#151 - Are You Garbage?

Dear friends of the show Kevin Ryan and H. Foley from Are You Garbage? return to the pod to discuss their S-tier airport meals, how they’re highly intellectual conversationalists, why deli guys at the supermarket are bad news, the travails of Ozempic, their upcoming shows including a major show at The Met in their hometown of Philly, and much more. Kevin, Foley and Stav help callers including a guy whose wife is pregnant after they opened up their marriage to another dude, and a guy who found out his tattoo artist is a bigot but still has one more session to go. See the Are You Garbage? boys live! Get tickets at https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows Follow Are You Garbage? on social media: www.youtube.com/@AreYouGarbage https://www.instagram.com/areyougarbage/ https://www.tiktok.com/@areyougarbage https://twitter.com/areyougarbage Upgrade your wallet today! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code STAVVY at https://www. Ridge.com/STAVVY #Ridgepod Head to Green Chef at http://greenchef.com/50stavvy and use code 50STAVVY to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off the next two months with free shipping. Visit https://mintmobile.com/stavvy to get a 3-month premium wireless plan for just $15/month. Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code STAVVY at https://mudwtr.com/STAVVY #mudwtrpod Grow your business right now at Shopify -- no matter what stage you're in. Sign up for a $1/month trial at https://www.shopify.com/stavvy 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:17Speaker 01

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• 0:47Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stav's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. What a beautiful day. We have our boys, Are You Garbage?

• 0:59Stavros Halkias?

  Back on the fucking couch.

• 1:01Speaker 03

  Shout out to it, dude.

• 1:02Speaker 04

  I like how the intro music's now on a boombox.

• 1:06Stavros Halkias?

  You're in our temporary Manhattan studios here in the NYU Tisch School.

• 1:11Speaker 04

  Nice joint.

• 1:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:13Speaker 04

  A real nice joint.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  This is wild.

• 1:15Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis is now an adjunct professor of podcast production.

• 1:19Speaker 03

  This is on campus. This is so crazy, dude.

• 1:23Stavros Halkias?

  We're right next to the dean's office.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  Dude, we walked in the building. The guy was like, what the fuck are you? Look like we're here to fix the air conditioning.

• 1:31Speaker 05

  I wonder what they think when I come in. I come in like every single day and I'm like, hey, going to Stav's.

• 1:36Speaker 04

  Probably thinking GI Bill. They see you coming through the door. 0.4 GPA. Hanging in there.

• 1:43Stavros Halkias?

  How dare you. Eldis was a strong 3.4.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  That's good.

• 1:47Stavros Halkias?

  English major.

• 1:49Speaker 05

  No, I was better than that. I think I was a 3.6 at least, not to brag.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  You finished college?

• 1:53Speaker 03

  3.6 is great.

• 1:55Speaker 05

  I did finish college. I had a real bad year sophomore year. I was like super depressed. I failed a Shakespeare class. That didn't feel good. That should be like.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  And that made you depressed?

• 2:04Speaker 05

  No, that was kind of because of depression. Yeah, reading Shakespeare didn't help the depression.

• 2:11Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 2:11Speaker 05

  But, you know, yeah, I was good in school. I was out there.

• 2:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're talking to a couple of good students here, fellas.

• 2:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  You too? I was, yeah, yeah. Were you?

• 2:20Speaker 03

  You're quite, you're quite intellectual.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  I wasn't intellectual.

• 2:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean.

• 2:23Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, when I first- You guys are so fucking stupid.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  I had a two-five at Temple University. Two-four-nine, I rounded up.

• 2:32Stavros Halkias?

  I resent that comment. Put my glasses on. Yeah, the number one idiot thing, thinking putting glasses on makes you smart.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Put them on upside down.

• 2:42Stavros Halkias?

  Go for a bit.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  When I first, when I, you started, first came to this city, I didn't, obviously, you know, you were brand new and you were hanging out with Bobby a lot. And you'd be on YKWD and I'd be like, this guy is a fucking genius. I was like, dude, he knows about everything.

• 2:56Stavros Halkias?

  He was missing a tooth, though.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  I know.

• 2:58Stavros Halkias?

  That came later. The missing tooth came later.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  But then, then you really fell apart at the seams and I was like, alright, maybe, maybe this guy doesn't have it all together.

• 3:04Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I was running on-

• 3:05Speaker 03

  As much as I thought.

• 3:05Stavros Halkias?

  I was running on fumes. There was like, the way I see it is like, I stopped, once I started comedy for real, I was like, alright, this is where my brain is going. Yeah, and everything else just, it has to break down to zero. It's, that's a hundred, I've cannibalized all my knowledge. Sure. To just be a little better at comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's pathetic to be able to do podcasts. Mm-hmm. And so, right when I moved was the tail end of like my inherited knowledge from when I was in college. Sure. And then it was just, you know, twenty-five, the, twenty-five to twenty-six, and then twenty-six, twenty-seven, I was a fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Flowers for Algernon, basically, where I just became a fucking idiot all over again. Read memoirs of a geisha or something like that? I have about-

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  Sorry, it's a literary reference. It does work. I should- I read Atlas Shrugged. I felt stupid. I mean, that's hysterical. You guys read that? Atlas Shrugged? Yeah. That's the one book you've read?

• 3:58Speaker 03

  No, he didn't read it. I gotta call him out. He didn't read, he read, you might have read the cover.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  I read most of it. How did you feel about Atlas Shrugged?

• 4:05Speaker 04

  I thought it was cool.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  Those wizards were weird.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  I have about five minutes on pretty much like any arena. I got about five minutes where I can sound smart. I went to.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  Dude, I mean, you know, you make me, you make, you come, you make statements like that.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  I do, I do.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  This is why people think I'm an asshole, because I can't just let you lie.

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Five minutes on any topic.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  What? Atlas Shrugged, the book you said you read.

• 4:28Speaker 04

  It's about a guy named Henry Reardon. It's really an intellectual piece.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Uh huh.

• 4:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, is it?

• 4:32Speaker 03

  He's vamping already, second line in.

• 4:34Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, it's an intellectual piece, huh?

• 4:36Speaker 04

  Folks, we'll be right back. With Oasis.

• 4:42Speaker 04

  I went to a wedding one time and somehow I got sat next to, I swear to God, a NASA scientist. This older guy. And I don't know, I had literally just the right amount. I had like two and a half beers in me.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  That's a good amount.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  A couple of bacon wraps, wraps scallops. And I had a five minute conversation with this guy. And he went to my parents afterwards, he's like, you know, your son is very intelligent. I was like, I saw that shit on Ancient Aliens last night.

• 5:07Speaker 03

  Your hair's all fucked up.

• 5:11Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's fucking awesome.

• 5:13Speaker 04

  Did we go to the moon?

• 5:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  Or maybe not, like some ancient astronaut theorists project.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  I got. Sounds very intelligent, this fucking dumbass.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  I got nothing in the tank to talk to anybody about. I'll just ask questions to sound and I feel like if I get a couple of good questions, you know, how's that happen?

• 5:32Stavros Halkias?

  Ask a clarifying question, they tell you something like, mm, so that's actually, so what is that? How does that implicate the other thing? You have to kind of like.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  I go, oh, yeah, yeah.

• 5:41Stavros Halkias?

  Within the conversation.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  Within the five words you got, you gotta bridge two of them together.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  Hit him with, are you happy in your work?

• 5:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's, that's always smart.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  Ooh, Santa Fe chicken wraps, hang on. One second.

• 5:53Stavros Halkias?

  And do you find that fulfilling? That's good, because you make them be introspective.

• 5:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 5:57Stavros Halkias?

  Now, now it's not about facts, now it's about emotions.

• 6:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:00Stavros Halkias?

  Now we've entered the, the artist's arena.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 6:03Stavros Halkias?

  And I know you at that wedding felt that way. You were a thespian, I'm sure.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  For sure. I can hit, I can do, I can do, I, I got like one or two half Shakespeare monologues in me. I got two or three, I got like, like an E. Cummings quote.

• 6:17Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 6:17Speaker 04

  I can hit you something from the beginning of, uh, uh, the love song of jail for proof rock by T. S. Eliot from Dante's Inferno. After that, it's all Phillies.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  The end of Home Alone, if you want it.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  That's my granddaughter up there.

• 6:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's interesting. That reminds me of the end of Aladdin when he says, when he sets the genie free.

• 6:45Speaker 04

  Jafar was really a tortured individual.

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have a favorite, now, do you have a favorite production you were in fully, any kind, because now we're talking Shakespeare? Did you ever talk about, you like, uh, acting?

• 6:59Speaker 04

  Back then?

• 6:59Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, just that.

• 7:00Speaker 04

  Currently?

• 7:00Stavros Halkias?

  Not currently, at any point, at any point in your acting career, before, before we got you to, you know? Had a little bit of mustard on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  By the way, we never talked about this. Do you remember the conversation, me, you, and, uh, who the fuck else was sitting there? When Thomas Hayden Church was sitting in the, in the office at Tires?

• 7:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 7:18Speaker 04

  We were having the fattest conversation.

• 7:20Stavros Halkias?

  We really were. It was me and you, and Thomas Hayden Church was just trapped between us. And we're talking about like, how we like to order, uh, yeah, how we like to order like bacon cheeseburgers. Like, we were having a, how do you get your money's worth? How do you get extra bacon for free? Level conversation, with just a great actor.

• 7:37Speaker 04

  That's what you do.

• 7:38Stavros Halkias?

  And he was like, mm, and he's like trying to be polite, like, you could tell in his heart what he wants to say is, shut the fuck up, you fat cocksuckers.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  I think I said something like, you feel like you're right back in Hollywood, huh?

• 7:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I don't remember, but it really was a wildly fat conversation.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  Oh dude, it was out of control.

• 7:56Stavros Halkias?

  Like, we should have been ashamed to be having it alone.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  I know.

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  Let alone on set in front of, you know, world renowned actors. Yeah, yeah.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  He was gorgeous, by the way.

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  He's a good looking guy.

• 8:04Speaker 04

  Good looking dude.

• 8:05Stavros Halkias?

  Great actor, too. All his scenes came out great in Tires.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was awesome, man, he was awesome.

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  He was fun to work with, but yeah, I did feel bad for him.

• 8:12Speaker 04

  I only did one actual production of twelve, or of, of Shakespeare. I did Twelfth Night at the Hedgerow Theater.

• 8:18Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Uh, and I played one of the cops.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  And I remember that, like, none of us knew what the fuck, like, you said, you studied Shakespeare. That's, first of all, that's one of those things that there's maybe, I don't know, 2,000 people in the world that should be allowed to perform that in front of other people. Theoretically.

• 8:35Stavros Halkias?

  Shakespeare, you're saying?

• 8:36Speaker 04

  Yes, for sure, and I, I mean, I'm real stupid, but you can't even understand what the fuck that guy's saying unless somebody breaks it.

• 8:45Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck are you talking about, dude?

• 8:47Speaker 04

  That's your mother, you sick fuck. Unless you have someone that can break it down. So we had to have, we, they hired some guy.

• 8:55Stavros Halkias?

  They hired a Philly trash translator? Yeah, this is in Delco, by the way.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  This isn't like Center City.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  It's an accredited institution.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  This isn't at the Miller Theater. This is like fucking YMCA level.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  He gets so mad. I literally, all's that to say is YMCA. He gets so mad.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Very, very good theater, very smart people.

• 9:17Speaker 04

  I just happen to be an idiot. They had to like bring somebody in to like explain, like I don't understand a language. It's an old English, you know what I mean? And that's a good one.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  You know, I started with New English, dude, by the way.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like Twelfth Night, you know?

• 9:30Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't have to be Shakespeare, just any production.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  I did Biloxi Blues. That was great.

• 9:34Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 9:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was fun.

• 9:35Stavros Halkias?

  What was your role in Biloxi Blues?

• 9:37Speaker 04

  Wykowski or whatever his name was, the, the, like the mean racist Polish guy.

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, that was cool.

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not familiar. That sounds good.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  Did Winnie the Pooh.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  A little more your speed. I'm more of an Eeyore man. This is fun.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  I was Eeyore. I did my Eeyore.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  No shit.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  And this was, this was children's theater. We had to do children's theater every Saturday and they packed this place out.

• 10:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that was probably the best.

• 10:02Speaker 04

  Dude, it was awesome.

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 10:04Speaker 04

  And, uh, me and my roommate, um, smoking a lot of weed at the time, a couple of other things. We were doing, uh...

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Should be hanging around at children on Saturdays. We were, we were fucking all coming off a bender, dressed as a fucking...

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Harry, shut up! Lie!

• 10:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Elders just decided to check the frame.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 10:26Stavros Halkias?

  We've been recording 10 minutes. It dawned on him he should maybe see...

• 10:29Speaker 04

  God, your goddamn movie's starting. Get away with that! Tom Soderbergh's directing this thing.

• 10:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's right, that's right.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  Shoot the whole thing from the floor.

• 10:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, he's doing a little adjustment. That's not a good sign.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Well, big man's walking the boards up here. He's scooching closer and closer to me.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  We did what we were, we were doing, um, uh, Winnie the Pooh. I think I've told you this, Kevin. And me and my roommate are like doing a scene back and forth and I come out and I'm like, what happened to Piglet's house? And I'm talking 150 kids and their parents packed in. They're hanging on every fucking word.

• 10:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  And the line's supposed to be Piglet's house blew down. And my roommate goes, I'll go, what happened to Piglet? And he's like, his house burned down.

• 11:10Stavros Halkias?

  Burned down and 200 kids like

• 11:15Speaker 04

  Fucking brutal.

• 11:16Stavros Halkias?

  He's ba- smell that? He's fucking bacon.

• 11:20Speaker 04

  Cooking them low and slow.

• 11:21Stavros Halkias?

  They wrapped him in a fucking crescent roll. He's a pig in the blank. He's a piglet in the blanket now.

• 11:26Speaker 04

  Did you study any acting before you did?

• 11:29Speaker 03

  I pictured that scene from Blades of Glory or whatever, when Will Ferrell's doing like the Disney on Ice and he's in That's how I think all fucked up. It's just a fucking puke in there.

• 11:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what was the costume setup?

• 11:42Speaker 04

  It wasn't great. It was like gray sweatpants.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  You got a boner, you're flopping.

• 11:48Stavros Halkias?

  Gray sweatpants and face paint, I guess? Or did you have a mask?

• 11:51Speaker 04

  A little bit of face paint and then like

• 11:53Speaker 03

  A set of ears or something?

• 11:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, a set of ears.

• 11:58Speaker 04

  It's bad.

• 11:59Stavros Halkias?

  And that was children's theater on top of a regular production like?

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, we did that every Saturday.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  During the week you would do, you know, Biloxi Blues?

• 12:07Speaker 04

  If we were in whatever. So the way it worked is we lived at the farmhouse that they had. We studied every day with different directors and all that kind of stuff, do like scene study class, movement classes and all that stuff. And then as you got in there, you would like start out like whatever the season was, because they were on like the Philadelphia Theater Circuit. So you would like, I'd do the lights and one kid would be working as a stagehand. And then when the next production came, we would get to audition for that. And if somebody would get a part in that and somebody, you know, wouldn't or whatever, then you just, you do everything.

• 12:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  And then eventually they did one for basically our class, because we had like, you know, like six or seven young guys. So we did Biloxi Blues. So we had like our run at some point during the time that we were there. And I remember we did that Winnie the Pooh at a, like an inner city camp for kids that like got to go out to the You fatty shit, yo.

• 13:01Speaker 04

  And we had to use, it was outside. We had to do microphones. It was August in like, somewhere in like Delaware County, like hottie shit. We were in a field basically. And the kid to play Winnie the Pooh was this big black dude and his costume was terrible. Like his shit was fucking coming undone. And we're going around with a cordless microphone. It was like fucking Maury. It was bad news.

• 13:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking beautiful. The arts are so beautiful.

• 13:25Speaker 04

  The arts are beautiful.

• 13:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  I don't, dude, I'm so, I come from like such just not, you know, I don't, I don't understand Broadway. Like I go see plays.

• 13:34Stavros Halkias?

  You don't understand it.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  It's like so, I'm like, let's just go watch the movie. It's so awesome. It's crazy. I'm like, I see the guy behind the thing. Like, what are we doing? Why are we all acting like this is good?

• 13:46Stavros Halkias?

  So you think the movie's real?

• 13:48Speaker 03

  I think the movie's better. I don't think it's real. I also, I mean, you know what I mean?

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  You just see a guy doing-

• 13:52Speaker 03

  I don't see the green screen, you know?

• 13:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 13:55Speaker 04

  I didn't get The Lion King with that.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Dude, I went and saw The Lion King and I'm like, this is fucking, I'm looking at the guy behind the costume.

• 14:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, it's pissing you off.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got hit in the head with a bird.

• 14:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you got hit in the head by a bird?

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Not a fan.

• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

  Who did you take to Broadway?

• 14:08Speaker 03

  I went with my wife, my brother, my sister, my, and like they have my sister, brother-in-law and nieces and nephews were in town. So it was like a family outing.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  Did your mother-in-law go?

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Did my mother, no, he's got a thing for my mother-in-law. He met my mother-in-law very recently and is like wildly obsessed. And now he'll just keep giving me scenarios where he's my father-in-law.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  And would I be okay with that?

• 14:30Speaker 04

  Straight to boarding school, eh?

• 14:31Speaker 03

  And they're not, dude, it's like, they're not even creative. He's like, let's say I came home and it was in the morning. I'm like, no. And he's like, what if it was the afternoon?

• 14:40Stavros Halkias?

  What is it, what is it that draws you to Kevin's mother-in-law?

• 14:43Speaker 04

  Well, first of all, it's not, this is disrespect when it's a family show. It's a family diner.

• 14:49Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  Just, yeah, she's very beautiful, very, you know, tall and slender. She looks like an old European model. And we had a, you know, a bit of a chemistry.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  And you hugged her five times. He hugged her five times in 35 seconds.

• 15:00Stavros Halkias?

  And you guys are probably the same age, I would guess, too?

• 15:04Speaker 04

  You're a spring chicken here, eh?

• 15:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there's no way, yeah, you, there's no way, I don't care how much older like a slender European woman is than you. You're not outliving her, you know what I mean?

• 15:18Speaker 04

  No, not at all.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  She's been doing yoga every day for like 45 years.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  We got the antibiotics and shit over here. That ain't my fucking fault. Fucking cut back on that yellow number five. You ever see a Fanta in Europe? It's like fucking cola color. Over here, they're pumping all that orange in.

• 15:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's the big difference.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  That's your problem.

• 15:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:38Speaker 04

  The Fanta? I do like an orange soda.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  You got a yellow number five problem.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  What's your go-to soda if you do fast food? What are you getting?

• 15:45Stavros Halkias?

  If I do fast food, I mean, I have just become a diet soda guy now.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  No shit?

• 15:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  What's that? You a DC man? You a Coke Zero guy? What are you doing?

• 15:53Stavros Halkias?

  I prefer Coke Zero. Now, if I'm going to a fast food place, usually the most exotic diet option you might come across is Diet Dr. Pepper.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  A DDP.

• 16:04Stavros Halkias?

  And so that is my number one go-to. Oftentimes, you settle for a Diet Coke.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  But I don't know. Found Diet Coke, there's nothing better.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  I used to push back on those Coca-Cola magic machines, you know what I'm talking about?

• 16:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I love those.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  The touchscreens?

• 16:17Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 16:17Stavros Halkias?

  I love those.

• 16:18Speaker 04

  It doesn't feel right to me though. I used to push back, but when you hit that Diet Dr. Pepper button, it comes up with a fucking, I feel like I'm on fucking this spaceship.

• 16:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, vanilla, cherry.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  Little bit of cream soda, little bit of cherry, little bit of strawberry, get it all in there, mix it up.

• 16:30Stavros Halkias?

  I'm with that, and I don't give a, maybe that's why, because I'm a diet soda guy, you are so restrained in most circumstances that with the Coke Freestyle machine, you can really go crazy.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  I feel like Thomas Hating Church right now.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  Is it Coke Freestyle? Is that what it's called?

• 16:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  That's awesome.

• 16:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's the Coke Freestyle machine. I love, I like to get, that's my canvas as far as I'm concerned. I'm a fucking artist, my fucking large fountain, that's, you know, that's a work of art.

• 16:59Speaker 04

  And I tell you what, no matter where you go, the ice in that thing is the same and it's the best ice.

• 17:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and I've heard.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  It's the crushed ice.

• 17:06Stavros Halkias?

  Crushed ice is good, and I've heard some negatives where it's like, look, you still have the leftover, whatever the last guy got.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  That's kind of what I don't like about it.

• 17:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, no shit, that's what I'm going for.

• 17:16Stavros Halkias?

  You like that?

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm on chip a little bit, you know what I mean? Like I rub it in my gums.

• 17:22Stavros Halkias?

  I think that could be easily, you just hit it with a little water beforehand.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  I don't disagree. I just, I, I like each individual spout. I like that there's all the lines aren't the same. I'm very fucking, I'm old school, Janice, you know what I mean? I like the original.

• 17:35Stavros Halkias?

  And you're a Coke guy, I would guess.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  I'm a Diet Coke. I mean, yeah, it was Coke, but I'm, I'm, I'm Diet Coke. I'm even get, I'm getting off the Diet Cokes, but.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  Oh, interesting. I have Pepsi every once in a while. Ain't bad when you go out.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  I was doing like, I was doing like seven a day, easy.

• 17:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Easy seven Diet Cokes a day. It's too many Diet Cokes.

• 17:50Stavros Halkias?

  I, I will treat myself to a good night diet soda. That's why I've gotten into, I've very much gotten into.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  Crosses his legs.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  I will do a.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  Speaking of artists.

• 18:00Stavros Halkias?

  Caffeine free diet soda. So I'm all over the place.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Is that the gold one?

• 18:04Stavros Halkias?

  The gold one?

• 18:05Speaker 03

  That's for grandparents, dude. That's wild.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  Now, you know what's for grandparents? Diet root beer. Cause root beer has no caffeine in it.

• 18:12Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a big diet root beer guy.

• 18:13Speaker 04

  My dad was huge on it.

• 18:15Stavros Halkias?

  Diet Sprite also. There's, now there's a holiday. There's a cranberry spiced flavored Sprite.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  A cran, you know what's nice around the holidays?

• 18:23Stavros Halkias?

  The ginger ale with a touch of cranberry?

• 18:25Speaker 04

  Buddy, come on. Open the presents. Fucking sing some fucking Christmas carols.

• 18:29Stavros Halkias?

  I'm with you. I'm with you, man.

• 18:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, a little touch of that.

• 18:32Stavros Halkias?

  And then if I need to have a little caffeine, I'm going wild cherry. I'll, the crazy will get a Diet Pepsi. The only time I'm dipping my toes in the Pepsi pool is if I go wild cherry doctor or diet Pepsi.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  Wild cherry, we were talking about that downstairs. You got a sixer sitting on the counter.

• 18:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Wild cherry, diet Pepsi, zero, zero sugar.

• 18:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Which I don't know what the difference is between the diet and the zero sugar, but they got something going on.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  It's the chemical. It's the sweetener.

• 19:00Stavros Halkias?

  Different formulation.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Is it?

• 19:01Speaker 03

  It's the, not a, what's the one that gives you a fucking cancer?

• 19:05Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they all probably do.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  I mean, the one that's like, that's like the reason they switched.

• 19:09Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think any of them actually give you cancer, by the way. I think those studies.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Tell that to those poor mice.

• 19:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, what happens is they give them like the amount that would be found in fifty thousand diet sodas.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  Wouldn't we all be?

• 19:21Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm getting close to that.

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 04

  Wouldn't we have all dropped dead by now if it was that bad for you?

• 19:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And, and, and famously, American health is only going up and up.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:32Stavros Halkias?

  We haven't, we haven't gotten worse off.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  Take that, commies.

• 19:39Speaker 04

  There we go. There we go.

• 19:42Speaker 03

  I'll do a, one of my favorite indulgences is, uh, doing a Diet Coke at a diner for breakfast. Diet Coke for breakfast.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  Diet Coke for breakfast.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  I get a black coffee, a water. If we're on the road, black coffee, water, Diet Coke.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  We, when did we catch a screamer? Oh, it was that, it was at JFK at the Palm. But the, when we, when we flew out for the last tour.

• 20:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. Do you eat at the airport?

• 20:02Speaker 04

  No.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  Really?

• 20:04Speaker 04

  You don't, when you get there early, you don't, you don't have breakfast?

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Get to the airport early to have breakfast? Yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  Are you out of your fucking mind?

• 20:09Speaker 03

  No, we get there early. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:11Stavros Halkias?

  To have breakfast at a overpriced shitty restaurant?

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  If we're flying out of JFK, we're hitting that Palm.

• 20:17Stavros Halkias?

  You go to the Palm?

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Every time. Every day.

• 20:20Stavros Halkias?

  You guys are fu- that's crazy.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  What are you guys doing?

• 20:23Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's fucking-

• 20:24Speaker 03

  Our flight's not for three hours.

• 20:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's insane.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  No, it's not, dude.

• 20:26Stavros Halkias?

  You plan to eat at the, what do you do? I have breakfast at my home.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  That stinks.

• 20:32Stavros Halkias?

  And, no, it's, it's a better qual- it's che- I mean, you, those breakfasts are probably costing you, what, forty dollars each?

• 20:38Speaker 03

  You act like we're good with money?

• 20:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but it's not even good, you fucking assholes!

• 20:42Speaker 04

  I've gotten-

• 20:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's microwaved eggs!

• 20:44Speaker 04

  I, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 20:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my god!

• 20:49Speaker 03

  I want you to sit here and talk shit about anything else.

• 20:51Speaker 04

  Holiday Inn Express.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  The Palm's a good restaurant?

• 20:53Speaker 04

  Good restaurant.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  The Palm at JFK.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  Yeah!

• 20:55Stavros Halkias?

  The Palm at JFK is a good restaurant.

• 20:57Speaker 04

  It's a star!

• 20:58Stavros Halkias?

  It's fu- you go back there, they have the same fucking kitchen.

• 21:01Speaker 03

  Might as well touch something.

• 21:01Stavros Halkias?

  They have the same kitchen as the Chili's to go.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  No, you're nuts.

• 21:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's all connected in one place.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  Nah, it's good.

• 21:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's good, dude. The Palm Steakhouse.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  The Palm Steakhouse.

• 21:10Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I've never eaten at a steakhouse in a fucking airport, cause yeah, I mean, I'm not white trash that won the lottery. Which I guess is what you are.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  Have you seen the show? What are you talking about, dude? We just hit the world's biggest scratcher here.

• 21:25Stavros Halkias?

  But to still be doing, okay, do it once.

• 21:27Speaker 04

  We take all the boys, we all sit down, get the American breakfast. I get some cocktails sometimes.

• 21:32Stavros Halkias?

  Are you crazy? Go to a real fucking restaurant!

• 21:36Speaker 04

  They don't have them in the airport.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  That's horrible.

• 21:38Stavros Halkias?

  You live in New York City! Take the guys to a fucking dinner the night before, you fucking assholes!

• 21:43Speaker 04

  We do, we do that too!

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Can I make it, how many, let's, can you look up the Palm for me? Give me a little- A few, De Palma's a good restaurant.

• 21:49Speaker 04

  Quality spot.

• 21:50Stavros Halkias?

  Not the one at the airport.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  It's all the same shit.

• 21:53Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's not, you fucking idiot.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  They held us close to a corporate city.

• 21:56Stavros Halkias?

  They really don't. You guys are so fucking stupid. I promise you, whatever it is.

• 22:01Speaker 04

  They're all franchised.

• 22:02Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever it is, look.

• 22:04Speaker 03

  This started as a bit, but I'm getting mad about the De Palma slander.

• 22:07Stavros Halkias?

  Is it better than Chili's?

• 22:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 22:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, but everything at the airport.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  First of all, what's wrong with Chili's?

• 22:12Stavros Halkias?

  Airport Chili's, I mean, again, we've eaten at Airport Chili's plenty of times, but everything at the airport is like three steps less than it is outside of the airport.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  I know, so we've acclimated to go like, okay, I realize it's all bad, but this is good for being bad.

• 22:25Stavros Halkias?

  And what I'm saying, you act like someone's got a gun to your fucking head and says, you have to have breakfast at the airport, or I'll kill you. No one is doing that. You can have breakfast at a diner here, it'll be better.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  Well, here's the, here's the.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  I know, but we're not gonna go to the, we're not gonna all go to meet at a diner at Midtown, then all go to JFK.

• 22:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I guess. That's why you just get on the fucking flight.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  Look, I'm drinking out of a Stanley mug, judging.

• 22:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's a hydro flask, thank you very much.

• 22:51Speaker 04

  And it's root beer.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's all, it's filled with the. What do you got on the palm?

• 22:54Speaker 04

  It's a root beer float.

• 22:55Speaker 05

  Here's, just at a glance on Google, the palm, the Google rating is 3.1.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  3.2, I hear.

• 23:02Speaker 05

  The one that Yelp, on Yelp, it has a 2.3.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  That's out of your mind. Come on.

• 23:10Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, okay, listen, if it happened once, if you guys got there, you're like, whoa, we got there early.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  We do it every single time. The fact that you planned to do this. Oh, yeah, we all love it.

• 23:19Speaker 04

  The flight's at nine, we get there at seven, we zip through fucking TSA Pre-Check.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  You get there at two hours early, yeah.

• 23:24Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. That is pissing me the fuck off.

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Why?

• 23:28Stavros Halkias?

  Sleep an extra hour? What are you talking?

• 23:31Speaker 03

  You gotta meet the boys, you gotta get the scrambled.

• 23:33Stavros Halkias?

  No, you don't, you're gonna be there with all fucking, all weekend with the boys.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  Here's the real problem.

• 23:37Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises, we love it. We just got a new assistant, she loves it, she's taking all our sushi orders, they're going through. The Visible Network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stoppage World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month, or get the Premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAFF.

• 24:22Stavros Halkias?

  Terms apply.

• 24:25Speaker 06

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw.

• 24:37Speaker 06

  Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life. By the Claw, White Claw.

• 24:50Speaker 04

  Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celta Works, Chicago, Illinois. Him and I'll have breakfast. We'll get on a plane if it's a longer flight and all of a sudden they walk up and hand us that in-flight menu.

• 25:00Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  And we both have to look at each other like, hmm?

• 25:03Speaker 03

  I've been off, I've been off it. I'm, I've been off it.

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  That is the sign that your life is going, is going good when you can say no to the-

• 25:10Speaker 03

  To a second breakfast, to a second breakfast in 90 minutes?

• 25:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, I'm not even kidding that. Cause there's, once you're in the sky, it doesn't feel like you're in real life.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  Well, dude, the one time I rationalized was, I'm like, I put my bag up. Like, I was like, that's work, I've earned another breakfast.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  That's in a vacuum, yeah.

• 25:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's in a vacuum, it doesn't, everything in the, in the sky, dude. And when you can say no, let's say you say no to the breakfast and then at the end of the flight, you say no to the cookie?

• 25:32Speaker 03

  That's great, I mean-

• 25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Then you're fucking Gandhi.

• 25:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:35Stavros Halkias?

  You're off the cookie?

• 25:36Speaker 04

  I'm off the cookie.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  I'm off the snacks, too.

• 25:38Stavros Halkias?

  My eyes say otherwise, Henry.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  I did see him-

• 25:43Speaker 04

  What, you got a new prescription, huh? This guy can see the future.

• 25:48Stavros Halkias?

  You're off the cookie, but you'll just have a whole fucking omelet.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  Now, we had, I think we had Italian beef last time.

• 25:54Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  With french fries, which was strange, but we did it.

• 25:57Stavros Halkias?

  We had the fries hold up in the sky.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  Not great. You had, no, I had polenta, you had potatoes or something like that.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  I don't, did I, I don't remember eating, honestly.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  I was watching it the whole time.

• 26:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I, I just, I can't, I just value- Sleep so much more.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, we don't. We're not a sleeping crew, really. We're up early. We're all fucking, it's really weird. We all get there early. Like if, so let's say the flight's at nine, we'll do a fucking JFK calls at seven. You gotta check bags. It takes two minutes, but we go, I gotta check the bags.

• 26:26Stavros Halkias?

  I'll give you that, whatever. When we check bags, we get there earlier than usual.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Yeah. So we get there at seven and everybody will be fifteen minutes early. So like we get through it, then we got proper two hours chill. Everybody likes to do their own thing. Somebody, you know, some people go hit the weed pen in the bathroom for fifteen minutes. Some people go like go buy snacks, whatever it is, and we all meet back. It's very, uh.

• 26:48Stavros Halkias?

  Let me see, the thing is.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  Very, very family.

• 26:50Stavros Halkias?

  Here's the thing, though. You guys act like you're going on fucking vacation. You're going to work.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  It's a ninety minute flight to Cleveland.

• 26:56Stavros Halkias?

  You're going to work.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  We don't drink. Yeah, we don't drink. We don't drink.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  We do have a no drink.

• 27:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's not a treat, you fucking assholes.

• 27:02Speaker 04

  We're drinking the way home.

• 27:03Stavros Halkias?

  This is thirty weekends a year of your life. You're a tour, you're touring comedians. It can't be a little treat every time.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  Fifteen and we co-headline.

• 27:18Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, whatever.

• 27:19Speaker 04

  You know what? Fuck it. Enjoy your life. Let me paint a picture for you. All right, let's say you're, you're doing, uh, you're doing two shows in Chicago. You guys fly in, you do the show on a Thursday. You wake up in a hotel Friday morning. You two aren't texting each other around eight, eight thirty. How you feeling about a little breakfast?

• 27:36Stavros Halkias?

  When we're there in the same city, in the same hotel, yes.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 27:40Stavros Halkias?

  Not the night before in my home. Where are we gonna eat? At fucking LaGuardia? No.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  You go to Bubbies.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  You go to Bubbles. In the, listen, God hit me. Where's my, where's my, where's my down the barrel? That new, that new thing in the new wing, the Delta way or whatever. Bubbles, Bubbies?

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, Bubbies.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  Woo!

• 27:58Speaker 04

  Nice joint. Treat you like family.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  The good thing about there is you sit down in the mid, it's in the middle. It's a little, the vibes feel off because you're like in the middle of the terminal, but you sit there, you order on your phone, which in the airport, I don't like, but you gotta order on your phone. You gotta pass the phone around to five, six people. They all order. But the staff there will come out and like really, like if you want a refill or another Diet Coke.

• 28:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  She'll just get it for you. She takes, you know what I mean? You don't have to order through the phone again.

• 28:22Stavros Halkias?

  You guys are fucking hilarious.

• 28:24Speaker 05

  Talk about how nice the bobbies at LaGuardia is.

• 28:27Speaker 04

  It's nice.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  It's great dude, it's brand new. It's, I love.

• 28:31Speaker 04

  I don't know where to get.

• 28:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's a real restaurant!

• 28:33Speaker 03

  It's a real restaurant, they got one down. They got one downtown. That's a New York restaurant at the end of the day.

• 28:39Speaker 04

  Listen, I'm gonna.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  You're telling me JFK is in LaGuardia or in New York City? As a whole, they are better than most restaurants around the world.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  I'm gonna tell you.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, they gotta be.

• 28:48Speaker 04

  Absolutely not.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  This is New York City. The city that never sleeps, though.

• 28:52Speaker 04

  I'm gonna tell you something, Sacramento Airport at the Chipotle, get the oysters Rockefeller. You will fucking thank me in the morning. You don't need that bound.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Remember that one time we had to do PF Chang's in the morning? I forget where that was.

• 29:05Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 29:06Stavros Halkias?

  Had to.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Chinese in the morning?

• 29:08Stavros Halkias?

  Had to.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Chinese eggs, how you doing?

• 29:11Stavros Halkias?

  And what does that menu look like?

• 29:12Speaker 04

  It's the same shit, we all had orange chicken.

• 29:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. Did the orange chicken omelet.

• 29:17Stavros Halkias?

  I do, I mean, don't get me wrong, when I am, when my life is in shambles.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're not killing it over here.

• 29:24Stavros Halkias?

  I love when I wait, when I'm like, well, I have to get breakfast.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:28Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's like, you know, airport time is different because they serve breakfast from like 5 a.m. to 9:30.

• 29:33Speaker 03

  Which, I gotta, I wanna push back, they should serve till at least 11. Because you're getting there early, it's like, I, I'm not ready for fucking, you know, uh, you know, noodles at fucking, at, at, at 10 a.m.

• 29:44Stavros Halkias?

  But I will say, when I am like, you know, when I'm just being a real slutty boy and it's, I'm there at 10:15 and I'm like, uh-oh, I, I guess I have to get a cheesesteak.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:55Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean, instead of eggs?

• 29:56Speaker 03

  Because you told, you're like, I'll get it, well, they're done, alright.

• 29:59Stavros Halkias?

  Also, by the way, something, another fat thought.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  I'll do the beef Wellington.

• 30:02Stavros Halkias?

  That breakfast is always healthy.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's one of the fattest thoughts there is.

• 30:06Speaker 04

  That breakfast is always healthy.

• 30:07Stavros Halkias?

  Always healthy, no matter what you get.

• 30:08Speaker 04

  I really.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna push back on that, it's the best way you gotta start the day, you know what I mean? It's the most important meal of the day.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  Every time I, every time I go to order breakfast, you know, the home fries, I'm not getting the home fries and toast, I'm not getting the home fries and toast, I'll do sourdough and roasted potatoes, please.

• 30:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but no, home fries, no, that's what I'm saying though, you can convince yourself, home fries, it's a potato.

• 30:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  A little bit, I'll do a little bit of them.

• 30:26Stavros Halkias?

  They don't deep fry it, they put it on the fucking skillet.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Meanwhile, that omelet's like fucking 4,200 calories.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Sourdough, don't I say, is really good for you?

• 30:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, dude, this guy, this guy lives in one thing he heard and then it just sticks to him.

• 30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but a piece of toast, bread.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  Two scrambled eggs.

• 30:42Stavros Halkias?

  Two eggs and a breakfast meat. In your head, you're like, well, that's healthy.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  Chicken sausage.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  I'm getting ready to fly. I need my strength. You know what I mean?

• 30:49Speaker 04

  What if something happens?

• 30:50Speaker 03

  I'm getting ready to have my second breakfast.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  What if something happens?

• 30:52Stavros Halkias?

  Right. What if we have to deplane?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  No, he thinks he's gonna stop somebody.

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I gotta have my protein in me. You know what I mean?

• 31:01Speaker 03

  And I'm gonna have to get out of the way because he's crammed into the window.

• 31:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're a window guy?

• 31:05Speaker 04

  I love the window.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  I'm an aisle man.

• 31:07Stavros Halkias?

  That's, you're too fat to be a window guy.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  No, I love the window.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  He sits next to me, though.

• 31:10Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 31:11Speaker 04

  He pees fucking like, he pees like fucking one of the golden girls.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  I don't like diet coke in the morning.

• 31:15Stavros Halkias?

  I'm an aisle guy, too. I think as a fat man, aisle is the way to go.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  I like getting up. I like stretching the legs. I like, I'd say whatever.

• 31:20Stavros Halkias?

  You get a little extra thigh space.

• 31:22Speaker 04

  But the aisle, if it's just like, you know, if it's just like somewhat of a regular seat, I'm elbowing. I'm always getting hit. I'm always getting hit.

• 31:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's, that's part of the hazard, hazard of the aisle and being fat as shit.

• 31:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. Do you lift up the thing? The armrest on the aisle?

• 31:38Stavros Halkias?

  If, it pisses me off they don't let, some places don't let you. If they do, I'll do it for sure.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  You can jimmy that underneath there.

• 31:46Stavros Halkias?

  Some of the times you can't.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Oh, we'll talk after.

• 31:48Stavros Halkias?

  All right.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  I got a little kit on full, like,

• 31:53Speaker 04

  like a cat burglar.

• 31:54Stavros Halkias?

  You're there with a Phillips head?

• 31:57Speaker 04

  Have they got an Allen wrench on them?

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Trying to enjoy my third breakfast here.

• 32:06Speaker 04

  A TSA pre-check, folks, don't worry. I'll tell you where they fuck you. Let people lift up the fucking arm on the side of the window. Then you can really get in there and fucking snooze out.

• 32:16Stavros Halkias?

  I fully agree.

• 32:16Speaker 04

  What the fuck is that? What's that gonna do? We're all dead anyway.

• 32:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. No, I agree. At least on the aisle, I can see the argument for, we have to keep these animals penned in.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 32:25Stavros Halkias?

  Because I would definitely abuse that.

• 32:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  I would definitely hang my fat, half my fat stomach would be in the aisle. So, fine, I get it. But the window, you gotta let it. I felt, one time, a place let me, the, it allowed me to lift it on the window. It was incredible.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. Those, they lock. They lock those.

• 32:41Stavros Halkias?

  So the kid?

• 32:42Speaker 04

  They're smart.

• 32:43Stavros Halkias?

  So even the kit doesn't work for those, huh?

• 32:45Speaker 04

  You gotta really, I've used like a toenail clipper and got back there and like loosened up the latch. That's what you gotta do.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  Fucking Houdini over here.

• 32:53Speaker 04

  And then sometimes they get you with the toenail clipper.

• 32:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. They confiscate it.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. But if somebody made a move and I had that toenail clipper, they'd be pretty glad that I was there.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  I would like to get, I would like to get your take on this. This is a big beef with us. I'm an aisle man. And we've never really, we've, this, this is like a real, like, we both don't like the way we act.

• 33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Let's litigate this. I love this.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  So we've never really, you know, as good dirtbags, we don't really air it out.

• 33:19Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know where you're going with this. I'm here to be an arbiter.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  So we'll land, right? You know, we're in the, we're in the front of the plane.

• 33:25Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  And I'll stand up, right? As I do, stretch my legs. I'm in the aisle. That's my, right?

• 33:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's your right.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  It's my right. And then everybody else in the aisle kind of files in. So it gets tight. Everybody gets their bags down. He go, he'll be in there, still in his seat, and he'll go, "Get my bags."

• 33:43Stavros Halkias?

  Bag good.

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Bags? Cause you have, you have, you have your bag and you have your, your fucking ResMed, uh, Top Gun mask.

• 33:51Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  So it's two bags.

• 33:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's a light bag, the CPAP. Personal bag.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  No, and you also have your school bag and your carry-on.

• 33:58Stavros Halkias?

  The medic, the medically excused personal item.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  No, I don't. I haven't used my ResMed bag in a long time, cause it ripped. I paid for another one and it never fucking showed up. ResMed, by the way, with something bad. You be hearing from my attorney.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  Eldis.

• 34:12Speaker 04

  Bobby.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  He's Red Shakespeare.

• 34:14Speaker 04

  Guy got a 3.2 Shakespeare. You guys are done.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  To sue or not to sue? Um, and I, I'm just, and I get mad, cause I know he's gonna ask, and I'm gonna have to go, no one else is, where are you gonna put your bag? You're just taking up real estate.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  You just put it on the floor, cause then I get out and I, dude, I feel that pressure.

• 34:36Speaker 03

  See, that's what you don't like.

• 34:38Speaker 04

  I feel that pressure. I feel like everybody on every plane on the tarmac is like, "Come on, fat ass."

• 34:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? Cause it takes me a second. I'm clicking the thing. I'm dragging it, trying to get good eye contact with the flight attendant.

• 34:50Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course, of course.

• 34:51Speaker 03

  It is kind of funny how he, cause I go, no, man. I'm like, I'm not gonna take, cause there's still people in the aisle who can't get their bags. Now I'm jamming up the thing with your bags?

• 35:01Stavros Halkias?

  So here's, here is what I would say, actually. I think I have a more extreme position than both of you, which is I, I think the stand, look, stand up, stretch your legs, I get that, especially. If you're a tall person, stand up, stretch your legs, sit back down. I'm saying everyone's, everyone's urgency.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 35:21Stavros Halkias?

  As soon as that bell rings, you hear the click, click, click, click. Everybody gets the fuck up. Where the fuck are you going?

• 35:26Speaker 03

  I get it.

• 35:27Stavros Halkias?

  You're standing there for too long.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  It's pure anxiety.

• 35:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's just anxiety. It's also this weird like, I have to get off for a sec. And now, if you have a connection you have to make, fine, I'll excuse that. But if you're just, if you've reached your destination.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  I've reached my destination.

• 35:40Stavros Halkias?

  And you get up immediately and stay up there. Yeah. You have to have breakfast.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Again, in the arriving airport.

• 35:47Stavros Halkias?

  Arrival breakfast.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  Got a reservation.

• 35:52Stavros Halkias?

  I think the move is wait. Wait until people start leaving. I sit, I don't even think about my bag, and I'll even go further. I'll let a couple aisles behind me go.

• 36:06Speaker 03

  What? Crazy talk.

• 36:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, why not? What did you just say? That you're, that you are worried about people being like, hey fat, cause there's gonna be.

• 36:14Speaker 03

  It's usually me. Hey fat ass, hurry up.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  I like how you whisper it. Hey fat ass.

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  The thing is, there will be a bottleneck behind you at some point, right?

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Which, oh, I gotta say.

• 36:23Speaker 04

  Oh, then you make your move. So then you make your move.

• 36:25Stavros Halkias?

  Who, you, DB Cooper? What the fuck?

• 36:27Speaker 03

  That's pretty good.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  Slip right out, take the fake mustache off.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  One of my favorite things is, cause like, I'll get, so we're always right next to each other. That's how we fly. And so I'll go for, I'll get off the plane, right?

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  Very, that's, by the way, you're doing a, a community service doing that, Kevin.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Listen, it's always.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  We're up front. There's no, there's no leakage over.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:47Speaker 04

  Sometimes I'll drink his bottle of water or something like that.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  No, he gets.

• 36:50Stavros Halkias?

  I'm pissed when me and Elders are next to each other.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Really?

• 36:53Stavros Halkias?

  When it works out that way, I'm like, come on.

• 36:55Speaker 03

  No, I do like it, but he also does the thing where it's like, after 10 days on the road, we land and he's like, you wanna talk? Like, I'm like, I don't wanna talk anymore. Like, we talk for a living.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  I'm still having fun.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  You got something good.

• 37:06Speaker 04

  I like joking around, especially on the way home. We get a couple of Bloody Marys, we relax a little bit.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  What happens is, he's drunk. He's like. And I'm like, dude, you shut up.

• 37:15Speaker 04

  I watch his movie a lot, which bothers him.

• 37:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  And he goes. Yeah, it's a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  If a sex scene comes on.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  So you'll watch his movie, but not with the audio? No, yeah, I don't know why. See, that's fun. It's for me, we, I mean, we've talked about it before, but we watch the whale on a flight next to each other.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  I watch that every flight.

• 37:34Stavros Halkias?

  One of the fun.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  I watch him eat my cookie.

• 37:42Speaker 04

  I get up and float down the aisle.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  You also don't know if he died at the end of that.

• 37:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  He could have turned it around right there.

• 37:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  Maybe he took that step out the front door and just started fucking.

• 37:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he floated to Planet Fitness. That's how fucking Foley chooses to read the ending. One of the clearest, one of the clearest, most hand-fisted endings in the history of film.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  God, he turned it around there.

• 38:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there's some, there's some room for interpretation here.

• 38:11Speaker 04

  I like Brendan Fraser in that, but you could have got a fat guy.

• 38:14Stavros Halkias?

  I agree, I agree.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  Fucking bullshit.

• 38:15Stavros Halkias?

  I agree.

• 38:16Speaker 04

  I don't know about that fat.

• 38:17Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, well, that's a tough.

• 38:19Speaker 04

  If you work on the role.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  If you're dedicated.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  But I will say, I get off the plane first and I'll like, he'll be directly behind, like, you know, and man, he does bottleneck it. Cause like, I'll look back through like the sky bridge or whatever it's called, and there's nobody inside. No one's got off the plane in two and a half minutes.

• 38:38Speaker 04

  That's sky bridge.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  And then people, people from like, you know, 9G start passing them on the runway and stuff.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  That's sky bridge, man. My, I feel like I'm in the Matrix, like I haven't used my body before. Like the altitude change, it's always an incline.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Like he's in a non-pressurized cabin or something. The altitude change.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  The Memphis belt?

• 38:56Speaker 03

  You're the only one of, ah.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Well, and plus too, the, the temperature change, whether it's real cold or real hot when you get off.

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  And I'm dragging my shit. I don't have my stuff. That is brutal going up that thing.

• 39:08Stavros Halkias?

  And that's why I'm saying, little leisure, let them pass you. Don't sweat.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  Bottlenecks a good move.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  But that's the fattest move ever.

• 39:16Stavros Halkias?

  Well, the fattest move ever is fucking.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Holding everybody up.

• 39:19Stavros Halkias?

  You go to get your CPAP mask and your pants fall down. And everyone's like, oh, sorry, guys.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  I already got my cookie.

• 39:25Stavros Halkias?

  And then, yeah. Are you guys gonna throw that cookie away?

• 39:28Speaker 03

  For a to-go cookie?

• 39:32Speaker 04

  When they come around with, be honest, when they come around with the little snack tray. You got the gummy, you got those vegan gummy bears.

• 39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Vegan gummies.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  Right. You're getting, eh, but in a pinch, you know what I mean? What are you gonna do?

• 39:42Speaker 03

  It's not a pinch, it's a flight to Pittsburgh. It's 48 minutes in the air. You're not in a pinch. And you slept half of it. So we're talking about 24 minutes.

• 39:53Stavros Halkias?

  What am I getting? Is that the?

• 39:54Speaker 04

  I'll just cut that, please.

• 39:57Stavros Halkias?

  What am I getting out of the little basket?

• 39:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're not just getting one thing.

• 40:00Stavros Halkias?

  Well, okay, again, that's another sign that your life's going well. You can say no thank you.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  Sure, which we do sometimes.

• 40:07Stavros Halkias?

  But if I'm really going crazy, I like those little chocolate shortbread. Those are the absolute best. They have some kind of European branding.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  With the chocolates in the center?

• 40:16Stavros Halkias?

  Chocolates in the center, yep, yep. And then, you know, whatever they, whatever they got cookie wise, you know, with the Biscoff. Now, we've gotten to a point where snack technology has been so advanced that the Biscoff is now the lowest offering.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 40:35Stavros Halkias?

  But I will still make do with one if I have to.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:38Stavros Halkias?

  And yeah, I'll get the, and I will get, I'll usually get something chocolatey, something gummy. And then I'll get, you know, if they have a chip, I'll get a chip.

• 40:49Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 40:49Stavros Halkias?

  But if I'm trying to tell myself I'm being healthy, I'll get the pistachios.

• 40:52Speaker 04

  Love them.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Yeah. I've gotten, I've gotten into the-

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Which that's bullshit too.

• 40:56Stavros Halkias?

  Completely bullshit.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  Crush those.

• 40:58Stavros Halkias?

  Completely bullshit.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  I don't like the mixing. It just makes me feel so, it makes me feel like a rat. Cause like, it doesn't scratch any of the itches. Like the bags are too small. I need to have five bags of the chips. I need to have three things at it. And it's just like-

• 41:10Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes they got the Miss Vicky's.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Just all around me and I'm like hiding it in little pockets and stuff. And I'm like, I'd rather just, so what I've been doing is buying a bag of gummy bears in the airport and that's my snack.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  And he waits till I fall asleep and then I wake up and I see the empty bag of gummy bears. And I know there's been treachery afoot. Goddamn conspiracy.

• 41:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:33Stavros Halkias?

  No, I see, but see, I think-

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Also, I've been doing power, but now that we're, now that we're a little bit healthier, I've been doing like the, the meal, the protein bars. If, I feel like when I'm eating on a plane, I'm at my worst.

• 41:43Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Like, my, my life is going severely shitty. I'm very unhappy. When I'm having the breakfast at the Palm, then the breakfast on the plane, then the snacks.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Which we really don't do anymore. We're, we're, you know, we're both, he's, he's down a bunch of pounds.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Down forty pounds. Shout out Zepbound.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  Shout out Zepbound.

• 41:59Stavros Halkias?

  Zepbound, yes. We're all on it.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  I've lost all my muscle mass and bone density, but I am looking good.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  Most of that spleen.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  You don't need that anyway.

• 42:10Speaker 04

  What did they, just going back a little bit, what did they, what did they throw at you at the Venice Film Festival? Was there a luncheon or anything like that?

• 42:16Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it, it breaks my heart to say-

• 42:18Speaker 04

  Nothing.

• 42:19Stavros Halkias?

  That the food was just okay.

• 42:21Speaker 04

  Really?

• 42:22Stavros Halkias?

  And I think the problem is-

• 42:24Speaker 04

  You don't eat while you're watching the movies, right?

• 42:26Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 42:27Speaker 04

  It's not like the Golden Globes.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Those chairs recline so you can sleep in them?

• 42:31Stavros Halkias?

  First of all, what are you talking about? The Golden, the Golden Globes is a fucking award ceremony.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  I know, but they, they're eaten.

• 42:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, at an award ceremony, not at a movie.

• 42:38Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 42:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's not an Arlington draft house. It's not, it's not the fucking-

• 42:42Speaker 03

  An AMC Max or whatever.

• 42:44Stavros Halkias?

  I put my order on a little, uh, paper, on a little note card.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  Mr. Hafiz, your pretzel nuggets are ready, sir. Right here, right here.

• 42:51Stavros Halkias?

  Your buffalo egg rolls, sir. I'm in a fucking tuxedo eating buffalo egg rolls.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  I think that guy got my pretzel nuggets. You're all freaking out. I hate that.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  Trying to get Mark Ruffalo on board? Come on, man, don't be a bitch. Fucking share it with me.

• 43:09Stavros Halkias?

  No, there's a little dinner and then there's some hors d'oeuvres, but I will say, that is the, the thing poor people do better than rich people is actually having good, a good- Yes, like after the premiere- They, there's just all these little, little finger foods and it's like, literally, if they had, if they had in the corner of the room, this is a nice hotel still, if they had 20 boxes of pizza, everyone would have been happier.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, you are a fucking dirtbag.

• 43:35Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone would have been happier, I'm not kidding.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Also, you could have just said pizzas, but boxes of pizza. Like, there's gonna be a stack, gotta start flipping through to find this, to find this sausage.

• 43:43Speaker 04

  I, I, I hate that, that's the worst.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  It's always at the bottom.

• 43:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I'm saying they should have had, I, to a person, there is not, except like, somebody who was pretending, but like, literally the star, like, the people that, like, the most important people of the movie left, because they were like, this kinda sucks. They literally like, I want pizza, we're in Italy.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 44:05Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 44:05Speaker 03

  Sure, I agree.

• 44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Don't get these little highfalutin bullshit. And look, if you have, if you want, if you have to, take the boxes, take them in the kitchen, have a fucking busboy put them on a plate.

• 44:15Speaker 04

  Sure, that's fine.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  I get that, I, listen, I'm on board. I, I, I take a staunch stand that I think all catered food, low-key stinks. It's just okay. You go to a wedding, the food is okay at, no one can cook for 300 people.

• 44:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Right. It's just, it's like, all just fine.

• 44:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. You kinda, you, something with a fixed, limited menu at a, at a very fixed location, like a catering, or like, I don't know, an airport, no matter what, the food is gonna be worse than usual.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  I don't know why you keep bringing up bullshit.

• 44:45Speaker 04

  We'll take you to the Palm one time.

• 44:46Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just saying, that's a good, that's a good way of thinking, Kevin.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  What's the cheapest ticket we can get today? We'll pay for it.

• 44:52Speaker 04

  That's what we should do.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Fucking get, get three, four Spirit Airlines tickets.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  We're not going on the flight, we're going straight to the fucking Palm.

• 44:58Stavros Halkias?

  The next R U garbage from the, live from the Delta Lounge.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  We don't even do the, I don't like the lounge.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's whack. That shit's whack.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  You can't get what you want. You just get that bullshit food they give you. I like, listen, if it's, if it's after, we're eating. Doesn't matter what meal it is, we're eating. I like to get a burger or something. You can't get a burger in the lounge. You just get the bullshit that you get.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  I thought, going into that, the first time we did that, I thought, oh, this is, we, we, fucking, this is nice. Then I see fucking businessmen stuffing their fucking, uh, their, uh, tech vest with fucking grommet bars.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Clemmingtons and shit.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Fuck outta here.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  But I was gonna say, we've been, we've been better. You know what I did the last run that saved me?

• 45:35Stavros Halkias?

  Tell me.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Almost ruined the show.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  We have.

• 45:39Speaker 04

  I'll just cut that. We uh, we, we have a bunch of uh, um, power bars and shit like that at the studio.

• 45:47Stavros Halkias?

  Power bars, was it 1992?

• 45:50Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, shout out to Jenny Craig Meal Shakes.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Man, shout out to Slim Fest.

• 45:55Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, don't act like you didn't chug a Slim Fest.

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  I did, but when I was a child, I was having power bars at Slim Fest when I was fucking seven.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  Power bars in a Gatorade?

• 46:04Stavros Halkias?

  Woo! The chewy weird like consistency? I'm sure if we read the label now, we'd be like, this is worse than a candy bar.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  They had such a good chew on them, it was awesome.

• 46:14Stavros Halkias?

  They did have a great chew.

• 46:14Speaker 04

  It had a little hay feel inside.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  But uh, I grabbed a couple of um,

• 46:21Stavros Halkias?

  Protein bars.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  Protein bars, thank you.

• 46:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  Um, I think they were Quest bars and put them in my bag. I got to the hotel, because I'd been laying up the booze, we did the show, those guys went out and drank and all that kinda stuff.

• 46:33Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not you though, you're a clean citizen.

• 46:37Speaker 04

  Went right back to the, went right back to the hotel.

• 46:39Stavros Halkias?

  You're reading your, the bible they provide for you in the hotel.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Sitting there like Denzel in Man on Fire.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  Got a bullet in your hand.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  Talking about a bad Prima.

• 46:52Stavros Halkias?

  Just looking at, looking at the Google page for whatever fucking airport uh, restaurant you're gonna fly out of.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  Listening to a little Ritalin the Ronstadt. I'm going back someday. Um, that was too much, deep cut.

• 47:08Speaker 04

  I grabbed a couple of fucking power bars and I, and I, and I had one before I went to sleep, that fucking took the edge right off, that and a bottle of water. Woke up, ready for breakfast.

• 47:17Stavros Halkias?

  That has about uh, three weeks of official, like, life expectancy.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's blood in the water, you gotta, so in the morning, this is what we did, which we've never really done before, we stayed, we were in Boston at the Wilba and we stayed um, at, we booked hotels like two days before, so, and at this point we were just booking the cheapest ones. So we stayed at like a real, just bare bones, basic hotel around the corner. But then for breakfast, we walked to the W and ate at another hotel breakfast. And man, you couldn't tell us shit, dude.

• 47:54Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, incredible.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  He texted the group, he's like, anybody up for bre- cause we were driving, so I didn't get, we didn't get our fucking airport bre- we were driving. So I'm like, he's like, anybody up for brekkie? And I looked and I was like, dude, there's a W around the corner. And he's like, they're gonna throw out a real nice breakfast.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  They do it nice. The comfy chairs, a higher class of people.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  It's a buffet?

• 48:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 48:14Speaker 04

  No.

• 48:14Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  So, but then we're, but it was embarrassing because I walk up, I'm like, hey, three for breakfast? He goes, then what room are you stayed in? And I was like, we're just walking by.

• 48:21Stavros Halkias?

  Fourteen.

• 48:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, they give you a little attitude, but they sat us.

• 48:27Stavros Halkias?

  Was it at least a separate restaurant? Did it at least have its own like page or something?

• 48:34Speaker 04

  No.

• 48:35Stavros Halkias?

  On Google, did it come up as a restaurant?

• 48:37Speaker 04

  Nah, it was the W, it was the lobby, the W, it's not.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Nice joint.

• 48:40Speaker 04

  Nice joint.

• 48:41Stavros Halkias?

  Damn. Cause at least sometimes, I've definitely, like when we were in Omaha, we went to a steakhouse that was connected to a Marriott or something, like, that'll happen.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this was more of like, this was the W's restaurant. Like this was, there was no door.

• 48:55Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  Sometimes that's not, that's not bad though. What hotel?

• 48:59Speaker 03

  I love them.

• 49:00Speaker 04

  What hotel is the bananas in in Jersey?

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Hasbrook Heights. Or no, wow, uh.

• 49:05Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever do it? I never did. I always missed Hasbrook Heights.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  I tell you what, I don't know what that bar is. They throw out a Caesar salad that's pretty goddamn good.

• 49:12Stavros Halkias?

  There's no way.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm telling you.

• 49:14Stavros Halkias?

  Hasbrook Heights.

• 49:16Speaker 04

  I'm telling you.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  See, the good thing about that-

• 49:17Stavros Halkias?

  Bananas is what? It's like a Hyatt or some shit, isn't it?

• 49:19Speaker 04

  Something. I opened up for Nate back there years ago.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  But that bar is like a neighborhood, like people from the neighborhood, it's like, that's what it is. It's a restaurant.

• 49:26Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 49:27Speaker 05

  Courtyard by Marriott?

• 49:28Stavros Halkias?

  Courtyard, a courtyard. I'm not cour- I like courtyard.

• 49:31Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a courtyard guy.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're, when it comes to hotels, we're real bare bone. It's just like, whatever kind of lower to medium end is, we're-

• 49:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're, you're, hotels bare bones, uh, airport breakfast.

• 49:45Stavros Halkias?

  I want the most expensive airport restaurant and I will stay at a fucking Knights Inn.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 49:51Stavros Halkias?

  You guys will double up hotel rooms.

• 49:52Speaker 04

  I'll get the caviar egg bites, please.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  No, it's just we're, we're, cause we do want like, we're like back to back to back. We're rarely ever posted up for the weekend. No, I get you, I get you. So it's like, what are we, you, you get in at three, you check in and go to sound check, then we're at the venue, wake up, we're on the road by 10. So I was like, we're really just sleeping there.

• 50:08Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm with you. Me and Elders are about to go on a, uh, and in fact, depending on when people hear this, it might be going on, uh, a run, uh, through the south where it's like, we're in a minivan.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Love it.

• 50:20Stavros Halkias?

  And we're just fucking crashing in a hotel and then driving the next morning.

• 50:24Speaker 04

  Now who's doing the driving?

• 50:25Speaker 03

  Your version of slumming is our version of doing the road. Guys, get this, we're in a minivan. Shout out to the town and country.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Who does the driving?

• 50:33Speaker 03

  For the Pacifica.

• 50:34Stavros Halkias?

  Um, we'll see who does the driving.

• 50:37Speaker 04

  Could it be, will you flip flop?

• 50:39Stavros Halkias?

  We'll probably flip flop.

• 50:40Speaker 05

  It could be me.

• 50:42Stavros Halkias?

  Uh huh. Could be Elders. Elders is the transporter.

• 50:44Speaker 04

  How's he behind the wheel?

• 50:44Stavros Halkias?

  He's horrific behind the wheel.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 50:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, he is. Honestly, if JP's not gonna be with us the whole time, JP's the best driver we got.

• 50:53Speaker 04

  Oh, is he?

• 50:53Stavros Halkias?

  He's the man.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  I like that.

• 50:55Stavros Halkias?

  He, like, I've.

• 50:56Speaker 04

  Paul Slender, good looking kid.

• 50:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:58Stavros Halkias?

  We've had, and we've had, uh, my friend, our, our pal, George Strait, George, he was just along for the ride. He was like, oh, come, it'll be fun. We'll be on the road. And he just was like, we like stopped for gas and he just was like, he just was like, Elders, give me the keys.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  No shit.

• 51:12Stavros Halkias?

  And he just fucking took over driving.

• 51:14Speaker 05

  Elders, he's gonna talk shit from the passenger seat, from the back row. Look.

• 51:19Speaker 04

  What's his biggest infraction, would you say? Has he almost killed you?

• 51:23Stavros Halkias?

  General awareness, I would say, is probably number one.

• 51:26Speaker 03

  When you're driving, when you got four souls on board.

• 51:29Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, missing exits.

• 51:30Speaker 05

  Once in a while I will miss an exit here and there.

• 51:33Stavros Halkias?

  Being fucking cross-eyed, undiagnosed lazy eye.

• 51:36Speaker 05

  My eyes are pretty bad, I will admit that. But I think if I have like, you know, if I got the car play going.

• 51:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right, checking his phone, that's another one.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 51:46Stavros Halkias?

  He loves to see what's going on on Twitter.

• 51:48Speaker 05

  No, I'll flip, I'll flip through a song on Spotify or something. You know, you gotta get the music right in the.

• 51:53Speaker 03

  Gotta get the vibes just right.

• 51:54Speaker 04

  You wanna have the soundtrack for your death ready to go?

• 51:58Speaker 04

  Playing the ballad of the Edmund Fitzgerald?

• 52:01Speaker 04

  Barreling through a toll booth?

• 52:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll do, I do most, if we, we have a guy on staff, Ryan D.

• 52:09Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to him.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  Who's, he's Diop's, director of operations.

• 52:12Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 52:13Speaker 03

  He gave himself that title.

• 52:14Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 52:15Speaker 03

  Hold drive the van if we're in the van, or the, I drove for, you know, the first handful of years. But I like driving though.

• 52:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  I'm like fucking locked in, I enjoy it.

• 52:25Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we're doing a small run, like on purpose, we were like playing smaller places, but they were closer.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:30Stavros Halkias?

  Cause like when you fucking, if you make a four hour drive in a day, it's over. Your day is just getting there.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  It's tough.

• 52:36Stavros Halkias?

  Showering, show, sleeping.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  Again, that's most of our tours.

• 52:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  We capped it, I had to stop drive, we'll get, we would get a Sprinter, anything over four, I'm like, cause then you just get to the venue and I'm like, I just see like fucking.

• 52:48Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  Like dotted lines flying, but I'm like, and I'm barely, I'm like limping through the show, so anything over four, we'll get now, you know, either Ryan will drive or we'll, we'll get a Sprinter van or something if we need it.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  They won't, they won't let me drive, I offer all the terms.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  He's, I'm not, this sounds like a joke, he stops at green lights and he, and he defends it.

• 53:07Speaker 04

  I stop at green lights in the city.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  In the city?

• 53:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  At late at night when we're driving home.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  No, during the day, he, dude, he fucking, and then I'm like, the people, he's like, well, what if someone comes across and T-bones me?

• 53:19Speaker 04

  That's how you get killed.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  I go, yeah, but the guy behind you is not expecting you to hit the brakes at a green light, you're, it's more dangerous.

• 53:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's fundamentally, like the fact that you won't even say, oh, it happened once or twice, that's still your policy, is it?

• 53:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Crazy. It's actually fucking insane.

• 53:35Speaker 04

  If I drove the car into the city and then I'm driving home and I'm going up, uh, First Avenue or Third Avenue.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  Um, the people coming the other way, they're drunk. It's the weekend.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  So are you.

• 53:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, and you know what kind of behavior they might do? Stopping at green lights.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  If you're fucking high or drunk, you might do the opposite of what you're supposed to do.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  So like, but like, so you're betting.

• 53:56Speaker 04

  I see your point.

• 53:57Speaker 03

  He thinks someone's gonna blow the red light.

• 53:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 53:59Speaker 03

  And come across traffic, which is like, point is that, I'm not saying that can't happen, but that's like point zero zero zero zero zero one percent of how many cars pass through an intersection, just fly through and T-bone somebody. In New York, a day, it's like, it barely happens.

• 54:13Stavros Halkias?

  And it's also like the kind of thing that you could go slower through the green lights.

• 54:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:17Stavros Halkias?

  But to stop is insane.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  I stop right in the middle.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  Don't you fucking move.

• 54:25Stavros Halkias?

  You're not worried about getting rear-ended, huh?

• 54:27Speaker 04

  Nah.

• 54:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, which is

• 54:28Speaker 04

  Rear-ended I can take.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  That is like a real

• 54:30Speaker 04

  That's all the way back there.

• 54:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Right.

• 54:34Speaker 04

  I felt bad for that fat guy that got rear-ended while he was eating that sandwich. You've seen that clip?

• 54:37Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 54:37Speaker 04

  It's tough. He was about to bite into a Jimmy John's and fuck it.

• 54:40Stavros Halkias?

  Did it go into his throat? Did he throat it?

• 54:42Speaker 04

  It went all over the place.

• 54:43Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, what a shame. What a fucking shame. I feel bad for the guy.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, I, uh, I, I don't, I mean, the bus was awesome, obviously.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  The bus is great.

• 54:54Stavros Halkias?

  But there is something about the jet, the road trip vibe.

• 54:57Speaker 03

  It's fun. It's like, it's very like, you know, it's like, what, how you, we, we used to have to do comedy where you're like, oh, we're getting in just anybody who has like the opener's car and we're driving for five hours to go bomb somewhere and collect a check for $55.

• 55:11Speaker 04

  Now, say, say Aldous is driving and you're, would you be shotgun if it was, say, it was just you two?

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Where do you fall?

• 55:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'd probably shotgun.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  Now, can you fall asleep? Can you snooze out?

• 55:22Stavros Halkias?

  Not, not really.

• 55:24Speaker 04

  You stay up with him?

• 55:25Stavros Halkias?

  About me snoozing out or what?

• 55:27Speaker 04

  Either way, how do you, what, do you guys do that?

• 55:29Stavros Halkias?

  It, it doesn't really happen. I think like, you know. The etiquette is you kinda, if it's just a two man.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:36Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta sort of, you're in it together. Even if there's another guy like, especially if it's like a two, three hour drive, like, I don't know. Plus, we're always like, we're, we're rolling like behind the scenes shit too. You feel like you gotta do a little performing no matter what in the car, but just, it's fun to fuck.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  It's all show business with this guy.

• 55:54Stavros Halkias?

  He's just waiting to make his move. He's waiting until he's the star.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  Sure. I respect it. If you need help, let me know.

• 56:00Stavros Halkias?

  Aldous thinks this, Aldous thinks this is, uh, he's gonna remake A Star is Born. But instead of, instead of like two people dating, it's like a guy and his podcast producer.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  Tell me something, stop.

• 56:15Speaker 03

  Cause these guys will sleep, I've been driving in the car for like five hours where like through like from like Houston to like Oklahoma City and they're all asleep.

• 56:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  That's horrific.

• 56:24Stavros Halkias?

  Our van is so comfortable.

• 56:26Speaker 03

  So nice and so comfortable.

• 56:27Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, we need a van dude.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  Fucking heated seats, I gotta drop back.

• 56:30Speaker 03

  It's like dude, if you do the math, we put a down payment on it and then it's like the, the, the monthly payment is less than what we were spending in fucking Ubers and you know, car rental and Sprinters a month.

• 56:41Speaker 04

  Much less than what we spent a month at the Palm.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, significantly less than the Palm, the Palm.

• 56:46Stavros Halkias?

  And it really is, and to tell the, the viewer at home who's unfamiliar, you have a tricked out basically cargo van.

• 56:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a Chevy Explorer or GMC Explorer van, uh, and it's like top of the line best you can get. Bought it at Fred Beans, shout out Fred Beans.

• 57:03Stavros Halkias?

  Fred Beans?

• 57:03Speaker 03

  It's just a place we bought it. We got no deal, no nothing. But the roof was leaking and then, and they made it right. So we, we, we had a war with Fred Beans for a couple of weeks and then they made it right. So now we're back on, we're back in the good graces with them.

• 57:17Speaker 04

  Good turns for Freddie.

• 57:19Speaker 03

  Shout out Beansies, um, but, uh.

• 57:21Stavros Halkias?

  And we're talking the full, you know, you have four reclining seats back there.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  So it's, um, so it's two cap, it's two captain's chairs in the front, two cap, cooler in the middle. How you don't feel alone, a little DCs, whatever you got cooking.

• 57:31Speaker 04

  Gummy bears who like them cold.

• 57:33Speaker 03

  Two captain's chairs.

• 57:34Stavros Halkias?

  You like them cold? You wanna, you wanna chew on them?

• 57:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, throw, throw a pack of gummy bears in the freezer next time. You'll love it.

• 57:39Stavros Halkias?

  I like them softer personally.

• 57:41Speaker 04

  Really? Alright.

• 57:42Stavros Halkias?

  The gelatin, it just, it just feels like it's too hard.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like it loses the.

• 57:47Stavros Halkias?

  Your first 10 bites are just getting them room temperature.

• 57:49Speaker 04

  I like that. You like that?

• 57:51Stavros Halkias?

  You're getting more out of them. Interesting.

• 57:52Speaker 04

  What about a Snickers?

• 57:53Stavros Halkias?

  More chew out of them?

• 57:54Speaker 04

  More chew. I like a chew.

• 57:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're not fucking broke anymore, Foley.

• 57:57Speaker 04

  I like a chew though.

• 57:58Speaker 03

  I would push back on that.

• 58:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. Come see these guys in Philly. They gotta sell, what is it? The Met?

• 58:06Speaker 03

  December 13th at the Met, the biggest show we ever did. The boys are coming home.

• 58:10Speaker 04

  The Met's beautiful. You guys are gonna love that.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're real fucking stoked. Um, it's a, it's, as you know, every time you go back to like your hometown, it's like, the energy is just fucking crazy. It's so, they're so good.

• 58:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're excited. December 13th at the Met.

• 58:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's gonna be fucking awesome.

• 58:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 58:26Stavros Halkias?

  But I, so, okay, so we got the cooler and then two captain's chairs.

• 58:29Speaker 03

  So two captain's chairs and then we did the bench. We were gonna spring for that third, like the third row of captain's chairs, but then. We run into fucking issues with parking it.

• 58:38Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, cuz we already have to like, so like Diops, the guy, the driver, Ryan D. Will call ahead because it's too high and too long to park in a lot of like hotel garages and stuff like that. Especially in New York too, we can't, but we can park it in fucking Jersey. We park it out by Newark.

• 58:54Speaker 04

  Do you ever just ride around for fun?

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Uh, not really, no.

• 58:59Speaker 04

  No?

• 58:59Speaker 03

  It's tough to get to.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  I don't even know, I don't even think they would give it to me if I went to get it. Ryan goes and gets it all the time.

• 59:04Speaker 04

  It's a hump to get it.

• 59:06Speaker 03

  So, but um, it goes, so I'm behind the drive, Ryan's driving.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Tuesday is usually sitting shotgun.

• 59:14Speaker 04

  It's been me lately, but I didn't like it when we first, and I'm down a couple of pounds. When we first got it, I didn't really fit in the front seat. The seatbelt was choking the shit out of me.

• 59:24Stavros Halkias?

  The backseats are more comfortable.

• 59:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  This is what he would do though. So if it was just, say it was just four of us. You know, two, the two guys, or two guys that work with us are in the front and the main hand would be in the captain's chairs. He would go sit in the back, the bench seat by himself.

• 59:39Speaker 04

  Real nice.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  But then he's leaving me sitting there by myself and he's fucking, you know, he's in a gummy bear coma and I'm just fucking sitting there with my dick in my hand.

• 59:48Speaker 04

  Out, yeah. Did we, we took that to a Phillies game where I was all fucked up, or was that a Sprinter?

• 59:52Speaker 03

  That was a Sprinter.

• 59:53Speaker 04

  That was a Sprinter.

• 59:54Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't remember the, doesn't remember the car.

• 59:56Speaker 03

  What van was I sleeping in that time?

• 59:59Speaker 04

  Well, those Sprinters, they can be real cold. Like if it's like a, like for like an on, those onset Sprinters, those things are brutal.

• 1:00:06Stavros Halkias?

  You don't like that?

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  No, I feel like I'm sitting in fucking Fenway Park. You kidding me?

• 1:00:10Stavros Halkias?

  Cold, I like, I like to be chilled out.

• 1:00:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, no.

• 1:00:13Stavros Halkias?

  I would think you run hot.

• 1:00:14Speaker 04

  No, no, no. I mean, they're cold as far as like this, it's very rigid. It's not, not, not comfortable. When it's a party one, it's great.

• 1:00:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Not temperature wise.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  We ended up doing it because some of the fucking drivers, I don't know if you got, I don't know how often you get the, the Sprinters for like longer things, but dude, those drivers are like, they're unregulated. They're not like, those guys, that's like their third job that day.

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  So dude, like we were getting guys where I'm like, we'd be like, dude, you have to slow down. This is crazy back here. He's like, oh no, it's okay.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  No, we gotta make time. They dock my pay if I don't make time.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like fucking slow down, man. Uh, and then Sam Morrell had a guy fall asleep twice. And go off the road and they were like, dude, pull over. Like we're done.

• 1:00:56Speaker 04

  We had a guy stop for gas one time.

• 1:00:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I love that.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  Dude, Ryan picked us up and then stopped for gas. I'm like, what the fuck?

• 1:01:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That's beautiful.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  But yes, it was mostly like a safety choice at some point.

• 1:01:07Stavros Halkias?

  I like that too though, because spiritually that is a very, you know, conversion van is another white trash thing.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  Of course. And again, it's like, you know, I'm so proud of it.

• 1:01:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:16Speaker 03

  That's like, I know I'm a dirtbag because I'm like, dude, I drove it the other day.

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  You got a TV in it, Stavi?

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  Huge TV.

• 1:01:23Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 1:01:24Speaker 03

  Sent pictures of my brother. I'm like, fuck it.

• 1:01:25Stavros Halkias?

  No, I know. And me, I'm this like, one time my cousin, this was, you ever, you ever, you know, when you're a kid and you realize like, your family, there's other, your family has other people in their lives and it blows your mind.

• 1:01:38Speaker 03

  Like what?

• 1:01:38Stavros Halkias?

  Like my cousin had cousins from her other side of the family.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  Who the fuck are these people?

• 1:01:43Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not related to at all, right?

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:45Stavros Halkias?

  And her cousins, I guess they're a big road tripping family and they had one of these vans. And they came through, and I didn't know them at all, but they had this sick van and they're popping Peter Pan on there and their snacks.

• 1:01:57Speaker 03

  How sick is that?

• 1:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  And I just remember telling my mom, like, I love them. I was like, I love, I don't even remember their names.

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  Our family stinks.

• 1:02:05Stavros Halkias?

  No, I literally was like, can we, when are they coming? And my mom was like pissed off. She's like, you're never going to see these people.

• 1:02:11Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, but they're my favorite. Can they be my aunt and uncle too?

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  They have an apartment car. It's awesome.

• 1:02:18Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, to this day, I remember that.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, man.

• 1:02:21Stavros Halkias?

  It's one of my most cherished childhood memories, just the fact that my cousin's cousins had a van with a little TV you could watch Peter Pan inside of.

• 1:02:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:29Stavros Halkias?

  Sick. That's all it takes.

• 1:02:30Speaker 04

  The first conversion van I was ever in was one of my dad's buddies.

• 1:02:33Stavros Halkias?

  Love that. He was living in, he was divorced and living in it?

• 1:02:36Speaker 04

  He, there was nothing in the back and the grandfather just sat in a lawn chair in the back. I thought that was unbelievable.

• 1:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 04

  We got, we got seats that are bolted in.

• 1:02:48Stavros Halkias?

  I had dreamed of that. Now, I wanted my first car to be a minivan with nothing in the back.

• 1:02:52Speaker 03

  Dude, my step grandfather did that? And it was the coolest thing in the way, he turned it into a pickup truck.

• 1:02:57Stavros Halkias?

  Phrase step grandfather.

• 1:03:01Speaker 04

  Step grandfather slash uncle.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, the crazy thing about I have an ex stepmom. Which is wild.

• 1:03:11Speaker 04

  I always wanted the A-Team van. That was, that was my thing.

• 1:03:13Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:03:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, with the fucking, with the fucking AKs in the.

• 1:03:17Stavros Halkias?

  Another classic Foley reference.

• 1:03:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  I always wanted the, I always wanted the van from Hogan's Heroes.

• 1:03:26Speaker 04

  They didn't have a van, it was the 40s.

• 1:03:29Speaker 04

  But they did have tunnels under Stalag 17. Or Stalag 13.

• 1:03:33Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, fuck, Eldis, don't you think it's about time we, we took these two scholars and gentlemen? Picked their brains and helped our viewers?

• 1:03:40Speaker 04

  Let's do it.

• 1:03:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:41Speaker 04

  So we're here for, for you guys.

• 1:03:43Stavros Halkias?

  Ever notice how every new AI tool asks you to explain your business to it all over again? Google Workspace with Gemini skips that. You get Google's AI built right into the premium versions of Gmail, Docs, Sheets, and more. No new tools, no extra logins. Just one subscription that gives you personalized AI right inside your actual workflow. Make work less work. Try Google Workspace with Gemini at G O O dot G L E slash Workspace with Gemini.

• 1:04:13Speaker 00

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends, everything else in life can wait. Your friends shouldn't. Let's go. White Claw, grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavors. White Claw's also works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:04:28Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, Stavi, Eldis, esteemed guest.

• 1:04:33Stavros Halkias?

  Me and my wife, been married about four years now.

• 1:04:37Stavros Halkias?

  We ended up bringing someone into a relationship and things have been kinda interesting, I guess. Yeah, you're fine. It was fun, we enjoyed it. She's, uh, it's been about two months since then, she's pregnant now. Oh. And so we're not really sure what to do. I say we, it's more of me. She's denying. That there's any chance it could be someone else's, but I'm also there and I saw him fucking cream pie my wife. So I would have to assume there's a chance it's not my kid. Um, not really sure what to do. I really love this woman. Obviously don't want anything to happen that would be bad, but.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  This ruined my day.

• 1:05:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, any advice you have would be fantastic.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:05:20Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yeah, no, she's the best, but yeah, she'd get cream pie'd by another guy and that's also. Your wife for this girl. Put a little damage on our marriage and relationship. So we'll see what happens. Um, yeah, she's not really up to the, uh.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  He said he cream pie'd my wife.

• 1:05:38Stavros Halkias?

  The test to get tested, but as far as whose kid it is, uh, cause.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, the guy.

• 1:05:43Stavros Halkias?

  Thinking there's a chance it's anyone else's, but I'm thinking there's a chance. You always have the deep thought. Anyway, thank you. You're the best. Live on.

• 1:05:53Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks, Eldon. Bye.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  I, I think I have that right.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  So hold on. So when you freeze the gummy bears.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  That's Fred Beans game.

• 1:06:01Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay. I misheard it. I heard it as like.

• 1:06:04Speaker 04

  Brought a lady in.

• 1:06:05Stavros Halkias?

  The lady and he was like, I don't think it could be mine because I cream pie my wife.

• 1:06:10Speaker 05

  He said, I'm also there and I saw him fucking cream.

• 1:06:12Speaker 03

  I saw him cream pie my wife.

• 1:06:14Stavros Halkias?

  I mean.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  Dude, you're letting another guy cream pie your wife?

• 1:06:16Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want to be a prude, but we've reached my limit of like.

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  I think it's hot.

• 1:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sexual, I mean, yeah.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  I know, but then you, I think dude, listen.

• 1:06:25Stavros Halkias?

  You think it's hot? Somebody nuts in your wife? That's fucking, I mean, this, I mean, that, that does check out.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  You let the guy cream pie. I'm out of here.

• 1:06:38Stavros Halkias?

  I mean.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  Listen, I think if you're letting that happen, that's you, that you, you live that life where I don't, I mean.

• 1:06:46Stavros Halkias?

  I see what you're saying.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  You gotta, I mean.

• 1:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  Even though it's not your technical seed, you were, you were involved in the conception.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  You're at the poker table. You know what I mean? It's like.

• 1:06:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, or I, I mean, my would get to test.

• 1:06:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's a group project. You decided fucking your wife is a group project.

• 1:07:00Speaker 03

  Yes, listen, I. Did not, I just had a kid and I did not do that with my wife and another man. I was thinking about getting a DNA test. So buddy, fucking test away.

• 1:07:13Speaker 04

  Now, what does that, what's that look like?

• 1:07:16Speaker 03

  It looks like.

• 1:07:16Speaker 04

  So they brought a guy into the relationship. I wonder if it was, if it's, what's the word for that? Poly?

• 1:07:21Stavros Halkias?

  Poly, sure.

• 1:07:21Speaker 04

  If they're like in a, like if they're, if they're dating and doing stuff, if it's just sex, that's just the threesome, right?

• 1:07:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:27Speaker 04

  That's just getting freaky on the weekend.

• 1:07:28Stavros Halkias?

  But it seems like he was in the, this third is in the mix in a more.

• 1:07:31Speaker 05

  Seems like it's kind of a more formalized.

• 1:07:33Stavros Halkias?

  In a more, yes, legislated in way, yes.

• 1:07:36Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:07:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, buddy, I think if you don't, I mean, I, listen, I don't know what I'm talking about.

• 1:07:43Stavros Halkias?

  Why the fuck, why the fuck wasn't she on birth control?

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  It's also like, yeah, like, let him, let the first couple of times, like, let him come on her tits or something. What are we doing here? Let's get pussyfoot into this a little bit.

• 1:07:54Stavros Halkias?

  And they probably did, though. It's been a couple of months.

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 1:07:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:58Speaker 05

  It is crazy that she's straight up like, there's no way it could be anyone else's.

• 1:08:02Stavros Halkias?

  Like, what are you talking, come on.

• 1:08:04Speaker 04

  Oh, there's a way.

• 1:08:05Speaker 05

  Suspicious to say.

• 1:08:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true. That is actually a good, because what happened, what's happening here is.

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  Well, it could be dates. She could know her cycle and be like, it's like, it's like, not, was not feasible those days.

• 1:08:14Stavros Halkias?

  But I see what else is saying.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  That's all I'm saying.

• 1:08:16Stavros Halkias?

  This screams, this screams, it's actually a third guy's kid.

• 1:08:20Speaker 03

  Yes, it screams that she goes, stop flipping over rocks here. You're not gonna like what you find.

• 1:08:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, this is.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  I mean, you gotta get a test, dude. It's gonna be hanging over you forever.

• 1:08:30Speaker 04

  Maybe the third guy, the third guy, the second guy and her might have had sex solo without him?

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  I don't, no, he says he.

• 1:08:38Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think so.

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  Uh, listen.

• 1:08:40Speaker 05

  I mean, it sounds like he saw her, she saw this guy cream pie his wife at least once. That's all you need.

• 1:08:46Speaker 03

  It's nuts, dude.

• 1:08:47Speaker 05

  That's the magic bullet.

• 1:08:48Speaker 04

  Will you stop talking about food, please?

• 1:08:50Speaker 03

  Also with his wife, yeah, it's crazy.

• 1:08:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, listen, fu, even if you're gonna fuck my wife, don't nut inside her.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  There's gotta be something reserved for you, you know what I mean?

• 1:09:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, what are you doing? You blow up my car, you don't get to redline it, you know what I mean? You don't get to take it to 140 miles an hour.

• 1:09:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's my goddamn stereo.

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  I paid for this conversion van. And I want to listen to my music.

• 1:09:14Speaker 04

  Who programmed Christian radio in here?

• 1:09:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if I, if I could quote the kids, I believe that's what they call a, a party foul. The kids, a party foul's slang from when we were in college. God damn, you're old as fuck, Foley.

• 1:09:31Speaker 04

  Say last, am I right?

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  If I can quote, quote the great Golden Girls, I would say. That's on fleek. Craig, Craig.

• 1:09:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:09:43Speaker 03

  You'd listen, this is what I, this is how I would handle it. That's gonna be, it's your wife. This isn't like some girl that you think you're gonna walk away from. This is gonna forever hang over your head. So like, have this shitty conversation now.

• 1:09:54Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  So you can clear it up and move on with your life in whatever direction you choose, but you have to get an answer. Otherwise, you're, it's gonna be fucking, the next 30 years are gonna suck.

• 1:10:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you'll just either have this conversation once now, or have it in your head every day for the rest of your life.

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:10:13Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:10:14Speaker 03

  Have a shitty week or a shitty life.

• 1:10:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I would need to know. I, I mean, and then-

• 1:10:19Speaker 04

  Every day you look at your new Asian baby.

• 1:10:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And then there is the school of thought that's like, if you are this much of a cuck.

• 1:10:28Speaker 03

  Maybe you get off on that.

• 1:10:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:30Speaker 04

  Oh shit.

• 1:10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Also, there's the other thing of like, even if it's not my seed, I was there while it happened.

• 1:10:38Speaker 03

  That's a big jump for me.

• 1:10:40Stavros Halkias?

  And, and it's my wife, but it's my wife.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  I get it.

• 1:10:42Stavros Halkias?

  And I could, I consented and even probably-

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  You bestowed that upon you, yes.

• 1:10:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know, there is an art, like, I could see where she's coming from, where she's like, you want me to get cream pied by other guys? And now if it's his DNA, what, you're gonna divorce me? What did you think was gonna happen when guys were, when this guy from fucking Craigslist was letting batter off in my fucking snatch?

• 1:11:05Speaker 04

  Sure. Who's his wife? Jazz Paul and Terry? The way you're saying that? The fuck's the matter with you? What'd you think was gonna happen?

• 1:11:11Stavros Halkias?

  What'd you think? He thought it hit my pussy?

• 1:11:21Speaker 03

  That's crazy to me.

• 1:11:22Speaker 04

  That's quite the pickle you got going there.

• 1:11:24Stavros Halkias?

  It is quite the pickle. Now, I, you get.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  Good luck with all that.

• 1:11:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's hard for me to put myself in the headspace of a man who lets his wife get cream. Like, I'll even, I'll even entertain letting someone fuck my wife. Cream pieing is, and maybe this is where we said, again, I'm a prude here. I admit this. This is my line.

• 1:11:42Speaker 05

  I do wonder what was going on in the moment. He's like, yeah, two months, we're all fucking. And then he's like, oh yeah, he's just fucking her good right now, but there's no way he's gonna cream pie inside.

• 1:11:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly. He's like, oh shit, he's getting closer. Do I tap, do I tap myself in?

• 1:11:56Speaker 04

  I go out to the fridge to get a Crystal Light and I come back in here? And you're moon pieing my broad?

• 1:12:03Stavros Halkias?

  Foley's just, yeah, this is just Foley's dream scenario.

• 1:12:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:07Stavros Halkias?

  He's got Crystal Light, someone else is taking on the chore of fucking his wife.

• 1:12:11Speaker 03

  Physical exertion, yeah.

• 1:12:14Speaker 03

  I'm gonna sit this one out, big dog.

• 1:12:17Speaker 04

  I'm gonna hit the shower, don't cream fire her, not like that.

• 1:12:20Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna catch the end of the Phillies game in this recliner.

• 1:12:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, that, I mean, ooh, I don't know, man, that's crazy to me.

• 1:12:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but I'm with you, though. I do think.

• 1:12:29Speaker 03

  Do have the tough conversation now.

• 1:12:31Stavros Halkias?

  If you want, if you feel like it's gonna make a material difference to you, whether this is biologically your kid or not, and I, we, by the way, understand if that's the kid, it would actually be stranger or not. Or, or not even, yeah, or even just like, you'd be a very specific kinda guy for this not to bother you.

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  It's a great way to put that.

• 1:12:50Stavros Halkias?

  And, and by the way, the kinda guy who lets his wife get cream pie'd and the guy, kinda guy who's okay with it, with this scenario, there's a, I think the middle of that Venn diagram is pretty sizable, you know, potentially, but you're clearly not one of those guys. If you want, if you feel like you need to have a DNA test, get a DNA test. If your wife refuses, that would. That would make me-

• 1:13:13Speaker 03

  It's also like just wait till he's fucking, you know, six months or whatever and, you know-

• 1:13:18Stavros Halkias?

  Repetitiously-

• 1:13:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. You gotta do it, dude.

• 1:13:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, we're going to Disneyland. Father-son trip.

• 1:13:25Speaker 04

  Do you keep him around, though? Is that, does that-

• 1:13:27Stavros Halkias?

  The guy who cream pie'd your wife and might have-

• 1:13:29Speaker 03

  He, listen, that guy don't want a kid. He's, he's dumping clips in your wife. He's like-

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  But see-

• 1:13:33Speaker 03

  This is cradle one fucking-

• 1:13:34Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying. It might, like, you guys are-

• 1:13:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, true. Yeah, I guess the two reads on this are, his wife either is fucking around, there's a, there's a possible extra guy he doesn't know about, or she's, she understands the situation. Of the two guys that could have impregnated her, one is a guy who was just getting his rocks off fucking a stranger's wife-

• 1:13:53Speaker 03

  Feeling like this is cool.

• 1:13:54Stavros Halkias?

  And one is her husband. So she's like, who's more liable to take care of my kid? She doesn't want to do this coin flip.

• 1:14:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:01Stavros Halkias?

  She's committed to you, but she's also like, I don't want to give him the out of this being the other guy's kid. God, and I hate to, look, I guess if there's one lesson here would be like, if you are in-

• 1:14:12Speaker 03

  You think there's only one lesson here?

• 1:14:14Stavros Halkias?

  If you're in a polyamorous situation, don't let the guy splurge in your wife.

• 1:14:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:19Stavros Halkias?

  Blow it on her tits.

• 1:14:20Speaker 03

  Regardless of how many times he asks.

• 1:14:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no matter how hot you find it. No matter how much, no matter how much it feel, while you're, while you're sitting in that chair wearing stockings and they're rubbing up on your-

• 1:14:32Speaker 03

  And butt plug in.

• 1:14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Dick just right, and you're thinking, wow, you know what would make this, take this to the next level? This guy dumping goo in my wife. Just go ahead and skip that part.

• 1:14:42Speaker 04

  I never really got the cream pie thing.

• 1:14:44Stavros Halkias?

  The, enjoying it?

• 1:14:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, never, never my thing.

• 1:14:47Speaker 03

  Foley is not the father.

• 1:14:49Stavros Halkias?

  I think bi, that's biologically interesting because it's, you would argue it's the one thing you're-

• 1:14:53Speaker 03

  It's not for me either. We're an anti-cream pie podcast.

• 1:14:58Stavros Halkias?

  You guys are coming out against cream pie?

• 1:15:00Speaker 03

  I'm not coming out against them.

• 1:15:01Stavros Halkias?

  That doesn't mean just coming inside of her. That means you do it right there on the edge, so it's, it leaks out, right?

• 1:15:06Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 1:15:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, cream pie just me-

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  It's coming inside.

• 1:15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's all it means?

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought, but then it comes out, you have to see it.

• 1:15:11Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe technically in like porn or nature or like- Cream pieing someone is just nutting in a pussy.

• 1:15:16Speaker 04

  Oh, you sure?

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  I don't gotta push, I-

• 1:15:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sure about that.

• 1:15:19Speaker 03

  I gotta push back on that. Let's call this guy back in.

• 1:15:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, he's not, he's-

• 1:15:23Speaker 04

  He's bowling crime.

• 1:15:24Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought there was, uh, okay.

• 1:15:25Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I, yeah, yeah. Not the porn thing where they make you-

• 1:15:28Speaker 03

  That's my more theatrical, uh-

• 1:15:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:15:31Speaker 04

  Comes back out.

• 1:15:32Speaker 03

  Oh, then I love cream pies.

• 1:15:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly, that's what I'm saying.

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  I'm CPing.

• 1:15:37Stavros Halkias?

  Now Foley, what about you? Knowing this new information, are you, are you still anti-cream pieing? More of a ringdings man.

• 1:15:46Speaker 04

  Devil dog.

• 1:15:46Speaker 03

  That's when you do it in the butt. Devil dog, you cum in her butt?

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  Cum in her belly button.

• 1:15:54Stavros Halkias?

  Better size matchup?

• 1:15:58Speaker 04

  About to hit this broad with a crimpit.

• 1:16:00Speaker 03

  It's a deep cut.

• 1:16:01Speaker 04

  Deep cut.

• 1:16:02Stavros Halkias?

  I love a crimpit.

• 1:16:03Speaker 03

  Regional cut?

• 1:16:03Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a big crimpit guy.

• 1:16:04Speaker 04

  I know, I know.

• 1:16:05Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a big crimpit guy.

• 1:16:06Speaker 04

  You love a crimpit?

• 1:16:07Stavros Halkias?

  I do.

• 1:16:07Speaker 04

  Baltimore to Boston.

• 1:16:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. So, good luck, man.

• 1:16:13Speaker 03

  Let's put a button in that.

• 1:16:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, let's just tie all up. Good luck. Do whatever you need to do, maybe.

• 1:16:18Speaker 04

  Hang in there, dog.

• 1:16:19Stavros Halkias?

  Call us with an update. I would love an update, actually.

• 1:16:21Speaker 04

  Oh, yes.

• 1:16:21Stavros Halkias?

  Call, in fact, call into a live show. We would love to speak to you.

• 1:16:24Speaker 03

  Come to the show in Philly. We'll bring you up on stage. You can do it.

• 1:16:27Speaker 04

  All three is.

• 1:16:28Stavros Halkias?

  That is an are you garbage?

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  All four is.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  That is quite an are you garbage situation.

• 1:16:32Speaker 03

  Yes, very much so.

• 1:16:34Stavros Halkias?

  Well, let me have you weigh in on my are you garbage situation for this morning, what I had for lunch today. Boxed mac and cheese.

• 1:16:41Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:16:41Speaker 03

  Name brand?

• 1:16:42Stavros Halkias?

  It was a, yeah, it was like one of those like.

• 1:16:45Speaker 04

  Was it Annie's?

• 1:16:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, but it's like one of those like protein chickpea ones.

• 1:16:49Speaker 03

  Gotcha, gotcha.

• 1:16:50Stavros Halkias?

  So, it's boxed, it's a little, it's a, it's a bit higher end of boxed mac and cheese. But then I also threw some lump crab meat in there.

• 1:16:57Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:16:58Stavros Halkias?

  To create canned Phillips.

• 1:17:00Speaker 03

  Just stirred it in?

• 1:17:01Stavros Halkias?

  Stirred it in for the pro, the easy protein. But I did ultimately have boxed mac and cheese with lump crab meat.

• 1:17:07Speaker 04

  You had boxed chickpea mac and cheese?

• 1:17:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 1:17:10Speaker 03

  I gotta go classy.

• 1:17:11Stavros Halkias?

  Like a Bonza pasta type of situation.

• 1:17:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, I gotta go classy on that. It's not trashy. I get why it would be. I think if it was like name brand craft.

• 1:17:20Stavros Halkias?

  It was craft?

• 1:17:21Speaker 03

  A blue box, you just got like a generic blue box.

• 1:17:23Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:17:24Speaker 03

  And put in imitation crab meat, I'd have to push back on that.

• 1:17:27Stavros Halkias?

  This, this can of crab meat was expensive.

• 1:17:29Speaker 03

  And also, you're doing it for the pro, you're doing it for the macros.

• 1:17:32Stavros Halkias?

  For the macros.

• 1:17:32Speaker 03

  So, there, I gotta, I gotta defer, you get, you gotta grade on a curve there.

• 1:17:35Speaker 04

  Most crab cakes at high end steak houses and stuff like that is canned crab meat.

• 1:17:40Stavros Halkias?

  I would assume so, yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:43Speaker 04

  And I'll tell you why you're right there.

• 1:17:45Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. I'm on the cusp though, for sure.

• 1:17:47Speaker 04

  Nah, what do you say on the cusp? I'd say why you're right there if not even have to worry about it. Okay, is you got the, you got the chickpea pasta.

• 1:17:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:17:55Speaker 04

  Okay, you got high end stuff, probably getting Whole Foods or something like that.

• 1:17:58Stavros Halkias?

  It was purchased at Whole Foods.

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  There you go, you got, you got the. You got the high end crab meat.

• 1:18:02Stavros Halkias?

  But that's more about.

• 1:18:03Speaker 03

  Scotty Rockefeller over here.

• 1:18:05Speaker 04

  All you're missing from putting that down on, on the table at a dinner party and going, oh my God, is a little chopped up scallion.

• 1:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're right. I ate it out of a plastic Tupperware container.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  Ate it out of a Wegmans bag.

• 1:18:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I shook it up in a bag, yeah, yeah. I cooked it by boil, by putting it in hot water and dunking it like it's fucking prison.

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  That's sous vide though, that's good.

• 1:18:27Speaker 04

  That's, that's.

• 1:18:28Speaker 03

  I gotta place back on that dude.

• 1:18:30Stavros Halkias?

  All right, all right.

• 1:18:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're okay with that.

• 1:18:31Speaker 03

  I get, it doesn't feel great.

• 1:18:33Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't feel great.

• 1:18:34Speaker 03

  But if, considering all things, I think.

• 1:18:37Speaker 04

  How was it? Was it good?

• 1:18:39Stavros Halkias?

  It was delicious.

• 1:18:40Speaker 03

  Do you have any leftover?

• 1:18:41Stavros Halkias?

  No, I.

• 1:18:41Speaker 04

  Did you add any personal cheese into it or anything?

• 1:18:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, because I am watching my figure.

• 1:18:46Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:18:47Stavros Halkias?

  So I just went with whatever was on the box. I made it as instructed.

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  As is.

• 1:18:51Speaker 04

  So you weren't cutting up pieces of pepper jack and throwing it in there?

• 1:18:53Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 1:18:54Speaker 03

  Which I think if you were to put a, put a layer of cheese on top, throw that in the oven for a couple of minutes.

• 1:18:58Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 1:18:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you put that in a ramekin.

• 1:19:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:01Stavros Halkias?

  Put some cheese over it, broil it, it's the classiest meal of all time.

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

  You're on a garden, whatever her name is.

• 1:19:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that was, yeah, yeah, but the Ina, I believe, but that's right, yeah.

• 1:19:09Speaker 04

  I'm a Jeffrey fan. That guy's been making bank for years.

• 1:19:13Speaker 03

  I don't even know what he's talking about.

• 1:19:14Speaker 04

  Her husband, Jeffrey.

• 1:19:15Stavros Halkias?

  Jeffrey, Ina Garten's husband Jeffrey.

• 1:19:17Speaker 03

  I don't know who Ina Garten is.

• 1:19:18Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:19:19Speaker 03

  I love her.

• 1:19:19Stavros Halkias?

  She's a culinary legend.

• 1:19:21Speaker 04

  Yes. She's got a spot out in the Hamptons.

• 1:19:23Stavros Halkias?

  What's her show, eldest? Do you remember?

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  Um, Barefoot Contessa.

• 1:19:26Stavros Halkias?

  Barefoot Contessa.

• 1:19:27Speaker 04

  She was in, I saw her thing, she was in finance back in the day, I think in the seventies, and the reason it's called Barefoot Contessa is she bought a, like a, like a bakery or something like that, that was called Barefoot Contessa.

• 1:19:38Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, she inherited the name.

• 1:19:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, back in the Hamptons when nobody was hanging out there.

• 1:19:43Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to her. Shout out to her. Uh, one, this is maybe the most well versed you've ever been on any subject in your life.

• 1:19:50Speaker 04

  See, there we go. I didn't even give you five minutes on anything.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  You gave, you gave 15 seconds.

• 1:19:55Speaker 04

  Give me something else. You want to talk about Three Eye Atlas?

• 1:19:57Stavros Halkias?

  Three, no.

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:19:59Speaker 03

  He's been trying to shove that into fucking.

• 1:20:01Stavros Halkias?

  Let's take the next call. I think it's called Atlas Shrugged fully.

• 1:20:04Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  What he said.

• 1:20:08Speaker 03

  And with your help, we can catch that monkey.

• 1:20:10Speaker 04

  Fountainhead, I also tell people I read that.

• 1:20:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's so, why are you reading these libertarian books?

• 1:20:15Speaker 04

  Is that what they are?

• 1:20:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:16Speaker 04

  I didn't know. I thought it was, I thought they were all space movies.

• 1:20:19Stavros Halkias?

  You thought it was like sci-fi fantasy?

• 1:20:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought it was.

• 1:20:22Speaker 03

  They're in the future.

• 1:20:24Speaker 04

  That's like Stranger in a Strange Land. I tell people I read that. I always thought that was sci-fi.

• 1:20:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't remember that one.

• 1:20:29Speaker 04

  It's about an alien.

• 1:20:30Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, mhm.

• 1:20:31Speaker 04

  That might have been a hidden meaning.

• 1:20:33Stavros Halkias?

  Let's play the call, Elvis.

• 1:20:34Speaker 03

  Some of that lump crap meet up here.

• 1:20:37Speaker 06

  Hey, what's up, Stav? Um, I'm gonna get straight to the points here. Um, I think I've accidentally been getting tattooed from a Nazi. Um, yeah, fucking crazy. I live in the south and I've been getting this sleeve done, um, not Nazi related. Um, and this person has been super cool so far and does a really great job. And then the last session, um, just came out of nowhere with some like conspiracy theory stuff, which I'm not into. And then, um.

• 1:21:14Stavros Halkias?

  I think I know who the conspiracies might have been targeting.

• 1:21:17Speaker 03

  The Polish?

• 1:21:22Speaker 03

  Not a big Thai food guy, huh?

• 1:21:24Stavros Halkias?

  Keep going, Elvis.

• 1:21:26Speaker 06

  Super crazy anti-Jew stuff and like people didn't die in the Holocaust and Muslims are taking over. And I'm sitting there like, what the fuck do I do?

• 1:21:40Speaker 04

  Trying to talk about the Alabama game.

• 1:21:41Speaker 06

  In the middle of a tattoo, you can't necessarily just get up.

• 1:21:44Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:21:45Speaker 06

  Um, so yeah, I've got, I'm mostly done, but just have one more session. And obviously I don't want to give this person more money.

• 1:21:54Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, but.

• 1:21:55Speaker 06

  But I'm really struggling with like, now I have this tattoo on my arm and I've loved it so far, but now it's associated with this person and I don't like that at all.

• 1:22:08Stavros Halkias?

  Well, hold on though.

• 1:22:09Speaker 06

  So I have like weird feelings about it and I'm just wondering if I should just get over it and.

• 1:22:13Speaker 03

  Go to another person and get it touched up and get it finished. Or, I mean, obviously, I certainly don't want to go to this person again. Um, or just like, should I get it removed? Or, I don't know, man, this whole thing has been crazy and it's just throw me for a loop. Um, so I think I could just use some advice in general on how to proceed with all this. So, appreciate it, uh, big fan and congrats on the success. Bye.

• 1:22:40Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, so first of all, I understand the knee jerk reaction to be like, fuck, man.

• 1:22:45Speaker 03

  The emotional reaction.

• 1:22:45Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna look at this, a fucking Nazi made this, but I'll say this, like, have you ever had drywall done in your house?

• 1:22:51Speaker 03

  Have you ever been to McDonald's?

• 1:22:52Stavros Halkias?

  Have you ever gotten roofing done?

• 1:22:54Speaker 03

  The only problem is you know this guy's an idiot. Like, he's shared those thoughts with you.

• 1:22:59Stavros Halkias?

  I promise you, you've enjoyed the work

• 1:23:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:03Stavros Halkias?

  of anti-Jewish conspiracy theorists many times. If you've, if you've had any infrastructure done in the, have you been on the roads in the South?

• 1:23:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:14Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, like, that's the thing, dude, it's like, it's, it sucks that he, he felt comfortable enough. And it sucks that he has these opinions, obviously, but, you know.

• 1:23:26Speaker 03

  You just go, I mean, like, I would just, you got one session left with the, it's not like you're funding, like, the American Nazi Party or something. You're giving this guy this money who's like, gonna, you know, it's not, I don't know.

• 1:23:36Stavros Halkias?

  And if his work is good and you, it'd be, it'd be different if it was like, you're at the consultation and he dropped, and he hasn't started working on you and he does some weird shit. And look, if you feel like you don't want to go back, I get that too. But I would say, you're not even in the wrong to just finish this fucking piece with this person. It just, this sucks because this shows you how bad the world is. That now, it's like, this used to be like a cra, like, can you believe this fucking nut job? And now it's like, oh, he's part of Trump's army, he's part of like, now you're like, oh, uh, am I fu, am I helping to fund the fascism that will be running this country in nine years?

• 1:24:15Speaker 03

  I also think too, it's like, this guy's just probably ended up on some of the wrong fucking, you know, webs, like, he's reading the wrong shit. He's probably an idiot in every sense. Of the word and he's just like, he's focused on this.

• 1:24:27Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, I'm with you, but I'm saying like 20 years ago, it would be easy and almost funny to be like, can you believe this fucking lunatic?

• 1:24:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:36Stavros Halkias?

  Now it's like, it seems to be a sizable part of a number of Americans agree with him. You know, it's like, that's the scary part is like, you're like, fuck, I hope my tattoo artist and his friends don't take up arms against me and the local government here. But yeah, dude.

• 1:24:52Speaker 04

  He's pulling up the sleeves, he's coming in the house, you did my arm, remember?

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:56Speaker 03

  Also, I will say if you're Jewish, don't go back, find a new guy. I will say that. That would be my only thing. Otherwise, let it, let it fucking roll.

• 1:25:02Stavros Halkias?

  I say even if you're Jewish, get a little silly putty, make it look like you're uncircumcised. Pretend your, pretend your pants fell down, then you had a wardrobe malfunction. But yeah. And look, as long as he's not sneaking in any fucking SS symbols in your full sleeve Dragon Ball Z tattoo.

• 1:25:22Stavros Halkias?

  Like, yeah, don't, again, it's like, this sucks, whatever, but you're totally, you don't, I mean, it's not your fault that this guy was harboring these opinions.

• 1:25:35Speaker 03

  That you had no idea.

• 1:25:36Stavros Halkias?

  And now you're gonna get it removed, dude? No. It's like, again, like I said, if you've had roofing done, my father was a contractor, I know who his associates were. If you've had any, like, unfortunate, especially in the South.

• 1:25:49Speaker 03

  If you've been to any of my family parties.

• 1:25:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you, like, you just happen to know that this guy was a piece of shit and it's like, look, just fucking get the tattoo done and move on. Don't ever go back. Don't get new tattoos there, but whatever your level of comfort, finish it either there or somewhere else, but you don't have to take it off. I mean, you, you shouldn't have to do, because removing a tattoo is fucking hard.

• 1:26:13Speaker 04

  Brutal.

• 1:26:14Speaker 03

  And like thousands and then like years, you know.

• 1:26:17Stavros Halkias?

  So finish up the tat-

• 1:26:18Speaker 03

  Maybe check out some of the literature he has too.

• 1:26:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and it's like, listen, have an open mind. I mean, are things going well right now?

• 1:26:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, you're calling in to stop for advice. Maybe this guy's got the, you know, the website.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's definitely him. He's right.

• 1:26:30Speaker 03

  Do a deep dive.

• 1:26:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's not that fucking, you know, the richest people are hoarding more and more resources. It's that there's a secret cabal. I love this, like, they're secret. It's like, it's not a secret. They just fucking, every, rich people just steal from the poor. We've been watching it happen, like, in our, in our faces. They are taking everything from us. There's no secret group. They're just like, yeah, we're just gonna pay to get the president we want elected. He's gonna give us tax cuts and you don't even get healthcare. That, it's just happening in our, in front of our fucking eyes. Um, but, you know, good luck, buddy. Don't remove that shit. Don't remove that shit because you came across a Nazi in Alabama.

• 1:27:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:10Stavros Halkias?

  You don't deserve, you don't, you shouldn't have to fucking go through that because some guy, uh...

• 1:27:15Speaker 04

  I know, it's like he got his son in Martin's Vineyard or something like that.

• 1:27:18Speaker 03

  You don't need to, I, you don't need to connect it to, at all, to me.

• 1:27:22Stavros Halkias?

  I agree.

• 1:27:23Speaker 03

  It's like, those are two independent events and just move on. You shouldn't emotionally connect.

• 1:27:28Stavros Halkias?

  Plus, if you're single and progressive chicks are your thing, you get to, yeah, you know what happened though? This guy was, I don't know. What, what's your, what do you think if you're single and progressive? Do you think it's a conversation starter that you have a Nazi's work on your arm?

• 1:27:43Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:45Speaker 04

  I say, don't bring that up.

• 1:27:49Speaker 04

  No, bring it up!

• 1:27:52Speaker 03

  This is from when I was undercover.

• 1:27:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:27:58Speaker 04

  The Italian Klansman?

• 1:27:59Stavros Halkias?

  What, yeah. What else we got, LD? Hey, Stavi, uh, long time listener. Um, so I was watching one of your older episodes, and I remember you said that your parents, uh, split up, like, when you were an adult. Uh, I now find myself in this position. I'm 27 and my parents are splitting up. Um, they've been together since they were teenagers. So it's definitely kind of a big thing. I'm an only child. Um, so I guess my question is, I'm wondering if there's anything, uh, like, looking back that you wish you had done differently while you were kind of processing this? Um, do you have any advice?

• 1:28:42Speaker 04

  For, you know, how to deal with this as an adult. Um, I know like every situation's totally different, but I'm wondering if there's something that you wish you had done differently, looking back on it. Thanks, Sal. I love you. Bye.

• 1:28:57Speaker 04

  What do you think, bud?

• 1:28:58Stavros Halkias?

  Not really.

• 1:28:58Speaker 03

  How old were, I didn't, how old were your parents when they split up?

• 1:29:00Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, dude.

• 1:29:01Speaker 03

  Or were you?

• 1:29:01Stavros Halkias?

  It was recent. It was like a few years ago.

• 1:29:03Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:29:04Stavros Halkias?

  Um, see, the thing I would say to you, even the premise of this question, like, do I wish I had done anything different? It's like, this isn't about you at all.

• 1:29:14Speaker 03

  Zero. My take is like, zero.

• 1:29:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's where I would.

• 1:29:17Speaker 03

  You got everything you could from your parents to get you to this point, and it's like, great. Everybody's now individuals.

• 1:29:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and, and I think like, um.

• 1:29:25Speaker 04

  Is it your fault that they stayed together for you? Sure.

• 1:29:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I would have been a shittier kid to drive them apart earlier.

• 1:29:34Stavros Halkias?

  Um, you know, I don't, yeah, I don't think, I think actually one of the only good parts is that you didn't, you were a fully formed adult, and if you let, if you're letting this affect you,

• 1:29:48Stavros Halkias?

  there's something wrong there. You're like falling into this, this trap of like, I don't know, nostalgia.

• 1:29:53Speaker 04

  They're gonna be happier.

• 1:29:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is better for everybody.

• 1:29:56Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:29:57Stavros Halkias?

  Is it a little annoying to have to figure out holidays at this age? Sure. Uh, but I don't know, just make time for both your parents where you can and like, you know, it's, honestly, it shouldn't, it doesn't really matter. Um, I would say just like, I don't know the specifics of your guy's situation, but like, one thing that I did was I didn't really humor anyone. I didn't, I didn't pretend to take their side. I was just like, here's what I believe. I don't care what hap, like, it was almost freeing because I could be like, great, now I don't have to get involved with your guy's relationship. We can focus on our. The only thing that matters is how we get along and how you treat me now. I don't have to worry about your fucked up marriage anymore. Yeah, this overall bigger picture.

• 1:30:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, this is, I don't have to continue to try to solve this anymore. I find it, I find it so much easier.

• 1:30:47Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:30:48Stavros Halkias?

  I find it so much easier. I relate to them as individuals. I don't have to go into my fucked up family and exactly like you said, like manage, try and avoid, you know, there being some big blow up. On this, how is it gonna, I mean.

• 1:31:00Speaker 04

  Are they somewhat cool or no?

• 1:31:02Stavros Halkias?

  They're cool enough.

• 1:31:03Speaker 04

  Cool, that's what I mean. So it's not like when you're hanging out with your mom, she's complaining about your dad or vice versa, like that. It's just you guys.

• 1:31:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, it's still a little weird. There's still the remnants of it, but it's like, you know, everyone is, it's been a few years. Everyone is sort of like, we know the score now. Everything, everyone's fine and like.

• 1:31:19Speaker 04

  Sounds positive.

• 1:31:20Stavros Halkias?

  The thing, it's positive. The thing to remember is that your family will never be good. You know what I mean? Like, this is slightly better. It doesn't make it, it doesn't make it much, but it doesn't solve everything. Cause shit's probably dysfunctional to begin with, but I would just say, understand it's not about you. Don't get sucked into any more drama. Cause they could, cause if you've got a drama queen. They start pinning each other against each other.

• 1:31:42Speaker 04

  This is a get out of drama free card right now. Alright, you're doing this?

• 1:31:46Stavros Halkias?

  I don't want to hear about it. You're like, hey, I'm happy for you, but this has nothing to do with me.

• 1:31:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:49Stavros Halkias?

  And I would just, that's my only thing is like, don't get too sucked in. Cause I would argue, I maybe did get a little too sucked in for my tastes where I was like, you know, I got really in the middle of making sure everything could hap, whatever, you know? And part of that is that poor people just can't get divorced because it costs money. It's devastating. I, I sort of just like, I basically bankrolled my parents divorce. No shit. You know what I mean? Like.

• 1:32:12Speaker 04

  Good for you.

• 1:32:13Stavros Halkias?

  And so, and, and I would just say like, and I should have drawn like firmer boundaries around that where it's like, look, I'm gonna make this happen because this is the best thing, but I don't want to, I, I ended up being a little more in the middle than I would have liked in certain aspects. So I would say to you, don't get in the middle. Let them go through their thing. Make sure you're there. Be, be there for them in any capacity that makes sense for you, but ultimately, even though you're an adult, you're still the kid here, right? And it's still their fucking responsibility to figure this shit out.

• 1:32:45Stavros Halkias?

  So you think hiring-

• 1:32:46Speaker 03

  My parents got divorced when I was three.

• 1:32:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, so I'm like-

• 1:32:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cuz you have, you already have an ex- how were you?

• 1:32:50Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:32:51Stavros Halkias?

  How did it feel with your ex-stepmother? When that happened?

• 1:32:54Speaker 03

  Uh, that had happened at a time when I wasn't, I don't currently talk to my father. It's been a while, so that happened like around that time. I was older anyway.

• 1:33:03Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:33:03Speaker 03

  But, yeah, I mean, I come by, it's very messy. Like, my family doesn't talk. There's certain factions-

• 1:33:09Stavros Halkias?

  So many factions that don't talk to each other, yeah.

• 1:33:11Speaker 03

  That don't talk or passed away, and then once they're like, "Once they're dead, you're dead to me", that kinda thing. "The last time I'll see you's at the fucking funeral", a lot of that, and it's like, I've just stepped back from like all of it, and the fact that when I moved to New York, I've removed myself from like, the day-to-day of it. You know, and you're just like, that gave me perspective that you can have now of like, like, you're out of, I think if you're 27, your parents have raised you, and it's like, there's no, there's no other, there's no more responsibility or burden. It's like, you have to, like you said, just stay, stay away and go like, "I can watch from afar and come in when I'm needed",

• 1:33:45Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:33:45Speaker 03

  Tell for your mom to cry on your shoulder, or your whatever, whatever, but like, stay the fuck out of it. That's, you know, boundaries.

• 1:33:51Stavros Halkias?

  I fully agree. But yeah, you know, good luck out there.

• 1:33:56Speaker 03

  Knock 'em dead.

• 1:33:58Speaker 04

  Two Christmases.

• 1:33:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 1:33:59Speaker 04

  Two Thanksgiving dinners.

• 1:34:01Speaker 03

  Or two Hanukkahs.

• 1:34:02Speaker 04

  Or two Hanukkahs, sure.

• 1:34:04Stavros Halkias?

  Or a Hanukkah and a Christmas. Ever notice how every new AI tool asks you to explain your business to it all over again? Google Workspace with Gemini skips that. You get Google's AI built right into the premium versions of Gmail, Docs, Sheets, and more. No new tools, no extra logins, just one subscription that gives you personalized AI right inside your actual workflow. Make work less work. Try Google Workspace with Gemini at G O O dot G L E slash Workspace with Gemini.

• 1:34:36Speaker 06

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life by the claw, White Claw.

• 1:35:03Speaker 04

  Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:35:06Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, David, this is Dave. JD here. Uh, just had a quick question for you. I need some advice on a situation in my current relationship. Been with a girl three years. Love her to death. Uh, we worked at the same place. Worked at a grocery store together with her. I worked there seven years. Um, thing that's eating away at me that I keep keeping from her, um, before her, I ended up having sex with three different girls in the same department before her, um, and everyone at my grocery store would call me the deadly kicker. Cause I worked in the deadly department and she knows about two of them, but the third one that she doesn't. Everyone else in my friend group, everyone from that job knows but her and I feel bad not telling her. But the main reason I don't want her to ever find out is she was seventeen years older than me. Um, she was a raging alcoholic and she was into-

• 1:35:51Stavros Halkias?

  What a save.

• 1:35:52Speaker 03

  Whoa, I was like-

• 1:35:53Stavros Halkias?

  What a save on that clause.

• 1:35:54Speaker 03

  I was gonna go dump it, dump it.

• 1:35:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was seventeen.

• 1:35:57Speaker 03

  Years older than me.

• 1:35:58Stavros Halkias?

  Years older than me. He gave us the dramatic pause too.

• 1:36:00Speaker 03

  Who?

• 1:36:01Stavros Halkias?

  I was gonna be like, Elvis, fucking delete this, man. I don't wanna be fucking accessory to this shit. Anyway, keep going. She was a raging alcoholic and she was into DDL, um, daddy daughter love, if you wanna look that up. But she ended up getting me drunk at a work party, um, drugging me where high doses edible, she told me that were low. Taking me back to her house and then hooking up with her for the first couple nights, but, uh- Oh, the first couple nights.

• 1:36:25Stavros Halkias?

  Two, two times, that's it, but, um- Two to three times. I'm sure they're getting, she got me drunk, she got me drunk for weeks at a time. Come on, man. After that, I got grossed out and ashamed, never called her back, and then I started dating the girl I've been with for three years after. So, just having a problem not telling her, it's not like she needs to know, but since everyone I know knows. Even my best friend who works at the hospital dealt with her having a, uh, alcohol overdose. Um, he found out two nights after I hooked up with her and I just found that out last week. He told me, he just never told me that. He ended up meeting her. Um, anyway, just some advice, uh, I know a piece of shit. I just don't know, would you tell someone this? Would you ever bring it up? Would you continue to hide it? Just let me know. Thanks.

• 1:37:07Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. So basically, he's saying there's a secret. I have a secret here. Do I let it lie? Do I come clean? It's been three years that he's been in this relationship? Yeah. I guess the question is like, why? What do you have to gain? What's the? In what context would you bring it up? Like, would you just say, hey, I just want you to know I fucked this lady?

• 1:37:31Speaker 04

  I fucked Marge.

• 1:37:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:34Speaker 03

  I will, as, as somebody who's worked many years in a supermarket, those deli guys are bad news. Bad fucking news. You know it. I know it. All your fucking co- The deli guys play by their own rules.

• 1:37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm. Is this really a, uh?

• 1:37:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:52Stavros Halkias?

  This is a true stereotype?

• 1:37:53Speaker 03

  Oh, a hundred percent.

• 1:37:54Stavros Halkias?

  Did you do any hooking up at the grocery store?

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  No, I was quite young.

• 1:37:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 1:37:58Speaker 03

  There was, uh, but no, I mean, I was still in like, we were like fifteen, sixteen, seventeen.

• 1:38:03Stavros Halkias?

  What were the, yeah?

• 1:38:03Speaker 03

  But they're all older. They're all like-

• 1:38:05Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:38:06Speaker 03

  Mostly drug, you know, there's a lot of drug use either prior-

• 1:38:10Stavros Halkias?

  Or during.

• 1:38:10Speaker 03

  Or during or whatever. And also like criminal and like, it is the, it is a good kind of landing pad for someone coming out of a bumpy's place. Cause it's like, you know, probably like fifteen, you know, it's like a decent paycheck-

• 1:38:24Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:38:24Speaker 03

  That you can like, kinda get back on your feet.

• 1:38:26Stavros Halkias?

  Foley's got a couple of applications out right now.

• 1:38:29Speaker 03

  I'm waiting to hear back from Wegmans.

• 1:38:32Speaker 04

  I heard old pussy drugs and lunch meat.

• 1:38:37Speaker 04

  That's what I heard.

• 1:38:39Speaker 03

  Slipping out of his seat over there.

• 1:38:41Speaker 04

  I was, for a second, I forgot you guys were all here.

• 1:38:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:38:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:48Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:38:49Speaker 03

  But it is. It's very, it's, um, so I get it.

• 1:38:52Stavros Halkias?

  Did you ever work at any incestuous workplaces like that at all? Not really?

• 1:38:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:38:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, me neither, really. Foley, what about you? Do you have any?

• 1:39:00Speaker 04

  Me, like, where everybody was-

• 1:39:01Speaker 03

  I guess restaurants and bars are more-

• 1:39:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, restaurants and bars, everyone's, yeah.

• 1:39:04Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone's sucking, fucking-

• 1:39:05Speaker 04

  You get a good group, fucking, everyone's, everyone's at the right point in their lives, everyone's partying and, yeah, it's all right.

• 1:39:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:12Speaker 04

  For a few months, it's all right.

• 1:39:14Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:39:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39:15Stavros Halkias?

  So I guess like, my thing is, here's where I would be if I were you.

• 1:39:20Speaker 04

  Me?

• 1:39:21Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 1:39:22Speaker 03

  I'd be at that goddamn deli counter taking a ticket. I'll tell you that much.

• 1:39:25Stavros Halkias?

  I'd be getting versed in different types of stramis.

• 1:39:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:29Stavros Halkias?

  Um, no, if I, if I was this guy. She knows about the other two, ostensibly it came up organically. If this ever comes up, you don't lie, right?

• 1:39:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, just go, "Oh, it was one day, it was so long ago."

• 1:39:41Stavros Halkias?

  But it feels like the kind of thing where bringing it up out of the blue is kind of weird.

• 1:39:46Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Like, um, I get the fact that everybody around him knows, but it's not like they're snickering behind her back, because you fucked somebody else.

• 1:39:55Speaker 03

  No one's talking about it or thinking about it.

• 1:39:56Stavros Halkias?

  No, no one except you is thinking about it. And it's, you didn't betray her. It's not like you cheated on her early in your relationship. It's that before you met with her, you hooked up with someone that's kind of embarrassing to you.

• 1:40:08Speaker 04

  Very. I think that's what it is, from the way he was trying to throw that old lady under the bus.

• 1:40:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:40:13Speaker 03

  Then use that as a excuse, go, "I was gonna tell you, but I'm just like, I was pretty shameful about it. It was a bad time in my life, you know, whatever, whatever."

• 1:40:20Speaker 04

  However, I'm just playing devil's advocate here. If that does come up in the break room, like, "Oh, that's the time fucking Tony fucked fucking whatever his name is."

• 1:40:28Speaker 03

  Marge, Marge.

• 1:40:28Speaker 04

  Yes. And she hit, "What? That's gonna, she's not gonna like that."

• 1:40:33Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think that comes up. That's weird.

• 1:40:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, something that long ago-

• 1:40:37Stavros Halkias?

  Also, are you still working at the fucking grocery store?

• 1:40:39Speaker 03

  It's a launchpad.

• 1:40:40Stavros Halkias?

  Let's talk about, let's talk about different things here, different issues. You've been with this girl for three years. You were there before, you were there long enough to fuck three women in her department.

• 1:40:50Speaker 03

  She's been there for at least seven years.

• 1:40:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you've been there for a while, brother. What are we doing?

• 1:40:55Speaker 03

  That's a good gig.

• 1:40:56Stavros Halkias?

  Could be a good gig. Is it?

• 1:40:57Speaker 03

  I mean, you know, it's, it's, it's a solid paycheck. A lot of those, I don't know where in the country it is, but like ours was unionized.

• 1:41:04Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:41:04Speaker 03

  Deli workers and like the meat workers or whatever. Plus, my boy, my boy got bumped up to the meat room, and he would get there every day and turn the crock pot on, throw a bunch of fucking meats in there, let it cook for like four, five, six hours, and at the end of the night he had to fuck, I mean, everybody was eating.

• 1:41:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:41:19Speaker 03

  It's a good time.

• 1:41:20Stavros Halkias?

  And look, if there, if there is a way for you to get, whatever.

• 1:41:23Speaker 04

  Access to the crock pot.

• 1:41:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I didn't, I didn't realize there was some crock-

• 1:41:26Speaker 03

  Good bennies.

• 1:41:27Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't realize there was crock pot access here. I take back what I said.

• 1:41:31Speaker 03

  I brought it from home. I'm gonna say it right now from home.

• 1:41:33Stavros Halkias?

  For a crock pot. Um, yeah, dude, I mean, I don't think that's the kind of thing where, it's just funny that she knows about the two you're not ashamed of, but you hid the one you were ashamed of. Cause you didn't technically do anything wrong, you know, you just kind of-

• 1:41:48Speaker 03

  You're embarrassed by it.

• 1:41:49Stavros Halkias?

  You're just embarrassed by your behavior. So, I would say it-

• 1:41:54Stavros Halkias?

  You know, if it ever comes up, you don't deny it. And if she's like, why didn't you tell me? You're like, well, why would I? I mean, like, it just never came up. I never denied it, but it doesn't, doesn't really matter who I fucked before.

• 1:42:05Speaker 04

  You talking about all the old guys you fucked?

• 1:42:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you, you fucking whore? How much cock were you sucking before you met me?

• 1:42:12Speaker 03

  When you were working in produce. Don't think I don't know about that.

• 1:42:16Speaker 04

  That's what I'm talking about. That's what they call flipping the script. Put her on trial for things I done.

• 1:42:23Speaker 03

  Tell her you're gonna kill yourself.

• 1:42:27Stavros Halkias?

  I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me. And then threaten to fucking overdose on pills.

• 1:42:33Speaker 03

  Classic.

• 1:42:35Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 1:42:36Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, man, those are your two options.

• 1:42:38Speaker 03

  That's what I would do.

• 1:42:41Speaker 04

  But get that crock pot going ASAP.

• 1:42:42Stavros Halkias?

  Get a crock pot going. Hopefully you're a manager of the deli section. And listen, if you haven't had a raise in years, maybe think about, you know, sprucing up the fucking resume, putting some extracurriculars together, interning somewhere. I don't know what, but you know.

• 1:42:57Speaker 04

  So here's the bottom special skills. You're good at closing with older broads.

• 1:43:02Stavros Halkias?

  I could see there being some upward mobility though, you know, maybe even managing a grocery store someday.

• 1:43:07Speaker 03

  Those are pretty good jobs. Those are tough jobs to get.

• 1:43:09Speaker 04

  You know what you do? You want the Machiavellian, whatever that is?

• 1:43:13Stavros Halkias?

  Machiavellian?

• 1:43:14Speaker 04

  Yep. You want the Machiavellian approach? You become general manager. Get rid of everybody that knows anything.

• 1:43:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:43:22Speaker 04

  And you're in the clear.

• 1:43:23Stavros Halkias?

  Smart, smart, smart. Beautiful, beautiful.

• 1:43:26Speaker 04

  Or if you want to keep tapping the old lady, bring her up to assistant general manager.

• 1:43:29Speaker 03

  Star working lady. Nights, weekends.

• 1:43:34Stavros Halkias?

  What else we got, LD?

• 1:43:39Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:43:41Stavros Halkias?

  Take your time, man. No worries.

• 1:43:44Speaker 03

  Hi. Long time listener, first time caller.

• 1:43:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'm having a bit of a dog dilemma. Hmm. You see, back at home, I'm in college, so I, different, you know, you get it, okay. So back at home, I have this super cute little fluffy black and white dog. And my mom takes her on walks in the morning and at night. We just recently got these new neighbors.

• 1:44:15Stavros Halkias?

  The guy happens to be a cop. Hmm. Um, on two occasions, these people's dogs have gotten out. And I guess you could say, like, attacked my mom and my dog. Hmm. They never really got their teeth on her, anything like that. This is unfortunately something that has happened before, so there, my mom kinda has a drill. She'll like pick up my dog and like, you know, yell at this dog. Because on the same road, they have been attacked by a different neighbor's dog who got let out and did manage to get their teeth on my dog. Oh.

• 1:44:54Stavros Halkias?

  She's fine now, but a traumatizing event. And this happened now with these same people twice. And we don't know what to do. We, you know, we thought of calling animal control, but we just don't wanna start beef with like this cop neighbor of ours. But, I mean, at this point, his dogs have ran up on my dogs twice. And every time, like, this lady comes out and is like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, like, I thought they were on a leash. And it's like, you dumb bitch, like,

• 1:45:26Stavros Halkias?

  you know your dog's on a leash because you put them on the leash. What do you mean you don't know? So, we just don't know what to do. We tried, like, talking to them and stuff, but like, after the first time, and then it happened the second time, so clearly nothing got through to them. So, yeah, just let us know.

• 1:45:45Stavros Halkias?

  Huh, this is interesting. I mean, the cop thing is irrelevant. You think it's irrelevant?

• 1:45:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, fuck that guy. You think he's the only guy in town with a fucking gun? What are we doing here? Fuck out of here.

• 1:45:56Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm. I like that.

• 1:45:59Speaker 04

  Over here.

• 1:46:00Stavros Halkias?

  I like that. I like where your head's at.

• 1:46:02Speaker 04

  Old guy with a fucked up face and two dumb dogs.

• 1:46:05Speaker 03

  Uh, as a guy with a crazy dog, um.

• 1:46:08Stavros Halkias?

  You do have a crazy.

• 1:46:08Speaker 03

  I got a crazy dog.

• 1:46:10Speaker 04

  Grr.

• 1:46:10Speaker 03

  Um, they know, they're well aware. If you have a dog that is like doing that multiple times, you know how your dog react. It's just like, that's not the only two times it's ever happened. They act like that. And I think the guy, this guy being a cop is a positive. It's like, he's aware of what will happen if they bite your mom or that dog.

• 1:46:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:46:33Speaker 03

  If they kill that, like those dogs will get put down, essentially, if they bite your fucking.

• 1:46:39Speaker 04

  What you don't want.

• 1:46:40Speaker 03

  What you don't want, so I think you just go to the cop, go like, guys, we have to figure out how to, otherwise, my mom's gonna get bit, my dog's gonna get killed, your dogs are gonna get put down, like.

• 1:46:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:48Speaker 03

  Nobody wins in this.

• 1:46:49Speaker 04

  I think unfortunately, it has to happen one more time, you missed your window.

• 1:46:52Stavros Halkias?

  I kind of agree with you.

• 1:46:54Speaker 03

  Ah, I don't at all. I just fuck, I'd go knock on the door and just say, hey, how do we, not like a combatively, but like, how, how do we solve this?

• 1:47:00Stavros Halkias?

  But it, out of the blue, if it hasn't been a problem again?

• 1:47:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:47:04Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't have to be a full.

• 1:47:05Speaker 04

  You look like a psycho.

• 1:47:06Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't have to be a full on attack.

• 1:47:07Speaker 04

  Unless she comes home from school on Thanksgiving, hey, listen, while I was away, I know this happened a couple of times, listen, my dog's already been attacked.

• 1:47:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:47:15Speaker 04

  By, by another thing, my mom's, my, my mom's, you know, older, you know, whatever.

• 1:47:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:20Speaker 04

  You know what I mean?

• 1:47:21Stavros Halkias?

  Um, she doesn't wanna stir the shit, but me, I'm an Antifa, I'm a, I'm, I'm in college, I'm getting my brain poisoned, poisoned by liberals.

• 1:47:28Speaker 03

  Die your hair.

• 1:47:28Stavros Halkias?

  And I know the cops are the problem.

• 1:47:30Speaker 04

  Name and badge number, start hitting them with that.

• 1:47:33Speaker 03

  Just so you know, I am recording.

• 1:47:34Stavros Halkias?

  I am recording you, I am recording you, it is my first amendment right to record you. Yeah, go at him like that, he'll love that.

• 1:47:41Speaker 04

  Get your ass beat by a cop.

• 1:47:44Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but I, but I like that though, but I, I see what Foley's saying where it's like. It, look, it is weird to, you've had this conversation, it's happened twice.

• 1:47:55Stavros Halkias?

  And you've talked to them, you know, both times. You kinda, it doesn't have to be a full on attack, but if there's even like, if you even see them on without a leash, or whatever, you just have to be like, hey, this has happened too many times.

• 1:48:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, or like I said, she could, she could step in here, she's home, I haven't been home, I haven't seen it.

• 1:48:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:48:12Speaker 04

  And she also said, the lady was like, you know, when they're really bad people, they don't even fucking say, well, it's your dog's fault. At least the lady came, I'm so sorry, I thought they were on a leash, whatever. You know, you get in that situation, you start, you start backpedaling.

• 1:48:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's why I'm saying, and because of her, like, behavior is why I'm saying like, okay, wait for a very small infraction, be like, hey.

• 1:48:32Speaker 03

  If they're barking when you get out of the car or whatever.

• 1:48:34Stavros Halkias?

  You guys have been reasonable, I get that, but I'm sorry, if, if another attack happens, I have to call animal control. So please, please, we don't want that to happen, please. And it sucks to tell you like, okay, hopefully, the next one could be horrible, but it's like, hopefully something minor happens, or like Foley says, you coming back, that is kind of a chance to be like, hey, my mom telling me what's going on, I just wanna like, check in here because she's, you know.

• 1:49:00Speaker 03

  She's nervous, she's getting older, whatever, whatever, she's not like, she, you know.

• 1:49:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:04Speaker 03

  She's not gonna be able to maybe save it every time.

• 1:49:06Speaker 04

  Or if it happens again, you said you're in college, you go home, you seduce the cop.

• 1:49:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:49:11Speaker 04

  Get that on tape.

• 1:49:12Stavros Halkias?

  Get it on tape.

• 1:49:12Speaker 03

  Cream pie them.

• 1:49:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:14Speaker 04

  No, but I'm saying, maybe when you come home, you can go over, hey, listen, I brought over, I don't know, some fucking dog treats for the dogs, I just wanted to ask you again, really nice.

• 1:49:22Stavros Halkias?

  Put poison in the dog treats?

• 1:49:25Speaker 04

  Pull a Putin on him?

• 1:49:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:28Speaker 04

  Where'd you get plutonium at college? Yeah, you know, you bring, you bring a little basket over, so, listen, I didn't want to send him a deck and, you know.

• 1:49:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 1:49:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, something, I don't know.

• 1:49:38Stavros Halkias?

  And, and, but I see what you guys are saying, that the cop, I'm with her in terms of like, I would, could just, you know, just what I know of the cops in my life, the cops I've been around.

• 1:49:47Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:49:47Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, let's just say, I could see them not taking kindly to being reported, and then making your life fucking miserable. But I say, if you've gone, if you, that's why it sucks, you have to tread a little. Lighter here, but I always think you guys make a good point where it's like he understands what's

• 1:50:02Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:50:03Speaker 03

  They're also dog. So it's like, listen, if your dog bites my, kills my dog or bites my mom, like we all lose our dogs here.

• 1:50:10Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 1:50:11Speaker 03

  This is, it's not like one person wins, like this gets fucked up for everybody.

• 1:50:15Speaker 04

  You're new, you're new, you're new here, since you say they just moved in, right?

• 1:50:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:21Speaker 04

  You know, you know.

• 1:50:22Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 1:50:23Speaker 04

  Small town, small town, you know what I mean?

• 1:50:27Stavros Halkias?

  We don't do things like that around here.

• 1:50:29Speaker 04

  Differentally out here, okay?

• 1:50:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 1:50:31Speaker 04

  I don't know what you're used to in the big city.

• 1:50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:50:33Speaker 03

  Getting real Tulsa King.

• 1:50:37Speaker 04

  Hey, Logan.

• 1:50:41Stavros Halkias?

  You got something fun for us to go out on here, Eldis? Yeah, here's a little health tip. Oh, wonderful. All right, Jesus Christ, now I'm using this hotline as if it's your real fucking voicemail. What's up, Stav? Hi, Eldis, I'm watching episode one of season three, Stavvy Gets Ripped. Ripped. As a fellow zep bound baddie, as a fellow fat ass, I'm with you, Stav. I'm, we're losing weight together on the juice, all right? I am a nutrition major and I work with several doctors. You are injecting too far away from your belly button, Stav. I did notice that. You got to inject closer to your belly button. There's a whole thing about the injection site and how potent, how the potency affects you. Get the fuck out of here.

• 1:51:25Stavros Halkias?

  Closer or farther away on your stomach. You got to inject closer, buddy. Holy shit. Needs to seep into those intestines. I love you, I'm there with you. This is insane, this is actually helpful. You are having a great day. Bye, guys, I love you.

• 1:51:39Speaker 04

  Wow, that's so crazy, because they've told me the same thing. And with the, with the Ozempic, it was, you went one here, one here.

• 1:51:48Speaker 03

  Is it Narcan?

• 1:51:51Speaker 04

  No, through like one week here, one week here. I think maybe one week here, one week here. I think I'm doing one potato, two potato.

• 1:51:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:58Speaker 04

  But with the, yeah, but the zep down is three inches from your belly button.

• 1:52:01Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck?

• 1:52:02Speaker 03

  I saw you fucking sidesaddle.

• 1:52:03Stavros Halkias?

  Where were you? Yeah, I'm on the side. I'm around here.

• 1:52:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:52:07Stavros Halkias?

  Just right around here.

• 1:52:08Speaker 03

  I mean, I don't know.

• 1:52:08Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 1:52:09Speaker 03

  Listen, I don't know. They told me two inches. So when I saw you sidesaddle it, I'm like, oh, maybe I'm doing it wrong. Maybe, maybe I'm like, not I got bad, but maybe I'm like, oh, maybe I literally saw it. Went, maybe the location doesn't matter.

• 1:52:21Speaker 04

  I don't get, unless it goes into a vein, I don't understand how it works anyway.

• 1:52:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we're too stupid to get that.

• 1:52:29Speaker 04

  It goes into the fat and then where does it go from there?

• 1:52:31Stavros Halkias?

  Who knows, man? We're never gonna figure that out.

• 1:52:33Speaker 04

  Right?

• 1:52:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:35Speaker 04

  I know where the hamburger goes.

• 1:52:36Speaker 03

  There's three guys eating ourselves to death. So like, maybe we're not the guys to crack it.

• 1:52:39Speaker 04

  I know the cheeseburger goes here.

• 1:52:42Speaker 04

  Goes through here and then comes out my poopy hole.

• 1:52:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's actually, I was so ready to be like, Eldis, fuck you. Some guy telling me to, hey, man, calories in, calories. I love that note where it's like, you don't think I know that.

• 1:52:56Speaker 04

  I don't have willpower.

• 1:52:58Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking assholes. You think you're, and part of the reason we even did this series is because everyone, there's, if there's one thing people love commenting on, it's someone trying to lose weight.

• 1:53:07Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:53:07Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's either they're, they're, they want to support you, they, or they want to call you a fat piece of shit. Or they want to tell you that you did it wrong, or they want to brag about their own weight loss.

• 1:53:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:53:16Stavros Halkias?

  It really captures.

• 1:53:17Speaker 03

  For those comments.

• 1:53:18Speaker 04

  It's easy, dude. Just walk uphill on a treadmill for a half an hour. Chicken and rice, ground beef, no shit.

• 1:53:25Stavros Halkias?

  Stop eating. It's like, I am an addict.

• 1:53:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:53:28Stavros Halkias?

  This is the, you don't think, look at the rest of my life. I work hard to do a lot of, I've done a lot of shit that's hard. You think if I couldn't, if I could just not eat, I wouldn't? I just have a hilarious, and I know you don't get it because you eat every day and it doesn't affect you. But I don't fucking drink. I don't fucking hit my wife.

• 1:53:46Speaker 03

  I do all those things.

• 1:53:49Speaker 03

  Somebody give me a pill for that.

• 1:53:50Speaker 04

  Stobby, do you not drink at all?

• 1:53:52Stavros Halkias?

  I kind of stopped drinking for health reasons.

• 1:53:54Speaker 04

  No shit?

• 1:53:55Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I'm trying to, I'm trying to just like, I was sober for a year and then I kind of was, you know, I would drink a little bit. I would smoke a little bit.

• 1:54:01Speaker 04

  You're smoking a little bit still?

• 1:54:03Stavros Halkias?

  I gotta get, I gotta cut that too. That's kind of fucked me up.

• 1:54:05Speaker 04

  Any shrooms or anything like that?

• 1:54:07Stavros Halkias?

  I will do shrooms on a special occasion. I haven't in a while.

• 1:54:10Speaker 04

  But never microdose. You mean if you're doing them, you're getting fucked.

• 1:54:13Stavros Halkias?

  I would get fucked up, but I would do that when I'm like, you know, I've made a plan. It's like vacation. I'm not stressed out.

• 1:54:20Speaker 04

  I got you.

• 1:54:21Stavros Halkias?

  And even a cocktail, I honestly have realized weed is so much more my problem than drinking.

• 1:54:25Speaker 04

  No shit.

• 1:54:26Stavros Halkias?

  If, like when I was in Venice, I'm gonna have a couple of cocktails.

• 1:54:29Speaker 03

  A couple of cocktails.

• 1:54:30Stavros Halkias?

  I go to, I go to like, if it's a beautiful day, I'm with my friends, we're on a rooftop, I'll have a fucking cocktail.

• 1:54:36Speaker 03

  After all spritz or something like that?

• 1:54:37Stavros Halkias?

  If I'm fucking, uh, barbecuing, I'll have a brewski, but it's like, it's not.

• 1:54:43Speaker 03

  It's more of a vibe thing. You're not drinking to get fucked up.

• 1:54:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, I have stopped drinking to get fucked up.

• 1:54:47Speaker 03

  I have not done.

• 1:54:48Speaker 04

  See, that's the way I can't drink. I can't go to a barbecue.

• 1:54:52Speaker 03

  I'm not a vibe guy.

• 1:54:53Speaker 04

  I can go to a fucking dark bar in LA and be like, we're gonna be here for eight hours and we're gonna get fucking obliterated.

• 1:54:58Stavros Halkias?

  That sounds fun as shit. And don't get me wrong, I will probably have one of those every year, time to treat myself.

• 1:55:05Speaker 03

  That's also a vibe thing, yeah. It's like I go golfing once a year.

• 1:55:07Speaker 04

  But if I go to, if I go to a barbecue, if I go to a barbecue and I have like one or two beers, I like, I like feel weird, like I want more.

• 1:55:15Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean. Honestly, at barbecues, I've actually started going N A beer.

• 1:55:19Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 1:55:20Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's so much about the vibe of just holding a beer in your hand.

• 1:55:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:55:23Stavros Halkias?

  You know, and having a dog or whatever, that I, I used to just have a beer or two, but then I did, even that kinda gets you feeling like, I should have 12 of these.

• 1:55:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like you get to that point, it's like we're, we're off the shore. Let's fucking go.

• 1:55:36Stavros Halkias?

  But I just.

• 1:55:36Speaker 04

  Lower the sails and hit the gas.

• 1:55:38Stavros Halkias?

  It just does suck though, because a lot of the comments will be like, cut out sodas, cut out drinking. And I'm like, I have done all of those things.

• 1:55:45Speaker 03

  Wait, what?

• 1:55:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And the, the worst part is like, I have cut out a lot of, like shit that's supposed to, people are like, I stopped, I switched to diet sodas and I dropped 40 pounds. Like I did that 10 years ago.

• 1:55:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is me doing a lot of things pretty well.

• 1:56:00Stavros Halkias?

  Doing a lot of stuff, except when I'm, you know, every once in a while, I will hit the kitchen and just throw 3,000 calories down my gullet.

• 1:56:09Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:56:10Stavros Halkias?

  Like it's nothing.

• 1:56:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:56:11Stavros Halkias?

  And I love it and nothing makes me feel better.

• 1:56:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 1:56:14Stavros Halkias?

  It's so fucked up. I love it so much.

• 1:56:16Speaker 03

  I did it yesterday.

• 1:56:17Speaker 04

  I was telling somebody about this, like, uh, you know, a few weeks ago, I was at, I was home at my mom's house and, you know, she's up to bed at like fucking 8:30. It's just me in the refrigerator.

• 1:56:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and you, you won't go to bed till 9, 9:15.

• 1:56:31Speaker 04

  A little night owl. So I got forty five minutes to kill. But it's like, I go in, I pull out, I pull out a sleeve of Thomas's English muffins.

• 1:56:40Stavros Halkias?

  A sleeve of.

• 1:56:41Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? I take the English muffins out.

• 1:56:43Stavros Halkias?

  Look at him.

• 1:56:44Speaker 04

  You got the butter on the counter, it's right next to the fucking toaster.

• 1:56:47Stavros Halkias?

  It would be no.

• 1:56:48Speaker 04

  I can't just have one of those.

• 1:56:49Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:56:50Speaker 04

  I eat like five.

• 1:56:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:52Speaker 04

  Just, I got one going, butter one. And the first one, I'll do it light, so I can get it in me. Let the other one, you know, I'll let that.

• 1:57:00Stavros Halkias?

  Prime the pump.

• 1:57:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:57:02Stavros Halkias?

  First one, just to get it started.

• 1:57:03Speaker 04

  It's not, it's not, and like, I know, it's not like I'm eating that like, wait a minute, a fucking box of English muffins is bad for you?

• 1:57:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:57:11Speaker 04

  No shit!

• 1:57:12Stavros Halkias?

  You just can't stop.

• 1:57:13Speaker 04

  Can't stop, won't stop.

• 1:57:15Stavros Halkias?

  No. I'm with you, even the protein, the protein bars start getting that way too. At first it's like, oh, I have one in a gut, and a Dasani. And then it's like, you know.

• 1:57:24Speaker 04

  Those barbells, they're like stickers bars, they're delicious.

• 1:57:26Stavros Halkias?

  They are like fucking.

• 1:57:27Speaker 04

  You know what's really good? I, I don't know what the name of them is, this swoop or smooth or something, they're like marshmallow.

• 1:57:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the puff ones. Those are unbelievable, those are straight up candy.

• 1:57:37Speaker 04

  Candy?

• 1:57:37Stavros Halkias?

  And they, those barely have any fucking protein. They have like eleven grams of protein.

• 1:57:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:57:41Stavros Halkias?

  And they're like, it's a protein bar, so it gets a fucking candy bar. Yeah, yeah, but they are good.

• 1:57:46Speaker 04

  They're great.

• 1:57:47Stavros Halkias?

  But that's very good, that actually is good advice. I will, I am due for another shot in a couple of days and I will take your advice and I will see how it affects me.

• 1:57:55Speaker 05

  That just shows truly how shitty your doctor actually is. Like, didn't even like think to mention that to you.

• 1:58:00Stavros Halkias?

  I need a real doctor. I just got a nurse practitioner that would, that would prescribe me whatever I asked for.

• 1:58:04Speaker 03

  Dude, I went to this, I went to.

• 1:58:05Speaker 04

  Put it in your eyeball, what?

• 1:58:07Speaker 03

  I went to this woman in Midtown, I just typed in fat doctor, and dude, she was like, dude, you're like seventy five years old, came in wearing high heels, big fake tits.

• 1:58:14Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 1:58:14Speaker 03

  Face pulled back, she's like, what do you want? I'm like, now we're talking.

• 1:58:17Stavros Halkias?

  Now we're talking, baby.

• 1:58:18Speaker 03

  She's like, it's a combo, it's Ozempic and Zepbound, we fused them together.

• 1:58:22Speaker 04

  For the whole diet mountain, dude.

• 1:58:23Speaker 03

  Dude, I would do, I felt like my eyes were falling out of my head, it was brutal.

• 1:58:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I need a fucking real doctor, but yes, thank you, that actually is great advice and I can't wait to.

• 1:58:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's.

• 1:58:33Stavros Halkias?

  To see what happens now that I will be going closer to the belly button. Hopefully it affects me even better.

• 1:58:38Speaker 03

  Somebody else before that, don't.

• 1:58:39Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:58:40Speaker 04

  No, it's belly button, for sure.

• 1:58:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you guys are both Zepbound guys?

• 1:58:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's all about the belly button.

• 1:58:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and it's working great.

• 1:58:47Speaker 03

  Hey, I'm down, I'm down forty back.

• 1:58:50Stavros Halkias?

  You know, maybe I'll stick to how I'm doing it matters, second thought.

• 1:58:53Speaker 04

  Where's this mac and cheese at?

• 1:58:56Speaker 04

  I was promised a meal when I came over there. Take a nice joint like this, you're not putting out something? You complaining about the Venice Film Festival? I don't see a charcuterie board downstairs.

• 1:59:08Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, fuck, guys, thank you so much.

• 1:59:09Speaker 04

  We love you, buddy.

• 1:59:10Stavros Halkias?

  You're the best.

• 1:59:11Speaker 04

  Congratulations and everything.

• 1:59:12Stavros Halkias?

  You're the best. We're always happy to have you here. Uh, go see the boys at the Met, December 13th. We will get this out around that time. We don't know when exactly, but you know, it's fall, winter season here at Stobby's World. Um, go see the boys, come see us on the road. We probably, I think that same week, that's when we're in Boston, right, Eldis?

• 1:59:31Speaker 04

  Ah, there you go.

• 1:59:33Stavros Halkias?

  The 13th, December 13th?

• 1:59:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:59:35Stavros Halkias?

  We're at the Wilbur, so if you're in Boston, come see us. If you're in Philly, come see the boys. And, uh, we will talk to you next time. Bye-bye, guys.

• 1:59:41Speaker 04

  Bye-bye.