Drake’s Mystery Shoulder, Super Bowl Propalooza, and a Mega-Parent Corner With Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal run through their favorite prop bets for Super Bowl LX between the Seahawks and the Patriots (0:34). Then, Jimmy Kimmel joins the pod for Parent Corner (01:12:47). Host: Bill Simmons Guests: Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel Producers: Chia Hao Tat, Eduardo Ocampo, and Chris Wohlers Bundle and Save Book now. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. And whether it's a flea flicker or a tush push, you need a plan that fits your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you. So they can help personalize coverage for your life and for your budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by Viori. When it comes to clothes that score high in both comfort and style, Viori is my MVP. Sunday performance joggers, oh yeah. They have the perfect, I could watch a game and then go out to dinner vibe. And the Meta pant, that's my number one, I need to look like I tried option. Get 20% off your first purchase at Viori.com/Simmons and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Exclusions apply.

• 0:44Bill Simmons?

  Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

• 1:21Bill Simmons?

  All right, we're live here on Netflix. I'm Bill Simmons, that's Cousin Sal. You can also get this podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network and on Spotify. We're going live against the Grammys. There's a Knicks Lakers game. We don't care. We just, we have so many props we want to get to. Plus, the faster we get this up, the faster it's just on Netflix.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  You did this on HBO.

• 1:43Bill Simmons?

  Didn't you learn?

• 1:45Speaker 01

  You're right, you're right. Yeah, there's a lot. Listen, this is what people want to see. We have, I have, I only have like, we can do this fast. I only have like 93, 94 props written down. So we can just blow through it. How many, what do you have?

• 1:57Bill Simmons?

  I have less and I can't wait to go through all them. I want to talk about this weekend though, because it was our first weekend without football in a while, which always makes you sad.

• 2:07Bill Simmons?

  I feel like everybody is getting better at scheduling stuff now. Like yesterday, we had, there was a Charlotte, San Antonio game on like in the morning, West Coast time.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:19Bill Simmons?

  There was Royal Rumble, live from Riyadh, then we had UFC, and we had boxing, and we had more basketball, and it was like this awesome sports day because I think all the smart people now who run this stuff are like, hey, here's a dead day, there's no football.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:35Bill Simmons?

  And plus, there was golf.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:36Bill Simmons?

  So I actually didn't miss the football that much this weekend.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  You think the sports gods were saying, oh, look, we can do this, let's band together, we could figure this out by doing it?

• 2:46Bill Simmons?

  I think everybody's getting better at figuring out what the weekends are to exploit. Like, I don't think it was an accident that all that stuff was yesterday, because that's a dead weekend.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 2:57Bill Simmons?

  We're going to the Super Bowl next weekend.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  You know, I don't know that we're gonna be so lucky every week to see a boxer get his toupee knocked off his scalp. I mean, that's, that's exciting. If that happens every week, sure, I'll get, I'll get through the offseason, fine. I didn't love the Royal Rumble, I don't know if you want, how much you want to talk about it, I didn't love, I didn't love it so early in the day. It ruined my family, we do a pool, we have, we all get together, and they had sports, so it was tough, and there was no way that we're gonna go without finding out who won six hours.

• 3:21Bill Simmons?

  It's the one wrestling thing I would not give to a country that's far away.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:27Bill Simmons?

  Because I feel like the people coming out, I love the reactions of whatever arena or stadium we're in, in America. I also think that they didn't have the, they didn't have like the, the wacky nostalgia people, you know? We didn't have like the Doink the Clown type of weirdo stuff, we only had some Iguana guy. So, yeah, it just, it felt like the energy was a little different.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  That's the fun, the Iguana guy, you pick the Iguana guy, you have him 18, it's like, ah, you point to whoever picked him, you're not gonna win this, and listen, don't get me wrong, I love Saudi Arabia, love it, but I just, you're right. And it was too many, yes, they should have more old timers in there, now they've been replaced with like sister promotion guys with masks, and even our good friend Gus, I think he was my friend first, didn't recognize a lot of the, a lot of the songs.

• 4:15Bill Simmons?

  Well, there was like five bodybuilder guys came out.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:18Bill Simmons?

  And they all kinda had the same body, I'm like, is this the new? Now these guys come out and they're jacked and

• 4:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:24Bill Simmons?

  And one of the guys came out, what they they said his name was like powerhouse Hobbs or something, but it's not his name anymore. And now his name is this. And I was like, I didn't know who powerhouse Hobbs was either.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, they had to keep going back and forth to what they were formerly known as.

• 4:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, the guy has two identities.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  This isn't Prince. I mean, to me, it's like, just bring Hornswoggle out there. He's delightful. He's a small guy, right? You're good for a half dozen laughs. Probably don't have to pay him that much. I don't, maybe they're afraid of little people in Saudi Arabia. I have no idea, but that guy should be, he should be on every Royal Rumble.

• 4:53Bill Simmons?

  It is, the Royal Rumble is the best when you're in college and you have a bunch of people and everybody draws the numbers. And then somebody shitty comes out. It's the funniest thing ever. And then the other time, it's super funny. And we've had it with both of our kids, with our sons, who, you know, they, they have like four numbers. And they're all excited their guy's coming out. And then it's like the Iguana guy. I remember my son throwing like some of the biggest tantrums of his life because he wasn't happy.

• 5:22Bill Simmons?

  I was telling about it yesterday because we're just watching. It's like, what's up with this Iguana guy? And I was like, 12 years ago, you would have been losing your mind.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  The Royal Rumble is responsible for probably 25% of the tears in this house. Three decades.

• 5:35Bill Simmons?

  Well, speaking of tears, we're going to do Super Bowl props. And then a little later, we have some NBA future stuff. And then we have a very special parent corner with a special guest.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:44Bill Simmons?

  Speaking of tears, I've spent the entire week, my guard was like, we did the pod last week. Didn't know anything about Drake man shoulder.

• 5:55Bill Simmons?

  Monday, Tuesday, I'm like, it's gotta be nothing. Then he missed a couple of practices. Then they were a little dodgy in the press conferences for the most part.

• 6:05Bill Simmons?

  This is all my text threads. These are all my conversations. This is everything I talked to my dad about. We don't even talk about the NBA trade deadline. We just talk about Drake man shoulder. I have some little information that I found out. I have lots of thoughts, but I've mentioned this because I think it makes it really hard to figure out the Super Bowl props. Because I don't know if he's a little bit injured, if this is a red herring, he's not injured at all. Is he more injured than they're letting on? We just found out that Josh Allen played with a broken foot for like five weeks and they just didn't tell us. So if he has like sprained shoulder.

• 6:43Bill Simmons?

  And they're like, well, we're gonna check it in a week. It should be fine. Right? That's, I could live with that. If it's partial tear in the labrum. And he can throw it and we have to shoot it up. Now I'm worried. So I, I, I was doing these props and I'm like, I have no idea if my QB can wing the ball or not.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Listen, I think, you know, the bruised shoulder or whatever. He had like, what, he got sick this week too? Had some kind of tummy ache or something. He's, he's.

• 7:11Bill Simmons?

  Did he get sick or was it like a little, they didn't want to have him throw the ball this week? And they're like, you're sick.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  This is, he's just obviously looking to bail on this game. I think the lights are way too bright, right?

• 7:22Bill Simmons?

  Maybe.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Like Drake maybe tried to tell us in other ways by fumbling six times over the last three weeks. Just let him step aside. He brought you to the playoffs. Like he did a good job. No, I don't, I don't know how serious to take this because it was all oblique, oblique, oblique for Sam Darnold. And then it ended up being nothing. So I think that's what a lot, most people are going off of like, all right, until it's a big deal, until we see it, it's not a big deal. Meanwhile, I have like Dr. Chow texting me, is Bill mad at me? I don't want him to be mad at me. I was like, who, pull yourself together.

• 7:52Bill Simmons?

  Chow is the Woodward and Bernstein of this. He was immediately on it with the video clip.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  He's like, find out if he's mad at me. I'm like, you're a doctor. Pull yourself together. My goodness.

• 8:00Bill Simmons?

  Come on, Dr. Chow.

• 8:03Bill Simmons?

  Look, I've watched it a bunch of times. I've been watching. So even today, they land the plane. Drake was carrying his bag with his, with his right hand. Down the, down the plane thing. I'm like, good sign. Carrying the bag with the right hand. Watching the fist pump he did after the winning scramble in the Denver game. Did that with the right arm. So maybe it's okay. I will say though, that like the, you know, I, I have some tentacles out there and the, and the Patriots, it was a little bit of an off week. A lot of them were at the Celtic game on Friday, for instance, they've been around. And when people ask them. Is Drake okay? He's gonna be fine, right? You figure there's like three ways to answer that question.

• 8:45Bill Simmons?

  Right? If this was Sal, it's like, is Sal gonna be on the pod today? I'm like, he's fine. He's, he'll definitely be on.

• 8:53Bill Simmons?

  Or you answer it like, no, no, he's, he's playing.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 8:58Bill Simmons?

  And if that's the answer, that makes me nervous.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  It's not like, no, no, he's, he's fine.

• 9:03Bill Simmons?

  Oh, he'll be, he'll be guns blazing on Sunday.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:07Bill Simmons?

  It's more like, uh, no, he's playing.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 9:12Bill Simmons?

  I just don't trust it, Sal. It's making me really nervous. Yeah, I might be overthinking it. We've had a whole week, but, uh, it is his throwing shoulder.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 9:21Bill Simmons?

  They asked Rabel, how do you feel? Like, are you worried about the whatever? And he was like, not much. It's, nobody has just definitively said, he's gonna be fine.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Right. I don't know what to say. I just, um, look, you should be, you should have to play with the backup after all this nonsense. Playing the schedule and.

• 9:38Bill Simmons?

  Well, if we have Josh steps.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  13 to 17 teams who, uh, games, teams fired their coach. Like, uh, yeah, well, you don't think you have a chance unless May plays this game?

• 9:47Bill Simmons?

  I, I don't think we have a chance. It does explain a couple of his throws in the fourth quarter, though, if his shoulder was a little banged up. Cause there was a specifically one in the, he's always gotten better as these games go along all year.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:58Bill Simmons?

  There was one throw over the middle that he kind of bounced.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 10:01Bill Simmons?

  In the, after he took that hit, which was like with two minutes left in the third quarter. And it, that was the one that I look back on. I'm like, oh, man, like. So maybe shoulder sprain, maybe they need a week. Maybe they'll be, maybe on Wednesday, it'll be like, his shoulder's fine. And if he's fine, I'm going over on a bunch of like 20 and a half completions.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  I can't wait to see how many overs you go with him now.

• 10:24Bill Simmons?

  Well, that, but that's, I don't know if he's healthy or not, but if he is healthy. When you think, we did this once. It was one of the Brady Super Bowls against Seattle. We both loved the completions, the over. Cause we were like, Seattle, they play safeties back. You gotta dink and dunk and pick them apart. It's gonna be a lot of completions for Brady. And I think that would be the recipe for the Pats, right? Just six yards, five yards, try to move the ball, keep the ball, and he would have like 25 completions. But if he's not healthy, I wouldn't want to bet that now.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  Right, but I don't know. Do you think, so let's say he's playing. Let's say he's playing for sure.

• 10:55Bill Simmons?

  He's definitely playing.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Right. So what information is actually going to get out between now and, you know, the anthem? Like, probably none, as long as he's playing, right? It's like you said, afterwards, we'll find out. Afterwards, we found out about Josh Allen, right? This is kind of how most of it is.

• 11:09Bill Simmons?

  But you can't hide during Super Bowl week.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  No, I'm just saying that the line's not gonna move.

• 11:12Bill Simmons?

  There's points where you have to practice in front of people.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  It's fine. I'm just saying his completion number is not going to move between now and then, right?

• 11:18Bill Simmons?

  But can he throw the deep ball? He's been great on deep balls. You can throw the deep ball in Seattle. How much scrambling is he gonna do, right? I think part of the problem, I don't think it was just that one hit. I think he took a shitload of hits over three weeks, right? He got sacked 15 times, which is, I think, a record for the first three rounds.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 11:36Bill Simmons?

  He got hit a whole bunch of other times where he got rid of the ball in time. And then he scrambled. I think he had 14 carries and took hits on that, too. So it might have been an accumulation thing. That's what scares me probably the most.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Well, your excuse is pretty well set now. I will say, you're good to go.

• 11:52Bill Simmons?

  These aren't excuses. The line hasn't moved. The best thing that I feel the best about is the line has not budged from four and a half. If it started creeping up to five, five and a half, I would get really nervous.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  Can I ask you, this is exactly what I wanted to ask you, like, which trends scare you? Which give you hope? Which do you immediately write off as inconsequential? I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read a few. You tell me if you.

• 12:14Bill Simmons?

  You talking gambling trends or football trends?

• 12:15Speaker 01

  I'll read, I'll read these. Favorites four and a half or higher, 1 and 10 against the spread the last 11 Super Bowls.

• 12:22Bill Simmons?

  I love that one. That made me feel great. Yeah.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Okay, you love it. Underdogs have won three straight Super Bowls outright and covered five straight Super Bowls and are 15-7 against the spread in the last 22 years.

• 12:32Bill Simmons?

  It also sounds wonderful.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  You like that. Okay. Pats in white jerseys, which they'll be wearing on Sunday, 5-0 straight up this season. White jerseys, 16-5 in the last 21 Super Bowls.

• 12:43Bill Simmons?

  I'm happy about that as well.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  You like that? All right, here's one. No starting quarterback with a name less than five letters long has won a Super Bowl. Starting quarterbacks whose first and last name end in the same letter are 0-6 in Super Bowls since the AFC was formed. Starting quarterbacks with the initials DM are 0-2 in the Super Bowl. Dan Marino, Donovan McNabb.

• 13:06Bill Simmons?

  What was the first name one? There's been quarterbacks with-

• 13:10Speaker 01

  Five letters long?

• 13:12Bill Simmons?

  What about Jalen Hurts?

• 13:15Speaker 01

  H U R T S. No starting quarterback with a last name less than five.

• 13:18Bill Simmons?

  Oh, your last name?

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, last name less than five. Yeah.

• 13:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, but here's the thing with Drake May is his name is now one name.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 13:28Bill Simmons?

  It's like, he's like Madonna, like Drake May is his name. Nobody calls him Drake. Nobody calls him- Have, has one person called him May ever in 2025 or 26?

• 13:37Speaker 01

  You know what? That's true. Like, I took a lot of crap, but if he actually changed his name to maybe, then he's got the five letters and you got, now he is in company. How about this? Just like which celebrity or influencer's bet gives you the most comfort? Like Drake, the rapper, if he bet a million on Seattle, he's number one.

• 13:54Bill Simmons?

  The other Drake going big on Seattle.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 13:57Bill Simmons?

  Combined with Adam Carolla also betting on Seattle would be my two, my two most exciting things.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Stephen A. saying they don't have a shot. That's pretty good. He'll take that.

• 14:06Bill Simmons?

  Stephen A. saying he could see Seattle winning 60 to nothing made me feel really good.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:10Bill Simmons?

  I liked, there was some graphic of all the ESPN people and everyone had Seattle. I felt great about that.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:16Bill Simmons?

  I think that Seattle fans are a little nervous about the fact that they're the favorites and, you know, they've- Even like in week 18, they were minus one and a half against the Niners, right? People are like, are we sure? Like, the Niners had like half a team. And it wasn't really until, I don't know, were they even, did they even have the respect in the Rams game? What did the Rams line end up at?

• 14:38Speaker 01

  Not really. I mean, it would have been-

• 14:40Bill Simmons?

  It was under three, right?

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Yep. Yeah, it was a two and a, two and a half, three and a half. Yeah, it jumped around there. Yep.

• 14:46Bill Simmons?

  It's funny because their defense is obviously really good. But it's not, it's not like the defense, when we've seen defenses just win a Super Bowl. Like, like our favorite example, the 2000 Ravens. I think the Seahawks Broncos Super Bowl is a good one. There's been a couple where the defense just crushed it.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:04Bill Simmons?

  The Seahawks don't get like a ton of sacks. Like, I was going through their box scores the last, like, they had like one sack in the Rams. Like, they'll get pressured. They're good at like bend, don't break. They're good at getting stops. But they're not like overrunning you the way like I think the Texans would or something, you know?

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Stafford had their number, you know, some-

• 15:22Bill Simmons?

  He threw it on them the whole game.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  They did. He definitely did. So you gotta, you gotta keep that going. And Kendall Jenner has a million dollars on the Patriots. In a way, in a way, that's good, I think. Like, yeah, everything she touches.

• 15:36Bill Simmons?

  I don't want to mention this for too long, but the thing that made me the most nervous was Kraft being in a certain set of emails.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  Oh, I saw that.

• 15:44Bill Simmons?

  Over the weekend. I didn't really like that that much.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:50Bill Simmons?

  What's that? That was tough. Yeah, it was a couple of tough Kraft moments in the last week where

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:56Bill Simmons?

  he's become the family patriarch that you're just worried the entire Thanksgiving, something bad's gonna happen.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:01Bill Simmons?

  Oh, no, we just gotta give one more hour with grandpa before we keep moving. Yeah, it's amazing how many people, first of all, the question I get asked the most is, why aren't I going? Which I've already explained.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:16Bill Simmons?

  And people are really dumbfounded, for the most part, in person, when I tell them, yeah, I can't go, and here's why. And they're just like, I just can't believe you wouldn't go. But I don't think people understand what it's like to watch your team lose at the Super Bowl.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 16:30Bill Simmons?

  And it's just not worth it for me.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  I get it. I definitely get it. But is this really gonna continue for the rest of your life? Like, let's say Drake, Drake maybe is just outstanding, and you're a nine-point favorite at some point to win the Super Bowl six years from now.

• 16:45Bill Simmons?

  I think it is. The only, the only thing that could flip it is if my son got really into the Pats.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  I see.

• 16:51Bill Simmons?

  Which hasn't happened yet, but if all of a sudden, like, this is happening to, a couple of my friends actually have kids around Ben's age or younger, where their kids have really gotten into it. Wilds was on the podcast Thursday talking about it.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:03Bill Simmons?

  And I think if it's your kid and they want to go, I think that would flip it.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 17:07Bill Simmons?

  But.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 17:08Bill Simmons?

  Limping out of those two Giants games, I still think about it. It's way up there.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:14Bill Simmons?

  It's really bad.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  No, it's easier to be home.

• 17:15Bill Simmons?

  I don't mean to rub it in, because your team hasn't been in in a while.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  Well, I saw them.

• 17:18Bill Simmons?

  I know you were there.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  I saw them win the Super Bowl against the Steelers, and it was not satisfying, because I, you know, I had the, I picked the over-under wrong. So what are you gonna do?

• 17:28Bill Simmons?

  How do we feel about the, the over, like, before we go into the props?

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:33Bill Simmons?

  How do we feel about the actual over-under and all that stuff? Like, just the line staying at four and a half, and then, uh...

• 17:42Bill Simmons?

  The over on, what is it 45 and a half now?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Forty five and a half. Yeah, it was 46 and a half and that, but it's been 45 and a half for solid four days now.

• 17:49Bill Simmons?

  So how do we feel about that?

• 17:51Speaker 01

  You know, I think it's like, we've seen enough Super Bowl, I think it's too low. And I think like, we've seen Super Bowls get out of hand, right? Sometimes they get out of hand early. But I feel like, I was looking at this, this is one of my, my plays, they're number one and number two in explosive play margins, right? And that's basically explosive play offense versus allowed on defense. So you might say, yeah, the defense is as good at stopping these. But if you throw in the fact that there's a Super Bowl, there's nervousness, there's trick plays that aren't left in the tank, right? Because you either use them now or you don't use them. There's no bad weather to consider. I really think that 45 and a half number could be off. Like two of the last year, three years, we saw 62 and 73.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  You know, I, I just, and you know, that last time they played, it was 52, should have been more if not for that fluky Malcolm Butler play. So I think it's a little low. I think he'd taken a adjusted over.

• 18:42Bill Simmons?

  You know what's weird? If this was a championship weekend game, so it was like the AFC title or NFC title game?

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:49Bill Simmons?

  I would think it's going to be like 40 or 35, 37.5, something like that. Like a defensive struggle and both teams like trying to have long drives. You're so right, like the Super Bowl, something about it just, just makes, it just plugs the game into the walking machine.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:07Bill Simmons?

  And all bets are off and you get the one stupid play. There's always the chance somebody can run it up. I was watching, they were showing Super Bowls all week and I was watching the, the Seattle Denver game ironically, that I forgot two weeks ago.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  How'd you like it for the first time?

• 19:22Bill Simmons?

  Well, I forgot it started with a safety.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:25Bill Simmons?

  And it was like 5-0 at one point and it was just really ugly, but then they eventually grew the lead. But then the other version of that was the Denver game when they beat, I think it was Carolina 24 to 10.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:37Bill Simmons?

  And it was just kind of ugly and it just, and I wonder if that's going to be this game. I know, I hear your point on the explosive plays, but.

• 19:46Bill Simmons?

  If Drake's not 100%, I don't know how the Pats get to 24 and up.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  We could be due for that. What was it Rams? It was Rams Patriots, right?

• 19:54Bill Simmons?

  That's what I was thinking about.

• 19:56Speaker 01

  No scoring forever and.

• 19:57Bill Simmons?

  It was 3-3 with 10 minutes left.

• 19:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, unreal. Yeah, I hope it's not that. I mean, I don't need it to be 52-48, but let's see each team score a couple touchdowns here.

• 20:06Bill Simmons?

  Well, because there's a couple of variables too, because we mentioned Drake's shoulder. The Seahawks are really down to one running back. And that guy they played as the backup did nothing. And I don't, I don't think they feel great about him, but they're not going to have the same pass protection. You know, they have one and a half receivers. Barner's fine, but there's, there's a chance like with the way the Pats defend, the Pats defense by all the advanced metrics, everything has been awesome now for like six, seven weeks.

• 20:34Bill Simmons?

  Maybe it'll be hard for them to score. I was wondering like that Seahawk, that Seahawks Niners game, week 18. I think the final score was 13 to three. There was a lot of settling for field goals and a lot of like choppiness and a lot of, felt like the entire game was in the middle of the field.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:48Bill Simmons?

  That could be that too.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Could be. I mean, that's when FanDuel cleans up, right? Because all the props, everything's, everything's leaning towards overs.

• 20:56Bill Simmons?

  Speaking of FanDuel.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:58Bill Simmons?

  Shout out to FanDuel Canada. Because sometimes in the, in the American sites, it's harder to find all the bets. FanDuel Canada was crushing it. We were passing, what did they have it on like Wednesday? They had everything. It's unbelievable. They had National Anthem bets. They really know how to do it in Canada.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  I think you and I, the Southwest go to Ontario, like, oh, let's just fly out there. I'll, I'll get, I'll spring for a boarding class tickets if we want.

• 21:24Bill Simmons?

  Canada's ready to roll. Uh, speaking of FanDuel, we're going to take a break and we're going to come back and it is officially profitable.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Let's do it.

• 21:33Bill Simmons?

  The Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by FanDuel. It may be last call for football, but there's still one more week to make a count on FanDuel. All week FanDuel giving you a daily profit boost every day leading up to the big game. That means more chances to boost your bets and send football season off the right way. Play your game with FanDuel, official sportsbook partner.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Of Super Bowl 60.

• 21:55Bill Simmons?

  You must be 21 plus, present in select states or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, Wyoming. Opting for a bonus issued as non-durable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply, including any token expiration, max wager amount. See terms at sportsbook.fan.com. Gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You gotta love a good deal, whether that's a quarterback on a short, low-risk contract, who competes like a top-tier quarterback, like a Brock Purdy, once upon a time. Or Expedia's bundle and save feature, which allows you to combine flights, hotels and cars

• 22:36Bill Simmons?

  into one package for impressive discounts. And not just that, but if you're a member, you can book an item now, add select items later, and still enjoy bundled savings. For instance, if you're a football fan, you want to go to the championship, conference championship, the Super Bowl, wherever it is, and you don't know your team's going to be in, all of a sudden they're in, what do you gotta do? I gotta get a hotel, I get a flight, I get a car. Expedia can do all three. You never know when your team's going to be in a big game. Use Expedia. Now that is a winning strategy. Book now with Expedia.

• 23:11Bill Simmons?

  All right, so before we get to the props, you mentioned how the underdogs are 15-7 against the spread since 2004 and have covered five straight.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:21Bill Simmons?

  Did we realize that trend was happening at any point during the Super Bowl runs when we were making picks? Or, because 15-7, I was actually surprised that that was the number.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:31Bill Simmons?

  Maybe I have amnesia. I don't remember.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  14-7 would have been nice, 13-7. The problem is like when the Chiefs are staring at us as favorites a lot of those years. So what are we gonna do?

• 23:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. And the Pats. And the Pats were the masters of winning, but not covering.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:44Bill Simmons?

  A bunch of those. All right, Super Bowl props. We've been doing this. First time we did it was the, I think it was the Pats-Giants, the first one, right?

• 23:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:55Bill Simmons?

  Because I had my podcast for ESPN in '07 at that point.

• 24:01Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so I think this is our...

• 24:02Speaker 01

  That worked well.

• 24:03Bill Simmons?

  That would be our 19th Super Bowl. This would be our 19th Super Bowl props.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. Do you want to do the novelty ones first that we talked about in California?

• 24:11Bill Simmons?

  No, let's go, let's go serious and then we'll get goofy.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Yep, yep.

• 24:16Bill Simmons?

  So Drake May, Drake May related stuff. We mentioned the 20 and a half completions over plus 108, mentioned the 50 plus rush yards, two to one. The interceptions minus 138, which I think might, I hate to say it, but might be the best one either way. If he's healthy, he's gonna be throwing the ball a lot. Every, every round, he's either had a pick or it seems like he should have had a pick. If he's not healthy and his shoulder isn't great, then that might happen too. Darnold is minus 128 for interception. I haven't seen a bet, have you, where you could bet on both guys to throw a pick?

• 24:48Speaker 01

  I did.

• 24:49Bill Simmons?

  What's that? What are the odds on that?

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Plus 200. I like that.

• 24:53Bill Simmons?

  I like it. Alright, so we're gonna mark that one down, right?

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 24:56Bill Simmons?

  So you like the double pick, plus 200?

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's weird because each quarterback, two interceptions is only plus 300. So both teams interception is nice value there.

• 25:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, the two plus picks is three to one.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 25:11Bill Simmons?

  Okay. Alright, so we'll get to that. Let's do, want to do MVP first or touchdowns first?

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Uh, let's do MVP. Let's work.

• 25:18Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  We already know the result.

• 25:21Bill Simmons?

  So there was a great bet for this that I think we talked about on Ringer Gambling Show on at least one of our shows with JSN a few weeks ago. I think Raheem was on that. I forget who else. But I want to say it was like 18 to one before they played a playoff game. And the analogy was like Edelman, Cooper Cup, like sometimes a receiver can kind of own the game. He's really the only receiver. That, those odds have dropped.

• 25:47Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:47Bill Simmons?

  So he is.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  He's in the game, yeah.

• 25:50Bill Simmons?

  He is now, what, five to one, is it now?

• 25:54Speaker 01

  JSN is plus 550, I'm saying.

• 25:58Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  Two favorites are Darnold plus 115 and maybe plus 230.

• 26:03Bill Simmons?

  Okay. So if you had to bet, so important note for the, for the young aspiring gamblers and people who are going to parties this week who want to make bets. We're not saying who we think is gonna win the MVP necessarily. We're just saying, what is the best value?

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:18Bill Simmons?

  That we're looking at this like, oh, wow, that, those are the odds? I like it. So what's your favorite?

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Alright, I'm saying both, actually. I'm saying this is the best value and I'm saying this is who's gonna win MVP. And you could go MVP, any other position or quarterback. Any other positions, plus 210. Quarterbacks, minus 260.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  I'm done. I'm stunned, Simmons. Like, I know this is a boring pick, but I'm going quarterback. I know it's a giant number, but if I had to bet on exactly one thing the whole game, it would be that a quarterback's gonna be MVP. Three in a row, three Super Bowls in a row, 12 out of the last 16. This is becoming like the regular season MVP where it almost has to be a quarterback. I mean,

• 26:56Bill Simmons?

  So what are the odds?

• 26:57Speaker 01

  It's minus 260. It sucks. And I'm just saying, everything else is a sucker bet. Like, I like Cooper Cup at 100 to 1. That's ridiculous. That's way too high if you want to play some of the fun ones. You'll probably throw out a few defensive players, but honestly, once it gets to like 2118, 2117, they're gonna give it to a quarterback. And, you know, it could be where JSN has three touchdowns and nobody else does anything. Then you have to kind of give it to them, but that's like the only scenario where anyone other than a quarterback gets it in a big offensive game, I think.

• 27:28Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, but why wouldn't you pick the team you think is gonna win and then just either bet Darnold plus 115 or May at plus 230?

• 27:35Speaker 01

  You could do that. You could do that. Or you could just sit back for three and a half, four hours and, uh, and win. But you'll, you'll, you have more, Cup is my long shot. What do you like? I'm sure you have some good ones to throw.

• 27:46Bill Simmons?

  I thought Remandre at 30 to 1 was pretty interesting. I just thought that line was really high and especially if Drake is 100% healthy, I just think they're gonna try to run or bust. I actually really liked how the Rams ran the ball last week. I think Corum and, uh, and Williams, I think they were like over four yards a carry, but I felt like they were moving the ball and the problem was they fell behind. Yeah. I feel like the holes were there too. Um, so I like that one a little bit. I think for the wild cards, I mean, honestly,

• 28:17Bill Simmons?

  it's Trabion, Trabion at 125 to 1 jumped out at me too. Yeah. Because, and he has been done nothing for a while. But there was, uh, I'm gonna give, a reader named John P. sent this tweet along. It's from a tweet somebody named Pete Collins did, and it was about how Trabion Henderson has been crushing split safety looks this year.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 28:39Bill Simmons?

  68 carries, 319 yards, two TDs, almost five yards a carry. Best in the league among qualified running backs. New England barely saw two high shells on offense. Seattle has the highest rate of two high shells and they've allowed 5.0 yards per carry against them. And the reason I was thinking Henderson was sometimes the big ass run can like just like if it's like a 20 to 10 win and he has like a 78 yard touchdown run and runs for 100 yards. I just thought those odds were crazy. So he's had two, and this plays to another bet I had with him that I thought was interesting for a running thing. 70 plus rush yards for him is 14

• 29:20Bill Simmons?

  to one. 80 plus, these are all on Fando. 80 plus yards is 25 to one. He's had a 65 yarder and a 69 yard run this year. Twice. So two in 20 games for them. 10% of the time, he's busted one. This is the kind of defense that he's busted. So you're betting 10% of the time he does this, but I'm getting 25 to one odds at 80 plus yards.

• 29:45Speaker 01

  That's what it is for 80? All right. That's better than the one I wrote down. As long as we're giving love to Travion. I had most rushing yards for Henderson at plus 2,000. So.

• 29:55Bill Simmons?

  Right. This makes more, the 80 plus makes more sense because then that would be like a 65 yard run and he would get like a five and a 10 or whatever and he would get it. So, so yeah, I had him down and then for the, the other one is just Marcus Jones. So do you know how many TDs Marcus Jones has this year?

• 30:14Speaker 01

  How many? No, I don't know this one.

• 30:16Bill Simmons?

  He has four.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  Does he have that many?

• 30:18Bill Simmons?

  He has two defensive interceptions and two special teams touchdowns. And he's like an awesome kick returner.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:24Bill Simmons?

  And I was thinking like, what if he, what if he had a kick return touchdown? And then what if, what if he had a kick return touchdown and a defensive touchdown? Or would it have been a kick return and an interception? But the odds are like nuts for him. They are, I can't even find them.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  Is it plus, is 125 to one? Is that what I'm looking at?

• 30:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I think, I think that's what it is.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Ernest Jones? Is that what he said?

• 30:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  No, Marcus. Marcus is 100 to one. Yeah.

• 30:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So it's like, if they play this game 50 times, is there one version of this game where he busts a kick return touchdown and gets a pick?

• 30:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:00Bill Simmons?

  And if he gets a pick, he's dangerous.

• 31:02Speaker 01

  You see, this is what I didn't want to do. I was all set on quarterbacks. And now you're going to make me bet six of these, including, you know, Jason Myers and all this other nonsense. But you have to do it. It's the last game.

• 31:13Bill Simmons?

  I think the best, the single best bet to me is JSN. I just think for value. Yeah, 550 because odds are he's 10 for 125 with the touchdown. If he gets two touchdowns, he locks it. And we also have really good history of multi, I was looking at the multi touchdown game history.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 31:34Bill Simmons?

  And there's some good ones like.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Well, Cooper Cup was one of them, right? We were at that game.

• 31:38Bill Simmons?

  Cooper Cup? So in the last 10 years, Jalen Hertz had the three touchdowns. So he doesn't count because they were running. But 22, Cup had two, 21, Gronk had two for Tampa, 20, Williams had two, he's a running back, 18, Gronk had two, and then 17, James White had three, and I think two of them were catches. So, because I was looking at, I think the two plus TD bet is, we get great odds on that. Raheem's always loved that one.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Yep. That's a fun.

• 32:09Bill Simmons?

  I was trying to figure out who the best two plus TD bet guy would be. And it's gotta be him, right?

• 32:15Speaker 01

  JSN for sure.

• 32:16Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, it's plus 650 that he gets two TDs. So you can do that instead of the MVP bet. Because if he gets two TDs, he's probably win MVP.

• 32:24Speaker 01

  But he might not. Yeah, I see. Yeah, I just, the only thing is you gotta get for the MVP, you probably, all those guys you listed, how many receptions? Seven?

• 32:35Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you, you have to go.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  It can't be two one yard touchdown catches and nothing else, right?

• 32:39Bill Simmons?

  No, you gotta be nine for over 100, seven, eight, nine catches for 110, 140 yards.

• 32:46Bill Simmons?

  And you need at least one TD, probably two. If it's a higher scoring game, I think you need two. Lower scoring game, you need one.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  I mean, Cup had a bunch of catches and drew like pass interferences towards the end, like, like three of them in that last drive or next to the last drive against Cincinnati.

• 33:00Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's part of my question with Darnold, when you talk about how he's a lock, like you think the QBs are the best bet.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:07Bill Simmons?

  There's probably going to be some pass interference yards, which is always weird for these MVP things like.

• 33:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 33:11Bill Simmons?

  I'm just telling you now, like Carlton Davis is going to get a pass interference in this game. It's like they, I don't know if you can bet on it on Fanduel, but I would, I would bet on that. It'll be a roller coaster ride this whole game.

• 33:22Speaker 01

  He's top four in drawing pass interference calls, the receivers in the league, so.

• 33:26Bill Simmons?

  Right. So he, so he gets a 35 yard pass interference. It counts for nobody. It counts for neither Darnold or.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 33:33Bill Simmons?

  JSN on that one. And then the only other one, it's like if it's a Seattle defense goes nuts game.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 33:43Bill Simmons?

  That's probably Lawrence at that point.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's what 100? Yeah.

• 33:49Bill Simmons?

  And speaking of that, I, that, I mean, I'm sure everybody has this, but him for the one sack at plus 22, 122, I think that's a put in bold.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  That's moved around a lot already this week.

• 34:01Bill Simmons?

  It's dropped from like plus 145 to plus 120 range, right?

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. I don't know. I don't, so what are we going to do? We're going to take like six of these?

• 34:12Bill Simmons?

  I think the best bet is JSN, but I also like the Marcus Jones one. I think those are my two favorites.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  All right. I'm going to.

• 34:20Bill Simmons?

  And do you like Remandre at 30 to one or no?

• 34:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I like, I, I get it that that's, that's the kind of game it would have to be. I think your guys passing would have to be short passes the whole time. They wouldn't be able to put up big numbers, but I don't know if you could win a game like that. I'm urging people to bet $2.6 million to win $1 million on a quarterback to win this MVP.

• 34:43Bill Simmons?

  So if the Patriots win, I think May is going to be the MVP because that would mean he played well and he carried them for some reason. If Seattle wins, I don't think that means Darnold is the MVP.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 34:55Bill Simmons?

  You can, to me, that would be 50 50 at that point. Like in the NFC title game, he definitely would have won MVP. Even though JSN was awesome in that game, but Darnold was like 350 and didn't have a pick.

• 35:08Speaker 01

  But if you see a Kenneth Walker rushing touchdown, then you see a JSN receiving touchdown. Then it's, then the needle moves to Darnold, right? Cause it's not one player dominating. So usually the quarterback.

• 35:21Bill Simmons?

  All right. Touchdown stuff. Your favorite touchdown, you can go anytime touchdown, multiple touchdowns, first touchdown. What was your single favorite one?

• 35:30Speaker 01

  Let me see. Hold on. I gotta, I gotta find it. Uh, Cardi B, that kind of all the stuff. All right. All right. Uh, well, first of all, under one and a half yards, shortest touchdown, minus 138, little juicy there. It's a brother Bryce special. It's hit five of the last six. It's hit 22 of the last 32. It really should be about minus 180, 185, but it's minus 138. You talked about it. P I calls in the end zone, puts the ball right at the one. We see it all the time. We saw it a bunch of times with Hertz. I know, obviously, but under one and a half. I like Cup, Cup to score the first touchdown at plus 1300 and to score at plus, uh, 260. I'll find some more. Go ahead. What do you have?

• 36:11Bill Simmons?

  Cup 1300 for first.

• 36:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:14Bill Simmons?

  And then what was the other one?

• 36:15Speaker 01

  Plus 260 that he, that he scores, uh, anytime.

• 36:20Bill Simmons?

  All right. This is my favorite. I, this might be my single favorite bet.

• 36:25Bill Simmons?

  Barner to get a touchdown.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 36:28Bill Simmons?

  Is plus 1230.

• 36:33Bill Simmons?

  I think that's what it is, but, uh, he's 12 to one. Oh, plus 230. Sorry. Is that what it is now?

• 36:39Speaker 01

  Just any touchdown, anytime?

• 36:40Bill Simmons?

  Anytime touchdown is what? Is it plus 230 or no? That's gonna be higher than that. I think I, I had a typo. I'm sorry, America.

• 36:51Bill Simmons?

  Plus 230.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Anytime plus 230. Yeah.

• 36:53Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Plus 230. First touchdown's 12 to one. Two touchdowns is 20 to one. Here's the case for Barner. Not only I see their tight end, so he might be able to get like the first and goal from the five touchdown. He's now their, their tush push, short yardage guy because Charbonne got hurt.

• 37:12Speaker 01

  Good one.

• 37:12Bill Simmons?

  And that's a recent development. So any fourth and one, he's coming in or any first down and goal from the one. Like you talked about the brother Bryce special, Barner is going to be in the game.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:23Bill Simmons?

  Anything one yard and in, he's in. And at the plus 230, I think, I think that's amazing value. I kind of can't believe it's not higher because I could also get a pass with him too.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:34Bill Simmons?

  But I like the 20 to one too for two TDs.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  All right. I'm writing that down.

• 37:39Bill Simmons?

  I don't necessarily like him for MVP because I don't think he'll have enough catches because he's usually like a two for 15, three for 20 guy. But he might catch a five yard touchdown and run for another one and then run for another first down. Any, any fourth and one, third and one, goal line and one, he's going to be with the ball. That's their push guy.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  I know, but can we talk about how ridiculous plus 230 is for anytime touchdown? Barner, when there's JSN, there's Diggs.

• 38:08Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  There's the quarterbacks who can run it in. There's, you know, there's this Kenneth Walker, like, come on. We, we can move these up to more than plus 230.

• 38:17Bill Simmons?

  Well, so Drake's plus 290, JSN's minus 110. This is for anytime. Marcus Jones is 22 to one for a TD. I just want to bring him up again. The New England defense is plus 850. The New England defense is 40 to one for the first TD.

• 38:34Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 38:35Bill Simmons?

  And I bring that up for this reason, cuz.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 38:39Bill Simmons?

  Who led the league in turnovers this year?

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Seahawks, right?

• 38:44Bill Simmons?

  What quarterback?

• 38:45Speaker 01

  Oh, Darnold had 14 interceptions. Did he also fumble combined?

• 38:49Bill Simmons?

  Sam Darnold had 20 turnovers this year. He had the most turnovers in the league. The number two guy was Geno Smith at 18 and the number three guy was Tua Taglavola at I think 15. Sam Darnold had the most turnovers in the league.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  I know.

• 39:05Bill Simmons?

  In the league. And up until week 18 in San Francisco, everybody's like, I don't know. The San Francisco is a one and a half point favorites on the road, missing half their team. We were like, I don't know. Sam Darnold gets to the playoffs. I don't know. Looked really good against the Rams. Sam Darnold, I trust him completely. Are you sure? We've seen him flame out in these games.

• 39:29Speaker 01

  No, I think he throws one for sure. What did we talk about? Plus 200 for both to throw one up? It's a long game. I agree.

• 39:37Bill Simmons?

  Right. So that new, so a pick six, basically New England D could also be a fumble recovery or strip sack plus 850. But that first touchdown, 40 to one.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  That's fun. That's a fun one. I had a combination here. Uh, Diggs and Walker first touchdown. Cause there's like a million combinations offered on Fandel, but if you like the idea that Diggs is going to score and KW.

• 39:57Bill Simmons?

  See, I feel like you did this a couple of years ago and it seemed great on paper and then it didn't work.

• 40:03Speaker 01

  Are you saying I offered a Super Bowl prop and it didn't come to fruition?

• 40:06Bill Simmons?

  No, I mean, there was a year, there was a year where you were like, these are great. You get this guy or this guy.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  I know, but this guy or this guy gives you a couple of, then, you know, if you have Diggs first touchdown. And Seattle's at the eight yard line, you're kind of screwed, right? Like you just, yeah.

• 40:22Bill Simmons?

  And then Tonga gets the first touchdown.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Diggs or Walker first touchdown plus 260. I don't, fine. I'm just saying a lot of fun combinations out there.

• 40:30Bill Simmons?

  So what was your favorite combination?

• 40:31Speaker 01

  Diggs, Walker. Your boy, Stefan, it's plus 260. That either one of those is the first touchdown.

• 40:39Bill Simmons?

  I have my favorite long shot for this.

• 40:43Bill Simmons?

  If this is your Gary Russell bet, I apologize in advance.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Don't do it. It won't be.

• 40:49Bill Simmons?

  Does your Gary, well, does your Gary Russell bet, is it the last name begins with a T?

• 40:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 40:57Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 40:59Bill Simmons?

  Tonga for a touchdown is 75 to one.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 41:04Bill Simmons?

  This is something the Patriots have been doing. Um, last few games, they bring in this huge defensive tackle they have. And in the last game, they brought in him and Milton Williams together, which was nuts. They've been bringing in Tonga. Patriots coach Mike Vrabel.

• 41:20Bill Simmons?

  Famously used by Belichick to be a blocking back or like a tight end person, but then would catch balls. And I think there's some crazy stat, like he has more touchdown catches than there. It's like five Hall of Famers who've played in Super Bowls.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:36Bill Simmons?

  And I wonder if there's some Vrabel symmetry with him getting some non-receiver, non-running back, non-tight end. Like Tonga, just ran, oh my God, Tonga, it's the first touchdown of his career.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 41:50Bill Simmons?

  75 to one.

• 41:51Speaker 01

  I flagged lineman scores a touchdown at plus 1100. Obviously not as good as 75 to one, but you got the.

• 41:58Bill Simmons?

  The lineman covers, that covers everybody on both teams.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Both teams, Vrabel's devious nature. You got Seattle at the one yard line. Maybe they want to put the whole Malcolm Butler thing, the rest, like here's an F.

• 42:10Bill Simmons?

  Fake burner, burner, that's burner throwing to.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  Exactly, right.

• 42:13Bill Simmons?

  Some number 64.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Someone 60 pounds heavier than Barner, whoever it is, yeah. Plus 1100, not bad.

• 42:19Bill Simmons?

  I just, I really feel like Vrabel is going to pass it on.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:24Bill Simmons?

  If he has the chance to pass it on to somebody. And also this is McDaniel and they do weird shit when they're close to the goal line and in big yards.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  I'm gonna write down.

• 42:33Bill Simmons?

  Daniel has done this his whole, his whole life.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  Tonga's 75 to one.

• 42:38Bill Simmons?

  The, the Drake, his odds were plus 290. He's 30 to one for two touchdowns. And when you see them around the goal line, like they, they did the Josh Allen quarterback draw play for him.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:53Bill Simmons?

  But if he's not healthy, who knows? For the playoffs, he's 24 for 141 rushing with a TD. And then the JSN bet, so him being minus 110, he's 12 touchdowns in 19 games.

• 43:06Bill Simmons?

  Out of those 12 touchdowns, only two of them were two touchdown games.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:10Bill Simmons?

  So he's scored in 10 of the 19 games.

• 43:16Bill Simmons?

  I don't think the minus 110 are good enough.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  No, that's the dirty little secret. None of these are good enough, really. But it's fun to bet two or more. That's a good one. That's because if they play 75 times, you might score. But um, yeah, the two pluses are fun. I, but how many touchdowns are expected in this game? Five?

• 43:36Bill Simmons?

  I don't know. Depends if the, if the.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  I think it's five, you know, five and a half.

• 43:41Bill Simmons?

  Is that what the number is? On Sunday night, I was like, this, this is gonna be like a 30 27. I think we can move the ball in their defense. And now that Drake's not as healthy, I wonder, is this gonna be a chew up the clock when you have the ball kind of game?

• 43:53Speaker 01

  I would like to get a separate box of the FanDuel CEO and everybody watching us discuss this. And they're like, these idiots just named 35 players to score a touchdown when there's only five and a half touchdowns expected in this game. You think that's going on behind our back? Probably.

• 44:09Bill Simmons?

  I think they're probably laughing and being like, these guys, this is, this is great. All their bets are terrible. Speaking of FanDuel, Super Bowl LX, you calling it 60 or LX?

• 44:20Speaker 01

  I gotta go 60.

• 44:22Bill Simmons?

  60 is upon us. Unfortunately, that means it's the last call. For football.

• 44:29Bill Simmons?

  How you feeling?

• 44:31Speaker 01

  I'm not, I'm not feeling that great. I know you, you know, you set the stage nicely with the Saturday before, but uh, I don't know how we're gonna get through this. I really don't.

• 44:40Bill Simmons?

  Well, we're doing all of our props. We're doing all of our predictions all week long, but FanDuel has a $6 million? Yeah. TD jackpot.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 44:50Bill Simmons?

  Place any, anytime TD bet on the Super Bowl, the jackpot token applied. And if the select player scores the first three or the last three, not only do you win your bet, you get to split the prize pool with the others who selected the same TD scorer.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  If you take Tonga, that mean, who are you splitting it with? Well, now, now it's gonna be a bunch of people. Yeah.

• 45:10Bill Simmons?

  So we can go first or last TD. We want to go first. I like Barner at 12 to one for the first TD. But I'm going to be outruled by you. What's your favorite?

• 45:21Speaker 01

  No, if you like that, that's fine. And I think you got to go big numbers here because like I said, those first four or five are not worth it at plus 140 and 230 and all those. So I would say Cooper Cup, but if Barner is a good, you stayed your case. I like it.

• 45:35Bill Simmons?

  Barner, I can get, I can get the first and goal from the one following the pass interference.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 45:41Bill Simmons?

  Little tush push thing. Or maybe they try to run it and they couldn't get it. Now it's third and one and they bring them in. I could get a little play action. I wouldn't be excited at all.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  You'd be so pumped. You'd be like, yeah, Barner, we're down 10, nothing.

• 45:54Bill Simmons?

  I'm just going to be silently by myself, just freaking out. That's, that's our pick for the jackpot. Listen to Bill Simmons podcast all week and the Ringer Gambling Show and continue to place your bets on FanDuel Sportsbook for the big game. FanDuel, play your game. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Workday. Guessing is for game shows, not your business, especially when your margin for error is zero. Workday is the enterprise AI platform for HR, finance and IT with a deep understanding of your organization's context and guardrails. So every AI action is permission aware, giving you accuracy 24/7 and the ability to not just get work done, but get it done right. It's a new Workday. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra.

• 46:38Bill Simmons?

  Excitement is in the air. That's right. It's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras and watch Tipoff. Plus, as the official beer sponsor of the NBA, Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with the experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21 plus. Begins on October 1st, 2026. Ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, prizes and details. Uh rushing stuff.

• 47:21Bill Simmons?

  Drake May under thirty six and a half or over.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  Boy, this moves around so much. Didn't it already move four yards?

• 47:28Bill Simmons?

  Forty plus yards is now plus one oh eight. Fifty plus yards is plus two hundred and sixty is plus three fifty. If I knew he was a hundred percent, I would be banging the fifty plus for two to one. And if it turns out on Wednesday, Thursday, he's cleared, he's a hundred percent fifty plus, because I think he's, we've seen it. He needs to use his legs to help them move the ball.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  So you think if he's not a hundred percent, he'd take off more? There'd be more designed quarterback runs?

• 47:54Bill Simmons?

  But you're gonna get hit, though.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe he doesn't take the inbounds and everything. Maybe it's a little more sliding. Maybe he finds the sideline more, but maybe a couple more.

• 48:02Bill Simmons?

  I don't like tentative Drake Drake May.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 48:04Bill Simmons?

  Uh, and we mentioned the Travion stuff.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:08Bill Simmons?

  Seventy plus, fourteen to one, eighty plus, twenty five to one. What was your favorite?

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Well, I like the Travion to more most rushing yards, although you crushed that with the eighty plus, uh, it gets twenty five to one. Uh, how about this? Any player rushes for two oh five plus, which would be our Super Bowl record, which by the way is held by Timmy Smith, who did this Washington against Denver. This is this an unbreakable record? This is a thirty eight year old record. He did it in twenty two carries. I feel like at a hundred to one, you have a couple with great breakaway speed and ability with Kenneth Walker and Travion Henderson, as we've met, like a hundred to one? Two hundred and five? Is this just, oh, this is never gonna get beaten?

• 48:52Bill Simmons?

  The problem, I was looking at Walker. I actually like the under for him at seventy three and a half, just because the Pats run day has been so good. The problem with Walker is he's been a fifteen to nineteen carry guy like his whole career. He's not like a workhorse running back. He's not like a huge guy. He's had a bunch of injuries over the years. And even in that last game, they were pretty careful. Like they, they brought in, uh, the backup. They had wide receivers in the backfield a couple of times. They used Barner.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 49:21Bill Simmons?

  I don't think he'll get to 20 carries. Do you?

• 49:24Speaker 01

  He kinda gets lost in those holes, though. I don't want to compare him to Barry Sanders, but you're like, oh, he's bottled up after three. It's like, it really is just the explosive play potential, right? I don't think he's gonna do it with, uh, you know, six yards a carry for 35 carries. That's not how he would get this, but, um, and then you're a guy too. I mean, these guys, you don't see this where these guys have gigantic, what'd you say, 69 and 65 yards? That, that would help. That would help to get to 205.

• 49:50Bill Simmons?

  You almost need to get two of them.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:52Bill Simmons?

  101 is interesting. That would be Walker just absolutely murdering us.

• 49:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:59Bill Simmons?

  So this is for the Drake May. Oh, I'll do the Seattle quickly. I thought the under 73 and a half for Walker, under for the backup Polani.

• 50:10Bill Simmons?

  This one was interesting.

• 50:13Bill Simmons?

  JSN 0.5 rushing yards is the over under. I was like, wow, that's low. They'll just do a sweep of them. I looked it up. Said four rushes in September. They don't use them that way at all because they need them so badly for the past stuff that they don't, they don't run like, like in the beginning of the Seattle Denver game that I was watching, they got the safety. They ran that quick sweep play with Percy Harvin that always seemed unstoppable when he's in motion, full speed, and they just hand it off.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Right.

• 50:40Bill Simmons?

  And you would think they would do that with JSN, but they don't. They run that play for Shaheed. So I, I actually like the under for that.

• 50:46Speaker 01

  What was Shaheed? Shaheed's probably, uh,

• 50:49Bill Simmons?

  Well, Shaheed, that's a popular one and everyone got killed on that last week.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  Right, right, right. Yeah.

• 50:54Bill Simmons?

  But they tried it. They ran the one sweep of them.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  I mean, look, like we said, this is not where you don't, you don't keep the trick plays in the bag, you know?

• 51:02Bill Simmons?

  No. Well, yeah, you're right. If you're gonna run JSN, this is the week because you're not doing it. You're zagging. But the ones I really like, I like these Ramandre odds. Um, his over is 49 and a half. And you look at like, so these are like since the Buffalo game that they lost, he was six for 50, eight for 51 against Baltimore, eight for 47 against the Jets. They took him out. Against Miami, seven for 131, took him out. Chargers playoffs, 10 for 53. Houston, 16 for 70, and then Denver, 25 for 71.

• 51:36Bill Simmons?

  Especially if Drake's not 100% healthy, they're gonna be trying to run the ball.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:41Bill Simmons?

  And the other one I really like, 20 plus first quarter rushing yards is plus 174. And the Pats always start out slow. They try to establish, you know, try to keep the ball, move the chains, get some first downs. 20 plus sounds great.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:56Bill Simmons?

  Plus 174?

• 51:58Speaker 01

  The tough thing with the first quarter is you don't know if you're getting the ball, right? Everyone's very, everyone's very conservative, which lends towards your bet winning.

• 52:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. So, um, and I have some props, receiving props that go along with that. But yeah, how many drives you need for that? You need two or one?

• 52:14Bill Simmons?

  I need, I need two and maybe even one if he busts like a 13 yarder, which he's prone to. The other one I liked for him was five plus rushing yards each quarter, plus 240.

• 52:26Bill Simmons?

  Just five.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a good.

• 52:28Bill Simmons?

  Second quarter would be the hard one because you have like the, uh, there's a two minute drill potential. Then fourth quarter, same thing.

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Look, you're stuck with this whole, this Rabel thing and he's like now copying like Belichick. How frustrating it was, was it for gamblers to, you know, worked out Super Bowl wise for you guys, but you didn't know the snap count for your running backs ever. Like that was a secret. Remondre snap count was split with, with Henderson, like seven, week 17 and 18 as, as late as that. Then it was like 94% to 6% in favor of Remondre Stevenson, which is crazy. So, uh, Patriots fans still talking about that kick return in the preseason. Give Trevion some love here.

• 53:10Bill Simmons?

  Even somebody like Bobo, I was looking up that.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:12Bill Simmons?

  Looking up Seahawks snap counts. It's like Bobo played.

• 53:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 53:16Bill Simmons?

  19, 19 plays last week. Oh, what is that?

• 53:18Speaker 01

  What sickos. Seahawks snap counts we're doing.

• 53:21Bill Simmons?

  We have all this.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  God bless.

• 53:23Bill Simmons?

  All this shit now. Um, yeah. So I like, I think out of all those, my favorite is probably just the over 49 and a half.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 53:31Bill Simmons?

  For him, the straight up, but I like that 20 plus first quarter. Any other rushing ones from you?

• 53:35Speaker 01

  I had more, uh, I have a bunch of receiving.

• 53:38Bill Simmons?

  Okay, let's go to receiving.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:40Bill Simmons?

  Um, Smith and Jigba, 90 plus is minus 128 for receiving. 100 plus is plus 116. 125 plus is plus 265.

• 53:53Bill Simmons?

  It's a lot.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Well, if you like them to win MVP, you're gonna like all those numbers, right?

• 53:57Bill Simmons?

  Right. I would at that point just bet the MVP because you get better odds. The question for me is, are the Pats gonna do the thing where they try to actually take out Cup? And just hope JSN doesn't go nuts? Or do they try to take out JSN and steer everything to Cup and Barner and some of these other guys? I don't know what the strategy is gonna be.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, the old Pats would do the put the two guys on the one on the best and then the

• 54:20Bill Simmons?

  Yes.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  next best on that. So that's interesting.

• 54:23Bill Simmons?

  Make Cooper Cup beat you.

• 54:24Speaker 01

  This is a big spread in terms of your best guy and their best guy. Ninety-three and a half for JSN and Diggs is forty-three and a half. Like, have we seen a spread of fifty before in a while? I don't think, I don't think so. But, um, yeah, I mean, I have, I have a few here. Uh, well, let's see. You want to go? Did you have any?

• 54:44Bill Simmons?

  No, go. Let me hear him.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  All right. Uh, Henry, catch on the first drive, plus two fifty. I don't have the data, but to me, and especially if there's shoulder issues, this is good. Get rid of the butterflies first pass.

• 54:56Bill Simmons?

  Short one?

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Tight end settles in the first level, four yards over the middle. I would bet AJ Barner at similar odds, right? Seattle twenty-ninth in the league against tight ends. So Hunter Henry, props in general. There you go. So Hunter Henry, anytime touchdown is plus two thirty. But Hunter Henry, where the ball is tipped by six or more Seahawk defenders before he catches it is also plus two thirty. So lucky, so lucky.

• 55:22Bill Simmons?

  Stuck that in. I was looking at Ernest Jones for that too, because Drake's almost throwing picks to linebackers, I think, two straight weeks.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's close. I mean, I got a bunch. Uh, Henry over half a receiving yard first quarter, if you want to do that. Same kind of thing, very conservative plan.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Diggs, four plus receptions. They play zone most of the time, Seattle, and he's around five catches a game against teams that play zone. He's like ten, top ten, eleven receiver versus a zone. I would go with that. Uh, all right, you go. I'll catch my breath there.

• 55:58Bill Simmons?

  My favorite guy for this game, for this category is Matt Collins. Who became a really, really essential, important patriot who was on the field a lot because he's such a good blocker and became a trusted Drake guy and then got hurt and missed four games. Came back last week. He's 30 plus yards is even. 40 plus receiving yards from him is plus 188. 50 plus is plus 310. 70 plus is plus 750.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 56:26Bill Simmons?

  Let me read you some of the big games he's been in this year, in the second half of the year. Denver last week, two for 51. Baltimore, seven for 69. Buffalo, four for 41. Tampa, six for 106. Cleveland, seven for 89.

• 56:43Bill Simmons?

  I think my favorite out of all these is the 50, 50 plus yards for him, plus 310 is the one I would go with because I think he's going, if they fall behind, great for the bet.

• 56:57Bill Simmons?

  He usually has one big play if they're winning, so that's also good for that bet. Either way, in a weird way, I feel like he's kind of more reliable than Diggs. Diggs has been really hit or miss in these big games. He's been awesome, carried them in some games. Other games, like you forget he's out there.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:14Bill Simmons?

  And he doesn't play all the time either because they keep his snap count. Collins is going to be out there a lot.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  I do like Diggs to impregnate a cheerleader before halftime at 30 to one.

• 57:21Bill Simmons?

  I knew that was coming.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  Male cheerleader, 750 to one. I don't know.

• 57:25Bill Simmons?

  He only had four kids this year.

• 57:27Speaker 01

  Oh, that's it. All right. Your Matt Collins is my Kishon booty because I have him 90 plus yards at plus 880 and it's kind of the same reasoning as the Trevion Henderson thing, right? Like he busts big plays. He has longs of 39 twice. He has a long of 42, a long of 32, which puts him right in the mix. And if they do focus on Diggs.

• 57:51Bill Simmons?

  So you have 90 plus yards for him?

• 57:53Speaker 01

  90 plus is plus 880. Most receiving yards is plus 1300. Same rationale as Trey Henderson.

• 58:01Bill Simmons?

  Most receiving yards in the game?

• 58:02Speaker 01

  In the game, yeah. I know it's asking.

• 58:04Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  JSN.

• 58:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that would almost have to be an injury.

• 58:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:09Bill Simmons?

  I think the cup odds were interesting just because if they do the thing where they try to take out JSN, cups over is 32 and a half, 40 plus yards, plus 136, 50 plus, plus 225. He has to be out there a lot because he's such a good blocker.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:25Bill Simmons?

  And, uh, you know, he's trying to win a Super Bowl after the Rams gave him up. There's, I'm sure that'd be a huge story this week, how hurt he was. That the Rams, um, kind of cast him aside.

• 58:37Speaker 01

  If you're Cooper Cup, do you let loose that you might retire after this game? And then you get some MVP love and all that other stuff.

• 58:43Bill Simmons?

  Do that every year. Yeah. Once you're over 30 is a football person.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  We should say that for this prop thing. This is probably it, guys. We're going to retire after a year 19. This is it.

• 58:53Bill Simmons?

  I, I should start that.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:55Bill Simmons?

  This could be it. This might be the last time you get to enjoy us.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Never know.

• 58:58Bill Simmons?

  So you're favored out of all these as well. My personal favorite is 50 plus Matt Collins, plus 310. Your favorite is?

• 59:05Speaker 01

  I'm gonna go booty, uh, 90 plus at plus 880. That would be my favorite. Yeah. But there's a couple of Seattle guys too, like Halani over nine and a half receiving. Caught 27 last week for, you know, backfields all thinned out. Plus running backs, I think account for 25% of New England's allowed receptions, which is the third highest. You know, everyone's got Kenneth Walker over 20 and a half, so I don't love that as much, but he did have 78 in two playoff games. He did it five times before that. That's about it.

• 59:33Bill Simmons?

  I do feel good about our defensive line against, like, putting real pressure on Donalds. I think they kind of lucked out with who they played the last few weeks. And I thought the Rams defensive line was disappointing last week, but no Charbonne, who was their big pass pro guy.

• 59:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 59:49Bill Simmons?

  The fact that this guy, Halani, has to probably actually be out there at least, what, 25% of the snaps? So that might help your catch bet, um, if he's a better blocker. Defensive stuff really quickly. I mentioned Lawrence was plus 122 for a sack. Lawrence having a sack in each half was 10 to one. He only has six sacks on the year, so it's not as enticing as it looks.

• 1:00:14Bill Simmons?

  Interceptions, other than the Marcus Jones one. Woodson on the Pats, rookie safety, 24 years old. He's nine to one for a pick. I think he's been playing really well the last few weeks and he's always around the ball and he's either had a pick or dropped a pick.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:32Bill Simmons?

  I'm telling you, his hands are on the ball. That one jumped out to me and then Ernest Jones mentioned him earlier, 11 to one. On that little seven yarder over the middle that either gets tipped or Drake doesn't see the guy.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:00:43Bill Simmons?

  I thought those were my two favorite interception ones.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  I like, I think we load up on this category because this could be a sloppy game. We sort of like both players to throw an interception, maybe even more than that. So let's just take the best there is like, let's take Christian Gonzalez at plus 650. Red hot, had one against the Broncos. You know, if you think Darnold with 14 on the year is going to throw one, you might as well cover your bet with the.

• 1:01:07Bill Simmons?

  And six fumbles.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Bill Simmons?

  He's dying, he's dying to give us the ball.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  There you go. And so I like them, I like Emery on the other side for Seattle to take one. I think there could be like a safety blitz again, like they're gonna, they're gonna like, they're not going to leave anything, um, you know, left unfold. Like I, I feel like, I know he's against tight ends, he's not the best, but you know, uh, May already took 15 sacks. So if you can get plus 650, 640 for Emery, that's a sack actually, that's not for an interception, so.

• 1:01:37Bill Simmons?

  I like all the sack bets for Seattle for the odds of them, just based on the fact that the Patriots have been giving up sacks.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Bill Simmons?

  Entire playoffs.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:45Bill Simmons?

  Like even though Seattle had one, they're basically one sack a week the last couple of weeks, but maybe this is the week they break out. Some random stuff before we get to your really goofy stuff. No touchdown in the game is 175 to one.

• 1:01:59Bill Simmons?

  Double overtime is 100 to one on Fanduel.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:02:03Bill Simmons?

  A correct score repeat of the Malcolm Butler game, Patriots 28.

• 1:02:10Speaker 01

  Saw that.

• 1:02:10Bill Simmons?

  Seattle 24 is 350 to one.

• 1:02:15Bill Simmons?

  And then, uh, national anthem, national anthem as of right now, 119.5 seconds.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:22Bill Simmons?

  Minus 110. Okay. Take us through some of the wacky ones.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  Well, let me, let me just read a couple more that, uh, before we get to the, the pregame and everything else. Uh, I'm picking the game right now. I'm gonna say 3320 Seahawks at 250 to one. That, that Patriots score 20 points is 10 to one, 21 is 19 to one. I know you hate that.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Minus 500 that Chris Collinsworth calls the Seahawks blowout when a good old fashioned ash kicking. So that's gonna happen. Yeah, it's kicking.

• 1:02:53Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if he's heard, I've heard him say that before.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  He thinks they're gonna kick some ash.

• 1:02:58Bill Simmons?

  Bill, come on, I'm sorry. They're getting all kinds of ash, mate.

• 1:03:02Speaker 01

  Mate, you know, these guys are getting ash on the side, you know. This seemed mean, but Fandel put it up, Seattle who attempted to pass at the one is plus 650. That's a Malcolm Butler, you know, a nod. Like, I feel like this, if you're Pete Carroll, do you bet this as an emotional hedge? I just.

• 1:03:21Bill Simmons?

  Pete Carroll can't watch.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  He can't.

• 1:03:23Bill Simmons?

  He's not watching this.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  It's awful. Like, he's three and four, he takes his team to three and 14. He watches Geno Smith get ruined. He's 74 years old. That's your miserable swan song in the NFL. He's fired and disgraced. He wants to be left alone. Here's two more weeks of the Malcolm Butler play, followed by an uninspiring Raiders hire, which is gonna further, uh, remind you of, uh.

• 1:03:44Bill Simmons?

  Quinn Kubiak already has a job, apparently.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  That's right. I think that's it. Did that go, did that, uh, bust a break already?

• 1:03:50Bill Simmons?

  Would you hire the, would you hire a guy before you made sure he was good in the Super Bowl?

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  You know, that's not worked before, right? What was it? Was it the Philly one?

• 1:03:58Bill Simmons?

  Is he gonna be nervous to be aggressive in the Super Bowl or less nervous?

• 1:04:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, Donald's gonna throw eight interceptions now because, uh, because of this. Team that scored three times in a row, I'm not doing you any favors with the vig, minus 166. The Eagles scored six times in a row last year. The year before, the Chiefs scored three in a row. The Bengals did it in the Super Bowl out here with so far. This happened in four of the last six, 16 and 10 the last 26.

• 1:04:23Bill Simmons?

  The last two of the second quarter and then you also have the ball in the third quarter.

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  Maybe a field goal in there, kinda thing. I think this should be minus 220 or minus 230. Uh, let me see, sorry. Not, um.

• 1:04:36Bill Simmons?

  Did we mention the kicker props about like total number of points scored by the kickers? I always thought that was a good one.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:43Bill Simmons?

  There was one like the C. Well, Seattle, Seattle's kicker to have 10 points or more, that I thought there was good juice on that. I like that one.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  Did you have tie Patriots last week for Denver, the Denver game?

• 1:04:57Bill Simmons?

  That one.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  Didn't you and House have that?

• 1:04:58Bill Simmons?

  16 to one. We didn't, we didn't actually bet it in real life.

• 1:05:00Speaker 01

  You didn't make a big, big enough deal out of that. Yeah, it's also 16 to one if you like the Seahawks and a lot more if you want, uh, the Patriots.

• 1:05:07Bill Simmons?

  What is it for the Patriots?

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  Uh, I didn't look because they're not going to win. I didn't feel it mattered, but I will say.

• 1:05:12Bill Simmons?

  Such a dick.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  Pats over nine and a half second half is minus 128. Don't you like that a little bit in almost any case? Like they're a second half team, even if they have to come back, that's especially good.

• 1:05:25Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Oh, his second and third quarter seem to be the quarters. My quarterback shoulder might not work. Still positive.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  I'm ready for the, uh, I'm ready for the, the nonsensical stuff, the novelty props.

• 1:05:37Bill Simmons?

  Okay, go.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  Well, he said 119 and a half. This is Charlie Puth singing, right? I think he's friends with our, our buddy Daniel. So it'd be nice if we could find out what that is. But, um, this has gone under in three of the last four, three of the last seven though have come within seconds of this. So, and there's no evidence of, you know, usually you could go to YouTube seeing him do it. He played this on the piano in a minute and 13 seconds, but that's a bad indicator. So what I would rather do is last brave, home of the brave, that's held over, under three and a half seconds. I'm going over. This is your time to show off Charlie Puth, right? And I think, you know, it's tough because they'll say brave and then director almost always cuts to the fighter jets.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  And so you don't really know when the brave ends and you end up, uh, arguing with a guy from Antigua on the, on the phone, calling your Mr. Sol, trying to get your money back. But those are the old days. This is Fandel. They're going to pay up, uh, over three and a half. So there you go.

• 1:06:37Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that is, there was one time, I can't remember, we were watching together and we had no idea when the song actually ended because they cut to the flyaway. And we were like, what happened? Was there an extra second in there?

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  They're too loud, these fighter jets.

• 1:06:48Bill Simmons?

  Is there any way we can get inside information from PR agent of the stars, Louis K?

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  That would be nice. I mean, he steered us, uh, did he steer us right or wrong with this before?

• 1:06:58Bill Simmons?

  Steered us right twice.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  He did. Okay. He's freaking out.

• 1:07:01Bill Simmons?

  No, he did. And then he got really upset that we talked about it on a podcast. So we said we wouldn't do that again.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  We'll never do that again. But Louis, come on.

• 1:07:07Bill Simmons?

  Except for the two times he gave us winners. Yeah. Does he represent Charlie Puth?

• 1:07:12Speaker 01

  He should, just for this. You can lose him as a client after the game. Um, will a player or coach cry during the anthem?

• 1:07:20Bill Simmons?

  I saw this.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  I say no, plus 184. I think it's worth it. You need to see a visible tear running down the cheek. That's how it's explained on Fanduel. That's a pretty big threshold. What do you think?

• 1:07:34Bill Simmons?

  It's a tough one. I think in this social media era, you're going to fight off the tears more than you would in like 1990. Where you cry and it's just the moment comes and goes. Now, if you cry, you're a meme for the next two days potentially, especially if your team loses. I think you fight the tears off. I'm going no.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. I'm the same way. Like the, the one they go to was the Sirianni, like crying like a 12 year old at a Taylor Swift concert. But I don't think we see that again. I don't think, uh, I think, you know.

• 1:08:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Sirianni can't really be compared to other humans.

• 1:08:04Speaker 01

  Right. Right.

• 1:08:05Bill Simmons?

  Just in general.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  I would say no. Um, coin toss, tails heads minus 104. See if you can find a better vig than that. The winner of the coin toss, this was interesting, is 25 and 34 in the Super Bowl only.

• 1:08:18Bill Simmons?

  Is that true?

• 1:08:19Speaker 01

  If you're smart, you'll try to lose the coin toss. Uh, tails is 3128. Tails has won two of the last three years, eight of the last 12. The last time the Super Bowl was in Santa Clara, it came up tails. I'm going with tails. I wouldn't say it's never fails, but I think it's the pick. What do you got? You have to be on record. What are you saying?

• 1:08:38Bill Simmons?

  This is where you and I, both of whom love gambling, this is where we break. This is where I wave goodbye. I can't bet the coin toss. I just can't. And I don't care about the history of it. It's just, I did, I've lost it. It's just like, you might as well.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  You have to lose a thousand dollars before the game even starts to consider yourself a traditional.

• 1:08:58Bill Simmons?

  I was more excited there were bets about, at least on FanDuel Canada. There were bets on temperature of the game and it had these five degree radiuses, but it was all in Celsius. And even though I graduated with a master's degree, I couldn't understand the Celsius.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  I did the conversion. So it's between 16 to 20 degrees Celsius is minus 125. That's 61 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

• 1:09:23Bill Simmons?

  I think it's going to be lower. I think we're going to be in the high 50s. So what's that?

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  Really? Oh, I think that's a good range. I don't know. I think you get plus one 40 for the.

• 1:09:32Bill Simmons?

  That seems too good to be true. I mean, that'd be amazing for the Patriots. Drake May hasn't played a game in normal weather since like mid-November.

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  Can you tease that to 74 degrees plus 10 and a half?

• 1:09:43Bill Simmons?

  I'm going to ask Bando, can we tease the Patriots with the degrees? Tease it down to over 51 degrees.

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  There is a weird one.

• 1:09:51Bill Simmons?

  How do they know what the weather is a week from now? I've never understood that.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  Well, that's a big range though. They don't, they probably don't.

• 1:09:57Bill Simmons?

  Even last week, they were saying how, yeah, there might be some flurries in the second half. It was a fucking blizzard.

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  I've been betting on the weather for a while and it gives me an excuse to go outside. I do kind of like it. I do like betting on the weather.

• 1:10:09Bill Simmons?

  This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun, sometimes earlier than expected? Sometimes after blowing a 3-1 series lead, but what if you went to Cancun? With Expedia, save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun. 1-2-3 Cancun. Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save. Savings vary. All right, quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV. You ever sit down, ready to watch the game, only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV. It shows you are live games from your favorite teams all in one place, right on the home screen. No more searching.

• 1:10:52Bill Simmons?

  Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  Um, there is a weird one that the coin is flipped and it gets lodged in JSN's throat, rendering him ineligible for the game. Pats get so lucky. That's plus 250. Um, Cardi B, how many times they show her?

• 1:11:17Bill Simmons?

  Odds are she's with Kraft.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  I would think at this point.

• 1:11:21Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if they're gonna go less Kraft camera time. Or if they'll be the same amount of camera time. Uh, I think they show her at least four times.

• 1:11:30Speaker 01

  Really? Oh, wow. It's, it's.

• 1:11:31Bill Simmons?

  What is the over under?

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  It's only one and a half.

• 1:11:34Bill Simmons?

  Oh, over.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  Over. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm gonna hit that.

• 1:11:37Bill Simmons?

  She's, she's sang on SNL.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:40Bill Simmons?

  She's huge right now.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  They'll show her. All right. Does she wear Stephon Diggs jersey? Yes, it's plus 170. Or does she have like an outfit change?

• 1:11:47Bill Simmons?

  It could be like a Chrome Hearts type of specially made Stephon Diggs jersey that has like.

• 1:11:53Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:11:53Bill Simmons?

  Stuff on it. I could see that.

• 1:11:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, I could see that.

• 1:11:58Speaker 01

  All right.

• 1:11:58Bill Simmons?

  It's a bad luck, though.

• 1:12:00Speaker 01

  Uh, no, I actually think she does wear it. You know, she's also like minus 250 to appear with Bad Bunny. So that, that could happen too. So you might see, uh, she has two opportunities to wear the jersey. Uh, Gatorade, I know you don't love this. Orange plus 230.

• 1:12:15Bill Simmons?

  No, I like this more than the coin toss.

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  Okay. Orange plus 230, blue plus 250, yellow lime green. You get all three for plus 260. Um, yellow, green last year, one with the Eagles, plus 260. Orange, way too chalky at plus 230 for something that's happened once in eight years. Uh, but go ahead. What were you gonna say?

• 1:12:35Bill Simmons?

  Does it have to be the Gatorade for both teams? Is it the same color on each sideline? I can't remember.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't think so. No, I think that was always a thing. Like this team might go one way, this team the other.

• 1:12:48Bill Simmons?

  Cause if it's the Seahawks, they're gonna go yellow lime green, right? That goes with the jerseys. If the Patriots, probably like a blue or a red.

• 1:12:57Speaker 01

  I've been wrong about all this almost every year and I love it. I love going with it, but what about?

• 1:13:02Bill Simmons?

  It's the last bet of the game. Like the game's over at that point. This is it. It's our farewell. Other than the guy crying on the podium.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  Well, that, I'll get to that in a second, but plus 1100 for water slash clear. I like that. 17 years ago, water slash clear at a four-year run. So, um, people are health conscious now. I kinda like that at, uh, plus 1100. That would be my pick.

• 1:13:26Bill Simmons?

  Is there a bet for the Pats winning and Vrabel doing the can you dig it on the podium? Cause they've embraced this whole Warriors movie thing.

• 1:13:34Speaker 01

  I haven't seen it.

• 1:13:35Bill Simmons?

  I don't know if you've been following this. Yeah, they, cause they've been the road warriors. They're nine and O in the road. This will be their 10th road win. And they're really pushing this road thing. Matt Collins came in last week. He was doing the bottles. The only thing they haven't really done yet is the can you dig it? Cyrus's famous speech.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  Right. Okay. If that happens, put odds on me not doing the podcast that because you're gonna have to tag Joe House and emotionally I'm not gonna be able to do it.

• 1:13:59Bill Simmons?

  Next week, no matter who wins, we're not going live until after the podium. Cause I actually like some of the, yeah, after like the first two and then we'll come up.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  It's fun. Alright, so the very last thing to bet on is the MVP who he thanks, right? God is minus 290, teammates plus 210. And listen, let me just say something. I'm happy for everyone who thanks Jesus. It's great that faith is such a strong presence in their lives. But if God is as great as everyone wants him or her to be, then they have to forgive you for not mentioning them first when you're handed the MVP award. Your teammates though, who risked their lives getting their heads bashed in for 21 weeks and are right there next to you, may not be as forgiving. If they're not mentioned and you're standing right next to them, I would say plus 210 for teammates. Hopefully this sinks in.

• 1:14:48Bill Simmons?

  So it's teammates plus 210, God is who is what?

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  God is who is a very tough question.

• 1:14:54Bill Simmons?

  No, God, what are the odds on God?

• 1:14:55Speaker 01

  Minus 290 for God.

• 1:14:57Bill Simmons?

  Anybody else in there? Coach?

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  There is coach. Wait, hold on. Let me see if I can find it.

• 1:15:02Bill Simmons?

  Cause Drake May is a wild card to thank his brothers first. He's very close to his brothers. He's the youngest brother.

• 1:15:07Speaker 01

  God, religious figure, minus 290, teammates plus 210, family plus 1260. That's who you like for Drake May? Fans 18 to one.

• 1:15:15Bill Simmons?

  Drake would go teammates first. And I think Sam Darnold would too, unless he uses the opportunity to tell the Vikings to fuck off, which I don't think he would do.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  Interesting. That's not in there. Nobody thanks the coach. That's 20, that's the longest shot at 25 to one, even like, even Kraft would get 18 to one if that happened.

• 1:15:34Bill Simmons?

  Oh, our special guest is here for parent corner.

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  Oh, he is.

• 1:15:38Bill Simmons?

  Jimmy Kimmel.

• 1:15:41Bill Simmons?

  Hey, Jim.

• 1:15:44Bill Simmons?

  I know, I was gonna tell you to log in, but it worked and we're live on Netflix. So we came to edit this. Hey.

• 1:15:50Speaker 02

  I've been, you know, I've been saying to Ted Sarandos, I said, would you please bring public access television to the platform?

• 1:15:57Bill Simmons?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:15:59Speaker 02

  And here we are.

• 1:16:02Speaker 02

  It's even worse. In public access, you'd, you'd go to a place, you'd go to a studio.

• 1:16:07Bill Simmons?

  We're in 4K, baby.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Yelling at the kids to be quiet.

• 1:16:13Bill Simmons?

  Wait, Sal was just going through the props and there's a Super Bowl, is it the MVP?

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, so the MVP thanks first, Jimmy. What would, what would you think?

• 1:16:24Bill Simmons?

  On the podium, and you could go teammates, you can go God, you can go coach, you can go family and friends, whatever.

• 1:16:30Speaker 02

  Who do we think the MVP is gonna be, just to start with?

• 1:16:33Bill Simmons?

  The easiest is to either quarterback. Both of them, we think would go teammates first.

• 1:16:37Speaker 02

  Oh, you think so?

• 1:16:38Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:16:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:39Speaker 01

  God is the big favorite at minus 290.

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, God's always the big favorite, isn't he? He kinda has some control over this too. I would, I guess I would go with God. I'd have to go with God.

• 1:16:49Speaker 01

  Go with God. Go ahead, go.

• 1:16:52Bill Simmons?

  Throw God in a parlay? Can God, can we put God in the same game parlay?

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  By the way, I'm looking at this.

• 1:16:58Bill Simmons?

  God.

• 1:16:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. Bowen Yang is 35 to one. I don't know why anyone would.

• 1:17:02Bill Simmons?

  To be thanked?

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know why anyone would thank him, but he is a.

• 1:17:05Speaker 02

  Here's one for you. What, what, you know, what are the numbers as far as, um, will Aaron Rodgers apologizing, apologize for suggesting that I was in the Epstein box?

• 1:17:18Bill Simmons?

  Probably like 10 to 1.

• 1:17:21Bill Simmons?

  He hasn't apologized yet. We're still waiting on that one.

• 1:17:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for that and his wife. Yeah.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  Can I, listen, I don't wanna put a pin in it, Jimmy, but there are still a million documents out there. So you are not nearly in the.

• 1:17:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe I'm an all million.

• 1:17:34Bill Simmons?

  Clear yet.

• 1:17:37Bill Simmons?

  What was the other? So we had, how many times will they show Cardi B was another prop?

• 1:17:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:42Bill Simmons?

  Cause she's gonna be there on behalf of Stefan Diggs.

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:45Bill Simmons?

  And the over under is one and a half. I went way over. I think they show her at least four times.

• 1:17:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's gotta be over one and a half. It's gotta be two, right? It's gotta be two.

• 1:17:54Bill Simmons?

  At least one's a half.

• 1:17:56Speaker 02

  It didn't count if she performs, do they? Is that part of the?

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  It's during the, uh, oh, man, I have to look.

• 1:18:02Bill Simmons?

  Oh, that's interesting. That would be a, that would be, yeah, I don't, I think that should count.

• 1:18:08Speaker 01

  I think it's from kickoff to the end of the game. I think it is.

• 1:18:10Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that counts. If she's a cameo.

• 1:18:13Speaker 02

  How do they keep this stuff so quiet as far as who's gonna perform? I mean, there have to be a thousand people in that stadium rehearsing. Like, how did they keep this quiet?

• 1:18:22Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's why the couple of the years when our friend Louis K was working.

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:27Bill Simmons?

  And he was feeding us illegally stuff that we could gamble on. We got very upset that we talked about it on the podcast.

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  He did.

• 1:18:36Bill Simmons?

  We told him not to, that we wouldn't do that again, but I guess I just asked him.

• 1:18:39Speaker 01

  He's usually so rah rah about these things. Like, yeah, go ahead, go with God.

• 1:18:43Speaker 02

  Is he repping, is he repping Bad Bunny now too?

• 1:18:45Bill Simmons?

  Well, that's what, we wanted him to try to sign Charlie Puth before Sunday to see, cause then we would find out the national anthem is 119.5 seconds.

• 1:18:54Speaker 02

  That's right. Doesn't our friend Daniel know Charlie Puth?

• 1:18:57Speaker 01

  I said that. I know.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  Can we get word to?

• 1:19:01Bill Simmons?

  He does know.

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  He knows everybody.

• 1:19:02Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he knows. Sal, the only bet before we do a special mega edition of Parent Corner, the only bet you didn't do was the Gary Russell memorial prop.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  Let's do it.

• 1:19:12Bill Simmons?

  So we, can we do that with Jimmy? Jimmy, you know the story. Did, we did this bet.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Can I set it up?

• 1:19:17Speaker 02

  I'll set it up.

• 1:19:17Bill Simmons?

  Set it up. You do it.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  All right. So Gary Russell, so every year I come on this podcast, the week before the Super Bowl and try to pick an obscure player to do something positive, right? So it's usually like a backup tight end to catch a pass for a half a yard. And I've won with some no names like Henry Hanowski and Fozzy Whitaker. I usually lose, but the first year we did this, actually Jimmy, we watched the Super Bowl at your house. It was Pittsburgh versus Arizona and it was 17 years ago tonight. It was February 1st, 2009.

• 1:19:46Bill Simmons?

  What an anniversary. Haven't seen it in newspapers or anything. Yeah.

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  Happy anniversary, Gary Russell. So I had Gary Russell. To not score a touchdown, minus 140. He was a backup running back, Steelers running back to fast Willie Parker. His first carry inside the two, he lost four yards. I was like, they can't go back to him. Well, they did. I was like, give it to fast Willie. No, they gave it to Gary Russell, touchdown.

• 1:20:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  And as legend has it.

• 1:20:15Bill Simmons?

  It was an actual long email that we got, that I got.

• 1:20:19Speaker 01

  From a man, he says he, he and a woman were at a Super Bowl party. They didn't know each other. They noticed that the other was laughing after the Gary Russell touchdown. And they got to talking and there were fans of the podcast. I'm like, oh, is it because, because it's Al? But yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, they hook up, they end up getting married because of this prop. So happy 17th anniversary, or more likely, sorry about the divorce. Right? Is that how it goes with this?

• 1:20:44Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. It's, it's either a happy memory or a terrible memory for them, but it's one or the other. Yeah.

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 1:20:50Bill Simmons?

  Led to a marriage.

• 1:20:52Speaker 02

  I'm trying to imagine a woman sitting through this show and listening to plus 165, plus 238. It's not adding up to me. I don't know what's going on there, but happy anniversary.

• 1:21:02Bill Simmons?

  He's just taking shots at us.

• 1:21:03Speaker 01

  They love public access. Women don't listen to us.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  We have Obama listening to this and the next segment coming up.

• 1:21:11Bill Simmons?

  Barry O's listening to us.

• 1:21:13Speaker 02

  That's true. Did I tell that story last time?

• 1:21:15Bill Simmons?

  You did, you told the story.

• 1:21:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:17Bill Simmons?

  He's probably not listening anymore.

• 1:21:18Speaker 02

  I was more excited about that than either one of you. I don't know.

• 1:21:24Speaker 02

  It really was. I couldn't wait to get out of the room.

• 1:21:28Bill Simmons?

  Listening.

• 1:21:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Probably.

• 1:21:30Bill Simmons?

  So Sal, what do you have? What do you have for this year?

• 1:21:33Speaker 01

  Let me just say, it's been tougher and tougher to come up with these because we know all the backups. We know some of the third strings, but I think I came across a doozy, which is really going to turn some heads here. Here we go. Drum roll, please. Cahill for my Gary Russell annual prop pick of the year. Here we go. Brady Russell, Seahawks fullback to score a touchdown at 40 to one odds. Now, you might say, is he related to Gary Russell?

• 1:22:02Bill Simmons?

  I didn't even know who that was.

• 1:22:04Speaker 01

  He is not related to Gary Russell. He's wider than a sheet and he has long hair. But just the fact that his name is Brady Russell, perhaps one and two in Boston sports legends, and the Patriots didn't sign this guy at the University of Colorado. This is payback for Brady Russell. How do the Patriots not sign a guy?

• 1:22:26Bill Simmons?

  He should be on the team.

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  This is like Seattle having a guy named Marshawn Griffey Jr. And like, the Patriots.

• 1:22:33Bill Simmons?

  Or New England having it.

• 1:22:34Speaker 01

  Yes, that's right.

• 1:22:35Bill Simmons?

  Plus, his last name is Russell, tying back to the 17th anniversary of our guy Gary Russell.

• 1:22:39Speaker 01

  Right. No relation.

• 1:22:40Bill Simmons?

  Brady Russell.

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  So I think Clint Kubiak, now the Raiders coach, or in eight days, whatever, switched him from tight end to fullback. Couple issues. He only has one target this year and his hand is kind of injured, I think from the one target. But I think he gets a handoff at the goal line. You don't want to go through any of that nonsense again like Pete Carroll did with the, right? This guy gets the handoff. Brady Russell touchdown, lives in infamy. 40 to one odds. Go get it. Put it in on Fanduel right now.

• 1:23:10Bill Simmons?

  I think Fanduel should promote this as a special bet. See, you'll have Seahawks to win with Brady Russell. And that would be like, I don't know, 60 to one or something. I like it.

• 1:23:20Speaker 02

  I'd be curious to see what happens to the numbers now that you've mentioned it. It's, I mean, you got to get that bet in fast, right?

• 1:23:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. It's out, it's out. Just changed the Brady Russell market.

• 1:23:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Fanduel is loving this, by the way.

• 1:23:34Speaker 02

  He's the only one making that bet.

• 1:23:36Bill Simmons?

  That's great.

• 1:23:37Speaker 01

  It's all free money. There you go. Brady Russell, do it.

• 1:23:39Bill Simmons?

  We brought you on for Parent Corner. You came on at the start of the football season and your son. Your son Billy, quite a character, is still in his apex mountain for parent corner. This is the sweet spot when the kids are really the little boys between eight and 10. I think are, I think that's.

• 1:23:59Speaker 02

  The funniest age.

• 1:24:00Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, some people might say six to 10, but the second half of their first decade is when the comedy really comes, comes on. So we haven't seen you in a couple of months. You're going to tell us some Billy stories.

• 1:24:11Speaker 02

  Well, he's very, he's still very focused on his penis, you know, he's still all about the penis. And we, we showed the kids Happy Gilmore, which they'd never seen before.

• 1:24:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:21Speaker 02

  Hey, you know, it's one of those things like, should we show this to them? She's this, you know, I was like, you know, I'm going to show them. And now, you know, that montage where Happy Gilmore's got the, you know, gas pump between his legs, everything's a penis, you know?

• 1:24:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:34Speaker 02

  Billy does that now all the time. Is anything cylindrical is a penis, you know, chopsticks, uh, pool noodles, broomsticks, whatever. Hot dogs, carrots, he's got them all sticking out of his pants and he walks around. He's really a lot like Sal. I mean, like sometimes I just say to Molly, like, what, what happened? Was it, tell me the truth.

• 1:24:57Speaker 02

  Something happened with Sal because he's much more like Sal as a child than he was like me. And Sal is an inexplicable child. Like I could never, ever Simmons, you don't even, whatever you've seen from Sal, multiply it by 40 to one. By Brady Russell. And that's what Sal was like when he was a kid. But Billy's got this super weird thing. And this is, it was a very Sal type of thing. Like he'll walk in the room. And his penis is out. Like he's got to either like, like kind of up over his, the elastic of his pants or just flat out. And we'll see him, we'll go, all right, all right, all right. Put your penis away. And he's like, what do you mean? And I was like, just come on, put your penis, put your penis away. It's like, my penis isn't out.

• 1:25:40Speaker 02

  And all right, that's funny. Put your penis away. He will keep it up till he is crying. He will be like, why are you saying this? My penis isn't out. It's just, penis is out.

• 1:25:55Bill Simmons?

  It's just there.

• 1:25:56Speaker 02

  Penis theater.

• 1:25:58Speaker 02

  So he's praying at night. He's weirdly religious. Like I find on my YouTube subscription, all these Jesus like channels.

• 1:26:06Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 1:26:06Speaker 02

  What's really?

• 1:26:10Bill Simmons?

  Did you tell him about the Super Bowl prop for minus 290 for God? You gotta get him in on that.

• 1:26:14Speaker 01

  Who is Billy thing first?

• 1:26:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:16Speaker 02

  He says, and I've written some of these things down. So I can remember this says, thank you, God for my squiggly wiggly and my two big ones. That's his balls. He has nicknames for it. He says, he names his penis. It changes every three days. Is this, right now it's Jiggly Birkenstock Jake is his penis's name.

• 1:26:36Bill Simmons?

  Like it.

• 1:26:37Speaker 02

  We bought him a wet suit so we could go in the ocean in the wintertime and um, he just immediately peed in it, like immediately before he even got in the ocean.

• 1:26:47Speaker 02

  He folded his penis up, like, you know, kind of tuck fold type of situation and he walks in the room. He it's a and uh, you know, we're in there and my daughter's in there. He goes, Jane, you have a little sister.

• 1:27:04Speaker 02

  He also would really like my wife.

• 1:27:06Bill Simmons?

  Sound southern libs.

• 1:27:07Speaker 02

  He really wants Molly to touch his penis. He want, I mean, he's just constantly going, fight it, touch it. Mom, squish my pickle. And Molly doesn't, you know, she doesn't go for any of this stuff. She and blamed me for all that.

• 1:27:20Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:27:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this is Game of Thrones at my work. That's about it.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  He also will um, squeeze Molly's butt and he does it to us too, but Molly the most. He like, it's like um, like a stress ball for him or something. And um, like before he leaves for school, he um, he'll double back and he'll squeeze her with with both hands. And he says, uh, I gotta save that up for the whole day.

• 1:27:49Speaker 02

  So now, and I don't know if I told you guys about this, but he's.

• 1:27:54Speaker 02

  He walked, we were in a hotel and he walked in on us. Um, it's pitch black. It's, it's late at night and just in as we're about to make up.

• 1:28:05Bill Simmons?

  Wow, I'm so glad that's still happening.

• 1:28:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Well, we weren't sure that, we didn't know what he saw because it hadn't happened yet, you know, but um, it, we weren't sure what he saw and we were hoping that he wouldn't remember in the morning, like he was kind of sleepwalking or whatever because we wound up like walking him back to his bed.

• 1:28:24Bill Simmons?

  No chance.

• 1:28:25Speaker 02

  Walking him back to his bed. I had to uh, like flip the other way, but he didn't remember in the morning and we were relieved that he didn't remember, but then three days later, we're sitting at breakfast and he goes, his sister again, he goes, oh Jane, I forgot to tell you something. And Molly and I immediately knew what he was gonna tell her. And he starts telling her and we started like,

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  it's like, what? What? And Jane's like angry at us and mortified.

• 1:28:53Bill Simmons?

  Oh my god.

• 1:28:54Speaker 02

  I immediately know something is going on. And now he brings it up, just like out of the blue. Once every like 11 or 12 days, he bring, he just brings it up and he goes, and I know what you did. He'll, he'll say, when we, we told him we were hugging.

• 1:29:12Bill Simmons?

  I know what you did?

• 1:29:13Speaker 02

  And he doesn't believe, oh yeah, he was like, he doesn't believe in it at all and neither one of them believes us now and he'll threaten to bring it up around other people. He's like, well, if you do that, I'm gonna tell, you know, like I'm gonna tell grandma. Well, you were like, don't you not talk about this? And then the other night, he's got this uh, stuffed animal and he's like, kind of like, he's laying down and he's got this stuffed animal like on top of him and he's just kind of like bouncing the animal up and down and he says, um, this is what you did to dad.

• 1:29:45Speaker 02

  He's terrorizing us with this.

• 1:29:48Bill Simmons?

  This is unbelievable. I saw when, when we came to your first show, when you returned and Billy was there wreaking havoc for five minutes. And I looked over at Sal and I've never seen Sal happier and more proud.

• 1:30:01Speaker 02

  It's the greatest.

• 1:30:02Bill Simmons?

  Like he had watched a trained assassin take assassin warfare to another level. He was so delighted.

• 1:30:08Speaker 02

  Oh, he, I had to explain to him, like, when you come to my work, that is not, it's not so you can scare people. Cause he likes to do is just like hide in the closet and just jump out and scare people, everyone at work. And, you know, no one's used to this. And then no one could say anything. Cause it's my kid. It's so, it makes it extra horrible, you know?

• 1:30:27Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, they just have to endure it.

• 1:30:28Speaker 02

  Outside, he was outside, um, just outside the house, like right outside the house. And he's playing with Jane and he says, I have to poop. And Jane said, poop in the bush. And next thing you know, he is pooping in the bush.

• 1:30:45Bill Simmons?

  Oh, my Lord.

• 1:30:46Speaker 02

  Of course, our house, that was when our housekeeper decided to come up the stairs.

• 1:30:52Bill Simmons?

  No.

• 1:30:54Speaker 02

  He's very particular about what he wears. Um, we will lay out clothes for him every night so we can get going in the morning. And every morning he chooses an entirely different outfit. He dresses like a cat burglar. He's in all black. He's got a hoodie on. He's like the burglar in the, um, security company commercials, you know, that's what he looks like. He looks like, um, he dresses like he's one of, part of one of those roving gang, uh, Chilean gangs who break into celebrities homes. He's got all black on and then he's got a gold chain, you know?

• 1:31:29Speaker 02

  And he loves NBA stuff, you know, it's all LeBron and you know, whatever he loves all, and he likes Messi too. Even though we've never watched a moment of soccer on television, but he likes the, the merchandising part of it. And sometimes at night, we hear him talking and he's talking to Alexa. He's got a little, one of those Alexa devices right next to his, his bedside. And he asks Alexa, these are real questions that he has asked Alexa. Uh, personally, he asks her about the weather, like more than an 85 year old man, just like seven times a day.

• 1:32:01Bill Simmons?

  That sounds like your dad.

• 1:32:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. He asked Alexa, he said, Alexa, if it was negative zero outside and I was naked, how long could I survive?

• 1:32:12Speaker 02

  There's a lot of questions about natural disasters, about tornadoes, if they ever come to California. When is an earthquake coming? And he says, can I ask Alexa? Alexa, how big is your butt? You know, that kind of stuff. And then Alexa. It is funny listening to Alexa answer these questions.

• 1:32:29Bill Simmons?

  Does Alexa uprate him or get mad, or does she try to answer?

• 1:32:33Speaker 02

  She says, I wish I could answer a question like that, but you know, she gets in a whole routine. And he's crazy about the iPad. They both are nuts. Like, kids don't need any more toys. And there are no other toys necessary. It's just all in the, in the iPad, you know?

• 1:32:50Bill Simmons?

  It's so true. You don't need Legos, any of that stuff anymore. That, that era is gone.

• 1:32:54Speaker 02

  Molly's mother fainted and had to go to the hospital and Molly was like, I'm gonna, was gonna leave. She was gonna go to the hospital and the kids were upset and Billy was upset and he said, do you think to help take our minds off it, we could have iPad time?

• 1:33:12Bill Simmons?

  Oh my God. He's so smart.

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  So Sal, I don't know if I told you this, but on New Year's Eve, we were, um, we were planning to go to Sal's house. Sal usually has a party at the house, but like everyone else out of town. And Sal wasn't planning to have a party, but we just assumed there was gonna be one. So then Sal was like, uh, yeah, you guys could come or it's like, all right, we'll stay at home. So we, we're at home and we decide that we're gonna watch Happy Gilmore two, the four of us, you know, in bed, New Year's Eve. And we are, you know, this is, this was a bad year, 2025. We are anxious to see it go. And I don't know what I had, why I had it in my head that once it was over, it would like, then we'd have a good year or something like that.

• 1:33:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, but we're, we're ready for it to be done. And, um, and I swear to God, this is exactly as it happened. We watched the movie. We watched the nine o'clock ball in New York, you know, we watched the ball come down.

• 1:34:09Speaker 02

  We're up a little while. Billy goes in the bathroom. We're in bed. And then Billy comes back into the room and he goes,

• 1:34:17Speaker 02

  there are worms in my poop.

• 1:34:20Speaker 02

  And I say, what? He's like, there were worms in my poop. You know, I don't know if he's joking or whatever. And I go in the bathroom and I look in the toilet and sure enough, there are a whole bunch of white little worms, pinworms in, which I guess is a common thing, but none of my kids ever had this before.

• 1:34:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:40Speaker 02

  And that's how we rang in the new, that's how we ended 2025.

• 1:34:44Bill Simmons?

  See, I would count that toward 2025.

• 1:34:47Speaker 02

  It is, it is part of 2025.

• 1:34:49Bill Simmons?

  I think that's, that's thrown in the 2025 pile.

• 1:34:52Speaker 02

  We made the mistake of thinking we were in the clear by 10pm, but it turned out we weren't.

• 1:34:56Bill Simmons?

  So yeah, you can really count 1201 as the official new start. So worms, how did you, how did you fix that? Was there like?

• 1:35:03Speaker 02

  Well, you get like this, you have to drink this banana flavored poison and everyone in the house has to drink it. And you got to change all the sheets. And so I was, I don't know how I got this job, but every night for the next week, I practically boiled the sheets on the sanitary setting on the thing and then had to change all three beds every night.

• 1:35:26Bill Simmons?

  You should have lied to him and said, he got the worms because he pooped in the bush.

• 1:35:31Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:35:32Speaker 02

  There was too much time between, and you know what? You really, I wasn't thinking on my feet at the time. I was just like, I really just wanted to scream like, what is happening here?

• 1:35:42Bill Simmons?

  I remember our kids got lice and that seemed horrible, but the worms in the poop is like 20 times worse.

• 1:35:47Speaker 02

  We've had lice too.

• 1:35:48Speaker 01

  Now I feel bad. If I had had a New Year's party, we would have had the worms in my toilet.

• 1:35:53Bill Simmons?

  Right. And you would be washing your sheets.

• 1:35:56Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:35:56Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:57Speaker 02

  So we took the kids to their first Kings game, the hockey game. And they didn't really want to go. They didn't know what it was or, you know, weren't interested, but I knew they would like it. We had tickets, we had good tickets that are right on the glass. And my daughter said, I don't want to see the players fight. You know, she really don't want to see any fighting. And of course, by the second period, the players were fighting and she's screaming punch him in the face.

• 1:36:24Bill Simmons?

  You get intoxicated immediately.

• 1:36:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, immediately. And then they put me on the Jumbotron and Billy was sitting next to me. And so Billy, now this is, I don't know if you guys know about this, but little boys are, they instantly, I mean, like Billy, like you can't get him to talk to an adult, you know, like other than family members, you know, he barely, he's shy, you know, he won't, he's crazy when he's not around adults, but like he's, he's pretty shy in, in public. But man, when he was, that camera went on him and he was up on the Jumbotron. He, he turned into Cardi B and Bad Bunny and Bruno Mars and Dancing Barry all combined. I mean, he's just, he's twerking. He's going crazy. He's doing the whole thing. The audience starts getting excited.

• 1:37:13Speaker 02

  And, um, and then.

• 1:37:14Bill Simmons?

  There's something about that Jumbotron because they, the NBA league passed this year when they go to commercial, they don't show ads. They just show the people in the, in the stadium of the Jumbotron and they all do it when they're on camera. They like, it's like they lose their minds.

• 1:37:27Speaker 02

  It's one thing to be an adult and to do it, but, but when you, I mean, I, these kids come out of the womb knowing that when you're on the Jumbotron, it's.

• 1:37:34Bill Simmons?

  If you're seven and up, you just have to start acting crazy.

• 1:37:37Speaker 01

  How worried are you at that point that he's going to pull out his penis on the Jumbotron?

• 1:37:40Speaker 02

  A little bit, but also, also hoping it happens, you know?

• 1:37:46Speaker 02

  It's, I'm right in the, I'm sitting right in the middle, you know?

• 1:37:50Speaker 01

  More games.

• 1:37:51Speaker 02

  Jane was mad though. Jane said, I'm sick of him getting all the perks.

• 1:37:57Speaker 02

  And then Molly said to Jane, uh, she said, one of the Kings players was cute. And Jane said, I'm not into adult men being cute, but you go wild.

• 1:38:10Bill Simmons?

  So she's at that stage now?

• 1:38:13Speaker 02

  She's in that stage.

• 1:38:14Bill Simmons?

  Sassy. I remember that one.

• 1:38:16Speaker 02

  Sal, I, I teased this for you, um, this afternoon.

• 1:38:19Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:38:20Speaker 02

  Sal and I went to the, um, we should have tricked your father into going to that anti ICE march today. Told him it was like a Dodgers parade or something like that, because that would have been great. He would have been very unhappy.

• 1:38:33Bill Simmons?

  They're having a second Dodgers parade.

• 1:38:35Speaker 01

  Whatever the, uh, whatever Billy's reaction was on the Jumbotron, that would have been very, very opposite for my father. Yeah.

• 1:38:43Speaker 02

  I wonder how long it would have taken him to figure it out.

• 1:38:48Speaker 02

  So Jane, this is a question that Jane asked Molly and Molly wrote it down. And Jane said, and this is a very, I don't know what's going on if they're giving her gummies at school, but she said, Mom, have you ever thought that maybe everyone is a robot? We're all robots except for three people? And Molly said, what, three people? And Jane said Jackie Boo, which is our one year old nephew, Uncle Sal and Aunt Chippy.

• 1:39:13Bill Simmons?

  Yes.

• 1:39:15Speaker 02

  Obviously. And Molly said, why are those three the only ones that aren't robots? And Jane said, because Jackie Boo is just a butterball and he's too round and cute. And no way any robot gambles as much as Sal and Aunt Chippy. It would explode a robot. All that smoke Aunt Chippy from Aunt Chippy would kill a robot.

• 1:39:39Bill Simmons?

  Unbelievable.

• 1:39:40Speaker 01

  I love it. I love it.

• 1:39:45Bill Simmons?

  She calls you Uncle Sal.

• 1:39:46Speaker 02

  Even knows this.

• 1:39:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're all uncle and aunt's all the, yeah.

• 1:39:50Bill Simmons?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:39:51Speaker 01

  I know, it could be cousin. I know. Yeah.

• 1:39:53Speaker 02

  You know, this segment is limited, I think, because

• 1:39:58Speaker 02

  you know, your kids are getting older, like Bill's, your kids are adults and Sally, you know.

• 1:40:02Bill Simmons?

  That's where we've had a lot of trouble.

• 1:40:04Speaker 01

  Bill struggles. Yeah. I have a 12 year old still. Yeah. Bill.

• 1:40:08Bill Simmons?

  Parents are not gonna live forever. Carrying us. I know Harrison's carrying us.

• 1:40:11Speaker 01

  Parents and dogs is Simmons go to now. I mean, I don't blame him.

• 1:40:16Speaker 02

  This segment is more endangered than late night television.

• 1:40:21Speaker 02

  But I will leave you on my parents who drove me completely insane today.

• 1:40:28Bill Simmons?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:40:28Speaker 02

  My mother.

• 1:40:29Bill Simmons?

  I suppose that every other day?

• 1:40:31Speaker 02

  I mean, just like, it's just like, well, listen, we marched in a line. We went from one end, the one pier to the next pier and back. There was no chance of anyone getting lost, but they're just the phone call. Where are you? What, what street? You know, it's like, just keep walking in the line.

• 1:40:46Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:40:46Speaker 02

  And then forgetting where my house is, you know, and it's like, just come to the house. And she's like, I went to 35th street. I'm like, there isn't a 35th street. There's no way you went to 35th street. And then I can't leave it alone, you know?

• 1:40:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:59Speaker 02

  But the fight they had today, they had a really loud fight at the house and. The fight was about, so they went to um a music recital for one of the children in our family. And apparently J Lo's kid goes to this school. And J Lo's kid was in the recital and they were telling us how good the kid was. Kid was really good, right? And um then they were talking about the fact that they were um interested in the fact that J Lo has like a big SUV that picks her up. This to them this seemed unusual, right?

• 1:41:37Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:41:37Speaker 02

  And then they had a yelling fight about whether J Lo's car had a loud engine or as my father said, the car behind that car had a loud engine.

• 1:41:50Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:41:51Speaker 02

  And you were yelling at each other about, no, it was her car. No, it was, no, it was a car. It was, it's a, uh, uh, uh, it was a race car behind her. That, no, it was her car. And they're fighting, fighting. Molly finally stopped, stopped him. She goes, guys, I hate when you fight about J Lo's car.

• 1:42:10Bill Simmons?

  Oh, no.

• 1:42:14Speaker 01

  You're only robots anyway. Leave it alone.

• 1:42:16Bill Simmons?

  You're not real.

• 1:42:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:42:18Speaker 01

  Wow. That's great. That's great. Wow.

• 1:42:22Bill Simmons?

  Do you want to do a quick one?

• 1:42:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:42:24Bill Simmons?

  Incredible. That was like seven parent corners.

• 1:42:26Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, I can't top that. That's good.

• 1:42:28Bill Simmons?

  You don't have a, there was a youth sports thing this week?

• 1:42:31Speaker 02

  Save it for the Super Bowl, you know?

• 1:42:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:33Bill Simmons?

  I have to tell a quick story about my dad.

• 1:42:35Speaker 02

  Okay, good.

• 1:42:36Bill Simmons?

  You know, a massive blizzard in Boston. Massive. Like shut down, like you're not gonna be able to get food anywhere, like whatever you have, you got a stockpile. And my stepmother was out of town. So everyone snowed in for like two days and my daughter is in college in Boston. So she goes to see my dad like a day or so after the blizzard, opens his fridge and he has six venti iced coffees in there and then all this food from this place, Abe and Louis'. And so she's like, why do you have, I don't understand, why do you have six coffees? And he claimed he tried to offer, order.

• 1:43:15Bill Simmons?

  Um, one coffee and didn't think it went through and did it six times. They brought him a whole bunch of coffees. We're not buying that. We think he stockpiled coffee because he didn't want to go get coffee every day and bought these six coffees with six muffins, but then had this Abe and Louis food, which he bought like two steaks and he bought like five children's pastas to survive him for the four days. So my, my daughter's in there like, what are all these? And he's like, oh, there's, I like their pasta, but they don't have adult pasta, have kids pasta. So my dad was basically like the guy in Lost. Who is the guy Desmond? Who's, who's in the bottom? Like has to survive for three months. I think that's what he thought the blizzard was going

• 1:43:55Bill Simmons?

  to be. And he was going to survive on venti coffee, um, leftover steak and kids pasta for as long as it took.

• 1:44:02Speaker 02

  I would argue that what he claims he did is worse than what you think he actually did. I mean, accidentally ordering the same thing six times in a row. That's a lot of times.

• 1:44:13Bill Simmons?

  Did it go through? Did it go through?

• 1:44:16Speaker 01

  Abe and Louis saved his life.

• 1:44:18Speaker 02

  That would be six different delivery guys. Cause you know how that works, right? I mean, he got six deliveries from six different people.

• 1:44:27Bill Simmons?

  My daughter was like, she was trying to take a picture and he was stopping her. She thought it was just so funny. These six ice coffees next to each other. Like, what does the expression mean on an ice coffee too? Like, does the caffeine, does it kind of die? I don't even know.

• 1:44:40Speaker 02

  Depends on the milk.

• 1:44:41Bill Simmons?

  Three storms. Anyway, thank God. It's still freezing cold there, but I think he has two ice coffees left and, and one kids pasta.

• 1:44:49Speaker 02

  I like it. It's 12 degrees and he's drinking iced coffee.

• 1:44:55Bill Simmons?

  I know.

• 1:44:55Speaker 01

  You can't fight it.

• 1:44:56Bill Simmons?

  Anything to plug? Kim, it's February sweeps month. Do we still have sweeps?

• 1:45:00Speaker 02

  Nope. No, there's no sweeps. No, we have Don Lemon.

• 1:45:03Bill Simmons?

  Literally don't have sweeps?

• 1:45:04Speaker 02

  I don't think so. If, if so, nobody ever mentions them. We have Don Lemon on tomorrow, though. You know, he got arrested, um, over the weekend. So, yeah.

• 1:45:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, that's a good one.

• 1:45:14Speaker 01

  He just got arrested again there. You, you can see, I don't know.

• 1:45:17Speaker 02

  Oh, he did?

• 1:45:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, he'll be out before the show, I think.

• 1:45:21Bill Simmons?

  Thanks for joining us, Kim.

• 1:45:22Speaker 02

  Every time he gets arrested, he'll be on the show tomorrow.

• 1:45:25Bill Simmons?

  Where are you guys watching the Super Bowl?

• 1:45:27Speaker 02

  You know, I

• 1:45:28Bill Simmons?

  Are you gonna be together?

• 1:45:30Speaker 02

  I I I'm happy to, but um, I I don't, I'm not looking forward to doing like a giant Super Bowl thing. I wanted

• 1:45:37Bill Simmons?

  I don't blame you. Well, the last time the Patriots and Seahawks played, we were at your house.

• 1:45:41Speaker 02

  Oh, that's right. Well, if you feel

• 1:45:43Bill Simmons?

  For the Malcolm Butler game. No, I'm gonna be by myself. I don't want to be with anybody.

• 1:45:46Speaker 01

  I feel like, where can I go? We go live like 20 minutes after the game. I can't

• 1:45:50Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, true. We're going live right after. Public access Netflix here.

• 1:45:53Speaker 02

  I live one eighth of a mile from you.

• 1:45:55Speaker 01

  I know, but you're not having a New Year's party, or how would that works? I don't know. No, I have

• 1:45:59Bill Simmons?

  You got worms in the toilet.

• 1:46:03Bill Simmons?

  You just want to go to your house?

• 1:46:04Speaker 02

  Listen, you're welcome to come. I know my son Kevin's coming over and um, um, you're welcome to come over, but I'm not gonna do a huge party, you know?

• 1:46:12Bill Simmons?

  All right. You guys figure it out.

• 1:46:14Speaker 02

  And Bill, if you feel that it, you know,

• 1:46:16Bill Simmons?

  I'm not going anywhere. I'm going nowhere.

• 1:46:18Speaker 02

  All right, well, were you at my house the last time, right?

• 1:46:22Bill Simmons?

  I've had good luck when you've been in the room with me for a Super Bowl.

• 1:46:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:46:26Bill Simmons?

  But I'm not gonna push it this time.

• 1:46:28Speaker 02

  Well, then, good. Hey, listen, and we'll have a reason.

• 1:46:31Bill Simmons?

  All right. Thanks to Cousin Jimmy. Thanks to Sal. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well, and Jack Wilson. Um, that's it for us on Netflix. We are going to be back on Netflix after the Super Bowl podium next week. I hope I have a smile on my face. I'll have my podcast plus rewatchables tomorrow. We did uh, Wild Things.

• 1:46:49Speaker 02

  Oh, that I saw you talking about that. That's the, that's gonna be

• 1:46:53Bill Simmons?

  That was gonna, might be the last rewatchables. We might have pushed it too far, but that's coming tomorrow through. That is on Netflix as well. Fellas, thanks for doing this. Thanks to everybody for watching. See you next week.

• 1:47:07Bill Simmons?

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• 1:47:43Bill Simmons?

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• 1:48:26Bill Simmons?

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