Giggling about lavender marriages, skincare inventions, and St. Anthony

Paige is tight with St. Anthony and Hannah is addressing her lasagna controversy. get tickets to live shows sign up for our newsletter pre-order our book

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Paige DeSorbo?

  This season, celebrate with the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all. Because the best gifts don't just look beautiful, they mean something too. When someone gives you a gift and you just know they really know you, there's no describing that feeling and it's one of the best feelings ever. From engraveable pieces to festive charms to lab-grown diamonds, Pandora's jewelry is made for the ones who really inspire you and the ones that you really know. Give them a piece that says exactly what words can't. Pandora, more than a gift. Shop new styles in-store or online at pandora.net. This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink now for $8 for a limited time only.

• 0:42Paige DeSorbo?

  You know I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's and for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery.

• 1:25Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Affogato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o'clock. Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Affogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat-yourself moment in the middle of the day and this is a classic Hershey's Milk Chocolate layered with a Salted Caramel or Affogato Creme filling.

• 2:07Paige DeSorbo?

  So it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate. Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel or Affogato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite.

• 2:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Sup, Gigglers?

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.

• 2:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Manifest that shit.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  We can't be managed.

• 2:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, the day just got away from me.

• 2:35Hannah Berner?

  Hello, my galactic gigglers. This week is gonna be out of this world. Sorry, that was so millennial. Grace is so mad right now.

• 2:41Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, Grace is like, I've been spending too much time with Grace because everything, I'm like, ew, so millennial. And I love being a millennial.

• 2:49Hannah Berner?

  The call is coming from inside the house.

• 2:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, I think it's just me being super self-aware. I'm like, can't do that. That's millennial.

• 2:56Hannah Berner?

  Yes. See, I identify as Gen Z, so I'm allowed to call people out as millennial. But also, I love my little millennials. Like, we've been through so much together.

• 3:06Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we've had a rough go of it.

• 3:09Hannah Berner?

  No, like 9/11 was like so...

• 3:11Paige DeSorbo?

  You actually wrote something on the notes that's so millennial. I couldn't even believe you wrote it.

• 3:16Hannah Berner?

  What did I write?

• 3:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Aiden or Big? That's like the most millennial thing I've ever seen. I was like, there's no way she's just jumping into conversation now.

• 3:27Hannah Berner?

  By the way, 10 minutes ago, I go up to Paige and I go, "Have you tried this Charlotte Tilbury blush stick thing? It's so good." And she's like, "Yeah, we've known about it for four fucking years. Where the fuck have you been?" And I was like, "Okay, I was just recommending a product."

• 3:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that hype, it is good. Charlotte Tilbury is great.

• 3:44Hannah Berner?

  It's good and it's like fun to put on. Um, no, I was talking to someone and they said something like, "Well, yeah, Big is so hot." And I go, "Hot take, I wasn't into him." Yeah, like he seemed busy, which I guess is hot. And he had a driver. Where were you driving all the time?

• 4:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I love that he had a driver. That gave rich.

• 4:04Hannah Berner?

  It gave rich. I don't, but I liked Aiden.

• 4:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's, you would. Here's the thing. When I first watched it, like in high school, like Ron is probably like 8th grade into like high school. I was big. I was like, obviously it's big. Then when I was like in college in my twenties, I'm like, she should have picked Aiden. Now that my frontal lobe is fully formed, I'm back to Big. Because like, yeah, she could have picked Aiden, but she would have thought about Big every single day of her life.

• 4:37Hannah Berner?

  True for her. Yes, Big. Clearly she hated Aiden. Like, she literally, she could have, she left him for dead.

• 4:45Paige DeSorbo?

  She literally couldn't stomach him when he was fat. And so that says it all.

• 4:51Hannah Berner?

  Also hot take, neither. Like literally, there's more men in New York City. Why are we having to pick from two?

• 4:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 4:57Hannah Berner?

  That's what I always tell my friends when they're in a pickle. I said, there's more men in New York City.

• 5:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I just watched the Chris DiStefano stand up on Hulu.

• 5:04Hannah Berner?

  I have to watch it.

• 5:04Paige DeSorbo?

  You have to watch it because he has this joke about how like, once you have kids, like all your other friends who don't have kids, their problems are so irrelevant. And he has this joke where he was like, I was talking to this one girl and she was like, couldn't decide if she should break up with her boyfriend or not. And I asked her, do you have kids with him? And she said, no. And he was like, kill him.

• 5:23Hannah Berner?

  You're single.

• 5:24Paige DeSorbo?

  What are we talking about? Like, just kill him. Like, and it's so true. Like, if you really sit back and think, like, you don't, you, your problems could be so much more complicated. Like, we overcomplicate them. If you aren't married, you weren't engaged, you don't have kids, light them on fire. Like, I don't, who cares?

• 5:43Hannah Berner?

  Shout out to Chris DiStefano, who almost got me in trouble because he filmed us at the Knicks game. And I gave him the middle finger. And then he posted it and it looked like I was giving the middle finger to like a giggler, like a random giggler who was filming me. I said, no, that was a comedian man who deserved it. And it's his love language. And then he, he's like, he loves Giggly Squad.

• 6:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Who doesn't?

• 6:03Hannah Berner?

  Who doesn't? And then Chris was like, oh, me and my co-host are going to be the giggly guys. And I was like, don't make me get legal involved.

• 6:08Paige DeSorbo?

  No, literally, don't make me call my lawyer.

• 6:10Hannah Berner?

  Because we actually don't know how to do a legal battle, but Steven Smolklam's court.

• 6:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Steven's court.

• 6:15Hannah Berner?

  We were so excited to announce the Vanity Fair thing purely because we knew the gigglers would be pumped the fuck up.

• 6:22Paige DeSorbo?

  We manifested that. We said, where are the girls in the gays on the red carpet? And Vanity Fair said, hello.

• 6:28Hannah Berner?

  Um, so we have to leave.

• 6:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I leave tomorrow.

• 6:32Hannah Berner?

  You leave tomorrow. I leave Wednesday for, this is my question. I got a spray tan a week ago.

• 6:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay.

• 6:38Hannah Berner?

  Can I get a spray tan again, even though this spray tan is not fully gone?

• 6:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, you just have to exfoliate it off. Oh no.

• 6:47Hannah Berner?

  That sounds so intense.

• 6:50Paige DeSorbo?

  It's not as intense as you think it is.

• 6:52Hannah Berner?

  How do you know when it's off? Like, my apartment's pretty dark.

• 6:54Paige DeSorbo?

  You just go by vibes.

• 6:56Hannah Berner?

  When you feel, you know, not to be sovereign, but when you get a little scared, you know it's the right.

• 7:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Just get in the shower the

• 7:07Paige DeSorbo?

  the night before you're gonna get your spray tan.

• 7:08Hannah Berner?

  I don't have a loofah. What are we exfoliating with?

• 7:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Get like an exfoliating mitt and some like, like Osea has a really good exfoliator.

• 7:16Hannah Berner?

  Yes, they do.

• 7:17Paige DeSorbo?

  That's the one I use. So get that shower.

• 7:20Hannah Berner?

  You have so many beauty accessories.

• 7:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh my god.

• 7:22Hannah Berner?

  It's insane.

• 7:23Paige DeSorbo?

  It's insane.

• 7:24Hannah Berner?

  But no, we're excited about Vanity Fair. We've never been on a red carpet interviewing people together.

• 7:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Never.

• 7:30Hannah Berner?

  So.

• 7:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't like.

• 7:33Hannah Berner?

  Tell your truth.

• 7:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Tell me, tell my truth. I don't know if Vanity Fair is really ready. Like, I think they need their legal team on standby. Definitely someone accompanying us on the carpet of like, please don't say that. Um, because it's gonna be silly.

• 7:50Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say shout out to interviewers who do all these award shows because you have to know everything about everyone, every movie they've done.

• 7:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 7:56Hannah Berner?

  Any reference, what they're wearing.

• 7:58Paige DeSorbo?

  And I did ask that in the meeting. I said, no, if I forget a thing or two, and.

• 8:02Hannah Berner?

  But it's an after-party, so they said that everyone's like, this is the last award show, they're just partying.

• 8:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 8:07Hannah Berner?

  And it's kind of like.

• 8:08Paige DeSorbo?

  So we're just there for literal vibes.

• 8:11Hannah Berner?

  Like only bringing a certain energy to the function, which we don't know what energy it's gonna be yet.

• 8:15Paige DeSorbo?

  It's certainly not knowledge. I don't know if that's the energy we're bringing.

• 8:20Hannah Berner?

  They're like, hey, can you guys stop giggling and ask literally one question?

• 8:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, one question that's important.

• 8:24Hannah Berner?

  I'm excited. I have no idea what I'm gonna wear yet.

• 8:26Paige DeSorbo?

  I, me neither, which is crazy town, USA. I, I, I, I've never waited till the last minute for something more important in my life.

• 8:35Hannah Berner?

  Well, we've never, you've done a gown before, like you did the Caroline Herrera.

• 8:40Paige DeSorbo?

  I did Oscar de la Renta.

• 8:41Hannah Berner?

  Oscar de, Oscar? Oscar?

• 8:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Oscar.

• 8:44Hannah Berner?

  Oscar? Um, I watched the SAG Awards to like, get us going last night.

• 8:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Get in the mindset.

• 8:49Hannah Berner?

  Live on Netflix. It was really good.

• 8:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, let's talk about Timothy Chalamet's, uh, speech. Did you see that?

• 8:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I have like thoughts.

• 8:57Paige DeSorbo?

  I've, I've. I felt it in my bones that you were gonna have thoughts and hot takes.

• 9:03Hannah Berner?

  Do you wanna do yours?

• 9:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, the only hot take I really had was.

• 9:12Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought it was like a fine speech. If a woman made that speech, there'd be a very different news day today. It was the only thing I could really think.

• 9:20Hannah Berner?

  Let me preface this by saying, I'm a huge Timothy Chalamet.

• 9:24Paige DeSorbo?

  We're huge.

• 9:24Hannah Berner?

  We love Timothy Chalamet.

• 9:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:27Hannah Berner?

  Also, he's so New York. And as a New Yorker, like, I love him. Like, when he, they said he won, he was like, ooh, yeah.

• 9:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. And I'm a, I'm a huge him and Kylie fan.

• 9:35Hannah Berner?

  Him and Kylie. We support.

• 9:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:37Hannah Berner?

  I think he's been on this, like, insane press tour and he's run out of things to say. Cause he's actually, like, really good in press.

• 9:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 9:44Hannah Berner?

  I think he also was a little off. Did you notice when he had to do his, like, announcement? He messed it up and he goes, should have made it to rehearsal. Like, maybe he was having a day.

• 9:52Paige DeSorbo?

  He's gotta be tired.

• 9:53Hannah Berner?

  He's, he's, I mean, the Wicked Girls are holding on by a thread at this point.

• 9:57Paige DeSorbo?

  A literal thread.

• 10:00Hannah Berner?

  I mean, it's, it's, they're Judy Garland-ing themselves.

• 10:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it's too much.

• 10:04Hannah Berner?

  It's like us on tour, we get it.

• 10:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:06Hannah Berner?

  So.

• 10:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never felt more aligned with the Wicked cast than I do right now.

• 10:13Hannah Berner?

  And we don't even have to hit any notes.

• 10:16Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no.

• 10:16Hannah Berner?

  We're not being chucked into the sky. So Timothy, honestly, I loved how he started it. He was like, let me just say, some people make it look effortless. It's not effortless, at least for me. I worked five years on this role. And then he stops and he goes, I just want to say, I'm here to be the greatest of all time.

• 10:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:33Hannah Berner?

  It was giving rapper.

• 10:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 10:34Hannah Berner?

  But like, when a rapper says it, you're like, yeah, respect.

• 10:36Paige DeSorbo?

  He's the best player in the game.

• 10:38Hannah Berner?

  He was like, yeah, I'm MVP. I'm here to be the best of all time. I'm not there yet. This is a step. I want to be Viola Davis, Marlon Brando. I want to be the best. And he walks out.

• 10:49Paige DeSorbo?

  And he chucks his mic at the crowd.

• 10:51Hannah Berner?

  Fuck all you untalented fucks, I'm better than all of you. But I do have to say with Timothy, I wish he had worded it like, I, um, I'm, I'm so grateful for this award and I'm, this is so motivational for me to be the best I can be. And I'm, I'm so excited to keep working the hardest I can.

• 11:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 11:08Hannah Berner?

  To be as great as I can be and fulfill my, like, whatever. And just be like, thank you guys so much. Like, there's a little bit, you gotta have a little respect for the crowd. Like, you're in front of Harrison Ford.

• 11:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Well, men can be a little cockier than women can be in, like, an overall setting. Like, men can be an asshole and it be fine. Women can't be a bitch and it be fine.

• 11:30Hannah Berner?

  This happened to me at Starbucks. I was waiting for my Starbucks, as one does. And this guy next to me is watching the woman make it. And he goes, less foam.

• 11:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Uh-oh. Oh, never.

• 11:42Hannah Berner?

  But no one reacted. Like, he was just like, hey, less foam. No one reacted. And like, I just thought if a woman had said, less foam, she would have been arrested.

• 11:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Arrest. I would watch the Starbucks barista spit in my coffee. And it's not even. Hand it to me and I would say, thank you so much.

• 11:58Hannah Berner?

  We've all been there where I'm like, the color and shade of that macchiato is gonna ruin my day. But that's when you just say, thank you, and you move on.

• 12:04Paige DeSorbo?

  You move along.

• 12:05Hannah Berner?

  You take the L.

• 12:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 12:06Hannah Berner?

  But it's like, if he just added a please.

• 12:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:08Hannah Berner?

  Or excuse me, can you add more foam? Thank you so much.

• 12:11Paige DeSorbo?

  So sorry, yeah.

• 12:12Hannah Berner?

  He literally just goes, more foam, please. No, no, please. More foam.

• 12:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:16Hannah Berner?

  Less foam.

• 12:17Paige DeSorbo?

  No, if that was a girl.

• 12:18Hannah Berner?

  And I looked over, like.

• 12:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Who was making the coffee, girl or a guy?

• 12:21Hannah Berner?

  A girl, of course. And she just kinda like nodded.

• 12:24Paige DeSorbo?

  She's probably used to it.

• 12:25Hannah Berner?

  And he didn't even say, thank you, when he got it.

• 12:26Paige DeSorbo?

  How old was he?

• 12:28Hannah Berner?

  What he, it was just a middle-aged white dude.

• 12:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like thirties, forties.

• 12:31Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. So this is my thing with Timothy. Then I thought about it again, because I was upset. He's manifesting.

• 12:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 12:38Hannah Berner?

  Like, I know some comedians will write, like, like, on their promotion, they'll be like, your favorite comedian, or that kind of thing, because people start thinking, oh, that's my favorite comedian. So it's like, you say it to people, and then people start believing it. So him, he literally was manifesting by saying, I want to be the greatest of all time. I just don't say that to your therapist.

• 12:58Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. I'm not as mad at it. The only, really, the only thought I had was like, he can say that. He can say that, like, other people wouldn't, it wouldn't have been as well received. Like, if Nikki Glaser got up after hosting and being, and said, I want to be the best host of all time for all of the award shows, people would be like, okay, you did one and you did good, chill out.

• 13:22Hannah Berner?

  Or, like, yeah, keep it in your brain.

• 13:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:24Hannah Berner?

  There was, there was no need for it.

• 13:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:26Hannah Berner?

  It does remind me, though, which I, one of my favorite speeches of all time was Snoop Dogg, when he goes, I want to thank me.

• 13:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:33Hannah Berner?

  For getting me there.

• 13:34Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 13:34Hannah Berner?

  We're like, no girl could ever do that.

• 13:36Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we could never.

• 13:37Hannah Berner?

  There was one tennis girl that was like, I want to thank me, and it was like, really cute, but everyone was like, okay, calm down.

• 13:42Paige DeSorbo?

  No, not to bring it back to me. But like going through a breakup, like half my comments are like you got where you are because of a man, which is like the craziest thing ever, but like you can't credit yourself.

• 13:55Hannah Berner?

  This is my thing. Well, as a tennis player, I was always coached and did I always do it? No, but I was told, speak with your racket. There's a lot of trash talk. There's a lot of saying, I'm better than you. You deserve this, whatever. Speak with your racket. And for him, it's like speak with your talent, which he has. He's also, he's, oh, I love him. Like he's the most humble, funny, cute guy. I think he just was feeling himself that moment. It's just in front of all the most talented other actors.

• 14:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Like I'm coming to be better than all of you.

• 14:24Hannah Berner?

  It felt like he was like, I'm gonna be better than all of you. Just watch me. And it was very rap video.

• 14:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it was.

• 14:29Hannah Berner?

  Which, you know what? New York, your shit out. Um, but let's, let's keep an eye on him.

• 14:35Paige DeSorbo?

  That's, yeah.

• 14:36Hannah Berner?

  That's what I'll say about that. Side note.

• 14:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Maybe he'll come to us at Vanity Fair.

• 14:41Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck.

• 14:43Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know.

• 14:43Hannah Berner?

  He's gonna look at me and be like, you're the worst interviewer of all time.

• 14:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, we support the movie.

• 14:50Hannah Berner?

  I just think it was unnecessary because I actually think he can be one of the greatest of all time.

• 14:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, that was the thing too. I was like, no, you are on your road to the greatest of all time. You are amazing.

• 15:00Hannah Berner?

  Okay, yeah. Side note, just some tea. Fringe dresser comes up and I'm like, I miss her. What is going on with her? Cause she's the president of SAG, which is a really, you know, tough job. I Googled it. First thing I see is, you know, her high school boyfriend, boyfriend she married for like 20 years and he came out as gay? If you see the photos, you're like, well.

• 15:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I didn't.

• 15:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Open your eyes, Fran. If I had a nickel.

• 15:29Hannah Berner?

  So, and they're like best friends as obviously.

• 15:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, well, they're not still married.

• 15:35Hannah Berner?

  No, but they were together for 20 years and then he came out as gay.

• 15:38Paige DeSorbo?

  But she's remarried, right?

• 15:39Hannah Berner?

  Yes, I believe so. But she found out because like a tabloid was like exposing him.

• 15:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, that's fucked up. One, that a tabloid exposed him. But two, I don't see it as a loss.

• 15:53Hannah Berner?

  Not at all.

• 15:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, it's like you lived twenty years with your best friend.

• 15:56Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. Do you know what they call on, the Gen Z's are calling it?

• 15:59Paige DeSorbo?

  What?

• 15:59Hannah Berner?

  Grace, correct me if I'm wrong, a violet relationship?

• 16:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Lavender. Um, periwinkle?

• 16:07Hannah Berner?

  I was so close. A lavender relationship, which is kind of fucked up because people see couples online instead of, because I guess it's not socially acceptable to be like, gay. They just write lavender relationship.

• 16:18Paige DeSorbo?

  I mean, if I had a nickel, if I had a literal nickel for all the gay men I've dated.

• 16:23Hannah Berner?

  I'm only attracted to like very toxic straight men.

• 16:27Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Hannah Berner?

  I feel like life would have been easier.

• 16:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm obsessed with a toxic gay.

• 16:33Hannah Berner?

  Some girls always end up with like gay guys.

• 16:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 16:36Hannah Berner?

  Which is like, I'd love to know the science behind it. Is it like, is there dad gay?

• 16:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I'd also love to know the science behind it.

• 16:43Hannah Berner?

  Or there's some girls who like a tinge of gay.

• 16:46Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, deep down, I know you don't like, you don't even like women, so I know you don't like me. You're the ultimate challenge.

• 16:53Hannah Berner?

  I do have to say, when I see a hot gay, I'm so turned on because I'm like, you hate me. And that is-

• 16:57Paige DeSorbo?

  You loathe how I was born.

• 16:59Hannah Berner?

  That is my biggest fucking turn on. Also, I think it's my own insecurities because I'm like the gayest straight girl ever.

• 17:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:06Hannah Berner?

  I want a man to make me feel like a little dainty girly flower without having to change myself.

• 17:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:12Hannah Berner?

  So that's why I've dated like gorillas.

• 17:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 17:15Hannah Berner?

  But then for you, I think you're so girly that you can handle a more girly man and you still are girlier than him.

• 17:22Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I feel the same.

• 17:23Hannah Berner?

  See, if I'm with a girly man, I'm like, what's up, bro?

• 17:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I feel like, no, my new vibe is like ultra, ultra masculine.

• 17:32Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 17:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I need it.

• 17:33Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 17:33Paige DeSorbo?

  That's what I'm looking for.

• 17:35Hannah Berner?

  Are you putting feminine energy out there?

• 17:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I think I'm very much in my feminine energy right now.

• 17:40Hannah Berner?

  On the right side of the bed?

• 17:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I sleep on the right side of the bed.

• 17:43Hannah Berner?

  Okay, then you should be good.

• 17:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Everything points to, I'm gonna be okay, but who truly ever knows? Actually, one of the girliest things that I wrote down was, I had a pimple last week that literally ruined my social life.

• 17:58Paige DeSorbo?

  And it was like so traumatizing, but I figured out two way, two things that I was like, I can't wait to tell the gigglers. Okay. So I had this really bad pimple. I popped it, but it wasn't going away. I took my Lumify eye drops, put it on my pimple.

• 18:14Hannah Berner?

  Wait, you were doing a full like woman in stem?

• 18:16Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was like, I have concoctions that I've just made up. Put my Lumify eye drops, redness immediately went away. Then I took Neosporin because I had dried it out so badly that the skin around the pimple was like dried and crackling and I just looked a mess. I mean, it was my fault because I attacked it.

• 18:34Hannah Berner?

  You were at the end of the substance.

• 18:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I would truly. Then I put Neosporin on it. Literally gone the next day.

• 18:41Hannah Berner?

  You want to be a dermatologist so bad. Wait, that's, that's incredible.

• 18:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. So I was like, I have to tell the girls. Two like non-skin care products and Lumify is probably going to like email me and be like, please do not. This is not for skincare. They're like, I drank my Lumify.

• 19:00Hannah Berner?

  No, you guys, we're gonna say it again and we shouldn't have to say this. We are not doctors. Also, you were in Miami and you were like going out to dinner with people who were not me.

• 19:10Paige DeSorbo?

  I knew you were gonna bring this up.

• 19:11Hannah Berner?

  Like, I don't mean it in like a negative way. I just want to know, like, how was it?

• 19:14Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, I went to Miami. I got to Miami on Thursday.

• 19:18Hannah Berner?

  Cause dinners can be hard.

• 19:19Paige DeSorbo?

  I went to dinner Thursday night, but low key, then I had to work like a literal 13 hour day on Friday. Did that and I, one of my girlfriends came to Miami with me and I was like, driving back to the hotel after my work day and I was like, Alexa's literally on drugs if she thinks I'm going out with her tonight. That's crazy. I'm getting home, I'm showering, I'm putting my pajamas on. Mind you, I had a 7 a.m. flight Saturday morning. I was like, I can't go out.

• 19:45Hannah Berner?

  But did you have full glam?

• 19:46Paige DeSorbo?

  I had full glam.

• 19:47Hannah Berner?

  Okay, so that factors into it.

• 19:48Paige DeSorbo?

  I walked into the apartment. She said one sentence and I was like, okay, I'll come with you.

• 19:55Paige DeSorbo?

  She's in sales. She's in sales. She really got me. She got me good. Um, went, this was like OG Paige, went out till 3 a.m.

• 20:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Got back to my hotel, slept for one hour, got up, went to the airport. If anyone saw me at the Miami airport on Saturday morning, no, you didn't.

• 20:16Hannah Berner?

  This reminds us back to the OG days when we drive to the Hamptons on like a Thursday and you'd be just in sunglasses like about to puke and I was like, it's, what did you do?

• 20:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, I walked, I walked through the Miami airport with a hat on and sunglasses. Not because I wanted to be cool. My eyes were crossed. I literally couldn't see in front of me.

• 20:37Hannah Berner?

  And you used all your eye drops on your pimp.

• 20:38Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I was like, I have no lumifier because it's literally on my skin. I felt, I was like, I sat there waiting to board and in my head, I was like, Paige, you're almost thirty-three. Why don't you figure it out? But I had so much fun. I literally needed it.

• 20:54Hannah Berner?

  Hot take, I want the Miami airport to be better. Like, because when I go to Miami, I love Miami, the airport, I don't know if it's because they don't pay income tax. I don't know what the science is, but they've left it for dead.

• 21:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Miami airport gives that there is a casino in the vicinity? And there is not.

• 21:14Hannah Berner?

  Miami airport gives everyone retired, and they're in Boca right now, who ran it.

• 21:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It feels like I lost all my money. It feels like.

• 21:22Hannah Berner?

  You can't even walk. Like, there's nowhere to stand.

• 21:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Walk? There's nowhere to eat.

• 21:28Hannah Berner?

  Nowhere to eat.

• 21:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm sorry, I'm not getting a tuna fish sandwich from Subway at seven AM in the Miami airport.

• 21:34Hannah Berner?

  I bought three of those little things of olives, which was a bad choice, but I panicked. And I was like shoving olives in my mouth for a snack. So, yeah, like, and we've traveled to a lot of horrific airports. Miami, you could do better.

• 21:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Miami can do way better.

• 21:50Hannah Berner?

  And I know we're like cocky because we have fancy LaGuardia and Newark, which took years of our lives.

• 21:57Paige DeSorbo?

  We're New York City, as we should have the greatest airports. Because you fly from New York to every, you can fly from New York to anywhere because it's the best city on the planet.

• 22:07Hannah Berner?

  We take it for granted.

• 22:08Paige DeSorbo?

  We take it for granted.

• 22:09Hannah Berner?

  Like, I'll be somewhere and I have to fly somewhere else and they were like, you can't. And I'm like, it's a plane. No, wait.

• 22:16Paige DeSorbo?

  I didn't realize that until I spent so much time in the South. I was like, oh, and I'll just get a flight to here. And they're like, no, you can't. I'm like, what?

• 22:24Hannah Berner?

  That's why we drive five hours to places because there's no direct flights.

• 22:27Paige DeSorbo?

  No, and I'm not stopping.

• 22:29Hannah Berner?

  No. One thing about me.

• 22:31Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not stopping.

• 22:32Hannah Berner?

  I'm not doing a connecting flight.

• 22:33Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 22:33Hannah Berner?

  I emotionally can't handle it.

• 22:37Paige DeSorbo?

  And but we don't deal with it that much because we live in New York. But yeah.

• 22:41Hannah Berner?

  Even though like planes have been falling out of the sky, I've had this real like, if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen vibe about it. I was on a flight yesterday and these two, talk about karma. This one woman in the front, she's, you're supposed to check your bag. She like gets away with it somehow. And I watch her like get around the guy and she doesn't have to check her bag. Gets there, they're like, ma'am, you got to check your bag. And then the bathroom starts to flood and she's in the first row and the rug that like you're on is like literally like getting wet. And I'm sitting there just watching this and she's like losing her mind. And I was like, that's what happens.

• 23:18Paige DeSorbo?

  When you don't check your bag.

• 23:19Hannah Berner?

  When you don't check your bag.

• 23:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing, I'm listening to what the airport people tell me to do because I don't work here. Like, who am I to decide?

• 23:28Hannah Berner?

  Can I say one more thing about male pilots?

• 23:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Yeah, I can't get off a plane anymore. I've literally like now every time I get off a plane, I think they've listened to Giggly Squad. They know I am Giggly Squad. So when they say, thank you. Have a nice day. I'm like, I feel like you put a little extra on that one for me.

• 23:45Hannah Berner?

  So I know, why do they feed you like you're in Little League? I do not need pretzels and a cheese steak. Like, give me hummus. Give me like popcorn. Like, give me something nice. I don't know.

• 23:59Paige DeSorbo?

  We love the marketing girlies at any company. Like, the marketing girls run the country. Like.

• 24:05Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, they really do.

• 24:06Paige DeSorbo?

  What is commerce, marketing? I don't know what it is, but it's, it's the girls our age. What's going on with the disconnect from airlines, their food and brands?

• 24:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Because like, why there hasn't been a Chipotle collab on the fucking airplane? Like, I don't get that. Where are we missing?

• 24:28Hannah Berner?

  Apparently there was a Shake Shack one, and people were like complaining, like, I don't want my airplane to smell like a cheeseburger. And I said, I will pay money.

• 24:35Paige DeSorbo?

  For my airplane to smell like a cheeseburger? And it was like a limited time, limited flights. No, no, I wanna get on an airplane and feel like, oh shit, this is gonna be so fun, cuz I can literally order whatever from like, it, it just, they need to step that up a notch.

• 24:50Hannah Berner?

  Also, like, I'm not asking for much, like, what about a Pop-Tart? Just like a smores Pop-Tart.

• 24:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, I'm not asking for the craziest things.

• 24:58Hannah Berner?

  Mustard pretzels at 7 a.m.

• 25:00Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 25:01Hannah Berner?

  Or they're like, they're either like too healthy or too unhealthy, do you know what I mean?

• 25:04Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't need a quinoa with a tarragon sauce.

• 25:06Hannah Berner?

  It's a literal brick.

• 25:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Get the fuck outta here.

• 25:08Hannah Berner?

  It's literally that, or it's like the saltiest 500 calorie two pretzels you've ever seen. Anyway, I'm not, I'm not happy about it. So anyway, that's why, oh, I have one more note.

• 25:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:22Hannah Berner?

  If you're a pilot, don't practice your material on me on the plane. When it's 8 a.m. and these guys start trying their one-liners, start your own podcast or crash the plane. I don't wanna be a part of this. Like, it's 8 a.m. and I wanna be asleep and not worry about things. And sometimes they're really, the only people that could be funny are actually the stewardess.

• 25:48Hannah Berner?

  Cuz they're these like pissed off women or gays, they can be funny.

• 25:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Absolutely.

• 25:54Hannah Berner?

  One more question.

• 25:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:55Hannah Berner?

  I have a lot of thoughts.

• 25:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 25:57Hannah Berner?

  I'm like immersed in tipping culture right now.

• 26:00Paige DeSorbo?

  Um, I know what you're gonna say. Have you ever tipped a stewardess?

• 26:03Hannah Berner?

  I'm like, we literally have to tip

• 26:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:05Hannah Berner?

  an iPad. But no one ever tips a stewardess when they're literally like waking people up, which they shouldn't, that should be illegal. But like, they're, talk about one-on-one.

• 26:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep. My flight to Italy, I tipped my stewardess.

• 26:19Hannah Berner?

  What did, did she like go down on you?

• 26:22Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I just, I think if you're doing like an overnight eight hour, you've, you've fed me two meals. I'm gonna throw you a twenty.

• 26:29Hannah Berner?

  Wait, now I'm upset. Do they stand there when you're walking off because they want to be tipped? I've never seen a tip.

• 26:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 26:36Hannah Berner?

  But then sometimes I wonder, am I insulting someone if I give them a five dollar bill?

• 26:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 26:41Hannah Berner?

  Like that's a, like.

• 26:42Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're tipping, you're throwing a twenty. I think for anything.

• 26:45Hannah Berner?

  Also, who has cash?

• 26:47Paige DeSorbo?

  If you have the question, my dad. If you have a question in your head, should I tip this person? And I don't know like how mu- I always, it should just be a twenty dollar bill, I think.

• 26:57Hannah Berner?

  So I had this guy driving me around for my Alabama shows who I loved. I'm obsessed with this man.

• 27:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:01Hannah Berner?

  And at the end I was like, I don't have any cash. Can I Venmo you?

• 27:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:05Hannah Berner?

  And then he's like, I don't have Venmo. And I was like, no problem. I'll Zelle you. And I get out the car, try to Zelle him. Doesn't work.

• 27:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yep.

• 27:11Hannah Berner?

  Text him, hey, how can I pay you? Cash app. I tried downloading Cash App.

• 27:16Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a whole thing.

• 27:16Hannah Berner?

  A whole thing. You have to put your card in.

• 27:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, actually, this weekend in Miami, all like the bellmen, like I'm like bringing my bags up and stuff. I'm like, I have no cash. Can I Venmo you? Everyone takes Venmo now, like in a tipping set.

• 27:28Hannah Berner?

  It's good, but it's so much more intimate to have to Venmo, like it, with cash is, there was such a beauty.

• 27:34Paige DeSorbo?

  It's like, I don't, now I have your phone number?

• 27:37Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 27:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Like, did I need it?

• 27:38Hannah Berner?

  I don't want to see that you Venmo'd your friend for a Long Island iced tea last week.

• 27:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 27:42Hannah Berner?

  And now I have to be friends with you forever.

• 27:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Venmo can be invasive.

• 27:45Hannah Berner?

  But it is good if you're bored.

• 27:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Like when random people friend you on Venmo, I'm like, this is like, it's inappropriate.

• 27:52Hannah Berner?

  It's inappropriate, but if you're dating a new guy, find his Venmo and just, you'll learn more about him than if you're just like scrolling his Instagram for sure.

• 28:01Paige DeSorbo?

  This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. The Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Fries and a Drink, now for eight dollars for a limited time only. You know, I love getting McDonald's after a Giggly Squad live show and we're going on tour again, which means my QPC order is about to be amazing. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

• 28:18Paige DeSorbo?

  The Quarter Pounder with Cheese uses 100% fresh beef cooked right when you order. No artificial flavors, colors, fillers, or preservatives. It's hand-topped with onions and two slices of cheese arranged in a star for that cheesy goodness in every bite. And lastly, perfectly placed pickles side by side. I absolutely love McDonald's. And for a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii, offer not valid for delivery.

• 28:52Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 28:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine, and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.

• 29:08Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 29:09Paige DeSorbo?

  It's honey.

• 29:10Hannah Berner?

  Honey, and mine's black.

• 29:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a gloss on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 29:22Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit.

• 29:25Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the outfit.

• 29:26Hannah Berner?

  Not ruining the outfit. But also, I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 29:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 29:37Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 29:39Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 29:39Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the gigglers a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like, you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 29:46Paige DeSorbo?

  Which is very important, because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat. And it's like, no. And I love that it has these things for your hands, because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 30:00Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 30:10Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you.

• 30:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I love a sweet treat. I'm always looking for a sweet treat and I certainly can't eat something without having a sweet treat. Kachava's new Salted Caramel flavor is one of my favorite flavors that they even make. It's salty, it's sweet, what is better together? Also, I feel like Kitty knows that around 4 o'clock, I need a sweet treat and I'm always craving something salty and sweet. And if that wasn't good enough, Kachava is all the nutrition your body craves in one delicious, simple shake. Just two scoops provide complete nutrition to your body with protein, fiber, greens, and so much more. Kachava provides no fillers, no nonsense, all clean nutrition. No artificial flavors, colors, sweeteners, preservatives, and they have the best flavors:

• 30:57Paige DeSorbo?

  matcha, coconut acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate mint, cinnamon French toast, and of course, Salted Caramel. Embrace your salty side, go to kachava.com and use code GIGGLY for 15% off your first order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A dot com with code GIGGLY. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Do you ever think about a situation in which you could permanently delete it from your brain? It could be an awkward interaction with a coworker from years ago. I keep replaying this irrational worry, I'll get stuck in an elevator forever. I think these kinds of thoughts get trapped in a loop in your mind and it's hard to get rid of them sometimes. That's why BetterHelp therapists can help you clear your thoughts that are taking up way too much of your mental space.

• 31:42Paige DeSorbo?

  And with insurance, many members pay $15 or less, some pay $0. BetterHelp therapists are fully licensed in the US with at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience. When it comes to matching with a therapist, BetterHelp does the initial work for you. Just take a short questionnaire to help identify your needs, and if you're not happy with your match, which sometimes happens, switch to a different therapist at any time from BetterHelp's tailored recommendations. BetterHelp is now in-network with more than 125 health plans, with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month.

• 32:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/gigglesquad. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash gigglesquad.

• 32:33Hannah Berner?

  Chris, what are you up to on Venmo?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  You want to check?

• 32:36Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 32:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, let's see what your latest emojis were.

• 32:40Paige DeSorbo?

  While you check, I'm gonna do an egg freezing update. Cause that seems appropriate.

• 32:44Hannah Berner?

  Oh my gosh!

• 32:45Speaker 04

  Paying people for editing, going to get a haircut, more drinks.

• 32:49Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, you pay your barber through Venmo?

• 32:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, okay.

• 32:58Hannah Berner?

  He's got a guy. He's got a guy.

• 32:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I love when guys have a guy.

• 33:01Hannah Berner?

  You get weekly?

• 33:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, what are your weekly shape up?

• 33:03Speaker 04

  Things are going alright now, I'm bumping back up to weekly.

• 33:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Weekly. No, I've realized I only wanna date men who have a weekly shape up.

• 33:13Hannah Berner?

  Chris, on your birthday, we're gonna get a guy to come and give you a haircut during the pod, okay?

• 33:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Wait, I love that.

• 33:18Hannah Berner?

  Chris just got so excited.

• 33:20Paige DeSorbo?

  I literally love that.

• 33:21Hannah Berner?

  This is what dreams are made of. How are your eggs doing? Are they scrambled? Are they sunny side up?

• 33:28Paige DeSorbo?

  It's a process. It's like a full process. There were definitely things where I was like, oh, that's like more extensive than I thought. Or, oh, that's way easier than I thought.

• 33:36Hannah Berner?

  Okay.

• 33:37Paige DeSorbo?

  So I went for my appointment. I had to do a blood test. Um, I had to do an ultrasound, did that, everything came back normal. Then I did a Zoom with the doctor where he just like explained more things like in detail. And now I have to go.

• 33:54Hannah Berner?

  Did you listen?

• 33:55Paige DeSorbo?

  I did, I listened.

• 33:56Hannah Berner?

  Did you take notes?

• 33:56Paige DeSorbo?

  I actually asked a couple of questions and he said, "Good question." "Good question." And I said, "Mm, yes." A+. So now I have to go and do, like, just like a quick appointment with the nurse to like teach me how to do the shot. And then once I get my next period, I call them and I say, "Hey, I have my period." And then I go in and I get my shots.

• 34:17Hannah Berner?

  You get more shots.

• 34:19Paige DeSorbo?

  So I get the shots that will be like 10 to 12 days, okay? Then, and you do them while you have your period, then when you're done with the shots, you go in for your egg retrieval, which is only 15 minutes.

• 34:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Which I just had no, you are asleep. Like you're under anesthesia, but like, what they call like local, local anesthesia, I think. So like you're breathing on your own. You're not like incubated.

• 34:44Hannah Berner?

  Wait, so you're, sorry, you're doing your own shots?

• 34:46Paige DeSorbo?

  You do your own shots.

• 34:47Hannah Berner?

  But then when you have your period, they come in?

• 34:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, no. You always do your own shots.

• 34:51Hannah Berner?

  Okay, but you don't have to do it until you have your period?

• 34:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes. So like you, I'm going in for them to teach me how to do it. And then once I get my period and I'm like, I'm ready for them.

• 35:01Hannah Berner?

  So you only do shots for a week?

• 35:02Paige DeSorbo?

  You can do them for like ten to twelve days. It's all individualized.

• 35:07Hannah Berner?

  Got it.

• 35:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Then you like sign this whole consent form and all this whatever. The one thing I just didn't think about until I saw it was there's a question on the consent form that's like, okay, and if anything happens to you, what would you like us to do with your eggs? So the options are like discard them.

• 35:28Hannah Berner?

  Scramble.

• 35:29Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're married, do you want to give them to your spouse? Like, would he make a baby with your eggs? Would you want to donate them?

• 35:39Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I hate these like future questions. I'm like, I literally don't know what I'm gonna have for breakfast tomorrow.

• 35:44Paige DeSorbo?

  How many years you want us to like free, have them for? I just did like the largest one. It was like ten years.

• 35:49Hannah Berner?

  I didn't know you had to pay to like bank them.

• 35:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 35:52Hannah Berner?

  Like they literally take up rent.

• 35:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I know you were paying in like a rent.

• 35:56Hannah Berner?

  Is it more expensive, I wonder, in New York City than like somewhere else? Well, it's probably legal in other places.

• 35:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't know. I don't know if it, I don't know what like the

• 36:03Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 36:03Paige DeSorbo?

  pricing is around the country.

• 36:06Paige DeSorbo?

  But I was like, wait, I don't know. I was like, I literally don't know. And she was like, look, we can always go back, like you can always go back and if you change your mind, like if you do get married and you're like, yeah, if something happens to me, I would want him to have them. Part of me was like, well, I wouldn't want a child walking around and them not having me. Like, that's crazy.

• 36:29Hannah Berner?

  Or be like, why do I have these weird mental demons and my mom can't explain them to me?

• 36:33Paige DeSorbo?

  But also I'm like, if I had a sister

• 36:35Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 36:35Paige DeSorbo?

  and she, and say she couldn't get pregnant, I would want her to have mine.

• 36:39Hannah Berner?

  What if your brother's wife can't get pregnant?

• 36:42Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, that would be incest.

• 36:47Paige DeSorbo?

  My brother's sperm could not make a baby with my egg. That would be so highly illegal.

• 36:53Hannah Berner?

  I literally spent three days in Alabama.

• 36:56Paige DeSorbo?

  You're like, give it to, well, gosh, Sharon Page, give it to your brother. He'll have a baby with it. Like, nope, we're super, super illegal. Um, could not do that. Could not give my brother's wife my eggs.

• 37:10Hannah Berner?

  Well, I was thinking about my friends, my Becca, who's a lesbian. I was like, do you want to use your brother's egg? And put it in sperm? And you guys, I don't understand any of it. No, I understand. I just haven't talked about it. I think it's so good that you're explaining this because we don't know the details unless you like sit down. Also, I feel like our parents' generation, this like wasn't as popular.

• 37:32Paige DeSorbo?

  I love the place I'm doing it. It's called Extended Fertility, the doctor is just so, they really do break it down of like, you're gonna have these questions. You actually don't even know it yet. And here is like, first, let's do your blood test. Let's make sure everything. And he said that I'm at like a normal age for thirty two.

• 37:52Paige DeSorbo?

  And they can, they can really, like, can they say, yeah, you're definitely going to be able to have a baby? No, but they can give you like the percentages of like, you know, in a couple of years, like, how hard will it be for you to get pregnant? And if your eggs are thirty two now, like, could you get pregnant at forty two with these thirty two year old eggs? Like, yeah, you definitely have a chance, but like, so they really just break it down for you so nicely.

• 38:18Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, it's funny. I don't know anything about my eggs.

• 38:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 38:21Hannah Berner?

  I say eggs weird. I don't know anything about them.

• 38:23Paige DeSorbo?

  Like my mom. So I'm hoping that like, here's the other thing. Now I'm just like waiting on my period.

• 38:29Hannah Berner?

  Well, I'm, are we synced up? Cause I'm supposed to have mine on Tuesday.

• 38:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, fucker.

• 38:35Hannah Berner?

  Okay, don't be jealous.

• 38:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Tuesday as in like tomorrow?

• 38:38Hannah Berner?

  Oh, yeah. I'm like so PMS-y right now. I cried. Oh my, I'm crying over everything.

• 38:44Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, here's what I'm manifesting. And recently I've been praying to Saint Anthony because I feel like him and I are just boys.

• 38:49Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 38:49Paige DeSorbo?

  For things that like, things that aren't even lost.

• 38:52Hannah Berner?

  A hundred percent accuracy. He's never failed.

• 38:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Do you want to know what I used him for last night? Um, I ordered, I ordered pasta, but they didn't have ravioli, but I wrote in the note, if you have ravioli, can I please have it? And I was like, I'm definitely not going to get ravioli. And I said, let me just say a prayer to Saint Anthony. And I said, Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around. Something is lost that must be found and it's my ravioli. Got ravioli in my order.

• 39:14Hannah Berner?

  Dealing with an amber alert and then he's like, hold on one second. Paige DeSorbo needs ravioli.

• 39:17Paige DeSorbo?

  He's a ravioli and a spicy vodka sauce and he came through. So I literally pray to him for things that like, he doesn't even specialize in.

• 39:25Hannah Berner?

  So I know, no matter how good of a person you think you are, whenever we get an amber alert, I'm like, I'm in the middle of a text. I'm in the middle of a text and you're gonna frighten me with some six year olds bullshit. What did she do to deserve it? Okay?

• 39:41Paige DeSorbo?

  No, anyone know what? It's always the dad. It's like, let's just find where the fucking dad is before we all send a text.

• 39:50Paige DeSorbo?

  No, so I'm hoping that I get my period when we get back from Giggly Squad. Last leg of our tour, cause that would be ideal.

• 40:00Hannah Berner?

  All the gigglers are in on it with you.

• 40:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. So like manifest that I could then, because then I'll be home for like the two weeks to do the shots.

• 40:06Hannah Berner?

  Can I say like the most fucked up joke that I'm not doing on stage? I did it once and it didn't get like that good of a response. So then I lost confidence in it. It's really inappropriate. It might need to be cut. I want to do a joke about why getting older is better. And how getting older is better because if you run into a pedophile, you're like, oh, I'm safe. Cause like, if you see any other man, you're like scared unless he's a pedophile and you're like, phew.

• 40:31Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Wait, that might have legs.

• 40:34Hannah Berner?

  There's like, there's something about like.

• 40:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Something there.

• 40:36Hannah Berner?

  Like, yeah, pedophiles are really scary unless you're in your thirties and all the other men are scary.

• 40:40Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 40:41Hannah Berner?

  I didn't even get to all the things I've watched. Have you watched the Gabby Petita?

• 40:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I thought we were gonna say the same thing.

• 40:48Hannah Berner?

  Baby girl?

• 40:49Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no. I watched a show on Hulu this past weekend.

• 40:52Hannah Berner?

  What did you, okay, you start.

• 40:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I watched a show on Hulu called Paradise.

• 40:56Hannah Berner?

  Mmm.

• 40:56Paige DeSorbo?

  It's so freaking good. My guy from This Is Us, Sterling K. Brown, he plays-

• 41:01Hannah Berner?

  Oh, I love him!

• 41:02Paige DeSorbo?

  No, he's so good in this. He plays, um, like, the bodyguard of the President of the United States. But it's about, like, the world ended, and now it's like, all these people that have survived, and they're in- But they made, like, a fake town, so it's like, normal world.

• 41:17Hannah Berner?

  I love apocalyptic stuff.

• 41:19Paige DeSorbo?

  But it doesn't give apocalyptic of, like, they're running around being zombies, because that's like, I don't like that apocalyptic.

• 41:24Hannah Berner?

  It's been done.

• 41:25Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I'm like, it's dusty, it's sturdy, it's not for me. This is like, they live in homes, and like, they have shoes on.

• 41:32Hannah Berner?

  I do feel like zombies are 90s grunge, though. It's kinda like, it's kinda Charlie XCX.

• 41:36Paige DeSorbo?

  I've never been into, like, a zombie, like, whatever. It's such a good show. There's only eight episodes. Six are out right now. And I don't usually like stuff like that, but it's, it's a really good show.

• 41:49Hannah Berner?

  I wasn't a fan, like, I just, I don't think it was that well done of a movie. Do you remember the apocalyptic one with, like, Julia Roberts and stuff? It was on Netflix. It was called, like, The End of Something.

• 41:59Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, no, that was different. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:01Hannah Berner?

  But it was really bad, but like-

• 42:03Paige DeSorbo?

  They all, like, went to the Hamptons?

• 42:04Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, yes, which, but the Hamptons were only, like, 20 minutes away. It just didn't make sense. But then, like, when one of the, all the Teslas started, like-

• 42:13Paige DeSorbo?

  Freaking out.

• 42:14Hannah Berner?

  Freaking out, and then when, when the big boat, like, got turn- it started to scare me, to be like, are they warning us for something? Which aren't conspiracy theories.

• 42:22Paige DeSorbo?

  No, let's not. Here's the other thing. I'm not fighting. I'm not, like, I'll take myself out, like, please. Me and Daphne are, see ya! Like, I don't give a fuck.

• 42:32Hannah Berner?

  Um, someone was talking about, what are they called? Preppers? Who are, like, prepping for the end of the world? And I was just thinking about, like, I'd literally rather kill myself than talk to a doomsday prepper about Joe Rogan for, like, 24 hours.

• 42:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 42:45Hannah Berner?

  Like, you don't want to be stuck with people who are preppers.

• 42:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Being in someone's basement, eating a can of beans, like, get out of here.

• 42:52Hannah Berner?

  Unless they have Pop-Tarts, I'm not gonna, um, okay, so- You're familiar with the Gabby Petito case?

• 42:58Paige DeSorbo?

  I am.

• 43:00Hannah Berner?

  Cause we're journalists.

• 43:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Thank you.

• 43:01Hannah Berner?

  So this, if you're like, oh, I remember when it happened, cause it happened pretty recently. They have so much footage and interviews from Gabby's like family of Gabby Petito. She falls in love with Brian Laundrie. I think that's his name.

• 43:17Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 43:17Hannah Berner?

  And then they head to Florida. You got all these new details. His mom hated her. Like kind of thing where she didn't like that he, she was taking attention from him, like real boy mom vibes. And she even had sent him a note at the end being like, I would bury a body for you, like all this stuff.

• 43:34Paige DeSorbo?

  The mom?

• 43:34Hannah Berner?

  Yes, a note basically being like, if you killed someone, like I will protect you. I'll do anything you need. Um, but Gabby, it shows how she started talking to her ex-boyfriend, being like, I have to get out of this like relationship and they show all the police footage when someone called in was like, this man's hitting a woman. And then they ask her questions and he comes out and he's like, yeah, she's being crazy right now. And like, I hope she talks good about me. And then she's like, sorry, like she doesn't want to get him in trouble. So she's like, sorry, he like, he, I hit him, like it was, cause he had like a scratch on him and they were like, did you?

• 44:06Paige DeSorbo?

  You can't hit a man.

• 44:07Hannah Berner?

  Well, that's first of all, it's legal.

• 44:08Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 44:09Hannah Berner?

  But also like no girl hits a man for no reason. But they literally put him in a hotel for domestic.

• 44:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Violence.

• 44:16Hannah Berner?

  No, for people who were domestic.

• 44:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh.

• 44:19Hannah Berner?

  Victims, abuse victims, and she's stuck in the van. Cause they think she did something. They could have saved her life that day.

• 44:26Paige DeSorbo?

  Even if she did hit him because he pissed her off or like, whatever. Have you ever been in a situation where like you've looked at your boyfriend and you're just like, if you really did want to kill me right now, like you could, and there's nothing I could do?

• 44:40Hannah Berner?

  I don't know. My husband's ACL is torn and like, I feel like I could run away from him.

• 44:43Paige DeSorbo?

  A hundred percent.

• 44:44Hannah Berner?

  But no, I know.

• 44:45Paige DeSorbo?

  In reality, he's six, five.

• 44:47Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 44:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Like there really, it really would be nothing you could do.

• 44:51Hannah Berner?

  Yeah. I mean, I thought like I could kick him in the balls.

• 44:53Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 44:53Hannah Berner?

  I could poke his eye.

• 44:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. No, you'd have to like squirm and figure it out.

• 44:57Hannah Berner?

  TikTok videos that are like, hold his hand like this and twist it. Like, you know, you're not going to do that.

• 45:01Paige DeSorbo?

  No, you're not going to do it. In the moment, in the moment, you're, you're so shocked. Like you're literally just thinking about surviving. So that's insane to me.

• 45:09Hannah Berner?

  It's so spooky because she's crying and she's like, sorry, I have bad anxiety. Like I freaked out and she's trying to protect him. He's not protecting her and he's basically like, yeah, she went crazy. And they believe him. And then weeks later, she's murdered. But this is the crazy part. They don't, no one knows where she is. The parents of her are texting the parents of his, being like, where's Gabby? I haven't heard from her. Your son isn't texting me back. What the fuck's going on?

• 45:35Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 45:35Hannah Berner?

  The parents aren't responding. So, police go up to Brian's parents. Parents and they go, hey, like, where's Gabby? And they go, you can talk to our attorney. And they're like, whoa, like, we're just checking in.

• 45:47Paige DeSorbo?

  Unpopular opinion. My child comes to me and says, Mom, I killed someone. My, I don't want to manifest this. Oh, my God. Saint Anthony, we're not manifesting this. Am I protecting him? Fuck, yeah, I am. I think I, I think I am. Now, if my child is a sociopath.

• 46:09Hannah Berner?

  But he is.

• 46:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Serial killer.

• 46:10Hannah Berner?

  He is.

• 46:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not protecting them. You have to go to jail.

• 46:13Hannah Berner?

  I understand. You'll be there for your kid no matter what. If your kid murders someone, they're capable of murdering again.

• 46:20Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:21Hannah Berner?

  And you're, they're not gonna, I mean, I don't think they'll be killed unless they're in a state, then they could be killed. It does the chair, whatever. Put, visit your kid weekly in jail.

• 46:30Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 46:31Hannah Berner?

  Like, as where he's not hurting other people.

• 46:33Paige DeSorbo?

  Does the chair is crazy.

• 46:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Does the chair is.

• 46:37Hannah Berner?

  Also, chairs crazy, like, they don't even let you lay down. Like, they make you sit up.

• 46:43Paige DeSorbo?

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 46:45Hannah Berner?

  But this is the conspiracy theory. So, everyone's looking for Brian Laundrie. And the parents are like, he's here. But like, the cops don't have the cap, they can't get him yet. Then, apparently, he escaped and went hiking somewhere, because they're, this was also the hardest thing, like, these people love hiking, so I was having trouble wrapping my head around, like, that storyline of it all. So, I was, I don't know, I couldn't relate. But then, there's, they do this whole search party for him. And then, the parents, in one hour, find him, I'm putting that in quotes, and his body was already decomposed. This is what they're saying on TikTok, that to identify him, they brought the teeth to a dentist, and that dentist was the mom's brother.

• 47:28Hannah Berner?

  There's a conspiracy, I don't know if this is accurate, but there's a conspiracy theory that he's still alive in South Africa, I mean, sorry, South America.

• 47:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Wow.

• 47:38Hannah Berner?

  No, like, it's a lot to process.

• 47:41Paige DeSorbo?

  How'd they get his tooth, though?

• 47:45Hannah Berner?

  The point, the thing is, it probably wasn't his tooth. That was the

• 47:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Oh, I was so hung up. I'm like, so he took out all his teeth and he's in South America with dentures? That's a crime in itself.

• 47:58Hannah Berner?

  No, so that her brother, who's the dentist, was like, yeah, that's Brian. So that she could hide him in a different

• 48:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Remember, there was also a conspiracy theory. He was in, like, the flower bed in their backyard.

• 48:08Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 48:09Paige DeSorbo?

  I loved that one. That was one of my favorite ones.

• 48:11Hannah Berner?

  It's a rabbit.

• 48:11Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, this is a real Scooby Doo thing.

• 48:14Hannah Berner?

  She changed him into a rabbit with a magician, and now he lives in her flower beds. So that's fucking horrible and scary. But one thing I did like about the documentary, it really shed a light on the victim. I hate when they're, like, obsessed with, like, the man and how fucking crazy he is. It was literally just being like, Gabby Petito was an amazing fucking person.

• 48:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's something else to note. Someone kills my daughter, I'm showing up to your house. I'm ringing the doorbell and I'm shooting you in the head. Like, there's just, I don't get, I will have called the cops prior, like, meet me here. Because you're gonna, and make sure you have your handcuffs, because I'm going to kill someone.

• 48:49Hannah Berner?

  Imagine texting the parents and them not responding to you when you say, do you know where your daughter

• 48:53Paige DeSorbo?

  I would have killed those fucking parents, too.

• 48:57Hannah Berner?

  Then we're wondering, like, why are the parents not in trouble for, like, whatever it's called, like, hiding a fugitive, which is crazy.

• 49:03Paige DeSorbo?

  An accessory. They should be in jail, too.

• 49:06Hannah Berner?

  Apparently, he wanted to get her away from her friends and family, kind of.

• 49:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Classic.

• 49:09Hannah Berner?

  So he brought her in a van to be like, let's do a van thing, because that was kind of her dream. And she goes, I'm gonna do, then I'm gonna make money and do, like, a YouTube van vlogging thing.

• 49:18Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 49:18Hannah Berner?

  And he didn't believe in it.

• 49:21Hannah Berner?

  He made fun of it. And now her vlog has millions of views.

• 49:25Paige DeSorbo?

  I've always wanted to be more consistent with strength training, but my biggest problem is getting to the gym and thinking, okay, now what? I'll do a few exercises I remember, maybe a pull-up, something I saved on Instagram, but there's never really any planning behind it. That's what I've been loving about the Ladder app. I open it and my workout is already planned for me by an expert coach. I know exactly what exercises I'm doing, how many sets, how many reps, and the in-ear coaching gives me cues and motivation throughout the workout. It genuinely feels like having a personal trainer in my headphones. I love using this whenever I'm in hotels. I've been using it for a while now and I see and also feel myself getting stronger each day because of Ladder. I have also been eyeing their Pilates workout routines for a little while now,

• 50:09Paige DeSorbo?

  so that will definitely be in my next workout venture. And for less than $1 a day, you can't beat it. And I love that Ladder remembers my weights, reps, and sets, because I can actually see my progress instead of wondering whether what I'm doing is working. Plus, you can get a new plan every week that builds on the last. Remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. And if you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly and take a quick quiz to find your perfect Ladder plan. Use my link and get a free seven-day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join.

• 50:48Hannah Berner?

  The Columbia Amaze Puff Jacket is so iconic because I feel so encapsulated and warm, but it's so light.

• 50:55Paige DeSorbo?

  Great use of encapsulated. I went whimsical. My jacket is the Tea Light Pearl Shine, and it really does give Tea Light Pearl Shine.

• 51:04Hannah Berner?

  It gives it.

• 51:05Paige DeSorbo?

  It's honey.

• 51:06Hannah Berner?

  Honey. And mine's black.

• 51:09Paige DeSorbo?

  Because sometimes in the winter, you just see all the same colors. And I'm like, okay, but let me throw like a galosh on with my puffer coat and let me have it be fun colors.

• 51:19Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, because you like a coat to be part of the outfit.

• 51:22Paige DeSorbo?

  It's the outfit.

• 51:22Hannah Berner?

  Not ruining the outfit. But also, I hate when you put on coats and then you're like stiff. You guys, I literally could swim in this.

• 51:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, it feels like it's light, but it's also extremely warm.

• 51:33Hannah Berner?

  It's not overpriced.

• 51:35Paige DeSorbo?

  No.

• 51:35Hannah Berner?

  And we love giving the Giggler's a good deal. And it has space for layering. Like, you don't feel like it's tight, so I can layer a lot.

• 51:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Very important, because there's nothing worse than like layering and you're stiff and then you're sweating and it's like a cold sweat and it's like, no.

• 51:48Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 51:48Paige DeSorbo?

  And I love that it has these things for your hands, because I really use them with my thumbs. I love when jackets have this.

• 51:56Hannah Berner?

  So cute. And they have all different length options for what you prefer, depending on how long your torso is. Visit columbia.com to get your hands on an Amaze Puff Jacket.

• 52:07Paige DeSorbo?

  It's tough on cold, soft on you.

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• 53:10Paige DeSorbo?

  Are you on the side of TikTok where girls are just like posting their like, like their legitimate abusive husbands? And it's like, I'm like, wait, but you're still married to this guy? Like you're in it real time? Like, what if he sees this?

• 53:23Hannah Berner?

  Like posting him doing something?

• 53:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like I'm on the side of TikTok where all of these girls are posting like, videoing their husbands and the husbands don't know it and being like, no one's gonna watch your TikToks. And then they do get like a bunch of likes and people are like, leave him. But that makes me so scared for them. I'm like, wait, you're still in it, though? Like, what if he catches wind of this?

• 53:45Hannah Berner?

  It's very interesting because it's like when you're in this like scary place, you're really crying out for help. But these people don't expect the videos to go viral. And next thing you know, like, he's exposed in a way that like, he could get, he could hurt you.

• 54:01Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 54:02Hannah Berner?

  I'm not on that side.

• 54:05Paige DeSorbo?

  Okay, sorry. You don't know where my algorithm has taken me, you know?

• 54:12Hannah Berner?

  I'm on like last second.

• 54:12Paige DeSorbo?

  One time we were on tour, though, when I heard a guy, do you remember when I heard a guy yelling at his girlfriend in the hotel room and I called down to the front desk?

• 54:21Hannah Berner?

  Yes.

• 54:21Paige DeSorbo?

  That was scary. And it took everything in me to not open my door and go out, but I was like,

• 54:29Paige DeSorbo?

  I can't like what

• 54:30Hannah Berner?

  What are you gonna do?

• 54:30Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't want him to know my room and yeah, and then like beat me up.

• 54:33Hannah Berner?

  What are you gonna fight him?

• 54:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, I was like

• 54:35Hannah Berner?

  No, you did the right thing.

• 54:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, I'm literally gonna, I wanna murder this guy.

• 54:40Hannah Berner?

  Honestly, if anyone's man, if any man's voice gets raised like even slightly, I'm calling the police.

• 54:45Paige DeSorbo?

  No, calling the police. I actually one time was with a boyfriend and someone called the hotel's security on us because he was screaming so loudly. And I, and in that moment, I was so embarrassed because like I've never had to talk to hotel security. But in that moment, I was like, I know a girl called for me. Isn't that crazy?

• 55:05Hannah Berner?

  What did you say?

• 55:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I was like, oh, like, well, I'm fine. But like, yeah. I was like, oh, he's just like, you know.

• 55:13Hannah Berner?

  I'd be like, okay, this is the fucking tea.

• 55:15Paige DeSorbo?

  But like you're in, like, what are you gonna do?

• 55:17Hannah Berner?

  No, yeah, because obviously you told on him if, if he's in trouble.

• 55:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Right.

• 55:20Hannah Berner?

  It's a very, very, oh, sorry. I just like

• 55:24Paige DeSorbo?

  That was your inner, your inner child.

• 55:33Hannah Berner?

  Weird transition. Have you watched Baby Girl?

• 55:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yes.

• 55:37Hannah Berner?

  Okay, there's a, it's a very controversial.

• 55:39Paige DeSorbo?

  This is controversial.

• 55:40Hannah Berner?

  What are your thoughts?

• 55:41Paige DeSorbo?

  As someone who literally watched three hundred and sixty-five days during COVID every single day and use my vibrator to this man, I love a sex scene. I love a sexual movie. I love putting myself in the mindset. It does not, it's never too much for me. Baby Girl made me uncomfy. And I'm never like, I literally felt like a mom. I go, this is too much.

• 56:06Hannah Berner?

  Really?

• 56:07Paige DeSorbo?

  I did, I was not aroused.

• 56:09Hannah Berner?

  You love choking. You love

• 56:11Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I love like a dominant, like, there was, I don't know if it was because it was Nicole Kidman and I feel like I have a relationship to her.

• 56:20Hannah Berner?

  That's my mother.

• 56:21Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was like, no, Nicole.

• 56:24Hannah Berner?

  So Gabby Bryan, one of my good friends, had the funniest response. She was like, first of all, no one's believing that Antonio Banderas has never given you an orgasm. That's

• 56:34Paige DeSorbo?

  No, that was wildly

• 56:36Hannah Berner?

  That was a miscasting.

• 56:37Paige DeSorbo?

  Because in my head, I'm like, wait, your husband's hot as fuck.

• 56:41Hannah Berner?

  Also, Antonio Banderas will make you come just pronouncing his own name.

• 56:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, I was like, this is not.

• 56:46Hannah Berner?

  And then she was saying how she kept like licking milk but pretending to be a dog. And I'm like, that's just like factually incorrect.

• 56:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, like your cat.

• 56:56Hannah Berner?

  Um, I, this is the thing, I thought he was like so hot.

• 57:01Paige DeSorbo?

  He was so hot.

• 57:02Hannah Berner?

  And, but then I saw him being himself, which is British with like a weird haircut. And then I got the ick. So I love him in his American version.

• 57:09Paige DeSorbo?

  There were also just like certain things where I was like, okay, you're not doing this before work.

• 57:14Paige DeSorbo?

  She got like all ready and then it was like, meet me at a hotel at, what, what time was that? Six thirty AM? You can't do anything to me at six thirty AM, but get smacked in the face. Like, what? No. Get off of me.

• 57:27Hannah Berner?

  Um, but there's, there's theories that make it like a little more interesting. I thought it was fun. I just think there's like two types of people, people who were like, this was too much. And then people who were like, like, okay, you like made her drink milk, like,

• 57:39Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:40Hannah Berner?

  do more.

• 57:41Paige DeSorbo?

  I thought it was gonna be just like, those types of movies though, really never, I feel like do well.

• 57:46Hannah Berner?

  At the end, you're kind of like,

• 57:48Paige DeSorbo?

  Grey's, like Fifty Shades of Grey, like it was never really it for me either. I was just like,

• 57:53Hannah Berner?

  It reminded me of the Barry Keoghan movie.

• 57:56Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 57:57Hannah Berner?

  Like, they love getting a baby girl boy dancing to music awkwardly long.

• 58:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and there's just like, I'm too interested in like logistics and it's like, he showed up to the house. It's like, now you're just being messy. Like, don't talk to my kids, you know?

• 58:15Hannah Berner?

  So I want to say a spoiler. Okay, I'm gonna say spoiler.

• 58:19Paige DeSorbo?

  It's been out for so long.

• 58:20Hannah Berner?

  Fast, like the Charlotte Tilbury blush.

• 58:23Paige DeSorbo?

  It's literally been out for almost.

• 58:24Hannah Berner?

  Fast forward, but what makes it a little more interesting is, you know, it kind of doesn't make sense that like, the dog attacks her and then he brings the dog back. And it seems just like very planned and she, and she's like, you just like get people, like you understand me, you like saw me. Apparently, he's always been dating that girl and that girl knew what she was like. And that girl told him the whole time to do that stuff so that at the end she could say. Then it's funny, at the end, she's not even like, make me CEO. She's like, let me talk in the YouTube videos.

• 58:54Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the other thing.

• 58:57Paige DeSorbo?

  If you're below the age of, what am I, thirty-two? If you're below the age of thirty-one, you're a fetus to me. Like, there's in no situation I'm looking at a male intern and being like, you could probably fuck me really good.

• 59:10Hannah Berner?

  This is my thing, though. I think there's an age of woman where you, you like, kind of forget what young guys are like, and you're like, wait, it would be fun to teach them.

• 59:19Paige DeSorbo?

  No, not for me.

• 59:22Paige DeSorbo?

  See, I feel like you and I are similar in that. We're going old decrepit.

• 59:28Paige DeSorbo?

  We're going, remember how hot of girls you used to be able to get? Here we are. We're not going opposite. Let me teach you. Uh, no. I've taught enough men enough things.

• 59:39Hannah Berner?

  Luann gets it.

• 59:41Paige DeSorbo?

  She's, yeah, but she's different than that.

• 59:43Hannah Berner?

  She's fun. She's fun. Do you now think, because I, I got you to be a cat girl, could you see yourself with a zaddy?

• 59:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Hundred percent.

• 59:52Hannah Berner?

  Why?

• 59:52Paige DeSorbo?

  I could never see myself with someone younger. I could only ever see myself with someone older.

• 59:57Hannah Berner?

  Who like falls asleep at like nine?

• 59:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I would love it. I would love it because I have, I like to do things by myself at night.

• 1:00:03Hannah Berner?

  No, I party at night.

• 1:00:05Paige DeSorbo?

  There's nothing I love more than like, like occupying my boyfriend with like his favorite show. And it's like, okay, I'm gonna put this on for you and then I'm gonna go do my stuff. Like, you know? So I could go older. I could never go younger. I just, I really couldn't.

• 1:00:19Hannah Berner?

  And I do have to say, I feel like in your twenties, going a lot older, there's a weird power dynamic, but you're kind of prime time for a zaddy right now because you're financially independent. You know who you are. You know what you want. An, an older man is not gonna like...

• 1:00:34Paige DeSorbo?

  A crisp forty-four?

• 1:00:36Hannah Berner?

  Ooh! No, but also, let's discuss how forty-four is when their faces like become like, they're men.

• 1:00:43Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, they're men.

• 1:00:44Hannah Berner?

  Like, no offense, but like, I see a thirty-five-year-old guy now and I'm like, okay, liter-, you still have to call your mom. You still have to call your mom.

• 1:00:50Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah. Yeah, you still call, your mom is still like nervous that you're not gonna get married. Forty-four, they're like, we don't give a fuck what he does. He doesn't even have a mom. You know, like, no, I'm down for that.

• 1:01:03Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God, I'm excited for you. See, we're, we're merging.

• 1:01:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the other thing that people don't realize. The Vanity Fair red carpet is also me speed dating. So I better get ready for that Hannah.

• 1:01:16Hannah Berner?

  Wait, I'm gonna be Chris Harrison.

• 1:01:19Paige DeSorbo?

  There's no Bachelor in 2025. Yeah, there is.

• 1:01:24Paige DeSorbo?

  Vanity Fair red carpet.

• 1:01:26Hannah Berner?

  Wait, someone comes up and I look at you and you're like, no. And I'm like, sorry, we can't interview him right now. She's not interested.

• 1:01:32Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, no, you're supposed to interview me for my movie. And I'm like, sorry, I don't want to go on a date.

• 1:01:36Hannah Berner?

  What is interviewing? I'm not available.

• 1:01:39Paige DeSorbo?

  They're like, Paige, it's not why you're here.

• 1:01:40Hannah Berner?

  What is interesting with meeting these like A-listers that we're gonna do is like, you know them, but then when you interview them, first of all, you get their vibe and you also see their actual height. I'm nervous that some celebs, I feel like I'm never gonna be able to enjoy their movies again because I'll be friends with them now.

• 1:01:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Here's the thing, though.

• 1:01:58Hannah Berner?

  Not friends, but like, I know them now.

• 1:01:59Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not trying to like date an A-lister or someone famous. Who's the guy behind you?

• 1:02:03Hannah Berner?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Who's your manager?

• 1:02:05Hannah Berner?

  Well, it's normally, it's normally a stressed out female publicist.

• 1:02:07Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, that's true. But like, is your financial manager also here with you? Or maybe your agent is here.

• 1:02:13Hannah Berner?

  You go, who's your agent?

• 1:02:15Paige DeSorbo?

  Who runs the agency? But who really runs everything?

• 1:02:17Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, who's calling the shots?

• 1:02:19Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:20Hannah Berner?

  Because you're a puppet, a little puppet.

• 1:02:22Paige DeSorbo?

  You're a little baby.

• 1:02:23Hannah Berner?

  No, it'll be very interesting.

• 1:02:24Paige DeSorbo?

  It'll be interesting.

• 1:02:25Hannah Berner?

  Um, so to wrap this up, I caused some drama in an elite.

• 1:02:29Paige DeSorbo?

  Amongst?

• 1:02:30Hannah Berner?

  Elite Daily posted a video of fuck, marry, kill, Italian food.

• 1:02:34Paige DeSorbo?

  I saw it.

• 1:02:34Hannah Berner?

  And the cancellation was close. I wanted your opinion because at first I was like, I don't know if I said the right thing and I thought about and I go, no, I'm gonna double down. I think I was right.

• 1:02:46Paige DeSorbo?

  And I'm not someone that just like will blindly support.

• 1:02:50Hannah Berner?

  No.

• 1:02:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Anyone. It's, it's.

• 1:02:52Hannah Berner?

  Definitely not me.

• 1:02:53Paige DeSorbo?

  But let me tell you something. I think you made the right call.

• 1:02:56Hannah Berner?

  Wait, okay, tell them fuck, marry, kill, lasagna, pizza, or chicken parmigiana and why?

• 1:03:03Paige DeSorbo?

  Chicken parmigiana is just like.

• 1:03:06Hannah Berner?

  It hits everything.

• 1:03:06Paige DeSorbo?

  It hits everything. Sometimes with lasagna, if you don't have a meat in your lasagna, and like I personally sometimes don't like meat in my lasagna.

• 1:03:16Paige DeSorbo?

  You have pasta and you're like, I need a protein, like I need a meat.

• 1:03:19Hannah Berner?

  People fuck up lasagna.

• 1:03:20Paige DeSorbo?

  People fuck it up a lot.

• 1:03:22Hannah Berner?

  Also, like, you always feel like it's too, it's too much lasagna, not like too mu- it just.

• 1:03:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Well.

• 1:03:29Hannah Berner?

  It's like the soup of, of pasta.

• 1:03:32Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I'm gonna tell you, say something else. I never order lasagna out.

• 1:03:36Hannah Berner?

  Never.

• 1:03:37Paige DeSorbo?

  I'm not going to a restaurant and ordering lasagna.

• 1:03:39Hannah Berner?

  Lasagna, I hate to say it, lasagna is what people make when there's too many people at the party and you just want people to be fed.

• 1:03:45Paige DeSorbo?

  Right. So like, and that's why, like, leaving it on your stoop, it's homemade.

• 1:03:49Hannah Berner?

  It's homemade.

• 1:03:50Paige DeSorbo?

  And that's better for me. I'm not getting it out on a restaurant.

• 1:03:52Hannah Berner?

  It's a casserole.

• 1:03:54Paige DeSorbo?

  And pizza is.

• 1:03:56Hannah Berner?

  Well, yeah.

• 1:03:57Paige DeSorbo?

  Well, we're not gonna kill pizza, that's crazy.

• 1:03:59Hannah Berner?

  Late night, pizza has always been there.

• 1:04:02Paige DeSorbo?

  Pizza cold, pizza warm, pizza with toppings, people, pizza with just cheese.

• 1:04:05Hannah Berner?

  Every kind of turn me around.

• 1:04:06Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:08Hannah Berner?

  Every hole, let's go.

• 1:04:13Hannah Berner?

  But chicken parmigiana, like, I respect. Like, I respect its mind, I respect its body.

• 1:04:17Paige DeSorbo?

  I one time dated a man that was just like, well, I actually, I shouldn't really come for this, because I feel like you like this too. That was just like pizza with pineapple on it is like so good.

• 1:04:26Hannah Berner?

  It's very Dez. Dez has like a really good comedy bit about, about pizza.

• 1:04:31Paige DeSorbo?

  And I think it was like in that moment that I was like, I just like will never orgasm to you.

• 1:04:38Paige DeSorbo?

  I'll never think about you later in life and come to you. So know that.

• 1:04:43Hannah Berner?

  Dez, I'm gonna ruin it, but this is one of my favorite jokes. He jokes that when people say like, oh, I don't like pineapple with pizza. And then he's like, why? And they're like, I don't know. It's like, oh, so you don't like something? Like, have you ever tried it? And they're like, no. And he said it's giving, like, when guys are like, oh, I would never date another man. It's like, what, are you afraid if you tried it, you'd like it?

• 1:05:04Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, yeah. I've tried it though, and I don't like it.

• 1:05:08Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, I would never order it out of the blue. Yeah, and I would never order it over things.

• 1:05:13Paige DeSorbo?

  I don't like, but I like pineapple as my fruit. I don't like when pineapple's in other foods. Like, I don't like a pineapple sauce on like a random chicken dish, or like, so I'm, keep me out of it.

• 1:05:26Hannah Berner?

  Unless it's like kinda Caribbean.

• 1:05:28Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, but even then, I'm just like, I don't like when things are sweet that are supposed to be savory.

• 1:05:33Hannah Berner?

  Yeah, and some people are obsessed with sweet and salty together.

• 1:05:36Paige DeSorbo?

  Yeah, and I'm not one of those people. I like individualized. But anyway, that's just a little bit about me. In my palate. What time are we at?

• 1:05:46Hannah Berner?

  We, we have to promote two shows, Vegas and

• 1:05:51Paige DeSorbo?

  Salt Lake City.

• 1:05:51Hannah Berner?

  Salt Lake City with the Mormons. Who knew the Mormons were not buying tickets? I'm just kidding. We have actually a couple of tickets left. Um, and we love the Mormon community. We take back everything we've said.

• 1:06:02Paige DeSorbo?

  This is the last time we're doing Giggly Squad outfits and I

• 1:06:05Hannah Berner?

  Have nothing left.

• 1:06:06Paige DeSorbo?

  I have nothing left to give.

• 1:06:08Hannah Berner?

  We love you guys. Thank you for giggling with us.

• 1:06:11Paige DeSorbo?

  And the next time we talk to you, we will have done the Oscars.

• 1:06:16Hannah Berner?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:06:16Paige DeSorbo?

  So next episode is gonna be so cheap.

• 1:06:18Hannah Berner?

  Next episode, make sure you swipe, subscribe. Don't miss it. Swipe up.

• 1:06:28Hannah Berner?

  Hey, it's Hannah and Paige. Thank you so much for tuning into Giggly Squad every week.

• 1:06:33Paige DeSorbo?

  If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcast Plus on Apple Podcast or visit SiriusXM.com/podcastplus to listen on Spotify or another app of your choice.