Pretty Little Episode #26

Mae's childhood bedroom and Fortune's childhood drum kit are hot topics on a throwback/brand new Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the program before sitting down to enjoy a school play? I'm in shambles. Turns out there's no intermission during this three-hour Shakespeare adaptation, and I really need to go to the bathroom. Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings

• 1:19Mae Martin?

  with a premium, professional website.

• 1:21Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:53Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 2:16Mae Martin?

  Pretty Little Episode.

• 2:19Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm. Welcome to the Pretty Little Episode. I'm your host for today, Fortune Feimster.

• 2:27Mae Martin?

  And I am Mae Martin, also hosting you today.

• 2:34Mae Martin?

  Hosting, I guess that's where it comes from. Like, host, we're hosting.

• 2:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, this is a party and we're hosting.

• 2:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:41Fortune Feimster?

  But we have no snacks to offer anybody.

• 2:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, no loot bags.

• 2:45Fortune Feimster?

  Oh wait, I do have a cookie.

• 2:47Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 2:48Fortune Feimster?

  Someone gave me. I do have a lot of snacks around my office.

• 2:51Mae Martin?

  Was that from Milk Bar, that cookie? Okay, can we get them as a sponsor or something? They are so good.

• 2:58Fortune Feimster?

  Fuck, they're good.

• 2:59Mae Martin?

  Um, how are you Fortune? Oh my God, did you hear my voice just, I just saw that you're wearing a bear t-shirt.

• 3:06Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my gosh. I didn't even, that, honestly, I did not do that on purpose. I'm, is this triggering?

• 3:12Mae Martin?

  It honestly, it did, my blood ran cold for a second, but then I thought, no, it's powerful and cool. It's a big old grizzly, right?

• 3:19Fortune Feimster?

  It's a California, you know, because that's the, the, on the California flag is this bear.

• 3:24Mae Martin?

  Right. What is it, like a Kodak bear or something?

• 3:28Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know, but I really did not do it with any intentions of bringing back bad vibes.

• 3:33Mae Martin?

  I know, I'm like, is that a threat that Fortune's making?

• 3:39Mae Martin?

  How are you doing?

• 3:39Fortune Feimster?

  I'll do this.

• 3:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:42Mae Martin?

  Please, let it be free.

• 3:43Fortune Feimster?

  I'll, I'll clutch my pearls like this, so you can't see it. But that's the thing, though, we're in a new year, new me situation.

• 3:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and the bear has no power over you in that way anymore.

• 3:56Mae Martin?

  You're right.

• 3:57Fortune Feimster?

  And I don't think.

• 3:58Mae Martin?

  And the bear is no longer, like, that bear on your shirt is free, roaming free.

• 4:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, look at, there's a seagull up here.

• 4:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, love that.

• 4:07Fortune Feimster?

  Imagine this is water.

• 4:09Mae Martin?

  Love that.

• 4:10Fortune Feimster?

  The bear is out enjoying a nice day.

• 4:13Mae Martin?

  Yes, right?

• 4:15Fortune Feimster?

  Not trapped.

• 4:17Mae Martin?

  No.

• 4:18Fortune Feimster?

  And you're free as a bird, too.

• 4:20Mae Martin?

  I feel it. I feel it.

• 4:22Fortune Feimster?

  You feel good?

• 4:23Mae Martin?

  Flying dreams. I've been like, so I've been trying to get all spiritual and they're like, you've got to write down your dreams and, and in the morning and they're definitely messages from your subconscious. All my dreams are about celebrities these days, which is better than just like tormented dreams about my ex and stuff or my exes and various, you know, my fights with my parents and stuff. But all I'm dreaming about is Angelina Jolie, Paul Mescal, like weird, like people are popping in and they're usually like.

• 4:54Fortune Feimster?

  Those are handsome people.

• 4:56Mae Martin?

  With Angelina, it was like, I think we were cooking together or something, just really domestic, like celebrity moments.

• 5:02Fortune Feimster?

  I actually could see that happening.

• 5:04Mae Martin?

  Me and Angie?

• 5:06Fortune Feimster?

  Like cooking a dinner. I'm not saying it has to be romantic. It could be.

• 5:11Mae Martin?

  Cooking dinner?

• 5:12Fortune Feimster?

  Cause y'all are both sexy, but I could see y'all cooking a dinner together.

• 5:16Mae Martin?

  What do you think she cooks, though?

• 5:17Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think she's vegan, but she could be vegetarian.

• 5:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, it could be.

• 5:23Fortune Feimster?

  So some sort of like.

• 5:24Mae Martin?

  Vials of blood.

• 5:26Fortune Feimster?

  Vegetarian curry dish.

• 5:28Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, a vegetarian curry?

• 5:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, like with tofu.

• 5:32Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 5:32Fortune Feimster?

  Tasty rice.

• 5:33Mae Martin?

  If she cooked something with coconut in it, I would just eat it and not tell her I'm allergic.

• 5:38Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God, I forgot about that.

• 5:40Mae Martin?

  I would feel bad.

• 5:41Fortune Feimster?

  Bring it up all your.

• 5:46Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, but does all curry have coconut? Is it all coconut milk?

• 5:49Mae Martin?

  No, there's definitely ones without it.

• 5:51Fortune Feimster?

  Okay. I was like, oh, no.

• 5:53Mae Martin?

  Do you dream about celebrities ever where you wake up and you feel like you know them?

• 5:56Fortune Feimster?

  I don't have a dream, but I did just have something last night that felt like a dream. And this is gonna sound like bragging, but you did ask me and so, well, and not in a direct way, but.

• 6:07Mae Martin?

  No, I love it. If it's about a celebrity, I want to hear.

• 6:09Fortune Feimster?

  I was at a party and I was, Jax and I were talking to a guy I just worked with. And Jax goes, oh, my God, that's J Lo. I love J Lo.

• 6:20Mae Martin?

  Oh, God.

• 6:21Fortune Feimster?

  And I was like, and I said, I was like, I love, I love J Lo. And she walked past and I was like, and she, but she was kind of like in a train, you know, where like she didn't want to really make eye contact with people. So she had her hands, I think on the back of her publicist's shoulders.

• 6:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah, okay.

• 6:36Fortune Feimster?

  And she kind of was trying not to make eye contact with people, but she looked right over to me and she went. Hey, I love you. I'm a big fan.

• 6:46Mae Martin?

  No.

• 6:47Fortune Feimster?

  She didn't say I love you. Hey, I'm a big fan. And shook my hand.

• 6:52Mae Martin?

  Fortune.

• 6:54Fortune Feimster?

  Dude.

• 6:54Mae Martin?

  What did the handshake feel like?

• 6:56Fortune Feimster?

  A firm, proper handshake.

• 6:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, of course.

• 7:00Fortune Feimster?

  She's professional.

• 7:01Mae Martin?

  She's a businesswoman. Oh, my God. And she, you actually had eye contact?

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  Full on eye contact. Hey, hey, like, hey.

• 7:09Mae Martin?

  Hey.

• 7:09Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a, and I did have the I love you. I took that back.

• 7:13Mae Martin?

  Hey.

• 7:14Fortune Feimster?

  I take that back.

• 7:15Mae Martin?

  I want to marry you. Hey.

• 7:16Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a big fan handshake.

• 7:18Mae Martin?

  And then, did you return the compliment? Did you say?

• 7:21Fortune Feimster?

  I said, I love you. Thank you. And she kept, the train kept moving, but her publicist did look back like, who did she say that to?

• 7:29Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, that's incredible. Of everyone there, she was like, fortune.

• 7:33Fortune Feimster?

  That was a good one.

• 7:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's fucking great. That's great.

• 7:36Fortune Feimster?

  Kevin Bacon also said it too, and I, so it was a big night for me.

• 7:40Mae Martin?

  I met Kevin Bacon once at a party with, as Brett Goldstein's plus one, and of everyone there, he, I've never been more starstruck. He has like a star quality. He's just like an old time.

• 7:52Fortune Feimster?

  Kind of chill. He's like, what's up? He's like, what's up? I really like your work.

• 7:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:58Fortune Feimster?

  Thanks, man. I really like yours.

• 8:00Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, he's so great.

• 8:01Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, I go, this is my wife. He goes, hey, how long you guys been married? She's like, four, married ten together. He's like, yeah, thirty six over here. That's, you know, that's a long time.

• 8:14Mae Martin?

  Sounds electric for this conversation. But he is so, he's so handsome though, isn't he?

• 8:22Fortune Feimster?

  He's very handsome. Just like chill. He has no pretensions, uh, pretentious stuff. It's just really, what's up?

• 8:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:29Fortune Feimster?

  So, you know, obviously my validation doesn't come through that stuff, but it is cool. Every now and then, you know?

• 8:37Mae Martin?

  Oh, man, you're feeling, you're feeling a little existential and low, and then J Lo goes, hey, keep at it.

• 8:43Fortune Feimster?

  That's exactly what happened, May. I've been kinda, I'd been on a break for two weeks. Hadn't been thinking about work, hadn't been thinking about anything, just feeling a little, vibrations are low. And she just got it like, hey, yeah, thank you. It was like a nice reminder.

• 9:00Mae Martin?

  Zapped you right, right in the soul.

• 9:03Fortune Feimster?

  Right in the cooter.

• 9:04Mae Martin?

  Zapped you right in the cooter.

• 9:08Fortune Feimster?

  Hello.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  That's what I do this for.

• 9:12Fortune Feimster?

  Oh my God. I said, I do it all for you, baby.

• 9:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Oh, my God. That's amazing. Um, should we see what our listeners are feeling, what they're saying, what they're wanting to talk about?

• 9:25Speaker 04

  Hey there, handsome pod. Fortune, May, Tig. Man, I love all of you. You're so fucking great. You just make my afternoons so much better. My name's Erin. I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico.

• 9:40Fortune Feimster?

  Hi, Erin.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  My question for you, what did your childhood bedroom look like? How did you decorate it? You know, stuff like that.

• 9:53Fortune Feimster?

  This pod, more than anything in my life, has me reflecting back on childhood.

• 9:59Mae Martin?

  Me too.

• 10:00Fortune Feimster?

  In a way that I haven't in years.

• 10:03Mae Martin?

  Okay, this might take me a second. So like, Thomas, if we have to cut out pause, but I'm gonna find a picture of my childhood bedroom and then send it to you, Fortune. And then maybe you could describe what you see, because it's.

• 10:13Fortune Feimster?

  I can't believe you have a picture. I don't have one.

• 10:16Mae Martin?

  Oh, you don't?

• 10:17Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 10:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, got it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Oh, my God.

• 10:21Fortune Feimster?

  You're sending it?

• 10:22Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I'm sending it to you, Fortune, and I'll send it to you as well, Thomas. Actually, I'll send it to Tig as well. Okay, I'm gonna send this to Fortune, Thomas, and Tig.

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 10:33Mae Martin?

  And then, okay, I've just sent it. So this is me. I'm probably nine, maybe 10.

• 10:40Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, here it is.

• 10:44Mae Martin?

  So, okay, maybe describe what you're seeing.

• 10:46Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, so May just sent the handsome pod a picture of their childhood bedroom. Wow.

• 10:55Mae Martin?

  And if you zoom in on the wall.

• 10:57Fortune Feimster?

  So.

• 11:00Fortune Feimster?

  You kind of have like a Justin Bieber vibe.

• 11:03Mae Martin?

  Oh, I'm looking.

• 11:04Fortune Feimster?

  Personally.

• 11:05Mae Martin?

  Ferris Bueller is probably what I was going for.

• 11:07Fortune Feimster?

  Your hair is very brown.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 11:10Fortune Feimster?

  You're in a very tomboyish, the best way to describe it outfit. And around you are, well, you have, your comforter is a map of the world.

• 11:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I remember that.

• 11:21Fortune Feimster?

  Wise beyond your years already.

• 11:23Mae Martin?

  Memories in the country.

• 11:25Fortune Feimster?

  Really wanted to discover the world. You have a lot of stuffed animals. There's a monkey.

• 11:31Mae Martin?

  And my hair is doing a kind of swoop. It is kind of a Bieber swoop, isn't it?

• 11:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, the Bieber swoop. That might have been a Canadian thing.

• 11:38Mae Martin?

  Maybe.

• 11:39Fortune Feimster?

  You have a monkey, stuffed animal monkey on a, hanging from like a.

• 11:46Mae Martin?

  Like a hammock.

• 11:47Fortune Feimster?

  A hammock.

• 11:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 11:49Fortune Feimster?

  You have a lot of monkeys, stuffed monkeys. And then on the wall, it's all women.

• 11:56Mae Martin?

  Well, zoom in, it's only one woman.

• 11:58Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, it's only one woman. Bette Midler?

• 12:00Mae Martin?

  It's Bette Midler. I was obsessed. And it's, they're like sexy pictures of Bette Midler. Like, it's clearly, I'm in, in love with her.

• 12:11Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, Tig just texted, oh my lord, what was this your fire orgy?

• 12:16Mae Martin?

  Fire orgy. Also, you look almost the same.

• 12:19Fortune Feimster?

  That is so funny.

• 12:22Mae Martin?

  It's just the horniest picture, I think. Like, like my vibe is so like, what's up ladies?

• 12:26Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, like this is your Tinder profile.

• 12:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:30Fortune Feimster?

  Tig says, very cute, but more handsome now.

• 12:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:34Fortune Feimster?

  And so many monkeys. Tig wrote so many monkeys.

• 12:37Mae Martin?

  So many monkeys, yeah.

• 12:39Fortune Feimster?

  And I like your style, kid. That's Tig's take.

• 12:43Mae Martin?

  Tig's really responsive to this photo. This is great.

• 12:48Fortune Feimster?

  Let's get her on the pod.

• 12:49Mae Martin?

  Let's get her on the pod, yeah.

• 12:53Fortune Feimster?

  I just FaceTimed her and put her into this.

• 13:00Fortune Feimster?

  I have to say, I loved Bette Midler as well as a kid.

• 13:04Mae Martin?

  Did you really?

• 13:05Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, and the reason why she was on my radar, well, A, the movie Beaches.

• 13:11Mae Martin?

  Of course.

• 13:12Fortune Feimster?

  Is one of the greatest movies ever made.

• 13:14Mae Martin?

  That's incredible.

• 13:15Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know how old I was when it came out, but I sobbed like a idiot.

• 13:21Mae Martin?

  My mom showed me, yeah, Beaches and all her other ones.

• 13:25Fortune Feimster?

  My best friend's dad, you know, Bette's nickname was the Divine Miss M.

• 13:30Mae Martin?

  Divine, of course, yeah.

• 13:32Fortune Feimster?

  And my first name's Emily, Fortune's my middle name.

• 13:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:36Fortune Feimster?

  And he would call me the Divine Miss M whenever he saw me.

• 13:41Mae Martin?

  Oh, I love that.

• 13:42Fortune Feimster?

  And so she was very much on my radar because of that.

• 13:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I used to listen to her albums. She was just, she's vivacious, confident.

• 13:52Fortune Feimster?

  What was some of her other?

• 13:54Mae Martin?

  Risky Business? No, not Risky Business. Risky.

• 13:58Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, I know what you're talking about.

• 14:00Mae Martin?

  You know what I'm talking about. Fuck, what is it?

• 14:02Fortune Feimster?

  I'm picturing her in the outfit and the big hat.

• 14:05Mae Martin?

  Hocus Pocus, of course, for me, but.

• 14:07Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 14:08Mae Martin?

  Before that, it was like Bette Midler movies.

• 14:11Fortune Feimster?

  Now I'm gonna have to IMDb it.

• 14:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah, me too, sorry. Ruthless People, Ruthless People.

• 14:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yes.

• 14:17Mae Martin?

  I remember her episode of Seinfeld was hilarious.

• 14:20Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think I saw that.

• 14:22Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, Kramer is in love with her. It's just hilarious. And he makes her, he makes a macaroni middler. He makes a statue of Bette Midler out of macaroni.

• 14:30Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 14:31Mae Martin?

  And he brings it to her in hospital because George accidentally injures her.

• 14:37Mae Martin?

  What was your childhood bedroom like?

• 14:39Fortune Feimster?

  So my, when I was little, little, I didn't have a bedroom. I was having to sleep in my parents' room because my parents liked to collect things.

• 14:51Mae Martin?

  Gotcha.

• 14:51Fortune Feimster?

  Junk. So what would have been my bedroom was full of junk.

• 14:56Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 14:57Fortune Feimster?

  And um, so I didn't really have a bedroom till I was, or maybe I was in the junk. I honestly don't remember. I'll have to ask my mom. Uh, I went to Girl Scout camp. Shout out, you know, it always comes back to Girl Scouts. I think I was like seven.

• 15:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:15Fortune Feimster?

  And when I came home, my, my sibling, my brothers and my parents had taken the whole weekend to clean out that room.

• 15:23Mae Martin?

  Oh, wow.

• 15:25Fortune Feimster?

  And um, painted it, but like they made it the girliest room.

• 15:31Mae Martin?

  Oh my.

• 15:31Fortune Feimster?

  Imagine.

• 15:32Mae Martin?

  God, pink.

• 15:33Fortune Feimster?

  So, pink walls.

• 15:35Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 15:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, like an antique bed, a blue and pink comforter, a little pink, um, love seat couch. A dresser. Everything was pink. A pink little, another thing to put like a little tiny TV on.

• 15:53Mae Martin?

  But were you just pumped to have your own space?

• 15:55Fortune Feimster?

  I was so pumped.

• 15:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:58Fortune Feimster?

  Just, yeah, I didn't care that it was all pink. I was so thrilled to just like, oh my god, I've got my own space. It's clean. I can shut the door and keep you psychos out of my room.

• 16:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:14Fortune Feimster?

  And it, that mentality has stayed with me for years of just like, I've got my own space. It's, yeah, it's clean. It's mine.

• 16:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:24Fortune Feimster?

  I'm good now.

• 16:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, that's, I like that a lot. And you can curate it and be, yeah.

• 16:30Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And over time, I put lots of Teeny Bopper magazine things on the walls.

• 16:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah, would you cut out like, boys that you've had a crush on or, or just random stuff?

• 16:40Fortune Feimster?

  Boys, a lot of boys. New Kids on the Block was all over my wall.

• 16:45Mae Martin?

  New Kids on the Block.

• 16:46Fortune Feimster?

  And probably like Joey Lawrence, like, you know, the blossom days, kind of that.

• 16:51Mae Martin?

  Blossom, yes.

• 16:53Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:54Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I think I kind of had like a blossom energy at some point in my life and I really am embarrassed.

• 16:59Fortune Feimster?

  Were hats with flowers on them?

• 17:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, just kind of like, hey, like kind of.

• 17:04Fortune Feimster?

  I did butcher up my room at one point when I got to high school with a drum set.

• 17:09Mae Martin?

  Oh, sick. I had a drum set, but I never played it. Did you play yours?

• 17:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but mine was terrible because um, my, I had been talked for years about wanting to learn how to play the drums, but um. It was also like a little masculine, so I didn't, you know, I, I wrestled with that.

• 17:25Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 17:27Fortune Feimster?

  And my dad, back in the day, used to buy a lot of stuff from like pawn shops. And he, he bought me a golf, a golf club once and he goes, I got you a golf club and your initials are engraved in it. I'll go, oh, wow, that's cool. And it was a used golf club and the, the initials were just like the brand.

• 17:48Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 17:49Fortune Feimster?

  And I was like.

• 17:51Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 17:52Fortune Feimster?

  Listen, man, I'm on to you. Um, and he bought me a drum set from a pawn shop. Now, the, the bass drum worked and the cymbals worked, but like the snare drum was busted.

• 18:07Fortune Feimster?

  It was a piece of shit. But I was so pumped to have a drum, so I played ish, but it's, nothing was in tune. It was all like janky. It was just a bunch of noise.

• 18:19Mae Martin?

  I also just want to say, like, we are the last generation that we can just go on YouTube and be like, learn how to play drums. Like, you'd have to be like, is there a book on how to do this? Like, or get a teacher?

• 18:31Fortune Feimster?

  Is there a teacher? It costs you money.

• 18:34Mae Martin?

  These days, yeah, anything you need is on YouTube. You could basically build a house by being like, YouTube, how do I build a house? What do I need?

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  You really could.

• 18:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, seriously. Should we?

• 18:45Fortune Feimster?

  Hmm, I don't know if I'd want to live in.

• 18:48Mae Martin?

  How's it we built?

• 18:51Fortune Feimster?

  I trust you guys, not me.

• 18:53Mae Martin?

  I don't trust myself. I trust Thomas to build a house.

• 18:56Fortune Feimster?

  I would not be handy.

• 18:57Mae Martin?

  Me neither. I think you and I are the, like, the princesses of the pod, really. Like, Tig, I think, would get her hands dirty and build that house. You and me would be like. Yeah. I just want to gossip.

• 19:10Fortune Feimster?

  I love it. Let's hear what Erin had to say.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Admittedly, you know, I might not be too thrilled to say that I had floral sheets. I had a poster of Luke Perry in my closet. I had some fairy pictures up. I had a little boombox that I would friggin blast, you know, cassette tapes on and sing my heart out, um, you know?

• 19:37Mae Martin?

  The little boombox is very, uh, yeah, I had, I would record songs from the radio onto my tape. Yeah, yeah.

• 19:44Fortune Feimster?

  And don't worry, May, if you're okay with it, we'll post your childhood bedroom picture. When this episode comes out.

• 19:52Mae Martin?

  It's so crazy. We have to. It's, I am the, I'm such a little boy in it. Yeah.

• 19:58Fortune Feimster?

  Love it.

• 19:59Speaker 05

  Hey handsome pod, this is Tyler from Philadelphia. I'm wondering what your strange food combination is that you really love or that you did love when you were a kid? And I'm not talking about like pineapple on pizza. That's normal stuff. People just pretend that that's weird. I'm talking about like a food combination that other people would frown upon or make fun of you for.

• 20:23Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 20:23Speaker 05

  What is your strange food pairing that you really love?

• 20:28Mae Martin?

  Fortune, your reaction says it all. You got one.

• 20:32Fortune Feimster?

  This podcast is making me reveal too much.

• 20:39Mae Martin?

  Are you full of shame? Someone's gonna bring this combination to your shows.

• 20:44Fortune Feimster?

  There's one person in my life who knows about this.

• 20:47Mae Martin?

  Oh my God, this is a real exclusive.

• 20:50Fortune Feimster?

  This is exclusive. I never thought I would have to share, cause why would you? And he's my childhood best friend. We're still friends to this day. Shout out Brian. Um, and he used to see me eat this.

• 21:04Fortune Feimster?

  And it's so foul, May.

• 21:09Mae Martin?

  I bet you there's gonna be people listening that are like, I did that too.

• 21:13Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. They're gonna think it's disgusting. And it, and let me preface this by saying, I would never eat this now or in, since then, in like, there's no world in which you could even pay me to eat this.

• 21:29Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 21:31Fortune Feimster?

  It'll sound sad when I say this.

• 21:36Fortune Feimster?

  I'm fine. We're fine. My family, it's not like we were destitute, but we, times were very tight often. My mom was a school teacher, especially after my parents split, the money was scarce. So we didn't always have like fresh food in the house.

• 21:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:57Fortune Feimster?

  And when you don't have a lot of money, you just eat like shitty things because it's cheap and it, things with preservatives because it lasts forever. And so we rarely, um, there was a time when money was super tight and we didn't have often fresh milk.

• 22:13Fortune Feimster?

  Um, I don't know where this is going. I'm not saying we never had milk. My mom's gonna be like, we had milk. There were times that it was tight. So we weren't going to the grocery store. Um, I, so we would always have like cereal. Cereal was easy to keep. It lasted a while. Um, and we had frosted, we love the sugary cereals. So we had frosted flakes.

• 22:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah, love it.

• 22:34Fortune Feimster?

  Didn't have milk.

• 22:35Mae Martin?

  Oh my God.

• 22:38Fortune Feimster?

  So you gotta, you gotta make do, you know, you gotta, I'm hungry. There's not a lot of food in the fridge and one thing that also lasts forever is mustard.

• 22:52Mae Martin?

  Wait a second. I did not see that coming. Wait, I thought you were gonna say like orange juice and frosties or like, wait, what do you mean mustard? What do you mean?

• 23:03Fortune Feimster?

  You put mustard.

• 23:05Mae Martin?

  That's not a liquid. It's not, that's not a milk substitute.

• 23:09Fortune Feimster?

  And I would swirl it around. It, I have, I've always loved like a sweet and salty combo.

• 23:17Mae Martin?

  So are we talking like yellow French's mustard?

• 23:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yellow French's mustard. Sugary, sweet frosted flakes.

• 23:23Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 23:25Fortune Feimster?

  And I can't even describe what it just tastes like crunchy mustard.

• 23:29Mae Martin?

  You know, I'm, I'm really trying to taste it in my mouth and I think I do kind of get it. Like, it's kind of like, like Thai sweet chili chips or something like the like, that's what I'm picturing. Like the Lay's Thai sweet chili.

• 23:42Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know how I created this other than, oh, I have this in the cabinet and this in the cabinet.

• 23:48Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 23:50Fortune Feimster?

  And I'm hungry.

• 23:52Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 23:52Fortune Feimster?

  And so the only person I would let see me do this was my friend, Brian.

• 23:58Mae Martin?

  Good old Brian.

• 23:58Fortune Feimster?

  And he would always be like, what is this? And then even when we did have, I got accustomed to really loving it. So when we did have milk, I was like, I don't need it.

• 24:08Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 24:10Fortune Feimster?

  I got my combo here. That probably stopped when I was about fifteen.

• 24:17Mae Martin?

  Whoa, up till fifteen?

• 24:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I think I did it from like, maybe ten to fifteen.

• 24:23Mae Martin?

  It sounds like you got a taste for it. Yeah, like you were like.

• 24:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I got a taste for it. It ended up being delicious to me.

• 24:29Mae Martin?

  I think we, Thomas, we should put on the list, trying this recipe.

• 24:34Fortune Feimster?

  It'd be so grossed out. So anyway, that's wildly embarrassing.

• 24:38Mae Martin?

  No, it's not.

• 24:39Fortune Feimster?

  That's how much I love the pond.

• 24:41Mae Martin?

  That's incredible and I couldn't have guessed it. I couldn't have guessed it. It would have been worse if it was like mayo or something. I can get behind like the flavor combo. Yeah, yeah.

• 24:50Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you for, thank you for being there for me.

• 24:52Mae Martin?

  Well, I want to try it.

• 24:54Fortune Feimster?

  Do you have one?

• 24:56Mae Martin?

  Not combining things. No, that wasn't my arena of creativity.

• 25:01Fortune Feimster?

  You like to keep things in their place?

• 25:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah, keep things in their place. Uh, no, maybe like celery and cheese whiz, but that wasn't that weird at the time.

• 25:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 25:10Mae Martin?

  In Canada, uh, our big thing was like, our parents didn't let us have cans of whipped cream. And so anytime they would go out for dinner and leave me and my brother, we would run to the corner store and we'd buy a whole can of Miracle Whip. And we would eat the whole thing.

• 25:25Fortune Feimster?

  You of, um, wait, of whipped cream, you mean?

• 25:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah, not, not Miracle Whip, like, um, Ready Whip, Ready Whip. That's it.

• 25:32Fortune Feimster?

  Ready Whip. Okay.

• 25:34Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god. I want it now.

• 25:36Fortune Feimster?

  Ready with an I.

• 25:37Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 25:38Fortune Feimster?

  And whip with no H.

• 25:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, really.

• 25:41Fortune Feimster?

  They're really.

• 25:42Mae Martin?

  They're really mixing up.

• 25:43Fortune Feimster?

  Their own thing.

• 25:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Should we hear Lee's answer?

• 25:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 05

  I actually have two answers from when I was a kid. One, I used to put sprinkles inside of slices of cheese and like roll them up and eat them just like that, just sprinkles and cheese. Mmm, super good. I also used to dip, around Philadelphia, we called them Ho Ho's. They're like little chocolate Swiss rolls. I would dip those in cheese sauce. So I think, you know, the theme here is cheese. Both sound disgusting. And when I was eight, I was really convinced that they were delicious. Thanks so much. Love your pod.

• 26:22Mae Martin?

  Thanks, Lee.

• 26:23Fortune Feimster?

  Amazing.

• 26:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, those little mini chocolate roll things in a cheese sauce. Wow.

• 26:28Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 26:29Mae Martin?

  Okay, we got a lot to try.

• 26:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, we do.

• 26:33Mae Martin?

  Oh, man.

• 26:33Fortune Feimster?

  I love it. Well, what a, what another fun podcast.

• 26:37Mae Martin?

  What a podcast.

• 26:38Fortune Feimster?

  I learned about your childhood bedroom. You learned about my weird eating childhood things.

• 26:43Mae Martin?

  Yeah, love it. We're always learning.

• 26:45Fortune Feimster?

  Flakes.

• 26:45Mae Martin?

  It's made me want a hot dog. I'm thinking about mustard and, yeah.

• 26:49Fortune Feimster?

  All right.

• 26:50Mae Martin?

  All right, I'm off to have a hot dog. But keep sending in your questions, please. We really love them. You can go to speakpipe.com/hansampod and send in your question and your answer, please.

• 27:00Fortune Feimster?

  Absolutely. Thank you, guys, for listening. Check out our full episode on Tuesday. And until then,

• 27:07Mae Martin?

  Keep it.

• 27:07Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it pretty handsome.

• 27:10Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. And please follow us on social media, at HandsomePod.

• 27:26Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast.

• 27:27Speaker 00

  What a podcast.