Armchair Anonymous: Bad Proposals

Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about a proposal gone wrong. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ http://www.wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Dax Shepard?

  Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Randall Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Lilly.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Oh, that was cool.

• 0:07Dax Shepard?

  It was hard. Okay, the prompt was bad proposals. Proposals gone wrong.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 0:11Dax Shepard?

  But oh my Lord, I mean, this is like tied with that crazy bear attack or shark attack. This goes some places.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  It really builds this one.

• 0:22Dax Shepard?

  It just gets, gets more and more intense.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:25Dax Shepard?

  And then the last one is a nail biter.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 0:28Dax Shepard?

  Wow. This is a banger.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, please listen to this one and happy Valentine's Day.

• 0:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh, is that what it is?

• 0:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was meant to pair up a little bit.

• 0:37Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. Yeah. Happy Valentine's Day. May your heart be full of love and

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Candies.

• 0:42Dax Shepard?

  Merriment. And in his name we pray. He has risen.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  What are you gonna do for Valentine's Day? Eat chocolates?

• 0:50Dax Shepard?

  I'll try not to.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:51Dax Shepard?

  I mostly think of my mom always would ask me to be her Valentine.

• 0:55Speaker 01

  Oh, that's sweet.

• 0:56Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. And so I'll, I'll ask the girls to be my Valentine.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  That's cute.

• 1:00Dax Shepard?

  And they're, they'll still like it.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  They'll oblige.

• 1:03Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Did your dad ever ask you to be his?

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Of course not.

• 1:07Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Did you guys do Valentine's?

• 1:09Speaker 01

  We didn't even have it.

• 1:10Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Well, we did. My mom, no, my mom would sometimes.

• 1:15Dax Shepard?

  Would she get you a box of chocolate? My mom would get us a box of chocolates.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  I think she would do something nice every now and then.

• 1:20Dax Shepard?

  But I'm not gonna get my kids anything because they're already spoiled. They already have too much chocolate.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Tell them that on Valentine's Day. Be my Valentine. I'm not getting you anything.

• 1:27Dax Shepard?

  You're gonna repent this Valentine's Day. Please enjoy Bad Proposals. We get support from Quince.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Okay, can we talk about the fact that the holidays are already here? It's crazy. I feel like I blinked and now we're in gifting season, which I'm not really mad about because I do love giving gifts and Quince is making it so easy to find something great for everyone on my list, including myself, because let's be honest, self-gifting is a love language.

• 1:54Dax Shepard?

  Quince is seriously the gift that keeps on giving. Their high-quality staples are made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, 14-karat gold, and Italian leather. Full-on luxury quality at prices that won't wreck your holiday budget.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  It's the dream. The cashmere sweater starting at $60, down jackets, wool outerwear, cashmere accessories. You and everyone on your list are staying cozy and looking incredible all season long.

• 2:21Dax Shepard?

  Well, I'm gonna tell you this, it just got chilly for the first time this year in California, and I'm so excited, and I'm wearing my Quince cashmere right now.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 2:29Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, and I am going to gift this to some of my friends. I hope they're not listening.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  Quince is also more than clothing. They've got fine jewelry for your significant other, leather bags for your bestie, hotel-quality bedding to set up your guest rooms, chef-grade cookware. That's an amazing thing they offer here, and it's such a good gift because people don't like buying cookware for themselves, but it's very important. And they also have five-star luggage, another good gift that people don't like buying for themselves.

• 2:56Dax Shepard?

  Give the gift of quality this holiday season. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Armchair Expert. It's the best way to support the show. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Medium Fries and a Drink is now $8. Okay, I need to talk about something that doesn't get enough respect. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese. This is not a casual burger. This is a crafted burger. We're talking 100% fresh beef,

• 3:38Dax Shepard?

  cooked right when you order it. No artificial flavors, no fillers, no preservatives, just beef doing what beef is supposed to do. And here's a detail I love. There's a cowbell sound in the kitchen. When somebody orders a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, a cowbell goes off and the Grill Master throws a fresh patty down. That's like having your own entrance music at McDonald's. I want a cowbell for everything in life. The onions are hand-topped by someone who just knows the right amount. Two slices of cheese laid out in a star pattern, so every single bite gets cheese. And two pickles, side by side, so you're never in a pickle desert. Every bite is accounted for. Someone engineered this thing with love. I love a Quarter Pounder.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Me, too. That's my order. It's a Quarter Pounder. With cheese. I love it. I didn't know they put so much effort that they did a star formation. I should have known because you can taste it.

• 4:29Dax Shepard?

  You can taste it. Yeah. The love. Don't tell anyone this, but I'll put two of them back.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm not surprised.

• 4:35Dax Shepard?

  The Quarter Pounder with cheese with fries and a drink. Now $8 for a limited time only. Only at McDonald's. For a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 5:12Dax Shepard?

  Cole?

• 5:13Speaker 02

  How you guys doing?

• 5:14Dax Shepard?

  Good. Can you hear us?

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can hear you guys. Can you hear me?

• 5:17Dax Shepard?

  Yes. Where are you, Cole?

• 5:18Speaker 02

  All right. I was really worried about the sound quality, so hopefully it's all right. I am in my closet here.

• 5:23Dax Shepard?

  Sound is dynamite. Connection is a little iffy. Are you far from your wifi? Because we might have to piss Monica off and get you out of the closet.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  I'm through four doors. I can go in a different room here.

• 5:35Dax Shepard?

  Now we're getting a nice tour of your home.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  I can go to the home office here.

• 5:40Dax Shepard?

  Somehow got worse. I hate to say this.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  So I was right.

• 5:44Dax Shepard?

  We've lost the visual of you. Can I ask one last thing? Would you be willing to go to that first room you walked into? Because it was dynamite in there.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  My wife is getting ready for work here.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry.

• 5:55Dax Shepard?

  Our apologies. Sorry. Now we've got great image. We've got great sound. Hi. Tell her we say hi.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  She's stressed. She says hello.

• 6:05Dax Shepard?

  All right. Now we're talking. Cole, where are you?

• 6:07Speaker 02

  I'm in Billings, Montana.

• 6:09Dax Shepard?

  Ah, that explains the spotty wifi.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  Yup. This story may or may not involve some other spotty cell service areas.

• 6:18Dax Shepard?

  Okay, great. Are you from Billings?

• 6:21Speaker 02

  No, so I'm originally from Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania.

• 6:24Dax Shepard?

  What brought you to Montana?

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Work.

• 6:25Dax Shepard?

  You're a strong man. You've got broad shoulders. Are you doing something physical?

• 6:30Speaker 02

  I am not. I'm actually a chemical engineer, but I do work at a refinery.

• 6:35Dax Shepard?

  Are you lifting incredibly heavy test tubes all day?

• 6:38Speaker 02

  That's right. I load them up with the lead and all the other heavy things.

• 6:42Dax Shepard?

  Cole, hit us with this bad proposal.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  The bulk of it is in Billings, Montana. I've lived here for about four years now. I was proposing to my girlfriend at the time. Just to give a little bit of backstory, met on New Year's Eve, very high school musical. We like to kind of think that we're a little Troy and Gabriella.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Every New Year's Eve after, we kind of celebrate our anniversary. We both like to ski, so we'll go up to the mountains and make a whole weekend out of it. Flash forward to March of 2021, and I'm thinking about proposing. I buy the ring, but I'm planning the proposal and I want to get engaged New Year's Eve. The whole plan is we're gonna go to Park City, we're gonna ski, we're gonna have a beautiful time in the mountains. It's gonna be gorgeous proposal, get engaged.

• 7:26Dax Shepard?

  I love it.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Fast forward to April, we now are moving houses. I don't want her to find the ring as we're packing up all the boxes. I actually send it to Pennsylvania, to my parents' house. I'm young, so I just kind of pop it in a little manila envelope.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  USPS kind of do its thing.

• 7:45Dax Shepard?

  Cole, you're a bright man. You're a chemical engineer. I think keistering it during the move would have been preferred to that.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what, it made it there no problem.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Oh, that was a red herring.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  But now, fast forward to October, November, we've kind of decided to make it a big trip. I suggested it because I wanted to have our friends and family there, and that way it could kind of be a big celebration after the proposal. The issue is that all of my friends and family could go and were on board, and none of her friends and family could go at all. I have all these group chats going with my friends, and she gets really sad, so I start thinking, well. She's gonna be real sad if I propose and none of her friends and family are around. This is when I kinda start wanting to audible here. The issue now is that I don't have the ring.

• 8:33Dax Shepard?

  Right, right.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  So now I have to call my parents because originally we were gonna go home to Pennsylvania for Christmas. I was gonna pick the ring up. I thought I had the perfect plan. So now I have to ask them to ship the ring back through the mail. So now they put it in another vanilla envelope.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Ship the ring back through the mail. I can't send it to my house because she might open it. So I gotta send it to a friend's house now, so I'm not even receiving this thing.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Again, the ring gets here unscathed.

• 9:05Dax Shepard?

  USPS, whatever it is. Good job.

• 9:08Speaker 02

  So now I adjust the plan a little bit because we live in Montana, beautiful state, about an hour away. There's like a nice mountain near us. So I plan a little weekend that we're gonna go to that mountain. So it's Friday morning of the engagement weekend. And I'm texting in this New Year's Eve group chat and I sent a text that's like, hey, I'm gonna get engaged this weekend. You guys happy for me or what? And the next thing I see pop up is Tess was removed from the group chat.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  She was on it?

• 9:37Dax Shepard?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  One of my friends had added her in to the group chat.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Because she was so upset that she wasn't being included in these plans. And the next text I get is, what the hell did you just do? And I look at my phone and I'm at work and I just scream, fuck.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Everybody's dead silent. So I work kinda in a high-risk business, so everybody thinks something really bad happened. You could hear a pin drop, cuz we've had really bad days.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  My boss comes over to me and he's like, what the hell just happened? And I kinda tell him and he says, go home and I don't wanna see you until Monday. Get your shit sorted out.

• 10:21Dax Shepard?

  Oh, oh, good boss.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  That is a good boss, but he was upset.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Yep. So I got about four hours until she gets home from work. I'm doing the whole nine. You know, I'm getting flowers, I'm getting chalk. I'm trying to set everything up at home and then I remember she wants it recorded so I go and I try and set up the camera. My video on my phone is not working.

• 10:42Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Quick troubleshooting, find the first number for a remote Apple support, call it and they're just like, you know what? We can fix this problem. It's going to cost about $250. If you download the screen sharing app, we can really see what's going on here. So I download the screen sharing app. Then they say, we just need a wire transfer. So all you gotta do is open up and log into your bank.

• 11:02Dax Shepard?

  Oh. Stop it.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  So I go in, I got the screen sharing app, I open up my bank app and then it all hits me. I'm just like, I'm getting scammed right now.

• 11:14Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  I hang up on the guy, immediately he calls me back. He's like, what happened? I was like, oh yeah, you wanted 170, right? He goes, yeah, yeah, 170. I was like, you said 250 before. Hang up again.

• 11:26Dax Shepard?

  That one's smarter than you.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  I'm wise to it. So thankfully I avoid getting scammed.

• 11:31Dax Shepard?

  At any point, do you think the Lord is telling you to not get married to this woman?

• 11:36Speaker 02

  If that's what he was trying to say, I powered through.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Finally, she gets home. I proposed to her. It was good and she kinda looks at me and she goes, I really appreciate it, but I really wanna see how you were actually gonna propose. So I get another chance of redemption. Saturday morning early, we load the car up. It's December in Montana, but we're going hiking. And so we get about 10 miles out of cell service. We're about a half mile from the trailhead. I can see the trailhead in the car and I hit a little snow drift. So the first one, car kinda moves a little bit and I see a second one coming up and I say, you know what? All I need is a little more gas. I'm driving my Honda Accord Crosstour, so I give it a little more gas. We barely squeaked through the second snow drift and then I see a third one coming up and I think to myself, you know what? It worked last time.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  A little more gas is all I need. I speed that thing up and I beach the car on a two foot snow drift. Totally immovable.

• 12:35Dax Shepard?

  Cole, do you recognize you're an interesting mix of brilliant as hell and dumb as fuck?

• 12:41Speaker 02

  I would say that's spot on.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  I think my friends would describe me as the smartest person they know with the absolute least amount of common sense.

• 12:52Dax Shepard?

  Okay, that works more of a PG version, but yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  So now we're beached in a Honda, it is 15 degrees out. I got about a quarter tank of gas. Usually prepping for the winter in Montana, I got my blankets, my snow shovel, my emergency kit, just in case. I have not done that this year because it was a mild winter. All I have is a

• 13:13Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that's not gonna help.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  I tell my fiancee, wait in the car. So I spend the next about three hours in small gloves because I wasn't planning on doing significant work with a snow scraper, digging out the car.

• 13:28Dax Shepard?

  This is miserable.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Do you think she was like, I don't want to go through with this?

• 13:33Dax Shepard?

  She must be thinking there's a lot of red flags.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  I'm worried at this point now. Get the car unburied, four floor mats under the wheels, get it out of this snow drift, start driving back and we are driving back in absolute silence. My fingers are numb, I'm bloody. And finally, she kind of looks over at me, she's like, you know what, one day this will be funny, but right now, aren't you glad that you screwed it up yesterday? And all I could just say was like, yo.

• 14:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 14:04Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, that's a rough start.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  But can only go up from there.

• 14:08Dax Shepard?

  That's a good silver lining.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  We got married on December 29th, just celebrated our first year of marriage.

• 14:13Dax Shepard?

  Congratulations. You went through hell and high water or high snow to get there? Cole, you're a delight. This gal, as shitty as the proposal was, is a lucky woman.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  And we got to meet her. We didn't even realize.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  I did not tell her that I was gonna try and commandeer the closet and she comes in at like 1:40 and she's like, what the hell are you doing? I'm getting ready for work. I gotta go. It was very high stress at the beginning of this.

• 14:37Dax Shepard?

  High stress feels like it might be status quo.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  These are not really abnormal situations for me, unfortunately.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Oh, this is great.

• 14:44Dax Shepard?

  It's a delight meeting you. Thank you for telling us that story. We're so sorry you went through all that.

• 14:49Speaker 02

  Great to meet you guys. And my college roommate, Matt, and his wife Courtney, they got me into listening to podcasts and they are super up on the prompts and they sent it to me and they're just like, you gotta.

• 15:01Dax Shepard?

  Oh, well, thank them for us. All right. Great meeting you.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Nice to meet you guys. Thanks.

• 15:07Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 15:08Dax Shepard?

  Is this Olivia?

• 15:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Look at your sweater.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Just for you guys and my earrings.

• 15:14Dax Shepard?

  Cherry to the max.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  For a second, I thought they were tattoos. When I just first glanced, I thought those were your arms.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  No cherry tattoos yet. I have an orange and a peach.

• 15:23Dax Shepard?

  Oh, so that would go perfectly into your fruit aesthetic.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  It would.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  You're in a legit sound booth.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  I'm at my brother's house. He does voice acting commercials and stuff. As soon as I got the email, I was like, I need the setup.

• 15:36Dax Shepard?

  Get out of there. I don't care what audition you have. Are you in California?

• 15:39Speaker 03

  No, I'm in Syracuse, New York.

• 15:41Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay. He's doing voice work up there. That's interesting.

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Remotely.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 15:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay, so you have a bad proposal story.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Since you guys started doing anonymous, I was waiting for this prompt. I said, when this prompt comes out, I am locked in. They're gonna pick it and everybody in my life is like, please don't get your hopes up. There's millions of people that listen and I said, no, this is it. May 2017, my boyfriend and I had been dating for like five years. We're talking about getting engaged. May 1st, we go look at rings. I pick out a ring that I love. I know he buys it that day, even though he makes me wait outside. So after May 1st, I'm on high alert. Nails done, dressed up. Anywhere we're hanging out, I'm looking good. I'm ready to go.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  This is our proposal. May 15th, he says, we're gonna go out to dinner, wear a nice dress. I'm gonna pick you up and I'm like, okay, it's gonna happen. So we start driving. He's driving past all of our regular spots. We're starting to get into some weird backroads and unfamiliar territory. After about 40 minutes in the car, he starts to slow down. I see a sign on the side of the road that I recognize. Trail of terror.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  What the fuck?

• 16:55Speaker 03

  This is where he and I had our first date.

• 16:58Dax Shepard?

  Can you tell us what the trail of terror is?

• 17:01Speaker 03

  There's a huge open field, which in peak season is packed with people. People are drinking, people are having snacks, they're hanging out with their friends. There's a big projector playing scary movies. And then in the far right corner of the field, there's a trail that goes through the woods that you pay. To get a ticket and you walk down and they jump out and scare you.

• 17:19Dax Shepard?

  It's like a haunted trail.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Year round?

• 17:22Speaker 03

  No, this is just an October thing. So we had our first date like the week before Halloween 2012. So to the right of the field, it's not a haunted house, but it's like a trailer connected to a barn. They makeshifted a haunted house. So that's a separate attraction, but basically an empty lot, dirt parking lot, nobody's there. We pull in, I'm like, it's our first day, this is where it's gonna happen. But I am oldest daughter, Virgo, notorious rule follower, don't like to take risks. I'm not a trespasser. He is the opposite. He's youngest son. He's like, whatever, let's go. There's no other cars. There's no sign of life in this place. It's the middle of May. It's a beautiful sunny day. So he leads me out into the middle of the big field and he's holding my hands. He's looking at me.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  We're chatting and I know it's about to happen. I'm letting it sink in while still being like, I'm afraid of getting in trouble. As we're chatting from the tree line away from the trail, away from the barn, we hear a voice going, hey, what the fuck are you doing here?

• 18:19Dax Shepard?

  Oh, no.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  We're like in our sappy moment and we look over and this man, bucket hat, sunglasses, shotgun, starts charging at us.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  I've told you kids, get the fuck out of here. No trespassing. And I'm like, I knew this was gonna happen, but I'm panicking. I'm like, sir, I'm so sorry, we're leaving right now. And he's like, absolutely fucking not. This is not happening again. And I am like, this is how I'm about to die. And my parents are gonna find out that I trespassed at a haunted trail and that's how I was murdered by this man with a shotgun.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, he wants to make an example out of you too.

• 19:03Dax Shepard?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Every family has that one holiday tradition, nobody actually enjoys, but everyone keeps doing because stopping it would feel like a federal offense. For me, it was a specific meal situation that I will not name because my family listens. But at some point you have to ask yourself, am I doing this because I love it or because I'm afraid of what happens if I don't?

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Yes, and that. Question applies to so much more than the holidays. I think a lot of us carry these invisible rules about how we're supposed to spend the holidays. We're supposed to see what it's supposed to look like. And when you start unpacking that with a therapist, you realize half of your stress is coming from rules you didn't even write.

• 19:42Dax Shepard?

  This is where BetterHelp can be a great resource during the holidays. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, which means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recs.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  I just love therapy. I've been avoiding it recently, or not avoiding it, but I was like, oh, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy. I haven't canceled, canceled, canceled, but then I-

• 20:09Dax Shepard?

  You start feeling it.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, because then I had it this past weekend and I was like, oh my God, I'm just, thank God, thank God for her. Yeah.

• 20:17Dax Shepard?

  BetterHelp is now in-network with more than 125 health plans with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/dax. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash DAX. We get support from our sponsor, Lilly. For adults with obesity or with excess weight and weight-related medical problems, it's time to find out about Foundo or for Gleepran. Foundo is a once-daily prescription GLP-1 medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity

• 21:00Dax Shepard?

  or some adults with overweight who also have weight-related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  Foundo should not be used with other GLP-1 receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if Foundo is safe and effective for use in children. Don't take Foundo if you're allergic to it or if you or someone in your family had majorary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck, or severe stomach pain. Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes. If you're nursing, pregnant, plant to be, or taking birth control pills, and before scheduled procedures with- Taking Foundao with an insulin or sulfonylurea may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems.

• 21:46Speaker 04

  Once Daily Foundao is available by prescription only in 0.8 mg, 2.5 mg, 5.5 mg, 9 mg, 14.5 mg, and 17.2 mg tablets. Learn more at foundao.lily.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX. Now is perfect to talk to your doctor about Foundao.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  The guy goes, "This is the last time this is happening." Come on, boys. From behind us, in the haunted trailer slash barn, we hear the garage door open and hear chainsaws.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Are you kidding me?

• 22:24Speaker 03

  Out comes these people with masks, like clowns, scary. The guy with the gun is charging one way at us, the clowns are coming the other way at us. We're surrounded in the middle of nowhere. Nobody knows where we are.

• 22:37Dax Shepard?

  This is a horror movie.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  I'm kind of laughing because I'm so nervous, like I'm having fight or flight freeze, I guess.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  I look at Paul, he doesn't look nervous about them, he's like afraid of me in the moment.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Oh, no. He did not.

• 22:49Speaker 03

  And I say, "Did you do this?"

• 22:50Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I wasn't there.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  He planted it.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  He was totally in the middle.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 23:01Dax Shepard?

  That's spectacular.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  He kneels down and pulls the spring out. We're still surrounded.

• 23:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, pictures.

• 23:10Speaker 03

  It's so scary.

• 23:11Dax Shepard?

  Oh, yeah, I'm glad you sent pictures because this is really a hard to believe... Oh, my god, and your, now, I would imagine, husband has... Yeah, they're very scary masks. For anyone that thinks these were like amazon.com fucking masks, no, these are Atelier bespoke masks. Your husband has the most nervous laugh smile on his face looking at you.

• 23:36Speaker 03

  So he reached out to the Trail of Terror and said, "Hey, this is where we had our first date. I know it's your off-season. Do you mind if we just come on the property so I can propose?" And they're like, "Absolutely." And then the guy sends a message like an hour later and is like, "Do you want us to scare her?" And sends this whole plot for how they would scare me. And he was really unsure and finally was like, "We could do like a light scare, like thinking that they're gonna pop out somewhere."

• 24:02Dax Shepard?

  Sure.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Like the gun was not mentioned. Threatening of our lives was not mentioned.

• 24:08Dax Shepard?

  Chainsaws.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  He's got the ring out. I feel like I blacked out. Like, I really don't remember this, but I know that I plucked it out of the box and I started walking to the car. I was so pissed. I was like, I'm taking my ring. I'm getting the fuck out of here.

• 24:22Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, no party, you liked it, right?

• 24:24Speaker 03

  No, he's like laughing. He's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And I turn around. All the clown people start taking their mask off. Two of the scary people are are super good friends that are photographers, and they captured the whole thing. So that's how we have the pictures.

• 24:36Dax Shepard?

  Do you start thawing as you see it's your own friends?

• 24:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, and they brought a bottle of champagne. She had it ready. And then I start to relax.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  That is so funny.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  It was really scary.

• 24:48Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, what does that group of folks do between October and the following October?

• 24:53Speaker 03

  It's so funny because the guy who sent the whole plot that works at the trail, he's like, I'm gonna see if I can round up some guys. Larry's got volleyball tonight, or whatever. They're just normal dudes, but he's like, my scarers are around. They're just jonesing to scare some people.

• 25:09Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  And is your life fun like this?

• 25:12Speaker 03

  He is so fun.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Oh, I love this.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Now, and I still pick on him for this. And he's like, it's so special. But like, I was traumatized for a bit, but I wouldn't trade out. Obviously, I got to talk to you guys.

• 25:24Dax Shepard?

  That's one step away from choreographing a car accident. Like, you get T-bone, and then the ambulance comes in, it's your mom and dad, and they've got you.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  Look, it's memorable.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  For sure. My friends that took the photos and videos, they did our wedding too. So they made this whole beautiful wedding video. And at the end, he has the footage of the proposal. And it's so loud and clear. At the end, I say, white guys with guns are my biggest fear.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  If he was just a clown, I'd be like, okay, weirdo. Yes, I'm scared. But the man threatening my life really took it to another level.

• 25:56Dax Shepard?

  Really ups the stakes in a hurry.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  You were right to know this would get picked. I don't think we're gonna have a story like this.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  I really had a feeling. I'm so glad. He is here, and also my siblings are here. If they could just peek their heads into the sun booth.

• 26:10Dax Shepard?

  Hi there.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  This is the husband.

• 26:13Dax Shepard?

  You have the most adorable nervous smile and all those. Photos like, is she gonna get over this?

• 26:18Speaker 05

  Oh my gosh, I was worried.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  What a swing you took.

• 26:21Speaker 05

  I know. I didn't intend to do anything scary, but he was just so passionate about it and so excited. And he was like, I'll get my crew.

• 26:30Speaker 01

  That's a nice thing you did for them.

• 26:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 26:33Speaker 05

  It made it fun.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  We love you guys so much.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  I was squeezing into the booth.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  You guys are so cute.

• 26:40Dax Shepard?

  It's delightful to meet you guys.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  Nice to meet you all.

• 26:43Speaker 03

  We're so happy Liv got to tell our story. It was hysterical.

• 26:46Dax Shepard?

  Yes, unbelievable. I was completely on the hook. Did not see it coming. Monica got it. She was a little ahead of me.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  A little ahead. It took a while though.

• 26:53Dax Shepard?

  It was great.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  It was so lovely to meet you guys.

• 26:55Dax Shepard?

  Yes, you guys too. Take care. I went into a hole like I totally believe these crazies live in that barn lady.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  It could have gone that way. How would I?

• 27:05Dax Shepard?

  You would, well.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  You don't know.

• 27:08Dax Shepard?

  I don't know. You're right. But when you get scared.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  I mean, I would be crying.

• 27:12Dax Shepard?

  Right, yeah.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  So then I maybe, I would be crying, but I would also be happy.

• 27:19Dax Shepard?

  That'd be nice.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Which would you rather happen, the proposal on the Jumbotron from last week or this? I would rather this.

• 27:26Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you wouldn't be hated. Then you're surrounded by love, family and friends and champagne. All the stuff they wanted to get through this other part first.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  I mean, I guess then you're really hopped up. Your adrenaline is up.

• 27:38Dax Shepard?

  Aroused.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  You're aroused.

• 27:40Dax Shepard?

  Hop in the back of the car.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  Maybe that's a fun evening. You're feeling like life is so short.

• 27:45Dax Shepard?

  Get the chainsaws going in the background. Oh, hi.

• 27:48Speaker 05

  Hi.

• 27:49Dax Shepard?

  Jessica, where are you?

• 27:50Speaker 05

  I'm in Texas.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  Ooh la la, where?

• 27:53Dax Shepard?

  What part?

• 27:54Speaker 05

  Fort Worth.

• 27:54Dax Shepard?

  Did you grow up there?

• 27:55Speaker 05

  Yes, but I at eighteen flew out of here like a bat out of hell into Colorado.

• 28:00Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 28:01Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 28:02Speaker 05

  So I was in a relationship. It was serious. We lived together. He made content in the Rocky Mountains for a ski resort. He ended up taking a job in Salt Lake City for an even bigger ski resort. He comes to me and says, I have to hike this mountain facing the big mountain ski town that he works for to get content of Star Gazing. So he has to get a shot at midnight of the ski resort. So we have to hike up this really intense mountain. Starting at dusk, it's gonna be four hours to go up. I'm complaining about this. I'm like, I don't wanna do it. I understand why I have to do this.

• 28:36Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we just go up there on your own and get the fucking shot and then come home.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  Well, apparently he has to go with somebody because it's dangerous. I'm just hemming and hawing, like, I don't wanna do this. And he's like, no, please, this guy can't come with me. I need you to go. I'm being pretty whiny here.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  No, you just have a boundary.

• 28:53Speaker 05

  I mega learned boundaries from this whole situation over many years' time. Then we even do a test run. The Sunday before, he's like, we need to practice this because this is a huge hike. And so we're hiking up this mountain. I'm just upset the whole time. The next week comes along when it's time to do this important night shoot where they're gonna have the whole resort lit up. Turns out there's a storm coming as well.

• 29:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh geez.

• 29:17Speaker 05

  So we get to the trailhead at dusk and I'm complaining about it still. And he stops and he goes, please, if you ever just do anything for me for the rest of your life, please just do this.

• 29:28Dax Shepard?

  At any point are you getting the least bit suspicious?

• 29:31Speaker 05

  It's only when he said that, but my mind went to, there's no way that he's going to do this. When I have made it clear, I don't wanna go on this hike.

• 29:40Dax Shepard?

  This is not my dream proposal situation.

• 29:42Speaker 05

  No, and if you knew me, you know, I'm not wanting to live in the mountains. He's like, I have to do this. It's dangerous. Someone has to come. And so I'm finally just given. We get to the top and all I do is collapse on the ground. I'm in fetal position, feeling sorry for myself, and he's setting up this camera on a tripod. And all of a sudden, he's like, please, please just come over here. I just need one thing from you. And so I forced myself to get up. I walk past the camera and I could see, actually, it was really beautiful. The stars, there's lightning in the distance, by the way.

• 30:14Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful.

• 30:15Speaker 05

  Here at the top of a mountain of a really difficult hike, I go walk over in front of the camera and he drops down on one knee. And he opens a little box and it's lit up. And I see this glimmering sparkling flower ring. And the first thing out of my mouth was, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not now. Please not now.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, this is tough.

• 30:40Speaker 05

  I must have blacked out the rest.

• 30:43Speaker 05

  I just have a flash of I know now I have to go down this mountain with this storm impending. The moment that is supposed to be so special.

• 30:52Dax Shepard?

  You're walking into your shared future together. The other thing is if I'm this person, I want a sincere yes. That's what I'm in the market for. I don't want anything coerced. Like people who ask people to marry them in front of huge crowds. I'm like, don't they realize the person kind of has to say yes? And in this case, even if you wanted to say no, you're like, I'm gonna say no. And then we're gonna be on a fucking four hour hike in the middle of the night on this mountain.

• 31:17Speaker 01

  You did say no.

• 31:19Speaker 05

  Oh, that's the funny thing. I look back now and I never said yes, but it was an assumed yes.

• 31:24Dax Shepard?

  Right. Not now means like later.

• 31:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just crying. And we get down the mountain and he had this hotel room had champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. I just remember crying in the hotel and I think he said something like, I just thought that once it would happen, you'd be happy.

• 31:42Dax Shepard?

  Probably picked the wrong girl for that whole exercise.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  Because no, she said so many times.

• 31:49Dax Shepard?

  No, no, I know. He wanted the gal we talked to who is a riverboat guide. He's picked the wrong partner for what he wants to do. Oh shit, are you guys happily married? You're not married. Okay, I panicked. You hold up your hand like, oh fuck, you're happily married. But you know, like you're giving signs the whole time. You want someone that wants to hike up to the top of this mountain.

• 32:10Speaker 05

  Definitely that's true, but I think more than anything he wanted the photo. I think he had a vision in his mind of I want this photo.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  And even if the intention was good.

• 32:21Dax Shepard?

  It was a little murky.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  I've had to learn a lot. We both did, obviously.

• 32:24Dax Shepard?

  So what happens when you're in the hotel room and you're crying?

• 32:27Speaker 01

  We go to bed because we're so codependent. We're obviously getting married. Oh, God. We're not gonna break up. That's insane.

• 32:35Dax Shepard?

  That's too scary.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  The next day, he posts the picture. This is it.

• 32:40Dax Shepard?

  Oh, it's beautiful. He was on to something with the photo. So at first I was like, that's so cute. He figured out how to light the ring from the box. So you could see it up there. But now I realize, no, no, that was always going to be a part of the photograph.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. And we were together for like two years and I couldn't plan the damn wedding. And then it imploded, you know, the big lesson of if you don't listen in life, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Until life forces you to change.

• 33:05Dax Shepard?

  I think in those situations, their subconscious figures out how to get them out of it. If they themselves can't, you end up having an affair, something materializes, your subconscious saves you somehow.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  The bottom will fall out at some point. Yeah.

• 33:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, thank God it wasn't post marriage and kids.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  I'm so grateful for all of it, genuinely.

• 33:25Dax Shepard?

  And did he find an outdoorsy gal?

• 33:27Speaker 01

  I have no idea.

• 33:28Dax Shepard?

  Okay.

• 33:31Dax Shepard?

  Fair enough.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  I hope so.

• 33:32Dax Shepard?

  Yeah. Here's a question. In your analysis, looking back, what was it that you think he represented that you had decided, oh, I'm supposed to be with someone like this? Like, what story did you have? Why was he the person you were supposed to be with at that time?

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Well, I fell in love immediately. You know, when you meet someone and it's like, whoa, all of your childhood stuff is brought up immediately because it's so intense.

• 33:55Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  Immediately I knew my life had changed forever. And now I know that's you, but red flag. Yeah, right, right. Yeah. It was just a mask, I think, for me to remain really comfortable, to not put myself out there and I could kind of hide. It was very codependent. That.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  Ending shot me into deep emotional intelligence over time because to have the kind of life and love that I want has forced me to grow immensely.

• 34:19Dax Shepard?

  Do you think it's possible that when someone has great dreams and aspirations, but they have some fear preventing them, pursuing them, and then they meet someone who's already so clearly on a trajectory that just folding into that feels like a great way to not have to confront those fears?

• 34:35Speaker 04

  Absolutely. I mean, I just didn't have internal backbone of like I'm whole within myself and I've had to learn that incrementally over time. I was learning that through that relationship, even getting to that relationship, I had to grow tremendously to even be in it. So everything was perfect. There was no time wasted.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:55Dax Shepard?

  Well, good. And you got a really beautiful photo out of it. I mean, there's no arguing. That's a gorgeous photo.

• 35:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I haven't seen it in many years.

• 35:02Dax Shepard?

  Sure. Could be on National Geographic.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:06Dax Shepard?

  I'm glad no one died on this hike, nighttime hike.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Struck by lightning.

• 35:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, it's so funny to me that there are all these impending dangers, like falling off a cliff or being struck by lightning. And the real danger was the proposal.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 35:20Dax Shepard?

  Well, Jessica, yeah, lovely meeting you.

• 35:23Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 35:24Dax Shepard?

  Take care.

• 35:25Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 35:43Speaker 01

  I'm gonna text you guys photos for the next one. Don't look yet. Don't look.

• 35:47Dax Shepard?

  I'm getting my phone.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Don't look.

• 35:49Dax Shepard?

  Ready for Cole? Oh, there's Cole again.

• 35:53Speaker 05

  Hello, can you guys hear me?

• 35:54Dax Shepard?

  Oh, beautifully. Cole, you're our second Cole today and we don't generally have Coles.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  Really?

• 36:01Dax Shepard?

  Yes.

• 36:02Speaker 05

  Okay. I love that.

• 36:05Dax Shepard?

  Where are you at in the country?

• 36:06Speaker 05

  I am in Las Vegas, born and raised.

• 36:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wonderful. Okay. So you have a bad proposal story and we're dying to hear it.

• 36:13Speaker 05

  It is a pretty wild story. So buckle up for this one. I'll set the scene a little bit. My girlfriend and I, we had been together since high school. So we were high school sweethearts. We We're going to the University of Utah for college and we were in our junior slash senior year. We're kind of that new norm of five year senior. We were living together and full intention of getting married and everything like that. Just still wanted to finish out school and we unexpectedly got pregnant.

• 36:46Dax Shepard?

  Okay, congratulations.

• 36:49Speaker 05

  A little bit early. Still wanted kids and I was so close to getting my degree and I loved the University of Utah. It was really important for me to get my degree there and then we were gonna move back home. It's where all of our family is. She really wanted her mom to be there when we had our first son. I was kind of naive when I graduated and I don't know if it was a little bit of arrogance or just being naive of like, yeah, I'm gonna move back home. I'm gonna get a job. It's gonna be easy. They're gonna see University of Utah. It's a pretty decent business school. And I moved back home and I just could not find a job.

• 37:24Dax Shepard?

  What year was this?

• 37:25Speaker 05

  This was 2018. I had made a promise to my girlfriend. I was like, all right, by the end of the year, we are gonna get engaged. But once again, this was with that naive intention of I'll have an entry level job. I'll be able to start saving. I'm gonna be living with her mom. We'll have the opportunity to save up some of those funds. And then I got a recruiting job at a Bed Bath and Beyond e-commerce center.

• 37:53Dax Shepard?

  Oh, okay.

• 37:55Speaker 05

  And all I had to do was recruit people to work there for the holiday season. And as long as you didn't murder people, you got a job. I was only supposed to be there from October to December. And I had done a well enough job that they were like, okay, we'll keep you till March. And it was approaching the end of the year. I still had this pressure to get this dang ring. And I'm working all this overtime and busting my tail with all the pressure there so that I can meet this goal. Now it's like a goal for myself instead of this wonderful woman and mother of your first child that you've been with since you were 15. This is also for her. It was like this personal stretch for me to get to the finish line.

• 38:37Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're either gonna be a failure or not based on this arbitrary goal.

• 38:42Speaker 05

  About a week before all of this happens.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  The job after telling me I was gonna be there till March, they were like, we're not gonna be able to do this. We're so sorry. You've crushed it, but they just aren't gonna let us keep you here unless you wanna go work on the warehouse floor. And I was like, I don't think I'm prepared for that. I am super low. This year is gone really rough. And I call my mom. We go to this Marie Callender's that's across from a jeweler. She's like, I'll help you with the financing of this ring. You made a promise. We love her and we know you love her, so we'll help you out. And I'm like, cool. Part of me still doesn't feel right. I'm still just doing this to meet a goal.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Because I wanna be able to have the elaborate dinner and that moment and I get to share all of my heart. And now it's kind of turned into, let's get this ring. You're gonna do an impromptu proposal and just be like, trust me, we're gonna have a good life. I love you to death. Let me finish this promise. We pick out the ring and next week they're like, come back. We'll have all the pieces together. We'll put the finishing touches. We go in the morning. We finish it out and they're like, all right, come at four forty-five. Store's gonna be closing and we'll get you set up. The piece I've left out so far is this jeweler was in a terrible part of town. My mom wasn't gonna come this time, so it was just gonna be me.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  And I show up and there was another couple there. I'm just waiting in their lobby until they're ready to call me up. Once I go up showing me the ring, it looks amazing. All that fear and kind of extra stuff I was worried about went away. Because now at the end of the day, I do get to marry my best friend, mother of my child. It's amazing. And then, out of nowhere, I would say the length of this is maybe forty feet or so. Two robbers walk in. No. Both in ski masks and it's guns raised. Everybody get the fuck on the ground. Don't move.

• 40:50Speaker 01

  One guy jumps over the display and starts heading towards the back. There's two owners that are up at the front, one's kind of dealing with the billing and closing out for the day and the other's with me. And the other thief is.

• 41:04Speaker 05

  Heading towards us. My hands are up now, looking back like, there's no fucking way this is happening.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:12Dax Shepard?

  And does it cross your mind, I don't care what they steal, but don't steal this ring?

• 41:16Speaker 05

  Oh, I think he was more than that.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 05

  It was like, is this fucking it? He then directs me to go behind the counter now. And all I could think of in the moment to respond was like, please don't kill me. I have a family. And then he's like, all right, get down on the ground. And everybody thinks this is a weird part when I tell the story, but he was like, this'll all be over soon. And it kind of made me feel relieved.

• 41:42Speaker 01

  It did, because to me, that could mean I'm gonna kill you, it'll be over.

• 41:46Dax Shepard?

  It says a lot of things to me. It means, okay, there's a human here. They want me to know my suffering's gonna be over soon. I wouldn't think he's gonna kill me. I would think he's letting me know we're gonna be in and out. There's just something very human about that.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Ways to take it.

• 41:59Speaker 05

  I think I'd be closer to you, Dax. Him responding in general gave me a little bit of just weird comfort. Because what he does next is then zip tie my hands.

• 42:09Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow. These are like pros.

• 42:12Speaker 05

  Yes, we find that out later. As I'm down there, genuine, near death thoughts, am I gonna ever get to see my son again?

• 42:21Speaker 05

  I'm seriously not gonna get to marry my girlfriend. Like, I'm not gonna get any of this. And then a tad bit of, how is this my fucking luck? We're gonna make you lose your job and then let's do this to you.

• 42:33Dax Shepard?

  Strong arm robbery, let's throw that on.

• 42:35Speaker 05

  From the back, longtime jeweler for them. He was like a Venezuelan war vet. He is peeking around the corner with a gun.

• 42:44Dax Shepard?

  Now you gotta consider a shootout.

• 42:46Speaker 05

  And consider I did.

• 42:48Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 42:50Speaker 05

  They see him after he's poked his hat out a couple of times. And that is when the shooting starts.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  No!

• 42:55Dax Shepard?

  There is a shootout!

• 42:56Speaker 01

  Stop it!

• 42:57Speaker 05

  And it is a tight enclosure. There's a reason they have you wear headphones when you are at a gun range or anything, because it is loud. This whole ordeal feels like thirty minutes.

• 43:12Speaker 05

  I've seen the video because I had to go to court for it, all this stuff. I mean, it plays out over like four and a half minutes. And so the shootout might have been 10 seconds or so. And then it just stops. And then I feel somebody tugging at my back. And I turn around and it's one of the robbers. He isn't saying anything and I'm thinking he's trying to maybe mug me and leave.

• 43:33Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I'm thinking he's gonna use you as a shield. He's got to get you up.

• 43:37Speaker 05

  I think he was trying to prop himself up because all his motor functions are going at this point. Cause he got shot.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 43:42Speaker 05

  Several times.

• 43:43Speaker 01

  My god.

• 43:44Speaker 05

  And he's on top of my legs, so I'm also trapped. And so I'm looking back and I'm going, what do you want? And then his gun discharges in me.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  No.

• 43:53Dax Shepard?

  What?

• 43:54Speaker 05

  And so he shoots me on accident.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  Where on you?

• 43:58Speaker 05

  Right in my side and I actually shared some pictures. I sent them over.

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 44:03Dax Shepard?

  Oh, mama mia. It's not a graze because it definitely entered, but you can see it entered and exited. Did it exit?

• 44:11Speaker 05

  At least some shrapnel bit.

• 44:13Dax Shepard?

  Woo. Boy, thank God it was aimed just that inch to the right. Cause it didn't get any intestine or anything, right?

• 44:21Speaker 05

  Nope. And everyone that I work with now in a medical background and my friends that are in medical background, they're like, do you know just how lucky you are that he was not off by a couple centimeters? And I was like, probably don't want to play that what if game. Cause that's what kind of messes me up a little bit. But yeah, so he shoots me. It's the full spectrum of panic, fear, potential shock. I have like one shoe on at this point. My wallet and my phone are like sprayed across the room and I could like see all the blood off my phone.

• 44:52Dax Shepard?

  Oh, wow.

• 44:53Speaker 05

  And I tried to stand up and I was like, just no possible way. And so I inch over to this cabinet to kind of like prop myself up. And I'm just holding the wound. Felt like time had stopped. I mean, I'm looking straight ahead and there's a dead guy that I had to crawl out from under.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 45:12Speaker 05

  The dust kind of settles. I'm focused now, looking down at the wound the whole time, holding it. I tried to like slowly pick my sweatshirt off of my skin and I mean, it's like sobbing.

• 45:23Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 05

  It's stuck. It hurts. I've been seeing these videos lately, you know, like people doing the grip machine and squeezing as hard as they could. It feels like somebody is doing a grip machine on that spot.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 45:35Speaker 05

  And the burning is insane. That's why on the pictures you can see it's like black. That's a burn. Then the police come in. They had to like cut all my clothes off in the store on the gurney and I'm butt naked in a jury now.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 45:48Speaker 05

  But still.

• 45:49Dax Shepard?

  This one last thing, sir, before we get you to some medical treatment. We just gotta embarrass the fuck out of you for a minute.

• 45:55Speaker 05

  Exactly. And so now I'm on the way to the hospital. My uncle was a firefighter. My dad's a firefighter. And so I'm cracking jokes about the city fire department versus county fire department.

• 46:05Dax Shepard?

  Ah, sure.

• 46:06Speaker 05

  Thinking like, this guy is insane. He's potentially gonna die? And they're jabbing me with the IVs and everything and the ambulance is moving. And so I'm in the hospital now. They're like, all right, we're gonna take you up for a CT scan. They were looking and they said, okay, so where you got shot, it would be way riskier for us to do surgery to remove shrapnel than it would be to just let it be pushed out of your body over time.

• 46:29Dax Shepard?

  Right.

• 46:30Speaker 05

  It was not critical now. And so that kind of brought me some comfort. And then my girlfriend shows up and it was like, surprise.

• 46:38Dax Shepard?

  Oh, I bet she thought it was so sweet though. She's already worried about you and then you look at her and you say, I was there to get a ring. That's very sweet.

• 46:47Speaker 05

  She was like, I was looking at your phone location because you just stormed out of the house. You didn't say anything. You just said, love you, bye. What am I gonna say? Hey, on the way to get something really nice for you. She's like, I was looking at your location and then it just stopped at the hospital. My mother-in-law thought I got like in a bad road rage accident and so I was like, maybe I need to work on my anger.

• 47:07Dax Shepard?

  Who all got hit? You, the one robber who was on top, you died.

• 47:12Speaker 05

  And then the jeweler got shot a couple of times too.

• 47:14Dax Shepard?

  The guy that was shooting the gun?

• 47:16Speaker 05

  Yep, he shot and got shot and then the robber died from his shots and then the other robber took off.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 47:22Dax Shepard?

  Oh, boy.

• 47:23Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 47:24Dax Shepard?

  And did they ever find the other robber?

• 47:26Speaker 05

  They did and it was wild because I ended up having to testify, but I had never seen that guy's face. I could point out the other guy's eyes, at least from his mask. So I'm up there, I have to recant my story, then just say, I don't know this guy though. But they had planned this for weeks. They were jailmates in Florida. They had been pinging their phones and saw that there was like a thousand texts and calls over the past couple of weeks. I think that couple that was in the store earlier, they thought was probably the last customer.

• 47:57Dax Shepard?

  Ah, right.

• 47:58Speaker 05

  And so when that couple left, they're thinking, okay, we're good. Let's get in here.

• 48:03Dax Shepard?

  Are you resentful at the jeweler for escalating it to a gun battle? I hate to be judgmental of anyone when I wasn't in that situation, but I feel like they could have maybe just gotten out with all the jewelry and no one would have been in the emergency room.

• 48:17Speaker 05

  I think overall, I'm just glad I'm alive. People thought I would be angry and bitter towards the robbers and honestly, I'm not. Maybe they were in a circumstance that made them feel like they had to do that. That's unfortunate. People say, did it give you this newfound look on life? I think probably yes, but it didn't give me like, oh, why did he shoot and why did he do this? I made it out alive. It's a crazy story, but I didn't have as much anger towards him for that because I don't know what I would do in that situation. I was not one of those people that now that this happened to me, I'm going to go get a gun. I was like, I'm still not going to even get close to that. I'm good.

• 48:54Dax Shepard?

  Well, unfortunately, the fact that the jeweler had the gun is kind of what led to all the shooting. I can't imagine those guys were trying to get murder on top of robbery for no reason.

• 49:02Speaker 05

  Maybe that's also why when he told me this will all be over soon. That's why they zip tied me and just. We're trying to do a smash and grab and then it turned into a shootout.

• 49:11Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, fuck dude, that is wild.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  Oh, man, I'm so glad you got out of there.

• 49:16Dax Shepard?

  Did they get the ring?

• 49:17Speaker 05

  The robbers didn't. It was a botched robbery.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  They didn't get anything.

• 49:21Speaker 05

  My ring stayed intact. No issues with it.

• 49:25Dax Shepard?

  It doesn't give you PTSD when you see it on her fingers?

• 49:28Speaker 05

  No, everybody makes a joke. It's like a blood diamond.

• 49:32Speaker 05

  I would actually get mad if she wasn't wearing it because it was like, do you know what I had to go through?

• 49:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, true. Did they give it to you for free? They should have at least done that.

• 49:40Speaker 05

  So at first they weren't, but I think it's because they didn't know the extent of what happened. And then everything as it came out, they were like, we got it.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's nice.

• 49:51Dax Shepard?

  That feels like a minimal gesture when their employee came out of fire.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  And hopefully Marie Callender's got you a couple of free meals.

• 49:56Dax Shepard?

  Oh, that cheese soup they make is delicious.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  That Marie Callender's isn't even there anymore.

• 50:00Dax Shepard?

  Oh, well, yeah, there's shootouts across the way. I would have shuttered it as well.

• 50:05Speaker 05

  We were married five years ago and then we added another child as well. So, so there is a happy ending to this.

• 50:11Dax Shepard?

  Okay, good.

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Love that.

• 50:13Dax Shepard?

  Just meeting you, you don't deserve to go through this. Like, this should happen to me because I'm always sticking my nose into things.

• 50:19Speaker 05

  I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I'm good now because it's six years removed. But that first year, you look in the mirror every day and it's just right there. And the scar kind of used to be gross because it would keloid. It's way better now.

• 50:34Dax Shepard?

  And then nightmares? Any nightmares?

• 50:36Speaker 05

  Not really nightmares, but I would be like overcome with emotions sometimes. I remember one time we were just eating dinner and I just start bawling. I actually work on the same street about a mile away from where it happened. And so for the first four and a half years that I drove to work, I would take a different location so that I didn't have to drive past it.

• 50:58Dax Shepard?

  Yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 05

  At the time because I obviously had to go to therapy for it.

• 51:00Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, you're the first person we've talked to who's been shot.

• 51:04Speaker 01

  I wasn't expecting it in a proposal story. I'll tell you that.

• 51:07Dax Shepard?

  No, yeah, it's a real left turn.

• 51:09Speaker 05

  I'll give a shout out to my Wife, she definitely wants to come in.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:13Dax Shepard?

  Please, yeah, bring her in. Hi.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  I wanna see the blood diamond.

• 51:16Dax Shepard?

  Oh, the blood diamond, yes.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 51:21Speaker 05

  So, yeah, she was the biggest armchair fan. Everything that she brought up, she'd be like, oh, I heard this on Armchair. And then she finally made me listen when we go on our road trips. And she would play the fart Armchair Anonymous. That one's hilarious. And then she was like, if a proposal prompt ever comes up, you have to tell it. And so it came up and I didn't know, but I was just like, I'm gonna say this and let's see.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 51:45Dax Shepard?

  Well, it's a slam dunk.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  That's hard to beat.

• 51:46Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, yeah, very hard to beat.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Well, you guys are so cute.

• 51:50Dax Shepard?

  Yeah, we're delighted that you listen. Thanks for indoctrinating your husband to us.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm spreading the word. Can I just quickly shout out my best friend in Germany? She just had a baby and she's a big armcherry, so I wanted to shout Jordan out.

• 52:03Dax Shepard?

  Jordan.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  Shout out, Jordan.

• 52:05Dax Shepard?

  Shout out.

• 52:05Speaker 01

  Congratulations on the baby.

• 52:07Dax Shepard?

  All right, well, lovely meeting you guys.

• 52:09Speaker 03

  Lovely meeting you.

• 52:09Speaker 05

  Thanks so much, guys. This is awesome.

• 52:11Dax Shepard?

  Take care.

• 52:12Speaker 05

  All righty, bye bye.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  That ran the gambit, didn't it?

• 52:16Dax Shepard?

  It certainly did. Almost every kind of story was within proposal. You don't know what you're gonna get.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  You don't know.

• 52:23Dax Shepard?

  It makes me think you could throw out any prompt, like, tell us a story about Tupperware. And then it would be like a skydiving disaster story.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  It's true. You just don't know. Do you wanna tell your proposal story before we go? I bet people would wanna hear that.

• 52:33Dax Shepard?

  Okay, similar to all these stories, it's funny how us guys, we go get a ring and then we're gonna try to plan some time. So you have this thing for a while and I had the great luxury of having Nicole in my life. So I took Nicole to the ring store and I said, I wanna say first which one, but I wanna then know what one you think she'll like. And she said, there's two I think she would love. And I said, okay, great, don't say. And then I said, I like that one. And she got really excited and she said, that was my favorite of the two.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Oh, great.

• 53:01Dax Shepard?

  So that was lovely. I get the ring, I've told the story, I was about to give my credit card. What is this weird feeling? I have a very familiar feeling, it's a weird feeling, specific, specific. Oh, it's the moment you tell the tattoo artist after you look at the transfer, yes, I'll take it. And you go, okay, this is for life. So, cut to, it's in my pocket of one of my jackets in my closet and my plan was to go. Go to this restaurant. We had gone to early on. The first place I said, I love you.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  Which was?

• 53:27Dax Shepard?

  Stanley's. It was her restaurant. And so I was going to say, let's go to Stanley's, which would have already been suspicious, but maybe it'll have been a gesture. So that was going to happen. I guess I had thought sometime in January and it was Christmas Eve and my mom had flown in and we had both just got back from Michigan and we had this really, really wonderful Christmas Eve. And then we were laying in bed and I thought, oh, I'm gonna try to recreate all this lovely feeling I'm having right now at this restaurant in three weeks instead of just taking this moment that I feel like it should be. I was naked. I walked to the closet.

• 54:08Dax Shepard?

  I got the ring out of my jacket. She's like, why is he going to the closet? Then I came back to the bed and I kneeled down on one knee naked. And then she started hysterically crying and I asked and she said, yes, but she had cried so loud and long that the next morning getting coffee, when I saw my mom in the kitchen, she said, oh, sweetie, what happened? Did you guys have a terrible fight? I heard Kristen crying last night. It was Christmas morning. She thinks we got into a real dust up last night.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Funny. That's very sweet.

• 54:41Dax Shepard?

  Rob, did you have a ring for a while?

• 54:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was my grandma's ring that I got the diamond reset. I made a website for a fake restaurant. That was like a prefix pop up.

• 54:53Dax Shepard?

  Okay, this is very wob.

• 54:55Speaker 05

  And it was this Airbnb I rented on the lake in Chicago and it had this whole outdoor balcony. And I had a friend that was a chef came and cooked a like eight course meal.

• 55:07Dax Shepard?

  Oh, my lord.

• 55:08Speaker 05

  So we got to the Airbnb and he was there cooking and she knew. No, it was by the end of dinner, but we got there and it was just for us and she saw him there.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  Lovely.

• 55:20Dax Shepard?

  Started putting together the pieces. Yeah, she's a breakout. All right. Love you guys.

• 55:27Dax Shepard?

  Do you wanna sing a tune or something? We wanna have a theme song. Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of armed cherries, we'll get some suggestions. On the fly, a rhyme dish. On the fly, a rhyme dish. Enjoy.