Dr. Tara: Crygasms, Squirting & Sexual Healing

This week, sex therapist Dr. Tara joins the conversation to break down why it’s important to start talking about sex with kids as early as age 10—and why using medical terms helps remove shame. The discussion dives into everything from crygasms and squirting to the benefits of sexual meditation. Dr. Tara also opens up about her own journey from Thailand to the U. S., her career path, and her book How Do You Like It, which features quizzes and tools designed to boost sexual communication. Together, they explore the realities of maintaining intimacy after substance abuse, keeping the spark alive in long-term relationships, and how therapy and self-care can play a crucial role in healing from sexual trauma. Dr. Tara- Website https://www.luvbites.co/ Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.com

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bunnie XO?

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• 1:35Bunnie XO?

  Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know, why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show, we have Meet the D-Fords, we have Popaganda, we have more shows that we're adding, and not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com/dumblonpodcast and sign up.

• 2:15Bunnie XO?

  Is this thing on?

• 2:18Bunnie XO?

  What's up you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, we have the internet's resident sexpert. Okay, I'm gonna try to pronounce. Actually, no, I'm not. Dr. Tara, and then how do I say your last name?

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Suin Yati Chai Porn.

• 2:33Bunnie XO?

  I love the fact that you're a sex expert and the last word in your name is porn.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:40Bunnie XO?

  How fucking ironic is that?

• 2:41Speaker 02

  I'm from Thailand and porn means a blessing.

• 2:45Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I love that, but in America, it means something completely different.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  Well, you know, it's funny because whenever I tell my last name to my students in college, there will always be boy students that go, "It's a blessing here, too."

• 2:57Bunnie XO?

  Ah, I mean, but you're hot, too, so I couldn't even imagine you being a teacher. Like, that would be wild.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  I get hit on.

• 3:03Bunnie XO?

  I was gonna say, you have to get hit on all day long. And then, what would you teach? You weren't teaching sex, were you?

• 3:09Speaker 02

  I do, yeah. I teach human sexuality in college.

• 3:11Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my, okay. So, we gotta start. Let's start from the beginning here. So, how does somebody get into this type of line of work? I mean, like, did you just? Were you, like, suppressed in childhood? And this was kind of like your way of making up for being suppressed? Or did you just wake up one day and was like, "You know what? I want to be like Dr. Ruth."

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Are you a therapist? Because that's accurate.

• 3:34Bunnie XO?

  Well, I mean, listen, I talk about sex all the time because I grew up in a really religious home. So, I think my way of kind of like taking my power back as being a child was to be able to express how I want to and to be like out there, you know? So, I'm only assuming that that might be what happened with you.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  That was a big part that contributed to me pursuing this career. I'm originally from Thailand, from Bangkok. And for those that don't really know Thai culture from like the local perspective, it's very, very conservative. I think movies, like Hollywood movies, like Hangover, right? Makes it look like Thailand's super sexual, but that's only for foreigners.

• 4:15Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  It's like for tourism. But for us, people that grow up there, it's very sexually conservative.

• 4:21Bunnie XO?

  Isn't that kind of like a, like, just a weird conundrum?

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is.

• 4:26Bunnie XO?

  You guys are so strict, but yet to the tourists, it's such a sexual.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, cuz it's a big GDP, right? We make a lot of money from foreigners coming here to fuck. So we'll make it okay. But yeah, not, not for us, not for, for Thai people. So growing up in that environment and then also I went to an all-girls Catholic school.

• 4:45Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my goodness.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  So all of, all of those combined and also like never had any sort of sex education. Parents never talked about sex. They were the people that like closed my eyes when there's like some sort of sex scene on, in the movies.

• 4:57Bunnie XO?

  As, as somebody who grew up with parents who didn't talk about sex, how did you discover sex? Did you have to figure it out on your own?

• 5:05Speaker 02

  Like most teenagers, porn.

• 5:08Bunnie XO?

  Wow, and that's such a, I feel like, and coming from the industry, the adult industry that I was in, I truly feel like porn is, now it's getting better, but back in the day, it used to be so glamorous. And like, it's just not realistic.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:22Bunnie XO?

  You know, so the expectations that children are, I don't even wanna say children, but when you're of that age to start.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Oh, I was a child when I found my first porn.

• 5:30Bunnie XO?

  Really? How old were you?

• 5:31Speaker 02

  And it was fingering porn. So I love getting fingered ever since then.

• 5:36Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  I was maybe 11.

• 5:38Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And I mean, statistically, research shows that people, like kids nowadays, actually find pornographic materials around that age too. So when I tell parents, like, you should start talking to your kids about sex at around 10. They're like 10?

• 5:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  They're children, they're so young. I'm like, uh-uh, they're not. They have smartphones, or if, if they don't, their friends do.

• 6:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  They will run into something, like it's better to just be open with your children so they talk to you.

• 6:06Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  You're the person they come to.

• 6:07Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely, and I didn't realize that until our daughter, who's 17 now, when she would come home and ask us.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  You look 17.

• 6:15Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I appreciate you so much. When she would come home from like middle school and tell me like some of the stuff that the kids were talking about, I was like, and I don't clutch my pearls, but I was just like, oh my God, you're only like 10 or 11. Like this is crazy. How are you guys learning this stuff? How would you suggest that parents? Even start that conversation with their kids.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, uh, one hundred percent start young. So even when they were young kids, use the right terms, like, don't use made up terms because what that insinuate to children is they should be ashamed of their sexuality and their body parts.

• 6:50Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  People won't say vagina or vulva. They would just say, well, your flower, like, don't touch your flower heart. I'm like, it's not a flower. It's a vagina, just is a medical term.

• 7:01Bunnie XO?

  It looks like a grenade went off on a deli counter, alright?

• 7:04Speaker 02

  I don't know about yours, but.

• 7:06Bunnie XO?

  I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Maybe an orchid.

• 7:09Bunnie XO?

  She's like, mine might be a flower compared to that.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  But yeah, like, I would highly suggest never using euphemisms with children because that does send a subconscious signal. That children will process later in life that give them sexual anxiety. Um, that like, that their body is dirty, that their genital is dirty. So just use medical terms. There's nothing to be ashamed of to say vagina.

• 7:35Bunnie XO?

  Do you think using the P word is a little bit much?

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Pussy?

• 7:38Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  I mean, I would use the word pussy with my children, but that's my prerogative. Um, but yeah, I think, I mean, the word pussy is a slang.

• 7:46Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Right?

• 7:47Bunnie XO?

  Gotcha. So just always use medical terms.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, ever since they're children, like, even if they're five and they're touching themselves, because children are very, um, curious.

• 7:55Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  And they don't know what things mean. It's adults that assign these like bad meanings. So if they're just like touching themselves, like mommy, like, what's this? And, you know, why I don't have that, that's dingling. Just say like, well, you have a vagina, he has a penis.

• 8:10Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 8:10Speaker 02

  And they are different. And, you know, just use medical terms with children. But when they get to ten years old, I think ten is the golden age of actually having a sex talk.

• 8:21Bunnie XO?

  How would you even begin that? Like, you wait till they bring it up to you? Or do you just sit them down one day and say, hey, look, we're about to learn about the birds and the bees?

• 8:29Speaker 02

  So you sit them down, but you don't say the birds and the bees.

• 8:32Bunnie XO?

  Okay, cuz that's.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Euphemisms.

• 8:34Bunnie XO?

  Gotcha.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. You just sit them down and say, hey, this is nothing serious, but I would love to know, like. Any of your friends at school are talking about sex yet? You want to ask a question first.

• 8:47Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  You never want to just tell them what to do.

• 8:50Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  It never works. We have so much research that tells us that telling kids what to do just doesn't work.

• 8:57Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, especially when it comes to exploring sexually. So what you wanna do is create space. And how do you create space? What you do right now? Ask questions.

• 9:07Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  So your ten year old or your twelve year old like asking, so have you been hearing people talking about sex at school? Or your friends or do you know anything about sex? Like, let me know. Tell me. Let's talk about it.

• 9:18Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 9:19Speaker 02

  Uh, it's okay. Like, just say, it's okay. Let's talk about it. I mean, I have sex, like, you know, and one day you'll have sex, so let's talk about it. So ask them the question and then they'll start telling you a little bit and then sort of be inquisitive and ask them more questions. And then from there, it's easier.

• 9:35Bunnie XO?

  So I definitely wanna circle back to your story, but I just have one more question to add on to this. When, how soon, okay, so what if your child is like fourteen, fifteen, and they wanna start exploring having sex? Do you still have that same open minded conversation with them?

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Yes, one hundred percent. Like I said, you want to be the person they always come to. You don't want them to learn from anywhere else.

• 9:58Bunnie XO?

  Right, exactly. Yes, and I, I understand that. But what if like you are just like, you know, if you wanna like tell them to wait? Or like, you know, wait till you fall in love? Or is there a right time to tell a child when they can and can't have sex?

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Even if you say you can't, they will if they want to.

• 10:15Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  And what you don't want to happen is them hiding you, hiding from you.

• 10:19Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Uh, because the worst thing that happens is when kids feel too ashamed to talk to their parents. It's the saddest thing because they then have to go talk to someone else. And sometimes they find a comfortable person to talk to online.

• 10:33Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  And that could be some creepy dude.

• 10:36Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  You know, and

• 10:37Bunnie XO?

  Living in his mom's basement.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Try to like be the comfort person that accepts her. Like, you don't want that.

• 10:43Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  You want her to come to you.

• 10:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  So, yeah, always be open minded. And if she's like, yeah, I don't know, like, my boyfriend and I have been together six months. And we're thinking about it, just like, listen, you know, whatever you want to do, you have the power to choose and I support you. But remember, here are the qualifications of good sex. Like, one, he must respect you. Do you feel respected most of the time or all the time? Because you should. And if there are times where you feel like, mm, I don't know, he's kind of weird about that, then don't, don't have sex with him yet, because you need to be respected at all times. And then two, like, do you think he will focus on your pleasure? Because remember, especially for girls, for young girls, like, your pleasure means more.

• 11:29Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  Right? Don't just.

• 11:30Bunnie XO?

  You're not there for just him.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Right. Don't just let him take over and, you know, he comes, he's done, right? Like, no.

• 11:36Bunnie XO?

  No, I love that. I love teaching young women to have the boundaries. And luckily, our daughter is so open with me about everything that she does. That makes me happy. But in the beginning, when she first came to me about sex, you know, like, especially because of the, the lifestyle that I was in, I just wanted to shield her so much from it, because I just know how bad it can get, like, if you get real deep into it. But then I also had to remember that her life isn't the one that I lived. So, yeah, totally. So circling back, you grew up in an all, you grew up in a strict home, went to an all-girl Catholic school. Take me from there.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Oh, well, so then I got the opportunity to go to a high school in Finland. So it was the very first time to branch out of my, like, environment in Thailand with, like, all the Asian girls, to a co-ed school with, like, girls and boys. And also in Europe, where they don't care too much about nudity or genital, or, you know, they don't sexualize things because being naked is fine.

• 12:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, don't they have all the nudist beaches out there and stuff?

• 12:39Speaker 02

  They do, and they also have saunas where they go in naked. Yeah, like they don't wear bathing suit. They actually don't allow bathing suits. Um, they go into saunas naked.

• 12:48Bunnie XO?

  And everybody out there is fucking so beautiful.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  And they don't care.

• 12:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, they don't care. What I really love is they practice body neutrality. So it's not body positivity where you're like, oh, love your body. You're so beautiful, right? Like, they don't care about that. They're just like, listen, my body works.

• 13:05Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  You know, my body is effective.

• 13:07Bunnie XO?

  I've never heard that. I've never heard that before. Body neutra neutrality.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Body neutrality, like, I love my body because it works.

• 13:14Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you don't have to, you know, beautify it or, yeah.

• 13:18Bunnie XO?

  No, that's beautiful.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. And so in Finland, you know, it was my first time being around like naked people going to saunas. They didn't care.

• 13:25Bunnie XO?

  Being around boys.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Girls and boys and people of all ages. So like teacher, like, you know, grandpas.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Everyone. It was also my first time seeing an old person's dick.

• 13:36Bunnie XO?

  Oh, God, and they're weird looking, man. I, back in my day, I've seen a few and just the old wiry hairs. I can't stand it, dude. I hate it.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  When I was a teenager, I didn't know.

• 13:48Bunnie XO?

  Fucking Old Spice. I can't do it. I'm having flashbacks.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Oh, shit. But yeah, that was like, that was my very first time just learning that like my body isn't bad and like genitals aren't bad.

• 14:03Bunnie XO?

  I wish America was more on the body neutrality because that's such a beautiful just way to teach people how to just love themselves. Whereas out here, it's just, it's such a fake, you know, body positivity, but everybody's had surgeries. We have, you know, I've had Botox, I've had my lips done. We've all done.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  I love Botox.

• 14:23Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, exactly. I love Botox. I will never live without it. But it's like, you know, if had we have been wired on the body neutrality, we probably wouldn't have felt the way that we do now.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, a lot of pressure.

• 14:36Bunnie XO?

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• 15:37Speaker 03

  Attention all new and existing members of the W D N C. I'm Melanie Sanders and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to midlife and realized we just simply do not care much anymore. Now we gotta help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry coochie, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog and bat wings. We are not alone and we will be heard. So come join the W D N C. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders wherever you get your podcasts.

• 16:07Bunnie XO?

  So what is it like going to school with boys the first time? Like, how was that for you? And were you away from your parents? Okay.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  The first time that I was away from parents, people were naked.

• 16:19Bunnie XO?

  I mean, it sounds like a great time. It sounds like summer camp.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  And just lots of tall, attractive people everywhere because Scandinavia.

• 16:26Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah. And they're all beautiful. Like, it's just crazy.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it was, it was really crazy. I had a lot of sexual exploration.

• 16:33Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  A lot.

• 16:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, like when people ask like, when you just, when you just start sexually exploring? I'm like, my hoe face started a long time ago when I was a teenager.

• 16:43Bunnie XO?

  I love it. Yeah, same. Same for me too. Um, I don't, I don't know how much we can get into like. Sexual explorations underage because you know everybody Nobody, nobody knows how to deal with anything like that.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 16:56Bunnie XO?

  Talk about stuff like that, people get offended. But you did discover your sexuality while you were away and you were going to this school.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:03Bunnie XO?

  And is that kind of like what inspired you to want to go on the path that you chose for living for work?

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. So out of all like my background combined, right? Then I moved to the United States, you know.

• 17:19Bunnie XO?

  Oh, God, you went from Finland to fricking the United States?

• 17:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Well, but I moved to LA, which to me is still quite like sexually liberated.

• 17:26Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Comparing to Thailand, it is more sexually liberated.

• 17:29Bunnie XO?

  Definitely not body neutrality out there, though.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  No. No, a lot of pressure.

• 17:34Bunnie XO?

  So.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of pressure for beauty. But in terms of like sex and sexuality, I mean, there were like everybody, right? There's West Hollywood, there's like, there's just everybody. So it was really cool. Um, but you know, people often ask like, wow, like becoming this like global sex expert. Like, were you always like this? Like, no. I was, when I first came to America, I was just like an anxious immigrant girl from Thailand. I was, I was anxious, I was quite quiet. Um, and I really like, it was hard for me to make friends because I didn't speak fluent English. My dad sent me to an accent reduction school so I can speak standard English.

• 18:14Bunnie XO?

  I didn't even know they had those.

• 18:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, for international students.

• 18:18Bunnie XO?

  To like learn how to not have an accent.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  To, yeah, to sound American.

• 18:22Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. So I mean, I think it pays off because like I've received a lot of speaking opportunities. I think it's probably also because that I, um, like it's easy to understand me.

• 18:34Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  But yeah, so I moved to America. Uh, I was in LA and I was pursuing higher education. And at that point I was doing my master's degree and in my master's degree I learned uh, that sex is one of the most, oh, actually sex is the most universal problem that all couples around the world have, regardless of their race, ethnicity, gender, age, how much money they make, like everybody has a sex problem at some point in their lives. I was like blown away.

• 19:06Bunnie XO?

  That is crazy. When you say problem, what do you mean? Because I feel like it's a great problem to have, or is it?

• 19:12Speaker 02

  No, it's any kind of problem. So it can be physical problems.

• 19:15Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  So like dry vagina, erectile dysfunction.

• 19:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  Can't last long, like any sort of physical problems. It can also be psychological problems. So sexual shame, sexual anxiety, sex addiction.

• 19:29Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Um, it could also be a almost like a relational problem. Like in a relationship where you are in a sexless marriage. Uh, or you're in a relationship where one person is resentful because they initiate more sex than the other.

• 19:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  So there's a lot of problems in different aspects.

• 19:46Bunnie XO?

  Gotcha. When you were saying sex problem, I thought you were talking about like nymphomaniac. Yeah, and I was like, I don't know if that's a problem.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  No, I'm not.

• 19:53Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  But yeah, I think, uh, when I read that, I was like, damn, like, I want to be the solution to that problem because it's so universal.

• 20:03Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:03Bunnie XO?

  Did you have anybody that inspired you to want to go down that route too? Cause I know that there was Dr. Ruth and then there was, what was that other lady's name who used to suck the bananas?

• 20:11Speaker 02

  Sue.

• 20:12Bunnie XO?

  Sue. I fucking love Sue, dude. She's amazing. And I've always like been obsessed with those two women. And even when I started my podcast, I used to say the degenerate love child of Dolly Parton and Dr. Ruth. Because I just, they were so influential back then, you know? So I, I love that they influenced you also.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  One hundred percent. Like Dr. Ruth, yeah, one hundred percent. I definitely, like even now, like, you know, when I, whenever I talk about brand, I always say like, I am becoming the Oprah of sex.

• 20:42Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  You know, like interviewing people about their sex life and stuff like that. So yeah, I, I love it. So ever since then, I started pursuing this career and then I got my PhD, um, in four years. And then once I got my PhD, I became a college professor. And that's like my first career and still is my career as a college professor, teaching human sexuality.

• 21:03Bunnie XO?

  That's so cool. I love how driven you were and how you just, you know, coming from, you know, coming to America, not even being able to speak English, going to school to learn how to. You know dampen your accent and then saying like, you know what? I'm going to take over America and become their sex therapist.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:21Bunnie XO?

  That's fucking dope.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 21:23Bunnie XO?

  I love that so much.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 21:25Bunnie XO?

  Um, so we have your man sitting over here too. Can you tell me a little bit about how you guys met? And then we're going to dive into some questions that my Patreon members have because there's so many of them.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Let's do it.

• 21:35Bunnie XO?

  I'm so excited to talk about sex.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  I love answering sex questions. Yes. So my husband Brent, uh, we met on the plane. We were heading out to Europe, so it was from LA and it was like LA to New York. And it was that first five hours, then he went to Italy and I went to Greece, but we sat next to each other. I remember when I got on the plane and as I was walking down the aisle, like I kept looking at my ticket and I look at that hot guy over there. And I'm like, oh, I hope I sit next to him. And as I approached, I'm like, I am sitting next to him.

• 22:05Bunnie XO?

  You manifested it.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he was drawing.

• 22:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  So like.

• 22:08Bunnie XO?

  Oh, go figure. He's an oil painter, guys.

• 22:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. He's an oil painter, big time. And as I approached, I was like, hey, like, yeah, that's my scene. And, uh, he was drawing. So, you know, as I had sat down and got settled, I'm like, so like, what do you do? Like, what are you, what are you doing? And so we started talking about his art and he just lights up like I have never seen in anyone in my entire life. It's just when people live truly in their passion.

• 22:32Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  You just feel the energy.

• 22:34Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  And at that time, like I haven't felt that kind of energy in a man. So when he introduced himself and he started talking about his career, like I was drawn.

• 22:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Like, I was like, I want that. I want in. Well, I want him in me and I want in. But yeah, that's, that's how we met. And then we sort of just been hanging out ever since. And we got married two years ago. We met five years ago and we got married two years ago.

• 22:58Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I love that. That is so like serendipitous.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. Like, oh my God. Yes. Because our original flights were canceled. Both of us.

• 23:07Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 23:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:08Bunnie XO?

  Oh, it was meant to be. So what's it like being, is his microphone over there? Hold on, we're gonna ask him a question because he's, he's married to a sex therapist. So I have to ask, you know, okay, hi Brent, right?

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 23:22Bunnie XO?

  Hi Brent. So being married to a, what's it like being married to a sex therapist?

• 23:26Speaker 04

  Oh, it's, I mean, I think you know the answer.

• 23:29Bunnie XO?

  I mean, is it like amazing? Like, how do you guys?

• 23:32Speaker 04

  Well, okay, I'll, I'll say the one, one of the huge benefits that I think maybe people wouldn't think of is her communication is like, she's got a PhD in communication. So I always know what she's thinking, how she's feeling because she's telling me and she taught me that as well, which is like,

• 23:53Bunnie XO?

  It's a love language.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  It is like the most valuable thing to have ever. Like any type of disagreement we get in, it's over in three to five minutes and we're moving on to bigger and better things.

• 24:05Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  So that's a great part and great pussy.

• 24:09Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 24:12Speaker 04

  That's all given.

• 24:12Bunnie XO?

  Cause that's really what I was getting at. Cause it's like, to be a sex therapist, I feel like the pressure is on. Like you would have to really perform in bed all the time.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  You know, that's really funny because when I first started, I sort of feel like that, but then I've been in this, you know, doing this for eight years. So for me, it's just being authentic in bed. I think people love authentic people everywhere, but particularly in bed, we're very vulnerable.

• 24:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  So like, as long as you put in the effort, show yourself authentically and like be really into it. Cause that's what people want. Like people don't want, you know, people that just lay down.

• 24:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Right? Like just be into it. Like, you know, even, even when you, even when I give a blowjob, I'm into it.

• 24:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  You know, I'm doing that. Like,

• 24:54Bunnie XO?

  Have you ever, have you ever given a class on how to give a blowjob? Like how Sue did? Do you remember how she would like put the condoms on the banana and like twist her hands and like really get it going? Like, have you ever done that?

• 25:04Speaker 02

  But I, I aspire to do that at some point.

• 25:07Bunnie XO?

  On TikTok.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  I know, but then they will delete it.

• 25:09Bunnie XO?

  I mean, I wonder if you, there's like some way you could do it.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  A lot of community guidelines.

• 25:12Bunnie XO?

  YouTube. Yep, Mimi said YouTube. You could do it on YouTube. Some guy waxed his straight butthole on YouTube. I'm talking like spread cheeks. You could see, did you see it?

• 25:21Speaker 02

  I had him on my podcast.

• 25:22Bunnie XO?

  Bro, he's amazing. I love him.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Leonardo.

• 25:26Bunnie XO?

  Yes, but he's straight up waxed his butthole on YouTube and

• 25:29Speaker 02

  The Nair guy.

• 25:30Bunnie XO?

  Millions of views, dude. So you could definitely do it. Okay, so do you mind answering some questions?

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Let's answer the questions.

• 25:38Bunnie XO?

  Thank you, Brent, too. And you can chime in anytime you want.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Oh, nice.

• 25:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 25:44Bunnie XO?

  And then we're gonna talk about your book, too.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 25:47Bunnie XO?

  Okay, this question to me was so, I didn't understand it, but then actually as I read the

• 25:54Bunnie XO?

  the question, it kind of made a little bit of sense. So she said, "When I have an orgasm, why does it make me cry? It's not a sad, it's not sad or anything like that. My partner and I have been together for about 12 years and everything is fine. It's not like an ugly sobbing cry, but more like a release."

• 26:11Speaker 02

  I love this question.

• 26:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  And it brings awareness to this topic. So that is called crygasm.

• 26:18Bunnie XO?

  I never knew that.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Have you had it?

• 26:20Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, so crygasm is a very real thing and lots of people, particularly women, but some men too, experience it. It's because when you have a really intense orgasm, your whole body and your hormones and your physiology is all like heightened and very enhanced.

• 26:38Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  So it's quite normal to have different sort of release. Some people may release it through like grabbing something really hard. Some people may release it through like squeezing their vagina walls really hard. Some people release it through crying. So crygasm is actually a good sign.

• 26:55Bunnie XO?

  So that just means that she feels so good that she, the only way to just get it out of her is to cry.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  That sex is incredible. Yeah.

• 27:01Bunnie XO?

  Wow, her man must be putting it down. Have you ever had a crygasm? Anybody here?

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:06Bunnie XO?

  Crygasm? No?

• 27:08Speaker 04

  Damn, I think I may have.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  I bet I you and I definitely.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, we have had a crygasm.

• 27:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:14Bunnie XO?

  You guys do or don't?

• 27:15Speaker 02

  We have.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  We have.

• 27:16Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I love you guys. That means you guys are just really getting into it.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:21Bunnie XO?

  Can we talk about squirting?

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:23Bunnie XO?

  Because so many people are like fascinated by squirting and then the other people are like disgusted by it because they say that it's pee.

• 27:32Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 27:33Bunnie XO?

  I know how to squirt and I know it's not pee.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 27:37Bunnie XO?

  But what are your thoughts on squirting? How does somebody do it? What is it? All the things squirting.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  I am a big fan of squirting. Like, I love to squirt, right?

• 27:47Speaker 04

  Me too. I'm a big fan. Yeah, she does.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  He makes me squirt really like so fast.

• 27:54Bunnie XO?

  Brent, look at you, buddy. Shit.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Okay, so first of all, I love squirting. There's nothing wrong with squirting and people that feel disgusted, I think you should shift your perspective to enjoy it because it feels amazing for the woman, but also to the partner. Um, so what is it? It's liquids from the skin's gland. However, so the liquid from the skin's gland is the majority of it. However, if you push the whole system really hard, sometimes there's pee in it.

• 28:24Bunnie XO?

  For sure.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  Um, sometimes, right?

• 28:26Bunnie XO?

  Sometimes, yeah.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  And again, pee is actually not dirty. Pee is sterile.

• 28:31Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  Like pee is cleaner than your mouth.

• 28:33Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, pee is sterile.

• 28:35Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  That's Brent, he's a doctor.

• 28:37Bunnie XO?

  I never knew that.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Pee is clean. It's sterile, so.

• 28:42Bunnie XO?

  So that's why some people drink pee, like when they do like these crazy like.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I think that's like sort of a new age remedy thing.

• 28:48Bunnie XO?

  You've seen it, right? Like people are drinking their pee.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  I've seen it on TikTok, actually.

• 28:51Bunnie XO?

  I've seen it on Instagram reels. That's a dark, dark place in there, but um, yeah, some people I've seen drinking their pee. So that's why, because it's sterile.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  It's sterile, yeah. I mean, I don't recommend drinking pee.

• 29:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah, we do not recommend drinking pee. Just heads up.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  However, it's not disgusting to just like, you know, have a little bit of pee and your skin's glands liquids um, on the bed, on you, or in your face, or on your fingers, or whatever. So that's what it is. And then how um, for the women, you need to really completely relax.

• 29:26Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  You would say so, right?

• 29:27Bunnie XO?

  Yes, absolutely.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  That's the key. Because before I was able to squirt, it was. Because I couldn't relax.

• 29:33Bunnie XO?

  Too tense, or if your mental is not there, you're not gonna be able to do it.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Um, so you have to be able to relax your whole body completely. And that comes with like foreplay, taking deep breaths and like really feel it building in your body and like sort of push it out.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  Another thing is using a vibrator on your clitoris.

• 29:54Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  When you get penetrated either by a fing- by fingers or penis or a toy. Because when you come clitorally, you have more capacity to like also have ejaculatory orgasm or squirting orgasm. So that can help too. For newbies, I think that might help them squirt easier and then one day you can try without it.

• 30:16Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, also, there's a technique that a guy can use his fingers.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  The come hither.

• 30:20Bunnie XO?

  Pushes down, yes, the come hither, when he pushes down on your stomach and goes like this, like.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:25Bunnie XO?

  You can squirt a lot that way too. There's so many ways. Is there a certain position that you would recommend to beginners who are trying to learn how to squirt?

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Yes, uh, well, so it's easiest when you are getting fingered. So I recommend putting a pillow under the butt because then you're about forty-five degrees up. And then have him use like, or her, we use one or two fingers and then do the come hither motion while um pushing on the mons, like the pubic area. However, even before you get there though, you do need to like warm up the whole body.

• 30:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you can't just go straight in.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, the vagina is not a separate system. Yeah, it needs to be warm. Yeah, so like lick the nipples, massage the breasts, kissing, like you need the whole body first and then yeah, go there. Start doing the come hither, do the pillow under the butt and I think it's easier to squirt that way.

• 31:16Bunnie XO?

  I love that. I hope this helps people at home too.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  Yay.

• 31:19Bunnie XO?

  Let's dive into some more questions. Yeah.

• 31:26Bunnie XO?

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• 32:08Bunnie XO?

  Head to chime.com/bunny. That's chime.com/b-u-n-n-i-e. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes.

• 32:15Speaker 05

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• 32:28Speaker 06

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• 33:11Speaker 06

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• 33:28Bunnie XO?

  I'm 31 years old, and me and my husband have four kids. My husband is a very horny man, to the point I cannot keep up. How and what can I do to up my sex drive?

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Hmm, have him do more chores.

• 33:42Bunnie XO?

  Have him pull more weight around the house, right?

• 33:44Speaker 02

  That's my real first answer because based on research, women who don't have to do chores as much are hornier.

• 33:53Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's why we, I mean, I say chore play is foreplay.

• 33:57Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, like when women are so overwhelmed, there is no space to be horny, no space.

• 34:04Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, mentally, you're just not there, you're tired.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  Even if I give you, you know, three tips to boost your libido, like you can't do it if you're overwhelmed.

• 34:11Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  So chore play is foreplay. That's first. And then like, once you're not so overwhelmed, then here are some of the tips based on research that really works.

• 34:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Um, one is exercise because you need blood flow. If you are working at a computer and then taking care of your children and then laying in bed to go to bed, like there's no blood flow, right? Like maybe you walk a little bit, but you need that intensity, like you need the, the HIIT workout. Or like, you know, um, Stairmaster, like you need to boost the heart rate and help with blood flow.

• 34:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  When you say getting horny, it means that your blood flow goes to your vulva, right? The whole vaginal area. So if there's no blood flow, there's not going to be blood flow that can go to your vulva and vagina and therefore you can't get horny.

• 35:00Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  So exercise, walks, like whatever, move your body. That will be the first one. Um, the second one is more foreplay throughout the day.

• 35:09Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Uh, a lot of lasting and like teasing. Yeah, a lot of long-term couples tend to have a very dormant sex life and then try to have penetrative sex.

• 35:19Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  Women can't do that. Like, most women can't. Like, they have to feel like desired throughout the day. Like, I'm wanted, I'm desired, I'm sexy. Yes, fuck me daddy. Right? Like, you can't get to, oh, I'm working on the computer and my sex life is dormant and to get home and be like, fuck me daddy. Like, you know, you can't get there.

• 35:40Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Um, so there needs to be flirting throughout the day. If you know it's your like sex date day, um, throughout the day, there needs to be some sort of courtship going on and that needs to be revived. Because I think people forget when they're in long-term relationships.

• 35:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  And then lastly, I mean, There are a lot of like people that say, you know, meditation or sexual meditation can help you feeling more horny, but there's actually real experiments and studies in big universities that show that it works. So sexual meditation is what I do every day and it works in keeping me feel horny.

• 36:18Bunnie XO?

  Where would you find like sexual meditations at like on Insight Timer or like YouTube?

• 36:23Speaker 02

  YouTube, yeah, I have a, I have a like a bunch of guided sexual meditation on YouTube.

• 36:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  If you search for me, go on there, press play and just listen to me, take deep breaths and do what I say.

• 36:34Bunnie XO?

  Ah, I love that. You're amazing. I could listen to you talk all day long.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 36:40Bunnie XO?

  And next time my husband says anything, I'm gonna be like, choreplay is foreplay.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 36:44Bunnie XO?

  Go fucking do the dishes, brother.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:46Bunnie XO?

  Go do the dishes.

• 36:46Speaker 02

  Choreplay is foreplay. I need that T-shirt.

• 36:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, for sure. Okay, how do I get comfortable again with my new boyfriend after a domestic narcissist relationship? That was three plus years. It just feels like sex will always hurt. And every doctor said, nothing is wrong. I'm just tense. I need help.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  Hmm, I highly recommend seeing a somatic therapist.

• 37:12Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Have you heard of that?

• 37:13Bunnie XO?

  I've heard of them. I don't know exactly what they do. Could you explain?

• 37:16Speaker 02

  So in therapy, there are three different sides of sex therapy. There is talk therapy, which is just like a regular therapy, but it's specifically about sex. Then there's somatic therapy, which is body movement. A lot of trauma is stored in the body and sometimes just talking about it, it doesn't go away. But working with the body, you can heal from it from inside the body. So somatic therapy actually is is very powerful for people in that situation.

• 37:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  And then the third type of therapy is called sexological body work. Have you heard of that one?

• 37:52Bunnie XO?

  I have not.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  It's very interesting. I actually discovered this only like five years ago. Um, it's uh, sexological body workers are um, the people that work on your body. So they touch you and you can touch them.

• 38:06Bunnie XO?

  All right.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  As a part of therapy.

• 38:08Bunnie XO?

  Where are they touching?

• 38:10Speaker 02

  Um, depends on where you have like trauma stored.

• 38:12Bunnie XO?

  Gotcha, okay, okay.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  And like where you have.

• 38:14Bunnie XO?

  So it's not like they're like making you orgasm in any way. It's a healing type of therapy?

• 38:18Speaker 02

  They can if you have orgasm problems. A lot of women can't orgasm. It's called anorgasmia. And you can see a sexological body worker and they can uh basically therapeutically help you find your blocks and then like work on your body and you can also touch them. So it's like uh two-way touch if that's like what's agreed upon. Cause of course you have to talk about it and there has to be consent.

• 38:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  But I have a personal story about that.

• 38:44Bunnie XO?

  Let me hear.

• 38:45Speaker 02

  I recently saw a sexological body worker because I have never had anal orgasm.

• 38:51Bunnie XO?

  Well, that's hard. It's hard because it fucking hurts so bad. Like you're not thinking about being like relaxed because you're so tense. I'm sorry, anal sex hurts.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  I can't because also that's where poop comes out.

• 39:04Bunnie XO?

  And sometimes you got a hemorrhoid. You know?

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 39:07Bunnie XO?

  So it's like sometimes the shit don't feel good, right?

• 39:11Speaker 02

  I know. That's for real. You're very real for that. It's true. But yeah, like I talked to some women in my field and they're like, oh my God, anal orgasms like amazing. It's like full body. It's so great. And I'm like, oh, jealous. Like I've never had it. It has always been painful.

• 39:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  So I contacted this sexological body worker that actually like works on a TV show in the UK. And um we became friends and she came to my house, uh had a bed and everything, right? Cause like body worker, kind of like a masseuse, like they work on your body.

• 39:43Bunnie XO?

  How, how does someone get licensed to do this?

• 39:45Speaker 02

  Um, so it's not licensed with the state or the country, but there is certification.

• 39:49Bunnie XO?

  Okay, gotcha.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. So you should only like get certified.

• 39:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, don't, don't find the guy on Craigslist, okay? Don't have some somatic body worker from fucking back page coming to help you.

• 39:59Speaker 02

  No, not the dude on Craigslist. That was like, I can come work on your body.

• 40:04Bunnie XO?

  Exactly. I know Craigslist is shut down, I think, right?

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Oh, really? I don't know.

• 40:07Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. I haven't been on there in so long, but I'm just saying, it's like, just don't find somebody online unless they have certifications.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Not, not the people that are like, I can come work on your butthole.

• 40:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, exactly. All right. So let me hear the story. I'm sorry, I cut you off.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. Never had anal orgasm. So she came over and like literally it took all day of like talking therapy about my like butt and my anal stuff.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  And then go into like different exercises like breathing. So I lay down naked and I started like doing the exercise with her. She massaged my whole body. She like held space for me. Then I turned around and she massaged my whole body, then massaged my butt for a long, long, long, long time. And then she started like, you know, having me like lay on the side and like, you know, open my legs a bit so like she can open my butt cheeks. And then she started like massaging my hole. And then basically, yeah, like took a long time massaging the hole. Then she taught me where the anal tissues are and like where the orgasms can happen. And it's like the six o'clock.

• 41:06Bunnie XO?

  Wow. So even in women, because I know in men and we'll talk about that next, they have like a little walnut in there. Do us as women have one also?

• 41:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:15Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  Well, not prostate per se, but like we, we can also, yeah.

• 41:20Bunnie XO?

  Something that can stimulate an orgasm.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  We can have anal orgasm.

• 41:24Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  Because I just had one. So, so she worked on my whole body, worked on my butthole for a long time. Um, put her finger in, put one finger in first, then two fingers, and then she used a toy. Um, and then helped me figure out like which part of the butthole, uh, inside the butt was pleasurable, which part hurts more. And then she started doing the stimulation and yeah, like it took a long time.

• 41:45Bunnie XO?

  And how did it feel when it finally happened?

• 41:47Speaker 02

  You know, um, it feels like a deep, like deep bodily release. Rather than, you know, clitoral orgasm, that's the easiest one, right? And that's when your legs are like shaking or you have to close your legs.

• 42:01Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  It's not like that. It's very like sort of deep and like in the body, almost like it feels like in the tummy. Yeah, it felt great.

• 42:09Bunnie XO?

  Where were you when all of this was going down?

• 42:12Speaker 04

  She was overseas. I was, uh, I was back in LA. Yeah, I missed, I missed all of this.

• 42:16Bunnie XO?

  I know. She should have done it on FaceTime. I'm like, where's Havi at when this is going on?

• 42:22Speaker 02

  He's so excited though that now I'm down for anal.

• 42:24Bunnie XO?

  Right. So have you been able to orgasm with him? Now, since doing that, are you still?

• 42:29Speaker 02

  Not yet.

• 42:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  No, I just did, I just did this anal retreat like a couple of weeks ago.

• 42:33Bunnie XO?

  Oh, wow.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  This is all brand new.

• 42:35Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my goodness. You guys are gonna have to report back because I need to know.

• 42:39Speaker 02

  I will let you know.

• 42:40Bunnie XO?

  So circling back to what we were just talking about, about, you know, the, the men's anal gland and the G-spot that's in there. Can you tell us about how, if a woman wanted to make her husband orgasm from that spot, how could we make that happen?

• 42:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, the P-spot. I mean, there are different ways. Uh, first way, you can massage the perineum or like the taint. You can massage that in like different, um, sensations. You can do, just your fingers first and then try like lube and like a lot of lube to see what feels good for him. Um, I heard that, uh, doing that, coupling that with like a blowjob is like, you know, fireworks. So you can massage the perineum. Um, you can also insert, and that's why some men really loves getting pegged or fingered in the butt. Uh, so you can also insert your finger, maybe one or two fingers. Uh, it's about one and a half inches inside the butthole.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Uh, and it is a part of the whole like prostate system. So yes, men can have an orgasm and it doesn't mean ejaculatory orgasm. So they might not ejaculate, but they can have a bodily orgasm.

• 43:51Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  From that as well, but they can also ejaculate if you also, um, um, stimulate the shaft. So you can do all of that combined and it should feel really good. That's why some men love when you give them a handjob and they're about to come. They're like, oh, put your finger inside me because it makes it more intense.

• 44:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 02

  But some men also just love full blown getting pegged.

• 44:09Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:10Bunnie XO?

  So let's talk about that.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  Have you pegged men before?

• 44:12Bunnie XO?

  I have not.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Do you want to?

• 44:14Bunnie XO?

  I've had people try to hire me back in the day in my old profession to peg them and I just never could. It wasn't my thing, but there was other girls who have done that. Can we talk about what pegging is and like for people at home who don't know about it? And, you know, what are some fun things that people can do with pegging?

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, putting finger inside and stimulating, stimulating it that way is also, also sort of like a, you know, pegging 101.

• 44:39Bunnie XO?

  Okay, I didn't know that. Okay, so maybe I have pegged some people.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, without any tools, right?

• 44:45Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  Originally or traditionally, when we say pegging, we mean um women wearing a strap on.

• 44:53Bunnie XO?

  That's what I was thinking.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  And then pegging men, so like fucking them in the butt.

• 44:56Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  Um, and to do that, you need to go then first like go purchase the the whole harness, purchase the whole harness. And you know, the strap on.

• 45:07Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  The dildo strap on. And usually if men are newbies, they want to start with something really small, so like a four inch dildo.

• 45:14Bunnie XO?

  Listen, if men can't even handle anal at first, how do you guys think we can handle your big old schlongs the first time?

• 45:20Speaker 02

  Preach, sis. I know. Yeah, I mean, like, if you want to do me anal, I do you anal.

• 45:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 45:26Bunnie XO?

  Tip for tag, buddy.

• 45:27Speaker 02

  We anal. It's not a me, it's you, it's we.

• 45:30Bunnie XO?

  I love it.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  But yeah, like if you're new to pegging, there's a lot of like resources online, like how to peg. But it's generally like wearing the strap on, lubing it a lot with lube. And then also start with massaging his butthole first, so it's relaxed and warm.

• 45:46Bunnie XO?

  When you say massaging, do you mean like just putting your two fingers on the outside?

• 45:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:51Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  Uh, but you can't have like super long nails, so.

• 45:53Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I wouldn't think that these would be fun in there. That would not be good.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  You don't have anal nails.

• 45:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, no.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  But yeah, massage the whole, the starfish, massage the whole, um, keep it like warm and loose. And you can also even start with like just one finger and like kind of lube it around like this. And then, yeah, slowly inserting.

• 46:13Bunnie XO?

  So I never knew putting a finger in the butthole. I have, I actually, one of my exes, I I banged him with a dildo. So I guess that's considered pegging too.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:20Bunnie XO?

  Also, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, got it. So yeah, I guess I have.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  So you're experienced.

• 46:24Bunnie XO?

  I've just never worn the strap on. Not that I have anything against it, I just don't think that, I don't, I don't think my thrust technique would be great. You know, I need to work on my thrust.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  I feel like it just feels so powerful to have a cock.

• 46:36Bunnie XO?

  Literally, have you pegged people?

• 46:38Speaker 02

  I have.

• 46:39Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  Not him, because he's not into anal.

• 46:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, well, oh, you're not into it, but he's not into it on himself.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  Well, but.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  He will.

• 46:46Speaker 04

  But here here's another thing, going back to your question about uh marrying a sexologist, is uh I'm now, I'm open to anything.

• 46:58Bunnie XO?

  Were you like that before?

• 46:59Speaker 04

  No way. No, no way. I grew up in a very. Loving parents, but very conservative. Like, I was ashamed of sex.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  And we don't mean conservative in general. We mean sexually conservative.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  Sexually conservative, yeah. So marrying her and being with her, she's opened my mind that I can't, I'll never say never to anything. So I'm, I'm always looking to grow and learn and...

• 47:25Speaker 02

  That means I get to peg him tonight.

• 47:26Bunnie XO?

  I was gonna say, I was gonna say, get the strap out, baby. Let's go.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  Eight inch one.

• 47:32Bunnie XO?

  He's over here blushing right now. He's like, ah, nope, didn't mean that.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, not tonight.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  I actually don't remember the brand. I don't want to shout out anyone, but like, I heard that there's a brand that makes a specific strap on for his butthole. Like, they do like a, it's like a custom made.

• 47:50Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I'm glad. They get the royal treatment. Meanwhile, women, we just have to take it. It could be fucking eight, 10, doesn't matter.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  10? Who have you met?

• 48:01Bunnie XO?

  I'm just saying, I'm just saying.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Is it him?

• 48:03Bunnie XO?

  No, no, this is him. His girlfriend's hot, though. His girlfriend is really hot. Like, he's, he's banging Brooke and she's beautiful. Alright, we're gonna ask you a couple more questions because I feel like this is so informative, but I'm gonna go into my Patreon because, oops, hold on, I just hit Pandora.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  Let's do it.

• 48:19Bunnie XO?

  I could sit here and listen to you talk all day. Like, you are so informative. But you know what's really cool about the information that you give is you also teach people to, you know, work through their trauma. And I think that's amazing because a lot of sexual blockage is from trauma. And actually, a lot of fetishes stem from trauma too, you know? And we always say on this podcast, we never yuck anybody's yum, you know? And we do a segment called Ask, Tell, Confess every week. And we get some pretty crazy questions. And I feel like I need to just start shooting people over to you. I'll be like, go ask Dr. Tara.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  Yes, ask me.

• 48:54Bunnie XO?

  Alright, hold on one second. Today's episode is brought to you by Vinted. Y'all know how it goes. You open your closet and have a million things hanging up, but somehow still feel like you have nothing to wear. That's me. And let's be real, half that stuff hasn't been touched in forever. Instead of letting all those clothes just sit there taking up space, you might as well make a little money off of them. If you haven't used it yet, Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app that makes it so simple to sell the quality clothes you no longer wear and discover unique pieces at great prices. And the best part? You don't have to make a whole project out of selling your clothes. Listing your clothes on Vinted is quick and simple. And once something sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So you don't have to worry about that part.

• 49:39Bunnie XO?

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• 50:03Speaker 05

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• 50:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we could call in Dr. Tara on the lifeline. That would be amazing. Um, this person Haley said, I want to know your opinion on womb meditation.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  I think it's lovely.

• 51:00Bunnie XO?

  I've never heard of it. What is it?

• 51:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, um, it's like to honor the yoni and the womb. And I think it's lovely. I think any sort of like sex-related meditation is lovely and effective because like I said, there's research that shows through the experiments that it works. Um, and honestly, we as women, we don't give honor and love to our womb that much. We just take it for granted. We take her for granted. So I think like womb meditation, yoni meditation, um, whatever you call it, sacral meditation. I think it's super, super lovely. And when I say like, research found it works, I mean, it really works on some of the people that actually had

• 51:41Speaker 02

  zero sex drive. There was a study that was about cancer patients who had like some sort of cervical cancer. So like these women had no sex drive. And then after doing this for like a certain period of time, they all have sex drive. So like it works.

• 51:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, I love meditation. I'm a he- I am a huge meditation advocate. I talk about it on the podcast all the time because I meditate like I love anything that is um, um, a reset, especially for your nervous system.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  Can I just say it's fucking amazing because we need more like celebrities to talk about meditation.

• 52:18Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  Because again, like generally meditation is free.

• 52:20Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  And it's literally therapeutic.

• 52:23Bunnie XO?

  It's literally breathing. It's breathing and getting in touch with your body. I feel like especially because in this world that we live in, we are all so detached from ourselves that it's like you deserve to give yourself 20 minutes a day of just being inside yourself and literally if you want to. Or, you know, figuratively speaking, but meditation I just think is so healing and so, so needed. They should teach it in schools.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

• 52:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. So do you teach it in your class?

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I talk about sexual mindfulness and meditation.

• 52:54Bunnie XO?

  What college do you teach at?

• 52:55Speaker 02

  California State University, Fullerton.

• 52:57Bunnie XO?

  You're gonna have everybody and their mom go sign up for your class.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  I mean, my classes are always full in the first five minutes.

• 53:02Bunnie XO?

  I bet. I could only imagine. I, if you, if I had a class back in the day, whenever I just was thinking about going to college, I would have gone to college just for your class.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 53:11Bunnie XO?

  Um, so Joni wants to know, I, I need some advice on what to do about menopause. I've been going through this shit for half my life, it seems now, but what helps with hot flashes and my sex drive? She said evidently I took a wrong turn and got lost.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  So, three things. Uh, one, there are menopausal supplements out there that work. You just need to vet the website really well, read their research, like read their clinical trials. Cause there are too many supplements in the world and some of them are shit, right?

• 53:44Bunnie XO?

  And don't buy them off Amazon.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  No, and there, it's just like made in some people's like garage. Yeah, like so make sure it's legitimate and, but there are like natural supplements that can help regulate the menopausal process. So supplements is one. Um, two is using a ton of lube for everything, including masturbation.

• 54:05Bunnie XO?

  Even if they have vaginal dryness, will the lube, will it still feel good to them?

• 54:10Speaker 02

  It will still feel, feel good. Yeah. I, I love silicone based lube because it stays slippery a long time.

• 54:15Bunnie XO?

  I literally preach silicone. I tell everybody, do not use water fucking base.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  No, it just goes dry fast.

• 54:21Bunnie XO?

  I don't like it. And you get a fucking yeasty beastie every time. Silicone, I feel like you don't. Yeah, like a yeast infection, I can't stand it.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  That's so cute. It's like a cartoon. Like, oh my God, we should make sex ed cartoon.

• 54:34Bunnie XO?

  Oh my God, that would be so fun.

• 54:37Bunnie XO?

  I'm serious, cause they're like raging. Like I hate it. I hate yeast infections.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  I just got one two weeks ago because I try new lube. I, I won't say the brand, but I try a new lube. A brand sent it to me, so I tried it and I got yeast infection. It was the worst.

• 54:50Bunnie XO?

  No, it's the worst.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  The worst.

• 54:51Bunnie XO?

  Silicone, you never have that problem.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  No. So, uh, use silicone based lube and just like, uh, become comfortable using it all the time. Uh, because a lot of people have this shame still, like I'm a woman, I should get naturally wet or else I'm not womanly.

• 55:06Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  But fuck that. There's also a lot of factors why you're dry. Like if you're taking antihistamine, like allergy pill, you're dry bitch. Like it's normal. Uh, so people don't know that. They're like, oh, I'm dry. Like I'm, you know, I'm not confident. He goes down and he's like, why are you dry? Are you not horny? Like, no, like your head can be horny, but your pussy is dry.

• 55:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, there's so many factors.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  I take so many like allergy pills that like sometimes I'm just not that wet.

• 55:32Bunnie XO?

  I literally have silicone lube in my purse right now.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Love it.

• 55:36Bunnie XO?

  Okay, like I can pull it out right now. That's how much I love lube. I think there's nothing wrong with it. And I mean, just fucking you can have so much fun with it and never have to think twice.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:47Bunnie XO?

  How do you make sex fun again, once you're in recovery from substance abuse? It was so much fun before, but now that I'm sober, it's very meh.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  Hmm, I think it needs a complete rewire of the brain.

• 56:01Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  Um, and I've read a lot of literature or research into like sober dating. And what people will do is they will integrate like being sober into like their sexy date. And that sort of starts the wiring process.

• 56:18Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  So what that means is when you go on a date with your boo or someone you're dating, uh, is have like, let's say like do, do a mocktail tasting. Have like five different mocktails and do like the tasting and actually talk about it. Integrate it into your romantic life first. So that it's not, it doesn't just feel like sex.

• 56:37Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 56:38Speaker 02

  Cause everything else, like it goes together.

• 56:40Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Um, so rewire the brain that like, hey, like when I feel loved, when I'm in a romantic situation, there's no alcohol.

• 56:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Right. Then when you transition into having sex, in order to make it more pleasurable, because you used to just have drunk sex all the time. And now you're having sober sex is to make sure that you integrate props, like tools. The reason why you feel sober sex is not as good or it's awkward is because your brain is literally trained that when you are drunk, it's the only time that sex is pleasurable. Like there is a neural pathway that tells you that. And in order to rewire that, maybe try something different. So not the same sex. So maybe it's not just like him trying to penetrate you. Maybe it's him using a toy on your clit.

• 57:31Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  And just change it.

• 57:32Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Change it, open new pathways, like neural pathways. When people ask me too, like, how, how come I can't have vaginal orgasm? It's because that pathway isn't open yet. You have to work on it and it takes. Take some time, but once that pathway with your brain and your body is open and it's connected, you can have it all the time. So yeah, um, I would highly recommend her to have different types of sex than when she had drunk sex.

• 57:59Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Including toys and tools and try that first. And once it's repositioned, then you can go back to the missionary and the other things you've done before.

• 58:08Bunnie XO?

  I couldn't agree with that more because I had to go through that when I got sober in two thousand seventeen off of drugs and then off of alcohol. I got sober in twenty eighteen and I had to learn how to be.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  So you don't drink anymore. Congratulations.

• 58:22Bunnie XO?

  Thank you so much.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:23Bunnie XO?

  I had to relearn how to be sexy, not fucked up. And it's, I'm telling you, it is a journey, but you can get there because now I don't need anything to feel sexy. And it's kind of like empowering because you like, you know, you can turn it on at any time and turn it off and you don't have to have the fucking hangover.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:40Bunnie XO?

  So everything you just said is one hundred percent spot on.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 58:43Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, that was really great advice.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  I love that he's snoring.

• 58:48Bunnie XO?

  I, I, I, do you see me over here? I'm like shaking up. I'm like, stop snoring. I'm gonna ask you like two more questions and then we're gonna talk about your book. These are just so good. I feel like so many people have so many questions too. Um, we already talked about squirting.

• 59:06Bunnie XO?

  I'm fifty seven years old and have been in a sexless relationship for twelve years. Any suggestions for a woman, um, who's with a man who just doesn't want sex?

• 59:17Speaker 02

  Wow. So first off, I want to tell her that you are beautiful, you are sexy, you are desired, you are wanted, and you don't need him initiating sex to tell you that. So I say that first because I know it's really, really, really hard to be in a relationship where the man, it, where it feels like the man doesn't desire you sexually. I have been in a relationship like that and it wasn't my fault or anything about me at all. Actually, he was struggling with testosterone problem and he, he personally had really low sex drive. But still, it had that spillover. Effect on me and my self esteem. And the whole time in that relationship, I did not feel good about myself.

• 1:00:02Speaker 02

  Because I'm like, oh, like even my partner didn't want to fuck me like, you know? So yeah, like I completely understand where she's coming from, although that sounds way more severe. Twelve years.

• 1:00:11Bunnie XO?

  Twelve years.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13Bunnie XO?

  Would you suggest that somebody just like, I don't know, I I would suggest like, hey, maybe sit this guy down? And if you guys can't come to an agreement of some sorts of trying to work on it, then maybe you guys need to go separate.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  Get a divorce.

• 1:00:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Bunnie XO?

  Cause there's so much life to live and you're fifty seven. That's not that old.

• 1:00:29Speaker 02

  No, that's young.

• 1:00:30Bunnie XO?

  You still have fricking, hopefully twenty more years to live, you know, like go get your fucking groove on, sister.

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. And silver dating, I mean, I I know it sounds kind of like bad.

• 1:00:41Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  No, but that's like people over fifty five, like silver dating.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  Silver dating is so popular.

• 1:00:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  So popular.

• 1:00:50Bunnie XO?

  Oh, they're horny. Old people, my dad, literally, my dad passed away last year, was banging all the way up until he croaked. It was like, they don't care. These people, no, I'm telling you, they, old people are horny. Who were, who was just telling me about the, you, what were you telling me?

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  They do. Nursing home.

• 1:01:11Bunnie XO?

  Say, can you, okay, say that on the camera, because I think this will be a good clip. Can we talk about how old people are horny as hell?

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  Old people are horny as hell. I mean, there are some statistics out there that say like senior homes or like nursing homes have the highest STI rates in the, in the country.

• 1:01:27Bunnie XO?

  That's insane. I can't even believe that.

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  Old people are fucking way more than Gen Z's, like way more than young people.

• 1:01:34Bunnie XO?

  Why do you think that is? Why is everybody so horny? Because I feel like the older generation was so repressed. Do you think they're in like their sexual liberation now?

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  They are. I think they are in their sexual awakening and I think when you're older, you're in the fuck it mentality.

• 1:01:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know.

• 1:01:49Bunnie XO?

  Obviously, if you're going around collecting STIs, like badges of honor.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  I have ten years left, just gonna fuck it and fuck.

• 1:01:56Bunnie XO?

  Give me gonorrhea, chlamydia and all, and all of the above.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  I mean, they're already on antibiotics for like the hips or the back. So like it works anyways.

• 1:02:04Bunnie XO?

  How are, how are they? Even get into STIs. What the hell is happening? Who's doing this fucking review? Like, what are we doing?

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  But for that moment, I really want her to be able to masturbate regularly. Because you can still get benefits from orgasms by yourself.

• 1:02:19Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  And that's like the cocktail of happy hormones. When you orgasm, you get oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin. It's incredible, like the benefits of orgasming. And you don't need anyone to help you. Like, you can just grab a toy and loop and orgasm on your own. So I highly recommend that person masturbating regularly to feel that sexual energy. And with him, I mean, see a sex therapist or sex coach that can help. But at the end of the day, if you can't talk and come to terms with it, I would, I agree with you.

• 1:02:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you have to. Do you feel like if you don't use, if you don't use it, you lose it? You know that saying? Do you feel like that's true?

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  100%.

• 1:02:59Bunnie XO?

  Me too.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. If you haven't had sex a long time as a woman, your vagina becomes, it kind of like shrinks a little.

• 1:03:06Bunnie XO?

  It gets cobwebs.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. And literally, it hurts so bad to have sex again.

• 1:03:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:13Bunnie XO?

  So definitely always twiddle the twacker, because it's gonna keep us happy no matter what.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. Help yourself.

• 1:03:19Bunnie XO?

  Dr. Tara, thank you for answering those questions. That was awesome. Let's talk about your book.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:03:24Bunnie XO?

  So you've just dropped a book, actually, or it's coming out?

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  It is. It's, it's coming out in October.

• 1:03:31Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 1:03:31Speaker 02

  But the preorder is open now. And it's called How Do You Like It? A Guide For Getting What You Want In Bed.

• 1:03:37Bunnie XO?

  I love this.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:03:39Bunnie XO?

  The book combines academic research with playful, no-filter advice. It includes quizzes, writing prompts, and sexual profile tools.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:49Bunnie XO?

  Tell me about this.

• 1:03:50Speaker 02

  Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs test?

• 1:03:52Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. Have I?

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  Like personality test?

• 1:03:55Bunnie XO?

  Maybe. Uh, is that like the Enneagram?

• 1:03:57Speaker 02

  E N F J I N T J, like that one?

• 1:03:59Bunnie XO?

  So I'm like a 7, 8.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  Wait, that's Enneagram, that's Enneagram. That's a number. So this one is like E N F J I N T P.

• 1:04:07Bunnie XO?

  Oh no, I need to take it.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. So that's the personality test. I basically came up with one for sex. So it's like a sex personality test. So when you take it- You'll know like who you are sexually.

• 1:04:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  And you can use it like to talk about with your date or your partner. And it allows it. It's a conversation starter. It really, my goal is to help. People in the world start talking about sex together. And this will help them because there will, there's a ton of quizzes in this book. So you take the quizzes, it will tell you like who you are, your sex personality. Uh, how you moan, like your sexual expression type. There's all kinds of quizzes on there that will help you understand who you are. And then be able to talk about who you are with your partner.

• 1:04:49Bunnie XO?

  I think that would be, that's amazing because it can actually like bring couples together.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:54Bunnie XO?

  Like some couples don't like to talk about sex. So maybe if they sat down and actually like did like a chapter a day or like a quiz a day. Like while they're laying in bed, like it would just spark something between them.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  That's actually America's biggest problem. I did a huge study based on five thousand people.

• 1:05:10Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  And I found that America's biggest problem is not talking about sex when it comes to romantic relationship.

• 1:05:16Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  They don't, people don't talk about sex.

• 1:05:19Bunnie XO?

  Do you think it's because they don't want to rock the boat with each other or they just don't know how to communicate?

• 1:05:24Speaker 02

  They don't know how to start.

• 1:05:25Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it's, it's a very vulnerable topic. It's like, hmm, where do we start? Where do we go? Do we just ask like, does this feel good? What else do you like? What if they say something that I don't want to do?

• 1:05:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:35Speaker 02

  You know, there's, there's a method to how to talk about it. And in my book, I talk about all of that.

• 1:05:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:41Bunnie XO?

  I love that. So we all got to go. I would like to get a copy of your book too.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Yes, we will send it to you.

• 1:05:45Bunnie XO?

  I don't have to, we'll order it. We love to, we love to contribute.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:05:48Bunnie XO?

  Um, how do you like it? Dr. Tara's debut book is coming out October twenty first, twenty twenty five. I love the month of October. I feel like all good things happen in October. So that's amazing. And shout out to you for your new book.

• 1:05:59Speaker 02

  Thank you. Thank you so much.

• 1:06:01Bunnie XO?

  So excited for you. Do you think this is going to be the first of many?

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, the first of many.

• 1:06:05Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:06Bunnie XO?

  I love it.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  And hopefully I become a New York Times bestseller.

• 1:06:10Bunnie XO?

  Oh, you will. We're putting it in the air. We're manifesting it.

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  I'm manifesting it. I'm manifesting it.

• 1:06:14Bunnie XO?

  I'm telling you, more people need books like this and it's so relatable. And the way that you're so down to earth. I feel like people just are comfortable with you and we need somebody like that in the world. So. Yeah.

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 1:06:27Bunnie XO?

  And writing a book is a very hard feat. My book drops in February.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:06:31Bunnie XO?

  I literally, the fact that you did this speaks volumes because writing a book is not easy.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 1:06:38Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, absolutely. Dr. Tara, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  Thank you. It has been orgasmic.

• 1:06:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm having like a full body experience.

• 1:06:47Bunnie XO?

  I've got my, what is this?

• 1:06:50Speaker 02

  Have an orgasmic day notebook. It's just a blank notebook that you can write, you know, your journal, do you journal?

• 1:06:56Bunnie XO?

  Um, I don't.

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  There you go. Now you can journal every day. You can write one sentence every day why you're proud of yourself.

• 1:07:02Bunnie XO?

  There you go. I will do that. I'll do that for sure. Shout out where everybody can find you, your socia's and all that stuff.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  Yes. So my website, Instagram and TikTok are lovebytes.co. That's L U V B I T E S dot C O.

• 1:07:15Bunnie XO?

  I love it. Thank you so much, Dr. Tara.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:07:18Bunnie XO?

  Appreciate it. You gotta come back, please.

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  I will. This was so much fun. You're like the best interviewer ever.

• 1:07:22Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I love you.

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  So calm, but very like inquisitive. It's great.

• 1:07:26Bunnie XO?

  I love you. Well, I, I literally could sit here for another hour and talk to you. So don't say that because we'll sit here. I have so many on this paper, on this notepad right here. Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Dumb Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.