Dan Richards Vs. Conehead Cover-Up: The Mystery Boys Expose All Feat. Bladé | FILE_12 | Mystery Boys

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: https://www.duncantrussell.com/tour 🎤 Kurt Metzger Live Shows: https://seatgeek.com/kurt-metzger-tickets SPONSORS: If you’re over 21, head to https://Everything420.com and use code MYSTERY for 15% off your order at https://Everything420.com Sign up for your free trial at https://shopify.com/mysteryboys Head to https://www.amentara.com/go/mystery and use code MYSTERY22 for 22% off your first order Duncan Trussell and Kurt Metzger are joined by Blade (Jamar Neighbors) and DeDunking Dan (Dan Richards) for a deep dive into some of history's biggest mysteries. The boys investigate the Egyptian Schist Disk, the Pyramids of Giza, the rumored underground labyrinth beneath the pyramids, the Bronze Age Collapse, Easter Island, giant skeletons, and the age-old question: Were dragons real? From ancient civilizations and lost technology to archaeology, mythology, and conspiracy theories, this episode sends the Mystery Boys down another unforgettable rabbit hole as they try to separate fact from fiction. Leave your wildest theory in the comments, like the video, and subscribe for new episodes of Mystery Boys every week. #MysteryBoys #DuncanTrussell #KurtMetzger #JamarNeighbors #DedunkingDan #AncientEgypt #Pyramids #Conspiracy Mystery Boys File_012 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:40 - Blade The Vampire Hunter 00:28:49 - Philly Rapper Yung Filly 00:43:31 - DeDunking Dan Joins The Mystery Boys 00:45:37 - The Artificially Modified Skulls 00:48:06 - Beefing With Flint Dibble 00:53:28 - The Missing Scientist, Fauci & Covid 01:06:10 - Clavicular and Kurt Metzger Go To Tel Aviv! 01:11:27 - Dan Dedunking Hate From Dibblers 01:17:59 - Is Kurt In The CIA? a.k.a Holiday Mills 01:18:55 - Blade's Slam Poemz 01:22:26 - The Bayesian Model Is Complete Dibble 01:26:20 - Did Duncan Go To Tel Aviv? 01:26:55 - Blade's Slam Poemz pt. 2 01:29:00 - What Is Pseudoarcheology? 01:42:36 - Blade's Slam Poemz Pt. 3 01:45:07 - Vril Lizards and Mind Control 01:46:55 - Donald Marshall Break Down From Agent Holiday Mills 01:48:38 - Advertisements In Dreams 01:54:57 - Mind Reading Headphones from the World Economic Forum 02:01:23 - China Uses Brain Monitoring Devices In Schools 02:03:45 - Kurt's Secret Chinese Comedy Festival 02:05:02 - CIA Secret: The Polybius Machine 02:07:42 - Trump's Ban On Chinese Robots 02:10:01 - Censoring Of Wars On Social Media 02:12:47 - The Egyptian Schist Disk 02:14:03 - The Mysteries Of The Pyramids Of Giza 02:15:11 - The Secret Mazes Under The Pyramids of Giza 02:22:17 - Kurt Metzger Exposes The Bronze Age Collapse 02:25:15 - Is Easter Island The REAL Atlantis? 02:31:49 - Bones Of Giants Found 02:33:47 - Dragons and Giants Are REAL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 0:51Kurt Metzger?

  Hello, I'm Holiday Mills. And I'm not in the CIA, so don't even start that shit. And with me as always is my associate.

• 0:58Duncan Trussell?

  Wigwam Trimbler.

• 1:00Kurt Metzger?

  And a special guest, who was very kind enough to join us today on The Mystery Boys. He's a local legend in Austin. His name is Blade, the real Blade. And he's a vampire hunter.

• 1:12Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, cool.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  I'm Blade, not Blade. Blade.

• 1:17Duncan Trussell?

  Blade.

• 1:17Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, like Shadé.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wear white.

• 1:22Kurt Metzger?

  And is that, is that why they don't have to pay you from Blade royalties or nothing? Because he were black?

• 1:28Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:30Kurt Metzger?

  That's fucking amazing.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  And my taxes are good.

• 1:32Kurt Metzger?

  And his taxes are good. That's another, uh...

• 1:36Speaker 03

  So wait, you...

• 1:37Kurt Metzger?

  So it's not, singer's name is not Seed?

• 1:39Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, no. That's Shadé. That's my sister. As you can see, we have the same color.

• 1:46Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:47Kurt Metzger?

  Your mom names you Blade and Shadé?

• 1:49Duncan Trussell?

  That's beautiful. Your mom's cool.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, she all right.

• 1:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah?

• 1:53Speaker 03

  She did drugs, but she straight.

• 1:55Kurt Metzger?

  How'd you get into vampire hunting?

• 1:57Speaker 03

  Vampire hunting?

• 1:58Kurt Metzger?

  You hunt vampires in the Boston area, is what I was told by Tanner.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  I started off by killing just homeless people and shit. You know? And I, I had to graduate to the knives and stuff. But before the knives, I used my, uh, my deaf hand. My deaf grip.

• 2:13Kurt Metzger?

  I'm sorry, are you saying, uh, something with their...

• 2:16Speaker 03

  I strangled homeless people up under the fucking freeway.

• 2:18Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 2:19Speaker 03

  With this hand, though. It don't, it don't hurt with this hand.

• 2:22Duncan Trussell?

  When did you encounter a vampire for the first time?

• 2:25Speaker 03

  Uh, man, I was at a sex party.

• 2:27Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 2:28Speaker 03

  Uh, and, and, and a person tried to, uh, the person tried to lick my neck. And I don't like that shit. So I was like, ah, man, move. And I started choking that motherfucker.

• 2:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  And he died.

• 2:39Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, not to split hairs, but, uh, what do you mean strangling homeless under the... Are we allowed? You guys, Tanner?

• 2:45Duncan Trussell?

  I thought we were talking about vampires. Why are we getting into his early career? I want to hear more about...

• 2:49Kurt Metzger?

  I was just wondering how he got into it.

• 2:51Duncan Trussell?

  He strangled some homeless people, but I want to hear about the creatures of the night.

• 2:55Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner, can you come here for...

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Are you wanting to hear who my, uh, who my, uh, who my, uh, the upper guy who bit me is?

• 3:01Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you're, wait, you're...

• 3:03Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner, get over here. I, I'm sorry. This is one of Tanner's friends. I don't know if it's his friend from school. Now Tanner, uh...

• 3:10Speaker 03

  Where? I don't see him.

• 3:12Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, why don't you stand over here so that you're on camera, for goodness sakes?

• 3:15Speaker 03

  Where?

• 3:16Kurt Metzger?

  What is going on with, uh? Is, are we gonna get in trouble? Because he just said he strangles homeless people under the, the bridge? All right.

• 3:26Duncan Trussell?

  We'll be good. I think we'll be good. Why are you getting all woke?

• 3:28Speaker 03

  Who is...

• 3:29Kurt Metzger?

  I'm, okay. I'm not, believe me. I would love to hire early Blade.

• 3:34Duncan Trussell?

  Woke mind virus.

• 3:39Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not in the CIA, so cut that shit. Okay. All right, all right. If you think it's okay.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Who are you guys just talking to?

• 3:46Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner, he's, uh, I don't know. He's into this gang culture. He's always gotta wear his shysty wherever he goes.

• 3:52Duncan Trussell?

  He's been running with some, some dangerous folks.

• 3:55Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, some unsavory people, to say the least.

• 3:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, so...

• 3:58Speaker 03

  Well, anyway, so when I was nine, uh, when I was nine, uh, you know, my dad, who I don't talk about a lot.

• 4:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Uh, he told me one day I was gonna be special. And I never knew what he was talking about. And then, uh, when I got older, I don't know what it is about homeless people and that motherfucker at that sex party. He tried to lick my neck, man, I fucked him up.

• 4:20Kurt Metzger?

  We're not knowing you had already strangled... How many homeless had you strangled?

• 4:23Speaker 03

  I was, I was strangled like, um, I, I strangled like at least 14 of them.

• 4:27Kurt Metzger?

  It seems like, uh...

• 4:31Duncan Trussell?

  A lot?

• 4:32Kurt Metzger?

  Are you sure this is not a problem, Tanner?

• 4:35Speaker 03

  But that 15 person that I, the 15 person that I tried to kill, whatever, he wouldn't die. And I was like, why won't you die? And...

• 4:42Duncan Trussell?

  Blade, I'm sorry. I think Kurt is being, is offended because you're using the term homeless. Could you say you strangled unhoused?

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Excuse me, homeless, homeless sexuals.

• 4:52Kurt Metzger?

  Homeless sexuals.

• 4:53Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 4:55Kurt Metzger?

  I think that's, that was my problem. Thanks.

• 4:57Duncan Trussell?

  I got you.

• 4:58Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  And I was throwing them in the, uh, in the lakes and shit.

• 5:03Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I really...

• 5:04Speaker 03

  It's usually Lady Bird Lake. Because they're lady boys.

• 5:08Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 5:08Duncan Trussell?

  It is a lot to hear. It's just, you're so upfront about it. I mean, I guess the...

• 5:12Speaker 03

  I'm a vulnerable dude.

• 5:13Duncan Trussell?

  I, I love it.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Why would I wear all white like this?

• 5:15Duncan Trussell?

  No, I get it.

• 5:16Kurt Metzger?

  And have his taxes in order.

• 5:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 5:18Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, so how? How do you make your money, Blade?

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Money? I'm dead.

• 5:25Duncan Trussell?

  But you still, don't you still need to like buy your outfits?

• 5:28Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, that's a great leather jacket.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Oh, no, I took all this shit off, off one of them homeless, off one of them homeless gay dudes.

• 5:33Kurt Metzger?

  That's a very clean jacket.

• 5:34Duncan Trussell?

  Very clean.

• 5:35Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so wait, you have, you do hunt actual vampires, though, right? Or does it...

• 5:40Speaker 03

  Would you ask me?

• 5:41Duncan Trussell?

  Do you hunt vampires? Or you just, do you just...

• 5:44Speaker 03

  I hunt whoever the fuck is in my way. But it's usually homeless people and vampires. But sometimes the homeless people be the vampires. They had that little Wuhan shit or whatever. So they confused me up.

• 5:54Duncan Trussell?

  Xylazine?

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that shit. So I, I...

• 5:59Kurt Metzger?

  What? I'm sorry, I'm not familiar.

• 6:01Duncan Trussell?

  Xylazine.

• 6:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, these are nice.

• 6:03Duncan Trussell?

  You're, you're saying like you see the, the rotting skin and you're like, oh, that's a vampire?

• 6:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yep. Yep.

• 6:11Duncan Trussell?

  Like the...

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Do not, can you take that off the screen?

• 6:14Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 6:14Speaker 03

  That cross shit. Take that off the screen.

• 6:16Kurt Metzger?

  What? Oh.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Take it off.

• 6:18Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 6:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 6:19Duncan Trussell?

  Guys, take that off.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  Is it on?

• 6:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Wait, are you, oh, you, are you a vampire who hunts homeless people? Am I misunderstanding your title?

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, yes. I'm a vampire who hunts homeless people.

• 6:34Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, that is way different than, uh...

• 6:36Duncan Trussell?

  I thought you hunted vampires.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  Man, I hunt whoever the fuck is in my way. I keep telling you. But the people who usually in my way are homeless vampires.

• 6:48Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, it feels like you're just saying they're vampires.

• 6:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Man, you can't really tell the difference, man, because they all dirty and a bitch.

• 6:55Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, are you sure the cross didn't bother you because you openly stated you killed 14 people? Maybe that's what you were feeling from...

• 7:03Speaker 03

  I already did my time, so I don't really care about telling you how much I, how many people I killed.

• 7:07Duncan Trussell?

  You went to jail?

• 7:08Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I didn't, I didn't know you'd paid your debt.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, that's my sign. That's my symbol right there.

• 7:14Duncan Trussell?

  Which one?

• 7:14Speaker 03

  The nation. Go back up.

• 7:17Kurt Metzger?

  The Nation of Islam?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Ain't that what that is?

• 7:20Kurt Metzger?

  Uh... I, you know, it could be. I don't know.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  That, that one, that one, that one right there. Click it, click it, click it, click it. You do, would you like me to break these symbols down to you?

• 7:31Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I would love for you to do that, please.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  Okay. Because I have a birthmark that look just like that. Go ahead.

• 7:39Kurt Metzger?

  Is that how you were identified in those murders?

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Yes, this is my, these are my tattoo, uh, these are my...

• 7:44Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's see.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Okay, so you see this star right here?

• 7:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  Okay, so as you, as you can see, there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 points.

• 7:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  All right? So you get 6 points for every homeless person you kill.

• 7:56Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. And, uh, and, and the one in the middle, whatever? I was, uh, the Nation of Islam gives me a lot of love for what I do.

• 8:04Duncan Trussell?

  Oh. Are they the ones who keep up with the score? Or who, who is, who sets that rule, 6 points?

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Uh, uh, uh, Narumi Mohammed.

• 8:13Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, he... And that cross right there? That cross right there got blood on it and shit?

• 8:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's just, uh, that's, you know, God...

• 8:23Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, I don't even understand what this means.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  Okay, so basically, you get 6 points over here if you kill a homeless. If for each, every single homeless person you kill. That's why it has 6 points.

• 8:33Duncan Trussell?

  So you get like a star for every homeless?

• 8:35Kurt Metzger?

  I'm asking you, I, I don't know what this image is. It says, origin of symbols. And then it has...

• 8:40Duncan Trussell?

  Some kind of scoring system?

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:43Kurt Metzger?

  It doesn't say, it's going to, okay, so we have the Star of Epstein on the left. And it says Islam is the origin of that. That's weird. Then the Islamic Crescent says Zoroastrianism is where we got that from.

• 8:54Duncan Trussell?

  It might be I-Slam.

• 8:57Kurt Metzger?

  What? I-Slam?

• 9:00Speaker 03

  I-Slam. A lot of the people in our shit are slam poets.

• 9:04Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, now, if you told me you strangled 14 slam poets, I wouldn't even ask Tanner if it's okay. Because I'd know it's okay.

• 9:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 9:10Kurt Metzger?

  Because fuck slam poetry. I want to make that clear.

• 9:13Duncan Trussell?

  Are you a slam poet?

• 9:14Kurt Metzger?

  I have never, ever, I want to make something, there's...

• 9:17Duncan Trussell?

  You do slam poetry?

• 9:18Speaker 03

  I am a slam poet.

• 9:19Duncan Trussell?

  Let's hear it.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  All right. Day walking at night, night walking at day. What will they say when I come up and I strangle them any time of day? Throw your ass off of a bridge, bitch. What I wish. Yeah!

• 9:41Duncan Trussell?

  Keep going, sorry. Powerful.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  A nigga would.

• 9:47Duncan Trussell?

  That is amazing.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Wood, as in wooden stake.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  Very, not rare. I forgot, I ain't did this shit since I was on Death Poetry Jam in nineteen ninety-nine.

• 10:02Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 10:03Kurt Metzger?

  You've had a rich life, I could say.

• 10:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you've really lived.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I met Russell Simmons in one of them, uh, in one of them little, uh, one of the little retreats that he was at, and he told me that I could, I could, I, I, I could. What do you guys do?

• 10:16Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, we suck cosmic mysteries. Now, uh, Russell Simmons, is it true that he can use yoga to suck his own dick, or is that something that I dreamt?

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 10:29Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, good.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:30Kurt Metzger?

  I might, I might have dreamt it, and it's true as well.

• 10:33Duncan Trussell?

  Can we Google that? Oh, look, pull up, is there, yeah, can we pull up how to self-suck?

• 10:40Speaker 03

  To be fair, he took out one of his ribs.

• 10:43Duncan Trussell?

  Real quick.

• 10:44Kurt Metzger?

  Russell Simmons did?

• 10:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, he took out one of his ribs.

• 10:46Duncan Trussell?

  Just do enter, I don't think you have to pick.

• 10:48Kurt Metzger?

  It reminds me of the Adam and Eve story, except instead of Eve, you suck your own dick.

• 10:52Duncan Trussell?

  Here we go, guys, let's watch this real quick.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was just like this when I met him.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Guys, this is Jessica Bloom. Um, one of the most common questions people ask me is how do I suck?

• 11:07Duncan Trussell?

  We get subtitles, I can hear.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  So that's what I'm gonna show you.

• 11:10Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys turn it up a little bit?

• 11:12Speaker 04

  Let's get to it, shall we? There are headphones out there. So first up, you wanna get comfortable in bed, and we're gonna warm up the legs to start with. Before you do any intense strength or exercise, you should always warm up. It's also good to do a little warm down after as well to.

• 11:29Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I didn't know this was gonna be real, I thought it'd be like more of a psych gag.

• 11:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, cut to that.

• 11:35Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, oh, this is, um, um, has this always been a girl?

• 11:39Speaker 04

  We'll do ten more.

• 11:40Duncan Trussell?

  I, I.

• 11:41Kurt Metzger?

  No, it has not, it has not.

• 11:43Duncan Trussell?

  There we go.

• 11:46Speaker 04

  Take good looks, step daddy.

• 11:48Duncan Trussell?

  Do you have to shove something up your ass to suck your own dick, Blade?

• 11:53Speaker 03

  I don't know, but I'ma find this bitch and I'ma throw her a ladybird, a ladybird leg.

• 11:59Kurt Metzger?

  I think you.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  Oh my dear God.

• 12:01Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, uh, look.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  All right. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm about to go kill her.

• 12:06Duncan Trussell?

  Why?

• 12:07Speaker 03

  Huh? It's just my job.

• 12:08Duncan Trussell?

  She's a yoga instructor.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  It's my job.

• 12:12Kurt Metzger?

  Can I not?

• 12:12Speaker 03

  It's my job.

• 12:14Duncan Trussell?

  There, look, look, look, it's possible.

• 12:18Kurt Metzger?

  I actually have to look at a devotional candle to Lindsey Graham to avoid things.

• 12:22Duncan Trussell?

  God, you guys are both so sex negative, it's really weird.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, yeah, but I, I am gonna go kill that person.

• 12:28Duncan Trussell?

  Why?

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 12:30Duncan Trussell?

  She teaches yoga, she's helping the world, Blade.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's my job, I told you, I kill ladyboys and throw them in labor.

• 12:36Duncan Trussell?

  Would you say that's a vampire?

• 12:37Speaker 03

  A hundred percent.

• 12:39Duncan Trussell?

  How do you tell, what are the signs?

• 12:41Kurt Metzger?

  The sucking.

• 12:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's this vampire.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  The sucking of the blood out of the penis.

• 12:46Duncan Trussell?

  That's what they're doing?

• 13:02Speaker 05

  We interrupt this broadcast to bring the following message to the people of Florida.

• 13:08Speaker 05

  Kerp Metzger will be in Tampa this Friday and Saturday at SideSplitters, August seventh through the eighth. Then, August twentieth through the twenty-second, Kerp will be in Gainesville, St. Augustine, and Sanford, Orlando area. Go to Punch Up Live to buy tickets, right now.

• 13:32Duncan Trussell?

  Huh, one thing the milkman knows is the best nights are the ones that happen without a plan. But you know what will instantly kill an impromptu vibe? Realizing you're completely out of everything to elevate said vibe, which is why you need everything420.com. They're your one-stop shop for all your sesh essentials, from flowers and edibles, to vapes and concentrates, to glass. That means pipes. Everything ships fast and discreetly to your door, because let's be honest, it's nobody's damn business. You really want your neighbors to know you're a stoner, a Rastafarian, that you're healing the earth in your mind by slurping on your Garfield bong? No. And if you're feeling adventurous, check out their mystery boxes.

• 14:16Duncan Trussell?

  Just pick your favorite category and they'll send you a surprise box, packed with products that are usually worth way more than you pay. So, if you're over twenty-one, head to everything420.com and use code MYSTERY for fifteen percent off your order. Again, that's everything420.com, promo code MYSTERY for fifteen percent off.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  You can do it that way, or you could do the neck.

• 14:43Duncan Trussell?

  So they self-suck blood out of their own dicks?

• 14:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, people are desperate to be vampires, everybody wanna live forever, but don't nobody got a real plan after that, and that's most vampires' problem.

• 14:53Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, right, you just turned into a vampire, now what? You gonna sit around suck blood out of your own dick?

• 14:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:59Duncan Trussell?

  For the rest of time?

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:02Kurt Metzger?

  You ever see that snakes sometimes get confused and start eating their own tails?

• 15:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 15:06Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm. Fighting with like scorpions and shit?

• 15:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 15:08Kurt Metzger?

  Can you imagine, what a way to go out.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:11Duncan Trussell?

  Sucking your own, sucking all the blood out of you.

• 15:13Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know that's a real thing snakes do.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.

• 15:16Kurt Metzger?

  Um.

• 15:18Duncan Trussell?

  So what are your, um, what are your plans for the future, uh, specifically, do you need a helper or anything? I ha, I brought some stuff that I thought maybe, uh, if, in case you need an assistant.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Well, I wanna learn how to fly like, uh, like, uh, like, uh, like, like, like, like one of them real vampire niggas do. I'm real.

• 15:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  But I wanna, I wanna like, I gotta learn how to fly, like that, like that, like that, or like levitate, not fly, but like levitate.

• 15:42Duncan Trussell?

  You wanna levitate?

• 15:43Speaker 03

  I don't mean to point the knife at you.

• 15:44Duncan Trussell?

  Is that like something you develop as a vampire, is that like an advanced skill, or how does that work?

• 15:49Speaker 03

  I'ma go back and see what Russell Simmons say, cause he seemed to got control over his mind and shit, so I'ma see how, if he could, uh.

• 15:56Kurt Metzger?

  Is it the bowtie? Is that, you know, I, I, I've never trusted a man in a bowtie, ever.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  No?

• 16:03Kurt Metzger?

  Have you?

• 16:04Duncan Trussell?

  You can't.

• 16:05Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, that's why I would never trust Nation of Islam, cause the guy wears a fucking bowtie, like, that's fucking, what are you up, I mean, uh, who? Is there, it's like a diddler tie, that's what they should call it, a diddle tie.

• 16:17Duncan Trussell?

  Diddle tie.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess.

• 16:18Kurt Metzger?

  That's what that fuck Buster wears.

• 16:21Duncan Trussell?

  Piece of shit.

• 16:22Speaker 03

  That is a punk ass tie.

• 16:23Kurt Metzger?

  You know Buster, this piece of shit puppet that he's into gooning? You know, we should ask Blade to watch this music video.

• 16:29Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, yeah, this is Buster.

• 16:31Kurt Metzger?

  Buster, bowtie-wearing, piece of shit puppet.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Okay. Let me watch.

• 16:37Kurt Metzger?

  He's, he's appeared on pre, let me tell you, the last episode that had Buster, did that drag or what?

• 16:41Duncan Trussell?

  It dragged, and guys, we're not putting him back on the show, I've read the comments, I don't like him either, he's off the show.

• 16:48Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, it really was a big drag on the show, I would say.

• 16:51Duncan Trussell?

  Big drag.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  While you guys talk to each other, I'm gonna try and levitate.

• 16:56Duncan Trussell?

  Go ahead.

• 16:56Kurt Metzger?

  Well, uh, maybe, well, I want you to, you apply your vampire, uh, maybe we could get you to, uh, you know, track down Buster.

• 17:05Duncan Trussell?

  It's a great, great posture.

• 17:09Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on.

• 17:15Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, play the Buster track.

• 17:16Duncan Trussell?

  All right, play this stupid shit.

• 17:25Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, play the Buster track.

• 17:26Duncan Trussell?

  All right, play this stupid shit.

• 17:45Kurt Metzger?

  How do you feel about the cartoons being?

• 17:51Speaker 03

  I.

• 17:56Kurt Metzger?

  It's about gooning.

• 18:10Duncan Trussell?

  He's good, though.

• 18:12Kurt Metzger?

  I know, I hate him.

• 18:18Kurt Metzger?

  What's this shit?

• 18:19Duncan Trussell?

  Tanner, come on.

• 18:23Kurt Metzger?

  Ew.

• 18:25Kurt Metzger?

  Look at this, he's, he's.

• 18:29Kurt Metzger?

  What is, why is he hitting?

• 18:32Kurt Metzger?

  Look at this, why?

• 18:35Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 18:40Kurt Metzger?

  He's a good dancer, I give him that. Um, okay, uh, first of all, I didn't, number one, I don't like the use of the N word by Buster. Number two.

• 18:48Duncan Trussell?

  I don't either.

• 18:49Kurt Metzger?

  But that, a small, small issue compared to him whacking, uh, burkaed Muslim women with a rolled up newspaper. That's.

• 18:58Duncan Trussell?

  It's offensive.

• 18:58Kurt Metzger?

  That's what he goons to.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  I threw one of them in the lake too, one time, cause I thought it was a vampire, cause they had on all black.

• 19:04Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  The bitch just had on a big ass burka and shit.

• 19:06Kurt Metzger?

  What would you say your ratio of actual, uh, vampire to, uh, you know, just no, human slaves is?

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Uh, I'd probably kill more humans than vampires by accident, cause you know, a lot of vamp, a lot of humans and vampires like look the same.

• 19:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you're a one man Israel out there.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, man.

• 19:23Kurt Metzger?

  Cleaning up Gaza.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Shout out to the Israelites.

• 19:25Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  You know?

• 19:27Duncan Trussell?

  Shout out.

• 19:29Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  And what's this one? What's this one? What's this, uh, what's that?

• 19:32Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, this is, uh, you know, bull whip.

• 19:36Kurt Metzger?

  Casablanca, remember Casablanca?

• 19:37Speaker 03

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no.

• 19:44Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 19:45Speaker 03

  No.

• 19:46Duncan Trussell?

  Are you ki- it doesn't have a cross on it? What are you, what's wrong?

• 19:49Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 19:49Duncan Trussell?

  What's the problem?

• 19:50Speaker 03

  Holiday, no.

• 19:52Kurt Metzger?

  Step one, let's all put, uh, let's all put our weapons down.

• 19:56Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, okay, I'll put it down. I got, my dominatrix gave me this. Alright.

• 20:04Kurt Metzger?

  It was cause, uh, I, and I know why he's offended and.

• 20:07Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

• 20:08Kurt Metzger?

  Cause you know, don't forget, we covered this.

• 20:09Duncan Trussell?

  It doesn't have a cross?

• 20:10Kurt Metzger?

  That's why the Wachowskis turned into chicks from a whipping. And as a fan of the Matrix, I'm sure it obsessed Bladé as much as it obsessed me.

• 20:17Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't know vampires were afraid of, of whips.

• 20:20Kurt Metzger?

  Well, in Casablanca, yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:22Duncan Trussell?

  I guess you're right.

• 20:23Kurt Metzger?

  It's insensitive to vampires to be, bring a, a bull whip around them.

• 20:26Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry, I had no idea.

• 20:28Kurt Metzger?

  See, look at, they, he, we're lucky he's not crying in blood.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 20:32Duncan Trussell?

  So that's like a classic vampire, right?

• 20:34Speaker 03

  See, he's from Transylvania. See?

• 20:37Kurt Metzger?

  He's from where?

• 20:38Speaker 03

  Transylvania.

• 20:40Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 20:43Speaker 03

  It's not the wrong, being from Transylvania.

• 20:45Kurt Metzger?

  Prunesylvania, maybe, yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  But.

• 20:48Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever been to Transylvania?

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Hell no, I ain't never been to no damn Transylvania. And don't you ever say, no, never accuse me of no shit like that.

• 20:55Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't that the home for vampires?

• 20:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I, I don't know where that's at.

• 21:00Kurt Metzger?

  What is that knife for? It looks like it's for hacking balls off.

• 21:02Speaker 03

  Oh, this one? Oh, oh, oh, uh.

• 21:04Kurt Metzger?

  That looks like a dick knife, and that's, uh, wild.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  It's curved.

• 21:08Duncan Trussell?

  Hmm.

• 21:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yup.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  It's curved, cause I, I asked her to get it, uh, to get a, a mold of me.

• 21:14Kurt Metzger?

  That looks like the metal.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  Moving right along, what is this over here?

• 21:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh God, a Newberry castrating knife? I don't like it.

• 21:22Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up the Newberry castrating knife, please?

• 21:24Kurt Metzger?

  Oh God.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Oh, it goes by girth?

• 21:26Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, it's for cattle.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  Oh, you can adjust it to girth.

• 21:27Duncan Trussell?

  It's only thirty-one bucks.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 21:31Duncan Trussell?

  That's a deal.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  Ah, this shit is getting real dark.

• 21:35Duncan Trussell?

  I would expect castrating knives to be way more expensive.

• 21:38Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 21:39Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know, it just seems like they'd be expensive, specialized, medical products.

• 21:42Kurt Metzger?

  Who the fuck makes those?

• 21:43Duncan Trussell?

  Newberry.

• 21:45Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, it's not like a town? This town's known for castration knives.

• 21:50Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up Newberry Castration Services?

• 21:54Kurt Metzger?

  I don't think you should bury your name and do a castrating thing.

• 21:57Duncan Trussell?

  No, they don't have a website. Well, shit. What about, it's the day, I thought y'all had to sleep in coffins and stuff.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  No, no, I'm a, I'm a, uh, you know, if you wear all white, it's okay for you to come outside. Did y'all know that?

• 22:11Kurt Metzger?

  Is that true?

• 22:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:12Kurt Metzger?

  I had no idea.

• 22:13Duncan Trussell?

  Why don't other vampires do that?

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Uh, it was a glitch that I have found, cause one time, uh, one time, one time somebody took all my black shit, and all I had was white shit in my closet, and I was like, I guess I'll wear this.

• 22:24Kurt Metzger?

  Is that right?

• 22:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:26Duncan Trussell?

  And then you just went outside?

• 22:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I went outside and I was like.

• 22:32Duncan Trussell?

  Must've been a great day.

• 22:33Kurt Metzger?

  Is that?

• 22:34Speaker 03

  It was weird.

• 22:35Kurt Metzger?

  Does that look familiar?

• 22:37Speaker 03

  Oh, man, look at Lionel.

• 22:39Kurt Metzger?

  That's Lionel?

• 22:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, look at Lionel.

• 22:41Duncan Trussell?

  So why are his eyes red like that?

• 22:43Speaker 03

  Oh, that's just the way it's born. You know, some niggas got green eyes, some people got blue eyes.

• 22:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Gerald Kelly, the green haired monster.

• 22:48Duncan Trussell?

  Mm-hmm. That's not, that has nothing to do with vampires.

• 22:49Kurt Metzger?

  Gerald Kelly, the comedian, has green eyes.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Gerald Kelly.

• 22:53Duncan Trussell?

  But that's not vampire related, that's just born with red eyes.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, he's just got pretty eyes.

• 22:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:58Duncan Trussell?

  Beautiful.

• 22:59Kurt Metzger?

  He just got real pretty eyes, this guy.

• 23:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. He like, he like the sexy convict.

• 23:04Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's, uh.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Shout out to Gerald and Isaiah.

• 23:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's.

• 23:10Kurt Metzger?

  Let, uh, let's move on just to, um, you were telling me about the Andrew Callahan thing on Xylas, ew.

• 23:16Speaker 03

  No, that's not, and that person, that's not even a real vampire, that's a nigga in a hoodie with some, with some fucked up teeth.

• 23:22Duncan Trussell?

  So that's fake, cause I couldn't tell. I would look at that and think that's a real vampire. So you have that ability to just tell right away?

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, I could tell. And the bags up under their eye, he's just sleepy. Cause you know vampire, they don't really sleep.

• 23:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what are the classic signs you're around a vampire?

• 23:39Speaker 03

  Really? Like, like, okay, classic sign, okay, if their drink is red, it's a vampire.

• 23:45Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 23:46Kurt Metzger?

  So just start stabbing.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:49Duncan Trussell?

  But what if it's Kool-Aid or wine or, always?

• 23:53Speaker 03

  Listen, listen, vampires cannot drink sugar. You didn't know that?

• 23:58Kurt Metzger?

  So it can't be Kool-Aid?

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 24:01Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, I see.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 24:03Duncan Trussell?

  I see.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 24:05Duncan Trussell?

  What are some other vampire signs?

• 24:07Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, if they really super pale, if they're really super pale, it's like, they, uh, they, uh, uh, that could be a sign that they have vampire.

• 24:18Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  Or that they're mixed.

• 24:20Duncan Trussell?

  Alright.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  But, so I confuse, and it's a lot, it's really, it's really a lot confusing. You don't, you really don't know unless you try to suck blood out of them and don't know blood come out. You know, then you be like, oh wait, he ain't no blood, oh, this is vampire.

• 24:35Duncan Trussell?

  Do you try, did you try to suck the blood out of the homeless people first, or?

• 24:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did, because one of them, well, I, I, I, I, it really put me on to it, is one of them told me that they wanna live forever, and I'm like, but then you gonna be broke forever, he's like, I don't care, I like this lifestyle.

• 24:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 03

  And I was like, alright, fuck it, and I tried to bite the motherfucker and.

• 24:55Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  You know, uh, pull up something else that's interesting.

• 24:59Duncan Trussell?

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• 25:42Speaker 03

  Yup.

• 25:42Duncan Trussell?

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• 26:15Kurt Metzger?

  True.

• 26:16Duncan Trussell?

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• 26:56Duncan Trussell?

  No joke, I love ammonita. Sure, we've all seen it, like at gas stations and stuff, what is that? What could it be? Well, the ammonita that you're gonna get from Ammentara is so incredible, do not take drugs from gas stations. If you're at all curious, here's what to do. Click that link in the description. It's amentara.com/go/mystery. That link takes you to exclusive bundles, built specifically for people trying this for the first time, not just the general storefront. First timer bundles. Click the link and then use the code MYSTERY22 at checkout. That gets you twenty-two percent off your first order. amentara.com/go/mystery.

• 27:41Duncan Trussell?

  Links in the description, code MYSTERY22. Start low. Pay attention. It's one of those things you dial in for yourself, remember, you can always take more, you can never take less.

• 27:56Kurt Metzger?

  Um, okay, where's the, where, where's the sheath for your ball knife there, uh?

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Oh shit, I forgot.

• 28:03Kurt Metzger?

  It's making me nervous seeing it out. Okay, let, go to the, the, the Andrew Callahan thing you're trying to explain to me, Duncan.

• 28:11Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, this is Andrew Callahan in Philadelphia. He is, uh, examining the xylazine, uh, problem out there. A lot of people are getting into this stuff, makes your skin rot off.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  What church do you preach at?

• 28:28Duncan Trussell?

  What's that?

• 28:29Speaker 03

  What church do you preach at?

• 28:30Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, this, uh, I'm not really a priest.

• 28:37Kurt Metzger?

  It's, you know, kinda stolen valor a little bit.

• 28:39Duncan Trussell?

  Not really. I just said I wasn't a priest. It'd be stolen valor if I said I was a priest. I'm a bishop.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. Like a little horse thing on the little chessboard.

• 28:51Duncan Trussell?

  You got it. I move diagonally when I need to.

• 28:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, who's that rapper?

• 28:58Duncan Trussell?

  I do.

• 28:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, there's some-

• 28:59Duncan Trussell?

  It's more than a game.

• 29:01Kurt Metzger?

  The, he'll come at you diagonal. Uh, who's the rapper who's something Philly, something the Philly? F I L L Y?

• 29:11Duncan Trussell?

  I know what you're talking about.

• 29:12Kurt Metzger?

  And, but, okay, because-

• 29:14Speaker 03

  Filthy Rich?

• 29:15Kurt Metzger?

  No, no. Young Philly.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  I never heard of him.

• 29:19Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Yeah, he's, I think he's half Asian. Well, it's Asian use, I think. But, um, a Philly is a, a, a virgin horse. Female, a young female horse is called a Philly.

• 29:31Speaker 03

  It is?

• 29:31Kurt Metzger?

  That's right. Like a stallion is a fucking young male horse.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 29:36Kurt Metzger?

  So there's Megan the Stallion, and then now Young Philly, the-

• 29:39Speaker 03

  Megan the Stallion is a dude?

• 29:40Kurt Metzger?

  Look at, a Philly, a young female horse. This guy's rap name is Young Female Horse.

• 29:46Duncan Trussell?

  So what?

• 29:47Speaker 03

  Wait, go back, go back.

• 29:48Kurt Metzger?

  Look, he's British, so-

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Wait, go back, go back. So Megan the Stallion is a dude?

• 29:53Kurt Metzger?

  That's how I take it. Put in the definition stallion.

• 29:59Kurt Metzger?

  Look, I don't claim to be, um, expert in animal hus- husbandry, and I'm certainly have never been in the CIA.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 30:06Kurt Metzger?

  That's an unc- I mean, she's still got the dick.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  Megan the Stallion's a dude?

• 30:10Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, how should I take that?

• 30:14Speaker 03

  What?

• 30:15Kurt Metzger?

  I mean-

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 30:17Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 30:17Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 30:18Speaker 03

  That's what Megan the Stallion got? Zoom in, zoom in?

• 30:21Kurt Metzger?

  How could she not? That's why she's a big bitch.

• 30:24Duncan Trussell?

  Can horses suck their own dicks?

• 30:27Kurt Metzger?

  No, absolutely not. Because they don't, how would they possibly be able to pull that off?

• 30:31Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know.

• 30:31Kurt Metzger?

  I guess if you take it off of the horse and, and get, feed it to him like a carrot.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Ah!

• 30:36Kurt Metzger?

  If you give it to him like a carrot, okay.

• 30:38Duncan Trussell?

  That's fucked up, man.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  That's what Klay Thompson used to fuck on?

• 30:40Duncan Trussell?

  That's crazy. That's like a-

• 30:42Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I don't know what he did. He used to swing on it like Tarzan, probably. Look at that vine. Look at that sturdy-

• 30:48Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 30:49Kurt Metzger?

  Jungle vine that Megan the Stallion has.

• 30:52Duncan Trussell?

  Crazy.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  That thing makes other horses.

• 30:55Duncan Trussell?

  That's right.

• 30:56Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. They make these giant dick holes. They're, they harvest their, uh-

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Man.

• 31:01Kurt Metzger?

  All right.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  I wanna cut it off of one of these.

• 31:03Duncan Trussell?

  Can we get another slam poem?

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, sure. Uh-

• 31:07Kurt Metzger?

  We really gotta get to this, Cal.

• 31:09Duncan Trussell?

  Let's just get to slam poem first.

• 31:10Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  Say my name in the mirror five times,

• 31:22Speaker 03

  and I won't come, 'cause that's Candyman's job. Say my name in the mirror four times, and

• 31:30Speaker 03

  I ain't got no job, so I may not come either.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Throw in people in the Lady Bird Lake, that's my calling.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Call me in the mirror three times, and I might just be ballin'.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  Snap your fingers if you feel me,

• 31:53Speaker 03

  but don't put that stake in my heart if you wanna kill me.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 32:01Duncan Trussell?

  Great.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  Oh, I call that one, uh, I call that one, uh, hill, hilling. Hilling.

• 32:11Kurt Metzger?

  Wow.

• 32:12Duncan Trussell?

  What's your problem, man? Why do you hate slam poetry? What's your problem? That was incredible.

• 32:17Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I mean, I guess he's bouncing you out by murdering the homeless.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  I got one about albinos I'll do later.

• 32:25Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 32:25Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, okay, that is, I would like to hear that.

• 32:27Duncan Trussell?

  I wanna hear it.

• 32:28Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, good, just look, because we gotta get to Dan.

• 32:31Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, well, let's do it.

• 32:31Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, we got Dan from Dedunking also coming in who had a heat stroke outside.

• 32:36Duncan Trussell?

  Really?

• 32:37Kurt Metzger?

  I'm surprised Blade didn't kill him. He was at Tard with his shirt off or something and no shoes.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  I tried to, but he bit me.

• 32:44Duncan Trussell?

  Is that, that stops a vampire?

• 32:46Kurt Metzger?

  Dan Richards will get you.

• 32:47Speaker 03

  You just don't wanna get bit by nobody. I don't give a fuck if you dead or alive. That shit hurt.

• 32:51Duncan Trussell?

  It does.

• 32:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, that's a fact.

• 32:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, a lot of disease in the fight.

• 32:56Kurt Metzger?

  Why am I looking?

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Chinese people staring into my eyes, trying to match my smyes.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Once I, oh, oh, 'cause I can freestyle. I can freestyle poetry.

• 33:10Kurt Metzger?

  Please do.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Trayvon Martin in the afterlife.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Hoodie, oh my god, don't make me get my knife.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  I see it in your eyes, you want my blood, but you can't, cuz.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  Cuz. Crip, blood, blood, crip. Ah, okay. Chin, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Steven Busimi, who is he really? Adam Sandler's friend or a night walker trying to get him? Trying to get him?

• 33:52Duncan Trussell?

  Great.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Dressed in all black, like a ghetto ghost.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Oh my god, where is Jeff Ross? We need to roast Barack Obama?

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Is he Islamah or is he black? I don't know. Let me see your birth certificate.

• 34:16Duncan Trussell?

  Incredible.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-do, Kim Jong-3. I don't know, my friend, who is he really?

• 34:27Duncan Trussell?

  These are-

• 34:29Speaker 03

  Come on, man. PJ, mi huevos, mi own huevos, I love it. I don't-

• 34:37Kurt Metzger?

  We don't have to put Megan the Stallion up just because we spoke about her earlier.

• 34:41Duncan Trussell?

  This is incredible.

• 34:43Kurt Metzger?

  Look, he looks like he just saw that picture of Megan the Stallion.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Kim Jong-un, I cannot see, 'cause my eyes look like these. Barack Obama, I love you, you are the first black prince of teen. Sade, no, Blade, I would fuck my own sister if she was she.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  I love your forehead, it is big and white, like my Jack Eat.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Can I get finger snaps for encouragement, please? Come on, keep it, keep it going. This, this is my outro. Um, um, um, old school Klansmen.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  The very first of their kind, it doesn't matter. Martin Luther King, I am the prince, but I got my ass chaps covered up because I am not the artist formerly known as Emmy.

• 35:47Speaker 03

  On the balcony with my friends, just trying to preach the gospel.

• 35:53Speaker 03

  And then all of a sudden, a hater from across the street, Osama bin Laden. Yeah, we been knowing.

• 36:01Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Osama bin Laden. No, you lying, my brother. Wrapping my hair with toilet tissue, 'cause I ran out of rap. Who is this white bitch that's

• 36:15Speaker 03

  with a great smile and quartet's tats? Smile across the, smiling, uh, switch, switch it. Holiday. What's your favorite holiday?

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Who, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, oh, uh-oh. Robotic voice, robotic man. I used to know a lady who used to live down the street who used to talk like him. Elon Musk.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Well, I don't, I don't attack billionaires.

• 36:48Kurt Metzger?

  These are the first trillionaires, supposedly.

• 36:50Duncan Trussell?

  Trillionaire.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. Trillionaire, trillionaire. Stab him with one of these, he will still live, it don't matter. Can I have a Tesla, if you're watching this? A free Tesla? Who is this? Who is this?

• 37:04Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, Jisleen Maxwell. Jisleen Maxwell's dad.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  That's, that's her dad?

• 37:09Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Go get him, girl. Go get him, girl. Get me some. Have another, babe. Yoda, Yoda.

• 37:20Speaker 03

  Go, go bring that archaeologist's guy in here.

• 37:22Duncan Trussell?

  All right.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  Get that archaeologist's guy in here.

• 37:25Kurt Metzger?

  First of all, Blade, thank you.

• 37:26Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, Blade. That was beautiful.

• 37:28Kurt Metzger?

  I, I don't know.

• 37:38Duncan Trussell?

  God bless you, Blade.

• 37:39Kurt Metzger?

  Blade is very graceful.

• 37:41Duncan Trussell?

  Be safe out there.

• 37:42Kurt Metzger?

  Blade, if, if you're on hand, just for, uh, hang out for me, 'cause I wanna bring you down, but if you may have other, uh, slam poems to wrap this up with.

• 37:50Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 37:52Kurt Metzger?

  We might have to bring you in for slam poems. Actually, can we go take a poop?

• 37:58Duncan Trussell?

  You have to poop too.

• 38:00Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and then, is it possible to just have, like, another chair?

• 38:05Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean, have them both here?

• 38:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, or him close by.

• 38:08Duncan Trussell?

  I say we bring him back and just like, you know what I mean? I don't know. What do you, your instincts are pretty good with this shit. I don't know, man. I would love to hear him just talk about giants, though.

• 38:18Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, no, I, I, but I still want him to do a slam poem. Let's go have a poop.

• 38:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I'll figure it out. Whatever. I'm good with either one, man. Whatever you say.

• 38:25Kurt Metzger?

  We gotta poop.

• 38:31Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god. Alright, uh, finally here's the Callahan thing now that we're done with, uh, Blade's poems for the time being. I, I, I enjoy them, but I want to give him time to ponder a good one for the end as opposed to, uh-

• 38:44Duncan Trussell?

  He's a real talent.

• 38:45Kurt Metzger?

  I wouldn't make him do flashcards. He's too great of a poet.

• 38:48Duncan Trussell?

  It is interesting how people, some people, I guess you would call him in Hollywood a multi hyphenate. Like he's a vampire. He's a killer, but he's also a poet.

• 38:56Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, he, uh, it's, it's still not clear to me who he kills and throws in the lake. He said he went to prison for it. I honestly wasn't comfortable with it the whole time. Tanner says we're good on this one. I don't know how that's possible.

• 39:10Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sure you can't let your fear get in the way of a good interview, man.

• 39:13Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I don't, I don't know how that's possible. Um, okay. So this is the Andrew Callahan thing that you were trying to show me. Let's take a look real quick.

• 39:21Speaker 06

  Like over a year, over a year, same size, man.

• 39:24Speaker 07

  Have you attempted to get any like healthcare?

• 39:26Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't that fucked up?

• 39:27Speaker 06

  Uh, official, you know, but, um, I do take care of it. Clean gas, soap and water.

• 39:33Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 39:34Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, I, I have a question.

• 39:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 39:38Kurt Metzger?

  When's Andrew Callahan gonna get his skin fixed?

• 39:42Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, here's a question we've been asking, uh, Channel 5 is loser. Yo, you're pretty famous now, dude. Maybe get some fucking cock and, you know?

• 39:52Kurt Metzger?

  It's not a big deal, but I just, it's weird to be like, still look like a pimply faced kid.

• 39:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. I, look, I mean, it's stressful.

• 39:59Kurt Metzger?

  If you were a cholo, I could overlook it. If you were some kind of South American cholo, okay, there's gonna be some pineapple faced dudes in that lifestyle.

• 40:08Duncan Trussell?

  What are your thoughts on the stars people have been putting on their pimples? What are your thoughts on that?

• 40:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I was unaware of that.

• 40:14Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up-

• 40:15Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, hold on. Uh, but this is why I want to ask you about Callahan. Because didn't he get fired? Tanner knows about this shit. But just put up a picture of Callahan.

• 40:23Duncan Trussell?

  I think Callahan did get canned for something.

• 40:25Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Tanner says he knows.

• 40:27Duncan Trussell?

  Tanner, what happened?

• 40:28Kurt Metzger?

  Come out here and tell us before we bring out Dan. Yeah, and we just leave it. Wow. He looks like a young Tiny Tim.

• 40:37Kurt Metzger?

  You know, if he had, Tanner now- Oh my god. Always the wigger, this kid. Okay, Tanner, um, wha-

• 40:48Kurt Metzger?

  These two gals that I'm having a podcast with. Alright, sorry. Just everybody's, just very strange. It's like an ecumenical convention of some kind. Clearly CIA, even though I've never been in the CIA.

• 41:00Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah.

• 41:01Kurt Metzger?

  Now, uh, tell me about this guy Andrew Callahan who, ooh, that's busting, that hair.

• 41:09Speaker 07

  That's not, that's not him.

• 41:11Kurt Metzger?

  No, but he's got nicer skin.

• 41:13Speaker 07

  Yeah, he has way nicer skin than that.

• 41:15Kurt Metzger?

  Now, why did Andrew Callahan get cancelled? I kind of understand it, but I don't also.

• 41:19Speaker 07

  A lot of girls were, he almost got cancelled. A lot of girls were claiming that he just had this like, where my hug at energy that was just too heavy and too persistent.

• 41:28Kurt Metzger?

  Where my hu- so he's a, he got cancelled for being a hug rapist? Is that a thing?

• 41:34Speaker 07

  No, like, um-

• 41:35Kurt Metzger?

  We got sex pest?

• 41:36Speaker 07

  Just kinda, yeah, just kinda asking for it a little too much. Just wearing him, wearing him down.

• 41:41Kurt Metzger?

  The guy's an interviewer.

• 41:42Speaker 07

  Wearing him down. Yeah.

• 41:43Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, like a good interviewer would.

• 41:45Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's just doing his job. So the girls, they just got kinda mad at it.

• 41:48Kurt Metzger?

  What do you think about, um, I remember reading it and it seemed like all horse shit and nothing came of it. And it happened after he went to January 6th and said it wasn't how everybody was saying.

• 41:58Duncan Trussell?

  No shit.

• 41:58Kurt Metzger?

  Remember that?

• 41:59Duncan Trussell?

  No, I didn't know that proceeded it.

• 42:01Kurt Metzger?

  I want to ask him that real bad. I mean-

• 42:02Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 42:03Kurt Metzger?

  Skin jokes aside, like, I would like to ask him that.

• 42:06Speaker 07

  We can try to get him in here.

• 42:07Kurt Metzger?

  Can we?

• 42:08Speaker 07

  I'll try, yeah, I can try.

• 42:09Kurt Metzger?

  I would love to ask him because I think Heidegger is a straight up for real Satanist, like Alex Jones says. And I think that New Onion thing sucks ass that he does. Through the fucking thing of Infowars where he goes, fu- I mean, dude, it's just not funny. It'd be funny if you made up your own thing, but winning in an unfair lawsuit against somebody to take their thing.

• 42:30Duncan Trussell?

  Also, I think the biggest problem is like Alex Jones is, is funnier. Like he is funny. So it's like you're trying to satirize something that's already-

• 42:37Kurt Metzger?

  Doug Pound is the talent of that. That's the bottom line. It's not, but although Heidegger, I like him, dude, it makes me laugh when he does like New Amato.

• 42:48Duncan Trussell?

  What's New Amato?

• 42:49Kurt Metzger?

  The guy running for fucking office in Lake Havasu. Also, Lake Havasu, hugely satanic area. So that's, alright Tanner, you can go. I'm sorry.

• 42:57Duncan Trussell?

  Thanks Tanner.

• 42:57Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 42:58Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't mean to get you out of the booth. You can get back to watching a hip hop cipher, whatever you little wigger kids do.

• 43:03Duncan Trussell?

  Also, we gotta get Alex on here, man.

• 43:06Kurt Metzger?

  I know. It's been a while.

• 43:07Duncan Trussell?

  What happened with that? I thought we were gonna do that.

• 43:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, we'll get to it. I, I, I would like to have that happen soon. Okay, uh, we have to just keep hammering Alex for, come on. Uh, alright, let me bring out Dan. So Dan got heat stroke outside. Dan from the, you like the D dunking channel?

• 43:22Duncan Trussell?

  I haven't seen it yet. I've heard about it from you, but I haven't seen it.

• 43:25Kurt Metzger?

  Well, Rogan watched it and had him on. And, um, and Dan's the one that that piece of shit Flint Dipstick-

• 43:32Duncan Trussell?

  What is his name?

• 43:33Kurt Metzger?

  I call him Dipstick.

• 43:34Duncan Trussell?

  Flint Dibbler.

• 43:35Kurt Metzger?

  Flint, yeah, Flint Dibbler.

• 43:37Duncan Trussell?

  Is that really his name? What's his name? Flint Dibbler?

• 43:40Kurt Metzger?

  Flint Dibbler.

• 43:42Duncan Trussell?

  Flint Dibble.

• 43:43Kurt Metzger?

  He sounds like a Douglas Adams book character.

• 43:45Duncan Trussell?

  Sounds fucked up.

• 43:47Kurt Metzger?

  Flint Dibbler.

• 43:48Duncan Trussell?

  Flint Dibble.

• 43:49Kurt Metzger?

  Ooh, bring back Zaphod Rebelbrocks.

• 43:52Duncan Trussell?

  So here we are, uh, D dunking.

• 43:54Kurt Metzger?

  So let me bring Danny, cause he almost died on the way here or something. I don't know, he ran into Blade.

• 43:59Duncan Trussell?

  Come on in, man.

• 44:00Kurt Metzger?

  Dan, thanks for being here.

• 44:01Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, thanks for coming on, Dan. Good to see you.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  No offense, I, I, no offense to Tanner. I always do this when somebody dressed like that gets out of a chair.

• 44:11Kurt Metzger?

  Because the hip hop lifestyle is violent and Tanner's balls deep in it.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Exactly, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. It has nothing to do with the burka.

• 44:19Speaker 07

  It's a shiesty.

• 44:20Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner's shiesty is too long. That's all I'll say.

• 44:26Kurt Metzger?

  He's got a full body shiesty, this guy.

• 44:30Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I was thinking about wearing a full burka because like, are you allowed to say racial slurs if you're, as long as you're wearing a full burka?

• 44:36Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, constitutionally.

• 44:38Kurt Metzger?

  Cause like, you know how the glucose clan wears those white burkas and they say like whatever they want?

• 44:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 44:44Kurt Metzger?

  Right? But they had to put on a uniform to do it. Okay. So Dan, first of all, you got heat stroke. What were you doing? Excavating in the, uh-

• 44:51Speaker 03

  No, I just was sitting outside and, um, you know, um, trying not to get attacked by Blade because I was looking pretty homeless. I had my shirt off and my shoes off.

• 45:01Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you were so close.

• 45:02Kurt Metzger?

  That's the craziest part of this story is that Dan was waiting to come in and got, what? Oh, oh, you're not, you gotta talk to the mic.

• 45:11Duncan Trussell?

  You were within inches of ending up in Lady Bird Lake. You have no idea.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Oh man, yeah, I, I was. The, the only, you know, had I been sucking my own dick, he would have definitely took me out. But speaking of, next time you guys don't have to really pull up a video of that, you just wait and bring me out and I'll take care of that for you. If you're interested.

• 45:28Duncan Trussell?

  I would love to learn.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  It's, it's not hard.

• 45:31Kurt Metzger?

  No, we want to learn serious things here, okay?

• 45:33Duncan Trussell?

  That, oh, that's not serious.

• 45:35Kurt Metzger?

  Dick sucking jokes or your fucking-

• 45:37Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a joke.

• 45:40Speaker 03

  Well, you know, the, the heat stroke is, comes from-

• 45:42Kurt Metzger?

  There's a problem with me being here.

• 45:44Speaker 03

  What do we got here?

• 45:45Kurt Metzger?

  The mic is now not right because, there we go.

• 45:47Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, can you guys scroll down on his channel? Let's look at some of the videos here.

• 45:51Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Dan knows all about all the conehead people, um-

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, I talk a lot about the old, uh, long headed conehead guys.

• 45:58Kurt Metzger?

  So, everybody I think is familiar with, uh, ancient elongated skulls from cranial deformation?

• 46:06Speaker 03

  Artificial.

• 46:07Kurt Metzger?

  You look like that shit. And what, what do you say? Like, what, how, what, what do you?

• 46:11Speaker 03

  Well, there's, uh-

• 46:12Kurt Metzger?

  Brief us.

• 46:12Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up a picture of a conehead real quick? Or the, like, what's the name for that?

• 46:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, artificially modified skull.

• 46:18Duncan Trussell?

  Artificially modified skull.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, if you get the ones from the Pacific Northwest, look, uh, those ones are the really cool ones. But like that one right there, the Atlas Obscura one, it's not too crazy.

• 46:31Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  Those ones were getting mistaken for Neanderthal skulls and Cro-Magnon skulls and shit like that for a while. So, uh, it seems to- Yeah, it's, and, and it's probably, we're trying to emulate that, right? But, so it seems to me like these, these really goofy ones, you know, who knows what they were. But what's really, to me, what's ultimately the craziest about it is that when Rockefeller got wind of those wings down in Peru in the 30s, he goes down there, buys five bundles.

• 46:59Kurt Metzger?

  Which Rockefeller is this?

• 47:01Speaker 03

  Uh, Nelson.

• 47:02Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  So he gets, uh, five grave bundles.

• 47:04Kurt Metzger?

  Eagle about the night?

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Oh, thank you. He gets five grave bundles, right?

• 47:07Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  And, uh, each one of them has, uh, those elongated skulls inside. He buys all these for three grand and this guy was getting 300 a year, the guy Tello that was in charge of those was getting 300 a year to, uh, to take, uh, take care of all these. So he gives them three grand and he leaves with five bundles. We don't know what, we don't have pictures of those skulls. We don't have measurements of those skulls. We don't know where they are now. They were supposedly repatriated. Um, all I'm saying is, let, let's just put it this way. If one of those skulls had three eyes and giant fucking horns, do you think Rockefeller left or took it?

• 47:44Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  That's, that's what really is up here is we know we don't have the best. And this is consistent.

• 47:49Kurt Metzger?

  So archaeology as a whole though, I mean, really the science of it, as far as I can tell, is mainly to cover up stealing a bunch of people's shit from, uh, colonial oligarchs.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean, the, the field of archaeology actually started, you can Google it even, and it started from antiquitarians collecting shit.

• 48:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  And then being like, I wonder what order these go in. So it's a bunch of guys that collect baseball cards decided they thought we're gonna make it a science.

• 48:17Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, you know how Pokemon card collectors are cool as adults?

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:21Kurt Metzger?

  Imagine even cooler than that.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  Some of the best fights you'll see on the internet between people that don't know-

• 48:26Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, let's see, a Flint, um, Dibbler, uh, wait, is it, that's not his name.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  No, his name's Flint Dibble, but-

• 48:32Kurt Metzger?

  That's not better? That's like a lateral move.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, well, you know, I mean-

• 48:36Kurt Metzger?

  Now, what was his beef with you?

• 48:38Speaker 03

  No, well, he debated Joe, or he debated Graham on the Joe Rogan experience and he was full of shit, lied about a bunch of stuff and I called him out on it. And so since then, he's been completely forced.

• 48:49Kurt Metzger?

  Can you go on Wikipedia and just see his, I want to know his background. No, don't put, why would I-

• 48:56Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 48:57Kurt Metzger?

  If you didn't already have a burka on, I'd tell you to put burka on right now.

• 49:00Duncan Trussell?

  His research focuses on foodways in ancient Greece and whose science communication promotes the field of archaeology and debunks pseudo archaeology.

• 49:10Kurt Metzger?

  So that's fake archaeology. I don't understand why Rockefeller's, by the way, or why we have, or Carnegie, which one is it? Which one of those fucking men who built America, uh, came up with, we're, we're gonna call it pseudoscience? That's some like flowery insult from some guy in the seventeen hundreds that they marketed as, it's like just saying fake science, but it's, that's from Rockefeller.

• 49:33Duncan Trussell?

  It's like uncertified research.

• 49:35Kurt Metzger?

  They own the whole, they own the science and the fake science and the fucking, that's how you do it if you're rich. You get all the real estate. So, okay, and Flint Dibble is, is a suck up to that because I'm guessing he's an institutionalist, fucking Asperger nerd. They're breeding him like this on purpose. Let me be conspiratorial. And again, I was never in the CIA. I'm not currently. There's no grounds to say that. So.

• 49:59Duncan Trussell?

  You do travel a lot.

• 50:01Kurt Metzger?

  I, I have to leave this week, actually.

• 50:02Duncan Trussell?

  Where are you going?

• 50:03Kurt Metzger?

  Talk about it. Okay.

• 50:05Duncan Trussell?

  You going to Africa?

• 50:08Duncan Trussell?

  Weird how I just guessed that.

• 50:13Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 50:16Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 50:17Kurt Metzger?

  Africa's a continent. It's a big place.

• 50:20Duncan Trussell?

  So you are going to the continent of Africa?

• 50:23Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, technically, maybe.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  Will you be a pseudo African when you get there?

• 50:29Kurt Metzger?

  No, I get, I, I, I smoke, uh, what's that zabrac shit? You know, you can only get Quaaludes in South Africa now?

• 50:35Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 50:35Kurt Metzger?

  Oh shit, I'm going to South Africa.

• 50:36Speaker 03

  Wait, what? You can still get Quaaludes in South Africa?

• 50:38Kurt Metzger?

  Mandrakes.

• 50:39Duncan Trussell?

  How many languages do you speak?

• 50:42Kurt Metzger?

  Almost none.

• 50:44Kurt Metzger?

  I have three quarters of one language.

• 50:49Duncan Trussell?

  All right, look, I, I.

• 50:51Kurt Metzger?

  I wanna see who the fuck this guy is.

• 50:52Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, let's scroll.

• 50:53Kurt Metzger?

  Talking shit to my friend Dan, who was just outside the parking lot with no shirt and shoes.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  I was just, so it's homeless, man. Nobody, nobody even gave me any change, dude.

• 51:02Duncan Trussell?

  But why was he talking shit to you?

• 51:04Speaker 03

  Oh, cause he's mad because I called him out for lying about a bunch of shit when he was on Rogan and like the scientific lies, not like you're hiding stuff kind of, you know, anybody.

• 51:13Kurt Metzger?

  Go down, go down, go down. Sorry. Wait, wait, go down, wait, wait. Go down, go down one more. Right there. A refutation. What is that? Of Flint Dibble. Oh, and that's fucking horseshit.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  Defensive Graham Hancock.

• 51:24Kurt Metzger?

  Who was that hot girl with him?

• 51:26Speaker 03

  Oh, he's, that's his, that's his wife.

• 51:28Duncan Trussell?

  But wait, what are the lies? What are the lies he told?

• 51:32Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, look at this. I can't believe I'm married to this guy. That's fucking Chloe's, I think, is that the Lebranche house? Hit that.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Hell, I don't know.

• 51:41Kurt Metzger?

  Never misopposed. Um, yo, I, I think that's the Lebranche house. That's, you know, Chloe? News for Women, I used to do with her. She's a comic, Chloe Lebranche. Anyway, uh, that's her family.

• 51:54Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no, sure.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 51:55Kurt Metzger?

  I forget it. Yeah, that's.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  She's funny.

• 51:58Kurt Metzger?

  Why is he at a haunted house with his fucking, uh, piece of, hot piece of Dibble? Uh, I mean, not that great. Fine. I don't wanna raid his wife's house. Look, this isn't about how hot his wife is. I'm proud of him.

• 52:10Duncan Trussell?

  How did we get here? I wanna hear about fucking cone heads.

• 52:14Kurt Metzger?

  Because this guy, you gotta keep in mind, whatever you talk about with Dan here, this motherfucker is gonna have a lot. Oh, there's his dad. He's a, he's gonna have a real problem with it.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  Yep. He, he hates me. Well, one of the things that, for example, Duncan, he, uh, lied about the metallurgy in the ice cores. Um, the way they find, uh, traces of metallurgy in the ice cores is they'll look for spikes in lead, but they'll also look for isotopes that, um, align with the archaeological site. No archaeological site, they don't look for the isotopes for the lead in the ice cores because they assume there's nothing there.

• 52:52Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  So he goes on and says that they've debunked this, um, proven that there's no, uh, none of this at all, none of these signatures. And there's actually lead spikes in the ice cores consistently. Um, they're attributed to global warming, but the fact is, is that he just bullshit his way through it. The, the one that was most blatant is, was he's accused Graham Hancock of being a racist numerous times. And then when Joe tried to hold his speech.

• 53:14Kurt Metzger?

  What does that have to do with anything?

• 53:15Speaker 03

  Well, it, here's the thing is if we're discussing big rocks and, uh, you know, you're, you're winning the discussion. Well, I'm just gonna call you something, right?

• 53:22Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that, what, he's making this leap. This is what's so strange for a guy to be dressed like a Reddit moderator and be doing this. Okay?

• 53:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:30Kurt Metzger?

  Um, he's making these leaps that you're into like Madame Blavatsky theosophy because this thing you just said about lead and the, like.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 53:39Kurt Metzger?

  So, so that means he's trained to go after that. And it's very projecty. Do you know what I'm saying?

• 53:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 53:45Kurt Metzger?

  Um, now I know, now I'll tell you this, that, what I, who's the guy for who just died from Gaia, Duncan? Um, with the big head and, and he looked like, uh, Tim Heidecker in the billion dollar movie when he had the tan and the big teeth.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  I don't know. I can't think of his name.

• 54:00Kurt Metzger?

  From Gaia.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  I know you're talking about.

• 54:03Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, blonde hair. James Love, James, uh, no, not him. Who?

• 54:08Kurt Metzger?

  The fuck?

• 54:09Speaker 03

  No, no, not him.

• 54:10Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, man dies from Gaia. That's really.

• 54:14Duncan Trussell?

  Died while collecting octopus.

• 54:16Kurt Metzger?

  That's not the guy. Okay. Come on. We, Gaia channel, uh, uh, he had blonde hair and he was David something.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Something. Yes, thank you. Um, blonde hair, kind of.

• 54:27Kurt Metzger?

  David Wilcock.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  There you go. David.

• 54:29Kurt Metzger?

  The thirteenth missing scientist.

• 54:31Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, fuck.

• 54:33Kurt Metzger?

  You know, the scientist went missing. There we go.

• 54:36Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, yeah.

• 54:36Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, he does look like Heidecker in his, in his fucking billion dollar movie.

• 54:40Duncan Trussell?

  Larry.

• 54:42Kurt Metzger?

  So he quit Gaia and had a letter of, um, like protesting his guy while he quit. Gaia is some kind of cult. The channel itself. I don't mean like, you know, I mean, like, apparently what I was told is that it's a cult, like they're in a religion. Uh, he wrote in his resignation letter that, uh, Graham Hancock is an open Luciferian. Now, Madame Blavatsky was, cause you know, Lucius trust Duncan.

• 55:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 55:10Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, they're gonna, they don't think Lucifer is the devil. Keep this in mind.

• 55:14Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 55:14Kurt Metzger?

  They think it's like Prometheus or, uh, it's an impulse and not a guy. Okay. And so, uh, the fifth root race or whatever shit that, that Flint Dibble is very afraid will, will be thawing out of the Arctic ice by his speech. Why does Flint even know about that much of it to complain? Like, there's something weird about his whole setup.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  It's their whole, their whole shtick, for whatever reason, archaeology, especially in America, has this weird hard on for pushing against anybody who isn't in line with them. And it gets really fucked up. Like.

• 55:49Kurt Metzger?

  Because you control fucking reality if you can be in charge of it.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  And I, thank you. And I honestly, honestly think a lot of it has to do with, um, the fact that archaeologists fucking know that they're not doing science, right? It's like, uh, you, you do science with the carbon data, you do science with the stratigraphy. At the end, you put all this together and you make up a story. That's history.

• 56:07Kurt Metzger?

  That's what they think the science is agreeing.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 56:10Kurt Metzger?

  They think that is what the, and that's a very, and I mean, that's a lot of that going around.

• 56:14Speaker 03

  If two archaeologists both believe in Harry Potter, they'll peer review papers on Hogwarts till the end of time. Nothing to stop. That right there tells you, if that's science, well, fucking buddy, I do science every night.

• 56:24Duncan Trussell?

  But what, he thinks.

• 56:25Kurt Metzger?

  I don't think we need to attack peer review just because fucking Ghislaine Maxwell's dad invented it.

• 56:30Duncan Trussell?

  He thinks they wanna control reality. But what do you think is the reason?

• 56:34Kurt Metzger?

  That's why you control history.

• 56:35Duncan Trussell?

  Well, is it controlling history? I've heard that it's because their careers are riding on it and they're worried they're gonna lose funding.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Well, you get all, you get all the different things together.

• 56:44Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, that's part of reality.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  It's, it, it, some people, like the elongated skulls, there's definitely a cover up going on. There's a, a map from the nineteen thirties that shows all the elongated skulls in the world. And there's a map from twenty sixteen and the map in twenty sixteen is missing a shitload of information that the one eighty years ago had. There is active cover up going on.

• 57:03Kurt Metzger?

  It's been redacted.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  Dude, you, you go, there's tons of places. The island of Nui had elongated skulls. If you Google, it'll tell you that it didn't. Uh, fucking, um, bunches of places that had elongated skulls that have been repatriated or stuffed in a museum that they won't show anybody.

• 57:17Duncan Trussell?

  Why?

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Be, fucking, I don't really don't know. But then the guys that are, it's part of their job. It's like, um, you know, it, you just kind of fall into your spot and you do what you're told. If a guy goes to Egypt and he's like, I'm gonna review these weird things that all the archaeology, that all the pseudo archaeologists are into. Now, he's either gotta have a predetermined opinion, which then he ain't doing science, or he's gonna fucking run afoul of his buddies. And this is consistent. It's been happening in America for a hundred years. They're ruining careers left and right over people. Just like what Flint did to me. He went to scientists. He went to the guy. I talked to an ice core specialist for an hour on a Zoom chat. Soon as Flint got wind of that, he crawled right up that dude's ass.

• 57:56Kurt Metzger?

  And what happened?

• 57:57Speaker 03

  The, the guy retracked it for a bit till I recently uploaded a short that got the ice core specialist to change his tune again, but.

• 58:03Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, so you have evidence of what you talked about? Cause you recorded it?

• 58:06Speaker 03

  Well, I wasn't allowed to record the Zoom call. I, I, he asked me not to and I did, I honored him. But yeah, if you scroll down just a hair of the, uh, yeah, that's, that short right there, Ice Core Scientist.

• 58:15Kurt Metzger?

  I had no idea. Listen, academics are the biggest pussies I've ever met. My, and I'm not even against them, but I just mean, the level of pussy it teaches you, they are like crate trained fucking, uh, vaginas. Do you understand? Like, I mean, uh, I've never seen such, like, oh, I better not speak outside of my, my cage.

• 58:38Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 58:39Kurt Metzger?

  I, I know about this. I know, dude, I met a guy whose dad, they studies Flint, just Flint tools. Just Flint Dibbles.

• 58:48Kurt Metzger?

  Why are their cheeks so rosy red? He wonders. But anyway, he goes, like, they've they're enraged at the idea of Graham Hancock. I don't give a shit if he's a fucking Luciferian or whatever gay shit. Who cares? Why is he not allowed to talk about it?

• 59:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 59:03Kurt Metzger?

  Because the Nazis will rise again? Uh, Flint, I mean, yo, if you really care that deeply about genocide, there's one going on in Gaza. You could talk about your fucking queef. There's a real one right now. You could yap about instead of a theoretical one, because someone talked about Madame Fatslo Bovlatsky in your head too much.

• 59:22Duncan Trussell?

  It is. It is weird to do that kind of like, character assassination.

• 59:26Kurt Metzger?

  It means you're a shill and you're working for somebody. Now, he could just be a fucking suck up. Right? I mean, just based on how he's dressing, like.

• 59:34Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, he does get a lot of views for being the guy pushing back against.

• 59:39Kurt Metzger?

  If you, listen, I, I have no, I don't know how anybody has a political affiliation involving science of any kind. But because this is such a, a, a nation of substandard poisoned, uh, midwitt cattle at best, at the best of times. The kind of people that would let the Epstein files go and just move on. That's the kind of losers that live here. So. They're gonna be afraid of my cooeyo and I go, whoa, whoa, my god, and does that not a good look? What the fuck are you all talking about?

• 1:00:08Duncan Trussell?

  The Fauci trials. Did you watch them today?

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  No, I didn't.

• 1:00:11Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, holy shit. So he's pleading the fifth through the whole thing.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  Under the fifth amendment.

• 1:00:15Duncan Trussell?

  He's got presidential immunity, but this dude could have been responsible for the largest pandemic in the last thousand years.

• 1:00:25Kurt Metzger?

  They all work together. By the way, Trump's in on it. Same answer, same answer, same answer, same answer. That's why nothing's gonna happen to Fauci.

• 1:00:31Duncan Trussell?

  But that's what's crazy is here's someone who, who did gain of function research, told a bunch of lies, and speaking of ruining people's careers. Because of his shit, scientists who are coming out and like, in saying like, like, there's probably better ways to treat this. People who are recommending ivermectin.

• 1:00:49Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, look, look, look, look. He was repeated, he repeatedly invoked the fifth amendment. I thought he can't invoke the fifth.

• 1:00:55Duncan Trussell?

  No, that's the, well, that's the whole thing is like, you technically, you, you can't because you're already immune. So you don't need to do that. And that's why at the end of this.

• 1:01:04Kurt Metzger?

  Look at this framing, the scientist, the fuck you, who helped the nation, who helped lead the nation's COVID-19 response, which again, sucked ass. Was subpoenaed by, so this is why they want to fucking make sure you understand, it doesn't matter what was, here's, here's what this means, nothing. You can read it in the thing, under by Republican Senator, who's had a antagonistic relationship with Fauci, you know, like puppy faces and sand flies, they get along.

• 1:01:34Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you know.

• 1:01:35Kurt Metzger?

  This piece of shit. So, nothing will happen. This was a big, even Rand Paul is wasting your time. The people that wrote this are wasting your time. Flint Dibble, I promise you's like.

• 1:01:47Duncan Trussell?

  Well, that's what it's, I, I agree with you. Like, if it is true, the shit they're saying about him, he should be in jail. That's why he got the pardon. But in a, an advanced pardon, which is insane, but what was really like intense for me to watch this is here is. Like this dude pleading the fifth while the people now in the government are saying the things that if you said that shit.

• 1:02:14Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you'd have.

• 1:02:14Duncan Trussell?

  During the pandemic, your accounts will be canceled, you'd be deplatformed.

• 1:02:18Kurt Metzger?

  That's why.

• 1:02:19Duncan Trussell?

  T-Fat formed.

• 1:02:20Kurt Metzger?

  That's why I fucking chimp out. If someone says Rogan is compromised. Rogan's the only guy that was right the whole time and didn't give a fuck.

• 1:02:31Duncan Trussell?

  True.

• 1:02:32Kurt Metzger?

  What did you fucking do? Wear a mask?

• 1:02:35Duncan Trussell?

  But that's the crazy thing is that, you know, just what you're talking about, except in archaeology, this is what they're, well, the cool thing about him pleading the fifth. Is everybody was able to just to show.

• 1:02:45Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, this guy.

• 1:02:45Duncan Trussell?

  Videos, everybody's able to show all the examples of shit he said and then changed it of like, people getting ruined by him, asking about the Gates Foundation.

• 1:02:55Kurt Metzger?

  You see this? So remember when the blacks were too smart to get a fucking vaccine whilst they're in showbiz?

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  Six hundred thousand Americans.

• 1:03:01Kurt Metzger?

  He went around.

• 1:03:02Speaker 06

  Well, that, well, the, the number that you all giving that died.

• 1:03:05Kurt Metzger?

  This guy's right.

• 1:03:06Speaker 06

  Once again, that's you all's number.

• 1:03:08Duncan Trussell?

  You got pants.

• 1:03:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, definitely. Cause when you start talking about paying people to get vaccinated, when you start talking about incentivizing things to get people vaccinated, there's something else going on with that.

• 1:03:20Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Yes, there is.

• 1:03:24Duncan Trussell?

  But I'm glad millions of people like me and a most.

• 1:03:26Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, it was, it's a bioweapon. It was not, never.

• 1:03:31Kurt Metzger?

  This is a fucking irritating, to this day, fucking, oh, I was talking to Charlie from, he's not a Southvite no more. Yo, he thinks masks, masks worked. He thinks that they worked. He goes, no, I think, I go, okay. Would you like to see the evidence of it? And no, you don't. You're gonna just, okay. I don't know. No, they never. In fact, we've known they never worked the whole time. So why the fuck were they making, why are people still wearing them? Why did they tell you to do that at all?

• 1:04:01Speaker 03

  I think it was a psyop, the, the masks themselves, it, we had, there was three things they were pushing, the jab, lockdown, and the mask. Out of those three, they didn't give a fuck about the mask, but the mask is literally in your face.

• 1:04:12Kurt Metzger?

  How much of a bitch you are.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  Driving you up the fucking wall.

• 1:04:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  It's, they're, they're funneling your activism, they're funneling your outrage. There's like, don't, don't worry about the kids not going back to school. Don't worry about the businesses closing down. Don't worry about the jab. Get mad about the mask. Oh, you're not mad? Watch these people play with their instruments, with the mask that opens up. Does that make you mad? Something's gonna make you mad at these masks.

• 1:04:31Kurt Metzger?

  That made me horny.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  Well, I mean.

• 1:04:33Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it creates teams.

• 1:04:35Kurt Metzger?

  I bet I can have a slam poem about that one in my right blood day.

• 1:04:38Duncan Trussell?

  The masks create teams.

• 1:04:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yes.

• 1:04:39Duncan Trussell?

  So now you, you have this clear view of like, the people who are believing in the state and the current, whatever it is, and then people who aren't, and the people who weren't. Dude, and the, remember in the pandemic, if somebody wasn't wearing a fucking mask, I, I was in LA. Were you in LA when that shit was on?

• 1:04:55Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, it's like I walked in the store without a mask. I was like, oh my God, my face dick is out.

• 1:05:02Kurt Metzger?

  People acted like my full dick and balls were out. Oh my God, it's so embarrassing. It's like that nightmare from school.

• 1:05:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yes. Yeah. So it divided us.

• 1:05:11Kurt Metzger?

  And then when we were allowed to take them off, it felt like my pussy was out.

• 1:05:17Kurt Metzger?

  Like a light breeze would hit my lips. I'm like, oh, am I gonna get sick?

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  To circle back to Flint really quick, one of the funny things about this is they say that Graham makes people skeptical of. The medical profession. It makes people skeptical of all science.

• 1:05:32Kurt Metzger?

  Is his middle name Crackers? That'd be pretty cool.

• 1:05:34Speaker 03

  Graham Hancock.

• 1:05:36Kurt Metzger?

  Graham Crackers Hancock?

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  I believe he's British, so it's probably biscuits. But yeah.

• 1:05:41Duncan Trussell?

  Biscuits, that'd be amazing.

• 1:05:43Kurt Metzger?

  Sorry. Oh, Graham Bruce, uh, changed the crackers.

• 1:05:46Duncan Trussell?

  Biscuits Hancock.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  But, uh, Flint says that all of his stuff makes people skeptical of science in general.

• 1:05:53Kurt Metzger?

  Not the failures of the institution making me skeptical.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  How about this?

• 1:05:57Kurt Metzger?

  If, what a fucking rosy cheat.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  Quit conflating archaeology with science. Why don't you give us the real sciences on one pedestal and put your psychology and your archaeology and your fucking other soft sciences in another camp? And then, because Ben, you can't, you can't even compare these things to astronomy. Like, they'll, well, you can, you can do, uh.

• 1:06:16Kurt Metzger?

  Astronomy turns out they're not that great at, for example, the age of the universe. It turns out they're way off. Dude, the time I wasted trying to understand string theory, like when.

• 1:06:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:28Kurt Metzger?

  Cause, and only because on all them science shows, they would, it's all about that.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  How many hits of DMT did you take to understand it?

• 1:06:36Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, it's first of all, fucking stupid. It's not what the thing is. It was clearly a waste of time. The whole thing was clearly a waste of fucking time. Plasma physics, which I don't know shit about, are where the, all the shit's at.

• 1:06:48Duncan Trussell?

  But it's like, Dibbler has to.

• 1:06:51Kurt Metzger?

  The Dibbler?

• 1:06:51Duncan Trussell?

  Connect the, what he would call misinformation archaeology.

• 1:06:55Kurt Metzger?

  He's a political operative.

• 1:06:56Duncan Trussell?

  He's got to connect it to essentially eroding the foundations of science itself, as though science is doctrine. It, I, you know, it's science is something that's supposed to change.

• 1:07:07Kurt Metzger?

  Exactly.

• 1:07:07Duncan Trussell?

  To be challenged, to be investigated.

• 1:07:10Kurt Metzger?

  You don't believe in science. That's a thing you do with God. Science is a whole thing of going, wow, I don't trust you, show me.

• 1:07:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:17Kurt Metzger?

  So if you, if you recall, they didn't want to show you the science of the pandemic for seventy fucking years. They went to court. Look, I'm getting upset and, and I think it's taken away from the good news, which was he just merged our military with Israel.

• 1:07:32Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:07:35Kurt Metzger?

  Guys, we did it.

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  My son turns eighteen soon. I think me and him are going hunting and he's gonna lose a toe.

• 1:07:40Kurt Metzger?

  He, no, your son is go.

• 1:07:42Speaker 03

  He ain't gonna go fuck.

• 1:07:43Kurt Metzger?

  He's gonna lose a toe in Israel.

• 1:07:45Speaker 03

  He's gonna lose a toe for a gift to Israel.

• 1:07:47Duncan Trussell?

  I, I just wanted to say.

• 1:07:48Kurt Metzger?

  You can go with no toe. This is important.

• 1:07:50Duncan Trussell?

  What you, the work you did to make that merger happen, the trips you took all over the world.

• 1:07:55Kurt Metzger?

  Me and Clavicular. Can I tell you something?

• 1:07:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:58Kurt Metzger?

  Clav is not that cool.

• 1:07:59Duncan Trussell?

  Really?

• 1:08:00Kurt Metzger?

  You'd think he would be fucking awesome to go to Israel with.

• 1:08:02Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:03Kurt Metzger?

  If you could think of your number one dream trips in your life.

• 1:08:05Duncan Trussell?

  Clavicular.

• 1:08:06Kurt Metzger?

  Me and Clav, Tel Aviv.

• 1:08:09Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:08:10Kurt Metzger?

  The nightlife.

• 1:08:11Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:08:12Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, oh my God.

• 1:08:13Duncan Trussell?

  Floating in the Red Sea with Clavicular.

• 1:08:16Kurt Metzger?

  And, um, no, he actually kind of fucking sucks, dude.

• 1:08:19Duncan Trussell?

  What? How?

• 1:08:20Kurt Metzger?

  He keeps asking me about my, his nose. Oh, does my nose that? I go, dude, I'm not a fucking chick, Clav. I'm just here to support the great nation of Israel.

• 1:08:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 1:08:29Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not in for this gay shit you're into. I'm just here to make sure Israel sees a better tomorrow. That's all I care about, Clav.

• 1:08:35Speaker 03

  If you get too gay in your home.

• 1:08:36Kurt Metzger?

  We're supposed to be about Israel, Clav.

• 1:08:37Duncan Trussell?

  What? You're not in the CIA though, right?

• 1:08:40Kurt Metzger?

  And I've never been in the CIA. There's two things I'm passionate about.

• 1:08:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:43Kurt Metzger?

  Never been in CIA, okay?

• 1:08:45Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry to suggest it.

• 1:08:46Kurt Metzger?

  Israel is because of my love of Israel.

• 1:08:48Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:08:49Kurt Metzger?

  It's not to promote a fucking, you know, did the merger happen? It did. And I am happy. And you know what? As the CIA says, you never hear about their wins. You know, they only hear about the bad stuff, okay?

• 1:09:01Duncan Trussell?

  I've never heard that's what the CIA says.

• 1:09:02Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not even good enough to be in the CIA.

• 1:09:04Duncan Trussell?

  How do you know CIA sayings?

• 1:09:07Kurt Metzger?

  I've seen a movie.

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  It was on the beginning of the video games, or that was FBI, nevermind.

• 1:09:12Kurt Metzger?

  No, that was the DEA, and it was winners don't use drugs.

• 1:09:15Speaker 03

  And they were so lying.

• 1:09:16Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, can I ask you something?

• 1:09:18Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, it's the number one best way to win.

• 1:09:20Duncan Trussell?

  What? Like, if you had to, so, like, I, I, I love, I love Graham Hancock, and I loosely understand what he's pointing towards. But can you, can you, like, summarize what people like Dibbler are, are trying to, or inadvertently or intentionally concealing, like, this, this version of history? That so many people get in trouble for even barely exploring.

• 1:09:43Kurt Metzger?

  The white man was first created by God himself.

• 1:09:46Duncan Trussell?

  Right, go on, go on.

• 1:09:48Kurt Metzger?

  No, what, what, it's some Atlantis shit, am I wrong?

• 1:09:51Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, it's about Atlantis, but the thing that I honestly think where their, their cover up.

• 1:09:56Kurt Metzger?

  Atlantis Morissette?

• 1:09:57Speaker 03

  The opposition, Atlantis Morissette, that's where this man was chasing her. Um, you know, they, they end up, like, putting these kinds of, uh, these, kind of a framework that this is okay and this is not okay, and Egypt is a great example. You know, science does some goofy shit, and they, they draw weird lines in the sand, um.

• 1:10:17Kurt Metzger?

  Those are called equations.

• 1:10:18Speaker 03

  Well, for example, um, you know, they, back when science first started, they, they were going off about, uh, like, they were trying to prove the Bible. You were trying to find the flood, trying to find the-

• 1:10:29Kurt Metzger?

  And they did prove it.

• 1:10:30Speaker 03

  And so then, this, then they, they, about the same time as Darwin, some geologists started talking about how everything was slow, and so then it became gradualism instead of catastrophism.

• 1:10:40Duncan Trussell?

  Gradualism.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  And they took until the KT impact, which was over a hundred years later, until that was accepted in nineteen eighty, before they came up with what is called, um, what does it call it? Uh, punctuated equilibrium, which means, what any fucking retarded kid could see. Oh, look, sometimes the water erodes slow, sometimes there's a flood and it moves fast. It took science a hundred and twenty years to wrap its fucking head around that because they were pushing back and forth on shit.

• 1:11:06Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god, Flint's right, you are a racist.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  I'm so racist, dude.

• 1:11:09Duncan Trussell?

  Why are you a racist?

• 1:11:10Speaker 03

  Well, mostly because the, nobody looks like me.

• 1:11:17Speaker 03

  The dunking Dan is racist. Oh, you'll find that. It's so funny, there's people that, oh, let's see what we got here. Oh, faced area sound like, but there is no universal face.

• 1:11:29Kurt Metzger?

  Some trash in Dan Richards.

• 1:11:30Speaker 03

  Oh, boy.

• 1:11:30Kurt Metzger?

  Do they have anything about him not wearing a shirt or shoes in the parking lot?

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  Not yet.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  I am black, the way Dan describes the Colorado team makes me crazy.

• 1:11:41Duncan Trussell?

  What's the Colorado team?

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  I don't fucking know, dude.

• 1:11:43Duncan Trussell?

  It's a different, that's a different person.

• 1:11:45Speaker 03

  That must be a different Dan. Dan Richards is a pointless troll, that's what I've heard.

• 1:11:48Kurt Metzger?

  Are you troll, why, why would they say you're trolling? Oh, Professor Dave, no, he got mad.

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  This guy's an incest survivor.

• 1:11:55Duncan Trussell?

  Let's watch this, do you mind if we watch this?

• 1:11:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, it's an hour and seventeen minutes, that's why I won't get through it.

• 1:12:04Speaker 03

  Look at that right there, you're no different than a flat-earther.

• 1:12:07Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 1:12:08Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, seriously.

• 1:12:09Kurt Metzger?

  In one important way, you're not, you don't think the earth is flat, but other than that.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  Um, this Dave Farina guy, he's a-

• 1:12:17Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, no, he's a real, it's, he's a, not a shill of any kind of anything.

• 1:12:20Speaker 03

  This guy's lied about me, like, openly lied to the-

• 1:12:22Kurt Metzger?

  That's what shills do, these are all fucking constructs, every one of these stupid motherfuckers.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  Well, he's a dumbass and openly stated his intent to take down my channel, like, publicly, so-

• 1:12:31Kurt Metzger?

  Why is a guy who's, isn't his degree in, like, chemical engineering?

• 1:12:34Speaker 03

  It's just chemistry, he's just a chemist. He, he's a teacher, um, and it-

• 1:12:38Kurt Metzger?

  What, would he lose his job in Big Pharma to come in, but why, how would he fucking know if you're an ar- This is like when I watched-

• 1:12:44Speaker 03

  He got his info from Flint Dibble, which is, this is one of the most stupid things in the fucking world. He goes in there, he doesn't know anything. He said this on Danny Jones, he's like, I don't know a lot of the science that I cover, but I'll talk to experts. And I'll get their data and I'll put it out there. So you got a scientist that's been accused of lying. So he goes and takes and gets all of his data from that guy, makes videos, and he's like, oh, and it's like, man, you make it fish in a barrel to respond to the guy. It's just like, you're fucking bullshit here, you follow up what he said.

• 1:13:09Kurt Metzger?

  Scientists, I said this on Danny Jones, what's, what is a woman scientist? Please tell me what the fuck a woman is. I know that Mike, that fucking Michael Knowles was a real, not Michael Knowles, the other one, uh, who made that? The other, the guy who looks like he put on a fake beard to buy beer?

• 1:13:26Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what's that dude's name? What is a woman?

• 1:13:28Kurt Metzger?

  He made what is a woman, and he's a real jerk for that, I guess. Uh, but really, you can't answer that? And I'd like some, because I know we had that knowledge at one point, we had the scientific knowledge of what the fuck these things are.

• 1:13:40Duncan Trussell?

  Well, science changes.

• 1:13:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so, I would like to know, so, you know, I would like to know a concrete thing of what the fuck it is.

• 1:13:49Duncan Trussell?

  What is a woman?

• 1:13:49Kurt Metzger?

  Now, by the way, in Islam, which I'm radically Islamic, I hope that's clear, Tanner.

• 1:13:57Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, we know what a woman is, it's whoever's wearing a fucking burka. It's a wearable pronoun.

• 1:14:03Speaker 03

  It's a wearable pronoun.

• 1:14:05Duncan Trussell?

  Christ.

• 1:14:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, no surgery.

• 1:14:06Duncan Trussell?

  I think a woman is-

• 1:14:07Kurt Metzger?

  You can change your mind anytime, take off your burka.

• 1:14:09Duncan Trussell?

  A woman is soft, beautiful, and sweet.

• 1:14:11Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I don't know, I'm not her husband.

• 1:14:13Duncan Trussell?

  From her hair to her feet, I suckle her toes at night while she sleeps.

• 1:14:18Speaker 03

  In my experience, women just suck at four at night.

• 1:14:20Kurt Metzger?

  Blade, is Blade here? Oh, you have a mic?

• 1:14:27Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you could have been giving us a slam poem on this.

• 1:14:29Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:14:30Duncan Trussell?

  Can you do a slam poem titled, "What is a Woman"?

• 1:14:33Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god, that is, how did you get that picture?

• 1:14:37Duncan Trussell?

  You guys seem like you're having fun.

• 1:14:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, yeah, right after this dude, we went opposite directions. And then I got spit on by a couple of Jews, and, uh,

• 1:14:48Kurt Metzger?

  uh, I don't know what happened with him, he went off with some broad.

• 1:14:50Duncan Trussell?

  What are you drinking?

• 1:14:52Kurt Metzger?

  Um, that is, uh, uh-

• 1:14:54Duncan Trussell?

  Is that piss?

• 1:14:55Kurt Metzger?

  No, what's that fucking fruit? Ha- Hasbra fruit?

• 1:14:58Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, Hasbra fruit.

• 1:15:00Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, the one that's like thorny on the outside but soft in the middle?

• 1:15:03Duncan Trussell?

  Why is there a chairlift? Is there a chairlift over that lake you visited? What is that?

• 1:15:07Kurt Metzger?

  Where?

• 1:15:08Duncan Trussell?

  In the background there.

• 1:15:09Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, I don't know, I didn't go on any of that, I was just there.

• 1:15:12Duncan Trussell?

  What is that?

• 1:15:13Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I got, I got the fuck-

• 1:15:14Duncan Trussell?

  It seems like it's attached to like a rotting building. Seems dangerous.

• 1:15:19Kurt Metzger?

  I think it's like a gay club or something.

• 1:15:21Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 1:15:22Speaker 03

  That's why they don't do any renovations.

• 1:15:23Kurt Metzger?

  Building over there, and then there's like that one, there's like an air car.

• 1:15:26Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what is that, like a trampoline park back there?

• 1:15:29Kurt Metzger?

  This is, they airbrush a lot of this, I'm gonna be honest with you.

• 1:15:32Duncan Trussell?

  It looks airbrushed.

• 1:15:33Speaker 03

  I, I think that that area back there in the back is where, like, it's a nuclear target. It's like saying, please make this place go in the dark for ten thousand years.

• 1:15:40Kurt Metzger?

  That water didn't look like that, dude. Oh, look at tropical fish.

• 1:15:43Duncan Trussell?

  Why is there a city in the water?

• 1:15:44Speaker 03

  Well-

• 1:15:45Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know, it, it should be filled with salt and nothing.

• 1:15:48Duncan Trussell?

  How does that work? It looks like a city.

• 1:15:50Speaker 03

  Fuck it, we just found Atlantis live, holy shit. You stumbled onto it when you were in Israel and you didn't fucking tell me, it hurt, bro.

• 1:15:58Kurt Metzger?

  Is he standing on something? Because I know I'm taller than him.

• 1:16:01Duncan Trussell?

  Kind of fish, are you guys in a swimming pool, or what is that?

• 1:16:04Kurt Metzger?

  I know I'm taller than that guy, come on. I don't know, there's something up here.

• 1:16:09Duncan Trussell?

  He could be standing on something.

• 1:16:10Kurt Metzger?

  I'm no Flint Dibble, but I'm questioning the veracity of this science.

• 1:16:13Duncan Trussell?

  This picture is fucking crazy, I want, this, Israel looks incredible.

• 1:16:18Kurt Metzger?

  Blade, are you looking at this picture?

• 1:16:21Speaker 03

  Yes, I am.

• 1:16:26Speaker 03

  Like a voice of God.

• 1:16:30Speaker 03

  From afar, this man looks gay, if he's homeless, he would be dead, but he's not.

• 1:16:37Kurt Metzger?

  Blade.

• 1:16:38Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think, Blade?

• 1:16:41Speaker 03

  If you look real close, I'm, I'm in one of the mountains peering off at that, at that, um, Rod Pattinson looking motherfucker.

• 1:16:51Kurt Metzger?

  That's a clavicular, he's a looks maxer.

• 1:16:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'm in that group right there that he just circled.

• 1:16:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what is that?

• 1:16:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, see those people?

• 1:16:59Kurt Metzger?

  Were they spitting on you? They spit on you, dude.

• 1:17:02Speaker 03

  I'm in there searching for my next victim.

• 1:17:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, listen, I don't think that's a good place.

• 1:17:08Speaker 03

  I wanna suck his white blood.

• 1:17:11Duncan Trussell?

  Jesus.

• 1:17:12Kurt Metzger?

  Wait a minute, wait a minute, do you think blood is white? Tell me that's not.

• 1:17:16Duncan Trussell?

  He means Caucasian.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  His is vanilla frosting.

• 1:17:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I don't know, we're, oh.

• 1:17:24Duncan Trussell?

  Blade, that's crazy, you were there when that picture was snapped, are you saying?

• 1:17:28Speaker 03

  Yes, I was. And you didn't touch Atlantis either?

• 1:17:30Duncan Trussell?

  He's following you around.

• 1:17:32Speaker 03

  I'm following clavicular, cl- cl- clitoris around.

• 1:17:39Speaker 03

  Clitoris around. That's non-existent, my friend.

• 1:17:42Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, what do, but again, what, so what's the deal? They're trying to hide that civilizations get disrupted by cosmic events.

• 1:17:50Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, a lot of it's just because they'll have a timeline that they'll push back on so hard, like the, the carbon dating on the Great Pyramid, for example, it's like two hundred and fifty years older than the written record is. You'd think that that would be enough for them to look at it and be like, uh, instead, they get, they do all this Bayesian modeling stuff, which is normal, but they, in this case, they set it up-

• 1:18:10Kurt Metzger?

  What is this Bayesian modeling shit?

• 1:18:11Speaker 03

  Bayesian modeling is a type of mathematics where you repeatedly, you start with known information, and then you repeatedly modify it over and over and over again by prioritizing other information, and so you could, uh, Bayesian, I'll give you a real good example.

• 1:18:25Kurt Metzger?

  No, not Beijing.

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  Oh, Bay- Asian modeling?

• 1:18:28Duncan Trussell?

  Not Asian models.

• 1:18:30Kurt Metzger?

  There we go, Beijing modeling.

• 1:18:32Speaker 03

  I read, I'm, I'm as educated as the, a guy that sits naked out on your back forty, um, with his shoes and shirt on.

• 1:18:40Duncan Trussell?

  That was you surviving.

• 1:18:41Kurt Metzger?

  Look, look, look at this, but just, this is what irritates me about that, and this is why academics, this is why you suck so bad if you're an academic. I mean, maybe you're not, you know. Turning point, Sam Tripoli has some good, anyway. Uh, it's a statistical method that uses Bayes' Theorems to update the probability of a hypothesis as more data, so you're telling me you fucking adjust your model when you get more data?

• 1:19:04Duncan Trussell?

  That makes sense, though.

• 1:19:05Kurt Metzger?

  But already, the, the, it's always like trying to predict the future, it's not a, dude, why don't you just have a fucking principle, you dumb fuck?

• 1:19:13Duncan Trussell?

  Can I give you an example? My hypothesis is you're in the CIA. When I started chatting with you-

• 1:19:17Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, what's the probability though?

• 1:19:19Duncan Trussell?

  My probability was like twenty percent at the beginning of, but then, throughout the episode, many of the things you've said, I've added data, and now it's around ninety percent.

• 1:19:30Kurt Metzger?

  I wasn't usually calm-

• 1:19:31Duncan Trussell?

  Is that it? That's how it works, right?

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 1:19:33Kurt Metzger?

  I have to say, I wasn't usually calm about Blade admitting to multiple murders at the top of the show, that were not of vampires.

• 1:19:40Speaker 03

  CIA, no, I see through you.

• 1:19:45Speaker 03

  Watching me try to expose my truth. But man, you are wrong, I am not in the CIA.

• 1:19:53Speaker 06

  We supposed to be friends. Now just do that, man.

• 1:20:05Speaker 06

  Bladé.

• 1:20:09Kurt Metzger?

  He was introduced as a vampire hunter. I want to point that out.

• 1:20:12Speaker 03

  Well, you know, he's a good one, dude. Um, from what I've heard.

• 1:20:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, from what you've heard, he's not good at it. And he may be a vampire himself. I, that one never was clear, was it?

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  He sucks white blood.

• 1:20:25Kurt Metzger?

  And that's, sounds like jizz. I don't know what he's saying.

• 1:20:30Kurt Metzger?

  It just sounds like a, a deranged person who's armed with two very ugly looking knives.

• 1:20:35Duncan Trussell?

  He did say you suck blood out of your dick when you sell filet. So that would indicate he is confused, potentially come.

• 1:20:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, it's just white blood cells. They fight.

• 1:20:45Speaker 06

  I just want blood. I have a sickle cell.

• 1:20:52Speaker 06

  And I'm constantly searching for the right blood type.

• 1:20:55Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, that's the Reaper cell.

• 1:20:58Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, what, what, what were you saying? What were you saying?

• 1:21:00Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, look at this. Let's just check, uh, let's see, normal color, uh, white, like, uh, Duncan's beard color is okay.

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:21:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:10Speaker 03

  The ancient one.

• 1:21:12Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, it is.

• 1:21:13Kurt Metzger?

  Now, if it's my hair color, that's atypical.

• 1:21:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. I love you need a chart to know that if your come is green, something might be off.

• 1:21:23Kurt Metzger?

  It's cloudy. What if it's cloudy? That's, that's a ominous dick, uh, come weather.

• 1:21:28Speaker 03

  What if you come back to a sock like three weeks later and it's green then?

• 1:21:32Duncan Trussell?

  Then it's fine.

• 1:21:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:21:33Duncan Trussell?

  That's just mold.

• 1:21:34Speaker 03

  I'm asking for a friend, but.

• 1:21:35Kurt Metzger?

  We, look, we had a whole homunculus episode that just, uh, we got into this.

• 1:21:40Speaker 03

  A lot of our socks. Or a homunculus hole?

• 1:21:43Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, though, we had the number one, the number one expert on homunculi.

• 1:21:47Duncan Trussell?

  That was interesting.

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:21:50Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, yeah. And he goes, I'm not, I'm not that proud of it.

• 1:21:53Speaker 03

  It's not my proudest fat, but.

• 1:21:58Kurt Metzger?

  He's the one.

• 1:22:00Speaker 03

  Not that proud of homunculi.

• 1:22:02Kurt Metzger?

  It was like, oh, man, that is exactly what you would say if you were a dead on.

• 1:22:05Duncan Trussell?

  So wait, so that I, so what were you saying?

• 1:22:07Speaker 03

  All right, well, like, so they, to reconcile that problem with the written record says the pyramids were built here, the carbon dating says 250 years earlier. To reconcile that, they use that Bayesian modeling, however the fuck you pronounce it. And, uh, the problem is you get to prioritize information. So they say, well, we're going to prioritize the dates that are the closest to the completion of the edifice. So they, they fudge the data to pick, it's like this, if, if I say, we use Bayesian modeling and I say you owe me a hundred bucks and you say you owe me one dollar. And I say, well, we're gonna, we're gonna take the data that's higher numbers and value it higher. Then at the end, of course, you're gonna owe me money, right?

• 1:22:44Speaker 03

  That's, this is, it's no brainer shit. They just, they manipulate the data, um, in order to, some things like Egypt in particular. It's like they, they knee jerk against it. They will not.

• 1:22:56Duncan Trussell?

  But why? That's to me the most like scintillating, um, bit of the whole thing is, is, it's like, who, if it's not real, who gives a fuck? Why do these people come out of the woodwork and go crazy?

• 1:23:10Kurt Metzger?

  I'll tell you why. The Bayesian thing, because, okay, this is also a massive scam. Wait, go, go back to the top. Sorry, sorry. Okay, leave it there. Okay. So this is why they're using Bayesian modeling. That's why these dumb fucks never have to ask themselves if what they're saying is absurd. Such as, I promise you, Flint Dibble will not answer what a woman is scientifically, if I want to know. Okay? He won't even give an answer like, um, like, uh, uh, you know, it's, uh, whatever you want it to be. He'll, he'll just be like, how dare you?

• 1:23:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, what an asshole.

• 1:23:43Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. So environmental health scientists, like all of us, face a world of growing complexity. You mean because you're a liar? That's why. Answering complex research questions. See, the complexity is to Vaticanize this info. So that only people that speak Latin have access to certain info. And there's like this much valuable info, but it's there. Uh, but they only want you to see it with blinders on to all this other info that would, in like, okay. So look what this dickhead says. The best way to understand Bayesian modeling is through an example. Okay, that's great. That's a good idea. What? That's the best way?

• 1:24:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:18Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, an example. Great. Did you Bayesian model that thought? Because that's an amazing thought. Let's say we want to examine the risk of cardiovascular disease mortality across the United States at a fine geographical scale in groups exposed to a climate related stressor.

• 1:24:33Speaker 03

  Like sitting outside and with no shirt and socks and shoes on.

• 1:24:36Kurt Metzger?

  This is what pertains to Dan.

• 1:24:37Speaker 03

  Waiting to get bladed.

• 1:24:38Duncan Trussell?

  Literally is.

• 1:24:39Kurt Metzger?

  Like a period of elevated heat, uh, compared to those who haven't been exposed. Why are you doing that? Oh, wait, let me guess, without any Bayesian modeling, uh, really hot places or like fat drunks have a, a bigger problem there?

• 1:24:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's a tricky one.

• 1:24:55Kurt Metzger?

  Old people fucking, uh, don't do well in a really hot place. Oh, uh, anyway.

• 1:25:01Speaker 03

  It's science.

• 1:25:02Kurt Metzger?

  Why the fuck? Okay. Perhaps simple enough for someone with environmental health training. Shut the fuck up.

• 1:25:09Kurt Metzger?

  I wonder what? Look at his fucking face. I won't punch him. He's looking at it.

• 1:25:14Speaker 03

  I got your fucking training right here.

• 1:25:16Kurt Metzger?

  But what if we want that other elements, for instance, by looking at countries, counties within states to analyze the impacts of state specific climate policies? I want to fucking, I want Bladé to, to fucking give them the business.

• 1:25:30Speaker 03

  This guy does look gay as fuck, to be honest, so.

• 1:25:33Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm. Uh, but I want to analyze the impacts. There is never a need to analyze the impacts of state specific climate pol- policies, ever. On, uh, why? This is a scam. So this is like, how do I justify, uh, get draining money from a fucking source forever? Like, like, you know how Canada's filled with these, like the CBC and like tick ass fucking?

• 1:25:59Duncan Trussell?

  Cause like, this is a study that you need to get funded.

• 1:26:01Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, their healthcare pays for your suicide now. That's how much they suck.

• 1:26:04Duncan Trussell?

  That study, you would get, this is how you get paid. Like you come up with a study like that and then somebody gives you money.

• 1:26:09Kurt Metzger?

  So I need to come up with a whole idea of why a pee pee is actually a wee wee, using Bayesian modeling.

• 1:26:14Speaker 03

  This is a huge problem, uh, well outside of just science. I mean, I'd even say it goes into activism, it goes into.

• 1:26:20Kurt Metzger?

  It goes into politics?

• 1:26:21Speaker 03

  Labor unions even for fuck's sake. They were.

• 1:26:23Kurt Metzger?

  That's right.

• 1:26:24Speaker 03

  In the thirties, they were great, but then like you, you get what you, look, gay marriage is the best example. You get what you want.

• 1:26:30Kurt Metzger?

  They said it wouldn't hurt, but now look at us.

• 1:26:32Speaker 03

  You get gay marriage passed and a lot of activists that had been getting a paycheck for fighting for that, all of a sudden didn't have anything to fight for.

• 1:26:39Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:26:39Speaker 03

  So what do we end up with? Well, that, that's homophobic. That's homophobic. That's homophobic. Feminism's in the same boat, so we get air conditioning sexist.

• 1:26:46Duncan Trussell?

  It's just like when profit.

• 1:26:47Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I have to say though, in defense of the air conditioning being sexist, I keep my house at a very low temperature because I hate women.

• 1:26:54Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:26:55Duncan Trussell?

  Why? Why do you hate women?

• 1:26:57Kurt Metzger?

  That's the one thing I bond to with Clavicular about.

• 1:26:59Duncan Trussell?

  But why do you freeze yourself? It's like you're punishing yourself.

• 1:27:01Kurt Metzger?

  No, I, I like it nice and cold because I'm a real.

• 1:27:04Duncan Trussell?

  You run hot.

• 1:27:04Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god. I run hot. I'm a burly bear.

• 1:27:06Speaker 03

  You jumped in.

• 1:27:07Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that.

• 1:27:09Kurt Metzger?

  That, man, I don't remember you there. And I'm telling you, I was, I had my head on a swivel. Not because I'm in the CIA, but because I believe when you travel.

• 1:27:17Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't want to break it up. Like I thought you guys were vibing. I would have said something.

• 1:27:21Kurt Metzger?

  Bladé, were you, uh, could you, uh, riff something on this picture? I don't know what to make of it. Now it's Clavicular. He's a looks maxer. You familiar with looks maxing?

• 1:27:32Speaker 06

  Vacation, vacation with my mans in the back. It's all good. I got a pineapple schnapps.

• 1:27:45Speaker 06

  It's non-alcoholic. Don't worry. I'm not too drunk. I don't care if Clavicular is a hunk.

• 1:27:53Speaker 06

  I'm not gonna go there with my body and my mind. Did you know that my name is not short for blade? It's short for blood.

• 1:28:03Duncan Trussell?

  No, I didn't know that.

• 1:28:04Kurt Metzger?

  First of all, Bladé is not shorter than Blade. So there's one problem with that.

• 1:28:09Speaker 06

  That, that wasn't even a part of the poem. It was just, that's, that's a fact.

• 1:28:13Kurt Metzger?

  It's, it's the exact opposite of a fact, in fact.

• 1:28:16Duncan Trussell?

  Well, why don't we use Bayesian modeling to make it a fact?

• 1:28:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:28:20Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:28:20Speaker 03

  That's a good idea.

• 1:28:21Kurt Metzger?

  That's a great idea. That's something that everyone, including Flynn Dribbles can enjoy.

• 1:28:25Speaker 03

  That's, it's a Flynn.

• 1:28:26Kurt Metzger?

  I'm gonna Bayesian model, why the fuck all these dudes aren't getting their skin looked at once they have a little bit of notoriety?

• 1:28:33Duncan Trussell?

  How would you, look, I just, I feel like we're getting.

• 1:28:35Kurt Metzger?

  Come on Callahan, you survived to me too. You're not gonna get fucking.

• 1:28:38Duncan Trussell?

  Look, I, I believe.

• 1:28:39Kurt Metzger?

  A makeover?

• 1:28:40Duncan Trussell?

  I believe there's a huge pushback against this stuff. I just wonder why. It's like, it doesn't hurt anyone to believe.

• 1:28:47Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, it does. It leaves a Nazism.

• 1:28:49Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:28:49Duncan Trussell?

  But, but in real, is that, in reality, it doesn't do anything. Why do they get so upset?

• 1:28:55Speaker 03

  I, I think, I think, like, from the top, it's hard to say, but from the individual place, a lot of it, in all honesty, archaeologists know they're LARPing as scientists. They fucking know it.

• 1:29:06Duncan Trussell?

  It's just insecurity.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, it's a lot of it. I mean, if you, the society.

• 1:29:10Kurt Metzger?

  Think his outfit looks really sincere, Flynn Dribbles?

• 1:29:12Speaker 03

  Well, no, that's why I dressed, I dressed like a pseudo archaeologist today. That's actually why I got a shirt with the map of Texas on it. Because I think most of the archaeologists I've seen online are maps.

• 1:29:20Kurt Metzger?

  Do you usually just go barefoot everywhere like the guy from WeWork?

• 1:29:22Duncan Trussell?

  But it, it's just like, if you wanted to be an archaeologist, archaeologist, you can't say a lot of the stuff you're saying.

• 1:29:28Kurt Metzger?

  You'll get ruined.

• 1:29:29Duncan Trussell?

  You can't.

• 1:29:30Kurt Metzger?

  Will you go on that definition on pseudo archaeology?

• 1:29:33Speaker 03

  It's got my picture. Oh, it's got Graham's picture.

• 1:29:35Kurt Metzger?

  I want to see what it's defined as. Oh, Eric Von Daniken and Han Grahamcock.

• 1:29:40Kurt Metzger?

  Who, of, um.

• 1:29:43Kurt Metzger?

  Of pseudo archaeological opinion. Oh, I wouldn't want to have the wrong opinion.

• 1:29:47Duncan Trussell?

  Scientifically insubstantial theories this.

• 1:29:49Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look, it's sometimes called fringe and previously also called alternative. So we've, it's been bumped down to fake, consists of attempts to interpret, to study, interpret, or teach about the subject matter of archaeology while rejecting, ignoring, or misunderstanding the accepted data gathering and analytical methods of the discipline. So you didn't use the prescribed toolset to look at this problem, which we, that's fucking amazing.

• 1:30:20Duncan Trussell?

  Well, wait, also, it seems like part of it is, a lot of this stuff is wrapped up in Old Testament, and it feels like they don't want anything to confirm that, but like the worldwide flood myth. I thought.

• 1:30:33Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, look at this one. Yeah, the supposed.

• 1:30:35Duncan Trussell?

  Rise.

• 1:30:35Kurt Metzger?

  That's amazing, that one.

• 1:30:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, but yes and no. It's like, yes, there's a flood, not a biblical flood. And there's like so quick, well, there's not enough water on the planet. You'll get all this stuff about how it's not.

• 1:30:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, how about they don't know fucking shit?

• 1:30:48Speaker 03

  How about?

• 1:30:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, climate change.

• 1:30:49Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, let him finish, let him finish, let him finish.

• 1:30:51Kurt Metzger?

  It's killing my time.

• 1:30:52Duncan Trussell?

  We'll get you, we'll get you a ram home. Let him finish his point.

• 1:30:55Kurt Metzger?

  Five claw podcast.

• 1:30:59Speaker 03

  You're gonna end up fucking up back with fucking half naked, heat stroke.

• 1:31:03Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta take my pants off, it's hot.

• 1:31:05Duncan Trussell?

  Take your pants off, finally.

• 1:31:07Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, back to the dick side.

• 1:31:09Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, so, yeah, so flood myth, you're saying.

• 1:31:12Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, there's, there's definitely like raised sea levels and shit, massive amounts of water, swept away tons of stuff, you know, they, they get all, it honestly seems like to me that they, that there's a, two different camps on it. There's the one, the archaeologists in the mainstream, and then there's the people that kind of, the rich fuckers that are in the know, the Rockefeller's that grabbed the five best skulls. You mean, you know the Baghdad battery? You've heard of that?

• 1:31:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:38Speaker 03

  Okay, do you know where the Baghdad?

• 1:31:39Kurt Metzger?

  That was my old band.

• 1:31:40Speaker 03

  You know where it is right now?

• 1:31:40Duncan Trussell?

  It's really good, too.

• 1:31:41Speaker 03

  The Baghdad battery? The alphabet boys grabbed that in 2003.

• 1:31:45Kurt Metzger?

  The alphabet boys was my other band.

• 1:31:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, actually, the alphabet boys were, um.

• 1:31:49Kurt Metzger?

  It's my rap group, actually.

• 1:31:50Speaker 03

  Those were the, the guys that I serviced in jail, but.

• 1:31:54Kurt Metzger?

  Alphabet boys, you are talking about CIA or FBI or something?

• 1:31:57Speaker 03

  Just whoever the fuck showed up over there and invaded their, their museum first.

• 1:32:01Kurt Metzger?

  Now, I've heard some tell that it was, yeah, they had a uniform, but they were like French or something? I don't know, but.

• 1:32:07Speaker 03

  Let's put it this way, it wasn't a blue collar motherfucker that said, hey, go grab that battery. It was a rich motherfucker that's got it on his shelf. The anti-kithering mechanism, in my opinion, is next, right? You see the picture there?

• 1:32:18Kurt Metzger?

  But this battery.

• 1:32:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what is that?

• 1:32:20Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, this battery, he told me something very interesting about this. So I remember this, and I remember it going pretty quickly to Gaia, to, from like, they found it to it being Gaia science, and then it's Graham Hancock, well, not Graham Hancock, uh, the other guy, David.

• 1:32:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:36Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, and they're all going, oh, was this an electric thing, a battery? And it felt like it was being sorted in the sorting hat into the pseudo archaeology. But it is a real thing.

• 1:32:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:46Kurt Metzger?

  And then I, I never heard about it until you brought it up again just now, but you had a more interesting theory, I thought.

• 1:32:52Speaker 03

  Thank you, I appreciate it, yeah. Um, these are a galvanic cell, so that iron rod in the middle gets pitted, the copper tube part that is the cathode, that's going to, the anode, excuse me, it's going to collect, uh, if you use mine runoff, basically, to make a long story short, if you used for your electric light solution, acidic mine runoff that had like a lot of gold in it, that thing would over time separate out the gold, copper, mercury, and silver, and put it all over on.

• 1:33:22Kurt Metzger?

  What is mine runoff?

• 1:33:23Speaker 03

  Um, just, just the water runoff from a mine.

• 1:33:26Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:33:26Speaker 03

  So just like.

• 1:33:27Kurt Metzger?

  It's like the enema of a mine.

• 1:33:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. Well, they use a lot of water to, to get, even back in the day, they used a lot of water. So you'd end up with these puddles of acidic nastiness. Um, the thing is, is that because that metal thing gets, because the iron gets pitted, and the copper would accumulate all this gold on it, I think this is where people came up with the idea of alchemy. They're like watching one metal shrink and another one grow.

• 1:33:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:33:49Speaker 03

  But, um, anyway, this thing's on a rich dude's shelf, the anti-kithering mechanism, the next time somebody puts their fucking pants down.

• 1:33:55Kurt Metzger?

  What rich dude, or how do you, what do you mean by that?

• 1:33:57Speaker 03

  Um, I mean.

• 1:33:58Duncan Trussell?

  This isn't in a museum? Some guy bought it?

• 1:34:00Speaker 03

  It was stolen from 2003 from the Iraq museum.

• 1:34:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:34:04Speaker 03

  By our guys, our soldiers, right? And I'm, and so I don't think they took it home to put it on their shelf. I think they had orders to go grab that motherfucker. So it's on some rich dude's shelf.

• 1:34:13Duncan Trussell?

  Has anyone modeled this and tested it?

• 1:34:15Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They, they make electricity. They definitely do. It's, it's a galvanic cell.

• 1:34:20Kurt Metzger?

  But the thing, how much electricity?

• 1:34:22Speaker 03

  Not much.

• 1:34:22Kurt Metzger?

  See, that's why I think you're, you're hypothesizing, is that the right one?

• 1:34:26Speaker 03

  The hypothesis.

• 1:34:27Kurt Metzger?

  Cause you're, you, you have an electrical background, so that's why you know how to think about this like that.

• 1:34:32Speaker 03

  And, and, and here's something I want to point out with the overarching theme, what we're talking about here.

• 1:34:38Speaker 03

  A lot of these cocksuckers just debunk the thing, like, was saying, just, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Well, uh, why should I looking at it and thinking about it and, and, and, you know, shouldn't be some fucking dude that looks like a homeless guy that's dying in the back forty figuring this shit out? It should be, I don't know, a chemist like Professor Dave, but he's too busy going, oh, these guys are retarded assholes.

• 1:34:58Kurt Metzger?

  He's talking out of turn too, so why is he talking?

• 1:35:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wait, hold on a second. I, I want to defend you here for a second.

• 1:35:04Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:35:05Duncan Trussell?

  If we look, pull up Isaac Newton.

• 1:35:08Kurt Metzger?

  Isaac Newton was full of shit.

• 1:35:09Duncan Trussell?

  Isaac Newton, when he died.

• 1:35:10Kurt Metzger?

  Leibnitz, they stole it and gave it back.

• 1:35:12Duncan Trussell?

  Whether he's full of shit or not, when this guy, look at him.

• 1:35:14Kurt Metzger?

  Delta nine?

• 1:35:15Duncan Trussell?

  Look at him.

• 1:35:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:35:16Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's like that up.

• 1:35:17Duncan Trussell?

  Look at Isaac Newton.

• 1:35:18Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:19Duncan Trussell?

  Who does that remind you of? Right here. I'm just saying, saying the way you.

• 1:35:23Kurt Metzger?

  Reminds you of Isaac.

• 1:35:24Duncan Trussell?

  Isaac Newton, when he died, he was like, had mercury in his fucking like skin and bones, you knew this, right? Cause he was obsessed with, right? So I'm just saying, the early scientist was not a square.

• 1:35:36Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know about his secret box that he had?

• 1:35:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:38Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so I a hundred percent subscribe to this, so I flint dibble, but I think, uh, I'm with the LaRushies on this one. I think they fucking gave credited Leibnitz's work to this asshole who was a wackadoo alchemist. And they often say he was the last guy who was both a wizard and a scientist. Is a very common expression at the academy, which I don't know about, cause I'm not in the CIA. So fucking, uh, anyway, he had this box that, you know, he had been hoarding his amazing finds in, and, uh, they found it, and then it was kept hidden for like a while, I forget how long. But, uh, it turns out it was filled with nonsense about drinking your own pee.

• 1:36:19Kurt Metzger?

  The whole thing was nothing scientific because he was a construct, he was a Bill Nye the Science Guy, I would call him. You know?

• 1:36:26Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, my point, I don't know, but I'm just saying, like, if you look at early scientists, they were all maniacs. Like, they weren't, I don't know when science turned into this, like, square.

• 1:36:36Kurt Metzger?

  When, uh, is a very specific time, it was, uh, what's his name, um, Spinoza time? That's, it was around then. There's a definite split, and it's very intentional, it's very intentional compartmentalization of reality that has carried over till now, and it's through the Oxford and Cambridge, and that's Hogwarts.

• 1:36:56Speaker 03

  And science, like, science benefits from, from being wrong. Think about chemistry. If you are saying, I wanted to find a saccharin replacement, you go start testing chemicals, every failed test is still gained knowledge, right? I mean, so that, you know.

• 1:37:13Kurt Metzger?

  I tried xylazine and it, it, uh, didn't work.

• 1:37:16Duncan Trussell?

  But you didn't get it in the vein.

• 1:37:18Kurt Metzger?

  I just shoot it right in the same hole. If you miss, you get another shot.

• 1:37:21Duncan Trussell?

  Look how your legs are swelling up.

• 1:37:22Kurt Metzger?

  Life's full of second chances, that's what I say, is like.

• 1:37:24Duncan Trussell?

  Your leg's swelling, you should go, you should get that checked out, dude.

• 1:37:27Kurt Metzger?

  It's fine.

• 1:37:27Duncan Trussell?

  It's not.

• 1:37:29Kurt Metzger?

  It's okay, it's just the Texas heat swells up in the heat.

• 1:37:32Duncan Trussell?

  You need to get IV fucking antibiotics, quick.

• 1:37:37Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:37:38Kurt Metzger?

  Probably mosquito bite.

• 1:37:39Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:37:40Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a mosquito, alright. Yeah, but, yeah, wait, so, so, I mean, cause I don't know a lot about science, but it does seem to me, early scientists were like kind of outlaws. I don't even know if they were in it for the money, I know lead into gold is for the money, but they all seem to be sort of like manic and obsessed and singularly focused, but, and usually they weren't making money, they were getting arrested, like the early scientists.

• 1:38:04Kurt Metzger?

  A lot of Back to the Future hijinks.

• 1:38:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, they were going Back to the Future all the time.

• 1:38:09Kurt Metzger?

  Doc Brown, Doc Brown fucking around selling plutonium to, uh.

• 1:38:14Duncan Trussell?

  So you're more like, you, you can't really discount yourself, you, you're the item, this is what they used to be like.

• 1:38:21Speaker 03

  Thank you, I, I am pretty passionate about this stuff.

• 1:38:24Duncan Trussell?

  I could see that.

• 1:38:25Speaker 03

  But, you know, the skeptics have their place, and this is what really frustrates me about.

• 1:38:29Kurt Metzger?

  The thing they don't like is you creating any dissent in, Flynn Dibbles dressed the part. His daddy was a nation, so he's one now too. And so people like you, some jerk off that was found in a parking lot with no shirt or shoes, whoo, has a bunch of points that would make me reconsider even the reliable science of Flint Dibble.

• 1:38:50Speaker 03

  Well, you know, I mean, he's an archaeologist.

• 1:38:52Kurt Metzger?

  That's called, that's church shit.

• 1:38:54Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:38:55Kurt Metzger?

  That's what it is, is fucking, yo, I thought you were doing science, I know we're doing church.

• 1:39:00Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:39:00Speaker 03

  Well, it, that's, unfortunately, it's a huge part of the problem, is the way that they look at it that way. But, um, we, we need both, we need the skeptics, like, I, one of my favorite quotes to illustrate this is about eight years after the theory of relativity was penned, Einstein says, I can barely recognize the theory of relativity now that the mathematicians have gotten a hold of it. So Einstein comes up with this idea that all of us, that anybody who may have eaten LSD in their life might understand, you know, all matter is energy condensed and all this shit. And then Einstein's like, well, that's cool hippie, well, let me put this on paper, and then somebody else is like, that's real close, and then we're gonna kick the tires, and we're gonna, and at the end, we nuke fucking Japan, so, anyway. Sorry, you said I was a racist, now it's just coming right on out.

• 1:39:44Kurt Metzger?

  What, uh, nuke in Japan?

• 1:39:46Speaker 03

  Well, you know.

• 1:39:47Kurt Metzger?

  I, that's how I justify the great state of Israel, uh.

• 1:39:50Duncan Trussell?

  We didn't nuke Japan.

• 1:39:51Kurt Metzger?

  Carpet warming Gaza.

• 1:39:52Duncan Trussell?

  That's the first thing you've said that I don't agree with, we never nuked Japan.

• 1:39:55Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you said there's no, are you on the Eddie Brock, there's no such thing as nukes?

• 1:39:58Duncan Trussell?

  What? No, I'm just, I don't want to get into it on this episode, but you, sir, you are a fraud. I have to go take a shit.

• 1:40:06Speaker 03

  Flint Dibble was right.

• 1:40:08Kurt Metzger?

  Flint Dibble was fucking right. Um, yo, will you show me the other thing that's written down on the paper that we could bring up to, um, uh, while, uh, he's having a shit? And, I mean, we can cut this part.

• 1:40:21Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I mean, I don't know which ones are real, so it don't help.

• 1:40:25Speaker 03

  The giant bones?

• 1:40:27Kurt Metzger?

  No, I mean, none of those pictures are real, are they?

• 1:40:29Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, none of those pictures are real.

• 1:40:36Kurt Metzger?

  It was just Fauci and that. There was something else I wanted to get into. You know anything about the Bronze Age collapse?

• 1:40:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Because, uh, I got a weird... Yeah. You've heard of that, right?

• 1:40:48Speaker 03

  Of course. The sea peoples. One of the things I'd like to talk about all the time, because the sea peoples are hypothetical. And they don't know exactly who they were, and they don't have any artifacts, but this is exactly what you tell Graham. Hey Graham, where's your artifacts for your lost civilization? Where's the, where's the language? Where's the, where's the, okay, where's the sea people?

• 1:41:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, we had a guest on here, uh, who has a real wacky, who said something... So, uh, Daryl James from the Secret Space Program.

• 1:41:15Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, thank you for your service. Um, he, he, his story's so fucking out there, dude, and, uh, but it has all these great details. It's like Donald Marshall Storygood. You know Donald Marshall, the guy who talks about the cloning labs and the fucking...

• 1:41:30Speaker 03

  No, I don't.

• 1:41:31Kurt Metzger?

  The, uh, frill lizards?

• 1:41:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:41:38Kurt Metzger?

  That's not the right guy. You gotta put frill lizard.

• 1:41:43Kurt Metzger?

  I hope, yeah, really. Um, anyway, he said that his, uh, when he was leaving... Yeah, there you go. That's the one. It's one of many explanations for the, uh, mysterious black eyes that Hollywood people show up with, you know?

• 1:41:58Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:42:00Kurt Metzger?

  They walked into a door is what I say.

• 1:42:02Speaker 03

  Did you say mysterious black guys? Are you talking about Blade again?

• 1:42:05Kurt Metzger?

  I'm talking, that's right, I'm talking about, uh, Taiga.

• 1:42:10Kurt Metzger?

  Where'd he come from? Where'd he go? We don't know.

• 1:42:12Speaker 03

  We don't know.

• 1:42:13Kurt Metzger?

  Um, uh, let's see. Yo, put it Donald Marshall celebrity black eyes and frill parasites.

• 1:42:22Speaker 03

  Troglodytes.

• 1:42:26Kurt Metzger?

  Duncan, you've heard of Donald Marshall, right?

• 1:42:28Duncan Trussell?

  I don't think I have.

• 1:42:29Kurt Metzger?

  The guy who talks about frill lizards that...

• 1:42:31Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, sure. I've heard of frill lizard.

• 1:42:33Kurt Metzger?

  Let me go take a shit while you tell them real quick?

• 1:42:35Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:42:43Duncan Trussell?

  Hmm. What am I supposed to tell you?

• 1:42:47Speaker 03

  About his shit, I guess.

• 1:42:49Duncan Trussell?

  Look at this. What the fuck? Now look at that.

• 1:42:51Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:42:52Duncan Trussell?

  See that?

• 1:42:54Speaker 03

  Look at that. He's fucking just...

• 1:42:55Kurt Metzger?

  Blade is always watching.

• 1:42:58Speaker 03

  And that's why Kurt didn't get any that night.

• 1:43:00Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, I don't...

• 1:43:02Speaker 03

  He's like, fuck, that's why...

• 1:43:03Duncan Trussell?

  You think he didn't?

• 1:43:04Speaker 03

  He, Blade is keeping it, he couldn't get it up. He knew he was being watched.

• 1:43:09Speaker 03

  God damn it.

• 1:43:10Kurt Metzger?

  Would you like me to come through and do some poetry?

• 1:43:12Duncan Trussell?

  I'd love it.

• 1:43:13Speaker 03

  Come on, just, come on out.

• 1:43:16Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck. What the fuck?

• 1:43:18Speaker 03

  What's in this fuck?

• 1:43:19Kurt Metzger?

  The frill lizard

• 1:43:23Kurt Metzger?

  is a real lizard, believe it or not.

• 1:43:27Kurt Metzger?

  But the lizard people and their fake knowledge are not. The Illuminati is real, but they ain't a real one like me. Blade, Blade, Blade. But at night, the people can't see

• 1:43:46Kurt Metzger?

  the truth. That is me.

• 1:43:50Kurt Metzger?

  Look at this brother right here.

• 1:43:55Kurt Metzger?

  He needs some lotion.

• 1:44:00Kurt Metzger?

  Cause if he went to the club like that, he wouldn't have no motion.

• 1:44:06Kurt Metzger?

  All the women would look at him and say, Blade, why'd you bring this brother around me? I don't know what to say.

• 1:44:19Kurt Metzger?

  Finger snaps. Death hands.

• 1:44:22Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck. How does he... What the fuck?

• 1:44:26Speaker 03

  I don't, maybe it's something that's in this? I don't know. You know, he, he had a good point though about that lizard guy, but I think he missed one thing.

• 1:44:32Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:44:32Speaker 03

  That boy'd be ribbed for her pleasure. Like out the box. He don't need no fucking condom. He just fucking right out the box.

• 1:44:40Duncan Trussell?

  You're doing, you're, you could do poetry slam stuff.

• 1:44:43Speaker 03

  I don't do poetry slam.

• 1:44:44Kurt Metzger?

  Move on from the Andrew Cal, Andrew Callan has bad skin, I get it. We get it.

• 1:44:50Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my god.

• 1:44:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it was a li, it was a lizard. It was...

• 1:44:54Speaker 03

  I'm a really good rapist. Like better than Bill Cosby.

• 1:44:57Kurt Metzger?

  That's, that's why Flint Dibble condemned you. That joke you was trying to make.

• 1:45:00Duncan Trussell?

  Did you do that joke in front of Flint Dibble?

• 1:45:02Kurt Metzger?

  No. That could explain his problem.

• 1:45:04Duncan Trussell?

  Now we get it.

• 1:45:05Speaker 03

  No, I, I didn't do that joke.

• 1:45:07Kurt Metzger?

  I dare you. Wait, why, oh, okay. So Duncan, do you remember? Yeah, you know about the real parasites, right?

• 1:45:13Duncan Trussell?

  No, I, no.

• 1:45:15Kurt Metzger?

  He says they fucking have these, uh, can you put frill lizard so we can see an image of it?

• 1:45:22Duncan Trussell?

  I know about the reptilians. Everybody does. Any basic bitch knows.

• 1:45:25Kurt Metzger?

  Real, no, dude. This is the mystery boys. This is above average bitch.

• 1:45:33Speaker 03

  We got basic bitches is in the parking lot with no shirt on.

• 1:45:35Kurt Metzger?

  This is the, uh, slightly higher percentile.

• 1:45:41Kurt Metzger?

  Frill lizards, that's all they show?

• 1:45:43Duncan Trussell?

  They're cute.

• 1:45:46Kurt Metzger?

  No, there's gotta be more. How the fuck are there not more images of that?

• 1:45:49Speaker 03

  This, when, when I say that there's...

• 1:45:51Kurt Metzger?

  They look like the crab people from South Park.

• 1:45:53Speaker 03

  They don't do cover-ups. They don't do cover-ups. I'm telling you right now. You see, you just...

• 1:45:56Kurt Metzger?

  Do, do frill lizard, pinch your hands, okay?

• 1:45:58Speaker 03

  They hide nothing. They hide nothing. Don't worry about it.

• 1:46:01Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up the frill. I can't believe we can't get an image of a frill lizard right now.

• 1:46:05Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, am I at your mom's house? Is this the real scene or not?

• 1:46:08Duncan Trussell?

  What is happening? How come?

• 1:46:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, let's go. There's gotta be... Ew. Yo, they go through your eye like a fucking, uh...

• 1:46:17Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:46:18Kurt Metzger?

  Kill frill lizards poster? So that's a drawing of a frill lizard.

• 1:46:22Duncan Trussell?

  Uh.

• 1:46:23Kurt Metzger?

  That's just one of them. There's several kinds. There's the long-necked one.

• 1:46:26Duncan Trussell?

  That's a frill with a long neck.

• 1:46:28Kurt Metzger?

  That's a ver, frill version too. The yellow drawing. Go to the yellow one. There you go. Okay, so that thing, according to Donald Marshall, who would go, who'd be pulled out of his, uh, art REM sleep by, uh, into a clone body, which is a, a very common story, by the way. Is, uh, pulling your fucking consciousness into some clone body where, uh, basically, let's say you're really rich and, you know, what was that movie Bruce Willis? Where they had, uh, avatars that could do, you could do crimes on? Same as, uh, Westworld, the new one? You know what I'm talking about?

• 1:47:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can't think of any of it, but yeah.

• 1:47:04Kurt Metzger?

  Well, it's like a Westworld situation.

• 1:47:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:06Kurt Metzger?

  You'd be pulled into it. And so, um, these parasites, they have a proboscis or something, say, and they would go through your eye, just like a, uh, what's the fucking Dungeons and Dragons thing that does that? Mind, like a mind flayer.

• 1:47:18Speaker 03

  Oh, there you go.

• 1:47:19Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, they, and what comes out of, and they can only do this once in life. It comes out of them and it goes into your eye. And they go until they, they taste your brain, like deep in your brain, it tastes like butterscotch to them.

• 1:47:29Duncan Trussell?

  Hmm.

• 1:47:30Kurt Metzger?

  And then everything that that creature is goes into your brain and it takes you over. And they were around at the time of dinosaurs. They would do that to dinosaurs.

• 1:47:38Duncan Trussell?

  They would take over dinosaurs.

• 1:47:39Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, the guys, uh, if you haven't heard Donald Marshall, let me tell you something fascinating. His story sounds kooky as shit. Um, and other people whose kooky stories, I believe more, have told me that I never heard of that shit. But it's still something interesting about his story. And, uh, he claims that he'd be pulled since he was a kid, and he wrote all, this is the schizophrenic sounding part? Is he wrote all the pop, all these pop songs you've heard and all these other songs. He wrote, uh, Walking on the Moon by Sting. Okay, so some child psychologist on Rumble did this, or Odyssey, like that's how far down the, the, you know, D-Class A channel hole it is.

• 1:48:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:18Kurt Metzger?

  But she mapped out songs to child mental development, the songs he claimed to have written. And like Walking on the Moon sounds exactly like a five-year-old wrote it, but according to, okay. Then he claims, uh, it's, uh, I think Megadeth, on Megadeth, there's a guy who's dead on the cover. Put in Megadeth album cover and Donald Marshall. He claims that he's the guy on the cover. Cause what happens is they'll, they'll torch you and kill you, but it's like a video, like a Valhalla. It's like, it's a lot like Valhalla.

• 1:48:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:50Kurt Metzger?

  And you, you, okay, there you go. There's a picture, so there, see a picture?

• 1:48:55Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I see it.

• 1:48:56Kurt Metzger?

  And there's Donald Marshall. He claims that's him.

• 1:48:58Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, it does look like him.

• 1:49:00Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:49:03Kurt Metzger?

  Now, I don't really know what became of this guy, but I, I've since heard other...

• 1:49:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, wait, he wrote Walking on them for real? Like he...

• 1:49:11Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I don't know if it's for real. His story sounds insane.

• 1:49:13Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, he's claiming he wrote them. I got you.

• 1:49:15Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know why he's in, has to go at night, uh, into, uh, the cloning center.

• 1:49:23Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, just so you know, this is real technology. They can beam advertisements into your dreams. Does everybody know that?

• 1:49:29Duncan Trussell?

  I've heard that, but...

• 1:49:30Kurt Metzger?

  Popular Mechanics dream advertising. This is from like 2017. That's how old this technology is.

• 1:49:37Speaker 03

  Did you hear about the fruit fly that they max headroomed, basically?

• 1:49:40Kurt Metzger?

  Put, put Popular Mechanics.

• 1:49:43Kurt Metzger?

  The what?

• 1:49:43Speaker 03

  The fruit fly that they basically max headroomed? Do they put it into a computer?

• 1:49:47Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:47Kurt Metzger?

  Fruit fly, you mean Kathy Griffin?

• 1:49:52Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not in this area. Wait, what the fuck is this?

• 1:49:56Speaker 03

  The nightmare.

• 1:49:56Kurt Metzger?

  Get out of this. Popular Mechanics.

• 1:49:58Duncan Trussell?

  I think this is it, though.

• 1:49:59Kurt Metzger?

  No, was it?

• 1:50:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I think it was like a breakdown of what's gonna be in this article.

• 1:50:03Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, there you go. Click that.

• 1:50:05Duncan Trussell?

  Advertisers are hijacking your dreams.

• 1:50:07Kurt Metzger?

  There's a movie where Nicolas Cage, everyone kept dreaming Nicolas Cage in the movie. Uh, a group of researchers, now, I only had one dream ever where I remember craving some kind of supermarket store brand cake. But I think that's just because I'm gay. This is where they programmed, like you McDonald's, you gotta wake up and eat McDonald's.

• 1:50:29Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, advertisers could be reaching you while you sleep. Uh, a group of sleep...

• 1:50:35Kurt Metzger?

  My, god damn, my friend Eric Hecker, the Antarctica whistleblower guy that used to work for Raytheon? Who said the ice cube neutrino detector is a fucking E L F, uh, weapon among other things? And faster than light communication. You know, it's measuring neutrinos coming out of the earth, cause I don't know if this is like considered, uh, consensus. Sorry Flint, if it's, I don't know if it's intended.

• 1:50:56Speaker 03

  I don't know nothing about fucking science.

• 1:50:58Kurt Metzger?

  But, uh, neutrinos were the, like, people were saying they maybe moved backwards in time, remember that?

• 1:51:02Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:04Kurt Metzger?

  So there's the Raytheon, which is weird, a weapons company in a place with a treaty that you can't have weapons there. Uh, has this neutrino detector that Eric explains they could pile with a nuclear submarine under the ice. Okay, have a separate power source. And, uh, he, and he doesn't say anything crazy. He just says, the craziest thing he saw was green, some kind of green beam coming out the top of it at night.

• 1:51:28Duncan Trussell?

  Crazy.

• 1:51:28Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah.

• 1:51:29Duncan Trussell?

  Well, but you know, this subliminal marketing, it's, it's not new. This has been going on forever. Like, remember, what was the thing in a camp?

• 1:51:36Kurt Metzger?

  That's subliminal. You're asleep and they fucking beam an ad in your dream like inception.

• 1:51:41Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, this was...

• 1:51:42Kurt Metzger?

  Inception.

• 1:51:43Duncan Trussell?

  This was saying they like give you precursor seeds that, right? Like, not that you're sleeping, it happens. But remember like...

• 1:51:51Kurt Metzger?

  No, I, wait, wait, I, I thought it...

• 1:51:53Duncan Trussell?

  That thing you pulled up?

• 1:51:54Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, go back, go back, go back. I didn't realize that. Uh, go back to the article. Okay.

• 1:52:04Kurt Metzger?

  Keep going, you keep going, uh.

• 1:52:09Kurt Metzger?

  Quarant, okay. The stress of the pandemic has caused many of us to have difficult and in turn experience weird bizarre dreams called quarant, quarantine, oh quarantine and dream. Fuck you.

• 1:52:21Duncan Trussell?

  God, who did fuck.

• 1:52:22Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, who wrote that Flint Dibble? Typically, we can't control what we dream about, but what if we could? Coors Light, but what if we could? Coors Light and Coors Seltzer want to ensure you'll have a refreshing dream using the science of guiding dreams. That's like, uh, this is darker than I thought.

• 1:52:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. It's like they're seeding you.

• 1:52:41Kurt Metzger?

  I quote this all the time. I don't think I read this article.

• 1:52:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. They're seeding you.

• 1:52:46Kurt Metzger?

  I think I just got fucked up from the title.

• 1:52:49Duncan Trussell?

  Targeted dream implantation has a history that dates back millennia, especially among groups who value dreams or spiritual practices. Yeah. So they're just like seeding your fucking dreams.

• 1:52:58Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:52:59Duncan Trussell?

  Insidious.

• 1:53:00Kurt Metzger?

  So that's how you used to do it. But we live in the tech bro world, which thank God we live in the best time to be alive.

• 1:53:07Duncan Trussell?

  Absolutely.

• 1:53:08Kurt Metzger?

  Doesn't have to be a PP.

• 1:53:09Duncan Trussell?

  Golden age, baby.

• 1:53:11Kurt Metzger?

  Um, let's see.

• 1:53:12Speaker 03

  Golden showers.

• 1:53:13Kurt Metzger?

  Introduce sounds and pipe smells. And oh, pipe, piping smells? What do you, wait, are they gassing me in my dreams? What do you mean piping smells?

• 1:53:23Duncan Trussell?

  I think this is like, if you, if you're in a room with people, you could pipe in smells, right? They're not saying they're piping in smells in your dreams.

• 1:53:31Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:33Speaker 03

  It's chemicals they put in you.

• 1:53:34Kurt Metzger?

  McDonald's was fuck, okay, look, here's what Eric Hacker said. So McDonald's at this point, what year was this? Will you look at the, when this came out? So there's a bunch of scientists like Flint Dibble level scientists came out, 2021. But Eric's point was great. He goes, if this is a thing that McDonald's is fucking with, what, how long you think it's been around? The tech and how much you think 5G is involved? I don't know about you, and it could be because I travel a lot, not because I'm in the CIA, I do standup comedy. Um, but I can't sleep without something on.

• 1:54:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, right.

• 1:54:08Kurt Metzger?

  That's my own personal Schumann frequency. You know, like the earth has that frequency that you need, astronauts get fucked up from not being around it? Well, I need, I put, I sleep with headphones at night.

• 1:54:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:54:20Duncan Trussell?

  Can I just say for all the people who've fallen asleep during this episode? Breakers, breakers, breaking waves.

• 1:54:27Kurt Metzger?

  Stay awake while you talk about science.

• 1:54:28Duncan Trussell?

  Breakers, breakers. You're gonna dream about breakers.

• 1:54:32Kurt Metzger?

  5G wireless radiation linked to alter. I mean, saying linked to that is like really noncommittal.

• 1:54:39Duncan Trussell?

  But some people are saying, if you want to do the experiment, think about some shit you never think about, and then wait and an advertisement will come up.

• 1:54:46Kurt Metzger?

  Our homunculus expert, the number one homunculus expert.

• 1:54:49Duncan Trussell?

  We're saying that.

• 1:54:50Kurt Metzger?

  He said, he thinks about a dick. He thinks about dicks. Am I misquoting?

• 1:54:55Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, he would, but it was similar. He was like giving a way to.

• 1:54:58Kurt Metzger?

  I beat you to that one.

• 1:54:59Speaker 03

  Am I misfiring?

• 1:55:00Duncan Trussell?

  Giving you a way to remember your dreams by, I guess, imagining like a phallus going up your spine into your brain? I didn't quite understand.

• 1:55:07Kurt Metzger?

  It's the only way I could come.

• 1:55:08Duncan Trussell?

  But this shit is like, can you pull up like, uh, phones are now telepathic? It won't come up probably, but this has been floating around for a while. Is it like somehow?

• 1:55:17Kurt Metzger?

  They are. How do they do it? It can read your fucking brainwaves.

• 1:55:20Duncan Trussell?

  Or maybe they're implanting the thought and I don't know.

• 1:55:23Kurt Metzger?

  Well, you, okay, I bring this, people have probably already seen it. Uh, but put in the mind reading headphones, WEF. It's a, just to play the cartoon, you've seen this, right? God, nobody's seen anything.

• 1:55:37Speaker 03

  I know, I'm always busy looking at old rocks, taking off my clothes in public.

• 1:55:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's called the real archaeology. The homeless are doing it every day. Hiding out for.

• 1:55:46Speaker 03

  Till Blad A gets a hold of them, chopping them down.

• 1:55:49Duncan Trussell?

  AI technology is introduced at the world.

• 1:55:52Kurt Metzger?

  Play that thing. That's great. First off, a video, uh, it's going to make you see the future and understand a wonderful future where we can use brainwaves to fight crime, be more productive.

• 1:56:02Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, boy.

• 1:56:03Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not productive enough.

• 1:56:04Speaker 04

  Sensing your joy, your playlist shifts to your favorite song, sending chills up your spine as the music begins to play. You glance at the program running in the background on your computer screen and notice a now familiar sight that appears whenever you're overloaded with pleasure. Your theta brainwave activity decreasing in the temporal regions of your brain. You mentally move the cursor to the left and scroll through your brain data over the past few hours. You can see your stress levels rising as the deadline to finish your memo approached, causing a peak in your beta brainwave activity right before an alert pops up.

• 1:56:44Kurt Metzger?

  My beta brain.

• 1:56:45Speaker 04

  Telling you to take a brain break.

• 1:56:46Duncan Trussell?

  Brain break.

• 1:56:47Speaker 04

  Your mind starts to wander to the new colleague on your team whom you know you shouldn't be daydreaming about.

• 1:56:53Kurt Metzger?

  Why not?

• 1:56:54Speaker 04

  Given the policy against intra-office romance.

• 1:56:57Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, what are you, what is this shit? Wait, press pause. You know, you, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, press pause. Who you know you shouldn't be daydreaming about due to intra-office romance policies? Number one, I didn't know the office is allowed to, that sounds like the, you know, when Christ is like, uh, you've already committed adultery.

• 1:57:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's what it is.

• 1:57:17Kurt Metzger?

  So this is the corporate takeover of that.

• 1:57:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:57:20Kurt Metzger?

  Who the fuck, yo, I'll daydream about all kind of creepy shit if I want, motherfucker, about Dan from D-Dunking while he's next to me.

• 1:57:26Duncan Trussell?

  No fantasizing at work. It costs a lot of money to your employer. Can you keep playing?

• 1:57:32Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, good.

• 1:57:34Speaker 04

  Start to worry that your boss will notice your amorous feelings when she.

• 1:57:39Kurt Metzger?

  Why would my boss notice when I daydream?

• 1:57:41Duncan Trussell?

  She's watching your brain activity.

• 1:57:42Speaker 03

  She's flicking your bean.

• 1:57:44Speaker 04

  You breathe a sigh of relief when the email she sends you later that day congratulates you on your brain metrics from the past quarter.

• 1:57:52Kurt Metzger?

  That's why I'm a failure.

• 1:57:52Speaker 03

  I'm an American.

• 1:57:53Kurt Metzger?

  I wasn't congratulating on my brain metrics.

• 1:57:55Speaker 03

  I have brain inches. I don't do metrics.

• 1:57:57Speaker 04

  A somber cloud has fallen over the office.

• 1:58:00Duncan Trussell?

  Uh oh.

• 1:58:00Speaker 04

  Along with emails, text messages and GPS location data, the government has subpoenaed employees' brainwave data from the past year. They have compelling evidence that one of your coworkers has committed massive wire fraud. Now they're looking for his co-conspirators. You discover they are looking for synchronized brain activity between your coworker and the people he has been working with.

• 1:58:27Duncan Trussell?

  Great.

• 1:58:28Speaker 04

  While you know you're innocent of any crime, you've been secretly working with him on a new startup venture. Shaking, you remove your earbuds.

• 1:58:38Kurt Metzger?

  Watch this, watch.

• 1:58:38Speaker 07

  What do you think? Is it a future you're ready for?

• 1:58:42Speaker 07

  You may be surprised to learn that it's a future that has already arrived.

• 1:58:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yay. Okay, stop it. Let's just look at when this is from. Cause my favorite part, this is like in Watchmen where he's like, I already did my plan, like.

• 1:58:55Duncan Trussell?

  2023.

• 1:58:56Kurt Metzger?

  So it's, they don't, so yeah, no, your iPhone reads your fucking mind. Don't worry about it. It fucking does. And these pieces of shit, now these are people at Davos.

• 1:59:06Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, they're now order pizza with your mind.

• 1:59:08Kurt Metzger?

  Where do you see that? Yeah, there you go. Hit that. Oh, MIT, that's the Epstein one.

• 1:59:12Speaker 05

  Asks the computer and then hears the answer through vibrations transmitted through his skull and into his inner ear. What's the largest city in Bulgaria and what is the population? The screen shows how long it takes the computer to read the words that he's saying to himself.

• 1:59:30Duncan Trussell?

  Sofia, one point to one million.

• 1:59:32Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Sofia.

• 1:59:33Speaker 05

  Is correct. You just Googled that.

• 1:59:35Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's a bit of wisdom.

• 1:59:36Speaker 05

  You could be an expert in any subject. You have the entire internet in your head.

• 1:59:43Duncan Trussell?

  That's the idea.

• 1:59:43Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, wouldn't that be great?

• 1:59:44Speaker 04

  That you can order food without lifting a finger or saying anything?

• 1:59:49Duncan Trussell?

  That's great. Yeah. We want to order it. It's exhausting to order pizza.

• 1:59:52Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I'm practically paralyzed.

• 1:59:53Duncan Trussell?

  I fucking hate pressing buttons.

• 1:59:55Speaker 04

  And he says, it's asking, what kind of toppings do you want?

• 2:00:01Kurt Metzger?

  They're topping?

• 2:00:04Kurt Metzger?

  Toppies?

• 2:00:14Kurt Metzger?

  Go ahead, go ahead, play it.

• 2:00:14Speaker 03

  Yay, science.

• 2:00:16Kurt Metzger?

  He amazed the 60 Minutes team.

• 2:00:18Speaker 04

  Can it do pepperoni?

• 2:00:19Duncan Trussell?

  Let's try.

• 2:00:20Speaker 04

  Let's try.

• 2:00:20Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I work here, I do pepperoni.

• 2:00:25Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:00:27Duncan Trussell?

  We got ourselves pizzas.

• 2:00:28Kurt Metzger?

  Thank you. Thank you, H1B visa man.

• 2:00:31Speaker 04

  Should be here soon.

• 2:00:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yay.

• 2:00:33Speaker 03

  Dude, you guys should fucking make a minute for Kill Tony. That's hilarious.

• 2:00:36Speaker 04

  Packing up our gear and lo and behold, he says, Katie, your pizza's here.

• 2:00:41Kurt Metzger?

  Again, they made a pizza.

• 2:00:44Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Came from his mind.

• 2:00:47Speaker 04

  That's pizza delivered.

• 2:00:48Kurt Metzger?

  Thank you, Kapoor.

• 2:00:48Speaker 04

  Without saying a word or lifting a finger.

• 2:00:50Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, great. Just what the world needs.

• 2:00:52Kurt Metzger?

  Press pause.

• 2:00:53Duncan Trussell?

  The first.

• 2:00:53Kurt Metzger?

  Press pause. So, okay, when is this from? Let's just look when this was from.

• 2:00:59Duncan Trussell?

  Three years ago.

• 2:01:00Kurt Metzger?

  It's older than that even. So, um, okay, one, 60 Minutes, keep in mind, that idiot guy, who's got the white hair? I mean, he just ordered a pizza? That fucking moron?

• 2:01:10Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:01:10Kurt Metzger?

  That's one of the guys that got fired, he left CBS. Cause you know Barry Weiss, that fucking giant of journalism? He's not some Israel fucking shill, stop, I know what you're gonna say, but me and Clive.

• 2:01:23Duncan Trussell?

  She, oh, 2018, she ordered that pizza. He ordered that pizza.

• 2:01:28Kurt Metzger?

  Kapur ordered a pizza with his thoughts. I, what if Buster got his hands on that technology?

• 2:01:34Duncan Trussell?

  The device reads electrical signals sent to the vocal cords without any spoken words or outward movement.

• 2:01:39Kurt Metzger?

  Alter ego device. He wore a wearable AI headset, soon to be mandatory, that captured internal silent word articulation.

• 2:01:47Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up Chinese classroom brain monitoring devices?

• 2:01:51Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Jesus. What do you mean Chinese classroom?

• 2:01:53Duncan Trussell?

  Brain monitoring devices.

• 2:01:54Kurt Metzger?

  That's the thing in China, you know that?

• 2:01:57Duncan Trussell?

  It seems like you would know too, cause you go to China quite a lot on your trips. There you go. How China is using artificial intelligence in classrooms. There you go.

• 2:02:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, so that's the thing we've had for a long time.

• 2:02:10Kurt Metzger?

  Teachers at this primary school in China. I know that's right.

• 2:02:15Kurt Metzger?

  Know exactly when someone isn't paying attention.

• 2:02:17Duncan Trussell?

  Purple means you're going to jail.

• 2:02:22Kurt Metzger?

  These headbands measure each student's level of concentration. The information is then directly. Sent to the teacher's computer and to parents.

• 2:02:31Duncan Trussell?

  This is already happening for sure.

• 2:02:33Kurt Metzger?

  To become a global leader in artificial intelligence. So press pause. A global leader in artificial intelligence. So keep in mind, we've got, we can't let China beat us. And don't worry, China hasn't beat us. But here's the problem with Americans. They all think that they shouldn't have to be China just to compete with China. So that's why your iPhone just reads your mind and nobody confirms.

• 2:02:56Speaker 03

  Or denies.

• 2:02:57Kurt Metzger?

  Do they? They must deny it.

• 2:02:59Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I mean, it's just, I, yeah, there's no real.

• 2:03:02Kurt Metzger?

  There, don't worry, China's has never beat us. What's, what they're gonna beat us at is by the time these fucks here are done, you're gonna wish, you're gonna have to flee to fucking China. Why? Cause they have at least flying cars.

• 2:03:15Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, can you pull up a drone shines light on unauthorized swimming?

• 2:03:20Kurt Metzger?

  Chinese drive them. That's called freedom, my friend.

• 2:03:22Duncan Trussell?

  Check this out. This is a drone shining a light on a dude who wasn't supposed to be swimming.

• 2:03:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, look at this. Oh, wait, go to the one under it, cause that, that's actually it.

• 2:03:34Kurt Metzger?

  It's not worth ever logging into Facebook.

• 2:03:36Duncan Trussell?

  Look at this shit. Look, dude's doing unauthorized swimming, so this light drone flashes on him. Why? I mean.

• 2:03:45Kurt Metzger?

  They have no fucking cops of any kind that are effective.

• 2:03:49Duncan Trussell?

  It's just crazy.

• 2:03:51Speaker 03

  Jesus, that's, yeah.

• 2:03:52Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so here's the cops. Here's the cops in China. They have no guns. They have no guns. People drive by giving them a finger. Like if they want to pull you over. The cops are, so this is billions of people and the police have no guns. So that's why they, that's why they installed. So back when Ari Shaffir went and they had that, don't eat street noodles? Cause they were using sewer oil?

• 2:04:17Kurt Metzger?

  But when I was there, there was nothing like that. In fact, they had even cleaned up the Shanghai black market that I wanted to go to to get a pair of Nike Reeboks.

• 2:04:24Duncan Trussell?

  That's why you went to China, huh?

• 2:04:25Kurt Metzger?

  No, I found out about that after I, I went there for the Kung Fu Comedy Festival. It's called, not festival, Kung Fu Comedy Tour. Which here, by the way, I know there's somebody going, guys, way shit.

• 2:04:36Duncan Trussell?

  No one's saying it's racist. They're all just saying you're in the fucking CIA.

• 2:04:40Kurt Metzger?

  I wasn't.

• 2:04:41Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, you were at a comedy festival in China.

• 2:04:44Kurt Metzger?

  It wasn't a festival. It was a, uh, uh, and we weren't supposed to be doing it because someone had ratted out the, uh, comedy, uh, tour. That, uh, cause standup was really popular there when I went. They all had VPNs. So I was surprised how competent the Chinese comics were. And also they were like, oh, this is the height of being a fucking queef in comedy. Because Trump won, so we have to make up for it by being like not funny and also forgetting basic things.

• 2:05:13Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 2:05:14Kurt Metzger?

  So China's, they don't want to hear sex or religion jokes. They don't care about that. But they want to hear racist jokes.

• 2:05:21Duncan Trussell?

  No way.

• 2:05:22Kurt Metzger?

  I don't really have. My bad.

• 2:05:24Speaker 03

  Yeah. I could help you with that, man.

• 2:05:28Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, comedian makes stooge. Who's that?

• 2:05:30Duncan Trussell?

  Makes stooge of CIA.

• 2:05:31Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Dick Gregory.

• 2:05:34Speaker 03

  You guys ever heard of the polybius machine the CIA supposedly have?

• 2:05:38Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, but so I first thought it was made up and then maybe it's not made up.

• 2:05:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's an interesting little story, uh.

• 2:05:44Kurt Metzger?

  You ever see The Last Starfighter?

• 2:05:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:05:46Kurt Metzger?

  That's what it's about.

• 2:05:47Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Oh, that's cool. Oh, yeah. The, oh, yeah. I love this shit.

• 2:05:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is cool.

• 2:05:52Kurt Metzger?

  You know what? An unproven urban legend, it means that it's real.

• 2:05:56Speaker 03

  It's been on The Simpsons.

• 2:05:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:05:57Kurt Metzger?

  It's in Portland, Oregon for mind control. That's a hundred, I, I, that sentence, uh, confirms the whole thing, actually. It's, the way that's written confirms that that is indeed real.

• 2:06:08Speaker 03

  It's an interesting story for sure. It's, um, the,

• 2:06:14Speaker 03

  at the end of the day, like a lot of these things, we, you know, we end up hitting the brick wall with the research part of it. It's, it's funny things where they're like.

• 2:06:19Kurt Metzger?

  You could look around you, all around you and see that the mind control is the most, again, the Epstein files came out and there were no riots. And nobody burned nothing down? After it comes out, they eat your fucking kids, you losers? What a loser country that could never win a war ever again. What a loser country.

• 2:06:36Duncan Trussell?

  But also as far as the winning the war thing, like if you want to get in The Last Starfighter or like sort of like government cursed technology, look at the most popular games. What are they? Right? Obviously, they're like hardcore military games, right? And it's not, it's not, they are fun. They're a blast. But wait, wait, let me finish. They're not training people to fight in war. They know the future of war is gonna be robots. In my theory is they want, it's gonna be drone operators for robots. They're training people to essentially operate tech. You don't think so?

• 2:07:08Kurt Metzger?

  You can never do war without boots on the ground. Everyone thinks that you're gonna robot your way. And I'm not saying this because I'm in the CIA and I know about war and shit. Boots on the ground. It will always be boots on the ground.

• 2:07:20Duncan Trussell?

  Why?

• 2:07:21Kurt Metzger?

  Because at the end of the day, you gotta have someone there. The same reason you can't control, like when something's too big to control, like the world, even though for some reason, that's a thing that needs to happen for some fucking minute. No, you got boots on the ground. It'll fall apart on you immediately. There's no, those mind reading headphones are a lame attempt for total control, as is mind control experiments that have succeeded.

• 2:07:45Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, pull up like Ukrainian drone operator. It's already happening. Look at this shit. I'm not saying it'll be all robots, but.

• 2:07:51Kurt Metzger?

  No, they're, the people that sell robots for this.

• 2:07:54Duncan Trussell?

  Look at this shit.

• 2:07:55Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:58Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that Lego dude. Look at that. Can you pull up the Lego guy?

• 2:08:03Kurt Metzger?

  Now, here's what you won't need. I'll tell you what you won't need in the future. A navy. That, you, you still need human, human operators. You still do. They've never replaced it yet. It's not just in war. They want to replace it in Hollywood and fucking podcasts.

• 2:08:19Speaker 03

  McDonald's.

• 2:08:20Duncan Trussell?

  Well, yeah, and pull up Trump bans Chinese robots. You see this? This just happened.

• 2:08:26Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, it's probably the best robot.

• 2:08:29Speaker 03

  He banned the Chinese.

• 2:08:30Duncan Trussell?

  The Trump administration has banned imports of new Chinese humanoid and quadruped robots citing unacceptable risks to US national security. I didn't even know you could order these fucking things. And now they're blocked.

• 2:08:43Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, man, we gotta get those data centers up because otherwise China's gonna beat us. I mind reading.

• 2:08:47Duncan Trussell?

  Gotta get those things up.

• 2:08:48Kurt Metzger?

  And we gotta, dude, we gotta get one of those halos so I know if you're paying attention.

• 2:08:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, obviously.

• 2:08:55Duncan Trussell?

  That would be amazing.

• 2:08:59Kurt Metzger?

  Dog, are you paying attention?

• 2:09:01Speaker 03

  He's just white all the time. Offline, offline, offline.

• 2:09:05Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up, uh, Chinese war robot? They are pretty creepy though, man.

• 2:09:08Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 2:09:09Duncan Trussell?

  But I don't think they're using like drone operators. I think it's AI maybe?

• 2:09:12Kurt Metzger?

  I know. And it makes me mad because, you know, I, I like the ones here that are, are made by like a young guy with a haircut from the eighties and a shirt like my shirt.

• 2:09:23Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, fuck, pull up Ukraine wins battle with robots. I think this just happened. You know, cause it.

• 2:09:28Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that, I know the one you're talking about. They got him to surrender. That's fake.

• 2:09:32Duncan Trussell?

  Is that fake?

• 2:09:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. You can see the soldiers looking at a guy off to the side. So it's clearly not the robot.

• 2:09:38Duncan Trussell?

  It's this little guy here. Pull that tank thing up.

• 2:09:41Kurt Metzger?

  Fake, fake.

• 2:09:43Duncan Trussell?

  Let's see. I mean, those things are real. But you're saying that they didn't.

• 2:09:48Kurt Metzger?

  I'm saying the amazing victories of their robots are fake. But can I tell you the good news?

• 2:09:52Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 2:09:53Kurt Metzger?

  Zelensky's been attacking Iranian ships. So now we're gonna, instead of having, you know, rest in peace Lindsey Graham, that beautiful tribute song that you made to him.

• 2:10:02Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you.

• 2:10:03Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, that's his dearest wish was to get us to World War III and I think we are gonna do it by technicality, like most World War Threes.

• 2:10:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:12Kurt Metzger?

  You know?

• 2:10:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:13Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, and yeah, so because technically right now, the entire world's at war again.

• 2:10:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:18Kurt Metzger?

  Right now. So we're in it now. And I think this could be the thing that we need so it doesn't have to be another false flag on us like a Pearl Harbor or a nine eleven or every single war you've ever heard of.

• 2:10:30Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:30Kurt Metzger?

  The Gulf of Tonkin or the, uh, Lusitania or the Fort Sumter or every fucking single one, wouldn't you know it?

• 2:10:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:41Kurt Metzger?

  Is that weird? Every single one?

• 2:10:44Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up Netanyahu meeting with, uh, or, uh, Zelensky and Trump? It is weird because you know what I noticed with this man? Before that shit happened, when I go on X and do hashtag Iran, all this Ukrainian shit would just show up on the feed. It's already winding the two together.

• 2:11:00Kurt Metzger?

  That was already going on. They were already letting, but at the end of the day, what connects these two pieces of shit is Habad. That's a fact. Habad, Habad. It's like the Moonies but of Jews and it's an intel group. So the Moonies, the CIA pushed that because that was anti-communist.

• 2:11:17Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up US using Ukrainian drones in Iran, you know, because the, the Ukraine is just like a laboratory for new weapons.

• 2:11:23Kurt Metzger?

  Dude Garland Nixon said it on Jimmy's show yesterday. He's right.

• 2:11:26Speaker 03

  It's what Vietnam was in seventies, right?

• 2:11:28Duncan Trussell?

  They all are.

• 2:11:29Kurt Metzger?

  This dude Garland said it. Um, Ukraine's a platform. So it's a platform to launch shit from. That's, that's what the whole thing's about. Russia's like, we don't want you to have this platform on our border. Too long, and we're like, we will.

• 2:11:41Duncan Trussell?

  There, yeah, open that one. The US scored its first Iranian shot, he'd kill with a counter drone system proven in Ukraine. So like, we're testing tech there, sending it over. Now we're just like merging with the Israeli military.

• 2:11:55Speaker 03

  Stick it in the tray.

• 2:11:56Duncan Trussell?

  And we're gonna. Some alliance with Ukraine.

• 2:11:59Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I'm sorry. It's not really a merger with Israel. Not to tamp down on the enthusiasm of this great thing that.

• 2:12:04Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, come on. Yeah, it's gotta be.

• 2:12:06Kurt Metzger?

  It's, it's, uh, informa, you know, like intel sharing. It only goes one way from us to them. They don't share, they don't have to share with us.

• 2:12:13Speaker 03

  Oh, man.

• 2:12:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it's great. They're not that they did.

• 2:12:15Duncan Trussell?

  Great deal.

• 2:12:16Speaker 03

  That's the same way I did work as a.

• 2:12:17Duncan Trussell?

  It's receiving information. It's easier to send than receive.

• 2:12:20Kurt Metzger?

  You know, these degenerates that are anti-Israel and think it's bad to merge our.

• 2:12:24Duncan Trussell?

  No one thinks that. Who thinks that?

• 2:12:26Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I don't want to even say their names and give them credit.

• 2:12:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, let's not platform them.

• 2:12:31Kurt Metzger?

  But yeah, I don't even want to platform that. I don't want to Ukraine them.

• 2:12:35Duncan Trussell?

  Nah.

• 2:12:36Speaker 03

  They get six points per homeless kill. I did see that.

• 2:12:40Kurt Metzger?

  Um, that, you're thinking of the Serbian conflict when, uh, and, and we should keep quiet about that because, uh, we, you know, Mystery Blaze has funding as well. Let's not, not in the CIA.

• 2:12:49Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, somebody's gotta pay for the cameras. Somebody's gotta pay for the White Claws.

• 2:12:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it keeps us in high noons, you know? That's the best way I could put it. Oh my God, I gotta shit again.

• 2:12:59Duncan Trussell?

  Are you?

• 2:13:06Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, can you pull up, this is something I'm always fascinated with, the Egyptian, you know that weird like, it looks like from a sophisticated engine, that Egyptian artifact, you know, Google Egyptian artifact looks like, it looks like a rotor blade or something?

• 2:13:24Speaker 03

  Oh, the shit's disc.

• 2:13:26Duncan Trussell?

  The shit, it's called a shit's disc?

• 2:13:27Speaker 03

  It's made out of shit's, it's uh, yeah, S C, S C H I S T, uh, disc, there you go.

• 2:13:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, this thing's cool as fuck.

• 2:13:38Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think this is?

• 2:13:39Speaker 03

  Well, to me, to me, this is one of the things where it's like, it's, they have a hard time explaining this stuff. Now, this is made out of, out of a stone that's pretty easy to carve, um, but there's a good possibility, I mean, it looks like, it looks like some of a fucking car, right?

• 2:13:54Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:13:54Speaker 03

  Something like that, it looks like, there's a lot of alternate historians think that there was a replacement out of something that was metal, that came down the pipes later on. The mainstream explanation, um, they're not a hundred percent, they say that like you use it to scatter seeds or something with, and I'm like, man, I've, I've rolled enough joints, no, you don't, you don't have things with no borders to, to gather your seeds, right?

• 2:14:15Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 2:14:16Speaker 03

  But yeah, that's the only explanation, it moves water really good, like if they put reproduction of this in water, it really fucking dries water, so.

• 2:14:23Duncan Trussell?

  Well, they're, you know, the theory, the pyramids were like, uh, they floated, they used canals or whatever, then this maybe was something to do with that. Do you buy into the, remember when it started popping up beneath the pyramids?

• 2:14:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:14:36Duncan Trussell?

  There were these columns, do you buy into that?

• 2:14:37Speaker 03

  Not a hundred percent, but the, the thing is, they're using synthetic aperture radar, um, and uh, they're, they're using AI to go with it. And synthetic aperture radar has gotten a whole lot better as computers have gotten here.

• 2:14:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:50Speaker 03

  Um, like it used to, in the seventies, it was really bad, but now it's like a couple of centimeters of fidelity from space. Um, so, you know, I think that the fact that they're using AI, the fact that a lot of this stuff has been extrapolated, I think that just like the six thumbs and shit we used to get, I think that they're probably gonna have some problems in artifacts, but I, I, it's one of the areas where I get really frustrated because of polarization, just, just like that. You got all these scientists saying this is bullshit, it's like, they're using ten year old synthetic aperture radar data and saying, well, this is, this is how synthetic aperture radar works. It's like, well, that's how it worked back then, before we had fucking AI, you bonehead.

• 2:15:28Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 2:15:28Speaker 03

  I could make a YouTube video without having to compete with AI then too, the whole world hath moved on.

• 2:15:32Duncan Trussell?

  But there, there is a precedent for sort of this, this, there being like a massive subterranean, uh, maze, who, who said, like,

• 2:15:41Speaker 03

  Herodotus talked about it.

• 2:15:42Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull that up, um, Herodotus maze under the pyramids?

• 2:15:46Speaker 03

  I think it's Saqara, S A Q is where the, uh, I believe that the maze is in Saqara, if I remember right, but.

• 2:15:54Duncan Trussell?

  So, you know, it's not, this is something that's already been talked about, and it wouldn't, I'm sure that wouldn't surprise anybody, that there's an underground labyrinth.

• 2:16:02Kurt Metzger?

  What's that half excavated underground thing that's with the military around it since the sixties that no one talks about, we were talking about?

• 2:16:09Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck, I forget the name of it, but yeah, this is a giant ass, that right there, that is right there, that, that's in Saqara, that big ass fucking hole right there, basically. It's like, yeah, there's, there's this area.

• 2:16:18Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, look at that.

• 2:16:20Kurt Metzger?

  Nobody talks about that, but that's got military shit around it since the sixties, no one could go in there. They, and they haven't finished excavating it.

• 2:16:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's.

• 2:16:28Kurt Metzger?

  Never comes up even on Gaia.

• 2:16:30Speaker 03

  No, of course not, you can't investigate it, so, that, see, those are to me where it's more interesting, because just like with the elongated skulls, it's like you get guys like David Childress who talk about it a lot, it's really cool, but it's like, we, you don't have the best measurements, bro. We know you don't have the best measurements, we know that Rockefeller beat you to the punch, so, um, that, and that's a consistent issue, that's just all across the board, you pick, pick the area.

• 2:16:55Kurt Metzger?

  You gotta go excavate the Rockefeller place.

• 2:16:56Speaker 03

  Fuck, yeah, honestly dude.

• 2:16:58Kurt Metzger?

  You know, honestly, that, more than go balcony tappy, go to the fucking.

• 2:17:02Duncan Trussell?

  God, can you imagine?

• 2:17:04Kurt Metzger?

  The Vatican's fucking vault.

• 2:17:05Duncan Trussell?

  The shit they have down there, can you pull up, just so people realize how easy it is to mush skulls into a shape you want? Pull up man's head shape, man's head shape warped by headphones, have you seen this shit? It's the most fucked up thing, these streamers, their heads are getting pushed in, have you seen this?

• 2:17:22Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:17:23Duncan Trussell?

  Oh.

• 2:17:23Kurt Metzger?

  You got a lot of scalp fat, I bet.

• 2:17:25Duncan Trussell?

  Look at this shit.

• 2:17:27Speaker 03

  Huh huh.

• 2:17:27Kurt Metzger?

  Wait.

• 2:17:28Duncan Trussell?

  So you can elongate skulls, look at that.

• 2:17:30Kurt Metzger?

  He must have been too hot in his house.

• 2:17:33Speaker 03

  He took his shirt off, took his shoes off.

• 2:17:35Duncan Trussell?

  As it was in the beginning, so shall it be in the end, look at this, this is what's happening, it's, we're elongating again, we just don't mean to this time.

• 2:17:44Kurt Metzger?

  That guy, how to fix.

• 2:17:46Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that.

• 2:17:46Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, how to fix headphone dent, go on that, go on that, that's gotta be exaggerated.

• 2:17:51Duncan Trussell?

  I don't think so, man.

• 2:17:53Kurt Metzger?

  I understand, I've seen the headphone dent.

• 2:17:56Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that, that's like an elongated skull.

• 2:17:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, you put your thumb in your mouth, you blow it like this.

• 2:18:03Speaker 03

  Jaffe Duck.

• 2:18:05Duncan Trussell?

  I don't think that's fake, man.

• 2:18:06Kurt Metzger?

  Is it permanent head dent?

• 2:18:08Duncan Trussell?

  Tyler explained his head dent.

• 2:18:10Kurt Metzger?

  Actually, here's why I think it's bad on stream, where you're wearing a headset, look.

• 2:18:15Kurt Metzger?

  You like push it in, it pushes the side of my head in, look.

• 2:18:21Kurt Metzger?

  So it makes my head muscle pop out more, even when I take off the headset.

• 2:18:27Kurt Metzger?

  That's the.

• 2:18:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, homo hobble is looking motherfucker right there.

• 2:18:31Kurt Metzger?

  But I don't look like this in real life, it's just because I've worn a headset for fourteen hours.

• 2:18:36Kurt Metzger?

  After it goes away, it's like nor, and like this isn't pushed in, it's normal. Oh, thank god.

• 2:18:41Duncan Trussell?

  But you would dent.

• 2:18:44Duncan Trussell?

  Ugh.

• 2:18:45Kurt Metzger?

  I wear cock headphones and I was wondering.

• 2:18:47Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up that thing that happens to babies, like baby with flat head, like if you, if your parents don't roll you enough, look, just so people know, I mean, this is really easy to shape the head.

• 2:18:55Kurt Metzger?

  Stone creamery, you gotta keep rolling the.

• 2:18:57Duncan Trussell?

  Keep rolling the baby.

• 2:18:58Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:18:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, look at that, so it's like the elongated skull thing, it's like that, but they just kept pushing it out.

• 2:19:06Speaker 03

  Kids have really viscous heads. There was, the thing, what's really interesting about the elongated skulls is how many places it showed up, like if you look at ritual scarring, and as opposed to tattooing, you don't see it all over the world, you see it in places where people emulate, but the elongated skulls, they say is the same kind of thing.

• 2:19:23Kurt Metzger?

  You're saying people that know, no.

• 2:19:26Speaker 03

  They don't know shit.

• 2:19:27Kurt Metzger?

  It's like lip plates, wait, um, do you see what I texted you Tanner? I don't know what this is, but it's an emergency, uh, text sent to me by my fifth wife Jenna, that may, it may be of some importance to this.

• 2:19:40Duncan Trussell?

  So nobody knows why they were stretching people's heads out.

• 2:19:45Kurt Metzger?

  One reason was to keep evil spirits out, according to Dr. Heather Lynn, who we could have calling about it, uh, also maybe to emulate some elongated skull people.

• 2:19:53Speaker 03

  The Native Americans in the Pacific Northwest did it so much, um, that it was all the, all of them in the Cascade region, like west of the Cascades up in Washington and Oregon, all of them, if they were a freeborn, weren't a slave, yes, I know Indians kept slaves, crazy, um, they had their head modified, this was, so it was like all of them. It was ubiquitous, and I mean, it's kind of, when it's that popular of a cultural practice, well, there, there was a Chief Concomly, he talked to Lewis and Clark, and he said that he, he was real shrewd and smart and wise, and he attributed that to his skull, said that the elongated skull makes you a smarter person.

• 2:20:32Duncan Trussell?

  What happens to your brain, is it?

• 2:20:34Speaker 03

  We don't know, because it's kind of hard to test, I mean, we, I mean, I, I'm always advocating for us to clone one person and practice the skull modifying and binding the feet, we'll fucking do two at once.

• 2:20:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:45Speaker 03

  And.

• 2:20:45Kurt Metzger?

  Well, we gotta compete with China, really, it's not what I thought.

• 2:20:48Speaker 03

  If we, we, we're probably drastically, oh fuck, if we're competing with China, we gotta beat that guy, Jesus Christ, that's like the final boss of China, fuck me.

• 2:20:56Kurt Metzger?

  No, that, what is that guy? That's some fucking, that's just some guy from like San Francisco or some shit. It's some Pacific Northwest horse shit.

• 2:21:07Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know, um, okay.

• 2:21:10Kurt Metzger?

  Well, so do you remember when, uh, Daryl James from Secret Space Program, Duncan?

• 2:21:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, of course.

• 2:21:18Kurt Metzger?

  So he said that they had some war, well, this is what his, uh, Robert, the guy, remember, it looks like Mike Pence?

• 2:21:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 2:21:25Kurt Metzger?

  From a cloned, my, okay, he said that they had some war with these, uh, uh, reptilian, whatever, is thirty-two, thirty, three hundred something years ago?

• 2:21:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:21:35Kurt Metzger?

  Where they, uh, took underground and were above ground, so.

• 2:21:38Duncan Trussell?

  You mean thirty-three thousand years ago?

• 2:21:40Kurt Metzger?

  No, thirty-two hundred, thirty, it was that, it was that, okay, now, wait, here's what I remember from that. So anyway, I'm like, as I said, like, you mean like thirty thousand, what do you mean?

• 2:21:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:21:51Kurt Metzger?

  But, um, when is the Bronze Age collapsed, and when is the beginning of iron tools, because iron is the thing, if we ever do ghost roasters, and go to these haunted places to go make fun of ghosts, uh, I'm gonna have pure fat right on me, because that is some, that goes, that's an old ass practice, iron and the fae, or the Tuana, the Dwa, whatever their dumb shit, some Celtic shit, they don't like iron, and it only works above ground.

• 2:22:19Kurt Metzger?

  You know, below ground, so.

• 2:22:20Duncan Trussell?

  You're gonna get possessed, dude, you're gonna be holding your stupid rod.

• 2:22:24Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, no.

• 2:22:25Duncan Trussell?

  Insulting demons, and that's what's gonna take you down.

• 2:22:28Speaker 03

  I do that every Friday night.

• 2:22:29Duncan Trussell?

  Cause you read somewhere that fairies don't like iron, you're gonna go in a haunted house and get fucked up.

• 2:22:33Kurt Metzger?

  We, okay, if you.

• 2:22:34Duncan Trussell?

  I worry about you, man.

• 2:22:35Kurt Metzger?

  I said the fae, I didn't say fairies.

• 2:22:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I know what you meant.

• 2:22:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I didn't mean Blade victims.

• 2:22:43Speaker 03

  The homeless fairies.

• 2:22:44Kurt Metzger?

  It was in, I'm ready for.

• 2:22:48Speaker 03

  Ready for Blade.

• 2:22:50Kurt Metzger?

  The issue was one of these in, uh, the Nazi.

• 2:22:55Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, so anyway, Bronze Age, so copper, you know, you know, Fruit Loops have put copper pyramids around there, sleep in them and shit, because copper is very conducive to that kind of shit.

• 2:23:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:23:06Kurt Metzger?

  But iron is not.

• 2:23:08Duncan Trussell?

  You're gonna get fucked.

• 2:23:09Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, but don't get hung up on that.

• 2:23:11Duncan Trussell?

  Where's Fuadé?

• 2:23:12Kurt Metzger?

  He had to go.

• 2:23:13Duncan Trussell?

  We should ask him about this.

• 2:23:15Speaker 03

  He's gone?

• 2:23:16Duncan Trussell?

  Go ahead, I'm sorry, man, the iron, it's a great dispute.

• 2:23:19Kurt Metzger?

  Bronze Age collapse, that thing that Dale James talked about, I bet that has something to do with that. And I'll bet you, the iron, the beginning of these irons, when you start seeing less of these things in the open, and they're more in an underground setting, because the iron is top.

• 2:23:33Duncan Trussell?

  It repels them.

• 2:23:34Kurt Metzger?

  In some way.

• 2:23:35Duncan Trussell?

  What about the, what do you think about, tell me about the Bronze Age collapse?

• 2:23:37Speaker 03

  Well, it was, they contributed to the sea peoples, the beginning of it anyway, but it was basically all of the major powers at the Bronze Age, the Hittites and the Babylonians and all those guys, they almost all died off. Egypt lost a lot of its influence, and a few, a few places survived, but by and large, like massive amounts of big empires just died off, and we don't know a whole lot about why they attributed it to the sea peoples, but they were just raiders, so we don't, you know, it is a big mystery, honestly. It does look like a kind of, the war might have caused like a societal collapse, like trade routes falling apart, and one nation collapses and doesn't have the money anymore, and so like North Korea starving to death because the Soviet Union collapsed, kind of

• 2:24:22Speaker 03

  thing, right?

• 2:24:23Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 2:24:24Speaker 03

  So, but, again, we don't know for sure. One of the things that's most interesting to me about the Bronze Age collapse is the way that the same arguments that they use against Graham Hancock, they won't use against these guys. It'll be like, well, where's Graham's artifacts? Where's, where's the sandals, Graham? Where's the weapons? Where's the written record? And it's like, well, they've got some people they think might have been the sea peoples, but they don't know for sure, so where's your sea people artifact? Well, we've accepted, we've got a framework, the sea peoples fit into the framework, Atlantis doesn't, so get the fuck out of here with it. It's the same, the standards of evidence don't mean shit to these guys.

• 2:24:59Kurt Metzger?

  And by the way, I thought Atlantis is supposed to be the global civilization in the story, and Posidia is the one, you know, the lost, it wasn't like an island, Posidia, the main city was the island, right?

• 2:25:09Speaker 03

  As far as I understand, but, in all honesty, I'm of the opinion that Atlantis of a story is like, you know, if you go 10,000 years in the future now, they would call us the electric culture, and they would be putting us in the same fucking baskets as the French, so, I mean, however fucking gross that is, but, so, I think that, you know, the Greek version of Atlantis, we get democracy, we get the same metal on the walls, we get warrior poets. The biblical version of the flood, we get monotheism, don't fuck with God, you get fucking screwed, and it's almost like the cultural lens just gets attached, right? Just repeat, rinse and repeat the same thing. So I think, like, I think Easter Island, in all honesty, is my best, my best candidate

• 2:25:53Speaker 03

  for Atlantis, and that's not even the Atlantis.

• 2:25:56Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 2:25:57Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up Easter Island, those Easter Island statues, which are.

• 2:26:00Kurt Metzger?

  You mean, and Atlantis in terms of like some?

• 2:26:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, a lost civil, yes.

• 2:26:05Kurt Metzger?

  A lost civilization, not, yeah, right.

• 2:26:07Speaker 03

  There's a couple of reasons. One, if you look at sea levels, when, if you look at the way that, where Easter Island is situated, when sea levels were lower, it would be almost perfectly in the middle between the Pacific, or between Asia and South America. And in a chain of islands that you could jump between with, pretty much seeing him all the way, you could see the next island before you took off.

• 2:26:28Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, why did they, how come I just now found out that they had bodies the whole time? And when I was a kid, they'd only talk about the heads.

• 2:26:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:26:37Duncan Trussell?

  Didn't it come out recently, that they, for some reason?

• 2:26:39Speaker 03

  Those ones on the top right there, those have been there for, you know, these have been popular, but it's the heads that always get the pictures of them.

• 2:26:47Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's, but like, why, this is what I'm saying, because I'm pretty sure they discovered a head and a body around the same time, right?

• 2:26:54Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:26:55Kurt Metzger?

  So, in all the pop culture of it, they would only show the heads?

• 2:26:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. But why are they buried?

• 2:27:00Kurt Metzger?

  And then, all of a sudden, now they say there's body, and I don't understand what the, why? Like, that makes no sense.

• 2:27:05Duncan Trussell?

  Did they say that they buried some of them, or that like some shit happened?

• 2:27:09Speaker 03

  They, they believed that some shit happened.

• 2:27:11Duncan Trussell?

  That buried them?

• 2:27:12Speaker 03

  Yes, the different, the same guy, geologist Robert Schock, he's the guy that did the Dating on the Sphinx, said that the Sphinx enclosure is way old.

• 2:27:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right.

• 2:27:22Speaker 03

  He thinks that those things were buried like 20,000 years ago.

• 2:27:26Kurt Metzger?

  So, wasn't that the, was it Maori were doing? Who, who lives on Easter Island? I forget the natives, are they?

• 2:27:33Speaker 03

  Polynesians, they're Polynesian.

• 2:27:35Kurt Metzger?

  Some kind of Polynesian. I thought they like had a contest of who could make the best one, and they all bankrupted themselves. That was the story going around.

• 2:27:43Speaker 03

  The story was told, yeah.

• 2:27:44Kurt Metzger?

  And is, that's not true?

• 2:27:45Speaker 03

  No, they, we, we do know that they like wiped out their trees, and that sucked, but, like, the reason that I think that it was a, my biggest smoking gun evidence for it being the center of lost civilization back in the day, is it's, you guys know what an Axis Mundee is? The naval of the world kind of idea?

• 2:28:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:28:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's what I thought Hawaii was.

• 2:28:06Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 2:28:07Kurt Metzger?

  The vagina of the world.

• 2:28:08Speaker 03

  Well, most of your Axis Mundees, all of your other Axis Mundees are in civilization centers, that, you know, the Oracle at Delai, the Saxe of Mont.

• 2:28:18Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's right, Oracle Delphi is an Axis of Mundee.

• 2:28:21Speaker 03

  And so is the Wailing Wall.

• 2:28:22Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's gross.

• 2:28:24Speaker 03

  Well, but check this out, Easter Island is the Axis Mundee for the Polynesian people.

• 2:28:30Kurt Metzger?

  It is?

• 2:28:31Speaker 03

  Out in the far flung, yeah.

• 2:28:32Kurt Metzger?

  That's their fucking holy land.

• 2:28:33Speaker 03

  Just look up Easter Island, Easter Island naval, you just need the word naval, and you'll see these four little stones, uh, no naval, like a belly button, sorry.

• 2:28:42Kurt Metzger?

  E L.

• 2:28:45Speaker 03

  Yep, those little, that's, that's their, that's their Axis Mundee.

• 2:28:51Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 2:28:52Speaker 03

  And, again, it's in a far flung corner of the Polynesian empire, but it used to be in the center, 10,000 years ago, so, or 12,000 years ago. So anyway, in my opinion, I think this is one of the best bits of smoking gun evidence for, there's no other reason to explain why you would have the center of your culture, you know, off in the fucking butt fuck Egypt corner.

• 2:29:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right, that's interesting.

• 2:29:13Duncan Trussell?

  It is insane, we don't know.

• 2:29:15Speaker 03

  We don't.

• 2:29:16Duncan Trussell?

  We just, that's the most incredible thing is, we have really no idea what the fuck got us here.

• 2:29:21Kurt Metzger?

  A couple of rich motherfuckers have a little extra idea, because they stole all this shit early on.

• 2:29:25Duncan Trussell?

  And apparently, they want to keep this information from us, and the closest we get is like mythology, religion, but.

• 2:29:33Kurt Metzger?

  Think about Indiana Jones, what a piece of shit he is.

• 2:29:36Duncan Trussell?

  He was.

• 2:29:37Kurt Metzger?

  It's like he's stealing artifacts, and he, they're all, it belongs in a museum.

• 2:29:41Speaker 03

  The Smithsonian, yeah.

• 2:29:43Duncan Trussell?

  This belongs in a museum?

• 2:29:44Speaker 03

  It's exactly what.

• 2:29:45Kurt Metzger?

  It doesn't, your fucking belongs to people that had it, you fucking.

• 2:29:47Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:29:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Smithsonian's a great example of, you know, I mean, they've got all these things that you can't look at.

• 2:29:54Kurt Metzger?

  But why? Because we might turn into Nazis.

• 2:29:58Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, exactly.

• 2:29:59Kurt Metzger?

  Do they have like a Flint Dibble cardboard thing in the Smithsonian stuff you can't look at?

• 2:30:03Speaker 03

  No, I don't think, it's actually funny, Flint's, he's what you call a public facing scientist now, he doesn't really have a job anymore, he's, he's doing just, just trying to be an internet guy.

• 2:30:16Kurt Metzger?

  If you're trying to be a fucking.

• 2:30:17Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, hold on, scroll, sorry, man, more than 99% of the Smithsonian's 147 million plus specimens are kept in secret, behind the scenes vaults, research centers and warehouses rather than public galleries.

• 2:30:30Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 2:30:31Speaker 03

  I mean, I'll tell you something, it's even more fucked up. You guys know what NAGPRA is?

• 2:30:34Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 2:30:35Speaker 03

  Native American Grace Protection and Repatriation Act.

• 2:30:37Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's where they try to hide shit through.

• 2:30:39Speaker 03

  But, but check this out, there is one place that is immune to NAGPRA, type, add Smithsonian to that, NAGPRA Smithsonian.

• 2:30:47Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Smithsonian's above them.

• 2:30:49Speaker 03

  And all the stuff specifically says, this does not mean Smithsonian, this does not mean Smithsonian, it's legally exempt from NAGPRA.

• 2:30:57Kurt Metzger?

  Why not? Go to the Reddit one, go to the right thing, we're going that, let's see.

• 2:31:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're under a different policy that doesn't, doesn't give the natives strength, the power.

• 2:31:08Duncan Trussell?

  That is crazy.

• 2:31:09Speaker 03

  Which is why they have piles of the shit still. Now, you guys, this is, but you see these guys, they're apologizing immediately, whoa, whoa, look, this is correct, this is how it is, but it's like, dude.

• 2:31:17Kurt Metzger?

  No, the National Museum of the American Indian Act exempts the Smithsonian from NAGPRA, however, they work frequently and easily with tribes to repatriate objects, well, if you have secret shit that they have no right to, that, who cares if you do it frequently? You should be doing it all the time, motherfucker. Yeah, this should be obvious to anybody.

• 2:31:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:31:36Kurt Metzger?

  Even a Flint, it don't take a Flint Dibble to know that if you have secret shit, you're hiding something, fuckface.

• 2:31:41Speaker 03

  Check this, I'll give you one more real quick, because I know we're getting late, but this is, this one's hilarious, you've, you've heard about the giant bones in the Native American mounds, right?

• 2:31:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:31:49Kurt Metzger?

  The NBA bones.

• 2:31:50Speaker 03

  Alright, so.

• 2:31:51Duncan Trussell?

  But maybe, wait, just because I just found out about this, I think because of him, can you summarize it for everybody? Maybe some people haven't heard about this.

• 2:31:58Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 2:31:59Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry.

• 2:32:00Speaker 03

  So the mounds around the Native Americas, the mounds around America, a lot of them had giant bones, when they would be excavated, they would be reported to be like six foot six, seven foot two, eight foot every once in a blue moon.

• 2:32:12Speaker 03

  A lot of these guys were amateurs, but a lot of these guys were trained scientists. Now, this dude comes along named Ailes Hyde Glicka. He becomes the head of anthropology at the Smithsonian, and he debunks all of these things. But check this shit out. He got, he was a medical scientist. He was a physician. And he was so into that

• 2:32:31Kurt Metzger?

  He thought Ashley gave him-

• 2:32:33Speaker 03

  Kind of phrenology, but i- instead of the measuring the bumps on the head, he was into measuring the, all of the bones. All, the, and racial superiority was determined by the length of these different bones. This is a motherfucker who changed from one field to another to prove his racist theory. Is the guy that comes out and he's like, oh yeah, these giant bones, no, they don't exist. Of course, a dumb Indian doesn't have bones like us white guys. And, and the fucking scientists run with it. And, and even in 1959, a dude that was in charge of the humanities department at the Carnegie Museum, excavated a fucking giant, seven foot two skeleton. And they try to debunk it now by, he said that the measurements that he took in the ground indicated an individual that's seven foot two. The debunkers say, oh, well, this is just an in-ground measurement. It's just, he measured it seven foot.

• 2:33:18Speaker 03

  He fucking said it indicates he's-

• 2:33:21Kurt Metzger?

  There's people who are seven foot two.

• 2:33:23Speaker 03

  Thank you. It's like-

• 2:33:24Kurt Metzger?

  That's not a, I thought-

• 2:33:25Duncan Trussell?

  Why is that so-

• 2:33:26Kurt Metzger?

  That's an NBA-

• 2:33:27Speaker 03

  Because it's a holdover from race. It's just like what I was talking earlier about the holdovers, um, from the catastrophism versus gradualism.

• 2:33:34Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, wait, okay, I'm, I'm an idiot, so let me try to summarize. This guy said that, like, tall people, like Caucasians are tall, therefore good. Suddenly in these mountains, they're uncovering tall people, thus fucking up his whole stupid theory.

• 2:33:49Kurt Metzger?

  They're short kings.

• 2:33:50Duncan Trussell?

  And he makes it his mission to go in and debunk it because then his whole life's work would be out the window. It's racist piece of shit.

• 2:33:57Speaker 03

  That's exactly it.

• 2:33:57Duncan Trussell?

  That is crazy.

• 2:33:59Speaker 03

  And he was also, uh, back in those days, he also crucified a number of archaeologists publicly, or pub, just their career wise, because he, uh, was pushing against, anybody couldn't have been in the Americas more than 3,000 years ago. So if you pushed for people in the Americas to have been more than 3,000 years ago in 1930, the fucking head of the anthropology department at Smithsonian would fucking tattoo you. It's just like in the Clovis first thing. It's just like Clovis first. And, and all these guys will be like, oh, well, Clovis first was a one-off thing. It was, it's like, no, dude, this is fucking archaeology in the- Yeah, see, that was just a scientific-

• 2:34:33Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, where was Clovis again?

• 2:34:35Speaker 03

  Clovis is, uh, New Mexico, but the Clovis first thing basically is the, the America, the first people that came into America came through the Bering Land Bridge, through Siberia.

• 2:34:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's okay.

• 2:34:45Speaker 03

  And 12,000 years ago or so. And so there can't be anybody that came here 20,000 years ago. And then we start finding things like those white sands, New Mexico footprints from 30,000. And all of a sudden, they're just like all fucked up.

• 2:34:55Kurt Metzger?

  And by the way, it's not fantastical-

• 2:34:57Speaker 03

  It's not.

• 2:34:57Kurt Metzger?

  To say that, no, there's more people here older. Like, that's the part I don't get is why that's such a threat? And it's only political reasons. It's always political reasons.

• 2:35:07Duncan Trussell?

  Here's what's really weird about this. Pull up the, you know, remember when they found those tiny little hobbit people? Like, that was okay to talk about. Little people, fine.

• 2:35:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:35:16Duncan Trussell?

  Big people, no, that never fucking happened. Pull up, yeah, like, this has been, like, they found bones of these cuties, like-

• 2:35:24Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, bones.

• 2:35:25Duncan Trussell?

  These, they were, I mean, they were, they-

• 2:35:27Kurt Metzger?

  They were hobbits, they called them.

• 2:35:28Duncan Trussell?

  Little hobbits, and they were like, were cuties. They, some people claim to see them still.

• 2:35:32Kurt Metzger?

  You call them mignon's.

• 2:35:33Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, little filet mignon.

• 2:35:35Kurt Metzger?

  Cuties. Mignon?

• 2:35:37Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, mignon. And yeah, th- these are cuties, or it's okay to talk about the cuties, but you can't talk about the giants, or you're a fucking kook.

• 2:35:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, that's exactly it. And, and again, I think honestly, I think a lot of this just goes to like connection with the Bible.

• 2:35:52Duncan Trussell?

  Um, cause there were giants in those days.

• 2:35:54Speaker 03

  And, and like-

• 2:35:55Kurt Metzger?

  How about Greek fucking mythology that-

• 2:35:57Duncan Trussell?

  The Cyclops, all that shit.

• 2:35:59Kurt Metzger?

  Why, like, dude, think about the Odyssey controversy of the movie, The Odyssey.

• 2:36:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, ugh.

• 2:36:04Kurt Metzger?

  That I'm like, I have-

• 2:36:05Duncan Trussell?

  This is the dumbest controversy.

• 2:36:07Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not, well, oh, you're surprised that they fucking-

• 2:36:10Duncan Trussell?

  No, it just felt like one of those culture things they jammed at us to fight over. Like, who gives a fuck?

• 2:36:15Kurt Metzger?

  That's exactly what it was.

• 2:36:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:36:16Kurt Metzger?

  Again, nobody, it's like same as the Olympics where they had that weird blue guy that looked like, um, what's his name from Kill Tony, uh?

• 2:36:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. I know what you're talking about.

• 2:36:24Kurt Metzger?

  I forget his name, but, but they fucking, uh-

• 2:36:26Duncan Trussell?

  Rest in peace, he passed away unfortunately.

• 2:36:28Kurt Metzger?

  No, he didn't, did he?

• 2:36:29Duncan Trussell?

  I think he did. Look at the blue guy from Olympics died. I could be wrong.

• 2:36:31Kurt Metzger?

  No, not the, the comic from Kill Tony's alive. William Montgomery's alive.

• 2:36:34Duncan Trussell?

  No, Montgomery's great. No, I think the blue-

• 2:36:37Kurt Metzger?

  But there's a blue guy that looked like William Montgomery.

• 2:36:39Duncan Trussell?

  The blue guy from the Olympics.

• 2:36:41Kurt Metzger?

  From the dive, Wizard of Eye, Wizard of Oz poisoning?

• 2:36:43Duncan Trussell?

  I think he died.

• 2:36:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, what a loss. So remember people going, what is this, but never, never-

• 2:36:48Duncan Trussell?

  I could be wrong, he might still be around. I'm sorry if he's still around. I mean, I'm not sorry he's still around, I'm sorry he died.

• 2:36:54Kurt Metzger?

  He died of, uh-

• 2:36:54Speaker 03

  Go all the way with it, dog.

• 2:36:55Kurt Metzger?

  No, you're talking about this guy.

• 2:36:57Speaker 03

  Blue motherfucker?

• 2:36:58Duncan Trussell?

  No, this guy, this guy was the original Smurf.

• 2:37:01Kurt Metzger?

  Go back to the other guy.

• 2:37:02Duncan Trussell?

  Not him, that was not, that guy was not at the Olympics.

• 2:37:04Kurt Metzger?

  Go back to the other guy. That's weird though, it's like a version of him. Okay, so anyway, people were complaining about this, cause it is weird as shit. It's some Jungian cult Dionysus bullshit, but whatever, it's France, they're disgusting. Um, the point is, why would you complain about this if you're Christian? Cause it's the Olympics, the fucking Eugenics Festival to the giant gods that you would call Nephilim. You, you, like, why do we even do the Olympics? Uh, like, I don't understand, like, everybody thinks these things are like somehow compatible things.

• 2:37:39Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, right.

• 2:37:40Kurt Metzger?

  And they're not, and, and, um, they're all the same thing. Everybody's got giants, and what's the other thing they all got? Fucking dragons.

• 2:37:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 2:37:49Kurt Metzger?

  I don't want to incur the wrath of Joy Behar, and I'm not saying this from any kind of, you know, uh, uh, documents that were maybe misfiled in any way that are, you're not supposed to talk about. But, uh, I think dragons are real.

• 2:38:02Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I mean, you know, maybe dinosaurs, you know, dragons turned into dinosaurs.

• 2:38:06Kurt Metzger?

  Well, was a plume serpent a feathered-

• 2:38:08Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, pull up pterodactyl.

• 2:38:10Kurt Metzger?

  You know, dinosaurs got feathers.

• 2:38:12Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up a pterodactyl.

• 2:38:13Speaker 03

  Well, you'd look at a-

• 2:38:15Duncan Trussell?

  Flying fucking lizard, dragon.

• 2:38:16Speaker 03

  There's one other thing too that they all have is that's the flood myth. Now, almost every culture on the planet has the myth of some great flood, not just like-

• 2:38:23Kurt Metzger?

  Now, does a myth mean, um, uh, uh-

• 2:38:27Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, that's a dragon.

• 2:38:28Kurt Metzger?

  Remember in the Me Too era where they would go, the myth of, of women lying about-

• 2:38:32Duncan Trussell?

  Look at that dragon, look, that's a dragon, pull that up.

• 2:38:34Speaker 03

  It's a myth.

• 2:38:35Kurt Metzger?

  And I like, do you mean like it's never like Zeus or something?

• 2:38:38Duncan Trussell?

  Dragon, duck.

• 2:38:40Kurt Metzger?

  That's not a dragon.

• 2:38:41Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, obviously it's not a dragon, it's a pterodactyl, but I'm just saying, these things did exist.

• 2:38:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah, what, who said they didn't exist?

• 2:38:48Duncan Trussell?

  Well, this, this, if we saw this-

• 2:38:50Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Joy Behar's against these.

• 2:38:51Duncan Trussell?

  I would think that was a dragon if I saw it in, like, in the rock or like the bones. I would have been like, that's a fucking dragon.

• 2:38:57Kurt Metzger?

  I would think so.

• 2:38:58Duncan Trussell?

  It is a dragon, it's a flying lizard.

• 2:39:01Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, right.

• 2:39:02Duncan Trussell?

  Look, it's a flying lizard, it's a, what do you, call it whatever you want, that's a fucking dragon, you assholes.

• 2:39:08Kurt Metzger?

  It's a, it's like saying pseudoscience or fake science.

• 2:39:10Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 2:39:11Kurt Metzger?

  The point is to get you in my, uh, marketing box.

• 2:39:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:39:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, you'll, you'll think like me now.

• 2:39:16Kurt Metzger?

  It's a kill box for your mind that I create around you, based on authority and, uh, you know, semantical arguments like that.

• 2:39:22Speaker 03

  And that's, that's where it really like, it crushes me where they do that shit with science. Like, I quote Sagan all the time because of, like, one quote of his where he says that, "Science is more than a body of knowledge. It's a way of skeptically, it's a way of thinking, a way of skeptically interrogating the universe with a fine understanding of human fallibility." That last part's so fucking important. It just, it's not, it's a tool, it's something we use, but it's like, we have to like, you have, you have to, to use it right. If you just, you can't say, I, I want to believe and I don't want to believe are the same fucking thing. It's just a knee-jerk bullshit reaction.

• 2:39:58Kurt Metzger?

  Do you remember that poster from X-Files, "I want to believe"?

• 2:40:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:40:01Kurt Metzger?

  What, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. To this day, I don't understand why, what do you mean, you want to believe? Why would you put that? Are you fucking retarded?

• 2:40:11Speaker 03

  My ex is cheating on me and I fucking know it, and so, want to believe she's not.

• 2:40:15Kurt Metzger?

  I'm, I just need to distract from my constant cuckoldry, is why I want to believe.

• 2:40:20Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't that your other band?

• 2:40:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, the Constant Cuckoldry?

• 2:40:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:40:24Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we were playing in, uh, Tel Aviv with, uh-

• 2:40:26Speaker 03

  I thought that was a Katie Lang song. Constant cuckoldry.

• 2:40:30Kurt Metzger?

  You're thinking of, um, I ate a bad clam and got real sick. Okay.

• 2:40:33Duncan Trussell?

  Guys, I gotta give, I, I'm so sorry.

• 2:40:35Kurt Metzger?

  Let's wrap this one up.

• 2:40:36Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 2:40:37Duncan Trussell?

  You're amazing, man, thank you so much.

• 2:40:39Speaker 03

  Dude, it's so, it's so good to talk to you.

• 2:40:40Duncan Trussell?

  Will you come back on sometime?

• 2:40:41Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 2:40:42Kurt Metzger?

  I think if I sum up what Dan's getting at is Hitler had some good ideas, and I think, when Dibble will agree.

• 2:40:48Speaker 03

  Well, you do-

• 2:40:49Kurt Metzger?

  Not the murder, but the ones about, I think, uh, was it like train timeliness or something?

• 2:40:53Duncan Trussell?

  Can I also sum up his ideas?

• 2:40:55Kurt Metzger?

  Go ahead.

• 2:40:55Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, like, like you said, Hitler had some good ideas.

• 2:40:58Kurt Metzger?

  Everybody has good ideas sometimes.

• 2:41:00Duncan Trussell?

  And civilization is actually 600 years old.

• 2:41:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is, it's actually, um, you know, it, the whole southern hemisphere is not real.

• 2:41:08Duncan Trussell?

  Got it.

• 2:41:08Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I knew that.

• 2:41:09Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean, England's not real, clearly.

• 2:41:12Kurt Metzger?

  Dinosaurs were flat.

• 2:41:13Speaker 03

  A whole country full of people that are inbred with bad teeth is, I mean, how'd they conquer the world? This is, this is all bullshit.

• 2:41:18Duncan Trussell?

  Satellites are held up by balloons.

• 2:41:20Kurt Metzger?

  This is why you can't blame King Charles for, for, uh, packing UK with Pakistanis, because I mean, it's a lateral move, British, let's, let's be honest.

• 2:41:28Speaker 03

  They're called Pakistanis, what are you fucking supposed to do with them? You pack them right on you?

• 2:41:32Duncan Trussell?

  Well-

• 2:41:33Kurt Metzger?

  Inbred people with bad teeth, you're telling me there not a lot of crossover there? Of course, there's going to be a lot of immigration.

• 2:41:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:41:40Speaker 03

  Pack it up, pack it in. Inbreeding in humans occurs when your sister is looking pretty good and you're drunk.

• 2:41:46Kurt Metzger?

  You guys practice outcess, that's weird.

• 2:41:49Duncan Trussell?

  Outcessed.

• 2:41:50Kurt Metzger?

  That's it, yo, I did not invent that term, hold on. Nick Mullen invented that term as far as I know.

• 2:41:57Speaker 03

  That is great.

• 2:41:58Kurt Metzger?

  But I've never forgot it, yeah. Outcess. It was for a character, we were making a show with Todd James, his animated show, and there's, I was going to do the voice of some like gobbled thing that, that's under, undetermined, it's in a fantasy setting, right? We don't know what he is exactly, and we just know that they prag, they only do, he's like, ew, you guys do outcess? And then at the end, we find out that he was just Greek. That's Nick Mullen's idea, don't come at me Greeks.

• 2:42:26Duncan Trussell?

  Well, thank y'all for tuning in. This has been an incredible episode, and remember, God loves you and you're forgiven if you ask.

• 2:42:37Kurt Metzger?

  But you gotta ask, Flint.

• 2:42:39Duncan Trussell?

  Dibbler.

• 2:42:40Speaker 03

  New bit Fortnite bitch.

• 2:42:44Kurt Metzger?

  Is that true?

• 2:42:44Speaker 03

  I can't even crank 90s.