Giggling about showgirls, summering, and life in your 30s

Hannah is embracing her inner millenial and Paige relapsed on tanning oil. watch our youtube series sign up for our newsletter order our book

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This podcast is supported by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. You know that one friend who's always there and actually does the thing they say they'll do? This is that, but healthcare. At Planned Parenthood Health Centers, providers, staff, and volunteers still show up even under relentless attacks every day to make sure patients can get the care they need. They'll keep showing up no matter what, and now they're asking you to join them. Make a gift of any size at PlannedParenthood.org/defend. This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something, too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling, and it's one of the best feelings ever.

• 0:45Paige DeSorbo?

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• 1:03Speaker 01

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• 1:20Speaker 02

  Sup, gigglers?

• 1:22Speaker 03

  Jerry, fix the Wi-Fi.

• 1:23Speaker 02

  Manifest that shit.

• 1:25Speaker 03

  We can't be managed.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 1:34Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my glowing aura gigglers. I hope you all recovered from our cat readings from last week. Welcome back to Giggly NPR.

• 1:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I know that we say, like, okay, let's start the pod, but every time then you actually start, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm not ready.

• 1:49Hannah Berner?

  Okay, can I say my most intrusive thought?

• 1:51Paige DeSorbo?

  And I remember, like, what we don't get ready?

• 1:55Hannah Berner?

  We don't get ready, but my intrusive thought is, like, it hit me like yesterday that, like, a lot of people listen to this podcast.

• 2:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No, sometimes I get, actually, I actually can't think about it sometimes because I'm like, oh, I am just sitting here shit-talking. Like, I haven't looked into anything.

• 2:13Hannah Berner?

  I remember, nothing's come across my desk. It feels like the teacher just called your name and you're like, okay, time to wing some shit.

• 2:22Hannah Berner?

  I go, first of all, I disagree with what was said before me. Second of all, I'm gonna add on to the thing the other girl said, and I agree. Next.

• 2:29Paige DeSorbo?

  That is a fear that like still haunts me of being called on in class and you are not have not been paying attention at all and you're like, uh. How many times did you have to be like, I have, I don't know.

• 2:42Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I was a really good student in high school, so I was like, I literally was that annoying person that was like, pick me, pick me. I was such a pick me. But then in college, I didn't have time to study because I was playing tennis. So for the first time ever, I was like, trying not to make eye contact with teachers. When they'd ask a question, I'd like pretend I dropped my pencil. No, it was so, I like kept dropping my pencil whenever they asked a question. I'd be like, I'm finding my pencil.

• 3:07Paige DeSorbo?

  No, my tricks knew no bounds. I mean.

• 3:11Hannah Berner?

  This, look, this podcast is about cheating in school. That's the only thing you'll learn.

• 3:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Girls had a sore throat. I was like, you have to hit them with an itchy eye. You have to go, you have to go so high brow, they're not expecting it.

• 3:22Hannah Berner?

  Wait, do you know what we didn't address at all?

• 3:25Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 3:26Hannah Berner?

  My birthday.

• 3:29Hannah Berner?

  We forgot. We forgot my birthday. Stassi Schroeder's shaking somewhere. She's shaking.

• 3:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally, I have your birthday gift on my counter and I was looking at it the other day and I was like, wait. Is this like so stupid, like the things that I got you? Because here's the thing, if you want something, you can go, you're like, I, okay, I'm gonna go get this thing for myself. And so I feel like our gift giving, it's more like, I saw something and I was like, Hannah needs this.

• 4:00Hannah Berner?

  Is it frog crocs? People have been sending me that a lot.

• 4:02Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just like, okay, do you want to know actually what it is?

• 4:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so bad at gift giving.

• 4:08Hannah Berner?

  Gigglers, this is a, a, a press conference right now.

• 4:14Hannah Berner?

  Breaking news.

• 4:15Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw these salt, I'm on a whole like, like gift giving for like the home. So I saw these salt and pepper shakers that are shaped like olives and I was like Hannah needs us. And then they had a matching like spoon rester like for when you're cooking and it's like a big ravioli. And I was like Hannah needs.

• 4:35Hannah Berner?

  See, these are things I would never even know to get for myself. Like that's actually so good and so genius.

• 4:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like Hannah's not cooking, but if people come over, I want them to think like she has a spoon rest in the shape of a ravioli. She's not fucking around.

• 4:50Hannah Berner?

  She's not fucking around and she doesn't take herself seriously. Like she, she has fun with it.

• 4:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I did, and then I had it engraved and it says happy birthday. So like.

• 4:59Hannah Berner?

  Okay, that's next level. That was unnecessary. You didn't need to do that. But I do have to say I, I turned an interesting age.

• 5:07Paige DeSorbo?

  What did you turn? That's how interesting it is. Thirty-four. Yeah.

• 5:10Hannah Berner?

  Which is forty.

• 5:14Hannah Berner?

  Thirty-three is still thirty. Once you turn thirty-four, you're forty. And that's just math.

• 5:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Hannah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

• 5:22Hannah Berner?

  Cause thirty-five, thirty-five is forty, thirty-four. It's the first time I actually, like I've been, I'm young, I'm young.

• 5:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:28Hannah Berner?

  I'm now, but I had a little fear. I said, ooh, I feel like Paige when she turned thirty, I'm scared. And then I thought, wait, I'm thirty-four.

• 5:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:37Hannah Berner?

  No one can make me take a shot again. No one can make me go, I, I just look, I don't need an excuse. I just go, I'm thirty-four. Look at my birth certificate.

• 5:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 5:46Hannah Berner?

  Check my ID. I'm thirty-four. That's illegal.

• 5:49Paige DeSorbo?

  You wanna know what? I hated turning thirty. Then I turned thirty-one and I realized thirty to thirty-three, that's the same age.

• 5:56Hannah Berner?

  Same age.

• 5:56Paige DeSorbo?

  That is the same age.

• 5:58Hannah Berner?

  I'm in a different realm. I actually do feel like people can call me ma'am now.

• 6:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Thirty-four to thirty-seven, same age.

• 6:05Hannah Berner?

  I have something profound to say.

• 6:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 6:08Hannah Berner?

  For the girls in their twenties who are scared of getting in their thirties.

• 6:12Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the best.

• 6:13Hannah Berner?

  It's the best. And I, I have like an example for it. You know, in your twenties and in your teens, how like when you dance, you feel like everyone's watching?

• 6:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 6:22Hannah Berner?

  And you're like a little, you can't enjoy it because you're like, that was a weird move I just did. Or like, that was stupid. Everyone could tell I'm trying too hard and I'm a bad dancer. Living in your thirties is literally dancing. One, not giving a fuck if people can see you, but actually enjoying dancing.

• 6:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't identify with this.

• 6:44Hannah Berner?

  You know what, I was in the car yesterday and I was feeling myself and I was dancing and I was literally like, this is thirty-four, baby. I don't give a fuck. I'm like that, that weird person like in the club that everyone's like, is she okay? And it's like, well, she's having more fun than all of us. Like, that's me now.

• 6:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never felt more millennial than in this moment.

• 7:02Hannah Berner?

  Oh, that was so mean of you.

• 7:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Thirty, you're dancing in the car at thirty-four, this is thirty-four, baby, and I quote.

• 7:10Hannah Berner?

  Also, I was rapping Lil Wayne, like, it was so.

• 7:12Paige DeSorbo?

  You were having a day. You get a license, you're unhinged.

• 7:15Hannah Berner?

  I was having a millennial day. I stopped trying to be something I wasn't.

• 7:19Paige DeSorbo?

  You were like, where the fuck is my Hilary Duff CD? Like, truly?

• 7:24Hannah Berner?

  And I was like, I need, well, Grace filmed a video of me and I kind of panicked and in it I did peace signs and I said something else and she stopped the video and she goes, that's two strikes, two millennial strikes. So, I've been in timeout.

• 7:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you have to, and you're just like, you're, you're summering. Sorry, you're summering.

• 7:45Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I'm summering. But I just feel like there's no expectations on me to be fun anymore. To be, like, you don't, not having to be cool is where you find your actual cool.

• 7:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, it's relaxing.

• 8:01Hannah Berner?

  Like twenties, you had to be hot.

• 8:03Paige DeSorbo?

  I went out with my family this weekend.

• 8:07Hannah Berner?

  Chugi.

• 8:09Paige DeSorbo?

  So chugi. And I heard my dad say, Paige is gonna wanna leave in like another hour anyway. And I was like, first of all, spot on. And second of all, I would have gone then if someone presented the option. And third of all, I love that I'm like, I've hit an age where they're like, Paige doesn't wanna keep going. And like, I even get hit with, old Paige would have loved this. And I'm like, old Paige would have. Old Paige would have fucking loved this.

• 8:38Hannah Berner?

  And you know what?

• 8:38Paige DeSorbo?

  But new Paige has to go to bed.

• 8:40Hannah Berner?

  And old Paige did everything she could.

• 8:42Paige DeSorbo?

  She did.

• 8:43Hannah Berner?

  And she has nothing left. And let's embrace her and let's thank her. I will never forget when we were at the time party and I said to you, can we leave? And you didn't hear me? And I thought you didn't wanna leave? And there was like ten seconds where I felt like I lost my best friend. Like, I was looking around, I was like, I've lost her. I've lost her to this part. Where, oh.

• 9:03Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, her personality is, she's different, she's changing. It's kind of like when your friend hangs out with another friend and then comes and hangs out with you. They're like a little.

• 9:13Hannah Berner?

  They like smell different.

• 9:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they smell different. They're like, oh, it's like, oh, you're into that?

• 9:18Hannah Berner?

  They say something like kind of funny and you're like, where'd you learn that?

• 9:22Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, you, like, you, wait, when did you go there?

• 9:27Hannah Berner?

  I go, when did you ever use that vernacular before? I never approved that. I never approved that at all.

• 9:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, vernacular is a great word.

• 9:34Hannah Berner?

  I've never said that word before, which is crazy.

• 9:35Paige DeSorbo?

  But it's really good. Okay, we have to talk about this because like, I know it's, it's like late now.

• 9:42Hannah Berner?

  Like, oh, like it's been talked about?

• 9:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Like it happened, yeah, but like, we only record once a week, so it's like, we have to, sorry, we're a week late and that's the news.

• 9:50Hannah Berner?

  Also, we have so much news we cover on this pod, like, we're catching up.

• 9:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You never got news a week late? Like, hello? Look alive.

• 9:58Hannah Berner?

  It's historical.

• 10:00Paige DeSorbo?

  It's really historical.

• 10:01Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, learn from history. Continue, Paige.

• 10:04Paige DeSorbo?

  You know what I keep thinking of?

• 10:08Paige DeSorbo?

  When I came to the Hamptons and you were like, well, obviously we're gonna touch on the classics. I can't stop saying it.

• 10:16Hannah Berner?

  Also, we, because Des was there, I feel like we're a little performing, like, look at our friendship. Look at, look at this. We're like, wait, you don't know this story? Buckle in.

• 10:28Hannah Berner?

  We were setting each other up for jokes.

• 10:30Paige DeSorbo?

  We were performing. We're performers. Life of a showgirl.

• 10:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, what I wanted to talk about was Taylor Swift going on Travis Kelsey's podcast.

• 10:41Hannah Berner?

  Okay, first of all, I love Travis Kelsey, I love Taylor Swift. Something deep down within me, I don't like when girls help men in any capacity.

• 10:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I'm so glad you worded it like that because here's what I want to say about it, because I feel like people were tagging me in things and also people, like, in the comments on their own accord were like, I'm so surprised she, like, did it on his podcast or like, whatever. When you're in love.

• 11:07Hannah Berner?

  You do stupid shit.

• 11:09Paige DeSorbo?

  You will truly do anything to help that person. Why did I just say person like that?

• 11:18Paige DeSorbo?

  You will do anything to like elevate that person or like. You know, like she obviously knew then he was gonna be on GQ and she was probably like, wait, you know, it'd be really cute if I came on your podcast. Everybody's wanting it.

• 11:30Hannah Berner?

  So right. And one thing about Taylor is she loves love.

• 11:34Paige DeSorbo?

  She loves love. She loves love. So I really think anyone thinking that they were in a PR relationship for me, which I didn't think that maybe I did like in the very beginning, but like I didn't, I don't think that. But I feel like that kind of proved, no, they're not. Like she wanted to do this because she loves this man and she wants him to get those views and those clicks. And you don't want a man that has no passion or a job. I mean, obviously he plays in the NFL, but like.

• 12:04Hannah Berner?

  She's like, we're gonna need to up your podcast listens.

• 12:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like he's not gonna play in the NFL forever. And like now he hosts a number one podcast like.

• 12:12Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. The truth is, is when you love someone, they are you. Like you are the same. So it's like her helping him. It's not like that. Um, it's more, we don't know things. So we just see like, okay, she's perfect and she's helping him. And look, look, charity is a great thing. Like more people should do.

• 12:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Philanthropy is like the best thing on the planet.

• 12:33Hannah Berner?

  Yes. Like everyone should consider at least volunteering. But unless you're in love, don't go on his podcast. Don't go on his podcast. Did you listen to it?

• 12:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 12:43Hannah Berner?

  You saw Clippies though?

• 12:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw clips. Here's the thing. I think because I am on a podcast, I don't find enjoyment in listening, listening to other people's podcasts. Because I'm like, oh my God, wait, should I be doing that? Like, do I sound like that? Or like just random things, unless it's a very specific podcast that I want to listen to. That's a baby.

• 13:09Hannah Berner?

  There's a baby making biscuits behind me.

• 13:12Paige DeSorbo?

  That is a cute baby.

• 13:13Hannah Berner?

  Check the YouTube. This is Latte.

• 13:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god, she looks AI.

• 13:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 13:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, here's another thing. Um, I've been getting duped with AI videos. I feel like a sixty-five-year-old mom on Facebook and I'm sending it to my kids. Like, look at this.

• 13:30Hannah Berner?

  Unless something happens to me in person, I don't trust what I read online. And I also don't trust what people are saying online.

• 13:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I, no, I don't, unless it's personally.

• 13:43Hannah Berner?

  We say online. I don't trust this pod, I don't trust other pods, unless it's fucking happens. If you see it with your eyes.

• 13:50Paige DeSorbo?

  In the room.

• 13:52Hannah Berner?

  Yep.

• 13:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Unless I was in the room.

• 13:54Hannah Berner?

  Unless you stabbed the person, it didn't happen.

• 13:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I don't trust anyone.

• 13:59Hannah Berner?

  What AI tricked you?

• 14:01Paige DeSorbo?

  A whale. It was a whale video.

• 14:04Hannah Berner?

  Oh, that'll do it. That'll do it. Cause you're not familiar with the, with whales and their, their ways.

• 14:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not specifically familiar, but I literally now check the comments for someone to be like, this is AI. And I'm like, oh, oh my god. Wait, one more thing I want to say about the Taylor Swift thing.

• 14:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 14:22Paige DeSorbo?

  I did clock that she said a lot of Giggly Squad phrases. And not, not that we started any of those phrases. We plagiarized all of them, most of them, like they're common phrases.

• 14:34Hannah Berner?

  We took words that were already invented and put them together, yeah.

• 14:38Paige DeSorbo?

  She quoted, um, we ride at dawn.

• 14:42Hannah Berner?

  No, she didn't.

• 14:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, she did. She said, like, we ride at dawn about something.

• 14:45Hannah Berner?

  No, she didn't.

• 14:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Then she said, um, I'm pretty sure she said women in STEM.

• 14:50Hannah Berner?

  No, she didn't. No, she didn't.

• 14:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I might have made that one up. That's hearsay.

• 14:54Hannah Berner?

  She said, hello gorgeous gigglers. No, we know, look, we know Taylor's a giggler because she's smart, funny, and talented and rich.

• 15:02Paige DeSorbo?

  And she has cats.

• 15:03Hannah Berner?

  And cats. And she has cats. No, like, she's definitely a giggler. And I have to just say. Her coming out with another album like.

• 15:10Paige DeSorbo?

  When does she sleep?

• 15:12Hannah Berner?

  It's so iconic cuz one thing that we do love, which is so funny cuz we pretend we don't. We love a hardworking girl.

• 15:18Paige DeSorbo?

  We love a hardworking girl.

• 15:21Hannah Berner?

  We love a girl that while people are talking shit about her, she's too busy working to even know what people are saying.

• 15:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's literally like when when Haley was like, sorry, I'm busy. Signing a billion dollar deal like I don't have time for it.

• 15:36Hannah Berner?

  And Taylor throughout all her ups and downs in her life has continued to create what she loves. And I also love this album, the showgirl element like.

• 15:45Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed. Who doesn't love a little glitz and glamour?

• 15:47Hannah Berner?

  It's giving us on tour.

• 15:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, the life of a showgirl, it really, it's tough.

• 15:52Hannah Berner?

  Whatever her next album's beta blocker, beta blocker, beta blocker blues.

• 15:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, if she says beta blocker in one of the songs, then we know she's a good girl.

• 16:01Hannah Berner?

  Taylor, if you say beta blocker, we got you like we won't say anything.

• 16:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Speaking of Big Pharma.

• 16:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I unfortunately was hit with another UTI this past week.

• 16:13Paige DeSorbo?

  You hate to see it, you hate to hear about it, thoughts and prayers go out. And I've realized that I get one every five months is like my sweet spot.

• 16:23Hannah Berner?

  I feel like that's a lie. I feel like if we rewind the track, Grace, Chris, rewind this. It's a little more often than every five months.

• 16:31Paige DeSorbo?

  My last one was in April. I checked my medical records.

• 16:36Hannah Berner?

  Oh, so you're counting when you get hospitalized for UTI?

• 16:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, when I have to take go on literal antibiotics. I'm not talking about text messages where I'm like, sorry, can't come UTI.

• 16:45Hannah Berner?

  Not to mansplain you, but have you tried boric acid?

• 16:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Uh, not a standalone, but if it's in any of my vitamins, then yeah, I'm I take like. Um, D manos, I think it's called, and like I drink a powder vitamin every day for like strong. Bladders and I mean, I'm doing the I'm not just out here willy nilly. I'm putting in the work in, I'm putting in the time.

• 17:10Hannah Berner?

  I a company sent me like a boric acid thing that you just stick up your pussy. And it's supposed to be really good. So just look that up. Not that you need more things sticking inside you because you just you put everything inside you at this point. So we don't even have a we have too many variables to even have like a good experiment. Um, wait, is are you still on your UT UTI?

• 17:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually finished my finished my antibiotic yesterday.

• 17:34Hannah Berner?

  Should we call it a UT?

• 17:35Paige DeSorbo?

  UT? I feel like it is. I'm a rush right now and I feel like I would be like

• 17:40Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God.

• 17:41Paige DeSorbo?

  UTI.

• 17:44Hannah Berner?

  Game, game, UTI.

• 17:46Paige DeSorbo?

  But here's what I'm here to say. I wasn't in New York City when I felt it hit and like that's when I go into pure panic mode. I don't think people realize that remember One Medical, like it was a separate app?

• 18:00Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 18:00Paige DeSorbo?

  That Amazon owns One Medical now and you can literally go on your Amazon account, go on One Medical type like text to a frickin doctor and be like, hey, I have a UTI and they're like, cool, where's your pharmacy? And they just send it. I got an antibiotic in 20 minutes.

• 18:16Hannah Berner?

  Amazon is taking over. They're they're doing same day stuff, which is like coming for Instagram. Amazon is is getting very powerful.

• 18:24Paige DeSorbo?

  They're getting really powerful. And although that is terrifying, I am employed by that. I'm here to say I'm for the One Medical like I

• 18:36Hannah Berner?

  No, One Medical is amazing. I I use it. It's amazing. You guys, this is a health podcast.

• 18:42Paige DeSorbo?

  This is a health podcast.

• 18:43Hannah Berner?

  Health podcast.

• 18:43Paige DeSorbo?

  This is like, this is like tips and tricks on living life. Like, this is just something I've experienced in my everyday life and I I'm proud of it.

• 18:52Hannah Berner?

  But

• 18:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I do keep getting tagged in random TikToks of like, you might have a six month old STD. And I'm like, guys?

• 19:02Hannah Berner?

  No, because one thing the good clues are is looking out for us.

• 19:05Paige DeSorbo?

  But leave me out of that one.

• 19:09Paige DeSorbo?

  It's an, oh, that's what Taylor Swift said. She said, it's none of my business. She said that there might be, and you want to know what, bitch? I agree.

• 19:18Hannah Berner?

  She baited?

• 19:18Paige DeSorbo?

  There might be headlines about me. And my name could be in headlines and it's still none of my business.

• 19:25Hannah Berner?

  Did she say that?

• 19:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 19:27Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God. I love her.

• 19:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And I've never felt more seen because I'm like, wait, I could be, I could be the subject of an entire... Why was I just gonna say eulogy? That's so scary. When someone dies.

• 19:42Hannah Berner?

  This is the thing.

• 19:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I wanted to be monologue.

• 19:44Hannah Berner?

  Words are powerful. Let's pick the right ones.

• 19:48Paige DeSorbo?

  And it might be none of my business.

• 19:52Hannah Berner?

  And the None of My Business tour starts in September.

• 19:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 19:55Hannah Berner?

  Get your tickets now. No, None of My Business, the concept is so powerful because if you, we're in a world where you can make everything your business. And as humans, we cannot consume so much information about ourselves, about our friends. It's not natural.

• 20:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 20:12Hannah Berner?

  So that's why, that's why trad wives are coming back.

• 20:16Paige DeSorbo?

  We need a break.

• 20:18Hannah Berner?

  That's why trad wives are coming back. That's why maybe the Amish were on to something.

• 20:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Like a calm...

• 20:24Hannah Berner?

  Should we do, should we start like an Amish, but like where the women are allowed to speak?

• 20:31Hannah Berner?

  Or is that Scientology?

• 20:32Paige DeSorbo?

  It's just, I don't want to be in a, I want to be alone.

• 20:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Pods. Pods.

• 20:39Paige DeSorbo?

  I just want to be alone like 80% of the time.

• 20:41Hannah Berner?

  I want to invent a social media where it just shows you what you need to know. Like, and you put it in, like you're literally like, I need a cat video, a recipe, and that's it. Like, I think information actually needs to be...

• 20:58Paige DeSorbo?

  We're on overload. No, that's why I keep saying like, I need Andy and a camera in Pamela Anderson's home, just watching her like do laundry. Fold laundry, load the dishwasher. I want calm, soothing energy at all times.

• 21:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it. Hers gives you access to prescription hair regrowth treatment, personalized to you and delivered right to your door. Are you ever looking at photos and part of your hair looks wider than it used to? Or you notice in the mirror, your hair just looking different? And then the shower drain, there's so much hair. Hers is built around the science of hair regrowth. Getting started is simple. All you have to do is complete an intake form online and connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your treatment is delivered right to your door. No pharmacy trips, no insurance necessary. And all you have to do is see thicker, fuller hair. Get ready for thicker, fuller hair.

• 22:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Start your free online visit today at hers.com/giggly for personalized hair. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com/giggly for hers.com/giggly. Individual results may vary. Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information.

• 22:31Hannah Berner?

  We have to give credit where credit's due.

• 22:34Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's to Quince.

• 22:35Hannah Berner?

  We really love Quince. Everyone in our family loves Quince. And it's priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, which is what I get a high off of, I get a kick off of.

• 22:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And the holiday season is coming. If you don't know what to buy, someone truly just go to Quince. I actually gifted myself recently all new bath towels. Because after a couple of years, you're like, gross, I gotta get new bath towels.

• 22:57Hannah Berner?

  What did you like about them?

• 22:59Paige DeSorbo?

  They're so big, like they're

• 23:02Hannah Berner?

  And they're like, good quality.

• 23:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and they're like, yeah, I'll put me and my whole family in this towel.

• 23:08Hannah Berner?

  I need new towels, I'm gonna buy them. They also work directly with ethical factories and cut the middlemen. So that's how they're able to have such affordable and high quality. They have 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters.

• 23:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I have a navy blue one. It's always with me because it's small enough that like you can throw it in your bag, but it is warm enough that you don't need another piece.

• 23:28Hannah Berner?

  They also have really cool rugs.

• 23:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Hmm.

• 23:31Hannah Berner?

  I know, check out their rugs.

• 23:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I should.

• 23:32Hannah Berner?

  And they have really good like leather bags and jewelry. Like literally anything you want is at Quince.

• 23:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know the Giggly Squad sent you and support our show. When your mental health is suffering, therapy can help, but sometimes it's not the whole answer. Talkiiatry gives you access to real psychiatric care with licensed clinicians who can diagnose and prescribe medication if it's right for you. It's a simple way to get effective treatment right from home. Talkiiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medical management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more.

• 24:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You can meet with a licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and supports you over time with consistent, evidence-based care. All 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out-of-pocket network cost. Head to talkiatry.com/giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com/giggly to get matched in minutes. Talkiatry.com/giggly. I love a sweet treat. I'm always looking for a sweet treat and I certainly can't eat something without having a sweet treat.

• 25:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Kachava's new salted caramel flavor is one of my favorite flavors that they even make. It's salty, it's sweet, what is better together? Also, I feel like Kitty knows that around 4 o'clock, I need a sweet treat and I'm always craving something salty and sweet. And if that wasn't good enough, Kachava is all the nutrition your body craves in one delicious, simple shake. Just two scoops provide complete nutrition to your body with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more. Kachava provides no fillers, no nonsense, all clean nutrition. No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, preservatives. And they have the best flavors. Matcha, coconut acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, cinnamon french toast, and of course, salted caramel. Embrace your salty side.

• 25:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Go to kachava.com and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com with code GIGGLY.

• 26:01Hannah Berner?

  Um, speaking of information.

• 26:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:06Hannah Berner?

  Have you heard that almond nails are millennial?

• 26:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's why I switched to square.

• 26:10Hannah Berner?

  Okay, wait. You're a bitch.

• 26:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Because I was like.

• 26:14Hannah Berner?

  You're a fucking bitch. I saw you go square and you didn't tell me why. You didn't tell me why. You just did it.

• 26:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Listen.

• 26:20Hannah Berner?

  You just did it and you were laughing at me behind my back being like, look at this stupid millennial. I saw, I knew you were mouthing that to Grace. I knew you were mouthing that to her. She goes, look at this stupid millennial with her almond nails walking around.

• 26:32Paige DeSorbo?

  In my defense, in my defense, I was never an almond girly. I was always square. And then I went almond for a couple of months.

• 26:43Hannah Berner?

  I can't handle how you're saying almond.

• 26:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Almond.

• 26:46Hannah Berner?

  Almond.

• 26:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Almond.

• 26:49Hannah Berner?

  Almond.

• 26:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Almond.

• 26:51Hannah Berner?

  Stop. So I guess you, I guess you are saying that I say almonds because I'm not a freak. Almond. Almond.

• 27:00Paige DeSorbo?

  You're a bitch.

• 27:01Hannah Berner?

  You're a bitch.

• 27:03Paige DeSorbo?

  You're a real problem.

• 27:09Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember when you were just like, remember you just repeat what your brother said and you'd be like, stop it. And I'd be like, stop it.

• 27:16Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, I've been hanging out with toddlers.

• 27:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I was a little sister, so I was the one fighting for my life.

• 27:22Hannah Berner?

  Well, I've been playing with toddlers all weekend and I finally found the perfect game. She pretends, because all they want to do is improv.

• 27:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:31Hannah Berner?

  And we did too many like racing and. We're just improv-ing it.

• 27:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Back it up.

• 27:39Hannah Berner?

  She walks in the room and I said, "Give me a motive." What is my character?

• 27:47Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we're- Describing kids playing as literal-

• 27:50Hannah Berner?

  It's li- We are riffing. Okay, do you want to know the kind of riffing we're doing? So first I see her and I have to make her laugh, so I said, "Farty Poopy Bobby," because that's her brother. She loves when we shit on her little brother.

• 28:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:03Hannah Berner?

  She starts laughing and she goes, "Farty Poopy Dez," and I start laughing. And then I go, "Farty Poopy Bed," and then we're just naming everything in the room, and this bitch was quick.

• 28:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 28:12Hannah Berner?

  And next thing you know, I'm like, "Farty Poopy-

• 28:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Running on a object.

• 28:16Hannah Berner?

  Running on a object. But then, she would ask where Butter is, and I'd be like, "Butter's scared," and sometimes Butter hisses, she's scared. So then she walks in this morning and she goes, "Hi Butter." So I go, "Meow," and she goes, "My name is Hannah, and we don't like Lois." And I, and so then I hiss-

• 28:34Paige DeSorbo?

  It's hella novella that's just-

• 28:36Hannah Berner?

  No!

• 28:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, what?

• 28:37Hannah Berner?

  Drama! But then, she's like, "Okay Butter, come cuddle," and I realized I could lay down, close my eyes, and that's the game. So she was like, literally petting my hair and I was going, and I was like, "This is fucking perfect." So I literally like napped for forty-five minutes, and she was being me, she was wearing sunglasses, being like, "Butter, don't be mean to Lois." She goes, "Lois is a nice person. Don't be mean." And I go, "Kch," and she goes, "Butter, stop it." And poor Butter never want to be a part of any narrative.

• 29:10Paige DeSorbo?

  No, this is theater, and it's-

• 29:13Hannah Berner?

  Theater, and then sometimes she like, throws in a new spin on things that I, like, she should be a producer.

• 29:20Paige DeSorbo?

  This is community theater at its finest, and we need to stop saying children are playing pretend they're artists, and they're improv, they're comedians.

• 29:31Hannah Berner?

  Do you ever see those kids who like, remember things from past lives on Instagram?

• 29:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed with them. I hope to have one one day.

• 29:38Hannah Berner?

  So I tried to get that out of Lois. She said something, she was like-

• 29:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Did you ask Lois what your aura color is?

• 29:44Hannah Berner?

  Well Lois's aura color is pink and purple.

• 29:47Paige DeSorbo?

  My girl.

• 29:48Hannah Berner?

  Obviously, obviously. Um, I'm gonna ask her, that's a really good question. She was like, "You were red because you were a cunt, and now you're better." And then you went to some, "You did some EMDR therapy and you're much better."

• 30:01Hannah Berner?

  She's perfect. I love her. She's perfect.

• 30:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Is she still there?

• 30:07Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, she's running around right now. She's gonna make a cameo later. She'll come in and say, and say Giggly Squad. Oh, I did go, I was going like, and she looked at me and she goes, there's no spitting in this house.

• 30:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, my God, you're a literal mom.

• 30:22Hannah Berner?

  In my own house.

• 30:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:24Hannah Berner?

  And I said, valid. That was gross. I am so sorry.

• 30:28Paige DeSorbo?

  What are like, three-year-old girls into? She's three, right? Two?

• 30:32Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, she loves Bluey.

• 30:36Hannah Berner?

  And

• 30:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Familiar.

• 30:37Hannah Berner?

  She, it's like, very good. We actually watched Pokemon, which I remembered. And I was like, wait, this is iconic.

• 30:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:44Hannah Berner?

  She loves cats, little kittens, so we're kind of the same person.

• 30:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 30:49Hannah Berner?

  Um, she loves talking shit about her brother. She, she literally will be like, Bobby, Bobby spilled a water. All day, she's going up to people going, Bobby spilled a water.

• 31:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I'm obsessed with that.

• 31:02Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I'm so embarrassed.

• 31:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Hold them accountable.

• 31:05Hannah Berner?

  She goes, I know you think that man is all happy and never made a mistake before, literally just spilled a water.

• 31:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Three-year-old girls, three-year-old girls, really? I feel like, back to Mystic Michaela, think, something gets, society knocks things out of them. Because the boundaries in which a three-year-old little girl has, I, standing firm.

• 31:30Hannah Berner?

  So these, she's made a friend yesterday. Also, I wish we can make friends like three-year-olds do. Lois is very social, though, like she sees someone. And she's like, okay, we're playing. Like, that's what we do. And her, this girl, we're like, singing together and performing. And I was like, this is, like, something healed in me. Speak of the little devil. She's just seen me. Good thing she doesn't know how to open the door. She's very confused by doorknobs. So she's not getting in.

• 31:56Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, and, and, and it comes with age.

• 31:59Hannah Berner?

  I am obsessed with her. I want to freaking eat her. Um, oh wait, I also had one more, like, really important note.

• 32:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 32:08Hannah Berner?

  Italians, calling something a panini.

• 32:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 32:15Hannah Berner?

  Is like dramatic. It's a toasted sandwich. It's not a whole different, it's just toasted. And they're like, oh, do you want a panini? Toasted.

• 32:24Paige DeSorbo?

  There's whole industries built.

• 32:29Paige DeSorbo?

  On basically just a toasted sandwich.

• 32:31Hannah Berner?

  Yep, yep.

• 32:33Paige DeSorbo?

  That they've created this entire lore that it's a completely different cuisine. Like a panini?

• 32:42Hannah Berner?

  I mean, is it pressed? Yes, but still not enough.

• 32:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I argue the question, is a bacon, egg and cheese a panini?

• 32:50Hannah Berner?

  I would say because it's not pressed, it's not, but like, is a tuna melt a panini? Yeah.

• 32:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd say yes.

• 32:58Hannah Berner?

  I would argue, yes.

• 33:00Paige DeSorbo?

  If I was under oath, I would testify that yes, a tuna melt is a panini.

• 33:06Hannah Berner?

  Wait, can you please, can you please do the Cousin Vinny quote? When she's under oath.

• 33:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, this is so funny that you're asking me this because yesterday I was at the track with my whole family and they were like, Paige, do the thing.

• 33:19Hannah Berner?

  Do the Miser Tomé.

• 33:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, what part was I, um, the defense is wrong.

• 33:29Paige DeSorbo?

  My father was mechanic, my father's father was a mechanic, my brother's a mechanic. So yeah, I'm an expert.

• 33:36Hannah Berner?

  Imagine you're a deer and you're prancing along, you spot a brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water. And then bam, a fucking bullet hits you in the head. You think you'd give a damn what the guy who shot you was wearing?

• 33:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Now I ask you, that is the greatest movie of all time and Miser Tomé, like, did she win an Oscar for that? Because if not, absolutely robbed.

• 34:02Hannah Berner?

  She wore a unitard.

• 34:04Paige DeSorbo?

  The whole time, you know?

• 34:06Hannah Berner?

  The whole time. The UTIs that woman had to suffer.

• 34:09Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I'm obsessed with that movie.

• 34:11Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I remember what I was going to say about Lois.

• 34:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Okay. This part, this week is all over the place and we apologize because literally, I, I can't do anything but quote Kylie. We're summering. I'm literally, I'm in the thick of summering. I'm in the throes of it.

• 34:27Hannah Berner?

  The throes of it. And we forgot how to form brain cells.

• 34:29Paige DeSorbo?

  No, truly, anyone that I work with currently, right now,

• 34:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I, I've been sending text messages being like, sorry, I'm just like really not trying to work the month of August and I really.

• 34:43Hannah Berner?

  Grace literally called me, she's like, how do we get Paige to respond to a text? I go, she's summering, babe.

• 34:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Grace and Josephine, I'm like, hey, quick, uh, update, I won't be in anywhere.

• 34:51Hannah Berner?

  I called you and I was like, hey, you can't block Grace.

• 34:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I would like to bring the European Union to America for the month of August. We're all off.

• 35:03Hannah Berner?

  I dare you to change your email to be like, thanks, I'm out of office, I'll be returning in 2027.

• 35:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I would love to. I would literally love to. People are like, planning things for the fall. I'm like, guys.

• 35:15Hannah Berner?

  No, no, no.

• 35:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Stop, let's live in the present, let's live in the moment. They're like, we need decisions today. I'm like, I can't.

• 35:22Hannah Berner?

  The only thing I was gonna say about Lois was that she said something like, when I was in my mommy's belly. She said something. So then I, I immediately clocked that and I said, what else did you see when you were in mommy's belly? Do you remember what happened before you were in mommy's belly? And she looked at me and she was like, I don't know. And I'm like, was there a war?

• 35:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God, do you think Lois is reincarnated?

• 35:41Hannah Berner?

  I don't know, but I'm getting to the bottom of it.

• 35:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:44Hannah Berner?

  I'm just asking her light questions. I'm like.

• 35:47Paige DeSorbo?

  You're just peppering her with a little.

• 35:49Hannah Berner?

  Do you remember how the pyramids were built? Were you there?

• 35:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine?

• 35:55Hannah Berner?

  I don't, I, those videos freak, freak me out. But I do have to make an announcement.

• 35:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:01Hannah Berner?

  My summer is like, about to be over.

• 36:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Why?

• 36:04Hannah Berner?

  Because.

• 36:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You're going on tour.

• 36:07Hannah Berner?

  Hmm, no, before that, my Super Bowl is happening. The US Open begins.

• 36:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my God.

• 36:16Hannah Berner?

  People who don't know this, the US Open is two weeks.

• 36:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 36:18Hannah Berner?

  And I've never been, I'm busy playing in the US Open this year. No one's asked me, I haven't gotten a call from anyone, but I'm gonna be there.

• 36:28Hannah Berner?

  I'm so, I'm booked up.

• 36:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:31Hannah Berner?

  These next two weeks, I'm going to matches, I'm interviewing people, I, I'm basically, it's, sorry, there's a cat on my shoulder.

• 36:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 36:39Hannah Berner?

  Do you think there's any questions about the US Open that we can help the girls with? Cause I feel like some girls are gonna go. Like, what should the girls be wearing this year as opposed to other years?

• 36:50Hannah Berner?

  Sorry, that was so much pressure.

• 36:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, you've stumbled. That was... Okay. I feel like I get asked this a decent amount.

• 36:59Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 37:00Paige DeSorbo?

  When it comes to like, what are you wearing? I think like Morgan Riddle and Paige Lorenz really like do such a good job. I mean, of what they wear and such good inspo.

• 37:11Paige DeSorbo?

  But it's like any other preppy event. Like you're where, it's preppy. So you're like, you have to think East Coast, Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, uh, the Hamptons. Like you have to think that aesthetic and that vibe. And anything, and it, whatever you would wear during the day there, you would wear to the US Open.

• 37:33Hannah Berner?

  Do you know what I think Hannah coded wise? What I wore once that I liked was kind of these like baggy khakis or like white pants. I had worn it with a tube top, which I haven't been wearing lately, but...

• 37:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, you're 34. No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm, that was a joke? That was a joke?

• 37:53Hannah Berner?

  No, you're so valid. I'm 34 with a long torso. I'm not wearing Amazon $12 bandos anymore. Like it's, it's over. Let's stop playing games.

• 38:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry, I'm 34 with a long torso. Yeah.

• 38:08Hannah Berner?

  It's insane. It looks like a bandeau. Um, I love Madeline Klein wore this like, I love monochromatic, but she just wore like a buttoned up like sweater. And then like a, like a Ralph Lauren hat.

• 38:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:23Hannah Berner?

  Like baseball hat. I love dressed like a celebrity undercover, like a little bit at the US Open. It's like cute. Also, it's very sunny. So if you do, if you do look good in hats, I don't, I have a peanut head. I, I look insane with hats. Wear a little baseball cap with a cute little outfit. Um, have fun with socks.

• 38:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I feel like saying that you don't look good in hats is so crazy to say.

• 38:49Hannah Berner?

  That's what someone with pretty privilege would say.

• 38:52Paige DeSorbo?

  But I look, I look at you more than you look at you.

• 38:56Hannah Berner?

  Period. That was crazy. Wait, that was crazy because we both know I don't look in the mirror at all.

• 39:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You don't look in the mirror. Do you know I tell everyone that too? Do you know, I'm like, do you know that Hannah like doesn't look in the mirror?

• 39:10Hannah Berner?

  That's actually the most-

• 39:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, right before she showers, she doesn't even glance. She's so healthy. She's epitome of healthy. I'm like, that's so fucking healthy.

• 39:18Hannah Berner?

  Cause you know what? What I look like is none of my business.

• 39:20Paige DeSorbo?

  None of my business. But as someone who looks at you more, you don't, I wouldn't walk by you and be like, damn, that girl's

• 39:30Paige DeSorbo?

  so fucking small. I hope she never wears a goddamn hat. We'll never find her.

• 39:35Hannah Berner?

  See, what is my hair is also like, not to brag, it's like kinda thick and frizzy. So sometimes when I put a hat on, when I'm wearing my hair down, I feel like insane. Like my hair is like popping out.

• 39:44Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you have great, thick, long hair for a baseball hat. Are you kidding? It's like, that's the sexiest for a baseball hat. It's like, oh, it's like, oh, I'm a little athletic on top of like, with my luscious locks.

• 39:54Hannah Berner?

  Okay, I'm gonna post, I'm gonna post a photo of me in a baseball hat and I'll let the giggers decide. They'll vote.

• 40:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Do it. Yeah, I would like that. Because you said the same thing about pulling your hair back.

• 40:08Paige DeSorbo?

  We argued this episode.

• 40:10Hannah Berner?

  I'm thirty-four. Like, I can't handle this. I can't change now. I can't change now.

• 40:14Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we can't. Hannah's thirty-four. And I'm gonna start using that as an excuse. Sorry. My best friend is thirty-four.

• 40:22Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm two years older than you right now.

• 40:24Paige DeSorbo?

  You think I'm coming? Yeah, you are.

• 40:28Hannah Berner?

  So maybe, listen to someone wise who knows that hats look stupid on her. Um, but yeah, the US Open is gonna be fun. I'm actually, I have a crazy thing happening.

• 40:38Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 40:38Hannah Berner?

  I'm going with Chelsea Handler.

• 40:42Paige DeSorbo?

  What day?

• 40:43Hannah Berner?

  But this is the like weird full circle moment. One, that I taught tennis to her when I was like twenty-one and she, she never, she didn't remember. Two, she loves tennis and at one point she was like sitting in the boxes of all the top tennis players. If you don't know what a box is, it's basically like the VIP table for the match. So in someone's box is like their significant other, their coaches, um, their psychiatrist, their managers, their best friends. So like-

• 41:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, they're really their psychiatrist?

• 41:12Hannah Berner?

  Sometimes.

• 41:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Damn.

• 41:15Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you know, like, we should bring a psychiatrist on tour with us. It's, it's expensive, but it may be worth the investment.

• 41:21Paige DeSorbo?

  I would love it.

• 41:22Hannah Berner?

  Like, their mental coach, they call it. But I'm like, it's just, it's a psychologist, let's be honest.

• 41:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, got it.

• 41:27Hannah Berner?

  So, cause you never know. You never know when you're gonna need one on call.

• 41:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Hands to God, you never know.

• 41:30Hannah Berner?

  Hands to God, you never know. So, uh, like Kim Kardashian would be in Serena's box all the time. Like, it's like, cool. So Chelsea Handler was sitting in Maria Sharapova's box back in the day. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so cool. Like, imagine to be a fly on the wall, sitting in Sharapova's box, watching with Chelsea Handler in your ear. I'm going. I'm sitting with Chelsea Handler in a box.

• 41:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Whose box?

• 41:57Hannah Berner?

  I don't know.

• 41:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 41:59Hannah Berner?

  Like, I don't know. I honestly don't know. It's very, I don't have any information. Like, when Chelsea Handler says, hey,

• 42:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Hey, we're gonna go.

• 42:04Hannah Berner?

  Cars picking you up.

• 42:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 42:06Hannah Berner?

  Be ready. I'm af- I'm afraid.

• 42:09Paige DeSorbo?

  This is very exciting.

• 42:10Hannah Berner?

  What if I do MDMA at the US Open?

• 42:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Tell me how it is. Wait, you're going on Wednesday?

• 42:16Hannah Berner?

  I'm going Wednesday. No, but we're going the following week.

• 42:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Cause it doesn't start till the following week.

• 42:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, this is like a, a mixed doubles promo thing.

• 42:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay, yeah, we're going on the following week. And I can only go, well, I really only go once a year.

• 42:33Hannah Berner?

  You, yeah, you make your appearance.

• 42:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Sometimes I'll go more if it's like a, if it, my schedule allows it.

• 42:41Hannah Berner?

  True.

• 42:42Paige DeSorbo?

  But this year, I thought I wasn't gonna be able to go at all, but I'm go, we're going one time together, cause then I have to go away for a wedding, so I'm missing all of it, pretty much.

• 42:51Hannah Berner?

  Is that the Italy thing?

• 42:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to go to Tuscany for a wedding, and I'm so very excited because, one, I've never been to Tuscany, and two, like, this is black tie, honey. Like, this is an extravaganza of a wedding. So I'm like, very excited. I have, I have no looks, obviously. But again, you know,

• 43:11Hannah Berner?

  How many looks do you have to wear?

• 43:12Paige DeSorbo?

  Before I go to Italy, I like to keep the bar low. Well, I have like a welcome party, a rehearsal, dinner, and then the wedding. So I have three looks I need to do.

• 43:22Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God.

• 43:23Paige DeSorbo?

  No, it's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of stress.

• 43:26Hannah Berner?

  To go to Tuscany.

• 43:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I saw a TikTok the other day, and it was just like, I think it was Christina Kirk, Kirkman?

• 43:33Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah, she's so funny.

• 43:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I think it was Christina Kirkman. She said something about like, Meant like packing for a trip like versus a guy. It's just like, okay, they'll bring like 12 pairs of shorts and 12 t-shirts. Great. And you're like, doing the math like, okay, well, if we're there for seven days and I have need three outfits a day, it's like that. Well, that's 21 outfit. And like that, it's a seven day trip will put me over the edge.

• 43:57Hannah Berner?

  Paige, I was talking to a male comic the other day and I was like, what do you wear on your tour?

• 44:06Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's what I love the honesty from the men, like the earnest in their voice where they're truly perplexed is my, one of my favorites.

• 44:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises. I remember maybe a pull up, something I saved on Instagram, but there's never really any planning behind it. That's what I've been loving about the ladder app. I open it and my workout is already planned for me by an expert coach. I know exactly what exercises I'm doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in ear coaching gives me cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like having a personal trainer in my headphones. I love using this whenever I'm in hotels. I've been using it for a while now and I see and also feel myself getting stronger each day because of ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now. So

• 45:00Paige DeSorbo?

  that will definitely be in my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets, because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether what I'm doing is working. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use my link and get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. Here's what we don't talk about enough as women. Thinning hair is common and there's something you can actually do about it.

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• 47:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I used to summer in Newport, Rhode Island.

• 47:58Hannah Berner?

  Shut up.

• 47:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Often as a young child.

• 48:01Hannah Berner?

  Really?

• 48:02Paige DeSorbo?

  I think that's why I love period pieces because sometimes we, we went to Newport maybe like twice in the summer and we, and as a child, I loved going through the mansion tours. We would do so many mansion tours and I was obsessed with it. And like you go in like the Vanderbilt house and like all these different houses and they give you like, it used to be like a tour guide. Now it's like headphones. It's like not as good. Um, but I think that's why I love period pieces. Cause as a young child, I loved it.

• 48:34Hannah Berner?

  I've never went to Newport. Well, a lot of Italians are in Rhode Island.

• 48:37Paige DeSorbo?

  A lot of Italians are in Rhode Island.

• 48:39Hannah Berner?

  She's so random, like public schools in Newport.

• 48:44Hannah Berner?

  There's probably no public schools in Newport, but I'm going for the tennis hall of fame, which is so funny because I kind of skipped the whole like playing professionally and just went from

• 48:54Hannah Berner?

  being comedian to go in the tennis hall of fame. But I'm just like going with my parents and Dez and.

• 48:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, you're getting inducted into the tennis?

• 49:03Hannah Berner?

  No, but I'm there for it. Maria Sharapova is getting inducted.

• 49:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Got it, got it.

• 49:07Hannah Berner?

  Cause you know, my manifestation is crazy.

• 49:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait a second. That, that manifestation might be actually illegal and like not fair. What is the equivalent? I just like, okay, you know how like all men, like men are like, if I, like if I could have trained, I could have been in the NFL. Like if I was like, if I was like an inch taller, I totally could have been in the NBA, like shit like that. Do women have an equivalent? I don't think so because I feel like we are realistic in certain aspects.

• 49:35Hannah Berner?

  Women are more than realistic. We're like mean to ourselves where we're like, oh, like I'll be like, oh my God, you're so good at, you know, um, makeup. You could be a professional makeup artist. No, no, no, I couldn't. No, no, no. And I'm like, no, you're literally doing it. No, I couldn't.

• 49:51Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, literally seven minutes ago, you were like, I don't wear hats. Hats are not for me. I hate hats.

• 49:57Hannah Berner?

  I can't wear a hat. I could be so many things if I could wear a hat, but I can't.

• 50:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Men will literally wear a hat on the tip.

• 50:04Hannah Berner?

  Top.

• 50:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Tippy to be top of their head, not even on their head. And they'll be like, this looks cool. This looks good. And my poor friend won't even go near a hat without breaking out a tie.

• 50:15Hannah Berner?

  And melanoma is looming. Okay. Melanoma is looming. Put your sunscreen on. No, men wearing their hat on the tippy top. Who let them? Who let them?

• 50:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I have to confess something and it's so bad because I know that I'm out.

• 50:30Hannah Berner?

  You thought it was hot?

• 50:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm switching topics, actually.

• 50:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Something else popped in my head.

• 50:36Hannah Berner?

  Nope. Pass.

• 50:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Sorry. This is so bad. And I know because I'm like on here every week being like, I love my skincare and like I do this and I do that. I put tanning oil on the other day.

• 50:47Hannah Berner?

  Page, DeSorbo.

• 50:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Not on my face. I didn't put it on my face.

• 50:52Hannah Berner?

  Where'd you put it? On your pussy? That's why you have UTI?

• 50:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw it. I saw it and I was like.

• 50:56Hannah Berner?

  Did you perineum?

• 50:57Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I didn't. No, I didn't. But, but I still want to do that. I saw it. It was just sitting there. It looked lonely. I was like, I bet no one's used you in years. Everyone's talking bad about you and you used to be my best friend and we had so many good times together.

• 51:14Paige DeSorbo?

  And I miss you. And so I did it on my stomach and my legs and my butt. And I really did the backside of me, but here's in my defense, I feel like in Italy, I didn't really tan the back of me. Okay. I had no interest in flipping over.

• 51:25Hannah Berner?

  But that's where you're wrong. The back of you is none of your business.

• 51:29Paige DeSorbo?

  It's none of my business.

• 51:30Hannah Berner?

  I've never once saw a girl have been like, whoa, back of her leg is not the same color as the front of her leg.

• 51:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Really? I have.

• 51:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, ever heard of flipping, bitch? Like, you can't fall asleep.

• 51:43Hannah Berner?

  So I've been playing tennis with a bathing suit on, and I didn't realize that the bathing suit in the back has like a big circle in it, because it's a one-piece, and the back is just circles. So I have a full, just like, circle of a tan on my back. But again, none of my business. I didn't even know it was there. And I've been so peaceful until someone told me and I said, "Uh-uh, I don't want to know."

• 52:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Don't come to me with things about me.

• 52:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, don't talk shit behind my back, literally.

• 52:10Hannah Berner?

  Okay, for everyone listening, don't use tanning oil. Paige, you know better than that.

• 52:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not saying use it. I'm just, I'm confessing something. Let me live, this is a safe space for me.

• 52:19Hannah Berner?

  True, I do like your honesty. That was really good.

• 52:21Paige DeSorbo?

  And you want to know what? I fucking liked it. It did exactly what I needed.

• 52:26Hannah Berner?

  Now I have to step in.

• 52:28Paige DeSorbo?

  And it did exactly what I wanted it to do.

• 52:30Hannah Berner?

  First it's tanning oil, then it's heroin, then next thing you know, you're stealing from your family, and you're losing your job, and you're tweaking out.

• 52:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, tanning oil actually is a gateway drug. Because i-if you catch me with like a Beach Bum subscription, I'm like, "I'm just gonna go once a month." Stop me. Truly stop me. Because that's when I've gone too far.

• 52:50Hannah Berner?

  You're passed out in the kitchen with tanning oil all over you, and I'm like, "God damn it, I gotta get her to work."

• 52:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm just like, "Wait, what if I just try to?" It was just like, it was a naughty thi- look, I'm 32 years old. That's my version of being naughty.

• 53:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, we're gonna have to have a New Jersey intervention with you.

• 53:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I love it. I'm obsessed.

• 53:11Hannah Berner?

  But I do have to say, my favorite part about summer being tan is that, like, I don't have to wear as much makeup. Because it's like naturally contouring.

• 53:20Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the same with like having a bob. It becomes an accessory. I'm like, "I'll put this outfit on, and then I'll wear my tan." Like, and I'm tan, so like, I'll look better.

• 53:28Hannah Berner?

  It's so good, but I really feel bad because my, I saw a girl the other day, wearing like, a red sweater, and I was like, "It's fall."

• 53:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I thought you were gonna say not for my aura.

• 53:42Hannah Berner?

  Not for, no, not, not my aura, not my energy, not my season.

• 53:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 53:46Hannah Berner?

  Summer for me is over. Like, it's, I'm back to work. I've been on bedrest.

• 53:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, that is like really stressing me out because I feel like I have a good solid like three weeks left of summer and you're like crushing my vibe.

• 53:58Hannah Berner?

  It's okay because you've been working like really hard every summer. So this, you need this, but like September 4th, I'm off to Vancouver, Oakland.

• 54:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I had a tough year.

• 54:08Hannah Berner?

  We're out here. You did, but a beautiful year.

• 54:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I had a beautiful year. I had like one of the best years of my life, honestly. Actually, I'm like, all jokes aside, I actually think this was like,

• 54:21Paige DeSorbo?

  this isn't the top three best years of my life.

• 54:24Hannah Berner?

  I'm feeling a mental health moment coming. Cause I also feel like you dealt with a lot of adversity, but you gained a lot of trust in yourself and you became more interesting. To me at least. I have to deal with you all the time. Cause I'd be like, she comes down from the hotel room. I'm like, what mood is she gonna be?

• 54:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And you wanna know what? Start normalizing people walking on eggshells around you. I like that about me.

• 54:50Hannah Berner?

  No, but Paige, because like we've been together when we both have had like mental breaks and we've survived it, like, could we get any closer?

• 54:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think so. I think the only way we could literally get closer is if I had a medical procedure and you were in the room with me.

• 55:08Hannah Berner?

  And I was doing it. I was like, give me the, give me the scissor.

• 55:16Hannah Berner?

  Speaking of scissoring, I'm three episodes into The Hunting Wives.

• 55:22Paige DeSorbo?

  That is, no, speaking of scissoring, because what in the Texas is literally going on on that show?

• 55:31Hannah Berner?

  I'm obsessed with it because I'm obsessed with, I don't, okay, mm, kind of spoiler, but. Dez was like, what's it about? And I was like, how do I explain? I said, Dez, it's for girls, though. Like, it's a show for girls. Like, it's for the girls. And he's like, well, let me, let me see first. Let me watch it first. It's determined. And I was like, no, no, no, no.

• 55:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually didn't watch the last episode because I was like, uh, okay. What's going on?

• 55:58Hannah Berner?

  It's very, I have to shout out Malin Ackerman. I feel like she's never acted like this before, and she's so good in it.

• 56:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 56:05Hannah Berner?

  Um, but what makes it fun is because you think it's this stereotypical, like, oh, ladies who brunch and spend their husbands' money and don't do anything. And this new girl comes in who's like very smart and stuff, and you immediately think she's better than those women. Then you realize those women are fucking feminists because they're just fucking each other and taking advantage of their husbands. And I'm starting to think, we've, we've got it all wrong here.

• 56:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't see the element of like where they were all gonna like have sex with each other that like, I was like, oh, my God, I didn't see that coming. Like, when the first sexual thing happened, I was like, wait, that is so not what I thought. See, I can't read certain things in the be- I'm like, that was not what I was thinking.

• 56:48Hannah Berner?

  I think they also wanted to surprise you, like, oh, wire her tits out. That came out of nowhere.

• 56:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, wait, are they gonna fuck?

• 56:55Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 56:55Paige DeSorbo?

  There is something about a show that I do like that when they give me that question where I'm like, wait a minute, are they about to hook up? Like, that excites me.

• 57:04Hannah Berner?

  I, I also think when that girl was being mean to her, I didn't realize she was, it's because she was jealous, not because she was just like being a bitch to the new girl.

• 57:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Correct.

• 57:15Hannah Berner?

  So now I'm trying to think, like, everyone, every girl's been mean to me. I'm like, were you trying to fuck?

• 57:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:19Hannah Berner?

  Were you trying to fuck? Oh, my God. But that's why, like, no, I just, I think it was, it was very entertaining, The Hunting Wives. I do have something that you guys have to watch. Documentary about The Biggest Loser just came out on Netflix.

• 57:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, the TV show?

• 57:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Did you watch The Biggest Loser?

• 57:38Paige DeSorbo?

  The Biggest Loser, we could be referring to a lot of people.

• 57:42Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, Phil has no end.

• 57:44Hannah Berner?

  He's got a new thing at the end of the pod, we go, who's the biggest loser of the week?

• 57:47Paige DeSorbo?

  And the biggest loser of the week.

• 57:51Hannah Berner?

  Did you watch that show?

• 57:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't, but I feel like my grandma watched it. So I feel like by osmosis, I feel like I watched a couple of episodes.

• 58:01Hannah Berner?

  I was really into it.

• 58:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Really?

• 58:03Hannah Berner?

  I, it was so like, you'd see people be like, my life is ruined by my weight. If I could lose weight, it would save my marriage and my children and my life. And then you watch them get yelled at by Julian Michaels, like really mean. And then they weigh themselves and they lose 15 pounds and then you're like hooked. You're like, this person. But when they reanalyze everything, they realize like, they're basically telling people like, if you're fat, you, you suck. Like you're not a human.

• 58:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 58:33Hannah Berner?

  And, and you can't control yourself around food. When everyone, everything's more nuanced than that.

• 58:37Paige DeSorbo?

  How are they losing it so fast, though?

• 58:40Hannah Berner?

  Okay, it turns out, well, they were working out eight hours a day, like professional athletes. You just see them like on the treadmill, puking, like lifting tires. And these are people who like haven't walked in years.

• 58:52Paige DeSorbo?

  Is that even safe?

• 58:54Hannah Berner?

  So there's a doctor that was on the show that was like, yo, you can't, this person's gonna have a heart attack.

• 59:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, this person's going to die.

• 59:02Hannah Berner?

  But obviously the producers were like, shut the fuck up, doctor.

• 59:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 59:06Hannah Berner?

  And they'd.

• 59:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Leave it to a reality, yeah.

• 59:08Hannah Berner?

  And they'd make them do embarrassing things like.

• 59:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Not good TV, but all you could win us an Emmy. Shut your fucking mouth.

• 59:15Hannah Berner?

  So, and then they wanted people to get bigger and bigger and bigger to make it more exciting. But the bigger the people are, the less they could like do physically. You gotta start them off slow. Then caffeine pills were going around. So the, and then these people realized, I want to win. They wanted to win $250,000. So this one guy was like, I was literally just drinking water and lemon and like maple syrup. Like I did a cleanse. He said he was so dehydrated that there was blood in his urine, but he won. But it was like.

• 59:46Paige DeSorbo?

  At what cost?

• 59:47Hannah Berner?

  Some people left with eating disorders. Some people, their metabolism was fucked forever and they gained the weight all the way back. Some people were traumatized by the edit because they were given a villain edit. And it's like, these people are just trying to lose weight.

• 1:00:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:01Hannah Berner?

  And they would make some friends who are not friends anymore because they made the friends fight. Well, that's very short. I was a little traumatized, but I got a little PTSD, but um. At the time, the world was different back then and we were like.

• 1:00:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:15Hannah Berner?

  They were transforming these people's bodies. I would argue.

• 1:00:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, I watched a show called The Swan.

• 1:00:20Hannah Berner?

  I was gonna say, that was worse.

• 1:00:22Paige DeSorbo?

  That was, look at this hideous specimen of a woman. We're gonna change her, don't worry. You won't have to look at her anyway. Like, that was truly insane and I think that did something to my brain chemistry.

• 1:00:34Hannah Berner?

  And also, there was always this like, I wanna save my marriage. Like, my husband doesn't like me cuz I'm fat. And this woman told this great story where she went there to save her marriage cuz she was in a toxic marriage and she thought he would stop cheating on her if she lost weight.

• 1:00:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Classic.

• 1:00:48Hannah Berner?

  She survives all this crazy stuff, gets back, looks gorgeous, and realizes, I fucking hate this guy.

• 1:00:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, that is the best.

• 1:00:57Hannah Berner?

  Is, and gets out of the marriage. So, it was less changing her body, it was more she changed her mindset.

• 1:01:03Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing like waking up. There's nothing like waking up and being like, wait, you're a fucking loser and this is embarrassing for me. And all my friends. I gotta go.

• 1:01:15Hannah Berner?

  And all my friends, mostly all my friends.

• 1:01:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Truly.

• 1:01:18Hannah Berner?

  You're like, now I have to go on apology tour to my friends. God damn it.

• 1:01:21Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you liter- literally. Like, sorry, that was a weird time. Thanks for sticking by me.

• 1:01:26Hannah Berner?

  The ick is real and I want.

• 1:01:28Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so real. I love it.

• 1:01:30Hannah Berner?

  Ladies, women have been getting the ick since the beginning of the time, but they weren't allowed to cuz we weren't allowed to get divorces, but now we can. So, like, go off. Like, have fun. Um, I love the idea that like nowadays, we can have multiple husbands.

• 1:01:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like even watching like Gilded Age, they're trying to like normalize being divorced cuz like at that time, the only way you could get divorced was if one of you committed adultery and men, men were like accepted back into society, but like after a woman got divorced, even if she wasn't the one that cheated, she like wasn't accepted back into society. They were like, you're done.

• 1:02:10Hannah Berner?

  Well, you're done.

• 1:02:11Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally, you're done. And it's just so crazy, like.

• 1:02:17Hannah Berner?

  In this documentary, Mr. and Mrs. Murder, they're super religious and they're having an affair together and the guy's like, can you divorce your husband so we could be together? Allegedly. And she was like, no, but if you kill him, I think we can. And it's like, that's not logical.

• 1:02:31Paige DeSorbo?

  No, like.

• 1:02:33Hannah Berner?

  God wouldn't like that.

• 1:02:34Paige DeSorbo?

  You know it's really scary.

• 1:02:35Hannah Berner?

  Actually get a divorce.

• 1:02:37Paige DeSorbo?

  You know, it's really scary to think about and maybe this is like something like in your, I mean, you're thirty four, so I'm sure you've thought about it before.

• 1:02:43Hannah Berner?

  I've had a lot of time.

• 1:02:45Paige DeSorbo?

  How many insane people there are and you're like,

• 1:02:50Paige DeSorbo?

  you're allowed to do what I do in everyday life. It's not safe for other people.

• 1:02:54Hannah Berner?

  My favorite thing is when you see someone doing something in public and you're like, how did you make it here? How did you get past?

• 1:03:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Go through the same school system. Okay, the same school system and somehow you're like, you're being crazy.

• 1:03:09Hannah Berner?

  You ever see someone at a restaurant like how they're acting and I'm like, you've been doing this for how many years and no one's punched you in the face?

• 1:03:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Hello, is everyone okay? Everyone needs to get a check. Everyone needs to start summering more and just like calm it down. Calm it down, calm down.

• 1:03:25Hannah Berner?

  Summer Fridays, embrace it, embrace it.

• 1:03:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Live it, learn it, put a summer Fridays mask on.

• 1:03:33Hannah Berner?

  I feel like you just discovered summer this summer.

• 1:03:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I did. I'm like an alien.

• 1:03:38Hannah Berner?

  Have you heard of this thing called summer?

• 1:03:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Summering? Like it's a Sunday and it's like, what will I do? I don't know. I feel like a young Carrie Bradshaw. I'm like, New York is my boyfriend. I could do anything today. The world is at my feet.

• 1:03:51Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to teachers, even though they're so, so, so, so underpaid and undervalued, but at least, people were like, they've been dealing with kids all year. Give them a summer.

• 1:04:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Can I say something? I do love clearing a teacher's list. It's an adrenaline rush like no other. I'm like, fuck, yeah, they need those markers. Are you kidding?

• 1:04:14Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, but I also think the government shouldn't be making teachers have to ask people. Pay for markers, okay?

• 1:04:23Paige DeSorbo?

  I know, actually sometimes looking at the lists, I'm like, wait, this is like, these are such basic things like that.

• 1:04:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, every school should have this.

• 1:04:33Hannah Berner?

  Every school should have it. Give them a clock. How do they know when they're getting to the next?

• 1:04:38Paige DeSorbo?

  And also, I will say, like, as a child, because I love aesthetic, obviously, I'm a pink aura.

• 1:04:43Hannah Berner?

  Love a mark.

• 1:04:44Paige DeSorbo?

  I judged a teacher by her room. Okay, I was like, okay, what's going on here? No effort. The season has been changed.

• 1:04:52Hannah Berner?

  The Feng Shui is really off.

• 1:04:54Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm like, really? We're in November. You still have apples up on your poster board, like, with all our names on it? It's time for snowflakes, bitch.

• 1:05:02Hannah Berner?

  Also, you're like, it's getting busy. Like, let's get some.

• 1:05:05Paige DeSorbo?

  No border? Interesting choice. No border.

• 1:05:08Hannah Berner?

  You go also clashing, clashing colors.

• 1:05:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I was, I was very picky on classroom teachers aesthetic. I'm like, with that outfit, that's crazy work.

• 1:05:20Hannah Berner?

  I just, I love teachers who were exacerbated. Like, I thought it was so cool.

• 1:05:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't think that's the word for what, like, that was.

• 1:05:29Hannah Berner?

  No, but you know when, like, a kid would start acting out and the teacher would be like, Jerome, I'm not doing this with you. Jerome?

• 1:05:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, teachers have such a, like, no, I don't know how they do it. I don't know how they do it. But I did see a TikTok, actually, because I'm, like, deep in, I feel like teacher TikTok. Well, I'm on Amazon looking at so many teacher stuff. My, my phone is like, you're a teacher.

• 1:05:50Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I saw a teacher say, like, never once has she referred to going and being a teacher as going to work. She always says, I'm going to school.

• 1:06:02Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:03Paige DeSorbo?

  And, and teachers were, like, duetting it and being, because one teacher was like, oh, no, I say, like, I have work. And it's like, other teachers were like, it's not work, it's going to school. And I think that's, like, I never thought of that, obviously, because, like, once I left school, I never thought about it again, but.

• 1:06:17Hannah Berner?

  But some of these people, like, they loved, they loved school, so it's like, now they get to do it again and make it, like, amazing for the kids. Shout out to, shout out to my teachers.

• 1:06:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Shout out to teachers, because, like, I feel bad. They're, they're coming through a tough time. It's gonna, they're almost back in, and it's scary.

• 1:06:33Hannah Berner?

  Final note, final note.

• 1:06:36Hannah Berner?

  So I didn't tell you guys because there was drama going on with Grace and Boots.

• 1:06:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:43Hannah Berner?

  And I didn't want to upset the gigglers before it was like dealt with.

• 1:06:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Before we really knew what was going on.

• 1:06:48Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I didn't want you guys like having this on your heart.

• 1:06:51Paige DeSorbo?

  We're not gonna say something that and then you have more questions.

• 1:06:54Hannah Berner?

  Or there's more questions and I don't want it heavy on your heart while you're going through your week.

• 1:06:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:59Hannah Berner?

  So I'm ready to get Boots adopted and the nurse comes back and says, sorry, you can't bring her to Grace. She has a fever. And when a kitten has a fever, that's crazy. Like it's scary. And I was like, is she gonna die? And they were like, we don't know. So I text Grace and I'm like, hey, um Boots is sick and could die. And Grace was like, are you gonna pay for my trauma therapy? And I said, a hundred percent. This is all my fault.

• 1:07:26Paige DeSorbo?

  It's an HR issue.

• 1:07:28Hannah Berner?

  It's an HR issue that we will deal with separately and privately, but she.

• 1:07:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Imagine us dealing with anything separately and also privately. Could you imagine? What a luxury. What a luxury to deal with something separately and privately.

• 1:07:43Hannah Berner?

  The Grace documentary, when it comes out, is gonna be amazing. Um, she's gonna be faceless with her voice distorted.

• 1:07:50Paige DeSorbo?

  There's gonna be so many players and like lore and like twists and turns. It's crazy. We have so many randoms.

• 1:07:58Hannah Berner?

  So Boots is getting taken care of. They're giving her some meds. They're afraid she has this thing called FIP. It's basically like fe- like feline coronavirus. And then the vet takes her home to her house. So we're like that weekend and we're like, oh no, like is Boots being trafficked?

• 1:08:17Hannah Berner?

  The vet was like making sure she's gonna be okay. Finally, this last week, her fever.

• 1:08:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that was so nice of the vet.

• 1:08:24Hannah Berner?

  No, I know. She went above and beyond. Boots has been fever free for five days. She's still gonna be on meds. But Grace has officially taken home Boots as of yesterday. So we all are cat moms and.

• 1:08:36Paige DeSorbo?

  That was quick. You did a quick flip on Grace. How many years is that?

• 1:08:41Hannah Berner?

  Like, three? Three, it's pretty good.

• 1:08:45Paige DeSorbo?

  That's, I mean, mine was like a solid seven.

• 1:08:48Hannah Berner?

  I know, well, that because we had some bumps in the road.

• 1:08:51Paige DeSorbo?

  We had some bumps in the road.

• 1:08:52Hannah Berner?

  We're very busy with our cats, um, and busy summering.

• 1:08:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm so busy summering and I'm not even doing anything. It's just me sitting in my apartment being like, leave me alone.

• 1:09:03Hannah Berner?

  And going, should I put more tanning oil on, you sicko? You sicko, um.

• 1:09:08Paige DeSorbo?

  I've literally been spending too much time in Jersey. I'm just like, sorry, I'm trying to fit in. Sorry, I want the girls to like me. I'm like, hello?

• 1:09:17Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God, you have to smell, what is it? It's, does it have like scent?

• 1:09:21Paige DeSorbo?

  It smells amazing.

• 1:09:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it smells like. It smells like joy and love.

• 1:09:28Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, it's just like, I'm like, guys, I'm so sorry that you're getting such heat right now.

• 1:09:34Hannah Berner?

  They need a new PR team.

• 1:09:35Paige DeSorbo?

  I love letter to my tanning line. They need something like, I mean, it did have a little SPM.

• 1:09:43Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 1:09:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Basically, I was a rotisserie chicken out there and I loved every fucking second of it.

• 1:09:47Hannah Berner?

  Um, we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us and we'll talk to you next week. Bye.

• 1:09:58Speaker 05

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections for what teens see and who can contact them. Plus, time management tools.

• 1:10:07Speaker 05

  And Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences.

• 1:10:15Speaker 05

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:10:28Speaker 06

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