Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling (Running Point, The Mindy Project, Never Have I Ever) is an Emmy-nominated writer, actor, and producer. Mindy joins the Armchair Expert to discuss how she is the only the second person Dax has ever worn a suit for, relate over the sexiness and status marker of a good yard, and ask whether one can be Indian on the west side of LA. Mindy and Dax talk about her parents coming from two different parts of India and their meet cute in Africa, how every show she makes has a slow motion shot of a shirtless man’s torso, and why accidentally breaking her costar’s nose during a play taught her the true meaning of ‘the show must go on.’ Mindy explains how Reese Witherspoon convinced her not to wait to have kids, developing the assumption that she wouldn’t be truly great in anything unless she wrote it herself, and how her relationship with her mother has actually continued since her passing. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Lily Padman.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Now this.

• 0:06Dax Shepard?

  People were curious what I wore a suit for.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I also posted a picture and said, this is the face of someone trying to play it cool. So a lot of people had their guesses.

• 0:19Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh. It was for Mindy Kaling.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Big deal.

• 0:21Dax Shepard?

  I want to say Mindy Kaling's caling it, but it doesn't really work, but I want to say it.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:26Dax Shepard?

  She's caling it. Still doesn't work. Let me think. Third time. Mindy Kaling's caling it.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 0:32Dax Shepard?

  Check her out this fall on NBC. Um, no, but what a delight. We've been bagging.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Oh, since day one.

• 0:41Dax Shepard?

  Day one. Put it in the atmosphere, the universe, and boy, if you're patient, sometimes dreams can come true.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  They can indeed. You gotta wait. You gotta wait. That's the key. But they do.

• 0:56Dax Shepard?

  What a joy. And how sweet. We were like, did you hear how much we want you on? And she's like, yeah, I thought it was a bit. She's just, we're all, what's wrong with all of us?

• 1:08Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:08Dax Shepard?

  She's a queen.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  She's a queen.

• 1:10Dax Shepard?

  She's a queen.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  She just, uh, she just got a star.

• 1:14Dax Shepard?

  She did.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  On the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I saw some pictures. Gorgeous.

• 1:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, Mindy Kaling. We're so excited she is here today. Award-winning actor, screenwriter and producer, The Mindy Project, The Office, Never Have I Ever, Sex Lives of College Girls, Inside Out, and her new series, out on Netflix now, Running Point. What a delight.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  So special.

• 1:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I really like her. Please enjoy Mindy Kaling.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Kaling it.

• 1:40Dax Shepard?

  Who's caling it. This fall on NBC's Really Great Station. We get support from Quince.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts. And Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself. Because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 2:08Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the Gift that keeps on giving their high quality staples are made with premium materials like a hundred percent Mongolian cashmere, 14 karat gold and Italian leather, full on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 2:35Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California. And I'm so excited and I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 2:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here and it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 3:10Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:41Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I need to talk about something that doesn't get enough respect. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese. This is not a casual burger. This is a crafted burger. We're talking a hundred percent fresh beef cooked right when you order it. No artificial flavors, no fillers, no preservatives, just beef doing what beef is supposed to do. And here's a detail I love. There's a cowbell sound in the kitchen. When somebody orders a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a cowbell goes off and the grill master throws a fresh patty down. That's like having your own entrance music at McDonald's. I want a cowbell for everything in life. The onions are hand topped by someone who just knows the right amount. Two slices of cheese laid out in a star pattern. So every Single bite gets cheese and two pickles side by side. So you're never in a pickle desert.

• 4:26Dax Shepard?

  Every bite is accounted for. Someone engineered this thing with love. I love a quarter.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Me too. That's my order. It's a quarter pounder with cheese. I love it. I didn't know they put so much effort that they did a star formation. I should have known because you can taste.

• 4:43Dax Shepard?

  You can taste it. Yeah, the love. Don't tell anyone this, but I'll put two of them back.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 4:49Dax Shepard?

  The quarter pounder with cheese with fries and a drink now $8 for a limited time only, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  So nice to see you.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Nice to see you. How's it going?

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 5:29Dax Shepard?

  Hi, nice to meet you. Welcome.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Handsome and put together.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  You're number two for that?

• 5:37Dax Shepard?

  No, I'm the second person I've ever worn a suit before.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  It's a good one.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  You deserve it.

• 5:41Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's a tux, I think.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Are you going somewhere?

• 5:45Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  No, it's literally for you.

• 5:47Speaker 02

  I'm feeling vulnerable and being like, no, no, that's a bit. He's not gonna have to go somewhere outdoors.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  No.

• 5:51Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  You look amazing.

• 5:53Dax Shepard?

  I think you very much deserve to be dressed up for, and I don't like dressing up, so it's a gesture to tell you how grateful I am.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  I'm really.

• 6:02Dax Shepard?

  I couldn't go all the way with the shoes. I apologize. I couldn't do the dress shoes. That would be too distracting.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  It's a little Southern California.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  In it.

• 6:11Dax Shepard?

  You never lived on the west side, did you?

• 6:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 6:14Dax Shepard?

  There was a pizzeria Italian joint out there called Earth, Wind and Flower. And the owner had a ponytail and he was in every commercial. And he would go, classic Italian food with that California flair. And he would pull his ponytail around.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  He's like, this is synonymous with that SoCal vibe. That's how I feel about your vans. I feel like I do not scream west side at all.

• 6:40Dax Shepard?

  I don't think so. Early on, you may have found yourself living there because I lived there the first 10 years I lived here before I realized that's a terrible place to live.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 6:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Well, it's like a rookie mistake. When you first move here, you're like, I gotta be by the beach. So you moved there and then it takes you four hours to get anywhere. I lived on the west side at first.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  You did? Where'd you live?

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Barrington in Santa Monica. You know, that really cool hip part of town that's in the middle of nothing.

• 7:05Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Monica, I mean this seriously, can you be Indian and live on the west side effectively?

• 7:11Speaker 01

  I love this question right out the gate. It's very white.

• 7:15Dax Shepard?

  White.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  White, as we would say. It's funny because I grew up in Georgia.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Okay, so you might be used to the west side vibe.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  I am used to feeling like I'm the only person who's brown, but it almost gives me like, I mean, we're gonna definitely get so into this type of conversation. I get a sort of high out of being one of the white people.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  Do you feel more special?

• 7:39Speaker 01

  A little bit.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Well, I just wonder practically, I like need to eat Indian food and ethnic food a lot. So this area Hancock Park, that works for me.

• 7:49Dax Shepard?

  There's so many overlaps, but this will be a difference.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Well, first we, I mean, I,

• 7:54Speaker 01

  you are my number one get on this show. I'm serious.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  So can I say that about 10 years ago, I had heard from some of my friends. They were like, you know, you're sometimes mentioned on Armchair and I love the show and you should go on. I always think whenever anyone references me, even when they're like, I love Mindy, that I'm like, they're just saying that, but what they really mean is they hate me. This is like a mental illness.

• 8:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:18Speaker 02

  And forget about being mentioned on some sketch. Showers, The Simpsons, or anything like that.

• 8:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, SNL.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  I live in terror for that, but I, on some level, thought, and this is gonna sound crazy, that it would be like, oh, they think it'd be campy if they had a circus dwarf on. Wouldn't that be goofy? And it's stupid and it's not real.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  So sad.

• 8:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's comforting and I'm happy you said that because yes, I will not read a single thing unless my mother, she knows me enough. Once every three years, something is written so perfectly that I can't find something in the subtext I'm certain is a burn about me.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's scary.

• 8:53Dax Shepard?

  It's terrible.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  I think I might have told you this or told it to your people. I had only done one podcast and it went so badly that I was like, I think it's not for me.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've heard she doesn't do podcasts.

• 9:05Dax Shepard?

  We've made a lot of just straight to you pledges on air going, Mindy, I promise you, you don't suck at it. I know you're great at it and you just need to come in and do it.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Thank you and I'm so excited to be here and also I feel really honored to be here. I love the show and I know this may make you feel uncomfortable to hear this since I'm just facing you telling me to compliment.

• 9:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it will and I want it.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Okay, well then good, because this is, I think, a good one. You make everyone sound like the best version of themselves and they're people that, not that I didn't care about them, but I didn't know them or think about them. And then I now love them and I'm a fan.

• 9:44Dax Shepard?

  I'll go a step further. We have had multiple guests on I was certain I hated. Forget even ambivalent about. I'm like, I don't like that guy. He's been a dick to me every time I've seen him or I don't like this person for X, Y, and Z. And I too am just as shocked and I think it's weirdly comforting and makes me optimistic that even someone I'm convinced I don't like, if I sit down with them for two hours and I hear about them and where they're from, inevitably I always like them.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  To who haven't you liked?

• 10:13Dax Shepard?

  In 850 guests, we've had like three people I didn't like and they weren't celebrities. They were experts that we just couldn't do it. Or maybe so smart and esoteric or something. I don't know.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  Because we just talk about real stuff, so the headlines become mute. And then you just get to know a real person and you're always gonna find something you like about a person.

• 10:36Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  There's some exceptions.

• 10:38Dax Shepard?

  We're gonna come back, you know, make you uncomfortable and I'm gonna give Monica some time to prepare because she wouldn't even come in just now. She was hiding in the house.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  I said, play it cool.

• 10:46Dax Shepard?

  I know, but that's part of what's cool about you.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  I'm already loving where this is heading.

• 10:51Dax Shepard?

  I just think you're hyper talented. I used to go to the set of Mindy to say hi to Mike Weaver. So for people who don't know, Mike Weaver was the DP on Parenthood the first two years and then he went to your show as a director.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  The great Michael Weaver.

• 11:05Dax Shepard?

  The greatest and the most gorgeous.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 11:07Dax Shepard?

  Studly man.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  And the most beloved by cast and crew. He's our producing director for this new show, Running Point.

• 11:16Dax Shepard?

  I saw him in the credits and I got excited.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Beloved.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 11:19Dax Shepard?

  But I'd go say hi to him and I would hope to God you would come out of the soundstage at some point so I can meet you. I just genuinely have been wanting to meet you for over 10 years. I'm a huge fan.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Can you take any of this in or no?

• 11:31Speaker 02

  No, I can. And Monica, I don't know if this goes to what we're saying before. I don't hear this a lot from straight white men that they're huge fans and not that it should be more than when an Indian teenage girl says it, but it's just so much more unusual. So thank you.

• 11:43Dax Shepard?

  So yeah, I think you're hyper talented. I love your acting. I think you're a fucking babe. I think you're hot. Everything about you.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  It's all coming at you.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  When you've only mostly been valued from people who are like, she's so smart and so funny. I'm embarrassed how much that is affecting me.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  I can relate. It's the best compliment to get. I hate to say it.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Am I in love with you? Am I gonna try to kiss you? Kristen, I consider a friendly acquaintance.

• 12:10Dax Shepard?

  She would totally allow it. I always say if you're gonna say about me, either I was a genius or the funniest person alive or hot, I'm picking hot across the board.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Hot across the board.

• 12:19Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I didn't have it.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Exactly. It's the most LA thing about me. I mean, as somebody who was straight up unattractive in high school and then has lost and gained the same 50 pounds over the course of my life, that kind of compliment feels so distant. I'm sorry, Kristen Bell.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  We don't know how this is ending. We do not know how this is ending.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  You probably can't do this for security reasons, but. I'm 45 now. So when I pulled in, I have a thing now. I don't know if you have this where I'm like, oh, Dax has a shit together. I've never seen your home.

• 12:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, right.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  I've never seen the layout. I'm a big yard person because I'm from the East Coast, but it's again, close to my ethnic food. This feels like there's a place where you can work separate from where you live and I don't want to.

• 13:02Dax Shepard?

  Everyone already knows where I live. It's fine. We gotta give credit to Kristen a lot.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  No, fuck her.

• 13:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we're over her.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  She's Mindy's enemy now.

• 13:10Dax Shepard?

  She had her 18 years. It's time to.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  She has my man. She's done.

• 13:17Dax Shepard?

  But yes, the yard for me too. I'm from Michigan and the definition of having made it was you would have a big yard. You could run around it.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  And that's not a very common LA thing. People get rid of the yards to put in pools.

• 13:27Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Okay, Monty, do you want to share? Do you want to go later?

• 13:32Speaker 01

  I don't know. You go.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Can I talk about Monica for a second? So you're younger than me, but there's not a lot of Indian women. Now there's a lot more.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:39Dax Shepard?

  Too many, some would argue.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  They're taking over.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  10 or 12 years ago, is that when you guys started this?

• 13:45Dax Shepard?

  Only seven, but I like that you've made it bigger because that feels good.

• 13:48Speaker 02

  I remember hearing about you because you were becoming well known because of it. And I remember thinking, not that I'm keeping tabs on the other South Asians, but it was like, oh, there's another person who's out here.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  In the group.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  In the group. And then having listened to you.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  I'm kind of a repressed person and I have four friends. And there was just an openness about you that honestly, I don't know, this is offensive to South Asian people listening. Oh, she was, I think, South Asian and raised by a family that seems pretty traditional in some ways, but she's not talking like somebody who is. That's one of the reasons why I didn't do podcasts. I am repressed. I am from the East Coast. Pretty traditional upbringing. Don't air out stuff, but you never say anything that would bring shame to your family.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Oh, she does.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  At least not in the ones that I have heard.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  I definitely do. I feel lucky that my parents, they're actually not that traditional. They're both from India. My dad came when he was in his twenties, but his personality, just very specific. Is not traditional. He's like, I don't really give a fuck.

• 14:54Dax Shepard?

  That helps right away.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're both from Carroll. And my mom came when she was six. She grew up in Savannah.

• 14:59Speaker 02

  Coming over in your sixes, major.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  Much different, but my grandparents, very traditional. And I got kind of lucky in the personality department because my dad was just like, just do whatever. He's just relieved that I'm out here, I'm doing well, and I have money, just being candid. He's just like, oh, my God, she has enough money to live and she doesn't need us anymore for that. So they don't care. And I think he kind of gets a kick out of it. There's people at his office that are like, oh, I heard Monica say this about you. We also talk about them.

• 15:28Dax Shepard?

  We talk about a show probably more than anybody else.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  Yes. And we say he invented the simulation. So all of us are a member of his sim. But we say gross, bad, bad, bad stuff. I just talked to one of my friends from home and her mom was like, Monica, I've been listening to you and I'm gonna have to talk to your mom. Well, okay. Then I got really self-conscious. I was like, oh, yeah, my friends' moms? That's who I'm bringing shame to for the most part.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  But I have to say, that is a really rare gift that you were given. And I feel that way about my parents because they're in some ways very traditional, but I got went into this path that they completely love and supported, even though I think it worried them. They were able to sublimate their own fears to support me. And I know it wasn't easy for them, but it is a gift because I don't think that many people who've parents have immigrated here, given the challenges and to have their kids go into the arts, and not just the arts, the arts where you're talking about your feelings and your truths.

• 16:29Speaker 01

  Well, an art that didn't exist 11 years ago, maybe.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  They're like, what is this thing you're doing? But also, again, not to throw so many compliments at you.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Please do. I love it.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  You're someone I could point to, like, well, I'm going out there to do this thing. There's other people. There's Mindy. There's Aziz. I think that's it. But I could maybe be in that category. And you're like a North Star, for sure.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  That's really nice. Thank you.

• 16:53Dax Shepard?

  This can often happen to the best of us. If you hear someone being completely candid, and you have told yourself that you're not allowed To be and somehow this person's doing it and getting away with it. Sometimes it can lead to some resentment. It kind of shatters your story a little bit. We went and saw Hassan stand up and Monica had kind of a breakthrough. She's like, I've been hiding my Indianness my whole life, thinking I could only succeed if I assimilated. And here this person just showed me, no, I could have embraced it the whole time and done the same thing. And she lovely enough and is confident enough, could be happy about that, but could have also fucked her up a little bit.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, about the candor thing. I mean, I think that's what's intoxicating about listening to this podcast is how candid people are. I don't know if you guys have heard this before, but it unlocks the listener. When you're talking to Bradley Cooper and you guys have such a history and so much in common and are so open about sobriety and the mistakes you guys have made and what you've learned from them. It makes me, even as I'm listening to it, being like, God, I wish there was someone in the car with me right now. So I could be open with them too. But so you saw Hassan.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Yes, we saw him live. I thought it was incredible, but also the whole audience, it was like 90% brown people. And this is my baggage. I walked in and I was like, oh my God, there's so many Indian people here. It's just old history. It's the hurdle I have to jump before I'm like, it's fine. But it was just weird to sit there and be like, the reception's amazing. I could have leaned in, but I took a big pivot the other way.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  So I was not raised around a lot of other Indian people. I was born and raised in suburban Boston.

• 18:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, what's Cambridge like? Is it a lot of professors?

• 18:31Speaker 02

  It's professors and children professors. And then my parents are from two different parts of India. So my dad is from South India. My mom, she's Bengali and she's from Calcutta, but they met in Africa and they were the only two Indian people. My dad speaks Tamil and my mom spoke Bengali and Hindi. The only language they had in common was English.

• 18:49Dax Shepard?

  What were they doing in Africa?

• 18:50Speaker 02

  My mom was a doctor at a hospital that my dad was helping build in Lagos, Nigeria.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  That's a meekie.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  It's a meekie, an architect and an OBGYN. And so they met and it was one of those things where I think literally their African friends were like, we know two Indian people. You should be together.

• 19:05Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  And they were right. But it's sort of a nuance that I think only Indian people get, which is that culturally, it's so different in the seventies to be Bengali and be Tamil. And my dad was far more of a traditional Hindu family. My mom was also Hindu, but the way they celebrate it is so different regionally. My dad doesn't celebrate Diwali and my mom does, and my mom doesn't know about some of my dad's holidays. But the only reason I'm bringing it up is not to give like a long boring history about how my family met, but when they met each other, the culture that they had in common was like, okay, we speak English and we're moving to the United States.

• 19:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's really interesting.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  And so I wasn't raised speaking any Indian languages, which I think is huge, crucial actually, to the way you're brought up. And I now have adult Indian friends or ones that I made in college where they were raised kind of within their community. You'll hear people that they're raised in a super Indian neighborhood in New Jersey or in Michigan, and there'll be these little pockets, Artesia, parts of Chicago. But we weren't that. So all of our friends were sort of my mom and dad's white coworkers and their children. So my dad sort of made a decision that he's like, I'm in America, I'm gonna love the Red Sox, I'm gonna love the Celtics, I'm gonna get into sports. And that culturally, we're diving in. We're still Hindu, we still do holidays, we still were raised eating Indian

• 20:20Speaker 02

  food. But culturally, I didn't have this community around me of like auntie culture and all that.

• 20:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I know. That's the huston. Half the jokes are about the aunties and aunts.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Auntie culture, and I relate to it, but I don't know it.

• 20:32Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  I actually have my literal aunts, but I don't have that extended family. So when I started doing comedy, I didn't have this rich background of observations about Indian culture and other friends to banter with about it.

• 20:45Dax Shepard?

  The Toyota Camry joke.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 20:47Dax Shepard?

  Which is so good.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Is that a famous?

• 20:49Dax Shepard?

  That's a huston joke. Yeah, it's like the official car of Indians.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, and like I hear that and I think it's funny and I relate to it.

• 20:56Dax Shepard?

  I had one.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  I didn't really have that. And so when I would think what I want to write about, the Indian identity didn't bubble up to the surface. And then my first thing that I did was this play called Matt and Ben, where I played Ben Affleck, right? And then I got hired on The Office and it was also 2001 to 2004. Hollywood is not clamoring for shows and TV and books about your identity. That was, let's be honest, a 2018 thing.

• 21:19Dax Shepard?

  We needed streaming and niche audiences, which turned out to not be niche audiences.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  That's so well put. They would take a risk on shows like Never Have I Ever.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:27Dax Shepard?

  And then it gets 40 million households viewing it.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  Thank you for knowing that.

• 21:31Dax Shepard?

  It's not a niche at all. In fact, it's one of our biggest shows.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  You know, I feel even now, very sensitive about it.

• 21:38Dax Shepard?

  By the way, I hadn't heard this. I just read enough articles about you today that those people had heard about it. One article was talking about that you've had a lot of criticism for not having more diversity on your cast. And I was just getting defensive of you. And I was thinking, all writers have the obligation to write their experience. And your experience was being surrounded by white people. So to have created like 227 in the Indian community, that would have been fraudulent.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Yes and no. I of course have the defense mechanism, which is like, I was doing the best with what I had. It came from The Office. It was number 11 on the call sheet. No one was like, she'll be the one that has her own show. I just had to be like, I think I will be, even though I'm getting no feedback that corroborates that ambition. And then when I did my own show, 2011 or 2012, I was like, okay, I gotta do things exactly like it was in The Office, because that was like a big hit. But you know how they say, the criticism that hurts the deepest is the ones that you're like, ah, it's kind of true. When I look back on The Mindy Project, I do wish that I had paid more attention to that. Every Wednesday morning, we got the ratings from the night before, and I was consumed with fear. I wasn't thinking in those terms.

• 22:40Dax Shepard?

  You were hoping you could keep yourself at the party. You hadn't yet thought you could bring other people.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  No, and honestly, I was a dark-skinned Indian woman that weighed 150 pounds. That was the lead of a show.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  And so I was like, man, this looks pretty damn diverse, in my opinion. I hope this is palatable enough. I hope it's not defensive, and I hope it's just putting you guys in my mindset at the time. But I think after that, I had opportunities. I was like 37 when That show ended. Never have I ever came on the heels of that show and I could not be more proud of the diversity in that and inclusivity. But that criticism is one, even to this day, I look at the different projects I do and I'm like, how can it look modern? How can I not be kicking myself later? Well, also being true, you know, we've also seen the shows where you're like, this is the most cynical diversity I've ever seen.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  It does not work. It's fragile and insincere. We've all seen those shows where we're like, hey, audiences are smart, but the thing I've learned now is if you do spend a little extra time, you do get the right casting director, you can have these really great dynamics, like Maitri Ramakrishnan and her two friends on the show. One's East Asian, one's black, and they're the most adorable threesome of friends.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  But you did open casting for that. Our friend Anna, who works with Kristen, she brings it up all the time. We need to do open casting like Mindy. She's the only one. So I really push back on the diversity thing because you're the only one putting out a real huge net and saying, hey, we're doing this. It's not just the people in this city. Who's out there?

• 24:11Speaker 02

  What's tough about finding young Indian women is culturally, we're not pushing our young girls to like go into this field. Things have changed a lot. I'm a producer on this new Zarna Garg show. Do you know Zarna?

• 24:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  She's a stand-up. She's Indian and she's based in New York and she kind of came up during the pandemic. Three children, teenagers. She's so funny. You guys would love her. She does a lot of stuff with her family and we're shooting a pilot for her at CBS. And when we look at the casting for that, for her kids and her husband, it's remarkable how different the pool is. How many more people there are.

• 24:44Dax Shepard?

  Now, as opposed to 2012.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Even in 2019, when we did Never Have I Ever.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:49Dax Shepard?

  But guys, it's exponential growth because it's not just that the parents aren't pushing their kids. It's that the kids didn't see anyone, that they found their place. And like, I always say, I needed Nick Cage. Is he good looking or not? I'm not sure. He's tall. That seems like enough. He's the lead. Maybe I could do this. You just need somebody to make it seem real or plausible.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  It's such a valuable tool when you're home for Thanksgiving, when you're sitting with your parents, when you're a sophomore in college and just being like, okay, I can point to these examples. Particularly, I think with the Indian And parents where they kind of need the data.

• 25:19Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  They're like, um, do you have any successful data points?

• 25:23Dax Shepard?

  There's a justified and baseline fear that's a little higher in the Indian family.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  Well, when you change up your whole life to start a new one for your children, stakes are really high. You want them to be safe. And then they're like, I'm gonna go to LA and we'll see what happens.

• 25:38Dax Shepard?

  There's also a reality to who came. Your dad was an architect, your mother was an OBG, your father was an engineer, professionals coming here, and now the sky's really the limit.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  I just saw a complete unknown and we didn't have those types come in in the 50s and 60s.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  The Bob Dylan?

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Those sort of boho Indian artists and stuff, the Indian Bob Dylans. We're getting the visas.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  That's what people forget. It's not that they're not coming here, it's they can't come here. You come here because you're providing a service.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  You had to show 25 pages of paperwork that says that you deserve to be here and will contribute.

• 26:12Dax Shepard?

  Cause Monica and I did meet the Indian Bob Dylan. He was a chai wallah in front of the hotel. Now that motherfucker had more pizzazz than anyone I've ever seen. But yeah, that guy's not getting invited.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  Phil Gates, yeah, February of last year, I guess it was a year ago. There's Bob Dylan's there for sure.

• 26:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  They just aren't here.

• 26:30Dax Shepard?

  That guy was incredible.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  He was. Oh, one thing to add, maybe to take some guilt off and also just to tell people, that's earned. Being able to reach back out and help other people or think about diversity, that's earned over time. You don't really get to do that right off the gate. As you said, you're kind of like, I gotta prove myself for me first in order to get to that next step.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  I obviously, for selfish reasons, like to believe that. But you know, I'm often amazed now when I see younger people, how much more activist energy there is to young artists. I was literally like, I need to stay in the WGA. I need my health insurance. I have to pay my rent. I have to keep this job.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  These are truths.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  And it wasn't until 34, when I started thinking, okay, I have safety here. I can now be thinking about anything other than my own self-preservation. I feel like when Issa Rae was doing Insecure, I'm paraphrasing this, you'd be like, what drives you? And she's like, I want to make opportunities for. Other young black artists and I'm literally like, oh damn, you can be both. That's why I'm often really inspired by younger people and kind of shamed by that.

• 27:36Dax Shepard?

  Well, but have you heard the Malcolm Gladwell episode Token?

• 27:39Speaker 02

  No.

• 27:40Dax Shepard?

  It's worth listening to. I feel like it could relieve you of some stuff. It's all about Sammy Davis Jr. And what he went through, what he had to put up with. It's heartbreaking in so many ways and there's just a lot of good data about it as well. I was more making the artistic point, which is you had just spent eight years surrounded by white dudes in a writer's room on a cast that was largely white. Certainly your current experience was that. When I'm thinking about what I know inside and out at that point, it would be to be the lone brown person in a room. That's what I would know best.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  The thing that makes me feel guilty to admit is sometimes that's like a really nice feeling.

• 28:20Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 28:21Speaker 01

  That's what we were saying, sitting on the west side, being accepted by the group that you're always trying to get accepted by as a young person to reach that, even though yes, it's fucked up, but it is real.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  I had had some positive experiences. Like I went to Dartmouth College, which is in New Hampshire and pretty white. Because I felt exceptional, I don't know, this is just like a defect in my brain. Because I was the only one there, it made me feel special, which gave me confidence. It was a college that's not known for its performing arts. And so I would be doing these shows and everyone would come because it wasn't NYU or Columbia or USC Northwestern, where there's actually shit going on.

• 28:59Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  And it made me feel so confident. I started getting those accolades that made me feel like I could tell my parents, hey, I won the playwriting competition. Hey, my play got selected to do this and all this stuff at Dartmouth that they were like, oh, she seems successful in this. It's worrying us less.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  Then what I learned in the writer's room at the office, I think that kind of training, that intense eight years. So many of my shows after it where the cast members look completely different, the storylines are different. I took so much of that and I think that's why those shows are successful.

• 29:31Dax Shepard?

  Because you had the architecture of this.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  The DNA from how you make that successful show and then just take it and put. Into these different casts and I really just owe that to Greg Daniels.

• 29:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. What was Buckingham Brown? You went to a school from K to 12.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Buckingham Brown and Nichols, I went there from seventh grade to senior year.

• 29:51Dax Shepard?

  Okay. What was the vibe of that place? It sounds fancy.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Buckingham Brown and Nichols does sound fancy.

• 29:56Dax Shepard?

  Sounds like maybe a suit store.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Has like a Hogwarts kind of energy. No, it was a very artsy, private school in Cambridge. A hundred kids per class. It was really important to me to go there. I took a class that has stuck with me for the rest of my life on satire. When I was in 10th grade, at that time, I didn't know the difference between parody and satire. I just thought like, I watch SNL because I think it's funny and I like it, but we really parsed through all the different things and why they're funny.

• 30:25Dax Shepard?

  And was it using pop culture as well?

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Yes, we would read Mark Twain, we'd read like Huckleberry Finn, but then we would watch episodes of Saturday Night Live and talk about what they had in common and comedy and use to social justice. So it was a very fancy, private school with amazing teachers. But what I learned, and I think everyone goes through this at some point, was it was culturally interesting to be around children whose parents thought education was really important, but who are also from this, for lack of a better term, cultural elite. I tried sushi for the first time. My parents were like, well, we don't eat that. That's expensive and weird. I was using chopsticks. People had summer homes.

• 31:04Dax Shepard?

  Martha's Vineyard?

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Vineyard, like Hamptons.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  When summer is a verb.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  When summer is a verb and being able to navigate in those circles and go to college and know those kinds of people was, I would argue, almost as valuable as anything else. Cause you get into these writers rooms and can you pitch jokes? Can you listen? But there's like a cultural element. When you go to rooms with like a bunch of guys who went to Harvard and then I was like, oh, I get this and that's helped me so much.

• 31:30Dax Shepard?

  What kind of girl were you in this school?

• 31:32Speaker 02

  I was friendly, chubby.

• 31:36Dax Shepard?

  Was it coed?

• 31:37Speaker 02

  Coed.

• 31:38Dax Shepard?

  I already know that actually. Cause I heard you say you would stare at boys that wouldn't look at you back and you would have pornographic thoughts about.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Yes. And just be like, what if?

• 31:46Dax Shepard?

  I was thinking of Monica, of course, when I read that, very similar to Monica's story in high school. This may sound like a huge swing, but. I'm going to set it up by saying, we've seen this really predictable pattern where we have people who are on Disney and their sexuality was kind of repressed.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:03Dax Shepard?

  It was forbidden. And when they break out of the Mickey Mouse Club, it's on. They're like super outwardly sexual. And then we've had a bunch of mostly actresses who their sexuality was overly

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Natalie Portman.

• 32:15Dax Shepard?

  They were sexualized as young performers and then they clamp down when they have a choice. And I was just thinking that for the girls that are super hot that every guy's trying to fuck, their almost state of rest is, I gotta keep that away. But if you can't have it, I think you're liberated to be a pervert, kind of like guys.

• 32:36Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. We get support from No Bull. The holidays can get hectic. You finally hit a post summer routine and suddenly you're on hosting duty every week.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  That's when you really need to ground yourself.

• 32:54Dax Shepard?

  Exactly. And that's why I keep my training routine through the holidays. It's the whole No Bull idea. There's a no bullshit training brand built around consistency, honesty, and just putting in the work. It's not about adding more pressure to an already packed schedule. It's about having the gear and the habits to move through the season your way. My personal favorite, all three of the shoes are fantastic. The Outwork, the Outwork Flex and the Drive Two. I like the Drive Two because it's a hybrid and I lift, of course, but I also like to do what's called box jumps.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 33:26Dax Shepard?

  Right? I do a lot of jumping onto a little platform and I want a little more flexibility and boy, do they deliver.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  And if you're a cardio person and you're running and you also need to be lifting.

• 33:36Dax Shepard?

  And the style is banging. I don't know what to say. Beautiful style, very breathable, very, very comfortable. Lots of support. They were built for lifting.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  They also make a great holiday gift. You know, I love gifting, a purposeful one that actually supports someone's goals and routines. And it's not a gift that just ends up in the back of the closet.

• 33:53Dax Shepard?

  Stay stronger than the season. Head to nobullproject.com all holiday season to shop new deals every week. We get support from Skim. Okay, I have a confession. I genuinely love matching pajamas. It's the best part of Christmas morning, really. Everyone in the same matching set, looking ridiculously cute in front of the tree.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  I love matching pajamas. I'm literally going to be in coordinating sets with all my friends this holiday season. Because I got them, spoiler to my friends who are listening. The same Skims pajama set I've been living in. They are so soft and cozy and they look cute. So you can leave the house and go get a late night hot chocolate and be cozy.

• 34:36Dax Shepard?

  It's so great how Skims has sets for everyone, too. Women's, men's, kids, even your pets. So nobody in your life has to be left out this year.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  I have a bunch of different pajama sets. One of my favorite is the organic cotton sleep long sleeve set.

• 34:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, tell me more.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  It is so comfortable, very chic, too. The top is a button down, but very, very soft, easy to sleep in. But as I said before, you can multipurpose this and look super cute.

• 35:05Dax Shepard?

  Hot chocolate runs. It's like the pajamas we grew up in, except without the scratchy polyester that made opening presents feel more like a hot yoga class that nobody signed up for.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  All the nostalgia, none of the discomfort. Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select Armchair Expert in the dropdown menu that follows. If you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open at skims.com.

• 35:34Dax Shepard?

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• 36:42Speaker 03

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• 36:57Dax Shepard?

  We get support from Superhuman. Look, I love what I do. The conversations, the ideas, the creative stuff. But there's this whole other layer of work that eats my day alive. The inbox that never ends. Docs I need to get through, threads I'm behind on. And by the time I've dealt with all of that, the stuff I actually want to focus on gets whatever's left. What I needed was something that just works where I'm already working. Not another tab to open, not another thing to set up. Superhuman Go, from the makers of Grammarly, is different. It's already right there, inside your email, your docs, your browser. You don't go to it, it's already working alongside you. You're deep in a long thread, highlight it, and it pulls the key points. About to send something important?

• 37:40Dax Shepard?

  It flags what doesn't add up before it leaves your hands. It knows your style, your workflows, and it just backs you up without getting in the way. A thought partner that's already up to speed. At your service, not after your job. So, do yourself a favor and try Superhuman Go. From the makers of Grammarly. Find out more at superhuman.com.

• 38:08Dax Shepard?

  What do you think of that theory?

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Your theory is that if you are repressed like that, it makes you sort of a...

• 38:13Dax Shepard?

  Well, if you've concluded that these guys aren't even gonna come at me,

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:17Dax Shepard?

  You don't have any defenses up. You're not like, I gotta keep them away. They're trying to fuck me. As opposed to like, oh, they're not going to. And now you're kind of like, I think I want to.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. And how?

• 38:27Speaker 02

  I think that's true. It's so interesting. I worked in The Office for eight years, loved the experience, largely male cast. What I want to write about is about women who are ambitious and lust after people that they're not interested in.

• 38:39Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Because then every subsequent show, The Sex Lives with College Girls, this new Kate Hudson show, it's all just about women who are trying to make the most of what they have and have sex and be successful. The correlation from how I was in high school and what I didn't have is just expressed in those shows that I was able to do after The Office. But it's really interesting to me. My shows have a lot of horny women. My friend BJ Novak makes this joke that every trailer for any Mindy Kaling show has a hot man's torso in slow motion. And I was like, how dare you? That's incredibly reductive. That's not true. And then it is true.

• 39:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Every trailer.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 39:15Dax Shepard?

  It's your turn.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  It's like Pauline Chalamet, Kate Hudson, Mitra Ramakrishnan, their head is turning. And it's just like those 80s movies that they can't make anymore. The National Lampoon movies where it's like a guy is following a bouncing girl on the volleyball team.

• 39:29Dax Shepard?

  And running point, she enters the coach's domain and he happens to be shirtless doing pull-ups. I do a lot of pull-ups, almost never shirtless.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  I mean, that's a good point.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  You can give it a try.

• 39:39Dax Shepard?

  It's a solid point.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  Might be better.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  It was Jay Ellis. So Jay Ellis on your show, and he's like, could I wear my sweatshirt for my pull-ups? You'd be like, whatever makes you comfortable, Jay. But if it's all the same to you for the story.

• 39:52Dax Shepard?

  It's like having Jordan there and there's two sports on the table. You could either film him playing ice hockey or play basketball. We should have him probably play basketball.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  We should have him play basketball.

• 40:01Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we should get that top off and see how many pull-ups we can do.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  And for the record, Jay Ellis, he is a very funny part in this. He's more than just a hot bike. But for the trailer.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta hook him. Back to Hogwarts and seeing pornographic images. Was it... All encompassing. When you were home, were you like, oh, I want these boys to like me?

• 40:19Speaker 02

  Do you know, I think there's a link between this sort of fantasy. Cause obviously I would idolize a guy and just be like, oh, and he's probably like this and he's probably like this. And I bet he treats his girlfriend so well, super nice to his mom and he kisses a lot during sex. Like all that stuff, right?

• 40:36Dax Shepard?

  So slow. You almost want to speed him up.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Oh, too slow. I've been here for 90 minutes.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  But when you are someone who lives in those kind of romantic fantasies, I think it informed my writing. I was creating these scenarios in my head, which could never have lived up to what you were actually experiencing as someone who lost your virginity when you were 13, I think.

• 40:57Dax Shepard?

  Good memory. It was seventh grade, so it could be either 12 or 13.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  I hope it's 13. I hope it was a solid teen.

• 41:03Dax Shepard?

  Does it help you to know I was 5'11" and 159 pounds? I've been this size since then.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  That does help.

• 41:09Dax Shepard?

  It does, right? And my girlfriend, she was in ninth grade.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  She's an older woman.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:13Dax Shepard?

  And she had enormous boobs and was a woman. We didn't know what else to do.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  You were the thing that people make fun of teen shows. They're like, they all look like they're 30. But you were like, me and my girlfriend were that.

• 41:22Dax Shepard?

  We were. And again, she was 15. She was in ninth grade.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  So it's not a sad indie movie. It's a nice CW show.

• 41:29Dax Shepard?

  Yes. And she had already had sex once before and she had enjoyed it.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  It was a teaching moment for Dax.

• 41:35Dax Shepard?

  I mean, it was a very brief, for being so honest. I had made a mixtape and I had hoped that the coitus would start exactly when Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs came on. Cause that was my favorite song. And it did, and I don't think I made it to the chorus. I had a condom on.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Good. Nice.

• 41:52Dax Shepard?

  But then, I didn't know what to do after that. I was like, when do I stop? Then I just kept pumping for a while. Cause when I was that young, my penis just stayed hard. I just kept pumping. I was like, when do I, is she gonna tell me when this is over? Like, I'm ready for this whole thing to be over.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Wow. I mean, I have a bunch of follow up questions.

• 42:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, hit me.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  So it kept going. I didn't know that was possible.

• 42:15Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think at that age it was possible.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  Was she like, hey, we're good?

• 42:19Dax Shepard?

  We're talking, probably within the first five seconds, I had already reached.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  So she didn't know?

• 42:23Dax Shepard?

  No. Cause I was wearing a condom.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:26Dax Shepard?

  Where I was on a couch, it feels relevant because there wasn't like a lot of options to move around. And I hadn't thought past that. I didn't know, when does this conclude?

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Well, you're

• 42:36Dax Shepard?

  So I just kept humping and the longer I was humping and I was like, this is awkward. I don't really know when we stop.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Cause TV and film don't really show.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  They don't tell you.

• 42:45Dax Shepard?

  Didn't prepare me for that. I had seen Valley Girl and a lot of good films, but none of them had the guy confuse when he should stop. So, yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Feel free to write that in for something.

• 42:57Dax Shepard?

  You'd be in trouble if you tried to tell the story with 13 year old and a 15 year old having sex.

• 43:02Speaker 02

  No, it's good.

• 43:03Dax Shepard?

  Okay. I just want to bring up, so Monica admittedly, she lived in deep fantasy and part of the fantasy was Good Will Hunting. She watched it in her head.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  Famously, I know and listened to the episode.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Oh, the Matt Damon episode.

• 43:17Speaker 02

  Which was such good listening.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  What a moment. This is number two to that or tied.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  It can't be tied.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  It's not tied. But really before I was like, I'm nervous. I'm never nervous.

• 43:28Dax Shepard?

  That's right.

• 43:28Speaker 01

  The only other time was him because we had a little, it's probably gone.

• 43:31Dax Shepard?

  It's in the bathroom, maybe?

• 43:32Speaker 02

  No, no. I went to the bathroom and there's a photo of you.

• 43:35Dax Shepard?

  I'm so happy you used the restroom.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Good job.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Ike Barinholtz said to quote, bring snacks.

• 43:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Because it's so long.

• 43:43Dax Shepard?

  You'll be here all day.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  I was like, okay, that's good to know.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:46Dax Shepard?

  Get hydrated. Wear something very comfortable. Maybe bring your own couch cushion. Cause it'll be all day.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  I'm still thinking about when dads call me hot at the beginning.

• 43:54Dax Shepard?

  You're very hot. I follow you on Instagram and I often look at pictures of you and I go, she's so hot.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  That's like really nice.

• 44:00Dax Shepard?

  I've told Monica that. I'm not doing this for your sake.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Information.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Well, that's the outcome you hope for when you post those photos.

• 44:06Dax Shepard?

  Of course.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  And you think, oh, the best, some anonymous pervert in the middle of the country thinks that, but to think a celebrity is thinking you're hot, that's pretty good.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  I would guess many, in fact, most people think that about you.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  That's new and that feels nice. Thank you.

• 44:21Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So you liked boys, but did you not have a boyfriend through high school?

• 44:24Speaker 02

  No, not even through college.

• 44:26Dax Shepard?

  Now, this is really personal, but we just talked about mine and I gotta bring you into it, Monica.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 44:30Dax Shepard?

  There becomes a point, when I met Monica, she was Twenty seven, eight.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:36Dax Shepard?

  And as she was approaching thirty, I just started getting the sense maybe Monica hadn't.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  I probably told you.

• 44:42Dax Shepard?

  Well, I asked you ultimately. I said to Kristen, I don't think Monica's been with a dude. And she's like, yeah, I think she has. And I'm like, I don't think so. And then I needed resolution to that kind of argument.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Professionally, you needed to.

• 44:52Dax Shepard?

  Well, luckily she didn't work for me.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  That's true. At the time.

• 44:55Dax Shepard?

  We were just friends. We argued about podcasts all the time. She hadn't. And then my first thought was, is it a religious thing?

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Right. I'm waiting for marriage.

• 45:06Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I was like, do you want to be married? Is it a religious thing?

• 45:09Speaker 01

  You kind of want to say yes. There was a part of me that wanted to say, yeah, there's a real reason that I haven't. And there's a reason nobody wants to have sex with me. It's because I'm waiting for marriage. But no, I was just like, no, it's just hasn't happened.

• 45:24Dax Shepard?

  But then it becomes a thing, as Monica explained to me, where it's like now you've passed some point where you're like, oh, my God, people are going to think this is weird about me. Were you starting to have any of those fears?

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're describing the premise of The Forty Year Old Virgin, my first movie, which is good to hear that besides being just a funny comedy or like a speaking to a truth. In my mind, I said, this has to happen before I'm twenty four. And I don't know whether I heard this afterwards or not, but I remember one of the great gifts that Tina Fey I think has given to us, besides just being really funny, and I love thirty rack and just being such an amazing joke writer, is I think at some point, and she's not someone who is super open, but she said in a book or something that she lost her virginity at age twenty four. And I remember thinking, that's like a very nice thing to do.

• 46:09Dax Shepard?

  It's a gift.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  To give some guideposts to nerdy women. She's beautiful, smart, happy marriage, beautiful daughters. And I thought that was great because we can't all be Dax.

• 46:20Speaker 01

  We can't all be twelve and fucking.

• 46:22Dax Shepard?

  Well, hold on, guys. Don't make me the enemy.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 46:25Dax Shepard?

  I was in a hick town and I was super large and we were bored.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  No, no, no. And I feel like I keep making you feel self-conscious about it. But so I remember thinking that then it happened before then.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  Good for you. You're way ahead of me.

• 46:36Dax Shepard?

  Did you, Monty had this too. There is an ambition. So if you do decide you're going to do something, anything in the world, you will figure out how to do it.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 46:43Dax Shepard?

  And I think. You pretty much are like, I'm doing this.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  It was like a ticking clock. At one point I was like, it really is time. I wasn't like, I don't care who.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Doesn't have to be the love of your life. That was similar to how I felt.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  I didn't need that, but I didn't want to have a random hookup. And then I was never in a relationship. So I was like, how am I gonna do it?

• 47:03Speaker 02

  So one thing I think that's tricky about Indian culture is this idea that in my house, dating or any of that was pretty much forbidden. In high school, no one is dating. By the way, not that anyone was coming after me or anything, but I also knew that it was not an option. And then you're expected to sort of like go to college and then meet someone and know how to date and then fall in love and get married. But with what skills?

• 47:25Dax Shepard?

  And everyone's already had five girlfriends that you're gonna meet.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  I've not yet kissed somebody.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Right, exactly.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Or even know how to be normal in romantic intimate situations. Forget even about sexual situations. Situations when someone wants to go to the movies with you and you're like, I only know how to do this with my female friend.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Like, I know how to go to the movie with my cousin.

• 47:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, what do we eat when I'm with you? Am I getting the popcorn and the Milk Duds?

• 47:48Speaker 02

  You've seen this probably, people go into, I think I just need to have sex right now.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 47:52Speaker 02

  And so I didn't go through that, but I, now that I have three children, definitely want to de-stigmatize this. You know, I do feel pretty Indian and Hindu in a lot of ways, and I really want to instill that in my kids culturally. But I do think what I want for them is to be like, yeah, you can go on a date or you can like somebody and talk to me about it. Because I didn't love going into college being like, does a kiss with someone then mean we have to then take this all the way to its completion?

• 48:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  I didn't love that. It's also a source of a lot of my comedic storytelling. Never have I ever is literally about a nerd who asks the hottest guy at school, would you have sex with me? Growing up in the eighties and the nineties, and I think Dax were about the same age.

• 48:34Dax Shepard?

  Four years older than you, but thank you.

• 48:35Speaker 02

  You are?

• 48:35Dax Shepard?

  Yes, yes, yes. Seventy-five. Sorry, you go ahead and say sorry.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 48:40Dax Shepard?

  Sorry.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  So sorry. Are you 50?

• 48:45Dax Shepard?

  I just turned 50.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 48:46Dax Shepard?

  Thank you.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  That's a good one.

• 48:47Dax Shepard?

  I made it.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  So in the eighties and nineties, it felt like there was so many coming of age for this like very specific kind of guy, a geeky guy, can't buy me love. And then later, Judd did it with Superbad. And this is why I've always feel like it's crazy when people can't watch things with subtitles, because I'm like, my entire life was being able to relate to characters who look nothing like me. I can do it easily. I'm very invested in Ross and Rachel, and we were on a break and like, I can relate to them.

• 49:13Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  And so it's crazy when people are like, I can't watch Parasite.

• 49:16Dax Shepard?

  What if they're dyslexic? First of all, I loved Parasite, but what if reading takes so much of your concentration, you're totally missing all the visuals?

• 49:24Speaker 02

  That's a separate situation.

• 49:26Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  And sometimes I find subtitles annoying too, when I just want to relax. So I felt like that felt really untapped and fun, this thing that I could relate to and wanting to do shows and TV about that kind of stuff.

• 49:39Dax Shepard?

  So we have to go through a couple of the fun touch points, touchstones of your ride to here, which is, as you mentioned, Dartmouth. You wrote for their comedy magazine, Jekyll and Darn?

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Very briefly.

• 49:52Dax Shepard?

  It didn't work out?

• 49:53Speaker 02

  It wasn't aggronious, but I just felt it was not my idea of fun. It felt a little too competitive and there was no performance element to it. So I did more like sketch comedy. I more hung with like the actors.

• 50:06Dax Shepard?

  Right. And you were in an improv troupe.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Which I loved.

• 50:08Dax Shepard?

  And you did stand up.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  I did stand up briefly after college, when I moved to Brooklyn. But when I was in college, I did all of those performing arts groups that you then immediately learn when you graduate are like so beyond lame. When I was at college, it was so fun and felt so cool, but a cappella in short form improv.

• 50:28Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  And I made some of my greatest friends, like my godmother of my three children was in my a cappella group.

• 50:33Dax Shepard?

  Brenda?

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Jocelyn, Brenda's my other dear friend.

• 50:35Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Brenda's who I did Matt and Ben with.

• 50:37Dax Shepard?

  And you broke her nose.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  I broke her nose on stage.

• 50:40Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  When the New York Times was.

• 50:42Dax Shepard?

  While they were there.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  While they were there.

• 50:43Dax Shepard?

  Wow. Do you think their presence added to that happening?

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then also my deep lack of like coordination, because I had to. Be the person that threw the punch.

• 50:53Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  It was off, off broad. We didn't have like a fight coordinator. I was just like, so I'm gonna punch and he'll kind of duck back.

• 51:00Dax Shepard?

  Sure. That's a great plan. Forget where the audience is.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're like in a 90 C Black Box Theater in the East Village. That was crazy. I really broke.

• 51:08Dax Shepard?

  Your hands because often if you've broken someone's nose, you could break your.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  No one ever thinks about the other victim in a punching.

• 51:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, they don't think about the predators.

• 51:17Speaker 01

  Because you throw it.

• 51:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I broke in my hand.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  It does hurt your knuckles. The St. Vincent's Hospital was still open then and she's getting her nose checked. And I'm like, oh, my knuckles kind of hurt too.

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Hey, wondering if we could take a little x-ray?

• 51:30Speaker 02

  But she was such a good sport. I mean, that was a real instance of like, the show must go on.

• 51:34Dax Shepard?

  I wouldn't want to ever see someone get punched, but also I really wish I had seen that. You're gonna remember that for your life. If you go to a play and one of the actors breaks the other actor's nose, especially if it's two women.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  And dressed in drag, she recoiled and there was a silence. And I was like, I felt that. But I had this feeling.

• 51:53Dax Shepard?

  Right. She dropped.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  She stumbled back. She didn't fall, but I remember this feeling of like, I definitely felt it, but is there a chance she didn't?

• 52:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 52:01Speaker 02

  You know, like my hand feels like it, but is there a chance that it skimmed? Do you know, like when you are walking in your house and you hear a horrible sounding splat, like someone, surely they broke their bones? And then your kid's like, I'm fine. And you're like, how?

• 52:14Dax Shepard?

  Yes, you get little miracles.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  You're the little miracles. And I was like, is it one of those moments where it didn't hurt her?

• 52:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, I think that's why the first step of processing grief is denial. That's the denial phase. You're like, well, I felt it, but maybe she didn't.

• 52:27Speaker 02

  It was total denial. She's like a real actress and she still acts now and she's a real theater actress.

• 52:33Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she has her own theater now.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  Yes, she does. And well, flee. And so she rolled it. She stepped back. Blood. We had to go off stage. They had to stop the show. But it was the first time where I was like, oh, the show must go on is real. And we were like, this is a 15 minute play, but it was really her being like, I want to go out and finish it.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 52:50Dax Shepard?

  Again, that's keep bringing back to Jordan or Isaiah Thomas playing on a broken ankle in the finals. You gotta do it. It's game seven.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Jordan, food poisoning or was poisoned.

• 52:59Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 52:59Speaker 02

  Getting through it.

• 53:00Dax Shepard?

  You just gotta do it.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Dave Stassen, I burn. Let's talk about that moment all the time.

• 53:04Dax Shepard?

  I can only imagine them being from Chicago, or at least Ike, and how much they must talk about Jordan.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, those guys love you, too.

• 53:11Dax Shepard?

  I love Ike so fucking much. There couldn't be a better guest. He is wonderful. He's coming.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  I think he's coming.

• 53:17Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he's coming soon. I was delighted to see him in the credits for Running Point.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  And doing the show with him and Dave was so fun because we'd worked together.

• 53:24Dax Shepard?

  Dave is his partner. He made the best joke I've ever heard, which is Dave is a Gentile. And Ike says that in several pitch meetings, he has said he lost a family member in the Holocaust. He fell off a guard tower.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  And poor Dave. Dave is like, hey, can we not call me a Nazi like in another general? Is that okay?

• 53:46Dax Shepard?

  What a joke.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  In a good old fashioned.

• 53:48Dax Shepard?

  It is. It's classic.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  It's a classic. And those guys are a throwback. Like, I've never met two guys and worked with them where they're just so hyper masculine, you know, like the kinds of guys that remember literally crying at an NBA finals. Like, they love Derrick Rose. They love Jordan. They remember the Pippen Jordan. Like, they're just talking about that. They're so straight and so Chicago, but then also completely without any kind of agenda feminists with daughters who care about women. And so when we were doing the show, Jeannie Buss approached me about doing the show because she liked The Office.

• 54:23Dax Shepard?

  So really quick, Jeannie Buss is the daughter of Jerry Buss, who had owned the Lakers.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  So the great Jeannie Buss, who runs the Lakers, decided that she wanted to do a show about her life. And she had seen a lot of shows and books written about the Lakers where she was like a side character. And she is the woman who runs this, and she has the most difficult, sexy, glamorous job.

• 54:45Dax Shepard?

  When I was watching the title sequence, because it's giving us a pretty good layout of the setup is in the title sequence.

• 54:50Speaker 02

  Oh, you've seen it?

• 54:51Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  Okay, cool.

• 54:52Dax Shepard?

  And as I was watching it, I was like, well, this is Jenny Buss's story. And then I saw her name in the credits and I was like, oh, good. She's participated.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  It's so funny you mention that because when we did the trailer, people will comment, oh, so basically you took the Jeannie Buss story and made it a show? They think I'm.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  And I'm like, no, no, this is her idea. She came to me. She's an executive producer on the show. I love her.

• 55:14Dax Shepard?

  And is she married to Phil Jackson?

• 55:16Speaker 02

  They dated.

• 55:17Dax Shepard?

  They dated, okay.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Seriously dated.

• 55:19Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, for a long time, right?

• 55:20Speaker 02

  She's married to Jay Moore.

• 55:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, she is?

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Stand up. She loves comedians. Oh, my God.

• 55:25Dax Shepard?

  She gets to hear his perfect walk-in anytime she wants. He does the very best Christopher Walken. In fact, I think he's who started the Christopher Walken.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  On SNL, he used to do that, right?

• 55:35Dax Shepard?

  And it's not just that his accent's so perfect. It's he has tapped into what kind of things Walken would say. One of his famous ones is he goes, I don't like sports, but gymnastics, boys or girls bouncing on the mats. It's exciting. Like, it's not about the accent. It's that this guy would love gymnastics, boys or girls bouncing on the mat.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Your walk-in's pretty good, too.

• 55:59Dax Shepard?

  That was a bad one. Don't judge me by it. I'll do it later.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  It was okay. Oh, it's coming back?

• 56:03Dax Shepard?

  So that's great. She's married to him.

• 56:05Speaker 02

  So she wanted to do the show and I met her and I just fell in love with her. She's such a perfect person to base a character on to be the star of a show. She has the sexiest life. I mean, she was literally engaged secretly for a while to the head coach.

• 56:18Dax Shepard?

  Yes, greatest coach of all time.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  Himself has written a really fascinating book and she's really sexy. She has to be sexy. Like, part of her job is that she has to appeal to men in a really certain kind of way.

• 56:30Dax Shepard?

  And it's the LA fucking Lakers. It's its own thing.

• 56:33Speaker 02

  It's an institution.

• 56:34Dax Shepard?

  And it's glitzy and glammy.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  Full of celebrities and tough decisions. And then I read her book, then I interviewed her and her best friend, the great Linda Rambis, who is another producer on this, and her sudden Jordan, who's another producer who's also great. So anyway, it was like, this is a show I had to do. I grew up loving the Celtics. My dad was a huge fan.

• 56:53Dax Shepard?

  Who was his favorite player?

• 56:54Speaker 02

  He really liked JoJo White and Hondo Havlicek.

• 56:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, so obviously Bird, Parrish, you know, the greats, but they were like deep cuts. I always loved basketball. My dad always was like, no, this is a sport. Like, they're so athletic. It's fast moving. When she approached me, I checked with Ike and Dave. They were busy. They're on a deal at another studio. They couldn't do it. But I'd been dying to work with them. They were writers on The Mindy Project. They were on-set writers. And so I loved their energy as an actress. I loved working with them because they're the kind of rare writer where they would give you a note, but they understand the performer's psyche. You've been on shows, and this was- At the office, there was the writers who would really piss off the actors because they would do like either line readings or they would come in with notes too quickly.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  And I have both sensitivities. I, as an actress, was like, let me have fucking two takes, please. You know, I'm not sitting here saying that I'm Elizabeth Moss or like one of the great actresses, but I do have that side where I'm like, let me work it out.

• 57:53Dax Shepard?

  Minimum, you want to do the best version of what you thought it was.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 57:56Dax Shepard?

  And then if that's not what they want, great, let me try to give it to you. But give me a chance to do the thing well that I think it should be.

• 58:02Speaker 02

  But then I also have the side as the showrunner where I'm like, hey, this is too slow. Someone needs to go in and tell them they need to speak quicker. This is a comedy.

• 58:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  Right? Or like, hey, this precision in this language, this line needs to be said as written because it's not coming across the way you think it is. What's nice about those guys on that experience, which was already terrifying, is that they knew how to give me notes and when to give me notes that made me be better. And they really understood actors, which is why on this new show, I mean, they are beloved by everyone. Brenda Song, who's amazing and old pro, Kate, all the guys who are in the basketball, the background extras on the team, they all love Ike and Dave. Ike is just that guy. It's like Monday and he's coming in to the grip. He's like, how was your daughter sweet 16? You know?

• 58:46Dax Shepard?

  I know. He's annoyingly perfect.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  He's like the guy that is in school and you're like, oh, I bet he's like this and I bet he's like this. And there's no way it's true, but then he is.

• 58:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 58:56Speaker 02

  He knows encyclopedic knowledge about politics, history and movies.

• 58:59Dax Shepard?

  Well, I didn't know this about him until I was researching you today, that he went on a crazy run on Jeopardy. He started on Celebrity Jeopardy, won that, and then they brought him in. Did you know this, Monica? And they brought him into normal Jeopardy and he fucking mopped up.

• 59:11Speaker 02

  And then he was on Jimmy Kimmel's show and made a million dollars for a school for deaf children. With his dad.

• 59:17Speaker 01

  Totally made up.

• 59:18Dax Shepard?

  He's a guy.

• 59:19Speaker 02

  And he's pretty easy on the eyes.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, he is. Okay. It kind of feels like this is not a love letter to your dad, but it is sort of, you're made of a show about basketball and then Mindy Project is sort of for your mom.

• 59:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  You were an OB in that. Is that intentional?

• 59:34Speaker 02

  I'm definitely inspired by elements of them. I will say though, when I talk to my dad about the shows he loves, he respects this, but these are not his kinds of shows.

• 59:46Dax Shepard?

  What are his shows? Does he like, like Blue Bloods and stuff?

• 59:49Speaker 02

  No, but that's a good guess.

• 59:50Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  The typical dad show, I actually am liking those shows, like all Bosch, Lincoln Lawyer. I'm really a shut in with four friends, so I love Ford versus Ferrari. I'm watching the dad shows.

• 1:00:04Dax Shepard?

  Well, you don't want to watch what you make. People will be bummed at me that I haven't seen certain comedies. And I'm like, I don't love watching comedy because I can just feel the math most of the time and I can't get lost in it.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  I relate to that and I've heard of it, but then I watch your wife's show. I watch every moment the weekend it came out. You know what it is that I don't respond to is things that are overrated, which is a lot, right? But when things are correctly rated, like Nobody Wants This. For me, I'm a single mom, 45, I live in LA. I want to see Kristen fall in love with Adam Brody and want to become a better person and go on hot dates and have hot kisses.

• 1:00:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that kiss was the best kiss I think I've ever seen.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  You're talking about the one on the sidewalk.

• 1:00:44Dax Shepard?

  End of episode two.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  Over, yeah.

• 1:00:46Dax Shepard?

  They shot it right, held her head the right way. It was slow enough, fuck.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Her sister, Justine, is so good. His brother, everyone is so good in doing it right. I tend to be harder on comedies for sure, but the thing that my assistant makes fun of me is she's like, you watch everything. And it's true. I was watching the Fernanda Torres movie, I'm Still Here.

• 1:01:08Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:01:09Speaker 02

  She was nominated for Best Actress and it could not be more different than anything that I work on, but she is the wife of someone. It's a period piece whose husband has been disappeared by the government, right? And how do you carry on after all that? I was watching that, like weeping. So I really don't have a social life. I really just watch TV and film and wear cute outfits.

• 1:01:28Dax Shepard?

  Us too, by the way. Don't let that character, uh, nobody wants to mislead you. We have two kids.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  You go to France and stay in Bradley Cooper's house.

• 1:01:36Dax Shepard?

  The year our kid was born, that was the last trip I took like that. And that was 2013.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  Well, we, we did go to France and stay at Bradley's house for a night.

• 1:01:44Dax Shepard?

  But the whole family.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, is that what you're referencing? Maybe that's true.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  Maybe, I guess.

• 1:01:49Dax Shepard?

  We do go on family vacations.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  You don't go to Coachella?

• 1:01:51Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  You're not seeing live music?

• 1:01:53Dax Shepard?

  No, no, no, none of that's happening.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:01:55Dax Shepard?

  No, we leave this house to go to the airport and we'll go on a vacation. In general, in LA, we don't ever leave.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  Are you gonna like Jimmy Kimmel's compound and fishing?

• 1:02:04Dax Shepard?

  Yes, that's we go to the airport or we get in the bus and drive there.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  I'm trying to bust you on having a nice life. What is going on here?

• 1:02:10Dax Shepard?

  I'm flattered by it. But when you got hired on the office, did you know you were coming in as a performer?

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  No, that is one of the four or five truly lucky things that's ever happened to me career wise. I came in as a writer. I would have done anything just to be in the Writers Guild. Was prepared to have a life of that. And they just needed regular looking people. So the reason I was lucky was because I don't think I would have been cast 2004 sitcom. There's no way I'd have been on any actual show that wasn't like a mockumentary about an unglamorous place with normal people.

• 1:02:42Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, right, real people.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  But with those rules in place, he could be like, hey, NBC, can this woman be in it? And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, she looks real.

• 1:02:50Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Almost too real, though, because when I look back at that first season, I remember Mike Schur and BJ Apal Lieberstein like, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is real. This is real. And then I wasn't thinking like, hey, you're a 24 year old, single woman, like maybe put on a little makeup.

• 1:03:03Dax Shepard?

  You would still have makeup on and do your hair.

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  Because I remember at that time, it was like, yeah, what's cool in comedy is to put me in an ugly shirt. I want my judge to think I'm cool. And guess what? Cool comedy guys who like that, they actually still like hot women.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  Exactly. UCB was like that for a long time, too, where you had to sort of choose your camp. You had to be a boy, basically, and funny, or a hot girl. I do think that's changed a ton.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  Sarah Silverman wore a hoodie and jeans, which works for Sarah when you're stunningly beautiful. Your beauty still comes through. You can't even hide it.

• 1:03:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, try as you might. I did that, though, for a movie, Let's Go to Prison. I'm like, yeah, I'm a prisoner. No hair, no makeup. And I was like, you're on film, you should probably.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  You're just too vain. Yeah, no, I know. Well, it's hard to see yourself on film, regardless of what you look like. I mean, even Kristen, she's like, ugh, I don't like that. She's perfect looking. And so for her to say that.

• 1:03:54Dax Shepard?

  Well, she'll find the thing they cannot shoot my hands. I have the hands of a 90 year old woman.

• 1:03:58Speaker 01

  No, surprisingly, you'd be shocked, actually.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Because that wasn't the response. You were supposed to be like, I know it's absurd. Her hands are beautiful, baby's hands.

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  I spent a lot of time zooming in on her hands when I worked for her. And I was like, we gotta Photoshop this.

• 1:04:12Dax Shepard?

  Our friend Anna just scours the internet and then sends Kristen pictures with her hands circled.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  And also, if that's the one thing, you gotta take it. But do you still fantasize about men in the way that you did when you were looking at the boys?

• 1:04:29Speaker 02

  I don't remember the last time I had a crush. I don't have lust feelings. Now, maybe that's connected to if you've had to pump milk for a baby within the last six months, maybe you have to give yourself some time.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  Hormones.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  One of your commercials, you were both talking about it and it was like, are you Barry Menopausal? Take this medication. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Daxton Monica are telling me about this ad. That's how open I was listening to this podcast. I was like, I gotta get the ads. I gotta get this pill they're talking about.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  No, but anyway, I'm at that age.

• 1:04:59Dax Shepard?

  Can I just say, I think most women who have just had a baby experience quite a decline. I think your body's like, hey, we have a very specific mission right now.

• 1:05:08Speaker 02

  Not Kylie Jenner, but again, I'm twice the age she was when she had her kid.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Age is a factor, but also I think fantasy is a factor. Cause I fantasized so much growing up that it can replace doing the real thing for me.

• 1:05:22Speaker 02

  That's chilling. It's a good point. You know, if I listen to who's like one of the great interview, like Hugh Grant, have you guys ever heard him get interviewed?

• 1:05:29Dax Shepard?

  I find him to be incredibly charming, talk show appearances, but I've never heard long form.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  He did, I think, Smartless. He was promoting a new horror movie and I thought that was an interesting choice. So I was like, oh, I want to watch this and hear why he would do a horror movie. That seems fun. So I listened to it. Smartless is like, you guys were, it brings out a good side in him, but it was like his podcast. He was so funny. I was like, I know you haven't had this conversation before, but why is every anecdote you're saying perfectly worded, great analogies, great callbacks to stories that you then call back later? I was listening to that and I was like, I have a crush on you, Hugh Grant, but I wasn't like Googling him to see if he was in between marriages.

• 1:06:07Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:08Dax Shepard?

  Sure, sure.

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  Not that you would be interested, but I was satiated.

• 1:06:11Dax Shepard?

  You didn't go to the next zone.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  The next zone of how do I call my agent?

• 1:06:16Dax Shepard?

  Orchestrate some bump in.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Go to the premiere to his indie horror movie.

• 1:06:21Dax Shepard?

  I do think culturally, the English are better at being interviewed. They have a tradition there of going on the show and being prepared. There's an expectation there that I think the bar is higher.

• 1:06:32Speaker 02

  Do you think that so many of the young actors, they were raised being like, being in plays and doing Shakespeare doesn't make you effeminate? It's part of our tradition. We can learn Shakespeare and it doesn't make us pussies. Sorry to use that word. No. Pejorative, but you can be a very masculine man and be in Much Ado About Nothing.

• 1:06:49Dax Shepard?

  I feel like there's a lot of more options.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  Got a good point.

• 1:06:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay. So when you started acting and throughout the course of The Office, you ended up being in tons of movies. There had to be a point, I'm imagining where you could have at least considered, do I want to continue writing? Or do I just want to act? Did you ever have those thoughts?

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  There was a little zone I had where I'd have like four lines in a Seth Rogen movie. I was Paul Rudd's ex and something and it never felt like, oh, I could cobble together a job this way. But it was really glamorous.

• 1:07:18Dax Shepard?

  What about post Mindy though, when you do Oceans Eight?

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  Those experiences were really fun, doing Oceans and doing Wrinkle in Time. It really crystallized to me that I am probably not going to be really good in something unless I write it. There's something about my cadences or what I think I'm good at, that I could probably showcase better if I just wrote it myself. Which is not to say that I don't think I was fine in A Wrinkle in Time. The movie's not about my acting. I love doing this. I love being in Inside Out and I love being cast and things. And we all have the dream of like, Wes Anderson needs you to be a bellhop and something like, yeah, of course. I'd love to go do that, but I don't think I'll ever be able to make a living unless I'm maybe writing it myself or another show.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 1:08:09Speaker 04

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• 1:08:37Dax Shepard?

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• 1:09:20Dax Shepard?

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• 1:09:44Speaker 02

  You know, it's so funny. We were talking about those roles that I did from 2004. It was exciting. I was like, oh, I'm gonna go be on Curb and play like Richard Lewis's assistant. Oh, I'm gonna go be in Forty Old Virgin and I'll be Natalie Portman's other friend that's not Greta Gerwig and we're gonna do whatever. But what was interesting about that, and I'm so curious about you guys, is I was never a part of a comedy clique. And I was really jealous and I had a chip on my shoulder about it. Because in that aughts time, you were in a clique or you weren't. I was on The Office, so maybe people were like, well, she's there. And maybe you could argue that that was a clique, but the writing staff was very competitive with each other. We all had our own private ambitions, our own stuff we wanted to do. We wanted to write the best script, kill the table read, have Steve Carell think we were the funniest writer.

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  We were all friends also and helping each other, but we were like, when are we gonna get a show? And I was jealous of Judd and Seth and Jason, and then there was Amy and Tina and Will doing the ice skating movie.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  The Danny McBride camp.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Danny McBride came a little bit later. Remember then that there was the fempire? It was literally a Click of female writers that were successful. And I was like Diablo and Liz Merriweather. And so I felt like the entire odds was me coming up on a show that I loved, but being like, why can't I be in a clique?

• 1:11:00Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:11:01Speaker 02

  I remember, I'm just talking, sorry.

• 1:11:02Dax Shepard?

  No, yeah, yeah, no, I relate to it deeply.

• 1:11:05Speaker 02

  You do?

• 1:11:05Dax Shepard?

  Cause I was like, I'm not in the Judd clique. I'm not in Will Ferrell's clique. I'm not in Vince Vaughn or Owen's clique.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  That clique, Wedding Crashers.

• 1:11:13Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and even Cooper was in that.

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  He's really funny in that movie.

• 1:11:17Dax Shepard?

  He is, he is. But I did have the Groundlings clique and all those guys have Boom Chicago or I O. I understand feeling like, oh, they're all from this thing.

• 1:11:25Speaker 02

  It really fueled me in a good and bad way where I was like, I don't have Lorne. I don't have Judd. I don't have any of these people who are gonna do something for me. I gotta do it myself. I'm gonna show them all I had that energy. But also cliques exist because people are friends. They go out to dinner and they ask each other about their lives.

• 1:11:43Dax Shepard?

  You kind of earn those cliques. No one knocks on your door and says, hey, you want to be in the Judd clique?

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they're not just friends because they're trying to get ahead in their career. I'm such an introvert and so socially anxious that I remember being on the set for Forty Old Virgin. And there's the four rows of Video Village and Paul and Seth and Elizabeth Banks was gonna work that day. And Leslie Mann was there and they were all sitting at the front by the monitors joking around, talking and everything. And I was sitting in the back row and it became so awkward because I didn't feel like I knew how to jump in. And I also knew, cause I'd been in The Office, that feeling when someone's trying to be part of it. And I didn't want to do that.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  Desperation.

• 1:12:20Speaker 02

  Desperation. I'm like, I'm feeling desperate. So whatever I say is going to sound like, Paul and Banks, like whatever. And so I just went back to my trailer. I remember thinking, I hope, hope, hope that they don't think that I was being cold.

• 1:12:34Dax Shepard?

  Standoffish or something. Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  I mean, the truth is they weren't thinking about me. I was a day player on Forty Old Virgin. But I remember being like, what a missed opportunity. If I was better socially, I could have been smiley. And then when they turned to me, been like, I almost wanted to go to Maui. You know, whatever, their Hawaiian vacation conversation. Cause people do that really successfully that are just normal and nice. And you're like, yeah, come join the convo.

• 1:12:56Dax Shepard?

  Then you get into this situation, you end up getting mad at yourself that you're not a certain type of person. But that certain type of person also wouldn't have gotten you there in the first place. If you were some crazy social butterfly, I don't know that you spend the time in your room writing. I don't know that you bring notebooks to the movie theater when you're 15 and start writing down dialogue. There's a lot of things you probably don't do. If you had that skill set. So it's like, you can only be so regretful that you weren't that way.

• 1:13:21Speaker 02

  Loneliness is a choice, I think. And as I'm getting older, what I'm noticing, I have a friend, Prisa, who said this to me. She was like, oh, yeah, we gotta get dinner next month. And I'm always like, I'm tired. I don't want to do whatever. And she's like, you can't be one of those old people that has no friends except their spouse. You just want to watch your Netflix. So you kind of just have to make dinner plans and go. I have three kids, which is a lot for an unmarried woman.

• 1:13:45Dax Shepard?

  You have a one year old, a four year old and a seven year old.

• 1:13:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, 10 months, four and seven. And I remember thinking recently, did I have three kids? So I have three friends, like Michael Scott.

• 1:13:53Dax Shepard?

  By the way, because mine are a little older. They're 10 and 11.

• 1:13:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:56Dax Shepard?

  And they're just straight up friends.

• 1:13:57Speaker 02

  They're friends.

• 1:13:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I took my 11 year old to Lisbon last year to see Taylor Swift. One of the best trips I've ever had with a woman in my life.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  What you just described is literally what I'm longing for. I cannot wait till my daughter's just a little bit older.

• 1:14:08Dax Shepard?

  It's around the corner.

• 1:14:09Speaker 02

  I was just in Paris. I just can't wait to take her.

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  Oh, how fun.

• 1:14:12Dax Shepard?

  Wait till you're arguing with them because they have a different point of view about a political thing or a world event. That is so fun, seeing their little brains. No, actually, I'm different than you. I'm gonna show you. I'm like, oh, this is great.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  But I agree that they can't replace friendships, or that's the thing they talk about in therapy. Like, my mom only has me. I'm her friend, but she's my mom.

• 1:14:36Dax Shepard?

  They can, but they'll leave. That's the problem.

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  They'll leave. They go to college. They go do their thing.

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  My new resolution is I have to start watering and adding fertilizer to my adult friendships.

• 1:14:47Dax Shepard?

  And it's a hack to just plan it way out. Right now, you should be making plans for March.

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  March 19th.

• 1:14:52Dax Shepard?

  Because right now, you're like, I can't do anything in the next three weeks.

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:14:56Dax Shepard?

  But you think for some reason on March 20th, you'll be available. I think that's how you hack arc disposition. Schedule it for way far out because you'll say yes. And you'll put it in a calendar and then you'll just have to go because you do everything that's in your calendar.

• 1:15:09Speaker 02

  So I'll just be like, Monica and I are going to Dunsborough, end of March.

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  I, oh my God, yes.

• 1:15:14Dax Shepard?

  Her phone just exploded.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  Also, Dunsborough, great place.

• 1:15:20Speaker 02

  Haven't been, but was proud of the reference.

• 1:15:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:22Speaker 02

  Heard it's cool.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:15:23Dax Shepard?

  Listen, you guys both love fashion. You love rom coms.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  I love fashion. Love rom coms. Love it all. And then another thing in common that I obviously want to talk to you about is the kids, because I have frozen my eggs.

• 1:15:38Speaker 02

  Good for you.

• 1:15:38Speaker 01

  I did it on air.

• 1:15:40Dax Shepard?

  It was a show.

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, we did a show. It did not go great for me. I got two mature eggs the first time and then I did it again and I got seven. So I have nine, which isn't amazing, but it is what it is. And when the fires happened, I was like, are my eggs gone? Cause they were in Pasadena. And then I thought, how would I feel if they were gone? I'm not a person that knows. I'm definitely having kids. Were you like, I'm definitely gonna be a mom in this life?

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, I felt when I was a kid, I'm definitely getting married because I love romantic love and I love men and romance and I'm definitely gonna have children. And then when I got into my twenties and I had a couple of pretty unfulfilling relationships. And then I was, I was in my thirties, I was like, I don't know that me getting married and honestly divorces and seeing some of that

• 1:16:30Dax Shepard?

  Did your parents stay married?

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  They had an amazing marriage and particularly when my mom got sick and the way my dad took care of her.

• 1:16:36Dax Shepard?

  Both of our parents died in the same year, by the way.

• 1:16:38Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 1:16:38Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, 2012.

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  2012. What my dad did for my mom in that final year, I was like, wow, what a great guy, but what a great marriage. But anyway, I knew that I wanted children, but I was old enough at that point and had enough sort of disposable income and had seen so many acrimonious divorces. I hope this doesn't sound bad and this is not gonna be relatable to a lot of listeners, but a person would have built up their career and their nest egg and then they have a divorce and half of their money's done.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  That should happen in most cases and California laws are reason to protect families and I get it, but I was like, damn, I don't want that.

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:17:11Speaker 02

  Not that it's all about the money. And so this romantic part of me that was like, you're gonna find your Darcy was like, well, what if Darcy takes on me?

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  Takes all my money.

• 1:17:20Speaker 02

  And then takes half my money. And then I have these fantasies, cause I'm insane, where I'm like, he's gonna take half my money and his bitch wife, they'll get a fucking Fifth Avenue apartment.

• 1:17:30Dax Shepard?

  She'll go buy all the stuff you didn't let yourself buy?

• 1:17:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then my office residuals from playing Kelly, they're gonna be sending their kids to Dalton in the Upper West Side or whatever while I'm childless, because I have revenge fantasies, not healthy at all. I was like, I don't want my money to go to this hypothetical ex and his new family. I also was like, I wanna have Christmas and Thanksgiving. My children every year because I'm a writer and also insane. These fantasies where I'm like, so I would be then alone where my children were going to this other person's house.

• 1:18:00Dax Shepard?

  Do you think because you had such an active fantasy about what it was all gonna be that men have had a hard time living up to what you were fantasizing about?

• 1:18:08Speaker 02

  Yes, having a guy that is very funny, independently wealthy, busy, six, two.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, these are all mine.

• 1:18:17Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean? Jewish. No, it's just good body, but not too good.

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:23Speaker 02

  Has a hairy chest but not too hairy.

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  Not a perfect face. You don't want it cookie cutter. It needs to have some character to it.

• 1:18:29Speaker 02

  Chip tooth.

• 1:18:32Speaker 01

  Your standards are high as they should be.

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, smart and funny with a job in health insurance, which by the way, in LA is actually pretty hard. Although, you know what's weird? I know the version of that that's a single woman in excess.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 1:18:46Speaker 02

  And like a hot woman. I know so many writers on all my shows that are like a 29 year old, educated, funny. They were the first to when the fires happened, they're like, let's go make sandwiches.

• 1:18:56Dax Shepard?

  I'll add, this will sound like pandering, but I believe it. I do think as a man becomes more successful and wealthy, his options widen. And I think for a woman, they narrow the pool of men you guys have to choose from that are not going to be threatened by your job and your wealth and your status and your attention is a very small pool. I feel fucking heartbroken for half of the females we interview. We were watching the Paris Hilton documentary. And I'm like, this fucking guy ruins her show, gets too drunk, makes a scene because he's so jealous. Everyone wants her attention. And it's like, what's that girl to do? Who the fuck is she gonna meet?

• 1:19:30Speaker 02

  I know. And so what was a real gift to me was the ability to really enjoy my autonomy. I know it might surprise people, but I love seeing my friends' marriages that work. I love my married couples. I love hanging out with my friends who are married couples. But I love my life so much. I am so invested in what's going on with my children. But also I have the sort of extra bandwidth to have these several shows on the air and to be able to do all the editing and managerial and going to sets and traveling for all that. Still take care of my three children. I don't know that it's because, but I think it's helped because I'm not having to care for an adult. And ask about their day and my in-laws. Also compromise on decisions.

• 1:20:15Speaker 02

  I don't have to compromise at all. I don't have to run anything by anyone. There's never a miscommunication with the nanny because I said bedtime was this time, but actually it's this. Small things too. My friends are saints, planning the birthday gifts for your brother-in-law's wife. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. I just finished a day of work. I'm not going on fucking shop bop and buying Lindsay a sweat suit that she likes. I can't be doing that. And so it might change. I'm really open to it.

• 1:20:43Dax Shepard?

  I have a famous friend, she'll remain anonymous, but her famous husband said, I need a wife. They had kids and they were both working and she's like, yeah, I need a wife too.

• 1:20:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:51Dax Shepard?

  We both need a fucking one.

• 1:20:54Speaker 02

  Your relationship, Kristen, is so rare because you both are so successful and you have really fulfilling careers, but you make it work.

• 1:21:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, but again, I think I was designed to have this in that my mother was a gangster. She was a fucking super ambitious badass and we had to get with the program and I only were attracted to people like that. I have to have a pretty good sense that you'll choose something over me to be interested.

• 1:21:24Speaker 02

  That's really rare in men. Is that a generalization? That's correct?

• 1:21:28Dax Shepard?

  No, I think it is. I think most men, by no fault of their own, they grew up in a married house where mom didn't go to work. That was what was modeled. And so for me, that wasn't modeled. The notion that someone would not leave the house and go gather information and bring it back and share it with us seems crazy to me. But we've had a lot of male guests. Most men who are married to gangsters, their moms were gangsters.

• 1:21:49Speaker 02

  Your son's in good shape.

• 1:21:50Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:21:51Speaker 02

  I hope so.

• 1:21:52Dax Shepard?

  He'll be able to handle a Mindy.

• 1:21:53Speaker 02

  And want it. I think that's the difference. Meanwhile, I want him to marry like a demure woman who just is like pliable. Yes.

• 1:22:01Dax Shepard?

  If it gets with the program.

• 1:22:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, because they need to come over.

• 1:22:04Dax Shepard?

  Come to your house for Christmas.

• 1:22:05Speaker 02

  Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  But I think it's really incredible. The idea of doing it by myself really scares me. So I love seeing it.

• 1:22:13Speaker 02

  It scared me for the longest time. And then it was Reese Witherspoon. I was getting ready to shoot a movie and it got delayed for some reason. And I was like, oh, well, I'm gonna just wait. And she was like, do this. Do not wait until it's too late. And no woman wants to tell another woman TikTok.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:22:29Speaker 02

  It's not feminist. It's kind of a bummer.

• 1:22:31Speaker 01

  Sure, but it's the truth.

• 1:22:32Speaker 02

  It's the truth. We were in her trailer in a field in New Zealand. She was like, if you want this, you have to do it now. Otherwise, and she listed some people that I knew of, but not known personally, some very famous women who waited and then it was too late. It's only possible because I waited till I was 37 to have my daughter because I had disposable income. I have my nanny, I have my dad who helps.

• 1:22:51Dax Shepard?

  Does your dad live with you?

• 1:22:53Speaker 02

  No, but he lives in West Hollywood.

• 1:22:54Speaker 01

  You wrote the sweetest little post about him. Maybe it was for Father's Day where he comes and takes care of the kids or, you know, spins in the chair with them.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  Every single one of my children, he has picked up, taken them for like a 45 minute walk every single morning for like the first year of their life. And this is a guy who grew up in Chennai.

• 1:23:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:23:12Speaker 02

  In like the 50s. And so he came here and he's just gotten on board with everything. He's gotten on board with my lifestyle. He's gotten on board with three children, no husband. My mom passed away. She was the motor of our family. She was the superstar of our family. She was the one that everyone could individually relate to the most. And she was gone. And he's like, okay, I gotta be that. I gotta not be judgmental about everything in her life when he definitely could have been. He met my stepmom, who is amazing. My stepmom is so beloved by my children. Her name is Lynn. Born and raised in Santa Monica, a beautiful, nice Jewish lady who met my dad at their apartment complex.

• 1:23:48Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 1:23:49Dax Shepard?

  That was a meet cute at the apartment complex.

• 1:23:51Speaker 02

  Meet cute apartment complex. They met two years later, got married in my backyard. So he's gone through so much stuff, make a lot of generalizations about a man of a certain generation and what they're willing to do. And I even make fun of them on my shows about not being flexible. And he has been in complete defiance of those things.

• 1:24:08Speaker 01

  That's beautiful.

• 1:24:09Speaker 02

  While still being a traditional Indian guy with like an Indian accent, I feel lucky to have him.

• 1:24:13Dax Shepard?

  Have you, I'll just say my experience. So my dad died in 2012. I was going home nonstop to do it all. I think you did the same thing.

• 1:24:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:22Dax Shepard?

  He was a dependent the last several years of his life. It was taxing and we were about to have a child. And when he first died, my truest feeling was relief.

• 1:24:32Speaker 02

  Did you mean a financial dependent?

• 1:24:34Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:34Speaker 02

  And also emotional.

• 1:24:35Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And the dynamic of if he called, I knew it was to get another thing. It just, it was a hard thing to navigate. And so when he died initially, I just kind of felt relief. I don't have all the stuff I normally deal with and I'm already busy. I was shooting on Parenthood, just directed a movie that came out. And then about three months later, I had the wave of like, oh boy, he's gone. And then obviously throughout the last 11 years of having kids, I go, oh my God, what do you love these girls? I'm like heartbroken. He didn't get to meet these little girls. He would have been so in love with them. And it's weird, my missing of him is only increased. It's taken the opposite trajectory, I would have thought.

• 1:25:17Speaker 02

  It's remarkable how, two things, it doesn't totally get easier when you love someone. But it's also surprised me how my relationship with my mom has continued in some ways. What you said about the last years of your dad's life, the one thing that TV and film does, I think that is such an injustice is people are not at their best when they're dying.

• 1:25:37Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:25:38Speaker 02

  They're at their worst, they're scared, depressed. But in TV and film, you see things like little women and everyone's angelic and the best they've ever been before they die. And it is a lie. My mother was my best friend and she was a doctor and she was as stoic as it comes, but she was scared. And from the time she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer to the time she died was eight months and she knew it was going to happen. And she knew exactly the trajectory of it. She was a doctor and she was so frightened and negative. We were all relieved because she wasn't in pain. That feeling actually made me feel so much guilt.

• 1:26:12Dax Shepard?

  You've seen it get really, really ugly. It might add same, like diagnosis to death, four months. There's no treatment for small cell carcinoma. Not gonna happen, but that whole four months, you're like, how ugly will it get? Will I have to decide at some point? He went out relatively peacefully. I'm relieved about that.

• 1:26:28Speaker 02

  My mom too. It was better that my mom went in eight months than in four years.

• 1:26:32Dax Shepard?

  My memories stopped being about the last couple of years and my memories and my dreams, he'd be younger in them. I was able to re-remember.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  The stuff that came before, the illness. That was a challenge for me. I really had to do that. Because a lot of times I would try not to think about her because it would make me feel too sad. And I was like, well, she wouldn't want that. The thing with the kids though, there's so much, of course, that's so triggering where you're like, oh my God, my mom would have loved this. Oh my God, now I understand why my mom did this. And to not be able to call her and be like, when I was 12 and such a pain in the ass. And you were just trying your best and I was being difficult about that. I wish I could just call her and be like, I'm so sorry.

• 1:27:11Speaker 01

  As parents though, you don't need that.

• 1:27:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's true.

• 1:27:15Speaker 01

  You don't need your kids who are being assholes to in 30 years call you and be like, remember when I did that? I'm sorry.

• 1:27:22Speaker 02

  I don't know. I'm pretty petty. I think I would enjoy it to be like, thank you.

• 1:27:26Dax Shepard?

  Finally.

• 1:27:27Speaker 01

  That was really hard. I've been waiting. I mean, yes and no. It's nice, but you don't need it.

• 1:27:32Speaker 02

  Do you have a thing, Dex, with your daughters? My daughter, she's seven now and she says stuff that's just chilling to me. Where it's so soulful and I wish I could help her. We're transitioning from Legos into bed and the transitions are hard for her. She wants to keep everything going. My son just can move on. Hey, let's do that. He'll ask months and I'm like, no, and he'll be fine. But my daughter, every night in negotiation, she says to me, when can I be in charge of what I want to do? And I was literally just like, I am so sorry. It's not going to be for a long, long time. For seven, but I know that feeling. She always says that she hates eating and she's like, why do we have to do this three times a day? And I love eating and I just like look forward to my meals, but I wouldn't want to eat the kids food, but she can't eat spicy food or interesting food, but it's so repetitive.

• 1:28:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:18Speaker 02

  And boring and you have no autonomy. And I just sit there and I'm like, I wish I could just let you be Drew Barrymore. Let's go to the club. Let's go do it.

• 1:28:25Dax Shepard?

  The fucking stream. You want to drive?

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 1:28:28Dax Shepard?

  I love those moments. Because of course I relate so much.

• 1:28:31Speaker 02

  I relate.

• 1:28:32Dax Shepard?

  To I just wanted like, when can I call the shots? I don't agree with anything that's happening around me and I just subject to it. And so I go, oh, I love it. It's fucking maddening. Both of our kids are so stubborn, but I have so much gratitude. They're stubborn. Everyone I know and like and respect and has done the things I've wanted to do. Stubbornness is, I think, an essential ingredient and I just gotta let it happen.

• 1:28:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:55Dax Shepard?

  I didn't live in fantasies about girls, as you know, at 12, that fantasy came true or 13. But I had such rich fantasies about being rich, about being famous. Wealth was something that was so coveted and it was going to feel a certain way. Being accepted by famous people was going to feel a certain way.

• 1:29:12Speaker 02

  I relate to that, too.

• 1:29:13Dax Shepard?

  They're a little underwhelming when they happen, or at least they didn't fill the thing. But I have got to say, and people think I'm baby shaming when I say this, but boy, did that thing for me 10x what I was expecting. Has that been your experience?

• 1:29:25Speaker 02

  The answer is yes. I was never a kid person. Are you guys naturally kid people? Do you gravitate towards children?

• 1:29:33Speaker 01

  Specific children, yes, but no, I am not someone who sees a baby at a restaurant and is like, oh my God, my ovaries are exploding. I've never had that.

• 1:29:42Speaker 02

  And neither did I.

• 1:29:42Dax Shepard?

  None of them have ever exploded.

• 1:29:44Speaker 01

  Well, except for Delta. Delta's the only, their kid.

• 1:29:47Dax Shepard?

  Carmelo Anthony.

• 1:29:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, obviously.

• 1:29:51Speaker 01

  And Minnie's imitation, they're a goswah. But their kid, when I first came in, I started nannying for them. That's how I started here, is their second kid. And I babysat a lot. That's how I made money. But that is the first kid that I thought, I understand what people are talking about where they're just drawn. It doesn't really matter if they're mean to you. You still love them.

• 1:30:11Speaker 02

  So nice that you were a daughter.

• 1:30:13Speaker 01

  It's a very special relate. I feel very grateful for it.

• 1:30:16Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she's gonna name her daughter Monica. She's already declared.

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  She's my soulmate.

• 1:30:20Dax Shepard?

  But those can be powerful. Favreau, to put him on blast, when I was doing the movie Zathura and he directed it, I was around his family a lot and his daughter Madeline, we would go trick or treating and she would ride on my shoulders the whole time. Like, we just were in love. That made me go like, oh, I must have a Madeline before I die. I got to have. This little girl on my shoulders.

• 1:30:40Speaker 02

  I never had that dynamic. I also babysat for money when I lived in Brooklyn, right around when I was doing Mountain Ben. I liked children and it was a good way to make money, but I didn't have that feeling. And then with my kids, it really made me understand my mother, because my mother, literally an ABGYN, but not a kid person,

• 1:30:57Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 1:30:58Speaker 02

  but was obsessed with us. And I was like, I get it. It unlocked a love of children. I now love children. Like, all I want to do is, when you are Kristen post voters, I'm like, I want that emoji to be moved. I want to see their pretty little face.

• 1:31:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah. When I see babies, I do run over. I'm like, who's this new person that just got to planet Earth? What's going on with you?

• 1:31:16Speaker 02

  And it's so sweet. And I didn't think that about myself, but I'm surprised how much the same person I am before, too. Still competitive, still weird pettiness, still chips on my shoulders and all that. That did not go away. I just love and want to protect children. When I see movies that have children in them, I now am more affected by them.

• 1:31:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:31:36Speaker 02

  Where's that Dev Patel movie, Lion? Did you see that?

• 1:31:38Speaker 01

  I didn't see that.

• 1:31:39Speaker 02

  I mean, just anything about children on their own, or in peril, or anything like that, I can't take it. But that relationship I have with these kids has been so unbelievably profound. And to be able to have a family that I made myself, and there's just the four of us in our family staring at each other.

• 1:31:56Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:31:56Speaker 02

  We go to our little vacations. We're going to Montana, and I'm waiting in the river with them.

• 1:32:00Speaker 01

  You're like, I did it.

• 1:32:01Speaker 02

  I did it. We all have those friends, male or female, where they don't feel complete unless they have a partner. And I'm not judgmental about that, because I felt like I used to be that way. Something happened where I don't need it, but I'm open to it. J Lo has been in so many relationships in the time that I've been single. And I don't know her at all, but I've been like, she's a romantic.

• 1:32:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:32:22Speaker 01

  Well, she's a love addict, she says.

• 1:32:24Speaker 02

  When she got back together with Ben, she was like, we must do a documentary about it. It fuels her.

• 1:32:28Dax Shepard?

  Let's revisit when your daughter's two, maybe.

• 1:32:31Speaker 02

  We'll revisit.

• 1:32:32Dax Shepard?

  We'll revisit. Let's not get a permanent, let's not get a tattoo.

• 1:32:35Speaker 02

  I'll save my tattoo.

• 1:32:36Dax Shepard?

  Okay, well, we talked about Running Point. I just want to say, I watched it. First of all, as I said, I got so excited in the credits, because Mike Weaver, I couldn't love more. I love that you're writing it with Ike and Dave. I love Jeannie Buss. I love the story. Kate's an ex-girlfriend, so that's complicated.

• 1:32:52Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:32:52Dax Shepard?

  We're ex-lovers.

• 1:32:54Speaker 02

  Was this a serious, long-term relationship?

• 1:32:56Dax Shepard?

  No, it was a summer romance, right before I met Kristen.

• 1:33:00Speaker 02

  Hot.

• 1:33:00Dax Shepard?

  Three months, four months.

• 1:33:01Speaker 01

  But it left a mark. You really remember that as a big relationship.

• 1:33:05Speaker 02

  Were you like going to the Halloween party? Were you part of that?

• 1:33:08Dax Shepard?

  I was. I was friends with her brother, Oliver. I'm trying to think of the order of how... You know what it was? She was playing poker when she was still married at Oliver's house, and I was there one night. And I put on the show of my life for her.

• 1:33:20Speaker 02

  Who wouldn't? She's a very appealing woman.

• 1:33:22Dax Shepard?

  Yes. And I think at the time, I was probably 30 and she was 25. Best performance ever. And I knew, oh, she kind of likes me. She's married, but she likes who I am. And then, yeah, I got invited to a Halloween party. And then, a couple of years later, a year later or something, she was divorced. I was single for the first time in eight and a half years. And we went to a dinner at a restaurant with friends, and then we had a romance. She's been on and we've discussed it publicly.

• 1:33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's not like a secret.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  I love a sexy summer pass with Kate Hudson.

• 1:33:52Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, there was a lot of travel. I got to meet Kurt and Goldie. It was very exciting.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  Do you know who was after her?

• 1:33:57Speaker 02

  Who?

• 1:33:58Speaker 01

  Ashley Olsen.

• 1:33:59Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:34:00Speaker 01

  I know. And then Kristen. Look at this record.

• 1:34:04Speaker 02

  Well, Ashley Olsen's so cool too, because she's so elusive.

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:34:07Speaker 02

  The Row. I mean, fashion-wise.

• 1:34:11Dax Shepard?

  Are you obsessed with her? Because Monica is obsessed.

• 1:34:14Speaker 01

  With The Row and them.

• 1:34:15Speaker 02

  I'm obsessed with The Row. I think because they're so out of culture, I actually haven't been able to become obsessed with them because I know so little about them.

• 1:34:22Speaker 01

  That's why, though.

• 1:34:23Speaker 02

  But The Row is expensive for me, and I'm rich.

• 1:34:25Speaker 01

  I know. I know.

• 1:34:28Speaker 02

  I look at The Row and it's like a sitcom. I'm like, is there an extra zero on that?

• 1:34:32Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:34:33Dax Shepard?

  Is this someone's telephone number?

• 1:34:36Speaker 02

  And what you also find, that it's so expensive, and then you find people that you deem yourself to be more rich than, who are wearing The Row?

• 1:34:42Speaker 01

  That's you and me. You are definitely more rich than me, but I don't have three children.

• 1:34:47Speaker 02

  And you're head to toe in The Row?

• 1:34:49Speaker 01

  I'm often head to Row.

• 1:34:50Speaker 02

  Now I'm like, I know you guys are doing well. What if she's like old Indian money?

• 1:34:55Dax Shepard?

  She doesn't have old Indian money. She has nouveau riche podcast money.

• 1:34:59Speaker 01

  I'm still waiting for that windfall of the old Indian money to appear.

• 1:35:02Speaker 02

  He's super talented. Trevor Noah. On the news, they were like, he just purchased a house for $28 million in Brentwood or something. This was three years ago. I think it said he's like one of four homes. And I was like, damn Daily Show money. And then they're like, no, no, no, it's a stand up.

• 1:35:16Dax Shepard?

  These stand ups are making tens of millions of dollars.

• 1:35:19Speaker 02

  They earn it.

• 1:35:19Speaker 01

  They do. They do.

• 1:35:20Dax Shepard?

  They live on the road.

• 1:35:22Speaker 02

  Now, I'll say this, the thing I should have done if I wasn't a comedy writer is finance. I love making money. I love knowing about people's money. I love with Gilded Age in New York.

• 1:35:33Dax Shepard?

  The protection class.

• 1:35:34Speaker 02

  I think it's great. I think everyone on the front of their house should say how they bought it. If it was through their money, their wives, they inherited it. Cause otherwise it's too much. Like Trevor Noah, I'm gonna tell him this if I see him this Oscar season at a party. He should write, stand up tour furnished by Daily Show money, 62 dates.

• 1:35:52Dax Shepard?

  10,000 seats a venue.

• 1:35:54Speaker 02

  I think when you don't have family money and you aren't from old money, I mean, literally my bio and my Instagram is new money. I think it's fascinating.

• 1:36:01Speaker 01

  No, me too. We have to talk about this because I wonder if this is an Indian thing, maybe a little bit, because there's a big backlash in America against people with money.

• 1:36:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh yeah, there's like almost gonna be an agrarian revolution.

• 1:36:14Speaker 01

  Everyone hates billionaires right now. They're like, you're not relatable if you're rich. And I thought the goal was to become one of these people. I grew up hearing be successful. That means that.

• 1:36:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, we have a different playbook, I think.

• 1:36:28Speaker 01

  I think so. I'm not on board with hating. I mean, look, I don't like everything all these billionaires are doing.

• 1:36:34Speaker 02

  Billionaires are a different thing. And none of them are paying taxes. They sort of are exempt from the daily indignities the rest of us have to do, which is not fair.

• 1:36:41Speaker 01

  It's made them all weird, to be fair.

• 1:36:43Speaker 02

  Yes, it's made them all weird. In my twenties and thirties, you would hear, did you know Olivia Munn invested in Uber in the first round? And now she has $27 billion? And you're like, why isn't anyone inviting me? And then the four things that I do invest in make famously zero. I'd like to think that I'm only obsessed with money and how people get it, because I think it would be so nice to have so much with my children that I could just go teach. I'd love to go teach TV writing or teach Latin or one of these other things that's interesting to me. I could travel.

• 1:37:12Dax Shepard?

  I'm obsessed with it too. I admit all the time, I'm a very greedy pig. Okay. Well, I want to make sure we talked about running point enough. As we discussed, I saw it. It's great. I blew through three of them intending to only watch one.

• 1:37:24Speaker 02

  That's really nice.

• 1:37:25Dax Shepard?

  And I love everyone in it.

• 1:37:26Speaker 02

  Justin Thro is very funny in it and a cool guy.

• 1:37:28Dax Shepard?

  He's so handsome.

• 1:37:29Speaker 02

  He is a great looking guy, great body.

• 1:37:32Dax Shepard?

  Oh, beautiful.

• 1:37:33Speaker 02

  But I think he's comparably funny to his looks.

• 1:37:36Dax Shepard?

  And smart. I'm friends with him.

• 1:37:38Speaker 02

  Okay. I don't know him really. So I give birth on Sunday and the show started shooting on Monday.

• 1:37:43Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Okay. So you missed the table read.

• 1:37:46Speaker 02

  I came a week later and I met him on set and I was watching dailies, obviously, but we had almost like a parasocial relationship because I'd seen all the dailies. And I obviously know of him and the way that you guys talk about him and Spartless guys talks about him and everything, but I've only had a couple of short conversations with him, but he's very funny.

• 1:38:02Dax Shepard?

  He's very, very funny and he's very well read.

• 1:38:04Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:38:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yes. He is tangentially related to Henry David Thro.

• 1:38:09Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:38:10Dax Shepard?

  He comes from good stock.

• 1:38:12Speaker 02

  He's the opposite of what? He's not new money.

• 1:38:15Dax Shepard?

  And Kate's great. We love seeing her do this. You were already obsessed with her as a rom com person.

• 1:38:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. She's good at portraying anger in a way that it's still sort of palatable. Networks don't like when women scream at other people, especially their employees. They're just like, well, nobody wants to see that. And yet she can do it in a way where you're like, let that billionaire get what she wants.

• 1:38:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:38Speaker 02

  It's funny because I'd worked on two shows with more unknown casts. I'd done College Girls, which has like amazing cast, but were relatively unknown. And then never have I ever where we really were trying to find people. And it was kind of fun to do this show where she was just like a pro.

• 1:38:54Dax Shepard?

  A pro, yeah.

• 1:38:55Speaker 02

  And Justin and Jay and Max Greenfield, everyone had just done it.

• 1:38:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:39:00Speaker 02

  And every show is challenging for different reasons, but it was great to work with the median age was like 38 or higher. That was fun. I hadn't done that in a while.

• 1:39:08Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. They know not to block anyone's light. They know where to find the camera. They actually can show up and pretty much give you what you want pretty darn quickly.

• 1:39:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she's just old school. She's probably had to see some really bleak shit as an actress coming up at the time she came up, just a pro.

• 1:39:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:24Speaker 02

  She's not getting a sense of identity herself from her workplace.

• 1:39:27Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:39:27Speaker 02

  She's just like, I know who I am.

• 1:39:29Dax Shepard?

  That's her job. She's good at it.

• 1:39:31Speaker 02

  And Brenda Song is such a pro too. I mean, she was a child actor who came in and super funny.

• 1:39:35Dax Shepard?

  Ike's dad is in it, which delights me because he was so good in Jury Duty. And I'm like, this guy, I can't believe he was a judge. He was born that.

• 1:39:45Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what's funny about Ike's dad's being in it is because we really wanted him to come play this part.

• 1:39:49Dax Shepard?

  He's the family lawyer, which is great of an old school, multi-generational.

• 1:39:54Speaker 01

  Was he a judge or a lawyer in real life?

• 1:39:56Speaker 02

  In real life, he was a lawyer. He played a judge on Jury Duty. And now he's playing a lawyer.

• 1:40:01Speaker 01

  Okay, got it.

• 1:40:01Speaker 02

  But he'd been on Jury Duty, which was a very hot show. I loved it.

• 1:40:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, us too.

• 1:40:06Speaker 02

  And he was very good on it. I think he was one of the best parts of the show.

• 1:40:09Dax Shepard?

  Absolutely.

• 1:40:10Speaker 02

  So for this one, we were like, it'd be great, Ike, as if your dad can play this part. But my knowledge of him is like the guy I used to have Thanksgiving with before I had children. And then we heard through casting that his agent's like, they have a counter. And I was like, what?

• 1:40:25Dax Shepard?

  Well, he's a lawyer.

• 1:40:26Speaker 01

  Good for him.

• 1:40:28Dax Shepard?

  Well, Mindy, we waited a long time and I'm so happy for you to say yes.

• 1:40:32Speaker 02

  This is so fun, you guys.

• 1:40:34Dax Shepard?

  We love you. We do so much.

• 1:40:37Speaker 02

  This is really nice. I loved being here. I'm really such fans. I love what you get out of the people you talk to. It's really incredible. I know you've done 800 episodes.

• 1:40:45Speaker 01

  You might be 800.

• 1:40:47Dax Shepard?

  No.

• 1:40:48Speaker 01

  We're past that?

• 1:40:49Speaker 02

  Past that.

• 1:40:49Dax Shepard?

  Eight sixty-four. Eight sixty-four. Those are good numbers. They're all even. They're all divisible by two.

• 1:40:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, we like that.

• 1:40:56Dax Shepard?

  Four, three, two. That's nice. That's how I'm gonna four, three, two. Well, you're never social, so I'll never see you out in public. So I guess I'm glad that I got this.

• 1:41:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. Have me on again.

• 1:41:06Dax Shepard?

  We'll have to have you on for our date. Truly an honor. Everyone, check out Running Point. I only had to watch one and I watched three. I love it. Oh, the other thing, your mom's name is Swati.

• 1:41:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:41:15Dax Shepard?

  So we just learned this term. People in England say Swati for nerd. It means like you're.

• 1:41:20Speaker 02

  A Swati?

• 1:41:21Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:41:21Speaker 02

  Oh, that's so funny.

• 1:41:22Dax Shepard?

  And it was an Indian Englishwoman who explained.

• 1:41:24Speaker 02

  No, I didn't know that.

• 1:41:25Dax Shepard?

  It means you really sweat. You work hard.

• 1:41:28Speaker 02

  That describes me perfectly. Swati to the core.

• 1:41:32Dax Shepard?

  Swati through and through. You bleed Swati.

• 1:41:34Speaker 02

  I do. There you go.

• 1:41:35Dax Shepard?

  All right. Well, we love you. Thank you for coming and come back so we can see you again.

• 1:41:39Speaker 02

  Thanks for having me, guys. Fun.

• 1:41:45Speaker 05

  Time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gonna let him have the facts.

• 1:41:51Dax Shepard?

  We've got a bit of a role reversal happening. Let me remove my spectacles.

• 1:41:55Speaker 01

  Let me put my spectacles on.

• 1:41:57Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:42:00Speaker 01

  Cause you said we have a role reversal.

• 1:42:02Dax Shepard?

  We do have a role reversal. Usually you're dressed quite warm and I'm dressed in a chilly, like, um, no, you're dressed very warm and I'm dressed very scantily.

• 1:42:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're in a jacket, which is weird because it's hot out.

• 1:42:14Dax Shepard?

  It's a hoodie. I don't know if I'm gonna say it's a jacket.

• 1:42:17Speaker 01

  Oh, you think that's, they're different? That's really, really piecing.

• 1:42:22Dax Shepard?

  You don't think a sweatshirt and a jacket are different?

• 1:42:24Speaker 01

  I think a sweatshirt and a jacket are different, but I think a hoodie.

• 1:42:28Dax Shepard?

  Is a jacket.

• 1:42:29Speaker 01

  Is a jacket.

• 1:42:30Dax Shepard?

  Cause it has a zipper?

• 1:42:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42:32Dax Shepard?

  So if something has a zipper, you upgrade it to jacket status.

• 1:42:35Speaker 01

  Coat.

• 1:42:36Dax Shepard?

  If your Uncle Jack climbed up on the roof of the house and the ladder fell over, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

• 1:42:43Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 1:42:47Speaker 01

  Why did you say that?

• 1:42:48Dax Shepard?

  Have you ever heard that one?

• 1:42:49Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:42:51Dax Shepard?

  There was a lot of gold in the hallways of Spring Mills Elementary. That's, that's from way back in 83, I think.

• 1:42:57Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:42:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:59Speaker 01

  That got me good. I thought it was gonna be a riddle about a zipper.

• 1:43:05Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, it's just Jack. Somehow Jack got in my.

• 1:43:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:08Dax Shepard?

  vocab. Jacket. Correct.

• 1:43:11Speaker 01

  That's why.

• 1:43:12Dax Shepard?

  Fun update from Armcherry's. It turns out there's a lot of Armcherry's that are very, very in the know when it comes to Eames Chairs.

• 1:43:20Speaker 01

  Okay, great.

• 1:43:21Dax Shepard?

  That doesn't surprise me. People are, that's like, if you're into architecture, you're probably into Eames Chairs.

• 1:43:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:43:26Dax Shepard?

  So now, I do want to correct one person, like, hate to disappoint you. This doesn't disappoint me, it's worse.

• 1:43:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:43:32Dax Shepard?

  So DAX is a, is an acronym.

• 1:43:35Speaker 01

  For the thing. Bill Gates made?

• 1:43:37Dax Shepard?

  For the chair, for the Eames chair.

• 1:43:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:43:41Dax Shepard?

  So I can tell you what it stands for if you're interested.

• 1:43:44Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:43:44Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so it's a, an abbreviation or an acronym for dining, D. Armchair, A, on X base.

• 1:43:55Speaker 01

  Oh, dining armchair on X base. Great.

• 1:43:58Dax Shepard?

  But as we talked about DAX from the book, The Adventures was also an acronym, initials.

• 1:44:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:44:04Dax Shepard?

  So that's great. I think that's even better.

• 1:44:06Speaker 01

  Sure. It doesn't take away.

• 1:44:08Dax Shepard?

  I don't think it took away from the sim at all. I think it made it more simmy.

• 1:44:12Speaker 01

  Sure. I think we should, do you want to tell people what happened to us?

• 1:44:16Dax Shepard?

  When?

• 1:44:18Speaker 01

  Friday, the robbery.

• 1:44:20Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yes. Yeah, we.

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  We had a huge event happen to us.

• 1:44:26Dax Shepard?

  Yes. We recorded on Thursday and then I went out to eat with some friends that were in town. Oh, Ken Goldberg, previous guest, ding ding ding. Roboticist and this lovely family. So we went out to mess hall, met this great armchair. I don't know if I've told you about this armchair. There's an armchair and I, I see him on Instagram too. He has autism and he left a note for me at the restaurant, knowing I go there sometime.

• 1:44:55Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:44:56Dax Shepard?

  So I got this beautiful note from him and then I wrote him a note back and then I actually met him that night.

• 1:44:59Speaker 01

  Oh, amazing.

• 1:45:00Dax Shepard?

  He happened to be there. So come home, whatever. No big deal. That's Thursday night, Friday. Previous guest Seth Green comes over with his beautiful daughter and wife.

• 1:45:08Speaker 01

  Previous guest.

• 1:45:09Dax Shepard?

  It was a weekend of previous guests and we're all in the yard playing with the baby. The baby's way too cute. I want you to meet her so bad. She's so talkative and she's not even three. And she was hugging me and she said, give you a big hug. She goes, I love him.

• 1:45:27Dax Shepard?

  That I love you. I love him. I was melting. I was a puddle for like three hours playing with this little girl. Oh my God, the red hair, little Seth.

• 1:45:37Speaker 01

  Red hair. Green eyes.

• 1:45:39Dax Shepard?

  Red hair cares.

• 1:45:42Dax Shepard?

  I don't know. Okay, anyways, the Clara got thirsty. We were in the yard, so I was like, I'll just run into the studio and grab some water out of the fridge. Go to grab some water out of the fridge. And I'm like, huh. Rob took all of the cameras out of the studio this weekend. No, he's moonlighting on another job and he's just, he's embezzling, basically. He's just taking the equipment I've bought and he's got side projects and a side hustle.

• 1:46:09Speaker 01

  He bought with your money.

• 1:46:10Dax Shepard?

  I mean, that still means I bought.

• 1:46:11Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:46:12Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so.

• 1:46:13Speaker 01

  Potato, patata.

• 1:46:14Dax Shepard?

  Also, I need to say, earlier in the day, this is relevant, it's very relevant, actually. I was, I took a long bike ride. I pull him into my driveway. Carly's pulling out. She's got the window down. She's like, do you always get one? And I'm like, what? And then I slowly start turning around on my bicycle. And then I'm like going like half a mile an hour while I'm trying to talk to her, right? And I have the clip on bike shoes in, which I'm still an amateur at.

• 1:46:38Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:46:38Dax Shepard?

  And so I have this moment where I'm about to fall over, but I can't pull my foot off the pedal to stop. So I just fell over like a sheet of plywood. I just felt it was so, it was the stupidest fall of my life. Just imagine being on a bike and letting yourself go completely ninety degree.

• 1:46:55Speaker 01

  Did it hurt?

• 1:46:56Dax Shepard?

  No, it wasn't nearly as bad as a skating accident on my birthday.

• 1:47:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah.

• 1:47:02Dax Shepard?

  Fall guy.

• 1:47:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:04Dax Shepard?

  So I broke my phone when I hit the ground. I guess I hit hard enough that between my thigh and the cobblestone, I broke my phone.

• 1:47:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:47:12Dax Shepard?

  So, I'm like, oh.

• 1:47:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, that sucks.

• 1:47:16Dax Shepard?

  I gotta add, I'm driving to the mall, which I don't normally do. It's like it's gonna be a three hour ordeal, right? And I can't get my phone to turn on. I've tried every protocol, held all the buttons for all these different ways. And I'm just like praying that I can get a new phone and they can transfer everything at the genius bar. And I get there and of course, the woman turns my phone on, it turns right on.

• 1:47:36Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:47:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:37Speaker 01

  Oh, my.

• 1:47:37Dax Shepard?

  I told her, I compared to when you've been sick for like two weeks, you finally decide to go to the doctor and in the exam room, you feel wonderful. It's over right now that I'm at the doctor.

• 1:47:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:47:47Dax Shepard?

  So that was happening. Now cut back to in here, realizing none of the cameras are here. I can't call Rob because my phone is broken. And it's transferring for nine hours. So then I have Carly call Rob. I say to Rob, let's act it out, Rob. Hey, what's going on?

• 1:48:01Speaker 04

  What's going on?

• 1:48:02Dax Shepard?

  Hey, did you take all the cameras out of the studio?

• 1:48:05Speaker 04

  Nope.

• 1:48:06Dax Shepard?

  You don't have the cameras?

• 1:48:07Speaker 04

  No, definitely not.

• 1:48:09Dax Shepard?

  Okay, well, we were robbed.

• 1:48:11Speaker 04

  Oh, what else did they take?

• 1:48:13Dax Shepard?

  I don't really know. I just discovered all. So whatever. Yeah. Oh, my God. Rob. And then I asked Rob, will you come take stock? I don't know what all gear is in Rob's zone. Yeah. So Rob comes over. Now, now this is what sucks. Now I'm really kind of distracted for the rest of my play date with Seth's daughter, which is a bummer because all of them, right? I want to, I want to be right in the thing of it. You're gonna be present. But I'm like, fuck, when did it? When did this happen? Yes. Also, some weird thing happened where when I came home on Thursday night from the dinner with Ken Goldberg, I noticed that my trailer door was open, which I didn't understand. That was like, that was just, you know, you notice little things. Yep. Shut that. And then I was like, okay, well, I, well, it happened between Thursday when we recorded and now.

• 1:48:57Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so I'm gonna presume, I'm gonna start with when it starts getting dark last night. So half hour after we went to go to dinner, two dudes. You have cameras, basically. I have cameras everywhere. You're able to now see. Yes. Now that's its own, that takes a long time. What camera am I looking at? I don't know where they came at on, on the property. Yeah. So I do waste a good hour looking at footage from, I don't see anything. But then I see that they have jumped over the pedestrian gate. They're in full masks and then they went up into my gym. I'm watching this now all on all the cameras. Right. They go into Kristen's office, they come out, they go up into the attic, they go down into the studio. They take all the cameras, they head out.

• 1:49:40Dax Shepard?

  It's 10 minutes. That's it. Start to finish. And the very frustrating thing is on camera, I see them. They exit the house with all this gear and they have two Lime scooters parked against the wall. That's so weird to me. Full masks. Okay, not like, um, fucking COVID masks. I'm talking full masks. Yeah. One of our neighbors pulls in. Headlights bright on these two guys with full mask, holding a bunch of bulls, stolen cameras, loading it on a bird scooter and they just cruise by.

• 1:50:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:16Dax Shepard?

  And they don't call anybody. Um, so I was a little bit like, oh my God.

• 1:50:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:21Dax Shepard?

  If I roll in, I see, I'm out of the car, it's on.

• 1:50:24Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:50:25Dax Shepard?

  Oh, anyways, that don't, I don't recommend that to whoever that was.

• 1:50:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:50:27Dax Shepard?

  But, but.

• 1:50:29Speaker 01

  I would have called the police. I wouldn't have got out of the car.

• 1:50:32Dax Shepard?

  I would have called the police and I would have followed them on the fucking scooters in a car. They can't outrun you. I would have stayed with them while I was on the phone with 911. They had cameras, I think is what they had. Lots of expensive cameras.

• 1:50:42Speaker 01

  You have to be careful in these situations.

• 1:50:45Dax Shepard?

  The thing that I find rough about that, again, I was like, you can, you can afford to replace the cameras. It sucks. They're expensive.

• 1:50:55Speaker 01

  Really sucks.

• 1:50:56Dax Shepard?

  It really sucks. It is quite an expensive ordeal. You can't report it to your insurance or my insurance will go up over time. That doesn't justify, you know? So that's what's on racket.

• 1:51:05Speaker 01

  I hate, I don't even understand insurance, really.

• 1:51:08Dax Shepard?

  I don't think anyone does. Um, but the obsession of like, are they coming back?

• 1:51:13Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:51:14Dax Shepard?

  Why wouldn't they come back? And now.

• 1:51:16Speaker 01

  Please don't come back, guys.

• 1:51:18Dax Shepard?

  I'm now like, well, I'm gonna have to be watching this like crazy. I'm gonna have to get loud alarms over there. I'm gonna have to do a lot of stuff now. And I think that's the thing I resent is it's just the anxiety of are they coming back?

• 1:51:31Speaker 01

  Rob, when you got here, did you check? Because I mean, I'm shocked.

• 1:51:38Dax Shepard?

  They don't want our memorabilia?

• 1:51:40Speaker 01

  They didn't take liberty.

• 1:51:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, well, they.

• 1:51:43Speaker 01

  They made a huge mistake.

• 1:51:45Dax Shepard?

  They slept on a gem. So here's the blessing though. I wouldn't have gone in to the studio all weekend. Why would I come in here? This is our place of work and it was the weekend. And we had a really great, wonderful guest on Monday and we would have arrived with no cameras.

• 1:52:02Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:52:03Dax Shepard?

  So again, I couldn't help but be grateful that I at least discovered it on Friday. Rob then had the weekend of his life trying to track down.

• 1:52:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. He went on a real adventure. Yes. Oh, man.

• 1:52:16Dax Shepard?

  I hate knowing they were in my gym and stuff. I hate it.

• 1:52:19Speaker 01

  I know. It feels so violating.

• 1:52:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:52:22Speaker 01

  Anyway.

• 1:52:23Dax Shepard?

  Anywho.

• 1:52:23Speaker 01

  Really bad.

• 1:52:24Dax Shepard?

  That's a bummer.

• 1:52:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:25Dax Shepard?

  Now, let's talk about victories.

• 1:52:27Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:52:28Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I flew to Vegas on Saturday.

• 1:52:30Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 1:52:31Dax Shepard?

  That's worth reporting. Our sweet best boy, Jimmy Kimmel, was being honored by this great charity that works with Cleveland Clinic that does work on Alzheimer's and Parkinson's neurological disorders. And it provides a ton of support for the caregivers of all these people who have these conditions. 11 million people are caregiving.

• 1:52:53Dax Shepard?

  So went to Vegas just for the day.

• 1:52:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:52:57Dax Shepard?

  And did, I went gambling with Kristen. And I'm the one that'd be shocked if we get, we get barred from the MGM. I don't know that they'll let us back at the tables.

• 1:53:08Speaker 01

  Why?

• 1:53:09Dax Shepard?

  Because we put it to them so hard. We won $225.

• 1:53:15Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:53:17Dax Shepard?

  So.

• 1:53:17Speaker 01

  Cool.

• 1:53:19Dax Shepard?

  Probably will get barred.

• 1:53:21Speaker 01

  Do people get barred for doing so well? They can't, right?

• 1:53:25Dax Shepard?

  They do at certain games. Yeah. Yes. In fact, it's in Nate Silver's book. So the people are really good at counting cards and, which is not illegal, but the casino has the option of denying you to play there for any reason they want.

• 1:53:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:53:42Dax Shepard?

  So they will notice someone's counting cards in a single deck or double deck blackjack, and then they will not allow them to gamble anymore.

• 1:53:50Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 1:53:50Dax Shepard?

  So a lot of these people, yeah, again, ultimately, I think there was the Harvard, there was some Harvard thing where they, over the course of 10 years, they won millions of dollars.

• 1:53:59Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:54:00Dax Shepard?

  With a system, again, not illegal. They weren't, they weren't like tapping any devices or anything. It was just all math. But they all, ultimately, all of them were barred from all these casinos.

• 1:54:10Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeesh.

• 1:54:12Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Okay, Sunday.

• 1:54:14Speaker 01

  Sunday.

• 1:54:15Dax Shepard?

  Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

• 1:54:16Speaker 01

  Sunday was the SAG Awards. Um, it went really, really well. Kristen killed it.

• 1:54:23Dax Shepard?

  Perfect.

• 1:54:23Speaker 01

  It went perfect. She did such a good job. Everyone hit all their beats.

• 1:54:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:30Speaker 01

  And it was great.

• 1:54:31Dax Shepard?

  It was a very well-run tight show.

• 1:54:34Speaker 01

  It was.

• 1:54:34Dax Shepard?

  I was impressed. Yeah, that motherfucker is straight live.

• 1:54:38Speaker 01

  I know. That was scary.

• 1:54:40Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that part.

• 1:54:41Dax Shepard?

  There's only a couple of hiccups and had nothing to do with anyone's writing.

• 1:54:45Speaker 01

  Yes, there was a couple of technical things.

• 1:54:48Dax Shepard?

  Oh, there were technical things?

• 1:54:49Speaker 01

  Well, like, there was like a sound. There was like a little bit of on Adam's bit, the sound was out at the very beginning.

• 1:54:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh.

• 1:54:56Speaker 01

  And I was annoyed by that, of course.

• 1:54:58Dax Shepard?

  That's rough.

• 1:54:59Speaker 01

  But it happened.

• 1:55:00Dax Shepard?

  That's hap- for a live show, that's not too bad.

• 1:55:02Speaker 01

  Not too bad. No, it went really smooth. I was very happy with it and I think Kristen was too, so.

• 1:55:09Dax Shepard?

  Yes, and I was backstage with the childrens.

• 1:55:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, you came.

• 1:55:12Dax Shepard?

  You had a great dress.

• 1:55:13Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you. I did.

• 1:55:15Dax Shepard?

  I noticed on your post, you had like a thousand comments. People were exploding.

• 1:55:21Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:55:22Dax Shepard?

  I would argue some sprang.

• 1:55:23Speaker 01

  Well, we don't know about that.

• 1:55:25Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm pretty, when you get a thousand comments, that's.

• 1:55:28Speaker 01

  We don't know, but it was, um, yeah. Remember when I was in my gala era and I was buying all those dresses and.

• 1:55:36Dax Shepard?

  And you were in search of a gala?

• 1:55:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I needed a gala to go to, to wear all these dresses. Um, I didn't go to any real galas, so I had some dresses. I was proud of myself because, um, I do have a contact at Valentino and I'd reached out and said, hey, you know, I'm writing for Kristen for the SAG Awards, so I'll be there and I'm gonna do the carpet. Can I borrow something? And she was like, yes. So she had sent me some stuff. Well, no. So she had sent me some stuff and I, and it was all great, but I, I, I had, I did contrary action.

• 1:56:13Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 1:56:14Speaker 01

  And I decided to wear something in my closet that I have not worn.

• 1:56:18Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:56:19Speaker 01

  Which was this dress from the gala era.

• 1:56:22Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 1:56:22Speaker 01

  I was like, this dress has been sitting here for a long time. It needs to be worn.

• 1:56:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, she needs to go out on town a little bit.

• 1:56:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so I wore it and I was very happy with it. And, um, Jenny did my hair and Simone did my makeup and.

• 1:56:37Dax Shepard?

  What a team. I want to shout out everyone that works in this, this whole. Organism that is something like this. Marcel.

• 1:56:46Speaker 01

  Publicist.

• 1:56:47Dax Shepard?

  Who I love, who's been around for 20 years, sweetest boy alive. Jenny doing hair.

• 1:56:53Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:56:54Dax Shepard?

  Best vibe possible.

• 1:56:56Speaker 01

  And best.

• 1:56:57Dax Shepard?

  And best in the biz.

• 1:56:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:59Dax Shepard?

  Simone, makeup, incredible, known her forever.

• 1:57:05Dax Shepard?

  Who am I leaving? Anna's there, crushing, you're there crushing.

• 1:57:09Speaker 01

  Nicole.

• 1:57:09Dax Shepard?

  Nicole is styling the fuck out of it.

• 1:57:12Speaker 01

  It's incredible.

• 1:57:13Dax Shepard?

  Everyone just works so calm, like it's such a well, sometimes I like, I'll be doing a talk show as a guest and I'm walking to my green room and I look in the other people's green and sometimes I look in, it's just fucking madness, right? It's like people panicking.

• 1:57:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:57:29Dax Shepard?

  That, that energy is rough for me. That's not the vibe. So just well done to the whole team.

• 1:57:34Speaker 01

  The whole team. It was really fun because I did this for Kristen in 2018. So it was very deja vu. Like we're in the same room, the same auditorium, all of that stuff, which was really fun. Same people. We were looking at old pictures. There's like all these Polaroids of Simone and Jenny and Nicole and me and Kristen and Marcel and it's, it's just, it was really funny and weird, full circle. Cause you know, when we did it last time, we had, maybe we were about to start the show, this show, this podcast.

• 1:58:10Dax Shepard?

  We had started it, but yeah.

• 1:58:12Speaker 01

  Had we?

• 1:58:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, because.

• 1:58:16Speaker 01

  If it was this time.

• 1:58:17Dax Shepard?

  This was last weekend and we, we had our anniversary, two weeks before that, or a week before that.

• 1:58:25Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know the.

• 1:58:26Dax Shepard?

  And we recorded before we launched.

• 1:58:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm saying.

• 1:58:29Dax Shepard?

  But brand new.

• 1:58:30Speaker 01

  Yeah. It was in January 21st, 2018. Yeah.

• 1:58:34Dax Shepard?

  Okay. Then you're dead right.

• 1:58:35Speaker 01

  Anyway, um. We hadn't started this, or we had maybe started some recording, but we weren't a podcast yet, really.

• 1:58:43Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:58:44Speaker 01

  And so sometimes you get those rare moments where you're in the exact same place.

• 1:58:49Dax Shepard?

  But your life has changed.

• 1:58:50Speaker 01

  But your life is so different.

• 1:58:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:51Speaker 01

  And you can really reflect on that because of the circumstances. And it was, it was nice to see the like, my growth. But yeah, so it was, it was special to have that. And it did remind me that that was such a fun job.

• 1:59:11Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 1:59:11Speaker 01

  Like being around all those people and doing that.

• 1:59:14Dax Shepard?

  The energy.

• 1:59:14Speaker 01

  And the energy and yeah, it was, it was nice to sort of drop back into that. And also see Anna in this position that I was in and her just like killing it.

• 1:59:24Dax Shepard?

  Crushing it.

• 1:59:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was really, it was really nice.

• 1:59:27Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, sweet night.

• 1:59:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:29Dax Shepard?

  I was happy for all the ladies.

• 1:59:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, she, Kristen did such a good job.

• 1:59:34Dax Shepard?

  Oh God, she can also, she can fucking, she is so calm and confident. It's boggling.

• 1:59:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:41Dax Shepard?

  She's so chill and fucking not in a hurry.

• 1:59:45Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 1:59:46Dax Shepard?

  She's like a great comedian that's not in a hurry.

• 1:59:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:49Dax Shepard?

  Stand up.

• 1:59:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:59:50Dax Shepard?

  It's impressive.

• 1:59:51Speaker 01

  Very, very impressive.

• 1:59:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, here's my crazy moment. So we're leaving.

• 1:59:55Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:59:56Dax Shepard?

  And I'm carrying tons of bags and stuff and I've got the kids in tow and we're going to the car. And I literally bump into meet cute. My biggest crush, Timothy Chalamet.

• 2:00:09Speaker 01

  Yes, Timothy was, um, he ducked into our area for a minute to take a phone call. And I walked in and he was just standing right there, which was quite fun.

• 2:00:20Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, he was hanging in the hallway with his mom when I bumped into him.

• 2:00:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:00:24Dax Shepard?

  And I go, hey, first of all, he's much taller than I was expecting.

• 2:00:28Speaker 01

  He is, yeah.

• 2:00:29Dax Shepard?

  Tall boy.

• 2:00:30Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 2:00:30Dax Shepard?

  Oh, he's so dreamy. And I go, oh my God, I'm so horny for you. And he goes, oh, thank you. And I just, I can't believe how into your career I am. I'm following it like I'm a teenager. And he's like, oh, my God, thanks, dude. I tap danced away from that interaction. I was smitten.

• 2:00:50Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 2:00:51Dax Shepard?

  I loved his speech. We talked on the way home about it. Kristen was like, it's weird to hear someone admit they want to be great. And they want to be like Brando and all these people. And I go, but why? If you're a snowboarder, you would say, I want to be the next Shaun White, or I want to be Jordan. That's, that's what you should. If you're entering into an endeavor.

• 2:01:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:01:13Dax Shepard?

  As your main focus of your life, yeah, you should damn well be trying to get to the greatest it's ever been done.

• 2:01:19Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 2:01:20Dax Shepard?

  I loved it. I thought, yeah, why is everyone acting like they don't want to be that? That's awesome.

• 2:01:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. I agree. Yeah.

• 2:01:28Dax Shepard?

  It just goes to show when you love somebody, whatever they say, you kind of like it.

• 2:01:31Speaker 01

  No, I agree. It's honest to say, I want, I mean, I think what people might be confused, I don't know. Maybe they think he's talking about fame, but he isn't.

• 2:01:40Dax Shepard?

  No, he would have said Burt Reynolds or.

• 2:01:44Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 2:01:45Dax Shepard?

  Ben Affleck.

• 2:01:46Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 2:01:46Dax Shepard?

  You know, ultra famous.

• 2:01:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. So that was exciting.

• 2:01:52Dax Shepard?

  Great night, Fawn.

• 2:01:53Speaker 01

  Great night. Great night.

• 2:01:55Dax Shepard?

  Great, great night.

• 2:01:58Dax Shepard?

  Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.

• 2:02:11Speaker 01

  Okay, this is for Mindy.

• 2:02:13Dax Shepard?

  Mindy.

• 2:02:14Speaker 01

  So exciting.

• 2:02:16Dax Shepard?

  Did you enjoy listening back while you were editing?

• 2:02:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02:18Dax Shepard?

  Did it help reconfirm it happened?

• 2:02:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, we have been, we have been waiting for so long. Some people on my post, I posted a picture. That was teasing an episode and it was this one. Some people were right.

• 2:02:33Dax Shepard?

  They they guessed Mindy.

• 2:02:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:36Speaker 01

  So that was exciting. Okay. Really quick. Jordan food poisoned.

• 2:02:42Dax Shepard?

  Hmm.

• 2:02:42Speaker 01

  Was he food poisoned?

• 2:02:43Dax Shepard?

  Was he?

• 2:02:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:02:45Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:45Speaker 01

  Well, it was Pizza Hut. He ordered pizza. He ordered pizza before game five of the 1997 NBA Finals, also known as the flu game.

• 2:02:57Dax Shepard?

  Right. I just want to add, I've had pizza a couple million times and I've never had food poisoning. I don't know how you would get, how a bacteria would still be alive after it goes through the oven.

• 2:03:08Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:03:09Dax Shepard?

  This lends itself to the conspiracy theory, I think.

• 2:03:11Speaker 01

  It does.

• 2:03:12Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so hit us.

• 2:03:13Speaker 01

  But also, he, maybe he got meat on it and the meat was

• 2:03:17Dax Shepard?

  Still.

• 2:03:18Speaker 01

  was mad cow.

• 2:03:19Dax Shepard?

  No, you blast even mad cow, you blast that in the furnace, it's dead.

• 2:03:23Speaker 01

  Mad cow.

• 2:03:24Dax Shepard?

  Mad cow.

• 2:03:25Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 2:03:26Dax Shepard?

  Where my mad cow's at?

• 2:03:27Speaker 01

  Um, okay, his trainer, Tim Grover, and friend George Colar were with them when the pizza arrived. Grover said he had a bad feeling about the pizza. Jordan woke up at 2:30 throwing up and couldn't hold anything down.

• 2:03:41Dax Shepard?

  Wait, didn't you say five guys delivered the pizza?

• 2:03:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, last time it said that.

• 2:03:47Dax Shepard?

  So that to me is what's very problematic. Five guys.

• 2:03:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:52Dax Shepard?

  Delivered the pizza. If five guys show up to deliver a pizza for me, I'm not opening the door. They're gonna rush in.

• 2:03:59Speaker 01

  I know, but then.

• 2:04:00Dax Shepard?

  Not rushing. I'm not saying Russians are all home invaders. I'm saying rush in.

• 2:04:04Speaker 01

  Rush space in. But some rumors just say he was hung over.

• 2:04:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's a fun rumor.

• 2:04:12Speaker 01

  The poison pizza is very, some people don't believe it.

• 2:04:16Dax Shepard?

  This reminds me of, you were too young to really watch People's Court a lot, right? Did you ever watch People's Court?

• 2:04:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:04:22Dax Shepard?

  It was the precursor to Judge Judy.

• 2:04:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:24Dax Shepard?

  And there, um, let's see, Doug Llewellyn was a commentator. He would name the cases. And this was like a

• 2:04:33Dax Shepard?

  Someone who ordered a pizza suing the pizza delivery guy.

• 2:04:36Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 2:04:37Dax Shepard?

  And Doug Llewellyn called it the case of the painful pepperoni pizza. And it was so memorable.

• 2:04:45Speaker 01

  Okay, now this I'm gonna play. Um, this is Jay Moore's Christopher Walken.

• 2:04:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I just played it last night.

• 2:04:51Speaker 05

  Can you please tell the Christopher Walken story? First time I met Christopher Walken, I go to say hi to him. As I'm walking up to him, the first thing he says to me is, you know, I can see you coming.

• 2:05:02Speaker 05

  I'm like, because I'm introducing myself, I'm not a Vietnamese sniper working a tree line. Like, it's how, no offense, it's how introductions work.

• 2:05:13Speaker 05

  And before I say anything, he goes, you know, I can see you coming. I had my Rottweiler with me. He goes, I can see your dog too. And I go, her name is Shirley. And he says, who cares? And I thought he cared because he brought it up.

• 2:05:29Speaker 05

  And he goes, I gotta know what happened to your dog Shirley Rottweiler. What happened to your dog's tail? It's gone. Where did it go? It's okay, you can tell me. And I'm just standing there like in this driveway going.

• 2:05:47Speaker 05

  Where the fuck is my dog's tail?

• 2:05:51Speaker 05

  And then he gets like real close to me and he goes, it would be great to have a tail. And I'm cool, right? So I look back at him, I go, why? Why is that? And he goes, come on, if you had a tail, everyone would know if you were angry or upset, they'd see you. They'd see you coming up the block. They'd say, get back, look at his tail, he's crazy.

• 2:06:15Speaker 05

  And I go, well, you probably mean happy. Like, people know if you're happy. If you have a tail, you'd wag it because you're happy. And he goes, maybe you and your tail.

• 2:06:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, he just cut the ring off on me, right? And then he looked at me like it's my turn to talk.

• 2:06:31Speaker 05

  I looked down at the dog and dog's like, nah, not me. I said, would you rather be able to fly or have a tail? This is what I got out. And he goes, a tail, of course. I'd rather have a tail than be able to fly. He goes, you could always get on an airplane with your tail.

• 2:06:50Speaker 01

  Funny, so funny. So he's married to.

• 2:06:53Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 2:06:54Speaker 01

  That's so crazy.

• 2:06:55Dax Shepard?

  This was exciting. Genie Bus.

• 2:06:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:06:59Dax Shepard?

  Owner of the Lakers.

• 2:07:00Speaker 01

  Still never been to a game and I would really like to go.

• 2:07:05Dax Shepard?

  You've never been to a game?

• 2:07:06Speaker 01

  Uh-uh.

• 2:07:07Dax Shepard?

  You gotta figure that out. It's a, it's a party. In fact, I just saw Instagram yesterday of Will Ferrell and Chad Smith, drummer for the Chili Peppers. You know, they look identical.

• 2:07:18Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:07:19Dax Shepard?

  Type in Chad Smith, you're gonna, your horns are gonna fall off your head.

• 2:07:25Dax Shepard?

  And they're nodding back and forth to each other and doing a whole thing.

• 2:07:30Speaker 01

  Oh, wow, that is crazy.

• 2:07:31Dax Shepard?

  He's also like six, four. He's tall like Will as well. Yeah, so they were like both at the game and they were making a real.

• 2:07:39Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, that is so funny.

• 2:07:41Dax Shepard?

  It's fucking freaky. If Chad's nose was just a little narrower, there's no way to tell them apart.

• 2:07:48Speaker 01

  Wow, they really look like twins. That's crazy.

• 2:07:51Dax Shepard?

  Twinsies, twinning.

• 2:07:53Speaker 01

  We still need a twin expert. Okay, Mindy made a, a remark about Olivia Munn investing in Uber in the first round. It was kind of a joke, but she did.

• 2:08:05Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my God, she's rich.

• 2:08:06Speaker 01

  She did. She invested in Uber at a 290 million.

• 2:08:11Dax Shepard?

  Valuation.

• 2:08:11Speaker 01

  Private company, when it was a sole private company. And now Uber is worth, says 157.82 billion market cap.

• 2:08:22Dax Shepard?

  Whoa.

• 2:08:23Speaker 01

  Should I look up what Bitcoin is today?

• 2:08:26Dax Shepard?

  I know.

• 2:08:27Speaker 01

  Why?

• 2:08:27Dax Shepard?

  Cause we're tanking it, right? And we're gonna, someone's gonna. But the people are gonna connect that since we started reporting, it's been going down. And then they're gonna. Attack us under the veil of night. What is that? Go ahead, tell me.

• 2:08:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think the joke's worth it. Um, it's eighty eight thousand, hundred and ninety five point six two one. It has been going steadily down. We've been reporting on this.

• 2:08:49Dax Shepard?

  Yes, you have to admit that. I think the first one was like a hundred two thousand. So.

• 2:08:52Speaker 01

  Look, as you said, we're just not that powerful, though. We're all we're doing is reporting. We're not causing.

• 2:08:59Dax Shepard?

  Except for me, causing the Lions loss. That's still up in the air.

• 2:09:03Speaker 01

  And my ring.

• 2:09:04Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and your ring. Yeah.

• 2:09:06Speaker 01

  Lost us the election. My eggs are not burned by the fires.

• 2:09:13Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:13Speaker 01

  But there were eggs from the same company or hospital that were in a different location that did have to all get transferred over.

• 2:09:22Dax Shepard?

  It's good to know they transferred them.

• 2:09:23Speaker 01

  I know. I agree. But they were saved.

• 2:09:26Dax Shepard?

  They didn't get burnt up.

• 2:09:27Speaker 01

  I know. Oh, my God. I mean.

• 2:09:31Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, the amount of months that goes into harvesting those eggs.

• 2:09:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:09:35Dax Shepard?

  I use that word harvesting?

• 2:09:36Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 2:09:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:09:38Speaker 01

  I'm fine with it.

• 2:09:38Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 2:09:39Speaker 01

  And the shots and the hormones for a year. The retrieval, the cost.

• 2:09:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:48Speaker 01

  And not only the cost, but like the, I'm, I don't know if I'll have as much now, if I had to do it again.

• 2:09:55Dax Shepard?

  The irreplaceability.

• 2:09:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:09:57Dax Shepard?

  Of it.

• 2:09:58Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 2:09:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that's scary.

• 2:10:00Speaker 01

  Scary. Um, and yeah, I've been thinking more about it since Mindy and I, since Mindy chatted about her experience a little bit.

• 2:10:10Dax Shepard?

  She makes it look good?

• 2:10:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, she makes it look possible. She has three children.

• 2:10:14Dax Shepard?

  Would you ever get an answer from your contractor? When I was with you, you emailed them.

• 2:10:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:10:19Dax Shepard?

  Let's look at, let's find out.

• 2:10:21Speaker 01

  Okay, because you are constantly telling me.

• 2:10:24Dax Shepard?

  That your house is bigger than.

• 2:10:25Speaker 01

  That my new house is bigger than yours, which is outrageous. Now I am now scared. So what is yours?

• 2:10:34Dax Shepard?

  Forty three hundred square feet.

• 2:10:35Speaker 01

  Is there any X? Is it, is it forty three something? Ooh, this might be like our IQs.

• 2:10:43Dax Shepard?

  No, I actually think it's like forty two ninety something.

• 2:10:47Speaker 04

  That includes all the other buildings?

• 2:10:48Dax Shepard?

  Shut up, Rob.

• 2:10:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, that's.

• 2:10:50Dax Shepard?

  That's a side. We can have that and you'll win that one.

• 2:10:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:10:53Dax Shepard?

  But right now, the house we live in.

• 2:10:55Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:10:55Dax Shepard?

  Not this studio. I'm not counting the studio. You should count it too then.

• 2:10:58Speaker 01

  More than just the studio. No, I can't because I can't come here and get water like you did for.

• 2:11:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I appreciate you would have figured out the cameras were stolen a little earlier.

• 2:11:06Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 2:11:07Dax Shepard?

  Anyways, what's your house? So we're getting distracted.

• 2:11:09Speaker 01

  The only thing on my property.

• 2:11:11Dax Shepard?

  Uh huh.

• 2:11:12Speaker 01

  Is forty three, uh, forty three.

• 2:11:17Dax Shepard?

  Eighty.

• 2:11:18Speaker 01

  Forty five.

• 2:11:19Dax Shepard?

  Forty.

• 2:11:19Speaker 01

  Four thousand, three hundred and forty five square feet.

• 2:11:21Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and that's what I saw in your plans.

• 2:11:23Speaker 01

  So we got an extra forty five.

• 2:11:25Dax Shepard?

  Yep, you have a bigger house than we do.

• 2:11:28Speaker 01

  Okay, but you understand, like, that's crazy what you're saying, right? We really can't agree on this, that the fact that you have a main house with bedrooms.

• 2:11:42Dax Shepard?

  Yep.

• 2:11:43Speaker 01

  A guest house.

• 2:11:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:47Speaker 01

  A garage with an office and a gym.

• 2:11:50Dax Shepard?

  Above it.

• 2:11:50Speaker 01

  Separate.

• 2:11:51Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, so that's, these are all great.

• 2:11:53Speaker 01

  And then the attic and the garage.

• 2:11:55Dax Shepard?

  Great points, but I have one counter that's very, again, you're gonna have to acknowledge how powerful this is. When I go to sell this house, it is illegal for me to say that the house is more than forty three hundred square feet. You cannot include any outhousing.

• 2:12:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:12:10Dax Shepard?

  That's not included. So when I put it up on the market, people will think they're bidding on a forty three hundred square foot.

• 2:12:17Speaker 01

  Okay, only if they're a blind person.

• 2:12:20Dax Shepard?

  I'm just saying the city only acknowledges forty three hundred and the real estate's only acknowledged forty three hundred.

• 2:12:25Speaker 01

  Rob.

• 2:12:27Speaker 04

  I get both your points.

• 2:12:28Speaker 01

  Would you rather, would you rather buy this property or mine?

• 2:12:35Dax Shepard?

  I also have an acre. I'll admit my property's bigger.

• 2:12:37Speaker 01

  Okay, let's imagine, take out the yard. Let's talk about.

• 2:12:40Dax Shepard?

  Now these buildings are gonna be on top of each other.

• 2:12:43Speaker 04

  Well, the city is not gonna acknowledge it, but the buyer is going to acknowledge it.

• 2:12:46Speaker 01

  Exactly, and can you?

• 2:12:49Dax Shepard?

  They won't even come to look at it. Like, if I'm trying to sell it for a price that would be commensurate with how much of these outbuildings I have, they won't even come look at it. They'll be like, I'm not driving across town to look at a forty three hundred square foot house for that much.

• 2:13:01Speaker 01

  All you have to do is look at the pictures and then you see eighty different places to sleep, live, dream.

• 2:13:11Speaker 01

  Cry. Um, there is no question. There is zero question that this estate you have here is more valuable than mine.

• 2:13:22Dax Shepard?

  Both things are true. I have more square footage all told.

• 2:13:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:13:28Dax Shepard?

  And what's also true is that your house is bigger than my house.

• 2:13:31Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 2:13:32Dax Shepard?

  That's true. My garage isn't my house.

• 2:13:35Speaker 01

  But your garage.

• 2:13:36Dax Shepard?

  My house is the building I live in and eat in and sleep in.

• 2:13:39Speaker 01

  You spend equal amounts of time throughout this whole property.

• 2:13:44Dax Shepard?

  You spend the same amount of time in this building as I do.

• 2:13:48Speaker 01

  But I don't own it. I don't have any, when someone comes to buy it, I don't, I can't say like, look, you have.

• 2:13:54Dax Shepard?

  You want to work across the street, you can be in that building as much as the owner.

• 2:13:58Speaker 01

  You're crazy.

• 2:14:01Dax Shepard?

  I know you're bummed that your house is bigger, but it just is. We just found out.

• 2:14:04Speaker 01

  I am not bummed. I am bummed by you trying to manipulate everyone into thinking I'm.

• 2:14:09Dax Shepard?

  Have a bigger house?

• 2:14:10Speaker 01

  Have a bigger house.

• 2:14:11Dax Shepard?

  Cause I want you to have a bigger house than me.

• 2:14:13Speaker 01

  But you, but, but, oh God, it's, it's dark. It's deep. It's a little dark.

• 2:14:19Dax Shepard?

  It is not.

• 2:14:20Speaker 01

  I, I think it is. And I, I haven't really fully pinpointed why, but.

• 2:14:28Dax Shepard?

  You feel darkness?

• 2:14:30Speaker 01

  I feel like.

• 2:14:32Dax Shepard?

  I'm locked into the story. The story is fantastic. I love the story. Such a great American story.

• 2:14:42Dax Shepard?

  Think what a good story. Take us out of it.

• 2:14:46Dax Shepard?

  There's a family in Louisiana.

• 2:14:48Speaker 01

  Congrats.

• 2:14:49Dax Shepard?

  A woman comes in to clean their house.

• 2:14:52Speaker 01

  Sounds like a riddle, the beginning of a riddle or a joke.

• 2:14:55Dax Shepard?

  A woman comes in to clean their house. Okay.

• 2:15:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:15:00Dax Shepard?

  And then within a few short years, that same woman builds a house across the street that's bigger.

• 2:15:08Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:15:09Dax Shepard?

  I love that story. What is wrong with that story?

• 2:15:12Speaker 01

  You love that story. That story is omitting some important.

• 2:15:17Speaker 01

  Parts.

• 2:15:18Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, what?

• 2:15:19Speaker 01

  That the, the lady who comes to clean the house, first of all, you downgraded her to cleaning the house.

• 2:15:25Dax Shepard?

  Well, I can't say babysitter because I'm trying to, I'm trying to get you out of your, you're locked into your story and I'm trying to make a story very similar.

• 2:15:34Speaker 01

  Okay, then you'd have to say a college educated.

• 2:15:39Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, great.

• 2:15:39Speaker 01

  College educated person who, who moved here to chase a dream.

• 2:15:44Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:15:44Speaker 01

  Uh, had an odd job at the house.

• 2:15:47Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:15:48Speaker 01

  But could have.

• 2:15:50Dax Shepard?

  A few years later built a, a house across the street that was bigger.

• 2:15:54Speaker 01

  But that, look.

• 2:15:55Dax Shepard?

  That's great.

• 2:15:56Speaker 01

  I know you love it.

• 2:15:57Dax Shepard?

  What's wrong? How can you not love that story?

• 2:16:00Speaker 01

  No, there's not, it's not real. It's, I am privileged. I am highly capable and, um.

• 2:16:09Dax Shepard?

  At no point in this story have I said, the maid in Louisiana, Louisiana was gifted a house across the street.

• 2:16:16Speaker 01

  No, no, I know that, but the, the context around you here, the maid in Louisiana. You are not imagining someone who could probably at any moment go get employed or go get a higher degree and then get employed quickly and immediately.

• 2:16:32Dax Shepard?

  Well, you're making of all those assumptions about the woman cleaning the house. You are, that's on you.

• 2:16:38Speaker 01

  No, it's part of why you like the story. The story is not as good in theory if it's just someone who's like.

• 2:16:46Dax Shepard?

  Totally is.

• 2:16:47Speaker 01

  Can totally become a lawyer tomorrow, then goes and buys the house across the street.

• 2:16:51Dax Shepard?

  Disagree.

• 2:16:53Speaker 01

  You like, it's still fine for you.

• 2:16:54Dax Shepard?

  Yes, I love that. That, that doesn't diminish the story at all.

• 2:16:59Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:16:59Dax Shepard?

  It's a story of someone starting on the bottom rung of a ladder and being at the very top of the ladder five years later. It's like a great story. It's, it's like the most triumphant story. I don't know why you can't accept, that's more curious to me. Is the story that if you heard about you would love has happened to you and you feel removed from it.

• 2:17:21Speaker 01

  What happened to you too?

• 2:17:22Dax Shepard?

  Yes, different, but yes.

• 2:17:24Speaker 01

  But the exact same. You moved from another place. You started off at the bottom, working at CPK and you have this house. What's the difference? Why is my story more interesting?

• 2:17:37Dax Shepard?

  Because all of that came from the job you got. You didn't buy the house across the street because you went out and did a TV show for 12 years.

• 2:17:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:17:48Dax Shepard?

  I think that's your, I think you might have a hang up about that and I don't.

• 2:17:52Speaker 01

  Well, what do you mean?

• 2:17:54Dax Shepard?

  You directly rose through this household.

• 2:17:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:17:59Dax Shepard?

  And ended up going into business with one of the owners of the household.

• 2:18:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:18:03Dax Shepard?

  Which, which created all this.

• 2:18:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's great.

• 2:18:06Dax Shepard?

  That's a different story than mine. I have a great story, but it's a much different story.

• 2:18:11Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 2:18:12Dax Shepard?

  I cobbled together 25 different acting jobs before I bought the house. I, it's not a story of me, it's, this is a story of someone entering GM and becoming the CEO.

• 2:18:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I see what you mean. I see what you mean. Yeah, I, I guess maybe it feels different to me because it didn't, that wasn't the intention, I guess.

• 2:18:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, that, well, yeah.

• 2:18:38Speaker 01

  Like if you started at GM and become the CEO, you're, that's probably your intention is to like maneuver your way to the top, but we, and I guess we invented the top in some ways, so that.

• 2:18:53Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 2:18:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

• 2:18:58Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 2:18:59Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, I just think it's a great, I love the story and it's an even better story, I think, if your house is bigger.

• 2:19:06Speaker 01

  Well, I guess you're in luck.

• 2:19:10Speaker 01

  Oh, and that's a ding ding ding because she wanted people to write on their house how they made their money.

• 2:19:15Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that really, this would probably satisfy her greatly, this debate.

• 2:19:21Speaker 01

  Alrighty.

• 2:19:21Dax Shepard?

  Alright, love you.