Denver’s a Mess! Plus, Live at the Masters With the Simmons Crew

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is in Augusta, Georgia, and he is joined by Joe House to discuss the Nuggets’ shocking decision to fire longtime head coach Michael Malone and general manager Calvin Booth with a week left in the regular season (2:16). Next, Cousin Sal joins Bill and House to peruse some NBA playoff and NFL draft odds (23:51). Then, Bill, House, Sal, Nathan Hubbard, Dave Chang, and James "Baby Doll" Dixon do a quick 2025 Masters draft (57:14) before discussing walking Augusta National Golf Course and more stories from the week so far (01:09:16). Host: Bill Simmons Guests: Joe House, Cousin Sal, Dave Chang, Nathan Hubbard, and James "Baby Doll" Dixon Producers: Kyle Crichton, Chia Hao Tat, and Eduardo Ocampo Presented by the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada. Learn more at https://www.nissanusa.com/vehicles/crossovers-suvs/armada/html The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bill Simmons?

  You're listening to the Bill Simmons Podcast presented by FanDuel. FanDuel Sportsbook is the best place to bet on the NBA. We have these fun little Tuesday, Friday player performance stuff. We have same game parlays. We have picks for me sometimes and boosts and all kinds of fun things. Get ready in the playoffs. Download the FanDuel Sportsbook app today to get in on the action. And by the way, The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit theringer.com/rg to learn more. Listen to the end of this episode for additional details. Must be 21 plus, president of select states. Game and problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Coming up, all hell breaks loose in Denver. I'm at the Masters. This podcast is nuts. It's next. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. It's football season.

• 0:44Bill Simmons?

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• 1:29Bill Simmons?

  See app for details. We're also brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network. If you liked White Lotus, go check out Prestige TV. Go check out the watch because we covered everything that happened in the season finale. I put up a new rewatchables, The Saint, that went up over the weekend because Val Kilmer passed away. So we want to pay homage to him.

• 1:51Bill Simmons?

  I am at the Masters right now. I have a bunch of people we did not expect when we were walking off the course and got our phones back today that Denver had cleaned house. So I'm going to talk about that at the top with Joe House. We're going to talk NBA. We're going to talk Western Finals odds and a whole bunch of stuff with Sal and House. And then we did a bunch of Masters stuff. We created a little draft that you can bet on on FanDuel Sportsbook. And a whole bunch of other fun props, bets, and then last but not least, James Babydoll Dixon, he comes in. We've talked about him on the podcast a bunch and, and we talked to him and Chang and Sal about Augusta and smoking and some of the stuff that

• 2:34Bill Simmons?

  makes Augusta what it is. So that is all coming up. First, our friends from Pearl Jam.

• 3:07Bill Simmons?

  All right, we're recording this on Tuesday, early evening in Augusta, Georgia, East Coast time. We're here for the Masters. We brought a whole crew, including Nathan Hubbard, your fairway rolling partner, Cousin Sal, he's going to be joining us later, David Chang, Babydoll James Dixon, who's still talking, you can't hear him. But we're going to do a bunch of segments for this pod. We did not expect what happened when we left the Masters, because when you leave the Masters, you have to give your phone, you're not allowed to have your phone on the course. We didn't have our phone for six hours. So literally, anything can happen. And we're thinking, we leave the course, and we're going to find out the market has dropped like 150 points.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Just another day that ends in Y.

• 3:49Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, some sort of, some sort of bad tariff news. And instead, all these texts about, oh, my God, Nuggets, can you believe Denver? And they fired their coach and their GM. And we're going to be one of many podcasts who talks about this tonight. But a true stunner, I don't remember, I have a bunch of thoughts on this, but to fire your coach and GM with a week to go in the season, when you have a chance to be like a top four playoff seed? This is like the NBA we grew up with. The NBA is like, like going nuts again.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Well, I mean. It is and it isn't like there is no precedent for teams firing their like we have it now in 10 days, two playoff teams with legit aspirations for getting to the Western Conference Finals, firing their head coach and Denver.

• 4:37Bill Simmons?

  Memphis, Memphis being the other one.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, Denver went a whole step further. They're like, we don't like the internal turmoil of this identity crisis fight that we've been having for what feels like to me 18 months now, at least between Calvin Booth and his instinct to try and build a team with young guys and Mike Malone, who has in front of him, most of the pieces of guys that won an NBA championship a couple of years ago. Right. And this tension has been affecting this team for two years now.

• 5:10Bill Simmons?

  Well, but think back to the 80s, though. I remember, didn't Larry Brown, like he was coaching the Nets and he just left for Kansas City with or for Kansas University with like two weeks ago in the season, they fired him. It was the kind of thing that would happen all the time with the league we loved and the league, even though it still has your Sacramento's and these, but now I feel like here's my theory. I'm going to throw this to you.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  I'm listening.

• 5:34Bill Simmons?

  The league is so deep now and there's so much talent. It ties into something we talked about when we did the over under pods with Priscilla. It's like, shit, there's going to be some unhappy teams, teams that thought they were going to be really good, teams that have max guys, teams that have this model that used to work of we have three stars, we have two really good stars and they're going to be like two games under 500 in February, wondering what that'll happen. And I'm looking at the West because the West is a way deeper conference than the East. The East is more like a traditional, you have the really good teams, you have some good playoff teams, some mediocre teams and then crappy teams, right? That's the model we're used to. The West, like everybody's talented and everybody thought they were going to be in the mix. So look at all the teams that were unhappy

• 6:19Bill Simmons?

  just this season. Dallas traded their best player, one of the five best guys in the league. They just said, fuck it. We don't like where this is going. They trade him. The Lakers were unhappy too. There was, they were trying to do all kinds of stuff midseason. They make a trade. Memphis fires their coach. Denver just fired their coach and GM. Sacramento fired their coach, traded their best player. Phoenix tried to trade everybody on their team but Devin Booker for four months. They fired their coach last year. They're probably firing him again. That's six teams in the West House.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  Well, you left out Golden State.

• 6:55Bill Simmons?

  And Golden State.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Who knew that they needed another piece and went and paid, you know, a high price.

• 7:00Bill Simmons?

  Jimmy Butler. Yeah, that's, but at least that's not like.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:04Bill Simmons?

  All right. That's not a hail Mary. This Denver thing is a hail Mary. This is.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  It's a what the hell is going on to me?

• 7:11Bill Simmons?

  But this is, we're going to the playoffs and we're going to get smoked and everybody wants to play us. And we're in a situation where in Saturday, Sunday, teams might be tanking to try to get a matchup against us. That's the level Denver was at with the way they were playing lately.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  That's true. So what does firing the coach and GM have to do with the performance on the floor?

• 7:30Bill Simmons?

  All right. It's a good question. I'm going to try to answer it.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Good.

• 7:34Bill Simmons?

  I think they thought their season was shot. I think they decided.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  I think they're right.

• 7:38Bill Simmons?

  This coach GM situation, they were going to get rid of both of them. They, Josh Cronkite basically said that in the press conference, like we're going to do something after the season. Why not now? Why not see if we can save it?

• 7:51Bill Simmons?

  This is a hail Mary.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  Well, what, again, let's do it precedent wise. Point to a team.

• 7:57Bill Simmons?

  That's done this with a week to go?

• 7:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. In the last 30 years.

• 8:01Bill Simmons?

  A team that's had Jokic as, as their best player during like this half decade he's having. That's one of the great half decades anyone's had offensively in the history of the league.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  So I don't.

• 8:12Bill Simmons?

  And they have one title to show for it.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  I don't begrudge the instinct of wanting to do something to change the trajectory. But the problem is it's the players. They're not good enough. They don't have a team that's good enough to compete to your observation earlier.

• 8:30Bill Simmons?

  Their top five is good enough.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  They don't play defense. They haven't played defense in two months. That's why they have a losing record over their last 25, 30 games. It's why they have a, they're five and nine over their last 14 games. Their last three games of the season.

• 8:46Bill Simmons?

  Are they five and nine over the last 14?

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:48Bill Simmons?

  I saw they're 12 and 13 last 25.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, they don't play defense.

• 8:52Bill Simmons?

  19th net rating, 22nd defensive rating in their last 25 games. And we like looking at the net rating stuff. It's a nice little snapshot.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:02Bill Simmons?

  You know, sometimes you can overreact to it one way or the other. Sometimes you have teams that are in the vicinity of where their playoff spot's going to be. Maybe they cool the jets a little bit. Other times, it's a real sign either something's going really wrong or really right. Like with the Clippers with Kawhi back, all their net rating stuff is really good here for two solid months now. And it's like, let's take this team seriously. Detroit, who I think's going to be a six seed, I'm not taking them 100% seriously, but the math is the math and the math says they're a pretty good team. Denver, the math said this team can't guard anybody. The on off stats with Jokic, which I mentioned Sunday with Rusillo, and are the case if you're going to talk MVP for him, which I think, I think today probably hurt

• 9:46Bill Simmons?

  that cause a little bit. But the on off for him where they were the best offense in NBA history when he, when he's on the court and they're 30th in the NBA when he's off the court. That's all you need to know. And there's never been a disparity like that in the history of basketball.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  That tells you, it's all that you need to know about the, the team building effort. And look, I, I think this is.

• 10:09Bill Simmons?

  Well, when you say team building though, do you blame Mike Malone at all? Or, because you and I both watch a lot of Denver.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  I don't blame him one bit. No. I mean, when you have the best player on earth and you have most of the nucleus of a title winning team.

• 10:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Then the appropriate thing to do is try and in the first place defend that title. And then in the second place, try and win as many as you can while you have the best player in the world, playing at the level that he's playing at. That seems like the right kind of decision. And I think that head coach, you know, built a game plan for. The season, these last two seasons around the that that thesis around the idea of we should try really hard when we have this guy to be as good as we can in this moment. They just it. I do think that this new collective bargaining agreement is a real culprit is a real.

• 10:59Bill Simmons?

  The apron stuff. Yeah. Cause they were. So they were like five million under the second apron. But next year they were going to get killed by the apron. And I think they seem really scared of it. And you know, there's some real money stuff with this team that has to be mentioned. I think around the league, if you talk to people who know shit or who have a vested interest in it. They're like, thank God Denver's not spending more money. They have this incredible asset and they seem pretty good being middle of the road. It's the same thing people felt about the New England Patriots during the last 10 years of Tom Brady. I mean, God, they're not spending more than they are. Then you look at the Philadelphia Eagles in your division and they're super aggressive and they're like trying to maximize the moment. I think that's what most fans want. I would not say Denver's doing that.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  I don't, I wouldn't call Denver middle of the road. I wouldn't characterize.

• 11:48Bill Simmons?

  I'd say middle of the road. They have the, they have the best player in the league and they're not even a second apron team.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Well, they're going to be middle of the road this season. They were not middle. They, they went for it last season and I think they paid the price. I think that they flamed out the way they did because they, they saw the one seed as a viable possibility. They played balls to the wall at the end of the regular season and it took a toll on them because Minnesota ran them out the gym.

• 12:13Bill Simmons?

  I have a couple of other theories in this. Um, the play in, I think puts a crazy amount of pressure on these teams. Not only do you not want to be in the play in, you're in a situation where you could just lose two playing games and then you're not even in the playoffs, which was a real thing for Denver, right?

• 12:27Speaker 01

  True story.

• 12:27Bill Simmons?

  So this is why it's, it's not a panic move, but it's a total panic move where you're like five days left. Everybody wants to play us. Our defense is in shambles. We lost a catastrophic game in overtime to Minnesota that really feels like that tilted their season in all these different ways. Like does Malone still have a job if they win that game? Maybe.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Well, they didn't play two of their guys that game, right? I mean.

• 12:52Bill Simmons?

  I know, but it was just how they lost and how bad Westbrook was.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  It was.

• 12:56Bill Simmons?

  And how great Jokic was.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  It was agonizing.

• 12:59Bill Simmons?

  So you have that piece.

• 13:02Bill Simmons?

  You know, a lot of times when we're hinting at stuff and pods and we're talking about stuff and we're talking about scuttlebutt around the league and people go, where's that coming from? And shit gets aggregated, but it always seemed hazy. This Booth Malone thing, I mean, I talked about it. Everybody who's had a podcast has alluded to or talked about it. I almost, and I really regret I didn't do it. I had, you know, you have the tweet lined up and you have the draft. There was something Malone got something for, like, he won the most games in Nuggets history. There was some sort of ceremony and it was like a short video and it was Calvin Booth giving him something. And I had this really sarcastic tweet and it was like, rare footage of Calvin Booth and Mike

• 13:45Bill Simmons?

  Malone interacting. And I was ready to tweet it out and I was like, you know what? That's not worth it. That's going to become a thing. People will be mad. And I was just like, I didn't do it. But that's how bad it was. I had this tweet lined up, like, because just that they interacted seemed like it was an amazing event.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  I don't like that whole kind of storyline and that dynamic because at the end of the day-

• 14:11Bill Simmons?

  Which part? The media part of it or the Coach GM part?

• 14:13Speaker 01

  The Coach GM part. The media part of it is perfectly fine, of course.

• 14:17Bill Simmons?

  Well, you know, we're getting the now they tell us piece. TM Brian Curtis. You know, that's coming.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  It was an open secret. Like, you know,

• 14:24Bill Simmons?

  Ramona kind of wrote it in the beginning of season. I think Zach, if Zach had been writing for ESPN, I think Zach would have had something pretty major at some point.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Matt Moore at the Action Network, who's a, you know, does a pod on Denver, has been talking about it. It's not a secret of that.

• 14:42Bill Simmons?

  No, all the Denver fans.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Internal tension. They've been observing it. But really,

• 14:45Bill Simmons?

  It's more than tension. They didn't fucking talk.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  I don't like it because that's on Cronkite. That's on Josh Cronkite. They're like, you, somebody needs to be the boss.

• 14:54Bill Simmons?

  Well, at least he owned it today.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  The boss is the boss, right? You see guys not getting along. You need to sit in a room and reconcile whatever the differences are because again, you have the best effing player on the planet on your team playing at his absolute best. So the thing to do is try and capitalize on that. That would be my instinct. So how can everybody get along?

• 15:18Bill Simmons?

  Zeke Najee extension? Reggie Jackson.

• 15:22Speaker 01

  Peyton Watson, who could be something eventually, maybe someday.

• 15:26Bill Simmons?

  There's some really bad team building. We knew there might be signs of trouble. Kevin O'Connor, when he was writing for The Ringer, did that big piece about the Nuggets and their team building. And Calvin Booth gave all these secrets in the piece.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:39Bill Simmons?

  Which is like GM 101, don't do that. If you're doing stuff that's working, don't talk about it. What is the upside? What's the upside of here? Let me tell this reporter, all of these things we're doing that we think are cutting edge. How are you winning with that? Now you're just giving your secrets to the other 29 teams in the league.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  Again.

• 15:57Bill Simmons?

  And he does this whole link thing and it was just weird because it felt credit grabby. And anytime something's credit grabby.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 16:05Bill Simmons?

  You know, like, well, why is this guy doing? Obviously, he had a thing with Malone and it was already there jacking.

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Where's the boss? When that story came out on The Ringer, which is what, 18 months ago, 16 months ago?

• 16:17Bill Simmons?

  Remember he tried to disown it after? He was like, I don't know. I thought I was off the record.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 16:22Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  It was ludicrous stuff.

• 16:23Bill Simmons?

  Fucking bullshit because KOC did a good job with that story. Anyway, so this thing was a problem all year. I think it affected the team and then they finally acted. I'm gonna throw this at you. The great NBA asset wastes.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 16:40Bill Simmons?

  So remember when we were kids and Kareem was just on shitty teams for like seven years?

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 16:45Bill Simmons?

  He was on the Bucks forever. They had nobody, like basically Bobby Dandridge and that was it. Oscar was washed up and they were, he was still great. And then finally he's like, I'm going L.A. Goes to the Lakers, but they trade a lot to get him. Then the Kermit Washington fight happens and it's just, it felt like there were seven years there where it's like, Jesus, is Kareem? He's the best player in the league. Is he gonna be on a really good team? Then Magic shows up and the rest is history. But there's been some good ones over the years, like even LeBron in the mid 2000s on those Cleveland teams. I was like, oh, man, they're trading for Ben Wallace now. Ah, oh, they're paying that much for Antoine Jameson? Kobe mid 2000s, partly his fault because his check out. T Mac for basically the entire 2000s.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  That makes me sad.

• 17:30Bill Simmons?

  That was a good one. Moses, when we were kids on the Rockets.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  T Mac could have, but Yao broke down on him.

• 17:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Yao broke down, but T Mac for all that Orlando run when Grant Hill was hurt.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  Makes me sad. Yeah.

• 17:42Bill Simmons?

  And I don't think this Jokic thing is as bad because Gordon's obviously really good. Christian Brown's been good. Murray, when he's healthy is good.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Turned out to be good.

• 17:50Bill Simmons?

  Porter's a good three point shooter. It's not, it's not that bad, but at the same time.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Their entire.

• 17:55Bill Simmons?

  It does hurt.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Their entire fate is tied to Jamal Murray's health. And we said this at the outset of the season, I know, I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I went under on them getting to 51 wins this, this season because.

• 18:09Bill Simmons?

  You went over on the Sixers.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  No, I'm just saying, we're talking about the Denver Nuggets.

• 18:13Bill Simmons?

  I didn't want you to applaud yourself because you did go.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:16Bill Simmons?

  By the way, I went, I went under on the Clippers and under on the Lakers.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Why are we going through this? Nobody cares. I, the observation I'm making is that the concern at the outset of the season for me was Jamal Murray. Do you trust that he's going to be able to play at the level that this team requires? Through the balance of a season for them to get into like the mid 50s and wins. And I didn't trust it at any time that he's not, he has been excellent. Jamal Murray for a good stretch and they were, they won eight games going into the All-Star break.

• 18:47Bill Simmons?

  It was like, welcome to the season, Jamal Murray.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you know, it was like, okay, so Denver's legit. So we love Denver at this level, playing at that, that, you know, and then Gordon went out with, with some injuries and Michael Porter Jr. Has been doing Michael Porter Jr. Stuff. And we have too much time and too many high leverage moments where the basketball finds its way into Russell Westbrook's hands.

• 19:09Bill Simmons?

  Well, he just shouldn't play in crunch time.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 19:11Bill Simmons?

  I almost don't blame Russell Westbrook.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  I don't either. I don't blame him.

• 19:14Bill Simmons?

  When my son leaves the pantry open and, and.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  The dog.

• 19:18Bill Simmons?

  My, my, my beloved dog Murph is just like, cool, I'm gonna eat all the potato chips. Is that Murph's fault or is that Ben's fault?

• 19:25Speaker 01

  That's right. That's right.

• 19:26Bill Simmons?

  Russ, sometimes in crunch time, he's just gonna eat all the potato chips. And it's like, you left the pantry open.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  He has to be on the floor doing that though, because they are trying to do this rotating rest thing.

• 19:36Bill Simmons?

  I get it.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  With their guys. I get it too. They're just not good enough.

• 19:39Bill Simmons?

  Here's, here's Russ's value. We're giving everyone the night off. Russ, can you do everything and try to keep us close for this game against Charlotte, who's tanking anyway?

• 19:48Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 19:49Bill Simmons?

  Can we bring in Conspiracy Bill for a second?

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm, I'm here. I'm listening.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  He turned his hat backwards.

• 19:57Bill Simmons?

  It's like an over the top slash conspiracy bill.

• 20:02Bill Simmons?

  I wonder if Jamal Murray's healthy.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 20:06Bill Simmons?

  And if they feel like they're got, team's going the wrong way in the playoffs and Jamal Murray is not 100% healthy and they lose, and then that becomes the excuse for why they fell apart down the stretch. And then it becomes harder to clean house and fire everybody. And now you just do it now. So there's no excuse. You 50 50, maybe he's going to be where he was in December for the playoffs, maybe not, but either way it's a clean, it's a reset button either way. It's just, listen, I'm not saying Conspiracy Bill, I'm still Conspiracy Bill.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  Here feels like.

• 20:41Bill Simmons?

  Hold on, I'm back, I'm out.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  That good. Thank you.

• 20:43Bill Simmons?

  Listen, Conspiracy Bill just came in. I'm not saying he's always right. Sometimes he's crazy, but something doesn't pass the sniff test about the timing with this.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  I don't, well, because it's ludicrous. The timing is ludicrous.

• 20:56Bill Simmons?

  The timing's ludicrous.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  There's nothing, I mean, Josh Crocker said four times, we're gonna see what we can squeeze, squeeze the juice. We're gonna see if we can squeeze some juice out of it. There ain't no juice, buddy. Your team ain't good enough.

• 21:06Bill Simmons?

  He needs to squeeze the PED juice out of it.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  He should be squeezing.

• 21:10Bill Simmons?

  PEDs all the way around.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  He needs to be squeezing the leadership juice. He should have squeezed, squoze, you know, before the season started and sat down. He needed, it needed to be squeezed before the season started. They needed to come up with a game plan and not have this internal turmoil.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  They got a best case scenario out of Christian Brown this, this, this season.

• 21:30Bill Simmons?

  They really did.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  A very good scenario.

• 21:33Bill Simmons?

  Dodging the KCP bullet.

• 21:35Speaker 01

  They got a very good scenario out of Jamal Murray, honestly.

• 21:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  It can mean considering his injury history. They pay, they have Matt, three max contract guys. They can't keep all three. They can't keep Aaron Gordon and Michael Porter Jr. And Jamal Murray and stay, you know, where they want to be.

• 21:52Bill Simmons?

  Junior Wizards? Flag?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, no.

• 21:57Bill Simmons?

  Flag star Porter?

• 21:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 21:58Bill Simmons?

  The new big three?

• 21:59Speaker 01

  No, no. I still wonder why would, didn't we hear more about them and with Miami? Why, why was Miami not interested?

• 22:07Bill Simmons?

  Miami wanted any part of Michael.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  It must be, it must be right.

• 22:09Bill Simmons?

  Would you trade it for Michael Porter Jr.?

• 22:13Bill Simmons?

  Would you want to pay him 40 million?

• 22:14Speaker 01

  He's redundant for that team anyway. He doesn't help them.

• 22:19Bill Simmons?

  We're gonna, we're gonna take a break and bring in Cousin Sal and we're gonna do the West. Where Denver fits in and whether we think there's any chance.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  Where Denver fits out.

• 22:31Bill Simmons?

  Or where Denver fits out.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 22:32Bill Simmons?

  Let's take a break and then Sal's gonna come in. Swing it to the biggest golf event of the year with FanDuel, where every putt and drive can bring you closer to victory. Or in my case, closer to all the putts and drives. Speaking of FanDuel, our friends over there have some amazing offers. For the first major this week at Augusta, check it out. All customers get from FanDuel a no sweat bet. On first round leaders. If your player isn't the leader after the first round, no sweat. You'll get bonus bets back to use on another bet. I like the Shamo to win first round. Bet it. Go grab the odds. If you don't, if you don't get it, no sweat. They're also giving everybody a profit boost to use on any Augusta bet every round. Boost your winnings on anything from outright winners to top 20s.

• 23:15Bill Simmons?

  And even if there will be a hole in one this week, don't forget to check out our Ringer specials on FanDuel Sportsbook as well. We made a bunch of, bunch of bets and props. FanDuel, your go-to for betting on Augusta. T off of the variety of bet types and live bet. Stuff as the tournament drama unfolds. So don't wait. Visit fanduel.com/BS to download FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook and swing for some green. Must be 21 plus and present in select states or 18 plus and present in DC. Opt-in required. Bonus issued as non-withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply, including any token expiration and max wager amount. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com.

• 23:57Bill Simmons?

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• 24:42Bill Simmons?

  All right, Cousin Sal is here, our friend. We walked the course today. We're going to talk about that later. The Masters. Your agent, James Baby Doll Dixon, is here.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  What a day. So much fun.

• 24:53Bill Simmons?

  We'll talk about that next segment. We're going to talk about the Denver Nuggets and the West and basketball and the NBA playoffs.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Can I just first thank you guys for giving me some winning futures at the beginning of the year? I heard you talk about how you bet your own futures and lost. Maybe you should come to me after your podcast so I could tell you who to bet. Houston makes the playoffs, yes. Pelicans, no playoffs, yes. Denver under wins, yes. Spurs under wins, yes. Suns overs a loss. Wizards under, yes.

• 25:24Bill Simmons?

  We did, we did above average on our locks. I'm really upset about how we handled the Pacific. The LA teams, Sacramento and Phoenix.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  The Lakers.

• 25:34Bill Simmons?

  Phoenix and the two LA teams ruined my over unders.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:38Bill Simmons?

  Anyway.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  They just went over, those twos went to crazy transformations. So it's not really.

• 25:44Bill Simmons?

  Anyway, uh, so the Denver Nuggets.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:47Bill Simmons?

  We have FanDuel, I introduce these to you. Kind of buried on the FanDuel Sportsbook NBA page where they have to advance each round. And I don't remember seeing those last year. I was incredibly fascinated by them. So round two, to make round two, that means you're winning in round one. And we're taping this before a couple of the Tuesday night games. There's going to be some standing shenanigans. We have five teams that have 32 losses. Denver's one of them who just fired their coach. G. Um.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Is Denver in a Post Malone, um, time period right now?

• 26:19Speaker 01

  This is good.

• 26:20Bill Simmons?

  Wow.

• 26:23Bill Simmons?

  Where's the drummer?

• 26:26Bill Simmons?

  OKC is minus 1300 to make round two house. And that jumped out to me immediately because what if they played Minnesota or the Clippers? I think OKC would beat either of those teams, but I don't think they're 13 to one favorites to beat the Clippers. If that was the series. Or Golden State. I don't know.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Because those guys, both the Clippers and Minnesota, super short prices as, as dogs. It must be that they think Memphis is going to be the eight because Memphis is plus 350.

• 26:57Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  And I honestly, that does make sense.

• 26:59Bill Simmons?

  I should have actually, I should have mentioned that too. So Clippers are plus 130 to make round two. Minnesota's plus 154 to make round two. Memphis is plus 350, but OKC is minus 1300. It feels like.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  Doesn't make sense.

• 27:13Bill Simmons?

  It doesn't make sense, right?

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Memphis is even the eight at plus 350. FanDuel screwed up. Thanks for sending us out here, but they screwed up. They're not smart.

• 27:20Bill Simmons?

  We love you FanDuel, but you didn't, you added something wrong here. And then the Lakers are minus 172, Golden State's minus 152, Denver's plus 106. And Houston is plus 114. Which was another one that jumped out to me because they're going to have, we know they had, we know they're the two seed. They're playing as well as they played all season. And it's 2-7 and I just think they're going to be favored. So if I get them at plus 114, that's great. But I think that whole list, what shocked you the most out of those 18? So.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  I mean, that's weird. Now that you bring it up, if Houston is going to be a two seed as an underdog, right? If you're guaranteed, they're not guaranteed, but looking good, two seed. Has that happened in a while where two seeds and underdog? I mean, that jumped out.

• 28:05Bill Simmons?

  Every once in a while, they're like Memphis had that year where they were the two seed, but nobody believed in it and there was good value in them.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Let's price it cuz because let's say it's Houston against Minnesota.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Right?

• 28:17Speaker 01

  They won't be an underdog to Minnesota. It'll be like very close to even odds. Don't you think? They'll be a tiny favorite.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Because they're home. They'll have one.

• 28:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Yeah. So right now Minnesota's seven and Memphis is eight. And Houston's two. Arg could be playing one of those. Golden State has two easy games, the next two.

• 28:35Speaker 02

  It's bizarre.

• 28:35Bill Simmons?

  Denver just fired their coach. They've lost four in a row and they're going to be playing the Kings, the Grizzlies at home, and then at Houston in the last game of the season, which Houston might not care about because they'll have the two seed locked up. So I don't know. I think Minnesota versus Houston, just fundamentally, if that's a 2-7 series house, where would your money be in that series?

• 29:02Speaker 01

  I'm definitely betting on Minnesota. There's no other ways about it.

• 29:05Bill Simmons?

  That's how I feel about it too.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  I guarantee you.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Because they've screwed us enough. We have this big parlay that needs Minnesota to run the table losing wise to pay off. And it actually might be over by now because it's Tuesday night. Yeah. Yeah. So we just want to figure out how much we want our teeth kicked in by Minnesota this year.

• 29:22Bill Simmons?

  What would you set that line at? Minnesota?

• 29:24Speaker 02

  I think your house is right. Like Houston, only because they're home with home.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  But it'd be tiny.

• 29:29Speaker 02

  Minus 125 or something.

• 29:30Bill Simmons?

  So maybe that that explains these prices. I guess the problem for Fanduel and just trying to set these prices in general is if you have one upset.

• 29:40Bill Simmons?

  One, anything happening.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:42Bill Simmons?

  You don't want to. Now, all of a sudden, I have Denver plus 106, but all of a sudden they're in the seventh spot playing Houston. And maybe they'd be favored in that series because of Jokic.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  That's a great question. Who would, who would you have favored in Denver Houston?

• 29:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So now you're talking. I think Houston's good. I'd be, I'd be a little, I'd bet Minnesota, but I don't think I'd put a lot of money on that one.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  I saw too many games with Houston where from the eight minute mark in the fourth quarter to the end of the game, they turn flaccid.

• 30:14Bill Simmons?

  Did you see anything what?

• 30:16Speaker 02

  They turned limp.

• 30:17Bill Simmons?

  Did you see anything of what Amen Thompson did to Curry in that game though?

• 30:20Speaker 02

  It was awesome. Absolutely.

• 30:21Bill Simmons?

  I thought that was, he just took out, now Curry, the problem with Golden State and why they're going to be so hard to figure out is they're an older team.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:29Bill Simmons?

  Their best three guys are either old or getting old. And they have a situation like they played two really hard Thursday, Friday games, and then they play Sunday against that young, big, powerful Rockets team, and they just looked old.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:44Bill Simmons?

  But at the same time, I thought the Rockets, they beat OKC and Golden State in the same weekend. That's not nothing.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  They're good.

• 30:50Bill Simmons?

  With nothing to play for. And they talk a bunch of shit.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  They're good. I like it.

• 30:53Bill Simmons?

  He was talking shit to Steph.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  I mean, this just shows me that Fandel hates Houston to make them a plus number as a two seed, most likely. And then we don't have to go on to the next round, but to make the West Finals at plus 470, playing the four or five seed, right?

• 31:11Bill Simmons?

  So Houston.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, the, the, the 360.

• 31:14Bill Simmons?

  And my, I should have flagged this for you. Houston was plus 790 like five days ago to make the Western Finals.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Really?

• 31:21Bill Simmons?

  As a two seed, they were basically getting eight to one odds. And if you just price that out, they're going to be the favorites or close in both series, right? Houston's plus 470 now.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  That's even high.

• 31:34Bill Simmons?

  Looking at the odds, the, the shocking thing to me is how much respect they give the Lakers. And how afraid, and I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying the Lakers are being treated almost like they're a defending champ type situation. They're minus 172 to win a round. They're plus 168 to win two rounds. And there's a chance they might, you know, maybe they don't even have home court in round two, right? Potentially, they couldn't, but it just seems like a lot of people.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  That might be respect. That might be different from you. There just might be a lot of tickets on the Lakers. Like, right after that Luca trade, everyone must have just dialed into them and bet them the win. So there's a lot of liability there. But, but I do think for the West Finals, all right, OKC minus 290, throw that out of there. If you think Denver's done, you got a nice opportunity to make some money here, picking either the Lakers or Golden State or the Clippers.

• 32:31Bill Simmons?

  Well, the problem is if Denver drops to seven out of nowhere, and it's Houston versus Denver in a 2-7. I think, looking at the odds, the best odds to me seem to be Minnesota to make the West Finals. I think the odds have adjusted correctly, but Minnesota basically 7-1 to make the West Finals to win two rounds.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  I'm gonna, we need to take a break for this podcast so I can go. I'll be right back.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Oh, to make your thing.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  I gotta go pick a bet.

• 32:55Speaker 02

  I thought it was a bathroom thing.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  It could be both. I could do it in the bathroom. We did eat a lot of pizza today, cuz.

• 33:00Bill Simmons?

  I really wanted the Clips to have better odds, cuz I thought maybe they would be the sleeper pick. But plus 420 to win two rounds isn't, there's no value at all. And there might be underdogs both rounds. That doesn't make sense. And if you really wanted to get nuts, do Memphis plus 1550 to win two rounds. That's insane. But there's a chance they could get the seven seed and be in the 2-7, right?

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Memphis Houston, that Memphis Houston would be awesome. That would be an awesome series.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  That's two series at plus 450 and plus 300. Would that be what they are in the first two series? So that's basically what 1550 is.

• 33:41Bill Simmons?

  So, House, for that first round, the advanced to round two, if somehow the Clippers are the eight seed and OKC's the one seed.

• 33:53Bill Simmons?

  And you have OKC at minus 1300 to advance to round two, I would be fucking nervous with that one.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  I agree with that.

• 33:59Bill Simmons?

  I think, I don't think the Clips can beat OKC, but I think they can make you nervous if you have a lot of OKC money, right?

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Absolutely, positively. I want no part of that. If Kawhi, it seems like we're gonna, I want us to knock on wood. There's some wood in this house, some fine marble I see, but I'm gonna knock on some wood because we want Kawhi healthy for the first round. I don't think they're gonna drop though. The Clippers are playing too, too well and their last three games are, are reasonable for them.

• 34:27Bill Simmons?

  So here's the real value, so, to make the finals. This is three rounds. OKC's minus 145. Lakers plus 650. I just don't think that's, they're gonna be underdogs in two of those. It's, you have to win three rounds.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  This is to win the Western Conference, that's the bet.

• 34:44Bill Simmons?

  You have to, Lakers plus 650, Golden State 7-1, Denver 10-1, Clips 16-1, Minnesota 21-1, Houston 24-1.

• 34:55Bill Simmons?

  And Memphis 70-1. So the case for Golden State or the Lakers is this, other than that they have famous players and a good infrastructure and all that stuff. What does your record have to be? What's the worst possible record you could have to make the Western Finals? Little math question for you guys.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  I mean, including the playoff, like all that?

• 35:14Bill Simmons?

  First three rounds, what's the worst record you could have and still make the finals?

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Four, three, four, three, five.

• 35:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:21Bill Simmons?

  Twelve, nine?

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Twelve and nine.

• 35:22Bill Simmons?

  Twelve, twelve and eight? Twelve and nine.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So if you think of it that way, it's like, could a team with Luca and LeBron go 12 and 9 over 21 games? It's like, yeah, that seems realistic. Could Golden State, could Golden State go 12 and 9 for three rounds? And it's like, yeah, they're gonna have a game like they had Sunday where they look old, Steph has three points. You know, even think of like when they played Memphis a couple of years ago in 22.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:48Bill Simmons?

  And they got blown out in game five and then they just won in game six. When you think about 12 and 9, it's just not that hard.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  I like the way you're going with it.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  It's because we usually look at this at this point of year, like, all right, who's the toughest out? Who's the toughest to beat four times? If you do it that way, 12 and 9 is doable.

• 36:07Bill Simmons?

  Well, think about the Lakers, like 12 and 9. Let's say there's three incredible Luka games. There's three. Let's give LeBron two incredible LeBron games. All right, now I have five.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Right.

• 36:19Bill Simmons?

  Let's give Reeves one awesome game.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 36:23Bill Simmons?

  Where they win just because Reeves is great. And now I have six of the 12. All right, now let's have a LeBron and Luka are awesome in the same game game. There's two more. You can get to 12 pretty easily.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  I think you're right. I think those odds are in flip. It's weird because we, we just said a lot of people might have Lakers tickets. But when we talk about the toughest out, Oklahoma City is the toughest to beat four times, probably, but not six times as tough as the Lakers to beat four times.

• 36:47Bill Simmons?

  Well, so here's the case for OKC.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:50Bill Simmons?

  They're gonna finish the season 68 and 14, 67 and 15, and then it becomes math.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 36:56Bill Simmons?

  So over six months, they lost 14 times.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:01Bill Simmons?

  And now we're gonna get to the playoffs and they're gonna lose nine times in 21 games.

• 37:05Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:05Bill Simmons?

  That's where it gets stupid. This was the case for the Celtics last year. At some point, the math takes over.

• 37:12Bill Simmons?

  But OKC did get their ass kicked the other night against, the other day against the Lakers. And it's like, why did they get their ass kicked? Were they showing anything? Are they just, did they cough the dogs or did this actually mean something?

• 37:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:24Bill Simmons?

  I don't know.

• 37:26Bill Simmons?

  Houston seems to be, I would say, most disrespected.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:31Bill Simmons?

  In the West.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  I think it's appropriate. I think it's fine.

• 37:33Bill Simmons?

  They're gonna be the two seed.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 37:35Bill Simmons?

  And they're gonna have home court in the first two rounds.

• 37:37Speaker 02

  True story.

• 37:39Bill Simmons?

  24 to one is, is a good price.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  The two seed getting the seventh best seed, uh, odds is remarkable. It doesn't make any sense. 24 to one. Yeah. Yeah, for all three of those categories, Houston's getting ripped.

• 37:55Bill Simmons?

  All right, Sal, a couple of other things for you.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:58Bill Simmons?

  Who do you want Dallas to take with the 12th pick in the draft?

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I want a lineman. I know there's like two. It's just crazy. I know we're gonna screw this up.

• 38:06Speaker 01

  We're doing football now.

• 38:07Speaker 02

  I know, I kinda love it.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  Fun.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  They're talking about the Arizona receiver or talking about, like, this is a team that needs everything in my head. Like, everybody who roots for their team, like, oh, we need like eight positions, not you, House. You free agent in every way you're waiting.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  No, we need.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  The playoffs again.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Eight defensive positions.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Give us a lineman. I don't know exactly which one is gonna drop to us because, uh, you know, we lost one of the best in the game.

• 38:31Bill Simmons?

  So I was looking at the draft odds. Sadly, it seems like the draft has shook out in a way that's not great for the New England Patriots. Where Cam Ward's one.

• 38:42Bill Simmons?

  Seems like Hunter's gonna be two. He's minus 280 now to go to Cleveland.

• 38:48Bill Simmons?

  And then Carter is now minus 170 on FanDuel to be the third pick.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  Oh, you were really hoping for Shador to sneak in there.

• 38:54Bill Simmons?

  And I don't think it's happening. And Sanders, he's four to one to go third. He's 17 to one to go second, and I think the odds are probably better that he's gonna fall.

• 39:06Bill Simmons?

  There's a team to draft Shador Sanders. Odds that I thought was pretty fun because you can really take it. I mean, Dallas is 26 to one, Sal.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  You could take a couple of these. This is like a nice roulette thing, right? We put money on a few numbers. I never get it right, though.

• 39:24Bill Simmons?

  Well, if people are right, and, and I think it feels like as somebody who's watched a lot of this draft stuff, and a couple of people have kind of like, eh, I'm not sure. He might be closer to Andy Dalton than people realize. But nobody really wants to come out and say, I don't think he's a top five pick.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:42Bill Simmons?

  He's not good enough. Nobody has come out strongly, but I think that's coming. And if he does the Aaron Rodgers slide into the late part of round one.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  Right.

• 39:52Bill Simmons?

  And we start going into like,

• 39:56Bill Simmons?

  I don't know.

• 40:01Bill Simmons?

  Miami range, 27 to one.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Sure, maybe even some before that, yes.

• 40:05Bill Simmons?

  Colts 22 to one.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Seattle Colts, yeah.

• 40:07Bill Simmons?

  Seattle 22 to one. Rams 11 to one.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  That makes a lot of sense to me, honestly.

• 40:14Bill Simmons?

  Steelers plus 450.

• 40:17Bill Simmons?

  But it seems like there's some sort of value there that we're not seeing. The other thing I was looking at was at the Pats. Trade back. I think Gentey is uh seems like he's gonna have some real juice as the draft gets closer. Raiders are minus 145 for him. They're picking sixth. And if the, if they get scared, somebody's gonna leapfrog them. Maybe they just move up two spots with the Pats if the Pats want to take a left tackle.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Right.

• 40:48Bill Simmons?

  But uh him going to the Raiders is minus 145, Saints is nine to one. And then your team's out 15 to one.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  I did, it's so funny because I would even look further down because to me it's still like, all right, if these GMs wise enough are running back that early, just even in the first round, but that early. Should only go to a team that's one piece away from making the playoffs or making a deep run in the playoffs. I'm sorry. It's not your team. It's not the Raiders. Probably not the Bears.

• 41:15Bill Simmons?

  The only case for my team.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  My team for sure, but.

• 41:18Bill Simmons?

  Well, the only case for my team is if they're like, this is a Peyton Manning, Edge James situation. We'll have our two guys. We won't be able to block for either of them, but we have, with this is an Emmitt Smith, Troy Aikman, like there's, there's a model here for this. I'm like, I'm pretty consistent with this. Like if you're picking that high, I need to get somebody that in free agency in four to five years is going to be like a $30 million a year guy. And running backs don't make that much, you know?

• 41:46Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 41:46Bill Simmons?

  Tackles do, cornerbacks do, pass rushers do. And I just feel like if you're picking that high, even if they took Mason Graham. It's like, that's a guy that will, if he's good, will be like a 25 to 30 million dollar a year player.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:59Bill Simmons?

  A running back will not, but once you're in the range you're in, it starts to get more interesting. Then you're in that Jameer Gibbs range.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah. I, I don't think, you know, I think you got your player that everyone needs to be excited about, and that's a coach.

• 42:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  It's your coach. So now you don't have to, you know, kowtow to the fans. You could draft smart and go back to drafting smart like you do. I mean, I think like Denver at 75 to one, like kind of one-ish piece away from, from doing that, you know?

• 42:27Bill Simmons?

  A running back.

• 42:27Speaker 01

  Well, they did running back by committee.

• 42:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 01

  And it was not very successful.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  Right. Exactly.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  So that makes it, I like that price a lot.

• 42:35Bill Simmons?

  The Dallas Cowboys are seven to one to take a running back.

• 42:39Speaker 02

  To take a running back first.

• 42:40Bill Simmons?

  To take a running back first, plus 230 to take a receiver.

• 42:45Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, you can do that. Fando has all these positions. That's a lot of fun.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  The kid from North Carolina has been getting a ton of buzz and they're starting to do this thing about, you know, is this a Bijon Robinson, Jameer Gibbs kind of year?

• 43:00Bill Simmons?

  What position do you think Washington will take?

• 43:02Speaker 01

  I pray edge. I pray one of the guys that they like at edge.

• 43:06Bill Simmons?

  That's plus 170 on Fandel.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  Makes perfect sense, right?

• 43:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  That's the lowest odds for, for the position.

• 43:12Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. The one that they don't have yet that I think they should have is who's going to be the second quarterback drafted.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, they usually do.

• 43:21Bill Simmons?

  Cause Dart, Dart, Dart versus Sanders is a really fun one.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 43:26Bill Simmons?

  Cause couldn't you see the Saints just taking Dart ninth out of nowhere? Like whoa.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Right, right, right.

• 43:31Bill Simmons?

  Like one of those?

• 43:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure. And Dart, like, it's so funny because now we see how many people show up. Everybody reports on how many Giants showed up for Shador Sanders pro day, you know, it's like 37 Giants and 14 players and three front office guys. It ends up being like ratings for this and that affects the odds, like how many, you know, so that's why people think, but yeah, the same thing for, uh, what you're saying here. I could see it.

• 43:56Bill Simmons?

  Well, speaking of affecting the odds, you know, Fandel, they're, they've been an awesome partner to us that they're the reason we're here at the Masters right now. And occasionally I'll, I'll text them and badger them and make them do props and bets and stuff, including some golf ones that we're going to talk about in one second. But, uh, I made them do an exact order bet. This is my dream scenario for the Pats, which was Cam Ward, Sanders, Hunter. We get Abdul Carter fourth. So they put that up. They priced it. They had their, their trading desk priced it.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:28Bill Simmons?

  And it's plus 750 for that foursome. This was two weeks ago. It's now 17 to one.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Did you make him change it?

• 44:38Bill Simmons?

  No, they're just dropping their, their increase of the odds because.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  What happened? Did they, they send in some tariffs?

• 44:43Speaker 02

  No buyers?

• 44:45Speaker 01

  There was a Shador Sanders tariff?

• 44:46Bill Simmons?

  Wasn't, uh, did not turn out.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Drop them, kill the market.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Wow. What is, what happened that made that go up? Aside from no one spending?

• 44:54Bill Simmons?

  What happened is Sanders, it became clear he wasn't going to go two or three.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:58Bill Simmons?

  But, um, for the, for the top five pick that was the other one I was looking at?

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:05Bill Simmons?

  And Mason Graham is minus 140.

• 45:09Bill Simmons?

  And I just don't see how he falls past Jacksonville at five.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 45:12Bill Simmons?

  Either somebody, either the Pats take him, which I'd be fine with because then they would have an awesome D line with hopefully Barmore's healthy guy they signed from Philly. They spent a lot of money on and Graham. That sounds great. Let's have an awesome D line or Jacksonville takes him, but that's minus 140. Seems like good odds. It gets a little scarier after that. Like Will Campbell, the left tackle everyone thinks the Pats are going to take. I just don't think they take him at four.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  Minus 135.

• 45:40Bill Simmons?

  I think they trade back a couple of spots if they're taking him because nobody else is going to take him.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  Is, is the NFL draft or the mock draft, the biggest, all right, we're full of shit, but you have no choice but to follow us.

• 45:51Bill Simmons?

  No, I honestly, I think it's like the Denver, the Malone booth thing. I think there's so much scuttlebutt and I think they talked to so many people and I think these guys get real info.

• 46:01Speaker 02

  They end up six out of 32. And if there's one trade, it screws everything up.

• 46:05Bill Simmons?

  No, but I'm saying info about who's kind of.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  Who's looking for.

• 46:08Bill Simmons?

  By now we know if Sanders is going to be a top four pick or not. He's just not, it's not happening.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Right. All right. So maybe if you.

• 46:14Bill Simmons?

  So we know stuff like that.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  You could outline the top three or four, but after that, like.

• 46:18Bill Simmons?

  Like we know Cam Ward, like Tennessee's taking him. Like we've done that for a little while. Yeah, no.

• 46:23Speaker 02

  I'm just saying Joe Lennardi goes 67 to 68 gets death threats and then everybody else like Kuiper goes seven for 32. And it's like, yeah, great job. All right.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Well, because the NFL has teams like Atlanta who draft Michael Pennix Jr.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Number nine.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  Right, right. Yeah, everything gets.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  Like no, like.

• 46:42Bill Simmons?

  Hey, I'm zagging. Pretty good pick.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  No, but that's what I'm saying.

• 46:47Bill Simmons?

  You might as well.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Michael Pennix might be the first pick of this draft.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  It's a great pick. If you.

• 46:51Bill Simmons?

  It's a great pick. If they just hadn't spent 90 million on Kirk Cousins.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  If you just don't care about money.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  I'm just saying, don't bet minus 170 on anything. Just like because of this.

• 47:01Bill Simmons?

  Because I think that's great advice.

• 47:02Speaker 01

  Dead right. Absolutely.

• 47:04Bill Simmons?

  With that said.

• 47:09Bill Simmons?

  Gentey plus 850, I think is a really interesting bet.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 47:13Speaker 01

  For where?

• 47:14Bill Simmons?

  For a top five pick.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Ooh, nah, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. You can't have a running back in top five.

• 47:20Bill Simmons?

  If he's Bijon Barkley, that level, and everybody thinks that. And people think the Raiders are going to take him at six and they want to leapfrog him and get to four or five to take him. That's the, that's the path. That's how it would have to happen. Seems like pretty good odds for that.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  That is a Raiders move. That would be fun. Get the hell out of there.

• 47:41Bill Simmons?

  You, so you like that one?

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Would Tom Brady permit that?

• 47:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Did any of the, since we did the NFL over under pod? And we, so we did the, uh, sound, I did that.

• 47:52Speaker 01

  I listened.

• 47:53Bill Simmons?

  And we told, we told House.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:56Bill Simmons?

  Here's the Niners praise. And you would have thought I told House, Trump's about to do tariffs. Assume all these short positions. I haven't heard House that excited about a win total, probably in my life.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Stay the same?

• 48:12Bill Simmons?

  No, it's down. Oh, it's still standing up, but there's minus 135 juice now.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, that's still not a bad price.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  I, I held, you know, I, I caught my breath and I thought about it.

• 48:23Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  And I don't think they're very good. And I think they're going to have, with this huge overhaul, it's not going to be the same team we're looking at and everything. But I thought about it and I was like, and I still don't think they should be favored to win the division. But I said, boy, if you had your choice of being in any division with any schedule, you would want to play a fourth place schedule and against the AFC South and the NFC South.

• 48:46Bill Simmons?

  And that's what the, that's what they're doing.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  They do have the easiest schedule, as we sit here today. We haven't seen what the rest situation and all that is and how it will affect it. But I don't know who's on that team. I don't know what the skill positions are.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  You took everybody from their team.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  It's, it's Brock Purdy and it's Trent Williams and it's McCaffrey on how many, on, on half a leg, on one leg? I mean.

• 49:11Bill Simmons?

  One leg?

• 49:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:12Bill Simmons?

  Does he even have one leg anymore?

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Fred Warner plays defense. They, you know, that's it.

• 49:18Bill Simmons?

  We're going to do some master stuff.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:21Bill Simmons?

  Before we do the draft, we're going to do, um, we have a bunch of Ringer specials that are on the FanDuel Sportsbook right now. Including House's Frog Frenzy Region parlay?

• 49:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:34Bill Simmons?

  Which is Matsuyama top Asian and McElroy top UK plus 460.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Those guys.

• 49:42Bill Simmons?

  Why is it the Frog Frenzy House?

• 49:43Speaker 01

  Because those guys are teammates. They're teammates on the Boston Common, uh, TGL team. They're ball frogs. And, uh.

• 49:53Bill Simmons?

  You might be the only person that knows this.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  Hideki, Hideki, I think played in like half a ma- I don't, I don't remember seeing him.

• 49:59Bill Simmons?

  So glad that's the explanation. It could have gone so many different ways.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  Frog frenzy. That's it.

• 50:05Bill Simmons?

  I thought you were gonna get canceled for a second. I thought something horrible happened.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 50:09Bill Simmons?

  It's like, why did he frog Frenzy?

• 50:11Speaker 01

  I explained it when, when I put it in there. Anytime you have the ball frogs as a potential parlay, you gotta do it.

• 50:18Bill Simmons?

  So, House, you have Justin Thomas winning the Masters.

• 50:22Speaker 01

  I do.

• 50:23Bill Simmons?

  What's the case?

• 50:24Speaker 01

  Um, in the first place.

• 50:26Bill Simmons?

  By the way, 22 to 1.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  So that's the most important aspect of this. I think it's a great price for where he is in terms of, um, his success this year. His biggest problem over this drought, this winning drought that he's in, he hasn't won in over, uh, two years, has been putting. He putted very poorly last season and his putting has greatly improved and his numbers, he's been competitive. I mean, he, he choked down the stretch, uh, two weeks ago in Tampa, Florida. He had a three-stroke lead going into the final five holes and lost to Victor Hovland, who birdied two of the last three. So, I mean, it was, it was a sensible loss, but I love where JT is in terms of his off the tee numbers.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  I love where he is in terms of approach and the key thing for me is the price because I don't think you're getting any return on Scottie Scheffler or Rory McIlroy, and I will pivot immediately if one of those guys comes out and shoots 66 on Thursday. But JT at 22 to 1 doesn't match up with the caliber and quality of his play thus far this season. So that's why I did it.

• 51:34Bill Simmons?

  And then Sal, you jumped on

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Morikawa.

• 51:37Bill Simmons?

  A bandwagon.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Why is that?

• 51:39Bill Simmons?

  He's a bandwagon guy.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  I haven't heard anyone else take him.

• 51:42Bill Simmons?

  Pick. Oh, so many people.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  Really?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  I love him.

• 51:44Bill Simmons?

  Sixteen to one on Fanduel. What was your case?

• 51:46Speaker 02

  Fourth in the world, came in third last year.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  He's

• 51:49Speaker 02

  Came in 10th the year before, came in 5th in 2022. He's never missed a Masters cut, so you know you're gonna see him Saturday, Sunday. He's gonna be on the board. I think people are down on him because of that outburst with House. You say that's not even an outburst when he

• 52:04Speaker 01

  No.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  Blew a three-stroke lead with five left in the Arnold Palmer.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  Uh, last month, and he wouldn't talk to the press.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  He

• 52:10Speaker 02

  Who gives a crap? Don't talk to me. I'll

• 52:12Speaker 01

  No, he didn't talk to the press because he was waiting for the winner to finish. And he was waiting, and he was waiting, and he was waiting, and the tour never got him. Said, come, you know, here's how we're gonna sequence this. He just left.

• 52:24Bill Simmons?

  Very misunderstood. Tour apologist Joe House.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  I like, I'm a Morikawa stan.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  He finished in ties the top 20 in all four majors last year.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  I think he's, it's a great bet. I have some Morikawa exposure. I just loved the price for JT. That's the reason that I, I went with JT.

• 52:39Bill Simmons?

  We did hit one bet already at the Masters. That we'd run into Scott Van Pelt and he would take us to the Butler Cabin.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  What a guy.

• 52:47Bill Simmons?

  Group photo.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:48Bill Simmons?

  Which I put on my Instagram.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  That was

• 52:50Speaker 01

  That was like

• 52:51Bill Simmons?

  The Butler Cabin. I haven't seen House that excited. Probably, I, I'm trying to think of a scenario where you would have the look on your face that you had. And I think it involves the word free massage.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  It, I won't go there. It was stunning. I'm not, I can't overstate how like the set of, the sequence of events. First of all,

• 53:11Speaker 02

  It happened in eight seconds.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  We walked all the way up 10 to get to the top of the hill to where they're, all the social scene is happening. The media people, all that happens at the putting green where one and 10 come together. It's a big scene.

• 53:24Bill Simmons?

  Kudos to Nathan Hubbard, who's asleep right now because he had 14 pieces of pizza. Um, but he, he was like, let's go up there. We'll run into someone. It's a good call.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  It's a great call.

• 53:34Bill Simmons?

  Run into somebody.

• 53:35Speaker 01

  But we, we had to stop halfway up because the cousin Sal has never walked up 10.

• 53:39Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  It's hard. It's a real walk.

• 53:42Bill Simmons?

  Forgot. It was like the Denver Nuggets band. With all the rookies. We forgot that Sal was a rookie and didn't realize we're just going uphill for an hour.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  Ridiculous walker by eating pizza and oysters. That's how I drink.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  But we went, the sequence of events went from, from that moment. Yeah. And then we're up there and then it's like, hey, but you know, there's SP baby doll takes charge. It goes right up.

• 54:04Bill Simmons?

  He knows me. He knows me. He's gonna fucking love this. Yeah.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  SVP. Good job.

• 54:09Bill Simmons?

  Baby doll only got scolded three times for smoking.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  For smoking. Yeah.

• 54:13Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Anyway, we ran an SVP, saw the Butler cabin, which was about the size of the room we're in now, almost.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  It's weird.

• 54:21Bill Simmons?

  But cool brick fireplace.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Amazing. It's a really, it's a TV studio. It is completely like, you know, floor to ceiling outfit for perfect TV, you know, for video audio. It's a, it's like walking into, you know, any, a, a proper studio where you guys know how to do TV shows. I was surprised by that aspect.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's like there'd be a Ringer studio right outside Small World Ride in Disneyland. It's like, what the, why is this here?

• 54:49Bill Simmons?

  It's also always fun to run into Van Pelt because he's gigantic.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  He's so tall.

• 54:52Bill Simmons?

  Six, six, five. You always forget how like tall he is and just famous.

• 54:56Speaker 01

  What a homie.

• 54:57Bill Simmons?

  Great guy. My master's winner is Rory McIlroy at plus 650. It's, it's, I always make fun of you for being sentimental about Rory.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  You do.

• 55:09Bill Simmons?

  What, uh, somebody that, uh, drove us around a little bit the last two days, Matt, who, who we've been fortunate enough to get to know a little bit. And he had some Rory intel about Rory was kinda popping back here and play the course and, um, just making a couple of extra trips.

• 55:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Gus, the native Matt, keeping his eye on things for us.

• 55:29Bill Simmons?

  Just that Rory seemed especially focused this year and I just liked the moment. I mean, he's running out of time. You know, from a, from a, he's in an, his extended prime now, I would say. I don't think there's a lot more years where he's in the mix like this as a favorite. And it just feels like to me, like, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna be like, gotta be like this year or next year.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  So that's interesting because we are in this era where we see athletes, you know, extend their career and he has been very fortunate in terms of avoiding injury. He does seem like with his swing, he's been able to get more out of it. He hits the ball even further than ever in his 30s and he doesn't have these injuries that pop up that much. So I think there's a window of time that I would say it's at least like five years. But your point is right, there is not a long history of Masters winners, you know, once you hit age 35.

• 56:26Bill Simmons?

  If he could avoid injury like he avoided Baby Doll today. So 35, four years left?

• 56:33Speaker 01

  I would give him like six or seven, I mean, remember.

• 56:35Bill Simmons?

  When we get in our 40s, are we still in your prime at this point in golf?

• 56:40Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 56:42Bill Simmons?

  So basically he's got the 2020s left?

• 56:44Speaker 01

  He's, he's got some time. I'm not ready.

• 56:46Bill Simmons?

  This is, this is the moment though.

• 56:48Speaker 01

  This is a, a crucial moment. It's not going to be any better because he's never come into a Masters having won twice on American soil. And his numbers are through the roof in terms of the quality of his.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Look, in our defense, House and I bet golf every weekend and we've had money on Rory blowing round four a lot, right? I mean, that's, that's the hesitation.

• 57:08Bill Simmons?

  36 years old, Rory.

• 57:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:11Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. So, I don't know, we're, we're around when it should, it should happen again pretty soon.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  It would be great. I'm rooting for it. I just didn't, I'll, I'll, I'll live bet it if he, if he comes out. His biggest problem has been Thursday. He hasn't hit, played, scored well on Thursday.

• 57:27Bill Simmons?

  Is he the number one player or a team you've live bet the most?

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 57:33Bill Simmons?

  And then I'll ask Sal. I think for Sal, it's the Chiefs.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  Uh, it might be Alex Pereira, but it's funny. We discussed this on Against All Odds. Like if you had to assign a point value from one to 100 on guys and teams that you've, you've bet on the most. So Pereira, McElroy, Chestnut. Those are my three.

• 57:53Bill Simmons?

  I think mine are the Brady Pats.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 57:55Bill Simmons?

  Like halftime bets, stuff like that. Yeah. Just like, we're fucking, yes, we're coming back. Man, I miss those days. Yeah. All right. We're going to, uh, take a break and come back and do a little masters draft. This episode is brought to you by Expedia. You know how at the end of the season, your team goes to Cancun? Sometimes earlier than expected, sometimes after blowing a three, one series lead. But what if you went to Cancun with Expedia? Save up to 30% when you bundle and save. You can book the flight or the hotel now, then book the rest later. In all fairness though, hopefully your team doesn't go to Cancun, one, two, three Cancun. Or if they do, you go with them. Expedia, the one place you go to go places. Sign in to save. Savings vary. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other.

• 58:39Bill Simmons?

  Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes. Yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves and the financial wins just keep coming. PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865 is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association, Member, FDIC. All right. For this last segment, I always make fun of NFL pregame shows when they have too many people on and we're about to have a six person segment, but we only have four mics.

• 59:23Bill Simmons?

  So I think it's going to work well. Dave Chang joined us. Hello, hello. Nathan Hubbard joined us. Hello. And James Baby Doll Dixon is here.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  Yo, Baby Doll. So glad to be here with you guys.

• 59:34Bill Simmons?

  We have never been at the Masters together.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  No, we have not.

• 59:37Bill Simmons?

  Never been in the Masters with Sal. I've been with Chang. I've been with Nathan. I've been with House. Obviously, who no longer has a mic. Maybe, maybe that's a good thing. You guys don't need to share the mic. We're gonna bring Chang in.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  But I wanna share the mic.

• 59:49Bill Simmons?

  Well Chang has a bum shoulder.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  Like a separated shoulder. They surgically removed his shoulder. Now he's leaning on his left side here. But I just wanna make you as uncomfortable as possible.

• 1:00:00Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  And he's also like, cooking like a wild man with this really bad shoulder. It's impressive.

• 1:00:06Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, he's playing hurt. He's an inspiration to all of us and to everybody except Tiger Woods, who's not here. But there's a lot of good golfers here. Nathan, we didn't talk about, we both picked Rory to win this Masters.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, we did.

• 1:00:20Bill Simmons?

  What was your case quickly?

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  Uh, he 10 years ago, got 60% of his shots gained from off the tee. Last year, 51%. This year, only 37%. And he is still first in driving, which is to say the rest of his game has gotten way, way better.

• 1:00:37Bill Simmons?

  See, that was much better and much smarter and more stat driven than my take, which is like more Rory's now hitting his mid, late 30s. It's time. If it's ever gonna happen, it's happening right now. And Matt, our guy, told us that he's been hurt a couple of times. That was my case. Plus 650. We're gonna do a draft.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  You didn't trust Matt with your, your phone, but you do with the Masters pick, huh?

• 1:00:58Bill Simmons?

  No, I wanted to put my phone. I like getting my phone from the pub house.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  We all left our phones with Matt, but Simmons.

• 1:01:03Bill Simmons?

  I don't know where Matt's gonna go. What if his car gets stolen? Okay, we're doing this draft and FanDuel is gonna put odds on it. And we are going to do a Thursday, Friday draft. The 48 hour frenzy, I think we're calling this. Each of us are gonna be two golfers. Lowest score wins and people can bet on this on FanDuel Sportsbook.

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:23Bill Simmons?

  So if you like my pair more than everyone else's pair, put some odds on it. Mm hmm. Has your number Mike, you can't talk. You, you talk when I talk to you.

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  You're sounding like Alec Baldwin's wife.

• 1:01:37Bill Simmons?

  You're sharing baby's mic. If you want, do you want to share? You have something to say?

• 1:01:42Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:01:43Bill Simmons?

  Oh, you're doing the Justin Tipper Lake, Barry Gibb show.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Hold on, can I just say we haven't figured out what the booby prize is? But whoever comes in last has to do something stupid.

• 1:01:52Bill Simmons?

  Something humiliating.

• 1:01:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, something humiliating Friday, yeah.

• 1:01:55Bill Simmons?

  I think you have to mix all of the sandwiches in the, on the course.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Oh, that's pretty good.

• 1:02:00Bill Simmons?

  And then eat them. Egg salad, pork. Great idea.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  I think I might have done that anyway today, but that's fine. You guys don't have trouble there.

• 1:02:09Bill Simmons?

  All right, let's do the draft and then we're going to interrogate baby on some stuff. Chang, I'm going to give you the first pick.

• 1:02:17Bill Simmons?

  Of anyone for Thursday, Friday. So it's not to win the tournament, just who do you think is going to be the leader Thursday and Friday? Or have a really good score?

• 1:02:26Speaker 04

  Well, I know you guys are choosing Rory, but I'm going to go with Scotty Shapler, number one pick. I don't, I don't think he's going to win, but for the first, you know, two days, yes. That's my pick.

• 1:02:39Bill Simmons?

  Okay.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  Make a case for Shapler. I don't see, where's this guy coming from? All right, that's good. And it's the lowest combined score, right?

• 1:02:47Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, so you have second pick.

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  All right, well, I did, you know, the last half hour, I said Colin Morikawa. I've not wavered from that pick. I like him. What are his numbers? Uh, third last year, 10th the year before, fifth in 2022. Never misses a Masters cut. We had a buddy who said he had lunch with him yesterday. Delightful fella. Dead set on winning this thing. Welcome to team Sal, Colin Morikawa.

• 1:03:10Bill Simmons?

  Is that like a name drop? But it was like a mystery name.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  Uh, it's a mystery name drop.

• 1:03:15Bill Simmons?

  All right, Nathan, you go third.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  Uh, give me Rory McIlroy. It's his time.

• 1:03:23Bill Simmons?

  It's his time. That's, that was my terrible take.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  It's a bad take because Rory has struggled on Thursdays.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's the one.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  And that's really the narrative of this tournament. If he plays Thursday well, he's going to win this golf.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  Thursday and Friday.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 1:03:37Bill Simmons?

  Baby, you get to go fourth. Who's your pick? I'm doing the Swede. Aberg. Ludwig? Ludwig Aberg.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  It's kind of Olberg, isn't it?

• 1:03:47Bill Simmons?

  It's Olberg.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I don't think if he wins, you shouldn't get credit for that.

• 1:03:52Bill Simmons?

  Wait, it's fricking Swedish. Uh-oh.

• 1:03:54Speaker 03

  Burg, a bird.

• 1:03:55Bill Simmons?

  Potato, potato, who gives a shit?

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Starts with an A with that little dot over it when I'm supposed to follow this. It's a little out.

• 1:04:03Bill Simmons?

  All right. I am, uh, I'm going fifth and I'm taking Beefy Bryson, Bryson DeChambeau. Nice. With my fifth pick. All right, House, you get to hold the mic down. You get two straight picks.

• 1:04:14Speaker 01

  Great. I'll take Jon Rahm.

• 1:04:16Bill Simmons?

  Oh.

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  And I'll take Justin Thomas.

• 1:04:20Speaker 03

  You got the best spot in the draft.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Want to make the case? Make a case? Yeah.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  Jon Rahm is a complete wild card because he plays on the live tour. Now, he hasn't finished worse than sixth on any of his live events for the most part. But I like him this year as opposed to last year. He had a tied for 45th last year as the defending champion. And he was in disarray. His game was in disarray. His life was in disarray. He's calm now. Nathan gave me a very fine report of how he conducted himself at the press conference. He is poised. He's ready. He's locked in. I like that he played Doral last week. Tough golf course.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Played well.

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  You know, let, ready for a major. And then Justin Thomas is my pick to win this golf tournament because I love the odds of 22 to one, but Thomas has been gaining strokes on approach for about nine months now. And the key with Justin Thomas is that his putting is greatly improved. Now, he is playing with a new caddy for the Masters. Uh, I hope it's the guy that Ben Crenshaw used. Uh, we're on the 30th anniversary of Ben Crenshaw winning in 95. If he has that guy, um, you might have a chance, but I don't love the idea of a new caddy.

• 1:05:25Bill Simmons?

  Why is that? Why do people not like a new caddy? Everybody gets sours on a player who has a new caddy. I think the caddy is actually dead.

• 1:05:33Speaker 05

  But.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Cretos Caddy? Yeah, all right, R I P.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  Oh, well, then he had to change Caddys.

• 1:05:40Bill Simmons?

  All right, I'm up. I'm taking Xander.

• 1:05:42Speaker 02

  God.

• 1:05:42Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:05:43Bill Simmons?

  Steady pick, best guy on the board.

• 1:05:45Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:05:46Bill Simmons?

  Um, big year last year for him. Maybe it'll continue at the Masters. So House has Ram and Thomas. I have Beefy Bryson and Xander as my two. Baby, you're up.

• 1:05:56Speaker 05

  I'm, I'm going with the.

• 1:06:00Bill Simmons?

  Say it right.

• 1:06:00Speaker 05

  Always, this one's easy. I'm going with Kapka as my second pick. Aberg played so, and Oberg played so impressively last year.

• 1:06:10Bill Simmons?

  Aberg or Oberg?

• 1:06:12Speaker 05

  Both of them played so impressively.

• 1:06:14Bill Simmons?

  Just call him Bergy.

• 1:06:15Speaker 05

  Bergy, Ludwig, um, I, I.

• 1:06:20Speaker 05

  He hits the ball a country mile, number one. He's got the short game. He finished, I believe, second last year, if I'm not mistaken. And I think he's one of the absolute future stars of the tour and will win many majors in his career. Kapka.

• 1:06:37Bill Simmons?

  I, listen, I love on this podcast when people suck up to the Swedes.

• 1:06:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, right, in general. No, but I, he's always a threat in the majors. He's had a very good recent history, Kapka, in, in, in the Masters. I am not sure where his game is because I don't watch live, but.

• 1:06:58Bill Simmons?

  Is that a political decision or?

• 1:06:59Speaker 05

  Always looming and could be a threat this, this week.

• 1:07:05Bill Simmons?

  All right, we got a lot of live guys already.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  That was two.

• 1:07:07Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:08Bill Simmons?

  Uh, Nathan, you're up. You have Rory and who?

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  God, this is a tough one. Because the, the, the money says you should take Joaquin Niemann here, but I just don't trust him based on the way that he played at live last week. So I'm gonna go totally off reservation and go Shane Lowry. There's a small, select group of guys who can actually win this golf tournament, and it's people who come in with great ball striking. And Shane Lowry is coming in with great ball striking, and he generally starts these tournaments decently well. So let's, let's see how he does.

• 1:07:42Bill Simmons?

  All right. Speaking of great ball striking, Cousins. Hey now.

• 1:07:46Speaker 02

  I'm going with the Shaggy Dog Cam Smith. Taking him right there. Ninth last year. Top 10, top 10 in five of the last seven Masters and never missed a Masters cut, which means he's gonna have a nice score on Friday, by Friday. And, and he shaved the mullet. He shaved the mullet.

• 1:08:06Speaker 03

  That worries me.

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  Mullet or not, here we come. Welcome to Team Sal and Smith.

• 1:08:10Bill Simmons?

  Dave Chang, you have the last pick.

• 1:08:15Speaker 04

  I asked our good friend Chat GPT to help me on this, and I asked, what if you were Cousin Sal but successful?

• 1:08:27Bill Simmons?

  At betting?

• 1:08:27Speaker 04

  At betting, especially when it comes to the Masters. And what would be the best long shot? I sort of did. And it also helped me with alliteration. So we got Scottie Scheffler, and we're going to Sep Straka. We finished 16th last year.

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  We saw him today.

• 1:08:44Speaker 04

  Great approach shots.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  He looked good.

• 1:08:46Speaker 04

  And I'm trying to make Cousin Sal look good.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  Okay, good. Good luck with that. I mean, that might be tougher than actually winning.

• 1:08:52Bill Simmons?

  All right. So here's who we have. Chang has Scottie and Straka. Sal has Morikawa and Cam Smith. Nathan has Rory and Lowry. Baby has Bergy and Koepka. I have Bryson and Zander. And House has Rahm and Thomas. Fan duel at some point tomorrow will have odds on all of these pairings with our names. And people can bet on this for Thursday, Friday. And I'm getting all the info from them. Who got bet on the most? All that's, I really want to have the most bets.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  You do?

• 1:09:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  You're gonna, you'll get that. People like you, I think.

• 1:09:27Bill Simmons?

  Looking at this, I think House is gonna have the most bets. Ramon Thomas. Yeah, I think, I think House will have the most action, which makes House public, which means he's not gonna win.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  They're public.

• 1:09:39Bill Simmons?

  So there we go. That's it for our big draft. Check it out. The, I think we're called Ringer 48 Hour Frenzy. What do you want to call it?

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  I think that's good. Yeah.

• 1:09:47Bill Simmons?

  And then we might do, we were talking about maybe something with the 16 pole number of people that's, that hit the water.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  Oh, the Ringer Rinse.

• 1:09:54Bill Simmons?

  Ringer Rinse, Thursday, Friday, something like that.

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  Good times.

• 1:09:58Bill Simmons?

  That's where we go. All right, we're gonna take one more break and then uh come back with some more master stories. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Excitement is in the air. That's right. It's the start of NBA season. I can't wait to get together with friends, share some Michelob Ultras and watch Tip Off Plus as the official beer sponsor of the NBA. Michelob Ultra is getting you closer to the action with the experiences that make you feel like you're courtside to actual courtside tickets. Enter now for a chance to win at michelobultra.com/courtside. Michelob Ultra Courtside 26 to 27. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 21+. Begins on October 1st, 2026. Ends on June 30th, 2027. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobultra.com/courtside for free entry.

• 1:10:42Bill Simmons?

  Entry deadlines, prizes and details. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech. Whether it's a pumpkin spice coffee that goes splat in your seat or a weekend tailgate that leaves your trunk full of gear and who knows what, you're gonna want WeatherTech in your vehicle. Whether you call it fall, autumn or spooky season, whether the mess is your fault, the kids, the dogs or the weather's fault, you're gonna want WeatherTech for American-made floor liners and a cargo liner that laugh in the face of fall weather. Visit weatherTech.com today. And now for a special part of today's show, Forward Thinkers of the Game, brought to you by Workday, in which we discuss the players who brought something fresh to the court. When you're a forward thinker, the only thing you're afraid of is business as usual. And Workday is the AI platform that transforms the way you manage people and money today.

• 1:11:26Bill Simmons?

  So you can transform tomorrow. Workday, moving business forever forward. You know, they asked me to talk about a player that made me think of what I just said. Steph Curry. If you think 21st century, what NBA player impacted professional basketball and basketball the most? The three-point shooting, uh, the skill that Steph brought to it. Not only revolutionized how they played basketball in the NBA, but then inspired this whole new generation of players in high school and college, and even affected the women's game. Players like Katelyn Clark. It all basically starts with Steph when his career really starts taking off with the Warriors in 2013 and 14, and it changed the geometry of basketball.

• 1:12:11Bill Simmons?

  So that's one example. Anyway, you can learn more about how Workday is changing everything at workday.com. All right, now it's just the four of us. Nathan and House have Fairway Roland, they're taping tomorrow, they're doing their big Masters preview. So I want people to listen to that. What you can't get on Fairway Roland is what it was like to walk the course with Baby today.

• 1:12:34Speaker 02

  What a day. What a day.

• 1:12:36Bill Simmons?

  So.

• 1:12:37Speaker 05

  Was it fun?

• 1:12:39Speaker 02

  It was a lot of fun.

• 1:12:40Speaker 05

  It really was. I had a great time with you guys, I really did.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, because you wouldn't shut up. You talked about your shot and your shoulder and your strokes and how you were as a 25-year-old golfer.

• 1:12:51Speaker 05

  I really was, you're right. I was very.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  The walking would have been easier if he wasn't in his ears.

• 1:12:55Speaker 05

  But you know, I do like talking golf with House.

• 1:12:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:58Speaker 05

  Because we're, we have, I think we have a very similar handicap and also a somewhat similar passion for the game.

• 1:13:06Speaker 02

  He was listening more than talking.

• 1:13:08Speaker 05

  He was very intently listening.

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  No, no, I don't think he was intently. Listen, this was a real highlight of my day because I didn't know that you were such a golf lunatic.

• 1:13:17Speaker 05

  Oh, I'm a lunatic.

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  And number two, I kept on walking in front of you guys with Sally here and I kept on telling Sally, I was like, this is insane.

• 1:13:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:26Speaker 04

  Because you spoke nonstop relentlessly.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  This is not a compliment, baby.

• 1:13:32Speaker 04

  Describing your entire golf history of how far you would hit every club in your bag at different ages of your life.

• 1:13:38Speaker 05

  I did. It was like the evolution, you know, the, the evolution of my game from age 12 to, to 60.

• 1:13:48Bill Simmons?

  It was like a sports documentary narrative series.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:13:53Bill Simmons?

  That nobody signed up for.

• 1:13:54Speaker 05

  I didn't mean to annoy you guys with it, I just get so excited when I.

• 1:13:57Speaker 02

  You get upset now.

• 1:13:58Speaker 05

  No, I'm not upset. I just, I, when I walk those hallowed grounds. I just, I get like this, this like energy about it. I just, I can't help myself. I'm like obsessed.

• 1:14:10Speaker 04

  How do you know that House was enjoying listening to this?

• 1:14:13Bill Simmons?

  I think House was. I think House really loves listening to anyone talk about golf.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  You gotta give him a break tomorrow.

• 1:14:18Speaker 05

  All right, tomorrow, I'll walk with you guys tomorrow.

• 1:14:21Speaker 02

  Well, here's the thing, like he, and we were here listening to-

• 1:14:23Speaker 05

  Hard to keep up with Simmons on the course.

• 1:14:25Speaker 02

  You can't keep up with Simmons, so it's gonna have to be someone else.

• 1:14:26Speaker 05

  His pace is very brisk.

• 1:14:27Speaker 02

  But he's talking about his golf game and everything, and this would go for 40 minutes, and then we'd get a break from Baby. Like, oh, thank God. We don't have to listen to the golf talk. He'd go to the bathroom, or he'd go to smoke somewhere, or he'd go to the fucking pro shop for the fourth time in a day, and then he'd keep us waiting for four, like, so half our day was spent waiting for Baby.

• 1:14:44Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:14:45Speaker 05

  Well, I only dropped, what, 4K today? That wasn't bad.

• 1:14:48Bill Simmons?

  It's right around the over under.

• 1:14:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:14:51Bill Simmons?

  Well, so Sal, Baby does this thing where he's convinced everybody who's ever met him-

• 1:14:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:14:56Bill Simmons?

  -knows who he is. Most famously, when he accosted Oprah Winfrey in Jimmy's dressing room.

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:15:03Bill Simmons?

  And did Oprah, Oprah, you remember me, you remember me, and she didn't. And then he's like, no, Oprah, you remember me.

• 1:15:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:15:09Bill Simmons?

  And it's a famous story. So we were wondering if he would do that today on the golf course, and you take it from here.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  Um, there were a couple, right? It was Cam Smith, who's on my team.

• 1:15:19Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:15:19Speaker 02

  And, uh, cause there was a Wake Forest connection. Your daughter went to Wake Forest.

• 1:15:24Speaker 05

  Two of my daughters did, yes.

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  And, uh, he was eating a banana after his tee shot, and what'd you do?

• 1:15:31Bill Simmons?

  Well, so can I, can I, background? So 17, and he's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get Cam Smith's attention.

• 1:15:39Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:15:40Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, with the Wake Forest thing.

• 1:15:41Speaker 05

  Yes, I-

• 1:15:42Bill Simmons?

  And we're like, Baby, definitely don't do that. He's doing a practice round. He's trying to figure out distances. He's not gonna acknowledge you. He's like, no, no, no, I, I, I think I can get him.

• 1:15:51Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:15:51Bill Simmons?

  So he's walking by, eating a banana, and what happens?

• 1:15:55Speaker 05

  Cam, Cam, Wake Forest. Wait, oh, I said, first I said, Cam, uh, uh-

• 1:16:03Bill Simmons?

  We're rooting for you.

• 1:16:04Speaker 05

  We're rooting for you. Best of luck this week. Didn't look up from peeling his banana.

• 1:16:09Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:16:09Speaker 05

  And as I said, as I said, Wake Forest guy, Wake Forest connection, he continued to peel the banana and stick it in his mouth and look the other way.

• 1:16:21Bill Simmons?

  He seemed like he paused for a split second.

• 1:16:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:24Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:24Speaker 05

  But.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  He at least might have paused and then there was a follow up.

• 1:16:28Bill Simmons?

  Well, so then there was another one that I thought was a better one. So there Rory McIlroy. Chang, how dubious were you of this? When baby said, I can get Rory to come over.

• 1:16:39Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:16:40Bill Simmons?

  On the 18th.

• 1:16:41Speaker 04

  I can't express how I felt truly because I didn't know I'd feel embarrassment on that hole because you said you were going to do it and I didn't think you were going to do it with Cam, but you did. And it was embarrassing, quite frankly, for you.

• 1:16:54Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:55Speaker 04

  And us, because we were there.

• 1:16:57Bill Simmons?

  I wasn't embarrassed at all.

• 1:17:02Speaker 05

  He'd be lucky to know me for God's sake.

• 1:17:04Speaker 04

  Now I knew you weren't joking that you were really going to talk to Rory because you have had interactions.

• 1:17:09Speaker 05

  I have had multiple interactions with him.

• 1:17:12Bill Simmons?

  Not today.

• 1:17:14Speaker 05

  I don't want to say we're neighbors at the Bears Club, but we're neighbors at the Bears Club.

• 1:17:19Speaker 04

  So you position yourself.

• 1:17:21Speaker 05

  Wonderful guy to me and very kind. He's a gentleman.

• 1:17:25Bill Simmons?

  Can we, can we?

• 1:17:25Speaker 05

  All that.

• 1:17:26Bill Simmons?

  Can we unwind that for a second?

• 1:17:27Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:17:28Bill Simmons?

  I don't want to say I'm neighbors with him at the Bears Club, but I'm neighbors with him at the Bears.

• 1:17:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, because it sounds so ridiculous. His house is so incredibly beautiful.

• 1:17:36Bill Simmons?

  Does that mean you're neighbors with him at the Bears Club?

• 1:17:38Speaker 05

  I mean, he's around the corner. Yeah, there's only 80 houses.

• 1:17:42Bill Simmons?

  Sounds like neighbor.

• 1:17:43Speaker 02

  But that doesn't mean he knows you.

• 1:17:46Speaker 05

  No, I didn't say he knows me well, but he know, he know, he, he doesn't know me well, but when he sees me, he knows who I am. How's that?

• 1:17:53Bill Simmons?

  So that Bears Club house, that was like the fourth Colbert extension? Like when you try to, when you try to assign the fees to the houses?

• 1:18:01Speaker 05

  Mike, Danny's the Simmons wing. What are you complaining about? Cousin Sal's my outdoor grill. Come on.

• 1:18:11Speaker 02

  That just means you're a shitty agent.

• 1:18:14Bill Simmons?

  Um, so go ahead.

• 1:18:17Speaker 04

  Uh, who is he playing with? I can't remember. Oh, amateur, I believe.

• 1:18:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:22Speaker 04

  And he hits a bomb of a drive on 18. And, you know, to Bill's credit, he got us to look at how narrow and how stressful it is to actually play 18.

• 1:18:32Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:32Speaker 04

  He doesn't really do it just.

• 1:18:33Bill Simmons?

  There's like five things you kind of have to see at the Masters and one of them is you have to stand behind the 18T to see.

• 1:18:40Speaker 05

  That was so good.

• 1:18:41Bill Simmons?

  How hard that is to just thread the needle with the amount of pressure that you might be facing on 18. It's like.

• 1:18:47Speaker 04

  It's easy to shake.

• 1:18:48Speaker 05

  It's like dead uphill.

• 1:18:50Bill Simmons?

  Giant, giant trap. Only really one spot to hit it and 19 things can go wrong.

• 1:18:55Speaker 05

  True to the last.

• 1:18:55Bill Simmons?

  Not to mention all the people lined up that you feel like.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  And it's 18. Yeah.

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. And Rory bombs his drive right down the middle, 300 plus. And, um, you know, you say you're gonna talk to Rory and you have like this prime spot as he's gonna walk past.

• 1:19:13Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:19:14Speaker 04

  And I had to turn my back to you.

• 1:19:16Bill Simmons?

  We backed off and gave him.

• 1:19:18Speaker 02

  We backed down.

• 1:19:18Bill Simmons?

  Like it was a yo mama fight or something.

• 1:19:21Speaker 05

  Let me give you some space, baby doll.

• 1:19:21Speaker 04

  I just, I just couldn't see the, this car crash that was gonna happen.

• 1:19:26Bill Simmons?

  So sad. You want to reenact what Babysaid?

• 1:19:27Speaker 05

  The other side of it. Imagine if he came over, how great that fucking moment would have been, right? Wouldn't that have been cool?

• 1:19:33Bill Simmons?

  Well, what did you say? You said Rory, Rory, Baby Doll.

• 1:19:38Speaker 05

  Yes, I did.

• 1:19:39Bill Simmons?

  That was it. It was just three words.

• 1:19:42Speaker 04

  Exactly what happened.

• 1:19:44Bill Simmons?

  And he heard real, he didn't, not only didn't he stop, I think he sped up when he heard Baby Doll.

• 1:19:49Speaker 05

  He cracked a little smile? I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it.

• 1:19:53Bill Simmons?

  Like, oh, this is my prison cellmate, uh, from 750.

• 1:19:56Speaker 05

  So you were helping. Just in my defense.

• 1:19:59Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:00Speaker 05

  He wins the Players two weeks ago or three, how many weeks ago was that? Three weeks ago now?

• 1:20:05Bill Simmons?

  And you guys are neighbors.

• 1:20:06Speaker 05

  And I saw him in the men's grill and I of course congratulated him profusely and.

• 1:20:13Bill Simmons?

  Like a thousand people.

• 1:20:14Speaker 05

  And he was sitting with Shane Lowry at the table and I talked to him for a minute and, you know, did the Baby Doll thing and.

• 1:20:22Speaker 04

  What is the Baby Doll thing?

• 1:20:23Speaker 02

  I think we saw it today.

• 1:20:24Speaker 05

  That's it.

• 1:20:27Bill Simmons?

  He calls someone's name and they don't respond.

• 1:20:30Speaker 05

  But I thought maybe it was semi-fresh in his mind.

• 1:20:34Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:34Speaker 05

  So that's why I had a modicum of, of, of confidence that he was going to like, oh, baby doll. Okay. Look, whatever. Didn't work out that way.

• 1:20:45Bill Simmons?

  No. Well, as it turns out, these guys are practice rounding and

• 1:20:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:49Bill Simmons?

  Trying to figure out their shots and the distances on every drive.

• 1:20:52Speaker 05

  You picked Rory.

• 1:20:53Bill Simmons?

  The baby doll didn't really trigger him at all.

• 1:20:55Speaker 02

  Wouldn't you have been a little weirded out? You picked Rory if he like was so unfocused that he did come over?

• 1:21:00Bill Simmons?

  I would have been concerned.

• 1:21:00Speaker 05

  I feel like they're actually, I know they're, but like he's played this tournament, you know, 20 times, 15 times. It's loose out there in these practice rounds.

• 1:21:12Speaker 02

  All right. So he just doesn't like you.

• 1:21:13Speaker 05

  Yeah, I guess.

• 1:21:14Bill Simmons?

  So 0 for 2 is the legacy.

• 1:21:16Speaker 05

  I was 0 for 2.

• 1:21:18Bill Simmons?

  Sal, can you tell the origin?

• 1:21:19Speaker 05

  There's always tomorrow.

• 1:21:21Bill Simmons?

  Can you tell the origin of the baby doll story? Cause you named him baby doll.

• 1:21:24Speaker 02

  I don't think there's much to it other than he says baby doll. He calls everyone baby doll. And, and I thought this was funny. And then, so I started calling him baby doll, right?

• 1:21:34Speaker 05

  That's exactly right.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  I mean, it's not fair that he gets to call everyone baby doll. We don't call him baby doll back.

• 1:21:40Speaker 05

  You, you are.

• 1:21:41Speaker 02

  There's not much to it.

• 1:21:42Speaker 05

  You are the, you are the guy who, who coined it.

• 1:21:46Speaker 02

  This is like, I don't know why no one did this. I met him 25 years ago. Someone should have done this 40 years ago.

• 1:21:54Speaker 05

  True.

• 1:21:54Speaker 02

  This is like wheels on luggage. Like luggage always should have had wheels, right? Not 1978, 81, right?

• 1:22:03Speaker 05

  I like that metaphor.

• 1:22:04Speaker 02

  Well, that's it. You, you should have been baby doll.

• 1:22:06Bill Simmons?

  So you were hoping because everyone calls you baby doll and you call everybody baby doll.

• 1:22:09Speaker 05

  Correct.

• 1:22:10Bill Simmons?

  Somewhere in Rory's head, as he's figuring out the course, how his swing is, the distances, that the baby doll would trigger like a Pavlovian response.

• 1:22:20Speaker 05

  Yes, I did.

• 1:22:21Bill Simmons?

  And it'd be like, oh, that guy I really like.

• 1:22:23Speaker 05

  Right. Yeah, totally. Isn't that insane of me? But yes, that was what was going through my fucked up mind.

• 1:22:28Speaker 04

  I have to say upon reflection, it's, your performance today was inspirational.

• 1:22:33Speaker 05

  Oh, that's why I love you, Chang. Thank you.

• 1:22:36Speaker 04

  You, you have to try. Failure is not enough. You just gotta try. You don't know what you're gonna get.

• 1:22:41Speaker 05

  You don't ask.

• 1:22:42Speaker 04

  Baby doll magic is just not being afraid.

• 1:22:45Speaker 05

  That's it.

• 1:22:46Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:22:46Speaker 02

  Is that the Wayne Gretzky quote? You miss a hundred, hundred percent of the shots you don't take?

• 1:22:52Speaker 04

  That's, that's exactly it.

• 1:22:53Speaker 05

  You know, and, and I know he's a, he's a really like decent guy. When you, when you talk to him, he's a gentleman beyond belief and.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  Why should we believe you?

• 1:23:03Speaker 05

  No, because he just is. And, and like, he's not some, you know,

• 1:23:09Speaker 05

  disengaged guy. And, uh, he's, he's always very polite and, and engaged. And so I thought maybe, and it was relatively recent that we, we bullshitted and, uh, oh, for two, what can I say? I tried.

• 1:23:25Speaker 04

  But that wasn't really the highlight. Sort of the highlight for me was we were talking to a member of Augusta National and somehow you just let it be known that you were a board member of Wake Forest right off the bat.

• 1:23:39Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:23:40Speaker 04

  Which had nothing to do with the conversation at all.

• 1:23:43Speaker 02

  You were so proud of that.

• 1:23:44Speaker 05

  Well, why did I bring that up?

• 1:23:48Speaker 05

  No, I'm like, you're right. I did bring it up.

• 1:23:50Speaker 02

  I hate to add context to this, but we were talking about the LPGA and Wake Forest.

• 1:23:55Speaker 05

  Yes, yes. Thank you for the refresher. Yes. And I could, he was talking about the, the ladies amateur being held at Augusta.

• 1:24:04Speaker 04

  Which is picking up steam here.

• 1:24:06Speaker 05

  Which, which.

• 1:24:07Speaker 02

  I think one of the things I learned today is Baby's very proud to be on the board of Wake Forest.

• 1:24:11Speaker 05

  I am. It's an honor. It really is. It's an amazing institution.

• 1:24:15Speaker 02

  You told the person who made us a pimento cheese sandwich.

• 1:24:22Speaker 02

  I wonder, what is it? Your grandkids, your family, Wake Forest Board, Jon Stewart, and then way, way lower, all of those other clients.

• 1:24:31Speaker 05

  Okay, I'll go, I'll go with that.

• 1:24:33Speaker 02

  Way down.

• 1:24:34Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Okay.

• 1:24:34Speaker 02

  Jimmy's like under Jon Stewart.

• 1:24:35Speaker 05

  No, Jimmy's, of course.

• 1:24:39Speaker 02

  But this Wake Forest thing shot to the top. I mean, you were

• 1:24:42Bill Simmons?

  Remember when The Bachelor, Matt James was in there for like

• 1:24:45Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:24:46Bill Simmons?

  A year?

• 1:24:47Speaker 05

  That's the

• 1:24:47Bill Simmons?

  No, and he was like right there with Stuart.

• 1:24:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:24:50Bill Simmons?

  It's like neck and neck.

• 1:24:51Speaker 05

  He was

• 1:24:51Bill Simmons?

  You were dropping his name everywhere.

• 1:24:53Speaker 05

  Absolutely. Well, hey, you're only The Bachelor wants, right?

• 1:24:56Speaker 04

  There's one more baby. There's like so many baby dolls going. It's been a true joy getting to

• 1:25:01Bill Simmons?

  It's only been one day.

• 1:25:02Speaker 04

  It's been three days. It's just amazing. It feels like Christmas.

• 1:25:05Speaker 05

  What's this gonna be?

• 1:25:06Speaker 04

  So you disappeared quite often. You got in trouble for smoking cigarettes. That was also a highlight.

• 1:25:11Speaker 05

  Okay, fair enough. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:14Speaker 04

  But the real highlight was you disappeared and I think amongst the five of us, we're like, we're, what's, what's going on here? Why are you not here?

• 1:25:24Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:25:24Speaker 04

  And you come back and we all had to sort of eat crow because you bought us all hats.

• 1:25:28Speaker 05

  Yes, I did.

• 1:25:29Speaker 04

  And then

• 1:25:30Speaker 05

  It was worth the wait.

• 1:25:31Speaker 04

  But funny, can you describe what happened?

• 1:25:34Speaker 02

  Well, we had, we waited like a half hour for it, right? And like, what the hell?

• 1:25:38Bill Simmons?

  He said he needed a hat because the sun was hot. For some reason, he was scared about skin cancer for once.

• 1:25:44Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:25:45Bill Simmons?

  And decided to get a hat.

• 1:25:46Speaker 05

  I actually wanted this exact hat.

• 1:25:47Speaker 02

  Is that what it was?

• 1:25:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, because they didn't have it at the

• 1:25:50Speaker 02

  This was, he was in the pro shop for like an hour and a half and then 40 minutes later has to shop even more.

• 1:25:56Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:25:56Speaker 02

  It was like, worse than my wife. And then, yeah, so then he comes out and like Chang says, he starts throwing, he like gives us all hats. He's like, yeah, take a hat. He spent like $250 on

• 1:26:06Speaker 04

  And we're talking to some fans of

• 1:26:08Speaker 02

  Bills. This happening Bills. A guy smoking comes up, talks to Bill, says hi and baby doll. And I don't know how you said it, but you had an extra hat because so many of us had bought hats already 20 minutes before. And you throw it at the guy and you're like, here, you're smoking, take a hat.

• 1:26:25Bill Simmons?

  Here, have a hat. You almost stacked the cigarette ahead of us.

• 1:26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he's like, you almost hit me in the head. And you're like, well, you got a fucking free hat.

• 1:26:32Speaker 05

  Yeah, what are you complaining about? I mean, come on, dude. Or a fucking hat hurt your neck? What happened? You know?

• 1:26:40Bill Simmons?

  I think one of the masters is so polite.

• 1:26:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:43Bill Simmons?

  And when people would get mad at baby for smoking in areas that you weren't supposed to smoke in.

• 1:26:47Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:26:48Bill Simmons?

  It wasn't like, uh, sir, you're gonna have to put that out. It was more like a disappointed, sir, can you please?

• 1:26:56Speaker 05

  They're all so.

• 1:26:57Speaker 02

  There are smoking areas we could lead you to.

• 1:26:59Speaker 05

  Yes, there's, there's a designated smoking area over here. I can escort you.

• 1:27:04Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:04Speaker 05

  It's like, I just put it out already. Okay. You don't need to escort me. I'll be lighting one in about five minutes anyway. So.

• 1:27:11Bill Simmons?

  Baby, what's, what's the worst, most depressing designated smoking area you've ever smoked in? Have you smoked in those airport ones where it's like almost you're.

• 1:27:22Speaker 05

  In Europe where they used to have the like.

• 1:27:24Bill Simmons?

  It's, you're almost in like Andy Dufresne, like solitary confinement.

• 1:27:28Speaker 05

  A smoke chamber.

• 1:27:29Speaker 02

  A coma.

• 1:27:30Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yes, I have smoked in there. Of course.

• 1:27:34Speaker 05

  I used to go like, say to myself, why don't they have this in America? You know, I love that they have this in, in London.

• 1:27:40Bill Simmons?

  Smoke chambers?

• 1:27:41Speaker 05

  Yes, smoke chambers. It's like, they all have pet, pet walking relief areas. Why not have smoking areas?

• 1:27:49Bill Simmons?

  Did you used to smoke like on airplanes, trains, everything?

• 1:27:51Speaker 02

  Just gonna ask.

• 1:27:52Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:27:53Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:27:54Bill Simmons?

  And did people, did you ever like get in an argument with anybody?

• 1:27:56Speaker 05

  Hmm, you know, not really. No, because it was.

• 1:27:59Speaker 02

  It's legal.

• 1:28:00Speaker 05

  Legal.

• 1:28:01Speaker 02

  Can you imagine someone lighting up next to you on a plane?

• 1:28:03Bill Simmons?

  Imagine sitting next to baby on a train.

• 1:28:05Speaker 05

  Oh, my God.

• 1:28:06Bill Simmons?

  You're taking like the Exella from New York to Boston and he's just like lighting up.

• 1:28:10Speaker 05

  But those.

• 1:28:10Speaker 02

  You're like, oh, this cologne. I can't take this for a while. And what the fuck? What is this? A cigarette? What is he doing to me?

• 1:28:15Speaker 05

  Those were designated smoking sections. So if you were, all the planes were the worst. Not, not the planes, but like the trains. If you were in a smoking car, you know, not my problem at that point, right?

• 1:28:28Bill Simmons?

  I mean, that, that was an amazing era where, cause I would take the train back and forth between my mom and my dad.

• 1:28:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:34Bill Simmons?

  And you're going to walk to the cafe car and you just walk through the smoking car and it's just like lung cancer for.

• 1:28:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:28:40Bill Simmons?

  10 seconds.

• 1:28:41Speaker 05

  Where the planes were one row behind.

• 1:28:44Bill Simmons?

  Was not smoking.

• 1:28:45Speaker 05

  Right. You could smoke pipes, cigars, cigarettes. And if you're one row behind, it's like this is.

• 1:28:50Speaker 04

  But people would use the actual ashtray in the armrest.

• 1:28:53Speaker 05

  Absolutely. I love that fricking.

• 1:28:56Speaker 05

  I love that ashtray. I really did. They had them on the old cars too, remember? But, um, no, wait, you were asking me about.

• 1:29:05Bill Simmons?

  Most depressing smoking places.

• 1:29:07Speaker 05

  Depressing?

• 1:29:08Bill Simmons?

  Yeah. Well, because sometimes the smokers get relegated to the kids table of life.

• 1:29:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's not fair. Yeah, I'll tell you, the, the, the idea that I could smoke in the office up until like, it wasn't even that long by nine, by two, in two thousand, you could smoke in the office. So 25 years ago, you could even as an assistant, sitting in a cubicle in common areas. And I used to run like a fan under my desk to just like spread the, the, the, the, the smoke. But, uh, yeah, that was insane to think that you could do that. Now in New York City, it's 25 feet away from the building. So if you smoke near a building, you often get reprimanded.

• 1:29:54Bill Simmons?

  You've paid a smoking fee in a rental car like 50 times, right?

• 1:29:57Speaker 05

  Of course I have and hotels.

• 1:29:59Bill Simmons?

  Good for you. Baby gets offended if there's some sort of penalty for smoking in a rental car. He's just as soon.

• 1:30:05Speaker 05

  I, for the, for the, the percentage of how many rental cars I've had that I've smoked in and the times I've been nailed, I've done very, very well.

• 1:30:15Bill Simmons?

  Chang, what was it like to have a cigarette that your wife probably shouldn't know about with Baby Doll last night?

• 1:30:20Speaker 04

  You know, every time I see Baby Doll, Baby gives me a cigarette and it's just a joyous occasion. I sucked that thing down and it was awesome.

• 1:30:28Speaker 05

  Thank you. And you love that I have Marlboro Reds, right?

• 1:30:32Speaker 04

  I mean, listen, the only way you'd be cooler is if you smoked filterless cigarettes.

• 1:30:36Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, why don't you do that?

• 1:30:37Speaker 05

  Like the Italians?

• 1:30:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:38Bill Simmons?

  Step it up.

• 1:30:39Speaker 05

  They get your fingers yellow. That's, that's the problem with them. Otherwise I, I kind of like.

• 1:30:43Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, Baby's enough colors. He doesn't need to have yellow fingers.

• 1:30:46Speaker 05

  What is it?

• 1:30:47Bill Simmons?

  You have enough colors going on already.

• 1:30:49Speaker 05

  Change my orange fingers yellow. They're pretty good for smoking.

• 1:30:52Bill Simmons?

  My fingers be orange.

• 1:30:53Speaker 04

  No, like another thing that happened, it's been total joy.

• 1:30:56Bill Simmons?

  By the way, is he gonna come on Thursday night too? We'll probably have a thousand Baby Dolls.

• 1:31:00Speaker 05

  So it's gonna be the whole podcast.

• 1:31:02Speaker 04

  I mean, The Ringer has a great, uh, Podcast about TV shows and White Lotus.

• 1:31:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:09Speaker 04

  I think last night I almost pissed my pants because before we all went to bed, we were watching the last episode of season three, White Lotus all over again.

• 1:31:18Bill Simmons?

  Yes.

• 1:31:20Speaker 04

  I, I just couldn't stop laughing because I think that we need to have a alt cast of you.

• 1:31:28Bill Simmons?

  A Manning cast, that's the baby cast.

• 1:31:30Speaker 04

  Not safe for work.

• 1:31:31Speaker 05

  It's like a rewatchables, but live.

• 1:31:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. Cause you were the only one seeing it live.

• 1:31:38Speaker 05

  I'm not, right. I hadn't seen that episode.

• 1:31:40Bill Simmons?

  I'm not sure live would be the best idea, but maybe.

• 1:31:44Speaker 02

  Just, it would, it would need about 16 or 17 hours of editing.

• 1:31:47Bill Simmons?

  So we watched, but, but I think it would be good. We watched last night, we'd all seen it, but baby hadn't seen it. So we watched White Lotus with you. There was a couple.

• 1:31:54Speaker 04

  Wild, wild.

• 1:31:56Bill Simmons?

  I liked when he told the guy to jump at the end. Tim Ratliff is looking out.

• 1:32:01Speaker 05

  You were so. Well, he's gonna make them drink that shit. What the fuck? You trying to kill your kids?

• 1:32:06Speaker 04

  It's like you forgot.

• 1:32:07Speaker 05

  Been trying to kill yourself for nine episodes. Just fucking jump. Get it over with.

• 1:32:12Speaker 04

  It's like you forgot that we were in the room with you watching.

• 1:32:14Speaker 05

  Yes, I did.

• 1:32:16Speaker 04

  You were so.

• 1:32:16Speaker 05

  I, I had a few glasses of wine. I was tired from the day and.

• 1:32:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, there's a lot of strays on the White Lotus cast.

• 1:32:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:32:25Bill Simmons?

  Guy talk. You put some chest hair in him during the show.

• 1:32:29Speaker 05

  Guy talk.

• 1:32:29Bill Simmons?

  Told him to grow, grow a pair.

• 1:32:31Speaker 05

  Pussy.

• 1:32:34Speaker 05

  I've never seen a bigger pussy hold a gun, you know? It's like, come on.

• 1:32:44Bill Simmons?

  What, what other TV are you watching, baby? Before we go, any other favorites?

• 1:32:48Speaker 02

  He watches from the couch.

• 1:32:49Speaker 05

  Watched the first two episodes of Mobland. I thought it was amazing. Have you seen Mobland?

• 1:32:54Bill Simmons?

  I haven't seen it yet. How about 1923?

• 1:32:57Speaker 05

  Nah, I haven't seen that.

• 1:32:59Bill Simmons?

  Lot of smoking in that show.

• 1:33:00Speaker 05

  I loved Mobland.

• 1:33:02Bill Simmons?

  Mobland, okay.

• 1:33:03Speaker 05

  Yes. Second episode, you know, a lot of setup in episode one gets, and it's good. Second episode, you see where it's going. It's awesome. Tom Hardy is incredible.

• 1:33:16Speaker 02

  Who, who for your money is the best smoker in movies or TV?

• 1:33:19Bill Simmons?

  Oh, great question.

• 1:33:20Speaker 02

  As an actual smoker.

• 1:33:21Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:21Speaker 05

  You mean like in real life?

• 1:33:23Bill Simmons?

  No, no. Who, who pulls out smoke in the best?

• 1:33:27Speaker 05

  I'll tell you, Brad Pitt's pretty good at it.

• 1:33:30Bill Simmons?

  What?

• 1:33:31Speaker 05

  Doesn't he smoke in like, like in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

• 1:33:34Bill Simmons?

  He does like the, turns his hand.

• 1:33:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I like the way he smokes.

• 1:33:37Bill Simmons?

  Really? Damon, we just did Good Will Hunting for rewatchables and Damon's really good in that movie.

• 1:33:42Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 1:33:43Bill Simmons?

  And Cole Hauser in that movie, Chris Ryan did a whole thing about.

• 1:33:46Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 1:33:47Bill Simmons?

  How he, he gets rid of a cigarette, grabs a beer and waves them for the car on motion.

• 1:33:52Speaker 05

  Oh, very good. I gotta check that out.

• 1:33:54Speaker 04

  But De Niro is usually.

• 1:33:55Bill Simmons?

  De Niro to me is the goat. De Niro, Goodfellas, that's the best ever.

• 1:33:59Speaker 05

  Okay, fair enough. I'll go with that. Yeah.

• 1:34:01Bill Simmons?

  Remember the scene when he's sizing up Maury, when he decides to kill Maury?

• 1:34:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's just kinda staring him down, taking a slow drag. Yeah.

• 1:34:09Bill Simmons?

  There's been some bad smokers too.

• 1:34:11Speaker 05

  All right, who would be, well, who would be an example?

• 1:34:14Bill Simmons?

  Out of movies we've done in rewatchables, like there's a really tough Keanu Reeves hardball scene.

• 1:34:19Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 1:34:20Bill Simmons?

  He's trying to smoke. He's like a degenerate, but it's clear.

• 1:34:23Speaker 05

  You're right, though.

• 1:34:24Bill Simmons?

  But Tom Cruise is the worst. I mean.

• 1:34:25Speaker 05

  You can tell who the non, the real non-smokers are, who have never really smoked in their life, who are just smoking because the character.

• 1:34:35Speaker 04

  I think Keanu's a real smoker though.

• 1:34:37Speaker 05

  You think?

• 1:34:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:34:39Bill Simmons?

  He screwed up the hardball thing.

• 1:34:40Speaker 04

  Hmm. I don't know. In Constantine, he smokes a lot.

• 1:34:43Bill Simmons?

  The people like the Cruise type of people are always my favorites.

• 1:34:46Speaker 04

  Could you be brought on as a consultant, baby?

• 1:34:49Speaker 05

  A great smoker, a smoking consultant?

• 1:34:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, sure. I'd love to.

• 1:34:53Bill Simmons?

  Like they have doctors for ER.

• 1:34:55Speaker 05

  Cause I'm him, baby.

• 1:34:56Bill Simmons?

  I think it kinda is, yeah.

• 1:35:00Speaker 05

  Leo, Leonardo in, in Django Unchained.

• 1:35:05Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:06Speaker 05

  Playing Candy, Candy was his last name, but I can't remember his first.

• 1:35:11Bill Simmons?

  Not a great character.

• 1:35:12Speaker 05

  But he smoked with that cigarette holder.

• 1:35:15Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:16Speaker 05

  And man, he was good at it. He was really good.

• 1:35:19Bill Simmons?

  Cigarette holder?

• 1:35:21Speaker 05

  I have tried them when I was a kid. They're fucking ridiculous. I mean, I don't even know what that is. It's like.

• 1:35:26Speaker 04

  Baby, did you ever go through a phase where you rolled your own cigarettes?

• 1:35:29Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:35:30Speaker 04

  Never did?

• 1:35:31Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:35:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, how could you recreate a Marlboro, a work of fucking art, you know? You know my old joke, right?

• 1:35:39Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:35:41Speaker 05

  You know, you know the old joke.

• 1:35:42Bill Simmons?

  Is it offensive?

• 1:35:43Speaker 05

  No, not at all. Not at all. Baby doll, how much you smoke? I smoke a lot. No, seriously, how much you smoke? I smoke a lot. No, like seriously, how much do you smoke? Well, let me put it, let me put it to you this way. I go through two lighters a day.

• 1:36:01Bill Simmons?

  There you go.

• 1:36:01Speaker 05

  That was a Bill Hicks line that I adopted.

• 1:36:04Bill Simmons?

  You just said that's your joke.

• 1:36:05Speaker 05

  And no, well, I adopted it. May he rest in peace, but it does get people off when you do that joke. They stop asking how much you smoke. It just diffuses the whole thing.

• 1:36:15Bill Simmons?

  We asked you yesterday, what, what celebrity did you have the most cigarettes with over the last thirty five years? And Dennis, his name came up, Bill Hicks.

• 1:36:23Speaker 05

  Dennis Hicks was up there. Hicks was up there.

• 1:36:25Bill Simmons?

  Who was the one we decided?

• 1:36:26Speaker 05

  Oh, Chappelle.

• 1:36:27Bill Simmons?

  Chappelle.

• 1:36:27Speaker 05

  Oh, tons of cigarettes with Chappelle.

• 1:36:29Bill Simmons?

  I mean, Chappelle is what, like the, one of the all time.

• 1:36:31Speaker 05

  He's the greatest smoker of this generation.

• 1:36:34Speaker 04

  Better smoker or comedian?

• 1:36:37Bill Simmons?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:36:38Speaker 04

  Right?

• 1:36:39Speaker 05

  I mean, I, I'm gonna go with comedian because that's a real talent and he's, he's.

• 1:36:45Bill Simmons?

  Uh, don't say yourself, Sean.

• 1:36:46Speaker 05

  But what I love about Chappelle is he smokes everywhere he goes. It doesn't matter. Hotel rooms, wherever, lobbies of hotels, Studio Eight H on SNL.

• 1:37:01Bill Simmons?

  And he's like Snoop.

• 1:37:02Speaker 05

  It's a fire zone.

• 1:37:03Bill Simmons?

  With cigarettes, yeah.

• 1:37:04Speaker 05

  He's always smoking. Comedy clubs, you're not supposed to smoke in there anymore. He's got a cigarette going everywhere and may God have mercy on the soul of anybody who tells him, put that cigarette out.

• 1:37:16Bill Simmons?

  And you've actually spent real time with Chappelle. So if you did the ship, Dave, Dave, it's Baby Doll. He would actually stop and come over.

• 1:37:23Speaker 05

  Oh, come on, yo. He'd come over for, yeah, no, Dave, I've known since.

• 1:37:27Bill Simmons?

  I think you should have thrown a hat at Rory like you did that other guy. Maybe he would have gotten his attention that way.

• 1:37:33Speaker 05

  Don't give me ideas tomorrow. There's always tomorrow.

• 1:37:36Bill Simmons?

  Baby, before we go, what, what is your single favorite thing about Augusta? And try to turn toward these guys. So you're on the camera at least a little bit.

• 1:37:44Bill Simmons?

  Just getting the side of baby sand for twenty minutes.

• 1:37:46Speaker 05

  I'm not in show business. I have no idea.

• 1:37:48Bill Simmons?

  But I don't know that talent.

• 1:37:49Speaker 05

  Hold on. Let me think for a second because I love so much of it.

• 1:37:53Bill Simmons?

  Well, I'll, I'll talk to Chang about it. Why, as you, for some reason, think of your answer for two minutes. Chang, what's your favorite thing about Augusta? Because you're like a naturally kind of pessimistic guy.

• 1:38:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:38:04Bill Simmons?

  We've been friends for a long time. This place really.

• 1:38:07Speaker 04

  And you see where I'm, I'm like happy.

• 1:38:09Bill Simmons?

  Yeah, this place like really.

• 1:38:10Speaker 05

  But you said a whole thing in the car on the way to the course. About how incredible Augusta and the operation and the whole thing. You've kind of been inside the gates.

• 1:38:21Speaker 04

  I, I, I'm one of the, maybe the only person that's ever had behind the scenes access. Cause I filmed some stuff in like 2019 when Tiger won. And I think that it's number one, the best sporting event you can go to in America.

• 1:38:34Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:38:35Speaker 04

  It's the best run operation.

• 1:38:39Speaker 05

  Hundred percent.

• 1:38:39Speaker 04

  Business or anything otherwise, maybe out there.

• 1:38:42Speaker 05

  It's flawless.

• 1:38:43Speaker 04

  Everything is done with intention and it's executed at a high level.

• 1:38:48Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:38:49Speaker 04

  And I think it's just, I'm happy here. I just am and I'm not normally, as Bill know.

• 1:38:54Speaker 05

  I'm right with you. I mean, it's golf heaven. When you step on that course, it's like no other.

• 1:39:00Speaker 04

  But you don't even have to like golf to appreciate it.

• 1:39:03Speaker 05

  You don't, but, but if you love golf like, like we do, it's just, it's so unique. It's such a different, everything about it is so, it's like if you died and went to heaven and that was, that was.

• 1:39:19Bill Simmons?

  Like Field of Dreams, cornfield.

• 1:39:20Speaker 05

  It really, it is that. And, uh, and also like, I just love being around anything golf. And that is kind of the, this is the, the, the cradle and apex of golf and golf fans. And it's just my whole vibe, you know? Uh, I love.

• 1:39:38Bill Simmons?

  I was, I was thinking, cause I was thinking about it today, cause I'd been to, uh, I went to the US open. But I went to a couple of golf tournaments in the last couple of years.

• 1:39:46Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 1:39:47Bill Simmons?

  And all these other courses, like basically every other course that has a tournament. They're also, they, the tournament comes in and out. It's the courses and built for the tournament. It's built for 52 weeks a year of having members. And then they kind of shoehorn the tournament into it. And there'll be porta potties and weird cart paths and the parking's weird and things are disjointed. All this place cares about is this week, right? I mean, they have other stuff. They have the members and all that stuff, but it's all like a long game for this one week. And every single thing has to be perfect. From the moment you show up to when you walk toward the thing and you go through the gates. Every single thing you see. They really put thought into and I just, I appreciate that.

• 1:40:29Speaker 02

  I think it was like a combination that has an immaculate feel of Disneyland and like Central Park. And there's like you said, and I think it's because they're not different events moving in and out. There's no wasted space. Forget about the greens. You turn a corner and you're gonna see a shade of green you've never seen before. That's great too. But even the pathways and everything like you're talking about, like it doesn't seem like there's any wasted space. It's all beautiful.

• 1:40:52Bill Simmons?

  Well, and then we talked about this every time we come, but the no phone thing is actually a real advantage. Even Sal, we were worried about Sal.

• 1:40:59Speaker 02

  I think I did okay.

• 1:41:00Speaker 05

  Sal had withdrawal for the first like two hours.

• 1:41:02Speaker 02

  You did. Well, I went to my pocket like seven times in the first half hour.

• 1:41:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, you really were like jonesing for that phone.

• 1:41:08Bill Simmons?

  And then I felt like, you know, it was a little like, a little White Lotus-y when Saxon starts reading halfway through the season.

• 1:41:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:41:16Bill Simmons?

  And it's like, maybe there's more.

• 1:41:18Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:41:19Bill Simmons?

  Maybe that, maybe, maybe I can test myself. Yeah. And it's like, you were like, maybe I don't have to try to figure out how to bet on this practice round right now.

• 1:41:27Speaker 05

  You have to like, just kind of like acclimate yourself to where you were and like accept it and then go, okay, I'm, I'm.

• 1:41:35Speaker 02

  It helped that we were all talking to each other and making each other laugh. It's like when someone's sick and they're gonna vomit. You're like, all right, if you talk this person up, they're not gonna think about it. I don't have to focus on it, but.

• 1:41:44Bill Simmons?

  Chang, were you disappointed Sal didn't eat more?

• 1:41:46Speaker 02

  What are you talking, what?

• 1:41:48Speaker 04

  Number one.

• 1:41:49Bill Simmons?

  On the course. I mean, on the course.

• 1:41:51Speaker 04

  But for those that don't know, Sal is not a big drinker.

• 1:41:55Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:41:55Speaker 04

  And the fact that he started today with the Bloody Mary, I was like, this is an auspicious sign. It's gonna be a good week. Number one. Two, he ate a lot of food.

• 1:42:06Bill Simmons?

  Thank you.

• 1:42:06Speaker 04

  It was disgusting.

• 1:42:07Bill Simmons?

  Thank you.

• 1:42:08Speaker 04

  And then when you hit the course, you ate a pimento cheese sandwich and I knew you were full. I knew you were disgustingly full.

• 1:42:14Bill Simmons?

  Right.

• 1:42:14Speaker 04

  But you still waltzed down. And I was like, this guy is bringing, you're bringing your A game.

• 1:42:20Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:20Speaker 05

  For a buck fifty, he's not wasting that.

• 1:42:22Speaker 04

  People need to know the food here is amazing. It's affordable. You could buy 12 beers for $12. Where could you do that anywhere else?

• 1:42:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's only 3,000 to get in, but then they give, you know, for cheese and one, the bread they charge now.

• 1:42:33Speaker 05

  That's what makes the Masters so different. Touch on what you said, Bill, which is, you know, it's the only, obviously the only major that's always in the same location, right? So that alone sets it apart from all the other majors and. Like everyone's just so fucking happy to be there.

• 1:42:51Bill Simmons?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:51Speaker 05

  Cause it is expensive and you have to, you know, get to it and like it's, it's a bucket list place that at least half those people, at least half are there for the first time. And everybody's just like, holy shit, pinch me. I, I did it.

• 1:43:09Bill Simmons?

  Well, listen, I, all I'll have to say is, as the great Terry Coon said in White Lotus, I'm happy to have a seat at the table, but I am going to make a mess at that seat with bread and rice and cheese and everything else. When I get up.

• 1:43:22Speaker 05

  I so hope Sal finishes last in the pick so that, so that we can load down a

• 1:43:30Bill Simmons?

  Good chance.

• 1:43:31Speaker 05

  Mento pulled pork.

• 1:43:33Speaker 04

  Egg salad.

• 1:43:34Speaker 05

  Egg salad.

• 1:43:35Speaker 04

  Chicken biscuit.

• 1:43:36Speaker 05

  Chicken biscuit. What else?

• 1:43:37Speaker 04

  BLT. It's the Masters Club, which is like a BLT.

• 1:43:41Bill Simmons?

  I mean, that sounds great. Now I, I hope I finish last too now. You put it that way.

• 1:43:47Bill Simmons?

  We're going to be back Thursday for more stuff.

• 1:43:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:50Bill Simmons?

  Chang, you have a beautiful face. Sal, you have a beautiful life.

• 1:43:58Bill Simmons?

  Baby, you're just beautiful in general.

• 1:44:01Speaker 05

  So are you, baby.

• 1:44:02Bill Simmons?

  Thank you. Uh, thank you to you three. Thanks to House of Nathan as well. Thanks to Gao and Kyle.

• 1:44:07Speaker 05

  So.

• 1:44:07Bill Simmons?

  And Eduardo for helping us out today in the, uh, on the pod and we're going to be back on Thursday. Don't forget to check out the Prestige TV podcast and, uh, the rewatchables as well. If you missed White Lotus, if you missed our rewatchables, we did on the Saint with Val Comer. And, uh, and I hope you're checking out Celtic City on Max as well. We will see you on Thursday.

• 1:44:53Bill Simmons?

  Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and present in DC. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-887-897777 or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gambling helpline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-8778-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York. This episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures Wild Horse 9. John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell, I like those guys, star in the sharp-witted comedy thriller from Academy

• 1:45:37Bill Simmons?

  Award winner Martin McDonagh, writer-director of The Banshees of Minneh Sharon and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, set in the 1970s, filmed on location on Easter Island. Malkovich and Rockwell play CIA agents Chris and Lee who are caught in a dangerous game of secrets and survival. Also starring Steve Buscemi, another one of my guys, Parker Posey and Tom Waits. Wild Horse 9 is being hailed by critics as a revitalizing shot of pure entertainment and easily one of the best films of the year. Don't miss Wild Horse 9. Only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now.