John Stamos asks about first concerts

John Stamos defined "handsome" for a generation, and today the "Full House" and "ER" star graces us with a question about first concerts! Plus, gifts from our listeners, the return of Frau Troffea, and "a homosexual in an automobile"! Also, we have new PRIDE MONTH merch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepod and Hulu https://www.hulu.com/series/b583d0bc-eeb0-4560-8b2b-5c8ae0248a19?play=false&utm_source=shared_linkThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:05Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Fortune Feimster?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website. With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time.

• 1:19Fortune Feimster?

  Squarespace makes it easy, so easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 1:38Mae Martin?

  Hey, Handsome's big announcement. Just in time for Pride Month and the start of summer, we got some amazing new merch.

• 1:45Tig Notaro?

  That's right, we've got a handsome tank top, handsome tie-dye, a new handsome hat, and even a gorgeous new handsome bandana. So go to HandsomePod.com and get you some.

• 2:03Mae Martin?

  Welcome to the handsome pod. I'm Mae Martin.

• 2:13Tig Notaro?

  I'm Tig Notaro.

• 2:14Fortune Feimster?

  I'm Fortune Feimster.

• 2:15Tig Notaro?

  And you are listening and watching maybe the handsome pod.

• 2:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And today we're in the good hand studio presented by Allstate.

• 2:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, we are.

• 2:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, we sure are. We appreciate them supporting our pod.

• 2:28Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh. And we appreciate all of our listeners and watchers.

• 2:32Fortune Feimster?

  Thank you guys for tuning in.

• 2:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah. You might be able to tell. We're all delighted to be here.

• 2:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yes, we are.

• 2:38Tig Notaro?

  We sure are little cowboy.

• 2:39Fortune Feimster?

  Tig, I have on some Canadian tuxedos.

• 2:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:43Tig Notaro?

  And what do you have? Boom.

• 2:46Mae Martin?

  I'm rocking a Wyoming hoodie. I don't.

• 2:50Fortune Feimster?

  Little cowboy hoodie.

• 2:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 2:52Tig Notaro?

  Where'd you get it?

• 2:53Mae Martin?

  Um, you want to check for me?

• 2:55Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 2:56Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 2:56Mae Martin?

  Is it? I think it might be Cherry, Los Angeles.

• 3:00Fortune Feimster?

  Okay.

• 3:00Tig Notaro?

  I guess I just meant, where did you get it?

• 3:02Fortune Feimster?

  It looks cozy.

• 3:03Mae Martin?

  Oh, online.

• 3:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh, oh, okay.

• 3:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah, not in Wyoming. Never been there.

• 3:07Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 3:07Fortune Feimster?

  You've never been?

• 3:08Mae Martin?

  Never been.

• 3:08Fortune Feimster?

  Actually, I've never been to Wyoming either.

• 3:10Tig Notaro?

  Two against one.

• 3:11Fortune Feimster?

  And I've been to most of the states.

• 3:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah. What's Wyoming known for?

• 3:16Tig Notaro?

  That.

• 3:16Mae Martin?

  This.

• 3:17Tig Notaro?

  Horses.

• 3:18Mae Martin?

  Horses.

• 3:18Tig Notaro?

  And cowboys.

• 3:19Fortune Feimster?

  Cowboys.

• 3:20Mae Martin?

  I have a lot of friends getting into horse therapy where you go and the horses breathe on you. They, you lie there and then the horses like smell your trauma or something and they come up and they put their big old noses on you.

• 3:30Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know about this.

• 3:31Tig Notaro?

  Big old horse snout?

• 3:32Mae Martin?

  Their big old horse snout.

• 3:33Fortune Feimster?

  Horse snout.

• 3:34Mae Martin?

  And just go like, and then you go, huh, that's better.

• 3:37Tig Notaro?

  Oh, boy. We are really looking to heal ourselves, aren't we?

• 3:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:45Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you guys are searching right now.

• 3:47Mae Martin?

  Maybe a horse.

• 3:47Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, maybe a horse breathes on me with their messy little snout.

• 3:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 3:54Tig Notaro?

  Then it'll all be okay.

• 3:55Fortune Feimster?

  It'll be fun.

• 3:56Mae Martin?

  I have a bit in my show that's like about a meme I saw that's like, when you look into, it's a photo of a horse's eye and it's said, when you look into the eye of a horse, you're looking at the parts of yourself that you're too afraid to heal. And I kind of make fun of it. And then at the meet and greet, this woman was like, uh, no, you are, that is true. And she said, I have a horse therapy farm and you're invited and I have seven horses and. You will heal your inner child by looking in their eyes. And listen, I don't doubt it.

• 4:23Fortune Feimster?

  Listen.

• 4:24Mae Martin?

  Sorry to the horse community.

• 4:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:25Tig Notaro?

  And what is the saying, like, don't look a gift horse in the eyes?

• 4:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 4:29Tig Notaro?

  So, uh, there's that.

• 4:31Fortune Feimster?

  Is it in the mouth?

• 4:32Mae Martin?

  Don't, oh, in the mouth.

• 4:33Tig Notaro?

  In the mouth, yeah. Well, you know, I'm not a perfect person.

• 4:38Fortune Feimster?

  I'm not a perfect person. I haven't thought about that song in forever.

• 4:45Mae Martin?

  And it's funny that all three of us know that one.

• 4:47Fortune Feimster?

  Guys, three on three.

• 4:49Mae Martin?

  Three on three.

• 4:50Tig Notaro?

  Is that the first time? Maybe. Also, it sounds a lot sexier than it is.

• 4:54Mae Martin?

  Three on three.

• 4:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 4:58Mae Martin?

  Guys, I am excited because before we came to record.

• 5:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:03Mae Martin?

  Thomas reminded me that I had said that, because people have been bringing me things on tour, little trinkets and gifts.

• 5:08Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 5:09Mae Martin?

  And Thomas was like, don't forget to bring some stuff. And so I manically started ripping open these. There's, I have 12 boxes of stuff.

• 5:17Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 5:17Mae Martin?

  And so I couldn't bring it all, but I brought stuff that's.

• 5:20Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, we wanted it all.

• 5:23Fortune Feimster?

  I'm kidding.

• 5:24Mae Martin?

  I do need help going through it, but I brought stuff that relates to us, the three of us, or I don't even know what I brought, actually, but let's see.

• 5:31Fortune Feimster?

  I brought two things as well that.

• 5:33Tig Notaro?

  Also, it's okay if mostly none of them are for me.

• 5:38Mae Martin?

  No, they are.

• 5:39Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, thank you, Thomas. I also, a lovely fan brought some, uh, no, actually, this fan sent these to my mom for you guys. And one for me as well.

• 5:52Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 5:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so I'll hand that out.

• 5:53Mae Martin?

  So this is, so I've been handed some beautiful cufflinks that say District A, Ontario, Canada. That's where I'm from.

• 6:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, open it now.

• 6:06Mae Martin?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 6:07Fortune Feimster?

  Isn't that cool?

• 6:08Mae Martin?

  Maybe this person makes cufflinks.

• 6:10Fortune Feimster?

  And this, and this is some kind of jewel keychain that Tig has, an emerald-looking jewel.

• 6:16Mae Martin?

  Did you get an emerald?

• 6:18Tig Notaro?

  Maybe.

• 6:19Fortune Feimster?

  Was there a note?

• 6:19Tig Notaro?

  Tig. Exo.

• 6:22Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know who it's from.

• 6:23Mae Martin?

  Angela.

• 6:24Tig Notaro?

  Angela.

• 6:24Fortune Feimster?

  It's from Angela. Thank you, Angela.

• 6:26Tig Notaro?

  Angela, how did you know?

• 6:27Fortune Feimster?

  I could see you wearing those cufflinks.

• 6:29Mae Martin?

  I honestly would, yeah.

• 6:31Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, those are cool.

• 6:32Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 6:33Fortune Feimster?

  What is it?

• 6:34Tig Notaro?

  It's this.

• 6:35Fortune Feimster?

  No, but it's a keychain.

• 6:37Mae Martin?

  It's a hair clip.

• 6:38Fortune Feimster?

  It's a hair clip keychain?

• 6:41Mae Martin?

  Tig has put it in her hair.

• 6:43Fortune Feimster?

  I got one something too, but I forgot to bring it in.

• 6:45Tig Notaro?

  Go to Hulu. Go to Hulu.

• 6:47Mae Martin?

  That is really well chosen for you. That is beautiful.

• 6:50Tig Notaro?

  I mean, how would you not think I gotta get this for Tig?

• 6:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's definitely Tig-coded.

• 6:55Tig Notaro?

  A hair clip keychain.

• 6:57Mae Martin?

  Do you think these are vintage things?

• 6:59Fortune Feimster?

  They look vintage.

• 7:00Mae Martin?

  Yeah, these really do.

• 7:01Tig Notaro?

  It doesn't look brand new plasticky.

• 7:03Mae Martin?

  I'm going to a wedding soon of people I've never met.

• 7:07Tig Notaro?

  Oh, do they know you're coming?

• 7:09Mae Martin?

  They know I'm coming, but I want to make a splash.

• 7:13Tig Notaro?

  Can I tell you?

• 7:13Fortune Feimster?

  Those are the shape of a maple leaf, right?

• 7:15Mae Martin?

  Yeah, these are Canadian cufflinks.

• 7:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I went to, I know on a previous episode, why are you laughing?

• 7:22Fortune Feimster?

  Are you gonna leave that in your hair?

• 7:23Tig Notaro?

  Why not?

• 7:24Mae Martin?

  Because the little keychain that is dangling and swaying.

• 7:28Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. But on a previous episode, I talked about my ex who wrote the song "Kevin's in Heaven."

• 7:34Mae Martin?

  Yep.

• 7:35Tig Notaro?

  Well, she and I went to a wedding when we lived in Austin. And we were not invited. We crashed the wedding.

• 7:44Mae Martin?

  Was it someone you knew? Oh my God, Tig.

• 7:47Tig Notaro?

  And we wrapped a box that had a brick in it. And we got dressed up and we went and put the, it was at a hotel in downtown Austin. We put the gift on the table and then went and helped ourselves to a little...

• 8:04Fortune Feimster?

  To the food and drink?

• 8:06Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. But the whole time, we were terrified. Like, we didn't execute it perfectly. Did I also tell you when I lived in Austin, we set up a drum set and played French horn in the middle of a golf course? That's the same one. But anyway, so we dropped off the wrapped brick that was in a box.

• 8:26Fortune Feimster?

  Seems like a hate crime.

• 8:30Tig Notaro?

  And, uh, and we wandered around very awkwardly, like, oh my God, do you think they know they have to know?

• 8:36Fortune Feimster?

  Did anyone talk to you?

• 8:37Tig Notaro?

  Nobody said anything. I have to, I have to ask her. I don't remember anybody saying, I think we chickened out after a while and we left. But it was so worth it, but it was, we weren't as cool as we, we thought we were gonna be.

• 8:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Favorite part of, yes?

• 8:51Tig Notaro?

  Well, just like that we would like, yeah, hang out and just have a funny, fun story. But the only fun part of it is we dropped a brick off and ate some food and ran out.

• 9:01Fortune Feimster?

  I hope the couple's watching right now, like, oh my God, that's where that brick came from.

• 9:06Mae Martin?

  Somewhere, there's a couple, yeah, who's, maybe they have like.

• 9:09Tig Notaro?

  We gave them a story.

• 9:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but maybe they were like, oh, that was definitely from our cousin or, or one of their exes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:17Fortune Feimster?

  Mystery solved. Why are you going to a wedding where you don't know the people? Are you a plus one?

• 9:22Mae Martin?

  I'm a plus one. Yeah, but I'm, I'm pumped.

• 9:24Tig Notaro?

  You should bring a brick.

• 9:26Mae Martin?

  I'll bring a brick. The brick is crazy. That's another level of a prank. That's like to, to wrap the, right, I, yeah.

• 9:33Tig Notaro?

  I don't know why we, why didn't we just get them like a dish or something?

• 9:36Mae Martin?

  Right, yeah.

• 9:37Tig Notaro?

  That's the least we could have done.

• 9:39Fortune Feimster?

  A brick seems very random.

• 9:41Tig Notaro?

  Or we could have set up our band that we set up in a golf course.

• 9:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah, just be the wedding band.

• 9:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we could have just brought the drum set and the French horn and been like, rock it.

• 9:50Mae Martin?

  That's all you need musically. The drums and the French horn together. No rhythm guitar.

• 9:55Tig Notaro?

  Keep in mind, keep in mind, we set that up in the middle of a golf course in the middle of the night. So people were hearing drums and French horn and nobody knew.

• 10:05Fortune Feimster?

  Those are two things you don't want to hear in the day versus the night, together.

• 10:09Tig Notaro?

  How dare you?

• 10:10Fortune Feimster?

  Together. They're lovely and separate.

• 10:13Tig Notaro?

  It was a grand old time.

• 10:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, the French horn is, I, the only, I, I only know it from that, uh, song For No One by The Beatles. It has the French horn solo. That's the only French horn on it. It's like.

• 10:26Tig Notaro?

  Well, my ex plays it.

• 10:27Mae Martin?

  Okay, amazing.

• 10:28Fortune Feimster?

  All right, what's in the box?

• 10:29Mae Martin?

  So first of all, I'm gonna show you this. This is for me, but you guys, I hope will recognize what this is.

• 10:35Fortune Feimster?

  I see.

• 10:36Tig Notaro?

  You don't have to pull everything out and say, this is for me.

• 10:38Mae Martin?

  This is for me.

• 10:40Fortune Feimster?

  What if everything is for me and we're just.

• 10:42Tig Notaro?

  Now, this is for me.

• 10:43Fortune Feimster?

  This is for me, not you guys. Okay.

• 10:45Mae Martin?

  So I'm holding up a, a framed piece of art that someone gave me and.

• 10:49Fortune Feimster?

  I like the colors.

• 10:49Tig Notaro?

  Is it us?

• 10:50Mae Martin?

  It's actually Frau Troffea.

• 10:54Fortune Feimster?

  I should have known that.

• 10:56Mae Martin?

  It's Frau Trophia and starting the dance plague.

• 10:58Fortune Feimster?

  And people were, I love that.

• 11:00Mae Martin?

  Looking like they're about to die. The townspeople are freaking out.

• 11:04Fortune Feimster?

  Dance till you die?

• 11:05Mae Martin?

  Dance until you die.

• 11:06Tig Notaro?

  How did that merch do?

• 11:08Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know.

• 11:08Tig Notaro?

  Frau Trophia.

• 11:09Mae Martin?

  I haven't seen that one around as much.

• 11:12Fortune Feimster?

  I gotta say. Sometimes, every now and then, one of y'all will write about a merch item and I'm like, that is so niche.

• 11:20Tig Notaro?

  Frau Trophia, we gotta Dance Academy.

• 11:24Fortune Feimster?

  I'm like, we can put it out there, let's try.

• 11:26Tig Notaro?

  I want one of those still. That's a good, good shirt. I stand by it.

• 11:31Mae Martin?

  I'm just realizing that the one, the main thing I wanted to bring, I forgot to bring.

• 11:36Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, what was it?

• 11:37Mae Martin?

  It was, someone made all three of us, but they're little birds and they're, and they have our hair. Oh, I can't believe it.

• 11:45Fortune Feimster?

  The next one you can show us.

• 11:47Mae Martin?

  Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:48Tig Notaro?

  There's more time.

• 11:49Mae Martin?

  Yeah, there's more time.

• 11:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, this isn't our last one.

• 11:51Tig Notaro?

  Unless a tragedy happens.

• 11:52Fortune Feimster?

  We've passed a couple of Aprils now.

• 11:54Mae Martin?

  Okay, this simply says, for Tig and Fortune, keep it handsome with love.

• 11:58Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, are we supposed to share this?

• 11:59Mae Martin?

  From Minnesota. There's two books in here that I can feel, but I don't know what they are. You wanna open it?

• 12:03Fortune Feimster?

  Sure. It's like Christmas. Oh my gosh.

• 12:06Mae Martin?

  For Tig and Fortune, that's from someone in Minnesota.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  I really love the Frau Trophia.

• 12:12Mae Martin?

  Isn't it good? I'm gonna put it up in my house. I really love it.

• 12:14Tig Notaro?

  No, I know, it's yours.

• 12:16Mae Martin?

  Yeah, and I can't remember the name of the person who did this.

• 12:18Fortune Feimster?

  It is yours.

• 12:19Mae Martin?

  It's mine, by the way.

• 12:21Fortune Feimster?

  All right, let's see what we got here. Okay.

• 12:23Tig Notaro?

  What is it?

• 12:24Fortune Feimster?

  It's a book.

• 12:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:25Fortune Feimster?

  Called Breaking Up with the Patriarchy.

• 12:28Tig Notaro?

  Wait, wait, May, this makes me nervous that you're gonna get out and step on your Frau Trophia. Breaking up with the patriarchy.

• 12:35Fortune Feimster?

  And I happened to pick the one for me and I didn't even look inside it.

• 12:39Mae Martin?

  Wait, it's really funny that those are just for you two and I didn't get one.

• 12:42Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 12:42Mae Martin?

  Wait, maybe you, is it because she knows I love the D?

• 12:44Tig Notaro?

  Well, because you are the patriarch.

• 12:46Fortune Feimster?

  Are you the patriarch?

• 12:47Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. And they want you to break up with me?

• 12:50Tig Notaro?

  Okay, so dear Tig, you are, you are a star shining, your beautiful light into this world.

• 12:57Fortune Feimster?

  Oh.

• 12:57Tig Notaro?

  Here's to dispelling darkness, Sarah.

• 13:00Fortune Feimster?

  I guess I should read my kind note too then. Fortune Marie, your ability to share joy and kindness is such an act of resistance. Keep crushing it and as always, keep it handsome. With love from Minnesota, Heather, and up here, Fortune Marie, keep it handsome. From Su- Susan. Two people.

• 13:20Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 13:20Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, maybe this is Susan who wrote it.

• 13:22Tig Notaro?

  What are you, a detective?

• 13:23Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:23Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a detective.

• 13:25Tig Notaro?

  Hey.

• 13:26Fortune Feimster?

  Hey, I'm breaking up with the patriarchy.

• 13:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, out goes May.

• 13:31Mae Martin?

  Well, we've all got three crocheted pineapples here.

• 13:34Tig Notaro?

  Got to.

• 13:35Fortune Feimster?

  Keeping a pineapple apart.

• 13:37Mae Martin?

  One of them looks a little different to the other two, so I'll take that one. It might have been from someone else.

• 13:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, because you're special.

• 13:43Mae Martin?

  Well, thank you.

• 13:44Tig Notaro?

  Two against one. This is the epitome of two against one.

• 13:47Mae Martin?

  Um, this I just thought might be fun to show everyone because someone was like, I had to give you this. And it's a plastic corn cob. I thought it was a dildo. It's a plastic corn cob that...

• 13:57Fortune Feimster?

  I bet some people have used that as a dildo.

• 13:59Mae Martin?

  For sure.

• 14:00Fortune Feimster?

  Because, you know, with the right amount of lube.

• 14:03Mae Martin?

  Anything could be a dildo.

• 14:07Mae Martin?

  Take it.

• 14:07Tig Notaro?

  This hurts. It looks so bad.

• 14:10Fortune Feimster?

  It looks like it hurts, but the bit...

• 14:12Tig Notaro?

  It's not worth the bit.

• 14:13Fortune Feimster?

  The bit was worth it for a second.

• 14:14Tig Notaro?

  It's not. It's not.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Wait, can I turn this way?

• 14:17Tig Notaro?

  It's so painful.

• 14:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, take it off then.

• 14:20Tig Notaro?

  It hurts so bad. It's just pinching.

• 14:24Fortune Feimster?

  Take... Oh, God. It's gonna put a hole in your ear.

• 14:28Mae Martin?

  It's...

• 14:29Fortune Feimster?

  See, though. What a bit. What a bit.

• 14:31Tig Notaro?

  Man, what to do with these keychains.

• 14:35Fortune Feimster?

  So many keychains.

• 14:37Tig Notaro?

  The jewelry keychains. Oh, my gosh.

• 14:39Fortune Feimster?

  So what is this corn on the cob thing?

• 14:41Mae Martin?

  Well, I haven't tried... Oh, that's really strong. To attach the keychains together.

• 14:47Tig Notaro?

  Yes. You'll have to go to Hulu where we stream now.

• 14:51Mae Martin?

  Okay, this, I haven't tried it yet, but this is this plastic corn cob dildo thing that... And I'm gonna press the button and see what it does.

• 14:59Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yeah, that's a dildo, for sure.

• 15:11Mae Martin?

  Imagine this was your dildo.

• 15:13Tig Notaro?

  Wait, even back up. Imagine...

• 15:16Mae Martin?

  It's still going. It's... This is long.

• 15:18Fortune Feimster?

  We don't know how to stop it. We literally can't stop it.

• 15:20Tig Notaro?

  Imagine...

• 15:22Tig Notaro?

  The mind behind this creation. And people believed in it.

• 15:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:28Tig Notaro?

  And mass produced it.

• 15:30Fortune Feimster?

  I should tell you guys that I do sell these.

• 15:32Mae Martin?

  This is your...

• 15:34Fortune Feimster?

  That's my voice.

• 15:36Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, Fortune. You sounded just like the corn cob.

• 15:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's because I sell it.

• 15:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, good for you.

• 15:43Mae Martin?

  That really does sound like your voice. Okay, I'm into this.

• 15:45Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 15:45Mae Martin?

  The idea of it.

• 15:46Tig Notaro?

  Or is it into you?

• 15:47Mae Martin?

  We'll see later.

• 15:49Tig Notaro?

  Hello.

• 15:49Fortune Feimster?

  Hello.

• 15:51Tig Notaro?

  Tig Marie.

• 15:52Mae Martin?

  Tig Marie.

• 15:53Tig Notaro?

  You know what I had fun doing the other night? When I was in some town.

• 15:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 15:58Tig Notaro?

  I'm really hitting those minor markets right now. And I called the town, whatever their name was.

• 16:05Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:05Tig Notaro?

  Let's just say Town Marie.

• 16:07Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 16:08Tig Notaro?

  And people enjoyed it.

• 16:09Fortune Feimster?

  I bet.

• 16:10Mae Martin?

  I like that a lot.

• 16:11Tig Notaro?

  Town Marie. They laughed at something inappropriate and...

• 16:15Fortune Feimster?

  That's perfect.

• 16:16Tig Notaro?

  It was, it was good. I'm gonna keep using that.

• 16:18Mae Martin?

  These are for all three of us. They're...

• 16:21Tig Notaro?

  Keys to the city?

• 16:23Fortune Feimster?

  Ooh.

• 16:24Mae Martin?

  They're stickers that were designed for us.

• 16:27Fortune Feimster?

  We're gonna have a hard time divvying these up.

• 16:29Tig Notaro?

  Is this a good episode?

• 16:30Mae Martin?

  I don't know. This is really not going the way I thought it would.

• 16:33Fortune Feimster?

  We can do a speed round of this.

• 16:35Mae Martin?

  Okay, speed round.

• 16:43Mae Martin?

  A book of useless facts.

• 16:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's for you.

• 16:46Fortune Feimster?

  That's for you, for sure.

• 16:48Mae Martin?

  In Malaysia, it is...

• 16:49Tig Notaro?

  No, thank you.

• 16:52Mae Martin?

  In Malaysia, it is illegal for restaurants to substitute toilet paper as table napkins.

• 16:57Tig Notaro?

  The end.

• 16:58Mae Martin?

  Repeat offenders go to jail.

• 17:00Fortune Feimster?

  Whoa. I think that you should memorize some of these and then present them as my facts.

• 17:05Mae Martin?

  Oh, and that's how I...

• 17:07Fortune Feimster?

  As you do.

• 17:07Mae Martin?

  That's the method to my madness.

• 17:10Fortune Feimster?

  Well, we don't want them read from the book.

• 17:12Mae Martin?

  No, you don't want one right now?

• 17:13Fortune Feimster?

  No. I mean, we just had one.

• 17:15Mae Martin?

  Well, I mean, here's a good one.

• 17:16Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, give it to us. I changed my mind.

• 17:20Mae Martin?

  Peter Pan and 101 Dalmatians are the only two classic Disney cartoons where, in which both parents are present and don't die in the movie.

• 17:28Fortune Feimster?

  For real?

• 17:29Mae Martin?

  That's so interesting.

• 17:30Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, that is a good fact.

• 17:31Tig Notaro?

  101 Dalmatians and what?

• 17:34Mae Martin?

  Um, Peter Pan.

• 17:35Tig Notaro?

  Peter Pan?

• 17:35Mae Martin?

  Peter Pan, yeah.

• 17:37Fortune Feimster?

  They don't like parents, both the parents being in the picture, apparently.

• 17:40Mae Martin?

  Somebody gave me a DVD of-

• 17:42Tig Notaro?

  Of The Golden Girls?

• 17:43Fortune Feimster?

  I think that's for me.

• 17:44Mae Martin?

  The complete first season of The Golden Girls.

• 17:46Fortune Feimster?

  But also, you've never watched it. I feel like you should watch it.

• 17:49Mae Martin?

  Should I? Okay.

• 17:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's for you.

• 17:51Mae Martin?

  I don't, these are all for me. I don't have a DVD player.

• 17:53Fortune Feimster?

  Another one for you.

• 17:54Mae Martin?

  And then-

• 17:55Tig Notaro?

  This is a selfish Christmas.

• 17:56Mae Martin?

  No!

• 17:58Tig Notaro?

  Just digging through a box.

• 18:00Mae Martin?

  I think it would have been better if I had those birds that looks like us.

• 18:04Tig Notaro?

  I think it made for really great audio.

• 18:06Fortune Feimster?

  I really do, too. Describing to people what we're pulling out of a box.

• 18:10Mae Martin?

  Wait, are you telling me this isn't good audio?

• 18:17Tig Notaro?

  Of course she sounds exactly like this man.

• 18:20Mae Martin?

  I haven't had my-

• 18:22Tig Notaro?

  Croutons?

• 18:23Mae Martin?

  Croutons.

• 18:26Fortune Feimster?

  I've had my croutons.

• 18:27Mae Martin?

  I see my dusty crouton.

• 18:30Tig Notaro?

  Excuse me, but she hasn't had her croutons.

• 18:36Fortune Feimster?

  Not till I get my croutons. Can I give you guys a good song?

• 18:42Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, I do appreciate you trekking all the way back home with these things. Did you have to fly with an air, in an airplane with this?

• 18:48Mae Martin?

  I shipped them. I had to ship 12 boxes.

• 18:50Tig Notaro?

  Did you go by train, by car, by box?

• 18:53Fortune Feimster?

  That would've been expensive to ship 12 boxes.

• 18:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, uh, but I wanna go through them all and-

• 19:00Tig Notaro?

  My grandmother always said automobile. Did your grandmother's?

• 19:04Mae Martin?

  Those were the days where you'd say homosexual, too, right? Automob- there, I saw a homo- I saw a homosexual in an automobile.

• 19:10Fortune Feimster?

  And they said the word queer back then.

• 19:12Mae Martin?

  Meaning like-

• 19:12Fortune Feimster?

  Meaning weird.

• 19:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I had the queerest night. I saw a homosexual in an automobile.

• 19:19Fortune Feimster?

  Now we're like, tell me more.

• 19:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 19:21Fortune Feimster?

  I was just like, weird.

• 19:22Tig Notaro?

  I think I'm gonna start using automobile more often.

• 19:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:25Fortune Feimster?

  Uh-huh.

• 19:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Well, I'm gonna hop in my automobile. Automobile. And speaking of automobile.

• 19:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:34Tig Notaro?

  I was so thankful that Stephanie could get on board with this feeling I was having. When we were driving down the road, I was like, this is so... Look, it's not like a huge breakthrough.

• 19:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:48Tig Notaro?

  But- When you see one person

• 19:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 19:52Tig Notaro?

  Automobile, just like by themselves.

• 19:56Mae Martin?

  Mm hmm.

• 19:57Tig Notaro?

  Driving.

• 19:58Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:58Tig Notaro?

  A contraption that is so large surrounding them.

• 20:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:03Tig Notaro?

  And they're just taking up that seat, but they're driving an engine and three other seats and a trunk.

• 20:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:10Tig Notaro?

  And

• 20:10Mae Martin?

  It's grotesque.

• 20:11Tig Notaro?

  It's so wildly piggish to just be driving.

• 20:16Fortune Feimster?

  Little piggies on the road.

• 20:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, little piggies on the road. I mean, when you see a car again, an automobile.

• 20:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 20:24Tig Notaro?

  And you really think about there is when, especially when there's one person, one little piggy.

• 20:29Fortune Feimster?

  And there's one little piggy.

• 20:30Mae Martin?

  How many pounds does a car weigh? Like, yeah.

• 20:32Fortune Feimster?

  A lot of pounds.

• 20:33Tig Notaro?

  And you're on one side in the front and then, and then you're not taking up any of the other space. And you're just a little piggy rolling down the road to your destination.

• 20:43Fortune Feimster?

  The problem is if you go solo like motorcycle, all the little piggies around you are dangerous.

• 20:48Tig Notaro?

  That's right.

• 20:49Fortune Feimster?

  Like, you're now in danger.

• 20:50Tig Notaro?

  Well, that's why I don't ride my motorcycle anymore.

• 20:53Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 20:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah. But that's such a like quintessential, like stoner thought, like where you're just something that you see every day and suddenly you go, what? Like, yeah.

• 21:02Tig Notaro?

  I looked at animals that way.

• 21:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:04Tig Notaro?

  Reese, I told you about that?

• 21:05Mae Martin?

  No, but I'm with you.

• 21:06Tig Notaro?

  I was just like, whoa.

• 21:08Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:09Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God, these furry creatures are living in our house. And it, and it feels like they were just created for us to have, even though that's not really what I think. But it, it, it just feels like we're in this storybook.

• 21:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:24Tig Notaro?

  And I don't know. Yeah, definitely. I'm not even on drugs.

• 21:28Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but I'm with you. Like I, the, the last time I, well, anyway, one

• 21:37Fortune Feimster?

  You're looking at both of us like, oh.

• 21:39Tig Notaro?

  May is editing in real time.

• 21:41Fortune Feimster?

  We have no idea what's coming up.

• 21:43Tig Notaro?

  What is it?

• 21:43Mae Martin?

  Well, just that it, the, I, it occurred, it occurred to me, um, just how good an Oreo is like I, and, and I hadn't thought about it.

• 21:52Fortune Feimster?

  An Ordeo or Oreo?

• 21:54Mae Martin?

  No, Oreo, Oreo. Um, and I was just like, God, imagine the person who Got that recipe like and like there's nothing but like

• 22:04Fortune Feimster?

  Who came up with it?

• 22:05Mae Martin?

  And when they perfected it, they went, that's it.

• 22:07Fortune Feimster?

  That's it.

• 22:07Mae Martin?

  We got it.

• 22:08Tig Notaro?

  There it is.

• 22:08Mae Martin?

  And like, what an amazing thing.

• 22:10Tig Notaro?

  I didn't like Oreos till I was an adult.

• 22:12Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 22:13Fortune Feimster?

  I still am not that into them.

• 22:14Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 22:15Fortune Feimster?

  But I like cookies and cream ice cream. Is that part of?

• 22:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's

• 22:19Fortune Feimster?

  Is that part of?

• 22:19Mae Martin?

  Pure Oreo city.

• 22:20Fortune Feimster?

  There you go. I like that.

• 22:21Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:22Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 22:22Fortune Feimster?

  But I don't really want an Oreo just to the cookie.

• 22:24Mae Martin?

  Oh, it's like I have a box in my house at all times.

• 22:27Tig Notaro?

  Really?

• 22:28Mae Martin?

  I know, I eat six in a row for sure.

• 22:30Tig Notaro?

  That's precious.

• 22:30Mae Martin?

  I love Oreos.

• 22:31Tig Notaro?

  Wait, six and then you move on?

• 22:33Mae Martin?

  Uh, no, like roughly six.

• 22:35Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 22:35Mae Martin?

  It could be seven, it could be five.

• 22:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, okay.

• 22:37Fortune Feimster?

  Do you all, do you like when they have different flavors like mint?

• 22:40Tig Notaro?

  Good question, Fortune.

• 22:42Mae Martin?

  Thank you. Yes, this is why we gotta be in person, you know? I swear, if I'd said that on Zoom, no follow up questions. I swear to God.

• 22:50Fortune Feimster?

  We'd all just be blank faces.

• 22:53Mae Martin?

  Mint, no, but I love the chocolate ones and I like a double stuffed. Do you like a double stuffed?

• 22:58Fortune Feimster?

  I would enjoy the double stuffed.

• 22:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:59Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, if there's too much cookie.

• 23:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:01Tig Notaro?

  Do you ever, uh, there's too much cookie?

• 23:03Fortune Feimster?

  I prefer the middle.

• 23:04Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 23:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I prefer the cookie with just a hint of middle.

• 23:07Mae Martin?

  Oh, interesting.

• 23:08Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, and

• 23:10Mae Martin?

  Interesting. Tell us more.

• 23:12Tig Notaro?

  This has to be our number one episode. We open a box of presents for May.

• 23:18Fortune Feimster?

  The topics that we cover are insane.

• 23:20Tig Notaro?

  But some people, they just want the cookie. They just want the, um, cream and, um,

• 23:27Mae Martin?

  You, like when you open it and there's some leftover on one, that's your perfect.

• 23:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, like a little more than that. Yeah, yeah, you get what I'm saying.

• 23:36Mae Martin?

  I get what you're saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta have some Oreos.

• 23:40Tig Notaro?

  I'm not into double stuffed though.

• 23:42Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 23:42Fortune Feimster?

  Right.

• 23:43Tig Notaro?

  But I could stack two.

• 23:44Mae Martin?

  Uh huh.

• 23:45Tig Notaro?

  And that'd be delicious. Oh, look at you. You have a new thing to play with.

• 23:48Fortune Feimster?

  Cause Oreos are

• 23:49Tig Notaro?

  Cause I saw your face.

• 23:50Mae Martin?

  I lit up.

• 23:51Fortune Feimster?

  Cause Oreos are vegan, right?

• 23:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, they're accidentally vegan.

• 23:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:55Tig Notaro?

  I believe Swedish fish are as well.

• 23:58Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 23:59Tig Notaro?

  Fish.

• 24:00Fortune Feimster?

  Swedish fish.

• 24:01Mae Martin?

  Fish are also vegan.

• 24:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 24:04Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, okay. Some treats for you.

• 24:07Tig Notaro?

  That's right. Sweet tarts, you know, things like that.

• 24:09Mae Martin?

  Okay. We tarts too.

• 24:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, people think, people confuse veganism with like no sugar.

• 24:15Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 24:16Tig Notaro?

  Or only healthy.

• 24:17Fortune Feimster?

  Right, right.

• 24:18Mae Martin?

  Or no gluten or something.

• 24:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh.

• 24:20Fortune Feimster?

  Cause you can eat french fries too.

• 24:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, well, i- if you get real in the weeds about it, how were they, like, what was the, the oil?

• 24:28Fortune Feimster?

  That's a lot of weeds.

• 24:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's a lot of weeds.

• 24:30Fortune Feimster?

  That's a lot of weeds, y'all.

• 24:32Tig Notaro?

  But yeah, I, I'm often in conversation with somebody where they're like, no, no, no, no gluten, these are all gluten free. And I'm like, I'm not gluten free.

• 24:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:42Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, um, but anyway.

• 24:43Fortune Feimster?

  Still eat that good ass bread.

• 24:46Mae Martin?

  How was your fishing trip?

• 24:49Tig Notaro?

  Oh man, good transition.

• 24:51Fortune Feimster?

  My fishing trip was awesome.

• 24:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, well, we talked about it a bit at the live show we did.

• 24:55Fortune Feimster?

  A little bit, yeah. I went, for those that, if you don't remember me talking about on an earlier pod, I went to the Niagara area, the USA side. Uh, to go fishing with my brother who's an avid fisherman.

• 25:08Tig Notaro?

  Buffalo.

• 25:09Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, well Niagara and Buffalo are right beside each other, yeah. Um, so, uh, we went up there and I met all the Niagara tourism folks. And I got some sweatshirts and wow, stylin'. I went and saw Niagara Falls at the bottom of it. That was cool.

• 25:29Mae Martin?

  It's one of the great wonders of the world, right?

• 25:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 25:31Mae Martin?

  It gets wild.

• 25:32Fortune Feimster?

  I believe it is.

• 25:33Tig Notaro?

  I think handsome is one of the other ones.

• 25:35Fortune Feimster?

  It's another great wonder.

• 25:36Mae Martin?

  Twelve.

• 25:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and then the first day, we went out on a small boat, which I actually preferred.

• 25:42Tig Notaro?

  And did anybody say we're gonna need a bigger boat?

• 25:45Fortune Feimster?

  Um, well, the bigger boat was for the next day, so we already knew that was coming, um, but the.

• 25:49Tig Notaro?

  You didn't like my movie reference?

• 25:51Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, what movie was it from?

• 25:53Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 25:53Fortune Feimster?

  Whoa.

• 25:54Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 25:55Fortune Feimster?

  To get to Rancho on. What is it?

• 25:57Mae Martin?

  Jaws.

• 25:58Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 25:59Mae Martin?

  And then there's a reference.

• 26:00Tig Notaro?

  And it's also just a saying, like in life, we're gonna need a bigger boat.

• 26:04Fortune Feimster?

  And then in the movie.

• 26:05Tig Notaro?

  I think I've heard that.

• 26:05Mae Martin?

  In Calendar Girls, about a bunch of women in their sixties who make a sexy calendar, they go, I think we're gonna need bigger buns.

• 26:14Tig Notaro?

  There's constant references to it.

• 26:17Fortune Feimster?

  Bigger what?

• 26:18Mae Martin?

  Buns, like, cause they have to hide their boobs with the buns and they go, I think we're gonna need bigger buns.

• 26:23Tig Notaro?

  I love it. Fortune just genuinely answered, well, we did get a bigger boat later.

• 26:29Fortune Feimster?

  We did get a bigger boat later.

• 26:31Tig Notaro?

  The one time I pull out a movie reference.

• 26:33Mae Martin?

  That's not Forrest Gump.

• 26:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, that's not Forrest Gump.

• 26:39Fortune Feimster?

  Now that you say it, I remember him saying that.

• 26:42Tig Notaro?

  Well, not just that movie, it's, you know, it's like how in Happy Days, they jumped the shark.

• 26:48Fortune Feimster?

  Jumped the shark. It becomes a catchphrase.

• 26:50Tig Notaro?

  Yes. We're gonna need a bigger boat.

• 26:52Fortune Feimster?

  You're right.

• 26:53Tig Notaro?

  I'm always right.

• 26:54Mae Martin?

  An embarrassing thing the other day. I went, I was talking about like creativity or something and I was like, yeah, it's like sometimes a melody will come in my head and then I went, I have this song that I wanna write that all I know is it goes, "Come and knock on my door."

• 27:08Fortune Feimster?

  Wait, that is taken.

• 27:10Mae Martin?

  An existing, very famous song.

• 27:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's very famous.

• 27:12Tig Notaro?

  Wait, you wrote that after, years and years after it had been written?

• 27:16Fortune Feimster?

  I never knew it was a thing.

• 27:17Mae Martin?

  It just came up in my subconscious. I must have heard it.

• 27:20Fortune Feimster?

  You must have heard it. Come and knock on my door.

• 27:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I know.

• 27:25Tig Notaro?

  And then it's the next line.

• 27:27Fortune Feimster?

  We've been waiting for you.

• 27:29Mae Martin?

  Well, then I went.

• 27:29Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, May wrote that song.

• 27:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, what are the, what's the legality of that? If I did write it, it just had already been written.

• 27:37Fortune Feimster?

  You'll definitely get sued.

• 27:38Tig Notaro?

  Well, you need to get credit.

• 27:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, but when I listened to it, it blew my mind because I really, I have a voice note on my phone of me going, I gotta remember this.

• 27:46Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, that's funny. You need to reach out to the network or studio.

• 27:52Fortune Feimster?

  For Three's Company?

• 27:53Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, to get your due for coming up with that idea.

• 27:57Mae Martin?

  Before you're in royalties.

• 27:59Tig Notaro?

  Oh my god, yes.

• 28:00Mae Martin?

  I've never seen Three's Company.

• 28:02Tig Notaro?

  It was cute. I have.

• 28:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 28:04Fortune Feimster?

  It was a good one.

• 28:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 28:07Mae Martin?

  So you went fishing. Yeah, yeah, sorry, you're on the little boat.

• 28:09Fortune Feimster?

  I'm on the edge of those seats right now to hear about my fishing. Little Boat. I preferred that because.

• 28:16Tig Notaro?

  Can that be my new nickname?

• 28:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, Little Boat.

• 28:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:19Fortune Feimster?

  Little cowboy, little boat.

• 28:20Mae Martin?

  Can I be Big O Bolden?

• 28:20Fortune Feimster?

  Because you do your own rod and you hold it and it's just more active. I didn't have to bait my hook. Everyone's been asking me.

• 28:29Mae Martin?

  Oh yeah, because you were worried.

• 28:30Fortune Feimster?

  And we didn't use real, we used the fake. Bay anyway.

• 28:34Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 28:34Fortune Feimster?

  So I would have been fine. We didn't use worms or anything.

• 28:38Tig Notaro?

  But like, did you use rubber worms?

• 28:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, uh, it was like a, it was like a rubber minnow.

• 28:43Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 28:44Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and.

• 28:45Tig Notaro?

  Tomato, tomato.

• 28:46Fortune Feimster?

  And we were on the river, so it was calm and really pretty. Um, and we wore the big, they call it, um, I don't know, these big outfits for the wind and stuff. And, cause it was pretty cold, it was like.

• 28:59Tig Notaro?

  The big outfits for the wind?

• 29:00Fortune Feimster?

  They call it.

• 29:01Mae Martin?

  Like a windbreaker?

• 29:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, but they have a word for it, but I can't remember. Foul weather gear is what they call it.

• 29:06Tig Notaro?

  Foul weather gear.

• 29:07Fortune Feimster?

  Foul weather gear.

• 29:09Mae Martin?

  I saw a homosexual in an automobile wearing foul weather gear.

• 29:14Tig Notaro?

  What gear was it?

• 29:16Mae Martin?

  And do you caught a bunch?

• 29:17Fortune Feimster?

  It was like, cause it was like forty-five degrees and on the water, it's even colder, but that gear.

• 29:22Tig Notaro?

  Foul weather gear.

• 29:23Fortune Feimster?

  Really warm.

• 29:24Tig Notaro?

  Hmm.

• 29:24Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, so that was really fun. And then the next day, the, um, it was pretty windy into the water and we went out onto Lake Ontario, like the big massive part of it. And the, the water was super choppy and we were on a big like thirty-two foot boat at that point. And we were just like. But like for forty minutes out to where we were going. So I was like holding on for dear life, like, oh my god.

• 29:49Tig Notaro?

  Well, you're a pretty little lady.

• 29:50Fortune Feimster?

  I'm a pretty little lady, but it was so cold that day, cause the wind was.

• 29:55Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 29:56Fortune Feimster?

  That part was really fun. Like, we had a cool boat captain who, he, I mean, fishing has come so beyond what I knew. I mean, there's all this, these tools and equipment and he's putting everyone's lines out, but there's like five of them. And you just take turns for like, when, when you see it, like a fish is on there, you're like, alright, someone go. And then you just, you reel it in, which is cool. But I like the more river, chill river shit.

• 30:22Mae Martin?

  That feels like it takes the, yeah.

• 30:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that was like more of just like, we wanna, but we were doing catch and release and stuff.

• 30:28Tig Notaro?

  Were you miserable?

• 30:29Fortune Feimster?

  No, I really liked it. I just preferred the lazy river.

• 30:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:33Mae Martin?

  And are you guys chatting about life while you, while you fish and stuff?

• 30:36Fortune Feimster?

  Um, definitely on the first day, you could like really have conversations. The second day is a little more chaotic and, but it was still really fun.

• 30:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 30:45Fortune Feimster?

  Um, and we caught a ton of fish and like, it was all, like I said, catch and release. Um, but it was, uh.

• 30:52Mae Martin?

  That's an adventure.

• 30:54Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it was just like something different and I got to be with my brother. My nephew was there too. And some friends of ours. And we just had like a fun time. We ate, we ate like, um, buffalo, you know, it's known for their chicken wings. We got some excellent chicken wings.

• 31:09Mae Martin?

  It'd be fun to be out on the water on a cold day, got like a thermos of.

• 31:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, we got up early.

• 31:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 31:15Fortune Feimster?

  Put on this gear. I felt very outdoor. I felt very butch.

• 31:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:21Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:21Fortune Feimster?

  I didn't have to touch a fish. Um, cause I wore gloves.

• 31:26Mae Martin?

  Okay, yeah, yeah.

• 31:26Fortune Feimster?

  And, um.

• 31:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:28Tig Notaro?

  Like evening gloves?

• 31:29Mae Martin?

  Dainty little lace mittens?

• 31:31Fortune Feimster?

  Gloves down to my elbow.

• 31:33Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 31:34Fortune Feimster?

  And, uh, you know, my brother and I just don't get to do stuff like that together very often.

• 31:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 31:39Fortune Feimster?

  And it was nice.

• 31:40Mae Martin?

  That's so nice.

• 31:41Tig Notaro?

  I have to say, fishing was something I absolutely loved.

• 31:45Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 31:45Tig Notaro?

  Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

• 31:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 31:48Tig Notaro?

  Even.

• 31:51Tig Notaro?

  I was somebody that liked watching fishing shows.

• 31:53Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 31:54Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:56Mae Martin?

  I could, wow. When you're watching a fishing show, they're talking and you're just waiting or?

• 32:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 32:02Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 32:02Tig Notaro?

  They're not talking.

• 32:03Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 32:04Tig Notaro?

  Just waiting.

• 32:04Fortune Feimster?

  My brother's deep in that world and it is a hu- like hugely popular. Those shows and the tournaments and all that stuff. Cause he was there for like a conference about fishing.

• 32:16Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 32:17Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, so. He, cause he owns a, he and my other brother own a company called SKA. Southern Kingfish Association where they put on tournaments as well.

• 32:27Mae Martin?

  Cool, okay.

• 32:28Fortune Feimster?

  And then he also has a company that, um. Livestreams tournaments. So people in that world like love it.

• 32:35Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 32:36Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm.

• 32:37Mae Martin?

  I mean, it must be really satisfying, all the gear and stuff. Like I, I could see as a hobby, it's got everything.

• 32:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 32:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah. I like Niagara Falls a lot.

• 32:45Fortune Feimster?

  It was cool, yeah.

• 32:46Mae Martin?

  I, I used to go there as a kid a lot and I liked the, um, there's a museum about all the freaky deaky people that. And

• 32:53Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that tried to go down it.

• 32:55Mae Martin?

  I gotta get in a barrel and go over that thing.

• 32:57Fortune Feimster?

  There's no way.

• 32:58Mae Martin?

  They'll be, or this guy, Charles, Charles Blondin, this guy who, he walked across a tightrope over it.

• 33:03Tig Notaro?

  May fact.

• 33:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah, then he was like, that wasn't enough. So he pushed a wheelbarrow across it with a tiger in it, like.

• 33:09Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, my God.

• 33:09Mae Martin?

  And then.

• 33:10Tig Notaro?

  I noticed you said wheelbarrow correctly.

• 33:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, you did.

• 33:13Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Mae Martin?

  Did I say it right?

• 33:15Fortune Feimster?

  That was a topic of conversation.

• 33:16Mae Martin?

  Wheelbarrow.

• 33:16Tig Notaro?

  At our live show.

• 33:17Mae Martin?

  Oh, we got in it. Yeah, I was.

• 33:18Tig Notaro?

  And you thought wheelbarrow.

• 33:20Mae Martin?

  I was convinced I would have bet my life on it.

• 33:22Fortune Feimster?

  Well, our audience did too.

• 33:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah, big cheer for barrel.

• 33:25Fortune Feimster?

  That's right. It was Barrow.

• 33:26Mae Martin?

  Barrow.

• 33:27Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. It was kind of trippy be, uh, being in the water and I was looking at Toronto.

• 33:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:34Fortune Feimster?

  And I was like, I had a show there the next week.

• 33:37Mae Martin?

  Oh, that's weird.

• 33:37Fortune Feimster?

  And I was like, it's like right there.

• 33:39Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:39Fortune Feimster?

  And I could just go do my show right now.

• 33:47Fortune Feimster?

  Um, but it was fun. Yeah. So yay, fishing.

• 33:50Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:50Tig Notaro?

  That's great.

• 33:51Fortune Feimster?

  Well, should we get to our question?

• 33:53Tig Notaro?

  I don't see why we wouldn't.

• 33:55Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 33:55Tig Notaro?

  Today's question is brought to you by AT&T.

• 33:58Fortune Feimster?

  Today's question asker is an actor, musician, and New York Times bestselling author, best known for playing Jesse on Full House. Remember he would say, have mercy.

• 34:10Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And Dr. Tony Gates on ER. He's also played drums with the Beach Boys since 1985. He's been in a ton of things. Uh, John Stamos is asking today's question.

• 34:26Mae Martin?

  That's blown my mind about the Beach Boys.

• 34:28Fortune Feimster?

  You didn't know that?

• 34:29Tig Notaro?

  I didn't know until I met John. I, it, it blew my mind.

• 34:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 34:34Fortune Feimster?

  Well, he played drums on Full House.

• 34:37Mae Martin?

  I know.

• 34:37Fortune Feimster?

  And they, they have the Beach Boys on there at one point.

• 34:40Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 34:40Fortune Feimster?

  As a, as guests.

• 34:41Tig Notaro?

  Well, in a surprise twist, I haven't seen Full House.

• 34:45Mae Martin?

  What?

• 34:45Fortune Feimster?

  What? Not one episode? You got it, dude.

• 34:51Tig Notaro?

  Is that what John says?

• 34:52Fortune Feimster?

  No, the twins.

• 34:55Mae Martin?

  But John Stamos was, I don't know, age-wise, like that was the sexual awakening for everyone in my

• 35:02Fortune Feimster?

  Even I was like, this guy's freaking hot.

• 35:05Tig Notaro?

  Thomas is still attracted to him.

• 35:07Fortune Feimster?

  Uncle Jesse. Oh, did I call him Jesse? It is Uncle Jesse.

• 35:10Mae Martin?

  Uncle Jesse, yeah, yeah.

• 35:11Tig Notaro?

  How dare you.

• 35:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 35:12Fortune Feimster?

  Listen, Jesse and the Rippers, that was his band name, On Full House. And also, he's in the music video, I believe, for "Way Down in Kokomo." You never saw that video?

• 35:24Mae Martin?

  That rings about, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:25Fortune Feimster?

  I'm pretty sure, oh, but he was playing, I think he was playing hand drums on that one.

• 35:29Tig Notaro?

  Kind of life, fortune.

• 35:32Fortune Feimster?

  I love him so much, Uncle Jesse. I've met him a couple times. He's very handsome and very charming.

• 35:40Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 35:41Fortune Feimster?

  I tried out for a Greek yogurt commercial and you had to audition with him. And I turned into a pretty little lady around him.

• 35:50Mae Martin?

  Giggly?

• 35:50Fortune Feimster?

  Giggly. And he had like some yogurt on his mouth and that's part of the commercial. And I'm just like...

• 35:59Tig Notaro?

  Recently?

• 36:00Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 36:02Fortune Feimster?

  Years and years and years ago.

• 36:04Tig Notaro?

  Tried out. Didn't audition, tried out.

• 36:06Fortune Feimster?

  But that guy, that man is a charming fellow.

• 36:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 36:09Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I believe they call him a panty dropper.

• 36:14Mae Martin?

  Fortune Marie.

• 36:18Mae Martin?

  Who's calling him that?

• 36:19Fortune Feimster?

  You've never heard that term?

• 36:21Tig Notaro?

  Of course I have.

• 36:22Fortune Feimster?

  You just didn't like me saying it?

• 36:24Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 36:26Fortune Feimster?

  That is what, you know, that's the truth.

• 36:28Tig Notaro?

  I'll be honest, at first I thought you said a penny dropper.

• 36:30Fortune Feimster?

  A penny dropper. He's a penny dropper.

• 36:32Tig Notaro?

  I believe what they say about John Stamos is he is a penny dropper.

• 36:38Fortune Feimster?

  All right, let's hear John's question.

• 36:40Tig Notaro?

  We got fumbled.

• 36:43Tig Notaro?

  And we're back.

• 36:45Speaker 05

  Hello everybody, this is John Stamos. Hello May, hello Fortune, love you guys.

• 36:49Mae Martin?

  That's crazy.

• 36:50Speaker 05

  Tig and I go way back. Tig, everytime I see Tig, she likes to tell me how much she looks like Lori Loughlin. So, um, anyway, here's my question. What was the very first concert that you ever went to?

• 37:01Fortune Feimster?

  You guys are gonna die when I tell you what my first concert was.

• 37:04Tig Notaro?

  Okay. John Stamos, playing drums with the Beach Boys?

• 37:06Fortune Feimster?

  It was the Beach Boys.

• 37:08Tig Notaro?

  That's it?

• 37:08Fortune Feimster?

  It was. He was not playing drums, but it was the Beach Boys.

• 37:11Mae Martin?

  No way.

• 37:12Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 37:13Mae Martin?

  How, how old were you?

• 37:14Tig Notaro?

  I can't say I'm gonna die about that.

• 37:17Fortune Feimster?

  You guys are going to die.

• 37:19Mae Martin?

  Was Brian Wilson still playing with them?

• 37:21Fortune Feimster?

  Honestly, I don't remember. I was so young, I was like five.

• 37:25Tig Notaro?

  Then he was.

• 37:26Fortune Feimster?

  It was at like a, my parents took us all, and it was one of those like outdoor amphitheaters. And, um, I just remember people in a lot of shorts and t-shirts, and just, you know, jamming. I don't remember, I could not tell you specifics at all.

• 37:42Mae Martin?

  At five, you would've been just like overwhelmed by the atmosphere.

• 37:47Fortune Feimster?

  And then after that, I believe I went on, uh, the next concert was Meatloaf.

• 37:52Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 37:53Tig Notaro?

  It's the obvious next step.

• 37:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Wait, what did Meatloaf sing?

• 37:59Tig Notaro?

  Bad Outta Hell is his album.

• 38:04Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, um, I've seen Meatloaf live.

• 38:07Mae Martin?

  Have you? Is it a real experience? I bet he's sweating.

• 38:10Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, he was like really.

• 38:10Tig Notaro?

  Well, and he's no longer with us.

• 38:12Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I didn't think I knew that.

• 38:13Tig Notaro?

  Oh, you didn't?

• 38:14Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 38:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, we lost Meatloaf.

• 38:19Mae Martin?

  Meatloaf fan.

• 38:19Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 38:20Mae Martin?

  Well, cause in Rocky or Picture Show, he plays Eddie and I, yeah, and then he's in Spice World, playing the bus driver, and those are two of my favorite movies.

• 38:28Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I forgot about that.

• 38:29Tig Notaro?

  Is that the Spice Girls movie, Spice World?

• 38:31Fortune Feimster?

  You wanna know who my next concert was?

• 38:33Tig Notaro?

  Uh, yes please.

• 38:33Mae Martin?

  Let's go deep.

• 38:35Tig Notaro?

  I've seen Rod Stewart in concert.

• 38:37Fortune Feimster?

  Really?

• 38:37Tig Notaro?

  I haven't seen the Beach Boys, so, sorry, Joe.

• 38:40Mae Martin?

  Cut to you being like, you wanna hear my 19th concert was?

• 38:43Fortune Feimster?

  You wanna know whatever that?

• 38:45Mae Martin?

  Are you someone who would keep a concert ticket and buy a t-shirt?

• 38:48Fortune Feimster?

  No.

• 38:49Mae Martin?

  No, you're just there for the?

• 38:50Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I've never been really in, I mean, maybe a little bit when I was younger, but I didn't keep the concert stubs, but, no, I don't, I didn't have t-shirts from any of those, my parents were.

• 38:59Tig Notaro?

  I have a whole drawer.

• 39:00Fortune Feimster?

  Do you?

• 39:01Tig Notaro?

  Of, of rock jerseys.

• 39:03Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, nice.

• 39:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 39:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 39:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 39:05Mae Martin?

  We've been to a concert together.

• 39:07Fortune Feimster?

  Famously. We went to Alanis Morissette together.

• 39:11Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we did, yeah.

• 39:13Fortune Feimster?

  Almost broke up the handsome pause. For one, for one night, we, you were ready to throw in the towel.

• 39:20Tig Notaro?

  Weren't sure if you'd make it to April.

• 39:22Mae Martin?

  It was more like, I, I think why it stayed with me was it really made me confront myself. Cause like, I really was yearning, like, I was, I was happy for you, but the swirling emotions in me of just like.

• 39:35Fortune Feimster?

  Something took over your body that you had no control over.

• 39:38Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 39:38Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 39:39Tig Notaro?

  And it was Alanis.

• 39:40Mae Martin?

  But I wanna be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:43Mae Martin?

  And Alanis was one of my first concerts too. Well, so the first one I ever went to was 98 Degrees with Jessica Simpson opening.

• 39:50Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 39:51Mae Martin?

  I was maybe 11.

• 39:52Tig Notaro?

  Wait, what is 98 Degrees?

• 39:54Mae Martin?

  A, a boy band.

• 39:55Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 39:56Mae Martin?

  Nick Lachey. Nick Lachey.

• 39:57Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I thought that was like her album or tour.

• 40:00Mae Martin?

  No, boy band who played Massey Hall and I, yeah, it was, this is the first one I went to without my parents, I guess.

• 40:06Tig Notaro?

  So wait, it was the boy band and Alanis?

• 40:09Mae Martin?

  No, Alanis is separate. That was my second concert, I think, that I went to by myself.

• 40:13Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 40:14Mae Martin?

  At 13.

• 40:15Tig Notaro?

  You went alone?

• 40:15Mae Martin?

  Uh, no, with one friend.

• 40:16Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 40:17Mae Martin?

  Like, you know, when your parents drop you off and pick you up? Yeah, but I had, I didn't know 98 Degrees.

• 40:22Tig Notaro?

  No, I have more of an experience where my mother would drop me off and then forget to pick me up.

• 40:26Mae Martin?

  Oh my, did that happen?

• 40:27Tig Notaro?

  Yes.

• 40:28Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 40:29Tig Notaro?

  Anyway.

• 40:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:30Tig Notaro?

  She liked to party.

• 40:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:32Tig Notaro?

  But anyway, go ahead.

• 40:33Mae Martin?

  All I remember is with this boy band, um, that they came out on stage and I didn't even know their music and I burst into tears. Like, there's the energy of the room. I was like.

• 40:42Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 40:43Fortune Feimster?

  And there was probably something about you that's like, kinda like, I wanna be on that stage.

• 40:47Mae Martin?

  Oh my god, yeah. It's the hardest thing I'll ever.

• 40:51Fortune Feimster?

  That one? Yeah, there's a lot of.

• 40:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 40:53Tig Notaro?

  Do you know that one? It's the hardest thing I'll ever.

• 40:56Fortune Feimster?

  I know that one, yeah. I was in New Kids on the Block, y'all. And I went to the, I also went to that concert.

• 41:03Tig Notaro?

  Was that concert number four?

• 41:05Fortune Feimster?

  I cried like a baby.

• 41:07Tig Notaro?

  Were you in love with them?

• 41:08Fortune Feimster?

  In love.

• 41:09Mae Martin?

  I cried when I, when I saw Alanis.

• 41:11Tig Notaro?

  Did it work out?

• 41:12Fortune Feimster?

  No, but I know Jonathan.

• 41:14Mae Martin?

  You know one of the New Kids?

• 41:15Fortune Feimster?

  I know Jonathan, yeah.

• 41:17Mae Martin?

  Cool.

• 41:17Fortune Feimster?

  Why don't you get him to ask a question? I think I said that forever ago. I forgot.

• 41:22Mae Martin?

  Uh, all I remember about the Alanis concert is again crying and, um.

• 41:26Tig Notaro?

  When Fortune was there?

• 41:27Mae Martin?

  Uh, no, no, when I, when I was 13.

• 41:30Tig Notaro?

  Oh, okay.

• 41:30Fortune Feimster?

  I could see that, like, being overwhelmed by her. She's so magnetic on stage.

• 41:34Mae Martin?

  I was way in the nosebleeds and the woman next to me was convinced that she was making eye contact with Alanis. So she kept being like. Yeah. Yes, girl. Like, it was like, she was like, yeah.

• 41:46Fortune Feimster?

  Alanis is looking into like a dark hole. All you see are like bright lights in your face, I'm sure.

• 41:51Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. He is. What? And how old was that woman that was?

• 41:54Mae Martin?

  She must have been in her 30s or something. And I was 13. I remember she had sort of had a cane and these long nails.

• 42:01Fortune Feimster?

  A cane at 30?

• 42:02Mae Martin?

  Yeah. She was an interesting character. I don't know what her story was.

• 42:06Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 42:06Mae Martin?

  My friend went to a Backstreet Boys concert and then stood up cheering and a woman said, "Sit down." And she took her long fingernail and pushed it in her back. And my friend, this was in the 90s where we were all scared we were gonna get stabbed with needles. That was a thing.

• 42:18Tig Notaro?

  Oh, really?

• 42:19Mae Martin?

  I don't know if you remember that. That was.

• 42:20Tig Notaro?

  No.

• 42:21Mae Martin?

  Thomas.

• 42:22Fortune Feimster?

  Maybe that was a Canada thing.

• 42:23Mae Martin?

  It was Canadian high school. It was like, "Don't go to Wonderland, to Canada's Wonderland. You're gonna get stabbed with a needle."

• 42:29Tig Notaro?

  Just like a needle?

• 42:31Speaker 04

  I remember like Halloween candy.

• 42:33Mae Martin?

  Yes, razor blades.

• 42:34Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, that was across the board.

• 42:36Tig Notaro?

  Was the needle attached to anything? Or somebody was just like poking you with a needle?

• 42:39Mae Martin?

  People were like, "People are gonna give you diseases with needles and do things to you." I don't know. That was like, that's not.

• 42:45Tig Notaro?

  Did you ever know anyone that got poked with a needle?

• 42:47Mae Martin?

  No, it was a full urban legend that like middle school kids.

• 42:51Tig Notaro?

  Our own legends, urban?

• 42:53Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's a good question.

• 42:55Fortune Feimster?

  A rural legend?

• 42:56Mae Martin?

  A rural legend. Yeah, there must be. Probably a better one.

• 43:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 43:01Mae Martin?

  So Alanis, yeah, that just was like a religious experience. But yeah, my parents before that, I guess, took me to Sandra Beach. She was a children's entertainer. I was in love with her.

• 43:15Tig Notaro?

  Romantically in love with? Or just like, "Oh, I love this."

• 43:18Mae Martin?

  I think, I think really romantically, but I was like three, but I wanted to, yeah. I wanted to hit that.

• 43:26Fortune Feimster?

  What about you, little? Wait, what was your name again?

• 43:28Mae Martin?

  Little Boat. Little Boat.

• 43:30Fortune Feimster?

  What about you, little boat?

• 43:32Mae Martin?

  Little tugboat. Tugboat, Tigboat.

• 43:35Tig Notaro?

  Tigboat. Tigboat. Um, my first concert was heavy metal.

• 43:43Mae Martin?

  No.

• 43:44Tig Notaro?

  Sammy Hagar.

• 43:45Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, yeah. I can see that.

• 43:46Tig Notaro?

  The I Can't Drive 55 Tour.

• 43:49Mae Martin?

  Oh, I don't know it.

• 43:50Fortune Feimster?

  And you know, you don't know Sammy Cabo Wabo?

• 43:54Tig Notaro?

  He ended up replacing David Lee Roth and Van Halen.

• 43:57Mae Martin?

  Oh.

• 43:57Tig Notaro?

  And he was also in, um...

• 44:02Tig Notaro?

  What was, he was in another band before he was solo. That was, um, oh, let me, let me, uh, we'll come back to this.

• 44:14Mae Martin?

  But when you saw me, he was a solo metal performer?

• 44:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, hard rock.

• 44:18Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 44:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:20Mae Martin?

  And how old were you?

• 44:21Tig Notaro?

  I was 12.

• 44:23Mae Martin?

  Oh, my God.

• 44:24Tig Notaro?

  And my mother dropped me and my friend, Chris Harriman, off, uh, at the concert. And I remember, you know, my mother was like, you two stick together.

• 44:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 44:37Tig Notaro?

  And, um,

• 44:38Fortune Feimster?

  Don't get poked with any needle.

• 44:39Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Don't go getting poked with a needle. And I had a, a gold necklace that I wore as a kid. And my mother, or no, Chris and I decided we should take off our necklaces in case somebody pulls them off. Cause in our minds, like a concert was just like,

• 44:58Mae Martin?

  You were waiting to get this.

• 45:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 45:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah, mugged and moshed.

• 45:03Tig Notaro?

  Yes. You were like, maybe gonna be knifed.

• 45:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:06Tig Notaro?

  You know, who knows?

• 45:08Mae Martin?

  This is similar to the needle paranoia.

• 45:10Fortune Feimster?

  The fear that we were instilled with.

• 45:12Tig Notaro?

  But it was truly, we just walked in and it was, you know, we were shown to our seats.

• 45:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, really civilized.

• 45:20Tig Notaro?

  And we just sat and watched Sammy Hagar.

• 45:23Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 45:23Tig Notaro?

  Saying, I can't drive 55.

• 45:26Mae Martin?

  But there's, when you're a kid especially, or like the first time that you go to a, a big venue and you have that moment where the lights go dark and people start going nuts. And then whatever that performer has chosen to make their first moment is like, Yeah, like when I saw Barbra Streisand.

• 45:42Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 45:42Mae Martin?

  I was maybe 14 and really stoned, I think. And I was with a bunch of my friends' moms and I was the only young person. And I just remember blackness and then Babs appears at the top of the staircase. Long black dress, one leg comes out. Don't tell me not to live. I said, and I, again, burst into tears.

• 46:02Fortune Feimster?

  I would have died.

• 46:03Mae Martin?

  I know every word to.

• 46:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I kind of want to die just hearing you recount that moment.

• 46:08Fortune Feimster?

  No, I would die. Cause I love Babs.

• 46:11Tig Notaro?

  I love Babs.

• 46:12Fortune Feimster?

  You do?

• 46:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Stephanie and I.

• 46:13Fortune Feimster?

  Three on three.

• 46:14Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 46:14Tig Notaro?

  We went and saw, we went and saw Babs. Um, I had a moment like that when I went and saw The Pretenders.

• 46:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 46:21Tig Notaro?

  Um, when she, there was like a platform that, that, there was a curtain.

• 46:28Tig Notaro?

  And a light shining on the curtain. So you see her.

• 46:34Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 46:35Tig Notaro?

  Like the shadow of her walking out on a platform behind the curtain. And then she appears and I, and I was like, I can't handle, I cannot handle.

• 46:47Tig Notaro?

  I can't handle this.

• 46:49Fortune Feimster?

  Cool to see.

• 46:50Mae Martin?

  Oh my gosh. More stand up shit. Like, why don't we have that on our tour? Like a little more of a, yeah, people start clap chanting, you know?

• 46:58Fortune Feimster?

  It'd be weird in a theater, but if you're at like an arena or something, maybe.

• 47:03Tig Notaro?

  Or just a comedy club.

• 47:04Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 47:05Tig Notaro?

  Working out new material.

• 47:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm still bothered that I'm, I'm forgetting the name of the band. This is my own rock and roll trivia. Will you look up Sammy Hagar's?

• 47:21Speaker 04

  Was it Montrose?

• 47:22Tig Notaro?

  Darn it. I didn't want you to tell me. I was like, will you look it up? And you looked it up?

• 47:27Fortune Feimster?

  I did think you asking him to look it up meant you wanted to know the answer.

• 47:30Tig Notaro?

  I know, but he interrupted me. I was gonna say, will you look it up and not tell me the names, just the initial?

• 47:37Mae Martin?

  I've actually heard, I've heard that name.

• 47:40Tig Notaro?

  Montrose?

• 47:40Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:41Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, Montrose was really good.

• 47:43Fortune Feimster?

  Did you see any other of those metal bands? Like Guns N' Roses?

• 47:46Tig Notaro?

  I saw Guns N' Roses. I saw Metallica. I saw Metallica with Cliff Burton, who was their original bassist who died in their bus accident.

• 47:56Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 47:57Tig Notaro?

  Opening for Ozzy.

• 47:59Mae Martin?

  What? Metallica opening for Ozzy?

• 48:01Tig Notaro?

  Yes, sir. I mean, we're, we're going way back.

• 48:05Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. This is before Master of Puppets? That's my Metallica album that I love.

• 48:11Tig Notaro?

  No, Master of Pup- this was, I believe, on that tour. They were opening for Ozzy.

• 48:17Mae Martin?

  Cool.

• 48:17Tig Notaro?

  And I believe Ozzy's guitarist was Zach Wild.

• 48:22Mae Martin?

  Cool.

• 48:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Mae Martin?

  Okay, so you used to go to a lot of music, live music shows.

• 48:27Fortune Feimster?

  Was, were, were you going in like New Orleans? Where, is that where you were seeing these?

• 48:31Tig Notaro?

  I, I've seen concerts there, Houston, Dallas. But you know, I was also going to see Willie Nelson and Elton John. It was a massive Elton John.

• 48:41Fortune Feimster?

  I saw Elton John.

• 48:42Mae Martin?

  You did?

• 48:42Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I love him.

• 48:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 48:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 48:45Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 48:45Tig Notaro?

  Pretenders, Indigo Girls, Edie Raquel. I went and saw at a, a dance club.

• 48:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 48:53Tig Notaro?

  In Houston called Numbers. And Numbers was like, I, I just, as I've said, I, I was never into drugs.

• 49:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 49:02Tig Notaro?

  But I remember kids would go when it was like the dance club night.

• 49:07Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 49:07Tig Notaro?

  And do ecstasy and dance all night at Numbers.

• 49:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 49:11Fortune Feimster?

  Oh wow.

• 49:12Tig Notaro?

  But this was like the early days of Edie Raquel and New Bohemians. And I went and saw her at Numbers. Yeah.

• 49:19Fortune Feimster?

  I love live music.

• 49:20Mae Martin?

  I gotta say, I'm talking about it's making me wanna be there right now.

• 49:24Fortune Feimster?

  My, but my favorite was, I don't really love like the big, um, giant arena ones. Something feels very like not personal, but, and I get it, like they're so popular there in those places, but I prefer like an amphitheater.

• 49:39Tig Notaro?

  Right.

• 49:40Fortune Feimster?

  Like the Greek Theater, even the Hollywood Bowl, something like outside where it's a little more intimate. The sound's really amazing. I've never been to Red Rocks. I still dying to go.

• 49:49Tig Notaro?

  Red Rocks, I've seen. The Indigo Girls, I saw the Sex Pistols there.

• 49:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 49:53Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 49:54Tig Notaro?

  And, and Johnny Rotten.

• 49:55Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 49:56Tig Notaro?

  Was on a, on Oxygen.

• 49:59Mae Martin?

  Oh shit.

• 50:00Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 50:01Mae Martin?

  Oh my god.

• 50:01Tig Notaro?

  The whole concert. Like how punk rock is that?

• 50:04Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I gotta go to a concert there.

• 50:07Mae Martin?

  I wanna go see a concert right now. Yeah.

• 50:10Tig Notaro?

  Right this second.

• 50:11Mae Martin?

  Right this very second.

• 50:11Fortune Feimster?

  Plus the beauty of LA or any big city, you can kinda see a concert at any night.

• 50:16Tig Notaro?

  I saw Melissa Etheridge at Red Rocks.

• 50:18Mae Martin?

  I will say like-

• 50:21Mae Martin?

  Just, and I'm like so mediocre that I'm still like quivering, but to have had the experience of walking out with your guitar and not having to say, "Oh, hi guys, I'm Maya. What are we all doing here today?" Like to get to go out and just play like open with a riff and then start, it is crazy.

• 50:39Tig Notaro?

  When you play music, do you?

• 50:42Mae Martin?

  My whole energy changes.

• 50:44Tig Notaro?

  But what I find so amusing is when singers do their little banter between songs, like that the audience dies laughing.

• 50:55Fortune Feimster?

  I love the banter.

• 50:56Tig Notaro?

  But it wouldn't hold up as stand-up?

• 50:58Mae Martin?

  Oh, 100%.

• 50:59Tig Notaro?

  And so how is your banter as a stand-up between songs?

• 51:06Mae Martin?

  I'm not doing whole bits. I'm mainly...

• 51:10Tig Notaro?

  Saying, "I'm scared."

• 51:11Mae Martin?

  Yeah, truly saying like, "Oh, I've never worn a tank top on stage before, guys." And it's a lot of like...

• 51:17Tig Notaro?

  This one goes out to?

• 51:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, like deep earnest gratitude and just being like, "This is my teen dream," and being self-deprecating. But I, yeah, it really is so satisfying.

• 51:28Tig Notaro?

  Is there one that's more satisfying, music or comedy, or improv?

• 51:33Mae Martin?

  Hello? You know, when, oh man, they're so, like, when improv, when you're in the zone with improv, you feel like a wizard, right?

• 51:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 51:40Mae Martin?

  And that's so fun with other people. But then, yeah, I don't know, there's, yeah.

• 51:46Tig Notaro?

  You can't choose one?

• 51:47Mae Martin?

  Music, I'm feeling pretty, because on tour, I've been playing songs and there is something about like, at the silent, like you hear a pin drop and then like, people get emotional. Or you, like, I'm trying to get braver about emoting with my voice, like, and being, yeah, trying to own it more.

• 52:05Fortune Feimster?

  I'm sure the more you keep doing it, that will just keep coming.

• 52:09Mae Martin?

  Yes, it's like exactly like any skill or stand-up. Like, I'm just at the beginning of like, my trying it out. So, yeah, you really notice that you're getting better.

• 52:19Tig Notaro?

  And by the way, I've experienced in stand-up, hearing many pins drop.

• 52:24Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:26Tig Notaro?

  That is definitely...

• 52:27Fortune Feimster?

  That's your wheelhouse.

• 52:29Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:29Fortune Feimster?

  That is way, is the silence, you love it.

• 52:32Tig Notaro?

  But whether I'm orchestrating it, or I'm bombing, I have heard many a pin drop.

• 52:38Fortune Feimster?

  You're often orchestrating it.

• 52:40Tig Notaro?

  Often orchestrating it.

• 52:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah. When you feel like, do you ever have that feeling with stand up where you're like, it's like you're an energy conductor or something where you're like,

• 52:50Tig Notaro?

  For sure.

• 52:51Mae Martin?

  It's such a nice feeling.

• 52:53Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 52:53Mae Martin?

  That's cool.

• 52:54Fortune Feimster?

  One of the best concerts I've ever seen?

• 52:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Tig Notaro?

  Handsome?

• 52:58Fortune Feimster?

  Guess.

• 52:59Mae Martin?

  Uh, not Alanis?

• 53:01Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, she was unbelievable.

• 53:03Mae Martin?

  That was fucking crazy. Um.

• 53:07Fortune Feimster?

  Golden Girls? You guys don't have one guess?

• 53:09Mae Martin?

  Okay, the best concert you've ever seen. Oh, I know this. No, you've said this before.

• 53:15Fortune Feimster?

  Come on, you got it.

• 53:15Mae Martin?

  Kelly Clarkson.

• 53:16Fortune Feimster?

  Judas Priest. I love her.

• 53:17Mae Martin?

  Uh, Pink.

• 53:18Fortune Feimster?

  But no.

• 53:19Mae Martin?

  No, you love Pink. Katy Perry.

• 53:21Fortune Feimster?

  Guys, come on.

• 53:23Speaker 04

  The Chicks?

• 53:24Fortune Feimster?

  They're incredible as well. This is a legend.

• 53:29Mae Martin?

  Celine Dion.

• 53:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yes!

• 53:30Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. I never would have gotten that.

• 53:33Mae Martin?

  I was just thinking, what would Fortune be like?

• 53:35Fortune Feimster?

  That concert blew my tits off, just like yells.

• 53:42Fortune Feimster?

  She, her voice is so-

• 53:43Mae Martin?

  That's actually how I got my top surgery.

• 53:46Fortune Feimster?

  Her voice is-

• 53:47Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God.

• 53:48Fortune Feimster?

  So good.

• 53:48Tig Notaro?

  An audience full of tits flying off.

• 53:51Mae Martin?

  She hits that high note.

• 53:52Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, and then boom! But then her banter is insane.

• 53:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 53:56Tig Notaro?

  Like what?

• 53:57Mae Martin?

  Well, have you seen the edit?

• 53:58Fortune Feimster?

  Hey, I got a call from Ryan Reynolds, "Ooh la la." It's like, it's like-

• 54:08Tig Notaro?

  And then just goes into a song?

• 54:09Fortune Feimster?

  And then it goes to the most beautiful song you've ever heard, and then the banter is wild.

• 54:13Mae Martin?

  You got it, there's on YouTube, search, Celine Dion is amazing, and it's a montage of her onstage and some of her strange banter.

• 54:21Fortune Feimster?

  Her banter is very bizarre.

• 54:23Mae Martin?

  There's one where she goes, "This one goes out to all of the parents and all the children of the world." But that's everyone in the room.

• 54:30Fortune Feimster?

  Cause everything's very dramatic in her accent and stuff, and, and she's a little wacky in her banter.

• 54:36Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 54:37Fortune Feimster?

  And so, I live for the banter, but then her song, her voice is just incredible.

• 54:41Tig Notaro?

  Now, I can't remember why, and, and I think that actually Martha and I should follow up on this, but my friend Martha Kelly-

• 54:51Tig Notaro?

  Insanely funny comedian and actor. She and I did something for Zach Galifianakis, like as a favor? I can't remember.

• 55:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 55:02Tig Notaro?

  But he said if we did this, he would give us tickets to Celine Dion in Vegas.

• 55:09Mae Martin?

  Yes.

• 55:10Tig Notaro?

  And so what I need to ask Martha what that was. And so he was going to give us these tickets to Celine Dion in Vegas. And it never panned out and we couldn't organize it or we had to cancel it. I can't remember what it was.

• 55:26Mae Martin?

  You missed out.

• 55:27Tig Notaro?

  I saw Britney Spears. I think I told you that in Vegas.

• 55:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 55:31Tig Notaro?

  And I think she had to scoot off stage to fix.

• 55:34Mae Martin?

  It was a weird time.

• 55:36Tig Notaro?

  Something. I think she had to fix something. Like we were watching dancers for like a good 20 minutes and then she scooted back out.

• 55:43Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 55:44Fortune Feimster?

  I also wanted Taylor Swift's backup dancers today.

• 55:47Mae Martin?

  What, on the street?

• 55:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. He's like, I'm a fan of yours. I'm like, I'm a fan of yours.

• 55:51Mae Martin?

  You know what Taylor Swift's backup dancers look like?

• 55:53Fortune Feimster?

  Of course I do.

• 55:54Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 55:55Fortune Feimster?

  I also saw Taylor in concert. She was incredible.

• 55:57Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I saw that.

• 55:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I know. I don't know every single one of her who, every single one of her backup dancers were. But that era tour was so huge.

• 56:06Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 56:07Fortune Feimster?

  That a lot of those dancers became like known too.

• 56:10Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 56:11Tig Notaro?

  Wow.

• 56:12Fortune Feimster?

  But he was also on Dancing with the Stars, so.

• 56:14Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 56:15Tig Notaro?

  What's his name?

• 56:15Fortune Feimster?

  And he's gorgeous.

• 56:17Tig Notaro?

  Do you know his name?

• 56:17Fortune Feimster?

  Jan?

• 56:18Tig Notaro?

  Jan?

• 56:19Fortune Feimster?

  John?

• 56:20Tig Notaro?

  Yawn?

• 56:21Fortune Feimster?

  Yawn.

• 56:21Mae Martin?

  Yawn.

• 56:22Fortune Feimster?

  I think it's Yawn. Is it Yawn? With a J, though? He's on Dancing with the Stars, Taylor Swift's backup dancer. He's gorgeous, just like John Stamos.

• 56:33Mae Martin?

  We gotta hear John's answer.

• 56:34Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, right. Let's hear John's answer while we never know.

• 56:38Tig Notaro?

  By the way, there's a story behind why John said that I always tell him that I look like, um.

• 56:44Mae Martin?

  Lori Loughlin? Well, what?

• 56:47Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 56:48Tig Notaro?

  For another time.

• 56:49Fortune Feimster?

  Okay, alright. Jan, maybe it's Jan.

• 56:52Mae Martin?

  I can't believe he said my name. That's I.

• 56:53Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. It's something like that.

• 56:54Tig Notaro?

  You can't believe John Stamos said your name?

• 56:56Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I actually got butterflies when he said it, when he said May, because I really like, yeah.

• 57:02Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 57:02Mae Martin?

  I'd rush home from school, watch Full House. I think I wanted to be him, yeah.

• 57:08Tig Notaro?

  I think I was too old for Schoolhouse, for, for Schoolhouse, for, um.

• 57:13Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, it's J A N.

• 57:15Tig Notaro?

  Jan?

• 57:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yawn?

• 57:17Mae Martin?

  Yawn.

• 57:17Tig Notaro?

  I think yawn.

• 57:18Fortune Feimster?

  I don't know. Somebody out there knows. Taylor, Taylor let us know.

• 57:25Tig Notaro?

  Oh yeah, next week, our, our question's coming from Taylor Swift.

• 57:30Fortune Feimster?

  That would be amazing.

• 57:31Speaker 05

  My very first concert, of course, was the Beach Boys and it was at the Universal Amphitheatre. And I'll never forget it because I, it's changed my life, obviously.

• 57:43Speaker 05

  The Beach Boys have become part of my DNA, I would say. And I, and I remember sitting there thinking like, oh my God, I hope, I wish, I wish Mike Love would come out and say, um, our drummer tonight, you know, broke his finger and he can't play, so does anybody know the songs out there? And I'd be like, me, me, me. And interestingly, years later, when I became friends with them and I was telling Mike that story, he said, you know, before we went on stage, Dennis and I got in a fight because he had a big bottle of, of orange juice and vodka, mostly vodka. And they were, it was at Universal Studios. And he said he took the vodka and he threw it over and it landed near a tram or something like the tours were going by. And they got in this fistfight and he, he said he smashed his fingers in some, you know, in a fence or something. So it almost happened.

• 58:26Mae Martin?

  Oh my God.

• 58:27Fortune Feimster?

  That's kind of trippy.

• 58:29Tig Notaro?

  But he still found a way to become their drummer.

• 58:31Mae Martin?

  Yeah, that's wild.

• 58:33Tig Notaro?

  And John and I, I, I like to think very seriously have talked about rockin' together.

• 58:41Mae Martin?

  Oh my God. That, what, like renting or?

• 58:45Tig Notaro?

  I don't know, just like, uh, you know, jamming.

• 58:49Fortune Feimster?

  All right.

• 58:50Mae Martin?

  Please can I come?

• 58:51Fortune Feimster?

  Let us know how, yeah.

• 58:52Tig Notaro?

  I suspect he's a lot better than I am.

• 58:56Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, who cares? You'll have a jam sesh.

• 58:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 58:59Fortune Feimster?

  Well, that was lovely.

• 59:01Mae Martin?

  Can I say one more thing?

• 59:02Fortune Feimster?

  Sure.

• 59:03Mae Martin?

  That just that I heard a interview with Paul McCartney where he described the moment of, he was in Brian Wilson's house. And he, he said in the interview, he said, I'm not glorifying drugs, but I just done a big line of coke. And then this, and then Brian Wilson comes in and goes, oh, we've been in the studio. Can I play you something? And plays him the first cut of Good Vibrations.

• 59:23Fortune Feimster?

  Oh wow.

• 59:23Mae Martin?

  And you know, the opening of that song?

• 59:25Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 59:25Mae Martin?

  Paul just describes being like goose, like the hair on his arms, yeah. No, yeah.

• 59:30Fortune Feimster?

  Isn't that?

• 59:31Mae Martin?

  I like the colorful shit.

• 59:32Fortune Feimster?

  That all the hair.

• 59:33Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 59:36Fortune Feimster?

  God only knows, it's such a beautiful song.

• 59:38Tig Notaro?

  So good.

• 59:39Mae Martin?

  I'm gonna listen on the drive home.

• 59:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 59:41Mae Martin?

  I'm, I can do that now. I can listen to music in my car and I was too scared for a long time. I don't, but I don't get distracted now. I can listen to it. Yeah.

• 59:48Fortune Feimster?

  I know Carney, I'm friends with Carney Wilson.

• 59:50Tig Notaro?

  Oh, nice.

• 59:51Fortune Feimster?

  Brian Wilson's daughter.

• 59:52Tig Notaro?

  I met her on a flight once.

• 59:53Fortune Feimster?

  Wilson Phillips, remember?

• 59:57Fortune Feimster?

  Oh yeah, we were on that flight too. I didn't know Carney then. You and I were on that flight when Carney was on the plane.

• 1:00:03Tig Notaro?

  That was the same flight?

• 1:00:04Fortune Feimster?

  Same flight, yeah.

• 1:00:06Tig Notaro?

  What a good memory.

• 1:00:07Fortune Feimster?

  I know.

• 1:00:08Tig Notaro?

  I...

• 1:00:09Fortune Feimster?

  You don't remember, it's fine.

• 1:00:10Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. Well, good times. Where are you guys gonna be? Performing.

• 1:00:15Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my website knows, that's for sure. Tignotaro.com can tell you everything. The shows have been so fun and I also just want to acknowledge Newtown, Connecticut. Such a beautiful community, been through so much. I went and just had two very fun shows and just got the most beautiful letter from the promoter.

• 1:00:40Mae Martin?

  That's so nice.

• 1:00:41Tig Notaro?

  Such a beautiful letter and I, I can't wait to return to that area.

• 1:00:46Fortune Feimster?

  Amazing.

• 1:00:47Mae Martin?

  Yeah, maymartin.net. I have some shows listed, I think, coming up. Some music festivals in the summer in Yellowknife and Guelph in July. But otherwise, just, just check out, you know, the old, the old stuff.

• 1:01:01Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. I'm coming to Europe. Uh, I might already be there tomorrow.

• 1:01:09Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, I've got, uh, Berlin, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, London and Dublin. Then back in the States in June, Rochester, Minnesota, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Omaha and Detroit. So check those shows out.

• 1:01:25Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And if you are there tomorrow, I hope you travel safely.

• 1:01:30Fortune Feimster?

  I'm gonna hit the airplane tonight.

• 1:01:31Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, and make sure to share episodes, uh, your favorite episodes, this might be one of them, with your loved ones. Help us build this very handsome community. And, um, rate, review, subscribe.

• 1:01:46Mae Martin?

  You can catch us on Hulu now.

• 1:01:48Tig Notaro?

  A day early.

• 1:01:48Mae Martin?

  A day early.

• 1:01:49Tig Notaro?

  A day early. You can get this nonsense.

• 1:01:53Mae Martin?

  Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, woo.

• 1:01:57Tig Notaro?

  One day early.

• 1:01:59Mae Martin?

  Your tits just blew off.

• 1:02:01Tig Notaro?

  Wait, what concert blew the tits off?

• 1:02:02Mae Martin?

  Celine Dion.

• 1:02:14Tig Notaro?

  We're here to blow your tits off.

• 1:02:16Mae Martin?

  That's right.

• 1:02:17Tig Notaro?

  And thanks for listening. And as always.

• 1:02:22Fortune Feimster?

  Keep it handsome.

• 1:02:25Mae Martin?

  Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. And please follow us on social media @handsomepod.

• 1:02:45Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.

• 1:02:48Speaker 06

  What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

• 1:02:50Speaker 07

  And Hannah Simone.

• 1:02:51Speaker 06

  And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast on HeadGum. Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind-the-scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

• 1:03:13Speaker 07

  That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

• 1:03:25Speaker 06

  We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes, we even talk to other co-stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr., and your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well.

• 1:03:36Speaker 07

  Make sure you subscribe to The Mess Around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.