Are Men Becoming More Accountable? with Dale Moss

One of our first-year guests Dale Moss is BACK and we’re getting into it (What’s his relationship status? What kind of woman is he looking for? Would he do reality TV again? Was his Bachelorette season really as crazy as it looked? What’s up with those Party City modeling pics?). But we’re also going deeper into the current state of men and the dating landscape – how women are raising their standards and if men are rising to the occasion, guys holding their friends accountable with bad behavior, and if bro code is over. We also discuss his wellness-based dating app, drinking/not drinking on dates, when your sibling doesn’t like someone you’re dating, and getting through your most painful breakup. Before Dale joins us, we are recapping our trip to Dewey Beach, breaking down the different types of husbands on vacations, Rayna sets the record straight on her “hard launch,” and Ashley has an appendage update. Enjoy! Follow Dale on Instagram @dalemoss13 and check out the Ateam app. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: BetterHelp: See reviews and decide if it’s right for you at https://betterhelp.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at https//:article.com/GGE. Butcher Box: Get $20 off your first box and free shipping plus your choice of ground beef, chicken or sirloins in every box at https://butcherbox.com/gge. Zenni: Get 15% off at https://zenni.com/podcast with code PODCAST15. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/gge and exclusive offers when you download the app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Sometimes you leave a date and you're like, were they funny or was I just funny? Was that the martinis? Yeah.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  I think, I think you were funny.

• 0:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh.

• 0:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. August 3rd, July is over. We had a legendary run. It's my favorite month of my life. It's my favorite month. I just, I can't believe it.

• 0:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  We did a lot. We were recapping the month. We were like, we did the most. Never had a July like that. But we have Dale Moss today, Rayna's new man. No, we will talk about Rayna. All Reyna. Reyna, you guys had a moment.

• 0:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't know.

• 0:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  And it was very funny. I'm still rooting for you guys. He can be the third in your couple.

• 1:00Rayna Greenberg?

  Insane thing to say. Insanely disrespectful thing to say. I think him and Shashank could have a great time together.

• 1:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God. Anyway, we are glad to have him back for you guys. You've been requesting it for years. So we have Dale today.

• 1:15Rayna Greenberg?

  We answer the burning question of, was it a date? Shashank, I love you.

• 1:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  So much disrespect.

• 1:21Rayna Greenberg?

  I actually sent you the other day. I have something so nice to say about Shashank. People are gonna be like, Reyna needs to calm down.

• 1:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I'm sad, girly pop. Say it.

• 1:30Rayna Greenberg?

  I'm gonna say it. We talk about Dewey. All right. We're thinking of partners. We'll get right into it. Thank you to BetterHelp. See reviews and decide if it's right for you at betterhelp.com/gge. An article, get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/gge.

• 1:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  And thank you to ButcherBox. Get $20 off your first box and free shipping, plus your choice of ground beef, chicken, or sirloins in every box at butcherbox.com/gge. And thank you to Zenny. Get 15% off at zenni.com/podcast with code PODCAST15. And Quince, get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quince.com/gge. And app exclusive offers when you download the app. Ooh.

• 2:11Rayna Greenberg?

  So, yes, as August starts, I look back on the best month of my life, um, July, which I just, we went to Dewey Beach. We took our annual trip. This was very early in the year for us. We typically go like late August and I didn't really have any plans for July as of early June. We, I think we planned our trips like mid-June.

• 2:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. I think early days, we would go to Dewey in July, but then I really just started to prefer August. And it's always great. You know, I love a September. I love a June. I was there for Memorial Day weekend, but this was like, was a little early for us. And I think even some people in the town were surprised.

• 2:49Rayna Greenberg?

  We surprised the town.

• 2:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  This is the most when we see listeners of the show and it's so special. Us, we love you guys all over. But it's just so fun to run into the Girls Gotta Eat community in Dewey for eight years running now. And it's just so fun. And I mean, I saw a girl on the street and she was like, you guys usually come in August. People know that we're not usually there. So we surprised everybody. We were there for my brother's birthday and just that was the time that worked best for us to go. And it really was such a special trip.

• 3:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I was having a lot of feelings about it. So we invited some new people on the trip. First of all, Shashank came. He was the only guy on the trip. He was the honorary girl on the girls' trip. Um, and we brought Megan, who was new, and some people who usually do come, didn't come. And I don't know, I was driving down with Megan to meet you guys and I was just thinking about like, you know, what we have sold women about their lives. If they don't have children by a certain age, or they don't get married by a certain age. And I feel that you and I speak about this a lot. But this was really representative of that to me where I just thought like, here is me and one of my closest friends driving down to meet up with my best friend. And we're all gonna like, share this condo and my life is so full and I didn't need a ton of money to do this trip. I don't need a partner to do this trip.

• 4:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Just like, this is the thing that matters to me the most in life. And I never thought I'd be like 40, sharing this like condo with like my best friend and her husband. And two of my other girlfriends who are single and I don't have kids and like my life feels so full. And I've taken a different route than other people have taken or that society tells women to take. And it just, I had a real moment of like, just gratitude for being able to do that and having life not have turned out the way you thought it would when you were young. But it's like, better.

• 4:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And I mean, I'm married, whatever. But like, all my friends are single. Forty-three years old. And like, I've taken all these trips with all these single girls. Like, I, it's, it's crazy. And it feels so inspiring at this age. And you know, I'm a couple of years older usually, but everybody is still late 30s, early 40s. And the France trip, the Dewey trip, we went to this concert, which we'll talk about, like, it's me and a bunch of like a hot, single ladies. And I'm just like this, the married woman. And I'm like, this is pretty dope.

• 5:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know, and I say to Shashank where I'm like, he's younger than me and all his friends, most of his friends are married and having kids. And I'm out here with like, all my friends are single. I mean, we're always like running around New York. And of course, these are women that I've chosen to surround myself with in recent years, women that want to live life in a certain type of way. And of course, I have tons of friends who are married with kids too. But it has become like more apparent that I'm doing really fun, amazing things with women who are not tied down in any way. And who are all living their best lives and are just like happy and hot and crushing it.

• 5:48Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, all of our friends are single. And our other two friends that we were with, our friend Laura threw a pool party and our friend Lee came down and neither of them were with their husbands. I mean, one of their husbands was back at their house. The other one was upstairs in the house. But like, it was just us and all these girls and like, no kids. And your nephews came over, which was very cute. But I don't know. I just, we say it all the time. You can just choose a really, I guess, you know, quote, quote, alternative path in life than the norm. But it's still this like, really full, special, amazing life. And I'm never lonely for one minute. I'm not wanting for anything. I'm just, I felt really grateful and happy.

• 6:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you know, like, the first friend that gets married in like your twenties and she's like, I'm the first one. And then everybody's single and running around. Why, how is that me at 43?

• 6:31Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't know.

• 6:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Literally, how? How is that happening?

• 6:34Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't know how this happened. I mean, honestly, my friends have really all done me a solid. None of them are married. None of them have kids. I mean, and you married somebody who just like, he is part of the girl group. I mean, most of our friends, almost all of them are with people that I really like.

• 6:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  We tolerate. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We do like most of that, but.

• 6:55Rayna Greenberg?

  But like, I wouldn't invite them on a girls' trip. Like, I think there's this wide range of like partners you have, like of male partners. You have the male partners that just kind of sit there and say nothing and they're just a piece of furniture in the room. And I don't, I don't hate it, but I don't need it. And then you have like male partners that just need like so much attention. And I definitely don't want that. That's gross. Why, you're in a group of girls, you get no attention.

• 7:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Too much, mansplaining, get it, like, speak out of turn. No.

• 7:21Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I don't. I just, I don't want that. I just, I don't need like an extra piece of furniture in the room and I don't need somebody that wants a lot of attention. He's just like, right up the middle. He like speaks what's spoken to. He says something funny and goes back to his phone. Like, he's just happy to let you shine. I mean, let, let this be an example to all men. I think that's really the only person I want around me in a group.

• 7:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's so true. And you guys are like dead ass when you're like, should Shashank come? I'm like, what? Like, you and Megan will be like, well, like, it'll be the three of us and someone will be like, I wish Shashank was here. I'm like, y'all, okay. I mean, it's so flattering. And he's just so chill and easy. He's the easiest person to be around. And when he obviously contributes something to a conversation, it's valuable. And he just kind of chills and he gets along with everybody. But he does have a Dewey personality that comes out. And Dewey Shashank really came out on this trip. And we were at the Starboard one night. And this singer and band, I love, her name's Kristen and the band is Kristen and the Noise, but she didn't have her whole band with her.

• 8:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  And she just had two members of the band. And this is someone I've been seeing and looking up to since I was 19 years old. I mean, or younger, probably. She's been playing in and around Delaware and Dewey Beach for so long. And she's just has the best voice. She's just such an icon and she has become a fan of our show. So the first time I realized like she knew who we were, it was at this, I think it was a Starboard staff party. I was tagging along with Matt. And I'm like, I can't believe that Kristen is like a fan of mine. Like, I'm a fan of yours. Like, it just is one of those crazy, full circle moments. And so she's playing at the Starboard, Sunday night, we go in and she's just like, Girls Gotta Eat in the house. And she's just being so funny. And then she came over and talked. She met Shashank and he was giving her requests and she was playing them.

• 9:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  And at one point, she was singing Alanis Morris that You Oughta Know. And we were all like right up front and singing along. Shashank hands her his phone. I'm like, what are you doing?

• 9:16Rayna Greenberg?

  No, no.

• 9:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  That is the Kristen and the noise. What are you doing? She grabs it. And then she like turns it around and is filming herself. We'll put this on the screen. It's also on my Instagram. And is like filming herself with all of us. Like, she understood the assignment immediately. When I saw him hand Kristen his phone, I was like, sir? And he knew. They had like a moment.

• 9:38Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I felt like I watched it in slow motion. I was like, everything I thought about you is wrong. Every single thing. I thought you were so cool. I mean, gassing you up. And you, you deigned to hand your phone to Kristen in the middle of this? Like, what is about to happen? This is so crazy.

• 9:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  He knew and she knew. And we got this really fun video out of it. Of course, like, it's, you know, it's, it's a casual chill vibe. It's like some concert and you're just like bothering the performer. You know, like, it really went off and we were talking to her and stuff like that. But people like, he has, like, when he gets some drinks in him, he really does kind of become more outgoing. And he'll like be dancing and like, you know, rocking out. And it just was very fun. I feel like everyone's like, I really love Dewey Shashank. I'm like, yeah. I mean, it's, we've had one, we've had one night where he did pass out. It was the night we got engaged. And he did have to go home early and pass out with his shoes on. But that was the only time that Dewey really defeated him.

• 10:37Rayna Greenberg?

  Hey, we'll defeat you. I mean, it's the most defeated I've had been on a trip too. But it was just so special. And I feel like I owe you guys an explanation if you're curious of what we do down there. So, so we were at the first night, we always go to the jam, which is live music. It's really fun. It's our first stop. If you wanna, you know, you can figure out where it is if you guys wanna come stalk us. But, um, we're there and Megan, our friend, sees this guy with a shirt that says, I love mentally unstable women. And she's like, you gotta get a photo with this guy. And so he doesn't even turn around. I'm just like, I'm gonna take a photo with you. I take a photo of like my face with just his back. And then he walks off, never to be seen again. And I'm kind of drunk and we're all just like, we should feed Postin, right? Hard launch. Obviously, that's not my boyfriend.

• 11:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Obviously, it's just a funny joke and I posted it and all of you guys commented and I feel like I got some of you guys excited and I'm so sorry. I love you guys so much. I love that you're excited for me. That is not my man. He did, however, I will tell you guys, find me. He found me, he slid into my DMs, he said, hey, that's me. He sent me a photo of himself wearing the shirt. He was like, when can I see you again?

• 11:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, they always find you. There's always a way. I'm sure someone sent it to him.

• 11:50Rayna Greenberg?

  Yes.

• 11:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  That knows us.

• 11:52Rayna Greenberg?

  We have a large fan base in like the Philly, Delaware, DC area. So somebody just thought, he was wearing an Auburn hat, right? Auburn? So somebody definitely just like sent it to him, but he was in my DMs quick. And listen, you guys, I did try to meet up with him and then he said he had to go back to work and then, if this guy has a girlfriend.

• 12:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, God. Listen, anyone can have that shirt. It's just they sell it on the internet.

• 12:17Rayna Greenberg?

  I just thought you guys would obviously know it was a joke that I'm standing next to a sign that says I love mentally unstable women, which I am, but it made me laugh really hard. I'm so sorry to break your heart, guys.

• 12:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, so we just wanted to set the record straight on that. But it really was such a great trip. I just, something about it this time around, we just had such a good time. Everyone was like, this is like, just been the best. And everyone just felt really grateful. And we did this big boat trip with all our friends and family and Matt's friends for his birthday and my nephews were on it. And it was just, it was just wonderful. So I just, I was just feeling really a lot of gratitude on this last trip.

• 12:56Rayna Greenberg?

  I just, I really felt it. I just, I felt really like emotional about it. But like, this is the thing I value the most, more than Saint Tropez, like more than these other things. And it's just, I'm, I'm just glad it turned out this way. And I just would like to say that for the second year running, I am the pontoon boat flip cup champion. No one can beat me. I am a frat guy at heart and no one can beat me.

• 13:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I mean, I can't argue with that. Rayna, we play musical flip cup. It's so fun. We did it last year on My Bachelorette on the same boat. We did it again this year and Rayna won again. I think you are the right height.

• 13:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 13:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  You don't have to bend over as much. Like you're eye to eye with that solo cup.

• 13:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I know.

• 13:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  You just flip it.

• 13:39Rayna Greenberg?

  And your nephew Aaron was like holding my hand, dancing with me, walking around. It's so cute.

• 13:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like the music starts, you walk around, dance around the table, it stops, you take your drink, you flip the cup. That's musical flip cup, obviously. But Rayna was kind of in charge of Aaron. I had like, showed him how to flip the cup when it was empty and we had a fun time with it. That's on my Instagram as well, Ash has. But then Rayna was like walking around with him and I was like, he's gonna get some alcohol. Like I was like, I feel like no, I hope, I don't know how much you were really paying attention. I was like, there's no way Aaron doesn't get some high noon on this boat.

• 14:11Rayna Greenberg?

  But I paid attention. I mean, I just, you know, I'm scared of your sister in law. I feel like she's the kindest person in the world, but I don't want to get her done drunk.

• 14:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm kidding. But there was a point where we were like joking, we were like, is this safe to do?

• 14:26Rayna Greenberg?

  He's my little good luck charm. I love him so much.

• 14:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, he was such a sweetie. So it was really nice. And then after that, we, I came back to New York and I was there for a minute and then we went to this concert. If you guys spotted us in Edmonton, Canada, which Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which is a place I had never been. And we went to the Post Malone and Jelly Roll concert and Carter Faith was also on the bill. And this was a tour that they have been on. Post Malone is touring all over and Jelly Roll did this North American run with him. So this was like close to the end. Like we were at like the third to last show. And we had a blast. I

• 15:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  mean, they're both so talented. We just love them and had the best time. And a lot of people, like I posted some on my Instagram, like some photos and people were like, what the fuck were you guys doing in Edmonton? Why didn't you tell us that you were there? So sorry, we'll give you a heads up next time. And it's just, it's nice to see a place that we haven't been and we know we have lots of listeners in Canada. So maybe we'll come to a show there. Some days Shashank has family there. You know, he was very, he's been a number of times, but we had never been. And it was just, it was great. The concert was incredible. Can't recommend it enough. It's, it's over now. That, that bill, like Jelly Roll and Post Malone, but we're glad we got to see it.

• 15:49Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, it was amazing, honestly. Well, we, you and I performed with Jelly Roll on stage at the goddamn Comedy Jam in LA. So we actually have performed with him. But I've never seen, I've never seen Post Malone live. It was, he performs with no shoes. I was like, that is brave.

• 16:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, he is shoeless. And yeah, Jelly Roll is so kind and wonderful. And they're just both so talented. But Post Malone is up there, no shoes. At one point, he poured a beer into his hat and drank it. And then it, I think he was even like, that didn't go as well as I thought it was gonna go.

• 16:26Rayna Greenberg?

  He was smoking a cigarette? How do you sing and smoke cigs? I mean, I love cigs, but I couldn't do it.

• 16:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think he's so talented. He can do whatever. He can be drinking, he can be drunk, he can be no shoes, he can be smoking a cig and he's still performing in such a way. Like he can just pull it off. I mean, they both are. And Carter Faith is incredible too. And so sweet. And she has an amazing voice. And it was just an amazing concert. And you know, we had a great time in Edmonton. We had steaks both nights we were there, that Alberta beef.

• 16:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Thank God.

• 16:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  I ordered the same steak both nights. I was like, I need that steak.

• 17:02Rayna Greenberg?

  I love steak so much. It was better the second night, too. Also, we learned how young Post Malone is and I did not realize. Did you know he was that young? I think he's 31?

• 17:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, I guess I, when he first, he's, yeah, he's 31. So he started his career 10 years, not 11 years ago. Like I didn't realize he was a child star when he first came out. But it was great. We loved it.

• 17:22Rayna Greenberg?

  It was, it was really fun. Again, I have never spent so much time with you in my whole life.

• 17:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  It has been a lot. Well, I also had one more thing I wanted to announce. I know you guys always love to know what's going on with my body. I lost a toenail and I

• 17:42Rayna Greenberg?

  It's rough.

• 17:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  realized his toenail was coming loose like a couple of weeks ago. And it's like from running, which is like, how fucked up is that? You're trying to do something good for your body, be fit, be healthy, and you lose a toenail? It's like runner's toe or whatever. So I had noticed that it was coming loose. And it was at the point where I was like, it's about to fall off and I don't want to like rip it off, whatever. So I went to my nail salon in New York. It's called Golden Tree. That's where I've always gone. I was excited to go back there and visit my own stomping grounds. And I go in there and I'm like, gonna get a pedicure. This was like before we left for Dewey. And I'm trying to talk to the nail tech about what we can do about the toenail. And it is tough to have that type of conversation with a language barrier. Like, what are we gonna

• 18:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  do about this thing on my body? Like, what type of surgery are we gonna perform on an appendage when we really are not able to communicate?

• 18:37Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, I think that they see this stuff every day. This has happened to me.

• 18:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So I was like, I'm gonna just trust her. Sometimes you can communicate better than, this was not really one of those times. I was like, I feel like we're not, she was saying glue and powder. And I'm like, sounds great. And then, so I was like, I guess we're gonna do it. Cause she was trying to take it off. I was like, don't take it off. And I think she knew what was best. And so she's, I was like, let's leave it. Let's just like patch it up. I was just being a pussy about it. So she mentions glue, she mentions powder, she goes to town, she does a powder dip, whatever, she glues it back on. It looks perfect, right? I mean, you guys saw it. It was the best of all 10 of them, was the fake toenail, or whatever the fuck she did. So I'm like, she crushed it. I like, we go, we went that night. Oh, I forgot to, we need to talk about Chicago. I want to mention Chicago.

• 19:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  We went out to Chicago that night and the musical. And I'm like, this was perfectly done. You know, no notes. And what, a week later, I went for a run in Dewey. I ran to yoga and the second I got to the yoga studio and took off my sneakers, the toenail was loose again. Lost the toenail. Lost my toenail implant. So if anyone can like feel my pain on this, it is so brutal. And so then I just had to like take it off myself. It's regrowing.

• 19:57Rayna Greenberg?

  You gotta start painting the skin. You can try to put a tip on it. I have, the first time I put an acrylic nail on my toe, it was a real like reckoning moment for myself.

• 20:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  It's a humbling experience, losing a toenail. Yes. It's starting to grow back. I'm not going to paint my toe. It's just what it is. I'm just gonna embrace it. And so the middle toe on my left foot, it's just, it's there and it's bare and.

• 20:22Rayna Greenberg?

  It's there and it's bare.

• 20:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  But anyway, so I just wanted to throw this in. That night, jog my memory, we saw Mateo Lane in Chicago, the musical. He plays Billy Flynn. It was incredible. He is such a brilliant, incredible talent. And so we just wanted to mention that. But is he in it anymore?

• 20:43Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I love the, I love the theme of this intro. We're just telling you guys about stuff you can't do anymore. And that's okay.

• 20:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, no.

• 20:49Rayna Greenberg?

  But you can't.

• 20:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  But you can't always lose a toenail.

• 20:52Rayna Greenberg?

  He is such an amazing talent. I just, Chicago is my favorite musical. I don't really actually care about musical theater that much, to be honest. If you guys do, great. It's not typically what I spend my money on. He was so phenomenal. He did a short run, I think, six weeks, maybe. And I mean, we've just, we've known him for so long. We've watched him just ascend to a level of fame and greatness that's just been so phenomenal. I'm so proud of him. I just felt like I was gonna cry when I saw him come out. And he was saying how wonderful the crew was to work with. And if you guys have the opportunity to see Chicago, I mean, they're an interesting musical because they typically have, um, I forget what he said, stunt, stunt casting, um, where they have like a famous person, like, you know,

• 21:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 21:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Woody Love it or animatics. Yeah. He just was so phenomenal.

• 21:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  So that was my first time seeing Chicago. People have seen it multiple times. I understand why. I really loved it. I didn't know too much about it. Like, you've seen the movie. I haven't seen the movie. I didn't know that it was just really all song and dance and a really minimal set. And the focus is on the choreography and the singing. And so anyway, just congrats to him. And sorry, you can't see him anymore. But again, like, it's one of those musicals that they'll be, someone you were really interested in seeing will probably star in it in your lifetime. That's how they do it.

• 22:04Rayna Greenberg?

  He said he wants to do it again. And I also, I came home and watched Chicago, because I love the movie. I'm obsessed.

• 22:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, well, we are just gonna talk about our partners and then we will get into a Dale Moss. I am telling you guys about Zenni. So we love this. I wear glasses. Raina sort of does. I never know what you're doing.

• 22:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I wore them the other night to watch TV. And I was like, oh, that's what stuff's supposed to look like. This improves my life a lot.

• 22:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  So if you wear glasses or sunglasses, you might know how it is. You don't want to replace them until you absolutely have to, because they can be really, really expensive. But Zenni is changing that. They are an online eyewear shop with stylish prescription glasses, sunglasses, and customizable lens options at prices that make it easy to own more than one pair, starting at under $30. So you're just gonna go to zenni.com, pick a frame, enter your prescription, customize your lenses, and they ship right to your door. No store visit, no pressure. And we just love the styles. I mean, with this, you can get multiple pairs. You can get a pair for work, get a fun pair. I just think there are so many cute looks. Like, I see people like doing a certain look. I'm like, can I pull that off?

• 23:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  You know, and I just, I never know. I always gravitate towards the same style. But I really want to get more like wire-rimmed pair. There are over 150,000 five-star reviews. And if you've never bought glasses online, Zenni has a virtual try-on. So I love this. I mean, there's so much tech that can really show you exactly how you're gonna look in these frames before you order them. I love these gold square glasses. Again, they start at just $30.95. So it is kind of like a trendy look. But you can just get them and see how you feel about them. And so that's the pair that I am really into at the moment. So you guys can check them out. That scratched-up pair has done its job. Upgrade today with Zenni.

• 23:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65. The styles sell out, so don't sit on it. That's Z E N N I dot com slash podcast, promo code PODCAST15.

• 24:05Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay, and you guys know I just moved. It was so important to me to like decorate my space and make it beautiful. Obviously, in New York, you don't have that much space to work with, so you gotta utilize it well. And I loved using Article. So Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an unbeatable price. When you go on their site, they have such a large range. So like in Venice, when I lived at the beach, I gravitated more to like a coastal look. But in New York, maybe a little more mid-century modern. They have Scandi-inspired pieces. And then if you go on their site or their Instagram, they'll show you how to pair everything together and curate a room. If you're like, I just don't know how to decorate anything. They take great care in curating the collections and focusing solely on like high-quality, meaningful pieces. The packaging is meticulous. The weight and feel of the product is great. It comes mostly assembled.

• 24:48Rayna Greenberg?

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• 25:30Rayna Greenberg?

  To claim, visit article.com/gge, and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com/gge for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

• 25:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, and I am so excited to talk to you guys about ButcherBox. We just got our ButcherBox. We have been having dinners with the meats in the ButcherBox like every night. Like, we did steaks last night. We did salmon the night before. We have made burgers. I mean, it's such, such good quality, and we are just obsessed with it. If you guys know, we cook a lot around my house. And so we have just had so much fun with it. And it makes it easy, like healthy, like eat healthier with these quality ingredients. And so you can just like stop overthinking dinner and focus on making something that you're gonna love. ButcherBox is 100% grass-fed beef, organic chicken, wild-caught seafood, and more. All sourced to standards they can actually tell you about. They've already done the research and made the tough sourcing decisions.

• 26:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  So all you have to do is decide what's for dinner. So we just love this. I mean, you, I'm sure you got yours too, and you've just been like enjoying it. It's just so nice to have like a freezer and a fridge stocked. Oh, we got the bacon too. We had the bacon in our burrito. And Shashank made BLTs. And what have you been making?

• 26:41Rayna Greenberg?

  It's just nice to have like a freezer stocked with everything. I came back, I have like ground beef, I have top sirloins, I have chicken, I have scallops. So I just have all these proteins that are really great in the freezer that I can grab, which I love.

• 26:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, we did a chicken parm. Uh, the chicken was so, you know, chicken can be a little weird. And so I just really trust the quality standards that they have in place. And if you guys want to go look on the Kitchen Sinks Instagram, we did like a chicken parm. Shashank made it like all tableside, and that was with the ButcherBox chicken. And so we are really just so obsessed with it. So I just think this is like the way to go. If you, no matter what you have going on, if you live alone, you live with a partner or a family, this is just great. If you are looking for an easier way to get great meals on the table, give ButcherBox a try. Go to butcherbox.com/gge to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ground beef for life,

• 27:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  or free chicken thighs, or top sirloins in every box for a year, with free shipping always. That's an insane deal. So that is butcherbox.com/gge. Again, butcherbox.com/gge for those items of your choice. Be sure to use our link so they know we sent you. And let's get into it.

• 27:50Rayna Greenberg?

  All right, guys, we are very excited to welcome back our guest today. He is a model, a death television personality, a former pro athlete, a partner in A-Team, a private members-only dating platform. He gained widespread fame in 2020 as a contestant on season 16 of ABC's The Bachelorette, where he won the final rose.

• 28:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Please log into the show. Back to the show, Dale Moss.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  This is a full-circle moment, so I appreciate y'all having me on.

• 28:16Rayna Greenberg?

  He gained popularity on 2018 when he gave out a girl's gotta eat.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Like, it's crazy to think like back, like, just, you know, early stages. And it's been awesome just to see the growth and everything y'all have done. So I'm so proud of y'all. And yeah, it's a full-circle moment. Let's go.

• 28:30Rayna Greenberg?

  Welcome back.

• 28:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  You were one of our first guests. We met you at a party, and we were like, he could come on. Yeah.

• 28:35Rayna Greenberg?

  We did. We met you at a party at Spring Place.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Spring Place, yeah.

• 28:39Rayna Greenberg?

  He just met with the Math Media people.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was a long time ago.

• 28:42Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I was like, let's have him on. Here we are.

• 28:46Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I was like, he's hot. Let's have him on.

• 28:48Speaker 01

  Let's go. I was here for it. It was fun, though. I remember that episode like very, very clearly, so.

• 28:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 28:54Rayna Greenberg?

  So what's happened in eight?

• 28:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, eight years.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  I mean, a lot of life has, has happened. There's so many transitions that we go through, right? Like, you know, there's the show, and then there's business, there's relationships. But life is really good right now. I'm really focused outside of the stuff, front-facing, really building business behind the scenes. We've got A-Team. I'm a partner at A-Team, which, simply put, if you think of like a Raya, but with a health and wellness pillar.

• 29:18Rayna Greenberg?

  We love it.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  We're launching in the city. It's, it's, it's going crazy right now. So that's been really fun. And, you know, I'm just really investing into things I'm passionate about and the ones that I'm able to, you know, have ownership and really be able to scale these businesses.

• 29:32Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, there's a lot of dating apps out there. What was, and we love something that doesn't focus on drinking. So what was like the idea behind this app?

• 29:39Speaker 01

  You know, I think one of the biggest things is people underestimate the value that our relationships have on our overall health and well-being. And like, dating apps have desensitized us to human connection. Like, it's swipe culture, and there's so many options, but that's not like really building a relationship. So we launched A-Team with the idea that if you can create a space with people with shared values, shared mindsets, around their health and their well-being, that you're getting them one step closer to alignment. And like we say, we're like the official dating app of wellness, but wellness is just the common ground. And then when you actually get into the product, it's human connection. So that's really the basis of it.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  You know, it's been like an awesome ride so far. We're early stages, but we've got a lot of traction, and it's been fun. I've, I've grown a lot from, from the process.

• 30:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Is it available or not now?

• 30:30Speaker 01

  So we're taking applications. We've got about 12,000 people on the waitlist.

• 30:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so people aren't using this app quite yet.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  So we built this in a very intentional way, where you have to be accepted on the platform.

• 30:39Ashley Hesseltine?

  Totally.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  So we're doing onboarding now. I think we've on boarded 4,000 people. We've got about 12,000 people in queue. Yeah, we're fully launching with our live events. The app's gonna be fully open here in roughly, we hope, like a month.

• 30:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my gosh. So can you tell us a little bit about how, we just jumped right in, but how it works? Like, how do you? Connect in that.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I, I mean, if you think about like a traditional app, a lot of like baseline features are very similar, right? It's what people are used to. The onboarding phase is a lot different. It's really asking a lot more about what's your day to day like your health, wellness, routines, fitness.

• 31:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  Never. Well, it's very funny because I think about like field, which is like, are you into like cuckin or choking?

• 31:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then this is more just like, do you like Peloton or?

• 31:25Speaker 01

  I was actually gonna get on that app.

• 31:27Rayna Greenberg?

  I love field. I mean, but it is like.

• 31:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you like being put in a cage? You want to get peed on? Do you want to have a threesome? You want to be a third in someone's couple? And I'm like, fuck yeah, let's fucking.

• 31:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  And Dale's app is like, do you, what's yoga flow? Do you like?

• 31:41Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you like to run on the West Side Highway?

• 31:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. But this is the thing though, like, it's not like people that don't drink, like, I love a good cocktail. I go out and I turn up, but I do know that like where I ground myself is like doing the hard things, like, you know, putting in effort at the gym. And it's, it's really all about alignment because I think like in having an identity, most of these apps don't have an identity. You know, Raya's like value proposition is exclusivity. These niche ones that actually catch on are, you know, doing really well. And our whole thing is to get people together in real, like real life.

• 32:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  I love that.

• 32:13Rayna Greenberg?

  We just think that like so many of our friends are sober and they don't drink and it's like, they have to introduce the idea that they're sober rather than meeting through some other type of activity. And I mean, I drink on a first date. I always do because I think it just lowers my anxiety. But it's crazy that you like walk into meeting a stranger, you immediately impair your judgment. You're like, I want to actually like lower my inhibitions to remember things, see this clearly, decide if I want to sleep with this person, see this person again. Sometimes you leave a date, you're like, were they funny or was I just funny?

• 32:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  Was that the martinis?

• 32:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  I think, I think you were funny.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  But in the most, in the, in the best way.

• 32:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  You guys, first of all, we need to talk about your relationship status, Dale. So someone sent me a reel.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Did someone make a reel of you being single?

• 32:59Speaker 01

  Oh Liv, yeah.

• 33:01Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's what made me want you to, we've always wanted to have you. We've been asking for years to come back on. And there was like some points where we always had you on and then you like couldn't come on and talk about your relationship because of The Bachelor, like to cancel on us, whatever. So we've been wanting to have you back on for years. Claire was like, no, no, but.

• 33:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Claire was like, we've acted too crazy.

• 33:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Someone sent me this reel of like Dale is single and looking. And she was like, you guys should have him back on. And I was like, you right?

• 33:26Speaker 01

  I, I've gotten so many messages. Yeah. Well, it's interesting because like you, you look at, you know, the reel and there's comments and stuff, but then actually like the DMs and everything like that.

• 33:37Ashley Hesseltine?

  What's going on in the DMs?

• 33:40Rayna Greenberg?

  I've been seeing a lot of this. Like man on the street, just going up to people like working out, typically working out and saying like, are you single? How old are you? What are you looking for? And I love it. Okay. So this was your friend that just was like.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was a fun thing. She, she'd wanted me to do it for a while and I've always been a little bit reluctant. But you know, the fact of the matter is, you know, like, you know, I am single. I think anything is going to like, kind of naturally happen in due time. But I was like, this, you know, this could be fun. Let's put it out there. And honestly, the response has been great. I've like, I'm not, I'm not going on, I haven't gone on any dates or anything from it. But people truly like, you see how much people are like yearning for connection and putting themselves out there.

• 34:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  You see the yearning.

• 34:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  So what are you looking for?

• 34:25Speaker 01

  I feel with the relationship, obviously we have to be like very aligned. I love a woman that's career driven, that really goes after, you know, what she's passionate about. I think that is a level of understanding that someone can relate with me because sometimes I don't know when to turn it off. And, you know, I've also realized like proximity for me is, is, is a big thing. I've done distance relationships for a long time. I, I travel a lot. I move around a lot. And really just like looking for someone that I can build a home with, right? I'm 37 years old. I'm pretty clear on what I want as far as a future. And it always goes like to my partner first, like, you know, kids and all that stuff can, you know, come after the fact. I think I'm also just in a place where I feel very comfortable

• 35:10Speaker 01

  and secure, opening up and like experiencing like new people and like just putting myself out there. So we'll see what happens.

• 35:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. So you've had some public relationships. That was gonna be my question. Oh, okay. So in terms of a public relationship, you've had these past public relationships, like even your relationships that weren't from reality TV or from The Bachelor, were still public.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, without a doubt.

• 35:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. So people know who you're dating. Like I am curious your thoughts on that. Or is that okay? Would you rather have it differently the next time?

• 35:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Or is it easier to be with somebody that understands that that is also the nature of what you do and them?

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. I think, I think it's really like a, you know, case by case situation. It's, it's funny because one of my relationships literally came.

• 35:53Ashley Hesseltine?

  From the podcast, we know.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  From the show.

• 35:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  We, no, we're aware.

• 35:56Rayna Greenberg?

  It's every man that comes on the show ends up just an avalanche of pussy.

• 35:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  But so we talked about, this was your ex and the breakup was public.

• 36:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was.

• 36:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  And so we, we mentioned it briefly on the podcast and she sent us a nice message and she was like, I don't know if you knew that I messaged Dale. Did she slide into your DMs when she heard you on our show?

• 36:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, from the 2018 show.

• 36:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Crazy. Like she's an.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  She listened to you like way, way later and then went back and listened to every episodes once she found the podcast.

• 36:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  So shout out to her.

• 36:24Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. But, um, you know, I think the public side and everyone handles it, you know, a lot differently. The show creates, and I think a lot of people in reality are, are dealing with this, right? When you go through ups and downs, like everyone in your life has to go on the ride with you, whether you like it or not. I think in a lot of situations, people are focused more on regulation than the actual relationship because of the stresses that go on around it. Me personally, back in 2020, that was like, you know, an eye opening thing, but I've had a full career, like whether it was sports, I've been, you know, in front of the camera, been in a lot of unique circles. So I had a life in this New York scene well before. So the public aspect was never really too difficult for me to handle. But I think

• 37:11Speaker 01

  you just really have to understand how you're going to protect, protect and preserve like the relationship. Because like not everyone, everything is for everybody. And I think also like, some people handle it really well. You know, previous relationship, uh, you know, it was definitely public, but we never had any issues. You know, we communicated about everything. We always came to each other first. We had each other's backs. Now sometimes stress, anxiety, it can build and uncharacteristic things happen just because of the pressure and stuff. So I've definitely accepted that my relationships are probably going to be public in some aspect. But that's also why I'm very conscious of like trying to protect the other person. So we can build without them feeling pressure, especially if they're not like the, the public eye or anything like that.

• 37:54Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, you've trained for this. I mean, you were objectively on the craziest season of The Bachelorette that's ever existed. It was, I mean, Dale was insane. You guys didn't see this in 2020. They left the show together. I mean, Claire was like on dates with other guys just to talk about Dale. It was, she was like, so what, what was Dale up to today?

• 38:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  She was like sniffing your boxers. And then they were like, Dale, you have to propose. And you were like, wait, what? We just had a guest before this. We were talking about it with her. We said, we have Dale Moss after this. She was like, wait, what? She's an incredible like author. And she's like, I also love reality TV. And I'm like, wasn't that the best season? The best six episodes of The Bachelor ever?

• 38:31Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, it was wild. Like when I look back at it, it now.

• 38:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. What do you feel like looking back at it?

• 38:37Speaker 01

  You know, I, I going into it, like everyone's like, oh, is this staged? No, like there was nothing staged there, right? And we also had a lot of time to like, because they shut down the filming and they, we had a lot of time to like, get to try to understand someone and like, you know, see the things that we like. Cause on social, even if you weren't talking, you could see it. And honestly, this is actually interesting how it compares to like dating apps. So you form and you see these things, but the reality is like, I also had an insecurity that you could make it work with anyone if you tried hard enough. And that like, I wanted to be the best possible partner for someone. But sometimes people just aren't the, the right fit, or there's life situations that are going on that make it like really tough. Like we were in the pandemic, we were, you know, a lot of things.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  But I learned like a lot from that season, but it was, it was crazy, but it shaped the way. And I'm, you know, grateful for it. It changed the way I look at relationships as a whole. And I think it helped me, you know, show up in a different way and also like put more boundaries.

• 39:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Cause you feel like previously you felt like I can make it work with anybody. This kind of changed your idea of that?

• 39:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. I think, you know, I've always had this, like, I've always been a provider. You know, I have all sisters. Uh, my dad was not in the picture a lot when I was growing up, you know, struggled with some addictions and things like that. So I've been paying bills at my house since I was in eighth grade, you know? And like, I always wanted to be that and do that and make sure. And I had this belief that if I like didn't execute, my family would fall apart. And, you know, I think that's something I had to grow out of. And I think it's also like that kind of mindset in a lot of ways, it's a lot of things that men are struggling with today. Like your identity is built on your success. When the reality is like, most don't even know how to express themselves emotionally.

• 40:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 01

  And I was very fortunate to have women in my life and I have women in business that are like my partners, my agents, like my team. And that was like a big gift for me. But even with that, like the pressures of like wanting to provide, it took a long time and I'm stubborn as hell to like actually let go and say, hey, like, I don't have to be all these things or I don't have to have everything figured out. So again, when you get everything stripped away after a relationship, you, you have two options. Either you grow from it or like, I don't know, you just keep going down the.

• 40:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, you spiral. So I, I am interested in that though. Like, are you a person who previously has felt like love is enough? Like I will make it work no matter what? And has that ever caused you to stay in a relationship kind of past its expiration?

• 41:03Speaker 01

  Oh, without, without question. Okay. Uh, because my, my parents were together for 45 years and like, there were times I prayed my mom would just, you know, separate, just because it was chaotic at times. But I also saw them stick together because they were friends and they really loved each other. But like, I never like believed in divorce. I never wanted to get divorced. It was just one of those things. My dad would always like say, like, he didn't believe in divorce.

• 41:25Ashley Hesseltine?

  Got it. Yep.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  But, uh, yeah, I've definitely stayed in some, you know, some on the public side, trying to, to weather the storm and like, see if there was a way like, you know, you could figure it out. But the reality is like, sometimes it's just not a match. But I've definitely got to the point where if I'm not feeling it, you know, I'll let someone know quickly. I move through things pretty quickly. You know, I've had to learn to not just like go into the shell and just isolate and just completely cut out like everybody as well, you know?

• 41:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Why would you cut out everybody? Post breakup or in the relationship?

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Not in the relationship, but I think the in between, right? You know, I've never been like big dater, but I also, I feel like we're in a world where people won't commit. Like they're very fickle. When shit hits the fan, like, you know, they blame other people. So I think that was just like, and that's just from some of the experiences I've had throughout life. And again, those are like protective barriers that like I had to just grow through and realize like, I had to also make better decisions on who or what I was like drawn to. You know, it's like a woman, like they don't want a man to try to like save them, right? It's like, how can you add to their life and how does it make sense naturally? And for me, like, you know, I had to learn that, like, I don't, I don't need to solve every single problem,

• 42:42Speaker 01

  especially in a relationship, if anything.

• 42:44Rayna Greenberg?

  I think a lot of women are like, I just want to hear like, man, that sucks. Instead of like, here's the solution to this.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:49Rayna Greenberg?

  You see a lot of people in that push and pull because I think a lot of men, they're like, the value I can bring is explaining to you how to fix this.

• 42:56Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm a fixer, y'all. I'll save you.

• 42:58Rayna Greenberg?

  Which is valuable in a lot of situations, but I think a lot of women are like, no, I need emotional intelligence. I need somebody to say like, that sucks and I'm so sorry, you know?

• 43:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, let's talk about this and this emotional intelligence and this modern masculinity. And I, I love hearing from you because you have sisters and like you said, women on your team, very Jalen Hertz of you to have a all female team or mostly female team, whatever. Yeah, but we want to talk about this and we were just talking with you, you're watching off campus right now. And I think that has really brought this version of masculinity that women are craving right now. Where you can have a strong, athletic, masculine dude. You don't need this Timothy Chalamet looking dude, but he can still like, this guy can still have feelings and emotion.

• 43:47Rayna Greenberg?

  He can still look like Jacob Beharty.

• 43:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  You can have both. And I think that you've probably embodied that for a long, you've probably, you've embodied that for a long time. But like, are you seeing more of it? Like, we just want to hear your take on this.

• 43:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, so I, I'm not all the way through the season, but I've gotten up to episode six. But it was really eye opening because it shows like what healthy relationships could look like. But also like the men in that, I think they're patient. There's times where they could get angry or, you know, pop off on someone and they don't. It's like, what's the best interest and how do we figure this out together? And they're like really respectful in it. And I think like, I do see that with men a lot nowadays. I think a lot of men, or maybe it's just the circles I run. And like, it's hard for me to also at the same time be around a lot of men because I just feel like I'm geared a little bit different.

• 44:35Rayna Greenberg?

  It's funny that you feel like that because you were a pro athlete.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:38Rayna Greenberg?

  You grew up on teams with men.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I, which is great, but it's just like, there's certain things that were like, I'm not out like trying to chase anything. If things happen naturally, like it is what it is. And I've also been like around, uh, like so many women were building like this dating app. And I've had so many conversations, but it's really interesting because I think a lot of men just don't know how to express and how to communicate. And I think like, there's a lot of confusion on like what they can and can't do. I've heard more in the workplace, right? Even complimenting someone and like some fear around it. But overall, like what the writers and the directors are doing on off campus is really like saying like, this is how like a relationship could or should be. And from a woman's perspective is saying like, this is what I'm looking for.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  And I think it's like, it's a great blueprint because you know, it's, it's truly like, that's a, something that I would hope that I would have in a relationship, that patience, that communication. Yeah, I just think it's, it's, it's sending a pretty clear message if anyone's actually going to like pay attention to it.

• 45:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you feel like you, men in your circle are like trying, like, are you seeing a shift?

• 45:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, like the ones like, uh, probably too many softies. No, but like, they won't ever admit that, but like, they want more out of a relationship. If they're in a tough situation, they're scared on like, how do I navigate this? Do I push through? Do I exit? Do I leave? A lot of like my close friends, because I'm, I'm an open book, like, you know, when I've gone through breakups, I communicate about it. You know, I've had friends see me just ball my eyes out and have never seen me cry in my life.

• 46:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like male friends?

• 46:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  But also in those states, like they're there for me, they talk through things, um, they share perspective, they check up. So those things definitely do happen. And like, I've been pretty fortunate with that in my life. But that's also what I look for in friendships and relationships. Like, you know, we've only got so much time and it's like, I can only fuck with like so many people. But if it's like, if you're not checking some of those boxes, we're not on the same page.

• 46:32Rayna Greenberg?

  Uh huh. I think, you know, pop culture gives people permission to be a certain way. So if you see these examples of men, it allows people to like be more like that.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:40Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't know. I hate to say like men are getting better because I never want to say that, but I don't know that I believe that.

• 46:45Ashley Hesseltine?

  I think they're getting better or worse. I think we have a, like disparity, yeah.

• 46:48Rayna Greenberg?

  But I've noticed this like trend in a couple of things and we were talking about it earlier, but I wanted to hear your thoughts. We wanted to hear your thoughts on it. And it first occurred to me on the summer house reunion when I was watching Jesse and Jesse Solomon and KJ really turned their backs on West. And West hadn't really done anything directly to either of them, but they were like, you have no integrity and so I can't fuck with you anymore. Like you have hurt people around you, you're a liar, you don't seem to like cop to anything. So like, I can't fuck with you. It's not like, obviously Carl was going to take Kyle's side, but like these other men that really were West's friends, sat on stage and were like, I don't fuck with you anymore. And then Ashley and I saw this example kind of recently in a breakup where this couple we know broke up. And I think we didn't really know whose side everybody was going to take hers or his. And his behavior was deplorable.

• 47:31Rayna Greenberg?

  His male friends were like, I cannot support this or fuck with this at all. I don't hate you forever, but like, I am not gonna, I'm not on your side for this.

• 47:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just can't have it. I think that's a common thing, like.

• 47:42Rayna Greenberg?

  You're seeing it more?

• 47:43Speaker 01

  Oh, without a doubt.

• 47:44Rayna Greenberg?

  The bro code is over.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  I think like, so like bro code.

• 47:48Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, let's talk about.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  Because like I, you know, dealt with bro code. I think some people just don't want to get involved in other people's shit in their relationships. So I don't think it's sometimes bro code. I think it's more like, you're an adult, handle your business, handle your, and also in like a day to day relationship. Like you're not in someone's house and all this shit all the time, right? But I do think like the conversations, I've had many friends that have distanced from some of their other friends. Cause they're like, I don't get down like that, like that's, that's grimy. I can't trust you if you're doing this or like you're married and this happens, like I can't be a part of it. So I think that's really a thing. And on the summer house side, those are relationships that have been built for a long time. And you're also like messing around, like on the inner workings, like that's a, that's, that's a tough thing to accept.

• 48:31Speaker 01

  So I think that's something that's a lot more common. I've seen people check the other person, even if without their significant other knowing and saying, yo, you gotta clean your shit up. You gotta like figure this out because like, one, she doesn't deserve that. Two, I can't be a part of it. If they're married and like they're running in the same circles, it's like, we can't like.

• 48:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  Don't involve me in that.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is just, it's, it's just messy.

• 48:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  Or like, it's integrity and it's character. And how you do one thing is how you do everything. Like, I don't know, can you have a, a guy friend that's fully cheating on his wife? And he's still going to be an honest, good friend to you? Maybe, but I think people are like, this is who you are as a person.

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  And so I can't, like, I can't trust you.

• 49:12Rayna Greenberg?

  But I think a lot of people have always been like, a lot of men have been like, boys will be boys. I'm not getting involved, that's my bro.

• 49:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Not my business.

• 49:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, not my business. He's a good friend to me. And I am seeing that less and less. I think that like, women hold men accountable, but like men have to hold men accountable. Your peers have to hold you accountable. It's fine, all day long, I can say men are fucking trash and that's important also. But I think your friends, your male friends need to say like, even I can't watch this and support this.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:38Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I mean, Raina and I had a friend that did some stuff that we just like could not look at her the same after. And it was tough. It was like, she hasn't done anything to us personally, but I can't fuck with this. Like we can be cordial, but like I, like, character matters.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  Well, I, I, I think it's a real thing. And I think like those conversations do happen all the time though. It's like, hey, you gotta address this, you gotta, you know?

• 50:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Get your shit figured out. And I think if there's like the gray area, the confusing point, it's like, at what point do you interject? And like, what role does that play on the relationship? Like, you know, is it, is it your place to tell John's wife that, hey, this is going on? Or is it, do you press John and say, you gotta get this cleared up? We're going to distance ourself, like this is your responsibility. Cause I think that's his responsibility, right?

• 50:30Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 50:30Speaker 01

  It's like the, the dynamics, like no one wants to be around chaos and no one wants to be around that type of behavior, especially like people doing it consistently.

• 50:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't know that I'd be the person to tell somebody's partner. I just, I don't want to be involved in that type of drama, but I, I can't be friends with you.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The distance is naturally gonna happen.

• 50:50Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know, we've talked about that, like, what if I was cheating on my husband?

• 50:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Actually, I can't, when you say things like that, it's just affecting me.

• 50:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  But I'm like, what, and I was like, Raina, you gotta support me, girl.

• 51:01Rayna Greenberg?

  I don't, it would really, it would harm our friendship. Cause I would be like, I'm so team Shishank on this. He doesn't deserve this.

• 51:10Rayna Greenberg?

  No, I'm just like, don't even suggest it. But no, I mean, if one of my friends was objectively doing something just so immoral, so like just devout of any real character. I just would be like, this will materially affect our friendship.

• 51:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 51:22Rayna Greenberg?

  You know, also don't tell me about this, but now we're in a dynamic where I'm like, don't tell me about your life. And people are like, well, you're judging me. It's like, well, you're doing something that is worth judging.

• 51:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, or like it's, you're in the middle of it. And then it's like, I'm not going to be your like sounding pod or whatever for something that like, I can barely like listen to you.

• 51:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I can't.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:40Ashley Hesseltine?

  It was interesting though, with summer house, I feel like we saw this reckoning. Like, I feel like Jesse is sobbing on stage was this like, men are coming to terms with like bad male behavior.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Clear as day. Like, I think that is a true, like authentic representation. And I think it's something that, you know, is common, like guys are more in tune. I'm not saying that they, they have it all figured out. And I think like a lot want to be like even more open, more vulnerable, things like that. But something's got to shift. Like they talk about like loneliness and all that, like what's the deal? Like, why is everyone single? I'm single.

• 52:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, but you have a track record of long-term serious relationships. You're not pathologically single.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, like I'm not someone who's like going on a million dates and it's all like following through. If anything, like I, especially now, like I'm looking, if I meet someone, like, are we going to have a potential to really build a life together?

• 52:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  I'm also very secure, like, you know, with myself and where I'm at with my career and the things that I'm focused on. I also know that sometimes I'm not the easiest person to be with just because I'm on a plane, you know, 60 times a year and moving around. But I think like a lot of the things that I've done personally and stepped away from certain things in business and even circles, is to create more space so I could actually like invest in the things that matter, a relationship in the way that I would like to. Whereas before I, I, I don't think I always did that.

• 53:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, just going to take a quick break. I am telling you guys about quince, we're obsessed, August. Great time to start thinking about how you want to look ending the summer and go.

• 53:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Going into the fall. I mean, I am so excited about Quince cold weather items, the cashmere. I mean, we just love Quince linen and silk in the summer and cashmere in the winter. And then everything else they sell all year round in terms of the accessories, like the bags and whatnot. So if you don't know, but we've talked about this for so many years, Quince specializes in effortless, high quality essentials. So like we mentioned, the premium Mongolian cashmere sweaters, there's ultra soft organic cotton. Everything is so high quality. I was just like washed a sweater the other night and I was just like, I can't believe that this isn't pilling. I've had it for years. The washable silk, I'm so sick of wearing silk and having to take it to the dry cleaner. But when it's Quince, you don't have to do that. And they have amazing denim as well.

• 53:57Rayna Greenberg?

  Premium stretch denim starting at just $50, amazing fit. I have this exercise dress I wear all the time. The outfit that we travel in all the time is this fleece, sweats and sweatshirt. I have two sets. I just alternate them every single time I get on a plane. We just love it. Again, the prices are 50 to 80% less than similar brands. The prices are just incredible. You won't even believe it. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not the brand markup. And like we mentioned, it's not just apparel. There is also hotel quality bedding and bath, items, kitchen staples, essentials, thoughtfully designed furniture. Oh, who, Brittany, she got her couch on Quince.

• 54:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Mm hmm.

• 54:36Rayna Greenberg?

  And one of our friends just moved to New York and she got this amazing couch from Quince. So you guys can upgrade your everyday, download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash GGE. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. Shout out to Edmonton. That is Q U I N C E dot com slash G G E and definitely download that app for sure. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. So you guys know that they've been a partner of the show for years. And obviously Ashley and I are huge advocates for therapy and addressing anything that's going on in your life, whether it's anxiety, whether it's job changes, romantic changes, anything in your life. But I don't know if we ever actually talked about how much other people love this service.

• 55:18Rayna Greenberg?

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• 56:03Rayna Greenberg?

  So you're just going to answer a few questions, get matched with a therapist based on your needs. And again, switch anytime if it's not the right fit. So Ashley and I always recommend therapy. See the reviews, see what stands out and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com slash G G E. That's better H E L P dot com slash G G E.

• 56:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm going to throw you a curve ball, Dale. So you have, how many sisters?

• 56:23Speaker 01

  Four.

• 56:23Ashley Hesseltine?

  Four?

• 56:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, did we know this?

• 56:25Rayna Greenberg?

  No brothers, all sisters.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  No brothers, three older, one younger.

• 56:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  That's a lot of sisters. Like, are you close with all of them for the most part?

• 56:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm close with, with my entire family. I'm going to get in trouble if I rank them.

• 56:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  I was just kidding. I know. So three sisters is wild. How involved are they? Are they in your dating life? Do they approve and like women easily? Have they ever really not approved of a relationship? I gotta know the ins and outs.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  My young sister is, that's my ace. We communicate about a lot of things. She's definitely got her opinions. Ultimately, she just wants me to be happy. But she knows the ins and outs, but she'll also check me if I'm wrong. She'll be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get your shit together. Stop acting stupid. Yada, yada, yada. But if she's not feeling someone, oh, they're gonna know. Like they could be on FaceTime and I'm be like, you know, FaceTiming someone and I'm like, hey, I'll be right back. And she'll be like, take her with you.

• 57:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, my God. It's not, it's not the older ones as much as the younger?

• 57:20Speaker 01

  No, no, it's a, my younger one is, but she's just protective, right? And she knows, and she's seen the things I've gone through behind the scenes in relationships. So like where, you know, I, I feel like I've just taken like a high road or not created chaos. She's been with me through, through everything. So she's just very, very protective. But I love that, you know, she's that involved. But I also, at the same time, make my own decisions. You know, I don't, I don't share a lot of my personal stuff with all of my family for a very specific reason.

• 57:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, how would you even have the time? All these people?

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 57:52Ashley Hesseltine?

  A group Zoom.

• 57:54Speaker 01

  People want to like protect you, right? So I don't, I, I don't even talk too deeply with it. I have a select group of friends who I'll really dive into with it. But, uh, because everyone has an opinion, it can sway. And I believe like, if there's too many cooks in the kitchen, you don't even know like what the fuck's like.

• 58:09Ashley Hesseltine?

  But is it hard to get those sisters approval? Or are they pretty open? Or do you have to work for it?

• 58:14Speaker 01

  I think my family's like really accepting for sure. So I think if anyone, if they show up, if they invest time, easygoing, like across the board.

• 58:22Rayna Greenberg?

  That's good. Are they in South Dakota? Are they all over?

• 58:25Speaker 01

  So I've got two down in Georgia, in Atlanta, and the rest are in South Dakota.

• 58:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  So, but yeah, they're, they're, uh, I'd be getting texts and everything, or if they see something they don't like.

• 58:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  Have they been like, Dale, seriously, this, you can't.

• 58:37Rayna Greenberg?

  What do they think about the bachelorette?

• 58:41Speaker 01

  I mean, my sister was really excited, you know, right away, I think. But whenever, she also saw like all the stuff behind the scenes and like some of the stresses that went along with it. And she just, I think for her, she wished I hadn't gone on the show because like everyone goes on the ride with you, whether you like it or not.

• 58:56Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  And they don't know all the ins and outs. They don't know like the time you spend with your partner or whatever that they never see. But I think it was just a lot of stress on her. And it was also really tough for her to see like, you know, there's positive comments, but there's also negative.

• 59:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 59:12Speaker 01

  And like, that's really, really hard for anyone, you know, especially if they're, they're not used to that space. So.

• 59:18Rayna Greenberg?

  And it was during COVID. I think you had an even more captive audience than would at that time.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  It was the most viewed season in the history of the show.

• 59:24Rayna Greenberg?

  I mean, it deserved to be. It was psychotic.

• 59:27Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, we'll, we'll see what happens with Taylor Frankie Paul, but like.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  Are they gonna air it?

• 59:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, TMZ broke, well, by the time this airs, it will have started airing maybe.

• 59:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  But your five episodes, how many, do you remember how many?

• 59:38Speaker 01

  I was, I was four.

• 59:39Rayna Greenberg?

  Four episodes.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  We didn't even do the reunion. They, they did the reunion. Uh, we.

• 59:47Rayna Greenberg?

  Four episodes of Bachelor. Well, I couldn't believe what we were being served. It was insanity.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  But when you're in it, like I was there and I was like, I, I feel like I'm just like being myself. And sometimes like, cause there's times where people are so polished and put together and whatever, whatever. And I feel like I was just like, kind of being myself. And maybe I was like a little naive to like production and cuts and edits. But I was like.

• 1:00:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  They're like, Dale, you have to propose now. Okay. So I want to hear your feelings on reality TV. Are you done? Would you do more? I mean, you did Bachelor in Paradise after years, right? I've been in the franchise. That was like so fun for you to go back.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Uh, I made that decision last minute.

• 1:00:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  And honestly, and I've said this before, but like, I was really worried about being like emotionally numb after my relationship ended before the show.

• 1:00:31Ashley Hesseltine?

  Right.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  It took a lot out of me and I think I was legit concerned. I wasn't dating. I wasn't seeing people like that. And I really wanted to let go of control, also like just experience something and kind of put myself out there. You know, I have a role within the franchise over the last X amount of years. So it was cool to, you know, kind of dive in, but also from like an insecurity standpoint, I'll go back to that. But truthfully, like, I was like, oh, I'm going to stay away from Bachelor, you know, this or that, like, I'm done with that. But it was a fun experience. I have a lot of like friendships, relationships from the show is great. I've really like, my, my time on a dating reality show is definitely, definitely probably done. I think I've.

• 1:01:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  You've aged out?

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  Aged out, but also like, I've just moved on from a lot of other things.

• 1:01:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Would you say that breakup was the hardest, toughest breakup you've had? The one with, what we talked about that found you from our show?

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, without, without question.

• 1:01:24Ashley Hesseltine?

  We, I'm interested in how men handle breakups. I think I know how women do and we've been through that. But like, how did you work through that? Like what got you through? Like what advice do you have? You know?

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  I think the biggest thing with that, and I like, she's like, we're, we're on great terms. I know she's, you know, fine with me, touching base on it. But we like really loved each other.

• 1:01:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  We honestly had a really strong, like great relationship. But it was a, you know, pretty eye opening because we were both going through tough things in our personal lives and life at the same time, right? And when that happens, sometimes there can be a disconnect or you can develop resentment because. You're not able to meet someone else's needs or vice versa. And there was a lot of push pull. Eventually, like we truly cared about each other enough to say like, hey, we gotta, we gotta pause this because this is not who we are. This is not how we show up for each other. And it was tough. And I think the reason like it was so tough, you know, looking back at like that time is because we weren't bad people. We really loved each other, but like the dynamic just wasn't working. It wasn't sustainable. And like, that was really tough.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  It's like, you gotta separate, but you this is someone who you, you know, at the time, or like, you believe you'll spend the rest of your life with. Yeah, that one, like, that friggin rocked me.

• 1:02:38Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I mean, breakups are so hard when it's not like somebody doesn't cheat. They don't betray you in a really terrible way. Your friends don't hate them, you know? Yeah, there's nothing like so tangible, like, there's not an event that you hate a person. Like, this like, slow drip is really, it's tough. I want to validate it. It's like, really the worst breakups. And you're like, I do love this person. They're a good person.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. And, you know, I, I think back to, like, I'm a master compartmentalizer. I could have the worst thing in the world happen to me. It goes in the back of my brain. It's like, nothing ever happened. That's something that I would do a lot of times with like, loss in relationship. But like, this one, I, I, I made it like, I really let myself feel it.

• 1:03:17Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  And people saw me in a state that they'd never seen me before. But also, I saw a side of people that I had never seen before, because I allowed them to actually like, be there for me, which is something that typically I, I, I never would do.

• 1:03:29Rayna Greenberg?

  Do you feel like as a performer, I feel like she and I have to do that? Like, if something really bad happens to me, I have to get on stage. It doesn't matter. Like, do you feel like as a performer also?

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Like, a lot, right? So like, in, in my day to day, but I remember, like, there were times, like, I couldn't even control, I was like, I'm fucking done right now. But it was like, the best thing for me, like, growth wise, to let people support me when they could.

• 1:03:51Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  And it helped me move through it quickly. Like, you know?

• 1:03:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Totally.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, understood, like, this had to happen. It's just like, the point. But I moved through it, like, really quickly, rather than something dragging on. And also, like, I know I left nothing on the table. And I think we both felt that way. But yeah, you gotta feel it. Otherwise, you're, you're, you're not getting through it.

• 1:04:09Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, that's what women do. Women feel it, and we cry, and we get the pain out of our body. We talk about it incessantly with our friends and our family and our therapists. And men bottle it up, and then it comes out in these ways, various ways, you know, years down the road, or, you know, everybody knows the story, this guy who got his heart broken when he was twenty, early twenties, and he never-

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't, I don't understand. I mean, I'm not like shading anyone there. I just can't.

• 1:04:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, it's, what you did is healthy. It's just like, that's how you actually get through it. It's, I don't know, it's not with you forever, affecting your future relationships.

• 1:04:42Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, the male loneliness epidemic, like, you guys could help yourselves, you know, by talking about your feelings with each other, and instead of just like, drink it out, fuck it out.

• 1:04:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, that old, what is it? Get over, get, get under to get over, or whatever?

• 1:04:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, by getting under it?

• 1:04:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, everyone goes through their things, but like, yeah, you gotta work through your shit. And like, this is coming from someone who would bury stuff for years and years and years. And it affected me in a lot of ways that, you know, I just was causing myself so much more problems and, you know, issues than I needed to. Yeah, you gotta feel it, for sure.

• 1:05:12Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And then I always feel like that worst terrible breakup, you will never actually go through that again. I mean, hopefully, the next person you find, that will be your person forever. But it's just like, my breakup like that, I was like, I can get through this if it were to happen again. I like, know I have the strength. Like, the moments of like, despair, crying on the floor, I feel like I could die. I just think you do it once.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  That's like, like, so spot on. Because I hear a lot of people say, oh, I'm afraid of hurting someone, or I'm afraid of getting hurt. And I'm like, yo, after some of the things I've gone through, whether it was the loss of my mother, or like, some relationships, I was like, I can get through this shit, one way or another. It doesn't mean it's not gonna hurt, it's not gonna suck. But like, also, if you're gonna get to the levels you want in anything, you gotta be willing to go through some pain. Be willing for it to, to like, crash and burn at some point, and then pick yourself up. So, I've kind of embraced that. Like, let's go.

• 1:06:07Rayna Greenberg?

  The pain's just not gonna kill you. And I remember my first really bad breakup, the worst of my life. I, I thought I was gonna die from the pain. Like, it was just so bad, every single day. I just like, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't shower, couldn't leave the house. I was so depressed. And I pushed through it. Like, eventually, you don't think about it 100% of the time. You think about it 99% of the time. Like, that's a win. And you know you'll get better. And if you really have pain like that, and you lost a parent, like, you know that you can face other pain.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:06:34Rayna Greenberg?

  And, and overcome it.

• 1:06:35Ashley Hesseltine?

  I know. And people just, they're, they try to avoid it. And I, like, I can think of a, I don't know, I'm like, looking at a woman or a man even, and you're like, 30s, and they're just so scared to go through it. And it's like, it's coming.

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  Yo, you gotta go through it.

• 1:06:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  We will all get fucked up by that.

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm telling you, it fucked me up. Like, every, you, you have a bad breakup or whatever, but like, some of my friends, they, we'd be in a group, they'd be like, oh, don't fuck with Dale right now. He's on edge. He's, he's working through his problems right now. But they knew, like, I was like, whatever emotions were coming for, for, for a little while, like, you know, three, four weeks, like,

• 1:07:08Ashley Hesseltine?

  Stay away from Dale.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  Oh, it was all over. I was like, telling people, don't come visit me right now, because like, I, you're not gonna get the best version of me. Like, I gotta work through this, like,

• 1:07:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Were you leaning on like, guy friends?

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, it sounds like you have a strong circle of male friends, which is like, so healthy.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, my friend, like Duncan, who's a psychologist, but he worked with me through a lot, a lot of things. I worked, you know, we really, I've been very, very fortunate to have like, very emotionally intelligent men in my life. But also, like, even my father, like, we talked through things, like, my closest friends. And it, the funny thing is, like, in the moments where I was not expecting to open up, or I was, it was visibly like, I was, I was not okay. The amount of people who I didn't even have that relationship with, that came and like, kind of consoled or nurtured, or like, talked through things, and then they opened up about their situation. And like, our relationships and bonds got a lot tighter through that. But you have to like, let them help you or be there. You gotta let yourself kind of fall sometimes.

• 1:08:04Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that tightened my bond with a lot of people. But it also let me know that, like, whatever on a relationship, like, if it's the right person, I'm not afraid, like, going all in. Because worst case scenario, I'm gonna be all right at the end of the day.

• 1:08:20Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah. So we asked you, you wanted to talk about today, and one of the things you had written was that women have raised their standards, and it's just changed dynamics with relationships in general, and men, and how they have to show up. So let's talk about that a little bit.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think, like, literally, men, cars, credit cards, like, success, like, I think they've always banked on that as far as, like, almost like a personality trait and value. But, like, women are making more money than ever, a lot, like, than most men, right? Education, you're looking at, like, their position in the corporate world. So you have people who can provide for themselves, like, point blank, simple. So, what are you bringing to the table?

• 1:08:57Rayna Greenberg?

  The joke is like, all you can bring to the table is your personality now. So like, what do you got?

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  I mean, like, a supportive partner, an emotionally intelligent partner.

• 1:09:05Rayna Greenberg?

  That's part of the personality.

• 1:09:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, yeah, true, true, true.

• 1:09:06Speaker 01

  Oh, it, it really is. Like, they talk about, like, emotional intelligence and things like that. But I think, like, and in general, too, like, this is not like a control, like, I think about, back with like, my grandparents, my grandma never worked, and, you know, my grandpa, like, provided for everything. People were kind of tied to each other because they needed each other to even survive. Like, that's not the case anymore. And I also think, like, this old way of, like, thinking about masculinity, toughness, control, like, you gotta be tough and resilient and everything like that. But you don't have to bury everything. But it's also like a respect thing, right? Just how would you show up? And how, how do, how are you gonna treat people in your day to day? But yeah, I think, you know, there's been a big shift. And I think that's a big reason why women are now like, not choosing

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  men, where before, it's men choosing women.

• 1:09:53Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, what do you bring into the table? Yeah. I mean, the amount of incredible women I know that are single, I mean, there's such a disparity between incredible men that I know that are single, and incredible women. I mean, half of my girlfriends, a lot of them, almost all of them in New York, are successful, beautiful, interesting, they work out, they have hobbies, interests, they're talented, they're all single. And that, that's not the case for the men that I know. So women are choosing to just be solo.

• 1:10:17Speaker 01

  I've heard, it's like, so many, like, conversation, they're like, I don't even care if I'm dating right now, because like, the pool is so bad, or like, I'm, I'm good, I'm sufficient by myself, I don't need anyone for, so like, unless they're bringing something to the table, it's not worth my time.

• 1:10:31Rayna Greenberg?

  Also, I don't want to be like a man hater. Like, I think partnership is the most beautiful thing in the world. It enhances your life. It's the best feeling. Romantic love is the best feeling you could ever feel. But I think that women just have leaned back, and they've just said, like, if it costs me my peace, it's too expensive.

• 1:10:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  So you're like a natural provider, you said. Like, you kind of alluded earlier, that maybe in the past, you've maybe had a little bit of like, a savior complex. I'm not accusing you of that. But just in general, you, you know, wanting to like, provide, and now women don't need as much providing for. So have you thought about that? Like, kind of had to reconcile that? Because you want a strong, independent woman, but you also want to provide?

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I, I think, I think I look forward to it. Because I like, and I know how I should. Let's go, stop the podcast, let's get it.

• 1:11:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  I tried to say that other

• 1:11:18Rayna Greenberg?

  I know I I'm strong and independent, but I can be silenced and I am ready. You can pay my bills. Yeah, I don't need to pay my bills. I'm all set.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  Let me adjust how I sit real quick.

• 1:11:29Ashley Hesseltine?

  Maybe you should go on a date. Maybe you should bring your backpack. You guys should go on a date.

• 1:11:33Rayna Greenberg?

  Let's talk about that.

• 1:11:35Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay. Carol Williams Sanders. Let's talk about if you guys want on a date or not. Okay. Important to me. Eight years ago. You invited Ashley to what? By you, me, you at an event. It was a some premiere. It was a towel.

• 1:11:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  And then Ashley came with a backpack.

• 1:11:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that I I was just like, hey, like, come, like, let's hang. That's the thing. Like, sometimes I'll be like, I don't even consider like, is it a day? I just wanted to kick it.

• 1:12:00Ashley Hesseltine?

  Maybe she shows up with a purse or a backpack and then I'll know.

• 1:12:03Rayna Greenberg?

  Well, it was weird because if I had him like

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Backpack.

• 1:12:05Ashley Hesseltine?

  I'm like, I hope this is a date, but I have my backpack. Like, I don't know.

• 1:12:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, yeah, we met and then we had you on the podcast. Then you invited me to whatever it was. Some, it was the movie premiere after party or something.

• 1:12:17Speaker 01

  Towel.

• 1:12:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  And I'd been out all day. I don't know. I checked the backpack at Tao. Like, I don't know. And then I was like, yeah, I don't know. I didn't know what the vibe was, but we're friends.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, everything, everything worked itself out.

• 1:12:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I bought her a backpack for her birthday a couple of years ago, and it was a huge missed opportunity. I mentioned this.

• 1:12:33Ashley Hesseltine?

  We mentioned this in the podcast. It's been like, girls got to eat lore. Like, did Ashley and Dale go on a date? I don't know. You tell us. And then I would see sometimes in comments, like, if I would comment on your post, which, like, your post with your, your partner at the time, I'm like, you know, hyping you. I'm in support of it. And people would comment back to me five backpack emojis.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  You know what? I'm gonna, A, I need to get a red backpack. But I, like, truly, I, I just was, like, I just wanted to, like, kick it, like, get together, get to know you. I didn't consider it like a date or anything.

• 1:13:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Friendzone situation. I get it. It's fine. I'm married now, so don't even worry about it. Yeah.

• 1:13:07Speaker 01

  I wasn't, I wasn't dating, like, really anybody, honestly.

• 1:13:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, I'm like now where he's gonna pay my bills and he's just gonna hobble me.

• 1:13:15Ashley Hesseltine?

  We talk about this because I quote Kiki Palmer all the time with her saying, like, I want partnership, but I don't need a man's money. So that's not what I need from a man, but I need support and love. And like, I think of what my husband provides for me and like, he doesn't pay my bills. You know, like, I make more than him. This isn't like a secret. It's, that's not our dynamic. But like, what he does for me is, it's invaluable. Like, his support for me, like, I feel like I'm at the point where I can't, I can get through the day without him, but he just, like, supports me so much. Like, I am fine on my own. I was fine on my own for 40 years, but like, I do need him in a lot of ways, you know? And I would be fine without him, of course. And I

• 1:13:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I wouldn't. He is the best.

• 1:13:59Ashley Hesseltine?

  He does, he does a lot. He like, really supports me and he is like emotionally intelligent. He does all the things. So it's just like, I think some relationships have had to be shifted with a woman who doesn't need your, like, financial support, but she wants your, like, emotional support. And, you know, you can be there in that way. So.

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  I agree entirely. And like, acts of service is my thing. So like, I like doing the small things. And I think like nowadays, the small moments and the small things are so rare because people are moving and all these options, but they're the most important. So I've never had, like, a worry about how I can show up for someone. I look for someone who's driven, successful, who has a thing. I want to be able to support them in that and not by like, trying to like, be involved in every aspect of, like, the business, but just so like, I can go on that ride and like, be there with them. So that's not intimidating to me. I think like, for me, that's kind of like, the baseline. They don't have to be doing, like, the most elaborate thing. They just have to be like, really, really passionate about it and work hard on it. So, yeah, I mean, I, I look for that heavily.

• 1:15:06Rayna Greenberg?

  All right. Well, guys, if that, if you felt the bill, slide into Dale's DM.

• 1:15:11Ashley Hesseltine?

  I have a question for you. You travel all the time. You're always on the road. You're always in an airport bathroom. I'm taking a selfie. That's, that's his thing.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  It like popped off randomly. So I was like, let's just ride it.

• 1:15:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah. And so how do you make a partner feel secure in the relationship? Do you have to even think about it? Or is it natural to you? Like, do you have to kind of think, like, I need to be consistent and text or whatever it is because I'm gone all the time and?

• 1:15:34Speaker 01

  I make it a big point that even when I'm not there, like, they're a priority in the relationship. So that could be the text. That could be the, you know, a heart here. That could be this or that. Because I think a lot of times when there's separation, it's like you have your life when you're together. Obviously, there's some shifts when you're not. But like, as far as like insecurities about like what they're doing, or I've never really had anyone try to like, control my movements outside of like, maybe a few moments.

• 1:15:58Rayna Greenberg?

  I think different rules apply to different partners. And we've said this before, like, I think if somebody's with you and they feel like you want to be with them and you're intentional and you're trustworthy, then post your airport selfies.

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:07Rayna Greenberg?

  You know?

• 1:16:07Ashley Hesseltine?

  You just seem, I mean, you know, I've never dated you. So it's that one month, but like, you just, one night, one month, one night.

• 1:16:14Speaker 01

  It was a glorious night.

• 1:16:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  You seem like a solid partner. Like, is that the feedback you get mostly? Like,

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:20Ashley Hesseltine?

  I don't see you as like a, a woman wondering where she stands in a relationship with you.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like, I don't do well with gray area. And I think like in some of the relationships where, like, if there was gray area, I made it pretty clear that, like, I'm clear. I'm like, this might not be where it's at. So, and if I'm investing in someone, like, you're gonna know it. And I'm not afraid of, like, doing too much or all this stuff. Like, I'd rather do that than, than let them know where they stand and how I see them.

• 1:16:47Ashley Hesseltine?

  Ladies, he will love bomb you.

• 1:16:49Speaker 01

  I mean, even like picking up the phone and calling to talk to someone. Like, people are like, I, like, no one ever calls me. I've never experienced this.

• 1:16:55Ashley Hesseltine?

  I wanted to ask you this. I just saw a clip. You did a podcast recently. You said, like, you'd be calling people. They're like, what's happening?

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, I like to hear someone's voice and check in and like, yeah, there's this, but like, you know, pick up the phone. Like, I'm not trying to keep tabs on you. I, I just want to hear your voice and see how you're doing. And that's like such a foreign thing. Like, you're texting for like, a month at a time and like, you barely know the person's voice outside of a few times.

• 1:17:19Ashley Hesseltine?

  No, I want to get on the phone every single day. Only if we're sleeping together. Like, Ashley doesn't call me. Ashley, we've probably called each other. I don't know. It's an emergent. It's like a really serious.

• 1:17:27Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, we like really need to talk something through.

• 1:17:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  Like, something's really bad. Yeah. Have you, like, call, have you ever called someone and they're like, so flustered? Like, someone you're newly dating? Do you just call? Like, just?

• 1:17:37Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I mean, I think like, there's been times, like, I literally, I can hear it in their voice when, like, they're so shocked. Yeah, like, what the fuck is going on? Like, why are you calling?

• 1:17:45Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah, if she called me, I would be like, what happened?

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it's like texting and it's like, look, like, I'm just gonna pick up the phone. This is easier. And truly, like, they're shocked. Multiple people have said, I've never had a guy call me in the first, like, week or two. Like, all they do is text. And I'm like, just quick check in.

• 1:18:02Rayna Greenberg?

  I want to surprise FaceTime, but like, only if I'm sleeping with somebody. Everybody else, no. Right.

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  The FaceTime thing with anyone, like, no one has my location outside of like, I think, one person.

• 1:18:11Rayna Greenberg?

  Oh, really?

• 1:18:12Speaker 01

  It's not even like a hide thing. It's just like, because I don't look and see where my friends are. I have their location, but I never look at it. And like, the random FaceTimes.

• 1:18:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  You don't like a random FaceTime?

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  Sometimes. But as a whole, like, if it's like, all the time, like,

• 1:18:26Ashley Hesseltine?

  People randomly FaceTime. The only people, my brother with the, with my nephews is the only real FaceTime.

• 1:18:31Rayna Greenberg?

  My sister-in-law, my nephew.

• 1:18:32Ashley Hesseltine?

  My brother better FaceTime me.

• 1:18:34Rayna Greenberg?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, my sister, she FaceTimes me, like, go off and like, I mean, I, I think it also, like, if, you know, I'm in a relationship, FaceTime me, like, all you want, or just, you're probably gonna get, hey, is everything okay? I don't know. I just don't, like, the random FaceTimes are just one thing that.

• 1:18:48Ashley Hesseltine?

  Well, you're a millennial. Like, you're, in that you had to grow up calling girls on the landline, you know, and their dad could answer. And I think that's like a very millennial thing is like, we do want to talk on the phone, but like, the FaceTime generation is a little.

• 1:19:04Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, like, let's tap in. Like, what's up?

• 1:19:06Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, but we're long distance all the time.

• 1:19:08Rayna Greenberg?

  Like, today, like, like, when you're here.

• 1:19:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, I do. Yeah, like, you guys will FaceTime. It's like also like reminiscent of our previous long distance relationship. Like, so we

• 1:19:16Rayna Greenberg?

  So it's like hard to say.

• 1:19:17Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, like, are we doing it because it like brings us back? Or we really want to see each other?

• 1:19:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Okay.

• 1:19:22Speaker 01

  Oh, like, if you're seeing someone, that's, that's different.

• 1:19:24Rayna Greenberg?

  That's different. That's what I'm saying. Romantic relationships and your nieces and nephews.

• 1:19:28Ashley Hesseltine?

  And that's what it's, that's, thank you. Like, I don't really need to FaceTime my friends.

• 1:19:32Rayna Greenberg?

  No, when our friends FaceTime me, I don't want that.

• 1:19:35Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, usually you know, it's some random, like, other person who's on there that I probably don't want to talk to.

• 1:19:40Rayna Greenberg?

  Right.

• 1:19:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, right.

• 1:19:42Speaker 01

  Oh, I just got with this person.

• 1:19:44Ashley Hesseltine?

  You gotta meet a fan.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  Or like, oh, yeah, sometimes. And I'm like, hey, what's up? But like, can you like, just clear it before?

• 1:19:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Again?

• 1:19:53Speaker 01

  Or they're out like fucked up and it's like,

• 1:19:55Rayna Greenberg?

  I had a male comedian FaceTime me once and he was like, I want you to like, talk to these girls. I was like, you FaceTimed me to get pussy? Don't do that.

• 1:20:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  You have to do a meet and greet. Can't you just do this on your own?

• 1:20:08Speaker 01

  I've had people where they're like, will you take a picture with my, my wife? And I'm like, yeah, totally. Like, you know, it's, but it's, it's kind, right? But then he's like, dude, I'm gonna, I'm so gonna get laid tonight from this.

• 1:20:19Rayna Greenberg?

  That's crazy.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  This is fucking weird.

• 1:20:22Rayna Greenberg?

  Exactly.

• 1:20:24Speaker 01

  I swear. I swear. That's, I've had that happen like multiple times.

• 1:20:28Rayna Greenberg?

  I also forgot that you FaceTimed us during that Boston show.

• 1:20:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, when I called in.

• 1:20:34Ashley Hesseltine?

  So that's the night I met my husband, by the way.

• 1:20:35Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:20:36Ashley Hesseltine?

  That show was like, lives forever.

• 1:20:38Rayna Greenberg?

  It's a crazy show. That's the night that I met this guy that I wrote a whole comedy hour about.

• 1:20:41Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yeah, that was October 2021. We were all in costume. I was wearing like a taco because you have the whole taco costume.

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that goes way back.

• 1:20:52Rayna Greenberg?

  Is it Party City?

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, so I went in.

• 1:20:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Are you embarrassed by this, Dale?

• 1:20:55Speaker 01

  So I went in for something. I thought it was Broadway. Talk, the modeling industry, right? You could do like, something great. And then you have like, some random. And I walk in and they have all these costumes. I was like, what the fuck? And my agent's like, dude, just get through it. Like, they're paying you like, really well. It'll never see the light of day. And I'm like, because, and there's like multiple. I was like, I'm not doing that. I'm not, they had some weird shit in there. But the taco one.

• 1:21:16Ashley Hesseltine?

  Wait, so what year was this?

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  Twenty, whoa, probably seventeen.

• 1:21:21Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, so, yeah, so if you guys don't know what we're talking about, obviously Dale's a model. And these, once you kind of got fame on the reality TV, people found your old modeling photos from Party City, and you're wearing this taco costume, which I own.

• 1:21:34Speaker 01

  I own one as well. I'm not gonna lie. No, they sent it because they thought it was gonna be funny and I was gonna do this whole thing. And then I was like,

• 1:21:43Ashley Hesseltine?

  So these pictures came out, whatever. Bottom line is, that's what I dressed for that show in Boston. And we called you anyway. You know, you're fresh off The Bachelor. Yeah.

• 1:21:54Rayna Greenberg?

  Maybe we'll put a little clip of it in the episode. We have this great reel of us calling you and Ashley's in this taco costume and you pop up on stage and the audience goes berserk.

• 1:22:02Ashley Hesseltine?

  Insane.

• 1:22:03Speaker 01

  I remember that.

• 1:22:04Ashley Hesseltine?

  Answered. She shocks the audience. Like, I can't compete with this.

• 1:22:10Ashley Hesseltine?

  I came here to try to meet this girl. She's FaceTiming other guys in front of me.

• 1:22:14Rayna Greenberg?

  This guy would fall in love with his filming it. Like, it's really crazy.

• 1:22:18Ashley Hesseltine?

  Yes, exactly. It was so funny. Well, Dale, this is so lovely.

• 1:22:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, this was amazing.

• 1:22:22Ashley Hesseltine?

  Thanks for coming back on. And tell everybody, whatever you want to plug, like, can you direct people to try to get on the app or?

• 1:22:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you, you can see things I'm doing on social media, Instagram, a little bit on TikTok, but A-Team, truly, I think that we're, we're building something that's gonna change the way that people connect. A-Team.co, you can download it in the App Store and A-Team.co on Instagram. So, and we're launched here in New York City. It's, it's hit right now.

• 1:22:49Ashley Hesseltine?

  Do you know Bobby? You do?

• 1:22:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, Bobby Westside.

• 1:22:51Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay. Well, I just feel like Adonis.

• 1:22:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, Adonis and everything.

• 1:22:54Ashley Hesseltine?

  Okay, I love this.

• 1:22:55Speaker 01

  We're gonna work on some stuff together here pretty soon.

• 1:22:57Ashley Hesseltine?

  Oh, great. Okay. Well, you guys know where to find us. girlsgottaeat.com, GirlsGotEatPodcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Raina is Rayna Greenberg, RainaGreenberg.com for her tour tickets. You can watch full video on Spotify or YouTube. Watch this one for sure on video. We recommend it. Share with a friend and we will see you guys Thursday.

• 1:23:13Rayna Greenberg?

  Have a good week, guys.

• 1:23:13Ashley Hesseltine?

  Bye.