Ep 555 - Roundball Rock (feat. Steve Gerben)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Good morning everybody. Hope you're all having a good week. The King hath returned. Steve Gerbies blesses the cast yet again. Praise Be. Tires season 2 comes out June 5th on Netflix. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Wild Wild West.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 0:03Speaker 02

  Okay, let's go.

• 0:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, did you see the Terrence Howard thing where he talked about how the man's like, uh, kinda center of structural integrity is his butthole? And he claims P. Diddy was trying to compromise him and make him like fluid. Said, once you get, he's like, once you compromise your center of integrity, which is your butthole, you become fluid and like nothing, you get all fucked up.

• 0:25Speaker 00

  Center of not physical integrity.

• 0:27Matt McCusker?

  Of your man, your manhood.

• 0:28Speaker 00

  Actual integrity.

• 0:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's a mathematician. So he was saying like you're like the geometry, like the underpinning of your structural manhood is your butthole. Yeah.

• 0:37Speaker 00

  Like, yeah.

• 0:38Matt McCusker?

  But it's also, it's mental too.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  The center of gravity, he thinks is your butthole.

• 0:41Matt McCusker?

  Is your butthole and once you.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  Which by the way, I can't prove him wrong.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  It's something to it, man.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  Sounds like he's right again.

• 0:48Matt McCusker?

  Who? Terrence Howard, mathematician.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  Hustle and Flow.

• 0:52Matt McCusker?

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, boy.

• 0:55Speaker 00

  Hustle and Flow guy that's now a super genius.

• 0:57Matt McCusker?

  Okay. He claims Diddy went for this, his bee hole.

• 1:02Matt McCusker?

  Under like the thing of like lessons, he was giving him like, you know, acting lessons. Said Diddy was just like looking at him wrong. He's like, this guy's trying to fuck my ass. Take away the geometry of my manhood. So.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Sounds like a nightmare story to have to listen to. Saying to you.

• 1:22Matt McCusker?

  You don't think he went for Terrence Howard's butthole?

• 1:24Speaker 02

  But it doesn't sound like, it sounds like Terrence Howard thinks that he

• 1:29Speaker 02

  wanted to.

• 1:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  He might have.

• 1:31Speaker 00

  But he, if there's anybody out there that might've wanted to, I would say Diddy's a prime suspect.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  I can't, I can't follow what's going on because it sounds like.

• 1:41Matt McCusker?

  A lot of people saying he tried to fuck him in the ass.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:44Matt McCusker?

  What do you think? Free Diddy?

• 1:46Speaker 00

  There's a lot of rumors going around that Diddy's trying to destroy men's structural integrity.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  I understand those rumors. It sounded like the way that the story was being told was that Terrence Howard.

• 1:57Speaker 00

  Assumed it.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Right, assumed it.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:59Matt McCusker?

  Well, his, he had like a assistant that was, he was like, what's up with him? He's like, oh, Diddy's trying to fuck you. So his assistant was the one who told him like, yo, this is what.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  Was that guy Mr. Bentley or what was that guy's name?

• 2:10Speaker 02

  It just gets more complicated.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  Fonzworth Bentley?

• 2:14Matt McCusker?

  He's like, my boss is trying to fuck your ass. Get the fuck out of here. Run, go now.

• 2:21Matt McCusker?

  That's a fair point, though. Maybe he wasn't trying to fuck his ass.

• 2:25Matt McCusker?

  Do you think if someone gets their ass, do you think if someone gets their ass fucked, it does compromise like their manhood from a like it to where like affects your posture and shit like you move differently after that? Do I think that? No. Really? Yeah, no. Do you have any proof?

• 2:39Speaker 00

  I have, I have a counter argument.

• 2:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  Uh, gay guys walk different.

• 2:47Matt McCusker?

  It's true.

• 2:48Speaker 00

  I think it actually helps your structural integrity. The posture goes way up.

• 2:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  Once you get parked.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  Sure, you just, you start wearing that sweater vest differently.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:59Matt McCusker?

  It starts looking way different on you. We had a thing in grade school that like if like, do you ever have it with like kids where it's like, yo, a lady's walking, like if a lady walked a certain way, like she had sex before.

• 3:10Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:10Matt McCusker?

  We would just do it with all the moms, but yo, like all the moms that come to special lunch, but yo, she definitely had sex before.

• 3:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, if you walk with your feet a little bit more apart, that's all you could tell a girl had sex.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  It's, once again, these are tough to refute.

• 3:26Matt McCusker?

  I, dude, I kind of hold to it.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:29Matt McCusker?

  If I see any, if I see a woman go, yeah, anywhere near shoulder width apart, I'm going, what the fuck?

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:35Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck are you doing?

• 3:38Speaker 00

  Slut?

• 3:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Your mom's here to help with pizza lunch, like, yo, your mom got fucked, dude.

• 3:45Speaker 00

  Speaking of sluts, how about the space sluts?

• 3:47Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I, how did I not know about that?

• 3:50Speaker 00

  I don't know. I think I saw it this morning and it's, it's been bothering me.

• 3:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's, uh.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  It's affected me a lot.

• 3:56Matt McCusker?

  Also, Bezos, for all of that work, he just looks like a trash man. He has like the body of like a Philadelphia trash man. He's on like billions of dollars of TRT and gene therapies.

• 4:08Speaker 00

  Just to become a WAP. He's transformed, he's, he's fully just a guy at Wawa.

• 4:14Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 4:15Speaker 00

  That's all he is. That might've been the biggest attempt to get rid of your, your wife ever.

• 4:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  Just being like, I built this spaceship. I'm gonna launch you up there.

• 4:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 4:26Speaker 00

  With Gayle King.

• 4:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and it's fucked up because he'd have another wife pretty fast. If he blew his wife up in outer space.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, he'd have a wife before the rubble hit Earth.

• 4:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, sending your wife in outer space is crazy. But yeah, dude, I don't know. He needs to tighten up his program.

• 4:47Speaker 00

  He was probably bummed out when he saw that thing landing.

• 4:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 4:50Speaker 00

  Fuck, I was almost out of that one.

• 4:52Matt McCusker?

  It's also annoying because then that hits like girl consciousness, like, man, when you get out of space, you're like, dude, you'll never go to fucking.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  Jeff took his wife to outer space.

• 5:01Matt McCusker?

  She had a lunch with him. Yeah, I, I, I don't like this thing of sending ladies to space at all. It's also not historic, it's not like a historical. It's not.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  You did say that.

• 5:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they sent a fucking chimp. The Russian sent chimps to space. Sorry, ladies, you guys missed the fucking boat.

• 5:19Speaker 00

  What's that dog's name?

• 5:21Speaker 02

  It was like an L.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  Fuck, I know that dog.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Starts with an L. The Russian dog?

• 5:27Speaker 00

  What's that dog's name?

• 5:30Matt McCusker?

  The dog that went to space?

• 5:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:32Matt McCusker?

  I don't know.

• 5:33Speaker 00

  Laker.

• 5:34Matt McCusker?

  Space dog?

• 5:37Matt McCusker?

  Space dog?

• 5:37Speaker 00

  The doll with the space on?

• 5:40Matt McCusker?

  It's also sad that they went to space and just did like Instagram.

• 5:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:44Matt McCusker?

  There's in there going like.

• 5:44Speaker 00

  Katy Perry is standing in front of a camera instead of looking out at the universe.

• 5:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 5:50Speaker 00

  She's like, it's not about me. And then she's up in space, literally staring directly into a camera.

• 5:54Matt McCusker?

  I know, especially once you say it's not about me, like for the fifth time, it's like, all right, it might actually be all about you.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  Her singing up there?

• 6:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, she got up there and sang, uh.

• 6:05Matt McCusker?

  What a wonderful world.

• 6:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  Good.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  That's what we need.

• 6:13Matt McCusker?

  Although, what kind, is that like, is that trending on Twitter right now?

• 6:17Speaker 00

  That song?

• 6:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, no, I'm saying just like going to space, the fact that they went to space is like.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think it was pretty.

• 6:22Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty big.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I think people are more just, they have our opinion about it.

• 6:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that stunk.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  They're like, that stinks.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  That sucked that we did that.

• 6:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and it also, yeah, just to be like, we're gonna go to space just to like, for a movement for women to take up more space. It's like, dude, did you ever live with a woman? They fuck, they're doing all right.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, space is instantly theirs.

• 6:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they're taking up space already.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  It's like living with a mare. And goes, oh, the office is my room now.

• 6:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Well, it's just not even a cause, it's not a real cause. It's like, this is for women to take up more space. Like, what do you mean by that? And they, it'd be like, I don't know, man. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

• 7:03Speaker 00

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• 7:04Matt McCusker?

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• 7:11Speaker 00

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• 7:20Matt McCusker?

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• 7:40Speaker 00

  Incredible. This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 7:44Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 7:44Speaker 00

  What do you know about Quince?

• 7:45Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cot, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 7:56Speaker 00

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• 8:21Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  That's a bargain.

• 8:23Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns, now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show. Why ask me, what do you think about that? You think women, you think they need to be more confined?

• 8:50Speaker 00

  Do you think they should be confined or occupy more space?

• 8:54Speaker 02

  I don't like, I don't.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  Come on, you can do it.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  Occupy more space.

• 8:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:59Matt McCusker?

  In what, in what regard?

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Why are they confined?

• 9:01Speaker 00

  True, tires, June 5th.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  True what?

• 9:05Speaker 00

  Tires, June 5th.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, tires, June 5th, yeah, sure.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, women need to occupy more space.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Of course they do.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  Watch tires.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  They should be, they should, if they choose, if they want to, of course. You know.

• 9:15Matt McCusker?

  If they want to take up more space.

• 9:17Speaker 00

  You don't want to confine them?

• 9:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:19Speaker 00

  You don't ever want to confine your woman?

• 9:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:22Matt McCusker?

  What are your thoughts on foot training?

• 9:23Speaker 02

  It was a what?

• 9:24Matt McCusker?

  Foot training.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Foot training?

• 9:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 9:27Matt McCusker?

  Like binding their feet?

• 9:29Speaker 02

  I don't support forcible foot training. If somebody wants to foot train?

• 9:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 9:35Matt McCusker?

  Their daughter?

• 9:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  What if your two-year-old said, I want to foot train?

• 9:44Speaker 00

  Would you say yes?

• 9:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:47Matt McCusker?

  Why?

• 9:48Speaker 00

  So you're against trains?

• 9:55Speaker 00

  What if your public school teacher came and told you, your daughter wants to foot train?

• 10:00Speaker 02

  I would say, let's, let's just wrap the foot gently. You know, like wearing a cape.

• 10:06Speaker 00

  Trick them.

• 10:09Matt McCusker?

  Did you see that softball underbelly where the guy lost? Like, he had a son and his wife was like, our son's a daughter. He's like, no, it's not. And then she just got, she divorced him and then the school was like, yo, it's on.

• 10:20Speaker 00

  Schools are going.

• 10:21Matt McCusker?

  Bro, they need to chill, dude, they need to chill. I don't understand, like, the hype up on it. If I'm a teacher and I'm like trying to like just get them to pay attention to geography, the last thing I need on my plate is like, what are we doing? Yeah, I got that.

• 10:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, but there could be a deeper, like, you're trying to get them to pay attention to geography and they are acting up every day and you go, okay.

• 10:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and the girls are all being so good.

• 10:44Speaker 00

  Fuck your shit up.

• 10:47Matt McCusker?

  It's just a class, I think they're just being lazy because girls are easier at school. Like if you're a boy, school sucks. If you're a girl, you're like, I actually like it. I have all my pencils organized. So I could, if I was, if I was a teacher, I'd be like, we need more of these girls.

• 10:59Speaker 00

  That's very true. They tried Adderall for years and they're like, you know what? Fuck it.

• 11:05Matt McCusker?

  Teachers are just on Adderall organizing the class. It'd be much more efficient if these were all women in here. I don't see the point. I don't see what's wrong with that. And also, yeah, the sports. I was, I was on PITM yesterday. We were talking about. What's that? Panties in the mouth podcast. Okay. Premier.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Right up your alley, doesn't it?

• 11:21Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 11:22Speaker 00

  You've been known to stuff some PITM?

• 11:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I love it. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's good.

• 11:29Speaker 00

  He actually does.

• 11:34Matt McCusker?

  Panties in the mouth on Patreon. What happened? I've just been saying it for years. That's a pretty cool thing to do.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  Stuff a girl's.

• 11:39Matt McCusker?

  She's in, yeah.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  Stuff a girl's under, underpants into her mouth.

• 11:42Matt McCusker?

  If they're into it, yeah. If they're into it. Yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  While you're poorly fucking her.

• 11:46Matt McCusker?

  What if you're just like, what if you're just working at their house and you see him on the floor and you're just going. Which is my own. But that's kind of.

• 11:54Speaker 00

  It's snack time, yeah.

• 11:54Matt McCusker?

  They're going to get washed. They're about to get washed. Why, like, what does that matter? I mean, they're about to get washed. So like theoretically, they're clean. Say you're working at a house, like you're doing like, you know, you're a plumber and you come, you go in like to fix the laundry machine. You just see dirty underwear. Do you think a person has a right to stuff them?

• 12:09Speaker 00

  I could gobble these.

• 12:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah. You don't ask for a tip though. No tip. You just, you gobble the panties when no one was looking. No tip. I also don't know if you tip.

• 12:18Speaker 00

  Even if you don't even know the woman.

• 12:20Matt McCusker?

  Even if I've never even seen her.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Really? So you don't even know her age?

• 12:24Matt McCusker?

  They gotta be pretty big.

• 12:33Matt McCusker?

  I plead the fifth.

• 12:34Speaker 00

  But yeah. Turn the mic off on that.

• 12:37Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, we were, we were talking about coaches starting to get competitive in women's sports and just like, like how college coaches hear of like a player's good and they go and kind of scout the house.

• 12:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:46Matt McCusker?

  Just like, there's like a fucking fast gay kid in your neighborhood and you're like, I could get him on the girls. You get him on the girls, Marcy.

• 12:54Speaker 00

  You see him running like Forrest Gump in front of a truck. People like, get out of here.

• 12:58Matt McCusker?

  Bring the briefcase to his family's house. Like, let's just have dinner.

• 13:03Matt McCusker?

  This kid could dominate.

• 13:04Speaker 00

  Mm hmm.

• 13:05Matt McCusker?

  But what are your, what are your thoughts on that kind of stuff?

• 13:08Speaker 02

  I, I, I, on what kind of stuff? I, I didn't even see what happened over there. And it turns into like, if she's there on a job site, what? So who's?

• 13:18Matt McCusker?

  We're talking about how there's a thing going on right now where all of these girls are becoming boys and dominating men's sports.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:24Matt McCusker?

  Causing a fucking uproar.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  And it's huge in the podcast sphere.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  This is what we talk about.

• 13:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  I thought, wasn't this like a year ago that?

• 13:31Matt McCusker?

  No, it's still happening.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  No, it was girl, it was boys.

• 13:34Speaker 00

  It's been a few years of us talking about it.

• 13:35Matt McCusker?

  Boys becoming girls, boys becoming girls. Now there's a lot of girls becoming boys and just cleaning up fucking boys in men's sports.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  No way.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Oh, thank you.

• 13:45Speaker 00

  That's not true.

• 13:47Matt McCusker?

  That's Russian disinformation.

• 13:48Speaker 00

  That is Russian, that's actually Russian disinformation.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, this is on camera. It's just a deep, you know, it's a deep, okay.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Couch.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  If anybody was just listening to this, I, I tried to get up to get to the, yeah.

• 14:01Matt McCusker?

  How was the Masters?

• 14:01Speaker 00

  He laid on the ground. That's what I'd like to talk about.

• 14:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, how was the Masters?

• 14:04Speaker 00

  How was the Masters?

• 14:05Speaker 02

  Well, I, you know, really, so we, we should start by saying how much I appreciate

• 14:12Speaker 00

  No, no, it's.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  The, like what Shane did to get us to the Masters.

• 14:15Speaker 00

  True.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  Because, and I did say like a year and a half ago, I was like, if you could ever use your powers for me, I'd love to go to the Masters. And then he made that happen.

• 14:23Speaker 00

  That's awesome.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  And it's unbelievably.

• 14:24Speaker 00

  And what did I ask for in return? Six beers.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Oh God, no, I don't even want.

• 14:29Speaker 00

  By the way, everyone at the Masters had heard that.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Everywhere we went, dudes were like, how many beers has he had?

• 14:36Speaker 02

  It was a nightmare.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  I started defending him where I was like, guys, just leave him alone. He's only ever won.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  And then he would laugh at, because then like the moment guys would come up to him, I would just walk away. And then, and then he would be like, look at him over there applying sunscreen, trying to act like he's busy.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  No, not even, not even a spray.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Blathering.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  Deodorant stick of sunscreen.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  No, no, it doesn't get all over your hands.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  It's fucking crazy.

• 15:03Matt McCusker?

  You're doing like the UG from Camp Onawana.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  What?

• 15:06Speaker 00

  Camp Onawana, we hold you in our heart.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  What?

• 15:09Matt McCusker?

  Did you ever see Slur your Shorts?

• 15:11Speaker 02

  What?

• 15:11Speaker 00

  Did you ever see Slur your Shorts?

• 15:13Matt McCusker?

  The show.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  I know.

• 15:14Speaker 00

  All right.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  Hey, this honestly, it sounds like Mad Libs.

• 15:17Matt McCusker?

  No, it's not. It was a show on Nickelodeon when we were younger.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  Oh, I didn't have cable till I was like 13.

• 15:21Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. What?

• 15:27Speaker 02

  We got cable news, the X Games, and that was incredibly exciting.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  You got to see X Games right away? That was the first, you're like a Soviet.

• 15:35Speaker 00

  You got everything at once, you turned 13, and we're like, holy shit.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  Uh, but no, the Masters, I didn't, so I was trying to hold my tongue.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:45Speaker 00

  Cause I knew it was big for Kirby's.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:49Speaker 00

  I just, I don't give a fuck about golf.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 00

  I really wanted to.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  You can't see anything.

• 15:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, you couldn't see a fucking thing. How does that work? Did you pick a spot?

• 15:58Speaker 02

  I, I don't know how anybody, you just, like, the best you could do is park up at a hole, and then you, you get to watch that, if you could see.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  And then, you know, that's like a hit on the green, we were, we were at 16.

• 16:11Speaker 00

  There were some, there were some awesome spots, like, was that six? That was a par three?

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:16Speaker 00

  That was great.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  That, but I couldn't see anything.

• 16:19Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  So like, if you could see all the-

• 16:20Speaker 00

  Well, he's also, he can't see. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  So, we did get to 16.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  You go fucking blind guy to the Masters.

• 16:29Speaker 00

  He couldn't see a single thing. I was like, it's beautiful out. He was like, is it?

• 16:35Speaker 00

  Uh, Neo Con Man, last second, got a ticket. What? Yeah, the Neo Con Man got in with us. Nice. Yeah, it was a miracle. That's awesome. The people at CAA just were like, Getting the ticket. Alright, here you go, you can have this. That's tight. So he, you know, but he was planning on not going, so he had already started drinking a little. Yeah. He was ready to lock down by himself at Hooters for the entire day, which I couldn't have been more jealous. That's kind of nice, actually. I could not have been more jealous. It's also nice to be at the bar, my buddies are there, right? Yeah, and also be like, I have to be here. Yeah. There's nowhere else I can go, I just, True. They drop me off, I gotta stay here until the sun goes down. From noon to fucking 8pm at a Hooters.

• 17:15Speaker 02

  And, and then you, you can't have cell phones, which sounds great, but you, like, it, it's almost like a movie where, you know, you're with somebody and then a bus passes, and then that person's gone.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, we got lost a couple of times. Did you really?

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, it's just 100,000 people moving around, and everybody's dressed alike, everybody's dressed like golfers.

• 17:35Speaker 00

  Every single person is dressed like a golfer. Yeah, yeah, I figured that.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Everyone was extremely nice.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:44Speaker 00

  Everyone was great. The staff, everybody that worked there was awesome. Other than the bathroom, you go in there.

• 17:48Speaker 02

  That was a very different experience.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  It's prison in there. It literally became prison. So the only black people I saw.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  Were people, the bathroom attendants. That the second you go in the bathroom, it's like, one or two, one or two, one, two, get in there. Like just hurry up, go.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then they yelled, they yelled at me because there's like a wall, walls of urinals. And I'm like walking down the, you know, the center and then one would open up and the guy would be like, keep going all the way to the end. And then I'd try and bank again. Keep going all the way to the end. They just keep yelling at you until you, and then they were yelling at the next person.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  The stalls were like a cell block like. No, it really, it for real was. It was crazy.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:29Speaker 00

  What the fuck? Then he walked back outside and it's paradise. It's the most beautiful place you've ever seen. They go, hold on, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Get the fuck down.

• 18:38Matt McCusker?

  Why do they need that level of organization there?

• 18:41Speaker 00

  They love, it was very organized.

• 18:43Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda cool.

• 18:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 18:45Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 18:45Speaker 00

  It was intense. The bathroom lines were quick though.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  They were quick?

• 18:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was very efficient.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. It does feel like a trick. A lot of people are kind of like, it's this unbelievable experience and the foods, you know, inexpensive.

• 18:56Speaker 00

  Food could go fuck itself.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:58Speaker 00

  And it was like, wait till you try the cheese sandwich. It's only a dollar fifty. Turns out they got that price exactly right. That thing was a dollar fucking fifty cheese sandwich.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  It sucks.

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Chicken sandwich. Freezing cold.

• 19:13Matt McCusker?

  That's so fucking funny.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  I don't wanna shit on the Masters because it was awesome.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:18Speaker 00

  And everyone there was nice.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  It would have been amazing to watch.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  On TV.

• 19:23Matt McCusker?

  I actually caught a bunch of it. I was in, uh, San Antonio in the green room. It was just on the TV.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:27Matt McCusker?

  It was all great. Rose was dominating. One guy got stuck in like a bush. You see that? Where you got like stuck in a fucking bush and had to sit down for a while.

• 19:34Speaker 00

  That was O'Connor.

• 19:38Speaker 00

  O'Connor laying down. Yeah, we were at the eighteenth. So they went into extra, I guess playoffs at the end because it was tied. So apparently it was, they played the eighteenth again and then the tenth and then the eighteenth? Or just eighteenth, then ten, and then eighteenth?

• 19:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:58Matt McCusker?

  Who won?

• 19:59Speaker 00

  Uh, Rory.

• 19:59Matt McCusker?

  Rory, oh wow, okay.

• 20:01Speaker 00

  But, uh, so we posted up at the 18th tee box, just in case it went.

• 20:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  To an extra round and we could see them tee off. Uh, so we were at the end, we could, a mile away, the guy won.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  And there was like five, Chris was laying on the grass farting.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  And we were like, get up dude, he's like, ah. He's just rolling around on it. Yeah, it was a, it was a fucking disastrous trip.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  John said it was like a bachelor party. Because there was a, because Chris got hammered. We would get lost, be like, where did you go? Where did you go?

• 20:38Speaker 00

  There was a lot of lost fights.

• 20:39Speaker 02

  When we went back to the plane, I, I cried on the plane.

• 20:42Matt McCusker?

  That's so fucking funny.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  He cried on the plane.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  No, I got, I had a panic attack.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  Right before takeoff, he was, I'm gonna just get a hotel here and drive, I gotta go.

• 20:53Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 20:54Speaker 00

  Sit down, Gerby baby.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:56Matt McCusker?

  But you were so helpful, John and Chris, and then, then the pilot.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Pilot was very helpful, but the, during his panic attack, I was like, would it help if I blast Drake? And he was like, no. And he's just completely honest, like, I fucking hate Drake and you play it all the time and you play it too loud.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  He does, he plays it too loud, all his music's too loud.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Have you ever been in a car?

• 21:23Speaker 02

  It's nuts.

• 21:27Matt McCusker?

  That would, that is not good for a panic attack, Drake for a panic attack.

• 21:30Speaker 00

  That's why I said it though, I was like, would it help you if I blast music?

• 21:33Speaker 02

  And you were the first like, because I had a, like a racist, you know, theory, which was, which was like.

• 21:41Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 21:42Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, there was just like, there was just like, black people take a while to like, get a car, like, when you get in the car, you know, like getting out of a car. Sorry, it's just a thought, it's a thing that I thought.

• 21:53Matt McCusker?

  That's fine.

• 21:54Speaker 00

  Black people take a long time getting in and out of cars.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's like a lot of like, I don't know, and then you did it.

• 22:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  And I was like, what the fuck's going on? Just start the car.

• 22:05Matt McCusker?

  Saying, you're waiting for a parking spot at the mall, you're like, what the fuck are you doing?

• 22:08Speaker 02

  What?

• 22:08Matt McCusker?

  You're like, waiting for a parking spot, you're saying?

• 22:10Speaker 02

  No, no, it's like with him, like, this was back when you had your Corolla. And I didn't know how bad it was to critique you.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  You got in it and then, and then I got in, I buckled up. We were gonna go get coffee. And then you like take out your phone and you're like doing this.

• 22:29Speaker 00

  You gotta get the music going.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Right. And I was like, what are you doing? And you're like picking a song. Let's go. And so anyway, it just abused me that. I said, here's a white guy does it.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 00

  I do a lot of black stereotypes.

• 22:45Speaker 00

  Think of one.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Think of one?

• 22:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  One of them fiddling around in their cars is so funny. They fiddle.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  You do critique my driving. You critique the parking.

• 23:02Speaker 00

  I can you imagine being in a car?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  I talked shit the other day.

• 23:05Speaker 00

  I would love to see you drive.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Well, you've seen me drive.

• 23:08Speaker 00

  It's probably chaos.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  No, but you nailed exactly the, because you, when I drive, because you know, with my vision and I almost, and I know.

• 23:17Speaker 00

  Can't see.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Can, but it's just like, I like to be doubly sure. And you were like, you're looking way too far to, you know, like if I'm gonna pull out, I really make sure there's no people. I gave someone a scare one time and then I, I, you know.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  So.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  And what music do you listen to?

• 23:39Speaker 02

  The engine. I just.

• 23:40Speaker 00

  Silence?

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:41Speaker 00

  You don't listen to music in your car?

• 23:43Speaker 02

  Occasionally I do.

• 23:44Speaker 00

  Like what?

• 23:45Speaker 02

  You know what?

• 23:46Speaker 00

  I honestly don't.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  Oh, it's like, you know.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Pirates of the Caribbean, like I got, you know, I get hit with like.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  What did I get here?

• 23:55Speaker 00

  More fucking real, dude.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  Yo, you know that song?

• 23:58Speaker 00

  NBA theme song.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  Yeah. Discover Weekly is phenomenal.

• 24:04Speaker 00

  You're Discover Weekly? You're Discover Weekly's Pirates of the Caribbean and the NBA theme song.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. And, uh, yeah, John Test song is great. But, you know.

• 24:19Speaker 00

  Damn, that was probably right when you got cable too.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  They were using it back then.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  There is a YouTube channel that plays like soft jazz at all. Just like a piano and, yeah.

• 24:32Speaker 00

  It's not bad. So it's just like chill?

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 24:36Speaker 00

  Nice. I guess coming from that, which is the whitest way on earth to drive. I probably seen black as hell in my car.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  That's you drive too white. Quiet is nuts. Quiet's nuts.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  I'm just kidding. What?

• 24:54Speaker 00

  Silence is crazy to me in a car, for the most part.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  I don't think so. I mean, I get it. I get it.

• 24:59Speaker 00

  But listening to Pirates of the Caribbean theme song. And driving around.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  No.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  I mean, it's just that's not the only thing. And like also like a Hans Zimmer mix, but it's.

• 25:14Speaker 00

  A Hans Zimmer mix.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  You ever tell me Hans Zimmer isn't amazing? I, I do think that's like.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  Maybe like while I'm watching a movie. Yeah.

• 25:24Matt McCusker?

  It is nice to be in a parking lot and have like a dramatic, uh, like soundtrack swell. They're so, they take for fucking ever.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Oh no, I'm gone. I'm somewhere else.

• 25:37Speaker 00

  Man, you must, driving in Philly, you must have had a tough time.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, driving.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Cause the killer bees are out.

• 25:43Speaker 02

  I don't know what you're talking about.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  The bees.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Shane, but listen, but hold on.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  I did have, you know.

• 25:58Speaker 02

  There was, there were some teenagers on bicycles.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  And holy Toledo. Cause you, cause you know when you're coming into the.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  You know, you're coming in.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  Teens on bikes?

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 26:12Speaker 00

  Were they Bs or Ws?

• 26:15Speaker 02

  You know, the Ws.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  So you're coming to the R museum.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Oh, there was some bees, bees by the R museum.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Children, children, it doesn't matter. So, but you know, but, but it's what it is. And they're on their bikes. And then like right as the green light and I start going one, like hardcore darts at the truck and then I like, whoa. And then.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then I was saying to my girl, I'm like, if. He collided with the car, I'm finished. I mean, like, cause I can't stop. It's gonna be like.

• 26:52Speaker 00

  You're gonna hit and run.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  It's gonna be LA riots. It's gonna be, you know?

• 26:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:55Speaker 02

  And, and or then I'm, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna drive then I'm gonna hit and run. So then I, I was like, I would drive to a police station. Then I start going through all that. But yeah, it's terrifying.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  Yeah. You have to turn yourself in.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  And I was like, I'm never driving in this city again.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  I ruined that afternoon.

• 27:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you gotta be careful. That's, yeah, you can, you can get really, if you hit one of those kids, you get in a lot of trouble.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  Yes. And.

• 27:23Matt McCusker?

  You're like a lot of businesses could explode if you.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  And I have, I, I, I'm very like, uh, blitz, like, like I get, you know, picked on.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  You get harassed.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  So I remember when I got can't, like candy mugged at Halloween.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:36Speaker 00

  You got, yeah.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  I got candy mugged.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  The ghetto boys got it.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  When I was.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  And it wasn't even close to Halloween.

• 27:43Matt McCusker?

  Did you hold out the bowl?

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:45Matt McCusker?

  No, yeah, I learned in my lesson in hard work at that as well.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  You can't do that.

• 27:48Matt McCusker?

  You cannot hold out the bowl.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  What happened to you?

• 27:49Matt McCusker?

  I, they fucking just seized a lot of candy.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:52Matt McCusker?

  You gotta, you gotta.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Well, how did it go down?

• 27:54Matt McCusker?

  I just was like, here, grab a couple. I was like, oh, you gotta pull it down. I'm like, boys, man.

• 27:59Speaker 00

  I grew up in a.

• 27:59Matt McCusker?

  And it was just.

• 28:00Speaker 00

  W neighborhood and that happened.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  Still happened.

• 28:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, especially if you do leave, like, take one, if you try to leave a dish outside, that gets destroyed anywhere.

• 28:08Speaker 00

  But how did you get mugged?

• 28:09Speaker 02

  I come out, I had a pot for, you know?

• 28:12Matt McCusker?

  Yep.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  And, uh.

• 28:13Speaker 00

  Here you go, fellows.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I was like.

• 28:15Speaker 00

  Here's some applesauce.

• 28:16Matt McCusker?

  What candy were you dishing out? That's the question.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  It was, it was everything. It was like, I spent the money on the candy.

• 28:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you want.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  You know, Amazon and I had this whole.

• 28:23Speaker 00

  You were excited.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  I wouldn't say I was excited.

• 28:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  I felt an obligation to do it. Cause I think it's an awesome holiday and I'll see, you know, I'm new to the neighborhood.

• 28:31Speaker 00

  Halloween's an awesome holiday.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  And he had a backpack on and he.

• 28:35Speaker 00

  Tell me your address is Jack Sparrow.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  I was dressed, I was not dressed up. Oh, I did wear like orange and black.

• 28:42Speaker 00

  You wore orange and black?

• 28:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, you know, that I had in my wardrobe already.

• 28:46Matt McCusker?

  For sure, yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. What was it? Like an orange?

• 28:48Speaker 02

  I don't remember.

• 28:49Speaker 00

  Orange polo, black pants?

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Don't recall.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  Pumpkin suit. What were you wearing?

• 28:54Speaker 02

  I don't recall.

• 28:55Speaker 00

  Did you dress your cat up?

• 28:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 28:58Speaker 00

  All right.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  And he turned his backpack around. So it was like frontways and unzipped it and started putting, and he went, eh.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  And then they all started doing it. And I was like, guys, guys. And then one kid, they took it all. And then one kid was like, I'm sorry, bro. And I was like, all right, sorry. And then that was it. I was out of candy.

• 29:20Matt McCusker?

  You live anymore?

• 29:21Speaker 02

  So then I had to shut off all my lights. And then any other kids that came, I was like, well, are they gonna be pissed? You know, it's

• 29:27Matt McCusker?

  That sucks.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I had to, I had to like run to write it.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  Five nine.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Two twenty.

• 29:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I got crushed one year. I held the bull out and I was like, never again.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  You can't do it.

• 29:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it'll, it's big handfuls. You gotta, you have to grab, dump in the bag.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  And I said, I'm out of here. And then I moved to the suburbs. Anyway, just kidding. But I did, I did, but.

• 30:00Matt McCusker?

  You get involved. Yeah, we talked about that. I got involved in like a high level crime.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep.

• 30:05Matt McCusker?

  That was pretty wild.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  That was, yeah. Terrifying.

• 30:09Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. So.

• 30:12Matt McCusker?

  The Masters were good. The Masters, it was good. I'm happy we went, but.

• 30:16Speaker 02

  It was awesome to go. And again, just like you taking me was so special and it meant so much to me. So thank you.

• 30:23Matt McCusker?

  Cause you're special.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  Well.

• 30:25Matt McCusker?

  Not drinking six beers, that was a fucking crime.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  No, no, it's not a crime. It's not a crime.

• 30:31Matt McCusker?

  How many would you get? Just one, right?

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Well, I had vodka on the plane ride there because I was freaking out. And then I had, I mean, technically at the end of the day.

• 30:38Matt McCusker?

  At the end of the day, you turn it on during that panic attack.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 30:41Matt McCusker?

  That was nice.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Oh, you guys went there and back.

• 30:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:43Matt McCusker?

  Got you. So you had, you hit your six.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Yeah. Alcohol affects me different. And people that don't have that, they can't get.

• 30:53Matt McCusker?

  I know it affects you different.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:55Matt McCusker?

  That's why I wanted it.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 30:58Matt McCusker?

  What does it do? Is like the hangover and all that stuff afterwards?

• 31:00Speaker 02

  The, like, there's a point. So like, there's an hour where it feels nice. And then it's just like inflammation. So then I just start to feel like crap.

• 31:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  And then it's like, the amount that I would have to drink to get through that is like, no, but then, then I'm gonna feel so bad.

• 31:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 02

  The next day that I can't even enjoy it while it's happening. And I'm just like, yeah. You have an unbelievable constitution. The fact that the next day you were like in the mood that you were in is insane.

• 31:30Matt McCusker?

  We're having fun.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  You did have fun.

• 31:32Matt McCusker?

  No, I can be grumpy in the morning.

• 31:33Speaker 02

  You weren't grumpy at all. You woke up and you were like, hey, guys. And then you took a shower and then you were you.

• 31:41Speaker 00

  That's nice. Yeah, thank you.

• 31:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I can't handle the hangovers, man. I fucking, I hate them.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 31:46Speaker 00

  The O'Connor man rallied yesterday. I thought there was no shot he was gonna be alright.

• 31:56Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. He's got, he's got no problem crushing pills.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  I had one pill, one lorazepam, because, you know, for fear of flying.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  Oh, oops. Allegedly. Yeah, yeah.

• 32:09Matt McCusker?

  You could do it. You're right.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  I remember the first time I heard you say allegedly. It killed me. I remember, like, you know how when somebody says something really funny, I was, I knew where I was standing in helium. But anyway, uh, just in case my doctor's watching. I don't combine them.

• 32:22Matt McCusker?

  You could drink. I was gonna tell you, just take pills and if you can't drink, just take like two lorazapams and like a little bit of mushrooms and just go to the masters.

• 32:29Speaker 02

  Right.

• 32:30Matt McCusker?

  That'd be the move.

• 32:31Speaker 00

  Mushrooms would have rocked.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  The issue here was-

• 32:33Speaker 00

  It would have been really overwhelming, though.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Shane was treating me to-

• 32:38Speaker 00

  I would have laid down. When I got lost the first time, I would have just...

• 32:43Speaker 00

  But the problem was I was trying to get their attention because I lost them. I thought they were in front of me when we were walking. It turns out they just stopped next to me. And I kept walking because people kept talking to me.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:54Speaker 00

  And then I was trying to find them and I was just like standing on a hill, just trying to gain attention so they could maybe see me. So just everyone saw me.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:02Speaker 00

  And then all of them were like, "Yo, bro, fucking chug this beer."

• 33:09Speaker 00

  It was the Georgia Bulldogs football team.

• 33:10Speaker 02

  Was it really?

• 33:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was, yeah, it was the Georgia players came up and they were the ones who got me to chug a beer. Because it was while I was lost and I was like, "I'll chug it with you," but now it's a real race against the clock for me to find these guys because I was on the cusp of being hammered.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  And then I, we were like going search parties in different directions and I, I was going his, where he ended up, where he was.

• 33:34Speaker 00

  I was for real thirty yards away, just standing.

• 33:38Matt McCusker?

  And then you took the hill. Yeah, then you took the hill.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:41Matt McCusker?

  Dang.

• 33:41Speaker 02

  But we, we ran into J.J. Watt, who is just an awesome-

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, he was a man. Him and his boys.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, he had two high school friends, I think they were, that they were, I could be 100% friends with. They were so nice.

• 33:54Speaker 00

  How about that dude, uh, O'Connor was battling with?

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  It was just a guy behind us. It was a roofer from Florida. That was just so obnoxious. Yeah.

• 34:03Matt McCusker?

  What was he doing? Just like yelling?

• 34:05Speaker 00

  It was really funny.

• 34:07Matt McCusker?

  Was he yelling out?

• 34:08Speaker 00

  Uh, they were just being loud and at the Masters, like if somebody's hitting, you gotta be really quiet. And we were right next to the green, so dudes were like putting and he was like, "Yo, dude, this fucking, where are all the squirrels? They fucking killed all the squirrels." And O'Connor was hammered next to him like, "Shut the fuck up. Nobody fucking likes you, dude, because of fuck."

• 34:30Speaker 00

  And the guy would be like, "Fuck you." He's like, "Fuck you, pussy."

• 34:36Matt McCusker?

  He didn't like to chat during the game.

• 34:38Speaker 00

  Somebody farted during a putt, which was a,

• 34:39Matt McCusker?

  Who did?

• 34:40Speaker 00

  A former NFL quarterback. I don't wanna name him now. He farted at the Masters.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  It was extremely funny.

• 34:53Speaker 00

  I mean, that was a fun time. Sitting at the 16th when we were all,

• 34:56Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was kids in class. You had to be quiet and everyone there was just like,

• 35:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's hard.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  We got to see Rose make a putt that like brought him right back into the mix. And then Rory comes through and that's the thing though, it's like, oh, what's gonna happen? But then,

• 35:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, you don't know. There's no phones, so you can't check. You gotta like literally stand in front of an actual scoreboard they're putting up, which is kinda cool.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  It's kinda cool.

• 35:20Matt McCusker?

  I don't like the scoring system with golf. They gotta flip that. Like negative seven wins, it should, they should just give you like 40,000 points.

• 35:28Speaker 00

  That would, that would make it more exciting.

• 35:30Matt McCusker?

  If you're the lead, yeah.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  It's fucking embarrassing. Awesome shot. 25,000.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:36Matt McCusker?

  Look at crazy tack. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  That's a weird thing too. They try and make courses longer because they're like, oh, everybody's scoring so low. It's like, who, but they're all playing the same course. Who cares?

• 35:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:46Speaker 02

  Who cares if it's 30 under as opposed to 10 under?

• 35:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 35:52Matt McCusker?

  Is it true that like even if someone plays there and gets like 20th place, they still get like 300, 400, a thousand dollars?

• 35:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:59Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda cool.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  20th probably makes that.

• 36:01Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 36:01Speaker 00

  Pretty easily, yeah.

• 36:02Matt McCusker?

  That's pretty tight.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:04Matt McCusker?

  What's your, what do you shoot right now?

• 36:06Speaker 02

  Uh, well, my handicap's an 11, 3, but it's probably gonna go up because I'm making some swing changes and I'm not good. So.

• 36:13Matt McCusker?

  So how does that work? Does your handicap like affect the score if you play against somebody else? Is that like, like, you know what I mean? Like if you go.

• 36:19Speaker 02

  I don't know how that system works. It's like, it's kind of a weird system, but you just, it prompts me to enter it after I play around. So I.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  I thought that's exactly what it was designed for.

• 36:28Speaker 02

  Right. So if you're competing.

• 36:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 36:32Matt McCusker?

  Why do they call it a handicap though? That's what I don't understand.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  Cause it's a disability.

• 36:37Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 36:38Speaker 00

  You're handicapped by your score versus whoever you're playing.

• 36:42Matt McCusker?

  But does that affect the score I'm saying?

• 36:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:44Matt McCusker?

  So yeah, if you've got like a four and I got a five and I had a higher handicap, we'd have like the same.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:49Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:50Matt McCusker?

  That's pretty cool. I guess it keeps it somewhat fair.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  Somewhat.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  Seems communist to me.

• 36:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's kinda crazy actually.

• 36:59Matt McCusker?

  I like that. Can you get the tags? If your, if your handicap gets like high enough?

• 37:03Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 37:03Matt McCusker?

  Like the parking tags, you can park.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  You have to park closer at the golf course.

• 37:11Matt McCusker?

  I got busted in a handicap spot where I, where I get my wings. I never, I don't take up handicap spots where I, I go to Nando's to get, they have like, uh.

• 37:19Speaker 00

  Great wings.

• 37:20Matt McCusker?

  Just like wood grilled wings. They're so fucking good.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  We should order those.

• 37:22Matt McCusker?

  I should actually. They're delicious. But they're, uh, I like the only parking spots out front of it. Everywhere else is kinda busy. It's like two or three giant handicaps. It's like a lane of just handicap spots. So I always like pop in there, grab my wings and leave.

• 37:33Speaker 00

  How many spots?

• 37:34Matt McCusker?

  It's like three. It's just, but it's right in front of the place.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  There's never three of them at once.

• 37:38Matt McCusker?

  Dude, it's just, it want, the, all of it's handicap. If you wanna go to Nando's and pick up an order or you wanna park out front, you have to be handicapped. Or in that, in front of that's valet for the hotel next to it. And I'll pull in the valet and they're like, you can park here right now. So I'm like, so I'm like, fine. I back into a handicap spot. I'm like, you made me do it. And then I went to get my wings. I'm like, they won't be there. Dude, a car pulls behind me. I'm like, no, there's handicap. Saw the tags. I was like. Burning with shame, just hops in my car.

• 38:05Speaker 00

  That's worse than dumping.

• 38:07Matt McCusker?

  I limped out. I was just like.

• 38:08Speaker 00

  Dumping in the handicap.

• 38:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:09Speaker 00

  And you come out and you're like, there's no chance there's a guy in a wheelchair.

• 38:12Matt McCusker?

  Have you ever encountered?

• 38:13Speaker 00

  I have.

• 38:15Speaker 00

  It's devastating. I took a family dump, the family bathroom. And I've opened that after a dump and there's been a family that needs like change diapers and shit.

• 38:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they get hit, those things get hit hard. Although they, they're kind of rolling those, family bathroom is like, I think that's been the solution for like the

• 38:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 38:32Matt McCusker?

  trans stuff. It's just like families or whoever. And then you can kind of, you know.

• 38:36Speaker 00

  That's what I do.

• 38:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:38Speaker 00

  Instead of like limping out, I'll go, excuse me.

• 38:44Speaker 00

  I'm handicapped. I'm a family. I'm a fucking family.

• 38:52Matt McCusker?

  That was the only thing they could do. They could, because it was such a, you can't solve that problem. Because even if you have a just trans bathroom, you can't do that. So it has to just be family and friends. Just trans bathroom would be nice.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, that'd be fun.

• 39:06Matt McCusker?

  Party. Fun.

• 39:07Speaker 00

  People would be getting in there.

• 39:09Matt McCusker?

  Anyone could go.

• 39:10Speaker 00

  And that would, bro, think if you hit it, you had to hit, there's the only toilet open. You got the walk of shame coming out.

• 39:21Matt McCusker?

  Sure, I'd put my family in the family room, like I'll be back. You just hit the trans bathroom.

• 39:27Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, that is, that's a, that's a thing at the airport I've seen. I've seen people go in and crush the, almost the family bathroom.

• 39:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:33Matt McCusker?

  And you just see a family waiting outside.

• 39:35Speaker 00

  I've done it. And then I'm, I'm in there, you gotta just be like, I'm taking my time on this.

• 39:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:40Speaker 00

  It's a lone, it's a single bathroom. It's

• 39:42Matt McCusker?

  Perfect.

• 39:42Speaker 00

  You can, you can lose yourself in there. You can take your time. You can look at Instagram. You can fuck around.

• 39:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've taken a long time and then come out and seen two fam- like a line of families.

• 39:52Matt McCusker?

  You just gotta come out and go, you gotta come out of there and go, fuck where the hell they go? Where the fuck's my family?

• 39:57Speaker 00

  They would see my child.

• 40:00Matt McCusker?

  Where's my family?

• 40:02Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. These days, you have to be smart with your money. If you're gonna make a big purchase, you gotta make it count. What's something, what's something you bought?

• 40:12Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I re- I just invested in two bug tanks.

• 40:17Matt McCusker?

  I got two bug tanks from National Geographic. So they have a little magnifying glass on them. I got not one, but two.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  What type of bugs are you gonna put in there?

• 40:25Matt McCusker?

  Uh, right now, we've only gotten some roly-polies. So you can throw them in there, create their natural habitat, and you can kinda like.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  I'd like to see what roly-polies are up to.

• 40:32Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I got, I had, I catch, I catch like, me and my daughters catch like four roly-polies a day and put them in my garden.

• 40:38Speaker 00

  It's really nice.

• 40:39Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome. I have so many roly-polies. So yeah, I gotta, the bug tank's nice, man, because otherwise you gotta carry them in your, you ever try to carry a roly-poly in your hand for like? They fucking, they get, they're, they're escape artists. So, yeah, I got some bug tanks.

• 40:51Speaker 00

  It's been, you know, thirty years.

• 40:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:53Speaker 00

  Since I've tried.

• 40:54Matt McCusker?

  It's just as hard. They escape, so.

• 40:57Speaker 00

  I bought a bug light.

• 40:58Matt McCusker?

  You got a bug light?

• 40:59Speaker 00

  I got a bug zapper out there. That's, you know, kinda the opposite of what you're doing, but.

• 41:03Matt McCusker?

  Hey.

• 41:04Speaker 00

  Just as fun.

• 41:04Matt McCusker?

  You're battling.

• 41:05Speaker 00

  Uh, you sit by the, you sit in the hot tub and all of a sudden.

• 41:09Speaker 00

  You go, god damn, that guy, you get some of these big, the bugs out here are so big.

• 41:12Matt McCusker?

  My dad's big on bugs.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  And they die, they go.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  You hear him hit the fucking bug light and they go, Jesus.

• 41:20Matt McCusker?

  God damn.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Another great investment, taking care of yourself, you know, you're talking about these bugs.

• 41:27Matt McCusker?

  I didn't even think about that.

• 41:28Speaker 00

  Why don't you think about yourself? Traditional therapy can get crazy expensive though, like between a hundred to two hundred fifty dollars a month or more or something like that. Therapy is worth it though, and you do have options like BetterHelp, the help with the bet on it. It could help you save up to fifty percent per session while getting you the help you need. I've had a lot of sessions where I think about myself.

• 41:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  Take care of myself. I like therapy because

• 41:54Speaker 00

  I've benefited from therapy.

• 41:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think it's nice. I think it's a nice thing to do.

• 41:57Speaker 00

  Everyone could learn something from therapy.

• 42:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you could just learn how.

• 42:01Speaker 00

  It teaches you positive coping skills.

• 42:03Matt McCusker?

  Like how dumb your family is.

• 42:04Speaker 00

  And set boundaries.

• 42:05Matt McCusker?

  How you're doomed.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, basically you get on a Zoom call and you talk about how dumb your family is.

• 42:10Matt McCusker?

  Hey, break it to your family are idiots and you're doomed.

• 42:13Speaker 00

  With BetterHelp, you can work toward being the best version of yourself while saving money, and because everything is online, it's easier to get into a session with your schedule. I love getting online sessions.

• 42:22Matt McCusker?

  Love that.

• 42:23Speaker 00

  With just a few clicks, you can be talking to one of their therapists. You can even switch therapists at any time for any reason. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com slash MSSP to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash MSSP.

• 42:40Matt McCusker?

  And also, you can't use the tokens for those either.

• 42:42Speaker 00

  No tokens.

• 42:43Matt McCusker?

  You cannot use tokens for the.

• 42:45Speaker 00

  You're stuck with those, you made a mistake, you bought some tokens. But you can talk to BetterHelp, the help with the betta on it. About that. The betta help, the help with the betta on it.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  Hey, everybody, dude wipes, dude, dude, dude wipes, they rip. But it's me, LaMaire Lee. Please come to my shows on May 9th and May 10th at Coastal Creative in dang Tampa. And May 28th, we're doing a small time comedy heist here in Austin, Texas at Roscoe's Comedy Club. Please, please come, it'll be nice.

• 43:12Speaker 00

  Tell them, tell them a joke to, give them a little taste.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  A small time comedy heist?

• 43:18Speaker 00

  No, dude, one of your jokes.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Like a bit?

• 43:21Speaker 00

  Do a joke so people know what they're gonna get. Give them a little taste.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  I have to find one. You cry, oh, uh.

• 43:30Speaker 00

  Do crowd work.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Where are you from? Philadelphia. Yeah, Philadelphia, that's nice, it's cool out there. I like Philly. What is your favorite cheesesteak? Chicken. Chicken.

• 43:44Speaker 00

  The fuck off the stage.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  They're gonna see me in Philly on May 6th. I mean, we should just put that out as a special.

• 43:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm excited to fly with my family tomorrow. It's always an operation.

• 44:01Speaker 00

  And Gerbi.

• 44:02Matt McCusker?

  And Gerbs, dude, I can't believe. Uh, yes. They're gonna have so much fun. Great. I can't wait to absolutely sick.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  You're gonna scare the fuck out of Matt's kids.

• 44:12Matt McCusker?

  Promise I won't? No, first of all, no. Yeah.

• 44:15Speaker 00

  You know what you do.

• 44:16Matt McCusker?

  Oh, we're freaking out?

• 44:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:18Matt McCusker?

  I won't do that.

• 44:19Speaker 00

  All right, good.

• 44:19Matt McCusker?

  No, definitely not in front of kids. They'll hold your hand, they'll hold your hand the whole time. Oh, that's great. They're not, I'm not saying it bad, I do it all the time. I hold my hands, I get nervous when we land, I'm always like, hold your father's hand now. It makes me feel a lot better. That's adorable, yeah. But yeah, they have no idea. They start bumping and they're just like.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  But even if I was like, it was so nice having you there. Like when you know, you're going through something and your friends are there and like talking you through it. It was.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  I was trying my best to make things worse for you.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  You weren't. You're saying that, you know, you.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  On the takeoff, I didn't know how bad it was until we left. On the way there, it was pretty funny.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, the way there I had it.

• 44:56Speaker 00

  We're really high up.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  Once I get up, I'm all right.

• 44:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  And the way that the pilot like explained it to me, and I think like this, this really made sense was he's like, uh, you're not used to being in 3D like.

• 45:08Speaker 00

  Do the South African, do the South African.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  I really can't, you guys.

• 45:10Speaker 00

  You can do it.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Uh, he's like, hey, is there?

• 45:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  He's like, oh, I can't do accents. Uh, hey, what did you get up there?

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Uh, you're, you're, uh, not used to being in 3D. So your, your hairs are like, hey, this is totally destabilizing.

• 45:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  And you're trying to, you know, for me, exert control over what feels like an out of control feeling.

• 45:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Can't. And then that starts to spin that de-realization feeling. And I'm like, I feel like I'm losing my mind. So that's what he's, I just thought it was a nice thing for him to say, which is like, it feels weird. And as it should, because you're not used to it and your ears are telling you there's a problem, but there's no problem.

• 45:56Matt McCusker?

  Never thought about the ear hairs. So your ear hairs just start getting like, what the fuck's going on? You start to spaz.

• 46:01Speaker 02

  Equilibrium. Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  Cause you're suddenly back and, um, yeah, but it, again, I really appreciated.

• 46:11Speaker 00

  The news has not been great.

• 46:12Matt McCusker?

  No, man. Another helicopter just exploded.

• 46:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, I watched that. I saw that one.

• 46:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  I don't think I'll be on a helicopter.

• 46:19Matt McCusker?

  Dude, yeah, I don't. Not a good time for helicopter charters.

• 46:24Speaker 00

  No.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  Even though I was interested to learn that you can land a helicopter with no power to the rotors.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  Uh, but unfortunately it sounds like that one, they actually like lost.

• 46:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, the whole fucking thing fell off.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:34Matt McCusker?

  Hold on. So you're talking about if the fucking.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  The engine dies, they can turn the rotors such that it, there's enough.

• 46:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  Uh, air being pushed through to like come down. Not super soft, but you, it's not a death sentence.

• 46:50Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 46:51Speaker 02

  It was a, there's a YouTube channel called Smarter Every Day that did a whole thing. This is like 10 years ago, but yeah.

• 46:57Matt McCusker?

  That's pretty cool.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  It was cool.

• 46:58Matt McCusker?

  Still not getting in one of those things, man. I've just, they've caught too much negative press.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:02Matt McCusker?

  That last one was like, Jesus Christ, bro. Did they hit the water?

• 47:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Ah, poor souls.

• 47:07Matt McCusker?

  There goes my theory. Yeah, true. Whole fam.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  Oh, I gotta, I gotta do deeper guts.

• 47:18Speaker 00

  Jones locker.

• 47:26Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Now I'm not making fun of them because I fly a lot and I really don't want to die that way, but. Uh, it was making me thinking about, uh, if that space shuttle with Katy Perry did explode.

• 47:37Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 47:38Speaker 00

  And her hit song was, you're a firework.

• 47:44Speaker 00

  Would have been good.

• 47:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man. I mean, that's, that's criminal, dude. Sending all those babes into space is.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  Launching the babes.

• 47:52Matt McCusker?

  That's reckless. If they died, he could, wouldn't it technically be like reckless endangerment? I mean, I know he'd probably get off.

• 47:58Speaker 00

  He'd be all right.

• 47:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he'd get off.

• 47:59Speaker 00

  He'd be like, change the law.

• 48:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true, true.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 48:10Speaker 00

  See if they can survive up there. That won't go.

• 48:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:15Matt McCusker?

  Babes are in space now. That's not good.

• 48:20Matt McCusker?

  Especially just.

• 48:22Speaker 00

  Launch the space babes.

• 48:24Matt McCusker?

  With the babes in space?

• 48:24Speaker 00

  Put the babes up there. Cool them off a little.

• 48:27Matt McCusker?

  True. I mean, how long do you think it takes for them to land back on earth and slowly like get, like their ear hairs probably slowly get back to normal and they're like, why are you doing it?

• 48:39Matt McCusker?

  Why are you doing that way?

• 48:40Speaker 00

  Dude, think about having that over your babe. Like, we don't go anywhere anymore.

• 48:47Speaker 00

  Took you to fucking space bitch.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:51Matt McCusker?

  I didn't like the astronaut food.

• 48:53Speaker 00

  Astronaut food sucked. You were there for 10 fucking minutes. What'd you eat?

• 48:59Speaker 02

  I was hungry, what?

• 49:01Speaker 00

  You didn't feel good? Cause you kept me up all night with your fucking snoring.

• 49:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that was, you'd get like maybe a nice afternoon. You could send your baby out of space.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  I guarantee in the car ride home, one of them was like, Gail was being a bitch.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  Gail was a fucking bitch the whole time we were in space.

• 49:26Matt McCusker?

  She thought it was all about her. Not that it's all about me.

• 49:29Speaker 00

  Not that it's all about me, but like, let's be honest.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  It was Katy Perry's trip.

• 49:40Matt McCusker?

  You think that'd be cool if you're Jeff Bezos and you just like, you have a wife and you send her and Katy Perry and Gail in a space? You think you actually felt anything or just like?

• 49:50Matt McCusker?

  Alright.

• 49:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was probably just another day for that guy. He probably woke up like, oh fuck, I gotta launch those women into space.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  I don't think so. I think he was excited.

• 49:59Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  You like Jeff Bezos?

• 50:02Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 50:03Matt McCusker?

  Bezos vs. Musk? If you had to pick one, Bezos vs. Musk?

• 50:07Speaker 02

  If I had, oh geez.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  I'd have to say Elon.

• 50:12Matt McCusker?

  You like Elon better than Bezos?

• 50:13Speaker 02

  I think, you know, I think like right now we're in a rocky, you know?

• 50:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah. What, why do you like, why do you like Elon better than Bezos?

• 50:21Speaker 02

  Bezos, it seems, I'd like SpaceX was before Blue Origin, right?

• 50:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's copying his swag pretty badly on this.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  And that, the first time they landed that Falcon booster is, that's an unbelievable video to watch. It's so, cause you know, everybody would say you can't do it. This is a joke, blah, blah, blah. And then they did it and everybody starts chanting USA. It was like back in this.

• 50:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  And you had to see this thing come down.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  And you've been, you've been jacking off to going to Mars for years.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:57Speaker 00

  I remember that. I'd go hang out with you and Chris. All you guys talked about was fucking Mars.

• 51:01Speaker 02

  Well, yes.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  Shut up about Mars.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  No.

• 51:03Speaker 00

  You need to worry about Halloween.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  True.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  You gotta focus on Halloween before we can focus on Mars.

• 51:11Matt McCusker?

  Mars bars.

• 51:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  What'd you say?

• 51:14Speaker 00

  Mars bars.

• 51:15Matt McCusker?

  Mars bars.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  Oh, man.

• 51:19Matt McCusker?

  Damn, dude. So what's, the Falcon was Elon's craft.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 51:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you think he takes space more seriously because, yeah, Bezos is just popping out of the stratosphere.

• 51:28Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 51:29Matt McCusker?

  He's kind of just pulsing.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 51:32Speaker 00

  No.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  Oh, there's this YouTube video. I just found it again recently, but I loved it because when they landed two of those, there's like a guy filming it and just the way he says it, because you're watching him from afar. And then as they, they're re-entering, the, the light up to slow it down, like the engines light up. And so he's like, two candlesticks coming down. And then, and then it's like, you hear the sonic booms. And he's like, double sonic booms. It's just a, it's just a wild.

• 51:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's cool. Yeah.

• 51:59Matt McCusker?

  The guy who got to say that probably felt so cool, would be like, double sonic booms. If I got to say that into a headset around people, I'd be like, fuck.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  That'd be awesome.

• 52:07Matt McCusker?

  We're initiating double sonic booms.

• 52:09Speaker 00

  I was down there for some space launches.

• 52:10Matt McCusker?

  Did you really?

• 52:11Speaker 00

  There's some rocket.

• 52:11Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah, I forgot. You guys, yeah, yeah.

• 52:12Speaker 00

  There's nothing, it's the coolest thing possible.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  It has to be.

• 52:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's great. Although the last time I was there, it got rained out. And I sat on the beach all day waiting for it. They were like, 2:00 PM, 2:00 PM launch. I was like, I'm gonna have a good buzz. 2:00 PM, and they go, it got delayed eight hours. And I was like, that's fine. I'm in the zone.

• 52:32Speaker 00

  Fucking, the sun's going down. I was like, aw, shit. Fuck that rocket fucking bullshit. And then a giant thunderstorm came.

• 52:43Matt McCusker?

  That's pretty, it was awesome. Yeah, that's kind of cool.

• 52:45Speaker 00

  Listen to fucking, uh, not for whom the belt, uh, fuck it. Listen to a Metallica song.

• 52:50Matt McCusker?

  Do you want a thunderstorm?

• 52:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 52:51Matt McCusker?

  It's kind of sick.

• 52:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was awesome. It was a great day.

• 52:55Matt McCusker?

  That is awesome. It sucks that Rocket didn't launch.

• 52:58Speaker 00

  Now my family that lives there sends me rocket launches every day.

• 53:01Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 53:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, they go, we got another video for you. I go, sick.

• 53:03Matt McCusker?

  I think there was a rocket launch in San Antonio, or like, it was visible from San Antonio. Maybe it was from Houston, but yeah, the guy.

• 53:10Speaker 00

  When?

• 53:11Matt McCusker?

  Like Saturday.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  It was probably fucking Katy Perry. He probably saw Katy Perry.

• 53:16Matt McCusker?

  He saw Katy? Maybe.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  I don't know where they launched that thing.

• 53:20Matt McCusker?

  I don't eh, probably somewhere else. Well, I don't know. Where the fuck can they do that?

• 53:23Speaker 00

  Looks like a desert.

• 53:24Matt McCusker?

  LA. So maybe they, maybe they just hit like fucking New Mexico or something. Roswell.

• 53:29Speaker 00

  Remember the guy who tried to prove the earth was flat? And he made himself a rocket?

• 53:33Matt McCusker?

  No.

• 53:33Speaker 00

  He just fucking died.

• 53:38Matt McCusker?

  It'd be sick if he got vindicated. He's like, I'm falling off the edge. Clearly I'm coming right off.

• 53:42Speaker 00

  He probably did think that on the way down like.

• 53:43Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  Seems pretty flat to me.

• 53:45Matt McCusker?

  Bullshit.

• 53:46Speaker 00

  I'm about to fucking hit it. Flat as hell.

• 53:51Matt McCusker?

  It was in Texas. What'd they launch?

• 53:55Speaker 00

  It was Katy Perry.

• 53:56Matt McCusker?

  He saw Perry.

• 53:57Speaker 00

  You saw Perry.

• 53:58Matt McCusker?

  I didn't see it.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  Oh dang.

• 53:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, I was, I was fucking slayed away.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Just to take the counter, that, I mean, he got guts to go up there. That's scary.

• 54:06Speaker 00

  For sure.

• 54:06Matt McCusker?

  The, who?

• 54:07Speaker 00

  There's six ladies.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  There's ladies?

• 54:09Matt McCusker?

  I don't think so.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  No?

• 54:11Matt McCusker?

  Not at all.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Would you go?

• 54:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, easily. Not with six ladies.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  Why?

• 54:17Speaker 00

  I don't know, dude. You get up there.

• 54:19Matt McCusker?

  Start floating?

• 54:19Speaker 00

  Space rules.

• 54:20Matt McCusker?

  True. Oops, sorry. I floated right into your butt again. Oh, I floated into all of your butts.

• 54:26Speaker 00

  Damn, there's not, not a lot of room up here. I keep floating right into all of your guys boobs the whole time.

• 54:32Matt McCusker?

  I'd be like a Japanese pervert on the subway.

• 54:38Speaker 00

  Being a pervert with zero gravity coming at someone like.

• 54:43Matt McCusker?

  Whoa, whoa.

• 54:44Speaker 00

  Whoa, I'm not used to this.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  Oh shit. Japanese bus porn?

• 54:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's good. What?

• 54:53Speaker 02

  What?

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, do you know?

• 54:57Speaker 00

  You watch Japanese bus porn?

• 54:59Speaker 02

  I mean, yes. Yeah, I do, I do. They, that's what they do. They kind of like, I mean, I was, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's pre, you know. It's not, but they, yeah, they just, they ride the bus and they're all close. They just start like, you know, bumping, bumping, yeah. This whole bus ride.

• 55:17Matt McCusker?

  I'm, I'm a bit of a closeted frauderist myself, man.

• 55:22Matt McCusker?

  I just, I mean, you know, when you're on like the thing at the airport, it gets packed. You're just like, hey, man.

• 55:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:28Matt McCusker?

  All I can do is hold on.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:30Matt McCusker?

  Space rolls. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 55:36Speaker 00

  I like this.

• 55:37Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop, once a day, vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mixes great, doesn't taste like a fistfight. Packaged travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out. Which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod.

• 56:18Matt McCusker?

  And for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle, including omega three fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2. With your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod.

• 56:31Speaker 00

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• 56:38Matt McCusker?

  Yo.

• 56:38Speaker 00

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• 56:59Matt McCusker?

  Because sex is not just be about being able to perform. I totally agree with that. It's about actually wanting to.

• 57:06Speaker 00

  Now wanting to is extremely important for sexual intercourse.

• 57:09Matt McCusker?

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• 57:29Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 57:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it is. Yeah, if you're, if you can do whatever you want in international waters and space, it's like.

• 57:34Speaker 00

  It's there are, yeah.

• 57:36Matt McCusker?

  There's a mutiny on this ship and now I'm on charge.

• 57:39Speaker 00

  We're going to the moon.

• 57:40Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 57:41Speaker 00

  I'm taking the ship. We're flying somewhere else. Me and the space base. We're gonna start a new colony. We're gonna have to repopulate.

• 57:48Matt McCusker?

  True. How many times has Bezo's been to space?

• 57:53Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 57:54Matt McCusker?

  He's probably been at least like 20 times. Also, what do you think it costs just to like send those babes up in the air?

• 57:59Speaker 00

  I think they said it was a million dollars.

• 58:01Matt McCusker?

  Million bucks every time?

• 58:02Speaker 00

  A minute. A million a minute. Is what someone was talking about, yeah.

• 58:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's just fucking around. Blue orgy dude.

• 58:16Matt McCusker?

  Get out there.

• 58:18Matt McCusker?

  He's definitely got head in space, I would imagine.

• 58:21Speaker 00

  You have to.

• 58:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he has. He's definitely got head in space.

• 58:25Speaker 00

  And you gotta go, I'm the first guy to ever do it. It's like, brother, no you're not.

• 58:30Matt McCusker?

  Sure, who do you think did, Neil? Neil and Buzz?

• 58:32Speaker 00

  Probably the guy who brought that dog up.

• 58:36Matt McCusker?

  Damn, you think he really, he probably ejacked in space.

• 58:41Speaker 00

  That's tough.

• 58:42Matt McCusker?

  Get to do like the full 3D rendering of like how big is my, you can load max and be like, it's actually, it's actually a pretty powerful shot.

• 58:49Speaker 00

  Please slurp that. Please float over to that and slurp that, please slurp that out.

• 58:56Speaker 00

  You gotta do it. Just for me, one time, babe, slurp that.

• 59:01Speaker 00

  It's gonna be the best moment of my life.

• 59:07Matt McCusker?

  That'd be actually really cool.

• 59:08Speaker 00

  I mean, there's that guy and lady were stuck in the space station for like.

• 59:15Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 59:16Speaker 00

  I wonder if they slurped.

• 59:19Matt McCusker?

  You would, you'd have to. If you got stranded in space, it would just activate something, your ear hairs would go nuts, you'd be like, I need my dick sucked.

• 59:25Speaker 00

  That's way worse than a hotel.

• 59:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you'd have, you'd have to, if you're stuck in space.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  Somebody's slurping. Somebody's gotta slurp.

• 59:37Speaker 00

  You probably, nevermind. Uh, I got a whiz actually.

• 59:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true, take a break.

• 59:40Speaker 00

  Time out.

• 59:41Matt McCusker?

  Oh, good. Oh, dude, I have my restaurant review.

• 59:44Speaker 00

  Nice.

• 59:44Matt McCusker?

  I, this is, we're good? Huh? Sick.

• 59:49Speaker 00

  Steak and beans is back.

• 59:51Matt McCusker?

  I was actually doing a little research for the giant steak and beans, yeah. Dude, I, I didn't know there was such a thing as a Mexican steakhouse. Dude, on, yeah, Mexican steakhouse, I was in San Antonio. Two, two osed doors, huh?

• 1:00:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:07Matt McCusker?

  So.

• 1:00:09Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that was my, that was my.

• 1:00:11Speaker 00

  Oh, we are.

• 1:00:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we're chatting.

• 1:00:13Speaker 00

  It's just guys chat.

• 1:00:14Matt McCusker?

  Dude, Mexicans, have you ever been to like a steakhouse? It is always just like, you know, it's like asparagus steak and.

• 1:00:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:00:20Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I've never even thought about it. It's like every steakhouse I've ever been to, I've been like, what if they had guacamole at the steakhouse? And it's, dude, it's called two osed dories in San Antonio. And they just hand you, order whatever you want, and they hand you a fucking cutting board. It's just like salt on it. They give you warm corn tortillas on the side and you can get guacamole, whatever you want. And make yourself like fourteen just steak tacos. It's.

• 1:00:45Speaker 00

  That's right up your alley.

• 1:00:46Matt McCusker?

  Oh, my God, dude.

• 1:00:47Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 1:00:48Matt McCusker?

  Oh, my God, it was so good.

• 1:00:50Speaker 00

  That was.

• 1:00:51Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I've, I've never, it was unbelievable. So good. So, check that out, dude. It's, it's a.

• 1:00:58Speaker 00

  Is it in Austin? Where was it?

• 1:00:59Matt McCusker?

  It's in San Antonio. It's for real. My favorite place, dude.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  Down in San Antonio.

• 1:01:03Matt McCusker?

  Two days in a row. San Antonio way.

• 1:01:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:05Matt McCusker?

  San Antonio is a very rough and tumble town.

• 1:01:08Speaker 00

  I like San Antonio.

• 1:01:09Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's kind of cool.

• 1:01:09Speaker 00

  That riverwalk's fucking very nice.

• 1:01:11Matt McCusker?

  I didn't see it. I was just up by the airport the entire time.

• 1:01:15Speaker 00

  That's good.

• 1:01:15Matt McCusker?

  I didn't see two.

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  Did you go to the Almo?

• 1:01:17Matt McCusker?

  Nah, dude, I didn't do shit.

• 1:01:18Speaker 00

  You gotta check the Almo someday.

• 1:01:19Matt McCusker?

  I do gotta check that out.

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  It's pretty sick.

• 1:01:21Matt McCusker?

  I was, I was gonna threaten if the ticket sales didn't rise up, I was gonna.

• 1:01:24Speaker 00

  Say, I'm not going anywhere.

• 1:01:25Matt McCusker?

  Fucking Almo's bad.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  You're gonna have to come and get me.

• 1:01:31Matt McCusker?

  It was fun. But yeah, dude, the, um, that shit fucking ruled. I also, I also liked like, I just kind of would pop back and forth, but I kind of was really enjoying the feeling of like. I was like, I might just like live in San Antonio and just kind of like, not like leave my family, but like, be present, but just live in like an apartment in San Antonio. I liked being an hour away. It was nice. I could pop up.

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  Standing outside of school sometimes in there. When they go to recess, you stand by the fence.

• 1:01:56Matt McCusker?

  I kind of want to do that so bad. Just one day. But, yeah, San Antonio, I, I got to like, you know, kind of LARP, being like a semi distant father in San Antonio and it was kind of cool. Cause I was just a drive away. So I like, I'd pop back on Friday morning. See you guys.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14Matt McCusker?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:02:14Speaker 00

  Get a nice cowboy hat. Fucking cool, yeah.

• 1:02:18Matt McCusker?

  That would help. If you left your family, but you dressed as a cowboy, that would somehow ease the sting, I feel like.

• 1:02:23Speaker 00

  That would help, yeah.

• 1:02:24Matt McCusker?

  It would.

• 1:02:25Speaker 00

  My dad's a cowboy. My dad couldn't be here. He's a cowboy.

• 1:02:29Matt McCusker?

  My dad's at the Mexican Steakhouse. He's at two Hacienda. Also, too, I was like, I was reading the website and I was like, every website, you know, they have like our story. It's like, here's our story. And it was like, it's always like the kid who's like, when I was four, my, my grandfather would have the cattle on the ranch of northern Mexico. And I was like all stoked on the way there. I was like, fucking bullshit. They tricked me again. It's gonna be like, just all just from Restaurant Depot. It's all a bunch of bullshit. Got there and they're like, no, our steaks are all from northern Mexico. I was like, oh, fucking yes. Cause we're close enough. Close enough to Norteños.

• 1:03:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Matt McCusker?

  So, yeah, I was eating that northern Mexican cattle. It was nice.

• 1:03:08Matt McCusker?

  It worked. As soon as he told me that, I was like, I knew this was fucking awesome. And the guy wears a cowboy hat.

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  I was trying my best to figure that out.

• 1:03:14Matt McCusker?

  The what?

• 1:03:14Speaker 00

  Cows from the north.

• 1:03:15Matt McCusker?

  Fucking north.

• 1:03:15Speaker 00

  Vaca de Norte.

• 1:03:17Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:03:19Speaker 00

  You're a fucking Norteño.

• 1:03:21Matt McCusker?

  What's that?

• 1:03:22Speaker 00

  You're a fucking junkie. You're a gringo, boy.

• 1:03:25Matt McCusker?

  Gringo, yeah.

• 1:03:26Speaker 00

  You're a nasty little gringo.

• 1:03:28Matt McCusker?

  You can get pills for cheap in Mexico.

• 1:03:29Speaker 00

  And start to hate the M's.

• 1:03:31Matt McCusker?

  No. No, no.

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

  You're gonna have the M's on your ass.

• 1:03:36Matt McCusker?

  No, no. Let's, no. What are they up to in their cars?

• 1:03:42Speaker 00

  Oh, you'll see.

• 1:03:44Matt McCusker?

  You'll see.

• 1:03:45Speaker 00

  The M's.

• 1:03:48Speaker 00

  They can, they're tough drivers.

• 1:03:53Speaker 00

  They test my racism.

• 1:03:54Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:03:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I've maintained for a while that the As get a bad rap, that it's actually the Bs.

• 1:04:00Matt McCusker?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:01Speaker 00

  Turns out the M's are right there.

• 1:04:05Matt McCusker?

  I do like those little, like, do you ever see like the flags people dangle from their, uh, rearview mirrors? They're kinda nice. If you wanna like really hone in, like, wait, who is this cutting me off? Like, okay. I got some.

• 1:04:15Speaker 00

  Venezuelan.

• 1:04:18Matt McCusker?

  Like, okay, let me break this out.

• 1:04:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, they do fly the flag. Very pirates.

• 1:04:23Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:04:27Matt McCusker?

  You should get a, you should get one of those for your rearview.

• 1:04:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:04:31Matt McCusker?

  Why not?

• 1:04:31Speaker 02

  They, they, I'm not obstructing my view. It's dangerous.

• 1:04:36Matt McCusker?

  What would you hang?

• 1:04:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, get a Jolly Roger on the back.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  What's a Jolly Roger?

• 1:04:40Speaker 00

  Pirate flag.

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  No, no. No. But, uh.

• 1:04:47Speaker 00

  You should get the actual Pirates of the Caribbean logo on there. You should get your car wrapped.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  Let's not even go down.

• 1:04:55Speaker 00

  Pirates of the Caribbean.

• 1:04:57Speaker 00

  If I paid for it, will you do that?

• 1:04:58Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:05:00Matt McCusker?

  What would you, in terms of you were living in Pirates?

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  I just like the song.

• 1:05:04Matt McCusker?

  You don't like the Pirates life at all?

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  No. No, I'm not trying to be a pirate. Yeah.

• 1:05:10Matt McCusker?

  You're telling me if you, you would like.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  The song pumps me up.

• 1:05:13Matt McCusker?

  The song is awesome.

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  I listen to the song.

• 1:05:15Speaker 00

  But it doesn't wanna.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  About like saving people.

• 1:05:17Speaker 00

  Doesn't wanna make you swashbuckle at all.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:05:19Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:05:20Speaker 00

  When you listen to it?

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:05:22Speaker 00

  All right.

• 1:05:22Matt McCusker?

  No adventures on the high seas or anything?

• 1:05:24Speaker 00

  No, nothing to do with the high seas.

• 1:05:27Speaker 02

  About what I think about.

• 1:05:28Matt McCusker?

  What do you think about?

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  It, it, you know.

• 1:05:31Matt McCusker?

  Being on the Japanese subway?

• 1:05:32Speaker 02

  Sometimes I'm like throwing a pitch.

• 1:05:34Speaker 00

  Oh, you just, you daydream about throwing.

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  I day, I listen to the song and I daydream. It's like, like saving people or like, it's like hero shit. It's, it's stupid.

• 1:05:42Speaker 00

  You listen to Pirates of the Caribbean while you're driving and daydreaming about being a hero?

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  Yes. I can't help it, Shane, it's my brain.

• 1:05:50Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:05:55Speaker 00

  All right.

• 1:05:57Matt McCusker?

  I think, I think you've talked about this before.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  Why does it bother you?

• 1:05:59Speaker 00

  It's not, it doesn't bother me, I'm jealous. I day, I just sit there and go, I'm a fucking piece of shit.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  I think those thoughts too.

• 1:06:05Speaker 00

  I just daydream about failures.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, it's not that I don't have those.

• 1:06:09Speaker 00

  Those are the Pirates of the Caribbean and thinking about failures.

• 1:06:14Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny, like I let everybody down.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I wouldn't listen, if I was in that mental state, I would never listen to it.

• 1:06:22Matt McCusker?

  Hmm?

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  I, I would never listen to it if I was.

• 1:06:24Speaker 00

  If you were feeling sad?

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 00

  Wouldn't it bring you up a little though?

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  No, no, if I'm like judgmental or anything about, no.

• 1:06:29Matt McCusker?

  Do you have like sad music you ever listen to when you're kinda sad?

• 1:06:32Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:06:33Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm trying to think.

• 1:06:36Matt McCusker?

  Like Radiohead or something like that?

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no. Uh, I don't have anything, it'd be more like, if I, if I need to have a cry, I have like movies that I can watch. I think we talked about this, 50/50?

• 1:06:48Speaker 00

  50/50 got me.

• 1:06:50Matt McCusker?

  What's 50/50?

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  There's just this scene at the end of it where he's about to go into surgery and he's just like, trying to ask the doctor questions about what the surgery, and then he just goes, "Mom", and he puts his hand out, and it just got me the first time.

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  I've told this story, I was on a, like a first date with a girl. We saw that movie.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:07:10Speaker 00

  And I had my arm around her, and I was trying to hold in a cry so bad that I was like,

• 1:07:17Speaker 00

  my body was shaking, I was crying.

• 1:07:21Speaker 02

  I saw it, I bought it, and I said, "If I ever need to like, just get a cry out, watch that scene, it's been very effective."

• 1:07:26Matt McCusker?

  That's kinda nice.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:28Matt McCusker?

  Can you cry while acting? That's, that's the thing I always think about.

• 1:07:31Speaker 02

  I don't know. Yeah, it's, it's, I don't know.

• 1:07:35Matt McCusker?

  It's hard.

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I imagine.

• 1:07:37Matt McCusker?

  That'd be like a real weird, even if you did it right, it would feel kinda weird too, where you'd be like, "Fuck, I'm crying in front of all these fucking people."

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  I'm sure.

• 1:07:43Matt McCusker?

  I'd feel like pissed about that.

• 1:07:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:46Speaker 00

  That's pretty funny. Being in like a very serious scene, being worried about like, everyone here's gonna think I'm a fucking pussy.

• 1:07:54Matt McCusker?

  Cut, I'm not fucking crying, for real.

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  I don't even care about the script.

• 1:08:02Matt McCusker?

  I don't, I like, I really can't wrap my head around that, that's such a wild thing to be able, I mean, I guess you could do it if you're thinking of something sad enough, but like, being able to do that in front of all those people, I'm always like, I'm just like fascinated by that.

• 1:08:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Matt McCusker?

  It's kinda nuts.

• 1:08:14Speaker 00

  I don't, yeah, I don't think I, I don't think I can do it.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  You could definitely do it.

• 1:08:18Speaker 00

  I could.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  You could definitely do it. You downplay it, you're so good.

• 1:08:22Speaker 00

  Steve.

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  But we did really appreciate going to the Masters.

• 1:08:28Speaker 00

  I know you did.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:30Speaker 00

  And I appreciated the way you handled yourself on the flight.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:08:37Speaker 00

  No, you did great.

• 1:08:39Speaker 02

  I gotta turn it around because I gotta fly and I want to fly and I went, so we're gonna be good.

• 1:08:43Matt McCusker?

  That's a cure for panic attacks. So if you just tell one person you're having a panic attack, it does lessen it.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  It does help.

• 1:08:48Matt McCusker?

  You try to keep it to yourself, you're fucked.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  Chris, Chain, everybody talking to me, yep.

• 1:08:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you can't, you can't keep it to yourself.

• 1:08:53Speaker 00

  The way they tried to get you to not be afraid of flying, I think probably did more damage.

• 1:08:59Speaker 00

  By making you fly a Cessna with a guy?

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  Oh, a Sam- well, I, I did that on my own. I thought that that would, I thought that would help. So, uh, because I was gonna go to internship in Los Angeles when I was at Drexel. And I had had like a problem flying. So, you know, I had to go. I got the internship. I had a family friend that had a, uh, like a two seater plane.

• 1:09:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  And so I asked him, I was, would you mind taking me up to sort of try and break me out of this?

• 1:09:26Matt McCusker?

  So scary.

• 1:09:27Speaker 02

  It was terrifying.

• 1:09:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:29Speaker 00

  He pulled it out?

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  He, he pulled it out with his hands. He was like a 55 year old guy.

• 1:09:35Speaker 00

  Hey, yo.

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  And he, the hanger, he just like puts a hook around the front wheel and is wheeling the thing out. And I'm like, ah.

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  I, and I was telling him, it's like one of the most embarrassing things I've ever said, but, uh, he, so he gets it out. He's going through his whole flight plan or whatever, checking it. And then, you know, you can only get in through one door.

• 1:09:55Matt McCusker?

  Sure.

• 1:09:55Speaker 00

  Hey, yo.

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:09:59Speaker 00

  When a guy, you can only get it into one door.

• 1:10:03Speaker 02

  You set up a crazy in you, I know.

• 1:10:05Speaker 00

  So the 55 year old pulled it out.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. Sweet man.

• 1:10:09Speaker 00

  Sweet man.

• 1:10:12Speaker 00

  Taste or?

• 1:10:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:10:16Speaker 02

  And, uh.

• 1:10:17Matt McCusker?

  Damn, so we just like literally like yanked it out of a shed and was like, let's hop in this thing and fly.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  He, yeah. So we go through the whole thing of like, he's explaining to me what he's doing. He's really patient. He's, you know. There's nobody around for you. Clear! Yells it out of the thing and we start the engine and it starts going and you know, my heart, you're wearing headphones. So that's helping, but I was like, is it going to be this loud? He's like, no, it's going to be louder. And I'm like, okay. And then we got to the, you know, he's taxiing and we get to the end of the runway and he calls out his tail sign or whatever it is. I'm waiting for, in my head, I'm going, I'm getting out of this fucking thing. And he says, you know, preparing it apart, says this thing. And then I think, oh, somebody's going to come back, give him clearance. And then he'll, I'll say, Don, I'm not doing this.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  The moment he said it, he was just putting that out to like any other pilot.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm going.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  And he just goes. And so then we're like, you know, this, and then, uh, the moment we start taking off, I go, I'm doing it, Don.

• 1:11:22Speaker 00

  I'm doing it, Don.

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  And he goes,

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  he shushed me. And then there was like some ordinance where, because you know, there's,

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

  I'm really doing it, Don.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  And then there's some ordinance because we were like flying right over a neighborhood. So you had to bank at a certain degree. So I was like, dude, that's a shit. And I was like,

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  and I had these two, oh man, I had these two water bottles and I was just crushed. And then I remember,

• 1:11:59Speaker 00

  You were squeezing water bottles?

• 1:12:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. This, I, but I now I'm remembering another embarrassing thing I said on a flight once, because this, so after that, then I went to Florida. And I was coming back to my friend and we were, we're sitting there and the pilot gets on and goes, uh, just want to let everybody know, we're going to hit some turbulence coming in. We're going to rock and roll. And so then I, I look over, I'm obviously petrified. And then we start hitting some turbulence and my friend just starts laughing hysterically. And I was like, you're going to laugh at your friend at a time like this? And that's really embarrassing.

• 1:12:33Speaker 00

  You lashed out against him the way you lashed out against Sweet Drake.

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  That's not my, it's my opinion. I don't like it.

• 1:12:39Speaker 00

  It's a totally fair, but I played a lot.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  And loud.

• 1:12:44Speaker 00

  I like, I like my music loud, dude.

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, you do.

• 1:12:49Speaker 02

  So we're all yelling now.

• 1:12:52Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:12:56Matt McCusker?

  So.

• 1:12:56Speaker 00

  Do you guys like the loud music on the plane? Oh, that seemed like a bunch of those.

• 1:13:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it wasn't really committal.

• 1:13:07Speaker 00

  We like the music. Thought you guys were B guys.

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  I was just trying to play loud music.

• 1:13:11Matt McCusker?

  They just said double take, like, what the fuck did you say? I just watched him go, huh?

• 1:13:18Speaker 00

  Thought you guys were bees.

• 1:13:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like the loud music on the plane. It kinda, it actually calms me down and gets me thinking about other shit.

• 1:13:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I could see it kinda taking the edge off in a way. Which is blasting, it's just party time. Just sucks if you crash while, I guess you might as well be blasting music while you crash.

• 1:13:35Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:36Matt McCusker?

  It's a difference.

• 1:13:37Speaker 00

  See that, I listen to him howling.

• 1:13:40Matt McCusker?

  What's really happening, Don?

• 1:13:46Matt McCusker?

  It's really happening, Don.

• 1:13:49Speaker 00

  How was landing? How did Don treat you?

• 1:13:51Speaker 02

  Uh, landing, landing was cool. I mean, it just was. I mean, when you're watching from the cockpit.

• 1:13:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  Um, and, yeah, I mean, it was scary, but it was an interesting experience.

• 1:14:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's kinda nice.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:07Matt McCusker?

  Those little planes are terrifying.

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  I would never do it again.

• 1:14:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. That's how I feel about skydiving. I'm like, my wife's always like, we gotta go. I'm like, I'm never going skydiving.

• 1:14:16Speaker 00

  Of course not.

• 1:14:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, like, what the fuck? Why would I do that? She gets fun. I'm like, no, not, never in my life. No desire.

• 1:14:24Speaker 02

  No, me neither. Of course not. I, I can't, I, just, I, I'd never.

• 1:14:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't like mind heights that much, but I'm like, I don't feel, it seems like a lot of.

• 1:14:34Speaker 00

  I wanna jump out of the fucking plane.

• 1:14:35Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying. Obviously, I would get nervous, like, jumping out of a plane, but it's just like, why even risk it at all? She gets indescribable. It's fine.

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  She's done it.

• 1:14:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. She loved it. I had a friend who used to skydive. He got, like, licensed to, like, do it by himself. And he would literally, like, smoke a blunt and jump out of a plane.

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  Oh, my goodness.

• 1:14:54Matt McCusker?

  And then he would complain. He's like, they're fucking saying I smell like weed. It's fucking bullshit. It's like, dude, it's a huge liability. Have you hide at their place, jumping out of a plane? She's fucking really on my ass about this. And he would give the guy who packed his parachute, he would, like, pay him in weed. I'm like, not a good idea, dude.

• 1:15:11Speaker 02

  Oh, my goodness.

• 1:15:12Speaker 00

  God damn.

• 1:15:13Matt McCusker?

  But he, he got licensed. He was doing it by himself, like, all the time. He, like, loved it. But I don't know if I'd, I'd, I'd want, I'd, that's the one thing I would say. I definitely want a guy strapped to my back.

• 1:15:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:24Matt McCusker?

  That one.

• 1:15:24Speaker 00

  I want a dude on me.

• 1:15:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I want a dude on me. I for real want a dude. I want a daddy in this guy.

• 1:15:29Speaker 00

  I want a daddy.

• 1:15:30Matt McCusker?

  Be like, you can do this yourself. I'm like, nah, man.

• 1:15:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:15:33Matt McCusker?

  I want daddy.

• 1:15:34Speaker 00

  Also, that way if things go wrong, we just fully smash.

• 1:15:37Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 1:15:38Speaker 00

  On impact.

• 1:15:39Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 1:15:39Speaker 00

  You get to experience the hardest fucking plowing.

• 1:15:42Matt McCusker?

  Oh my god, true.

• 1:15:44Speaker 00

  From the fucking stratosphere.

• 1:15:47Matt McCusker?

  Just your skull starts to cave in. You're like, hold on, just give me. Fuck, I wish I knew I liked this while I was alive. Yeah, true. Imagine how much of a blast you could have if you figured out you'd love that.

• 1:15:59Speaker 00

  Getting smashed?

• 1:16:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:02Matt McCusker?

  World would be your oyster.

• 1:16:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:16:04Matt McCusker?

  Crazy. You know what I wonder about too? Actually, we'll save it for the Patreon. I have.

• 1:16:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's switch over to the Patreon.

• 1:16:08Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 1:16:09Speaker 00

  God bless.

• 1:16:10Matt McCusker?

  Bye.

• 1:16:12Matt McCusker?

  What a cliffhanger.