Gabrielle Bernstein: ON How To Manifest What You Need In Life & What Blocks It

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon. On this episode of On Purpose, I sat down with Gabrielle Bernstein. Gabby is a speaker and #1 New York Times bestselling author. She shares her essential methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams in her Latest book: Super Attractor. By doing less we attract more. Gabby helps us unpack behaviors that are blocking us from receiving our desires & teaches us to see difficult moments as opportunities that are revealing to you what you still need to heal. Text Jay Shetty 310-997-4177 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:43Jay Shetty?

  Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop.

• 1:26Jay Shetty?

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• 2:01Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised to yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 2:45Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  My phone just turned on. It was an album that I'd never heard. I'd never heard this song before. It wasn't in my Spotify and it just began playing. Now get this, April rolls around and I'm pregnant. But then I did the math and I was like, when did I conceive? I conceived the last day of March.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  So that synchronicity, you know, you hear March, you find your signs, you feel super guided. That synchronicity is available to all of us, but it's what it had. We have to get out of that pusher mentality and out of that controlling behavior to allow the presence of spirit to work through us and guide us.

• 3:51Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every single week to listen, learn and grow. Thank you so much for giving me time out of your day, trusting me, trusting us and our incredible community here to help you in your search for greatness, for growth. For purpose, for passion, whatever it is that you're seeking. And I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it already, make sure you go to eightrulesoflove.com.

• 4:34Jay Shetty?

  It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, Love Rules. Go to jayshettytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more. I can't wait to see you this year. And today's guest is Gabby Bernstein. Now Gabby has, actually was one of the first people that I ever interviewed when I was at the Huffington Post. And if you go back and watch those interviews, they're still on YouTube. You'll notice that we hit it off like this. We connected immediately. We then ended up doing like two, three interviews straight away where we're having these amazing conversations.

• 5:20Jay Shetty?

  And we found so many different ways to collaborate over the last few years. But I am so excited for this particular interview. Because I know this is a subject that's really on your mind. It's something that you've really been thinking about. So today Gabby's with us to talk to us about her new book, Super Attractor. There it is, Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams. We are going to put the link into the comments section as well. So you can go and purchase the book if you enjoy this conversation, which I know you will. Moving over to the audio interview, introduction. So Gabby is a New York Times bestselling author, The Universe Has Your Back, and has written five additional bestsellers. She was featured on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday as a next generation thought leader, and the New York Times named her a new role model.

• 6:04Jay Shetty?

  She appears regularly as an expert on the Dr. Oz Show and co-hosted the Guinness World Record Largest Guided Meditation with Deepak Chopra. In her new book, Super Attractor, Gabby reveals how to manifest the life you desire. Gabby, thank you for being here.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  You nailed it when you said that we were magic when we first met. It was like, I remember walking out of that interview and saying to my publicist, he's a superstar, I love him, I want to be his friend, was the first thing I said. And then I said, I want to do more with him. It was just the beginning.

• 6:35Jay Shetty?

  And I remember a few months after that, I called you up and I was just like, Gabby, can you be my mentor?

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Well, you were my mentor.

• 6:41Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, no. And I meant that. And it was just like, it was so real because I was just like, I'd, I'd just started interviewing at that time. And when you're interviewing a lot and you don't, you're still, I was so new when I first met you in this, at least in this offline, external world. And it was a very good time for me to really observe who deeply connected. And you deeply connected, Deepak deeply connected. Like, there's certain people from that time. So I look back and I look at you here today and I was just like, you're my friend. I really appreciate you. I've learned so much from you. You've always been just a call away. And I'm so excited for people to learn from you again with another amazing book. So in this book, you talk about something that I think, what I was just sharing with you earlier.

• 7:24Jay Shetty?

  I think this is a subject that so many people are speaking about very superficially. It's very sub-level. I read a lot of articles on manifesting. I don't read many deep books on manifesting. And I hear a lot of the same stuff everywhere. So when I looked at this, I was like, oh, here we go. Like, now we're gonna get really deep. So tell me, let's, let's start right off the bat. Tell me, where are we going wrong with manifesting? Like, what are the biggest mistakes, the myths, the things that are not really the right places to start?

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Well, first of all, I think that the reason that you're feeling that way about this book is because it's actually not a book about manifesting. It's a book about feeling good. And the key to manifesting and the key to being a super attractor is to be aligned with feeling good. And that doesn't mean that we feel good all the time, but our deepest desire isn't to get that thing to feel good enough and feel good. It's to feel good so that we can allow whatever we need and whatever's of the highest good to come into our life. And that's where I think some of the wobbliness maybe shows up when it comes to manifesting is this idea that I can think it and it will be. And that's true. You know, you can, you can think and think and think to the point of belief and then that can actually come into form. But more importantly, we need to really make it our commitment and our devotion to feel good.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  And that may mean looking at some of our shadows. That may mean having the willingness to change our mind all throughout the day. And that may mean being more committed to our wellbeing and our personal growth than we ever had before. But in the pursuit of feeling good, having a good life and being a super attractor.

• 8:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, amazing. So it actually starts with us. And what I'm hearing you say is just that. We know that it's not about getting that thing.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:06Jay Shetty?

  But the challenge is that somehow in that pursuit, it always becomes about that, even if that thing is something elusive, like a title or a status or, you know, being on a list or whatever it may be, like it ends up being that way. How did you, you said something really interesting to me when you walked in. You and I was congratulating you because the book's already a New York Times bestseller. Right. The book's been number one on the list, which is unbelievable.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Oh, it's been like three, five, six, three weeks in a row.

• 9:34Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Oh, number one on Amazon.

• 9:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, number one on Amazon. Right, right, right. So it's been, so it's got all that. But and I said that to you and I congratulated you and I showed you a picture that you posted. I was like, this is amazing. And you said something really interesting to me.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:44Jay Shetty?

  Say what you said.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  I very much said that the reason that it's number, it's on these lists is because I don't give a shit. Like I stopped caring. All I cared about with this book, this is my seventh book. And all I cared about with this book, because in many of my other books, I really cared about lists and things like that. But with this book, and that didn't mean that there wasn't major service behind them and the primary intention being to serve. Because if that wasn't the case, they wouldn't have had success. But my agenda was different at times and, you know, it's more in the, the, the marketing of it. And this time around, I was like, I'm going to show up and do my part, but I'm just going to have fun. I'm going to feel good. I'm going to relax and I'm not going to think about it. You know, the day that my publishers called me and said the book is on the list, I didn't even realize it was Wednesday, which is the day. I could have cared less. I wasn't thinking about it at all. I didn't even recognize the day it was. And that's been happening every week, every Wednesday.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  I keep getting these text messages, oh, it's number five, it's number six. And I'm like, oh yeah, it's Wednesday. Oh, okay, cool, you know? And I'm celebrating it, but I'm celebrating it mainly from the perspective like, like today, these, these, you know, this acknowledgement of the, these lists and things really just represent that it's helping people.

• 10:48Jay Shetty?

  Yes, exactly.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 10:50Jay Shetty?

  Which I think is, which I think is such an important thing to celebrate.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 10:53Jay Shetty?

  Because we're celebrating the fact that a book about being a super attractor.

• 10:59Jay Shetty?

  Is growing as opposed to a book about something negative or something toxic.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  There is that, definitely. And I also am seeing, like, I wrote this book because I wanted to feel good. And so I'm seeing that I knew that if it made me feel good, which it did in multiple cases, where even returned to it on my own to read it, I knew that if it was making me feel good, that it was definitely going to make the reader feel good. And that's, that's, today I was at lunch and a woman, you know, grabbed me and was like, look, I just have the audio book right now and I'm listening to you right now. And I was like, awesome. And she said, it's making me feel so good. I said, well, then I've done my job.

• 11:31Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm. I love that. That's awesome. Now, you've, you've talked a lot about how, you know, we're living at a time when there's a lot of competition, there's a lot of comparing, there's a lot of, you know, me versus this, or competitors and peers and all that kind of stuff. And but in this, you know, and a lot of that makes us feel like, what I'm hearing you say, you're like, oh, I'm having fun, like I'm enjoying it. But a lot of us turn to being strict with ourselves. Whereas you take an approach of saying, let's be compassionate with ourselves. Tell me about that almost paradox, because we almost feel like, okay, well, if I'm competing, I need to get more organized and more strict and more, whereas you're actually saying, no, be more compassionate.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. One of the biggest blocks to being a super attractor is the comparison and the belief that there's not enough to go around. And I actually wrote a whole chapter in the book called, There's More Than Enough to Go Around.

• 12:19Jay Shetty?

  Love that, yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  And it's for that person that's like the pusher, that I identified in the book, the person that's like, if I don't do it, it won't happen. And everybody around me is better than me, or I'm not, or I'm better than everybody else. And that separation and that judgment, that self attack, and all the ways that we feel unworthy. And so when we start to identify the ways that we're pushing and controlling, we can begin to unpack that. And I guide the reader in the book to unpack that behavior and to recognize how much it's blocking someone from, from allowing and letting what they desire to come into their life. Because the real secret is to feel good. The secret is to love where you are in the moment and not compare yourself to where you think you should be. Because once you

• 13:00Speaker 01

  start just being psyched about what is, more of what you desire comes to you. And I can stand behind that wholeheartedly, wholeheartedly.

• 13:09Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about one event in your life where you feel you've really felt, and I know there's probably loads, but I just.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  There's loads. Um, you know, just, even in the book, I write a lot about a lot of it, but like, you know, big things that have occurred in my life. You know, being called by the producers of Oprah and saying, you know, we want her to be on the show. That, that happened. And when I called, I said, oh, I've been waiting for this call for 10 years. Thank you. I didn't say, oh, my God, it finally happened. You know what I mean? It was like, I just was in a sense of knowing. And even when, when I got to the place where I started to apply these principles, I tried to conceive for three years. And you know, I've talked very openly about that. By the time I really did the work on that struggle and that push and that control, I was at such ease and had faith that I knew my baby was on the way. And I started to receive a lot of signs, a lot of synchronicity. There's a story in the book I could share with you. Yeah, please. Yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  So this is just an example of what it starts to feel like when you're in your super attractor energy, and you're in a place of allowing and synchronicity and guidance and allowing whatever your higher power means to you, whatever, whether it's God or spirit or inspiration or higher self, I don't care what you call it, but tuning in, tapping in. And someone's like, I don't believe in any spiritual stuff. Just, you know, they probably do because they're watching you. But if they don't, they could, you know, go to the place of saying, my voice of inspiration, intuition.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  So I'm in this three year journey of trying to conceive. And really, for a year and a half, almost two years, I was like, in the low of it, really feeling like, okay, I'm not good enough. My body isn't working. How can I make this happen? How can I make this happen? Right? And really pushing and controlling and trying to eat things and track my ovulation and all that crap. And then about the fall of 2017, I started to get into more of a surrendered state. And I started practicing the methods that I teach in the book of just really trusting that there was a higher guidance that I'd believed in for my whole life and relying on that. And that's when things started to get really wild and synchronistic. And so around the fall of 2017, I was driving in the

• 15:11Speaker 01

  countryside where I live most of the time. And this is where I do the majority of my manifesting is just driving in the car, looking at the foliage, listening to my mantra music. And I feel so awesome when I'm in that position. And I'm just so grateful in the moment. And I'm driving and I'm driving. And I'm like, I feel so awesome and so grateful that I live in this country town and have all these friends and I don't have any cell service right now. And I'm so psyched about that. And no one's bothering me and I feel good. And then all of a sudden, I felt the presence of a baby in the backseat. And I was like, wow, like deeply moved. Tears started to roll down my face. I felt so moved. And at that point, I heard my intuition say to me, The baby's coming in March. And I was like, and it was so loud, like, you know, when you hear the voice of your inspiration, you're like, that's it. Okay, I believe.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  And so I started saying to myself over and over, like, oh, my God, March, you know, I have to conceive it this time for the baby to come in March. I saw myself getting a little into it, like, too into it and hooked into it. So I said, okay, listen, you know what, universe, I'm going to give this over. And if my baby is indeed coming in March, show me a sign. Show me lilies to let me know that the baby's coming in March. And a week later, I got a letter in the mail from a reader, and it had this angel card in it. And on the back of it was this picture of Archangel Gabriel. And Archangel Gabriel is typically depicted holding lilies. So I was like, yo, this is dope. And on the back, he wrote, I thought that you needed this. And I was like, thank you. Good. So here I am, March, March is coming, March is happening.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  And early March rolled around and I wasn't pregnant. So I was like, what the hell? And not only was I devastated, once again, another month has gone by, I'm not pregnant. But this time I was like, I thought the universe had my back. Like, I was getting signs, like, what's up? So I walked into my husband's office and I was just hysterically crying, so upset, so defeated. And my phone was like on the desk, like, right here. And all of a sudden, my phone started playing a song. And the song was just repeating, repeating. It's like, go, like, you know, when your phone malfunctions, you're like, I'm just going to turn that off. I was like, okay, I'm just going to turn that off. And then I look at the phone and I start listening to the lyrics. And the lyrics are, way go lily, way go lily. And the guy keeps repeating, way go lily.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  And then I look even further and I look at the name of the song as way go lily. And he just keeps repeating lily. And I look even further and the album title is I See The Sign.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  And where was this playing? What area of your phone? This was just- My phone just turned on. Oh, wow. No, that's, you know, it's spirit working through the technology. And so my phone just turned on. It was an album that I'd never heard. I'd never heard the song before. It wasn't in my Spotify and it just began playing. Now, get this. So I get, April rolls around and I'm pregnant. But then I did the math and I was like, when did I conceive? I conceived the last day of March.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  So that synchronicity, you know, you hear March, you find your signs, you feel super guided, that synchronicity is available to all of us, but it's what it had, we have to get out of that pusher mentality and out of that controlling behavior to allow the presence of spirit to work through us and guide us and or the universe, or whatever you, whatever you call it, to be the presence of, of, of direction, inspiration, to be that guy.

• 18:30Jay Shetty?

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• 19:05Jay Shetty?

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• 19:47Jay Shetty?

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• 20:22Jay Shetty?

  That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. And what fascinates me about stories like that is that I can, you know, hearing you tell it and you're looking at the signs and you're also at times, like I love the honesty and the openness, like you're like, actually, you know, I walked into my husband's office defeated.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:00Jay Shetty?

  There was a day when it didn't feel like it was going right and then I doubted it. So I love hearing that because I think that just shows that we're all human and we have those moments. But what I'm intrigued by is when someone doesn't feel that that voice is loud for them.

• 21:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:15Jay Shetty?

  Of intuition, of inspiration, of God, of the universe. And I know you've talked about this in other books, but I feel like so many people listening right now, they're like, yeah, Gabby, you can hear that, but I can't.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:24Jay Shetty?

  Like, what does that person do? What do they need to do to hear better?

• 21:28Speaker 01

  They don't want to sound cliche, but read the book. I mean, the book, I mean, that's not my answer. I'm going to give you a better answer than that. But this book is about, is for that person that's saying, I'm blocking my inspiration. You know, I went on my Instagram and I was like, how many of you? I did a poll and I said, how many of you are blocking your manifesting? And 96% said yes.

• 21:45Jay Shetty?

  Whoa.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. And there's, and I call it out, I call out the ways that we block. And I, and this whole book is methods for unblocking. And the thing is, is that, you know, the thing that's most important is to trust that if you're watching this right now, that you are in fact being guided. So even if you don't feel that guidance, you can't hear that inspiration, there's no way that you would have listened to this specific podcast in this specific moment if you were not indeed being guided. Okay? So just take that in fully and completely. And then your next step is to recognize the guidance and then follow the guidance you receive, whether it's read this book or not, this book, maybe another book. Maybe after this podcast, you're led to another author on your podcast. And then that's the book that you need, or that's the therapist that you need to find. It doesn't have to be me, but, but, but stay open.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  And when, when you have an intuition to listen to a podcast or it's when you're feeling free and you make a decision to do something, it's when you're in a place of, of, of, you know, no agenda. Just a place of joy, inspiration, relaxation, and you start to listen to something or guidance. That's when you're really listening. That's when you're really receiving guidance. So I think anyone that's listening to you is listening, but they just may not realize it.

• 22:55Jay Shetty?

  Right. Yeah, and I think the biggest challenge, when I'm hearing what you're saying, the biggest challenge people have is we think of, like what you're saying, it's like we always look at things as black and white.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:05Jay Shetty?

  Like you either hustle or actually I'm just gonna sit here and wait for it to happen.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:09Jay Shetty?

  And you're not really talking about sitting here waiting for that.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  In this book, there's a chapter called spiritually aligned action. And this is a method that I've been practicing throughout my entire career, and it's been the key to my successes and my happiness and my joy and everything. And then the times when I haven't been applying it, you know, things didn't work out.

• 23:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  So it's spiritually aligned action. And the first step is to recognize, what is my desire and how is it backed with joy, love, and service?

• 23:36Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Okay? And so, you know, the reason we're sitting here right now is because everything you've been doing for a very short period of time has been backed with love and service and joy. And it's taken off because you're into it. You're having fun, right? You're having fun. Joy is the catalyst. The second step. Now, somebody might be thinking like, I wanna lose weight. How is that backed with service? I don't get that. And I would say to that person, well, when you lose that weight, you feel better. You have more energy to give to your children. You are clearer. You no longer have brain fog. Your gut feels better. You can, you know, bring more energy to your life, to your work. That's service to the world, big time. So there's no... But it's checking your desires and making sure it's, I don't want that so that I can feel happy. I want that so I can bring more light to the world.

• 24:18Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Okay? That's the step. And the second step of the spiritually aligned action method is to believe. All right? So to believe that you're worthy of it, to believe that the universe is guiding you, to have some kind of faith that you can let go and allow. Okay? That faith has to be backing this. And then the third step is to take action from that place. Take a spiritually aligned action from the place of love, service, and faith. That's where you take action. So if you're gonna pick up the phone and make a cold call about a new job, don't do it from your place of like panicked fear and anxiety. Do the work to get into a place of recognizing the service behind it and really feeling into the faith that good things can come to you.

• 24:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  And then the final step is to be patient. Not, people don't like that stuff. But patience comes when you strengthen your faith.

• 25:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  So the point is, is that this isn't a method on, this isn't a book on just sitting on your ass and meditating and thinking things are going to come to you. This is a book on getting aligned and then taking action from that place of alignment. And so you might, you might agree with me on this, like I can, in one hour, I can do more than the average person can do in a day or two days.

• 25:26Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Okay. And that's because I do things from inspiration.

• 25:30Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  And so when you're inspired, you're in spirit and you are expanding time, you're given more energy and you just can get, you know, everything's download fast.

• 25:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, 100%.

• 25:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

• 25:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, no, I 100% agree. I definitely think that we can stretch time.

• 25:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:45Jay Shetty?

  Definitely can stretch time and, and I love that description. That step, that method's great, by the way.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:50Jay Shetty?

  As in it's spot on.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  Cause it's like, you know, people that are watching you, they, they want to take action. They want to feel proactive in their life. But I think most people are taking action from a place of stress, fear, uncertainty, pushing, controlling. If I don't make it happen, it's not going to happen. That belief system is blocking your super attractor power.

• 26:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. And I, I actually experienced that last year. I was sharing and making a lot of videos and I started committing more to creating more amazing content that I loved and enjoyed. And we made some amazing videos last year. And the number one thing I used to hear from everyone else, and this wasn't the voice in my head, this was the voice of the noise of outside was Jay, when are you going to get like media, like when, when is like someone, you know, when is media going to take notice of you, like when is this going to be? And it was so interesting because that last point you made of it was patience.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:39Jay Shetty?

  That had to be practiced.

• 26:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:41Jay Shetty?

  And for me, it was not like, oh my God, that's going to, and I was like, that's interesting because people are saying that that's when they'll accept that this is successful.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 26:51Jay Shetty?

  And I had to make a choice.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:53Jay Shetty?

  Whether I was going to let that definition define that I felt successful now, or do I feel successful now because I'm doing what I love every day and I really enjoy it and it's helping people.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  Beautiful.

• 27:02Jay Shetty?

  And, and I think that that was such a distinct thing for me because, and then when I let go of that and had that patience, then this year, a lot of that came.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  Then you're on Ellen, you know?

• 27:10Jay Shetty?

  Correct. And a lot of that came totally organically. None of it was maneuvered.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Cause you didn't care, you weren't trying, you were having fun.

• 27:16Jay Shetty?

  Exactly.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  You are a prime example of what it means to be a super attractor. You're in joy, you're having fun, you're not attached to the outcome. That's how your entire career began. I'm not attached to the outcome. And I'm just going to do something in service and love and inspiration. And it's going to become this thing. And that's how I've built my career too.

• 27:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And what about when, so I love what you, you gave a great example there of how people are scared to, you know, like you don't want people to pick up the phone call in that fear. You want them to do it in that joy and service. How do people make that switch from fear to joy and service? If someone's honest with themselves and they say, Gabby, right now, I'm just scared. Like, I'm just living in.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  I would tell someone, like, sometimes you just have to pick up the phone and ask for the job because this is the window you have. So I would, you know, say meditate before and say prayers before and turn it over and.

• 28:00Jay Shetty?

  Prepare.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Prepare energetically to the best of your ability. And then also think about, this is a big one, like, think about how that desire is backed with service and love. Because as soon as you get into that energy, you feel good. And it's no longer about what you think you need. It's about bringing something greater to the world. And so when I would want something big in my life, whether it was a media placement or a baby or anything, I was always, if I felt like I was strangling the desire, I would always return to why this was going to bring light to the world. And that, I mean, that's where, and that's where the moment you go there, you feel better.

• 28:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  And that's the action that you want to take place from that place of action.

• 28:39Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent. I'm, I'm so happy that you're saying this right now because I couldn't agree more.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:43Jay Shetty?

  That's the only thing that keeps me going.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:45Jay Shetty?

  Makes you wake up in the morning.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:47Jay Shetty?

  I say to people all the time, like, I believe there are, there are service driven creators, entrepreneurs, business people, whatever, the list goes on. And then there are lifestyle, business people, entrepreneurs, et cetera. Lifestyle people are the ones that do it because they want to live on a beach and have a comfy life. And then the service ones are the ones who are just going to keep doing it. I mean, you're on your seventh book right now.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  I'll be writing books the rest of my life.

• 29:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, exactly. And if that isn't service.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  And I'm writing a new one right now.

• 29:11Jay Shetty?

  No, don't, I mean, let's, let's focus on this one.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  I'd say we got to focus on this one, but I do have a contract.

• 29:18Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I didn't realize you were, okay, fine.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  I'm working on, I'm working on an audible original.

• 29:22Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And it's called.

• 29:24Jay Shetty?

  Fiction or nonfiction?

• 29:25Speaker 01

  Um, of course it's nonfiction.

• 29:26Jay Shetty?

  Okay, I'm just.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  But yeah, no, it's, yeah, it's sort of an audio experience.

• 29:30Jay Shetty?

  Sure.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  But it is nonfiction, self-help, yeah.

• 29:32Jay Shetty?

  Oh, cool. I'm excited for that. So it's totally, it's only audible?

• 29:36Speaker 01

  Starting off was only audible and then I can in a year from then turn it into a book if I want to, but.

• 29:40Jay Shetty?

  That sounds fun.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:41Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 29:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:42Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome.

• 29:45Jay Shetty?

  Tell me about, you've said that you're no longer in that hustle mode, but you have been before.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I was.

• 29:51Jay Shetty?

  So, yeah, so interesting.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  I'm newly not there.

• 29:53Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:54Jay Shetty?

  So was that, were you still being a super attractor then?

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Yes and no.

• 29:59Jay Shetty?

  Or was that blocking your...

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Yes and no. Like, it was murky, right? Because I was attracting a lot, but I was probably really limiting my capacity. And so it's like, you know, we often, you know, don't realize that like we are, we are functioning at a fraction of what we're capable of. And so I definitely was. Like, even though I was hustling and I was having fun and I was in service and I was enjoying, things were happening, you know, books were coming out, they were, they were, you know, helping people, saving lives, right? But I, but I was definitely blocking the full capacity of what I could be creating and giving, because I was, I was hustling, I was a work addict, you know, for many big reasons, right? You know, I've talked very publicly about, you know, didn't realize that I had had trauma until I remembered it in 2016.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  It was when I remembered my trauma that I started to truly heal my addictive patterns. You know, it was like I got sober 14 years ago and then...

• 30:51Jay Shetty?

  That's amazing, by the way.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Thank you. And then I, you know, and then I, and then I became a work addict. And I always felt like, oh, my work is in the pursuit of something so magical and so great and such great service that it's okay to be a work addict. Hell, no. Hell, no, it took me down. But then I remembered my trauma. And then in the recovery from really healing my trauma past and really working really through it and becoming more and more free and more free today than I've ever been, in that journey, I started to see that, that the, that the pushing and the controlling was the, the, and the opposite of who I believed I wanted to be. And so at that point, I, I really just started to accept that I didn't have, I could have a no-stress policy and that I could do less and attract more. I could begin to rely on other people.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  And because, look, you know, I could have been in the same position, right? Having a team, having publishers that were supporting me, all that, and still not letting go. I could have still been fully in control, trying to hold everything, even with those resources. So it doesn't matter like what you have, it's about your mental choice. And so in that choice, I said, you know, I'm gonna focus on my art, I'm gonna focus on my gift, and I'm gonna allow the universe to support me and work through people. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna give it over.

• 32:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  So I'm relaxed.

• 32:06Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Would you say in that, that early phase, the hustle was critical? And would you say for others, it is as well?

• 32:13Speaker 01

  I wouldn't change it.

• 32:14Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  But had I been aware of my trauma, you know, or had I not had trauma behind it, I could have had the hustle without so much pain. There was a lot of pain and suffering in that hustle. But I wasn't able to recognize at the time, because I felt so proud and so excited about what I was doing, I wasn't able to recognize that I was in a tremendous amount of pain.

• 32:37Jay Shetty?

  So, yeah, so, so if someone's listening and they're thinking, well, Gabby, I'm really working hard right now. You'd say, as long as you're dealing with that trauma that's there, or you're reflecting on where it's coming from.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Well, if you're working really hard, and it's because you're trying to prove yourself because you have a wound that you haven't healed, then go heal the wound.

• 32:57Jay Shetty?

  Got it.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  Because everything will follow. If you're working really hard because you think you need to get ahead or whatever, there's probably a wound there. Right? And a belief system that like, if I'm not pushing and controlling, it's not gonna happen. And so, you know, I think that the thing I would tell my younger self is that, you know, trust more and... No, I actually don't think I would tell my younger self anything, because I think everything worked out exactly as it was meant to.

• 33:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I read somewhere recently that a lot of successful people in general, whether spiritual or not, have to have the belief that everything happened at the right time, or everything happens for a reason. And when I read that, I thought, interesting, because so many people see that as a cliche, so many people see it as a throwaway. But when I read that actually, both spiritual and non-spiritual successful people would say that that's how they see things. Because you're now looking at life as life is taking care of me. You're now looking at life is teaching me when I need to. Life is keeping me where I am, where I need to be.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Seeing the difficult moments as opportunities that are revealing to you what you still need to heal. And so when you, when you flip your perspective of the difficult times and choose to see those difficult times as spiritual assignments, to grow, to be, to be closer to your sourced inspiration, love, joy, then it turns, it turns into a miracle. You know, I just, I'm five months into recovery from postpartum depression and anxiety and insomnia, which was Jay, the most, the, I'm gonna say the F word, but the most fucked up experience of my life. And right now, I'm really feeling great. And I'm feeling really proud

• 34:40Speaker 01

  and really grateful that that happened because I can help save women's lives as a result of being able to talk about it with authenticity. I can help be a better voice for mental illness because I've experienced it. I can be a guide for people who need medical support when they really need it. And I wouldn't change a thing.

• 34:57Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. And thank you for sharing that again and talking so openly about it. I think that's ultimately like the underline to any major, because we're talking about Viktor Frankl, obviously, and Man Said for Meaning, talks about it so beautifully of just like how he couldn't make that situation good. But he knew that if he dealt with it in the right way, that that would then teach people in the future.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 35:17Jay Shetty?

  And, and I think that that's such a great, it's always the underline to any pain. Because you're right, that in that moment, you couldn't be just happy in it in all of a sudden. I just burst out into like laughter, but you know that that experience has now given you a whole new group of people to serve and share and support with.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 35:37Jay Shetty?

  And I think all of us who, anyone who's listening right now or watching right now and going through any sort of pain, I genuinely think that's The underlying point, if you can't find any other answer, that probably is it.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:48Jay Shetty?

  That you're you're being sent a particular gift.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:52Jay Shetty?

  That you will then be able to open for other people.

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:54Speaker 02

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• 36:23Speaker 01

  Really hope that the people can take that in. And, you know, I write in the book that the the key to feeling good is to decide to stop feeling bad. And that could be really offensive to certain people out there that are depressed or broke or, you know, ill or, you know, whatever it may be. But I I tell the story of my postpartum as a true, honest, authentic example of how, when I was in the most, the darkest moment of my life, suicidal, suicidal, that I could still decide to feel good in the most subtle ways. So like, allowing myself to accept support was a way of allowing myself to feel good. Right? Or deciding to feel good.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Being open to a medical path that I never would have contemplated being on was a decision to feel good. Right? So it's, um, there was a lot of that decision, that that decision making in that dark, low moment. So if somebody is in a critical moment right now, listening to this, the fact that they're listening was a decision to feel good.

• 37:25Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. Yeah, 100%. How do you, how do you take that? Almost like the crazy high and low of like, you know, you you've waited, you've thought about it, you super attracted a beautiful baby, and then you go through depression afterwards. And it's like, how do you go through that in your mind from the point of view of like the the extreme high of waiting for this, being patient for it? It's amazing. And then the next thing you know, you're at one of the lowest points. Like, how do you mentally even just? Rally around that.

• 37:58Speaker 01

  I think that my faith is what got me through because I knew I was being guided, even if I felt at the darkest time, I knew that I was being guided. And when I started to really surrender was when the guidance could really come through. And now in recovery, I am actually quite grateful for it because I have like an even greater appreciation for my son than I probably would have had I not been through it. Because every moment that I have with him, I'm just like relishing in it because, because when I wasn't in that space and I couldn't recognize him and I was scared of him, I, I now know that I can celebrate the great joy of not being there.

• 38:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. It's just, it fascinates me because whenever I'm listening to you and even in the book, it's like faith comes out so strongly. And I think that's ultimately where so many people feel so challenged by it because they're like, what do I have faith in?

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Right, well, that's what, that's what all my books are about.

• 38:58Jay Shetty?

  I know, I know, yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  All my books are really about helping people decide what they have faith in.

• 39:03Jay Shetty?

  Correct.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  And giving them an opportunity to crack open to a higher power of their own understanding, as they say in the 12 steps, a higher power of your own understanding. And you know, that language is, is very free. There's a lot of freedom in that language because anyone that's listening, I don't, I don't care if they call it God, I don't care if they call it universe, I don't even care if they just call it inspiration, you know, inspiration, someone may be like, I don't think there's something outside of me, but I know that I can receive inspiration. And when I follow these steps, I'll feel that inspiration and that intuition. That's perfect.

• 39:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, so your approach is very.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  And so when you start to have faith in that inspiration, then life gets easier.

• 39:41Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. And I think that's what it is. And I love that you've just said that, that that's what your books are about. I think ultimately, life is a path of us figuring out what we have faith in. Because you're gonna have to have faith, right? Whether it's-

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Well, I think a lot of people walk around, sorry to interrupt you, but they walk around thinking that they, that their, their faith relies in their own will. And that's where they get into a lot of trouble, right? Really, really be learning to live in a way where we are no longer, it's not my way or the highway. We are starting to have this trust that we can turn things over and we can lean into a better feeling and then be guided.

• 40:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  Then, then life gets really groovy. I mean, just over the last few days, it's like, at one point, I was just feeling like a little beat up because I've been like running and moving and I'm here traveling with my family and I was just feeling it. And then I just said to my, I said, I prayed and I said, "Thank you, Spirit, you know, energy of the highest good, for, for, for giving me strength and giving me energy to get through all these beautiful opportunities and to show up for them with joy and, and, and service and, and not, you know, not being overtired and beaten down."

• 40:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  And as soon as I said that prayer, I mean, energy just started to move through me. And even though I'm tired, I'm super pumped to be here and I'm super pumped to go to the next thing and, you know?

• 41:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  So it's easy to say when you're doing awesome things like this, but,

• 41:06Jay Shetty?

  No, I get it.

• 41:07Speaker 01

  But I needed that strength.

• 41:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  And so I think that once we start to have that relationship with our higher power, we can stop trying to control things and we can give them away.

• 41:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and, and I think, I mean, when, when you were saying that, it's unfortunate that I'm only thinking of a fiction movie, but I think it's an important reference. Have you seen Doctor Strange?

• 41:23Speaker 01

  No.

• 41:24Jay Shetty?

  Okay, so Doctor Strange is awesome. You would love it.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 41:27Jay Shetty?

  And, and the great, I'm gonna give away the whole movie now, so maybe you should, okay, spoilers, I have to, I have to, I have to.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Go, go, go.

• 41:34Jay Shetty?

  The, the amazing thing about the movie is it's based on a doctor who's highly reputed, who really understands his craft, and his faith is in his hands.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:43Jay Shetty?

  And his ability-

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:44Jay Shetty?

  -to heal people.

• 41:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:47Jay Shetty?

  As a surgically heal people, not, not spiritually heal people. And what ends up happening is he has an accident. Which takes away his physical ability to have the stability in his hands to perform any surgical procedure, that he then turns to alternative paths.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:02Jay Shetty?

  Now, it's a fiction story, but I'm, and I would love to hear if you know anyone who's had a similar story. We hear about so many stories like that, or meet, I meet so many people like that who were billionaires initially and valued everything they had in their money, and then they lost that money, and then that changed them. Or someone who had a value in one of their physical attributes, whether it was their beauty or their strength, and then that was taken away from them, but then they found it somewhere else. And I think that's what I find so incredibly telling of what you're saying right now is the best example of it, is that you find that, that when your faith is simply in your physical self, it's just consistently broken.

• 42:39Speaker 01

  It's called body identification.

• 42:40Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  And when you're stuck in that body identification, you've disconnected from your spirit self, the spirit identification. I have a whole chapter in the book called Lift the Veil. It's my favorite chapter in the book. And I really push the metaphysical envelope there. And, and it's, and it's really, really talking about how we, we, when we're in that body identification, you know, my, I am, you know, this person, and I am this author, or I am this, this business owner, or doctor, or whatever, we're actually blocking our greatest source of power. So when we start to, you know, use our bodies as a vessel through which we let spirit work through us, that might sound really heady for people, but I can, I can unpack it.

• 43:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, do it. Unpack it.

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think that when we start to recognize that it's, it's, how can I make this not too heady? When we start to recognize that when we are attuned with the feeling of inspiration, I keep coming back to inspiration to use as the demystifying word, because I would, I would call it spirit, but inspiration's the same thing. When we allow ourselves to be really attuned with this inspiration, we actually, as we said before, can expand time. The, the, the beautiful message that you give to your child comes through you when you stop thinking about what you're supposed to be saying, and you allow what needs to come through. And so, we're no longer in the body and the pretense of what we think we should be doing, and we're actually in our spirit self, using the body as a vehicle

• 44:04Speaker 01

  through which we express truth. And so, when we can make that adjustment.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  You know, you're unstoppable.

• 44:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that requires a set of daily practices and like commitments, because I feel like getting to that point of even being able to let something work through you takes time, right? Like it takes your, it's not something that happens, it's not something you can turn on and turn off instantly.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  It's possible for someone to turn it on and have that quantum shift, but most people, I think they have to, we've spent, they've spent thirty, you know, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy years, even ten years detouring into fear, as a course in miracles would say. The course calls it the descent from magnitude into littleness, right? So going down that fear-based path, repurposing it, replaying it, recycling it, making, you know, creating more and more of it and really believing in it, that, you know, the years that you spend in that detour into fear, it's going to take a little while to unpack that and undo that. But it doesn't need to take as much time as it took to get there, right? So that's where a spiritual path comes in, that's where even a personal growth path, you know, just listening to you and just following this podcast

• 45:15Speaker 01

  is a part of the process of unpacking and undoing the ego. So, you know, it doesn't have to be a painful journey, that's the other thing. People don't, you know, people think, oh, it's, you know, spirituality is such a, so much work. Well, you know, have fun along the way, enjoy it. Even if you're having tough experiences, celebrate the miracle moments.

• 45:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I always find that it's, in hindsight, it's always the process that you fall in love with. Like, it's almost like, and it isn't hindsight, but you have to start using that hindsight to do it in foresight. It's almost like, before I used to look back at things that I solved and I was like, oh, it was so fun trying to figure it out. And so now I'm like, okay, let me just have fun figuring it out.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 45:55Jay Shetty?

  Right? Does that make sense?

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I can look back, you know, I said like all these years I'd been suffering, but I can look back and be like, I had a lot of fun. You know, I was suffering, I was going through stuff, I wasn't aware of what I was needing to heal. I was trying to heal, I was, you know, having anxiety, whatever it was. But I was in the pursuit of feeling good. And so that commitment continued to guide me to feeling more and more health and wellbeing.

• 46:20Jay Shetty?

  If everyone's listening right now and they're like, Gabby, I'm ready. I'm gonna try, I'm gonna get this book because I think I, I need to, because what I think you're doing, and I, and I love that you do this, and I said this to my team before you came, it's like, I really think you're spiritually challenging people today.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:34Jay Shetty?

  Uh, and I think that's a good thing. I think we need that.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:37Jay Shetty?

  Because it's easy to sit on the side of just, you know, just the, the visible. And you're really pushing people into the invisible. And every time I speak to you or I read your work, or I think about what you do for the world, I really think that's what you do. I think that's your superpower. I think you're, you're really good at challenging and pushing. Enough to provoke people, but not enough, not too much where people are like, oh my God, that's just, I don't even know.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  To wake them up, yeah.

• 47:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, which we've talked about before, like to awaken people. If someone's like, Gabby, I'm gonna to buy the book today, I'm gonna read the book, I'm gonna start making a commitment. How can they get the most out of this book? How should they read it? How should they approach it? How should, what should they be thinking of?

• 47:16Speaker 01

  Hmm, good question. I would say just be open and willing to see things differently. And take what works and resonates and don't, don't take what doesn't.

• 47:28Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Because if it doesn't resonate, then you're gonna, you have another should, you know, I should be thinking like that. And the other thing that also happens with books for me often is something will resonate the first read, and then three years later, I'll read it and it's like a whole new book, you know?

• 47:41Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  So trust that, just let yourself be cool with that.

• 47:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  And don't, don't judge your process. And I always say to people, like, if you take one lesson from this book, your life will change.

• 47:53Jay Shetty?

  Just one, yeah.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Even one.

• 47:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, even one. And in terms of guides in, in your life, when you were writing this book, where were you finding those moments of inspiration coming to you? Like, what, how was that happening? What does that feel like?

• 48:07Speaker 01

  One of my mentors is, is, I'm not saying it was, because even though he's not in the physical form anymore, is Dr. Wayne Dyer. And so he's actually been able to mentor me even more in the spiritual realm. I write about him a lot in the book. Uh, and so I, I've, I've experienced Wayne write through me and speak through me. And anyone has the capacity to connect to spirit. I mean, there's a whole book that talks about this, right?

• 48:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  So, um, Wayne is my mentor and, uh, I can, I can feel his presence as I write and as I speak. And he, you know, I think that he in many ways wants to use those of us who are willing to speak on behalf of love. And if we're willing to let him, he'll be there.

• 48:48Jay Shetty?

  That's awesome. That's amazing. It's crazy to even think that, but I've said to people so many times that you can be mentored by people you didn't even meet.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And, you know, I had a relationship in the human form, but I actually said to him, but even if I hadn't, it wouldn't matter. He could still be there. And I said to his assistant, he had one assistant his entire career, and I saw her at an event last week. And I said, Maya, you know, Wayne had a big impact on me when he was alive, but he's having a much bigger impact on me now.

• 49:14Jay Shetty?

  And does she feel the same way?

• 49:15Speaker 01

  She's like, yeah, I understand.

• 49:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, wow. That's amazing. That's awesome. Gabby, I love this. We end every interview, because I know you've got a million things that you need to go through as well. We end every interview with a final five, which is our final fast five, which means you have to answer in either one word or one sentence.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 49:31Jay Shetty?

  Now, I always break the rules with this, and I ask everyone to talk more longer than five. But here we go. So your first question that I really, really want to ask you is, what have you recently started doing in your life that has brought you the most peace?

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Being fully present with my son.

• 49:50Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  Putting the phone away. And, I mean, there's no greater way to practice presence than be with a young person.

• 49:58Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful. I love that. I can't wait to meet him.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  He's so, when you meet my child, you're gonna be like, what? You know, he's so lit up. He's a really amazing person.

• 50:07Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Sorry, I'm sure everyone says that about their own children.

• 50:09Jay Shetty?

  No, it's great. It's great.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  He's so fabulous. He's so fabulous.

• 50:12Jay Shetty?

  You can say as much nice things as you want.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  He's amazing.

• 50:14Jay Shetty?

  Question number two. Where do you think you're still holding yourself back on this journey to be super attractive? What else are those?

• 50:21Speaker 01

  I've got some trauma work I'm still working on, but now I am at a place where I feel safe enough to go to those darker places. I'm doing really heavy lifting. I'm doing a lot of EMDR therapy. This is not one sentence.

• 50:32Jay Shetty?

  That's fine. Very useful.

• 50:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. And

• 50:35Jay Shetty?

  Tell us a bit about that.

• 50:36Speaker 01

  EMDR therapy is eye movement, desensitization, and reprocessing. And it's bilateral brain functioning. So you have a buzzer in either hand or in either ear, or you're moving your eyes back and forth. And it's activating both sides of the brain while you're talking about a trauma or a disturbance. And so, much like Emotional Freedom Technique, it unlocks that energetic disturbance.

• 50:58Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  And so, you can have like, you know, full trauma leave your body. And you could walk out of one EMDR session feeling pretty new.

• 51:06Jay Shetty?

  Oh, wow, that's amazing.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I recommend it to everybody.

• 51:08Jay Shetty?

  Okay, cool. Where are you doing that, in New York?

• 51:10Speaker 01

  I have EMDR therapists up in the country where I live, and then I also have a therapist in the city that does it with me.

• 51:14Jay Shetty?

  Amazing. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, great. Question number three. What's the last kind thing you did for a stranger or someone you didn't know?

• 51:22Speaker 01

  A lot of things. I've been really, so I think becoming a mom, I've become even more compassionate than, and all of these are being answered in multiple sentences, but I don't.

• 51:32Jay Shetty?

  That's fine. They're all long, they're all deep questions.

• 51:33Speaker 01

  I've, I've become much more compassionate. So, I don't know, I can't, I can't stop on the street and see a homeless person without giving them a 20. Like, I can't, like, I, like, or more. Like, I just can't. Unless I think that there's drugs involved, and I just don't want to, you know, feed the habit. Um, I, I, on my sober anniversary, my 14 years of sobriety, I went on my Instagram, like, no plan. Like, hadn't told my team this, like, went rogue. In the morning, woke up, went on my Instagram and just started writing, and I was like, I'm so, I'm sober 14 years, and I want anyone that is needing to get clean or needing support in your recovery to, to have a copy of my book, Beer a Junkie, and I will send you a copy. And my team was like, what the fuck did you do?

• 52:14Jay Shetty?

  They're gonna figure out how to send it.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  But then they wrote back to me, and they had been responding to all these people, and they were like, this, we're saving lives. Thank you. I feel so. My, my, my head of customer care was like, I've never felt better than today, just feeling that love of being able to send thousands of books to people. And, um, yeah, the books are out.

• 52:30Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  That felt good.

• 52:31Jay Shetty?

  Question number four. What book has moved you recently?

• 52:35Speaker 01

  Hmm, I'm studying the work of Dr. Sarno. And, uh, yeah, he, he wrote How to Heal Back Pain, and The Mind Body Prescription, and The Divided Mind. And, uh, I'm, I'm going to go deep into the, to educating myself on how to teach that work. But the concept being that our physical pain and, and, and, and, and physical illness is based on a root cause condition that we, you know, impermissible rage and impermissible trauma and things that we are unwilling to feel.

• 53:02Jay Shetty?

  Couldn't agree more.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:03Jay Shetty?

  And that's the hardest part.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:04Jay Shetty?

  When you're feeling it physically.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:06Jay Shetty?

  You're trying all the physical.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  It's really hip because what he suggests is that when you feel it physically, it's actually your, so your unconscious brain has this trauma or this rage. And your conscious brain is like, nope, we're not going to feel that. So I'm going to put it on your back. And then physically what's happening is you're sending that attention to the back. And so there's no oxygen going to the back. And so there's pain and inflammation. And it's a really incredible book.

• 53:34Jay Shetty?

  That's crazy.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  All of his books. Dr. Sargav.

• 53:37Jay Shetty?

  Great recommendation. Thank you. And the fifth and final question is, what's something you were certain about that recently you changed your mind on? Something that you were like so clear about and you're like, okay, actually I've evolved that thought. And take it down.

• 53:54Jay Shetty?

  I appreciate you. Thank you.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  Certain and then I changed my mind.

• 53:58Jay Shetty?

  Well, something that was pretty set and then you reflected on it. It's evolved or has revealed something new.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  I think in my marriage, I think that I've had a lot of beliefs of like, you know, you know, you think you're right and the other one thinks they're right. And I've, in the past year, really accepted that, that the only right answer is to honor each other's feelings.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Not to fight for what you think is right.

• 54:22Jay Shetty?

  I love that. That's beautiful. I think that's great. And when you say honor, you mean just unpack honor for me just to?

• 54:28Speaker 01

  Say, I hear you.

• 54:29Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  I honor you.

• 54:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  Even if you think they're being bullshit.

• 54:32Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 54:33Speaker 01

  You know, honor that they have an experience and a feeling and an emotion.

• 54:38Jay Shetty?

  Rather than trying to interpret it or manipulate it.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  Don't defend yourself. Don't manipulate it. Don't. You know, if you're in a healthy relationship, that's not an abusive relationship, but to be able to look at somebody and say, okay, I don't see it that way. Maybe and think that yourself, I don't see it that way, but I see your suffering and I see that you're feeling something and I honor your feelings. And the thing that I've also learned from that is the greatest gift you can give a child is to honor their feelings.

• 55:01Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  And that's my commitment to Oliver.

• 55:04Jay Shetty?

  I love that. That's great. Thank you, Gabby. Thank you so much for your time today. Thank you for doing this.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Thank you, my friend.

• 55:09Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for writing this book. Everyone who's been listening and watching, make sure you go grab Super Attractor. We'll put the link in the comments, as I said. If you've enjoyed this conversation, the book dives so much more deeply into each and every one of these aspects. And as you can hear from the way Gabby speaks, it's very methodical. It's very logical. She really unpacks and breaks things down. So there's step-by-step processes here. It's not just thought and reflection. It's really packaged in a way that will help you live it. So go and grab the book. Thank you again, Gabby, for being here. So grateful for you to be here.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 55:39Jay Shetty?

  The feeling is very mutual. And I can't wait to hang out more.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, we will.

• 55:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, we need to figure that out. Yeah, thank you.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPact.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.