A Tale of Two Cities, oh and the Capture of a Third (Herodotus' The Histories Bk 1, Part 2)

We return to the wonderful world of Herodotus to see what happens next in Croesus' mad dash to take on the Persian Empire? Will he succeed? Will we even really hear about it? What sort of tangents can Herodotus get onto today! Line up quick folks, tickets go fast, come on in to see the wonders that is Herodotus and his Histories. Wanna join us for a livestream event? Saturday September 27th at 9 am pacific, 11 am central, and 12 pm eastern, join Liv, Michaela and all of the Memory Collective for a special livestream event in honour of International Podcast Day! Join us on our 12 hour adventure answering listeners questions, doing readings, reacting to modern media, and quiplash! For more information, check out the podcasts instagram @mythsbaby, or the Memory Collectives instagram @collectivemem. Cannot wait to see you all there! Submit your question for the next Q&A via email http://mythsbaby.com/questions or a voice note https://www.speakpipe.com/LTAMB. Get ad-free episodes and so, so much more, by subscribing to the Oracle Edition at patreon.com/mythsbaby http://patreon.com/mythsbaby CW/TW: far too many Greek myths involve assault. I try to provide direct warnings when there is reference to anything with overtly traumatic themes but be aware that Greek mythology regularly features assault, death, and many other potentially triggering events. Sources: Herodotus' The Histories Translated by Tom Holland. Attributions and licensing information for music used in the podcast can be found here:mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions http://mythsbaby.com/sources-attributions. Learn more about Liv's next group trips https://travelbugxlivalbert.my.canva.site/ to GREECE! Application deadline is November 30 (Subject to change due to demand). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Liv Albert?

  Hey nerds, really quick note from me. I want to tell you that we now have the applications open for the next set of listener group trips. This is us going back to the original, the trips that we have held in the past that have been so much fun, so successful and pretty affordable in terms of wandering around Greece with a bunch of nerds. So check out the details and get your applications in at mythsbaby.com grouptrip.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. 12 celebrities, one Don and cold, hard cash. From the producers of The Traitors comes The Mob, a new Hulu original series. The iconic Parker Posey hosts this unique reality competition show where 12 celebrity contestants shake down in an Italian villa to win a share of up to $250,000. Watch The Mob, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 1:07Speaker 02

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a Berry Chantilly Cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Hey, hi, hello. This is Let's Talk About Myths, baby. And I am back this week to continue our wonderful vomp through Herodotus's histories. Hi, it's Michaela, not Liv, your wonderful Hermes, here to bring you all things history. Thank you, everyone, for your wonderful comments from last week's episode. I'm still very new to this whole recording myself for the show, so I'm pretty nervous. But you're all so lovely and welcoming, so I'm very excited to bring you more history every once in a while. Liv super appreciates it as well. Her book deadlines are wild right now, but she is busy working at it and killing it, as always.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  I will hang out with y'all, though, and bring you the wonders that is Herodotus and his many, many tangents. Will he get to the point today? Only time will tell. A quick note on translations for you all, because I thought you might like this information, or maybe you won't, whatever. I find it interesting and I'm giving it to you anyways. So, originally, I was thinking of using the Waterfield translation from Oxford World's Classics. It's a perfectly good translation. It's a little dry, but I mean, it's good. I, however, did not want to sit with it for as long as I have to for these episodes, so I ended up picking up the Holland translation from Penguin Classics. And I have to say, Holland gets the dry wit and sarcasm that Herodotus is so known for.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  It's absolutely delightful. So, if any of you want to try your hand at reading the histories and enjoy a sassy old man, the Holland translation is the way to go. However, if you do not feel you have a firm grounding in the geography and everything, I would highly recommend you look for the Landmark Herodotus, edited by Strassler and translated by Purvis. Generally, the Landmark series is pretty fucking amazing and very worth it. They just do a beautiful job of adding notes and maps and context throughout the work so that you can get a good grounding in the surrounding context of the text.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Just for a quick reminder of last week's episode, we were introduced to the reason for the coil between the east and the west. Basically, there was a long spree of seizing women because, you know, women are meant to be seized, apparently. Then we jumped into present times, looked at the Lydian Empire and through many twists and turns, eventually found our way to our current main character, Chrysus. Remember Chrysus? He asked Solon, who was the luckiest man, because obviously it was him with all his wealth. And then it wasn't, and then his son died. There was something in all of that about Periander the tyrant at Corinth. Will he show up again? I hope not, but I suppose we shall find out.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  A Tale of Two Cities. Oh, and, and the capture of a third. Herodotus, the Histories, Book One, Part Two.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  So last we left off Chrysus, he was mourning his son, refusing to rise from his bed despite all his wealth and wonders. But he heard some blunderings from the east, easter than he already was, and decided that, hey, hey, you know that big empire over there? The one that's been around in some name or another for centuries? I can take them on. So he got himself up and out of bed, ready to take on Cyrus and the Persian Empire. That he could not do it alone, and since the rule for any big undertaking in antiquity was consult the gods, he decided the first thing he would do was consult the gods. We're talking oracles, folks. Oracles are the way to go. But which oracles can he trust?

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Which ones are real and which ones are just some guy sitting on a stool saying words? I don't know, and neither does he. So he thinks of a plan, a secret plan. He gets together a bunch of different groups and gives them very precise instructions. Head off to your signed oracle, keep track of the days. On the hundredth day after you leave Sardis, go to whatever oracle you're at and ask them. What is Croesus up to on that day? What's he doing? Give me all the details. All his entourage goes, okay, that sounds like an idea, and heads off. They do this and head back. And the group that went to Delphi comes to him and says, we have your oracle, Mr. Croesus, sir. Excellent, he says, tell me what the Pythia said.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  Nah, they start. Well, she said that she like knows everything, you know, like she knows the number of the, all the grains of sand and she knows how much water is in the sea. And she can, she can understand those who can't speak and even madmen make sense to her. And then she said that you were spending that day cooking in a bronze pot with a bronze lid. Inside there was lamb's flesh and a, um, a, a hard-shelled tortoise? They were concerned because this was mad. But Croesus, upon hearing this, was likely jumping up and down, all excited because yay, finally, a correct oracle.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  For you see, indeed, he did spend that day cooking up a hard-shelled tortoise with some lamb in a bronze pot. And now he was absolutely certain that the Pythia is one of the accurate oracles out there. He can trust whatever she says. Herodotus also says that apparently the oracle of Amphiarius was also correct, but they have no idea what they said. And if I had to take a guess, I'm thinking it was something to do with a bronze pot and a tortoise, but what do I know? Croesus, so very, very happy that there is an oracle he can trust, sends off many riches to Delphi. He kills so many animals, sacrificing them to the god of Delphi and thanks for his accurate tellings. Has a lion made of pure gold sent to sit outside the temple and thanks.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  But now that he knows that the oracle can be trusted, well, now he needs his actual question to be answered. So yet again sends off another group with more gifts to ask the oracle one more question. The next question was, should we go to war with the Persians? Also, should we ask someone to be our friend in this to give us some help? Off the two groups went to ask the two oracles these questions and they both returned with the same answer. Quote, that Croesus, if he did go to war with the Persians would destroy a mighty empire. End quote. Also, also, he should see whichever of the Greeks was the strongest and get them on his side.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  This made Croesus very happy and he sent another group off for more oracles and and also to give the Delphinians gifts for this wonderful news and you know. After this, the Delphinians were so happy that they said Lydians could skip the line in the future for any oracles they want. And if they wanted to become citizens of Delphi, they just could. So he sent them off to ask a final question. Will my reign be a long one?

• 9:26Speaker 03

  Only when a mule is the king should you run, bud, the Pythia replies. And Croesus goes, well, that's silly. Such a thing will never happen. I shall rule forever. Ha ha, lucky me. Well, now I just need to figure out which of the Greek states is the strongest and get them on my side. That shouldn't be hard. Greece is in a place full of drama and contradictions and warring city-states and the Greek people are so together. Like a big sister who seems to just be cruising through life. Unless you're that big sister's friend, then you don't see all the insane antics that are going on. The coke-filled nights just to wake up at five AM the next day to go to spin class before you head to your corporate job downtown. Oh, that's my own tangent. Just getting you guys ready for the next of the herodoty and tangents that we just need to accept and love from him.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Right. So Croesus made some inquiries. Which of the Greek polis is, remember that means city-states, is the strongest? Athens and Sparta are the answers he receives. Great, two options. Surely we shall start by seeing why that is so and which of his options are right. Nope. Of course not. First, we must consider where the Athenians and Spartan people came from, and how Greek they are, because apparently this fucking matters? It doesn't. It's just Herodotus doing his Herodotus thing. But also, there's something interesting in these little tidbits. Remember, they came from discussions with people about wandering about, while wandering about. So maybe my little social historian heart is just going, "Cool, wow, this is what people thought about themselves,

• 10:55Speaker 03

  and the people around them way back in the day." That's pretty neat. Great. Okay, so here we go. Herodotus tells us that the roots of both the Lacedaemonians, that's the fancy name for the Spartans, and the Athenians are ancient, yet they don't come from the same tree. See, the Athenians come from the race of Pelaschians, and the Lacedaemonians from the Helenes. "Who are these two people?" you may ask. Great question. One, I cannot 100% answer. Sorry! The Helenes rings a bell, the Pelaschians less so, but hey, they both exist within not only mythic history, but the Greeks' understanding of their own history. There's something of that old indigenous debate, who has more right to the land, the Spartans or the Athenians? But I can't say for certain, so I beg your forgiveness, my ignorance, and maybe,

• 11:40Speaker 03

  if you lovely Patreons decided, I could do an episode on it. Historia is on its way back. After all, my life has just been a mess at the last year of school, Telemachus's daddy issues, and potentially learning that I have undiagnosed ADHD since I gave up on caffeine. That's been fun. Anyways, let's leave my tangent aside and get back to Herodotus. Herodotus says that the Pelagassians were indigenous to the land, while the Helenes were not, and instead lived a nomadic existence. They moved about in, I think the north is what I'm getting, and at one point settled on Mount Pindus, where they eventually came to be known as Macedonians. Interesting. They set off again, as nomads do, but eventually made their way into the Peloponnese, where they set up camp and became known as the Dorian's.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Now Herodotus goes on to tell us about their languages. But I don't want to do this. It's not necessary, and it's long, and concluded with a statement that says, as far as he is concerned, the Greeks have always spoken Greek. This is a tangent I refuse to include, but it is in Book One, Chapters fifty-seven and fifty-eight, if any of you would love to read it. There's a lovely line here about the Pelagassians, and that when they stuck with their own language, they never accounted to anything. So like, neat, whatever. Let's talk about the two groups of people Herodotus is concerned with. So to start with the Athenians, because you see during the sixth century, they had their own troubles going on in the city. At this time, Athens was under the tyranny of Pisistratus.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  Have I talked about this guy, or am I just getting flashbacks to my Athenian history class? Who knows? Pisistratus was the son of Hippocrates. Not that Hippocrates. There's so many Hippocrates. Don't worry about it. This Hippocrates was known for making some sacrifice during an Olympic game by putting meat into cauldrons and filling them with water. And despite no fire being set, the cauldron started bubbling and boiling. Cylon, a Lacedaemonian, witnessed what happened and gave advice to Hippocrates. Don't have a child. Don't bring a woman into your home who could give you a child. Just don't do it. What interesting advice, like, why? Whatever. Hippocrates doesn't listen to him, and that's why we have Pisistratus.

• 13:50Speaker 03

  Well, Pisistratus has big goals for his life. He wanted to be king. He just could not wait to be king. And Attica was having a moment. There were a lot of fights. People really were just not getting along. One of the groups was led by Megacles, the son of Alcmaeon. How I love the Alcmaeon adye. Wow, anyways. And the other was led by Lycurgus, the son of Aristolides. Pisistratus was like, hey, I could do this too, and set himself up as head of another faction. And one day he fucks both himself and his mules up with a knife, leaving the just, just like, leave the donkeys alone, man, and rushes into the city, saying that enemies were upon him intent on murder.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  He managed to convince the Athenians that he needed a personal, a personal group of bodyguards to which they gave him. And then he proceeded to use said bodyguards to take the Acropolis. Thus, the first tyranny began. To be fair, he didn't do much during this first tyranny. He didn't try to change much of how Athens functioned at this point. But the other two groups, Megacles' and Lycurgus', didn't love that he was in charge and decided to work together to get rid of him. And then immediately, they started fighting again because of course this is what happened. Whatever.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  Guess what happened next? Megacles, the Alcmaeonid, goes to Pisistratus and offers to allow him to marry into his family to help him gain power again. I... I don't, guys. I don't. I mean, this is truly why I love Greek history because make this make sense to me. It simply doesn't. He kicks the guy out one minute and the next goes begging for him to come back. I love it. Anyways, so Megacles and Pisistratus come up with the most clever plan, which involves a very, very tall woman. They go into the countryside and find a woman. Her name is Feta... Feta? Phia, excuse me, Phia.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  They dress her up in an entire panoply of arms as the goddess Athena, and then they put her on a chariot with Pisistratus. They send a runner off to proclaim to the entire city that Pisistratus is being led back by none other than the patron goddess herself, Athena. How could they kick him out? Obviously, he was meant to rule here. Everyone was so convinced that they welcomed him back with open arms. Second tyranny secured. Herodotus is quite hilarious at this moment. Quote, "The two men came up with quite the most harebrained scheme I have ever heard of. Certainly in recent times, and all the more so because the Greeks have long been distinguished from other people by their intelligence and

• 16:33Speaker 03

  general lack of gullibility, just as the Athenians, who were the victims of this trick, are widely acknowledged to be the most intelligent of the Greeks." End quote. Sassy Herodotus, never change.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Well, Megacles and Pisistratus friendship couldn't possibly last forever. While Pisistratus takes Megacles's unnamed daughter as a wife, you see, he already had grown sons and didn't feel the need to add anymore. Just to be safe, you know, avoid any inheritance drama. So, you know, apparently the Alcmaeon and I were cursed, but that's for Patreon to know and you to find out one day. So he only has sex with her in another way, in a most peculiar way, in the way where she is not going to get pregnant. Pisistratus' pulling game wasn't strong. He wasn't going to get away with that. So, uh, that poor

• 17:29Speaker 03

  girl. They, hmm, you know, yeah, they had sex the other way. Anyways, Megacles finds out about this eventually and proceeds to plot his revenge. Pisistratus hears about it and fucks off to Eritrea with his sons. But we aren't done, folks. We still have one more tyranny to go. Are you exhausted? I'm exhausted. But this is fun, so we're sticking with it. Hippias, one of Pisistratus's sons, whoa, that's a fun thing to say, Pisistratus' is his son, whatever, convinces him to try for tyranny a third time. This time is much less exciting. He nearly raises a bunch of money from all his different allies around

• 18:12Speaker 03

  Greece and raises a little army of his own. He sets out from, with his army from Eritrea. They move to Athens along the way for Marathon. The two armies, Athens and Pisistratus', meet at Pelini, at the temple of Athena, and after a small oracle from some guy, Pisistratus sends his men out to meet the Athenians. I don't think the Athenians' hearts were really into this battle because what happened was they were pretty much just chased off by Pisistratus's men who were ordered to do no harm and said, say, hey, y'all, no reason to fear, go home, chill out. This worked. He got the tyranny for a third time, and he went hard this time. He made sure he had firm control. He kidnapped the children of those who opposed him and sent them off to Naxos as political prisoners.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Because apparently Naxos had also had a fun little tyranny recently installed. Huzzah, Pisistratus had power. That was the state of Athens that Croesus learned. Now it's time to discuss Sparta.

• 19:25Speaker 04

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• 19:55Speaker 01

  Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. 12 celebrities, one Don and cold, hard cash. From the producers of The Traitors comes The Mob, a new Hulu original series. The iconic Parker Posey hosts this unique reality competition show where 12 celebrity contestants shake down in an Italian villa to win a share of up to $250,000. Watch The Mob, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings and sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  Okay, on to the Lacedaemonians, the Spartans. I'm gonna keep calling them the Lacedaemonians because I want you all to get into the habit of this. Lacedaemonians are Spartans. Well, what was going on here? You see, at the very beginnings of Sparta, they weren't doing so strong. It took them a while to be the ridiculously rich people that we eventually come to know and love. But in the days of the king Leon Hegicles, remember that dual kingship? Neat, pretty cool. They were fighting the Tegians. Herodotus says earlier, "They were even worse off domestically." They sucked domestically and internationally. So, they didn't have a better constitution, and this is where Lycurgus comes in. No, not the look that Lycurgus,

• 21:51Speaker 03

  son of Aristolates, we were briefly talking about with Athens. This is an entirely different Lycurgus, obviously. Well, he sets off for Delphi to say, "Hey, hey, what should we do about what's going on?" The Pythia replies, "Hey, are you a man or a god?" "I think a god." Okay, that's helpful, I think. Whatever, moving on. Some say that the Pythia gave him the idea for the new constitution. Some say he traveled to Crete and got the idea there. Regardless, Lycurgus gave Sparta a new constitution, which Herodotus decides to tell us absolutely nothing about. Go to our Sparta episodes, there's more there. But that's not the point of Herodotus's tale.

• 22:35Speaker 03

  No, we are to now understand how Sparta got into making more and more power for themselves. They return to Delphi and ask, "Hey, hey, can we get some of Arcadia? Is that chill?" She says, "Bro, that is way too much. Seriously, why do you feel like you should get all of this one region? That's wild." "Anyways, take Tegia, measure the land with rope." So then, ta-da, they start their war with Tegia. They march off with fetters so they can get prisoners. They battle and then lost because, "Ha." They were bound by their own chains and then taken off. They were set to work on the plains of Tegia, measuring it with rope. Ah, the irony, we love a good oracle.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  When Anaxandriaus and Evriston were kings, same time as Croesus, the war had ended. But this is how we got there. Thanks, Phrodatus. We were worried. Well, they sent off another delegation to Delphi because like WTF, they were not winning to Gaea. They were getting their asses handed to them. She says, well, yeah, obviously. Did you really think you would win without the bones of Arestes? The bones of Arestes? Agamemnon's son? She didn't mention that they would be needed. Obviously, you need them, she says. Go bring them home. They're at some place with winds and blows into Gaea. I love her. In whatever iteration she is, she's just wild. Anyways, they were much puzzled by this, but decided to search anyways.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  Lycus, one of the Spartan officials, is the one who cracks the case. You see, he was wandering around to Gaea when he eventually found his way to a forge. At this forge was a blacksmith, hammering away at some iron. Lycus was super amazed by this for some reason. Wow, a man who can work iron. That has never happened before. Seriously, are the Spartans dumb in this moment? I really, like, I'm struggling with it. Whatever. The blacksmith sees him standing there dumbfounded and goes, hey, if you find that cool, you should hear about this other wild thing. You see, I wanted to make a well in my courtyard, so I was digging and then I hit this coffin.

• 24:42Speaker 03

  So I opened it, naturally, and in there were these bones of, must have been a giant because, oh my god, they were so big, like you wouldn't believe it. Isn't that wild, Bed? Lycus stops, thinks about this. Hmm, blows? The blacksmith is banging away at his wares and, what are those? The bellows? They're making wind. Wow, wow, wait, maybe this is the place. He goes back to Sparta and they craft up a plan. They decide to pretend that he has been banished from Sparta and to use that to gain the trust of the man. Um, I don't know how this was supposed to work, but whatever it does, so I'll let them have it. So off he goes. He tells the blacksmith this and then asks if he could lease the courtyard land from him. Sure, he says, go for it.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  Lycus then proceeds to dig up the grave, collect all those bones, and then bring them back to Sparta. And thenceforth, the Lacedaemonians proceeded to beat the shit out of Tegians at every chance they got.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Okay, so we are finally done with both those stories now. Wasn't that fun to learn and so very helpful for the rest of our tale? Okay, actually, they are very interesting stories in the ways that they can teach us about what people thought about themselves and their histories at the time. But are they really that important in the grand scheme of things of the Persian tales? I don't know, but I do find it interesting the way that histories are conceptualized then versus now. Like these sort of folktales wouldn't quite make their way into modern history texts as they do in Herodotus. But I digress. Creuses hears these two tales and decides that Sparta is the state to ally himself with. He sends off a delegation, says, "You guys are the top shit in all of Greece. You should help me on my quest."

• 26:22Speaker 03

  With gifts, he always, they always send messages with gifts. The Lacedaemonians were very flattered and while blushing, I would like to think, say, "Thanks. We shall happily help you with your goal. Oh, so here's a cool bull, bowl we made for you. It's gold." And off they send it. However, along the way, while passing Samian waters, it was stolen by the Stamiyan people. But that's not what the Samians say. They say that the Spartans heard about the fall of Sardis before the bull got there and sold it off before heading back. Ooh, foreshadowing.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  Back to Creuses, okay, so he had started his invasion of Capitokia. Wait, Capitokia? Who is that? Okay, southern central modern day Turkey, so this is getting into Persian territory or Persian adjacent territory. So now we're actually at war. Great, great, love that we were just flung into that. Surely, we must know all the details of every single bit of gold and treasure sent to Delphi and to his allies. But we cannot be told about him already heading off to war? That isn't important at all. Apparently, while preparing for this battle, Creuses was given the advice from a Lydian named Sandanus, a man of good reputation and good advice. He said, "Dude, you know, you're attacking, right?

• 27:35Speaker 03

  Like, these men have lived their whole lives, like, with nothing. Their empire is not as extravagant as ours is. It's not as full of lavishes and luxuries. If they will, well, if they win, well, then they might get a taste for all of this and then they'll fight doubly hard to keep it. Be grateful, dude, that the gods never told the Persians to come fight us." Croesus doesn't listen, because of course he didn't. And of course, he continues on with his plan and gives the Persians the that exact taste of luxury that Sandanis was so worried about. Havaditis then tells us that the Greeks referred to the Cappadocians as Syrians, and before they came under Persian rule, they answered the Medes. Oh, and now we shall find out why Croesus has invaded Cappadocia.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  Okay, so yeah, he wanted more land, as all powerful men do. There was the oracle, and then there was this desire to punish Cyrus for the downfall of Astiagis. Who's Astiagis, you ask? The son of Croesus, his brother-in-law. There's a whole story there. Cyrus managed to capture him, la, la, la, la, la, you know, there was animosity. I'll tell you more, but we only have so much time and much more to tell. Oh, and Astiagis was the father of Cyrus's mother, so you know, his grandfather, whatever, look, antiquity was messy. I don't know what to say. I feel we should all expect this sort of madness at this point. Croesus gets to the river Halles, which marks the territory of the Cappadocians. They find a way across either through existing bridges, as one account tells, or through some other wondrous ways. They then march onwards to Persian land.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  There, they build a camp and get started on ravaging the Syrian lands. They captured the main city of the Batarians and enslaved all who lived there, you know, normal war bullshit. Cyrus is building his own army from Persians and those they met along the way in order to meet Croesus. At first, he wanted to get the Ionians to rebel against Croesus, you know, because he ruled over most of Ionia, the coast of modern-day Turkey or Asia Minor. They weren't down for that, so Cyrus had to settle for taking on Croesus himself. Not that I think he had anything to worry about, honestly, but it's easier to get others to do the work for you. They fought, they fought hard, and on both sides, there were many, many casualties, yet no one came out a clear winner. Croesus was disappointed, to say the least. His army was much smaller, this must be why they weren't succeeding.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  Yet the next day came, and Cyrus didn't meet them on the field. Okay, this was probably a good time to head back to Saris and regroup. Get some of those allies on his side. Not only did he have the alliance with the Lacedaemonians, but he had also made a pact with Amasis, who was the king in Egypt, and Labanitis, who ruled over Babylon. He would get those guys in as reinforcements, and once they arrived, they could all take on Cyrus together. Team effort and all that. He arrived at Sardis and immediately sent out messengers to each of the allies, telling them to assemble in five months to march on Sirens once the spring arrives. This was a good plan, he felt. Well, as he was thinking of these plans and his messages were on the way to each of his allies, an important fell upon the city. See, Sardis was suddenly sworn with hundreds and hundreds of serpents.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Uff, that's pretty bad on its own, but what happens next? Yikes. All the horses came in from out of town and started eating the serpents. It doesn't seem right. I mean, I'm no horse girl, but I don't think horses usually eat snakes. You tell me, though. He sends a message to Telmesians, which is a city in Lycia, to interpret this because apparently they were good at that. They said that he should expect to hear the language of foreigners in his land and to be conquered. Because, you know, snakes are the offspring of the earth, they're indigenous, a toctness of the land, and horses? Well, horses are brought in from elsewhere, broken to warfare. But Croesus never got this message from the Telmesians.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  Cyrus, seeing that Croesus was retreating, held a council and decided that the best course of action would be to march on Sardis immediately. No time to wait, no time to deliberate. They were weaker than him and his Persian force, and he knew it. So off they went. A messenger got to Croesus and told him of the Persian army that was coming to Nakhen. He was surprised and worried. The messages had already been sent to his allies to come in five months' time. He sends a new batch. Come immediately. Come. The Persians are at my door. They met on the battlefield, but Croesus did have a strong cavalry. Surely this would save him and his city. Cyrus hears this and thinks on it, worries a little as his own cavalry isn't to match with the Lydians.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  Instead, on the advice of Amed, he sets up all their camels. Originally just for carrying goods, but he sets them now to be at the front line. That when the armies run full, tilted each other, the camels will be the first that the cavalry met. Apparently because horses are afraid of camels, is this true? I don't know, I don't, I'm not a horse girl, okay? I don't know. Anyways, he orders his men to kill any Lydian they come across. Leave no survivors, save Croesus. He will be their prisoner. The Lydians fought hard. They came down off their horses when they realized they would be no help as they were afraid of the camels and fought hand to hand against the Persians. But it was all in vain. They were killed and the city was siege.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  Sardis had fallen. The Spartans, well, they didn't answer the call of the Lydians because in typical Spartan fashion, they were preoccupied. They were fighting with Argos of what you might ask? The region of Thirai, which they had recently annexed despite it being part of our archive territory. You know, there's, there's some similarities here, whatever. They fought, look, it's a tangent, I don't want to give any space because I'm already so close enough with my word count for the episode. So like, look, Sparta was doing its Sparta thing. It's chapter eighty-two of book one, if you want to read it yourself.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  They heard the messenger's request for aid. The Spartans, they got themselves ready to head out and finally new news arrived. Sardis had fallen. Two weeks after Cyrus had routed them back into the city. Cyrus had told his soldiers that any who managed to break into the city could expect a great reward. None had managed it, except for one. You see, back in the time of an earlier king by the name of Melis, the Tellmessians, you know, the ones who interpreted the horse snake sign. Said if he carried a lion along the perimeter of the Acropolis, none would ever be able to siege it. He did this, except he left out one area, a cliff, a very precipitous and dangerous cliff. Surely no one would ever attempt it. But one did.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  A Martian named Hieroides scaled this cliff. This cliff that the Lydians were so sure no one would ever attempt. And as he climbed, more and more Persians followed him until enough made it in and captured the city.

• 34:11Speaker 03

  So what happened to Croesus? Well, remember his son? No, no, no, not the son that died. God, come on, guys. The son he wanted to pretend never existed at all because he was disabled in some way? Well, turns out he was simply mute. Apparently, Croesus had tried to help this issue, including asking the Pythia for advice. Is this the thing? Maybe. She said, "Hey, man, be careful what you wish for. You may not actually want to hear this son's voice for you. You see, when this son finds his tongue, well, that will be an evil, evil day." And on this day, the day Sardis fell, a Persian was creeping up on Croesus. Croesus didn't notice and was slightly too distracted by the downfall of his kingdom and people. But his son did, and his son called out,

• 34:56Speaker 03

  "Please, please don't strike down my father. Don't strike down Croesus." And that was that. From that day forward, the boy could speak perfectly. And that was the fall of Sardis.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  There we go, guys. That's all we have for this week. We heard the tale of two cities, of their troubles and tyrannies and constitutions. And we witnessed the fall of Sardis to Persia. Cyrus has come into the picture big time now, and he's a pretty big deal. We're gonna be seeing a lot of him, especially if I cut back later on to look at more books of Herodotus. Would you like that? It might be fun. I'm finding joy in doing these episodes. School is especially difficult right now merely because it is my last year and I am doing an honors thesis and it's hard work. It's an entirely different process. It's big and scary and so very, very exciting. I love it and I hate it and I can't wait to do more of it. It's a complicated relationship. Anyways, these episodes have been stressing me out a bit,

• 36:04Speaker 03

  but that's only because I don't really like being perceived or being in the spotlight in any way. However, history is fun and Herodotus is fun. And I'm kinda enjoying sharing this with you guys and all that stuff. So I know Liv appreciates the time as well. And well, hey, you know, it's fun, so whatever. You know what? We're gonna keep going with this, so.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Let's talk about Myths Baby is written and produced by the dearest Liv Albert. Michaela Pangowish is the Hermes to all you Olympians, the producer and eternally exhausted, but still powering on. Select music by Luke Chaos. Thank you, Luke. The podcast is part of the Memory Collective Podcast Network, a wonderful place we are working on behind the scenes to help bring accurate and reliable information straight to you all. Did you know that we're doing a livestream for International Podcast Day the weekend after next? All of us at the Memory Collective, Movies We Dig, Ancient History Fan Girls, Partial Historians, and more are getting together to give you 12 hours of fun. So why don't you all come hang out? September 27th at 9 a.m. Pacific, 11 a.m. Central, and 12 p.m. Eastern and enjoy

• 37:10Speaker 03

  all the chaos that shall obviously be there. More information to be found on all our Instagrams. I mean, I haven't made a post, but you know, it's there, it's up, it's on Myths Baby, it's on Movies We Dig, it's on Mem Collective, whatever. Get ad-free episodes and so much more by subscribing to the Oracle Edition on Patreon at patreon.com/MythsBaby or via the link in the episode's description. Thank you all and can't wait to share more Herodotus fun with you guys next week. Peace out, home scouts.

• 38:37Speaker 05

  Welcome to 215 Maple Drive. We just put this property on the market. Love the crown molding. Oh, wait until you see the walk-in closets and the bathroom tile. Does it have Verizon FiOS? You know, 100% fiber internet. No FiOS, but it looks like it's got cable. Let's check out the kitchen. No FiOS? Yeah... no thank you. Don't you want to see the rest? Okay. Bye-bye.

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