Pretty Little Episode #41

Mae and Fortune discuss sitcom premises and answer an adorable question from a five year old who asks about getting in trouble at school, on another Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:05Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the program before sitting down to enjoy a school play? I'm in shambles. Turns out there's no intermission during this three-hour Shakespeare adaptation, and I really need to go to the bathroom.

• 0:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 1:03Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 1:21Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:54Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 2:11Mae Martin?

  Pod chatting with friends on the handsome pod.

• 2:17Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty little episode.

• 2:20Fortune Feimster?

  Welcome to the pretty little episode handsome pod. It's your buddy Fortune Feimster here.

• 2:29Mae Martin?

  And your bud Mae Martin.

• 2:31Fortune Feimster?

  And we're having the best day ever because we're together.

• 2:36Mae Martin?

  That's all we need to make it through this life.

• 2:39Fortune Feimster?

  And we're gonna skip and jump and run over the rainbows.

• 2:45Mae Martin?

  Run through the meadows like you're my wife.

• 2:52Fortune Feimster?

  Like you're my wife.

• 2:55Mae Martin?

  That's it. There's not many meadows in LA. Like, isn't that kind of a British thing, a meadow?

• 3:00Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, there's a lot of meadows over there.

• 3:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:04Fortune Feimster?

  Across the pond.

• 3:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, across the pond is such an annoying phrase when you think about it.

• 3:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, right?

• 3:10Mae Martin?

  Across the pond.

• 3:11Fortune Feimster?

  Just a hop and a skip over to London town. Do you ever hear from any British folks, do they listen to the handsome pod?

• 3:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah, well, when I went on tour there with the music, there were tons of handsome t-shirts in the crowd.

• 3:26Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 3:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah, really, really. And of course Debbie came to the show.

• 3:31Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 3:32Mae Martin?

  But she doesn't listen to the pod, which I think is probably for the best.

• 3:35Fortune Feimster?

  That's for the best.

• 3:38Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, man.

• 3:39Mae Martin?

  Do you think there's anyone in Japan who listens to the pod?

• 3:43Fortune Feimster?

  You know what? This is a nice time for us to find out. If you live in Japan and you listen to the pod, let us know.

• 3:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, please let us know because I'll go there.

• 3:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I would love to go to Japan.

• 3:53Mae Martin?

  I'm desperate to actually because you know why Fortune?

• 3:56Fortune Feimster?

  Why?

• 3:56Mae Martin?

  I feel like this might intrigue you. You know, you know, cheese slices, like Kraft Singles?

• 4:02Fortune Feimster?

  I do know of these, yes.

• 4:03Mae Martin?

  Yes. So in Japan, apparently they have chocolate slices that are wrapped like cheese slices. And they're like kind of bendy like that. And they're like Kraft Singles, but chocolate.

• 4:13Fortune Feimster?

  Every person I've heard who's been to Japan says the food's amazing. And then even going into like their 7-Eleven, whatever that is, is like the food's so good and fresh and. It makes me so curious to go.

• 4:28Mae Martin?

  I know, and everyone says that the people are great and you got like the crazy city and then there's these beautiful mountains and like

• 4:37Fortune Feimster?

  Is it the cherry trees?

• 4:39Mae Martin?

  Oh, cherry blossoms.

• 4:40Fortune Feimster?

  Cherry blossoms, yeah.

• 4:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:42Fortune Feimster?

  Pictures of that, so beautiful.

• 4:45Mae Martin?

  Is it bad that I kind of judge people when they're like?

• 4:48Fortune Feimster?

  I just wanna see the cherry blossoms one time in Japan, one day. I'm like, okay, what about

• 4:54Mae Martin?

  other things though? Like?

• 4:55Fortune Feimster?

  That's it, just see those trees.

• 5:01Fortune Feimster?

  I love tree, I love trees in a weird way because when I was growing up, my grandmother was kind of my chauffeur when I was in elementary school and junior high. And her big thing was trees. And so we would be driving and she would always like point out different trees and like tell me what kind of trees they were. And when she, my friends would be in the car, like she'd take us to practice and she'd be like, there's a cherry, the cherry trees, or here's a pear tree, or all these different things. And, and so now I always notice trees because of her.

• 5:36Mae Martin?

  That's so nice. I really like that. You'll have that your whole life.

• 5:39Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:40Mae Martin?

  Cause so, I guess if you don't, if you forget to notice them, but once you start noticing them, you're like, oh, they're everywhere and they're so beautiful.

• 5:47Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm. My first house I bought, I bought because they had these two giant, beautiful trees and reminded me of my grandmother.

• 5:57Mae Martin?

  That's really nice.

• 5:58Fortune Feimster?

  And it ended up being like my, that will forever be my like, home in my heart.

• 6:04Mae Martin?

  Oh, that first home that you bought?

• 6:06Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 6:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I just saw a thing on Instagram. I guess I follow a lot of witches and who do spells. And I saw, I saw a thing on Instagram that was like, if someone's wronged you, just tell the trees and they will get revenge through their net.

• 6:21Fortune Feimster?

  The trees?

• 6:22Mae Martin?

  It was like whisper the name to a tree and then tell them injustice has been done. And then the tree will, through the network.

• 6:30Fortune Feimster?

  Talk to each other.

• 6:30Mae Martin?

  Yes. And it was like, just.

• 6:32Fortune Feimster?

  The trees network.

• 6:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:37Fortune Feimster?

  Never heard that, but I guess I don't, I don't think I follow any witches on Instagram. So maybe

• 6:44Mae Martin?

  That's your first mistake.

• 6:45Fortune Feimster?

  As part of it.

• 6:46Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 6:47Fortune Feimster?

  You follow a bunch of witches just because you are intrigued by that world.

• 6:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and really, I'm looking for shortcuts and I should be going to therapy twice a week.

• 6:58Fortune Feimster?

  What are the shortcuts, though?

• 6:59Mae Martin?

  Oh, spells.

• 7:00Fortune Feimster?

  If they could, if they could just make a spell, I'll get over this heartbreak or whatever it is.

• 7:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  Instead of like, let me do the work.

• 7:07Mae Martin?

  Yes, exactly. Like, for instance, I have this, I have four candles, yellow, white, black, and red. And then I follow this one witch who'll be like, oh, this is a spell for like stepping into your power. And it's like, light the red candle and say these words and write it down and fold the paper over. I know it's probably nothing, but there's also some power in like vocalizing out loud. Like, I think words are powerful and, uh, yeah, so I'm doing some spells sometimes. Not like love spells on people, but more like, like self-help spells, but I gotta, I gotta.

• 7:39Fortune Feimster?

  Healing yourself spells.

• 7:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, because we're powerful.

• 7:44Fortune Feimster?

  I know, we're powerful, but also guess what's powerful? Your mind.

• 7:48Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 7:48Fortune Feimster?

  They say mind over matter.

• 7:50Mae Martin?

  Well, I think I can.

• 7:52Fortune Feimster?

  Train your brain to do some powerful things, right?

• 7:55Mae Martin?

  Oh, totally. Yeah, we shape our realities.

• 7:59Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 7:59Mae Martin?

  Maybe I told you this already or said it on the pod, but sometimes I'll scroll past something and I just accept everything as like potentially true. And I, there was this picture of a horse and it was like this beautiful close up of the horse's eye. And it was like, every time you look in a horse's eye, you're looking into a mirror of the parts of you that need love the most. And I was like, huh, yeah. And then I scrolled and then I was like, wait a second, no, what? You're just looking at a horse. What do you mean?

• 8:27Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I do love that. You're just like, yeah, that's gotta be right.

• 8:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah, gotta be true. Said it on the picture.

• 8:33Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think I've looked a lot of horses in the eye, truth be told.

• 8:36Mae Martin?

  That's me neither.

• 8:37Fortune Feimster?

  God, Tik pointed that out and now.

• 8:40Mae Martin?

  Oh, truth be told.

• 8:41Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Fortune Feimster?

  I really didn't realize I said that as much as I do.

• 8:46Mae Martin?

  Oh. I never noticed till she said it either.

• 8:49Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but Tig's too observant.

• 8:51Mae Martin?

  Very observant and it'll come out right at the right moment.

• 8:56Fortune Feimster?

  I was scrolling through my TikTok the other day and someone had posted Tig's Taylor Dane story from This American Life.

• 9:04Mae Martin?

  Oh, it's so good.

• 9:05Fortune Feimster?

  And I just sat and watched. It was like a four part TikTok.

• 9:09Mae Martin?

  TikTok.

• 9:09Fortune Feimster?

  I just watched the whole thing.

• 9:11Mae Martin?

  Well, I just watched and shared the video of you and you and Ginger on stage talking about gay awakenings.

• 9:18Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 9:18Mae Martin?

  And her.

• 9:19Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, you did?

• 9:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:19Fortune Feimster?

  I don't think I was it.

• 9:20Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, it's so funny. Like, her comic timing.

• 9:24Fortune Feimster?

  She's very funny.

• 9:26Mae Martin?

  She gets the assignment and she's like.

• 9:28Fortune Feimster?

  And she loves the stage, loves attention.

• 9:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah. She was cracking me up. Her friend that wouldn't go to Brokeback Mountain with her because her hair is too short.

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  Her friend would not. Back in the day, she told the story where she wanted to go see Brokeback Mountain and her friend wouldn't go because people would think they were gay.

• 9:50Mae Martin?

  Because her hair was too short.

• 9:51Fortune Feimster?

  Because her hair was too short.

• 9:53Mae Martin?

  I love that.

• 9:55Fortune Feimster?

  I think that is the wildest thing I've ever heard.

• 9:58Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:00Mae Martin?

  Um, should we hear? Yeah, let's dive into some questions.

• 10:02Fortune Feimster?

  Let's get to some questions.

• 10:04Speaker 04

  Hello, handsome pod. My name is Zerdan and I am five years old.

• 10:10Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  And my question for you is, um, have you ever gotten in trouble at school before?

• 10:19Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God, that is so cute. That is the best. That's our first question from a five year old, for sure.

• 10:26Fortune Feimster?

  That was, that made my day.

• 10:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah, me too. Me too.

• 10:30Fortune Feimster?

  Just that little five year old voice.

• 10:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:32Fortune Feimster?

  I'm handsome, I have a question.

• 10:35Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 10:36Fortune Feimster?

  That's my five year old voice.

• 10:38Mae Martin?

  What a little dreamboat. Um, I'm scared that I can't share the, the things that I got in trouble for. Like, I want it to be.

• 10:46Fortune Feimster?

  You probably got in trouble quite a bit, right?

• 10:47Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 10:48Fortune Feimster?

  Let's just go with that first.

• 10:50Mae Martin?

  But I was never rude or loud or, but like, I just was, I wouldn't show up or I wouldn't do my homework.

• 10:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 10:57Mae Martin?

  Or, I mean, I had a crush on my grade six teacher, Ms. Garo.

• 11:01Fortune Feimster?

  Obviously.

• 11:02Mae Martin?

  I've been trying to find her ever since, Melanie Garo. Never found her. Anyway, she was an incredible teacher and, um, I had not done my homework nine times in a row.

• 11:11Fortune Feimster?

  Whoa.

• 11:12Mae Martin?

  And so she said I am, that she would, like, every time I didn't do the homework, I'd have to meet her after class to do the homework, like at lunch or whatever.

• 11:21Fortune Feimster?

  On purpose.

• 11:22Mae Martin?

  Well, then I was like, okay. And then, uh, cause I love hanging out with her.

• 11:26Fortune Feimster?

  Now we're talking some one on one time.

• 11:28Mae Martin?

  Exactly. And she would sometimes bring like a chocolate bar or something if I did good. Like, it was great. So, yeah, not doing homework was big. And then getting into shame spirals and a web of lies of being like, at one time I gaslit. Like, I was like, I did hand it in. I said, I put it in your hand. And the woman was like, no, you didn't. And I was like, I don't, I was like, I don't know what's going on here. You're, you have it in for me.

• 11:52Fortune Feimster?

  How old are you?

• 11:54Mae Martin?

  Thirteen.

• 11:55Fortune Feimster?

  Wow.

• 11:55Mae Martin?

  I was like, I literally put it in your hand. She was like, what are you talking about? But I think I stuck with it to the point that she was like, wait, when, like in the, when? In the hall? I guess maybe you could have.

• 12:08Fortune Feimster?

  You put that teacher in therapy.

• 12:09Mae Martin?

  That's fucked up.

• 12:10Fortune Feimster?

  Being like, cause that was before people really understood what gaslighting was.

• 12:14Mae Martin?

  I know, I would know.

• 12:15Fortune Feimster?

  She was like, I, this kid just, I know that, that this did not happen the way they're saying.

• 12:24Mae Martin?

  What, so what about you? You didn't?

• 12:26Fortune Feimster?

  I was so good. I was such a rule follower. I have been a rule follower my whole life.

• 12:35Mae Martin?

  Should we meet up and break a rule?

• 12:37Fortune Feimster?

  What's that?

• 12:38Mae Martin?

  We should meet up and just. Break some rules, even if it's little things. Jaywalk.

• 12:42Fortune Feimster?

  I don't even know if I can. I don't know if I have it in me. I, I mean, I did get in trouble at times. I would say if I ever got like a fussed at, it would have been for talking too much.

• 12:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 12:55Fortune Feimster?

  Um, or like trying to crack jokes. I think I did give a kid the middle finger when I was in first grade.

• 13:02Mae Martin?

  Whoa, in first grade? Oh, my God. Picture.

• 13:05Fortune Feimster?

  Cause I had two older brothers, so I would just like see things they did and not really realize what I was doing.

• 13:12Mae Martin?

  You at six flipping the bird to some other kid is so good. What do you think they did to piss you off?

• 13:18Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know, but that was wild.

• 13:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:21Fortune Feimster?

  When I was in high school, I used to flip my brothers off and, uh, and be like, Mom, Price gave me the bird. And she'd be like, Price? And I'd be like.

• 13:29Mae Martin?

  No way. And then you do it back when your mom was.

• 13:31Fortune Feimster?

  And I would be behind her flipping them off some more.

• 13:34Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 13:36Fortune Feimster?

  They did like cheeky stuff like that, but, um,

• 13:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:39Fortune Feimster?

  At school, I was very dialed in.

• 13:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:42Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, straight A, uh, straight A's for a long time.

• 13:46Mae Martin?

  You were there to learn.

• 13:46Fortune Feimster?

  Some Bs every now and then. Uh, perfect attendance. I had perfect attendance from seventh grade through, uh, till college.

• 13:56Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 13:57Fortune Feimster?

  And in college, I only missed two, um, I only missed two classes for like no reason. And then I had to miss some classes for tennis.

• 14:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 14:07Fortune Feimster?

  But I was such, I was such a good kid, student, all the things.

• 14:12Mae Martin?

  Holy. Perfect attendance is really hard to do. I was like, I remember being in elementary school and that, that school went all the way up to, to grade 13 or whatever. And, and I knew that like in grade seven, you were allowed to leave the premises for lunch, you know, within a two block radius and then come back and you'd get your like five bucks from your parents. And I was like, as soon as I am allowed to do that, like, you better believe them. I'm skipping class. I'm going further afield. I'm going to get on the subway and go downtown like.

• 14:45Fortune Feimster?

  I probably could have gotten in trouble at times in high school. Like I've talked about this before when I did the morning announcements.

• 14:53Mae Martin?

  Oh my god, the morning announcements.

• 14:55Fortune Feimster?

  How y'all gonna go to Mr. Smith's class at three o'clock? Make sure you have your chess boards if you wanna go do any chess stuff. But we would leave all the time to go to different restaurants around town to like grab breakfast. And like by all accounts, we should have gotten in trouble, but because I was such a good student and I was very charming. And all the teachers really loved me because I really love them.

• 15:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:20Fortune Feimster?

  Everyone was just like, huh.

• 15:22Mae Martin?

  Let her do it. Yeah, yeah.

• 15:24Fortune Feimster?

  What are we gonna say?

• 15:25Mae Martin?

  That's the way to hack the system and that's what I never understood and should have.

• 15:29Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I, I, all the, I was in tight with all the teachers.

• 15:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I should have done well enough.

• 15:34Fortune Feimster?

  When I, I would talk to them like we were all old friends.

• 15:38Mae Martin?

  Oh, I thought, I fully thought my teachers were my equals and friends.

• 15:47Fortune Feimster?

  My senior year, I was like, hey bud, what's up?

• 15:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:51Fortune Feimster?

  Cause I had, again, I had, my oldest brother was almost seven years older than me. So I was used to talking with older people. So I would just chat with my teachers when I was in high school. Like we were friends, like college friends.

• 16:04Mae Martin?

  You got to.

• 16:05Fortune Feimster?

  But I also, my senior year, we had like all these teachers that were like twenty-two.

• 16:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:10Fortune Feimster?

  And twenty-three. So they were fun. I was like, I wanna, I wanna be friends with these teachers.

• 16:15Mae Martin?

  Wait, I just realized that we get to hear the answer of this sweet little, okay, Zerden.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  And I accidentally ripped a Pete the Cat book.

• 16:27Mae Martin?

  Okay. Okay, listen, the key word there is accidentally. Like you should not get in trouble if it's an accident and.

• 16:34Fortune Feimster?

  See, Mary has the excuses ready.

• 16:36Mae Martin?

  No, seriously.

• 16:38Fortune Feimster?

  What, what was it? Cat book? Textbook? What was this?

• 16:41Mae Martin?

  Pete the Cat book.

• 16:43Fortune Feimster?

  Pete the Cat book?

• 16:45Mae Martin?

  I don't know what that is, but I'm gonna be looking into it.

• 16:47Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe the Pete the Cat book was accidentally ripped.

• 16:51Mae Martin?

  That's what it sounds like, but I don't think that you should have gotten in trouble. And I think that if anything, your enthusiasm for the book probably ripped it. And it's great to be enthusiastic about books.

• 17:03Fortune Feimster?

  It sure is. Sometimes the books get ripped.

• 17:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah, if I was your teacher, I'd go, huh, there's a learning moment here.

• 17:09Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm. Glad you're reading.

• 17:11Mae Martin?

  I'd say sometimes we love things so much that we hurt them by accident.

• 17:15Fortune Feimster?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:17Mae Martin?

  Should we hear another question?

• 17:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 17:19Speaker 05

  Hi, this is Lee from Black Mountain, North Carolina. My question is, if there was a sitcom about you, what would the title and the premise be?

• 17:30Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 17:31Fortune Feimster?

  Fellow North Carolinian, shout out. I was just in North Carolina, visiting my folks.

• 17:38Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah?

• 17:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that was nice. My parents have been divorced thirty years and I'll never not enjoy having, I had breakfast with the two of them and it is a treat.

• 17:49Mae Martin?

  Oh, man, that is nice. Yeah.

• 17:51Fortune Feimster?

  Um, a sitcom, based on your life?

• 17:54Mae Martin?

  Feel good.

• 17:56Fortune Feimster?

  I know, you're like, I've done it?

• 17:58Mae Martin?

  It would be called Feel Good and it'd be a comedy drama, for sure.

• 18:02Fortune Feimster?

  You came up on my TikTok, too.

• 18:04Mae Martin?

  I did?

• 18:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Feel Good, clips of Feel Good.

• 18:07Mae Martin?

  Oh, nice.

• 18:07Fortune Feimster?

  Your hair was so blonde.

• 18:09Mae Martin?

  It was so blonde and also my jeans were so skinny and my eyebrows were quite thin.

• 18:16Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't notice that about your eyebrows, but it is, I watched that whole series. Was that pandemic times?

• 18:22Mae Martin?

  It was, yeah, thanks, man.

• 18:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it was great.

• 18:25Mae Martin?

  What would yours be? Would it be a pun on Fortune? Sick. I like that she said sitcom. It's like, it's very like.

• 18:31Fortune Feimster?

  Mine's already been done. It's called The Golden Girls.

• 18:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:36Fortune Feimster?

  That would be my dream, though, when I'm like eighty, or I don't know how old they were, but seven, let's say seventy.

• 18:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:43Fortune Feimster?

  At that point, you're just like in caftans with your friends, eating cheesecake. That's not a bad life.

• 18:47Mae Martin?

  It's not bad. Yeah, I'd watch that sitcom.

• 18:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 18:51Mae Martin?

  So maybe it would be a pun, it would be like Wheel of Fortune or something, or something. Are you picking up Biggie right now, or just touching him?

• 18:58Fortune Feimster?

  This is Biggie. Yeah, he's being squirrely right now.

• 19:01Mae Martin?

  Oh, I saw you. He'd be in the show for sure. And you guys would have a theme song.

• 19:06Fortune Feimster?

  I'll get you some water. He's huffing and puffing in the mic. Say hi to everybody.

• 19:11Mae Martin?

  Can we hear him in the mic? Can we see if we hear that?

• 19:13Fortune Feimster?

  You can hear his licking his lips.

• 19:16Mae Martin?

  I can hear him panting.

• 19:18Fortune Feimster?

  I'll get you some water, baby bear.

• 19:21Mae Martin?

  Oh, my god.

• 19:23Fortune Feimster?

  Now, is it a sitcom that's already been done?

• 19:27Mae Martin?

  No, no.

• 19:28Fortune Feimster?

  What would the sitcom be?

• 19:30Mae Martin?

  What would it be? Like, mine might be like making it right, but it's spelled M-A-E. And the theme song's like, making it right, making it wrong. Sometimes you gotta just get along. And it's me like walking down the street. Yeah, what would yours be?

• 19:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Fortune would definitely have to be in the title.

• 19:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:51Fortune Feimster?

  Um, like my special, Good Fortune or something like that.

• 19:55Mae Martin?

  You're not gonna get a better name than that. That's a great name.

• 19:58Fortune Feimster?

  And, uh, and something about like my, you know, trying to be a good. But like, she's always quirky and just a hair off.

• 20:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:08Fortune Feimster?

  You know, like, um, kinda like Everybody Loves Raymond, but in that vein of like...

• 20:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and your parents would be characters in it.

• 20:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 20:18Mae Martin?

  You'd have a wacky neighbor.

• 20:19Fortune Feimster?

  Be based on my life. They're divorced, but friends and

• 20:22Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 20:22Fortune Feimster?

  They're really involved in my life too much and my mom's always like trying to give me advice and it's terrible advice and I'm like, Mom.

• 20:32Mae Martin?

  Your mom would get a round of applause from the studio audience every time she walked in.

• 20:36Fortune Feimster?

  She'd be a big character in this, in this series.

• 20:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:39Fortune Feimster?

  I actually sold a sitcom based on my life.

• 20:42Mae Martin?

  Did you?

• 20:43Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, loosely.

• 20:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:44Fortune Feimster?

  And we filmed it for ABC back in the day. It was called Family Fortune.

• 20:49Mae Martin?

  A pilot?

• 20:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it was a pilot. Tina Fey was the producer.

• 20:53Mae Martin?

  What?

• 20:54Fortune Feimster?

  With Robert Carlock, um, who, they did 30 Rock, you know, together and uh, it was really great. It was a great pilot. I co-wrote it with Matt Hubbard, also 30 Rock writer, and also created Loot. On Apple, that Maya Rudolph show, right?

• 21:10Mae Martin?

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:12Fortune Feimster?

  And, um, yeah, this was 2015 and I played a, um, I, I played a teacher, a PE teacher.

• 21:21Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 21:21Fortune Feimster?

  Who in the pilot episode comes out to her, uh, southern parents is gay. Um, Annie Potts played my mom.

• 21:29Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 21:30Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, from Designing Women. I know you and Tig were not.

• 21:34Mae Martin?

  I don't know, but.

• 21:35Fortune Feimster?

  Folks, uh, this amazing actor, John Carroll Lynch, played my dad. It was such a fun, I mean, I'm biased, but I thought it was such a fun show, um.

• 21:47Mae Martin?

  Where can I watch this? Do you have it still?

• 21:49Fortune Feimster?

  No one, it will never see the light of day. We filmed it. It was great, but they did not pick it up.

• 21:54Mae Martin?

  Can we have a secret screening of it?

• 21:56Fortune Feimster?

  I probably have a DVD of it somewhere. I'll have to find it.

• 22:00Mae Martin?

  A DVD?

• 22:01Fortune Feimster?

  But, you know, it's sitcom-y, so there's like funny.

• 22:04Mae Martin?

  I love a sitcom.

• 22:05Fortune Feimster?

  There's funny jokes, but it's also got that like want, want kind of feeling too, but.

• 22:09Mae Martin?

  I like that.

• 22:10Fortune Feimster?

  Just Annie Potts playing my mom was like unbelievable. Her name was Ginger and everything.

• 22:16Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 22:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 22:17Mae Martin?

  One thing I love is, um, the comeback with Lisa Kudrow.

• 22:21Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:22Mae Martin?

  I, I just love the way they parody sitcoms and like she is a, an ex sitcom star who gets a part on another sitcom. They do all that thing of like the studio audience laughing.

• 22:35Fortune Feimster?

  I'm developing stuff all the time, but I've been thinking about taking another swing at a life story. You know, loosely based. It's not, it's, it's very made up as well.

• 22:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:45Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but it would be more in the vein of like a dramedy now.

• 22:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I think that's, I think there's an appetite for that now. People want.

• 22:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 22:54Mae Martin?

  A sprinkling of trauma in there.

• 22:57Fortune Feimster?

  Well, I think they, I think they more want things to feel real.

• 23:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, people are craving like authenticity, I think, yeah.

• 23:05Fortune Feimster?

  Exactly.

• 23:06Mae Martin?

  Should we hear Lee's answer?

• 23:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 23:08Speaker 05

  The answer to my question is, the title to my sitcom would be Say What? And the premise would be every episode I have some weird, awkward, or inappropriate exchange with a family member or a friend.

• 23:24Fortune Feimster?

  Say what?

• 23:24Mae Martin?

  Say what?

• 23:26Fortune Feimster?

  I love it.

• 23:27Mae Martin?

  Do you remember, um, is it Best in Show or one of those movies where Fred Willard has a catchphrase that's, "What happened?"

• 23:34Fortune Feimster?

  What hap- oh, yeah. It was one of those Christopher Guest movies.

• 23:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:39Fortune Feimster?

  What happened?

• 23:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, what happened?

• 23:41Fortune Feimster?

  A mighty wind, maybe?

• 23:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, maybe it was a mighty wind.

• 23:43Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 23:44Mae Martin?

  Amazing.

• 23:45Fortune Feimster?

  God, Best in Show is so good.

• 23:47Mae Martin?

  They, all those movies hold up so well.

• 23:48Fortune Feimster?

  I gotta go back and watch that movie again.

• 23:51Mae Martin?

  It's so genius. I'm waiting for Guffman is for me. Yeah, well, I was just watching The Last of Us last night and Catherine O'Hara is amazing in it.

• 23:59Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah.

• 24:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:01Fortune Feimster?

  And Bella, who was asked the question of the handsome pod?

• 24:04Mae Martin?

  Yes. Oh, yeah. Bella asked like about tin-

• 24:07Fortune Feimster?

  Early, early days.

• 24:09Mae Martin?

  Biting tinfoil or something? It was like, would you rather bite tinfoil or?

• 24:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 24:14Mae Martin?

  Um, all right, well, this has been a, a, a true joy.

• 24:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, it has, May. If you, uh, wanna ask us any questions, you never know which pair of us you'll get. Um, and that's the fun of it, but we'd love to hear from you. You can, uh, go to speakpipe.com/handsome, ask any question you want. You could also ask for advice, pretty good at that, too. And, uh, yeah, we just love hearing from you guys and love what this brings up for us, cause we never know what's gonna be asked.

• 24:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:45Fortune Feimster?

  It's a little jaunt down memory lane sometimes, and then other times I go, I never thought about that.

• 24:51Mae Martin?

  Hmm. Yeah.

• 24:52Fortune Feimster?

  Interesting.

• 24:52Mae Martin?

  I mean, now I'm gonna be Googling Pete the Cat.

• 24:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Pete the Cat.

• 24:56Mae Martin?

  But yeah, spread the word, send your questions. And until then.

• 25:01Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it.

• 25:01Mae Martin?

  Keep it.

• 25:02Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty handsome.

• 25:04Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media, at HandsomePod.

• 25:20Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!

• 25:26Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.