#605 - Memphis Crisp

Theo returns with a solo episode to talk about going to Hulk Hogan’s funeral, a new vision for the Grammy’s, and what some girls in Philly are like. He also responds to some of your voicemails and shares some thoughts about the power of brotherhood. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Morgan & Morgan: Visit https://forthepeople.com/THEO to see if you might have a case. Morgan and Morgan. America's Largest Injury Law Firm. Valor Recovery: To learn more about Valor Recovery please visit them at https://valorrecoverycoaching.com/ or email them at [email protected] Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo and download their new web browser Comet at https://comet.perplexity.ai/ ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  You ever realize that you spent your entire morning thinking about lunch? It's 9 a.m. and somehow I'm already in negotiations with myself about how I'm gonna spend $20 on a sandwich at noon. And then I eat it, or you eat it, or somebody eats it, and then an hour later, you're just standing in the kitchen worrying about what you'll do for dinner. And that's one reason why I've been into Huell. The Black Edition Powder is a complete meal you have instead of food, not a shake on top of food. Their powder starts at less than $3 per meal, has 40 grams of protein, and mixes with water or milk in about 30 seconds. I like Huell's shakes because they're clean and it's quick.

• 0:41Theo Von?

  I just want to make sure I have everything I need to keep going the way I want to keep going in a healthy manner. So with Huell, basically, lunch went from a daily logistical problem to a thing I can solve in about 30 seconds. Make healthy eating simple. New customers get an exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code WEEKEND at huell.com/weekend. That's H-U-E-L dot com slash weekend. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show. That's it, that's it, that's it.

• 1:18Theo Von?

  Don't you even.

• 1:21Theo Von?

  You chill out.

• 1:26Theo Von?

  Dude, if I had a husband, I would, ooh. I'm, dude, I would not even come home to him.

• 1:34Theo Von?

  I'll say that straight up, bruh.

• 1:37Theo Von?

  If I had a frickin' husband, dude, I would not even come home to his frickin' white ass.

• 1:44Theo Von?

  No, sir. No, sir, but I'm getting a wife, that's what I'm getting, one of these days. Not now, soon, I know I've said it before, but I'm just, that is what I'm doing. And so, if my wife is a man, dude, I will be, I will be upset. I'll be upset. I'm just gonna say it straight up, so.

• 2:10Theo Von?

  Anyway, um, good to see you today. Good to be here with you. Um, it is August in the year 2025 and these, these años, which are Mexican years, are rattling on. These bitches, they, they, it's down, they go, everything's heading downhill, baby. It's just, things just speed up.

• 2:36Theo Von?

  And I get burnt out. I'll tell you, I get dang burnt out. I feel like I just a, just an empty eight ball bag. I'm the, you know, I just, you know, I get burnt out.

• 2:47Theo Von?

  I mean, I just, but I show up. But I show up. That's the thing. I get burnt out, but I show up, you know? I'm that fucking lava lamp, homie.

• 2:59Theo Von?

  I'm the Lord's lava lamp, dog. And I'll,

• 3:04Theo Von?

  I'll bust on y'all. You know what I'm saying? Type shit, boy. BLM. Anyway, just had to get all that out of my system. Uh, good to see you. Good to, good to be with you today. Um, what's going on? Just had some crazy couple of weeks of shows touring. That's kind of the usual. I was in, uh, Philly. We went over there. And you know Philly, you know? You'll see a baby. He'll be crawling out just to work. By himself. You're like, God. He's reunion. He's, you know, he'll get a pension if he started that early. You see that though. You see kids, five, six-year-olds playing, wearing damn hard hats over there.

• 3:49Theo Von?

  Shit falling on them. Just, that's Philly.

• 3:54Theo Von?

  You know, it's tough. Everything's tough over there. You'll see a cigarette smoking a cigarette. You're like, God. Everything's just puffing.

• 4:05Theo Von?

  That's how it is over there. That's Philly. Hey, Philly.

• 4:11Theo Von?

  Hey, Philly.

• 4:14Theo Von?

  Dude, I was dating this girl from Philly. She's like, uh, she's visiting me and she's like, "Oh, do they have, uh, bottomless, uh, mimosas or whatever?" And I was like, "I don't know." And she's like, "Oh, in Philly, they got bottomless ones. You guys don't have bottomless ones?" I was like, "I don't know. I don't, they may have, they might not, I don't think they have." You know? And I'm like, "Oh, we could go get some, uh, I know a place for good Italian food." And she'd be like, "Well, is it bottomless?" And I'm like, "Ah." I don't, it's, you know, no. It's, you know, it's like regular entree and two sides." And she'd be like, "Mmm." "In Philly, they have Dino's and they have bottomless raviolis." I'm like, "Dude, I don't want bottomless raviolis."

• 4:59Theo Von?

  "I don't ever want that. I will pay someone an extra forty dollars to put a bottom on the raviolis." "Bottomless?" All chicks from Philly care about is getting bottomless meals. That's it. She's like, "Oh, we were, we went to my friend Julia's birthday last week and they had bottomless eggs at brunch." And I was like, "Ooh." "Fucking hide my dick in a submarine. I do not ever want bottomless eggs." "This pisses me off, bro." And she'd be like, "Oh, God, I wish we were back in Manny, huh?" "There's a fire department that serves bottomless coleslaw every year during summer solstice or whatever." I'm like, "Ooh, you're sick, lady."

• 5:41Theo Von?

  And she got upset if I take her to places that, that had regular servings. She got upset. "I know a great place we can go and get some, uh, some wings." And she's like, "Well, how many do they give you?" And I'm like, "This bitch." Boy, I said, "They give you, uh, you know, an, of, you know, a no, a normal amount for somebody that's eating, you know, five or six." And she could just see her, just her energy, hmm, just dropped. She'd be like, "Oh, I wish we were in Philly right now. There's, they're having bottomless cheesecake over in Fishtown today at 4:00 PM." I'd be like, "I don't care. I don't care." "Tonight in Center City, they're having bottomless manicotti." I'd be like, "Ooh."

• 6:31Theo Von?

  And I was like, no, I don't want that. And she got all, her feelings got hurt. Her feelings got hurt, man. And she's like, hmm. And she kind of snuggled up her grandmother and made her like a Silver Linings playbook, like knitted quilt or whatever. And she just was like, hmm. Oh, you should go to Kensington. They're having bottomless methadone over there. You're like, oh, God. So anyway, I'm just, I'm just, it's an all call. I would love, maybe one day I'll marry a nurse from Philly, marry a good, uh, you know, semi-violent woman who can put an IV in you after she fucking pieces you up a little bit. But I'm just saying, be aware, women from Philly, they want it bottomless.

• 7:17Theo Von?

  You know, I want a woman that wants a little bit of a bottom on things. That's who I am. So praise God and God bless everybody. What's happening? We just had some good shows everywhere, you know, most of them are pretty good these days, I think. I mean, I know it's hit or miss in some of the venues. Um, I'm just saying from an actual aspect of, uh, trying to pull it off. Um, where do we go? Yeah, Philly, Rochester. Uh, we just had some out in San Diego, Oceanside, which is beautiful. If you get to go there, everybody pulled up, um, a lot of great folks and a lot of Mexican people too. Uh, and I want to say something, I want to say something right now. I want to give a round of applause

• 8:04Theo Von?

  to all the Mexican people for keeping this country going.

• 8:10Theo Von?

  Thank you.

• 8:13Theo Von?

  Gracias.

• 8:17Theo Von?

  Mas, mas, mas. Thank you though, because Mexican people keeping this shit going, bro. They're the wind in the sail, man. So I salute them. If I see Mexican people, I hit them with that hard right there. I give them that triple M right there for Mexico. Ayah, hit them with that shit, boy. Fuck yeah, amor. Amor papa, amor.

• 8:47Theo Von?

  Mama, that's it. Amor or less, Mexico.

• 8:54Theo Von?

  Thank you.

• 8:56Theo Von?

  What else is going on? Um, let's get into some news. I could tell you more about me. I've been a little bit burnt, but I don't want to go into that. What am I dealing with? Let me think about what I'm dealing with. Maybe just on a personal level for a minute. What's happening?

• 9:11Theo Von?

  We have a Netflix special that we're coming up with soon. We're going to tape that in New York City. So just, uh, if you, if you check on social media on our Instagrams, we'll put it up on there. So it's exciting.

• 9:25Theo Von?

  And just thank you to everybody that's come out over this tour. It's almost over. And I just can't believe it. All the places that we've been and, uh, and some of the shows, you know, we always tried our best, but thank you guys for showing up and trying your best too. And, uh, giving the live show, um, a chance and, uh, yeah, definitely learned a lot. And yeah, so I just want to say thank you very much and I appreciate you for coming out and I hope I can return the favor to you, uh, in our lifetime.

• 9:56Theo Von?

  What else is popping with me personally? I went to Hulk Hogan's funeral. Yeah, my tour manager and I went down and, and it was, you know, you get down there and it's beautiful. It's down in Largo, Florida. And, um, we ended up meeting up with Kid Rock or, yeah, I was having dinner with him a couple nights before and he's like, do you want to go to, he said, mentioned he was going down. And I was like, oh, I'm going to go to the funeral. And then he's like, uh, well, let's, let's, let's go. So we went. And so that was the crew. We get down there and we got to, I mean, it's in a beautiful church down there. Where was that church? Zach, if you can look that up for me really fast. Where was that church down there? Indian River, Indian, oh, that's a damn casino, actually.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Indian Rocks Baptist Church in Largo, Florida.

• 10:43Theo Von?

  Okay. Indian Rocks Baptist, almost. I'm just saying that thing's a couple of, you know, a couple of slow weekends away from being, getting overtaken by a casino, bro. It sounds like, but, uh, anyway, beautiful place. Indian Rocks Baptist Church, you know, um, and they have like a baptism. Um, it's actually where Hulk Hogan got baptized not too long ago. Um, they played that during the memorial service. And it was nice, beautiful place there.

• 11:14Theo Von?

  A lot of people sitting there. You walk in, there's a lot of people in there, you know? Hacksaw was in there. Um, Mount of the South Jimmy Hart was in there. Ric Flair was in there. Dennis Rodman was in there. And he kind of like, he kind of, you know, I think as, as they were pushing the casket out, it kind of shook, like wobbled a little bit. And he, Rodman kind of stopped it, which was kind of crazy. He was like, you know, like one last rebound, kind of just, you know, he kind of

• 11:46Theo Von?

  just helped toe the line there and just kind of keep the Hulk headed to heaven, I guess, straight away. And, um, but yeah, it was just, you know, it was kind of crazy because you're walking, you know, for me, I was walking through a lot of my childhood, just the moments of all these wrestlers. And some of them's in wheelchairs and some of them's in, you know, some of them got on chain mail and shit or fake spines, all kind of, they got everybody's in there. Fake arm, fake neck. You got, you know, people in there with so many missing parts. It's just a damn Jim McMahon Build-A-Bear over there at that Hulk Hogan funeral over there.

• 12:26Theo Von?

  But yeah, so it was kind of wild just to see like all like, you know, parts of my heroes and stuff like that. And like, and see heroes from when I was a child. Because there was nobody bigger to us, uh, than professional wrestlers. I'mma say that right out loud. And I'mma say that our love for professional wrestlers was bottomless, bro. Point blank, homie. We just loved them, dude. I mean, Nate, like me and my buddy William would stay up at night and try to watch Saturday Night Main Event when Hulkamania would show up on there. And the big boss man and bam bam big hello. Me and my buddy William, both of us were falling asleep. We would hold each other's eyes open.

• 13:10Theo Von?

  I would hold his open and he would hold mine open and we would just hold each other's eyes open, boy.

• 13:19Theo Von?

  And we'd eat as many of those red hot fireballs as we could. So our mouths would be like they were dripping blood. And we would spray WD-40 on our arms and on each other's backs.

• 13:31Theo Von?

  Fuck yeah. Get it on my back, Whitey. And we would do that shit, boy. And we would, oh, just wait there. Until they came on the screen, the wrestlers. Ultimate Warrior. Ru- Rudy the Rabbit, Ravishing. Ra- ah, not Rapist or whatever, what is, I don't know who that guy was. Oh, yeah, with the hair cutters. The gardener, this like fucking gardener, he had like gardener shears and he would fucking cut your mom's hair or something. And then she would be pregnant, you know?

• 14:08Theo Von?

  So, anyway, yeah, but the wrestling, it was like, we looked up to those guys, you know? Like in our street, a lot of the kids, there wasn't a lot to look up to. You know, there wasn't a lot to look up to, so, um.

• 14:21Theo Von?

  Those wrestlers, when they, you know, it was like, I don't know, wrestling to me, it felt like it was for poor people, bro. I'mma say that out loud. You know, it just, all the character, I don't know, it just, I think there was no barrier to entry for wrestling. Right? You didn't have to have a hoop or a pool, there was nothing you had to have. You had to have a younger sibling who was willing to get hurt.

• 14:44Theo Von?

  Okay? You had to have a spare neck brace. And that was all you had to have. And you could be a professional wrestler. In your house, for a little while, until your sister got fucking bad off. I remember one time, one buddy's sister, she been fucking, they put her in a damn. You know, my, my one buddy's finishing move was the damn biopsy. And that shit, god. You know, you could hear one of her eyes just rattling in the back of her throat, like one of those, uh, Lotto balls, just coming up the pipe before you knew the number, I mean, my buddy would he would really rip his sister up and. But, uh, anyway, everybody's fine now, his adult's pretty good.

• 15:28Theo Von?

  But I remember she was all banged up and they had to put it, to use a couple of damn, uh, broom handles. I mean, full broom handles, not those little. You know? Just them little kitchen bitch sticks, I'm talking about that janitor thing. That fucking. You know, that janitor carries that big fryer tuck broom, that bitch got that. That two inch girth on that big thing, that handle. And they had her keyed up to a bu- couple of that O's, like a damn scarecrow, trying to keep her body organized enough so she could finish school. So anyway, sorry, let me get back to it. But when wrestling came on TV, man, it was like even if I felt horrible about myself as a kid, or if I felt ashamed of where we lived.

• 16:11Theo Von?

  You know, if I felt, I don't know, if I felt like I didn't have somebody looking out for me, or just all that stuff. All that stuff that I felt as a child, right? And I'm not, not, I don't need any self pity. I'm just telling you those things I had, you know, that was part of my, part of my heart and brain at the time. And all that would go away, man, when that wrestling came on. You know, like when Hulk Hogan came on there, it like, it just gave me something like, I literally gave me something to look up to. I was sit there and look up at the screen, you know? It was just, you know, it just gave you something like, it just made you feel kind of like, you know, something's possible.

• 16:54Theo Von?

  You might need steroids and you might need, you know, a lot of fucking fake sweat or whatever. You might need to fucking rub your body against another man at night in different cities around the world.

• 17:07Theo Von?

  But you can figure it out.

• 17:10Theo Von?

  And yeah, I just loved that, man. There was something about it in our neighborhood, man. So yeah, shout out to my buddy Will Teague over there, Eddie Joe, Larry Tisdale,

• 17:22Theo Von?

  Robbie Taylor, the whole gang over there. We loved wrestling, man. It was, it was everything to us. So thank you to Hulk Hogan and all the wrestlers that gave us that, just gave us that feeling of like, yeah, I'm gonna show up and I'm gonna rip my fucking shirt off. And I'm gonna fucking DDT somebody at my workplace. That was good shit. Anyway, but yeah, so it was just wild, you know, to get to see a lot of different heroes and part of me wanted to stay longer. The people that I went with were left early and so I couldn't stay. I wanted to kind of mill around and I got to say some hellos and meet some new people and, but I just felt really lucky to go.

• 18:06Theo Von?

  Nick Hogan was there, Hulk's son, that was nice. I've met him before, but I got to see his wife, meet her. And Linda, Sky, to Hulk's, his wife and ex-wife.

• 18:21Theo Von?

  And one thing that I thought was pretty neat was whenever Nick Hogan was up there, he was just making a speech and he's like, you know, he said that, you know, he believes that his father's watching over him. And then he kind of said, he kind of did like a bit of an impersonation of his dad and he's like, what you gonna do when the Hulkster is watching over you? And I thought that was pretty cool. Anyway, that's through it, through the wrestling. Ah, what else is going on? Let's get into a little bit of news. We've got some calls from you guys. Um, I do want to, you know, I want to try and do more regular episodes. I know I said that before. Um, but with this tour almost done, I'm excited to get a little bit more space so I can feel and uh, I want to, I want

• 19:05Theo Von?

  to have more space in my head to be creative. And to feel, man, there's, there's days I can't even feel. And I'm not complaining. I'm just like, dang, this is life. You just get, you know, you get going. It's hard to tap in sometimes and have a conversation with somebody where your feelings need to be present. And um, and I, and that's one thing I've really always loved about this podcast was just like the presentness of feelings. And so I am looking forward to having a little more space in my life and time to make that a possibility. So, but we'll see, you know what I'm saying? I've said that shit before, but anyway, but yeah, thank you guys so much for support on this tour. I can't even believe it. I want to make a whole slideshow that I'm going to

• 19:47Theo Von?

  put together and maybe put out, um, just to like, just show like some different moments, people that we met along the way and things like that. Uh, I'll have to figure that out exactly how I'm gonna do that. What do we have here? We got, um, new news here. Morgan Wallen will not submit music for 2026 Grammys. Um, Wallen, who's never won a Grammy despite his status as being the biggest artist in country music, has the best selling album of 2025 with I'm the Problem. Um, Morgan Wallen will not be submitting his music for consideration of the 2026 Grammy Awards. Good for them, man. Good for him. I like that shit. I like it. Fuck it. Cause you know, the awards are blessing, that kind

• 20:32Theo Von?

  of stuff's nice, but what does it mean? Right? And once you quit saying you could use us for your awards and they don't have any awards, boy. And the people choose.

• 20:43Theo Von?

  So, but also what the fuck am I talking about? I don't know, and I'm sure there's people out there that are excited to win Grammys. But Morgan always doing some rogue shit and I'm there for it. I'm there for that shit, dog. Gimme a, you gonna make me drive over there and get your deal? And that thing, and the, the, bring up a Grammy on the thing. Let me look at one of these bitches.

• 21:07Theo Von?

  I wish they gave you a real Grammy, that's what I wish. Oh, they gave you the, one of these old hearing aid things right here. Now, I wish they gave you a real ass Grammy, boy. Just a beautiful little grandmother would come out and hug you. That's what we should do. Dude, you win a Grammy and then we have like six Grammys back behind a curtain, right? And one of them, you know, they spark one of them up a little bit. They kind of, you know, touch her in the back with a fork or something, nothing heavy, but just, you know, she's doing Grammy stuff. She's knitting or something, you gotta get her attention. And then that one rolls out from behind the curtain and hugs whoever wins. Dude, that would be great.

• 21:53Theo Von?

  Bro, you telling me I would love a hug from somebody's grandmother? God.

• 22:01Theo Von?

  Those hugs are

• 22:04Theo Von?

  just the way you land in them, it's like being at a spa.

• 22:09Theo Von?

  You get a young hug from one of these young bitches, some of them are strong and shit. They got, you know, some chick hugged me that day, she had a couple damn dumbbells in her hand, two barbells, three and a half pounders, like what the fuck is this?

• 22:24Theo Von?

  But you get a hug from a grandmother, she got them damn catcher's mitts full of love. She got two of them bitches, baby. And their arms go right into the tits. They ain't even a difference, bruh. That's just a big bicep tit. Titsep. Biceptit. That's just a damn fucking, mm, that's a fucking love seat.

• 22:54Theo Von?

  She got them two arms like a damn front end loader, that bitch'll hug you. God!

• 23:01Theo Von?

  So that's what I would like to see. Cause a lot of that shit, man, I don't care about that shit. Put me on your thing, you do this, you won this, bitch, what is that? Bitch, what is that?

• 23:16Theo Von?

  Then you choose who you thinks the best. That motherfucker sold everything out there. He sold everything out there.

• 23:27Theo Von?

  He, dude, I remember, I was talking to Morgan a couple weeks ago, he said he couldn't even get a ticket to his own show, bruh. That's how sold out them bitches are, dog. So what are y'all even fucking playing, bruh? Good for him, man, fuck them.

• 23:44Theo Von?

  So, but now also I can't sing, so I could never win one.

• 23:49Theo Von?

  But I almost won fifth place in that school spelling bee, baby. And they put me in that bitch. It was me in the final two. And this girl named Helena, some people called her Big Helena, I didn't do it. But some people did. And the word that I misspelled was inconvenience. And she was pregnant at the time.

• 24:14Theo Von?

  And she got it.

• 24:17Theo Von?

  She got it right.

• 24:21Theo Von?

  That's how it was. They said, can you use it in a sentence? And they're like, being pregnant in middle school would be an inconvenience. And that cracked the code for that bitch hit rattled off them letters. Rattled off them letters. Let me see how many letters in inconvenience, man. Let me look it up here on my perplexity. That's what I use. Some people use other AIs. I like this one. It's a little more professional. Let me see.

• 24:52Theo Von?

  Inconvenience has 13 letters. If you spell it correctly, it says on there, dang. Dang, this bitch got jokes, alright? Type shit, man. Um, but I like that. Let's keep it moving here.

• 25:09Theo Von?

  Thank you guys for bearing with me today. I'm trying to be a little bit more imperfect today. And I mean that just in the sense like in my head, I'm always like, I gotta do this, I gotta do it.

• 25:19Theo Von?

  Fuck, I'm tired of that. I'm tired of that voice.

• 25:25Theo Von?

  Um, what else do we have? Oh, wow. Here we go. A woman reported missing by her family in Texas has been found living amongst a lost African tribe in the Scottish woodlands. The Kingdom of Kubala claimed they have settled in a forest in Jedburg with the intention of reclaiming land that was stolen from their ancestors 400 years ago. Wow, and this lady is living there.

• 25:53Theo Von?

  We live a very simple life of returning to innocence. We return to nature. And they got photos up on here. They grill and stuff like that. They grilling up a lot of, it looks like, you know, it looks like goat and stuff like that, and they vibed out. And they got like Zulu warrior type of e- energy out here. And kind of just chilling in tents. It looks like, kind of like REI tents. But you gotta be careful, man. I think, because a lot of, I noticed this in my life. If you take a woman to a certain restaurant, they want that lifestyle.

• 26:26Theo Von?

  They want that lifestyle. Dude, I was dating a girl, uh, in LA for a bit. I took her over there to, um, Rainforest Cafe. Three weeks later, that bitch moved to St. Thomas and married a brother!

• 26:45Theo Von?

  St. Thomas! Oh, because I'm out here getting that bitch apps over here.

• 26:52Theo Von?

  At Rainforest Cafe. Be careful. You take your lady to PF Chang's and next thing you know, she got all your shit all fucking chip chopped out at the house. Lampshades and everything, motherfuckers. She got ninjas on the, uh, bookshelf.

• 27:10Theo Von?

  She got a, a stack of books and then two ninjas just pushing against each side of them.

• 27:18Theo Von?

  That's the kinda shit women will do that, bruh. You take them to PF Shang's over there. You take a lady over there to PF Shang's and next thing you know, she got you brushing your teeth with a damn bamboo stick or whatever. And that's your money buying all of that.

• 27:36Theo Von?

  So you gotta be careful. You can easily lose a woman. Somebody probably took this lady to a nice restaurant of some sort. That's what I would guess. Probably took her out to a Caribbean dinner or Scottish meal or something. Cause that's it, missing Texas woman found living in lost African tribe in Scotland.

• 27:59Theo Von?

  But yeah, man, that's what happened for me, man. I took a lady to Rainforest Cafe. And bam, that bitch gone out there. Biting dice dust. Living out there gambling. Place a bet with me. She's living out there on St. Thomas. Wearing a grass skirt and shit. Married to some guy who played in the NBA DL. Out there. G League. That was it, bruh. She didn't even tell me bye.

• 28:30Theo Von?

  She's out there saying, you know, I love the islands. I'm like, bitch, you didn't even pay half for the food we ordered.

• 28:37Theo Von?

  You didn't even pay half for the food. You don't love shit.

• 28:42Theo Von?

  Summertime, supposed to be all about fun and joy in the sun, relaxing, the pool, good vibes. But the truth is, it's also one of the busiest seasons for injuries. Yep, injuries. Ooh, I love the summer. Oh God, I'm injured. Whether it's a poolside slip, a festival gone sideways, a theme park accident.

• 29:08Theo Von?

  Or anything. Summer fun can take a turn fast. That's where Morgan & Morgan comes in. They have over 1,000 attorneys nationwide to help you get back on your feet and get your summer back on track. They've recovered over $25 billion for their clients nationwide. There's a reason they're America's largest injury law firm. Hiring the wrong firm can be disastrous. Hiring the right firm could substantially increase your settlement. If you've been hurt this summer, you can check out Morgan & Morgan. It's free unless they win. Just click on the link in the description below or visit forthepeople.com/theo. That's F-O-R-T-H-E-people.com/theo.

• 29:53Theo Von?

  Or click the link in the description below. This is a paid advertisement. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes, men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them. I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse

• 30:38Theo Von?

  and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life. Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com

• 31:23Theo Von?

  or email them at [email protected]. Thank you. Anyway, what else we got? FDA warns public not to eat possibly radioactive shrimp sold at Walmart. Gang, boy. The Food and Drug Administration is warning the public not to eat, sell, or serve certain great value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmarts to possible contamination with cesium-137, a radioactive isotope. Gosh, what is, what is happening? U.S.

• 32:03Theo Von?

  Customs and Border Protection alerted the FDA about possible cesium-137 detected in shipping containers at four U.S. ports. If you have recently purchased raw frozen shrimp from Walmart that matches this description, throw it away. Um, cesium is a soft, flexible, silvery white metal that becomes liquid near room temperature, but easily bonds with chlorides to create a crystalline powder, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. Damn, that powder makes you want to fucking stay around and see if you can have a little bit of it. Couple of different dates on great value brand shrimp. Those are the issues. You, you can check those out. You know?

• 32:47Theo Von?

  It's honestly, it sounds like this, this just sounds like an origin story. I bet. Cause this is how the media works. I bet this is just an origin story for a new Marvel character. That's all it's gonna be. This is how they do it. They put something in the media that's not real. And then they create a character on it a year later and bring it out. So it's all, it builds in your head. That's a psychology, bro. That's a psychology. They have a planned way to do it. And that's what this is. I think this is a new Marvel character. This is Cocktail. That's who it is. Ooh, that's him. Cocktail. Started out as an appetizer. Now he's a fucking boss.

• 33:32Theo Von?

  We right here. Ooh, Cocktail.

• 33:42Theo Von?

  Dude, I like that cocktail, bro. That's the thing I've been getting now. At nighttime, if I'm trying to be on a date, I'm trying to be in love or something, bam bitch. I'm getting you that. That little shrimp cocktail, boy. Gah. You just see them cock, them tails, cuz that's not the cock. I don't know where the cock is, bro, and that's fine. I don't need to see it. But you just see them tails hanging off the edge of that little cup they put them on. Just like a couple stripper legs just hanging off that bitch.

• 34:19Theo Von?

  And I like them, bruh. Cocktail. He was an appetizer. Now, he's a boss.

• 34:32Theo Von?

  One shrimp. One hundred tons of cesium, one thirty-seven.

• 34:40Theo Von?

  Uh, that could be it, man. China's new pregnancy robot is set to replace the human womb by 2026. I've been saying this.

• 34:51Theo Von?

  The womb is great. God made it. It's beautiful. It's that original OG skeet portal from Christ, right? We get that. And it's been amazing. But you knew we were getting to this point where they was gonna outsource that womb, that baby box. Cuz big facts, dude, the womb doesn't even have air con, bruh. The womb doesn't even have air con, bruh. And some of them, the plumbing's even bad in them or whatever. The baby's in there and they got a dang little piss creek or whatever, rocking by or something. Cuz mama's out there, you know, slurping too many lemonades or whatever. Micheladas?

• 35:35Theo Von?

  So that's the kind of shit that pops off around there.

• 35:39Theo Von?

  So yeah, now it'd be great. You can have a little robot, even a little Chinese robot. You, your baby's in there, you put the egg in there, you put the semen in there, even like a little microwave door on that bitch. You put it in there, boop, boop, boop, boop. Set that thing whatever you want, mild or whatever. You know, eight months, seven months, you could even do black and mild or whatever. It's a little bit, it comes out with that fucking Memphis crisp on it, you feel me? They got all the options now. And then you and your wife can still read or whatever. Fight. Party or whatever, do a little toot or whatever. And your child is getting, uh,

• 36:22Theo Von?

  organized, Chinese manufactured, really, I guess. Now that is true. That may be, that may be sketchy because you, you have to deal with some Chinese manufacturing. It might get tariffed when you take it out of the microwave. I don't know. Trump might put that fricking, uh, he might put that Chinese extradition tax when you open that microwave and get your child out. But that'd be great, man.

• 36:47Theo Von?

  You know, your white, your child's getting raised in a robot, it's running around, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And it can still complain, you can even put a wig on, it can still be like a wife if you need that energy. It can still be like, I need some chocolate pickles for me. I'm tired, da.

• 37:06Theo Von?

  Please. Rub my feet. And you over there just spraying WD-40 on them bitches, baby. Them little, uh, uh, Chinese toes, or carpals de chino, Chinese toes. Um, what else? I think we've gotten through a lot of stuff there on the news. Let's crack into a few calls from you guys. Um, as always, the hotline for this show is nine eight five six six four nine five zero three. And, um, thank you guys so much for your support and paying attention and just being a part of our life and let me be a part of your life.

• 37:45Theo Von?

  Uh.

• 37:49Theo Von?

  Yeah, I just can't believe that this tour's coming on in, but I'm also excited about it. Excited for some new possibilities.

• 37:56Theo Von?

  Alright, let's take some calls right here that came in. Thank you guys for hitting the hotline.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Hey, it's, uh, Shaky Jake. Uh, just got over a seizure. Looking like David Bowie or something.

• 38:12Theo Von?

  And Shaky Jake, baby, he's that rattler. He's one of God's rattlers out here, baby. He's that damn tuning fork. That buddy's got it in him. Let's hear more, brother.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Um, just wanted to say that the podcast really helps keep me positive and, um, uh, keep me smiling. So, thanks, even though things are fucking scary. So, thank you, Theo.

• 38:39Theo Von?

  Well, you're welcome. And I'm sorry I was making funny a few seconds ago on this call. Uh, but also, I just was trying to make it more fun. Because yeah, when you said seizure and that's that thing, baby, and you got them tremors, dog. You fucking part earthquake, part human. You hug a woman while you have one of those, she'll never let you go. A lot of these babes. They're paying sixty, seventy dollars for that type of action. Over there at one of these sex shops.

• 39:09Theo Von?

  So, God, I'm cheering you on here today. Shaky Jake, he's got it in him. And I'd love to know what kind of deal does he have? Let me hear at the beginning again. He's got an affliction.

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Hey, it's, uh, Shaky Jake. Uh, just got over a seizure. Looking like David Bowie or...

• 39:30Theo Von?

  And he's got a black eye on him. That's why he's saying that. And the video's on YouTube. We popped it in. So, we got you in there, Shaky. And, um, yeah, just heal up, baby, and get better. And we've all got something. And we've all got something, man. So, I commend you for putting it right out there, face forward, brother. Right in this, I just mean it just like, bam, this is what I got.

• 39:57Theo Von?

  You know, I got that fucking, I got that remix in my nerves. I got that fucking reverb, homie. That white reverb, I like that shit. Blessings to you, man. And heal up well, brother, and heal up soon, man, love you. Let's take another call in here.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  Hi, Theo. Big fan.

• 40:19Theo Von?

  Hello.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  Um, I had a question for you. So I've been seeing this guy for about two months. Um, I really like him and I, I mean, I hope he likes me. Well, I'm not so sure because we've been dating for, like I said, about two months now and he hasn't kissed me yet. And I don't know what to do. The other day he put his arm around me and then he apologized because it accidentally fell down a little bit, a little bit lower off my waist, Theo. Um, and so I can't, he hasn't kissed me yet. I can't tell if he's gay or he just don't like me, you know?

• 40:52Theo Von?

  Well, there's other options too. Sometimes people don't kiss you because maybe they're sick.

• 40:58Theo Von?

  Maybe they're sick, you ever thought of that? This boy could be damn terminal and you're over there. Wish he'd kissed me, you know? And he's over there just hoping God gives him another afternoon. Let's hear more.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Uh, and I'm typically somebody that likes the guy to take the reins. So this is kind of a sticky situation for me, Theo, and I, I just want to get your advice on it. Much love, you know, I watch the podcast every week, um.

• 41:25Theo Von?

  Well, thank you so much, I appreciate that. I appreciate the warm words there. And I'll say this straight up. A lot of men out there don't even do kissing anymore.

• 41:37Theo Von?

  They do touching. They do hand touching.

• 41:43Theo Von?

  And weiner, that's it. Kissing's from damn eighteen hundreds or whatever, sixteen hundreds Scotland. You see people kissing over there, bring something up. Let me see this.

• 41:56Theo Von?

  In Scotland, seventeen hundreds. We'll split the difference.

• 42:03Theo Von?

  Two people kissing in Scotland in the seventeen hundreds. Bam, look at those MFers dude. G'day sir. Oh fancy the lips lad. Oh you're kissing me huh? Welcome to Scotland. Yeah, see, so look, what I'm telling you baby girls that things have changed, you know, some guys they don't do, they don't do kissing. They do hand touch, they do wiener. So that could be what's popping.

• 42:31Theo Von?

  And I think, look, a lot of guys even, there's places, there's articles now where guys are going to Costa Rica and getting their balls even taken off their body. They don't want them. It's dumb. Look at these ball, like, the wiener looks like a, you know, like it could get hired by Frontier Airlines. That bitch is, looks like it's going somewhere. The balls, they just look, they look like a couple of damn methadone homies. Sharing a wide mouth sleeping bag, that's all it is. So a lot of people are getting them nuts just clipped right off. And that's how you, then you say to a lady, I've got, it's all wiener, no nuts. All dick and no nuts, baby god. That's, and to a woman, that sounds like a diet. That's a skinny margarita of sex right there.

• 43:17Theo Von?

  All dick and no nuts.

• 43:22Theo Von?

  So anyway, I'm just telling you that could be happening, and look, it's twenty twenty seven or whatever it is, who gives a shit? Some people are calling from the future now, people are on different time continuums. What I'm saying is this.

• 43:33Theo Von?

  If you want to kiss him, kiss him. Some woman the other night said, come over here and fuck me, you little fucking honky fat fuck. Now, did I go over there? No, it was late. I was tired, but I admire that lady. Okay, and she will get my vote if she ever runs for office. But thank you so much. I would just fucking kiss him. I would fucking take his hands and I would just fucking.

• 43:59Theo Von?

  I would just be like,

• 44:02Theo Von?

  or just fucking write fuck me or something on one of his arms. And then he reads it, he's like, fuck me, and then bam. So that's actually, that's illegal. I think that's illegal. So don't do that shit. That's cheating or whatever.

• 44:20Theo Von?

  But yeah, but yeah, I think these, these days some men are too spooked. They held the me too shit. Everybody lobbed in everything about that. And now everybody is, you know, every guy's a pray, you know, so it's like now a lot of dudes, the good dudes are afraid. They're afraid sometimes. You know? And I'll say this too, a lot of men, they think the weiner's barely even a weiner anymore. In some circles of existence. Some dudes, they just think they got that long pussy on them.

• 44:55Theo Von?

  So let's hear another call here. As always hotline nine eight five six six four nine five zero three. Uh, here we go.

• 45:05Speaker 04

  Hey, what's going on Theo? My name's Jake Smith.

• 45:08Theo Von?

  Jake Smith, thank you for the call daddy. I appreciate it onward.

• 45:12Speaker 04

  Um, I was really wondering if you had some fatherly advice. I got my first baby on the way. Um, here in less than a week, I might have to find out boy or girl. So we'll see. But a little bit about myself, you know, I'm a, I'm a horseshoer now. I live over here on the countryside over on the west coast.

• 45:30Theo Von?

  Oh, a horseshoer. And I know what that's called. That's called a, um, a farrier. A farrier. And I'm going to read it right now. Shout out to the farriers out there.

• 45:44Theo Von?

  A farrier, a craftsman who trams and shoes, horses, hooves. I appreciate that calling in my sister's ex-husband's step daddy was a farrier. Cool business. I enjoy watching those farrier videos over there on Tik Tok. So let's hear it.

• 46:06Speaker 04

  Um, I used to work in zoos, used to take care of lions and tigers, walk them on leashes. And, uh, so I'm used to the little wild animals. But a wild child, now that's something a little different out of my expertise.

• 46:20Theo Von?

  Oh, man, I think you're gonna be fine daddy. You know, y'all got that little kuda gangster heading into the world and that's beautiful. You know, I think that's beautiful. You're gonna be fine if you get to handle a little uh working at a uh zoo. You over there with the llamas, bro, and the gerbils over there and them baby bears. You know, and the hermit crab. Dog, I'm a hermit crab. Be like, whatever, motherfucker. We got it. We're late for work, dog. That would be my thing, bro. If I was a, you know, in Mexico, they don't have any hermit crabs, bro, cuz everybody's gotta go to work, dog. We can't fucking that that shit is a fucking white shit, bro. That lazy shit. Oh, I'm a hermit crab. Bitch.

• 47:06Theo Von?

  Get off your fucking ass, homie. But yeah, dog, you'll be fine. You babysitting animals and stuff. You got a child on the way. I don't know. You're gonna be fine. But I say this, look that child in his eyes.

• 47:19Theo Von?

  And share something good into his face. Cuz that's all his eyes. His eyes are just absorbing what you're putting out in the world. If every time you look at that child, you're full of disappointment, or you're you're discouraged, or you're upset, then he's gonna be upset. It's gonna live inside of himself. You're casting a spell into your child's heart every time you look at him. Now, I don't mean you can't get mad at him or rough him up. Or fucking tie their legs in a knot and fucking tickle them. And fucking cover their body and fucking sprinkles. But just know

• 47:56Theo Von?

  that you gotta emotionally raise a child. If you don't teach a child how to feel, then they're gonna spend the rest of their life wandering around how to feel, homie. So I'm not preaching at you. I'm just wishing you guys the best in like kind of an aggressive manner. I guess I'm kinda tired, but that's alright. Praise God. Good luck with that child, daddy. Um, here we go.

• 48:16Speaker 05

  Yo, it's Emmy.

• 48:19Theo Von?

  What's up, Emmy? Thanks for calling.

• 48:22Speaker 05

  Um, I've been listening to the podcast for a long time. Thank you so much. You brighten up my day. When I'm hiking or at work. Um, so I'm currently going to dinner with one of my ex-boyfriend's mom. Um, I have kind of a silly question, like, how like, how do people feel about furthering like a relationship with somebody's parent when you're no longer together?

• 48:48Speaker 05

  You know, me and this lady, like, we really love each other. And if I could, she would be my mom.

• 48:54Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, I can totally relate to that. I think, you know, we all. You know, I believe that we get pieces of things of, excuse me, we get pieces of relationships from different people. You know? Like, um, there are moments in my life where my brother was around or wasn't around or was only so much available because of just positive things in his life or negative things in his life and vice versa, me for him. And I would, you find somebody, you get a piece of brotherhood from somebody else. You get a piece of fatherhood from somebody else, you, you know?

• 49:34Theo Von?

  And I really believe it is that way. Oh, I had so many friends' mothers. I would be friends with my friends' parents. I was way better friends with my friends' parents most of the time.

• 49:46Theo Von?

  I'd go over there and just bullshit with my friend just so I could go be around her parents and fricking chill.

• 49:53Theo Von?

  Smoke. Sometimes my friend, my, one of my buddy's moms, she used to tell us, do not smoke. If you guys get caught smoking, you are fucked, boys. I'm gonna pull your fucking feet off of your dick or whatever she would say, something, some old wives tale or whatever.

• 50:07Theo Von?

  Then me and her would go smoke. Do all my buddy was doing some yard work and shit. So it's like, yeah, I had great relationships with my buddy's parent, with friends' parents. That was so much fun. Girlfriend's parents, for sure. Oh. I got probably fifty of the first hugs in my life from, um, this young, this, this gal I dated. I got probably seventy-eight hugs from her mother. The best.

• 50:34Theo Von?

  But yeah, a lot of that's been a lot of my life. So yes, I think you can, I think you get bits and pieces and you just attract yourself to people in life. And then sometimes those relationships fade, but they don't fade like they disappear. They just time changes, you know?

• 50:50Theo Von?

  And things happen and sometimes like the waves come and hit the beach and they still are hitting the beach, but the water, the actual, actual wave that originally hit the beach, it'll kind of move down the beach. And so it's still hitting the beach, but it's moved on. And that's how those relationships are sometimes in my life. But I think they're great. And yeah, and then we can do that for other people too. You know, nothing makes you feel better than when you realize you have a moment doing something with somebody and it means a little bit of something, you know? That's really beautiful, I think. But, yeah, I mean, look, the love you can get from other people's parents is just

• 51:33Theo Von?

  bottomless, you feel me? You didn't think I was gonna say that. I'm feeling goofy today.

• 51:41Speaker 06

  Hey Theo, uh, this is Jake, uh, calling from Illinois.

• 51:47Theo Von?

  What's up Jake? Illinois, baby. That's what's up Papa. Let's hear more.

• 51:54Speaker 06

  Uh, anyways, I just needed some advice. I'm, uh, I work long shifts at work and I let, I let my emotions get the better of me sometimes. You know, I, uh, struggle with a little bit of a alcoholic problem. And, uh, I know you've probably talked about this plenty of different times. I've listened to a lot of your podcasts, but, uh, it's really affecting, uh, my relationship and, uh, the way I go about certain things that upset me. And, uh, and I, I can't seem to find that within me to get there.

• 52:38Speaker 06

  My girlfriend that I'm with is really, really seeing the bad side of me that I don't want her to see. But anytime anything really gets, gets a hold of me that I don't like, just, just takes over and I'm not the same guy that I was.

• 52:58Theo Von?

  Amen, brother. Look, I appreciate you calling. I appreciate you letting me know and just sharing with us what's going on with you, you know? Yeah, man. Anger has been...

• 53:10Theo Von?

  It's been a big problem of mine over the years.

• 53:14Theo Von?

  You know? I think for one, for me, is there's been a lot of rage from being young and never got out. Rage. I mean fury. I mean a fucking fireball that has endless fuel.

• 53:35Theo Von?

  I think as an adult, you know, the things that I noticed for me with anger was unrealistic expectations of others.

• 53:43Theo Von?

  Unrealistic expectations of others. Um, I was able to help figure that out through recovery through 12-step program. Now, that doesn't mean I've figured it out and then it solved it. You know, at different times when I've been in and out of the program, I've like, you know, had to do the steps again and realize it's still a problem. Still a problem. But yeah, unrealistic expectations, expecting people to know things before I told them.

• 54:11Theo Von?

  That was a big part of mine. Of what caused me anger, you know, because then I'm...

• 54:18Theo Von?

  You know, then I'm just, I'm always in conflict with everything. So that would be the only thing I think I could recommend would be if you go through 12 steps and you get through, and there's different programs. You know, you mentioned some alcoholism, and I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not, you will know. You know, you will. It's self-diagnosed. But I do know there's other programs. Um, if you aren't, that's still other 12 steps. And when you go through step four and five and six, you really start to figure out, uh... You know, your character defects. And that can be a blessing. You know, that's a gift. So, anyway, that's the only thing I could really recommend that I have had experience with. But yeah, I just would be so angry.

• 55:04Theo Von?

  And a thing like, I couldn't, I wish, I wanted to let that anger out. So, the crazy part is that anger will live in you and then you let it out years later. Sometimes the people you want to let it out at, they're not even there anymore. They're gone. They're ghosts.

• 55:23Theo Von?

  Man, so it just can feel.

• 55:28Theo Von?

  Like then it's almost like you fucking feel it again. Cause now you're angry that, you know, and now you're having to deal with it again that it's not only was it in you at one point because you were furious, but now it's in you again because it's trying to get out of you.

• 55:44Theo Von?

  It all comes to the surface, baby. That's what I do believe. But look, man, if you do something for yourself, then something will be different. That's the truth. If you do one thing, then something. You know, nothing changes if nothing changes, baby. They say that. And that's the truth, man. And if you heard that and you didn't understand it, then I'm just gonna say it again, slow, not because I'm trying to preach at you, I just want you to hear it, right? Nothing changes if nothing changes. So whenever, when I've heard that in my life, it's been like, okay, how long do I want to sit here?

• 56:27Theo Von?

  And not take an action, but expect things to be different. It kinda just...

• 56:34Theo Von?

  It put a mirror in front of me sometimes, but... Alright, we got one more call right here that came in. Um, as always, the hotline, 985-664-9503. Let's see what we got.

• 56:48Speaker 07

  What's up, Mr. Vine?

• 56:50Theo Von?

  What's up, brother? Thanks for calling.

• 56:52Speaker 07

  Uh... Yeah, man, I just caught that shit with Joaquin Phoenix, dude, and he's the shit, uh... I bet that was wild.

• 57:00Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude, it was frickin' wild, dude. So I'll tell you, so, um... Well, he said on the, on the video that the, on, on, on the podcast, the reason he, that he came on was because he'd seen this video talking about the, uh, stuff in the Middle East and, um... Which was interesting to me, because you know, some people don't want to think about that or hear about it, and I respect that. Uh... But, uh, just that he said that was interesting, but outside of that, just to get to see him, you know, he's had such a fascinating life. You know, just from like, if you, if you just go read up on his history, just traveling in like, kind of like a cultish, no school, like youth and just this whimsical

• 57:44Theo Von?

  Jack Kerouac, if they're at a, it's almost like Peter Pan goes to a Grateful Dead type of show, you know, just, um, I don't know, just so many different things. And then just like how talented he is, you know? And with him, and I don't even mean this like in a, it's talent for sure. But it's almost feels he's so unique that it feels almost other worldly. You know, it feels, ah, I mean,

• 58:17Theo Von?

  you know, some actors, they have feelings, you can relate to the feelings. He'll have feelings

• 58:23Theo Von?

  and connect behaviors to them that some of us have never even had, it feels like. So it's just, yeah, so I just felt, I just felt so lucky. And, you know, I wanted to be gracious to him. I wish there was more things we could have talked deeper about, but it's weird. You don't, you don't want people to think you're trying to just talk about certain things or tough times.

• 58:50Theo Von?

  And, and you're trying to get to know somebody and let them know that you're trying to be as authentic as you can, or like, you know, that you don't have any ill will. You know, I think,

• 59:02Theo Von?

  you know, so anyway, I'm kind of overthinking it, which is like my ego starting to flare up. But I thought it was awesome, dude. Let me hear more what you had to say.

• 59:09Speaker 07

  I mean, you know, you're talented too, though. It's like you're sitting across from just somebody in the business, I reckon. But at any rate, you know, I do enjoy his movies quite a bit and.

• 59:18Theo Von?

  Oh dude, no, I enjoyed it, man. I hugged him like three times in the hallway and I was like, holy shit, dude. I think, um, you know, I mean, I'm, yeah, I'm going to get married to a woman one day or something, but I'm, I can't hug him anymore. That was what I realized. I was like, oh, you can't hug somebody you don't know. Somebody, if they're nice to let you hug them three times, but. You shouldn't keep hugging that person, you know, especially if they're, you know,

• 59:46Theo Von?

  it wasn't like, it wasn't, it was fine, but it was definitely, there was, there was no more hugs. You could hear somebody say it. Nobody said it, but you, we both heard it, right? It was that kind of thing. So, but no, he was gracious and uh, I felt lucky. And that movie, Eddington, no joke, I think is one of the neatest roles. Um, Austin Butler's in it, uh, Pedro Pesquel or Piss of Plum is dead, I think is in it. I'm not even sure. Check it out. Anyway, thanks. One more call right here. Let's get to it.

• 1:00:16Speaker 08

  What's up, man? This is Miles.

• 1:00:19Theo Von?

  What's up, Miles? Damn, that feels like responsibility, dog.

• 1:00:25Theo Von?

  Having that name, gah, every time I go for a jog, fuck. Okay, onward.

• 1:00:34Speaker 08

  I uh, wanted to talk to you about your brother, you know, I uh, I recently got close to my brother and he's 12 years older than me.

• 1:00:47Speaker 08

  I swear I'm not a mistake, but uh, we got close, we worked together and, and uh, you know, we, I just,

• 1:00:57Speaker 08

  he means a lot to me. And uh, I see the videos of you talking about your brother and

• 1:01:06Speaker 08

  there's a lot of things I want to say to him and

• 1:01:11Speaker 08

  you helped me with that. We saw your comedy show in Kansas City. You rocked it. I don't think I've ever seen my brother cry till that moment and uh, you know, I think you kind of helped us come together, but uh,

• 1:01:29Speaker 08

  my point is that I, I love you, man, and, and keep doing what you're doing and you helped uh, you helped me. You helped me and my brother and, and I hope your brother's doing good and I love you guys. Peace out.

• 1:01:42Theo Von?

  Well, thank you, bro. That's nice of you to say, dude. I think that's, yeah, man, I appreciate it, dude. Thank you, bro. I liked how at the end you said, I love you guys. You know, you included my brother even in that statement. Uh, I thought that was very thoughtful. Love you.

• 1:01:59Theo Von?

  Yeah, you know, I think this goes back to even to that lady that called earlier saying like, do we, you know, is it okay to be friends with an old friend's mother or an ex's mother? You know, it's like, we get pieces of relationships from different people over time.

• 1:02:13Theo Von?

  You know, and some people fill in the blanks for us while people aren't there.

• 1:02:19Theo Von?

  Or can't be there.

• 1:02:23Theo Von?

  But yeah, having a brother, man, there's just like, I'm so glad you guys have gotten some moments. Oh dude, a moment with my brother where I know that he loves me, or I'm able to let him know that I love him. I don't know why that kind of stuff is so hard sometimes for some brothers. But, uh, oh yeah, those are some of my favorite things. You know, like one day whenever I die, that's the feeling I want to feel when I'm leaving, you know? I think that's where I would go back to in my head or my heart, just go back to that space. You know? Cause it's kind of like as close as you will get.

• 1:03:01Theo Von?

  And also it's like having somebody that's like cares about you, but also can be like a detective because they have the same clues as you inside of them.

• 1:03:10Theo Von?

  So being able to conversate and stuff about those things and work things out, it's awesome. I'm glad y'all got to do that. Thank you for coming too, bro. Thank you, bro. Yeah, and you know, brothers, older brothers, we don't get, we should have a special day for them. You know, they, they take a lot of the, they take a lot of the early heat in the world. They are experimental for a lot of families. They're like, well,

• 1:03:35Theo Von?

  let's see what happens with Gary, you know, they send, you know? Or they'll be like helicopter, they'll have him in a fucking, you know?

• 1:03:44Theo Von?

  But, but it gets different though, when you get on down six, seventh child, that motherfucker ain't got no clothes on. You know, Gary's gotta wear a damn neck brace full time. He's got polio shots. He didn't even have polio, but they gave him so many vaccines, he's damn got it now. He's got, you know?

• 1:04:02Theo Von?

  So I think it's, they do a lot to that early brother.

• 1:04:08Theo Von?

  You know, and then we get to watch and see like and learn the landscape. And then you're always trying to be your older brother, but be yourself. But yeah, thank you, man. I think I don't, I don't know what else to say today about it. But we should have a brothers' day in the world, you know?

• 1:04:29Theo Von?

  And I know the brothers out there in Philly are bottomless, dude. I know that, you know? But I mean, we should have a brothers' day, man. You know, where there's just like a special time for brothers right there. Cause Indian dudes, they have it all the time. You see a couple of Indian brothers, they holding hands and everything. They over there putting fucking, uh, you know, zit-zacky on each other's necks and shit. Them dudes is close as hell. But yeah, I'm happy for you, bro. And I'm happy that you thought today I'mma call today, I'm just gonna tell somebody else I love my brother. It's kind of,

• 1:05:05Theo Von?

  you know, it's, it sounds bizarre to say that, but it also sounds like one of the most important things you could do. Tell somebody, you know, I fucking love my brother. Like, well, damn, alright. You know, find a state where it's legal or whatever. Trump will take it away. Um, anyway, thank you for the call, bro. I love your brother too. And you tell your brother, I said I'm proud of his brother.

• 1:05:29Theo Von?

  Um, Dustin Poirier's retired, but that's okay. We never give up on him. We love him. He's gonna be out there fighting crime. I don't know what he's gonna be, that Bayou Batman, you know? That's who he is, baby. James J. Braddock of the Bayou Swamp Dorella, man, you know it.

• 1:05:47Theo Von?

  We still got love. He's in our hearts always. As we move forward, I will say this, one thing. I bought myself something nice. We donated to the Dustin Poirier Foundation, and we got his Final Fight gloves. And so those are going to be, um, in the studio. And so, he was one of our first guests. He's given us a lot of support, but also a lot of inspiration over the years. You know, and, uh, and that's another place right there, I'm thinking out loud, where sometimes you get a piece of a brother, or a sister, or a mother, or a friend, or something. You get it through somebody else, you know? And that's, those are gifts from God.

• 1:06:28Theo Von?

  Um, so, and to anybody out there who doesn't have a sibling, or they've lost a sibling or something like that. Feel that channel of your sibling through others, you know? I hope that there's an opportunity for you to feel that or that there's a avenue of grace that opens up in your life today or this week where you get to feel something like that. Cause I believe that people on the other side can feel them when we talk to them. I believe they, I bet, not only do they feel it, I bet they hear it in beautiful stereo. You know, I bet all of our siblings and family members could be at a big rave somewhere. And whenever we say something to them from this side, the DJ's out there and he just remixes the words, you know? "I love you Ronnie." You know? "We miss you Jillian."

• 1:07:13Theo Von?

  "We miss you Jillian."

• 1:07:18Theo Von?

  But um, anyway, praise God, you guys be good to yourselves. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life, sir. I was kinda chatty today. Thank you guys.

• 1:07:27Theo Von?

  Love y'all.

• 1:07:31Theo Von?

  And thanks for loving me. Or thanks for just listening even. Even if you hate me, just fucking thanks for tuning in. Praise God.