#198 - Nikki Glaser and JP McDade

Nikki Glaser and JP McDade join the pod to discuss Nikki’s first memory of her mom, how she’s a much more glamorous employer of JP than Stavvy Baby Enterprises, the obsessive tendency to keep working, asking her parents mortifying questions about their sexual pasts for a lie detector test, how self-help books are a scam, and much more. Nikki, JP and Stav help callers including a woman who made an older woman in her GLP-1 support group cry with shame after scolding her for her love of AI, and a guy who wants to know how he can avoid going to the strip club at his buddy’s bachelor party without mucking up the vibes or getting clowned. See Nikki Glaser live and follow her on social media: https://nikkiglaser.com/ https://www.instagram.com/nikkiglaser/ https://www.facebook.com/OfficialNikkiGlaser https://www.youtube.com/@NikkiGlaserOfficial https://www.tiktok.com/@nikkiglaser https://www.patreon.com/cw/NikkiGlaser Follow JP McDade on social media: https://twitter.com/jp_mcdade https://www.instagram.com/mcdadebaby Thanks to our sponsors!! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wyx330el #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N. A., pursuant to a license from Visa U. S. A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎤 Watch Stav's new special Uncle Stav on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/82055929 ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld 🎟️ See Stavvy live!! 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hey Richmond, Mark Smith, Midas Richmond, 2026. We have been doing what we do for 29 years. Total car care, total community care. In 2026, we are donating $365,000. A thousand dollars a day to the nonprofits we've historically supported. Gooch and Care, Shalom Farms, St. Joseph's Villa, Ask, the Colonial Heights Food Pantry, everybody we've helped over the years. These are important things making a big impact in our society right now. Total car care, total community care, that is Midas of Richmond.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  With the power and endurance of Toyota trucks, you can go to the most incredible places like this valley where the Echo does different voices.

• 0:37Speaker 02

  Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. We know what we're made of, Toyota trucks.

• 0:45Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa. Welcome, everybody, to Stavvy's World. 904-800-STOP. Call in on the visible hotline. We'll solve all your problems. And today on the couch, very happy to have my pals, Nikki Glaser and JP McDade. How we doing? Nikki's first appearance on the pod.

• 1:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, longtime listener.

• 1:05Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you so much.

• 1:06Speaker 04

  First time.

• 1:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07Speaker 05

  Summer calling it the biggest episode of McDade's Maniacs of all.

• 1:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah. This is, you know what we're gonna call this? McDade's Maniacs.

• 1:13Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:14Stavros Halkias?

  Because we have a Patreon sub-series. Let me tell you something, McDade, this one's gonna make the free one.

• 1:21Speaker 05

  You don't say.

• 1:23Stavros Halkias?

  JP is really like, we keep him chained up on the Patreon.

• 1:27Speaker 05

  I haven't seen the light in months.

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  We're letting JP out of the sub-basement to just, you know.

• 1:35Speaker 05

  I have a shock collar on right now.

• 1:36Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get used to it. You're going right underneath, you're going right back to the sewers once Nikki's gone.

• 1:41Speaker 05

  On the tour bus, he puts me in the storage unit down below.

• 1:45Stavros Halkias?

  But it felt appropriate to have McDade here. I do, you know, I feel like when McDade isn't part of Stavvy Baby Enterprises, he's with Glaser Co.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. We work a lot together.

• 1:55Stavros Halkias?

  We kind of have point custody of McDade.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:57Speaker 05

  Come on loan.

• 1:58Speaker 04

  Whose house do you like better? You have to pick one.

• 2:02Speaker 05

  The judge is making me choose.

• 2:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's the clearest answer of all time. Nikki gave you a fucking Rolex. I got you like a tracksuit one time.

• 2:14Speaker 05

  I think I got a, I think I got a Fat Rascal tour t-shirt.

• 2:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get 20% off at the Stavvy's World store.

• 2:23Speaker 04

  Still gotta pay for your own Patreon.

• 2:25Speaker 05

  Like I work at the Ford plant in like the Great Depression or something. It's like working for Stavvy Baby Enterprises.

• 2:30Stavros Halkias?

  100%, 100%. No, I do not begrudge you at all for choosing, living at Nikki's house over living over here.

• 2:36Speaker 05

  Stav's a burgeoning union leader. We all know that. Labor rights.

• 2:40Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't say the U-word around Eldis.

• 2:44Speaker 05

  That's true. I'm sorry.

• 2:45Speaker 04

  No, you're good to work for. People like working for you.

• 2:48Stavros Halkias?

  It is. Yes, I do. I feel like, what's the point of getting rich if you can't help your friends?

• 2:53Speaker 04

  Exactly. That's how I feel. It's the best part.

• 2:55Stavros Halkias?

  It's the, it's.

• 2:56Speaker 04

  It really is.

• 2:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's truly the best part. And I joke about all the time, yes, is Eldis as good at his job as his paycheck would connote? No, not at all. But I'm, it makes me smile knowing that he's not on the streets fending for himself. That his soon, his child will have formula.

• 3:15Speaker 05

  It is a cost consolidation move where it's like combining a podcast producer and a pet.

• 3:22Speaker 05

  Like a pure breed Loser Opso who can like turn on the mics.

• 3:27Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 3:28Speaker 06

  I'm in the stowaway under the bus with JP.

• 3:30Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 3:31Speaker 06

  Stay on your own side.

• 3:32Stavros Halkias?

  But you've made it very comfortable. You have a little fucker, you have like a hot plate.

• 3:36Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's got, yeah, yeah.

• 3:37Speaker 06

  You have to have a sleeping, sleeping bag.

• 3:39Speaker 05

  I rest my head on Eldis's stomach. I'm like, this doesn't mean I like you.

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  No, it is, it is, it is awesome.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  It's Eldis or not?

• 3:49Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought it was Eldis.

• 3:51Stavros Halkias?

  Have you ever, have you ever met any Albanians? Do you have any run-ins?

• 3:54Speaker 04

  I don't think so. No, no.

• 3:56Speaker 05

  As far as I know, he's the only Eldis that we've ever come across.

• 3:59Stavros Halkias?

  Well, we've talked about it before. His name, he is named after two women. He's named after El Myra and Yaldis.

• 4:06Speaker 06

  That's right. My mom's name and my grandma's name.

• 4:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's beautiful.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  Have you ever met another Eldis?

• 4:12Speaker 06

  No, I haven't. I think, I think it might be like a Nordic name or something. I've searched it on Facebook before, like a long time ago.

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  Trying to.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, trying to find.

• 4:22Speaker 06

  Swedish people or something. I don't know.

• 4:24Stavros Halkias?

  No other Eldises? No, I guess not a lot of, not a huge Albanian community in Missouri?

• 4:29Speaker 04

  No, Stavs.

• 4:30Stavros Halkias?

  Huh?

• 4:31Speaker 04

  Stavs? Like, do you meet a lot of Stavroses?

• 4:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, but it is, it's at least like a, it's like.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  It's, people know it.

• 4:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's not like a top common Greek name, but it's like, you know, it's like a kind of rare, but you know, like, I don't know, the equivalent of what's like, I don't know, somebody named like fucking Gregory or some shit. Not even that. Something more rare. I can't come up with.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  Brandon.

• 4:50Stavros Halkias?

  Brandon's Brendan, let's say.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  Brendan.

• 4:52Stavros Halkias?

  Brendan's a little, you know what I mean?

• 4:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little off.

• 4:55Speaker 05

  The Thieving Man's Brendan.

• 4:58Stavros Halkias?

  I know. It's Brendan, yeah, Brendan, Brendan. A lot of, little fucking variations on the name. But yeah, so I've met plenty of Greek. And then there's also like, I think like Russians, there's like Gustavs.

• 5:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:12Stavros Halkias?

  That go by Stav. And then I think it's all, I think it's also randomly like a hot, like Israeli girl name also.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  Oh, I can see that.

• 5:20Stavros Halkias?

  There's been like Stavs and there, and it's just like some like, you know, like a, like a, like a tan girl with huge tits or something. The IDF.

• 5:27Speaker 04

  There's some ugly girls named Stav, but we just don't know about them. I mean.

• 5:31Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 5:32Speaker 04

  A guy's name on a girl only works if she's hot. And it, and it works so well.

• 5:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man. Like a hot Stevie.

• 5:38Speaker 05

  You know how hot Derek had to be?

• 5:40Speaker 04

  Bobby.

• 5:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, a hot Bobby. Are you kidding me?

• 5:44Speaker 04

  Bobby is so good.

• 5:44Stavros Halkias?

  You're so, you're so right.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, they can pull it off.

• 5:46Stavros Halkias?

  How do you feel about Nikki? Were you ever mad at it? Is it, is like the birth name Nicole?

• 5:51Speaker 04

  Um, yeah, birth name's Nicole, but I never went by it. It was like my mom was like, just in case you ever want to have like a real job. And so she always thought I was gonna transition out of it. But yeah, but I never, um, yeah, I never went by anything else. And it's, you meet Nikki and it's instantly like, how do you spell it? Because there's lots of different, and we really do like judge the others. Like an N-I-K-I is like a different, and an N-I-C-K-Y.

• 6:13Stavros Halkias?

  N-I-C-K-Y, yeah, that's.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  It's more of the boy spelling. N-I-Q-U-E.

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's an Italian guy, Nikki.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. N-I-C-K-Y.

• 6:22Speaker 05

  Nikki Glaserino.

• 6:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Oh, Nikki Glaserino.

• 6:26Speaker 04

  But I feel like people are their name. Like I just feel like I'm a Nick. I've never met a Nikki who's like a piece of shit.

• 6:31Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  Like, I just feel like it's.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  Nominative determinism, I believe.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Yes. And it really does happen. What you name your kid, they kind of turn into.

• 6:40Stavros Halkias?

  100%. Although, isn't there some, I don't even know if this is true, but like I just remember in college, a professor being like, you know, there was a family and they named one son Winner and one son Loser.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  And Winner was in jail and Loser, but Loser went by Lou, which to me feels like a cop out.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  What is this experiment?

• 6:56Stavros Halkias?

  I don't even know if it's true or if like some charlatan that was teaching like part-time at University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

• 7:03Speaker 05

  That's what your tuition went towards?

• 7:06Stavros Halkias?

  This is a calculus class. Just some guy filling time.

• 7:11Speaker 05

  He's having a stroke.

• 7:11Speaker 04

  But loser overcame.

• 7:13Stavros Halkias?

  Loser overcame and he went by Lou and he became like a police sergeant. That's what I thought. Like, this sounds fake because this sounds like a dumb person's more ASAP's fable. Where it's like Winner was in jail, loser was the cop who locked him up. You know what I mean? It's like, that's not fucking true. Look that up, Eldis. Look up fucking, look, in case, you know, God forbid you have some instincts and we're already doing it. Let's just look it up. But yeah, I know what you mean. Like you sort of, I really got, I felt, I really feel like my name is Stavros. You know what I mean?

• 7:46Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 7:47Stavros Halkias?

  I really feel like it was so, and I have a buddy who was named Stavros who went by Steve. And I think his life would have been so different if he stuck with Stavros, you know? And he was a little younger than me. Like, we grew up in the same neighborhood. We went to the same elementary school. So I already paved the way, in my opinion.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:07Stavros Halkias?

  Because I did have, my teacher did try and get me to be Steve. And I was like, I'm, it's not my name, you fucking bitch. My name is, and that's where Stav came. It became like the, the compromise.

• 8:16Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 8:17Stavros Halkias?

  But still, it pissed me. I like, I'm proud of myself as a little boy.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  Standing up for my.

• 8:21Speaker 04

  Well, you had a unique name, not for Greece, but for here. That got you a lot of attention, probably inspired the fact that you maybe like attention, that you like originality and like.

• 8:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're so right. It just goes from there.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:34Stavros Halkias?

  JP, what about you, man? You went from, you decided to go, you were like, I don't even want a name. I want two letters.

• 8:44Speaker 05

  It was gonna be even worse. It was gonna be, I was gonna be Connor. Like my mom was pregnant with me and like Connor was it.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  Wait, you kind of look like a Connor.

• 8:50Speaker 05

  I know, right?

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  You do look like a Connor.

• 8:54Speaker 05

  Fuck.

• 8:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  No, Connor's a cool guy's name.

• 8:56Speaker 05

  It's coming around.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  It's kind of a date rapey vibe. Like it's kind of coming out of that thing.

• 9:02Stavros Halkias?

  I would say we could take date off that. Just pure rape.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  He feeds him before. Yeah.

• 9:11Stavros Halkias?

  When did you, when did you decide, let's go JP?

• 9:14Speaker 05

  I never decided.

• 9:15Stavros Halkias?

  Always decided for you?

• 9:16Speaker 05

  It was decided for me because like I was gonna be Connor. My grandpa was like, so when's Jimmy the third coming? Because his, he was James Patrick. My dad's James Patrick. And then I was like, all right, we kind of got to do it now. And they were like, but there are too many Jimmies in the mix. So I just had to be JP.

• 9:28Stavros Halkias?

  You know what's so funny? You're not Jimmy.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  No, not at all.

• 9:32Speaker 05

  That would be the divergence. Like if I was born Jimmy and raised Jimmy, how different?

• 9:36Stavros Halkias?

  You'd still be drinking.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  You'd be different.

• 9:38Stavros Halkias?

  You would still be drinking for sure.

• 9:40Speaker 05

  I'd be robbing trucks.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  You'd be 5'10".

• 9:45Speaker 05

  I'd have greased back hair.

• 9:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man.

• 9:47Speaker 05

  I'd be snapping my fingers.

• 9:48Stavros Halkias?

  Jimmy McDade is an awesome, like Jimmy McDade is, sounds cool.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  It's kind of cool.

• 9:52Stavros Halkias?

  No disrespect. That's not, you are cool. That's not the cool you are.

• 9:56Speaker 05

  No, JP, JP's a little bit soft.

• 9:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Understand, like soft spoken, but still fucking, you know, you really.

• 10:03Speaker 05

  Like JP Morgan, is that it?

• 10:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's a really cool JP as well.

• 10:08Speaker 05

  Guy who became a trillionaire and died penniless in an apartment.

• 10:11Stavros Halkias?

  He died penniless.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 10:12Speaker 05

  He lost it all.

• 10:13Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 10:14Speaker 05

  And people still take financial advice from him.

• 10:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's the first time I've ever respected JP, uh, JP Morgan.

• 10:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:20Stavros Halkias?

  Before I thought he was just like a horrible robber baron, but the fact that he blew, to get that rich and blow the money is kinda awesome.

• 10:25Speaker 05

  He bailed out the US government and then wound up dying broke.

• 10:28Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, that's not cool.

• 10:30Speaker 05

  He balled out harder than anyone ever.

• 10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, wait, wait. He didn't get, it wasn't drugs and like, like prostitutes?

• 10:35Speaker 05

  I mean, that's, think about how much hookers and blow that is. If you have like a billion dollars in 1929.

• 10:40Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome. Holy shit. But, so, but it was just from bailing out the government?

• 10:43Speaker 05

  I think part of it, and then like at some point, they, well, they stopped letting him do monopolies.

• 10:48Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, right, right, right.

• 10:50Speaker 05

  They took the beautiful monopoly.

• 10:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:52Speaker 05

  I thought it was a free country.

• 10:54Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, yeah.

• 10:54Speaker 04

  Did you look into all this because his name's JP or would you just know anyway?

• 10:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, yeah.

• 10:59Speaker 05

  I got called out recently by my mom, my girlfriend for, uh, for loving factoids.

• 11:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 05

  You got me.

• 11:05Stavros Halkias?

  You are a factoid guy. You, uh, it's alright, that's okay.

• 11:09Speaker 05

  Love a fucking fun fact.

• 11:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, I do too.

• 11:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. The two women in your life that you love the most were like, here's actually a thing we don't fucking like about you. And we agree.

• 11:20Speaker 05

  Crushed me the whole time. Since I was a kid, my mom was making fun of me.

• 11:24Stavros Halkias?

  You get roasted by her?

• 11:25Speaker 05

  Cause your mom is fun and like a hoot. Did she like make fun of you for something?

• 11:29Speaker 04

  Not make fun of it. It was mostly just like, Jesus Christ, just like, what's wrong with you? Why are you like the way that you are?

• 11:36Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  You, there's something, there's something wrong with you.

• 11:39Stavros Halkias?

  Which is way worse than getting roasted.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  It really is. Just a disgust and confusion.

• 11:43Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly, exactly. I am, I can't, I have so much contempt for you. I can't even put it in the, in a fun context.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  No.

• 11:50Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm just like, I, this is, huh, so you're my kid. You know what I mean? Like that.

• 11:55Speaker 04

  Fuck is wrong with you? Just like, and, and I remember, I, my mom is like my best friend now, but I remember, and she's so cool. And I think this is actually kinda cool.

• 12:04Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  I, one of my, my literal first memory that I can remember, and, cause it was in our first house, I remember exactly where I was. I was screaming at my mom, throwing a tantrum about something. I must've been four or five.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  And I ran out in the front yard and she's on, on the, the porch and I go, I hate you! And she just leans over, grabs onto the railing and goes, you know what, Nick? I hate you too.

• 12:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh! That's your first memory? Your mom's saying she hates you?

• 12:30Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 12:31Speaker 05

  Smash cut. The Beacon Theater.

• 12:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:35Speaker 04

  It was wild because my, I remember the thought was, you can't say that. Like, we know the rules of, like-

• 12:42Stavros Halkias?

  This is my secret weapon.

• 12:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  I can hit you with a low blow and you can't.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  And, and the, you know what? I hate, and it was just, I couldn't, and also that she just like used my insult. I'm like, come up with your own. Like, there was a lot going on in my mind of like, how could, you're not allowed to say that.

• 12:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're the mom.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  I know she didn't mean it and she was just in the moment, which is very, you know, I'm very similar to her, just saying things when you're angry, screaming. I went and saw that, did you see the invite?

• 13:06Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't seen it.

• 13:07Speaker 05

  I heard it was great.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  It's great, but it's, if you grew up in a household with a lot of yelling, it's quite-

• 13:11Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's, it has, it has another element, cause I do feel like you, you know, famously talked about wanting your partner to fuck other girls.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:20Stavros Halkias?

  So, so it has, it's not only yelling, but it's also like swinging.

• 13:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a big, and it's so hot. Like, um, Penelope Cruz and Edward Norton are so good.

• 13:30Stavros Halkias?

  She's out of control. It's like, first of all, Seth Rogen, what, I mean, the idea that he's married to one of them and gets to fuck the other one? Oh, respect.

• 13:39Speaker 05

  We know who wrote this.

• 13:40Stavros Halkias?

  He really made it out of the fat guy comedy slums. You know, like, imagine if in 20 years, I'm in a movie with like two of the hottest women of all time and they both fuck me?

• 13:49Speaker 04

  You obviously will have that.

• 13:51Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think-

• 13:52Speaker 04

  Yes, you will. He didn't even question it. I have to say, watching it, you don't even go, this doesn't make sense.

• 13:56Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  There's an aura.

• 13:58Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:59Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, I'll take it.

• 14:00Speaker 04

  He's got it. You've got, you know you've got it. I remember-

• 14:01Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I could do it in real life. I'm just saying, I would don't know that they would cast me for that.

• 14:06Speaker 04

  Right, right, right.

• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

  I think I could fuck two hot girls.

• 14:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 14:08Stavros Halkias?

  No problem. But I just mean, I just mean like, would they craft a movie around me being the guy who gets to fuck both of them? I don't think so.

• 14:16Speaker 05

  The question is, would it be rage bait or not?

• 14:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's true, that's true. That is true.

• 14:21Speaker 05

  I feel like it plays. I feel like it works.

• 14:22Stavros Halkias?

  I could be, yeah, I could be used to, I could be used as a pawn to anger men if they wanted to.

• 14:27Speaker 04

  Oh my god, yeah.

• 14:28Stavros Halkias?

  You could argue that is what's happening.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:30Stavros Halkias?

  There might be somebody in the CIA that's like, let's make that fat bald guy famous. That'll keep pissing people off. Yeah, that, it might be, I, hey, that would explain it as much as, that's the best explanation I've heard for my run the last couple of years, if I'm being honest. It's a psy-op to piss off like-

• 14:44Speaker 04

  Do you question it sometimes of like what, but you get that you have riz?

• 14:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, no.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  Like, obviously.

• 14:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's not, I don't question, I think, I think what's going on frankly with all of our industry, like, both of our careers are better than we deserve. No disrespect. You're awesome, but it's like, we don't, we shouldn't be this famous.

• 15:04Speaker 04

  No.

• 15:04Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy. We should be living really good lives and have money and like, you know, have whatever.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  And I was honestly fine with that.

• 15:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 04

  It kind of hap, just happens to you. It's, I never thought I deserved any of this and I still don't.

• 15:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I don't either.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  I was never someone that was like, I want that. How come I, I didn't get that? And, and pouting about other people getting things? I mean, it was more like self-flagellation of why am I not good enough for that, but never like, why didn't I get that?

• 15:29Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  And so when you get it, it's like, it's imposter syndrome all day long.

• 15:33Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. And so much of my identity was like, these motherf- how dare, like, it was like, it was like, I, I am good enough, they just don't see it? Ah, fuck you. But then you get it, you're like, ah.

• 15:43Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. I never had that.

• 15:45Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't actually believe it. But it wasn't like, I didn't even believe it. It was just the kinda thing that kept you going.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 15:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cause when you, like, for example, uh, like, when I lost a Marvel audition to Zach Cherry, I didn't question that. He's a better actor. You know what I mean? Like, but at the time, before, before you see who gets to things, you're like,

• 16:03Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:03Stavros Halkias?

  I could fuck it. And then it's like, it's, it's just very, it is fucking bizarre, uh, that this, you know, that this shit has happened.

• 16:10Speaker 05

  Well, the other half of that is like, if you do get something, you're like, well, this can't be that good of a thing because I got it.

• 16:15Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  Yes. And then, I always do that. Well, they're, they're, this is actually not as popular.

• 16:20Stavros Halkias?

  The Golden Globes in the toilet.

• 16:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, totally. I mean-

• 16:23Stavros Halkias?

  Even though you guys literally revived it for real. It was like, they like basically sent out a newsletter four years ago. It was like, they didn't even fucking put it on TV.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  That's how I ended up hosting. Who the fuck wants to do that? Anyone? Really? They couldn't find anyone?

• 16:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, right, Joe Coy ate his nuts. That's so right. I forgot about that.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  And, and no one blamed him.

• 16:44Stavros Halkias?

  No, well, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  But it really was like, it's the, it's the show. It's like a hard thing to do and no one wants, but I understand it. Thank god I like doing things that are live and in the moment because-

• 16:55Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you're, you're crushing it so good.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  But it's, cause no one else wants to fucking do it. That's, that's why I just found something-

• 17:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's a bunch of hot, famous people eating dinner and you wanna perform for them?

• 17:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's hell.

• 17:04Stavros Halkias?

  The room is, I mean, the gig seems like, as a gig, having stand-up comic brain?

• 17:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:09Stavros Halkias?

  And seeing everything as a gig? Hell, gig.

• 17:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 17:13Stavros Halkias?

  Although I was pissed I couldn't fucking, uh, uh, like, I, I, they couldn't, they didn't get me into the Golden Globes when Begonia was there. It's like, my friend is hosting and my other, and, and the half the staff is people I'm friends with. I was like, that would've been incredible, but what are you gonna do? Hopefully you guys, you guys are running it back one more time?

• 17:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, one more time.

• 17:32Stavros Halkias?

  Tony, come on, let's get Tony on there.

• 17:33Speaker 04

  You're gonna be there.

• 17:34Stavros Halkias?

  Let's get Tony on there.

• 17:35Speaker 04

  And you call me if they don't make room for you at the table. That's ins, like, you, that's what I don't understand. Why not have funny people who, by the way, would have a great reaction shot, you'd be a meme after that of the night?

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  Me sitting next to the most beautiful people in the world?

• 17:49Speaker 04

  It's awesome.

• 17:49Stavros Halkias?

  With my hair in a ponytail?

• 17:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 17:51Stavros Halkias?

  People are like, where the fuck is that guy? You know? Who's that? But anyway, what are you gonna, I was very happy to even be in Begonia, but it, it just was, I, that was my argument. It was like, guys, this is funny. People will react to this so much more than they will like just-

• 18:06Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 18:07Stavros Halkias?

  The reg, like people regularly being there.

• 18:09Speaker 04

  Or even like presenting. They don't have enough comedians like presenting at award shows. And it's like, why aren't you using these people that make things, boring things entertaining?

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  And, and speaking of Zach, I pitched the bit, I pitched to JP, cause like Zach's on, you know, Zach's in Carbo Actor, he's on one of the best shows, Severance. And when I thought I might be there, I pitched a bit where me and, me and Zach were gonna complain that Jacob Elordi was Frankenstein? And be like, we're yelling the hottest guy of all time, be the most fucked up looking monster. The fuck is this? And just like, just have an arg, just kinda go through like little fat guys.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  That would be so good.

• 18:44Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, that's what we lost. That's what we lost. Next time, next time.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  And it's crazy that Frankenstein was still fucking hot. Like, he, he, it came through.

• 18:51Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, he, he was both the monster, but yeah, I mean, when you get Jacob Elordi and you're kinda like, damn, I kinda wanna watch him and Mia Goth's character fuck.

• 18:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:58Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? You're like, this would be awesome. And fucking Oscar Isaac beating his shit in the corner or something. Which he wa, yeah, he was jealous, right?

• 19:06Speaker 05

  That's what the invite two is about, actually, yeah. Frankenstein talks. Doctor Frankenstein.

• 19:11Stavros Halkias?

  Me want your wife's pussy.

• 19:15Stavros Halkias?

  Put your keys in the bowl.

• 19:20Stavros Halkias?

  Football season is back, which means plenty of excuses to get people together, put a game on and make a whole day out of it. We're ready to watch the games here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. The office is finally fitted out. We have a disgustingly large television. We have big ass power recliners. And of course, a fridge fully stocked with that delicious beverage, Twisted Tea. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol per volume. It tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea and it's full of flavor and refreshing. The Twisted Tea Party Pack has original half and half peach and raspberry, so there's a few different little options for you. And it's not carbonated, so it goes down oh so smooth.

• 20:04Stavros Halkias?

  On game day, you got wings, you got pizza, you got nachos. You can't slow yourself down with that pesky carbonation. Ah, twisted tea. What a, what a wonderful elixir. Twisted tea, remember, keep it twisted. Grab a refreshing twisted tea today. Must be 21 plus. Please drink responsibly. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavvy Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon.

• 20:45Stavros Halkias?

  It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stavvy's World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV. Terms apply. Yeah, dude, that, uh, but you know, whatever, we'll get, and I should say-

• 21:12Speaker 04

  Did you just do late night?

• 21:13Stavros Halkias?

  I did Seth Meyers.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  How was that?

• 21:14Stavros Halkias?

  I loved it. He's the man.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  He's the best, isn't he?

• 21:16Stavros Halkias?

  He's so fucking funny. And at the end, I was like, come on, Stavvy's World. And he was like, I will. So fingers crossed, Seth.

• 21:22Speaker 04

  Oh, it'd be great, yeah.

• 21:23Speaker 05

  I'm a need for a best vibe general in the, uh, last culture.

• 21:27Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. He always gets the best vibe.

• 21:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  Like, not me.

• 21:30Stavros Halkias?

  He, he really, and by the way, against all odds, you know what I mean? Like, you should, like, a guy who's just, like, on SNL and then, like, decides to take the, the late night spot, when as late, you know, like, late night, it ain't what it used to be. He could, you could really have a bad attitude hosting that show if you wanted to and be like, fuck, man. But he, like, it's the most, it was, and the most, like, I felt you could be funny on a show.

• 21:54Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 21:55Stavros Halkias?

  Like, they, they literally ask you to have bits prepared.

• 21:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  And I, I fucking love doing it. I really, I honestly do, I kinda, I'm sad talk shows are dead because I do love, I, I had a blast doing it.

• 22:07Speaker 04

  It's fun.

• 22:08Stavros Halkias?

  You know? I mean, what, I'm saying talk shows are dead. Look what we've created.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:11Stavros Halkias?

  We're literally on a set with fucking lights, like, as we're doing a talk show.

• 22:15Speaker 04

  You're the reason they're dead, actually.

• 22:18Stavros Halkias?

  Why are talk shows dead? It's the Eric Andre meme. We're all looking for the guy who did it, or the hot dog guy.

• 22:24Speaker 05

  There's a studio audience of 200 people sitting silently just off camera.

• 22:29Stavros Halkias?

  We really should do a fucking live, we should do a live show where instead of, like, trying to recreate a shitty podcast, because that's what most live shows are.

• 22:36Speaker 05

  Rosie O'Donnell, cruce balls.

• 22:37Stavros Halkias?

  I fucking hate when it's, yeah, when it's like, just the podcast you like to listen to with shittier audio quality and them doing bits in the room.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  Oh, it's awful.

• 22:46Stavros Halkias?

  It sucks. But if we did like a, like, we did it like a late night show, that would be really fun. We come out, I'm in a fucking suit, you're, you're like at the announcer's lectern. All right.

• 22:57Speaker 05

  Steve Higgins lectern, yeah.

• 22:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, put it on, put it on your notes. And by the way, anytime you want to chime in with that winner and loser fucking anecdote, you piece of shit, did you even look it up?

• 23:06Speaker 06

  I did, and it was pretty much exactly as you guys said it. And the anecdote was popularized by the guy that wrote Freakonomics.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. I think those have all been debunked.

• 23:17Stavros Halkias?

  What, what an era of, like, complete bullshit books. Between him, what was the other guy who was on Epstein's Island?

• 23:23Speaker 04

  Yes. Yes, Malcolm Gladwell.

• 23:25Stavros Halkias?

  Malcolm Gladwell.

• 23:26Speaker 04

  I still talk about 10,000 Hours though. It's like embedded, it's-

• 23:29Stavros Halkias?

  But it's just like, no shit. If you do something a lot, you get good at it? You wrote a fucking book about that? You wrote for 400 pages, you just have examples of people practicing a lot and getting good at something. And that's what passed for intellectualism, like in, you know, in the-

• 23:45Speaker 05

  Obama era.

• 23:46Stavros Halkias?

  The Obama era was fucking hilarious. We really thought life was good. We were like, we don't have to think hard. We're never gonna have any real problems ever again. We got a black guy in the White House. Little did we know, we're so fucked now. We're so fucked now, and everyone, and they primed us for being stupid. Because that's what we thought it was, that's what we thought was smart, and now it's like, all those, those business books that you'd have that joke about, the like, how to fucking take over the motherfucking planet and be a bitch.

• 24:11Speaker 05

  The fucking business bitch.

• 24:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the business bitch, yeah, yeah. Just, we really-

• 24:14Speaker 04

  What's the power, the 49 laws of power?

• 24:17Speaker 05

  Forty-eight.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  That is truly a sociopath's, like, just-

• 24:23Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. And the guy, the guy who gives, he's like the most mild-mannered guy of all time.

• 24:28Speaker 05

  Robert Greene?

• 24:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. He's just like a little, a little dork.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Right.

• 24:31Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, and it's like, yeah, I don't even, I haven't read it.

• 24:33Speaker 05

  But he's sitting down with, like, Tony Yeoh.

• 24:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give us a couple, look up a couple laws of power. Let's, let's discuss them.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Hurt anyone in your path.

• 24:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 24:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, betray your allies. It's a real, it truly is every single one. You'll be shocked because everyone talks about this. Like, this changes people's lives.

• 24:51Speaker 05

  It's meant to be like, this is what powerful people do, for good or bad. Like, Hitler would do, like, betray your allies and stuff. But then, like, people interpret it as like, yes, this is advice.

• 25:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:00Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 25:02Speaker 04

  I downloaded it because it was, it's always recommended, like, the five books that changed my life. And then I listened to a podcast dismantling it. I couldn't believe, read some of these.

• 25:10Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, yeah, give us a couple laws of power, Mr. Su.

• 25:12Speaker 06

  Number one, never outshine the master. Make sure superiors always feel superior.

• 25:17Stavros Halkias?

  And you actually-

• 25:18Speaker 06

  That's a big one.

• 25:18Stavros Halkias?

  You actually need to hold on to that one, Elvis. Actually, you know what? You have nothing to worry about on that one. Try your hardest to outshine the master, you piece of shit. I'd love to see it. I'd love to see you try at something.

• 25:31Stavros Halkias?

  Skip to like number 14.

• 25:33Speaker 06

  Fifteen, crush your enemy totally, leave no room for them to retaliate.

• 25:37Speaker 05

  I do that one all the time.

• 25:39Stavros Halkias?

  Leave no, I mean, this is hilarious. This is like how wrestlers speak.

• 25:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:43Stavros Halkias?

  And people are thinking intellectual.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  The whole thing is just be inauthentic all day long. Like, just be manipulative and-

• 25:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, life is, life is a competition. Life is a zero-sum game. There's no place for, like, coordination or community. And it's like, look, the reason these things are fucking popular now is because that's what our society is driven to.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:01Stavros Halkias?

  Like, they've made everything a zero-sum game. It's, you know, inequality is so out of control that most people are like, we're like rats fighting over crumbs. And look, yeah, you can by accident get out of it with a podcast that is a hit for some reason, you know? Two podcasts that shouldn't have worked back to back, couldn't make you rich. But other than that, you're fucked. And I guess I see it because most people's lives right now are that fucked. Where you're like, yeah, I guess I have to stab my enemy for a office manager position in a fucking-

• 26:31Speaker 04

  But not outshine them before I do it.

• 26:32Stavros Halkias?

  Do not outshine the master. Yeah, yeah, the master must stay shining.

• 26:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, you get, these people who are digesting these books are all like, okay, crush your enemy completely. It's like, you're in B2B sales.

• 26:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:44Speaker 05

  What's your endgame?

• 26:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, whatever. Who fucking, I mean, I don't-

• 26:48Speaker 04

  Have any books changed your guys' lives? Any, like, these, like, self-

• 26:51Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great, that's a great question, and it's so funny that the answer is no. That I, no book has ever left a mark on me.

• 26:58Speaker 04

  Unless you fall asleep on it.

• 27:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I literally, yeah, for real. It just, it just stuck. The pages have given me a paper cut. No joke, in high school, every time I tried to read, I would fall asleep.

• 27:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:08Stavros Halkias?

  Because I just have, I, it's some kind of, like-

• 27:10Speaker 04

  It's hypnotizing. It really is.

• 27:12Speaker 05

  Moving eyes side to side actually makes you-

• 27:13Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, that is-

• 27:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 27:14Speaker 04

  That's the best way to get to sleep if people struggle with sleeping. You close, you do it with your eyes closed.

• 27:19Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, really?

• 27:19Speaker 04

  But you look left, right, up, down, like, you don't, anyway, each way, and then you go around. And then around the other way, and then cross your eyes, and then do it once, do it, keep doing it. After, like, three times-

• 27:31Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 27:32Speaker 04

  You start, get, you, you, you can't do it again because you're like, it's so much effort. And then you are asleep so fast. It's the only-

• 27:39Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna give it a whirl.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Literally.

• 27:40Stavros Halkias?

  Because I have a hard time sleeping. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  You close, just do that because you think, this isn't gonna work, and do it, keep doing it, and you'll fall, you really will fall asleep.

• 27:47Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 27:47Speaker 05

  Do it now. Let the podcast play while you do it.

• 27:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 27:51Speaker 05

  I didn't, I hadn't, I hadn't read fiction in a long time. And then, like, last year, I read, uh, The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

• 27:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:57Speaker 05

  And I was like, holy fu, I was like winded reading that book.

• 28:00Speaker 04

  Really?

• 28:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 05

  Jesus Christ, I had to, like, sit with it. It was so intense.

• 28:04Speaker 04

  I have so many books saved, and that's always the one of, like, that's changed people's lives or the best book they've ever read.

• 28:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's a brutal book.

• 28:11Speaker 05

  Brutal, absolutely. But like, beautiful at the same time.

• 28:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:14Speaker 04

  But do you ever read nonfiction, like?

• 28:15Speaker 05

  I read mostly nonfiction, and then, like, every now and then, I'll pop in and read fiction.

• 28:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I read a bunch of, I've been reading a bunch of fiction, but it's like, I, it's like detective novels and shit that's really good. But I really, I, I really do want, I, I wanted to do a thing where I read a book at night for, just to go to bed for fun. And then tried to engage with harder stuff in the morning, and that lasted like one week.

• 28:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:39Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like, I'm not fucking using my brain right now. Maybe when, you know, maybe like, when the special is out, watch it, please. If you watch the special enough this week, maybe I'll start reading books. Because I just need it to be successful. I need this special to go well.

• 28:51Speaker 05

  Help our illiterate boy.

• 28:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I can be a, I feel like the last, January to basically October, I just don't feel like I've been a human being because it's just like, you, you get it. I mean, the schedule's fucking insane. And I bet you feel kind of a similar thing where it's like, well, I better fucking do it now. Because they don't really give you more than one shot at it.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  No, never. And, and this is gonna go away so fast.

• 29:14Stavros Halkias?

  So fast, and you gotta hold on. That's the feeling I have too.

• 29:17Speaker 04

  It's not even about, like, winning them over and making this last. This is definitely, if I'm wrong, it will go away. And people always go, why would it go away? I'm like, because it's gone away for literally every single person you can name. Paul McGurney's still putting out albums, even though he's the king.

• 29:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 29:32Speaker 04

  And people bow down. No one listens to anything new.

• 29:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's a good point.

• 29:35Speaker 04

  At all. They don't chart at all.

• 29:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, it's, it's like, if you're not Tom Cruise, jumping, and Tom Cruise has to jump off a fucking airplane.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  And hold up production to do it himself.

• 29:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's how fucking crazy shit is. No, you're so fucking right. Yeah, I, I know, but it's like, you know, it's nice because it's like, you have a little run, and then I'm excited to just, like, the retirement. I'm excited to be fat as shit, like, I know I'm fat as shit now.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  You're not gonna retire.

• 30:01Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, at some point I will. I just mean, I can't wait for the, like, you know, not having to do shit, chilling. I mean, I have a very, I have like a, I have a spend four months on a beach, like, plan, which is the goal. I want to go to Greece. I want to spend, at some point, I would like to spend at least three months. Like, the goal would be to spend a quarter of the year in Greece every year. Um, and just chill out, you know?

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Would, because I always feel like my happiness is tied to my, obviously, my self-esteem. And my self-esteem is only from accomplishing things.

• 30:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  So I would have to find something to accomplish.

• 30:35Stavros Halkias?

  But don't you think?

• 30:36Speaker 04

  While I'm vacationing.

• 30:37Stavros Halkias?

  I guess that's true, because I think for me, what it is, is I'm saying that, but also what I'm saying is I want to accomplish like fixing my body once and for all. Like, and it's not just losing weight. I mean, I've gotten, I'm clearly over like the body image issues. But it's just health at this point and like my back. And, and I guess part of me is like, if I took a year and like relaxed and like, and even relaxing, I think of it as like stress is bad for you and I need to relax to like be healthier.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:05Stavros Halkias?

  And I probably, if I did that, would at some point get the itch to make stuff again.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:10Stavros Halkias?

  But, I mean, sometimes you think like, man, I am the happiest, even though I love stand up more than anything. I am so unhappy when I'm like work, like on tour. It's so bad for you.

• 31:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:21Stavros Halkias?

  Like, your body is so fucked up. And it is this like, it's, it feels like this like Greek tragedy thing where it's like the thing that makes me feel the most alive and accomplished and, and truly my, my, the north star in my life has been make one great stand up special. Just the age of seventeen, I was like, that's all I've ever wanted to do. And it's like, but that, doing that fucking kill is literally killing me. And, you know, at some point, we have to figure something.

• 31:46Speaker 04

  Does it feel good to be done? Do you feel like you've done it? Like, whether it does well or not?

• 31:50Stavros Halkias?

  I think I got pretty close this time to something that would have, that would have made me happy. And I, I'm really proud of it. I think it's my best special. But there were, there are moments on it where I'm like, I fucked that up. Fucked that up, like, fuck, I forgot the best tag, like, literally, there's one joke that I fully blanked on. All four fucking shows.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  No, wait, did you have prompter?

• 32:13Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 32:13Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 32:14Stavros Halkias?

  I fucking, I just was like, I, because, because my thing was like, I'm gonna fucking just, I'm gonna get this dialed in so much that I don't need any, because I wanted to feel as close to the real.

• 32:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  To a show. And that's what we tried to do. And again, I'm really proud of it, right? But I don't think I, I want to feel like I completely fucked it. And I got really close. And compared to the second special, it's way, way better. But, you know, that's fine. I'm too young to fucking be satisfied with my accomplishments. You know, give me ten more years and then, then I will fucking, you know.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  No, it's never good enough. Well, after you finished taping, you're probably like, that was great. And then you get in the edit and you go, fuck. Or did you not feel that way afterwards?

• 32:53Stavros Halkias?

  Because I also was sick. I also, my back was fucked up. I, I had, I was on vocal rest for like, uh, the two days before.

• 33:00Speaker 05

  You were held together with spit and chicken wired for weeks.

• 33:03Stavros Halkias?

  Two weeks before we went on tour, one last run, it was supposed to be the like, let's just dot our i's, cross our t's, right? And I, the first day of a, of a five city, every night run, uh, I'm sorry, four cities, five shows. I woke up in LA, sicker than I've been in like, I don't know, a year, two years. Lost my voice, like, and so that weekend became, and it was, I was there. There was no way to cancel it. You know what I mean? We had the bus, we did, I would have lost so much money. And I was, I already lost money on the special because I broke my arm. And so, uh, and, and I'm like.

• 33:39Speaker 04

  Before the special, five days before?

• 33:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so this is like, this is two weeks before I lose my voice, I have to do this run. And not only am I not perfecting everything, but now I have to do the hour in a completely different way. I can't use my voice. I can't do act out, like, and from the stress of it all, I fuck it, my back is really fucked up. My back got so bad, I had to sit during half of the fucking shows. I had to get cortisone shots the week before the special. And then I had to get, and then my voice started to go right before the, it was two weeks. I was like, I'll be fine.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  Like laryngitis?

• 34:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, like, like can't control it, just gone. Took steroids for the voice. They don't kick in until literally an hour before the first show. Then we fuck the first show's lighting up so bad that it was hor, it was like, we didn't use almost anything from that show. And I'm like, uh, is my, am I fucking everything? Because if, if we did four of those, it would have been the kind of thing where, all right, I guess we're gonna have to fake a good special in the edit.

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:38Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that's what it felt like. Luckily, we figured it out.

• 34:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:41Stavros Halkias?

  The, the, the last three shows were good, but still, I was in such a fucked up mental state and I was so, my body was so fucked up that I feel like I performed that special at eighty percent.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:51Stavros Halkias?

  And we also had to move it from, we had to move it because I broke my arm, you know, so it was, the circumstances were so weird that I feel really proud of what we accomplished. And like, I really love the hour and I think most of the jokes really stand on their own, but it's, it, I, this is me promoting my special.

• 35:09Speaker 04

  No, now I'm intrigued to watch.

• 35:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, this is me fucking, yeah, this, I should have, this one should come out like, uh, after the Netflix window of tracking.

• 35:19Speaker 04

  No, I think this will drive people to be like, what did he fuck up?

• 35:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:23Speaker 04

  What could have been better?

• 35:24Speaker 05

  It'll be like when people watch The Wizard of Oz, looking for the munchkin who's hanging himself in the back.

• 35:29Stavros Halkias?

  But anyway, anyway, who gives a fuck about my?

• 35:32Speaker 04

  But losing your voice, like, I was losing my voice all the time.

• 35:35Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 35:35Speaker 04

  Because you, you, I can just hear when people don't speak correctly and they're not gonna have a long career.

• 35:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:40Speaker 04

  Like, I can pinpoint it right now, who's like, but I had vocal cord surgery.

• 35:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my God.

• 35:44Speaker 04

  Like, four years ago.

• 35:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  And it changed, it's like a facelift for your voice.

• 35:48Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 35:49Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm fucking it up again because I still don't know how to talk properly, so it'll just keep coming back.

• 35:53Stavros Halkias?

  You're just, you're straining too much?

• 35:54Speaker 04

  You know, you're supposed to be relaxed, you're supposed to breathe from your diaphragm. Like, there's a way to speak that will not put strain on your cords. But it's like, you have to learn it if you, you know, weren't born with it. And so I'll just keep, keep getting it done. But it was just like laser surgery and it, anytime I see a video of myself from four years ago, you can tell, you can really tell. I mean, it was the kind of voice where you're like, I don't want to hear the shrill, like the kind of woman voice.

• 36:18Stavros Halkias?

  I think this might be some internalized, uh.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  No, you know, when you, there's, there's sometimes like women's voices are triggering, it just sounds like a nagging mom or just like a woman screaming at you around the house.

• 36:29Stavros Halkias?

  So your first memory is your mom saying she hates? And now you're worried about sounding like a nagging mom.

• 36:36Speaker 04

  That is one of my biggest fears.

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  If that's connected.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  No, you know what the nagging?

• 36:39Speaker 05

  Your voice is like Michael Jackson's nose.

• 36:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like ten years, Nicky's like this, I just have a beautiful little voice.

• 36:52Speaker 05

  Welcome to my eighth comedy special.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  My friends were like, Jesus Christ.

• 36:56Speaker 05

  I'm getting a spray tan on my asshole.

• 37:00Speaker 04

  I'll still be doing that bit.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  Enough, Nicky.

• 37:06Stavros Halkias?

  At your Vegas residency, where you're just doing like the hits, the greatest hits of all your specials?

• 37:11Speaker 05

  Count Basie Orchestra.

• 37:12Stavros Halkias?

  I can't wait to have some fu, dude, it, there's gonna be podcasting residencies in Vegas.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Oh, absolutely. You're so right.

• 37:18Stavros Halkias?

  I can't, eldest, get ready, baby.

• 37:20Speaker 04

  Right now. That is amazing. Just a podcast.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  It's gonna happen.

• 37:25Speaker 04

  Theater.

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's not gonna happen yet, but it's, when, when we're old, it will happen. When millennials get old.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  Not a podcast, but I do a, um, Caesar's Palace.

• 37:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's fun.

• 37:34Speaker 04

  With Spade. It's so fun.

• 37:35Stavros Halkias?

  How long, like, just once a year or you do it?

• 37:37Speaker 04

  We do it like five times a year.

• 37:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's fun.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  It's so good.

• 37:40Stavros Halkias?

  I would love, I actually would, I didn't think I would like doing Vegas. I actually really like it.

• 37:44Speaker 04

  I like it too.

• 37:44Stavros Halkias?

  And it's the kind of place where you can do it a bunch because people come in and out of it. Nobody really.

• 37:48Speaker 04

  You don't burn at an audience. And doing it with another headliner, where you're not carrying the whole show.

• 37:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  And you get to be with someone who, like, I like get done with my set and I get to watch his set, you know, like, I don't always get to watch the opener set.

• 38:02Stavros Halkias?

  True, true, true.

• 38:03Speaker 04

  So it's just like, it's so much fun.

• 38:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Now, speaking of riz, that guy notoriously got to fuck the hottest women of all time, being like four ten and like, you know, having, being slight. Being like a little guy.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:15Speaker 05

  Macaulay Culkin build.

• 38:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:19Stavros Halkias?

  And I respect it so much. I've never met him in person. We've, we've like messaged a couple of times.

• 38:24Speaker 05

  I've only heard that he's the man.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  He's the nice, have you, you've met him either?

• 38:27Speaker 05

  I don't think so.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  Oh, my God. You would, you guys would both love him. He's the nicest and the funniest.

• 38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 38:32Speaker 04

  Just a really good person. And yeah, it has so much riz.

• 38:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  Still.

• 38:35Stavros Halkias?

  Has he brought any, any dime pieces around?

• 38:38Speaker 04

  He, he, he doesn't like to around me because I think he's a little embarrassed because some of them are like younger.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  And I don't begrudge him, like, get it. I'm, I'm never like, what's, why are you, they're hot. If you can do it, why not?

• 38:50Stavros Halkias?

  There is some cut off.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  When it gets really young, it's gross, but he's not like that.

• 38:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're, I mean, look, if you're like, they're, if you're like, they're gonna be younger than you, but how much younger is the real, is the real answer, uh, the real question. But yeah, that's, that is very funny. It is interesting, though, that it's like, you're worried about your voice and the mom stuff, and you've talked all, a lot about like, like, I get comparing yourself to your sister and stuff.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:14Stavros Halkias?

  Is that a lot? I mean, it seems like, is that the accomplishment thing? Were you like, well, no one's gonna like me for me, so I better accomplish stuff?

• 39:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it's, yeah, of liking, um, I wasn't like, I wasn't good at anything my whole life.

• 39:27Stavros Halkias?

  Never, bad student?

• 39:28Speaker 04

  No, I was, okay, it's cool, but never exceptional. I think I always just kind of judged my worthiness of being, you need to be special, exceptional.

• 39:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  And I was always just like, okay, at everything.

• 39:39Speaker 05

  You were knocking on the door. You're just like outside looking in of like the.

• 39:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was never in the gifted classes, but I made good grades, but I had to like kind of work for them and, um, I, you know, did theater, but never got like the starring roles. Was always like Jewish towns person B at my senior year in the senior production.

• 39:55Stavros Halkias?

  You don't want one, you don't want a number or a letter.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  No.

• 39:59Stavros Halkias?

  At the end of your role, your senior year.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  Towns person.

• 40:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, so it was just like, what the fu, like, and yeah, just not feeling, never got like compliments on like, oh my God, she's such a cute little girl, like, nothing, nothing like that, where you're just like, and I just have the disposition of someone who wants attention.

• 40:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  I, I always have. I don't know where that came from, but I just didn't get it ever.

• 40:22Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe, yeah, not ever getting it from the start. And it seems like, just from the little, just from the like, uh, you know, just from being friends or whatever, and even like your act. It just seems like your sister was getting it, just without trying.

• 40:34Speaker 04

  Yes, and she didn't like rub it in my face. She doesn't even.

• 40:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's the funniest part of your whole origin story. You don't have a villain.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  No.

• 40:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's just that.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  She's so nice, so supportive. I could never be her, to me. I could never be Solange, to be honest, ever. But she's so cool about it.

• 40:51Stavros Halkias?

  Solange makes more interesting music, you know?

• 40:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, honestly.

• 40:54Stavros Halkias?

  I love that, the, the album she put out like a few years ago was awesome.

• 40:58Speaker 05

  Love her elevator work.

• 41:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 41:02Stavros Halkias?

  That is cool, too.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  But you, did, did you feel less than growing up? I mean, obviously.

• 41:06Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, obviously hilarious.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Comedian, but like.

• 41:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, actually, I think like, uh, I, I think it was prob, I just really liked attention from, and I got, like, I think it's the opposite, where my parents, it took them so long to have kids. I'm like one of the first batch of in vitro babies.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 41:25Stavros Halkias?

  And so like, it took them forever. I was the first born. Uh, and I was also like a very prec, like, talk, I've always been a person who runs his mouth from the time it was, like, I could, I was talking at like, I was saying my first words at like nine months old. Like, I was a kid who was like, could speak before he could like walk, you know? And so, and it was like, and so, you know, with, like, they just, I was small, like, they thought I was smart. They're like, well, this kid's a fucking genius. And in reality, I was just like earlier on stuff, like. That's so much of people who think.

• 41:56Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, those kids that are like phenoms and then they level out with everyone else.

• 42:01Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, because sometimes it's just statistics. Some people are gonna hit a growth spurt early or whatever. And I was definitely one of those kids, but I feel like the damage was done by like getting, I got so much attention. And I was also like, I kinda was funny from a young, from a young age where it was like, just a kid having like, you know, a kid having like real, my mom keeps, always talks about, I mean, um, I, one time I asked like, I asked my mom, what does gay mean? And she was like, oh, it means happy. And then I was like, oh, really? I thought it meant, and I said, the slur for gay in Greek. And I was like, because I just, because I just put it together. It was a different time. It was 1991, you know what I mean? But like, that goes to

• 42:43Stavros Halkias?

  show you like, how my family talk, my Greek family talked around me. But, and I would say shit like that.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  You were figuring things out, yes. You were saying inappropriate stuff. And then everyone would laugh.

• 42:53Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, a baby saying a slur is fun. Is really fun. It's not good and then, you know, but, but it's funny. And so it's like, I would just, I was just like that. And I think even, and I got kinda good grades and I didn't care, I didn't give a fuck about learning, but once I got that attention for being a good student, like until I found making people laugh, I really was a good student only because I liked attention. And so I don't know, I really don't know. And then it became, and then it kinda cruised right into how to overcome being a fat loser. You know what I mean? Like, being a fat, white virgin in Baltimore City Public Schools, you gotta know how to roast people. You know what I mean? Like, you gotta be able to like survive. So, I don't even know.

• 43:34Stavros Halkias?

  And, but my mom did find, uh, it's insane, I have it in my Baltimore house, she found a like, comic I drew, like, and it was, the story was, aliens invaded Earth, and I saved them by being funny. It was like, I, I didn't even know I wanted to do stand up that young, but I like, clearly liked comedy in a way that I didn't even realize. And so, I don't know, I just think like, I just, it's so fucking corny, but I really, like, my number one identity is comedian. Like, that's what make, once I started doing that, my whole life snapped into focus. And I don't even fucking know where it came from, you know? And it is funny because that going around the couch,

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  like McDade, I don't even, you don't even still seem like you don't like attention. You know what I mean?

• 44:23Speaker 04

  You must, though.

• 44:24Speaker 05

  Yeah. There's gotta be part of me that definitely does. Yeah, I think there was always part, like, I kinda had a bit of what you had where I was like, close to being really good at stuff, but not quite. I was like, almost a really good student, not quite. I was almost a good athlete, but like, was on the bench on varsity.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  Even being six, seven, bench is tough.

• 44:40Speaker 05

  Yeah. If you have the longest shins on the bench and you're just sitting there at the end, just knowing you can dunk and you're still not getting in it.

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  You can dunk and you're not playing high school ball?

• 44:51Speaker 05

  Fucking sad. That'll make you a comedian.

• 44:56Speaker 05

  My, my coach sat me the entire game, senior night.

• 44:59Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, senior night?

• 45:00Speaker 05

  They had my name up on the wall. And he forgot.

• 45:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, you really do blend in.

• 45:07Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit, yeah.

• 45:09Speaker 05

  He straight up goofed and I was like.

• 45:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's insane.

• 45:12Speaker 05

  So there had to be part of me.

• 45:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, you are quiet. You can blend in. I think that's probably an adaptation of how much you stand out. You probably.

• 45:19Speaker 05

  I never had the option to blend in where it was like, okay, now you gotta, you have to address this.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  But you, but you're probably a little bit more shy and quiet because you were already standing out?

• 45:27Speaker 05

  I'm a, I'm a born introvert. I was always a shy kid. And then like, any kind of social skills I've developed have been like, developed through brute force and trying. This is me being as extroverted as I can.

• 45:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 45:38Speaker 04

  Coaching like they do on Love on the Spectrum.

• 45:40Speaker 05

  Yes, exactly.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  No, I get that. Yeah.

• 45:43Speaker 05

  I've been training eye contact since grade, grade one. But I was like jokes. I wasn't, I wasn't funny. I wasn't funny till like, late high school. But I always like, was weirdly into comedy. I remember I moved away in second grade. And like, my classmates, like, my mom had them like, make me a little book of things, like they'd take with me. I'd like a going away gift. And people like, quoted jokes that I had stolen from whatever joke.

• 46:07Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. One of the best things, I loved, anytime there was like a field trip coming up or something where it was like, you were hanging out with a bunch of kids, I would literally go to like, jokes.com and like, craft a set list.

• 46:18Speaker 05

  All right, so the bus ride's gonna be about two hours and 12 minutes. That'll give me some time to get into this book of Polack jokes.

• 46:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. No, it was literally that level of humor. It was like, you know, like bestiality jokes. It was just like, it was just like dumb, street jokes. But I would get enough to just be like, you know, and I would fuck with people also in conversation. But I just, I mean, I'm saying all this, and at the time, I didn't even consider that that was clearly me wanting to do stand up. Because I was like, you know, in like.

• 46:46Speaker 04

  I didn't think about it either. I just wanted to be on TV. So I thought, the only way to do that is to act. Or to be a singer, or a dancer. And then it's like, that never seemed like an option to be a comedian.

• 46:57Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 46:57Speaker 04

  I, as a woman, I think it's, there's even less so. You just don't see it that much. But I did see it here and there, but it just never, until someone told me I should do it, it didn't even, and then as soon as they did, I was like, oh, like, looked into it. That, it made total sense. But I love jokes too. Like, I was just, I've been rewatching Friends and I realized how influential that show was on me. Like, I remember the first time I heard, one of my favorite jokes on Friends was, you know, Fat Monica is on TV and they're watching an old, you know, video chat. Yeah, yeah. And, um, they're like, whoa, Monica. And she goes, oh, the camera adds 10 pounds. And then Chandler goes, how many cameras were on you? And I remember that at the time, in sixth grade, like, breaking my brain of like, that is such a, like, I couldn't, I had to rewatch it.

• 47:41Speaker 04

  Like, how did it? And I look back and I was, I was piecing together how to write jokes. I love jokes. And then I got like, the Conan O'Brien, In the Year 2000 book. And I have that, I have like, my copy from high school. It's all tattered. I was circling the best jokes and like, studying how a joke works. Because that.

• 47:56Speaker 05

  You were making selects even then.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, totally. I was, you know, you have to learn comedy. I forget that it's not just innate.

• 48:04Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 48:05Speaker 04

  It feels innate, I think, to us, because you're interested in it already. But I watched.

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  Shows with some people and there'll be a laugh track. My assistant, who I watch a lot of TV with, I'll just pause and go, why was that funny? And she's like, I don't know. And I go, why? Wouldn't you wanna know what you're missing that a whole audience got? But some people are just like, no, I just, I don't really need to know.

• 48:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they don't give a fuck at all.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  I don't care. If I don't know something, I'm really embarrassed and need to research it.

• 48:28Stavros Halkias?

  Was there a thing you were, you tried, or were there attempts to get attention before?

• 48:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, like, the acting and, um, and singing, I was like, in the choir. And it was, I really wanted to, I think I really could have been a singer because it was just, I, and I have the base for it. But I just wasn't trained properly. And I never got a chance to because my, um, my voice teacher in high school told my mom, um, uh, she doesn't have it. And this is a waste of her money.

• 48:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  And so.

• 48:55Stavros Halkias?

  A woman who's being paid to train you?

• 48:57Speaker 04

  $50 an hour. Like, it wasn't nothing in 1999.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  You have a good voice. It's like.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  It's not horrible. The thing is, it's not, I don't have a naturally great voice. Some people just come out, uh, uh, great. But that is rare. Like, talking about a book that like, actually, you were kinda talking about like, oh, hard work leads to perfection. Duh. But you kinda, with something like singing, or dancing, or something, or acting, sometimes there are people that are just born great. But then you, if you work hard enough, there's this book called The Talent Code, that kind of like, changed the way I look at things. Of like, if you work harder than everyone else, you can be better than the person who's a natural. And you just.

• 49:34Stavros Halkias?

  Tortoise and the, I read that book too, The Tortoise and the Hare.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  That, that allegory never dawned on me. It didn't, to me, growing up, it was either you had it or you didn't.

• 49:45Stavros Halkias?

  Can I be honest? That, when I read that, that book, I've read, I got away thinking like, the tort, the hare is fucking awesome. I was like, I literally, as a kid, I was like, he's fucking with him. And in my head, I was like, who cares that he won? The tort, the hare was better. Like, literally as a little kid, I was, and I.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  I think I felt the same way. Yeah.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  He's fucking cool. He's fast. I don't wanna be a fucking bitch ass turtle. The next, next time, he's gonna try and he's gonna smoke him. Like, that was like, when I was a kid, that is what I thought of that, of that story.

• 50:12Speaker 04

  I think you're right. That one doesn't really hit the way they thought it would.

• 50:15Speaker 05

  Wins the next 75 races in a row.

• 50:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:17Speaker 04

  How does the turtle win again?

• 50:18Stavros Halkias?

  He just keeps going, the hare, the hare's smoking him and he like, stops and like, you know, it's one of those things.

• 50:22Speaker 04

  Oh, so he wins by default? Because the hare has ADD?

• 50:26Stavros Halkias?

  Basically, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. The hare was taunting, the hare was like, you know, the hare's celebrating before he got the touchdown. It's just that kinda like, don't be a showboat, like, put your head down and hard work kinda thing.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Never outshine.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  But I mean, I gotta be honest, you can, you had the, you made a big mistake, outshining the master.

• 50:42Speaker 04

  I'm on board.

• 50:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I mean, at the same time, though, you know. It ain't gonna happen a lot of the time. You can work hard as fuck and it's like.

• 50:50Speaker 05

  The thing with talent is, I thought it was like, it's like gold in your property. But you do have to dig to find it.

• 50:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 50:58Speaker 05

  And some people have to dig harder than others and some people never.

• 51:00Speaker 04

  I could have had a, like, I might not have been, definitely not Beyonce levels, but I could have had, I would have been able to work. At a, in a way, even coffee shop.

• 51:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:10Speaker 04

  Like, honestly, like, I could have had a, there's a, not that I'm like regret.

• 51:13Stavros Halkias?

  Did you wanna do that, though?

• 51:14Speaker 04

  Yes, I mean, that's like, I would love to be a musician.

• 51:17Stavros Halkias?

  Music is so much cooler.

• 51:19Speaker 04

  It's so much cooler.

• 51:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's not even fucking close.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Going to fucking Noah Khan's concert, kind of, I was standing on the floor when he was kind of positioned this way. So I'm behind him and watching those, you know, 70,000 people, just how rapt they all are. Nothing we will ever do will make people feel the way that music does.

• 51:37Stavros Halkias?

  No, and it translates in an awesome way. Like, you go overseas, you can just play the whole world as a musician.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  I know.

• 51:43Stavros Halkias?

  Music is like so fundamental and our shit is just like, we're exploiting little quirks that are very specific to our culture.

• 51:50Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 51:51Stavros Halkias?

  That don't fucking travel. In fact, the only comedy that is universal is like The Wayans Brothers.

• 51:56Speaker 05

  Mr. Bean.

• 51:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's literally, you throw on White Chicks, everyone's having a good time. Every, you don't even have to speak English to like White Chicks. Because honestly, we just, are we, actually, something really funny, the way we even watched it, remember, Eldis? It was like.

• 52:09Speaker 04

  I haven't seen it.

• 52:10Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's awesome.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  Is it?

• 52:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's really good, you should watch it.

• 52:13Speaker 05

  It's part of the Criterion Collection.

• 52:14Stavros Halkias?

  Well, no, I was on Netflix and they had a, we had, they had a, we were going through the categories and they're like, millennial classics. I'm like, look at this bullshit. They're like, trying to bait us, like, millennials are, just because you're in a generation doesn't mean we all like the movies. And every single one was a banger. And I was like, fuck, these are fucking awesome. And then we just ended up watching White Chicks.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:34Stavros Halkias?

  And so good, it's literally like, it is like, it is closer to clowning and to like, these like, classic types of theater. The Wayans Brothers really are insane performers and they're so fucking good. And truly, yes, is it high level humor? No, right? It's the, the writing is not, no one's writing, no one's winning an Oscar for writing, right?

• 52:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 52:58Stavros Halkias?

  But, performance, and, and also, at the end of the day, you could argue what they're doing is of more value. And like, cause like, oh, I, well, look at the structure on my joke. Who gives a fuck, dude? Can you make anybody laugh?

• 53:12Speaker 04

  Any, yes.

• 53:12Stavros Halkias?

  I can't, I really can't. You know who can? The fucking Wayans Brothers, you know? And so it's like, that's the thing, it's like, even the thing we have dedicated our lives to is like, a subsection of entertainment. And truly, the basement of show business.

• 53:25Speaker 04

  Oh, no one respects it.

• 53:26Stavros Halkias?

  Until recently, when I don't know what the fuck happened.

• 53:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 53:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, this has become a crazy, you know what I mean? Like, truly, you, like, hosting award shows used to be the absolute pinnacle.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, I know.

• 53:40Stavros Halkias?

  In many ways, it was like, that's the best gig, that stand up, that's what you're training for, or hosting a late night show. Everybody wanted to host a show, right? And that was what you did stand up for. And now we don't even give a fuck, now we're just like, we're doing it for the art form, it's like, who fucking cares? Who gives a fuck?

• 53:56Speaker 04

  Or the sitcom.

• 53:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true, even that's, I would love to, I would love to be the fat doofus neighbor on a sitcom, but.

• 54:03Speaker 04

  Aren't you?

• 54:03Stavros Halkias?

  I guess I am, wait.

• 54:07Stavros Halkias?

  Holy fuck, I really, I forgot that I am the fat doofus on Tires.

• 54:17Speaker 04

  You're living your dream.

• 54:20Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my fuck, that's how ungrateful I am for my life? It's like, oh, yeah, I am that. I am literally the thing I used to, that's what we were talking about, I used to get mad. That's how much not getting something fuels me, when I literally have it.

• 54:34Speaker 04

  You don't even acknowledge it.

• 54:35Stavros Halkias?

  I still have the chip on my shoulder that, why aren't I doing the thing I literally am doing? I guess I'm mad, yeah, anyway, that's so fucking funny. Tires is also out right now.

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:44Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, Tires is out, Uncle Stav is out, Tony is out in theaters, folks.

• 54:48Speaker 04

  Uncle Stav is the name of the, and when's Tony coming out?

• 54:50Stavros Halkias?

  Tony is out in New York right now.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 54:52Stavros Halkias?

  It opens wide next week.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  Oh, shit.

• 54:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good, too.

• 54:56Speaker 04

  My God, of course, that's what we've been, we've heard.

• 54:58Stavros Halkias?

  Dom is awesome, Dom's unbelievable, Antonio Banderas, I mean, the whole thing is fucked.

• 55:03Speaker 05

  I hear Reese Grover steals it.

• 55:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Reese Grover, Flip, who is a character, this is our friend Reese, who had one line in the movie, and he stayed the whole filming. He's best friends with Dom, he's the man, he's so cool.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  That's so fun.

• 55:16Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, actually, fuck, I owe him a hundred dollars.

• 55:19Speaker 04

  For what?

• 55:21Stavros Halkias?

  He picked up my car and drove it to Newark for me and that, cause I, I had to go to, I had to go to, as soon as I got back from the Tires premiere, I had to drive to our sound mixer's house and do.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 55:32Stavros Halkias?

  And do the mix, because we have to turn, we had to turn the special in so fast.

• 55:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:36Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I broke, breaking my arm, but still wanting to put it out.

• 55:39Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, the turnaround on the special is really quick.

• 55:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's fucking insane.

• 55:43Speaker 04

  Did you do like a photo shoot and everything for it?

• 55:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yep.

• 55:46Speaker 04

  Billboards and stuff?

• 55:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we were, we were doing all that, I mean, we're doing all that concurrently, like, everything's happening at the same time. Literally, we had my guest room, cause we shot it in Baltimore, which is nice, so we, I have a place there. In my guest room, we just put fucking folding tables out and we had like a fucking, we had like, you know, literally editors pulling day and night shifts, like, we were editing between shows.

• 56:06Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 56:06Stavros Halkias?

  It was fucking crazy. It was actually the most insane thing I've done, but also, I kind of liked it. It was fun to stay in it. Would it be nice to have two more weeks? Sure, but like, still, I really did, there's something fun about doing it immediately.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 56:20Stavros Halkias?

  It feels like an extension of the show, as opposed to.

• 56:23Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 56:24Stavros Halkias?

  Two months later, you've kind of forgotten.

• 56:25Speaker 04

  A, and you've been doing that material and now it's better.

• 56:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh, true, I hate that, too. That's bru, that's almost, that's kind of why.

• 56:33Speaker 04

  It's the worst.

• 56:33Stavros Halkias?

  That happened to me on the last one, where I was like, fuck, this special sucks dick. I fixed, I fixed all the problems. When I stopped thinking about it, I was like, you know what, I don't really like that joke, I'm just gonna do, and then within three months, it was so good, but some of that material ended up on this special, whatever. But still, yeah, you're so right, I didn't even think about that angle.

• 56:52Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 56:53Stavros Halkias?

  This stops you from like.

• 56:54Speaker 04

  You really gotta get right in there.

• 56:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 56:56Speaker 04

  So smart.

• 56:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, fuck, I did it out of necessity, but, um, you know, what are you gonna do? Uh, we do need to take some calls, but I do, Nikki, there's one thing I do want to ask you about. Um, how did you find out your dad has a huge hog?

• 57:08Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 57:10Stavros Halkias?

  Because that is somehow common knowledge.

• 57:12Speaker 04

  It's so haunting to know that.

• 57:14Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I just saw like, you mentioned it offhand and I was like, why, and you know what? She, looking at your dad, I'm like, yep.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  I just assume, first of all, I just assume he does, cause he's a tall man.

• 57:24Stavros Halkias?

  Tall guy, big Adam's apple.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  And he's just like, I don't know, I, I just, I, I don't know if I've ever, I think a friend saw it one time, but I don't even think she reported about it, but I've never seen it.

• 57:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, you've just heard rumor.

• 57:36Speaker 04

  I have, yes.

• 57:38Speaker 05

  I mean, no surer sign.

• 57:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:40Speaker 05

  That you've heard tell about it, like, Sasquatch in the woods.

• 57:43Speaker 04

  No, I did, um, I had a talk show on, um, Comedy Central, you know, a decade ago.

• 57:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes.

• 57:48Speaker 04

  And, um, it, we, we ran out of ideas and it was just like, getting the point, and one time my writers were like, what if we put your parents on a lie detector and we ask them about their sex life? And, and you know, the pitch sounds hilarious, like, let's do it.

• 58:01Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 58:01Speaker 04

  And then you sit down and have to ask your mom if she's ever done anal. Yeah, that's the funny part of it, right?

• 58:06Stavros Halkias?

  It is, you're right, you're right, you're right.

• 58:08Speaker 04

  And it was, it was truly hell, it was, it was so uncomfortable. I had to ask them if they'd ever heard me have sex and my dad said yes.

• 58:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no!

• 58:16Speaker 04

  It's just like, God, it was fucked up. It was, honestly, I, I don't even like to talk, it was so.

• 58:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 58:23Speaker 04

  No, no, no. And then one of it was like, asking my mom if my dad had a big dick. I mean, these were all questions that I had written and helped, you know, facilitate, cause in the moment, you're just like, this is crazy. You don't think you ever have to do, you don't think about doing it. I don't really, I sign up for shit all the time that I don't think about how it's gonna feel. And I think that's a part of the reason I'm successful, is I don't think about things before, I just hurl myself into them.

• 58:45Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  But, um, oh my God, we did a thing on that show that I'm still so disturbed by. We, we were like, you know, it was second season, it was a show about sex and dating, but, and you really run out of stuff to do.

• 58:57Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  We were gonna help guys, um, re, redo their dick pics, cause it's always just like this sad kind of photo in a bad lighting in your bathroom with a dirty bath mat and you're fucking.

• 59:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny, that's a great concept.

• 59:10Speaker 04

  And so we like, built these dioramas where the, you stick your penis through the hole and then your dick would be like, in a Parisian landscape, with like, the Eiffel Tower and your dick is riding a bike with a baguette in it and your dick, it has a little beret. There was one, there was like a spa where your dick was like in a bathtub with bubbles and there's like cucumber eyes and a little fucking shower cap. And so we build these things, the art department does an amazing job, we cast, we cast it, and the only people we can get to ever be on camera with it, we will blur the dicks, but like, are just porn, just dirty porn guys, homeless guys, we go on Craigslist to get them.

• 59:46Speaker 05

  No, not the A team.

• 59:49Speaker 04

  And the night before, we're doing like a rehearsal of how's tomorrow gonna work? We got the photographer, we have this amazing studio and um, and I remember Dan St. Germain, one of the writers was sitting there and we were like, Dan, you be the guy and we'll just like show how this would work. And he has pants on. So the art department brings in the model and puts it on his lap and we see how it would go. And then we realized he can't dress his penis with his arms. Someone has to do it. And I look at the art department, they're just like backing out like Homer Simpson into the fucking bush. Like, fuck, not us. And they go, it has to be you. And so I had to handle the men's penises all day long, like a nine hour shoot. And I had

• 1:00:30Speaker 04

  gloves on, but I had to pick up their limp dick, put little glasses on them, draw a little mustache.

• 1:00:36Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking insane. It had to be you? They couldn't hire someone?

• 1:00:41Speaker 04

  It just, it was funnier. And I was kind of, I was playing like the director of the shoot. Like I have this idea. And so it was like, I had to just-

• 1:00:48Speaker 05

  You're giving the dicks their motivation before the scene.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  It was so horrible.

• 1:00:52Stavros Halkias?

  It'd be funny if you like, if somebody slipped on a banana peel and cracked their head open and died. Doesn't mean you're gonna have to do it. You know what I mean?

• 1:00:59Speaker 04

  These guys would just make eye contact with me while I do it. They were tweaking out. I mean, they were just like fluffing next to the craft service table. It was a disgusting day.

• 1:01:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  And it was barely a good sketch. No one talks about it. It has no longevity. It probably has 20,000 views at most. None. Just a footprint in my psyche. I truly was so disturbed.

• 1:01:24Stavros Halkias?

  You had to do like clinical sex work?

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  No one was, we were so jazzed about this idea because it was so out there. It was crazy. And there was so much energy around it. And then we got there and we were all just like thousand yard stare afterwards. It was really disturbing.

• 1:01:37Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, build a smaller diorama.

• 1:01:41Speaker 04

  If only we had thought of that.

• 1:01:43Stavros Halkias?

  If their fucking arms couldn't go around, what if it was a little square?

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  Put a beret on my dick. I'll do it. And I just was like, I'm a doctor. I just had to think I'm-

• 1:01:52Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. How many guys are we talking?

• 1:01:54Speaker 04

  It was like probably six.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  It's on YouTube. You can watch it.

• 1:02:00Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, I'm gonna watch both of these. I'm gonna watch the lie detector stuff.

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, and the lie detector thing was awful. And my parents and I like don't talk about it. But my dad sometimes, you know, they were calling him horse cock glazer. And sometimes like fans meet him and still talk about it. He's so embarrassed by it because he really is like, it's not that big. Like, because this lie detector guy was the guy that everyone hires for TV shows. And he's bullshit. He'll just give you what's the funniest answer. We didn't know that at the time. But my dad, so my dad said, I don't have a big penis. And they were like, that's a lie. And so it was like, my dad, it felt like it made my dad really uncomfortable. He's not someone that wants to like brag about that. He was not proud of it.

• 1:02:37Stavros Halkias?

  I would be so proud.

• 1:02:39Speaker 04

  I know, I would too.

• 1:02:40Stavros Halkias?

  Even if my dick was small, I'd be like, yep. My dick's huge.

• 1:02:43Speaker 05

  What Nikki did was she put a really big hat on it.

• 1:02:48Stavros Halkias?

  He was the ninth guy.

• 1:02:52Speaker 04

  If we would have got a season three, 100% that would have been happening. Oh my god.

• 1:02:56Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. Well, they say television's dead.

• 1:02:59Speaker 04

  Oh my god. I think I killed it. That was the last show on Comedy Central, I think.

• 1:03:07Speaker 04

  I think that was the episode where they were like, it's too dirty. Like, you can't continue doing this.

• 1:03:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny. I mean, I remember, yeah, the Comedy Central was sort of coming back. Anyway, we'll talk about this. Nobody gives a fuck.

• 1:03:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're still around, I think.

• 1:03:18Stavros Halkias?

  They're doing, they're mounting some kind of comeback. And I would love, I would actually love, the more places for stand up, the better, I would say. Competition's good. I love the free market. I just don't like crony capitalism. Especially when it comes to more places to, you know, put a special on so you could make them bid against each other. Anyway, that's beautiful. Well, you know, congrats to your dad who has probably just a slightly above average penis. And that's still great.

• 1:03:44Speaker 05

  Print the legend.

• 1:03:47Speaker 04

  Based on my pussy size, I go like-

• 1:03:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's huge?

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  Because my dad and I have the same lower extremities. Like, we have the same legs, same feet. So I'm like, it's probably a hog.

• 1:04:01Stavros Halkias?

  It's meaty, no matter what.

• 1:04:04Speaker 04

  I know his balls are long. I should say that.

• 1:04:09Stavros Halkias?

  All right, LD, why don't we play some fu- Why don't we hit the Stavi's World hotline sponsored by Visible and take some fucking calls? LD, hit us, baby. Oh baby, the fall, October, a chill in the air. The leaves are turning. Your body's all messed up. It's dark outside, fast. You're getting off. You gotta switch from summer to the fall. That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else. AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, and

• 1:04:54Stavros Halkias?

  you're not gonna believe this, superfoods. It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials and specifically formulated to support immune defense. So you could stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1. You know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi Gets Ripped is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going. I'm feeling more energetic. I'm ready to go. And I will say, other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega

• 1:05:36Stavros Halkias?

  3 fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi.

• 1:05:48Speaker 01

  With the power and endurance of Toyota trucks, you can go to the most incredible places like this valley where the echo does different voices. Hello.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  Hello. Hello. Hello. We know what we're made of, Toyota trucks.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Hi. So I've been with my husband, well, we've been married for a year now. And strangely, he has never actually told me he loves me. He says that he has some trauma in his past that's prevented him from feeling comfortable with that. However, you know, he did ask for us to get married. He married me, all of the things. We live together.

• 1:06:33Stavros Halkias?

  How did he ask? Hey, are you free in like six months? You wanna like fucking get married, man?

• 1:06:40Speaker 05

  Can you strike some stuff from the vows and remove the stuff about love?

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  He just doesn't really show a whole lot of like romantic, like sweetness.

• 1:06:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, affection.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  His form of being romantic or sweet with me, or instead of giving me compliments, is kind of just whipping his dick out over his basketball shorts, wanting to just hang out and then chase me around the house.

• 1:07:07Stavros Halkias?

  This can't be real. This is insane.

• 1:07:09Speaker 04

  This is a hundred percent.

• 1:07:09Stavros Halkias?

  This is real?

• 1:07:12Stavros Halkias?

  You been in a situation like this?

• 1:07:14Speaker 04

  It's where it's like, everything's a joke. Any kind of, like, any-

• 1:07:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I see. They're so uncomfortable with actual-

• 1:07:20Speaker 04

  They're trying to get affection or have sex. There's no touching. It's like, look at my dick. And then it's, it has to be a bit.

• 1:07:25Speaker 05

  The dick is a prop.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:26Stavros Halkias?

  And do you think it's like being so uncomfortable with sincere romance?

• 1:07:30Speaker 04

  And that guy's never been told, his parents didn't tell him he loved him. Or that they loved him. And so he's, but you have to get out of this.

• 1:07:39Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy.

• 1:07:40Speaker 04

  Because some women don't, sorry, we'll continue it.

• 1:07:42Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, yes. That's crazy.

• 1:07:44Speaker 04

  Maybe she's already left him. End of this call, hopefully.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  Chased me around the house saying nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. And chased me around the house. So I just, I mean, it'd be nice to be told that I'm cute or I look pretty today or whatever. But instead I get, well, that.

• 1:08:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's not great.

• 1:08:07Stavros Halkias?

  Thoughts? Is that what she said? Hilarious way to end that call. Thoughts, follow up? Yes. I mean, listen, that's fucking insane. It's also like you didn't marry him.

• 1:08:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, because she, but she probably doesn't feel enough.

• 1:08:22Stavros Halkias?

  This sounds like some low self-esteem.

• 1:08:24Speaker 04

  It does. And it sounds like she is now learning, probably from just seeing reels of other women that are telling you about what kind of relationship to get out of, that she probably deserves more. Because there's like a whole subset of Instagram that has been served to me at times in my life. You deserve more. It's out there, girl.

• 1:08:43Stavros Halkias?

  Our phones are listening to us and like, they just heard you crying so.

• 1:08:45Speaker 04

  Oh my god, they know. They know. But you do deserve better. And I know that like, there are some women that don't need to hear I love you and don't need to hear you're pretty. And he could be with one of those girls. And it doesn't, he'd probably say back to you, you know, of cour-, I wouldn't be with you if I didn't love you. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't think you were hot. That's not the same as saying them. And I think a lot of times women think that the guy is just rolling their eyes like, you're being so needy. Why do you need to hear you're beautiful? Like, can't you have confidence? It's like, you're allowed to want to have things said to you. You're allowed to want to hear you're pretty. That's okay. Even if you're not, even if he has to lie to you about it, you're allowed to want him to lie to you. It's not too much to ask at all. So

• 1:09:30Speaker 04

  don't, you know, I think definitely confront him about this and be like, this is a non-negotiable for me. Because it should be. Because you don't want to be with this guy the rest of your life feeling like, this guy, I never got affection. I never got him to touch my arm or be like, and you see other couples do that.

• 1:09:44Stavros Halkias?

  When we're in public, he puts his AirPods in and walks a little in front of me. Yeah, that Alpine divorce shit.

• 1:09:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, this girl, I feel for you. I think it's, but you definitely deserve more and there's someone that will shower you with that stuff. And I just, I've gone through it before and been with people that don't give me the affection that I desire. And I think, oh, I don't have to, I can be like a cool girl that like, we don't need to do that. Like, we're buddies.

• 1:10:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:10:07Speaker 04

  And we can joke about sex and that's so much better than snuggling.

• 1:10:10Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 1:10:11Speaker 04

  You convince yourself that this is what you deserve or that you have this kind of relationship, but it sounds like you want something more.

• 1:10:16Speaker 05

  She shouldn't underestimate the stupidity of guys. Like, sometimes we really do need to just be told.

• 1:10:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:10:21Speaker 05

  Like, a lot of things that we think are implied. Like, oh, it's implied that I think she's beautiful and I love her and stuff. It's like, they do need the words. You gotta say, say the words.

• 1:10:29Speaker 04

  And if you can't say it, just say, then, yes, you can, you can talk, just, just lie, just say it. Don't do the thing of like, I can't say it.

• 1:10:37Speaker 05

  You can fake it till you make it now that you've been married for a year.

• 1:10:40Speaker 04

  And you deserve that. It's not, it's not, it is not asking too much at all.

• 1:10:44Stavros Halkias?

  Certainly not. I mean, my worry, though, is that with these types of problems, the time to address it is as soon as possible, right? And the only problem I could foresee here is that, like, you know, how long has she said they were dating, Eldis, before they got married? They were married for a year. But how long were they dating before that is my question. She didn't say. And look, so, my hunch is, this woman has some self-esteem issues. Like, what did you get out of this is a big question I have. And look, maybe her dating life wasn't great. Maybe at the time, this is the first person to show even a little affection towards her. And so that was almost novel. And you just kind of let it slide, hoping, oh, well, as we fall in love, he'll get more lovey dovey, whatever. Like, I kind of wonder, how did he even propose? Did he,

• 1:11:26Stavros Halkias?

  did he lift his dick and the ring was between his dick and his nuts? Like, what, like, what, like, what happened here? And so, like, yes, I think what Nikki said is 100% correct. You can absolutely talk to him about it. I would foresee the, like, well, wasn't this, this wasn't a problem. This has never been a problem. This is always how it's been. That is gonna be his argument. You could just be like, you can, you can, you can just say, sorry, I got a devastating text that we, we tried to rent a place for the nude calendar and they have a strict no nudity policy at the studio. Yeah, strict. I guess because they do kind of look like porn sets. And I'm sure people try to do pornography.

• 1:12:06Speaker 04

  It's the cars for kids.

• 1:12:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:10Speaker 05

  On top of the keyboard.

• 1:12:12Stavros Halkias?

  So, anyway, we're fucked. Sorry, guys. The calendar, 2027 calendar is coming, but a cool, completely pink, fuzzy room.

• 1:12:19Speaker 04

  I know a studio that will have you with your dick out anytime. I'll come out and style you.

• 1:12:25Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, exactly. You got those dioramas.

• 1:12:31Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, so I would just say, like, look, you're like, hey, look, this is just something I've learned over time. I need, maybe I thought it was gonna get better, maybe I didn't. Just, again, just sort of, I'm just anticipating maybe some counter argument.

• 1:12:43Speaker 04

  What he's gonna say, because you're right. But, yeah, I would just say, um, I thought, I thought I, I thought it was fine at the time. I've changed my mind.

• 1:12:50Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. And that's completely fine. Because what I'm hearing from, from the voice of our friend here is that standing up for yourself is not something you're used to doing. Especially, you're probably really scared of losing. If you married, somebody doesn't tell you, I love you, you're probably scared of losing him.

• 1:13:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:05Stavros Halkias?

  And so you need to, you do need a little, I would say, absolutely talk to him about it. But also, you need to find the root of these issues, which is your self-esteem.

• 1:13:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:13Stavros Halkias?

  Why is that, why did you allow something that was not acceptable to go on for so long? Um, and just, you know, is that, I would say, therapy seems like a kind of no-brainer.

• 1:13:23Speaker 04

  Just get to this trauma and get rid of it.

• 1:13:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  Like, get the, do the intense stuff.

• 1:13:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:13:28Speaker 04

  That's like that, I do it on Zoom where it's like, they tap, you tap in the eyes.

• 1:13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  And it just, it's way faster than other therapy.

• 1:13:34Stavros Halkias?

  What's it called?

• 1:13:34Speaker 04

  EMDR.

• 1:13:35Stavros Halkias?

  What's the, what does it stand for? Because I have a friend who did it, but I forgot about it. It's something rapid eye movement or something.

• 1:13:40Speaker 05

  Activates the nervous system in a way that, like, accesses trauma?

• 1:13:42Speaker 04

  It's crazy. Like, you just go in, because I would always, I would go to therapy all the time. And you just talk the whole hour and I would just do like a podcast. It was like nothing.

• 1:13:52Stavros Halkias?

  It can certainly be nothing. I, my advice always is, like, go when you have a specific thing you want to work on. Like, because when I went early on, it was specific about my relationship with my family and guilt about, truly, the first time I did stand, or went to therapy was because I felt guilt about betraying the immigrant, the immigrant son thing. And it took me like, a year of like, being like, am I bad? Like, don't I owe to my parents?

• 1:14:16Speaker 04

  What were you betraying?

• 1:14:18Stavros Halkias?

  Because, you know, I, again, I didn't go into this thinking this would happen. The betrayal was basically like, they, because I had good grades. I was just, you know, I went to college on scholarship. And they were looking towards me to, like, get a real job, help the family out, like, sort of pay back the immigrant thing, which, you know, I'm totally happy to do now, like.

• 1:14:35Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:14:35Stavros Halkias?

  But at the time, it felt like, well, instead of doing the thing, the correct thing, I'm gonna do the selfish thing.

• 1:14:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:42Stavros Halkias?

  Do something artistic, right? So that was the first time I went. And then later on, I had real people pleasing and self-esteem issues. And I went for those. And later on, it was to help my relationship with my brothers. And like, you know, there are times where I just don't go to therapy at all. Or I go, I go maybe a couple months, every, once every couple months, just to kind of check in. And now, and I, basically, I stopped because I was so busy. But boy, do I need to pop in after this, right?

• 1:15:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:15:06Stavros Halkias?

  But my advice with talk therapy is, go when you have something to work on.

• 1:15:10Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:15:10Stavros Halkias?

  Don't just go.

• 1:15:11Speaker 04

  Do it a case-by-case basis. I think it should be that.

• 1:15:15Stavros Halkias?

  And, and our friend here, sounds like she has some self-esteem issues to work on. But I'm not, I don't know. What, did you look up what EMDR stands for?

• 1:15:23Speaker 06

  Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.

• 1:15:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 1:15:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. So you just like, bring in your, like, so, I did it because I was trying to work on my people pleasing and my lack of self-esteem. And it's like, I don't really have any trauma in my life where I'm like, I was molested, I was raped. Like, I don't have any, like, concrete biggies.

• 1:15:41Stavros Halkias?

  The big ones.

• 1:15:42Speaker 04

  And so I just like, brought in a story of like, one time I got, like, that it just stands out of, when did you start feeling like you were less than?

• 1:15:47Stavros Halkias?

  My mom said she hated me.

• 1:15:51Speaker 04

  That one just hits so good. I don't want to recover from that.

• 1:15:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's why you're a masochist. Say to say, yeah, whatever.

• 1:15:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I just brought in this, like, nothing story of, like, getting a doll that the hair was bent on it. And I'm like, I don't like, I never, I never get nice things. And like, I just brought in the story thinking, like, I don't even think about this story. But it's kind of, when she said, what's a young moment where you felt less than? And just tapping shoulders and like, talk, and then thinking about it and waiting, sobbing. And I'm not someone who cries. I never cry. It all brings it up. And you go back in time and reparent yourself. And you heal the synapses that fired off then. So you literally don't have it anymore.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:16:31Speaker 04

  And it really works. And it works quickly. Like, people, I mean, I didn't keep doing it because it was so exhausting to go into when I was trying to prepare for my special just.

• 1:16:38Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:16:38Speaker 04

  Going in, and because you have to, like, you're kind of out of it afterwards. But I would recommend that for this girl. Start doing that and then get out.

• 1:16:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:45Speaker 04

  Because you need to develop your self-worth, because you're never gonna be able to get out until you actually feel like you deserve better.

• 1:16:50Stavros Halkias?

  And who knows if you can, and, and like we said, let's give this guy some credit. He might just be a guy who, like JP said, sometimes you just need to hear it, right? He might be fucking stupid. And you might, and with a little self-esteem, you might be able to have a real conversation with him. And then he's like, oh, my bad.

• 1:17:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:04Stavros Halkias?

  I don't, and look, he, this guy, I mean, autistic gets thrown around way too much.

• 1:17:08Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:17:08Stavros Halkias?

  And like, and the, the pulling your dick out and chasing kind of puts me off the autism.

• 1:17:13Speaker 05

  That's nobody's special interest.

• 1:17:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:18Stavros Halkias?

  But, but like, not being in touch with, being a guy who's just like, not in touch with these things, like, he might, like, I literally go, like, I did, I remember there's a story, like, a, some radio story that I saw, that I heard. And the woman was just like, I, her, she was married to an autistic guy. And she was like, hey, it would just make me feel better if you asked about how my day was and told me you loved me. And he was like, okay. You know what I mean?

• 1:17:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:17:43Stavros Halkias?

  And he just did it. And truly, it didn't come from him. And she was like, you know what? It's enough.

• 1:17:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:49Stavros Halkias?

  I do love him, even if it's, even if, like, he doesn't, he's not meaning it in the way that I, that I would mean it when I ask somebody.

• 1:17:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:17:57Stavros Halkias?

  He's still, in his way, he is making his effort.

• 1:18:00Speaker 04

  That's what people think that when you tell your partner to do something and they go, so, but I, when I say, you're just gonna know I just said it because you told me to. And that it's not gonna land. I, a lot of times, it still does.

• 1:18:10Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:18:10Speaker 05

  It's a clarifying thing.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:12Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's literally the thought that counts.

• 1:18:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:18:15Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, yes, you actually changed your behavior for me.

• 1:18:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:20Stavros Halkias?

  Even if you did it for different reasons than I would have done it, I appreciate you doing that, you know?

• 1:18:25Speaker 04

  It's not really, oh, you care about my day. It's that you thought to ask that.

• 1:18:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you know it matters to me that you ask?

• 1:18:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:32Stavros Halkias?

  Even if you're fucking thinking about, you know, playing fucking, playing Roblox or whatever the fuck.

• 1:18:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, because I think a lot of times.

• 1:18:38Stavros Halkias?

  You're zoning out.

• 1:18:39Speaker 04

  Guys get scolded about something, like, you never tell me I'm pretty. And it's like, well, no, I'm not gonna do it because you're gonna think I'm, like, still do it. I promise you, they just want you to say it.

• 1:18:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's an open book test. They get like, just.

• 1:18:50Speaker 04

  It really, you're so right.

• 1:18:52Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, that's what it is. It's like, oh, you want to start, like, I'm giving you the answers. Just fucking do it.

• 1:18:56Speaker 04

  Just do it.

• 1:18:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:56Speaker 05

  If you couch it in like, yeah, I know you care or whatever, I just need to hear this.

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 1:19:01Speaker 05

  I've had girls in the past be like, uh, yeah, I need better communication. And I'm just like, what? I texted you every time I wanted to hang out.

• 1:19:09Stavros Halkias?

  Every time my dick got hard, I texted you.

• 1:19:14Stavros Halkias?

  Every time the girl I actually like didn't hit me up, I texted you. That's pretty clear.

• 1:19:21Speaker 05

  They literally call it communication. What am I paying AT&T for?

• 1:19:27Speaker 05

  But we are, we are kind of stupid. We do need to be told.

• 1:19:29Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, absolutely. So, good luck, buddy. What else we got, Eld?

• 1:19:33Speaker 00

  Hey, Richmond. Mark Smith, Modus Richmond. 2026. We have been doing what we do for 29 years. Total car care, total community care. In 2026, we are donating $365,000. A thousand dollars a day to the nonprofits we've historically supported. Gooch and Cares, Shalom Farms, St. Joseph's Villa, Ask, the Colonial Heights Food Pantry, everybody we've helped over the years. These are important things making a big impact in our society right now. Total car care, total community care. That is Modus of Richmond.

• 1:20:03Speaker 01

  With the power and endurance of Toyota trucks, you can go to the most incredible places. Like this valley, where the Echo does different voices. Hello. Hello.

• 1:20:12Speaker 07

  Hello. We know what we're made of. Toyota trucks.

• 1:20:19Speaker 04

  Hey, stuff. Elvis, this is Ian Guest. Thank you for taking my call. So, I'm a male in my mid-30s. I'm happily married, have a son. And I'm going. Going on a bachelor party of a close friend in a few months. Um, it's gonna be a big bachelor party. Lots of about 20 guys there and I anticipate there will be strippers there.

• 1:20:41Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  The dilemma on end is. I've never experienced being around strippers or been to a strip club. It's not something that I judge heavily, but it's just some.

• 1:20:52Stavros Halkias?

  You're scared you'll see titties?

• 1:20:54Speaker 04

  Thing that has never interested me and that I've never really had the opportunity to partake in. Um. One thing I do know is that my wife is not fond of the idea of strippers just in general. And so I've been thinking about when I'm there, how do I respond if it happens to be strippers? Or folks want to go to the strip club? Um. On one hand, um. I don't want to make a big deal about it. If I don't feel like being there, I'm happy to just excuse myself. Um, and not say anything, but I also don't want to try and do that in an indirect way. And, um.

• 1:21:35Speaker 04

  Make a scene out of any of it and dampen the party. I really want folks, it's not my party or my celebration. I really want the groom to be able to celebrate in the way that he wants. But also really, um, conflicted about being a part of something that, um. I really don't want to partake in something that I know that my wife has strong opinions on as well.

• 1:21:56Stavros Halkias?

  Look, that's, that's, that's pretty much the question.

• 1:22:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, you need to leave her wife.

• 1:22:03Speaker 05

  She sounds like a babe.

• 1:22:04Speaker 04

  You deserve better.

• 1:22:06Stavros Halkias?

  At least you're consistent across sexes.

• 1:22:10Speaker 05

  But here, I tell this to young men all the time. Strippers are more afraid of you than you are of them.

• 1:22:16Speaker 04

  I, I, I would like to hear what you guys think about how to.

• 1:22:20Speaker 05

  I've handled this before.

• 1:22:21Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you've, you've had this before?

• 1:22:22Speaker 05

  And I was a couple.

• 1:22:23Stavros Halkias?

  I have, I have thoughts, but go ahead.

• 1:22:24Speaker 05

  Several years ago, I was like, I wasn't in a relationship, but I was like, I think I had a girl that I was like interested in and going for. I was on a bachelor weekend and my friends all wanted to go to a strip club. I thought about, I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna sit this one out. And I went and did my own thing for like a couple hours.

• 1:22:39Stavros Halkias?

  Because you might have dated this girl?

• 1:22:41Speaker 04

  It was because of the girl or are you already uncomfortable with strip clubs?

• 1:22:44Speaker 05

  Been it. I, yeah, I was, I don't know.

• 1:22:46Speaker 04

  Have you been at strip clubs before?

• 1:22:47Speaker 05

  A long, long time ago, yeah.

• 1:22:48Speaker 04

  But is, it's not something that you're, you think about going?

• 1:22:51Speaker 05

  I wasn't, no.

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  Would you like to go to one?

• 1:22:53Speaker 05

  I'm good. I'm all set.

• 1:22:55Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 1:22:55Speaker 04

  You're a strip club guy.

• 1:22:56Stavros Halkias?

  I, I am not like honestly.

• 1:22:59Speaker 05

  This vibe is Portland strip club attendee.

• 1:23:01Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, yes, I, I haven't, I haven't really patronized strip clubs, but recently, but we had, there's a scene in Tires where we shot at a strip club. And they had real strippers there.

• 1:23:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:11Stavros Halkias?

  And, uh, and I was just like, oh man. Cause I, I went to strip clubs when I had no money and it wasn't that big a deal. It was like fun, you're in and out. It's like, whatever. Now I'm like, this could be a real problem.

• 1:23:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:23Stavros Halkias?

  If I get into this right now.

• 1:23:24Speaker 04

  Cause I bet they are really charmed by you and that you actually.

• 1:23:27Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, I have, I'm friends with plenty of strippers. You know what I mean? Like I'm friends, I'm friends with plenty of sex workers and we get along. It's a very similar, we have, the fuck was that?

• 1:23:38Speaker 05

  That was our next guest.

• 1:23:40Stavros Halkias?

  The Hulk, the Incredible Hulk. Um, and I, yeah, I, I've been too, I've been too busy honestly to go. But I was eldest, I, I'm, I was, I was thinking like, man, how fun would it be to like? To have like a team dinner and then go to fucking pumps afterwards. Like take, take the boys to a strip club and be like, here you go, fellas. Here's a hundred dollars in singles. You know what I mean? Like just to really give a little morale boost for the company. Um, but here's the thing I'm gonna say. It is, first of all, it's nice. It is nice that your wife, she's not nagging you. She's not, she doesn't sound like Nikki did five years ago. She's not, she's not being like, you can't go to the fucking strip club. It's nice that you're like, I think this would bother her and I'm just gonna be a good guy about it.

• 1:24:25Stavros Halkias?

  Now. You're set, I'm reading between the lines. He's like, we're going to a strip club with a bunch of funny guys and. You're, you want to not go to the strip club and also not be called the bitch.

• 1:24:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:37Speaker 05

  Might I add?

• 1:24:37Stavros Halkias?

  It's one or the other, brother. It's one or the other.

• 1:24:40Speaker 05

  He is drive snitching on the homies by doing this.

• 1:24:43Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:24:43Speaker 05

  By bringing it up to his wife or like anyone, like.

• 1:24:46Stavros Halkias?

  But did she, did he even bring it up? Did he, cause that's the thing. It's like, dude.

• 1:24:49Speaker 04

  Just do it and don't tell her.

• 1:24:51Stavros Halkias?

  I know. It's like, cause it's not real betrayal.

• 1:24:53Speaker 04

  No, it's not. Of course not.

• 1:24:55Stavros Halkias?

  You don't even know for a fact.

• 1:24:56Speaker 04

  Have to get a lap dance or anything. He's just witnessing.

• 1:24:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying. If you're just there, you can't see titties.

• 1:25:03Speaker 05

  He's a.

• 1:25:03Speaker 04

  I'm sorry. And the idea that women get jealous of their husbands, like looking at an attractive woman and.

• 1:25:10Stavros Halkias?

  They're not gonna fuck at all.

• 1:25:12Speaker 04

  You hope that your husband's attracted to women who are hot. It means he doesn't have some kind of terminal illness. He has his body and his brain. That means he's working.

• 1:25:21Stavros Halkias?

  He's real. Yeah.

• 1:25:22Speaker 04

  He can't just only be attracted to you. So I don't even get, just let him enjoy it.

• 1:25:27Speaker 05

  A doctor checking up on a guy being like, have you been ogling any fives lately? That's a symptom of something really bad.

• 1:25:34Stavros Halkias?

  Jerking off to any busted whores?

• 1:25:38Stavros Halkias?

  So I would say, dude, this is good. This is nice. This is cute of you to do. Cause it's not coming from a place of like, I'm, oh, she won't let me or what? I know I'd get in big trouble. You're trying to anticipate your wife's needs. He also.

• 1:25:50Speaker 04

  It doesn't sound like he likes it.

• 1:25:51Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't sound like he really wants to, you know, and so that's fine.

• 1:25:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:55Stavros Halkias?

  But they're gonna call you a pussy. And that's okay. That's part of being friends. First of all, you're actually doing a service to the, look at it this way. You're doing a service to the bachelor party, cause you are giving them the guy to roast for the rest of the weekend.

• 1:26:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:26:09Stavros Halkias?

  You are a very important guy here. Some guys go grab the pizzas. Some guys bring, someone gets the Airbnb, whatever. You're the guy who's such a fucking piece of, like such a coward.

• 1:26:19Speaker 05

  Whipping boy.

• 1:26:19Stavros Halkias?

  Tits scare you and they're gonna make fun of you for that. That's fine. That's what friendship is.

• 1:26:25Speaker 05

  You're the G I. Who's laying down on the barbed wire so everyone can run across the back to the beach.

• 1:26:31Stavros Halkias?

  But yes, you can't have it both ways, baby boy. Keep it going, LD.

• 1:26:38Speaker 02

  What's up, Stav? What's up, Eld? What's up, guest? Um, I've called in before with some random kind of more bullshit questions, but I actually have a moral conundrum for you. Um, I am in a group therapy for, um, GLP one management. Just all of us kind of talking about how it affects us and whatever and all ages. And some of the older women in the group love AI. Um, I guess that's not shocking. A lot of old people really love AI these days. But there's one specific girl who talks, woman, she's old, who talks about. Her AI chatbot all the time. She's named him. Um, and talks about her conversations with him and all this stuff.

• 1:27:23Speaker 02

  And in the last group, I finally just kind of snapped because I was having a bad week and she was rambling about shit that had nothing to do with the group.

• 1:27:30Stavros Halkias?

  You know what?

• 1:27:31Speaker 02

  Her AI bot. And I was like, why are we talking to AI? Like why, why, or is it your friend? Like, and I kind of pushed her on it. And the group ended up being kind of divided with people that agreed with me and people that also had chatbots. And now apparently she was so hurt and embarrassed by that, that she's, uh, wanting to leave the group. Um.

• 1:27:51Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck.

• 1:27:51Speaker 02

  We all have each other's phone numbers and stuff and. I don't want her to leave the group, but I'm not sorry. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like this is not something that I should be like, oh, I'm sorry. I hurt your feelings. Like you're destroying the planet.

• 1:28:06Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:28:07Speaker 02

  Um, and I think it's weird that you don't think that's weird. Anyways. What do you think I should do? Should I say anything to her? Should I just let her leave the group? Should I suck it up and apologize? Cause she's an old lady and it doesn't matter.

• 1:28:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:21Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah. What should I do? What would you do? All right. Bye.

• 1:28:25Stavros Halkias?

  I definitely, here's, I also have been working on this theory and I might, maybe this is the first new bit I do, uh, after, after the special comes out. But I actually don't blame old people who love AI.

• 1:28:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:38Stavros Halkias?

  Because think about the technology changes in their lives. These are people that were born without fucking running water, some of them.

• 1:28:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:46Stavros Halkias?

  These are people who went from outhouses to color, to black, to radio, black and white TVs. Like the internet itself is actually way more impressive and mind bending than AI is, right? The fact that you can, you can fucking talk to somebody in Germany like that, that's actually crazier.

• 1:29:04Speaker 05

  And I do.

• 1:29:04Stavros Halkias?

  Than the fact that, yeah, yeah, yeah. Than the fact that like, you know, we've, we've created fucking, you know, chatbots. That like can mimic voices or whatever. That's not the technology. I'm not that impressed by it, obviously, but I understand why an old person would be. So let's, like, like, like fucking, um, Jeff Daniel, no, Jeff Bridges was on Theo's podcast talking about how much he loves, how much he loves AI music. And it's like, you know what? Jeff Bridges is so fucking old. It's like, let him have it. So, and I would say there's a difference between being correct. And like correcting your opinion and handling it the right way in this context of a group, right? Cause you said you snapped, you said you were tired of it.

• 1:29:45Stavros Halkias?

  I, my strategy when dealing, when doing, you know, when, when talking about things I really fundamentally disagree with on is truly asking out of curiosity, like, why do you think that? You know what I mean? Like, what's, what's behind this? Like, it happens a lot with old people and like trans, like, you know, trans issues and like, just, just, just be like, in general, like racist, like, I mean, I've gotten into some fucking arguments with Greek people about immigration and like, it's like fucking like, like, it's crazy, like the hypocrisy of, like, I used, I, I went to hang out with my dad and like, some of his fucking friends were like, half of them are, you know, they're MAGA and it's like, you are not from here. You, you were born in a fucking village in Greece, you fucking idiot.

• 1:30:29Stavros Halkias?

  And then, and then I was like, and then I was like, do you know anybody who came in illegally? And literally a guy at the table is like, oh yeah, I mean, I snuck in, I snuck in through Canada. I mean, this kind of shit, right? And so that escalated to an argument, but it started with like, why, you know, and sometimes you can't help it. But you kind of have to make them, you kind of have to like, make them be the one who stops the civility. You can't, even though you have the, you are correct, you can't lose the civil high ground. And this is going to be a big problem, I think, in our society where it's like, I get being really mad at boomers for a lot of different stuff, but you're not going to get anything just fucking yelling at them, you know what I mean?

• 1:31:04Speaker 05

  The correct way to handle this is you have AI generate a video of John Legend telling this lady that she's a pig.

• 1:31:13Speaker 05

  Like, this is what it does.

• 1:31:16Speaker 05

  Who can play at this game, Rhonda?

• 1:31:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, I feel like the only argument I've heard for the chatbots is that it's, um, that the, the good that it brings is that it's for lonely old people that don't have anyone. So I feel like this woman is

• 1:31:29Stavros Halkias?

  Which, by the way,

• 1:31:30Speaker 04

  Old, lonely and dumb.

• 1:31:32Stavros Halkias?

  By the way, that's insane that we just seeded that as a, as a thing. I got, not an argument, me and Neil, Neil, Neil Brennan were talking about it. He was like, isn't this good for people who, who like, you know, can't have real girlfriends? And it's like, no. Just, we've atomized our society in a place where there's no community, there, all our house, everybody has to fucking drive some, everything's a fucking monstrosity suburb. No one is connected to their neighbors. There's no na, there's no third places. You don't go to a bar, you know, and see, there's Cheers, the show would not exist today. There's no bar where you know eight people that you see.

• 1:32:05Speaker 04

  Friends, Central Perk, there's no places like that, no.

• 1:32:07Stavros Halkias?

  There's nothing like that. And, and, and so, and like, that is the problem.

• 1:32:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:12Stavros Halkias?

  This is a complete Band-Aid and, and old people is another thing. It's like, American society abandons you. They, once you're not, once you can't make anybody money, you're useless in our society.

• 1:32:23Speaker 04

  Which is why you're making no money.

• 1:32:25Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly. They go hand in hand. You, what, your value is either like sexual or it's financial into the system. And it's a, once, basically, once you can stop being exploited in the ways they like, you're useless. And look, I think it's fucking weird. I think the like, uh, nursing home culture is fucking crazy. Like, like, you know, you're, Greek people don't do that shit. My mom, like, like she would never, we could afford to put my grandmother in a home, but my mom prefers to be, and like, my mom is going to live with me or my brother, like, there's no, like, there's no way we would do that shit. And so that's us, that's us basically surrendering to how fucked up our society is when we say, well, AI can help these people. It's like, no, we should help, our community should help these fucking people.

• 1:33:10Stavros Halkias?

  They offer something to us and it's like, there should be a retirement, there should be, once you're, you, you, you don't have any value, that's not when you should be cast aside and have to fucking talk to something that, you know, is making it so there's, so the, the average temperature in Montana is two fucking degrees higher. So I think what you did was fine, but well, no, I think it's

• 1:33:31Speaker 04

  She's got to apologize, but she apologizes for the way she said it, not for the content.

• 1:33:34Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. I think what you say is, I was having a rough day and if I'm going to be completely honest, I have these issues with AI. I think it's a problem environmentally. I think you're a wonderful person who deserves to have real connections with real people. And it came out the wrong way and I really value you as a member of this group. I apologize if, if I embarrassed you, that wasn't my intention. I wanted to have a conversation about it and it came out way the wrong way. Cause you don't want this personally. I think that's what you have to do. I think that's what you have to do. And, and you, you eat a little crow here and you just have to take it now about AI. Cause you fucked up, you had the high ground and you seeded it by, you know, yelling about it or whatever.

• 1:34:12Speaker 04

  Further driving her to only talk to chat robots.

• 1:34:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:15Speaker 04

  Ever, ever.

• 1:34:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, that's so true. Yeah, the chat robots, like, yeah.

• 1:34:19Speaker 05

  Claude, how do you cut someone's brakes?

• 1:34:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, man, that's fucking crazy. The AI shit is truly fucking, I mean, we are cooked. I mean, there's no

• 1:34:28Speaker 05

  My sister had a job for a little while that was literally just hanging out with old people in a nursing home. Just like talking to them for a while. It's like, that should be a federally like subsidized job.

• 1:34:37Stavros Halkias?

  We should truly go do shows at nursing homes. That would be so fun.

• 1:34:40Speaker 05

  Get booed by old people.

• 1:34:42Speaker 04

  My dad plays music in nursing homes.

• 1:34:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 1:34:45Speaker 04

  Like every, three times a week.

• 1:34:46Stavros Halkias?

  Here's why music is better. Actually, no, don't do comedy. Actually, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to fucking, you know, subject these people to stand up comedy. I can't do the Charleston to your joke. Yeah, let them listen to some doo-wop. I'm trying to get pussy in this nursing home and they're not helping. You're drying these bitches up. This shit is crazy when the sun goes down.

• 1:35:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, when you, when you can It's fuckboy island in here at night.

• 1:35:15Stavros Halkias?

  When you combine sundowning with being horny and you're just like, ah, I need pussy. You become a zombie that just wants to fuck old, old ladies. Wow, salute to her. Um, you got some, so yeah, just chill, apologize and, uh, that's fun. Maybe I should join a GLP one group. Talk to some old fat guys and become friends with them.

• 1:35:35Speaker 04

  They just talk about what it's like to lose a bunch of weight?

• 1:35:38Stavros Halkias?

  I guess so.

• 1:35:38Speaker 04

  It's a big change and a lot of judgment?

• 1:35:40Stavros Halkias?

  I suppose, yeah. I was, and by the way, you had, you did a bit on, was it the Tonight Show early on? And I was mad because I was, I was doing that bit.

• 1:35:49Speaker 04

  Oh fuck, I'm sorry, man. That sucks so much.

• 1:35:51Stavros Halkias?

  She's not even fucking fat.

• 1:35:53Speaker 04

  No, that sucks so much. You're so right. God damn it.

• 1:35:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. It was, it actually like, I, I dropped a bit and I do have an, I mean, I have some Zepbound stuff on the special that went in a different direction. It was good because it was like, that was a, that was a good take when it first came out, but I feel like, I feel like I've done, you know, they've been out for a couple of years now, so I needed to do something. It's, it came out, you know, three years, three or four years after it, so I needed a, a more personal take on it anyway. But I do remember being like, fucking

• 1:36:22Speaker 04

  Oh, that sucks so much.

• 1:36:23Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, it was good. It was a great bit.

• 1:36:25Speaker 04

  It sucks.

• 1:36:26Speaker 05

  Um, but there are like lifestyle changes that go along with the routine, right? So there has, like, group therapy is probably part of it.

• 1:36:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, listen, I, I tech, I'm not in a technical, uh, but I am in a fat, got fat actors group chat with, uh, Mike Mitchell, John Gabris and Zach Cherry. And, and we talk about, and we're all like, it started with two of us were on, like, I think Mitch and Zach were on it before. And then I got on it and then finally Gabris got on it. And then we're all talking about symptoms and like, wow, what, what, what number are you on? How did it feel there? And truly, sometimes you just want to be like, is this weird or normal? And that's pretty much all. Just like, you know, shitting too much, not shitting enough, you know what I mean? Like, like, how bad does your, you know, like, some people have no symptoms, some people have, I had like, you know, certain, like, I had really bad weird,

• 1:37:16Stavros Halkias?

  like burps for a while that were atrocious.

• 1:37:18Speaker 04

  Does it calm down other noise in your head? Just more than food noise?

• 1:37:21Stavros Halkias?

  It did at first, but I have subjected myself to such an inhuman schedule this, the, the last three months that I don't even know it. Like, it's, it's sort of like the, the visual of like, when the Cheeto in the lock where it's like, Zepbound is like fighting, is fighting how fucking nervous, I mean, the last month has been really tough and I've been so, so anxious and like, and, and, and, and like food is so my

• 1:37:46Speaker 04

  What are you anxious about? I mean, I guess getting sick and figuring out all that, that was all that.

• 1:37:51Stavros Halkias?

  What it was, what I realized was like, even if you want to do it, you can push your body way too, like, losing my voice was the ultimate, like, oh, I have no control, really. I can push past every signal my body sends me.

• 1:38:04Speaker 04

  You can go on stage and crutches, you can go on a wheelchair, you cannot go on without a voice.

• 1:38:07Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly.

• 1:38:07Speaker 04

  And that's the one thing that you can lose.

• 1:38:09Stavros Halkias?

  And if we're being honest, when I threw my back out, I should have been like, any regular person would have done, really tried to fix it because it's going to fuck you up. But I had a tour, it was right before Tires was filming, it was right before the tour. And, and I was like, I, I was so, I was on some levels disappointed in myself because after that run, that first run where I just got so fucking fat and I was like addicted to, you know, fucking weed and fucking pills and like, attention from strangers and everything, right? I gave into all my addictions. I was like, this will never happen again. And it wasn't, it's not as bad as that, but I did, I have to be honest, if I was really actually worried about my health first, I wouldn't have, I would have postponed the tour. I would have done something, right?

• 1:38:53Stavros Halkias?

  I probably couldn't have done anything with tires, but they also, they were always great about working around my schedule and whatever. But I would have had one job instead of three jobs with a fucked up back. And so I had to take cortisone shots, which are complete, they're bad for you and they don't solve anything. They just make it so you're not in pain. And so I am, on some level, I am disappointed in myself for that because like, and then losing your voice, I got, I was, I was getting sick like every other week on tour. Like, I just pushed my body to way more than I was capable of. And that was the realization where it's like, oh, even if your mind theoretically wants to do it, you just might not be able to do it. There's a such thing as pushing yourself past what you're

• 1:39:32Speaker 04

  Do you get fucked up up here? Do you get like depressed or like anxiety that's?

• 1:39:36Stavros Halkias?

  It, I actually think being this busy is a coping mechanism where I don't, because I do really well with, like, you have no time to think about anything.

• 1:39:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's why I work so hard.

• 1:39:47Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly. It's like, I can't, I can't think, I can't think, where it's like, so everything's, everything's been a, a, everything's been an emergency, including right now. I mean, we're, we're finishing the special. And this is coming out, we're pre-recording episodes when the special's, uh, out, we're not done. You know what I mean? And then, and we're pre, like, in the middle of all this, we're also shooting, like, I got a text about the calendar. Like, we're doing, we're setting up our office. Like, I'm doing eight fucking things. It's driving me fucking insane.

• 1:40:15Speaker 04

  Is it gonna slow down?

• 1:40:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, once this is done, I am true, I've said this forever and I know everybody's like, yeah, yeah, we keep hearing you're gonna take time off. Unless fucking Martin Scorsese calls me, unless fucking they like, hey, we need, we need you on Heat 2. You know what I mean? Like, there's no, I'm not doing anything until, you know, Comeback King comes out in February, this movie I shot.

• 1:40:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:40:37Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, I'll probably have to do some press for that.

• 1:40:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:40:39Stavros Halkias?

  But.

• 1:40:39Speaker 04

  That's a good break.

• 1:40:40Stavros Halkias?

  October to February.

• 1:40:41Speaker 04

  No tour?

• 1:40:42Stavros Halkias?

  No touring.

• 1:40:43Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 1:40:43Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna do stand up in New York.

• 1:40:45Speaker 04

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:40:45Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna just enjoy, I'm gonna hang out. Like, I was like, oh, I want, I wanted to go on vacation, but I kinda missed the Greek window. But then I was like, I'm just gonna go on vacation in New York. I live in the greatest city in the world at the greatest time.

• 1:40:57Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:40:57Stavros Halkias?

  And instead of working, I'm gonna go to the movies.

• 1:41:00Speaker 04

  Enjoy your.

• 1:41:00Stavros Halkias?

  I'm gonna go to the museum. I'm gonna have a nice, I'm gonna have, I'm gonna, you know, I was just in a Bourdain movie. I'm hoping I can parlay that to great restaurants.

• 1:41:06Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:41:07Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, I hope some chefs see it and are like, why don't you come over? You know what I mean? I'm try, I'm gonna try and Milk Tony.

• 1:41:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:41:12Stavros Halkias?

  As much as possible, uh, while, you know, enjoying a nice autumnal days in New York City. Uh, so, yeah. Uh, but, but I do, you know, I fucking, it's, it is.

• 1:41:22Speaker 05

  It's a bad time to pitch you on the game show I've been thinking about.

• 1:41:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:25Speaker 05

  Russian roulette meets Connect Four.

• 1:41:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's. I like that.

• 1:41:30Speaker 05

  You're gonna do it.

• 1:41:30Stavros Halkias?

  Is this the strip club question still? Did somebody ask us something else? How do we talk about this off the strip club question? Uh, you don't even fucking remember?

• 1:41:38Speaker 05

  No, it's a GLP.

• 1:41:39Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah. I was wondering what, what.

• 1:41:41Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, thank you, JP. God forbid the producer know what fucking question we're talking about. You don't know, and you clicked on something. You looked at the computer and said, I don't know.

• 1:41:53Speaker 06

  I just had the last possible question, Kudo.

• 1:41:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I see, alright.

• 1:41:56Speaker 06

  Not the last question.

• 1:41:57Stavros Halkias?

  I see, I see. The, the one to go out on. I see. Alright, well, then go ahead, man. Play us, play us something to go out on, little buddy. Something fun to go out on.

• 1:42:05Speaker 02

  I apologize. This is not a question, but this is just a concept for promoting maybe your calendar.

• 1:42:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:42:12Speaker 02

  I was watching The Sandlot the other day. I would love.

• 1:42:16Stavros Halkias?

  Children's movie.

• 1:42:16Speaker 02

  If you would do a recreation of the scene where Hamilton, the great Hambino, walks around the pool, waves hi to the ladies from bathing on the sign, and does a cannonball.

• 1:42:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:42:30Speaker 02

  That's all I have to say.

• 1:42:32Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:42:32Speaker 04

  That's helpful.

• 1:42:33Speaker 02

  I feel like that should be done at some point with your beautiful, beautiful Greek physique.

• 1:42:37Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:42:38Speaker 02

  Um, if you would like for me to play Wendy Peppercorn, please, go for it. Thank you.

• 1:42:43Stavros Halkias?

  I see. Okay, respect. So this is doing something for you. I will let it slide that you're getting horny at a children's movie.

• 1:42:48Speaker 05

  Well, it's, first of all, it is Squints who get, who pulls the move on Wendy Peppercorn.

• 1:42:53Stavros Halkias?

  I thought it was Squints, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Wendy is at least, I mean, they're little, I mean, they're both, they're, never, never mind. They're all children.

• 1:42:59Speaker 05

  She's at least sixteen.

• 1:43:01Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, I'm not.

• 1:43:02Speaker 04

  Isn't the one where he falls in the pool?

• 1:43:03Stavros Halkias?

  You did it in the Jerry Seinfeld voice?

• 1:43:04Speaker 05

  Come on!

• 1:43:06Stavros Halkias?

  She's, but she's got huge tits!

• 1:43:08Speaker 05

  I'm thirty-eight!

• 1:43:09Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, she's kinda pulling his shit up and he's like, doing this, right?

• 1:43:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:43:15Stavros Halkias?

  Now, that's interesting because we actually do, we've, me and Ben, uh, are, are creative producer here. He, uh, The Cheeks, Mr. Cheeks has directed my specials. We work together on the calendar. Ben has suggested we do a all movie, uh.

• 1:43:33Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 1:43:33Stavros Halkias?

  Calendar one year. And I think it's, won't be this year, but I think next year we will. So we'll keep that in mind, sister. Thank you for calling.

• 1:43:39Speaker 04

  Cause the problem is, if you, if you recreate that and people don't know the reference.

• 1:43:42Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:43:42Speaker 04

  Then it's just what the fuck.

• 1:43:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's like, what the hell is this?

• 1:43:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:45Speaker 05

  If you could play anyone in like a reboot of a movie.

• 1:43:48Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:43:48Speaker 05

  Who would you?

• 1:43:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's fun.

• 1:43:50Speaker 04

  Oh, man. Wait, you guys go first. Let me think for a second.

• 1:43:52Speaker 05

  Darth Maul.

• 1:43:53Stavros Halkias?

  Only brought it up so I could say that. That's so fucking funny.

• 1:44:00Speaker 04

  I do like a You've Got Mail, but with, you know how it was, like, it was a small bookshop against like a Barnes and Noble. Now it'd be Barnes and Noble against Amazon.

• 1:44:07Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. That's so funny how we've moved on.

• 1:44:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:10Stavros Halkias?

  Where you're like, I'm a good guy. I'm shopping at Best Buy. I'm getting DVD from Best Buy. The thing that killed DVD stores?

• 1:44:19Speaker 04

  Yes, yes!

• 1:44:20Stavros Halkias?

  I know, we're, we are so fucked. Capitalism is killing us. We're the fucking toad in the boiling pot. I would do.

• 1:44:27Speaker 05

  Not emailing a guy, you're like sending him relentless texts.

• 1:44:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're sending him snaps. Um, I, for, I mean, my answer is so easy. I stole the, I, if, I stole the graphics from it and kind of the special even, special title. It's Uncle Buck. I wanna play Uncle Buck so bad.

• 1:44:45Speaker 04

  Yes. Oh, my God.

• 1:44:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's.

• 1:44:47Speaker 04

  That makes sense.

• 1:44:48Stavros Halkias?

  I love, I mean, obviously John Candy, like.

• 1:44:50Speaker 04

  Get people on that right now.

• 1:44:51Stavros Halkias?

  When we were talking, when we're, when we, when you were talking about like talent versus hard work.

• 1:44:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:56Stavros Halkias?

  I was kinda thinking like, I'll never, no matter how hard I work, I'm never John Candy or Chris Farley. I'm trying to get, I'm gonna do my own, but like, there's just some people who are such supernovas of like.

• 1:45:05Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:45:05Stavros Halkias?

  Of like natural talent that.

• 1:45:07Speaker 05

  Candy, maybe. Farley's tough.

• 1:45:09Stavros Halkias?

  Farley, I don't got that.

• 1:45:10Speaker 05

  Farley, the physical capabilities are the same.

• 1:45:11Stavros Halkias?

  Candy's a much better actor. Like, I'm not a great actor. I'm an okay actor.

• 1:45:13Speaker 04

  No, you're great.

• 1:45:15Stavros Halkias?

  Candy is like unbelievable. He just has something so innate and, and.

• 1:45:18Speaker 05

  Planes, trains, and automobiles, he kinda breaks your heart, but.

• 1:45:20Stavros Halkias?

  He's so good in that, dude. That's an incredible.

• 1:45:23Speaker 04

  You could, this is, that's gonna happen.

• 1:45:25Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. But, you know, we'll see. The, the, what was the other one? The Invitation?

• 1:45:30Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:45:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we'll do that. Yeah, I'm both gonna be, you think I can be John Candy and I can also be.

• 1:45:34Speaker 04

  Seth Rogen in it.

• 1:45:35Stavros Halkias?

  Seth Rogen in The Invitation.

• 1:45:36Speaker 04

  Hundred percent.

• 1:45:36Stavros Halkias?

  I'll take both of those. Uh, anyway, that is gonna do it for us. Thank you. Nikki, thank you so much. So.

• 1:45:43Speaker 04

  Ah, thank you.

• 1:45:43Stavros Halkias?

  So happy to have you on.

• 1:45:45Speaker 05

  Come on.

• 1:45:45Stavros Halkias?

  McDade, don't get used to being on the free ones. You're going, you're going right back to the Patreon after this.

• 1:45:51Speaker 05

  He said, don't get comfortable, and I didn't.

• 1:45:52Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yes, you're on tour right now. Go wa, go see Nikki in person.

• 1:46:00Speaker 04

  All new material.

• 1:46:01Stavros Halkias?

  All new material. The special's out. Oh, it's been out for a while. Watch that.

• 1:46:05Speaker 05

  Plo Plo, baby.

• 1:46:06Stavros Halkias?

  You've got a ton of specials, uh, on tour, like, the next Golden Globes, these.

• 1:46:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's out in January.

• 1:46:13Stavros Halkias?

  Mr. McDade.

• 1:46:13Speaker 04

  Doing that again.

• 1:46:14Stavros Halkias?

  Will be writing, uh, for those. And, you know, hopefully, hopefully this year, me and Zach Cherry will do a bit about. Oh, you know, the other one I wanted to make fun, to, to mock was Ethan Hawke in, in, um.

• 1:46:24Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:25Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, the, the fucking guy who was such a, he was like the biggest piece ass in Hollywood. His big stretch is, what if I couldn't get pussy? He wins a, he wins an, he wins an Oscar, he wins, he gets an Oscar nomination over Jesse Plemons, by the way, who should have been nominated. Uh, he gets an Oscar nomination for like, that, what if I was a short, bald guy who couldn't fuck a beautiful woman? That was a big acting challenge for him. Fuck you. You're a legend. I love you. You're so good at acting, Ethan Hawke. But come on, man. Fat, a little bald guy couldn't, a fat, a bisexual little bald guy couldn't have played that part? Anyway, that's gonna do it for us, folks. And we will see you next time. Bye-bye.