Jamie Kern Lima ON: Body Shaming in the Beauty Industry and Developing Unstoppable Self-Confidence

Jamie Kern Lima (@jamiekernlima) sits down with Jay Shetty to uncover her rags to riches story, how to build your intuition muscles, and how persistence is the key to crushing your self-doubt She’s an entrepreneur and a media personality, and the first female chief executive officer of L'Oréal. Her latest book, Believe It, is written to inspire a new kind of self-belief and confidence in you and your dreams! Achieve success in every area of your life with Jay Shetty’s Genius Community. Join over 10,000 members taking their holistic well-being to the next level today, at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Your heart can tell you a lot about your health. Apple Watch Series 12 measures your heart rate every five seconds with the most accurate heart rate sensing in wearable. So your vitals app, now with heart rate variability, can tell you when something is off. And your readiness score can let you know when to rest and when to push. Hear the story in every heartbeat with Apple Watch Series 12. The features described are for wellness purposes only and not for medical use. iPhone 11 or later required. Based on Apple conducted study of heart rate accuracy, August 2026. Visit apple.com slash apple watch series 12.

• 0:30Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs.

• 1:12Jay Shetty?

  And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/OnPurpose. That's drinkag1.com/OnPurpose. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. Confidence isn't something Mazda finds, it's something they practice. That's the thinking behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features designed to help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with the road ahead.

• 1:53Jay Shetty?

  It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' safest new car brand and has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick+ Awards than any other car brand as of July 2026. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  And he was like, listen, we're, you know, we love your product. We want to wish you the best of luck, but it's a no. Okay, can you tell me why? He was about three feet from me, face to face. And he says, do you want me to be honest with you? And I said, yes, please. And he says, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you and with your body and your weight.

• 2:39Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 2:46Jay Shetty?

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, one of my favorite things that I get to do on this podcast is introduce you to people that I think have amazing energy, amazing insight and incredible ideas. And not just that, plans of action, strategies, techniques and journeys that when they share them with you, you'll be able to follow in their footsteps, you'll be able to feel inspired and you'll be able to innovate and start living your passion today. And today's guest is going to help us do all of those things.

• 3:28Jay Shetty?

  I've known today's guest for just around a year, but I have to tell you that in this year, I've been able to experience her energy through personally spending hours with her, like literally hours. I think when we first met, I spent all of 14 hours with her, back and forth on a journey we went on. And then across messages, phone calls, and she's extremely personal, has phenomenal insights for your growth and journey. And today she's here to talk about her incredible book, Believe It. Our guest today is Jamie Kern Lima, founder of It Cosmetics. And today we're going to talk about how to go from being underestimated to being unstoppable. Now, for those of you who don't know, Jamie's the co-founder of It Cosmetics, a company

• 4:13Jay Shetty?

  that she started with her husband in their living room that has become the largest cosmetic companies in the United States, listen to this, worth over $1.2 billion. As the first female CEO under L'Oreal, she's an outspoken proponent of female leadership and professional empowerment. And if you don't already know her incredible story, you're in for a treat. Jamie, welcome to On Purpose.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  Jay, thank you so much. I am so excited to be here. It's such an honor and I can't wait. Thank you.

• 4:47Jay Shetty?

  This is so fun because I feel like I remember the journey when we started talking about your book and we started talking about what you'd accomplished and the incredible journey you've been on. Now, first of all, I think it's important to say, and I really mean this, even though you're a friend and, you know, we live in a world where we're surrounded by people doing amazing things. It is important to say that what you've done is truly historic, like it is historical. It's, we shouldn't underestimate it. We shouldn't just pass it off. We live in a world today where you hear numbers all the time and everyone's like, oh yeah, this company did this and this. What you've done is historic and I just want to take a moment to recognize that as your friend,

• 5:28Jay Shetty?

  as an interviewer today and for our audience, because you're about, everyone who's listening right now and when you go out and get the book, you'll read about it. You're hearing about a journey of someone who was the underdog, someone who didn't have all the possibilities and access in the beginning, but someone today who's having such a big impact on people's lives. So Jamie, today we're going to go through the journey in a different order. I want to start with what I saw the other day because I really want to, you know, give testament to the book. I saw a video on your Instagram the other day where you were unboxing the book with your husband and your daughter. And it was a super emotional moment. Now you've achieved a lot of things in life. Tell us why the book was so deep and personal and meaningful after everything you've been through.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  You know, Jay, I watched my daughter open the book and the thing that I felt, and my husband started crying and he never cries and he was crying. You know, I think this is what it comes down to is, you know, when you Google my story, you see, oh, Denny's waitress becomes billion dollar entrepreneur and it seems like such a fairy tale. And after years of having so many women DM me on Instagram saying like, oh, did you get lucky? Or, you know, I wish I had connections like you. I kind of realized that if we don't share the real stories behind the stories, like all the real stuff, then people feel alone in their own rejections or setbacks or, you know, self doubt or not enoughness.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  And watching my daughter open the book was kind of my proudest moment because This is the first time ever that I've ever just like pulled back the curtain and said, here's, here's what really happened and here's, you know, here's how the first three years of, of constant rejections happened and here's how I got through them and here's the things I did wrong, the things I did right. You know, at the end of the day, it's, it's really a story, this book, Believe It, is really a story about a girl who went from not believing in herself to believing in herself and not, not trusting herself to then learning like how to, how to get still and hear my own intuition and make the decision to trust it and how to kind of go from doubting I'm enough to knowing I'm enough. And I, I think that why I got super emotional

• 7:43Speaker 02

  watching my daughter open it is because I realized, you know, this, this isn't just my story. It's a story of so many people out there right now on their own journey of, of like learning how to believe in themselves and, and trust themselves and know, know they're enough. And so for me, it's the most meaningful work I've ever done in my life. Cause it's, you know, it's not about me and it's just, I don't know, I'm just, I'm honored. I think every one of us, and you are testament to this. Oh my goodness. Every one of us has a, a story to share that if we're, you know, courageous enough to share, it can really inspire everyone else on their own journey of like stepping into the person they're born to be. So yeah, it was a really emotional moment

• 8:25Speaker 02

  and just proud for my daughter to see that. I want her to grow up and not doubt herself the way I did for many, many years and, and to, you know, learn to believe in herself too. And I'm just honored to have learned a ton of lessons that I can hopefully share with her and, and so many other people.

• 8:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'm glad you're doing that. What I, what I love about this conversation already is everything you're saying is exactly what 99% of our listeners, our community, me a few years ago before I got started, like this is the emotion, that feeling we all had. We doubted ourselves. We were negative about ourselves. We thought that someone else got lucky. We thought someone else just had it handed to them. And so we judged them or we had a different perception. But tell me about a time or the times when you felt you underestimated yourself.

• 9:19Jay Shetty?

  Because I think we've all been underestimated by people. And you put up a quote the other day on Twitter that I loved. You said, "You might be tempted to underestimate me, but let me save you some time. Don't." And I love that. I was laughing when I read that. But I know you and I've spent time with you. And you speak about in the book, times where you underestimated and doubted yourself. Tell us about what that really feels like. Because I think people forget, when they see you today, they'll be like, "Oh, she's probably been confident her whole life." And I know as your friend and someone that you've been vulnerable with, that's not true. And so I'd love for you to share a bit about that.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, so many stories, Jay. And this is something I think too, for anyone listening right now who's struggling with self doubt and who knows they're made for more, but still doubts themselves anyway. I think it's a lifelong journey for all of us, right? It's something that even to this day, there'll still be days where, you know, maybe a friend I was counting on like didn't show up for me the way I thought they would. And I start, A, it hurts my feelings. And then B, I go right back, I'm like, "Okay, let me get over that." There's so many moments and I think us learning how to handle those moments and is key to everything. Because I think self doubt like kills more dreams than almost anything else. And you know, one big moment that stands out to me, and there's so many that I share in the book,

• 10:42Speaker 02

  because I really want to share how I navigated things the right way and how I did it the wrong way and everything I've learned. But you know, I remember, you know, a few years. Well, actually, let me tell you a different one. So I knew ever since I was a little girl, as sitting in my living room, I always, I would watch Oprah every single day. And I always thought, "Oh, you know, one day I'm going to grow up and I'm going to interview other people. Like, I want to share their stories with the world." I knew I was going to do that my whole life. I just knew. And I was finally working in my dream job in my twenties and thirties as a news anchor, telling other people's stories. And I thought like, "Oh." And I started, I went through this big season of setback where I got a hereditary skin condition called rosacea. And there's no cure for it.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  And I would be live anchoring the news and I would hear my earpiece from the producer, "There's something on your face. There's something on your face. You know, can you wipe it off? Can you wipe it off?" And they were having my back, like they were great, but I knew. There wasn't anything I could wipe off. I knew it was that this bright red, because my skin would get bright red, uh, all bumpy and like sandpaper texture. I knew I couldn't wipe it off. I knew it was the makeup breaking up under the, the hot lights. And so I went through this season of just trying to find every product out there that, you know, and nothing would work for me. And I thought that I was in a season of setback in my life. And what I'd later learn is our setbacks are often our setups for, for something that we're supposed to do next on our own calling and our own purpose in life.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  And, but at the time I was in the season of self doubt, uh, where my inner critic was really getting loud and taking over. And there'd be so many times I would be, you know, live on television and I'd be thinking thoughts like, are viewers changing the channel? Am I, am I gonna get fired? Uh, and I went through this big season of self doubt. And then I had this, you know, moment one day, this really strong gut feeling where I was like, wait a minute. If I can create a product that actually solves my own problems, I bet you there's so many other people out there that like me, their whole life, they've seen these, these beauty commercials on TV or magazines that show perfect skin. They've never seen anyone that looks like them.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Uh, and I always aspired to look like those ads. They always kind of made me feel like I wasn't enough deep down inside. But I, I realized, wait, I've never seen anyone that, that has a skin challenge. If I can create a product that works for me, I bet it's gonna help so many other people. And, and then I had this wild, crazy, God's eyes dream. I was like, what if I just redefine beauty and the whole beauty industry? What if, and I'm sitting there, right, as a broke news anchor, because you don't get paid much to all and journalists. I'm sitting there, I'm like, if I launch a product that works, what if I put real women, every age and shape and size and, and, and, and gender identity, everything? What if I, you know, and, and I call them beautiful and authentically mean it? And that's who I use as models. And I had this whole big dream.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Meanwhile, I'm sitting there knowing nothing about the beauty industry, having no connections, but just had this gut feeling. And when I look back on my journey now, and, you know, that was 10 years ago, when I look back at my journey over everything that's happened, um, I have done so many things wrong, but I think one of the biggest defining moments, um, and I share all the mistakes in the book too, but one of the biggest defining moments. And one of the things I did right was when I, when I would get a strong gut feeling, like I decided to trust myself and it changed everything. Doesn't mean it was easy.

• 14:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  It was a hard, a hard journey after that, but it was a moment too Jay where I, because I really thought I was in my dream job, but I also had this big moment come over me where I realized like, oh, the victory isn't in just not quitting, right? We're always told like, don't quit, don't give up. I feel like the victory is in us knowing when to let go of a dream, right? I think that's as important as knowing when to go after one. And it was this moment where even though I thought I was where I was supposed to be, I all of a sudden felt like I wasn't and I was supposed to take this next leap. And I, and I decided to, to trust it and become an entrepreneur and that was crazy.

• 14:56Jay Shetty?

  I love that story. Thank you for sharing that because I think when you think about that, like being on broadcast television, talking to, to so many people, and then to have someone whisper in your ear, there's something in your face. Well, I mean, like that is, you know, that's scary. Like that's, that's really scary. Tell me about how it, how you even got there because I feel like there's even a layer before that, that when you, when you had the confidence to be on TV and that was a dream that you had watching Oprah. Tell us about the, the period even before that. Maybe it was in your teenage years as a young girl. What were the doubts and the underestimations you had in even to get to that stage of being on TV?

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think that, you know, being a person who is kind, and I think maybe you can relate to this. I think whenever you're kind, um, people underestimate you just right off the bat. And, uh, and, and so that's been something that, you know, is important to know, I think your whole life. But, you know, I am, I was always underestimated for that, but I, I also always had this kind of internal knowing. I'm actually curious if you've had this, um, but you can tell I want to interview other people.

• 16:11Jay Shetty?

  That's not happening today.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  Let me talk about you.

• 16:13Jay Shetty?

  It's, I'm not letting you. I'm not letting you.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Okay. Well, one, one question, because maybe, maybe your listeners, um, can relate to this or maybe even remember this moment, but I was nine years old and this happened. And I, I remember watching Oprah on television and Barbara Walters said to her, uh, asked her a question in interview. And Oprah said, I always knew I was destined for greatness. Her whole life, since she always knew this. And I remember at the time, this made the press everywhere and people started kind of like hating on her for saying this. I think people weren't used to, in particular, a woman being so bold to say something like that. But I remember being a nine-year-old little girl, and even though, you know, and I think we all deal with underestimation, I also remember having this feeling when Oprah said

• 16:59Speaker 02

  that, when Oprah said, "I've always known I was destined for greatness." I remember seeing there's a little girl going, "Me too, me too." And I would literally see what's possible through her sharing her own story and her sharing her own vulnerabilities. And that's a big reason I wrote this book too. But this will be my, I'll try to make this my only question for you. Like, because look at everything you are doing, and look at how you are helping to heal humanity through love, and look at the millions of people you're impacting. Like, have you always had that feeling as well?

• 17:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's a really good question, actually, and this is why you were a great interviewer. I don't think I've ever been asked that question before. So, when you were watching Oprah, and I grew up watching Oprah too, but I think the first person that had a big impact on me through their media was Eminem. So I grew up as a teenager listening to Eminem. And I would not just listen to his music, I would watch his interviews, I would watch his early videos. And I think I learned so much about resilience and opportunity from his story. And, you know, he had so many famous songs which would have so many lines about like, you know, taking your shot, taking your opportunity. And so I don't think I ever believed any of what I am able and blessed to do today was possible.

• 18:14Jay Shetty?

  I don't think I did because I didn't know anyone who'd done it. I wasn't exposed to the media industry, I wasn't around people like that. But I always knew that I had to try. And so I was very much convinced that I could try and that I had to put myself out there and I had to take opportunities and I had to give things a go. But I never was aware of the result. I never really believed that the result was mine. I just knew that if I listened to what Eminem said, that it might happen because he had this, he had this belief set. And so, when you asked me that question, I know exactly what you mean. And it's lovely hearing you say that. I think we should celebrate that because we would all want our children

• 18:54Jay Shetty?

  To say, oh, mom, dad, I, I, I wanna go and help people. I wanna go and serve people. Like, we're not, you're not celebrating, you know, even your work. Like, it's not just celebrating the success of a makeup company. It's like, you're celebrating the success of you wanting to help people with a real challenge, with real confidence, with, there's so much depth to that. So, you, your, your first chapter is called, "When Your Intuition Talks to You, Believe It." How do you know you're hearing your intuition? Because I feel that for so many people today, it's got so quiet. And you're mainly hearing just noise and your parents and your family.

• 19:36Jay Shetty?

  Like, how do you know when you know it's like, oh, that's my intuition? How do you know?

• 19:43Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast. That's indeed.com/podcast.

• 20:28Jay Shetty?

  Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process. And once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet. Be less wasteful and maybe make some extra money along the way. And if you've been thinking about a wardrobe refresh, this can make it feel a little more worthwhile.

• 21:13Jay Shetty?

  You're not just letting go of clothes, you're getting more value from what you already have. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favorite podcast. Choose a seller or Northeast Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll ask you later if you bleached your hair like Eminem and if you were slim shady and went through that whole phase. I'll have a convo offline. But I love that, like, you know, he was someone in your life that you like turned the volume up on and were inspired by it. I think that's huge. So yeah, you know, intuition, when your intuition talks, you believe it. Like I have learned Jay like time and time again. And I believe, by the way, every one of us has an intuition and a knowing. And I believe that our knowing is always right. And I think that to exactly to your point, I think all of the noise of everything around us of self doubt of our inner critic of,

• 22:36Speaker 02

  you know, our friends and family who love us, but like, don't get our dreams or our hopes because they're seeing it through the lens of their own fear or their own experiences. And, and all of that can become so loud that it's like this huge barrier almost of self doubt. It reminds me of like when you're on a flight and you see all these clouds below you. It's like we're walking through life with all these clouds of self doubt. And sometimes it's so hard to like penetrate through them and hear our own, our own gut and our own internal knowing. And I think a lot of people have lost touch with it and haven't heard it for a long time. Absolutely. Yeah, but I I think it's a lifelong journey and and I think it takes a lot of practice.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  And I also think it takes a lot of grace that we give ourselves, right? Because a lot of times we'll think, oh, I trusted my gut, but it was wrong. And all these things, like, what do I do? And I think that it takes literally a lot of practice and it takes building that muscle and getting still and learning to hear your own truth. And I'm sure that, you know, through all of your teachings of meditation, you probably hear from people all the time, like, oh, Jay, I try to meditate, but all I do is go through my to-do list in my own head or all those things, right? It takes time and and you have to give yourself grace in it. And, you know, an example of how I started building this this intuition muscle also is looking back at experiences, right?

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Like, everyone listening right now can probably think of a time that they trusted their gut, they trusted themselves, and it was right. Or they can probably think of a time when, oh, I I had this gut feeling that this person I was dating was super sketchy, but like, I didn't listen to that gut feeling and I was like, I should have. Right? We all kind of can look back and build this muscle. And a big, powerful story that happened to me that I think is a universal story, because so many of us go through different variations of someone else telling us we're not enough. Or someone else telling us we're not the right fit. Or someone else telling us we're not qualified, right? And sometimes it's ourselves telling ourselves that, too.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  But, you know, there is a moment where, you know, after I I decided to take this big leap as an entrepreneur and quit my job and and and, you know, wrote the business plan on my honeymoon flight to South Africa with my husband, got back and went all in. And I just thought, Jay, I I thought, oh, if I can just create a product and it's amazing and it works, like, it's just gonna sell. Thank goodness I didn't know how hard it was gonna be to be an entrepreneur, or I may have second guessed myself. But, you know, we poured every penny we had into creating a product and hiring an advisory board. And and then what I wasn't anticipating was from the moment we launched the brand. And from the moment we had a product that I was like, oh, this is life changing.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  And it works, uh, it would be three years before we could afford to pay ourselves. And all of the beauty retailers uh that I had put on pedestal that I love, like I would save my tip money as a Denny's waitress. To buy a MAC lipstick or a Lancome, I'll go into all the big department stores all over the world, you know, like I loved. I loved it. And so I had always held these amazing retailers on this pedestal. And now I'm sitting there with my own company thinking like, oh, the product works, they're gonna love it. And every time I would send my product to all the department stores and beauty retailers, QVC, uh, everywhere, they all said no. Unanimously, no, you're not the right fit, your packaging's not nice enough. And this went on and on and on.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  And about two years into it, and we were staying alive, by the way, selling about two to three orders a day on our website. And that was it. Uh, and about two, a little over two years into the company, I got a phone call from a potential investor. And I was like, and I was so excited because I thought, oh, my gosh, and this was a big private equity company that has uh invested in a bunch of the consumer product companies that we all buy in grocery stores. And they've, they've invested often in pre-revenue and made them big household names. And I thought, oh, gosh, if they invest in it cosmetics, like A, I'm not gonna go bankrupt. And B, they're gonna help, like, maybe they'll use their leverage to get me into these stores that keep telling me no. So Jay, I was so excited. I thought this is gonna be life changing and.

• 26:55Speaker 02

  I uh, we started doing meetings with them and then entered the diligence phase and they loved our product. Uh, and uh, and diligence phase, meaning like we should have a product pipeline and future projections and all the stuff. And it got down to the final meeting and my husband and I flew up for the meeting. And I'll never forget this moment, um, because it's literally a moment that's. Etched so deeply when I think about how I built my, my muscle of intuition. Uh, but we were, we were there for the final meeting and I just thought it was gonna be life changing and I was standing there about three feet. From the head guy and he was super nice and he was like, listen, we're, you know, we love your product, we want to wish you the best of luck, but it's a no.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Uh, we're gonna pass on investing in it cosmetics. And I was like. Okay, um, and I'm so used to hearing no at this point, right? And I'm like, okay, can you tell me why? Um, because feedback's usually a gift. Um, can you tell me why? And he, he was not three feet from me, face to face. And he says, do you want me to be honest with you? And I said, yes, please. And he says, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you, um, with your body and your weight.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  And I remember in this moment,

• 28:11Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 28:12Speaker 02

  Two things, yeah, two things happened. So I remember feeling like physically feeling this like, feeling through my body of like a lifetime of body doubt, just like flooding my body. And I remember looking at him, I literally felt no anger at all. I mean, it's obviously super hurt. I was watching the words come out of his mouth and literally I had this feeling, like this deep feeling that he's wrong. And I remember this feeling like it was yesterday. It was like literally in the pit of my stomach. Like it was like this, this knowing he's wrong. But I also knew I had no proof he's wrong. His words hurt. I went out to the car

• 28:50Speaker 02

  and cried my eyes out and I had to do a lot of work to like turn down the volume on those words and not repeat them over and over for years. But I just felt like he was wrong. And the other thing I felt Jay was, it's weird. I'm the one thing too, that you know, when I look at the things I've done right to how to build this billion dollar company, I never took the rejection personally, even when it hurt. And there's hundreds of rejections. But like in the case of this guy, when he said those words, I realized after I had a moment, you know, to process them. He was just as much impacted by a lifetime of the beauty industry as I was. And to the point where he thought, oh, if you don't look a certain way, I can't make money off you. So his words in, in a way were just.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Confirmation of why I needed to keep going because things needed to change. And I share so much more about this, but six years later, six years later, when L'Oréal acquired the company that I started, my living room, they acquired it for 1.2 billion dollars cash. And it was all over the, they released this, right, in a press release, which I didn't know they were gonna do until the day before. And that day, it was all over, it was the homepage of the Wall Street Journal, everywhere. And I got an email from that investor, and I hadn't heard from him, Jay, in six years. And I got an email from him, and he said, "Congratulations on the L'Oréal deal. I'm so happy for you." I was wrong.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  And I learned it would have been the most successful investment in this firm's history. And the other thing that I, that I just wanna share, um, cuz I think this is powerful, cuz I think so many people, especially listening to us, watching us right now, are coming out of a really hard year, and the year of things not making sense, and the year, and sometimes, you know, people are just in a season or a moment of rejection or setback. There's a really famous quote that says rejection is God's protection, and I think this applies to every faith. You can, a lot of people will replace it with rejection is the universe's protection. And it's wild, cuz when I look back at so many rejections that I've gone through, and I just feel like someone might need to hear that today, right?

• 31:00Speaker 02

  Cuz it's like, I look back, and even when they didn't make sense at the time, and even when I thought, "There's no way this is meant to be," or, you know, all those things, like this just hurts, or it feels unfair, or, or personal, or, I look back, and it's like, "Wow, I'm so grateful for the hardship or the setback." Because years later, sometimes, and sometimes it takes years till we see, like, "Oh, I'm in the place I'm supposed to be. I was, you know, that rejection's God's protection." But in this case, Jay, at the time that he said those words to me, I was so desperate. I didn't know how we were gonna stay alive as a company. I would've probably given him the majority of the company for almost no money, right?

• 31:42Speaker 02

  And because he didn't believe in me, and because of that rejection, and then, and then a lot of others as well on the way, and other people that did believe in us, for sure, but because that guy didn't believe in me, by the time we did sell our business to L'Oréal, we were still the largest shareholders. So it's like... Wow. It's like, I always thank God not just for the open doors, but for the closed doors.

• 32:05Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  And just having that trust in it, right?

• 32:07Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. What a, I loved every bit of what you just shared. Because I think that's the reality of it. And, you know, obviously, you've only told us about one of the bigger rejections and the book goes into detail on all of the the smaller rejections, the quick rejections. I mean, the idea of that you were patient, that you didn't pay yourself for three years. There's so much patience involved. There's so much resilience and adapting and going at it again. And you're getting so much negative feedback from even people of influence. And I think, you know, and I can relate to all of those in my own personal life and my journey, that there's so many

• 32:48Jay Shetty?

  parallels that I'm like, oh, I remember exactly the executive that, that I had a similar run in with. And so what I'm fascinated by though is how much have you found that building something successful? What percentage or what ratio is it mindset versus the actual skill of business and product that you're doing? Like, if you had to divide it, where would someone like you divide it? How much of this was you having to learn packaging, learn sales, learn spreadsheets, learn growth versus how much of this was you being adaptable, being persistent, being resilient and relentless in that pursuit? Tell us a bit about that journey of both of those.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, gosh, if I had to answer that just right off the fly, I would say 80 or 90% mindset.

• 33:38Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  I really believe, and now in this journey, you know, and now having the blessing of meeting thousands of entrepreneurs and just seeing the ones that make it and the ones that don't and the ones that build things or even just human beings and the ones that go after their goals and things like that and step into all of who they are. Versus kind of like Stay in their comfort zone and talk themselves out of their own truth. I really believe, I truly believe where you come from doesn't determine where you're going. I believe that we all tell ourselves these lies like, oh, you know, I don't have the right connections. I don't come from the right family or I, I am not qualified. I'm not smart and all those things. I don't believe that.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  I think that people that change the world, right, are actually, um, famous as Steve Jobs commercial. Um, and it's Jack, oh my gosh, Jack Kierstach, I'm trying to remember his last name that said these words. But it's like, the people that are, in his words, the people that are crazy enough to believe they can change the world are the ones who do. It's not the people who are smart enough change the world. It's not the people who are, right? And it's like, look at you having, and you're brilliant, but having a vision to take, to make wisdom go viral. It's like, you had the guts to go for it. You know what I mean? You had the guts to believe you can.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  And it's like, there's so many stories I share in this book where, oh my gosh, I was not by any stretch of the imagination, the most qualified person in the room. And I was not the most experienced in all those things. But so many times I just made the decision to believe that I could. And sometimes that's what it comes down to. And I also feel like I've learned a lot of powerful lessons along the way as well that have become freeing. And, you know, I heard you share a quote, you'll know where, where this is from. You shared where it's from too, but that you can't be anything you want, that you can be everything you are. Will you share that really fast again?

• 35:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, that's it. I, I, I talk about. Yeah, I talk about in my book, I talk about how we've been told two lies since we were young. And the two lies are, the first one is, you can be anything you want. And I do think that's, there's a lie in that because I think you have a unique journey and you're not meant to be anything. And the second lie that we've all been told is you'll be nothing. You won't make it. You're insignificant. You're irrelevant. It won't work. And that's where I say that the you can't be anything you want, but you can be everything you are because what you are is,

• 36:24Jay Shetty?

  and that's your story, what you just said now, the idea that this person said to you like, oh, people are not going to buy makeup from someone who looks like you. Like, that's, I mean, that's one of the worst things I've ever heard anyone say. Like, that sounds terrible, but the idea is that you became who you were meant to be. And I think that stops you from the idea of envy and comparison and all of that. But, oh, you're gone, gone.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  And that's so huge, that's so huge. And just to add one thing to that, um, somebody gets so fired up right now because I just know, I know someone needs to hear this right now who's going through this because we're in this world of social media where we're like, oh, it's so tempting to compare ourselves or to get distracted or to feel less than or to see someone else's highlight reel and think we should change who we are. And there's two big things that happened, Jay, in this journey. And, and one of them was after three years of hearing no, we finally got a yes to get one shot on QVC, right? One shot and it came and QVC is a live TV shopping channel. So in the US, they're broadcast to 100 million homes live and there's no script. And every company from Apple iPhone to Dyson, Vacuum, Vitamix,

• 37:34Speaker 02

  they all sell their product there. And I had learned, oh, you can sell more product in an hour on QVC than in a whole year in department stores. So I'm like, oh, my gosh. And my whole thing was like, well, if I get this shot, if I can ever get on QVC, like, let me, you know, let me take this huge risk of instead of showing models a perfect skin, let me actually prove that I made a product that works for everyone. And like, I had this vision of what if I just take my makeup off and show my bright red rosation? What if I put women of all ages and sizes and shapes and skin tones and skin challenges like, and as models and show live how the product works? I had this whole vision, yet for three years, they said no, every time. And by the way, that's another example, my gut kept saying,

• 38:19Speaker 02

  you're supposed to be on QVC. And for three years, they said no. And I think when these things happen.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Happened to us in our life when we have a gut feeling, but then like, oh, it must have been wrong. If you still feel in your gut, it's right, it's right. And you're supposed to keep going. Learning to look back on those moments, I think is how we build our muscle. And you know, we, so we finally get this yes in this one shot on KVC and it is, it's a long story. I got a detail in the book on how it happened and what happened and all that. But you know, just to share one tiny piece of it. We learned that in this one shot I was gonna get in this 10 minute window on live TV. I would need to sell over 6,000 units of our concealer in this 10 minute window to hit the sales goal or not come back. And we were only doing two to three orders a day on our website.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  And so we didn't even have enough money to manufacture the product, get it in there. So we applied for 22 SBA loans, the 23rd bank, tiny bank in California said yes. Just to covering the money to get this one order off to KVC. And it was consignment. So what that meant was in this 10 minute window, right? I get this one shot on national television after three years of no. And if we didn't hit the sales goal, whatever product didn't sell, they would ship back to us and we wouldn't be paid for it, right? As a consignment deal. And so you really shouldn't take this risk as an entrepreneur, but we were to the point where it was like, it was this. The only option.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  I didn't, exactly. And so I thought, okay, we have a 10 minute window and I had this whole thought of what I was gonna do. And we used some of the loan money to hire um third party consultants that help so many people. Sell their product on TV and they really truly do help so many people. And then I was faced with the, this dilemma though, because what they all told me was, okay, Jamie, like if you want a shot at succeeding, which most people fail on KVC after one chance, if you want a shot at succeeding, here's what you need to do. And they told me exactly what to do, which was to cast all models that were in their early twenties, you know, perfect skin. And I'm like,

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Okay, but that's not why I made this business and that's not why I made this product. And you can't fake authenticity. So if I go out there live on TV and I'm like, you know, it's not, it'll create a barrier of disconnection with me and the customer. So I knew all those things, Jay, yet I was like, oh, my gosh, I get one shot. What do I do? And I couldn't try it both ways. And I flew out to QVC a week early before this one shot on air and they're in Pennsylvania. So they're about thirty minutes west of Philly. And I sat in this rental car all alone in the QVC parking lot, which sounds creepy now because I've now been in the parking lot thousands of times. But this was before I ever got a first

• 41:06Speaker 02

  shot and I sat there in the parking lot, uh, staring at the front door, no, like watching people in and out all day for a week straight. And I sat there in that car like praying, crying, feeling like, you know, because I think all of us go through these moments where we believe in our values, but then they get challenged. And I just remember honestly at times being like, well, maybe if I try it their way and then I get success and then I build, maybe then I'll try it my way. That's authentic. Like I had all this thought, right? Of self doubt, like enter my head, challenge my values. And I'll never forget, there was one moment in that car

• 41:47Speaker 02

  where I just imagined like, okay, if I have one shot, what do I want to stand for at the end of the day? And I imagine like who that person was turning on their television. And I don't know why, but I kept imagining like a single mom folding laundry who had like forgotten, like was too busy to remember that she mattered and that she's beautiful. And I had this crystal clear moment of intuition where I just realized like, I'd rather, she's gonna bless me with two seconds of her precious time. I'd rather have her look up on her television and see me showing women who look like her, calling them beautiful, meaning it. Like I'd rather have her see that and be reminded of her own beauty and have her not buy anything. I'd rather that happen

• 42:32Speaker 02

  than me like sell a ton of products and stand for nothing. And So I knew what I had to do and and I knew for me it was like, how do I try and stand for something for every little kid out there who's about to see these images and start doubting themselves and and every grown person who still does. And I just knew what I had to do, but honestly, it was really scary. And I remember walking into the studio for this one shot, this this 10 minute window. And Jay, you'll totally understand the setup, but there is cameras everywhere, a big time clock on the floor at 10 minutes. It was set for 10 minutes. And I knew, once the host came to my set, uh, cause everything's so quick in real time, like they'll go from dice and vacuum to, you know what I mean?

• 43:13Speaker 02

  So once she came to my set and that clock started, we would be live to a hundred million homes that would get one shot. And I learned, which was really fun, I learned, oh, if you're not selling, hitting your goal a minute or two in, they'll actually cut your time. Like you can be at eight minutes left and jump to two minutes left. And you know, oh, it's not going well. And if you try to sell nothing else. So I was freaking out and, you know, you talk a lot about this and about vision and about mission, about purpose. And those words of wisdom that are so powerful that you share are what helped save me.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  Those ideas are what helped save me in this moment. And what I mean by that is in this like 10 minute segment as we were about to go live. And I see the clock and it's like nine fifty nine, nine fifty eight and I'm live. I would go into this space of, is my dress too tight? I felt the sweat dripping down and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, in my head, okay, if I make this about me in this moment, I'm done. Like I had to in that moment with so much pressure, remember why am I doing this? And like, oh, it's way bigger than me. It's literally not about me. And I remember the moment my bare face, bright red rosacea came up on national television and I was literally shaking like a leaf. And uh, from the pressure of just the moment.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  And I remember going over to other other models, other real, real women, all ages and skin tones and sizes and skin challenges like I have. And I'll never forget, there's about a minute left and the host, and I didn't know how it was going. I was freaking out. I knew that they hadn't cut my time yet. There was a minute left and the host says, the tan shade's almost sold out. The deep shade is down to, and I'm like, and and shades started selling out and I just literally. And then I remember the 10 minute mark hit and the big sold out sign came up across the screen. And I start crying on national TV and my husband comes running through the double doors of the studio and I'm like, real women have spoken. And he's like, we're not going bankrupt. And you've met my husband, he could probably imagine doing that. So we're not going bankrupt.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  And that one airing, Jay, uh, this was after three years of no, right? And that one airing, which was September of 2010, turned into five airings and 101 airings the next year. And then I did 250 live shows a year for eight years and we built the largest beauty brand in QVC's history and it is right now, as you and I are talking, it is right now to this day. And the only reason I share that is because it was three years of no. And like, somebody in your audience needs to hear this today, that like, no one can tell you, you're not the right fit. No one can. And if you listen to your gut and you're knowing, it's not about selling a company for a billion dollars. It's not about selling out on QVC. It's about, oh, like you said, like, am I stepping into all of who I am?

• 46:03Speaker 02

  And am I trusting that? And those are the moments that change our life.

• 46:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Home should be a place that feels like a sanctuary, a space that truly reflects who you are, but it can be challenging to balance style, budget, and endless options. I was looking to create a dedicated calm space for my morning meditation and reading, but I was struggling to find pieces that felt grounding but could also stand up to daily use. I went on Wayfair and found a beautiful, solid wood accent chair and a bookshelf. Now that corner is my favorite place to anchor my day. The quality's incredible, it's built to last, and it completely shifted the energy of the room. Plus, you can shop with Wayfair Verified, where product specialists carefully vet items for quality and functionality, so you can shop with more confidence. And if putting it all together

• 46:51Jay Shetty?

  sounds like a headache, Wayfair can handle delivery, installation, and assembly. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 47:12Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are, and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards

• 47:56Jay Shetty?

  since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and calories, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. No, wow, I mean, I was literally with you when you were sharing that, and that's what I love about the storytelling in your book as well. It's like, I'm with you and I can feel it with you. And when you were talking about whether you're sweating or whether you look right, like I'm with you and I can, I feel it all. You know what I love about what you've just shared?

• 48:39Jay Shetty?

  It convinces me and gives me more confidence in faith in the idea that purpose is the only thing that can let someone win. Because what you were just sharing with us is, you had to make it not about you. It was about the people who are struggling with this skin condition. It was about the people that are not being welcomed onto ads and not welcomed into magazines and not welcomed because of the judgment that society had at the time. And you were doing it before. Like, I feel like a lot of these topics are being talked about today. This is what we're talking about is like 13 years ago. Right, like thirteen, fourteen years ago.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  And it was like a several year journey to try and try and shift this to happen in the beauty space. And the thing that's so special to share is we built to millions and millions of customers, over a thousand employees, all of that. And like, I think it's like ninety-five percent, the last time I checked, of our customers have no skin issues.

• 49:41Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Ninety-five percent, right? It's people that feel less alone and more enough and more seen and are tired of seeing images that don't look like them and don't just want to find great beauty makeup products. Because actually, it's not even why I created the brand. And even though I love our products, it's like, it's not why I created the brand. I created it for to try and shift culture, even for women to be more confident on the days they don't even want to wear makeup. You know what I'm saying? And to feel just as beautiful. So it was like this way bigger, bigger thing. And exactly what you said, I think is so true. And I, you know, one of the stories I I talk about in the book is this experience I had with mean girls and dealing with that. And I actually never was bullied as a kid.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  And the first time I ever was bullied was in my thirties in the QVC green room. And it was like shocking because it was adult women. And I've never shared, I mean, ninety-five percent of the book I've never shared before. But I share these stories because I just want everyone going through them to connect and to see like, oh, you know, here's one idea of how to get through it. And here's another perspective on it. And, you know, in this this story, I had friends I thought were my friends. And by the way, most of my close girlfriends have been my friends for like twenty years, and they are amazing. And they all have different faiths. They don't vote the same. They don't love the same, all the things. And they are amazing. So I'm blessed to have really great friends. But one thing I learned is, you know, when you start a new dream,

• 51:07Speaker 02

  not everyone's happy when you actually start to become successful. And I had this moment where I I thought, uh, there's a couple, just a handful of women who I really thought were my friends. And when my brand started really taking off, uh, they didn't like that. And I went through this season of bullying, which I go into in the book. And I would like go out of leave the leave a show after like selling all the sales pressure. And I'd leave a show and go sit in the car and cry for hours and then come back in and have another show. And just trying to get through it and figuring it all out. And I had this big moment that was, two big moments actually Jay, that happened in the KVC Green Room that were life-changing and have now seemed to be universal across thousands

• 51:48Speaker 02

  of entrepreneurs I've met and all the, the women I mentor now. Two big things happened. In this journey of Mean Girls, I realized, oh my gosh, so many of us think, it's easy to think that someone else's success takes away from our own and I don't believe that's true. No. And, uh, right? It's not true. And what I decided to do in this moment of getting bullying was not let it be a distraction, not actually even for a second think I'm competing with them. And I had this big aha moment where I realized, and I believe this to my core, none of us are here to compete with anyone else. I believe we're here to compete with the person we know we're born capable of becoming.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. And that person has nothing to do with anyone else. Like that's to your point, our own unique purpose, our own unique calling. And that's what I focused on. And even to this day Jay, I know I'm nowhere near that person yet, who I'm capable of becoming, but I'm sure, you know, on my journey. But the thing that, when I kept that as my focus, what ended up happening in, in these eight years I spent, uh, in the Green Room, I saw thousands of entrepreneurs come and go. And when I look back at like, oh, what's the commonality with the ones that actually made it and the ones that built something that lasted or built something that matters? And to your question earlier, it's not how smart

• 53:14Speaker 02

  are they, how qualified are they, how, right? It's literally this simple. This is what I've seen i- in thousands of entrepreneurs. The ones that were the same on air live, selling to customers, which is a form of connection, right? But as they are in the Green Room, the people that had that, that alignment were the same, for better or worse. Some are quirky and crazy and funny and some are not very, but like the ones that were authentically themselves on camera, same as in the Green Room. Those are the ones that last, right? And the whole idea, right? Because you know all the research out there that you can't, like it's impossible to have a real human connection unless you fully show up authentically as yourself. And so many people think, oh, I'm distracted by social media. I need to show up like somebody else.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  Or this is working for someone else on their page or with their community. So let me try to show up that way because then I'll get more followers. Or like, or let me show up this way in the dating world, whatever it is. We're literally putting a barrier up of disconnection when we show up as our representative. And I watched this happen thousands of times where someone would be super, you know, whatever, in the green room, amazing, funny, happy, sad, introverted, whatever it is. And then they go on air and they're their representative. And you can't fake authenticity. And it's the most freeing lesson in the world because it's so much pressure when you think you have to change who you are

• 54:43Speaker 02

  or be more like someone else or hide the parts of you that you feel like are past mistakes or are embarrassing or anything else. And it's like, oh, no, the power is and the freedom. And the freedom is in realizing, oh, my gosh, when I fully, like fully show up as who I am for better or worse, that's your superpower. And that's when people actually authentically connect with you, whether it's customers or your community online. And I feel like when people get that, it's the most freeing thing in the world because it doesn't matter what someone else is doing on social media or this or that. It's like all that matters is you like fully showing up as who you are.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  And it's, it's really, and I talk a lot about this in the book, this idea that like authenticity alone doesn't guarantee success, but inauthenticity guarantees failure. And I've just seen it now thousands of times. And I just think it's one of the most freeing things to learn. And I think it helps us, to use the words you shared earlier, I think it helps us. Build our confidence around becoming all of who we are.

• 55:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but I love the way you define authenticity as alignment, like between the green room and being on stage, because I think authenticity today, there's a lot of misconception about it. Authenticity just means like, being yourself and showing yourself. But what you're saying is actually like, internally, your integrity is aligned. And what I love about the book, and this is what I recommend to everyone, when you grab a copy, you'll see this, is that Jamie walks through all the struggles we have. So you have chapters, which he just mentioned, believe in the power of authenticity, but then there's other beliefs that we all need, like, believe in being brave over being liked. And I love the way the book structured

• 56:34Jay Shetty?

  on what we need to believe in versus what we need to stop believing. So, Jamie, I want to ask you this question, and I think it's going to really help everyone who's listening and watching today, because when I'm speaking to you, I can feel your just belief in humanity and belief in people, just like, it just, you know, bounces off you, like it's coming through you, like you really believe, not just in what you're saying, but you really believe in everyone who's listening. But they're beating themselves up right now. There's someone who's listening to this, and they've just spent the whole day beating themselves up. They've spent the whole week beating themselves up. And I almost think like the opposite of belief is not doubt, it's beating yourself up, because doubt is questioning yourself, and that's a positive,

• 57:18Jay Shetty?

  healthy habit. But the negative, unhealthy habit is you're just beating yourself up. If someone's listening right now and they've been beating themselves up, what would you say to them?

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would say you're not alone. I would say the very, and I love that you're asking this question. It's so important, because I think when we do beat ourselves up, it's so easy to think that we're alone in that, that, you know, other people don't do that. It's just us, and we're wrong, and we're bad, and we're damaged, and all those things, right? And I think the first and most important thing is that I think this is a universal thing, that every person, and I just think even the way our brains are wired, that we're tempted to Do that. And I think that, you know, the words we say about ourselves to ourselves, right, are the most important and powerful words. So one of the things I really go into in my book,

• 58:11Speaker 02

  and I talk about this a lot, is this idea of almost an imaginary volume dial. And another thing I talk about, a good friend of mine, Bob Goff, taught me this lesson. And I said, oh, my gosh. It was just in a small group conversation. I'm like, this has changed my, it changed my life. And I'm like, Bob, can I share this with everyone? Because this is going to serve a lot of people. And I talk about this too, where he talks about the power of your own microphone, right? So here's the thing we all need to get really good at, and this takes practice and it takes time. And it takes intentionality in terms of just being aware of it. But I imagine a volume dial, right? And we need to get really good at knowing when to turn the volume down on stuff and when to turn the volume up on stuff, right?

• 58:57Speaker 02

  And for example, with the guy that said to me, no one will buy makeup from someone who looks like you. Or I could go into literally thousands of stories, Jay, about, about some of the rejections and some of the things that, that people said to me along the journey. And, you know, even to this day, I mean, every one of us hops on social media and it's so easy to see a great, you know, beautiful positive message. And it's just as easy to find someone saying something hurtful, right? So this is something that's a universal experience. And whether it's someone saying this in social media or it's us saying it to ourselves, we have to get really good at. And the way I do this, I literally imagine this imaginary volume dial

• 59:38Speaker 02

  where I, and still to this day, you know, I still have thoughts of self doubt that pop up about the most random things. And I'm now able to catch them. I literally imagine myself turning the volume down on them. And I instantly replace it with something positive that somebody said that I believe, I know it's true. We are not built to remind ourselves of all the positive things about ourselves, right? We have to do it intentionally. And I share a story in the book of, well, first, I want to say too, about the microphone thing. A lot of us have friends and family around us that mean well, and that we want to keep in our life because they've been in our life forever and all the things. But when we share our hopes or our dreams with them,

• 1:00:22Speaker 02

  or when we share our struggles with them, they say things often with a great intention that just aren't for us, that just lower our vibration, right? And one of the things I talk about that my friend Bob Goff shared, and I talk about this a lot in the book, is learning how, who to hand your own microphone to in life to speak into, and when you need to take that microphone back. And a lot of people struggle because maybe they watch your show and they have big, you know, a vision for the kind of life or the kind of health or the kind of love that they want in their life. But then they're sharing that and those thoughts and those ideas with people in their circle or in their family or in their home.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  And then instantly they feel their vibration get lower. Instantly, they go back to that place of self doubt. And so, one big thing, and I talk about this a lot and believe it, is, you know, holding your own microphone. And imagine for anyone listening and not watching this, imagine a news reporter who's holding a microphone and they hand it over to somebody to speak into, right? And give their story. And then they're able to take their microphone back. If you watch really seasoned TV news journalists, they never let go of their microphone. Because they know if you give it to someone who's giving you a firsthand account of a something or other, that person will take that microphone and you have a hard time getting it back on live TV.

• 1:01:47Jay Shetty?

  That's such a good analogy. That's such a good analogy.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  But imagine in real life, every second, Jay, we're giving our microphone to someone else when we're letting them speak in into our life, right? And sometimes it's like a friend at the gym and sometimes it's a family member. But we have to get really good at going, oh, when I'm struggling and when I, you know, need someone to talk to and I talk to this person, is this filling my soul? Is it helping me? If it's not, you have to take your microphone back from that person. You can still keep them in your life, but maybe you talk to them about like, what happened on The Bachelor last night or whatever, but you don't talk to them about your struggles. And similarly, you know, so many people I know watch your show and are inspired for their own purpose and their own sense of health and their own sense of peace.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  And, you know, if you share these ideas maybe with a partner, maybe it's your spouse or your boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other, whatever. They may not be on that same path of enlightenment and personal growth. And, and you might be so frustrated that you keep sharing it with them and then you're just like, oh, and so, so listen, like, and then all you're doing is literally stealing your own joy and lowering your own vibration when you keep trying to do that. And so I've learned this lesson and I think it's so powerful of taking your microphone back. And similarly, you know, why you and I talked, I think for 14 hours, the first trip we were on and Roddy and all, all the amazing people on that trip is like, oh, you can feel when you're speaking into each other's microphone and your vibration's going higher.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  And, and, and people get it and they're dreaming and it's not that people tell you what they want to hear, they'll still call you out on your crap, but like, everyone has this vibration, right? And, and I think knowing, and by the way, your show can be something that someone puts their microphone up to, right? It doesn't always have to be a person physically in their life.

• 1:03:39Jay Shetty?

  Your book is a perfect, that's a perfect example, absolutely.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. And so that is huge. And what I would say for people, you know, really just struggling with that inner critic is that I think it is a practice of identifying it. And, and for me, of course, I am the biggest proponent of therapy and I'm the biggest proponent of personal growth and all of those things. And in my book, I share a lot of the tools that worked for me because I think that, you know, so many of us are in that spot and that self doubt takes over. Um, we start to, you know, hold on to past labels people put on us, uh, words they said about us, past mistakes, past miscalculations or regrettable incidents or things we did wrong.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  But like, I believe in life, like we're not our, our past mistakes or any of those things. I believe we're our intentions going forward. And I think that, you know, starting some of these, implementing some of these tools from the book and into your real life is really big because for me, I battled self doubt my whole life. And, you know, there are so many stories, the investor in the weight one is just one of many. There are so many that I share and talk about how did I get through? And, you know, I would create this imaginary toolbox that I would just go back from and pull from. And, and one thing in my imaginary toolbox is just every time I catch myself putting

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  myself down, telling myself things like, you're not qualified, you're just that. I pull from another moment and I replace that in my own mind and I try to turn the volume up on that, right? And sometimes it could be, you know, something kind that somebody said in the line at Starbucks. Like, sometimes it could be someone saying, oh, you just brightened my day and I'll remind myself, oh, and I turn the volume up on that. Um, there's a moment I share, the first time when I met Michelle Obama and something she shared to me in the book and, and she just said the most beautiful words and I won't, I won't give up the story, but those words, I replay them in my mind, right? So when I have moments like I'm tempted to replay my own self doubt, I literally turn

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  it down and I replace it and I think that's a big thing. And I think it's important to know we're, we're not alone and it's all a journey. You know, the way we started this conversation, I think is so relevant to this question, which is all of us have these experiences of self doubt and then we all of a sudden have the noise of other people's opinions or if you're launching a business or building a community online, like what I went through was years of no proof that my idea was gonna work. So when we have no proof around us that what we're doing might be successful and we have, you know, friends and family worried about us saying, are you sure you could, should have quit your job or are you sure you're qualified? All those things, right? And then we have rejection, then we have our own self doubt.

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  It can be so loud that we literally end up like staying in our comfort zone, decide, talking ourselves out of our own truth, right? Staying in our comfort zones, never starting the dream, never, you know, writing the book, never creating the blog and the podcast or, right? All those things, we stay in our comfort zone, which makes a lot of other people more comfy too, but then it chips away at our own soul. And I think it's, it robs us from, from becoming the person. We're born to be. So it's a journey, I think, of intentionality. And we're all in this together, right? And what a beautiful thing that anybody going through this right now is able to hear your show and is able to hear you and me and connect with us.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  Because I believe we're all connected.

• 1:07:18Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  And I believe we all have the same hopes and doubts and fears and dreams and all that.

• 1:07:23Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Everyone, that is Jamie Kern Lima. Believe It is the name of the book. How to Go From Underestimated to Unstoppable. I want everyone to go and grab a copy of the book. You heard like a smidge of the stories. There are incredible stories, tools, techniques, everything inside this book that's going to actually help you break through the biggest issue in your life, which is belief, self-belief. That's the biggest block. There is no bigger block. And all of it is laid out in this wonderful book that Jamie's put together. And Jamie, I'm going to end with you with what we do with every guest is our final five. So these answers have to be given in one word or one sentence maximum as there are final five.

• 1:08:07Jay Shetty?

  And so Jamie, are you ready for your final five?

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  Let's go, Jay.

• 1:08:12Jay Shetty?

  Okay, awesome. So the first question I have is, what is the best advice you've ever received?

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can for yourself.

• 1:08:22Jay Shetty?

  I love that. That's, that's an awesome piece of advice. I fully agree. Okay, second question. What's the worst advice you've ever received?

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  You need to change this about yourself to fit in and then you'll do great.

• 1:08:36Jay Shetty?

  Brilliant. Great answer. Okay, third question. What's something that you know to be true, but people may disagree with you on? Something that you're confident about, but people may not quite get it?

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  These famous words. I'm so confident about them. And I remind myself about them every time I start to doubt myself. It's a famous saying, I think it applies no matter what faith you are. And God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called.

• 1:09:02Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I love that. That just gave-

• 1:09:04Speaker 02

  Not everyone agrees with it. I live by it.

• 1:09:07Jay Shetty?

  That just gave me shivers. That's really powerful. I love that. That's beautiful. I love that. That is, yeah, that is so beautiful. I love that. Thank you for sharing that with me. Okay, question number four. We've got two left. Question number four, what's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months?

• 1:09:22Speaker 02

  Champions aren't made when the game is easy. And this has been a tough year for so many people. I believe if anyone's listening to your show right now, I believe they're a champion. And I think we'll get through this. Uncertainty won't take us down.

• 1:09:35Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Thank you for saying that. And fifth and final question, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  Be love.

• 1:09:46Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, I love that.

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  Live love, be love.

• 1:09:50Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  What we all are.

• 1:09:52Jay Shetty?

  Everyone, Believe It is the name of the book. How to Go From Underestimated to Unstoppable. Jamie Kenley, Jamie, it has been just amazing talking to you. I felt every ounce of energy through the screen. I know that right now you've been busy with press and interviews. You've got so many amazing people supporting your book. I mean, you know, Jamie's got everyone from like Oprah and Robin Roberts and just incredible people that absolutely adore you and what you do. And I want to thank you for taking this time to be on On Purpose, to stay up after everything busy day to do this interview with that much energy and that much conviction. I mean, I'm just totally grateful to call you a friend. And I'm grateful for how you show up every single day.

• 1:10:36Jay Shetty?

  And I'm grateful for just how you showed up today despite the amount of things you have going on. So, thank you so much, Jamie. And I can't wait for this book to be in people's hands. I'm so excited.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  Jay, I'm excited and thank you to you. And it is always the greatest joy when you meet someone in real life who's literally, fully, exactly as they are. When you see them, you know, online and that was you. And wow, what a gift. And so, super grateful for your friendship too. And I hope, I hope our conversation blessed people because again, we're all in this together. And, and so, thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

• 1:11:11Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Everyone, please go and follow Jamie on Instagram. Tag us both with the biggest lessons and takeaways from this session. When you're reading her book, go and post that on Instagram as well. Tag her and tag me to let us know that you found out about the book here so that we can see all the love and all the learnings that you're gaining. Go and find her across social media, Facebook, Instagram, all the other platforms. And go and follow and go and learn about how you can start to believe in yourself, believe into your dream. And find that voice inside of you. So, thank you again, Jamie, and thanks, everyone, for listening.

• 1:11:56Speaker 03

  Hey, it's Brianna Stewart here with Ally Bank. Whether it's at work or with family, life never calls a timeout. Sometimes you're ready, and sometimes you have to react on your feet. Unexpected travel, retail therapy, and of course, the kids need new kicks right now. Ally gets it, and they build banking around real life. So even in those clutch money moments, you can spend and save confidently with the bank that's got your back. Ally, do it right. Ally Bank, Member FDIC.

• 1:12:23Speaker 04

  For the barbecues,

• 1:12:26Speaker 04

  games with friends, and game day countdowns.

• 1:12:33Speaker 04

  White Claw Surge. Unleash the boulder of stronger flavors of blood orange, green apple, and blueberry. White Claw Hard Seltzer Surge. Click or tap the banner to learn more. Please drink responsibly. Hard seltzer with flavors. 8% alcohol by volume. All registered trademarks used under license by White Claw Seltzer Works, Chicago, Illinois.