William Shatner | Club Random with Bill Maher

Our first guest ever William Shatner returns for a raucous and hilarious talk about how William's distinctive speech pattern would sound during intimate moments, the floating garbage heap in the ocean, why the environment wasn’t an issue in the election, the future of sanctuary cities, how food has no place in bed, how William and Bill never missed a performance, William’s Amsterdam experience, the Hollywood music party scene that they both missed, the seal that lives on Bill’s earthquake boat, and the joy of cutting your toenails. Go to https://www. RadioactiveMedia.com or text RANDOM at 511511 to save up to 50%, today! Go to https://www. ZipRecruiter.com/RANDOM to try it FOR FREE! Head to https://www.rhone.com/RANDOM and use promo code RANDOM to get 20% OFF your entire order. Go to https://www. SimpliSafe.com/RANDOM to get 60% OFF any new system with select professional monitoring plan Go to https://www.zbiotics.com/random and use code RANDOM for 15% OFF Follow Club Random on IG: @ClubRandomPodcast Follow Bill on IG: @BillMaher Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Watch Club Random on YouTube: https://bit.ly/ClubRandomYouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you. You're having a midlife crisis. I'm not ready for that.

• 0:11Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 0:12Speaker 01

  I'm older. I'm wiser.

• 0:15Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 0:24Speaker 00

  Dexter Resurrection. New season now streaming on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Glimmer, the new eau de parfum by Estee Lauder. An amber floral fragrance with a gourmand twist with notes of macaron rose accord, amber embrace accord, and shimmering patchouli. A glimmer is a small, unexpected moment of joy that shifts your energy and how you feel. A scent to be felt, remembered, and shared. Discover more at estee lauder.com. What makes you glimmer?

• 0:59Speaker 03

  Host Thanksgiving with industry-leading quality standards from Whole Foods Market. There are no antibiotics in their meat department, ever, so carve up turkey and spiral cut ham with peace of mind. Shop organic sides like stuffing mix and cranberry sauce from 365 Brand. And guess what? All their delectable pies are made with no high-fructose corn syrup. Gourmet Thanksgiving flavors with the quality you want, only at Whole Foods Market.

• 1:29Speaker 04

  It just wrote it the way it thinks I talk. And I don't talk that way. No, not at all.

• 1:38Speaker 04

  Size of Texas, out there. Confluence of- It was, it's got bigger. Now it's the size of Alaska. So is Texas.

• 1:49Speaker 04

  Bill?

• 1:51Bill Maher?

  You in your normal seat over there?

• 1:53Speaker 04

  Hello Billy.

• 1:54Bill Maher?

  It's becoming a habit, I'm glad to say.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  I'm so glad to see you.

• 1:57Bill Maher?

  We're like co-hosts.

• 1:58Speaker 04

  I've been watching your show as much as I can.

• 2:02Bill Maher?

  As much as you can? What's preventing you? What happens during the week when you can't?

• 2:07Speaker 04

  Like making a living and...

• 2:09Bill Maher?

  Oh, right. You travel with... You have a...

• 2:11Speaker 04

  I travel so much.

• 2:13Bill Maher?

  Right. You have your Netflix show?

• 2:16Speaker 04

  I have the Unexplained.

• 2:19Bill Maher?

  You know what it reminds me of? I mean, you're perfect for that and many things, but remember Peter Graves?

• 2:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:26Bill Maher?

  Had that show where he kinda did a...

• 2:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. Everybody's done one over the years.

• 2:31Bill Maher?

  Well, it takes a certain gravitas to do a show, to be the host of a show like that.

• 2:37Speaker 04

  And you have to be... I've discovered the way of narrating it, because they give me... I do a cold read, really. I don't want to see it until it's time to record it. And then I'll do a cold read and enjoy the story like you would enjoy... Hopefully, you would enjoy seeing it. So, I'll do it twice, but the first one is the one I bank on.

• 3:02Bill Maher?

  What do you think when you see like Shatner impressionists who do the... You know, I mean, it's like...

• 3:10Speaker 04

  I could tell you the funniest thing about that that I've ever had. I mean, yeah, I'd say to my... Woo, is that me? So, Chatbox, okay? So, you could tell Chatbox, "Write me a story in the way of that guy on Poe." And the... whatever it is. And then it says, "On a dank morning with a cloud overhanging." And it gives you what? So, I said to it, "Write me the story of having an interview with Bill Maher. Write me the story in a Shatner way."

• 3:47Speaker 04

  And this story comes out on a day, Monday, on a... It didn't write it like the way I write. It just wrote it the way it thinks I talk, and I don't talk that way.

• 4:00Bill Maher?

  No, not at all. But it's, you know why that is.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  I fell down.

• 4:06Bill Maher?

  You know what happens with famous people like you and impressionists is that somebody does, like the first guy who does an impression, like, do you remember Will Jordan's Ed Sullivan?

• 4:17Speaker 04

  Did every, oh, everybody. He did everybody.

• 4:20Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but he did Ed Sullivan first.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 4:22Bill Maher?

  And then everybody did Will Jordan's Ed Sullivan.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Oh, right.

• 4:27Bill Maher?

  So like, it becomes.

• 4:29Speaker 04

  The way of doing it.

• 4:30Bill Maher?

  It becomes an.

• 4:31Speaker 04

  An impression of an impression.

• 4:32Bill Maher?

  Of an impression.

• 4:33Speaker 04

  Right. I hadn't even thought of that.

• 4:35Bill Maher?

  Yeah. But at home, you don't actually, like during sex, you don't be like, honey, I'm coming now. I mean, that's not.

• 4:43Speaker 04

  No.

• 4:43Bill Maher?

  That wouldn't sound like you during sex, would it? Well, if I was excited.

• 4:49Bill Maher?

  I don't remember. Scratch my balls, you know, that's not.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  Really? I should have said that.

• 5:02Bill Maher?

  Well, it's.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Well, often really.

• 5:03Bill Maher?

  It's good to have you back.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  Well, it's a delight to be here and this night of all nights. The day, the day after.

• 5:11Bill Maher?

  A post-election, yeah. You know, I feel like it's, for some people, it's very reminiscent of 2016. I certainly was much more apoplectic then. Perhaps I should be again.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  Did you see it coming?

• 5:30Bill Maher?

  No, I picked her. I, I stuck with my prediction right to the end. I thought she was gonna win. I thought America generally moves forward and that they had enough of, of Trump. You know, just, just drama. And I mean, I won't go into, first of all, Bill, it's depressing to me mostly because I don't want to do it again because I'm bored. The, the worst thing you can do to me is bore me. I've done all the jokes. I, I did all them first. I did Trump, the con man editorial. I did Trump, the mafia boss. I did it all before anybody. I'm the one who said he wasn't gonna concede when nobody was on that page. I've been there, done that. I don't want this series. I've seen this series. I want a new show with new characters.

• 6:15Bill Maher?

  So that bugs me the most is that there's nothing left to say, you know? I, I've said it all. You can't get me to think more than I already do. That Trump shouldn't be president.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  Well, what we now have to think about is how to mitigate. Some of the, what, what some of us think are the worst things like.

• 6:36Bill Maher?

  Well, I, I think first off, first is congratulations. You only won, you won big.

• 6:44Speaker 04

  He won big.

• 6:44Bill Maher?

  That's, everybody should get props just for success. Despite the, you know, the vulgarities and the, you know.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  Maybe because of vulgarities.

• 6:56Bill Maher?

  Maybe because, but also my mantra, losers look in the mirror.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  Well, I think, I think that's what everybody has to do. The thing that worries me the most is global warming. You can, you know, the wrong financial advice and get rid of whatever government agencies you want to get rid of. You can always put them back in four years later. But you can't lose four years of global warming. I mean, we're seeing these storms hit now. And once in a thousand years, storms are now hitting every other year, every year. And it's not like you could say, well, it's, it's gonna get better. It's not.

• 7:44Bill Maher?

  It's very funny that you mention that because, you know, the hardest thing to write on the week of an election, because I have to start it on Monday for the show on Friday and the election is Tuesday. I can't write Monday night who won the election and I'm sure. So I said, this week, what I want to do and what I'm gonna do Friday night is a piece about global warming, about the oceans. Because the only time the floating garbage patch in the middle of the ocean was raised was by the insult comic when he made the joke about it and said it was like Puerto Rico and everybody flipped out about that. And my thing is, yeah, ha ha, but.

• 8:26Bill Maher?

  It's really a sad commentary that neither party mentions this giant problem.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Size of Texas out there and confluence of.

• 8:35Bill Maher?

  It was, it's got bigger. Now it's the size of Alaska.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  So is Texas.

• 8:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  And everyone. All those people moving there.

• 8:43Bill Maher?

  Everyone in it.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:45Bill Maher?

  But you love all the states. You're beloved everywhere, right? I mean, you're beyond politics.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  Am I?

• 8:52Bill Maher?

  Don't you think?

• 8:53Speaker 04

  Well, I hope so. I'll take your word.

• 8:54Bill Maher?

  I don't think people see you as.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  A political person.

• 8:58Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, as someone who, you know, they may imagine, okay, he lives and works in Hollywood and Canadian and, you know, probably a liberal, but, you know, I don't feel like most people in this country hate, especially the conservatives, quite frankly, are much more tolerant of people they don't like. It's the liberals who are purists, especially the ones in this town. They're the ones who like, if you don't agree with me 1 million percent, I don't even want to know you. That's one of the reasons they lost. They have a bad attitude.

• 9:36Speaker 04

  I can't, I don't know why, why the Democrats lost. I don't, I don't understand why the Democrats lost.

• 9:44Bill Maher?

  Well, people will be writing books about it for years, many reasons. Part of it was, you know, just Biden should not have stayed on so long.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  That I understand, but inflation, prices have come down, the economy is good. I mean, I don't know why they voted against her, against the party.

• 10:10Bill Maher?

  As, oh, well, I certainly could go on and on about that. But basically, you know, people, she was not a great candidate, let's be honest. When she said, when they asked.

• 10:24Speaker 04

  Why isn't she a great candidate? She combined several trends of thought here, black, woman.

• 10:35Bill Maher?

  That's not, that's not a candidate. Those are. You know, that's identity politics. That's one of the Democrats.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  Those are elements.

• 10:42Bill Maher?

  Those are, they're, but nobody elects. I mean, yeah, people are tribal. They, there are some people who will vote just for the person who looks like them or is like them. But obviously, I think this proves, you've got to go a lot further than that. You can't just be woman, black person. I mean, Trump got a quarter of black men. That's 25%. You know, he didn't do much better in generally because the women are very much against him. But he killed it with Latinos. If there's any great irony in this election, is that the guy who came down the escalator 10 years ago, talking about the rapists, they keep giving him more of their votes.

• 11:26Bill Maher?

  And again, I understand this.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Why? Tell me, tell me what you understand.

• 11:31Bill Maher?

  I will. Democrats don't understand their own constituencies.

• 11:36Bill Maher?

  If you're a Mexican-American, who do you fear taking your job? The guy who just came in through the border. Of course, they like the guy who says, "I'm going to keep everybody out."

• 11:48Speaker 04

  But he didn't say, "I'm keeping everybody out." "I'm going to send everybody out."

• 11:52Bill Maher?

  Okay, but he, but the Democrats could have won this election in a walk, I think. Not a walk, but I think they could have won it if Biden got out earlier. They had a true primary season to find the best candidate. Not just one whose turn was it, who, by the way, before they anointed her, nobody was sort of on the page that she was very good at being a candidate or.

• 12:15Speaker 04

  She failed the first time.

• 12:17Bill Maher?

  Okay, so if they had done that, and then the pointless reversing of Trump's border policy, which was remain in Mexico and not everything counts as asylum.

• 12:33Bill Maher?

  The Democrats' fatal flaw is they always have to look like the good people. So they reversed that and let in too many people. Not that we shouldn't be a nation of immigrants, but it just was a lawless shitshow for years. And it was, and people noticed. And then they started to send them, you know, they so many, the Democrats' hypocrisy was called out because the people in the northern cities who were like, "We welcome everybody." And then the governors on the border states were like, "Okay, well, here they are. Enjoy this fuss load."

• 13:05Speaker 04

  What hasn't been talked about to the extent, it will be, is the unrest, given global warming, of millions of people wanting to get somewhere else. And somewhere else is like the United States. There are millions of people that will, in the near future,

• 13:25Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 13:25Speaker 04

  want to leave their country because they can't live in it.

• 13:29Bill Maher?

  Yes, and look, I mean, it's gonna happen here, too. We could lose, we could lose Florida.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Well, we will.

• 13:37Bill Maher?

  And if anybody knows about losing Florida, it's Democrats.

• 13:43Bill Maher?

  By the way, Florida, which used to be a swing state.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:47Bill Maher?

  Is now just bright red, and you know why it is?

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Him?

• 13:51Bill Maher?

  No.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  The governor?

• 13:53Bill Maher?

  The influx of Latinos.

• 13:56Bill Maher?

  So, again, the irony of the Democrats, the Republicans accusing the Democrats, I don't think the Democrats are doing this, of purposely letting in all these Latin people to vote for Democrats. And then, you know, in Florida, it worked out the other way.

• 14:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:15Bill Maher?

  They voted for the Republicans.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  Well, the best-laid plans everywhere, anytime, anywhere. What did he say? You have a plan, you get hit in the face and...

• 14:24Bill Maher?

  That's Mike Tyson, yeah. Oh, yeah, he's fighting Jake Paul. Let's go. I bet you, I bet you you could get to him.

• 14:32Speaker 04

  You wanna go?

• 14:34Bill Maher?

  Yeah, where is it? Is it like Vegas?

• 14:35Speaker 04

  I believe it's Vegas.

• 14:37Bill Maher?

  You wanna go to that fight? It's like, oh.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  But we have to go.

• 14:42Bill Maher?

  I can't. It's the night before my last show of the season. Oh, no, not the last show. It's the night before a show. It's the fifteenth of this month and I.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  Oh, it is.

• 14:50Bill Maher?

  On the sixteenth, yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 04

  You know where you should go with me? I'm going to the Antarctic Christmas week.

• 14:58Bill Maher?

  Oh. Yeah, let me start packing now, Bill. Yeah, that will happen never.

• 15:04Speaker 04

  You're never gonna go to the Antarctic and see what you can't see anywhere else.

• 15:08Bill Maher?

  I don't go to, I don't go east of La Brea. I, I, I, I'm.

• 15:13Speaker 04

  Yes, you do. You fly all over the country.

• 15:15Bill Maher?

  I'm kidding. But, um, no, no, I definitely don't go to rough places like that. The fact that you do is just astounding. And you look the same as when you were here before. You don't seem to age so much.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  Well, it's happening. It's all internal.

• 15:31Bill Maher?

  Well, yeah. Oh, man. Are you, did you watch that movie, The Substance?

• 15:38Speaker 04

  No.

• 15:38Bill Maher?

  Have you ever heard of it with Demi Moore and?

• 15:41Speaker 04

  I, I've heard about her in it, yeah.

• 15:44Bill Maher?

  I mean, it's the kind of performance where the critics, first of all, she is fantastic. Uh, but they're all, you know, they, they do love it in Hollywood and love to call you brave when you're known as a beautiful woman, which she is, and then you get ugly on camera. Uh, or, or, or have the balls to, you know, show yourself as you really are without makeup. And the movie is about this woman who is in her early sixties and she's got a exercise show and they're replacing her because, you know, come on, you're sixty-one now. We need someone younger.

• 16:24Bill Maher?

  We can get to why that's kinda hypocritical in ways, but. So she hears about this substance, um, that you can take and you inject yourself and what happens is another you.

• 16:40Bill Maher?

  Like your back opens up and another you comes out.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 16:43Bill Maher?

  Who's her like at twenty-two.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  Who plays that?

• 16:46Bill Maher?

  Margaret Qualley.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  Oh, I see. It is an actual actress.

• 16:49Bill Maher?

  Yes. And then in the movie, you have, you get like one week. You're, you're not two different people. You're the same person. You're like sharing this substance that you shoot each other up with, but the.

• 17:02Speaker 04

  What's happened to the original body?

• 17:04Bill Maher?

  It lies dormant for a week while the other one goes out in the world. And then they switch and it has to, you have to do it this way. And of course, what happens is that it breaks down and they do see each other as rivals. And they do start hurting each other in different ways and she's using a boy and she's doing.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  Okay, so let me tell you. Wha- wha- you're enunciation of that story. And now I'm in the position of, of, of a producer. I've got money and I want to make a film. And you tell me that story. And I say to you, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. It would never go. It's just impossible to do and I don't think it'll go. And I'm not touching that. Given the milieu of what's happened in Hollywood now, where things are like very trepidation, nobody's spending money, nobody's buying anything. Very few people are making content because they had bought so much prior that there's a real dearth of, of, uh, work going on here.

• 18:06Speaker 04

  That story told to me in this day, day and age, I would have said. I, if they said to me, the, me Shatner, I would say, that's crazy. You'll never sell that story.

• 18:19Bill Maher?

  Why? I think it's kind of, I think it's, first of all, it's supposed to be a commentary on how.

• 18:25Speaker 04

  On the striving for you.

• 18:26Bill Maher?

  Well, yes, exactly. On, on how much we worship you, which I don't think is exactly blowing the cover off a big secret that people like good-looking young people, certainly for that dimension. What I find a little hypocritical is you can't kind of have it both ways. Like the young people are always saying about my generation, the boomers. Move over. You guys are hanging on too long. We. You're blocking the way for us. And then this movie is about, well, they're doing that. They're moving out the 61 year old. No, boo, that's bad. How dare you throw her out to the... So you can't have it both ways. You know, they're bringing precisely what they ask. It's here's the young, hot one now.

• 19:09Bill Maher?

  And, but I mean, the director obviously wanted this movie to be tough to watch. I mean, there's just a lot of like close ups of decaying flesh and stuff like that. This is obviously was intentional.

• 19:25Speaker 00

  Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you.

• 19:32Speaker 06

  You're having a midlife crisis.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  I'm not ready for this.

• 19:35Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 19:36Speaker 01

  I'm older. I'm wiser.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  Dexter Resurrection, new season now streaming on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Glimmer, the new eau de parfum by Estee Lauder. An amber floral fragrance with a gourmand twist with notes of macaron rose accord, amber embrace accord, and shimmering patchouli. A glimmer is a small, unexpected moment of joy that shifts your energy and how you feel. A scent to be felt, remembered, and shared. Discover more at estee lauder.com. What makes you glimmer?

• 20:23Speaker 03

  Host Thanksgiving with industry leading quality standards from Whole Foods Market. There are no antibiotics in their meat department ever. So carve up turkey and spiral cut ham with peace of mind. Shop organic sides like stuffing mix and cranberry sauce from 365 brand. And guess what? All their delectable pies are made with no high fructose corn syrup. Gourmet Thanksgiving flavors with the quality you want, only at Whole Foods Market.

• 20:53Bill Maher?

  It's, it's, it's interesting. It's, it's, it's, it's good. I, I, I think that they, you know, to do a movie about something anymore, even if I don't agree with everything, but it's an attempt. That's much more 70s type thinking, movie making than what usually goes on today.

• 21:10Speaker 04

  I, I, I flipped through the.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  Through the television.

• 21:17Bill Maher?

  Movie channels?

• 21:18Speaker 04

  Movie. Well, I I'm looking. What do I feel like looking at tonight?

• 21:23Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 21:23Speaker 04

  Eh? What do you feel like looking at tonight? And the days, especially this whole last several months with all that was on television was uh, politics and dire things are happening.

• 21:37Bill Maher?

  Well, no, no, if you not, if you flip to the movie channels, you'd see fifty movies.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  No, so what my point is, what do you feel like seeing to get away from all the things that are, cause you gotta keep, stay abreast of the news. You're, you're part of the life, so you have to watch what's happening in the life.

• 21:54Bill Maher?

  I certainly do for my living.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Well, of course.

• 21:56Bill Maher?

  You know.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  And I do for.

• 21:58Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you're, you're a citizen.

• 21:59Speaker 04

  Uh, exactly. Well, yes, uh.

• 22:02Bill Maher?

  Not, not of this country.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  But, but in looking for something to escape that.

• 22:10Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  The last thing I wanna see is that ugliness. So I find myself looking at these stupid, you know, uh, five heroes saving the world.

• 22:20Bill Maher?

  But there's a million things in between. Y- yes, I.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Cooking, cooking shows.

• 22:26Bill Maher?

  Uh, you don't have to go all the way to cooking shows to get away from the news. Just watch, I mean, any movie that's ever been made, any television show that's ever been made. I mean, this is just this like everything that's ever been made can be seen. So why do you have to watch a cooking show?

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Well, be- because some of those cook, I wondered that myself.

• 22:48Bill Maher?

  Cause it soothes you.

• 22:50Speaker 04

  It's soothing, but also.

• 22:52Bill Maher?

  Well, you're a foodie.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  But it's of interest. What's going into, how is it being made? What is it being done? Where, or redoing a house?

• 23:01Bill Maher?

  Remember at dinner, you were mad at me because I ordered the same thing as you? And you were like, what are you doing? We need variety, you know, like, I think you wanted to eat off my plate so you could have another type of food to sample. I was like, you idiot.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  Well, you know, mul- multiple sensations, it's important.

• 23:20Bill Maher?

  Uh, well, but not at the same time. I mean, you don't wanna mix food and sex. That's always a big mistake, don't you think?

• 23:27Speaker 04

  I, I, I've never understood that. Have you?

• 23:30Bill Maher?

  No, it's stupid.

• 23:31Speaker 04

  Have you, have you ever?

• 23:33Bill Maher?

  We, we all do everything when we.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  No, no, no. Not everybody puts syrup on their genitals.

• 23:39Bill Maher?

  No, not.

• 23:39Speaker 04

  Or cake.

• 23:40Bill Maher?

  Well. You know, if it's on your genitals, you're not the one licking it off. So, you know, it's not, it doesn't bother me that much.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  What does it be?

• 23:50Bill Maher?

  But I don't, I don't remember ever having syrup on my genitals, but I do.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  Did you ever have food?

• 23:54Bill Maher?

  I do remember the song by Victor Mon, syrup on my genitals. What a, what a, what a crooner.

• 24:00Speaker 04

  He did it.

• 24:01Bill Maher?

  Oh, my God.

• 24:02Speaker 04

  It was a syrupy way of doing it.

• 24:03Bill Maher?

  Mel Tormé also did it in later years in The Velvet Fog. Yes, he was. Syrup on my balls.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Are we the only ones who would remember Mel Tormé? Is he?

• 24:14Bill Maher?

  And Victor Mon.

• 24:15Speaker 04

  And Victor Mon.

• 24:17Bill Maher?

  And elections. Do you know that, like, one of the most popular, maybe the most, I think, yesterday, Google searches was, who is running in the United States election? Like, tons of people didn't know Biden had dropped out. Yeah, that's the country you're living in.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  I hate to think of it that way.

• 24:39Bill Maher?

  But Bill, you can, you can just search, no, search, just, like, pick a, like, if you go to any of the, streaming services that have movies and you go to search, just put in, like, any letter, random, like, B, and then BA, and then all the movies will start coming up that begin with that, and you'll go, oh, Balls for the Holidays, I remember that one. And, I mean, it's just so easy to find something that's a little more satisfying than just.

• 25:09Speaker 04

  I, I, uh, The Black and Whites, you know, the Who Dunne's, uh, they were good, but I, I just, I, I need a movie tailored to my mood, and that's difficult to do.

• 25:22Bill Maher?

  Right. Yeah, I also like movies with pretty people in them, I'm not gonna lie. If I'm gonna stare at the screen, you know, um, because not all the TV I consume, am I looking directly at the screen. I have a TV in the kitchen and I'm making food and I love that.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  That's no way to see a movie.

• 25:41Bill Maher?

  That, that, well, it depends on the movie. It's on how much I wanna see it.

• 25:45Speaker 04

  Well, there you are.

• 25:46Bill Maher?

  Or if I've seen it before. Like, I got The Revenant on in the kitchen now.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Do you look at a movie with a technical, uh, attitude as well? That's a good shot, that was, I wonder how they got that?

• 25:58Bill Maher?

  Sometimes, I mean, I made my living as an actor mostly in the eighties and certainly did enough television and movies. To understand it and remember it and glad I'm not still doing it. But I don't want to. I did have a long discussion with Quentin Tarantino here once about the movie.

• 26:18Speaker 04

  I was here with him when he was.

• 26:20Bill Maher?

  Yeah, the movie 1917, the World War One movie.

• 26:24Speaker 04

  I loved that movie.

• 26:24Bill Maher?

  I did too. And.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  How did they do that movie?

• 26:27Bill Maher?

  That's, see, this is, see, this was my point to Quentin and he felt I was overly impressed with it. And maybe I was because he's a cinematic genius. So to him, it was no big trick. To us, it was.

• 26:42Speaker 04

  It's a big trick.

• 26:43Bill Maher?

  I think so too.

• 26:44Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 26:44Bill Maher?

  No, I, he allowed that, but he just thought I was a little overly impressed with the one-shot thing. And I understa-, I, I got where they changed the magazine when he goes in and this, it turns to black. I get it. Hitchcock did the same thing with.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Absolutely Hitchcock did it all the time.

• 26:59Bill Maher?

  Well, not all the time, he did it in rope.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  And, and I'll tell you who else.

• 27:02Bill Maher?

  Rope.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  In rope.

• 27:04Bill Maher?

  That's the movie.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  He'd go into a trunk.

• 27:06Bill Maher?

  Yes. Or he'd go right behind Jimmy Stewart's back.

• 27:09Speaker 04

  Right, and pull back.

• 27:10Bill Maher?

  I mean, but that's the technology. The magazine doesn't last more than like 40 minutes. So you've got it.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  11 minutes on a magazine.

• 27:19Speaker 04

  But now that doesn't, that, that isn't a, a problem.

• 27:23Bill Maher?

  No.

• 27:23Speaker 04

  Electrical.

• 27:24Bill Maher?

  But just the, I mean, to give the audience that point of view where there's never a cut. It just brings you so much more into the story like, wow, I'm really here because it's continuous as our life is.

• 27:39Speaker 04

  Orson Welles did a lot of it too.

• 27:41Bill Maher?

  One shot?

• 27:43Speaker 04

  Where he, yeah.

• 27:45Bill Maher?

  What?

• 27:47Bill Maher?

  Not Citizen Kane?

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Uh, not Citizen Kane, but what was the other one that he?

• 27:52Bill Maher?

  Magnificent Amberson?

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Magnificent Amberson.

• 27:54Bill Maher?

  Is one shot?

• 27:55Speaker 04

  And also, uh, uh, the, some of the gangster movies. Our, our friend, director, uh, gangster.

• 28:08Bill Maher?

  Clint Eastwood.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  Gangster. Gangster.

• 28:11Bill Maher?

  Ice Cube.

• 28:15Bill Maher?

  Edward G. Robinson.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  Well.

• 28:17Bill Maher?

  Jimmy Cagney.

• 28:18Speaker 04

  No, no, the director of.

• 28:20Bill Maher?

  Martin Scorsese?

• 28:21Speaker 04

  Martin Scorsese. Did a long, a long shot.

• 28:24Bill Maher?

  I feel like we're a married couple that just lost the Newleywood game.

• 28:31Bill Maher?

  But it, I mean, it's a, it's just an amazing movie that, and some of the shots, remember the, the one where he sees a plane, they're on the ground and you see it having a dogfight in the distance? And without, again, without cutting, the plane has a dogfight up in the sky and then crashes right where these actors were looking at it, pointing at it in the sky. And then it continues as they drag the guy out of the plane and then he kills.

• 29:00Speaker 04

  How did they, well, they must have super, most they did it.

• 29:03Bill Maher?

  And this is, this, don't get me started on award shows, but this is, you know, just to me, evidence number 392.

• 29:13Speaker 04

  Well.

• 29:13Bill Maher?

  That they're full of shit because a movie like that and The Revenant, which I've always thought should have won best picture because they took the art of filmmaking to another level. That has to be better than just, it's the kind of movie that made us feel good about ourselves and, and, and.

• 29:32Speaker 04

  I absolutely agree with you, but especially there are awards for that. It's taking the technology that everybody knows, I mean, it's advanced, but super in position on special effects, but taking it to such a, like that, that scene of a, a dogfight going on while the characters, it, it's like, that's not important, what's important is down here, no, that's not important, but that's, oh my God, it's important. It's so, it's so.

• 30:01Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  An intelligent use of existing, uh, technology.

• 30:05Bill Maher?

  Well, I could think of, after I watched that was the very first. Movie that won the Academy Award was Wings.

• 30:13Speaker 04

  Right.

• 30:14Bill Maher?

  Howard Hughes.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 30:16Bill Maher?

  Scorsese made the movie about Howard Hughes. And that's the whole first act is.

• 30:22Speaker 04

  No, I've forgotten that a long time.

• 30:23Bill Maher?

  Yes, the Aviator.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:25Bill Maher?

  DiCaprio.

• 30:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:27Bill Maher?

  And he's playing Howard Hughes. And Howard Hughes is making a movie and spending more money than anyone has ever made on a movie. The year is like nineteen twenty eight. And they shoot it and cost like a million dollars, which was like a trillion dollars back then. And then he, it's bad. He doesn't like it. And he reshoots it because they needed clouds to give a sense of movement of the planes. Otherwise, it didn't look like it was real.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 30:53Bill Maher?

  You have to see perspective.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  Right.

• 30:55Bill Maher?

  So they reshoot it with clouds. But like, to think that that was the first movie about a World War One plane in a dogfight. And then we move over to nineteen seventeen and saying, wow, the progress.

• 31:08Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 31:09Bill Maher?

  That, you know, we, we do not acknowledge progress in this country well.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Well, I'm, I'm a, I'm a living, I'm a living.

• 31:18Bill Maher?

  Yes, that's it. You're living.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  I.

• 31:21Bill Maher?

  That's not guy greedy.

• 31:22Speaker 04

  I worked with cameras that were the size of bears with heat coming out of them from tubes and fans inside the cameras to dissipate the heat. So when a camera came in for a close up, it was like a breathing monster. People wilted. When a television camera came in for a close up now, they're, you know, they're tiny cameras with long lenses and you don't know they're there. And marks you had to hit. Now you don't have to. It's lit in such a way. I mean, it's just the difference between the technology of, of twenty, thirty, forty years.

• 32:00Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 32:00Speaker 04

  Is the technology of.

• 32:03Bill Maher?

  I, I didn't, I did not know that about the bear camera.

• 32:06Speaker 04

  Oh, my Lord.

• 32:07Bill Maher?

  And.

• 32:08Speaker 04

  They were gigantic. They were, there was a big as a chair, bigger than.

• 32:11Bill Maher?

  And they emitted heat?

• 32:13Speaker 04

  They had tubes that had, you remember radios?

• 32:17Bill Maher?

  So this is like when you did, what's the one with the, you know, the Twilight Zone?

• 32:22Speaker 04

  Oh, that was long before Twilight Zone.

• 32:25Bill Maher?

  Before Twilight Zone?

• 32:26Speaker 04

  Oh, I was, I was active in Canada when, when, when television came in. We didn't know what it was.

• 32:34Bill Maher?

  Canada has television?

• 32:38Speaker 04

  They won, Canada won all the awards for radio in those early in the 50s, the early year. And then one day, about a year or two after it came into the States, Canada said, we must have television. They kind of rearranged a radio studio to, to have some lights and a camera in it. And I was a part of it. And it, and I wrote for it as well. I met my first wife on a show that I wrote, that she, I cast her as the actress. Um, lousy show, not a great marriage.

• 33:13Bill Maher?

  Cast her, married her. That sounds a little puffed daddy-ish.

• 33:17Speaker 04

  Doesn't it? Yeah. Uh, but, but the technology, which I'm a witness to, is mind-boggling.

• 33:25Bill Maher?

  It is. In, in every dimension of life.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  Cancer.

• 33:29Bill Maher?

  Yes. Well, not as, yeah, I mean, progress, but not, you, you would have thought back in 1970, when Richard Nixon declared a war on cancer, you would have thought, hmm, 54 years later, probably a little bit, you know. I mean, I, I don't think any of us will be satisfied until we can walk into a doctor's office and have him say, oh, you have cancer, but we know what caused it and we know exactly what to do.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  They're close.

• 34:00Bill Maher?

  You think?

• 34:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:02Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 34:02Speaker 04

  With chemicals and...

• 34:05Bill Maher?

  I'm gonna start drinking again. At these prices, I can't afford, I can't afford not to get cancer.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  Have you had cancer?

• 34:12Bill Maher?

  What a question. If I had, I wouldn't tell you.

• 34:16Speaker 04

  Really?

• 34:18Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 34:18Speaker 04

  Why?

• 34:19Bill Maher?

  I'm very private about that kind of stuff. I, I have never missed a show, except the two they made me miss because I had.

• 34:26Speaker 04

  Cancer.

• 34:27Bill Maher?

  Covid. Um, I mean, it was their choice, but I've never missed a show in 31 years. Never missed a stand-up performance, except when the plane couldn't get in. Uh, never because of sickness. I believe the show must go on. And I believe you don't talk about your personal problems. I've never burdened the audience. Some people do and it's fine. I'm not knocking.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  A burden, for example, and I too.

• 34:48Bill Maher?

  Well, that's how I see it.

• 34:49Speaker 04

  I've never missed a performance. I've never missed.

• 34:51Bill Maher?

  Is that right?

• 34:52Speaker 04

  I've never, I've never missed a performance.

• 34:55Bill Maher?

  Some people wish you did.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  Right. And I don't miss those people either. The.

• 35:01Bill Maher?

  But enough about Mr. Spock. Or so. Who's the one you're feuding with? The driver?

• 35:07Speaker 04

  I don't feud with anybody.

• 35:08Bill Maher?

  Sulu. Don't you feud with him still?

• 35:12Speaker 04

  There are sick people in this world. Then if you fight with them, it's a losing battle. I mean, they're, it's, the illness has taken over. I.

• 35:20Bill Maher?

  He seems like such a nice guy, but I just always want to say, come on, you just drove. That was somebody's bit about Star Trek. He drove. What was the big deal?

• 35:30Speaker 00

  Now streaming on Paramount Plus.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you.

• 35:37Speaker 06

  You're having a midlife crisis.

• 35:39Speaker 01

  I'm not ready for that.

• 35:40Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 35:41Speaker 01

  I'm older. I'm wiser.

• 35:45Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 35:54Speaker 00

  Dexter Resurrection, new season now streaming on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  Glimmer, the new eau de parfum by Estee Lauder. An amber floral fragrance with a gourmand twist with notes of Macaron rose accord, amber embrace accord, and shimmering patchouli. A glimmer is a small, unexpected moment of joy that shifts your energy and how you feel. A scent to be felt, remembered, and shared. Discover more at estee lauder.com. What makes you glimmer?

• 36:29Speaker 04

  Have you been ill and gone on?

• 36:32Bill Maher?

  Of course.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Well, what kind of illness?

• 36:35Bill Maher?

  You know, back in the day.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  What's that mean?

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Whose fucking day is it that you're talking about?

• 36:43Bill Maher?

  It's generically, it can mean anything and people also say, that was a minute, you know, I haven't seen you in a minute. You know, these are just, you know.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  No, but what does back in the day mean?

• 36:54Bill Maher?

  Back in the day, well, you know, it could, it's, kids are not exactly what you call up on history, so it's good for them because they can say back in the day and it just means generally before now, which is all I know about history. They don't know, you know, whether the Middle Ages came before the Renaissance or the other way around. So back in the day is just generic and suits them very well. I think that's where it came from.

• 37:18Speaker 04

  Where does your back in the day start?

• 37:19Bill Maher?

  Okay, but I'm, when I say back in the day in that instance, it would mean like when I was younger, like when I was in my twenties, thirties, forties, I got way sicker than I do now. I got flu, cold, a few times a year, because I lived so much less healthy, because I learned how to live healthier and of course I have to, because when you're older, you're on a short leash. You know, you seem to be able to do whatever you want. I don't have that luxury. I have to live.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  No, I, I eat very, uh.

• 37:47Bill Maher?

  You know, this is like, I allow myself a drink or two only on Wednesday night.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Is that right?

• 37:52Bill Maher?

  Yeah. This is it.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Because you, you play with the reputation of being a, a hard hitter.

• 37:59Bill Maher?

  Oh, I am a pothead.

• 38:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, but is, that's bad for your lungs.

• 38:04Bill Maher?

  I, I wouldn't say it's good ever to put smoke in your lungs.

• 38:06Speaker 04

  No, no, that's just a negative way of putting it. It's bad for your lungs. I wouldn't say it's good. What you mean is it's bad for your lungs.

• 38:12Bill Maher?

  Yes, yes, coun- yes, counselor.

• 38:14Speaker 04

  You've evaded that reality.

• 38:17Bill Maher?

  Uh, I have not evaded it. I'm aware of it and it's a trade off that I discuss with myself many times.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  Who wins the argument?

• 38:26Bill Maher?

  Well, obviously pot.

• 38:28Speaker 04

  Well, obviously I do.

• 38:29Bill Maher?

  Um, yeah. I mean, I'm not sure, of course, there are people who smoke from the minute they wake up to the end of the day. I am so far from that. Not, yeah, well.

• 38:41Speaker 04

  Well, they're, they're living in another reality.

• 38:43Bill Maher?

  I certainly, you can certainly name a number of celebrities who have done that.

• 38:46Speaker 04

  Who smoke from morning till night?

• 38:48Bill Maher?

  Snoop Dogg.

• 38:49Speaker 04

  Who?

• 38:49Bill Maher?

  Snoop Dogg, Willie Nelson.

• 38:52Speaker 04

  Snoop Dogg does?

• 38:52Bill Maher?

  Snoop Dogg, yes.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  Still?

• 38:55Bill Maher?

  Well, he did, he, he did back in the.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  He seems very alert now.

• 38:59Bill Maher?

  He did back in the day. No.

• 39:01Speaker 04

  Um. His or yours?

• 39:03Bill Maher?

  No, I thi- I think he probably s- I don't know if he still does, but he certainly did. A lot of those rappers do. And I'm talking about-

• 39:10Speaker 04

  Snoop Dogg is an interesting character.

• 39:12Bill Maher?

  Oh, he's great. I love him.

• 39:14Speaker 04

  But, but, but I've always thought of him as being like exotic. But on this show he's on, he's so there, he's so funny.

• 39:22Bill Maher?

  What do you mean exotic?

• 39:24Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, removed from my reality.

• 39:28Bill Maher?

  Right. No, he's just a dude from Long Beach.

• 39:33Speaker 04

  Who's got a quick mind.

• 39:35Bill Maher?

  Yeah, of course. I mean, look at the way he parlayed a career that started out, you know, way in the, you know, serious gangster rap phase where if you quoted some of the lyrics today, I mean, you would not win the now man of the year award. You know, I mean, rap in that day was very misogynistic. It was just how that was. You know, and, and some of these guys, LL Cool J also, you know, they started from there and now it's a brilliant thing to do. They mainstream, but that's what you have to do. That's what, that's what singing stars do, you know, I mean, Lady Gaga, you know, started out very counterculture and, you know, was wearing meat dresses and stuff and, you know, but now she's,

• 40:20Bill Maher?

  whatever she is, forty or thirty-eight or something, and so she's much more of just like, oh, now I'm a movie star and, you know, I could sing with Tony Bennett and-

• 40:30Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 40:31Bill Maher?

  You've got to do, you've got to grow with your audience as they age.

• 40:35Speaker 04

  Snoop Dogg has done a metamorphosis. I mean, that's from the dreadlocks or whatever it was, the long pigtails and the rap. And almost, uh-

• 40:49Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but I used to have him on my, on Politically Incorrect in the nineties. He's the same guy.

• 40:54Speaker 04

  Is he?

• 40:55Bill Maher?

  Yeah. I mean, he's, you know, they would come and, you know, the hallway would just be filled with the smell of smoke. I mean, that'd be, and I would just so admire that.

• 41:06Speaker 04

  Let me ask you-

• 41:07Bill Maher?

  The balls to just say, fuck it, you know what? Arrest me for this stupid crime.

• 41:11Speaker 04

  Let me ask you a question about, about smoking a pot. When I did, and I haven't done it in a while for, I don't know.

• 41:21Bill Maher?

  The night is young.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Well, I, I, I, I'm afraid of losing-

• 41:28Speaker 04

  Control of my.

• 41:30Bill Maher?

  Bladder.

• 41:31Speaker 04

  Of my imagination. I've had some bad trips and.

• 41:34Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:36Bill Maher?

  But you know, you don't really trip on.

• 41:38Speaker 04

  Well, you can. Well, it depends on the individual. You trip.

• 41:43Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 04

  You you you lose reality.

• 41:45Bill Maher?

  Yeah. Well, I sure don't. I mean, I'd love to.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 41:49Bill Maher?

  I've been smoking for fifty years, Bill. I mean, I do not lose reality. It'd be awesome, but I don't.

• 41:54Speaker 04

  But the reality changes. It has to. Why would you smoke?

• 41:56Bill Maher?

  Oh, please. Not that. That's not the reality. That's just. That's just your mood. That's just your mood.

• 42:03Speaker 04

  But that but your mood conditions your reality, man.

• 42:06Bill Maher?

  To a degree, but we're talking. We're talking about.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  You feel bad. You're looking around. I'm gonna commit suicide. You feel good? Let's go party.

• 42:12Bill Maher?

  Right. And those are the extremes, which I'm telling you this doesn't bring me to in either way. Of course not. I mean, come on. What what what world are you living in? There are drugs that do that to you. I mean, there are tragic stories. Um, sometimes where somebody young dies. Um, it just happened um with a pop star.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  You don't find your driving affected?

• 42:36Bill Maher?

  Well, I don't drive. I don't drive.

• 42:38Speaker 04

  You don't drive with your.

• 42:39Bill Maher?

  No.

• 42:40Speaker 04

  Why not?

• 42:41Bill Maher?

  Because.

• 42:41Speaker 04

  Because it affects your reality.

• 42:44Bill Maher?

  No, because if I get caught, they'll punish me for it. That's why. I can drive perfectly well, Stone. I I I wouldn't do it anymore, but back in the day, I remember one time in band camp. Now, one time I was driving. I was must be in my early thirties and I was, you know, didn't care back then, like apparently. And I remember driving to this place and having zero memory of driving there because your brain, you have the two halves of your brain.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 43:15Bill Maher?

  And the the half of my brain that did things like saw red lights and stopped and that was working fine.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:21Bill Maher?

  And the other half of my brain was thinking about a thousand other things and had no recollection of the actual roads.

• 43:29Speaker 04

  But you can do that without smoking. You can drive a distance there.

• 43:32Bill Maher?

  God, yes.

• 43:33Speaker 04

  Get here. Uh, but.

• 43:36Speaker 04

  You're talking about altering the reality to one degree or another. And you're, and if you're in it, do you know the degree with which you've altered the reality?

• 43:46Bill Maher?

  You just, you just said it, one degree. If you alter something one degree, it's not that much. And, and you probably are always altered by one to 10 degrees in any given day, based on how much sleep you got.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that's such a rationale for, for smoking as much as you do. It's not good for your lungs.

• 44:05Bill Maher?

  I don't smoke that much.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 44:07Bill Maher?

  No. I'm, that's what I'm telling you. There are people like Snoop and Woody. I think, I think for years Paul McCartney was that person who just, they, you know, they, when they traveled with pot, they'd travel with bags of it. You know, they'd go through like a bag a day. I got through a bag a year, you know?

• 44:27Speaker 04

  The way you talk, it sounds like you're, you smoke it all the time, then you don't.

• 44:32Bill Maher?

  You're hearing that, just.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  No, from your mouth.

• 44:34Bill Maher?

  No, no. What you hear is, I do pot jokes. It's a funny thing. People like to have things about them. And of course, I wouldn't do it if it wasn't true. I am a longtime Tribune for the cause of marijuana legalization. And I think it's a great drug if it is for you. It's not for everybody, and that's, that's true with any drug. It, it really depends on how it agrees with your body chemistry. But certainly, I hope you're libertarian enough to say, if it agrees with mine, then.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  I'm glad it's, it's.

• 45:04Bill Maher?

  Yeah, and that's all it is.

• 45:05Speaker 04

  It's legal because it's a natural thing. And it's like those leaves that are popular in Africa where they.

• 45:16Bill Maher?

  Got.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:17Bill Maher?

  Cut.

• 45:18Speaker 04

  Cut.

• 45:18Bill Maher?

  K H A T.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Yeah. Gotcha. Yes. They're doing the same thing, aren't they?

• 45:25Bill Maher?

  That's like cocaine. I mean.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  It is cocaine.

• 45:28Bill Maher?

  We, we know that cocaine here in America is not cocaine. It's a, the best you'd ever get was about 50% cocaine. When they chew it, as they have for millennia in the jungle, it's not the same, it's not that speedy asshole high that we get from cocaine. That's probably what the fuck they mix it with, and some of the cocaine. But the natives who, I've been told this by people who would know, like when they just chew it, it's like, it's a much mellower high.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it's reasonable, given the conditions in Africa that they sometimes live under. If they're, especially if they're living in the bush, it's tough.

• 46:09Bill Maher?

  Did you ever do coke?

• 46:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, but what I found was it, it didn't, it froze my nose. And then things would drip, and you weren't aware that you had a lot of moisture coming out. And it was not leading man-like. Excuse me, you got snot. Excuse me, is that caught? No, snot.

• 46:34Bill Maher?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you certainly were, you know, riding high primo, you know, on the, I think.

• 46:49Speaker 04

  Back in the day?

• 46:50Bill Maher?

  Well, back in the day, when coke was much more acceptable. I mean, it was much more acceptable in the 60s, 70s.

• 46:59Speaker 04

  You mean it's not acceptable now?

• 47:00Bill Maher?

  It is not acceptable now.

• 47:02Speaker 04

  Really?

• 47:02Bill Maher?

  People literally would offer it in business meetings. I don't think you'd find that today, even in Hollywood.

• 47:08Speaker 04

  Well, because they probably didn't know about it.

• 47:11Bill Maher?

  Yes, and then people started to die. There was a famous basketball player who was gonna be a great Celtic, and he died, you know, young.

• 47:21Speaker 04

  I got invited to a party with some frequency. An actor friend would, every Saturday night, have a party and have coke and marijuana. And I'd go to the parties and, you know, sniff and snort and drink. And they'd say, you know, I read in the news about some Thai fishermen way out at sea, and a wave came and swamped the boat. And they fell out of the boat in the middle of the ocean. They're in the middle of the ocean, and they're trying to swim. And suddenly they feel solid something under their feet.

• 48:02Bill Maher?

  The submarine.

• 48:03Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 48:03Bill Maher?

  Submarine.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  No.

• 48:05Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 48:05Speaker 04

  Porpoises.

• 48:06Bill Maher?

  Oh, porpoises.

• 48:07Speaker 04

  And the porpoises took them to the land. And, and, and we started to laugh. What would it be like to be, you know, you're striving on suddenly in the middle of the ocean, you're riding a porpoise, you're like, it's crazy. And we'd laugh and laugh and laugh and then go home. And the next week, somebody would say, you know, I heard about these Thai fishermen. And they'd tell the same story. And week after week after week, it seemed like a new story. We would laugh about it, having heard it for the first time, except, didn't we did this last week? And there'd be that laughter about that.

• 48:44Bill Maher?

  I mean, drugs can make you laugh, like, I mean, mushrooms are the ultimate.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  I did mushrooms.

• 48:51Bill Maher?

  I don't know. People have different experiences, like I say, with different drugs. To me, it's the only drug that didn't make me horny, that made me like think, sex? What the fuck? Why would I put my something of mine in you? That's ridiculous. But, but the laughter, I mean, I remember the, maybe the second time I did it out here, maybe the third time. But we were also drinking beer, not a lot, but.

• 49:17Bill Maher?

  And we're, of course, this drug just makes you laugh hysterically for no reason, for great times on end. And you're on the floor, you just want to get low. And, and every time we would like laugh like hysterically for two minutes, I would say, man, this, this Budweiser is fantastic. Which was funny the first time.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:39Bill Maher?

  But on mushrooms, it was funny a hundred times. It's, I mean, you can't, you can't buy that.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  I went to Amsterdam with my wife, just for the purposes of seeing what the drug situation was like. We were in London.

• 49:52Bill Maher?

  What year are we talking about?

• 49:54Speaker 04

  Ten years ago.

• 49:54Bill Maher?

  Ten years ago.

• 49:55Speaker 04

  And we flew to Amsterdam, it was in the winter, and so they're selling it on the street. So we smoked a little and we got some mushrooms that we took back to the room. And we, and we, and we ate them and, and. And then I was sure there was a head of a lizard coming out of the wall. Okay?

• 50:19Bill Maher?

  That's not what I talk about, your wife.

• 50:23Speaker 04

  She got up off the wall. That's funny. That's the funniest thing you've ever said.

• 50:31Speaker 04

  And I'm not stoned.

• 50:35Speaker 04

  So she she speculated on world peace. And I was transfixed by these monsters coming out of the wall. So it was like scared me to death. I've never want to do it again.

• 50:48Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean, I funny, I wanted that experience on mushrooms and never got it. It never made me hallucinate. I did acid or whatever acid, you know. There hasn't been acid since the sixties. They make something and they sell it as acid because it's unregulated, but it's not acid. But something I did once and I did hallucinate a little. I did see somebody was playing a guitar and suddenly their fingers were like comically elongated.

• 51:20Speaker 04

  Oh, in your in your sight.

• 51:21Bill Maher?

  That's what I in my yeah, and I was like, oh, here it is. And then I thought, you know, I was waiting for Yellow Submarine to come on the full length movie.

• 51:28Speaker 04

  But it was just.

• 51:29Bill Maher?

  And that was it.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:30Bill Maher?

  Because my mind, that makes sense to me. They can't hypnotize me, although I would love to have that happen. Some minds just are blocked in some places for better or worse.

• 51:42Speaker 04

  Bill, I was hypnotized.

• 51:45Bill Maher?

  Thank you.

• 51:46Speaker 04

  No, I'm gonna hypnotize you.

• 51:48Bill Maher?

  Now?

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Right now.

• 51:49Bill Maher?

  Oh, come on.

• 51:50Speaker 04

  Okay, no, no.

• 51:50Bill Maher?

  Oh, if I'm up here walking.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, no. It's gonna be the most pleasant experience you've ever had. And I'll do it the way they did it to me. Okay. All right, now, now, really, seriously, close your eyes. Stop laughing. Stop laughing. Stop laughing.

• 52:06Bill Maher?

  All right, I'm taking it very seriously.

• 52:08Speaker 04

  Okay, take it very seriously. Close your eyes.

• 52:09Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  I want you to count backwards from three. Stop laughing.

• 52:14Bill Maher?

  It's a short journey, my. Okay, three, two, one.

• 52:19Speaker 04

  No, slowly. Dwell on each number. Dwell. Dwell on each number.

• 52:25Bill Maher?

  Three is for the number of tits a Martian chick has.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Relax your brain. Relax.

• 52:33Bill Maher?

  Two.

• 52:37Bill Maher?

  Uh, one.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  Okay, open your eyes. Open your eyes.

• 52:42Bill Maher?

  Kill Shatner.

• 52:43Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 52:44Bill Maher?

  Kill Shatner.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  No, you were hypnotized.

• 52:48Bill Maher?

  I must kill Shatner.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  Do you understand? You were out for about five minutes. You were out for about five minutes.

• 52:57Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 04

  Oh, boy. And that's what they did to me, and I thought, was I?

• 53:01Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 53:02Speaker 04

  And they brought witnesses, and no, you were out.

• 53:05Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 53:06Speaker 04

  That's what they did.

• 53:07Bill Maher?

  Is this your party trick? Is this what you play on everybody?

• 53:11Speaker 04

  Right, that's my party. Right, oh, it's so much fun. Everybody laughs.

• 53:17Bill Maher?

  But I, I would love to get, I would pay.

• 53:21Speaker 04

  To be hypnotized?

• 53:21Bill Maher?

  Years, no. A year's salary to just have a video of that party that you talked about walking into.

• 53:29Speaker 04

  That's probably not enough money.

• 53:31Bill Maher?

  I know, but just if I could see, I could hear the sixties or seventies. Dan, and, and, and. Dan, and, and. And all these.

• 53:39Speaker 04

  That's the party.

• 53:40Bill Maher?

  I know, I want to be there.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  He would order this giant cake the size of this table. And people would, you know, grab the cake. As they smoked, they would grab a piece of cake and eat the cake. And it became like a frenzy of eating something sweet and tasting and going down. It was, it was novel and new and interesting.

• 54:01Bill Maher?

  It was like a Diddy party, but with cake instead of cock.

• 54:10Bill Maher?

  And they invited all the fat people in Hollywood.

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Did you ever go to one of those?

• 54:15Bill Maher?

  I'm flattered that you think, that the question is even reasonable. Bill, I love you for that. Um, no, I was, uh, you know, it's funny.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  But you'd have gone, right?

• 54:30Bill Maher?

  That, it's so funny. I used to run into Puffy, you know, here and there, events. Um, I remember he was at the Oscars. I remember talking to him a lot the night Chris Rock slapped, uh, got slapped by Will Smith.

• 54:47Bill Maher?

  And you know, he's, he's one of those guys, maybe it's Trump.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  Well, how does that relate with, with Puffy?

• 54:53Bill Maher?

  I'm, I'm talking about Puffy.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  Oh, I see. I thought maybe you were wandering.

• 54:57Bill Maher?

  No, no, I, I would run into him, I went in at events and so.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  Who?

• 55:01Bill Maher?

  Puffy.

• 55:02Speaker 04

  Okay, I thought we were talking about Chris Rock.

• 55:04Bill Maher?

  No, I said I saw Puffy that night at the Oscar party, the night that Chris Rock.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  He actually didn't mention that, but go ahead.

• 55:11Bill Maher?

  Okay, yeah, cuz I was out for five minutes again. Okay, so, um, I would see him and he, he's that, one of those guys who like, you could see why he's so successful, I mean, he had, you know, smart instincts in the business, but also just like, could give you that, you know, two minutes of undivided attention, it made you feel like you're the most important person in the world. There are people who just have that skill, you know? Trump was that guy, they said. Like, yeah, I remember meeting Donald Trump well before he was president. And yeah, he kinda had that thing, like, he would just, you know,

• 55:48Speaker 04

  Envelop you.

• 55:48Bill Maher?

  Engage you for a couple of minutes and Puffy would always be like, you know, you want, you want to, you know, here, my number, I really want you to call me and you'd call it and it was, never would return the call. I didn't even, I knew he would do that, so I didn't even want to, I was like, oh, but if I don't call, then am I the asshole?

• 56:07Speaker 04

  Oh, right.

• 56:07Bill Maher?

  Okay, so, but that's, that's, that's just who he was. He was just a personable guy. But I don't think I was on the list for the freak-offs, no. That's, and.

• 56:18Speaker 04

  Would you have gone?

• 56:19Bill Maher?

  Would I have gone, yes. In, in that era, I, I mean, we're talking about the early part of the century.

• 56:25Speaker 04

  That era and that area.

• 56:27Bill Maher?

  I was out at, at places that were like that, that all the people there would have loved to have been at the freak-off party, but we weren't, so we were at Club Shitty.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  Right, but, but, but you, but that's been no different. You have to take your clothes off and, and, and screw as much as you can to have a, a.

• 56:52Bill Maher?

  Obviously, Bill, what went on in those parties was just way beyond what even.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  What went on? What do they say went on?

• 56:59Bill Maher?

  Oh, okay, well.

• 57:01Speaker 04

  Imagine, tell me.

• 57:03Bill Maher?

  I think you should save this one for your Netflix series, but okay, we'll talk about it.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  Let me introduce.

• 57:08Bill Maher?

  You might want to do a deep dive, because everyone at that party did.

• 57:12Speaker 04

  Go.

• 57:12Bill Maher?

  Right. No, I mean, first of all, you have to understand, like, music culture, already very different. And.

• 57:23Speaker 04

  From him.

• 57:23Bill Maher?

  You know this from singing Rocket Man.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  I've got an album that I'm working on.

• 57:28Bill Maher?

  The music world is so sexual to begin with.

• 57:32Speaker 04

  It is?

• 57:33Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 57:35Bill Maher?

  Are you kidding? Are you fucking with me?

• 57:37Speaker 04

  No, I'm not.

• 57:38Bill Maher?

  The music industry, music, it's just more sexualized than even, like, acting is to a degree, you know, you're doing the love scenes and stuff. And people are attractive when they're on the set and you're away from home. It's conducive. Music industry, beyond conducive.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 57:59Bill Maher?

  Because, first of all, music is sex. It's sex in, in the eardrums, but it makes people sexual. I mean, a lot of the songs are about love and sex. People fuck to it. It's, it's, they go to a club, they take drugs, they dance, they, you're rubbing and you're dancing. You know, it's just sexual. And women get pussy boners for music and people who make music, more than any other, you know, profession by far.

• 58:31Speaker 04

  I have no idea.

• 58:31Bill Maher?

  Yes, you did. Rock stars don't get laid is a, is a revelation.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  No, but a rock star with a, with all the nymphs yelling and screaming and wanting to touch them, that I can understand. But the music industry is an industry.

• 58:46Bill Maher?

  Okay, rap culture. Now we're taking it to an even further level. I mean, I don't think I'm telling tales out of school that rap videos, like where they would shoot the video. Especially, I'm talking about back in the day.

• 58:58Speaker 04

  Those were beautiful women back in the day.

• 59:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I'm sure they still are.

• 59:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, but not nowadays.

• 59:05Bill Maher?

  Okay, so.

• 59:09Bill Maher?

  And always will be. But like the rap, you shoot the video, right? You're shooting, and the videos are very sexual. They were back in the day. So a lot of.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  Well, today.

• 59:19Bill Maher?

  Ass in the face and ass in my face.

• 59:23Speaker 04

  Right. So now what would happen?

• 59:25Bill Maher?

  Af- right, so then there's an after-party. I mean, was it directly rape? It's rape-adjacent. It's very like, the after-party turns into a, the video turns into an after-party, turns into kind of an orgy. I mean, can you get out of there? Probably, but you kind of know you won't be invited back. And you're just not a good sport. And it's just like, it's a sexualized industry. I'm telling you, whatever Me Too uncovered so far, they same sometime, somehow the angel of death mostly flew over the house of music. But that's where most of the bodies are buried. It's like crazy how much all that kind of shit.

• 1:00:10Speaker 04

  Did you ever go to one of those music videos?

• 1:00:13Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:00:14Speaker 04

  Why not?

• 1:00:14Bill Maher?

  Because I was at a freak-off party at Puffy's house. I didn't have time, for Christ's sake. This was back in the day.

• 1:00:23Bill Maher?

  No. No, but I know people who have done them. I know people, I know women in, who have been in the music industry.

• 1:00:33Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:00:34Bill Maher?

  And their tales are, I mean, I guess it'll all come out. This is sort of the beginning of breaking that seal, I think. But, you know, Russell Simmons, I think, went into exile.

• 1:00:48Bill Maher?

  That's another mogul who, you know, multiple accusations and,

• 1:00:54Bill Maher?

  you know, and there's Marilyn Manson. I mean, there's just a lot of. People who, you know, again, because it's so sexualized to begin with, we're talking about women who throw themselves at guys in the most overt way. And when I say overt, I mean grab your dick. Which is like, whenever that happens, I'm all...

• 1:01:18Speaker 04

  Certain intention there. Where am I when all this is happening?

• 1:01:22Bill Maher?

  Hey, you know, if they grab your dick, what does that mean?

• 1:01:26Speaker 04

  Grab your dick?

• 1:01:27Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean, are they trying to send you a signal? I'm bad at picking up cues, okay? You know, like, I know when a girl does this with her hair, it kind of means she wants to fuck, but like, dick. So, you know, that's the world that we're starting with. And then, when you get to the parties, so what went on, to answer that question? I don't know specifically, but a lot of stuff that women probably did not want to do, but felt they had to do, because if they didn't, they were not a good sport who wasn't playing with the people who have power and connections.

• 1:02:05Speaker 04

  I'm gonna tell you something you may not believe, and that is, I've been an actor since I was six years old, okay? And all over the world.

• 1:02:16Bill Maher?

  That explains that camera.

• 1:02:17Speaker 04

  And I've never seen that behavior. I've never...

• 1:02:22Bill Maher?

  Well, again, this is the music industry.

• 1:02:24Speaker 04

  Well, I've made several albums, and I've got one going now, for example, with Brad Paisley, that...

• 1:02:31Bill Maher?

  Love him.

• 1:02:32Speaker 04

  Love him.

• 1:02:33Bill Maher?

  He's so great.

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  He's a great artist.

• 1:02:35Bill Maher?

  He was here, and he's such a great guy to talk to. And, you know, I'd always had a bit of a thing about country music, and I admit it was a prejudice. I even emailed this him, I said, you know, "I feel silly, because your music is so good." And I probably didn't listen to it just because I kind of like had that thought of, and this is kind of a micro...

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  Well, I and my partner, Robert Chernow, who's a lyricist, have written another album, lyrics, and Brad is going to do the music.

• 1:03:09Bill Maher?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  And we've got a great album, and the concept of the album is love. But love of different kinds. I love music. I love my body. I love my health. I love art. I love and but I love my health because it allows me to love you more is like the gist of the song. So we're going to do that. We've put the date somewhere in January to record, but I sent them a scratch track of my, my, uh, what I think is going on the other day. It's really good. That's, that's where I'm at. That's the music industry I'm in. I don't see what you're talking about. I've never seen what you've talked. I've never seen people

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  take drugs. I, I just, I, I'm wandering around in an innocent, uh, cloud.

• 1:03:56Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you.

• 1:03:58Speaker 04

  I mean, I'm blind.

• 1:03:59Bill Maher?

  You are. I, I, this is coming back to me from the first time you were here, that you

• 1:04:03Speaker 04

  Did I say that?

• 1:04:04Bill Maher?

  No, but you, but it's, it's, it's triggering a memory of me thinking, wow, this guy kind of like lives in his own world and, and like.

• 1:04:14Speaker 04

  Do my work, go home and learn my words, come back and do my work.

• 1:04:18Bill Maher?

  Right. Well, I, I mean, I hate to be the one to burst the bubble, but yeah.

• 1:04:22Speaker 04

  What did I, what did I miss, man?

• 1:04:25Bill Maher?

  Music industry is full of pimps.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 1:04:29Bill Maher?

  But, you know, they, and the kind of devotion and, um, I, I don't know what to call it, but it's, it's, it's beyond, it's a preter human level of adoration that goes on with music stars. I mean, Taylor Swift, I mean, the Beatles, I have Sinatra, Elvis. I mean, anybody, Kanye, you know, people just, it just goes, like I always say, comedy, if you want to, you know, score with comedy with women, it's got to go through the brain. Music, it doesn't have to. You could have no brain at all.

• 1:05:08Speaker 04

  Goes with the beat.

• 1:05:09Bill Maher?

  It goes right to the P U S S Y.

• 1:05:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:12Bill Maher?

  And, and you know, and guys, I mean, I love, I couldn't live without music.

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  One of the numbers I wrote is, uh, I love music.

• 1:05:21Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  And, and, and, and enumerate this, the music, classical music, love song, uh, uh, uh, rock, you know, all, all the, the way music affects you. You can love it.

• 1:05:37Bill Maher?

  So inspirational, I gotta say, the way you, what are you now, ninety-four?

• 1:05:42Speaker 04

  Ninety-three.

• 1:05:44Bill Maher?

  Three. Oh, man. That's the worst thing you can do to a ninety-three-year-old.

• 1:05:50Speaker 04

  Is to say you're ninety-four.

• 1:05:52Bill Maher?

  Well, step on his oxygen nose, but after that.

• 1:05:54Speaker 04

  Ninety-two would have been really nice.

• 1:05:56Bill Maher?

  But, um, to see that, first of all, you look fine. And also that, like, it's always about tomorrow with you. And that's, that's the secret. It's always about tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'm doing something with bread, basically, you know? It's like, you've got shit on your calendar coming up. You, you have some time to get sick or die.

• 1:06:15Speaker 04

  That's exactly right.

• 1:06:16Bill Maher?

  You've got shit to do. I feel, I feel the same way.

• 1:06:19Speaker 04

  I'm taking a plane at ten-thirty Friday night, flying to New York overnight, doing a, a performance in the morning, entertaining in the morning, and getting on a plane in the afternoon, coming back. I don't want to be away from home any more than I have to.

• 1:06:36Bill Maher?

  Really? Why? What's at home? Just that dragon?

• 1:06:42Speaker 04

  A fence.

• 1:06:44Bill Maher?

  A fence?

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  I got a nice-sized property, a fence, my dogs, my wife, a house, my bed. The bed, the bed.

• 1:06:56Bill Maher?

  I, sweetheart, I'm getting off the road next year. I mean, I've been on, as a stand.

• 1:07:01Speaker 04

  So you know what I mean when you say?

• 1:07:03Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:07:03Speaker 04

  The bed.

• 1:07:04Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:07:04Speaker 04

  The beds uncovered, the pillows, the sheets, the noise. I was in a hotel this last weekend for three days where they didn't have any heat and it was, uh.

• 1:07:14Bill Maher?

  Same, okay. Thank you, Jesus. I was just saying to a number of people asking me about, are you sure you get off the road? You'll be okay?

• 1:07:23Speaker 04

  Get off the road?

• 1:07:24Bill Maher?

  I will miss it, but I said, they are making it so easy for me to not miss it. And one of the main reasons is, I don't know what happened, hotels have been going down slowly. And in the last, I would say, year or two, a precipitous plunge.

• 1:07:39Speaker 04

  They turn off the heat at night.

• 1:07:41Bill Maher?

  Heat, I I've had TVs that didn't work in multiple hotels. You can't get the TV to work? I had the one, I was a couple of weeks ago someplace and I got to the room after the show and I like it cold at night and it was cold, I guess they had turned it to that. I was like, okay, this is cool, great. Sometimes I have to get it cold. Woke up in the morning, it's cold, okay, now I'll put the heat on. No, no, didn't go, no heat. And they said, okay, so I'll just turn it off. No, wouldn't turn off either. So I just had to live with, and to people who were like, oh, look at these two rich assholes complaining about, fuck you. First of all, we earned it, we're old, we've paid our dues and we're not asking for the world.

• 1:08:24Bill Maher?

  TVs that work and heat. I've also.

• 1:08:28Speaker 04

  And the arena I worked in was a hockey rink, so they had boards over the ice.

• 1:08:33Bill Maher?

  And, you know, I hate to be the one piling on to the younger generations, but a lot of it is. I'm sorry. Apropos of the cliche, Gen Z has shitty, fucking work ethics. They don't care. They're either stoned or disaffected or or both or whatever.

• 1:08:54Speaker 04

  A lot of them have no work ethic.

• 1:08:56Bill Maher?

  No work ethic, like shit just doesn't get done, simple stuff. They they just have this attitude like, oh, gosh, I'm in a job that I'm too good for, so why should I do it? You know, it's just, nothing gets.

• 1:09:09Speaker 04

  No, I'm really, that's really, that and global warming are two things to worry about. That's what needs to be corrected. We we need schools that teach them not only A, B, C, but work, work is important.

• 1:09:27Bill Maher?

  Well, not to make everything about the Trump election, but the general feeling among people, and we know people, they don't follow the issues exactly closely, as you said, and I said myself on the end of our show last week, the economy is actually good. If that really is your big complaint, you just don't know the facts. No, it's more of a feeling they have about the left. And a lot of it is like, it's kind of Gen Z dominated. That, the left people-

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  What's Gen Z? What era is that?

• 1:09:59Bill Maher?

  Gen Z, I think the oldest of them are like 25 now.

• 1:10:02Speaker 04

  I see.

• 1:10:03Bill Maher?

  They came along about 2015. They were the successors to the millennials. And Jonathan Haidt, the great author who follows this stuff closer than anybody, he marks that when Gen Z came of age as a generation around 2015 to be the beginning of wokeness out of control. And I think he's right. And that's a lot of what this was the determinative in this election. The, a lot of the country, certainly enough of it, will elect crazy Donald Trump because they think in a crazy race, he's the less crazy. Really, the Democrats lost a crazy race to a crazy man.

• 1:10:46Bill Maher?

  A truly crazy man beat them in a who's crazier.

• 1:10:49Speaker 04

  I heard an Israeli politician say, "The people who attacked us are crazy. What they can't realize is that we're crazier than they are, and they will learn it." I heard that before the whole thing blew up. And there's truth to that.

• 1:11:11Bill Maher?

  Israelis are not crazy at all. They're, they just would love to live in peace. They didn't want the whole thing. They were willing to take half a loaf. They gave Gaza back, you know?

• 1:11:25Speaker 04

  I give you all that, but when it came to war, there was no, what they meant was, there's no stopping us if we should decide to do this.

• 1:11:35Bill Maher?

  There is, wars are either, you know, the policy of this country is, let's get a, you know, a peace-

• 1:11:43Speaker 04

  Truce.

• 1:11:43Bill Maher?

  A truce. That's not my policy, or Israel's, which is, let's win the war. And by the way, when we're in a war, that's our policy. It's only when you're looking from the outside. The best time to ever call for a truce is the day after Israel gets attacked.

• 1:12:03Bill Maher?

  They got attacked. "Truce!" It's like, "I'm sorry, but if you attack me, I'm going to attack you back." And you made a bad tactical error, because I actually am stronger than you, and I will get it done.

• 1:12:17Speaker 04

  And I'm crazier than you.

• 1:12:19Bill Maher?

  Israelis are not crazy at all.

• 1:12:21Speaker 04

  Well, definition of crazy, but, uh, but what I mean is, they know the situation. They know that if they don't finish what they need to finish, it'll happen again in a very short period of time. Because the truth of the matter is, they've made more these 10-year-olds and 5-year-olds in the next 10, 20 years will remember, and they've made...

• 1:12:51Bill Maher?

  But there's, uh, yeah, there's only the least bad answer in any geopolitical decision. But we are talking about people who also have strapped suicide vests on 10-year-olds.

• 1:13:02Speaker 04

  Yeah. No, no, we, so, we know that...

• 1:13:05Bill Maher?

  You know, you, to me, the ultimate sign of whether you're hypocritical on this or not is, "Okay, you're all for the Palestinians, and I certainly am for Palestinian civilians and people to be able to live peacefully and healthfully again." It's, it's not like I don't see the misery and feel for it. But if you're taking sides in this, now, my view, you're, you're not seeing who the real bad guy is,

• 1:13:37Bill Maher?

  where would you live? Would you live in Tel Aviv, or would you rather live in Gaza? Not Gaza under the attack of Israel, just Gaza under Hamas, as it was before October 7th.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  That's why the two-state thing is the only reasonable explanation.

• 1:13:53Bill Maher?

  Get real, you would not live in that society.

• 1:13:57Bill Maher?

  These are not your values, that women are second-class citizens and should be covered and don't really have rights and gay people, that may be a death penalty thing. And these are not close to your rights. No elections, no freedom of religion, certainly. No, you'd want to live in Tel Aviv, which looks like where you live now. That looks like where you live now. People do what they want. The women wear a sundress when it's nice outside. And we don't have to be Jews. A lot of Jews are very non-Jewy. I mean, they're culturally, but they don't, it's not a religious thing. And then there's

• 1:14:39Bill Maher?

  others who are cuckoo religious. But where would you live?

• 1:14:45Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:14:46Bill Maher?

  That is where the rubber meets the road for me.

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  Well, it's, it's, there's the madness of religion there, and there's always been. Why would you kill somebody over the fact that they don't believe the way you believe?

• 1:15:02Bill Maher?

  Because, because if you believe something as important as who created the universe and all that he did, then it's kind of important that...

• 1:15:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, but if I hold an alternative point of view, I'm not infringing on your beliefs.

• 1:15:20Bill Maher?

  Yes, it is. It's too existential. To think that you have to convince yourself, first of all, since there's no actual evidence, that there's this supernatural being and you're part of his cult, you have to believe that there's no other possibility. That's where that comes in.

• 1:15:38Speaker 04

  Well, that I don't understand, because it's like...

• 1:15:42Bill Maher?

  No, it's stupid.

• 1:15:43Speaker 04

  It's like, I don't eat whatever. I, you know, I don't eat meat. I do, but, but if somebody who's a vegetarian, why would they want to kill me? Because I want a steak.

• 1:15:55Speaker 04

  Go eat your vegetables, I'll eat my steak and I'll see you at the movies.

• 1:16:00Bill Maher?

  I mean, some of that is is my Peter friends, you know, and and God love them. We're close and I I I said this before, but you know, I I'm not a vegetarian. They accept that in me. So I don't think those people are that um dictatorial about it, but I I know what you're saying. They some people would say, you know, like what people say about abortion, it's murder. If you think if you think we shouldn't kill animals, then it's like, hey.

• 1:16:29Speaker 04

  You know, that abortion thing, it's it's a conven- it's a convenience to think that it isn't murder. It's a convenience.

• 1:16:37Bill Maher?

  I agree, I say the same thing. I I say it is murder, I'm just OK with it. That which is my position, that's my actual position.

• 1:16:46Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:16:47Bill Maher?

  It's like I uh until a person is out,

• 1:16:53Bill Maher?

  I mean, especially at the early stages, yes, it's undeniably becoming a life. I'm squishy on it to uh some liberals think I'm too squishy on it.

• 1:17:00Speaker 04

  So am I.

• 1:17:01Bill Maher?

  Because I was not supposed to be born.

• 1:17:05Speaker 04

  What do you mean?

• 1:17:08Bill Maher?

  My mother had my sister four years, three and a half years before me, and it was very difficult and she had subsequently a number of what in those days, this is the early nineteen fifty's, they called exploratory operations. You know, they just opened you up because like, what the fuck? We don't know what the I mean, that's she was in, you know, had a lot of and they said you should not have another child. And so I understand what it could have been to be on the cutting room floor.

• 1:17:38Speaker 04

  So wait a minute, well, you you you so you your mother conceived again deliberately?

• 1:17:45Bill Maher?

  Deliberately, I, you know, don't ask those questions or I didn't, I wish I did.

• 1:17:50Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 1:17:51Bill Maher?

  Oh, I have to tell you, you're kind of a Jew, right?

• 1:17:54Speaker 04

  I'm a kind of a Jew.

• 1:17:55Bill Maher?

  OK, you'll love this story. So I'm recently going through, I had occasion to go through old papers, old family papers that I just threw in a file and never lost. I said someday and then someday never came. I had reason to do it and my father saved letters. These are from like the late forty's.

• 1:18:15Speaker 04

  What's his first name?

• 1:18:15Bill Maher?

  Bill.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:18:17Bill Maher?

  Like us.

• 1:18:19Bill Maher?

  He saved letters from three friends that from right after World War II. Two of them are people he was in the war with. All the way through the like the early 60s, you know. I mean, a phone, a long distance phone call costs like 25 cents. You couldn't, a stamp was three. So I'm going through all these letters. It's fascinating, you know. And again, I only have half the story because I don't have his letters to them. They're gone and probably those people are dead. But I have the letters they sent back to him. My father, who married my mother in 1951, up until about three months before they got married, was engaged to another woman.

• 1:19:02Speaker 04

  Holy cats.

• 1:19:03Bill Maher?

  Yeah. Now, my father and my mother met in World War II, like overseas. Very romantic. That's 1940.

• 1:19:11Speaker 04

  Met the other woman?

• 1:19:12Bill Maher?

  No, my mother and my father.

• 1:19:15Speaker 04

  Overseas?

• 1:19:16Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:19:16Speaker 04

  What country?

• 1:19:17Bill Maher?

  Probably France in 44 or Germany.

• 1:19:20Speaker 04

  Was she French?

• 1:19:20Bill Maher?

  She was a nurse.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:19:22Bill Maher?

  She was an army nurse.

• 1:19:24Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:19:24Bill Maher?

  And he was in Patton's army.

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:19:26Bill Maher?

  So, so he knew her from 1944 to 1951. I don't know during that time, were they seeing other people? Was he cheating? I have no idea. But I do know from the letters, he was about to marry this other woman. I'm talking about months before he married my mother. And then breaks it off. And I mean, he could have used the same hall that he rented. It was only like three months later.

• 1:19:50Speaker 04

  Oh, my Lord.

• 1:19:51Bill Maher?

  And I think what happened was Catholic Bill Maher, Irish Catholic. Catholic boys just did not marry Jewish girls in 1951. And I think at the last minute, he was like, fuck it. You know what? That's the one I love.

• 1:20:11Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:20:12Bill Maher?

  And I'm gonna marry her.

• 1:20:13Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:20:13Bill Maher?

  But up until then, I think he had, he was gonna marry this other girl. No, that's not exactly in the letters.

• 1:20:20Speaker 04

  Right. But that's, that's the story you got.

• 1:20:24Bill Maher?

  It makes sense.

• 1:20:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:20:25Bill Maher?

  I mean.

• 1:20:26Speaker 04

  So Bill.

• 1:20:26Bill Maher?

  A Jewish Catholic union was way more outrageous than black white is today.

• 1:20:31Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:20:34Speaker 04

  So your mother gets pregnant, but you don't know whether it was deliberate or not?

• 1:20:38Bill Maher?

  No, what am I gonna say? Hey.

• 1:20:41Speaker 04

  She wanted to have a baby with your father.

• 1:20:45Bill Maher?

  I wish I knew, you know, I mean, I wish I knew the answer to these questions.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  You've pondered that question?

• 1:20:49Bill Maher?

  No, actually, I never did.

• 1:20:51Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:20:51Bill Maher?

  Never did.

• 1:20:53Speaker 04

  So she has you, she has you with great difficulty?

• 1:20:56Bill Maher?

  No, my sister with difficulty, and then they told her, don't have another one.

• 1:21:00Speaker 04

  And then you come along?

• 1:21:01Bill Maher?

  I was fine.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  And you were fine?

• 1:21:02Bill Maher?

  Yeah. Yeah. And, and back then, she smoked during pregnancy, as women did, she, you know, was in World War II.

• 1:21:11Speaker 04

  So did French doctors, by the way. Uh, we were in France, and the doctor comes in with a...

• 1:21:16Bill Maher?

  She smoked, she also like had her Scotch at five o'clock. They're like, okay.

• 1:21:26Bill Maher?

  No, really, I mean, I, you know, we make too much of... Look.

• 1:21:31Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:21:32Bill Maher?

  I, I, you know...

• 1:21:32Speaker 04

  Too much of what?

• 1:21:33Bill Maher?

  Well, I have seen people in a restaurant berate a stranger, a woman who's pregnant, because they were drinking a glass of wine.

• 1:21:43Speaker 04

  Wait a minute, they didn't want her to be pregnant?

• 1:21:45Bill Maher?

  She was there, what they're saying, they were shaming...

• 1:21:47Speaker 04

  Why you in the bar?

• 1:21:48Bill Maher?

  Shaming her for drinking while she was pregnant.

• 1:21:51Speaker 04

  Well, there's a certain amount of truth to that.

• 1:21:53Bill Maher?

  I know, but a woman, a pregnant woman can have one fucking drink without the kid coming out to be Tom Sizemore.

• 1:22:05Speaker 04

  Well, you don't know, that might have been his problem.

• 1:22:11Speaker 04

  That's why his name is Sizemore.

• 1:22:18Speaker 04

  Oh, my dear.

• 1:22:19Bill Maher?

  How's everything else?

• 1:22:21Speaker 04

  Good. Everything is good.

• 1:22:22Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:23Bill Maher?

  You look good.

• 1:22:24Speaker 04

  Working hard, um...

• 1:22:27Speaker 04

  You know, I, I really wanna go back for a moment to this, this strange Antarctic trip aboard a,

• 1:22:35Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:22:35Speaker 04

  A liner, a real luxury thing, that's gonna do ten days with Neil deGrasse Tyson.

• 1:22:42Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:22:43Speaker 04

  Part of it.

• 1:22:43Bill Maher?

  He's on our show in two weeks.

• 1:22:45Speaker 04

  Talk to him about it because

• 1:22:47Bill Maher?

  I will.

• 1:22:47Speaker 04

  We're both going to be on it.

• 1:22:49Bill Maher?

  Take me through it though, step by step. You leave.

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  You leave here and fly to Buenos Aires.

• 1:22:54Bill Maher?

  Well, I was gonna say Buenos Aires.

• 1:22:56Speaker 04

  Then you start a plane to Buenos Aires to the very tip of South America.

• 1:23:00Bill Maher?

  Patagonia?

• 1:23:01Speaker 04

  Well, I believe it's Patagonia, but it's even, Oshwaya, I think is the name of the town.

• 1:23:05Bill Maher?

  But I, you know.

• 1:23:06Speaker 04

  Then you board the ship and you get the ship goes to the Antarctic.

• 1:23:10Bill Maher?

  So the tip, if you can picture, and I can, cuz I love geography, the very tip of South America.

• 1:23:15Speaker 04

  Is the town of Oshwaya.

• 1:23:16Bill Maher?

  It's like a little rat tail.

• 1:23:17Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:23:18Bill Maher?

  The islands get.

• 1:23:19Speaker 04

  A little curl back there.

• 1:23:19Bill Maher?

  Well, as the islands get smaller and smaller.

• 1:23:21Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 1:23:22Bill Maher?

  So you're at the very tip.

• 1:23:23Speaker 04

  So now you're at the very tip, you got six hundred miles of the, of the most active ocean.

• 1:23:30Bill Maher?

  You got a, On a ship, six hundred miles to Antarctica?

• 1:23:34Speaker 04

  Takes a day and a half.

• 1:23:36Bill Maher?

  I went, once went to Catalina. I threw up three times. I'm not kidding.

• 1:23:41Speaker 04

  Well, well, Catalina on a windy day.

• 1:23:45Bill Maher?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:23:46Speaker 04

  What kind of a boat did you have? This is a big liner's.

• 1:23:49Bill Maher?

  It was, it was, it was a nice boat.

• 1:23:51Speaker 04

  Well, what do you mean a nice boat? It's a little cabin cruiser.

• 1:23:53Bill Maher?

  We bought a boat.

• 1:23:54Speaker 04

  Oh, you had a boat?

• 1:23:55Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I have a boat. I've been on it once. Um, I don't like boats.

• 1:24:00Speaker 04

  Why did you buy it?

• 1:24:00Bill Maher?

  My friend and I, who lives here, um, you know, and, um, takes care of important matters. Um, he thinks it'd be a good idea if the earthquake hits, to have a boat.

• 1:24:11Speaker 04

  But it's gonna be a tsunami.

• 1:24:12Bill Maher?

  Get out of Dodge.

• 1:24:14Speaker 04

  You're gonna be swamped.

• 1:24:15Bill Maher?

  Well, we're not gonna, a tsunami? Well, it's a tsunami if the earthquake happens in the ocean. That's not where the fault line is. The fault line is in California.

• 1:24:22Speaker 04

  So you think it's gonna, no, no, we're not gonna shake over there, we're gonna shake over here. You know, shake is a shake.

• 1:24:27Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but at, at some point, the shake is over and then the people are refugees.

• 1:24:31Speaker 04

  Oh, well, getting out of Dodge. But now you gotta get from here to the, to the dock.

• 1:24:36Bill Maher?

  Everybody would be going the other way.

• 1:24:38Speaker 04

  Well, yes or no? Some people will be jumping aboard your boat.

• 1:24:42Bill Maher?

  That could happen.

• 1:24:43Speaker 04

  You mean that could happen?

• 1:24:45Bill Maher?

  I, I, that's possible. You're right. But they don't have the keys. They can't make it start.

• 1:24:50Speaker 04

  No, but they can get up and paddle. They can get out onto the water.

• 1:24:53Bill Maher?

  You know, there's a seal, there's a seal who sleeps on it.

• 1:24:56Speaker 04

  A seal?

• 1:24:57Bill Maher?

  A seal, yes.

• 1:24:58Speaker 04

  Does it have a seal of approval?

• 1:25:01Bill Maher?

  Not a Navy, an actual seal that shits on the boat.

• 1:25:04Speaker 04

  So there's a seal that's.

• 1:25:06Bill Maher?

  I'm hoping the seal will drive other people away as a gratitude to us for letting him sleep and shit on the boat all these years.

• 1:25:13Speaker 04

  Does he shit on the boat?

• 1:25:14Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:25:15Speaker 04

  So you've got seal shit.

• 1:25:17Bill Maher?

  He could sleep there. I'd be happy with the sleeping if it wasn't for the shitting. But it's so hard to talk to a seal. They pretend they don't speak English. But, so, you know, anyway, the, what was the point?

• 1:25:28Speaker 04

  The point was the shake. And getting aboard the boat going the other way. And.

• 1:25:34Bill Maher?

  We were talking about the space between us all. That's a song. You know what song that is?

• 1:25:40Speaker 04

  The space between the songs?

• 1:25:41Bill Maher?

  No, well, the, the Within You Without You, the song on Sergeant Pepper. George Harrison's.

• 1:25:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:25:47Bill Maher?

  You know Sergeant Pepper?

• 1:25:48Speaker 04

  Yes, of course.

• 1:25:49Bill Maher?

  Well, Side Two starts with Within You Without You, which doesn't really fit not only on that album, but on any Western album. Because George got into Indian music.

• 1:26:01Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:26:02Bill Maher?

  It's, it's, it's a, it's a fusion song. And there is, it's, there is Western influence.

• 1:26:07Speaker 04

  They got involved in the whole, uh, Eastern thing.

• 1:26:10Bill Maher?

  It was very, I mean.

• 1:26:11Speaker 04

  All of them, huh?

• 1:26:12Bill Maher?

  Well, well, they all went for vacation there in February of nineteen sixty-eight. Ringo left very soon. He didn't like the food. He didn't take to it. And I would be the same way. Paul and John stayed.

• 1:26:26Speaker 04

  How do you know all this?

• 1:26:29Bill Maher?

  The same way I know, you know, basic things about, I don't know.

• 1:26:33Speaker 04

  No, that's very esoteric knowledge.

• 1:26:35Bill Maher?

  It's not. Lots of people know.

• 1:26:38Speaker 04

  No, lots of people know about that.

• 1:26:40Bill Maher?

  Lots of people my age know about the Beatles.

• 1:26:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, but not such intimate.

• 1:26:45Bill Maher?

  Yes, yes. This is not, this is not arcane knowledge that they went to India. The Maharishi.

• 1:26:51Speaker 04

  I know they went to India.

• 1:26:52Bill Maher?

  There you go.

• 1:26:53Speaker 04

  All right, but. To know that he wrote the song and and they were influenced. They had a lot of Indian influence in their music.

• 1:27:03Bill Maher?

  Not a lot, but they did not a lot, but they did use the sitar to great effect in Norwegian wood. It's great on there. It's perfect because it's like new and it it's it's guitar like, but it's was a totally different sound.

• 1:27:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:27:17Bill Maher?

  They did that first, like every everything in music was they did first.

• 1:27:21Speaker 04

  Is there a coincidence that it has a guitar sound and is known as a sitar?

• 1:27:27Bill Maher?

  That's a great question. I I don't know the answer to that. Um, right. Guitar, sitar. Of course, if Elvis sang Sitar Man, it would not have really, I think, taken.

• 1:27:37Speaker 04

  A sitar man would not work.

• 1:27:39Bill Maher?

  I don't think so.

• 1:27:40Speaker 04

  That's what they sing in India.

• 1:27:42Bill Maher?

  But.

• 1:27:42Speaker 04

  Sitar Man.

• 1:27:43Bill Maher?

  Yeah, he uh, he was sincere about the Indian thing and some of the Indian music was, you know, he westerned it up a little. There's another one called the inner light. I mean, the the lyrics are heavily influenced.

• 1:27:59Speaker 04

  I'm surprised you don't like the food.

• 1:28:02Bill Maher?

  Indian food, I love it.

• 1:28:03Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought just you didn't like it.

• 1:28:04Bill Maher?

  No, no, the food's great.

• 1:28:06Speaker 04

  Great food.

• 1:28:06Bill Maher?

  No, it's it's the gods I can't stand.

• 1:28:09Speaker 04

  Gods?

• 1:28:10Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, you know, they have.

• 1:28:11Speaker 04

  They're religious.

• 1:28:12Bill Maher?

  No, it's no, it's.

• 1:28:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:28:13Bill Maher?

  Look, it's a Indian, like eastern religions, which the people who follow them very often like to downplay as religions. I mean Buddhists get a little insulted when you say it's a religion. Cause it's like, oh, religion, that's for the for the fucking.

• 1:28:30Speaker 04

  I didn't know that. I think it's a beautiful thing.

• 1:28:33Bill Maher?

  That it is a religion?

• 1:28:34Speaker 04

  Well, that it is, you know, your definition of religion is precepts you live by. And they certainly live by Buddhist precepts.

• 1:28:42Bill Maher?

  I think there are deeper things about religion than that. It's not just.

• 1:28:47Speaker 04

  But that's when you call it, I I I, off the top of my head, that's when you call it a religion. If you're saying, no, you know, uh, that's not.

• 1:28:57Bill Maher?

  I mean, the precepts you live by. Is part of religions for sure. But the basic part of it, I think, is giving people an answer to the questions that they can't answer. Where you need to make up a story about it. Where did I come from? What happens when I die?

• 1:29:17Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:29:17Bill Maher?

  Those questions make people nervous. Religion's main function is to ease your mind about those questions. Then they overlay.

• 1:29:26Speaker 04

  You know, I have a great fear of dying. The leaving, leaving my home and all the, leaving you. By that I mean.

• 1:29:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:40Speaker 04

  By friends and.

• 1:29:41Bill Maher?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:41Speaker 04

  And people you you want to be with.

• 1:29:44Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I want to see the playoffs.

• 1:29:46Speaker 04

  Right. The playoffs is exactly.

• 1:29:49Bill Maher?

  Yeah. I'm not, I'm not even know who wins if I'm dead.

• 1:29:54Speaker 04

  I'm able in times of of some intelligence. Excuse me. To rationalize the adventure. I'm thinking of life as an adventure. Each day, this experience with talking with you and jumping from subject to subject and listening to your life and me cough on it. But I'm thinking of it as an adventure. My life has become an adventure.

• 1:30:35Speaker 04

  And so the most mundane things, taking our dog's head and saying, I love you. It's just that moment is the adventure. Children. The, the, the, the political thing. It's all part of our adventure in life. We're writing our book as we go.

• 1:30:55Bill Maher?

  I mean, younger people will not understand this at all. But as you get older and the years get more precious, you even prize mundane things.

• 1:31:05Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 1:31:06Bill Maher?

  I remember about, I don't know, five years ago, I was cutting my toenails. And I, for some reason, this thought popped into my head.

• 1:31:14Speaker 04

  This is hysterical.

• 1:31:16Bill Maher?

  I'm just telling you what happened. This thought popped into my head. That, oh, you know, I, I cut my toenails only about like once every maybe three months. My fingernails, I cut like weekly, but toenails, maybe you don't notice, but I think they don't grow as fast, so.

• 1:31:34Speaker 04

  They don't grow as fast.

• 1:31:35Bill Maher?

  Okay, so.

• 1:31:36Speaker 04

  But they grow thicker.

• 1:31:37Bill Maher?

  Yeah, so, but like every, you know, so like every, so four times a year. And it just popped in my head, wow, there's like a finite number of times that I will be.

• 1:31:47Speaker 04

  Cut your toenails.

• 1:31:48Bill Maher?

  Be cutting my toenails, I mean.

• 1:31:49Speaker 04

  Do you read the ads for the nail clippers for older people?

• 1:31:54Bill Maher?

  But I mean, if it's four times a year and I live, even if I live to a hundred, that'd be another thirty years. That's only like.

• 1:32:01Speaker 04

  A hundred and twenty.

• 1:32:02Bill Maher?

  Nail clippings. So now every time I'm cutting my toenails.

• 1:32:06Speaker 04

  This is a hundred and nineteen.

• 1:32:14Speaker 04

  It's too bad, you don't count the love making times that you have left.

• 1:32:18Bill Maher?

  Oh, who cares about that? But the toenails just rocks my world.

• 1:32:23Speaker 04

  They have ads for toenail clippers for older people.

• 1:32:29Bill Maher?

  Why, what is different about a clipper for older people?

• 1:32:33Speaker 04

  Because your nails thicken and a nail, a fingernail clipper doesn't work really well on your toenails.

• 1:32:40Bill Maher?

  You need a weed whacker.

• 1:32:41Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:32:43Bill Maher?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:32:46Speaker 04

  And then you cut your socks.

• 1:32:51Speaker 04

  And they make those too, by the way.

• 1:33:00Speaker 04

  It's a file. It's a little round thing that is a file and it goes.

• 1:33:07Speaker 04

  It's true.

• 1:33:09Speaker 04

  Your toenails.

• 1:33:10Bill Maher?

  I could do that all night.

• 1:33:14Speaker 04

  At least you can bend over. I can't get over that far anymore.

• 1:33:17Bill Maher?

  Look what I found on the floor.

• 1:33:18Speaker 04

  What is it?

• 1:33:20Bill Maher?

  My appearances. I hope that's not a sign.

• 1:33:22Speaker 04

  What is it?

• 1:33:23Bill Maher?

  I'm at the Beacon Theater. Oh, my gosh, the Beacon in November sixteenth, coming right up.

• 1:33:29Speaker 04

  Are you advertising?

• 1:33:31Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:31Speaker 04

  Where you're gonna be?

• 1:33:32Bill Maher?

  The theater.

• 1:33:33Speaker 04

  Aren't you sold out all the time?

• 1:33:34Bill Maher?

  The theater, I guess.

• 1:33:36Speaker 04

  Aren't you?

• 1:33:37Bill Maher?

  I don't know. It's a great question. The theater at MGM, I assume not, if we're, the theater at MGM Grand Las Vegas, no, I'm not in Las Vegas, November seventeenth, Las Vegas. Whoever wrote this is a, what I'm talking about, Gen Z.

• 1:33:51Speaker 04

  Is fired.

• 1:33:53Bill Maher?

  November seventeenth, I happen to know I'm in Washington DC.

• 1:33:56Speaker 04

  What are you gonna do there?

• 1:33:57Bill Maher?

  Actually, it's in Maryland, but it's the Washington area.

• 1:34:00Speaker 04

  I just came.

• 1:34:00Bill Maher?

  Can't remember the name of it.

• 1:34:02Speaker 04

  It's cold and damp.

• 1:34:03Bill Maher?

  Oh, my God. And then, things I don't even want, plug, and

• 1:34:09Bill Maher?

  and here's my shopping list for next week.

• 1:34:13Speaker 04

  Thick socks.

• 1:34:15Bill Maher?

  Well, I, I hope we can.

• 1:34:18Speaker 04

  There's a certain finality in, well, I.

• 1:34:21Bill Maher?

  With what?

• 1:34:21Speaker 04

  There's a certain finality to, well, I like to call this to a close.

• 1:34:30Bill Maher?

  I'll have another drink, if you're up for it.

• 1:34:33Speaker 04

  No, no, I'm good, I'm done.

• 1:34:36Bill Maher?

  You're done?

• 1:34:36Speaker 04

  Well, I mean, if you're done, I've gotta be done. It's a mutual, it's just a fuck off.

• 1:34:44Bill Maher?

  Freak off.

• 1:34:45Speaker 04

  It's our kind of freak off.

• 1:34:47Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I gotta go back to work. I have so much work this week because, again, election week, it's not like any other week.

• 1:34:54Speaker 04

  What are you going to do?

• 1:34:56Bill Maher?

  Well, we're gonna have, you know, I mean, look, everybody in America will be basically having the same conversation for the next quite a long time on news shows, which is, you know, what happened to the Democrats? What did they do to fix it? That's all the topics.

• 1:35:13Speaker 04

  Or, we won and there's lousy Democrats and

• 1:35:16Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 1:35:17Speaker 04

  What did we do that made it great?

• 1:35:18Bill Maher?

  You're right.

• 1:35:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:35:20Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, they get.

• 1:35:21Speaker 04

  There'll be more of those shows than the others.

• 1:35:22Bill Maher?

  They get a chance to, you know, like, when you, it's one thing to win, it's another thing to win big. I mean, he won big.

• 1:35:32Speaker 04

  What's your opinion of that?

• 1:35:35Speaker 04

  Given the possibility, since two attempts have been made,

• 1:35:41Speaker 04

  what do you think of ads?

• 1:35:44Bill Maher?

  Oh JD, well, you know, he looks like, did you see the debate with Walls? I mean, it was like, it was like a debate that you'd see in Canada.

• 1:35:56Speaker 04

  Oh, it was so polite.

• 1:35:57Bill Maher?

  So polite.

• 1:35:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I saw that.

• 1:35:59Bill Maher?

  You know, I'm hoping he, that guy comes out, but he's obviously shown himself to be a guy who obviously will turn on a dime. He said, Trump was, could be America's Hitler and then he's his vice president. So, you know, how, how much hope can I have for integrity?

• 1:36:17Speaker 04

  But, um. That's what bothers me.

• 1:36:19Bill Maher?

  Yeah, no, it's a, it's a worrisome time, but I'm, I will say it again. The thing I most dread is boredom.

• 1:36:28Speaker 04

  Well, here's what I think we should do, Billy.

• 1:36:33Speaker 04

  Treat it as an adventure. We're off on a new, on, on January 6th.

• 1:36:38Bill Maher?

  You're so right.

• 1:36:39Speaker 04

  We're on.

• 1:36:39Bill Maher?

  20th.

• 1:36:40Speaker 04

  20th, we're on an adventure. What's going to happen? How do we modulate it? How do we live with it? How do we agree with it? How do we take this new element in our lives and, and, and, and receive it? And work with it.

• 1:36:56Bill Maher?

  If I may, speaking of January 6th, as long as you did say that date. Let's not forget about this election we just had. Okay, it's over. But the only reason it's over is he won. If he had lost, we would be in all sorts of shit right now because he would never say, I lost. So, let's not have any more of this bullshit.

• 1:37:21Speaker 04

  That's a really interesting point.

• 1:37:23Bill Maher?

  It's, let's not have any more of this bullshit about, here's a video of, of Democrats saying the president's illegitimate. Yes, Democrats grumble about Republican presidents and how they got there. That's a whole different kettle of fish than, okay, you won. Which is what they do and the Republicans don't.

• 1:37:47Speaker 04

  Well, this has been.

• 1:37:51Bill Maher?

  Among other depressing topics.

• 1:37:53Speaker 04

  This has been.

• 1:37:54Bill Maher?

  I thought I'd end with.

• 1:37:55Speaker 04

  What a great.

• 1:37:55Bill Maher?

  And AI is gonna kill us all.

• 1:38:02Bill Maher?

  I love getting to be better friends with you every time.

• 1:38:05Speaker 04

  It's great, Bill.

• 1:38:06Bill Maher?

  And we'll do it next year.

• 1:38:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:38:08Bill Maher?

  We'll make it an annual since you were our first.

• 1:38:10Speaker 04

  Until I die.

• 1:38:12Bill Maher?

  Well, that's not gonna happen, Bill. That's what... That's the good side of AI!

• 1:38:20Speaker 00

  Now streaming on Paramount+.

• 1:38:22Speaker 01

  I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to ya.

• 1:38:27Speaker 06

  You're having a midlife crisis.

• 1:38:28Speaker 01

  I'm not ready for that.

• 1:38:30Speaker 00

  He's back.

• 1:38:31Speaker 01

  I'm older. I'm wiser.

• 1:38:35Speaker 00

  And sharper than ever.

• 1:38:36Speaker 01

  Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.

• 1:38:44Speaker 00

  Dexter: Resurrection. New season now streaming on the Paramount+ Premium Plan.

• 1:38:50Speaker 02

  Glimmer, the new Eau de Parfum by Estee Lauder. An amber floral fragrance with a gourmand twist. With notes of macaron, rose accord, amber embrace accord, and shimmering patchouli. A glimmer is a small, unexpected moment of joy that shifts your energy and how you feel. A scent to be felt, remembered, and shared. Discover more at estee lauder.com. What makes you glimmer?

• 1:39:20Speaker 07

  It's getting chilly outside. But you know what that means?

• 1:39:26Speaker 07

  It's time to cozy up with Panera Bread. Let's get toasty, cheesy. Oh, hello, broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl. How about melty? Okay, Chipotle Chicken Avo Melt. It's dipping bread and soupy goodness season. Oh yeah, we are so back. It's Panera season. Order now.