MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast

This is your pilot speaking, if you look out the left side of the podcast, you will find a needy virtual pet. If you look out the right side, there are hundreds upon hundreds of worms in top hats crawling up from the dirt. And if you look on the wing, you’ll see a large pile of loose spaghetti and meatballs resting on top of a pizza. Enjoy your flight! Suggested talking points: I Eat Plane Wires for Food, Mandagotchi, Nerual Net with My Little Guy, Do You Have Access to the Means of Production, Classic Italian Mix-em-Up Palestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby?

• 0:21Speaker 01

  It's the start of something beautiful. A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripening into a precious friendship.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  I could've never seen what was coming for me. Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach. My life, it feels like. Life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better, it's better with you. This is true, ah, it's better, it's better with you. My life, ah, it's better with you.

• 1:09Travis McElroy?

  Hello and welcome to my brother, my brother and me in advice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. Uh, vroom, vroom. Uh, what's up, Trav Nation? I'm your middlest brother, uh, Travis, big dog wolf, wolf McElroy. If you look at your left window, you'll see my babyest brother, Griffin McElroy. Hello. I'm not on the plane, I guess. No, he's on the wing. Uh, we're trying to shake him off and, uh, so fasten your seatbelts. I'm a nasty skyman. Yeah. I'm gonna get this plane. Yeah, everybody tried to, I don't know why I drew attention to it. I actually tried

• 1:51Travis McElroy?

  to ignore, uh, the nasty skyman who's chewing on the wing.

• 1:56Griffin McElroy?

  I hope no one's.

• 1:57Travis McElroy?

  Excuse me, excuse me, attendant, flight attendant, may I have your attention over here, please? Uh, yes, sir. How can I? There's a nasty skyman on the wing and my wife and I paid extra. I'm gonna get this plane. The pilot did say to try to ignore the nasty skyman out there. Can I offer you some warm nuts? I'm trying to enjoy the latest Alex Foley mystery and this young man on the wing.

• 2:23Travis McElroy?

  He's chewing on the window. We're sure that he won't be able to get through. Don't worry about it. The 747 is a very secure, safe airplane, I bet. I eat plane wires for food. He says that every time. We've never seen him do it. He does bite the wires, but I don't think he digests them.

• 2:44Griffin McElroy?

  Can I smell through the luggage? I don't know what else a nasty plane man would. Listen, in that skit, we just sort of cooked up live improv style, which is like fun. I feel like, Travis, you put me outside of the scene and cast me as the nasty sky man without a second thought.

• 3:00Travis McElroy?

  That's called a gift. That's called giving your partner a gift.

• 3:03Griffin McElroy?

  I don't feel like it was a gift. I felt like it was a challenge, but it was also sort of an exclusionary one.

• 3:09Travis McElroy?

  Well, at first, I thought of you as like the Grand Canyon, and then you chose to be on the wing of the plane, I guess.

• 3:16Griffin McElroy?

  Right. But even if I was the Grand Canyon, I wouldn't be like an active participant in the scene. So just like, I've never done improv, but I don't think at any point, one of them can be like, and you're a tree, so that you can't get to play in the same.

• 3:27Travis McElroy?

  How long do you have to do this show before you can say you've done improv? Yeah, a little bit here, a little bit there. These podcasts, what you have to do. I think it all adds up to one improv at some point. At least one, you've improv, you've improv. We've done 747 episodes. I think by this point, you can say I've dabbled at least.

• 3:44Griffin McElroy?

  That's why we're doing airplane stuff, by the way. Didn't figure it out.

• 3:48Travis McElroy?

  Again, in 10 episodes, because 757, that's a plane too. That's another plane.

• 3:53Griffin McElroy?

  Doing all the plane models. Yeah.

• 3:54Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, they're all the planes. Yeah. Have they worked through, were there six 26s at some point? Were five 25?

• 4:01Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, man, maybe.

• 4:02Travis McElroy?

  It was just Cessnas. Um, listen, I don't remember a time in school when the path of pilot was open to me.

• 4:11Griffin McElroy?

  Sure.

• 4:12Travis McElroy?

  I mean, I know people did end up as pilots, but I, in my life,

• 4:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 4:18Travis McElroy?

  no one at any point was like this way to that career path. Do you think that? Everyone read me instantly as like, whatever room the potential pilots are in, we don't need Justin in that room. Yeah, I, I remember when I was taking, uh, like life skills, which I think was the rebranding of Home Ec, and I absolutely knocked my cross stitch project out of the park. And my teacher was like, hey, pretty good cross stitch of a wolf in front of a moon. You'd make a great pilot. And I said, no, thank you. I'm going to be a podcaster. And I think that's where I missed it.

• 4:53Griffin McElroy?

  I've never looked at a kid and thought, I want to be on a plane there driving.

• 4:58Travis McElroy?

  Really?

• 4:59Griffin McElroy?

  Because their children, they can't reach all the, all the stuff, all the buttons and toggles and.

• 5:04Travis McElroy?

  I think that about your son, Henry. I can't believe you don't.

• 5:06Griffin McElroy?

  You'd let Henry fly a plane with you in it?

• 5:08Travis McElroy?

  Not now, but I'm saying I see within Henry, an uncut John.

• 5:14Griffin McElroy?

  A pilot's, a pilot's spirit.

• 5:16Travis McElroy?

  A pilot's heart. Yeah, he has the heart of a pilot. You don't see that? A pilot's heart. Maybe people didn't see that in me. They, they, they found, they looked at my heart and found it lacking. Yeah, you have the heart of a podcaster. I'm sorry. I look like the kind of guy that would fly into a bunch of birds and just flip the fuck out.

• 5:31Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Oh, my God. Can you imagine?

• 5:34Travis McElroy?

  One bird, I'm done.

• 5:37Griffin McElroy?

  One, not even a flock, if any of us were flying over the Hudson and we sucked in a single, small, sick goose into our engine. I would just take the yoke, push it straight down and be like, sorry, everyone.

• 5:51Travis McElroy?

  I think.

• 5:51Griffin McElroy?

  They got, they got us.

• 5:52Travis McElroy?

  If I was a commercial pilot, I think I would get called into whatever my boss's office. And they'd be like, hey, you need to stop asking like the control towers and radar people if they see any birds on the flight path. Like, yeah, no, like that's, I don't think radar can even pick up birds, but you ask every five minutes. Uh, here's a quick impression of me in a pilot career path. You guys can, uh, who did this get with me last time? Okay. This time Travis in this get, you are the control tower. Okay.

• 6:25Griffin McElroy?

  Like the actual building? Cause that's basically what Travis did to me last time.

• 6:29Travis McElroy?

  Or like a John Cusack. But he's getting good at it. Pushing ten. Yeah, push the ten. Uh, control tower, this is Justin McRory, come in. Yeah, it's me, John Cusack. Can I help you? Hi, John. Uh, yes, I'm getting very bored and I don't want to anymore do this. I don't want to do this anymore. And the other guy said he won't take over again. Cause he's already done it four times. So I could use the bathroom and I don't want to do it anymore. So I would like.

• 6:55Griffin McElroy?

  I'm the guy with the batons. I'm outside. I can't hear anything you guys are saying.

• 7:00Travis McElroy?

  So can I get down, please? No, like you want to stop? I want to get down. To get down, I don't want to do it anymore. God dang, these batons are heavy. I want to run around. Like you're asking to land? Land or not land, I want, I need to go run around. I need to like, take a lap and the other guy said he won't fly again. Okay, you just need to go back, uh. I got the zoomies. You gotta go back to the, uh, passengers and see if any of them has the heart of a pilot. What if your pilot, huh, passed you and just like you heard him mumble like, got the zoomies. Got the zoomies. Trying to walk it off. He's stopping by everybody like, hey, what are you watching? What's it? Can I, hey, give me one of the earbuds? You want to fly?

• 7:40Travis McElroy?

  I need snacks. What? I'm the pilot and I need snacks. Snacks on this plane suck. They always suck. Did anybody bring anybody like chocolate covered almonds or? I've been looking for some sweet. I've been having a lot of salty. And my guy, M and M's? I told them, I told the Delta, they gotta get little airheads bites. I love those things. Get airheads bites for the sweet. They don't listen. Hey, do you guys remember when we used to smoke on planes? Get up there and fly. No, I'm just saying like, there was a time when it was like steak dinners and. Yeah.

• 8:14Griffin McElroy?

  Why, and why can't we vape? It doesn't make anything.

• 8:18Travis McElroy?

  I watched Catch Me If You Can and I was like, I want to do that. And then I get here and they're like, you have to stay in the chair the whole time. And there's like no lounge or whatever.

• 8:28Griffin McElroy?

  They should make.

• 8:28Travis McElroy?

  This sucks.

• 8:29Griffin McElroy?

  They should make a Catch Me If You Can too. And instead of it being about a guy doing a bunch of cons, it's a guy who gets really good at secretly vaping in places where he's not supposed to. And it could still have Tom Hanks in it, like.

• 8:45Travis McElroy?

  It's called Catch Me If You Care.

• 8:47Griffin McElroy?

  You, you, how did you vape on It's a Small World in Disney, in Disney World?

• 8:53Travis McElroy?

  And he just pulls out like a toilet paper tube stuffed with dryer sheets and he's like, I knew it! Mba da, mba da ba da. And then you hear, Justin, I love your podcast. It's like, thank you very much. I don't have time to talk right now.

• 9:08Griffin McElroy?

  I'm going to prison, I guess.

• 9:09Travis McElroy?

  This isn't a good moment. I'm being trespassed. Um, th- this is an advice show. Okay. Still, my youngest sibling got me a Tamagotchi for kind of like, it's the 2024 re-release, the version I had as a kid, which I was obsessed with back then. It's as fun and cute as I remember. And I've been, is it as fun as you remember?

• 9:33Travis McElroy?

  Okay. It's as all-consuming as I remember. I've, I've been keeping it out of my person so I can take care of it and not let it die. However, I'm a nearly 30-year-old man who has a full-time job and rides the bus in grocery shops and stuff. And inevitably, sometimes the little guy gets hungry and beef, so I'm out doing errands around other adults. Is there a way to care for my little plastic egg toy in public without looking like a large child? And that's from Pixel Parent in Kentucky. I got, uh, Bebe a Tamagotchi for Christmas because she like asked about them and was interested.

• 10:04Griffin McElroy?

  Is it one of the new dope, all-color ones? Or is it like, uh, the re-release?

• 10:08Travis McElroy?

  The re-release.

• 10:09Griffin McElroy?

  Like Tiger Electronics.

• 10:10Travis McElroy?

  I want her to like, experience the retro throwback. And then as she was like, unboxing it, she was like, asking me and Teresa about it. And Teresa started describing like, well, you don't, you can't turn it off, right? Like, if you stop paying attention to it, it will, it will die. And you have to, and Bebe answered, like, I don't want that. What? And had like a full-blown anxiety, like, no. And handed it to me. And she was like, figure out how to turn it off. And all I can think is, this same child's been asking me for a hamster for so long. Yeah. To be her own. And I was like, I don't know, like, you've just, you've ju- this is the moment where like, the lawyer asks the like defendant a question, and they just blow the whole thing wide open.

• 10:55Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. It's also that kid, that classic kid reaction of like, I don't want the pressure of thinking this might die, so kill it in front of me while I watch. Like, I want to watch you do it. Take the battery out. Well, what do you think that does?

• 11:08Griffin McElroy?

  We need, it's time to normalize virtual pets.

• 11:14Griffin McElroy?

  It's time for these things to be on everyone's person all the time. I'm thinking more of a Giga Pets direction because Giga Pets, you could, I, you could make them fight. And that's really what I wanted. Like, that's really what I wanted is to make it, is to prove that I can raise the strongest pet.

• 11:32Travis McElroy?

  That's so interesting, Griffin, because what you've just blown open for me is that Tamagotchis are seen as so childish. And yet Pokemon Go swept the world.

• 11:40Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 11:41Travis McElroy?

  And it's like, yeah, how is that, that different?

• 11:44Griffin McElroy?

  Give me.

• 11:45Travis McElroy?

  Except they fight.

• 11:46Griffin McElroy?

  A little guy. Just give me a little guy that I have. Put him in my watch, my, my little guy in my watch that I get to. Doop de boop up. Whenever I'm a woman.

• 11:57Travis McElroy?

  What would all human interaction be like? Like every uncomfortable conversation you've ever had. If you could just be like, hey, quick battle? Yeah. I'm gonna knock out a quick, quick battle.

• 12:05Griffin McElroy?

  So good, so choice. I see you're also a fire type, huh?

• 12:10Travis McElroy?

  You wouldn't, yeah, and it's like, would you like a quick battle? Like, I mean, everybody, like even old people.

• 12:16Griffin McElroy?

  Government mandated.

• 12:18Travis McElroy?

  Whack, like whack, like old whack people, even them have them, you know what I mean? Like even your Nani, not, my Nani's not whack, but like, you get the idea. Yeah, she's old. All have them, quick battle, no problem.

• 12:28Griffin McElroy?

  You could.

• 12:29Travis McElroy?

  That would be so great. If, if we could figure out a way to connect like Pokemon or Tamagotchi or Giga Pet to like mining crypto. Billion.

• 12:41Griffin McElroy?

  Now you're, now you're putting the douche chills in me, Trav.

• 12:45Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Oh, I actually think that's what Logan Paul was trying to do with Zoo Coin. Actually, now that I say it out loud.

• 12:50Griffin McElroy?

  Put the shiver in me, Trav.

• 12:51Travis McElroy?

  I think I've reverse engineered the Zoo Coin scam.

• 12:55Griffin McElroy?

  That's a shame that you did that.

• 12:57Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, no, I said it and then I hated it.

• 13:01Griffin McElroy?

  Let's go back to the other thing where you could.

• 13:03Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, ignore the thing that I said where I created Zoo Coin.

• 13:07Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 13:07Travis McElroy?

  I'll say this, if you could live authentically on your Tamagotchi, all you're gonna garner is envy. Because if I saw someone on a bus and I didn't have anything to play with and they had a Tamagotchi, I would think, hmm, looks pretty fun. Wish I had that. I even get a little closer, like look over there, sure, like, wish I had that. And if you are a person in the world who that is bringing you joy, no matter what that object is, everyone else will just look at you with, with, I wish I had that joy. One of the people in the cast of Twenty Side Tavern had a Tamagotchi that she was taken care of. And my, every time it would beep or something, like the first time I was around when it beeped, she like kind of apologized.

• 13:48Travis McElroy?

  And I was like, no, man, it seems really grounding and really mindfulness, like. I'd rather have a friend that gives me Tamagotchi updates than a friend that feels the need to bring me every uber distressing headline they, they strove across like some sort of like wild cat bringing me terrifying dead birds when I least expect it. No, thank you. Just go ahead and give your eggs some milk or whatever. Yeah, I love it.

• 14:12Griffin McElroy?

  I think they could come in different form factors. We're done talking about this question. So sorry. I know that you probably wanted like concrete advice. Instead, the three of us are just kind of.

• 14:22Griffin McElroy?

  Live authentically and live your dream. Now, as for this man mandatory Tamagotchi that everyone's gonna have, I think different.

• 14:29Travis McElroy?

  Mandagachi.

• 14:30Griffin McElroy?

  Mandagachi is really, really cool.

• 14:32Travis McElroy?

  Gotta got you.

• 14:33Griffin McElroy?

  Gotta got, yeah. You, you, maybe they can look like a little, like a beeper. Cause then if you see someone with a little beeper sized thing here and it beeps and they do stuff with it, I'm not gonna ask you about that. That could be a health related thing.

• 14:47Travis McElroy?

  Especially if it's one of those where like the screen slides up to reveal a keyboard. When I see those in like old shows now, or somebody has a phone that flips out and they slide it out. It's like, I actually regret that we moved away from that. That looks so cool and someone does that.

• 14:59Griffin McElroy?

  That is pretty cool. I don't know that I love it for this, Trav, and I'll tell you why. I like, I want a little guy. I like, I want a little guy and I don't want to have, I don't want to have internet access. I don't want to do other stuff on my little guy.

• 15:11Travis McElroy?

  Type messages to your little guy.

• 15:13Griffin McElroy?

  I would prefer to talk to, talk to him, I guess.

• 15:16Travis McElroy?

  Oh, it's got voice. It's voice enabled? Thank you. I'll neural net with my little guy. Okay.

• 15:22Griffin McElroy?

  I may not need, actually need to talk to my little guy. Now that I think about it, I might just want to be, take care of my little.

• 15:26Travis McElroy?

  What if he gets lonely?

• 15:28Griffin McElroy?

  I would press the button to make like a stuffed animal appear or something.

• 15:32Travis McElroy?

  What if you get lonely?

• 15:35Travis McElroy?

  It would press the button to make a stuffed animal appear for you. I think what if we had it as just a chip implanted at birth and it grew with you, but it was like your little avatar, right? That grew with you and you had to take care of, but then they were also reminding you, like, stay hydrated and get enough exercise and eat your vegetables. So like they're your little like Jiminy Cricket with you all the time.

• 15:58Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, like a conscience.

• 16:00Travis McElroy?

  Like a conscience, finally.

• 16:02Griffin McElroy?

  But.

• 16:02Travis McElroy?

  Finally. They can battle, but they can battle.

• 16:04Griffin McElroy?

  They can battle.

• 16:05Travis McElroy?

  They can battle.

• 16:05Griffin McElroy?

  So that would be cool if Pinocchio rolled up on some other boy and was like, oh, you think you're, oh, what'd you say? Talk shit about my nose? Did you say some shit about my dad's accent? Uh, it's time to throw down.

• 16:18Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:19Griffin McElroy?

  Time to do your tool. Go Jiminy.

• 16:21Travis McElroy?

  I choose you. Use guilt trip. My cricket has blades on its arms.

• 16:27Griffin McElroy?

  Awesome.

• 16:28Travis McElroy?

  My cricket, my cricket has cyber blades. What if Jiminy Cricket was just a cyther?

• 16:34Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 16:36Griffin McElroy?

  That would be so cool with Jiminy Cricket as a cyther.

• 16:39Travis McElroy?

  Be great. Hey, uh, here's another question. Every year in my hometown in Florida, they throw the annual Sop Choppy Worm Grunting Festival. For the listeners who don't know what worm grunting is. Read a book. More's the pity. Basically, you take two sticks, rub them together and magically make worms crawl out of the ground. This year, they're accepting submissions from local artists to design their t-shirts and merch. It's great for me since I'm an artist by trade. However, I'm having some trouble finding inspiration for the design. Previous years, they've had worms dressed as burlesque dancers, worms playing the banjo, and worms in cowboy hats riding crabs. Brothers, how do I compete with that? What would you like to see on these shirts? Happy grunting, wondering in Wakula. I'm not usually wild about the like, make jokes for me.

• 17:23Griffin McElroy?

  Make a joke for me. Yeah, but this is so strong. And this Sop Choppy Worm Grunting is three powerful, Sop Choppy Worm Grunting is, it sounds like an incantation. It sounds really, really, uh, ethereal and special.

• 17:41Travis McElroy?

  What about just like a real close up picture of a worm's face? And it's like really intense and it's just going.

• 17:50Griffin McElroy?

  Ah. That's cool.

• 17:52Travis McElroy?

  Real close up, like Rin and Stimpy when they used to do the like the close up look at their face and it was all grotesque.

• 17:59Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. That's cool. That would be good.

• 18:02Travis McElroy?

  Or a worm giving birth to Sonic and they're grunting.

• 18:08Griffin McElroy?

  I could tell how you feel about the joke you made Travis by the sort of paralysis, the facial paralysis that followed it. It was really great. Travis in that moment was making some, was really cheesing, trying to get something out of Travis, Justin and I, because if we didn't laugh at what he just said, it would be a great betrayal of him in front of the public.

• 18:29Travis McElroy?

  And I am sorry for, it seemed the right choice at the moment. Now I feel kind of guilty for leaving you out to. Do you want me to say it again? This really works, guys. This really works. You really, it, it's called worm charming. And because of the vibrations in the ground, it makes the worms come up. They did studies, animals do it too. They did it in Dune. Get this worm, no, get, listen, birds do it. That's. Bees do it. Even little fleas do it. Everybody's grunting out of your four worms. The birds go on the ground and they start stomping around and the worm's like, what in the hell is happening? Then they go out and get eaten. That's messed up. Okay, but a first bird had to do that at some point in nature history where all the other birds are just looking like, what's Stan doing?

• 19:13Travis McElroy?

  And he's just standing on the ground stomping his feet and they're like, this, this crazy guy, what's he doing? And then some worms start coming up and even Stan is blown away. He's like, I didn't think that would work. I just stomped a bunch of worms came up.

• 19:26Griffin McElroy?

  This is gonna be a, a great idea that I'm about to say, so brace your asses. Your design should be a worm riding on the back of a bigger worm, like a Dune guy did.

• 19:37Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I was gonna say a Dune worm thing too. So what is, just ask, I want to ask one thing.

• 19:43Griffin McElroy?

  Okay.

• 19:43Travis McElroy?

  Is it, how is it on top of it? Is it's like legs?

• 19:47Griffin McElroy?

  Did you see, did you see Dune 2?

• 19:48Travis McElroy?

  No, I did, I did, I did. Is it just like squatted on top?

• 19:51Griffin McElroy?

  In Dune 2, he rides it like a, like he's doing a trick on a, like a jet ski.

• 19:58Travis McElroy?

  Like he's like standing, right?

• 19:59Griffin McElroy?

  Striding, he's standing and he's got reins.

• 20:01Travis McElroy?

  And if the worm could be in a Fremen suit.

• 20:04Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:04Travis McElroy?

  I think that'll sell it.

• 20:05Griffin McElroy?

  Damn, that scene is so cool. Fuck.

• 20:07Travis McElroy?

  You know what I'm sitting here thinking? Do you know how cool that has to be to watch it? Not think like, I'm gonna make a joke about this on my podcast, but instead think like, man, I wish I was up there with him.

• 20:17Griffin McElroy?

  Can you imagine being Tim, Timmy on that day?

• 20:20Travis McElroy?

  With Timmy, with Timmy chimmy?

• 20:22Griffin McElroy?

  Being Timmy chimmy and knowing that that was the day you get to do the worm scene?

• 20:27Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 20:27Griffin McElroy?

  I bet he was stoked out of his goddamn gourd.

• 20:29Travis McElroy?

  Do you think they got to end that day and he was like, I don't think we got it. I don't think we got it. I wanna try again.

• 20:35Griffin McElroy?

  Try again, please.

• 20:35Travis McElroy?

  Maybe the lighting, I think the lighting was off.

• 20:38Griffin McElroy?

  Timmy chimmy got to keep like the apparatus?

• 20:40Travis McElroy?

  Got to keep the worm?

• 20:42Griffin McElroy?

  Got to, well, not the, obviously didn't have a whole worm.

• 20:44Travis McElroy?

  What?

• 20:45Griffin McElroy?

  But definitely, they definitely had part of the worm's lumpy back and I think he probably got to take it home.

• 20:49Travis McElroy?

  Well, it's not a real worm. I assume they built, like when they did, like Jurassic Park, they built a large, like kind of animatronic worm for him to ride on.

• 20:56Griffin McElroy?

  There's so much good Dunes, there's so much worm stuff in Dune, you'd be crazy not to use some of this shit in your design.

• 21:04Travis McElroy?

  Dang, I wish we could watch Dune.

• 21:07Griffin McElroy?

  Damn, I'd watch Dune right now.

• 21:09Travis McElroy?

  Can we cancel the rest? Dude on the podcast, that'd be cool.

• 21:13Griffin McElroy?

  That'd be so sick, man.

• 21:14Travis McElroy?

  I wish I had a third monitor to have Dune on in the background. If I had Dune right here, maybe I do. Yeah. Maybe I Dune. Oh. Hey, hey guys, hey guys, how you doing?

• 21:26Griffin McElroy?

  How you doing is?

• 21:27Travis McElroy?

  That's good.

• 21:28Griffin McElroy?

  Our new podcast.

• 21:29Travis McElroy?

  Do the Dune? How you doing?

• 21:31Griffin McElroy?

  How you doing?

• 21:33Travis McElroy?

  Do the Dune.

• 21:34Griffin McElroy?

  It's a Friends, Friends slash Dune. Um, so I don't think you need any other ideas. It feels like we didn't give you-

• 21:42Travis McElroy?

  What about a picture of a human being on a hook? And it's like the hook is going through the human's belly and they're like, oh. Is the worm holding it? Is the worm involved? And then a worm has a fishing hat and you see the worm like, holding the pole.

• 21:57Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool. That's like a protest design. That's like a protest political cartoon.

• 22:00Travis McElroy?

  Everybody in the picture. The humans loving it. The humans loving it. Like, I was wrong, this is- Good.

• 22:07Griffin McElroy?

  In my version, the would the human wouldn't be loving it.

• 22:09Travis McElroy?

  There are people who get suspended from hooks for fun and pleasure. Yep.

• 22:14Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, you listen.

• 22:16Travis McElroy?

  My in-law is a welder and loves showing me his work. He is so kind and so excited and I want to give him the same energy back, but I know nothing about welding. How do you compliment someone's welding? That's from Metal Man in Montreal.

• 22:31Travis McElroy?

  Now, the obvious answer is to say, well, done. You know, like.

• 22:35Griffin McElroy?

  Well done. Yeah, they love that shit.

• 22:37Travis McElroy?

  They love that. Clean seams. Clean seams. Don't say seamless, because there is a seam there. That's part of it.

• 22:45Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, if it was seamless, that's a shitty weld, actually.

• 22:48Travis McElroy?

  Tight, tight circles. Here's what, here's what I'll say. I welded in college. Right. The things that I remember most. God, it stinks.

• 22:58Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, does it?

• 22:59Travis McElroy?

  It smells so bad and anything you wear while welding is gonna stink forever.

• 23:05Griffin McElroy?

  Oh, that's a shame. What do you think is making that smell?

• 23:08Travis McElroy?

  If you like the smell, I guess. It's like, it's like, it stinks to weld. It also is wicked dangerous.

• 23:15Griffin McElroy?

  So dangerous.

• 23:16Travis McElroy?

  Because like, they give you a special mask that when it turns on, you can't see shit. So they've given you a powerful, like, lightning gun and then said, hey, make sure you're in position when this starts, because otherwise you can't see what the fuck you're doing. It's so, my approach to life is so different from other people's, because if someone was like, Go off game. Hey, Justin, let me show you my, my, my welding. I'm instantly like, right now, let's go, show me.

• 23:49Griffin McElroy?

  Yes, drop it.

• 23:50Travis McElroy?

  I want to like, go like, take, let's go out to the welding place. I gotta weld right now. I know you have the welding shit. Like, don't hold out and don't be like, it's too dangerous, Justin, you know, yada, yada, yada. Just let me play with the thing, please. Thank you. And I'll just stick pieces of metal randomly together. I don't need to do anything purposeful. Exactly, Travis. I don't want to mess up whatever you're doing. I just want to be like, you know what I mean? Like, just glue a bunch of metal together for a bit, for just a second.

• 24:16Griffin McElroy?

  I feel, I feel that. I'm gonna say blanket statement, that applies to any of the means of production. If you have seized any of the means of production and have access to them in your home.

• 24:27Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 24:27Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'd like to see how that, how that works.

• 24:30Travis McElroy?

  Tumbling, pottery, glassblowing, anything, even like a loom? You have a loom?

• 24:36Griffin McElroy?

  A loom?

• 24:38Travis McElroy?

  I mean, but, but between, between my 3D printer and my cricket, I'm basically Iron Man over here. I, I, you know, I'm making, I can make whatever. Could you do it in a cave? Hmm, would you, could you with a fox? Hmm.

• 24:53Griffin McElroy?

  Hmm.

• 24:53Travis McElroy?

  If it's consensual? Hey, listen.

• 24:59Travis McElroy?

  You could say something along the lines of how much weight you think you could suspend. I feel like that's a thing that welders would love to hear, like if they've made like a corner weld and you're like, oh yeah, you could hang like, you could hang what, like a hundred, 300 pounds? Yeah. What if you just like quick spin kick, just like right into the weld and there's like, you crumple, your ankle's broken. It's like, wow, that is really good.

• 25:24Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's a neat trick, Juice. You can only do it twice.

• 25:28Travis McElroy?

  It's true. I only got the two ankles.

• 25:30Griffin McElroy?

  Only got the two ankles to compliment with.

• 25:33Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, the next time you go for that compliment and they're like, hey, look at this weld and you start gearing up and they're like, no, it's fine. It's fine. Please don't do it. It's been six months of intense physical therapy, please. You just healed up. My metal ankles, the doctor said that can't happen anymore. And then you kick it with your metal ankle and your ankle breaks and you're like, I should have gotten you to weld it. What was I thinking? For me.

• 25:58Griffin McElroy?

  There's nine types of welds.

• 26:00Travis McElroy?

  Oh.

• 26:01Griffin McElroy?

  I think you could have Googled them in the span of time you have taken to email us a question. I'm learning all about welding today. I mean, it's less fun, but you want practicality. I, I'm surprised, sometimes you see a weld and it looks like a wavy pattern, like a cake frosting. It's been applied to it and that's good.

• 26:20Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. I, okay, jokes, jokes out of the room. I took a blacksmithing class or two and I did some welding in there. And I love it.

• 26:28Griffin McElroy?

  So cool. I love it. Blacksmithing doesn't excite me as much because it's like you take one piece of metal, you make it look like something else. Being able to take two pieces of metal and attach them, that seems crazy to me. That seems fucking wild to me.

• 26:41Travis McElroy?

  That, Griffin, what you just said, myself as a journeyman blacksmith, really deeply offended me. The idea that you're like, blacksmithing, I could take a piece of metal, Griffin, and turn it into art or a weapon.

• 26:55Griffin McElroy?

  I think I understand blacksmithing. You get the thing hot enough and then you can change how it looks. That's cool.

• 27:01Travis McElroy?

  With the, with the gentle strike of my hammer, I can shape the very essence of earth into whatever you need.

• 27:10Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool. And I know, but I know how that works. I don't get welding. I don't know what's fucking going on in there. It's attaching two pieces of metal forever. How are they doing this stuff?

• 27:23Travis McElroy?

  They're getting it so hot. I, I think we need the metalworkers to step in here. I made a video about how to fake an interest in woodworking back in, uh, say 2020. And guys, that video has 264,000 views. That is outside of our normal performance. That means that people are finding this instructional video I made and watching it, learning how to compliment a woodworker. We need our metalworkers, step in. Yeah. Please tell us the.

• 27:51Griffin McElroy?

  Nice things to say about metalworking.

• 27:52Travis McElroy?

  In general, by the way, that should be a whole series of like, somebody gave me a knitted gift. And I need to know like, how to not just be like, oh, cool cozy. I need deeper layers than that. Give me how to compliment knitted craft work. Give me how to compliment, uh, like pottery. Give me how to compliment these things. Give me how to sound good talking about like, American basketball history. Anything you guys want to start throwing at me to teach me how to sound?

• 28:22Griffin McElroy?

  That's school. At a certain point, you're just describing school.

• 28:26Travis McElroy?

  No, yeah, I remember that class where they told me how to sound smart. Talking about like, somebody's wood carvings, Griffin. What are you?

• 28:33Griffin McElroy?

  Sometimes I'm watching one of them Greens videos.

• 28:36Travis McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 28:36Griffin McElroy?

  And I'm like, and I, cause it's like, it sounds cool what they're talking about. And they're like, you want to learn about some old boat? And I'm like, hell yeah, Greens, Greens boys, let's do it. And then I, but then I think I catch them. After a few minutes, I'm like, this is school. You tried to get me back into school. Nice try.

• 28:55Travis McElroy?

  It's school 2.0. Cause if somebody said to me, hey, sit down and watch these Green Brothers. Talk about old boat. And at the end, we're going to test you on it. And depending on how well you do, it increases our funding. I'd be like, oh, fuck off.

• 29:11Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, that's that. I guess it is.

• 29:12Travis McElroy?

  You do it and then get the best score you could and then feel good. Yeah, I would. Okay, I would. You would. I would. But that's not the point. Respect, self-respect, a self-respecting person with dignity. Yeah, someone who cares more about their own self-worth than proving to others how good they are at things wouldn't do that.

• 29:33Griffin McElroy?

  No.

• 29:34Travis McElroy?

  Hey, uh, would it be all right with you guys if we took a quick break?

• 29:37Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah, I'm so tired.

• 29:39Travis McElroy?

  Let me think. Yeah, I think it's all right. I think let the ad guys step in for a second. Yeah. Bring in our stunt doubles. To the money zone.

• 29:59Travis McElroy?

  Hey, listen, the, the, it's time for you to get out there and start making your way in the world today. It takes everything you got, but the first thing it takes is a great looking website. And that is easier than it sounds if you're willing to harness the power of Squarespace. But frankly, your dad and I have been supporting you for too long. We've let you live in the bo house this whole time. And it's time for you to make a name for yourself. I'm an old sailor. That's right. On a boat, on a nearby boat. And he's outside the wing. He's on the wing of the plane right now.

• 30:32Griffin McElroy?

  Squarespace lets you make a beautiful website and engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on my terms. That's right. I've partnered with Squarespace to determine all the terms.

• 30:47Travis McElroy?

  This is like when they have like Travis Scott do a meal or something at the McDonald's.

• 30:52Griffin McElroy?

  It's a lot like the Travis Scott meal, um, except it's me and Squarespace said you get to decide if every site's good enough or not. Um, and I'm a pretty harsh critic when it comes to sites. Uh, it's got, um, that's not true. You can do whatever. Uh, Squarespace payments, they got no matter how they want to spend the money and what vehicles that that money travels in. Squarespace payments gonna get you there. Uh, and they, you make it look all good. They have a, a.

• 31:19Travis McElroy?

  You make it look all good.

• 31:21Griffin McElroy?

  You make it look all good.

• 31:22Travis McElroy?

  You make it look all good.

• 31:23Griffin McElroy?

  Make it look all good with the unrivaled suite of visual design effects built and ready to go on any Squarespace website. We've all.

• 31:30Travis McElroy?

  Griffin, I feel bad enough about the suite of visual design effects that I've been developing. For you to say, I'm not even rivaling Squarespace in this public forum is like unnecessary. They don't even see you in the same league, Justin. I'm saving these files as fast as I can. I'm putting them in the cloud as fast as I can. I can't keep up. It's a whole company.

• 31:53Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Sorry, man. You get, you're just never gonna catch up. No, not because Squarespace is gonna keep making them. And even if Justin keeps making them apace, he will never catch up. He's so far behind Squarespace.

• 32:06Travis McElroy?

  I'm sorry, Dad.

• 32:06Griffin McElroy?

  And it's not fair. Squarespace kicks so much ass. It's not fair that they, that Justin has to try and fight them.

• 32:15Travis McElroy?

  And yet.

• 32:16Griffin McElroy?

  And yet, go to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com/ mybrother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 32:28Travis McElroy?

  We're blasting off. We're blasting off to savings and fiscal responsibility. And if you look out the window of this rocket, out on the wing, you'll see Griffin McElroy.

• 32:38Griffin McElroy?

  That's right. I'm not going to take the lead on this ad, though. Nice try, hater.

• 32:43Travis McElroy?

  Oh, Griffin just flew off the wing. We're moving too fast. Oh, he's burning up on reentry. Hey, it's me, Justin McElroy. I'm on the other wing. Back to you, Trav. Ah, thank you so much, Justin. Rocket Money is there to save you money and to help you feel fiscally responsible, keep track of your budgets, all of these things. It's a new year. It's the perfect time to get organized, set goals, all of that stuff. And they can help you across so many different options, all kinds of accounts. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Scan your bills to find opportunities to save.

• 33:27Travis McElroy?

  And Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million and canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year using all of the app's premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

• 33:44Griffin McElroy?

  Financial.

• 33:45Travis McElroy?

  Your financial goals.

• 33:46Griffin McElroy?

  Financial goals.

• 33:47Travis McElroy?

  Faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/ mybrother today. That's rocketmoney.com/ mybrother. Rocketmoney.com/ mybrother.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Who's ready for some science?

• 34:01Speaker 01

  With sources and nuance.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 34:09Speaker 04

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 34:11Speaker 05

  Well, let's learn everything we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  From super heavy elements to super heavy pumpkins.

• 34:17Speaker 04

  From quantum physics to the history of swearing.

• 34:20Speaker 05

  As well as special guests like Tom Scott and Hank Green.

• 34:22Speaker 04

  And some funny jokes from me.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Me, Caroline Roper.

• 34:26Speaker 05

  Dr. Ella Hopper.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  And Tom Lum.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  So join us next time where we will learn about everything.

• 34:37Travis McElroy?

  Are you playing a video game right now?

• 34:39Griffin McElroy?

  Maybe you put on a podcast while grinding in an RPG.

• 34:42Travis McElroy?

  Or maybe you just don't want to hear that boss fight music one more time. Been there. I'm Matty Myers.

• 34:47Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Jason Schreier.

• 34:48Travis McElroy?

  And I'm Kirk Hamilton. We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast. A podcast you can listen to while you do other things.

• 34:55Griffin McElroy?

  Like driving, or cooking, or playing video games.

• 35:00Travis McElroy?

  On Triple Click, we share our thoughts on the latest games.

• 35:03Griffin McElroy?

  And breaking news out of the video game industry.

• 35:06Travis McElroy?

  And we also talk about other stuff besides games.

• 35:09Griffin McElroy?

  So while you're doing something else, make sure to check out Triple Click.

• 35:12Travis McElroy?

  Listen on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

• 35:19Travis McElroy?

  Would you like another question?

• 35:20Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 35:21Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. Okay.

• 35:24Travis McElroy?

  I just started a new job working in a warehouse where it is required to stand the entire shift. Gross. One of my, yeah, one of my New Year's resolutions was to get fit. So I thought I might as well work out while I'm standing. Okay. I've tried to march in place, but it made it look like I constantly had to use the bathroom. Any ideas for some secret exercises I could do that won't be weird? That's from covert cardio in Cleveland.

• 35:50Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, it would be so tight if you could just vibrate your body all over.

• 35:57Travis McElroy?

  Like the belts?

• 35:58Griffin McElroy?

  Like the weight loss belts? No, not like the belts.

• 36:00Travis McElroy?

  It's shaking all the time.

• 36:01Griffin McElroy?

  It would be imperceptible.

• 36:03Travis McElroy?

  Right.

• 36:03Griffin McElroy?

  This sort of like shifting, just like.

• 36:06Travis McElroy?

  Like a full body cleanse?

• 36:07Griffin McElroy?

  You don't have to make a face, I think, to do it. Because if I walked around and I saw someone standing stock still because the vibrations are so minute, making that face, I would know that they're vibro sizing.

• 36:17Travis McElroy?

  What if they had to have raised eyebrows to do it?

• 36:19Griffin McElroy?

  No, I don't think there can be any kind of visual tell. I don't want to know if you're vibro sizing or not. You should be able to do it even if you're walking around.

• 36:25Travis McElroy?

  This is kegels. You're describing kegels.

• 36:28Griffin McElroy?

  I don't know if you can walk around and do kegels at the same time.

• 36:30Travis McElroy?

  You can't. If you focus up, man, get, get it right and tight. Now, here's my question.

• 36:37Griffin McElroy?

  I'd say I want to see it, but both of your guys' offices are low.

• 36:39Travis McElroy?

  Doing it right now. Now, why, this wasn't the question, but I'm perplexed as to why you wouldn't be allowed to sit down in the warehouse. Is the assumption that at any moment, at any moment, there could be a truck come or delivered. It's relevant.

• 36:56Griffin McElroy?

  It's a, it is irrelevant. However, I have to imagine.

• 36:59Travis McElroy?

  Capitalism, man, I don't know. I hear, I will say, treat yourself to some of the inserts. If you're going from not standing all day to standing some of the day, get the inserts.

• 37:08Griffin McElroy?

  Get the inserts.

• 37:09Travis McElroy?

  Get the all-star shows. Get, get the inserts. That's a really good place to start. You can't have like improvements in your health. If you're undone by muscle strain from, uh, you know, be on your feet all the time. So start with the shoulders.

• 37:23Griffin McElroy?

  Get the inserts.

• 37:24Travis McElroy?

  It may take you a month to get used to that. Like, don't even try to start exercising yet.

• 37:30Griffin McElroy?

  I'm also gonna go ahead and recommend get super good at forklifts because that's a sit down opportunity every time you're on forklift.

• 37:36Travis McElroy?

  I don't think this person wants to sit down more. I think they're trying to get healthy. Here's how you do it. Are you ready? What's that? It's two birds. I got this one stone. I want to murder them. So. You can't sit down. You want to exercise more. You're going to find a wall. You're going to press your back against it and go into. Like you're sitting down, right? With your arms out.

• 37:57Griffin McElroy?

  And that can feel good.

• 37:58Travis McElroy?

  Yeah. And you're gonna work, it's a core workout, arm workout, leg workout, everything, right? And eventually you're gonna build the muscles so good, you won't need the wall anymore. You're just gonna be able to sit down in the air.

• 38:08Griffin McElroy?

  Can you even imagine? Can you even imagine having that superpower? Such super hyper-developed muscles that I could just sit.

• 38:18Travis McElroy?

  Anything else except like, hmm, and sit down in midair all the time. Like I'm having the deepest think on philosophy.

• 38:27Griffin McElroy?

  I want.

• 38:28Travis McElroy?

  Economics.

• 38:29Griffin McElroy?

  That is cool. I prefer vibrosizing just because I think that it is gonna be a easier solution in the long run. And also, if you touch like some glass, it'll like hum because of the vibration. Like, if you hold a glass of water, you can like see the ripples on the surface. Like, there's so much cool stuff we could do with vibrosizing.

• 38:54Travis McElroy?

  Could you get a partner in this, another coworker, and you guys just lean back to back against each other? When and then eventually, maybe a third person joins, that fourth, that fifth, and pretty soon, you're just a stack of leaning people, all resting against one another, supporting each other. I call it a union. And this union supports each other.

• 39:18Griffin McElroy?

  Tell me more, Travis.

• 39:20Travis McElroy?

  Ah, thank you for asking. So the union, it's like they're all leaning against each other.

• 39:23Griffin McElroy?

  Does the boss get to join the leaning, Travis? Is he in charge of the union?

• 39:27Travis McElroy?

  No.

• 39:28Griffin McElroy?

  The boss is in charge of who leans on what, right?

• 39:31Travis McElroy?

  No, the union is its own things and makes its own decisions and has what I call this leaning negotiating power. Till you get chairs.

• 39:41Griffin McElroy?

  I guess. I don't know. I don't understand why we can't get the dang boss in there, though.

• 39:46Travis McElroy?

  Well, because the boss with all the money in his pockets is too heavy to lean against. The guy we should be listening to, though. He's got all that money.

• 39:54Griffin McElroy?

  He probably knows how to lean the best, or else he wouldn't be the goddamn boss, Travis.

• 39:59Travis McElroy?

  Well, it's because he saves that money to not spend on chairs. And he has his own chair. This is the thing. He doesn't need to lean.

• 40:06Griffin McElroy?

  Well, his chair is, his chair, he explained it once. His chair is where he does all of his best boss thinking. And he has to sit down in order to do his best boss thinking.

• 40:19Travis McElroy?

  That's why he can't lean on the union, right? Because he would get too distracted from his boss work.

• 40:24Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. Well, he can still support the union in other ways.

• 40:27Travis McElroy?

  Yes. And he should.

• 40:30Griffin McElroy?

  Okay. And this is, and this will get me fit, you said?

• 40:33Travis McElroy?

  It will. Emotionally and financially.

• 40:37Griffin McElroy?

  Cool. That's awesome. It's really cool. That's a good invention you just came up with.

• 40:42Travis McElroy?

  Thank you. I've just come up with it.

• 40:44Griffin McElroy?

  That's cool.

• 40:44Travis McElroy?

  You're all welcome.

• 40:46Griffin McElroy?

  Shelly.

• 40:50Travis McElroy?

  I want a munch squad.

• 40:59Travis McElroy?

  I want to munch squad.

• 41:04Travis McElroy?

  Welcome to Munch Squad, a podcast with a podcast profile and the latest greatest brand eating. It has been a while since we've been able to like really dig through everything that's going on and things are moving at a speed.

• 41:14Griffin McElroy?

  A lot of news.

• 41:15Travis McElroy?

  And January is the time. Like if you listen to like the Empty Bowl, my cereal podcast, you'll know. Don't plug your other podcasts right here in the middle of your podcast within a podcast. We're already one podcast deep in the podcast.

• 41:28Griffin McElroy?

  Justin, you're welcome to plug any of your projects that you want. You are an equal contributor in this enterprise.

• 41:32Travis McElroy?

  Stand up from where you're sitting and look in a fucking mirror. Okay?

• 41:35Griffin McElroy?

  Go find a mirror.

• 41:36Travis McElroy?

  I don't have a mirror in here.

• 41:37Griffin McElroy?

  That's fucking baloney. That's insane, Travis.

• 41:40Travis McElroy?

  I mean, I can kind of see myself in the reflection of my fish tank. There's a lot going on. Let me just tell you guys. I want to start with like the new year because that's, you know, obviously top of mind three weeks ago. Sonic kicked it off with a late winter menu packed with hydration fun and of course indulgence. Sonic's angle is that they have drinks too. That's all that Sonic's thing is like they have drinks and they'll serve you breakfast whenever you want.

• 42:06Griffin McElroy?

  I've never seen any kind of fast food or quick service restaurant advertise hydration before, as in like come to us, we'll get it. We will get the, the wet parts better.

• 42:15Travis McElroy?

  Also indulgence isn't really the buzzword for January. Yeah. Well, that is all changes when you're buying a drink at Sonic with their sour dragon fruit recharger with Red Bull. Too many words. Too many words. Ultimate midday pick me up. It's a blend of Red Bull lemon lime soda. You get it. At Sonic, we know the new year calls for fresh ways to refresh and recharge, said Mackenzie Gibson. Our late winter menu is all about embracing fun and flavor in 2025. From the bold new bacon deluxe double Sonic smasher. Why are there so many words? Strawberry fusion fizz. We're making it easier and more delicious for fans to keep the tastiest resolution of all to add more flavor to the. Now, this is what I wanted to really tell you about, guys.

• 43:00Travis McElroy?

  Hey, real quick, though, can I ask, do you think when they're developing these things, do you think that any of them consider the actual person sitting in their car, having to lean over to the microphone and go, uh, yeah, can I have the dragon fruit fizz?

• 43:15Griffin McElroy?

  Sour cherry dragon fruit.

• 43:17Travis McElroy?

  Punch in the face with, uh, Red Bull and ice. You don't have to do that. I don't do that. Like, if someone's like, we have chicken cooked. I was like, I'll just have the chicken. Just bring me a chicken one. I'm not gonna say a name.

• 43:30Griffin McElroy?

  You say red, give me Red Bull drink.

• 43:32Travis McElroy?

  And they know. The Red Bull drink, you know the one I mean. Fans, this is the important thing, though, guys. Fans can also start the year knowing that they're contributing to a cause we're celebrating. As a portion of every drink purchased supports public education through the Sonic Lime Aids for Learning Initiative. Powered by the Sonic Foundation, Sonic has donated more than $28 million since 2009 to fund local classrooms.

• 43:53Griffin McElroy?

  Jesus.

• 43:54Travis McElroy?

  Making it one of the largest programs supporting public education in the US. Wait, that's, that's wrong. Doesn't say corporate or private business programs.

• 44:04Griffin McElroy?

  Aw, man.

• 44:06Travis McElroy?

  No, it's emotionally much more bracing than that, Travis. It says making it one of the largest per- Sonic Lime Aids for Learning is one of the largest programs supporting public education in the United States. And that's 28 million spread out over 16 years. In other news, CC Pizza is launching spaghetti and meatballs pizza. For schools! CC Pizzini. It's fucking CC Pizzini. The culinary mastermind behind CC's Pizza and Endless Buffet is introducing a limited time spaghetti and meatballs pizza to continue the brand's 40th anniversary celebration. It's a one of a kind pizza bringing together three beloved Italian comfort foods.

• 44:51Travis McElroy?

  Spaghetti, meatballs, and pizza. Featuring spaghetti noodles, savory meatballs, which we can all agree is better than sweet meatballs.

• 45:00Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah.

• 45:00Travis McElroy?

  Rich marinara sauce and melted cheese on CC's signature crust. So they just slop some noodles on there? Yeah, bud, they just slop some noodles on there. What's CC's got? What's, oh, sorry, it's not CC, it's Jeff Hetzel, the president of CC's Pizza. Spaghetti and pizza have always been at the heart of celebrations and cherished memories, making this the perfect way to honor CC's 40 years of bringing pizza together. In that point, I do. Agree with Jeff Hetzel. Sure. That a spaghetti and meatball pizza is a perfect way of celebrating CC's.

• 45:32Travis McElroy?

  Our new spaghetti and meatball pizza celebrates our legacy of comfort, value, and innovation. And challenging food concepts.

• 45:41Griffin McElroy?

  And then it goes to schools? And then they give the money from the, from the spaghetti?

• 45:46Travis McElroy?

  CC's does not. CC's actually takes money from schools. CC's is not. Sonic helps schools. CC's goes to school.

• 45:53Griffin McElroy?

  The way you attach those, Justin, I thought that this was gonna end with our, we, we're calling it the school getty and meat school pizza.

• 46:00Travis McElroy?

  I just wanted to brighten your spirits with the knowledge that as the weather gets colder, and you learn that one of the biggest programs funding US education is Sonic's Lime Is For Learning, they're warming things up over at CC's with a recipe you can't find anywhere else. All I can think- It's equal parts fun, familiar, and delicious. If somebody brought me a pizza box and I opened it, and I found without warning, atop of my pizza, a big pile of loose spaghetti noodles, my brain would inherently think, oh no, something's gone horribly wrong.

• 46:30Griffin McElroy?

  There was a big earthquake only at the Italian food restaurant.

• 46:33Travis McElroy?

  There was a big Italian mix them up.

• 46:36Griffin McElroy?

  Classic Italian mix them up. It's my favorite heist movie from the, from the eighties.

• 46:43Travis McElroy?

  My pizza is ruined. You know what I mean? I don't think I would be excited about this.

• 46:48Griffin McElroy?

  Okay, cool. This is cool, Juice.

• 46:50Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, so this is our last story this week. Cheat on your diet with Arby's. Your secret is safe with us. I wish it said cheat on your wife with Arby's.

• 46:59Griffin McElroy?

  Cheat on your spouse with Arby's.

• 47:01Travis McElroy?

  Pull out American Pie on one of our giant roast beef sandwiches and cheat on your wife with Arby's. It's January, the time for fresh starts, new goals, and the promise of healthier habits. Everyone's on board, hitting the gym, meal prepping, saying no to dessert, and feeling good about it. But let's be real for a second, by mid-January, we're all looking for that one cheat day to give our resolutions a break. And who wants to fess up to it? No one. That's where Arby's comes in.

• 47:26Griffin McElroy?

  Arby's! Arby's handling this with the amount of sensitivity that, uh, I would come to expect from Arby's The Meat House.

• 47:35Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, so this is great. A wild assumption that everyone's on board. Hey, people who have clicked to read an Arby's press release. Yeah, we know you're on board with them. New Year, Same You is the name of the menu. Huh.

• 47:50Griffin McElroy?

  Cool.

• 47:50Travis McElroy?

  Only menu help you design designed to help you cheat on your goals without the judgment from your friends and family in five select Arby's locations.

• 48:02Griffin McElroy?

  They are in Cleveland, Las, Cleveland, Las Vegas, Miami, Chicago, and Atlanta. That tracks it.

• 48:08Travis McElroy?

  That is great. Now, listen, here's the magic. What these five locations have done is they renamed some of the items. So the double beef and cheddar, they're now calling salad with dressing. And they're calling the regular jamoca shake, a green smoothie. And they're calling small curly fries, steam vegetables. So they are celebrate, Arby's is celebrating the new year with some fucking Orwellian doublespeak madness where they're just calling foods different things. The story that they're envisioning here is that I have made a resolution. Yeah. To be healthier. Yeah. To eat healthier. And on my cheat day, I'm gonna sneak over to Arby's.

• 48:50Travis McElroy?

  And then when I get home and I guess of my spouse or somebody is like. Where somebody that loves. I need to check the receipt. Yeah. And I hand them an Arby's receipt that says, I got a salad with dressing, a green smoothie and a steam vegetables that my whoever accountability partner is like, you went to Arby's and got a salad with dressing, a green smoothie and steam vegetables? They've never had those things at Arby's before. This is, this is, okay, this is Trav, this is the actual quote, brother. At Arby's, we know that keeping your resolutions are hard, especially when you have pressure from family and friends, said Jeff Baker.

• 49:32Travis McElroy?

  This menu is just the perfect way to treat yourself while saving you the headache of having to explain to everyone. What the fuck, Arby's? You have the rest of 2025 to hit your goals. And at Arby's, we just wanna, you know, have a fun, stress-free indulgence. Stress-free. No judgment, no guilt, just good food that makes sticking to those resolutions a whole lot easier. So go ahead, order that salad. Enjoy those steamed vegetables. And let's let Arby's help you through this time of year with a side of humor and a whole lot of flavor. I'm so glad, Justin, that Arby's sent this to you to, uh, to kind of edit before they published it to everybody.

• 50:11Travis McElroy?

  Cause I have so many notes. Um, they, they would be so better off if they had taken this in the direction of, hey, we're Arby's. And we know you wanna, you know, treat yourself a little better and maybe make some mindful decisions regarding like your eating habits and your health. But if you have someone in your life-

• 50:26Griffin McElroy?

  That's an incredibly personal topic that we, Arby's, should not probably take a shot at.

• 50:32Travis McElroy?

  And that's up to you. But if you have someone in your life who's giving you shit about occasionally having like some fries, that's fucked up. Come to Arby's. No, Travis, you're, but what you're, uh, it's not that Arby's thinks that they're helping you out. Because what they are saying though, is what they're envisioning is a situation where your partner, it's easier and less complicated for you to explain that, yes, you actually did get a small steamed vegetables at Arby's. Like, and here's why. Allow me to explain. So that actually you are embarrassing yourself because it was healthy, Arby's city.

• 51:11Travis McElroy?

  And sorry, in this universe, they, I guess they also assume I've already told my partner I'm going to Arby's. They're, it's worse than that. They're telling you that you're cheating on your diet with yourself. So what they're saying is you'll get a receipt out three weeks later, be like, I went to Arby's, fuck me. This is classic me. Oh, wait a minute. I got a salad. All right.

• 51:34Griffin McElroy?

  Could you play it? You get home and your significant other's like, hey, I know you're concerned about your heart health and you've been trying to cut red meat out. That's a big, big wet pile of, uh, red meat you have there. You say, no, it is a salad with dressing.

• 51:47Travis McElroy?

  Have you seen, is it cake, baby? So this is like that, where they made it look, is, is it salad? It is. No, I'm not gonna cut it open. Just trust me. It's gonna be really hard to explain to people that in the span of five years. We went from McDonald's actually selling a salad you could buy to Arby's calling roast beef sandwiches salads. That's like, that's where we're at. It's took about five years.

• 52:11Griffin McElroy?

  It's gastro juice. It's gastro. It's a salad that looks like a roast beef sandwich. Fucking Wiley Dufresne undone it again.

• 52:20Travis McElroy?

  Gastro, gastro lighting is more, is more like it. That's what we're getting for Arby's right now. Who I feel bad for it?

• 52:27Travis McElroy?

  I feel bad for anybody who pulls up to Arby's and is so excited to see that they now have salads. Yeah. And like steamed vegetables. And they're like, yeah, then they get it and they're like, oh, something. There's been a classic Italian mix them up here. Thank you Wendy's for continuing to offer your raggedy salads. Fighting the good sad fight. You've got the salad equivalent to soldiers eating their shoe level leather during the Civil War. You keep dumping your busted down chili on it and calling it a taco. Your chili that already has your cut up hamburgers. So it's a double repurposing and you keep putting that busted stuff out there. Good for you guys. Thank you for that. McDonald's got too embarrassed during COVID. They're like, nah.

• 53:12Travis McElroy?

  It's in a cup. Still not fun enough.

• 53:15Griffin McElroy?

  Do you like Wendy's?

• 53:17Travis McElroy?

  Do I like Wendy's?

• 53:18Griffin McElroy?

  Yeah. Do you like Wendy's nuts drag on your face?

• 53:26Griffin McElroy?

  Guys, I'm fucking those left, right and center over here.

• 53:30Travis McElroy?

  That's good. We can't, we can't end any, end any stronger than that. Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We're coming to Florida. February 20th through the 22nd, 20th to 21st, we're going to be in Tampa doing my Bim Bim and Taz, first ever Taz in Florida. And February 22nd, we're doing my Bim Bim in Jacksonville. Tickets are on sale now. If you go to bit.ly forward slash McElroy. Tours. Speaking of tickets on sale now, Champions Grove, I think there's like four left. So hurry over and grab those, get your packages at championsgrove.com. Come join us in Hawking Hills, Ohio at a real life castle to play some us. It's me and other creators. I didn't invite Griffin and Justin this year, but you can come join us. Champions Grove.com.

• 54:14Travis McElroy?

  Didn't invite me last year, just paid for myself. I invited you to pay.

• 54:18Griffin McElroy?

  We have available a Miggy plush in coordination with U2's. That is only available until January 28th. Miggy, of course, being the mascot and weirdly enough producer of, of the McElroy family clubhouse. You can find a link where you can get this beautiful Miggy plush that is only available until January 28th at bit.ly slash U2's Miggy. That's Y O U T O O Z Miggy. And pick it up. I have one. It's adorable and I love it. We've also got some other merch over at macronymerch.com. There's an energy dragon pin.

• 54:57Griffin McElroy?

  Speaking of clubhouse, 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. That's all there. Did we come up?

• 55:07Travis McElroy?

  Thank you.

• 55:08Griffin McElroy?

  With an outro for the thing. Thank you to Montane for these four themes. My life is better with you. Thank you, Montane.

• 55:14Travis McElroy?

  So I think we should invite our listeners to share with us their irrational or maybe silly fears that they have chosen to let go of this year. And to set the tone, I will go first. Wow.

• 55:30Griffin McElroy?

  You, Travis will go first?

• 55:32Travis McElroy?

  Yes, I will.

• 55:33Griffin McElroy?

  You're going out on a limb here. I, it'll be hard to convince me that laughing at other people's fears.

• 55:39Travis McElroy?

  Yeah, Griffin and I were pretty firm about this at the beginning. In the year 20 thunder drive faster than fear. I shall let go of my fear of the robot lady from Superman three.

• 55:54Travis McElroy?

  Very brave Travis. I take it all back. Very brave. My name is Justin McElroy. I'm Travis McElroy.

• 55:58Griffin McElroy?

  I'm Griffin McElroy.

• 55:59Travis McElroy?

  This has been my brother, my brother, me, kiss your dad, square on the lips.

• 56:05Speaker 01

  It's better with you. My life, oh, it's better, it's better with you. My life, oh, it's better, it's better with you. Yes, it's true, oh, it's better, it's better with you. My life, oh, it's better with you.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.