643 Show the World Your Greatness with Trent Shelton

“WHAT YOU THINK IS YOUR GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT CAN BE YOUR GREATEST RESCUE.” Do you ever get down on yourself over mistakes you’ve made in the past? Are you upset about things that happened to you and feel like the best times of your life are over? They’re not. When I was younger and injured right as my professional career as an athlete was starting to take off, I thought that was it. I thought my life was over in my early twenties. I had no backup. No plan B. I ended up sharing myself with the world, and turning my selfish nature into something selfless. I started making it my goal to help others, to transform lives, and I’m so much happier than I ever could have been. Of course, a part of me wishes my career as an athlete had been successful, but when I think about everything I have and all of the memories I have from helping others, I wouldn’t change it for the world. There’s no reason you can’t do the same now. Your glory days are still coming. On this episode of The School of Greatness, I had the pleasure to sit down with someone who has gone through a similar situation as myself: Trent Shelton. Trent Shelton is a former NFL wide receiver that is now considered one of the most impactful speakers of this generation. He reaches over 50 million people weekly through his various social media outlets, and also travels the world to speak his message of creating lasting change in your life. I was fortunate enough to have him sit down with me and discuss how he’s impacted people. We talk about the three steps to rehab when you’ve lost your identity, what happens when you don’t celebrate your accomplishments, and how to build your communication strategy. Learn how you can apply the best of yourself each day, on Episode 643. Some Questions I Ask: When you dropped to the arena league, did you do pretty well? (6:55) Did you start doing videos during your “rehab” time? (9:17) What has being a husband and father taught you about life?(17:48) What numbers do you think we should be measuring? (21:44) What is the biggest challenge in intimate relationships? (25:12) What do you do to connect with your wife or your kids every single day? (29:54) What’s the biggest challenge you face moving forward? (32:12) Can you share a spoken word? (34:36) What about the people who are afraid to share their story? (38:53) In This Episode You Will Learn: What Trent did when Plan A fell through (7:34) How long someone should take before they come back into life after dealing with pain (11:12) The three Rs of rehab (12:24) What Trent means by, “Chasing a life of fulfillment wears you out.” (19:38) The person Trent held a grudge against the longest (23:14) The biggest challenge he faces in his marriage (27:52) Trent’s main goal and dream for himself (30:52) How social media is affecting relationships today (33:23) The biggest thing Trent has learned from reflecting on his life (37:08) Plus much, much more Get more from Lewis! Get my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Get The Greatness Mindset audiobook on SpotifyText Lewis AIYouTubeInstagramWebsiteTiktokFacebookX

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Lewis Howes?

  This is episode number 643 with Trent Shelton.

• 0:06Lewis Howes?

  Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week, we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin.

• 0:31Lewis Howes?

  Vince Lombardi said, "The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand." Welcome to the podcast and ask yourself, "Am I applying the best of myself to the task at hand right now? In my relationships, with my health, with the vision for my career or my business that I'm building, am I applying the best of myself every single moment to the best of my abilities? And if you're not, why aren't you? What's holding you back?

• 1:12Lewis Howes?

  What's keeping you from moving forward towards the vision of your life, towards your dream job, towards your dream business, the way you want to feel and look with your body, the energy you want to have? What is holding you back? Think about it, and let's get clear on how to move forward today. We've got Trent Shelton in the house, who is a former NFL wide receiver that is now considered one of the most impactful speakers of this generation. He reaches over 50 million people weekly through his social media outlets, videos, and he also travels the world to speak his message of creating lasting change in your life. Today, we're diving in deep about how to come back from losing your identity.

• 1:55Lewis Howes?

  Again, Trent lost his identity, similar like mine, playing professional football. And we break down what it's like going through that and how to get through losing your identity. Also, the three steps to rehabbing any pain in your life or any Struggle you're going through in your life, the three different steps necessary to rehabbing. What happens if you don't celebrate your accomplishments? You know, a lot of times I see people who can never receive a compliment, or they don't acknowledge themselves for the hard work they're putting in. And there is some long-term damage that will happen if you do not celebrate your accomplishments. We'll talk about that. Also, why chasing fulfillment can wear you out. Interesting concept. We'll dive in more on that.

• 2:38Lewis Howes?

  And Trent's communication strategy when talking with anyone. It's all about the arc, which we'll go into. And before we dive in, want to give a shout out to the fan of the week. This is from Vladimir Bellevue, who said, "I've been listening to this podcast for two and a half years during my commute to work. I always enjoy the wisdom shared by all the guests on the show. The content is always interesting, and Lewis has an amazing way of asking questions that bring perspective to each individual guest. I am thankful that I have an opportunity to receive the positive message to help navigate through life's ups and downs. Thank you to the School of Greatness for all the amazing love and content your team brings to the world." So Vladimir Bellevue, thank you, my friend, for leaving a review.

• 3:24Lewis Howes?

  We just hit over 3,000 reviews, over 60 million downloads on the School of Greatness podcast. And we continue to spread this message to anyone who wants to take their life to the next level, who wants to have inspiration, tools, insights to unlocking your fullest potential and achieving the greatness within you. So again, if you haven't left a review yet, go over to iTunes, leave a review, or on your podcast app right now, let me know what you think for a chance to be shouted out as the fan of the week. So again, make sure to check out designcrowd.com/greatness for all your design needs right now. All right, my friends, I'm excited to bring you this episode. Let me know what you think. Again, lewishouse.com/643. Take a screenshot on Instagram and tag me while you're listening to this

• 4:10Lewis Howes?

  of the thought that inspires you the most. Without further ado, let me introduce to you the one and only Trent Shelton.

• 4:21Lewis Howes?

  Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness Podcast. We've got the legendary Trent Shelton in

• 4:25Speaker 02

  How you doing, Louis, man?

• 4:26Lewis Howes?

  Good to see you, brother.

• 4:27Speaker 02

  Good to see you too, man.

• 4:28Lewis Howes?

  Excited you're here. I always love when another football player is on the show and we both played wide receiver.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:34Lewis Howes?

  Both had limited professional careers. I was trying to make it to the NFL, got injured playing in the Arena League in my rookie season. You were playing, practice squad in the NFL.

• 4:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 4:44Lewis Howes?

  Got injured, had to drop to Arena League and then...

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:48Lewis Howes?

  It was it, right?

• 4:48Speaker 02

  That was it, pretty much.

• 4:50Lewis Howes?

  Now, when you dropped down to the Arena League, did you, did you do pretty well, but you only played a half a season?

• 4:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, man, I did pretty good. I was playing with the Tulsa Talons. I ended up getting hurt there again, pretty much sprained my MCL. At that point, I'll just be honest, I didn't want to play. That was my way of trying to make it back to the NFL or who would I be without football, so.

• 5:09Lewis Howes?

  That was your identity, right?

• 5:10Speaker 02

  Exactly. That was my whole identity since I was like five years old, you know?

• 5:14Lewis Howes?

  Being a football player.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, sports, period.

• 5:17Lewis Howes?

  That's it.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  It's like Trent Shelton, the guy who plays sports. That's all that I ever knew in my whole life, which I'm sure you can relate to that.

• 5:22Lewis Howes?

  It was me too. I didn't really go to school to learn, I went to school to play.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Exactly. It's like athlete, student, right?

• 5:27Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. Student, athlete. Now, did you, did you have any other skills or a backup plan? Or was it just you had no clue what you were going to do afterwards?

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, no clue. My backup plan was, it wasn't one. It was Plan A. Of course, I went to school, I went to Baylor for Speech Communications, but to be honest, I kind of took that. I was in business and I was struggling. So I was like, let me, what can I take to, so I don't fail out, you know? So I went to Speech Communications.

• 5:51Lewis Howes?

  Sociology, yeah.

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly, right? All the athletes, that's what you know they're going to major in. Yeah, I took Speech Communications and, but I didn't know what I wanted to do. My whole thing was, okay, well, I'm gonna make it to the NFL. After my NFL career, I'm going to be a broadcaster. Like, that was my whole plan, right? But it didn't work like that.

• 6:07Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Did you go into that role afterwards and try to make it there, or did you?

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Nah, man. Right after the NFL, you know, I went to Arena, but I was in a dark place with my life, into everything, drugs, alcohol, just really at a rock bottom. I went into rehab time from there. Rehab time for me was just like getting my mind and my body and my soul right, because I got fed up. You know, I just was like, man, I can't keep living this lifestyle. I have a son. I gotta set an example for him. And so I went right into rehab time and I never wanted to be a speaker or anything like that. Speaking was my biggest fear. If you would've asked me like 10 years ago, would I be here, I would tell you no. No way.

• 6:42Lewis Howes?

  Cause you didn't wanna speak in front of people.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Period, no.

• 6:44Lewis Howes?

  It's terrifying.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Exactly. The fear of being judged, fear of being perfect. Just the fear of my story even mattering. You know, I didn't think nothing was special about my story and what I went through. Growing up, just to be honest, it wasn't never, I wanna be a speaker. Even though my dad was a pastor, but I just like, I never wanted to be a speaker when I grew up. That's not like the goals that you have as kids, especially where I'm from, you know, it's like nah. I wanted to play sports and so that was my only option growing up. It wasn't no plan B at all.

• 7:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, wow, okay. So you started getting into rehab time. Does that mean you started doing videos online at that time on YouTube, Facebook?

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Back then it was uh.

• 7:19Lewis Howes?

  MySpace back then?

• 7:20Speaker 02

  It was almost, right? It was like, I would say it was like rehab-ish, that's what I mean by that. I was like one foot in, one foot out. I was transitioning, you know, I was talking about things and I really meant them, but I was still living a certain lifestyle. And so I was also.

• 7:33Lewis Howes?

  What do you mean, you were doing drugs or alcohol?

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Well, just, I mean, weed, you know, going out partying, clubbing. And there's nothing wrong with, if you wanna go out and nothing like that, but.

• 7:42Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  For me, my actions weren't reflecting my words at all. And so, deep down inside, that bothered me too. I didn't wanna be a hypocrite, I didn't wanna be that guy. But also I know it's a process and so I was like on Ustream back then. And I would just play video games, turn on my Ustream and just talk to people about random stuff and then. It was funny because people started to ask me about life and I would give them advice back and they was like, can you come out here tomorrow? I'm like, nah, I don't think so. I started to come back and then I was like, well, I don't have time to Ustream all the time. I just started making videos and so some of the videos were sports, me working out, some was me sharing my stories, some was me rapping, you know, so. I was just trying to figure out my way, but it was kinda my way of therapy for me, just releasing everything that was inside of me.

• 8:22Lewis Howes?

  Now, did you actually go to rehab yourself or anything?

• 8:25Speaker 02

  Nah, I never went to rehab, man. Like I never went to the rehab people. I always say, yeah, but I just said, we all in rehab, you know, cause that name came from sports. Because when you're hurt, you go to rehab and rehab as we know, it sucks. Especially as an athlete, right? You wanna come back and you come back too quick, you get hurt even more. So that process is terrifying honestly because, and it's a struggle, but it's about putting strength back into a weakness. And if you do it right. I mean, we see a lot of people, Adrian Peterson is one example, you know, he had the greatest season ever. You do it right, sometimes you'll come back stronger than what you was before you got hurt. I took that same mindset to life. I said, you know, mind, body, and soul, I'm gonna rehab my life, I'm gonna put strength back into these weaknesses. And I'm gonna just take my time and just see where it goes for me.

• 9:07Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. Now, if someone's dealing with a pain, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, whatever it may be, spiritual pain, do you, are you saying that they should take enough time of rehabbing first? Before they come back into life, or can they do both at the same time? Because it's different with that physical injury, you don't wanna come back too soon.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Right. You know, I think you should always work on yourself first. You can definitely come back as far as like, sharing your journey, your testimony, but I feel like the most important work you ever can do is on yourself. And so like, for me, it was isolation period with me. I was in my room, I remember crying like a baby, just saying, you know, I wanna change my life. And so I was going to the gym. Rehab at first meant me going to the gym, 24 hour fitness, 12 AM. Uh, with one of my friends, Junior at that time, and we would sit there and fellowship, talk, work out, nobody be in there. That's what rehab meant to me. So I was working on myself and, like I said, I never wanted to be a speaker. I didn't do this to, say I wanted to have all these likes on Facebook or whatever. But as I started to share my journey, just like, oh, you at the gym, or you doing this, you doing that, and people started to take to that. It was very

• 10:08Speaker 02

  unessential for where I'm at today. It was just really my way of healing. I always tell, when I go speak, rehab time wasn't for the people, it was for me.

• 10:17Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  And then me sharing my story, people were able to relate.

• 10:19Lewis Howes?

  Wow. Sort of some of the practical tools that you share with people about something they're going through, whether it be some type of pain emotionally, where they feel stuck, where they feel like their plan A is now over, and they've gotta figure out plan B, how can they start practically rehabbing? Do you have any practical steps?

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure. I break rehab down in, uh, three parts. The first part is three Rs. The first R is reality. Myself, you gotta face it. That doesn't mean that you have to stay stuck there, but a lot of times we run from our reality, right? We try to smokescreen it, we try to hide from it, and we know reality will find you regardless. You can sweep it under the rug, but it'll still be there. And so one of the quotes that I like to use is, you'll never win your war by running from your battles. And so it's time to face your battles. It's gonna be hard, it's gonna be tough, you will be judged. But acceptance to me is one of the most powerful things you can do, is you can accept, okay, this is where I'm at with my life, and also accept that I don't have to stay there. Um, the second part is, the second R is release. And that's really burning every single bridge that leads your life back to destruction. So this is a tough one, right? That could be habits.

• 11:21Lewis Howes?

  What did you do?

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Oh, man. Man, a lot. Pretty sure a lot of people see my video friends, you know, um, my spoken word. And a lot was my circle. I just realized that the people I was around, not that they were bad people, they weren't right for me at that time in my life. And I couldn't continue hanging around these people expecting to elevate my life when they were keeping me down. And honestly, too, I was a bad friend for other people, too. So I had to release those things. I had to burn certain bridges as far as habits. I was doing my life like, like I said, smoking or whether it was drinking, clubbing all the time because I realized those things weren't going to get me to a place where I wanted to go. So I had to let those things go. And that's discipline, right?

• 11:57Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Getting good at saying no to the things that don't get you a yes. And so I had to start saying, nah, nah. Even if I wanted to do these things, I wanted to hang around these friends, I just couldn't. And some people understood it, some people didn't.

• 12:08Lewis Howes?

  Not that you're saying it's bad if people do those things.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  No.

• 12:10Lewis Howes?

  But it wasn't supporting your vision for the life.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly. You have to look at your life and say, you know what? If you want to be here and you're doing things that don't get you there, you have to make those changes. Now, if those things get you to where you want to go, cool. But for me and my life, those things weren't transitioning me into my greatest, my greatest me. So I had to let it go.

• 12:27Lewis Howes?

  Okay, that's a second R.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Release. And then the last one is repair. Basically, repair is this digging up the negative seeds in your life and replacing those seeds with seeds of positivity. And so that means going back. A lot of us, we have seeds that can stem from our childhood. We have seeds that can stem from bad relationships, bad friendships, uh, seeds that even with me, I had a problem with accepting compliments. And this is kind of weird when people like, what, what do you mean by that? But growing up my whole entire life, I had two older brothers, um, and I credit them for everything. They told me what to do and what not to do. So, um, but I was always the one that kind of got the attention just because sports and things like that. And so I always had a fear that they would become jealous, even though they were the most, they still are the most supportive brothers ever. And so I would basically hide my accomplishments.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  And I realized that I was doing this even in college, the NFL, even at the beginning of rehab time. So I was teaching myself not to celebrate. If you don't celebrate your accomplishments, you start to feel like guilty for being successful. And then you start to feel like what you're doing is a burden. In 2015, 2014, 2015, I went to quit rehab time. Just to be honest with you, I just couldn't handle everything that was coming with it. I was too much pressure.

• 13:36Lewis Howes?

  The success, acknowledgement, the following.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Exactly. And even people around me, the expectations and just people pulling on me or, you change, all this type of stuff. And I said, I just did this to, for one, help my life and I want to help people. I don't care about all this other stuff.

• 13:51Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  But I realized that I had to let go of those things. And so I had to go back in my life and see where those seeds are at. Because it's kind of like anything, if you don't get down to the root issues, those problems will find its way back to the surface. So you might say, well, I'm in a relationship and I'm accepting this. But really, the reason you're accepting is because you saw your mom or your dad go through this. That's your definition of relationship or your mindset is because something stemmed from a long time ago. And so a lot of times, we try to handle things at the surface level issue and we handle those problems, but then we wonder why, whether it's our next relationship or our next friendship, we're in the same situation because we haven't got down to the root issues. And so repair is really diving down deep. Maybe going back to the places you tried to forget, you don't want to go back to, but you have to go back to it. Maybe it's giving forgiveness to somebody.

• 14:33Lewis Howes?

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Going back to those places so you can really dig up those roots and really replace those seeds of negativity with seeds of positivity.

• 14:39Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. So those are the three Rs.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 14:41Lewis Howes?

  That's rehab time.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:42Lewis Howes?

  Gotcha. Okay. So once after we repair, is that the last one?

• 14:46Speaker 02

  That's the last one, yeah.

• 14:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. What's the next step after that? Is that, that's kind of the process? Or is it then rinse and repeat until?

• 14:53Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 14:54Lewis Howes?

  For the rest of your life.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Exactly. You hit it right on the nail.

• 14:56Lewis Howes?

  Because you're never gonna be like.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Exactly. I mean, I go through rehab every single day. You know, I have things I deal with, struggles I deal with.

• 15:02Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  I'm sure you get this, like you're in the light or, you know, you're a speaker and people think that you have it all together. I'm like, man, the reason I have so many videos, to have so many questions, you know, that I have, so many insecurities that I have. But I've decided to also not try to play the perfection game. Like, I like to share with people, man, I'm just like you. Like, I'm at the top of the mountain telling you how to get up there. We're climbing this mountain together and it's okay. I just don't stay there. So one of the things I like to tell people is that it's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay that way. And so I have processes and things in place where my mindset has changed when I go through things where in the past, I would be victim to those things. Now I look at it as like, how can I, how can this help me? How can this help other people? And I don't stay there.

• 15:41Lewis Howes?

  Hmm. What has becoming a husband and a father taught you about life in general?

• 15:47Speaker 02

  A lot, man. It was taught me a lot. I think the main thing is being selfless. Once you realize that your life is not just about you, because you know, with my whole sports career, just to be honest, I was never arrogant person. It's just not me, but it was still about me. I wasn't, I guess.

• 16:04Lewis Howes?

  Training, practice.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Exactly. Exactly. It's about myself. But then having a son, daughter, and then a wife, you realize that your life is bigger than you. Tristan changed my life. People always ask, and I'll just be totally transparent with you. That situation happened out of wedlock, and now me and Maria are married, but at that time, I wasn't being a man. You know, I was with the Colts, and me and her, we were great friends, and that situation happened. And honestly, man, I wasn't, I felt like it was a disappointment. I was like, child support, like, I knew Maria, like, we knew each other really well for months, but I'm just like, how, I don't know how this is gonna turn out. I was scared. First of all, I had to face the situation now head on. I couldn't run from it. I had to face the reality, because that reality was coming. But to fast forward, and it even hurts me to say that, because Tristan,

• 16:48Speaker 02

  you know, what you think can be your greatest disappointment can be your greatest rescue. Tristan literally saved my life. When I looked at him and said, "I don't want you to grow up to be like me, and if you think you're a father, if you're a sister, or you're anybody in leadership, you gotta say that to somebody, whether it's a coworker, or your son, or your kid, it should tell you a lot about your life." And immediately, I said, "You know what? I have to do something with myself, because my son is not just gonna listen to what I say, he's gonna follow what I do, and I refuse to give him a cycle that's not positive for his life." And so, he's my why, he's my motivation. I mean, he's right here. I now have a daughter, so she's gonna ask, like, "Where do I get my tattoo next, right?" He definitely changed my life, and marriage is a process, but it's taught me how to love, like, outside of myself, and it's really taught me a lot, man. So, my family is everything, and the reason why I do it.

• 17:33Lewis Howes?

  Hmm, that's cool, man. You said this at one point, you said, "Chasing a life of fulfillment wears you out." What does that mean? Because I think the way you're explaining it is something different than what I would think fulfillment.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Empty fulfillment. A following, numbers. Exactly, man. Like, people say, "Numbers don't lie," and I tell people all the time, "Numbers do lie." You know, they do. Some numbers do lie. And it's not about the whole social media thing. You know, one thing I get is, "Oh, you have a million followers," or this or that, and it's like, that doesn't matter, man, because when I started, I remember when I was first speaking, it would be like a row of people, and those people would be my family and my friends, you know? And it's always about, for me, impact over numbers. So I tell people, "You have a thousand followers, you impact all a thousand, but you have somebody who has a million followers, and impacts..." None of them. None of them. Who's making a greater impact? And so for me, realizing status, the things that the world offers, what society tells you you have to be, you know, you have to make this amount of money, you have to... And nothing wrong with none of these things,

• 18:28Speaker 02

  but if you're allowing those things to define who you are, then you're always gonna feel empty at some point. For me, I've tried to find peace in other things, whether it be nature, whether it just be my family, and all those other things are extra credit. Because at the end of the day, I've never met a person, you know, I even talked to my grandma before she passed away, and I say, you know, like, "What's one thing that you would do over, or if you had one wish, what would it be?" She says, "More time. More time with people that I should've spent more time with, more conversations. I wish I would've gave forgiveness earlier," and things like that. And so, nobody's ever said, "I wish I had more followers," or anything like that. So, I try to remind myself, in this crazy world, that we're always programmed that these are the things you need to be successful. I try to remind myself what true success is for me,

• 19:11Speaker 02

  and that's love, peace, and happiness, and joy, and that's how I wanna live my life. So, everything else is just kinda extra credit, cool. But if it doesn't come, it doesn't come, because I just know in the NFL, like, when I had the most money, when I had that title, when I had the world in my hands, I was the emptiest. And so, those things, like I said, those things are necessities to life, I get that, but you can't make those things your whole entire life, because that can come or that can go. And so, I'm trying to build something that will last forever, whether I have that, or I don't have it. Yeah. What numbers do you think we should be measuring? Uh, that's a good question, man. I think, I don't know. What do you think? So, we can maybe have a conversation with it. That's a good question. I think the amount of minutes that you made count. Yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  In the days, you know, the minutes you made count, or the moments you made count, the seconds, whatever. I definitely agree.

• 19:59Lewis Howes?

  The days that you were living with joy and abundance and gratitude and service over the days that you weren't.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  Right.

• 20:09Lewis Howes?

  Over the days where you're just selfish or making everything about you. Yeah, and the amount of times that you were able to forgive, like how quickly you were able to forgive.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 20:18Lewis Howes?

  The amount of minutes you were able to forgive quickly when you held a grudge. Because I think, holding a grudge or not forgiving someone is one of the most destructive things we can do to ourselves.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:27Lewis Howes?

  Is when you hold on to negativity and pain for what someone else said or did, or what you think they did. Whether they did it or not, just holding on to that is the biggest disservice to yourself and other people. Because when we live with that negativity and anger just festering in our hearts and our souls, it really takes us away from our joy. It robs us of deeper, meaningful relationships and the moments that matter. So I think it's important to learn how to forgive quickly, which is really hard if you're used to taking things personally. Or if you've been hurt in the past and you're defensive. So I think it's a skill that we have to constantly learn how to do. It's not easy.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Not at all. I'm definitely with you on that.

• 21:08Lewis Howes?

  What's the person you've, in the past, where you held a grudge on to for the longest? What was that?

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think I've had a few. I've had definitely some friends. I've had people a part of my team in the past. Family members, not my immediate family, but I've had like, I guess, extended family members. But definitely people or a person on my team that.

• 21:31Lewis Howes?

  Really?

• 21:31Speaker 02

  And it's not.

• 21:32Lewis Howes?

  Did they cross you the wrong way?

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, just, yeah, I think, yeah. I think it's a little bit of that, but also too, it's about, you know, I always try to understand like, where people are at, right? Because I think understanding is the key to life. Like, because if somebody's going through something, they went through something. You know, even with addiction, like, my life changed when I went, it's a group called Hope Soldiers with my friend Lindsay Grinky in Seattle. And I always have this, not this view or judgment of addicts, but it's just like what society always tells you. And I was able to sit in a room with, I think it was like 13, 14 year olds. And we did this thing, If You Really Knew Me. And we all went around and talked about things that we never shared. And it just made you look at just them differently. Like, a lot of them didn't even have a chance from their parents going through addictions and things like that.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  And so for me. It's understanding that people have went through things, they go through things. And so now I'm in a better place of trying to understand the person before I judge them, before I hold against them. But yeah, it's just a lot of things. I think somebody wanting certain expectations from me, for myself, and also expectations they had on me silently that I didn't know about. And so I think that's a big thing because somebody can have expectations on you that will never tell you what those expectations are and they expect you to meet those expectations without saying a word.

• 22:44Lewis Howes?

  Communicating.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 22:45Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Communication is key. It's everything. Connection is key.

• 22:48Lewis Howes?

  And I think that's one of the challenges in a lot of relationships that are struggling is that there's these expectations that aren't being communicated.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 22:55Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 22:56Lewis Howes?

  These silent expectations, like you said, and therefore there's conflict within partnerships all the time. Whether it be business partnerships or intimate relationships. Cause you talk a lot about relationships right now in your videos that I'm seeing. Is that one of the biggest challenges people face or what is the biggest challenge in an intimate relationship?

• 23:12Speaker 02

  I think it's definitely communication. Communication is, like I always say, is like oxygen to your relationship. Without it, it will die. And even going a step deeper, I think communication is the first step, but even a more important step is connection. A lot of people can't communicate, but if you can connect, you can communicate anger, you can communicate anything. But if you're not connecting on a deep level, connection is power, period. Like without anything plugged in, like that light wouldn't work in here. You know, connection is everything. So you have to watch what you're connected to. My relationship and the relationships I had, I try to make sure our connections are always powerful, that's always meaningful. Because if not, those connections can also drain you.

• 23:49Lewis Howes?

  Take your power.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  And burn you out.

• 23:51Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  And so you have to evaluate those things in your life. It's open, honest communication. You know, I like to, I have this little, my wife, it's funny because she says, you're using ARC communication on me, right? But I have this, this method of communication. It's ARC, A R C. And I tell people, because you get it a lot, like, well, I can't communicate with this person. They don't want to listen. They don't want to talk to me. And I always ask like, well, how are you trying to communicate with them? On your level or on the level they can understand? And usually it's out of anger, it's out of frustration and nobody, if you're like me, you raise your voice to me, I guess it's like the, me being an athlete from coaches, I'm like, I'm turned off.

• 24:24Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  You know, just talk to me out of respect and we can talk it out. But if you yell at me, I'm like, I don't want to hear it.

• 24:29Lewis Howes?

  It's the worst.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 24:30Lewis Howes?

  Right?

• 24:31Speaker 02

  We've been hearing it our whole life. Do more, right? And it's like.

• 24:35Lewis Howes?

  Catch the ball.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 24:36Lewis Howes?

  You think I wanted to drop the ball?

• 24:38Speaker 02

  Exactly. And I told my wife that, I tell everybody, I think it's just the sports nature in me. I just like, man, just communicate with me if you gotta take a break, whatever.

• 24:45Lewis Howes?

  Peacefully.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Exactly. I can respond to that all day. So with our communication, A stands for appreciation. So I tell people, now go to that person and something much you appreciate.

• 24:54Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, that's great.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  You know, the R stands for reassurance. Reassuring that you want the best from them, that you're on their side. And then C, place your concern. Because I can guarantee two things. One, you're gonna be in a better place to communicate that. Your anger is probably went down. And for two, they're in a better place to receive it. And so now you can have, you can get rid of all the friction. And just focus on the concern at place and people are in better places to receive it.

• 25:17Lewis Howes?

  Great formula. Appreciation first.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 25:20Lewis Howes?

  So acknowledge, you know, acknowledge the appreciation. The second thing is reassurance.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 25:24Lewis Howes?

  Reassure that everything is gonna be okay or that you just wanna get on their side. And then here's my concern.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Exactly. Because sometimes you can forget. I mean, if you're yelling at a person, it's like, this person, are we opponents? Are we teammates, you know? You know, I can't say it can work for everybody, but I'll say 98% of people.

• 25:38Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  That it puts you in a better place for sure.

• 25:40Lewis Howes?

  And it makes you calmer, makes the other person calmer as opposed to triggered by you just attacking someone right away.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Facts over feelings, exactly.

• 25:46Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, exactly. That's powerful. What's the biggest challenge you faced in your marriage?

• 25:52Speaker 02

  Make sure I say it right, they know. I would say probably, our relationship is, I can't say it's perfect, because no relationship is perfect. But I would say.

• 26:00Lewis Howes?

  Communication or is it something else or?

• 26:02Speaker 02

  I would say maybe traveling and just being, and being away. She would never say it, Maria would never say it. But I know even leaving today, I mean, I have a two-year-old daughter. And you know, that's, I mean, that's, Maya's great, but she's a handful. And nine-year-old son Tristan, I mean, he can take care of himself. But I think, I think me traveling, I think also her, the pressure of being who I am on her. Because she's not a speaker, that's not who she is. And I tell her, that's not who you have to be. You don't have to sit there and be somebody that you're not just because I'm this. And I think sometimes people have those expectations, like, oh, who's your wife? Does she speak too? It's like, that's not her. So I think, I think silently, she would never say it. But I think those two things are tough on her at times. And I expect that from that.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  And so what I do is, I don't travel a lot. Because one of my things is, man. I think it's no point of being successful in the world's eyes if you're not successful in your family's eyes. Because at the end of the day, that matters to me, what my son says, what my wife says, what my daughter says. And so I scale back a lot. Yes, I'm traveling right now, I'm going to Fiji and Australia, but also they're meeting me out there. Then I'll scale back for a while. 2016, when my daughter was born, I took all 2016 off. I make sure that when I'm there, I'm there.

• 27:15Lewis Howes?

  Attention all when you travel.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Exactly. Because I get that question a lot, like, how do you find balance? And I'm just like, you know, I think you can try to drive yourself crazy trying to find balance, especially in the unbalanced world at times. So I just say, you know what, when I'm at home, they give my full attention. I'm not on my phone all the time. People think I am just because social media, I'm not. I post, get off, maybe respond to some people. And then when I'm away, I make sure I give my attention to the events and things like that. So I think, without her saying that, I think, you know, it's hard for her, I can only imagine. I just try my best to, to make it as easy as I can for her in the process.

• 27:48Lewis Howes?

  What do you do to connect with your wife or your kids every single day? Do you have something that you live by, or is there a non-negotiable for you? Or you do some type of practice or exercise or just habit that you, you follow?

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, uh, right now, we're trying to, uh, we're trying to implement this, but just basically unfocused quality time. Just at the dinner table, I know that might seem like the simplest thing, but I think we live in a generation now, especially with younger kids. The tablet, the phone, it carries people away. You know, every night we try to definitely put those phones up. Tristan, he definitely reminds us because if he can't be on his phone, he'll definitely call us out on it for sure. So we just really, yeah, he'll call us out quick. But we definitely spend that time just connecting with each other, talking about life, talking about goals and dreams of each other. I think that's a big thing in relationships in your family is like, when's the last time you talked about your kids' goals and dreams? And your wife's goals and dreams, and then as a, as a collective, what do you want to do with your family? What kind of legacy do you want to leave?

• 28:43Speaker 02

  And so we try to have those conversations, and that's something that we kind of implemented probably like a few months ago. It's been working.

• 28:48Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What's your main goal and dream for yourself?

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Man, I think my main dream, man, is just, and this is like, I guess a cop-out answer, but this is true, just to continue doing what I'm doing. I want to just impact lives through my story and just through being real. I want to understand people. Like, when I leave here, I don't care if people was like, oh, you're the best, whatever. I don't care about all that. I just want people to know that. Trent cared about helping people and he was real. You know, when you met him in person, when you seen him anywhere, like he was the same person that's online. And so that's what I care about. And I have a hunger to connect with people. You know, it trips people, I'll call somebody, I'll order a shirt. I'll call them, you know, I'm shipping out the shirts. Yeah, I'm super hands on. They trip out. I didn't expect this. That's just who I am and I don't do it for like any other reason, except I want to connect with people because rehabbers are the reason

• 29:35Speaker 02

  that I'm able to do what I do. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be able to travel the world and speak. And so I try to give as much time to them as I can to let them know that I care about them because they inspire me. When I'm having a bad day, when I'm going through my moments, even my doubt, my insecurities at times, like, am I doing enough? I just go online, open up a message and I'm like, I am. You know, I made an impact on this life. And so I'm in my inbox, probably like an hour a day, just responding to people and getting those messages to fill it back up. Exactly.

• 30:03Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, learning to receive.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 30:06Lewis Howes?

  That's good, man. What's the biggest challenge you face moving forward? You've got this big platform, you know, I don't know, whatever, 10 million followers all over the place. You're getting millions of views in your videos. You're impacting a lot of lives. What do you feel like is the biggest challenge? Or what will be the biggest challenge for you moving forward?

• 30:22Speaker 02

  Hmm, I was like, Shay, what's the biggest challenge, man? I think content, well, I don't even say content, but I kind of battle that. I've been doing this for almost, since 2009, probably 2011, like full time. And so like, I sometimes I feel like I've talked about everything. It's like, what else do I talk about? I hear you. But I realized too, that there's a lot of people who haven't heard me speak on and are like, it's people that's like, I saw that video, but I watched it this time again and it meant something different to me. And so I've always battled with that, just content, like, what else do I create? Just making sure I'm connecting with people, you know, even through social media, you know, our social media is changing, algorithm is changing, all these other things. Yeah, it's like, you know, I just want to reach my people. I don't want to have to worry about all the extra stuff, you know? So just dealing with those things, I think, kind of are the biggest challenges.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Just finding better ways to connect with people on different levels, you know?

• 31:10Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Wow. I feel like you've been talking more about relationships a lot lately.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:15Lewis Howes?

  On Instagram and Facebook, I see all your videos talking about relationships. Is that because you feel like people are struggling with relationships more now because of social media? How it's bringing us together, but also disconnecting us by not being present?

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 31:28Lewis Howes?

  Is that why you feel like you're doing it? Or is it because people are asking you those questions?

• 31:31Speaker 02

  I think I started with kind of relationships and friendships. Yeah, like my first probably viral video was like your prayer for the heart that's meant to love you. And then know your circle. And so like people, I feel like come to me for that. The friends and just dealing with removal from your life and getting toxic out of your life and building better relationships. And so I think it's definitely like requests from people. I think they want that a lot. And so I try to get, but also too, I have to be in a place for me to share those things. I don't want to just share stuff because they want me to share it because it's not going to come from a real authentic place.

• 32:01Lewis Howes?

  You have to feel it.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Have to feel it for sure.

• 32:03Lewis Howes?

  And feel like an integrity around those topics or?

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Exactly. And so like I would dive into spoken words now a lot. It's kind of been, so I used to love rapping, kind of my way of diving into that. And we want to dive into music a little bit more, just different avenues for creativity to reach people on different levels. The book is coming. So I'll tend to always stick around relationships and things like that. I feel like that's just what I'm here to do, you know, help people with that. But also there's other components to my life. I feel like from building a brand and doing all these things to, that I can help people with also.

• 32:32Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. Can you share a spoken word?

• 32:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure.

• 32:35Lewis Howes?

  Something?

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:36Lewis Howes?

  Let's hear one.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  Okay, let me see. Okay, I'll do this. Can I spit out my gum right quick?

• 32:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  All right. Your life isn't over. Never let your struggle make you think that. I know your setback was major, but so can be your comeback. You see, strength, pain builds that. I know it might be hard for you to feel that, but even in your darkest storms, there's a plan for you to still shine bright. Please believe that. I know because God did it for me. God would allow you to go through places you don't understand just to bring you to the place where he needs you to be. So don't let this season take your life. You can win this fight. If it wasn't for my darkest storms, I would have never found the strength to shine my light. There's a purpose greater than your pain. There's no growth without rain. Sometimes it takes your hardest storms to birth your greatest change. Your life is not finished.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  You keep living. It doesn't matter what happened in your past, you're just a choice away from a new beginning. Your perspective can either be your power or your prison. So no matter what, appreciate your life and build your testimony with the test you were given. Listen, I get it. I know depression is real, but so is deliverance. You can heal from those afflictions, overcome those addictions. It's time to put a semicolon where you're trying to put a period because your sentence hasn't ended. You've got more life to live. So don't give up and forget anybody or anything that's ever tried to make you feel like you're not enough. You're enough, you're more than enough. So don't try to end your story just because this chapter sucks. Breakdowns happen right before breakthroughs. So I pray you break that cycle that's trying to break you. I pray you kill those thoughts that are trying to kill you. No mistake is too great as long as you forgive you.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Make your tomorrow new. You always have a choice. Never stay silent about your battles. Give your pain a voice. It's okay to not be okay. We're all one struggle away. Your change is gonna come. You just keep believing day by day. This storm will eventually run out of rain. And remember this, we are all a little broken. But the last time I checked, broken crayons still color the same. You go defeat your pain. Your life isn't over. It's just beginning. It's rehab time. Let's get it.

• 34:42Lewis Howes?

  Damn, I like it. I like that. Woo, got the chills at the end there. Oh, man. That was good. How many poems have you done?

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Completed, probably about 10. I've probably got about 100. That's actually have one coming out really soon called Loyalty is Rare. People love my friendship one, so I think they'll really like this one coming out.

• 35:02Lewis Howes?

  Wow. What have you learned about looking back at your life at different moments? Situations and experiences? What's the biggest thing you've learned about reflecting on all this?

• 35:14Speaker 02

  I would say the word comes to me right now is just appreciation. Appreciate it all, the bad, the good, the ugly, the times where I was complaining, the times where I was stressed, the times where I was angry at God, the times where I thought my life was over, I had nothing else to my life. Appreciate those times, appreciate the good, appreciate the people. Because all of that taught me so much about my life. It built who I am today. If it wasn't for my experiences, I wouldn't be able to talk like I speak today. I would have nothing to talk about.

• 35:43Lewis Howes?

  Right.

• 35:43Speaker 02

  And so.

• 35:44Lewis Howes?

  So we need those challenges.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Big time. And what's even even more important is that being comfortable with those challenges and understand that your transparency will lead to other people's transformation. And so being open. And I'm at a place now where I'm so open as far as even when I speak on stage, letting people know like, hey, I have these current struggles now. Even in my story, things that I kind of didn't want to talk about before because I was afraid to be judged. And people looking at me like, oh, you used to do that? But I realized that, my mom taught me this a long time ago. She said, when you're true with your story, you're going to reach people that other people can reach. And he said, same thing with with anybody. There's people out there that have stories that will reach people and transform people's lives

• 36:27Speaker 02

  that I could never do, that you could never do, but only their story could do. And so I want people, when they watch me or when they see me in person or at an event, to leave there and say, you know what? I can be who I am and be comfortable with that. The imperfections, the perfections, the hard times, the struggles, the storms in their life. I want to be open with it because I know this is a step towards my healing.

• 36:47Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, wow. What about the people listening or watching who feel afraid to share their story? They feel like, why me? Kind of like you were 10 years ago, like, why would someone listen to my story? I remember being terrified to speak publicly and I did a year-long training with Toastmasters just to get over the fear of speaking in front of a group. What would you say to people who haven't put their message out there? Or or feel like they're not good enough? Or their story is not important enough to put it out there?

• 37:14Speaker 02

  Well, I would attack that in two ways. For one, I would tell you that you're great enough and I would tell you that you don't have to be perfect. And there's nobody. There's nobody who can tell your story like you. And when you realize that's your unique gift is yourself, there's nobody created like you. It takes the pressure off of you because I tell people all the time, it's your story. You can talk about your story all day long. What happens is we're so afraid to be judged. And the thing that I like to share and what helped me is realizing people are judging you regardless.

• 37:40Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  Doesn't matter. Like, I don't care how great you are, how bad you are. I mean, you can go in my comments right now, it's people that's probably saying something crazy. Not a lot, but it's few. And so it's like, why not give your greatness to the world and have them judge that? Because there's somebody's life that's depending on yours. And when I realized that, like, the lives that I've helped change. I never say change because I don't take that credit. But the lives that I helped change through my stories or my lives. I posted this on my Instagram because it wowed me. A lady said, "You went live a few months ago." And she said, "I was about to jump off a bridge, literally." Like, literally. And I got you live, and I don't know what I said that day, honestly. But she said, "It helped me." And so if I would've never went live, who knows what would've happened? So I tell people, "Just share your story."

• 38:23Speaker 02

  My most imperfect moments on stage have been my most powerful. The times that I thought were perfect, "Oh, I killed it." And I'm sure, you know, it reached people and it's like, "Yeah, you know, you get one of those, right?" I mean, I remember being at an event, I had like two mics on at this. I was just, I mean, I've done so many things, it's funny, that I thought, "Man, I wasn't whatever." But people have related to those moments the most, even in videos. Like, even in lives, like, "Oh, that live wasn't, it just didn't feel good to me." But the messages come after was like, "I needed that."

• 38:52Lewis Howes?

  Wow.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  And so that takes the pressure off you to be perfect. Stop trying to be perfect because the people who are judging you are not perfect anyway.

• 38:59Lewis Howes?

  And it's hard to connect with perfection.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 39:01Lewis Howes?

  It's really hard to connect with the most polished speaker and say, "Oh, I can relate to that person."

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 39:07Lewis Howes?

  But if you show your vulnerabilities, or you just show your imperfections, let's say, and you're not 100% polished all the time. I'm not saying you shouldn't strive for greatness and strive to be, have a great brand and everything, look the way it should, but you're gonna make mistakes, you're not gonna be perfect.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  And that reminded me of something else. I was in the gym, it kind of reminded me of a, of a parallel to that. I was in the gym the other day, they had a guy in there that was just killing it, right? And I was like, "Oh, man, he's in shape." And it was inspirational, like, "I want to get there." There's also another guy in there, we're actually flipping tires. He was struggling, like, you know how it is, like, he's flipping tires, he's wanting to quit, but he keeps pushing. And that inspired me more than the guy that was just killing it. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm like, "Man, he's going through struggle, but he's still progressing." And so I kind of relate that to life. The person that's climbing the mountain with you is kind of more inspired than the person just standing on top of it saying, "Hey, this is how you get up here," you know?

• 39:55Lewis Howes?

  Yeah.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  You've seen somebody go through struggle, so.

• 39:57Lewis Howes?

  And the guy who was, looked like he was killing it, maybe he wasn't pushing himself hard enough.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Right, we might need to check his heart rate monitor.

• 40:03Lewis Howes?

  Exactly. He needed a tire twice as big so he could struggle.

• 40:08Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 40:08Lewis Howes?

  I don't think if we're constantly pushing ourselves, you know, that's why the power of working out, I think, for those that train with some type of physical activity and push themselves to failure or to struggle, is one of the most powerful things we can do on a consistent basis, I believe, because it, you know, as athletes, we already know this, but I think that those that didn't go through that, when you put yourself through some type of strategic pain and struggle, you gain so much more confidence throughout your day.

• 40:36Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 40:36Lewis Howes?

  And belief in yourself when you get it the next time and you see improvement and growth and you know that you, you know, were responsible for that growth and you put yourself through it, I think it's really challenging to be able to take on life's challenges if we're not constantly putting ourselves through them.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 40:52Lewis Howes?

  In a strategic way, I'm not saying we should hurt ourselves and like injure ourselves, but we should be pushing boundaries and almost training ourselves to fail to the edge where then we can finally succeed. And if we're just looking like we're killing it, but we're not struggling, it's almost like when we should push ourselves at some point.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 41:12Lewis Howes?

  Yeah, you know what I mean?

• 41:12Speaker 02

  I definitely agree.

• 41:14Lewis Howes?

  I don't know, man. It's that athlete mentality, I think. It's like constantly, "How can I get better? How can I break through my personal best?"

• 41:21Speaker 02

  I like to call it like attacking your impossibilities. Like I said, I'm going to run a marathon and my camp, well, my photographer, he's not here, he actually just went down the street, but he actually ran the marathon, New York City Marathon, like two years ago. He challenged me and I get that a lot. He's like, "Come run a marathon." I was just like, "All right."

• 41:38Speaker 02

  So you had to sign up and it's like a lottery, so I was like, "Please don't pick me," you know? So I could tell him I wanted to do it, but they picked me. And so I'm like, "Cool, let's do it." But I like to do things that, that I haven't done before, like you said, it builds that confidence. And so now you come to things where it's kind of like the limited mindset versus the progressive mindset, or moving from, "Can I do this?" to, "What can I do?" And so I used to be at that place where, whether it be speaking, it's like, "Can I really do this?" But after I've done it so many times and went through fear. So many times and overcame those fears and those struggles and conquered those struggles so many times. Now it's to a point where, not in an arrogant way, but you know, what can I do? What can't I do in life? I can do this, let me go attack this, let me go try this. And so my mom even thinks I'm crazy sometimes, she's like, you're climbing this and you're doing what again?

• 42:21Speaker 02

  You know, cause she's like, you're always doing that, but it builds that confidence in me. And it's just like, I think that is contagious throughout your whole entire life.

• 42:29Lewis Howes?

  I don't know if you've seen that meme video of, I don't know what his name is anymore, Puff Daddy, P Diddy? Where he's like in his office and he hangs up the phone and he's like, I can do anything. He's like, give me something, there's nothing I can't do. And I think it's just like, when we constantly put ourselves through these challenges, again, it creates this like belief that like, man, there's nothing I can't do.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 42:52Lewis Howes?

  And when you have that mindset that there's nothing I cannot do, then you go through life with more of a confidence, a kind of reckless abandon towards just like your dreams.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 43:03Lewis Howes?

  And you're not as timid and fearful. And I think that's what it's about is if we can instill that in more people, then it's just gonna serve all of us. It's gonna support everything we're doing, so. I love this man, I love always connecting with another athlete. I wanna ask the final couple of questions. This one is called the three truths.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:21Lewis Howes?

  So imagine it's your last day, many years from now, and you achieve everything you want to. You have a beautiful life, everything you wanna create, you impact the people you wanna impact, and it's the last day and you get to decide when it's your last day. But for whatever reason, you gotta take everything with you that you created. So no one has access to your videos, your books, or anything you've ever made. You have to take it with you. But you get a piece of paper and a pen to write down the three things you know to be true about all of your experiences, all the lessons you've learned. And that's the only thing you could share with the world, essentially your final message. What would you say are your three truths?

• 43:58Speaker 02

  One, I would say that. Just because you have some bad chapters doesn't mean your story can end well. That would be one truth for sure. A second truth would be it all starts with you. Just responsibility in your life. And I think the third truth would be um. If you appreciate everything that you have, you realize you have everything that you need.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  And I think those would be my three that I would stick with.

• 44:24Lewis Howes?

  Appreciation.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:25Lewis Howes?

  That's key, man. Gratitude, appreciation, perspective. That's powerful. Where can we connect with you online? And where do you hang out with the most? Where do you spend the most time?

• 44:34Speaker 02

  I'm kind of all over the board, man. But Instagram, you can find me at Trent Shelton. Still on Snapchat, Rehab Time on there.

• 44:41Lewis Howes?

  I got off that about a year and a half ago, man.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  And then Facebook is just like Trent Shelton on there. And then I'm trying to, you know, I need to be more consistent in my YouTube, getting back on there. But those are the main spots where you can find me at.

• 44:53Lewis Howes?

  Yeah. Well, you got 10 million followers all over or where are you?

• 44:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, about that, I believe.

• 44:57Lewis Howes?

  Close to there? Eight to 10 million?

• 44:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:59Lewis Howes?

  No big deal? Well, before, and you got a book coming out, so be in tune to the book when it's coming out. You got a clothing line. What's the clothing line called?

• 45:07Speaker 02

  It's just rehab merch.

• 45:08Lewis Howes?

  Rehab merch. But it's really inspirational stuff.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, everything, yeah. Everything on the shirts is just. When you wear it, I want you to be inspired. And also, when you wear it, I want other people to see and be inspired. And so every message we put out is try to, you know, inspire somebody as well as yourself.

• 45:22Lewis Howes?

  That's cool. I like that. Before I ask the final question, I want to acknowledge you for a moment, Trent, for

• 45:29Lewis Howes?

  allowing yourself to go through the pain of losing your dream and rehabbing yourself. And in the process of figuring out Plan B, impacting so many people that you have. Because, you know, there's a lot of athletes that never come back after they're done playing. And you probably know a lot of them that never have done anything and that are constantly living on the glory days.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:51Lewis Howes?

  And you've taken your talents, your abilities, even when you were fearful, you've learned how to move through the fear and impact people. And I think that's the greatest gift you have and you've given to the world. So I want to acknowledge you for that.

• 46:03Speaker 02

  Thank you, man. I appreciate it.

• 46:04Lewis Howes?

  Of course.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 46:05Lewis Howes?

  Final question for you is what's your definition of greatness?

• 46:08Speaker 02

  You got some good questions, man. My definition of greatness is using your life to impact lives. That would be my definition.

• 46:17Lewis Howes?

  Trent, thanks, brother.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Yes, sir. Appreciate you.

• 46:19Lewis Howes?

  Appreciate it.

• 46:26Lewis Howes?

  There you have it my friends, Trent Shelton in the house, sharing his wisdom. I hope you enjoyed this. If you did, LewisHowes.com/643. Share it with your friends. Share it with someone who might be inspired by this and let me know what you think over on Twitter or Instagram @LewisHowes and tag Trent Shelton as well. Again, some powerful insights from today, so I'd love to hear how it supported you the most. And the full show notes, the full video interview is back at LewisHowes.com/643. So if you haven't subscribed over on YouTube yet, go subscribe there. Subscribe on iTunes if this is your first time here. Leave us a review for a chance to be shouted out as

• 47:10Lewis Howes?

  the review of the week and so many more amazing episodes are coming very soon. Again, we release episodes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday here in the United States. So stay tuned for some greatness coming at you very soon. Every day you have an opportunity to do something meaningful with your life, to take one step closer to overcoming your struggle and turning it into your strength. You have an opportunity to make someone else's life better by smiling, by giving them a hug, by listening to them. Every single day, there is a task at hand. How are you going to use your time and energy to make the most of that task? Again, Vince Lombardi said, "The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job

• 47:55Lewis Howes?

  at hand and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand." You have a moment right now to make the most of yourself. What are you going to do? I love you so very much and you know what time it is. It's time to go out there and do something great.