First Date Red Flags with Jeremy Jacobowitz

We have our friend, content creator, and second GGE guest ever Jeremy Jacobowitz back on the show to talk about our favorite topics – food and dating. We kick this fun convo off talking about the most underrated food cities, traveling to Japan, LA vs. NYC food scenes, Jeremy's beef with a popular bagel spot, and using restaurant reservations as bait on dating apps. Then we discuss dating and specifically first dates – who should pay, is it weird if he offers to pick you up, why no one wants to have dinner on a first date, why men show their crazy more than women, and our listeners' nightmare first dates. Before Jeremy joins us, we break down the most unhinged dating app prompt we've seen and the meanest DM Ashley ever received. Enjoy! Follow Jeremy on Instagram @jeremyjacobowitz and Tiktok, listen to his podcast Let Me Tell You Why… with Jeremy Jacobowitz, subscribe to his Substack, and check out his website. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://rocketmoney.com/gge. iRestore: Get a huge discount on the iRestore Elite at https://irestore.com with code GGE. Skims: Shop Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at https://skims.com/gge and SKIMS LA Flagship on Sunset Blvd. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Dating in New York versus LA.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  Well, I've never dated out here. I don't know.

• 0:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 0:04Rayna Greenberg?

  But you'd just be fucking out here.

• 0:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys.

• 0:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Hi, guys.

• 0:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got It.

• 0:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Welcome back.

• 0:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  We've been laughing so hard.

• 0:30Rayna Greenberg?

  We have just been going off.

• 0:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's just a little treat for Anna. We just kept the cameras rolling.

• 0:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Should we release that?

• 0:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  The conversation we just had.

• 0:39Rayna Greenberg?

  A lot is happening.

• 0:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  There has been a lot happening.

• 0:44Rayna Greenberg?

  And it's just a really special time in rain.

• 0:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  We have been laughing. Another thing that's really funny.

• 0:50Rayna Greenberg?

  We're not trying to gatekeep it from you guys. It's just.

• 0:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  We'll talk about it.

• 0:53Rayna Greenberg?

  We have secrets. Yeah, you know, I have a personal, I have a personal life and I have a public life. But what is really funny is that you met your now fiance six weeks before your 40th. So I am coming up on that week.

• 1:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 1:06Rayna Greenberg?

  So I do have a date this week.

• 1:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I was like, has she missed the cutoff?

• 1:12Rayna Greenberg?

  No, it's this week.

• 1:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can still find your person six weeks before your 40th, everybody. But Raina's cutting it close.

• 1:19Rayna Greenberg?

  This week. I had a date last night. It's not gonna be him. Nice person, not a love match, but I have a, I have something lined up.

• 1:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  I really.

• 1:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I have two things lined up this week, actually.

• 1:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  I want this for the brand, because if you really can do this the exact same way I did it, that's the book. You have another book pitch for me, but that's the book.

• 1:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Find him before 40.

• 1:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Find him before 40. Just get him and grab him.

• 1:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  At the buzzer. Grab him up.

• 1:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I have one date with this guy whose profile says, big heart, bigger. And I love, last guy's just for sex.

• 1:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  To say you have a big dick, I want to be like, you know anything about my history? And you too. You blew a guy that had a. You blew a guy that had like a 10 inch cock.

• 2:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  And we never released his podcast episode. No, like, it's a crazy thing to say.

• 2:14Rayna Greenberg?

  He knocked my voice box out. I couldn't record the episode.

• 2:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  That was the COVID. No, it's a crazy thing to say. I mean, your dick better be at your knees.

• 2:23Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally. Like, to say it.

• 2:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  To say it. That's all I'm saying. Like, I don't need that big of a dick. It can't physically fit. I always say this. You just want it in your mouth. You just want to test your gag reflex. But it is a wild thing. Like, it's one of those things that piques someone's curiosity. Like, if a sexually charged woman, you're like, I gotta know.

• 2:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, I gotta know.

• 2:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  For either way. A, I gotta see this big old dick that you brag about on this app. Or B, if it's not big, I gotta tell all my girlfriends.

• 2:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, we're gonna be talking about it.

• 2:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  How I got scammed.

• 2:56Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm gonna be on the way home, just in a group chat with 15 people.

• 2:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, it was four inches hard.

• 3:01Rayna Greenberg?

  His heart actually wasn't that big.

• 3:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Okay, so anyway, Rena, yeah, she's got one week to find him. And she's trying. She's doing everything she can, so.

• 3:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. All right, well, let's talk about our partners.

• 3:15Rayna Greenberg?

  Thanks to Rocket Money, cancel your unwanted subscriptions at rocketmoney.com/ge. Cancel those dating app subscriptions, I'm gonna find my man. And Skims, shop Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at skims.com and Skims LA Flagship on Sunset Boulevard.

• 3:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you to Ira Store. Get a huge discount on the Ira Store Elite at irestore.com with code GGE.

• 3:37Rayna Greenberg?

  You, by the way, you look great today.

• 3:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thank you.

• 3:40Rayna Greenberg?

  You look very good. You kept us waiting 45 minutes, but it was worth it.

• 3:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Rena, I am injured. And I will talk about it. No.

• 3:48Rayna Greenberg?

  What did I say on that voice note? Your butthole's injured, not your legs?

• 3:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, you did say that, but it's all connected.

• 3:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, that's true. Your butthole's connected to your legs. But you looked really nice. I mean, I said, imagine, like, keeping people waiting 45 minutes and not walking in looking great.

• 4:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  So I have a date tonight.

• 4:03Rayna Greenberg?

  How you say it?

• 4:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I'm excited. We have a date night and we try to do one day night a week. And tonight we're going to this place called River, R V R in Venice. It's such a hotspot. We've already been, we went, me, you and Taylor and like sat at the communal table. And I made this reservation weeks ago because it's kind of hard to get in. So I was like, I'm just going to look on resi and see what date is available. So I've had this like booked for weeks. We're going to go, we're going to get dressed up. But I also look great because we went to Dr. Barrett, got my Daxify done. I'm feeling so fresh faced. I hadn't been in four months. I feel like I'm like pushing out my Daxify is what I get. It's the same as Botox, but better, I guess. And we obviously go to Dr. Daniel Barrett. He's been on the podcast in Beverly Hills and we just love him so much.

• 4:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  And he's, you know, he's the reason we look the way we do.

• 4:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I just came for the love of the game. I didn't even get anything done this time. I just love being there. I love talking to them. I love everybody in the office. It's such a nice environment and he did a reconstruction of my breast reduction. And so I just like, I, I feel indebted to him forever.

• 5:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's just so good. Like he, he's truly the best. And we were trying to like, get my like wedding schedule right. I mean, who knew, but I just like, I'm on a schedule and now I'm kind of in a weird place where I gotta go sooner, like shorter between, or like stretch, stretch it out now for like five months and then go. I mean, I'll figure it out. This is not a big deal.

• 5:27Rayna Greenberg?

  I was wondering, because I've, I've asked a couple of different like botox injectors when you are supposed to get it. And people say like three to four weeks before your wedding.

• 5:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And I've been doing the same thing with him for a year and a half now. Like it's, I know I would like, I can go a month before, I can go two months before, it's whatever. But the date thing, we sent our save the dates out. They all went to spam.

• 5:48Rayna Greenberg?

  I felt really sad.

• 5:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Every, every, maybe four people ended up in their primary folder. All of them went to spam.

• 5:54Rayna Greenberg?

  I felt really sad for you. I felt that sad for me because I was like really, you told me you were sending them out. And I was really excited for like that rush of opening it. And then you had to tell me.

• 6:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  We text everybody. It's in your spam.

• 6:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, it's also a crazy feeling because you hit send and you think that like the texts are going to start. Rolling in and were you just like, is everybody fucking serious? No one's gonna make a deal about this?

• 6:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, no, we, we knew they were, we, when we sent ourselves a test, it went to my spam.

• 6:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, you already knew?

• 6:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, so we were prepared at least.

• 6:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, imagine not knowing.

• 6:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  And it's just so frustrating. I mean, you love to see it because it's like a mass email technically from a company you didn't sign up to get these from. So it's going to end up in promotions in Gmail. It wasn't in like, but some people was in their junk. My brother was like top of my trash.

• 6:34Rayna Greenberg?

  It was in my trash.

• 6:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  In the trash.

• 6:36Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it was my spam folder.

• 6:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Our save the dates went to the trash.

• 6:38Rayna Greenberg?

  It's interesting though, because like all the other companies that do this, like Partyful is one that I use a lot. Like it doesn't go to people's spam. They figure it out how to like game this system.

• 6:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, Partyful or Evite, I mean, this is, this company that we're using, I actually do love it, but it is newer and I don't know, it's not maybe the, the traditional ones. So who knows? But yeah, it's just those people have it figured out, or you definitely have gotten emails from them before. This is a brand new sender for a lot of people. But did I tell you this? I can't remember if I sent this to you. I sent it out and then I was like chatting with my other best friend, Cory from childhood and I'm really emotional. She was like, I was kind of waiting to tell you this, but Ham and my actual anniversary is actually November 1st, when we got actually married. I like, it makes me really emotional because I was-

• 7:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Did you know this?

• 7:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  No.

• 7:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh my God.

• 7:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Because she said something about election day and I was like, oh my God, right? Election day, the day after Trump won in 2016, I flew to Mexico for her wedding. So I knew it was around there and I was like, our anniversaries are so close. And she was like, I've been waiting to tell you this, but our actual anniversary when we got married, because we, then we went to Mexico and you know, had the ceremony, but it was November 1st.

• 7:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, we have this same anniversary.

• 7:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  What are the odds?

• 7:49Rayna Greenberg?

  It's really special.

• 7:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  That is really special, like really, really special.

• 7:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 7:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  So, I don't know.

• 7:53Rayna Greenberg?

  You guys can take like anniversary trips together.

• 7:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 7:56Rayna Greenberg?

  You know what I was thinking is so interesting, like you're getting married. My other best friend is getting married. My like sister-in-law just had a baby. Some of our best friends who I was just in Vegas with, they just had a baby. It's six, some, he's a year old. It's interesting because I'm almost 40 and I'm in this phase of life. Almost forty where all of my closest friends are getting married and having babies. Like it's unheard of.

• 8:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 8:22Rayna Greenberg?

  I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't like interview all these people I've known my whole life at like 20 years old and said like, "Promise you're gonna wait a super long time to get married and have kids." Like so many people around me are just entering this phase of life. It's really interesting. And I don't have a bunch of friends in their twenties. If these are friends my age. So isn't that so odd?

• 8:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, I think about it all the time. Like it just felt like there was people, we were all like in our friend group, like before Andrew Cullen got married, we were like, we were all engaged. Like, and I know Andrew's in his 40s, Brenna's young, you know, but Taylor's our age. I mean, Kate and Chad, a little bit younger, but it was just like, I'm 41 and our friends are just like getting engaged.

• 9:04Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that's so crazy.

• 9:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or having kids, like you said, I love to see it.

• 9:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I was talking to my brother about this because we were talking about like bringing babies on trips and having to like stay home. So I had hosted a Super Bowl party and a friend of mine who'd just had a baby said to me like, "Can I bring the baby?" And I said like, "I don't know, I don't think you're gonna enjoy being at this with your baby." But it's interesting that I am having these conversations now.

• 9:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 9:26Rayna Greenberg?

  At this age.

• 9:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 9:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Because I think it's pretty rare.

• 9:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, it's definitely all changing. I mean, I feel like every day we see a new study or article about women choosing A, not to get married or have kids, but just doing it later in life and prolonging all this and for a multitude of reasons.

• 9:44Rayna Greenberg?

  And I love it.

• 9:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  We've experienced that in real life.

• 9:46Rayna Greenberg?

  I love it because I think it gives me, it gives people hope that like you don't have to have it all figured out by 27, 28, 30. Like so many people in my life that are really successful, worthwhile, amazing people like waited a really long time to do this. And so I just, I like that notion.

• 10:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 10:03Rayna Greenberg?

  But I feel like I didn't, I didn't expect to be this age in this phase of life.

• 10:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. This is a big part of my set that I'm doing on my tour too, being like an older bride.

• 10:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 10:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  I do it. But anyway, speaking of that, we went to Phoenix and Reina hosted the show.

• 10:18Rayna Greenberg?

  It was so fun to be a part of it. Thank you for including me. And I mean, I just, I loved it. I mean, I've seen your hour. I always feel like it gets better every time I see you do an hour. I had so much fun. We had such a great girl's trip because like it was, I was gonna be you and Brittany and then I was like, "I really want to go to this."

• 10:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, it was perfect. I needed a host. Brittany's not going to host and feature. So Raina hosted and Brittany featured and then I was just so fine. Like I just had this moment of like, God, to be able to do this.

• 10:46Rayna Greenberg?

  With your friends.

• 10:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is a work trip, you know, like we're all like boarding the plane together. Like we're going to like stand on stage and make people laugh. What a blessing.

• 10:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, a friend of mine, because you posted the three of us on a plane, you'd posted like work trip and somebody and I posted like, these are my colleagues. And a friend of mine was like, I'm so jealous. And I was like, oh, don't be. We're just, you know, this is like, we're going to be back in 12 hours. She was like, no, that like, those are your colleagues.

• 11:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, like that we get to do this.

• 11:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. And I just, you were fantastic and I love our audience so much. And I just want to like say that this, we hear this all the time, but the venue staff, the waitresses and the managers could not stop saying to us how wonderful our audience is, what a pleasure it is to have women here, women comics, oh, female audience. And a lot of people bring their partners, of course. It's a, it's still, you know, I don't know, would you say like a 30, 40% men on a?

• 11:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I mean, I'm seeing a lot of couples and I love it. And the guys are laughing, they're loving it. I get messages after my husband, my boyfriend, my fiance loved it. So it's not this like sorority party, you know, like it's definitely a mix.

• 11:48Rayna Greenberg?

  I just want to like hype our audience because like time and time and time again, every venue we ever perform in is like, you guys have the best audience. Every guest that comes on the show says the same thing. Like I just feel really blessed by the people that have stuck with us all these years.

• 12:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I want to keep it positive, but like it's, it shows the difference between like women and men. And I'm not saying that every male comic is badly behaved or their audience is, but the people that work in these places are so excited for a heavy female crowd and performers. Like the green room server, she was just like, you guys don't understand how great this is for me to not have men harassing me. You know, we're just, we were just cutting up with her, hanging out with her, you know, when she was telling us kind of some like not so great stories about what, what happens when it is male performers and then a heavy male audience. And it just, it makes me emotional to think about like how excited they get to see all these women come in. Cause everyone's going to get treated better.

• 12:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know, and like the vibes are better. Just, it's so nice. So that's a testament to all you guys that come out to, obviously my shows, but girls gotta eat shows and women.

• 12:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes. Individually, the staff kept coming up to us. Like, it wasn't like one person overheard another person. Like, the green room service said it. One of the barroom servers came up to me. The female manager came up to me. Everybody separately.

• 13:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 13:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Had this independent thought about how great you guys are.

• 13:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  And the way, this was the way in Chicago, the way these people treat me because of, like, A, I treat them well and with respect, and then it's the audience. Like, they're just like, these are the people we want in these venues. And they drink and spend money.

• 13:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. So shout out to you guys.

• 13:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. But we had these like moments in the green room. We were laughing so hard. Like, we were just like, should we just take this out on stage, the three of us, and see if people bite? Like, we, two things happened that were, some of the funniest things that have happened, like, of the year.

• 13:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. So, Brady and I are both single. She's really inspired me to like be on the dating app more because she's had some like pretty good luck with Field and Hinge. And she was showing us this profile, this guy. And I am constantly amazed, by the way, by like what people will put on their profiles. Like, I think we've had Logan Urie on the show a couple of times. She's the chief data scientist at Hinge. We've talked to her quite a bit about how to build a dating app profile. I was actually talking to my single guy friend in Vegas who was with us, and he was saying like, half the women on there say like, if you, if you don't expect to pay for a date, don't even talk to me. And I was like, it's interesting that people like lead with negativity or write so much.

• 14:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 14:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Because I think that like, I would think common sense is like, you don't need to write too much. You don't need to over, and definitely take the negativity out of it. Don't neg people. Don't make people feel uncomfortable. And I know that it's intimidating. I also do write a profile. And I laugh sometimes thinking about like, what people I've dated. Well, you've talked about that, what they would have built a profile from. Anyways, this guy, first prompt. The way to win me over is.

• 14:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  You have to read it the way you read it.

• 14:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Makes a nine-point list.

• 14:51Rayna Greenberg?

  If you're past three numbers, you've gone too far. He went to nine. Number one, lots of sex.

• 14:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, that was number one?

• 14:57Rayna Greenberg?

  That's how he led with it.

• 14:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Also, this is hinge.

• 15:00Rayna Greenberg?

  This is hinge. This is not field, by the way. Field, char.

• 15:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  I forgot lots of sex is first.

• 15:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Number one.

• 15:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  It goes all downhill from there.

• 15:07Rayna Greenberg?

  That's the least egregious. Also, a person that leads with lots of sex.

• 15:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 15:13Rayna Greenberg?

  On hinge.

• 15:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 15:15Rayna Greenberg?

  I know the rest of this is gonna be psychotic. Number two, ruthless communication.

• 15:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Ruthless. Ruthless. If you have written ruthless on a dating app prompt, you need to dial it back.

• 15:25Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't want you to do anything to me that's ruthless. I don't want you to ruthlessly make fun of me. I don't want ruthless.

• 15:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Ruthless.

• 15:31Rayna Greenberg?

  What does that mean?

• 15:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 15:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Nonstop?

• 15:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. What does it mean?

• 15:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Is it the tone of voice? Is it the volume of communication? Is it the tone of the communication?

• 15:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  First of all, he might not know what it means.

• 15:43Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't think he knows.

• 15:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  In his defense.

• 15:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I think he just means like.

• 15:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's just using words.

• 15:47Rayna Greenberg?

  A lot of communication, open communication.

• 15:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I do want to read the definition to ruthless.

• 15:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Having or showing no pity or compassion for others.

• 15:57Rayna Greenberg?

  No mercy.

• 15:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Communicating with no pity or compassion. No mercy.

• 16:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Communicate to the death.

• 16:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Synonyms are cruel, heartless, pitiless, merciless, hard. If that's how you want to be communicated with, that's so funny. Cause like, if you went into that and you just started like, really berating him, being very cruel, uncompassionate, you'd be like, you said ruthless.

• 16:24Rayna Greenberg?

  You asked for this.

• 16:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  You asked for this.

• 16:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Ruthless communication. I don't think that guy knows what that word means. Number three, constant support.

• 16:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Constant.

• 16:34Rayna Greenberg?

  No breaks, no days off, sometimes two a day. Constant support. Brutal honesty.

• 16:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Brutal.

• 16:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Did you need to say that after ruthless communication? That's a little redundant. Number five, fast forgiveness.

• 16:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Fast forgiveness.

• 16:50Rayna Greenberg?

  We know that this type of person needs to be forgiven often and quickly.

• 16:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  This guy is like, I am gonna piss you off.

• 16:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Number six, unconditional encouragement. There are no conditions for which you have to encourage me. So if I, I don't know, let me see if you guys even pick up on this reference. Unconditional encouragement means if you haven't launched a bar, you're a year before launching a bar and you've come up with like a logo.

• 17:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  A bar.

• 17:17Rayna Greenberg?

  And you throw a party for that bar in a city that that bar, state honestly, that that bar doesn't even exist in, and you still have not broken ground on that bar. I'm gonna go to that bar opening.

• 17:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  And the bar doesn't serve alcohol. Yes, also that.

• 17:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know what? Crack the code, you guys.

• 17:35Rayna Greenberg?

  You guys know what I'm talking about.

• 17:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just for the Bravo girlies.

• 17:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Number seven, prioritize each other. He takes it down a notch.

• 17:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 17:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's like, I did too much, I did too much.

• 17:44Rayna Greenberg?

  Prioritize each other. Number eight, physical affection.

• 17:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm surprised there wasn't an amplifier for that. I, like, I'm surprised it wasn't like smothering affection.

• 17:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, and also physical affection. Number, you already said lots of sex. By the way, after brutal honesty, constant support, fast forgiveness, unconditional encouragement. Number nine, shared spiritual growth.

• 18:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's the punchline. Shared spiritual growth. Who is spiritual that also is ruthless?

• 18:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's, the math is not mathing. It's, I can't get over it.

• 18:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Who wrote this and thought, nailed it.

• 18:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Send it.

• 18:21Rayna Greenberg?

  That's what's gonna get them.

• 18:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Full send.

• 18:23Rayna Greenberg?

  What? I read a lot of profiles that are so aggressive and I just, I wonder who is swiping yes on that, because this is a response to a relationship that you were in that lacked all these things. And you're like, let me just make my list of stuff I hated to get ahead of it. But like, I can't imagine a person saying yeses. I wonder what the return rate on something like this is.

• 18:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know.

• 18:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Because all these things are great. You know, of course you want like honesty, support, sex, encouragement, prioritizing each other, but like, it's too much and all this goes without saying. We all want these things.

• 18:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I wonder what that guy is like in person. I mean, I wouldn't want to find out personally, but we told Brittany too. But be safe. And speaking of aggressive, the other thing we were laughing at was Brittany and Brittany, this is the worst podcast, they did this thing recently where they read their hate comments on their podcast and they posted a reel about it. And we were just discussing that. And I was like, I got this DM years ago that was so mean and nasty. And it was probably the meanest DM I've ever gotten. And it was from this girl that used her real profile, which was insane. She was public. And I was like, you're gonna say that shit to me with your whole chest? I put it on my story. And I didn't, I didn't care. Like, I was just like, you're, you're asking for it. I don't do that a lot. I put it on my story.

• 19:38Rayna Greenberg?

  You've never done it since?

• 19:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I don't need to be doing that because I know people are gonna come for her. But I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna send it. But I pulled it up because I was like, I also remember it being like funny.

• 19:47Rayna Greenberg?

  And we never read it. And I also was, she said, we did this like hate comments episode. You and I were like, couldn't be us. Like, we're never gonna search that information out. You guys can write whatever you want about me on the internet. I'll never see it. I'm not gonna look at it. I can't, I have to protect my energy. But like, when you think like, what's, what's the kind of hate comments you want? Like, it's, it's something that's so unhinged.

• 20:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, it was unhinged. It was, it shook me in the moment because it was so nasty. But then I like laughed about it. And everyone got a kick out of it. Whatever people did, because it was out in the open who this girl was, you know, that's on them. But I was like, for once, I'm gonna blast somebody. I can't believe you didn't write that with your Finsta. So.

• 20:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, let's talk about what you did to provoke her.

• 20:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, we were on a trip, we were on a trip in Greece and.

• 20:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Your birthday trip?

• 20:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was my birthday trip. Yeah, so this is my birthday. And shit was on fire in America, like it always is. And so I posted a photo of us on this boat in Greece on the 4th of July. I said, America who?

• 20:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, it could mean just I like being on this boat in Greece and I come back from Greece. Everybody goes to Europe or Asia and it's just like, I'm never coming home. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it doesn't mean anything.

• 20:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  It shouldn't have been so triggering.

• 20:58Rayna Greenberg?

  It doesn't mean anything to me.

• 20:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so she came in 11:04 PM. I mean, that was the time it was in Greece. I don't know what time it was stateside. LOL, America who? Then move, you absolute hideous big fupa twat.

• 21:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Stop. You guys, I'm gonna muffle my laugh. No, to Brittany and Rachel, we're on the floor. I couldn't breathe. Stop shitting on the country that allows you to be as absolutely hideous as you are, yet still make a semblance of a living laugh emoji. Semblance? I'm doing great.

• 21:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm on a boat in Greece.

• 21:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  Semblance of a living. You are an actual trash emoji can. By the way, did she do the trash emoji and then write can? Can, yes. That's a little redundant.

• 21:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's the redundancy for me. Honestly, the length of your vagina is concerning.

• 21:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Are you a doctor? Honestly, the length of your vagina is concerning. Three laugh emojis. You might be the ugliest woman that has ever...

• 22:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  You might be the ugliest woman that has ever walked the planet.

• 22:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  And it's not even just because you're physically absolutely fucking hideous.

• 22:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Can't breathe. But your spirit and your soul is black dust. There's tears coming out of my face. You, like, you ooze disgustingness. You make people shudder.

• 22:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  This girl's so mad at you. Yikes, she's loves it. Why I K E S, yikes, you trash horse bitch.

• 22:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mic drop.

• 22:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  She loves America and hates you so much. Oh my god. Yeah, so, you know. Drop the handle. No, I'm just kidding. Just the intensity of that, like, I was like, let's put on the story. The vagina thing, I was like, this is... Wait, what did you tell me the first line? A big fubitwot?

• 23:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's just so funny, because, you know, I'm not hideous.

• 23:18Rayna Greenberg?

  My vagina isn't even that long. You're tall. I mean, it's just like an average size.

• 23:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know, I do, I talk about my camel toe and all that stuff, whatever. I just, it was unreal. And I'd forgotten how aggressive it was. Like, I think I, I looked at it in the moment and I didn't reference it again. And so I had forgotten too. So we were reading this in the green room. We were on the floor. That was one of my favorite, like, girls laughing moments I've had in a long time where nobody can catch their breath.

• 23:45Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I'm still laughing so hard at this. She was so mad at you.

• 23:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 23:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, I, I can't imagine what you could have done to incite this type of anger. You're just on a birthday trip with your friends.

• 23:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  When we were laughing about this, like, and then Raina goes, "Wasn't it your birthday?" Then we started laughing all over again.

• 24:03Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, that person needs help. I cannot believe something like, what hap- I'm, I'm, I'm curious what happened to her that day. That she was just scrolling through your stories, you're just minding your own business on a trip for your birthday. And she was like, "I'm gonna write the meanest thing I can possibly think of."

• 24:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm curious what happened to her after I posted it all, so.

• 24:22Rayna Greenberg?

  I hope she had a really bad day, week, month, year.

• 24:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  So anyway, that was Phoenix and that's the BTS of the green room. And I do just want to talk about my medical history. I said that I would because I said I was like going to the doctor last week on the sack. So something resurfaced that happened to me in 2022. And I talked about this, that I had like a cyst situation in my butt crack. Babe, turn this off if you're listening. This is my, for my fiance. He needs to turn it off right now because he knows sort of it, but not all the details.

• 24:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, you didn't tell him all the details?

• 24:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, he knows what's going on, but not like the, all the language. I mean, you know, I try to, I don't need to tell him.

• 24:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. You want to keep the magic alive.

• 25:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So I have never, ever gotten more DMs than when I talked about it.

• 25:06Rayna Greenberg?

  You really debated talking about it and I was like, that's crazy.

• 25:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So I talked about having cyst is actually the incorrect word. It's an abscess, which is disgusting.

• 25:14Rayna Greenberg?

  A ruthless abscess.

• 25:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  A ruthless abscess. On my butt. And I mean, right, I will say with certainty, I've never, I mean, I even checked today. I like put in a few keyword searches in my DMs and just floods. Like so many people were like, I've had this. Thank you for talking about it. I've never felt so seen. Doctors were in the DMs and like, we fix these and drain these all day. You know, this is fine. This is normal. Like people felt so seen. So I had this situation and it really escalated. I don't know how much I shared in 2022. I went to a doctor, then I thought it was gone. Then I just came back and then it was got infected. We were in LA. I had to go to an urgent care. It was like a salt on my butthole. Like when I was at that urgent care in LA. And then I got antibiotic and then I was allergic to it and I broke out in a rash while we were on GMA. It was a whole thing. And so it came out again. And that's where I had to go to

• 26:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  the doctor. And I noticed it kind of coming on. And I was like, trying to just like, put heat on it and like, fix it myself. And of course, I couldn't. And we actually went to Dr. Barrett and I asked him and he was like, you need to go get that fixed immediately.

• 26:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Can I tell you what made me laugh?

• 26:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 26:13Rayna Greenberg?

  So far. We were in the office with Dr. Barrett and you're like, can I talk to you about something? I have this system. He goes, on your vagina.

• 26:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  I've been thinking about that, too. I said, this is a little, yes, I said, this is a little embarrassing, I'm having this issue. And he cut me off on your vagina.

• 26:25Rayna Greenberg?

  It was so earnest. He's so, he's so innocent and sweet. I love him.

• 26:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wanted to beat me to the punch. Like, I think he thought I didn't want to say it.

• 26:34Rayna Greenberg?

  When he said, on your vagina.

• 26:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  I had to be like, no, on my butthole.

• 26:39Rayna Greenberg?

  No, it's somehow worse.

• 26:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  And he was like, oh, an anorectal abscess. Like immediately, he knew. I think that's the right word. So I was able to get into this specialist who I love and see her, because I was in so much pain. It was, I started to feel like I was gonna pass out. Like, the pain was like, at a high level, which I hadn't experienced before. Like, when we were recording, I was just like, pushing through it. And I was like, thank God she could see me. And so I got it taken care of. And they just like, shoot you up with local anesthesia and then you get an incision, they drain it. And then you kind of just like, it drains out, it's disgusting, whatever. You have to keep like, gauze on it and keep it dressed and all that. But right at the position I had to be in, so with the, I'm gonna act it out. The urgent care, I was face down, years ago. I was like, face down, ass up, but like, fully laying.

• 27:24Rayna Greenberg?

  So like, not in doggy?

• 27:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not in doggy. Yesterday, so there's the bed that you would lay in when you're at the gyno, you know, and then the little

• 27:35Rayna Greenberg?

  With the stirrups?

• 27:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, no stirrups. I'm just giving you the visual. It's like the chair that reclines.

• 27:39Rayna Greenberg?

  A doctor's chair.

• 27:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not a full bed, but the chair.

• 27:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, okay.

• 27:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then there's a little step stool right here.

• 27:44Rayna Greenberg?

  For me.

• 27:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  So she said, put your knees on that step stool. And then

• 27:48Rayna Greenberg?

  What are you? No! Ashlyn, this is insane!

• 27:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then she's

• 27:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Elbows down.

• 27:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, yes.

• 27:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Knees down, elbows down.

• 27:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 27:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Asshole up in the air.

• 27:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 27:58Rayna Greenberg?

  And you would, what, plank like that?

• 28:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, that, my body was laying down in the bed, but

• 28:03Rayna Greenberg?

  The core strength.

• 28:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, my bo- I was, my body was laying in bed, but like I was, it was doggy.

• 28:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Ankles crossed. When she put the anesthesia in, she was like, wig your toes, this is gonna hurt, it's gonna sting. Like, she was amazing.

• 28:17Rayna Greenberg?

  How long did this last?

• 28:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, she was way better than that urgent care lady who took it upon herself to do this years ago. Like, I was in and out. She knew exactly what to do and she, like, got it done. But that position, I was like, this is demoralizing. Like, I cannot believe this.

• 28:31Rayna Greenberg?

  I, I, I'm so shook by this.

• 28:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 28:34Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't think I've ever had to do that.

• 28:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  But that's how you gotta be so, you gotta spread 'em.

• 28:38Rayna Greenberg?

  That's crazy.

• 28:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's happened to me yesterday and I'm a new woman. I mean, immediately you feel relief if you have any sort of cyst, abscess type situation.

• 28:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Inside your crack.

• 28:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  But then, you know, I'm bleeding out of my, my butt and I was, that was painful too. And now I feel great.

• 28:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you feel like you could have sex?

• 29:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  No.

• 29:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh.

• 29:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, maybe tomorrow. Like, last night, it was off the table.

• 29:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 29:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I still had like a pad. I had, wore a pad.

• 29:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Butt pad?

• 29:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just a pad pad.

• 29:10Rayna Greenberg?

  In your crack.

• 29:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I just kinda pull it up towards, to the back of butt pad, yeah.

• 29:16Rayna Greenberg?

  It's just, it's funny that like you have to share this with somebody.

• 29:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes.

• 29:19Rayna Greenberg?

  That you live with.

• 29:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. And I'm so open with him. Like, I just, I think that's real love. You know, he's not grossed out by this kinda stuff. He's been with me through like weird body stuff, truly, like Honestly, pretty early on, we dealt with something that was like a lot physically for me and he was around for it. So he's great, but I don't need to be talking to him about this. Like,

• 29:39Rayna Greenberg?

  I think that, listen, you share whatever you want with your partner. For me, the way that I've gamed intimacy, I take it even further than any, because I've lived with three men, I've never gone to the bathroom with the door open. I don't even pee with the door open. I just don't. I certainly would never poop with the door open. I don't talk about it. I've never farted anywhere near a partner. Zero partners in the world that have ever been around me farting. I just, it's not for me. All that stuff is not for me. I know that tons of couples are not like that. I think a lot of people are like, what are you talking about? You close the door to pee? What if you're in the middle of a conversation?

• 30:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 30:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I don't do it. It's just not something I've ever done.

• 30:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 30:10Rayna Greenberg?

  I will talk about anything. That is the only thing that's not on the table for

• 30:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, exactly. You just don't need to see it. Like, he knows that I'm going in sometimes to the bathroom post-sex to hover over the toilet and, you know, do what we need to do.

• 30:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 30:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, he knows that stuff. It's like, he doesn't need to see it. And that's also fine if you choose to keep the door open and do all that.

• 30:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Lots of people are like that.

• 30:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  But yeah, this whole situation, going to the bathroom, it is traumatic. And I shared stuff with you this morning. I'm not telling him. It's fucking gross. That's best friend shit. That's why he's not my best friend.

• 30:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it's not your best friend.

• 30:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Anyway, so I'm okay, guys. That's what's going on with me.

• 30:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 30:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, well, we are just gonna talk about our partners and then get into it with Jeremy. I am so excited to tell you guys about I Restore. Rain and I have been rocking these helmets. Can't wait to tell you about them.

• 30:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I love them.

• 30:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  So this is so huge for me and so many women out there who are worried about thinning hair and they want to get their hair fuller and healthier. The I Restore Elite, which is the product that we received, is clinically proven to help regrow hair using 300 lasers and 200 LEDs that send light therapy directly into your scalp. You can just pop it on while catching up on your favorite shows or even while you relax with a good book, whatever you're doing, you can just wear it. So I've always done red light on my face and see the effects of that. And even when we had Dr. Barrett on, he was like, that is like one of the number one things you can do for your face. And so this is basically doing that for your hair. And for a limited time, our listeners are getting a huge discount on the I Restore Elite when you use code GGE at irestore.com.

• 31:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's promo code GGE at irestore.com to get huge savings on the hair regrowth device you've been wishing for and start feeling like yourself again. Okay, so it's this helmet. We'll throw a picture up on the screen, has all these lights. You just put it on 12 minutes daily, so not that long. It's maximum scalp coverage. It is the number one on the market, most powerful for home use. Again, 12 minutes a day, a little bit longer than they went to space, but uh, this is longer than that.

• 32:09Rayna Greenberg?

  This is actually worthwhile, unlike that. I, there are not enough jokes on the internet.

• 32:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. In a four-month double-blind clinical study performed by a board-certified dermatologist and laser surgeon, nearly all participants saw an increase in hair growth with iRestor's laser and LED technology. You can feel confident you're buying a system with proven results. It has the most advanced hair regrowth technology. I mean, it's just the best. I can't like say enough good things about it. I'd seen these and I was like, do those really work? And so now we're really doing it. And I mean, I've just kind of started, but you know, look at my hair today, honestly. This is a, this is a good endorsement. Yeah. So we just love it. It's the iRestor Elite device is the best at-home laser device in the world, has more lasers, LEDs and power output than the competition, ensuring you'll see results. We're such fans, they offer a 12-month money-back guarantee, so you can try it risk-free. If your hair doesn't make a glorious return, you'll get a full refund,

• 32:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  no awkward questions, just fabulous hair or your money back. Of course, this is for men, women, for whoever is, you know, wanting to have more and healthier hair. So you can give yourself the gift of hair confidence this spring. For a limited time only, our listeners are getting a huge discount on the iRestor Elite when you use code GGE at irestore.com. Head over to irestore.com and use code GGE for our show's exclusive discounts on the iRestor Elite. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Hair loss is frustrating. You don't have to fight it alone, thanks to iRestor.

• 33:28Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, and Skims has brought back their ultimate push-up bra. So it's pretty much the only bras that I wear and I really like an underwire bra and I really think about my boobs so much. I have Really put a lot of attention to them over my life. But I, I love their bras and I've always wanted to wear underwire, of course, but push-up bras I've kind of struggled with because they tend to feel really bulky and heavy. And so I don't love them from other companies, but theirs really is great. So it lifts and separates and it goes really well with different necklines, hemlines, and it's super comfortable to wear. They have a million colors and sizes, like always. It's definitely hands down my favorite push-up bra.

• 34:10Rayna Greenberg?

  And if you're just, if you're just looking to like oomph it up a little bit, look kind of sexy, you know? Those bras are great. So those are out now. I love all their bras. Honestly, I wear their fits everybody bras as well. And I always mention this, but I, I sleep in these bras too. That's how comfortable that they are. So you guys can check it out. You can shop the Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at skims.com and Skims LA flagship on Sunset Boulevard. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select Podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. And I actually am really excited to do this read. So with prices going up just about everywhere lately, being smart with your money isn't just a good idea. It is essential, but managing subscriptions, tracking spending and cutting costs can feel overwhelming. Of course it is for me too.

• 34:52Rayna Greenberg?

  But lucky for you, Rocket Money takes the guesswork out of it so you can easily make smart decisions. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I mean, from the minute I downloaded this, the interface is so easy to use. It identifies all of these subscriptions that you have. I have so many subscriptions that I signed up for a 30-day trial and then forgot about. And you're like, I've been paying for that all this time. I mean, that's their goal. Yeah, that, that's the hope. And so Rocket Money will help you to just aggregate all those subscriptions in one place. So you know where your money is going and they can help you cancel them as well. And their dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts too. So you can create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep your spending on track.

• 35:34Rayna Greenberg?

  And we did this whole great episode last week with Tori Dunlap about finance and getting your finances in order, budgeting, things like that. So this is an amazing tool if you guys were inspired by that episode as well. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year. When they use all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show's name, Girls Gotta Eat, in the survey so they know we sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from our show.

• 36:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, and so we have Jeremy today. I just want to give a quick disclaimer up top. First of all, my energy is at a 12 in this interview.

• 36:14Rayna Greenberg?

  I was looking at it last night.

• 36:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  You were so amped to have Jeremy on. I know. You think I have a crush on Jeremy. You're watching it. You're like, what is going on? I think it was just, I was so excited to like, talk to our friend. And we talked about food so much. Like, I was watching back. I was like, calm down, sis.

• 36:28Rayna Greenberg?

  You really wanted this. I didn't care.

• 36:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  I had so much fun. And he's so fun. Like, he just like laughs at us. It's just like a really fun interview. I'm really excited for you guys to listen to it. But as I was watching back last night, there is this like, one thing I just wanted to clarify. We talk about New York versus LA food and also dating and all kinds of things. But we talk about how kind of like the hot restaurants in New York are all like a certain type of restaurant. And just want to make it super clear that we don't think New York is all one type of restaurant. It like goes without saying. It's like this insanely diverse food scene, one of the most in the country. They have every type of cuisine in all the different types of neighborhoods. And I just felt people latching on to like, how could you say New York is all Italian? It's like, that's not what we meant. We meant like, the hot spots feel similar these days.

• 37:08Rayna Greenberg?

  I think New York, it is the most diverse cuisine in the world. It is a melting pot. It's the biggest population of Cantonese people outside of China. It's the best Chinatown in the world.

• 37:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  The best.

• 37:18Rayna Greenberg?

  If you are lucky enough to go to Queens, there's so much Indian food, Indonesian food, Russian, Middle Eastern, et cetera. And also, that's obviously in Brooklyn and Manhattan too. But I was a food blogger for years, so I don't subscribe to it all. Being Italian is just what we were talking about, like the 10 hottest places right now, hardest to get into, all the most Italian.

• 37:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  It feels, it's a little bit of a bummer. Like, it kind of feels like everyone has hopped on just like a very specific type of restaurant, and those are like the hottest places. And there is so much more. And so I just want to make it super clear before we get into that conversation. You guys get it. Most of you will get it. But it's something that I just wanted to flag. So let's get into it.

• 37:53Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, guys. We are very excited to welcome back a very long time ago guest. He is one of my dearest friends. He's a producer and a content creator. He is one of the OG food bloggers. That's how we met. Please welcome back to the show Jeremy Jacobowitz.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  I can't believe I'm back.

• 38:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Eight years? Seven years?

• 38:12Rayna Greenberg?

  You've been trying.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Your audience has been asking too. They DM all the time. Like, you should be back on the show. I'm like, you gotta DM the girls.

• 38:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, Jeremy, it was my idea to have you back.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 38:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  So we were supposed to record with you like the day of the fires.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Yes, I'm back in LA because the last time I was in LA, literally like when it landed, I left LAX and as we were leaving LAX, the driver was like, oh, holy shit. And we saw it.

• 38:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God.

• 38:37Rayna Greenberg?

  It was that afternoon.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was that afternoon and not to whatever, but like every time I'm in LA, there's a fire. So I was like, oh, like that's horrible, but okay, like didn't think about it. But obviously it was not what it seemed to be at first.

• 38:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I was driving to pick up Ashley also, and I was like, oh, look, there's smoke coming from the mountain. There's always.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  I was thinking about some of those times when you truly have no concept of how it's gonna be. Like this was when I left my apartment building in New York for COVID. It was like, see you in two weeks. And it was just like three months later. Like, you know, like, we were like, well, maybe we can record with Jeremy tomorrow. Like, it just got so bad. You just have no concept. It's so terrible. So anyway, welcome back.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Thank you. Well, even the COVID stuff, like, remember, we filmed together. I filmed you guys from one of your episodes. Like, one of the last things we did as like a society was I went to your apartment.

• 39:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  To Ashley's apartment.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Because I remember I have the photos with all my gear in the back of the car with the plastic on.

• 39:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  He came and shot.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  This is the first time the plastic was like on an Uber. Remember that shit?

• 39:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Uh huh. He shot for us. We did a trailer. It was our first YouTube trailer. Jeremy was in my apartment.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 39:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, in your apartment. When we were thinking, should we do video? And then jokes on us, we had to do Zoom.

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 39:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  For three and a half months. Remember, he came and set up.

• 39:49Rayna Greenberg?

  And Jeremy shot the original Girls Got to Eat cover art.

• 39:52Speaker 01

  It was in Times Square and the billboard, everywhere.

• 39:55Rayna Greenberg?

  The original pose of us. Yeah.

• 39:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  In the Williamsburg Hotel.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  Yes. Oh, I meant it. I meant it.

• 40:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then we put it in Times Square.

• 40:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God.

• 40:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Back down with my bad teeth and my bad eyebrows.

• 40:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Aw, cutie.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  Nobody noticed with that being that big, you know?

• 40:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, you were our, I think, third guest on the show, May 21st, 2018. We did solos for a long time.

• 40:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God.

• 40:17Rayna Greenberg?

  But we, um.

• 40:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Literally eight years.

• 40:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. So Ashley's been trying to get you back all this time.

• 40:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Seven, guys, seven. Someone's gonna call me on the comments.

• 40:24Rayna Greenberg?

  So like, what's been up?

• 40:30Speaker 01

  You know, just living life, traveling, eating. I mean, I, I mean, you know, I travel so much.

• 40:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I'm like, is Jeremy in Japan again?

• 40:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  So it's just like, I want, let's talk about Japan. Fuck it. We don't have anything planned for this episode. No, we do.

• 40:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Ashley goes, do you have questions for Jeremy?

• 40:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Japan is so exotic to me.

• 40:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Every time she says exotic, it makes me laugh.

• 40:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's such a.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  It is a different universe.

• 40:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  I have not been to Asia and so you're always there.

• 40:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Eating eggs, salad.

• 40:59Speaker 01

  Oh, egg salad sounds a seven, I'm my favorite in the whole world. Yeah, no, but like I've been now three years in a row to Japan.

• 41:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  What?

• 41:05Speaker 01

  And Korea a few times in there and Singapore and Japan is just like, it is a different universe. It's a huge culture shock. It is. I respect their culture. I love their culture. I love the food. I love everything about it. And but part of it is very much like, I don't experience anything like this. I've only ever lived in New York City and going to Tokyo is completely overwhelming.

• 41:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Really?

• 41:22Speaker 01

  People, the subway, the streets, the food, everything. I'm like, holy shit. This hurts my brain.

• 41:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  But people are more like orderly.

• 41:29Speaker 01

  I mean, compared to America.

• 41:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  I guess.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's different. It's always a different kind of polite, very, very polite, like.

• 41:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  There's no like litter and stuff, right?

• 41:37Speaker 01

  No, absolutely not. I went to a Maroon five concert at the Tokyo Dome. So it's like fucking 70,000 people there. And the concert dance, first of all, it starts at 6:30. What a dream. Starts 6:30 and it starts at 6:30. 6:31, they were on stage.

• 41:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  America could never.

• 41:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Never.

• 41:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  You'll be in your seats till nine.

• 41:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, at 8:30, done, just done. And then everyone, so everyone's standing whole time, right? And then it ends and everyone sits down. And I was like, weird, but okay, like you just do whatever else does. You do not whatever. So nobody realizes everyone sat down because they call sections out to leave one at a time. And that's the only way to leave.

• 42:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Nothing has ever stressed me out more than leaving the Taylor Swift concert in London. It's 100,000 people and I don't even, I didn't even comprehend like what that was going to feel like for 100,000 people to exit a stadium. It took us three hours to just get out of there, get on a train and get home. And I just want to, my sister in law was pregnant. I mean, it's, it really stresses me out.

• 42:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yet leaving Beyonce, I was like, I needed to wear sneakers just for the walk into and out of SoFi. I'm like, I feel like I took a tour SoFi. So thank you for indulging my Japan questions. My fiance and I've talked about going there and we'll obviously. Maybe for our honeymoon, but we'll talk to you. Yeah, we'll talk tonight at dinner.

• 42:47Rayna Greenberg?

  So if people don't know you, you're like one of the original food bloggers. Like when food was not a big thing on Instagram, you started this Instagram called Brunch Boys. And I've watched your content really just change. I mean, you've taught yourself how to really fully produce extremely amazing content. And you do a lot of travel content. So if people want like travel recs, especially like you say, like you don't call it this, but like secondary cities. So like, there's a million travel videos about New York, Chicago, LA. But like, you'll go to Houston or Detroit or Philadelphia and like do great travel content in those cities.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you. No, I mean, that's like part of it is one is just like, I'm passionate about it. I love it. I mean, you say like I learned it there, but like I've worked in food TV for years. I've been in this space a very long time now, 10 years influencing, which is crazy. I mean, we have friends that started with us too. And like, they don't do this anymore because you have to change and adapt, as you did.

• 43:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, yeah, I started in 2014.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you went and told, both you guys started somewhere, went in totally separate direction. But you like saw what was happening, where's it going and went with it. Were we have friends that just didn't?

• 43:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, you gotta pivot. Okay, I have a question, which I think you do talk about this on your content, but I don't know. I feel like people listening might want to know. What do you feel like is maybe two of the most underrated food cities in America?

• 43:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, I love this question.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  Houston, number one.

• 44:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Houston is so diverse, it's crazy. Cause they have a lot, a huge pockets of really interesting, different immigrant populations there. And they all have their own little communities and like from Egyptian to Indian to this or that. Like really, really diverse and plus Texas and Tex-Mex and you know, all that stuff too. Philly's crushing it. Every time I go back to Philly, so good.

• 44:21Rayna Greenberg?

  It's the content you produce the most that I'm just like, God, I gotta get there.

• 44:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're like this Philly food guy.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  It's so funny, like I probably get more DMs from Philly restaurants now than I do New York. Just because like, there's not like a lot of Philly food influencers. So like, I've now been a few times in the past two years and I'm, I guess I'm like one of the top people there now, you know?

• 44:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  You probably are.

• 44:42Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 44:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Those cities, yeah, they're just not as many. You know, I know at this point, like the main Boston ones, you know, there's just not going to be as many as LA and New York. So, go Birds. We love to see it.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Where else do you like to travel to for food?

• 44:53Speaker 01

  I want to get back to Montreal.

• 44:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  I'm dying to get up there.

• 44:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  I like the idea of the smaller stuff too. Like, not that I need to go back, but when I was in TV, I traveled so much, especially in America. And I always appreciate those things. Listen, do I want to live in Wichita, Kansas? No offense, no. But do I want to experience it and try to like appreciate what makes it good for someone else? Yes. And like, I think that's what I love about traveling, loving about experiencing things. It's like, yeah, like, I love New York. I don't ever want to live anywhere else in New York. Maybe LA, but like, that's it. New Yorker life for me.

• 45:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  But I love seeing how other people live and not judging it in any way. Like, knowing it's not for me, but still trying to get an understanding of it. I think it's like really special and food's such a great way to experience that.

• 45:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know, my mom just took this girl's trip to Chattanooga and she was like, best food.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Maybe.

• 45:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  I was like, I don't know, but I mean, who am I to say?

• 45:40Rayna Greenberg?

  But it might be really unique. Like, I tell people about New Orleans, like, it's not only is it great, you can't get it anywhere else. Like, no one does New Orleans cuisine like New Orleans. It's really unique and special. What would you say about the New York food scene versus the LA food scene? Because you really have loved the LA food scene for a very long time. You know it way better than I ever have.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  I'll say this. I think New York has the better restaurants. I prefer the LA food scene more though.

• 46:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, Jeremy, go off. Okay, why?

• 46:07Speaker 01

  I think it's a few things. I think that, one, it's sort of unfair where the LA is so much bigger than the New York. So, just diversity, you're going to have so much more. I think that the way I like to eat, like Asian food, more fresh, more seafood, more produce focused, it's easily going to be LA. I think it's easier to be a little bit riskier in LA than is in New York right now, unfortunately, just the way it works for the restaurant industry. You can't take a chance. You're not going to find that space to even try and take a chance. Where here, you could find a really unique space and maybe it's a little less, maybe it's somewhere else, maybe it's a little different kind of neighborhood, but you could try more. So, you just get more of that here.

• 46:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  I probably told this before. I think I saw a tweet from Jared Freed before we moved here and it said LA is the best food city in America. And I thought he was trolling. I thought he was joking. I was like, what the fuck are you saying? So I want to say that like, as a former New Yorker, like, I was like, what are you, is this a joke?

• 46:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 47:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I moved here and I was like, it's my favorite. I've never had a bad meal. I think the food here is absolutely the best. We were out one, one time and this guy, friend of ours, was dating this girl and Raina goes, Ashley, get over here. Listen to what this girl said. Raina goes, tell her what you just said to me. And she was like, I'm a born and raised native New Yorker and I think LA is the best food city in America. And I was like,

• 47:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree.

• 47:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  And this is no shade in New York, it's the best.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  No, I mean, again, I think like, the upper level of the New York City restaurants are always even better in LA. But it's like, when I look at the openings in New York, I'm like, do we need another fancy Italian restaurant?

• 47:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Another New American restaurant.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's all, and it's all the same kind of menu. Not that it's not great food, but it's just like, it's harder to take a risk. So yeah, you're gonna, why not open another corner store or whatever, you name it, like, that works, that's hip and trendy. And like, look at that menu. Great. Open that up a hundred more times.

• 47:45Rayna Greenberg?

  It's funny that you like, say Italian, because like, a girlfriend of ours, Jenny, was like, where should I go in New York? And I was like, oh, we got you. Because she picked like, an area. And I wrote four or five restaurants and I was like, oh my God, every one of these is Italian. Like, it's just, it's New American and Italian. And LA is so amazing, because there's Koreatown and Thai Town and Boyle Heights for Mexican food and Chinatown.

• 48:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tacos.

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Which was the New York has too. You want to go to Queens, you want to go to different places. Like, we have that too.

• 48:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Exactly.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  It is just different.

• 48:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  I wonder if there is something about Angelino's, we're just always know we gotta be in the car and travel. Like, it's not, New York, you're like, I'm not going to Queens on a whim. Like, you, you know, like, if you live in the Lower East Side, like, I think we're so used to travel.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  But it's also like, I'm in Williamsburg, it's like, I'll go to the West Village for a great meal. Where like, here, I don't know if you're gonna go that far.

• 48:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I, yeah, I don't know. I'm just like, I will, we will make the trek.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  Oh, really? Because when I would make reservations on the East Side, you would yell at me.

• 48:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, tonight, we're going to dinner at the Benjamin and it's gonna be an hour drive.

• 48:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're going to Hollywood tonight, baby.

• 48:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Hollywood, baby.

• 48:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, Jeremy, can we talk about your love for tuna? Because

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Oh, man, yeah, always.

• 48:50Rayna Greenberg?

  I have tuna in the fridge.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  I ate tuna twice already today.

• 48:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Guys, it's 11 a.m.

• 48:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Gets it at the airport at like 6 a.m.

• 48:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Have you always been a tuna king?

• 49:00Speaker 01

  LaGuardia tuna wrap.

• 49:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Were you a tuna prince when you were a little kid?

• 49:03Speaker 01

  No, but I have merch that is says tuna king on it. So I'll be the king. No, I love it. Love tuna. Great protein.

• 49:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  But always? Like, did you grow up eating tuna?

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 49:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  I mean, I'm a Jew. We eat tuna, you know?

• 49:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, Jews aren't like

• 49:15Speaker 01

  It's canned fish.

• 49:16Rayna Greenberg?

  synonymous with tuna.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  I think canned fish is a lot of

• 49:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, we did too, because I'm an American. There's a lot of canned. Somebody told me the other day, the only food he doesn't eat is canned tuna. Like, that's the hard line.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  So weird. I do think like people have a weird perception. People are like, it's so smelly. I'm like, as a kid, I think I remember that, but I don't think tuna smells anymore.

• 49:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think people are like, how could you break open a tuna sandwich on an airplane? And you're like, I do it every time I fall.

• 49:37Speaker 01

  I eat it before I get on the plane, normally.

• 49:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, you do? Okay.

• 49:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll, I'll take it to the lounge. I'll go pay $18 for a wrap and then go to the lounge.

• 49:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you really don't discriminate. Like, you're like high end, low end. You'll eat tuna anyway.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, basically. Yeah, basically.

• 49:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Sebo you like?

• 49:52Speaker 01

  The Sebo Express, if you're at LaGuardia, a few other airports, not at the Delta Terminal JFK, unfortunately. Yeah.

• 49:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you do love the, is that, what's like the most famous trendy tuna? Is it the tuna cot?

• 50:02Speaker 01

  It's gotta be the tuna cotto.

• 50:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  From Joe's?

• 50:04Speaker 01

  From Joe and Juice. Very solid. And again, just like healthy, it's healthy.

• 50:07Rayna Greenberg?

  People send you like the top 10 lists of tuna sandwiches in every city. Like, what's your favorite tuna sandwich in different cities?

• 50:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:13Rayna Greenberg?

  What do you like in L.A.? What do you like in New York?

• 50:15Speaker 01

  Ooh, the one at Carlisle Cafe is great here.

• 50:18Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. Is that the one that puts like a mountain of lettuce on it?

• 50:20Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 50:22Rayna Greenberg?

  You love iceberg.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course. Crunch. Actually, crunch?

• 50:24Rayna Greenberg?

  What do you like in New York for tuna?

• 50:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  I thought you were gonna say, what do you like about it? I was like, wait, no, we're going too deep. Tell me your favorite lettuce. Can you rank your three favorite lettuces?

• 50:32Speaker 01

  I mean, I love, in New York, I love everything at Edith's Sandwich Counter. They make a tuna melt and their tuna bagels. Fantastic.

• 50:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, Edith's in Brooklyn.

• 50:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  A tuna melt?

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Now, West Village, too, occasionally.

• 50:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 50:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love a tuna melt.

• 50:43Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't really fuck with tuna melts, but if you hand me anything, rye bread toasted with some butter, I'll fuck with it. Dating in New York versus L.A.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  Well, I've never dated out here. I don't know.

• 50:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh.

• 50:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  You just be fucking out here.

• 50:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Jeremy, you stayed with me one week and never came home. You came here to shower. One night you were like, I'm going to the break. Do you want to come? Which is a bar in Abiquino. I was like, no, it's late. I'm gonna, you just never came home.

• 51:10Speaker 01

  I literally walked by, I walked by over here. I was like, damn, I should go back to the break. I was like, maybe we'll get a Saturday night. Okay, shit.

• 51:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so fucking in New York versus LA. More space than LA.

• 51:21Rayna Greenberg?

  How's the pussy? Yeah, I know people have bigger beds than LA.

• 51:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, no twin beds.

• 51:25Speaker 01

  I think more about the different types of girls. So clearly like I'm on the apps when I'm out here. So I don't know if I'm meeting so many, but I think that like LA might have prettier women. But I like the style of New York more and the attitude of New York more. But I like the jobs of women out here more.

• 51:41Rayna Greenberg?

  In LA?

• 51:42Speaker 01

  More creative.

• 51:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Who has jobs in LA?

• 51:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  The women.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  They're creative. Yeah.

• 51:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just the women.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're all in the creative field. They're all in entertainment worlds. I'm like, okay, yeah, I like that way more. So it's a mix. It's a mix. Yeah, exactly.

• 51:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it's the men that I go out with. I actually had good luck. I've found some men with some jobs recently.

• 51:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you, when you're on apps and you're talking to people, do you lead with food? Like, is that, do you lean on it as your expertise?

• 52:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, like on the hinge stuff, like the prompt stuff is food related. Cause it's such an easy way for them to answer. Like I say, like, what would you order at sushi or something?

• 52:15Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, that's cute.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  Things we have to agree with. Pop-up bagel socks, you know, keep it.

• 52:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Jeremy is in a throw down match to the death of pop-up bagels. You don't know about this?

• 52:26Speaker 01

  And we better be on the same page or I don't want to date you.

• 52:28Rayna Greenberg?

  He was mad at me that I went to their pop-up at Arowan.

• 52:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, it's been like a long time.

• 52:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, you know that hat I wear? You know that hat I wear that says famous but known?

• 52:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not famous but known.

• 52:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Not famous but known. Jeremy's mad every time I wear the hat. He's in a.

• 52:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  This has been a long standing rivalry?

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Day one.

• 52:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, you were just mad because like, once they leave, like 20 minutes later, they're hard, right?

• 52:46Speaker 01

  I am mad that they're not a bagel.

• 52:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  I am mad at the whole concept of what they do. And again, I'm actually mad at them. They could sell whatever they want.

• 52:55Rayna Greenberg?

  You're mad at everybody.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  I hate that everyone on TikTok was like, this is the best bagel I've ever had. And I'm like, well, that's not a bagel. So you guys are getting all this fucking clout.

• 53:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Enjoy your dinner roll.

• 53:03Speaker 01

  This one thing. And yeah, exactly. And if they said, we sold hot bread, I'd be like, cool. And again, they could, they could do whatever they want. I don't really care. It was everyone else telling me this is the greatest bagel of all time. And me going there and being like, yeah, if you eat it on the street like an animal, it tastes good. But if you eat it like a bagel, bring it at home, getting it delivered, taking it to your family.

• 53:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Bring it to the office. Yeah. Tompkins Square Bagels.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  Melanie brought it home. What happened?

• 53:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Melanie said it would turn into a rock.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  And her family is not happy.

• 53:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. You can reheat it. Tompkins Square Bagels for life in New York.

• 53:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then what are you?

• 53:35Speaker 01

  There's like an elite list for me. Thompson, Tompkins is up there. Utopia, I love. Baz Bagel. There's like an elite five to 10 places that I'm not gonna go.

• 53:43Rayna Greenberg?

  I went to Utopia recently. It's good.

• 53:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love Tompkins, but I am a black seed ass bitch. And I know that's Montreal style.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  Like a hybrid. So like, I don't include it because not that it isn't good. It's like, when I think of my favorite bagel, it needs to be like a New York style. So I don't recommend that.

• 53:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I lived by Tompkins, both of them. And then here, I mean, they're, they're fine. I like.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  Getting better. We got, so what's funny is now New York is opening LA style bagels. Like Apollo opens in New York, copying what Courage is doing. And what Leila's doing, like, super thin sourdough, really crispy, more about the produce, open face.

• 54:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Open face.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's really trendy in New York right now. But like, it's people in New York that haven't had it at Courage, because I'm like, dude, Courage is so much better.

• 54:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Courage is in Silver Lake and you will wait for an hour and a half or date a guy that is an assistant that will send her there to wait in line for you.

• 54:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I live really close to Gian and Leila. And it's just so funny because Leila will have a line wrapped around the block and Raina was like, go next door.

• 54:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, it's the best.

• 54:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  I want to gatekeep it a little bit, but like, that's the hack. I like it better.

• 54:42Rayna Greenberg?

  I like Gian better. It's a great bakery. They make sandwiches, open faces. They're amazing.

• 54:46Ashley Hesseltine?

  And it's not as long of a line. All right. Well, anyway.

• 54:48Rayna Greenberg?

  So you've been, you date a lot. Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  Going a lot. Yeah, I go on waves. I feel like, you know, if I want to go on dates, granted, I'm going on a million dates, set them all up. And then it's like a month or two off. Like I, I go too hard.

• 54:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  You do have like streaks and you need to take a break.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Streaks and like deleting apps, re-downloading apps. Yeah, you know, but I think that's normal. Like that, it's healthy. You know, it's not gonna feel like it's not healthy. I don't want to do it.

• 55:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or not fun.

• 55:10Speaker 01

  Right, exactly. Just like going through the motions, like you're not gonna have any success with it at all. So like, just don't bother. Cause I do feel like, if I'm, feel like I'm on the apps for the wrong reason, then I'll delete them. Which is more so like, I'm bored. I'm bored, then we look at the app. If I feel like I'm falling into that crutch, get off it, because what's the point? You know, how many girls can you talk to? Like, it's overwhelming and you don't go out with any of them.

• 55:33Rayna Greenberg?

  You said to me recently, you've been finding that like traditional dating apps, the rate of people actually showing up is lower. So I told you, get on Field. Because I do find that people show up more from that app because they think they're good.

• 55:44Speaker 01

  Like, literally show up?

• 55:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, it's hard, I think, to like, when you're chatting with somebody on traditional dating apps and you suggest a date, I think that people tend to cancel a lot, but like, Field, you dangle sex a little bit in front of somebody. I'm showing up.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  I, I more found that like, the more like niche ones are interesting, no matter what they are, like,

• 56:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Farmers only?

• 56:04Speaker 01

  Even something, sure, like even something like Locks Up or something like, not that I would only date a Jewish woman, but it's like helping narrow down. It's like, okay, I'm on this thing just for this, helps a little bit.

• 56:15Rayna Greenberg?

  I love that. I can see that, totally. Like, having some, which even would be Field is more niche than

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Right, exactly.

• 56:21Rayna Greenberg?

  The others.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Or even like, I play around with a lot of them. There's one like Marble, which is really fun.

• 56:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Marble?

• 56:26Speaker 01

  So I think it's only in New York right now, but basically you get, you make a reservation on Resi and you put that reservation into the app and it shows up on a map. And I could be like, or someone else could be like, oh, that person has a reservation at that restaurant at that time, I'll match, try and go. And then once you match, like, you should go.

• 56:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Shut up. But how do you, people are just using you for the res? For the corner store?

• 56:46Speaker 01

  I'll take it. Seems like a good trade for me.

• 56:49Rayna Greenberg?

  I did not know, yes, you're getting smart. You're getting used for the corner store. Anybody, you could be a monster and I will go to the corner store with you. You could be married, trying to cheat on your wife, I'll still show up. How many ugly rich dudes are having hot dates at the corner store just because they got the res? This is crazy. I, that is crazy. I'll do it.

• 57:08Speaker 01

  It's good, like, it's a fun, like, foodie one, too, like, oh, you can kind of see what interests her in food, but what, like, you judge someone by like, where the reservation is. It's like, ooh, I would never go there. I don't want to date that person. Oh, they're at the corner store? Oh, shit, okay.

• 57:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, food and travel could be the only personality of my relationship with somebody. Like, if that's the only thing we connect on is cooking and restaurants and where we want to travel, I don't need anything else. It's so true. It sustains you for literally ever. Like, you're just never out of stuff to talk about. What do we have for dinner, babe? What are we cooking? Like, I've been cooking so much with my fiance, I'm like, this is never going to get old. You gotta eat. Right. You guys get it. I don't want to.

• 57:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't want to go mountain biking. I don't want to ski. I don't want to camp. I don't really want to do anything. I want to exercise together. I just want to eat and talk about food and cook together.

• 57:53Speaker 01

  Like, because maybe that's like a difference of LA versus New York dating, too. If I'm like, in New York, like, out here, people like, want to go on hikes and shit for dates.

• 57:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  That is, yeah, that is true.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  That is. I have been more open to non-drinking dates in New York, I will say, because they've gone surprisingly well.

• 58:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  What would that even be? I can't even picture it. I know.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  So this is so funny. So I went on a first date that was like, fine. It was fine. She's very cute. It's fine, whatever. And then she was like a fashion designer, a person, whatever. And we had talked about like her wanting to dress me, like, go shopping with me. And the date didn't go that well, but I was like, whatever, like, she wants to fucking help me shop? Great, I'll take this. So we went out the next day shopping. And I guess it was, it was a date. I didn't realize it was until I got there. But then we're like, it was great. We went shopping. And walked around the city and got coffee. And I was like, wow. Like, I enjoy you so much more doing this than forcing this thing over cocktails or whatever.

• 58:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I guess, yes, dating in New York and LA are wildly different, if people want to do outdoorsy stuff here. But walking around the city of New York, popping into stores, or actually going into shop, like, that would be like an ideal New York date, is to walk around the city.

• 58:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, and I think it de-escalates the pressure of the date.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like cute. I was like, trying on stuff. And she was like, oh, my God, you look so good. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know.

• 59:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Is that a Members Only jacket?

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, Members Only.

• 59:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love that jacket. She picked that up for you?

• 59:09Speaker 01

  No, they sent this to me.

• 59:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, nice. I like the color. Yeah.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  I picked the color, though.

• 59:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 59:14Rayna Greenberg?

  I like Members Only jackets.

• 59:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Could you even date somebody that wasn't passionate about food?

• 59:19Speaker 01

  I don't think that'd be passionate, but like, I couldn't date someone that like, I mean, a lot of food allergies is tough.

• 59:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  It is tough.

• 59:24Speaker 01

  I want to go somewhere and travel and eat and share everything.

• 59:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  That's hard. Or almost even worse is just like, having no interest in trying things. Like, going somewhere, especially when I travel in foreign places, like, I want to try everything. And again, like, sharing is such like a special part of it. And if you just have, you don't have to like it, but like, if you're like, no. It's like, ah, but this was like a shared experience, so now we're not doing that.

• 59:47Rayna Greenberg?

  People that eat to live, we have nothing in common.

• 59:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, they'll find each other. Yeah.

• 59:52Rayna Greenberg?

  And there is a lot more about out here. Listen, I understand you moved to LA because you can be on a lake, in an ocean, on a mountain. Like, that's why people move here. They like that. I don't like that stuff. So it is harder for me to find people that hate camping and biking and being outdoors and exercising. Like, I just want people to, I want people to hate everything.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  None of that shit.

• 1:00:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, none of that is good for me.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  I won't do any of that.

• 1:00:14Rayna Greenberg?

  That's what you guys used to do.

• 1:00:17Rayna Greenberg?

  We slept together, actually. We didn't date. Oh, I know.

• 1:00:24Rayna Greenberg?

  So Jeremy, you really are like king of a first date. Tuna, tuna and first dates.

• 1:00:28Speaker 01

  I don't know if that's a compliment or not, but yeah, sure.

• 1:00:30Rayna Greenberg?

  You go on a lot.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  I'm 37. I've been on a lot of first dates.

• 1:00:33Rayna Greenberg?

  So hot topic, paying for dates. First dates. First dates. Who do you think should pay? Do you pay? Do you always pay?

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  I always pay, even no matter what situation it's like. I feel like I've definitely even been on dates where it's like, oh, like it did not go, this did not go well at all. This is never happening again, but it's still like, I'll pay for it. What do I care? You know what I mean?

• 1:00:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. I mean, we agree. I just think, you know, you probably asked her out, like, just you should pay. You got a couple of drinks?

• 1:00:59Speaker 01

  I'll appreciate the like, the pretends. The pretends, I'll, it doesn't matter to me either way. They don't have to, but they can pretend. They could reach, they could do a little reach, open, start going in the purse, you know?

• 1:01:08Rayna Greenberg?

  No, you, I, I had this funny thing happen the other day. He was like, I am gonna pay, but you gotta do the superficial reach.

• 1:01:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Have you ever had someone insist?

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  Yes, and not in a way of like, I think sometimes women wanna pay to prove it's not, this did not go well.

• 1:01:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  I don't think I've had that. I've definitely had them just being like, they're like, I'm paying no matter what. This is my like, thing on a first date. I'm gonna do that kind of thing. And I'm still like, no. Like, tough shit, you know? Like, I'll tell the waiter, like, that's not happening. Just run my card.

• 1:01:41Rayna Greenberg?

  That is so much, that is tough shit.

• 1:01:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  We've said that on the podcast that if I insist on paying, I'm friend zoning you on a first, on a first date.

• 1:01:51Rayna Greenberg?

  That means I don't, if I'm like really paying, I don't like you.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  I think there are, no, I think, but I think there are like women are like, I'm a strong, independent woman. My prerogative is I will pay for this first date just to show who I am. And like, that's cool. That's great. But like, still no.

• 1:02:06Rayna Greenberg?

  I will pay for the third date.

• 1:02:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  I pay, I'm paying, we're paying. I pay for, I pay for stuff, but not the first date.

• 1:02:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I'm paying for the third date.

• 1:02:14Ashley Hesseltine?

  I will die on that hill. And I don't fake reach. I have not fake reached in a while. I mean, it's been a minute, it's a first date, but like, I don't, like, again, how much was it? It's 60 bucks?

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  The only time it's happened is like, on first dates, we've gone from bar to bar to bar.

• 1:02:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 1:02:30Speaker 01

  And now we've had like a lot of drinks and they're like, let me get this round. Okay, sure. Like whatever, that's, that's nice. And like, whatever, I've already bought a thousand drinks.

• 1:02:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  Let me be so clear that I've had that date in New York, you've bounced around a bunch. Like I got the round here. Like I have put my card down. When you have that type of date, but one location, a couple of drinks each. No, I'm not faking it.

• 1:02:49Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm not even, I barely, I'm like, do I have to do this?

• 1:02:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  I feel like I, I go, you got this.

• 1:02:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  You got this, right? That we're in a standoff.

• 1:03:00Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm like, you know, I make more money than you, right? If you want to fuck me, you're gonna pay for this.

• 1:03:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. I just pictured Jeremy, like him and this like woman having this like back and forth. She's, she shoves a 20 in your mouth. She's like, fucking take it.

• 1:03:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. We asked our audience some poll questions. We had them weigh in. So we'll see how you feel about these.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. This is not really New York based, but every other state.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  I think that might skew it a little bit. Yeah.

• 1:03:26Rayna Greenberg?

  So we had almost 5,000 people respond to each one of these. So do you want someone to pick you up for a first date? So women said overwhelmingly, no. 86% said, no, I don't want somebody to pick me up. And 14% said yes. I mean, to me, it just feels like a safety issue. I don't need somebody to know where I live. I also really don't want to bring somebody back to my place for a while.

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  Would you like, if it was New York City and I was like, I'll get you an Uber, would you like that? I still have to know where you live, I guess, but I'm not physically doing it.

• 1:03:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  We talked about this. Way back on the Mean Girl Pod and I don't know, I think I've walked back to my stance.

• 1:04:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:04:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  On sending an Uber for a first date. Cause then you've still got my address.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  I like the gesture, but I think that first date, it also is like, is this person a stranger from an app? Let's just assume that, you know, this isn't someone you met before and you know and sort of trust or have mutual friends with, whatever. A stranger from an app, I just don't think I need them knowing my address, first date.

• 1:04:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Until I'm ready for somebody to come to my apartment, I don't need them to have my address. And so I appreciate the gesture of sending me home in an Uber and that's very nice. And some guys are just like, why won't you just let me do a nice thing for you? And I just, I just don't need it. And in New York, I felt a little safer because I lived in a building with 200 apartments and a doorman. The probability that somebody would find me in that building is pretty low, but I just don't need you to know where I live.

• 1:04:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  But let's talk about outside of New York. Like someone's like, I want to pick you up in my car.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  Well, it's also like, are we getting a drink also? Like you're definitely going to be drinking and driving tonight then like.

• 1:05:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Right. The last couple of updates I've had, they've always all offered to pick me up.

• 1:05:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't know that it's a red flag. I think it's chivalrous. Some people, that's why they're asking. They feel like they're being chivalrous. They're like, you pick a girl up?

• 1:05:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Absolutely. I don't, I don't think it's ill intentioned. I think it's really like positive. And every guy, yeah, has offered to pick me up or do you want to just meet me there? And I'm just like, I appreciate the offer and I'll beat you there.

• 1:05:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I'm trying to think of, can I pick you up and we walk? He comes, picks me up, you like walk.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  I guess you could like, like going the same distance, I'll walk and yeah, I mean, that's kind of nice too, I guess.

• 1:05:33Rayna Greenberg?

  And I like a walk home.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Like a walk home.

• 1:05:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  A walk home is great. A walk home on a New York City date alone.

• 1:05:39Rayna Greenberg?

  If you've had a good time.

• 1:05:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:40Rayna Greenberg?

  And they can know where you live then.

• 1:05:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Now that you've built some trust. But yeah, until I'm ready for you to know my address, even like, I just, I don't really want people to know where I live.

• 1:05:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:49Rayna Greenberg?

  But like your building also, like you, there's how many apartments are in your, about 800?

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  So many. And also like, if you follow me, you basically know where I live. It's like impossible. It's not like I'm sharing my address every day, but like.

• 1:05:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:05:59Speaker 01

  I take a photo outside my window. It's so obvious where I live.

• 1:06:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. But I guess if we are talking about red flags, like I think if a guy offers, I'm not writing him off. But if he is insistent and being weird, no, I gotta pick you up. I wouldn't go.

• 1:06:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, I think green flag if they offer.

• 1:06:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:15Rayna Greenberg?

  But then you just say no, and they should politely just say, okay.

• 1:06:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:19Rayna Greenberg?

  You're like, what? We're trying to get fucked up.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Right. I mean, that's way out my brain. We're just like, why?

• 1:06:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's funny when people drive and I'm like, are we not drinking?

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:06:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Trying to drink on the way here?

• 1:06:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so this next one is probably my fave, but I can't wait to hear Jeremy's take on this. Ideal first date, and we asked dinner, drinks, or coffee? Or if you want to fucking hike or something, but we just did dinner, dinner, drinks and coffee. And again, we just had like over 5,000 people answer this. So 70% is drinks. So I think no food. People interpreted that no food. 22% is coffee. 8% dinner. No one wants to eat a meal.

• 1:07:00Speaker 01

  I think that makes sense. I mean, for me, it's like a few things. One, you don't want to be trapped in this like never ending thing. And dinner can be never ending. So I definitely don't want that. It's a big commitment. And also, it's like a nice second date is dinner. Yeah, I guess coffee would make sense for seconds. I'll do dinner on a first date if it's someone I like, kind of know.

• 1:07:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  Kind of know.

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  If I kind of know, then I'll take them for dinner.

• 1:07:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  If it's a stranger from an app or any other way, it's like, I'll just.

• 1:07:26Rayna Greenberg?

  Can you imagine? Can you imagine meeting a stranger for an app at dinner? One time I did a setup for dinner and I was like, I cannot believe I am stuck in this. A setup or you mean? Right when we started the podcast, somebody set me up with somebody. Oh, my God, right. Yeah. He was perfectly nice. It was just really not a personality match. And I was like, I am stuck here.

• 1:07:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, I did that. That guy took me on a taco tour, but I knew that like we were going to quick, easy places that I didn't have to sit for a meal.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, like that's what I'm saying. Like one of my favorite places is MPO and Apastor because they have the tacos in the back. So it's like, let's get drinks. And then if you're hungry, it's got a fucking taco. It's right there, but it's not like a sit down. It's not a pressure thing. Like they could get a taco and whatever. You know what I mean?

• 1:08:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think the moment of a first date, when you have. Sign up for drinks and you both decide you want to stay a little longer and eat is a tell that you're liking each other.

• 1:08:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 1:08:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think we've all been there. You met up for drinks. Should we get some food? Should we get some food? It's just very like, we're feeling each other out. Then you get some food. Or you walk and go get a slice or whatever you do.

• 1:08:25Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I went on a date recently. It was a dinner date. It was three hours. Like, I can't imagine if I did not know this person ahead of time. It would have been like torture.

• 1:08:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  I remember I went out with that guy and I didn't know him, but we did the tasting menu at Gramercy Tavern.

• 1:08:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, that's the tasting menu. Do I remember? That was insane.

• 1:08:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, we had a great time. I went home with him. Like, we hooked up, but luckily I knew him.

• 1:08:47Rayna Greenberg?

  You're talking, this is a long format, like three star fine dining restaurant. When you said the tasting menu and not the bar room, I was like.

• 1:08:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, when I walked in, I'm like.

• 1:08:56Speaker 01

  This is a first date?

• 1:08:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, but we had met.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:08:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mutual friends. Yes. Like, we've been chatting and flirting. So, but yeah.

• 1:09:03Rayna Greenberg?

  And he was somebody in the food world. So, that is something he did want to do.

• 1:09:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's food and wine. But Rena was like, I'm sure you're sitting in the bar.

• 1:09:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  I walk in, I'm scanning the bar, and then he's in the back, white tablecloth, ready to go. I was like, what are we doing? But it was amazing.

• 1:09:20Rayna Greenberg?

  No, it's amazing. It's a trigger point for me because my first boyfriend I lived with in New York City, the first, second time I caught him cheating on me, was because he had a receipt in his wallet from a tasting menu at Gramercy Tavern. And he told me he was at work and I was like, who were you with? And he told me it's none of your business. And I went holistic.

• 1:09:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  And it's like, it's all right, but it's okay.

• 1:09:42Rayna Greenberg?

  You know, it came from that story is he was chasing me around the apartment. I was breaking all of his stuff and I told him he had to fucking leave the apartment. And he's like, I live here. And I was like, not anymore, bitch.

• 1:09:53Rayna Greenberg?

  That was like one of the original tags of the podcast. Came from Gramercy Tavern. Okay, well, listen, I think coffee, I wouldn't suggest coffee, but if somebody else did, I'm down for it.

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  I did have to do like a lot of COVID coffee dates. And I was like, this is nice. Like, I totally get it. And like, I do think that like, I'm up in the morning anyway. I thought about this of like, I'm up at five in the morning. If I could go do like an 8 a.m. coffee date one day, I'm kind of into it.

• 1:10:17Rayna Greenberg?

  8 a.m.

• 1:10:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  I like it. It's like, we're in this together.

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're in the trenches.

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  We met someone out at 8 a.m. Like, this is bonding.

• 1:10:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, then you also know that you're like similar, right?

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  That's what I mean too, yes.

• 1:10:29Rayna Greenberg?

  You found another person that's willing to do that.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  If that person's like, I want to wake up till 11 a.m. I'm like, it's probably going to work anyway.

• 1:10:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it's good vetting. How do you feel about activities as a first date?

• 1:10:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like bowling or mini golf or?

• 1:10:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Or even like, let's walk around a food festival, anything that's not set in a bar.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  I just kind of feel like on a first date, I just want to know if like, we vibe.

• 1:10:45Rayna Greenberg?

  We vibe.

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  And I think that if there's too many things going on, it could kind of like, not that alcohol can't trick you either, but it could kind of like, get away from what is the vibe between you guys. It's like, I had such a great time. Well, is it because like, you were doing this really fun thing or is it because of that person?

• 1:11:01Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  I'd rather just be like stripped down, we're at a bar, like nothing too crazy, like, let's just get a drink and see what it is.

• 1:11:07Rayna Greenberg?

  See if we have chemistry. I love the activities of second date.

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Yes, 100%.

• 1:11:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally. First date, let's not make it more than it is. Let's give one hour to this and have a drink.

• 1:11:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, like, I gotta rent bowling shoes. I gotta do mini golf. We're not, we don't, we need accessories, you know?

• 1:11:23Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't want to be thinking about like impressing you with my dazzling personality and activities. I also, I can't bowl.

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  I mean, I do think too that like, if you were going to go too big on a first date, it's like, overcompensating huge for something. Like, you know, I mean, we have friends who talk to other people like, oh, on a first date, we went in the helicopter and went to dinner in Toronto or whatever.

• 1:11:46Rayna Greenberg?

  What is this, The Bachelor?

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  Fuck, like.

• 1:11:47Rayna Greenberg?

  I want to date that guy.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  It's like, well, there's probably something really wrong.

• 1:11:52Rayna Greenberg?

  That's too much.

• 1:11:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or it's like very love bombing. It's too much trying to impress. Or you could be offered to go pick up trash, like Tess, this guy asked if she wanted to go pick up trash on the beach first date. Psychotic. It was literally, she's, she's been doing it. The beach is clean.

• 1:12:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  We talked about it at length. We support the beach cleanup, but.

• 1:12:11Rayna Greenberg?

  It's well intentioned and I think that like, you know, we tell men today, like, respect women, have ideas outside the box, don't just like take them to a dark bar. And I think that this guy was trying to come up with a good idea.

• 1:12:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Respect women, make them pick up trash?

• 1:12:24Rayna Greenberg?

  They're like, he likes to clean, right?

• 1:12:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hey, I have an idea. Can you come run vacuum?

• 1:12:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, just make me a snack and suck my dick on the way out the door. Okay, this one, I gotta know Jeremy's take. So. And if he does this.

• 1:12:40Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:12:41Rayna Greenberg?

  So, is it a turn off if someone suggests a date location right next to their apartment? And I know that you, I know you've done this a lot.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  So here's what I'll say, and I did get in trouble, but okay, sorry, give me the answers, yes.

• 1:12:52Rayna Greenberg?

  So is it a turn off, the responses are yes, yes, no, and not necessarily. So overwhelmingly, people said not necessarily a turn off. So 72% of people, yes, hard yes, turn off 25% of people, which is pretty high. And 3% of people said no. I think most people are like, I don't know, do we both live in the same area? Is it, is it cool? You live in Williamsburg. It's not such a far fetched thing that you would suggest a bar in Williamsburg.

• 1:13:15Speaker 01

  Right, I mean, my thing is always like, okay, where do you live? Okay, they say Upper East Side. I'm not gonna make them come to Williamsburg. I'll pick somewhere in the middle, wherever, East Village, whatever. Most of my dates are probably with people in Williamsburg, just because I don't want to leave Williamsburg. You know, we have the best of everything. So like, yeah, inevitably, every bar in Williamsburg is within a few blocks of me. But it did get in trouble. There's this girl I went out with, and she lived in an area, not too far in Brooklyn, but like, not a subway connection. And there was not really anything between us. So the choice was go to a bar near her apartment, or go to your bar near my apartment. And I don't know any bars near her, so like, I picked the bar near my apartment.

• 1:13:55Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  That I like, that I go on a lot of first dates at. Because like, I like having control of the first date too, just because like, I like to eliminate what would like, make me nervous, I guess. So it's like, I don't like mystery. Let me go to a bar I've been to before, so there's no mystery. I get there 15 minutes early, because I want to make sure like, I have a seat. The worst thing that happens, like, we get there, we've never met, and now we, but now we can't sit down. So we're like awkwardly standing there, we can't order, trying to talk to each other, fuck that shit.

• 1:14:20Rayna Greenberg?

  No, my God.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  So I get there, I always get there early, because I, so many times happened, like, I'll get there early, no seats. I'll text him, like, hey, I got here early, there's no seats. I'm gonna go take a walk, I'll let you know when I find a bar. It'll be within two blocks or whatever, fuck. But yeah, so I did this with this girl. And she was basically like, you pick the bar next to your apartment, blah, blah, blah. And I gave her the same explanation, like, well, I didn't know any bars near you. And like this, there's nothing between us. She's like, all these other men would have done all this research and found a bar near me. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what do you want from me?

• 1:14:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, why didn't she suggest a bar?

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:14:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  If that's important to her.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:14:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm not victim blaming, but I mean, if she's like, my boundary is I want, I want something near me. And you don't know the area near her, then why doesn't she?

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  And I guess I could have done research, but like, I don't know. I also know that 10 billion bars near me that are great. And also like, to me, what's the difference? If I'm finding a bar next to her apartment or next to my apartment, isn't the implication the same? No matter which one we're near?

• 1:15:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:15:14Speaker 01

  Of like, oh, we're closer to apartments and we can bang. It's like, if even for a block away near your apartment, what's, what's the difference?

• 1:15:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I want to hone in on the way that you operate with dates. I think it's really important for, I mean, men listening, I mean, I think we all want to feel like the guy, if he's asked us out on a date, had, if you're in a heterosexual relationship dating, that they are in control. And so that is going somewhere that they feel comfortable and can suss it out. And like you said, are not like fighting for bar seats. That's the worst thing I could possibly imagine is he doesn't have it under control when I get there. So you're getting there early, you're spinning the block. If you've got to find somewhere else. I also, I'm, I don't like women to have to travel too far. On a first date, I told you, it's not hot girl shit. So I do like that it would be somewhere in between, or if they know a place closer to where I am,

• 1:16:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  which is probably mostly the case, except for she lived in this weird area.

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:16:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know?

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  Exactly. I would have tried somewhere in the middle, or it's like, well, there's something in the middle. Great, I'm in Williamsburg, it's 10,000 bars.

• 1:16:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  And I know the malls, we're going to go to one of those fucking places.

• 1:16:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Exactly. I like that you also said, like, I know that I'll be the most physically comfortable in a place that like, I, I know the terrain, basically. Like, I know where the seats are. I love when a guy like knows one of the bartenders, the manager, and it's just like an easy way to get a seat. Like, if somebody's just like, my friend works there, great, that's where we're going. Like, I just, sometimes people ask me to like suggest a bar, and there's plenty of bars right by me. I live by Abbot Kinney, which is the most bars and restaurants there could be. But I never know where the vibe's going to be at them sometimes.

• 1:16:42Speaker 01

  Well, the funniest is, I was surprised one time, the opposite thing happens. I suggested a bar, again, she lives Lower East Side, I guess, and I'm Williamsburg. So I'm like, okay, we'll pick a bar Lower East Side, there's a billion bars there. Fuck, I forget the name of this bar. I'm never gonna remember. It doesn't matter. It's like kind of behind a hotel, like very secluded. It used to be like a crazy coke den bar. Now it's something else, but still like kind of dark and diggy, whatever. So we go there and we sit down. I was like, oh, have you been before? She's like, oh, yeah, I didn't want to tell you, but actually my best friend is like the, like a waitress here. I'm here all the fucking time. And I was like, okay, that's cool. And then she was like, we were gonna play a prank on you, that she was gonna show up and I started making out. And I was like, how is that a prank on me?

• 1:17:22Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm gonna masturbate while you do that. Prank you.

• 1:17:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love pranks. Can we do the prank? Can you guys get the prank going? Can you guys do the prank in my apartment?

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  A little more self-conscious though, because then her friend did show up and now this, her friend's like working the room and I got up like on a date. I'm like, ah, it makes me feel weird, you know?

• 1:17:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  So did they make out?

• 1:17:37Rayna Greenberg?

  What are you guys gonna make out?

• 1:17:38Speaker 01

  No, because she blew the prank by telling me I had a time or something. I don't fucking know.

• 1:17:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, hey, so how about that prank? Is that gonna happen?

• 1:17:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I just gotta say, I love pranks. And if you could prank me, it'd be so hot. Pranks are my kink. Do you guys wanna come over and prank me? I honestly love pranks at my apartment. My apartment is set up for pranks. Wanna come over? Great place to do pranks. Sometimes I take my pants off during pranks. Do you guys mind if I jerk off during the prank? It's just like, I really, like, you guys put a lot of work into it.

• 1:18:09Speaker 01

  Just wanna be part of the joke.

• 1:18:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  I wanna support it. Show how much I appreciate the prank.

• 1:18:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my god.

• 1:18:17Speaker 01

  But I did feel like self-conscious, like, oh, someone like knows, the second I know someone knows I'm on a date, I'm like, oh, they're looking at me. But it worked out. Her friend is very sweet and like, whatever, like helps us, like walks us into the menu and is totally fine.

• 1:18:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Her friend is better in bed than she is, yeah. I mean, I guess ultimately, when I stayed in New York, I don't want it too close to my place either. You know, I, I wanna travel less, but I don't want it right next door to where I live either. You know, that even can feel a little presumptuous.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  Well, that's why I was like, why pick somewhere next to you? What's the difference then?

• 1:18:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. Well, also then I'm like, where's the line? Cause like, I was out to dinner with a friend of mine and he was like, I bring all my dates here. Like even the bartender, I could tell was like, is this another one? And I, he was like, no, we're not on a date. And like, I, I didn't like that either, like.

• 1:19:01Speaker 01

  You gotta have a few different places.

• 1:19:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes, yes, yes. My friend was like, I bring all my dates here. And I'm like, that's too much.

• 1:19:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm-hmm. Okay.

• 1:19:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, so, end of the date, end of the date behavior. I'm curious what you do. Is it a deal breaker for someone to not make sure you got home okay at the end of the night? So the answers were yes, no, and I don't love it, but it's fine.

• 1:19:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  I laughed at Raina's conversational tone. She put this one up. Yes, no, I don't love it, but it's fine.

• 1:19:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, how am I feeling? And I'm like, that's how I'm feeling.

• 1:19:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't love it, but it's fine.

• 1:19:32Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't love it, it's fine.

• 1:19:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's just so Raina. Like, I wonder if people read it, they were like, Raina wrote that.

• 1:19:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, I'll tell you why I wrote that. But I mean, because I don't love it, but it's fine.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  But I can see that. I can see there to be like, yeah, it'd be nice, but I don't give a shit about this dude. Who fucking cares?

• 1:19:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  You know, like that kind of.

• 1:19:50Rayna Greenberg?

  I had an experience the other night where like, we texted a little bit while I was in the car on the way home. I think he knew mostly I didn't get murdered. And I, he didn't say like, did you walk into the door yet?

• 1:19:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:19:59Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, I think a lot of guys are like, let me know if you got home okay. And I'm, it's not performative. I'm just like, yeah, I'm fine. Mostly I'm fine. So 56% of people, I don't love it, but it's fine.

• 1:20:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, see?

• 1:20:10Rayna Greenberg?

  35%, yeah, it's a deal breaker. If you don't make sure that I get home. And 10%, no, it's not a deal breaker. But I do find it strange if there's no communication after you walk out the door. Like, the other night I laughed and we're just kind of like joking about stuff that happened at the restaurant or whatever. And I think he could have assumed I got home okay. And texted me first thing in the morning.

• 1:20:30Speaker 01

  Right. I was gonna say, it's first thing in the morning counts also.

• 1:20:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I think if you're a guy who doesn't really ever want to see that person again.

• 1:20:43Speaker 01

  Also, like, it's definitely sending a signal of like, okay, I'm into you, checking your safety. What if you don't want to send that signal?

• 1:20:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think if you like her at all, you should do this.

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:20:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I also think it's situational. Like, some situations of leaving the date feel like more quote unquote, dangerous than others. I don't know. I guess it's always, it's always appreciated.

• 1:21:04Speaker 01

  If someone said to me, I mean, generally I would say that like, I do. Like, I, I don't want to say it to 100% just because I don't remember, but like generally like, no matter what. Because also I walk from dates, even if I don't think it's any kind of connection. I view every connection as positive and who knows. So like, whatever. Sure. You get home. Okay, cool. But I do think it's a difference of like, okay, I put them in an Uber and they went home compared to, bye, I'm gonna go take the one train and get home at some point.

• 1:21:26Rayna Greenberg?

  In New York City, yes.

• 1:21:28Speaker 01

  Text that person just like actually be worried more than anything.

• 1:21:31Rayna Greenberg?

  And New York City was much more of a deal breaker for me. Now, you're gonna watch me walk out of a place, get in my car, drive home, go into my garage. I don't need you to check on me really. But New York, yeah, if I was like, I'm gonna walk home or something.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  Right, yeah, exactly, yeah.

• 1:21:43Rayna Greenberg?

  I appreciated it.

• 1:21:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, that guy, the worst that ever happened to me was that guy. We went on a date. It was like, and COVID-y times, we, you know, we're in the COVID tent on the, on the street. And I did go home with him. We did hook up. And what, I walked out of his place at midnight, one in the morning, didn't even offer, kinda getting an Uber, didn't check in on me, just a terrible person. And I did get revenge on him later.

• 1:22:05Rayna Greenberg?

  But that, that's the worst.

• 1:22:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just gross.

• 1:22:08Rayna Greenberg?

  When you go to a guy's place, I went to somebody's place the other day, and I was like, I'm just gonna get an Uber home. I like took an Uber there because I knew we'd be drinking. And he insisted on driving me home. And I, no, I appreciate it. It was, we'd been on a few dates and I appreciate it.

• 1:22:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:21Rayna Greenberg?

  I appreciate somebody being like this. Also, he lives 10 minutes from me.

• 1:22:24Speaker 01

  I guess so. It just, you know, like if someone makes a decision, I think it's different. Like, I'll get the Uber. It feels different to like, I gotta drive you home.

• 1:22:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  The thing that happened to me was like, not even an offer and then not a check in. Because I think you also need to let adults do what they're gonna do. If you're a guy who's like, I really don't want her to walk out right now and walk home in the middle of the night, like, but what are you gonna do, force something else on her? Like, you kind of have to trust a person if they're like, I do this all the time and I'm okay. But then you do check in that they did survive it.

• 1:22:51Rayna Greenberg?

  A hundred percent. Yeah, it was sort of annoying. I was like, I called an Uber. And he's like, I'll just drive you. And I was like, but I called an Uber. And he was like, but I'll just drive you. I was like, ah, fuck, just fucking drive me then. I don't care. I have this theory that like, women don't really act crazy in the first, like, men, men act crazy in the initial stages of dating. Women are smart enough to keep it in the box. Men are not. No, you're shaking your head. So.

• 1:23:11Speaker 01

  No, I agree with you.

• 1:23:12Rayna Greenberg?

  Have you, like, women, every woman has a billion first date stories that are fucking crazy. Men don't.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  I have none. I mean, I do, but like, nothing compared to women.

• 1:23:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, that.

• 1:23:23Speaker 01

  Mine are just like.

• 1:23:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's the craziest thing.

• 1:23:26Speaker 01

  Because women can control their crazy.

• 1:23:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:28Speaker 01

  Men cannot. Absolutely not.

• 1:23:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. It oozes out of them.

• 1:23:33Rayna Greenberg?

  No, but like a new person, now's my chance. Just when you see such crazy behavior, we ask people and we'll read some for like crazy first date stories. I mean, they flooded in more than any other request we ever give. I mean, and the stories are insane. They're not just sort of like, he made me split the bill with him. Like, it's some of the most psychotic stuff I've ever heard in my life, and everybody has 10 of these.

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like, people ask me on time of mine, I'm like, and I tell it, but like, it's not that insane.

• 1:24:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. All right. Well, with that in mind, we did ask people for some really crazy first date stories. We, it's a treasure trove. We're not doing more of these. Men act insane. If we said, if you're a man, send us crazy first date stories, the inbox would be dry.

• 1:24:19Speaker 01

  Like, oh, that girl didn't fucking sleep with me. It's so stupid. It's like, okay, her guy.

• 1:24:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  She got so wasted. I don't know. Guys, there are some guys out there that have had a weird night with me.

• 1:24:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  You guys know, Jeremy, you were there. Remember when I met that guy and I liked him so much? Oh, no, you and Jeremy came over the next day and I was in like a dark hole about it. Jeremy wasn't out with us the night before. Remember I met that guy, I'd been drinking for hours. This was like early days of New York. I just became friends with him. It was at my first apartment, probably like 2018. And I was already too drunk when I met him, but I like.

• 1:24:53Rayna Greenberg?

  We'd been drinking all day.

• 1:24:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Gravitated towards him immediately. He worked at some, at CNN or something. He had like a shirt that had Biggie on it, like whatever. I remember we just vibed immediately, but even the early conversation is fuzzy. Like, we were blacking out. We were making out at the bar. I was like, this is my man. And I just, I mean, I blacked out and I went home with him and I kind of blacked back in at three or four in the morning in this like West Village apartment and was like, where am I? I was like, just, I got really confused. I don't drink like this anymore. And I was like, what happened? And I'm not saying he like did anything, but we maybe had been making out. I was just like so wasted still and like not sure where I was. I was probably like asking insane questions. Like, who are you? Where am I? Then I just like.

• 1:25:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Got an Uber and then I got like mad at him about something. I don't even remember like, and I got home, the sun was rising and I was just mortified. You guys can remember the next day.

• 1:25:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Everybody gets drunk.

• 1:25:49Rayna Greenberg?

  And I was like.

• 1:25:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  I did find him and DM him.

• 1:25:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I remember.

• 1:25:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then he never responded.

• 1:25:57Rayna Greenberg?

  It was a dark day. But I think most guys, they're crazy quote unquote for a state stories is she was just.

• 1:26:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  She just got drunk, yeah.

• 1:26:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Some men would argue, but I don't think the majority would argue that women act that crazy. We keep it in the box.

• 1:26:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, women are like.

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  For a while.

• 1:26:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  He said the N word. To the server.

• 1:26:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's crazy.

• 1:26:15Rayna Greenberg?

  He did a Nazi salute?

• 1:26:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't know.

• 1:26:18Rayna Greenberg?

  We could do only a podcast about first dates and we would have an endless amount of content. Okay, I'm excited about this. I'm gonna redo this. Okay, she says, I was asked out on a date by the hot man cutting down my neighbor's tree.

• 1:26:29Speaker 01

  That's your type of man.

• 1:26:30Rayna Greenberg?

  It is. And she, I actually cut this out a little bit, but she tells this whole story. She walked across the street. She was like, I might need my trees cut down.

• 1:26:38Rayna Greenberg?

  She had like a whole conversation with him. We cut these down. These are long to begin with.

• 1:26:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Can you imagine like getting a tree cut down just to flirt with somebody? Like you don't even need it.

• 1:26:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you remember all the time I bought that art? I was buying all that expensive art because I like to bouncer the gallery.

• 1:26:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  R I P Rusty.

• 1:26:56Rayna Greenberg?

  I hope Rusty's doing well. Okay, so she was asked out by this guy that cuts down trees. We made plans later that week to go for a walk around the falls, then stop at a Mexican restaurant for dinner. When the day came, he picked me up right on time and I got into his truck. I'm turned on. As he starts driving, I noticed he's not going in the direction of where we had planned to go. I ask him where we're going and he replied, I don't know. I've just figured we would drive around. I need to run some errands.

• 1:27:22Rayna Greenberg?

  He said, I need a new comforter and sheets.

• 1:27:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Ew, why?

• 1:27:26Speaker 01

  I mean, that could be, maybe.

• 1:27:29Speaker 01

  It depends on how he said it.

• 1:27:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, exactly. You're in this person's truck and they're like, we're gonna run errands right now. She goes, I went with it. We stopped at Target and he asked me to pick out what he needed for his bed, which then I'm like, I get to pick the decor. After that, he began to drive around. I just figured at this point we were working on our walk or to get dinner. He keeps driving around aimlessly and keeps pointing out dead trees he keeps seeing. He proceeds to talk about trees for 45 minutes. He talks about the history of arborists.

• 1:27:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, now I'm into it.

• 1:27:57Rayna Greenberg?

  I know. So I pulled it for you. The types of trees and how you know that they're dead. I could not get a single word out, nor did he ask me any questions about myself. Eventually, he pulls into a restaurant and says, we're eating here.

• 1:28:09Speaker 01

  All this still sounds like your dream date, right?

• 1:28:15Speaker 01

  We're eating here.

• 1:28:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I dated him, actually. This is my ex. After dinner, he asked me if I want to go to his house to help him put the sheets on the bed.

• 1:28:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wait, I just had a memory unlocked when I had to put the sheets on it.

• 1:28:28Rayna Greenberg?

  That Airbnb?

• 1:28:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  That Airbnb guy, I had to help put sheets on the bed because there was a family standing outside. Like furiously putting pillowcases on.

• 1:28:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Actually met the family.

• 1:28:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  He Airbnb'd one bedroom of his two bedroom. The family came in, they didn't really speak English. I was like, hey, I'm Ashley.

• 1:28:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Hi, cutie.

• 1:28:49Rayna Greenberg?

  He's never done this.

• 1:28:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  We're hopped up on the chair.

• 1:28:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Alright, so they're going back to his house. She goes, even though I hated his personality, I figured he was still hot and I could use some D. We get to his place and he essentially starts ripping off my clothing the second we walk in the door. Little did I know, I was about to have the most awkward sex of my life. Not only did he take a break every 10 to 20 seconds, he literally walked out of the bathroom to give himself a pep talk in the living room of how to make himself last longer, saying stuff like, come on, man, you could do this.

• 1:29:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  He's like, picture your favorite tree.

• 1:29:24Rayna Greenberg?

  No, that'll make him come.

• 1:29:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  You're a strong oak tree. You're a strong oak tree.

• 1:29:29Rayna Greenberg?

  That's how he comes, Ashley.

• 1:29:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Dirty talk about trees. Then he would walk back into the bedroom and continue where he left off. Eventually, I was ready for the experience to be over. My eyes were closed the majority of time, and when I finally opened them, I realized I was a couple of feet away from a large deer head on the wall staring at me. I couldn't focus on anything else other than the deer staring at my soul. I have never wanted sex to end so badly. Finally, it was over and I said it was time to take me home. And he told me he would drive me home under one condition. I had to make his bed with the new sheets and comforter.

• 1:30:00Speaker 01

  So they didn't use the new sheets to begin with?

• 1:30:02Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I don't think you walk in the door and you make the bed.

• 1:30:05Speaker 01

  But I can't tell if that was part of the game or not. Like, we're getting new sheets just so he has the excuse to be like, let's use the new sheet. This whole thing's very confusing.

• 1:30:12Rayna Greenberg?

  To me, I'm not putting new sheets on the bed to have sex with a new person.

• 1:30:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  The way she ended it makes me wonder if she made this up, in which case it's an amazing bitch. She has a callback at the end. She's like, how can I call back to the comforter? I mean creativity 10 out of 10 if she made this up.

• 1:30:26Speaker 01

  So many, so many questions.

• 1:30:28Rayna Greenberg?

  She didn't make this up. This was about a year ago and she sent me the clip.

• 1:30:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is from Tessa.

• 1:30:33Rayna Greenberg?

  It's from like Matt Rife was doing a comedy show somewhere. I don't remember where. And she was in the front row and he reads this story and then talks to her about this whole, the whole situation.

• 1:30:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  This story?

• 1:30:44Rayna Greenberg?

  This story.

• 1:30:45Speaker 01

  Wait, do you know where they live? Where was this?

• 1:30:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, honestly it looked like Raleigh or Charlotte. I'll find out where, but it was about a year ago. And she sent the clip and yeah, I mean, she's a real person. It seems like a real story.

• 1:30:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh my God, that's such a funny, I didn't know that about the Matt Rife thing.

• 1:30:57Rayna Greenberg?

  I was like, you gotta send me the clip. We watch it together later.

• 1:31:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh my gosh. Yeah. What questions do you have?

• 1:31:02Speaker 01

  I mean, so many questions, but also this man was rewarded for being a fucking lunatic.

• 1:31:07Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. I just, you know.

• 1:31:08Speaker 01

  What's gonna stop him from doing this again? He got everything he wanted.

• 1:31:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  True. She made the bed and she fucked.

• 1:31:13Rayna Greenberg?

  So, you know, not to like take it in a serious direction, but like most of the stories that we read, we got tons of stories from you guys. And thank you for all the submissions. So many of them were like, this behavior was weird, but I just went with it. And I think that like that happens a lot as long as you feel safe. That's, that's the most important thing. But like, you should feel empowered to leave at any time, always. And so many of these stories were just like, somebody had bad behavior at a restaurant or with the server. I went back to his place and he was acting kinda weird. Like you should feel empowered to not placate a person and get the fuck out of there. And I think women are just like, I'll just ride this out.

• 1:31:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, she said what? She like was horny, which is also fine, but like also don't trick yourself into being horny and thinking you just want some dick. Like if you really are feeling weirded out, just go.

• 1:31:57Speaker 01

  But also things like this is like the man's strategy, especially on apps. When people are like, how could he say that to me? How could he do this to me? It's like, you should act that way. But why men do that is because they do it to a hundred women and one of them will be down for it. And that's their strategy. I'm just gonna be a fucking crazy person. One of them will just be hot and horny. So great.

• 1:32:16Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 1:32:17Speaker 01

  That's the game they play.

• 1:32:18Rayna Greenberg?

  It's so true. Like it.

• 1:32:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  He did all this stuff and he still got laid. That's literally validating that nothing he did was out of pocket.

• 1:32:26Speaker 01

  And the next 100 girls could say no to it. He's like, got one of them, so I'll keep trying this, I guess.

• 1:32:30Rayna Greenberg?

  And he like drove around and talked about what he knew and didn't ask her any questions. And he's not getting any feedback other than, we're gonna fuck at the end of this, you know?

• 1:32:38Speaker 01

  It all worked out.

• 1:32:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, and it's, I don't know, it feels a little disrespectful to bring somebody out on some errands.

• 1:32:43Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 1:32:44Speaker 01

  That's why I'm like, if the sheets are part of the game, like you open up his closet, just 100 sheets in there.

• 1:32:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God, this is his move.

• 1:32:49Speaker 01

  Every date is just the same thing.

• 1:32:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:52Speaker 01

  He goes and returns them.

• 1:32:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally. He's got a sheet cake.

• 1:32:55Rayna Greenberg?

  So many times I've just like done it for the plot, but like, I do think when you go home with somebody, you sleep with them. Now there's like this kind of social contract between you and this person and they are sort of in your life. And now you gotta like deal with it. And I don't want to do that.

• 1:33:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, well, hopefully she won't need any trees chopped down. Okay, just gonna do one more. So she writes, my first date after a long-term relationship, I met a cop at a bar and he convinced me to go out with him. We went to a Dominican restaurant and he ordered multiple pitchers of drinks and rounds of hookah. He opened up about how he lives at home, financially supports his family, but not really interested in moving out since he enjoys his mom's cooking and the comfort of it all. In my buzz state, this tugs at my heart. So when the bill came, I offered to split it with him. After a few seconds, he says, are you sure? Well, I can't back out now. My half of it was $150. I felt a certain way since he was the one ordering the multiple pitchers and the rounds of hookah, but a 23-year-old me wanted to show my independence. As we get into his car from the valet, he's

• 1:33:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  pretty buzzed, but I was too. He full-on hits a parked car in the valet area as he's trying to get out and then speeds off while reminding me he's a state trooper and saying, it's all good. What state? Tell us. Next thing I realized is that we're going the opposite way to my apartment. I bring it up to him and he says, oh, I was actually thinking we go back to my place since my parents are out of town. So I accept my fate that I'm being kidnapped. We show up to his apartment building. He gives me a tour and when we get to his room, he still has a bunk bed from when he and his brother used to share. Not the bunk bed. His brother has since moved out and married. I still don't know how I stayed around that night. Exactly. Eventually we made out on his couch and I had to call an Uber since he was too drunk to drive me home and didn't want to lose his parking spot.

• 1:34:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  These are the people protecting and serving our communities. He hit a parked car, a police officer.

• 1:34:36Speaker 01

  I will, I think there's two separate things there. I think on the one hand, don't ever get in a fucking car with someone buzzed. Like honestly, like I did it once and I just didn't know, like I was very young and got in a car with someone and like we drank the same out and I felt fine. So I was like, okay, must be fine. He was not. And I was just like, you know what? Being in that car, I was like, this is the stupidest way to die in the history of the fucking world.

• 1:34:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, totally.

• 1:35:00Speaker 01

  Get the fuck out. Like that's it. You hit a goddamn car?

• 1:35:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right. That was your sign.

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  Get the run out of the car. But that's a separate thing from the fun. So whatever.

• 1:35:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  And again, I do think that like women are just trained to like placate a little bit, you know? Yeah. But you're so right. He hit a car. He's been drinking pitchers. I mean, I again, have a rough past with drinking and driving and I know that. And like, I was so, it's so funny because I think about it sometimes. I'm like, something bad really could have happened, but obviously so don't, don't drink and drive. I can't even imagine it now. It's like weird to think about, but I was with this guy and I could tell he was drunker than I realized. And I remember where I was. I was on Piedmont Road in Atlanta and I knew where the Chick-fil-A was. I was like, I'm going to have him pull over when we into the Chick-fil-A parking lot and just tell him gently like, hey, I think you should pull over and let's figure this out and we'll get a cab or whatever. This is pre-uber. And that's when the blue lights came on and he went to jail. It was crazy. I mean, he got a DUI on our date.

• 1:35:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  I had to bail him out of jail the next morning. He took forever to pay me back. I did go to a bail bondsman and luckily I, I know how it works because I've been through it, but it was insane. And then I was with another guy who I was like just hooking up with this guy. This was also back in Atlanta and one night I was out with him and he was driving and I didn't realize he had been drinking and it started to hit me. And I was like, you gotta drop me off. I felt unsafe, whatever. I ended up getting out of the car and I was like, you're gonna get a DUI. I don't really think this is a match and just be careful out there. A week later, I got a DUI. I did not see that coming. I was like, I'm a witch and I'm a DUI whisperer.

• 1:36:28Speaker 01

  But again, this man was rewarded for being a fucking lunatic. That's a little far, but like for making every wrong decision, he was still rewarded. So it's like, come on.

• 1:36:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I think that we are getting better at saying no to men. I think when you're really young, like I made these type of decisions. I didn't catch the ages of these girls. When I was like 24, 25, it was hard for me to say no. And I just was like, well, I'm here. I'll just lean into it. I don't want to be a problem. I don't want to cause an issue, you know? Before Uber also, you're like, well, how am I going to get home?

• 1:36:58Speaker 01

  But even like splitting the thing, like if that's going to make you feel weird and be like, you know, do the fake. And then like, no, he should have paid for it.

• 1:37:06Rayna Greenberg?

  But I would be like, you brought me to the hookah bar. I know these are expensive. It's like bottle service out here.

• 1:37:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Is that expensive?

• 1:37:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, I just know there it's a thing you gotta pay for. Like, I'm like, if you came here, this is an added expense. I didn't need to do hookah tonight. Also, I didn't, if somebody else is doing all the ordering, I don't think I should have to pay. Right. Like $300 is an extremely expensive check and it would make me uncomfortable on a first date to not offer to split that. Like somebody does not owe me a $300 dinner, but if you're doing all the ordering.

• 1:37:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  And you chose it. Yeah. I think that's a, I do really think that's a great call. I think probably it's just unacceptable to, to drink and drive. Like, I mean, and that's coming from someone that used to do it all the time, like this day and age. And you're so right. Like, can you imagine that's how you go out on a first date with some drunk idiot in his, in his F-150?

• 1:37:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Sounds like he was in a PT Cruiser.

• 1:38:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Kia Soul.

• 1:38:03Ashley Hesseltine?

  Also never get in a Kia Soul, just in general. Like if someone tries a Kia Soul, like you can't.

• 1:38:07Speaker 01

  Better than like a fucking Cybertruck.

• 1:38:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, on the, on the hierarchy.

• 1:38:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  What's worse? It's Cybertruck's the top.

• 1:38:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Rent a PT Cruiser, what a deep cut. Are they still around?

• 1:38:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, they're the worst.

• 1:38:23Speaker 01

  They're somewhere.

• 1:38:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  So Cybertruck, and then after that, like.

• 1:38:26Speaker 01

  I mean, any fucking Tesla at this point.

• 1:38:28Rayna Greenberg?

  What's a cop, what's a cop car, Crown Vic?

• 1:38:29Speaker 01

  That's like old school.

• 1:38:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Why get in a Crown Vic comfy?

• 1:38:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Big backseat.

• 1:38:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Cybertruck and then.

• 1:38:36Rayna Greenberg?

  I think Kia Soul is right on.

• 1:38:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  The green ones?

• 1:38:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Have you guys seen them?

• 1:38:40Speaker 01

  They could be cool. I don't know.

• 1:38:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Nah.

• 1:38:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  What else?

• 1:38:44Speaker 01

  I mean, any kind of like oversized giant truck.

• 1:38:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Truck.

• 1:38:47Speaker 01

  That's like absurd. Like, your car is big, but that's still a normal car. Like, if you like switched out the tires on your fucking giant pickup truck.

• 1:38:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Lifted it.

• 1:38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you're not working on a farm.

• 1:38:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  Anything lifted.

• 1:38:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't love a souped up sports car. Listen, I'm not hot enough to be picked up in a Lamborghini, but. I'm sorry.

• 1:39:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's for girls in their twenties.

• 1:39:06Rayna Greenberg?

  What?

• 1:39:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  A Lamborghini is a red flag, do you?

• 1:39:10Rayna Greenberg?

  Can you imagine?

• 1:39:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's my dream.

• 1:39:14Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, you getting out of a Lamborghini is your dream.

• 1:39:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Actually, no, it's not.

• 1:39:17Rayna Greenberg?

  You owning the Lamborghini.

• 1:39:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Just full pussy out. Those cars are so hard to get out of.

• 1:39:21Rayna Greenberg?

  Are those the suicide doors? Butterfly? Suicide? I think they're both.

• 1:39:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, Lamborghini is a red flag. If you have a Lamborghini, like, did you rent it, is my point. You know what I mean?

• 1:39:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can't do that.

• 1:39:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, the only people that have those are super rich. You should know that going in advance who you're going on a date with. So if it's something, it's like, did you rent this for the date? They have the Honda Civic at home.

• 1:39:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, the people have those like Cars of the Month clubs, which I think are kind of cool.

• 1:39:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Those are expensive.

• 1:39:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Rich.

• 1:39:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  They have a timeshare.

• 1:39:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Time share Lamborghini.

• 1:39:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. Okay. Well, Jeremy, this is so much fun.

• 1:39:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  We covered a lot.

• 1:39:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, this is fun.

• 1:39:58Ashley Hesseltine?

  Tuna, Lambos.

• 1:40:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  DUIs.

• 1:40:02Rayna Greenberg?

  Your content is so good, and you're on literally every platform imaginable. So where do you want people to find you?

• 1:40:07Speaker 01

  Everywhere you want to find me, I'm there. Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat, Got the Podcast Going newsletter, if you want to like dive deeper into anything. Yeah, fun stuff everywhere.

• 1:40:16Rayna Greenberg?

  And that's at Jeremy Jacobowitz.

• 1:40:17Speaker 01

  At Jeremy Jacobowitz, yeah.

• 1:40:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  What's your fave?

• 1:40:19Speaker 01

  My fave to produce for? I mean, I love YouTube. I watch YouTube all day. I watch you guys on YouTube.

• 1:40:24Rayna Greenberg?

  He loves. He gives me feedback on our YouTube episodes.

• 1:40:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, YouTube's on 24/7.

• 1:40:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. And you guys can check us out on YouTube. We are on YouTube, so join the club. Jeremy's the president. And we are girlsgottaeat.com, girlsgottaeatpodcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess, Raina is Rayna Greenberg. And we will see you Thursday. Have a good week, guys. Bye.