#104 - Caleb Hearon

Caleb Hearon joins the pod for a special Thanksgiving edition to discuss his new movie SWEETHEARTS (Max), his holiday family get-togethers, his favorite treats as a child, Stavvy's off-putting congratulatory text to Caleb, why Caleb loved Jackass as a child, living in a luxury trailer, how Stav triggers Caleb's fight or flight, the presidential election, hiding in a church during a tornado, and much more. Caleb and Stav help callers including a widowed single mom who got friendzoned by her ex, and a guy who feels unjustly obligated to pay for his girlfriend's friend when the three of them go out. Exclusive $45-off Carver Mat at AuraFrames.com. Use code STAVVY at checkout to save! Grab some TDs with DraftKings Sportsbook – they’re on sale from Thanksgiving through Cyber Monday! Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code STAVVY to opt in. For more info, visit https://www.draftkings.com/ Visit https://www.thuma.co/ to get $100 off your first bed purchase. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 1:02Speaker 01

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• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa! Welcome, everybody, to Stav's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, and we'll solve all your problems. It's fucking, it's Thanksgiving. It's the Monday of Thanksgiving, and my beautiful friend Caleb is here. Thanks for coming, Caleb.

• 1:48Speaker 03

  Thanks for having me, buddy.

• 1:49Stavros Halkias?

  How's it going, man?

• 1:50Speaker 03

  It's great. I love being in here.

• 1:51Stavros Halkias?

  You love being in Greece. Eldis just called you a beautiful hulking man.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, Eldis called me a fat fuck. Right before we started recording. By the way, go ahead.

• 2:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a beautiful hulking man myself.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  You are. And brother, look, you're not gonna find any mistreatment from me. I see how you're treated. When the cameras are off. Stavi is not nice to this guy.

• 2:13Stavros Halkias?

  I run a real degenerous style ship around here.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. Watching Stavi's podcast at this point is like buying fucking Nike when they were doing child factory shit. There's some unsavory business practices.

• 2:24Stavros Halkias?

  Don't fucking try to assuage your guilt.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  They stopped.

• 2:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right. Yeah, right. What kind of socks are you wearing, motherfucker? They got the check on them?

• 2:34Speaker 03

  No, my deal with Nike says I can't talk about that.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Gotta pay that mortgage, brother.

• 2:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man. Thank you for coming to Queens. It's beautiful to have you here. I think, what were your Thanksgivings like, man? Because I did a little research. I listened to the podcast you do with your mother, a beautiful person.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  Did you listen to the whole episode?

• 2:55Stavros Halkias?

  I did.

• 2:56Speaker 03

  Oh, she's funny, isn't she?

• 2:57Stavros Halkias?

  She's great. She's great. And you were, it sounds like a little gay terror.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:00Stavros Halkias?

  As a child, you were just a little, just a little emotional.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Homo Al Qaeda leader.

• 3:09Stavros Halkias?

  I'd like to lead with the story about how you weren't grateful about a television she purchased you on Christmas.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:15Stavros Halkias?

  And she clawed, she fought.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:18Stavros Halkias?

  She, Black Friday.

• 3:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:19Stavros Halkias?

  She stood out there, a woman working three jobs.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:22Stavros Halkias?

  To get you a TV for you to watch, I'm gonna guess, Clueless on TBS.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just guessing.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  I would rein it in a little bit.

• 3:30Stavros Halkias?

  Am I off?

• 3:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:34Stavros Halkias?

  If I was off, I'd take it back. But I just feel like I nailed it.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Hey, you're a little comfortable. You're right.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  But it's a little familiar.

• 3:44Stavros Halkias?

  I just guessed. I said, I'm gonna guess. If it was wrong, that's what we like to call a bet, you know? And it hit.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  I'm gambling on what gay guys like. And nine times out of ten, that part is hitting.

• 3:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's hitting, baby. Hey, listen, did I, did me and Eldis watch Clueless on TBS too? Yes.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 4:01Stavros Halkias?

  We had different reasons, maybe, but it's all good. And you, that really stuck out to me, but I've just, I wanted to imagine what, what your, what your things, what your typical Thanksgiving setup was like. Where did you go? Cause you also have a very interesting, your family's interesting. You have like a lot of, uh, like you were close to your grandparents, but your dad wasn't really around. Like you're close to his side of the family, but he was out and about. I'd love to get into him.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:28Stavros Halkias?

  He sounds cool.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  I love, by the way, just looking over at my friend saying to me, your dad wasn't really around? And by the way, a turkey costume.

• 4:36Stavros Halkias?

  Turkey costume, right into your broken home.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:39Stavros Halkias?

  Talking about the holidays, which is probably the time it's the most painful to think about your.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Happy Thanksgiving.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  Your dad not being around.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  My guest today was not lovable enough as a child, and so his father did clock out. Caleb, thoughts?

• 4:56Stavros Halkias?

  Why do you think your dad left?

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  On this beautiful Thanksgiving Monday, why do you think?

• 5:03Speaker 03

  So you're sitting around watching these faggy little movies, I imagine. And your dad can't tolerate it. So he goes to get milk and never quite makes it back.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  What do you think of that?

• 5:15Stavros Halkias?

  What do you think of that? He probably got distracted watching other boys playing football.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:19Stavros Halkias?

  Playing two-hand touch.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  I'll tell you what.

• 5:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you were in there.

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Oh my God. And you know what? You know what a lot of people don't talk about? Jackass.

• 5:26Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Jackass was great for gay boys.

• 5:29Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Cause all the older, all the cute older guys were like getting into like ball sack stuff.

• 5:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  They're like, dude, what if my ball sack was out? And I was like, what if?

• 5:38Speaker 03

  What if it was, brother?

• 5:39Stavros Halkias?

  What if it was? That's just, I never, see, I thought the ball sack was a, a safe space. Cause it couldn't really, it didn't feel sexual.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  You thought that's many, many straight guys think that the ball sack is a non-sexual, a site of neutrality.

• 5:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, it's the Switzerland of genitalia.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  You have no idea what it could do for me. This benefits me in ways you cannot imagine.

• 6:01Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  You have no idea. A ball sack, I had friends in high school that were obsessed with doing ball sack bits. And every time I was like, I like to see that.

• 6:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  You know, it is nice to see that.

• 6:09Stavros Halkias?

  The brain.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Hanging brain.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Just to see a ball sack and just to know that I'm not really supposed to see the ball sack.

• 6:14Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  You know, it was hot and then they.

• 6:16Stavros Halkias?

  Something a little naughty.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  Also, they couldn't help themselves. They get the ball sack out for the bit and then all of a sudden they wanna put a top hat on their dicks and other dicks out. You know, and I never minded. I said, go ahead.

• 6:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  Jackass was very homosexual to me.

• 6:27Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. Well, it definitely, I could, you turn that one degree and it's, it's the first part of gay porn, a very specific gay porn.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  Maybe a half a degree.

• 6:37Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe, maybe you just turn the cameras off and you could imagine they're sucking.

• 6:40Speaker 03

  You tell Lance Bangs to go get a breather.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  Why don't you fucking dump the footage, man? We're gonna

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Steveo just got stung by a thousand bees. We're gonna suck him off as a treat.

• 6:56Stavros Halkias?

  It seems only fair to me.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Get Johnny Knoxville's gay little ass in there. He was cute.

• 7:01Stavros Halkias?

  He was cute. They were cute, cute guy. Even Bam, at the time, you know, as a little skater. In his skater twink era, I could see.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, the one with the beard was cute.

• 7:09Stavros Halkias?

  Ryan Dunn, may he rest in peace.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  May he rest in peace. So they were all doing it for me. But my Thanksgivings, my grandma, my grandma always hosted.

• 7:16Stavros Halkias?

  Grandma's the best. That's a great Thanksgiving.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Dude, you wanna, okay, I'll tell you a story.

• 7:20Stavros Halkias?

  Please.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Since you wanna hear about my dad.

• 7:21Stavros Halkias?

  I do. I actually do. Cause there wasn't, and by the way, we're here, Caleb, we were both in a movie. That's Thanksgiving themed, Sweethearts. It's out on HBO, or I guess just Max now.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:35Stavros Halkias?

  Right? It's on Max.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  It's on Max on Thanksgiving.

• 7:37Stavros Halkias?

  Max on Thanksgiving in a couple of days. This is Monday. We're preparing you for Thanksgiving. You're in it. You're, you're very, I'm in it for a little bit. You got, you got one scene of me.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  And you kill it.

• 7:47Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. I appreciate it.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  Murder it. The improv comes through.

• 7:50Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. Yes.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:52Stavros Halkias?

  I got to yell at two young actors, two successful. At the time, that was my first acting gig I'd ever done, and I had to be a guy yelling at the stars of the movie.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  At two hot.

• 8:03Stavros Halkias?

  Two hot, like 22 year olds or whatever they are. And it was fun to do, cause it was like, I'm a piece of shit. It felt real. I was playing a piece of shit down on his luck.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:13Stavros Halkias?

  I was pretty close. My courage did take off after that. I was kind of a piece of shit.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Down on his luck.

• 8:19Stavros Halkias?

  Down on his luck.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  And so I really took it out on Nico and Kiernan. You know, I really let him have it.

• 8:26Speaker 03

  You texted me, I didn't, I wasn't there for your scene, cause I, that was a, a part of the filming block that my character wasn't in yet. And you texted me, I guess you had seen maybe like part of the script or something, but I have a big role in the movie.

• 8:37Stavros Halkias?

  You do.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  And you texted me, I, I don't know why I remember this, but I will not forget it. You text me, dude, I'm really excited for you. You really get to let your nuts hang in this one.

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  We weren't even like really good, like we hadn't even met in person yet. I just thought you were a funny guy.

• 8:55Speaker 03

  Stop it, idiot.

• 8:56Stavros Halkias?

  But you do, you do get to let your nuts hang.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  I do get to let my nuts hang as Palmer.

• 9:03Speaker 03

  A gay teen.

• 9:05Stavros Halkias?

  You're a gay teen, yes, which, and we shot this, what, two years ago?

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Uh, in fact, three.

• 9:09Stavros Halkias?

  Three.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:10Stavros Halkias?

  So you were playing a gay teen, you were 26 years old at the time?

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, I would have been 26, 27.

• 9:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  I think it was like two and a half years ago.

• 9:17Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 9:18Speaker 03

  I was, I was playing a teenager.

• 9:19Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  For that, by the way.

• 9:20Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, it's about time fat people get to do that. You know what I mean? They never let a fat 27-year-old play a teen. It's all, you know what I mean? You're, you honestly are breaking the glass ceiling.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  I am.

• 9:31Stavros Halkias?

  Dawson's Creek, all that shit, every teen movie, it's always like 20, 27, 28-year-olds.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:37Stavros Halkias?

  They keep it tight.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:39Stavros Halkias?

  They don't let.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  Thin, beautiful.

• 9:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, they don't let my boy out here.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  I'm crashing through the glass doors of the buffet.

• 9:44Stavros Halkias?

  You're Kool-Aid Manning through.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  I'm doing it for all of us. I'm doing it for all of us.

• 9:48Stavros Halkias?

  And I love that.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  I'm breaking the plastic launcher for fat guys.

• 9:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, you are, brother.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  Busting it in.

• 9:54Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so that's, so basically, just to give a little context, everybody, that's why we're doing this Thanksgiving episode. And I also had another thing, I'm, I'm a bad host, because I was gonna say, we're talking about Thanksgiving. Anyways, Thanksgiving movie, oh, and, uh, and to prepare for this podcast, like I said, I listened to the episode with your mom. Go, so plug the movie, and then also just go watch that, only that episode of So True with Caleb, just the one with his mom.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Just the one, yeah.

• 10:19Stavros Halkias?

  And then come right back here. Don't subscribe, the last thing I need.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 10:24Stavros Halkias?

  Is for people that actually prefer you, that I kind of scratch 50% of what it is, because I'm like, not as problematic as other straight.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:32Stavros Halkias?

  Comics, they find you, if, the Venn diagram.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:35Stavros Halkias?

  I know, so.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  You're in big trouble.

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  Don't check out too much of Caleb's stuff.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:39Stavros Halkias?

  If you're, if you're coming over because you don't like, you know, if you, if, if I'm just the least problematic of all the available options.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:47Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna love him, we also have the lovable fat guy thing, you're crushing me on that too.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, if you guys like Stavi, you're gonna love me.

• 10:55Stavros Halkias?

  Well, certain parts of the audio, let's not get crazy. It's not a full thing. I don't want, I don't want to lose all the women, basically. The few women we've gripped to get onto this podcast. Don't abandon me for Caleb. I know, I know you'd like, you'd like a funner, uh, you know, gay version of me who's even, who's more worldly. You know, just has more energy to, doesn't phone in his podcast. You try, you had researched, you had asked me stuff.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:22Stavros Halkias?

  I just watched one podcast while I was doing the dishes. That's all I've done.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  If you guys are watching Stavi and going, I love this. I wish I knew who this guy voted for. Come on over to So True Podcast. Come on, the politics are right over there. Stavi's doing this mysterious playing the middle thing. Don't worry about it, guys. Come over to So True, we're gonna take good care of you.

• 11:44Stavros Halkias?

  How dare you. It's not, here, here's the thing. Here's where we are. Ready? I won't let you, like, I definitely didn't vote for Trump, but you don't know if I voted for Kamala.

• 11:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:54Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Whereas you, we know MSNBC Caleb over here.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  You actually don't know what I did.

• 12:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 12:01Speaker 03

  You think you do, but you'll notice I never said I was voting for Kamala.

• 12:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, shit.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  No, I didn't.

• 12:08Speaker 03

  But I was dismayed about it. But I voted in Missouri, so I felt like it made a more difference.

• 12:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's fair, that's fair.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  I voted in New York and it didn't matter what you did anyway.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Right.

• 12:17Stavros Halkias?

  So.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  You voted, you wrote in Stavros.

• 12:19Stavros Halkias?

  I wrote in myself.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  Hey, as a ticket, we would kill.

• 12:23Stavros Halkias?

  We would kill.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  We would win every electoral vote.

• 12:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  But you probably wouldn't even do that with me.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  You probably don't even want to run for office.

• 12:32Stavros Halkias?

  I'd love to be, I would be VP though. I don't want to be president.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Oh, for sure. There's no chance.

• 12:36Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, what is that? I was being nice. I'm older, I'm more experienced, I'm smarter.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Holy.

• 12:41Stavros Halkias?

  Thirty-five.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  You could, you could run.

• 12:43Stavros Halkias?

  I'm the only one who could run. I'm, between me and you, I can, I'm the only one who could legally run.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:48Stavros Halkias?

  So show some respect to your elders, is what I'm saying.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Fucking, you're being great.

• 12:51Stavros Halkias?

  So the point I'm making is, don't, actually, don't even watch someone with his mom. Don't, I'd, forget I mentioned his podcast.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 12:57Stavros Halkias?

  But, watch the movie. It's a Thanksgiving movie. And, back to the Thanksgiving question about your grandfather.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Do you want to, just while we're talking about all this, do you want to tell them that, uh, you have refused to have me on your show until it was about a movie that you're also in? You have ducked me at every turn.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  You have dodged me at parties.

• 13:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  You've seen me on the subway and run the other way.

• 13:22Stavros Halkias?

  I've absolutely ducked out. Wow, I love looking at photos of my most cherished loved ones possessions and experiences.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  No, Thanksgiving. Okay, so here's a story for you.

• 13:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  About my absentee father.

• 13:34Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Who has died um at this point, so we can talk about this stuff.

• 13:37Stavros Halkias?

  R I P.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  He won Thanksgiving. My dad was a really confusing kind of guy where he was like, my dad, you could never really pin him down. Like he in one sentence, he would be like Hillary Clinton is a lizard and then he'd be like, fuck the police, you know, like he just was such a.

• 13:51Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  No, he was awesome. He couldn't pin him down and it was honestly, he was fascinating.

• 13:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  But he, he like sometimes would have this really strange moral uprightness kind of thing, even though he wasn't a super conservative guy. Didn't make a lot of sense. He was like a video gamer. I don't know.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, early gamer.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  Early gamer. Built PCs and shit. Like my dad, my dad really was brilliant. Like he was a very smart guy.

• 14:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Also an asshole.

• 14:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  Uh, so he was really funny.

• 14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 03

  But one Thanksgiving, me and my, my uncle Andy uh were playing Wii Fit. We were like doing the Wii Fit stuff. And Andy was uh balding at the time. It is still balding, sorry Andy. And it's, it's relevant.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  I'm like, Andy is a little rough.

• 14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Snaggletooth, he's got fucking cross eyed.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  He's a very handsome gentleman who I love dearly.

• 14:39Stavros Halkias?

  Love it.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  But he, he was balding at the time and it matters because he had gotten like a much older Wii Fit score than me. You know, he had gotten like eighty two or something. You know how that game is.

• 14:47Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 14:48Speaker 03

  And we were sitting at the dinner, my dad's sitting in the living room and on Thanksgiving, this is when I was like maybe sixteen.

• 14:54Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  Right? And my whole family, I've gotten a driver's license now.

• 14:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's big.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  My whole family is worried that I'm gonna stop coming around to my dad's side because me and my, because my dad's kind of an asshole. And they're like, oh, maybe when Caleb has a choice, he won't come around. They're worried about that and they're telling me that. My grandma's going, I know your dad's kind of an asshole. Please continue to come around.

• 15:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  So I'm now bringing myself.

• 15:15Stavros Halkias?

  This on Thanksgiving?

• 15:16Speaker 03

  This is Thanksgiving Day.

• 15:17Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  And we're having the meal, extended family is over. And I'm giving Andy shit about, you know, we're goofing off. And I was like, I was like, oh, the guy who's eighty two years old, this eighty two year old over here or something. Some stupid little joke about our we fit ages, because we're goofing off.

• 15:31Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  My dad, for some reason in the other room, thinks that I am disrespecting Andy and doesn't know the context of the we fit, I guess.

• 15:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  And thinks I'm just like cracking a joke about somebody's age.

• 15:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, you're being ageist.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I am, but not in that moment.

• 15:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're against the old.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  I don't like helping with it.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 15:49Stavros Halkias?

  Because you never plan on becoming one.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, certainly not.

• 15:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you plan on checking out.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  Past forty five.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  So, so I make this joke to Andy and my dad stands up in the living room and starts screaming at me.

• 16:01Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, middle of Thanksgiving.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Middle of Thanksgiving. Mind you, we're all eating at the table. He's eating in the living room. This is the kind of guy we're talking about.

• 16:07Stavros Halkias?

  He's just, oh, this is main meal.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  This is the meal.

• 16:10Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, this isn't even the post, the second meal where everyone's on the couch watching football. No. Some are having dessert, some are having their second course. This is the one.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Where everyone's grabbed their first roll.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  And he's by himself in the living room?

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Not by himself. My grandpa always watches TV in there. It's actually, that part's not that weird for us, but anyway.

• 16:26Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  He stands up, starts screaming at me and I'm like, shell shocked because I literally at this point, I don't, I can't understand why I'm getting in trouble.

• 16:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 03

  And my dad also, as much of an asshole as he is, he's never like screamed at me.

• 16:37Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Like, like going off.

• 16:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  And I was like, what is going on? But before I could say anything, my uncle Travis, who is ten, twelve years younger than my dad. And like a total, my cool hippie guy, he like lives on a farm in rural Missouri and just like, he's just like a total, he has no phone. You can't get a hold of him.

• 16:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  He's like, he like studied like sculpture in community college and then moved out and took over the farm from his dad. He's a total like Missouri hippie.

• 17:03Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Zen dude. I think the first book he recommended to me was Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

• 17:09Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell, yeah.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  Okay, he's like, he's like a chiller.

• 17:11Stavros Halkias?

  Chill dude.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, and like a thinker and like a quiet guy. My uncle Travis, my dad starts in, he maybe gets thirty seconds into his yelling. And my uncle Travis stands up and goes, shut the fuck up, man. Now, now he's screaming at my dad.

• 17:25Stavros Halkias?

  Just riles up, riles up your coolest, most chill uncle.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Oh, he's, and then so now all of, all of us were definitely dismayed by dad, but not shocked.

• 17:32Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  Now that Uncle Travis is yelling, we're all like, whoa.

• 17:35Stavros Halkias?

  What's going on? Yeah, yeah. What's in the air? Yeah, yeah.

• 17:38Speaker 03

  My dad du- is shocked and does sit down and shut up.

• 17:42Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 17:42Speaker 03

  And then it was like, we just kind of go back to having the meal.

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  And later on to Andy, I was like, I mean, obviously that was insane, but did you know what I was after with that?

• 17:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  And he was like, yeah, I don't know what your dad was on about. We were having fun and.

• 17:57Stavros Halkias?

  He just chose that moment to just fucking.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  He just lost, and it was really funny because my dad has, my dad has a lot of iconic blowups.

• 18:03Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Like, like, most of our, like, now that he's passed, a lot of our, like, when we're sitting around laughing about old dad stories, it's a lot of like, remember that time he went off on the milkman?

• 18:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  It's like.

• 18:15Stavros Halkias?

  How embarrassing of him, for him. Yeah, yeah.

• 18:17Speaker 03

  We look back fondly on his meltdowns.

• 18:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  But this one was so bizarre.

• 18:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I had a meltdown dad too, but it was, it was never, we still don't have too much fondness. Just a lot of broken coffee tables and, you know.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  So it wasn't the one.

• 18:31Stavros Halkias?

  It was a lot of, yeah, threatening to, uh, well, YouTube has been frowning upon this, the thing my dad threatened to do. You really can't talk about it too much on YouTube anymore, but, you know, kind of, let's say he kept threatening to check out when things weren't going his way.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  King.

• 18:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Sorry to say, that's awesome.

• 18:52Stavros Halkias?

  He really behaved like, uh, kind of like a, yeah, kind of like, um, Sky Ferrera type insane, you know, uh, you know, like, uh, uh, B, what is it? The manic, what's the thing that hot girls have?

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Manic pixie dream girl.

• 19:09Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, the like, the one where they're insane and.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Uh, BPD?

• 19:13Stavros Halkias?

  BPD, yeah. He kind of had a little BPD vibes going.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  By the way.

• 19:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Just want to check in with you.

• 19:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  It's not just girls who have BPD.

• 19:25Stavros Halkias?

  I just think of it as a hot girl disease.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay, okay.

• 19:28Stavros Halkias?

  Because some of the best pussy of all time also goes hand in hand.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:31Stavros Halkias?

  And I think my dad had a little bit of that going on.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:34Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm like, it's not good pussy.

• 19:38Stavros Halkias?

  I honestly don't think my dad had good pussy if I had to guess not a big not big on hygiene. He was out there a lot of sawdust in his pussy if I had to guess. Nothing you're interested in.

• 19:54Stavros Halkias?

  Not even want to talk about my dad's ass.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  When you talk about pussy, I've told you this before, it triggers my fight or flight. It's such a scary, it's such a scary thing to me because you're such a, I like you a lot. You're such a lovable guy. And then when you talk about pussy, it's like I'm reminded that you're kind of an animal.

• 20:11Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I am. Sometimes you have that, you know, you have, you can have, people had like alligators as pets.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:17Stavros Halkias?

  Or rhinoceroses, you know what I mean? Like that's kinda, I'm like, we're like in, uh, that friendship where it's like a dog and a cheetah. You know what I mean? I'm obviously the cheetah.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  Unlike, of course.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  I'm adorable and you're like a little dangerous.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  People were, when you came on my show, there were a lot of comments, people being like, I am shocked at the divide.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  I, okay, I love it.

• 20:43Stavros Halkias?

  No, but, but it makes sense though, because you also are, you're straight up from Missouri. You, you can hang with anyone, dude. You know what I mean?

• 20:50Speaker 03

  That's the goal.

• 20:51Stavros Halkias?

  That is the, and, and that is also part of it of like, because you grew up in a very, like a small ass.

• 20:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:57Stavros Halkias?

  Town where like, as you were saying, everybody's like pretty, you know, just the, I would assume that the, uh, you know, where you start is like, kinda conservative, like most people are, you know, Christian, you know, super religious, that kinda thing.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  Everyone is straight, white, Christian.

• 21:16Stavros Halkias?

  Damn, yeah.

• 21:16Speaker 03

  E- everyone is straight, white, Christian. There might be a couple, there are a couple Democrats sprinkled in there, but they keep it real tight.

• 21:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  It's not something you talk about. You know, it's something the town kind of knows.

• 21:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  They're like, Pam's a Democrat.

• 21:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 21:30Speaker 03

  We just, you know, it's like, that's, that's her thing.

• 21:32Stavros Halkias?

  Don't bring that up.

• 21:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:33Stavros Halkias?

  Don't bring it up in mixed company.

• 21:35Speaker 03

  Let her do it, it doesn't matter, she doesn't have any allies.

• 21:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  As long as it's not spreading.

• 21:39Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally, totally.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  It's like very, very straight, white, conservative out there.

• 21:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that's the, and, and it's just, it's interesting, because I think, but you. So you could just hang with that that type of guy also?

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:52Stavros Halkias?

  So anybody even a little off that, you're good.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  I'm chilling.

• 21:56Stavros Halkias?

  You're chilling, dude.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  I think same with you. You hang out with all kinds of people.

• 21:58Stavros Halkias?

  I um, I grew up around the dumbest, you know, fucking most ignorant trash of all time.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you also, you, it's interesting because people, people that, like people that are very left and very like a little like, you know, like, they, they still love you.

• 22:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  That's very interesting.

• 22:15Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's the thing. That's, we gotta stop being tattletales.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:19Stavros Halkias?

  The people on the left, if, if, if anything has been proven, it's that like, you can't be the, people, even though it's unfair, that is the perception. Is anyone, people say, when, when, and look, some of them are dumb. I've talked to my friends who I'm like, the left doesn't just mean getting you fired because you said slurs.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 22:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's a whole other set of beliefs, but it's like, I'm firmly on the anti-tattletale thing. We gotta be cool chill bros. You know, we gotta say pussy every once in a while.

• 22:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:48Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 22:49Speaker 03

  And I'm allowing it.

• 22:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  I'm gonna say my feelings about it, but I'm ultimately on your show. Why didn't you say pussy? And I knew it would come up, you know? I came here knowing that pussy would, would arise in the convo.

• 23:01Stavros Halkias?

  Again, you're the, I said pussy. I'm trying to be an ally.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  You at first said, I think my dad has good pussy in BPD.

• 23:10Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, immediately I realized now I did actually say pussy.

• 23:17Stavros Halkias?

  Strike that from the record, please. Let that show, um.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  What, what do you think about this idea that we need a, uh, you know, something that's popped up out of the election is people being like, we need a leftist Joe Rogan. What do you think of that?

• 23:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's hilarious. Um, I don't, what, what would that even look like?

• 23:32Speaker 03

  Right.

• 23:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like, what is that?

• 23:34Speaker 03

  That's what I'm wondering.

• 23:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I mean, I guess they just mean. Maybe it's just a kind of media that is not explicitly about politics.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:44Stavros Halkias?

  And then you just like get people into like you and then it's like at the end you kind of switch, switcheroo them.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cause even like it is, I am actually kind of shocked that he support, like he endorsed Trump. Like that actually was shocking to me too. Like I know him. I didn't think that was something he would do.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:04Stavros Halkias?

  And I think maybe that's more the thing of like get people in, get them, gets like, yeah, no shit. It would be great to have an insanely popular pop culture figure.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:14Stavros Halkias?

  That has your politics. Duh, that would be good to have.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  But it's interesting that he escapes. I was extremely disappointed in his endorsement of Trump.

• 24:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Not because it's Trump.

• 24:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  Also that, but because I was like, oh, I didn't have a ton of respect for that guy personally. I lost any shred that I did have. And I gotta say, I lost some respect for Tim Dillon having J D Vance on.

• 24:32Stavros Halkias?

  J D Vance stinks. Yeah, I agree with you.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  I was like, dog, what do you do? I loved him, but I'm like, what are you doing?

• 24:36Stavros Halkias?

  I know. And I also think it's weird to this elec- to see this election and be like, to think either one of them was good, to be honest, was like, I would, I, I get not being pumped about Kamala. That I do fully understand, right? But to then be like, well, that means Trump's good. I mean, that's how like little kids think. It's either A or B. But I mean, that is the problem with the, the like two party system. You automatically think if you don't like the thing you have always supported, if you come from like traditional Democrat, like a lot of people in fucking New York voted for Trump. A lot of AOC voters voted for Trump because they were like, and she did a thing where she was like, I asked my constituents who voted for both me and Trump, why they did it?

• 25:16Stavros Halkias?

  And they were like, he's trying to shake it up just like you. You're both outs like, and it's that thought. And it's like, well, now we'll see like.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:25Stavros Halkias?

  You know, hopefully, you know, he's already, Matt Gaetz is already fucking the, uh,

• 25:29Speaker 03

  Hilarious Attorney General.

• 25:31Stavros Halkias?

  Just a straight up pedophile.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Attorney General. Being investigated for child sex trafficking.

• 25:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, these are the people that say any gay guy is a groomer. And you put a literal guy under investigation for sex trafficking as the attorney gen- I mean, what the fuck are we doing here?

• 25:46Speaker 03

  They're like in the same breath. They're like, we're worried about the integrity of women swimming.

• 25:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  If trans women are allowed in the pool. And then they're like, I think the child sex trafficking guy should be the head lawman. Are you fucking nuts?

• 25:58Stavros Halkias?

  And he just looks stupid as shit, by the way.

• 26:00Speaker 03

  Oh, his work is horrible.

• 26:01Stavros Halkias?

  The filler's tough.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, his work is horrible.

• 26:03Stavros Halkias?

  He's looking like, he's looking like, uh, the Beauty and the Beast.

• 26:05Speaker 03

  It's not good over there. The work is bad. Well, a lot of their work is bad.

• 26:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:09Speaker 03

  Cause you try, imagine what a, uh, right wing, uh...

• 26:13Stavros Halkias?

  Plastic surgery?

• 26:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Imagine like a right wing lip filler guy.

• 26:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  It's not, that's not good. You need a gay person.

• 26:18Stavros Halkias?

  You need, you need enough gay guys to form a quorum to tell you if it's good or not.

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Ironically, you need somebody who does like gender-affirming surgery.

• 26:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  They need some of the trans doctors.

• 26:28Stavros Halkias?

  They do.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  To get their work right.

• 26:29Stavros Halkias?

  I've, I am so, like, the, I've had, I'm working on this idea where it's like, even if you hate trans people, right? The like doctors, like if, they can make, they will make you some of the ugliest people, right? Like these, these transphobic people, right? It's like, trans doctors are fucking figuring shit out, man. They are like...

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Oh, they're lacing cheeks.

• 26:51Stavros Halkias?

  They are fucking doing incredible stuff and they're work, gender-affirming carriers. That's a, that's a tight, sometimes that can be a tight window to, like I said, making like, if you're born a dude and you become a sexy lady, it's like, that's impressive.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:04Stavros Halkias?

  It takes a lot of work. It's a lot harder than be, going from fat to not fat.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'll tell you that much.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Well...

• 27:10Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 27:10Speaker 03

  It's pretty hard to lose weight.

• 27:13Stavros Halkias?

  There's some easy steps, Caleb. Then we can fucking do it, bro. I'm saying, but they, they respect that so much and it's, I mean, yeah, for us.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:22Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, for us, yeah.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  Maybe for somebody.

• 27:26Stavros Halkias?

  But like, like, like, uh, my example, Ben Shapiro, squeaky voice.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're telling me trans doctors aren't gonna figure out?

• 27:34Speaker 03

  A little tea and a voice coach?

• 27:35Stavros Halkias?

  How to, exactly.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  A little testosterone and a voice coach, we can fix you right up, brother.

• 27:39Stavros Halkias?

  Ben Shapiro should be on board just to get that deep. He could be fucking awesome, you know what I mean?

• 27:43Speaker 03

  You know what I'm worried about?

• 27:44Stavros Halkias?

  I want, I want beards, you know what I mean? Like...

• 27:47Speaker 03

  You want more beard?

• 27:48Stavros Halkias?

  I want, I want like a beard, a sicker beard. They're working on that shit.

• 27:51Speaker 03

  I think they could do that for you. I think there might be something in Turkey happening.

• 27:53Stavros Halkias?

  Should I go to Turkey?

• 27:54Speaker 03

  Check it out.

• 27:55Stavros Halkias?

  I might.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  If you want to. I think you'll look great.

• 27:57Stavros Halkias?

  But anyway, fuck, you know, fuck Matt Gaetz, whatever.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Do you know what I'm worried about?

• 28:01Stavros Halkias?

  What's that?

• 28:01Speaker 03

  I did, uh, Zee Way's show yesterday. We recorded it, it's not out yet. I don't know if it'll be out by the time this comes out.

• 28:06Stavros Halkias?

  You're canceled by the time this comes out?

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Well, I did, I did go on a pretty, here's the thing.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  I went on a long rant. She basically was listing off Republican figures and I called every one of them faggots.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  In a row, like I was like, I was like, he's faggy, he's faggy, he's faggy.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  And she, she, she doing the interview was like, I'm a little worried about you saying all of this. But I was, it was in a joking spirit, you know? And she was like, she was like, she was like, so you think they're gay? And I was like, no, I don't think, I'm not guessing at their sexuality. I'm saying, putting on an L L Bean flannel and rolling up the sleeves and pretending to be working class.

• 28:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's drag.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  That's drag. And it's faggy. You know, it's like a little faggy. And so I'm worried, I'm worried that the interview is gonna come out cut up and I'm gonna look and gay people are gonna get mad at me.

• 28:54Stavros Halkias?

  Well, here, here, now.

• 28:56Speaker 03

  Say it now.

• 28:56Stavros Halkias?

  Say it now.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  I don't mean.

• 28:57Stavros Halkias?

  We don't edit anything.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. We put it out.

• 29:01Stavros Halkias?

  The audio's bad on this show.

• 29:04Stavros Halkias?

  So you get, you have the floor.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  To do whatever you want.

• 29:08Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever slur you want, little buddy. We'll let that fly on Stavi's world.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  They are just kind of.

• 29:14Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  It's just interesting to me that all these right wing guys that are cornering the market on, because everyone's in a moral panic right now about young men.

• 29:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes, yes.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  And you have a lot of young men fans.

• 29:24Stavros Halkias?

  And we're trying to get them, this is trying to, this is the anti incel podcast.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:28Stavros Halkias?

  The whole idea is if I can do it, you can do it, my friend.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Brother.

• 29:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's all I'm saying to the boys out there. Don't go the Tate route. Come to Stavi's world.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:35Stavros Halkias?

  We will get you some pussy.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  I'm on board now.

• 29:39Stavros Halkias?

  We will get you some pussy and we will see the results in the ballot box. Is that what you want?

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm here for, Caleb.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  Let's use, let's use young men wanting pussy as a vehicle to get to the ballot.

• 29:51Stavros Halkias?

  And that's, that's the secret of, let's be honest, all of civilization.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 29:55Stavros Halkias?

  Unfortunately. Also, in terms of, it's just, look, this is the politics corner now. And since we're doing it, you should be, everyone should be pro women's choice, even, I mean, you just should be, but it's like, just think of it as, if you want to be pro busting.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:12Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta be pro choice.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  If you like to nut.

• 30:14Stavros Halkias?

  If you want to nut in a woman, you gotta be pro choice.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:18Stavros Halkias?

  Full stop.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:19Stavros Halkias?

  Full stop. Hear me now, young man.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Tell them.

• 30:22Stavros Halkias?

  If you want a bust, you must be pro choice.

• 30:27Stavros Halkias?

  We did it. We saved democracy, Caleb.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  We did it just now. No, but I do think it's funny that like these, these guys that are cornering the manhood conversation.

• 30:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  Like Andrew Tate.

• 30:36Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Like Matt Gaetz, like.

• 30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  All these guys, Ben Shapiro.

• 30:39Stavros Halkias?

  They're not pretty gay.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  They're, they're not, they're not, they're not compelling. They're not strong. They're all weak, limp wristed, like.

• 30:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:47Speaker 03

  Smarmy little creatures. I'm like, all the men I grew up with would have actively hated you on sight.

• 30:53Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 30:54Speaker 03

  On sight.

• 30:54Stavros Halkias?

  For sure, for sure.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  I just don't understand how it happened.

• 30:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  How they got the conversation on manhood.

• 30:59Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. It's interesting. I don't know.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  More manly than those guys.

• 31:02Stavros Halkias?

  You are.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  And I'm like, I don't.

• 31:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're stronger.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  And my boys come to me.

• 31:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Boys, come on over to, boys, hear me now.

• 31:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:08Speaker 03

  Boys, hear me now. If you want to not, you have got to vote for abortion rights. Put it down. Put my applause.

• 31:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. That's our fucking, that's our, that's, in, in, uh, five years, I guess, we're gonna have to wait two presidential cycles.

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 31:24Stavros Halkias?

  When you're the.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  When we run together.

• 31:26Stavros Halkias?

  When we run together.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:27Stavros Halkias?

  Chop this up, build this. Here in Halkias, 2020, oh fuck, it'll be 2030, damn.

• 31:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:33Stavros Halkias?

  2032.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Hey.

• 31:34Stavros Halkias?

  Is it Heron?

• 31:35Speaker 03

  One of us won't be here.

• 31:39Stavros Halkias?

  Place your bets, folks.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Who's gonna make it?

• 31:42Stavros Halkias?

  Get on Polymarket right now and ask what half of this ticket's gonna make it to the run.

• 31:49Stavros Halkias?

  But we will see to it that our ideas make it, even though, though we will have expired, our ideas will live forever. We will be immortal through our. If you must bust, you must vote for abortion rights.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  There's, we're gonna work on the wording for sure.

• 32:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  We'll get work on it.

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  Cause must bust is killing.

• 32:05Speaker 03

  Must bust.

• 32:06Stavros Halkias?

  But the back half is sloppy.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  A little sloppy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 32:09Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Right now, it's kind of a, it's like, if you wanna bust, you must get to the ballot box and support a woman's rights to shoot.

• 32:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's.

• 32:19Stavros Halkias?

  We gotta, we gotta clean it up and we will.

• 32:22Speaker 03

  We will.

• 32:22Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely will.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Well, we've got a couple of years.

• 32:24Stavros Halkias?

  We've got a couple of years. Well, yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  I always tell my friend, we need someone to start a party in this country that is, it's called Rent and Dinner.

• 32:30Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  The Rent and Dinner Party. And that's all I give a fuck about.

• 32:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yep. Rent is low. You can buy a nice dinner.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  You can afford to go to Chili's.

• 32:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  And the rent is affordable and a triple dipper is an option every night of the week.

• 32:41Stavros Halkias?

  Get a triple dipper. We are fucking crushing. Dude, we're filling out the whole platform right now.

• 32:46Speaker 03

  A triple dipper on every table.

• 32:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  A rent check in every mailbox. And, and, and somebody to come with in every bed.

• 32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  That'd be beautiful.

• 32:57Stavros Halkias?

  I love it. You were, were you always like a, did you do like, uh, like student government? Were you like a political, yeah, hell yeah, dude, hell yeah. You've been running, I did too. I ran for some stuff.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  I was an intense little, I was an intense little zealot.

• 33:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  I was hardcore. I was like, I, my energy in high school could best be described as just like.

• 33:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  Like I was just like, I wanted.

• 33:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 33:21Speaker 03

  You know, anything, anything to get attention, but for the, for not being gay.

• 33:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right. So you were channeling it. So you were entertaining. You also had that, I think everybody who ends up being a comedian can be so annoying before because they have to get those laughs out somewhere.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Anywhere.

• 33:36Stavros Halkias?

  So you have that like performer, like you're both a closeted performer and a closeted gay man all at once.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:42Stavros Halkias?

  And so you got, I'm, that fucking, I bet that student body government, like, that shot out like a fire hose.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, it's like, it's like tap dancing and sneakers and being like, it's not gay because I'm not wearing the shoes.

• 33:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Just put on the shoes, brother.

• 33:58Stavros Halkias?

  So you, you.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, yeah, it was.

• 34:00Stavros Halkias?

  Who are we kidding here?

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Who are we kidding? I was so into student council. I was so into school spirit.

• 34:05Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm. That's another one of my longstanding theories that parades aren't as good since gay guys have been able to come out of the closet.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:13Stavros Halkias?

  The 4th of July parades in the 40s, are you kidding me? The 50s?

• 34:16Speaker 03

  My god, the.

• 34:16Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's all they had, dude. That's all those guys had.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  I do think gay being illegal again would really, I would come more than ever.

• 34:24Stavros Halkias?

  You would.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  I would come harder than I've ever come.

• 34:26Stavros Halkias?

  I would have to guess the sex would be much hotter.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  The sex was crazy. Who was I talking to?

• 34:31Stavros Halkias?

  You're a freedom fighter every time you fuck a guy. That must feel cool.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  There was some, yeah, it's revolutionary. It's literally red. Every time I suck some guy off, it's Red Dawn.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  It's a fight for freedom. It's in, it's the war for independence.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  If a guy blows me in the park, that's literally like the Boston Tea Party.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  I can't remember who told me this, but some older gay guy told a friend of mine who related to me. He said, my favorite thing to do back when, you know, when being like the seventies and eighties when being gay was still so taboo. And I would do park cruising.

• 35:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:05Speaker 03

  He said, it was called a, it was called a, um, like a strawberry sundae or something. And I was, and, and I was like, what's that? And he was like, oh, that's where you would suck a straight guy off in the park. And then as soon as he came, he would punch you.

• 35:17Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck?

• 35:19Speaker 03

  So mad at you for being gay.

• 35:20Stavros Halkias?

  That was his favorite thing.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  And I was like, oh, but you know what? I understood it. I understood it. I was like, the danger of like, is it gonna be one punch? Is he gonna kill me?

• 35:31Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:32Speaker 03

  Of course, I don't want that actually.

• 35:34Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  But when this older gay guy says this, I go, I do know what you were tapping into.

• 35:38Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  I don't like it for me. I don't want it to be actually happening.

• 35:41Stavros Halkias?

  And it is dangerous and it's good that it's like not hap-

• 35:44Speaker 03

  It shouldn't be happening, but I do think we could, that's, that's the extreme version that I don't want.

• 35:48Stavros Halkias?

  Older roller coasters without safety precautions. They went faster.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:52Stavros Halkias?

  Now, did a couple of kids die every summer? Yes, they did. And that's bad, but.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  Did we lose some of our finest young men at Schlitterborn? Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, we did, cause he had to do the loop-de-loop. But guess what? It was a lot of fun for the guys who made it off.

• 36:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Yeah, the guys who made it off had a blast.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  If you walked out of Schlitterborn, you had memories for a lifetime. Some kids left in a body bag. That's horrible. That's horrible.

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  So was it just like school politics and school spirit or were you like also, uh, like, were you like a very opinionated, just political? Like, you know, religious stuff, like what was, were you rebelling against where you were from even as like a, that little intense?

• 36:34Speaker 03

  I was starting to. I was figuring it out. Like I, I definitely remember like, uh, I definitely was really when Obama ran. I was, I remember crying, watching him win. Like I'm so excited. Cause I knew everyone were like, most people were.

• 36:45Stavros Halkias?

  How old were you? Like 14?

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Uh, Obama ran, this would have been 2008. So I was, yeah, 13.

• 36:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  And I was watching, I remember we, we lived in a, a trailer at the time and I was sitting in the trailer. We had this small little TV and I was watching it in, on the trailer TV. My mom was either at work or already in bed. And I was just like. Oh man, everyone around here hates this and I love it.

• 37:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:04Speaker 03

  I was like so excited and.

• 37:06Stavros Halkias?

  No, that wasn't that that time was fucking.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  That was.

• 37:09Stavros Halkias?

  Thinking Obama's in the mix, yeah.

• 37:10Speaker 03

  That was huge.

• 37:11Stavros Halkias?

  What's the trailer layout like? You got your own bed?

• 37:13Speaker 03

  I did, yeah, the trailer was, it was a two room, it was, uh, like right on the highway.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Pull right on.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Pull right on, baby, right on, right off.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  One end was my mom's room.

• 37:26Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Uh, with, and she had like a, an en suite, like bathroom and stuff down there. Then there's a little kitchen on the way through.

• 37:32Stavros Halkias?

  A suite.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  By the way.

• 37:33Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  On room, I mean, what do you say?

• 37:36Stavros Halkias?

  To use, to use French, uh.

• 37:40Stavros Halkias?

  French prefixes. The trailer is like, that is the, that is the most quintessential gay and from Missouri thing I've ever heard in my life.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  And guess what?

• 37:49Stavros Halkias?

  My mother had an en suite bathroom with our trailer.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Until you've lived like I've lived. Until you've known the luxury. Of a double wide with an en suite.

• 38:02Stavros Halkias?

  The T even on the second time.

• 38:05Speaker 03

  She did have a, uh, jet tub in there. Maybe they, they made some nice double wides.

• 38:11Stavros Halkias?

  Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  Then there's a living room, then there's another bathroom, and then there's my room.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh, okay.

• 38:18Speaker 03

  I have my own little wing of the house.

• 38:20Stavros Halkias?

  That is nice.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  It was sweet. Now, the house was on wheels.

• 38:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  So that's scary.

• 38:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  But especially in tornado country.

• 38:25Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  But we had a good time over there.

• 38:27Stavros Halkias?

  Did ever get twisted up?

• 38:29Speaker 03

  No, no, I did, I did drive through a tornado once. I had to break into a church.

• 38:33Stavros Halkias?

  Nice. For shelter.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  I did, really, I had to break down the door of a church and like hide in a closet.

• 38:39Stavros Halkias?

  Really? They didn't let you in?

• 38:42Speaker 03

  It was, I was on the highway and the, there were trees falling down around my car. And I literally had to like run through the wind and the rain, break down a church door, get in the closet. I managed to get a call out. I called my mom and I was like, hey.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  This might be the last one.

• 38:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, holy shit.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was wild.

• 38:59Stavros Halkias?

  Damn dude.

• 39:00Speaker 03

  You know what, my dad came and got me afterwards. So what happened was,

• 39:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  I was visiting my dad and my aunt

• 39:04Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:05Speaker 03

  in their town, which is like a 50 minute drive from where my mom lived at the time.

• 39:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  And this is my freshman sophomore year of college, talking to a friend on the phone on the drive home, perfectly beautiful day.

• 39:13Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  Lovely. I'm like talking on the phone, driving, and immediately the sky goes black and a storm starts. And I was like, that's bad. Like, when it goes like that fast, and I was like, fuck. And so it started, uh, tornado happened and I called my mom and was like, hey, I'm in the middle of a tornado. It sounds really bad. I don't know what's happening. Then we lost signal.

• 39:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  And then it ended, I thought, but you know, the eye of the storm is quiet.

• 39:36Stavros Halkias?

  Storm.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  So I was like, I don't know if I'm in the eye or if it's over. So I stayed for a while. And she had sent my dad to come get me. She had like sent him my location. So my dad came and got me, and my dad's a lifelong atheist. Intense, like intense atheist.

• 39:48Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  Hated when I got into church. I remember vividly telling my, my dad and my grandma at a Thanksgiving, that I've started going to youth group and I think I want to get saved.

• 39:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  My grandma weeped with excitement. And when I asked my dad if he was excited, he was like, we'll talk about it when you're older.

• 40:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wow.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  And I was like, oh, okay.

• 40:02Stavros Halkias?

  He kinda, he had a hunch.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  He was not into it.

• 40:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  But I mean. I mean, he's like.

• 40:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 03

  That's awesome. He was awesome for that.

• 40:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  He was, he would literally like slyly when I was in the house, like turn up the volume on a Ricky Gervais.

• 40:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  And be like, what do you think? You know?

• 40:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  Which is not the way to win over an atheist.

• 40:20Stavros Halkias?

  I know, but I know it's so funny though, because it's like, I feel like we had similar paths where it's like, you must have been, because I was definitely, you know, freshman year of college on that militant atheist, Richard Dawkins.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 40:32Stavros Halkias?

  Ricky Gervais, Bill Maher, like shit that, it is lame, the longer, the older you get, but when you're fucking 14 to 19 and you're like,

• 40:41Speaker 03

  Maybe.

• 40:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you guys still believe in God? Smoking like, you know, pretending to enjoy cigarettes that you're smoking?

• 40:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:48Stavros Halkias?

  And being like, childish thoughts.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  When you're 21 and a bit of a douchebag, like I was.

• 40:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  Militant atheism hits like crap.

• 40:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's awesome, dude.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  It's awesome.

• 40:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Because you used to look down on everybody.

• 40:59Stavros Halkias?

  You, exactly. It's the same exact feeling that religious people get.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're just one of them.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  It's, I remember my favorite, I would share it like once a week. My favorite picture to share was like, a picture of a bunch of famous atheists, like all their headshots. And then the, the like text over it was like, if atheists go to hell, I'm not worried. I'm in good company.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  And I loved, I loved, especially if like one of my friends would post a Bible verse.

• 41:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  The next hour, I'd load that baby up and throw it on my Facebook feed and be like, I wonder what they think of this.

• 41:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  But my dad picked me up from the tornado home and drove me, um, we left my car out there and he drove me back to his house. And on the drive, we're driving and it's like quiet for a little bit. And then my dad just goes, so, um, when you thought you were gonna die, did, would you, did you like think that maybe God, did you like pray to God or think God might be real? And he was asking in a way that was like, he really wanted to know.

• 41:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  If I like discovered something.

• 41:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's fascinating.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  No, it was, I, and I, in the moment, I was like, whoa, cause I did pray, I did pray.

• 42:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, always when shit's going bad.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  You're about to die, you gotta throw out a Hail Mary.

• 42:07Stavros Halkias?

  God, I was fucking kidding. Remember that thing about forgiveness you're so about?

• 42:11Speaker 03

  They say it works.

• 42:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:13Speaker 03

  Christians are like, if you do it in the last minute. So anytime you think there's a close call, I'm just like, well, just okay, my bad, you know?

• 42:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll say to them, order a side of fries for the table. Even, it's good to have them there.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  Throw out a prayer when the plane's shaking a little too hard.

• 42:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's not, not gonna hurt, right?

• 42:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, if the, if the, if the overhead bins start opening on the plane, you just like to throw a prayer out.

• 42:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  And I told him, I was like, I did pray, but I, I don't think I believe in God. Cause at this point I was an atheist as well. And, uh, I don't even know if I am now, but at the time I was feeling that way. And my dad was like, interesting.

• 42:43Stavros Halkias?

  He was just collecting data.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Oh, he was fascinated.

• 42:46Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. He didn't even, he didn't, he wasn't, he wasn't trying to steer you. He just legitimately wanted to know if in your dark, in the fox, like the old, in a foxhole, there's no atheist thing. If that affected you.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  That's what he wanted to know.

• 42:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  He was a curious guy. And I thought it was so interesting and, and fascinating that, that he like was so intrigued.

• 43:04Stavros Halkias?

  So your dad, you said his lifelong atheist, your uncle on his side of the family was like, kind of the, you know, hippie Zen guy. Like, was your family kind of already not? You know, were they sort of rebellious for where you grew up? Like, were they, were you, was your family like the weird? Family of the zone, or were there other people like that? Did they like? You know what I'm saying?

• 43:25Speaker 03

  Definitely outliers.

• 43:26Stavros Halkias?

  Outliers, yes.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Like my grandma, on my, my grandma Lillian on my dad's side, all her kids turned out to be like, pretty like my dad, my Aunt Ashley, my Uncle Travis, they all turned out to be independent thinkers and like, pretty left and like,

• 43:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Pretty left. And uh, my mom's side is, is much more traditional, I would say.

• 43:44Stavros Halkias?

  Got you, got you, got you.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  But no, no, really no one in my immediate family, like the people I really love and, and care about, none of them are like, intense anything.

• 43:52Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  This is my theory about the country, though, by the way.

• 43:55Stavros Halkias?

  Hit me with it.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  My, my theory about the country of the United States of America is, most people are like my family, which is, maybe they vote Republican, maybe they vote Democrat, hard to tell, every election's kind of different. I would say every election, most people in my family are like, we'll see when it gets closer.

• 44:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  And by the way, none, they, we don't really talk about politics and most of them just don't care.

• 44:11Stavros Halkias?

  They don't care that much, yeah.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Life is hard, the bills come every month.

• 44:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  They need to pay the bills, they're worried about raising their kids.

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  And they just don't sit around and talk about like, what's going on in Washington DC.

• 44:21Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  And I think that's most of the country.

• 44:23Stavros Halkias?

  If you do anything to make their life a little better, they will vote for you for like, a generation.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:29Stavros Halkias?

  And no one has.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  And they're not talking about it.

• 44:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  They're not going up to their neighbor and being like, you have to vote for this guy.

• 44:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  There are those people out there, but I think by and large, those people on, on both sides, are outnumbered by the vast majority of Americans who are just like, man, I wish life was easy and I have, still have to go to work tomorrow.

• 44:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  And they're just chilling.

• 44:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just chilling, maybe fucking being, fixing up a motorcycle.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  Maybe fixing up a motorcycle, well, yeah, but no, they, my, my, my, my dad's side of the family is all pretty like, uh, left.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  Cool.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  I would say.

• 44:57Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. And, and did, did your dad have, you had, do you have a, your dad didn't have any other kids, did he? Your mom did, or?

• 45:03Speaker 03

  My mom, my mom did, my dad did not.

• 45:05Stavros Halkias?

  Did you grow up with your, was your brother around? Were you guys like hanging around all the time?

• 45:08Speaker 03

  My brother was around, but my brother from a very early age was like, my brother when he turned like 12, just became like a criminal.

• 45:18Speaker 03

  He just, he turned twelve and like immediately started doing crime. He's like fucking stealing bikes and like smoking weed and shit. And we were very at odds.

• 45:28Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Cause I was a good, I definitely watched him make life hard for my mom and then I felt like I had to be a good kid, so I resented him.

• 45:34Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  And I think I still kinda do in some ways, it's complicated.

• 45:36Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, of course.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  But, uh, yeah, I, I resented him because he made life hard. She already had a hard life.

• 45:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:42Speaker 03

  She raised two kids by herself and working multiple jobs. She's a bitch going through it, you know?

• 45:46Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, most survivor on her Reba shit.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  A single mom who works two jobs.

• 45:52Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, mom, very Reba.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  Very Reba.

• 45:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  And yeah, I just resented him. I was like, why are you making this worse?

• 45:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  Why are you such a fuck up?

• 45:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  I, I hated it. I was so pissed at him.

• 46:02Stavros Halkias?

  And especially at that age where it's like, it doesn't take much to have a rivalry with a sibling.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  Right.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  But when they're actually being a piece of shit.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's, you know?

• 46:10Speaker 03

  Also, I just, I, I have very low tolerance for fuck ups.

• 46:13Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  It's not, what do you, it's not, this is not hard.

• 46:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Maybe he just wouldn't go to school for a week. It's like, go to school.

• 46:17Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  Just fucking get up and go to school.

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:20Speaker 03

  It's, she's got her shit going on.

• 46:21Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  Uh, so I had to like take care of him, you know, I had to like wake us up for the bus.

• 46:25Stavros Halkias?

  As a little brother.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  You're the older brother, you're supposed to be doing this shit. I really, yeah, we, we, it was really tough for us.

• 46:30Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  I resented, I resented his fuck ups, for sure.

• 46:33Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think, cause you're also, what I really admire about you is that you just have a good time. You don't feel the fucking pressure to like, just do a, like, you won't overwork yourself, like, you won't, like, you were, we were talking when, on your podcast, we were talking about how I was in England working, I was working on something and you were just taking a fucking jaunt across Europe.

• 46:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:53Stavros Halkias?

  You were just there for fun for like, two months or some shit?

• 46:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:57Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like, that's fucking awesome. You were my only friend and I was just trying to see if any of my friends were in London, like, just to hang, and you just were there and do you think that's kind of like a, because you saw how hard your mom's life was and she had no choice? But to constantly be working, you think it's a little bit of like, you know, you're sort of over correcting the other way and being like, I'm the fucking, my life is gonna be the chillest life of all time, cause my mom had five jobs and uh, uh, one of her sons hotwiring dirt bikes at age fourteen.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  He's stealing three wheelers.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Totally dude, I mean, I think it's a, I think it's a reaction to that. I think it's also, I think it's a reaction to how hard my mom had to work. I think it's also, I'm, I'm true, I don't view privilege as a bad word. I have a very, it's a privileged life that I get to like be a comedian.

• 47:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  And I did work very hard for it, but I'm trying to take full advantage. I don't want to like, I don't want to turn this into like coal mining part two where I like fucking book up every second of my day and freak out and stress out and like run here and there. Like there is some element of that, but like, I want to take advantage of the privilege of like, you can fuck off for a month in this, in this life if you plan it right.

• 48:02Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  And then there's the other thing of like, I think I did spend the whole first like 22 years of my life stressing every second.

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  And now I feel like I'm like, no, not, no more.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  We did it, we set it up.

• 48:13Stavros Halkias?

  We did, yeah.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  I'm not poor in Missouri.

• 48:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm not in the trailer.

• 48:16Speaker 03

  And there's nothing wrong with being poor in Missouri, but I, I did not want to.

• 48:19Stavros Halkias?

  It's stressful though, poverty's fucking shut, when you, when you fig, I remember figuring out my family was poor and being like, what the fuck?

• 48:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:27Stavros Halkias?

  Being like pissed.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:28Stavros Halkias?

  Be like, I've been poor this whole fucking time. And literally at like my, shout out, you know, I mean, we were in Baltimore and like, we knew there were other families that, that were doing better than us, but I, I, the moment I realized and shout out to my mom because it took me until like, it was literally when I was in high school.

• 48:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:43Stavros Halkias?

  Filling out FAFSA and she was like, and I, and I would always do paperwork for my family because, you know, the language barrier, whatever. And I was always, you know, ever since I was 11, I was filling out forms with my family and stuff. And I was doing FAFSA until I got too lazy and then my mom was like, I'll just figure it out. But when it came to like, FAFSA was the way I would leave the house. So I was back in. I was like, all right, let's do this right. And I was like, hey, mom, they, um, they want to know what our, uh, total net worth is. And she was like, zero. And I was like, fucking Greek idiot doesn't know what net worth means. Uh, no, the money we have.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  Our assets, what we have.

• 49:23Stavros Halkias?

  She was like, she was like, yeah, she was like, including debt, like what we have minus our debt. And I, and I was like, yeah. She was like, well then, yeah, it's zero. Cause it's actually negative. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, I mean, I knew we weren't rich, but I was like, we've been fucking poor. And then it like, it's like a Kaiser Soze moment where you're like, Oh, every, you know, yeah, you see, you see like every place you never got clothes you wanted, everything was.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, flashbacks of your mom picking up one type of bread, putting it back, picking up a different one.

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  Oh, my god, this whole time.

• 49:57Stavros Halkias?

  You get our cereal next to the, it's like bags of cereal next to bags of dog food. You know what I mean? It's like, it's the same packaging unless you, you gotta be really careful not to fucking. What were your, what were some fun, you know, as a fellow, uh, little, little, uh, chubster in poverty? What were your favorite poverty meals?

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Dude.

• 50:17Stavros Halkias?

  Let's get into this.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Immediately comes to mind.

• 50:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  This is so white trash, and I say that in a loving way.

• 50:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I mean.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  Our special meal.

• 50:24Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Our, my favorite meal.

• 50:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 03

  That I like begged for was, uh, chopped up hot dogs.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  Uh, like stir fried in brown sugar.

• 50:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my god.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  Caramelized in brown sugar.

• 50:40Stavros Halkias?

  A reduction.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  A caramel red hot dogs in a caramel reduction sauce. Little pieces of cut up bacon.

• 50:48Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, double up.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  Put into baked beans.

• 50:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  We called it beanie weenies.

• 50:53Stavros Halkias?

  Beanie weenies.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  I loved it. I literally on my birthday would be like, can we have beanie weenies?

• 51:01Stavros Halkias?

  On your birthday?

• 51:02Speaker 03

  And my mom would be like, we can, but only today.

• 51:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  You're like, I loved beanie weenies.

• 51:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  It was awesome.

• 51:08Stavros Halkias?

  The doubling down on the sugar.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 51:10Stavros Halkias?

  Is awesome.

• 51:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, or when my mom, my mom worked at a bar for several years and they had really good chicken wings.

• 51:15Stavros Halkias?

  Mm.

• 51:16Speaker 03

  And I would like call, I would like call down to the bar. At like nine P M. And be like, can I talk to Kelly? And they'd be like, yeah, and so it's this loud, raucous bar, and I'd be like, bring home chicken wings.

• 51:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  My mom would be like, okay, honey.

• 51:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  She'd bring me home a box of chicken wings.

• 51:31Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 51:31Speaker 03

  I felt like, I literally felt like royalty.

• 51:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 51:34Speaker 03

  I was like, my mom works at the chicken wing place.

• 51:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  She brings me chicken wings.

• 51:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's, my mom was a waitress at a Greek restaurant. The calamari that came. The leftover calamari, and then when they didn't have, cause it wasn't, it wasn't, I always had to.

• 51:48Speaker 03

  Wasn't guaranteed.

• 51:49Stavros Halkias?

  When the calamari wasn't there, a day I was banking on it, tough. Being fat, a fat nine year old and being like, staying up to like mid. Night be like, oh, hey, mom, pretending I was happy to see my mom. I just wanted fucking calamari. I would have just have a tantrum and have to go up fucking stairs pissed off.

• 52:10Stavros Halkias?

  Horrible Saturdays.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  You thought you were gonna go to bed with a tummy full of calamari?

• 52:13Stavros Halkias?

  Tummy full of calamari, got nothing.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Didn't happen. Dude, my mom worked for a while at a bowling alley. She was like a bartender at a bowling alley.

• 52:21Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's so good.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  That's some good shit.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  And so to this day, when someone, I can't get this.

• 52:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's okay, man.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  I'm getting it back on. Watch this.

• 52:30Stavros Halkias?

  I believe in you.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  So to this day, when I smell someone that smells like stale beer and cigarettes, because she would come home from that job.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  Either at that point, we were old enough to put ourselves to bed, or we had a babysitter.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  My mom would come home from that job and like come give me like a hug and a kiss, you know, like while I was in bed. And she smelled so much like cigarettes and stale beer and also, uh, deep fryer food.

• 52:52Stavros Halkias?

  Cheese.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Just like deep fryer grease and like beer and and cigarettes. And I, when I smell that smell to this day, I I literally feel, I go.

• 53:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  It feels so comfy.

• 53:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man, that's what your husband's gonna smell like.

• 53:05Speaker 03

  He's gonna need to.

• 53:07Speaker 03

  He's gonna need to smell like that.

• 53:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's so, yeah, you've got a Pavlovian response to that.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  I hooked up with a guy last night who told me his ex boyfriend is a huge fan of mine. Said it in a way that made me think, is that what we're doing here?

• 53:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  And you know what? I was like, don't care.

• 53:22Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, if you don't, if you don't think I've gotten a couple revenge, a couple revenge, uh, blowies. Because some guy, some fucking dumb podcast fan mistreated a woman and she was like, hmm. I bet if I send this guy a picture of my tits, he'd let me suck him off. And you know what? Ninety percent of the time, they are correct.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  They are right.

• 53:45Stavros Halkias?

  And that's welcome, because I feel like that is more of a, a straight, uh, comedians, the, we get, that, that's more of what I, the spoils that I get. I like that it's coming to you.

• 53:55Speaker 03

  Something's shifted, because, uh, you know, when I first started, when comedy first started going well for me. I would talk to the few older gay comedians that there are. That have had anything go for them. And and they would, they would say things to me like, man, it's not the same for us on the road. Just don't expect it. And I'm like, something has shifted.

• 54:10Stavros Halkias?

  The culture's, yeah, I think more gay, I think more gay people do are into like more mainstream stand up, not in the way that like, I feel like you that. Like you said, it used to be like, you got to, you get, you got to have three like queer famous comedians. And now it's like, and that's, everything was kind of a little more segmented, I think. And now I just feel like way more, it's way more in the culture and I think you get to be, you know. So it's, it's just out there more and I'm happy for you.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Who's your favorite gay stand-up?

• 54:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Can't say me. Nice tries, Dobby. Can't say me.

• 54:43Stavros Halkias?

  I was definitely gonna say you. Um, that's a fucking great question. Hmm. Who would be my favorite gay stand-up?

• 54:53Speaker 03

  You can't think of one. This is sick.

• 54:55Stavros Halkias?

  It is pretty.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  You can't think of a single gay person who does stand-up comedy?

• 54:59Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, Elvis Rex.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  Boo him, King.

• 55:01Stavros Halkias?

  I loved, I mean, I loved Margaret Cho's show when I was a kid and I loved her, uh, the episode of, um, Dr. Katz that she was on.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:10Stavros Halkias?

  Um, I did, I didn't, you know, I guess I liked more like gay comedians in general. But I can't really think of like, a stand-up that really, that was like one of my top, top stand-ups. And then obviously there's like contemporaries, but I don't, I feel like this is more of a question of like, who did you look up to?

• 55:29Speaker 03

  That's what you read from it.

• 55:31Stavros Halkias?

  It is, actually, yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  I'm just interviewing. I'm just asking my questions.

• 55:35Stavros Halkias?

  Well, it's my show.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Well, it's my show, I don't have to answer your dumb little question.

• 55:40Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, that's interesting. Who's your favorite, I got him, Elvis. Who's your favorite straight comedian?

• 55:44Speaker 03

  Can't say you?

• 55:45Stavros Halkias?

  Can't say me.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  Okay. Um, my favorite straight comedian.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  You know what? A lot of them.

• 55:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  A lot of them I like.

• 55:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go with a sleeper pick.

• 55:57Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  I'm going Kathleen Madigan.

• 55:59Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  Kathleen Madigan is a killer.

• 56:01Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good one.

• 56:02Speaker 03

  I love her. I loved, I watched one of her like maybe Comedy Central half-hours or something when I was a kid and I found out she was from Missouri.

• 56:08Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:08Speaker 03

  And that was really cool. I was like, she's from Missouri, that's fucking awesome.

• 56:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:11Speaker 03

  And I, I.

• 56:12Stavros Halkias?

  She's great.

• 56:12Speaker 03

  She's great. And she won't follow me back.

• 56:17Speaker 03

  Shoot Kathleen, no worries. Honey, I love you.

• 56:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  I've messaged her to be on my podcast.

• 56:23Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  Which I don't do.

• 56:24Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  And she will not read it.

• 56:26Stavros Halkias?

  She's gr- oh wow.

• 56:27Speaker 03

  And she will not respond.

• 56:28Stavros Halkias?

  Not even seen.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  And I guess what I have for her? The utmost respect. Don't, don't slum it with a young gay comedian. You stay where you are, hold, hey.

• 56:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 03

  You drop this, queen.

• 56:38Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  Her crown.

• 56:38Stavros Halkias?

  Her crown.

• 56:39Speaker 03

  I love her. I, I hope she never messages me back.

• 56:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  I hope she never follows.

• 56:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  I'm really proud of her.

• 56:44Stavros Halkias?

  You want that. You want that relationship.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  I think it's nice. Me, I saw her in, in an airport once after I had messaged her and thinking, she's probably seen this, or someone on her team has seen this and not responded. And I did not approach her in the airport. I said, "You enjoy that beer."

• 56:57Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, not even a, not even a like big fan.

• 57:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 57:00Stavros Halkias?

  And kept it moving.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  No, because she, I'm, she might not want that. And by the way, she was on the same flight as me that day.

• 57:05Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  And, and then we, we walked right past each other and I didn't say a word. Shout out Kathleen.

• 57:09Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of restraint.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  I, hey, one thing about me-

• 57:12Stavros Halkias?

  I bet you could have charmed her in person.

• 57:13Speaker 03

  I think I could have.

• 57:14Stavros Halkias?

  I really do think so.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  But I chose not, you know, that's the power that you have to choose when to turn it on and turn it off.

• 57:20Speaker 03

  And I, I choose to wield it for-

• 57:21Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  For good.

• 57:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:23Speaker 03

  And not for personal gain. When do you think you're gonna settle down?

• 57:26Stavros Halkias?

  Um.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  All this talk about-

• 57:28Stavros Halkias?

  Any day now.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Women in the DMs, you think?

• 57:30Stavros Halkias?

  I'd like to.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  I see you as a family man.

• 57:32Stavros Halkias?

  I do wanna, I, I think I, it's so funny, like for the first time in my life, I was like, "Yeah, it would be nice to just be in a good rela-" like I realized the value of it instead of being like, scared of fucking up a relationship. I was like, "I've been working so much, it would be nice if you-" like I en- I envisioned coming home to like a loving environment instead of like-

• 57:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:54Stavros Halkias?

  Just an apartment and like, you know, watching a movie. And I was like, "Whoa." And it was the first pure time that I was like, "I'm not worried about a relationship. I'm like, this would be good."

• 58:05Speaker 03

  Straight guys are so funny.

• 58:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  It's so funny that you're 35 and for the first time in your life, you're like, "The love of a woman could be special."

• 58:13Stavros Halkias?

  Because I never, because I never thought, because okay, yeah, this really, it is hilarious and it is pathetic.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  I did not say pathetic.

• 58:20Stavros Halkias?

  It is, no it is. But I do think it's because I recently had the realization that marriages could be good. You know what I mean? Like-

• 58:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:28Stavros Halkias?

  When you grow up, like I envy people who came from fucked up circumstances and still believe in love.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like I, I love that you're a, uh, you, you seek love.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:37Stavros Halkias?

  And you know, in, in the fucking double Y with your pops, with your pops. Mile away, just not being

• 58:43Speaker 03

  Not hanging out.

• 58:44Stavros Halkias?

  Not hanging out, like in the same zip code, you know what I mean?

• 58:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:48Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  Not too much, but yeah.

• 58:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and like, to me, my, my family was such a, like, my parents' relationship was so fucked up.

• 58:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:56Stavros Halkias?

  And everybody that I knew, even though they were married, they were miserable and that, or, and in fact, the only, like, people that I, that were happy were kind of like the divorced ones.

• 59:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:06Stavros Halkias?

  And so it really took a while, like, just in my head, when I thought of relationships and marriage, it just always was something bad and just like something people just ob, were obligated to do.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  Don't you feel then that you could only do better than that?

• 59:21Stavros Halkias?

  I, it never, that never occurred to me until recently.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:24Stavros Halkias?

  Until I was like, wait, I'm doing better in so many other ways. Why can't I master that too? And I also have my own things of like, in all my like, relationships, like, I just have that knee jerk reaction to like, get out and feel, I feel smothered and I feel like I'm gonna disappoint this person, so let me get out of it ahead of time. And so, but recently I was like, yeah, what if, let's just say I figured that out. Wouldn't it be nice?

• 59:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:50Stavros Halkias?

  If a woman loved me and my, and like, was she, I'd come back and we'd get dinner and like, see a movie and instead of like, this, doing this by myself, it was with the person I planned to share the rest of my life with. And so it's, it's, it's switched for me, but at the same time.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:00:06Stavros Halkias?

  I am still an immature.

• 1:00:08Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:00:08Stavros Halkias?

  And my, you know, but, so I'm hoping, I'm hopeful, I've switched from probably not gonna happen to, let's see what happens.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Wouldn't it be nice?

• 1:00:16Stavros Halkias?

  Wouldn't it be nice?

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  If we could wake up.

• 1:00:18Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:00:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I, I, you know, I think it was unfair though, that I said straight guys are so funny because it, it is guys in general.

• 1:00:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Gay guys do also struggle with the commitment thing. I mean, gay guys, it feels, I don't know if it feels more advanced, it certainly feels a little different that gay guys will just get into a beautiful long-term relationship and then still fuck everyone else.

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Together and separately. Well, I don't know if that's progress or, or not.

• 1:00:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. I also love, I, I don't wanna butcher the point, uh, cuz I was talking, I was just on Stradio Lab and I was talking to George.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  I love those guys.

• 1:00:48Stavros Halkias?

  They're the best. I mean, but but yeah, George talking about how like cheating just is not even a concept for gay guys.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:53Stavros Halkias?

  Like it's just like, like gay guys will just be in a marriage so long and they'll just basically just be kind of ru- a- after like twenty years, they just instead of just being like, this isn't working. They're just kind of like roommates who then just go on and just date other people and it just becomes this weird. It's just such a fascinating way to go about things. Um, but I respect it, but it also also doesn't feel like uh, the answer to what we're talking about here of like a nice loving.

• 1:01:22Speaker 03

  It also doesn't feel like what we sold the American people.

• 1:01:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. We were just like everybody else.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  We just want, well, you know, we want to be in our house and have our children and raise our.

• 1:01:37Stavros Halkias?

  I want to put a sweater on with my husband.

• 1:01:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it would, we were, we weren't telling folks about circuit parties. We did a little pulling of the wool and God bless, but it's not the story we told.

• 1:01:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's true. That is true. Um, but yeah, I, it's interesting. I also feel the same thing for you too, because I do feel like you are you're trying to settle down a little bit here, isn't it? Don't you feel like you're?

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  I am trying.

• 1:02:01Stavros Halkias?

  You're trying.

• 1:02:01Speaker 03

  But I'm not, I, I'm.

• 1:02:03Stavros Halkias?

  You're up against the wall that you're trying also to settle down with a man.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  I'm trying to settle down with a man. We're both men. Then that's, you know, not good.

• 1:02:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  Now it's, I, I, I, I don't know, man. I'm like, I do want it. I want a family. I want kids. I want to settle down with someone. I do have long now thought that it would be lovely to come home to someone who loves me and like go to home together. I think that'd be beautiful and lovely.

• 1:02:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  I love that. I love the couples in my life that I think there's so many beautiful couples in my life who work so well together. I think my friends Kevin and Katie, like they have a beautiful love.

• 1:02:33Stavros Halkias?

  I'm rooting to get, I don't think they're gonna make it.

• 1:02:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't think so?

• 1:02:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, just from what I've seen.

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:02:39Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know them at all. No, I'm just a joke.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  I just think about my friends, my friends Tom and Nancy, I just think about these people who have.

• 1:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, not them either.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  They're not gonna happen for them. They have beautiful relationships, they do their own thing, they still have their own friends, but they come together, it's lovely. And I do want that, but I do, I just, I have not found the person.

• 1:02:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  And I, but I'm starting to wonder, am I, am I the problem? Cause I do.

• 1:03:01Stavros Halkias?

  Probably.

• 1:03:01Speaker 03

  It gets to a certain.

• 1:03:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, almost certainly.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  It gets to a certain point and I, I lose interest, I think they can't be the one. I'm like, maybe I do just need to find like a roommate version.

• 1:03:10Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, no, don't do that.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  Maybe I need to walk in on gay guy terms, I am a romantic.

• 1:03:13Stavros Halkias?

  You're romantic in your little heart.

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  I am a romantic, but you know what, I need to cool it on the romance, cause here's what I, here's something I've noticed recently.

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  I am a romantic, I like to, I'll, I'll call people, when I'm dating someone, I call them on the phone.

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  Talk, chit chat.

• 1:03:26Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  I'll send flowers sometimes.

• 1:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's cute.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  I like to, so I just.

• 1:03:29Stavros Halkias?

  What's wrong with that?

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  Well, I do it, and then it gives the impression that I'm trying to get into something serious, and I am trying that. But I think I sometimes do it too quick, and then people, and then people go, I like, enjoy it.

• 1:03:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's pure, but that's, yeah, you're saying, well, I do these things, I'm sending these clear messages and people are reacting to them?

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying, I'm like, I need to slow it down a little bit until I'm sure.

• 1:03:54Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, okay, okay.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Cause I'm sending the like, let's lock it down vibe.

• 1:03:57Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  They're picking it up and enjoying it, and then I'm being like, whoa.

• 1:04:01Stavros Halkias?

  I do this, to be fair, I'm shitting on you, but I do the straight male version of that, which is just being nice to a woman.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:08Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like, it doesn't really take much romance for a woman to think you're a good person, compared to how everybody else.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:04:13Stavros Halkias?

  Treats them, so it's like, if I'm dating somebody, I'm just like, kinda communicative and like, ask questions and like, remember things they said, they're like, whoa, he's in love with me.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:22Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:04:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:23Stavros Halkias?

  But, uh, but I do wanna actually fucking, yeah, maybe you need to just wait a little bit, but you're there.

• 1:04:29Speaker 03

  I think I need to wait a little bit.

• 1:04:30Stavros Halkias?

  I think you can do it. I love, you know, romance is beautiful, and you know where you can see a lot of romances, in the romantic comedy Sweethearts, folks.

• 1:04:36Speaker 03

  Good God.

• 1:04:36Stavros Halkias?

  Out on, out on, out on Max. In just a couple days, and so please check that out, and in the meantime, I think we need to take some of your, your folksy, down home wisdom, and bring it to our callers here, Caleb.

• 1:04:50Speaker 03

  That was like watching Babe Ruth point and then hit a homerun. That was so beautiful.

• 1:04:54Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks, man.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  I'm in awe of you as a podcaster.

• 1:04:56Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks, man, I'm a bravo, what can I say, I'm a pro.

• 1:04:57Speaker 03

  Let's do it.

• 1:04:59Stavros Halkias?

  We, we just talked so long because it's so fun to, to just chat with you, but we got, we gotta help, help some people here.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 1:05:06Stavros Halkias?

  This feels great, by the way, the turkey. Yeah, I feel kind of cozy and awesome. I'm like too comfortable. Like, I find myself just enjoying the conversation and forgetting we have to be entertaining for people. I'm like, that's awesome, dude. And I really hope you find love, my good friend. And then I'm like, oh, right.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  Fuck, I'm a turkey.

• 1:05:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm a turkey. I'm like dozing off in this swarm little fucking onesie.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  Dude, I see you're a romantic and love is coming for you. And you're gonna have everything you want in this life, and I think you just keep after it. Fuck, I'm a turkey. All right, our callers wanna know.

• 1:05:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, let's see what disgusting questions you have for us, Elders.

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  Hey, Savi. So basically, I'm thirty-one. I have a five-year-old daughter. I am a widow. I tried to date about a year and a half ago, and I was like dating around. The guy that I was fucking, one of my close friends, started fucking behind my back, and I found out about it. We didn't talk for a while. We reconciled, and then she got into this long-term engagement or long-term relationship. I ended up helping him with the proposal, the ideas for the ring.

• 1:06:18Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  I got close with his family.

• 1:06:20Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:06:22Speaker 04

  You know, and all this kind of stuff. And then at his parents' vow renewal, she asked me if I would be director of their wedding.

• 1:06:32Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my god. What the fuck?

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Why would I have to parents' vow renewal?

• 1:06:38Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck is going on here? This is fucking insane. Keep going all this. I mean, what? I mean, Jesus.

• 1:06:44Speaker 04

  Their wedding, and I've been having such a hard time because she's getting the life that I thought I was gonna have. And I'm trying to be forgiving, and I'm trying to be all of these things, but how do you move past somebody being a hoe and fucking the guy that she blatantly knows that you're fucking?

• 1:07:05Stavros Halkias?

  You don't, maybe. Maybe.

• 1:07:07Speaker 04

  I, you know, I was, it took me a long time to get into the fucking scene, into the dating scene. I lost sixty pounds. I went to therapy. I did all this. All this work and it feels like for not. So if you can help me.

• 1:07:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  Kinda. Figure that out. That would be so great. Thank you. Love you. You're the fucking best.

• 1:07:30Speaker 03

  Can I just say before we get into it, the opening of, so basically I'm thirty one.

• 1:07:35Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  I have a five year old. I am a widow.

• 1:07:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:39Speaker 03

  I'm a hook.

• 1:07:40Stavros Halkias?

  Beautifully.

• 1:07:41Speaker 03

  That is a beautiful intro.

• 1:07:43Stavros Halkias?

  Right. And take note, other callers.

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:45Stavros Halkias?

  This woman got to the meter. She could have rambled. Other people ramble about how like it takes them too long to find the video to jack off to. They'll, they'll do three minutes. She's given us her whole backstory in three beautiful Hemingway like sentences.

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  She's not gonna get wrapped up in how the ex died.

• 1:08:02Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:08:02Speaker 03

  It was a combine accident. It doesn't matter.

• 1:08:04Stavros Halkias?

  Doesn't matter when we, and our, and our imagination is working.

• 1:08:06Speaker 03

  I am a widow.

• 1:08:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's Darth Vader before the prequels, a little mystery.

• 1:08:09Speaker 03

  So basically I'm thirty one.

• 1:08:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  I have a five year old child and I am a widow.

• 1:08:14Stavros Halkias?

  This is beautiful.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  That's beautiful.

• 1:08:16Stavros Halkias?

  Beautifully written and we're sorry, by the way, that you're in that circumstance. We wish he was alive, but.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  Best of luck to you and your child.

• 1:08:23Stavros Halkias?

  But, but you, you are a very compelling caller.

• 1:08:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:26Stavros Halkias?

  Um.

• 1:08:26Speaker 03

  You're a hell of a storyteller.

• 1:08:27Stavros Halkias?

  So. You, you're, it's great. You're working on yourself. Keep at it. I would say one of the clearest indications of you've worked on a lot of stuff in therapy. I don't know that you worked on setting boundaries because this is fucking crazy.

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:44Stavros Halkias?

  This, you don't get over, like, how do you get over somebody being a hoe? Okay. Getting over it is one thing. Helping her get fucking engaged with the guy she, I mean, you're just too selfless of a person. You're just too, maybe your self esteem is a little low. Maybe you're down because of, you know, shit's been rough for you, but. You got insanely mistreated by both of these people. How on earth do you end up? Close to his fucking fam.

• 1:09:11Speaker 03

  The vow renewal is crazy.

• 1:09:12Stavros Halkias?

  Parents vow renewal? The guy who cheated on you with your friend? Why?

• 1:09:17Speaker 03

  Also, if you, if anyone out there listening, I know there's, there's probably tens, if not twenties of people who listen to the show.

• 1:09:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:24Speaker 03

  And if anyone out there is wondering, should I be the director of someone's wedding? And you're calling them in the next sentence, a fucking hoe. Hey, guess what? You're not meant to be part of the wedding. Bow out. You should bow out.

• 1:09:37Stavros Halkias?

  You probably shouldn't go.

• 1:09:38Speaker 03

  You and that girl need to kill the guy.

• 1:09:41Stavros Halkias?

  You're so right.

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  I mean, my god.

• 1:09:43Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is fucking crazy.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  How do you, how do you end up at the vow renewal? How do you even end up?

• 1:09:49Stavros Halkias?

  Why? Yeah, the, the, the glossing over.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:52Stavros Halkias?

  Which we lauded in the top, in the first three sentences.

• 1:09:55Speaker 03

  Beautiful specificity.

• 1:09:57Stavros Halkias?

  That was, but we need a little more details here.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:00Stavros Halkias?

  This is not something we can gloss over. How the fuck?

• 1:10:03Speaker 03

  She, she, she wrote the back end of the story the way that newspapers write about police involved shooting?

• 1:10:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:09Speaker 03

  She was like, so one way or another, a guy ends up dead.

• 1:10:13Stavros Halkias?

  I, yes, exactly.

• 1:10:14Speaker 03

  It's like.

• 1:10:15Stavros Halkias?

  I ended up, yeah, I mean, what the fuck? Why aren't you mad? Why aren't you mad at this person? Why did you let it slide? Why are you mad at both of them? And then, why on earth would you help them? Is it not, like? You would be well within your rights never to speak to this woman again, let alone plan her fucking engagement. And I think you really need to look inward about why you're doing this stuff. And just like, you can't let people in your life that are gonna fucking treat you like this. And you clearly have some kinda psychological, you're drawn to this, to being treated this way, unfortunately, it feels like? Cause otherwise, why, why would the fuck would you do this?

• 1:10:55Speaker 03

  Also, to the woman who slept with the guy is now getting married to him and asked you to be the director, asked her to be the director of the wedding or whatever? Which, whatever, I don't know if that's a title. What, you need to make some other friends.

• 1:11:06Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, she's a su-

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  What do you think?

• 1:11:07Stavros Halkias?

  First of all, she's a supervillain.

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  She's a supervillain.

• 1:11:09Stavros Halkias?

  She's a piece of shit.

• 1:11:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:11Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I, I have a, my, my knee jerk reaction is this, the other woman is a horrible person who's getting, weirdly getting off on this.

• 1:11:21Speaker 03

  Somehow.

• 1:11:22Stavros Halkias?

  Or even just like, if she's not, then she has the lowest emotional intelligence of anyone that's ever existed.

• 1:11:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:29Stavros Halkias?

  And is so self-centered and has no empathy for anybody. I mean, this is fucking crazy.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I-

• 1:11:35Stavros Halkias?

  This is fucking nuts.

• 1:11:36Speaker 03

  Honey, you gotta get out.

• 1:11:37Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta get out. Don't plan shit for these cocksuckers. Have your own life. You're, you're, you're making progress. You got back in the scene and look. We say it on the show all the time, the road to wins is littered with losses. You came out with a huge loss up top. This is not an easy one to get over. But you gotta just take, eat this L and move forward. This is not the fucking guy. And by the way, this is not the kind of person, this is your friend? Close friend? This was never your friend. This is a piece of shit. Imagine somebody, a good friend of yours gets over a fucking death to their significant other. Is a single, is a, is a single parent.

• 1:12:18Stavros Halkias?

  It takes them, they go, they work on themselves, they work out, they go to therapy, they finally get in the headspace to start dating. And start dating a guy and then you fuck them? Imagine what a piece of shit you'd have to be to do that to somebody.

• 1:12:32Speaker 03

  Another piece of advice to the caller, I'm just looking at the call came in at 1:53 a.m. Get some sleep.

• 1:12:38Speaker 03

  Call came in at 1:53 a.m. on a Monday.

• 1:12:41Stavros Halkias?

  You're right. You're right about that.

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  I wanna see you get some rest. You're not gonna be able to fight these demons that are clearly sent from hell to disrupt your life.

• 1:12:48Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  Want no sleep.

• 1:12:50Stavros Halkias?

  Biesel bub has his fucking tail around your ankle right now and you need to shake it off.

• 1:12:55Speaker 03

  Okay, I'm learning now that they might be calling from, I don't know what that means for us on time codes.

• 1:13:00Stavros Halkias?

  Still pretty late.

• 1:13:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, still pretty late.

• 1:13:02Stavros Halkias?

  Still pretty late, I would say. I think it's west coast time.

• 1:13:04Speaker 03

  Also, a very unexpected place for that to be happening.

• 1:13:07Speaker 05

  Probably two. Just to dox this woman.

• 1:13:11Speaker 03

  I guess it is a small community over there.

• 1:13:15Stavros Halkias?

  Like 3,000 people.

• 1:13:17Speaker 03

  The one widow in that area is gonna get lit up with DMs.

• 1:13:21Stavros Halkias?

  But I will also say, that's also, you're even more of a ca- you're even more of a catch, I would say.

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, and the place you're calling from.

• 1:13:28Stavros Halkias?

  Or I'm sorry, yeah, the place you're calling from.

• 1:13:32Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, actually. Now I appreciate you doing some hosting. And I'm actually circling back and saying, it's actually, um, it's actually a, a black mark on the entertainment industry that I couldn't think of a gay comedian. And not on me.

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:13:47Stavros Halkias?

  Just to kinda, full circle, it's really disgusting how we treated queer voices that me, a guy that should know, couldn't come up with one and still you'll notice, hasn't. Let's move forward.

• 1:13:58Speaker 03

  You pulled a lesbian from like the 90s.

• 1:14:00Stavros Halkias?

  I liked her.

• 1:14:01Speaker 03

  You're like, I think she's more of a gay.

• 1:14:04Speaker 05

  She is gay. Alan DeGeneres.

• 1:14:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I should've. I should've been like, yeah. Oh shit.

• 1:14:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no. Caleb, you know what that is? You know what time it is? It's time to... Yup. Keep it twisted. That's right, wow. Time to keep it twisted, time for the keep it twisted, twisted ass, mother effing question of the week. Thanksgiving edition. Yup, we still haven't named it. Um, just sit there quietly, Caleb, I'm gonna, you know, chime in only if you really feel necessary. Eldis, what do we have for the twisted ass, mother effing Thanksgiving question of the week?

• 1:14:49Speaker 05

  We have some pretty effing twisted and, uh, you know. Maybe if we keep it twisted enough, some lucky guy out there is in for a nice holiday treat this year.

• 1:14:58Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, alright, let's see what we got.

• 1:15:01Speaker 06

  Hi, Savvy, um, I love the podcast. I am calling in for some advice, uh, from a man's perspective.

• 1:15:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm here for.

• 1:15:12Speaker 06

  I am in a long-term relationship, kinda, we're both kinda having fun with it, and I am looking for a man's perspective.

• 1:15:21Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like you're keeping it pretty twisted. Keep it twisted. Sounds like that long-term relationship kind of sounds pretty twisted. But hey, that's not the question, so... But I do like it, man, might I suggest a nice way to spice things up is to maybe get together and have a couple refreshing delicious twisted teas. You know, I don't know if you know this, but they're brewed, did you know this, they're brewed with real iced tea, Eldis?

• 1:15:47Speaker 05

  Whoa, I, I knew that, but I was shocked the first time I learned it.

• 1:15:52Stavros Halkias?

  5% alcohol by volume, what a refreshing delicious beverage. Anyway, continue, Eldis.

• 1:16:00Speaker 06

  Kinda having fun with it, and I am looking for a man's perspective on like, pictures.

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 1:16:06Speaker 06

  Um, I love sending them, he loves getting them, but I'm worried that it's been just sending the same old poses, so I'm wondering, from a man's perspective, do you guys like the boudoir photos, or is that more for a woman's eye? Uh, what do you guys like? What's, what's gonna keep them dressing and kind of having fun with it? Um, yeah, let me know, thanks.

• 1:16:28Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, well, first of all, couldn't be more for women. I mean, let's just, let's keep it a, but we're not even keeping it twisted, we're keeping it a buck right now. You don't gotta pay, pay some lady, buy fancy lingerie. Now, I'm not saying that's bad. I'd like to receive one, but it's not, you know, you're talking about day in, day out, keeping it twisted in a sexual manner. Um, you know, for sexting, for keeping the thing spicy. And I think, you know, you're never gonna be able to keep up with that demand with boudoir photos. You're gonna hire a lady every time this guy wants to beat off? Um, I think, speaking for myself personally,

• 1:17:13Stavros Halkias?

  I think you're, the idea to kind of mix things up is a good one. You know, may, you know, a little lingerie, a little changing, you know, changing different poses, changing even like out of a shirt, whatever. For me personally, and maybe this is different for you, Aldous, I like to feel like it's spontaneous. Like, to me, it's not about thinking of like, switching it up in terms of like, uh, different outfits and stuff like that. Although, I like a wig. You know, if you wanna get a wig in the mix, a costume, something like that. But all that can be done at home. You don't have to shell out a cash. Again, if you want to for yourself, I wouldn't turn those down. I'd still look at them.

• 1:17:54Stavros Halkias?

  But I think the fact that you love sending them, the consistency, that's keeping it twisted in my mind. You gotta, you gotta, keep it twisted, exactly. And I like feeling like, it's almost, uh, it's almost,

• 1:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  if we were together, we would be smashing right now. But since we're not, just show me those titties. You know what I'm saying? Like, let me look at those titties the way I would look at them, just pull them out of your shirt. You know what I mean? Send them, send them soft sometimes. You don't gotta get the nips hard. You don't gotta twist the nip and get it hard. Sometimes send me a soft nip. Switch up the poses maybe, whatever, but, you know, I think the willingness and the enthusiasm is much more important. Maybe throw in, uh, you know, a live photo where your titties are bouncing. Maybe a short video wouldn't hurt. Not long, couple seconds I'm talking about. You know what I mean? You wanna do a longer video? That's better, but. But war, that's not really keeping it twisted enough.

• 1:18:58Speaker 05

  You know, I'm gonna go the other direction on this one.

• 1:19:00Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:19:01Speaker 05

  I wanna go ahead and encourage our caller to follow her instincts here. I think like, um, I don't know, if you're in, if you're in like a longer relationship, I do like the idea of the novelty in it. It's almost like, oh, wow, like, wow, I didn't know, uh, you know, she had this production value in her. It's a fun little novelty. It's like, it could be sexy and it's on right, even if it's not just straight up like, you know, titties out, there's something, there's something to it that's like, okay, I like, I like where we're going here. It heard going through all those stops will probably like, you know, help her, uh, maybe get more into it or something. And I think that's a, a fun little thing for the guy that he'll appreciate and that'll like, uh, you know,

• 1:19:47Speaker 05

  get him, get him turned on and get him to keep it twisted. I also think of like, you know, it's crazy when you.

• 1:19:53Stavros Halkias?

  Twist his prick up.

• 1:19:56Speaker 05

  Keep it twisted. You, you think of like, uh, family photos are doing like that classic Sears style family photos and like in front of those backgrounds.

• 1:20:06Stavros Halkias?

  JCPenney, yeah.

• 1:20:07Speaker 05

  Or JCPenney, whatever, like, those are very annoying at the moment. You're like, why would I do something like so stodgy and old fashioned? But you know, one day you and your man are gonna be ma and pa real old, keeping it twisted together.

• 1:20:21Stavros Halkias?

  Keeping it twisted on the rocking chairs.

• 1:20:23Speaker 05

  Drinking some twisted tea out of like a champagne glass. For a big anniversary.

• 1:20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Splitting the game day pack. Maybe it's your anniversary, your whole family's there. Everybody's enjoying their favorite flavor, be it raspberry, half and half, what have you.

• 1:20:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, but once the family leaves, you know.

• 1:20:40Stavros Halkias?

  Peach for that matter.

• 1:20:40Speaker 05

  Once the family's gone, it's just you two and you're getting romantic. You, you could pull those photos up and be like, hey, that was pretty cool. You look pretty awesome in this.

• 1:20:48Stavros Halkias?

  I will give you that. These have staying power. I'm not against them.

• 1:20:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:52Stavros Halkias?

  I just think we're talking about two separate things.

• 1:20:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:54Stavros Halkias?

  These, this is not a, this is not in the same vein as sexting. It's a good thing to have and it would knock my socks off and I would probably beat off. To them if the love of my life took some sexy pics. But I'm just saying do both. Keep it going, keep it twisted, keep pulling your titties out on selfie mode. But also get the boudoir photo. We're all about the more titties we can get in a man's life, the better. High production value, low production value. That's the keeping, that's, that's what I call keeping it twisted. And so go for it, sister. Throw those titties out. Let your man see them all gussied up. And remember, folks, if you want a delicious beverage. And you're out and about and you're gonna pull your titties out.

• 1:21:40Stavros Halkias?

  There's only, there's only one thing to do.

• 1:21:42Speaker 03

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:21:44Stavros Halkias?

  Amen. Oh shit. Caleb, why don't you say anything that whole time, man? You're being rude.

• 1:21:52Speaker 05

  All right, whatever you want, Caleb.

• 1:22:04Stavros Halkias?

  What else we got in here? What's going on?

• 1:22:09Speaker 06

  Hey, Sev and Eldis and esteemed guest, long time listener. I love everything you guys do. Thank you so much. So I have a unique situation. My ex and I were together for 23 years. So we had a very like established relationship, big family, did everything together.

• 1:22:35Speaker 06

  And a year ago, we, we separated and we're co-parenting now. Our lives are still intertwined, but the holidays are when it's really felt the most.

• 1:22:49Speaker 06

  A lot of people don't understand why we still do stuff like that together.

• 1:22:55Stavros Halkias?

  Kids.

• 1:22:55Speaker 06

  I don't know, is it, is it stupid to think that we can still have holidays and family time and stuff and memories?

• 1:23:05Speaker 06

  And people not, like, people just don't understand that we're still doing things together and having memories and they, we get a lot of pressure from the family, um, you know, what's going on, lots of questions. I guess what I'm saying is, how do we tell people just to kind of back off and leave us alone about this? Or are we crazy to think that this is unhealthy? I'm probably running out of time. Um, anything that you can do to help in this scenario. Um, are we silly to think that family life can still happen? Um, and, or should we just like stop this and, and not be doing things together or

• 1:23:46Speaker 06

  not care about people and what they say? I don't really know what I'm asking at this point. Um, thanks so much for your, I hope to hear from you.

• 1:23:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. I should say, the, the first call we took was like, hello.

• 1:23:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right to the point.

• 1:24:00Speaker 03

  Two people I trust.

• 1:24:01Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of it.

• 1:24:02Speaker 03

  I need an answer by tomorrow. I'm in the wine cellar at his parents' house. They're asking me to direct the wedding. There's a gun to my head. This person was like, I don't super think I'm understood sometimes. Any thoughts on me being understood or if I should change?

• 1:24:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. There is a much, two, two women, yeah, de- dealing with, uh, being, being newly, being single later in life, much differently, we'll say, uh, with much less, um, uh, sense of urgency on, on this part. This woman is sounding a little more, more of a little white wine at the end of the night type of vibe going on here. Um, you know, look, people, when people, you know, divorce is very, it, it's weird how you handle that, especially when you're, you know, you've been together for that long.

• 1:24:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  Your lives aren't, you're right, they're intertwined.

• 1:24:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's very rare.

• 1:24:56Speaker 03

  It's one life.

• 1:24:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's one life.

• 1:24:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, you built it.

• 1:24:59Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally. And maybe in the future, it'll start to branch off a little bit and who knows, maybe you end up with somebody, they end up with somebody. You stop doing this, or maybe everybody comes together, but. Would I worry what other people think? Probably not. But what I also worry a little bit about, are you kind of like folding into the inertia? Do you really want to still have one holiday? You know what I mean? Like, I've seen people get divorced and even after long periods of time and it's like, yeah, they have. It's fine. Everyone kind of gets it. But then I've seen people that can't even be in the same fucking room together. I guess I would think like, are you happy with this? Are you really truly happy with this? Search your feelings. Do you actually want to spend Thanksgiving with your, you know, ex-husband?

• 1:25:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:25:45Stavros Halkias?

  Are you mad at him? Is he getting away with it? Did he break up your family by fucking his secretary and you're stiff upper lipping it and being like, "Haha, it's all good. Bring her over."

• 1:25:53Speaker 03

  For the kids.

• 1:25:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's for the kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do that.

• 1:25:56Speaker 03

  Or did it end, you know, i- is it, I think there's a possibility sometimes, I don't know your whole situation.

• 1:26:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:03Speaker 03

  But sometimes there's a possibility that you're doing this because you want to hold on to the comfort of the relationship. And you're like, "Oh, it's for the kids, but it's nice to all be together." You need to make sure that it's not holding you back from going out. You do, you have built one life together, in my opinion, and now you're trying to extract two lives out of it? That's gonna be a lot of work. It'll be really hard.

• 1:26:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:19Speaker 03

  So you need to make sure that you're not just holding on to the life you had together because it's comfortable and pleasing. And you need to make sure that you're going out and building your own thing. But I think if you can do that, nice, really nice to do it for the kids.

• 1:26:28Stavros Halkias?

  It's, and but I-

• 1:26:28Speaker 03

  And also have everyone together.

• 1:26:29Stavros Halkias?

  Let's also ask, well, how old are these fucking kids? Cause it's 23 years.

• 1:26:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:33Stavros Halkias?

  Are these 23-year-olds? Cause, alright, let's stop ducking behind the kids.

• 1:26:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:38Stavros Halkias?

  You know, if they're seven, maybe it's a little different. But if they're fucking adults, then maybe, I just really think about what you want. Cause also, as, this woman didn't really have a point of view in general.

• 1:26:49Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:26:49Stavros Halkias?

  Has she thought about, have you even thought about this really? Or is she kind of going with the flow?

• 1:26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:53Stavros Halkias?

  I would love a little more info here.

• 1:26:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:56Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I could see it both ways.

• 1:26:57Speaker 03

  Who doesn't understand it? Who's pressuring you to not do it?

• 1:26:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, I need to know. What are they to you?

• 1:27:01Speaker 05

  I think is there also like some underlying, like, she has to be really honest with herself about, is there some hope on either her or the husband's part that they will fuck again?

• 1:27:10Speaker 03

  Bingo.

• 1:27:11Speaker 05

  That they just like start fucking as divorcees and in terms of like this weird, ongoing limbo?

• 1:27:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:17Speaker 03

  Sorry, that'd be hot.

• 1:27:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you start living like gay guys.

• 1:27:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. They start doing one of the sexiest things you could do. Just covertly fucking your divorced ex. In this spare room on Thanksgiving.

• 1:27:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. It always does feel, fucking an ex really is one of, one of the, the sweetest, like, forbidden fruits, you know what I mean?

• 1:27:38Speaker 03

  Well, fucking someone who swore they, they were never gonna wanna fuck you again.

• 1:27:41Stavros Halkias?

  Feels good.

• 1:27:41Speaker 03

  Like someone being like, "We can't do this, it's, it's bad for us."

• 1:27:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:44Speaker 03

  And then being like, "Damn."

• 1:27:45Stavros Halkias?

  But I need that. I need those powerful strokes, Stavros, uh, or whoever.

• 1:27:52Speaker 03

  Stavvy. We should have a morning radio show.

• 1:27:57Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, honestly, put, when podcasts become what get Vegas residencies, we're gonna, we're gonna fucking merge So True and Stavvy's world and we're gonna fucking do, we're gonna be at the Tropicana.

• 1:28:09Speaker 03

  We're gonna commission the most powerful seats in the country.

• 1:28:13Speaker 03

  And bring, and bring this herd of cattle into Vegas.

• 1:28:17Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, we will be sitting on reinforced steel, I promise you that.

• 1:28:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point, Aldous. And so, yeah, that's what we're gonna say here. We'd love a little more information. You yourself understand that you didn't even truly ask us anything. And we just kinda, kinda gave our best guess. But, yeah, good luck out there.

• 1:28:37Speaker 03

  What I gather from the call is that you, you have no point of view, you hardly have a life, it seems. It's hard to understand where you're coming from, cuz I don't know that you're coming from anywhere.

• 1:28:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:47Speaker 03

  Best of luck.

• 1:28:48Stavros Halkias?

  But also, it's interesting because like, you know, uh, like, you're, like, you said you're, you're, at your holidays, you're spending with your grandma, like, it's, people have weird family situations, like, you know, my, my family, we are, our holidays have been strange where it's like, you know, some of, you know, my brothers have gotten married, some of them spend it with their, with their wives, shit that we used to do together as a family, now they're splitting off, like, shit changes in general. It's not just divorce, it's like, people are just always have, you know, holiday stuff, I've spent it with friends that are really close to me, so it's like, don't be afraid of change necessarily. And don't be afraid to have a non-traditional, like, holiday setup either.

• 1:29:29Speaker 03

  It can be beautiful. My Thanksgiving this year will be literally like, neighbors of mine, friends- Of mine, my mom, my mom's side of the family, my dad's side of the family.

• 1:29:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:37Speaker 03

  Like, because now I host, so now I'm the connecting piece.

• 1:29:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:40Speaker 03

  It'll be, yeah, it'll be like, it, it, it, family is weird, just do what feels good.

• 1:29:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:45Speaker 03

  And genuinely do what feels good.

• 1:29:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:47Speaker 03

  That's also holiday advice. If you don't like doing something, don't do it just because.

• 1:29:50Stavros Halkias?

  Don't fucking do it.

• 1:29:52Speaker 03

  Fucking bail out on that.

• 1:29:52Stavros Halkias?

  That sucks. I hate that.

• 1:29:54Speaker 03

  Get out of there.

• 1:29:54Stavros Halkias?

  Aspect of it.

• 1:29:55Speaker 03

  We have to go to Tuscaloosa because it makes grandma happy. Fuck grandma.

• 1:29:58Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck her, that old bitch. She's gonna be in the dirt soon.

• 1:30:04Stavros Halkias?

  Play us another little LD. You need a drink or anything, buddy?

• 1:30:07Speaker 03

  No, I'm good.

• 1:30:08Stavros Halkias?

  Hi, it's Dobby Baby, eldest and esteemed guest. I have a question about my girlfriend, her friend and her boyfriend. So, uh, my girlfriend often goes out with her best friend and her boyfriend for lunch or dinner or drinks when I'm not available about working or doing whatever. And, uh, her best friend's boyfriend will pay for all, uh, my girlfriend's drinks and food and stuff. And it's really fucking annoying and I hate that he does it because now when I go out with my girlfriend and his girlfriend, he's not there. I feel obligated to do the same thing. And I don't wanna pay for another bitch's food or drinks or whatever.

• 1:30:53Stavros Halkias?

  You sound like a fun dude. My girlfriend has her own goddamn money when she's not with me and I have one girlfriend. I don't wanna be paying for two girlfriends. And this guy, he does well for himself. He makes good money. I do too, but I pay for my girlfriend. You pay for your girlfriend. My girlfriend's got her own fucking money. Your girlfriend's got her own fucking money. I don't wanna be obligated to pay for your fucking girlfriend. When you're not around. Um, it's frustrating. And when I don't do it, my girlfriend kinda gives me a look. You don't do it? I don't like it. Uh, so what do I do? Do I just say? Fuck it. I'll just do it because it's nice. It's the right to return the favor. Or just say, "Just because you did doesn't mean I have to." Oh my. How do I handle this?

• 1:31:38Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. Wow, that was some of the most little dickery I've ever heard in my life.

• 1:31:43Speaker 03

  Hey Stobby, what's up dude? Uh, so basically, my girlfriend's friend has a nicer boyfriend than me. And he's treating my girl like fucking gold.

• 1:31:54Speaker 03

  And then she expects me to be nice to women, I'm not fucking. So I guess, Stobby, what fucking gives?

• 1:32:03Speaker 03

  What's this bitch's fucking angle? And is her boyfriend a faggot? Or do I got some fucking points? What are you talking about, loser?

• 1:32:13Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, and you know what's cra- you're absolutely right, the treating a woman I'm not fucking nicely thing really is what it boils down to.

• 1:32:19Speaker 03

  Also, you fucking idiot, these guys are so stupid, do you know what would get your girlfriend hotter than anything? Is to treat her friend fucking nice.

• 1:32:27Stavros Halkias?

  A little kindness, yeah.

• 1:32:28Speaker 03

  You treat her friend nice, guess what's happening when you go home that night?

• 1:32:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:31Speaker 03

  A lot of fun.

• 1:32:32Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of better-

• 1:32:32Speaker 03

  You fucking idiot.

• 1:32:33Stavros Halkias?

  Much better stuff than, than, uh, in- insisting her friend Venmos you for buffalo egg rolls.

• 1:32:39Speaker 03

  You fucking-

• 1:32:40Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you sending her friend a 12.95 Venmo request is not getting you sucked off, pal.

• 1:32:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can, look, I can tell by the, the tone and the arrangement of the voicemail, y'all aren't going to caviar spots.

• 1:32:55Speaker 03

  I know we're talking about a Texas Roadhouse bill.

• 1:32:57Stavros Halkias?

  You can't spring for a pizzookie at BJ's, my friend?

• 1:33:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess, what's, what's hotter, you pick up the friend's 12.99 burger and fries? Or you refuse and white knuckle the steering wheel the whole way home?

• 1:33:12Stavros Halkias?

  You think I'm made of red robin burgers with unlimited fries, you fucking bitch? I mean-

• 1:33:18Speaker 03

  I don't want to pay for another bitch's meal.

• 1:33:21Stavros Halkias?

  And you know what's crazy is that like, okay, I fully don't agree with this, this philosophically, this is crazy.

• 1:33:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:28Stavros Halkias?

  But what really gets me is the tone.

• 1:33:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:30Stavros Halkias?

  Because like, let's just say you're a guy who's just not doing that well financially, you're like, "I love my girlfriend, her friends are great, this other guy, he's just better off, he's better off financially than me. I'd love to be able to do this, but he's putting me in a weird situation."

• 1:33:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:45Stavros Halkias?

  I could see how that would be a little bit of an issue. Ultimately, you still have to fucking suck it up, I mean, he's just, but you just have, it would just be weird not to return the favor.

• 1:33:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:33:55Stavros Halkias?

  But his anger and his fucking like, clear annoyance is just-

• 1:34:02Stavros Halkias?

  I hate you dude, let alone what your fucking with the girlfriend thinks and and we might not even we might even be able to get along if I met you in different circumstances. But your take on this sucks.

• 1:34:12Speaker 03

  You're so right. If if his angle had been like, I'm stressed out. I don't make as much money as this guy. I really want to treat my girlfriend's friend nice because he treats my girlfriend nice and we're all buddies. Would it be cheap to like suggest that we go to cheaper places when we all hang out?

• 1:34:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, how do I handle this?

• 1:34:26Speaker 03

  Money he does. That would be a different angle. This this is was frankly concern like I feel like this guy is on the steps of the Capitol. About to like self immolate over this. Like he's so scary and intense.

• 1:34:39Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 1:34:39Speaker 03

  I hate that he's getting laid.

• 1:34:42Stavros Halkias?

  I know. And it's like, dude, what I mean, he says he does well.

• 1:34:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:47Stavros Halkias?

  You say you do well for yourself, dude. So fucking suck it up. My girlfriend has her own money. It's like, dude, also, how often is this happening?

• 1:34:55Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:34:55Stavros Halkias?

  What are we talking about? A lunch a month?

• 1:34:58Speaker 03

  Hey, Stavi. So basically, my friend goes out with her girl, her friend's boyfriend, three, four times a week.

• 1:35:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, that's another issue. It's like, yeah, I mean, if this is happening all the time, then maybe you got a different issue. But it's like, I can't fathom if he's talking about this being a scheduling issue, right? And it's like, what we they usually go on double dates, it sounds like, right? And it's like, when he's not available, they'll go out with him, right? So that's so most of the time it's double dates. Sometimes it's the other guy. Sometimes it's just him. One out of like, how often is it just him? It can't be that many times.

• 1:35:31Speaker 03

  Well, it sounds like it might be.

• 1:35:33Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is crazy. So dude, you're so fu- your attitude is so, so fucked up here. It's insane. It's like, you gotta fucking spring forty extra bucks. What are we fucking talking about here? And yes, learn to just be nice to people in your life. These are people, this is your friend, your girlfriend's close friend, like it's probably her best friend.

• 1:35:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:54Stavros Halkias?

  Would it kill you to show kindness to other people in your life? It would be different if you weren't doing well, but he's he's made a point to say, I do well for myself.

• 1:36:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:03Stavros Halkias?

  You philosophically just don't want to spring like if this hurt your pockets for real, it's a different story. But if it doesn't, you're being a fucking bitch. You gotta just fucking be a nice guy. And when in doubt? When in doubt, paying a little more, tipping a little more, go, you know, caring a little more. If it doesn't, if you're not gonna be affected by it, when in doubt, always do a little more and your life will be better for it. I promise you.

• 1:36:31Speaker 03

  Also, message for this guy that I wanna give to a lot of people, relax.

• 1:36:37Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:36:37Speaker 03

  You have got to calm down.

• 1:36:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:36:39Speaker 03

  There is no reason you should be this worked up. This is so silly and I'm also like, what else do you get this worked up about? Your girlfriend should, I'm sorry, I'm just gonna say it, it seems like your girlfriend should break up with you.

• 1:36:49Stavros Halkias?

  I agree.

• 1:36:50Speaker 03

  You seem really intense, I think you need some time to figure out you. This was crazy.

• 1:36:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what are, he definitely has hangups about money and about, this is also a very, which I appreciate about you. You don't have this, but it's like, this is kind of like, white American behavior.

• 1:37:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:06Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, like, I had a, I had a friend who's like from, like, in college, I lived with another Greek kid and then we also lived with our buddy who was just from like Maryland, just straight up, you know, honky ass motherfucker. And this guy, everything was, you almost felt like he was trying to get one over on you.

• 1:37:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:23Stavros Halkias?

  He had this scheme for a while where he was like, hey guys, you wanna split groceries? And we're like, that sounds good. Turns out his parents were just paying for his groceries and he was still taking money from us.

• 1:37:32Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:37:33Stavros Halkias?

  He was like, well, you guys, you guys bought a third of them, what is it, what is that matter to you? And it's like, that's not the point, you're taking money from us. You're, like, why should you profit? It was just like, but that's how some people think and that's like a shitty mentality. That's not how you treat the people in your life, that's not how you treat your friends.

• 1:37:51Speaker 03

  Well, they do, they view everything through a lens of fairness, they go, well, isn't it fair? And I would say to that, is it kind?

• 1:37:56Stavros Halkias?

  Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:57Speaker 03

  Who gives a fuck if it's fair?

• 1:37:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:59Speaker 03

  You're stealing from your poor friends. Do you feel good about that?

• 1:38:02Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, yeah, I was also so broke at the time, so that's, that's a great thing is like, kindness, being kind and being a little nicer than you have to be, is never bad. Always improves everything.

• 1:38:14Speaker 03

  And if you can't, this is what I'm always saying to people, if you can't get on board with doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do, imagine the benefits that will bring to you. That's not how I do it, I'm nice because I think it's nice to be nice, but I'm saying, can you? Imagine

• 1:38:27Stavros Halkias?

  From a cold rational perspective.

• 1:38:28Speaker 03

  Just rational self-serving. If that's the place you come at the world from, right?

• 1:38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Which it is, clearly.

• 1:38:32Speaker 03

  It sounds like you do, right? So you go, what's the reality? I'm, I'm weird and upset about this and then my girlfriend sees me being weird and upset. Even if she's a total idiot and is like, cool with that, that's not a fun vibe for the relationship or the night. Or there's the version where you're really nice to her friend and she either neutral, doesn't care and doesn't see you weird and upset. Or she loves it and thinks you're a great guy.

• 1:38:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:51Speaker 03

  What is the loss here?

• 1:38:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:52Speaker 03

  You weirdo.

• 1:38:53Stavros Halkias?

  But it's also funny because he's so cooked. It's done.

• 1:38:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:57Stavros Halkias?

  Because he's already done this a couple of times.

• 1:39:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:00Stavros Halkias?

  And they're already talking about what a piece of shitty is compared to the nicer boyfriend.

• 1:39:05Speaker 03

  She's at lunch with just the girlfriend sometimes going, I just wish Ryan would be more like David.

• 1:39:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:10Speaker 03

  I promise you.

• 1:39:11Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. You're, you gotta, yeah, you have to fucking make up, uh, you know, something for the reason you did it. Or be overly nice or something, but either way, you gotta change the whole way you look at the world, man. That sucks. This call sucks, dude. You fucking suck. You bro, you're acting like a broke bitch when you have money. Disgusting behavior.

• 1:39:32Speaker 03

  Disgusting behavior. Hate to see it.

• 1:39:34Stavros Halkias?

  Tuh, I spit on that fucking piece of shit. I hope you have a fucking Thanksgiving turnaround, buddy.

• 1:39:39Speaker 03

  Like one of your biggest fans, probably.

• 1:39:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:41Speaker 03

  Has, has bought merch.

• 1:39:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:44Speaker 03

  Has your, has your freecall calendar hanging up in his office?

• 1:39:47Stavros Halkias?

  The calendar is for sale. Great, great plug. Let's fucking put a little, put a little fucking picture of it right here.

• 1:39:56Stavros Halkias?

  Play us another one, LD.

• 1:40:00Speaker 03

  This is Stavi, Eldis and Gas. Uh, I got a question for you that I think only you can handle. You got the best body positivity and owning your body out there.

• 1:40:12Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 1:40:13Speaker 03

  So I was always overweight as a kid, my whole freaking life. Uh, I got up to like 2:30.

• 1:40:19Stavros Halkias?

  Rookie numbers.

• 1:40:19Speaker 03

  And I finally, uh, started to work out. Just, just, how do you get to look good? But just because I was so fucking emo and couldn't even tie my fucking shoes.

• 1:40:29Stavros Halkias?

  I get that.

• 1:40:30Speaker 03

  Uh, now I'm

• 1:40:30Speaker 04

  I dropped out all the way to like one sixty-five, uh, lost some more weight than I ever would have thought, never would have thought I would have gotten this low. But another big problem that I thought was gonna go away, I was hiding it and never facing it and just assuming. I I got bitch tits, man, medically, medically induced bitch tits, gynecomastia.

• 1:40:53Speaker 04

  I mean, I'm I'm I'm twenty-four right now. Uh, honestly, we're just hoping it would go away one day with age, like like I'll do Googles and shit and. And they said it could go away as you grow older, but about to be twenty-four, about to be twenty-five, and I still got them. And honestly, I was never really insecure about them or anything. I was always good about owning like my body, or how big I was. Um, but now it's weird. Fat, like bitch tits.

• 1:41:21Stavros Halkias?

  My big naturals were never an issue for me. Yeah, I got perfect handcuffed, B-sized titties. Keep playing, Elvis.

• 1:41:29Speaker 04

  But now it's weird, dude, cause like when I was fat, like bitch tits just made sense to have like some fucking man boobs, like. I'm fucking fat, yeah, I'm gonna have some fucking man boobs. But now I'm like, I lost a lot of weight, I'm a little, I'm I'm not, I don't have a six pack or anything, but like, you know, I'm I'm I work out, I lift and like. I people like and I, you know, I'm always sleeveless, I got, you know, I got a little bit of muscle, but then I take off my shirt and shit. Just some fucking, just some, and they're inverted. I got inverted nipples too, bro, so it's just like.

• 1:42:01Speaker 04

  Surgery to get rid of them, and it's it's just weird because like as a kid. And I'll remember as a kid, I was like a teenager, I always owned it and like I never, I really never had a problem with it, people would give me shit. But I always told them I didn't care, and I honestly didn't, but it's just weird cause now I feel like it looks.

• 1:42:17Stavros Halkias?

  It does make sense.

• 1:42:18Speaker 04

  Because I'm fit now and I still. Have these tits.

• 1:42:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:42:23Speaker 04

  And the surgery just looks like a bitch. It's like a lot of recovery.

• 1:42:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:27Speaker 04

  Um, anyways, yeah, so like, should I, should I still just like own it and just like, be like, yeah, fuck it. It's just my body and I'm fine with it. Or should I get the surgery and have a much better physique?

• 1:42:41Speaker 03

  You know what?

• 1:42:42Speaker 04

  Uh, whatever you think. Let me know. Thank you, Salvi. Appreciate it.

• 1:42:46Speaker 03

  Interesting. I have so much to say about this.

• 1:42:48Stavros Halkias?

  Please go. The floor is yours.

• 1:42:50Speaker 03

  What you're experiencing right now is body dysmorphia.

• 1:42:53Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:42:53Speaker 03

  Something you used to like about your body has changed and you don't like, or something that didn't bother you about your body has now come into focus and you're not enjoying it.

• 1:43:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:01Speaker 03

  Okay. You're having body dysmorphia. Totally normal when you lose a bunch of weight or something big changes about your body. Happens to people who have accidents and lose limbs or like, like this is normal.

• 1:43:09Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:43:10Speaker 03

  But something interesting to me is that, you know, the kind of like this surgery, a lot of guys have this.

• 1:43:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:17Speaker 03

  The number one under eighteen uh gender surgery that occurs is for cis boys who have breasts that they want reduced.

• 1:43:26Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 1:43:27Speaker 03

  Did you know that?

• 1:43:27Stavros Halkias?

  I did not know that.

• 1:43:28Speaker 03

  Right wing people go on and on and on about sex changes for kids. Which is not happening.

• 1:43:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:43:34Speaker 03

  It is straight up not happening.

• 1:43:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:43:35Speaker 03

  They go on and on and on about this. I think it happens like maybe a dozen or two dozen times a year.

• 1:43:42Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:43:42Speaker 03

  And I I'm gonna butcher the numbers on this, but an overwhelming majority, like over ninety percent, if not like ninety eight. Over ninety percent of those are guys like this who have boobs.

• 1:43:53Stavros Halkias?

  Getting a little titty chopped off.

• 1:43:54Speaker 03

  Just getting, just getting their breasts reduced because they have, they have breasts and it makes them feel, it gives them gender dysphoria.

• 1:44:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:44:01Speaker 03

  They are a man, they are a boy. They feel like a boy, but a part of their body is not like making, like making them feel that way.

• 1:44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:44:07Speaker 03

  So it's wild to me that a lot of people on the right would be, would say, fuck this guy. He can't have that surgery. I think, by the way, brother, if you're not, if you're not liking it, if it's making you feel diswork about your gender, you feel like a man, you like the weight you've lost, you like the gains you're making in the gym, that's exciting you, and you want your chest to be developed in a different way as you continue that, get that fucking surgery, brother.

• 1:44:28Stavros Halkias?

  I agree with that. I think, I think especially because um, yeah, he's, he's just saying like,

• 1:44:35Stavros Halkias?

  It just makes me feel bad about my body. Uh, and he's into his credit, he's, he said he's, you know, lost some weight, he's trying to get more fit. And the weird thing is, losing the weight has made him more insecure about his body.

• 1:44:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:48Stavros Halkias?

  Because it highlights, you know, his, his, uh, luscious breasts. So, I agree with you that I think, I think, yeah, if you want to, dude, there's nothing wrong, as, as long as, um, like, it is truly, you know, actual gynecomastia, whatever, and it's not just like, what you're saying of like, maybe you need to adjust to your body, if it's not just kind of gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia where it's like, your mind is kind of playing tricks on you, I think like-

• 1:45:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're not making it up because now you look different, yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:17Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, like, make sure, and I, I, I trust this guy, cause we all know those guys who did have nice tits.

• 1:45:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:45:24Stavros Halkias?

  Like, growing up, it was weird, like, there was a couple kids who had just straight up, they'd be in the gym and they weren't like little fat boy titties, they were like,

• 1:45:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:45:32Stavros Halkias?

  Nice tits, like, there was, there was a kid, I won't say his name, it's probably a fucking package. Um, there's a, a couple kids I went to high school with that like, yeah, would like, do, like, would trick guy, would send pictures of their tits and be like, dude, those were my tits, you're fucking gay dude, that was a classic prank.

• 1:45:50Speaker 03

  Pull out your dicks if it's hard.

• 1:45:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:45:52Speaker 03

  Okay, alright.

• 1:45:56Stavros Halkias?

  But I knew two different guys that had like, round tits, that if you just looked at them, would, you'd absolutely would think they were like, nice, like, nice tits, so-

• 1:46:06Speaker 03

  The human body is complicated.

• 1:46:07Stavros Halkias?

  The human body is interesting, very interesting. So, yeah, dude, I'm with you, I'm with Caleb here where it's like, look, if you're really feeling like you wanna, you know, if you really feel like this is something that's really holding you back, get the surgery, who gives a fuck? I've seen, I see gym bros get that shit a lot because, kind of exactly in this guy's situation,

• 1:46:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:26Stavros Halkias?

  Where they lose a bunch of weight and they get jacked and then they're like, wait, I still have tits, what's going on here?

• 1:46:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:30Stavros Halkias?

  And sometimes you just have breast tissue.

• 1:46:32Speaker 03

  It's gonna be something, by the way, if you make a big change to your body, if you gain a bunch of weight, lose a bunch of weight, any, any big change you make to your body, it's going to be something.

• 1:46:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:41Speaker 03

  There's gonna be loose skin, there's gonna be a new proportion that looks different to you. You're gonna notice that you walk a little strange because your body's now a different proportion. There's going to be something.

• 1:46:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:50Speaker 03

  So just view it as part of the process. If you're, if you're on your way to a, a vision that you have of yourself that's different, go make it a reality.

• 1:46:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:46:57Speaker 03

  Go nuts, have the surgery, brother. Or there is the option where you say, no, I don't want to have surgery. It seems painful. The recovery seems bad. And it is, and it will be, by the way.

• 1:47:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:47:06Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 1:47:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:08Speaker 03

  If you say, no, I don't want to do that. That seems intense. I'm just gonna like, love myself and know that someone out there will fuck with this.

• 1:47:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:13Speaker 03

  Someone will. A lot of people will.

• 1:47:15Stavros Halkias?

  There might be a lady that's really into sucking on a man's titties.

• 1:47:19Speaker 03

  There surely is.

• 1:47:20Stavros Halkias?

  There's gotta be.

• 1:47:20Speaker 03

  They're out there.

• 1:47:21Stavros Halkias?

  I've only had it, there's one, one time a woman was kind of being mean to me and almost kind of calling me fat by playing with my tits.

• 1:47:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:47:27Stavros Halkias?

  But I've never really had too many people suck on my tits. But maybe for you, that'll happen, you know?

• 1:47:33Speaker 03

  You should try it sometime. Maybe it'd be nice.

• 1:47:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm, I'm, I guess, at this point, I don't fucking care. Do whatever.

• 1:47:39Speaker 03

  Have fun.

• 1:47:40Stavros Halkias?

  Have fun, yeah. If it's the love of my life that we were talking about earlier and she's gotta suck on my titties, great.

• 1:47:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:47:45Stavros Halkias?

  I do, I don't have this guy. I don't have, you know, I don't have the, the fat body type of titties. I have, for my body, I have pretty small titties, I would say. You too?

• 1:47:56Speaker 03

  I think I have the normal size. My, my tits are, I have nice tits. I like my man boobs.

• 1:48:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:00Speaker 03

  They're nice.

• 1:48:01Stavros Halkias?

  You're pretty normal. I say, you're right. I think mine are a pinch smaller than they should be, which I, I also like. I like the, the very round, you know?

• 1:48:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:09Stavros Halkias?

  Kind of stepfather body type that I got.

• 1:48:11Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, that's nice.

• 1:48:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:14Stavros Halkias?

  A hefty base, nice little base, big wheelbarrow, and then just little titties.

• 1:48:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:20Stavros Halkias?

  I just gotta get these arms bigger. We've discussed this. I gotta be big arms, little titties. It's been the, it's been the white whale of my life for the past probably seven years, big arms, little titties. And one day we'll get there.

• 1:48:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I see.

• 1:48:30Stavros Halkias?

  Moby Dick, he caught the whale at the end, right?

• 1:48:32Speaker 03

  Moby Dick, he gets the whale, yeah?

• 1:48:33Stavros Halkias?

  He gets the whale, right?

• 1:48:35Speaker 03

  Do we know?

• 1:48:35Stavros Halkias?

  That's a joke. I assume he doesn't. I thought you would know, cause you read books.

• 1:48:39Speaker 03

  Guys, sound off in the comments. Moby Dick, what happened?

• 1:48:40Stavros Halkias?

  I'm sure he doesn't. Isn't that the whole point of the book?

• 1:48:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, he probably doesn't if I had to guess.

• 1:48:44Stavros Halkias?

  If I had to guess, yeah.

• 1:48:45Speaker 03

  I only read halfway through that book.

• 1:48:47Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't read it at all.

• 1:48:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's, and let's never find out, by the way. Let's commit the three of us in this room. Don't read the comments, don't look it up. Let's never find out.

• 1:48:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, people are gonna be fucking, you fucking idiots.

• 1:48:59Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:48:59Stavros Halkias?

  But suck us.

• 1:49:02Speaker 03

  Suck us.

• 1:49:03Stavros Halkias?

  Suck us, dummies.

• 1:49:04Speaker 03

  Suck us twenty, twenty thirty eight.

• 1:49:06Stavros Halkias?

  Suck us twenty thirty eight.

• 1:49:07Speaker 03

  Al Kisharan. Suck us.

• 1:49:10Stavros Halkias?

  Suck us and bust. Suck us, bust and vote for abortion.

• 1:49:14Speaker 03

  Busting at the abortion clinic. Suck us.

• 1:49:17Speaker 05

  When Trump won, my sister texted me, she's like, what the fuck is happening? She was like, Stop should run for president.

• 1:49:22Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:49:23Speaker 05

  And then she was like, Stop's platform, Republicans can suck my dick.

• 1:49:29Stavros Halkias?

  She's not far off.

• 1:49:31Speaker 03

  Well, they can.

• 1:49:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, if they're high, they actually can, yeah. I mean, I'm not fucking doing a, I'm not doing a voter registration check when I'm getting sucked off.

• 1:49:40Speaker 03

  I'm not means testing somebody who wants to give me head. That's right.

• 1:49:45Stavros Halkias?

  We don't, we're against means testing.

• 1:49:47Speaker 03

  No purity testing.

• 1:49:48Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, whatever benefits.

• 1:49:49Speaker 03

  Testing. If you want to give me head, I don't care what you said on the internet in 29. In 2009, say whatever you need. If you want to suck me off, your voting record doesn't matter.

• 1:50:02Stavros Halkias?

  Amen, brother. You said it. Oh, fuck. What do we, what do we got? I, I feel, you good, man? Are we good? You good to keep rolling? Do you have somewhere?

• 1:50:10Speaker 03

  Keep rolling? Like what? You want to do more voicemails?

• 1:50:12Stavros Halkias?

  One more voicemail?

• 1:50:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:14Speaker 03

  Sounds nice.

• 1:50:15Stavros Halkias?

  Something to go out on? I don't know how long we've been doing it. I, I've lost track because I'm having a good time.

• 1:50:19Speaker 05

  We're at 1:42.

• 1:50:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:50:21Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:50:23Speaker 06

  Hey, LD, sumptuous guest. It's good to see you all. Well, I can't see you, but anyways, okay, here's the deal. Is I recently graduated from community college.

• 1:50:33Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:50:34Speaker 06

  And I'm also, I happen to be a comic and things have sort of been popping off for me. The road has been good to me.

• 1:50:39Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 1:50:40Speaker 06

  Um, and one of my old professors caught wind of it and he, he recently asked if I wanted to go back and visit the school and teach a seminar on joke writing, which is super exciting. I, I'm, I'm really, I really was super hyping it up. But then he mentioned to me that he asked another student who does- Comedy at the school to also present on this presentation. Um, and here's the thing is I'm, I'm putting this as gently as I can. She's the worst comic I've ever fucking seen. She, it's just a nightmare.

• 1:51:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:51:19Speaker 06

  She's, she's been a problem in the scene. She's like banned from all of the open mic. This woman shouldn't even be near a microphone, much less teaching a seminar on joke writing.

• 1:51:27Speaker 03

  You, you shouldn't be either, by the way.

• 1:51:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, let's.

• 1:51:29Speaker 03

  Can I just say, somebody who calls into Stavi's podcast to say that he's killing it on the road?

• 1:51:34Stavros Halkias?

  There's no way that's true, buddy.

• 1:51:35Speaker 03

  Also, did you, did you notice the slide from teaching a seminar to presenting on a presentation?

• 1:51:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:51:40Speaker 03

  Something's off here, my friend.

• 1:51:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'd love to have a little more info. You're not, here's the thing, no new comic. And as he say, he didn't say he's new, but if he's just recently out of college, he's relatively new. You're not as good as you think you are. You're probably bad.

• 1:51:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:51:55Stavros Halkias?

  We all think we're good. I remember thinking I was, I actually quit my job because I had so much like local road work.

• 1:52:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:52:03Stavros Halkias?

  That I was like, whoa, I, I made enough money where I was like, if this keeps going, I don't need a job. And I quit my job and I did not get booked for, I just, all my gigs were just in two months. I didn't get booked for six months after that. And I was like, oh, fuck. I can't quit. I'm, I'm not good. I'm not a professional comic. I just happened to get booked at all the gigs that were gonna book me this year.

• 1:52:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:52:25Stavros Halkias?

  In two months.

• 1:52:26Speaker 03

  And they're not gonna have you back to do the same 15 minutes.

• 1:52:28Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:52:29Speaker 03

  Next week.

• 1:52:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hey, hey, 35.

• 1:52:34Stavros Halkias?

  But yes, the, anyway.

• 1:52:35Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 1:52:35Stavros Halkias?

  Just to be clear, you're not doing as well as you think you are. We're pretty positive.

• 1:52:39Speaker 03

  But we'll hear you out.

• 1:52:40Stavros Halkias?

  But we will hear you out.

• 1:52:42Speaker 06

  Seminar on joke writing. She just, I mean, she just doesn't know anything about writing jokes, right?

• 1:52:47Stavros Halkias?

  Do you?

• 1:52:47Speaker 06

  So like, here's the problem though, is she's always advertising the fact that she quote unquote does comedy.

• 1:52:55Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds like she does.

• 1:52:55Speaker 06

  And she's even got like this club at the school, the comedy club there where she'll, she'll drag around an amp on wheels through the community college lunchroom and just start doing jokes at people trying to enjoy their lunch.

• 1:53:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sounds awesome.

• 1:53:08Speaker 06

  So it's like, like, people know her and she's telling everyone that she knows me, which is like, she does know me. She's a nice lady, but I don't know what's Do about the fact that there's a risk that this woman might be teaching comedy.

• 1:53:27Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, that would be a real big fucking problem. Who gives a fuck?

• 1:53:30Speaker 06

  I don't know. Where do I go? What do I do? I need some help. How do I move forward? Love you. Bye.

• 1:53:36Stavros Halkias?

  This is not an issue.

• 1:53:38Speaker 03

  When he's trying to trash this woman, he's like, he's like, yeah, she's saying she does comedy and she's like taking things into her own hand, making it work. Building a fan base slowly but surely. It's like, sounds like she does comedy.

• 1:53:47Stavros Halkias?

  Know who she is. By the way, even if she's horrible.

• 1:53:51Speaker 03

  She might be, yeah.

• 1:53:52Stavros Halkias?

  And she is. You are, you are the same. Like, that's the har- that's the thing about comedy. That's why it doesn't deserve any respect. You and anybody who just says they're a comedian and goes to open mics are the same until, I don't know. You've been doing it 10 years. Like, the internet has, people think because you have crowd work clips go viral, that it means anything. It doesn't mean fucking anything. And even, and look, and look, if you're starting to feature, even if you're starting to headline, maybe you're a little more established in this person, that's fine. But to be clear, what you said earlier is you also should not be teaching anybody comedy. No, there's an argument made that no one should be teaching stand-up comedy, that it's impossible to actually learn it that way. It's not like this other stuff that you can.

• 1:54:38Stavros Halkias?

  Like, most seminars, it's like, the best ones are from people who have been doing it a really long time, don't have any fucking. You know, they, they just know where they are. They really enjoy comedy and they just wanna give some knowledge, but they've been at it for like, I don't know, 15. Years, you know what I mean? Like, or, and then most of them are like, I, I like, sometimes it's just road comics that are like. Look, I don't fucking care, but I can make an extra 800 bucks if I, if I just come, if I come here on Saturday. Two hours before my fucking show, I'll just fuck it. You know what I mean?

• 1:55:11Speaker 03

  If you're jazzed about teaching a stand-up seminar at a community college. There's no, that's really cool. That could be a cool thing. But if it's like the thing that's making you feel excited about your career right now, you're not in a good enough place to be mean to this person. That's the reality. You and her are both in the lunch hall at the cafeteria. She might be the only one with an amp. You are both in there. So, don't be mean to her, relax. And also, I would like to offer you, my friend, the perspective, because I'm also not being mean to you. You might be really great. You might be the biggest comedian working in five years. I don't know. But here's a lot of perspective I would like to offer you on your road to greatness. Instead of never wanting to be associated with someone who's bad at this, why don't you go somewhere that you're excited to be and just tell you're part of it?

• 1:55:54Speaker 03

  Why don't you go do the fucking seminar and tell what you love about writing jokes? And don't be mean to that person. Maybe she could learn something from you. Maybe you could learn something from her. Relax and be a little nicer.

• 1:56:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we just don't have enough info about how you're in a completely unreliable narrator.

• 1:56:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:56:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, nothing you're saying is true and you're right. Anyone who's excited for their college, ask him to come back and do a joke writing seminar, does not have a comedy career.

• 1:56:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:56:19Stavros Halkias?

  They just want to feel, you want to feel like you're an authority because deep down, you know you're not, and that's fine. No one, no one is for a long time, you know? I've, I've literally been doing comedy since I was 19, and it's only in the last couple of years, I feel like I, I can, you know, let my nuts hang.

• 1:56:35Speaker 03

  Oh, you're nuts hanging. I also will tell you, I think a lot of people, myself included, who start out as artists and creatives, I can, I can recognize in your voice, the thing that you're feeling right now that I want to disabuse you of quickly, which is that you're feeling, you're using the fact that you think this person is so much worse than you at this to make yourself feel better about your skills. That is not sustainable.

• 1:56:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:56:56Speaker 03

  It's not nice, and if you were really that good, you wouldn't have to do that.

• 1:56:59Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:57:00Speaker 03

  So you should get over that quickly.

• 1:57:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and listen, we're not, I definitely felt that way, you know, I was definitely a bully open mic'er who I was like, yes, I was a little funnier than some other people and I would just mock that. I would be, you could hear my laugh when someone was bombing, you could hear me laughing in the back. That's who I was at open mic, you know what I mean? But that was shitty and that didn't help and it was only, you're right, when I just, now it's like, hey, someone's bad at comedy? Great. Doesn't affect me. I don't give a fuck. And, and, and he's also talking about this. He's like, like it's a big moral, how, how could I possibly let?

• 1:57:32Speaker 03

  The sanctity of comedy.

• 1:57:33Stavros Halkias?

  The seven half-interested community college students.

• 1:57:37Speaker 03

  Who are getting bonus points in some class.

• 1:57:39Stavros Halkias?

  Who are doing this for extra credit because they were too hung over to finish their blackboard assignment by midnight, who submitted their blackboard assignment two hours late and are forced to go to this. Like, this is not, this doesn't matter at all. Let's give you some perspective here. This is one of the least, uh, this is one of the least important events that will ever occur in human history, is this seminar at your community college.

• 1:58:02Speaker 03

  I've seen people pick a hot dog off a roller at 7-Eleven that had more steaks than what you're describing.

• 1:58:09Speaker 03

  This does not matter. One iota, my friend. And you're right, I did the same thing. I definitely, when I started in improv, I definitely thought it was funny that some of the people doing it with me thought they were as good at as I was. It's a totally natural thing. I'm not being mean to you. I'm just saying.

• 1:58:25Stavros Halkias?

  I am. I want to also say, I am being mean to you.

• 1:58:28Speaker 03

  I'm not. I'm just saying, disabuse yourself, get over that.

• 1:58:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:58:31Speaker 03

  Sooner rather than later.

• 1:58:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes. Keep at it. Keep working at it. I also know, we, we've both been exactly where you are. We're, I'm, I'm sure things have picked up a little bit more than the open mics. And I know, I, you know, I've obviously been shitting on you, but that is the funnest time and have a good time with it. I still think about that moment where it's like, because early in your comedy career is the funnest part where you're starting to get better and you're actually getting paid shows and you're like in, performing in front of different types of people. That's the fu, that was the funnest time of my life. So have a good time with it. You're still not, no, you should be teaching nobody anything. Um, but, and you know, this lady might suck, but who gives a fuck? And this seminar doesn't matter.

• 1:59:12Speaker 03

  Stav, do you want to know something? You just reminded me of something I cried at yesterday.

• 1:59:15Stavros Halkias?

  What's that?

• 1:59:16Speaker 03

  I cry, I'm a crier.

• 1:59:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:17Speaker 03

  I cried yesterday. It was related to what you're talking about. There was a video, I might cry talking about it. There was a video of Sandra Oh.

• 1:59:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:24Speaker 03

  Really wonderful actress, who she was on a red carpet talking about, she was like, oh, do you know Chapel Rohn? She was like, I love Pink Pony Club. And the person in the interview was like, why do you love Pink Pony Club? And she was like, because I can remember the beginning of that song feels to me, she was talking to a younger person. And she was like, I can remember when I was your age and everything felt like it was just starting. And then they, and then of course, it was an edit. So they played the song over like videos of her as like a younger actor. Oh, I sobbed. I was like, that's so beautiful. But you're right. It's so fun when it feels like things are just beginning.

• 1:59:53Stavros Halkias?

  It's the best.

• 1:59:54Speaker 03

  You're like, oh man, I might, this thing I've like

• 1:59:56Stavros Halkias?

  Possibilities.

• 1:59:57Speaker 03

  Stressed about and dreamed about might actually happen. Oh, that's so fun.

• 2:00:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 2:00:00Speaker 03

  That rocks.

• 2:00:01Stavros Halkias?

  I agree. That rocks.

• 2:00:02Speaker 03

  But also you need to remember, this girl might be feeling that about the things, about being asked to be on the seminar as well. So let her have her moment too.

• 2:00:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I would, I would, I would, yes, I would just like to say, you're both equally excited to do the seminar. What does that tell you?

• 2:00:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:00:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's it. That's a little food for thought.

• 2:00:20Speaker 03

  That's all.

• 2:00:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's all. And that's a little, that's a nice little note to go out on this beautiful Thanksgiving Monday, where everyone, go set a reminder, if that's even possible, to do on Max, to watch Sweethearts.

• 2:00:33Speaker 03

  Hit the remind button on Max, y'all.

• 2:00:37Speaker 03

  You guys know.

• 2:00:38Stavros Halkias?

  The classic remind button on Max.

• 2:00:40Speaker 03

  The famous Max interface. Hit that remind button, y'all. Don't forget to do that.

• 2:00:47Stavros Halkias?

  Go watch Sweethearts, listen to So True, it's a great podcast. That was one of my favorite podcasts I've done in years. I had a blast on your pod. Uh, thank you so much for coming, Caleb. This was the best, dude. Thanks.

• 2:00:58Speaker 03

  Dude, I can't wait to have you on my show again.

• 2:00:59Stavros Halkias?

  I'm coming back, dude. I'll be, I'll be the co-host, dude. I love you, brother. Uh, thank you guys for listening and, uh, we will, we will talk to you next week. Bye-bye.

• 2:01:07Speaker 03

  Chabala.

• 2:01:29Speaker 00

  This podcast is supported by Nurtac ODT, Remedy Pant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtac. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtac can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtac is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat.

• 2:02:08Speaker 00

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• 2:02:28Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and Unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavvy Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavvy's World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the Premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV.

• 2:03:14Stavros Halkias?

  Terms apply.