Nicolas Cage and the Mystery of the Missing Movie with Jay Jurden

Laci is joined by the hilarious Jay Jurden in this extra long episode exploring the heist of a Nicolas Cage film from a flash drive someone left on a desk. Throughout Cage's (née Coppola) storied career, he's starred in some of the greatest movies of all time (Adaptation), and he's led some of the worst (see streaming titles). But no one predicted an entire film could be stolen. Now, producers are suing, and we're left wondering if this film about the man who inspired the creation of James Bond will ever see the light of day. SOCIALS: Jay Jurden: @jayjurden https://www.instagram.com/jayjurden/?hl=en Laci Mosley: @divalaci https://www.instagram.com/divalaci/?hl=en WE'RE ON YOUTUBE: Join us on YouTube! See Laci, the guests, and fraudsters: https://www.youtube.com/@ScamGoddess https://www.instagram.com/divalaci/?hl=en SOURCES: https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/movies/articles/stole-nic-cage-movie-101902325.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAIwADEcUY9qM8gaeyUSJ-KgjbBgeOCeWkNtnjXdbFXDDf101h9-IAWhf2bYsRC1gjfEdZDknxU0fPTZhMr6AdAq1obsfW3v9NuXo_hUQINbod5SQG-94ZXB7ta-KX27UB1NnbyHDqHB3NIc26CFQvUr-wVflw9QMt83SNY4Yx10Z https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/movies/articles/stole-nic-cage-movie-101902325.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAIwADEcUY9qM8gaeyUSJ-KgjbBgeOCeWkNtnjXdbFXDDf101h9-IAWhf2bYsRC1gjfEdZDknxU0fPTZhMr6AdAq1obsfW3v9NuXo_hUQINbod5SQG-94ZXB7ta-KX27UB1NnbyHDqHB3NIc26CFQvUr-wVflw9QMt83SNY4Yx10Z https://pagesix.com/2026/08/06/hollywood/stolen-nicolas-cage-film-from-netflix-hq-rattles-filmmakers/ https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2026-07-30/producer-sues-netflix-over-lost-unreleased-nicolas-cage-movie https://arstechnica.com/civis/threads/man-invested-45m-in-a-nicolas-cage-movie-it-got-stolen-off-netflix%E2%80%99s-desk.1514186/ https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jul/30/netflix-sued-nicolas-cage-war-thriller See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

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• 2:53Laci Mosley?

  What's poppin', congregation? It's your girl, Lacey Mosley, aka Scam Goddess, back with another installment of the comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them. One thing's for sure, we will likely laugh at them, but never at the victims. And I am what? If you've been listening to this podcast, or now watching this podcast, you should already know I'm very what? Come on, parasocial girlies. Yes, excited, elated, thrilled for today's guest. He is an icon and a homie of mine. Jay Jurden is an American comedian, writer, actor. His special, Yes, Ma'am, is streaming on Hulu right now. And you've seen him on HBO, The Tonight Show, Variety, Vulture, and so much more. I love having a real stand-up comedian. If you're not following Jay Jurden on threads

• 3:38Laci Mosley?

  or on any of his socials, you are really missing out because his takes are spicy. Like, they hot as hell. He doesn't even say "hot take" anymore. We just know anytime he's got his fingers on the keyboard, it's gonna be lit.

• 3:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, my hottest take right now, tell some jokes. I don't know, tell some jokes. Give people what they paid for. Stop making these folks who already paid for tickets, pay for drinks, pay for valet, pay for Uber, pay for a babysitter. Stop making them work.

• 4:04Laci Mosley?

  This feels like a scam, because I was about to ask you, like, what's your relationship with scams? Do you love them, do you hate them? Have you been a part of any? Could be anything.

• 4:09Speaker 07

  There is a small contingent of very scammy comedians right now in America. They're scams. They go, "Ooh, I tricked these people again. I got away with it. I made them work and tell me my..." They gave me my material tonight, and I got off scot-free.

• 4:29Laci Mosley?

  So are you talking about, like, crowd-work comics?

• 4:30Speaker 07

  Not just crowd-work comics, because I think there are moments where you can be in the moment with the crowd and really get something new and fun. But if, like, every time I see you, you doing a census, every time I see you, you putting out a questionnaire, every time I see you, you basically ask... Now you're a biographer for these people, because you asking them their childhood, you asking them their job, their dreams, their aspirations. I think there's a level of comic who really is like, "Ooh, I scammed them. I got away with it again." I'm the opposite. I want those people to be like, "Oh, my God, Jay worked his ass off for us." So that's, I mean, and that's really how I feel. And I know some people, they go, "Oh, Jay, are you hating? Are you, like, are you being too snooty?" And I don't think it's crazy to tell people to do their fucking job.

• 5:15Laci Mosley?

  No, I don't think it's crazy either. Especially if you're privileged enough to do a job that you're passionate about.

• 5:20Speaker 07

  What if you came here and had someone talk for you on your podcast?

• 5:24Laci Mosley?

  I've tried a couple times. Some days, I was tired. They might seal a scripted front of them. I'm like, "You read that paragraph. You read paragraph for it. It doesn't work."

• 5:34Speaker 07

  Read this ad for me.

• 5:34Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, read that ad.

• 5:35Speaker 07

  You like me undies, go ahead.

• 5:37Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you love me undies, don't you? Me too. Go ahead, talk about it a little bit. Hold on, let me make sure the mic's on. No, I absolutely agree with you. And what it also does is it encourages bad behavior. And we've been seeing this in every kind of concert venue for so long. I think it's such a scam to come to a concert and be robbed out of the experience because your other patrons are either filming the entire thing, like, they about to put it on HBO. You don't... Listen, I'm off. Forget you a little clip. I got clips of me at the Beyoncé concert. That wasn't acting like I was on payroll filming the whole thing. Absolutely not.

• 6:11Speaker 07

  Three cameras set up, triangulated.

• 6:14Laci Mosley?

  Look, she was flying over with that horse, and I was like, in the... Like, Beyoncé sweated on me. I was in the standing. So when she was above me and the horse, I was in my slip, like, "Yes." And like, okay, yes, have your moment. I'm not against that. But they are now just holding their phones up, blocking people's views, the whole concert. And then, don't get me on the hooting and hollers.

• 6:32Speaker 07

  Listen, because you know what happens? They... You can tell who was the person who ruined the pizza party for the class in 5th grade. Because Beyoncé says, "Everybody on mute." There was literally people who knew to be quiet, and they said, "This is my moment. How dare you? How dare you?"

• 6:47Laci Mosley?

  Because this is about community. The new challenge was about community. And now, listen, I recently ran on some TikToks that... It was that artist that we canceled, because he said that we couldn't, Daniel Caesar. He was like, "If y'all want to cancel me..." Like, black people were like, "Okay."

• 7:01Speaker 07

  I got in trouble because I made fun of him. He was on The Breakfast Club, talking about polyamory. I was like, "You might not be the spokesperson." You know how cute you gotta be to get away with being like, you know? Like, non-monogamous.

• 7:13Laci Mosley?

  No, actually, the people who be polyamory don't look good. It's just like the same thing with sex parties. Everybody thinks a sex party gonna be like Christian Grey. Everybody gonna be in there with whips and chains and abs and high titties. No, it is like the strangest-looking accountant you've ever seen.

• 7:27Speaker 07

  Okay, you know what? I'm gonna add a caveat. That's for straight people. Because with the lesbian sex parties and the gay sex part... The queer sex parties...

• 7:33Laci Mosley?

  Okay, the queer sex parties are sexy. I'd be a little jealous. I'm like, "Everybody got abs in here? Like, are you fucking kidding me?"

• 7:39Speaker 07

  No, but I also think that, like, you... Okay, and we are talking about Beyoncé for the tiniest bit. If we bring up scams... Beyoncé is not a scam artist, but there's one song where she does scam you. You know what I'm talking about? When we get to the options up on Love on Top, Beyoncé does start to be like, "Y'all got it."

• 8:00Speaker 07

  Actually, that's y'all.

• 8:01Laci Mosley?

  But we do like it.

• 8:02Speaker 07

  We love it, but it is...

• 8:04Laci Mosley?

  I'll be trying to get up there.

• 8:04Speaker 07

  But it is her being like, "I'm not about to..."

• 8:08Laci Mosley?

  I'll be like, "See." I'll be like, "Ooh."

• 8:12Speaker 07

  Beyoncé takes a break during that song. For the past four years, Beyoncé be like, "I'm not about to..." "Y'all got it. Y'all sound good."

• 8:18Laci Mosley?

  And that's fine. And that's fine. But like, at the Daniel Caesar concert, it went viral on TikTok. He has very terrible fans, which makes sense because he's not a great guy. And they would be at the concert. And Daniel Caesar don't got no music you need to hoot or holler to. So he's singing the song, and there's girls...

• 8:36Speaker 07

  Very contemplative.

• 8:37Laci Mosley?

  Screaming to the point where everyone in the stadium heard it.

• 8:42Laci Mosley?

  And people are like, "Can you please stop? We're trying to hear the soft song."

• 8:46Speaker 07

  I saw Ariana Grande at the Barclays, and she was doing this really cool thing where she was dropping... It was before the album came out, so she was gonna do two songs that were unreleased from the upcoming album, Pedal. But what she had to do in real time, she was gonna loop the vocals in front of us. So she had, like, the station...

• 9:01Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, I saw her do that.

• 9:02Speaker 07

  And so, like, but you have to be so quiet because any noise will be caught on the specific recording. And so then she had to start over twice in New York. And I was like, "Honestly, if you want to, Ariana Grande, you could shoot those fans. I wouldn't get mad."

• 9:16Speaker 07

  Because that's, that's crazy.

• 9:17Laci Mosley?

  We at least need a black bagger.

• 9:18Speaker 07

  That's, that's.

• 9:18Laci Mosley?

  Just like.

• 9:19Speaker 07

  That's crazy.

• 9:20Laci Mosley?

  Disappear, out of the stadium.

• 9:21Speaker 07

  To have an artist who you paid money to see in concert, say, hey, everyone, thank you so much for being loud. We had so much fun. Let's, can you be quiet for two seconds?

• 9:30Laci Mosley?

  So I can make my art, for you.

• 9:32Speaker 07

  So I can, so I can actually sing a new song and loop it and record it live for y'all. And there were people in the stadium who were like, nah, girl, I'm more important.

• 9:40Laci Mosley?

  And that's what the crowd work comedians have created. And so now, when you go, like, at least when I'm getting up and stuff, I've noticed that people are much more vocal during the show. And I'm like, baby, you paid to see me, not us. What you mean, why are you talking?

• 9:53Speaker 07

  I shut them up usually by like, I, most of the time, I just start like, going fast enough that they go, I want to, I go, you ain't gonna have a chance to. You ain't gonna have a chance to chime in. Or at the end of the show, they'll go, oh, my gosh, that was so impressive. You, you talked the whole time. I go, baby, it was 15, it was 15 minutes.

• 10:11Laci Mosley?

  I'm supposed to talk for a whole time.

• 10:12Speaker 07

  You think I can't talk for 15 minutes? You think I can't, listen, I could talk to you for an hour.

• 10:16Laci Mosley?

  Oh, Jay, I know, you're a generational yapper, like me. We love to yap. That's why I had to make yapping a job. I was like, I can't shut up. So I guess I gotta have a podcast.

• 10:26Speaker 07

  We're the people.

• 10:26Laci Mosley?

  But I did this six years ago. I did it before it became problematic. And all y'all motherfuckers went to Best Buy and got some microphones. And now y'all think y'all can talk about everything, $200 dinners and who gets the big piece of chicken ass podcast.

• 10:35Speaker 07

  This is, this is actually meta, because Lacey, you, as a person who was an early adopter to the podcast medium, you've seen people start to scam. You've seen people go from being like, oh, I have an actual point of view, to being like, alright, okay, so we gonna ask the, the black delegation what we ask every month. What are we doing with bi men? Do we need a man in the home to raise little boys? Like, it's, it gets crazy.

• 11:02Laci Mosley?

  Crazy.

• 11:03Speaker 07

  To see these people rehab.

• 11:05Laci Mosley?

  And it's the same talking points. That's the scam to me of like.

• 11:07Speaker 07

  One thing about these topics, they gonna put it in the microwave.

• 11:10Laci Mosley?

  Entertainment. They gonna put it in the microwave.

• 11:11Speaker 07

  They heat it up again.

• 11:11Laci Mosley?

  And don't be a skinny blonde white woman. You can reheat everybody's nachos. And you are gonna make way more money doing it. If I was a white woman, scam goddess would be right next to Joe Rogan.

• 11:21Speaker 07

  This is, no, you should do, you should do a whole, I'm, I'm, okay.

• 11:25Laci Mosley?

  I, I'm, I'm, I'm too late, though. I came out as black too soon.

• 11:27Speaker 07

  That's what I was gonna say.

• 11:28Laci Mosley?

  I'm like, if I had AI, not AI, because fuck AI, fuck chat GPT, GTP, GPT, I don't use it.

• 11:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 11:34Laci Mosley?

  But, um, thank you, I'm glad my fans know I have enough integrity that they reached out to me and they heard one of those ads randomly on the show once. I was like, baby, we did not approve that and we'll make sure that it doesn't happen again.

• 11:43Speaker 07

  Sometimes I'll see the AI posters for some of my friends and I go, you had, man, you had a hundred dollars to pay somebody to put a post together. I would rather see horrible Photoshop. I wanna see Microsoft Paint.

• 11:53Laci Mosley?

  I love horrible Photoshop.

• 11:54Speaker 07

  I wanna see Microsoft Paint before I see AI.

• 11:57Laci Mosley?

  Oh, I love horrible Photoshop. It's, it's, it's, it's.

• 11:59Speaker 07

  It's funny.

• 12:00Laci Mosley?

  It's iconic. I remember this guy.

• 12:01Speaker 07

  It's like a collage. It's you cut it out.

• 12:02Laci Mosley?

  I'll tell you who the guy is after, because you'll know who it is. I can't say. Everyone probably know. So, but, uh, we were talking for a little bit, this is years ago. And he was kinda asking me to like, send him like, a nude photo. I don't send nudes.

• 12:14Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 12:15Laci Mosley?

  I don't have nudes.

• 12:15Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 12:16Laci Mosley?

  I can confidently hand my phone to anybody. You're not gonna be seeing me busting it wide, nowhere, and up and through there.

• 12:21Speaker 07

  See, this is.

• 12:22Laci Mosley?

  I don't play those games.

• 12:22Speaker 07

  I don't encourage this. I have a bunch of nudes on my phone.

• 12:25Laci Mosley?

  Jay is a hoochie ho. And he, and he would be happy if his nudes came out, because he damn near nude on the internet all the damn time.

• 12:30Speaker 07

  If a nude leaked today.

• 12:32Laci Mosley?

  He would be proud. He would repost it.

• 12:34Speaker 07

  I wouldn't be proud. I go, I can give y'all a good one. I don't, actually, I don't know, let me send you one.

• 12:39Laci Mosley?

  He got, I got a new app. He was like, listen, he was like, I had an Apex then, now I'm squeezed on 11. I got a lip and I got more up top, yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 07

  I got one more vein in it. Look at this.

• 12:49Laci Mosley?

  You know what? And I can't risk that. So eventually, I sent him, I drew a stick figure on, on the print app.

• 12:59Speaker 07

  That's funny.

• 13:00Laci Mosley?

  And then I, I took a photo and I like, cropped it to where it's just my face. And I put my face on the stick figure with the boobs and the booty. And I sent that. I was like, here's your nude.

• 13:07Speaker 07

  That's beautiful.

• 13:08Laci Mosley?

  Like, we love Photoshop. We love authenticity.

• 13:11Speaker 07

  Back, listen, back in middle school, that would've done it for me. That would've done it in, in middle school, in middle school.

• 13:16Laci Mosley?

  You would imagine my stick figure boobs had been like, woo.

• 13:19Speaker 07

  I know more than one guy who in middle school drew his own porn. He said, you know what, I can't get access to it. He said, but the human imagination has no boundaries.

• 13:29Laci Mosley?

  We are losing recipes.

• 13:31Speaker 07

  Right?

• 13:31Laci Mosley?

  Where, where are the porn artists who are drawing it by hand and passing it out?

• 13:36Speaker 07

  I said, back in my day, we used to draw it. We draw it. Look at me, look at me. Go get a pencil, go get a pencil sharpener. You don't know what a pencil sharpener is? Go get a pencil sharpener.

• 13:45Laci Mosley?

  You ain't never turned, that's, that's a kid break. That's the water cooler for kids.

• 13:48Speaker 07

  Type in everything. Now, go get a, number two, because you gotta put it on scan, try, go get a number.

• 13:53Laci Mosley?

  I don't even know why they made any other numbers, because number two is the only one we used. I guess the other ones were for artists.

• 13:58Speaker 07

  You know, if you autistic, go get a thick one, go get a fat pencil.

• 14:02Laci Mosley?

  Get you a number seven.

• 14:02Speaker 07

  Get you a number seven. Listen, if you need the texture.

• 14:04Laci Mosley?

  Look, I'm on the spectrum, I can say that. I probably would've needed the seven.

• 14:06Speaker 07

  If you need the texture, go get you a, a thick pencil and draw you some titties, okay? I don't know what these men, they hate women now, because they ain't never drawn some titties and go, oh my, this is beautiful.

• 14:17Laci Mosley?

  They need yarning.

• 14:18Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 14:19Laci Mosley?

  Uh, we gotta bring yarning back.

• 14:20Speaker 07

  Yes. And you know how we do it? Like we said earlier, put these kids in the mines.

• 14:24Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 07

  They gonna yearn for some love if they, if they, you know.

• 14:28Laci Mosley?

  And they have so much energy.

• 14:28Speaker 07

  Moving around coal, yes.

• 14:30Laci Mosley?

  Okay. You know, it's like, we start the day, we throwing that Miss Rachel around, uh, 3:00 AM, so you can get up, brush your teeth, get ready for the mines.

• 14:37Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah. A little bit of blui, maybe?

• 14:39Laci Mosley?

  A little bit of blui.

• 14:40Speaker 07

  Yeah?

• 14:40Laci Mosley?

  And a little bit of, uh, what's the black girl who be doing all them songs?

• 14:43Speaker 07

  Oh, uh, Gracie's Corner.

• 14:44Laci Mosley?

  Gracie's Corner. Look, Gracie's Corner, that's what you do at the end, to get you hyped up. Now you lit.

• 14:47Speaker 07

  Gracie's Corner, I, I knew Gracie's Corner was real when Paul Wall did a Gracie's Corner song.

• 14:53Laci Mosley?

  They play A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I'm headed to the mines, don't fuck with me, ay, okay? Like, get them behind me. And then let them go to the mines. They gonna sleep good when they get home.

• 15:06Speaker 07

  They playing Gracie's Corner before they go to the kid trap.

• 15:12Laci Mosley?

  What you need? I got that lac, I got that Similac.

• 15:14Speaker 07

  Got that Similac. Hey, I got some Naladis.

• 15:15Laci Mosley?

  With the Similac as spicin' as fuck, so.

• 15:18Speaker 07

  That's funny.

• 15:19Laci Mosley?

  That would work. Now, Jay, so if I was to make a summation here, you think that it's scammy that comedians are going up in front of people, taking their money, taking their two-drink minimum.

• 15:32Speaker 07

  I think.

• 15:32Laci Mosley?

  And, and their babysitter cash, and then doing a completely made up show with no direction that's heavily reliant on the audience's input.

• 15:42Speaker 07

  Yes, but I'll even add a more specific caveat. I think if you do a piece of crowd work that you clip and edit, and then you put on your page, and you monetize, and the person in the crowd has funnier stuff to say, then you, you need to pay them a portion of what TikTok, Meta, and Facebook pay you.

• 16:04Speaker 07

  Because you got paid. They paid to see you work them to get paid twice over. Once for the in-person show, and once online, when you post the clip. Because now, you at home, you going, wait a second, I said all the funny stuff. He posted on his page. All you can just be like, that's me. Yeah, that's, that's, as you can tell.

• 16:21Laci Mosley?

  We call that being paid in exposure.

• 16:23Speaker 07

  Exposure, no.

• 16:24Laci Mosley?

  The oldest acting scam.

• 16:25Speaker 07

  I be watching some of these interactions, some of these couples, I be like, well, they getting divorced after this? This is terrible. You just paid for me to watch your marriage fall apart, in real time, on Facebook. And now all the Facebook aunties and grandmas commenting.

• 16:38Laci Mosley?

  Oh, and the aunties don't stop at Facebook. They send us links in our texts.

• 16:42Speaker 07

  And you know what else?

• 16:43Laci Mosley?

  They alert the whole family.

• 16:44Speaker 07

  Have you been made to, the aunties have also made it to threads. The aunt, the Facebook application.

• 16:49Laci Mosley?

  They're accidentally making it to threads, because they don't know the meta of it all. So sometimes they post something, like, have you seen, what, who are we looking for? It was her name, Sally or something? There was that one lady who didn't realize she was posting threads, and she was like, Linda? I think there's, there's a lady that we're always supposed to be looking for in Europe. They're like, she's in Europe. And we don't know where she is, so if you see her, let us know. And everybody was like, we'll see Linda. And then anybody who posts about Europe or anywhere in Europe, they're like, did you see Linda?

• 17:12Speaker 07

  No, because Linda is the name. That is the auntie name that gets lost now.

• 17:19Laci Mosley?

  Yes, the aunties.

• 17:20Speaker 07

  Do you know any young Lindas? I don't know no young Lindas. Do we know any young Lindas? Any young, not, not a Linda under 50, right?

• 17:28Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 07

  That was a Linda cutoff.

• 17:30Laci Mosley?

  It was.

• 17:32Speaker 07

  Now, you know what's crazy?

• 17:33Laci Mosley?

  And Jay just broke the fourth wall and introduced this as a talk show, because there are four other people in this room. And he was like, y'all know any Lindas? Say, say, yeah. Say, yeah. We can, we can break that fourth wall. There are lots of people in this room besides me and Jay.

• 17:45Speaker 07

  I got a cousin named Linda, and she, you know, you know those cousins that have always been aunties in your head?

• 17:50Laci Mosley?

  Because they're older than you.

• 17:51Speaker 07

  It's my great grandma's niece. It's some connection there.

• 17:56Laci Mosley?

  I know what you mean. It's blood, but it's like, they're older enough that you're like, we can't, I can't call you cousin. You gotta be aunt.

• 18:01Speaker 07

  Because that's disrespectful.

• 18:02Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you gotta be auntie.

• 18:04Speaker 07

  Because if you a cousin, you gotta be outside with us.

• 18:07Laci Mosley?

  Smoking weed.

• 18:08Speaker 07

  Yeah, not smoking weed, running around playing outside.

• 18:10Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, but also smoking weed. You ain't did no cousin walk on Thanksgiving?

• 18:15Speaker 07

  Well, yeah, that's different, though. What's, that's, that's like teenage cousin.

• 18:18Laci Mosley?

  That's what I'm saying. So I'm like, if you're not in cousin walk, smoking weed territory, then you're auntie.

• 18:23Speaker 07

  You're auntie. You got automatically.

• 18:23Laci Mosley?

  Even if we are cousins, you gotta be automatic auntie.

• 18:26Speaker 07

  Older cousins, that's such a fast, because now I'm someone's older cousin.

• 18:30Laci Mosley?

  I am too.

• 18:30Speaker 07

  But I can't be. I'm just, I'm like, I'm just an older queer relative. Like, I didn't have.

• 18:36Laci Mosley?

  That's so cool.

• 18:37Speaker 07

  I, I'm a, I'm a gay uncle now.

• 18:39Laci Mosley?

  And gay uncles are the coolest. I, I lost one of my gay uncles, um.

• 18:44Speaker 07

  Oh, I'm sorry.

• 18:45Laci Mosley?

  No, it's okay. Uh, my Uncle Henry, um, during the time we were losing a lot of gay people. So he didn't become an elder, but he was so fucking cool. And, and beautiful. And he had the greatest skin. Like, his skin was so good. And like, dressed well, and he was so like, cool. So it's like, I'm glad that we have you here to be the cool, sexy gay uncle, who has way too many ho hoochie photos online.

• 19:09Speaker 07

  My niece.

• 19:10Laci Mosley?

  You're gonna see your gay uncle on a speed up.

• 19:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, my niece Riley, she came to my wedding in New York, but it was like, she, she went to a gay wedding when she was like, young. So then she went back to school, she was like, oh, y'all ain't never been to no gay wedding? Trash.

• 19:22Laci Mosley?

  I have culture.

• 19:23Speaker 07

  Yeah, she went to a gay wedding in New York.

• 19:25Laci Mosley?

  I went to gay weddings before I went to straight weddings.

• 19:27Speaker 07

  See?

• 19:28Laci Mosley?

  My gays started getting married first. Oh, my gosh.

• 19:31Speaker 07

  Lesbians are gays.

• 19:31Laci Mosley?

  My friend, Kimia Bepornia, she's an actress too, super funny. You can see her on Abbott. She married Haley, who is, um, a very amazing writer, who also has been writing up a like, superstore. I can name a bunch of things that Haley writes on. And so they got married. And when I tell you the cutest lesbian wedding.

• 19:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:50Laci Mosley?

  Kimia's like Persian, so her family like, brought dancers. And then her dad walked to every table, Jay, and he put, slammed down a stack of hundred dollar bills on every table, so we could like, tip and throw it up. And Haley's Cuban, so the Cubans was coming out with they, like, it was lit as fuck.

• 20:04Speaker 07

  This is, I'm gonna say one.

• 20:06Laci Mosley?

  Another gay wedding in Mexico, two men, I, I performed at it.

• 20:09Speaker 07

  I love that.

• 20:10Laci Mosley?

  I be at all the gay weddings.

• 20:11Speaker 07

  I'm gonna say a stereotype that I think we can agree with, that no one's gonna get mad about. Persians and Iranians, they probably love Versace and cash more than black people.

• 20:22Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, nah, they have a, they have a, a, a, a black aesthetic.

• 20:25Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every now and then.

• 20:26Laci Mosley?

  Like a rapper aesthetic. Because black is too broad. They have a rapper aesthetic.

• 20:29Speaker 07

  Every, exactly. A lot of Persian men in LA dressed like the Migos in 2012. You see, do you see it? You understand what I'm talking about?

• 20:37Laci Mosley?

  They be wearing Savage, or they be wearing a YSL, a L'Oréal YSL cologne.

• 20:41Speaker 07

  Listen, they don't play about cologne.

• 20:45Laci Mosley?

  And I don't worry about perfume. You can smell me before I walk in the room. So I understand.

• 20:50Speaker 07

  I got on the elevator, I said, Lacey?

• 20:53Laci Mosley?

  Not in linger, not in linger, damn!

• 20:56Speaker 07

  I felt like Wolverine, I said, Lacey? My claws popped out.

• 21:02Laci Mosley?

  Now my claws, now the knuckles, now the knuckles. Well, on that knuckle, but we're gonna move on to my favorite part of the show. Historic hoodwink.

• 21:10Speaker 07

  Ooh.

• 21:11Laci Mosley?

  This is where I will regale Jay with a famous con caper group of criminals. We don't know yet, maybe we love them, maybe we hate them. We'll find out along the way. So today, we're talking about thieves.

• 21:25Laci Mosley?

  Who stole a hard drive containing an unencrypted copy of the finished but unreleased Nicolas Cage movie, Fortitude. Off of the desk at the Netflix office. It's not the first time Netflix has gotten in trouble for leaving money on the table. Mmm, so Fortitude. This is Nicolas Cage.

• 21:45Speaker 07

  Nicolas Cage. That's wow.

• 21:48Laci Mosley?

  I don't know who dressed him.

• 21:51Speaker 07

  You know, I'm gonna say great look for a lesbian wedding. If Nicolas Cage went to a lesbian wedding, he wouldn't be the only person wearing that.

• 22:00Laci Mosley?

  Oh, and he would definitely be going home with somebody, okay? Where they play this, like, who getting fucked tonight? He like, he looking like this. That's all, come on, who getting fucked tonight? Who getting fucked tonight? And it's him. He's looking at you with that same stare. Like you coming home with me, girl.

• 22:16Speaker 07

  Listen, we love you, Nicolas Cage. That is a, that, listen.

• 22:19Laci Mosley?

  It's even Nicolas Cage.

• 22:20Speaker 07

  Right? That's, wow, that's a sapphic outfit. The bedazzled jacket.

• 22:24Laci Mosley?

  It is a sapphic outfit. The bedazz, just a little razzle dazzle.

• 22:27Speaker 07

  Whoa.

• 22:27Laci Mosley?

  With a little silk underneath, cuz I'm soft and silky.

• 22:31Speaker 07

  Pink glasses inside? Ah, I love, listen, Nick Cage, we speak your name. We speak your name in rooms that you aren't even in, Nick Cage. We appreciate you.

• 22:44Laci Mosley?

  Glad award. Glad award. Immediately. Scouts!

• 22:54Speaker 01

  911, what's your emergency? Please help us, they're everywhere. We think they're murder warrants. 911 Nashville returns.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  What's a homicide detective doing here?

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Three bodies on the ground. With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  All since swarms upon you and upon your people. That's one of the plagues of the Bible. And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  Brian Phillippe, 911 Nashville. All new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Hola a todos, soy Jamie Lynn Sigler. Cuando me diagnosticaron, tenía veintitantos años. Y todo mi mundo cambió por completo. Pero con el tiempo decidí que no iba a permitir que eso frenara mi vida. Quise tomar las riendas. Y después de hablar con mi médico sobre mis opciones, la elección para mí fue obvia. Boom, eso es KISSIMTA. Obtenga más información sobre KISSIMTA o FOTUMA MAP en kissimta.com.

• 23:53Laci Mosley?

  Cash flow crunch? OnDeck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds up to $200,000 right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at ondeck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  Whether you're buying, renting, or selling, Zillow can help make your someday today. To help find a home that fits where you are in life. Or that apartment that's a little closer to where you wanna be. Zillow has the right information, tools, and support to help turn your future home into a reality. Because someday starts today. Visit zillow.com/today to get started.

• 24:53Laci Mosley?

  She'd throw things, wander, and started hoarding. Mom's Alzheimer's was already so hard. But then we found out she had agitation that may happen with dementia due to Alzheimer's disease. And that was a different kind of difficult. So we asked her doctor for more help.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  Seeing symptoms like these in a loved one? It could be time to ask their doctor about Rexulti, Rexiprazole 2mg. The first FDA-approved treatment for this condition. Rexulti is proven to reduce agitation symptoms. Rexulti should not be used as an as-needed treatment. Elderly people with dementia-related psychosis have increased risk of death or stroke. Report fever, stiff muscles, and confusion, which can be life-threatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. High blood sugar can lead to coma or death. Weight gain, increased cholesterol, unusual urges, dizziness on standing, falls, seizures, trouble swallowing, or sleepiness may occur. Learn more about these and other side effects at rexulti.com. Tap ad for PI.

• 25:43Laci Mosley?

  I'm glad I asked for help.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Ask your loved one's doctor about Rexulti.

• 25:51Laci Mosley?

  Cautch! So the movie. Fortitude stars Nicolas Cage as Dusko Popoff.

• 25:59Speaker 07

  Say the name again. Dusko Popoff.

• 26:03Laci Mosley?

  Dusko Popoff. Look, he gonna dust you, he gonna pop off. Okay, so this is Dusko. I kinda see why they cast him.

• 26:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, okay.

• 26:12Laci Mosley?

  Dusko was some fine shit.

• 26:13Speaker 07

  Dusko, Dusko has what a lot of black people refer to as a sexy white boy nose.

• 26:19Laci Mosley?

  He does.

• 26:20Speaker 07

  So a lot of, we don't talk about it enough, but if you ever, if you ever swirl a little bit, a lot of black people who every now and then hit.

• 26:28Laci Mosley?

  Swirl a little bit?

• 26:29Speaker 07

  If you ever swirl a little bit, a lot of black people, they say, oh, if I am gonna be with a white boy, he has to have an interesting nose. They go, we need a schnoz. You need something to break up a boring ass, little tiny, cutesy, you want, that's a good nose. You know what we call that in New York? That's an old country nose. That nose came to Ellis Island, and they say, wait a second, we changing this last name?

• 26:54Laci Mosley?

  Right?

• 26:55Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dusko.

• 26:57Laci Mosley?

  Who?

• 26:57Speaker 07

  I'm assuming Dusko is Eastern European, Russian.

• 27:01Laci Mosley?

  Well, he's a real-life World War II businessman lawyer, and he's a spy from Serbia.

• 27:06Speaker 07

  Serbia, okay, Serbia, yes, Serbia. Listen, Serbia, how I tell you this? In my opinion, Serbians up there when it comes to being the blackest of the whites.

• 27:15Laci Mosley?

  Okay, I'm gonna put the Irish above them.

• 27:17Speaker 07

  Irish above them, Serbia.

• 27:18Laci Mosley?

  Because of the colonization, like, the Irish people are the real Negroes.

• 27:22Speaker 07

  Serbia comes around four. You wanna why? Cuz it's Serbia and Montenegro. You see? That's, yeah, Montenegro. Yeah, understand?

• 27:30Laci Mosley?

  Serda.

• 27:31Speaker 07

  Negro.

• 27:31Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 27:34Speaker 07

  Serbia, Monte Negro.

• 27:35Laci Mosley?

  And look at them lips, it's some Montenegro up in here.

• 27:37Speaker 07

  I know a nigga named Monte. Monte Negro.

• 27:41Laci Mosley?

  Monte Negro.

• 27:42Speaker 07

  His name, Monte Black.

• 27:43Laci Mosley?

  Monte Black, period. So he pretended to work for the German intelligence service. The Germans thought he was a good asset because he had been born wealthy and had business connections in France and the UK. But actually, he hated the Nazis, and he was working as a double agent for MI6.

• 28:01Speaker 07

  Oh, double agent, working, tricking the Nazis? That's like when I went to the mothership. I said, I'm kidding.

• 28:08Speaker 07

  No, but seriously, that's good. We hate Nazis.

• 28:11Laci Mosley?

  We trick the Nazis every day.

• 28:12Speaker 07

  We have to say this as comics now. It's crazy, we have to say this, I hate Nazis. You hate Nazis?

• 28:19Speaker 07

  Yeah, Lacey hates Nazis, I hate Nazis. Right now, comedy's weird cuz you have to say it, or else people be like, you, I love Nazi, I hate them.

• 28:26Laci Mosley?

  No, yeah.

• 28:27Speaker 07

  Just a preference thing, I hate them.

• 28:29Laci Mosley?

  I hate Nazis, and I really hate when Nazis stream the show.

• 28:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, I hate it.

• 28:33Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, oh, it makes me so mad. Leave so many comments, Nazis. Really tear me up. It's not for engagement, don't worry, you're not working for me. Just like, give me your opinions.

• 28:44Speaker 07

  Oh, no, she doing the algorithm. She tricking, she tricking us.

• 28:48Laci Mosley?

  Hey, trigger if you got it.

• 28:51Laci Mosley?

  So he worked on Operation Fortitude. In which spies tricked German leadership into thinking the Allied invasion of Europe would happen at Galli-Sas. Instead of Normandy, where it actually happened. So he was like, giving them false information. He was like, yo, I got the drop, they told me to tea, they said it's gonna happen over here. So don't even staff nobody up at Normandy, that's crazy, we should actually take everybody and go over here.

• 29:17Speaker 07

  Oh, a little switcheroo on D-Day.

• 29:19Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 29:19Speaker 07

  A little switcheroo.

• 29:20Laci Mosley?

  You know America ain't never won no war without tricking.

• 29:23Speaker 07

  Switch the D out.

• 29:24Laci Mosley?

  Okay, we've lost hella wars, hella wars. And we was trying to rebrand it.

• 29:28Speaker 07

  Lacey, we losing, we losing one now. We losing one bad.

• 29:32Laci Mosley?

  We stay losing one.

• 29:33Speaker 07

  We losing one bad.

• 29:33Laci Mosley?

  I'm so sorry, but when the leaders of Iran were like, we're waiting for them, which I've said on this podcast, I was like, no, you don't go to places where people are waiting for you. We are going to lose.

• 29:42Speaker 07

  Once, they said, pull up. That's crazy.

• 29:45Laci Mosley?

  They talking about sly. What?

• 29:48Speaker 07

  Turn your loca, they on TikTok Live saying, turn your location off.

• 29:50Laci Mosley?

  Like, period.

• 29:51Speaker 07

  Turn your location off.

• 29:52Laci Mosley?

  No, we in there, Trump, don't even worry about that. And it's always, support our troops, support our troops. Until now, we have the Abraham Lincoln, where these soldiers are literally starving on these boats.

• 30:04Speaker 07

  Since 2025.

• 30:04Laci Mosley?

  They've been on that boat for eight months, going on nine.

• 30:07Speaker 07

  2025.

• 30:07Laci Mosley?

  They ain't seeing their families, they haven't eaten a good meal, everybody funky in there. Because they can't get the toiletries they need.

• 30:15Speaker 07

  On the boat, funky.

• 30:16Laci Mosley?

  They jumping off the boat, like, I'm tired of smelling this funk, I'd rather die. And they like, get your ass back up, we gonna save your life. They're like, don't save my life, I'm trying to leave.

• 30:23Speaker 07

  They on the USS stinking. It's not the USS Lincoln no more. They funkified the boat.

• 30:29Laci Mosley?

  Now, the foxes of it all are trying to turn on them, being like, you a soldier, you know what you signed up for, this is fine. No, it's not fine. What happened to take care of the troops?

• 30:38Speaker 07

  The last, the last boat that was that funky, it was a Tom Joyner Cruise. It's too.

• 30:43Laci Mosley?

  That's not fair, aunties always got their white diamonds on.

• 30:45Speaker 07

  I was talking about the music.

• 30:46Laci Mosley?

  Oh, okay.

• 30:47Speaker 07

  It's that kinda funky.

• 30:48Laci Mosley?

  I was like, it's not funky people, it's just gonna smell like white diamonds and, and you know.

• 30:53Speaker 07

  Juergens, loud, cherry blossom.

• 30:55Laci Mosley?

  Cherry blossom. Negroes love cherry blossom Juergens.

• 31:00Speaker 07

  This is what it sounds, if you ever want to meet an auntie, this is what you go hear.

• 31:05Laci Mosley?

  And what you go smell is a peppermint at the bottom of her purse. Purse smell good.

• 31:08Speaker 07

  And she gonna be mad you ain't putting no lotion on that baby's face.

• 31:11Laci Mosley?

  I need to drop a little peppermint in my purse, it's time.

• 31:12Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 31:16Speaker 07

  I told, I told the other woman that was hitting on me once, I said, "Watch out, I eat Werther's. Watch out." I said, "Hey."

• 31:20Laci Mosley?

  I love me a whimsical caramel candy.

• 31:23Speaker 07

  I want me a strawberry candy, don't play with me.

• 31:25Laci Mosley?

  And I know I don't know where to buy them. I saw them once at a Dollar Tree.

• 31:29Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:30Laci Mosley?

  And I was like, "Is this where they getting them?"

• 31:31Speaker 07

  You blinked and then disappeared.

• 31:33Laci Mosley?

  They did.

• 31:33Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:34Laci Mosley?

  I don't know where to find them again.

• 31:34Speaker 07

  You were coming into your auntie. You slowly started seeing it.

• 31:38Laci Mosley?

  I did a sketch on the Black Lives Sketch Show where I was telling Gabrielle Dennis that she was becoming an auntie. It's like, "You're 35. You're an auntie."

• 31:44Speaker 07

  I'm clo- one of why, I got some linen in this tote. I'm wearing linen, my pants are linen. I got two linen soft items. Listen, I'm not about to play.

• 31:56Laci Mosley?

  And speaking of breathable, people were breathing in Desco.

• 32:02Speaker 07

  Desco, pop off, Desco. Pop off, Desco.

• 32:05Laci Mosley?

  He was a big playboy and wooed famous women during his missions.

• 32:10Speaker 07

  Listen.

• 32:10Laci Mosley?

  Including the French actress Simone Simon. So he got a baddie.

• 32:15Speaker 07

  Simone Simon.

• 32:16Laci Mosley?

  Simone Simon.

• 32:17Speaker 07

  Wait a second, that's just a drag name. Wait a second. Your name can't be Simone Simon. That's a great drag name.

• 32:24Laci Mosley?

  Listen, and she's eating.

• 32:25Speaker 07

  Simone Simon. That's, you're playing with gender. Oh my-

• 32:29Laci Mosley?

  Oh, girl's off the tongue. I know she was cunty.

• 32:31Speaker 07

  This is wild. I love this.

• 32:33Laci Mosley?

  His German handlers referred to him by the codename Ivan. He was codenamed Tricycle by the British M5 because he was the head of the group of three double agents. I thought Big Old Dick was giving Big Dick. Like, Tricycle, mm.

• 32:51Speaker 07

  I saw the nose, that's a correlation.

• 32:53Laci Mosley?

  Car real big, house real big, dick real big, everything real big, dick real big.

• 32:59Speaker 07

  Dick real big, dick real big.

• 33:01Laci Mosley?

  It's giving dick real big. Uh, but they tried to keep it classy.

• 33:05Speaker 07

  Tricycle.

• 33:06Laci Mosley?

  But we know.

• 33:06Speaker 07

  Cause everybody got a ride.

• 33:09Laci Mosley?

  So, uh, so Desco was the real life inspiration for the character of James Bond.

• 33:17Speaker 07

  Whoa.

• 33:18Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 33:19Speaker 07

  James Bond was Serbian. The inspiration for James Desco, this is beautiful. This is great. I love this.

• 33:28Laci Mosley?

  And that's my Serbian accent. I feel like that was good.

• 33:30Speaker 07

  That's pretty good.

• 33:30Laci Mosley?

  Chicken moster.

• 33:31Speaker 07

  I worked with three Serbian, I was a personal trainer, sex worker. I was a personal trainer when I first moved to New York City and I worked at a gym with three Serbians. One named Toza, one, I think, named, named Ivan Ivan, and then another one whose name, I, is escaping me, but his ass was pristine.

• 33:51Laci Mosley?

  But his ass is not escaping you.

• 33:53Speaker 07

  Big ol', he had a Serbian and a Montenegro. Yes, it was crazy. Amen, amen. You talk about those Central European hills, just, so I, I, looking at the Balkan states. So I remember talking to them and Serbians are so funny because they're so, cause they've been in so many civil wars. They talk about, they talk about guns and like, you know, basically public executions and murder so casually. They're like, "Oh, that's when they killed those people."

• 34:21Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, that's when they killed him. They brought him to square, they kill him. They do murder. You understand? Anyways. What do you like to eat? Chicken? You want the special?

• 34:30Speaker 07

  Lazy. I can't stop. I'm trying to be respectful.

• 34:33Laci Mosley?

  I'm seducing you. You like this?

• 34:34Speaker 07

  This ain't that kind of podcast.

• 34:35Laci Mosley?

  This is where I talk to you like this and then this is good.

• 34:37Speaker 07

  Oh my god.

• 34:38Laci Mosley?

  I talk to you like this rest of time.

• 34:40Speaker 07

  Russian, there we go.

• 34:42Laci Mosley?

  Rest of time, I talk to you like this.

• 34:43Speaker 07

  Can I say something also about black people and Russians? Black people and Russians are the only people who I know still name their baby Natasha.

• 34:50Laci Mosley?

  Natasha. We do love Natasha.

• 34:52Speaker 07

  Tasha?

• 34:53Laci Mosley?

  It's good.

• 34:53Speaker 07

  Black people-

• 34:54Laci Mosley?

  Tatiana as well. We love Tatiana. We will name Tatiana as well.

• 34:58Speaker 07

  A black person or a Russian, Eastern European, Natasha and Tatiana, that's, we, we took those names.

• 35:04Laci Mosley?

  Good girls. Always turn out good. Very strong. I can't get out of-

• 35:11Laci Mosley?

  Fuck! Where my Russians at?

• 35:13Speaker 07

  That's true.

• 35:15Laci Mosley?

  Like, where my Russians at? Cause I feel as though-

• 35:17Speaker 07

  If you, if, if-

• 35:18Laci Mosley?

  Stradivuci.

• 35:19Speaker 07

  If Putin is letting y'all listening to big money players over there.

• 35:23Laci Mosley?

  If Putin lets y'all listen to big money players.

• 35:25Speaker 07

  If y'all can watch this.

• 35:26Laci Mosley?

  I feel like Putin would love Will Ferrell.

• 35:28Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 35:29Laci Mosley?

  Like, I feel like he would love Will Ferrell. So funny.

• 35:31Speaker 07

  On a horse.

• 35:32Laci Mosley?

  So good, so funny.

• 35:33Speaker 07

  He would love, if, that's actually how we bring everything together.

• 35:36Laci Mosley?

  Yes. I think Will could bring it-

• 35:38Speaker 07

  He needs to go over there.

• 35:39Laci Mosley?

  You know how Dennis Rodman used to go see Kim Jong-un?

• 35:41Speaker 07

  Speak on it.

• 35:41Laci Mosley?

  So we send Will Ferrell to Putin.

• 35:44Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 35:44Laci Mosley?

  And then he helps us fix.

• 35:46Speaker 07

  Yes. He goes, "Vladimir, I'mma, I'mma play you in a movie." Vladimir Putin goes-

• 35:51Laci Mosley?

  Vladimir, I play you in a movie. I make you funny. I put you on horse, make you sexy funny.

• 35:55Speaker 07

  This is good. This is how we fix it.

• 35:57Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 35:57Speaker 07

  Look at us, coming up with solutions. A lot of podcasts ain't gonna do this.

• 36:01Laci Mosley?

  They're not coming up with solutions.

• 36:02Speaker 07

  It took two black people from the south to be like, "This is how we fix it." And guess what? We can't give them too much, cause they will assassinate one of us.

• 36:09Laci Mosley?

  Oh damn.

• 36:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:10Laci Mosley?

  Damn. Okay, wait, who would look sexier in the clouds?

• 36:14Speaker 07

  That's tough.

• 36:15Laci Mosley?

  That's hard.

• 36:16Speaker 07

  That's tough.

• 36:16Laci Mosley?

  Cause you, who-

• 36:17Speaker 07

  Cause I don't wanna be in the casket. I wanna be propped up.

• 36:19Laci Mosley?

  We're both beautiful and we're both black and we're both queer. Damn, who do they choose?

• 36:25Speaker 07

  Listen, that's gonna be flip of a coin for them.

• 36:27Laci Mosley?

  Damn. I feel like it might be me. Cause they assassinated a lot of black men. It would be a nice switch up to kill a woman.

• 36:34Speaker 07

  But see, no, but I don't want, honestly, you know what, Lacey?

• 36:38Laci Mosley?

  You know what, I'mma stop smiling. Cause this lights up a room.

• 36:44Laci Mosley?

  They gonna get me. You're smiling, lights up a room too, Smile Boy.

• 36:48Speaker 07

  No, I can't. I don't wanna, no.

• 36:50Laci Mosley?

  Show those 32. Okay, well, we gotta get back to Desco.

• 36:54Speaker 07

  Desco pop off. He was tricking, he was tricking. He tricked the Nazis.

• 36:59Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he tricked the Nazis, right? As a double agent. Desco was the real life inspiration, right, for James Bond, as we said. The movie Fortitude also stars Matthew Goode, Ben Kingsley, and Michael Sheen.

• 37:10Speaker 07

  Okay, yeah. I love Ben Kingsley.

• 37:13Laci Mosley?

  Charlie Sheen's dead.

• 37:14Speaker 07

  Yeah, Martin Sheen.

• 37:16Laci Mosley?

  So here he is holding that gun. It was shot on a 35mm in the fall of 2025 in London. I love when things are shot on cameras, baby.

• 37:24Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 37:24Laci Mosley?

  Directed by Simon West, who also made Tomb Raider and Con Air and another cage movie. Listen, Con Air was lit.

• 37:31Speaker 07

  Yeah, Tomb Raider too.

• 37:32Laci Mosley?

  Inspirational to me.

• 37:33Speaker 07

  Tomb Raider. What Meg say? I'm running through this nigga house like a tomb reader.

• 37:37Laci Mosley?

  He's a con movie maker. We love a con movie maker. It's like, are we doing robbery? Are we doing fraud? Yes. So the heist. After Netflix expressed interest in buying the distribution rights to Fortitude, Associated Producer Daniel Haido dropped off a hard drive with a copy of the movie on it, June 15th, 2026, at the Netflix LA office, along with instructions to wipe the device once the Netflix team had watched the film.

• 38:05Laci Mosley?

  We know, ain't nobody wiping no device. These are children. Nobody knows how to wipe anything.

• 38:09Speaker 07

  He dropped, he dropped the thumb drive at the-

• 38:12Laci Mosley?

  And he said, "Wipe the device when you're done."

• 38:14Speaker 07

  You know how I can tell that place ain't secure? I walked in there.

• 38:18Laci Mosley?

  Same. Been all up and through. Been all up and through. The cabinets, the refrigerators, everything. Door rules.

• 38:25Speaker 07

  I could've accidentally took it.

• 38:26Laci Mosley?

  Y'all ain't watching shit. I'm up in there like, da-dung.

• 38:31Speaker 07

  I'm messing with the remotes. Y'all ain't got Hulu? Put on my special. They said, "Jay, this is Netflix office. Put it on Hulu though."

• 38:37Laci Mosley?

  Put it on Hulu though. Y'all got Hulu? Y'all gotta watch our competitors. Period.

• 38:43Speaker 07

  Imagine going to Netflix being like, "Put on Amazon Prime real quick for me."

• 38:48Laci Mosley?

  I got something y'all wanna see.

• 38:52Laci Mosley?

  They got it.

• 38:53Speaker 07

  They have to.

• 38:54Laci Mosley?

  So within 24 hours, Netflix executives screened the film. Haido also told Netflix to notify him when the drive was ready for pickup, but Netflix was unresponsive to several efforts to pick up the drive.

• 39:06Speaker 07

  Wait a second.

• 39:08Laci Mosley?

  Now, physical media is dying and you brought them physical media. I don't understand why you thought they was gonna give it back to you.

• 39:14Speaker 07

  Um, Daniel also said Netflix was unresponsive. Welcome to the club, man. Welcome to the club, man. Sometimes they be like, "We got, we gonna, we gonna talk to you a little bit." Hey, we love it. Hey, we love it. We lo- oh, big fans of Jay. Big fans of Daniel. We gonna talk to you in a bit. Hey, sit tight. Hey, sit tight. We gotta give Chappelle another $5 million. Wait a minute.

• 39:33Laci Mosley?

  Wait a minute.

• 39:34Speaker 07

  Wait a minute. He said Netflix was unresponsive. Welcome to being a comic, Daniel.

• 39:40Laci Mosley?

  Oh, he's so hot, though.

• 39:44Laci Mosley?

  So, wait a minute, though. On June 25th.

• 39:47Speaker 07

  Right.

• 39:47Laci Mosley?

  Netflix, like, a Netflix executive sent an email to two members of the Fortitude film team. Sometime in the last 10 days, the hard drive has been stolen, along with a bunch of other ones. Other ones. Netflix says its internal investigation found that the other hard drives were empty. So they're trying to be like, "Oh, I know you said empty the hard drive once we watched it, but it actually had gotten stolen?" But it was stolen with the other empty hard drives that we definitely emptied, so don't worry about it because it was stolen and it was definitely probably empty, maybe.

• 40:25Speaker 07

  Now this is getting crazy. This is, so this is a scam about a movie that was about a scammer for good. So this was a, a story about a good scammer who was tricking Nazis.

• 40:37Laci Mosley?

  We're in the Russian dollar scams.

• 40:40Speaker 07

  We're in the Serbian dollar scams. This is amazing.

• 40:43Laci Mosley?

  The Serbian dollar scams. I like that. So Sean Bernie, Netflix's head of acquisitions, said that this type of theft had never happened before.

• 40:53Speaker 07

  He just ran for mayor of LA.

• 40:55Laci Mosley?

  No, that-

• 40:56Speaker 07

  No.

• 40:57Laci Mosley?

  That was Spencer Pratt.

• 40:59Speaker 07

  That ain't Spencer.

• 40:59Laci Mosley?

  But it looks like Spencer.

• 41:00Speaker 07

  That ain't Spencer.

• 41:01Laci Mosley?

  This Spencer cousin.

• 41:02Speaker 07

  That ain't Spencer.

• 41:03Laci Mosley?

  This is definitely Spencer's cousin.

• 41:05Speaker 07

  Spencer. That ain't-

• 41:06Laci Mosley?

  Damn, he, damn, he's definitely Spencer's cousin.

• 41:08Speaker 07

  That ain't Spencer.

• 41:09Laci Mosley?

  Oh, lord.

• 41:10Speaker 07

  That ain't y'all ex- would-be Republican mayor.

• 41:12Laci Mosley?

  Wait, look at this lady over here. She's side-eyed. She knows.

• 41:15Speaker 07

  Cause she thinks, that ain't Spencer. She thinking that ain't Spencer.

• 41:18Laci Mosley?

  I bet she knows.

• 41:19Speaker 07

  I bet she knows. I bet she knows.

• 41:22Laci Mosley?

  She, she, she's like-

• 41:24Speaker 07

  She said, "Spencer, you ain't slick." She said, she, she said, "Sean, sure, whatever. You Spencer." I know, I know Spencer Pratt when I see Spencer Pratt. I didn't watch the OC for nothing. I didn't watch the Hills for nothing. Where hiding?

• 41:37Laci Mosley?

  Well, he said that the type of theft had never happened before. He says Netflix checked their security cameras and they are monitoring piracy websites with no luck. The thieves are still at large.

• 41:56Laci Mosley?

  Because you're the thieves.

• 41:57Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:58Laci Mosley?

  What you mean?

• 41:59Speaker 07

  Netflix, you downloaded that man's movie and said, I don't know where it went.

• 42:02Laci Mosley?

  They said, da dum.

• 42:05Laci Mosley?

  And they took it.

• 42:07Speaker 07

  Netflix said, still watching? Nope.

• 42:10Speaker 07

  This is crazy.

• 42:10Laci Mosley?

  Wanted to remind you later.

• 42:11Speaker 07

  Really, really Netflix? You are, you, you doing what crackhead cousins used to do, being like, I don't know where it is.

• 42:16Laci Mosley?

  I don't know.

• 42:17Speaker 07

  Wait a second.

• 42:18Laci Mosley?

  Where, where, it was a US, it was a USB, right? USB? Not P?

• 42:22Speaker 07

  Nah, okay, wait a second. US, a jump drive, a flash drive, what you call it?

• 42:26Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 07

  I got a floppy disk. You need this? No, okay, let me look. I'ma look for, if it turns up, if it turns, listen, you gonna be the first person I call.

• 42:34Laci Mosley?

  The first person I call.

• 42:34Speaker 07

  If it turns up, if it was a snake.

• 42:36Laci Mosley?

  If it may be.

• 42:37Speaker 07

  If it was a snake, it would have bit me. If it turns up, if I find it, I'ma let you know. Well, how much, how much money you said? It was 200?

• 42:46Laci Mosley?

  Nah, we'll get it.

• 42:47Speaker 07

  We'll find it.

• 42:47Laci Mosley?

  So Sean.

• 42:48Speaker 07

  You know, because if you, if somebody take it, the God ain't gonna bless them. If somebody take it, God ain't gonna bless them. They can't do nothing with their money.

• 42:53Laci Mosley?

  You have really doubled down.

• 42:58Laci Mosley?

  So Sean Spencer.

• 43:01Speaker 07

  Sean Barney.

• 43:02Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, Sean Barney.

• 43:03Speaker 07

  Spencer Pratt.

• 43:04Laci Mosley?

  He claimed that thieves would need a key to unlock the movie, even though Netflix had allegedly asked the production company to unlock the drive prior to delivering it.

• 43:13Speaker 07

  You can unlock thumb drives?

• 43:16Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, because like, it's, it's password protected so that people don't steal it, or the only people who wa, you know how sometimes we get screeners? This is very Hollywood.

• 43:24Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:24Laci Mosley?

  Sometimes we get screeners.

• 43:26Speaker 07

  You gotta log in.

• 43:26Laci Mosley?

  And you gotta log in now. I miss physical screeners. I loved having physical media.

• 43:30Speaker 07

  We bought a DVD player just for that.

• 43:31Laci Mosley?

  And now it's like, log in here and you can only watch it in this set of time, or you can only do this, or da da da da da. Like, that's what honestly dragged me into the pit. I had screeners for the pit, and they fucked up and gave me the whole goddamn season, because I had actors from the pit come on the show. And I was so, it was so good.

• 43:49Speaker 07

  Lacey, it's so funny. I, I now know you were talking about the show The Pit, but I thought you meant like some sort of metaphysical pit. You said, that dragged me into the pit. I said, of despair? What's going on? I said, get up out of it, Lacey. Get up out of it. Get up out of it. Get up out of it.

• 44:06Laci Mosley?

  This, this, this persona, I, now I know if I see this one, you're scamming, because what is this, Jay?

• 44:12Speaker 07

  The pit. It dragged me into the pit.

• 44:15Laci Mosley?

  So Sean offered to reimburse the production company for the missing hard drive. Instead, the writer-producer is suing Netflix for 105 million dollars.

• 44:27Speaker 07

  Whoa!

• 44:29Laci Mosley?

  That means our prices are gonna go up. Remember Netflix was in the like, the three-digit money amounts, now it's in the five. I'm including the, the period.

• 44:38Speaker 07

  Yeah, the, the little juju.

• 44:40Laci Mosley?

  So now it's in the four. So it was in the three, now it's in the four. So I used, I'm including the decimal, exactly. So it was like, oh, this amount of money.

• 44:47Speaker 07

  It used to be nine.

• 44:48Laci Mosley?

  And now it's like 21?

• 44:49Speaker 07

  Nine, and now it's in, yeah, it's on up there.

• 44:51Laci Mosley?

  It's in the twenties.

• 44:52Speaker 07

  And what's wild is that they, I guarantee they didn't offer them 105 million dollars. That wasn't the offer, so he is saying, I don't want whatever y'all offered, because they probably just offered to pay for the flash drive. Probably say, I can give you 20, you know what you need?

• 45:08Laci Mosley?

  What is this, a sand disc?

• 45:09Speaker 07

  You need 30.

• 45:10Laci Mosley?

  A sand disc? Yeah, we got 15 for you.

• 45:12Speaker 07

  Yeah, what you need? I can go to the geek squad.

• 45:14Laci Mosley?

  Talk to the receptionist. Actually, it's gonna cover your parking, so, yeah, you good. We can stamp your parking and then you're good.

• 45:20Speaker 07

  We can put on a lanyard so you don't lose it again.

• 45:22Laci Mosley?

  We add somebody else in, now that we're talking about that lawsuit. We have Simone Afrem. We got a lot of Simone Simons up in here.

• 45:29Speaker 07

  Yeah, this is the second Simone, okay.

• 45:31Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, this is boy Simone. We got girl Simone Simone, and we got boy Simone. So Simone Afrem, the film's writer and producer, also happens to be a Swiss billionaire.

• 45:41Speaker 07

  What?

• 45:41Laci Mosley?

  Who spent seven years on his passion project to write and personally finance this movie. The movie cost 45 million dollars to make, but Simone is suing for 105 million, arguing that because the 42 team has to tell potential buyers the movie could already be leaked, the theft is hindering the sales process and could further impact everything from insurance to marketing.

• 46:05Speaker 07

  Yes. Um, I want to take a moment to say, Simone Afrem, a Swiss billionaire, if you want to produce a comedy special, I could also.

• 46:14Laci Mosley?

  Right.

• 46:15Speaker 07

  If, I, we can make it about Dusko.

• 46:17Laci Mosley?

  We don't need to be 45 million.

• 46:18Speaker 07

  I don't need 45 million. We could, I, we.

• 46:20Laci Mosley?

  We could make this movie.

• 46:22Speaker 07

  We could, I can make a couple of jokes about this and you can get some of your money back. You just gotta give me one minute, two minutes, five minutes?

• 46:30Laci Mosley?

  Five minutes, like six, 12.

• 46:33Speaker 07

  You're a Swiss billionaire. I love Swiss chocolate, watches.

• 46:38Laci Mosley?

  Swiss miss?

• 46:38Speaker 07

  Swiss miss.

• 46:39Laci Mosley?

  Marshmallows.

• 46:40Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 46:40Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, let us in.

• 46:42Speaker 07

  Simone.

• 46:43Laci Mosley?

  So the lawsuit says, though it's mishandling of the film and subsequent dismissiveness, Netflix has jeopardized plaintiff's investment of over 45 million dollars and the significant value of the film itself. The horts. Netflix has also deprived the film, its cast, and its creators of the opportunity to bring their work to market and receive recognition that properly marketed worldwide release would likely have generated.

• 47:10Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:10Laci Mosley?

  Hmm. So they say you robbed opportunities, like this could have been Oscar moment, this could have been people's press, and that does happen. I've been in projects that were fully filmed and then didn't come out. Luckily for me, it was one that I didn't want to come out. I was actually very happy. They switched the script up on me. I was playing a rapper named Queen Coochie, you don't want to know.

• 47:30Speaker 07

  Queen Coochie?

• 47:31Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, it was bad.

• 47:31Speaker 07

  Queen Coochie? I love this.

• 47:34Laci Mosley?

  I'm so glad it never came out. Walmart got sued, and I got saved. So.

• 47:37Speaker 07

  I've been in a situation where I got cast, did the role, shot it, two days on set, we got cut from the movie, people were making fun of the movie online, as like the rollout, the press rollout, because I was cut, I didn't have to defend the movie. People was like, this movie's terrible. I was like, that's crazy. That's wild that y'all saying that. That's, whoa, I'm, I still get residual from that movie.

• 48:01Laci Mosley?

  Period.

• 48:01Speaker 07

  They small now, but I still get them.

• 48:04Laci Mosley?

  Listen, I was a black lady on, on Insecure.

• 48:07Speaker 07

  That was the role, that was the title.

• 48:09Laci Mosley?

  And it was a dream sequence, which, when I read it, I was like, fuck, there's a possibility that this could get cut, because it's a dream sequence, you know? So we shoot it all, right? And I had told my family, told them too early, and my lesson.

• 48:22Speaker 07

  Listen.

• 48:22Laci Mosley?

  That I was in Insecure. Me and Issa laugh about this, like, but I told them. And then Insecure comes out, and I get told from my reps that I'm not gonna be in it, the dream sequence is cut out. Okay, cool. It was a season three trailer, right? Why am I in the trailer?

• 48:38Speaker 07

  Ooh.

• 48:39Laci Mosley?

  So now my family's like, oh my gosh, she in Insecure, she, she. I knew it wasn't actually ever gonna air.

• 48:46Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 48:47Laci Mosley?

  But honestly, though, kinda cut. I was like, you didn't cut me for my performance, okay? Y'all cut it for story reasons, but.

• 48:54Speaker 07

  You end up in the trailer.

• 48:55Laci Mosley?

  I, you're selling the show with me now.

• 48:58Speaker 07

  I had a situation like that, where I was in the trailer first of Battle of the Figures, this past season that just came out. I was in the trailer, and then I was in one episode, and they're like, and more? I was like, that's it. You actually saw me twice. You saw me in the trailer, and you saw me in the episode, I'm done.

• 49:12Speaker 07

  But with Insecure, the funnier thing with Insecure is when you end up in one of the crazy scenes. You, so you know TSA Bay? You know Reggie? We showed, he, he was having sex with Issa's character, he showed his ass. Reggie's like a good friend of mine, he's a hilarious comic from Philly, based in New York, so funny, but like, for a good year, just people be like, hey, I saw your ass. I saw your ass on Insecure. Hey, man, look at me when I talk to you, man. I saw your ass.

• 49:40Laci Mosley?

  Look at me when I talk to you while you're saying I saw your ass.

• 49:43Speaker 07

  Look at me, big booty TSA dude. Why you, why were you, why were you fucking on Issa like that? Why were you fucking on Issa like that? She was sad.

• 49:53Speaker 07

  I can say it. I showed my ass on HBO, High Maintenance, season four, episode two, booty was out. My mama saw the episode. You know what she said? That's my ass. I said, you're right, you're right, Margaret. I got it from you.

• 50:06Laci Mosley?

  Now she, that's genetic. She was like, I made that ass.

• 50:08Speaker 07

  She said, that one person, that's me.

• 50:11Laci Mosley?

  My mom didn't give me her ass, so I'm never showing it.

• 50:16Laci Mosley?

  Listen, look, I, these titties can't get boston ball money, but they gotta get, it's gotta be artistic.

• 50:20Speaker 07

  They're, they're amazing boobs. In LA, you rare, in LA, you see so many people, and they go, oh, you know, I guess I gotta go to LA get my boobs up. When people come to LA with titties, that's a power move.

• 50:36Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you're supposed to get them when you're here.

• 50:37Speaker 07

  You're supposed to get them when you're here. And you come, that's like when you bring a dish to someone's house, they go, oh my gosh, thank you. Thank you for bringing something. Thank you for bringing something, because people don't know, they don't have class no more. Some people just bring ice.

• 50:48Laci Mosley?

  That's crazy.

• 50:49Speaker 07

  They bring cups. You brought some cups.

• 50:51Laci Mosley?

  I brought some cups, some C cups. I brought some C cups. Scars.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  911, what's your emergency? Please help us. They're everywhere. We think they're murder warrants. 911 Nashville returns.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  There's a homicide detective down here.

• 51:11Speaker 01

  Three bodies on the ground. With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  All sins swarms upon you and upon your people. That's one of the plagues of the Bible. And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 51:22Speaker 01

  Ryan Phillippe joins 911 Nashville, all new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 51:28Speaker 03

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• 52:57Laci Mosley?

  She'd throw things, wander, and started hoarding. Mom's Alzheimer's was already so hard. But then we found out she had agitation that may happen with dementia due to Alzheimer's disease. And that was a different kind of difficult. So we asked her doctor for more help.

• 53:12Speaker 01

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• 53:47Laci Mosley?

  I'm glad I asked for help.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Ask your loved one's doctor about Rexulti.

• 53:57Laci Mosley?

  So now, they got a... I think this is a strong case here, Simo.

• 54:02Speaker 07

  105 million.

• 54:03Laci Mosley?

  Simon, we gonna call him Simon. Because we got Simo, Simo. So you gonna have to be Simon, boys. Boy, Simo. Simo, Simo. So Simon says Netflix also refused to cooperate with the Los Angeles Police Department.

• 54:15Speaker 07

  What?

• 54:16Laci Mosley?

  But this isn't the first time Simon, whose business interests aren't public information, sued someone over a movie he spent seven years writing and producing. I guess he'd be doing this.

• 54:25Speaker 07

  Wait, so he's just...

• 54:26Laci Mosley?

  Previous lawsuit. So Simon had another previous lawsuit. At one point, Martin Scorsese was attached to the project. Simon later sued him. Sue Marty!

• 54:35Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 54:35Laci Mosley?

  Claiming he took $500,000 from a first-time screenwriter to help develop the film and didn't end up doing it. Scorsese's lawyers called it a classic example of the novice filmmaker who refuses to appreciate the stark difference between expectation and reality in the filmmaking business. It was later settled. Mmm, but it was settled, though, so Martin.

• 54:55Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 54:56Laci Mosley?

  Martin!

• 54:57Speaker 07

  Martin, you so crazy.

• 54:58Laci Mosley?

  I love you, Martin.

• 54:59Speaker 07

  Martin Scorsese?

• 55:00Laci Mosley?

  Honestly, Martin, we are actors, and we gonna be on your side. We just know that you had this one.

• 55:05Speaker 07

  Listen, Martin Scorsese...

• 55:06Laci Mosley?

  It does say it was settled, though, so Martin, what you have to settle for?

• 55:08Speaker 07

  Martin, this is what happened. Martin Scorsese is an older man. He didn't know. That was tricking him.

• 55:12Laci Mosley?

  Martin, what you do?

• 55:13Speaker 07

  That was fooling him.

• 55:14Laci Mosley?

  Don't tell us, but tell me.

• 55:15Speaker 07

  That was fooling him. I'm not about to argue with the man who made all those mob movies. Y'all not about to have me beat up.

• 55:20Laci Mosley?

  I feel like he know too much about mob.

• 55:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:22Laci Mosley?

  Like, it might be meta.

• 55:23Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:24Laci Mosley?

  He definitely knows somebody.

• 55:25Speaker 07

  To me, this is meta. Because what if Netflix stole it and then returned it all in the hopes that they can tell this story and double-dip and release the movie? What if they have the story that is about Dusko?

• 55:36Laci Mosley?

  Do I have a tinfoil hat?

• 55:37Speaker 07

  Listen, put it on. They got the story about Dusko. They got Fortitude. But then, because this is a movie about tricking people, now they also have the heist of the film. So now, if they want to, they can make a documentary and a further... They can make a second movie about how this movie got stolen. It's about spies. You can intercut in between the spy foot... Man, you can't trick me. I can't trick me. I've been in this industry too long. I see it. I see for what it is. I know. I wasn't even gay before I started doing comedy.

• 56:10Speaker 07

  I said, I said, if I'm gonna do...

• 56:11Laci Mosley?

  Comedy turned me gay!

• 56:12Speaker 07

  I said, if I'm gonna do... I said, if I'm gonna be successful in Hollywood...

• 56:16Laci Mosley?

  Hey, had I eaten some coochie before I started comedy?

• 56:20Laci Mosley?

  I don't think I did.

• 56:21Speaker 07

  See, see? That's what... And you come to LA, that's what gonna happen to you.

• 56:27Speaker 07

  You come out here. I'm full Mississippi uncle now. Yeah, you went to LA. Went to LA. They say, oh, you want some trisumi? Now, look at you. Now, look at you. You go on full amasake.

• 56:42Speaker 07

  You eating some yellowtail.

• 56:43Laci Mosley?

  Oh, did I not eat yellowtail?

• 56:45Speaker 07

  You eating some yellowtail. That's a light-skinned woman. You eating some yellowtail. Got some hamachi. I know a girl named Hamachi. Went out there, became a lesbian.

• 56:57Speaker 07

  L A... L A S B U N exclamation point. A lesbian.

• 57:05Laci Mosley?

  My stomach hurts. Okay.

• 57:07Speaker 07

  You on the Ozempic because you can only eat coochie. You can't hold nothing else down.

• 57:13Speaker 07

  Breaking my heart.

• 57:14Laci Mosley?

  The way you're reading me for filth right now is crazy. Okay, I have to finish the episode J.

• 57:20Speaker 07

  Acai bowls.

• 57:23Laci Mosley?

  Okay.

• 57:24Speaker 07

  You know what they put in that?

• 57:25Laci Mosley?

  You gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop.

• 57:31Speaker 07

  They say you want some matcha. I said, I'm a...

• 57:33Laci Mosley?

  Stop, stop! I'm gonna fuck the table over, hey, goddammit! I want matcha! And acai bowls is my favorite food and sushi. Yes, I'm a lesbian!

• 57:44Speaker 07

  I said, you better matcha your ass back there and give me some coffee.

• 57:52Laci Mosley?

  I'm reading now. I'm reading. I'm fighting for my life.

• 57:57Speaker 07

  I wasn't the person who said I had a heart out. I don't.

• 58:01Laci Mosley?

  You son of a bitch.

• 58:05Laci Mosley?

  The previous lawsuit. So Martin Scorsese got sued.

• 58:10Speaker 07

  That was me doing an impression of the audience members at Chocolate Sundae this past weekend.

• 58:15Laci Mosley?

  He later settled it. God, my throat hurts.

• 58:21Laci Mosley?

  And Fortitude isn't the first Nicolas Cage movie to be stolen.

• 58:25Speaker 07

  What?

• 58:25Laci Mosley?

  He was in a movie called Stolen!

• 58:28Speaker 07

  No!

• 58:33Speaker 07

  What?

• 58:34Laci Mosley?

  Appropri...

• 58:36Laci Mosley?

  Appropriately named in 2012. It was a rip-off of Taken, and I love that.

• 58:43Speaker 07

  Oh, my God. Wait a second.

• 58:45Laci Mosley?

  He's in a lot of movies. Now, listen, I love the rip-off of Taken.

• 58:49Speaker 07

  This is to be Taken?

• 58:50Laci Mosley?

  To be Taken. And listen, I love this because one of my favorite things that black people do is we rename things.

• 58:57Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 58:58Laci Mosley?

  You know, there's no S in Nordstrom's?

• 59:00Speaker 07

  What?

• 59:00Laci Mosley?

  We added that. There's no S in JCPenney's. We added that as well.

• 59:04Speaker 07

  It's more than one store, and...

• 59:05Laci Mosley?

  It is.

• 59:06Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 59:06Laci Mosley?

  Which is why we're correct.

• 59:08Speaker 07

  Yeah, exactly.

• 59:08Laci Mosley?

  Yes. And one time, I called my mother, Lori.

• 59:11Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:12Laci Mosley?

  And I was like, hey, Mom, what are you doing? She said, me and your daddy just laying here watching Retook.

• 59:17Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:17Laci Mosley?

  And I said, oh, I haven't heard of Retook. Is that, is that like a new movie? I haven't watched that movie. Throw that out, too.

• 59:23Speaker 07

  Retook.

• 59:24Laci Mosley?

  And she was like, you know, it's the one with the neck chopping, with Liam Neeson with the neck chopping. I said, Taken?

• 59:29Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 59:29Laci Mosley?

  And she was like, yeah, Retook.

• 59:32Speaker 07

  Retook.

• 59:32Laci Mosley?

  I said, Taken 2?

• 59:33Speaker 07

  Yup.

• 59:35Laci Mosley?

  Retook.

• 59:36Speaker 07

  That's logic, though. I like that. Retook. Retook.

• 59:40Laci Mosley?

  So Stolen?

• 59:41Speaker 07

  Stolen.

• 59:42Laci Mosley?

  They was like Taken, now we got Stolen.

• 59:44Speaker 07

  Stolen.

• 59:45Laci Mosley?

  Robbed.

• 59:46Speaker 07

  Pilfered.

• 59:47Laci Mosley?

  Knapped.

• 59:48Speaker 07

  Snatched.

• 59:51Speaker 07

  Burgled.

• 59:53Laci Mosley?

  Burgled wins.

• 59:54Speaker 07

  Burgled.

• 59:55Laci Mosley?

  Burgled. They burgled my baby!

• 59:56Speaker 07

  They done burgled my baby.

• 59:58Laci Mosley?

  Burgled.

• 59:59Speaker 07

  Burgled.

• 59:59Laci Mosley?

  They hit all the neck chops you want. I love that. Liam Bradley had to use a gun. He was just neck chopping. Yeah, yeah. Now, he did do that interview where he talked about walking around Europe with a bat. Looking for black men.

• 1:00:12Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:00:13Laci Mosley?

  And I was like, damn, Liam, we was on your side. You were one of our favorite whites. I can't believe you did this to us. Uh, but...

• 1:00:20Speaker 07

  I was just looking for a black bastard. That's what he said. He said, I was just looking for a black bastard.

• 1:00:25Laci Mosley?

  And he was comfortable enough to say that, sir. Were you under the influence? Why did you think this was a good thing to say?

• 1:00:30Speaker 07

  He picked the right place to do it, though. He didn't come to America. He didn't go... I was in Houston looking for a black bastard.

• 1:00:35Laci Mosley?

  Oh, no, because he was found.

• 1:00:36Speaker 07

  He would have found a couple.

• 1:00:39Laci Mosley?

  And you don't want to find them.

• 1:00:40Speaker 07

  That is funny.

• 1:00:41Laci Mosley?

  You're right.

• 1:00:42Speaker 07

  Wanted to find black people to beat up.

• 1:00:43Laci Mosley?

  I was looking for a spot of tea, negro. A spot of tea. Like, you weren't looking for us. Because we be looking for you.

• 1:00:50Speaker 07

  To go to the, to go to Europe and be like, I was looking for a black bastard. No, ain't nothing over there. You know where you can go.

• 1:00:57Laci Mosley?

  Ain't there, though?

• 1:00:57Speaker 07

  There's some.

• 1:00:58Laci Mosley?

  I've met some very lovely European negroes.

• 1:01:01Speaker 07

  I was just in London for a week. They came out to the show. They were fun. Yeah, I love it. I love it in it.

• 1:01:08Laci Mosley?

  I love it in it too.

• 1:01:09Speaker 07

  In it.

• 1:01:09Laci Mosley?

  I love it in it.

• 1:01:10Speaker 07

  In it.

• 1:01:11Laci Mosley?

  In it.

• 1:01:11Speaker 07

  Bruv.

• 1:01:11Laci Mosley?

  Bruv.

• 1:01:12Speaker 07

  Bruv.

• 1:01:13Laci Mosley?

  Bruv, bruv, bruv.

• 1:01:14Speaker 07

  And you know how strong we are?

• 1:01:16Laci Mosley?

  My guy, cousin, bruv.

• 1:01:17Speaker 07

  Because what we're doing right now, yes, I know culturally insensitive. I don't do this to their face, but...

• 1:01:22Laci Mosley?

  Oh, I do it to their faces?

• 1:01:23Speaker 07

  Okay, well you...

• 1:01:24Laci Mosley?

  I do.

• 1:01:25Speaker 07

  Well, now...

• 1:01:26Laci Mosley?

  They don't have a little pickpocket?

• 1:01:27Speaker 07

  You kind of are doing whenever white people do the... Nah, cuz?

• 1:01:33Laci Mosley?

  No, no, it's not the same. No, no, it's not the same.

• 1:01:36Speaker 07

  Okay, nah, it's not the same.

• 1:01:37Laci Mosley?

  Nah, it's a little more Australian.

• 1:01:38Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:39Laci Mosley?

  It's more Australian.

• 1:01:39Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Laci Mosley?

  It's more Australian. All I really can say in an Australian accent is like...

• 1:01:43Speaker 07

  You was just over there.

• 1:01:44Laci Mosley?

  No, I was in Ireland.

• 1:01:46Speaker 07

  You're in...

• 1:01:46Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, having a good crock, I was in Ireland.

• 1:01:49Speaker 07

  Ireland?

• 1:01:49Laci Mosley?

  Yes, I'm learning all the European regional accents for my next scam.

• 1:01:53Speaker 07

  Kicked out.

• 1:01:54Laci Mosley?

  Yes, no babes, I'm trying to get their Irish passport. They got all the stamps. You can go to the UK, go EU, like, I need, I need that, I need that. So, I'm gonna find me a little Shamrock, a little Liam. Somebody at the end of the rainbow.

• 1:02:06Speaker 07

  A little Shamrock.

• 1:02:07Laci Mosley?

  To love me, okay? Period.

• 1:02:10Speaker 07

  Party like a Shamrock star.

• 1:02:11Laci Mosley?

  So, this is stolen, right?

• 1:02:12Speaker 07

  Stolen.

• 1:02:13Laci Mosley?

  I didn't watch Stolen, but now I kind of want to watch Stolen. Should we all do a movie night at Stolen? Like, I feel like we need to watch it. Nicolas Cage makes a lot of movies. They...

• 1:02:25Speaker 07

  If two of your movies get stolen, that's like, it's not your fault, but you are...

• 1:02:31Laci Mosley?

  I feel like you are contributing to the stolenness of the movie.

• 1:02:33Speaker 07

  You know what it is? Have you ever had someone that go, "Oh, I lost my phone." And then within the same calendar year, they lose it again, you go, "Now it's you."

• 1:02:44Laci Mosley?

  Uh huh.

• 1:02:45Speaker 07

  You go first.

• 1:02:45Laci Mosley?

  It's, uh huh.

• 1:02:46Speaker 07

  At first, I, okay, sometimes they steal phones in the club. I've been to Miami, I get it.

• 1:02:50Laci Mosley?

  Or maybe you lose your air, your phone in an airplane seat that's like the reclining one. This is very specific, not from my own experience, but the reclining airplane seat and then it's stuck in between and then they won't let you get it out and then you can't get it and you gotta get a new phone and work from your iPad for a little while?

• 1:03:06Speaker 07

  And you go, "Wow, I really lost it." I thought Delta One was gonna be the lap of luxury. I have lost my phone.

• 1:03:11Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, Delta One was like, "You're not the one, or the two. We're not taking care of you."

• 1:03:16Speaker 07

  Ah, you're not the one, the two, we're not taking... Yeah, but now, if you lose a second movie...

• 1:03:21Laci Mosley?

  Yes, like you're losing too many movies.

• 1:03:23Speaker 07

  You're losing movies.

• 1:03:24Laci Mosley?

  Like, movies is a lot to lose.

• 1:03:25Speaker 07

  Right, more than one?

• 1:03:26Laci Mosley?

  That's like losing a house. It's like, how did you lose two houses?

• 1:03:29Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:31Laci Mosley?

  It just took them, I came back and it was just stilts. Like, what happened? What happened? Feels too big to lose.

• 1:03:37Speaker 07

  Right, you worked hard on this.

• 1:03:41Laci Mosley?

  So, Nick Cage has been the star of somewhere around 100 films.

• 1:03:45Speaker 07

  That's beautiful.

• 1:03:46Laci Mosley?

  And appeared in smaller roles than about 50 more. The actual number is disputed online. He's averaged more than two movies per year over his 40-year career, that would be 80 off rip, and up to four movies per year since 2015. Some of them are great, some of them are not, many are streaming, but the man... Streaming glasses, honestly, streaming is killing us.

• 1:04:09Speaker 07

  Some are good, some are great, some are...

• 1:04:10Laci Mosley?

  Some of them are streaming.

• 1:04:11Speaker 07

  Some of them are streaming.

• 1:04:13Laci Mosley?

  But the man did win an Oscar for Best Actor, so give him a break. His movies have grossed over 6.4 billion worldwide. He has to work a lot to afford his spending habits that include two castles, a pet octopus, and dinosaur bones. He once outbid Leonardo DiCaprio to acquire a 270,067-million-year-old Tarbosaurus skull, which also may have been stolen.

• 1:04:40Speaker 07

  What?

• 1:04:41Laci Mosley?

  But how much is one stolen Netflix screener worth? Only a court system can decide. Yeah, I, that's how you know you have too much money. When you are bidding on dinosaur bones against Leonardo DiCaprio, you have absolutely lost the plot.

• 1:04:55Speaker 07

  Wait a minute, what if Nicolas Cage is in on this?

• 1:04:58Laci Mosley?

  Rich, you're gonna become boring.

• 1:05:00Speaker 07

  Nicolas Cage...

• 1:05:01Laci Mosley?

  Why would it make us interesting?

• 1:05:02Speaker 07

  Nicolas Cage stole the Fortitude movie and now he's hiding it and making Netflix and Simone fight against each other and then he's gonna pop up with...

• 1:05:12Laci Mosley?

  Okay, but he must be still living in delusion because does he think that he is like 1980s or 90s Nicolas Cage? Ain't nobody paying that much for a Nicolas Cage movie right now?

• 1:05:23Speaker 07

  Okay, but he don't know that.

• 1:05:25Laci Mosley?

  He living in delusion.

• 1:05:26Speaker 07

  He don't know that.

• 1:05:27Laci Mosley?

  He was like, "What if I steal me? Then everybody's gonna want me."

• 1:05:30Speaker 07

  That's beautiful.

• 1:05:32Laci Mosley?

  But I love his confidence, though.

• 1:05:33Speaker 07

  I love it.

• 1:05:33Laci Mosley?

  I actually never want him to let his self-esteem down. You know what? You should think that you could steal your own movie and that it would be fought for.

• 1:05:40Speaker 07

  Nicolas Cage did this. That's, that's my call. Nicolas Cage is the person, he put on a hat and then he like took the jump drive.

• 1:05:49Laci Mosley?

  He took on a hat and rose-colored glasses and was like...

• 1:05:52Speaker 07

  He put on the big hat, the lesbian hat, pull it back up, the lesbian hat.

• 1:05:56Laci Mosley?

  We need to go back to lesbian Nicolas Cage.

• 1:05:58Speaker 07

  They said, "Who's that? They said, "Who's that lesbian? We don't know her."

• 1:06:01Laci Mosley?

  We don't know her.

• 1:06:01Speaker 07

  She walked off with the jump drive.

• 1:06:03Laci Mosley?

  But she was powerful, though.

• 1:06:04Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:06:04Laci Mosley?

  She had on a sparkly suit and a silk top. He walked in the building like that and stole the thumb drive.

• 1:06:10Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 1:06:11Laci Mosley?

  They were like, "We have to let this powerful lesbian have it."

• 1:06:12Speaker 07

  Cause you trust that person? Yeah, that lesbian said, "I'm gonna make sure Rosie sees this."

• 1:06:16Laci Mosley?

  She spent too much time on her fit to not trust her.

• 1:06:19Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 1:06:19Laci Mosley?

  We have to trust her.

• 1:06:20Speaker 07

  I was blinded by the rhinestones. They caught the light.

• 1:06:24Laci Mosley?

  Well, that's why he was stealing. You were blinded, he was like...

• 1:06:26Speaker 07

  Ah, you know how if you got lasers in the place? The rhinestones, they cascaded.

• 1:06:32Laci Mosley?

  They refracted the light.

• 1:06:33Speaker 07

  They refracted the light.

• 1:06:34Laci Mosley?

  So, it's just like red.

• 1:06:35Speaker 07

  That's a cloak of invisibility practically.

• 1:06:38Laci Mosley?

  A lesbian cloak of invisibility.

• 1:06:40Speaker 07

  Yes, which is Hollywood not making lesbian movies, but that...

• 1:06:43Laci Mosley?

  And we need so many more lesbian movies, uh...

• 1:06:46Speaker 07

  Lesbian movies, what they do is they make a...

• 1:06:48Laci Mosley?

  Oh my God, should I write the movie about like a butch queen who ruins my life with her backpack and problems?

• 1:06:52Speaker 07

  You should, but you gotta make sure that...

• 1:06:54Laci Mosley?

  That's all she got, is a backpack and problems. I might call it that.

• 1:07:00Speaker 07

  Well, cause like a lot of lesbians, the movies y'all get are like, it's in the 1950s and by the end, the women are old and about to die and they touch hands and they kind of go...

• 1:07:09Laci Mosley?

  That'd really be it.

• 1:07:09Speaker 07

  They go...

• 1:07:10Laci Mosley?

  They'd be on the porch after their husbands are dead and have a spontaneous elderly orgasm when they touch hands.

• 1:07:22Laci Mosley?

  And then they die. It'd be like, "Ah, I just need this one nut before..."

• 1:07:32Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, yeah, we need more, we need, we need more.

• 1:07:36Speaker 07

  And we expect you to produce it, Nico, Nicolette Cage.

• 1:07:40Laci Mosley?

  Nicolette!

• 1:07:41Speaker 07

  Nicolette Conde Fall, we expect you to produce it.

• 1:07:44Laci Mosley?

  Nicolette, you are now ally, okay? And it's not by choice, okay? We're just telling you.

• 1:07:48Speaker 07

  You've been drafted. You've been drafted to the LGBT army. We picking some up. That's right, straights, we drafting some of y'all now. You don't want to be gay? Too fucking bad. This is Uncle Sam, this is Auntie Sam. We want you.

• 1:08:06Speaker 07

  Me? This is straight, I'm, me? You.

• 1:08:08Laci Mosley?

  You.

• 1:08:09Speaker 07

  I'm, I'm gay now, you a lesbian?

• 1:08:10Laci Mosley?

  Yes.

• 1:08:10Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 1:08:12Laci Mosley?

  You got the hairline for it.

• 1:08:14Speaker 07

  No.

• 1:08:14Laci Mosley?

  Okay? Where are the pores? We like it, come on over, okay? You're now in recruitment.

• 1:08:21Speaker 07

  Lil' Fizz, you a lesbian now. I speak it, I send it.

• 1:08:26Laci Mosley?

  David Banner, house father. We won't fully turn you.

• 1:08:31Speaker 07

  With the wig.

• 1:08:31Laci Mosley?

  But after you was dancing with that wig.

• 1:08:33Speaker 07

  With the wig, David Banner, you a ally.

• 1:08:35Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, you gotta work for us.

• 1:08:36Speaker 07

  You a ally, David Banner. You didn't even know.

• 1:08:38Laci Mosley?

  I don't make the rules.

• 1:08:39Speaker 07

  We, you put that wig on.

• 1:08:41Laci Mosley?

  And so then you, you called us. It's a bat signal.

• 1:08:44Speaker 07

  You put that wig on backstage.

• 1:08:45Laci Mosley?

  That's like Alabama, bro, you throw the hat up in the air, we show up. Throw that wig on, the gays are here.

• 1:08:50Speaker 07

  You threw the wig up, hopped under it.

• 1:08:53Laci Mosley?

  And then started skipping. You thought you were gonna skip in a green suit and a wig and we weren't gonna call you to the draft? Please be serious.

• 1:08:59Speaker 07

  We need you to do...

• 1:09:00Laci Mosley?

  See you there.

• 1:09:01Speaker 07

  We need you to do a JSAT eight count next month.

• 1:09:04Laci Mosley?

  Next month.

• 1:09:05Speaker 07

  Major end.

• 1:09:06Laci Mosley?

  And we're not playing.

• 1:09:12Laci Mosley?

  So, Netflix itself has had a nice profitable year. Mostly due to a 2.8 billion termination fee Paramount paid them for not buying Warner Brothers. Cause remember, it's been Monopoly for a minute and we were trying to figure out who's gonna buy the Monopoly.

• 1:09:31Speaker 07

  This has been scams on scams on scams on scams on scams.

• 1:09:35Laci Mosley?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:36Speaker 07

  Whoa, they paid Paramount, Paramount paid them.

• 1:09:40Laci Mosley?

  No, so Paramount had to pay them because they were in the deal for buying Warner Brothers. Then Paramount wanted to swipe, like swipe in, cause Paramount ain't got, I can't even really say that.

• 1:09:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:09:50Laci Mosley?

  Watch iCarly on Paramount Plus.

• 1:09:52Speaker 07

  Watch our, and, and watch, watch Comedy Central. New Comedy Central stuff coming too from Paramount.

• 1:09:58Laci Mosley?

  Get Paramount Plus.

• 1:09:59Speaker 07

  Get Paramount Plus.

• 1:09:59Laci Mosley?

  It's good.

• 1:10:00Speaker 07

  Who doesn't love Yellowstone?

• 1:10:02Laci Mosley?

  We love it.

• 1:10:03Speaker 07

  We love Yellowstone.

• 1:10:04Laci Mosley?

  Put it in your eyeballs.

• 1:10:05Speaker 07

  Put that Yellowstone in your, land, man.

• 1:10:07Laci Mosley?

  Drag race, they got drag race.

• 1:10:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:09Laci Mosley?

  And then, um, DMV.

• 1:10:11Speaker 07

  The Challenge.

• 1:10:12Laci Mosley?

  Funny comedy.

• 1:10:13Speaker 07

  You, you want to see 40-year-olds blow out they knees? Watch The Challenge.

• 1:10:16Laci Mosley?

  You need to see 40-year-olds blow out they knees.

• 1:10:18Speaker 07

  Come on, them people...

• 1:10:20Laci Mosley?

  How can you appreciate your knee if you ain't seen one blown?

• 1:10:22Speaker 07

  You don't want to see CT? They got that man locked up in a cage like a pit bull. They just got him eating kibble out the bowl, ready to attack.

• 1:10:29Laci Mosley?

  These are things you're missing from Paramount, SpongeBob, Paramount Plus.

• 1:10:33Speaker 07

  CT has been doing The Challenge since I was in high school?

• 1:10:36Laci Mosley?

  And he's some fine shit. And all he, that's all he know how to do.

• 1:10:39Speaker 07

  Hey.

• 1:10:40Laci Mosley?

  Oof.

• 1:10:40Speaker 07

  It's, I'm gonna say it...

• 1:10:41Laci Mosley?

  He's like a golden retriever man.

• 1:10:43Speaker 07

  Nah, that's a pit bull man.

• 1:10:44Laci Mosley?

  I just, yo, you're right, he's a pit bull man.

• 1:10:46Speaker 07

  That's a pit bull man.

• 1:10:47Laci Mosley?

  But you know what? They do the same activities sometimes, cause golden retriever go fetch stuff.

• 1:10:50Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:50Laci Mosley?

  Pit bull man will go fetch stuff, but pit bull man is harder to train. That's what, you're right, he is a pit bull. Cause if he was golden retriever, he'd have a wife by now who knew how to send his skills into the right direction.

• 1:10:59Speaker 07

  A pit bull man, every now and then you say, "Kid, stop playing with that dog. You know that dog crazy."

• 1:11:05Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he a little...

• 1:11:07Speaker 07

  Stop, okay, no, he bites you.

• 1:11:09Laci Mosley?

  Yeah, he not lassie. He's like, he'll tell you somebody sucking the well, but it's like he biting your ankle, you like, "What? What?" And he like, "The well."

• 1:11:18Speaker 07

  Shout out CT, cause that's what he got, CTE. Shout out CT. Shout out CT.

• 1:11:24Laci Mosley?

  Call him CTE, it's crazy.

• 1:11:26Speaker 07

  CTE.

• 1:11:27Laci Mosley?

  Jay, I gotta wrap this up, cause you killing me.

• 1:11:32Laci Mosley?

  So, what's gonna happen to Fortitude?

• 1:11:34Speaker 07

  I'm trying to watch. Oh, you know, cra, that's crazy. So, Lacey, can I tell you something that relates to this? I didn't even know you gonna, so I found a flash drive last time I was at Netflix. And I think, wait a second, I mean...

• 1:11:46Laci Mosley?

  Why are you pulling up a bag?

• 1:11:51Laci Mosley?

  What happened to me right now?

• 1:11:52Speaker 07

  I think I got the...

• 1:11:54Laci Mosley?

  Why are you rummaging like me?

• 1:11:56Speaker 07

  I think I got it. It's a... Nope, that's a power bank.

• 1:12:00Laci Mosley?

  Okay, okay. So you got it?

• 1:12:03Speaker 07

  No, I don't have it.

• 1:12:04Laci Mosley?

  Well, what will happen afforded to... Let's see, Simon Afrem says that he continues to see tremendous interest in the film, and he hopes to find the right partner for distribution as the worldwide rights remain available.

• 1:12:19Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 1:12:19Laci Mosley?

  Will it be leaked online and lose all its value? Or will it be released in theaters and actually get a bump from the heist news cycle? Or was Simon actually the one who stole it? Attempting to make his money back via lawsuit? We may never know.

• 1:12:37Speaker 07

  Ooh, okay, yeah. We know what I do know?

• 1:12:42Laci Mosley?

  I think honestly, I'm gonna vote for Simon stole it. I'm gonna ask your opinion. I'm voting for Simon stole it just because Nicolas Cage is not the movie star that he was before. He ain't bringing in box office numbers. And you spent 45 million on this, and I think you realized you wasn't even gonna get that 45 back. So you were like, oh, maybe I steal it, and then I have to worry about it.

• 1:13:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, this is a little bit of double activities whenever you like... You say, oh, I'mma flip this, but then you sell it to somebody, but then you rob them to get it back because you weren't gonna make the money in the first place.

• 1:13:15Laci Mosley?

  And then sell it again.

• 1:13:16Speaker 07

  Little double back.

• 1:13:17Laci Mosley?

  Little double back. That's what it's giving. It's giving like, you know what Zazla been doing? Shooting movies, spending all the money, and then be like, we not gonna release the movie. We got a tax write-off in it. It was definitely gonna make five times what we tried it for.

• 1:13:31Speaker 07

  Lacey, do you understand how wild it is that Wile E. Coyote versus Acme is about a little person being taken advantage of by a big company? And then the people who made the movie got taken advantage of by a big company? And that, it's crazy. That's crazy.

• 1:13:47Laci Mosley?

  He was fighting for his life.

• 1:13:48Speaker 07

  That's wild. So yes, I'm with you.

• 1:13:51Laci Mosley?

  Wile E. Coyote.

• 1:13:52Speaker 07

  Wile E. Coyote, me meep. See?

• 1:13:54Laci Mosley?

  They me meeped him.

• 1:13:55Speaker 07

  Oh, they me meeped. They painted a tunnel on a wall.

• 1:14:00Laci Mosley?

  But it was AMC Theater.

• 1:14:02Speaker 07

  They went running. We going to the movies?

• 1:14:05Laci Mosley?

  Right. Boom. No, we was never going to the movies, babes. This is a tax write-off. Welcome to capitalism. Me meep.

• 1:14:14Speaker 07

  Simone, while we did... Lacey just blew your scam up. I didn't. Lacey just blew your scam up.

• 1:14:21Laci Mosley?

  Stop trying to put everything on me.

• 1:14:22Speaker 07

  Lacey blew your scam up.

• 1:14:23Laci Mosley?

  I need plausible deniability.

• 1:14:24Speaker 07

  I... I don't know what happened to the film. I don't know what happened. You know what I think? I think whoever wants to get this movie made, they gonna have to have some real fortitude. Wait, fortitude? Maybe in theaters? Question mark.

• 1:14:42Speaker 07

  Fortitude. Starring Nicolas Cage. Fortitude.

• 1:14:50Laci Mosley?

  Well, that brings us to the end of a fantastic episode. Jay, we always ask on this podcast, where would you like to be found? Anything you want to plug, promote?

• 1:14:57Speaker 07

  Yes, you can watch my special, Yes, Ma'am, currently on Hulu. I'm also on tour. You can see me coming to your city. I'm going to Chicago. I'm coming back to Los Angeles, October 30th, to do my hour. I'll be all over the place. I mean, I'm all over the place right now. I'm shooting at Comedy Central, like, taping today. So that's fun. That'll be fun. I'm gonna say some crazy stuff about them, to their face.

• 1:15:22Laci Mosley?

  As you should.

• 1:15:23Speaker 07

  So just follow me online, get through all the thirst traps.

• 1:15:28Laci Mosley?

  There's a lot thirst for them, though.

• 1:15:29Speaker 07

  I put up one today. It's not why I was late for this. I posted that while I was in the car on the way here. Because I know sometimes people be like, Jay, let me look at the timestamp on this. I clicked send in the car. I didn't... It's not why I was late. I had my clothes on. I was ready.

• 1:15:45Laci Mosley?

  The more you speak, the less I believe.

• 1:15:47Speaker 07

  No, that's not why I was late. I was late, but I wasn't late. Do you see what I'm saying?

• 1:15:52Laci Mosley?

  He also moved this show up.

• 1:15:54Speaker 07

  I moved it up, but then I came down.

• 1:15:55Laci Mosley?

  It was late.

• 1:15:56Speaker 07

  I was trying to meet you halfway down at the borderline, where I'm gonna wait for you.

• 1:16:00Laci Mosley?

  I'm not even... I'm not even gonna stand looking down. Night and day.

• 1:16:05Laci Mosley?

  I told him, this is where I stay.

• 1:16:11Speaker 07

  I can't get any further.

• 1:16:14Laci Mosley?

  Further than this.

• 1:16:14Speaker 07

  Than this.

• 1:16:17Laci Mosley?

  I want you so bad, it's my only wish.

• 1:16:20Speaker 07

  Stacy Ferguson, Stacy Ferguson.

• 1:16:22Laci Mosley?

  Period.

• 1:16:27Laci Mosley?

  Oh, my God. When she started doing that flips, I was like, yeah, she on drugs. But honestly, also, I'm so extra. I love to do a split. I love to do a flip. So I honestly resonated with her when she was in... Like, I don't know. And her national anthem is right up there with Whitney Houston for me.

• 1:16:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:16:46Laci Mosley?

  For different reasons.

• 1:16:46Speaker 07

  You wanna know why? Guess what?

• 1:16:48Laci Mosley?

  Whitney's is like, conning down, and so is Fergie's.

• 1:16:53Speaker 07

  Sometimes, sometimes you gotta make a song your own.

• 1:16:57Laci Mosley?

  She made it all her own.

• 1:16:58Speaker 07

  How you gonna make a song your own? You don't take no strong choices. Some of y'all ain't never did nothing. Y'all never taken a risk.

• 1:17:03Laci Mosley?

  Enough. Y'all ain't never had a...

• 1:17:06Speaker 07

  You know what they don't got, Lacey? You know what they don't got? They don't got no fortitude. You don't got no fortitude.

• 1:17:12Laci Mosley?

  In congratulation with that, you can follow Scam Goddess Pod on all platforms. You can watch us on YouTube for the full-length episode. You can also get my book, Scam Goddess, wherever books are sold or listened to. You can watch the TV show Scam Goddess on Hulu. You can watch me on Going Dutch. You can watch me on movies on Netflix and shit. Watch me wherever. But one thing you need to do is give me five stars on whatever app that you're using. That's a free way for you to support black people and thus also supporting social justice, because I do that as well, and everyone. And then you can talk about it at dinner parties. Yes, we're on the same page. Love that. Congregation, stay fortified. Scam.

• 1:17:58Speaker 03

  Hola a todos. Soy Jamie Lynn Sigler. Cuando me diagnosticaron, tenía veintitantos años, y todo mi mundo cambió por completo. Pero con el tiempo decidí que no iba a permitir que eso frenara mi vida. Quise tomar las riendas. Y después de hablar con mi médico sobre mis opciones, la elección para mí fue obvia. Boom, eso es KISSIMTA. Obtenga más información sobre KISSIMTA off of Tumamap en kissimta.com.

• 1:18:28Speaker 00

  Okay, laundry stinks, literally. I mean, you could just keep buying new underwear. Not that I've ever done that. Or maybe sort your clothes into piles based on how re-wearable or filthy they are? Or just use Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. It's made for real-life stinks and stains. So even if you don't do laundry the, quote, "right way," Deep Clean will knock it out. I mean, it is from the number-one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other. Come clean with Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. Number-one claim based on total wash loads sold.

• 1:19:04Speaker 04

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• 1:19:35Speaker 00

  Latte for Keenan?

• 1:19:37Speaker 02

  That's me.

• 1:19:38Speaker 00

  Hey, you're...

• 1:19:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:19:39Speaker 00

  Buying a car online on Autotrader?

• 1:19:41Speaker 02

  Really? But unlike other sites, you could start online, test drive with a local dealer, then finish online or at the dealership.

• 1:19:48Speaker 00

  Really? Wait, are you...

• 1:19:50Speaker 02

  Yep, it's Keenan.

• 1:19:51Speaker 00

  Able to finish in person without starting the process over?

• 1:19:53Speaker 02

  Really? Your info stays with you every step of the way.

• 1:19:56Speaker 00

  Cool. Enjoy.

• 1:19:58Speaker 02

  It's Keenan Thompson. Buy your car online on Autotrader. Really?

• 1:20:04Laci Mosley?

  This is Ashley Canetti from the Ben & Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast. You know that feeling when your skin just needs a tall drink of water? That's what Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour Moisturizer is for. Moisture Surge 100-Hour Moisturizer absorbs instantly and hydrates for 100 hours for plump, glowing skin. That's right, 100 hours. It's a lightweight, oil-free gel cream, safe for sensitive skin. It's allergy-tested and fragrance-free. So try Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour today at clinique.com. Feels like moisture surge.