Foley Finds Out Kippy's Secret! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Are You Garbage is back with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW AYG MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ AYG 2026 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Watch Route 66: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSkJS1gCDR4 Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Sponsored By: Mars Men: For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at https://Mengotomars.com BetterHelp: When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/garbage. Promo Code: Garbage Warby Parker: Our listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at https://WarbyParker.com/GARBAGE — and using our link helps support the show. Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00H. Foley?

  La La Land, Los Angeles, California, the boys are coming. We're gonna be there, May 7th, at the Balesko Theater as a part of the Netflix is a Joke Fest.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Yes, and then we're gonna be in Portland, Maine, at the Empire Comedy Club. Pittsburgh Improv, and Hilarities out there in Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets, these shows are gonna sell out. These are great markets, we love the homies and bozos in these cities, we'll see you there.

• 0:23H. Foley?

  See you there. Hey, everybody out there, welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Got 'em.

• 0:29H. Foley?

  This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out if they're gonna be classy.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:36H. Foley?

  They're just a big ol' piece of trash.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Trash, trash, trash!

• 0:39H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's right, I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at ya. On a beautiful day, we're out back here with Toody's, in the new addition, she's upstairs having a little bit of couchocula.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:50H. Foley?

  My co-host is coming at ya from across the table, it doesn't matter what I would've said, I would've got a "eh, eh, meh, meh, meh", but he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and I love him.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Uh, you're in a mood.

• 1:00H. Foley?

  CEO of Are You Garbage? No, I'm not, we're having a good time. Luke's a jerk-off. That's not on me.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  I can't, I can't.

• 1:07H. Foley?

  This kid's really been running his mouth, ladies and gentlemen. Taking shots at me. Kevin Ryan, my old pal. Hey, buddy.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  What's up, thanks for having me, man, appreciate ya.

• 1:18H. Foley?

  Good to be here.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  I look over your goal.

• 1:21H. Foley?

  Alright, I'll leave you guys to it.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  What's up, gang? Shout out to ya, as always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are climbing the charts, get your Werner ladder out and climb the motherfreaking charts.

• 1:33H. Foley?

  It's gotta be a Werner!

• 1:34Speaker 01

  Gotta be a Werner, that's what we're doing. Uh, and then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage, you go over there, you get all our bonus content, and then obviously, we just announced, uh, Atlantic City, the boys are going down to shore this summer.

• 1:47H. Foley?

  Yeah, a lot of fun shows.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  One night, Friday, July 10th, at the Hard Rock, that's gonna sell out, it sold out last year, get your motherfreaking tickets.

• 1:54H. Foley?

  Do we do the Hard Rock last year?

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Nah, we did the Borgata.

• 1:57H. Foley?

  We did the Borgata.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  And that was a little too classy for the boys.

• 2:00H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  A little too classy.

• 2:01H. Foley?

  Down there at the Hard Rock, July.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. Bah with the bah, da bang, da bang, diggy diggy.

• 2:08H. Foley?

  I mean, how much more AYG does it get than that?

• 2:10Speaker 01

  I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, obviously, listen, that's, you know, that's a, that's a big, that's a Philly market. That's a motherfucking Philly market, so get them tickets, cause, uh, everyone's gonna be down a short.

• 2:22H. Foley?

  Yeah, they got that hot restaurant down here, twenty-eight, twenty-five, or something like that.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah.

• 2:26H. Foley?

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 2:26Speaker 01

  I know it's, I know of it, yeah.

• 2:28H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:29H. Foley?

  My brother's been there twice.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, you got him in, that's what you're bringing up the story, you pulled some strings.

• 2:34H. Foley?

  Our boy Jesse, so I'm gonna say, shout out to him.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  You're just my boy, don't like, you're not our boy, you're my boy.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  You're really frame-mogging me, dude.

• 2:43H. Foley?

  I don't know, I don't know where you stand these days.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 2:46H. Foley?

  I mean, you could be with this guy, Luke. He's got a lot to say lately, but I love you, kid. You're an inspiration, and, uh, you know, you're a role model, let me believe it, at twenty, I swear to God, at twenty-seven. I wish, twenty-eight.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:59H. Foley?

  Hey! Hey, you.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Hey, happy birthday.

• 3:01H. Foley?

  I do have, um, somewhat disturbing news. That, that I think I have to share with the audience, um, unfortunately has to do with you.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:15H. Foley?

  Uh...

• 3:16Speaker 01

  I think I know where this is, is this the thing you couldn't wrap your head around?

• 3:19H. Foley?

  Uh, I think it's gonna take away a lot of your convictions.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:23H. Foley?

  Like, if you were a prosecutor, a lot of the shit that you run your mouth about, that you say this, you say that, that you make fun of me for, is gonna get washed away.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I've never seen you react to a sentence I said.

• 3:37H. Foley?

  I don't, Luke's not gonna understand this.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  He's not, and I, I gotta be honest with you, I don't fully understand it. I, dude, you were smoking a cig, you flicked the cig, what, and he's done, he's like, three drags, he flicked his cig and went...

• 3:49H. Foley?

  I just think the homies and the bozos should all know, ladies and gentlemen, Kevin was a fan, a big fan, of the television show that ran from nineteen ninety-eight to two thousand four on CBS.

• 4:04H. Foley?

  Called Becker.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  What the?

• 4:06H. Foley?

  With Ted Danson. Kevin watched Becker.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Blew the roof off the place.

• 4:12H. Foley?

  Becker. The show about the misanthropic family practice in the Bronx.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Was that where it took place? Riverdale?

• 4:26Speaker 01

  I had no idea.

• 4:27H. Foley?

  You watched Becker. Listen, that was after Cheers. I remember being like, what the fuck is Sam Malone doing? With these fucking dorks?

• 4:39Speaker 01

  So you're upset of fictional characters? The characters?

• 4:42H. Foley?

  Get out of here with that crap.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  There's another fictional character hanging around who's a dork? Listen, I don't-

• 4:47H. Foley?

  CBS?

• 4:49Speaker 01

  What's the problem?

• 4:50H. Foley?

  You stink. That's the problem. You're running your mouth like you're some kind of cool guy. You might as well have been watching Designing Women, which I would have respected a little bit more.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  That's a great program. That's a great program. Yeah, so what are you talking about? Listen, I don't- I'm not saying I wasn't in the studio audience. You know what I mean? I wasn't, I wasn't watching-

• 5:11H. Foley?

  I love Becker.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  I said that was a good show. No, no, no, no. Let's pull it all back.

• 5:17H. Foley?

  No, you said you love Becker.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 5:20H. Foley?

  You want to have his babies. You make fun of me for watching Cheer or for watching Mash? So many shows.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  No, I wa- no, no.

• 5:29H. Foley?

  Crazy.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  No, I make fun-

• 5:30H. Foley?

  Becker.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  I make fun of you for making-

• 5:32H. Foley?

  Becker. Now, if you don't know Becker, you really have to, you have to like put yourself in this time and place.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Hold on, pause.

• 5:38H. Foley?

  It was like, if Old Navy made a TV show. It was just- Yeah, it was for like-

• 5:44Speaker 01

  You shop at Old Navy?

• 5:45H. Foley?

  It would, not anymore. I don't fit anything in there. Um-

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Joke's on them, suckers.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  Hold on, you, I wa- I don't make fun of you for watching Mash. I make fun of you for referencing, for making Mash jokes 70 years later than getting upset when we don't get them.

• 6:02H. Foley?

  70 years later.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Whatever. Also, I didn't say I love Becker. We were watching something and we said, what is that guy from? It was Mocha Joe.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  And I said, and he's also from Becker, and you would have thought I peed in your Cheerios. That was crazy. And you went, you watched Becker? I said, yeah, you're like with the blind guy? Like you were upset that the guy was blind?

• 6:28H. Foley?

  What guy?

• 6:29Speaker 01

  The guy that owns the newsstand.

• 6:31H. Foley?

  What guy owns the newsstand?

• 6:34Speaker 01

  The blind guy.

• 6:35H. Foley?

  In Becker?

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:36H. Foley?

  I don't know, what the hell?

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, no.

• 6:37H. Foley?

  I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Someone's backpedaling now.

• 6:42H. Foley?

  I don't know, listen, I'm not a fucking Becker superfan. I never watched the show. I didn't know that anybody on the show was blind.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  You're filibuster.

• 6:49H. Foley?

  I wouldn't have any problem with that. Why would I care if the guy was blind?

• 6:53Speaker 01

  You know, I'm not saying-

• 6:54H. Foley?

  I was making fun of Tommy because he has his, when he has his sunglasses on, he looks blind.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  You're just combining stuff. This is, this is, this is, this is the defense of a madman. I've sat here and stood my ground and honestly told the people-

• 7:05H. Foley?

  This man watches Becker. And that's all we need to know.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  I've told the people out there, what actually happened? Did I watch Becker? It's fucking Ted Danson. What are we even talking about? You got Ted Danson and Mocha Joe in the same program yet again?

• 7:18H. Foley?

  Nah, stop.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  They were, he was before Larry David. Larry David sold the Towson-

• 7:22H. Foley?

  Mocha Joe wasn't Mocha Joe yet. And I got nothing against the guy playing Mocha Joe. I have something against the fact that you watched Becker at that time and place in the quarter of the world. Like, did you watch it? Did you and your mom sit there and watch it? Both wearing dresses?

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Was it a what?

• 7:36H. Foley?

  Smoking cigarettes?

• 7:38Speaker 01

  First of all, Denise stopped smoking years before that. Okay? She only did a little puff.

• 7:44H. Foley?

  Becker.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Called her a barber.

• 7:45H. Foley?

  You were in high school at the time, too.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  98? 98, I was in fucking 7th grade.

• 7:50H. Foley?

  That's even worse, man. Put on a cartoon, watching Becker.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Cartoon in 7th grade? This is, this is why we're different humans.

• 7:58H. Foley?

  What's wrong with the cart- oh, you were watching sophisticated adult contemporary comedies?

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Becker, about doctors in the Bronx? Yeah.

• 8:04H. Foley?

  Be a break.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  People are doing the living and dying in this city, not fucking cartoons.

• 8:08H. Foley?

  Hey, what neighborhood in the Bronx did Becker live at?

• 8:11Speaker 01

  The one up there by the, the, the, Little Italy.

• 8:13H. Foley?

  None of that set fits the Bronx. I've been up there. Late night.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Looking for dudes.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Um, can we get a little bit of, what were the reviews of Becker? See, this is very fun to me because-

• 8:25H. Foley?

  Critically acclaimed, everybody loved it. But not seventh graders, not seventh graders. I, listen, I just strike it as, we don't need to beat this to death, I just strike it as odd.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Well, no, now that I'm going, let me see some reviews are going, ah, you wanna backpedal?

• 8:39H. Foley?

  I don't, listen, stop saying backpedal.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Someone's backpedal.

• 8:42H. Foley?

  Cause I'll freak out. I'm not backpedaling, you have nothing on me about the blind guy.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, you just made all that up.

• 8:49H. Foley?

  None of this crap works.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  That was your joke, you're like, the blind guy with the newsstand?

• 8:52H. Foley?

  I didn't even know what you were talking about. What blind guy with the newsstand? I didn't know there was a newsstand involved.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  That's what a backpedaler would say.

• 8:58H. Foley?

  No.

• 9:02H. Foley?

  Crazy.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  What do we have? It'll just, how many, how many rotten tomatoes does it have?

• 9:06Speaker 02

  We got an 87% popcorn score.

• 9:09H. Foley?

  I just-

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Is that good?

• 9:10H. Foley?

  I just, I just said, critically acclaimed, everybody liked it, just not seventh graders.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  Mash only got an 82.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Oh, here we go.

• 9:18H. Foley?

  Don't start that shit.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Here we go.

• 9:21H. Foley?

  Don't start that shit.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  You stink, Kippy rules.

• 9:23H. Foley?

  Everybody, first of all-

• 9:24Speaker 01

  I'm getting a Becker tattoo.

• 9:26H. Foley?

  I'm not into a Mash Becker debate, Mash is one of the-

• 9:28Speaker 01

  First of all-

• 9:29H. Foley?

  Mash is one of the, Mash, Mash was the most watched at the last television episode ever.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  First of all, there's no need to get into a debate, the tribe has spoken, and Mash stinks, Becker's awesome, obviously everybody knows that.

• 9:40H. Foley?

  What's it called? What's the name of that website?

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Rotten Tomatoes.

• 9:43H. Foley?

  Get the fuck out of here with that, that's bought and sold, I think Trident owns that.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Oh, you think Becker bought and sold, sold fucking?

• 9:49H. Foley?

  No, that website is bought and sold.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, for movies, not Becker.

• 9:53H. Foley?

  That's all fake.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  For Becker?

• 9:55H. Foley?

  For Becker?

• 9:56Speaker 01

  Oh, I got him, dead there, you're like my wife.

• 9:58H. Foley?

  You don't have me dead there.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  You're like my wife, you're a pedo. That's when I know I got you against the ropes.

• 10:03H. Foley?

  I'm making fun of you.

• 10:06H. Foley?

  For saying Becker like that, you don't have me up against anything.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Yes, first of all, you're lying, you're backpedaling, and you're mimicking. Those are three telltale signs of a loser.

• 10:15H. Foley?

  These are all made up.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  What, did you not just backpedal and, and?

• 10:19H. Foley?

  I, I didn't backpedal once.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:21H. Foley?

  Not once, what did I backpedal on? You made up the whole thing, or misremembered the thing about us getting in a conversation about Mocha Joe being a blind guy, and I didn't like it.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  You just said that, I don't know.

• 10:30H. Foley?

  I don't even remember-

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Listen-

• 10:32H. Foley?

  Knowing that.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Okay, listen, critically acclaimed.

• 10:35H. Foley?

  And I don't think it was Mocha Joe that was in the show, we were trying to figure out-

• 10:39Speaker 01

  It was Mocha Joe.

• 10:40H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  I know, I'm a superfan. It was Mocha Joe.

• 10:44H. Foley?

  Alright.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Listen, I'm just saying, you got Ted Danson, you got Mocha Joe. Who else did that? Larry David. What else did Larry David create? Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, he knows what he's doing. He sees those two stars, those two talents. You put them on screen, you got yourself a goddamn hit. That, what other two program, what other program have those two guys been in? They're not in misses, they're in amazing shows.

• 11:06H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  That's all I'm saying.

• 11:08H. Foley?

  Alright, you watch Becker, you like Becker, that's totally cool.

• 11:13H. Foley?

  I'm sorry I brought it up.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 11:14H. Foley?

  I dig it, man.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:16H. Foley?

  Maybe we got, come over.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  We should watch it, we should watch it sometimes.

• 11:18H. Foley?

  We should watch it together.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  Should expand your horizons.

• 11:19H. Foley?

  Yes.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Uh huh, maybe it's not all cartoons and Sopranos. A little higher level highbrow comedy about, I didn't even know it was about a family pri- I thought he worked at a hospital. It only took place in the coffee shop. Right?

• 11:37H. Foley?

  I don't know, man, I don't watch it.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, right.

• 11:39H. Foley?

  I didn't.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  This is, this is, you're like one of those, one of those like congressmen who's like anti-gay and then comes out being gay. I'm gonna catch you at a truck stop watching Becker later.

• 11:48H. Foley?

  Well, there you go, I'm watching Becker.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  He got me. Um, yeah. I would probably say I saw, I would say probably a quarter.

• 11:58H. Foley?

  All 128 episodes?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Is that how many there were? That's syndication.

• 12:01H. Foley?

  Of co- of course.

• 12:03Speaker 01

  Ted Danson.

• 12:04H. Foley?

  I'm not saying it wasn't popular, I'm not saying it wasn't a good show.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  I'm saying it strikes me as incredibly odd that a 7th grade boy was into the show Becker when it was in primetime. Into the show, you also gotta think this is-

• 12:19H. Foley?

  Because I, the, the, Becker was a, it was like a, you know, it was coming out of must see TV and all that kinda stuff, it was just odd. It was very, uh, you know.

• 12:33H. Foley?

  Yeah, CBS-ified and, ugh.

• 12:38H. Foley?

  I don't know, man. I thought it, you know.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  So it's, so it's weird for a, whatever, let's say a 12-year-old boy to be watching a sitcom. That's weird?

• 12:49Speaker 01

  You were seven, watching MASH. What's a, what is a little, that's not odd? I'm just, I'm just grading your behavior on the, on the things you're grading my behavior.

• 13:00H. Foley?

  I'll give you that. I'm gonna say, yeah, that's a little odd.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  A little odd? A little odd. You're watching a World War II...

• 13:07H. Foley?

  Korea. Dickhead.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Whatever. You're watching a war comedy with your family.

• 13:13H. Foley?

  Not really a comedy, it was more of a...

• 13:15Speaker 01

  That was a laugh a minute. What are you talking about?

• 13:17H. Foley?

  Drama. I don't know. War.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Okay, you're getting a little weird about that.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  I will say, this might have spawned Kippy's alter ego, Kippy Rooney. The show revolves around Becker and the things that annoy him.

• 13:31H. Foley?

  That's true. That's true.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Hit me, Kippy Rooney. Put the eyebrows on me.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Isn't it weird?

• 13:39H. Foley?

  I don't like square pizza.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  I love square pizza. See, now you're just making stuff up and you're backpedaling.

• 13:45H. Foley?

  I want all square pizza.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  I like both. I like having the option. When I get pizza, I get a little bit of square, a little bit of triangle.

• 13:53Speaker 01

  Square's a better vehicle if I'm, if we're shooting it straight. And typically has better flavors.

• 14:00H. Foley?

  I'm trying to think of other shows that I hated.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  I can...

• 14:03H. Foley?

  Maybe you watch it. Maybe you watch.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  All fine. I think this, I think you hated that time and place of you're going, must see TV shit. Like, culture changed, and if there's one thing I know about the big dog, he don't like it. So, culture changed, and then you're going, you hated what that stood for, the people that watched it, meanwhile...

• 14:22H. Foley?

  I'm a Sam Malone guy, not some fucking doctor.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  You're hanging on to the past, man.

• 14:27H. Foley?

  Stop it.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  You are. You're going, "I'm a Sam Malone guy."

• 14:31H. Foley?

  Took me a long time to adjust.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 14:34H. Foley?

  I only liked him in Curb Your Enthusiasm because he was fucking Ted Danson.

• 14:40H. Foley?

  And I loved him in Saving Private Ryan. I mean, get the fuck out of here.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  He also played Ted Danson in that.

• 14:44H. Foley?

  No, he didn't.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Oh my god, you're an idiot.

• 14:47H. Foley?

  He played Becker.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  Becker's grandfather.

• 14:50H. Foley?

  You don't remember that scene? One of the best scenes in Saving Private Ryan. I don't fucking remember.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  Who are you talking to?

• 14:56H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  You're just making grand scenes.

• 14:57H. Foley?

  Luke, did you ever see Saving Private Ryan?

• 14:59Speaker 02

  I'm forgetting Ted Danson in it.

• 15:00H. Foley?

  Wow. See?

• 15:02Speaker 02

  Doesn't forget Terese, though.

• 15:04H. Foley?

  What, Terese?

• 15:05Speaker 01

  Man, you're on a warpath today.

• 15:06H. Foley?

  I am.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  You are.

• 15:08H. Foley?

  A little bit.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  You don't remember that show that came- you don't remember that movie that came out before you were born?

• 15:13H. Foley?

  Was it before you were born, buddy? Oh my god, it might have been.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Probably the same year, dude.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  It was the year after I was born.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cut the guy some fucking- cut the guy some slack.

• 15:23H. Foley?

  I- yeah, that's nuts.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  It's not like your family where he turns six and they started showing him war propaganda film.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Top Gun. Alright, Chishig's birthday? We're gonna watch Deer Hunter.

• 15:35H. Foley?

  Hey, gotta watch. You'll find out what the commies are trying to kill you. I love it.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Um, listen, my TV proclivities are neither here nor there.

• 15:44H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  And listen, guys, if you're a Beckerhead, hit me up, alright? The Beckerhead.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  It was a fine program. Do I deserve to be ridiculed and drugged through the mud for it?

• 15:56H. Foley?

  Just struck me funny.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  I get that.

• 15:58H. Foley?

  Strange.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  You also gotta cut me a little slack, I feel, in the sense that like, there wasn't a-

• 16:02H. Foley?

  Divorce, all that kinda stuff, drama, I get it.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  There wasn't that much go-

• 16:06H. Foley?

  You had it rough.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  There wasn't that much going on to- this is before the-

• 16:09H. Foley?

  This is overweight. Girls probably didn't notice ya.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Bad teeth.

• 16:14H. Foley?

  Bad teeth.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Going bald, 7th grade.

• 16:16H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Um, this is before on-demand, this is before all that kinda shit, so it was just like, you kinda- that was a time where you still had to watch what was fucking being watched. And if I wanted to spend any time with my father, it was in front of the television.

• 16:32H. Foley?

  Your dad didn't watch Becker.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  I don't know, yeah, I'm just joking. I- that's- I would-

• 16:36H. Foley?

  I know, I- I- listen, I know-

• 16:38Speaker 01

  You don't think my dad liked Ted Danson? What fucking girl-

• 16:40H. Foley?

  No, I met your father once.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  You're- you're nuts, dude. You're just a nuts guy.

• 16:43H. Foley?

  I met your dad once, no way he watched Becker.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Well, I haven't talked to him in six years, why don't I call him right now, find out if he watched Becker? I would just do it for the show, that'd be crazy.

• 16:52H. Foley?

  That'd be fun. Alright, thanks, bye.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  I knew it.

• 16:55H. Foley?

  Think he'd pick up?

• 16:56Speaker 01

  Uh, probably not, that would be deferred to a voicemail that I would have to, "Hey, Chishig, it is." Wondering if you want to get together and watch Becker. Got the box set.

• 17:06H. Foley?

  That would be cool.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Is Becker, can you watch Becker anywhere? That might be a fun Patreon episode. We watch, we watch an episode of Becker. The highest rated episode of Becker.

• 17:14H. Foley?

  See if you can turn me?

• 17:15Speaker 01

  See if I can turn you.

• 17:15H. Foley?

  I gotta start from the beginning.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  You don't, listen, I'm calling this off.

• 17:19H. Foley?

  I can't jump in.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Can watch it on Pluto TV.

• 17:22H. Foley?

  Who's, give me the cash.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  We should sell a special to Pluto TV.

• 17:26H. Foley?

  Pluto TV?

• 17:27Speaker 01

  I don't know, they got Becker, they got cash.

• 17:29H. Foley?

  Pluto TV?

• 17:30Speaker 01

  I think Ted Danson's signing bozo.

• 17:31H. Foley?

  Oh yeah, I have that on my Samsung. And I don't have-

• 17:33Speaker 01

  On my Samsung?

• 17:34H. Foley?

  I have that on my TV. And I didn't pay my-

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Who calls their TV the brand of the TV?

• 17:40H. Foley?

  I didn't pay-

• 17:41Speaker 01

  I have that on my visio.

• 17:41H. Foley?

  I didn't pay my YouTube TV, so-

• 17:44Speaker 01

  This guy is just mulching through fucking bits. I didn't pay, I didn't pay, I didn't pay.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  You didn't pay a lot of bills, trust me, I know that.

• 17:55H. Foley?

  I've been watching Pluto TV.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  That's funny.

• 17:59H. Foley?

  I didn't mean to steamroll you.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  It's okay. Dude, that means you're doing bad.

• 18:03H. Foley?

  Luke! What'd he say?

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Been watching Pluto TV? What, are you hanging out at the hospital a lot?

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Oh, Practical Jokers again.

• 18:12H. Foley?

  They're doing a lot of physical therapy.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Guy's jammed up. Listen, again, neither here nor there, but I do look forward to sharing an episode or two, maybe we'll do it on the Patreon, do a nice watch along, an episode or two of Becker with you. I think you would be delighted if you got out of your comfort zone and enjoyed some highbrow, well-written, well-acted, well-produced, well-directed, situation.

• 18:37H. Foley?

  Andy Ackerman. I think was the showrunner or whatever.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  There you go. What else he run?

• 18:42H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Something.

• 18:43H. Foley?

  Big stuff.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:45H. Foley?

  You shot me down before.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  That's why you don't like it. This goes all the way to the top. Uh, gang, check out Becker on CBS, Tuesday nights. When did it air? Give me that. Do you have the time and-

• 18:56H. Foley?

  It was like a Monday.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Uh, it was 8:30.

• 18:58H. Foley?

  What time, what day?

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Uh, Monday.

• 19:00H. Foley?

  Yeah, Monday's at 8:30.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Let me triple check.

• 19:04H. Foley?

  That might have been up against Roseanne.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  Not 98.

• 19:08H. Foley?

  Maybe the end of Roseanne.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  90, I don't know. Roseanne, I wasn't a-

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Uh, it was a lead-in to Everybody Loves Raymond. It was originally 9:30, and then it, and then it went to-

• 19:18Speaker 01

  A lead-in to Everybody Loves Raymond?

• 19:20H. Foley?

  And you know how I feel about that.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  You don't like Raymond?

• 19:22H. Foley?

  No. No.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  You're nuts, dude. I can't get a fuck.

• 19:26H. Foley?

  That truth be told, you guys.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  That Tony Soprano ain't in it. I ain't watching it.

• 19:30H. Foley?

  His wife was a huge bitch. Nothing against the actor, but give me a break. I like Peter Boyle.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 19:39H. Foley?

  I like a Brad Garrett, small doses.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  That's a big guy for small doses. Uh, listen, before you burn any more bridges in the industry.

• 19:48H. Foley?

  Do I like Ray Romano? Brilliant. Thought he brilliant in The Irishman.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  I gotta, well, you can't call him brilliant in his life's work. You go, you don't like it.

• 19:57H. Foley?

  It's not his life's work.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Everybody loves Raymond.

• 19:59H. Foley?

  Fucking Rosenthal's.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Everybody loves Raymond is not Ray Romano's life's work.

• 20:03H. Foley?

  That's all Rosenthal.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  You're nuts.

• 20:05H. Foley?

  Traveling around Thailand.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  So you go, oh, he's great. I liked him in The Irishman because you only watch mob stuff. So you're like, that's the one thing. I'm sorry, Becker didn't do fucking, uh, Goodfellas 5, okay?

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Mocha Joe was probably in fucking.

• 20:22H. Foley?

  Becker didn't even have a drug problem. How am I supposed to get behind this? Crazy.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  Man, you're something else.

• 20:28H. Foley?

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  You are set in your ways.

• 20:30H. Foley?

  I'm an old man.

• 20:33H. Foley?

  Okay, but let's talk about Mars Men, baby.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Mars Men, Mars Men, Mars Men.

• 20:35H. Foley?

  Talk about unlocking your potential. I'm getting older. Things are slowing down. Things aren't what they used to be. You know, sometimes you feel like you're walking through mud.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can feel the changes of lower testosterone.

• 20:47H. Foley?

  That's right. I don't want to say it, but yeah, you gotta put my business on Front Street?

• 20:53H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's right.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Feels like you're, you hit a brick wall.

• 20:58H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 21:00H. Foley?

  Uh-huh. Hey, you got it all right. What do you got for me? Give me something good.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do. Listen, you're like, the workouts, the diet, but you still feel like you're stretching and crawling.

• 21:08H. Foley?

  I'm not doing any of that, but yeah, I'm still tanking. But a lot of guys out there are.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:13H. Foley?

  And they're still not feeling up to snuff.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Nah, I'm right there with you, especially when the baby came. I was like, what the heck is going on? You're just sluggish, the whole nine yards. And here's what I learned. I started taking Mars Men. Your body makes testosterone, but a lot of it gets locked up and can't be used. There's a protein called SHBG that basically handcuffs your testosterone. You become a prisoner in yourself. Pass, you're locked. Inside you can't, you can't break the change. Even if your body is making testosterone, SHBG locks it up so you cannot access it. It's like having money in the bank, but you forget your PIN, your debit card ain't working.

• 21:45H. Foley?

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Uh, Mars Men is designed to help free lock testosterone so your body can actually use it. No synthetics, no needles, just real ingredients that help optimize energy, focus and strength. Uh, it's more consistent, it's natural energy feeling, uh, it's not like drinking, it's not like a Joel where you're like, oh, a cup of coffee, you get jittery. It's a steadier sense of drive and power motivation throughout the day that keeps you humming, baby. Like the tide, it just keeps coming. Uh, it supports healthy T levels, energy and stamina. Uh, it's made in the U.S. and third party tested. There's a 90 day money back guarantee.

• 22:23H. Foley?

  Nice.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  There's no risk, baby.

• 22:24H. Foley?

  Let's go.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Right here for a limited time, our listeners can get 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts at men go to mars.com. That's men go to mars.com for 50% off plus free gifts when you check out. It's also available on Amazon, so after you purchase, they're gonna ask you how you heard about the show, tell them the boy sent you AYG, we love yous.

• 22:41H. Foley?

  Love you. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  BetterHelp.

• 22:45H. Foley?

  Gang, as you know, Kippy and I are both big proponents of talk therapy. There's a lot of different reasons why you might be talking to a therapist. Sometimes financial stress could be a big part of that.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  Hand up, that was me.

• 22:56H. Foley?

  Hand up, it was Kippy. You got a lot of stuff going on, you're trying to balance everything, you got the family, you got the mortgage, you got the rent, you got the kids, all that kind of stuff. Sometimes it might help to talk out, to talk about it with somebody and BetterHelp is the best place to start.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Yes, uh, money worries often bring anxiety, sleep disruption and even depression and is one of the leading sources for conflict within couples. A lot of us, not my, you know, I'm speaking personally here. I watched it growing up, money anxieties my whole life, this, that, is this gonna happen? Is this impending doom gonna hit or the, you know, the alphabet boy's gonna run in and put a lock on the house. Uh, a lot of it's just, it's spinning your wheels and it's not helping anything. With BetterHelp, you can get a therapist, uh, who work according to a strict code of conduct and fully licensed in the U.S. and they'll, they'll match. For you and you can focus on your therapy goals rather than going to 15 different appointments, knocking on doors, hey, yeah, me, yeah, ba, ba, ba, ba, filling out all this stuff.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  Uh, their therapist match commitment will help you find the right therapist for you. Uh, when life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/garbage. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash garbage. Do it.

• 24:06H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Gang, listen, we're gonna get to some freaking questions here.

• 24:08H. Foley?

  Please, us debating TV from 25 years ago. You should have just took the hit and moved on. You'll watch Becker. It's okay.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  I don't like how, I don't, I don't, it's crazy, dude.

• 24:23H. Foley?

  Weird.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 24:25H. Foley?

  Becker.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Wait, how old were you? So you were 22?

• 24:30H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Well, you're, wait, I can't let it go. You're telling me you can't look at me the same.

• 24:33H. Foley?

  1998.

• 24:33Speaker 01

  I've been best reviewed for 15 years ago and I can't look at you the same.

• 24:36H. Foley?

  1998, I just come back from, uh, North Carolina, making big moves.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Okay. You know, you're a fucking huffing cleanser in a closet with your roommate. What are you talking about?

• 24:45H. Foley?

  Okay. Oh, you get personal.

• 24:50H. Foley?

  Uh, and then I moved to New York in 99.

• 24:57H. Foley?

  Was right back 2008. Trying to find the set of Becker.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  They shoot Becker up here. That's right. Yeah, you moved out, you missed out on Dawson's Creek in North Carolina.

• 25:06H. Foley?

  Shot that on a lot in LA. You think Ted Danson's coming to New York to shoot? You kidding me? Probably the reason he took the show. He's probably 10 minutes away from his house.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  I don't know if you're pro Becker. I can't get a read. I get, you don't like.

• 25:18H. Foley?

  I'm pro dancing all the way. You know that. Dancing from start to finish. Ted Danson's been on TV in some form or another for the last 35 years. I love Ted Danson. You.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  This was his, this was his.

• 25:33H. Foley?

  No, I don't, I don't.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  This was, what it, this was his, this is his only leading role? That was an ensemble cast. Cheers was an ensemble cast.

• 25:42H. Foley?

  Crazy.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  What?

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Without a doubt.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  You got Woody.

• 25:47H. Foley?

  You weren't even alive.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Dude, Kirstie Alley, Woody, the fucking, rest in peace of the coach.

• 25:52H. Foley?

  You just said Moka Joe was on the show. Moka Joe?

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Moka Joe. We, listen, I love Moka Joe. He can't carry Ted, Ted, Ted Danson's stethoscope. Can't carry, he can't carry Becker's lab jacket. Okay?

• 26:04H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  That's Becker's.

• 26:06H. Foley?

  Ted Danson was the star of Cheers.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  I'm not saying he wasn't a star. That was an ensemble cast.

• 26:10H. Foley?

  Ted Danson was the star of, sure was an ensemble cast, but Ted Danson was the star.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  It was an ensemble cast.

• 26:13H. Foley?

  Whatever.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  And it, dude, Becker.

• 26:15H. Foley?

  I'm not, and I'm not debating, you see.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  He carried it on his back.

• 26:17H. Foley?

  This is what you do. You start getting this stuff, I'm debating these things. I don't want to debate these things. I think it's weird you watch Becker. That's all I'm gonna say.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  That's fair. We just unpacked why you think it's weird. That's all.

• 26:29H. Foley?

  Why?

• 26:29Speaker 01

  I, I'm just, one, I think, you know.

• 26:32H. Foley?

  Cause it wasn't my kind of rock and roll?

• 26:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, yeah, listen, if it, if it didn't scratch your itch, you ain't a fan, and that's fair.

• 26:39H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 26:41H. Foley?

  Okay.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 26:42H. Foley?

  Got me.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Um, all right, listen, gang, as you know.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  If you Google Ted Danson, Becker is one of his top projects.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Top project? Eighty-seven.

• 26:51H. Foley?

  Eighty-seven what?

• 26:51Speaker 01

  I'm a popcorn meter.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  It's the fourth project that comes up.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Fourth project.

• 26:54H. Foley?

  What's the first three?

• 26:55Speaker 02

  A Man on the Inside, Cheers, The Good Place.

• 26:58H. Foley?

  Ooh, ooh, The Good Place. Now, I like that show.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  A Man on the Inside? That the new one?

• 27:03H. Foley?

  Yeah, it's new one.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Ah, puh.

• 27:04H. Foley?

  It's in a nursing home.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Kick rocks.

• 27:08H. Foley?

  Why?

• 27:08Speaker 01

  What?

• 27:10H. Foley?

  Let's start to, let's turn this into a Ted Danson podcast. Just fight about Ted Danson.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  I want the good plane, the Ted Danson plane.

• 27:16H. Foley?

  Of course.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  All right, listen, here we go. Uh, this is, okay, uh, this one's from Ten Dollar Shareholder, generic name, love it.

• 27:24H. Foley?

  Love it.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  You ever make an ice cream sandwich with Wonder Bread and vanilla ice cream? It's a sweet bread and it works better than you think.

• 27:30H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  This blew my brain. I've never thought about making an ice cream sandwich.

• 27:37H. Foley?

  Like a, like, what do you mean? Like, what? Wait. Hold on. On a cookie?

• 27:42Speaker 01

  I thought, I thought the Becker was gonna get, I thought the Becker was in ugly conversation.

• 27:44H. Foley?

  You're telling me at your house?

• 27:46Speaker 01

  No, never, I've never thought about it.

• 27:47H. Foley?

  You never took two chocolate chip cookies?

• 27:49Speaker 01

  Mm-mm.

• 27:49H. Foley?

  Whether it be a chip ahoy, or...

• 27:51Speaker 01

  If I wanna have a chip ahoy, I'm gonna have a chip ahoy.

• 27:53H. Foley?

  Or whatever. And you never put ice cream in the middle?

• 27:56Speaker 01

  Not even that I've never done it, it's never crossed my mind.

• 28:00H. Foley?

  What? That's bonkos. I know you can't find those chocolatey, uh, the rectangle ones, you're not gonna, you can't find those wafers nowhere.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  That's not a wafer.

• 28:09H. Foley?

  Whatever it is.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  More of a cookie. Or a cake.

• 28:11H. Foley?

  Cake. I think the...

• 28:13Speaker 01

  It's not a wafer, a wafer.

• 28:14H. Foley?

  I think the moisture in the ice cream does that. I bet that starts out like a, like a cracker. And probably gets softened up. Hey, stop fucking typing. I need you fact checking me. Over there. Fucking dick GTP.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  You feel like you're getting it from both angles here. A scared Henry.

• 28:29H. Foley?

  I mean, that's just the way I like it. Back into the corner.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  First of all, no one's doing this to you, you're doing this to yourself, guy.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Um...

• 28:40Speaker 02

  Cookie wafers.

• 28:42H. Foley?

  Thank you, Luke.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  Germany, they call them waffles.

• 28:44H. Foley?

  Thank you, pal. I love you. My buddy.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Cut that and post it.

• 28:49H. Foley?

  Um...

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Let's really gaslight him.

• 28:51H. Foley?

  That, that...

• 28:51Speaker 01

  It's not cookies.

• 28:53H. Foley?

  I don't even know what that means. Uh, that I get.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  What you get?

• 28:57H. Foley?

  Not being able to have access to those. But not making an ice cream sandwich out of a cookie at home?

• 29:02Speaker 01

  I don't know, Luke, did you grow up, I'm not, I'm, I'm not even, it's all out of my world.

• 29:05H. Foley?

  This guy probably had a fucking Sunday bar every, every Saturday night.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  Okay, you get it. You got a chip on your shoulder, you're from the wrong side of the track.

• 29:11H. Foley?

  I got a chip ahoy on my shoulder.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Luke, Luke had a better life than you.

• 29:14H. Foley?

  I'm not saying, I'm against it, I'm happy for him, but I'm just saying...

• 29:17Speaker 01

  No, you're not, hey.

• 29:17H. Foley?

  You're asking if you ever made an ice cream sandwich at home? Huh? Of course he did. Luke?

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Hey, hey, hey, hey. He's half your age. Grew up in a different town. With a little bit of cash. Maybe if your parents...

• 29:29H. Foley?

  I'm cool with it.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  If your parents weren't derelicts. And watching MASH. And fucking repeat every day. And maybe went to college and got a fucking education. You can make chip ahoy sandwiches at your house, too.

• 29:39H. Foley?

  I did make chip ahoy sandwiches at my house. Hydroxy cut, or whatever they were called.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  Fen, fen.

• 29:45H. Foley?

  Hydrox goon. Those cookies. We had Archway cookies for a long time.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:51H. Foley?

  In high school, the double chocolate fudge ones. You know Archway? They're a little bit bigger and softer.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  I feel like I'm at a retirement home talking to a guy.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Talking to Junior Zaprano right now.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, huh? What else, Papa?

• 30:04H. Foley?

  Pussy my line.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  Back in my day, I was a, I was a cheese man, not a Becker man.

• 30:12H. Foley?

  You take the heat, you watch Becker. Stop trying to y-y-y-y-y, you do a hit piece on me, like I'm a jerk off. Then you say, yeah, you start turning the tables on me. I don't know how to argue like that. I, I'm on my feet.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  It's not argue, it's improv.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Improv.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  We're having a battle of wits.

• 30:29H. Foley?

  You wouldn't know improv if I gave you a...

• 30:32Speaker 01

  He couldn't hide, he couldn't smooth his, he couldn't smooth his silk shirt if he had a hot date with a babe.

• 30:36H. Foley?

  I guess these.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  Gotcha. That's acting.

• 30:41H. Foley?

  Ask him! Excuse me.

• 30:43Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:44H. Foley?

  Lucas.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:47H. Foley?

  Did you make the cookies at the house or not?

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, there were some summer nights where we did that.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, my mom, it was like a fun thing. The crazy thing my dad did was he did the cookies with Nutella in between.

• 30:58H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  That was pretty...

• 30:59Speaker 01

  Another crazy thing my dad did.

• 31:00H. Foley?

  How many would...

• 31:01Speaker 01

  Never came back. Okay? Ignored me in a Wawa parking lot.

• 31:06H. Foley?

  Now that's weird. A guy dipping a cookie in Nutella? Man, talk about sheltered. The weirdest thing my dad ever did? He made s'mores inside.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  You don't want to know which cra- I remember one time I watched my dad fight the neighborhood. Did you ever do that? He told a 16-year-old he was gonna clean his cock. So sorry if I wasn't, sorry if I was watching fucking Becker and not eating fucking ice cream sandwiches, okay, guy? I had some shit to deal with.

• 31:34H. Foley?

  And Becker was an escape.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  Yes. A nice, simple life up there in the Bronx, huh? Every day I dream having a cup of coffee in there, no one fist fighting each other.

• 31:43H. Foley?

  There was a coffee shop too? Jesus Christ, how many fucking shows were coffee shops? Frasier, That, Friends.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Just take the hit, guy. Take the hit. Take the hit.

• 31:54H. Foley?

  I like Starbucks as much as that next fellow. Um, here's the thing.

• 32:01H. Foley?

  Uh, when I was working, uh, at 20 Manning in Philly, um, mostly Latino kitchen staff would take the brioche buns that we use for hamburgers, slice a bunch of them in half, pass its ice cream in the middle.

• 32:20H. Foley?

  Let the, let, let, let, let the whole, you know, everybody have a little, little corner.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  I, I get that. I think I'm more of a, I think why I never, it never crossed my mind.

• 32:29H. Foley?

  That's high end shit.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  What?

• 32:31H. Foley?

  It's, it's, it's, it, listen, Wonder Bread's one thing, but I get it. It's kind of a classy move.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Sure. Yeah. I just don't think it would ever be as good as the, and like, the functionality of like, it wasn't, an ice cream, if I want an ice cream sandwich, ice cream, and we, first of all, we kept them, we kept the America's Choice, the ones from Super Fresh, on deck. Boxes of them, John's. Freezer burned like a sum of bitch sometimes. I'm a four years old out there in the, out there in the meat freeze. Um, smelling like tuna and shit.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Fucking fish blood of whatever my stepdad got on it.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  I remember one time-

• 33:10H. Foley?

  Hey, there's mackerel guts on, on my chip wad.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  I remember one time the freezer thawed out or like left the door open. There was a bunch of fish that he caught down there, eh, down the shore.

• 33:20H. Foley?

  Fish goes bad.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  And it dripped down into the fridge. And like in like, we didn't know for, I, I still smell it in my garage. It was probably 20 years ago. And you open the, you know, we opened the drawer where like the sodas were, you know what I mean?

• 33:35H. Foley?

  You got the sandwiches?

• 33:36Speaker 01

  There's beers in there and, uh, just fill lick red chum. It might've all been chum.

• 33:44H. Foley?

  Ew.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Yeah. And I just remember being like, I think they even like tried to save the, like, we're washing these drinks off. I was like, lady, you're fucking, you can give me tetanus? Be nuts? Get a shot at-

• 33:56H. Foley?

  I'd be growing gills. Get out of here. Holy shit.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Uh, but the function, I always, it was just, I was like, this is gonna be a mess. I'd rather just eat the bowl. If I was gonna do it, I'd probably just put cookies in the bowl, but I didn't even do that really.

• 34:08H. Foley?

  I don't mean to be the contrarian this episode, but-

• 34:11Speaker 01

  You're about that?

• 34:12H. Foley?

  You're just trash. That's a classy kinda move.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 34:17H. Foley?

  You just don't know anything about that.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  No one even, I don't even think my mom knows it's legal to do that. I think she probably needs a permit to start making her own ice cream sandwiches. That was never the thing.

• 34:25H. Foley?

  I don't have the food safety test.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Uh huh, um, yeah, I mean, we were the, we were the standard Breyers. Yeah, throw a little fucking.

• 34:34H. Foley?

  Pretzels in there?

• 34:36Speaker 01

  I would do that sometime, yeah, crumble up the, the thin, uh, the thin hers. I'd do that. That's a, that's like if.

• 34:42H. Foley?

  You grew up putting pretzels in your ice cream? You're garbage.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  That's like if we were, you know, that was like hoity toity.

• 34:48H. Foley?

  I remember that, I remember figuring that out.

• 34:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:51H. Foley?

  I remember figuring that out. Figured that out on my own. Like a fucking, like a, like a T900.

• 34:57H. Foley?

  A learning computer.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Fucking fat GPT over here.

• 35:01H. Foley?

  Uh. A little salty in there, sorry.

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 35:04H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  I remember my dad would whip the ice cream to like a.

• 35:07H. Foley?

  Oh, that was crazy.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  And I thought you, I, that might as well been like fucking mixing saccrete to me. That was.

• 35:13H. Foley?

  It comes out.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  As a kid, I'm like, I couldn't get the momentum going. And then once you, yeah, you reach like eight or nine, you get the, you get the, the strength to do it.

• 35:21H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm. I remember one time I left a Frosty in my fridge for like a week.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 35:26H. Foley?

  And I popped that out.

• 35:30H. Foley?

  Home run. It was like in between soft serve and, and regular ice cream?

• 35:35Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:36H. Foley?

  Like a Frosty. You like a Frosty?

• 35:39Speaker 01

  Never really, the growing, we never really did them growing up, ever. I don't know if I've ever.

• 35:43H. Foley?

  All you did was watch Becker, huh?

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Smoke cigarettes. Drink Slim Fast.

• 35:50H. Foley?

  Drink Slim, yeah, you were drinking Slim Fast, smoking cigarettes and watching Becker.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  I mean, not all at the same time. That's crazy. I'm not a king.

• 35:58H. Foley?

  The divorce really got its hooks in ya.

• 36:04H. Foley?

  Did you always say you can't date? I'm not gonna start seeing anybody now. Or you.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Focus on myself right now.

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Eating Lean Cuisine?

• 36:16H. Foley?

  I love that Warby Parker, let me tell you that right now.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  Wabi Paka.

• 36:20H. Foley?

  I love that Warby Paka, it's the absolute best. Listen, as a glasses wearer, as a contact wearer, glasses, it's brutal.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Jam up city.

• 36:31H. Foley?

  It really is, man. You got, you're sacrificing style for cost, for durability, for this, for that. You go to Warby Parker, I'm telling you right now, it's the perfect blend of everything. You look stylish, you have durable, affordable glasses, and you're walking around like you're, you know, you live on Park Avenue.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 36:54H. Foley?

  I cannot say enough about Warby Parker. If you got glasses, get rid of those things, and go to Warby Parker and get a fresh pair.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  You were just telling me how much it changed your life.

• 37:03H. Foley?

  That's right, I was. I feel like a gentleman by Warby Parker glasses, I'll tell you that right now.

• 37:09Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, nobody comes close on quality, price, and selection, and the customer service to boot. Uh, once you buy from Warby Parker, you're gonna realize how much easier they've made the entire process. They got virtual try-on, it's a total game changer. You can literally try on any glasses from your phone before you buy it. It's actually bonkoes how well it works. I was playing, I don't even need glasses, I was playing around with it. I'm putting them on my son and stuff, hey done. Uh, when it comes to quality for the price, Warby Parker is the best. It's not even close. Uh, you just have to choose between flimsy, outdated styles, or spending half your paycheck. Warby Parker has completely changed that. Their prescription glasses start at $95, so you can actually get quality and stylish frames at an affordable price. Everything you need for happier eyes includes

• 37:49Speaker 01

  contacts, online eye exams, and sunglasses. Uh, and right now, you, uh, buy one prescription pair and get 20% off an additional prescription pair at warbyparker.com/garbage. That's 20% off an additional prescription pair, uh, when you go to Warby, W-A-R-B-Y, parker.com/garbage. Do it.

• 38:06H. Foley?

  Do it. Kim, let's talk about Chime.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  Chime!

• 38:09H. Foley?

  As you know, baby, life comes at you pretty quick.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  You ain't lying, big man.

• 38:13H. Foley?

  Things start adding up.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 38:14H. Foley?

  You know what I'm saying? I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, if you're gonna do a little banking, make sure you save your money, make sure you do it right, watch out for bank fees, all that kinda stuff. I'll tell you what I really wish, I could go back and say, "Hey, I wish I had Chime."

• 38:29Speaker 01

  I know. Listen, if you're out there, this is where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. It's hard, listen, it's hard enough to keep a buck as it is, then you got these big corporate banks coming after ya.

• 38:41H. Foley?

  Overdraft fees.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Overdraft fee, uh, monthly statement, not it. Oh, five dollars for this, ten dollars for that, they got their hand in your pocket. Not with Chime. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking, all with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balances. You get 5% cash back on the Chime card in a category of your choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. Look at that, I know, I need that, dog. Uh, right now, you can join the millions that are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/garbage, that's chime.com/garbage. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 39:24H. Foley?

  Do it.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  Um, this one's good, this is from WhatMurder's, $10, long time investor, have yet to have one read. "Is it garbage to lie and tell the oil change guy, 'Don't worry about the air filters, just order one on Amazon, I gotta put it in when I get home, to avoid them showcasing your old dirty air filter, because that's how they get ya?"

• 39:54H. Foley?

  Damn.

• 39:55Speaker 01

  That's a good move.

• 39:56H. Foley?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  And what is it with the, there's a level of trash of being embarrassed, where like, I do this all the time, I know you do this, where you come up with that, you're having these conversations with the other people of some sort of authority.

• 40:10H. Foley?

  In your head?

• 40:11Speaker 01

  In your head, of like, "I just ordered it." Like, alls you could just go, "Nah, I'm not paying, no, thanks." But like, you're embarrassed that you're not getting it, you feel like you should be getting it, you might not have the cash to get it.

• 40:20H. Foley?

  Right.

• 40:21Speaker 01

  All of these things, and you're going, "Ah, that guy was driving all the way there going, I'm gonna make up a lie that I ordered it on Amazon." I don't get that. You're afraid to feel trashy for saying no, right? And not getting the full service.

• 40:34H. Foley?

  Yes. I think of that ilk, people of that ilk. If you say, "No, I don't want it."

• 40:42H. Foley?

  You think that that guy's gonna think, "Oh, this loser can't afford it," which you can't.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Hand up, "I never could," yeah.

• 40:48H. Foley?

  Right. I think people that are, that do well, or whatever, are like, you know, "No, I'm not paying for that. I don't want it."

• 40:56Speaker 01

  But, or they're also going...

• 40:57H. Foley?

  Trashy people need to, need to, you know, "Nah, I just ordered one. Don't worry about it."

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. "I got the guy with the dang and the dang. My brother's going," yeah, just something.

• 41:06H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's like if, if, I've gone in to get my, my tooth pulled, and it's like, "Well, we know..."

• 41:12Speaker 01

  You wanna do this at home?

• 41:13H. Foley?

  "No, we can save this, or you know, we could do a root canal, or you know, let's check the other ones." It's like, "Dude, just pull the fucking tooth."

• 41:20Speaker 01

  Root canal?

• 41:21H. Foley?

  "I don't need you checking the air filter." "Yank it and let me get out of here. Give me three Percocets and get me through tonight."

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Three more to get me through the morning.

• 41:29H. Foley?

  "I'll figure out the rest."

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, that's a weird... I do that, my brother does. I've grown up watching people do that.

• 41:38H. Foley?

  My mom is the king of that.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  My mom.

• 41:41H. Foley?

  My mom is the ki... No, that's fine. We just, we just had one installed two weeks ago. Whatever. You don't need to worry about it.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just did that with the, that handyman that came over.

• 41:51H. Foley?

  Don't wanna tell him no.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  "I'm redoing the whole thing." I'm like, "Making shit. I'm gonna take, I'm gonna knock this down and rebuild."

• 41:56H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  "You don't need to paint the walls. I'm knocking it down."

• 41:59H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  Uh-huh. We're probably just gonna redo the whole thing.

• 42:03H. Foley?

  You know what? We're moving, actually. Here's the keys. We're leaving.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Just did it. You just broke ground. New construction.

• 42:07H. Foley?

  I wonder what that's called. It's called something. People that are like that.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, low self-esteem.

• 42:13H. Foley?

  I don't know.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  It's not high self-esteem.

• 42:15H. Foley?

  Yeah, I guess not.

• 42:18H. Foley?

  But that air filter, I don't know, I'm 50/50 on that. Does that thing matter?

• 42:22Speaker 01

  I think so.

• 42:23H. Foley?

  Because they bang it, that, they love that.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Well, I've talked to a mechanic who goes like, "Just hit it with the air hose." Blow it out, and you're good.

• 42:29H. Foley?

  Oh, fuck.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  Because they can fucking, that's what I hear. I, listen, I don't know dick about cars, but I grew up with mechanics. And they go, "Yeah, just hit that with the hose, clean it up for you."

• 42:37H. Foley?

  What's your new air filter?

• 42:38Speaker 01

  And you can even tell them, "Hit it, hit me with the hose."

• 42:51H. Foley?

  There you go.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  Nah, just hit it with the hose. I'm gonna replace it next time. That's what like, and the guy go, the guy go, alright. First of all, the guy probably can't afford, you and a guy have the same amount of money.

• 43:01H. Foley?

  A little grease. You grease him for that. Sometimes those pet boy places, you can't get to the guy doing the job.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, they come up with that fucking, that, that, that clear folder with your, with your.

• 43:14H. Foley?

  Fuck, man.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, hey.

• 43:15H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  I used to do that when I worked.

• 43:17H. Foley?

  What am I, go to a concert? You give me a laminate?

• 43:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I got it right here. Like, do they pull it out like it's a product? Like it's not good. Like he's telling you, you got cancer.

• 43:25H. Foley?

  I always, watch Becker. I always get into the garage. Even they say don't go in there. I always get in there. I pulled a fucking car in. And I, I, I wanna know who's doing it.

• 43:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't care about it.

• 43:41H. Foley?

  See if I need something for a little, or to show them. Uh, let me show you where it is. Like if it's, if it's a hole in my tire, I'll show you.

• 43:50H. Foley?

  Gotta get eyes on it. How much is an air filter?

• 43:52Speaker 01

  10, 20 bucks.

• 43:53H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  What are we talking about here? Uh.

• 43:57H. Foley?

  It's the principle, though.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  I'm very much, I'm probably.

• 44:00H. Foley?

  You're getting taken, sorry.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  No, yeah, uh, for sure. And you don't, you, you know, I, I, somebody said it to me one time. Everybody loves to buy. No one feels like being sold. No one wants to be sold. You love to buy, you hate being sold. Love to go, I bought that. Not, he sold me a car. I bought a car.

• 44:16H. Foley?

  Right.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  You don't wanna feel like they took advantage of you. You took advantage of them.

• 44:21H. Foley?

  Huh.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  Which every dirtbag wants to go, like, I, I beat him up on the thing. I got the thing.

• 44:27H. Foley?

  Trying to think of the last time I was sold.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  We'll be right back.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  Becker, everybody. 9:30, CBS Monday.

• 44:37H. Foley?

  I'm trying to think. Sold on something.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  Um, alright, let's see here. This one's from Stevie Sixfingers. $10 squatter, never had one read. Is it garbage to do your bachelor party two days after the wedding? Cause you don't get paid until then and also hoping to get some cash from the guests? Wow. That is a, a dirtbag level of trash. I don't hate it, though. Listen, hear me out here. Hear me out.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  If you're a dude, the bachelor party is significantly better than the wedding.

• 45:10H. Foley?

  Oh, I thought you were gonna say than the bachelorette party. Not the videos I've seen.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  That's Pecker at 8:30.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  It's funner. It's just you and 10 boys and you're partying or what you're going to a fucking, you know, a lot of people are doing like, I'm doing a cabin in the mountains, or we're gonna go to AC for the night, or whatever. Um, it's funner. So I would say like, because when you're at the wedding, you want all the boys like, dude, remember when Rugg and Donny shit himself in the, like, you're talking about stories from, it's never as, there's broads in your family there, ain't no fun. So I like the idea of that afterwards, but that's pretty tough a few days after you get married and tell your fucking new wife like, "Hey, I'm gonna fucking..."

• 45:52H. Foley?

  I'll be in Vegas for three days.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wanna roll out. Vegas is probably a tough sell, you know, because all the prostitutes.

• 46:00H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 46:00Speaker 01

  But, um...

• 46:01Speaker 02

  Also, you're not using that money then for the honeymoon.

• 46:04Speaker 01

  Sure. Well, listen, I didn't think that was, I mean, this guy's waiting for payday.

• 46:08H. Foley?

  That's great.

• 46:11H. Foley?

  You're half is yours, half is mine. You go wherever you want, I'm going to fucking, uh, Saratoga.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  That's my 25 hunch. Uh, that, you know what else is really trashy that my brother used to do, and I've had friends do a good amount? I've thought about it, I just never had the funds to take, to do it. Was to go on the bachelor party, but not the wedding. To be like a guy you party with, oh, like, I party with that guy, I don't want him at, but like, we're not close enough to go to the wedding.

• 46:38H. Foley?

  Wait, you wanted to become this guy?

• 46:40Speaker 01

  No, wanted to become this guy, but I ran in circles with a couple of guys like that.

• 46:45H. Foley?

  Really?

• 46:46Speaker 01

  That would go to the bachelor party and not the wedding. Because they're like, "Oh yeah, we're all going to fucking, whatever."

• 46:51H. Foley?

  Get Duff, tell him to come, tell Duffy to come.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, Duff to come, that'll crash with me, he's a good time.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  But it's like, I ain't...

• 46:57H. Foley?

  Duff's not going to the wedding.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Duff's not going to the wedding.

• 47:00H. Foley?

  Wow.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. My brother did that a couple of times.

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 47:09H. Foley?

  Interesting.

• 47:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, Pat's done it a couple of times.

• 47:14H. Foley?

  Is the wife like, what happened to your friend Duffy that you went on the, you didn't invite him to the wedding? Nah, Duff, Duff, Duff's not a wedding guy.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Duff's not a family guy.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Keep Duff away from grandma.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  I think, my boy Pat and my other boy used to take each other as plus ones to weddings just to party. And like, not bounce it off of the bride and groom. Just like, you invited me with a plus one, I'm bringing my homie and we're gonna get fucked up. And, yeah.

• 47:43H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  And like, not, I like.

• 47:45H. Foley?

  Would the other, wait, who'd he do this with?

• 47:48Speaker 01

  What?

• 47:48H. Foley?

  It'd be Stutsky and who else?

• 47:49Speaker 01

  My other boy. I'm trying to protect, you know. Be innocent. Yeah.

• 47:53H. Foley?

  Gotcha. Um.

• 47:57H. Foley?

  Would the other guy know the bride and groom?

• 47:59Speaker 01

  To an extent, yeah. But like, definitely didn't make the cut of the wedding.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 48:06H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, they did it multiple times.

• 48:08H. Foley?

  Didn't make the cut of the wedding?

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Not e, like, wasn't even.

• 48:13H. Foley?

  Considered.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  It's, that was, it was Pat's friend. Like, Pat brought his home, Pat brought his boy to a wedding, just to be like, oh, it's an open bar, we're gonna go get fucked up. We'll put on suits, get fucked up.

• 48:25H. Foley?

  That's so fucking awesome.

• 48:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, multi, like, in our early twenties, that was happening like, a decent amount.

• 48:32H. Foley?

  That's a good time.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Remember being like, what's he doing here? Like, he's got like, five beers.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  He's hitting, he's hitting on the bride.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  That's my, that's my boy Randy. He's with Pat.

• 48:47H. Foley?

  You're the one getting married?

• 48:48Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 48:49H. Foley?

  You work out at the Crunch Gym down the street, right?

• 48:52Speaker 01

  I think I seen you in there. Glutes.

• 48:55H. Foley?

  This guy? No way!

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I bolted out, I'm just fucking with you.

• 49:00H. Foley?

  She's a beautiful girl.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, crazy. I remember being like, even in like the height of our partying and drinking like that, I remember being like, this feels uncouth. This feels very uncouth. I'm like, are you not bouncing that off to them? You know, you're not bouncing that off the couple? Seems crazy.

• 49:18H. Foley?

  Don't you have to do it in the invitation?

• 49:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, it's just plus one. I'll be, you know, I regret to inform you or like I'm accepting plus one. Like Mr. So-and-so and guess, yeah, we will be attending. And then maybe, you know, maybe there were some times where he was like, he was gonna bring his lady and maybe they broke up or she couldn't go or just like whatever it was. But it's like, hey, I RSVP with a plus one. I'm not tied down at the moment. What do you go, we go cruising?

• 49:43H. Foley?

  I would never even think, that would never occur to me. It's a great move.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  You have to have friends that get invited to a wedding.

• 49:49H. Foley?

  Sure. If I was, back then I did, dickhead. Spent a lot of time with you.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:55H. Foley?

  Back then, I gave my life up for my heart.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  Can you say that with a straight face?

• 50:02H. Foley?

  I did, I did.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  End scene. Ooh, he is good.

• 50:11H. Foley?

  I would be, I'd do the fucking, the dork thing.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, you would.

• 50:15H. Foley?

  If like, say I got invited with a plus one and then had a breakup or whatever, or was single and I got a plus one, I would like take some, you know, date and do that and play fucking Johnny fucking dork all night.

• 50:32H. Foley?

  Or bring your fucking boys with you.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a squad up.

• 50:35H. Foley?

  Have a good time. Such an idiot when it comes to that stuff. That's genius. Now, back to this business with the bachelor party. Yeah, it's trash.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's very trash. I would, you know, I was trying to make, come up with a scenario where I'm like, oh, it's cool. And I get that it's cool, but it's like, that's a tough look all around. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. Who am I to judge?

• 50:58H. Foley?

  Imagine somebody be at the wedding, you're like, how was the bachelor party? I'll know, tell you next weekend now. Thank you.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  I just got invited to a bachelor party.

• 51:07H. Foley?

  Is that right?

• 51:09Speaker 01

  I did.

• 51:10H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 51:14Speaker 01

  Can't attend.

• 51:16H. Foley?

  Why?

• 51:17Speaker 01

  One, it's in the Dominican Republic.

• 51:19H. Foley?

  Later.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  You show up?

• 51:24H. Foley?

  That goes down to DR now, it's too hot.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, it's just like, I'm also-

• 51:27H. Foley?

  I mean, the situation's too hot. I'm going anywhere.

• 51:31Speaker 01

  In the Dominican Republic.

• 51:32H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's how they get you, they get you down there. Company boys pop you down there.

• 51:36Speaker 01

  Oh, you?

• 51:37H. Foley?

  Sure?

• 51:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:39H. Foley?

  A lot of people wouldn't mind having me out of the way.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, on the, walking down the sidewalk. Boom, boodle, boodle, boodle.

• 51:47H. Foley?

  It's like a stanza.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, no, I know. Um, yeah, I just, it's like, it was also, we reached the age where like, that got floated through the group text. And shout out to my boys, they listen, um, and I'm just like, I was just like, you're not talking about like 40-year-old men with jobs and families, and they're just like, I can't, I'm not gonna be able to swing getting three or four days away, you know? Plus with that many, plus there's people I don't know in a group text.

• 52:14H. Foley?

  Getting all fucked up.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 52:16H. Foley?

  Coming back on like a Wednesday, ugh, dying.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's also like, you know, I think there's a, you've seen it, everybody's seen it, where like, guys get to a certain age, they, they get out of rhythm of partying. Now, that being said, a good amount of my boys are still partying. They're still, they're still, they're not married, they're not having kids, they're fucking, they're getting after it Thursday through Wednesday, you know what I mean? They're doing a seven-day week. Um, so they're not out of step, but, you know, some guys who are like, oh, their wife and kids, they might drink once a month, they get down there, so-and-so happened, they, they don't have it anymore. They're not conditioned. And then they end up puking, getting in a fight, something, it's just like, it just leads to bad news.

• 53:05Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 53:05H. Foley?

  Yeah, I know what you mean.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  I'm more of like, if the three, my three homies want to be like, oh, let's go here and golf for the weekend, I go, yeah, we'll do, we'll hit, we'll hit a fucking, we'll get a nice hotel, nice Airbnb, pool, stay beers, be in bed by 10. Wake up.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  That's what I would do.

• 53:21H. Foley?

  Yeah, I'm with you on that.

• 53:22Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:23H. Foley?

  Hmm.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  But that's what I'm saying. But I just can't, I can't swing. I also don't have, I don't have four days of drinking to me like that.

• 53:30H. Foley?

  No, that's a, yeah, that's wild. Remember John Mayer saying he was, uh, hungover for six days?

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I gotta be honest with you, like, if I'm drinking, it's-

• 53:41H. Foley?

  You come back from a DR, you're hungover for a couple days.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  And like, you walk in, they hand you the baby right away, and you're like, ew, good.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  That's the biggest problem with getting to this age and having, now I have life, real life responsibilities. Is it like, yeah, we're, listen, we were on the road two weeks ago? You go on the, I'll go on the road for three, four days. Yeah, I get to sleep in, I get to have my beers, you know what I mean?

• 54:05Speaker 01

  But then she's on, you know-

• 54:06H. Foley?

  You don't like pop up on the road now. You wanna get beers at 7-Eleven and sit in the lobby of a, of a Holiday Inn Express.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  That's not bad, though. I'm an old man, Gary.

• 54:15H. Foley?

  Hey, I go straight to bed. Don't get me wrong.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Climb out the window.

• 54:20H. Foley?

  Sneak off into the night.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Jumping on top of a car.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Think a gorilla just broke out of room 314.

• 54:28H. Foley?

  That'd be awesome if that was, I was, you guys catch me? Ah, I'm hitting the sack. Hour later, I come walking down in a tuxedo.

• 54:39H. Foley?

  Woo, that's alright.

• 54:42Speaker 01

  Uh, but yeah, it's the response, you walk in, you go, I can't be hungover when I get home. I gotta be relatively fresh, and I gotta check to fuck in.

• 54:53H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Cause she's, you know, she's been on for four days. I've been fucking tripping the lights fantastic, hanging out with my fucking five jerk off buddies. Calling each other fat, gay, and bald all week. And then it's like, you know, I've been on vacation.

• 55:08H. Foley?

  Sure.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  My biggest responsibility is what, you know, what snacks I'm gonna get at the fucking Loves Truck Stop.

• 55:13H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  And to do the short stack or the full stack at the diner.

• 55:17H. Foley?

  As long as Uncle Hank wakes up in the morning, you're golden.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Maybe with a glitch.

• 55:20H. Foley?

  Not gonna-

• 55:22Speaker 01

  Everybody's going, "Anybody got eyes on the big man? Man, anybody got eyes on the big man? He's usually late, he's usually up early. You know, I'll get a whisper. "See big man?" That's usually Colin. "See the big man?" "Not yet." Uh-oh.

• 55:36H. Foley?

  Ambulance rolling in slow.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Caught it, caught it. Uh, alright, let's see here. Um, this one's fun, I've never thought of this. Uh, this is from Steve Urkel, "Second time, long time." "Is it garbage to lean on the cart while walking in the grocery store? Like you lean down on it."

• 55:58H. Foley?

  Fuck that, yeah, man, all the time, what?

• 56:01Speaker 01

  Fucking walking doggy style. Face down, ass up, dude.

• 56:05H. Foley?

  That's awesome.

• 56:06Speaker 01

  That is, you're walking mad slow, she's in front of you, whatever, you're just cruising, it's trashy. You gotta be a little more proud, you gotta be...

• 56:13H. Foley?

  For sure. But fuck that.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  That guy's in flip flops and socks, for sure.

• 56:18H. Foley?

  Especially when you go to the suburbs and they got them big ass carts.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:22H. Foley?

  I could fit in that.

• 56:23Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:23H. Foley?

  Throw me in there. Push me around.

• 56:29H. Foley?

  Like a, like a, like a robot at an Amazon fucking factory.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  That was the big, uh, we, I'm sure we've mentioned this at some point, but to me, that was the big level of trash, whether you're, if your parents let you sit in the back with the groceries. That was real, they were, that was like, single mom, which...

• 56:50H. Foley?

  That was the spot, hanging out up front.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  I didn't like being up front.

• 56:54H. Foley?

  Chilling, what?

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Nah, that was like, that was like, fucking...

• 56:58H. Foley?

  You had to put a blanket down or something, that was fucking...

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, your legs are stuck and shit, let me in the back. I wanna break the, that's like being in the back of a pickup truck for a kid.

• 57:05H. Foley?

  You wanna sit in the seat?

• 57:06Speaker 01

  No, I wanna be in the back. Or you're sitting all at the front.

• 57:09H. Foley?

  Wait, what are you talking about?

• 57:10Speaker 01

  I guess I have it reversed.

• 57:12H. Foley?

  Yes, you, you think it's trashy if you sit in the bay where the food goes, or in the...

• 57:15Speaker 01

  The bay.

• 57:17H. Foley?

  The cargo bay?

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 57:18H. Foley?

  Or in the seat, the kid's seat?

• 57:20Speaker 01

  The cargo bay. The trunk.

• 57:22H. Foley?

  If you will.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's trashy.

• 57:24H. Foley?

  What, you wanna sit in the seat like a good boy?

• 57:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 57:27H. Foley?

  Staring at your mother?

• 57:28Speaker 01

  No, I'm saying I didn't like that.

• 57:29H. Foley?

  You don't wanna, either one, you don't wanna be in the car?

• 57:31Speaker 01

  No, I wanna be in the big one, is what I'm saying. The trunk.

• 57:34H. Foley?

  But that's trashy.

• 57:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:35H. Foley?

  Oh, yes.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Just because I didn't want...

• 57:38H. Foley?

  Trashy, but you like it.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:39H. Foley?

  Good man.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  I'm saying that's the equivalent of riding in the back of a pickup truck for a six-year-old. That's as, that's as lawless as you're gonna get, "Yeah, I'm back here." All the other nerds are tucked into the front.

• 57:49H. Foley?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 57:49Speaker 01

  With their sippy cups.

• 57:50H. Foley?

  With the seat belts.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  I got an A and W going, I'm in the fucking back, dog, I'm eating a roll from the deli section. I got a slice of cheese and a slice of turkey, how you doing?

• 57:59H. Foley?

  Tony!

• 58:00Speaker 01

  I'm making a foot long back here, suck my dick.

• 58:04H. Foley?

  Yeah, that's alright.

• 58:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was, and my mom, "Get out of there," I go, "Shut up."

• 58:08H. Foley?

  Shut up. How would you climb in there?

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Can't hold me down. Or at one point...

• 58:13H. Foley?

  You didn't tip that?

• 58:14Speaker 01

  At one point, I got top-heavy, it got tough to, tough to get down.

• 58:17H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  I was a, I was thin till about seven.

• 58:20H. Foley?

  You tipped that cart in the first place?

• 58:22Speaker 01

  I think I was thin till my mom went back to work. Then it was...

• 58:26H. Foley?

  Becker time.

• 58:30H. Foley?

  Started watching Becker and drinking complex herbal hatred.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, a lot of ribby old flavin'.

• 58:39H. Foley?

  You know my son, Yell number five?

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's tough.

• 58:43H. Foley?

  Ooh.

• 58:44Speaker 01

  Tough, tough, tough. I get it, kid. Mm-hmm.

• 58:46H. Foley?

  It's alright.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  Uh, let's see here, uh, this is another, this is also, this is from all the toast, $10 mozzarella stick. If you go to a restaurant you've been to before, will you or your family members start a conversation about every other table you've sat at for previous visits? "Oh, wow, we've never sat over here, we always sit at that table over there." That means you got jack shit to say.

• 59:08H. Foley?

  Man, that is so funny.

• 59:09Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Uh, last time we were over there, remember, I said to my, like, if tensions are high, but when you sit down, "Uh, Brett's nice here," you know what I mean?

• 59:16H. Foley?

  You said that, you, you said that somewhere that we were at last weekend.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  I was trying to start conversation with you, you're a stick in the mud.

• 59:23H. Foley?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Ah, yeah.

• 59:26H. Foley?

  That Dominican trip really got me thinking, too. I was lost in my thoughts for a second.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  I saw you.

• 59:31H. Foley?

  Fucking brutal. Um, oh, that hangover.

• 59:35H. Foley?

  Kills me.

• 59:36Speaker 01

  Where were we that I've said, I probably had to.

• 59:39H. Foley?

  We were.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  That's where, that's where convo gets with us sometimes.

• 59:42H. Foley?

  Yeah, we were somewhere like, we usually sit on the other side. Was that the Palm? Was it, was it airport breakfast?

• 59:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, it probably was airport breakfast.

• 59:48H. Foley?

  Cause they put us on the other side.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  You can get your Palm Airport Breakfast TV, tell, uh, T-shirts. At are you garbage dot com? And you can also get your ant tooty mugs while supplies last. They're going, they're going out of, they're, they're running out of stock.

• 1:00:01H. Foley?

  I think the mugs are.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:03H. Foley?

  Plenty of Palm shirts.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Everything's doing well.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  Bye, bye, bye.

• 1:00:10H. Foley?

  I love it.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Oh, I love it.

• 1:00:12H. Foley?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Really turning into fucking, fucking midday news anchor.

• 1:00:16H. Foley?

  Ah, that's great. Next up, we're gonna be talking to.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  A dog who plays the piano.

• 1:00:21H. Foley?

  Next up, we're gonna be talking to a punk kid that goes to Terese every night. Luke Dempsey is in the studio with us, ladies and gentlemen.

• 1:00:28H. Foley?

  Kid.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. Um, this one's trashy, but respect. This is from, uh, Jake Kelly. Uh, never had one read, fairly new homie. Thank you, welcome to the show. Are you garbage if your first birthday party was also your mom's high school graduation party?

• 1:00:43H. Foley?

  Whoa.

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Listen, she fucked, she made some mistakes, obviously. But.

• 1:00:49H. Foley?

  She graduated.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  Props to her for sticking out with a one-year-old, senior year with a one-year-old.

• 1:00:53H. Foley?

  And save money on cake.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:55H. Foley?

  You just get the one big sheet cake for that.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm, cut it in half.

• 1:00:58H. Foley?

  Yeah, high school graduation cake wasn't that bad. It gets a bad rap.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  Where?

• 1:01:04H. Foley?

  What do you mean, where?

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Where's it getting a bad, who's talking about it?

• 1:01:07H. Foley?

  It's not very popular.

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  Ah, you guys know, listen, I've heard a lot of, seen a lot of headlines on graduation, high school graduation cake.

• 1:01:13H. Foley?

  People talk about birthday cake all the time, Mother's Day cake, shit like that.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, there's one of those every year. There's, you go to, you have one high school graduation. That's why no one's talking about it.

• 1:01:23H. Foley?

  No, that's not true, and there's not one every year.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  Oh, well, something just came out of one of your orifices that is putrid and we, we have to wrap up. That's crazy. That's crazy, dude. We have to, guys, I love you. We'll see you next week. I gotta get Foley to the doctor.

• 1:01:39H. Foley?

  Peace, I am not gross.