Hitting Rock Bottom

Pre-order Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It: sites.prh.com/phoebe-bermans-gonna-lose-it SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com This week, Brooke and Connor are celebrating big. Connor gets serenaded for his birthday (2 weeks late) and Brooke reveals the cover of her book Phoebe Berman’s Gonna Lose It! Plus, they talk about hitting rock bottom and answer more of your questions! Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Want to try a FREE pack of Goodwipes? Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger—or your local store—then head to https://www.goodwipes.com/BNC, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Goodwipes—because butts deserve better. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to http://RocketMoney.com/bandc today Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/5vj8zukj #CashAppPod As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Visit gemini.google/students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 The Never Ending Birthday 0:56 Intro 1:18 Walking Around LA 2:30 Feliz Cumpleaños 5:02 An Energy Shift 7:35 Phoebe Berman Cover Reveal!!! 13:56 Phoebe Berman Synopsis 17:59 Goodwipes 19:30 Rocket Money 21:25 Getting Attacked By Bugs 23:12 Time Isn’t Real 24:19 Circling Back On NATO 25:39 TSITP Recap 28:28 Diving Into Moby Dick 31:13 House By The Cerulean Sea Review 35:02 Happy Friday Mr. Fantasy 37:30 Answering Your Questions 43:47 Cash App 46:06 Google Gemini 47:03 Breaking Down at Trader Joe’s 48:39 Moving Rock Bottom 50:24 Is Cheating OK? 52:40 Absolutely Drenched 53:23 Favorite Movies 55:55 Hooking Up With Your Roommates 58:05 Copying Your Roommates & Femcels 1:02:37 Worst Hyperfixation 1:05:28 See You In Bonus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:26Speaker 01

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• 0:53Brooke Averick?

  You want to start podcasting?

• 0:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we are podcasting right now.

• 0:56Brooke Averick?

  I am so sorry to have such a bad stomach ache on your birthday episode.

• 1:00Connor Wood?

  Ah, man, listen. I heard you got you a dime piece, man. Wasn't looking good in George.

• 1:10Brooke Averick?

  So, for those of you that are just listening, Connor's in stew today.

• 1:14Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:15Brooke Averick?

  And the stew is decked out in the most amazing birthday decorations courtesy of Ismael De, our perfect, perfect producer. And it's just glorious. It's a Western theme. It's just Connor's wearing a cowboy hat. He looks so handsome. Now he has like a little like wanted frame around his pretty, pretty face. And it's all amazing and very great.

• 1:38Connor Wood?

  It's all, it's all really great. It's so special. I do need my birthday to be over right now.

• 1:42Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 1:43Connor Wood?

  It's been, it's the birthday that never ends.

• 1:45Brooke Averick?

  It'll be over in like 15. Does that work?

• 1:48Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that's fine. That works.

• 2:07Connor Wood?

  I got you these.

• 2:09Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 2:10Connor Wood?

  Well, cuz I-

• 2:10Brooke Averick?

  That's so sweet. Why did you get me something for your birthday?

• 2:14Connor Wood?

  I didn't know today-

• 2:15Brooke Averick?

  Connor got me flowers.

• 2:16Connor Wood?

  I didn't know today, eight days after my birthday, would still be my birthday.

• 2:19Brooke Averick?

  Thank you, honey.

• 2:21Connor Wood?

  Of course. Honey?

• 2:22Brooke Averick?

  Thank you, howdy, honey.

• 2:24Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 2:25Brooke Averick?

  Wow, I love them.

• 2:26Connor Wood?

  They're dried, so you don't have to like-

• 2:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 2:28Connor Wood?

  Get them into water.

• 2:29Brooke Averick?

  I'm starting to think about caring about them.

• 2:30Connor Wood?

  No.

• 2:31Brooke Averick?

  I mean, caring for them. I cared about them so deeply.

• 2:34Connor Wood?

  I didn't even catch that.

• 2:35Brooke Averick?

  But like, for them.

• 2:36Connor Wood?

  I didn't catch that.

• 2:37Brooke Averick?

  That's so sweet.

• 2:38Connor Wood?

  Someone in the edits would catch that.

• 2:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, no.

• 2:41Connor Wood?

  I don't even care about them.

• 2:41Brooke Averick?

  I care about them a pretty good bit, but I don't have to care for them in a way that would be hard for me, like watering them.

• 2:46Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm. It is hard. Oh my gosh, I just realized there's flowers that I got for your sister are just sitting in that bowl.

• 2:52Brooke Averick?

  That's fine. That's really nice that you get flowers for people.

• 2:55Connor Wood?

  I love getting flowers for people.

• 2:56Brooke Averick?

  It's a nice thing to do.

• 2:57Connor Wood?

  Um, so, I have to tell you about what I just did.

• 3:00Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 3:02Connor Wood?

  So, I was walking here. I had a, I was down the street on set.

• 3:08Brooke Averick?

  You were down the street on set?

• 3:10Connor Wood?

  I was getting fitted for a wig.

• 3:12Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Can you tell us for what?

• 3:14Connor Wood?

  No, I can't. I don't think. But... It's not even like Secret Project Vibes. I just think I legally can't say anything yet.

• 3:20Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 3:22Connor Wood?

  Is the energy off in here, or what's going on?

• 3:24Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 3:25Connor Wood?

  Okay, yeah. Oh, Lauren, not me looking at Lauren and saying, "Is the energy off?" We have not, we have not figured it out. We have not hit our stride yet.

• 3:34Brooke Averick?

  But Connor, I want you to know that it's okay.

• 3:37Connor Wood?

  No, I know it's okay. But I just want, I want you to know that I haven't gone to sleep since yesterday, cuz I had to get on that flight-

• 3:42Brooke Averick?

  I know that.

• 3:43Connor Wood?

  -at 4 a.m. today from Austin to get here.

• 3:45Brooke Averick?

  I know that.

• 3:46Connor Wood?

  Now, I'm walking here, so I leave that set.

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Hoy que vengo a saludarte

• 4:18Speaker 04

  Venimos a felicitarte

• 4:24Speaker 04

  El día que tu naciste Nacieron todas las flores

• 4:33Speaker 04

  En la pila del mao-mi-suo Cantaron los ruiz señores

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Que amaneciendo Ya los del día nos dio

• 5:02Speaker 04

  Sin flores Este día voy a adorar Hoy por ser sus cincuenta años Que venimos a cantar

• 5:20Speaker 04

  Happy Birthday Happy Birthday to you Que la paz se feliz Que la paz se feliz Que la paz se es contento

• 5:49Brooke Averick?

  Thank you so much, that was fabulous!

• 5:52Connor Wood?

  Thank you, happy birthday!

• 5:55Brooke Averick?

  So you were sensing, there was an energy to the room

• 5:57Connor Wood?

  Okay

• 5:58Brooke Averick?

  That you were sensing, and that was what it was

• 5:59Connor Wood?

  Can everyone give me a dollar for the fact that I called? I was like, something is very, very off here today?

• 6:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, we were waiting

• 6:07Connor Wood?

  And it was because there were four beautiful young men Four beautiful, talented young men That absolutely

• 6:14Brooke Averick?

  Lying in wait.

• 6:14Connor Wood?

  Needed to sing their hearts out.

• 6:16Brooke Averick?

  They needed to.

• 6:17Connor Wood?

  They were lying in wait.

• 6:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 6:18Connor Wood?

  Like the eggs in my peel.

• 6:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Whew, sorry, I was anticipating them and so I couldn't be here. I wasn't present because I was in anticipation.

• 6:28Connor Wood?

  Well, and did you hear me say like, I feel like I'm dreaming, something's weird?

• 6:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 6:32Connor Wood?

  Like snap out of it, snap out of it.

• 6:33Brooke Averick?

  You could sense them. They're a part of your DNA.

• 6:36Connor Wood?

  I adore them, those young men.

• 6:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So for audio listeners, there was a mariachi band that came into the studio. And they performed their hearts out pretty good bit, so.

• 6:46Connor Wood?

  Oh, my gosh. There was like not even a bingo card that could have had that on it that I would have put money on.

• 6:53Brooke Averick?

  It was hard to figure out where to look.

• 6:56Connor Wood?

  That was, that was, you know, when they say like, I'm uncomfortable around people singing Happy Birthday to you?

• 7:00Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:01Connor Wood?

  When there's four very talented gentlemen belting Feliz cumpleaños a tu, a tea, maybe?

• 7:08Brooke Averick?

  You're like fluent, fluent.

• 7:09Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yeah.

• 7:10Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 7:12Connor Wood?

  It is difficult to pick. I couldn't pick which one was my favorite. What do you?

• 7:15Brooke Averick?

  I mean, I freaking loved them all. I didn't really look at the trombonists because I, I was just feeling weird about angling my head that way.

• 7:24Connor Wood?

  They were aimed at, they were aimed at you.

• 7:26Brooke Averick?

  They were like right there.

• 7:27Connor Wood?

  Their horns were in your, were in your ear.

• 7:29Brooke Averick?

  So, I mean, that was freaking amazing. My stomach hurts like so bad and I'm sorry to keep saying that. It's just like if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there, do you hear it?

• 7:41Connor Wood?

  I don't hear it. I wasn't there.

• 7:44Brooke Averick?

  No, that's why I like, I need you to know my stomach hurts because otherwise you wouldn't, if I didn't say anything.

• 7:48Connor Wood?

  It, would it make a noise? And that?

• 7:51Brooke Averick?

  I guess they are different.

• 7:54Brooke Averick?

  It's just a car beeping. Did you think it was mariachi band?

• 7:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I thought they were playing another song.

• 7:58Brooke Averick?

  No, I think it's just a car beeping.

• 8:00Connor Wood?

  Oh, the mariachi band is in deep shit in the parking lot.

• 8:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:04Connor Wood?

  I hope they're okay.

• 8:05Brooke Averick?

  They, they will be. They will always be okay as long as they have each other and their instruments.

• 8:11Connor Wood?

  And the music in their heart.

• 8:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:12Connor Wood?

  We are not making sense today and it's really starting to scare me and we're only, we've only just begun.

• 8:16Brooke Averick?

  How are we supposed to be expected to make sense after that?

• 8:19Connor Wood?

  No, I don't know. I, that was, I'm whip-wapped and.

• 8:25Connor Wood?

  I have to recalibrate.

• 8:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 8:27Connor Wood?

  My heart's pounding.

• 8:28Brooke Averick?

  Should I do my thing? Do you feel like that will be a good time with my thing?

• 8:31Connor Wood?

  Yes, do that, yes. Do it, because I think that would shift us into chatting.

• 8:35Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well, I hate to like, I can't follow that up. And also, it's your birthday, so I'm sorry to do this now. It's just how the cookie has crumbled in terms of dates. But I'm gonna show you guys the cover for my book, which is incredibly exciting, except not that exciting because it's already happened by this time the episode comes out.

• 8:56Connor Wood?

  What's already?

• 8:57Brooke Averick?

  Everyone will have seen it already, for the most part.

• 8:59Connor Wood?

  Where will they have seen it?

• 9:01Brooke Averick?

  Like on my Instagram and stuff.

• 9:02Connor Wood?

  Oh, so you're gonna?

• 9:03Brooke Averick?

  It comes out earlier in the day of the day that this comes out. So I guess the people who don't follow me on Instagram will not have seen this.

• 9:13Connor Wood?

  Well, your thousands of...

• 9:15Brooke Averick?

  My bots.

• 9:16Connor Wood?

  Your thousands of bots will...

• 9:17Brooke Averick?

  My bots will have seen this. I don't know if the listeners have seen it yet, but the bots have seen it. And that's all that matters at the end of the day.

• 9:23Connor Wood?

  That's your family.

• 9:25Brooke Averick?

  So, I love my flowers. I'm gonna put them right here.

• 9:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so here is my book cover. And this is not the finished book. This is just a bound manuscript with the book cover, which is the closest thing that we have so far. The book hasn't gone to print yet, but here it is, everyone. Yay! And Connor, I had fully prepared to give this to you, the only copy that exists, and for your birthday.

• 9:54Connor Wood?

  Are you gonna say "but"?

• 9:55Brooke Averick?

  But then I realized I need to film stuff with it because I need a few weeks. But then I'm gonna send it to you and sign it.

• 10:03Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna...

• 10:03Brooke Averick?

  So, happy birthday.

• 10:04Connor Wood?

  Thank you.

• 10:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, and you'll have the only...

• 10:06Connor Wood?

  I will take that, like a...

• 10:07Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, like a Snickers.

• 10:08Connor Wood?

  In the future.

• 10:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 10:09Connor Wood?

  In a Snickers.

• 10:10Brooke Averick?

  Like a Snickers.

• 10:11Connor Wood?

  What's that?

• 10:11Brooke Averick?

  You'll eat it up like a Snickers bar.

• 10:13Connor Wood?

  Oh, God.

• 10:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So yeah, here's my book cover. It's incredible, designed by my dear friend Sarah Horgan. She's an amazing cover designer. I'm obsessed with her. And here's Phoebe. I don't know what else. Do you have any questions? I don't know what else to say.

• 10:29Connor Wood?

  No, I want to say I also had, I had contributed a little bit to picking that.

• 10:34Brooke Averick?

  You did. There were so, I had some really amazing choices. And this is where I landed and I was worried. There were two I was stuck between and maybe you'll see them. Maybe you'll see the runner up, but I was really scared that I was gonna be thinking about the runner up. And I haven't thought, I have not thought about the runner up once since I've seen this.

• 10:53Connor Wood?

  It's really, it's really great.

• 10:54Brooke Averick?

  Um, I really love it. It really speaks to Phoebe's essence. She's preschool teacher and she loves just like making lists and art supplies and markers. And so this really is just very reminiscent of her. And I think it's also like cute and flirty. You guys know it's cherry season and everything like that. There are cherries on the cover.

• 11:11Connor Wood?

  I had a cherry today.

• 11:11Brooke Averick?

  You did?

• 11:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah, three.

• 11:12Brooke Averick?

  Oh my God, you must have known.

• 11:14Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. There was an energy in here.

• 11:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, there's always an energy in here and the book comes out on May 26th. Oh, this is the crux of what I have to say. The book comes out on May 26th, 2026, but you can preorder it.

• 11:28Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:28Brooke Averick?

  Now, anywhere that you can get books.

• 11:31Connor Wood?

  Preordering is how they base New York Times Bestseller list on. So preorders are very important.

• 11:37Brooke Averick?

  And I did not even realize that.

• 11:39Connor Wood?

  I only know that because Hank's cookbook.

• 11:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. It's a pretty big deal to preorder someone's book. So this is just a girl. Sitting, sitting in front of a camera, asking people to preorder her book. That would mean the world to me and I think that you guys will love it and I'm so excited. And May 26th, 2026, here we come. Let's get those preorders in and you think that's it? Am I missing anything?

• 12:10Connor Wood?

  Preorders.

• 12:10Brooke Averick?

  Preorder the link will be in the bio of my Instagram and can, do you mind if we put it in the bio of this episode?

• 12:15Connor Wood?

  Not at all.

• 12:16Brooke Averick?

  As he says, we can put it in the bio of this episode and. What do you think? Your heart's pounding? Is it because of the Marriott?

• 12:24Connor Wood?

  No, no, no, please. I don't know. It just hasn't stopped since the boys came in.

• 12:27Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Connor's still reeling from the boys. And, oh, do you want me to? How about I do this? How about I can finally read like what the synopsis on the back of the book? Is that a good idea?

• 12:37Connor Wood?

  Yes, that's brilliant.

• 12:39Brooke Averick?

  Okay, because you guys can log it on Goodreads. Ah!

• 12:42Connor Wood?

  Wait, why would you want them to log? Like, this is true question.

• 12:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 12:46Connor Wood?

  Why would you want them to log it if they can't read it yet?

• 12:48Brooke Averick?

  Because you have a want-to-read shelf on Goodreads.

• 12:51Connor Wood?

  Oh, so they put it on your wishlist?

• 12:52Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, put it on in your TBR, your to-be-read. I want to read this. It's great exposure and shit like that. Shouldn't fuck like that, so.

• 13:01Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 13:01Brooke Averick?

  I haven't logged it yet. Because we're, right now, I have not revealed the cover. It is last week right now. So, I have not logged the book on Goodreads yet.

• 13:10Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 13:10Brooke Averick?

  Does that make sense?

• 13:11Connor Wood?

  Yeah, no.

• 13:13Brooke Averick?

  I'm worried about you.

• 13:14Connor Wood?

  I'm out of it, man. And I keep like, looking past the camera instead of at the camera.

• 13:19Brooke Averick?

  Um, okay. Hold on, pulling up.

• 13:22Connor Wood?

  A little tired. Oh, my gosh, I'll drink my Celsius. Like, there's so many solutions, you know?

• 13:26Brooke Averick?

  And this is also something interesting that I didn't know about books. I always thought that like authors just like wrote the back of their books. But they don't. There's like a whole team for doing shit like that.

• 13:36Connor Wood?

  It can be so important to have a team.

• 13:38Brooke Averick?

  There's so many people that go into a book. People say that it's an isolating process to write a book. I have found that to be the opposite of the truth. Phoebe has a team, and Team Phoebe is an amazing group of people. And I love them all deeply.

• 13:53Connor Wood?

  So, you're not the kind of writer like Ernest Hemingway that would go and lock himself away and get drunk every single day until he came up with like a? What did he write?

• 14:02Brooke Averick?

  Um.

• 14:03Connor Wood?

  Spider.

• 14:04Brooke Averick?

  So, um.

• 14:06Connor Wood?

  What did Ernest Hemingway write?

• 14:07Brooke Averick?

  Like, exactly.

• 14:12Brooke Averick?

  What did he write?

• 14:15Brooke Averick?

  The Old Man and the Sea? For Whom the Bell Tolls? I don't, The Sun Also Rises? I feel like that's the most, the one that I've heard.

• 14:23Connor Wood?

  Oh, it's crazy that Ernest Hemingway, like, I, I'd speak about him as if he's my family member.

• 14:27Brooke Averick?

  I was just thinking that, like, for such a name, like, I don't necessarily know what he wrote.

• 14:32Connor Wood?

  For Whom the Bell Tolls.

• 14:35Brooke Averick?

  I have heard of those books, I wouldn't be able to connect them back to him.

• 14:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Anyways.

• 14:42Brooke Averick?

  Um, I just got really shy about reading the-

• 14:45Connor Wood?

  Can I read it?

• 14:45Brooke Averick?

  Lot of, yeah.

• 14:47Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, it's long. Buckle up.

• 14:50Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 14:52Connor Wood?

  Meet one of the most unforgettable new protagonists in Phoebe Berman.

• 14:57Brooke Averick?

  Nope.

• 14:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Meet one of the most unforgettable new protagonists in Phoebe Berman.

• 15:02Brooke Averick?

  There's no fucking way, let me see that.

• 15:03Connor Wood?

  First line.

• 15:05Brooke Averick?

  We've been having some extreme glitches on good reading.

• 15:08Connor Wood?

  That's, no, that's right.

• 15:08Brooke Averick?

  No, it's not.

• 15:09Connor Wood?

  It's in her.

• 15:11Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 15:14Connor Wood?

  The protagonist is inside of her body.

• 15:15Brooke Averick?

  This is wrong.

• 15:18Brooke Averick?

  Let me text it, but hey, you know what?

• 15:19Connor Wood?

  Can we start this episode over?

• 15:20Brooke Averick?

  Hey. Hey, guys.

• 15:23Connor Wood?

  Like, I'm so thrown off by the Marriott.

• 15:25Brooke Averick?

  Just say, okay, just say,

• 15:29Brooke Averick?

  um, "Meet one of the most unforgettable new protagonists in fiction, colon, you don't have to say the colon, Phoebe Berman." So just pretend there's a colon there instead of the "in."

• 15:38Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 15:41Connor Wood?

  "Meet one of the most unforgettable new protagonists..."

• 15:44Brooke Averick?

  In fiction.

• 15:44Connor Wood?

  In fiction, Phoebe Berman. "She has one month to lose her virginity before she turns 30, if her own anxiety doesn't slow her down. A charmingly authentic and heartwarming debut novel from podcaster and comedian Brooke Averick. Is it possible to find true love when going on a date makes you want to throw up?

• 16:00Brooke Averick?

  Amen.

• 16:01Connor Wood?

  Phoebe Berman fears the one thing she wants." Phoebe Berman fears the one thing she wants to love.

• 16:08Brooke Averick?

  I'm gonna kill myself.

• 16:10Connor Wood?

  And everything that comes along with it.

• 16:13Brooke Averick?

  I'm blaming, like, truly, there's been so many hiccups with.

• 16:17Connor Wood?

  Thanks to an extremely unfortunate first kiss attempt, crippling intimacy anxiety has plagued her since she was a teen. With just a month to go before she turns 30, Phoebe is still a virgin. Phoebe has so much going on. Phoebe has so much going for a dream teaching job.

• 16:31Brooke Averick?

  There's not.

• 16:31Connor Wood?

  Phoebe has so much going for a dream teaching job. A supportive and hilarious group of best friends and all the romance novels that girl could want at her fingertips.

• 16:43Brooke Averick?

  Let's just call it. Let's just call it.

• 16:44Connor Wood?

  Like, I'm like the person you would call on during popcorn reading just to be mean.

• 16:47Brooke Averick?

  Let's just call. No, Goodreads, like, when there's, like, spaces and stuff, Goodreads has been really fucking it up when we put it in. And by we, I mean not me at all.

• 16:55Connor Wood?

  Determined to change this, she drafts up the ultimate guide to losing my virginity checklist with the hope of finally getting laid. Suddenly, she goes from a relatively boring, basically nonexistent dating life to juggling three romantic prospects at once. There's the gorgeous new fourth grade teacher at her school.

• 17:10Brooke Averick?

  That's Finn.

• 17:11Connor Wood?

  A former high school classmate that resurfaces through words with friends.

• 17:14Brooke Averick?

  That's Matthew.

• 17:15Connor Wood?

  And there will always be her roommate who might just be the best friends-to-lover situation of her dreams.

• 17:20Brooke Averick?

  And that's Jonathan. Thank you.

• 17:22Connor Wood?

  Phoebe's love life quickly takes a turn in a way she never anticipated. But between the love square she's gotten herself into and the stomachaches and cold sweats that surface whenever she gears up for a potential date, things are complicated. And Phoebe doesn't do complicated.

• 17:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 17:36Connor Wood?

  Phoebe Berman's Gonna Lose It is a brutally honest and painfully relatable story for anyone who's ever felt stuck between the coming of age and coming apart. Well done. I like that last line.

• 17:44Brooke Averick?

  That's a good one. So, thank you for reading that, Connor. That was amazing. Sorry about the hiccups. That is just... The Goodreads interface can be really tricky, and I'm glad that we're catching this before we go live.

• 17:56Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 17:57Brooke Averick?

  So, yay. That's it.

• 18:00Connor Wood?

  That's awesome.

• 18:01Brooke Averick?

  I'm so excited I got to say the boys' names.

• 18:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 18:04Brooke Averick?

  That's my freaking family.

• 18:05Connor Wood?

  That's crazy that that's literally just like you're just like, right, I chose these and that's the names of the boys.

• 18:10Brooke Averick?

  And that's it. Well, at first I had done like, I accidentally made everyone all, um, I named everyone. Do y'all mind if I like can't speak like at all today or what?

• 18:20Connor Wood?

  One of us has to. I'm scared.

• 18:22Brooke Averick?

  I had named everyone after the characters in Glee by accident. And so I had to change like half of them. And so I changed like half of them to like Jonathan and Matthew instead. So that's really, that's the end of that set.

• 18:36Connor Wood?

  It's very much your book at the end of the day.

• 18:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:39Connor Wood?

  No one, no one will have any second guesses that this is your book that you wrote.

• 18:42Brooke Averick?

  Yes. I think that's the moral of the story. The story.

• 18:49Brooke Averick?

  Let's just call it, call it.

• 18:51Connor Wood?

  That's the moral of the story.

• 18:53Speaker 00

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• 19:18Speaker 01

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a Berry Chantilly Cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings. And sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 19:46Brooke Averick?

  Um, yeah, I wrote it.

• 19:49Connor Wood?

  Well done. It's very exciting.

• 19:50Brooke Averick?

  Thank you, Connor.

• 19:51Connor Wood?

  Proud of you.

• 19:52Brooke Averick?

  Uh, coming your way soon.

• 19:54Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I can't wait. Get my hands on it. And my four pre-order copies will arrive and be put in my bookshelf on May 26th.

• 20:01Brooke Averick?

  Very sweet. Thank you.

• 20:02Connor Wood?

  Um, I have to tell you, so I walked here from that set.

• 20:06Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah.

• 20:07Connor Wood?

  Before the boys came in. Um, and it was two miles, but I was like, I have time. I was gonna go to Trader Joe's and I'm walking. And do you know those beetles that are everywhere in California? They're like big green beetles. They're shiny. I'm walking past this woman, a beetle.

• 20:29Connor Wood?

  As, as fast and hard as a beetle could run into someone's forehead. Clonk. She like, ah. What was that? Did they throw, did they throw some, because a car, she's like, did they throw something at me? I go, no, I think it was that beetle on the ground next to you. And she's like, no, they threw something at me. And I was like, it was that beetle.

• 20:49Brooke Averick?

  Who's they?

• 20:50Connor Wood?

  There's a car that drove by. She thought the car threw something at her. Completely distraught. I'm, it was right out here. I'm standing with her in this neighborhood. Now it looks like I've punched this woman in the face.

• 21:02Connor Wood?

  I feel bad for her. I can't imagine, those beetles are heavy. They, they look like a golf ball.

• 21:05Brooke Averick?

  And then she got clonked.

• 21:07Connor Wood?

  She, I heard the noise.

• 21:08Brooke Averick?

  Ugh.

• 21:09Connor Wood?

  Her head was hollow. Like, I don't think there was a, it popped her ass.

• 21:14Brooke Averick?

  Ooh, I like, I'm surprised she wasn't more disturbed about like the beetle feature.

• 21:17Connor Wood?

  No, she was really thinking that it was a hate crime.

• 21:19Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:20Connor Wood?

  She thought it was a drive-by, like someone threw a rock at her on the way by.

• 21:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 21:24Connor Wood?

  Damn.

• 21:25Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 21:26Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 21:29Connor Wood?

  That's my whole, so that's the podcast for today. That's the only thing that's happened to me.

• 21:34Brooke Averick?

  You got in this, early this morning?

• 21:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 21:36Brooke Averick?

  And you didn't sleep?

• 21:37Connor Wood?

  No, I did not.

• 21:38Brooke Averick?

  You're coming from Austin?

• 21:39Connor Wood?

  I came from Austin. I was in Austin yesterday. So the last time I talked to you, I was going to Austin and now I'm talking to you today. Just a, a mere, a mere 34 hours later.

• 21:48Brooke Averick?

  The way time moves in the studio. It's like such a Schrodinger. What?

• 21:54Connor Wood?

  Fro, shro.

• 21:56Brooke Averick?

  I said that normally.

• 21:58Connor Wood?

  Did she? Schrodinger?

• 22:00Brooke Averick?

  I said Schro, is it Schrodinger or Schrodinger? It's Schrodinger.

• 22:04Connor Wood?

  Schrodinger.

• 22:04Brooke Averick?

  Schrodinger.

• 22:05Connor Wood?

  No, Schrodinger.

• 22:06Brooke Averick?

  So it's a total Schrodinger's cat in this studio, always. Because right now we exist on, what is today? We exist on September 19th and we also exist on September 25th.

• 22:19Connor Wood?

  Hoo-Ha Box the Studio.

• 22:22Brooke Averick?

  This comes out on September 25th, no?

• 22:24Connor Wood?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh, you're right.

• 22:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 22:27Connor Wood?

  Okay, so, so, okay, I see what you're saying.

• 22:30Brooke Averick?

  But also, we don't exist in any of those dates.

• 22:34Brooke Averick?

  When you watch the podcast on another day.

• 22:37Connor Wood?

  Okay, I've been running into so many people that are listening to old podcast episodes. And they're like, "Look, I'm listening to this one, like, we love NATO," or whatever. Remember that one?

• 22:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I do.

• 22:46Connor Wood?

  And I'm like, "That's shocking that you're looking at me and you're talking to someone who just learned about NATO."

• 22:52Brooke Averick?

  You're looking at me and you're talking to someone who just-

• 22:54Connor Wood?

  And I've grown so much since I learned about NATO.

• 22:56Brooke Averick?

  Hey, tell us what NATO is.

• 22:57Connor Wood?

  National Honor Site.

• 23:01Brooke Averick?

  National Merit Scholar, the episode of Sweet Life, Zack and Cody, where Zack Efron makes a cameo.

• 23:07Connor Wood?

  No, I don't know. What is NATO again?

• 23:09Brooke Averick?

  National?

• 23:10Connor Wood?

  No.

• 23:11Brooke Averick?

  Listen to me speak. National Association.

• 23:15Connor Wood?

  It's not national, because it's everybody. Oh, my God, this is bad.

• 23:20Brooke Averick?

  North-

• 23:20Connor Wood?

  North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

• 23:22Brooke Averick?

  Exactly.

• 23:25Connor Wood?

  Are we even in NATO?

• 23:26Brooke Averick?

  Yes, in a, in a big way.

• 23:29Connor Wood?

  So, we're North Atlantic, huh? But what about California? California's Pacific. Is there a-

• 23:34Brooke Averick?

  Like, it would be like- It would be like a US. Like, it's not a state-by-state entry. Opportunity.

• 23:48Brooke Averick?

  Oh, this is not okay.

• 23:50Connor Wood?

  Forgot we're a country. So, is Canada in it? And Mexico? Okay, we have to stop.

• 23:57Brooke Averick?

  Wait, I just really quickly want to say that The Summer I Turned Pretty finale came out the other day.

• 24:03Connor Wood?

  Were you as distraught as everybody else in the world?

• 24:05Brooke Averick?

  You, you know, it's not distraught, like, distraught.

• 24:12Brooke Averick?

  You know, it's not distraught, like, negative connotation, right?

• 24:15Connor Wood?

  It's distraught-

• 24:15Brooke Averick?

  It's like an amazing, it's an amazing thing to be distraught about. It's like an amazing distraught. It's like, "Only bought this dress, eh? You could take it off vibes."

• 24:26Brooke Averick?

  Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm just, in my head right now is nothing but only bought this dress so you could take it off.

• 24:33Connor Wood?

  What does that mean?

• 24:33Brooke Averick?

  It's a song by Taylor Swift that was playing during an amazing scene.

• 24:37Connor Wood?

  What was the scene?

• 24:39Brooke Averick?

  Uh, do you think, I mean, y'all have had to watch it by now. Cause it's like September 25th today and it came out.

• 24:46Connor Wood?

  Yeah, if you're, if you're still planning on watching TSIP.

• 24:51Brooke Averick?

  Woo, it was the, uh, Belly and Conrad sex scene. It was amazing.

• 24:55Connor Wood?

  They have sex?

• 24:55Brooke Averick?

  Well, yeah, I guess they cut when, when they're about to do that, but it was a lot of kissing.

• 24:59Connor Wood?

  Why'd I hear that this was a teenager movie?

• 25:01Brooke Averick?

  Sometimes it is and sometimes it's like, oh my god.

• 25:05Connor Wood?

  That's like.

• 25:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, no, they were kissing.

• 25:08Connor Wood?

  Wait, are the two young men, are they both married?

• 25:12Brooke Averick?

  In real life?

• 25:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 25:13Brooke Averick?

  Just the one. He has a serious girlfriend.

• 25:17Brooke Averick?

  I've been thinking about her a lot. I've been thinking about her a lot. Younger than us.

• 25:24Connor Wood?

  Well, how old are they?

• 25:25Brooke Averick?

  Younger. He's, Chris Bryny is, whoo, Chris Bryny is 27. He was born on March 24th. That's my mom's birthday.

• 25:33Connor Wood?

  Lola Tong is 22. That's a little bit crazy.

• 25:36Brooke Averick?

  She is like the most gorgeous woman that I've ever seen in my life. It's amazing.

• 25:44Brooke Averick?

  But yeah, so I'm thinking a lot about the finale.

• 25:49Brooke Averick?

  What do you, what was your?

• 25:50Connor Wood?

  Wait, click on, can I see Chris Bryny's fiance?

• 25:54Brooke Averick?

  You know her?

• 25:55Connor Wood?

  Isabel Machado?

• 25:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I, is it that surf, no, it's not. Nevermind.

• 26:03Brooke Averick?

  No, I think she's an actress as well.

• 26:06Connor Wood?

  Oh, okay.

• 26:07Brooke Averick?

  Chris Bryny is a chameleon. Also, he's doing.

• 26:11Connor Wood?

  This?

• 26:13Brooke Averick?

  No, Quinn, which is this like audio erotica app. And they have, stop making that face.

• 26:19Connor Wood?

  I'm doing Chris Bryny face.

• 26:21Brooke Averick?

  He, they have gotten like such big names like Andrew Scott and Tom Blythe. And now Christopher Bryny is doing one and it's a story about, uh, two brothers that want the same girl. And it's like audio erotica. Does that make sense?

• 26:37Connor Wood?

  Horny.

• 26:38Brooke Averick?

  Like it's very, very, very horny. And I'll be listening to it in my Quinn headphones.

• 26:43Connor Wood?

  I just bought the book, Moby Dick.

• 26:47Brooke Averick?

  Why? Like, why are you doing this to yourself?

• 26:49Connor Wood?

  Because I wanna be, I wanna be reading literature that Ernest Hemingway wrote.

• 26:55Brooke Averick?

  Well, you're gonna be miserable and he didn't write that.

• 26:57Connor Wood?

  I know, but that vibe, like, I wanna be, I wanna be able to have more conversations about Moby Dick.

• 27:01Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Read the spa- I think if you, reading the Spark Notes would be better.

• 27:05Connor Wood?

  No, I wanna hold that old ass huge book about a whale and I wanna, I wanna read it and I wanna digest it.

• 27:11Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 27:12Connor Wood?

  And you know what? That's fiction. That's a fiction book.

• 27:14Brooke Averick?

  It is.

• 27:15Connor Wood?

  What did Moby do?

• 27:19Connor Wood?

  Do not spoil this book for me. I was planning on reading it this week.

• 27:25Connor Wood?

  I do wanna know what happens, though. Wait, can you type in Moby Dick, please?

• 27:29Brooke Averick?

  I need to know what happens.

• 27:31Connor Wood?

  What?

• 27:31Brooke Averick?

  Moby Dick is when they go inside the whale, right?

• 27:33Connor Wood?

  No, Moby Dick was an evil whale, which like you would never expect a whale to be evil. Moby Dick is an 1851 novel by Herman Melville.

• 27:40Brooke Averick?

  His leg.

• 27:42Connor Wood?

  Okay, Captain Ahab's obsessive quest for revenge against a white whale that took his leg set against the backdrop of 19th century whaling. Hmm. It's considered one of the greatest American novels, Brooke. That's

• 27:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 27:58Connor Wood?

  It's notable for its epic scope, so.

• 28:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:03Connor Wood?

  And there's symbolism.

• 28:04Brooke Averick?

  Captain Ahab is a very frequent crossword answer, so I know that. I know about him. I know a pretty good bit about him.

• 28:12Connor Wood?

  Captain Ahab?

• 28:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:15Connor Wood?

  Would you?

• 28:15Brooke Averick?

  Including, but not limited to his name.

• 28:19Connor Wood?

  I was so good in English class about finding symbolism.

• 28:23Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 28:23Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 28:24Brooke Averick?

  I was not.

• 28:25Connor Wood?

  I was so good at being like, "That's a symbol."

• 28:29Connor Wood?

  "Yeah, that's a symbol."

• 28:30Brooke Averick?

  I'm kind of just like, "Just tell me."

• 28:32Connor Wood?

  No, I kind of like reading into things and, and making them a bigger issue than they are.

• 28:36Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I get that. Did you ever have to do marginalia?

• 28:40Connor Wood?

  What's that?

• 28:41Brooke Averick?

  We had to like write all of the possible symbols on the like title page of the book and then write the page number that they all appeared on. So we'd have like our own table of contents in English class. Like in like Catcher in the Rye, every time it was like innocence or like whatever would come up, we would have to catalog each time a theme came up in the front of our book. And it was kind of fun. You had your own table of contents and it was so easy to write papers.

• 29:10Connor Wood?

  Wow, that's really smart.

• 29:11Brooke Averick?

  It was really smart.

• 29:12Connor Wood?

  No, we didn't do that because I went to public school.

• 29:15Brooke Averick?

  I feel like public school can do marginalia too.

• 29:17Connor Wood?

  Public school kind of focuses more on, um, what did we learn?

• 29:24Brooke Averick?

  Alamo.

• 29:24Connor Wood?

  I mean, yeah, we did learn the Alamo. So good to be back in Texas for a second.

• 29:30Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Did your parents come to your show?

• 29:32Connor Wood?

  They did.

• 29:32Brooke Averick?

  Did you love that?

• 29:33Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it was really fun. They stayed in Austin. It's a game day weekend.

• 29:38Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 29:39Connor Wood?

  But I'm back here.

• 29:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 29:40Connor Wood?

  In God's country today.

• 29:42Brooke Averick?

  What will you do this weekend while you're here?

• 29:43Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 29:44Brooke Averick?

  Will I see you?

• 29:45Connor Wood?

  Yeah, probably.

• 29:46Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 29:47Connor Wood?

  I have no plans.

• 29:49Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 29:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 29:51Brooke Averick?

  Maybe we could get a bite to eat.

• 29:54Connor Wood?

  I could eat.

• 29:56Brooke Averick?

  I don't want to. I have food poisoning, so I'm not.

• 29:57Connor Wood?

  I could not eat right now if you had a gun to my back.

• 29:59Brooke Averick?

  I am very sick.

• 30:02Connor Wood?

  It gets better.

• 30:03Brooke Averick?

  I'm reading a book that I would love for you to read and it's kind of like Moby Dick.

• 30:09Connor Wood?

  What's it about?

• 30:09Brooke Averick?

  It's called, it's tough because I can't say one of the words in the title, no matter how hard I try.

• 30:15Connor Wood?

  Marginalia?

• 30:16Brooke Averick?

  No, The House in the Cerulean Sea, but I don't know if cerulean is the right pronunciation.

• 30:21Connor Wood?

  That was the right.

• 30:21Brooke Averick?

  Is it? Um, it is so fabulous. It's about, it's my, it's the bookshelf pick of the month, which is still going on. By the way, guys on Fable, we have a ton of fun over there. Um, it's about this, like, it's fantasy, but not like high fantasy at all, kind of like magical realism. And there's these like magic kids, um, that have to be like registered to the government and they all like live at like their own respective orphanages. And the book is about a caseworker who like goes and makes sure that everything's like up and running at the orphanages. And it's kind of like series of unfortunate events vibes-ish, which I feel like you would like.

• 31:03Connor Wood?

  I love series of unfortunate events.

• 31:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I feel like you would like it. And these kids. Are warming my heart in a way that it's never been warmed before. He Linus, the caseworker, is going to the Cerulean Sea where there's like an orphanage that is like very like classified. No one's really ever heard of it because they're like very-

• 31:24Connor Wood?

  Don't yawn, because I'll yawn.

• 31:26Brooke Averick?

  No, don't yawn. I'm talking about a very interesting book right now.

• 31:29Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 31:30Brooke Averick?

  And they're like very classified magical children because it's like whoa, their powers are so crazy. For example, one of them is the Antichrist and he's a six-year-old little boy who uses a booster seat. His name's Lucy, short for Lucifer. How adorable is that? And then there's this like-

• 31:45Connor Wood?

  What is his power?

• 31:46Brooke Averick?

  He's just the Antichrist.

• 31:48Connor Wood?

  I know, what is his power?

• 31:48Brooke Averick?

  I'm kind of still learning what his power is. It's like so much.

• 31:51Connor Wood?

  I bet he is too.

• 31:53Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, exactly. But like, don't judge a book by its cover. Like, yeah, he's the Antichrist, but he's a kid at the end of the day. And it's very, it's very sweet. And there's also this like little monster blob who just has, his dream is becoming a bellhop. And I cry every time I read about his, his hopes and dreams. He grew up learning that he should be a monster that scares people and hides under the bed. And he learned that he can be so much more and he wants to be a bellhop.

• 32:21Connor Wood?

  And you told me this book is kind of like Moby Dick.

• 32:24Brooke Averick?

  Because there's the ocean.

• 32:30Brooke Averick?

  I just like every time I, I read about Chauncey wanting to be a bellhop, tears.

• 32:36Connor Wood?

  Chauncey's a great name.

• 32:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 32:38Connor Wood?

  Oop. New bump.

• 32:41Brooke Averick?

  I think you might like the book. I'm really enjoying it.

• 32:44Connor Wood?

  Who are you?

• 32:44Brooke Averick?

  It's a cozy book, which is perfect for September.

• 32:47Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, wake me up when September ends.

• 32:50Brooke Averick?

  That is in my Phoebe playlist.

• 32:52Connor Wood?

  Why?

• 32:53Brooke Averick?

  I don't, I don't care. I'll talk about my playlist now too. I can talk about whatever I want now.

• 32:56Connor Wood?

  I don't give a fuck.

• 32:57Brooke Averick?

  I don't give a fuck. It's in my Phoebe playlist. September's a rough month for Phoebe. Is it a rough month or is it the most amazing month? Or can it be both?

• 33:04Connor Wood?

  Porque no las dos.

• 33:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 33:05Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, the mariachi like brought back my Spanish from high school.

• 33:10Brooke Averick?

  Fluent.

• 33:10Connor Wood?

  What the?

• 33:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 33:14Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 33:15Brooke Averick?

  So...

• 33:16Connor Wood?

  No, we have to do questions now.

• 33:17Brooke Averick?

  Let's just get some questions. That's a really cute picture of you.

• 33:22Connor Wood?

  Sorry, narcissist. Um, let's pause the episode.

• 33:26Brooke Averick?

  Just showing me a picture of himself smiling ear to ear.

• 33:31Brooke Averick?

  Wait, oh my god, I didn't mention, when I was having food poisoning in the restroom earlier, that's a very pretty picture of you too Connor. Mr. Fantasy responded to my comment on his latest video. I said, "Happy Friday, Mr. Fantasy," and he said, "Happy Birthday, Brooke." And yes, he does respond to other people, but he doesn't use their full government names like he did mine.

• 33:49Connor Wood?

  Brooke?

• 33:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. He also follows only 11 people and they're all James Franco fan accounts. Which like makes sense for Mr. Fantasy.

• 33:57Connor Wood?

  Okay, here's a question from someone, a listener.

• 33:59Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I love him.

• 34:03Connor Wood?

  KJ App is ripped.

• 34:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. It's insane.

• 34:12Connor Wood?

  I don't like this at all. That was me at the airport this morning.

• 34:14Brooke Averick?

  Mr. Fantasy?

• 34:15Connor Wood?

  I sat in the massage chair. That is what I look like and I fell asleep. Like, had to wake up at 3:30, go to the airport. I fell asleep in the massage chair and I almost missed the flight. Could you imagine I go all the way to the airport at 3:30 in the morning and falls asleep in the massage chair?

• 34:30Brooke Averick?

  I'm in love with Mr. Fantasy. He's so funny.

• 34:35Connor Wood?

  That looks like where we are right now.

• 34:38Brooke Averick?

  But something doesn't make sense about KJ. Like, what, why would someone that looks like you have this kind of personality?

• 34:46Connor Wood?

  Lot of money.

• 34:48Brooke Averick?

  No, like, usually like hot people that are that hot, it's like

• 34:52Brooke Averick?

  less of a personality because they weren't forced to develop one. Like, what happened to him that made him so unique in an amazing way?

• 35:02Brooke Averick?

  He has it all. He's the man who has it all.

• 35:04Connor Wood?

  He's a child.

• 35:06Brooke Averick?

  No, he's, he is younger than us probably.

• 35:08Connor Wood?

  He has a child.

• 35:09Brooke Averick?

  Oh yeah, he's a father.

• 35:11Connor Wood?

  He's a papa.

• 35:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Yeah, how old is KJ? Nice. O-M-G, my birthday is one day after his and he probably knew that when he wished me happy birthday.

• 35:23Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 35:25Brooke Averick?

  I am a year and a, I'm less than, wait. I'm, I'm less than a year older than him. We will be the same age for one day and that will be so hot.

• 35:37Connor Wood?

  Exciting for you.

• 35:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 35:40Connor Wood?

  Is he Australian?

• 35:41Brooke Averick?

  New Zealander.

• 35:42Connor Wood?

  Oh, is he Kiwi? Okay, I'm gonna do some questions from listeners.

• 35:45Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 35:46Connor Wood?

  So, here's the first one. Someone asks, "How do I not feel insecure when?"

• 35:53Connor Wood?

  How do I not feel insecure when my friends are getting married and having kids? And I'm not. Brooke, what is your answer?

• 35:59Brooke Averick?

  The grass is genuinely always greener.

• 36:04Brooke Averick?

  Cause I know that there are people that are having babies and getting married and they're like, I'm jealous of my single friends. Truly.

• 36:15Brooke Averick?

  And I would rather be single for longer in my youth.

• 36:19Brooke Averick?

  And that's the end of the sentence. I'm obviously just convincing myself of this, by the way.

• 36:25Connor Wood?

  Well said. I think that's good.

• 36:28Connor Wood?

  I don't think there's a way to not feel insecure when you're... It depends. I guess it depends on where you live. If you're in the south and literally every single one of your friends is married and has kids, it's just like, why do I feel 11?

• 36:40Brooke Averick?

  It is like, we did get so lucky. My therapist was actually telling me this. That like, we have so many single friends, because that's not typically the case.

• 36:49Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 36:50Brooke Averick?

  Like, none of my friends from home are single, but like, the fact that everyone in LA, or my whole group, your whole group in New York, is single, like, we got so lucky.

• 36:59Connor Wood?

  That's what I'm, it's just, it's location dependent.

• 37:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, because it must be a lonely feeling, and I'm very sorry to the young woman or man experiencing that. Must be horrible. Holy shit.

• 37:08Connor Wood?

  Yikes, I can't imagine.

• 37:14Connor Wood?

  Okay, I don't know why I screenshotted some of these. It's like, that's bad.

• 37:17Brooke Averick?

  I have, I have some too.

• 37:18Connor Wood?

  Okay, go ahead. You do it. You do one.

• 37:21Brooke Averick?

  What's the most unhinged conspiracy theory that you believe?

• 37:24Connor Wood?

  What's yours?

• 37:25Brooke Averick?

  I do believe in the like, active lobotomies for the Nickelodeon and...

• 37:30Connor Wood?

  That's like, so insane, and I know that you keep bringing that up, but you do truly believe that.

• 37:33Brooke Averick?

  I do.

• 37:36Brooke Averick?

  Like, I think it's so sinister. I think that, like, big Disney and big Nickelodeon are so sinister and did something really bad.

• 37:44Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 37:45Brooke Averick?

  Should I say that?

• 37:46Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's fine.

• 37:47Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 37:48Connor Wood?

  Like, Nickelodeon's not gonna come to your house and... I mean...

• 37:51Brooke Averick?

  You literally don't know.

• 37:53Connor Wood?

  But they're not gonna... Like, you're not like...

• 37:55Brooke Averick?

  With Saint Nick.

• 37:56Connor Wood?

  You're not like actively seeking out...

• 37:58Brooke Averick?

  And I'm not saying that it's the current Nickelodeon administration, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that these are things that happened in the past, I think. That's my conspiracy theory that I believe.

• 38:10Connor Wood?

  I'll believe anything anyone says to me at any point. So, if anyone has one, what's a good one that I could believe? Anyone have one? Conspiracy theories?

• 38:22Connor Wood?

  How many people are in this room? Oh, oh my gosh, I forgot there was, okay.

• 38:27Connor Wood?

  Um, I think that there are secrets that the government has that they won't tell us.

• 38:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Like, project, what is that called?

• 38:38Connor Wood?

  Project X.

• 38:39Brooke Averick?

  Is it? Yeah. Okay.

• 38:42Connor Wood?

  Is it weird to date someone with the same first name as your sibling?

• 38:45Brooke Averick?

  Uh, that's, we were talking about this the other day, like, that's a, like, good, he's perfect in every way situation.

• 38:50Connor Wood?

  Oh, wait, we're ready to do this.

• 38:51Brooke Averick?

  If he's perfect in every way, then like, it's fine. It's not ideal.

• 38:56Connor Wood?

  Right.

• 38:56Brooke Averick?

  But it, like, that's not a reason to not move forward with someone.

• 39:01Connor Wood?

  Manager burps all day. I can hear an office away with the door closed. He drinks four Pepsis a day.

• 39:10Brooke Averick?

  And that's it?

• 39:13Connor Wood?

  Like, just unloading on us.

• 39:17Brooke Averick?

  Um, I have actually gotten to a point in my life where I used to feel like so unoffended by burps. And now I'm like, that's kinda gross.

• 39:25Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 39:25Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 39:27Connor Wood?

  I mean, it's not cool, especially, like, it, especially like if you're sitting in a workplace, you're like locked in, and then you hear like a belch from your coworker.

• 39:35Brooke Averick?

  I actually do think like a soda burp is not that gross to me. But like a food burp is disgusting.

• 39:40Connor Wood?

  That's like a belch.

• 39:42Brooke Averick?

  A belch is disgusting.

• 39:43Connor Wood?

  Wow, Brooke, I didn't expect you to ever say that a belch is disgusting.

• 39:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but I don't mind like soda burps, cuz it's like that's from the bubbles. But if it's from like food, that's pretty gross cuz that's the same as a fart, it's just coming out of your mouth.

• 39:55Connor Wood?

  If my boss was farting four times in a row, I would go to HR.

• 39:58Brooke Averick?

  That, see, that's funny.

• 40:01Brooke Averick?

  It's like not funny that he's like burping, but if he was farting all day, that's really funny.

• 40:05Connor Wood?

  Farting all day?

• 40:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 40:10Connor Wood?

  I one time, in my apartment, that didn't even share a wall with the other building, heard someone burp.

• 40:19Connor Wood?

  And there was no, I was in a standalone apartment. Remember the apartment that I had that was over that garage?

• 40:24Brooke Averick?

  How would I know your apartment that was over a garage?

• 40:26Connor Wood?

  Cause you lived here and I lived here.

• 40:29Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that you had. Yeah.

• 40:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 40:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, the one, oh, the one that you lived in, yeah.

• 40:33Connor Wood?

  Oh, the one I lived in with my neighbor who

• 40:35Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 40:36Connor Wood?

  Died.

• 40:36Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 40:37Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 40:38Brooke Averick?

  I thought you were talking about before I moved here.

• 40:39Connor Wood?

  Uh-uh. So I was like a standalone apartment, not touching any walls. The building next door, someone burped in their house and I heard it in my room and I laughed and they said, "Excuse me."

• 40:52Brooke Averick?

  Aww.

• 40:52Connor Wood?

  And we never, ever, ever had any other interaction besides that.

• 40:56Brooke Averick?

  Did you like know what they looked like or what kind of person they were?

• 40:58Connor Wood?

  Mm-mm.

• 40:59Brooke Averick?

  That's cute.

• 41:00Connor Wood?

  But I know that they're a good person based on them apologizing for burping.

• 41:03Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 41:04Connor Wood?

  Or they said, "Excuse me." I was like, "That's very polite."

• 41:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 41:07Connor Wood?

  I would have just not ever acknowledged it. I laughed because I was like, "Was that a burp?" Like...

• 41:12Brooke Averick?

  I just burped.

• 41:13Connor Wood?

  I burped too. Last night,

• 41:17Connor Wood?

  I bent down to talk to this older gentleman and as I bent down, it was like an accordion like pushing out a burp. And it went into the mic. I have it on video. Hang on. It was bad, you guys.

• 41:35Connor Wood?

  I'll get, I'll come down here with nothing. It's like burping. I'm sorry. Tell me about your, like, like, like...

• 41:43Brooke Averick?

  Wait, was that the burp or was that the reenactment of the burp?

• 41:46Connor Wood?

  No, that was a burp, y'all.

• 41:48Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 41:49Connor Wood?

  But that wasn't a belch.

• 41:51Brooke Averick?

  I think I'm struggling to understand the difference.

• 41:56Connor Wood?

  I'm struggling to understand anything at all.

• 42:25Speaker 01

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• 42:54Brooke Averick?

  Okay, what are your four favorite movies?

• 42:58Connor Wood?

  Can I say something really quick?

• 42:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 43:00Connor Wood?

  I'm having one of those days where like I'm about to have a breakdown. Like every, everything is like, I'm so close. I was in Trader Joe's and it was bringing up the most heavy emotional feelings for me. Like I haven't been in a Trader Joe's in so long. Cause I actually actively avoid them now.

• 43:14Brooke Averick?

  Do you think like you're having some sort of like, I miss LA?

• 43:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah. That's why I sent you a Snapchat and said, I don't think I'll ever be happy.

• 43:22Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I, okay, yeah, I was wondering about that.

• 43:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah, but it was also weird. I was walking the two miles to get here. You know, I didn't walk, I didn't pass a single other person.

• 43:32Brooke Averick?

  I know, I didn't know that.

• 43:33Connor Wood?

  No one was walking. And then I was having that feeling like, am I the last person alive?

• 43:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 43:39Connor Wood?

  On earth?

• 43:42Connor Wood?

  Anyways, I'm in Trader Joe's and I was just like overwhelmed. I saw the peanut butter filled pretzel bites and I almost broke down. I almost fell to my knees.

• 43:53Connor Wood?

  Thank God. Thank God. For my turkey sweet potato wrap that I locked eyes with. Because if, if not that, I would have been.

• 44:02Brooke Averick?

  Did you eat that in addition to your salad?

• 44:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I walked here eating it.

• 44:06Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 44:06Connor Wood?

  They're so good and they're always a little bit wet. And that's what I like about it. And everyone's like, you have to eat that up. I'm like, I like that it's wet.

• 44:13Brooke Averick?

  I love a wet. I love one thing, I like soggy things a lot of the time.

• 44:17Connor Wood?

  I love soggy.

• 44:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I love cold food.

• 44:22Connor Wood?

  You do love cold food.

• 44:25Connor Wood?

  But I was having one of those days where here's the top, here's the top couple of things that will make you, on days when you are about to kill yourself, these things happen. One, your wired headphones get caught on the door handle and rip out of your ears. Two, you go to wash your hands and you use the lotion and not the soap.

• 44:44Brooke Averick?

  I do that here a lot.

• 44:45Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Three, you drop your phone in between your, your car console and your seat.

• 44:54Brooke Averick?

  And there's a water bottle rolling around somewhere.

• 44:56Connor Wood?

  I have a roll around.

• 44:57Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:58Connor Wood?

  Oh, damn. That'll be like ended all vibes. It's like, what is going like? That's your rock bottom will happen when you get a divorce, you lose the kids, the market crashes, your house is foreclosed, and then

• 45:14Connor Wood?

  you'll wash your hands with lotion instead of soap. And that is, that is rock bottom.

• 45:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 45:21Brooke Averick?

  But you know, the good thing about rock bottom.

• 45:23Connor Wood?

  It's only up from here.

• 45:26Connor Wood?

  You do have to push through. Like what I was telling the kids the other day. When I was on set this morning, they go, you have a baby, right?

• 45:35Connor Wood?

  I go pardon? You have a newborn?

• 45:37Brooke Averick?

  Who was asking?

• 45:38Connor Wood?

  Pardon? My, um, my wig handler.

• 45:43Brooke Averick?

  Oh, the wig handler?

• 45:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah. He made all the wigs for Hunger Games.

• 45:47Brooke Averick?

  Whoa.

• 45:48Connor Wood?

  And he's making my wig.

• 45:49Brooke Averick?

  Wow. What an honor.

• 45:51Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 45:53Connor Wood?

  Anyways. He was saying, do you have a baby? You have a newborn. I saw you have a newborn. I was like, I don't have a newborn. And he goes, but you're married. I go, no. You're putting a, you're putting a wig on my head right now. I'm not married. I don't have a kid. And then I go, did you guys accidentally hire me?

• 46:11Connor Wood?

  Cause I don't think you got the right guy.

• 46:12Brooke Averick?

  Maybe he liked you.

• 46:14Connor Wood?

  He is married.

• 46:15Brooke Averick?

  Don't matter?

• 46:16Connor Wood?

  It is a speed bump, not a stop sign.

• 46:18Brooke Averick?

  I agree.

• 46:19Connor Wood?

  A lot of people do. A lot of people do.

• 46:21Brooke Averick?

  I don't agree, but I agree that for a lot of people it is.

• 46:26Connor Wood?

  If you found the love of your life married.

• 46:29Brooke Averick?

  I was married or he was married?

• 46:31Connor Wood?

  Both. Both. You're not both. Do both circumstances. They're married. You're married. You're both married.

• 46:40Connor Wood?

  Go.

• 46:40Brooke Averick?

  I mean, I'd love to think that I wouldn't, I would not. I, I really firmly believe with my whole heart and chest that I would never cheat. I really do believe that. That's something that's very firm about.

• 46:54Connor Wood?

  You wouldn't cheat on your lover?

• 46:56Brooke Averick?

  Yes. I would not.

• 46:58Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 47:00Connor Wood?

  But what if the love of your life?

• 47:01Brooke Averick?

  I don't think I, I think I would like be so sick over that unless it was a circumstance where like he was literally like being abused by her. And I would be like, let me take the pain away.

• 47:17Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 47:21Brooke Averick?

  Like if it were a situation where I didn't feel bad, like that would be a situation where I don't feel bad for the other woman, if she's a horrible person.

• 47:29Connor Wood?

  Let me take the pain away?

• 47:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, does that make sense? Stop looking at me.

• 47:34Connor Wood?

  Were you an Advil?

• 47:35Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 47:36Connor Wood?

  What do you, okay.

• 47:37Brooke Averick?

  Like I wouldn't feel bad if she was a bad person.

• 47:40Connor Wood?

  If it was an abusive relationship and you could step in and be like, mama?

• 47:44Brooke Averick?

  Well, not, I don't like when you say it like that. I don't like the way either of us described it, the situation.

• 47:50Connor Wood?

  I'm not understanding, I'm trying to understand.

• 47:51Brooke Averick?

  And I want to go back in time.

• 47:53Connor Wood?

  Okay, go back.

• 47:53Brooke Averick?

  Basically, what I'm trying to say is that if she was a horrible person, then I could maybe convince myself to feel better about it, even though it would still be shitty.

• 48:04Connor Wood?

  That you're a homewrecker?

• 48:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 48:06Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 48:07Brooke Averick?

  And then we're both married.

• 48:08Connor Wood?

  You're homewrecking to a means to an end.

• 48:12Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Obviously, I'm not gonna, if I'm fall in love with a guy and he's married to this, like, sweet woman, I would, I would not touch the situation. But if she's evil, it's like, okay. You snooze, you lose, champ.

• 48:30Connor Wood?

  What is going on in this, is it like weirdly quiet to you guys?

• 48:34Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm very worried about you and the way that you're sweating.

• 48:37Connor Wood?

  I'm drenched.

• 48:41Brooke Averick?

  You want water?

• 48:42Connor Wood?

  No, I'm okay, I'm chugging this one.

• 48:45Connor Wood?

  I did have a moment, you ever have one of those moments where you're like, oh my god, I'm about to pass out?

• 48:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you've had a few.

• 48:50Connor Wood?

  I've had two.

• 48:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I'm worried.

• 48:53Connor Wood?

  No, it's okay, you gotta go to work, you know?

• 48:57Connor Wood?

  La boo boo.

• 49:10Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, champ, what's your four, what are your four favorite movies, champion?

• 49:19Connor Wood?

  Am I sweating so bad that I need to put my hat on?

• 49:21Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god. I can start with mine, is that helpful?

• 49:25Connor Wood?

  Yeah, do it.

• 49:27Brooke Averick?

  We've done this, but maybe they've changed.

• 49:30Connor Wood?

  You listed yours?

• 49:31Brooke Averick?

  I have mine in a list.

• 49:33Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 49:33Brooke Averick?

  Okay, thank you, champion.

• 49:37Brooke Averick?

  Twilight?

• 49:40Brooke Averick?

  Super bad.

• 49:44Brooke Averick?

  Um, sorry, it's a very long list. I'm picking out my top four. Twilight, Superbad, It's Complicated, and, um, The Princess Diaries.

• 49:56Connor Wood?

  I want to watch Princess Diaries.

• 50:02Brooke Averick?

  You love that scene.

• 50:04Connor Wood?

  Is it hot or cold?

• 50:05Brooke Averick?

  Cold, cold.

• 50:09Brooke Averick?

  It's a huge thing of ice cream, of Genovian ice cream.

• 50:12Connor Wood?

  I need to go to Genovia.

• 50:13Brooke Averick?

  The soundtrack of Princess Diaries 2.

• 50:16Connor Wood?

  What is that accent that you're doing?

• 50:19Brooke Averick?

  Just my voice.

• 50:22Brooke Averick?

  The soundtrack of Princess Diaries 2, Breakaway.

• 50:25Connor Wood?

  That's not her voice.

• 50:26Brooke Averick?

  Swear to God, Born With It.

• 50:27Connor Wood?

  The soundtrack of Princess Diaries 2. Why are you doing that?

• 50:34Connor Wood?

  Am I imagining that? Whoa. Okay, go ahead. I'm not under the influence of anything, if anyone's wondering. I'm just so tired.

• 50:42Brooke Averick?

  It's amazing.

• 50:45Brooke Averick?

  Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson was written for it.

• 50:47Connor Wood?

  Really?

• 50:48Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. And Because You Live by Justin McCartney is his most underrated piece. Because you live, girl. My world, you know it? Has twice as many stars.

• 51:01Connor Wood?

  I think Dumb and Dumber has the best soundtrack known to man.

• 51:05Brooke Averick?

  You know I've not seen Dumb and Dumber. Someone said they have misophonia because of the way I sing and talk about Broadway.

• 51:14Connor Wood?

  They've developed misophonia? It sounds like they just don't like the podcast.

• 51:18Brooke Averick?

  They don't like me. They were like, I'm really struggling. My misophonia really acts up when Brooke starts to sing and talk about Broadway.

• 51:26Brooke Averick?

  Like, maybe you just don't like me.

• 51:30Brooke Averick?

  That's not misophonia.

• 51:31Connor Wood?

  I'm burping into the mic and eating my salad.

• 51:34Brooke Averick?

  That was killing me. So now whenever I'm annoying my friends, they'll tell me that their misophonia is acting up.

• 51:41Connor Wood?

  Lordy Judy. Um, someone asked, moved in with, moved in with my best friend and her boyfriend and we all hooked up. Should we tell our fourth friend?

• 51:50Brooke Averick?

  Wait, I'm so sorry.

• 51:52Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 51:52Brooke Averick?

  Wait, what are your favorite movies?

• 51:54Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 51:54Brooke Averick?

  Dumb and Dumber.

• 51:55Connor Wood?

  Titanic, Dumb and Dumber.

• 51:57Brooke Averick?

  Fool's Gold.

• 51:58Connor Wood?

  Fool's Gold, thank you. Um. Lilo and Sitch, OG.

• 52:03Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 52:03Connor Wood?

  No, Fifty First Dates.

• 52:04Brooke Averick?

  Nice.

• 52:06Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 52:07Brooke Averick?

  So I moved, our third friend moved in with us, they all hooked up.

• 52:11Connor Wood?

  Wait, this is 40. I need to swap one of those for this is 40.

• 52:14Brooke Averick?

  Okay, start over.

• 52:15Connor Wood?

  Dumb and Dumber. This is 40, Titanic, Fool's Gold.

• 52:19Brooke Averick?

  We're like about to be 40. And I remember watching that being like, they're so old. And now I'll be 40 like, tomorrow.

• 52:29Connor Wood?

  Happy, happy, bring the mariachi boys back in.

• 52:32Brooke Averick?

  Happy birthday, Brooke, dash Mr. Fantasy.

• 52:34Connor Wood?

  They, they come in, they're, they're all 60, like, we all aged in this studio of 20 years.

• 52:40Brooke Averick?

  Woo. So, the, a couple, a third friend moved in with a couple, they became a truffle.

• 52:47Connor Wood?

  No, they, they're just all hooking up.

• 52:49Brooke Averick?

  Oh, they're, they're one, there weren't a couple to be gone with?

• 52:54Connor Wood?

  There run a couple.

• 52:57Connor Wood?

  They're a hana.

• 52:58Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Should we tell the fourth friend? Yeah.

• 53:02Connor Wood?

  More than married.

• 53:02Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, get in, get in your chump.

• 53:06Connor Wood?

  She was fit.

• 53:07Brooke Averick?

  Get in your chump.

• 53:08Connor Wood?

  Slip and slide right in.

• 53:09Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:11Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I like it, no hesi, yeah, tell the fourth friend.

• 53:13Brooke Averick?

  God, yeah, everyone's invited.

• 53:15Connor Wood?

  Genuinely, yeah, tell the fourth friend.

• 53:19Connor Wood?

  Cause it's, at, at the bare minimum, it's funny. Also.

• 53:25Connor Wood?

  You moved in with your friends and you just started fucking them?

• 53:28Brooke Averick?

  Trying to do.

• 53:30Connor Wood?

  You're allowed to do that.

• 53:31Brooke Averick?

  You are completely allowed to do that if you want.

• 53:35Connor Wood?

  Mm-hmm. Okay, so like, no hesitation, no pause, tell your fourth friend, invite the fourth friend over.

• 53:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:41Connor Wood?

  Maybe make a fifth friend.

• 53:43Brooke Averick?

  Unless you don't want them to join. Or, but like, tell them, cause it's funny.

• 53:48Connor Wood?

  It is funny.

• 53:49Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:50Connor Wood?

  What are you digging for?

• 53:51Brooke Averick?

  My hydro flask.

• 53:52Connor Wood?

  Okay. Isn't new?

• 53:57Connor Wood?

  Rich. Whoa.

• 54:01Brooke Averick?

  Tastes weird.

• 54:03Connor Wood?

  How did I whistle out of my bottom teeth?

• 54:06Connor Wood?

  Wow, you really ca- the book money must be coming in.

• 54:08Brooke Averick?

  I'm extremely rich.

• 54:10Connor Wood?

  New O'Walla.

• 54:11Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I'm extremely rich and my dad's extremely rich too separately.

• 54:20Connor Wood?

  Your rich dad.

• 54:23Connor Wood?

  Wait, why would your dad so rich?

• 54:24Brooke Averick?

  There was a Reddit thread about that too.

• 54:26Connor Wood?

  How did he be, how did he come into all his money?

• 54:27Brooke Averick?

  I don't remember what people said. Wait, did he have a boat or was that something that we would riff off of?

• 54:36Connor Wood?

  No, he had a boat.

• 54:37Brooke Averick?

  Did someone say he had a boat?

• 54:38Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 54:38Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 54:39Connor Wood?

  They were all on his boat.

• 54:40Brooke Averick?

  No, I think we made that up.

• 54:41Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 54:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 54:44Connor Wood?

  Your dad is so rich, okay.

• 54:50Connor Wood?

  What do I? What do I do if my roommate of three years has been copying me to the point of?

• 54:56Brooke Averick?

  Copying?

• 54:57Connor Wood?

  Copying.

• 54:58Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 54:58Connor Wood?

  To the point of food.

• 55:01Brooke Averick?

  Like buy.

• 55:03Brooke Averick?

  It gets to a point.

• 55:06Connor Wood?

  Food is where I draw the line.

• 55:07Brooke Averick?

  Just like buying the same food as you?

• 55:09Connor Wood?

  No, sorry, I don't know.

• 55:12Brooke Averick?

  I think about, I'm kind of self-conscious about that sometimes because I copy Kat a lot. And I'm always like, is she mad at me?

• 55:20Connor Wood?

  What do you copy Kat as?

• 55:21Brooke Averick?

  Like every time Kat buys something, I'm like, I need that. I guess she's just an influencer at her core.

• 55:27Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 55:30Connor Wood?

  Copying has never bothered me. I will be like, you're copying me.

• 55:34Brooke Averick?

  Period.

• 55:34Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 55:35Brooke Averick?

  And that's it.

• 55:35Connor Wood?

  I fear him a skip hop and I'm feel, I fear him a skip and a hop from becoming a fem cell. I don't know where to go from here. What's a fem cell?

• 55:44Brooke Averick?

  I guess an incel, but a girl.

• 55:47Connor Wood?

  I know an incel.

• 55:48Brooke Averick?

  Probably just like someone who's really active on the Reddit snark pages.

• 55:52Connor Wood?

  Eee.

• 55:53Brooke Averick?

  That's what I would imagine a fem cell to be.

• 55:56Connor Wood?

  But like incel is like basement dweller, like troll, right? And so a femcel, who is their target? Cause I think in

• 56:05Brooke Averick?

  I think of like tearing down other women.

• 56:08Connor Wood?

  Interesting, but like incel men, I think incel is like, I didn't know it was gendered. And so

• 56:15Brooke Averick?

  I think it's just implied.

• 56:17Connor Wood?

  That it's a weird man?

• 56:18Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 56:19Connor Wood?

  I didn't know.

• 56:22Brooke Averick?

  Have you ever seen that? Like, it's like a documentary or like a little series on TikTok of like, just like interviewing this guy who identifies as an incel? And he's so scary.

• 56:34Connor Wood?

  Oh, Brooke. The term femcel refers to a subculture of women who feel frustrated and isolated by their inability to find romantic or sexual partner despite their desire for one.

• 56:49Brooke Averick?

  Can't relate.

• 56:51Brooke Averick?

  So.

• 56:54Brooke Averick?

  Cool.

• 56:56Brooke Averick?

  Okay, cool. So what? Why is it, why is that the term?

• 57:03Brooke Averick?

  Oh, female involuntary, female involuntary celibate.

• 57:06Connor Wood?

  Involuntarily celibate, like horny, horny as

• 57:11Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 57:12Connor Wood?

  F.

• 57:14Brooke Averick?

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:15Connor Wood?

  Horny as crud, but unable to do anything about it.

• 57:18Brooke Averick?

  Horny as a chump.

• 57:20Connor Wood?

  Horny as a chump, but rendered absolutely helpless.

• 57:23Brooke Averick?

  Oh, shoot.

• 57:27Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 57:29Connor Wood?

  How to embrace being divorced at 28? After the worst divorce and thinking you found the love of your life. Well, you are, you beat, you beat everyone else. You're 28.

• 57:36Brooke Averick?

  Got that out of the way.

• 57:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah, one down. What's next? Come on, give it to me. How do I shave my back?

• 57:45Brooke Averick?

  You can't.

• 57:48Connor Wood?

  How do you shave your back?

• 57:49Brooke Averick?

  That's like sucks, cause like you need a partner for that, but like if your back is so hairy, how will you get one? Vicious cycle.

• 57:57Connor Wood?

  Oh my God, you gotta hire somebody.

• 58:01Connor Wood?

  You gotta get someone back there.

• 58:02Brooke Averick?

  Not to say that no one will not be, not to say that you can't find a partner with your extremely hairy back. It just might make it more difficult sometimes.

• 58:11Connor Wood?

  Not to say with that forest on your back, you won't find love. There's a chance.

• 58:17Connor Wood?

  Lumberjack. Okay. And.

• 58:23Connor Wood?

  Question.

• 58:24Brooke Averick?

  I have more.

• 58:25Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 58:26Brooke Averick?

  Oh my.

• 58:27Connor Wood?

  If you guys like, I understand if you unsubscribe today.

• 58:32Brooke Averick?

  What has been your worst hyper fixation of all time?

• 58:39Connor Wood?

  I don't hyper fixate.

• 58:40Brooke Averick?

  It's so insane. You must have at least once.

• 58:46Connor Wood?

  What would I hyper fixate on? Have you ever seen me hyper fixate?

• 58:52Connor Wood?

  Hey, don't smile. Don't smirk at me like that.

• 58:54Brooke Averick?

  I'm thinking. Yeah, I have.

• 58:57Connor Wood?

  On what?

• 58:58Brooke Averick?

  Very, very lightly.

• 59:00Connor Wood?

  What?

• 59:00Brooke Averick?

  Like some comedians, you'll have like a brief, like dalliance with.

• 59:05Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I can actually think of, I can actually think of.

• 59:09Brooke Averick?

  Share it with us.

• 59:10Connor Wood?

  No, I can't share it, but you know.

• 59:12Brooke Averick?

  How about you start to think about sharing it?

• 59:16Connor Wood?

  No.

• 59:16Brooke Averick?

  Is it a comedian?

• 59:17Connor Wood?

  No.

• 59:18Brooke Averick?

  Is it a person?

• 59:19Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 59:21Brooke Averick?

  Have they been on this podcast?

• 59:22Connor Wood?

  No.

• 59:24Brooke Averick?

  Just tell us, who gives a fuck?

• 59:26Connor Wood?

  No, I don't want to.

• 59:27Brooke Averick?

  Connor.

• 59:27Connor Wood?

  I'll tell you after.

• 59:28Brooke Averick?

  Connor. Mine is, was probably, I think, I guess Glee, because that was more like, like extreme mental, like very ill sick. In a way that I like was starting to like, reality was bending, the lines were blurring. I was like, if I'm not in Glee, like if I am not like accepted to the Glee project, like there will be no point.

• 59:54Connor Wood?

  In living?

• 59:55Brooke Averick?

  In living. Like, they were like real to me. Like Rachel Barry was like a real person.

• 1:00:00Connor Wood?

  There's stuff, like it's, there's a whole nother world out there that I am not a part of. Glee never even came across my desk. I don't even think I knew about it until.

• 1:00:07Brooke Averick?

  That is so insane. Glee, and then it trickled for me, Glee, because then with Glee, Glee started, Jonathan came from that, and then really like all Broadway, that's like when I started obsessing over it. And there were so many trickles, then there was like Star Kid, which is Darren Criss, and then, so I was just like, it was like a beautiful tree of life and knowledge.

• 1:00:28Connor Wood?

  That girl's misophonia is like ringing.

• 1:00:30Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god, she is like ringing.

• 1:00:32Connor Wood?

  That poor girl.

• 1:00:34Brooke Averick?

  The bells.

• 1:00:35Connor Wood?

  Her ears are bleeding.

• 1:00:37Brooke Averick?

  Poor, poor.

• 1:00:38Connor Wood?

  She's on the ground writhing in pain.

• 1:00:40Brooke Averick?

  Poor chum.

• 1:00:40Connor Wood?

  You stop talking, she's like, oh my god, I'm fine.

• 1:00:45Connor Wood?

  She's back on the ground. She's rolling around, she fell down the stairs.

• 1:00:53Brooke Averick?

  Okay, let's just...

• 1:00:54Connor Wood?

  Thank you guys for listening.

• 1:00:56Brooke Averick?

  So sorry.

• 1:00:57Connor Wood?

  Guys, we have to deal with something really important.

• 1:01:00Brooke Averick?

  Do you think you're sick?

• 1:01:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:02Brooke Averick?

  Okay, we'll talk about it in the bonus.

• 1:01:05Connor Wood?

  Okay, I'm sure everyone's really excited to hear us talk about how I'm sick in the bonus, and we will see you there. Thanks for listening, sorry.

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