Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman (Lioness, Shawshank Redemption, Unforgiven) is an Academy Award-winning actor, producer, and narrator. Morgan joins the Armchair Expert to discuss auditioning as dancer for the World’s Fair, narrowly avoiding becoming the next Captain Kangaroo, and a difficult decision to leave his grandmother’s home in Mississippi to pursue his acting dreams. Morgan and Dax talk about bucking authority, how sailing is a metaphor for hope, and not wanting to be pitied during a terminal illness. Morgan shares the benefits of working with writer-directors, what it was like being asked to be in a film by Clint Eastwood himself, and why struggling to get back up when you fall is the true secret of success. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. And today we have the greatest voice of all time, perhaps.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 0:10Dax Shepard?

  Kim and Edward James almost Darth Vader.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 0:14Dax Shepard?

  That's classic.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  I'm picking Morgie.

• 0:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Morgan's my guy too. Morgan Freeman, Academy Award winning actor, producer and narrator. The Shawshank Redemption seven, our very favorite ding ding dingles.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  God.

• 0:26Dax Shepard?

  Bruce Almighty, the bucket list million dollar baby and new season of Lioness. The Taylor Sheridan Show, hugely popular, season two out right now on Paramount Plus. What a delight. Morgan Freeman.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  I feel really, really, really lucky. We got to talk to him.

• 0:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Such a legend, like a true, the one of one, we're not going to get another one like him.

• 0:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Very, very special.

• 0:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. So basically this is a, this is almost an ASMR gift. You're going to get to hear Morgan Freeman, that beautiful velvety voice for the next hour and change. So please enjoy Morgan Freeman. We get support from Quince.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Okay. Can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself. Cause let's be honest, self gifting is a love language.

• 1:28Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high quality staples are made with premium materials like a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere, 14 karat gold and Italian leather, full on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater is starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 1:55Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm going to tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California and I'm so excited. And I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 2:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry. For your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here. And it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:30Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:02Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I need to talk about something that doesn't get enough respect. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese. This is not a casual burger. This is a crafted burger. We're talking 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order it. No artificial flavors, no fillers, no preservatives, just beef doing what beef is supposed to do. And here's a detail I love. There's a cowbell sound in the kitchen. When somebody orders a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a cowbell goes off and the grill master throws a fresh patty down. That's like having your own entrance music at McDonald's. I want a cowbell for everything in life. The onions are hand topped by someone who just knows the right amount. Two slices of cheese laid out in a star pattern. So every single bite gets cheese and two pickles side by side. So you're never in a pickle desert. Every bite is accounted for.

• 3:48Dax Shepard?

  Someone engineered this thing with love. I love a Quarter Pounder.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Me too. That's my order. It's a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. I love it. I didn't know they put so much effort that they did a star formation. I should have known because you can taste it when there's effort.

• 4:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the love. Don't tell anyone this, but I'll put two of them back.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 4:10Dax Shepard?

  The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 4:44Dax Shepard?

  Hello, sir.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  Hello, sir.

• 4:45Dax Shepard?

  I'm Dax.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  How you do, Dax?

• 4:47Dax Shepard?

  Good. Nice to meet you.

• 4:48Speaker 01

  Thanks for coming.

• 4:49Dax Shepard?

  Where are you guys coming from?

• 4:51Speaker 03

  I live here in LA.

• 4:52Dax Shepard?

  You do? Okay.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  And Morgan lives in Alabama, Mississippi.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, which one? That's the question.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Which one what?

• 5:01Dax Shepard?

  Alabama or Mississippi?

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Both.

• 5:02Dax Shepard?

  You can't have both, can you?

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Why not?

• 5:05Dax Shepard?

  I guess maybe you can have both.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  I do have both, but I spend most of my time in Alabama. Do I have to put these on?

• 5:12Dax Shepard?

  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  If you like them, great.

• 5:16Dax Shepard?

  If you like them, you like them. If you don't, you don't. You guys out of here?

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Time to leave.

• 5:20Dax Shepard?

  That was the final straw. First was where are you staying? None of your fucking business. Two was, do you really live in Alabama, Mississippi? That was strike two.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Now, you are the one that says you can't live in both.

• 5:31Dax Shepard?

  I did say that.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Well, it does feel like a riddle.

• 5:34Dax Shepard?

  It does.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Like, how could you possibly live in both?

• 5:37Dax Shepard?

  Like, where did they bury the survivors? That old riddle. Yeah, I guess you could conceivably build a house right on the state line and put your bedroom dead in the middle of it.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Oh, that'd be fun.

• 5:47Dax Shepard?

  And go to sleep on one side and wake up on the other side of the bed. Well, Morgan, welcome to the show. Are you doing a bunch of press right now for Linus?

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:56Dax Shepard?

  And what's your overall feelings about press? You can be very honest, because I have varying views myself.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  It's a have to. You have to do it.

• 6:03Dax Shepard?

  That's right.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  I was given a choice of not. I would not.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Well, it's the only part of the business that, let's call it an imposition. You have to do it, and it gets old.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:19Dax Shepard?

  So there's many reasons why it can be uncomfortable. One of them is starting to just kind of feel fraudulent because you're repeating yourself so much.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 6:27Dax Shepard?

  I can turn the air on for us if that's okay.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Oh, shit. We just turned it off.

• 6:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you're not turning it off. I'm turning it right back off.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  I don't react well to air conditioning.

• 6:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, tell me.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Well.

• 6:40Dax Shepard?

  It makes you sniffly.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  It steps up my head. I'm allergic. Specifically, if I get air blowing on me, cool air, and that's it. First of all, my head stops and I sneeze. I do all the things that you do if you're allergic to something.

• 6:54Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  And I know why you're allergic to things. You don't like it.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 7:02Dax Shepard?

  Now you were brought home as a baby to Memphis?

• 7:06Speaker 02

  From Memphis.

• 7:07Dax Shepard?

  Dad was a barber.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Well, at the time, they were both nurses aides.

• 7:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay. And then your mom was also a teacher at some point?

• 7:16Speaker 02

  A little later. Yeah. She started to teach music because she played the pi nana.

• 7:21Dax Shepard?

  The pi nana. Tickled the ivory.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Did you ever play? Did she teach you?

• 7:26Speaker 02

  She didn't have the patience to teach me either I bet or I didn't have the patience to learn. I wanted to play the piano. I didn't want to learn how.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Same. That's the big hurdle, the learning part.

• 7:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Unfortunately.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:41Dax Shepard?

  You go down to Mississippi and you live with your dad's mom there? Or does the whole family?

• 7:46Speaker 02

  I'm eighty seven years old. They're all dead.

• 7:48Dax Shepard?

  When you were a toddler.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Oh, when I was a toddler.

• 7:50Dax Shepard?

  When you got sent.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 7:52Dax Shepard?

  This is what I want to do. Let's introduce CRS condition, which you've recently diagnosed yourself as. Cause I think that's a good primer for the interview.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  What is that?

• 8:02Speaker 02

  CRS?

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Think.

• 8:05Dax Shepard?

  He can't remember a lot of things.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:07Dax Shepard?

  And he said on Kimmel that he does have CRS as a condition, which is can't remember shit.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 8:14Dax Shepard?

  So that medical condition, we should state up front.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  That's important for us to say.

• 8:19Dax Shepard?

  We get a little blurry on the.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  My long-term memory slack most I think is pretty much intact. It's like five minutes ago.

• 8:28Dax Shepard?

  And does that start extending also going back months? I do wonder, can short-term get bigger? Short-term memory?

• 8:35Speaker 02

  I don't know. Mine gets smaller and smaller.

• 8:38Dax Shepard?

  But those core memories, they seem very intact.

• 8:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a good term to use, core.

• 8:44Dax Shepard?

  I remember my childhood as well, perfectly. Two years ago, I'm not sure what happened. And I kind of marvel at what an impact it makes. Do you think about that?

• 8:51Speaker 02

  There are moments in your childhood that are just clear. I have moments when I remember something when I was four or five, six years old.

• 9:01Dax Shepard?

  And do you remember context at all? Do you remember World War II was ending? Is that a memorable event? Or was that just the water you were swimming in?

• 9:08Speaker 02

  That's just water I was swimming in. Good way to put it. I'm a little bored during the war. How old was I when it ended?

• 9:15Dax Shepard?

  I think eight, maybe thirty seven you were born, ended in forty five.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Good math.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Tax does a lot of math here.

• 9:22Dax Shepard?

  It's one of my few skills, Morgan.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Really?

• 9:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. If you want to hit me with anything, you got any like tax items you want me to add up quickly?

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Right on, because mine sucks, always has.

• 9:31Dax Shepard?

  How were you as a student?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  I was very good as a student. I just wasn't good in math. I read a lot. That set me up with English teachers. Everybody else except math instructor, but he was kind to me because I was a star.

• 9:45Dax Shepard?

  Already an acting star?

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you start really, really young. Yeah. Your first role is nine years old?

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Eight.

• 9:52Dax Shepard?

  Eight?

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:54Dax Shepard?

  And you're living with grandma or mom?

• 9:56Speaker 02

  Mom by now.

• 9:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  That grandma was my paternal grandma, died at age six and a half.

• 10:03Dax Shepard?

  While you were there?

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. I remember I'm a junior, so my name was Junior. There were two, three ladies sitting with her while she was dying. And then finally, so you think she's dead? Well, call Junior and have him call her. If she doesn't answer, she's gone.

• 10:22Dax Shepard?

  You were the test.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. Shook her, called her name, and she wasn't there anymore.

• 10:29Dax Shepard?

  Did you enjoy living with her?

• 10:30Speaker 02

  As a little boy, yeah, I was the apple of her eye. Both grandmothers were worthy.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Big influences.

• 10:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Now, this gets serious, I'm assuming, because at 12 years old, you win a statewide, you're like in a drama competition, you win best actor at 12 years old. Are you feeling yourself? Are you like, next stop is Broadway? What does that do to a 12 year old?

• 10:52Speaker 02

  I always wanted to be in the movies. I didn't see stage plays.

• 10:58Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  I was living in the movies, so that was where my passions lay and lie.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  What were the movies at the time that were huge for you?

• 11:08Speaker 02

  Those Saturday westerns, Lash Laru and Buck Rogers.

• 11:13Dax Shepard?

  That was a Western in space, right?

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. Ken Maynard. Later on, John Wayne was coming along.

• 11:19Dax Shepard?

  Was Eastwood, you were too similar in age, right? How old were you when you started seeing Eastwood in movies?

• 11:24Speaker 02

  He was on Rawhide, Rowdy Yates. That's when I first noticed him. And then, you know, he disappeared for a while. And then he was the man with no name. Could shoot five guys just like that.

• 11:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I was only curious if you had been a fan of his before you worked with him.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Big fan. My favorite movie was The Outlawry, Josie Wales.

• 11:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. Now, you were also moving a ton, right? Because you did Memphis, you did a couple of places in Mississippi, you did Gary, Indiana. How were you doing when you were dropping into these new schools nonstop?

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Getting beat up.

• 11:59Dax Shepard?

  You were getting beat up.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, skinny, bookish. The only thing I had going for me was I wouldn't give up. I would not show up.

• 12:07Dax Shepard?

  What was the roughest stop?

• 12:09Speaker 02

  Chicago, South Side.

• 12:11Dax Shepard?

  What ages were you in Chicago?

• 12:13Speaker 02

  I got there at age six. First time I was ever slapped real hard.

• 12:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Because it was a December in Chicago and that cold, I'd never experienced that before. And at the time, the Illinois Central Railroad was the connection. So I got off the train with my biological father because he came down after my grandmother died, his mother. He had to come and get me and my sister.

• 12:41Dax Shepard?

  You have two older sisters?

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Two older brothers, a younger sister and a younger brother.

• 12:46Dax Shepard?

  So you're a middle, middle, middle.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  I am the middle child.

• 12:49Dax Shepard?

  Quintessential middle.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Quintessential.

• 12:51Dax Shepard?

  Easy target.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Every time I changed schools, it changed me all the time. You had to be initiated into some other little gang.

• 13:01Dax Shepard?

  You got to prove where you sit on this ladder every time you arrive. It doesn't come with you.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Nope. And I wasn't a fighter. You get jumped by four or five boys. All right, all right, all right, Jesus, quit.

• 13:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. You're just praying for someone to have some kindness and mercy. Like, God, I hope one of these four boys has the bravery to say, we should stop kicking him now. I think we might be hurting him very badly.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Did your brothers get picked on too?

• 13:28Speaker 02

  We didn't grow up together and not until I was 11 years old because two kids were with my mother ultimately and two were with her mother, my maternal grandmother.

• 13:43Dax Shepard?

  Dad, I'm just gonna guess, he died very young, 49, 50, how old was dad when he died? Very young, yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, like 47, something like that.

• 13:53Dax Shepard?

  Says cirrhosis, was he a drinker?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Oh heavens, yeah.

• 13:58Dax Shepard?

  Okay, again, same dad was a raging alcoholic, step dads were in the mix that were much worse.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  My stepdad was it, he was my dad.

• 14:06Dax Shepard?

  You got a good one.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's great. That rarely happens.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, it wasn't early, it was late. He had his own issues.

• 14:14Dax Shepard?

  Sure, who doesn't?

• 14:15Speaker 02

  But it was good to me and my mom.

• 14:17Dax Shepard?

  So what things did you pick up from that? For me, I lived in the same house for 16 years, never wanted to leave. I hate moving because of that childhood. I hate authority and from enough interviews I've listened to you in the last couple of days, I feel like you might have a little of authority issue as well, do you?

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Just a little.

• 14:34Dax Shepard?

  Just a, just a tiny bit.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was three years, eight months and 10 days in the United States Air Force.

• 14:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so shocking to me you went into the Air Force because that sounds to me terrible. A lot of dumb people are gonna tell me what to do all the time and I'm gonna have to listen.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got into trouble there.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Want to hear one of my stories?

• 14:57Dax Shepard?

  I would love to, yes.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  I've come out of high school, been able to just murder an Underwood typewriter.

• 15:03Dax Shepard?

  You were a quick typist.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, and the Air Force made me a radar mechanic and I hit my stick, you know, really.

• 15:11Dax Shepard?

  You were a thespian.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Well, closer.

• 15:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and you hated math.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  The kid who was the clerk in the maintenance office was arrested for child molestation. In other words, he had a little girlfriend. He was 19 and she was 13.

• 15:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh boy, okay.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  So.

• 15:35Dax Shepard?

  No good, no bueno.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I volunteered to take his place in there because Dexter was the typewriter. I could even compose a reasonable letter and all that kind of stuff. Now, I'm working there for a few months and a new sergeant comes to take over the maintenance department, tech sergeant. Black guy, tall, had an eyebrow that could reach his hairline.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  My captain, who thought I was a gift from heaven.

• 16:04Dax Shepard?

  Cause of the typing speed and the composition.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. I want you to meet one of my best men, he says to the sergeant. I go in, he says, Sergeant Spaulding, this is Airman Freeman, one of my best. I said, Sergeant, it's nice to meet you. Keep your nose clean. I'm sure we're gonna get along.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  You said that. Oh, my God.

• 16:25Dax Shepard?

  You'll fare well in my written coverage of this. How'd that go down?

• 16:31Speaker 02

  That eyebrow shot up.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  And he looked down. There was a big box next to him. You wanna take this box up to the sixth tower? No.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  He's black.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  This is Captain, this is white. Captain sitting down there with his head down. I let him stew for half a minute, I guess. Then I said, Sergeant, if you want me to take this box up to the sixth tower, just tell me to do it. And it's gone, but you asked me if I wanted to.

• 17:03Dax Shepard?

  And I don't.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  But you know, the guy became my best friend.

• 17:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he did?

• 17:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely. He'd stand around and wait for me to pull that shit.

• 17:12Dax Shepard?

  How did you end up in the Air Force?

• 17:14Speaker 02

  I needed to get out of Mississippi. I'm never gonna be in the movies in Mississippi. Well, I gotta leave. I wanted to fly a jet. I wanted to be a pilot.

• 17:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you loved airplanes, right?

• 17:24Speaker 02

  At the time I did. I still do. I'm a pilot now.

• 17:27Dax Shepard?

  At sixty five, you got your license. That's incredible.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know a lot about me.

• 17:31Dax Shepard?

  I'm trying. You deserve that.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 17:34Dax Shepard?

  And then some.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  Where were we? We're graduating and getting into the Air Force.

• 17:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it just seems like such an interesting detour for you, who seems like you know. But I get it. You need to get out.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  I needed to move. That's a sad part of that because my grandmother, who was life savior for me, died alone. All of us, we left home and she said to me, if you stay here and go to school, I had two partial scholarships.

• 18:04Dax Shepard?

  For drama, right?

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. And no, I gotta go.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. Live your life.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'll buy you a car if you stay home.

• 18:13Speaker 02

  I gotta go.

• 18:14Dax Shepard?

  So that's a heartbreaker because those grandmas, boy, they were available, right? Yeah.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  These are the things that you sit with for the rest of your life when you make these decisions.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 18:24Dax Shepard?

  I was thinking about what was your expectation? Cause dad died so young, grandma died young.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Fifty seven when my paternal grandmother died.

• 18:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. All of it's all too young. Your mom made it to her eighties.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. She was in her late eighties, actually.

• 18:39Dax Shepard?

  When the adults around you growing up die so prematurely, I would imagine it's impossible to not start thinking, I'm not going to count on seeing 90 or seeing 80. Did that impact you or did you never have that view?

• 18:51Speaker 02

  No, I didn't. I just never thought about it. Now I think about dying. I think about just not being here. I do things and I fly planes, sailboats and stuff.

• 19:01Dax Shepard?

  Work out, you play golf.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. And we get into some situations when you think, well, I guess this is it.

• 19:07Dax Shepard?

  Especially flying your hobby. You get to have that thought probably more than most people.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Tailing.

• 19:13Dax Shepard?

  Fuck that. I race stuff. I'm all about flying the ocean. No, thank you.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 19:18Dax Shepard?

  The ocean, I'll tell you in one second, guess what? I'm in charge and there's no game plan. It's gonna get you out of this.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. But if you're on the ocean, you got a good sailboat. It's very survivable.

• 19:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I just watched this doc about this young woman, this South African who sailed around.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Sailed around the world.

• 19:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. All by herself for months. No wind for like two weeks, sitting in the middle of the ocean, no wind.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  That's the worst part of sailing right there. No wind.

• 19:43Dax Shepard?

  Whoa.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  The ocean, flat calm. And you're pretty much in the doldrums. And the doldrums is that area between the equator and say the next 10 degrees north or south. Nothing happens there.

• 19:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah. When that happens, I wonder if you feel like, has the world stopped?

• 20:00Speaker 02

  People have gone insane.

• 20:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. To see the glass like surface of the ocean, I would think, oh, motion has stopped on planet earth.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  No swell.

• 20:10Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's terrifying.

• 20:11Speaker 02

  However, there is a current. The current is only going to be about a knot and a half, two knots, but you're moving.

• 20:19Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  It just doesn't.

• 20:22Speaker 01

  You just can't tell.

• 20:23Dax Shepard?

  Going 10 degrees of latitude at one and a half knots is very.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  So if you're headed for the Southern Ocean, you're gonna go through them.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  It's a lot of trust.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Or if you've got a good engine and enough fuel, you put on your motor.

• 20:36Dax Shepard?

  Get the fuck out of the dol.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. I didn't know that's where that came from.

• 20:41Dax Shepard?

  The dol drums?

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't know that.

• 20:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I sailed through it one time on that Asia trip and it was calmer, but it wasn't glass like. That would have really freaked me out.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  It's freaky. You've been on the ocean of waves, of wind, and then here you are with nothing. You think, you know, I could very well die here.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:00Dax Shepard?

  I don't want that. I don't want that at all.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  And rot.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. No one's coming out here to get me.

• 21:06Dax Shepard?

  Right. Would you be opposed of me keeping you here as an attraction?

• 21:13Dax Shepard?

  Like when you came to my house, you could get a picture with Morgan Freeman, the taxidermy version.

• 21:19Dax Shepard?

  Could I have your oral permission for that, if that happens?

• 21:22Speaker 02

  I'm gonna stuff your ass.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  You know, when I die, I want to be, he's gone. I don't want to be lying down with tubes everywhere. Somebody sitting and waiting and I'll jump out a window. I ain't going through that shit.

• 21:39Dax Shepard?

  Well.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Well, I'm not.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  I know, it's miserable.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  You're not gonna do it. You can't do it.

• 21:45Dax Shepard?

  We're on to something here, though. When my wife will hear about like so and so just told his family has had cancer for two years. I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Let me warn you now. I don't want anyone knowing I have something because I don't want to be pitied. I don't like that.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm so sorry.

• 22:04Dax Shepard?

  And I may be projecting on you, but I think that's one of your things as well.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  I don't need it. I've always been, because of these backgrounds, it's kind of self motivated. You have to do for yourself. Get a job when you're 13, 14 years old. That starts you off on, yeah, I can do this.

• 22:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so after the Air Force, you have a pretty long period. When I'm looking at your life and your career, there's obviously a lot of unique aspects to it, but one of them is, I think I underestimated this. Because in my lifetime, the most time I've been loving movies, you've certainly been a part of them. But you had a really kind of later start of stardom. And I'm curious, so I left Detroit, took 10 years to get an acting job. And that, to me, felt like 150 years. My pessimism and the weight of that for a decade was rough. I think I'd be an addict anyways, but certainly the addiction was fueled a lot by that. Like, oh, my God, is this ever going to happen? Have I chosen wrong? Am I going to end up penniless? How

• 23:08Dax Shepard?

  were you during that long period of working a bit here and a bit there, having some success, then having some stagnation? How was that weighing on you mentally during all that?

• 23:19Speaker 02

  When I first got to LA was February of 59. I had $175. I got a new garage apartment for $45 a month. But the first month's rent, 45. And then you have to put in that deposit. That's another 45. It was February, and that money ran out in April. I mean, completely out. I remember eating rice. That was it.

• 23:44Dax Shepard?

  Were you living around here?

• 23:46Speaker 02

  I was living in 4905 Second Avenue, I think, 4509 and a half. I made a friend who was a friend of the sergeant. His name was Sergeant John Wes Spalding. And he told me, when you get to LA, look up this guy. He's a friend of mine from way back. So I did. And the guy befriended me, and his wife was another one of those. Every time I have been in really dire straits, this is a woman who got me out of it.

• 24:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  Reached in and pulled. Anyway, we hooked up, his wife and I. By that, I mean, she liked to do stuff that he just didn't care for. Going to swimming pools, going bowling, going roller skating.

• 24:30Dax Shepard?

  Being social and out there.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, she just enjoyed doing that stuff. And I enjoyed doing it. So she was happy to have somebody to do it with. There was no hanky panky, although she was gorgeous.

• 24:42Dax Shepard?

  Although it was killing me.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  And then one day he said, god damn, man, you eat here more often than I do.

• 24:51Dax Shepard?

  That was his subtle way of saying rides over.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  He didn't like that.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  So the next time I saw her was on a weekend and she said, when did you eat last? Tuesday, Wednesday, I ran out of rice.

• 25:06Dax Shepard?

  Ran out of rice. What a fucking different life you ended up having.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  I know.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she worked in the Board of Education and she was instrumental in getting me a job. So I went to work as a transcript clerk at LACC. I was thinking, okay, so I'm going to try to get into the playhouse. Somebody that said, no, you don't do that, man. We got a better theater department here in LACC. And you can go take classes for free because you're working. That's what I did.

• 25:37Dax Shepard?

  How do you deal with the many times where it looks like, okay, it's gonna happen? Finally got my foot in the door. I'm in this play. I'm on Broadway. There's a lot of those, right?

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was on stage in New York. Go back to Dungeon Theater and then work your way into off Broadway and then off Broadway and then Broadway. That started at around age 30.

• 26:03Dax Shepard?

  Were you feeling when you were with your acting peers, were you feeling behind the eight ball? Were you having that sense that you were getting older? How do you explain that? That's just your temperament?

• 26:14Speaker 02

  I guess that's what it is.

• 26:15Dax Shepard?

  And you were getting to perform. So you're like, okay, I'm performing. That's what I wanted to do.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  In San Francisco, did I mention San Francisco?

• 26:23Dax Shepard?

  I know that you were a part of a troupe there, the Royals.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  This was the opera ring.

• 26:27Dax Shepard?

  The opera ring.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  We did Broadway shows, musicals. So I was in West Side Story and Much Upon the Mattress and Can Can and the Three Penny Opera.

• 26:40Dax Shepard?

  So you were at the 1964 World's Fair in New York, performing. And do you know there was an actress that was doing her very first performance professionally at the World's Fair as a dancer? Do you know who that is? Goldie Hawn.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  No way.

• 26:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you guys were both. There. That was her first kind of paid dancing performance.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  That was mine too.

• 27:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I thought that was interesting.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  I was working in the, what do you call it? Garment district, New York. And a friend of mine who worked there got me a job as a skip tracer.

• 27:15Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's a guy looking for people out on bail?

• 27:18Speaker 02

  That's different. I'd call it skip tracer. It's not, I'm tracing clothing.

• 27:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Can I try to ship my tracer?

• 27:29Speaker 02

  And I was good at that. If you send a truckload of clothes somewhere and it didn't arrive, where is it?

• 27:35Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's with the mafia down the street. You're in New York. Am I right? Is that where a lot of it was?

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Not the mafia, but boy, you're in the mix.

• 27:44Dax Shepard?

  Stuff went missing in New York pretty regularly, right?

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. So they were moving me up in the hierarchy and guy who was audit clerk took off. He got his license as a CPA and they said, do you want to take that desk? You get a $5 a week raise. If I'm making from 55, I'm going to go to 60.

• 28:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  So I get the job. I'm good at it. Now people are bringing me stuff to do. This was part of your job actor. Really? Yeah. And this and this. They said, well, he didn't ever have time to do it. And you do. Okay. How much was he making a week?

• 28:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Well, he was making a hundred and five dollars a week. Well, come on, that's like a $35 a week raise. Just like that. We can't do that. These people who've been here 20 years are just up and leave now. There's a phone call from a woman I knew from San Francisco. She was in New York. We were taking dance lessons in San Francisco. I did jazz and tap and ballet.

• 28:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you were very into dancing.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  An actor who can move and sing, you've got that much wider possibilities.

• 29:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  And she called me and she said, did you know that Michael Kidd was holding auditions for dances for the world fair? The next day, at my lunch hour. I went to the audition. My kid says, how soon can you start? How soon do you want me? He said, today.

• 29:19Dax Shepard?

  Today.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  I'm not coming back.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:23Dax Shepard?

  And did all of a sudden they have a hundred and five dollars a week to pay you?

• 29:26Speaker 02

  No, they didn't. I was gone, man.

• 29:28Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I was expecting them to go, hey.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  My supervisor, he said, how much does this pay? I said, I'm not coming back. I got a job. I'm dancing. He said, how much does the passage? Ninety-two dollars a week.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Says, okay, how long is that gonna last? I don't care how long it lasts.

• 29:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  And so that was it. It was my New York job.

• 29:50Dax Shepard?

  There's something about giving away security for the dream. There's something magic that happens. I had a job that was perfect gold cage. It's like I only worked on the weekends. I worked enough hours I could pay to be an actor. At some point I had to go like, I'm quitting that. And I don't really have a plan, but I feel like I need to quit that before this other stuff's gonna open up. Your Broadway debut is in sixty-eight in Hello, Dolly. Pearl Bailey won a Tony for that. It was an all-black cast of Hello, Dolly.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:19Dax Shepard?

  Were you a Cab Calloway fan? Was exciting for you?

• 30:22Speaker 02

  I was more excited just about being on Broadway. I had done an off-Broadway play.

• 30:28Dax Shepard?

  That I'm not allowed to say the name of, but you can.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, The Night Glover's with Vivica Lenfres and Stacy Keach. We had a shortened run, show closed. I auditioned as a replacement for the part of Rudolph, the head waiter. And I got it. So I just moved from off-Broadway to Broadway. I was in that show for eleven months and a guy came to me and he said, I would like for you to come with me. I'm gonna do a little show. We call it the DMC, some singing, some skits and stuff. Primarily, we're gonna be anti-war. I don't have the kind of money that you're making here, but you'll get press.

• 31:11Dax Shepard?

  You joined that?

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:12Dax Shepard?

  Now, again, you're in a Broadway play and people are getting nominated and winning Tonys. For me, I'm like, okay, buckle up. Here we go. Was it a rocket ship after that? I know we go to 1971, The Electric Company.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  There was some empty times between the World's Fair sixty-four. The World's Fair job didn't last but a few months, count rehearsal. And the show itself closed in a couple of months. So I was on the street for the most part, but I went to work at Neatix. Neatix is like early, early, early, early McDonald's. It's another one of those places where you go and you can get these little hot dogs. You can get donuts, cup of coffee, you can get scrambled eggs and bacon.

• 31:58Dax Shepard?

  Fast food.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it paid forty-nine dollars a week and you worked forty-four hours a week.

• 32:05Dax Shepard?

  So a dollar an hour, basically.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, and there was a sign shop that says, no tipping.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Oh, jeez.

• 32:12Dax Shepard?

  Heaven forbid.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I say to the guy, and my orientation, I was like, no tipping. People are going to sometimes tip you. You give them good service. What do you do? Give it back.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  I said, well, no, what if they put it under a napkin and just walk away? He said, you ring it up as a sale.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Why?

• 32:31Dax Shepard?

  And so they can keep it?

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I'm working and I'm looking around at the other guys working in this place. I hoodle them to the core.

• 32:43Dax Shepard?

  Everyone's on the grift.

• 32:44Speaker 02

  These guys are not working for no forty-nine dollars a week. So the manager was a black guy and I cornered him in the dressing room and said, okay, how does this work?

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, give me the reel.

• 32:58Dax Shepard?

  Show me the ropes.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  So he showed me the ropes.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  Stay tuned for more Armchair.

• 33:07Dax Shepard?

  Expert, if you dare.

• 33:12Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Skims. Okay, I have a confession. I genuinely love matching pajamas. It's the best part of Christmas morning, really. Everyone in the same matching set, looking ridiculously cute in front of the tree.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  I love matching pajamas. I'm literally going to be in coordinating sets with all my friends this holiday season. Because I got them, spoiler to my friends who are listening, the same Skims pajama set I've been living in. They are so soft and cozy and they look cute. So you can leave the house and go get a late night hot chocolate and be cozy.

• 33:47Dax Shepard?

  It's so great how Skims has sets for everyone, too. Women's, men's, kids, even your pets. So nobody in your life has to be left out this year.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  I have a bunch of different pajama sets. One of my favorite is the organic cotton sleep long sleeve set.

• 34:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay, tell me more.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  It is so comfortable, very chic, too. The top is a button down, but very, very soft, easy to sleep in. But as I said before, you can multipurpose this and look super cute.

• 34:16Dax Shepard?

  Hot chocolate runs. It's like the pajamas we grew up in, except without the scratchy polyester that made opening presents feel more like a hot yoga class that nobody signed up for.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  All the nostalgia, none of the discomfort. Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select Armchair Expert in the dropdown menu that follows. If you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 34:45Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Every family has that one holiday tradition. Nobody actually enjoys, but everyone keeps doing because stopping it would feel like a federal offense. For me, it was a specific meal situation that I will not name because my family listens. But at some point, you have to ask yourself, am I doing this because I love it? Or because I'm afraid of what happens if I don't?

• 35:08Speaker 01

  Yes, and that question applies to so much more than the holidays. I think a lot of us carry these invisible rules about how we're supposed to spend the holidays. We're supposed to. To see what it's supposed to look like. And when you start unpacking that with a therapist, you realize half of your stress is coming from rules you didn't even write.

• 35:24Dax Shepard?

  This is where BetterHelp can be a great resource during the holidays. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, which means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recs.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  I just love therapy. I've been avoiding it recently, or not avoiding it, but I was like, oh, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy. I haven't canceled, canceled, canceled. But then I-

• 35:51Dax Shepard?

  You start feeling it.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, because then I had it this past weekend and I was like, oh my God. I'm just, thank God, thank God for her. Yeah.

• 35:59Dax Shepard?

  BetterHelp is now in-network with more than 125 health plans, with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/dax. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash DAX. We get support by Peloton. You know that feeling when you're spiraling over a problem and you just can't figure it out? When that happens to me, I need a change of pace. And I've found that running is the best way. It takes my brain out of the driver's seat and I come back with a fresh perspective. Running can be freeing and cathartic, and Peloton helps you feel all of that.

• 36:43Dax Shepard?

  And now that feeling fits wherever you need it with the new Peloton Tread Flex. It's movable and foldable, designed to fit your life. So next time you feel stuck, you can go for a run literally anywhere, whether that's in your office, living room, or even the attic. Plus, they have classes with expert instructors and programs to meet you at any level and keep you moving. Let yourself run. Explore the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com.

• 37:12Dax Shepard?

  We are supported by Squarespace. So here's something I think about a lot. Most people I talk to on this show, the ones doing really interesting things, they all had a version of their work that existed before anyone else saw it. It was just theirs, notes, ideas, projects they were tinkering with. And then at some point, they made the decision to share it. That's the part that's scary, right? Going from, I'm working on something to here's what I made. Rob went through the exact same thing, building our site on Squarespace. And what made it doable was that he didn't have to become a web developer overnight. He just had to show up with the idea. Squarespace handles the rest. Beautiful templates that actually look like you hired someone, built in SEO. So people can find you, email campaigns, scheduling, analytics, all under one roof. No code, no patchwork of random tools.

• 37:57Dax Shepard?

  And honestly, the thing I keep coming back to is how low the barrier is. If you've got something you've been building quietly and you're ready for people to see it, Squarespace makes that leap feel a lot less traumatic. Head to Squarespace.com/dax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  So what was the trick?

• 38:26Speaker 02

  A guy comes in, he orders a cup of coffee and a hamburger. So you give him a cup of coffee, the hamburger, you ring up the cup of coffee.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 38:35Dax Shepard?

  Now we're talking.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:38Dax Shepard?

  Slashing prices.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  And then you keep count of how much you've got in the cash register. And when it gets to be like a five or $10, all I have to do is take that $10.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  Ruffle that $10 up.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Yes, yes. Never put your hand in your pocket. Just fold it up and then get the coffee holder. Coffee pot.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  Oh, coffee pot.

• 38:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh, get the coffee pot.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, because Big Ern is in the bag.

• 39:05Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 39:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And if you're doing that five shifts a week, you've doubled your salary right there.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  I was bringing home about a hundred a week, but they were getting on to this whole thing.

• 39:18Dax Shepard?

  At some point.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Because the guy would come by periodically and just check the cash register. And if there were more money in there than the receipt shows.

• 39:26Dax Shepard?

  That's suspicious.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Somebody might have to pay for it. I didn't like any part of that. Here I am stealing and this isn't going to last very long. So I quit. I didn't quit because I had something else to do. I quit because I didn't want to get caught stealing.

• 39:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And you didn't want to work there for 49 bucks with no tips.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  I didn't. So that was it. Here I am back on the street again. Now it's desperation time. Ben to my ghost says, we're going to go up to Stowe Playhouse and do a taste of honey. She's going to direct and I'm going to star. Would you like to come along and do that? Yeah. Summer stock. Now I got a little job in Stowe for a month, so I'm exotic.

• 40:10Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're tall and striking.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  And black.

• 40:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 40:16Speaker 02

  A guy gives me a boat. Guy comes along and says, you're Morgan Freeman. That's all I've heard since I hit town.

• 40:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  So that's when I started sailing with that little boat on our little reservoir in Stowe, Vermont.

• 40:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  I was hooked like you wouldn't believe.

• 40:32Dax Shepard?

  Immediately. What do you suppose it is? It's just your will, right? There's no engine to rely on. Is that the appeal? Like I'm making this happen or it's not happening? The ownership of the experience?

• 40:44Speaker 02

  I suppose, yeah, but just taking advantage of what life offers me. When there's nothing to do and I don't have any way of managing, you get depressed, had long periods of depression, not knowing when the next anything is going to come along. But in my dotage, I realized that something always did. Something always does. Something always will. You just keep marching. You just don't go jumping out of windows of doing something that's gonna get you in a slammer just to eat. So now, I am now hooked on this boat. I go into New York for some reason, and while I'm there, I go to a bookstore and I

• 41:27Speaker 02

  get a book on sailing, knot tying. And while I'm there, I go to an audition for an off-Broadway play. This is the one you don't want to say.

• 41:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  And I auditioned and the guy says, well, thank you very much. And I go back to the store. Couple of weeks, they call, said, would you come and audition again? So I get on trailways and I go and I audition again. And I said, well, thank you very much. I really appreciate you coming back. And back in the store, a week or so later, said, would you mind auditioning again?

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  The director of Slow Playhouse, guy named Jim Leahy, see that, remember that? It's incredible.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good.

• 42:12Dax Shepard?

  You've already listed more names than I currently hold in my head.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  He says, what? They want you to kind of, no, no. Listen, I want you to be here for my fall season. Tell them no. So I told them, no. They said, you got the job.

• 42:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, right. You learn these lessons, right?

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Right. So here I am now in a off-Broadway play, and we do the play. On the opening night, I meet Jeff Hunter. He says, you're pretty good. Would be all right with you if I recommended you for certain things, for some jobs or something. Shit, yeah. Never had an agent. Then one of the producers of that play said, I was one of the ones who wouldn't hire you. And you're better than I thought. I'm gonna put you on Broadway.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  And he did. Now, this is the way it happened. I got another job off Broadway, Manhattan Theater Club. Nice little play. We got pretty good response. I got great response. So that guy who was producer of that play was gonna take this little play to Broadway, which they did, for which I got kudos.

• 43:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  Playing a wino, a drunk. The play might have lasted a week.

• 43:27Dax Shepard?

  That's it.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, they just produced it right out of existence. It wasn't there on the stage like it was when we had it off Broadway. Only cast member that was the same with me. That lasted about a week, but I got good press. Now, I'm on a New York scene. New York Magazine had a little section they use always on the town. And there I was.

• 43:50Dax Shepard?

  Your name was in there.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  On the town.

• 43:51Dax Shepard?

  Oh, baby.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  Great.

• 43:53Dax Shepard?

  Almost doesn't get better, right?

• 43:55Speaker 02

  It gets better.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  It gets better.

• 44:00Dax Shepard?

  Well, that's good. I like that answer.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  So now, here comes the Electric Company.

• 44:05Dax Shepard?

  And, Monty, you're too young to remember the Electric Company, right?

• 44:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know it.

• 44:08Dax Shepard?

  It was seventy-one to seventy-five PBS kid's show, but it was a really fun and funky, very seventies kid's show.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  It was Sesame Street.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Uh huh, uh huh.

• 44:19Dax Shepard?

  First one of those, really.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Sesame Street was way before.

• 44:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God. So it's been going forever.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Ever. Electric Company was the government would fund experimental television. It succeeded.

• 44:32Dax Shepard?

  You didn't love that, though, right? Because of the subject matter or the pace of it?

• 44:37Speaker 02

  Terrified that I would become Captain Kangaroo.

• 44:40Dax Shepard?

  Right, of course. And you'd just been on Broadway and around town. That would have been really hard for me. I would be very nervous that it wasn't gonna end well.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  What if it didn't end? If it didn't end, you would not go anyplace. Slack actors, who I know really good actors, but they became spokesman for a commercial. That's it. That's as far as you're gonna go.

• 45:03Dax Shepard?

  And it was such a different time. It was so regimented and compartmentalized. You couldn't do a commercial. Movie people couldn't be in TV. And TV people couldn't be in. And soap operas and soap opera, it just never ended.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I did it all.

• 45:17Dax Shepard?

  In that period from seventy one until really eighty seven, you have sixteen years of doing a part in a movie, being on a show for a minute, doing the soap for two years. Okay, eighty seven. Now, I just want to point out at this point, you're fifty.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, about.

• 45:36Dax Shepard?

  You do Street Smart with Christopher Reeve and Kathy Baker, and you get nominated for your first Academy Award.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:45Dax Shepard?

  So I think you might have had this experience that a handful of people have, which is it took forever. And then there is whiplash. Was that a kind of whiplash, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I've just been cobbling together, rent now for all these years. Now I'm in this thing and now we're going to the Academy Awards. It feels a little abrupt.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  No, it doesn't. It started twenty years before.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  It just felt like baby steps.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:10Dax Shepard?

  Well, you can have these different columns of luck in life, right?

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:14Dax Shepard?

  You can be like very unlucky in some quadrant of your life and then be pretty lucky in some quadrant. I picked that one over baseline luck level. I'd rather have some spikes.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  I think if you keep moving, that's what happens. You step into a hole somewhere and you sink. But instead of giving up right then, you keep pushing. And I'm gonna tell youngsters, my kids, if you fall and you just lay there, people will go right past you. But if you fall and you struggle, somebody's gonna give you a hand.

• 46:47Dax Shepard?

  That's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  If you're trying, someone will come help you.

• 46:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:52Dax Shepard?

  That's really powerful. We don't hear that part of it. It's just get back up. But you're right. Struggling is another option. And it does elicit kindness and help.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  Sometimes you just can't get up by yourself.

• 47:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  But that doesn't mean lie there saying, okay, this is it. It's not it unless you say it's it. Keep pushing, keep trying. You'll always get a hand. Somebody will, something.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  Probably a woman.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  In my case.

• 47:18Dax Shepard?

  Exclusively.

• 47:21Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so then this isn't a stutter step. This is really the beginning of the very wild ride. The handful of people ride. Eighty nine is a crazy year. Glory comes out.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Driving Miss Daisy.

• 47:34Dax Shepard?

  And Lean on Me.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, all of that interesting thing for me in this wild ride was Driving Miss Daisy and Street Smart came out same week.

• 47:45Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really?

• 47:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, so in the movies, I'm this pimp and on stage, I'm this old man.

• 47:50Dax Shepard?

  What a range there on display. That's lucky timing.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  There you go. Something will come along.

• 47:57Dax Shepard?

  You and I won't call it God, but something.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's always you.

• 48:02Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I like your take on God. Well, do I believe in God? Well, I believe man invented God, so yeah, I believe in me.

• 48:08Speaker 01

  Oh, I like that.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  You heard that somewhere.

• 48:09Dax Shepard?

  I know you. I've been paying attention.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  Why am I sitting here talking?

• 48:15Dax Shepard?

  I could do this whole thing if you want to take a nap. Just what a fucking year, though. Glory, obviously, five Oscar noms, Driving Miss Daisy, nine Oscar noms, including Best Actor nomination for you. Lean on Me is a huge, that's a crazy year.

• 48:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:32Dax Shepard?

  How do you adjust to the notion of maybe having money going forward? Because that's now on the table in 1989. You're starting to probably reassess like, oh, I might actually have money now at 52 years old. You hadn't bought a house yet at 52, had you?

• 48:48Speaker 02

  No, I hadn't bought a house yet.

• 48:50Dax Shepard?

  Do you remember buying your first house?

• 48:52Speaker 02

  Apartment.

• 48:52Dax Shepard?

  In New York?

• 48:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had a friend who was in real estate doing pretty good. Now co-opping becomes possible in my building. So as a tenant, I could buy my six room apartment for $78,000.

• 49:08Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  I don't have seventy eight thousand dollars, but I am working. I go to a friend and say, I just need a quarter of that. You could loan. He said, in essence, no, it won't be worth it. So eventually I bought the apartment instead of seventy eight thousand, I paid two hundred and thirty five.

• 49:29Dax Shepard?

  Oh, bummer. Oh, three X.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  But I had the money.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, you were able to.

• 49:36Dax Shepard?

  And now it's worth twenty X of that.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  Now it's worth twenty million dollars.

• 49:42Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so it really takes off in eighty nine. I just want to ask you about a couple of projects. One of them is Monica and I's top five movie of all time. So we got to geek out for a second on that. But I do just want to talk about ninety two. That feels very special to me, Unforgiven.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  I did an audition for that. Clint Eastwood called.

• 50:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 50:02Speaker 01

  That's a big moment.

• 50:03Dax Shepard?

  What's that feeling?

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Clint Eastwood, he wants me to do a Western with him? You're kidding me?

• 50:08Dax Shepard?

  I think people can have performances, they change something permanently. Where no matter what happens, I give Donofrio as a great example of this in Full Metal Jacket. It's like, if you do that scene one time, sitting on the toilet with your gun, it cannot be taken. For the rest of your life, people know, well, he can do anything. That's not to say we're going to give him anything to do, but we know he can do anything. And for me, Unforgiven for you is that, well, that's done on Morgan Freeman. That guy is a legend. That's like a legendary performance. The chemistry between you two is just, that's the part of magic I like about movies. You just don't know, you could be best friends with somebody, have no sparkle on screen, right?

• 50:48Dax Shepard?

  And then you guys are strangers and you have this deep familiarity and understanding of who one another are. And this acceptance and this non judgmental friendship, which is so pure and interesting. Could you feel when you were making the movie, this is a special thing? Or they feel like all the movies?

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Special to me. I'm on screen with Clint Eastwood.

• 51:08Dax Shepard?

  Fucking wood, yes. It's impossible.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  It doesn't get better. When I was a little boy, if you wanted to give me something for Christmas. Give me a cap pistol and a rig. I was so good. I could shoot five guys.

• 51:24Dax Shepard?

  I practiced nonstop. I would be twirling.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:27Dax Shepard?

  Putting it in the holster sideways.

• 51:30Speaker 02

  I was bad.

• 51:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, me too. No one was looking, but I thought I was a bad customer.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  You know, you're just practicing.

• 51:36Dax Shepard?

  You grew up and you got to play that with the ultimate guy who does that. And you got to be a bad motherfucker yourself, which is fun to play. Especially if you got beat up a lot in these schools.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's full circle.

• 51:46Dax Shepard?

  Directors, it sounds like you've been hit or miss with directors.

• 51:51Speaker 02

  Mostly hit, miss, only been a couple of times.

• 51:54Dax Shepard?

  I guess what I'm going for here is I'm guessing you must have liked how Clint directed.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  I love the way Clint directs.

• 52:02Dax Shepard?

  He knows when he has what he needs and then he moves on.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  And he knows it soon. He does not direct actors. He directs the movie.

• 52:09Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  You come knowing your lines and where all the cables are on the floor.

• 52:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  As opposed to somebody like David Fletcher.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  I had a feeling he's the opposite of that.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  He has a concept and they want you to be privy to that concept. So if you're privy to that concept and you will do your best to give him whatever it is he want. That was what I got and my relationship developed with David. I know why you're asking me to do this. It's not like, okay, say it like this. He never said that, but I want light situations. So turn your head just as much.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  It's very technical.

• 52:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's how I would feel. If I knew the game plan and I understood it and agreed that that was worthwhile of an endeavor, I could play along. It's the, I'm not sure what I want. Why don't you keep doing things until you show me what I want?

• 53:02Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 53:05Dax Shepard?

  For the listener, Morgan just physically. That's the zone, right, that we hate.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  I can't stand it. They say, that was great. Let's do another.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  You know, just to see what happens, you know, the same thing is gonna happen, dude.

• 53:22Dax Shepard?

  That's the truth of that moment for me, you know, it'll come out again. So that can be tough.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, younger directors still get into that situation.

• 53:31Speaker 01

  Well, because there's an insecurity for them. It's like, if I don't have enough, what if I didn't do it right?

• 53:36Speaker 02

  Well, the editor is gonna put you on the mat.

• 53:39Dax Shepard?

  That version, Monica, I'm almost mildly sympathetic to. It's more the entitled, well, I have you, we got it. Let's see if you can come up with something on your own. I hadn't thought of that's going to be brilliant. That's just more like, I'm just gonna use you now into the ground because I can't.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  Rewrite my script?

• 53:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's the version I don't really like.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Two people I really am nervous about trying to work with and that people who write and direct. And I just worked with one who writes and directs that I would jump off a cliff for is Taylor Sheridan.

• 54:14Dax Shepard?

  In Lioness?

• 54:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's just like, it's yours. You can think of anything you want to do, give it to me.

• 54:20Dax Shepard?

  I trust you and I'm open to the Morgan magic if you want to give it to me.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  I write the Morgan magic.

• 54:25Dax Shepard?

  That's right.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  That's his attitude, you know, it's like, right on, brother, right on, I'm here. And then I'm up there with these ladies.

• 54:35Dax Shepard?

  Some badasses.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, such a terrific cast, Michael Kelly.

• 54:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, Nicole Kidman.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  I've always been in love with that woman since I first saw it.

• 54:43Dax Shepard?

  Do you remember the role for me? It was Days of Thunder. I was like, okay, I want her as a doctor for the rest of my life.

• 54:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, when you saw Unforgiven, you grew up watching these movies on Saturday. I hope you had that moment where you thought like, oh, goddamn, I got in one of those.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  I gloried in the whole experience. I was always on set. Days when I didn't have to work, I hung out with the Wranglers.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Just wanted to be there.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:10Dax Shepard?

  Shawshank 30th anniversary. Again, in the life story, the lessons you learn that just happened to you. This one's interesting. I pointed out on the show all the time. Shawshank, for your average, if you ask them, was that a hit? They go, oh, it's got to be an enormous hit because every single person has seen this movie. And it's fucking great. And it wasn't a box office smash. It underperformed or probably scared some people initially.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what happened with Shawshank. I saw this terrific movie. It was called, um, Shimp Shunk.

• 55:47Dax Shepard?

  He has the same explanation as I have about Zathura.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 55:52Dax Shepard?

  I was in this great movie Favreau directed called Zathura. It's a great movie. Not one fucking person was going to step up to the ticket counter and go, can I get a Zathura? They didn't want us to try to say it out loud.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  Right. Kind of a middle aged lady on an elevator. I just saw you in the Hudsucker reduction, no, the Hudsucker reduction.

• 56:15Dax Shepard?

  The Hudsucker reduction.

• 56:17Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  How did you enjoy it?

• 56:22Dax Shepard?

  I want to see that. Where did you see it? I want to check that out.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  That's very funny.

• 56:27Dax Shepard?

  Now, did that one feel, how about this? You had just done Unforgiven. That's such a special movie and it was received and rewarded as such. Shawshank, was it a little heartbreaking? Because again, of your performances, that to me is still in top three.

• 56:39Speaker 02

  They're not really heartbreaking for me. They're heartbreaking for the studio. They put up all that money.

• 56:44Dax Shepard?

  But Deriband was a million takes director too. You weren't loving that vibe.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  That was a kind of tense set.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. Also, subject, I mean, I'm sure all of it added up.

• 56:55Dax Shepard?

  You're in a prison. I shot a movie in a prison. You underestimate what it's like to be just even shooting in a prison. After a few weeks, you're like, okay, novelty's worn off. I fucking hate it. I want to get out of there.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  I did a lot of prison movies. I was in Attica and I did the one with Robert Redford. Brew Baker.

• 57:12Dax Shepard?

  Ah, yeah. Okay. The last movie I'm gonna make you talk about, we could do this all day. You're in so many great movies. It's wild. You've been nominated a bazillion times, won several times. Monica and I love Seven. I watch Seven once a year.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  And it holds up. It's still so smart and so good.

• 57:30Dax Shepard?

  I would hate acting with that technicality. Like, it wouldn't be for me. I don't have the right disposition. So I applaud everyone that does it in the spirit of it because it's worth it. But I'll tell you, the magic of that is the way they all hold up. They are masterpieces of composition and pacing and timing. The work is evident. It's such a great movie. How did you enjoy making that movie? What was it like working with this young, gorgeous Brad Pitt? Young, gorgeous Gwyneth Paltrow?

• 57:58Speaker 02

  I really enjoyed working with David because I so tuned to what he was after. It gave me a lot of leeway.

• 58:07Dax Shepard?

  Did you learn about your powers a little bit in that movie?

• 58:10Speaker 02

  Just a little bit. I also twisted my ankle so bad running across the field there at the end.

• 58:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. John Doe has the upper hand.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  Oh, you twisted your ankle doing that?

• 58:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was not like running on level ground. I sprained my ankle and then I think we did this shot seven or eight times.

• 58:28Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  God.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  I stretched my tendon so badly, it's not back again. So my foot tends to roll over.

• 58:35Dax Shepard?

  I wonder if there's a tall guy thing too, though. That's my Achilles is my, it's rare, it's literal, but it's not because, but yeah, when you roll, and I remember my dad used to roll his all the time. He said, basically with a rolled ankle, you gotta go a year without rolling it and it'll tighten back up. But until then, you can roll it so easy.

• 58:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:51Dax Shepard?

  But I would say what you did in that movie, and I ask, did it help you understand your own powers? Is if I'm you as an actor, the confidence I need to commit to that performance and go, I'm never gonna be showy. I'm not gonna be loud and exciting. I'm going to force you to lean closer to hear what I'm saying. That takes a ton of confidence. Did you have any anxiety while you're doing it? Like, I hope this works.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  No. When did I feel anxious about work? On stage, the only time I had a part that I knew I couldn't do, I tried to do Othello. And I've asked a few actors, did you?

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Ever managed to get that? No.

• 59:36Dax Shepard?

  That's the one that.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 59:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's interesting.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  I've seen one actor play Othello and get it, nail it. And that was Laurence Olivier.

• 59:44Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. Yep, yep.

• 59:46Dax Shepard?

  That tells you a lot about.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  How hard.

• 59:48Dax Shepard?

  How hard it is. Yeah. Only Laurence Olivier nailed it.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  I walk out on stage, opening evening, and this is outside in Texas, in Dallas, at the Dallas Civic Light Opera. And I walk out on stage in this costume and somebody yells, sing Purple Haze.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  Oh, geez.

• 1:00:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  My God.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  That was it.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  What is it about that role? Do you think this just makes it impossible?

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  I don't know what it is that makes it impossible. I'm not sat and disgusted with any other actors. Ask Jimmy Jones, because he's done everything. He says, I've done it five times and I still haven't pulled it off.

• 1:00:35Dax Shepard?

  It's like Moby Dick.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I almost wonder if in a boxing way, if you're like defeated by it, you want to give it another shot.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know I can beat this guy.

• 1:00:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I know I have it in me.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  I know I can.

• 1:00:46Dax Shepard?

  But it's something you were smart. You're like, I don't have it in me to beat Othello. I'm gonna let it be the one experience. Okay, last movie, just because I'm curious how you got on. Did you have fun doing Bucket List? How'd you get on with Jack Nicholson? Let me tell you, for my money, Morgan, present company excluded, but for my money, when you watch Departed, you go, wow, this is about everyone that's great doing it all in one movie. I go like, hmm, who am I most gonna want to look at in a two-shot, in a wide? Nicholson is as great as, I mean, what an attractive human being. Did he deliver? Oh, wonderful. You're smiling.

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  He's Jack.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  I met him prior and told him I'd give my left testicle.

• 1:01:31Dax Shepard?

  I might give the whole package up.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  He was asked if he'd do it and he said, send me the script and send him the script. And I said, yeah, let's do it. So there we were, me and Jack Nicholson.

• 1:01:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, man.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  It's also so funny to me that the bucket list was invented from the movie and now it's just a ubiquitous phrase that everyone uses.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Works. I'll tell you, other than Clint, I had another icon, another idol. That was Gregory Peck.

• 1:01:59Dax Shepard?

  Interesting. Why?

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  Of all the things I'd seen him in, nothing ever came up to Movie Dick. I read Movie Dick some time ago and that movie was every step in the book. They got it right. And he was awesome. First I saw him, we were at one of those award things in Hollywood. I had a seat kind of on the aisle and he was coming up the aisle from the stage and jumped out and knelt down. And he said, get up.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  And then later on I got a call from, I'm doing this library reader. I get, you know, actors to come and read short stories. Would you do that? For you? Hell, jump out of an airplane.

• 1:02:46Dax Shepard?

  I'll read a phone book out loud for you.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  Whatever. So we got conversational.

• 1:02:53Dax Shepard?

  But was Jack in your list as well?

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:56Dax Shepard?

  When you were acting with him, did it fuck you up ever? Did you sometimes go like, oh, wow, I'm in a scene with Jack Nicholson? Would you get self-aware of what you were experiencing?

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  No, when we were working, we were working, I worked, but then I go home and I go, Jesus fucking Christ.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he was probably saying the same thing. It's a similar situation for him, I'm sure.

• 1:03:21Dax Shepard?

  Well, I don't know if Jack has that.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  I think, I don't know.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  I like that attitude you got there.

• 1:03:29Dax Shepard?

  It's nice. It's generous.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  I think it could be definitely true. I mean, maybe not him, but everyone else then on earth.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  A lot of people I get that kind of response from.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  If I'm working with somebody that I hold that high up, to me it's a ride along. We ride together. You take your run, I'm in it. I get it. So here comes mine. I just want to compliment what you're doing.

• 1:03:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. How have you done in the past with other like strong male? Is it easy for you to coexist?

• 1:03:56Speaker 02

  Easy. Strong males aren't doing anything but acting.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  That's the quote.

• 1:04:04Speaker 01

  That's the truth.

• 1:04:05Dax Shepard?

  Strong males aren't doing anything but acting.

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  God, that's so true.

• 1:04:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy. Yeah. Once in a while, we lift something heavy, though. That's right.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Dax Shepard?

  And then we're not needed for a very long time.

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  Every now and then you have to lift something heavy.

• 1:04:21Dax Shepard?

  That's right. Or you gotta be tall. Once in a blue moon, I need to be tall for somebody. I justify my existence for a couple of weeks. Can you reach that for me? Yes, I can. Okay, let's talk about Lioness. Season two is upon us. This is Taylor Sheridan. And as we said, Nicole Kidman, Michael Kelly, Zoe Saldana, and now you're playing Secretary of State. So you've pretty much now played almost every member of government, I think, at this point. You're getting close.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, presidents. I used the plural there.

• 1:04:58Dax Shepard?

  Which time was it that I was playing the president? That was the third time I played the president.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  And here's Secretary of State. I've been head of the CIA. Interesting story there. Tom Clancy heard that I was gonna do part as a deputy assistant CIA. And he said, oh, if it's that guy, become the head.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:23Dax Shepard?

  You're so close.

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  Thank you very much.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  You got promoted.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, just like that.

• 1:05:29Dax Shepard?

  So Taylor's got a good thing going, right?

• 1:05:32Speaker 02

  I can't imagine. I'm almost certain he had a lot of stuff on the shelf, stuff that he has written. Because he's one of those guys who write. That's what he does. I don't care if he was washing dishes to make a living. He was writing, and this stuff is on his shelf, a lot of it. He is so prolific.

• 1:05:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so he had Yellowstone, then he had two spinoffs.

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  1823 and 1914. 1921, I think, or something like that.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  1883 and 1923.

• 1:06:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. And then you've got mayor of.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  Mayor of Kingstown.

• 1:06:08Dax Shepard?

  The king of Tulsa. Lion ass.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Geez.

• 1:06:13Dax Shepard?

  It's like impossible, the amount of writing this human does in one year. So did it start with a meeting with you and Taylor?

• 1:06:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, we zoomed. Taylor shared what to talk to you. Okay.

• 1:06:26Dax Shepard?

  I'm free.

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  I'm free. Right?

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  So he said the right thing.

• 1:06:32Dax Shepard?

  He wooed you.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  And off to Mallorca to work.

• 1:06:36Dax Shepard?

  Is that where you shot?

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  The first season.

• 1:06:39Dax Shepard?

  No way.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, man.

• 1:06:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, come on.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  I'm telling you.

• 1:06:43Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God. And were you sailing down there in Mallorca?

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no. I quit sailing. I got hurt in 2008.

• 1:06:50Dax Shepard?

  That's one of my questions for you. There's a very weird riddle within you getting hurt in 2008. You were driving a 1997 Nissan Maxima.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  Was it?

• 1:07:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Morgan, what in the fuck is going on? This was 2008 and you're driving a 97 Nissan Maxima. This is a nine year old Nissan Maxima.

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Wrong place.

• 1:07:14Dax Shepard?

  I'm more struck by the notion that you're driving a nine year old Nissan. And you've won Academy Awards and you're rich.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  Wasn't my car.

• 1:07:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, well, there is the explanation. You can understand why I was like, why is Morgan in this car? That was my main takeaway, other than you were hurt.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Really could not tell you why. And when they did my blood work up, they said, well, we didn't have a lot of alcohol. So it wasn't that. What happens was, I think I just passed out. They put a pacemaker in me after that.

• 1:07:49Dax Shepard?

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:51Dax Shepard?

  So maybe you had some heart fibrillation or something.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  Something AFib and just went and

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  Scary.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  Tore that car up.

• 1:08:01Dax Shepard?

  I mean, relatively unscathed with how bad the accident was. Very bad, right? Rolled the car over.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think it tumbled.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  Oof.

• 1:08:08Dax Shepard?

  And you ended up hurting your hand pretty bad?

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  I broke my arm.

• 1:08:12Dax Shepard?

  The humerus, the big bone up there?

• 1:08:13Speaker 02

  Up here, yeah. And so there's a plate in it and there's a pin in my elbow. It's nerve damage. I have no tissue. Shoes.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  No nerves.

• 1:08:23Dax Shepard?

  You have fibromyalgia now?

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  It isn't fibromyalgia. I looked that up. It's more neuro, like neuralgia.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  Okay. So you had to quit sailing?

• 1:08:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  The last time I was on my boat, I couldn't park it. Had a forty three foot catch, went out with friends one day and I couldn't get my boat back into the slip.

• 1:08:44Dax Shepard?

  That's a humbling experience.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  It is very humbling, heartbreaking. I walked away.

• 1:08:49Dax Shepard?

  What about bringing a fucking sixteen year old kid on board? You get him out when it's time to park?

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:55Dax Shepard?

  Can't we do that? Forty nine dollars a week, like you're back at the?

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  I'm so much a solo guy.

• 1:09:00Dax Shepard?

  I don't like that.

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  That's sad.

• 1:09:02Speaker 02

  Shit happens, as we say.

• 1:09:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Okay. So you meet with Taylor. It goes well. Season one goes well. You're back. Was it hard for you to commit to doing TV?

• 1:09:12Speaker 02

  No, it's not much different. There's a camera, there are lights, there's script and actors.

• 1:09:18Dax Shepard?

  I think so.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  And TV is awesome now.

• 1:09:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. What are you watching more of? Are you watching TV or going out to the movies? You're probably like the rest of us watching TV.

• 1:09:26Speaker 02

  I'm watching TV.

• 1:09:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And it's phenomenal, right?

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's hard to go to the movies for someone with a high profile.

• 1:09:33Speaker 01

  Can you go anywhere without?

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  No, I stay home.

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  There are restaurants around where I live. They'll just make way for me to make room. They'll put me in a special place.

• 1:09:44Dax Shepard?

  You did go back to Mississippi when you had the option. And I did wonder, is it overwhelming being famous in an area where it's more exciting to see famous people?

• 1:09:54Speaker 02

  No, very quickly get used to the fact that you're back home.

• 1:09:58Dax Shepard?

  And they're respectful of that?

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  Very respectful of that. You can't go into Charleston and say, where does Morgan Freeman live and be told?

• 1:10:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's nice. So what's happening in season two?

• 1:10:08Speaker 02

  You've got the emotional thing that the lioness has to go through. I think that's the heart of these episodes. These women who they go into a situation where they befriended some, that is some other, some woman, a wife, girlfriend, sister, something. Get to be close enough that she's in on what's going on and then have to betray that.

• 1:10:32Dax Shepard?

  For your country. Now, when you decide to work, A, the appetite is impressive. How are you deciding when and why you'll work? Do you like make decisions, I'm done? And then you make another decision, I'm back.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  I've not made that decision. I'm done. I haven't even decided. I'm thinking about it, you know? It's like, do I want to keep going? And the answer, of course, is yeah. Can you get out of bed? Yeah, I can get out of bed, then go to work.

• 1:11:01Dax Shepard?

  All right, well.

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  I have one last.

• 1:11:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  This obsession with your voice. When that first started, were you like, what's going on here? Or were you like, yeah, I get it.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  I think I sort of got it because when I was doing the electric company, it got more developed. I'm listening to myself now in earphones and you can do stuff with it. Now, when I was in school, LACC, that's how my voice got put in place.

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  Once it's in place, you know how to help it out.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  Play with it.

• 1:11:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  It's a gift.

• 1:11:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Well, this has been such an honor to talk to you again. Sevens are religion. We'll be watching that.

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Now that we're talking about it.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:11:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. What a performance. You're such an anchor of that whole experience. You're great on Lioness, of course. Lioness is super exciting, great cast. That's out October 27th. Season two starts on Paramount Plus. This has just been a delight. I know that promoting is a thankless and boring and never ending job. So I feel very lucky that we got so much of your time.

• 1:12:09Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:12:10Dax Shepard?

  Thank you so much. It's such an honor to meet you.

• 1:12:11Speaker 02

  Good to talk to you.

• 1:12:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you too.

• 1:12:13Speaker 02

  Oh, should I say, listen?

• 1:12:14Dax Shepard?

  Well, you can say whatever.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  All of it.

• 1:12:17Dax Shepard?

  All right, well, be well and good luck.

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  And you too, man. Be well, both of you, Monica.

• 1:12:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  And what is that over there?

• 1:12:23Speaker 01

  That's a Robby.

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  That's a Rob, okay.

• 1:12:27Dax Shepard?

  They grow those in Chicago.

• 1:12:31Speaker 05

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

• 1:12:38Dax Shepard?

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• 1:13:04Speaker 06

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• 1:13:43Speaker 06

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• 1:14:01Speaker 07

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• 1:14:50Dax Shepard?

  I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Do I have a booger on my face?

• 1:15:01Dax Shepard?

  Unfortunately not.

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 1:15:03Dax Shepard?

  Where did you think this booger resided?

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Like, right here.

• 1:15:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:15:08Speaker 01

  I felt like I felt it.

• 1:15:09Dax Shepard?

  Mid-gap between lip and nose?

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  Cupid's bow.

• 1:15:14Dax Shepard?

  Wait, is that called Cupid's bow?

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Right here, this is your Cupid's bow.

• 1:15:17Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I don't really have one. I see people with a really pronounced Cupid's bow and I'm really envious.

• 1:15:22Speaker 01

  Everyone has one.

• 1:15:23Dax Shepard?

  But of varying...

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:15:25Dax Shepard?

  Intensities, yeah?

• 1:15:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. I had a dream last night that I had a booger on my face.

• 1:15:31Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  And so now I feel like it was a premonition.

• 1:15:34Dax Shepard?

  What setting were you in? Was it high stakes?

• 1:15:36Speaker 01

  I think it was.

• 1:15:37Dax Shepard?

  A date?

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  I have a few... Okay.

• 1:15:40Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  I wasn't gonna talk about this.

• 1:15:42Dax Shepard?

  But now you are.

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  I feel bad because it involves a, um, previous guess, but it was a dream.

• 1:15:51Dax Shepard?

  It was a dream. Okay, let's just be very clear, it was a dream.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  This did not happen.

• 1:15:55Dax Shepard?

  In the interview. Okay.

• 1:15:57Speaker 01

  It did not happen in real life. But I've been... I guess I've been having a lot of dreams where I'm embarrassed by my,

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  body, I guess.

• 1:16:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  So I had a...

• 1:16:09Dax Shepard?

  Do you think this was a seed set by learning people have OCD about smelling? Do you think this is where this all jumped off?

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  Oh my... I mean, it's possible because the dream is about that.

• 1:16:21Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:16:21Speaker 01

  But the booger, not so much, but maybe. Maybe it's a snowball effect.

• 1:16:25Dax Shepard?

  It's a smelly booger, too.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  It is the winter.

• 1:16:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:27Speaker 01

  Okay, so I had a dream a while ago that I saw Jake Gyllenhaal somewhere.

• 1:16:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh, sure. Oh, fun. This is great.

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  And I feel like there was multiple people there.

• 1:16:42Dax Shepard?

  But really, most importantly, Jake G.

• 1:16:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, JG.

• 1:16:46Dax Shepard?

  JG's.

• 1:16:46Speaker 01

  And.

• 1:16:47Dax Shepard?

  Jagers.

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  We were flirting.

• 1:16:49Dax Shepard?

  Of course, that's what you do.

• 1:16:51Speaker 01

  And it was going really well.

• 1:16:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, leading in a good direction.

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like, it was frisky and it was bantery.

• 1:17:00Dax Shepard?

  Simmering.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  It was electric.

• 1:17:02Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh, about to be turned on to a full boil. Once you got that bedroom door closed.

• 1:17:07Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 1:17:07Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:17:08Speaker 01

  And I, even my non-dream Monica was like there somewhere and she was excited about the rest of the dream.

• 1:17:16Dax Shepard?

  Okay, right, right, right.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  Like where I was leading. And so we got to the bedroom.

• 1:17:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh my God, wow.

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  And it was so hot.

• 1:17:24Dax Shepard?

  Oh wow, you got all the way to the bedroom in your dream?

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:17:27Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  And we were making out and we were addressing.

• 1:17:33Dax Shepard?

  Heavy petting?

• 1:17:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay, very heavy.

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  Extremely heavy.

• 1:17:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, extra heavy petting.

• 1:17:38Speaker 01

  Too heavy, actually. And then he, this is like really, this is really bad, but it is a dream.

• 1:17:44Dax Shepard?

  It's just a dream. Don't take this out of context.

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  It's a dream. It's, if, if anyone's listening with kids in the car, this is not.

• 1:17:52Dax Shepard?

  Your must moment?

• 1:17:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not appropriate for kids. He was going down on me.

• 1:17:56Dax Shepard?

  Okay, he went down there.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  Uh huh. And he made a horrible face.

• 1:18:02Dax Shepard?

  Uh oh.

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:03Dax Shepard?

  Whoa, wow.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:18:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:18:05Speaker 01

  Yep. And.

• 1:18:08Dax Shepard?

  And he's so nice. If his face betrayed him, it was really something, because he has a lot of manners.

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  He does, and he was being, and it was, he was so nice the whole day, the whole day. He was so, um.

• 1:18:21Dax Shepard?

  Effusive.

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  So cute and sweet and lovely. And then he like made this face and I.

• 1:18:27Dax Shepard?

  Can you make the face that he made?

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  It was like.

• 1:18:29Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:18:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was pretty extreme.

• 1:18:31Dax Shepard?

  Hit him or is?

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  No, it was more like.

• 1:18:33Dax Shepard?

  Whoa, okay.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:18:35Dax Shepard?

  More about.

• 1:18:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I, I said something like.

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Is

• 1:18:41Dax Shepard?

  Everything

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  Everything okay?

• 1:18:43Dax Shepard?

  Everything

• 1:18:43Speaker 01

  Or maybe I ignored it and then like he kinda tried again and then he and then he was like started like getting angry

• 1:18:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he's switched.

• 1:18:56Speaker 01

  About the smell.

• 1:18:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay, hold on a second though. Is this post scene?

• 1:19:00Speaker 01

  No one's ever gonna

• 1:19:01Dax Shepard?

  Anna Kendrick's movie?

• 1:19:03Speaker 01

  That's a good

• 1:19:04Dax Shepard?

  Cause Pete Holmes turns. He's like, so nice, so nice, so nice, turns. Well, do you wanna leave? That's what he says with that look on his face.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  Maybe. I don't remember the timing.

• 1:19:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay, the timeline is a little hazy.

• 1:19:15Speaker 01

  It's possible.

• 1:19:16Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  So yeah, he turns and he becomes angry and mean and I said, you're being mean.

• 1:19:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, you said that? That's very vulnerable.

• 1:19:25Speaker 01

  Cause I, look, I don't feel that I have a smell.

• 1:19:32Dax Shepard?

  Okay, and is Sue?

• 1:19:34Speaker 01

  I mean, I guess people have smells, but I, you know, I was like, maybe I do, maybe I do and I've just not known this. And obviously no one is telling me and I can't smell myself. So, oh my God. And then that was the dream. Like it was just horrible.

• 1:19:52Dax Shepard?

  Did he march out? Did he call you any names?

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  I don't think he called me names. I do think he said like, ew, this is disgusting. He didn't, he didn't give any action items.

• 1:20:02Dax Shepard?

  Action items?

• 1:20:03Speaker 01

  But he did. It was horrible. And then I've been scared ever since.

• 1:20:08Dax Shepard?

  Sure. It's a very scarring dream. Traumatic. I'm having a new, it's not like this hasn't occurred to me, but right now I'm having a real moment where I'm recognizing. What I feel bad for men about is they have this constant anxiety about their erection. You talk to a man and it's, I have had so many friends over the years where like the mental battle going on is like, I couldn't, we were kissing and I didn't get hard and then, and then in their mind that they can't get hard with this person. And now it's just this like mental battle they're dealing with nonstop.

• 1:20:37Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:20:38Dax Shepard?

  And you're the equivalent of your hardness is that the fear that it might smell. It must be really stressful in the way that uh, an erection is stressful. And let's just say, well, how do I say this politely?

• 1:20:52Speaker 01

  People smell.

• 1:20:53Dax Shepard?

  Well, just the nature of the apparatus, like if, if it be intimate with me and involves spreading my butt cheeks and going into my, you know, I would live in Dee Dee, I think it would take me out of dating altogether, to be honest.

• 1:21:08Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:21:09Dax Shepard?

  Unless it was like, every single time we were intimate, I went into the shower and I scrubbed, scrubbed, scrubbed my bottom hole. If that was like, part of the repertoire of services I offered.

• 1:21:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:21Dax Shepard?

  I would be, I would have a lot of stress about it.

• 1:21:24Speaker 01

  Okay, listen.

• 1:21:25Dax Shepard?

  I'm not comparing that to that, but I am comparing that.

• 1:21:28Speaker 01

  I'm about to compare it. The butthole slash anus is actually a good equivalent, because even if you washed it.

• 1:21:39Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  Let's say.

• 1:21:41Dax Shepard?

  The outside.

• 1:21:42Speaker 01

  You wash the outside, but what can you do about the inside?

• 1:21:45Dax Shepard?

  Say you were extra exploratory and you just even.

• 1:21:48Speaker 01

  Stick your finger in a little bit.

• 1:21:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you got your finger in there a little bit and cleaned like the next inch out.

• 1:21:52Speaker 01

  Don't do that with your vagina.

• 1:21:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay, I have no advice on the vagina. I think your butthole's fine to do that.

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:21:58Dax Shepard?

  When I'm in the shower washing, I'm, I'm not.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  Stick your finger up there?

• 1:22:02Dax Shepard?

  I don't want to say that out loud, but I'm just, let's just say I don't just stop at like, the packaging, the wrapping.

• 1:22:10Speaker 01

  You, you don't just go like this.

• 1:22:12Dax Shepard?

  No, I attempt to like, really clean it.

• 1:22:14Speaker 01

  Does it ever make you poop?

• 1:22:17Dax Shepard?

  No, not, well, fingers crossed. Knock on wood.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  Okay, um, anyway, but, so even if you get a little bit though, you're not really like.

• 1:22:28Dax Shepard?

  You need to go about six inches up into your colon to ensure that there's nothing going to.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  If you have feces in your butt.

• 1:22:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay, fecal matter. It's still not time to lift your head, your earmuffs off your child if you're in the car.

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't. If you have fecal matter in your anus.

• 1:22:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, in your bottom.

• 1:22:46Speaker 01

  No, in your bottom.

• 1:22:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  Let's keep it clean.

• 1:22:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  It'll probably still smell, so it is a good comp because you can clean the outside of your vagina, although I have heard, you're really not supposed to clean it with soap.

• 1:23:01Dax Shepard?

  I know, I've heard like, all growing up, they were pitching very hard all day long on some, on daytime television. Summer's Eve.

• 1:23:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:23:11Dax Shepard?

  Uh, douche. It's got a better name than that.

• 1:23:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:14Dax Shepard?

  A hemin and hemin and wash, henna wash, feminine wash.

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:19Dax Shepard?

  Summer's Eve, it was on all the time. This is, it felt like this was a product that was mandatory if you were.

• 1:23:24Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:23:25Dax Shepard?

  A woman in the eighties.

• 1:23:26Speaker 01

  That's been, not to disparage any brands, but that's been debunked.

• 1:23:29Dax Shepard?

  I've heard that that is, can be not a good mix for your flora.

• 1:23:33Speaker 01

  Exactly. So really you're making it worse.

• 1:23:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh God, my heart goes out, but the, it truly does. You're like, fuck, I put, was summer's Eve. I think I can do it. I mean, how stressful.

• 1:23:48Speaker 01

  I know. So now I'm like stressed and I think I'm going to take your approach and I'm just not ever going to date.

• 1:23:55Dax Shepard?

  That's gonna, I don't think, I think you need to get a friend.

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  To smell it?

• 1:24:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Cause I think it's in your head. I'm married, so I can't offer, but, and so is Rob, but maybe a close friend. You know, Jess, that would be a great.

• 1:24:10Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:24:11Dax Shepard?

  Starting point, cause he's not gonna get mixed feelings after he does it.

• 1:24:16Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 1:24:16Dax Shepard?

  And you look at him as a, well, I don't want to say brother, cause you don't want that.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Ew, ew.

• 1:24:24Dax Shepard?

  I just don't know what else to recommend. My hunch is this is in your head. And so I think you need an extra set of eyes on this. I E knows on this.

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, but who, most people are probably not going to pull a J G, a dream J G and like make a bad face or gonna lie because of course you're gonna lie. Cause what to do?

• 1:24:43Dax Shepard?

  I listen, I was in that situation when I was younger, it would, I would verbal up and of course I never, I never was like, whoo. I shouldn't even done that. Just the thought of doing.

• 1:24:58Dax Shepard?

  Wait, let's try this. Okay. I'm coming up and I go.

• 1:25:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh. And I just do that really quick.

• 1:25:07Speaker 01

  Stop.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  Also what, like this does anything. This is such a dumb move.

• 1:25:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I like the way people signal something stinks. They double, they double, they double down. They go, they'll pinch their nose like, oh, and then they go, oh. Like if they really want you to know smells for some, this isn't sufficient and this wouldn't be sufficient. You gotta go. Oh, don't, don't go by that porta potty.

• 1:25:35Dax Shepard?

  Oh, fuck, I'm really heartbroken for anyone out there that's just panicked about it. Cause I'm sure, I'm sure in your mind, it's something that's not. I want to say this from the outside.

• 1:25:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want to know.

• 1:25:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I've never smelt BO on you. That sounds like a, seems like a good starter. And I don't have never smelt bad breath on you.

• 1:25:54Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:25:55Dax Shepard?

  So I, I'm, I'm inclined to think this is all in your head.

• 1:25:58Speaker 01

  The same.

• 1:25:59Dax Shepard?

  Here's a new item, Shark Tank.

• 1:26:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:26:02Dax Shepard?

  It's like a, a stick, like a chemical stick. And you wave it and then it impartially and objectively just says whether there's, it can detect whether there's a smell on some, on some scale.

• 1:26:18Speaker 01

  Okay, now what if it's just, it smells bad?

• 1:26:23Dax Shepard?

  Well, then I think we go to the, the G, the GYN. You never say GYN, OBGYN. I wanted to drop the OB, you don't need an obstetrician in this situation.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 1:26:35Dax Shepard?

  So you go to the GYN.

• 1:26:36Speaker 01

  The gyno.

• 1:26:38Dax Shepard?

  Then I think you go to the gyno and you go, I think I need help down there. What can, what can be done? What does science really have to offer us? Would that be too, that shouldn't be too embarrassing with a gynecologist. That's gotta be what they're.

• 1:26:48Speaker 01

  It's not too embarrassing, but I just don't think there's much to do. There's some like, there's like foods you can eat that help, I think, like temporarily. But I don't know, I'm just of the opinion that you, you get the smells you get. Like, like you said, BO, you get what you get and you do get upset. Because as you said, some people have stronger BO than, and of course that has, you know, there's deodorant and there's stuff.

• 1:27:12Dax Shepard?

  I have no business guessing this, but I just don't think you, you're having.

• 1:27:16Speaker 01

  This issue.

• 1:27:17Dax Shepard?

  I think this is all from a dream.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  But we're.

• 1:27:19Dax Shepard?

  You've had some lovers, have you detected any of them?

• 1:27:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:27:23Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  But I, but they're not dream JG, like this was, this was.

• 1:27:28Dax Shepard?

  High stakes.

• 1:27:28Speaker 01

  High stakes in the world. Well, not that it was high stakes. It was, it was my, I think it was my brain telling me.

• 1:27:34Dax Shepard?

  No, is your brain, well, telling you, you're scared of that.

• 1:27:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:27:38Dax Shepard?

  That's just one more thing you think of that could be a disaster.

• 1:27:42Speaker 01

  A follow up question.

• 1:27:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:43Speaker 01

  And sorry if this puts you in, gets you in trouble.

• 1:27:45Dax Shepard?

  Right. I might elect to not answer.

• 1:27:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:27:47Dax Shepard?

  With that setup.

• 1:27:48Speaker 01

  But you will. I'm gonna ask you to speak on behalf of most men.

• 1:27:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:27:54Speaker 01

  I rarely do this. I rarely give you permission for this. Do you think it's a deterrent for real? Or do you think people, like, look, think about all the people in this world who are married.

• 1:28:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, or just in relationships.

• 1:28:10Speaker 01

  In relationships, but I'm saying married, like you're in it, you're not getting out, right? And I have to imagine that there's a varying degree of odor.

• 1:28:23Dax Shepard?

  Absolutely.

• 1:28:24Speaker 01

  Among all the people.

• 1:28:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:25Speaker 01

  So some people are with odorous vulvas.

• 1:28:30Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:28:31Speaker 01

  And vaginas.

• 1:28:32Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:28:32Speaker 01

  And uteruses.

• 1:28:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. I think the fallopians are odorless. Were you gonna go as far as fallopians?

• 1:28:38Speaker 01

  No, everyone knows those don't have a smell.

• 1:28:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  So, I mean, people are obviously either fine with it, or they don't smell it, or they're just like, fuck it, I don't care, you get used to it. Like, what is it?

• 1:28:48Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so let's start with something that's very interesting, I think, is we know people with terrible breath.

• 1:28:55Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:28:55Dax Shepard?

  And they have partners that don't seem to care at all. So I think there can be like, I don't think it's as objective as you smell across the board to everybody.

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:29:05Dax Shepard?

  Because I think I see people that are in partnerships and the people smell and they don't seem to care or know, and I don't think they smell it.

• 1:29:14Dax Shepard?

  Cause they would address it. Like if Kristen reeked like BO everywhere we went, I'd go babe, when people hug you, they, their shirts smell like your armpits afterwards.

• 1:29:23Speaker 01

  Okay, but what about when you enter the relationship? Forget, now you're married, so yeah, you're like, baby, we gotta do this, but what about when you enter? Is it a deterrent? Like if she stunk? Not just her vagina. Let's just say she stunk.

• 1:29:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I mean, how far down the road would you get? I don't know.

• 1:29:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:29:40Dax Shepard?

  That's hard to say. Like, you're asking me the moment we got married. Well, I'm in pretty deep at that point already. I love her and we own a home together.

• 1:29:49Speaker 01

  You get married.

• 1:29:50Dax Shepard?

  But would we have gotten to that point if she stank?

• 1:29:53Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:29:54Dax Shepard?

  I would love to say I'm a good enough person, but I don't think so. I would way rather, I'm more sensitive to sn- to smells, to smells than am visual.

• 1:30:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 1:30:06Dax Shepard?

  I would be way better off with someone that you would think is unattractive, but smelt great.

• 1:30:11Speaker 01

  Same.

• 1:30:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. That's why it's a legit fear because it's powerful. Smells are very powerful. But again, some people don't care about smells. I'll be somewhere and it stinks and I'm like, is everyone? And a lot of people are like, no, I don't smell. It smells like a fucking sewer main broke. No. So I don't know. Whatever your, your DNA is.

• 1:30:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's pherom- it's also pheromones.

• 1:30:32Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:30:33Speaker 01

  So I guess it's, wow, it's really to each, to each his own. I guess it just wasn't the right, it wasn't the right match with Dream JG.

• 1:30:42Speaker 04

  I, I think men are appreciative enough to be down there too, that they'll overlook.

• 1:30:48Speaker 01

  That's what I was sort of wondering.

• 1:30:50Speaker 04

  I think pretty bad for it to be an issue.

• 1:30:52Dax Shepard?

  Great distinction.

• 1:30:54Speaker 01

  That's what I was asking.

• 1:30:54Dax Shepard?

  Because I think a lot of people might think, oh, just smell of like sweat and I don't know what we'd even call it. Is it bad? No, there's smells down there that are very appealing to us. So there's a whole suite of smells that are still positive.

• 1:31:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:31:14Dax Shepard?

  You know what I'm saying?

• 1:31:15Speaker 01

  They're still pungent.

• 1:31:16Dax Shepard?

  Well, no, like you've even said this, like when you've smelled a hot guy's just slight BO.

• 1:31:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like it.

• 1:31:24Dax Shepard?

  You like it?

• 1:31:25Speaker 01

  Well, it, it's very specific.

• 1:31:28Dax Shepard?

  There's just like, there's a, there's a spectrum of it that you, you notice, oh, that's got a smell, but also you don't mind it. You like it.

• 1:31:36Speaker 04

  And the association with you're about to get vagina.

• 1:31:40Dax Shepard?

  I think that's a great point, Rob. So.

• 1:31:42Speaker 01

  Thank you, Rob. That is what I was asking.

• 1:31:44Dax Shepard?

  And I also think some guys are, they want it bad enough that they could definitely deal with it because they want the ultimate thing bad enough.

• 1:31:52Speaker 01

  And that's where I'm asking you to speak on most men.

• 1:31:53Dax Shepard?

  But if someone has all the options in the world, like Jake, like Jager's. Probably the bar goes up a little bit.

• 1:32:00Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:32:01Dax Shepard?

  If I'm just being totally honest and guessing.

• 1:32:04Speaker 01

  Should we, should we?

• 1:32:06Dax Shepard?

  Should we call?

• 1:32:06Speaker 01

  Should we call him and ask?

• 1:32:08Dax Shepard?

  Jay's hypothetical.

• 1:32:12Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 1:32:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Well, in the non-spirit realm, in the non-dream world, I went motorcycle riding on Friday with Danny Rick.

• 1:32:25Speaker 01

  Danny Ricardo.

• 1:32:26Dax Shepard?

  And this radical dude, Adam, who is a motocross racer, like, you know, a real.

• 1:32:38Dax Shepard?

  I don't know. I want you to understand.

• 1:32:41Speaker 01

  I'm never gonna understand.

• 1:32:43Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's like me playing pickup basketball with Michael Jordan.

• 1:32:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's cool.

• 1:32:48Dax Shepard?

  Right? Like this guy is.

• 1:32:49Speaker 01

  But is it cool? Cause it's like fun, but very.

• 1:32:52Dax Shepard?

  Not for him or me.

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:54Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So it was, um, it was Adam. It was Ricardo that, you know, I think the standard age was thirty, thirty-three, and then a couple of great blokes from Australia that Danny had in town. And you know Aussies are nuts. They're young and wild. And we met at Rower Flats in the mountains and I was on a brand new motorcycle, KX, KLX 300. I love it. So comfy, uh, dual Spartan. I know I'm losing you. And, um, we rode for five straight hours up and up a mountain trail, down up a mountain trail. And I gotta tell you, I, I succeeded. I wasn't ever vocally complaining. But I, it did cross my mind, when are we?

• 1:33:39Speaker 01

  Gonna be done?

• 1:33:40Dax Shepard?

  Not done, just we've made, we've probably reached a point where we probably can't ride for five hours with thirty-year-olds.

• 1:33:46Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:33:47Dax Shepard?

  Like, oh, wow. Okay. We're really here where I did it.

• 1:33:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:33:52Dax Shepard?

  I didn't crash.

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, good.

• 1:33:54Dax Shepard?

  Also, you should know dirt bikes is my worst domain.

• 1:33:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:57Dax Shepard?

  But of all things you put gas in, it's the thing I'm the least good at. So I was working my ass off.

• 1:34:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:03Dax Shepard?

  Out there. And, um, it is the, there was a moment where there was this huge, huge, super duper steep hill climb, which I will add, there were seven of us riding. Five of us didn't make it. So it's, that wasn't me per se. Almost to the top and I'm like, now I'm in first gear and it's fishtailing and I'm losing traction and I'm trying to keep it going to get to the top of the hill and all of a sudden I just catch the front wheel and I go over this berm. So now I'm off to the side of the mountain and now I'm off the bike so I don't tumble and the bike's now kind of laying sideways and I'm still on this crazy steep hill and I've got a now, now this berm's in between the front tire and the back. So I've got to get it off of the berm, back out onto the super duper steep trail, then let the clutch

• 1:34:48Dax Shepard?

  out and start walking next to it and ride it up from the side. All that to say, that was like a four-minute battle with the motorcycle as to not lose my footing, fall backwards down this hill, not drop the bike, all this stuff. I finally got up to the top of the hill. I got on my motorcycle and thank God I was first, so I had a while while the rest of them tried to climb this hill and I just leaned over my handlebars and I think my heart rate was like, it had to be 185. What I realized is this is the highest my heart rate has been in a decade and then we had another three hours of riding to do.

• 1:35:24Speaker 01

  What is a berm?

• 1:35:26Dax Shepard?

  It's like, there's dirt, but then the dirt, because everyone's riding, it's kicking the dirt to the side, so that it just naturally gets dish-shaped. So it's dish-shaped and then, so that's a berm. It's like raised like 12 inches of dirt from where the trail is and then there's a bunch of tall grass growing on top of that. So whatever the fuck that adds to it.

• 1:35:45Speaker 01

  It's a little baby hill.

• 1:35:47Dax Shepard?

  It's a little baby hill on the side of the very steep hill.

• 1:35:49Speaker 01

  Okay, so.

• 1:35:50Dax Shepard?

  So why, is that the question?

• 1:35:52Speaker 01

  No, yeah, I mean, the people, look, this is great, great, great details.

• 1:35:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:35:58Speaker 01

  But I really, I think the, the question is how do you feel about the fact that you are done riding with 30-year-olds?

• 1:36:05Dax Shepard?

  I don't know that I'm done.

• 1:36:06Speaker 01

  Okay, well, okay, but it made you think about your age.

• 1:36:11Dax Shepard?

  It was a mixed bag. Here's what it was. It was like, wow, I pulled that off, but kind of by the skin of my teeth.

• 1:36:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:18Dax Shepard?

  When am I gonna, what, here's what the thought was. I'm gonna be out here soon and I'm not gonna be able to pull it off. That was what it was. It wasn't like, I'm not going to, I don't think I could next time. It was just like, oh wow, we, we, we hit the limit of our endurance

• 1:36:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:33Dax Shepard?

  on something that we're just okay at.

• 1:36:35Speaker 01

  You might be on the other side of the berm.

• 1:36:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, really nice metaphor. But Danny Rick, update on him as a human being?

• 1:36:43Speaker 01

  Wait, how do you feel?

• 1:36:44Dax Shepard?

  Oh, what part?

• 1:36:46Speaker 01

  About aging.

• 1:36:47Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:36:49Speaker 01

  That's the question. Like, that's a kind of existential thought.

• 1:36:53Dax Shepard?

  Feel good or bad about it. I just feel like I knew I needed to do some analysis and recognize that we're probably nearing the end of me being able to do that.

• 1:37:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, and?

• 1:37:05Dax Shepard?

  And that might be fine.

• 1:37:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:37:07Dax Shepard?

  Because what happens nicely that parallels it perfectly is like, it gets less enjoyable because it's so hard.

• 1:37:14Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:37:15Dax Shepard?

  So it's not like I feel like I'll be giving something up. Now, and again, I'm talking about I'm giving up potentially a five hour ride in the mountains. I still could go ride for a few hours. Or it's not that I have to give it up. There's just a zone where it's probably going to get less enjoyable as I get older at a certain level. And I'm recognizing I've, I might have crescendoed this whole thing.

• 1:37:36Speaker 01

  That's a good way of looking at it. Like, not just you camp, but that you don't really want to.

• 1:37:40Dax Shepard?

  Not that, not the version where we're out all day long. And.

• 1:37:44Speaker 01

  This is a ding ding ding because this is from Morgan and he had to stop sailing.

• 1:37:49Dax Shepard?

  That I hated that. But also, I was very grateful. Because if I go past my limit out there, it sucks. I have to ride really slowly back to camp and take a long time. If you meet the end of your talents out in a sailboat, I don't know what happens then. Like, if you're mid storm and you got to fight and you no longer have the capacity, that to me sounds very deadly.

• 1:38:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:15Dax Shepard?

  So I was heartbroken because you can tell how much he loves sailing. Sailing ding ding ding. I love the Ted Turner doc. There are a lot of sailing in that. These people are, they're different from me.

• 1:38:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, from me, too.

• 1:38:30Speaker 05

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 1:38:43Speaker 01

  Couple of quick updates for me.

• 1:38:44Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:38:45Speaker 01

  I had Mon's giving.

• 1:38:47Dax Shepard?

  And it was a real success.

• 1:38:48Speaker 01

  It was a great success.

• 1:38:50Dax Shepard?

  You almost gave up on making the squash.

• 1:38:53Speaker 01

  No, on the green beans.

• 1:38:54Dax Shepard?

  The green beans. The squash was a hit, sorry.

• 1:38:56Speaker 01

  The squash was hit. Really, everything was a hit. I was going to make, you know, it's a, it's a big undertaking. It really is. And it starts the day before. The night bef- the day before, you have to make the stock and that takes three to four hours. And then you also make, I made the cranberry sauce the night before. You, I made, you brine the turkey.

• 1:39:24Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Yeah, this is an extraordinary amount of work.

• 1:39:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's.

• 1:39:28Dax Shepard?

  For one little mouse in her little tiny kitchen?

• 1:39:30Speaker 01

  I know, the kitchen. Oh, boy. We talked earlier that Alison Roman, I was worried she wasn't gonna do Thanksgiving this year because she's pregnant, but she did do it, which was very exciting.

• 1:39:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, God.

• 1:39:40Speaker 01

  And she shows in the video, her turkey has a bag of giblets on one side and a bag on the other.

• 1:39:48Dax Shepard?

  Double giblets? I don't like.

• 1:39:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, no one likes it. No, it's in a bag. But I know, it's disgusting.

• 1:39:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. I don't know why you need a double dose of the gib.

• 1:39:57Speaker 01

  Well, exactly. So, okay, so she was like, make sure you.

• 1:40:02Dax Shepard?

  Gotta go.

• 1:40:02Speaker 01

  Get them because she said one year she accidentally cooked with them and ew, that's disgusting.

• 1:40:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:40:08Speaker 01

  So I, I, one was easy. Half already kind of sticking out. Pull that out. Then I am looking for the other bag and I can't find it.

• 1:40:22Dax Shepard?

  You're saying there's two bags of giblets in a turkey? I thought there was only one bag.

• 1:40:26Speaker 01

  Well, exactly. So on her videos, there were two bags. Have you been listening?

• 1:40:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:31Speaker 01

  Are you doing the thing that I did with the motorcycles?

• 1:40:34Dax Shepard?

  I thought she got an auxiliary bag of giblets from the butcher.

• 1:40:38Speaker 01

  Oh, gross. No.

• 1:40:40Dax Shepard?

  There was one bag of giblets per turkey. Why would there be two? Why don't they put it in one bag?

• 1:40:44Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:40:45Dax Shepard?

  You see all the reasons why it didn't make sense to me. There's two bags of giblets in a turkey.

• 1:40:48Speaker 01

  That's what my whole thought process was, is, oh, my God, there's two. There's one on both ends. Weird and they have you removed. So I took the one out that was like very obvious. And then I'm looking in the other side and I can't find it, but it's also like feels like it's a little frozen. So I'm just like shoving my hand up this turkey all the way up.

• 1:41:13Speaker 01

  Moving my little fingers around, looking for this bag and I'm convinced that it's frozen up in there.

• 1:41:19Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:41:20Speaker 01

  Can't find it anywhere.

• 1:41:23Dax Shepard?

  All right.

• 1:41:24Speaker 01

  So I'm panicking.

• 1:41:25Dax Shepard?

  Google at any point, do turkeys have two bags of giblets?

• 1:41:28Speaker 01

  No. So I am doing that. And also you have to like pull out this plastic thing in there. That's really hard. It's a whole.

• 1:41:36Dax Shepard?

  They're packing this turkey full of plastics?

• 1:41:38Speaker 01

  There's a plastic thing inside that you pull out with the legs. Anyway, so I was like, okay, I can't get this bag out now. Probably because it's frozen. So by tomorrow it will be unthawed and I like, it'll be completely unthawed and I'll be able to get it out. So I brine the turkey. Well, it was unthawed already, but I was thinking maybe, maybe.

• 1:42:02Dax Shepard?

  Wait, doesn't unthawed mean frozen?

• 1:42:04Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:42:06Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 1:42:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:42:07Speaker 01

  It was thawed already, but I thought maybe there was still some parts that were unthawed inside. And that was causing the issues. Whatever. I brine it, put it in the.

• 1:42:18Dax Shepard?

  Give it another round of fisting.

• 1:42:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did. Did a full fist. Then the next day, when I took it out, I did it again.

• 1:42:29Dax Shepard?

  Dig, dig, dig.

• 1:42:29Speaker 01

  Hand all the way in, squish, squish, squish, pull, pull, pull. Nothing.

• 1:42:36Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. No giblets.

• 1:42:37Speaker 01

  I panicked. So then I do text Allison and I, and I asked, dude, does every turkey have two bags? Or is it just one? I'm panicking that it's in there and I can't find it. She said, no, not all of them do. Phew.

• 1:42:53Dax Shepard?

  I don't know why any of them do.

• 1:42:54Speaker 01

  Well, hers did.

• 1:42:55Dax Shepard?

  Also, this is like TSC, TCS.

• 1:42:59Speaker 01

  BTS?

• 1:43:00Dax Shepard?

  T S.

• 1:43:02Speaker 01

  TSS. It is TSS. It is toxic shock syndrome. That's right.

• 1:43:06Dax Shepard?

  But yeah.

• 1:43:07Speaker 01

  It is. It's so scary.

• 1:43:09Dax Shepard?

  I know. You gotta get those giblets out. Why are they in there? Fuck, I need a turkey groater explain why you need to include that.

• 1:43:17Speaker 01

  I agree, maybe.

• 1:43:18Dax Shepard?

  If you have to pull it out, why?

• 1:43:19Speaker 01

  Some people probably use them for stuff.

• 1:43:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I mean, there's some good dish people make with the giblets.

• 1:43:25Speaker 01

  So anyway, that next day, you know, I had to make the turkey. I make the stuffing. I make the squash gratin.

• 1:43:34Dax Shepard?

  What are we doing for brown and serve biscuits? Any brown and serve rolls?

• 1:43:38Speaker 01

  No rolls. That's the part you're gonna hang.

• 1:43:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I think it's my favorite. No, I can't even eat them because they're glutinous, but I think that was always my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner is those brown and serve rolls.

• 1:43:52Speaker 01

  What's brown and I've never had this.

• 1:43:54Dax Shepard?

  I think they're already maybe a bit baked and then you.

• 1:43:57Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:43:57Dax Shepard?

  And they're brown and then you serve them.

• 1:43:59Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:43:59Dax Shepard?

  And you serve them hot. And then when you put the butter on, it just melts.

• 1:44:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:44:03Dax Shepard?

  So.

• 1:44:04Speaker 01

  I didn't make that. That's not.

• 1:44:05Dax Shepard?

  They're kind of like a Hawaiian sweet roll.

• 1:44:07Speaker 01

  Oh, I see. I think I know what you mean.

• 1:44:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:09Speaker 01

  Okay, so the squash gratin, the stuffing, the, there was a kale salad with this, these honeyed walnuts. I had to make the gravy.

• 1:44:21Dax Shepard?

  My God.

• 1:44:21Speaker 01

  I think I'm forgetting something. Oh, potatoes, mashed potatoes.

• 1:44:26Dax Shepard?

  Green beans.

• 1:44:27Speaker 01

  With like sour cream and chives and there it's, okay, I start cooking at 11 and people come at six.

• 1:44:34Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:44:34Speaker 01

  And I'm, I, it's the whole time.

• 1:44:36Dax Shepard?

  Never stopped. Seven hours.

• 1:44:37Speaker 01

  Yes, but as we're heading towards the end, I think I cannot make these green beans. It was the last thing I had to do and I was like, I'm not doing it. But then I looked in the mirror and I hated my face.

• 1:44:49Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:44:50Speaker 01

  It was the face of a failure.

• 1:44:52Dax Shepard?

  A quitter.

• 1:44:53Speaker 01

  A quitter, someone who cuts corners.

• 1:44:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:57Speaker 01

  And.

• 1:44:57Dax Shepard?

  Someone who only looks for one bag of giblets.

• 1:44:59Speaker 01

  I said, that's not me. That's not gonna be me. So I made it. And it was basically a homemade green bean casserole. You make it with green beans, mushrooms, you make your own roux.

• 1:45:11Speaker 01

  And it was everyone's favorite.

• 1:45:13Dax Shepard?

  Thank goodness.

• 1:45:14Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 1:45:15Dax Shepard?

  You almost cut that corner. It saved the whole meal.

• 1:45:18Speaker 01

  And I think the lesson is you gotta burn out.

• 1:45:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:22Speaker 01

  You gotta push yourself until you wanna die.

• 1:45:25Dax Shepard?

  Kinda like my motorcycle ride. And then you have the pride of having saw it through.

• 1:45:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:32Dax Shepard?

  It's a funny endeavor, right? Cause for seven hours, you're probably pretty miserable.

• 1:45:35Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:45:37Dax Shepard?

  Also that someone can eat it and say, you did a good job and you go, okay, it was worth it. I did a good job. By the way, I'm the same way. I'm not throwing stones in a glass house. Yeah.

• 1:45:47Speaker 01

  And it was so hot in my, I was sweating for seven hours because it was so hot in my kitchen because the oven.

• 1:45:54Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:55Speaker 01

  Whew.

• 1:45:55Dax Shepard?

  Ooh, baby.

• 1:45:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. Anyway, but it wa- it went great. It was super fun. Loved it.

• 1:46:00Dax Shepard?

  Marymount Fellowship?

• 1:46:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:46:04Dax Shepard?

  And did you guys give thanks?

• 1:46:05Speaker 01

  We gave thanks.

• 1:46:06Dax Shepard?

  Oh, good.

• 1:46:06Speaker 01

  It was, it was a great night. Oh, I want to make this clear. This is important for to like eight people who are listening.

• 1:46:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:14Speaker 01

  Our friends. I think it might seem to the pod like I'm neglecting the pod. That I'm rude because I'm not including them.

• 1:46:25Dax Shepard?

  I don't think that's what anyone thinks.

• 1:46:26Speaker 01

  Well, in case they're worried about that. The reason it's done like this, one is I can only host maximum eight people. In that kitchen.

• 1:46:35Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:46:36Speaker 01

  Next year, who knows? But I can only, I, I have a limit and we already do Thanksgiving together.

• 1:46:43Dax Shepard?

  That's right. It would be two Thanksgivings.

• 1:46:46Speaker 01

  It would be two of the exact same thing.

• 1:46:47Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:46:48Speaker 01

  So I do it with people.

• 1:46:50Dax Shepard?

  One would be homemade, one would be catered, and then people would inevitably vocally vote what, who did it better? And then someone's a loser.

• 1:46:59Speaker 01

  Want to.

• 1:47:00Dax Shepard?

  I bet you do. You kill a little competitive mouse.

• 1:47:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:03Dax Shepard?

  Rat. That's your rat side. You fucking rat. Um.

• 1:47:07Speaker 01

  Next year, we're gonna do it.

• 1:47:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I don't think that's a good. No situation where one of the two teams is losing when both people have been very generous.

• 1:47:16Speaker 01

  No, the other team, the cater team is.

• 1:47:20Dax Shepard?

  That would be our loss.

• 1:47:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, but not really.

• 1:47:24Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 1:47:24Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:47:25Dax Shepard?

  If everyone voted and the Shepherds Thanksgiving dinner wasn't as good as the Padmans.

• 1:47:30Speaker 01

  Well, if it's not as good because no one made it, no one made it.

• 1:47:33Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:47:34Speaker 01

  It's not like.

• 1:47:35Dax Shepard?

  But in my defense, we have 22 guests.

• 1:47:37Speaker 01

  Now you're taking it as an insult, but I'm telling you the.

• 1:47:40Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think, yeah, it would be if the verdict was, we liked Monica's better. And we had just fed 22 people.

• 1:47:47Speaker 01

  Well, in this case, I would be feeding the same amount of people.

• 1:47:50Dax Shepard?

  Great.

• 1:47:51Speaker 01

  It would be the same group.

• 1:47:52Dax Shepard?

  Great. So if we fed 22 people and then they said, hey, we liked Monica's better. I would feel like, well, then fuck you. You don't eat it next year.

• 1:48:04Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:48:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. You had to declare that you liked Monica's better?

• 1:48:08Speaker 01

  Well, that's weird because if I ordered sushi for everyone.

• 1:48:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:13Speaker 01

  And then like the next week, we went to someone like a sushi chef's house.

• 1:48:17Dax Shepard?

  And then I go, I can cook it better. And I'm gonna cook sushi. And then I want everyone to vote whether they liked Monica's sushi restaurant.

• 1:48:25Speaker 01

  You made it about voting.

• 1:48:26Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:48:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did.

• 1:48:28Dax Shepard?

  We both did.

• 1:48:29Speaker 01

  Well, I said I will be.

• 1:48:31Dax Shepard?

  You said you want to do that next year.

• 1:48:32Speaker 01

  I will be competitive if that happens.

• 1:48:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:35Dax Shepard?

  And I said, it's not a good idea because someone loses. Someone will be voted as the worst meal. And I feel like that's a weird thank you for hosting 22 people to be declared the worst of the two meals.

• 1:48:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's true. That is, I mean, I, I hear you. I just can't ever like. Anytime I order anything ever, I don't expect it to be as good as someone who made something.

• 1:49:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I do. When I order spicy tuna crispy rice from Katsuya, I damn well think it's better than any version I'm gonna make in my kitchen.

• 1:49:07Speaker 01

  Not you. Someone who is a sushi chef, someone who has the full recipe. That's not like someone who doesn't really.

• 1:49:14Dax Shepard?

  Sushi chefs.

• 1:49:15Speaker 01

  Doesn't really know what to do or is like, I, it's a little different.

• 1:49:21Speaker 01

  It's not like I'm making a pizza and we're ordering from Lucifer's. Like, yeah, I don't know how to make that, but I'm like following a really fancy, real recipe.

• 1:49:30Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:49:31Speaker 01

  That's like, I've also now been making for a couple of years.

• 1:49:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. I can understand why you would want to be told your homemade meal was better than the store bought one. I understand that.

• 1:49:41Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:49:42Dax Shepard?

  Fully.

• 1:49:42Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:49:43Dax Shepard?

  Do you understand that I, how I would feel if I hosted 22 people and paid for and catered a meal? And then they told me it wasn't as good as this other one they had.

• 1:49:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:49:52Dax Shepard?

  Can you imagine how that I would feel in that situation?

• 1:49:55Speaker 01

  To say anything. I just, okay, let's say that I order.

• 1:50:00Dax Shepard?

  Use, okay.

• 1:50:01Speaker 01

  I order for 22 people.

• 1:50:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:03Speaker 01

  I throw a big dinner party.

• 1:50:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:05Speaker 01

  And I order.

• 1:50:06Dax Shepard?

  And then I make spaghetti one night later.

• 1:50:08Speaker 01

  I order spaghetti from Little Dom's.

• 1:50:10Dax Shepard?

  I don't want anyone at the table to say, I like this better than the meal Monica bought us.

• 1:50:16Speaker 01

  Sure. We don't have to, no one has to say it, but don't you think in your heart that people should and would like your homemade spaghetti more? Then my purchased spaghetti from Little Dom's is a great spaghetti.

• 1:50:31Dax Shepard?

  I don't know. I think if you brought in the bolognese from Chateau Marmoche. I think it would probably be split and I would expect that.

• 1:50:39Speaker 01

  That's weird. I would never expect anyone to prefer that.

• 1:50:44Dax Shepard?

  That chateau is a good, that's a nice bolognese.

• 1:50:48Speaker 01

  It's a, it's fantastic. But it's not the same as when someone makes something.

• 1:50:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but I think your flavor, like whatever your flavor profiles, one might taste better. Okay.

• 1:50:57Speaker 01

  To me, the, it would be, the, the way it's really bad

• 1:51:02Dax Shepard?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:51:03Speaker 01

  is if I made Thanksgiving and then you made Thanksgiving, then a hundred percent, no one could ever, that's really horrible to say one is better than the other. Cause that's like. Your effort and work. It's like saying someone's writing is better than someone else's.

• 1:51:18Dax Shepard?

  Now, look, we'll see if next year you are able to prepare a meal for 22 people. Maybe you will. But I think at a certain point, if we were inviting 10 people, sure, make it. At the point where we're at 22 people.

• 1:51:33Speaker 01

  I'm not asking you to make anything.

• 1:51:36Dax Shepard?

  I don't think you are.

• 1:51:37Speaker 01

  You're making it that, like, you're like defensive that you're catering it?

• 1:51:42Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm not defensive. I'm saying I don't think we could make a Thanksgiving meal for 22 people.

• 1:51:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, it seems very hard.

• 1:51:52Dax Shepard?

  So because I don't think we can make enough food for 22 people, unless it's all we did this week.

• 1:51:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:51:58Dax Shepard?

  Which is now what we're gonna do.

• 1:51:59Speaker 01

  It would have to be potluck.

• 1:52:00Dax Shepard?

  Great. If it was potluck, then that's a whole different thing. But if we're making, I don't think we can make food for 22 people.

• 1:52:06Speaker 01

  Yes, too much.

• 1:52:08Dax Shepard?

  So, yeah, I would just, I would not need to know if they thought it was worse than another meal they had.

• 1:52:14Speaker 01

  That makes, that makes sense. Um, anyway.

• 1:52:18Dax Shepard?

  Well, it was hypothetical and almost it was real.

• 1:52:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:52:22Dax Shepard?

  And it's just hypothetical.

• 1:52:25Speaker 01

  I know. But anyway, the reason the pod is not invited is because, so, yeah, is because we already do Thanksgiving together and it's a beautiful, wonderful thing. And I don't need to, we don't need to have Thanksgiving and then the next week have Thanksgiving again.

• 1:52:41Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:52:41Speaker 01

  And so I have it with friends who I don't have Thanksgiving with.

• 1:52:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. No, I don't think anybody's hurt.

• 1:52:47Speaker 01

  Just in case.

• 1:52:47Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Were you mad, Rob?

• 1:52:50Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:52:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:52:51Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:52:52Speaker 01

  So would you have liked to have tried it?

• 1:52:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, I would like to try it.

• 1:52:57Speaker 01

  I appreciate that.

• 1:52:58Dax Shepard?

  The sweetest point in America. So weird. One part's rascal, one part's sweetest point in America.

• 1:53:03Speaker 01

  Okay. Another real, just super, super quick, gift guides went up. So this will come out. Monday?

• 1:53:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, three days after, four days after Thanksgiving.

• 1:53:15Speaker 01

  Okay, so they were up last week on my Instagram and people want to go look at my gift guides. They're on my Instagram. Also, they're on, I made a Substack for it so that I could write a little more. So what's on my Instagram is an abridged version.

• 1:53:34Dax Shepard?

  Go to a link tree?

• 1:53:35Speaker 01

  You can go to the link tree in my bio and you'll, you can go click on it. And if, if, if you feel like you want to read a little more, you can do that. And there are links to the items there.

• 1:53:46Dax Shepard?

  Wonderful.

• 1:53:47Speaker 01

  Okay, now a couple of facts really quick for Morgan. So the old, the riddle about where did they bury the survivors? So the brain teaser is if a plane crashed on the border of country A and country B, where would you bury the survivors? The answer is?

• 1:54:08Dax Shepard?

  You don't bury survivors, but I was the one who referenced this riddle, right?

• 1:54:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:12Dax Shepard?

  So I, I, I knew this old one.

• 1:54:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:54:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:15Speaker 01

  You knew it. Okay. The South African woman who sailed around the world in the documentary, CBS documentary called The Loneliest Race. It features Kristin Nuschafer, a South African sailor who became the first woman to win the Golden Globe race. And you said it was harrowing.

• 1:54:31Dax Shepard?

  It was harrowing and there was another competitor that got stranded in the middle of the Indian Ocean or something. She had to turn her boat around and sail for days to go rescue this person. And then when she came into the harbor a year later, or something like that, not 10 months, a year, the second place was like some hours behind her.

• 1:54:53Speaker 01

  Wild.

• 1:54:54Dax Shepard?

  And that seems impossible.

• 1:54:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. The doldrums, he said, are 10 degrees north and south of the equator.

• 1:55:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:00Speaker 01

  And there are five. Sesame Street started November 10th, 1969.

• 1:55:06Dax Shepard?

  Okay, for six years before I was born.

• 1:55:08Speaker 01

  And?

• 1:55:09Dax Shepard?

  And on my brother's birthday. Wait, what month?

• 1:55:13Speaker 01

  November.

• 1:55:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay, three days before baby David Robert Shepherd Jr. arrived.

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  Yes. And then Sesame Street was October 25th, 1971.

• 1:55:25Dax Shepard?

  It's very weird to think that it existed before I did because it was so in my childhood.

• 1:55:31Speaker 01

  Wait, sorry. Wait.

• 1:55:34Speaker 01

  Sesame Street started in 1969. The Electric Company started in 1971.

• 1:55:37Dax Shepard?

  Electric Company, which he was on, which was much funkier.

• 1:55:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. Why is Othello so hard to perform?

• 1:55:45Speaker 01

  According to AI, it's considered a challenging play to perform primarily because of its complex characters, particularly the nuanced portrayal of Iago's manipulative nature, the delicate balance of Othello's trusting nature that quickly turns to destructive jealousy, and the sensitive issue of race that can be difficult to navigate onstage, requiring careful interpretation to avoid stereotypes.

• 1:56:07Dax Shepard?

  Hmm. Avoid stereotypes.

• 1:56:09Speaker 01

  It's new. That's a new, that's new.

• 1:56:12Dax Shepard?

  Answer?

• 1:56:13Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Weird. That's weird. What? What? That's weird.

• 1:56:20Dax Shepard?

  I am so grateful.

• 1:56:23Speaker 01

  Real time, it's learning.

• 1:56:24Dax Shepard?

  I'm so grateful and lucky to spend so much time with someone who's so different than me. It's so fun.

• 1:56:32Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:56:33Dax Shepard?

  It is. It'd be so boring if you and I were the same.

• 1:56:36Speaker 01

  I agree, but why is that funny?

• 1:56:38Dax Shepard?

  Because you're like really suspicious. What the heck's going on? This is a different answer. Now, my guess is you could ask AI and you'll always get a slightly different answer.

• 1:56:47Speaker 01

  That's crazy to me.

• 1:56:49Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:50Speaker 01

  That's not weird to you that it's like updating that quickly?

• 1:56:54Dax Shepard?

  No, I think if on the same day you did it, it would be a different thing.

• 1:56:57Speaker 01

  Well, that's bad.

• 1:57:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but it just added more, had a little less.

• 1:57:02Speaker 01

  No, the other one you talked about Desdemona.

• 1:57:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:57:05Speaker 01

  This doesn't even reference her. Oh, because Trump.

• 1:57:08Dax Shepard?

  Like, Rob, will you right now type in the same exact question into the?

• 1:57:12Speaker 04

  What's the exact question?

• 1:57:13Dax Shepard?

  Google AI?

• 1:57:14Speaker 01

  Why is Othello so hard to perform?

• 1:57:20Dax Shepard?

  Let's see if Rob reads the exact same one you have, or if it's completely different.

• 1:57:25Speaker 04

  It's complex themes around race, jealousy and manipulation, which require nuanced acting and careful direction to navigate without perpetuating harmful stereotypes alongside the demanding role of Thelo himself.

• 1:57:37Dax Shepard?

  Is that word for word?

• 1:57:38Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:57:38Dax Shepard?

  It's not.

• 1:57:40Speaker 01

  But it's similar.

• 1:57:41Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:42Speaker 01

  Weird.

• 1:57:43Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:57:44Speaker 04

  Is it taking in the searcher?

• 1:57:46Dax Shepard?

  Well, it thinks each time, like each time it performs the task of scouring the internet and coming up with a thing. And so it's somewhat random and.

• 1:57:56Speaker 01

  Then there's no real, correct answer.

• 1:58:00Dax Shepard?

  But nor is, yes, agreed.

• 1:58:02Speaker 01

  I mean, this isn't a factual question.

• 1:58:04Dax Shepard?

  But nor is there in on straight Google search, which is like, you might come up with one article that has an opinion on it. And then there's another article that's got another reason why it's, so there's no unified theory in all the results and things written about it.

• 1:58:19Speaker 01

  Yes, but then you can look through a, but you, you do have a lot of options. This is just like deciding.

• 1:58:25Dax Shepard?

  Yep. Yeah, it is. But I'm just saying it's not less consistent. It's probably more consistent in a way because you, if you just get search results, you're going to get 10 different explanations on YFL is hard to perform through these different links. The AI version gave you guys pretty darn close to the same answer.

• 1:58:47Speaker 01

  Today, but last time it talked about Des De Mona.

• 1:58:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. It added that.

• 1:58:52Speaker 01

  They got rid of her because Handmaid's Tale.

• 1:58:55Dax Shepard?

  Wait, we're scrubbing people from history? Is that it?

• 1:58:58Speaker 01

  We're moving, like women are getting.

• 1:59:01Dax Shepard?

  Erased?

• 1:59:02Speaker 01

  Erased.

• 1:59:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh my God.

• 1:59:03Speaker 01

  Okay. Fibromyalgia, neuralgia. He has neuralgia. It's a sharp, shocking pain that occurs when a nerve is damaged or irritated. It can feel like burning or sensitivity to touch and can cause muscle spasms. Neuralgia can be acute, short-term or chronic, ongoing.

• 1:59:19Dax Shepard?

  Hmm. I don't want neuralgia.

• 1:59:20Speaker 01

  Me neither.

• 1:59:21Dax Shepard?

  Although maybe that's what I have. Right here. I can touch it immediately now. I know exactly where the nerve is.

• 1:59:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:59:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:59:27Speaker 01

  That sounds yucky.

• 1:59:28Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:59:29Speaker 01

  Are you gonna get it checked out?

• 1:59:30Dax Shepard?

  I don't know. Maybe.

• 1:59:31Speaker 01

  Don't complain about it until you get it checked out.

• 1:59:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:59:34Speaker 01

  I'd like you to get it checked out. Um, all right. That's it from Morgie.

• 1:59:40Dax Shepard?

  Don't complain about it till you get checked. I don't even know about complaining. I just.

• 1:59:45Speaker 01

  Well, I'm just telling you.

• 1:59:47Dax Shepard?

  That's off the table.

• 1:59:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:48Dax Shepard?

  I'm never allowed to complain about anything until after I've had it checked out.

• 1:59:51Speaker 01

  Yes, actually, that's a good rule. No, you can.

• 1:59:53Dax Shepard?

  You haven't had your vagina checked out from your nightmare, but I'm willing to walk down that road with you.

• 1:59:58Speaker 01

  I'm not complaining. I'm expressing a fear.

• 2:00:00Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:00:01Speaker 01

  That's different. Also, you can complain twice.

• 2:00:07Dax Shepard?

  That's the new house rule.

• 2:00:09Speaker 01

  But if it's like a body thing, you can complain a couple of times.

• 2:00:13Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:00:13Speaker 01

  Then you gotta get it checked out if it still hurts.

• 2:00:17Dax Shepard?

  I abide by that. That makes sense. Like, either fix it or shut up about it.

• 2:00:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:24Dax Shepard?

  Earmark that for, I want to earmark for the next fact check.

• 2:00:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:00:28Dax Shepard?

  Walking down the hill hiking from the turkey trot. And Delta calling me, being one step ahead of me emotionally. Calling me out and forcing me to walk through what really happened. And I was like, oh, my God, we're here. She's nine. And she's now doing for me what I have been doing for her and her whole childhood.

• 2:00:51Speaker 01

  Wait, now you have to kind of say it quickly. Can you say it really quick?

• 2:00:54Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Top of the hill, coming down, she's cold, she's complaining about being cold, she's complaining about being really hungry. And then like 40 minutes later.

• 2:01:05Dax Shepard?

  I, she's saying, I had now ordered macaroni and cheese, told Kristen to start making it by the time we got home. So there'd be macaroni. And then I say like, she says, are you gonna eat? What are you gonna eat when we get home? And I go, oh, my God, anything. I'm starving. And she goes, you're starving too? And I go, yeah. And she goes, why didn't you say anything about it? And I go, well, I didn't want to complain about it. And she immediately goes, are you saying that to let me know that you don't like that I complained about it? And I go. Oh, am I doing that? Maybe to some, on some degree, yeah, I didn't feel like I was doing it, but yeah, maybe. And she goes, well, I don't, um, I don't understand why I should feel bad sharing how I feel.

• 2:01:49Dax Shepard?

  And I go, yeah, that's totally true. I said, but I guess I'm always thinking in life, would I want to be next to someone that's complaining the whole time? I just try to act in a way that is what I would want other people to act. So I think about, do I want to take a hike with someone and listen to them complain for an hour and a half? I don't want to, so I just don't do that because I'm assuming no one else would want that. And she goes, well, I would want to always be my full self around everybody. And if someone doesn't want to be around me because I'm being my full self, that's fine. But I don't think I should not be my full self. And I go,

• 2:02:24Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 2:02:25Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's a really legitimate point of view. I think there's a lot of merit to that. And then we're walking and I'm just not feeling great about it. And I go, I know what's going on, Delta. What really happens is when you complain about being hungry, I want to fix it. I can't, or on top of a hill and I can't make it go away for you. And now I'm uncomfortable because I can't solve a problem for someone I love.

• 2:02:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02:50Dax Shepard?

  And so really it's just my problem. I want to be able to fix it. And she goes, Daddy, I'm not saying any of this so you can fix it. I'm just saying it so you know what I'm going through.

• 2:03:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:02Dax Shepard?

  I was like, Jesus Christ. But she had to unravel that whole thing for me.

• 2:03:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:07Dax Shepard?

  I just said, I didn't complain about it. And without any real awareness, I was being passive aggressive.

• 2:03:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:12Dax Shepard?

  And she's just like, she's not taking that. She's like, what was that? Is that, does that mean what I think it might mean?

• 2:03:17Speaker 01

  Oh, I love her so much.

• 2:03:19Dax Shepard?

  And I just realized like, oh, wow. My mom talks about this. She's like, you know, I knew at this given age, you were smarter than me, which is a weird position for a parent and child to be in.

• 2:03:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:30Dax Shepard?

  And I've heard her say that to me and never thought that in my own arrogance. I'm not like, well, I don't think they're going to fly by me. Fucking A.

• 2:03:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:37Dax Shepard?

  I think she flew by me at nine years old on this hike.

• 2:03:41Speaker 01

  She's indomitable. God, I love her.

• 2:03:44Dax Shepard?

  Me too. All right, that was my, I don't need your market now. All right.

• 2:03:48Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:03:48Dax Shepard?

  Love you.