Jay’s Must Listens: What Every Parent Needs to Hear Right Now—How to Raise Confident & Emotionally Strong Kids (Ft. Dr. Amen & Kim Kardashian)

What’s the hardest part about being a parent? How do you balance discipline and love while navigating the ever-evolving complexities of raising children? In this special compilation episode, we explore the meaningful lessons, struggles, and joys of parenting. Jay Shetty and his guests share wisdom on how to nurture strong family bonds, create a positive environment for growth, and raise children with confidence and resilience. From setting healthy boundaries to leading with love and patience, each guest offers practical insights that will help parents navigate the ups and downs of raising children. Whether you're a new parent, an experienced caregiver, or just seeking a deeper understanding of parent-child relationships, this episode is packed with valuable insights. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Build Deep, Lasting Connections with Your Kids The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries in Parenting How to Lead with Love While Teaching Discipline Ways to Foster Emotional Resilience in Children The Power of Modeling the Behavior You Want to See Parenting is both one of life’s greatest responsibilities and its most rewarding joys. By approaching the journey with intention, patience, and love, you lay the foundation for a strong and thriving family With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:13 Is Discipline About Punishment or Teaching? 11:06 Are You Spending Enough Uninterrupted Time With Your Kids? 19:27 How To Overcome and Find Balance Between Career and Family 26:03 Teaching Your Kids Resilience and Self-Worth See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favourite podcast. Choose a seller or North East Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come. Orange Theory Fitness provides a one-hour workout to build strength, burn fat and build

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

  muscle with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangetheory.com/onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage in studio for details. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a second-hand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process and once something sells, Vinted creates

• 1:28Jay Shetty?

  a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

• 1:58Jay Shetty?

  Studies show that a child's emotional intelligence and resilience is strongly shaped by their parents' approach to discipline and communication. But with so much parenting advice out there, it can be hard to know what really works. We're judged in many roles in our lives, but it seems we're judged the most in our roles as parents. There's no handbook to parenting yet. We're expected to never make any mistakes. Parenting is fulfilling but challenging. Every stage comes with new lessons. Today's guests bring different perspectives: psychologists, experienced parents, and public figures balancing family with busy careers.

• 2:41Jay Shetty?

  Let's start with one of the biggest parenting struggles: discipline. Discipline is about teaching, not punishing. It's so important that we know how to set boundaries in a way that builds confidence, not fear. It's important that we create a safe, supportive environment where kids can learn from mistakes. Dr. Eliza Pressman will be talking about how discipline is about teaching, not punishing.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  I feel like discipline is so controversial, but I think of it as all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not. So if I had to sum it up, and I think we do think of discipline as punishment versus teaching, and it's teaching, because it actually influences your growth and development. It's not just for my entertainment. Then your kids trust you a little bit more and the relationship is stronger. But I think the key with discipline is not being afraid of how our kids react to it and having the strength of purpose and belief that if they do have a negative reaction to it, we can love them all the way through it, but we're not going to change our minds about it.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Because that's where it gets messy, is that if we're talking all about how important the relationship is, and then you have this limit that you set, like, this is my expectation of you, and your child doesn't like it, this simply like, you know, I take the phone away at night, or the iPad, or whatever.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  And your child is freaking out about it. Then you go, well, now I've messed with the relationship. And so I guess I should, they're crying and I need to like get back in there. So, okay, I'll give you more time or whatever it is. And that's where we get confused. I think if parents really understood that feelings aren't dangerous, that kids aren't going to say thank you for the boundaries and limits that we set and that we set them with the intention of physical and emotional safety about not just them, but other people. Like, we're not just raising kids in a vacuum. They have to move through the world and think about community and other humans. And so what's comfortable for them might not be thoughtful to other people.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  And so it's that balance between be there for yourself, but also not to the extent that you can't, you know, that you're entitled and don't respect that there are other people in the world. I mean, there's three kind of parenting styles outside of neglectful, which is not, you know, that's a whole other thing. But there's like the permissive, which is best friend parenting. And it is so sensitive and they do like you and you can play as many video games as you want and all that's great, except for you have no, nobody's steering the ship. And so it actually can lead to anxiety and depression and a sense that you are too responsible for things. And the other side of it is authoritarian, where it's fear-based and it's just rules

• 5:32Speaker 03

  and it's just because I said so, but without the like, I know you really love doing this and I wouldn't stop you from doing it if I didn't know that it was better for your brain or whatever. So that's the middle path of like authoritative, where you're sensitive, but you stick with your limits and boundaries because you know that that's going to benefit your kids, even when you have limits and rules. You want your kids to know, as you're describing your mom, that they have you. So if you do mess up, Yep. you can still go to them. Totally. Instead of being terrified. And so that's this weird thing where it's like, here are my expectations. Also, I want to name the fact that you're gonna blow it sometimes.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  And I want to be the person you come to. Yeah. And that's something to say, not when they're struggling. And I think part of the reason why it's hard to get kids to open up is because we try to get in there when they're in the center of the struggle. Yes. Instead of like, building the vocabulary and connection outside of it. So you have the conversations and you give the language when nobody's in the heat of the moment. So that when the heat of the moment comes, they already know that they can come to you. And you can just say to them, I can tell something's going on. I'm here whenever or if ever. And then just leave space. A lot of times, doing something with a kid who's not opening up,

• 6:58Speaker 03

  like going for a drive even, so that you're not looking at each other. And, you know, I can't think of any sport right now because I'm not super sporty. But, you know, like, play, I'm like, what is it called when one does a game with someone? Pickleball. Thank you. So you go play pickleball. Yeah. You're playing pickleball, it's gonna come up. But you want to just like, put little tiny moments where you say, I'm askable, I'm tellable, and I'm not gonna say anything. And one of the things that helps is that when your kids do tell you something, you say, thank you for telling me, before you have any other reaction. And that may be your only reaction.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  And then you give them a little space. And then you say, is there anything I can do?

• 7:49Speaker 03

  With younger kids, you want to be, this is going to sound ridiculous if you don't think about animals this way, but I do. So tell me if it resonates. But you kind of want to be a dog. You wag on your tail when you're excited to see them. You're always there and you're like, really enthusiastic. And they need that. But then, as they get older, imagine your 11 to 25 year old self, you need to be a cat. So you're like, you're there, you're always around. You're not, you might, you're touching their feet. Like, you're not overly on top of them. But if they're interested, they can come to you. But you're not going anywhere.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  So it's like, it's this safe thing where you're there for them, but it's, it's not so intense. And then they have the opportunity to open up a little bit. And when they do, you don't pounce like a dog. You stay a cat who's like welcoming the information, but not, you know, saying, oh, my God. And then, you know, because you don't want your kids to think, you can't handle my truth.

• 8:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  So I'm not, you're not the person to tell.

• 8:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and I feel that's the hardest time to be the cat because you're scared about them getting involved in the worst stuff. Like whether it's drugs or, um, you know, addiction to social media or getting involved in the wrong circles. Like, that's the age at which it's gonna happen.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's terrifying.

• 9:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's terrifying. So then that, and they're getting a driver's license. They can drink now, you know, as, you know, as they get older. It's like, it's almost like those are the times where you wanna be more.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:21Jay Shetty?

  Hands on.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  And you are fit, that's why I say you're physically present. Like, I think toddlers and teenagers need you more present than anybody. But we think teenagers are like off on their own and whatever, but you're home. Like, if they're going to a party, you're home to greet them and look into their eyes. So you don't need to ask if they've been drinking because you will know when you hug them and look in their eyes. And you can have a conversation in a different kind of way than if you're sort of like, I'm out, you're out. Uh, you're older, you, you know, take an Uber, don't drive drunk, I'll see you tomorrow. So I think your presence is important, but the, the, the sense that you're like kind of all over them verbally

• 10:07Speaker 03

  has, you have to pull back a little bit. And it's terrifying. But if you've cultivated the relationship and you've set the expectations from, you know, about. Substances and social media and whatever, it's easier. But when something's really bothering them, what they need is to know that they don't have to explain it and they can just come to you and be sad. Attachment relationships are dynamic. So you aren't just like, it used to be, we used to think like you're either, you know, you have a baby, you develop the secure attachment, it's like a bond and that's it. But we know now it's dynamic. And so if you have a five year old or a 16 year old or a 35 year old, you can still

• 10:51Speaker 03

  grow that healthy attachment relationship. So you can change. Our job is not to fix, it's to be there. And that's what secure attachment is, even in your adult relationships. It's like, who can sit with me through all of these experiences, through these feelings? Because the idea of being happy isn't really about always being happy. It's about knowing you can come back from whatever it is that you're going through and you will be happy again. And if our kids experience the range of things that come their way and they know that they have someone sort of sitting by their side, they end up in this relationship that is securely

• 11:34Speaker 03

  attached and it's not like one and done. And if it didn't, you know, that's the thing that I think is the trickiest, is feeling like I'm responsible for my child's constant happiness. I have to feel ashamed if I wasn't there for every moment or if I couldn't fix that feeling, which you can't, as you know. And I think sometimes people feel like they're maybe better or worse at different stages. And so there's, you know, like this assumption that we're gonna kind of know what to do. Like the idea that you do come home from the hospital and you're just like, okay, I guess.

• 12:13Speaker 03

  I just feel like in adulthood, this happens all the time. Like, I remember just the first time I was, you know, in my twenties and I had my own apartment. And I was like, wait, I can just decide what I'm doing? I can open a bottle of wine? Like, there were things that I still was like, I'm gonna, it's bizarre. And now, like, that I'm the last, you know, person in charge of whatever, and there's nobody that I'm supposed to ask and I can make a decision? I'm still kind of like, is that okay? Yeah. And so the idea that you're just, like, in charge of raising a whole human being or more is really daunting. And we all kind of think everybody else knows.

• 12:55Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Mazda. The best habits are the ones we hardly notice, the ones that quietly shape the way we move through life, giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with your drive, so you can stay present behind the wheel. That commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Mazda, more of what matters to you.

• 13:40Jay Shetty?

  Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services.

• 13:48Jay Shetty?

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• 14:34Jay Shetty?

  Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs.

• 14:40Speaker 04

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• 15:10Jay Shetty?

  The next clip is from Dr. Daniel Amen, who talks about the importance of presence and emotional connection. He talks about this special time technique, which is the importance of 20 minutes a day of uninterrupted physical time with children plus active listening. He talks about the need to set firm, loving boundaries with consistent follow through and small intentional actions that make a big difference in connection.

• 15:40Speaker 05

  If you want to have influence with your children, if you want them to seriously consider your values, you have to be connected with them.

• 15:50Jay Shetty?

  And what does that take?

• 15:51Speaker 05

  Time. Like actual, physical time where you're not on your phone, but you put the phone away and you spend 20 minutes a day with a child. So there's an exercise I talk about in the book that I love so much that, you know, all the things I've recommended to my patients over the last 45 years, when I decided to be a psychiatrist 45 years ago, special time, it's magic. And 20 minutes a day, do something with your child, child wants to do, that's reasonable, you can do in 20 minutes. So it's like, not take me to Nordstrom's. And during that time, no commands, no questions, no directions.

• 16:36Speaker 05

  It's just time to be together. And it's money in the relational bank. And I remember when I first figured this out. My literary agent had a child later in life. We were talking on the phone and he's like, my daughter Laura doesn't want to have anything to do with me. And she's two. And he said, that's like a girl thing, right? A mother-daughter thing. They don't want anything. I'm like, no, Carl, you're ignoring her. What? What do you mean, I'm ignoring? I'm like, you're ignoring her. Do this. And he said, that won't work. I'm like, oh, great. You represent an idiot. My own literary agent won't do what I say. Do it.

• 17:21Speaker 05

  In fact, I'm gonna put you in my schedule for three weeks. I'm gonna call you, get the party started. And so, three weeks go by, I call him up. Carl, Daniel, she won't leave me alone. As soon as I walk in the door, she grabs my leg and wants her time. All she wants to do is be with me. I'm like, that's a problem? That's what we want, right? That's what we're after. So, actual, physical time. And now, parents are so busy, they're not spending this one-on-one, alone time, listening. So, that's the second part of it. So, time, actual, physical time.

• 18:05Speaker 05

  And shut up. I mean, it's so important. You love them so much, you wanna pour all of your knowledge, all of your wisdom that you worked your whole life on, and download it into their head. Don't do that. Listen to them. And therapists learn this technique called active listening, that whenever someone says something, you don't interrupt and tell them how to think, you repeat it back. And you listen for the feelings behind the words. So, if my son came home and said, Dad, I wanna have blue hair. I don't know what your father would've said, but I know what mine would've said.

• 18:48Speaker 05

  No, well, as long as you live in this house, you can have blue hair. But what does that do? It just stops the conversation, or it starts a fight. Active listening teaches you, repeat back what you hear. Oh, you wanna have blue hair. And then be quiet long enough for them to like, explain what's really going on. And he might say, all the kids are wearing their hair blue. Now, I've been to a school. I know not everybody's blue headed.

• 19:20Speaker 05

  And if I would have said that to my dad, I don't know what your dad would have said. I don't care what anybody else is doing. As long as you live in this house, you're not gonna have blue hair. If they're gonna jump off a bridge, are you going with them?

• 19:32Jay Shetty?

  That one for sure. I've heard that plenty of times.

• 19:34Speaker 05

  And what does it do? Stops the conversation or it starts a fight? Sounds like you wanna be like the other kids. Completely different conversation, but that's... And he might say, Dad, you know, sometimes I feel like I don't fit in. Now, my mother would have said, what do you mean you don't fit in? Of course you fit in. You're a good boy. You're a good looking boy. You're a nice boy. And that's not helpful either. What's just helpful is, so sometimes you feel like you don't fit in. And then, give it a breath. So they're the ones solving their problem. Now, at the end of a half an hour, he says, I still wanna have blue hair. I'm gonna tell him no way in hell, as long as you live in my house,

• 20:18Speaker 05

  because it's not cool to look weird. I mean, if you look weird, you're gonna hang out with weird people, right? It's okay to have boundaries around behavior. Some parents, they have like no boundaries. And I think some boundaries are appropriate.

• 20:36Jay Shetty?

  What does loving discipline look like? Because I think it's, it sounds good. Like, we're all like, yeah, I would, I would love to be disciplined, but I'd love to be loving. And often, we don't even figure out what that means in the workplace, let alone with kids. We're either loving or disciplined, but we're not.

• 20:50Speaker 05

  I think it should be both.

• 20:53Jay Shetty?

  What does it look like?

• 20:54Speaker 05

  Well, you know, we haven't gotten to rules. I, I think families should have them. Society has rules. Like, tell the truth. Do what mom and dad say the first time. I love that rule. Because you know, your chance of abusing the child, if you tell a child to do something five times, your chance of abusing that child just went up significantly. And so, if you have the expectation, they'll do things the first time. It's like, Caitlin, take, you know, I want you to take out the trash. Like, in the next half hour. And if she doesn't, it's like, sweetheart, you have a choice. You can take it out now. Or you can have this consequence and then you can take it out.

• 21:38Speaker 05

  I don't care. It's up to you. And I love that part of not being attached to it. I love her. I'm really clear. And she's getting that consequence if she doesn't move. Stop threatening them and then not following through. Uh, because you teach them that you have to tell them and get angry and be a bit crazy in order for them to do what you ask them to do.

• 22:05Jay Shetty?

  Hmm. And I, I, I like the rules and rhythms and routines. I remember in my home, after dinner, me and my sister would clean up and we had a little rotor of who washed up that day and who cleaned the table that day. And it was just something that went around every day. We'd take it in turns. And my sister was four years younger than me and we'd just do it together. And it became this thing that we just did and it became natural. It became a habit and it made us accountable and responsible to each other as well, as well as our parents. And it was a really neat way of kind of giving us that rules and, you know, I think sometimes we think of rules as like strict rules and guidelines, but actually it can be just a rhythm and a routine in.

• 22:42Speaker 05

  And it building competence and skill. And you're part of the family rather than you're entitled

• 22:50Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 22:51Speaker 05

  to live in that family.

• 22:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:53Speaker 05

  And the earlier you start, the, the better it is. Um, for kids. I mean, it's, it's hard if you not spend any time with children by the time they're 14. Their friends are more important than you are. And that's the heartbreaking thing I've learned is if you're not spending time with them, their friends will take your place. And they may not have the advice. They may not have the right ear for you. And it makes them more vulnerable to all the scary stuff that's on social media.

• 23:32Jay Shetty?

  You're about to hear from Kim Kardashian. And this is really about parenting in the public eye. Now, you may not have a life in the public eye, but you may wonder what other parents think about you. You may feel judged about what family members think about how you parent. And we all feel like we live in this bubble of people's constant opinions, expectations, and obligations of what a good parent should look like. In this segment, you'll hear about how Kim balances career, fame, and raising grounded kids. She talks a lot about overcoming mom guilt and being present with their kids, even with a busy schedule and a busy work life. I think this is something a lot of you may be able to relate to and connect with.

• 24:16Jay Shetty?

  She also talks about the importance of open communication in navigating tough conversations. And she talks about how she creates a sense of normalcy despite being in the public eye and having such a big brand.

• 24:29Kim Kardashian?

  Mom guilt is probably the hardest thing. I think that you have to also separate, though, and understand that you need your own bit of sanity. So you have to do what makes you happy. You have to, if working, for me, I love working, so that makes me happy. Anytime I think something's really hard, I dive into work. And, or if there's challenges, like I love to dive into my work. And that's like a bit of my therapy and my routine to keep me going. But I think, you know, I have chats with my girlfriends when our kids are having tantrums and there could be things going on that we don't even know about. And you feel like you're the worst mom

• 25:12Kim Kardashian?

  if something's going on and you can't fix it. You have no idea how to change it. Your kids are fighting, whatever it is. And my friends and I will text each other and be like in tears, literally locking ourselves in the room, like away from a kid having a tantrum. When that's not what you should do. You should go and lean into them. And, but sometimes it's so overwhelming. That was probably the only time I'd be hard on myself is, am I a good mom? I try to do everything. And I think how to balance work with that is when you're home being really present. Kids, all they want is time. They just want your time.

• 25:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 25:55Kim Kardashian?

  You can give them all these amazing, big experiences and they'll remember them and they're great, but they'll always remember you being present. And I think that's just the most important thing in all of your relationships. Think about what a kid wants. A kid just wants your time. So why wouldn't everyone else? You have to kind of treat everyone like that if you want these like meaningful relationships in your life. And you have to be present. And it's okay to feel like you are not 100% at being the best mom. I say this all the time. We, there's no manual. They do not come with a manual. Everyone's doing the best that they can.

• 26:38Kim Kardashian?

  And I just feel so lucky that I have a good group of girlfriends. And all of our kids are experiencing different things from, I mean, imagine all the things that they, a divorce, everything that they have to go through. We're okay. They will be okay. And they will feel the love and support and that's all you can do. It'll be okay. I'll talk to my kids about anything they want to ask me about. I am so open and honest with my kids. I think that's the only way to be. And it could be things that they might not understand. And I'll wait to find the appropriate time to talk about it. I think they grew up seeing the cameras and they grew up seeing that even as babies. You know, we'd walk out and there'd be paparazzi.

• 27:22Kim Kardashian?

  So it's not really something that they acknowledge a lot. But, you know, my daughter's really vocal. She'll tell them when she doesn't want them around and to leave her alone and to stop. And I love that they use their little voices. But they also have such a normal life and such a different life away from all of that, too. And that's why I love that my sisters and I all had babies at the same time so they can be with each other and have these experiences together.

• 27:49Jay Shetty?

  What's the biggest lesson you learned from your mom that you're trying to pass on to the kids?

• 27:52Kim Kardashian?

  I think just how she makes people feel really heard and welcomed. She really is the most warm, welcoming person. And it's just like her overall, it seems superficial, but it's not like her party planning skills. It's not even that. It's just the welcoming-ness of.

• 28:12Kim Kardashian?

  I don't even know if these are words I'm saying, but like just her ability to be so warm and to make everyone feel like they were invited here. I'm gonna create this like special Easter dinner with like the things on the table, you know, that she had when we were growing up at my dad's house. Like she just has all this like really special nostalgic stuff around all the time and always tries to make everyone feel so special, but with like a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang around. Like she just loves people in her space and loves to create these memories. And I think that we all got that from her and we will all, if I can just pass that on to my kids, just

• 28:54Kim Kardashian?

  the, the experiences that we have as a family, whether we're just sitting in our pajamas and hanging out, we make the time to be together. And I hope that my kids wanna make the time to be together when they grow up with their cousins and their aunts and just the whole family.

• 29:14Jay Shetty?

  I'm sure they will.

• 29:15Kim Kardashian?

  Yeah, I think they will too.

• 29:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think, I think you've managed to hold on to it in your entire generation. And so

• 29:20Kim Kardashian?

  Yeah.

• 29:21Jay Shetty?

  They see that. I think kids mirror so much of

• 29:23Kim Kardashian?

  Yeah.

• 29:24Jay Shetty?

  what they see around them. And I remember when I met my wife, her grandma is her favorite human on the planet. And it's really interesting how when someone you love, you know who their favorite human is.

• 29:34Kim Kardashian?

  Yeah.

• 29:35Jay Shetty?

  You automatically start loving them.

• 29:36Kim Kardashian?

  Yeah.

• 29:37Jay Shetty?

  And I wasn't really close to my grandparents, but I'm closer to Riley's grandpa, like grandma than I am to my own grandparents because

• 29:43Kim Kardashian?

  That's so cute.

• 29:43Jay Shetty?

  you see your love for the person that you love. And so I think when your kids see the love that you have for your sisters and your cousins and your aunts and uncles and

• 29:52Kim Kardashian?

  Now, if only all my kids can love their siblings, that would be amazing. They're in a fighting phase.

• 29:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 29:59Kim Kardashian?

  Yeah.

• 29:59Jay Shetty?

  Did you, and you guys went through that phase, I'm sure.

• 30:01Kim Kardashian?

  We went through it too, yeah. Oh, my God.

• 30:02Jay Shetty?

  It's still going on.

• 30:03Kim Kardashian?

  The fist, but yeah, it's still going on.

• 30:06Speaker 07

  Never ending.

• 30:07Speaker 05

  That's never gonna stop.

• 30:08Jay Shetty?

  This next segment is from Jessica Alba, where she talks about motherhood and personal growth. A big part of what she shares is how motherhood reshaped her career and priorities. Maybe you've just started a new job. Maybe you started a new side hustle. Maybe you just had your first child and everything's changing. Or maybe your kids just left the home. All of these transitions impact the way we work, live and think. It affects our relationship with our spouse, our partner, whoever that may be. And it impacts our relationship with our work. In this segment, Jessica Alba talks about how she teaches her kids resilience, self-worth and using success for good.

• 30:51Jay Shetty?

  She also talks about how she's trying and been able to find balance between her personal ambitions and family life. I think this is such an important thing that we're all trying to juggle and it will really resonate with you.

• 31:04Speaker 07

  You know, I think because it was such a struggle and so hard for my parents. They were young when they had me and every day was a very, it was a very kind of tumultuous environment just because they were in survival mode every day, struggling to get by. And they also didn't have necessarily the maturity or the tools to have context like this podcast, right? There wasn't this podcast. My parents were, you know, young. There were, we live now in a culture where so many, so much of the stuff that just wasn't sort of serving humanity has been broken down.

• 31:45Speaker 07

  And there's this generation that's sort of sinking through like,

• 31:52Speaker 07

  I guess, sort of like, yes, we built these civilizations based off of like necessity. A lot of these things that are power and ego driven, right? But now we're in a place where it's more about compassion, mindfulness, right? Openness and that's how we're going to thrive and, and you know, continue to thrive as, as a human race. And, and so I think.

• 32:21Speaker 07

  You know, for my kids, I try to exemplify, uh, whatever that is. And, and at the same time, you know, they are very aware of my faults, right? They're very aware that I, you know, get stressed and I, you know, get irritable and I don't sleep enough and all of those things. Um, but, you know, we have a, we have a dialogue about it and, and, you know, I try to create a space of compassion, um, obviously for, for them, but also, you know, just for them to, to sort of like know that I'm trying. I think I just wanted, uh, peace and I wanted security.

• 33:05Speaker 07

  And I wanted a sense of, um, financial security to me meant that, uh, you could then have peace and not be so stressed out. I also knew that like my parents in a lot of ways were just sort of like products of certain systems. When you have to support a family, how can you sort of like get ahead? Um, and they were learning as they were going, you know, it's sort of like flying the plane and fixing it at the same time. It wasn't until I became a parent, I think, that I had, I really understood how difficult it was for them, um, just being so young and not necessarily having the tools

• 33:48Speaker 07

  and not having, you know, their, a setup, right, to thrive. I felt like I had a, I had a purpose. I didn't know what it was. I came from very simple, humble, um, family. What I've done in my life and what I've, I've achieved was in no way, shape or form given to me, handed to me. I mean, I think if anything, there was nothing but blocks and challenges and walls and reasons why I shouldn't dream or even have the audacity to think that I could become anything. Every stage of every piece of my life, I, I feel like I'm always looking to be better and do better. So when I Actually got the opportunity to be an actress.

• 34:30Speaker 07

  And I started working on a regular basis. I prayed a lot, you know, whether it's God or spirit or whatever it is that people pray to. I felt like if I could just channel like, I want to do good. I know I'm here to do good. I'm not sure what that end goal is, but I promise that if I get any breakthrough, I will do good with my success. And I always attributed success with being able to do good. And then when I became a mom, you know, that really my sense of self, and I would say my insecurities as a person over silly things,

• 35:13Speaker 07

  kept me, I think, from fully realizing my potential before I became a mom. But when I became a mom, those insecurities sort of went away.

• 35:19Jay Shetty?

  I hope you took away a lot of practical emotional advice and insight from this episode. And here are some of my takeaways. Parenting isn't about being perfect. It's about being present and growing together. I think when we have that pressure of perfection, we actually sometimes act out in negative ways, even towards children. That pressure of perfection becomes why we're angry. Really, we're angry at ourselves, but we're taking it out on that child. That stress that we carry of wanting to be perfect parents and be perfect all the time, makes us act in ways that we don't love afterwards and we might regret. Whether it's setting boundaries, building strong connections, or balancing life,

• 36:03Jay Shetty?

  today's insights show we're not alone in this journey. Every single person who's a parent is struggling with what we've talked about today. It doesn't matter how many resources you have. It doesn't matter what access you have. Everyone is going through an up and down. And I think we can also relate to that through having been kids in our lives. If you think back to being a child, I'm sure your parents had ups and downs. I'm sure they had days, weeks, months, and years that were challenging. It's natural for you to do that as well. Sometimes we're trying so hard not to be our parents that we end up repeating the same mistakes. I hope that this episode resonated with you. I hope you'll share it with a parent who needs to hear it.

• 36:45Jay Shetty?

  I hope you'll listen to it with your friends who are parents as well, so you can find a space to be vulnerable, open, and connect more deeply. Thank you so much for listening. If you loved this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with Dr. Daniel Amen on how to change your life by changing your brain.

• 37:03Speaker 05

  If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain. You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to scan over a thousand convicted felons and over a hundred murderers, and their brains are very damaged.