Pod Insights Call Her Daddy Podcast Sarah Jessica Parker: How Carrie Bradshaw Changed Me About this episode Join Alex in New York City for an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker! SJP talks all about Sex and the City, the show’s iconic fashion, how her dating life compared to Carrie’s, and how playing this part ultimately changed her as a person. She also opens up about her childhood, dealing with insecurities, and her complicated relationship to fame. Enjoy!
Transcript 13,026 words · 2 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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3:02 Speaker 01 What is up Daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.
3:10 Alex Cooper? Sarah Jessica Parker, welcome to Call Her Daddy.
3:13 Speaker 01 Thank you, Alex. Thank you for having me.
3:16 Alex Cooper? No, thank you for being here. You don't even know. I, when I started Call Her Daddy, you were beyond, beyond, beyond, obviously, the inspiration. And then when I started interviewing people, you have been at the top, top, top of the list to sit down with. So thank you for being here.
3:32 Speaker 01 Oh my gosh, thank you. Thank you for having me and especially in New York City, because I know it's not your home, home.
3:39 Alex Cooper? But it was at one point.
3:41 Speaker 01 And you're, is it true that you're maybe coming back or is that just some wishful, hopeful rumor?
3:47 Alex Cooper? It's a rumor. No, you know what? Every time I get here, I feel like I'm alive again. Not that I'm like dead in LA.
3:53 Speaker 01 No, but it has a certain kind of, it's a very dynamic city and it's sort of, it does that to people when they step off the plane, which is really curious because I think Los Angeles actually actively does the opposite. It sort of.
4:11 Speaker 01 It's just a quieter, less intrusive city on a person.
4:16 Alex Cooper? Completely. I feel like I'm like entering my spa era when I go to LA and then I come here and I'm like, where are we going to dinner? What's going on? The night starts at midnight. That's why you earlier were like, oh, did you have a late night?
4:27 Speaker 01 Well, didn't your, did your documentary, so how did it go and what was the experience and how was it to, I'm sure you've seen it already.
4:35 Alex Cooper? Yes, it was so nerve wracking.
4:37 Speaker 01 Was it really?
4:38 Alex Cooper? I'm sure you know, like even as you've been in media for so long, when you put out a piece of work that's just a little bit different than you're used to, or even coming back, right? Like you're like, it just feels, you're anxious because you want people to like it.
4:51 Speaker 01 Yes.
4:51 Alex Cooper? But I feel really hopeful that people will perceive it in a positive way. And so it was great. But I'm going to be honest, I was like, okay, now I'm going to interview Sarah Jessica Parker. So everybody, I'm going to bed. I'm putting my face mask on. Don't talk to me. So I'm happy to be here with you.
5:07 Speaker 01 Well, you're no worse for wear. You look great.
5:09 Alex Cooper? You look amazing too.
5:10 Speaker 01 And I'm glad the night was, felt good and felt the way you hoped it would feel. Yeah, it's a big deal.
5:16 Alex Cooper? Us talking about LA versus New York, you obviously live here. You're a tried and true New Yorker. What is your favorite part of living here?
5:24 Speaker 01 I really feel like when I walk out the door, anything can happen and, and there are degrees of that being good and potentially awful.
5:34 Alex Cooper? Yes.
5:35 Speaker 01 You're bumping into neighbors and you're bumping into the familiar, but every single day I'm having an exchange with or physically touching somebody who might never be on that street again. You know, and I, I really, really love that. And I always have. There were these two young fellas. I came out of our house yesterday and
6:02 Speaker 01 stoops are a thing in New York and just because you own one doesn't mean it's yours. It's everybody's stoop. And I said, I spent decades sitting on other people's stoops and in my head, I dreamed one day, I hope I can have a stoop. And so every time we come home and there's people on our stoop, people always move their stuff really quickly because they realize they're, they're in the path or, and I'm always like, no, no, no, stay, stay, stay. But yesterday I came out and there were two boys standing at the, at the foot of the stoop and there was a penny heads up on the last step of the stoop. And I said, fellas, there's a penny heads up. Why are you not taking, grabbing this penny?
6:46 Speaker 01 I guess my point of the story is I would have had no other reason to talk to these guys on the street, smoking pot. You know what I mean? Like, they were just there and having a mo- like, they were in between something and chatting. And, um, you know, I like imposed myself on them, but it was definitely, um, a friendly exchange and they were sort of like, I think they felt like a friendly reprimand or something. But that would never happen if I had gotten out of, if I got out of my house, I walked out of my house and I walked into garage and I got into a car and I drove down the street. I just wouldn't have, I don't know if that's something that other people might like, but I do.
7:25 Alex Cooper? You're like, I love people just like loitering in front of my house. It's fabulous. Hold on, did they know who you are?
7:31 Speaker 01 Yes, they, they did. They, um, it was like a slow burn, but, um, our initial, our initial exchange was just three, three people, two of whom were not strangers, what I was the stranger to them. And I said to them, fellas, look down, like, don't walk around just here or here. Um, look down for your penny.
7:57 Alex Cooper? They're like, Sarah Jessica, we're high. Like, babe, I'm too high. I'm not even looking at the goddamn penny. So did you pick it up?
8:03 Speaker 01 I, I picked it up and I, I felt like maybe if they saw my enthusiasm for it, they would, they would pick up and next time they'd be all the wiser for it.
8:15 Alex Cooper? I think they will. I think they will.
8:17 Speaker 01 I don't know.
8:34 Alex Cooper? Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ross. Fall is about finding pieces you love, making them your own and creating looks and spaces just right for the season, whether you're updating a small apartment. Or a spacious home drawn to timeless neutrals or bold seasonal touches. Ross makes it easy to imagine what's next and bring your fall vision to life. Ross makes fashion accessible to all with up to 20 to 60% off other retailers prices on the brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at rossstores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. If your money is scattered across five different apps you never open, you're not in control. Your money should move you forward.
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11:15 Alex Cooper? You have quite literally been seen on subways, walking around the city. You're one with the people in New York City. Like, everyone knows that. How? Like, how are you just like, walking to your local deli and not getting attacked?
11:31 Speaker 01 I mean, people always say hello and they talk or they nod. I have headphones. I'm not convinced that really does anything. I have sunglasses, but I always have worn sunglasses. It doesn't really, there's still
11:47 Speaker 01 activity on the subway. People chat and talk, but I will say, people are so much more on their phones now.
11:53 Alex Cooper? They're not looking at you.
11:54 Speaker 01 You're not quite as, on the subway, if I talk, people hear my voice.
12:01 Alex Cooper? That's similar to me, where my voice is more recognizable. That I am always like, I'll be in an elevator with my husband and he'll be like, what do you want to do? And I'm like, Matt?
12:10 Speaker 01 Later.
12:11 Alex Cooper? Later, honey, later. Wait, when you have your headphones on, are you actually listening to something?
12:17 Speaker 01 Always.
12:18 Alex Cooper? What are you listening to?
12:19 Speaker 01 Oh, my gosh.
12:20 Alex Cooper? Putting you on the spot.
12:21 Speaker 01 Everything, podcasts, lots of music.
12:29 Speaker 01 Mostly podcasts. I don't listen to books on audio. It'd be podcasts or music, yeah.
12:37 Alex Cooper? And are you faking phone calls?
12:41 Speaker 01 I've almost never done that.
12:45 Speaker 01 I think I've done it more with my children. When I was outside recently and I knew that they wanted to talk to me and I needed to do something and I, but then I thought, oh, you know, there's a right and wrong way to do this because the phone, if you're actually on a call, the phone looks one way. The screen looks one way. And if you're not, I think it's all just visible.
13:06 Alex Cooper? Yes.
13:07 Speaker 01 I do have a privacy screen on my phone.
13:09 Alex Cooper? Okay, that helps. And pro tip, you need to put it on do not disturb and you need to angle it towards your chin. I fake phone calls all the time, all the time. You just tilt it so no one can see that you're like, fully on your photo album and there's no phone call happening.
13:23 Speaker 01 Okay, great.
13:23 Alex Cooper? Yeah, I got you.
13:24 Speaker 01 So it's always on do not disturb and do not disturb just doesn't allow for like, a lighting situation. Got it. Okay.
13:32 Alex Cooper? Can we talk about fashion?
13:33 Speaker 01 Sure.
13:34 Alex Cooper? Because.
13:36 Alex Cooper? I was about to say, we need to talk about my shoes. I have, I don't usually dress up for interviews.
13:41 Speaker 01 You look so beautiful.
13:43 Alex Cooper? Thank you.
13:44 Speaker 01 Really. And your hair is down and your hair is not in a pony or a clip or I know I'm so touched.
13:52 Alex Cooper? I love that you walked in and you're like, wait, I'm dressed down and you're dressed up.
13:55 Speaker 01 I know. I felt like I went through three outfits.
13:57 Alex Cooper? You look perfect.
13:58 Speaker 01 Before I came here, trying to telepathically guess what would be appropriate. And then ultimately I realized, oh, the more I'm trying to be something else, I'm, I, I look like an idiot.
14:14 Alex Cooper? You dressed down as me dressed up. Unless you showed up in sweats, I'd be like, okay, you got it. So these shoes, I have never worn open toed heels on Call Her Daddy, ever, ever in the history of ever. And I probably never will.
14:27 Speaker 01 Lovely on you.
14:28 Alex Cooper? Well, thank you, but it's just an ode to Miss Carrie Bradshaw. They are the shoes that you wore in the show, Running to the Ferry.
14:35 Speaker 01 Yes, yes.
14:36 Alex Cooper? This outfit was also loosely inspired by the green jersey.
14:39 Speaker 01 I remember it.
14:40 Alex Cooper? With the cargo. I was like, I have to recreate it.
14:43 Speaker 01 I, I, I knew the minute I saw it and I don't actually remember a lot, but I remember outfits and cross streets.
14:53 Alex Cooper? Outfits and cross streets.
14:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:54 Alex Cooper? I didn't know if you would know the Jimmy Choo's and the minute for everyone that didn't see this moment, she literally walks in the door. She goes, hi, I'm Sarah Jessica. Oh my gosh, I love the shoes. I can't believe you're wearing the shoes. Like, thank God she noticed.
15:07 Speaker 01 It was such a clever thing that Jimmy Choo just reissued. Was it 2007?
15:12 Alex Cooper? Yes.
15:12 Speaker 01 2008? I can't remember the year of that line of, yeah.
15:15 Alex Cooper? I got you, girl.
15:16 Speaker 01 Those are really pretty shoes and um, my original pair, we had two pairs for that episode because I lost one. Um, and I was running so much in them that they were getting trashed. So they had a backup pair. The pair that I wore has. The glue under the feather has yellowed. We pull them out all the time to have them on the show now because they're always like in the closet moving around. And we have a new pair, but the new pairs of like we have the unused pair, but it's of little interest to me because it has like no sentimental value. So but when I saw fresh pairs, I was like, wow.
16:01 Alex Cooper? They do look good.
16:02 Speaker 01 That's what it's like with a fresh pair.
16:04 Alex Cooper? But I bet the yellow glue is even sexier.
16:06 Speaker 01 It's pretty touching.
16:07 Alex Cooper? Yeah, I think so too. I'm going to add that to mine later. Pretend I was there. Feel something. The iconic looks that you've had. How involved were you in Carrie's style?
16:17 Speaker 01 I think Pat and Molly would probably characterize this the same way. It was it was always a real conversation and I I'll try to paint a picture. I'd come to a fitting. It would be 11 o'clock at night at wrap or it could be two in the afternoon and the fittings could be anywhere from two to five hours and that wouldn't always cover an episode. So I would walk in, there were racks of clothes and that those the quantity of racks grew and grew over the years. Initially, nobody loaned us anything. We couldn't get our hands on anything. We had, I think, $10,000 originally per episode as a budget.
17:00 Speaker 01 So I'd walk in and there would be racks of clothing and there would be ideas set per scene, per episode, and we would talk about it. They'd show it to me and I always tried everything on. I don't I didn't care how ridiculous or whimsical or even hideous it was that the joy it would bring the costume department to just see something on as, you know, could be some crazy jumpsuit that they pulled out of someone's bin or basement from 1971 and it was like ill shaped and sort of unattractive, but there was something great about it. Lot of Polaroids. So we work so but then, once we kind of figured out
17:41 Speaker 01 what we liked per scene and we knew that it fit with perhaps other people's fittings if someone else had fit before me, we knew their colors, we would talk about it and then we would show the pictures to Michael or Darren, the showrunner. Initially, it was Darren. And then they'd have feelings. They'd come back and we'd talk about it and we'd plead our case in some instances where they didn't want us to wear something and we had to sort of. You know, our case before the court. But more and more so was is the case that it's just big conversations and it usually starts about three months before we're shooting, even two months prior to prep. Molly and I are already figuring out.
18:23 Speaker 01 So I started my fittings in February for this season and we started shooting in April.
18:28 Alex Cooper? And your whole life, were you a big fashion girl? Or did this happen because of the show?
18:34 Speaker 01 I I wasn't somebody that.
18:39 Speaker 01 My mother really loved beautiful clothing and we didn't have money to have beautiful clothing, but she was very industrious and we lived in a wealthy neighborhood. We were like the least wealthy people, the affordable house. And, you know, in those days, church tag sales and she was really smart about getting her hands on beautiful things for little or no money. So in our home, she liked beauty and she made some of her clothes. She could sew. So I grew up understanding that
19:16 Speaker 01 things were worthy, things were beautiful, things were well made, things were good quality fabric, things were hard to find. That, you know, that paffeta or that file would be very expensive by the yard. And so I understood it, but I didn't have my hands on a lot of it. And then when I started living on my own, I would still see things in New York City that I understood to be good, but I didn't, or even important, but I didn't necessarily have the financial opportunity to get my hands on them. And I was pretty strict about.
19:57 Speaker 01 Sort of what I thought would have a life.
20:00 Alex Cooper? I was thinking about it because I saw recently online, it was a part of an interview you did. And you talked about how you negotiated in your contract that you got to keep every single one of Carrie's outfits and you have it archived. I'm like, Sarah Jessica, how the hell did you pull that off? And it's from episode one?
20:18 Speaker 01 It's from episode one, yeah. It's, you know, I will, none of the credit is mine because previous to Sex and the City, I started working with a new attorney before I even met my husband. So about 35 years ago. And one of the most important things he said to me, outside of the fact that I think he's a terrific businessman and a great and fair attorney, is that from the beginning of our relationship, he said, you should always keep your clothing, no matter what it is. And he said, some studios are going to be harder to negotiate with about that because they like to have their own archive and that makes sense. And he was totally right. There are studios that really want to hang on to stuff. So it's a very complicated dance to get your pieces.
21:01 Speaker 01 But so by the time I was doing Sex and the City, it was just in my contract that I have everything. I mean, with the exception of something that a designer loaned us that needed to go back or a consignment piece from a vintage shop. But often those same designers would end up saying, just keep it, have it be part of that archive. So yeah, it's a huge amount.
21:23 Alex Cooper? How often do your daughters ask to borrow clothes?
21:26 Speaker 01 You know what? So many people rightfully ask that. They just don't.
21:30 Alex Cooper? They don't?
21:31 Speaker 01 No, they, they're not.
21:33 Alex Cooper? Girls.
21:35 Speaker 01 They like clothing and I'll get a text a couple of times a month asking, can they purchase something there? But they mostly, they mostly buy their clothes used, almost entirely, which I think is pretty common now with girls, young women their age, they'll be 16 later this month. So they're pretty steady. They don't tend to be trend, they don't move toward that. They know they don't have a budget. They don't have money with the exception of what they've earned. And one of them is a little bit better at earning than another who's pretty, she saves pretty well. They both had jobs last summer.
22:18 Alex Cooper? Do they ask for fashion advice?
22:20 Speaker 01 They'll ask me.
22:23 Speaker 01 They'll ask me, you know, what do you think of that? Or what about this dress for this occasion? Um, maybe they'll ask about shoes. My shoes don't fit them. It's really a tragedy. I'm actually not kidding. I find it really tragic that
22:36 Alex Cooper? Wait, that's actually the worst.
22:38 Speaker 01 They can't. One of them can sort of
22:42 Alex Cooper? Squeeze.
22:42 Speaker 01 Squeeze. Um, but their taste is different than mine right now, too. Like what I have is not necessarily of interest. They've never seen the show. So they haven't an idea about what is available to them yet. But I do give, I give them stuff of mine all the time, all the time.
23:03 Alex Cooper? I think that makes sense though, because I think back to my own mother and well, also my mom is not you. So love you Lori, if you're watching this, but my mom was like way more like polo and Bermuda shorts. And like, that's not going to cut it for me. I want something glamorous. But as I got a little older, I started to really appreciate like her vintage Levi's.
23:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:22 Alex Cooper? So maybe eventually, who knows, they will eventually like tap into the Carrie Bradshaw archive and be like, I need a, not maybe a dress for prom, still not that age, but maybe in their twenties, they're gonna hit it.
23:35 Speaker 01 Yeah. And I would loan, I, I think I'd be happy to loan them anything out of my closet right now. I don't really have as many clothes as people think.
23:43 Alex Cooper? What is a piece from Carrie's closet that you still wear today?
23:47 Speaker 01 Nothing. I keep, I keep in my personal closet, which everything else is an archive. I keep this belt, um, that I named Roger, and I don't know why. It's a belt from later years, episodes. It's a studded leather belt that Carrie wore a lot, a lot, a lot. And it was, I think,
24:12 Speaker 01 in the movie and it's reappeared. Carrie, you know what? I think Carrie first, first wore it when she was shopping in, um, DVF store in the meatpacking and she had on a pink linen shift and around her waist was a hard leather belt, a vintage belt that's, you know, about this wide. And it's studded and it's really old and hardy. It's like a muscle. And for some reason I have that. I never I never sent that to archive. Yeah.
24:42 Alex Cooper? What? You don't know why you called it Roger?
24:45 Speaker 01 I think we were reaching for it so much, which happens in fittings where something becomes like a favorite. And it just kept being right for everything. And so I don't know why I named it Roger. I just, it just seemed easier and more efficient to everyone know instead of saying the black leather with the studs and just Roger.
25:04 Alex Cooper? Roger.
25:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:05 Alex Cooper? Grab Roger. How is your personal style different from Carrie's?
25:09 Speaker 01 Very. Not nearly as brave.
25:14 Speaker 01 Not as
25:17 Speaker 01 kind of not as
25:20 Speaker 01 conscious about body and what clothes, how clothes lay on a body, um, which I guess has to do more with, like I said, being brave and just access to way more like a much more, I always say it's like she has a much more fevered relationship to fashion than I have. So she just has so much more. It's so decadent. The amount of things.
25:47 Alex Cooper? Yes.
25:48 Speaker 01 You know, pieces and layers and hats and belts, shoes, obviously, um, coats, gloves. And I, I just don't have that, you know?
26:03 Alex Cooper? When you were referencing earlier that your kids don't really lean into trends. This is a very pressing question.
26:10 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, I hope I'm capable of answering it.
26:12 Alex Cooper? You've got this. You've got this. There is no right or wrong answer.
26:14 Speaker 01 Okay.
26:15 Alex Cooper? Okay. Sarah Jessica Parker, would you put a Labubu on your designer bag?
26:22 Speaker 01 What is that?
26:24 Speaker 01 Oh, my God, you guys are laughing at me.
26:25 Alex Cooper? No, no, no.
26:25 Speaker 01 Wait, hold on a second. What is? Wait.
26:28 Alex Cooper? I just want you to know I don't own one of these, so don't judge me. Someone put this on my bag earlier.
26:33 Speaker 01 Oh.
26:34 Alex Cooper? So this is.
26:35 Speaker 01 Are these like
26:37 Speaker 01 dolls? They look like, um, Cupid dolls.
26:40 Alex Cooper? So people are buying these things? Again, clarifying, I've never bought one.
26:43 Speaker 01 Okay. Did someone send them to you?
26:45 Alex Cooper? Someone in this room owns them. We're not gonna judge.
26:47 Speaker 01 No, no, no, I'm not judging at all. It's a curiosity. It's like, uh, it's like an archaeology, like a dig.
26:54 Alex Cooper? So people are buying these for extremely high price. People are waiting in line for hours to get these things.
27:01 Speaker 01 Do you think, do you feel comfortable telling me what you think one of them costs? Like, is that a product?
27:04 Alex Cooper? For now, it's going higher because there's so few that people are trying to get these. Would you ever put this on your bag? You can be honest, because I wouldn't.
27:12 Speaker 01 I think I wouldn't, but not because I'm better than that and not because I'm above it. I just.
27:18 Alex Cooper? It's not your style?
27:19 Speaker 01 I don't think I ever hung a lot from a bag, even when scarves started being tied around bags.
27:27 Alex Cooper? People are adding things to bags and chains a lot, but you've never been a chain adding bag girl. Okay, so SJP is not putting a LaBooBo on a purse.
27:36 Speaker 01 But, once again, not because I don't care for it or think it's silly. Everybody do what you want.
27:46 Speaker 01 Do what you want. Yes. And now, how long has this been happening, this LaBooBo thing?
27:50 Alex Cooper? It's a new trend, for sure. I would say this past month, it's really popped off. People have had it for a little bit, but it's really
27:56 Speaker 01 You just said something. Did you say popped off?
27:58 Alex Cooper? Popped off. Yes.
28:00 Speaker 01 So that means.
28:02 Alex Cooper? Like, really became big.
28:04 Speaker 01 Like a thing. Okay, viral?
28:10 Alex Cooper? Yes, mom. Pop off queen. Oh, my god. Okay. Um, let's go back for a second. You mentioned, obviously, your mom and where you guys lived. Everyone obviously knows you as a New York girl, but you're from Ohio.
28:23 Speaker 01 Yes, I moved to New York when, um, on January 1st of 1977. So I was 11 or 12. Yes.
28:29 Alex Cooper? What was your hometown like?
28:31 Speaker 01 Cincinnati, wonderful. We go back to Cincinnati all the time. It is a very impressive, exciting city.
28:38 Alex Cooper? Okay, I'm gonna just take your word for it.
28:39 Speaker 01 Beautiful. It's beautiful.
28:41 Alex Cooper? Done.
28:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:42 Alex Cooper? Seven siblings?
28:43 Speaker 01 Yes, I'm one of eight.
28:45 Alex Cooper? What was the dynamic like in your house? Like, was it chaotic ever?
28:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, it was chaos all the time. It was, my mother amazingly survived. My mother just. It was a military operation without any of the, um, infrastructure. So she was really, um.
29:05 Speaker 01 Strict and scary and had very high standards and I'm gonna, I'm gonna use the phrase that she yelled, but as a parent, I can now recognize that it wasn't yelling. It's the, it's the level you need to speak at when you're trying to organize packs of people and get people wrangled. Um, but it was, you know, a messy house, a loud house. Um, it was really funny and there was always a record on or music or the news. And yeah, like always.
29:45 Alex Cooper? Something.
29:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, always noise, always.
29:49 Alex Cooper? Can you describe yourself as a kid?
29:51 Speaker 01 Very curious. I would probably say that I was nosy as well. Like I wanted to, I wanted to hear and know everything. I stared a lot of people. Like I was always looking at everybody. Um, I, I liked any new thing. I liked any chance to get out of the house. I loved going to the theater. Cincinnati has a really incredible theater called the Playhouse in the Park. And my father was a stage manager there, so we went to a lot of theater and University of Cincinnati, um, their conservatory has an incredible theater department.
30:35 Speaker 01 We went to the ballet all the time. Like there was a lot of opportunities to be outside, like literally and psychically.
30:44 Alex Cooper? Eventually you get to New York City. Can you tell me though, like, once you really start working and acting in your early days, what was the hardest lesson you had to learn in those like kind of beginning big days?
30:59 Speaker 01 of acting. You just don't get the job. You don't get the job. You just audition and audition and audition and audition and you don't get the job and it's. There's something about it that's very bleak sincerely.
31:14 Speaker 01 But it's. The very best thing that can happen to you and I know people kind of. Frame all conversations about building a career that way and it's probably true across industries.
31:27 Speaker 01 There's a lot of virtue that we put on failure and I'm not quite talking about failure. I'm talking about.
31:37 Speaker 01 Getting better at trying, getting better at auditioning, plain and simple in my case, just. Being better at it, maybe being more prepared, maybe being more comfortable. Better certainly at not getting the job and having it not.
31:53 Speaker 01 Like crater you.
31:57 Speaker 01 So the biggest lesson. I got from those early days is. Yeah, you pick yourself up and you move on and in my case. You know. I didn't have. Like I needed to support myself. By the time I was really on my own, which I I moved out when I turned eighteen. I had a little money in the bank from square pegs, but. Not a big amount. I knew exactly how much money I had in the bank and I took it out like. Very judiciously. I I tried to get by on forty dollars like for three days. Because I just didn't know for sure. I knew I would work. But.
32:37 Speaker 01 The investment, the ten auditions for the one job or the twenty, but I just simply think it's really good for us and I feel like you're. So much more equipped even to have this conversation because. You're constantly talking to people your age and younger about. How to pursue something. And have it be meaningful. And the difference between that.
33:02 Speaker 01 And pursuing success. And there's this big chasm that exists between creating a career and having that be your destination and having your destination being success or fame or wealth. And I think they're at odds.
33:18 Alex Cooper? Yes, I agree. There's a lot of times where when you're talking about getting rejected essentially in these moments, which is so hard, when you love something and something is your true passion. Yes, of course, everyone has an ego and it's going to sting. But a lot of times you can turn it around and self motivate again to be like, I'm gonna just keep going because this is the thing I want so badly, which I know in your case, like with Broadway and all of it, like, this is who you are to the core. You've wanted this. You want to be performing, right?
33:46 Speaker 01 Right. Performing, but not famous.
33:49 Alex Cooper? Exactly.
33:49 Speaker 01 Performing, but not rich. Performing, but not wealthy. Performing, but not powerful. Like, none of that used to exist as, um, as something you worked toward. Now, I'm not speaking for everybody, but I don't recall any conversation ever for the majority of my youthful career, when I was building one, that I heard anybody talk about fame or any of the collateral stuff that accompanies that. And, um, I just feel like it was healthier for all of us, you know? And, and I don't not, I'm not entirely sure I understand what
34:31 Speaker 01 all the other stuff really adds. I mean, there's security and financial gain. There is so much and it's
34:38 Alex Cooper? Yes.
34:39 Speaker 01 such a relief to be able to pay your bills. But I don't know.
34:43 Alex Cooper? No, I will add to that. I think a lot of people, one, it is way, there is more ability to get fame nowadays. It's, it's almost like, it's quite accessible, especially with the internet. And I think, yes, it's almost like take finances out of it. Of course, money can help in so many ways. Like, that is obvious. But fame as a concept, I actually think it's the rise and people getting to it that they think it's going to solve something within themselves. And if you probably ask anyone with fame, how do you feel about the fame? Everyone's gonna be like, well, I actually love my job, but I hate that part of it.
35:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:23 Alex Cooper? So it's almost like, once you get to that top, don't, if you're going for the fame, you're not gonna actually feel fulfilled, because there's actually nothing within fame.
35:31 Speaker 01 Yeah. And it's too elusive. You can't, it's unreliable. It's fickle.
35:38 Speaker 01 But I feel like we both have to be so careful. Like, there's nothing wrong with wanting to have people know who you are. And I, and I think it, all the water, all the water is like very muddied.
35:49 Alex Cooper? Yes, you then eventually got fame. Let's talk about Sex and the City.
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37:35 Alex Cooper? Let's talk about Sex and the City. What was your first impression of Carrie Bradshaw?
37:41 Speaker 01 I really liked her. I mean, I was, I would say more than even liking her. I, I just found it very compelling. All I had was the pilot script. I did know who Candace was because I was a New Yorker and I knew about her column in The Observer. We all knew that paper because it was pink, which is unusual for, that's a broadsheet, I think. But, and somebody had sent me the book and I don't know why. So I was familiar with her work. The script was pretty slight, like it wasn't a long pilot. But first of all, the way she was speaking, like her choice of language.
38:23 Speaker 01 I'd never seen or heard a woman talk like that. And there was a kind of darkness to the pilot script that I thought was very exciting to imagine. And there's the last moment as described, almost entirely in stage direction is she meets this fellow big. He gives her a ride. He says, hey, can I give you a ride? They, they have a sort of flirty, slightly withholding conversation in the back of a town car. I miss a town car. And do you know what a town car is?
39:03 Alex Cooper? Yes, I do.
39:03 Speaker 01 Oh, you guys don't know what a town car is, do you? If you saw it, you two would be.
39:10 Alex Cooper? It's cute.
39:11 Speaker 01 Um, and he, he asks Carrie, you know, have you ever been in love? And she says something flippant to him about, I don't remember what she says. And he drops her off at her apartment and she gets out and the cameras, as described, I think in the pilot script, the camera stays on Carrie and she walks toward her apartment door. And she quickly turns around and she goes up to the window and she knocks on the window like with her knuckles. And he, he reels it down and she says, have you ever been in love? And he says, can I curse?
39:46 Alex Cooper? Please.
39:47 Speaker 01 He says, absa fucking lutely. But he doesn't say it like that. He says it beautifully. He says, absa fucking lutely. And she turns around and walks back to her door, her door. And his car, I think, pulls away in the background and the camera just freezes on her. And I was like, well, now we got a story. And I just was like, well, where could this, where could it possibly end? You can just, whether these two together or separately, there's so much, it felt to me that there was a huge amount there.
40:23 Alex Cooper? I have chills. You just describing that, I'm like, okay. Like, it was perfect. Um, what did you admire the most about her?
40:32 Speaker 01 Her kind of candor, her curiosity about sex and sexual politics, which is not like me. I don't talk about that at all, even with friends. I, I'll talk about it globally, but not, I don't sit and share intimate details of my life that way. Um, I liked that she was sort of circumspect about when she wrote that she had a kind of thing about, this was what happened and how, well, how does it relate to the world? How does it relate to other women? And I, I admired that she was scrappy.
41:07 Alex Cooper? Mm hmm.
41:07 Speaker 01 You know, she was like a little survivor. She had like instincts to like.
41:15 Speaker 01 Keep her head, not always making smart choices and falling short of being the best friend, or the best girlfriend, or her best self. But I also was very happy that they were writing her that way.
41:31 Alex Cooper? Was there anything that frustrated you about Carrie?
41:36 Speaker 01 So, no. And, yeah. And I say that, like, slightly chagrined because I know as much as I don't read anything, you can glean that people, there's a sentiment sometimes that she's frustrating, or she's selfish, or she makes poor decisions, or she doesn't manage her money well. Yeah, all of that has been true over the course of the last 25 years. But she's also been like hugely loyal, decent, reliable, a really good friend, generous,
42:16 Speaker 01 available, present, comforting, given of herself in, you know, in big and small ways that are private and public to her and among her friends. And she loves, like, so frustrated?
42:39 Speaker 01 If I were watching her, and if I were her friend, and I would see a misstep, or see her keep repeating something, you know, whatever, however she was choosing to deal with big,
42:54 Speaker 01 I'm sure I would feel frustration, or I would feel like... But as an actor playing it? Mm-mm. I want all of it. I want all of it. And also, I think we forgive our male characters, our male leads. We have no problem if they're, you know, murderers. You know, like, we have, honestly, like...
43:18 Alex Cooper? So true.
43:19 Speaker 01 My favorite show in that period is Sopranos. Like, it's my, and I love Tony Soprano. Like, I don't know if you guys watch Sopranos, but it's one of the great television shows in the history of American television. But Tony Soprano was a deeply flawed man.
43:38 Speaker 01 But we didn't talk as much about that as we did Carrie having an affair with a married man. You know, it was just very curious to me, or they'd say she's selfish. And I was like, I can give you 10 reasons and ways in which she wasn't. And you're like, hyper fixated on this. So frustrated, no, but I can, I can absolutely understand if you're along for the ride, you can be like, lady, girl.
44:02 Alex Cooper? It's such a good point. I think it's so fair. And I think that's also a lot of even criticism also comes from women. And I think it's just because we criticize ourselves so much.
44:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, we're very good at that.
44:14 Alex Cooper? Beyond. A plus in that category. But I think when people are watching, a lot of times, I even felt like you really become so obsessed with these women, that maybe a lot of the critique is because these, we actually as viewers are like, no, you're my best friend, Carrie. Like, I'm with you, but like, we got to get it together.
44:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, got to get it together.
44:33 Alex Cooper? So that's fair to hear you as an actress being like, oh, I loved her. And I, but I so get where you're coming from, but like, doesn't bother me.
44:41 Speaker 01 And I, I think that the way you characterize that, that kind of voice frustration is so wonderful, even if they're mad, even I feel like, gosh, to be part of something that is, that people have such strong feelings for and against. And those feelings can change, and they think they're made, they've made decisions about people, and then the people surprise them. And Carrie matures, too. But there wouldn't really be a show if she had been a more stellar, consistently stellar human being. There's no, there's, that's,
45:26 Speaker 01 that's it. The end.
45:27 Alex Cooper? Done. Done at the pilot. See you all. Bye.
45:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
45:31 Alex Cooper? Um, the show really celebrated female confidence. Behind the scenes at that time in your life, how did you feel about yourself?
45:40 Speaker 01 Probably the same level of confidence one feels on their best day, and the lack of it that one feels on a middling or your worst day. And I do think that being on a television show in particular,
46:01 Speaker 01 That grabs people's attention was probably a real test of coping, like my coping mechanisms because I wasn't prepared. And this was before social media. So I really wasn't prepared for public commentary. And I think that is, that was really unpleasant at times where people would have opinions, not about the work. Everyone's allowed to, everyone's a critic, but at the time there were fewer of them and they had their feelings about the show. And sometimes I felt like, we all felt like, well, you're not really, you're misunderstanding, but that's a separate thing. That's like an academic conversation.
46:43 Speaker 01 It was the personal stuff that I was really not prepared for. So at that time, I thought I was a fairly confident person, not boastful, not, it wouldn't be a confidence you could detect. It was just the way you get up every day and try to get on with your life and take care of yourself and the people you care about and love. But I think it really comes into question and is tested when, when you're kind of filleted in a way, when you're opened up, and I know you know this, we're better for those kinds of experiences, but not all of us are good at it right away.
47:28 Alex Cooper? And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
47:30 Speaker 01 Yes, and I think that was the thing is that up to that point,
47:36 Speaker 01 I would just, I just never had people have, and there was no chatter about me. There was no chatter about me. There was just my work.
47:45 Alex Cooper? What were some of the comments that would be the hardest that got you?
47:49 Speaker 01 I think just discussions of my physical person, like stuff that I couldn't change and wouldn't change and had never considered changing or even still after hearing something that was like, what? Somebody would say that, even still no interest in changing it. And also, and I think, once again, you can appreciate this and you've
48:16 Speaker 01 I feel like you found a better way. I didn't feel like it was actually a conversation. I didn't feel like I could sit in a room and someone would say to me, you're really unattractive. And then I could say, wow, um, well, first of all, that's like hard to hear. But second of all, why are you, why are you, why do you seem angry about it? Or why do you feel it's necessary to say it, to comment? And I think it was really only, only one time, um, and I don't really remember specifically the occasion, except it was brought to my attention that a magazine said something really, um, really mean about, you know, who I am, how I look.
49:02 Speaker 01 And I was like, I was like, someone, it was like a kick in the rubber parts. I was just like, why, why is this a problem? Why is this deserving of your time? And why do you seem to delight in saying it? And I called my friends, two of my friends who happened to be male, because I knew that they might know about it. And I was just like, I was sobbing because it felt so purposeful. Um, and I think that's the only time I really cried about it.
49:42 Speaker 01 And I think it was just like an accumulation of like, maybe a season of that kind of commentary, which nobody was trying to make me aware of it, but it get, you know,
49:52 Alex Cooper? It gets back to you.
49:53 Speaker 01 It gets in.
49:55 Alex Cooper? It's interesting though, because like you said, how maybe there, it is a little different now. Like in my position, yes, I can like come on and speak like this. But like back then, I, the analogy you used was so interesting where you're like, I feel like I'm like, Being put out basically like a fillet almost and it's just like I'm getting seared and I and then in your an actress so you're not you're playing this character people are commenting on you you're going to the grocery store you're seeing your face on magazines they're giving commentary on your looks
50:24 Speaker 01 This isn't the day of magazines.
50:25 Alex Cooper? Oh my god and then you just have to go back to work whereas now yes we can go online and I can make a whole episode about it of why do we feel so comfortable commenting on women's bodies? Why do we feel like women have to actually look like a statue where we celebrate men and a beer belly and it's like everyone's like he's hot and it's like it's just the double standards are insane and talking more about it I appreciate you sharing that because I think so many women watching this would be like wait what you're literally one of the most beautiful men in the world like what does that and yet here we are we can never be good enough for the standards so at what point do we actually just be like you have to just let it go but it's so fucking hard.
51:06 Speaker 01 I think maybe you there's like a a threshold where
51:13 Speaker 01 maybe you know crying about it because it just seemed so cruel and was like done I do wonder like and I'm sure you've said this and men anyone who's been criticized you can't help but wonder I couldn't help but wonder um sorry um would you say it to my face? Would you?
51:38 Alex Cooper? They will.
51:38 Speaker 01 I don't know anyway.
51:40 Alex Cooper? Mic drop um you were already married by the time you started filming Sex in the City.
51:45 Speaker 01 I just got married the night before like I we were married we were married I told Darren we were supposed to start sooner and I said I I I'm gonna tell you a secret Darren but I'm getting married on May 19th but we don't really want to share that publicly so can we start shooting and I was doing a musical on Broadway at the time also so the show closed and the next day I started so the show closed I think June 1st and the next morning Monday morning I started shooting the show so I was 10 days married.
52:14 Alex Cooper? Before that period of your life how did your dating life compare to Miss Carrie Bradshaw?
52:20 Speaker 01 It didn't compare it doesn't compare at all it was much less colorful less busy um I dated but
52:31 Speaker 01 Um, I would be, I would meet someone and date and then that would be a relationship. You know, it lasted seven years, you know.
52:40 Alex Cooper? You were a relationship girl.
52:41 Speaker 01 Yes.
52:42 Alex Cooper? Did you have a type?
52:44 Speaker 01 No, no, no. I don't really think I have had it. I don't think I have a type.
52:50 Alex Cooper? Do you think you and Carrie would have ever dated the same man?
52:53 Speaker 01 Yes, I do.
52:56 Alex Cooper? Big was always sending Carrie mixed messages, obviously, I roll. But I feel, I feel like we all have that one guy that we gave too many chances to. What was a moment in your dating life where you realized like, okay, I actually like have to cut this off? Like I've given this person too many chances?
53:14 Speaker 01 The first person that I really had a really lovely boyfriend at the end of high school, like really spectacular human being. And then, um, I met somebody else who was also really interesting and exciting and a dazzler. And had no interest in being in a relationship and I was really, really, really young. And so that like, I, I was like, what do you mean? What how, I, I was so, I just couldn't believe it. Um, so that was an appropriate heartbreak. Like that was a good old fashioned, sitting by the phone.
53:59 Speaker 01 Um, today's going to be different. This is today's day and, um,
54:06 Speaker 01 but after that I met a fella and, um,
54:12 Speaker 01 you know, he was handsome, but he, he was not the best choice for me. And I think it was, um, too many conversations that were not fruitful. Like they didn't, they were a waste of time. And I actually, I appreciated that he was a beautiful, handsome man that people said, my God, he's handsome. But I discovered I don't, I didn't care. I don't care if we cannot speak. If we can't.
54:54 Alex Cooper? Right. You're like, what are we doing?
54:56 Speaker 01 What are we doing?
54:58 Alex Cooper? Now you're beautiful, but like, at what point am I now going to bed? Being like, I'm lonely.
55:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:02 Alex Cooper? We haven't spoken.
55:03 Speaker 01 When there was nothing, yeah.
55:06 Alex Cooper? There's just nothing there.
55:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:07 Alex Cooper? I know ladies, like, looks only go so far. You need the depth, you need the connection. I think that's so relatable.
55:14 Speaker 01 Humor and intelligence and complexity and surprise.
55:18 Alex Cooper? Him being interested in you and asking follow-up questions.
55:22 Speaker 01 Yes, a follow-up question.
55:23 Alex Cooper? The simple things.
55:24 Speaker 01 Was, there were just, anyway, not a bad person, just.
55:29 Alex Cooper? Not right for you.
55:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:30 Alex Cooper? If you needed relationship advice, who from the core four would you want to call in the show?
55:36 Speaker 01 I suppose if you just want someone to comfort you, you'd reach, you'd call Charlotte.
55:39 Alex Cooper? Yes.
55:40 Speaker 01 You know, because she's so naturally
55:45 Speaker 01 comfort. I'm gonna say she's maternal and because she is, she is actually maternal. The character is, and it's a, it's like a source of pride that she can soothe. I think if you want, like, sound harsh, not, not harsh, sound firm
56:04 Speaker 01 Miranda.
56:07 Speaker 01 And then if you want some nuance and like, you want to open it up to a larger conversation, Carrie.
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57:00 Alex Cooper? The brands you love. Find your nearest Ross at Ross stores.com. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Shopify. I feel like it's that time of the year where everyone starts to slow down a little bit. We're reflecting on this past year, maybe even, you know, we're writing down a few goals for next year. And if you're starting a business and that is something that's on your list, thankfully, the internet has made it easier than ever to do. No matter what stage you're at, Shopify is the best place to start and grow a business. Personally, I have loved how their shop pay feature streamlines the entire checkout process with the holidays coming up. My online shopping addiction is obviously it's at its
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58:26 Alex Cooper? Head to Shopify.com/daddy. That's Shopify.com/daddy. Sex in the City was essentially, I feel like, the first time on television that women talked about sex and pleasure in a really open way. How do you think the conversations on the show actually allowed women to have more sexual agency in real life?
58:53 Speaker 01 I mean, I guess what I could tell you is that Probably about a year into the show airing, I could see evidence of its, the way it was impacting New York City, say. You'd see groups of women all of a sudden in tables, leaning into each other, not leaning in, which I can't stand the phrase. Uh, but I mean physically, like clustered and, and you'd see them in fours, walking down a sidewalk, like lined up, like almost like a piece of equipment, which I'd never really, now, maybe I was like hyper vigilant because of what we were doing all day long.
59:38 Speaker 01 So, and then just the anecdotal stuff of all the women that just came up to me and said, all these years, you know, I,
59:49 Speaker 01 I was allowed to be me. I have different relationships because what I saw, I wanted. I wanted to talk, or perhaps more so importantly, the multiples, the thousands who have said to me of the years, that's me, that was me. I never heard somebody say on television or in cinema, talking with my friends, like the way we talk, the way, the truth of the way we, we conduct our relationships, which is all intimacy. It's all sharing, it's all needing, it's all helping, it's all truth, it's all hurting each other. Um,
1:00:29 Speaker 01 so I think like tha- that combination I'm aware of, but I think the larger, like where does it sit? How has it? I think I'm just like, I'm not able to see it.
1:00:41 Alex Cooper? And I think that's so fair. I also think like, it's probably also easy to digest in those moments when you meet a woman on the street and she shares that with you, like, that's amazing, that's beautiful. I'm so happy. A piece of work and art that I've put together with a group of people has impacted that way. Like, I think for me, I remember the way that comedy was used to lighten the conversation for women around something that historically has been.
1:01:08 Alex Cooper? So taboo.
1:01:10 Speaker 01 Taboo, yeah.
1:01:10 Alex Cooper? It was, it almost makes you think when you're in your room at night, watching it, if you're alone or with your friends, you're like, why do I feel so awkward to talk about something that should be liberating if I want it to be, right? Like, if you want to engage in that capacity.
1:01:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:25 Alex Cooper? And I felt like for me, even at the genesis of starting Call Her Daddy, like, I remember that in the back of my head even of like, feeling empowered to just go for it because I knew that had impacted the way that I felt comfortable. So if I now do a new iteration on my show, other women hopefully will continue to feel more liberated. And so I also think the lack of shame, I think the debriefs with women was such a beautiful element of freedom it gave to women to be like, they're, why can men just so casually talk about sex? Like, for women, if you want, you can also be celebrated and enjoy it. So there was so many nuances to it, which I completely understand. It's like, where do we begin?
1:02:08 Alex Cooper? You could do a million part series on it, but I just wanted to tell you, like, it changed my life. So, thank you.
1:02:14 Speaker 01 Well, it's good writing and it's great that they stuck, not stuck with it, but it's great that they, um, the writers, like, felt convinced of the idea. And, you know, then you, you do with it what you want.
1:02:37 Alex Cooper? Yes. Obviously, the show is really based in these beautiful friendships. And I have to bring up because I've obviously hung out with him, he came on my tour, Mr. Andy Cohen. You guys are close friends and I feel like people are obsessed with your guys' friendship. It's quite cute.
1:02:51 Speaker 01 He's so funny.
1:02:51 Alex Cooper? What is his best quality as a friend?
1:02:54 Speaker 01 There's multiple.
1:02:57 Speaker 01 And Andy has talked about this, both in his books and on the air. Andy has said yes to everything. He has, like, gobbled up life. He's tireless. He wants to taste it, experience it, see it, hear it, know it, travel to it.
1:03:18 Speaker 01 He has a, a, a very attractive joie de vivre and he, um, is very proud of his friends. He's very...
1:03:36 Speaker 01 Always um noting people's accomplishments always. We had a club years and years ago of everybody downtown. It sort of fell apart because people moved and stuff. But it was called the Nitwits and um we would meet and there was the deputy, there was the vice prince, vice president, there was a president, there was a secretary, there's a treasurer and um then Andy would write the letter to the group like once a month. It was the Nitwits newsletter and the entire beginning or the majority of the text of the body of the work was everybody's accomplishment over the last month.
1:04:18 Speaker 01 Everybody's success story didn't have to be a big deal, you know, to the wider world. So that's just his nature and I think that's why he loves parenting so much and why it felt so necessary for him to be a parent was to be involved in somebody else's life because he, you know, as much as um his reputation and his public profile is wrapped around, you know, women that sometimes, you know, fight or behave poorly or whatever and he's a good shit stir and he knows how to do it on the show. His nature is to be, you know, up here and yeah.
1:05:01 Alex Cooper? Um, okay, this is a little bit of a pivot, but I do want to just quickly ask you because I know a lot of women are listening. Do you have any advice for women who want kids but are also afraid that they may fall behind in their career?
1:05:16 Speaker 01 What do you say to them?
1:05:18 Alex Cooper? I mean, I just recently talked about this. I think it's like being really in tune with yourself because I think the reality is as a woman, it is going to be different, but hopefully in a beautiful way different, right? And I had spoken about with my husband that we thought we wanted to try this past year and now I realize I'm not ready. And that's okay. And I felt shame and weird about it and I was upset with myself just because I was like, how was I so sure about something? But really, I want to, I have so much more I want to be selfish with and I think as women, it's hard to be selfish.
1:05:50 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:05:50 Alex Cooper? And it goes against our being.
1:05:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:05:52 Alex Cooper? So I want to be selfish a little bit longer and I think that's okay. So my advice is take your time. I don't think there's ever a perfect time. But listen to yourself and don't allow exterior factors to impact you.
1:06:04 Speaker 01 Just in general, that's just
1:06:06 Alex Cooper? Oh, that's
1:06:06 Speaker 01 outside of fertility issues or thinking about planning a family. That's really good advice. In my opinion, it's really good advice. I, I couldn't agree more. And I think the most important thing that I think you said, well, no, it's equally important to other things is um, there's no right time because um, that's what makes it so confusing for yourself and for so many women. You think, okay, I'll just accomplish this and then it'll be a better time. And then maybe you are, you do it, you accomplish that and you think, but wait a second, but because of those accomplishments, now this opportunity exists and I'm not quite ready because I know I won't be able to be
1:06:47 Speaker 01 the same professional person. Um, so I would say first of all, there's, there's not a right time. So you have to kind of keep looking at your life um
1:06:59 Speaker 01 with honesty and also it's really nice to have somebody to talk about it to with whom you can speak about it. Doesn't have to be a partner because a lot of people are choosing to have families without. Um, having somebody to talk to, I think that, because we, I think we spend a lot of time with fear and anything that's complicated in our heads and the minute we can talk about it, oh my gosh, it feels so much better.
1:07:28 Alex Cooper? Such a release.
1:07:28 Speaker 01 So I think finding somebody to talk to um, who you trust and
1:07:36 Speaker 01 You know, like you said, just beating yourself up is, is
1:07:42 Speaker 01 it really isn't in like you're spending so much time trying to make good decisions and right decisions for you and for potentially have a baby, you know, so be decent to yourself about it.
1:07:54 Alex Cooper? Be decent. Let's talk about and just like that.
1:07:59 Alex Cooper? We're back. We're back. Um, what was it like returning and playing Carrie? Cause like I was thinking about it. You've, you were gone, obviously for a while on the show and now you guys have been back, but like, is it weird? Does it feel the same? Like, how, how do you feel?
1:08:18 Speaker 01 Well, when I first started talking to Michael Patrick about it, it was March of 2020 or April of 2020 and
1:08:28 Speaker 01 um, I started talking to him about potentially doing a podcast because we had, he and I had never talked about what it took to make the show and
1:08:40 Speaker 01 I thought it was a nice idea to kind of do like, or could be potentially interesting to do like an all access backstage pass to like, really, what, how do you produce this show? Um, and in the course of those conversations, he said, why aren't we just doing the show again? And I said, wow, I can't believe you said that because every time I had to come up prior to that, it just never felt like the right time. But when we were all at home,
1:09:12 Speaker 01 I felt like everybody was looking for home in a way that they weren't experiencing in their home. And that meant their friends, like what people really missed. Outside of like being with family, which for some people was a really great experience, but they missed their friendships outside of their family. And we thought, well, that's why it's right now because everybody's looking for home and Carrie's always been looking for home. And the way she tries to find that is with her friends, like how do they guide you home? And so.
1:09:50 Speaker 01 In theory, it felt really good. It was terrifying. I mean, the table read was so happy. We were all so happy to be together again. Like, it was a perfect day. But I was really nervous for the first two weeks, three weeks of our first season. And I am typically anyway, at the top of every project, doesn't matter how many times I've played a part. You just are constantly like, is this how I walk? Is this how I talk? Is this, I mean, no, is this how she walks? Is this how she talks?
1:10:21 Speaker 01 You know, does she run this way? What's, what feels right and correct now? So that's just the way I examine everything anyway, but.
1:10:33 Alex Cooper? Did you watch any of the Old Sex and the City to remember anything?
1:10:37 Speaker 01 No, I've never seen most of it. I've never watched the show. I watched it in the beginning and there was a period in which I was getting dailies and rough cuts from the studio, but I finally begged off because A, I wasn't keeping up. Michael Patrick wanted, he's like, you've got to watch, you've got to give me notes, you've got to watch it. And then I realized that I wasn't being helpful because it was so unpleasant for me to watch myself that I couldn't see the work.
1:11:06 Alex Cooper? Completely.
1:11:06 Speaker 01 And that's not a good producing partner. I was able to be a partner in lots of other ways. So I would say easily by second season, I wasn't watching at all. I've never seen almost anything. I saw the final episode ever because Michael had a screening of it live as it was happening live, which was pretty incredible. But that's just was an opportunity for all of us to be together. And I think the only time I understood that the show was in the world in the way it was because we had been so
1:11:44 Speaker 01 kind of purposely cloistered from too much chatter, you know, peripheral, blah, blah, blah. So was I came home from seeing that episode? And that was season six, so I hadn't seen almost anything up to that point after season one. And we turned on the, we were just, the news was on and under the, what do they call that?
1:12:07 Alex Cooper? That. Yeah, like the banner.
1:12:09 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:12:09 Alex Cooper? News banner.
1:12:10 Speaker 01 It said, Carrie ends up with Big on CNN. And I was like.
1:12:18 Speaker 01 They know who Carrie is and they know if they say big, what that means and John, maybe they said John. And I only then thought, wow, that's making a big assumption that there's going to be people in the broader world that know who Carrie is.
1:12:35 Alex Cooper? They do, honey. Oh, they do. Did you, of all the years that you were away from her, did you miss her? Or were you for a while at ease with like, it's okay?
1:12:48 Speaker 01 I always feel good when we stop because I feel as if Michael's been so clever about, like if somebody said to me, do you miss her? I'd say like, I, no, I think she's well. You know, we'd leave a season.
1:13:07 Alex Cooper? I'm gonna cry.
1:13:08 Speaker 01 Or a movie and I would think, but she was, she seemed really well last time I saw her. You know, so I always felt like he left her in, in, not in good hands because she's in her own hands, but having sorted things out and finding a kind of contentment that is, sustains a person and those friendships I trusted would remain even if they change and they do. Um, so I didn't miss her. I always felt that Michael, that we, you know, did right by her.
1:13:45 Alex Cooper? In this moment, because I feel like it changes, right? What do you hope your legacy will be within the Sex and the City franchise era?
1:13:56 Speaker 01 Gosh, I never thought about me. Um, I suppose, I hope the work is good. Like, I really do care about the work and I think, I care because, um, of the audience. Like, I feel.
1:14:19 Speaker 01 Such a debt of gratitude that will never be able to be paid back properly. Um, so the work matters because for all these years, people have paid to have us in their home. They've actually paid to have us in their home and they were the gang of 10 million from the beginning. It was slow, but they were, um, they were as much a part of the show as we were. And so I feel for me, the work that has been so important to me is
1:15:00 Speaker 01 in large part about the audience's work and time spent with us, which is equally as important. And the two cannot, we can't exist without them and the commitment they've made. And so therefore I made a commitment that I would care about every little detail. And some people make fun of me on the set for the kind of vigilance around detail and, but I think it all adds up and the audience sees and knows it all better than I do. So.
1:15:36 Alex Cooper? Beautiful. Last question.
1:15:39 Speaker 01 Okay. Really? Oh, that's so sad.
1:15:41 Alex Cooper? I know. I know. I could stay here all day with you.
1:15:44 Speaker 01 No, no, no. You gotta, you gotta go home.
1:15:45 Alex Cooper? In what ways has playing Carrie Bradshaw shaped you as Sarah Jessica Parker?
1:15:51 Speaker 01 Well, I suppose in ways that don't really matter and ways that matter. Um, so sometimes on a seemingly surfacey level and then more so in ways that matter, the idea of breaking rules. Think I learned very early, um, that Carrie is a rule breaker and.
1:16:15 Speaker 01 When she's doing it sartorially with clothing, it's people love it. And then sometimes when she does it in her interpersonal relationships, it's been not as successful, or it has been because she was willing to risk convention and be herself. So I would say, I came to look at rules different because I was somebody that always followed rules. Like, I really did believe in them because I felt that they were
1:16:45 Speaker 01 like a kind of constant that was good for us. And
1:16:53 Speaker 01 Carrie didn't always, and there was a lot that came that made her life better by being completely herself. But I'm wary, you know, I wasn't unaware of the ways in which it was harmful, even if briefly. So that, and I would say that though none of us have the time that she has had to devote to friendship.
1:17:20 Speaker 01 I so admire
1:17:24 Speaker 01 the way that friendships are like foundationally the most important thing. And a lot of us have spent a lot of time working and I always have had friends that were important to me. But I was envious of the way, the time and the way she took care of those friendships. And it made me want to be a better friend. It taught me, even if I wasn't able to mimic it because life doesn't give us time to have lunch all the time with our friends. But even if you put aside that kind of luxury of time and leisure, it's still like,
1:18:05 Speaker 01 it's still something to aim for.
1:18:07 Alex Cooper? I agree. I cannot thank you enough for sitting down with me. I feel like I'm in a dream right now and I don't know when I'm gonna wake up. But like, this has truly been such an honor. Like, again, I just have to reiterate it like from me starting Call Her Daddy to now actually getting to sit down with you. I have chills. I've had so many chills throughout this interview. Thank you so much for giving me the time and sitting down with me. It
1:18:31 Speaker 01 Thank you for having me. Thank you. And I'm really, really proud of you. And it sounds like you're so
1:18:39 Speaker 01 You're so healthy about the way that you're looking at your life. And I'm sure it's a huge source of comfort to a lot of women that listen to you, who are also contemplating in their lives, some similar things, but also even if they're not, it's like guideposts. So, um, thank you for the way that you have connected with millions and millions of women and men.
1:19:06 Alex Cooper? Yes, men. We didn't forget about you.
1:19:08 Speaker 01 And thank you for having me and being so hospitable and lovely. It was a real treat.
1:19:12 Alex Cooper? We did it.
1:19:12 Speaker 01 And safe travels home.
1:19:13 Alex Cooper? Woo, thank you.
1:19:14 Speaker 01 We did it.
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Previous How To Leave A Bitchboy Next An Abortion Story (FBF) Page updated November 3, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated
