Giggling about con mums, toe nails, and new friends

Hannah might have made a new friend and Paige got another UTI. pre-order our book sign up for our newsletter

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling and it's one of the best feelings ever. From engraveable pieces to festive charms to lab-grown diamonds, Pandora's jewelry is made for the ones who really inspire you and the ones that you really know. Give them a piece that says exactly what words can't. Pandora, more than a gift. Shop new styles in-store or online at pandora.net. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only.

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  You know I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's. And for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery.

• 1:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Just to let you guys know, cold weather is back, but there's no need to dread this year thanks to Bombas. Their socks, slippers, and footwear help keep you warm all winter long. Plus, everything they make is great for gifting, making holiday shopping one less thing to stress about. I just ordered a bunch of new Bombas because my socks just like get up and walk away. So I'm constantly ordering socks. It's like one of my things. And for every item purchased, Bombas donates one to someone facing housing insecurity with over 200 million items donated and counting. I personally love their cozy socks because for me cozy sock season is all year round. I don't discriminate just in the winter. So head over to bombas.com/gigglysquad and use code GIGGLYSQUAD for 20% off your first purchase.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix the wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

• 2:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:24Hannah Berner?

  What's up, my gregarious gigglers? Have I said that one before?

• 2:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, but why did it pop into my head GarageBand? What's up, my GarageBand gigglers?

• 2:33Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember, like, kids who knew how to use GarageBand?

• 2:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I never knew how.

• 2:38Hannah Berner?

  I was like, they're gonna win a Tony.

• 2:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 2:40Hannah Berner?

  They're gonna win a Grammy.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm. They're theater kids.

• 2:42Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 2:43Paige DeSorbo?

  With cooler outfits. Sorry, no hate to the theater kids.

• 2:46Hannah Berner?

  No hate to the theater kids. We support.

• 2:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm always ragging on them.

• 2:49Hannah Berner?

  You are.

• 2:50Paige DeSorbo?

  I know.

• 2:51Hannah Berner?

  You are. You still haven't watched Wicked.

• 2:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm such a bully. Like, I'm literally such a high school bully on this pod. I'm like, get in the locker, you theater nerd.

• 3:00Hannah Berner?

  I performed at New Haven and I realized it's like where Yale is.

• 3:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Hannah Berner?

  So I got on stage and I'm like, what's up, you fucking nerds? And I was like, oh my god.

• 3:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you're gorgeous right now.

• 3:15Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can you guys mark that time code? This has never happened.

• 3:18Paige DeSorbo?

  With your blue eyeshadow.

• 3:21Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what's so funny? I went to the bathroom before the pod looked at myself and I said, "If Paige doesn't mention my blue eyeshadow, she doesn't care about me." And you brought it up within the first two minutes.

• 3:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it.

• 3:31Hannah Berner?

  It's like, I think it's-

• 3:33Paige DeSorbo?

  It's something with your hair color and the blue and your eye color, because your hair color is honestly your eye color. And so it's so cohesive.

• 3:41Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm obsessed?

• 3:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And you do your lips like the same color as your cheeks. You're just-

• 3:45Hannah Berner?

  Wait, it was a risk?

• 3:46Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I love it.

• 3:47Hannah Berner?

  What, you love?

• 3:47Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed.

• 3:48Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I think this blue, it's like a matte light blue. It's either Halsey's line? No, I think it's about, it might not be. I'll put it in the newsletter. I'll put it in the newsletter. Um, I hung out with a straight man accidentally.

• 4:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Where?

• 4:02Hannah Berner?

  Recently.

• 4:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Why?

• 4:04Hannah Berner?

  Work stuff.

• 4:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 4:07Hannah Berner?

  Chris, tell me if I'm right or wrong. They do this thing where like, when they try to connect with you, they keep showing you YouTube videos.

• 4:17Hannah Berner?

  And it made me feel like an outdoor cat who brings you a dead pigeon and you go and then you go, oh wait, that's their love language. Oh, they're trying to connect.

• 4:31Hannah Berner?

  Cause he showed me one video and you know, like you get the point after like and it like.

• 4:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God, that's so funny.

• 4:36Hannah Berner?

  I was out there for like two minutes watching it and like.

• 4:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you watched the full.

• 4:39Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. And then I was like, okay, that was a one off. He really is passionate about this video. And like 10 seconds later, he's like, oh, watch this. And I was like, oh, this is.

• 4:46Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a thing.

• 4:47Hannah Berner?

  This is a thing in the community. Chris, is this what you guys do?

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I call it YouTube waterboarding.

• 4:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait.

• 4:53Hannah Berner?

  YouTube waterboarding.

• 4:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Like men, um.

• 4:58Hannah Berner?

  That was the question. What are, what are men?

• 5:01Paige DeSorbo?

  What are men like, I was actually. I can't even.

• 5:06Hannah Berner?

  Do you guys waterboard each other?

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:08Hannah Berner?

  You guys, do you ever say, bro, I don't want to watch this?

• 5:12Speaker 03

  That's why I started calling it waterboarding because.

• 5:14Hannah Berner?

  Cause all men do is hang out and go, bro, watch this.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  That'll be.

• 5:17Hannah Berner?

  There's something also about when I'm watching, someone's watching me watch a video. I can't enjoy the video.

• 5:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Me neither.

• 5:22Hannah Berner?

  There's too much.

• 5:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you know when the whole like men talk about, like think about World War II or like talk about it, whatever? I was with a man recently and I don't know how it came up in conversation. It was like something on TV. And I was like, is that true? Like, do you guys really like talk about World War II all the time? And he was like, no, we talk about gladiators.

• 5:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And I was like, got it, got it, got it.

• 5:45Hannah Berner?

  Do you know Dez studied history?

• 5:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 5:48Hannah Berner?

  And now I'm realizing it's because he just wanted to learn about gladiators.

• 5:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:50Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 5:51Paige DeSorbo?

  They love it. They talk about how football players are the modern day gladiators. That's what I was told. And I was like, I see how you got there. No, I definitely see how you got there.

• 6:01Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing men love. They do love knowing about wars, but they don't like to learn from history.

• 6:10Hannah Berner?

  Or learn about women's bodies. Like they'll remember every like nineteen twelve war, but they can't remember where your clit is. Like there's just like a cognitive dissonance that I've been trying to nail down.

• 6:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Talking about war, I'd like to be like, and why do you think that happened?

• 6:25Paige DeSorbo?

  They didn't have a good relationship with their mothers is why. I had the most page coded weekend I think I've ever like if I look back on my Friday and Saturday, I'm like this who I am.

• 6:36Hannah Berner?

  You feel aligned in your destiny.

• 6:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Friday, I had to go to Albany because we have this like it's called Ford Orange Club and it's like a like a social club. It's not like a country club. It's like a social club, whatever that means.

• 6:48Hannah Berner?

  Sounds important.

• 6:49Paige DeSorbo?

  It sounds important. Like every month they have like a guest speaker or whatever.

• 6:53Hannah Berner?

  Ford Orange does sound like a strain of weed.

• 6:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, Ford Orange. It's like.

• 6:57Hannah Berner?

  You got that good Ford Orange, right?

• 7:01Hannah Berner?

  Look at me pretending I smoke weed. Yeah, that Ford Orange last night was crazy, bro.

• 7:08Hannah Berner?

  I smoked it.

• 7:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I like, I need a YouTube series where you just get high. Like, and we count the minutes.

• 7:18Hannah Berner?

  It'll be just me staring at my fingernails for two hours. But who knows? Maybe that's our ASMR. So you go to Ford.

• 7:24Paige DeSorbo?

  So I go to Ford Orange and I have to give, like I have to be like the guest speaker, whatever. And we're driving there. My parents are coming with me because it's like a local, whatever. I have no idea what to expect. I asked zero questions. So page coded. I was just like, yep, I'll be there. And I have, I know what I'm wearing. So like, I don't need to know anything else, you know?

• 7:43Hannah Berner?

  And that's how she deals with Giggly Squad shows as well.

• 7:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Packed my outfit and I'm done. So I get there and my mom's like, what are you gonna say? And I'm like, Kim.

• 7:52Hannah Berner?

  Kim, that's, that's not my business.

• 7:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a not, and it's none of my business what I say up there. So I get up there like on the stage and I'm just like looking around the room and it's just like seven rows of like white men's pictures and like black and white photos, like frames. And I was just like, they would hate this right now.

• 8:13Hannah Berner?

  They're rolling in their graves with their dad bots.

• 8:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm literally up there being like, fuck the patriarchy. Do whatever you want.

• 8:22Hannah Berner?

  You start a feminist rant at this like old man rally?

• 8:28Hannah Berner?

  They're even too old for

• 8:28Paige DeSorbo?

  But it's all gigglers in the crowd. So we're just like, everyone's hyping each other up.

• 8:33Hannah Berner?

  Okay, okay.

• 8:35Paige DeSorbo?

  That's on Friday. That same day, don't you know, the FDA approves a new UTI drug. I'm getting it sent to me in my DMs. Like, everyone's like, oh, my God, Paige, you're gonna wanna see this.

• 8:46Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, people are sending it to me to send to you.

• 8:48Paige DeSorbo?

  It was like the first drug that they've approved in like thirty years. Okay? Later that evening, I get the worst UTI I've ever gotten in my entire life.

• 8:59Hannah Berner?

  But this happens to you every week?

• 9:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 9:01Hannah Berner?

  You tell me that every week.

• 9:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I really haven't gotten one. Okay, I've lied sometimes.

• 9:07Hannah Berner?

  Remember when you had to miss the podcast last week?

• 9:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, sorry.

• 9:11Hannah Berner?

  Sorry.

• 9:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I get the craziest raging UTI. I like have extra pills, whatever. I wake up Saturday morning. I tell a health it up. I'm like, hey, I get a new prescription. Saturday night, I go with my brother and his girlfriend to the Tom Segura stand-up show. Krista Stefano killed.

• 9:31Hannah Berner?

  Shout out Chrissy D.

• 9:33Paige DeSorbo?

  It was so much. I love, it was at MSG. It was just so fun. I was home. I was in bed by ten. I was asleep by eleven.

• 9:40Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 9:42Paige DeSorbo?

  It was just gorgeous.

• 9:43Hannah Berner?

  I have a question.

• 9:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  Um, does being single correlate with less UTIs?

• 9:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, well, you'd think. You frickin' think. Cause I'm Friday night. Like, obviously, I'm still, I'm thirty-two years old, but like, I was home. So like when I step into Albany and I step onto my parents' street, I'm sixteen.

• 10:04Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent.

• 10:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sixteen. I have to ask to leave the house. Like, I could never just leave my house. Like, that would be

• 10:12Hannah Berner?

  Get permission.

• 10:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Insane.

• 10:13Hannah Berner?

  Ask when they want you home.

• 10:15Paige DeSorbo?

  So it's like Friday night.

• 10:17Hannah Berner?

  Sneak in a weed pen.

• 10:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Ten o'clock and I'm like, burns a little. And my mom can hear me. And here's the other thing. I'm in the bathroom in my room for like a while.

• 10:25Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 10:26Paige DeSorbo?

  But my bathroom is above her bedroom. So she knows when I'm in the bathroom.

• 10:31Hannah Berner?

  She knows when you have a tummy ache.

• 10:32Paige DeSorbo?

  So if I'm in there too long, she's like, what's she doing in there?

• 10:35Hannah Berner?

  Wait, that is so. Funny, you guys have um, an unhealthy relationship.

• 10:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Very.

• 10:41Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 10:41Paige DeSorbo?

  So she comes up, she, I hear, coming up the stairs, what's going on, are you okay? And like, I immediately turned sixteen, I'm like, I think I, I actually might have a UTI, but I promise, I actually didn't even have sex. And she just looks at me and she goes, okay. She was like, well, you don't always have to have sex to get a UTI, you whore. I was like, yeah.

• 11:06Hannah Berner?

  I just was giving blowjobs, I wasn't letting him go in, I just.

• 11:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Racking my brain because I'm like, how did I get one without having sex?

• 11:14Hannah Berner?

  You sat on an MSG chair with like, mostly men in that stadium.

• 11:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know, and then I was like, well, did I use a new soap, like, have I, and I was like, you know, and I think my immune system's just down, like, I'm coming up with like, all these things. But, anyway.

• 11:28Hannah Berner?

  You were, you actually weren't late, but you messaged me that you might be late, because Kitty was making biscuits on your face. And I realized, if you have a cat, and your cat's making biscuits on your face, Google making biscuits, if you don't know, I honestly don't have the time to explain it. It's dermaplaning.

• 11:47Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 11:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, yeah, depuff me.

• 11:50Hannah Berner?

  Um, I like to let the gigglers know, like, where we are in our cycles. I got my period, it woke me up yesterday morning, like violently.

• 11:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I'm actually so glad you brought this up, because obviously I'm updating the gigglers on my egg freezing process. Did I tell them how they want me to go on birth control?

• 12:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 12:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I did?

• 12:09Hannah Berner?

  I think so.

• 12:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, they want me to go on birth control for like, a week, and I was just like, ah, I don't want to. So I have to wait till May, to see if I get my period naturally, and if I don't get it naturally, then I am gonna just do it for the week.

• 12:22Hannah Berner?

  Do you think if you just like, hang out with me enough days in a row, like, my alpha energy of my period might like, synchronize?

• 12:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually think I am supposed to have my period right now, because my boobs are a little bit big. That's, wait, also, wait, also, Chris, look away. I'm wearing the Skims nipple bra, because I just wanted to see what it looked like.

• 12:45Hannah Berner?

  Is, was, is that still available?

• 12:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 12:49Hannah Berner?

  He almost poked me in the eye.

• 12:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm kind of obsessed. I need to get it in nude.

• 12:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, well, I love that for you.

• 12:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you.

• 12:57Hannah Berner?

  I love how she's like, this is the sass of my nipples, my UTI.

• 13:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:01Hannah Berner?

  Um, I PMSed so bad on like the day bef- two days before my period. And it was a weird PMS where like, I had no one I was mad at. No one I knew of who was mad at me. Nothing that was stressing me out. But like, the PMS is stronger than all those factors.

• 13:22Paige DeSorbo?

  But you were in rage.

• 13:23Hannah Berner?

  I was in ra- and I was sitting there and I knew that I was losing my mind.

• 13:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:26Hannah Berner?

  And I was, I was anxious about nothing.

• 13:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:30Hannah Berner?

  And it was so frustrating because like you feel crazy. Like I was just sitting there like, you just feel like,

• 13:35Paige DeSorbo?

  You want to murder someone.

• 13:35Hannah Berner?

  You want to punch something, but you have no valid reason.

• 13:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:38Hannah Berner?

  Every day, there's something that goes wrong. So normally I can put it into that, but I really had a very low drama day. So I, I was just sitting there fighting my own battles.

• 13:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, honestly, for the past three months, I've used the phrase, can I just have a day? Like I've texted so many of my girlfriends, they'll like send me something like, did you see this? Did you see that? I'm like, can I just have a day? Where someone's not seeing me the fuck off?

• 14:02Hannah Berner?

  Just eight hours, not even a full day. Just a work day.

• 14:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Just a work day.

• 14:06Hannah Berner?

  Just a nine to five work day. Um, so yeah, I was PMSing really bad, got my period. Everyone's okay now.

• 14:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Every single one of my group chats has a person who runs. You know, the one suspiciously cheerful about it. And I've come around, they're right. Running is freeing. It's cathartic. It surprises you with something good every time. It's your body reminding you, you can do more than you give it credit for.

• 14:30Hannah Berner?

  That's why I love the new Peloton Tread Flex. Peloton's latest treadmill that makes the joy of running a lot more accessible. The new Peloton Tread Flex is movable and foldable, designed to fit your life, even if you don't think it can. Nobody has a home gym. Everyone has a corner. Run, walk or hike when you need to and roll it away when you don't. It's perfect as the weather is starting to get colder.

• 14:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I love that you can roll it away when you're done with it and classes with expert instructors who also feel like your besties and programs at all levels that keep you moving. Call yourself a runner if you're just starting or race training from 5K all the way to a marathon. Peloton meets you where you are, so you move on your own terms. That's what running gives back. Let yourself run. Explore the new Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com.

• 15:17Paige DeSorbo?

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• 16:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash giggly for hers dot com slash giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. When you're looking for wellness brands, make sure you don't get one that greenwashes all of their products, saying "natural" or "clean", when in reality, they're not natural or clean. Nature Sunshine products are supplements that feature pure, potent ingredients. They're not greenwashed and they're thoughtfully sourced

• 16:47Paige DeSorbo?

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• 17:33Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode of giggly squad is brought to you by McDonald's, the quarter pounder with cheese with fries and a drink now for $8 for a limited time only. You know, I love getting McDonald's after a giggly squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My quarter pounder with cheese. The quarter pounder with cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. Absolutely love McDonald's and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary.

• 18:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery. Um, I do have one thing to bring to the forefront that I've been seeing on my TikTok.

• 18:28Hannah Berner?

  Please.

• 18:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I keep getting like all these TikToks of like Selena and Benny and like they've been doing like press and like whatever.

• 18:37Hannah Berner?

  I like their song Sunset Boulevard.

• 18:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I like them. Have you seen his toenails?

• 18:43Hannah Berner?

  No, that hasn't come across my desk.

• 18:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Do us a favor, type in Benny Blanco's toenails.

• 18:49Hannah Berner?

  Poor Chris. He's like, can I have a day?

• 18:53Paige DeSorbo?

  They are amazing.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  The art? Are we talking about the art?

• 18:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. This man, and I can't believe I'm even saying this because if someone said like, oh, he paints his toenails, I'd be like, ick. No, they're literally works of art. Please Google the sushi one.

• 19:12Hannah Berner?

  Wait, like should be in the MoMA?

• 19:13Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like he literally.

• 19:15Hannah Berner?

  Wait, so are, if your boyfriend started doing this?

• 19:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Honey, not mine.

• 19:19Hannah Berner?

  Honey, not mine.

• 19:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, honey, not mine.

• 19:22Hannah Berner?

  Well, my thing is that that would take forever.

• 19:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. But like, what a quirky, fun, creative thing.

• 19:28Hannah Berner?

  He's very quirky.

• 19:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I like it for him. Not my man.

• 19:31Hannah Berner?

  Can I say a hot take? Selena's been through a lot.

• 19:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:36Hannah Berner?

  And a lot of time when people have a traumatic like relationship in the public eye, the next relationship, they decide to keep it private.

• 19:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 19:46Hannah Berner?

  They're not.

• 19:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 19:48Hannah Berner?

  Do you think that she's just like, this is my life. I might as well monetize it?

• 19:54Hannah Berner?

  What a great, deep question, Hannah. I'm gonna tell you what I really feel from the bottom of my soul.

• 20:00Paige DeSorbo?

  I think she feels so protected by him.

• 20:04Hannah Berner?

  Hmm.

• 20:05Paige DeSorbo?

  That

• 20:06Hannah Berner?

  She wants to show it off.

• 20:07Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing that could anyone on the outside world could say or do about their relationship that would throw them off. This ma- this is a perfect example, and people will always say like, Paige, then like you shouldn't say that. He should oh. But I didn't say it yet. I didn't say it yet. Cause I'm getting to it. Like, I'm always like, the guy should love the girl more.

• 20:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 20:33Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred percent, like, full stop. I don't care what your reasoning is that it should be equal. It shouldn't.

• 20:38Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 20:38Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a perfect example. He loves her so much more. You can just tell.

• 20:43Hannah Berner?

  Uh huh.

• 20:43Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's how it should be. And that's why they're

• 20:46Hannah Berner?

  I also was gonna argue they're perfect. Chris, are you trying to show us more toes?

• 20:50Paige DeSorbo?

  So, yeah, I mean, is that not the craziest thing you've ever seen?

• 20:53Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I mean, he's a creative.

• 20:54Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 20:54Hannah Berner?

  Also, he sh- he shaved his toes for that one. I wonder if that was part of the, like, aesthetic.

• 20:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:00Hannah Berner?

  I love that. Okay, you can put it away, Chris. Thank you.

• 21:03Hannah Berner?

  Chris is loving it. Okay, Chris is gonna show up.

• 21:07Hannah Berner?

  I love that I found out Benny Blanco's written every single song ever.

• 21:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, no, literally, like, ever.

• 21:15Hannah Berner?

  Ever. And I love hearing musicians talk about writing songs, cause they're like, yeah, I did like a one-two beat.

• 21:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:21Hannah Berner?

  And then I, I, I said California Girls.

• 21:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 21:24Hannah Berner?

  And then like, uh,

• 21:25Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just a different, they have a different part of their brain.

• 21:27Hannah Berner?

  But he is so successful and hasn't been, been in the room with every famous artist, so he can like handle her fame.

• 21:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Hundred percent.

• 21:35Hannah Berner?

  Sometimes I feel like maybe she would wanna protect who she's dating from all the shit that she gets. I mean, he's been called a literally s- a sewer troll.

• 21:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:45Hannah Berner?

  For the last like two y- or year, or whatever they've been dating. But I guess you're right, like, they're used to the public eye in a way.

• 21:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 21:52Hannah Berner?

  He has the zaniness where he could like handle it.

• 21:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm. I just love a man who's self-aware enough to be like, my job is to make her life easier.

• 22:01Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 22:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 22:03Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 22:03Paige DeSorbo?

  The day I meet someone that's like, I just wanna make your life easier.

• 22:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. I'm like, I'm nervous about it just cuz I'm like protective of them. And I feel like they're giving too much.

• 22:15Paige DeSorbo?

  They've done a couple morning shows. They're gonna be fine.

• 22:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, Justin and Haley, like it's still this thing where like everyone compares and all this stuff. So the more you give, the more people can have opinions.

• 22:27Paige DeSorbo?

  I couldn't imagine that. I mean, dealing with it for, they've been dealing, I've been literally dealing with a breakup for like three months and I wanna shoot myself in the eye.

• 22:35Hannah Berner?

  No, I know.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Have they been dealing with this for almost ten years?

• 22:40Hannah Berner?

  Their whole life.

• 22:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Like that I would, I I could never.

• 22:44Hannah Berner?

  Benny is friends with Justin. Like they've written songs together.

• 22:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 22:49Hannah Berner?

  Cuz famous people, it's like a little high school and they all like date and fuck each other. But um, I love it.

• 22:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it.

• 22:56Hannah Berner?

  I love it. I would argue if you're inspired by Selena and Benny's relationship. How do I say this in a nice way? Don't settle for the ugly guy that likes you a lot. Cuz he's not Benny Blanco. He's not as rich or successful or nice. And when you settle for an ugly guy, he's actually the one that's gonna break your heart. Rip out your heartstrings more than anyone cuz you were like, I was doing a make a wish. You liked me first. I felt safe. And then they get confident for a second cuz a cute girl liked them and then they will ruin you more than like any hot dude you've ever dated.

• 23:29Paige DeSorbo?

  If I had to rank all my boyfriends in my head, my two ugliest ruin my life.

• 23:35Hannah Berner?

  Every, it's always a guy named like Matt, a guy named Matt who you were like, I pulled you out of, like, out of obscurity.

• 23:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Literally, literally.

• 23:44Hannah Berner?

  Literally. So I'm just saying, don't like go to.

• 23:48Paige DeSorbo?

  But let me tell you something else. The good looking ones also fuck ya.

• 23:53Hannah Berner?

  True.

• 23:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You know?

• 23:55Hannah Berner?

  I think the key is to find a good looking guy. Nope, there's no key.

• 24:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Nope, no key.

• 24:02Hannah Berner?

  Nope, no key.

• 24:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I truly think it it is. He has to be a little bit more obsessed with you than you are with him.

• 24:08Hannah Berner?

  But not too much more, then it gets restraining order-y.

• 24:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, then it gets ick. But like, he has to think about you more than you think about him.

• 24:16Hannah Berner?

  I always say that he has to, he has to know first.

• 24:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 24:20Hannah Berner?

  And I don't mean he has to choose you, I just mean he has to fucking know first. And you can't have to convince him at all. If you're trying to convince him. Cause I would argue that no one changes.

• 24:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Nobody changes.

• 24:32Hannah Berner?

  Well, we're just saying generic statements now.

• 24:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you wanna know something?

• 24:35Hannah Berner?

  No one changes.

• 24:35Paige DeSorbo?

  My grandma, rest in peace.

• 24:38Hannah Berner?

  Oh my god, rest in peace.

• 24:39Paige DeSorbo?

  My grandma gave me two pieces of advice, and I remember them to this day. The first one, she said, if you're dating someone new page, you have to experience all four seasons with them. Because people are different in, at different times of the year. And two, people don't change. And I feel like I get pushback on that statement so much, where it's like, I feel like bridesmaids, where it's like, well, they grow. They don't. People don't change. They can give you like a representative for a certain amount of time. And I've met, I've met some amazing representatives.

• 25:14Hannah Berner?

  My biggest advice with dating, cause now I'm remembering what I used to be when dating, is I would like see a guy I wanted. And then I would just take in all the information of like what he wanted.

• 25:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:27Hannah Berner?

  And like, respond the way I thought he wanted to respond. And like, men are kinda simple, and the next thing you know. Like, I would be a representative.

• 25:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:35Hannah Berner?

  And then you, you look in the mirror and you're like, who the fuck is this? And even though he likes you, you don't like who you've become.

• 25:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 25:41Hannah Berner?

  And you're like, wait, I got what I wanted, and I miss who I was.

• 25:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:46Hannah Berner?

  So that was like how I dated.

• 25:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like we dated very differently, but had like the same problem. You even saying like you saw a guy you wanted and you would go after them. I had a therapist tell me one time, like, of all the dating stories you tell me, never once have you picked the guy. Like, you keep letting them pick you, and you don't like them. Like, why do you let them pick you?

• 26:08Hannah Berner?

  I love when I see a girl, like, meet a really good-looking guy and be like, I talked to him, and like, we just didn't hit it off. Cause like, when I was younger, I was like. No, he's good looking, like, obviously I want to be with him. I was very, um, I really was shallow with men. Not my outfits, not myself, but with men.

• 26:27Paige DeSorbo?

  You loved having like a good looking man who people thought was cool.

• 26:30Hannah Berner?

  Loved it.

• 26:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, oh, that's Hannah's boyfriend.

• 26:32Hannah Berner?

  Uh, like a handbag.

• 26:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:34Hannah Berner?

  And, cause I thought it was, um.

• 26:35Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I loved a pet project.

• 26:37Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 26:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:38Hannah Berner?

  See, I thought it was like, um, feminist.

• 26:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:41Hannah Berner?

  I felt like a, like a ugly man.

• 26:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I liked finding them real traumatized. And being like, let me help you. And then I'd be like, and this is why your mom doesn't love you.

• 26:54Hannah Berner?

  I had something crazy happen to me this week.

• 26:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Tell them.

• 26:57Hannah Berner?

  There's a tennis player. Named Kim Kloester's.

• 27:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 27:00Hannah Berner?

  Who's one of the greatest tennis players of all time, won multiple grand slams. She messaged me a while ago and was like, loved your special. And I was like, Kim Kloester, I love you.

• 27:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember when you saw Coco Goff at Vanity Fair and you literally?

• 27:17Hannah Berner?

  I was like.

• 27:19Hannah Berner?

  And she was so nice. I lost my mind.

• 27:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:21Hannah Berner?

  She was so cool. Hi Coco, love you. So Kim Kloester's was like, oh my God, you play tennis? We should hit sometimes. That's like, okay, let me try to think of your world.

• 27:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Give me an analogy.

• 27:31Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna give you an analogy.

• 27:32Paige DeSorbo?

  That's like Victoria Beckham was like, hey, do you want to get lunch?

• 27:35Hannah Berner?

  That's like Victoria Beckham being like, hey, I'm gonna go shopping. Can you help me?

• 27:41Hannah Berner?

  And you didn't do anything to make her do that. Like she literally was like, hey Paige, I love your outfit. Can you come shopping with me?

• 27:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God, no, I would cry.

• 27:48Hannah Berner?

  So I'm sitting, I thought she was like being nice.

• 27:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:50Hannah Berner?

  Didn't say anything, cause I'm not like that. Okay? I'm, I'm not good at, at talking to important people. If they want to talk to me, that's fine, but I'll get out of it pretty quick before I embarrass myself. So then like she commented on some, we were like kind of commenting a little bit and she kept being like, when do you want to hit? And I was like.

• 28:06Paige DeSorbo?

  She was following up with the plan.

• 28:07Hannah Berner?

  She was, she was just like.

• 28:08Paige DeSorbo?

  She's telling it is.

• 28:09Hannah Berner?

  Yes. So then the other week, she was like, Hannah, are you in town? And I was like, you know, actually I am. Like Geeky Squad tour is over. I'm, I'm in town. And she's like, do you want to hit on Friday? And I was like, that would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

• 28:24Paige DeSorbo?

  So where'd you go?

• 28:25Hannah Berner?

  So we go to this place in like Hell's Kitchen. She came from New Jersey. Which is like a while, so I immediately felt pressure. I was like, she came all the way from New Jersey. I can't fuck this shit up.

• 28:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:35Hannah Berner?

  Mind you. My cardio is not great right now.

• 28:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:39Hannah Berner?

  I've been on planes.

• 28:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:41Hannah Berner?

  I'm trying to come up with excuses. I've, look, I'm not.

• 28:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Have I told you about my walking pad?

• 28:46Hannah Berner?

  Um.

• 28:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I told everyone about my walking pad.

• 28:50Hannah Berner?

  The things you do instead of therapy?

• 28:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed with my walking pad. And if you think, have you been getting the TikToks of the girls with the splits machines?

• 28:59Hannah Berner?

  Splits machi- like you do a split?

• 29:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's like a machi- it's like you put your legs, it looks like stirrups, like, or it looks like the things like when you go to the gynecologist. Like you put your legs in them.

• 29:09Hannah Berner?

  Oh, and you push it together?

• 29:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Thing. No, you crank this thing and it stretches your legs and you just like sit like that.

• 29:15Hannah Berner?

  So girls are just gonna tear their groins.

• 29:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it, my ordered one.

• 29:19Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm getting the ones where your body just like shakes?

• 29:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you are.

• 29:22Hannah Berner?

  So you like have an exorcism?

• 29:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I, my goal is I want to be able to do a split by July.

• 29:27Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I love that you brought that up because I've never come close to a split.

• 29:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Me neither.

• 29:32Hannah Berner?

  And I think the universe did that to me because they knew if I could do a split.

• 29:35Paige DeSorbo?

  It's all you would do.

• 29:36Hannah Berner?

  It's all I would do. You would get super annoying.

• 29:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Hop down into a split anywhere we were.

• 29:39Hannah Berner?

  I'm being split right now.

• 29:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 29:41Hannah Berner?

  Also, I do have to say when I would sex back in my day.

• 29:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 29:44Hannah Berner?

  I was like, split on the dick, rotate. Like I was false advertising that shit. I was all my, I was like leg behind my head, both legs behind my head. And then I show up at his place and I'm like.

• 29:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No, have you ever actually tried to put your leg behind your head and it starts shaking and you're like, that's so embarrassing?

• 29:59Hannah Berner?

  I've never even gotten to the shaking part. My leg's just like, no. But I think it's genetic that people can do splits.

• 30:05Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it's probably.

• 30:06Hannah Berner?

  Like you know people come out of the womb and they're like just like doing splits?

• 30:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Flexible. It's like how flexible their hips are.

• 30:11Hannah Berner?

  How flexible babies are.

• 30:14Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so flexible.

• 30:15Hannah Berner?

  Do you ever see them just like put their foot in their mouth?

• 30:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, what's the age that you like, you're starting to lose your flexibility and you don't even know it?

• 30:21Hannah Berner?

  What's the age where all your trauma starts to get stored in your hips?

• 30:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:25Hannah Berner?

  So anyway, I have all my trauma stored in my hips and my lower back and I go up to meet Kim Klaisters. And she, when I tell you she's cool, like, she's from Belgium.

• 30:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:33Hannah Berner?

  She, some guys there recognizes her, speaking French to her, she's speaking French. She's awesome. We get on the court. And we start hitting and it's like incredible.

• 30:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:42Hannah Berner?

  Like I'm hitting with the woman I used to watch on TV who's, and, and also it's like her art.

• 30:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 30:47Hannah Berner?

  This is her.

• 30:48Paige DeSorbo?

  This is the story of, it was good to meet your hero.

• 30:51Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 30:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:51Hannah Berner?

  But you're like, what's the point of this story?

• 30:55Hannah Berner?

  Can we wrap it up? Okay. A lot of side tangents, but long story short, ten minutes in, I was like really excited.

• 31:02Paige DeSorbo?

  What'd you wear?

• 31:04Hannah Berner?

  I just wore a white polo and Lululemon leggings and Coco Goff New Balance shoes. It wasn't a look, but it was like primed to perform.

• 31:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 31:14Hannah Berner?

  So ten minutes in.

• 31:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Some say if you look good, you play good, but not here. We don't say it here.

• 31:20Hannah Berner?

  Serena Williams did say that. So I, I don't know if you've ever been like nervous, plus hyped up.

• 31:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Uh, yeah. Sure fucking have.

• 31:29Hannah Berner?

  You were already like breathing heavy, plus like she obviously doesn't miss.

• 31:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 31:35Hannah Berner?

  Ten minutes in, I'm like, I'm gonna croak. Like I need an oxygen tank. So I start just like bringing up conversation like, oh, quick question.

• 31:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Trying to like catch your own breath.

• 31:44Hannah Berner?

  No, I can't breathe. And like, it's also because I haven't played and I went from like zero to a hundred.

• 31:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 31:49Hannah Berner?

  I keep pretending to tie my shoes. Like I like took off my shoe at one point and re, I like took apart my shoe, re-put my shoe together. And then we sit down and she's asking me like nice questions and I'm trying to talk, but I'm, I'm literally so out of breath, I can't speak.

• 32:04Paige DeSorbo?

  How long do you play for?

• 32:05Hannah Berner?

  So we ended up talking a lot because I was like about to faint and we ended up probably total playing for like twenty five, thirty minutes. I felt bad. But like, you know, she wasn't there to have like the hit of her life.

• 32:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 32:18Hannah Berner?

  But I, I like, I did well and hadn't played in a couple of months.

• 32:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 32:22Hannah Berner?

  And I feel like newly inspired and.

• 32:24Paige DeSorbo?

  And now you're friends.

• 32:25Hannah Berner?

  And, and I have a new best friend.

• 32:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait. So that was the point of the story. You have a new friend and you wanted to run it by me and see how I felt about it.

• 32:34Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 32:34Paige DeSorbo?

  And you tried to distract me with that you love tennis, she loves tennis. I don't really care about tennis. You even said, we didn't even wear good outfits. You would have had a horrible time.

• 32:44Hannah Berner?

  I did. Then afterwards, you know, when you leave and then I was also PMSing. So I was like, I don't know if, if she liked me. If she went all the way from New Jersey. She has a family. She left her family. That wasn't worth it. Like I literally convinced myself that I wasted her time. And then the next day she texted me and I've been married for a while.

• 33:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:05Hannah Berner?

  I felt like.

• 33:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You forgot what it was.

• 33:08Hannah Berner?

  You know, after a date when you're like fifty fifty and then he texts you and you go, yeah.

• 33:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Hannah Berner?

  And you go from nothing to being like, am I the greatest who ever did it?

• 33:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:19Hannah Berner?

  So, but I, now I don't know what to text her. What do you, what do I do?

• 33:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You're always in this predicament.

• 33:26Hannah Berner?

  I always get in this. I think I'm shyer.

• 33:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 33:31Hannah Berner?

  With like texts.

• 33:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you are. Then you are in person.

• 33:35Hannah Berner?

  It's because I have a friend named Haley, who I love Haley Nicola. She listens to every episode, not Haley Beebs. And Haley harasses me over texts.

• 33:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Haley texting should be studied.

• 33:47Hannah Berner?

  So I warn people. I say Haley is the greatest human on this planet.

• 33:51Paige DeSorbo?

  The greatest. You gotta carve out at least forty-five minutes if you're gonna throw her a text.

• 33:55Hannah Berner?

  I go, do not judge her by her texting habits because Haley likes to text.

• 34:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Continuously.

• 34:00Hannah Berner?

  As the thoughts come to her.

• 34:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And she's quick.

• 34:04Hannah Berner?

  God forbid, she thinks before she texts. She starts off with, hey. You're watching her come up with it as she texts you. And if you look at your phone, it looks like corn on the cob. Just like duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. So Haley, I love you. So anyway, I'm working on a new friendship. I'll keep you guys posted.

• 34:22Paige DeSorbo?

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• 35:05Paige DeSorbo?

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• 35:50Paige DeSorbo?

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• 36:34Paige DeSorbo?

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• 37:18Paige DeSorbo?

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• 38:06Hannah Berner?

  I have another hot take.

• 38:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 38:09Hannah Berner?

  I watched the Baldwin's.

• 38:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. It's literally keeps getting advertised to me on my Amazon Prime. It's like, shows you would like, shows you would like, shows you would like. I'm like, I can't.

• 38:20Paige DeSorbo?

  How is that?

• 38:21Hannah Berner?

  So, I have a lot of thoughts.

• 38:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 38:23Hannah Berner?

  First off, I watched the Rust, which is a documentary about what happened.

• 38:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, with the whole like Spanish accent thing?

• 38:32Hannah Berner?

  No, with the whole Alec Baldwin murdering.

• 38:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 38:38Hannah Berner?

  The whole shooting incident.

• 38:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Now I sound so insensitive. I'm like, they made a documentary about her fake accent?

• 38:42Hannah Berner?

  The truth is, the reality series is covering him going through the trials.

• 38:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 38:48Hannah Berner?

  And she's also, they acknowledge like that she gets a lot of hate for her Spanish stuff. Like, they don't ignore it at all.

• 38:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow.

• 38:55Hannah Berner?

  Cause like, basically, we're like, they're like, if you're gonna do it, you have to show us this stuff.

• 38:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Why are they doing this?

• 39:01Hannah Berner?

  I think it's a money thing.

• 39:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, they got ten kids. I mean, they got a fucking baseball team.

• 39:08Hannah Berner?

  I have to say, the first episode, I was intrigued.

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 39:12Hannah Berner?

  The first, and it's because, first of all, you're watching an A-lister, Alec Baldwin. He's going through the trauma of...

• 39:18Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think she's gorgeous. Like, she's gorgeous. Yeah.

• 39:23Hannah Berner?

  The trauma, you're watching the trauma of him, like, it's unfathomable, like, how horrible what happened.

• 39:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 39:32Hannah Berner?

  And he's clearly in like, a really bad place.

• 39:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, shock.

• 39:34Hannah Berner?

  And they're in like, a four or five-bedroom apartment in New York City with seven kids. And they go through and like, describe each of the kids, kind of like, the seven dwarves. Like, they're like, he's dopey, he's silly, this one's...

• 39:48Paige DeSorbo?

  No, seven kids is crazy.

• 39:51Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed, like, I loved watching, like, Lives of the Rich and Famous, like, remember VH1?

• 39:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 39:57Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my god.

• 39:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you remember that guy's voice?

• 39:59Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 39:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Where it was like, it was like, British, where it was like, pah. Paris Hilton has seven thousand water bottles. Something and you're just like, oh my god.

• 40:10Hannah Berner?

  She, she had forty billion crystals on her toilet.

• 40:14Paige DeSorbo?

  And if you think that was crazy, wait till her twenty first birthday. Like that was his voice and I love that fucking guy. Bring that show back.

• 40:22Hannah Berner?

  Bring that show back.

• 40:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Where is that show?

• 40:25Hannah Berner?

  His estate on the mountain, no one's allowed to go unless what I. I love seeing like people's rich, crazy lives, but like this is insane. But you do see like their relationship is different than you think.

• 40:38Paige DeSorbo?

  It's actually so funny you say that, like obviously the internet is built and like influencers is built on like relatability in some capacity. Like I love seeing a bitch that I relate to. But the second best thing is someone I don't relate to at all. Like I, I'm like, that's intrigued. A woman with seven kids, I can't relate.

• 40:58Hannah Berner?

  I understand why this was like greenlit because it's, there's so much crazy stuff. I, I don't love that the kids are on TV. Especially like the oldest one who's amazing and so funny and so cute. But like, they don't just have seven kids. They have four cats and four dogs.

• 41:15Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 41:16Hannah Berner?

  So like, there's mental illness happening.

• 41:18Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's.

• 41:18Hannah Berner?

  So I'm intrigued. I'm like, I need to understand what's going on.

• 41:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm locked into this.

• 41:24Hannah Berner?

  And she, you know, she has a sense of humor.

• 41:27Paige DeSorbo?

  She has a charisma, honey.

• 41:29Hannah Berner?

  She has a charisma. So she was a yoga teacher, which you know yoga teachers are fucking bonkers. Crazy as fuck. But yoga teachers are like, if I'm gonna talk to someone in the room, I want to talk to the yoga teacher because she's gonna be inspiring. She's loony, manifesting shit. So she's, she handles him because he's, also he's hilarious. Like he randomly would just be doing funny voices. The daughter was like, fifty percent of the time, my dad's really funny. And then fifty percent of the time, he's like, in the eighties, this is what it was like. I'm like, that's literally how I talk about Des.

• 41:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Like, that's so funny. That's how my husband.

• 42:02Hannah Berner?

  But like, he's an A-list actor. So every now and then he's doing like funny voices. And you realize like, he's just kind of this creative guy. His dad wanted him to get into like a real job and he wanted to be an actor and he's just a creative actor. She looks at him and says all these like inspirational things while he's like clearly like he's.

• 42:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Are they in love?

• 42:24Hannah Berner?

  I think they're functioning.

• 42:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Who loves the other one more?

• 42:28Hannah Berner?

  I feel like he's broken.

• 42:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, perfect.

• 42:32Hannah Berner?

  He's broken and she, he basically was like.

• 42:35Paige DeSorbo?

  And she's uplifting.

• 42:36Hannah Berner?

  He literally said, I had the worst home life and horrible family life and all I wanted was to come home to a home full of children and a wife that holds me down.

• 42:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Damn.

• 42:45Hannah Berner?

  And he's like, she keeps my life together and she is the like, the uplifting, positive voice that I need and she's, he can be like grumpy and stuff and she always is positive. By the way, nothing happens in the show. Like the first episode is like, you get the point.

• 43:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:01Hannah Berner?

  Cause both the first episode is them in the city being like, okay, we're gonna go out to the Hamptons. Not that easy when you have seven kids and seven animals.

• 43:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, you don't even fit in one car.

• 43:10Hannah Berner?

  And they have two nannies. So they have three cars and they have to, they have a whole ch- chart system and and the kids are biting each other and crying and and they can't find a cat.

• 43:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait to make my first chart system as well.

• 43:22Hannah Berner?

  No, so she's like, and Alec Baldwin goes, whatever you do, I don't want the cats in the car. I love them, but I'm allergic and to be in the car, I can't do. Of course she puts all the cats in his car. Um, and probably producers.

• 43:36Hannah Berner?

  But like, it's a fascinating look into these people's lives. But they talk about how, yeah, they kind of have to hide a lot. They just like hide together and they have each other. But what happened on that set with Helena, the director.

• 43:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:50Hannah Berner?

  Is so devastating because basically they didn't, long story short, they didn't have a lot of funding. They ended up hiring a girl who like, wasn't really qualified for the, and she, her job was to manage the guns. And what happened is there's not supposed to be any real rounds on set.

• 44:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Like at all.

• 44:10Hannah Berner?

  At all. And it was randomly in a bunch of guns, real bullets.

• 44:14Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that's so terrifying.

• 44:16Hannah Berner?

  The fact that it didn't happen before he did it is like a miracle. And the day, this is really upsetting, but the day that it happened, the day before, a bunch of people had quit. Cause they felt like it wasn't safe. Cause there'd been like some mistakes and they were like, we can't be on this set anymore. We don't feel like it's safe.

• 44:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 44:35Hannah Berner?

  And some cameramen quit and that's why the director was standing up by the camera. Cause normally she would be away. And that's why when he so, oh my god, I'm gonna, I'm like shaking, so it's fucking insane. And he's lived a long life and he's like, this, this is nothing like I've ever been able to deal with before.

• 44:53Paige DeSorbo?

  The craziest thing that's ever happened to me.

• 44:55Hannah Berner?

  Fast forward, everyone's talking about, speaking of Hollywood, the studio.

• 44:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Seth Rogen, have you watched?

• 45:01Hannah Berner?

  I have watched.

• 45:04Hannah Berner?

  People are loving it.

• 45:07Paige DeSorbo?

  What are they loving?

• 45:09Hannah Berner?

  I don't need to be stressed out when I'm watching TV. And they're calling it cringe comedy. It's not cringe, it's I'm stressed out comedy. Like, no, it's like, I tripped. Then I broke my leg, then someone needs my leg, then I, I lose money, and I don't have any money, and then I'm lying in the street. I'm like, I'm stressed.

• 45:26Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not my type, it's not my type of humor.

• 45:29Hannah Berner?

  I agree with you. Okay, I thought I was crazy, because people were like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Do I think the cinematography is fantastic? Do I love every actor in it? Was Martin Scorsese incredible?

• 45:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Is Seth Rogen?

• 45:43Hannah Berner?

  A genius?

• 45:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, a master of his time, yeah.

• 45:47Hannah Berner?

  But like, not my sense of humor.

• 45:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Not my sense of humor. I do like that it is, it feels, it feels like they really did take from their lives, like, these are real scenarios.

• 45:58Hannah Berner?

  Am I gonna be watching every episode? Yes.

• 46:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, there's nothing else on TV.

• 46:01Hannah Berner?

  There's nothing else on TV anymore.

• 46:02Paige DeSorbo?

  And when Apple comes out with something, I watch it.

• 46:04Hannah Berner?

  They don't fuck around.

• 46:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they're quality over quantity.

• 46:06Hannah Berner?

  Have you heard about The Pit?

• 46:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I watch it.

• 46:09Hannah Berner?

  Is it about a hospital?

• 46:11Paige DeSorbo?

  You would hate it.

• 46:11Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing, everyone's saying it's good, but I am, I get.

• 46:15Paige DeSorbo?

  You would dislike it.

• 46:16Hannah Berner?

  If I see blood.

• 46:18Paige DeSorbo?

  It's really good because it's one, the season is one day. It's one day, broken up into like, the hours of the day is each of the episodes. Did you ever watch Twenty Four?

• 46:31Hannah Berner?

  I heard of it.

• 46:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, so it's like that, where it's like, one day in the hospital, and it's really good because there is a really like, realistic factor in it, not that I've ever worked in a hospital or like, no.

• 46:44Hannah Berner?

  But I watch Grey's Anatomy, so.

• 46:46Paige DeSorbo?

  This is, actually, that's a, that's a real term they use.

• 46:48Hannah Berner?

  Compared to Grey's Anatomy, is it accurate?

• 46:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it's accurate. It's similar to Grey's Anatomy, but it's not as like, romantic as like, Grey's and, and like, Grey's Anatomy was a fucking sex show, like, that was like.

• 47:01Hannah Berner?

  Would you hook up with McDreamy?

• 47:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Hell, yeah, what?

• 47:06Hannah Berner?

  Have you ever watched Scandal?

• 47:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 47:07Hannah Berner?

  Would you rather hook up with McDreamy or the president?

• 47:12Paige DeSorbo?

  McDreamy McDreamy McSteamy actually I was more of a McSteamy gal.

• 47:18Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I have to look at them all up.

• 47:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Um.

• 47:19Hannah Berner?

  But like, obviously, if they're over forty, I'm in.

• 47:21Paige DeSorbo?

  But the main doctor in the pit is so hot. Like, that's who you're like, I'm watching for him. And there's something about like a man in charge who like keeps his cool. It's just so fucking hot.

• 47:35Hannah Berner?

  Hot take, I think there's more male doctors because they um don't have empathy.

• 47:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow, what an interesting take.

• 47:47Hannah Berner?

  Like, women are.

• 47:48Paige DeSorbo?

  They're more nurturing, so like they'd have more like they'd it would be too tough.

• 47:52Hannah Berner?

  I don't know. I do know that the nurses that are primarily women, it's just weird. The nurses are primarily women.

• 47:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm hmm.

• 47:58Hannah Berner?

  And let's be honest, the nurses are doing everything. The doctor comes in and is like.

• 48:00Paige DeSorbo?

  The show actually kind of like there's one head nurse and it's like.

• 48:04Hannah Berner?

  She's running shit. Yeah, and then the doctor comes in and goes, you're welcome, walks out.

• 48:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:10Hannah Berner?

  Um, but there is a sense of like, being a doctor is about like, every day you can see the most depends what kind of doctor you are, obviously. Sometimes you're just like, it's great.

• 48:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Their their this show is their trauma, they're a trauma center.

• 48:22Hannah Berner?

  You have to go home after that and like.

• 48:24Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know how they do that.

• 48:25Hannah Berner?

  And like, talk to your wife.

• 48:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know how anyone in the medical field legitimately did covid.

• 48:31Hannah Berner?

  Though.

• 48:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I I.

• 48:32Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to all of them for.

• 48:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd love to know how many people after covid in the medical field quit.

• 48:40Hannah Berner?

  Well, because it was it was irrational and insane and they went above and beyond to like help the world.

• 48:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 48:45Hannah Berner?

  But I also, maybe it's kind of like me with watching murder documentaries where like, maybe some of these people are like, whatever happens during the day reminds myself my day could have been worse. Like, maybe like, maybe they're like, I can handle all this because then I'll be grateful that like I'm alive.

• 49:01Paige DeSorbo?

  That's how people feel watching reality TV.

• 49:03Hannah Berner?

  Exactly.

• 49:04Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, well, I don't got those kind of problems.

• 49:06Hannah Berner?

  Oh, one more thing I was watching, Khan Mum.

• 49:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I saw advertisement.

• 49:13Hannah Berner?

  It's on Netflix. Oh my gosh.

• 49:16Paige DeSorbo?

  It's documentary style.

• 49:18Hannah Berner?

  You guys love I Know a Con.

• 49:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like a girl or a woman that pretends to be someone's mom.

• 49:22Hannah Berner?

  So I'm not, I don't wanna give away who she is, but basically this like adorable pastry chef. Meets a woman who's also adorable. They fall in love. They get pregnant. She realizes he has some demons that he hasn't worked out.

• 49:38Paige DeSorbo?

  So if I had a nickel.

• 49:39Hannah Berner?

  Perfect type.

• 49:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 49:40Hannah Berner?

  She's like, I will fix you. And he's like, I don't talk to my dad anymore. He was like, not cool. And I don't know who my mom is. And out of nowhere, he gets an email from someone being like, hey, I'm your mom. And he asks her like a bunch of questions and she knows the answers to all of them about his life. And she's like changed her name a couple of times.

• 50:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, spoiler alert.

• 50:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Just waiting for people to click off. Is it the wife?

• 50:08Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 50:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 50:09Hannah Berner?

  But I love your thinking, you sick fuck.

• 50:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, keep going.

• 50:13Hannah Berner?

  So then he meets her and she um destroys their lives.

• 50:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Is she?

• 50:19Hannah Berner?

  Spoiler alert.

• 50:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Spoiler alert. Is she his real? Is she?

• 50:26Hannah Berner?

  Spoiler.

• 50:28Hannah Berner?

  The whole time.

• 50:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, why don't people use the phrase spoiler alert in more like everyday jargon when it has not, you're not gonna spoil anything, but like anytime I'm gonna say T now, I wanna be like spoiler alert. She's a fucking cunt.

• 50:43Hannah Berner?

  You go, how's your day? Spoiler alert? Not good.

• 50:48Hannah Berner?

  Wait, why do I wanna call my next special spoiler alert?

• 50:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I kind of love it.

• 50:53Hannah Berner?

  I know.

• 50:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, but true, I have a question. So spoiler alert. Is she his real mom?

• 50:58Hannah Berner?

  Spoiler alert.

• 51:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No way.

• 51:01Hannah Berner?

  But that's like a real spoiler.

• 51:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, the other spoiler alerts are like.

• 51:06Hannah Berner?

  Those were fake. Those were, that was real.

• 51:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's great. Okay, I'm gonna watch that tonight then, cuz I clicked it and I was like, I don't know.

• 51:13Hannah Berner?

  Grace, can you bleep out my answer cuz I don't, I feel like I'll ruin it for people.

• 51:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay. Oh my god, spoiler alert.

• 51:19Hannah Berner?

  Spoiler alert, but like conning and lying, it is crazy how you watch people who are very intelligent, very smart, for whatever reason, get literally groomed. Final thought, it's about to be fucking April.

• 51:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Time flies when you're having fun.

• 51:34Hannah Berner?

  We're about to go on a book press run.

• 51:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we are.

• 51:39Hannah Berner?

  And we're so excited. We have to get a lot of outfits.

• 51:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 51:42Hannah Berner?

  How are you doing?

• 51:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not doing good. I'm not doing good.

• 51:45Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 51:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not doing good, uh.

• 51:48Hannah Berner?

  Spoiler alert?

• 51:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Spoiler alert.

• 51:49Hannah Berner?

  Not doing good.

• 51:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Not great over here. I have like one outfit. We're doing Drew Barrymore tomorrow, which I'm very excited for.

• 51:56Hannah Berner?

  And we're sitting on the couch at Fallon.

• 51:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna pop over to Jimmy Fallon quick.

• 52:02Hannah Berner?

  We're gonna say hi to Jim's St. Louis alumni.

• 52:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Jimmy Fallon. I just love it so much. There's something about late night talk shows that are like very exciting to me. And that what I'm most nervous about is anyone like a celebrity that I love, like if they're on Jimmy Fallon, I will watch their interview on Jimmy Fallon. He's my favorite of all the late night hosts.

• 52:22Hannah Berner?

  What's significant about this is like, this is Hollywood shit. Like this is a late night sitting down.

• 52:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm crying.

• 52:28Hannah Berner?

  And it's important because back then, there were so many like gatekeepers that would prevent two girls who are funny from making it to the couch at Jimmy Fallon. And it's cuz of you guys.

• 52:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 52:41Hannah Berner?

  And because of TikTok and because of podcasting that we're able to like do this thing.

• 52:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Hitters will say it's photoshopped, but it's not.

• 52:50Hannah Berner?

  Wait, remember when people used to say that all the time?

• 52:52Paige DeSorbo?

  The thing that scares me though-

• 52:54Hannah Berner?

  Also, there might be some Photoshop.

• 52:55Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm definitely gonna like Photoshop my face. The thing that scares me though is like, when you go on Jimmy Fallon, you have to have a story.

• 53:03Hannah Berner?

  We can't focus on one story. Literally two seconds and I'll be like-

• 53:07Paige DeSorbo?

  What is our story?

• 53:08Hannah Berner?

  I'm gonna start a sidetrack, you're gonna be like Hannah, I'm gonna say spoiler alert. There's a pre-interview, they call you and they like vet your stories and tell you which one they think is gonna be best, but like, we have to think of a story.

• 53:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, someone-

• 53:18Hannah Berner?

  We have to make up a story.

• 53:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Every once in a while, like, someone will comment something mean on my Instagram and they'll absolutely eat. But like, I'll be like, fuck.

• 53:26Hannah Berner?

  Mm-hmm, and then you're like, that's not funny.

• 53:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they all like screenshot it and send it to my brother, like, they nailed me with that one. Someone wrote something mean on my Instagram and they're like, I forget how this girl even started it, where she was something like, she went to an obscure college and

• 53:46Paige DeSorbo?

  she went to an obscure college and like, it closed, so like, she's an idiot, or something like, something like that. Boys alive, but also, I feel like if we need a fallback, me and Jimmy Fallon went to the same college. So it's like, we'll use-

• 53:59Hannah Berner?

  That is now, that got cancelled.

• 54:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Right, and like, that's funny, inherently.

• 54:03Hannah Berner?

  Hilarious. No, it's gonna be great.

• 54:05Paige DeSorbo?

  We're gonna be fine. I'm definitely gonna take a beta blocker.

• 54:08Hannah Berner?

  And you, you don't know what you're gonna wear yet? Or you kinda?

• 54:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't know.

• 54:12Hannah Berner?

  Cause that's the one where you need to have like a look, like L-E-W-K.

• 54:15Paige DeSorbo?

  The only thing I know for my look for Jimmy Fallon, and I don't know why, but it's just like something I'm feeling.

• 54:21Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I want my decolletage out.

• 54:23Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 54:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I might wanna do something like cold shoulder, off the shoulder.

• 54:27Hannah Berner?

  Love, love.

• 54:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Something with like, maybe like something mini.

• 54:30Hannah Berner?

  It's very like cocktail evening.

• 54:33Paige DeSorbo?

  I wanna go like 2016 vibes.

• 54:35Hannah Berner?

  Oh.

• 54:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm always trying to go back to 2016.

• 54:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, you are.

• 54:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like.

• 54:39Hannah Berner?

  You go, is it 2016 right now?

• 54:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like the fall of 2015.

• 54:45Hannah Berner?

  Was that when you first graduated college and you were like going out in New York City for the first time?

• 54:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:51Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. That's when you were like-

• 54:52Paige DeSorbo?

  She's different.

• 54:53Hannah Berner?

  The world is my oyster.

• 54:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, a husband, I'll find one in two seconds. Spoiler alert, I didn't.

• 55:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Uh, we love to end the show the callback.

• 55:05Hannah Berner?

  That's called a bookend. Um, we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling and if you haven't pre-ordered a book, do it because it's gonna arrive in two weeks. It's happening. It's happening, it's happening, spoiler alert. Bye.

• 55:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Bye.

• 55:24Speaker 06

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• 55:54Hannah Berner?

  Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.

• 55:59Paige DeSorbo?

  If you want to hear new episodes ad-free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit siriusxm.com/podcastplus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice.