TBT: Aubrey O'Day

Throwback Thursday Bunnie sits down with the beautiful Aubrey O'Day for one of her most revealing interviews yet. Aubrey opens up about the real story behind Making the Band and her time in Danity Kane, including her firing by Diddy and where things stand with her former bandmates today. She also dives into her relationships with Don Jr. and Pauly D, shedding light on the darker side of fame and how the pressures of the industry and her personal life impacted her mental health and self-worth. Aubrey: IG https://www.instagram.com/aubreyoday/reels/?hl=en | Website https://theaubreyoday.com/ Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.com http://www.dumbblondeunrated.com/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bunnie XO?

  Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show, we have Meet the DeForts, we have Popaganda, we have more shows that we're adding, and not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there.

• 0:41Bunnie XO?

  We even have live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every frickin' month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're gonna get. It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much, and that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go bye. Bunny XO. She's a Vegas girl. Bunny XO.

• 1:22Bunnie XO?

  Jelly Roll's like Bunny XO.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Bunny XO.

• 1:26Bunnie XO?

  Talk to me about Bunny XO. Bunny.

• 1:39Bunnie XO?

  Is this thing on? What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? I love that line. I think you should do it for me. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Yeah, baby. None other than the queen, Miss Aubrey O'Day in the house, baby. Oh, thanks from one queen to another queen. Wait, can we just stand up and see this outfit? Oh, my God. Please, like, we gotta appreciate this outfit. She walked in and I was like, what? Like, so cute. Look at her. She's so, yeah, baby. Ow, I love this.

• 2:11Bunnie XO?

  You look so good.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  You know, I'm always like playing it down on the podcast because you're just really not supposed to do the most on podcasts.

• 2:19Bunnie XO?

  I mean, but why?

• 2:20Speaker 01

  But I'm in Nashville, your new studio. Like, I can't not do it different this time.

• 2:26Bunnie XO?

  First guest, baby.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 2:28Bunnie XO?

  You popped my cherry.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:29Bunnie XO?

  I love that. First guest in the new studio.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  I'm trying to think if I've ever popped a cherry before. I don't think that might be my first.

• 2:36Bunnie XO?

  I think I got paid one time to pop a cherry.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:39Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Tell me about that.

• 2:40Bunnie XO?

  Back in a previous life. There was a, there was a guy who, um,

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Wait, can you pop a guy's cherry?

• 2:45Bunnie XO?

  I mean, he was a virgin.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  In his butt or like?

• 2:49Bunnie XO?

  I mean,

• 2:49Speaker 01

  Which cherry?

• 2:50Bunnie XO?

  I mean hypothetically, hypothetically speaking, um, he was a virgin and,

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, I've had texts of a virgin.

• 2:57Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. So you've popped cherries then?

• 2:59Speaker 01

  I've popped cherries. I didn't think of it as a popped cherry, but yeah.

• 3:03Bunnie XO?

  I got you in Nashville. Like, that is so fun.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  I know.

• 3:07Bunnie XO?

  It's pouring rain.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  Crazy. I, I was like, I was gonna tell you, let's go out, let's go to the club tonight. Let's go to a show. And now I'm like, I walked up, but you live in the most beaut-, or this studio is in the most beautiful area I've seen so far in Nashville.

• 3:20Bunnie XO?

  This is my favorite side of town out here. Like, if you ever move out here,

• 3:23Speaker 01

  I know.

• 3:24Bunnie XO?

  This is it.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  I was like casing houses as we were driving by. Like, I wonder what's up on the market over here.

• 3:30Bunnie XO?

  There's a lot that are, that are for sale in here.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  But this weather really like,

• 3:33Bunnie XO?

  Please move in because I don't know if you've heard about my neighbors, not to cut you off, but,

• 3:37Speaker 01

  I saw, I saw you say it on your podcast. I heard, I saw you read the message. That was crazy. I would've gone buck on them.

• 3:42Bunnie XO?

  Let's fucking make these motherfuckers shook though.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  I will be in my thong on your yard, picking up the fucking newspaper, doing the most.

• 3:49Bunnie XO?

  Dude, I love it. Please, please, please, please. Um, but let's talk about how you just had to walk up a driveway in these hills.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Okay, first of all, in a very conservative hotel and like there's men in suits downstairs and I didn't realize how much hooker it was giving, giving like,

• 4:05Bunnie XO?

  I love it.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I knew the shoes were, but the back is designer, the front is giving the club. But I walked through the, um, lobby and everybody was looking at me and then I noticed it was dark and raining and I was like, oh, I had my, my, uh, blinds closed because this morning I woke up and I saw like three people fucking. You, I have like a, just an eye shot to the hotel.

• 4:27Bunnie XO?

  She's living my dream.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. I, I don't know if they were dream scenarios, but.

• 4:32Bunnie XO?

  Aw, damn.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  But I saw a lot of naked bodies this morning and I was like, wow, I gotta be careful when I get ready because I just, I get ready naked. So I just be walking around with my ass and titties out and I just saw, I saw someone fucking on the balcony, another in bed.

• 4:45Bunnie XO?

  Where, where are we staying at?

• 4:47Speaker 01

  At my hotel. I have a direct eye shot to the hotel next to it.

• 4:50Bunnie XO?

  That is wild.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  I know, and you could.

• 4:52Bunnie XO?

  Book me a room there ladies. Book me a room there. I'll be in the corner whacking off the weirdo in the corner. Just getting it.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  I was like watching it like, is any of this worth like, just being a little late for, but no, none of it was.

• 5:05Bunnie XO?

  Damn it.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  It was stale.

• 5:07Bunnie XO?

  I get excited when people just hump any, it doesn't matter what they look like. I just am happy that people are loving on each other. I swear like, deep down inside, I'm like a free loving hippie.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 5:15Bunnie XO?

  And I'm just like, slap skins, baby.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 5:18Bunnie XO?

  I'm all for it.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:19Bunnie XO?

  So you're gonna go to my husband's show tonight?

• 5:21Speaker 01

  I'm, I will be so privileged and honored to see him live.

• 5:25Bunnie XO?

  Oh, he'll love you.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:27Bunnie XO?

  He'll love you.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  I would love to see him live.

• 5:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll have to see who other, who else is playing there too.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  I know. I hope Luke Bryan is performing. I'm so in love with him. I know he's got a wife, but goddamn, he's so fine.

• 5:36Bunnie XO?

  Can somebody give it a go? Are you into dads?

• 5:39Speaker 01

  Totally into dads.

• 5:40Bunnie XO?

  Okay, because I was gonna say Luke Bryan is like total dad.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  I know. I, when I went, I didn't know much about country. I was, I was, I'm like, you know, I grew up in R and B rap pop, on a rap label, rap boy, as a pop artist, pop and R and B artist.

• 5:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  So like, country came later for me in life. I didn't grow up on it. And my girlfriends all listened to country and they were like, you have to come to Coachella because I'm from the desert. I mean, not, sorry.

• 6:07Bunnie XO?

  Stagecoach.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Stagecoach. And I was like, I'm not going to Stagecoach. I just did Coachella and they were like, no, it's, the vibes are so different. And I went and I was like, oh my god, no one's on Molly pushing me, like drugged up, fucking in a corner, mosh pitting and all the lyrics aren't, stand your ass up, pop that booty bitch, this, that and the other, like, negative toward women. Like, the guys were up there singing about heartbreak and maybe at the end, they took off their shirt and they were beautiful and everybody put their beers in the air and it was a good life. And I was like, oh, this is a vibe.

• 6:39Bunnie XO?

  So Aubrey needs a country boy.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  I might, I might.

• 6:43Bunnie XO?

  Who can we hook her up with in the crew? Anybody? Anybody worth it? Not the crew, alright, fuck, we'll figure it.

• 6:50Bunnie XO?

  Chase Rice?

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Wait, does he still have his wife?

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Oh, shut up!

• 6:59Speaker 01

  He's the only one I remember, I mean, I remember, you know, I liked a lot of them, but when he got onstage, I was like, okay, we're getting, I'm gonna call my manager and get a backstage pass right quick, we need to roll by his trailer. And then we rolled by the trailer, and then I saw the wife, and I think there were even kids, and I was like, oh, I gotta respect this situation, but god damn, he is so funny, he took off his shirt, he was playing the guitar.

• 7:19Bunnie XO?

  I love that. What about Brantley Gilbert? Brantley has a wife too, but he is beautiful.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  I have to see him, I don't know him.

• 7:26Bunnie XO?

  No, he's having a baby with Haley. They're all married, but, I mean, they're beautiful to look at.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  There's gotta be a come up one that I could grab, because I feel like me, I feel like I'm a country wife, I feel like me and you.

• 7:36Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  We could get a little group of us together and do our own Housewives, but Country Wives.

• 7:41Bunnie XO?

  I actually already have, I own the synopsis for that, it's called Outlaw Wives, and I've been wanting to do it for the longest time.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Okay, well, can I be like, you know how some of the Housewives don't really have a husband anymore, but they're on the fucking show?

• 7:53Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Can I be one of those bitches?

• 7:56Bunnie XO?

  Girl, I would cast you in a heartbeat, because you would be so much fucking fun, dude. I don't know about Luke Bryan, though, you know, like, I think-

• 8:03Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't know him as a person, I've never watched interviews, I don't know if he's a good guy or not.

• 8:07Bunnie XO?

  No, he is, he is, he's been so good to my husband, and he's such a sweetheart, but, I like, if you don't have tattoos, I can't look at you.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  I like tattoos too.

• 8:15Bunnie XO?

  If you don't have a felony and a tattoo somewhere, even a tramp stamp, I'll take it, you know, you fucking-

• 8:20Speaker 01

  You do, you're more of a rebel in that way than me. You play on a little bit more dangerous planks than I do. Most of my scandals were with, like, same type of high-profile situations, but more of the cleanup, cleanup boys.

• 8:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, and we're gonna dive into those for sure, because, you know, we-

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Frat boys, not the, like, dangerous boys. I think it's because I was not really pretty, like, I wasn't one of the pretty girls growing up, I wasn't popular.

• 8:47Bunnie XO?

  You were so beautiful, though.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  But as a child, I just wasn't in that role. Diddy, like, kinda groomed me throughout that process to be that person, but, prior to that, I never really, I did, definitely didn't feel that inside, but I didn't also, I don't feel externally I was that. I definitely wasn't popular, I didn't really have- You know, was not part of the group of girls that were like running around wild with all the boys and drinking and I was like at home. I think the craziest I was as I was listening to some of your podcasts, I was thinking of my childhood, like were there deviant sides of me that I could recognize because I was literally just such a worker.

• 9:25Bunnie XO?

  Me too.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  I like to excel. I like to be the best.

• 9:27Bunnie XO?

  Were you good in school?

• 9:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, always. Number one, first in class. I skipped a grade. I was a year behind and skipped a grade. I was always two years younger than everybody.

• 9:38Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  And just very into creating. I would go to like the music theater, like uh, house, like the creation studios where you do like musical theater productions and stuff and where I lived in Palm Springs.

• 9:50Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  I would be with like eighty year old drag drag queens and gays and theater and music and that's where I like lived until I went home. And then I was thinking at home, my mom was always drunk and you know, a lot of darkness and stuff like that. But I was, I had a thought in my head that I used to watch G-string divas. Did you ever see that?

• 10:12Bunnie XO?

  I loved G-string divas, real sex, like fucking the cat house.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  Taxi cab confessions too, also is a jam. They need to bring that back. I actually thought of a concept for that one time. But we're both producers. We're gonna be shouting out. We're giving the whole fucking world all their next ideas because TV is so whack right now.

• 10:27Bunnie XO?

  I'm telling, it is really whack right now. No, it's crazy.

• 10:30Speaker 01

  I'm like, I'm gonna have to just jump in the production seat and start giving y'all ideas.

• 10:34Bunnie XO?

  Why don't you?

• 10:36Speaker 01

  I do. I have, I'm, I'm a producer on a project I'm working on now and I'll continue. You kinda have, I don't come with the same resume as people who have been in the game on the back. I've been on the front end doing it.

• 10:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I get it.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  But I've been told by every production I've ever been on, you're great on TV, but you really are meant to be like behind the camera. You just like run circles in these productions. I used to be able-

• 10:58Bunnie XO?

  It's because your mind, because you like to multitask and you, and that's how I am. I hate being in front of the camera. People don't realize that and I hate it. I don't like it.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  I heard you say you didn't like red carpets.

• 11:08Bunnie XO?

  I hate red carpets too.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  I do too, bitch. And I feel the same way as you do. You go work so hard, get those pictures back. Eddie and wire need to be burnt away.

• 11:16Bunnie XO?

  And that's why I have media- Friends with photographers. Shout out Taylor Hill. Shout out.

• 11:24Bunnie XO?

  Dude, they always get the best angles. I'm telling you, you have to make friends with the photographers because once they love you, they go out of their way to make sure that you look good on the carpets. But you're just like me, like we, our mind is going a mile a minute. So when we are behind the scenes and we're working, we're technically like, we feel better about ourselves when we're workhorses. And that does stem from, you know, our childhood because I don't know about you yet, but you know, my childhood was kind of rough too. I heard you say that your mom was an alcoholic, but I never hear you talk about. Wow. I never hear you talk about your dad. Was dad around?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  Dad was more so like where the like, if you want to behave unlike the way she wanted me to behave, you'll go to your dad's.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  My mom, I don't even know that they were married. I never got a clear answer on that. I don't believe. Sometimes I think about my childhood and the things, like I remember being very young and like the first time I like fell off a bike or something. I was hurt. I had blood everywhere. I had scraped myself up and I was like in shock, like very first time I had gotten in an accident at a really young age. I had this memory today of like running in and asking my mom, like I'm so scared. I don't, I don't know what to do. I, you know, blood was dripping down my legs. And my mom was like, you gotta scratch, go clean it up, suck it up. It was very much that type of like, she's a brilliant woman. She's a lawyer.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  As far as I know, I haven't had a relationship with her in years. It's been a bit touchy lately because I've had to revisit the relationship because of a scenario that I'm in currently and she has once again made sure to.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Um, withhold and not protect her child.

• 13:16Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  And I let go of her because she couldn't get that piece right. And it was too damaging because I was trying to make that piece right in all of my relationships. So I was attracting qualities about her that I loved, but that never saw me, accepted me, or loved me. And I wanted to make them love me and you just can't.

• 13:39Bunnie XO?

  No, you can't do that. What about your dad, though? Like, so did you guys have like a good relationship? Or was he very absent? Because that could be qualities that you're chasing and finding in these men, too.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  So he is so like, with all due respect to people that have very strong feelings about loving your parents, regardless of your experience with them. Uh, he's so fucking irrelevant to me. Like, I don't, I'm, I was with him a couple of times in childhood. When I had a TV show, both my parents showed up for a paycheck. Um, or a vaca- a flight out or a vacation, whatever it is. Um, there was a big scene on my show where he says he'll keep checking in every week. And he was sad for, you know, they wasn't a strong father to me. And I believed that and I didn't hear from him ever again. He writes me like once on my birthday every year when I did.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Um, he said like two very, I, I, I talked to him maybe like once every couple of years, maybe. One time he was ranting about Trump and I just said to him like, you know, don't take all of that stuff so seriously. You have to remember politics and like entertainment. Everybody's putting on a show. It doesn't necessarily mean what they're doing in front of everybody is what they do at home. I specifically know what that family does at home very well.

• 15:01Bunnie XO?

  I would like to know.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Well, we'll get into it as much as we can. Um, but I, um, I just said, you know, if, if it were.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  If it were, if this type of race paid him and, and put money in his pockets, it's about green. It's not about any of this or that, because he was like picking and choosing specific sentences and outrage. And then he was like, oh, don't, just because you fucked his son and he fucking used you and fucked you and dropped you like a bad habit. Don't fucking think you could tell your dad some shit. Like, I was like, first of all, I didn't never talk to my father about that relationship. He must have read about it in the press. Never once has.

• 15:40Bunnie XO?

  Wait, hold on, who said this to you?

• 15:41Speaker 01

  My dad and my mom has said way worse. Yeah. They talk like, like, um.

• 15:47Bunnie XO?

  So you got no emotional support?

• 15:50Speaker 01

  No emotional support from either.

• 15:51Bunnie XO?

  You never felt like you were loved genuinely?

• 15:55Speaker 01

  No, and you know what's crazy is watching your podcast made me, especially like as I, you know, I have to allocate my time so tightly nowadays, but the past couple of days I've been really like locking in on knowing I'm coming here and talking with you. And it made me feel so free to see so many people that were so expressive about going through,

• 16:17Speaker 01

  you know, poorly represented parents and childhood trauma.

• 16:21Bunnie XO?

  Say it, trauma.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Trauma, because I've always had to keep everything so perfect that I don't really talk about it. I, I, I've always, I think, you know, I, I, there are times where I really believed and wanted to believe and there are times that I just full blown fake it. But I've never really like come out and said anything because I remember like some engagement with my mom at a certain point in my career where she basically was just like, you can do whatever you're gonna do and talk however you want to talk about whatever you talk about, but you don't talk about me or what you feel I've been as a mother because you're gonna compromise me and she's an attorney and she worked hard for her degree and she's got a community of people that believe in whatever she's presented them.

• 17:07Bunnie XO?

  That's a narcissist. Trying to control the narrative.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  But at that time, I took that very seriously and I didn't for the longest and until like Bali was a life, like I heard you talking to someone about like if you weren't changing something during COVID, then you wasted your time.

• 17:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  I mean, I moved away to Bali and got out of all the chaos because I just had like my one, I had one breaking point moment where it was like I was gonna die or I was gonna go. And somebody was like, a friend told me like, Aubrey, your mind is way too expansive to try to be involved or have any control in this moment. It is so beyond your brain's capacity to

• 17:56Speaker 01

  grab on to any of this. And I just know too much of the truth about everything that's going on and I was seeing different worlds of truths connect in front of the world as if it was real and I know what each has said about each and it was getting like, I felt like I was gonna explode.

• 18:16Bunnie XO?

  That's heavy.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Heavy. And, and he was like, you need to get into psychedelics. I had like, I've done every drug once. I, I, once or twice, maybe like every Christmas, Halloween.

• 18:27Bunnie XO?

  Not Christmas.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Christmas.

• 18:29Bunnie XO?

  Damn. Happy Birthday, Jesus.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  My friends, we do Friends Christmas. We'll, we'll smoke weed and they always say they love when I smoke weed because my wool coat comes off. That's what they say.

• 18:41Bunnie XO?

  Do you feel like you mask to the world a lot?

• 18:45Speaker 01

  I mean,

• 18:45Bunnie XO?

  Unintentionally? I know that saying mask is a heavy word because it would insinuate that you're being fake.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  No, I don't mind that. I don't mind the word. Um, I've been thinking about that. It's hard because I'm so honest, like in this weird stage that I'm in of my life right now. There are so many things I've been telling the world for so long and no one listened and no one believed me and now I'm seeing it

• 19:11Bunnie XO?

  vindication.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Full circle and that these people being exposed to the world and we haven't even like scratched the surface. So their outrage then coming back and recognizing me like, oh, Aubrey did say this. So Aubrey's got a history for 20 years of saying this. And I'm like, I don't get excited. I wish, I wish they would have done it a little earlier because maybe then my ego could have fed off of it a little, but my ego's gone now. So it doesn't do anything for me on that front, but it does make me realize I have always really sat in my truth. However, masking, I think that

• 19:49Bunnie XO?

  Because you are, underneath all this, this beauty, you are a hurt.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think, by the way, I think

• 19:56Bunnie XO?

  We're all hurt little girls.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, everybody's, everybody's hurting.

• 20:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, for sure.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  We're a country that's hurting. That's why we're in the position we're in right now, just across the board. It's, it's, we're a fucking mess right now. If you go outside of this country looking in, we are a mess. We're not respected like we were, it used to be.

• 20:13Bunnie XO?

  This world needs more love. I preach that all the time.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  We need way more love. We need way more

• 20:18Bunnie XO?

  Compassion.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Understanding. Every time I do a podcast, like the company, if they have a company, it's like, we want to sign you and do a podcast with you. I've been asked so many times. And I'm like, I don't want to contribute to, which by the way, I respect your voice in it. So this is not toward you, but there's a lot. This, this space is the most crowded space in entertainment.

• 20:37Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  There are too many motherfucking people talking right now, like not enough people listening and listening to the right people.

• 20:45Bunnie XO?

  I agree, but I think your voice could make a change and that's why I keep, I continue on, like I was telling you before the mics were on, like I've had my podcast since before the boom.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:54Bunnie XO?

  And it's like when you've seen, I've seen so many people come and so many people go and what really matters and why my fan base is so solid is because they know that I'm here to make a change. I'm not here to feed people shit. And I think that people would see that with you too, and that would be your platform. I really think that you could You know, start a movement bitch. I think this is like, could be, you know, potentially part of your calling.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  The thing is, right now, I'm a, I'm a bit too reckless at the tongue. I, I get way too honest, way too quick.

• 21:24Bunnie XO?

  I don't feel like you are.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  No, I, I am bitch.

• 21:27Bunnie XO?

  I've watched a lot of-

• 21:28Speaker 01

  I'm really holding everything in.

• 21:29Bunnie XO?

  Okay, well, let's not because-

• 21:30Speaker 01

  Every time you see me. No, not here. I mean, every time you probably see me, there are things that I can't even talk. I mean, I'm, I'm an open book. I would tell you, if the cameras aren't on us, I'll tell you all about it.

• 21:39Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  But there are some things I just can't talk about legally.

• 21:43Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Right now. So like, there, I'm in this like weird little position where my, my good friends are kind of telling me, you can't be around people right now because you talk too much and you're too open. And if you're around the wrong person, you could potentially create shifts and very big narratives that need to play out. And so, and changes that need to occur. So I feel the weight of like isolating and it sucks.

• 22:14Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Everywhere I go, I probably go on these podcasts and these bitches are looking at me like, three hours later, like, fuck, is this bitch done? And I did call her daddy. She was like, this is the longest I've ever interviewed someone and we're running, this is the longest podcast I've ever ran.

• 22:27Bunnie XO?

  Oh, how long was it? Three hours?

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Like two and a, two and a little bit.

• 22:31Bunnie XO?

  Those are like normal for me now.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  I know.

• 22:33Bunnie XO?

  It's crazy.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  I don't want to hear anything short.

• 22:35Bunnie XO?

  Uh, yeah.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Every short one I've done, it was like, okay, so you basically read the covers of Us Weekly that popped up on page one and two of Google. Great. I've answered these questions 700 times, but okay.

• 22:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, it's gotta be exhausting doing perpetual interviews. And that's, that's another reason I don't do a lot of interviews.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  I don't either.

• 22:54Bunnie XO?

  I hate repeating myself.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  I pick and choose. I just, sometimes I choose the wrong people.

• 22:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 23:00Bunnie XO?

  Um, circling back though, you know, you're grown up in childhood, you don't feel supported. You don't feel like you have a safe space essentially. And you're excelling in school, you're doing, you know, amazing academically.

• 23:14Bunnie XO?

  When Danity Kane or the, the whole Diddy situation comes about, you're how old, 16, 17?

• 23:21Speaker 01

  A little older. I was in the beginning stages of college and my mom sent me this email and basically pleaded with me. She just said, you know, you're, I was studying to go to law school and be an attorney. Um, because I was gonna do everything that I saw my mom do better. Just cuz is kinda how I was.

• 23:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 23:46Speaker 01

  Um.

• 23:47Bunnie XO?

  See Aquarius in you.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  Probably. And then she wrote me and basically said that, which is the Leo in her, and then said, "Don't bother, kid. I won't be watching and I won't care."

• 23:59Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  "Go do what you're meant to do in life that I never could and go be an artist. You've been singing your whole life. You've been on stage your whole life. Here's this audition that I just saw on the cover of The Desert Sun, which was our newspaper in the desert. And it was Diddy was doing this collaborative show with MTV and there weren't reality shows back then like that. It wasn't like it is today. I mean, I remember the first time the episode aired and I went to the grocery store, like, an entire aisle when I walked down, it like dropped the cans on the floor and were just staring at me like I was fucking Julia Roberts in Ralph's or something. Like, they just, reality stars felt like Julia Roberts in the beginning, but they were in your local Ralph's.

• 24:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  And you could see them and actually ask them something. Were you, we never see Julia Roberts in Palm Springs, you know? So it was like movie stars, these people that you watch on film, but they were like from your hometown. Now they're everywhere. Everybody's famous for something now.

• 24:55Bunnie XO?

  Literally.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  But back then, it was very different. I mean, it was MySpace. That's all we had. It was who's in your top eight, you know, or whatever the fuck. MySpace top eight, right? Wasn't it? But anyways, so, um, I, my mom told me about the show and she like really was, it was life-changing. I don't know if it was for the better now that we've come full circle and I'm having to... Take copious notes and timelines and have a very strong understanding of what I experienced. Um, but she wrote this like plea to me and she said, I'd never be happy being attorney. I'm too creative and there's this glass ceiling for women and that I'll regret it.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  And she didn't want me to live a life I would regret. So there were moments where my mom has been very influential and key. She's not a dumb woman.

• 25:45Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  She's not like, she, she, she gets drunk on wine. She's not pounding like.

• 25:50Bunnie XO?

  Vodkas.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  Vodka.

• 25:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  But at least not when I was around. But when she drank, you know, first glass, she's wonderful, beautiful, charming. Second glass, best storyteller you've ever heard. That's probably where I get it from.

• 26:05Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Third drink, it starts to turn into suspicion and paranoia and are you fucking my husband? And then I get beat and then she takes off drunk and then my stepdad and I are trying to figure out where the fuck, I'm hiding the keys and she's beating me up and I've got them. I knew to always protect my face because my face had to be on TV in two days when I had to fly back and do Making the Band again.

• 26:31Bunnie XO?

  So this is the first time I've ever heard you talk about physical abuse with your mother. So when did the physical abuse start as a child?

• 26:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:41Bunnie XO?

  That's right.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  There was like, I, I, you know, listen, I, I didn't understand it at all when I was a child. I just, it was normal and I normalized it. I kind of became very OCD because I saw my mom struggling too, right? Like I saw my stepdad hit her, beat her. Hit her and she flew into like a sconce in the wall. And then we weren't living in that big mansion anymore. We were sleeping in the car. For weeks, we were going into a weird food stamps place when I lived in like a big, huge mansion a, a week prior. I didn't know that he was fucking the secretary at her law firm and now my mom can't be made partner and now she's lost her job and she's freaked out and.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  I didn't understand what that would feel like. Now I know what those things feel like.

• 27:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  I didn't understand losing your love or him being bipolar or whatever the fuck was going on.

• 27:34Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  I didn't know. I just knew that my mom asked me to sleep in her bed with her that night. I just knew like the procedural stuff. And everything else was me trying to fit in. And so I I would walk kind of this long. A lot of girls wanted to beat me up like because I was nerdy or I didn't have new clothes all the time like everyone did. And there was like, when you didn't come back to school with new clothes, everybody would laugh at you kind of. So people would fight. There were like fights with baddies in high school and I was always.

• 28:04Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah. We're from a different generation where people actually used to fight each other.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  Oh, they don't do it anymore. I would think it got worse after being on baddies.

• 28:11Bunnie XO?

  I feel like everybody. I feel like everybody just talks shit online to each other. It's about all now. It's about exposing where before it used to be like, meet me in the bathroom, bitch. Let's fucking touch these hands.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's all very much that.

• 28:22Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  Um, but I was so scared. I didn't. I was just so scared of everything and I didn't really have like, I didn't have a dad at home. So it wasn't anyone telling me like, fuck that girl, go fucking punch her in her fucking face. Or I didn't have a dad having my back or defending me. And I told my mom and my mom was like, get beat up, watch your face, cover your face when she's beating on you. Try to have her get your back or your legs or something. And so you can then let's move on. We have other things to handle. Like it was just very like, I was really left out there like needing to find control over what was happening. So I started, my brain started developing into OCD. Whatever the chemical imbalances that I have naturally started to really come forward because then

• 29:05Speaker 01

  there'd be nights like most of my nights I remember in my childhood and my mom, you know, to speak for her fairly, she says, there were all these great moments and I only remember the bad. I I can't.

• 29:18Bunnie XO?

  I hate that.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  I wasn't I wasn't drunk in my childhood and I remember it fine in my opinion, but.

• 29:22Bunnie XO?

  You know what I always say? Because my dad would say the same thing to me when I would remind him of trauma. I would say, you know, it's like that quote that they say on TikTok. For you, it was a regular Tuesday, but for me, it was like life changing.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:33Bunnie XO?

  You know, like they don't under for some reason, the parents can't wrap their brain around that they fucked up as parents.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  I had this really dope producer and I got into it with him one time and and he said to me. His parents were abusive and he had fucked up shit with them too, but he realized one time in a conversation when he was bartering for apologies, which I did for a long period of time with my mom. I wanted to make sure I gave her a chance to still be in my life. And I was, I didn't know I could let go, even at that time, probably.

• 30:02Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 30:03Speaker 01

  Um, and he said, I realized at one point when I was really going at it with my dad, mom, whoever it was, I can't remember. He said, I realized if they had, if they actually, even if they know deep down, if you have, they have a memory or don't because they were on drugs. Um, if they were to actually see and know and have that memory come into their mind, they wouldn't want to be alive anymore.

• 30:27Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  So then, so he had to just let it go and he learned to let it go, knowing that he wanted his parents to be alive and okay. And I, I don't know if it's just because I've been on my own since I was seventeen. I worked through this whole industry alone. I worked through Diddy. I worked through getting fired on national television after making no money and being hustled for six, seven seasons for being promiscuous and overly raunchy, which wasn't true. I had to then fight for a career after being blacklisted everywhere on fucking national TV with a lie. I couldn't come forward. I had no voice. I had no say. I had to, first offer I got, obviously for the overly promiscuous raunchy girl was Playboy.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  Cover a Playboy, first paycheck I ever made.

• 31:15Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 31:15Speaker 01

  Um, got me to be able to get away from my mom's house because meanwhile I was not making any money in Dandy D Kane. So I still had to go home to my mom and get beat.

• 31:24Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  So it, it's like, you know, it was, it was chaotic. I mean, it was just absolutely chaotic.

• 31:32Bunnie XO?

  It's a lot.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  But as I was, I was saying, as I was going to, as I would walk up to school, I'd be, you know, at nighttime, my mom would get drunk and she would lock herself in her room and like pass out in this like shower, this long shower that she had. And so I would learn, I learned how to pick the lock with like a hairpin. And I would go into the shower, take off all my clothes, lay down next to her and like a ball, and I would just stick my finger under her nose like this because I could feel if there was hot air. And then I would know she's not dead because she looked dead.

• 32:01Bunnie XO?

  Oh my god.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  So I did that frequently and then, you know, hours later she'd wake up, kick me out of the room, tell me I'm being fucking weird and annoying and then I'd have to wake up and go to school in an hour and try to fit in with everybody at, you know, and be, try to be popular and try to look like I got sleep and I know what I'm doing and I, I have something new on or whatever. And so I started developing this pattern of OCD. When I would walk to school, if I saw a crack, I'd be like, if you don't step on any of the cracks today, your mom won't die, she'll be okay tonight, and you won't get beat up at school. So I started to walk in patterns where I avoided cracks. It got to a point where I was like, traveling the world.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  I don't even know if it was in Danity Kane or prior because I traveled around the world on, uh, in a abroad program prior. But um, I remember being in India and like, I had something where I had to, if there's any trash in my direct path, I had to pick it up because I need to do better for the world.

• 33:05Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  And I, my, my OCD always kind of locks around making things better for society. It's probably an Aquarian thing because we're like humanitarians and we have, uh, leaning in that area.

• 33:17Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 33:18Speaker 01

  So I remember being in India and there was like a needle. I just happened to walk in the path of.

• 33:25Bunnie XO?

  My OCD would have made me run the other way.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  I had to pick up like a used needle on the ground and throw it away. I can't even tell you, there was one where I couldn't say the word stop for like three years because it's a very, I felt it was a negative word and that it. Isolated you and that it it only closed off opportunities and people and so I couldn't use the word stop. And if I did, I had to do like a very rigorous process of touching multiple fucking things. Broadway was a hot mess for me.

• 33:56Bunnie XO?

  Let's talk about that. So when did you start, when did singing into your life?

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Um, oh, I just went as a child.

• 34:01Bunnie XO?

  You just always sang. You've always had the beautiful set of pipes.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, always on stage, never in a studio. Making the band was the first time I I didn't act like it. No one knows this, but I had never been inside a studio. I remember my very first note and my, remember, mind you, inside a studio with lighting like this with a camera about this far away from me, with a microphone and earphones, acting like I'm ready to go, I'm, I'm gonna make this band, like, no fucking idea where what the, how to even sing in that, in space.

• 34:32Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  And I'm used to being on stage because I was always in musical theater. So.

• 34:37Bunnie XO?

  When you say musical theater, was it like in school or was it like?

• 34:40Speaker 01

  No, like I did tours.

• 34:42Bunnie XO?

  Okay, as a child.

• 34:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:44Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  So, um, when I, when I was in the studio, I remember like belting very big because that's what you do when you're on stage. That's your most impressive parts. When you get your big notes and you belt really big.

• 34:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  In a studio, you, that does not translate.

• 34:58Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  You almost have to sing in a baby voice to come off just smooth enough on a track. Like, sometimes I watched, like, even reference singers, reference stuff that I do, and I'm like, she's barely whispering in that bitch. And it, and it comes out like incredible.

• 35:13Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 01

  But I remember like singing big and Diddy stopped me and I was like, bitch, are you, is there a megaphone in front of you? Like, slow it down. Fall off the beat. Sexy robot. That's what he liked. Sexy robot, off the beat a little.

• 35:29Bunnie XO?

  So.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  Behind the beat.

• 35:30Bunnie XO?

  So, you know, you go into this, this TV show and of course, you know, you've been very vocal about how Diddy treated you guys and what has happened with you guys and stuff like that. But through all these interviews that I have watched with you, there's a side of you that still protects him a little bit. Have you ever realized that?

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Oh, God, girl, I, I'm deeply in this. No interview I've done, I can even discuss how deeply in this world I'm in right now.

• 35:57Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  Um.

• 35:58Bunnie XO?

  No, I mean, he's in some shit. These, these are.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I mean, I know, I know. I know way more than anyone realizes and I can't talk about anything right now.

• 36:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  And so I'm like busting at the fucking seams and I'm wanting to tell everybody every day what occurs. Um, there are things that are developing that will, you know, allow eventually a voice to be had and I will have my motherfucking voice had.

• 36:32Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  I just can't do it right now. And um, that's very hard for me because I'm very much in the stage of, I don't care about playing any industry games. OnlyFans has given me the freedom to say no to doing anything. I don't have to take a show. I don't have to get a show.

• 36:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  I don't have to uh, sell Hollywood anymore.

• 36:55Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Fuck them.

• 36:56Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  I've always felt that way, but I've had to smile and tap dance for them for most of the time. I fucking hated most of my managers and agents. Most of them workhorse you and then put you down when the work isn't coming in, tell you that you're overexposed and to go sit back for a while and for people that are used to, you were workhorseing me last year.

• 37:16Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  You enjoyed all the paychecks I brought you. So you see how disposable you are.

• 37:21Bunnie XO?

  You're only as good as your last performance.

• 37:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, all of it. Diddy taught us. I remember like when we first went platinum, he brought our platinum plaques out at Madison Square Garden. We were on Christina Aguilera's tour. And the next day, we walk in the studio and all of us were like beaming and we were like, holy shit. I mean, even the first time we heard our song on the radio. It was like a huge moment for us. And we walked in and met Diddy with, what the fuck are you bitches smiling about? We, we cut platinum albums at Madison Square Garden last night. Like, holy shit. And he'd be like, yeah, that was yesterday. What the fuck have you done today? And I realized what you just said was the mentality. You're only as good as what you did today.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  Yesterday doesn't matter. The whole fucking career I've built right now at this moment in entertainment. I used to build ships of my career as if one day I'm gonna get to the top of this mountain and look down and be like, wow. I have been on starred on Broadway. I have two double platinum albums and many more that I've written, produced. Uh, I know how to shoot music videos. Then I taught myself how to be an editor and use all of the, I mean, I can go on After Effects. I mean, I did all of our music videos in Dunblonde, edited all of them, shot all of them. Got a USC kid to get me a red camera. Went on YouTube for two days and learned every trick you can do with no money. And then did it to make it look like you have a million dollar budget.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  And I've had been on Hinge dates with the people that are like the heads at Sony and Paramount. And they're like, this was like, what, a million dollar budget? And I'm like, try five hundred. And we literally took the projector back to Walmart. All these black walls, green wall, white wall. That was my house. We painted them and then got in front of it. Like.

• 39:12Bunnie XO?

  Well, you're a hustler. You make shit happen.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:14Bunnie XO?

  You don't wait around for stuff to come to you. You go and.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  No, and I love, I love the creation part. But with all of that being said, I look, I come back from Bali now. None of that matters. Reputation doesn't even matter anymore. I didn't do so many things in my career because of reputation sake. Even the Don Trump Jr. stuff, when that came out, I mean, I remember my entire team that was with me being like, this is devastating for you. You won't work again. You took somebody's husband is how they presented it in the press. And all I had done for years was fight with Michael Cohen to keep it out of the press and to never have anyone see it. It was not.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Expected. So when it all dropped, it was so overwhelming. And now it's like, cool to fucking take somebody's husband.

• 40:04Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  You could get millions.

• 40:07Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, the shit that gets you attention. Let's circle back to the,

• 40:10Speaker 01

  It's horrible.

• 40:10Bunnie XO?

  Let's circle back to the Diddy thing because there's a lot of people who might be listening who maybe if they live under a rug, don't know who you are. And so you're,

• 40:19Speaker 01

  Even Diddy, don't know who Diddy is. I walk into my OnlyFans company and they're like, who's Diddy? I'm like, really?

• 40:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, it's crazy.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  Old as fuck.

• 40:27Bunnie XO?

  I've always wanted to ask you this question.

• 40:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:29Bunnie XO?

  Do you think Diddy had something to do with Tupac's death?

• 40:34Speaker 01

  I think you'll find out soon. I mean, we're already finding out, right? Kefi D came forward and said what he said.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  He was in the car during the shooting that murdered Tupac. So he probably could tell you even better than I can. They arrested him. He said what it was. He just had a whole breakout in the middle of court like last week, telling everybody that Diddy paid him a million dollars to get rid of Pac.

• 41:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 41:01Speaker 01

  Is what he's saying.

• 41:02Bunnie XO?

  I, I feel that Diddy got rid of Pac and Biggie.

• 41:07Speaker 01

  And maybe others as well.

• 41:09Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. And does it scare you? How, you know, now that you are speaking out so openly and people are actually seeing that?

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Mind you, I'm not being open at all because I can't, but I appreciate you saying that.

• 41:21Bunnie XO?

  No, no, no. But now that you're speaking out as much as you can and you're like trying to open up the floor. What you are, were the forerunner of really kind of exposing Diddy. You've always done it very tastefully and tactfully though.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  I had to, bitch. He could, he was.

• 41:37Bunnie XO?

  That was my next question. Like, does that scare you that you could possibly end up on one of these missing person lists because of Diddy?

• 41:45Speaker 01

  You know, I've, I was asked that on a podcast and everyone was like, oh God, fuck this girl. Tell us what you know or fuck off. Like this mentality of like, we want it now. And like, God forbid, like I should just go on a podcast and tell the whole world what I know right now and what's happening behind the scenes versus I don't know, like somebody who could do something about it and create justice, which is what anyone that's got a story should be doing right now.

• 42:08Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely.

• 42:09Speaker 01

  So it's like, it's puzzling to me when people like come at me so hard, but um,

• 42:15Bunnie XO?

  I mean, fuck every, what everybody thinks. This is your life. Nobody has to live in your shoes. You know what I'm saying?

• 42:20Speaker 01

  We just have to deal with the annoyances of people's fucking opinions bothering our days sometimes.

• 42:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, I get it. Trust me.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  I mean, everyone always acts like, oh, I don't care what people say. Listen, we are forced to see it now. Whether we like it or not, we are likely going to see one of the Kardashians per day on our Instagrams if we go on it. You are going to see a Kardashian every day for the rest of your motherfucking life. Unfortunately, we all are. Cause they pop up on the Instagram on everyone's phone daily.

• 42:46Bunnie XO?

  Do you still have a relationship with Kim? Cause you guys used to be friends, right?

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, best friends. Um, no.

• 42:51Bunnie XO?

  What, what happened there? Cause you, how do you go from being best friends with somebody to not?

• 43:00Speaker 01

  That's a hard one for me because they're more powerful and can make things happen more than Diddy. So I don't know that I should get into all of that. But, um.

• 43:13Bunnie XO?

  I had Shana Mokler on the podcast and she spilled all the tea.

• 43:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I actually, Shana and I became friends because she had thought I had took up for her in this decade. But I had made a Fourth of July post like years ago about like, I put them side by side because I was having a moment during Fourth, Fourth of July is the one where I kind of always reflect on my life. And.

• 43:38Bunnie XO?

  Why do you think that is? Cause it's like halfway through the year?

• 43:41Speaker 01

  I don't know, but I was with a huge producer this year and he looked at me and he goes, Fourth of July is a really big. I'm like, I'm so happy to be where we're at in this moment, sitting next to you, like experiencing this together. Because this is where I really do a lot of my internalizing, further processing of the year, my life, where I'm at, where it's going. I don't know why, but he had it too. So I was like, okay, that's the first person I've met that does it on Fourth of July as well.

• 44:05Bunnie XO?

  That's a soulmate, right? That's a soulmate right there.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Fireworks feel like, I mean, like the trip I just had here, like all the lightning that was coming in the skies. I don't see a lot of that in LA. Fireworks to me feel grand and, and.

• 44:20Speaker 01

  Like, they feel like bigger than life. So when I see them pop in my face, it just gives me like, um, big adult perspec- uh, uh, bird's eye view perspective. Cause I feel out of this earth when I see them.

• 44:34Bunnie XO?

  I was gonna say, I wonder if it's a part of your soul.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  It's a visual, it's a visual situation.

• 44:37Bunnie XO?

  I wonder if it's a part of your soul that yearns to be like.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  Probably, something, something like that.

• 44:42Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 44:43Speaker 01

  A big star that in the sky.

• 44:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, or just back in space where everybody belongs, you know?

• 44:49Speaker 01

  On DMT, I was, it was like fireworks on crack.

• 44:53Bunnie XO?

  I could never do DMT. I would fucking probably shit my pants. There's no way.

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Oh, it's so fantastic.

• 44:58Bunnie XO?

  Okay, take me.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  Time where you get to the place where you feel comfortable. You gotta feel comfortable, cause it's, it's, you die in the very beginning.

• 45:05Bunnie XO?

  Like, yeah.

• 45:06Speaker 01

  Not easy.

• 45:07Bunnie XO?

  No, thank you.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  It happens very fast, though.

• 45:08Bunnie XO?

  I'm fighting for my life right now. I, last thing I wanna do, last thing I wanna do is fucking just, you know, go into a situation knowing I'm gonna croak in the first fucking three minutes. Nothing about that sounds fucking amazing, but, okay, so before we get into your DMT thing, so you don't wanna speak on the Kim Kardashian thing.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  Oh, I just, I think, um, I, I just, I don't believe the friendship was ever real or it would still exist, right?

• 45:32Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:33Bunnie XO?

  That's hurtful.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I really, I thought we were friends, but I don't know. Um, I lived at her house. I was around during a pretty like, pivotal time in her. I'm on the first episode of The Kardashians on the pilot.

• 45:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  Like, um, I was there when she first had paparazzi mob her Range Rover outside of Verve. We were, she, we went shopping. I mean, I was there during.

• 45:58Bunnie XO?

  Before she blew up.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was there during the beginning. Now, I don't know who she is now as a person, but, oh, I was saying the reflection. Sorry, I jump around so much.

• 46:05Bunnie XO?

  You're good, you're good. I don't, I like listening to you talk, cause it's so, it's, it's almost poetic and pretty to listen to, but I'll always try to keep you on track if I can.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Keep me looped back, because I will just, I, my, I have so, such a memory bank. I jump. But the Shayna thing you brought up, um, so I did a side by side on 4th of July years back and I said, here's a 4th of July that I remember and here's a 4th of July I remember. And one of them was with Kim and she was dating Travis and we went over to his house.

• 46:33Bunnie XO?

  Wait, wait, wait. Kim was dating Travis Barker?

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Yes, we were rushed over, getting ready to go to Travis's. And then there was a whole big problem. It was when his best friend was still alive before the plane accident. Um, his best friend came in and he's like, yo Shayna's being crazy. She's been slashing tires, like she's got, she's something to the extent of like she saw Kim's car outside or whatever. She was gonna slash the tires. I think at this time, maybe he was even right after Paris or they were overlapping moments of the Paris Travis, Kim Travis era things, but I was there.

• 47:09Bunnie XO?

  Which they all, which Kim denies it to this day.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Well, that's what I was gonna get into. So I was with her and we went over to Travis's. They were, we were over there and then Kim needed to be seen in Malibu, so we had to go to Malibu and go to every party and get the perfect photos for Kim so that she's perfectly seen by everybody and all the photos at all the it parties with all the it people. Then we got back in the Range Rover and we were in horrible traffic going back to Calabasas. And all I asked her for that day was to just be able to see the fireworks. She never really took time to ask me about me or know me. So she wouldn't have understood how important 4th of July was to me like you now do because you just asked.

• 47:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  In the fucking two hours that I've known you. In the, in the very long time that I knew her, I don't think she understood how important 4th of July was to me, but we were on her time always. And, um, and as we were driving back, because we had to go do all the things, we're trying to get back to Travis's and um, we were stuck in traffic during the fireworks on 4th of July. And I was like, can we at least just pull over like on the next pull off? And so I could just sit in the grass and like see them and like have a moment, please? So she was like, yeah, and we pull over and we sit in the fireworks and I'm watching them. And we're sitting there on the grass, like in a random neighborhood, pulled off in the grass, watching the fireworks.

• 48:31Speaker 01

  And she turned to me and was like, um, I remember like last year or whatever, what at some point, I remember being with Paris and Saint-Tropez or some on some boat or yacht or with something with Paris, the whole like lovely story with Paris. I'm listening to her and she's like, and we were with this person and that person and we were in this, that and it was this, this, other. And now I'm sitting here on some grass with you. And I was like thinking to myself like,

• 49:04Speaker 01

  ditto bitch, but not that because I didn't have that confidence at that time yet. But I think the inside of me was thinking, yeah, me too. I used to be in really amazing places on 4th of July. This is the least impressive one I've had. But um, but I wrote that story in comparison to when I think some type of time when I was traveling the world and I was with like kids from an orphanage and my time and experience with them was so precious on that day and there were no celebrities, there were no parties, there were no wire image and Getty pictures. There was no Travis Barker's big mansion and pool parties. There was none of any of that.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  It was just a raw moment in another country with people that have nothing and it meant the world. And then I kind of wrote something on the side by side like, you know, be careful not to get lost in the wrong things because as I look back now with a bird's eye view, people would have thought that was the most impressive 4th of July I've had, when in reality, the most meaningful, impressive to me 4th of July I ever had was on this side. So somebody in the media just screen capped it, never ran it. I low key give the world information so,

• 50:24Speaker 01

  so bluntly and they just don't catch it because they don't pay attention to me uh, or at that moment or whatever. But I low key have dropped so many gems for people along the way, but that would just went fell by the wayside and then as Couple years later, I think I've gone to Bali and come back now. Shayna Mokler writes me one night and she's like, hey, I just want to say like, I really respect you so much for having my back when everybody's turning on me and everyone's saying I'm a fucking liar. And you have my back of nobody, that none of my friends, people that know. Not one person will come forward and say anything that's true about that situation. And I'm out here, I've lost my kids.

• 51:06Speaker 01

  They're more impressed because I can't give them that lavish life. I'm sure she told you when she came here. Kind of said the same thing to me. And I was sitting there like, I didn't even have her number in my phone and I was like, who is this? What is this about? What the fuck? And then I called my assistant and I'm like, some number just wrote me, thanks for having their back in regards to Travis Barker. And I'm, what the fuck? And she's like, oh, I'm getting a bunch of Google alerts right now of people saying you're backing up Shayna that Kim had dated Travis. And I was like, oh shit, she must think that I just posted that recently. So I wrote her and I was like, no problem. Like, I literally wrote that years ago. But that actually helps to, that actually helps her. Because years ago, I said it.

• 51:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. Just like the Diddy stuff.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:53Bunnie XO?

  Like how it just resurfaced.

• 51:54Speaker 01

  Many things.

• 51:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, like, nobody believed you. So circling back really quick, just to give a quick synopsis of what happened with Danity Kane, just in case people who are listening didn't know. Let's take them through the Diddy situation and kind of the abuse that you had to go through while, you know, just trying to fucking live a dream and make a dream for yourself.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  Well.

• 52:19Bunnie XO?

  So we started with, mom sent you the email.

• 52:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, so mom sent me the email. I disregarded it. Um, I had a dream that night that I was performing at Madison Square Garden. And I saw like people crying and singing lyrics to me when I was touching their hands on a stage. And I woke up and was like, ah, I gotta, I gotta go to this audition. So I called like a friend of mine and he, he had to work that day. I was scared of driving to LA at the time. I was at UC Irvine in college. I was scared of driving to LA because I'd gotten in like a couple of car accidents at that point and was scared.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  Um, so he couldn't take me, so I just got dressed for college, was walking to my poli sci class. And he hit me and he's like, I ended up getting let go for the day. Like, let's go, I'll pick you up. Rolled up to UC Irvine, jumped in in the outfit I was wearing to, for class. And went to this audition at like the Forum or some huge, big place in LA. Thousands and thousands of people in every city, hundreds of thousands by the end of both seasons of audition phases. And, um, he picked two of us, I think, in LA, two, two or three, maybe.

• 53:35Bunnie XO?

  Out of thousands.

• 53:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. Thousands and thousands and they all sang better than me, or at least the ones I was hearing. I walked up and they gave you a sheet. There was like six or seven songs on it. Girl, I could not tell you one of the songs. I listened to Incubus, I listened to, uh, Third Eye Blind, Ben Harper, Jack Johnson. I was like a fucking Nirvana. Like, all I knew was alt-rock. I cried to every song that I in my head loved somebody too, because I still hadn't fallen in love or dated yet, or even had sex or anything. I was really far behind on all of that.

• 54:14Bunnie XO?

  Were you a virgin whenever you joined, uh, the show?

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:18Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. So, I

• 54:21Bunnie XO?

  How crazy. You join the show a virgin and then Diddy fires you later on for being too promiscuous.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  And my first, my love of, my first love of my life that I was with was, um, his DJ.

• 54:34Bunnie XO?

  Do you think that caused jealousy?

• 54:37Speaker 01

  Uh, not his regular DJ, but a very respected DJ. He DJs for Obama and Oprah and Diddy and Jay-Z and everybody. Um, but like he was the first love of my life and I dated him for the majority of Danity Kane.

• 54:53Bunnie XO?

  Do you think that caused jealousy with Diddy because he seems to be such a, um, and I hate throwing the word narcissist around because that's just what it is, but he just seems like he needs to have all of the attention.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  I don't know that I brought that relationship into my work when he was around much. I noticed issues with a person after.

• 55:21Bunnie XO?

  Were you and Diddy ever intimate with each other?

• 55:25Speaker 01

  To my knowledge and to what I want and what I feel and what I, um, would have ever desired, absolutely not.

• 55:36Bunnie XO?

  But there is.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  I don't, I can't speak any further on anything.

• 55:41Bunnie XO?

  So who was the friend afterwards that he, that you, you could feel some sort of, he felt some sort of way about it?

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Um, there was our manager. His name's Jay Irving. He's the son of the famous basketball player. He came on and managed us for a bit. Danity Kane was long gone, falling apart at the seams.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  I think it got to a point where we were, we were flirting. My, one of my bandmates brought him into the equation. And then, um, I don't know, we like, we're always around each other during work. There was a lot of weirdness between those two, but he's, runs more in the same circles and is respected differently at that time and place. Um, so, um, him and I started dating, um, like toward the end. I mean, I think it was like a moment, like, he had asked all the girls, like, do you really want to be here? Because.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  Some of the girls. Everybody was very divided.

• 56:53Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  And he made us all sit in a room after a performance. He asked everybody, I said yes, some people said yes right away. Always me first saying yes. Um, and then not everyone could give an answer and he asked us to like, take a week and think about it and come back and have an answer for him. And I said yes, somebody else said yes, and then somebody else said no. And then the group was, uh,

• 57:24Speaker 01

  starting to dismantle at that point. That's when like Broadway comes along. He starts liking me and I just started to feel more freedom in the fact that like, I'm not the problem here. I want this, but not everybody here does. And I tiptoe around a lot of shady ass behavior because also as the group develops and get more famous is when I meet Kim. She was literally a fan of Danity Kane when I first met her and was like, like, she's the Aubrey of the group with her friends when I first met her.

• 57:56Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  And then like, um, as Kim blew up, when I'd come back home and live with Kim and go around with Kim, paparazzi was all on top of her car as we're driving out, literally.

• 58:08Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  And then I'd go to, I'd go do it back on tour. And then when we'd be in all these large venues, they'd be like Aubrey and the girls, Aubrey and the girls, just a solo of Aubrey. So that really doesn't sit well with a band where we're all equally singing and dancing and participating in it. And, um, you know, I can understand why

• 58:31Speaker 01

  some of my bandmates who never really understood me or got a chance took, took the time to know me.

• 58:36Bunnie XO?

  Really, after being together for so long and on the road and tours and platinum albums?

• 58:41Speaker 01

  You get divided so quickly.

• 58:43Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  You get put in your roles so quickly. It was very obvious from the very beginning that I would be pulled out of rooms. It was always a concern how my nails looked, how my hair looks, then my toenails don't look right, go get them fixed, your hair. I, I was very much groomed to be the

• 59:02Bunnie XO?

  Picked apart?

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Looker of the group. That's kind of what I was. Told I was in front of everybody all the time. So like, that makes people in the group who want to fit in that role too, not feel seen in that role. As in the group, I never felt seen as a talent and I didn't care about being the looker. I've never cared about that in my life. I didn't feel that I was that. Naturally, whatever confidence I had, I think, made me attractive to people. But I don't feel, even if I look, watch old Making the Band episodes, that I was particularly that pretty.

• 59:36Bunnie XO?

  You were beautiful.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  I mean, I was cool. I was a decent looking girl, but I wasn't like, I was very much groomed into having to pay attention to how I look all the time and I was made aware of how I look all the time. My weight, my, my hair, my nails, my, like, everything had to be like, at a certain level of consciousness continuously.

• 1:00:00Bunnie XO?

  Do you feel like because Diddy did nitpick you apart so much, that that contributes to, you know, any insecurities that you may have now, or that grew after being in that situation?

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  He's so far in my rearview. I've had so many huge world scandals since.

• 1:00:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. No, no, no, but I mean, like, but I mean, like, moving on from that, you ended up doing Playboy. You obviously got some-

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  His words, definitely, um, I'm learning now as I do a re- I had never watched my firing. I honestly didn't even really remember what he said during the episode. I just watched it when I came home from Bali and I was pissed. And that was even before Cassie dropped. I was just rewatching old episodes on the internet, on my live, talking with fans and I watched it and I had to get off the live and I like cried and I was like, I don't, I didn't even realize how much he shaped my opportunities with just a few sentences. I had the entire community- backing me when he said on camera during just the first season Aubrey are you black? Do you have black in you? You hang out with black people?

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Well, you look like you do. Everybody needs to be shaking their ass and doing what Aubrey's doing. Just that one line and all I was doing was just being the overachiever that I always am. I threw in a few extra little boom, boom, boom at the very end of when we were allowed to do a freestyle. And I just happened to do it way better than everyone in the room did. And so it really stands out on camera. And that really stood out to him, but an entire room of people that mostly weren't my color were told that they need to be like me.

• 1:01:42Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  And so that was this like immediate cosign that I watched a lot of people come up to me and show me respect for and pay tribute to that. And I was like, I, I couldn't believe that all of a sudden I could be respected or believed in based off of a sentence.

• 1:01:57Bunnie XO?

  The cool girl.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, based off of one sentence. Accepted in a world that I didn't even know I could be in or hang out around. And then, and then as it progressed, I saw how one sentence would then shape my ability to start a charity tomorrow, become Meghan Markle is probably who I like would have been in my life. Smart, educated, sophisticated. I'm probably a little bit more of a hoochie, but like, you know, when I

• 1:02:25Bunnie XO?

  You got a wild streak in you, baby.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  She probably does too, you know, we don't know how people are at home.

• 1:02:30Bunnie XO?

  It's always the ones that you think are really square that are the freakiest too.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  Sometimes, but when I watched Harry and Meghan, I very much

• 1:02:38Bunnie XO?

  Resonated with her?

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  I resonated with everything she did.

• 1:02:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:41Speaker 01

  I don't look it and I don't seem it and I definitely don't even speak it anymore. But I, the inside of me was like, that's who you would have been.

• 1:02:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. I think you come across, you, you come across as very intellectual and very smart. You're not a dumb blonde, you know?

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. I wouldn't have attracted Don Jr. Or anyone else.

• 1:03:02Bunnie XO?

  We're gonna get into that. We're gonna get into that. So moving on from Diddy. He pretty much fired you on, you know, national TV. Set this narrative that you are a certain way, that you're hard to deal with, you're this, that and the other. What happens then? Where, where are you mentally? Were you relieved?

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  So, no, I, when he fired, well, things occurred prior to the day I was fired.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Um, that weren't captured or told on camera, just that story was told on camera.

• 1:03:34Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  And no one in the room thought I knew that I was getting fired, no one in all the produ- I walked out with my microphone attached to my back, I like threw it in a trash can or something, like I walked out mic'd. That's how much the production was in shock.

• 1:03:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  And I walked down the stairs and I looked at my assistant and I was like, "Diddy just fired me." And she was like, "Well, you're getting best dressed at Fashion Week for New York Fashion Week and you have to be on a red carpet in ten minutes and you're already gonna be late, so you need to get in their, in the car service now." And I was like, "I just was fired, Jules." And she was like, "I get it, we'll figure it out, you have to be on a red carpet right now." And I just was shocked, then I put on my big fake face. I had to fake it for a good while until the episode aired. No one knew what to do. No one was talking at that point. We already had had one of the members say that she absolutely wanted to be done. That was never shown on television.

• 1:04:34Bunnie XO?

  Which member was that?

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Uh, Andrea.

• 1:04:36Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:04:37Speaker 01

  Um, and... And it's funny, even when I watched my firing, Diddy looks at her and he goes, "She was part of the problem for you, you told me, she was, she was the problem for you." And I realized, wow, she was, I knew she was having conversations with the manager, 'cause I was dating hi- him. And she would call him and talk bad about me and I could hear the conversations. None of them know that except Dee Woods, 'cause she was my roommate and I would go back and tell her, "Dre just called Jay and was like suggesting that I'm doing all kinds of things that I'm not." It was, it was ugly.

• 1:05:15Bunnie XO?

  Are you and Dee Woods still close?

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  I gotta pass on that right now.

• 1:05:28Bunnie XO?

  What about the other girls? Do you talk to any of them? Like Shannon, you and Shannon created a group together, correct?

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  We did.

• 1:05:35Bunnie XO?

  Dumb Blonde. I love the name.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. We have that in common.

• 1:05:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  I...

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  So, like, part of this whole Diddy thing was that he had given all of his artists their royalties back. I wrote on both our albums, we all did.

• 1:05:57Bunnie XO?

  Which you should get songwriting credits for that. Everybody does.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  It's like, two platinum albums, it's like, over forty plus million, maybe more. I mean, with exclusives, international. I mean, it could be forty to sixty million, and that's like, actual CD sales. We're not talking about streaming and you get a cent off of the sale.

• 1:06:17Bunnie XO?

  No, Danity Kane was huge.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  Didn't see a dime. Didn't see anything that... Playboy was the first thing that got me out of my mom's house.

• 1:06:24Bunnie XO?

  Well, do you talk to any of the girls?

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  He came forward and said he was giving us our publishing back. I looked at the contract and knew immediately that there was something funny going on. I was in different phases of my life. I reached out to everyone and asked them not to sign it.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  And a lot of them did. So...

• 1:06:44Bunnie XO?

  The majority of them?

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  I got a message from one of my band members that she was pissed that I was like, talking about this. And I wanna be respectful of my group. But it's very hard to move forward in my truth because it's the same thing I've always done. I'm trying to protect the legacy of something, like Dawn. If I really protect the legacy of what we shared together, I wouldn't be able to come forward and just be straight up with you about a lot of things, about their family and the shit that I saw. And now, he doesn't contribute to my life at all. So, if I wanna speak on it, I will speak on it because I took my power back in Bali and I'm not protecting anyone's legacy.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  Even if I was involved in it at any point, I'm just going to be me. Because when you hold in that many people's secrets...

• 1:07:39Bunnie XO?

  It makes you sick.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  It makes you sick. You can slide into addiction and other things.

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  So um, I just freed myself from all that. So it's hard because I'm once again feeling like I'm trapped in that I can't speak on this because I don't want to offend the girls type shit. But none of them are my fucking friends. They don't, they don't have my back. They don't protect me. Um, I thought Dee and I were gonna take this next journey together.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  That was short-lived. People will understand that in due time.

• 1:08:16Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  But she chose different than what our, I thought our understanding was and I didn't need to, I didn't need to hear anything anymore after that. I was done, blocked, done. I'm, I don't, I'm, I have no time in my life anymore for

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  trying to look out for people that aren't looking out for me.

• 1:08:40Bunnie XO?

  Amen, sister. You get to, I think you get to a certain age where you're just like, fuck this shit. Like, I'm not gonna keep.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  But I hate to say it because there's so many people that like, didn't kill themselves or were so inspired by the essence of a girl group in general, but Danity Kane specifically. Over and over, throughout my whole entire life, I've just met so many, we all have. So it's like something I want to protect, not just for the girls, but for the fans, for everybody, but I also now like, I need to be me. And, you know, I think OnlyFans would damn near make everybody not talk to me ever again anyway at this point. So I've done, taken the road I'm taking and I have no fucking regrets.

• 1:09:24Bunnie XO?

  Good.

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  And I thought that Dee and I would be able to come into this next phase together, but it didn't work out the way I wanted and hoped it to. And I was really looking out for her and bringing every. Opportunity I could her way and um I don't feel she did the same for me.

• 1:09:43Bunnie XO?

  Hmm and that's hurtful, you know, it's hurtful, especially because you guys, you guys share a huge chunk of your lives together, like a really cool part of your lives together and to think that somebody has your back and then find out later on that they don't, it's just hurtful and you know, when you get to a certain age, you don't want to be hurt anymore. You don't want to deal with the bullshit anymore. You don't want to have to guess if somebody has your back anymore.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I literally said, we said all of that to each other. I mean, I really got to like recon- because she didn't ever come back for the reunions. And she was the closest back in the day with me because we were roommates and she saw what was happening. We both saw a little glimpse of what was happening in each other's lives. But more detailed and we had a good understanding of each other at that time, but after it got really like separated and weird when she didn't want to come back. And then I went on with the other girls and I had, for me, I'm the only, only child in Danity Kane and I'm the youngest. So I really thought that we were gonna be sisters for life and I thought that we were gonna be friends for life.

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  Same with Shannon. Shannon, when I got really close to her, it felt like a blessing if I didn't believe in, if I'm just spiritual and don't have any pulse on a specific belief. I felt like whatever she was in my life was my chance at understanding family. Then she did something that betrayed my trust in a like severe way and then it got harder. And she really did stick in there and she really did, you know, she apologized. She knows that I don't have family to a very deep extent. She understood my life because she lived in my home and she was,

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  I was the, the one that kind of like housed every reunion and every project. All the merch was in my house, all of the, Shannon and I were like bringing the tours back, doing everything like Shannon and I built Dumb Blonde after Dawn socked me in a studio and we were left with no project with nothing to move forward with. Shannon and I were like, after spending a year doing this album and we just like, we're like, we sink or swim. What are we gonna do? And on a hike with my boyfriend, I came up with Dumb Blonde, went in the house and was like, I have an idea. And so like, you know, we, we, we were just together through so much and I really cherish what that was and I really did believe we'd always be there.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  But with the first, that breach of trust, a lot of other things I saw that weren't consistent with who I thought she was. And then, um,

• 1:12:29Speaker 01

  if or if not, she were one of the people that signed the contract, that would be probably the last straw for me because if you want three hundred dollars and thirty cents to sign a full release of that man and everyone in the industry, basically. A full release, no legal claims to anything. Um, that's fine.

• 1:12:53Bunnie XO?

  They're only paying you three hundred and thirty dollars?

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  The, the check that was cut for, it's not even, it wasn't even Diddy, it's Sony who took over our publishing.

• 1:13:03Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  Was now gonna give us whatever it's made in streaming since they've owned our catalog. Cause they bought our catalog out. So it was all, uh, guys, but it very cleverly in its writing protected a lot of people.

• 1:13:17Bunnie XO?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  And it happened right before Cassie dropped.

• 1:13:19Bunnie XO?

  I'm sure it was for protecting Diddy, the whole thing.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  That was my assumption.

• 1:13:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:25Speaker 01

  So that's why I told everybody, don't do it. And when I found out from our lawyer who did, I just felt in my heart, like that's a line in the sand for me because now with everything that I know, and Shannon knows a little bit about it, I did send her some things. And she was in shock, she was in, she was praying, she said, I'm praying. And I appreciate her prayers, but really what I would have appreciated is if she were to be one of the people that signed it, if she didn't, could go back and not because you can't come forward and talk about any of it. And it would be really great to be able to sit down and call my group members right now and say, hey,

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  do you remember any of these certain things that are, I'm being faced with right now? Do you remember any of these details? Do you remember any of this? And you could help me with categories of situations that are

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  horrific

• 1:14:29Bunnie XO?

  was there abuse at the same level as yours or did they just get to witness your abuse

• 1:14:35Speaker 01

  uh I I can't speak on I don't I I think I was treated differently than everybody um but uh Dawn continued on with him so she saw a lot from what she told me um but again you know she wanted to come forward and speak and tell everybody what she said to me she could help a lot of the victims and protect them but she's not and everybody can understand that as they will if you were to have signed that contract you wouldn't be able to come forward and say anything right now

• 1:15:11Bunnie XO?

  crazy that they would choose silence over

• 1:15:14Speaker 01

  and I don't know who or what I'm not suggesting anything because I really I'm gonna respect the text message that I got but I I think a little more protection in these times for each other as women would have been really crucial and way cooler than three hundred dollars and thirty cents

• 1:15:32Bunnie XO?

  yeah

• 1:15:33Speaker 01

  and I understand that maybe some people need the money or maybe some people thought there was some big play that they could have by owning the rights to the songs we wrote on but the songs we wrote on were never made singles of course on purpose they were some of our best songs but they were never made singles um and they likely they'd only pick up damaged showstop like our big singles if some campaign were to pick it up like in the future or they have already at this point multiple people have but that's not paying our pockets by owning the publishing we don't own the publishing on damaged or showstopper

• 1:16:08Bunnie XO?

  yeah

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  so so like it really wasn't the get that anyone thought and what it did was really show that like no one was really I don't know. I asked everybody, hey, could you not sign it? I'll send you three hundred bucks if you need it.

• 1:16:23Bunnie XO?

  Literally. Like, let's band together and be girls. Let's not.

• 1:16:27Speaker 01

  And then maybe Shannon, if she were to have signed it, maybe it would be because she doesn't want that anymore. And that would make it so that would couldn't happen anymore.

• 1:16:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, just final straw.

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, you know, it's hard if, it's hard when, like Shannon knows the power of like, like she told me toward the end of Dumb Blonde. I'm like, this is how I see this going. Like, I, we could create this. I mean, I did the second album alone, basically. She came in for a couple of days at the very end, put her voice down on some tracks, did some shoots with me, and that was that. I, I did the whole album.

• 1:17:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  But like, but like, as I would tell her, we were on Danity Kane's tour while that album came out. I mean, it was like, we're multitasking a lot of shit because Dawn came back and wanted to tour.

• 1:17:12Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:17:13Speaker 01

  So we were touring and then, um, I was telling Shannon and she just was like, I, she has a husband at home and she needed to go home. And she wanted to go home and she didn't want to do it anymore. And that didn't make sense to me and she'd never had had a problem with any of that prior. And like, as I started to get into it with her, at one point, she just turned, I was like, I, I have this TV show that I think I can get us and blah, blah, blah. And she was like, I, no, it's a pass for me. And I was like, why? And she just was like, she had been doing a lot of reflection and journaling. She was always really good at that. And she said, I think that I've been on this train way longer than I was meant to.

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  Because I thought my purpose was here because your desire for all of this is so overwhelming and encompassing. That I thought your dream and desire was mine too. But it, it isn't.

• 1:18:15Speaker 01

  And I, I don't have a rebuttal to that. I simply have to respect that it hurts like crazy.

• 1:18:23Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:24Speaker 01

  But I can't tell a grown woman that's older than me at that, like, you don't get the right to feel that way. I wanted to say that. I mean, the most selfish only child defense of me, if I had a dad and I had that protection, I wanted to say to her, you know what the goal was when we started this. You know what my vision was. I was not, I was never interested in anything temporary. That's why I've been building so long for the other project that got fucked up because of somebody else.

• 1:18:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:56Speaker 01

  And you know that I didn't want disappointment, abandonment, or any of that. We could turn Dumb Blonde into a podcast. We could have turned Dumb Blonde into so many things that didn't necessarily require her to be on tour. If her husband needed her home or whatever it was.

• 1:19:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you could have definitely capitalized on all of that.

• 1:19:14Speaker 01

  A lot of it. I, I think it was, so for me, I never really got to say like, um, you don't get to give up. This is a partnership and you don't get to just decide that you don't like it anymore. I've built, spent years of building a brand with you.

• 1:19:30Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:32Speaker 01

  But, you know, I mean, I could have done Dumb Blonde with somebody else that's is still at it and still competitive in the market like me. Yeah, there was a ton of girls I know that would have done it with me. And I could still be releasing music and doing that project. I don't really like being a solo artist. It's not fun on tour alone.

• 1:19:49Bunnie XO?

  You're like a, you like, uh, you like to run in a wolf pack.

• 1:19:52Speaker 01

  I'm a, I'm an only child that doesn't have stable, healthy parents or parenting.

• 1:20:00Bunnie XO?

  It's almost like you want that family.

• 1:20:02Speaker 01

  Friendship.

• 1:20:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, that family, that friendship around you.

• 1:20:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I want friendship and friendship requires loyalty, something I never saw to the, the last person that came into my life on this crazy back of this horrible man that's being exposed now, like, we came back into each other's lives on the phone at night for hours. I, I literally told her, we need to, we need to just start recording our phone calls and put them on YouTube. It's more entertaining than half the shit I see anymore.

• 1:20:32Bunnie XO?

  You can't make people want to, you know, do.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  No, I mean, a little business deal changed all of that and, and I just, I. I just got disappointed by Danity Kane for the last time. I just really, I have a slight interest in protecting the legacy, but frankly, like, every time I'm asked, it's kind of routine that anyone that's kind of still relevant that gets asked questions in the media says, I'll always come back to Danity Kane. There's only two of us left. They are still like taking bigger inter- I think probably just me, but my other bandmate still does like a little independent thing.

• 1:21:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:12Speaker 01

  She gets interviewed sometimes, but like it's always the move to just say, you never know, and I'll always come back. But that's cute to say, but are you bringing it all back and taking responsibility of everyone's feelings and desires and needs of all the girls? Cause that's what I did every time. I didn't just say, oh, I'll come back if everybody wants to. I made it happen. I brought the opportunities. I brought my agents and makeup artists and-

• 1:21:39Bunnie XO?

  That's the hustler in you though. You can't make people hustle, baby. I've tried. I've tried to do that with all my friends.

• 1:21:46Speaker 01

  She just never hustled for-

• 1:21:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:48Speaker 01

  She, you know, you can attach yourself to it all you want, but are you making it happen?

• 1:21:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:52Speaker 01

  Never.

• 1:21:53Bunnie XO?

  Well, moving on from dumb blonde and the whole Danity Kane situation.

• 1:21:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's a rough one.

• 1:21:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. And there's so much more.

• 1:22:01Speaker 01

  It's still a little fresh, the last piece.

• 1:22:02Bunnie XO?

  No, for sure. And there's so much more. And if you guys want to know more about the whole Danity Kane situation, she's done other interviews. You can go Google and go listen to it. But I just feel like you have lived so many fucking lives. It's been crazy. So moving on, you go on The Apprentice.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:19Bunnie XO?

  And is this how you met Don Jr. Obviously?

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:23Bunnie XO?

  Tell me about the first time you saw Don Jr.

• 1:22:25Speaker 01

  God, I don't remember like the first time. I mean, it would have been during filming or prior to maybe during a-

• 1:22:32Bunnie XO?

  It wasn't like butterflies fucking flew out from his asshole or anything like that. It wasn't like an iconic moment that you can remember. Cause I know, I remember the first time I met my husband. I remember, you know, and I know that you-

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  And that's why he's your husband, bitch.

• 1:22:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, literally. But I know that you and Don have said to each other that you guys were soulmates and stuff like that.

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  I'll explain it. I'm not attracted to physical- Things.

• 1:22:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:55Speaker 01

  I love visuals, like as much as I love visuals.

• 1:22:58Bunnie XO?

  Well, you like Luke Bryan, so I mean.

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  But I liked him because he gave dad, he gave loyal, he gave like brave and strong, but the lyrics were sensitive and vulnerable.

• 1:23:08Bunnie XO?

  No, I love it.

• 1:23:09Speaker 01

  It was like, it was the attributes. It wasn't like, I can't really tell you what he looks like. I just remember watching him thinking like, that is a husband.

• 1:23:16Bunnie XO?

  Oh, wait till you see Luke Bryan get his little hip gyration on stage. You're gonna love it.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  I mean, it was years ago, but I just remembered his name from that.

• 1:23:22Bunnie XO?

  I can't wait for you guys to meet each other tonight.

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  I'm so thankful, thank you. No, so, so I don't remember. I think we met each other during, we did like big press and photo shoots and stuff before the competition started. I think we, I remember us talking then. I think the first time I saw him, so for me, that means you impressed me with your mind, was something I remember like a witty little smart ass comment he made during the boardrooms and no one in the room catching it except us and we both chuckled and then looked at each other. And then we just never stopped. They literally like fun facts that no one knows and they just did a whole book. I read it on the plane ride here laughing like how Mark Burnett and Trump took over the world, which actually it's not false. That writer is very

• 1:24:09Speaker 01

  accurate in that because they did create the reputation that made the world feel like they were in the right hands with him. Like there are funny stories about like at the beginning of Celebrity Apprentice, when they first started up, the production company went in and the Trump towers were like old wallpapers stale and they had to like redesign the whole shit and make it look like it was money.

• 1:24:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:35Speaker 01

  The helicopter, the gold, all of it that makes it look like it's all his flying in on his jet that says Trump. All of that was production. I've had producers literally at dinners tell me have grief over feeling responsible for having created the persona behind a person that they now don't stand behind that's running the country. And I sat there and I thought to myself. Well, more producers need to start feeling that fucking grief because these producers out here with reality TV stars, especially with how many there are now. They're they are not treated right. Reality TV stars, I mean, we're seeing a lot of it with Bravo and a lot of things that are coming out with people speaking out about things.

• 1:25:14Bunnie XO?

  Reality TV, I never got into it. I have had so many opportunities to do reality shows and the settings and the environments in them were never for me. I nev- I don't-

• 1:25:24Speaker 01

  There aren't very many people that are taking responsibility over being over understanding that we're all humans and we're not animals that are there for your enjoyment.

• 1:25:34Bunnie XO?

  Literally. They just manufacture.

• 1:25:36Speaker 01

  It's it's very like I a lot, it wasn't as much in the beginning. I mean, I had a producer from making the band at her wedding pull me in the bathroom and say to me, I still know like the one time in my career where I really compromised myself was I had to go in and pull you out of a bathroom stall. You were hiding behind the fucking toilet crying in a ball on the floor. And I had to pick you up and put you back in a room where I knew you were gonna get attacked by Diddy again and against all my best judgment, did I want to do that, but I had to. My bosses were telling me to go get you and she was the person I trusted on that set, the only one that could have got me to go back into that room.

• 1:26:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:20Speaker 01

  And she apologizes to this day for that multiple times now.

• 1:26:23Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  So so like I I do I did see more responsibility then. There are responsible producers. I'm still making television with some people that are responsible.

• 1:26:33Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  But there's there are so many shows I did for a couple of years. I didn't even watch them because the sets were so egregious.

• 1:26:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:42Speaker 01

  Celebrity Apprentice edit was like super, that was the first time I really saw flagrant edits, like they have an episode where Arsenio Hall's leading. And he literally got a paper cut, I think, in the first two minutes and left the set for the whole day. And I took over and won him his challenge. And then like the whole episode makes it look like he's present the whole time. And then someone asked for ideas and I gave the whole lined it up from start to finish, how we're gonna execute the whole fucking plan, my creative. And then everybody was like, thank you Aubrey, you saved the day, like, let's do this. And in the edit on TV, they show everybody looking like, oh god, here she goes again, thinking she knows it all. And I was like, okay, y'all are fucked up for that edit.

• 1:27:26Bunnie XO?

  It's just how controlled TV is, it's wild.

• 1:27:29Speaker 01

  That one was the first one I saw, like, oh, there's people with real money that run real shit behind this show, cuz they just took a whole ass scene and made it something, they made a, this is, I'm watching scripted now.

• 1:27:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:41Speaker 01

  This is not giving the reality of what happened in that room that day.

• 1:27:44Bunnie XO?

  So let's circle back to you and Don Jr. When was the first time that you and Don Jr. were intimate?

• 1:27:50Speaker 01

  Um, it was the night, this is a very controversial topic because for a long time, the pressure on us was the franchise. Like, I was told at certain points that edits were being sent over in the ninth inning to NBC being re-edited at Mark Burnett, and this is allegedly because Mark Burnett didn't tell me this, but I, who I heard it from was pretty, uh, reliable. Um, they were editing clips in the ninth inning because in boardrooms, they always show Ivanka, Trump, and Don staring forward, looking at the, like, the cameras, and then

• 1:28:33Speaker 01

  they show the cast staring forward and looking straight ahead, and they get those shots all the time. And in every single one of the shots, as the relationship started to be understood on the back end, and the show's airing, and everybody's like aware of the problem for the franchise, like, they were going in and tightly re-editing all the boardrooms because they said in most of the shots where everyone's looking forward, Don is looking at me and I'm looking at him, and we're the only two whose heads are off. And it was like visibly present in the edits, and they were going back in and chopping shit down, and so it could not be noticeable.

• 1:29:12Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  Which, I, I don't, I don't remember if I even watched the show, or if it was noticeable or not. It was the night, the finale of Celebrity Apprentice. Um, I remember like Dawn called the hotel room. I was with my assistant. He asked me, it was down to a couple of us. He called me, this is some fucking shit I'm about to say, but fuck it in the, in.

• 1:29:35Bunnie XO?

  What a place to do it though.

• 1:29:37Speaker 01

  Keeping it 100 raining in Nashville. I'm dressed like a hooker. Let's go.

• 1:29:41Bunnie XO?

  Um. You look beautiful while you're spilling seeds all.

• 1:29:44Speaker 01

  Thanks babe. Um, so.

• 1:29:48Speaker 01

  My assistant was in the room. He called me at the Trump Tower. I think, I don't know if that was the first time. My assistant remembers he did it a few times. She always spent the night with me and would help me. So I was like making sure we were all dressed in the same outfits. I was doing like the extra shit when we'd get off sex. I wanted my team to always win and be the best and be color coordinated and perfect. So I'd go on Rent the Runway and rent, get everyone dresses to make sure we all were like perfect because I couldn't trust their fashion. But, so my assistant was with me and he called and he asked me, did I want, um, help being in the finals? Being the final two. Didn't want him to make it happen for me, basically. Um, and I said no.

• 1:30:33Speaker 01

  And that I, I think then we kind of established like.

• 1:30:41Speaker 01

  We had talked a good amount at that point, enough to understand. He was like writing me on Twitter. There, there were ways we were finding time to communicate with each other. And I think at that time he realized, oh, she's not just using me to win this competition. She likes me.

• 1:30:57Bunnie XO?

  So he was like testing the waters to see.

• 1:30:59Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 1:31:01Speaker 01

  I also should have won it and whoever won could have potentially had a must win in their contract because they had a big talk show that dropped right after that came back to NBC, but who knows? That's just allegedly. But I, if he could have potentially put me in the top two. Um, I said, no, I want to do it on my own merit. And if I don't, then I don't care. I'm the last female standing. I felt far, I, I was used to winning would be the first show I did that I didn't win.

• 1:31:32Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:33Speaker 01

  But I was so like falling in love with him so deeply at that point. And

• 1:31:40Bunnie XO?

  Falling in love just by the conversations or just by working together? Was there stuff going on behind the scenes? Did you guys go on dates? Was there secret Ron Davis?

• 1:31:49Speaker 01

  No, no, you can't, you're locked down.

• 1:31:51Bunnie XO?

  I was gonna say, how does?

• 1:31:52Speaker 01

  Down, but that show films for like, it airs for like two months. That back, that was the longest show I've ever filmed and aired on, on television. It's a, a hefty show if you make it to the end. You're doing, it feels like centuries go by. I suppose it, it isn't centuries, but

• 1:32:09Bunnie XO?

  In Hollywood.

• 1:32:10Speaker 01

  You're working for huge companies, every episode, building movies and commercial. I mean, it's a real fucking competition show. Best show I've ever done, frankly, the edit was fucking garbage. Mark Burnett should like seriously have regrets over some of those flagrant edits that he threw on me, but um, or whoever did over there. But um, I, I told Don, no. And I think there was a conversation like, this is serious, isn't it? Yeah. And then we did the finale. I, we all come back for the finale to raise, get, see who wins it by giving,

• 1:32:51Speaker 01

  helping a team, being picked for one team or another, throwing a big event. So Clay Aiken and I are saying during it. He was standing next to daddy. I was singing like, um,

• 1:33:02Bunnie XO?

  Daddy, Daddy Donald.

• 1:33:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:33:07Speaker 01

  Uh, I Will Survive by Donna Summers.

• 1:33:09Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:10Speaker 01

  That's the song Clay had me sing. Um, I sang it like to Donald's face and whatever. And then after I was, I think I was hosting or was getting paid to go to a gay club. Um, and at the time, like, everyone came back and Marco, trying to think the son, Marco's the son, Andretti, was, uh, supposed to be in it, but there was this horrible crash in his world and then like one of his very good friends passed in it.

• 1:33:38Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:33:39Speaker 01

  And so he dropped out last minute and his dad took his spot and I liked his dad during filming. He came back to the finale and he kinda had a crush on me. So he's like-

• 1:33:48Bunnie XO?

  Dad did?

• 1:33:49Speaker 01

  No, the son did. Marco. So he, so he like came to the, he's like, can I come like, meet up with you? I don't know, bitch. I was on, I was on my shit at that point in time because I had Marco Andretti and Don Trump Jr. here and here. My assistant and my gay, uh, best friend who was my hairstylist and in on all this shit because, for all kinds of reasons, but he styled me during Apprentice. You weren't allowed to have your own teams, but I had it in my contract, but because-

• 1:34:16Bunnie XO?

  That's how, that's how I would move.

• 1:34:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. But he was able to hear everything that was said in the boardrooms when they would take us out because he was watching the monitors with the rest of the hair and makeup who don't have personal relationships with anyone.

• 1:34:29Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:34:29Speaker 01

  So I got to learn a lot about what was being said about me behind closed doors, which I shouldn't have been getting access to, but I did.

• 1:34:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:36Speaker 01

  So I knew things that they were saying, fights that they were having, Trump didn't feel I was pretty. Ivanka was fighting for me, saying like, you can't keep like putting Miss Universe over somebody that's smarter.

• 1:34:49Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:34:49Speaker 01

  Like, this needs to be a real, like, she's smart. Like, she was taken up for me.

• 1:34:53Bunnie XO?

  Ivanka seems to me to be, to be like a stand-up woman.

• 1:34:57Speaker 01

  I can't get into that. I can't. So that's, I, I can't cosign that, that statement. Um, based off of Don's portrayal of things, but, um, but anyways, so, um, I went to a gay club and Mar- Marco Andretti and Donald Trump Jr., he showed up. I couldn't believe it. He showed up to a gay club. Everybody was gagged. My whole team was looking at me like, bitch, we have seen you move, but this is real. You're, you're fucking moving real serious right now. And at that time, maybe it wasn't so crazy that- Nowadays, I mean, when I said that on a podcast, it went viral that Dawn and I were in a gay club the first time we had sex.

• 1:35:41Speaker 01

  Um, but like, I remember going back and forth between Dawn and Marco and just like Marco got dropped out pretty fast. Someone clutched in, kept him busy. Dawn and I were like locked in, locked in, like it was in the every touch, every stare, every word. It was like-

• 1:36:03Bunnie XO?

  He's a handsome guy and I don't like square dudes, but he's pretty, he's a handsome dude. He's got a little swag.

• 1:36:09Speaker 01

  I don't even, it's, yeah, I was attracted to him. I don't know if his visual is like necessarily attractive to people or not. I don't know.

• 1:36:18Bunnie XO?

  Um, but- He's got swag. You know, Donald Trump has swag too. They just, there's a reason why they're politicians. They're not, you know, they're not just-

• 1:36:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:28Bunnie XO?

  Fuddy duddies. They obviously ha- have a, a mouthpiece on him and know how to have a conversation and how to persuade and how to talk. So I could see where the allure would be.

• 1:36:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I never saw it in dad as much, but-

• 1:36:40Bunnie XO?

  She's like, not dad.

• 1:36:43Speaker 01

  But Dawn is def- def- Dawn is clever and witty and very smart and every conversation was interesting and every conversation was a challenge and a, a brain challenge. Who can outsmart the other and how much more do they know than the other? It was so fun for me. I was so stimulated on every level.

• 1:37:06Bunnie XO?

  That's your sapiosexual. You like to be stimulated by it through your mind, which I mean, every, a lot of women do.

• 1:37:12Speaker 01

  Which is why I know so much of his life right now likely is fraudulent, in my opinion, allegedly, because it just doesn't fit who I know him to be unless other people aren't who they are showing themselves to be. I don't know, but, um-

• 1:37:25Bunnie XO?

  So did you guys end up having sex in the gay club?

• 1:37:28Speaker 01

  Long story.

• 1:37:29Bunnie XO?

  I'm like, I'm like, I'm invested now.

• 1:37:31Speaker 01

  So I told my, Dawn and I, I don't know if we planned on, I think we wanted to make out for sure. We didn't want anyone seeing us and I told my- My hairstylist, who was like, knew all the people at the club in New York and was coming to the gig with me. So we went, I remember, he brought me over to the bathroom with Dawn and there was like this big ass black guy outside of the bathroom. He was like, "No one's coming in, like this is for whatever." And he was like, "Listen, this is this and this." He's like, "I don't care, dog." And there was like a little bit of a dispute. And I think either he had to kiss him, or I, somebody ki- I had to kiss him. Somehow, something with the bodyguard happened in order to get me and Dawn into this fucking bathroom.

• 1:38:14Speaker 01

  I'd have to like go back and ask all them what happened that night.

• 1:38:17Bunnie XO?

  So your hairdresser had to kiss?

• 1:38:19Speaker 01

  No, I don't, I, maybe it was me.

• 1:38:20Bunnie XO?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:38:21Speaker 01

  Something got worked out that was wild. But he let us in this bathroom that was like thi- this big.

• 1:38:27Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:27Speaker 01

  There was like a full-blown like chase in the bathroom and all kinds of shit.

• 1:38:32Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:38:33Speaker 01

  We definitely didn't think we were gonna hook up. I wasn't, I didn't know any of it was gonna happen because the whole like joke in our relationship started at that night, which was, we started making out, we started to have, we were trying to have sex, trying because I was still in my dress from the finale and that dress was tight as fuck, like a all diamonds gold dress. And it took forever to get the fucking dress unzipped. And once it unzipped, I had the most, the craziest spanx you've ever fucking seen on, bitch. Like, they didn't even have the hole in the crotch or anything. They were like, all the way up to here, down to here. So he had to like-

• 1:39:12Bunnie XO?

  So sexy.

• 1:39:13Speaker 01

  You know how your girlfriend has to like get you out of a fucking spanx moment? How it's, you would never do that if you were going on a date. You'd never do it with a dude. They have to like, get it down past your fat rolls in order to get into you.

• 1:39:27Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:28Speaker 01

  He did all that. And so he-

• 1:39:29Bunnie XO?

  He worked for the pussy.

• 1:39:31Speaker 01

  He, he got those spanx all the way down.

• 1:39:36Speaker 01

  And we had sex and I remember like he would call me like spanky after that like we would just joke about like the how we had the most ridiculous sex in a middle of a gay club.

• 1:39:47Bunnie XO?

  So you go home that night, what do you say to yourself? You're like, I just had sex with Donald Trump Jr. In a gay club bathroom after making out with the fucking.

• 1:39:56Speaker 01

  I think it was me that made out with the bodyguard.

• 1:39:57Bunnie XO?

  The bodyguard. Would you, in your mind, are you like, I'm gonna pursue this, I want to be with this man? Or did you think of it as more of like a flash in the pan?

• 1:40:06Speaker 01

  I don't remember. I'd have to ask my assistant. She has like stellar memory of all these things. Half the time she reminds me of these, of what, because she was with me in the hotel room at every stage of this. Um, she would have been there that night as well. I probably talked to her the whole night about it. I don't know. I remember like shortly after, maybe I still had to do some like final things, like photographs or takes or something like that at the, after we were wrapped. But I was probably in the Trump Hotel for maybe like a few days after. Um, and I remember he called me, um, and we had like

• 1:40:44Speaker 01

  a serious talk about, does this continue? Um, and I was just like, I just feel like you're my soulmate. Like I, I didn't say the word soulmate. He said it first to me. But I, I said, I just feel like I can't stop this. And he's like, I feel that too.

• 1:41:03Bunnie XO?

  I mean, did you guys talk about his wife at all?

• 1:41:05Speaker 01

  I, so I know this was like a long conversation. I don't honestly remember all the details, but I do remember me saying something like, like, we, we just seem to be like so aligned in every way, like made for each other, like perfect for each other. And he said like, um, is the perfectly made man for you married?

• 1:41:31Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:41:33Speaker 01

  Um, and I said, I don't, I don't know. I need to understand that better. So I think it probably in the very beginning might have been like, sorry.

• 1:41:49Speaker 01

  A lot of conversations about what their marriage looks like.

• 1:41:54Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:41:55Speaker 01

  I heard enough without being disrespectful to her. Um, I heard enough to have at the time felt like they had an understanding.

• 1:42:07Bunnie XO?

  Kind of like an open marriage.

• 1:42:11Bunnie XO?

  On his end, I'm sure.

• 1:42:12Speaker 01

  I don't know about. I know he had, he told me he had cheated before. I don't know if she had caught him. But he had only physically cheated. He had never like mentally fallen in love with any of the girls. I think there were like two people. Before me, but um, he um, he explained it in a way and I was naive enough. This, what, it changed for me and I said this on Michael Cohen's po- podcast, but it changed for me after I saw my best friend give birth years later. Um, when I saw a child come out of her, first time I've ever seen that. I realized what a woman does for a man to, when they have a child for them.

• 1:42:56Speaker 01

  And that put a lot of grief on me for a while over. How naive I was to think that all of this was okay with her. I don't know that it was as okay as maybe I thought it was, or he described it as. He said enough to me about their relationship that made me feel very comfortable knowing that. As he's living there and I'm on the phone with him all day and all the way up, we had. Talked all day long until tree time. We called it tree time. He'd walk home. From Trump to his house and that was like our time to like climb up in our tree and like be best friends and lovers.

• 1:43:38Speaker 01

  Until he went into his life and I'd have to wait till the morning for, to have my best friend back.

• 1:43:45Bunnie XO?

  Hmm. Do you miss him?

• 1:43:51Speaker 01

  I don't remember him.

• 1:43:56Speaker 01

  Unless I'm asked to talk about it and then like we had a final conversation and it was recorded. Um. And I listened back to it when I was doing all of my psychedelics and he alternative healing Bali or any other place I went where psychedelics are legal.

• 1:44:21Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:44:21Speaker 01

  Cause I would never do anything illegal in a place where things are illegal. But um, when I was going through my healing stages. I listened to it for the first time, like all of it back. And.

• 1:44:39Speaker 01

  You know, when everyone's, when daddy came to be president and everyone started to come forward and they all kind of had the same nickname and you saw what a problem it was and how many girls had the same experiences. I was like, oh my God, like that's what I was for the sun. I like would identify with Stormy Daniels, who by the way, is actually like witty and very interesting. I'm friendly with her and I like her a lot. So I wouldn't, I wouldn't mind the, the, the comparison. She's very, she's smart. She's very interesting. I feel like, I feel like. On Twitter, I love her.

• 1:45:15Bunnie XO?

  I feel like the Trumps secretly love blondes, but Mary brunettes.

• 1:45:18Speaker 01

  Oh, do I miss him?

• 1:45:19Bunnie XO?

  The.

• 1:45:19Speaker 01

  I, I can't say.

• 1:45:20Bunnie XO?

  The phone call. What, what was that?

• 1:45:23Speaker 01

  The phone call. I like, so I was doing PTSD shrooming and I would take like very large doses of shrooms. It wasn't like, uh, date, how people.

• 1:45:32Bunnie XO?

  Micro.

• 1:45:33Speaker 01

  Microdose. It was like, I had never done them before and I was taking like 12 grams or something. Most people take like two or three.

• 1:45:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. You're a fucking brave soul. That's a lot. People don't realize that's a lot to DMT, mushrooms, all that shit.

• 1:45:48Speaker 01

  None of that happened under, under the title of bravery. I would, if I were, if I were wearing a mask, I would tell you that. But it, I didn't care about living anymore. So maybe I could find a reason or a purpose or an understanding that I didn't have if I tried to go to a different realm. None of it was ever done to get high or party. It was all done in like facilities with therapists and people guiding me. And I'd have to like, you know, drop down into the highs with like cacao ceremonies and breath work. And then I had to like write lists of intentions of like, anything I think that could be traumatizing me in my life. Mom was a big one, I thought. When she started to cover my mom, when I was dropped down under, because she would record the sessions

• 1:46:33Speaker 01

  or diary them, I have all of it.

• 1:46:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:37Speaker 01

  I look back on it and um, she brought up like some really heavy stuff that I thought was living inside me about my mom. Like when I first arrived, I saw a girl um, having an experience with shrooms. And she was crawling on like grass, clutching it and saying she wanted to fucking be like let out of her body. And I looked at it and I was like, oh, fuck this shit. And then I like turned around and I was like, bitch, you, what are you gonna do? Go home and not want to live another day? You, you gotta push yourself. Now it's time to figure out if we, we take some pills and go sleeping night nights. Like that's where I was at with it.

• 1:47:18Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:19Speaker 01

  I had them ready. So I, I saw the girl clutching the grass and I was like, that's gonna be me the second she brings up my mom. She brought up my mom, she brought up some very severe memories. And I just had one tear, it's documented, one tear ran down my face. And she said, tell me what that tear is. And I said, I'm so sad for my mom because I ended up being so neat. I ended up being such a neat kid who...

• 1:47:52Speaker 01

  Like, became super like, I heal, I went and got healing. I was uh, on a Adderall, Ambien, cocktail life for twenty years.

• 1:48:05Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:48:05Speaker 01

  I went and left the country and seeked healing, got off of pills, and learned about my pain and my trauma, and I dealt with every hor- horrible thing that was living inside of me. And I let go of being Aubrey O'Day and everything that meant.

• 1:48:25Bunnie XO?

  So ego death?

• 1:48:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I murdered that person off. And like, I'm pretty neat when I'm not her, the, the one that the world knows.

• 1:48:36Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:48:36Speaker 01

  And I did it all by myself with no help. And I didn't even know where, what Bali was, or where I was going, or what the, I was, I went into Bali as it became a red zone during COVID and every, red zones where everyone was dying, right, on the map?

• 1:48:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:53Speaker 01

  I never saw one person have COVID the entire time I was there. But either way, I was like, um, what the fuck am I doing every day? What the fuck am I doing? Like, I just had no will to live anymore. I was, I was done.

• 1:49:06Bunnie XO?

  Well, I mean, you went through a lot. How long were you with Donald for? Don Jr.?

• 1:49:11Speaker 01

  A long time.

• 1:49:12Bunnie XO?

  Like, years?

• 1:49:14Speaker 01

  A long time.

• 1:49:15Bunnie XO?

  I mean, that's gotta be heavy. Cause you gotta think, all this trauma that you're suffering, you went through the childhood, you went through Danity Kane, you went through Don Jr., you went through, you know, Travis Garland.

• 1:49:25Speaker 01

  Back to back. When I first met Travis, I just always dreamt, like, I saw you say this in an interview, I wanna fucking marry a rock star. Like, I wanted to be with a man that sung me to sleep, that had this fucking voice better than anyone, and it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes and hot, and just one of the best vocalists I've like, been around in life.

• 1:49:47Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:49:48Speaker 01

  I was more famous and made way more money. He was struggling to get by and way more talented and had to feel all the things a very talented person feels when they see somebody else getting everything they want. So, he had to love me and also be a bit jealous of me too. And it didn't work.

• 1:50:07Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, jealousy never works in a relationship.

• 1:50:09Speaker 01

  Then I was attracted to a guy who was, you know, three years with Travis. The singing was like, can you shut the fuck up? It wasn't like I can die in a ditch and be broke with you. If you just sing to me, it'll be okay that all the mucus that everyone just put in their fucking toilets is dripping down me in the sewer. No. After three years of that, I realized I need a man that actually is going to be where they say they're going to be in three years. His was a millionaire and Justin Bieber every year and it just never happened. And while all that was occurring, we were living in my house on my dime. It was like, you don't want to pay for everything and then fuck your man after you paid for everything on vacation. It's like,

• 1:50:55Speaker 01

  you can come on vacation with me, but if I don't want to fuck, go to your side and leave me alone.

• 1:51:00Bunnie XO?

  Right. Well, it's a, it's a,

• 1:51:02Speaker 01

  It's hard.

• 1:51:03Bunnie XO?

  Unbalance of power too in the relationship.

• 1:51:05Speaker 01

  And that, I'm sure that that hurt him. He was more talented than me and, and I'm not saying I'm not talented. I'm not putting myself down when I say that. However, I can recognize the truth. Travis was far more talented than me as a singer.

• 1:51:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:19Speaker 01

  Not as a star, but as a singer, he was. And he did so much to inspire dumb blonde. Me taking myself seriously. I mean, he came in my house and was like, first thing, let me look at your wardrobe, open my closet and was like, you were taking everything with color out. He taught me how to dress Kanye colors, beige tones, brown tones, black tones. Filter my shit right. Like he kind of started me on a cool vibe.

• 1:51:52Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:51:52Speaker 01

  I just realized in three years, every time I saw, used to see him three years prior, going like this on Instagram in a photo, thinking, oh my God, he's so fine. I was the one taking those and it took three hours to get that pose and he did it 50 times and it really wasn't that fucking sexy.

• 1:52:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:08Speaker 01

  You just.

• 1:52:09Bunnie XO?

  Well, the, what happened is the allure and the mystique behind it comes off. I, trust me, there's been a few musicians that I've been like, oh my God, he is so fine. And then I meet him in person and I'm like, nope.

• 1:52:20Speaker 01

  And if you met Travis in person, you'd be totally attracted to him. He's such a charming winner in person, but.

• 1:52:26Bunnie XO?

  I like men that wear makeup. That's my thing.

• 1:52:29Speaker 01

  I'm trying to think if he wears makeup.

• 1:52:32Bunnie XO?

  I don't really even know.

• 1:52:35Speaker 01

  I don't know what he does.

• 1:52:36Bunnie XO?

  I don't know who Travis Garland is. I just know that you've dated him.

• 1:52:38Speaker 01

  Well, you should check out his music. He's incredible. He's an incredible singer. He's married now. I think he's got kids from what I hear.

• 1:52:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:44Speaker 01

  But um, but no, he was, he was very inspiring in a time and a place, but he wasn't right for me. I, I hated leaving the relationship. I was sick. I held on to that with all my fucking might. And when it was let go of, I went straight to TV and the first guy that sat in front of me was Polly and it was out of that into this like that. And that was back to back Don Jr., Travis, Polly, like it all was back to back, very long relationships, all of them. So then after Polly, I, I was so down bad. I, I didn't have sex for. I didn't have sex for a year after Polly and then I went to Bali during COVID. I didn't have sex for like

• 1:53:28Speaker 01

  two and a half years, two and a half, three years. During Bali, somebody asked me that and they were like, are you fucking serious? And I was like, is that weird?

• 1:53:37Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 1:53:37Speaker 01

  I've just been out here healing, living. I, I'm not really attracted to anyone. I don't feel the need to like have somebody text messaging. I used to have 10 guys on ready.

• 1:53:48Bunnie XO?

  It gets exhausting.

• 1:53:49Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't need anyone.

• 1:53:51Bunnie XO?

  My husband and I were talking about that last night. We were laying in bed and we were watching this uh, series and in the series, these, it's like almost 50 year old couple is like, they're going on their first date together and I looked at, and they were like telling each other everything about each other's lives. And I looked over to Jay and I was like, babe, I love you, but we are riding this motherfucker out. And we like dapped because I was like.

• 1:54:11Speaker 01

  I'm not doing that shit.

• 1:54:12Bunnie XO?

  No, and he, he agreed. He's like, man, I can't. He's like, I'm cringing right now thinking about having to tell somebody my whole life story. I'm like, there's no way. And sometimes you just don't want to fucking do that, you know? And that's okay.

• 1:54:23Speaker 01

  I, listen, I feel that so deeply. I. I'm like, because I adore you, I'm so happy that you have that. I wish I did.

• 1:54:33Bunnie XO?

  Thank you. It's been a lot of work, you know, and I try to always keep it real with everybody like Jay and I are fucking amazing now and it has been smooth sailing for us so far, you know, this, this end of our relationship, but man, in the beginning, it was rough. It was toxic. He was a struggling musician too, despite some people always want to be like, oh, Jay, Jay was famous, Jay, you know, everybody knew who Jay was. No, the fuck they didn't. Nobody knew who my husband was unless she lived in Kentucky, fucking Ohio, Indiana and Tennessee. That was it. Like when I first got with him, he was a struggling artist too, and I was making a shit ton of money in the beginning, you know, so it, you know, it, it was very rough. We had a very rough beginning.

• 1:55:12Speaker 01

  How quickly did he become famous within you getting with him?

• 1:55:16Bunnie XO?

  Well, you know, I married a rapper, right?

• 1:55:18Speaker 01

  I heard you say that, but then I, I know Jelly raps sometimes. So I was thinking, is she considering him a rapper?

• 1:55:22Bunnie XO?

  No, he was, he is a rapper. My husband is a rapper.

• 1:55:25Speaker 01

  No, I know he raps. That's what I thought you were talking about. So you married a different rapper?

• 1:55:28Bunnie XO?

  No, no, no. My husband.

• 1:55:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. No, I know he's rapping. Yeah. I heard you say that and I was like, is she meaning like a thug, like a rapper rapper? But I guess I was like, Jelly raps.

• 1:55:38Bunnie XO?

  He is a rapper. His entire discography, is that what they call it?

• 1:55:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:42Bunnie XO?

  Until they, until you get up until the two fucking country albums that he's, well, the second one, he's about to drop the first one. That's, he's, his entire fucking catalog is rapping.

• 1:55:52Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 1:55:52Bunnie XO?

  He's a great rapper.

• 1:55:53Speaker 01

  You guys are like such a atypical understanding for the country world that to me, when I looked into your guys' story, I just fell in love with it.

• 1:56:01Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 1:56:01Speaker 01

  Because it felt like I wanted to come visit this area, because music is my life.

• 1:56:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:09Speaker 01

  I wanted to come visit this area, but it just felt a little too,

• 1:56:14Speaker 01

  I wouldn't be, I couldn't take this person to every room I roll, roll through. Like I couldn't bring this person around the thugs and,

• 1:56:21Bunnie XO?

  Ah.

• 1:56:21Speaker 01

  But Jelly's like, you could bring, he was a thug.

• 1:56:24Bunnie XO?

  He's, he's invited to the cookout. Okay? He's definitely invited to the cookout.

• 1:56:29Speaker 01

  Take him anywhere.

• 1:56:30Bunnie XO?

  No, and anyway, I was more bougie than he was. Like I'm west coast, you know, I grew up in Vegas, grew up on the streets of LA. Fucking, you know, like that was my life. So, you know, meeting him and us coming together, it was, um, it was a beautiful disaster. And I'm just thankful that it has turned out the way it did. But to answer your question, my husband dropped Save Me. He was always, he, his music was gaining traction, but it wasn't to the level that.

• 1:56:55Speaker 01

  I, I met with a guy that told, the comedian guy that did that, he showed me a video he did during COVID. See, I wasn't here, so I missed that he got, that Jelly got famous for that. I, I knew more of the serious, like, I love the lyrics, obviously. He kills on lyrics because he's vulnerable and honest about the dark days and we love that shit.

• 1:57:13Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, even his raps were like that. I'll have to send you some of his rap albums.

• 1:57:16Speaker 01

  I have to hear them.

• 1:57:17Bunnie XO?

  I love, I've heard the rapper Jelly.

• 1:57:19Speaker 01

  On like the country stuff, but I was like, I don't know if he's serious about this, because the COVID thing was more like.

• 1:57:23Bunnie XO?

  No, rapper Jelly is, is a boss.

• 1:57:25Speaker 01

  Really? Is he gonna rap tonight?

• 1:57:27Bunnie XO?

  No, no, he won't. But rapper Jelly is a boss. And I tell him all the time, I'm like, baby, bring it back just one more time.

• 1:57:33Speaker 01

  Wait, do you make him talk shit to you like that in bed before you fuck?

• 1:57:36Bunnie XO?

  My husband is so, he is the sweetest little teddy bear dude. Like, I'm the wild one and my husband's like, come cuddle with me, you know? He's just my big teddy bear. Um, but yeah, we do, when we would get drunk and, you know, have wild nights like that, I would make him do some crazy shit. But for the most, for the most part, the hubby's a sweetie pie. He didn't get really famous until the last, what, three, two and a half years? Two and a half years.

• 1:58:02Speaker 01

  So how long into, how long have you guys been together?

• 1:58:04Bunnie XO?

  Eight years.

• 1:58:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you held on longer than I could, but Travis never became anything.

• 1:58:09Bunnie XO?

  I never, my thing is, is like, I always wanted to, you know, I always say the rock star thing because my dad was a musician, you know? So I wanted to marry somebody like my dad. And I always envisioned as a little girl, like, I was gonna be Toni Kattane. And I was gonna fucking dance on somebody's fucking, you know, old school car in a music video. Like, to me, that was, that was my happy ending. You know, like, and I just knew that I was always gonna have my own shit going on. So I didn't really care what my husband had going on, as long as he was chasing his passion. And that to me was.

• 1:58:40Speaker 01

  How quickly did you fall in love with him? Because I saw an interview where you said you guys fucked right away.

• 1:58:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:44Speaker 01

  But what?

• 1:58:45Bunnie XO?

  Well, that's how I move.

• 1:58:47Speaker 01

  Well, girl, listen, I'm not fucking throwing any shade your way. I fucked on the first night ish too, after all the cameras were gone.

• 1:58:54Bunnie XO?

  The first night I met my husband, I, he is-

• 1:58:58Speaker 01

  You guys had sex, but did you love, did you fall in love with him instantly?

• 1:59:01Bunnie XO?

  No, so the first night my husband and I met, we didn't have sex. I was with somebody else. I was in a very abusive relationship and it was a nightmare. I had been with this person for like three or four years. Um, but I met Jay and when I met him, he was not my type. He was not somebody that I was into at all. I'm not his type. He likes little brunettes, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we just both had this weird, strange attraction to each other, but we-

• 1:59:25Speaker 01

  It was his swagger probably for you.

• 1:59:26Bunnie XO?

  But yeah, it was just his little southern charm. He's so cute. Um, I'll have to call, uh, so you can meet him and talk to him after this, but, um, you know, I just was so attracted to him and I didn't know what it was. And then a year, uh, about five months later, my ex ended up going to prison and his manager at the time was like one of my friends. And I was like, tell Jolly to call me, you know, give him my number. And so Jay started calling me and like, you know,

• 1:59:51Speaker 01

  Pursuing you.

• 1:59:52Bunnie XO?

  We were just kind of like feeling each other out and then he came to stay with me to record some music videos. I had a penthouse in Vegas and he came and stayed with me and my girls and, you know, we just kind of fell in love and we ended up getting married, but like right then, like a couple of days later, yeah.

• 2:00:08Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:00:08Bunnie XO?

  We got married after being together for-

• 2:00:10Speaker 01

  Oh, he was like, I'm not letting you out of my motherfucking sight.

• 2:00:13Bunnie XO?

  Thirty days, yeah.

• 2:00:14Speaker 01

  He wasn't gonna let anyone else come near you.

• 2:00:16Bunnie XO?

  You know, and actually we-

• 2:00:18Speaker 01

  Smart man.

• 2:00:18Bunnie XO?

  No, we fought about it too, cause I was like, I am not marrying you. And he's like, bitch, you're gonna marry me. And he's like, you're not gonna be doing this line of work for the rest of your life. He's like, I prob- Before we walked-

• 2:00:27Speaker 01

  What line of work was it?

• 2:00:28Bunnie XO?

  I was, uh, I was a high-priced call girl, so I made a shit ton of money, like-

• 2:00:32Speaker 01

  Okay, by the way, you know, like everyone that's real famous right now was doing that back when I was in Danity Kane, that's why I met a lot of my friends.

• 2:00:40Bunnie XO?

  Come on now, yes, for sure. I-

• 2:00:42Speaker 01

  Crazy, right?

• 2:00:42Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:00:43Speaker 01

  I was like, I was like escorting isn't what everybody, nowadays they know, cause it's just, you go to OnlyFans and you have to.

• 2:00:49Bunnie XO?

  Well, there's different levels to this shit too, you know?

• 2:00:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was like, half these bosses out here are doing, they're moving.

• 2:00:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, but I always had like side projects going on, you know, like it wasn't always just-

• 2:00:59Speaker 01

  Can you tell me about that, please? Cause I'm so curious what that life feels like. Do you, do you connect to people physically or you can detach from them? Like, cause when I have sex with someone, I see it as like a soul exchange, so like- Why I didn't have sex for like that long period of time? I was just really like, I connected my soul with someone that was so bad. And I got so unhealthy after.

• 2:01:20Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 2:01:20Speaker 01

  That I realized I cannot, I have to know your soul before your dick is in me.

• 2:01:25Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:01:26Speaker 01

  So I, I.

• 2:01:27Bunnie XO?

  Talking the, talking the mic.

• 2:01:28Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry.

• 2:01:29Bunnie XO?

  Sorry.

• 2:01:29Speaker 01

  I have friends that still escort and do that kind of stuff. And I'm like, don't you? Is it just a me thing or did, are you, how are you able to connect from allowing the transfer of energy to enter you in that profession?

• 2:01:42Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, so I was on a lot of Xanax and cocaine and I was drugged up, drinking all the time. So I never.

• 2:01:50Speaker 01

  If you knew you had to go show up somewhere, you would make sure that you were.

• 2:01:54Bunnie XO?

  So I worked, yeah, and I, in my mind, I was working sober because I wasn't sloshed, but I was always under the substance of something, you know? And when you're that low vibrational, you're not thinking about exchanging souls, you're thinking about surviving. And that's where I was, you know? Like I had came from such a long line of trauma and just been through so much shit that to me, it was like, oh, I'm just, I'm gonna. The way I looked at it was like, I'm gonna take this motherfuckers money, you know? And that's where.

• 2:02:20Speaker 01

  That's how they all, everybody in my company looks at it like that.

• 2:02:22Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:23Speaker 01

  Literally, that's how, I'm like, the, the, the transactional element of sex, like the transactional, like money, sex, business of it. I'm watching play out in front of my eyes, kind of in front of the world. I see, I know a lot of girls like, and I don't, I'm, I like all of them.

• 2:02:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:40Speaker 01

  And I, and I try to think like, how does it feel? What does it feel like? Like, I try to understand just.

• 2:02:44Bunnie XO?

  It's, it's powerful for some and for some it, it.

• 2:02:47Speaker 01

  It's like how you felt, like vibrationally.

• 2:02:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I was molested as a child. So my thing was, I didn't, I hated men. And it was like, if you're gonna cheat on your wife, then you deserve to pay me. If you wanna touch me, you have to pay me.

• 2:02:59Speaker 01

  I've heard that a lot.

• 2:03:00Bunnie XO?

  You know, so it, but for every girl, it's different. I don't, um. I don't glamorize the lifestyle because you know, my situation was completely different. I knew my worth and I demanded my worth. One of my sugar daddies was Donald Trump, one of Donald Trump's best friends. And he was a asshole and every bit of money that he gave me.

• 2:03:21Speaker 01

  You took.

• 2:03:21Bunnie XO?

  I fucking deserved. Yeah, literally because he fucking was so mean to me like, you know, it's not.

• 2:03:28Speaker 01

  Explain that to me if you don't, if, and if I'm, if that, I'm being too intrusive, just tell me.

• 2:03:32Bunnie XO?

  Girl, I'm an open book.

• 2:03:33Speaker 01

  Okay, can you tell me like, what is it, what happened, like with someone like him, he said he was not cool? Um, I can picture it if it were a cool exchange. What does a not cool exchange look like? Like you walk in and they make you do something weird immediately or like?

• 2:03:47Bunnie XO?

  He would tell me, so I even, I have him on video. Like I have these videos that if I ever wanted to, I could release them, but I would never do that. Um, he would tell me, you're fucking, you're fat. You need to get your body redone.

• 2:04:00Speaker 01

  Then why was he paying so much to have you there?

• 2:04:02Bunnie XO?

  But me being the strong person I am, I'd be like, okay, well then, uh, pay to get my body done. And he'd be like, okay. And so we'd get fucked up or whatever. And the next day I'd go to the fucking surgeon and be like, okay, so I need thirty five thousand to get my, you know, this, this and this done. Like he would pick you, pick me apart. He would be like, what are you doing with your life? You're a fucking hooker. You know, like just talk shit and just be emotionally abusive.

• 2:04:25Speaker 01

  He must be, he must be shit on all day to be a man that needs to find a woman to take it out on after hours.

• 2:04:33Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:33Speaker 01

  He, you, you, you have to, um, cause I.

• 2:04:36Bunnie XO?

  But a lot of women, that would break them down.

• 2:04:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:04:38Bunnie XO?

  He just didn't realize.

• 2:04:39Speaker 01

  Breaking me down here and that someone even said that to you, seeing how beautiful you are and your worth. And I just rolled up to a fucking multimillion dollar home and the fucking, I, I really wanna love Nashville, but this rain's killing me. But if I could have seen the thunder and fucking thunderstorms during the middle of fucking summer. I was like, this is summer in Nashville. I don't know if I can live here now. I could barely see through the window, but.

• 2:05:00Bunnie XO?

  It's not like this all the time.

• 2:05:01Speaker 01

  Okay. Cause he was like, this is how it is in summer. I'm like, this is summer. Who wants to live like this?

• 2:05:06Bunnie XO?

  No, no, no, no. I would go crazy. This is like Seattle if it rained like this all the fucking time.

• 2:05:10Speaker 01

  I was like, this is summer. I'm, I was like shocked when the, and the, the, the thunder and the lightning is like intense. But, um, but I just rolled up to a very wealthy area and beautiful home. So to me, I'm, I look at you as such. I know you're a boss bitch and you're worth just physically without even knowing you. So to me, it hurts me to hear that someone even spoke to you like that in life.

• 2:05:31Bunnie XO?

  But to me, like, it it never hurt me because I was like, motherfucker, you're paying me.

• 2:05:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:05:37Bunnie XO?

  You know, like, but to a lot of other-

• 2:05:39Speaker 01

  You could see through the manipulation.

• 2:05:40Bunnie XO?

  Exactly, and but, you know, a lot of women, that would break them down, and that would make them hurt, and that would add to their trauma.

• 2:05:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, and they're probably there because they already were hurt.

• 2:05:51Bunnie XO?

  Exactly, well, I, well, nobody gets into sex work because they had a perfect childhood, and if they do, then they're just, they're searching for something else. You know, there's something else that they would need the answer to life about, you know. Ninety-nine percent of women that are in sex work have some sort of, you know, childhood trauma, whether it be sexual, emotional, abusive.

• 2:06:10Speaker 01

  Can I tell you that, that, I want to touch on this because I've had such a strong reaction from people with OnlyFans. I've slightly, it's a, let's not play like OnlyFans tries to act like you can be a sports star and show your sports workout and make millions over there.

• 2:06:30Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 2:06:31Speaker 01

  It's a sex website, right now, at least.

• 2:06:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:06:34Speaker 01

  Um, like, I'm assuming that, listen, I love OnlyFans, they're so amazing, but like, I think most people go on there to see sexuality, for the most part. I know people play different things on there, I get the hustle for a lot of people, but it's made me have to really be bold about my sexuality and understand-

• 2:06:55Bunnie XO?

  Well, take your power back, too.

• 2:06:56Speaker 01

  Take my power and not, like, I used to, like, kind of tell somebody, now I'm like, I'm not OnlyFans, is that an issue, like, and?

• 2:07:04Bunnie XO?

  If a man has a problem with you being-

• 2:07:05Speaker 01

  All men have a problem with it, I immediately get treated differently now, I don't, I, the, the way people come at me, once they learn that element, it's so different, and it's different than anything-

• 2:07:17Bunnie XO?

  That's why you need a thug. You need a drug dealer.

• 2:07:19Speaker 01

  Well, no, that's what I'm saying, I'm like, I'm starting to realize if I, because I just make so much money, that I'm like-

• 2:07:24Bunnie XO?

  It's, it could be an insecurity thing.

• 2:07:26Speaker 01

  And I don't feel like, I'm not compromising myself, I feel perfectly fine, I'm totally in control of what I do.

• 2:07:30Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:30Speaker 01

  So, so for me, I'm just like, and I, I like being sexual and feeling that in myself again, I mean, I went for three years and didn't have a man near me, I didn't even kiss anyone.

• 2:07:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:07:42Speaker 01

  Like, if I want to be sexual and embrace it, but when this ditty shit started happening, and all this stuff started occurring, I started asking myself, like-

• 2:07:53Speaker 01

  Is this a result of some like grooming a- as a child?

• 2:07:58Bunnie XO?

  Um.

• 2:07:59Speaker 01

  Maybe even younger.

• 2:08:00Bunnie XO?

  I think you're, I think, I think you put, and this is my assessment of you, just from sitting here with you for the past two and a half hours is, I think that you have so much hurt from your father that you're not recognizing.

• 2:08:13Speaker 01

  I don't care about him at all.

• 2:08:15Bunnie XO?

  Uh, even though you don't.

• 2:08:16Speaker 01

  My mom, yes, I'm hurt as fuck by her.

• 2:08:18Bunnie XO?

  Even though you don't.

• 2:08:19Speaker 01

  Be offended the rest of my life.

• 2:08:21Bunnie XO?

  There's still a wound there and there's still a little girl searching for a dad that like.

• 2:08:25Speaker 01

  Could my mom be my dad and my mom that I'm looking for? I think, I see a dad and my mom.

• 2:08:30Bunnie XO?

  I tell everybody I have mommy and daddy issues. Like you, you can have both and you don't have to have one, you know, you can have mommy.

• 2:08:37Speaker 01

  But could one parent represent both those issues? Cause my mom had to be my mom and my dad.

• 2:08:42Bunnie XO?

  I, well, I feel like that she is all you've ever known, but I do think like when you were a little girl, did you ever see like dads with their little girls and like yearn for that? Because that's normal.

• 2:08:54Bunnie XO?

  Like, did you ever have?

• 2:08:55Speaker 01

  I'm an only child and I, I'm,

• 2:08:59Speaker 01

  my best friends were all gays in theater.

• 2:09:01Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:02Speaker 01

  I didn't have nor, I'm, I don't really have a lot of real, I, I got famous so young.

• 2:09:07Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:08Speaker 01

  So my only real friends are from before that.

• 2:09:11Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 2:09:11Speaker 01

  And I have a couple that like, they like, they were the popular girls in school. And they really came around when I got famous and took a liking to me. And they were cool with me during that time too. And they might not be seen out in public with me everywhere, but they were my friends then too.

• 2:09:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:28Speaker 01

  It was cooler to be my friend later on in life for sure.

• 2:09:31Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 2:09:32Speaker 01

  But, you know, they all have regular lives, so we can't, so I just don't, that element, I don't have, I don't, I don't.

• 2:09:40Bunnie XO?

  It could be stemmed from your mom too, but anything, you know, that's happened, they say that trauma starts in the womb. Like your mom could have been upset, could have been, uh, you know, you, you could have heard your mom and your dad arguing. Like there could have been so many things that have happened. And then on top of that, then you have the ditty shit, you know, and it's just like there, you just have a lineage of, you know, this is where it started and this is where it's continued. And you just have to, now that you've gone to Bali though, and like done all of this work, have you tried dating again since ever, since you came back from Bali? Have you noticed that you've been able to, to, you know, stop some of these patterns?

• 2:10:23Bunnie XO?

  Or are you still going for the same kind of guy?

• 2:10:26Speaker 01

  Definitely went for something completely different when I got home.

• 2:10:31Bunnie XO?

  Well, you were fresh off the, you know, the, the healing journey. So you're

• 2:10:37Speaker 01

  Fresh, fresh. I was like over healed by the time I left. I was like, I started look, going to all the healing things every day and looking at everyone like, I'd go to poetry, you know, spoken word nights and prophets would go up there and talk about their country and Big Pharma and this, that, and do it super poetic and this justice like this.

• 2:10:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:10:59Speaker 01

  And I'd be like fucking in it, like these people, like in the world. I was in the fucking culture. I was in it.

• 2:11:05Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:11:05Speaker 01

  But then I started going to them and being like, well, if it was so bad, then what the fuck are you doing here? Go home. Go start your own political party. Go organize and assess and change shit for your country. Change shit for people in it. You're sitting over here in Bali.

• 2:11:21Bunnie XO?

  Well, that's the analytical side of you too.

• 2:11:24Speaker 01

  I just, I started looking at everybody like y'all are a little bit fraudulent. I love that y'all want to be healers here, but all y'all motherfuckers are not healers. Most y'all are faking healing. So you could stay in a nice area because you don't want to go back home. Or maybe you don't have a direction in life, but y'all motherfuckers aren't all healers.

• 2:11:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, there's a lot of fake positivity in the world.

• 2:11:45Speaker 01

  It rings true in Bali. It was less true during COVID because you couldn't get in. So I was really there with the people, but there, I did see a lot of false prophets. Listen, I don't know if they're false prophets. I would, I would, in my opinion, feel a little bit of flagrant, uh, flagrant energy coming off of certain people. And I just started to realize like, all I've done is run away and re-center in a place that's really easy to re-center. Can I do it at home?

• 2:12:16Bunnie XO?

  Right. And so since you've been back, have you applied everything that you learned in Bali? Or are you still dating the same types of men?

• 2:12:27Speaker 01

  Right now I'm not dating at all. Um, when I first got back from Bali, I only dated one guy and I, he was clear with me from the very beginning that he doesn't feel he can fall in love with a woman. He's never, he was like a little younger than me, but we had always, he had stayed friends with me.

• 2:12:46Bunnie XO?

  Does he want to fall in love with a man?

• 2:12:49Speaker 01

  No, he just said he doesn't have that. He's got his own trauma, I think, from his parents and other things.

• 2:12:53Bunnie XO?

  Gotcha. Okay, so just saying in general, he can't fall in love with anybody.

• 2:12:57Speaker 01

  He said, "We've been friends for so long." He was like, "I'm scared to have sex with you because I don't want to lose our friendship." And I was like, "I've detached from Aubrey O'Day. I don't need all the most powerful dick in the country and only that." And only like fairy tale-ish fake things like I made with Polly in my mind. Like, all that's done. I can casually be with somebody and just get off for the sake of getting off. And this guy's great and he's super nice to me and we're great friends. That ended in a pregnancy and a whole thing, so...

• 2:13:34Bunnie XO?

  What happened with the pregnancy?

• 2:13:35Speaker 01

  Um, didn't work out. So, that situation got really muddy. I realized, the whole time I thought I was able to be detached and not care and not, I was like, becoming... I was outside of myself. I was jealous. I was stalking. I was, not stalking like physically, but like Instagram scrolling, checking for, checking up on, reaching out instead of being reached out to all the time. Like, I wasn't being courted. I was...

• 2:14:12Bunnie XO?

  You were doing the chasing.

• 2:14:13Speaker 01

  Having sex with a guy every couple days. We'd meet up and have sex. And the sex is like a soul exchange for me. For him, it isn't. And he tried to explain that to me in the beginning. And I thought that I was healed and have ventured outside of myself so much that I could take on a relationship like that. And I absolutely failed miserably. And it didn't end well. It was like, um, just...

• 2:14:40Speaker 01

  Traumatic for us both, probably.

• 2:14:43Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:43Speaker 01

  And I look back on it like, fuck, like, I really did, he really was like, a friend, or maybe he wasn't.

• 2:14:49Bunnie XO?

  Is this Pras that you're talking about?

• 2:14:51Speaker 01

  No, so, so, you're, I totally forgot about that one. So, yeah, there's Pras too. There's this guy, and then there's Pras. Um, yeah, Pras was interesting, but, um, no, he, this was a different guy. Um, and I just, the relationship, I realized, like, whoa. I thought I could just come back here and join OnlyFans and pop up on this man's dick every couple of days and

• 2:15:20Bunnie XO?

  Not catch feelings.

• 2:15:21Speaker 01

  Be freed from all the ties and boundaries and titles and entitlement and all the bullshit. Holy fuck, I got taken, I, I went through like a whirlwind fast of like, what is my identity and what am I seeking and what am I attracting and why did all of this just get so out of fucking pocket? And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna chill. So I didn't have sex for like a year, then Pras came along.

• 2:15:49Bunnie XO?

  Have you ever done traditional therapy that isn't on a reality show? Yeah.

• 2:15:55Speaker 01

  Half the time, if I'm being real with you, I'm so observant of people that I'm talk, like, we've said, when we're on sex, we can multitask. I've been seeing every time he thinks something's funny or he's trying to end it and looking at his clock. I've peeped like everybody I can in this room. I've seen, listen, the most handsome gentleman over here with his tongue out for the past two hours, like, I

• 2:16:20Bunnie XO?

  I've been like trying to wake him up because he's over here sawing logs. I'm like, stop sawing logs.

• 2:16:24Speaker 01

  That tongue has been increasing this entire time. It's almost to the couch. It is literally my favorite thing in the world right now. So, um, but no, I'm, I'm assessed so much that like, when I'm sitting with normal therapists, I can see

• 2:16:38Bunnie XO?

  The cracks in there. Hmm, I'm the same way.

• 2:16:41Speaker 01

  One was projecting, one, I saw her look at the clock when I was saying something very meaningful to me and I was like, oh, this bitch is just working for a dollar. And then, when I got back with Polly after paying

• 2:16:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, let's talk about you and Holly.

• 2:16:54Speaker 01

  Thousands and thousands of dollars. I went right back to the chaos after we, everybody thought we broke up on marriage bootcamp, but he came right back. And I went right back into Vegas and I'm in his Whatever his nice car was, I don't remember. He has all these fucking cars that are his, you know, they all give him his power in his mind, you know, they're all his, they're all what makes him him. I was so unimpressed by it, by, even in the beginning, but by the end, ugh.

• 2:17:20Bunnie XO?

  I feel like you guys had a really sour go, because you, like, you talk, you even talk about Diddy like so much more endearing than you talk about Polly.

• 2:17:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, there's elements, so.

• 2:17:37Bunnie XO?

  How long were you guys together?

• 2:17:39Speaker 01

  Polly's so not the guy that I received, like during the TV show, that Polly, the one that everyone sees in front of the world, oh my god, fell for him. It's just not at all, it's like, you know when you see those pictures of what you thought you were buying, and then once it comes and it's like a fucking raincoat and it looks like Versace in the picture? That's what it was, like, straight up. Everything that I thought it was gonna be, I slowly realized, none of that is what happens when we're behind closed doors and we had to be behind closed doors a lot, because I had a lot of like, you know, instantly out the gate, like, there's a lot of parts of this relationship I don't explain, because they're so less traumatic than the more serious things he did, but like, in the beginning, one of my first things, like,

• 2:18:23Speaker 01

  I'm never been with a girl and announced a girl, has my, had a girlfriend publicly, like, you're the first one, like, you can't follow anyone, you have to undo all your followers. My assistant had to unfollow like twenty thousand fucking people, because at that time on Twitter, you had to like unfollow them one by one, and he put a time limit on it, and if it didn't happen, then I wasn't getting the fucking job. And like, my assistant was like, I remember like calling her, and she was crying, and her dad was sick, and she's like, "I'm fucking trying, I'm deleting them like as fast as I can, like, is this fucking for real? Like, are we really having to do this? This is stupid." And I was like, "Get it done, Jules, like, hurry up." That was the start of, of just an example of like, these rules, like,

• 2:19:06Speaker 01

  not follow anyone, I couldn't have my cleavage showing. "Oh, you wanna go have your own place with a pool where you walk out in a bathing suit in front of other guys that live in that complex? You think that's what a wife does? No, you're not a wife if you do that. You wanna be my wife, or do you wanna go do that?" He kinda paints it to the public as if, "Yeah, I had rules, don't, don't be with other men," but I'm like, "No, that, that really wasn't the rule. I was never with any other men, I'm so fucking loyal." I was however, like, a personality. I was my own star. I mean, on Dumb Blonde's birthday, I remember, like, you know, my first year without. Shan saw a lot of the abuse of our relationship early on. She hated him.

• 2:19:48Speaker 01

  And then I kind of went with him, and with him means everyone starts to get iced out. I had to, I couldn't be friends with any gay guy. He didn't feel gay was real. Gay was just guys that want to be in the room while you're getting changed so they could see some quick titty. Like, I had so many roles. My gay best friend from before he was gay and we would like each other in college to after being full-blown gay, you know, a lawyer and prominent with a boyfriend. I had to cut him completely out of my life, and that was a friendship that was so hard.

• 2:20:23Speaker 01

  There were just so many things. Like, if I left Vegas and came to LA, he was clocking it. I didn't know how. I didn't, I, a guy found, uh, I got my car cleaned and the guy found, uh, trackers. But like, I would want to just stop by 7-Eleven so I could grab some-

• 2:20:41Bunnie XO?

  So he put, wait, he put trackers in your car?

• 2:20:43Speaker 01

  I can't say. I don't want to have any, that's the least of my concerns in life, so I want to just... I don't know how they got there, but there were trackers in my car. I didn't understand, but I would do things like, I would want to go into 7-Eleven by my house when I'd go home at 2:00 in the morning and grab a snack so I could eat. But that would put an extra 10, maybe 15 minutes if I looked around. And then I get home, and I had to check in the second I got home. I had to check in. There was a rule. It was like, every 15 minutes or 20 minutes. There was literally a time where I went to the movies with my assistant, but I was not allowed to do that, and the fact that I did not report that, and I really wanted to go, and she wanted to go, and she told me we could get away with going to the movies.

• 2:21:27Speaker 01

  Like, you can just tell Polly, like, we're at home, we didn't go anywhere, you're not around any men or guys in a facility. And like, we went to the movies, just in downtown, I was still living down there. And he, he wanted a picture. I was like, oh, I'm just with Jules. We came upstairs and we're putting our feet in the hot tub. Meanwhile, we walked down and went and ate some, our favorite Mexican food spot, went to go see a movie, but I couldn't that would never be okay. I would not be able to be around men like that.

• 2:21:54Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 2:21:55Speaker 01

  So I just would say, I'm at, and Julie knew, she knew all the rules, she saw how many times he, and every time there, I didn't do what he said, I was unfollowed, uh, I was blocked. I had to make over like sixty phone numbers in that relationship. It was the sickest thing. When I was on Big Brother, I sat on a old man that was like seventy something years old and like a gay icon there and he was singing some Broadway song and I sat on his lap and I sang the other part of the song. Jules was like, when I got out of that show, Julie was like, I've never in my life understood what you had to go through until you left and I became Polly's thing, that he had to talk to all the time.

• 2:22:40Speaker 01

  She's like, it was all day, non-stop. He got a VPN, he watched you twenty-four hours a day, every time. He, he called me freaking out that you were gonna cheat on him with that seventy-year-old gay man when you sat on his lap. I wasn't allowed, there were conditions of doing that show. I was not even allowed to do that show, but I told him, Polly, you're not allowing me to make money. And so I thought to myself, I'm either gonna have to go back on tour, which means different cities, different men, men are on the crew, men are in the, um, putting our mics, doing our production. I'm gonna be around lots of men and, and you're not gonna have any control and it's gonna fuck, that would be a no. Or I could just go do Big Brother and I'm on camera twenty-four hours a day in the UK, you can watch everything I'm doing.

• 2:23:25Speaker 01

  I wasn't allowed because there's guys in the house. And I'm like, Polly, you're gonna be able to see every second of it. You're gonna see if I do anything. I'm not, I, I had to It was just so much just to be able to take that show. And I had a few rules and I did and I broke one of them. And he had like pictures of every time I broke one of his rules. And I had to explain myself. I didn't even do any of the press for Celebrity Big Brother. And I was in the final five or whatever it is till the last day. And the next day, we were supposed to wake up and do press all over the UK. Huge news things. I wasn't allowed to go to any of it. I had to stay up all night. I literally got off the show and Renee was with me.

• 2:24:10Speaker 01

  She saw all of this. I got off the show and I walked out of, literally, you're in like a box for a month. They won't tell you anything unless somebody dies. They didn't tell us there was a bombing and a train in Paris. And Hillary Clinton won the nomination. All these things were happening in the world. You don't know it. You're completely isolated. There's not even cameramen. They're built inside the house. So like I had no idea what the world was saying about anything that I was going through. So I got out and I walked. You literally open the door to the house as you're leaving and you walk into a studio audience. And I walked up to the host, I think her name was Emma, and she goes, well, guess who's here for you? And I was like, what? And she goes, your boyfriend, Paulie D.

• 2:24:55Speaker 01

  And he walks on stage and I'm like, oh, my God. Walks on stage, comes, gives me a hug and he's like, you're in fucking big trouble. He whispers it in my ear on that stage as he hugs me as my loving boyfriend. And I walked back and I was like, Renee, he told me I'm in big fucking trouble. I don't know what to do. And she's like, let me try to handle it. Because meanwhile, Big Brother to me was my best friend. I became best friends with Renee. She taught me how to be an Italian. Renee Graziano. Yeah. She taught me how to be an Italian housewife, how to cook meatballs. And I thought I was like becoming a better wife for him and doing right by him. And I would have liked to have a bit more fun and been a bit more Aubrey. I would have won if I could have been a bit more Aubrey. But I was so scared.

• 2:25:38Speaker 01

  Because I didn't want to lose my relationship, but I still wanted to be the star that I am. But they couldn't meet. I couldn't be without a bra on at all times. The problem is, is in a full month of being on a show, girl, these titties gotta breathe when I go to sleep. But because I woke up one time in the middle of sleeping and went to the bathroom, it's caught on camera. You can see a bit of a nipple on the T-shirt. And he had the picture of the proof that I was braless on that set. And like shit like that was like killing me, because I'm like, dude, I fucking barely took it off a couple nights. My fucking big ass bra. When I was in sleep in bed, like I didn't, nothing.

• 2:26:21Speaker 01

  So it was just such, I mean, everybody was fucking on that show. I could have done a million things. A lot of people have, you know, like, I could have gone the fuck off. I could have really ran that shit, but I just stayed with Renee and we talked about Polly all the time. She taught me how to be all the Italian ways.

• 2:26:39Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:26:39Speaker 01

  I came home like excited to cook for him and I had no idea how much trouble I was in during that show after I sat on that man's lap. Polly, who decided instead of having me put my dogs in the facility, he was gonna take them. I didn't realize how much of a problem that was gonna be until I got on that show. I did not know any of this had happened. I knew I was in trouble when he told me. We still walk over to a contestant pool. I don't know what I'm in trouble for. We can't talk. There's cameras on us. Not able to talk the whole night until we get into this hotel room. He had gotten into the hotel room prior. They had had like my wrap up contracts and everything. He had gone through all my contracts, all my payments. Uh, there were all kinds of things.

• 2:27:20Speaker 01

  All the pictures. I had to explain one by one. I remember him screaming at me like, why would you do this? And I didn't understand like, I thought I- was like a great girlfriend. The whole time, all I did was fucking talk about him. And he had broken up with me so many times while I was on that show. I had no idea. I see his frustration. Julie calls me and I'm like, hey, Jules is asking me to just say hi to her. I haven't talked to her in a month. I walk outside and she goes, is Polly near you? And I was like, hey, I haven't talked to you in a month. Like, is everything okay? She's like, yeah, is Polly near you? And I'm like, no. She's like, girl, he caused a lot of problems while you were in there. I was like, what do you mean? She's like, he broke up with you a few times. I was like, what? She's like, it's all over the news. It's on TMZ. I was like, what do you mean? She's like, it was really crazy. He went during the first time he broke up with you.

• 2:28:05Speaker 01

  He went and put your dogs inside the gates of your house and left them there to leave them there alone. And I was like, he took, he drove all the way from Vegas to my house and dropped my dogs off inside the gate. And she was like, yeah, luckily I got like your, my best friend Sarah from college to drive from Orange County over to LA to get my dogs. But she said like, when she got there, he was like rummaging through my house. I don't know what was in my house or play. He had my car. So that's after, after that is when I found those things. But like, I was broken up with multiple times and I didn't even know I had done anything wrong. This is before I walked in and had to do explaining all night, missed all the press the next day.

• 2:28:50Speaker 01

  We ended up going on this whole lovers, uh, you know, week in Paris and all over the place. We're having sex like to make a baby, which we did.

• 2:29:04Bunnie XO?

  So you ended up being pregnant with Polly also?

• 2:29:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:29:08Bunnie XO?

  And what happened with that situation?

• 2:29:10Speaker 01

  Both times I had an abortion.

• 2:29:12Bunnie XO?

  Was that because you wanted it or was it agreed together?

• 2:29:16Speaker 01

  First time, we, I got pregnant the first time we had sex. Um, and then the second time was when we were traveling. And we had gotten through that major hump. And my thought was, I'm making a shit ton of money doing this show, then I can go back to Vegas and be under all of... He basically said to me, like, I want a housewife that cooks, cleans. You stay here all the time. He goes away on the weekends, usually would cheat. I'd have to deal with girls every time he'd come home, writing my DMs, "Had your boyfriend's dick in my mouth last night, he tasted good.

• 2:30:00Speaker 01

  Cute photo, nice post, I had your man's dick in me." I was arguing with every cocktail waitress from north to south with tattoos on her face. About what was this and that. I mean, I had never in my life even experienced cheating like that. It was crazy. And then he started making it so I never really could know because he'd have his person collect all their phones at the door. And it was just a meet and greet, but I went to one of them, they turned into a full-blown thing, and then he ends up fucking at the end of it. It was me when I was there.

• 2:30:40Speaker 01

  But I don't think it happened every time, but even he had a show after where he was dating out on the prowl again with Vinnie. And I heard during that show, a girl came forward and was like, "You cheated on Aubrey O'Day. My friend told me she fucked you when you were at the thing." He's like, "Oh, we were broken up then." He likes to do this, "We were broken up then" thing. I don't know one time in the entire time that we dated where we had a big breakup. I think after marriage boot camp, we didn't talk for maybe a week. My assistant was there, and then when I was taking her to her plane, he called me and told me to come back to Vegas. How dare I fucking humiliate him and tell the truth? How dare I not follow the script he gave us? How dare I fucking X, Y, and Z?

• 2:31:20Bunnie XO?

  How do you detach from a relationship like that? Who ended the relationship?

• 2:31:26Speaker 01

  Oh, I mean, he ended it over like fucking 500 times, probably. Every time I broke a rule, I was blocked. And usually what I started to-

• 2:31:34Bunnie XO?

  What was the final blow?

• 2:31:36Speaker 01

  Oh, the final blow is a really great one. The final blow was no blow at all. I was with him all the way up to going to the airport when he got Jersey Shore back again. He hadn't had any of that. The last show he had done was famously single with me. And other than that, he had a few DJ gigs here and there. Jersey Shore decides to come back. And this is after marriage boot camp. People don't think we're together anymore because he, it doesn't end where we're together. But we were. I was at his house. I heard every horrible thing he had to say about every single one of them. I know the truth behind all of that. And I feel sorry for everyone on that show that has gone in interviews and I've heard many horrible things that have been slandered on my name.

• 2:32:21Speaker 01

  Yet I saw everything he had to say about every single one of them and it wasn't pretty. For the most part. Um, and, and I brought him to the show. He called me on the first layover. Called me when he got to the hotel. The whole first night I had to talk to him all night, like usual, every 20 minutes, check in. And then talked to him and he, as the producers were taking his phone to start the series. And he said he was gonna call me on my birthday. Which was like two weeks in or something, two, two weeks into filming.

• 2:32:53Bunnie XO?

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:32:54Speaker 01

  Um, and then I didn't get a call from him on my birthday. And I called Lauren, or she called me, one or the other. And she's Mike's wife, I think now.

• 2:33:05Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:33:06Speaker 01

  Um, and I was like, hey, she didn't know, I think, that we had gotten back together. Um, and I was like getting, trying to get information, like what was going on. I was like, hey, like, have you talked to Mike? And she's like, yeah, he calls me from the house phone. And I was like, oh, I was like, what's going on? She's like, oh, this happened, that happened, Ronnie cheated on his girlfriend and she doesn't even know it yet. And she's about to come into the house in a week. It's about to be fucking crazy, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, what about Polly? And she was like, oh, he like fingered two girls in the club last night. And I was like, the last night was my birthday. So that's how I found out. We never talked again. I wrote him a text message and was like, how like, are you serious? Like probably a bunch of words, like a paragraph. I'm sure I

• 2:33:49Speaker 01

  thought about it for weeks and weeks. And never spoke to him again.

• 2:33:53Bunnie XO?

  He never tried to reach out after that?

• 2:33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was, he got his fame back. He didn't need me anymore.

• 2:33:59Bunnie XO?

  That's gotta hurt because there's no closure there, you know?

• 2:34:03Speaker 01

  Let me tell you. The, because the show was big back then, and when they brought it back, they went like doubled down on the shit. There was literally a billboard a block from my house. And I had to pass it if I just wanted to get food for the day. So it was like, I, I was just seeing like, everything's fake. That's all bullshit. Uh, I probably meant, I, I mean, I, I believe because it got so abusive that a few times I could see that he saw himself in my fear of him.

• 2:34:42Bunnie XO?

  He put his hands on you?

• 2:34:44Speaker 01

  I don't want to talk about any of that type of stuff, but I, I

• 2:34:51Speaker 01

  abuse can mean a lot of things.

• 2:34:52Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 2:34:53Speaker 01

  It was toxic as fuck. And, and like, fairly, I played a role in the fact that I stayed. He always would say to me, if I'm so bad, why are you staying? I didn't learn until years later that that's what all narcissistic abusers say to their victims.

• 2:35:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no. I was in an abusive relationship, so I get it. It took me forever to, I would've never left had he had not gone to prison, you know?

• 2:35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I, I, I think my assistant was so, I mean, everyone in my life was so happy to, that it, to see him go. There was something about

• 2:35:31Speaker 01

  Paulie felt like um a guy's guy, you know, he wasn't smart, he wasn't like Travis Don, every bun before was like intellects, he wasn't an intellect, but he could fix things. He was always fixing things with tools and taking it apart and it felt like this is a man's man, he knows how to like build cars and fix things and he was funny. Yeah. You know, he had funny, you know, like butt and fart humor, but it was funny. Yeah. And it felt nice to like, I had this idea that we were both these big stars, we both came, were babies at MTV, we both grew up on that network, we fell in love on TV and

• 2:36:12Speaker 01

  I thought this dream that like we'd be like Nick and Jessica and you know, we'd both, we'd have these famous kids and our shows and I, this dream, stupid, stupid idea that like It's not stupid. You know, you wanna end up with a guy that's like this and it's all gonna be like this, but when the realities hit, I mean, even with the second child, I just saw traits where I just knew, I think the second one bothered him. For me, I was like, all about it and then I changed my mind because he like fell asleep on me one night or during,

• 2:36:57Speaker 01

  like late, early night and we both passed out and then I kinda woke up and he was on his phone scrolling through his DMs and like he opened a DM and the girl had her tits out and she was like jiggling them and like saying, I'm waiting, these are waiting for you or whatever. And I just realized like, he's never gonna, uh, he's never gonna.

• 2:37:22Speaker 01

  Allow me peace. I'm gonna forever be chasing women. I'm gonna forever be um suppressing all of my light, all of my shine. I could not be special around him. I was saying on dumb blonde's birthday, I was like, can I play you like all the musi- I did six music videos for this project, like can I play them all so you could see like some of my work as a musician and like my career, cause you don't really know like a lot about how hard my my work ethic. And he was like, fuck that, I'm not fucking watching a bunch of videos where you're all over guys fucking touching guys and shit and I'm like, oh, there's not even a guy in any of our music videos, don't worry. He's like, yeah, right. And that was the end of that.

• 2:38:05Bunnie XO?

  That's hurtful.

• 2:38:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it just, there was no room for me and I allowed that because I thought that up until then, I had always chosen me and my career first. And with him, I thought, I'm getting into my thirties, this is the time to marry and have a child. This situation looks exactly as you've always thought it should be for Aubrey O'Day, right? So, make it work. And I saw that he needed me to stop, there were all these instant things, I mean, take down all the bathing suit photos, I mean, all the photos I had to delete off my Instagram. When we first started dating, I I mean, I saw his, the new girlfriend um

• 2:38:50Speaker 01

  when he first, he had a show where he was like getting to date new people, of course, all that was outside my house as well. I mean, it like haunted me for such a long time. And even on that show, he like treated that girl like crap, she comes back, there, it's his girlfriend still to this day. And I think um as far as, I mean, like as of a couple of years ago, I'm sure that he doesn't like having to do everything all over again, like you were saying.

• 2:39:12Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 2:39:12Speaker 01

  Um, but like, I saw like, oh, she had all these sexy photos and then like, after they started like, it started being official, all those photos came down and I was like, Thinking that she was gonna, someone else on this wor- on this earth was gonna know what it felt like.

• 2:39:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:39:29Speaker 01

  But then it never ended. And at some points I had issues with that. And I was like, why was I the one that had to go through all that?

• 2:39:36Bunnie XO?

  We don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

• 2:39:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, listen, I, I, I hope that she's being treated good. I pray that no girl ever goes through what I went through with him ever in life. I don't even know that anyone would, would be able to. They would leave probably. I should have left.

• 2:39:48Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. A lot of, a lot of people in abusive relationships don't leave though. Yeah.

• 2:39:52Speaker 01

  I mean, listen, the, the, the first couple of girls that like called me and were harassing me were like, I'm glad he's with you. Good luck. You're gonna see. They told me that, like this ominous, you're gonna see. And boy, did I see.

• 2:40:06Bunnie XO?

  I feel like whenever exes tell you that, a, a lot of people take that as like, oh, she's just jealous.

• 2:40:11Speaker 01

  That's what I thought. Not anymore.

• 2:40:13Bunnie XO?

  It's always proven right. I'm sorry. Anytime I've, like, my abusive exes, she was like, girl, you are beautiful. I love that he landed you, but you're gonna see. And I just never understood what she was talking about. And boy, it was crazy. So yeah, I get it.

• 2:40:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:40:31Bunnie XO?

  Well, let's, what is Aubrey doing now that she's single, that she doesn't have a man in her life, bringing her down? Like, what is life like not having a man constantly in your life? Does it feel weird? Because I feel like, you're like me, I'm kind of relationship based. I always like to have that love. Cause I, deep down inside, I think Aquarius is, we are hopeless romantics.

• 2:40:51Speaker 01

  What day?

• 2:40:52Bunnie XO?

  January 22nd. I'm Capricorn Aquarius.

• 2:40:54Speaker 01

  Oh my God, that's crazy.

• 2:40:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. So you're February 11th. You're a February Aquarius.

• 2:40:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:40:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. I think deep down inside, as analytical as we are, as, you know, justified and are, are we, as we are, and how honest and raw and truthful we are, we do romanticize having a happily ever after, whichever, whatever that happily ever after looks like for each of us, you know?

• 2:41:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:41:17Bunnie XO?

  How is it now that you're single and that you're still in TV? Because to be relevant as long as you have been. is kinda crazy because that's that's a testament you know to your tenacity because to be as to be relevant I mean you've been in the industry what like how old are you now I'm allowed to ask that

• 2:41:40Speaker 01

  forty

• 2:41:41Bunnie XO?

  so

• 2:41:41Speaker 01

  I just turned forty

• 2:41:42Bunnie XO?

  thirty years pretty much right

• 2:41:45Speaker 01

  yeah

• 2:41:46Bunnie XO?

  yeah like twenty nine twenty eight I'm not great with math

• 2:41:50Speaker 01

  over two decades

• 2:41:50Bunnie XO?

  a long fucking time like almost three decades that you've been in front of a camera and now you're still going to do another reality show

• 2:41:58Speaker 01

  I know

• 2:41:59Bunnie XO?

  where are you at where's your mental health where's your heart how's your spirit

• 2:42:05Speaker 01

  well which category are we talking like men or career

• 2:42:09Bunnie XO?

  no just you by yourself just Aubrey

• 2:42:11Speaker 01

  I'm I would say I'm well right now what I'm in is like um I have seventeen and eighteen year old dogs so I'm in there I'm we're I'm guiding them to the afterlife right now we're getting close um on my fortieth birthday

• 2:42:33Bunnie XO?

  for that

• 2:42:34Speaker 01

  yeah girl how old

• 2:42:35Bunnie XO?

  he's six

• 2:42:36Speaker 01

  oh you have some time but he is a bigger dog they don't go that long usually

• 2:42:40Bunnie XO?

  yeah

• 2:42:41Speaker 01

  um prepare yourself I wish I would have thought about everything earlier but

• 2:42:45Bunnie XO?

  I can't

• 2:42:45Speaker 01

  um

• 2:42:46Bunnie XO?

  I'll have him taxidermied

• 2:42:48Speaker 01

  oh

• 2:42:49Bunnie XO?

  I will literally have Chachi

• 2:42:51Speaker 01

  listen I I froze my one of my dog's sperm so I feel you

• 2:42:55Bunnie XO?

  no literally I will have him taxidermied I wonder Chachi doesn't have balls though but can we dig some sperm out of him somewhere

• 2:43:03Speaker 01

  not if he doesn't have his balls

• 2:43:05Bunnie XO?

  damn it

• 2:43:06Speaker 01

  I don't know I mean nowadays I don't know exactly but I wouldn't want to lose him either he's um like incredible dog

• 2:43:13Bunnie XO?

  no he's my baby

• 2:43:14Speaker 01

  the sweetest

• 2:43:14Bunnie XO?

  he's my baby

• 2:43:15Speaker 01

  um alright so anyways with them on my fortieth birthday this year I got a call from not even the luxury boarding facility that I put her at um but by like a ER doctor that said they had to put her down and she was attacked at the boarding facility that was not an option for me and then when I got lowered from dinner in the sky and Dubai was hanging in the sky from a crane when I got the call I got down and talked to the ER doctor and he said that Um, her eye was in like multiple pieces dangling out of her face. They had her on like fentanyl or something like crazy oxycontin or something crazy.

• 2:43:57Speaker 01

  And um, and that usually when a dog's eye, something happened scratching or whatever, they just push it back and sew it down because there's an artery that runs behind the eye. And if you nick it in surgery, it's brain damage, like dead on arrival.

• 2:44:13Bunnie XO?

  It happened to my pug. My pit bull attacked my pug and they had to do that with her eye.

• 2:44:17Speaker 01

  Take it out or push it back?

• 2:44:18Bunnie XO?

  Push it back and sew it shut.

• 2:44:19Speaker 01

  My dog Ginger's eye was so in so many pieces that they didn't have that option. I, I never have like talked about this because

• 2:44:30Speaker 01

  trust and believe I wanted to run that girl's business. Because she couldn't provide me with any of the camera footage, even though she had 24 hour cameras running everywhere. The stories changed multiple times. I felt really angry. I still have, that's the only thing that could really get me heated right now when I look back on it. Um, because my dog's not the same anymore. But um, but anyways, I felt that I didn't want to bring that type of karma my way and nothing was gonna bring her eye back. So I had everyone else deal with her and I just worked on getting my dog back healthy. But she's got like, you know, she has one eye now. She, she went on the surgery table at 17 with a heart murmur.

• 2:45:15Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 2:45:16Speaker 01

  For a few hours of a surgery, stayed alive, which the doctor was not board certified, but he said he had been trained a lot by a doctor that did these surgeries and that he thought he could do it. I had no control in Dubai, no control. I would not have been able to say goodbye, like nothing. And she's my baby. I mean, I got her like, her, both my dogs, like she's my Broadway dog. I got her when I was on Broadway, like she's got her own wire image and Getty image. Except none of her photos ever look bad because she's fucking epic.

• 2:45:51Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 2:45:53Speaker 01

  But um but anyways, it was like so dramatic. So for me, when I got home, that was in February. When I got back, I was like, I make so much money doing OnlyFans. Right now, I'm going to focus on making sure that both my dogs have the best life possible and that I'm the best mom possible. So like, right now, a day in my life, if I'm not working, I'm with my two dogs doing every fucking fun thing a dog would ever want to do possible all day. And then we all fall asleep on each other. We're at the like peeing and pooing in bed stage.

• 2:46:29Bunnie XO?

  Just diapers, put diapers on them.

• 2:46:34Speaker 01

  I'm I'm figuring out how to handle different things. Right now, it's kind of like assessing quality of life. So like, we go week by week. If they, if I see a moment of happiness in them, one moment is all the vets that I needed. They can stay alive for another week. So right now, I don't give a fuck about anything except my dogs. I'm working when I work. I love like moments like this, like going and seeing Jelly tonight will be like special for me because I get to be back around music and Nashville's, I'm sure, very special if it's not fucking a hurricane.

• 2:47:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, tornado, tornado, we have tornadoes out here.

• 2:47:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't know what I experienced, but that shit was wild. But I, I'm like mostly focused on that. Love life wise, I'm not, I don't think while I'm on OnlyFans, I'm gonna find the right kind of person that I am right for and have them be able to respect or understand it the way that I do.

• 2:47:31Bunnie XO?

  Well, I beg to differ. I met my husband when I was a fucking escort and he loved me, loved every bit of me, knew everything I did, would talk to me while I was at tricks houses. I would send him videos of us making tricks, do weird shit.

• 2:47:45Speaker 01

  Can you please tell me about one of those videos? I just need to know. Did you ever make anyone do animal noises? I saw one thing where this guy was.

• 2:47:52Bunnie XO?

  Baby, that is child's play.

• 2:47:54Speaker 01

  Oh my god, please tell me. Did you make them put dildos in their asses or anything fun?

• 2:47:57Bunnie XO?

  Oh, for sure. Yes, absolutely. Anything you could think of.

• 2:48:01Speaker 01

  Did you ever do the humiliation stuff? I get asked, I got asked.

• 2:48:04Bunnie XO?

  Not intentionally, but it would happen. There was, there's, I've told this story before. There's a trick that um. We call him shitter.

• 2:48:12Speaker 01

  Shitter? Wait, did you have to do the poo parties?

• 2:48:16Bunnie XO?

  No, I didn't do that. I'm not into that. No, no, no. That's gross. But this was unintentional. We were doing, you know, eight balls of cocaine and he was naked, running around the hotel room. And this man would scoot down the bed to like, go do a line. And when he would scoot, a skid mark would get left. And I was videoing this and I still have the videos in my phone. I was videoing this. I was videoing this.

• 2:48:37Speaker 01

  Take down a lot of people with both these phones.

• 2:48:39Bunnie XO?

  Oh, literally dude. Jay says it all the time. He's like, if you really wanted to, he's like, you could fucking fuck up some shit. And I'm just like, I would never want to, you know, like, there's a part of me that sometimes I'm like, and then I'm like, no, you know?

• 2:48:51Speaker 01

  I love getting choked.

• 2:48:52Bunnie XO?

  I, so do I. I used to until I got really choked. And then, so now I'm, now I think I have a fucking aneurysm on my carotid artery from being choked out in bed. So be very careful.

• 2:49:03Speaker 01

  No, it's sick that, no, I'm at a point now where I'm like, it's sick that I normalized and then fetishized and liked it. It's really unhealthy. It's porn. I think like being so like, Dr. Drew said this to me one time. He was like, my generation of men got off on Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire and we saw a man throw down his jacket and hop over the water puddle. Your generation learned relationships through two girls in a cup or two, what is that?

• 2:49:32Bunnie XO?

  Two girls, one cup.

• 2:49:33Speaker 01

  Two girls, one cup.

• 2:49:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:49:34Speaker 01

  Like, we, imagine the young kids now, what they're looking at.

• 2:49:38Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I couldn't imagine.

• 2:49:40Speaker 01

  Definitely just average shit nowadays. It's not even, it's, I can't get off unless I'm choked at one point. And I was like, this is fucking sick and unhealthy that I've normalized this.

• 2:49:49Bunnie XO?

  Well, it's also pain. I think it's pain that we, we push down and it's almost like we are like,

• 2:49:54Speaker 01

  It's like dominating.

• 2:49:55Bunnie XO?

  Glutton for punishment, you know, like, it's like, we feel like we deserve to be treated that way because secretly.

• 2:50:01Speaker 01

  I don't like it for that reason. I like it because I like to be dominated because I'm.

• 2:50:04Bunnie XO?

  No, I love to be dominated too, because I have big personalities.

• 2:50:07Speaker 01

  Is that an unhealthy thing?

• 2:50:09Bunnie XO?

  I mean, I, there's so many factors that go into it. I mean, what you like is what you like. I will never yuck somebody's yum ever. But it's like.

• 2:50:18Speaker 01

  I love that line. I will never yuck somebody's yum. That needs to be the title of this podcast.

• 2:50:22Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we can make it the title of this podcast. But I, I think that there are reasons why us as women do. Gravitate more towards certain things, you know, like in my abusive relationship, I loved the fact that he was so possessive and jealous over me. And you know, with Jay, it's the immediately opposite thing. My husband is like, you want to go fuck somebody? Go ahead. Love you. Don't want to hear about it. You know, like

• 2:50:47Speaker 01

  Do you guys have an open marriage?

• 2:50:49Bunnie XO?

  We don't have an open marriage. Everybody thinks we have an open marriage, which is crazy to me, but we don't own each other. He's not my property. I'm not his property.

• 2:50:57Speaker 01

  Do you ask him if he has sex with anybody?

• 2:50:59Bunnie XO?

  Well, my rule with my husband is if you have sex with somebody, call me before it happens, because I don't want to get that DM, you know, like, I don't want to be the last to know. Don't let me be the last to know. They're like, how, she's only with him for the money.

• 2:51:12Speaker 01

  I hate that. You know how much I get that. And I'm like, you know, the, the amount of,

• 2:51:19Speaker 01

  God, I hate to say this because it sounds so insensitive, but if I would have kept the babies that I've received in life, I'd be chilling.

• 2:51:27Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:51:27Speaker 01

  Like a villain.

• 2:51:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:51:29Speaker 01

  Because there's only one other person that I, that happened with, and that one's way bigger than that, the first one. Like

• 2:51:34Bunnie XO?

  Did you get pregnant with Don Jr.?

• 2:51:36Speaker 01

  I'm not talking about any of that, but um, I, I think in my soul, I feel like um, every time I see that, I just think to myself, this is like an easy scapegoat for women that own their sexuality and are open and honest about it.

• 2:51:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:51:55Speaker 01

  To like, throw them down that lane and, and set them aside, instead of just talk about what it all looks like.

• 2:52:02Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:52:02Speaker 01

  I've been on both sides. When I was with Polly, I, I, when I was started getting cheated on, like, and dealing with all these women, I was like, I did this to another woman. Then my best friend gave birth during that, during Polly, I'm like, that woman did this.

• 2:52:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:52:17Speaker 01

  I'm a piece of shit for that, for, for, for

• 2:52:21Bunnie XO?

  As life happens, you start to see the cause and effect.

• 2:52:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:52:25Bunnie XO?

  Of things.

• 2:52:25Speaker 01

  And but, but by the way, like, how I understood it then, and I still don't even know, like, they could have had a full blown arrangement, and it was exactly as it was presented and whatever. I don't know. I know enough that I'm settled on it. But like, I, in my mind, like, I've been on both sides. I've seen what it looks like on both sides. I think that Women group themselves into, oh, you're a girl's girl, you're not someone that would take someone's husband. Or now you're not like the my why my team was like, you're lethal. After dawn was it, I was a woman that would take a man's, oh, take a woman's man. And that was such a big thing. And a lot of those types of women that don't like girls like that.

• 2:53:08Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:53:09Speaker 01

  Didn't like me and stopped talking to me, or I was like looked down upon and I was lowered in my, my status.

• 2:53:15Bunnie XO?

  Meanwhile, these girls, and I'm not, not saying what you did was right, but meanwhile, these women have skeletons in their closet too. I don't think we're here to judge.

• 2:53:22Speaker 01

  I mean, we all do. And I, I think more honest conversations amongst women that have done all the things.

• 2:53:27Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 2:53:27Speaker 01

  Like this.

• 2:53:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:53:29Speaker 01

  Are super powerful for women because it releases the chains that bind us.

• 2:53:33Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm. There's, you know, I being an escort, there was plenty of men who wore wedding rings. There was pastors who wore wedding rings, you know, like, and do I feel bad?

• 2:53:43Speaker 01

  Did you ever come to a point where you felt guilty? I know what you felt while you were in it. Fuck these guys if they're gonna cheat on you.

• 2:53:49Bunnie XO?

  After, after I, I got out of it, did I feel guilty? I don't know if the word guilty would be what, um.

• 2:53:55Speaker 01

  Did you feel like you got your karma?

• 2:53:57Bunnie XO?

  Yes, absolutely.

• 2:53:59Speaker 01

  I'm, I feel proud for you for talking about that. Honestly, to me, I, I'm talking about things now. And I see a lot of the people that wanna silence me say, oh, you're just, you, you don't, you're nobody anymore. You're a hoe on OnlyFans. That's why you're dropping Polly's name. Or that's what you're gonna get under your comments on this video.

• 2:54:18Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:54:19Speaker 01

  No, I'm just being more honest about who I am and what I've gone through now. And I'm happy to not have to fake things in a room. What I'm not comfortable talking about with you, I've not talked about, we've moved past it. And what I am comfortable, I did not give you any rules of what I will and won't say. I told you, I'll say I'm not talking about that if I don't wanna talk about it.

• 2:54:39Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely. And it's all respect.

• 2:54:41Speaker 01

  For myself that I'm, I'm, I'm still protecting.

• 2:54:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 2:54:45Speaker 01

  For whatever reasons, if I decide to move through those boundaries in any type of way, I'll come back and we can chat some more.

• 2:54:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 2:54:51Speaker 01

  But first of all, what is tricking? You said trick, a trick?

• 2:54:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, so.

• 2:54:55Speaker 01

  Trick is a pimp?

• 2:54:56Bunnie XO?

  No. So, a trick is like somebody who pays you for sex.

• 2:55:02Speaker 01

  Okay, wait, did you have a pimp? Cause I know two pimp, they're, they're handlers, I guess, but

• 2:55:07Bunnie XO?

  No, I would never have a pimp.

• 2:55:09Speaker 01

  They're gross. And I was like, man, the fact that girls are going through this

• 2:55:12Bunnie XO?

  No, I, I see, I would never shame girls who have pimps because they, you know, obviously there's something in their childhood too, that they need that sort of like

• 2:55:20Speaker 01

  Protection?

• 2:55:21Bunnie XO?

  I don't, I don't, if it's protection, then okay, I mean, they can say it's protection.

• 2:55:25Speaker 01

  So you didn't have to cut anyone a percentage?

• 2:55:27Bunnie XO?

  No, fuck no.

• 2:55:28Speaker 01

  How did you get business?

• 2:55:29Bunnie XO?

  Very easily. You, there's, well, there is a site called Eros.com that you can go on, which, you know, is a huge website. You can book your own calls. You can work for services in Vegas. You can, um,

• 2:55:43Speaker 01

  And it's legal?

• 2:55:44Bunnie XO?

  I mean,

• 2:55:46Speaker 01

  You say you're only going on a date, right?

• 2:55:48Bunnie XO?

  Right. It's legal to book a, a beautiful woman and pay her for dinner or, you know, but whatever you guys do after that is transactional and that's your business.

• 2:55:56Speaker 01

  So you can technically get everyone arrested that you've ever had sex with as well. But even, you could do like an immunity deal and then

• 2:56:04Bunnie XO?

  No, I would never. I'm not a snitch like that. I would never, girl. I came from the streets. I could never do that.

• 2:56:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:56:10Bunnie XO?

  Um, but you know, it, it's, um,

• 2:56:13Speaker 01

  I love how open you are. It's an Aquarian thing, I think, but it's so beautiful.

• 2:56:17Bunnie XO?

  Well, I appreciate that and I recognize that in you too. And that's what has always drawn me to you. And I honestly can't wait to see how you transmute all of this and just make it your bitch. Cause I know you're gonna do that and I know that you're gonna just go through this world and keep leaving your fucking, keep stomping your heel on these motherfuckers' necks. And I can't wait to see it.

• 2:56:38Speaker 01

  Are you happy?

• 2:56:39Bunnie XO?

  I am so happy. Finally, in my life, I am happy. If you would have asked me this a few years ago, I was still searching for happiness because I didn't know how to be happy in, um, peace. I didn't know how to be happy without chaos. And for once in my life, I'm, I'm like fighting for my life. I just got a diagnosis last week where they told me that I could potentially have an aneurysm on my carotid artery. And I have for the last year, for the last week, I've been praying to God, like, please, I am finally so happy and so peaceful in my life, do not take this away from me.

• 2:57:13Speaker 01

  Can they do something about it?

• 2:57:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, there's surgery, but I mean, it's still scary, anybody walking around with a grenade in their neck, but I had a neurosurgeon tell me that it's not. I'm getting a second opinion tomorrow, so it's just how

• 2:57:25Speaker 01

  Surgery, just line it up?

• 2:57:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, for sure. But yeah, I am happy and you will find happiness too.

• 2:57:31Speaker 01

  Fucking crazy how we fight so hard to get to that place and then right when you get to that place, we're at an age

• 2:57:37Bunnie XO?

  Somebody tries to take it, yeah, it's just crazy, but the devil's not gonna win, I'm telling you, man, I have this, I am the type of person who looks at anything that could be bad, potentially.

• 2:57:47Speaker 01

  Wonder if it's only temporary or it's only what you choose to make of it, but there's not any real happiness, it's just a mind state or a feeling that you have that will always end up being temporary.

• 2:58:00Bunnie XO?

  I feel like happiness is peace, happiness is comfort, happiness

• 2:58:04Speaker 01

  Is it something we choose or is it an actual destination?

• 2:58:08Bunnie XO?

  I don't think we're ever gonna get to that destination because I feel like life is a journey.

• 2:58:13Speaker 01

  Or is it just a manmade word that means nothing?

• 2:58:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, seriously, I genuinely believe that happiness is a journey and there's levels to it, that you're gonna be super happy one day, you're gonna be down here one, you know, like, there's so many levels of happiness. And I think whatever one that your heart, that sets your soul on fire and that your heart recognizes, that's your happiness for this life, because that's what you picked for your soul contract before you came down here. Everything that you've gone through in your life, you've already picked this out to happen to you.

• 2:58:45Speaker 01

  Oh, Lord Jesus, please don't say that, because I would never have picked Holly.

• 2:58:49Bunnie XO?

  You say that, you say that, but maybe your soul was yearning for that lesson, you know, before you came down here, you were like

• 2:58:56Speaker 01

  I feel like all I've been gotten in life is lessons. I'm kinda wanna get to the stage where I get a bunch of rewards.

• 2:59:02Bunnie XO?

  And you will, but you have-

• 2:59:04Speaker 01

  OnlyFans has been the only thing that's done that. Imagine it's going back to a place that's supposedly Trauma Land as a sex worker. But like, Trauma Land is the only place that's actually like properly rewarding me.

• 2:59:18Bunnie XO?

  But you're taking your power back. That's, in some way, you're taking your power back. No man can tell you what to do. You're making your own fucking money. You're shooting your own content. You are your own boss. This is your little baby that nobody can take from you and that you, only you are doing. You know what I'm saying? So in a way, you are taking your power back. You're taking your power back from Diddy, who told you that you're promiscuous and that you can't work for him because you're this type of person. You're taking your power back from Polly, who told you you can't wear low-cut shirts. You're taking your power back from Dawn, who obviously hurt you-

• 2:59:52Speaker 01

  Chose his family over me.

• 2:59:52Bunnie XO?

  And chose his family over you, you know? Like, there's just little bits and pieces here. So maybe your happiness is not OnlyFans. Maybe your happiness is not being told what to do and being able to just be Aubrey.

• 3:00:10Bunnie XO?

  You wanna hug?

• 3:00:12Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 3:00:12Bunnie XO?

  Let's hug. Aww. Sorry. Yeah, like two and a half hours. And then we'll close this podcast out with a hug, but Aubrey, thank you so much for coming. I'm giving like ass to the camera.

• 3:00:29Bunnie XO?

  Thank you so much for coming.

• 3:00:33Bunnie XO?

  Wait, tell everybody, it's getting crazy over here. Tell every- Tell everybody your OnlyFans where they can find it.

• 3:00:43Bunnie XO?

  She loves that skunk breath, I'm telling you. Tell everybody your OnlyFans.

• 3:00:48Speaker 01

  My OnlyFans, oh my god, I don't even, um, uh, ooh, I don't know. It's on my, it's on my, on my Instagram, @aubreyodean.

• 3:00:57Bunnie XO?

  Just Google Aubrey O'Day, you'll find it. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.