Rent Must Be Due

SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week, Brooke and Connor transform into Eliphba and Glinda, but they are definitely over Halloween. Plus, Brooke talks about her day at Disney while Connor goes through his list of impossible words to say. Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today and Keep it Twisted. Find your nearest locations at https://www.twistedtea.com/locations. Head to https://Embarkvet.com and use code BANDC to save $65 on Embark’s Breed + Health Test and get free shipping. Get 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic at https://Seed.com/BANDC with code 25BANDC. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. CHAPTERS 0:00 Do NOT Go In There 1:42 Intro 2:02 Halloween Is SO Over 5:40 Words That Are Impossible To Say 9:14 Crazy Sushi Roll Names 10:15 Brooke’s LODS 11:58 Twisted Tea 13:18 Brooke’s Day At Disney 16:23 Matching Keychains & Gifts 17:43 Adele Appreciation 18:27 Tristan Meets Andrew Garfield 21:01 Me + Who? 23:26 Embark Vet 25:25 Connor Goes To The Hospital 29:00 Connor Preps For NY 33:25 Collecting Sand Dollars 37:52 Seed 39:43 Arch and Miriam Walk Into a Bar 44:13 Q-Tips and Holes 46:22 Brooke Meets MiMi 49:47 BetterHelp 51:21 Rent Must Be Due 52:47 Getting Got By AI 55:10 Getting Spam Texts 57:20 Martha Stewart’s Documentary 1:03:39 I Had So Much Fun 1:06:22 Daylight Savings Struggles 1:07:44 Going To The Wicked Premiere 1:09:53 See You In Bonus!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

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• 1:00Brooke Averick?

  Is he as Connor in a meeting in the upstairs restroom?

• 1:05Speaker 06

  I think he had to call his lawyer, again.

• 1:07Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 1:08Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:09Brooke Averick?

  At a time like this?

• 1:14Brooke Averick?

  Did you hear that? What is that sound? It's beautiful.

• 1:22Connor Wood?

  What up, bitch? Do not go in there.

• 1:30Brooke Averick?

  Oh my gosh, your panties are peeking out.

• 1:32Connor Wood?

  What about them?

• 1:33Brooke Averick?

  They're peeking out of your robe.

• 1:35Connor Wood?

  This is kind of a new thing I'm doing. I just pictured myself with more access to the free world from my legs.

• 1:43Brooke Averick?

  You look great.

• 1:44Connor Wood?

  Thanks. Do you think I have normal-looking knees, now that we're on the subject?

• 1:47Brooke Averick?

  I was looking at my knees in a photo the other day, and I'm like, why do they look like faces?

• 1:52Connor Wood?

  Brooke, it looks like, you know, baby's kick in the womb? Like, it looks like if a baby was, like, pushing like this on the womb. That's what my knees look like.

• 2:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 2:03Connor Wood?

  Look when I stand, look when I stand.

• 2:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yep. Everyone's knees... You have a muscle there, though. That's probably good.

• 2:12Connor Wood?

  It literally looks like I'm pregnant in both my kneecaps.

• 2:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 2:16Connor Wood?

  And this is like a baby stuck in there. When I saw it, I know, and now I can't unsee it. I'm like, that's, it's like I have haunted knees.

• 2:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, my knees were really haunted in all of my Halloween pictures.

• 2:26Connor Wood?

  Oh, cuz your, your legs were out too.

• 2:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, my legs were completely exposed.

• 2:30Connor Wood?

  Was it not cold?

• 2:32Brooke Averick?

  It was freezing, Connor.

• 2:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 2:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but luckily I didn't go out. I just took photos.

• 2:37Connor Wood?

  That's fine.

• 2:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 2:39Connor Wood?

  There's no shame in that.

• 2:40Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 3:01Connor Wood?

  Halloween's over, you guys. So stop dragging it out, okay?

• 3:06Brooke Averick?

  It's done.

• 3:07Connor Wood?

  I'm over it.

• 3:07Brooke Averick?

  I'm completely, I genuinely am over it.

• 3:10Connor Wood?

  I'm sick.

• 3:11Brooke Averick?

  I'm not just saying that. I'm so exhausted.

• 3:13Connor Wood?

  We're adults. We don't need, we don't need 11 days of Halloween, you know?

• 3:19Brooke Averick?

  I'm on the same page with you. November 1st is Thanksgiving.

• 3:23Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 3:24Brooke Averick?

  Halloween is over.

• 3:25Connor Wood?

  That being said, I did go trick or treating over the weekend.

• 3:28Brooke Averick?

  How was that?

• 3:29Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, it was magical.

• 3:29Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's amazing.

• 3:31Connor Wood?

  It was great. I went house to house. I mean, I was, I

• 3:34Brooke Averick?

  With children.

• 3:34Connor Wood?

  With children, yeah. I was accompanying children.

• 3:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:38Connor Wood?

  I was out, hanging out with children.

• 3:40Brooke Averick?

  Right. You were a supervisor.

• 3:42Connor Wood?

  I was, oh yeah, I was a chaperone.

• 3:43Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:44Connor Wood?

  I was a chaperone. And I, fully were taking kids to the door. I was, we were loading up and hitting the road. It was so fun. And I had like a spiked apple cider. It was just like so perfect and I had such a good time.

• 3:57Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I never thought about the fact that like the adults were probably drunk when we were trick or treating.

• 4:01Connor Wood?

  Fully. You're just walking around. We had spiked apple cider.

• 4:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 4:07Connor Wood?

  It was so cool and I was in, I was up on the east coast, I was in Boston.

• 4:10Brooke Averick?

  Uh.

• 4:11Connor Wood?

  Well, I was outside of Boston. No, oh no, no.

• 4:15Brooke Averick?

  Heatwave?

• 4:16Connor Wood?

  Eighty degrees at night on, on October 31st.

• 4:20Brooke Averick?

  In Boston of all places.

• 4:21Connor Wood?

  In Boston.

• 4:23Brooke Averick?

  Back when I was young, in college, in Boston, I think it snowed by that time.

• 4:29Connor Wood?

  Let's get you to bed grandma. It was so hot. Like it's, I don't think that we're gonna have, I remember in Texas, being like, oh, we can wear, I gotta wear a jacket with my costume because it's gonna get cold later.

• 4:41Brooke Averick?

  I had to wear that fleshy colored, uh, long sleeve shirt under all my costumes.

• 4:48Connor Wood?

  Cause you needed layers. Cause people were like, I don't want you to later on be like, I'm cold.

• 4:54Brooke Averick?

  Even when I like didn't need layers, my mom would make me and it's just like led to so much resentment.

• 5:00Connor Wood?

  Brooke, I know.

• 5:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 5:04Connor Wood?

  They were right though.

• 5:05Brooke Averick?

  No, I don't, I don't feel that way.

• 5:07Connor Wood?

  You didn't need the layers?

• 5:08Brooke Averick?

  I did not need the layers. I was, I was not cold.

• 5:09Connor Wood?

  I know you. I know you and from the outside looking in, you needed the layers.

• 5:13Brooke Averick?

  I was not cold.

• 5:15Connor Wood?

  Like I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm looking through like seance through the looking glass. What is the Freaky Friday book that the mom is writing?

• 5:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh, don't tell me.

• 5:26Connor Wood?

  It's a.

• 5:26Brooke Averick?

  Something is through the looking glass, that's for sure.

• 5:28Connor Wood?

  It's like.

• 5:29Brooke Averick?

  Something like sesenescence.

• 5:32Connor Wood?

  Seven essence.

• 5:32Brooke Averick?

  Like a word like that. Can we look up, uh, Jamie Lee Curtis's book in Freaky Friday?

• 5:40Connor Wood?

  Someone is in their car yelling it at their radio listening to us right now.

• 5:42Brooke Averick?

  That would be a good Halloween costume. The book.

• 5:45Connor Wood?

  The book.

• 5:47Brooke Averick?

  Go ahead and read that.

• 5:47Connor Wood?

  Through the looking glass. No, no, no. Cause there was a something through the looking glass.

• 5:51Brooke Averick?

  We need the, um, like the underheading. What's that called?

• 5:55Connor Wood?

  Renaissance, renescence.

• 5:57Brooke Averick?

  Renaissance?

• 5:58Connor Wood?

  No.

• 5:58Brooke Averick?

  Was it Renaissance?

• 5:59Connor Wood?

  No, it wasn't. Cause they couldn't pronounce the word. I also couldn't pronounce the word, but once you get it, it like scratches an itch in your brain, you know?

• 6:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. The subheading, that's the word I'm looking for.

• 6:10Connor Wood?

  I think it's the title and then the subheading was through the looking glass.

• 6:14Brooke Averick?

  No, I think the subheading is effervescence.

• 6:17Connor Wood?

  It's not effervescence.

• 6:18Brooke Averick?

  But like along those lines.

• 6:20Connor Wood?

  Why do they keep calling, right there, if we can zoom in on this. Oh, you're right, senescence in retrograde. Senescence, this doesn't really itch that scratch I was talking about.

• 6:30Brooke Averick?

  No, it didn't, did it?

• 6:32Connor Wood?

  No, I remember it really like being like, oof, that feels good.

• 6:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 6:35Connor Wood?

  To be able to say, that's like when I talked about, I made a TikTok about this, but, and I realized how many people are not ever affected by this and this never comes across any other people's desk. In high school, like when I went to camp and stuff, a lot of people wore shirts that said, that it was like the school that they went to, they went to E.P.I.S.C.O.P.A.L.

• 6:55Brooke Averick?

  We had an Episcopal too.

• 6:56Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, I, I always said episcopeal, but my brain always reminds me, it's Episcopal and that like, it like gives me chills. I'm like, oh, that's, that's a word that feels good when you, because there's, you could say episcopeal all day. If you're not corrected, but then when your brain's like, no, bro, it's Episcopal. I'm like, thank you. That's so awesome.

• 7:14Brooke Averick?

  That kind of happened to me with the word epitome.

• 7:17Connor Wood?

  Epitome?

• 7:17Brooke Averick?

  I thought epitome and epitome were two different words that meant the same thing.

• 7:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 7:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So I was using epitome until far too late.

• 7:25Connor Wood?

  I get it.

• 7:26Brooke Averick?

  Far too late in life.

• 7:27Connor Wood?

  I get it. Because if you only read a word, that word is kind of honestly Schrodinger's cat, like in your head, that word is epitome until, until proven guilty.

• 7:36Brooke Averick?

  Did you have a word like on your spelling test when you were younger that you like messed up so bad and now you'll never ever mess it up?

• 7:43Connor Wood?

  Want to know what it is?

• 7:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 7:45Connor Wood?

  Mosquito.

• 7:47Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 7:47Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I came in third place in the spelling bee because I couldn't spell mosquito and that's why I'll always say mosquito because now I remember how to spell it. Why did I put a K in it? Oh my God.

• 7:56Brooke Averick?

  Wait, how does mosquito help you realize there's a K?

• 8:00Connor Wood?

  I don't know, because I've, there's no K. It's a Q.U.I.T.

• 8:02Brooke Averick?

  Or how does it make you realize it's not a K? Because you're emphasizing the O.

• 8:05Connor Wood?

  Mosquito. Now, instead of mosquito, you know, if I could go back.

• 8:10Brooke Averick?

  I feel like mosquito would help.

• 8:13Connor Wood?

  No, because that now feels like an Italian dish. Can I get the mosquito?

• 8:19Connor Wood?

  Ew, now I'm picturing a bunch of ground up mosquitoes on my pasta.

• 8:22Brooke Averick?

  All good.

• 8:24Connor Wood?

  Anywho.

• 8:25Brooke Averick?

  Mine was schedule.

• 8:26Connor Wood?

  Schedule's hard.

• 8:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:28Connor Wood?

  And do you hear how I say it?

• 8:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Schedule's really hard.

• 8:31Connor Wood?

  I say it schedule.

• 8:32Brooke Averick?

  Like, it should be S-

• 8:33Connor Wood?

  Give your hair a little schedule.

• 8:34Brooke Averick?

  S K E U L E. Let's make it easy.

• 8:38Connor Wood?

  I think I have a words list that like are unnecessarily hard.

• 8:41Brooke Averick?

  Necessary is impossible.

• 8:43Connor Wood?

  Restaurant?

• 8:43Brooke Averick?

  Necessary indefinitely.

• 8:46Connor Wood?

  Uh, hors d'oeuvres go to hell.

• 8:49Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that was another epitome. I thought hors d'oeuvre was a different word.

• 8:54Connor Wood?

  Hors d'oeuvre.

• 8:54Brooke Averick?

  Than hors d'oeuvres.

• 8:56Connor Wood?

  So when you read a menu at a restaurant, you're like, oh, the hors d'oeuvres are coming out?

• 9:00Brooke Averick?

  Hundred fifty.

• 9:01Connor Wood?

  We're at a really nice fancy restaurant. They have hors d'oeuvres.

• 9:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Thought it was a different thing that meant the same word.

• 9:06Connor Wood?

  I don't, like, I'm not making fun of you. I totally agree.

• 9:09Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 9:09Connor Wood?

  That's like every time I go to the restaurant, I have to say balagnes to the guy and I don't want to, but I have to go, I have to go,

• 9:18Connor Wood?

  type it in and then I go, balagnes. Okay. And then I have to say that in my head, can't have a conversation until they take my order.

• 9:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I used to like avoid ordering caprese salads for so long because that was a tough one for me too.

• 9:32Connor Wood?

  So it's caprese?

• 9:33Brooke Averick?

  It's, I, it's caprese.

• 9:34Connor Wood?

  Don't get me started about prosciutto.

• 9:37Brooke Averick?

  Prosciutto's fine.

• 9:38Connor Wood?

  Not for me?

• 9:40Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 9:40Connor Wood?

  Not for me over here? No, I go, can I get, um, how you say, prosciutto?

• 9:47Brooke Averick?

  I'm a big like proponent. I don't know if I use that word right either.

• 9:51Connor Wood?

  You did.

• 9:51Brooke Averick?

  But I'm a big fan of, uh, just pointing to the menu and saying, I'll have this. Thank you.

• 9:56Connor Wood?

  That will do it for me. Yeah, because now, well, there's this sandwich I really want that just came out at that restaurant down the street, Giada.

• 10:03Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm. Oh, my God, Giada. Yeah, there's one by me.

• 10:05Connor Wood?

  I'm just like dreading going to the restaurant and ordering the gobbler. Like, why did you name it that? I don't want to look at a man in the face and say, I'll take the gobbler. Like, he's gonna be like, okay, meet me out back.

• 10:14Brooke Averick?

  Sushi restaurants always do that. They have the craziest roles, like the orgasm, like,

• 10:19Connor Wood?

  Brooke.

• 10:19Brooke Averick?

  This, can I have the sexy role? Like, it's like, what? On earth, why? Why?

• 10:25Connor Wood?

  I've been, yeah. The bad little slut role, please.

• 10:29Brooke Averick?

  Can, can I have that dirty, dirty whore role? Like, what?

• 10:33Connor Wood?

  Can I get the role that you found inside, inside of your body?

• 10:37Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 10:39Connor Wood?

  No, Brooke, I've been going to this restaurant for so long, sushi on fire. And I've been getting the nine eleven roll and they always are like.

• 10:47Brooke Averick?

  No, it's the nine one one.

• 10:48Connor Wood?

  The nine one one. And I get the nine eleven roll and they're always like, and I'm like, oh, did you take it off the menu? It's the nine one one roll. Well, because they don't put a dash.

• 10:57Brooke Averick?

  I, I, it's not your fault. I don't want you to think that's your fault.

• 11:00Connor Wood?

  Name.

• 11:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, change all like, just like, make the name of the roll what's in.

• 11:06Connor Wood?

  What is his?

• 11:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 11:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Yeah, I'm craving sushi now, which is perfect because my stomach's not receiving any food well.

• 11:15Brooke Averick?

  I was gonna say I have a condition.

• 11:19Connor Wood?

  Exciting.

• 11:21Brooke Averick?

  Lods. Late onset Disney stomach. And I did not coin that, that was coined last night.

• 11:30Brooke Averick?

  In the middle of the night by my friend David, who was experiencing lods in the middle of the night.

• 11:34Connor Wood?

  What do you eat at Disney?

• 11:36Brooke Averick?

  Corn.

• 11:37Connor Wood?

  Okay. Got message received.

• 11:39Brooke Averick?

  Straight corn. Oh, let me walk you through like what everyone kind of has spicy pickle, street corn, chili.

• 11:50Brooke Averick?

  Like popcorn, turkey leg. And then like for breakfast, I had a pasta with a cream base and had gotten on site food poisoning.

• 11:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 12:00Brooke Averick?

  Immediate onsite food poisoning.

• 12:03Brooke Averick?

  That kept threatening to show up on the rides too. Which was a little spooky.

• 12:10Brooke Averick?

  And then top it all off like with ribs.

• 12:14Connor Wood?

  Why not?

• 12:14Brooke Averick?

  For dinner, because why not? Churros.

• 12:18Connor Wood?

  Fuck it.

• 12:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 12:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 12:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, let's just do churros easier.

• 12:23Brooke Averick?

  And then there's these huge, huge coffees with like so much cream and Cocoa Puffs in them.

• 12:30Brooke Averick?

  That one, that's kind of like the icing on the cake.

• 12:32Connor Wood?

  I hate to say, like, I don't want to, like, down your Disney experience or give you Disney ick, but that's gluttonous, girl.

• 12:37Brooke Averick?

  No, it was, it was gluttonous, but the thing is, you're also walking 20,000 steps.

• 12:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 12:43Brooke Averick?

  So I don't feel too bad about it, but my body feels bad about it, and that's why I'm having late onset.

• 12:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 12:49Brooke Averick?

  Um, L O D S, so. Feels weird having it in my Glinda costume, because she doesn't poop.

• 12:55Connor Wood?

  She doesn't, she bubbles.

• 12:57Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 12:58Connor Wood?

  Did you know, like, the turkey leg at the fair, did you know, like, a lot of the time, that's not even turkey, it's, it's ham?

• 13:03Brooke Averick?

  That's, there's no way.

• 13:04Connor Wood?

  I promise, and think about the turkey leg you had, like, it wasn't white meat, it was, like, slimy.

• 13:08Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my God, I almost just had food poisoning in the mic.

• 13:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's ham a lot of times, which I, I-

• 13:16Brooke Averick?

  I don't think I like ham.

• 13:18Connor Wood?

  Well, like, no turkey has a leg that big, like, did you ever think about how massive those turkey legs are, like, that would be a dinosaur turkey?

• 13:24Brooke Averick?

  No, there's, like, those big turkeys, yeah.

• 13:28Connor Wood?

  Like, their legs wouldn't be that beefy, that's like, that's like a small JV football player leg, a lot of those legs are, like, very massive and have a lot of-

• 13:37Brooke Averick?

  I'm just gonna, uh, I'm just gonna keep thinking it's a turkey leg.

• 13:41Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, think-

• 13:41Brooke Averick?

  For I P O M.

• 13:42Connor Wood?

  Next time you're eating, it'd be like, this is ham, just like, think, like, is this ham? Is this cake?

• 13:48Brooke Averick?

  It's just gonna be turkey for me.

• 13:49Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 13:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 13:51Connor Wood?

  It's very mental, it's a mental game, but when I found that out, I was like, oh, my gosh, yeah, I've been eating ham.

• 14:00Connor Wood?

  Hold that thought, me. Um, oh, my gosh, completely forgot what I was gonna say, that's crazy that it all happened in five seconds, I forgot, I do remember one thing.

• 14:12Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 14:12Connor Wood?

  I met a young woman this weekend at a bar.

• 14:14Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 14:15Connor Wood?

  It was very loud, and she kept going, "Guinea pig, guinea pig," and I was like, what? Shows me a picture, it's Frankie's new mom.

• 14:25Brooke Averick?

  I got a text from her.

• 14:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Brooke Averick?

  She's just so darling.

• 14:28Connor Wood?

  She was, I know, was like not catching it and I was like, and it was so bad.

• 14:32Brooke Averick?

  I think it was one of Frankie's mom's friends.

• 14:34Connor Wood?

  Okay, she had a picture of Frankie.

• 14:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 14:35Connor Wood?

  You gotta tell Brooke.

• 14:36Brooke Averick?

  Frankie has bunk beds now.

• 14:38Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 14:39Brooke Averick?

  He's so happy.

• 14:40Connor Wood?

  That's really great. That's good stuff.

• 14:41Brooke Averick?

  She's pushing her.

• 14:43Connor Wood?

  I was just thinking of some news that someone told me at my show in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and it was something that I wanted to report back to you here. And I think it had something to do with Turkey, but now I don't. Hmm. I guess we'll never know.

• 14:56Brooke Averick?

  Want to hear something funny that happened to me at Disney yesterday?

• 14:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 14:59Brooke Averick?

  Um, I was walking and then some guy started screaming, "Oh, Brooke and Connor, Brooke and Connor." And I thought he was like referring to me as Brooke and Connor, like as one. And then I was like, "Hey." And then he was like, "Oh, my God, Brooke." And I was like, "Wait, why are you so shocked? You already knew I was here, like you were calling me Brooke and Connor before." But I realized Patrick was wearing B and C merch.

• 15:22Connor Wood?

  Oh, no way.

• 15:23Brooke Averick?

  Screaming at Patrick like, "Oh, my God, like, I see the merch and I recognize the merch."

• 15:28Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's so cool.

• 15:28Brooke Averick?

  Which I was like, "That is so cool." And like, for whatever reason, that like struck me more than like actually like seeing me.

• 15:34Connor Wood?

  That's amazing.

• 15:35Brooke Averick?

  So I love that. I really love that guy.

• 15:36Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's awesome.

• 15:37Brooke Averick?

  With my whole heart. Yeah.

• 15:38Connor Wood?

  It's so sweet he came up.

• 15:40Brooke Averick?

  That's darling.

• 15:42Connor Wood?

  Yeah. That's awesome.

• 15:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Let us know if you've ever had that happen to you in the wild.

• 15:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, people wearing merch.

• 15:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 15:50Connor Wood?

  People wear it a lot to my shows, which is sweet.

• 15:52Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's sweet.

• 15:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah. A lot of people with the keychains. I love seeing a little keychain.

• 15:57Brooke Averick?

  Yes, those are sweet.

• 15:57Connor Wood?

  Because that's like really personal. Keychains are personal.

• 15:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Oh, my dad just sent me a keychain. It's really cute.

• 16:03Connor Wood?

  They're so personal, like your family thinks she's a keychain, thinks about you. That's like always nice.

• 16:08Brooke Averick?

  It's a puzzle piece and you can separate the puzzle pieces. So there's two. So he has one that says "Father of a Princess." And I have one that says "Daughter of a King."

• 16:17Connor Wood?

  And look at you now. That sounds really like Christian.

• 16:19Brooke Averick?

  Um, well, he got my sister one and I was like, "I want a keychain." And so I think this was maybe the first one that came up on Google.

• 16:27Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 16:28Brooke Averick?

  But I love.

• 16:28Connor Wood?

  Bible Keychains.

• 16:29Brooke Averick?

  I treasure it.

• 16:30Connor Wood?

  That's sweet, actually. There's nothing, like I truly think, you know, like people are like, "My love language is gift giving."

• 16:40Connor Wood?

  Those people that are like, "I want a TV from you," and like, "That will mean that you love me." No. The only time I believe gift receiving is a love language is when like, when I receive a small tchotchke from someone.

• 16:52Brooke Averick?

  Small what?

• 16:53Connor Wood?

  Tchotchke. I'm like, "That's special."

• 16:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Connor Wood?

  Because you have now projected your love for me onto a little meaningless little thing that I could fit in my mouth.

• 17:03Brooke Averick?

  But what about when it means something? That's even better.

• 17:05Connor Wood?

  Like, no Samsung 72-inch TV like, means anything to a person besides like, big TV vibes.

• 17:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:11Connor Wood?

  But like, a little, like, when people find a rock and give it to me, I'm like, "Oh, my God."

• 17:14Brooke Averick?

  Mm, that's really sweet.

• 17:16Connor Wood?

  "You have been on your mind." I wish I could hit that note. I've been listening to a lot of Adele.

• 17:23Brooke Averick?

  I love Adele.

• 17:24Connor Wood?

  There is not a better person than Adele, better celebrity than Adele. I really think she takes the cake for me as like, one of the best celebrities. For her, the level that she's at as an A-lister, the way she carries herself and acts, like, she also works, she works really hard, like, the Vegas thing, I can't imagine doing it, like, show every night in Vegas.

• 17:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:44Connor Wood?

  But like, the way she puts out an album once every 10 years, admirable.

• 17:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:49Connor Wood?

  And every now and then she'll do carpool karaoke, remind everyone who she is.

• 17:53Brooke Averick?

  She's the perfect mix of like, personality and

• 17:56Connor Wood?

  Genuine pure talent.

• 17:57Brooke Averick?

  Untouchable celebrity talent. Speaking of, something happened this weekend.

• 18:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah?

• 18:05Brooke Averick?

  A few of our friends went to some sort of big event.

• 18:09Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I saw it.

• 18:10Brooke Averick?

  It was like, a gala with like, so, um, so many celebrities, and so it was like, Tristan was there, our friend Frankie was there, and, uh, our friend Andrew Garfield was there too, and, uh, there were connections that were made. Tristan said to him, he was on the phone, and Tristan said

• 18:31Connor Wood?

  Tristan walked up to AG while he's on the phone?

• 18:33Brooke Averick?

  On the phone.

• 18:33Connor Wood?

  Okay, good.

• 18:35Brooke Averick?

  Which is like, perfect and everything. And he said, "You mean a lot to me and my friend Brooke," and then they hugged.

• 18:43Connor Wood?

  Oh, that's really special.

• 18:44Brooke Averick?

  Isn't that special?

• 18:45Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 18:46Brooke Averick?

  And then Frankie said that she loved his performance in "We Live in Time," and he said, "Thank you so much." Isn't that crazy?

• 18:54Connor Wood?

  That is awesome.

• 18:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:56Connor Wood?

  That's good that.

• 18:58Brooke Averick?

  It's good that.

• 18:59Connor Wood?

  To keep it short and sweet.

• 18:59Brooke Averick?

  Keep it short and sweet. Keep it short and sweet. I love that they were able to establish some connections.

• 19:05Connor Wood?

  One degree of separation.

• 19:07Brooke Averick?

  One degree.

• 19:08Connor Wood?

  That's crazy.

• 19:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 19:09Connor Wood?

  That looks really cool, that thing. Like, I've never seen that ever happen before.

• 19:14Brooke Averick?

  I don't know exactly what it was.

• 19:17Connor Wood?

  How were seven of our friends able to?

• 19:20Brooke Averick?

  Because one of our friends works for Charlie and Troy. And they were performing. And I think they wanted people to kind of amp up, like, the crowd during their performance.

• 19:33Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 19:34Brooke Averick?

  And Meghan was the Apple Girl during one of Charlie's LA shows. So she's like a hype team and everything, considering.

• 19:42Connor Wood?

  Did you see, so the guy that pushed Brittany Rosky out of the Apple Dance?

• 19:47Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 19:48Connor Wood?

  Video?

• 19:48Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 19:49Connor Wood?

  He's like, he went from being like the most hated man on the internet. Now I'm seeing they're like, wait, I like this guy.

• 19:54Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I haven't seen people come back in that direction.

• 19:55Connor Wood?

  I've fully seen it because he's like at this trivia, this random disgusting bar, doing the Apple Dance. And everyone's like, oh.

• 20:03Brooke Averick?

  No, someone pushed him out of the way during that, in that video.

• 20:06Connor Wood?

  There's a new video then, because I watched the whole thing and he like goes back and sits down.

• 20:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, he does sit down, but someone like pushes him.

• 20:14Connor Wood?

  Maybe I didn't watch the whole video? I don't know. I feel like all of the tweets have been net positive.

• 20:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I've only seen negativity for him.

• 20:22Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 20:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 20:23Connor Wood?

  Maybe it's the way we see the world.

• 20:25Brooke Averick?

  No, I think it's just like, I've only seen negativity, genuinely.

• 20:29Connor Wood?

  Oh, I just like kind of chose to see positivity in that.

• 20:32Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 20:33Connor Wood?

  But I guess we're different, me and you.

• 20:37Connor Wood?

  But we're also, at the same time, we're not so different.

• 20:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I can't stop saying me and who.

• 20:43Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 20:43Brooke Averick?

  Like, even when there's like two people walking down the street that like are completely unrelated, probably. Me and who?

• 20:49Connor Wood?

  I saw you put that in our notes for this episode and I was like, oh, she's done writing? It was just me and who? Did she mean to put like context?

• 20:58Brooke Averick?

  No, I just like cannot stop saying it every time I see two people doing anything.

• 21:04Connor Wood?

  That's lovely.

• 21:04Brooke Averick?

  Like, two people sitting on a bench, me and who?

• 21:06Connor Wood?

  That's romanticizing your day to day life.

• 21:10Brooke Averick?

  Two people walking on opposite sides of the street, me and who?

• 21:14Brooke Averick?

  A young woman at the doctor's office, me and who?

• 21:16Connor Wood?

  And she's by herself?

• 21:17Brooke Averick?

  No, she's with the doctor, sorry, that wasn't clear.

• 21:19Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 21:19Brooke Averick?

  A young, a patient with a doctor, me and who?

• 21:26Speaker 03

  It's me, the

• 21:29Speaker 03

  We don't need the jingle twice.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how Priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights, and rental cars.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to 60% off hotels in the Priceline app. Fine. No one deals more deals than

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Please stop. Touche. Priceline.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  I don't know what I'm doing. Need a break. Forget it, I quit. Escape to Pluto TV.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  This is objectively fantastic.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Relax into the movies and shows you already know and love, all for free. Even our news is uplifting. You stay classy, San Diego. Watch Tommy Boy, Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, The Ex Files, Wayne's World, and so much more.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  The best things on TV really are free. You just have to know where to look. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 22:24Connor Wood?

  I never told you guys when I went to the doctor a couple weeks ago, well, two weeks ago, one week ago, I can't, I don't know anymore.

• 22:33Connor Wood?

  I got fully naked because they gave me a robe and then they were like, "Why are you naked?"

• 22:37Brooke Averick?

  Why would they give you a robe if that's not what they wanted?

• 22:39Connor Wood?

  They were like, "You can leave your shirt on." Oh, and I was like...

• 22:44Brooke Averick?

  And your panty?

• 22:45Connor Wood?

  But you want my pants on? They were like, like, "No, because you can't wear shorts, but like, you're not wearing underwear?" And I was like, "No." And so I was just like, fully Winnie the Pooh-ing into this, I just have a walk into the hallway, like, ass out.

• 23:02Connor Wood?

  Fully butt-chaked out, down the hallway.

• 23:05Brooke Averick?

  They wouldn't let you wear your shorts? What's the difference between shorts and underwear?

• 23:08Connor Wood?

  I said, "Isn't this massive X-ray machine the size of like, like a villain sort of cannon laser launcher from a Marvel movie, it's not able to get through my corduroy shorts?"

• 23:20Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you didn't say you were in corduroys. I had pictured the mesh.

• 23:23Connor Wood?

  It's going full-blown through my bones and flesh and it can't get through my-

• 23:27Brooke Averick?

  Can't penetrate the corduroy.

• 23:28Connor Wood?

  My corduroys? So I'm just fully-

• 23:32Connor Wood?

  B and C out, like walking through the hallway barefoot, shirt on for no reason.

• 23:37Brooke Averick?

  Did you put your shirt back on once they said?

• 23:39Connor Wood?

  I was naked, she comes in, the most smug x-ray provider, like it wasn't a nurse, it wasn't a PA, like, no community's come for me, I don't know what her job was, she ran the x-ray. Radiologist, get your hands off of my jugular, I do not know her profession or what it entails, I'm just saying, she was a bitch. She came in and she was like, are you really naked? And I was like, what do you want me to do here? Did I tell you what the doctor came in and said to me, by the way?

• 24:07Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 24:07Connor Wood?

  Did I not tell the story?

• 24:08Brooke Averick?

  No, I don't know, why did you get an x-ray?

• 24:11Connor Wood?

  Because I thought I was dying, it was my stomach. Did I not tell this story at all?

• 24:14Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 24:15Connor Wood?

  Well, I haven't been back here since Atlanta.

• 24:17Brooke Averick?

  No, you haven't.

• 24:19Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, wow. Um, I got to Atlanta and I landed super late again and I couldn't sleep the whole night and my shows were the next day, two shows that night. And I woke up at 6 a.m. or I didn't wake up, I was just like already awake. And I was like, I need to go to the ER, like this is so bad. So I go, as soon as they open. And I was like, I should walk because I feel like it would be good to walk. Like, a full mile, I'm sweating, my stomach's killing me, I had to sit down, and it's like a highway interstate.

• 24:50Connor Wood?

  And then I go in and I'm having a coffee because I'm like, I'm exhausted, I, and he's like, you need to not be drinking coffee, like if your stomach is hurting. So I was keeled over, like signing in, obviously that was the woman's first day on the job, the receptionist. And even though I had already prefilled out all my documents going in, she was like, that does not transfer over to us. And I was like, anyways, I had to refill out all my stuff, which took 20 minutes. And I'm 20 minutes late for this appointment.

• 25:18Brooke Averick?

  Did she ask you why you were there?

• 25:20Connor Wood?

  I was like, my stomach hurts, my stomach hurts. And then I was like, I actually need to sit down over there. So then I'm in the waiting room being like, diarrhea to the front desk, for my symptoms. Just so everybody knows.

• 25:29Brooke Averick?

  I wish they would just like slip you a little piece of paper, then you could write it on and slip it back.

• 25:34Connor Wood?

  It was just so loud.

• 25:35Brooke Averick?

  Like, like a one dollar bill.

• 25:38Connor Wood?

  Like

• 25:39Brooke Averick?

  Even a five?

• 25:40Connor Wood?

  But I did fill it out already. So I was just kinda like, okay, that's annoying. Go back, they run urine test, blood test, x-ray, which the x-ray, I was like, they'll figure something out through the x-ray. Doctor comes in and I'm there for four and a half hours too. This is the day of my shows. Like, I'm like, I need to go and like, get ready, but I was in so much pain. And so they come back in with the x-rays and doctor's like, you seem stressed. And I was like,

• 26:04Connor Wood?

  I like really think I'm dying, right? I thought I had an ulcer, like that's how much pain I was in. And then I was like, um, what's going on? Like, what's the thing? And he's like, you're a comedian? And I'm like, please tell me if I'm dying. Like, he literally is like, and I love comedy. Like, who's your favorite comedian? I'm like, tell me what's wrong. He pulls up the x-ray and he sees, he goes, see all this shit, pointing at my whole body, the whole part that was skin. I was like, yeah? What part? He showed my stomach and he's like, that is all poop and farts.

• 26:32Brooke Averick?

  I thought the problem was that you couldn't stop pooping and farting.

• 26:34Connor Wood?

  I told him, I was like, sorry guys, like, listening. But no, it's like, I'm constantly PNFing.

• 26:42Connor Wood?

  So I was like, I don't need any help there. He's like, I know, but this is just-

• 26:45Brooke Averick?

  So why is it building up like so?

• 26:47Connor Wood?

  So he was saying that like, I could have definitely gotten food poisoning from that halal that I had, that street halal. And he's like, because that's meat that sits out for 12 hours a day. He's like, you really need to stop eating that. And I was like-

• 26:58Brooke Averick?

  But wasn't that so long ago?

• 27:00Connor Wood?

  It was, so by the time I got x-rayed and stuff, it was a week-

• 27:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Connor Wood?

  Prior, which it's pretty common, I think, to have like, it, you like, get through it after like, seven days. Like, that's the talent. Not for me. Not for a guy like me. But I got on antibiotics, um, and things.

• 27:16Brooke Averick?

  For food poisoning?

• 27:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Well, they said that it could be like an infection from the food poisoning.

• 27:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh. And are you better now?

• 27:22Connor Wood?

  Oh, god, no.

• 27:25Brooke Averick?

  You're still PNFing or it's different?

• 27:27Connor Wood?

  We don't have to get into all that. But yeah, I'm not in like, a great state of mind.

• 27:31Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my god, Connor, I'm sorry. Maybe you should get a second opinion.

• 27:33Connor Wood?

  I'm going to the gastroenterologist.

• 27:35Brooke Averick?

  That's good.

• 27:36Connor Wood?

  So looking forward to reporting back on my medical experience. Luckily, I leave for New York City tomorrow and like, fully have a full week of work.

• 27:46Brooke Averick?

  You might just be, you might have like, an ulcer from stress, genuinely.

• 27:51Connor Wood?

  The doctor was like, you seem stressed. And I was like, I like, I'm, I'm pretty stressed, but it's crazy that like, my, my health-

• 27:58Connor Wood?

  Fear, my health anxiety causes, I think, a lot of the things that I'm feeling sick about. Like, lack of sleep is contributing to all this. Like, stomach ache probably contribute like, and it's about because I feel like, I'm like, there's no, there's no tumor or ulcer in my poop? Like, in my poop and farts? Is there, and all those bumps right there, like?

• 28:16Brooke Averick?

  You, you very well could just have anxiety, because that's what happens with emetophobia, which is like, you're so scared you're gonna throw up, that you actually start to feel nauseous.

• 28:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 28:25Brooke Averick?

  And it just like, is the cycle over and over and over again? And that happens with so much health anxiety, and that genuinely could be what's happening to you.

• 28:34Connor Wood?

  I think so. Luckily, I won't be able to deal with it until after. My show's in New York City this weekend! It's Thursday right now. My, so my shows will be tomorrow to everybody listening.

• 28:44Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay. Yeah, I was like, damn, Thursday already?

• 28:47Connor Wood?

  I know. That's scary.

• 28:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:49Connor Wood?

  This one, I really, I know you're always saying, like, comedians do the same show. This one, I'm like, I wanna write new show, new stuff, and I do like, a lot more crowd work now.

• 28:55Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:56Connor Wood?

  So it's been really fun. So I think that I will have, like, a relatively newer set. I do feel, for all the people that are gonna be seeing the show for the third time, because people do keep going to the same show, but...

• 29:05Brooke Averick?

  I do that with comedians that I love. I've seen that John Mulaney did the same set, like, 18 times.

• 29:10Connor Wood?

  My friends that have come to several shows are like, that was so much better. So I, I kinda like when my friends comes, because they're like, that show, like, I've seen the jokes, but like, you've developed them enough, or like, that was so much better.

• 29:21Connor Wood?

  So I am thinking I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna see how much I can prep this week, and then, if not, like, I always have my long, plenty of long time to go. Um, I have Grace O'Malley's doing the shows with me, Maggie Winters, and Jake Cornell, who's gonna be a new president for me.

• 29:38Brooke Averick?

  Love!

• 29:38Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's gonna be really, really fun.

• 29:40Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I'm excited for you.

• 29:41Connor Wood?

  One thing I'm nervous about, going out to NYC, is I'm going out to NYC on election day? So by the time this comes out, like, we'll have a new president of the United States? Talk about stomach ache.

• 29:52Brooke Averick?

  So, so, yeah, um, let's manifest the right outcome.

• 29:58Connor Wood?

  Of course. I'm nervous, like, with, I'm not getting into anything. I, I'm nervous, because I'll be flying into New York City, like,

• 30:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 30:05Connor Wood?

  when the decision is made, and I'm scared...

• 30:07Brooke Averick?

  And either way, there's gonna be chaos, probably.

• 30:09Connor Wood?

  Vladimir Putin's gonna just, like, turn off all of, I don't know, like, I feel like it's like, I don't wanna manifest anything like this. Like, hopefully, it'll just be, like, awesome and celebratory, and, um, I'll just pretty much get it there and go to bed, which would be great, but I'm really scared that I'm gonna land in, like, the city.

• 30:24Brooke Averick?

  Like Gotham?

• 30:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 30:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Well, let's, we don't have to worry about it because it's all gonna end up, it's all gonna end up.

• 30:32Connor Wood?

  I'm not gonna be able to watch because I'll be on a flight.

• 30:35Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's good. Hmm, I never mind. I'm not gonna say even one thing negatively in this space that could influence the outcome of the election.

• 30:42Connor Wood?

  I am gonna watch, I know, I'm gonna watch, genuinely, I'm gonna watch Lilo and Stitch and, and, and just be like, I'm watching Lilo and Stitch.

• 30:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you could always think that when you're watching Lilo and Stitch.

• 30:51Connor Wood?

  Do you think that they're gonna put it on the plane, like, like they do with football games and like, that's Super Bowl they put on the?

• 30:59Brooke Averick?

  Only some planes have like live TV. But if there's live TV, there's live TV on.

• 31:05Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, I'm scared to be on a plane.

• 31:07Brooke Averick?

  I'm bummed that I am registered in California now because my vote used to matter in Pennsylvania.

• 31:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that is kinda crazy.

• 31:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 31:15Connor Wood?

  I know, I saw a lot of people flying to their home states to like get their voice heard, which.

• 31:21Brooke Averick?

  I didn't have an option, like, because I got a California license and so they register you.

• 31:26Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 31:26Brooke Averick?

  Here regardless.

• 31:28Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna have to get a new license soon.

• 31:29Brooke Averick?

  Why are the, why are all of the prompts on, um, the ballot in riddles?

• 31:35Brooke Averick?

  I am very scared that I did something wrong for one of the props.

• 31:41Connor Wood?

  It's confusing. I also think.

• 31:43Brooke Averick?

  Make it accessible.

• 31:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 31:45Brooke Averick?

  Make it accessible.

• 31:46Connor Wood?

  I thought, I always think about like all of the, like, local votes, like when you go in and they're like, here's all this stuff. Do people just skip that? Like if you're not informed?

• 31:53Brooke Averick?

  I think some people do.

• 31:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Because there was some stuff for Venice that I.

• 31:57Brooke Averick?

  But there's like a lot of good guides online, which I realized, um, once I couldn't crack most of the riddles.

• 32:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 32:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so.

• 32:06Connor Wood?

  Amazing.

• 32:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 32:10Connor Wood?

  When's the last time you built a sandcastle?

• 32:14Brooke Averick?

  Um, probably like a minute. I've been, I like digging holes more.

• 32:20Connor Wood?

  What?

• 32:21Brooke Averick?

  I'm more of a hole girl.

• 32:22Connor Wood?

  Whoa, I never really would have pegged you as a hole girl.

• 32:26Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 32:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I kind of, I also don't picture you as a sandcastle girl because I feel like you'd be like, I'm not doing all that.

• 32:33Brooke Averick?

  That's how, that is how, oh, I'm, I love a good drip castle.

• 32:37Connor Wood?

  Those are fun. Yeah, I do see you as a drip castle girl.

• 32:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but I used, like, when I was a kid, I was mostly eating the sand and looking for creatures.

• 32:47Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, I hate the kids that collect like live crabs and they put them in a bucket. I'm like, they're dying in there.

• 32:51Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, they were dying.

• 32:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and like every 10 feet, there's a pile of crab carcasses from like a kid who had them in his pail for eight hours at the beach.

• 33:01Brooke Averick?

  Well, you know, some kids might put a lot of sand in their bucket for the crabs, so.

• 33:06Connor Wood?

  But like the ones-

• 33:07Brooke Averick?

  They can live for an hour or so while, while the kids look at them.

• 33:11Connor Wood?

  There was one time, this is a regret of mine that I lose sleep over. It was really, really low tide one year, one summer, and the tide had gone so far out that there were sand dollars everywhere.

• 33:23Brooke Averick?

  Are those the jellyfish?

• 33:25Connor Wood?

  No, they're like rocks.

• 33:27Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 33:28Connor Wood?

  But the sand dollars were everywhere and I collected like genuinely 50 sand dollars and I took them home.

• 33:33Brooke Averick?

  Are they the slimy things? Oh, no.

• 33:35Connor Wood?

  It's like stones.

• 33:36Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay.

• 33:37Connor Wood?

  But-

• 33:37Brooke Averick?

  I've never seen that.

• 33:38Connor Wood?

  You've never seen a sand dollar?

• 33:39Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm from the East Coast.

• 33:45Connor Wood?

  Invalid argument. I'm from the East Coast, we only have bagels. No, you-

• 33:51Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm saying we only, we have these slimy circles is what I'm saying.

• 33:54Connor Wood?

  That's a jellyfish, yeah.

• 33:55Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's, but it's not active.

• 33:58Connor Wood?

  They swim.

• 33:59Brooke Averick?

  It's a dead slimy circle.

• 34:02Connor Wood?

  I don't think it's dead, I know what you're talking about, but they just like, they, they're alive-

• 34:05Brooke Averick?

  They don't sting or anything.

• 34:08Connor Wood?

  Some jellyfish are truly just like jelly.

• 34:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, this was jelly.

• 34:12Connor Wood?

  Um, I got stung by a jellyfish when I was in Miami.

• 34:16Brooke Averick?

  Was it really?

• 34:16Connor Wood?

  But hang on, I want to tell this story about the sand dollars. So I collect 50, like 50 sand dollars, I'm not kidding, and I, I brought them all home and I was like, this is amazing.

• 34:24Brooke Averick?

  You're the one who brought up Miami.

• 34:26Connor Wood?

  I want to finish my sand dollar story, Brooke.

• 34:29Brooke Averick?

  I'm just saying, you started talking about something and then yelled at me.

• 34:32Connor Wood?

  For someone that has absolutely no experience or knowledge of sand dollars, you really are like not open to-

• 34:40Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm dying to hear about it. I just want to say you started going, I got stung by a jellyfish in Miami, started going on that and goes, and then you go, I want to finish my story about sand dollars, yelling at me.

• 34:48Connor Wood?

  Well, because you got me to the jellyfish chat.

• 34:50Brooke Averick?

  I didn't get, I didn't make you do anything.

• 34:53Connor Wood?

  You're gaslighting me.

• 34:54Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 34:55Connor Wood?

  Jellyfish style.

• 34:56Brooke Averick?

  Connor, please, I want to hear about the sand dollars.

• 34:57Connor Wood?

  Okay, stop begging.

• 35:00Brooke Averick?

  Not a good look on you.

• 35:03Connor Wood?

  Desperation doesn't look good on you, Glenda. Whoa. So I collect like 50 sand dollars and I take them home and I like look up like how to preserve sand dollars and I want to put these all around in the yard and then they start to stink. And then I realized sand dollars are alive and I absolutely just like laid them out in the sun and killed them all. Yeah.

• 35:23Brooke Averick?

  They're alive?

• 35:24Connor Wood?

  They're living creatures. Can we look up, let's look into sand dollars a little bit.

• 35:30Connor Wood?

  Like what the hell are sand dollars? Where is Google AI when you need it? Sand dollars like is gonna answer the same way I am. Rocks. Okay. Sand dollar living, moving in the sand. I see it like a little bit moves. It's like kind of like a sea creature.

• 35:45Brooke Averick?

  That it genuinely looks like the slime balls that I used to collect.

• 35:51Connor Wood?

  Can only so many people have not maybe seen a sand dollar.

• 35:53Brooke Averick?

  I have never seen. Izzy, can you Google are there sand dollars or where are there sand dollars?

• 36:00Connor Wood?

  Sand dollars native home. Sand dollars roots.

• 36:03Brooke Averick?

  Go ahead and read that for us.

• 36:04Connor Wood?

  Okay, sand dollars are found in tropical and temperate waters all over the world, including the Pacific, Atlantic and Caribbean Ocean. So just about everywhere you've ever been to a beach would have sand dollars.

• 36:14Brooke Averick?

  Izzy, can you Google are there sand dollars at the Jersey Shore?

• 36:20Connor Wood?

  No, there's just hot dogs.

• 36:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah, sand dollars are common at the Jersey Shore beaches.

• 36:26Brooke Averick?

  Ever, ever seen one.

• 36:28Connor Wood?

  Wow, maybe you just weren't looking.

• 36:29Brooke Averick?

  I wa- I was always hunting.

• 36:32Connor Wood?

  It's crazy.

• 36:33Brooke Averick?

  I was a collector.

• 36:34Connor Wood?

  You and me both.

• 36:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Oh, I wish we could play together when we were little and collect.

• 36:39Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, my parents, if you literally called my dad right now and be like, what was I like as a kid? They'd be like, your pants were always falling to your knees because your pockets were full of rocks. We would have to empty them when I would get in the car from school because they're like, we're not bringing any more pebbles home. I would literally go to like the sidewalk that was paved in pebbles and be like scoop, pocket, scoop, pocket. I, I am a, I am a gatherer.

• 37:01Brooke Averick?

  You should have gone into geology.

• 37:04Connor Wood?

  I could have.

• 37:05Brooke Averick?

  And I would have, I would have done marine biology.

• 37:08Connor Wood?

  A geologist and a marine biologist walk into a bar.

• 37:11Brooke Averick?

  What do they say?

• 37:12Connor Wood?

  Can we get two tequila sodas, please? We got work to do. What would your name be if you were a marine biologist?

• 37:19Brooke Averick?

  Uh, maybe Brooke?

• 37:21Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah. I forgot this isn't a fantasy. I was gonna say mine would be like Arch or something.

• 37:27Brooke Averick?

  Maybe honestly like Miriam.

• 37:30Connor Wood?

  Arch and Miriam make-

• 37:31Brooke Averick?

  A little bit more serious?

• 37:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 37:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 37:34Connor Wood?

  Arch and Miriam walk into a bar.

• 37:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 37:36Connor Wood?

  And they order-

• 37:37Brooke Averick?

  They're doing vodka sodas, though.

• 37:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah, oh my god, they are. They totally are. I'm getting a mudslide, actually.

• 37:42Brooke Averick?

  I almost might even do a whiskey.

• 37:45Connor Wood?

  Oh my god.

• 37:46Brooke Averick?

  Or bourbon.

• 37:47Connor Wood?

  I'm sticking-

• 37:47Brooke Averick?

  Miriam is obsessed with bourbon.

• 37:49Connor Wood?

  Hmm, Arch has a fun side and he's gonna have a mudslide, cuz he doesn't have-

• 37:52Brooke Averick?

  What's a mudslide?

• 37:53Connor Wood?

  It's just like a milky frothy chocolatey vodka drink.

• 37:56Brooke Averick?

  Arch would not do a mudslide.

• 37:58Connor Wood?

  He would, cuz he doesn't have-

• 37:59Brooke Averick?

  He likes a lot loose like that?

• 38:00Connor Wood?

  He doesn't have IBS.

• 38:01Brooke Averick?

  Oh, Arch doesn't?

• 38:02Connor Wood?

  He can have a mudslide. It's a fantasy, Brooke.

• 38:05Brooke Averick?

  Hmm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take you down.

• 38:08Connor Wood?

  In my fantasy, me, Arch, Arch is having a mudslide and, and then laying flat down and not worrying that he might pee the bee.

• 38:19Brooke Averick?

  Has Arch ever peed the bee?

• 38:21Connor Wood?

  No, never, he wouldn't.

• 38:22Brooke Averick?

  He wouldn't.

• 38:23Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, he wouldn't. He does love dogs.

• 38:25Brooke Averick?

  Is his mudslide almost non-alcoholic?

• 38:27Connor Wood?

  No, it has alcohol in it, because he's had a long day. He's discovered a rock.

• 38:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 38:33Brooke Averick?

  Totally.

• 38:34Connor Wood?

  He discovered a new kind of rock, too.

• 38:35Brooke Averick?

  Would you be interested in digging for fossils?

• 38:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I would love that. I've already said that on this show, I promise you.

• 38:40Brooke Averick?

  Well-

• 38:41Connor Wood?

  You can look at the transcripts.

• 38:42Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, I'm not arguing.

• 38:45Connor Wood?

  I thought I found fossils all the time.

• 38:48Connor Wood?

  It was like dead-

• 38:49Brooke Averick?

  You might have.

• 38:49Connor Wood?

  No, it was like dead rat bones, cuz we had so many owls where I lived, and so the, the owls would eat the, like, mice, I guess, like, field mice, and then just poop their bones out, and I'd be like, I found a fossil.

• 39:00Brooke Averick?

  Did you ever dissect an owl pellet?

• 39:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 39:03Brooke Averick?

  How fun. We should do that.

• 39:04Connor Wood?

  Really fun. I don't need to anymore, cuz I feel-

• 39:06Brooke Averick?

  Also, where was my sign seizure getting all those owl pellets?

• 39:09Connor Wood?

  You can buy them in bulk.

• 39:10Brooke Averick?

  From where?

• 39:11Connor Wood?

  Amazon.

• 39:14Brooke Averick?

  Are they just sitting in a warehouse?

• 39:16Connor Wood?

  Someone is making a damn fortune being like, yeah, my owl is shitting so much, and I'm just selling these to eighth graders.

• 39:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh, they're shit? I always thought they would throw them up.

• 39:25Connor Wood?

  Oh my god. Large owl-

• 39:27Brooke Averick?

  Like a, like a hairball. I was thinking hairball.

• 39:29Connor Wood?

  Large owl pellet bucket set of fifty. You said you're a collector.

• 39:33Brooke Averick?

  I'll just do the set of fifty.

• 39:36Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. Where, where, so can we, um, I just really quickly need to confirm or deny where, where these are, which, which hole these are coming out of.

• 39:47Brooke Averick?

  How do owls, let's Google, how do owls produce owl pellets?

• 39:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah, Brooke, let's like, let's Arch and Miriam this shit out of this and be mature.

• 39:54Brooke Averick?

  Let's. Brooke and Connor would have Googled, do owl, owl shit or puke their pellets? But Arch and Miriam, how are they produced?

• 40:04Connor Wood?

  Do ellet shit vomit?

• 40:06Brooke Averick?

  Shit vomit.

• 40:07Connor Wood?

  Come out of their, their jugs or their butt, butts? Owls have butts. Uh, whoa. But not butt cheeks. Oh my God, they might have butt cheeks.

• 40:20Connor Wood?

  Can we type in naked owl?

• 40:21Brooke Averick?

  Wait, what is, what is, what does that say?

• 40:23Connor Wood?

  Oh yeah, owls produce owl pellets by regurgitating.

• 40:26Brooke Averick?

  It's the regurgitation.

• 40:27Connor Wood?

  Okay, cool. Yeah, that actually makes a ton of sense.

• 40:29Brooke Averick?

  The regurgitation process. Yeah, naked owl, if you don't mind.

• 40:33Connor Wood?

  Just, yeah, featherless owl, maybe, because.

• 40:35Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 40:36Connor Wood?

  Oh, that sucks to see.

• 40:38Brooke Averick?

  But I don't, that doesn't answer your question about the cheeks.

• 40:43Connor Wood?

  Owl ass. No.

• 40:46Brooke Averick?

  Do you think we'll get flagged for Googling naked owl rear?

• 40:50Connor Wood?

  Rear end of owl? No, let's try.

• 40:54Connor Wood?

  No, see, I think that they're probably protecting us. It might be a visual that if we see, we won't ever be able to unsee.

• 41:02Connor Wood?

  Did they decide yet if we can put Q-tips in our ear? Is that always gonna be this like dark, twisted, guilty pleasure of mine?

• 41:09Brooke Averick?

  You totally can, just not in the hole. Q-tips are meant for cleaning out the, the surface area.

• 41:15Connor Wood?

  You're not, you're not putting them in your hole?

• 41:17Brooke Averick?

  I am, but they're, you're not supposed to.

• 41:19Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. Like, figure it out.

• 41:23Brooke Averick?

  They have, they're very clear about it.

• 41:25Connor Wood?

  No, I'm saying make a Q-tip that we can put in our hole.

• 41:28Brooke Averick?

  They have. The ones that like are skinny at the bottom and then they get big, like a cotton ball, so they can't go in the hole.

• 41:35Connor Wood?

  It's kind of funny that we just.

• 41:36Brooke Averick?

  Assuming your ear holes are tight.

• 41:40Connor Wood?

  Hard to say. I haven't gotten a second opinion.

• 41:43Brooke Averick?

  I have small little ear holes.

• 41:44Connor Wood?

  Do you?

• 41:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I do.

• 41:47Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 41:47Brooke Averick?

  Some, some earphones don't fit.

• 41:51Connor Wood?

  Oh, damn.

• 41:54Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 41:55Brooke Averick?

  A lot of people might not know that.

• 41:56Connor Wood?

  No idea, Brooklyn.

• 41:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, a lot of people.

• 41:59Connor Wood?

  There's gonna be some freaks that jerk off to you saying that, by the way.

• 42:01Brooke Averick?

  Ew, Connor.

• 42:03Connor Wood?

  I'm just telling you, like, that's how the internet works.

• 42:05Brooke Averick?

  There, there was like, no reason for that to come out of your mouth.

• 42:09Connor Wood?

  No, like, there's freaks online, Brooke.

• 42:11Brooke Averick?

  No, I know, I do know that.

• 42:14Brooke Averick?

  At the end of the day.

• 42:17Speaker 03

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• 42:21Speaker 03

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• 42:32Speaker 03

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• 42:38Speaker 03

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• 42:45Speaker 03

  Priceline.

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• 43:45Connor Wood?

  Out of context, what you said is not.

• 43:47Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I won't talk about my ear holes again.

• 43:49Connor Wood?

  Well, we've brought up several types of holes today. You said you're more of a hole girl.

• 43:55Brooke Averick?

  Wait, why did I say that?

• 43:56Connor Wood?

  I said, girls are-

• 43:57Brooke Averick?

  What was the context for me saying?

• 43:59Connor Wood?

  Girls are broken into two categories, sand castle girl and hole girl.

• 44:03Brooke Averick?

  Oh yeah, I am.

• 44:04Connor Wood?

  I'm more of a, I'm more of a castle girl myself.

• 44:07Brooke Averick?

  Did you like when people buried you in a hole?

• 44:10Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I don't, I didn't get offered to be buried that often. I don't know what that says about-

• 44:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I guess I didn't either, but I wouldn't.

• 44:16Connor Wood?

  You wouldn't be buried?

• 44:16Brooke Averick?

  I think I would feel like too claustrophobic.

• 44:18Connor Wood?

  I feel like I would love that. Not, not deeply buried, but just kind of lightly buried.

• 44:23Brooke Averick?

  Or like I would be scared that like a creature would get, get at me from the bottom.

• 44:28Connor Wood?

  Sand fleas?

• 44:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, or, or worse.

• 44:31Connor Wood?

  Worms?

• 44:32Brooke Averick?

  Something, yeah, something worse.

• 44:34Connor Wood?

  Max lets me bury him.

• 44:35Brooke Averick?

  Almost like a shark too.

• 44:36Connor Wood?

  Not fully, but like, yeah, he lets me like cover his body.

• 44:39Brooke Averick?

  Oh my God, speaking of Max.

• 44:41Connor Wood?

  What?

• 44:41Brooke Averick?

  I met Mimi this weekend.

• 44:43Connor Wood?

  Oh yeah, my, my, my Mimi.

• 44:46Brooke Averick?

  Just as, just as perfect as I was expecting.

• 44:48Connor Wood?

  That was super sweet. It was so weird because I figured like she was coming up to, did she come up to you?

• 44:53Brooke Averick?

  Yes!

• 44:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 44:55Brooke Averick?

  Like what an honor!

• 44:56Connor Wood?

  That was super cute.

• 44:57Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I love, I love, I love that girl.

• 45:00Connor Wood?

  She's so funny. She was having so much fun at the, at the baby shower.

• 45:05Brooke Averick?

  Can you say that now?

• 45:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah, cousin Logan is pregnant. I posted it, so I hope.

• 45:08Brooke Averick?

  Uh huh.

• 45:09Connor Wood?

  Cousin Logan's pregnant and she's like seven months pregnant.

• 45:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, she's due in January.

• 45:14Connor Wood?

  And she might be early due. That's what the doctor was saying. I don't know if you can share that information. Yeah, early due, early due.

• 45:20Brooke Averick?

  Wow. That's crazy. I probably won't see her again until she has the baby.

• 45:25Connor Wood?

  I was thinking the same thing because I'm gonna be on tour and then maybe Christmas, I guess.

• 45:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 45:29Connor Wood?

  But if she goes early due mode, then I won't have seen her.

• 45:33Brooke Averick?

  That's always such a weird relationship, the cousin and the cousin's kid, because it's like, what do you call your cousin uncle?

• 45:40Connor Wood?

  I'll be uncle for all these kids.

• 45:43Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 45:43Connor Wood?

  For sure.

• 45:44Brooke Averick?

  Right, that makes sense to me, but like technically you're not, which never makes sense. Like my mom's cousins, like not, like being my cousin too, never made sense to me. Like just be my uncle.

• 45:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 45:55Brooke Averick?

  You know?

• 45:56Connor Wood?

  Well, because they're just not related.

• 45:57Brooke Averick?

  Well, because they're just like not my age. They're more of an uncle age.

• 46:00Connor Wood?

  You know what's funny is I didn't grow up with anyone that was like so close to my parents that I called them my aunt or my uncle.

• 46:06Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 46:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah, isn't that weird?

• 46:07Brooke Averick?

  Oh my God, I, everyone was aunt or uncle.

• 46:09Connor Wood?

  I yearn for an honorary aunt or uncle. Like I yearn for that.

• 46:12Brooke Averick?

  No, Connor, I would be like 11 and my dad would be like, this, here, here's Uncle Phil. And I've never met Uncle Phil, so how was he uncle?

• 46:21Connor Wood?

  Like, were you like, is this your brother?

• 46:24Brooke Averick?

  No, I mean, like, I did know it wasn't his brother, but like, he was doing uncle to like way everyone was uncle, instead of like Mr. Or Mrs. Almost.

• 46:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 46:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. But I did have a lot of-

• 46:34Connor Wood?

  A lot of people call me Uncle Phibs, which is, which is so funny.

• 46:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 46:39Connor Wood?

  And sometimes I'm like, oh.

• 46:42Connor Wood?

  We're not that close. But I'll be your kid's uncle. Uncle Phibs.

• 46:47Brooke Averick?

  Kid, people without kids are calling you Uncle Phibs?

• 46:49Connor Wood?

  No.

• 46:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I thought you meant just like people in a bar or something.

• 46:53Connor Wood?

  No, no, no adult people come up to me and say, you're my uncle.

• 46:57Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 46:58Connor Wood?

  We're so close that you're my uncle.

• 46:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Well, Uncle Phibs, like.

• 47:03Brooke Averick?

  It's like Uncle Cracker, the musician.

• 47:05Connor Wood?

  Maybe when I get older and there's a, maybe I'll have a younger fan base and they'll call me, that's a really scary thought. To be older than a group of people who could be like a younger and like appropriately listening to like this podcast, maybe, like maybe my stand up and stuff and be like, oh, we think of you as our, as our elders.

• 47:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, an elder comedian. Icon.

• 47:28Connor Wood?

  Like someone I, someone I look up to. You know?

• 47:31Brooke Averick?

  Right. Oh, I, like, obviously. I'm gonna say I hate this, I obviously don't hate it, it's so sweet.

• 47:38Connor Wood?

  Cause aging is a blessing.

• 47:39Brooke Averick?

  People are like, no, I, I look up to you so much, like. Just look at me. And don't, don't look up.

• 47:46Connor Wood?

  Hit me at eye level.

• 47:47Brooke Averick?

  Just, just look at me right, right at eye level. I don't need a reminder that I'm older than so many people, but thank you, that's so sweet.

• 47:53Connor Wood?

  It's so sweet, just shut the hell up and just get on-

• 47:56Brooke Averick?

  Exactly.

• 47:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 47:57Brooke Averick?

  Exactly, but-

• 47:58Connor Wood?

  Lift yourself up. By your bootstraps.

• 48:01Brooke Averick?

  Dust yourself off.

• 48:03Connor Wood?

  And look me in my eyes. That's something people have been saying to me recently.

• 48:08Brooke Averick?

  Look me in the eyes?

• 48:09Connor Wood?

  No, they have not said, look me in the eyes, they, my least favorite thing to people comment and like, at first I was like, that's funny. I can take it, but I, I've obviously, it's the end of a quarter and for influencers, which you definitely have noticed. You start, companies and brands start working heavily with people and like you start getting some inbounds and it's the end of the year and-

• 48:33Connor Wood?

  So I've been posting a couple ads here and there and people have been commenting, "Oop, rent must be due." And I'm like, "It's the first of the month, of course. It's due for you too."

• 48:42Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 48:43Connor Wood?

  Imagine if I was outside of the ER before I was going in for my x-ray and the radiologist walks up for her shift at the urgent care and I said, "Oh, rent must be due." You know, like, yeah, because I'm at work.

• 48:56Brooke Averick?

  Right, you have to work, yeah.

• 48:58Connor Wood?

  People have to work so they can pay their rent.

• 48:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:00Connor Wood?

  Me outside of a classroom, teacher walking in, "Oh, rent must be due, teacher." Get in.

• 49:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's a really good point. That's a really good point.

• 49:09Connor Wood?

  Oh, it's just such a crazy thing.

• 49:10Brooke Averick?

  You should start responding to those comments.

• 49:12Connor Wood?

  I did. I said, "They said rent must be due," and I said, "Yeah, it's October 30th. It's due in two days. You should probably pay yours too."

• 49:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:21Connor Wood?

  So I've been with my parents so much recently. Have you noticed that?

• 49:24Brooke Averick?

  No, I don't think so.

• 49:25Connor Wood?

  And then I did my shows in Atlanta and then I went straight to Boston.

• 49:29Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay.

• 49:30Connor Wood?

  And my dad can't get off Instagram reels.

• 49:33Brooke Averick?

  Why? Why should he be expected to?

• 49:35Connor Wood?

  No, it's fine.

• 49:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's his right.

• 49:36Connor Wood?

  But he will be laughing in the other room. I'm like, "What's going on?" And it's like fully

• 49:42Connor Wood?

  like an AI-generated video, which is... Somebody, he came into the room and I want to ask you another question about this room. Do you have a room in your house? Hang on. I'm sitting in the room in our house that is not a usable room. It's like a fake room. I don't know how to explain it. And then he gets in and he goes, "Oh, my gosh, Connor. Wow. Look at this."

• 50:03Brooke Averick?

  What do you mean it's a fake room?

• 50:05Connor Wood?

  I'll tell you in a second. He goes, "Oh, my gosh, Connor. Wow. Like, look at this."

• 50:11Connor Wood?

  Puppy the size of three large men and they're holding it with chains. I go, "What's your... Are you in awe of this?" And he's like, "I don't even know." I could tell he was like, "Look, they're making new dogs." Like, I could tell he was thinking that.

• 50:27Brooke Averick?

  But didn't want to say it outright.

• 50:30Connor Wood?

  Fully was like, "Wait, I need to know if you're being..."

• 50:32Brooke Averick?

  He was testing the waters.

• 50:34Connor Wood?

  I think he was being like...

• 50:35Brooke Averick?

  He's dipping his toe in.

• 50:36Connor Wood?

  "Is this real?" Cutest, but like, it was literally Clifford the big red dog.

• 50:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 50:41Connor Wood?

  I was like, "Do you think this is real?" He's like, oh, I mean, I don't know. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. It is a giant. I have a, I'll put, I'll put the visual and you have to see this absolutely massive puppy. That they're holding, they're holding down with, with chains that they would hold an elephant with.

• 51:00Brooke Averick?

  It's getting really hard to differentiate what's real and what's not.

• 51:04Connor Wood?

  It really, really is. Cause it's, it's going back to that, like I'm scared my parents are gonna get scanned by that Jennifer Aniston. Hi, I'm Jennifer Aniston from the show Friend and I'm giving away a thousand MacBook Pro.

• 51:16Brooke Averick?

  I miss her.

• 51:17Connor Wood?

  Me too.

• 51:18Brooke Averick?

  She's one of my favorites.

• 51:20Connor Wood?

  It's also getting scary. Me and Izzy were talking today when we were coming in about like all of these class actions, like the Jewel class action lawsuit. How everyone's like, wow, anytime these pop up, coming up in the future, like I am going to sign up for every single one. And now Izzy's getting ads for like these fake class action lawsuits where you type in all your information. And like, they're gonna get my ass for sure. Cause I'm gonna try to get in.

• 51:44Brooke Averick?

  I bet there's gonna be a huge Ozempic one in a few years.

• 51:48Connor Wood?

  I like, don't wanna say that, cause it's in the space, but it's scary. Any drug that is new. I also have been getting from all sides of the political spectrum, texts from people being like, help me, donate five dollars to my campaign. And I'm like, who are you? I don't even know, I've never seen your name. What happened that, I got six spam calls, I think political spam calls today. Is that gonna stop when the election happens or no? It'll stop? Or are they gonna be like, hey, it's me, Kamala Harris, I'm having breakfast. What are you doing? Can I have a dollar?

• 52:24Brooke Averick?

  I don't get it because I made it out completely unscathed, like didn't get one spam caller text. And then I voted like three days ago and ever since I voted, I've been being swarmed with texts. So I'm like, how does, what? How did this just start once I already voted?

• 52:42Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 52:43Brooke Averick?

  The second I voted, I started getting.

• 52:44Connor Wood?

  I heard there was something with like a new bill that was passed that like reallowed everybody's numbers to be put back into the calling system. So you do have to actually go into do not call list.com or something and like plug in your information. Obviously very easy thing to do, obviously something I can't get myself to do.

• 52:58Brooke Averick?

  Goes without saying.

• 52:59Connor Wood?

  I do kind of like the attention. Like when my phone's, sorry, I'm getting a call and it absolutely says spam risk, I'm gonna go, I'll take it later.

• 53:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I don't really love it.

• 53:09Connor Wood?

  I do, like, my phone would kind of be dry if I didn't get those calls all day.

• 53:13Brooke Averick?

  Oh, mine's bone dry.

• 53:14Connor Wood?

  Bone dry?

• 53:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but I'd almost rather be bone dry than all those.

• 53:18Connor Wood?

  All the fake outs?

• 53:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:20Connor Wood?

  Well, mine is, my notifications I get all day from start to finish, sexual offender, two blocks, lives two blocks away from you. And I get like eight of those a day. And then, there's someone at your ring, there's someone at your ring, there's someone at your ring, there's someone at your ring. And it's obviously like my neighbors walking by. So I need to figure out how to turn that down and then like, hey, please vote for me.

• 53:42Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 53:44Connor Wood?

  I keep getting, I also, because I

• 53:48Connor Wood?

  travel so much, like, I'm now signed up for like, um, Alpharetta, Georgia Reddit. Hey, what's this, what's this new stop sign? I'm like, and because it's like picking up on my geography, so.

• 54:01Connor Wood?

  What do you want to talk about?

• 54:02Brooke Averick?

  I want to talk about Martha Stewart.

• 54:04Connor Wood?

  I watched it last night!

• 54:05Brooke Averick?

  I didn't watch anything. But I just want to talk about, did you see what she said about Ryan Reynolds?

• 54:10Connor Wood?

  What she said?

• 54:11Brooke Averick?

  She was like, um, I know him in real life and like, he's not funny, like, he's just serious.

• 54:17Connor Wood?

  When did she say that?

• 54:17Brooke Averick?

  Like, recently. They're neighbors or something and she was like, yeah, like, everyone thinks he's funny, he's a very serious guy, he's not funny at all.

• 54:25Connor Wood?

  Does she like him?

• 54:25Brooke Averick?

  It would appear no. But then he responded to her. This is on Twitter. He responded to her and I don't understand his response at all. Everyone's like, Ryan Reynolds claps back and I'm like, I don't get what he's saying.

• 54:40Brooke Averick?

  He's saying, well, Martha said, he's not so, sorry, is he, can you make it a little bigger?

• 54:46Brooke Averick?

  He's not so funny in real life, no, he's not so funny, he's very serious, he's a good actor, he can act funny, but he isn't funny.

• 54:53Connor Wood?

  I love that.

• 54:54Brooke Averick?

  And then Ryan Reynolds says, I disagree with her, but I tried that once, the woman is unexpectedly spry, she really closed the gap after a mile or so.

• 55:01Connor Wood?

  Doing-

• 55:01Brooke Averick?

  So is she, is he saying she chased him?

• 55:03Connor Wood?

  No, yeah, he's saying, I disagree with her, but I tried that once.

• 55:07Brooke Averick?

  And then she chased him?

• 55:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:09Brooke Averick?

  That's not funny.

• 55:11Connor Wood?

  I actually like, feel like I learn a lot from Ryan Reynolds because it's like, okay, not everything needs to be like a little bit, you know? Every single, and I used to think it was so funny, like, for their birthday, him and Blake Lively for their birthday, it's like, happy birthday to this, this one. And then it's like only pictures of him. And I was like, that's funny. But, it's funny once.

• 55:31Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 55:32Connor Wood?

  You know? Every year, really, it's like-

• 55:37Connor Wood?

  It's like when people used to post that screenshot of like, "This is the best feature Apple's ever come out with." And it's like when the password auto-populates on a website that you found. Or like when you get texted a code in it. It's like, "Yeah, we've seen that and we agree with you, but like, "I've seen this 18 times and now I hate you."

• 55:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 55:53Connor Wood?

  You know?

• 55:53Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I get it. I get it.

• 55:56Connor Wood?

  And I have felt this-

• 55:57Brooke Averick?

  I mean, I know, he probably, I genuinely think he probably took seven hours to like come up with that.

• 56:03Connor Wood?

  And I bet he's like this.

• 56:07Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 56:07Brooke Averick?

  Send?

• 56:08Connor Wood?

  Oh, do you think he typed it or do you think he has a team of?

• 56:11Brooke Averick?

  No, I think he typed that.

• 56:12Connor Wood?

  He definitely doesn't have-

• 56:13Brooke Averick?

  I think he did this one.

• 56:14Connor Wood?

  Any Gen Z people on his social media team.

• 56:17Brooke Averick?

  I think this was all him, I think. I would love to know what happened to prompt Martha to pop off like that.

• 56:24Connor Wood?

  Did you, so you haven't seen her documentary?

• 56:26Brooke Averick?

  No, tell me about it.

• 56:27Connor Wood?

  You gotta watch that.

• 56:28Brooke Averick?

  Wait, why was she arrested again? Was she embezzling?

• 56:31Connor Wood?

  Insider trading.

• 56:32Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 56:33Connor Wood?

  Which, there's a lot of nuances to insider trading. I wouldn't say that I don't, I would never, ever make the claim that like, "I don't think she insider traded." I think she, I think she didn't. I think a lot of billionaires do. I think that is like, really something that happens and I've always just been like, "Yeah, of course that happens." Politicians, billionaires, all these people, like, they obviously are friends with other people that are like, "I know this information." And they, those people that know that information can just like drop it at dinner. And then the billionaires can be like, "Hey, let's like get rid of the sock, "'cause I really got a vibe from XYZ at supper that this is not gonna be good next week." And that's what she says happened, that she like got this information, like they had never talked.

• 57:13Brooke Averick?

  Is this in the doc?

• 57:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah. So like, watch it and like, see, this is like the first time I've heard it explained. She was only in jail for 150 days.

• 57:23Brooke Averick?

  How long was she supposed to be?

• 57:24Connor Wood?

  Like, that was her sentence.

• 57:26Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 57:27Connor Wood?

  So,

• 57:29Connor Wood?

  obviously that would be horrible. Any amount of time in jail is unimaginable.

• 57:32Brooke Averick?

  Wasn't she in one of those like bougie ones though?

• 57:34Connor Wood?

  They called it something like Cupcake Palace or something. Like, it was like really, but they put her in solitary confinement for a time 'cause she like brushed up against the guard at some point. She was like, "I was scared. They can't provide you with any protection." But then she was also like, "Yeah, and then I brought all my books and I met this woman in the garden and I helped her like make the garden and then I would have little cucumber sandwiches for everyone over to my cell." And I was like- Oh, that sounds like just like a neighborhood, maybe. And it sounds like you were just like hanging out with friends.

• 58:01Brooke Averick?

  Party almost.

• 58:02Connor Wood?

  But I don't totally get it. And it was 150 days. It was almost kind of like going to rehab. But her story is really interesting. I had no idea.

• 58:12Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I didn't. I didn't either. What else is it about?

• 58:15Connor Wood?

  I don't want to give too much away because it was actually really interesting to watch. But I did end the show feeling really bad for Martha Stewart.

• 58:21Brooke Averick?

  Oh, bad for her?

• 58:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 58:23Brooke Averick?

  Are you like a big Martha fan now?

• 58:25Connor Wood?

  I didn't know anything about the woman.

• 58:26Brooke Averick?

  I don't either. I don't know anything about her.

• 58:28Connor Wood?

  It was interesting to me.

• 58:29Brooke Averick?

  I just can't believe she's in her 80s.

• 58:31Connor Wood?

  This, I'm not going to be able to provide any insight. Like the stuff I found interesting is like the, the stuff that the information they gave you and like the details. And I'm not even going to say that part. But it was interesting like how much,

• 58:41Connor Wood?

  how like pivotal a lot of the things that happened to her, like the roast of Justin Bieber, which like I was like, oh yeah, she did that. And like her be, like that was her start of friendship with Snoop Dogg. And Snoop Dogg and her, their friendship brought her back into this like, I said, like remade her like a huge, huge, successful brand again.

• 58:59Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 59:00Connor Wood?

  Isn't that bizarre?

• 59:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 59:02Connor Wood?

  It was, it was really scary to me to see like, basically when she went to jail because her whole brand was based around her name and her. She was the CEO of the company. And it was like a billion dollar company, which I had no idea. When she went to jail, it like, lost all credibility. They're like, she's in jail. Someone else is running this company. It's called Martha Inc., you know?

• 59:19Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 59:20Connor Wood?

  And so she lost a billion, like a literally a billion dollars, which is crazy. And then started doing brand deal after brand deal after brand deal. She was everywhere and it was like decreasing the value of her company more. Cause she's like, and that's, she was like the original influencer.

• 59:35Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 59:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah. She did it partnership with Kmart.

• 59:39Brooke Averick?

  Okay. I'll have to watch.

• 59:41Connor Wood?

  It was really interesting. It made me, it did make me sad. And it honestly, like the end of it is like, I didn't get any closure from this. I can't imagine how she feels. She just seems like really lonely. She makes me.

• 59:50Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I saw her say something that's like, I've never, um, been vulnerable with anyone in my life. And I'm fine with it. Or something along those lines, she said.

• 1:00:01Connor Wood?

  She had like a really bigoted abusive father. So.

• 1:00:04Brooke Averick?

  That's sad.

• 1:00:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:06Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 1:00:06Connor Wood?

  And her husband. Her husbands were all like really unfaithful, like fully just like cheating on her the whole time.

• 1:00:12Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god. I didn't know that about Marth.

• 1:00:15Connor Wood?

  I know, and it's always so sad to like look like when older people look back on their life and they're like, oh, like as being a billionaire too and being like, oh yeah, like it wasn't fulfilling.

• 1:00:25Brooke Averick?

  Do you want to hear something that's a little bit uplifting?

• 1:00:27Connor Wood?

  I was gonna suggest maybe we switch gears.

• 1:00:29Brooke Averick?

  I saw this tweet that was like, I was sitting by my grandmother's bedside as she died. And the last thing she said was, "I had so much fun."

• 1:00:42Brooke Averick?

  Did you just get goosebumps?

• 1:00:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:44Brooke Averick?

  Me too.

• 1:00:45Connor Wood?

  Period, "I had so much fun."

• 1:00:46Brooke Averick?

  "I had so much fun." End scene.

• 1:00:51Brooke Averick?

  End scene.

• 1:00:52Connor Wood?

  You know what's so scary, Brooke?

• 1:00:53Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 1:00:54Connor Wood?

  First of all, well said, like sometimes less is more and that, "I had so much fun," those five words hold so much value and weight for me personally, because I was carving pumpkins last week and I was sitting there and I was like, my dumb stupid pumpkin with this big smile on its face, just having the time of its life, being present in the moment, I was like, oh wow, like that pumpkin just reminded me like the point is to be present and enjoy it and have fun.

• 1:01:16Brooke Averick?

  Right. Like it's not that, nothing's that serious.

• 1:01:19Connor Wood?

  Do you ever think about?

• 1:01:20Brooke Averick?

  Like do you think, live your life so that you will be that woman on your deathbed?

• 1:01:24Connor Wood?

  I had so much fun.

• 1:01:25Brooke Averick?

  And that's what you can say.

• 1:01:26Connor Wood?

  Period.

• 1:01:28Brooke Averick?

  On God. I would literally say on God in response to her.

• 1:01:33Connor Wood?

  I would say checkmate. Wait, no, not to her. I wouldn't say checkmate to her.

• 1:01:37Brooke Averick?

  I would say on God to her.

• 1:01:39Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Connor Wood?

  I always think about the fact that like one of my Instagram posts is gonna be the last Instagram post. Like I hope it's not like me being like,

• 1:01:51Connor Wood?

  "I'm hungry," you know, like,

• 1:01:54Connor Wood?

  "I'm hungry." Craving, craving Thai food, period. Like imagine if those were my last journal entry.

• 1:02:01Brooke Averick?

  Well, you've never posted anything like that before.

• 1:02:04Connor Wood?

  Sometimes I kind of just like,

• 1:02:05Brooke Averick?

  Want to? Like Jake Shane, just like in feet, "I'm starving."

• 1:02:08Connor Wood?

  All the time I want to do that.

• 1:02:10Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 1:02:11Connor Wood?

  But then I take a picture of my face and I'm like, "That ain't right. That doesn't look right. Take a picture of my face. That ain't right." And then I take so many pictures, I'm like, "I hate Instagram." And then I close it out and I'm like, "I shouldn't have done that anyways."

• 1:02:20Brooke Averick?

  Like every time I'm tired or like my stomach hurts, I always want to tell people. But then it's like if I did that, like, that would be the account. That would be it. So you have to hold back.

• 1:02:31Connor Wood?

  I'm tired.

• 1:02:31Brooke Averick?

  People should know.

• 1:02:32Connor Wood?

  "Stomach hurts. I'm tired. Stomach hurts. I'm tired. Stomach hurts. Hungry."

• 1:02:36Brooke Averick?

  People, it's, I, people, I have the right to know.

• 1:02:40Connor Wood?

  I think that's what Instagram stories are for, but also Jake's account is just like really special.

• 1:02:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:46Connor Wood?

  I struggle between like fuck it and like, I want curation, which is so disgusting and I shouldn't have said that.

• 1:02:53Brooke Averick?

  Just try and have fun.

• 1:02:55Connor Wood?

  Brooke, that is such a, I had so much fun, period.

• 1:03:04Connor Wood?

  With my green hands.

• 1:03:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:06Connor Wood?

  Yes, my pussy's green. Um, I do wanna say, uh, daylight savings. We're back here again. The clock's set back. Wait, forward, back. Back an hour.

• 1:03:18Brooke Averick?

  Back an hour. We get an extra hour.

• 1:03:21Connor Wood?

  Yeah, and why? We're back here again. Last night I was like, whoa, I'm having lunch and I guess it's also dinner. And the way my body operates, it's like, this is no wonder like I start to gain weight like a, like an animal going into hibernation when, when this time change happens. Because my body still operates like a cocker spaniel. Like I see the sun go down and I go, oh, dinner. But I'm, I'm up for another five hours, so I have to have dinner too.

• 1:03:52Brooke Averick?

  Completely.

• 1:03:53Connor Wood?

  So it's like now I'm eating two dinners.

• 1:03:57Connor Wood?

  But I'm still operating under the circadian rhythm of like sun's up, breakfast time.

• 1:04:02Connor Wood?

  You know, lunch, lunch too.

• 1:04:04Brooke Averick?

  Maybe you just have to switch it up and go by time.

• 1:04:09Connor Wood?

  Like, I don't wanna.

• 1:04:10Brooke Averick?

  And instead of having dinner one, make that afternoon snack.

• 1:04:13Connor Wood?

  Smaller, smaller scale meal.

• 1:04:16Brooke Averick?

  Or you could truly just do what most, what a lot of people do and just free feed, which is like grazing all day, not necessarily three meals a day.

• 1:04:24Connor Wood?

  Free feed, huh?

• 1:04:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's what Jonathan does.

• 1:04:29Connor Wood?

  Your cat or the man?

• 1:04:30Brooke Averick?

  When he's hungry. My cat. Oh my God, I have to ask you something.

• 1:04:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:34Brooke Averick?

  I'm going to the Wicked premiere.

• 1:04:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I was supposed to go.

• 1:04:36Brooke Averick?

  On Saturday.

• 1:04:38Connor Wood?

  I was supposed to be in the music video.

• 1:04:39Brooke Averick?

  You're supposed to be in the video?

• 1:04:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:41Brooke Averick?

  I'm going to the Wicked premiere on Saturday. I obviously don't think I'm gonna get any, I don't expect any FaceTime with anyone, but if I do get FaceTime with Jonathan Bailey.

• 1:04:52Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:53Brooke Averick?

  Should I tell him I named my cat after him or is that weird?

• 1:04:57Brooke Averick?

  And keep in mind, he's the greatest guy in the world.

• 1:04:59Connor Wood?

  I think like-

• 1:05:00Brooke Averick?

  Great sense of humor, great personality. No one has ever had a bad word to say about-

• 1:05:05Connor Wood?

  Personal decision for you, obviously, but like, if someone came up to you at Disney and said, "Brooke, I named my cat Brooke", like, where would your head go? I think that's a good litmus test.

• 1:05:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:18Connor Wood?

  Is that someone you would want to, like, see more than once, or?

• 1:05:20Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm, that's a goo- it's a good question.

• 1:05:24Brooke Averick?

  I also think it's different because, like, he's so famous, so it, like, makes sense more to have a cat named after him than a cat named after me.

• 1:05:35Connor Wood?

  I don't think so.

• 1:05:36Brooke Averick?

  I do.

• 1:05:37Connor Wood?

  Okay, well-

• 1:05:38Brooke Averick?

  So I should not tell him?

• 1:05:39Connor Wood?

  You have your answer. No, tell him if you want to.

• 1:05:40Brooke Averick?

  What should I say, then? If not, I named my cat after you.

• 1:05:44Connor Wood?

  Um-

• 1:05:44Brooke Averick?

  What else, what else is there to say?

• 1:05:46Connor Wood?

  You should come on my podcast.

• 1:05:48Brooke Averick?

  No, Connor.

• 1:05:51Connor Wood?

  It's worked so far a couple times. Coming up.

• 1:05:56Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 1:05:57Connor Wood?

  Coming up. We have a surprise guest coming up in the next couple of weeks.

• 1:06:02Brooke Averick?

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

• 1:06:02Connor Wood?

  Like, a really awesome one.

• 1:06:04Brooke Averick?

  Yes, I thought you were doing a bit, and then I remembered that it's true. It is true, and-

• 1:06:08Connor Wood?

  Potentially more than one, too. Because of the the developments over Halloween night, which shouldn't have happened while I was on my, like, third spiked apple cider.

• 1:06:17Brooke Averick?

  What happened?

• 1:06:18Connor Wood?

  I told- I sent you a screenshot.

• 1:06:20Brooke Averick?

  No, you didn't.

• 1:06:20Connor Wood?

  Of someone- an individual who got back to me.

• 1:06:24Brooke Averick?

  Oh, no, I don't- Yeah, okay, so.

• 1:06:29Connor Wood?

  Obviously, it's not gonna happen right now, but that will be interesting.

• 1:06:33Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, watch the space, Sam.

• 1:06:36Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, I think we leave you. It's such a weird, kind of anticlimactic, ending to this show today. Um, I feel like maybe there's more to be said in the bonus.

• 1:06:50Brooke Averick?

  We could always do that.

• 1:06:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah. But thank you guys so much for listening. It's so nice to be here with prosthetics on my nose and my chin. I feel like I'm at home.

• 1:06:57Brooke Averick?

  And this is my first time ever getting glam and wearing fake lashes.

• 1:07:01Connor Wood?

  Your lashes look great. I actually, every time you've blinked, I've felt a breeze.

• 1:07:04Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 1:07:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:06Brooke Averick?

  A little flutter?

• 1:07:07Connor Wood?

  A little flutter. It feels like hummingbirds are on- in my- in my hole.

• 1:07:10Brooke Averick?

  Wow. Mm-mm.

• 1:07:12Connor Wood?

  You brought "hole" into this.

• 1:07:13Brooke Averick?

  It was safe when I did it. That was an intentional hole usage.

• 1:07:18Connor Wood?

  I think you need to maybe take a page out of my book and be more intentional with your holes.

• 1:07:25Brooke Averick?

  We'll see you in the bonus.

• 1:07:28Connor Wood?

  Peace out. Ooh.

• 1:07:33Brooke Averick?

  This week on Close Friends.

• 1:07:35Connor Wood?

  The aim is to achieve orgasm. So you do like, come.

• 1:07:39Brooke Averick?

  The close-off practice. If you could go back to one moment in your life to relive, would it be the bagel?

• 1:07:44Connor Wood?

  It would be the bagel 10 minutes ago. My pussy is green. What? You can swindle a pussy.

• 1:07:50Brooke Averick?

  I think I'm gonna start. I could see you with a globe.

• 1:07:53Connor Wood?

  Wait, I love math.

• 1:07:54Brooke Averick?

  Luckily I have ring. Ooh.

• 1:07:57Connor Wood?

  Sign up on TMGstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  I don't know what I'm doing. Need a break. Forget it, I quit. Escape to Pluto TV.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  This is objectively fantastic.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  Relax into the movies and shows you already know and love, all for free. Shwing. Even our news is uplifting. You stay classy, San Diego. Watch Tommy Boy, Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, The X-Files, Wayne's World, and so much more. We're not worthy. The best things on TV really are free.

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  You just have to know where to look.

• 1:08:33Speaker 01

  Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 1:08:38Speaker 04

  Glimmer, the new eau de parfum by Estee Lauder. An amber floral fragrance with a gourmand twist, with notes of macaron rose accord, amber embrace accord, and shimmering patchouli. A glimmer is a small, unexpected moment of joy that shifts your energy and how you feel. A scent to be felt, remembered, and shared. Discover more at EsteeLauder.com. What makes you glimmer?

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  Para los grandes, para los chicos, para los bajos y los altos, los pacifistas, los valientes. Para los optimistas y los pesimistas, los que valoran lo de adentro. Para los que están lejos, los que no ven de lejos, y los que no ven de cerca. Para los introvertidos y los extrovertidos. Para los que piensan y los que hacen. Para los que nos mostraron el camino. Coca-Cola. Para todos.

• 1:09:33Connor Wood?

  Compra una Coca-Cola en una tienda cerca de usted.