Jon Lovitz Knows Bobby’s Horrible in Bed

The one and only Jon Lovitz joins us. Jared Goldstein tries to seduce him. We talk tiny dick bits, bipolar alcoholics, Hollywood bombs, Katherine Hepburn, the SNL cast, scissoring, and Happy Gilmore 2. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to www.joinbilt.com/belly. https://www.joinbilt.com/belly That’s www.joinbilt.com/belly https://www.joinbilt.com/belly. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you: www.joinbilt.com/belly https://www.joinbilt.com/belly to sign up for Bilt today. That’s www.helixsleep.com/belly https://www.helixsleep.com/belly for 27% Off Sitewide. Exclusive for listeners of TigerBelly. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:59Speaker 01

  Be the Helix here for your sleep. Baby, watch your sleep, babe. Hey, Helix. For your sleep. Helix.

• 1:09Bobby Lee?

  Anyway, Helix, man, I, my sleep has improved dramatically since I've been sleeping on a Helix mattress. Um, improvements, A-OK, number one. Has your Helix mattress upgraded your bedroom home? Yes, it has. Every room in my house is elevated to a beautiful, comfortable sleeping place. For one, human beings and other, um, living beings can sleep on, you know? Um, you can personalize it, can you not?

• 1:32Speaker 03

  You can. So for instance, me, like, I'm a hot sleeper, but I also like to sleep on my side. So I got matched with a Helix Midnight mattress. And then I'm like, you know what? I wanna, I wanna upgrade a little bit, and I got the luxe version of that. So I sleep like a baby.

• 1:45Speaker 04

  The happy with Helix guarantee, rest easy with seamless returns and exchange and 120-night sleep trial. Is it award-winning? It is award-winning. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired.

• 2:02Speaker 00

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• 2:29Speaker 05

  You wanna hear Bobby playing piano?

• 2:55Speaker 06

  You wanna hear Bobby playing piano?

• 3:00Speaker 06

  Oh my god, that's gorgeous.

• 3:15Bobby Lee?

  What? What's wrong?

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Doing that, having a keyboard at my podcast.

• 3:21Bobby Lee?

  Wait, you were thinking about doing it?

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Just like you were.

• 3:24Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you haven't done it yet?

• 3:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 3:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  I'm doing it with Charlotte McKinney.

• 3:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she's very pretty.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Is your-

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Are we starting this?

• 3:33Bobby Lee?

  It's already started, yeah. You wanna start over?

• 3:37Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck is your problem? Do you wanna start over or what?

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:39Bobby Lee?

  Your energy, your-

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Started.

• 3:40Bobby Lee?

  No, but your energy already is fucked.

• 3:45Speaker 01

  You're a dead man, Bobby Lee.

• 3:48Bobby Lee?

  I'm a dead man.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  I didn't know we started. You didn't say anything.

• 3:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's, okay, I'll just song over.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  You wanna wear headphones? I guess so.

• 3:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  That doesn't mean you started.

• 3:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  Apparently it does.

• 4:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, can you talk more into the mic? You're a professional. You're a pro- professional.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I didn't know we started.

• 4:09Speaker 06

  It is fun to negotiate with this.

• 4:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, very cool.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  I looked at you and I thought you was like falling asleep.

• 4:18Bobby Lee?

  Take the ghost away?

• 4:19Speaker 01

  When are we starting?

• 4:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that an Asian reference, the falling asleep thing?

• 4:24Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  How can you tell when Joe Coy is sleepy? You can't!

• 4:33Bobby Lee?

  Exactly, dude. So I wanna say to you, John-

• 4:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 4:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, hi.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Hello, Bob.

• 4:44Bobby Lee?

  Hi. So, John, um, over the years, you've been so kind to me.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, right?

• 4:50Bobby Lee?

  You have. You've been so nice to me. Even, up to the last 20 years, you've been so nice to me. And I, and I, I can't, I couldn't believe that you hadn't done my podcast yet. So I, you know, I, I got your number through spade. And now here, here, here you are.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  I didn't know you had one. You know, there's very, then I-

• 5:10Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 5:10Speaker 01

  No, and then I, the, no, the only thing I saw was, uh, which is famous, you with, uh, uh, Brian.

• 5:19Bobby Lee?

  Callan?

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Callan, yeah.

• 5:21Bobby Lee?

  About what?

• 5:22Speaker 01

  About that guy, um, molesting you when you were eight.

• 5:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I was thinking about that.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  And I like-

• 5:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Well, what had, did he, did you go to his house?

• 5:33Bobby Lee?

  Well, no, it was like a shack.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, so you went to the shack?

• 5:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  So, the question is, after the first time it happened-

• 5:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Why did you keep going back to the shack?

• 5:43Bobby Lee?

  Because of the candy. My parents didn't give me candy. You like candy? Some candy is irresistible. It's like blood diamonds.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  I'm not you. I'm not falling for that one.

• 5:58Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean? You think I'm gonna offer you candy and then molest you?

• 6:00Speaker 01

  You just did.

• 6:02Bobby Lee?

  No, no, no. I would never molest you, John.

• 6:07Bobby Lee?

  Right, yeah. What? Good. Good, right?

• 6:09Speaker 01

  Did you-

• 6:09Bobby Lee?

  Let's get that out there.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  Did you hear about the-

• 6:11Bobby Lee?

  I feel better.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  The Jewish pedophile?

• 6:14Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Little girl, wanna buy some candy?

• 6:16Bobby Lee?

  No. Go on.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  That's the joke.

• 6:22Bobby Lee?

  That is, oh, that is a funny joke. Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  Buy.

• 6:26Bobby Lee?

  Little girl, you wanna buy some candy?

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:29Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Bob, you wanna introduce the room? Everyone here? Jared Goldstein, he's a comic. I am. Um, he's half Asian. I am. Yeah, he's very funny.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  With, like, from the waist up?

• 6:39Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I'm gonna molest you. Get ready. Yeah. We've got a hu- some guy from the-

• 6:45Speaker 01

  He's half Asian. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought he was a person.

• 6:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh my god. I'm not molesting you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  I just see people, but you, you know what you see?

• 6:59Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 7:00Speaker 01

  I'm Asian.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, letterbox, I see everything in letterbox. Practically blind. Yeah. Yours is IMAX, mine's letterbox. You know what's funny is when you're, you know, a kid, like you were eight, you know, you don't know, I used to think that. You don't know what? Well, you don't know anything. I know. There was a kid in my, in seventh grade, and he was like, I go, why are you so tan? You know, and he wasn't a black kid. He was dark, really dark as a black. Yeah. I go, I don't, I didn't understand, I was 12, I didn't understand, and he goes, well, my mother, my mother left me in the sun, in the sun when I was a baby. Wow. But now that I think back on it, he was probably, you know, from India.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  His parents, I didn't know. Or I thought, I thought that they looked out, and they'd see the inside of their eyelids, like, and they couldn't see. Cause their eyes were half down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's when you're a kid. Yeah, as a kid. I know it's.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  We have. No, but you know what I mean? The myth that people think. Yeah. I know a guy, uh, he, actually, the actress Elizabeth Berkley, her brother, told me, anyway, she's Jewish, you know. Yeah. Anyway, he went to college as a Jew-ish. But anyway, he went to Northwestern University, so he gets there, and his roommate, he goes, I've never seen a Jewish guy before, he goes, oh, and he goes, where are your horns?

• 8:33Speaker 01

  He goes, what? Yeah, where are your horns? Yeah. And he wasn't kidding. Wow. The ignorance. Did you cry? Did I cry? Yeah. No, it's so stupid that people, but people, they, there's just all these myths about people. I know. They're all a bunch of. Like the little dick thing with the Asians.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  You have only yourself to blame for that one. I saw you on stage in my comedy club. And you were hilarious, but you were doing jokes about that yourself, about yourself.

• 9:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perpetuate that.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  And it was, I was crying laughing.

• 9:08Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  You were just being masping.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Remember?

• 9:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  I was, oh my god.

• 9:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, thank you so much.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, very nice.

• 9:17Speaker 01

  There's not a lot of comedians that are like actually funny.

• 9:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, do you really believe that?

• 9:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:22Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  They say funny things, but are they funny people?

• 9:26Bobby Lee?

  Intrinsicly funny people.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's not a lot.

• 9:30Bobby Lee?

  You know, stuff like that.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, goofy stuff. You know?

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Right.

• 9:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  That's a comedian.

• 9:38Bobby Lee?

  Like Jaime right here is a Mexican comic.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Not that you're not.

• 9:41Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I've tried to.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Not that you guys aren't, I'm just saying that you're really. I've always been, I'm a big fan because you're genuinely funny.

• 9:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, thank you so much.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Funny.

• 9:51Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  You're just funny.

• 9:52Bobby Lee?

  You're funny too.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  I know.

• 9:53Bobby Lee?

  This is Jaime, he's from, he's from Texas. He's almost in Mexico. He's also Mexican in, you know, in terms of his heritage.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Mexican Jew.

• 10:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:01Speaker 01

  Jaime.

• 10:02Bobby Lee?

  Are you Jewish?

• 10:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Jared's Jewish as well, Goldstein is his last name.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  Are you?

• 10:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. I am. Yeah. Also, I loved your episode of Friends.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  Two against, three against one, how do you feel?

• 10:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 10:16Bobby Lee?

  Give him the compliment again? I loved your episode of Friends.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  And I loved your little Nicky.

• 10:26Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you. Well, thanks, fellas.

• 10:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I mean, what a career you've had.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know, I'm just trying to keep it going.

• 10:35Bobby Lee?

  But why?

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Why? Because it's fun.

• 10:39Bobby Lee?

  I know, but what I'm saying.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Plus you get in that mode of like, oh, if I do this, then I'll get this. And instead of, and then you go, can I just enjoy what I'm doing?

• 10:48Bobby Lee?

  Yes, but you've already gotten it all.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  But it never feels like it.

• 10:53Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you have. You won the lottery already.

• 10:55Speaker 01

  Not in my mind.

• 10:56Bobby Lee?

  I know, and that's the thing I struggle with. It's like, what's my next thing? You know what I mean? Oh, I gotta get this to.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, it helps to go like, yeah, you've succeeded, but you, but that doesn't mean then you want to quit.

• 11:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  It's not like an athlete, they would keep playing if they, but their body breaks down, otherwise they wouldn't quit.

• 11:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  It's fun, you know?

• 11:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, it's fun. Are you doing a lot of stand up on the road?

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Yes, I am. I started doing it, um.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  Is better.

• 11:24Bobby Lee?

  Huh?

• 11:24Speaker 01

  I started doing it when I was talking to Mike.

• 11:28Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  Twenty-one years ago.

• 11:30Bobby Lee?

  Yes, you have.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  At the Laugh Factory.

• 11:31Bobby Lee?

  I remember. Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm going back east for a week and doing shows in theater. I'm gonna, and I'm gonna be starting to do some shows with Andrew Dice Clay.

• 11:41Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that'd be fun.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  It was his idea.

• 11:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well, how, how do you feel about Andrew? Do you like him?

• 11:48Speaker 01

  I like him very much. He's very, um, you know, he says it probably, but on sta-, you know, it's a, he's from Brooklyn and everything, but the Dice is, you know him.

• 11:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  It's a, it's a character. It's, he's, he's, ironically, people got mad at him for it. And he's like, but I'm making fun of people like that.

• 12:08Bobby Lee?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  And he's, yeah, he's a very nice guy.

• 12:12Bobby Lee?

  And Andrew as a person is the nicest guy. Very nice.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and he's, he loves to talk.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  And the more, yeah.

• 12:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  He's funny.

• 12:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  If you go on his Instagram, and mind, we've been doing some, uh, stuff together and it's really funny.

• 12:28Bobby Lee?

  Well, see, that's what got me going about you doing this is because I saw clips with you and Andrew.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  It's his idea.

• 12:35Bobby Lee?

  It was very combative as well.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:37Bobby Lee?

  I like the combativeness, so I thought to myself, I'm gonna get John on, you know what I mean? But you're not really that combative with me, because there's a different kind of relationships here.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  I can be if you'd like.

• 12:47Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't, no, I don't. I like the nice John. You know, you've always been nice and, and warm and tender. When you fucked, is it soft?

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Okay, good. You know, I'm kinda glad you said that.

• 13:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Because I wanted to get back to the candy.

• 13:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  First of all, that was one of the funniest things ever.

• 13:07Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  But I thought about it.

• 13:09Bobby Lee?

  Uh-huh.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  And I go, why would you keep going back? You could have said, no.

• 13:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  I'm not going to the shack. And then the, and then the kid was, how old was he?

• 13:18Bobby Lee?

  I don't remember, maybe in his thirties?

• 13:20Speaker 01

  In his thirty?

• 13:21Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  So you like older men?

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Is that the point?

• 13:29Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Am I missing the point?

• 13:31Bobby Lee?

  No, you're not missing the... Here's what happened.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  And you keep going back.

• 13:34Bobby Lee?

  I know, but, I know, but, but John, alright?

• 13:38Speaker 01

  At no point did you go, "Ow, ow."

• 13:42Bobby Lee?

  I know, John.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Ow!

• 13:44Bobby Lee?

  What I'm gonna say to you is, the coming back thing was the joke part of it.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  The come on the back?

• 13:49Bobby Lee?

  No, no, not the come on the back. I never said come on the back.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  You just said the coming?

• 13:52Bobby Lee?

  No, I know, going back to him, seeing him, I saw him one time and it happened, but in the, in the podcast, I made it seem like I went every day for a summer for the joke.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Oh, so you were joking?

• 14:04Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Oh, so it did-

• 14:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's like, every day after school, I was like, "I'm gonna go to..."

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Oh, 'cause it seemed like you were serious?

• 14:12Bobby Lee?

  No, yeah, yeah.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  And it was one of the funniest?

• 14:14Bobby Lee?

  It, yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  It's still one of the funniest things ever.

• 14:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Steve Harvey liked it, you know, when I ran into him, he likes-

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Well, the one you go, "I was brutally molested."

• 14:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, every day.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Adding-

• 14:24Bobby Lee?

  Adding information.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Stop!

• 14:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  "Don't laugh," and then, of course, you'd bring everything you can-

• 14:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, sure, it's the magic of, uh, podcasting, I guess.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  So it happened once?

• 14:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, one time. Were you ever molested, John?

• 14:37Speaker 01

  No.

• 14:38Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 14:40Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 14:41Speaker 01

  I don't know, I wasn't cute enough.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  I'll molest you. That's the part-

• 14:53Bobby Lee?

  Johnny, you see it?

• 14:54Speaker 01

  I like girls, I just, I just don't understand, like-

• 14:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  You know, the, the sixteen, seventeen-year-old guys in college, and they have some hot teacher, and he's at, they're having sex-

• 15:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:05Speaker 01

  And they arrest the teacher.

• 15:06Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  You know that that guy is high-f, all of his friends-

• 15:10Bobby Lee?

  I know!

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Are high-fiving him.

• 15:11Bobby Lee?

  I'd be loving it.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  He goes, "It was the best time of my li-" Are you damaged? He goes, "What? Damaged? What are you kidding me?"

• 15:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  "I, I, it was, it was fa-" "It was the best time of my life."

• 15:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  "Did she take advantage of you?" "No."

• 15:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  "No, I wanted-"

• 15:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  "I guarantee-"

• 15:29Bobby Lee?

  I gave her an apple.

• 15:31Speaker 01

  None of them, they're all like, oh.

• 15:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. John, are you seeing it?

• 15:36Speaker 01

  I mean, I get that it's wrong for the adult. Am I seeing anyone? No.

• 15:39Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Why?

• 15:41Bobby Lee?

  Because I've seen you with, you know, beautiful women in the past.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 15:45Bobby Lee?

  Yes. Are you taking a break from?

• 15:48Speaker 01

  I take a little break, yeah. It was just never working out. It was just too, uh...

• 15:53Bobby Lee?

  Selfish?

• 15:53Speaker 01

  It was just too upsetting.

• 15:55Bobby Lee?

  What was upsetting about it?

• 15:57Speaker 01

  That it wasn't working out.

• 15:58Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see. What do you think the problem is, John?

• 16:02Bobby Lee?

  You think it's her?

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, right.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Okay, the last one. Let's see. What was the problem? I'm messy, she's a bipolar alcoholic. No, I think it was me.

• 16:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 16:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Maybe you choose different.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  I try.

• 16:22Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean? Go to church?

• 16:23Speaker 01

  No, I, I... Go to church?

• 16:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Oh, really? And what church? What, you mean, what religion? You talking about Catholic?

• 16:33Bobby Lee?

  No, Christian.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Christian?

• 16:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  You talking about Jesus Christ?

• 16:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 16:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay. I know you people kill them, but...

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Okay, first of all, do you, do you want to be like Jesus? Well, then, maybe you should go to temple, because he was Jewish.

• 16:50Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  And when he was 13, he had a bar mitzvah. They go, "We don't know what happened to him after he was 12." Well, okay, let me explain something to you. If he, if he was a rabbi, which he was...

• 17:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Which means teacher.

• 17:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  The only way you can be a rabbi is you have to have a bar mitzvah. So they cut that part out. So when he was 13, that's when you have a bar mitzvah.

• 17:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  So if you really want to be like him, you should be, you should be Jewish.

• 17:14Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm just saying, go to a church.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  You're in a theological discussion.

• 17:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I don't want to get into a theological discussion. What I'm saying, asking you...

• 17:20Speaker 01

  You're the one who's...

• 17:21Bobby Lee?

  Because there's a lot of single women in church.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  He always like this. He brings something up and then goes, "Well, I wasn't talking about it."

• 17:29Speaker 01

  That is true.

• 17:30Bobby Lee?

  What I'm saying to you, John, is that there's a lot of single women at church, and they're good girls. Right? And maybe you could like, maybe lie and go, "I'm not Jewish."

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Oh, you're like the Wedding Crashers. Be like a church crasher.

• 17:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, church crashers.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  That's a movie. Let's do it. You got the money from this podcast?

• 17:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Get the financing.

• 17:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Let, let's talk about what you're looking for in a, in a woman. Can we do that?

• 18:02Bobby Lee?

  Built. Built. Built. B-I-L-T. Built. Built, guys. Dude. What? Are you wasting money on rent, dude? Yeah. Exactly, dude. There's no cost to join Bilt, my friend. I'll tell you what it is. What is it? In just paying rent, you unlock flexible points that can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines at future rent payment and your next Lyft ride and more. See, basically, what you're doing is you're not just, the money's not going wasting away into rent. You get like perks. Like what? Well, when you pay rent through Bilt, you unlock two powerful benefits. Ooh. The first one, you earn one of the industry's most valuable points on rent every month.

• 18:46Bobby Lee?

  No matter where you live or who your landlord is, your rent now works for you. Wow. You know the second one? You gain access to exclusive neighborhood benefits in your city. Yeah, exactly. Built's neighborhood benefits are things like extra points on dining out. What else? Comfortable post-workout shakes. Free mats or towels at your favorite fitness studios. And what else? Unique experiences that only Bilt members can access. So, you work for Bilt, you know everything, right? Yeah. So if you're not earning points on rent, my question is, what are you waiting for?

• 19:17Speaker 00

  Right, and when you're ready to travel, Bilt points can be converted to your favorite miles and hotel points around the world, meaning your rent can literally take you places. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your neighborhood benefits by going to joinbilt.com/belly. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com/belly. Make sure you use our URL so they know that we sent you. joinbilt.com/belly to sign up for Bilt today.

• 19:49Bobby Lee?

  Felix sleep, Felix sleep on your back.

• 19:57Bobby Lee?

  Helix Sleeps, Helix Sleeps On Your Back. If you don't have a Helix mattress in your house right now, I don't know what you're doing.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 20:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay, let me say something to you, right, alright? Remember in Braveheart at the end?

• 20:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:14Bobby Lee?

  When he's on that slab? Most people sleep like that, right?

• 20:18Speaker 00

  Most people?

• 20:19Bobby Lee?

  Most people, but I don't. You know what I'd sleep like? A fairy in a cloud.

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 20:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You wanna sleep like a fairy in a cloud?

• 20:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, I do.

• 20:27Bobby Lee?

  You get, they get, fairies get the deepest sleeps. No bags over their eyes. Have you ever seen a fairy?

• 20:31Speaker 00

  Nope.

• 20:31Bobby Lee?

  Right, so, um, I'll tell you why I wanted to partner with Helix.

• 20:36Speaker 00

  Why?

• 20:36Bobby Lee?

  And I'll tell you why. Because I have physical

• 20:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:41Bobby Lee?

  Helix Sleep mattresses in my house. I have, people spend the night, they all say, "Whoa, what kind of mattress is that?" And they go, "Are you a fairy?" And they go, "Twee, twee, twee." We are, right?

• 20:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:54Bobby Lee?

  So in my spare room, I have the Midnight mattress.

• 20:56Speaker 00

  The best.

• 20:57Bobby Lee?

  And sometimes I'll switch to my main bed, bed, bed, to go to the Midnight.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 21:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so I can get the deepest kind.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 21:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 21:03Speaker 00

  Oh, so you wake up in the middle of the night to switch to a different bed?

• 21:06Bobby Lee?

  Sometimes I do, because I wanna experience every sleep, um, experiences.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 21:12Bobby Lee?

  Right?

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, twice a night.

• 21:13Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, twi- sometimes three times.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  Three times?

• 21:16Bobby Lee?

  You know how hobbits have a second breakfast?

• 21:18Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 21:18Bobby Lee?

  I get a second sleep, dude. Okay?

• 21:21Speaker 00

  Go to helixsleep.com/belly for a 4th of July sale, best of web offer, June 13th through, uh, June 13th through July 31st, 25%, 27% off site-wide, exclusive for listeners of Tiger Belly. Once again, that's helixsleep.com/belly for that offer. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout, so they know we sent you. Once again, that's 20%, that's 27% off site-wide, exclusive for listeners of Tiger Belly.

• 21:51Speaker 00

  Helixsleep.com/belly.

• 22:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, let's talk about what you're looking for in a woman. Can we do that?

• 22:08Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 22:09Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so she needs to be-

• 22:10Speaker 01

  Well, it doesn't exist. Not in my life, not in LA. Uh, sane.

• 22:14Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 22:15Speaker 01

  They forget that.

• 22:16Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Uh, nice, funny, and sexy.

• 22:20Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 22:21Speaker 00

  I'm sitting right here.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Oh, Lord.

• 22:28Bobby Lee?

  He is all those things. He just happens to have a penis. Who cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Penis schminus. Yeah.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Are you, like, are you planning on, like, are you gonna be a ladyboy?

• 22:41Bobby Lee?

  For you. Yeah, yeah. Would you ever be a ladyboy, just for Halloween or whatever? I'd go to Thailand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:49Bobby Lee?

  What's wrong? Are you uncomfortable?

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 22:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. He's just joking, he's a comic, you know what I mean? He's not really hitting on you, John.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the ticket.

• 23:01Bobby Lee?

  That's the ticket, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're looking for a nice, funny, not sane, and hot?

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Huh.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  I think they're in the south, like Nashville.

• 23:12Bobby Lee?

  That's right. Oh, yeah. Yes.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  Or they're not.

• 23:14Bobby Lee?

  I think they're in Ohio. Ohio? The Midwest.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Not in Los Angeles, because the, all the women here come here to get famous.

• 23:21Bobby Lee?

  Right. Whores. Yeah, whores.

• 23:25Speaker 01

  Well, do you wanna hear a funny story?

• 23:26Bobby Lee?

  We love stories.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  So I'm in the, I, I, I've been playing tennis since I'm eight. So, uh, I was lending a pick called, uh, Stepmother's Nailing with, uh, Dan Aykroyd and Kim Basinger, and I was on Saturday Night Live at the time. I didn't have my place in Los Angeles, so I was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Great producer Jerry Weintraub, legendary producer.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  Well, anyway, I wanted to play tennis. So the teacher there was Wimbledon champion Alex Olmato, and marvelous man from Peru, and we became very close friends, like a father figure. Anyway, so he was at the, I was there for the, like, twelve weeks doing this movie, and, um, so we became very close. So Alex would tell me stories about, at the Beverly Hills Hotel, like, he used to play tennis with Katherine Hepburn and all the movie stars. So he told me a story where,

• 24:21Speaker 01

  he said this nineteen-year-old girl came by the tennis court, and he just finished his lesson with Katherine Hepburn, and, um, she came by to, I guess, book a lesson, and he goes, she was very pretty in her dress and nineteen, and about nineteen years old.

• 24:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  And I guess Katherine Hepburn said, what do you do? She goes, I wanna be an ac- an actress, do you have any advice? And he said Katherine Hepburn, like, yelled at her, goes, "Yeah, don't be a whore, learn how to act."

• 24:49Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow.

• 24:52Bobby Lee?

  You're the girl.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  And now you're the girl.

• 24:55Bobby Lee?

  You're the girl.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Who was that nineteen year old girl?

• 24:58Bobby Lee?

  Wow, wow. That's an interesting story.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  Well, you know, most of the people, they, they say they want to act and stuff. I realized early, I, I, I grew up here in the valley here, you know?

• 25:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I know you did. You're a Groundlings guy too?

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 25:11Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  And, uh... John Melrose?

• 25:14Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Yes, I was, I've done kind of everything and, um...

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, Lynn Stewart, who was Miss Yvonne Peewee Herman, uh, I don't know if you remember, the prettiest lady in Puppetland. She sadly passed away.

• 25:27Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  I did a memorial for her yesterday.

• 25:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, no. Go ahead.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Anyway. You would have loved her. But anyway.

• 25:37Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  Um... What the hell? Anyway, I realized quickly that most of the people that say they come here to want to act, they, or be a comedian, whatever, they don't want to do the work. They just want to, I don't know what they do. Yeah, and, or hang out at Starbucks.

• 25:52Bobby Lee?

  I don't know if I want to be famous. Uh, you know, I could be. Yeah.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, really? So it's, oh, it's up to you. You're just choosing to be in Starbucks instead of on the set making twenty million. You have that power. That's pretty amazing. So, so, um... You go, what are you doing for your career? Um, you know, are you in acting class? No, man, this town's film. Either have it or you don't. You know, are you doing any plays? No, it's film, is, you know?

• 26:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Theater? No. I go, so what are you doing for your career? I'm doing it. I'm, I'm hanging in Starbucks and drinking my latte.

• 26:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Well, good, good luck to you, you...

• 26:28Bobby Lee?

  You loser.

• 26:28Speaker 01

  Delusional fuck.

• 26:29Bobby Lee?

  Fucking cock.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  Idiot. They don't do the work, you know?

• 26:32Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  And so your competition is ten percent of the people that come here. But those ten percent, as you see, work their ass off.

• 26:40Bobby Lee?

  Well, you, you, you have to, it's a competition.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Well, you have to, you have to keep getting better.

• 26:45Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 26:45Bobby Lee?

  So I...

• 26:46Speaker 01

  And that's also why I keep doing it. I enjoy getting better.

• 26:49Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 26:49Speaker 01

  And I'm doing stuff now. I didn't know anything when I started. I didn't know how, I just knew I wanted to be an actor and I li, I did plays in high school.

• 26:56Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Here, I went to Harvard High School and they, they had an all-girls school, Argyle. And I did a play in 11th grade, The Man Who Came to Dinner, and I had three parts. And I came out on stage and, and I was like the third lead. So everyone's applauding, then I came out and the crescendo and the applause was crazy.

• 27:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  So I get to college and my teacher goes, what, acting class, right? I'm all excited, he goes, alright, I wanna go in the room and ask everybody why they wanna be an actor.

• 27:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:24Speaker 01

  So then they go, well, you know, for the art and.

• 27:27Bobby Lee?

  Let's do that now. You go for, we're all actors and we'll come to you.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  I'll tell you what I saw.

• 27:31Bobby Lee?

  Alright, so go ahead. Yeah, why would you like, you be the teacher Gilbert.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 27:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go to Jared.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Oh, that's my junior year.

• 27:37Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  You look like Jared.

• 27:41Bobby Lee?

  You're the same guy. What the fuck, Jared's your son.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Well, that's right, man.

• 27:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  1974.

• 27:49Bobby Lee?

  Wow, alright, so ask Gilbert.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  Everyone had long hair.

• 27:52Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 27:53Bobby Lee?

  Be an actor, like an actor studio kind of actor.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  Alright, Jared, what do you want to be?

• 27:59Speaker 06

  I just wanna go to Starbucks and get a latte and be famous.

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Oh, okay, Bobby?

• 28:05Bobby Lee?

  I wanna, um, what was the question? Why do I wanna become an actor?

• 28:09Speaker 04

  Why do you wanna be an actor?

• 28:10Bobby Lee?

  I wanna because of the craft.

• 28:12Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 28:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I like to sink into characters and know the motivation. And also I like conflict. I mean, I also like levity. And I like expressing myself through my own trauma through the work of acting.

• 28:25Speaker 04

  That's an artist right there.

• 28:26Bobby Lee?

  Thank you so much.

• 28:27Speaker 04

  Uh, Mexican? Yes, I have a name.

• 28:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, what's your?

• 28:31Speaker 04

  What's your name? My name? Danny, my name is Danny Crane. Ah, me llamo Gilbert. Why do you want to be an actor? Well, my dad's Danny Crane. Okay, uh, Mr. John, John Lovitz?

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 28:47Speaker 04

  Why do you want to be an actor?

• 28:48Speaker 01

  For the applause.

• 28:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Honest, that's honest.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  No, my, and the teacher said, I appreciate your honesty, but you have to have another reason. And I said, why? It's great, it's the best feeling in the world.

• 29:04Bobby Lee?

  It really is.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Oh, it is.

• 29:07Bobby Lee?

  You're getting, yeah, because I used to feel invisible when I walked into a room before. Yeah, I would walk into a bar when I was 21, I wasn't doing anything. And I just felt like no one saw me.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  They didn't. First of all, you're little.

• 29:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, because I'm little.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Secondly, it's dark.

• 29:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  And third, your eyes were probably closed.

• 29:28Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  You went and sleepy.

• 29:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yes, that's.

• 29:30Speaker 01

  No one sees me. It doesn't work like that.

• 29:34Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so then when I started doing comedy, I felt like I was being seen for once.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  No, well, I know what you're saying. You're saying, I count.

• 29:42Bobby Lee?

  I count, yeah.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Right?

• 29:44Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I belong on this earth. I think that's what everyone wants, right, Jared? Yeah, I'm gonna cry. Yeah, yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, when I got in the Groundlings, the first class, I drove, I was finally 25, I'm gonna go to, after 10 years of acting classes in college, a drama major and everything, used to run a drive from Canoga Park.

• 30:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  I'd been in New York for a year, wasn't getting anywhere. So I drove. I get on the freeway in, in the, yeah, like Canoga Park, on the 101, the metro, and I'm crying. I'm scared to death because I'm committing to be a comedian. Anyway, I get there, and even though I grew up in the valley, Hollywood, West Hollywood, it's another world.

• 30:22Bobby Lee?

  Hmm.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  So I get there on stage, I go do an improv, my teacher goes, well, that was funny, but you could do it like this, you could like this.

• 30:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 30:28Speaker 01

  And I was always the class clown. And instead of saying, shut up, they're, yeah, Phil's there.

• 30:33Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Instead of saying, shut up, they're like, well, you could be funny this way, you could be funny, you can goof off this. Tell me different ways to goof off.

• 30:39Bobby Lee?

  Ah.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  I go, I go, I'm in heaven. This is it. This is it.

• 30:43Bobby Lee?

  That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, Phil was there.

• 30:45Bobby Lee?

  Phil was there. Is Michael Hitchcock before, after you, right? You know Michael Hitchcock?

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Hmm, no.

• 30:52Bobby Lee?

  He was in Best in Show, Waiting for Goffman, anyway. Was Kathy Griffin there? That was before.

• 30:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, Kathy was there. She was in my classes. We were in the company together.

• 31:00Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you guys were? Who else were there? Pat Morita was before you, right? I think he did some stuff.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  You mean?

• 31:05Bobby Lee?

  Pat Morita?

• 31:06Speaker 01

  Your dad.

• 31:11Bobby Lee?

  Did you know Pat?

• 31:12Speaker 01

  No, I wish I, I wish I did. I never met him.

• 31:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Okay, anyway.

• 31:18Speaker 01

  He was great.

• 31:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he was great. So you're in the Groundlings. Who else was in the class with you? Lisa Kudrow?

• 31:26Speaker 01

  No, Lisa went after me. I grew up with her family. Her brother David's my best friend growing up.

• 31:32Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see.

• 31:33Speaker 01

  So I've known Lisa since she's five.

• 31:34Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  But when I got on Saturday Night Live, she called me, goes, "I want to get into acting." So I told her to go to The Groundlings and that was the best place to go.

• 31:42Bobby Lee?

  Wow. So you got her to The Groundlings?

• 31:43Speaker 01

  But she did it on, no, no, she did it herself. It took her about, um, she started, and then 10 years later, she got friends.

• 31:51Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 31:52Speaker 01

  So it took her 10 years of really hard work and hanging in there. She did it herself, you know, but I, I would, I suggest, I said, "She go to The Groundlings," and she went. And then they said, they go, "What have you done?" She goes, "Nothing." So they go, "Well, go, go with this other teacher, Cynthia Zagetti, who was great, and then come back and..."

• 32:09Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  So she did that and everything.

• 32:11Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  She would call me maybe about two or three times for advice. And I'd say, "I think you should do this." She goes, "Oh, I was thinking maybe I would do something else," like she had another suggestion. And she was always right. I go, "That's better. Do that. You're right."

• 32:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So, did you get hired with Phil Hartman or no? On SNL? Who got it first?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Me.

• 32:31Bobby Lee?

  You.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  Me.

• 32:35Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  Me.

• 32:40Bobby Lee?

  Great. And your, what, your class of SNL, let me guess. Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Me.

• 32:49Speaker 06

  Me. Here, please. Can I do my impression of SNL?

• 32:54Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 32:55Speaker 06

  (singing)

• 33:01Bobby Lee?

  What is that?

• 33:02Speaker 06

  That's the saxophone.

• 33:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, wow.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  (singing)

• 33:06Bobby Lee?

  Oh, that's Lenny. He's been there from the beginning. Yeah. So who was your class?

• 33:11Speaker 06

  I was there when I was a kid. I want to say that.

• 33:13Bobby Lee?

  He was on an SNL sketch?

• 33:14Speaker 06

  I was 14. I was in a sketch. I was a child actor.

• 33:17Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 33:18Speaker 06

  Tina Fey wrote it. And then on Howard Stern, she said it was her favorite she ever wrote.

• 33:22Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 33:22Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:23Bobby Lee?

  That's great.

• 33:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. No lines?

• 33:25Speaker 01

  That's big.

• 33:25Speaker 06

  I had lines.

• 33:26Bobby Lee?

  You had how many lines?

• 33:27Speaker 06

  I had, I had one line.

• 33:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:29Speaker 06

  And Don Pardo was my voice. I was like lip syncing to Don Pardo.

• 33:33Bobby Lee?

  Ah.

• 33:34Speaker 06

  The joke is, we had come back from hiatus. It's a Barney sketch, and all the kids were going through puberty. Rachel Dratch has big boobs now. She can't do the dances because her boobs are bouncing.

• 33:43Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 33:43Speaker 06

  Jimmy Fallon's the director. He's trying to cover her up. I, I played Zhao Ping. The joke is my voice.

• 33:49Bobby Lee?

  John doesn't give a shit.

• 33:52Speaker 01

  No, I'm listening.

• 33:53Bobby Lee?

  No, you're not. You don't give a shit. What was his name?

• 33:55Speaker 06

  Let me have this. I was on SNL.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 33:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, not just you. Other people.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  No, I'm sure, yes, everyone talks about that.

• 34:08Bobby Lee?

  Jiao. Yeah, who was your class when you first got, I forget?

• 34:11Speaker 01

  On Saturday Night Live? Well, my first year, it was, uh, it was very different than the next four. It was me, Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Michael Hall, Randy Quaid, Terry Sweeney,

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Damon Wayans.

• 34:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:28Speaker 01

  And Whitney Brown were feature players.

• 34:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  And the women were Nora Dunn and Denise Travance and Joan Cusack.

• 34:34Bobby Lee?

  Wow. And then next year, it completely changed, right?

• 34:37Speaker 01

  Dennis Miller did update, yeah. Then next year, they kept Dennis and Nora and I.

• 34:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  And then they go, who do you work well with?

• 34:44Bobby Lee?

  Okay, here we go. We got...

• 34:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd lost a lot of weight. I've gained it back.

• 34:49Bobby Lee?

  Where are you there? Oh, to the right. Oh, my god.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  I'm the Iranian fella on the far right.

• 34:55Bobby Lee?

  Wow, look at that cast. I don't remember that cast. But the season after is when it really...

• 35:00Speaker 01

  Well, how old are you now?

• 35:01Bobby Lee?

  Fifty-three.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  How old were you in eighty-five?

• 35:03Bobby Lee?

  In eighty-five, I was probably twelve or years old.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Living in Korea?

• 35:07Bobby Lee?

  No.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  What? You said you were Korean.

• 35:12Bobby Lee?

  I never lived there, man. I was born in San Diego, dude.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  Oh, you've never lived there?

• 35:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  And yet, there you are as Ilkhan, I mean...

• 35:20Bobby Lee?

  Ilkhan Wu.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Ilkhan. I mean...

• 35:22Bobby Lee?

  Who, what's his name? What's his name?

• 35:24Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 35:24Bobby Lee?

  No, just try to get, throw out the Ilkhan what?

• 35:26Speaker 01

  Ilkhan Jung?

• 35:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, Ilkhan Jung. Yeah, yeah.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  But I know that you are him.

• 35:31Bobby Lee?

  I'm not him.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Oh, please.

• 35:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Not as big.

• 35:34Bobby Lee?

  So here's the next, oh, this is where now. Here we go.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  So this was the next, uh...

• 35:39Bobby Lee?

  Season. Neeland. Wow. Yeah, Neeland. Dana.

• 35:43Bobby Lee?

  Right, Phil.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  Dana, Jan Hooks.

• 35:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Nora, me, Whitney Brown, Phil, Kevin Nealon. Victoria Jackson.

• 35:50Bobby Lee?

  Do you still talk to Victoria?

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, how is she?

• 35:54Speaker 01

  She's great.

• 35:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay, good. And then, uh.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  Jan sadly passed away, horrible.

• 35:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  But they, um, the difference between the first cast and this one, it wasn't about talent, it was just everybody in this photo. Their whole background was comedy.

• 36:09Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  And everyone knew somebody before. So like, I knew Phil from the ground. I, I liked Phil, so they go, who do you work well with? And I, I, Phil was one of four people I suggested. So they brought Phil on. And then Jan I'd worked with the year before I got the show on some show, but I met her.

• 36:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  And then Dennis and Dana and Whitney were all stand-ups in San Francisco.

• 36:35Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 36:37Speaker 01

  And then Dana got the show and then recommended Kevin Nealon.

• 36:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  For the show. And I don't know, I don't know how Victoria.

• 36:45Bobby Lee?

  The whitest cast I've ever seen. So white. No minorities back then, or no?

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Well, we were actors. We didn't need them.

• 36:56Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  We could act.

• 36:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:58Speaker 01

  I mean, back then, that was your talent, you know?

• 37:00Bobby Lee?

  Right. You know what? You know, I think you're right. I think.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  But, uh, but no, but truthfully, if you ask me now, you go, I didn't really, I didn't really, it occurred to me. But then, but then I thought, you know, yeah, you should have people from different backgrounds. But they should have the ability to, to act and play.

• 37:16Bobby Lee?

  You gotta deliver.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  People.

• 37:17Bobby Lee?

  Yes. Yeah.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  And be good. I mean.

• 37:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I would.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  You know, if you go, if you said, well, if there was a, a, a African-American actor, a guy that was great and funny, or a guy that was, you know, white Anglo, but not funny, who do you want on the show? I go, the funny guy.

• 37:32Bobby Lee?

  Yes, the funny guy. It should always.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  That guy, that's, that's what Jerry Seinfeld was saying when they go on his comedy with cards. He goes, I don't care about race. I care if they're funny.

• 37:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Which is not race.

• 37:42Bobby Lee?

  But my, but my argument with that is, is that some of the people that he had on there aren't actually that funny.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  But they, he thought they were-

• 37:48Bobby Lee?

  There were funnier minorities and ethnic people that he could have got-

• 37:51Speaker 01

  That's not the point.

• 37:52Bobby Lee?

  And replacement of some of the non-funny people that he had.

• 37:56Speaker 01

  No, but you're missing the point. There were people that he knew.

• 38:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  He wanted people that he knew.

• 38:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, he knew. He is-

• 38:04Speaker 01

  It's his show. Just like this is your podcast.

• 38:07Bobby Lee?

  I have people here I don't know.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  You have people on you don't want on?

• 38:10Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  Why?

• 38:13Bobby Lee?

  Just because they do good numbers.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  So you're a whore.

• 38:18Bobby Lee?

  I'm a full-blown Asian whore, like $2 Saki Saki. That's what I am, $2 Saki Saki, dude.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, now, and I'm thinking, maybe you are the one molesting the guy.

• 38:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Jerry, were you gonna say something?

• 38:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, I have a question. Like, so, it's SNL and you're doing topical sketches, like, if there was like a famous black guy, like, what did you guys do? Who played? Did you, did that come up?

• 38:43Speaker 06

  Or there's an Asian woman in the news, you wanna do a sketch about that Asian woman in the news? And then you go, "Uh, rock, paper, scissors, who's gonna be playing the Asian woman?"

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Well-

• 38:51Speaker 06

  I'm just all, I mean-

• 38:52Speaker 01

  No, it, like, well, like, I don't, I don't, we didn't do a lot of that. Billy Crystal worked with Sammy Davis Jr. He was on the year before. And he did a thing where he imitated Sammy Davis Jr.

• 39:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Now, I didn't think it was racist.

• 39:06Bobby Lee?

  It's not.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  He had, I go, well, he was dark, like, and I go, "What's that?" I go, "It's makeup."

• 39:11Bobby Lee?

  Yes. Yes, well-

• 39:13Speaker 01

  But suddenly, makeup is racist?

• 39:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, exactly. I understand.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  When, when the Wayne Brothers did White Girls-

• 39:20Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  I didn't think it was racist. I thought it was hilarious.

• 39:24Bobby Lee?

  Exactly.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  And I kinda admired it.

• 39:26Bobby Lee?

  When Mickey Rooney did that Chinese dude in that one movie? I loved it. I loved it.

• 39:30Speaker 06

  I drew the line there.

• 39:31Bobby Lee?

  I go, "Bravo, bravo." You know what I mean?

• 39:33Speaker 06

  I only think-

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Well, that was over the top.

• 39:34Bobby Lee?

  Go to the Mickey Rooney one.

• 39:35Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 39:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go to the Mickey Rooney one. Go to the Mickey Rooney one. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause this one, I was like, "Bravo, bravo."

• 39:41Speaker 01

  Well, but if, that's the problem. If you apply standards of today to 50 years ago or 100 years ago-

• 39:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  You know, yeah, things change and, and, and, um-

• 39:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  I said-

• 39:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay, so this-

• 39:54Speaker 06

  Which Mad TV sketch was that?

• 39:58Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm not, I'm not even trying to be funny.

• 39:59Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  So that, that's Mickey Rooney on the right and you on the left?

• 40:06Bobby Lee?

  That's both Mickey Rooney.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  What?

• 40:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's both Mickey Rooney.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 40:10Bobby Lee?

  Now, Jared, as a half Asian, how does that make you feel?

• 40:13Speaker 06

  So good.

• 40:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:16Bobby Lee?

  Well, he's kinda like you. He's white and Asian.

• 40:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, I totally...

• 40:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, I watched that movie for the first time like 10 years ago.

• 40:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:22Speaker 06

  And I, I didn't know anything about it. And then he shows up on screen.

• 40:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:26Speaker 06

  And I was like, what the fuck is this?

• 40:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 40:29Speaker 06

  People don't really talk about this.

• 40:31Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  Asian people know about it. He was doing a caricature.

• 40:36Bobby Lee?

  Of, of an Asian person?

• 40:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Like the teeth.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Right, the teeth is extreme, right. But if he, I, if he said it now, he goes, "Yeah, well, now I get it." He goes, "Back then it was, you know, you didn't think of it." I have a tel-, I have a directory.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  They used to have a big, it was like a phone book, right? A casting directory of every actor, right? And you had to, anyone could be in it. It was like two phone books, men, and then one was just women. I have one from like 1924.

• 41:08Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 41:09Speaker 01

  Or 20, and i-if you saw it, it goes, categories of people.

• 41:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  And it's all like, you're talking about races.

• 41:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Jewish types, black type, Asian types, Indian types, this type. That's how the, that's how people thought.

• 41:24Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  And the real, the real thing was, what really happened was,

• 41:30Speaker 01

  the, in like the early, if you wanna know why it was like this and why it's changing, the early 1900s, all, a lot of Jewish, European, um, immigrants came from, like my grandparents from Hungary and Romania, Russia, they all fled, fleeing death. So they came to New York. So the white Anglo-Saxon Protestants ran, basically ran New York. And they go, "The Jews aren't allowed in, in banking and this, they can't be in anything." But they had a Nick-, you know what a Nickelodeon is?

• 41:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  This is the first I'm hearing of any of this.

• 41:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Okay, well, you know your history, my fellows. So the Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon is, um, you know, on a, on a, on a, uh...

• 42:11Speaker 01

  When you're a kid, like on the side of a book, you do little pictures?

• 42:14Bobby Lee?

  I did that.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  And then you'd flip it and it would move?

• 42:15Bobby Lee?

  Yes. You go.

• 42:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 42:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  So you fan the book, right. So Nickelodeon was photos, like, uh, taken separate of like, they didn't have film in. Of a horse galloping. So you'd look in it, you'd look in a viewfinder.

• 42:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I've seen those, I've seen those, I've seen those, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  And you turn the crank.

• 42:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I've seen those, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  So the, the wasp said, let the Jews have the Nickelodeons, it's a gutter business.

• 42:36Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  So that's why they became, got into that. Then what happened is they built into big thing, and then they.

• 42:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, like that.

• 42:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, there you go.

• 42:43Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that's what you do.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  They wanted to get rid of their European background and, and become Americans and assimilate into America.

• 42:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 42:52Speaker 01

  And if you see, uh, so that's, so they changed their names.

• 42:56Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  They made all the Jewish actors change their names.

• 42:59Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  And they were presenting their image of what they thought America was, which was white Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

• 43:07Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  And they became very, um, honestly self-loathing Jews.

• 43:12Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  And, and, and, and they, like, uh, like, uh, uh, Tony Curtis is a bit, that's a, he wasn't self-loathing, but his, his real name's Bernie Schwartz.

• 43:23Bobby Lee?

  I know, because when I did that movie with Jamie Lee Curtis in Budapest, um, her father, Tony Curtis, created a synagogue there. So one morning, um, Jamie Lee Curtis goes, let's go to my father's synagogue. So I wore the little, little hat. And I went there one morning, I was so tired, but I, I felt like I had to go because she invited me. But it was like, and there was like a lot of history there, and it was very emotional, actually.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  So they, they're, well, yeah, so like, uh, like the.

• 43:52Bobby Lee?

  Did you listen to a word?

• 43:54Bobby Lee?

  I feel like you don't listen to a word I thought there.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  I heard it, I can't, I don't have anything to add to it.

• 43:58Bobby Lee?

  I know, but you, it's like, almost as if you're not even, we're not even fucking, we're in two different fucking rooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I'm listening.

• 44:06Bobby Lee?

  I know, but are you really listening?

• 44:07Speaker 01

  What a lovely story.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  When did you start working with Happy Madison?

• 44:14Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, dude, bro, bro.

• 44:17Bobby Lee?

  He just jumped decades.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Bro, bro, bro, we're not even close to being there.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  Anyway, so that's what happened in the sixth, so George Segal was the first actor to say, I'm not changing my name. Oh. He's Jewish. Right. But they all did. Kirk Douglas is Isher Daniel, Lobb is this, and then, and then, you know, minority, they wouldn't, they were right, they wouldn't give him parts, you know? Right. And then about five, six years ago, it started changing, and I lost, then they started saying, like, my friend worked forever, and they go, you can't get work, why? You're 60 and you're white. And it went the other way, about five, about, no, about 10 years ago, it started switching. I, I had two parts in shows and I lost, and they go, John's our first choice, and then, then they go, sorry. The network did.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, they go, we have to have minorities in this. And myself at the time was, well, why don't you cast the best actor for the part? But if you really want to help minorities, instead of saying, CBS had a thing, they go, we have to have two minorities in every show. Like, well, why don't you give them a whole show? If you really want to help people into, then we have like little bits and pieces here. Hence, Blackish. Give them the whole show. Yes. Well, Blackish, it's fine, but it's funny. It's funny, yeah. If it wasn't funny, you'd go, it's not, that's how I look at it, it's not funny. Yeah. It's like when Ellen DeGeneres on her show came on and she was gay, and I was doing a pilot at ABC, and I said to Jamie Tarsus, who's the head of, I said, well, okay, she's gay, but you're doing a sitcom. What's the funny part of the show?

• 45:48Speaker 01

  Where's the con, is it situation comedy? Yes, exactly. So, just, I understand she's brave, she's not comfortable, she goes, I'm not, I don't feel comfortable, you're, set me up on dates, it's all, it's fake, I'm gay. Okay, great. Yeah. Now what? Now, where's the comedy? Yeah. What's the situation that's funny? We understand, we understand, yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 46:11Speaker 01

  I just don't think you hear me. What's the situation?

• 46:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I know what situational comedies are. Yeah, what is the situation is what I'm saying.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Well, the show was off the air not long after that. And it wasn't because she came in again. There was nothing. What's the funny part?

• 46:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the funny part, how about like me, I'm looking for a place.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  What is she trying to do?

• 46:31Bobby Lee?

  Well, how about a show for us? I'm trying to find a place, right? And I can't find it and all of a sudden I see, you know, an ad for this, you know, I mean, house. And you're living there. Right? And then now the sitcom is about me and you, two strangers living. That's a funny situation.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  I thought of a better one.

• 46:47Bobby Lee?

  Okay, give me a better one then.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  I don't want to say it. Somebody will steal it.

• 46:51Bobby Lee?

  All right.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  I'll tell you off the air. You just made me think of something funnier.

• 46:56Bobby Lee?

  No, just say it now. Just say it now.

• 46:57Speaker 01

  No.

• 46:58Bobby Lee?

  Well, cut it out. We'll edit it out.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Liar.

• 47:01Bobby Lee?

  You know why I, can I say something? I don't think you have a funnier one. I think you're just saying that to point up mine, right? And going, oh, I'll talk about it later, but I don't think you're right. I think you're fucking lying, dude. What's yours called, Bobby? Yeah? Two guys in a house.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  No, it's that, but it's me and then I come home and you're a squatter.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Oh, that is funny. Another conflict.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  Or should I say con-flick?

• 47:28Bobby Lee?

  Conflict.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  You are, that is racist.

• 47:32Bobby Lee?

  I, you said conflict.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  You just said it.

• 47:35Bobby Lee?

  You said it first, conflict.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  Didn't you just say it?

• 47:36Bobby Lee?

  Who said conflict first? Oh, I did? All right, you say it.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  Conflict.

• 47:44Bobby Lee?

  Wow, very good one, dude. Wow, so let's do a show called Con-flict. Conflict.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  You gotta cut out, somebody's gonna steal it.

• 47:50Bobby Lee?

  No one's gonna steal that.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  No, they are.

• 47:52Bobby Lee?

  We might take it.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  Are you that naive?

• 47:55Bobby Lee?

  I have people, I have, there's a guy, a couple of guys, people that have overalls at networks and they're begging me for a three-camera sitcom. I don't have one. Why can't we do conflict? Conflict. Okay. You wouldn't work with me every day? It feels good.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  No, but you know what'd be funny to add? I go, we have a conflict. And then you go, you racist fuck.

• 48:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't have an accent in it though. Do you want me to have an accent in our show?

• 48:23Speaker 01

  But you have one now.

• 48:25Bobby Lee?

  I don't have one now, dude. You think I have a fucking accent right now? Right now, I kinda do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:32Speaker 00

  You can play your brother. You can play yourself and your brother, and your brother is-

• 48:36Speaker 01

  No, you won't leave, and it's me trying to get you out of the house.

• 48:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  It's funny.

• 48:40Bobby Lee?

  It's funny. That's a good one. Spy versus spy, yeah. What are you doing right now?

• 48:44Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 48:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, are you bored?

• 48:47Speaker 01

  No, I'm just myself.

• 48:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  Do you want to talk about Sarah Hyland?

• 48:58Bobby Lee?

  Uh, what do you want to talk about Sarah Hyland about?

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Well, I was friends with her, and then she was dating you.

• 49:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and then what happened?

• 49:05Speaker 00

  Bobby's ex-girlfriend.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  You were so horrible in bed that she said, "I don't want to be in bed anymore."

• 49:12Speaker 00

  She did go to the other team.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Look, he's crying. Okay, I guess we better cut this out, but we'll leave in the sitcom idea.

• 49:24Bobby Lee?

  So you think that Sarah married a woman after me because I was terrible in bed?

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know. All I'm saying is, after you-

• 49:37Bobby Lee?

  Yes?

• 49:38Speaker 01

  She decided she-

• 49:39Bobby Lee?

  It happened to happen.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Oh, it was just a coincidence.

• 49:43Speaker 00

  Jared, what do you think about that situation? This is the pilot of Confident-

• 49:47Speaker 01

  By the way, I love- Sarah, I- no, you know how I met Sarah, I think she was in my- I was doing an acting class-

• 49:54Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  Fraser Smith asked me to do it, and I go, "I don't know." I said, "Well, you get the people," and I think, I think that's- my memory sucks now. She was in it. But Sarah's great.

• 50:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. And you were hanging out with her?

• 50:09Speaker 01

  We were friendly. She was in the class.

• 50:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, of course.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wasn't-

• 50:12Bobby Lee?

  I'm not accusing you of anything.

• 50:13Speaker 01

  Dating her.

• 50:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I understand that, but it's a little offensive that you thought that, like, my sexual styling is what drove her into lesbianism.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  It wasn't, it wasn't that-

• 50:25Bobby Lee?

  That's what you're accusing me of, you fucking piece of shit.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  I know, but Bobby, it wasn't that I thought of it, thought that.

• 50:33Bobby Lee?

  Everyone thought-

• 50:33Speaker 01

  Everyone thought.

• 50:36Speaker 01

  Like, if you did a poll-

• 50:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:41Bobby Lee?

  Like, all of... I'm just gonna say. Yeah, you said it.

• 50:46Bobby Lee?

  Thirty percent of your fans and a hundred percent of Koreans. Yeah. Think that's what happened. Oh, right, right, right. And then you got so mad, and that's when you moved back. Killed the real Kim Il-Jong.

• 51:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's a sitcom. That's a sitcom. You're Kim Il-Jong hiding in my house. Well, that should all should be storylines in our sitcom, you and I. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We'll put Kim Il-Jong in Il-Jong, or whatever you call him, you know what I mean? We'll put the whole Sarah thing in there. Can I write that for it? You can write, you want to be on the writing staff? Yeah. I've never been in a writer's room. Can't... Oh, then, perfect.

• 51:25Bobby Lee?

  I've never done it. Oh, I'm sold. Very good writer. Okay? John? I'll be the P A.

• 51:37Bobby Lee?

  Well, I... There's not even a show. You better cut it out, no one's gonna... Steal it. No, they're not gonna steal it. They will. They might. It's too good of an idea. Yeah. It is good. Yeah, it is good. And it's all in the news, trust me, cut it out. Yeah, John's, um, saying, basically, that you're not gonna be the P A. You're not having no involvement in the show. Well, you're missing out. I didn't, I'm not saying that, he said it. No, you were, because you didn't give him the job.

• 52:08Bobby Lee?

  There's no show. I know, hypothetically, would you give him the job? Yeah, it could be your, your assistant. Your, your P A. Yeah, no, no, no. No, no, no. No? Yeah, yeah, you're out. But the next show, we'll do an, um... Well, I have a better show. A spinoff. What, what's your show? I'm not gonna tell you. Why, you think they're gonna steal it, somebody's gonna steal it? It's gonna be better than this one. Okay, what is, what is it then, just tell, we'll cut it out. Instead of two people. Yeah. It's three people. Okay. Damn, he one-upped you. He one-upped our show, dude. You know what's called, Paul Fricks?

• 52:41Speaker 01

  I find that very offensive.

• 52:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Okay, so do you feel like, John, show business is dying, though?

• 52:51Speaker 05

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• 53:23Speaker 01

  It's not, it's not the same.

• 53:25Bobby Lee?

  It's not the same.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  I used to do a lot of, uh, my first job I was on, well, if, Jesus Christ.

• 53:32Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  It's 42 years later. A lot of jobs on the Fox lot.

• 53:36Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  And I was there this summer to like do like one line in The Simpsons. So there, that's changed. And then, um, and the lot was empty.

• 53:47Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  There were no movies.

• 53:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  At all.

• 53:50Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Maybe one show. The Simpsons is still there, but it was just, it was, all the sound stages were empty.

• 53:56Bobby Lee?

  Oh, my God.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  Empty. There, you used to look around and there'd be all these people and costumes.

• 54:02Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, I know.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  And all these beautiful, you know, girls auditioning everywhere.

• 54:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:07Speaker 01

  And the commissary was full and every table, there was executives and movie stars and this, I mean, it was, it was really exciting.

• 54:15Bobby Lee?

  I know, I, I was.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Now it's just like.

• 54:17Bobby Lee?

  Okay. I was serious regular, a bunch of shows, and I remember getting my own slot. Drive, you get to drive onto the lot, your name's on your parking, you know what I mean?

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 54:27Bobby Lee?

  Cable for the whole network, and then you go to the, you know, you see other shows, like, oh, my God, there's Seth Rogen, or whatever. You say hi to old friends and this and that. They're doing other, it's very active, and now it's dead, is what you're saying.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:38Speaker 04

  Kind of like a.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Well, because.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Peewee Herman.

• 54:40Speaker 01

  Because what happened was, they, the, Canada wanted the movie business, so like in Vancouver, they started giving a tax credit.

• 54:49Bobby Lee?

  I just did a movie last week in Toronto.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  Toronto, then they did it in New Orleans.

• 54:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 54:53Speaker 01

  Then they, and now California wouldn't do it. Now 46 states have tax credits. And California won't do it, so they lost their business. They're idiots.

• 55:01Bobby Lee?

  Idiots. What was the show you were on, the sketch show? Mad TV? Yeah, where's that shot? Was that Fox lot? Originally it was, but then we moved to Hollywood Center Studios. On Santa Monica. And Las Palmas.

• 55:16Speaker 00

  Netflix, right next to Netflix?

• 55:17Bobby Lee?

  Netflix, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, and, um... But I'm sure there were show- stuff going on there when you were there? Oh, yeah, yeah, one time it was, that's how we got the Strokes. Cause the Strokes were doing a music video next to ours, and I ran over. Because I'd run under them before. And I go, and then, um, I went to- You'd run under them? Is that like a reference to, cause you're small?

• 55:42Bobby Lee?

  You know, I swear to fucking god, Guy. I like you a lot. You said it. I know. I ran under them. Yeah, yeah, I- What does that mean? I ran into them, as I'm what that's- That's how you said. I know, I fucked up. You said, "I ran under them." Yeah, but I meant into them. Like, "I ran under the table," you, no, that's how you said. "I ran under them," so you went between their legs. I'm small. That's right. I was small. I didn't say it, you did. You know what, Guy? Thanks for being here, dude. You wanted conflict.

• 56:14Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, we have conflict. You wanted me to get your shit. Now we have it, now we have it. And then whenever I do, you just stare at me like, "How dare you." Yeah, yeah. And yet you said you wanted it earlier. I do want it. Okay? You go, "I'm always nice to you." So, anyway- So, I'm trying to stir it up. There was things going on in the lot, and yes, exciting, exciting, exciting, exciting. Yeah.

• 56:34Speaker 00

  Can I say something?

• 56:34Bobby Lee?

  Did you hear the last thing you said? Yeah, yeah. Was that even English? No, it wasn't. It was exciting, exciting, exciting. Yeah, I understand. Go ahead.

• 56:45Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but I'm speaking Mandarin, and no- Yeah, so am I. What did I say? Ni hama. How's it going? How are you? Yeah. Now, do you understand what I'm saying? Bahashay. No, it's my turn now.

• 56:59Bobby Lee?

  You said nothing. I know. I know, ask your question, Jaime.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, like-

• 57:03Bobby Lee?

  Oh, go ahead, sorry. And now, let's get to you. Yeah, yeah.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  Uh, what you were saying about the lot being filled, kinda reminds me when I was growing up watching the Pee Wee Big Adventure. When he was with the bike, I don't know if you ever watched that?

• 57:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:18Speaker 04

  And like, he was going through the studio sets, and it was just packed. And that was a good feeling.

• 57:26Bobby Lee?

  That was on the Warner Brothers lot in the valley, yeah. Yeah, but it was like that, there was stuff- Very good.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  It was exciting. I don't know why they don't.

• 57:35Bobby Lee?

  It's sad.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  If they just give tax credits, everybody, most people live here, so they go like, yeah, let's, let's work here. I'd rather work here. I live here. They don't want to have to keep traveling.

• 57:45Bobby Lee?

  Have you thought about moving?

• 57:47Speaker 01

  To where?

• 57:48Bobby Lee?

  I don't know. Many people are going to Austin, maybe people are going to Atlanta. There's studios there now.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Well, I, I don't have to move to work. You just, you go there.

• 57:57Bobby Lee?

  Or you get a flight. Yeah. You get a flight, right?

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Well.

• 58:03Bobby Lee?

  Explaining travel? I don't know. What's your house like?

• 58:06Speaker 01

  I have a feeling that you don't say, in private, I don't think you say flight or plane.

• 58:13Bobby Lee?

  Ah, I get it. Yeah. Private shit.

• 58:18Speaker 01

  Get it?

• 58:18Bobby Lee?

  I, I do get it.

• 58:21Bobby Lee?

  Good. I like you. What's your house like?

• 58:23Speaker 01

  You know, Joe Coy used to-

• 58:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I want to know.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  What's my house like?

• 58:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:27Speaker 01

  That's private. I have a nice home.

• 58:29Bobby Lee?

  I know you do. This is where I live, this building. How long have you lived in the home you live in now?

• 58:34Speaker 01

  Since, oh gosh, 1990, I think.

• 58:37Bobby Lee?

  Wow. Wow. Wow. Why does Spade move around so much?

• 58:43Speaker 01

  He doesn't really.

• 58:44Bobby Lee?

  He just moved, he had a nice glorious house.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  He just-

• 58:47Bobby Lee?

  And he went to a different glorious house.

• 58:48Speaker 01

  Well, recently, buddy. He lived where he lived for a long time.

• 58:51Bobby Lee?

  Oh, he did? Yeah. I liked, I liked that house. Yeah. He would invite me over. You never invited me over. Ever.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 58:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, in fact, you don't ever call me. I'm the one that reached out to you.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Well.

• 59:05Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, go ahead.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  All right. I just, because I just worry, like, you'd come over and you'd look at all the stuff and you go, okay, bye, John. Okay, bye. And then you, like, wouldn't really leave.

• 59:18Bobby Lee?

  Like our show.

• 59:20Speaker 01

  You'd be underneath the house.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  Waiting.

• 59:23Bobby Lee?

  I see, I see.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  And then you hear me go, I'm going out of town. See you in a week.

• 59:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  And then you'd come up.

• 59:28Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, come up like that.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  Steel shit.

• 59:30Bobby Lee?

  Through the piping and, yeah, yeah.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, and steel.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Well, not the piping, but like the, the ducts.

• 59:35Bobby Lee?

  The ducts. Yeah.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, the air conditioning.

• 59:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Now, with your new podcast, what's it called?

• 59:45Bobby Lee?

  What the fuck? Just fucking say it dude, what the fuck?

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Well, it's called, what do they know? It's out there now. What do they know? I don't think they keep doing it, but it's with me and Charlotte McKinney, and Charlotte's great and everything.

• 59:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, she, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen her.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  But, uh, you know, I had this conversation, and I said to this guy, "Well, how long did you do your podcast before you started getting paid?"

• 1:00:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  And this guy said, "Three years."

• 1:00:10Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:00:10Speaker 01

  I said, "Three years?"

• 1:00:12Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Well, I'm not fucking doing that.

• 1:00:15Bobby Lee?

  Well, how long did it take us? Around three years. About three years. This one.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  You were the guy.

• 1:00:20Bobby Lee?

  Well, I was the guy, what the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  You were the guy that said that to me.

• 1:00:26Bobby Lee?

  Oh yeah, I did tell you. Oh yeah, I did tell you that. Yeah, I was like, "What the fuck?"

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Three years of work, you don't make any money.

• 1:00:33Bobby Lee?

  Are you making money now on it?

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  I don't know, am I, you're giving me a piece of your podcast?

• 1:00:39Bobby Lee?

  No, no, I'm saying on yours. Are you making money on the one, this one?

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:00:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay. How long have you been doing What Do You Know?

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  We've done like fifty thousand shows.

• 1:00:49Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  Okay, ten.

• 1:00:51Bobby Lee?

  Ten.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  Well, what's the difference?

• 1:00:52Bobby Lee?

  Do you have guests?

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:54Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever, can I do it?

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:57Bobby Lee?

  Is that All Things Comedy? Who's doing it?

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:00Bobby Lee?

  All Things Comedy, yeah? Look at it. What a great, What Do They Know? Do you record it in Burbank?

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:01:10Bobby Lee?

  At the ATC?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  At the thing.

• 1:01:12Bobby Lee?

  At the ATC studio, yeah. Do you use their generic studio, or do you have your own studio, like?

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  Generic.

• 1:01:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, well. Hey, you're three, you're gonna have your own.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  Just look at that painting of that girl, I thought she was choking you.

• 1:01:26Bobby Lee?

  That's my ex-girlfriend, and like, this is what it is, right here. And, yeah, wow.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, look at that. I look like I'm ninety.

• 1:01:34Bobby Lee?

  How old are you now, John?

• 1:01:37Speaker 01

  Sixty-seven.

• 1:01:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, you look great.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  You look good.

• 1:01:39Bobby Lee?

  You have a good tan?

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah?

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  You have a nice dog?

• 1:01:43Bobby Lee?

  You have a nice dog. We could, you know, I'm going to.

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  I don't feel any different than when I met, when I was twenty-eight. It's very strange. You don't feel any different.

• 1:01:51Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  So when I go, how old are you? I just feel, I go, well, I technically am sixty, but I feel like I'm lying.

• 1:01:57Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:01:57Speaker 01

  Have you seen other sixty-seven-year-olds?

• 1:02:00Bobby Lee?

  No, yeah, they're, they're not like you.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:02Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  They're all decrepit.

• 1:02:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. They're full of joy and.

• 1:02:06Speaker 01

  They want to retire.

• 1:02:07Bobby Lee?

  What, you son of a bitch?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Bitch. Jinxed. And now you can't talk till I say your name.

• 1:02:15Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  Il come, Il.

• 1:02:20Speaker 00

  Kim Jong.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  Kim Jong Il. Oh, you can talk.

• 1:02:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Thank you. I can talk. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:02:28Bobby Lee?

  Thank you, thank you so much.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  I said your name.

• 1:02:31Bobby Lee?

  Yes, thank you.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  You know, acting.

• 1:02:36Speaker 01

  When you were on Mad TV, didn't you play different characters?

• 1:02:38Bobby Lee?

  I did.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  Like, that's part of acting?

• 1:02:42Bobby Lee?

  I did Connie Chung, I did, uh, Kim Jong Il. That's from Mad TV, that poster. Yeah. Yeah, I, what's this? There's Jordan, Ike, and there, I played that guy. Oh, my god! There I am. Oh, my god. Yeah, look at me. Oh, my god.

• 1:02:58Speaker 00

  Breaking the barriers.

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  See, Dana Carvey.

• 1:03:03Bobby Lee?

  There's Ike. Look at the young Ike Bernholdt. Look at that. Wow. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  That's hilarious.

• 1:03:09Bobby Lee?

  And then, uh.

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  That would never be on TV.

• 1:03:11Bobby Lee?

  Why?

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  You think that would be, that would, someone would do this now?

• 1:03:15Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:03:15Speaker 00

  A blind Asian Kung Fu master?

• 1:03:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, why not?

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  It's a joke. But it's acting. Why is it, it's a, it's a satire?

• 1:03:21Speaker 00

  It's so good, though.

• 1:03:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, it's so good.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  So now they would say that's racist because an Asian guy's playing an Asian guy?

• 1:03:26Bobby Lee?

  I know, I know, I know, I know. Look how good I was, though.

• 1:03:29Speaker 00

  You're great.

• 1:03:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  I wouldn't know that was you. You really look like, I mean, totally. You look like the guy from a movie.

• 1:03:35Bobby Lee?

  Are you just crossing your eyes?

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:03:36Bobby Lee?

  No, I have a white, one white eye for some reason. Cause I couldn't get the other one in my eye. Oh. My left eye, so we just, we'll just do one white eye. Okay, cool. It still looks kind of weird, you know what I mean? There's Nicole Parker, my friend. She was a cast member for many years. Very talented. And, uh, okay, let's move on from this sketch, huh? I've got other characters. Pull up a Connie Chung.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  Well, no, listen, Dana Carvey.

• 1:04:01Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  Did a show, uh, on, on SNL character, Ching Chang. And and it was and it was based on a real guy.

• 1:04:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  A real in San Francisco.

• 1:04:10Bobby Lee?

  There I am, Connie Chung. Whoa.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  Well, that's hilarious.

• 1:04:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. You look beautiful. Yeah, thank you so much. We have the same hair. Yeah.

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  I know Connie Chung, she's very nice.

• 1:04:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I've always wanted to meet her. You think we could get Connie Chung on this? Yeah, for sure you could.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's very nice.

• 1:04:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, that'd be legendary.

• 1:04:30Speaker 01

  And very interesting, very intelligent, very bright.

• 1:04:34Bobby Lee?

  She's bright, yeah.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  You might not understand what she's saying, but.

• 1:04:38Bobby Lee?

  Why is that?

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  Because she's smarter.

• 1:04:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh. You know, John, I'll tell you this bucko, I'll tell you this bucko.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, bring it.

• 1:04:47Bobby Lee?

  I'll bring it to you, alright? I'm brighter than you think.

• 1:04:53Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I'm brighter than you think, alright? My knowledge is in certain areas, and there's some things I don't know I'm aware of.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  Oh, well, what area do you have knowledge in?

• 1:05:03Bobby Lee?

  Uh, film. Oh.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:05:06Bobby Lee?

  Yes, I'm a big Cora Salaf fan, I bring that up a lot, right, but I like film, I like, what, Wong Kar Wai?

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. Did you ever heard of the movie Random Harvest?

• 1:05:13Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  Who's in it?

• 1:05:15Bobby Lee?

  You are.

• 1:05:19Bobby Lee?

  You should have won an Oscar for that, man. I tell you, when you play the imp.

• 1:05:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:05:24Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, the imp, I bet. Yeah, I mean, I don't know that particular.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  Oh, well, it won an Oscar.

• 1:05:29Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah?

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  You ever heard of Greer Garson?

• 1:05:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, I don't do white film history. Oh. Okay.

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  You don't do white film history?

• 1:05:38Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  It's not white film history, it's film history, American films.

• 1:05:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay, I never saw Random Harvest.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  It's fantastic.

• 1:05:46Bobby Lee?

  It is?

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:47Bobby Lee?

  What's it about?

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  Well, Ronald, it's World War, end of, after, about three years after World War One, and he has amnesia.

• 1:05:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  And he's in an insane asylum and he escapes and he ends up. He wanders into town.

• 1:06:07Bobby Lee?

  That's the guy to the right in the poster.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, he was a huge actor.

• 1:06:10Bobby Lee?

  And he runs into a black woman.

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  No, Greer Garson.

• 1:06:13Bobby Lee?

  She's a black woman, she has red hair. You know that redheads are black now? Oh, that's a thing. It's a new thing now.

• 1:06:19Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:06:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so look at me right now, John.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 1:06:22Bobby Lee?

  John, look at me right now. I know some things, Bobby. I know some things. Go on TikTok. Just listen to me right now, okay? Redheaded people are now black people. And it's not just redheads saying it. Black people are saying it as well. So it must be true.

• 1:06:40Speaker 01

  That's the most ridiculous.

• 1:06:42Bobby Lee?

  No, but it's true, and I think that's something.

• 1:06:44Speaker 01

  They're from Ireland.

• 1:06:45Bobby Lee?

  I understand that, but it's basically perception. Is what we're talking about.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:06:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leprechauns are fast.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  Okay, okay, redheaded women, Greer Garson, are black people.

• 1:07:04Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:07:05Speaker 01

  And you.

• 1:07:06Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Are taller than Shaquille O'Neal.

• 1:07:10Bobby Lee?

  Wow. I think you're being.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Fesishous. No, I'm stating a fact.

• 1:07:16Bobby Lee?

  Oh, you are?

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  You are taller.

• 1:07:18Bobby Lee?

  Yes. Anyway, we're gonna.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  I'm seven eight.

• 1:07:22Bobby Lee?

  Check out Random Harvest.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  It's a great movie.

• 1:07:25Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  And it has three acts, and they don't do that anymore.

• 1:07:29Bobby Lee?

  Right. What's the last good movie you've seen?

• 1:07:32Speaker 01

  Be honest.

• 1:07:35Bobby Lee?

  He might, he might lie.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  I don't remember, I have to think.

• 1:07:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  I don't remember yesterday.

• 1:07:40Bobby Lee?

  Did you see Sinners?

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:07:42Bobby Lee?

  Do you know what it's about?

• 1:07:43Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:07:44Bobby Lee?

  Black vampire, no, white vampires, but black people in a. Just vampires. Vampire movie. Kind of like I'm Robot. No, if you say that again, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind, dude. I'm Robot and Sinners have nothing to do.

• 1:07:56Speaker 01

  Bela Lugosi, you know, was Dracula.

• 1:07:58Bobby Lee?

  I understand that.

• 1:07:58Speaker 01

  I'm hungry, and my aunt dated him.

• 1:08:01Bobby Lee?

  Really?

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:02Bobby Lee?

  Your aunt dated Bela?

• 1:08:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:04Bobby Lee?

  Wow. That's incredible.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, my great aunt, yeah.

• 1:08:08Bobby Lee?

  Did you know Kierkegaard?

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Canoe.

• 1:08:11Bobby Lee?

  Okay.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  Get it?

• 1:08:13Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  Canoe.

• 1:08:14Bobby Lee?

  Canoe. So, you have any questions for John Lovitz? Did you see Friendship?

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:08:22Bobby Lee?

  You don't watch comedies, then?

• 1:08:24Speaker 01

  I don't know every movie that exists.

• 1:08:27Bobby Lee?

  I know, but John, for the la- I bet your money, in the last five years, a bunch of movies have come out, yeah?

• 1:08:34Speaker 01

  That I haven't seen.

• 1:08:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you haven't seen any of them.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:08:37Bobby Lee?

  That's my belief.

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 1:08:39Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Did you see Dune 1 or 2? Or both?

• 1:08:42Speaker 01

  Neither. I had no interest in seeing it.

• 1:08:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay, why? Because of space and all that stuff?

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  Well, I've seen dunes. I've seen sand dunes.

• 1:08:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh, I see. That's a good point.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  You didn't- you know what I saw? What was it? Reacher? The TV show.

• 1:08:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 1:08:55Bobby Lee?

  You like Jack Reacher?

• 1:08:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like action. Cause I just, I like people that stand up against bullies. I like that.

• 1:09:01Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:02Speaker 01

  You're a bully. I'd like to see him beat the crap out of you.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  It'd be a fair fight.

• 1:09:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  Cause he's 6'3", but as we all know, you're 7'8"?

• 1:09:16Bobby Lee?

  He called back, huh?

• 1:09:17Speaker 06

  Bobby, you both were on the same TV show.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  Oh, that. That was- oh, yeah, we did.

• 1:09:23Bobby Lee?

  Magnum P.I.

• 1:09:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:26Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  And then they said, "Do this one scene, and if the show gets picked up next season, we'll have you back and it'll be a great character."

• 1:09:35Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:35Speaker 01

  And it was fun. I did it. And I- and then didn't get picked up. I don't know why.

• 1:09:39Bobby Lee?

  Well, it did get picked up, cause I did 12 episodes of that.

• 1:09:42Speaker 01

  No, it didn't get picked up after this season.

• 1:09:45Bobby Lee?

  Oh, after this season it didn't?

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  But we were in this- this show. We're both in it.

• 1:09:48Bobby Lee?

  In the same episode?

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:09:50Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 1:09:50Speaker 06

  Oh, wow.

• 1:09:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but you didn't do that shit.

• 1:09:54Bobby Lee?

  Look at me. Action Bob, right there, dude.

• 1:09:58Speaker 06

  So, guy- okay, this guy you're in the car with.

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  He's the lead actor.

• 1:10:01Bobby Lee?

  Do you- what's his name? What's his name, John?

• 1:10:04Speaker 01

  Hmm?

• 1:10:07Bobby Lee?

  What's his name, John?

• 1:10:08Speaker 01

  Was it Tom? I don't remember.

• 1:10:09Bobby Lee?

  J. Hernandez.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  Oh, J. He was very nice.

• 1:10:11Bobby Lee?

  Very nice guy.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  He was a good actor.

• 1:10:12Bobby Lee?

  Great actor.

• 1:10:13Speaker 06

  What- were you- were you sexually attracted to him at- at all? Like, any, even one or two degrees? Are you bi at all for J. Red- J. Hernandez?

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:10:23Speaker 06

  Nothing? You look at that man, you feel zero?

• 1:10:27Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:10:29Speaker 06

  If I'm in that car with him, I mean, that's crazy.

• 1:10:33Speaker 07

  No, I've been in the same room with him, and I think if John says that he wasn't sexually attracted, maybe that was CGI, cuz I'm very straight and very attracted to him.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  God, that's so him.

• 1:10:43Bobby Lee?

  I was very attracted to him as well.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  I wasn't.

• 1:10:46Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Cause you've never seen this.

• 1:10:47Speaker 01

  You feel very nice.

• 1:10:49Bobby Lee?

  Let me say something, if you saw him in the flesh,

• 1:10:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:51Bobby Lee?

  you'd be more attracted.

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 1:10:52Bobby Lee?

  I've seen him in a speedo, bro. At his, at his fucking house in Hawaii. And we were bathing.

• 1:10:58Speaker 07

  You're gay?

• 1:10:59Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  Are you really?

• 1:11:03Speaker 07

  I am, yeah.

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:11:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Bobby Lee?

  What's, what's?

• 1:11:06Speaker 07

  Is that okay?

• 1:11:06Bobby Lee?

  What's the problem, John?

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  It's fine, I don't know.

• 1:11:08Bobby Lee?

  What's your views on the gays?

• 1:11:10Speaker 01

  I thought you said you weren't.

• 1:11:11Speaker 07

  No, I'm gay.

• 1:11:12Bobby Lee?

  He's full-blown gay.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Oh, God. Oh, sake.

• 1:11:16Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:11:16Speaker 07

  But it's cool that you thought maybe I wasn't.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  No, I was thinking maybe you weren't.

• 1:11:22Bobby Lee?

  Oh, the whole time you thought you were, he was?

• 1:11:24Speaker 07

  Cause you're going this?

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  We're in a vibe.

• 1:11:26Bobby Lee?

  He's got a gay, he's got a gay vibe, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's a very funny gay.

• 1:11:30Speaker 07

  Hey.

• 1:11:31Bobby Lee?

  He's a great, great stand-up.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Lot of, lot of, uh, uh, uh, uh, this isn't, I don't know, whatever.

• 1:11:38Bobby Lee?

  Whatever.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  But a lot of gay, they're very funny.

• 1:11:40Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:41Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Flamboyant and funny.

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  They're just, well, they're funny.

• 1:11:45Bobby Lee?

  They are fair.

• 1:11:45Speaker 01

  Terry Sweeney was on the show, Terry was like, I'm openly gay, but Terry was hilarious.

• 1:11:50Speaker 07

  Who's the funniest gay guy?

• 1:11:51Bobby Lee?

  I think Mateo Lane.

• 1:11:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:11:56Bobby Lee?

  Okay, you don't know him much.

• 1:11:58Speaker 01

  Rip Torn.

• 1:12:01Speaker 07

  Is he gay?

• 1:12:02Bobby Lee?

  Was Rip Torn gay?

• 1:12:03Speaker 01

  Is he gay?

• 1:12:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  What, are you kidding? Show him a picture of Rip Torn.

• 1:12:08Bobby Lee?

  I know what Rip Torn looks like. Yeah, I know Rip Torn.

• 1:12:11Speaker 07

  Didn't he always like, get mad if people called him gay, though?

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  He couldn't have been gayer.

• 1:12:17Speaker 07

  I think, yeah, he's good.

• 1:12:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:18Speaker 07

  He didn't strike me as that gay.

• 1:12:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  He was very flamboyant, he'd throw confetti and, yeah.

• 1:12:23Bobby Lee?

  Oh, Rip Torn, I was thinking of somebody.

• 1:12:25Speaker 01

  No, not Rip Torn, Rip Taylor, no.

• 1:12:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, you're saying the wrong guy.

• 1:12:28Bobby Lee?

  Rip Taylor Torn?

• 1:12:29Speaker 01

  No, not Rip Torn, sorry.

• 1:12:30Bobby Lee?

  Give me Rip Torn, give me Rip Torn, give me Rip.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  No, you're right.

• 1:12:32Bobby Lee?

  No, hold on.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  I made a mistake.

• 1:12:34Bobby Lee?

  Give me Rip Torn, give me Rip Torn.

• 1:12:36Speaker 07

  Cause Rip Torn is definitely not.

• 1:12:37Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:38Bobby Lee?

  Rip Torn.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  No, I, I, I made a mistake.

• 1:12:41Bobby Lee?

  Gary Shandling Show, Larry Sanders Show, Larry.

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  I made a mistake, not him, Rip Taylor.

• 1:12:46Bobby Lee?

  Okay, Rip Taylor, look up Rip Taylor. I, I don't think you know what you're talking about, right?

• 1:12:50Speaker 07

  I think you're right, Rip Taylor.

• 1:12:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:52Speaker 07

  There he is.

• 1:12:52Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, he's definitely gay.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Rip Taylor.

• 1:12:55Speaker 07

  You look at me and you see Rip Taylor.

• 1:12:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  Beyond.

• 1:13:00Bobby Lee?

  A beyond gay. Yeah.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  I mean, he's a nice guy, very funny.

• 1:13:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Oh, is he really nice? I never met him.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, is he, has he passed on?

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  He has.

• 1:13:10Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  Just rip.

• 1:13:12Bobby Lee?

  It said rip, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  Rip, rip.

• 1:13:13Bobby Lee?

  Have you ever had a gay experience, Sean?

• 1:13:16Speaker 01

  Lesbian.

• 1:13:17Bobby Lee?

  Oh, lesbian experience, yes, yes. You've scissored a woman.

• 1:13:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:13:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:26Bobby Lee?

  That would be, that would be the funniest image known to man. John Lovitz scissoring a woman.

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Like Leslie, like Leslie Jones.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  I don't even wanna picture it.

• 1:13:36Bobby Lee?

  Okay. Um, is that your favorite position in bed? Scissoring?

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  One of them, yeah.

• 1:13:44Bobby Lee?

  Good, good, good, good, good, good.

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  Do you still work? My favorite position in bed now is taking a nap.

• 1:13:50Bobby Lee?

  Wow, that's good. I'm very good at that.

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  Good night.

• 1:13:53Bobby Lee?

  Good night. And you go. Yeah.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  That was a joke.

• 1:13:57Bobby Lee?

  What are you looking at right now? I feel like you're-

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Your walls are just-

• 1:14:00Bobby Lee?

  John, I feel like you're bored now.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  No, I-

• 1:14:02Bobby Lee?

  Are you bored?

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm looking at all the stuff you have.

• 1:14:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Why is your podcast called Tiger Belly, anyway?

• 1:14:11Bobby Lee?

  It was just a nickname I had for one of my friends over the years. That was a funny name, and we just named it that.

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:14:20Bobby Lee?

  Yes. Yes, really.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  I don't buy that next part.

• 1:14:23Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, what about your title?

• 1:14:28Speaker 01

  Well, what do they know? It's like, yeah, what the hell do I know?

• 1:14:31Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Wow.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:34Bobby Lee?

  So, um, what are your future plans now, John? What's your dream here, baby?

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  Well, work-wise, I did this game show, Funny You Should Ask, and it's coming back. They stopped shooting, they're gonna come back.

• 1:14:46Bobby Lee?

  I did one episode of that and they never called me back.

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  Well, the only reason is, is, um, I can think, I'm guessing, going-

• 1:14:54Bobby Lee?

  Okay, go on, I'll guess, go ahead.

• 1:14:56Speaker 01

  But it's a comedy show. And you have to be funny.

• 1:15:03Bobby Lee?

  Okay. I was hurtful.

• 1:15:07Bobby Lee?

  I burned. I burned a bit. Because, you know, when you're not invited back, that's the thing that you think, right? Like, I don't think I was funny, and I don't think that I'm great, and that's why they didn't invite me back. And you just fed into that fear.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  But you just said that.

• 1:15:21Bobby Lee?

  What do you mean?

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  You just said.

• 1:15:24Bobby Lee?

  You're being gaslit right now. I am, right?

• 1:15:26Speaker 01

  I don't think I'm funny.

• 1:15:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:27Speaker 01

  That's why they didn't ask.

• 1:15:28Bobby Lee?

  No, no, you said it first.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  And you, you.

• 1:15:31Bobby Lee?

  It might be a gas.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  What do they call that? You manifested it.

• 1:15:34Bobby Lee?

  They're gonna study this in schools. In schools, yeah, that was very sly. Yeah, I feel like you said it, but okay, let's move on.

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  No, I don't, I don't know. I think, I think if you called and said, I want to come back, they'd have you back.

• 1:15:47Bobby Lee?

  No, I asked and they go, no, it's not the right fit or something. You know what I mean? But, um, anyway.

• 1:15:54Speaker 01

  That was like the pilot episode.

• 1:15:56Bobby Lee?

  That is a great show and you're on, you're still, you're a regular on that show.

• 1:16:02Speaker 01

  Who is in the back right? Is that Anthony Anderson?

• 1:16:04Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. Yeah. And then Paulie Shore. And Caroline Ray? Yep.

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:16:09Bobby Lee?

  And Polly? What a show.

• 1:16:11Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh.

• 1:16:12Bobby Lee?

  Is that Dave Coulier?

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:16:15Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. Wow.

• 1:16:17Speaker 01

  I don't remember that.

• 1:16:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So let's do some prayers.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  Wait, move over. I can't see me.

• 1:16:23Bobby Lee?

  Move it, move that.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  Are you cutting me out? How rude.

• 1:16:26Bobby Lee?

  Zoom in on John. Wow, look at him.

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  Look at that skin.

• 1:16:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:30Speaker 01

  Smooth.

• 1:16:33Bobby Lee?

  Purple on you looks good. You look like a fucking Teletubby. But anyway, um. Are you a Teletubby, dude? What the fuck?

• 1:16:39Speaker 01

  Are you? Are you? That's your comeback? Are you a Teletubby? No, I'm not. You are though. You're a fat Teletubby.

• 1:16:48Bobby Lee?

  Oh.

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. You want to go there?

• 1:16:51Bobby Lee?

  No, I don't. I don't want to go there with you, okay? I love you. John, John, I love you. We all love you.

• 1:16:59Speaker 01

  But you were just trying to mean.

• 1:17:01Bobby Lee?

  No. You just said that wasn't funny.

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  Jerry, kill.

• 1:17:08Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So what is your, so?

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  No, I think you're hilarious.

• 1:17:12Bobby Lee?

  I know you do.

• 1:17:13Speaker 01

  The people on the show didn't.

• 1:17:21Bobby Lee?

  So your dream is-

• 1:17:22Speaker 01

  No, I don't know why.

• 1:17:22Bobby Lee?

  Your dad's coming back?

• 1:17:23Speaker 01

  I think if he has to come back, they'd have you back.

• 1:17:25Bobby Lee?

  So you're coming back on that show, and then what else? You're gonna do some road dates?

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  With Dice.

• 1:17:30Bobby Lee?

  With Dice?

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  And then we're working on a, uh...

• 1:17:32Bobby Lee?

  And then July you'll be in the... The... What is that called?

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  Capitol Theater?

• 1:17:37Bobby Lee?

  What's the Don- What's the Donia Improv Comedy Theater? Dan- Oh, Donia Beach.

• 1:17:42Speaker 01

  It's the Improv in Donia Beach.

• 1:17:43Bobby Lee?

  Okay, Donia Beach.

• 1:17:45Speaker 01

  It's in Florida.

• 1:17:46Bobby Lee?

  And then January 18th, we got Andrew Dice Clay with Jon Lovitz at the Capitol Theater, Portchester, New York. That's a great show.

• 1:17:53Speaker 01

  Can I open?

• 1:17:55Bobby Lee?

  Ooh. Can I open?

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  Well...

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  You don't have to answer now. I don't know, I...

• 1:18:05Bobby Lee?

  Just say no. It's easy to say no.

• 1:18:08Speaker 01

  It's not up- First of all, it's a show. Secondly, I've never seen you perform. Maybe you're great and hilarious, I don't know. Don't go by me. And don't go by him.

• 1:18:20Bobby Lee?

  Jared especially would be perfect, because he's unlike you guys. He's very clean. You know what I mean? And he's also... Then, I wouldn't have anyone on this podcast who wasn't the next thing up. We only have killers on this podcast.

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  The next thing...

• 1:18:34Bobby Lee?

  Up in the business.

• 1:18:35Speaker 01

  Up...

• 1:18:36Bobby Lee?

  Not the butthole, no.

• 1:18:39Bobby Lee?

  Not the butthole, no.

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  You said it.

• 1:18:42Bobby Lee?

  I just said "next thing up." Period.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  And then you looked at me, you mouthed the words...

• 1:18:50Speaker 01

  "I wouldn't have anyone on this show that wasn't the next thing up."

• 1:18:57Speaker 01

  "Clear as a bell."

• 1:18:59Bobby Lee?

  As a bell. I guess I'm gay then, Jon.

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  No, I don't know.

• 1:19:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  Jon, don't repeat what I say when I do that. I just heard you whisper it. I just heard you.

• 1:19:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So Jon, you want anything else? How'd you- Do you have a good time on this podcast?

• 1:19:17Speaker 01

  Is it over?

• 1:19:17Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we just do an hour.

• 1:19:19Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  Hey, I loved you on the Benchwarmers, too.

• 1:19:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I could stay longer, but you're done, I guess.

• 1:19:26Bobby Lee?

  No, we only do an hour.

• 1:19:27Speaker 01

  You liked me on Benchwarmers, thank you. Sorry, somebody was giving me a compliment and you can't stand it!

• 1:19:36Bobby Lee?

  Did you have fun, John?

• 1:19:38Speaker 01

  Yes, thank you for having me on your show.

• 1:19:40Bobby Lee?

  I would love to.

• 1:19:41Speaker 01

  I hear this is a big podcast, is that true?

• 1:19:43Bobby Lee?

  Pretty big.

• 1:19:44Speaker 01

  How big?

• 1:19:44Bobby Lee?

  Top 50.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:19:46Bobby Lee?

  In comedy, yeah.

• 1:19:47Speaker 01

  That's huge.

• 1:19:48Bobby Lee?

  We were last week, right?

• 1:19:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, top 50 in the US on YouTube last week.

• 1:19:51Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:19:52Speaker 06

  YouTube is the biggest.

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  There's 4 million podcasts?

• 1:19:54Bobby Lee?

  I know.

• 1:19:56Speaker 01

  Try starting one now.

• 1:19:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, but Bad Friends, my other one is top what?

• 1:20:01Speaker 06

  It's also a brand new podcast.

• 1:20:02Bobby Lee?

  Sorry What with Jared Goldstein.

• 1:20:04Speaker 06

  That's me, yeah.

• 1:20:05Bobby Lee?

  There you are.

• 1:20:06Speaker 01

  Oh, you are Jewish?

• 1:20:07Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, I am.

• 1:20:08Speaker 06

  And that's my Jewish podcast, tune in. Would you be on it?

• 1:20:17Speaker 06

  Let me open for you.

• 1:20:20Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  I don't want you to open for me.

• 1:20:22Bobby Lee?

  John, you're gonna love him.

• 1:20:24Speaker 01

  Keep your legs closed.

• 1:20:28Bobby Lee?

  Jared is so funny, John.

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  I'm sure you are.

• 1:20:32Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  I, you know.

• 1:20:33Bobby Lee?

  Have you heard of the show?

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  There's so many comedians, you know.

• 1:20:36Bobby Lee?

  Have you heard of the show Black Mirror?

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:20:40Bobby Lee?

  Okay, he was on an episode.

• 1:20:42Speaker 06

  Which one?

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  This is me. One time.

• 1:20:45Speaker 06

  Don't argue.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  When the ratings were like of TV, right? This is years ago. So I was in this acting class and my friend points to this girl in the class during a scene, a blonde girl, and she goes, "What is she doing here?" I go, "Who?" "To her." I go, "I don't know." She goes, "What is she doing here?" I go, "What do you mean? She's taking the acting class." "Don't you know who that is?" "No." "She's on the show Dallas."

• 1:21:14Bobby Lee?

  Wow.

• 1:21:15Speaker 01

  Dallas was like the number one show on television.

• 1:21:17Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  Like 50 million people a week watched it.

• 1:21:19Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:21:20Speaker 01

  I go, "What's that?"

• 1:21:23Speaker 01

  She goes, "The number one show on TV." "What, Dallas?"

• 1:21:27Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  "I don't know." It was Charlene Tilton.

• 1:21:30Bobby Lee?

  Never heard of her.

• 1:21:31Speaker 01

  It was, she's huge. Way better than you and me. Huge.

• 1:21:38Bobby Lee?

  That's her.

• 1:21:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's very nice.

• 1:21:40Bobby Lee?

  Is she still alive?

• 1:21:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:42Bobby Lee?

  Thank God.

• 1:21:42Speaker 01

  But I didn't know who she... I... It was the first year of the show. And it was a phenom show, you know?

• 1:21:48Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:48Speaker 01

  That's how out... That's what I'm saying is, I'm out of it. I... A lot of this... I'm just out.

• 1:21:53Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, everyone's out. Everyone... There's just too much. Too many people doing it now, John.

• 1:21:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21:58Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we're like all lost in the wind.

• 1:22:00Speaker 01

  Thank God.

• 1:22:00Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. What do you mean?

• 1:22:03Speaker 00

  I don't know who that is. Is she dead? Thank God. She married Johnny?

• 1:22:07Bobby Lee?

  I think she's still alive, I mean.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's still alive. She's very nice.

• 1:22:11Speaker 00

  Did she marry Asian guy, Johnny Lee?

• 1:22:13Speaker 01

  She's about as tall as you.

• 1:22:14Bobby Lee?

  She's... Yes, she is.

• 1:22:15Speaker 00

  How old was Charlene?

• 1:22:16Bobby Lee?

  I'm five-three.

• 1:22:18Speaker 01

  Oh, you were taller...

• 1:22:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:20Speaker 01

  What, you're five-three?

• 1:22:20Bobby Lee?

  I'm five-three, five-four, yeah.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought you were taller than Shaquille O'Neal.

• 1:22:24Bobby Lee?

  Uh-uh. Well, that joke is, uh, the ninth time you've called me that.

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  Well...

• 1:22:29Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:30Speaker 01

  And redheads are black.

• 1:22:30Bobby Lee?

  What a pro, what a pro, what a pro.

• 1:22:32Speaker 01

  Redheads are black people.

• 1:22:33Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah. And you look like a television...

• 1:22:35Speaker 01

  Well, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard.

• 1:22:37Bobby Lee?

  What?

• 1:22:39Speaker 01

  That the color red is now black?

• 1:22:42Bobby Lee?

  Oh, yeah, red... Redheaded people, not the color, the people are now black.

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  How... What does that even mean?

• 1:22:50Bobby Lee?

  Just accept it, is what it means.

• 1:22:54Bobby Lee?

  They make the rules.

• 1:22:55Speaker 01

  If they had freckles, and somehow the freckles all connected...

• 1:23:02Speaker 01

  I could see it.

• 1:23:03Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is pre... Not connected to freckles, yeah, yeah. So, John, you want to promote anything else?

• 1:23:18Speaker 01

  I can't think of anything.

• 1:23:19Bobby Lee?

  Yeah. So, The Road, and you got...

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  Stand-up, I appreciate it, stand-up.

• 1:23:23Bobby Lee?

  Any new projects out, working on?

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  Maybe Happy Gilmore. Well, we'll see. Maybe I'll come back if the... If these things go through.

• 1:23:30Bobby Lee?

  Did you get into Happy Gilmore 2?

• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yes.

• 1:23:33Bobby Lee?

  I'm in that too.

• 1:23:34Speaker 01

  You are?

• 1:23:35Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:23:36Speaker 01

  Nice. Well, that lesson's my value.

• 1:23:41Speaker 01

  I'm in it, but we had to sign an NDA.

• 1:23:43Bobby Lee?

  I did, oh yeah, we can't, we gotta cut that out. Yeah, yeah, sorry.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  No, no, we can, no, I asked Adam Taylor, we can say we're in it.

• 1:23:49Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:50Speaker 01

  But can't say what we did, the scene or...

• 1:23:51Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, we're in it.

• 1:23:52Speaker 00

  Okay, cool.

• 1:23:53Bobby Lee?

  Okay, keep it in.

• 1:23:54Speaker 01

  Yes, I have a very funny, uh, scene in it.

• 1:23:57Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, so you got parts in that?

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  I bet you are. I have a cameo.

• 1:24:01Bobby Lee?

  A little cameo, yeah, yeah. I have a cameo, so I have one line.

• 1:24:03Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm on Cameo, the app Cameo, are you?

• 1:24:06Bobby Lee?

  No, I'm not a whore in that way.

• 1:24:09Speaker 01

  What's this?

• 1:24:11Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:12Speaker 01

  Hey, John, it's your birthday. I'll do this for money, but I won't do this for money, but I'll do this for money.

• 1:24:18Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:20Speaker 00

  Ooh, John's listening as a fan favorite.

• 1:24:21Speaker 01

  I'm not an idiot.

• 1:24:22Bobby Lee?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:23Speaker 01

  I'm sure you're very funny, but in Bobby's eyes, you're also a demographic.

• 1:24:29Speaker 00

  Just call me a faggot.

• 1:24:30Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:24:32Speaker 01

  A demo-fa-

• 1:24:36Bobby Lee?

  So, uh, you, do you do well, how many, how many, um, of these do you do a week, cameos?

• 1:24:43Speaker 00

  He's a fan favorite, wow.

• 1:24:45Speaker 01

  I don't know, I told you, yeah, I do well. You know, look, did you ever, did you ever sign an autograph?

• 1:24:50Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:24:50Speaker 01

  Did you ever take a picture with somebody?

• 1:24:52Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:24:53Speaker 01

  So this is like, uh, it's a video, uh, it's the same thing.

• 1:24:57Bobby Lee?

  Right.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  Except you're making a little video for them and they, they love it.

• 1:25:00Bobby Lee?

  Well, let's give-

• 1:25:01Speaker 01

  And that will be the end of that.

• 1:25:03Bobby Lee?

  Let's give John Lovitz a round of applause, what a, what, what an appearance. You gotta come back one day. Would you do it again, would you do it again?

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:12Bobby Lee?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:13Speaker 01

  Considering this will be your best podcast you've done.

• 1:25:17Bobby Lee?

  Yes.

• 1:25:21Speaker 01

  Was he the best ga- guest ever? Well, he was the funniest.

• 1:25:27Bobby Lee?

  Very good.

• 1:25:28Speaker 00

  Jared, what's your handle and what does your show come?

• 1:25:30Speaker 06

  It's at Hey Jared Hey, and I'll be in Pittsburgh.

• 1:25:34Speaker 01

  You have two?

• 1:25:37Speaker 06

  June 12th.

• 1:25:38Speaker 01

  And you do them both?

• 1:26:01Speaker 05

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