#192 - Edy Modica and Marley Gotterer

Edy Modica and Marley Gotterer join the pod to discuss Edy’s new special I’m Just Like You (And It Sucks) (out now on Veeps), what really goes down at summer camp, the vicious ecosystem of bullying and getting bullied, wtf the hamsa hand means besides just looking cool, the pressure for female comics to be hot and multihyphenate, and much more. Edy, Marley and Stav help callers including a man wondering if he should address the longstanding beef he has with his soon-to-be sister-in-law in the best man speech at his brother’s wedding, a guy who ruined an EDM trip with his bud by bringing a girl he’s dating, and a girlboss who’s wondering if she should address rumors one of her male underlings is spreading about her. Watch Edy Modica's new special I'm Just Like You (And It Sucks) out now on Veeps: https://veeps.com/edymodica/2286c790-8714-426b-b279-44690a44b2be Watch her special premiere on YouTube on 9/17 at 8pm!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMhAV7XrSKM Follow Edy Modica: https://www.instagram.com/doodiehole/ https://www.youtube.com/@edymodica5536 Follow Marley Gotterer: https://www.instagram.com/marleyismarley https://www.tiktok.com/@marleygotterer 🙏 Thanks to our sponsors! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ SWITCH NOW! Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stavie's World. 904-800-STOP. Call the Stavie's World hotline, sponsored by Visible, and we'll answer all your problems. On the couch today, we have Edie Madica and Marley Goddard. Thanks for being here, gals.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Thank you so much for having us.

• 1:19Stavros Halkias?

  How'd I do on those last names? Because Modica, it could be Modica.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  My uncle used to say Modica to give it like a spin. But it's Modica.

• 1:31Stavros Halkias?

  Modica, it could be a girl I went to high school with. That is true.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  In high school, they would say, "Mo-dick."

• 1:39Speaker 02

  Good one. You got me.

• 1:42Stavros Halkias?

  It worked on me.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:44Stavros Halkias?

  You were doing it as like, can you believe it? And I didn't catch that at all. I was just laughing. I was like, wow, that was funny when they used to say that.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  "Mo-dick."

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Was it like, uh, like this? Or was it like, ah?

• 1:57Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, that's true.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Oh, that would have been better.

• 1:59Speaker 03

  You needed me in middle school. I would have fucked you up. You actually did mine perfectly.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  I was impressed.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  I was like, there's no way you would have got that.

• 2:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I just went out on a limb, so it feels good. It feels good to have gotten that.

• 2:13Speaker 03

  You literally did it.

• 2:15Stavros Halkias?

  And we do want you to say up top, Edie's got a special, which our pal Benny Buttcheeks worked on. I'm just like you, and it sucks.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Thank you for saying that.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Did you see it?

• 2:27Stavros Halkias?

  I did see it. It's really funny.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  You watched it?

• 2:29Stavros Halkias?

  It's really funny.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  It's so good.

• 2:32Stavros Halkias?

  Go watch that, folks. Available on, of course.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  veeps.com.

• 2:40Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, this can give me.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Veeps, veeps, veeps.

• 2:43Stavros Halkias?

  Can we get some fucking?

• 2:45Speaker 02

  Thank you, thank you. Yeah, they're begging me.

• 2:50Stavros Halkias?

  And that is a website that has old episodes of Veep on it. And it also shows your...

• 2:55Speaker 02

  Stop it!

• 2:57Speaker 03

  Wait, you got me.

• 2:59Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe I will get a subscription.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  It is a live show's website that you can subscribe to.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Oh, it's kind of like, what is it, Netflix?

• 3:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  My dad the other day was literally like, he was like, "And when does it come out? Out?" And I was like, "In September." And he was like, "All right, that's what I'll tell people."

• 3:25Stavros Halkias?

  Your dad won't even plug it?

• 3:26Speaker 02

  He was like, "Oh, no." He said to me, "Well, Edie, not everyone doesn't have Veep." I was like...

• 3:35Stavros Halkias?

  You should get, I will say, they do put a lot of good specials on there. A lot of very funny people have gotten their specials on there. Edie, Twice, Blair Saki.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  Yes, and Carmen Christopher and Catherine Cohen.

• 3:47Stavros Halkias?

  Catherine Cohen. There we go.

• 3:49Speaker 02

  Honestly, when I saw Catherine Cohen had it on there years ago, and I remember being like, "Oh, shit."

• 3:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, fuck, she's putting this...

• 3:58Speaker 02

  But now, I'm like, it's a reputable website. Run by the Good Charlotte people.

• 4:04Stavros Halkias?

  Is that so?

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Yes, the Good Charlotte Brothers.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, well, you didn't say, you didn't lead with that.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  Well, I just found it out quite recently.

• 4:10Stavros Halkias?

  Then it's a fucking, what's, what are their names? Waldorf, Maryland's own.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  Oh, Waldorf.

• 4:16Stavros Halkias?

  Waldorf, Maryland.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  That's the playing with dirt?

• 4:18Stavros Halkias?

  Real white trash stuff.

• 4:20Speaker 03

  Oh, Waldorf, like place?

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  Waldorf, yes, yes.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  Waldorf Chicken Salad.

• 4:24Stavros Halkias?

  Which is funny, because the Waldorf Astoria... Yeah, that is true, because those are fancy. But Waldorf, Maryland is, it's maybe the worst white trash.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Really?

• 4:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's a very specific kind. I won't say worse.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Like what?

• 4:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's kind of like, it's getting southern, it's like, regular, like, like, east coast city white trash with like a southern twist to it, you know? Because they're, and they're a little, they're a little further away from major cities. It's kind of between DC, it's, you know, it's like sort of a DC suburb, but not really. It's not really near anything with real culture. So, you know, it's just...

• 4:58Speaker 02

  They're poor.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, white trash.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Come on, DC has culture.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  DC's disgusting. DC's one of the worst fucking towns of all ti... I mean, it's, it does have culture because of the museums and shit, but man...

• 5:09Speaker 03

  The Spy Museum? That's my culture. That's my fucking culture.

• 5:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good ass museum. When you're, when you're a child, Spy Museum's where you want to go.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. I mean, I haven't been there as an adult, but I'm sure it still is fire.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  They got the little microphones. They were first on the little microphone.

• 5:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Spy Museum, I bet you it holds up. I haven't been in, I haven't been in a while either. The rest of it, though, the Smithsonian and shit, that's pretty good, but, but anyway, fuck Waldorf and fuck the Good Charlotte Brothers, actually, I just changed my mind. Fuck.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  Fuck you!

• 5:47Stavros Halkias?

  Where did you grow up, Marley?

• 5:48Speaker 03

  Western Massachusetts.

• 5:49Stavros Halkias?

  Western Mass, so we're talking...

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, kind of like small town. No, no, that's eastern, but western because it's not Boston. So, I'm like, almost like New York. Yeah, yeah. It's like a so far west.

• 6:02Stavros Halkias?

  So far west that it's, that it also feels like, it feels like a completely different place.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  It's like, it's really, it's a beautiful, sad, lonely place. But in the summer, it's like a lot of, you know, New Yorker kind of culture of like theater and arts and stuff. I'm actually there right now because I'm working at this camp for mostly, let's say, autistic transgender teenagers.

• 6:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow, that's awesome.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  They're furries, they like Magic the Gathering.

• 6:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's awesome.

• 6:34Speaker 02

  It looks amazing.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  It's pretty much such a special place, and it's sad that I grew up 30 minutes from there and had no idea it occurred.

• 6:41Stavros Halkias?

  I was going on, that's like, that's not new?

• 6:43Speaker 03

  I would be totally different if I went there.

• 6:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's like if Harry Potter grew up four minutes from Hogwarts and had no idea.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  It's definitely like Harry Potter. It's like J.K. Rowling. If, yeah, I'm literally like J.K. Rowling. Like, I'm serving J.K. Rowling down.

• 7:04Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah. What's the programming for the, for the little autistic teenagers?

• 7:08Speaker 03

  Well, I, I'm actually going to do comedy with them this week. So, we're going to do comedy, like comedy writing, and then they want to do a comedy show, but I also do like drag stuff as well. But I'm also going to do World Cup soccer. They have to run because they all have canes, they all have fake canes. They're fake bedazzled canes.

• 7:27Stavros Halkias?

  Even the teens have fake health problems?

• 7:31Speaker 03

  More so than, it's like, they're addicted.

• 7:34Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of K20, a lot of N masks, N24 masks or whatever.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Yes, and 95. Maybe 24 as well. Yeah, they got the masks, they have, we have the white kid, the hijabi white kid.

• 7:47Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course, of course.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  We have all of it, and it's so special. It's so special, and they're like all such geniuses.

• 7:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  But like, I'm kind of there of being like, because I went to like a sports camp growing up, so I'm like, let's run. I'm like kicking their canes and making them do things.

• 8:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is, I like that because that's like, that's like, you kind of, you bully them almost like an acceptable amount that they can get over. You know, it's like, like, like what a vaccine is, where it's like a little bit of the disease.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  A little dose.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  You need, they do need to be bullied a little bit because the world will bully them. You know, they gotta be ready.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  If it's too much of a utopia, then they're going to go back and it's going to back.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Exactly. Like, it's like they come from anti-vaxville and I'm like vaccinating the fuck out of them.

• 8:33Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Are they kissing?

• 8:36Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, that's a good question.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, they are. They're deaf, they're in like, there's like T-Boy polycules for sure.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  It's like, unfortunately.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  It's...

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I remember going to camp and thinking it was going to be like, everything you heard about, where it's like people, because all my friends that went to like Jewish camp, they were all getting jerked off. That seemed to be classic.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 9:01Stavros Halkias?

  And then I went to Christian.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  Well, sorry, not to butt in there, they're getting jerked off by the other guys. The girls aren't jerking them off. That's not in Jewish camp, the guys are jerking off the guys.

• 9:10Stavros Halkias?

  Is that maybe your experience at Jewish camp?

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Let me check.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  I'm like, no, the closeted women are jerking off all the guys.

• 9:29Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I didn't hear that much about that. I'm not, you know, I don't wanna, cause to me that was not that big a sell as a eighth grader. I wasn't, if they were like, oh, we're all jerking each other off.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  You wouldn't take it from anyone.

• 9:39Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe if you caught me, there were.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  I would've got you.

• 9:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 9:45Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe if a secret girl at the time, you know what I mean? Like if I could have picked up on that energy perhaps.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  Everybody from my camp.

• 9:52Stavros Halkias?

  I could've told you earlier. I was like, no, something about this guy. I don't know, man. Let's check back in 10 years and maybe I'm not gay after all. Maybe I'm not gay on a technicality.

• 10:03Speaker 03

  I knew it. I knew there was something normal about me.

• 10:07Stavros Halkias?

  Checking on the, yeah, the guy that jerked me off in middle school being like, come on, trans, come on, trans.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Wow, that is killing me. Well, all, it's funny you say that because everybody that went to my camp like was from Baltimore.

• 10:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was like a heavy Baltimore. So that's how I know all of them.

• 10:27Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. All my, yeah, exactly. The middle, yeah, I wonder if, let's compare notes.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, definitely.

• 10:31Stavros Halkias?

  My middle school textbook.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  No, I definitely, and I'll draw their dick.

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's who I heard it from though. These kids that would go to like, these Baltimore, like my Jewish friends who, the, the reasons I even like went to a bar mitzvah, you know, those guys, they were coming, they would come home, they would come in the fall with awesome stories about getting jerked off. And I had been in Greece, getting tan, eating gyros. I had a good summer too.

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  But I wasn't getting jerked off, unfortunately. So then I asked my parents, I was like, there was a Greek, there was like a vaca, there was like a Greek, they called it CSC, something, Christian something, Christian summer camp, is that, is it that easy?

• 11:11Speaker 03

  Christian summer, CS, Christian.

• 11:15Stavros Halkias?

  But anyway, doesn't matter. The acronym does not matter whatsoever. Uh, I went there and it just, yeah, it was just kinda boring.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  It's dead.

• 11:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was like, they were actually teaching us Bible shit and I was like, what?

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Were there girls?

• 11:28Stavros Halkias?

  This was just a pretense. There were girls, yeah, yeah. But I don't think anybody, even like the cool guys weren't really getting jerked off. They were maybe kissing and it's like, we're getting, we're letting these Jews fucking embarrass us?

• 11:40Speaker 03

  I know.

• 11:41Stavros Halkias?

  We're supposed to be.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Theater camp stuff went down too.

• 11:43Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Cause there would be like two straight guys. We used to moan in this one guy's ear.

• 11:50Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  And he would get, he, he was in Once on this Island, this like a rumor that like, he was lying down in like the dress in Once on this Island and got a boner. And that's what made it known. It was like, oh, so he's the guy we should like go for.

• 12:04Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, cause his dick gets hard.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 12:07Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. This is pissing me off too, cause I, I had a moment where I decided I was gonna pretend to be a cool jock guy in middle school. Like I didn't, I've said this, I've said this a hundred times. It feels like on this, recently it feels like I tell this story every episode. But anyway, I did not get the part in You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. And then I was like, acting's gay, actually, I'm a jock and I quit. But now I was hearing these stories, it's like, I, my life was so clear. What I should've done was be the straight guy in theater camp.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Yes, and he obviously would've been a star and all of the girls would've been like, oh my god, he's funny.

• 12:42Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I'm like, look at my life now.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  Kind of you now?

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. Cause I fought it, but I needed it as a, you know what? If I'd done it then, I'd be like, I'd be a lawyer.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Honestly, you'd be a lawyer, you'd honestly probably be toxic and not, like you wouldn't have that suffering in the same way.

• 12:58Stavros Halkias?

  I needed to suffer at that point, at that point in my life.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  Were you bullied?

• 13:02Stavros Halkias?

  I was bullied up until I realized, there was like a moment, it was these same, these same Jewish guys who would talk about like, they would come, they would talk about it and then they would, they, they bullied me.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  Such Jewish trauma. It's so funny. I love it.

• 13:17Stavros Halkias?

  Well, no, there was these specific, it's just these specific guys who like, this one kid who would brag about, you know, whatever. And then he would, I would get bullied. And then at a certain point I realized like, wait, why don't I just bully them? Like there was like a, there was a clear turning point where I was like, what are we doing?

• 13:33Speaker 03

  You like take out the pennies and start like chucking them up their head.

• 13:38Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. I was like, wait a second, you're small, you're like a little guy. I'm at least a fat guy.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  And then people were like, yeah, what he said.

• 13:47Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's also the thing where you don't know you're gonna be good at something, but I didn't know the cruelty that I had, that I keep at bay now at all times, but that allows me to, to roast people effectively. I had no idea I had that in me until you're forced to, until you've just.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:02Stavros Halkias?

  Until you've just been called a fat pig too many times in a row, then you're like, wait, I'm just gonna flame you.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Right.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:09Stavros Halkias?

  Are your fucking parents divorced? Wait a second, I just remember your fucking parents divorced, your mom has huge tits. And I can talk about how awesome they are and how much we all wanna suck them.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  I feel like being mean, I realized how funny that was. And then I went too far and like hurt someone close to me.

• 14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, absolutely.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  And then I was like, okay, okay.

• 14:35Stavros Halkias?

  I had my, my English teacher in middle school, like in sixth grade, I was like the fat little bullied kid that she had to like shelter. And in eighth grade, she was like, I am ashamed of like, she was like, you are not the young man I knew in sixth grade. Cause I was lighting kids up in eighth grade.

• 14:54Speaker 03

  So hard for a teacher.

• 14:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that must've been, she's like, I nurtured this, this little boy until he became a monster.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  No, I know. It's like, I definitely was like calling people faggots. And then one day I was like, wait, what if I am that?

• 15:08Speaker 03

  And then also it's like, I would, I mean, I don't know if this was y'all, but it was like, it was like Facebook, sixth grade, like I was like, I think I was the first cyberbully. I do think I was the first cyberbully, but in a way that it was like, you know, I'm having some conversations with like the one other person in Latin class, like the other nerd.

• 15:28Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 15:28Speaker 03

  Like the other Jewish nerd. I'm bullying the other Jewish nerd.

• 15:30Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right. Well, that's how it had to be. That was what it was for me as well. It was like, I went to Baltimore City Public Schools and I was like, well, I'm at least gonna be the coolest white guy. I'm not gonna let other white people bully me. Are you fucking kidding me? And so that was really, that was a nice, I was like, oh yeah, mom obviously.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  You're calling Jewish people white?

• 15:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, at the time.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  And still?

• 15:49Stavros Halkias?

  This was pre-Trump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the 2000s, you guys had kinda been there and then, you know.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  You guys.

• 15:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you're getting your Hamzah off, so.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  I am. I have a Hamzah tattoo on my foot. It needs to go. It's giving Israel heart. It's, it's the hand with the eye.

• 16:13Stavros Halkias?

  The hand with the eye, sure.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  It was my first tattoo. I was, yes, literally I found it on Google Images. You can probably find it.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  My cousin, his first tattoo, when he turned 18, went to the Marines, huge Hamzah on his back.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a spiritual Marine.

• 16:31Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a Marine that's been to Burning Man.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Don't bring up Burning Man to me.

• 16:35Stavros Halkias?

  So Hamzah, see, I, to me, I would not, I don't associate with this, with Israel at all. To me, this is like vaguely Indian, you know what I mean? Like yoga, eat, pray, love type white women.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  I literally think I saw it and I was like, that is so fucking cool.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  And I love that I'm a Jewish girl.

• 16:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  And I'm gonna, I need that. The second I turn 18, I need it on my foot. And I was like, hand on my foot. Like, that was a part of it.

• 17:05Stavros Halkias?

  Nope, my hand on my foot.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  And now when I see like people who have this, it's like.

• 17:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, this is so embarrassing.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  No, it was co-opted. Like I do, cause the evil eye is also like, I feel like in other cultures used. And then I think.

• 17:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the evil eye shit.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  Hamzah is used in Jewish culture, but then.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  What is it? Protective?

• 17:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's protective. Yeah, evil eye, it's like talk to the hand, kind of.

• 17:28Stavros Halkias?

  The evil eye is like, it gets the, the evil, cause Greeks love the evil eye. And that's purely like, if somebody's talking shit, it's basically a shit talking deflector. Yeah, for real, for real. And, and you're, and my grandma, she would do the, they would call it the, um, someone has eyed you, you've been, second matiaxy, and then they DI you is what they call it.

• 17:53Stavros Halkias?

  And so my grandma will just be like.

• 17:57Stavros Halkias?

  And she'll just be like, under her breath saying like incantations, like it's so, it's so clearly old folk lore that they, that they had to like shimmy into Christianity to like convince whatever mountain people they, like a thousand years ago. It's so clearly leftover bullshit of like, oh, we have to shoot like, you know, energy at you to get the evil eye off you. And like the, evil eye is a talisman, but I, we have no, we don't, we don't throw the hand in there.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Well, it's also a bird, so.

• 18:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, and it's a bird as well. Oh, does God forbid you fucking look up the Wikipedia for Hamzah, you fucking idiot?

• 18:33Speaker 03

  It's also a bird and we have to respect the bird.

• 18:36Stavros Halkias?

  You picked up the fucking picture immediately, but God forbid you fucking do a little producing.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's Arabic, yeah. Well, cause they were all of the same.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  I gotta get this shit off my foot.

• 18:47Stavros Halkias?

  So it is Israeli because it's actually a Arabic thing they stole.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  Colonial nickname from an era, it's, it's.

• 18:56Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha, gotcha.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, colonization. But I think it comes from probably like Aramaic vibes.

• 19:02Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. Well, yeah, you should get it off your foot though.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  It's almost gone. It's almost gone.

• 19:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you don't wanna have a stupid tattoo on your body, God forbid.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  These are badass.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  That's a carton, we got pizza.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  The, the sat, that one's awesome.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  I know, can we do tattoo tour? Tattoo tour?

• 19:24Stavros Halkias?

  The, the juice box is, oh, it's for your dad.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  He calls me half pink, cause I'm small, adorable.

• 19:28Stavros Halkias?

  That is cute. All right, I take it back.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  This one's for my mom. This one's good. This one's cool. My mom, when I was a kid, I was like, my ass itches. Like, I was itchy on the street. So she pulled me into a storefront and scratched my ass for me. So we go like this to each other, cause it's like mother's love. And I got it on me, bitch.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  Me as a mother with acrylic nails?

• 19:56Stavros Halkias?

  To commemorate your mother scratching your ass as a child. That's, that is awesome.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Couldn't you do it yourself?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  I wanted her to do it and she did it. Cause I asked.

• 20:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh wait, you couldn't even reach it? It wasn't like you couldn't get to it?

• 20:11Speaker 02

  I could get, I was like, can you?

• 20:14Speaker 03

  I mean, there's something about a mother's love where it's like you will like I for the first time it's been a long, but I sent a picture of my anus to my mother.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  There was something on it?

• 20:26Speaker 03

  There was, yeah, there was a couple things in and around it.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  And yeah, so there, but you know, we're all clear now.

• 20:36Stavros Halkias?

  And your mom's a doctor?

• 20:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, she literally is.

• 20:38Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, cool.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  So she is an amazing doctor and like she, I didn't need to, I didn't need to say, and all, then she prescribed me the wrong medication. So fuck her.

• 20:51Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  Just kidding. I love you, mother.

• 20:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's gotta be nice though. Mom doctor.

• 20:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:57Stavros Halkias?

  How does that affect you as a little kid?

• 20:58Speaker 03

  Well, she was like an Ayurvedic doctor. So it was like, like kind of ancient Indian, like Metis, like Eastern medicine. No, fully Hamza style. So it was like, I wasn't taking medications that much. I was, I think I was.

• 21:13Stavros Halkias?

  So your mom wasn't a doctor is what you're saying?

• 21:16Speaker 03

  She, yeah, she was more of an astrologer.

• 21:23Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, that's fascinating.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, but she's, she's going, why I was saying, don't bring up Burning Man. She's going for her second time this year.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  She invited me up here. She was sending me video. They do like, um, there's like a stand up. There's like a, there's stand up and Burning Man.

• 21:39Stavros Halkias?

  Stand up at Burning Man.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  And they have like a fake brick wall.

• 21:42Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  It's like in a dust storm.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:44Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  I know. We should do it.

• 21:46Stavros Halkias?

  Who's doing, who's doing the show? It's at Burning Man elders. Check that out. Stand up at Burning.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  At Burning Man, ma'am.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  Burning ma'am.

• 21:56Stavros Halkias?

  Mm hmm.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Clocking the wrong eye at Burning Man.

• 22:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's all right. We can look this up later.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  Is that a lesbian?

• 22:04Stavros Halkias?

  Someday we'll get there. Someday we'll be, we'll be lucky to do stand up at Burning.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think we can. I think Veep will sponsor it.

• 22:11Stavros Halkias?

  Veep tent at Burning Man.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Is it one Veep or?

• 22:18Speaker 03

  No, we have to keep saying it because that's going to get people.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  I know.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Veep. Oh, Veeps. Wait, Veep or Veep?

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Veeps.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Veeps.

• 22:28Stavros Halkias?

  This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stavi Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast. It's reliable. It's so sick. They sponsor the Stavies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month or get the premium

• 23:08Stavros Halkias?

  Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STAV. Terms apply. Oh baby, the fall, October, a chill in the air. The leaves are turning. Your body's all messed up. It's dark outside, fast. You're getting off. You gotta switch from summer to the fall. That's where your AG1 routine earns its spot. It's not fixing your sleep or your alarm time. It's giving your body what it needs so the dark mornings don't tank you before you even start. One scoop cold water every morning before anything else. AG1 Next Gen has 75 plus ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, pre and probiotics, and

• 23:49Stavros Halkias?

  you're not gonna believe this, superfoods. It's backed by four separate gold standard clinical trials and specifically formulated to support immune defense. So you could stay ahead of the season. I'm loving AG1. You know, I'm back in, I'm back at it with the health. Stavi gets ripped is coming back. AG1 is now, now they're a nice building block to me. Keep checking back, folks. Let's see how it's going. I'm feeling more energetic. I'm ready to go. And I will say, other little vitamin, I've tried a lot of stuff. The taste of AG1 is pretty delectable while you're getting healthy. Go to drinkag1.com/stavi and for a limited time, get a free immune support bundle, including a bottle of omega three

• 24:31Stavros Halkias?

  fish oil and a bottle of vitamin D3K2 with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/stavi.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  Veep's stimming, stimming.

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  It was a great, look, special's very funny. You looked great. Uh, the, your family was there. That was awesome.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  The look, like, doesn't she look so good?

• 24:54Stavros Halkias?

  You look incredible.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  Like, it's like, I'm like, you need to be on a big screen every day for the rest of life.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  That's kind of what I want. Like, cause I like not, we were talking about this in the car. I don't like to lead with hot.

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  Cause I'm just like, it annoys me or I get mad when people are leading with hot. Cause it makes me feel bad.

• 25:13Stavros Halkias?

  You think no one should lead with hot?

• 25:15Speaker 02

  I think some people can.

• 25:17Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  And make it fun, but there's some people, you can tell through the phone when it's nefarious.

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Like, I think there is like, uh, like putting it on where it's.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  You can't, but I can.

• 25:28Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. When you're saying it's nefarious, you mean hot? So you're saying lead with hot? Cause as long as you're not, what you're saying is there's a hint of, let me, let me see if I know what you're saying. The nefarious is I'm hot and there's an implied like, maybe you could fuck me if things go your, my way. Or like you're using, are you, when you're saying it's nefarious, it's like, are they, is the hot person sort of like implicitly trying to lead on their audience? Is that what you're saying?

• 25:56Speaker 02

  Or no, you're putting, there's a way where you can make women feel bad by how you're looking hot. Do you know what I'm saying?

• 26:03Speaker 03

  I mean, it's like literally, it's like, it's.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  Or you can empower.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  It's like skinny. It's like, like these types of things that it's like, I'm going to put on to make you strive for. And I think some people can use it.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  It's looking dead serious.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  As a wall to be like, what I'm saying is not actually that funny. And so it's like, we are at this point where it's like, okay, we, you know, we have like hot comedians.

• 26:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  We have, and I think that's always been the case, but it's like, well, hasn't it been, you know, why can't we just wear like pants and a t-shirt?

• 26:37Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  And then it's like, well, now it's like such like, you have to be.

• 26:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's true.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  A multi hyphenate of everything where it's like model, actress, comedian, influencer, magician, sex worker, prostitute.

• 26:52Stavros Halkias?

  This sounds like a really cool person.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  I'm like, that's my job. It's me. It's us. It's us, bitch. We're here. Ten bucks for a blowjob.

• 27:01Stavros Halkias?

  And then, and then like, and then it's like the nut comes out of my mouth.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 27:07Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a brat, bro.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  JK Rowling.

• 27:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's my own jizz.

• 27:12Stavros Halkias?

  You're a really good sex worker slash magician.

• 27:15Speaker 03

  No, literally.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Now pay $19.99.

• 27:22Stavros Halkias?

  So you're saying there's like, I, I, maybe there's another thing where it's like, maybe this is maybe the same thing, but something I've noticed is that there's also you really overdo it when you're doing some big, like, I try and avoid it too, where it's like, I don't want to not be myself. I don't want to be so like, spend all this money on like wearing clothes I would never wear.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:44Stavros Halkias?

  And if you're a woman, it's different.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Like I'm this now.

• 27:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And for women, it's even more like you could go super glam with it if you wanted to, or like super over the top. And it's like, who the fuck is that? That's not the person. There is, that is something with specials in general that I think about where it's like, it should still be the way you, it should just be the best version of this material, not a complete put upon thing that you're trying to trick people into thinking who you are.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  Right. I also feel like personally, I'm trying to be like, I want to be accessible and make people feel good about themselves. Like, that's why I'm doing it.

• 28:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  So I don't know. I don't want to be like, like, I don't want you to be thinking about sex. I do look in the special.

• 28:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  But like.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  I'm like, I'm thinking about sex the whole time.

• 28:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  I'm like, I'm watching your fingers on your pussy.

• 28:35Stavros Halkias?

  Every joke's about you jacking off or getting jacked off.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  But it is joy and relatable. You just happen to also be beautiful and sexy.

• 28:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Where I think it's like, it's personal. Like, it's like you, your fam, like it cuts to your family. Like, it's like, you're talking about like.

• 28:49Stavros Halkias?

  Parents being right there is awesome.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  No, it's like, it's so, and it's personal. It's, and it's where it's like, I think be with like, there can be this wall where it's like, oh, it's actually not personal. Like anybody could be saying it. Where it's like yours is like the narrative, the artistry, the aesthetic, like is so you and nobody else could do that.

• 29:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's a really good point. The like, that you could, cause there's a way to just be generic hot that completely washes over any of the stuff that makes an individual performer special that a lot of people go for when they're like being, when it's, and I sort of get it too, because it's like, yeah, these are the nicest cameras that are ever going to be pointed at me.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I kind of want to look good.

• 29:27Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, listen, we're talking to somebody who got famous when he was 350 pounds and five seven. You know what I mean?

• 29:34Speaker 03

  And now how much?

• 29:36Stavros Halkias?

  A nice 280.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Okay. And how tall?

• 29:39Stavros Halkias?

  I'm, my growth spurt's kicking in any day now. So by tomorrow, it'll be 286 feet. Like today, I'm still around five seven.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  I got some heels that I think could fit you.

• 29:47Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  Eleven and a half quadruple E. Do you wear quadruple E?

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Yes, maybe some bras as well.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  I know. It is like different, like for guys, like I'm just like, yeah, like, it's like, I don't know, like people are like, even like Netflix specials, like people are churning out like three Netflix specials a year. And it's like, who is even just like, I'm like, who is styling that? Like, who is styling? And it's like, in one way, it's beautiful that there's an art form where it actually doesn't really matter what you wear. And it's like who you are, what you say, but then it's just like, that's just not the case for women, you know?

• 30:25Speaker 02

  It's like, yes. And honestly, I want to be a damn actress. And sometimes you gotta look like an actress. Like when I go out, I also like looking like shit online. And then when you see me in person, it's like, oh, I didn't know.

• 30:39Stavros Halkias?

  Set the bar nice and low.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  I like that. Like, yes.

• 30:46Stavros Halkias?

  Set the bar nice and low.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  But I feel like it makes people like me, that I look like, or that I'm myself.

• 30:51Stavros Halkias?

  I also love that you're pretending this is some grand plan you have and not just what happens in the way you live your life, that you look like you are.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  But if we're gonna look at it.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  No, it's really intentional that you see my neck rolls and my titty is flopping out and there's one big hair that's intentional for my acting career.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  That's, I feel that way.

• 31:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's why I look like shit in my Instagram stories for my, for my career.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  What don't we understand?

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Completely.

• 31:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I get that. I'm excited. I'm excited for, I mean, I've thought about that, how I want to be perceived. I will, there will be a toupee era of my life. I can't wait for that.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Oh, your weave, weave era?

• 31:37Stavros Halkias?

  Wait for that. We're still, I'm gonna grow the bald pony a little longer and then I'm gonna enjoy that, I think, for the rest of this year. And then who knows? I don't know. I can't, I'm actually starting to think about an era past bald ponytail, which I never thought I'd get past.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Wow, like full bald?

• 31:54Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. I mean, not, not, I don't think I'll go buzz cut again, but just, you know, let's get creative.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 32:00Stavros Halkias?

  Let's get some weird balding haircuts going.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Technology is like, it's there.

• 32:05Stavros Halkias?

  But I don't wanna, I see it as cowardice to get, to get a transplant right now.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  I completely agree. This is the sexiest thing you could possibly do.

• 32:14Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. I might just go, I might just go, you know, Tony Soprano with it short, you know?

• 32:20Speaker 03

  Do a backbang. Bang's in the back.

• 32:22Stavros Halkias?

  That would be really fun, too.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Do a backbang.

• 32:24Stavros Halkias?

  I kinda, I kinda do wanna do the like-

• 32:25Speaker 03

  Hitler stash backbang.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  Like fade to long, like a long, long fucking mullet in the back.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Or have you seen when people slick what you have forward and then you cut it like a perfect line? My uncle's caseworker used to do that.

• 32:47Stavros Halkias?

  The perfect person in your life to remember a hairstyle.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  That is so funny.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  My uncle was in the hospital with swollen legs and he tried to get me to sign, he, he has bastard's luck, my uncle. Like anytime, he was supposed to go to court for not paying rent for 18 months at my grandma's apartment. And that happened to be the time that he was in the hospital, so he got to miss it, but they needed a doctor's signature. And the caseworker was like, do you have good handwriting for me? Because they couldn't find the doctor, so he wanted me to sign for it.

• 33:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like it's a permission slip to the zoo?

• 33:29Speaker 02

  When I was in high school.

• 33:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's crazy. The caseworker wanted to do this.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Well, he's also my uncle's friend. There was something going on.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  Like friend?

• 33:38Speaker 02

  And his name was-

• 33:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay. Maybe we blooped that out, eldest.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  He needs work.

• 33:49Stavros Halkias?

  Was he a social worker? When you say caseworker?

• 33:51Speaker 02

  I do not know what this man did. He looks like a drug addict.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  He was probably a drug addict.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  He's probably a drug addict that says, I am a social worker.

• 34:01Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Honestly, that's still what it is. Oh, sorry, caseworker.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Like he was suppo-, what I gathered was that he was gonna talk to the judge and bring the signed paper to the judge with my signature.

• 34:13Stavros Halkias?

  He was just his friend?

• 34:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:15Stavros Halkias?

  Who's not a lawyer?

• 34:17Speaker 02

  He's a caseworker.

• 34:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome. I mean, you describing, I mean, truly, your upbringing is hysterical. It's the fact that you're even a semi, like cogent person.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Right.

• 34:30Stavros Halkias?

  The fact that you're not, that you, like, you're not an insane trainer. Like, you're obviously crazy in certain ways.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 34:36Stavros Halkias?

  But-

• 34:36Speaker 02

  I have anger problems.

• 34:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  But you could be like full, like, a meth head.

• 34:42Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  You could be like fully-

• 34:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's kinda crazy or not. The, the grandma's apartment in the special is so, like, your uncle. So basically, your grandma ran a flop house for the failed members of your family.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 34:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And you, and you spent a lot of time there as a child.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  As a kid, yeah.

• 35:01Speaker 03

  And there's lots of rugs.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Drying.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  There's lots of rugs, all over the rug.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  I have this drawing I just found. Um, it's from 2004, so I was 12. And it's just a drawing of a woman and under it says, Miss Prostitutes.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  Oh, I saw that. Oh, my God. I saw it, I was like, that's me.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  That I use like onion, like you know what onions come in, like the fishnet? I like cut that and glued it as the fishnets.

• 35:30Stavros Halkias?

  So you're doing like 3D collage?

• 35:32Speaker 02

  Yes, I've always been like creative.

• 35:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  I mean, put that in a pilot past me.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Miss Prostitutes.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  I'm begging, just like we're talking about being an actress, I'm like, I'm begging just to be, we're going back in time, I'll be a prostitute. I'll be dead prostitute number one. Like, we're not even there anymore. That was like 30 years ago. We're now off. It's like, you know, what are we gonna do?

• 35:55Stavros Halkias?

  You could be a live prostitute. Don't sell yourself.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  Look at this, walking around in these-

• 35:59Stavros Halkias?

  You could have lions.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Cheap, though. Still cheap. Still cheap as fuck. I wish I was more expensive.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Da, da, da, da. Sounds like you're like a meth head prostitute.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Definitely. I'll take some Adderall.

• 36:15Stavros Halkias?

  What was the, what was the, you're growing up in Western Mass in a, in a Aravaic doctor's home. What does that look like? Are you, are you living on a commune?

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Her family's awesome.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, it's great. Parents are no longer together, but you know, they are both on their own spiritual journeys now. They originally met doing, um, West African drumming and dancing and then-

• 36:38Stavros Halkias?

  This is, by the way, this is what conservatives think. How you create a trans-

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:43Stavros Halkias?

  Daughter. They think if you do too much-

• 36:45Speaker 03

  No, literally.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  Drumming, if you do, if you do too much stuff from other cultures, your child will become trans.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  Completely. No, I was indoctrinated. And then I was indoctrinating everybody else. It's so weird because I didn't know like any gay or trans people really growing up in my town. And now it's like upstate and Western Mass is like riddled with them. Like you can find them in every hole in a tree. It is so much, but yeah, it was, I mean-

• 37:15Stavros Halkias?

  So they met, sorry, I would love to go back to the meet at the-

• 37:17Speaker 03

  So they meet, yeah, my dad's drumming, mom's dancing.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  They, you know, dad's a deadhead.

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  Awesome.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  Mom is a free spirit dancer, doctor. And then they move to Western Mass, older brother, me, then it's like very, you know, I'm like playing sports, start an improv group, basically, and then immediately when I leave, it's like, okay, something's up. Like literally, something is up. I'm like, right, so I was looking at gay Tumblr porn for quite a while. I was like, why do I love Tumblr? I'm like reposting like baby animals. Like, I'm like, sure, why not? And then, then I would like go back and visit in college and that's when I definitely was, um, I was, I was jerking some people off

• 38:10Speaker 03

  and doing some things for a little bit of cash.

• 38:12Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  And it's like, girl, your mom's a doctor. Like, how much do you need that?

• 38:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 38:18Speaker 03

  Like in some ways, but also I'm like, it was-

• 38:20Speaker 02

  It was an interest.

• 38:21Stavros Halkias?

  That was more spiritual, that was your drumming. That was your African drumming.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  It was like explorative, creatively, financially, um, and then spiritually. And so it was like, also, it's like, when you go back to your hometown, I don't know, maybe you both feel this, it's like that repression kind of immediately comes back. Where it's like, you're that kid again that was like late in sixth grade. Like, you're like on the rug again, like humping that shit. Like, and it, and it feels, it's like hard and scary, but also like kind of sexy almost in some ways. And I'm like, there's nothing sexier than money sometimes. But I left that to the side.

• 39:01Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  I left it to the side and then-

• 39:03Stavros Halkias?

  Those in your youth, it sounds like, coming back from college.

• 39:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was like very much teeny.

• 39:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  And then I tried to dabble recently, but now, you know, I'm trying to be an actress hooker instead of like a real one.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  We're shooting for the fucking stars here.

• 39:20Stavros Halkias?

  One is a much more reliable, uh-

• 39:23Speaker 03

  No, it's true.

• 39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Much more reliable.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  It's literally, I'm like, I'm a touring standup comedian.

• 39:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  I'm in a writer's room. I still probably could make more as a bartender or a hooker.

• 39:33Stavros Halkias?

  Without, without question. And it wouldn't be less embarrassing.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  It would be like, like-

• 39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Cooler. Are you kidding me?

• 39:39Speaker 03

  Sex workers are respected.

• 39:40Stavros Halkias?

  Much more than standup, without question.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  Writers?

• 39:44Stavros Halkias?

  I, it is, yeah, I respect, I respect somebody, you just have to suck a stranger off at work?

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Have you ever paid anyone for sex?

• 39:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for sure. I was, when I'll go to like Europe, we go to, I've done an Amsterdam situation.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  Like red light district vibe?

• 40:02Stavros Halkias?

  District vibe. When, you know, you're, you know, you're on vacation.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  You got a vacation.

• 40:07Stavros Halkias?

  If I went to Rome, I would go to the Colosseum, you know what I mean? But I happen to be in Amsterdam, so I'm gonna go to the red light district.

• 40:13Speaker 03

  What's your like type of hooker?

• 40:15Stavros Halkias?

  You know, I just, I like to just walk around and just be like, oh, nice. I'd like to fuck that lady. Hey, I'd like to fuck that lady.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  Have you gone, have you gone trans?

• 40:25Stavros Halkias?

  I have not gone trans. I've also haven't done it that much, to be honest. It's only been, there was only one lady with hu- I just like, truly just saw the first lady with huge tits and like, big lips. Just like Eastern European, like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  You're like, yeah. You're like, I'm just seeing it's like the first one.

• 40:42Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, yeah.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  You're like, right, that's you.

• 40:44Stavros Halkias?

  And this will be right here.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  You're in a golf cart or something.

• 40:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just obese American in a rascal scooter, trying to buy pussy in Europe.

• 40:55Speaker 03

  You're like on one of those like one wheel.

• 40:57Stavros Halkias?

  Can you, uh, can you lift my stomach and get my dick out of it, out from under there?

• 41:04Speaker 03

  I can't see it. I can't see it. Where's the dick? Where's the dick?

• 41:09Stavros Halkias?

  Excuse me, I'm the customer. I don't want to be talked to this way.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  I'm seeing three bowls, three bowls, the normal three bowls.

• 41:17Stavros Halkias?

  Here's eight more euros to pretend my dick is huge, please.

• 41:22Speaker 03

  I'm joking, I'm dying, sir. I'm dying, I'm dying.

• 41:26Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, I just nod immediately, thank you. And thank you very much.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  So you've never gone, you've never gone tranny? You've never gone to trans though?

• 41:33Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, I'm open.

• 41:35Speaker 03

  Even in your, in your normal life?

• 41:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  You got, no, this, we were just talking, I'm like, Edie's kind of, um, an ethical chaser. An ethical chaser.

• 41:45Stavros Halkias?

  Is that the tip you're on right now, Edie? We haven't caught up in a while.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  I do, I, I've always been this way. I do like, it's hot, sorry.

• 41:52Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, well, I can't exactly even tell what your sec- like sexuality is, like, the stuff you're into is just, it's, it feels like it's re- it's like so abstract from the actual act of sex.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, one thousand percent.

• 42:06Stavros Halkias?

  You're describing in the special, you're just like, it's just like, you want to see like filth and reality and just like, and that's what gets you fucking horny and it's like,

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:16Stavros Halkias?

  And to me, I'm like, yes, I get that. I, I understand not wanting how fake everything is and under- I understand when people are like, I can't really get into like, you know, mainstream porn because it's so obviously fake, but at the same time, I want-

• 42:28Speaker 02

  Well, I can watch that too. I, I like, it's, there's a long list.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  The spectrum, you're on the spectrum.

• 42:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're, you're describing like just, yeah, I believe it was like the, the, actually kind of similar to what we just talked about, me with, in Amsterdam, where it's just like the fattest guy of all time with his littlest dick in a disgusting room. And to you, it's just like, well, that's real, right? Is that, was that the appeal to that joke? That it's, that it's authentic, the authenticity gets you horny?

• 42:56Speaker 02

  It's undeniable, like, I like, when I'm watching that, I can see that, that it's real, yeah. I'm like, yeah, that is-

• 43:05Stavros Halkias?

  It's pure authenticity.

• 43:06Speaker 02

  It's pure, and like, that person, like, I don't know, seemed like a strong guy with abs, like, I don't care what he wants. Because what he wants is probably, whatever he wants, like, a guy who doesn't get what he wants, getting what he wants.

• 43:24Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so when someone's fucked up, or when someone's on the bottom of society, them finally getting to enjoy themselves is so much richer.

• 43:31Speaker 02

  And I want to give it to them.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Yes, and it's powerful. It's like, in this like moment we're in of this trigger warning, maybe bleep this, clavicular.

• 43:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  Clavicular down, where it's like, oh, we're trying to become these, you know, Greek god manosphere, whatever, where it's like, oh, there's, in culture where it's like, no, we like bodies and we like people to like have bodies and like faces and be actually real. And I think in the next five years, like, we're gonna get fat again. Fat asses will be bad. Hailey Bieber, you're gonna be fat, bitch.

• 44:09Stavros Halkias?

  It pisses me off. We finally had huge titties and big asses as culture.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 44:15Stavros Halkias?

  And now they're trying to take that from us? No.

• 44:18Speaker 02

  Who was that crazy, Ice Spice? This really made me sick. When Ice Spice got skinny and then everyone was mad. And then she got thick again. And being like, the ice melted. And then she got thick again and was saying like, I'm back, y'all, like, do you like me now?

• 44:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  That like, was heroin.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean-

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Well, I think that's like-

• 44:40Stavros Halkias?

  Of course. What you're describing is like, yeah, we objectify female pop stars.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 44:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Britney Spears, the worst disgusting-

• 44:48Speaker 02

  So shamelessly, like, be like, oh, I'm sorry, it's back, I got back. I ate my oats.

• 44:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  Right, where it's like this even.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  But they all are like that. What are you talking about? Once you sign in for that, once you, well, yeah, how are you doing right? What's the special called? I'm Just Like You And It Sucks? And you're talking about how all the money from your success is gone?

• 45:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's what principles gets you.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  I don't care.

• 45:12Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I know, that's cool.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  I'd rather be at the bottom.

• 45:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's cool.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Well, we'll do like a car wash, but it'll be like a dick sucking type of thing.

• 45:19Stavros Halkias?

  That's cool.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  And we'll raise money for special.

• 45:24Speaker 03

  You still, you pull up in the golf cart?

• 45:28Speaker 03

  Or do you, where do you think you would both, this is about like retirement, where do you see yourself?

• 45:33Stavros Halkias?

  Great question.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Like, you have a beautiful career, as you both have and do. I admire both of you, you know, where are you? Are you in Florida golf cart? Are you in a different country? Are you right back here?

• 45:48Stavros Halkias?

  I'm, I'm in Greece. I, I would, I would say I'm in Greece half the time and here half. I do love New York for real. And so I think that's kind of, my, my goal would be to be here whenever it's nice, when I'm retired, and then like just be gone when it's not, like in the summer, just be in Greece. That's the dream.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's all I've ever wanted in my life. It's like, if I could be, because I remember growing up, there, even when you're like in Greek town in Baltimore, even these families that were doing just okay, they would have these restaurants, these Greek restaurants, and then there would, there would be a sign on the door for three months. And they're like, we're in Greece, we'll be back in literally the fall. And I just remember being like, that's incredible. And it's like, and those people are not rich, right? But they just have an awesome life. And I just remember being like, I want to get there, where I just like, I'm just like, don't even fucking look at me for the summer. I'm on a fucking beach until like mid September, you know what I mean? Like, I'll come back to New York, that's my dream, that's my, and I just love, I don't know, I love being on, I love being on, on the side of a beach and like, you know, a hammock.

• 46:51Speaker 02

  Fucking beach.

• 46:52Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a beach guy, big time.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Oh my god, it's the best place ever. Being naked on the beach is like-

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god, in the water. That's what we're meant to do. Swim in the earth.

• 47:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  I'm a lake girl.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Love a lake too.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  I love a lake.

• 47:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Are you gonna lake retire, you think? What do you think? Where do you see yourself?

• 47:11Speaker 03

  I definitely like want like lake house. Like, I'm like, I want to watch heat lightning on a rocking chair on a porch.

• 47:18Stavros Halkias?

  A rocking chair is a huge part of retirement. Rocking chair is a huge part of being old as fuck.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  Let us stem. Let us stem for until-

• 47:26Stavros Halkias?

  Whittling, rocking chair, that's all stemming.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know, they were all doing that shit.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  I mean, I'd even like, I might country club it too.

• 47:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I could see that. I could see that.

• 47:36Speaker 03

  But the thing is, it's like, I do have like the illness where it's like, I think I will probably work till I die, like at least like create, like I just like have to, like, I'll be like, okay, let's, um, write a pilot about playing bridge or something. Doing pickleball. Yeah, I'm like, so I'm playing, I love playing pickleball. Now it's a reality show.

• 47:57Stavros Halkias?

  But see, to me, the truth, the, like, when you fantasize about retirement, it's that I'm fantasizing about not being programmed that way. I'm fantasizing about just chilling the fuck out.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  I know how to relax, is what I'll say. Like, I can be in work mode and then I really can just-

• 48:16Stavros Halkias?

  And what about you?

• 48:16Speaker 03

  What's your relax?

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Um, have you been to Martha's Vineyard?

• 48:20Speaker 03

  I've been to the other one, the one that nearby. Well, I've been to Cape Cod.

• 48:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, maybe I've been to Cape Cod. This is bizarre that you-

• 48:28Speaker 02

  Well, my boyfriend's rich and I'm different now. And I don't fucking care.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Wait, he's rich?

• 48:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 48:36Speaker 03

  Like, family?

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Family.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Wait, what?

• 48:39Speaker 02

  My mom is literally like-

• 48:40Speaker 03

  I didn't know this.

• 48:42Stavros Halkias?

  Your mom's like, yeah, we're going to the one so good.

• 48:46Speaker 02

  She's so happy.

• 48:47Stavros Halkias?

  You want to talk about a movie? You want to talk about a white, I want White Lotus, but they also invite your family?

• 48:53Speaker 03

  No, literally.

• 48:57Speaker 03

  She's like itching your ass? She's like, why is, why is your mom fingering your ass?

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Like meth pipe, like, at the yoga?

• 49:07Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's so, it's just really funny to, to say that-

• 49:10Speaker 02

  That place is magical. Or like, I really, I just went with my boyfriend and a group of my friends. And there was like no hot water, so, or one of my friends was like, the hot water isn't working. And I was like, did someone tell Ethan? And my friend was like, you've changed. Like, you're different. I was like, oh, we have to tell the owner of the house.

• 49:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to tell the help.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  It's amazing, like, it's so nice.

• 49:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's really funny to say both that the, you've, you've said the phrase, my uncle's caseworker and Martha's Vineyard are the same within an hour? You're maybe the only person that's ever done that.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  I am having a hard time, or it's hard in the relationship too. Like, I get angry. I have problems with it.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  I'm sure there's like resentment.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  And like, his mom and my mom, we're, we also went to high school together, me and my boyfriend. So like, we grew up five minutes from each other, but completely different.

• 50:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking nuts, yeah.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  It's nuts, it's hard. But for me, it's awesome. Um, for him, I'm like, there's nowhere really for us to go.

• 50:14Speaker 03

  Well, it's so interesting because it is like, it's like my family is like that. He's the exact type of Jewish boy slash family you want to marry into.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  It's like, literally, that's like, you did it. You accomplished ancestrally.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  I'm not. But it is annoying sometimes. Or like, our moms were moving at the same time. My mom bought a studio apartment. It's a room.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  Your mom's throwing stuff in a Glad bag?

• 50:42Stavros Halkias?

  She, your mom's packing up her bindle and putting it on a stick?

• 50:49Stavros Halkias?

  And fucking eat Guatemalans or packing up his mom's home?

• 50:56Speaker 02

  It's crazy. And I have to be like.

• 50:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awesome. The secret is to grow up poor and then get rich.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 51:05Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I get to like have this superiority over like, well, I mean, I, I'm a self-made man.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 51:11Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, but it still is kind of annoying. I mean, the thing about getting money, it's like that annoys, that's been the most annoying part is who you're now around. It's like, rich people aren't fun.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  I don't want to be around them.

• 51:21Stavros Halkias?

  Like, and it's not even, it's not even the, the whoever made the money usually is kind of interesting, even if they're evil. They're at least they have like an interesting ambition, but most rich people are somebody's kids or grandkids. That most rich people didn't work for shit. And so when you go to these like nice places, you're just surrounded by, like I'm surrounded by like 20 year olds who haven't worked hard at all at anything and have a, like a really cunty attitude. And that's so fucking annoying, but.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  And as they get older and they're more in the real world, I feel like they're kind of grappling with that. Like they hate it about themselves. Or some of my friends hated about themselves.

• 51:55Stavros Halkias?

  Well, they do.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  But then I'm like, talk to each other about that.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  The thing where it is like, it's like you want to suffer. Like it's like when I went to like, you know, private liberal arts college, it's like all these like really generationally like LA, New York wealthy people come and it's like, they're cosplaying as poor.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  Like I'm broke, I'm broke.

• 52:14Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 52:15Speaker 03

  Like I'm broke. And then it's like, yeah. And then you have people, it's like, okay, sure. I suffered in my own ways, but now it's like, I'm going and like being a hooker. Like, wait, what? Like, it's like, you feel like you need to suffer in these ways that it's like, because you didn't have that in the same way.

• 52:33Stavros Halkias?

  I think that definitely happens.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  I'm a little bit more generational of like New York Jews and like, like everybody trying. I mean, like, well, it's like, I'm the first generation that gets to be an artist. It's like my grandma, my great, like everybody like wanted to be an artist, but they had to be like teachers or like mafia members or whatever. And now it's like, I get to be the artist.

• 52:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 03

  Wait, speaking of, so I watched like one clip. Who was the girl who kept saying tranny, tranny, tranny?

• 53:02Stavros Halkias?

  Jordan, Jordan Jensen.

• 53:04Speaker 03

  So I had to break her record for saying it more.

• 53:06Stavros Halkias?

  You want to run it? Yeah, yeah. How many was it, Eldis? All right. Can you give us six in a row?

• 53:10Speaker 03

  What's the count?

• 53:12Stavros Halkias?

  Say that slur.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  What?

• 53:27Speaker 03

  It's like, why?

• 53:28Stavros Halkias?

  That's really good. Well, you broke the record. You broke the record. She has a lot of.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  She has something, okay.

• 53:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's got something going on, but she's cool. She figured it out.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  Very good. And that's what this is about. It's about figuring out things live. Because people on the internet yell at you.

• 53:48Stavros Halkias?

  They really do. But the new, the good news is you now have the record. You have, you have the, the T-bomb record.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  That's something, huh?

• 53:56Speaker 03

  Hey, that's something.

• 53:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's, we'll make a plaque.

• 54:00Stavros Halkias?

  Honestly, we literally will.

• 54:04Stavros Halkias?

  But I do think it's time, we're having, I'm having a great time and you'll have to come back gals, but I do think we need to get to, we need to get some. We need to get to, we need to get to our fucking calls here, Eldis, right? As much, this happens when, when you're on ED, cause I just, everything I hear about your family, I could ask 1,000 follow-up questions on. But let's, let's get to some, some calls here.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  You should come with your parents.

• 54:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my fucking God. Oh my God. Yes, you should.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  I'll kill them.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  That's actually an interesting podcast. Like it's like a comedian and their parents and their divorced parents.

• 54:40Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, her parents, it's just so funny that you're, anyway, that's a.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  Ooh, I'm loving this already.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Next time.

• 54:46Stavros Halkias?

  And let's hit the Stavies World hotline presented by Visible.

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• 55:20Speaker 04

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• 55:52Speaker 05

  Peace of a eldest, whatever esteemed guest. I feel like I am obligated to say that as whatever else says. Anyway, but I'm in my early 30s. I've been married for a few years.

• 56:06Speaker 05

  When we, when I started dating this woman that I'm now married to, she wasn't very sexually liberated. She wasn't like a virgin. She had had sex in high school, but she had like never masturbated. She never had a pussy before. And, uh, you know, through time, we kind of fixed that together. Now she comes good. Every time we have sex, she like squirts a little bit.

• 56:28Stavros Halkias?

  Just a little bit.

• 56:30Speaker 05

  But so a few months ago, we were drunk and we decided to fuck and she was really taking charge. But in all the wildness, I, uh, you know, touched her butthole a little bit.

• 56:39Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 56:40Speaker 05

  And she came so hard, like the hardest I've ever.

• 56:43Stavros Halkias?

  This guy's voice is awesome.

• 56:46Stavros Halkias?

  I love when my, I have sex with my girlfriend.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  She comes hard from her butthole.

• 56:50Stavros Halkias?

  From butthole touching. She had squat from a butthole. I think it was a shot, but still calm nonetheless. Keep going.

• 56:58Speaker 05

  So hard. Since then, uh, when the mood strikes, you know, I'll touch her butthole a little. And every time I do, it's the same thing. She's coming way harder than, you know, the average sex. But the other night while we were lying in bed, we had one of those butthole encounters and I thought I'd ask, even after, I thought I'd ask, do you like when I touch your butthole? It seems like every time I do, it's really a time for you. And she said, not really. I, I don't think it's doing anything for me. And I said, well, do you want me to stop? And she said, kinda. All right. Which I was surprised about because the correlation is crazy. This has been every time that I've touched her butthole, uh, the, uh, I'm so hard.

• 57:40Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 57:41Speaker 05

  I think she's just embarrassed about liking it and she doesn't want to fess up because she's, you know, still got a little bit of that shelteredness. Her mouth is telling me one thing, her body's telling me another.

• 57:51Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, brother.

• 57:52Speaker 05

  Should I keep touching my butthole?

• 57:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's a tough sentence, man. That's a real tough sentence.

• 57:57Speaker 05

  Really, really hard. Also, I just want to be clear. It is like a, you know, like a, like a mic test, you know, just a little pressure on there. I'm not picking anything in there, just for clarification.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  Thanks for clarifying that. I was thinking about how your finger, if it was inside or outside in your butthole encounters. Like he can't say anal. Like he's allergic to that.

• 58:20Stavros Halkias?

  It's interesting. Well, I was, I sort of was on, I sort of was hearing what he was saying until he was like, her body's telling me one thing and her mouth's telling me like, no, not, very few non-rapists have used that term. Well, you just don't want to be using rapist parlance. And unfortunately that is what you're doing with that.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  Well, it's like you've touched her butthole five times and then you ask, is this okay?

• 58:45Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 58:45Speaker 03

  And so it's like, well, we can just communicate about sex right off the bat. Where it's like, it's not a crazy thing. I think probably straight guys are just like, just like a butthole is just so crazy for them to like process as a thing. And so it's like, yeah, what if you were, where it's like, okay, maybe she does like it, but she's now uncomfortable because you've touched it a bunch and you haven't talked about it.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe ask in the moment.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:14Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. In the moment's kinda, I feel like it's the kind of thing where, I don't think there's anything wrong with like kind of,

• 59:22Stavros Halkias?

  uh, doing the debrief if you've been kind of like slowly working your way up to something. Cause in the moment, I do, I do feel like it's better before or after personally, cause in the moment it's, it's just such a, the, I don't know, just a different energy to be having a,

• 59:35Speaker 03

  Right.

• 59:35Stavros Halkias?

  You're almost having like a logistical conversation.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  I mean, you could say you want it, you want your butthole?

• 59:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, that's true. Very.

• 59:42Speaker 02

  You want butthole?

• 59:42Speaker 03

  But like, what if it's like, she's like.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  Whisper it, that's hotter maybe?

• 59:46Speaker 03

  But maybe she wants to like prep her butthole more before. So maybe it's, she's like in her head about it.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  She said kinda.

• 59:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  The two of them.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  Right.

• 59:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, this is like. This is tough communicating on both parts.

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  I'm also like, it's hard for me. It's like, I want to be respectful, but I'm like, you haven't eaten her ass yet and she hasn't eaten yours? It's like, what are we doing then in sex? I don't know. And so, but I'm like, yeah, she's, I don't know. Especially if this guy was, this is honestly good for you for asking about this, cause maybe this is the first time you've ever even thought about consent with that voice. And also asking for consent with like, um, what I, could I say speech impediment?

• 1:00:32Stavros Halkias?

  What is your heavy regional accent?

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  She didn't masturbate.

• 1:00:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. She didn't even masturbate a pussy.

• 1:00:39Stavros Halkias?

  I, I would say, now look, the other thing is you, it seems like you just don't really talk about it that much. And there's nothing wrong with sort of like, you broached the topic. Maybe she, she was also caught a little off guard. Maybe, look, he might be a little right here. Maybe she still is a little sheltered, whatever. You can still keep having a conversation, right? Like you can say, hey, like the, before the next time you look up, you'd be like, hey, remember that last talk we had? Cause also after and before that, those are different energies, right? Like, like how many times you've beaten off to something and been like, I should set my laptop on fire. You know what I mean? You're like.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  It's the post-noc clarity. Me every time.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Every time.

• 1:01:17Stavros Halkias?

  So maybe she was in that vibe, right? Where she had just busted and she's ashamed of herself now. So now let's have, let's try this conversation.

• 1:01:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:01:26Stavros Halkias?

  Let's have it before next time. You know what I mean? Just.

• 1:01:28Speaker 03

  And she probably has her own, it's like, both of you maybe should like see a sex therapist or counselor and she probably has her own, um. Insecurities about her butthole, or maybe somebody mistreated her butthole before. And so it's like, you just don't know. And so you have to like, yeah, I think before, honestly.

• 1:01:46Stavros Halkias?

  I think before as well.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  Or, yeah, like even during, anything but after, anything but after.

• 1:01:51Stavros Halkias?

  Or even like, sometimes completely not even around sex.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Which is the best time.

• 1:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yes, yes. Where it's not charged at all. It's not.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  Hey, I've been thinking about this.

• 1:02:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  At dinner.

• 1:02:06Stavros Halkias?

  Dinner, a nice brunch, having a cup of coffee.

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  Well, and I think, yeah, I think that's right. And it's like.

• 1:02:12Speaker 02

  Eating some chocolate ice cream.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:15Stavros Halkias?

  Eating a donut.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  Chocolate pudding squirting out.

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  It's like, you need to be able to like, say like, anal, you need to be able to like, have the vocabulary if you want to be doing that. You know what I mean? It's like, he's beating around the bush. Where I'm like, just say what you want, or like, your desire, and then maybe she'll be like, okay, like, it's okay for me to like, how he says.

• 1:02:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:46Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:02:46Stavros Halkias?

  So I think, look, in general, they seem to be on some kind of little journey here. She's coming out of her shell, whatever. Keep the talking, keep the conversation going. It seems like, you know, if she's busting, that's a huge, you know.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  She's coming super hard?

• 1:03:00Stavros Halkias?

  She's busting hard, that's great. Keep that going, keep the conversation going, my friend.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  Literally. Next time, next time he calls, he's gonna be like, yeah, she ate my ass.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  She ate my butthole.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  She ate my butthole.

• 1:03:15Stavros Halkias?

  What else we got, LD? Uh oh, what the fuck?

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  I'm feeling a little.

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit. Oh my god.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  We only live for a few.

• 1:03:25Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ. It's time to, oh, it's time for the motherfucking fucked up ass question of the fucking week. Brought to you by the little fucker for some Twisted Tea.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:42Speaker 02

  I'm loco for Twisted Tea.

• 1:03:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's good stuff.

• 1:03:50Speaker 03

  I really wanna pour this on my head.

• 1:03:52Stavros Halkias?

  Don't do it, don't do it. I appreciate the fact that you want to, though, that's good. Eldis, what's this week's fucked up ass question of the motherfucking week? Brought to you by our pals at Twisted Tea. And you know, there's no beverage for the summertime quite like Twisted Tea. I think we can all agree on that. What is the question this week, Eldis?

• 1:04:12Speaker 06

  Stabby, Eldis, esteemed guests, um, hope you guys are doing well, man. I got a fun one for you today.

• 1:04:25Speaker 06

  So my brother is getting married in a couple of weeks and we haven't always had the best relationship. Uh, I kind of beat the shit out of him a lot when we were kids.

• 1:04:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so you're fully the villain?

• 1:04:41Speaker 06

  Like that. So, you know, it's been rocky a little bit, but you know, we're older now. So we're good for the most part, but, um, his wife to be and I had a pretty rocky start.

• 1:04:56Stavros Halkias?

  With his fucking fiancee too? I used to beat the shit out of her.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  And she didn't like that.

• 1:05:04Stavros Halkias?

  That, but we're good now for the most part.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Does it count as domestic violence if it was my brother's wife?

• 1:05:17Speaker 06

  Mostly because of me, actually entirely because of me.

• 1:05:22Speaker 03

  He's taking accountability.

• 1:05:23Speaker 06

  Basically, one of the first times I met her, we were moving a bunch of stuff in my parents' house and she just like, didn't help. And so I called my dad later and I went off and.

• 1:05:36Stavros Halkias?

  So you tattled.

• 1:05:37Speaker 06

  Called her a lazy fucking bitch and just went ballistic. Uh, I was not feeling good at the time.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  Drug addict.

• 1:05:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, I was on speakerphone and she was in the room and apparently she just started crying hysterically.

• 1:05:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's nuts that you did that. Like if my sister-in-law, if we were moving stuff and one of my sisters-in-law just didn't want to do it, I'd be like, okay, who fucking cares?

• 1:06:08Speaker 02

  No problem.

• 1:06:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, you lazy. It's my mom's house.

• 1:06:15Stavros Halkias?

  I don't fucking care. Also, it's like, what hap- anyway, let's keep going.

• 1:06:19Speaker 06

  And, uh, it's been super awkward ever since. There's actually a couple of other small things after that that weren't great either, but.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:06:28Speaker 06

  Uh, I really want to show up for my brother. I want to do the right thing. My question for you is, when I do the best man speech, like, I have to give a nod to this incident.

• 1:06:39Stavros Halkias?

  No, you really don't.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  God.

• 1:06:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, what the, you have, what do you mean you have to give a nod to the incident?

• 1:06:44Speaker 02

  Congratulations to you, you fucking bitch.

• 1:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know, didn't help send any of those flowers on the table. Fucking Sarah.

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  Oh, God, sure remember when I used to beat you?

• 1:06:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, man. You have to give a nod to the incident? What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking? People really think they're, they're like, something has infected our brains, especially with like, all the, all the phone shit where everybody thinks they're, everybody posts like they're famous. This guy acts like, it's like, you know, I have to address our deep lore that everybody knows about. Nobody knows or gives a fuck about the times you were a dickhead to your sister-in-law. What you can do is say, I'm sorry. But before the speech, you go to her, you're like, hey, I've been wearing this speech and I'll just be honest with you now. And by the way, we've said this a lot, marriages, there's a couple of moments in life that act as almost reset points.

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:07:36Stavros Halkias?

  People getting married, funerals of loved, like, the big moments in life, a kid being born, these are moments that you can change, they're like hinge points for your life in many ways. This is a textbook one.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  Make it right.

• 1:07:50Stavros Halkias?

  Make it right, right now. Be like, I don't want us going into the, you and my brother, the rest of your life, I'm gonna be your brother-in-law forever. I want it, I want this water under the bridge. You're not gonna fucking fix this with a, a nice zinger about it in the best man speech? Go give her a fucking actual, give her an actual fucking apology, you dumb motherfucker. Is there more? Does he have more to say?

• 1:08:12Speaker 06

  You know, I'm not gonna pretend that it never happened, right? Otherwise I would be super awkward. Most of her family probably knows about this. I've met some of them, not all of them, but.

• 1:08:22Stavros Halkias?

  What are you talking about?

• 1:08:23Speaker 06

  Do like, how far into this story would you go?

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  Why are we talking about the speech? Okay, you're delusional. No.

• 1:08:32Speaker 02

  Before the wedding, you need to apologize.

• 1:08:33Speaker 03

  It's obvious that, it's like, you're thinking about the speech, you're making it about you, and you want, like, you're thinking about zingers right now? You are abusive, fella. You're like a quarter of the way of taking accountability. Don't call a podcast. Call your sister.

• 1:08:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I mean, I, I can't believe you think you have to discuss this. I can't believe you think this is the way to deal with this.

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  And without speaking to her, like, that's where he wants to deal with it. And make it right. Because her family knows.

• 1:09:04Stavros Halkias?

  See, this is, that's actually a really good, that's a really, if you're the type of person who cares more about how you are perceived because of your faults, as opposed to actually making them up with the people they matter, you're a piece of shit. You know what I mean? Like, and that's the type of person who thinks, who, you're looking at this like PR. This is not PR. This is mending your relationship with an actual human being, not, well, I want people to think I'm cool at the, at the best man speech. So your attitude is all fucking wrong here.

• 1:09:33Speaker 03

  I'm also like, the brother should step up. The brothers, it's like, I get he has trauma as well from you, but it's like, he asked you to be his best man. And so it's like, if he's asking that, it's like, I wouldn't, it's like, it seems like you're almost like, putting your wife in danger. A man who used to beat y'all and verbally abuse you is gonna be drunk at your wedding? This is an unsafe environment.

• 1:09:57Stavros Halkias?

  It is, I will say, it is like, I, I'm curious as to the brother making him the best man, making our caller here the best man. Is, like, is the brother trying to make a man, like, is the brother trying to be the bigger man and be like, hey? Now you're my best, because it's like, you know, we've all grown up with people who have these weird sibling, like these sibling rivalries that come up from one of them being a piece of shit, sometimes never go away. Sometimes it's just the way they relate to, like, I have friends of mine who it's like, oh, yeah, oh, brother and sister bicker, and now they fucking hate each other, right? So it's like, sometimes, and look, I've been very lucky, I was kind of a piece of shit.

• 1:10:39Stavros Halkias?

  There were me and my brothers, like, we had, we had, like, you know, I mean, me and my brothers, we talked about it. We all had anger problems just from growing up in our house, and we, there were moments where we all, we hated each other. We've come, we've figured it out. Now, at this, you know, I was the best man at my brother's wedding, but like, we figured it out. We went to therapy, we did it. It doesn't seem like either of you guys have done that.

• 1:10:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:11:00Stavros Halkias?

  And so I guess the brother's interesting here.

• 1:11:02Speaker 03

  Well, it is. I used to get, my older brother used to beat me up, like, we really did not get along. And then recently, honestly, like, when my parents split up, I had, like, a lot of resentment towards, like, the men in my family. And I talked to my brother, and I was like, that was so fucked up, like, all that shit. And he was like, I was a kid too.

• 1:11:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:21Speaker 03

  And I was like, whoa, like, even just like realizing that, where it's like, oh, we were both children. And like, I guess it unfortunately was on the adults, wherever it was, to take accountability. And so it's like, you know, I see that it's like, they're trying to make amends, and at the end of the day, all you have is your family, and we want to be retired in Greece with our, you know, brothers.

• 1:11:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:44Speaker 03

  You know, and it's like, have whatever boundaries that you can as adults, but it is like, I would like to know, yeah, what conversations you've had with your brother.

• 1:11:53Speaker 02

  I'm questioning the marriage.

• 1:11:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  Because this person, if this person is asking.

• 1:12:01Stavros Halkias?

  All right, I'll let you finish, but for the sake, but please.

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  Well, this person's asking the brother who, they haven't talked about anything, clearly.

• 1:12:10Stavros Halkias?

  Probably not.

• 1:12:11Speaker 02

  To be the best man, he's probably doing that because he's like, well, this is what I have to do. And maybe the marriage is based in the same thing of like, well, this is what people do, you get married.

• 1:12:21Speaker 03

  That's true. I do think it's like a cycle of abuse and like, um.

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  For alcoholics.

• 1:12:27Stavros Halkias?

  Worst case scenario, yes. Best case scenario, it's just like, people just go with inertia, right? And these are people who don't think deeply about themselves, right? Like, like, this guy might be just, his brother might just be kind of a meek guy, who's like, well, I don't have that many good friends. I guess my brother's my best man, you know what I mean? Like, I really hope he doesn't bring up that time he called Sarah a cunt, but maybe he will, you know?

• 1:12:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, he might be like cucked, like, to his wife, and it's just like, well, like, I'm supposed to do this, and like, you know, he's all, I don't have any friends.

• 1:13:02Speaker 02

  She's so much a bitch.

• 1:13:04Speaker 03

  What if she is a raging fucking cunt?

• 1:13:08Speaker 03

  So, yeah, call her, you're right.

• 1:13:11Speaker 03

  Keep saying that to her.

• 1:13:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yup.

• 1:13:13Speaker 03

  Saying, you know what, make a joke about it, you want to zinger?

• 1:13:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:16Speaker 03

  You call her a bitch again.

• 1:13:19Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, I guess let's, did he, did we get it? Is there anything else?

• 1:13:23Speaker 05

  There's a little more, but this is the gist.

• 1:13:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's the gist. Okay, so, um, all right, I guess, yeah.

• 1:13:30Speaker 02

  He said, I want to make things right.

• 1:13:32Stavros Halkias?

  So if you want to make things right, the speech is not how you do it. You apologize to her. This idea that everybody knows this, that this happened is weird, that you think this, you honestly might think too highly. I can't tell what's going on here, whether you have too high self-esteem or what your deal is. Something, though, there is a crucial piece of information we're missing, that like, kind of explains the family dynamics, I think. Either way, whatever it is, um, you have, by your own admission, you, you've glossed over them, but you seem to have been a dickhead multiple times here. So what you're thinking is not going to get you out of this.

• 1:14:12Stavros Halkias?

  So what you want to do, which is make light of it and be forgiven by being so charming and funny, which we don't, I don't think you got it in you.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  Not gonna happen.

• 1:14:21Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think you got it in you, pal, but even if you did, let's say you did, right? Let's say you possibly could do it. It's not the right thing to do. The right thing to do is to talk to your sister-in-law completely privately. It is not about what other people think. And if that means that you're speaking, and by the way, if you're thinking like, well, my speech, I'm like, you know? Thank you, thank you.

• 1:14:43Speaker 03

  Well, I'm like, also obsessed with, it's like, you just have like, untherapized men calling in and asking genuine help, that they don't have people to talk about their feelings to. And I'm like, you really are like, it's really beautiful, so I'm just like, uh-huh, yup.

• 1:14:59Stavros Halkias?

  And so I guess my point is, like, let's say, in a perfect world, you could pull it off, and it would make your speech better. The fact that you, like, you should do the thing that makes your speech worse, but makes your sister feel better. That's how you should be thinking about it. You should sacrifice this great zinger to be a better brother-in-law. Even though, even though, that, let's be very clear, that zinger doesn't exist. The universe where you can pull it off doesn't exist, but let's say it does. You can think of it as you making a big sacrifice to help your family by just keeping the speech about, you know, not, and by, an embarrassing incident. And by the way, we all speak publicly for a living, there's no way that would work.

• 1:15:41Stavros Halkias?

  You could not pull this off for telling you that. But yes, go talk to your sister-in-law, actually apologize, uh, actually mean it, and that's all you have to do. And then just write a regular fucking speech. And also, by the way, you might, it might be a nice opportunity to talk to your brother too, and just be like, sorry, I used to beat the fuck out of you, you know? That might, that might be appropriate as well. Hit us with another one, little LD.

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, not on the do it, folks. That's the twisted ass fucked up question of the week.

• 1:16:10Speaker 03

  Whoa. The sad comes out.

• 1:16:22Stavros Halkias?

  And look, at the end of the day, with your new family, get together and crack open an ice cold twisted tea, you know?

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  Keep it twisted.

• 1:16:30Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted, man, I'm gonna take a sip and go.

• 1:16:34Stavros Halkias?

  Next question, little Eldis.

• 1:16:36Speaker 05

  What up, Bobby baby, big LB, on a guest. Um, uh, my last message ran too long, so I'm gonna shorten it up. I got a buddy, he invited me to a music festival. It's a techno festival, and it's in Detroit, and it is long, grueling, and brutal. You gotta earn your way in, and you gotta cut your teeth on other events. You can't really go there as a rookie.

• 1:17:04Stavros Halkias?

  What? Okay.

• 1:17:06Speaker 05

  You know, you know, type of vibe. So, he invited me, we had an amazing time. The following year, I met this gal, and been with her, and she's huge in techno. Uh, she's also done the festival circuit, so she knows what she's doing. So I invited her along with, I wanted her to be there and to experience it like, like I had. We all went, and we had a great time, uh, but after everything finished up, he said he didn't really want to go again next year if she goes, because he felt kind of like a third wheel. Now, me and her kept our, you know, we kept it friend vibes during the, the actual festival. I told her, you know, hey.

• 1:17:44Stavros Halkias?

  You didn't suck her pussy in the middle of the fucking, in the middle of the fucking act? What are you talking about, you kept it friend vibes?

• 1:17:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:17:52Stavros Halkias?

  He's gonna be the third wheel, you fucking asshole, he's there with a couple.

• 1:17:54Speaker 03

  Oh, my old roommate did go to Coachella and masturbate in the crowd.

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  To what?

• 1:18:00Speaker 03

  Um, I think it was like Lord or something.

• 1:18:08Stavros Halkias?

  Like.

• 1:18:08Speaker 03

  Super cut of, oh, yeah.

• 1:18:11Stavros Halkias?

  Like, kind of just a little bit for their own, or like, out in the open?

• 1:18:15Speaker 03

  I think like, in the crowd, like, in his, like, jeans or whatever. I'm like.

• 1:18:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's wild. That's a wild move.

• 1:18:26Speaker 05

  I don't want him to feel like a third wheel, so we gotta like, you know, roll with him and be all inclusive. We don't want to like, go off and do our own thing. But he said the vibe was totally different. Uh, for instance, you know, me and him, we tend to stay up for like, multiple days on end, and she wanted to turn in early sometimes, so.

• 1:18:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's so awesome.

• 1:18:46Speaker 05

  Now, going to the next year, he says he doesn't want to go, she's gonna go again, because the vibe is different, and she really wants to go, not that her, you know, she's experienced it, she's like, holy shit, I really want to go again. So, I messed up, I brought a gal to, to, you know, a bro situation, and now I have to deal with the consequences. I don't want him to not go, because he's a great buddy of mine, and on music, we like, get down like that. So I know it's important to him, but I also don't want her to not go.

• 1:19:16Stavros Halkias?

  Everything you say sounds gay.

• 1:19:18Speaker 02

  On music, we like, get down like that?

• 1:19:23Speaker 05

  And that she's been exposed to, and she thinks it's the best thing ever, which it is. So I guess, uh, my, my chickens are coming home to roost, and I guess I'm a little lost on what to do. I feel bad for, for both of them, I put both of them in this situation that sucks, and I'm a fucking idiot, but.

• 1:19:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:19:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, I guess some of us.

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  You're being mean to yourself.

• 1:19:45Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  I'm a fucking idiot, I guess.

• 1:19:47Stavros Halkias?

  Well, no, no, but he's being mean to himself in the way that like, that's also a way to deflect blame, where like, I'm just so fucking stupid, I'm just such a piece of shit.

• 1:19:55Speaker 03

  Right, it's like, take accountability, where it's like, wait, actually, but it's like, you're not, like, what do you want?

• 1:19:59Speaker 02

  It has nothing to do with him.

• 1:20:00Speaker 03

  What do you want? He wants both of these things.

• 1:20:03Stavros Halkias?

  He wants them, but he, basically, he wants his friend to just be like, I don't care, I'll come. Now, I, like, it is a weird situation, because I do think there's a faux pas that he, like, look, there's nothing wrong with, if you're gonna go somewhere and just like, yeah, it's, it happens sometimes, where it's like, yeah, if you're dating somebody, you have a friend who's single, sometimes it ends up being like a third wheel situation.

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:20:24Stavros Halkias?

  Who cares? The weird, the place where it's a little bit of a faux pas here is that. He did take the thing his friend introduced him to. And he now made it a, so it's not, I wouldn't, my general advice wouldn't be like, I would generally tell the, the third wheel to be like, alright, man, like that does suck, but if it's just like an event that he wants to bring his girlfriend to, unless you had some explicit like, oh, this is like our tradition, then whatever, people can bring their significant others. But at this, but the fact that it was their thing, to me is, I see where the friend is coming from, I guess. Normally, I would tell the friend like, you know, if it's just a general thing, it's like, hey, whatever, I mean, this is just growing up, right?

• 1:21:07Stavros Halkias?

  Like, sometimes people have fucking significant others, okay? But in a time where it is kind of explicitly a like, ah, this was our thing, so I, I get where his friend is coming from.

• 1:21:18Speaker 02

  Like, I'm sure he asked the friend, can I bring my girlfriend to this festival? And then the friend realized he didn't like it.

• 1:21:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:27Speaker 02

  So the friend should bring a friend.

• 1:21:29Stavros Halkias?

  I, yeah, I also don't think it's that big a deal because, yeah, the friend should bring a friend, bring somebody else.

• 1:21:34Speaker 03

  Is, is she his girlfriend? Because like, when, like, when he brought her, there was just friends vibe? Or it's like, are they just together at the?

• 1:21:41Stavros Halkias?

  He's with the girl.

• 1:21:42Speaker 03

  Okay, he's with the girl.

• 1:21:43Speaker 02

  I think he's saying we weren't acting weird or nothing at the festival.

• 1:21:47Speaker 03

  Like, we weren't like coupley, but it's like, well, it's like, I mean, as somebody who is like always fucking single, it's like, it is just, it's tough to feel that loneliness. And then when you're like, on a bender, I'm sure doing a bunch of drugs where it's like, you're on high highs and really low lows. And it's like, you need somebody who's like your person. And then it's like, oh, your buddy is actually with somebody else. And it's like, okay, yeah, maybe it's bring some, like, is there another person that he could bring? Maybe he doesn't have any, he had, doesn't have friends, but I'm sure it's like a music festival that it's like techno where I'm like, you could find.

• 1:22:27Speaker 02

  Find your family there.

• 1:22:29Speaker 03

  Have you heard of Plur, babe?

• 1:22:32Speaker 02

  I feel like maybe they could alternate, alternate years. You bring the girl, you bring them. I'm choking on damn twisted tea.

• 1:22:42Speaker 02

  Went down the wrong pipe earlier, because it's so twisted.

• 1:22:52Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah, this is, because also I would say to the friend, because I guess, I guess there's two ways this goes. Either the caller here is completely overreacting and the guy's like, hey, look,

• 1:23:05Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just, this isn't really my thing. Like, you, you seem to have fun with your girl. Like, I'm just gonna, whatever. But also if the friend is like, if the friend is almost doing it like ultimatum style, that's pathetic too.

• 1:23:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:23:17Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's like, and, and look, I get it. I've, I've talked about this before where it's like, there have been times in my life where it's like, yeah, I'm the most immature, I'm the most emotionally immature person of my friend group without question, right? Like, everybody's ahead of me life-wise. Well, I would say like, you know, Elda, Elda's been in a serious relationship. Our friend Christina got engaged. We were living together. And there have been moments where it's like, when you're like, I, I've charted it at different periods of my life where it's like, when you're like 23 or whatever and someone like, and your like best friend gets a girlfriend, it's like, dude, but like, we fucking chill. And this fucking bitch is stopping us from chilling? And it's like, and.

• 1:23:58Speaker 02

  This lazy bitch.

• 1:24:01Speaker 03

  She wants to go to bed? We're doing whippets at 4 a.m., bro. Like, who else am I gonna do that with?

• 1:24:09Stavros Halkias?

  And, and so this is just a tough situation where it's like, your friend should not keep having that thought. Like, you have to, and if you find yourself being jealous of a friend's romantic partner, you're pathetic and you need to grow up, right? Or unless you're secretly in love with them, that's, that, then you get a pass. But either way, you have to act on it one way or the other. But so to, but if you're, it's actually so much more pathetic to be jealous of a romantic partner and not want to fuck your friend. That just means you're kind of a brat who's like, well, I want to hang out with my friend whenever I want, even if, even if it makes him not happy. Even if it, even if it takes away the best thing that ever happened to him, so I could play fucking Xbox with him late into the night.

• 1:24:49Speaker 03

  Well, it also seems like the friend was like, you know, men, not manipulated, but is like, this is like an elitist techno festival. Like, you have to put in the work. It's like, my friend brought me in and like, now I have to like, like, also, it's like, he really respects his.

• 1:25:04Stavros Halkias?

  Confused me too.

• 1:25:05Speaker 03

  Cool friends, I guess, you know? And it's, so it's like, he looks up to him and maybe that was like the power dynamic that they had. And so it's like this almost older brother, like, being like, you gotta be cool to come hang out with me. And, but then it's like, well, you're not related, you're not dating, you're 30, you know?

• 1:25:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:25Speaker 03

  You're at, you're at a festival.

• 1:25:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:27Speaker 03

  You're at a techno festival. First of all, just let's stop there.

• 1:25:32Stavros Halkias?

  Stop there, that's a big problem.

• 1:25:33Speaker 03

  You're at a techno festival. Like, it's not that big. Honestly, yeah, they should get a little crew. Go with like a group of six.

• 1:25:40Stavros Halkias?

  But it's also, it's also so funny where his friend's like, his friend wants to stay up and do fucking drugs all night. It's like, everything we've heard about the friend makes him sound like a fucking idiot, you know? Where he's like, ah, if you're gonna bring your fucking girlfriend, I'm not coming. And he's like,

• 1:25:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:25:56Stavros Halkias?

  Are you gonna bring her? You know what I mean? It's like.

• 1:25:59Speaker 03

  I know. But festival, I'm like, I guess I don't really go to them, but I'm like, yeah, taking drugs and staying up all night sounds fun.

• 1:26:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it does.

• 1:26:08Speaker 03

  It sounds fun, but also it's like, yeah, what is, what is turning in early? Yeah.

• 1:26:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, is she talking about just going to bed at like 1:00 or something, probably 2:00 a.m. and he wants to stay up all night?

• 1:26:17Speaker 02

  Well, she probably wants to go, like, it's cuddle time. After you've been dancing all night and like, having this amazing experience, it's time to go make out in the tent. Lie down. And the other guy's like, uh, I'm still going. But he should go find a girl at the festival. That's what they're for, like.

• 1:26:32Speaker 03

  Or a guy.

• 1:26:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:34Speaker 02

  Or a guy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

• 1:26:36Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, how dare you.

• 1:26:38Speaker 03

  Or something in between.

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  I feel that I'm, I'm allowed to mess up because I am a chaser.

• 1:26:43Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's true. What do you, what do you mean by that? You have a boyfriend who's rich. We just went over this.

• 1:26:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I'm allowed to do.

• 1:26:51Speaker 03

  She can have desires.

• 1:26:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:26:53Stavros Halkias?

  You mean desire?

• 1:26:54Speaker 02

  We openly, if I wanted to hook up with someone, I would be allowed. I'll say that.

• 1:26:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice.

• 1:26:59Speaker 02

  But it's not, I don't like labeling it. It's just like.

• 1:27:06Speaker 02

  We just talk about everything. We're not dead, okay?

• 1:27:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. Well, and I would say to give, to end this call with a little, just a little constructive stuff, whichever way you go with this, because it does feel like it's a, either you do crew or it becomes one or the other person's thing.

• 1:27:24Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:27:24Stavros Halkias?

  And whoever, whoever loses out on this, you should make it up to them in some way, right? Like, because I, we also on this pod, you know, on the pod, we understand that there are, you do need bro time sometimes. You do need to just like, there's sometimes it, it can, you do want to have a stag party of some kind, you know? It's not, not everything's gotta be coed.

• 1:27:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  So every once in a while, you know?

• 1:27:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, say that.

• 1:27:47Stavros Halkias?

  I do, I do, I do.

• 1:27:49Speaker 02

  He needs to buy his friend a plushy and it's done.

• 1:27:53Speaker 03

  Or the girlfriend a plushy.

• 1:27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, either way, either way, or you know, go to some other festival or go do drugs for a fucking weekend with your fucking friend.

• 1:28:01Speaker 03

  There's a lot, there's a lot of festivals.

• 1:28:03Stavros Halkias?

  There's ways to figure it out, but yeah.

• 1:28:06Speaker 03

  They can hang out with my dad. He's always going to festivals. I'm like, this could be my, about my dad. Honestly, this might be about my dad. Straight up.

• 1:28:18Stavros Halkias?

  That's what dad's up to, is go to festivals and stuff?

• 1:28:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:28:22Speaker 02

  Your dad's cool.

• 1:28:23Speaker 03

  He's, yeah, y'all have a hung out.

• 1:28:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. When I met him, I came over and he and Ethan were talking about cum.

• 1:28:32Speaker 02

  After my show.

• 1:28:35Speaker 03

  It's like.

• 1:28:36Stavros Halkias?

  And that's, that's awesome. He does sound cool.

• 1:28:38Speaker 03

  They hook up.

• 1:28:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he asked you for, he asked you for permission to fuck Marley's dad.

• 1:28:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's what you mean. You're still owed one from the time your boyfriend sucked off Marley's dad.

• 1:28:54Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I see. You guys, you guys, yeah, you guys operate on like a tit for tat situation.

• 1:28:59Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 1:29:00Stavros Halkias?

  I see, I see. Here's another, give, play us another one, Elda.

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• 1:30:05Speaker 04

  Hi, Savi and guests.

• 1:30:07Speaker 03

  Oh, woman.

• 1:30:08Speaker 04

  I was calling for a little bit of advice on a work-related question.

• 1:30:12Speaker 03

  Okay, let's go.

• 1:30:15Speaker 04

  A woman in a male-dominated job market, I guess.

• 1:30:22Speaker 03

  You think you need to leave the room?

• 1:30:26Speaker 04

  Job market, I guess, and I'm in charge of my department. And in the place that I work, there's other departments. And consistently, the whole time that I've worked there, guys from other departments will either hit on me, ask me out, ask people for my number, whatever. It's not that big of a deal. It's not that ingenious.

• 1:30:49Speaker 03

  Why are you complaining?

• 1:30:52Stavros Halkias?

  We turn on her? Yeah, I mean, yeah, you got a job, but you could find a husband. You know what's more important?

• 1:30:58Speaker 03

  Then you could have a baby. Maternity leave. What's the point of being a woman, right?

• 1:31:02Stavros Halkias?

  And make porridge and clean.

• 1:31:05Speaker 04

  How to shoot people down politely. But recently, it's come to my attention that one of my employees on my team has been complaining to the other guys that I'm so friendly or like cordial, I guess, with the guys from other departments that have hit on me in the past and that I'm giving mixed signals.

• 1:31:28Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

• 1:31:30Stavros Halkias?

  He works for her?

• 1:31:31Speaker 04

  My question is, it's kind of like a, there's options here. Do I address that with the employee? Because he didn't say it to me. Might cause drama that's unnecessary and people are allowed to complain about their boss. It's kind of fine, but it kind of hurts my feelings because I don't really know how else I'm supposed to go about that kind of thing. I can't really force people to not hit on me.

• 1:31:55Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:31:56Speaker 04

  And I can't just ignore everybody that does it, you know? But do I address it with the employee? Or do I adjust my behavior? Like, I think I just need an opinion from the man that I don't know, you know? Thank you.

• 1:32:14Speaker 03

  See, quiet down.

• 1:32:17Stavros Halkias?

  She is smart, it turns out.

• 1:32:21Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 1:32:24Stavros Halkias?

  This woman's a genius. She knows what she's missing. A podcast or a male podcast's opinion.

• 1:32:32Speaker 03

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna active listen here.

• 1:32:37Speaker 03

  I'm just kind of like, is HR a thing of the past now?

• 1:32:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, HR is just, but here's the thing, if you're the boss, right?

• 1:32:44Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:32:45Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, I fully understand where she's coming from because as a boss, you don't, HR is snitching, right?

• 1:32:54Speaker 02

  She wants to just deal with it.

• 1:32:55Speaker 03

  And you don't want people to turn on you.

• 1:32:56Stavros Halkias?

  You don't want people to think that you're like, yeah, that you're the kind of, and also unfortunately, it feeds into female stereotypes too of like, oh, she can't handle a little whatever the fuck, right? Like, oh, she had to go back and get me in trouble, that fucking bitch, whatever.

• 1:33:10Speaker 02

  I'm confused about what happened with the employee, like about what happened.

• 1:33:14Stavros Halkias?

  I think what happened is, so this woman worked, you know, she works.

• 1:33:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, man, explain that.

• 1:33:17Stavros Halkias?

  Works, absolutely. She works in tech or some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. So you know how some Barbies have jobs? You know, like, there's like a Barbie who's a-

• 1:33:26Speaker 02

  Like, business Barbie?

• 1:33:27Stavros Halkias?

  Like, business Barbie, great.

• 1:33:34Speaker 02

  I love her little big face.

• 1:33:37Speaker 03

  Is the boss?

• 1:33:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I know. It's crazy. So I think what's happened, so basically, she's just, let's say she works at like a tech company, right? She's one of, there's barely any women. Everybody in this office, you know, one guy from each department hits on her.

• 1:33:54Speaker 02

  Is hitting on her.

• 1:33:55Stavros Halkias?

  Right? And she just kind of, whatever, you know, lets it go. And then one of her employees apparently is complaining that she's like, leading people on, I guess, effectively, right? Like, she gives people mixed signals or whatever.

• 1:34:11Speaker 02

  Like, there's a reason they're hitting on her.

• 1:34:14Stavros Halkias?

  May, I don't even know exactly, it's unclear what is, what the nature of his complaint is, like, so, like, it's unclear if he's mad that she's not nice to him or that, whatever, who knows? Right. It's unclear, but either way, and look, here's my knee-jerk reaction, and then we can all discuss as a group and see if I'm wrong or what, or whatever.

• 1:34:31Speaker 02

  It is your podcast.

• 1:34:34Speaker 03

  Not for long.

• 1:34:39Stavros Halkias?

  But I, I think you don't, you do not change your behavior because of this, because that shows weakness from your underlings. If Eldis was talking shit to me, I'm not changing my fucking behavior because of Eldis. I'm sitting Eldis down, I'm going, shut the fuck up. Don't you ever say that shit about me. But I do think, actually, now, look, she gives, she makes a good point where it's like, they're just rumors, you're allowed to complain about your boss. I think what I would say is if like, if, if there's any like credible way that this comes back to you, that's above a rumor, that you can sit him in the office and be like, don't speak to, like, because you're his boss. You're his fucking boss. You're like, listen, you can complain about me. You can, whatever you want to do on your own time, it doesn't matter.

• 1:35:23Stavros Halkias?

  Don't, you don't spread rumors about me in the office. I'm your superior. You're not gonna do that, you're not gonna do that in, you know, this is what it takes. It's, this kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. I put up with it to make this, you know, to make this office work better. But if we have, and I don't want to, you gotta make it clear that it's like, I'm not the kind of person that goes to HR. I'm handling my own shit in-house. If you want to take it that way, if you want me to fucking put on your record that you're the kind of guy who gosses about his female boss.

• 1:35:52Speaker 02

  Oh, I'll do it.

• 1:35:52Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly, exactly. I do think you need to drop your nuts on this guy a little bit personally.

• 1:35:57Speaker 03

  You're gonna have to girl boss. Like, you are a girl boss. Just girl boss, because it's obvious this guy is insecure that he has a woman as a boss and probably also treats women not probably amazing outside of the workplace.

• 1:36:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's possible, for sure.

• 1:36:14Speaker 03

  So it's like, yeah, just like, I would say, be a girl boss. And it's hard because it's like, what, you either take it or they think you're like a bitch.

• 1:36:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:25Speaker 03

  Being a woman is hard.

• 1:36:26Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:36:26Speaker 03

  And then like being, and then it's like, but you want to be, it's like, there might be like a one woman in another department that it's like, if you have like this conversation, she's gonna look up to you, you know? It's like, I think there actually is like a cool opportunity that you can kind of be intentional, but it's also just like, yes, sit them down, be like, I mean, if it was me, I'd be like, you are delusional if you ever think that I am flirting with you in this workplace.

• 1:36:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's a really good point.

• 1:36:57Speaker 03

  We are here to work.

• 1:36:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:59Speaker 03

  I have my outside life. Like, it's like, please, can we not do? It's like, I would be like, I'd rather you think that like, I'm a bitch than like, think that I'm flirting with you, because that will never be the case.

• 1:37:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:11Speaker 03

  Let's end that here right now. Let's get back to work. Morale high, donuts tomorrow.

• 1:37:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do, I do think it's something, absolutely, I do think it's something that highlights pure professionalism. Be like, it's un, completely unprofessional for anyone in this office to think we'll be dating, we're here to work. It's very unprofessional for you to be, you know, talking about me by my back, whatever. But at the same time, I will say, you, this, that's only if this raises to the level of a problem. Because it's also possible that you just care what these fucking pieces of shit think too much. That's a possibility, right? Like you said, people are gonna talk about their boss, whatever. So I think there's twofold things here. For you, you have to let this shit go and you need to work on not being affected by, by this. And that's hard because, yeah.

• 1:37:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, having to deal with that all the time is so fucking annoying, or it's just like-

• 1:38:02Stavros Halkias?

  She even, she pretends it isn't, like, you're not giving yourself enough credit. You're like, whatever, it's not a big deal.

• 1:38:06Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:38:06Stavros Halkias?

  Someone every fucking day tries to fuck you at work, that's annoying, you know what I mean?

• 1:38:11Speaker 03

  That's, you live in hell.

• 1:38:14Speaker 03

  In corporate hell, in a corporate job.

• 1:38:16Stavros Halkias?

  Those are hell already.

• 1:38:18Speaker 03

  I won't talk about this, but I, I am empathizing. Girl, I'm empathizing with you.

• 1:38:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:23Speaker 03

  Literally, men in the workplace, if y'all had a woman in this workplace, I'd feel so sorry for her.

• 1:38:28Stavros Halkias?

  We do have one, but she does work remotely most of the time.

• 1:38:30Speaker 03

  Good, good.

• 1:38:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:34Speaker 03

  Do not come into work, sweetie.

• 1:38:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you heard it. We can't hire any women. I wanted to, but they won't let me.

• 1:38:44Speaker 02

  I also feel like the second she-

• 1:38:49Speaker 02

  I did think that.

• 1:38:52Speaker 03

  And why didn't you speak up? I thought you were a chaser. I thought you were an ally, huh? He didn't, I thought you had my back.

• 1:39:01Speaker 03

  I guess I'm non-binary again.

• 1:39:07Stavros Halkias?

  They in general, a bunch of women.

• 1:39:12Speaker 02

  I just feel like the second she confronts him, he's gonna be like, I, I didn't, I didn't-

• 1:39:17Stavros Halkias?

  But also confronting it gives him almost to, you almost raise it in seriousness.

• 1:39:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:39:23Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, I don't think this guy's worth your time. I honestly don't. I really don't. But I also think you need to work on not getting your feelings hurt by, by them, because this sucks dick. It's not gonna get, this shit's not gonna change in our lifetime. Like, maybe it will by the end of your career, but unfortunately, there's how shit should work and there's like the reality of surviving in these environments. And it's like, this is gonna be, you know, in a male-dominated space, this is how this shit's gonna go. And I think you can't let it get to you, and if it raises to the level of a problem, you do have to just, yeah, girl boss.

• 1:39:54Speaker 03

  Right, because the thing is, it's like a guy in like a boss or power position, like, wouldn't even be thinking critically like you are in this. Like, you're, like, he would literally just not, he would fuck the employee, like, you know? It's like, they're not thinking critically, and so it's like-

• 1:40:10Stavros Halkias?

  And ruin her life.

• 1:40:11Speaker 03

  Right, exactly. So it's like, at least you are, you know, thinking about this, but it's like, I think, yeah.

• 1:40:19Speaker 02

  Be strong.

• 1:40:19Speaker 03

  You're thinking too hard, be strong, you got this, girl, girl boss.

• 1:40:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:40:24Speaker 03

  Go, go be a millennial girl boss.

• 1:40:27Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:40:28Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:40:29Stavros Halkias?

  This, this, you have permission to do that.

• 1:40:32Stavros Halkias?

  Give us something fun to go out on, little Eldis.

• 1:40:43Speaker 00

  Hey Stavi, um, big fan, Patreon subscriber.

• 1:40:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:49Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:40:51Speaker 00

  I like San Francisco, you're the best.

• 1:40:52Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 1:40:53Speaker 00

  Um, this is not really a question, but more a funny story. So I'm like a gay, non-binary bitch who lives in the Bay Area.

• 1:41:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're a gay, non-binary bitch who lives in the Bay Area. Like whoopsie doo, everybody else, okay? You work at the farmer's market.

• 1:41:20Speaker 00

  Bitch who lives in the Bay Area. And it was Pride weekend, it was a past weekend, and I was out at like an underground trans rave in San Francisco. And I'm walking around this rave, like, you know, people are sucking and fucking everywhere, there's a dance floor, it's a whole scene. And I walked past this person who is literally a doppelganger of you, to the T, to the point where like, I got so excited.

• 1:41:54Stavros Halkias?

  I promise you, this is the fattest, baldest person you've ever seen in your life. Never in my life has anyone said, this is a doppelganger, and it's been cool.

• 1:42:06Speaker 03

  But it's probably like a stone butch.

• 1:42:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:08Speaker 03

  Probably like a non-binary like butch.

• 1:42:10Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, this is probably way more reasonable of a doppelganger for me than just a fat guy. I bet, yeah, you'll find a butch that has the exact same, was wearing this shirt.

• 1:42:21Speaker 03

  You have, you have a lesbian type of swag to you.

• 1:42:24Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, absolutely.

• 1:42:26Speaker 03

  That not every fat guy has, so.

• 1:42:29Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, no, no, I, so that's interesting.

• 1:42:31Speaker 03

  They are onto something.

• 1:42:32Speaker 02

  It's a worm.

• 1:42:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's warm.

• 1:42:34Stavros Halkias?

  All right, let's, let's keep going.

• 1:42:36Speaker 00

  To the T, to the point where like, I got so excited, I thought you yourself was in this stinky transgender rave party in San Francisco.

• 1:42:47Speaker 03

  You could just say stinky or transgender, you don't have to say both, okay?

• 1:42:54Speaker 03

  It's like, we get it, you love adjectives, we just need one that means the same thing, okay?

• 1:43:01Speaker 03

  A free party.

• 1:43:02Speaker 00

  Go. But no, just a doppelganger. And to boot, this person was wearing a t-shirt with your face on it.

• 1:43:09Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 1:43:10Speaker 00

  Um, there were two Stavi fans in the row.

• 1:43:13Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:43:14Speaker 00

  Um, but yeah, he had the hair, the mustache, the, the body.

• 1:43:20Speaker 03

  Body T.

• 1:43:22Speaker 00

  The round head.

• 1:43:23Speaker 03

  Round head.

• 1:43:25Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck?

• 1:43:25Speaker 00

  Um, very convincing doppelganger.

• 1:43:28Speaker 03

  It's more square.

• 1:43:28Speaker 00

  I just wanted to let you know.

• 1:43:30Speaker 03

  So did you suck and fuck the doppelganger?

• 1:43:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, did you suck fake me off? Cause are you even a real fan if you don't suck fake me off while they're wearing a t-shirt of me?

• 1:43:39Speaker 03

  Fake fan.

• 1:43:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sounds like you're not.

• 1:43:42Speaker 03

  Fuck you, right. I'm like, you do, like, if you were, I mean, you went to San Francisco, but if it's like, you went to a pride party, like, you would pull like gay, non-binary bitches in the Bay Area?

• 1:43:55Stavros Halkias?

  Perhaps I would.

• 1:43:56Speaker 03

  Like, you could, you could start a cult there, for sure.

• 1:43:59Stavros Halkias?

  I would like to, actually, we did a movie that we were starting a cult, but maybe, maybe I should start one.

• 1:44:04Speaker 03

  Was it in the Bay Area?

• 1:44:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:44:05Stavros Halkias?

  No, it was in Chicago.

• 1:44:07Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:44:08Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but I do sometimes think about how awesome it would be to start a, just to actually start a cult, just a sex cult.

• 1:44:15Speaker 02

  I think you would have no problem doing that.

• 1:44:17Stavros Halkias?

  It would have to be a sex cult. Cause imagine starting a cult and not getting to fuck everyone, that's the whole point.

• 1:44:22Speaker 03

  No, you're, yes.

• 1:44:24Stavros Halkias?

  The whole point is you get sucked by everybody's wife. So, whoa, check it out, God told me I have to actually fuck all your wives? That's weird.

• 1:44:30Speaker 03

  Literally, I'm gonna start a cult too. It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be, um, against your cult.

• 1:44:36Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:44:36Speaker 03

  And then my, I'm gonna give everybody AIDS in mine. And then they're gonna come over to yours. And then you're all gonna do like a ritualistic, like killing up yourselves.

• 1:44:46Speaker 02

  I'm gonna kinda do my own thing, with like, some trans guys and dogs.

• 1:44:51Speaker 03

  One-on-one, yes.

• 1:44:55Speaker 03

  Um, same thing again, furries. You probably have a lot of furry fans.

• 1:44:59Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. Sound off, sound off in the comments.

• 1:45:01Speaker 03

  Sound off.

• 1:45:03Stavros Halkias?

  Send us your fur, fur sona. Send us your fur sona.

• 1:45:06Speaker 03

  You're like, the last time I texted you was actually a friend that was trying to, you probably get that so much.

• 1:45:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, nice. Tell your friend, what's up with your friend?

• 1:45:15Speaker 03

  No, I'm.

• 1:45:15Stavros Halkias?

  Let's, uh, let's, let's end the episode. Uh, we have, we have something to discuss. Uh, but no, we do, that, that is gonna do it for us for real. This was so fun. This was so.

• 1:45:25Speaker 02

  So fun.

• 1:45:26Stavros Halkias?

  Come back sometime. Uh, we had a blast.

• 1:45:31Stavros Halkias?

  Edie, Edie and Marley, go check out, uh, go check out the special on veeps.com as, as said, and it comes out in her father's word for real in September.

• 1:45:41Speaker 02

  In September.

• 1:45:42Speaker 03

  Wait, why does it come out September for real?

• 1:45:44Speaker 02

  On YouTube, like, there's like a.

• 1:45:46Speaker 03

  Oh, I was wondering if it was like, gonna come on YouTube.

• 1:45:48Speaker 02

  Like, I could maybe make you a few shekels if you get it on veeps.com, but if not, I just want people to watch it, so.

• 1:45:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's very funny.

• 1:45:54Speaker 03

  It's, it's higher streaming than Netflix. Like, YouTube is the place to be.

• 1:45:59Stavros Halkias?

  It is.

• 1:45:59Speaker 03

  It's gonna blow up on YouTube.

• 1:46:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:46:01Speaker 03

  And that's on y'all, okay?

• 1:46:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Netflix still a great place to have a special, you know, check out Uncle Stav on Netflix.

• 1:46:09Speaker 02

  Wait, what's your new special gonna be called?

• 1:46:11Stavros Halkias?

  Uncle Stav.

• 1:46:11Speaker 02

  Uncle Stav.

• 1:46:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:12Speaker 03

  Uncle Stav?

• 1:46:14Stavros Halkias?

  Not yet.

• 1:46:15Speaker 03

  Not yet, okay, we're working on that, we're working on that.

• 1:46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:46:19Speaker 03

  Check out Uncle Stav.

• 1:46:21Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe Bunkle Stav, I don't know.

• 1:46:23Speaker 03

  Right, right. Auntie Stav, few years, non-binary, lesbian, Auntie Stav.

• 1:46:32Stavros Halkias?

  That would be awesome.

• 1:46:34Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, and you can check out Marley in the woods.

• 1:46:37Stavros Halkias?

  Check out Marley in the woods.

• 1:46:38Speaker 03

  Wherever there's a woods, you can find her.

• 1:46:40Stavros Halkias?

  Where shall, any, anywhere that you want them to find you?

• 1:46:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, Marley is Marley on instagram.com. And, um, you know, I get a lot of accounts deleted, so it might not be that.

• 1:46:51Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:46:52Speaker 03

  By the time this reaches you, you can't post, uh, your full spread hole anymore.

• 1:46:58Speaker 02

  I know, they really.

• 1:46:59Speaker 03

  Mark Zuckerberg.

• 1:47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Zuck's taking that away from us.

• 1:47:02Speaker 02

  And they're going back, they're going back in the archives. I'm getting things removed and flagged all the time.

• 1:47:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 1:47:09Speaker 02

  Yes, and banned from messaging.

• 1:47:11Speaker 03

  What was the video, like, before I knew you, you posted this video where you're like, titties are out? And it's like, that was the funniest video.

• 1:47:19Speaker 02

  It was really good.

• 1:47:20Speaker 03

  Cause I was living in LA.

• 1:47:21Speaker 02

  I put just paper on just my nipples.

• 1:47:23Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, okay.

• 1:47:24Speaker 02

  And they wouldn't let me. It was, I was trying to be a housewife, like, the, the opening where they're like, you know?

• 1:47:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:47:31Speaker 02

  I don't even know. I'm the fattest dog in the pound. I think I do.

• 1:47:36Speaker 03

  God, I need that.

• 1:47:37Stavros Halkias?

  You do love just being nude.

• 1:47:39Speaker 02

  I do.

• 1:47:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were doing like, you were doing like a live show, fully nude.

• 1:47:44Speaker 02

  Yes, I used to do that a lot. I think that's also a young thing, yeah.

• 1:47:47Stavros Halkias?

  I think so too.

• 1:47:47Speaker 02

  I just want to be as bad as possible.

• 1:47:49Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean. It's the way, that's how I look at Come Town, where it's like, yeah, I'm glad I did it in my twenties, but it's like, I don't wanna be the Come Town guy when I'm gonna be forty, you know?

• 1:47:57Speaker 03

  I'm like, over here doing like, shows with like, prosthetic balls out, like, fully out, and like nipples fully, titties out. Where I'm still, I still have one more year in my twenties, so then thirty will be a serious working actress prostitute. Like, you know, it's like, then.

• 1:48:15Stavros Halkias?

  A lot of Hillary Clinton suits.

• 1:48:17Speaker 03

  Wait, I'm actually trying to do that. Cause I just, no, I am, because I just got like, my first like, writing gig, so I was like, okay, what do I wear to an office?

• 1:48:27Speaker 02

  In a suit, an assless suit.

• 1:48:31Speaker 03

  You're like.

• 1:48:32Stavros Halkias?

  All right, not bad. As you're pitching, you're just like, so what do you guys think?

• 1:48:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:36Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but check.

• 1:48:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, fart.

• 1:48:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's good stuff.

• 1:48:43Speaker 02

  All right, all right.

• 1:48:44Stavros Halkias?

  Check all our friends out. Uh, watch the special when it comes out. Uh, Tony is out, I think, by the time this, I don't know. I'm in a movie that, that should be out soon. Tires comes out soon. We got a lot.

• 1:48:56Speaker 03

  Tony Tires.

• 1:48:56Stavros Halkias?

  The summer is, this is the summer of Stav, baby. We got fucking.

• 1:49:00Speaker 02

  Like, every summer is the summer of Stav.

• 1:49:02Speaker 03

  Literally, until you retire in Greece, it's gonna be the summer of Stav.

• 1:49:05Stavros Halkias?

  I guess you're right.

• 1:49:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, where's your TV show, huh?

• 1:49:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's too much work, it's just.

• 1:49:10Speaker 03

  I'll write it for you, bitch, like, shut up.

• 1:49:13Stavros Halkias?

  I'm tired of working. That's the thing, even when you achieve your dreams, you still have to go to work.

• 1:49:18Speaker 03

  No, no, the char, your character is always sleeping.

• 1:49:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's not bad.

• 1:49:21Speaker 03

  Is, is drinking, is drinking twisted tea and sleeping.

• 1:49:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's not bad. We'll get it sponsored by Twisted Tea. There we go. All right, we got some stuff to discuss. That's gonna do it for us this week, guys. We will see you next week. Bye-bye.