Share & Christmas & Tell with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne (and Jordon Hudson)

In our year-end holiday spectacular, we get a visit from The Ghost of Podcast Future — and get increasingly loose: Has this show been ripped from the headlines? When did women start to stinkin'? Is Pablo the 50 Cent of journalism? And the tree is gone, but does the fire remain? Plus: legumes, gifts, 0.5x bonus points, Mad Dog's dildo policy, slingin' grease with Cletus... and hearing a smile. • Call our hotline: (513) 85-PABLO • Decorate our tree: 33°56'36.5"N, 118°20'38.7"W https://maps.app.goo.gl/JbJxfn1k9Rb5nnTj8?g_st=ic • Previously on PTFO: Debunking the Myths of Bill Belichick's Consigliere https://pod.link/1685093486/episode/NjhmYWMyMDA3YjA4OTYxMzE5ZTNiYzFi • Previously on PTFO: We All Have a Number https://pod.link/1685093486/episode/NjkwOTYyNzQ0NzE1MjVkMzUyZDVmMzYx • Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan" https://pod.link/1788997372 • Listen to "Sorry for Your Loss" by Michael Cruz Kayne https://www.audible.com/pd/Sorry-for-Your-Loss-Audiobook/B0CGJSXSPF • Subscribe to Pablo Torre Finds Out on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@PabloTorreFindsOut/ for bonus holiday content • Subscribe to Pablo's newsletter https://pablo.show/ for exclusive access, documents and invites Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Pablo Torre?

  Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre, and today, we're gonna find out what this sound is.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree.

• 0:27Pablo Torre?

  Right after this ad.

• 0:32Speaker 02

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• 0:59Speaker 03

  I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh. Anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up! Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade-in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.

• 1:32Pablo Torre?

  This episode is brought to you by apollo.io. A lot of the stories on this show start the same way. Something that looks pretty simple turns out to be a mess once you look under the hood. Well, it's no different in the sales world. Your team has a tool for finding prospects, a different tool for reaching out to them, and a third for keeping track of it all. On paper, that's a system. In practice, it's a salesperson spending the better part of the day copying names from one tab into another and not much of it actually selling. Apollo.io is a platform that helps sales teams find the right buyers and reach out to them. It brings prospecting, outreach, and follow-up into one place instead of several separate tools.

• 2:14Pablo Torre?

  It's used by sales teams of all sizes, from small businesses to larger organizations, and it's built for teams who want less manual busywork and more time with buyers. If your marketing and sales teams are trying to work from the same view of the customer, it's worth a look. Sign up for free at Apollo.io. That's Apollo.io.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  Yay!

• 2:51Speaker 05

  Out of my mouth! Hi, Pop Lito!

• 2:53Pablo Torre?

  Out of her mouth and under the table.

• 2:55Speaker 05

  What are we doing? Which of these do you want me to put on? I'm down for all of them.

• 2:58Pablo Torre?

  You choose the one that most speaks to you. Maybe I'll put this up, because I don't want to obscure the... That's like a thing to put around your neck if you so desire.

• 3:06Speaker 05

  Whoa.

• 3:07Pablo Torre?

  This? Yeah, man. This gay garland? Hey.

• 3:11Speaker 05

  Hey.

• 3:12Pablo Torre?

  Y'all don't... I know you guys don't know Christmas carols like I do.

• 3:14Speaker 05

  You guys, the studio looks fantastic.

• 3:16Pablo Torre?

  Thank you. I mean, you guys spared no expense.

• 3:19Speaker 05

  None.

• 3:20Pablo Torre?

  We don't have a proper tree, but everything else...

• 3:24Speaker 05

  That's okay.

• 3:25Pablo Torre?

  We're in good shape.

• 3:26Speaker 05

  We poppin' that, or what?

• 3:27Pablo Torre?

  We got this. You poppin' that?

• 3:29Speaker 05

  We poppin' that?

• 3:30Pablo Torre?

  We have champagne. Do you know to open champagne? Know how to?

• 3:33Speaker 05

  I mean, in a room full of this much expensive equipment, I could try.

• 3:36Pablo Torre?

  In front of so many blinking lights and devices that could electrocute us immediately? You're a former bartender.

• 3:42Speaker 05

  Yikes. Yeah, and every time I had to do this, I'm... We're not even near the step where that's going to...

• 3:47Pablo Torre?

  Okay, yeah, but just for kicks.

• 3:49Speaker 05

  Everybody relax.

• 3:50Pablo Torre?

  Yep, okay.

• 3:51Speaker 05

  Everybody relax. Why is this... Why am I being tasked with this?

• 3:55Pablo Torre?

  You've got this, because you have the...

• 3:56Speaker 05

  So let me talk you through our specials tonight, so we don't waste any time. We've got a lovely chicken marsala that comes over pasta you can choose between fettuccine, linguine, or...

• 4:07Pablo Torre?

  She's removing the metal thing. Where do we work? Where's this spiel from?

• 4:10Speaker 05

  We have a farfalle. Oh, I don't know. I'm making this up.

• 4:13Pablo Torre?

  Oh, okay. She's degloving the champagne. Oh, there, it's happening.

• 4:16Speaker 05

  Damn it. You got it. You got it. It's so close. You got it! You got it!

• 4:22Speaker 04

  Grip, strength.

• 4:24Speaker 05

  Oh god. You got it. Oh my god, this is the biggest cork I've ever had to pull out of a bottle. Give me one sec to take a breath. You got it.

• 4:33Speaker 05

  Yes!

• 4:33Speaker 04

  U.S.A.

• 4:35Speaker 05

  Ow.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  Great work.

• 4:36Speaker 05

  Hand is cramped. Christmas year and spectacular. And then you sniff it. I sniff it? Why? Cause I said.

• 4:43Pablo Torre?

  This is how we're starting our Christmas year in spectacular, guys. Thank you for doing this. Here you go. Michael, Katie.

• 4:48Speaker 04

  Um, I...

• 4:50Speaker 05

  Are you abstaining? Are you pregnant?

• 4:52Speaker 04

  I don't like to drink. Give me a little bit. Not that much. I got a drop of it.

• 4:56Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  You know why I don't like it? It's bad.

• 5:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's poison.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  That's plus, though. That's more than enough. I'll be... Also, there's maybe like the... My genetic makeup. I will be drunk from this much. It will change my personality.

• 5:10Speaker 05

  Are your cheeks gonna get red?

• 5:12Speaker 04

  I don't think I flush, but I do get... I will go from... Animated and...

• 5:16Speaker 05

  Do you flush?

• 5:17Pablo Torre?

  I have.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  I will go from, uh, animated and intelligent to completely useless.

• 5:24Speaker 05

  Oh, good. I love it. You sure you don't want a little more?

• 5:27Speaker 04

  No, then I'll fall asleep.

• 5:29Pablo Torre?

  Cheers. Thank you guys for doing this.

• 5:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, thanks.

• 5:31Pablo Torre?

  Sincere, sincere thank you for all the...

• 5:34Speaker 05

  Free labor.

• 5:35Pablo Torre?

  Free labor.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  Here's to us.

• 5:38Pablo Torre?

  Here's to us. We have gifts on the table.

• 5:40Speaker 05

  Yay, for us.

• 5:41Pablo Torre?

  You can't open them until the end.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  If these are something about Jordon Hudson and Bill Belichick, I'm gonna walk out. I just let it be known and stated.

• 5:48Pablo Torre?

  I forgot the last...

• 5:49Speaker 04

  You forgot that was happening? You forgot the last thing?

• 5:51Speaker 05

  What's happening here?

• 5:53Speaker 04

  That... Jordon Hudson is underneath that.

• 5:55Speaker 05

  What is this?

• 5:55Pablo Torre?

  So, the ghost of Christmas of podcast future.

• 6:00Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 6:01Pablo Torre?

  Is a thing I want us to contemplate. That's right. A silent, I believe in the story, a silent entity. That... Does watch over us.

• 6:10Speaker 05

  It's gonna be Jordan. It's gonna be a fat head.

• 6:12Pablo Torre?

  It's not not going to be.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude. What's up, girlie?

• 6:16Pablo Torre?

  It's not not going to be her.

• 6:16Speaker 05

  What's up, girlie? What's happening?

• 6:18Speaker 04

  Were you able to purchase this someplace, or did you have this custom made?

• 6:21Pablo Torre?

  We had this made at FedEx.

• 6:23Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 6:25Speaker 05

  And now she's not wearing her cancelled necklace. Is that the B? Is that a B, like a Barbie B?

• 6:29Pablo Torre?

  That's the band, the band.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  Oh, it says band. I thought it said canc- I forgot. I'm sorry, Pablo. I don't watch these things back.

• 6:33Pablo Torre?

  You don't know the lore of ourselves?

• 6:35Speaker 05

  No, I'm usually pretty high when I'm here, and nothing sticks. Do you know what I'm saying? Now Pablo, this is where I'm gonna say, I hope you got a plan for this episode, cuz this is what we're bringing.

• 6:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what we got.

• 6:48Speaker 05

  This is what we have.

• 6:49Pablo Torre?

  Unfortunately.

• 6:50Speaker 05

  Nothing, huh?

• 6:51Pablo Torre?

  That's pretty much it.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  Sweet. Another hour of this, baby.

• 7:13Pablo Torre?

  Part of the reason I wanted to have both of you here is not just because I wanna say thank you as my friends for doing this and trusting us every time you show up here, not knowing what's underneath various surfaces and/or inside of boxes and/or behind you.

• 7:26Speaker 05

  And/or stuck to the table.

• 7:27Pablo Torre?

  Have you guys seen Elsabeth?

• 7:30Speaker 04

  I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it yet.

• 7:32Speaker 05

  I haven't seen it either.

• 7:33Pablo Torre?

  Well, you have come to the right podcast taping.

• 7:36Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 7:37Speaker 04

  Yes, all Elsabeth.

• 7:38Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 7:39Pablo Torre?

  Can you explain what Elsabeth is, anyone?

• 7:42Speaker 05

  No, not me.

• 7:43Pablo Torre?

  Who can do this?

• 7:43Speaker 04

  Okay, I think it is about a woman, um, she's like a DOJ lawyer or something? And through a consent decree has been assigned to work with these-

• 7:56Speaker 05

  Consent decree?

• 7:57Speaker 04

  NYPD? Is that? Is all of this wrong?

• 8:00Pablo Torre?

  So what I know-

• 8:01Speaker 04

  Wyatt Sinak explained it to me, and I didn't understand it.

• 8:03Speaker 05

  Wyatt Sinak is a big Elsabeth fan?

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Wyatt Sinak is a huge Elsabeth fan, apparently.

• 8:07Pablo Torre?

  This is the right reaction to learning.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  Is this a bit?

• 8:09Pablo Torre?

  No, it's shocking to everybody.

• 8:10Speaker 04

  I was at a thing, I saw Wyatt Sinak, I started talking about, we were talking about this podcast. I told him about Elsabeth, and he was like, "Oh, I watch Elsabeth," and then he explained-

• 8:19Speaker 05

  You watch Els-

• 8:20Speaker 04

  And I was like, if I had to think of one person, if I, if in my mind, when I conjure-

• 8:23Pablo Torre?

  In a draft of the last people on the planet, I would take Wyatt probably first.

• 8:28Speaker 05

  Second, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Anyway, he was saying that's a woman with a consent decree who's now assigned to work with the, with the cops.

• 8:34Speaker 05

  That's where you got the phrase consent decree.

• 8:36Speaker 04

  I didn't know, I didn't know what it means, but I know that it's involved.

• 8:38Pablo Torre?

  A consultant detective for the NYPD. CBS primetime earlier this month, there's an episode. And the episode involves a young character whose name is Peyton Ramsey.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  Peyton Ramsey.

• 8:54Pablo Torre?

  Peyton Ramsey.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  I should interrupt to tell you guys, I think I'm drunk. Okay, carry on. I've, I've barely more than smelled this champagne. I'm feeling a little drunk.

• 9:04Pablo Torre?

  She's a precocious young character who may or may not be based on someone who may or may not be looming behind Katie Nolan at this moment. She is being described by some podcasters.

• 9:17Speaker 05

  What?

• 9:19Pablo Torre?

  And, uh, her boyfriend happens to be an older college coach. That may seem similar to certain characters we have covered on this show, even though he is a college basketball coach at a place called St. Ivan's University.

• 9:33Speaker 06

  Clearly basketball is like the last thing on this man's mind right now. You're acting like we don't know exactly who to blame. Dude, I feel like if I mention her name, she'll put a hex on my ding dong.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  She's not Voldemort, man.

• 9:45Speaker 06

  She might be.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  We're talking about the biggest story in sports right now.

• 9:49Speaker 06

  Don't say her name.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Peyton Ramsey. I said it.

• 9:52Speaker 06

  Well, now she's gonna hex your ding dong. Good thing you never use it. Hey, speaking of that, today's podcast is brought to you by Shape and Scale. Fellas, you know how bad it hurts when you're using clippers down there and you catch a bit of script?

• 10:05Speaker 05

  Oh, she was listening to the podcast.

• 10:07Pablo Torre?

  She was listening to the podcast.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  So the three of us have been, in this rip from the headlines, mushed into two dudes.

• 10:15Speaker 05

  Into two dudes using weird tones to talk about it.

• 10:18Pablo Torre?

  Well, I should say for the audio only audience so far, a couple of revelations.

• 10:22Speaker 05

  Right.

• 10:23Pablo Torre?

  Peyton Ramsey slash Jordan Hudson.

• 10:26Pablo Torre?

  Is Asian. She's played by Vietnamese actress. Lana Condor, what a name.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  What a [bleep] name. Lana Condor?

• 10:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:35Speaker 04

  Which sounds absolutely like a supervillain. That's a supervillain's, um, not even an alias.

• 10:40Speaker 05

  If I may, and this is editorializing, immediately more stylish than her inspiration.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 10:49Speaker 05

  You know, cooler. She walked in the room, I was like, oh, so cool lady. Now, we don't know anything about her character, but I just, you know, when Jordan walked into her room, I don't think I went like, whoa.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:58Speaker 05

  I went like, well, she's got, you know? So anyway, back to this.

• 11:03Speaker 07

  Have you listened yet?

• 11:05Speaker 08

  Hey, beautiful. Listen to what? Hmm.

• 11:10Speaker 07

  We can't let these guys keep talking about us like this.

• 11:12Speaker 08

  You know my media policy. Paige, just tune it out. Focus on the fundamentals.

• 11:17Speaker 07

  These guys have millions of followers, okay? And by the way, they're still quoting inside sources, which means that your players are still DMing them.

• 11:25Speaker 08

  Ah, I told you that I don't know what DMing means. Anyway, listen.

• 11:33Speaker 08

  Paige, come on. Deep breath, okay? I will reiterate our media policy at the next team practice.

• 11:39Speaker 07

  Thank you. Also, I had some thoughts about some of the guys' socials, but I don't want to overstep.

• 11:45Speaker 08

  No, no, no, no. I think it's a great idea. I'm sure that the guys would appreciate your advice.

• 11:49Speaker 07

  Thank you, babe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

• 11:52Pablo Torre?

  She's got Palpatine hands.

• 11:54Speaker 05

  Yo. Yo. Less of that would be fine by me.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Millions of followers, that's nice.

• 12:01Speaker 05

  It is nice.

• 12:02Pablo Torre?

  We're gonna round up.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  To the nearest million.

• 12:05Pablo Torre?

  We're just gonna round up.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  To any million.

• 12:07Speaker 05

  As the white here, is it, is it kind of [bleep] up they appropriated your Asian-ness for the victim?

• 12:14Pablo Torre?

  I'm glad you specifically said that. I think they did this as a chess move.

• 12:19Speaker 05

  Right. Do we ever see the podcasters? I guess is my question. I bet they're like

• 12:23Pablo Torre?

  I was gonna say.

• 12:24Speaker 05

  disembodied voices.

• 12:25Pablo Torre?

  They, they sound white.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  Uh, wait, are we gonna see, are we gonna watch more of this?

• 12:28Pablo Torre?

  We are gonna watch more of this because the face that Michael has pointed to here.

• 12:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:34Pablo Torre?

  This is a character, Michael, that I need you to come clean on.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm gonna tell you the God's honest truth. I auditioned, I'm pretty sure, I mean, I haven't heard this character talk yet.

• 12:42Speaker 05

  Crazy.

• 12:43Speaker 04

  But I'm pretty sure I auditioned to play this character.

• 12:45Speaker 05

  Crazy. Now, can I ask, as somebody who's never read for a part, what you mean by you think you were gonna be?

• 12:51Pablo Torre?

  Right.

• 12:52Speaker 04

  I'm not positive, I haven't seen this guy talk yet, so, but if that's the AD.

• 12:55Speaker 05

  Oh, if he's the AD, okay, okay, okay.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  I auditioned to play this role, I'm pretty sure.

• 12:58Pablo Torre?

  So, we need to establish some things for people who did not watch all of the episodes we've done this year.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:03Speaker 05

  And what the hell's your problem, first of all?

• 13:05Speaker 04

  Who would that be?

• 13:06Speaker 05

  What in the F is going on with you?

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Who am I, excuse me, who among us has not watched every episode? And listen, I'll do a watch, and then I go back and I listen to see if there's anything that plays better auditorily.

• 13:18Pablo Torre?

  On point five, on point five X.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  On point, listen, on point five X, that's right.

• 13:22Pablo Torre?

  You get bonus points, you get retention bonus points if it's slower. Michael is an actor.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, kind of.

• 13:29Speaker 05

  I know that part, I know that part. No, and don't do that, cuz he's actually a very good actor.

• 13:32Pablo Torre?

  He's appeared.

• 13:33Speaker 05

  He's an incredible actor.

• 13:34Pablo Torre?

  He's a real.

• 13:35Speaker 05

  Half of his face was in Severance.

• 13:37Pablo Torre?

  Yup, who can forget that?

• 13:38Speaker 04

  Hang on, my whole face, but only for half a second.

• 13:41Speaker 05

  And then the rest of it was just your voice, but blocked by the main character's head, which I said could be that you're the main character.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  I might be the star of Severance for all we know.

• 13:48Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 13:49Speaker 04

  I mean, who knows?

• 13:50Speaker 05

  We don't know, twists are coming, so probably.

• 13:51Pablo Torre?

  He was in a cable news hit on Severance.

• 13:55Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 13:55Pablo Torre?

  Arguing about the Severance procedure.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  That's right, yeah, tell him.

• 14:00Speaker 05

  He also had a line that got cut from Succession.

• 14:05Speaker 04

  That's right, and I believe that line was, and I don't know if we have time for the whole line, but I believe it was, "Hey, Captain," and that was cut.

• 14:11Speaker 05

  Great.

• 14:12Speaker 04

  So that's, that's, and you've kinda got my whole acting career kind of encapsulated in that.

• 14:16Pablo Torre?

  You got a script for this audition, but you haven't seen the thing that they wound up making.

• 14:20Speaker 04

  I haven't seen the thing, but I mean, when I got it, I was immediately like, oh my god.

• 14:22Speaker 05

  Well, if he watched everything that didn't, that was a part he didn't get, he'd be busy all day, you know what I'm saying?

• 14:26Speaker 04

  What the fuck, dude, what the fuck? Why am I high-fiving you?

• 14:31Speaker 05

  I don't know, I don't know, but thanks.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  I got the script and immediately I was like, oh, this is like vaguely about me. Very vaguely.

• 14:38Pablo Torre?

  I was gonna say, so...

• 14:39Speaker 05

  Is this play about us?

• 14:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, totally. So I haven't seen that show, but.

• 14:45Speaker 05

  You haven't?

• 14:46Speaker 04

  No.

• 14:46Speaker 05

  Did you audition?

• 14:47Speaker 04

  No.

• 14:48Speaker 05

  Oh, damn.

• 14:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was supposed to be the, is it, am I saying it right? Zendaya?

• 14:51Speaker 05

  Perfect.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  That was my part.

• 14:53Pablo Torre?

  I would like you to turn to your cellular telephone.

• 14:56Speaker 05

  Who? Just him?

• 14:57Pablo Torre?

  Just Michael.

• 14:58Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 14:59Pablo Torre?

  Because we have texted you an opportunity.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  Okay, these, I believe, now are these lines actually in the show?

• 15:06Pablo Torre?

  Well, I need you to deliver them for our audience and for us, please.

• 15:11Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 15:11Pablo Torre?

  And then we can see what it's about.

• 15:13Speaker 04

  How did you get, how did you get this?

• 15:16Speaker 05

  Well, don't worry about that. We don't ask that question.

• 15:18Pablo Torre?

  What I do professionally.

• 15:19Speaker 05

  Right, he finds out.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  I just wanted to be clear that I did not send you this script.

• 15:22Pablo Torre?

  Correct.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  So you got it through your own thing.

• 15:24Pablo Torre?

  You clearly just got texted.

• 15:25Speaker 05

  That's smart. That is smart. You could have put him in a pretty bad spot.

• 15:28Speaker 04

  I didn't send it to you.

• 15:28Speaker 05

  Look at us, dude.

• 15:29Speaker 04

  Somebody did.

• 15:30Speaker 05

  Excuse me.

• 15:31Speaker 04

  You want me to read these lines?

• 15:32Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, you're, you're auditioning for the role of, uh, of Dave, who is the general manager.

• 15:39Speaker 05

  Oh, GM.

• 15:40Pablo Torre?

  St. Ivan's University.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  Okay, here we go.

• 15:46Speaker 04

  You have turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser. Posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials? You have single-handedly destroyed a great man's legacy. The best thing you could do is lose his number, but I can't make you do that. So I'm doing the only thing I can do. Banning you from the premises.

• 16:10Speaker 05

  It is about us.

• 16:11Pablo Torre?

  Just like the necklace.

• 16:12Speaker 05

  The play is about us.

• 16:12Pablo Torre?

  Just like the necklace.

• 16:14Speaker 05

  Throw more stuff.

• 16:15Pablo Torre?

  You crushed that.

• 16:16Speaker 05

  That was good. I would have given you the part. I don't know what the [bleep].

• 16:19Speaker 04

  Let's see, I want another shake. It didn't feel great.

• 16:20Pablo Torre?

  Here's what it looked like on CBS. You turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials. You've single-handedly destroyed a great man's legacy. The best thing you could do would be to lose his number.

• 16:37Speaker 09

  I can't make you do that. So I'm doing the one thing I can do. I'm banning you from the premises.

• 16:44Speaker 05

  Now, he's doing a lot.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  He did it different. He did it different, and I love it. I love it.

• 16:49Pablo Torre?

  That character, who is inspired by Mike Lombardi, another character we have reported on on this show.

• 16:53Speaker 05

  And thank you for doing that. Have I told you that in person yet?

• 16:57Pablo Torre?

  You haven't.

• 16:57Speaker 05

  Thank you for that episode, because... There's a lot in that episode. Yeah.

• 17:03Pablo Torre?

  He is, as that episode revealed, the person who communicated to others that Jordon Hudson was banned. And so when, uh, Michael Cruz Kane auditions for the role of Mike Lombardi.

• 17:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  That's what I'm channeling.

• 17:15Pablo Torre?

  Participating in the episode in which we report such things in this ongoing saga, it is also worth pointing out maybe that that character, um, I'm just making sure that this is correct. Spoiler alert, dies.

• 17:29Speaker 05

  Oh! You die?

• 17:31Speaker 04

  I don't, I mean, I didn't, I didn't, I only, I think I only got one scene.

• 17:34Pablo Torre?

  So the Belichick character kills the Lombardi character.

• 17:38Speaker 05

  Oh my god, that's so much better than what's happening in real life.

• 17:41Pablo Torre?

  I know.

• 17:41Speaker 05

  That's like so, such a juicier...

• 17:43Speaker 04

  It makes for a better episode of Elsabeth.

• 17:45Pablo Torre?

  The sequel to all of this, of course, is that in real life, uh, last month, Jordon Hudson, uh, said a couple of things to us.

• 17:52Speaker 05

  Just you mostly. It's really just you. It's kind of like the, the positive and negative of this is like, I'm in these clips, but I'm not really getting anything from it. Like, there's nobody's coming for me.

• 18:01Speaker 04

  We're mostly here to be like, "Oh, shit."

• 18:03Speaker 05

  Wowee!

• 18:04Speaker 04

  Holy shit!

• 18:06Speaker 05

  Whoa, you don't say!

• 18:07Speaker 04

  You specifically are responsible for some crazy shit now!

• 18:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:12Pablo Torre?

  We...

• 18:13Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 18:13Pablo Torre?

  We, as a show, as a show, as a family, we were named to the Apple Podcasts Top 10 List.

• 18:19Speaker 05

  Oh, that was us.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  That was, uh, we were on, my bad, we were on for that.

• 18:21Speaker 05

  That was we. That was we.

• 18:23Pablo Torre?

  Absolutely. And Jordon Hudson, on November 19th at 8:45 a.m., said, quote, "You're welcome," period.

• 18:30Speaker 05

  I mean.

• 18:31Pablo Torre?

  And we thank her for it.

• 18:32Speaker 05

  And thank you, I guess.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  She's not 100% wrong.

• 18:34Pablo Torre?

  She's a.

• 18:35Speaker 05

  Right, right, right.

• 18:35Pablo Torre?

  She fractionally, absolutely helped.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:39Pablo Torre?

  Jordon Hudson went on Instagram on November 23rd and posted a photo of her wearing the band necklace. And the caption is, just one of the great uses of Instagram ever.

• 18:50Speaker 05

  P.S. I'm suing you, hard hands.

• 18:51Pablo Torre?

  Yeah. P.S. I'm suing you, at P.S. Tori, hard hands.

• 18:54Speaker 05

  Hard hands.

• 18:55Pablo Torre?

  I checked with the University of North Carolina and they said that they are not involved with any of her

• 18:58Speaker 05

  Oh, this is real. Oh, you're doing real.

• 19:00Pablo Torre?

  I just gotta say that.

• 19:01Speaker 05

  Did she sue you?

• 19:02Pablo Torre?

  Oh, yeah. No.

• 19:03Speaker 05

  No, she didn't sue you.

• 19:04Pablo Torre?

  I haven't gotten a letter or anything.

• 19:06Speaker 04

  Maybe it's a new year thing. Maybe it's something for 20.

• 19:10Speaker 05

  I know I've been backed up trying to get presents and trying to pre-take for the. So she might be, it might be coming in Q1.

• 19:17Speaker 04

  I'm like, I mean to sue people, but then I'm like, I'm scrolling and scrolling.

• 19:20Speaker 05

  It's the scrolling.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  I'm way behind on lawsuits.

• 19:23Speaker 05

  But I will, I'm coming for you, just next year.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  Everyone I've threatened, it is happening.

• 19:28Speaker 05

  It's coming.

• 19:30Speaker 04

  And I say to that, hard hands.

• 19:31Speaker 05

  I'm gonna sue you.

• 19:32Speaker 04

  And a happy Christmas.

• 19:33Speaker 05

  I'm gonna sue you.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  I'm gonna sue you.

• 19:37Speaker 05

  I'm gonna sue you.

• 19:38Pablo Torre?

  Uh, um.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  I'm out of water. You know what that means.

• 19:42Speaker 05

  He's drunk.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  Your boy's getting wrecked.

• 19:51Pablo Torre?

  This message is brought to you by Apple Card. With Apple Card, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases like groceries or merch or tickets to the game. Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted. No matter your team, no matter where you shop, Apple Card is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank, USA, Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh. Anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade-in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Edition terms apply for all offers.

• 20:54Speaker 10

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• 21:32Pablo Torre?

  Well, we do have a thing that I want to promote because I do want people to know. I do want people to know.

• 21:40Speaker 05

  Wait, why is this happening? Because this was brought up before. They're like, "We're actually going to promote your podcast this time."

• 21:45Pablo Torre?

  Now you're spoiling it.

• 21:47Speaker 05

  Sorry.

• 21:48Pablo Torre?

  Rewind.

• 21:49Speaker 05

  Go back and do it again. I won't say anything.

• 21:50Pablo Torre?

  Kate? Kate. That's what we call her. Kate. Katie Nolan is on SiriusXM. She is the person that you listen to before Stephen A. Smith.

• 22:00Speaker 05

  That's so true.

• 22:01Pablo Torre?

  Which is a fact that I am so delighted by every time I think about it.

• 22:06Speaker 05

  And the lead in.

• 22:07Pablo Torre?

  Mad Dog Sports Radio.

• 22:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:09Pablo Torre?

  The show is called Fan Service. You do, I think, what you are meant on this earth to do.

• 22:15Speaker 05

  Hell, yeah.

• 22:16Pablo Torre?

  Which is field questions from almost-

• 22:20Speaker 04

  Always dudes?

• 22:21Speaker 05

  No, no, no. We have a lot of women that call. We have a lot of women that call.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  That's actually [BLEEP] up dude.

• 22:25Speaker 05

  That is [BLEEP] up dude. We have a lot of women. I also think it's mostly sports radio not doing a ton to outreach to women and make them feel comfortable calling.

• 22:35Pablo Torre?

  Katie is changing the demographics around who calls it. Is what I dare say.

• 22:41Speaker 05

  Yeah. I could just open the phone lines and make it like a hotline.

• 22:45Pablo Torre?

  It's really good.

• 22:46Speaker 05

  It's just, the goal is for it to be a hotline. People can call me and ask about any sport. There are some times where I go like, yo.

• 22:52Pablo Torre?

  What's the number they can call?

• 22:53Speaker 05

  888-MADDOG6. From noon to 1 Eastern, Monday through Friday.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  I'm doing this.

• 22:57Speaker 05

  I just, there's, there's dates, sometimes.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  I don't know, you're gonna do this in 2026?

• 23:01Speaker 05

  Sometimes they'll call about like rugby and I'm like, well, let me Google this. I don't know. I don't, not an expert in everything.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  When they call about rugby, they're asking, they're trying to get a take from you on the rugby?

• 23:09Speaker 05

  Sometimes, sometimes people will ask for very specific takes and I'm like, I don't have a take on this. I'm very honest. If I don't know the answer, I don't know the answer. But like, you know, an hour is kind of difficult to do. I'm not here monologuing every day about sports. So I'll give you my takes if I have some, but then I just open up the phone lines and basically just talk to people.

• 23:27Pablo Torre?

  It's a perfect vehicle for everything that you do.

• 23:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's fun. It's fun.

• 23:30Pablo Torre?

  It really is.

• 23:31Speaker 05

  Thanks. Why is this happening? Is this your gift to me?

• 23:33Pablo Torre?

  No.

• 23:34Speaker 04

  In lieu of payment.

• 23:35Pablo Torre?

  The gift is on the table.

• 23:35Speaker 05

  I'll promote your show.

• 23:36Pablo Torre?

  No, there's a gift on the table. That is your gift. This is not your gift. This is an excuse to segue to the fact that we also have a voicemail hotline.

• 23:43Speaker 05

  Ooh!

• 23:44Pablo Torre?

  513-85-PABLO. People call it. We haven't been.

• 23:47Speaker 05

  Minor live phone calls, but this is kind of the same thing. Keep going.

• 23:50Speaker 04

  It's the same. This is, this is better in some ways.

• 23:52Speaker 05

  I just want to be clear, minor live phone calls. Today someone said dildo on air and we didn't know what to do. We dumped it.

• 24:00Pablo Torre?

  Is that the policy?

• 24:01Speaker 04

  You dumped it?

• 24:01Speaker 05

  As soon as he was like, or a rubber dildo. It was like, bloop, hung up and there was nothing. I just had to go, well, that'll sit there.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Is there, there's no delay?

• 24:08Speaker 05

  There is, but it's serious. So you can curse.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Well, it's comedy too.

• 24:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, but it's that it's, you know, Mad Dog runs the station, so he likes to keep it family friendly.

• 24:17Pablo Torre?

  Mad Dog has a very anti dildo policy.

• 24:19Speaker 05

  He's very anti dildo.

• 24:20Speaker 04

  It's a dildo.

• 24:21Speaker 05

  Yours are voicemails, which are different.

• 24:22Speaker 04

  I can't keep it together, guys. I'm drunk.

• 24:24Speaker 05

  I know, me too.

• 24:25Pablo Torre?

  We've received almost, oh no, exactly, 499 voicemails this year.

• 24:31Speaker 05

  Can we go through them?

• 24:32Speaker 04

  It'd be funny if you said almost 499.

• 24:34Pablo Torre?

  Some of them, by the way. They're very kind and we appreciate them. For instance, uh, this one.

• 24:42Speaker 11

  Hey Pablo Torre, this is Tony P. The military member has called several times. I just wanted to call again to give you guys flowers. I continue to be both educated and inspired by the work that you and the team is doing there. Especially this last episode with the trans center. My child is trans and this one touched home a lot. So, thank you for doing this story. Anyways, appreciate what you guys do. Love all the things you guys do and fuck Nick Wright.

• 25:12Speaker 05

  Oh, my God. Okay.

• 25:13Pablo Torre?

  So, that guy, that guy, that guy's

• 25:14Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 25:15Pablo Torre?

  It's just a heartfelt message. Other voicemails are from people that you may have heard of if you pay attention to sports.

• 25:21Speaker 05

  If we're gonna get to Jordan giving up voicemail.

• 25:24Speaker 12

  Hey Pablo, this is Tim Donaghy. Was wondering if you had a couple of minutes to speak to me. My number's 9****6. Thank you.

• 25:36Pablo Torre?

  It does appear to be the real Tim Donaghy, the disgraced NBA referee at the center of one of the largest scandals in sports history.

• 25:42Speaker 05

  Calling your voicemail?

• 25:43Pablo Torre?

  I do owe him a call back.

• 25:45Speaker 05

  You should call him back.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  You bet you do.

• 25:48Speaker 05

  Okay, it's not a tip line, guys.

• 25:51Pablo Torre?

  No, it is. It is a tip line, but also you can submit questions. And we get questions from regulars at this point. For instance, there's a guy, and I just want to make this clear. We did not invent this character. He's a real guy. His name is Cletus. He is from Navarre.

• 26:06Speaker 05

  Fox, oh.

• 26:07Pablo Torre?

  What?

• 26:07Speaker 05

  I was gonna say the Fox football robot is named Cletus.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  I just realized that it's like Cletus.

• 26:13Speaker 05

  Cletus, yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 26:14Speaker 05

  You're welcome.

• 26:15Speaker 04

  Back to you.

• 26:16Speaker 05

  Pablo Torre found out.

• 26:17Speaker 04

  And we're back to Pablo with sports.

• 26:19Pablo Torre?

  Cletus, the human and not the

• 26:22Speaker 05

  Giant robot.

• 26:22Pablo Torre?

  Superimposed giant, uh, Fox robot.

• 26:25Speaker 05

  No, he's real, so chill out.

• 26:27Pablo Torre?

  This one is from Navarre, Florida.

• 26:29Speaker 13

  Hey Pablo, uh, Cletus in Navarre, Florida. Uh, I've got a question. Maybe you can find out. Um, all these, uh, body spray commercials on the TV. I was just wondering, when did women start stinking? Uh, maybe you can find that out. It's a conspiracy.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  Uh, did I understand the question?

• 26:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:49Pablo Torre?

  I think Cletus has a really good perspective we should consider.

• 26:52Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 26:53Pablo Torre?

  He's saying, if you listen to it.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, I did.

• 26:55Speaker 05

  Which we have did.

• 26:56Pablo Torre?

  Cletus is, uh, play it again.

• 26:58Speaker 13

  Um, all these, uh, body spray commercials on the TV. I was just wondering, when did women start to stinking? Uh, maybe you can find that out. It's a conspiracy.

• 27:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, we heard it. When did women start to stinking? Maybe you can find that out.

• 27:15Pablo Torre?

  I think he's saying, when did this problem emerge? Because he has not experienced

• 27:21Speaker 05

  Right.

• 27:21Pablo Torre?

  the issue.

• 27:22Speaker 04

  Cletus asking kind of an enlightened question.

• 27:23Pablo Torre?

  I think Cletus is super woke.

• 27:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think Cletus is like, ladies, you smell just fine to me. Go ahead and sit on my face without any insecurity.

• 27:31Speaker 04

  Well.

• 27:32Pablo Torre?

  Why is society telling all of you ladies

• 27:34Speaker 05

  That we stink. Yeah, it's fair.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  But everybody's been stink. Just in case the question is just a, just the question. We've all been stinking forever.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  We've all been stinking forever.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  Am I shouting?

• 27:44Speaker 05

  No.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 27:45Speaker 05

  No, why?

• 27:46Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 27:47Speaker 05

  No.

• 27:48Speaker 04

  I'm wasted.

• 27:49Speaker 05

  Yeah. That is. We have more?

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, we played. I'd like to hear more from Cletus.

• 27:55Pablo Torre?

  Hold on.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  I'd like to get Cletus on the line, please.

• 27:57Speaker 05

  Call him up.

• 27:57Pablo Torre?

  All right. Hold on, let's see if we can do that.

• 27:59Speaker 05

  Wait, what? That's all you have? I'd like a million dollars, please?

• 28:02Pablo Torre?

  Area code 334, that's the one.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  He's calling Cletus. I didn't agree to this.

• 28:07Speaker 04

  He didn't have to really call. I was just talking.

• 28:09Speaker 05

  We're doing this for?

• 28:13Speaker 04

  What are we gonna do when we get him?

• 28:15Speaker 05

  Pablo's gonna take it.

• 28:17Pablo Torre?

  If he doesn't answer, we're gonna leave a voicemail.

• 28:19Speaker 14

  At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, simply hang up or press pound for further options.

• 28:28Pablo Torre?

  Hey, Cletus, it's Pablo, uh, from Pablo Torre Finds Out.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Cletus!

• 28:31Pablo Torre?

  Thank you so much for calling us so many times this year. You've called us

• 28:34Speaker 05

  So many.

• 28:35Pablo Torre?

  eight times. You asked us about, uh, lots of things. Uh, you asked us about what happened to Tom Hanks in Castaway. Um, I don't have the answer for that.

• 28:42Speaker 05

  He got stuck on an island.

• 28:43Pablo Torre?

  Okay.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  No, he got out.

• 28:44Pablo Torre?

  Katie Nolan has an answer for when did women start to stinking?

• 28:47Speaker 05

  No, I don't. No, I don't. I don't know the answer. Um, but I just wanted to say I love your work as a robot in football.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  This is now a podcast for one guy.

• 28:57Speaker 05

  I know.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  This is a podcast for Cletus. This is the Cletus episode now.

• 29:01Speaker 05

  We love you, Cletus.

• 29:02Speaker 04

  We love you, Cletus.

• 29:03Speaker 05

  Happy holidays, happy new year.

• 29:04Pablo Torre?

  Merry Christmas, Cletus.

• 29:06Speaker 05

  It's the year of the fire dragon, 2026.

• 29:08Pablo Torre?

  What is it? What?

• 29:09Speaker 05

  That's what I heard.

• 29:10Pablo Torre?

  And sent.

• 29:12Speaker 05

  Nice. Okay. Well, that sucked.

• 29:14Pablo Torre?

  Maybe he'll call us back. We have another voicemail, I am told.

• 29:17Speaker 05

  Nice.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  Oh, my god.

• 29:19Pablo Torre?

  500th voicemail to our detective agency hotline, 513-85-PABLO.

• 29:23Speaker 15

  Hey Pablo, it's Andrew Streeter. I just wanted to send a little Christmas cheer your way with a new little ditty just for you. Hope you enjoy it. Happy holidays, pal.

• 29:36Speaker 06

  Pablo Torre just dropped a nuke. This is an explosive report from Pablo Torre.

• 29:41Speaker 16

  Pablo Torre, who is a sports Batman. Pablo Torre is the 50th cent of journalism. Pablo Torre is like a different type of animal.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  And I hope that boy Pablo Torre got some good security, because he getting too close to open a Pandora's box, bro.

• 29:55Pablo Torre?

  I am Pablo Torre, and today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

• 29:59Speaker 17

  Share and tell. Kawhi's not planting trees. Bird watching and athlete branded weed. Riley Gaines is grifting hard. Belichick's hot like smelling salts and gooning. Are the things we're finding out with Pablo Torre.

• 30:37Speaker 17

  Find out with Pablo Torre.

• 30:47Speaker 16

  Pablo Torre, the greatest sports journalist in the world.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  That was exhilarating.

• 30:51Speaker 05

  It was good. Was that Jeremy that did that song? Who did that song? Who made that song for you?

• 30:55Pablo Torre?

  That is Andrew Streeter.

• 30:57Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 30:58Pablo Torre?

  Who is, who is a prolific song maker. Uh, he's made songs for Dance Show. Bless you. I like that you directionally sneezed into my cup.

• 31:08Speaker 05

  I don't think that this episode has started, so I'm, I'm getting a little concerned.

• 31:11Speaker 04

  We're almost ready. We're warming up. Okay, starting the episode in three.

• 31:20Pablo Torre?

  So, one thing that I do want to explain from the song that we played is that I have been called by Fred Tucher, the 50 Cent of journalism.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  I know that voice. That's Boston sports radio.

• 31:32Pablo Torre?

  Hold on, I'm being told we have one more voicemail.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 31:35Speaker 16

  So Pablo Torre is the 50 Cent of journalism.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 31:40Speaker 16

  Pablo.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  New York City!

• 31:42Speaker 16

  Anything you need from me, baby.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  You gotta love it.

• 31:44Pablo Torre?

  Oh!

• 31:45Speaker 16

  We're all here for you. We got your back. You reach out.

• 31:48Pablo Torre?

  So, here's the thing.

• 31:50Speaker 18

  Are you smarter than an NFL QB? What do you know about the world of bird watching? Cologne and perfumes by celebrities? Or Bill Belichick's Airbnb? Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  Whoa!

• 32:08Speaker 18

  You can't hide the truth from me.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Girl!

• 32:12Speaker 18

  You might as well tell me now.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  Woo!

• 32:14Speaker 18

  As Pablo Torre finds out.

• 32:16Pablo Torre?

  Oh!

• 32:17Speaker 18

  No doubt. You can't hide the truth from me. Is Giannis missing free throws for free chicken?

• 32:23Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 32:23Speaker 18

  Is our next president an alien? And Russell Wilson?

• 32:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 32:26Pablo Torre?

  Pause it! Cletus is calling!

• 32:28Speaker 01

  Whoa!

• 32:30Pablo Torre?

  I'm so sorry, Andrew Streeter, hold on.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  There's too much happening at [BLEEP].

• 32:32Pablo Torre?

  Hold on, hold on. This episode is so loose. Hey, Cletus, can you, can you hear me?

• 32:39Speaker 19

  Is this Pablo Torre?

• 32:40Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 32:42Speaker 16

  Cletus!

• 32:43Pablo Torre?

  Cletus, you're here with me and Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kane. We're taping our year-end Christmas spectacular.

• 32:50Speaker 19

  Oh wow.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Oh wow, he says.

• 32:52Pablo Torre?

  Uh, what are you doing right now?

• 32:55Speaker 19

  I'm just driving around on the Panhandle of Florida, man, slinging grease.

• 32:59Speaker 01

  Hell yeah.

• 33:00Pablo Torre?

  Slinging grease? Can you explain a little bit more what that, what that means? Because I'm from New York City and I've never slung a single grease intentionally.

• 33:08Speaker 19

  Well, I work for a company where we recycle used cooking oil from restaurants, hotels, whatever. I'm big into recycling and so, uh, I go around and I give away free containers to restaurants and we take all their oil instead of it going into a landfill. And, uh, we make it into diesel fuel that's even worse for the environment.

• 33:36Speaker 19

  Pablo, you have no idea, like, you missed my birthday today.

• 33:39Speaker 05

  What?

• 33:40Pablo Torre?

  Cletus!

• 33:42Speaker 19

  Oh!

• 33:43Pablo Torre?

  Cletus!

• 33:46Speaker 19

  One time, I sent you a message, Pablo, so my daughter is married to her high school sweetheart, and he's Filipino.

• 33:54Speaker 05

  What?

• 33:55Pablo Torre?

  Cletus!

• 33:56Speaker 19

  I really like you, and I tried to get you to, well, I was gonna try to get you to officiate their wedding after you did Dan Lebatard's.

• 34:05Pablo Torre?

  Oh, yeah.

• 34:06Speaker 19

  My daughter shut that down.

• 34:08Speaker 05

  Oh, man! That's so funny.

• 34:10Speaker 19

  Yeah, I was like...

• 34:11Speaker 05

  She said, "Who?"

• 34:11Speaker 19

  We can have all kinds of, because we had a Filipino spread. Filipino food's my favorite food now.

• 34:19Speaker 05

  Hell, yeah, Cletus.

• 34:20Pablo Torre?

  Cletus, hold on, hold on.

• 34:21Speaker 19

  I'm sorry.

• 34:23Pablo Torre?

  No, no, no, no. You should, you should know, I am only interrupting you to know that Filipino food, like you professionally, loves to sling grease.

• 34:33Speaker 19

  Absolutely. I know.

• 34:35Pablo Torre?

  Let's on!

• 34:37Speaker 19

  I mean, I'm a fanboy, dude, y'all called the worst person if you didn't want adulation. Because I am like, Katie Nolan, I wish I was there that night with y'all smoking bowls, man. Oh, my God!

• 34:50Speaker 05

  Hell, yeah, Cletus!

• 34:52Speaker 19

  I mean, I love New York, that's my town, because when I go up there, everybody hears my accent, and they wanna sell me bridges and stuff. Like, they wanna lead me down dark alleys and sell me fake Versace stuff.

• 35:07Pablo Torre?

  Fake leather jackets.

• 35:08Speaker 05

  Out of the trunk of their car.

• 35:09Pablo Torre?

  Out of the trunk of cars.

• 35:11Speaker 19

  I'm, I'm real big on Canal Street, I ain't gonna lie to you.

• 35:14Speaker 05

  Nice. Hell, yeah, Cletus?

• 35:16Pablo Torre?

  Cletus, um, I will, I presume your daughter's already been married, but if you ever have another wedding for me to officiate, I will use the powers vested in me by the Universal Life Church to absolutely do that.

• 35:31Speaker 19

  Oh, my God, well, my other daughter, she's, she's engaged to a white boy, he's really white.

• 35:37Pablo Torre?

  Oh.

• 35:37Speaker 19

  I know, he's so, his name is Sterling.

• 35:40Speaker 05

  Oh, my God!

• 35:41Pablo Torre?

  Whoa!

• 35:43Speaker 19

  And he doesn't like, he doesn't... Like lagoons.

• 35:46Speaker 05

  He doesn't like lagoons.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Lagoons.

• 35:50Speaker 05

  What's wrong with him?

• 35:51Speaker 19

  It's kind of a breaking point with me too, cause being southern, I was poor growing up and every day we came home to a pot of beans and some cheap meat.

• 36:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 19

  So, that's like comfort food to me, you know, and I'm like, dude, if you ask for my daughter's hand in marriage, I'm gonna make you eat some beans.

• 36:09Speaker 05

  Legumes, okay, okay, that's where I made the mistake. I thought you said lagoons.

• 36:14Speaker 19

  Legumes, I.

• 36:15Speaker 05

  Legumes, I get it now. Beans.

• 36:17Speaker 01

  Beans.

• 36:18Speaker 05

  Beans, beans, beans. Yeah.

• 36:19Speaker 19

  Yep, Katie, so I'm a big feminist. I know that sounds weird, someone, a man that talks like I did being in the south, but I did raise two daughters that are very important to me and my family in any way. I've noticed on the TV in the last year that they don't talk about men stinking, but women all of a sudden stink. I don't know no women that stink, and so I really am offended. I'm offended by it, like, you know, it's just, it's like, why, I mean, cause I know a whole lot more dudes that smell.

• 36:54Speaker 05

  Same.

• 36:55Pablo Torre?

  You know what, you know what I'm realizing, you know what I'm finding out here? Cletus does sling grease.

• 36:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 37:00Pablo Torre?

  But he himself is also pretty slick.

• 37:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's really good, Pablo.

• 37:04Speaker 19

  If any of y'all ever get to the Florida Panhandle, please keep my number. I live on, I live on the bar beach. Man, we'll have a good downtown.

• 37:13Speaker 05

  Hell, yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 19

  And I'm not a, I'm not a weirdo. I got a wife and thirty years and like, y'all don't have to stay with me, but if y'all ever get down there, let me cook you some lunch or take you out to some of these places.

• 37:25Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  We're getting beans with Cletus.

• 37:26Speaker 05

  A hundred percent, Cletus, I'll eat beans with you all day.

• 37:29Speaker 19

  We got a Filipino restaurant down here.

• 37:31Pablo Torre?

  What?

• 37:32Speaker 19

  Pablo, you gotta try.

• 37:33Pablo Torre?

  All right.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  We're hitting it up.

• 37:35Pablo Torre?

  At the risk, at the risk of booking a flight. Within the next hour, in 2026, Cletus, I have a feeling that you and I will talk again.

• 37:45Speaker 19

  I hope so. And I'll tell you, I can really hear you smile through when you talk.

• 37:49Speaker 05

  Aww.

• 37:50Speaker 19

  I can tell you're a happy person.

• 37:51Speaker 05

  Aww.

• 37:52Speaker 19

  You're always smiling when you're talking.

• 37:54Speaker 05

  Aww.

• 37:54Speaker 19

  That's why, that's why you're gonna win that Peabody Award one day.

• 37:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, someday, Pablo.

• 37:59Pablo Torre?

  Cletus, you know what?

• 38:00Speaker 05

  We love you, Cletus.

• 38:01Pablo Torre?

  Pretty much the highlight of the entire day is us talking to you, Cletus. Welcome to the larger Filipino family.

• 38:08Speaker 19

  Oh, I got Penoi pride, man.

• 38:10Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 38:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, dude. Oh, my God.

• 38:12Pablo Torre?

  Cletus, we, uh, we really appreciate you calling us back. This is, uh,

• 38:17Speaker 05

  A treat.

• 38:18Pablo Torre?

  Almost, almost more than we could ever have dreamed for.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  Drive safely.

• 38:21Pablo Torre?

  Yes.

• 38:22Speaker 19

  You made my day.

• 38:23Speaker 05

  Yay.

• 38:24Speaker 19

  I don't know how many days you'll make, but I'm about to cry. You made my day so much, man.

• 38:29Pablo Torre?

  Cletus, you're gonna make us cry, man. Cletus, um, I cannot thank you enough. I want to inform you that I've officially now in the last minute deputized you as our Florida Panhandle correspondent.

• 38:44Speaker 05

  Nice.

• 38:44Speaker 19

  That's cool.

• 38:45Pablo Torre?

  Which is, much like the jobs that Michael and Katie have.

• 38:47Speaker 05

  Unpaid.

• 38:48Pablo Torre?

  Entirely unpaid.

• 38:49Speaker 05

  Unpaid work.

• 38:50Pablo Torre?

  As they say in our culture, salamat.

• 38:54Speaker 19

  Um, marapaka.

• 38:56Pablo Torre?

  Oh, shit.

• 38:58Speaker 05

  Bye, Cletus.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  Bye, Cletus.

• 39:00Pablo Torre?

  Bye, Cletus. Happy birthday.

• 39:01Speaker 05

  Happy birthday. Now, Pablo, if I could give you a note, you're bad at getting off.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're on too long with Cletus. I can't. I just [BLEEP]. The guys had to be in your ear like, get out of here.

• 39:10Speaker 05

  This would not be for you because you have to, we'd be the hour-long show.

• 39:15Pablo Torre?

  He kept on giving me compliments.

• 39:16Speaker 05

  Cletus was perfect. You just need to know.

• 39:18Speaker 04

  It's totally on you.

• 39:20Pablo Torre?

  You gotta get off. I think he actually had more to say about why I'm good.

• 39:26Speaker 05

  They said, we said goodbye, like, we gave you, like, six moments.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  You were gonna have, you were gonna pass the phone around. Should I, that door had been open, you would have passed it to everybody in there too.

• 39:35Pablo Torre?

  I think I'm gonna call him back again, though.

• 39:36Speaker 05

  No, please, no, please, no. At least he has your personal phone number now.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone. And I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh. Anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade-in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.

• 40:20Speaker 20

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone. And including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage, HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 40:50Speaker 21

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• 41:29Pablo Torre?

  There wasn't a tree on the table, which was embarrassing for us.

• 41:33Speaker 05

  Right.

• 41:34Pablo Torre?

  What you should know, though, is that when we did our first Aspiration Clippers investigation, it ended with a scene in which we planted a tree. The story of this, if you did not watch that episode, you really should.

• 41:47Speaker 05

  I guess I didn't. I thought I did.

• 41:49Pablo Torre?

  So the big crescendo of the episode was in reference to the fact that Robert Downey Jr. was an Aspiration endorser. That being, of course, the guy who played Iron Man in, you know, the Marvel movies. We decided to do the thing that Kawhi Leonard and the Clippers did not do, which was actually plant a tree. Kawhi Leonard, a fellow endorser of aspiration, who had a no-show job, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NBA investigation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So we planted a real tree in front of the Intuit Dome that is Iron Man, watering it. And the bad news is that someone ripped the tree out of the ground.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  My goodness.

• 42:25Speaker 05

  No, wait, what?

• 42:25Speaker 04

  My goodness gracious.

• 42:27Speaker 05

  Who does that? I thought you were gonna show us evidence of that.

• 42:29Speaker 04

  Whomst among us?

• 42:30Speaker 05

  Jordan?

• 42:31Pablo Torre?

  The tree is gone.

• 42:32Speaker 05

  But the fire remains.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  The fire remains. That famous saying, "The tree is gone, but the fire remains."

• 42:38Pablo Torre?

  Also, we, uh, we found a replacement.

• 42:44Speaker 05

  Oh, my God. Who are you paying to be Iron Man?

• 42:47Pablo Torre?

  So, Iron Man is a confidential source.

• 42:49Speaker 04

  Robert Downey III.

• 42:50Pablo Torre?

  Robert Downey III, outside the Intuit Dome, this week, planting in the empty grave of our old tree.

• 42:59Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  They tried to bury us, but they did not know that we were seized.

• 43:03Speaker 05

  Do they need to be watered like that?

• 43:06Pablo Torre?

  We're not quite sure.

• 43:07Speaker 05

  Right.

• 43:07Pablo Torre?

  But it's now, you know, it's LA.

• 43:08Speaker 05

  Aciduous.

• 43:09Pablo Torre?

  It's LA.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  You would think Iron Man would have something in the suit that would do the watering.

• 43:13Speaker 05

  He's gonna put lights on it.

• 43:14Pablo Torre?

  Yes, so, you know, for carbon footprint reasons, we're not gonna plug these in, but there are lights to begin to decorate them. I want everybody to know that we encourage you here to go and decorate the tree.

• 43:27Speaker 05

  At the Intuit Dome?

• 43:29Pablo Torre?

  At the Intuit Dome, we're gonna provide the GPS coordinates. It is thirty-three, what is that punctuation mark?

• 43:35Speaker 04

  Degrees?

• 43:35Speaker 05

  Degrees.

• 43:36Pablo Torre?

  Thirty-three degrees, fifty-six.

• 43:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, me neither. Why are you reading this?

• 43:38Pablo Torre?

  Apostrophe, thirty-six point five, quotation mark, north.

• 43:42Speaker 05

  Perfect.

• 43:42Pablo Torre?

  Hundred eighteen, uh, degree, twenty, apostrophe, thirty-eight point seven, quotation mark.

• 43:48Pablo Torre?

  W for West.

• 43:49Speaker 05

  Perfect.

• 43:50Pablo Torre?

  So we encourage you to go and do that.

• 43:51Speaker 05

  First podcast to ever read out loud the GPS coordinates.

• 43:56Pablo Torre?

  Michael.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:57Pablo Torre?

  We'd like you to open your gift first.

• 43:59Speaker 05

  Great.

• 43:59Speaker 04

  Which one's mine?

• 43:59Pablo Torre?

  It's the one on the top.

• 44:00Speaker 05

  The little one.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 44:02Speaker 05

  With the same ribbon that I believe was used for when we unboxed the Jordan.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  The Tiffany.

• 44:07Pablo Torre?

  That's just a total coincidence. Can you describe what you're opening?

• 44:10Speaker 04

  The mixed-race guy gets a much smaller gift.

• 44:12Speaker 05

  It's small. Oh my god, what the [bleep] is that?

• 44:14Speaker 04

  This is a hamburger.

• 44:16Speaker 05

  Oh my god.

• 44:17Speaker 04

  This is a hamburger.

• 44:18Speaker 05

  Oh, [bleep].

• 44:19Speaker 04

  That's been sitting in this.

• 44:20Speaker 05

  How long has that been in there?

• 44:21Speaker 04

  What time did I get here? How mu- how long?

• 44:24Pablo Torre?

  We've been taping for probably a little too long for this to totally be, uh, paid off with you eating it, but...

• 44:29Speaker 04

  I can't believe how much it smells like a hamburger in here.

• 44:32Speaker 05

  Same. Can you-

• 44:33Speaker 04

  But it didn't smell like one in here.

• 44:34Speaker 05

  Can you rotate it so I can guess who made it before you eat it? Can you, can you pop it open, maybe?

• 44:39Speaker 04

  I'm not, I'm not doing that.

• 44:40Speaker 05

  It's not Shake Shack.

• 44:41Speaker 04

  You can do it if you want.

• 44:42Pablo Torre?

  It's totally edible. It's, I mean, we just got it.

• 44:44Speaker 05

  We just got it, guys. That is a-

• 44:46Speaker 04

  It has, it has, uh, the density of the burger is, you would, it defies all logic. If you held this, you'd be like, it's crazy how heavy this is.

• 44:54Speaker 05

  Are you gonna eat it? Cause then you don't, okay, I don't have to slap it in my hand like that.

• 44:57Speaker 04

  But doesn't it feel like you're holding a, uh, an obelisk?

• 44:59Pablo Torre?

  Let me see that.

• 45:00Speaker 04

  A space rock?

• 45:02Speaker 05

  Oh my god!

• 45:05Speaker 04

  You think it's a nude Shake Shack burger?

• 45:07Pablo Torre?

  Yeah, now, now we've gone too far? This, this is the line?

• 45:11Speaker 05

  It's crazy that old gum freaked you out in a wrapped up, old-ass burger.

• 45:16Speaker 04

  That we handled around the table.

• 45:17Speaker 05

  There's an onion on your thigh!

• 45:20Pablo Torre?

  It's just like, relatively new.

• 45:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:22Speaker 05

  From whence? No.

• 45:25Pablo Torre?

  I'm just saying it's actually good. Katie, it's time for you to open your gift.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Woo-hoo!

• 45:30Speaker 05

  Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Gimme, whoa, heavy.

• 45:34Speaker 04

  Gimme, gimme gift.

• 45:36Speaker 05

  Oh my god, is this gonna be an Omnicord? Cause that's what it feels like. That's exactly what it feels like! Is this actually just for you to have and I'm just gonna... What the [bleep]? Mine costs so much more than yours, which is crazy. Yours was a burger and Pablo's eating it. Mine is an Omnicord!

• 45:57Pablo Torre?

  The optics of [bleep] eating Michael's gift are not great.

• 46:00Speaker 05

  Yes, it's not good!

• 46:01Pablo Torre?

  There is onion now on the microphone.

• 46:02Speaker 05

  Ew. Wait.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  You have to burn that microphone.

• 46:05Speaker 05

  This has to be for you, Pablo. And I'm just holding it as for the show. And then when the show's over.

• 46:10Pablo Torre?

  There's a strap.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Wait, you bought her an Omnicord? It's like a thousand million dollars.

• 46:14Speaker 05

  That's crazy. Why would you do that? I mean, you do owe me.

• 46:17Pablo Torre?

  I was gonna say.

• 46:18Speaker 05

  If I had an option, I think I would have taken the cash.

• 46:22Speaker 05

  This, I gotta learn how to do.

• 46:23Speaker 04

  You need to get the cash and retire. They're so expensive.

• 46:25Pablo Torre?

  The bad news is, you can't take the cash. The good news is, there is a stunningly vibrant Omnicord secondary resale market.

• 46:34Speaker 05

  Hell, yeah.

• 46:34Pablo Torre?

  But until then.

• 46:35Speaker 05

  This is so nice.

• 46:36Pablo Torre?

  Until then.

• 46:37Speaker 05

  Who actually bought it? Who actually did it?

• 46:39Pablo Torre?

  Unfortunately, it was...

• 46:41Speaker 05

  You?

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Keith Oberman. That's somebody.

• 46:44Speaker 05

  Jesus Christ.

• 46:46Pablo Torre?

  We have reached the end of the show, and there's only one way to end our year. It's with me holding a burger and Katie Nolan holding her Omnicord.

• 46:54Speaker 05

  To fix you.

• 46:55Pablo Torre?

  And Michael Cruz Kane also holding his Omnicord. Michael, where's your Omnicord?

• 47:01Speaker 04

  At Pablo's request, I brought my Omnicord.

• 47:06Pablo Torre?

  Oh, good soundtrack for the unzipping of Michael's Omnicord.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  And then if you want to make your thing stop making sound, you got it.

• 47:13Speaker 05

  That's the button I always remember.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  And then, and then just in here, you know, when you're in the chord.

• 47:18Speaker 05

  Great. And then we're saying, "M is what?" What are we saying is? Stop. "E M with a star is what?" What's the star?

• 47:29Speaker 04

  I don't know what the star is, honestly.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  Be home.

• 47:32Speaker 04

  Maybe it's diminished, but we don't have that here, so.

• 47:34Speaker 05

  Home for Christmas.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  Oh, shit. You got it.

• 47:42Speaker 05

  You can count on.

• 47:51Pablo Torre?

  Guys, our sound... Oh, this is...

• 47:53Speaker 05

  Please have snow.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  And mistletoe.

• 48:02Speaker 05

  And presents under the tree.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  Christmas Eve will find me.

• 48:20Pablo Torre?

  You got it dude.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Where the love like glues.

• 48:33Speaker 01

  I'll be home for Christmas.

• 48:41Pablo Torre?

  Something bad's out.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  Oh, it's me. What is it wrong?

• 48:43Pablo Torre?

  A7.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  If only in my dreams. What the fuck?

• 48:58Pablo Torre?

  Fuck.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Who's fucking Omni Court is this?

• 49:10Pablo Torre?

  This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production.

• 49:16Pablo Torre?

  And I'll talk to you next time.

• 49:33Speaker 16

  So Pablo Torre is the 50 Cent of journalism.

• 49:38Speaker 16

  Pablo, anything you need from me, baby. We're all here for you. We got your back. You can reach out.

• 49:46Pablo Torre?

  So here's the thing.

• 49:48Speaker 18

  Are you smarter than an NFL QB? What do you know about the world of bird watching? Colons and perfumes by celebrities? Or Bill Belichick's Airbnb? Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt. You can't hide the truth from me. Girl, you might as well tell me now.

• 50:13Speaker 18

  As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt, you can't hide the truth from me. Is Giannis missing free throws for free chicken? Is our next president an alien? And Russell Wilson? Why does the FBI director play so much hockey? Was Malik Beasley gambling before Milwaukee? Uh, wanna hear about the NFLPA? Or salaries in the WNBA? The Knicks failed LeBron recruitment tape? Did you know that TRL was fake? Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt, you can't hide the truth from me. Girl, you might as well tell me now. As Pablo Torre finds out, no doubt,

• 50:57Speaker 18

  you can't hide the truth from me.

• 50:59Speaker 16

  Anything you need from me, baby. Pablo Torre, the greatest sports journalist in the world.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone. And I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody, listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed. And the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.

• 51:35Speaker 20

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone. And including dental, vision, and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is, every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save, too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage, HMO and PPO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.