#150 - Rosebud Baker

Rosebud Baker returns to the pod to discuss her new special The Mother Lode (Netflix), how motherhood's going, how her daughter's hair is taking a while to grow in, the spike in stress levels she sees parents have when they have more than one kid, how everyone's having kids older now, and much more. Rosebud and Stav help callers including a woman whose boyfriend has a weird tic where he sniffs his own crotch, a guy whose father-in-law confessed that he's been having an emotional affair, and a nice Southern boy who just can't seem to get laid. Watch Rosebud Baker's special The Mother Lode out now on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81711233 See Rosebud Baker live and follow her on social media: https://rosebudbaker.com/ https://www.instagram.com/rosebudbaker/ https://www.youtube.com/user/rosebudbaker https://www.threads.com/@rosebudbaker https://www.tiktok.com/@rosebudbaker https://www.facebook.com/RosebudBakerNYC/ Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/wyx330el #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Eat smart with Factor. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/stavvy50off and use code STAVVY50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Visit https://bluechew.com/ and use promo code STAVVY to try your first month of BlueChew FREE -- just pay $5 shipping. Visit Cornbread Hemp at https://www.cornbreadhemp.com/stavvy and use code STAVVY for 30% off your first order. Get a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep It Twisted!! Visit https://www.twistedtea.com/locations to find Twisted Tea near you. 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld ☎️ Wanna be part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice!

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends. Everything else in life can wait. Your friends shouldn't. Let's go. White Claw. Grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavors. White Claw's also works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  At Lowe's, this Veterans Day and every day, military members, veterans and their spouses get automatic MyLowe's Rewards Silver Status Benefits. Plus, 10% off eligible purchases with no annual limit. It's one way we honor and give back to those who have served and still do. Learn more and verify now at Lowe's.com/military. 10% discount can't be combined with another offer. Exclusions, terms and conditions apply. Loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Details at Lowe's.com/terms. Subject to change.

• 0:46Stavros Halkias?

  Hoppa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavie's World. 904-800-Stav. Call in, we'll solve your problems. Coming at you early. Rosebud's struggling.

• 0:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I really am.

• 0:59Stavros Halkias?

  Not drinking and just up late.

• 1:01Speaker 03

  Just up late. I was dancing.

• 1:03Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:03Speaker 03

  I was just dancing with pals.

• 1:05Stavros Halkias?

  And friend of the show, Marie Fausten, who I don't recall either one of us getting invites to this party, Elvis. Friends for a decade. At least I am. I don't know about you. Was that her birthday? Was it? What was it?

• 1:19Speaker 03

  It was her birthday.

• 1:20Stavros Halkias?

  Wow. Can you believe this?

• 1:21Speaker 03

  But I think everybody was invited.

• 1:22Stavros Halkias?

  Was any straight man there?

• 1:24Speaker 03

  I can't recall.

• 1:26Stavros Halkias?

  That might be the one.

• 1:27Speaker 03

  I can't recall.

• 1:28Stavros Halkias?

  If it's all women and gay guys, then maybe I'll let it slide.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  I think Jay showed up late.

• 1:33Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe Devin was there?

• 1:34Speaker 03

  And Devin was there. Yeah. It was pretty. And they both sat on the side.

• 1:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:40Stavros Halkias?

  Would that have been so much to ask? To sit on the side and eat the snacks none of the gay guys were eating. I would have loved to do that.

• 1:49Speaker 03

  It was great. There was edibles on every table. There was the Plan B pill was on every table.

• 1:55Stavros Halkias?

  I love that.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Which was great, because it was just women and gay men.

• 1:59Stavros Halkias?

  Gay guys taking it?

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. Put it in your pocket.

• 2:05Stavros Halkias?

  I wonder if there is a guy so gay, he's mistakenly taken Plan B.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  As prep?

• 2:09Stavros Halkias?

  After unprotected sex. He's like, "I can't be a mother." After he's just getting spit roasted at a gay club. That would be nice. I'm sure someone has done that.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  I always think prep is like Plan B for the gays.

• 2:24Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think it works. I don't think it's like per load.

• 2:27Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 2:29Stavros Halkias?

  That would be a lot of pills.

• 2:35Stavros Halkias?

  They'd be fucking, they'd have maracas.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Is it, is it persperm? It's persperm.

• 2:43Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man, the plan B days.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:46Stavros Halkias?

  I have, I have really nervously purchased some plan B and like, not asked to see someone go, ah, but like, but like really looked at their, been like, why don't we go get like coffee immediately?

• 2:58Speaker 03

  Let me check under the tongue. Like a rehab.

• 3:02Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, do you want a smoothie? Drink it all right now.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  You turn into like James Bond trying to suss out the grimace, oh god.

• 3:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude, oh good lord. I thi- I mean, I have told the story before, but there was a mo- where I was like, I watched the Jenny Slate movie, Obvious Child, with a girl I had been like, kindness, you know, I'd been like dating casually for a while. Not a mention of con- this, you know, I'm, I'm in my early twenties, not a mention of condoms. In my head, I'm like, well, this is a responsible woman, she's not letting me raw dog.

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Right.

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  And then she goes, phew, I could ne- and it's like Jenny Slate gets an abortion, she's like, oh, I could never do that. I was like, yeah, but you know, you're on the pill. And she's like, I'm not on the pill. And I was like, huh?

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  Just my life flashed before my eyes.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  You never check.

• 3:52Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like fucking CVS open now. It was late, we went first thing in the morning.

• 3:57Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 3:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, tough stuff.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  I think I just took, I'll, I'll take it like, I'll just pick it up. If it was there, like last night, I just picked it up.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Cause I was like, I don't.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  Old habits die hard.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Yeah. I'm like, I'm not gonna leave it there.

• 4:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good to have.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, also, I'm not having a second fucking kid. That's, it's.

• 4:14Stavros Halkias?

  You're done.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  I'm done. I'm donezo.

• 4:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and that's, that's the toll on your body or the idea of like having another child running around?

• 4:22Speaker 03

  The toll on your life. The toll on your life. Yeah, it's, it's crazy.

• 4:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, cause I get that, cause uh.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Not tha- I'm not saying like it's uh, not worth it, but I'm just saying it's, it's crazy different than it.

• 4:33Stavros Halkias?

  What if you, I bet, but the devil's advocate, it's like, if you had one fat, like if you adopted one right now.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right? You kind of get all the bullshit out at once and then you just kind of let them cohabitate.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  That's what people think. That's what people think. They go, oh, I'm just gonna get it all out of the way. And then like they have a second kid and the next time you see them, they just look like they're fleeing a war torn country. Like they're fucked up.

• 4:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  It does. It takes over your life.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  Well, I feel, I mean, my parents had exact same thing happen where it was like they wanted two kids. And they had me first and then they had twins after me. And if they had the twins first, there's no other kid.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 5:14Stavros Halkias?

  And so they just got, and they were poor as fuck. Like there was not like a, there was no, yo, okay, well fuck it. I'll hit the road a little more. There's no, there's no, I'll do clubs I hate doing or there was like, oh, we're, I mean, they figured it out, whatever. I don't, I still just look, I, I would love to see footage of the way we were raised. Like I would love to see the gruel. We were, I mean, we were, we were a big cream of wheat family.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  Elders, God knows what fucking kind of refugee milk sacks. What UN powdered milk you were fucking raised on from ages four to fucking six?

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Hey, we're getting good bargains at Sam's Club. Buy in bulk.

• 5:52Stavros Halkias?

  But the Albania, the Albania, Greece, Elders was literally, he spent a year in a Greek monastery. Like his parents were, they were legitimate refugees on the way to.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  They just left you there?

• 6:04Speaker 04

  They got our papers in order there.

• 6:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. He was at a way station. We, we visited it when we were in Greece last year.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 6:10Stavros Halkias?

  Two years ago. It was kind of wild.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  You walk in, the memories come flooding back?

• 6:13Speaker 04

  Honestly, yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 04

  It was like, I said this, it felt like I found something I never knew I lost. It was crazy.

• 6:20Stavros Halkias?

  Damn. That's beautiful. That's poetic.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  I can hear those words echoing through the monastery.

• 6:28Speaker 04

  I mean, my first memories from life are there. It was cool.

• 6:30Stavros Halkias?

  That is crazy.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  It was crazy. We like found the nun that like was teaching me and my sister how to like speak Greek.

• 6:37Stavros Halkias?

  She was like not religious at all, right?

• 6:40Speaker 03

  Right.

• 6:41Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes you meet a religious person. Yeah, yeah. She was fucking huge. There's no, there was like a energy vibrating off this woman.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  Really?

• 6:50Stavros Halkias?

  Where I was like, I don't think like exactly, whatever exact Bible shit she thinks is real is real. But she is tapped into something that, cause I do think there's like a layer of shit we don't understand, like a consciousness and energy, whatever, like that people have sort of. Sort of like religion, I think sometimes people tap into that and they think it's like the Bible that was written four thousand years ago or whatever scripture they believe in.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  No, I think there's like a spirituality thing that if you get into it, like you can feel it from people.

• 7:20Stavros Halkias?

  And then I think people use the religions they understand as a conduit to get closer to it.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:26Stavros Halkias?

  Or like at least some people who have these, who are connected in that way.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:31Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I don't even think they're that different from like a motherfucker that like is a fortune teller or something. Like I think they're kind of, all those people have like some kind of, I think there are people who are sort of just more mystically kind of inclined in a weird way. This woman was like that dude. She had like a, like I, for like three hours driving away was like, is God real? I was like, it's just like being around this lady and just like her, her folk, her like zeroed, it was like.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  The way that like, I feel like it's the way people make eye contact.

• 8:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  It's like if you meet somebody who's like super spiritual, they can make eye contact and they will not break.

• 8:06Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  And they're not even a little bit afraid.

• 8:09Stavros Halkias?

  Anything, there's, yeah, they're fully like, they've given their life to something, they're so, they're present in a way that's like unnerving, that's like fuck, that's like, you're like, whoa, I'm glad they're not evil.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  Right.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like if they, if someone was like this in the, like so in control and evil, it would be crazy.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Staring into my soul like this and evil.

• 8:29Stavros Halkias?

  And you feel like they know so much about you and they're just like, they can just size you up.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  When I first got sober and I like went into like the program and shit and I would meet people who'd been sober for a long time, I remember being so freaked out by the way that they would like stare

• 8:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Into my soul.

• 8:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Cause I was like, oh, they know everything I've fucking done.

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  It was so bad.

• 8:50Stavros Halkias?

  Somebody like that who's been, who's now on the other side of it, but was you at a certain point.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:55Stavros Halkias?

  That, that is like an understanding, they told, it's like you looking at a little kid.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's like you looking at like a, uh, like when your kid is like a teenager and she's like hiding

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:05Stavros Halkias?

  drugs or booze or whatever.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  And you're like, aww.

• 9:07Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, oh, I know what you're doing.

• 9:11Stavros Halkias?

  I'm so far ahead of you like this is crazy like they were you were like unnerved but they were so they probably looked at you like a little kid probably

• 9:19Speaker 03

  there was like nothing but compassion in their eyes and I was like she fucking hates me

• 9:27Stavros Halkias?

  yeah absolutely

• 9:28Speaker 03

  yeah that's cool though

• 9:29Stavros Halkias?

  um but no that was that was uh that was definitely wild but anyway yeah that was that that was the bomb that was dropped on my parents was like an extra kid but

• 9:38Speaker 03

  I can't believe you were able to tie it back to that I had no idea I had no idea how we got here

• 9:44Stavros Halkias?

  hosting baby

• 9:45Speaker 03

  look at you

• 9:46Stavros Halkias?

  this is what happens when you by accident spend a decade of your life podcasting like hours a day

• 9:53Speaker 03

  you're able to fucking make those connections

• 9:55Stavros Halkias?

  yeah yeah yeah

• 9:57Speaker 03

  I would just I would have sat here

• 9:59Stavros Halkias?

  we would have gone on sobriety for a while

• 10:01Speaker 03

  two minutes of silence I would have been like what was it

• 10:03Stavros Halkias?

  yeah yeah well just and my other thing and this is total like I don't have kids privilege this is like when somebody tells you somebody tells you how it's like it's classic like when a how the scientific shit republicans the the panels are for women's health are all like the oldest men you've ever seen in your life they're just totally like I don't have kids I don't know if I'll ever have kids but I'm always like you can't have an only child like I have that

• 10:29Speaker 03

  yeah yeah yeah

• 10:30Stavros Halkias?

  only children are weird you can't be bringing more into the world that's my like I tell you how you should live your life

• 10:35Speaker 03

  I know

• 10:36Stavros Halkias?

  strong belief

• 10:37Speaker 03

  yeah

• 10:37Stavros Halkias?

  and I always feel like an asshole doing it but is there a worry that you will have an only child that's kind of weird

• 10:43Speaker 03

  um not really well like if it it's not a worry I'll put it that way

• 10:50Stavros Halkias?

  sure sure sure

• 10:50Speaker 03

  could she end up weird absolutely fucking literally is that gonna be my problem

• 10:54Stavros Halkias?

  because she's half you and Andy to begin with

• 10:57Speaker 03

  she's gonna be a weirdo she's absolutely gonna be a weirdo but like I don't really worry about it because I feel like in New York There's nothing for kids to do in their homes, so every kid has like

• 11:11Stavros Halkias?

  It's pretty communal.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  They're all like in like an activity every fucking day and so the people that they spend their time with are like their peers.

• 11:18Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  So the way that I kind of rationalize it to myself, which is probably what I'm doing.

• 11:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  Is just go like, ah, she's gonna be like out of the house most of the time, so.

• 11:29Stavros Halkias?

  The way like, what you say when you get a shitty apartment?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:32Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, ah, I mean, I don't need a fucking.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  What, am I gonna lay my head here?

• 11:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm gonna be out and about all the time. I don't need a window. She doesn't need to be socialized in her home. She'll get socialized in the fucking subway.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  I think she's also like, I just watch her and I'm like, oh, she's, she's good.

• 11:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  Like, she is so fucking social and so, she has like five best friends.

• 11:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's so cute.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  That she'll like come home and she's like, this is my best friend, this is my best friend. She shows up places, everybody's like, men out, like they, they, she's like a party animal. So I'm not really like that concerned about it.

• 12:07Stavros Halkias?

  How old is she now?

• 12:08Speaker 03

  She's almost two.

• 12:09Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, wow, that's awesome.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  She's so funny. She was like, uh, singing Michael Jackson this morning and shit. I didn't even know where she heard it.

• 12:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  She was in the kitchen, she was like, I wanna rock with you. What the fuck?

• 12:24Stavros Halkias?

  So this is right when she starts forming like proto sentences, right?

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:28Stavros Halkias?

  Like, they're not, it's still cute, cause it's like, the, when you see a baby kinda have like a, a subject and a verb and a sen- it's like, it's not just commands, but they still look a bit like babies?

• 12:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 12:39Stavros Halkias?

  It's a really cute zone to be in.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  And she's still kinda bald, like, I'm like, I don't know when her hair is coming, but she's doing full sentences. And I'm like, this has gotta change. We're gonna buy a wig.

• 12:52Stavros Halkias?

  Is she thin up top? Does she have, does she?

• 12:54Speaker 03

  She's got like curls on the sides, but it's just like, it's so short that if she's not wearing a dress, everyone thinks she's a boy.

• 13:00Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting, interesting, interesting. That is, yeah, I mean, ba- the baby growth curve is so funny, cause sometimes, like, I have a friend whose kid like, went from being an infant to just like a little guy.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Right.

• 13:13Stavros Halkias?

  Like, fully hair parted to the side.

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:16Stavros Halkias?

  Kind of a chi- kind of cheekbones? Kind of like a jawline? I'm like, was this baby more fucking masculine than I am? And it was like overnight. It's crazy.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Hair parted to the side on a baby always makes me laugh.

• 13:28Stavros Halkias?

  And it wor- like, it's not like fake. It's like, oh yeah, he has to get his hair out of his eyes. It's really funny.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  God, that's.

• 13:35Stavros Halkias?

  I know when they dress him up like a little gentleman.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  I know.

• 13:37Stavros Halkias?

  It is cute.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  It's fucking, I'm like, it's insane. Like, there is part of me is like, now that she's talking and walking and it's funny and stuff, I'm like, oh, maybe I should have another, but I'm like, there's no fucking way. Like, me and Andy, one of us would have to quit. There's no, you know what I mean? And we're not doing that. We will fight each other to the death.

• 13:56Stavros Halkias?

  The one who does quit will always resent the other.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Right now, even now, it's like, if he, it's so funny how we race to fill our calendars. Before the other one can.

• 14:10Stavros Halkias?

  Adversarial booking with your, with your spouse?

• 14:14Speaker 03

  He'll pop it in the calendar, like, I'll be like, fuck.

• 14:20Stavros Halkias?

  You should have a weekend draft. You should do it like, you know, you start every six months, you guys sit down, you're like, I want, April eighteenth through the twenty-first.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, we should do that, but we won't.

• 14:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you'll just continue to.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  We'll just keep doing it this way.

• 14:33Stavros Halkias?

  Slowly rack up the microaggressions against each other. Until they're full aggressions.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  That's how you keep fucking.

• 14:45Stavros Halkias?

  That clears it out.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  I don't even want to talk about this. Should we just like, fuck?

• 14:53Stavros Halkias?

  That is fucking, that is hilarious. Yeah, we're, I mean, it is like, uh, it's funny to think of every, like, life right now is a very baby, my life, I feel like eldest, you, you were kind of there because you're, you know, your sister had kids earlier, but it is funny to just see. When you moved to New York, you're trying to be like, oh, I'm gonna be in entertainment, whatever. You're like, oh, my life's different. It's not different. It's just like, it takes us 10 years later than everybody else.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  I know.

• 15:22Stavros Halkias?

  Cause now I'm just like, oh, I'm like, oh, this is what like, I was like, making fun of my friends at home when they were like 26 and it's like, oh no, now I'm the same way, but I'm, it's pathetic, I'm 36. It's pathetic for me to be like, aww, babies. It's like, I'm a fucking, I should have, you, we should have like, are we talking about our kids going like which middle schools they're going to right now?

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, like the, the classic thing, when you look up what age the Simpsons were.

• 15:50Speaker 03

  I know.

• 15:50Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, they're all younger than us, like, like, and their kids are nine or whatever.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  I know.

• 15:56Stavros Halkias?

  Costanza's in his twenties when Seinfeld starts.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 15:59Stavros Halkias?

  It's like crazy.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  And I, yeah, they, well, they all looked 40.

• 16:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  To me. Like, when I watch Seinfeld now, I'm like, they s-

• 16:06Stavros Halkias?

  But they're not. They're all like younger than us.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  They're all way younger than us. Yeah, it's crazy.

• 16:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  But it is, I mean, I think it makes sense to wait. I don't think, I don't think we were totally wrong to make fun of them for having kids at 26. I mean-

• 16:18Stavros Halkias?

  I think we were. They're gonna be so much happier in their old age.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  Oh, 100%.

• 16:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you know what I mean?

• 16:23Speaker 03

  100%, yeah.

• 16:24Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I'm still, here's how pathetic I am. I'm still at like mentally 20, where I'm like, should I have kids? It's like, what? I'm gonna die.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  It might not be an option.

• 16:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly. Like, if I do, it's gonna be like a-

• 16:38Speaker 03

  You're playing hard to get with like sperm that's not really doing it, you know?

• 16:42Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. The chemicals, the artificial sweeteners that I've like-

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know, uh, uh, exposed my genetic code to. I can't even think about it.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  It's so funny to watch like everyone that I know, like running into, I mean, not, it's not funny, cause I, I went through it myself, but like, watching them run into like fertility issues when we've been like, just running from the possibility of getting pregnant.

• 17:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. It flips so fast.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  And then we're like, wait, what?

• 17:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I want it now.

• 17:09Speaker 03

  I thought we had to try really, really hard not to.

• 17:12Stavros Halkias?

  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  That's what I was taught.

• 17:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  You know?

• 17:16Stavros Halkias?

  Doctor's like, those days are over, sweetheart.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 17:21Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yeah, that is, yeah, and then, and then like how much old jizz is a problem for kids?

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:29Stavros Halkias?

  Like the, all this like autism stuff is like, there's more autistic kids, cause like, old nut is being used.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:34Stavros Halkias?

  Like that, that seems to be the most like scientific, and it makes sense, it's like,

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:39Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's like, old guys are having kids with younger, that's not the, the limiting factor's not the age of the woman here.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Right.

• 17:46Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, we live in a society where it's like, Al Pacino just fucking nutted in some twenty-nine-year-old, like, it's not, you'll be able to find women of age, whatever.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's so clearly like, all like, and that, so I don't know, should I, should I freeze a nice batch? Should I, should I have some omega-three? Should I eat a lot of salmon for a week?

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Dude, you should absolutely freeze it. Go for it.

• 18:10Stavros Halkias?

  How do you get the healthiest jizz? Have you been, did you look at, are you looking into this, Eldis? Are you, cause you're-

• 18:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're like asking Eldis, like he's your doctor.

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  I think, cause he, cause he at least is like getting married, I think, you know.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:22Stavros Halkias?

  Like, he's probably gonna think about it.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're gonna have kids, we're, you know.

• 18:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 18:27Speaker 04

  There'll be a little baby LD here someday.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 18:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, god. Do you know how fucking stupid that baby will be?

• 18:34Speaker 04

  He's gonna be really smart.

• 18:37Stavros Halkias?

  How bumbling a child that'll be? Where you just have natural baby bumbling plus your DNA?

• 18:47Stavros Halkias?

  Just some fucking four-two, three-year-old.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  He's gonna be talking baby-ies.

• 18:55Stavros Halkias?

  Have you gotten your, are you worried about your nuts?

• 18:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:59Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you had that big gigantic, remember? Eldis had, Eldis had like, some kind of ball infection, his balls swelled up.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Wait, what?

• 19:08Speaker 04

  I got epididymitis where one of my nuts got really big and-

• 19:13Speaker 03

  How, how much bigger?

• 19:14Speaker 04

  I mean, it kinda like, was like the size of a lemon at least.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, lemon?

• 19:20Speaker 04

  I've, I've, I've talked about it-

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Did you see it?

• 19:22Stavros Halkias?

  No, I didn't see his balls, but I talked about it swallowing his dick up.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  One of the great regrets of my life is not taking a picture, but-

• 19:27Speaker 03

  You didn't take a picture?

• 19:28Speaker 04

  It kind of, it kind of like-

• 19:30Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you should've gone to, we should've gotten professional, we should've gotten Salik used to photograph it.

• 19:34Speaker 03

  You should've gone to JCPenney.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's my kid, actually.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  But yeah, I kinda like just enveloped my dick. Like pushed my dick skin forward and like I had to like pee sitting down for a couple of weeks. It was pretty fucked.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 19:58Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think it affected the health? I'm sure my shit is so sluggish. I'm sure, I'm sure my shit is so sluggish.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  I'm sure my sperm is like.

• 20:08Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  I'm sure my sperm is like four percent microplastic. Three percent Ben and Jerry's.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  I don't think that's the worst thing. I think we're all gonna be underwater and the kids will float.

• 20:19Stavros Halkias?

  True, true, true. That is, yeah. It is funny that, that everyone was worried about like cell phones and it's like clearly are like analog to lead, lead poisoning from the Roman.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:29Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone talks about, they all had lead poisoning. It's like, we have so much plastic. That's so clearly what's gonna take down this empire.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  Phone on my chest all the time.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  I'm like, it's crazy.

• 20:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  What I do to myself.

• 20:44Stavros Halkias?

  I know. I wonder what, yeah, we should do a little research and, and see how you get healthy jizz. We should, we should, this is, this is classic podcast stunt stuff. We should get our jizz tested and read the results on air.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  That really is.

• 20:58Stavros Halkias?

  Who's got better jizz, like shock jock stuff?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  That's almost like, uh, like 2016 era podcast shit.

• 21:06Stavros Halkias?

  We should do it for the Patreon.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. Show your asshole at the end for no reason.

• 21:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. I know. We missed the, we missed the boat on having porn. That was a big like morning radio.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:19Stavros Halkias?

  Into early podcasting was having just porn stars on. And then it got, when it was radio, it was like, okay, there's a line. It got strange where they were just like, oh, well, it's podcasting. I guess she'll just suck our dicks. And it's like, all right, man, we don't need the fucking. We don't need to fucking watch this. I did Kumia and there's like a fucking porn star rubbing my dick and then she started saying some wildly racist shit. I was in a onesie, I don't remember what it was, me and Mullen went on Kumia so early. And then, and then there was just like a weird porn star. And then it was like, whatever. And then she just started saying some out of pocket racist shit.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 21:59Stavros Halkias?

  And we were like, alright man, we gotta get the fuck out of here.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  Like while rubbing your dicks? And she's like, this will get them off.

• 22:04Stavros Halkias?

  I think like, uh, she, first of all, it was not planned. I think her muscle memory kicked in and started just ru- I was, she just started like kinda rubbing my dick and then I think she was like, oh, I don't have to do, I'm not.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Muscle memory kicked in? That's so funny.

• 22:18Stavros Halkias?

  This is somebody who's a prof- a true professional.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  Right.

• 22:21Stavros Halkias?

  And the vibe was ruined because I think, I don't remember what happened, but Mullen started like debating her. And it was like, and she was saying some hysterically racist shit. I don't even remember what it was.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 22:32Stavros Halkias?

  But it was like, alright man. And then, but at the time, I was like, wow. I made it. You know, it was like I just moved. I'm like, I'm with the guy from Opie and Anthony with a racist porn star. Shit's going good. It was like week three of Kumtown. Like we had no idea what was going on. But that was like one of the pinnacles of my career.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  You're like, alright, well, there's no stopping us now.

• 22:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was when like Kumia's racism was just, I mean, it was, he was still racist, but he wasn't like talking about, you know, put black people in zoos or whatever the fuck that like, this shit that got him like re- when he was really going next level with it, but yeah. At the time, it was like, I was like, nice. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't in your phone, it's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network, brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick.

• 23:38Stavros Halkias?

  They sponsor the Stobbies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh my god, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month. Or get the premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code STOVE. Terms apply.

• 24:00Speaker 05

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a White Claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life. By the Claw. White Claw.

• 24:26Speaker 06

  Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celta Works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:29Stavros Halkias?

  Soder had me on to guest host one time with, uh, when he wasn't there. That was really fun.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 24:35Stavros Halkias?

  But I was bad at it. I mean, I had not done any, I wasn't the professional, you see.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  It's a shame that everything fell apart after that, you know?

• 24:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  It's just a shame that you, that that was the best it ever got.

• 24:48Stavros Halkias?

  That was the pinnacle. I never got better. Uh, but now at least, now at least I'm a pro. So anyway, how healthy do you think your jizz is, Elvis? 10 years later, I mean, I've become way better at it. Just ignoring our guest to talk about our jizz for 10 minutes?

• 25:09Speaker 03

  No, but seriously, how is your jizz?

• 25:13Speaker 03

  We wanna know.

• 25:15Stavros Halkias?

  Nah, it's alright, man.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  I can tell you that I think, uh, not drinking and not smoking is like one of the first things they do. They go, don't drink and don't smoke.

• 25:23Stavros Halkias?

  I actually have, although I will say, this last European trip, boy, have I wanted to smoke cigarettes more than I have since I was like 20.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:33Stavros Halkias?

  Like I, you know, you're on vacation, you, you treat yourself to a couple of cigs and like, I have, since I've been back, like I didn't, but I really almost bought a pack of cigarettes, which I haven't done in like,

• 25:45Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know why this is. I know this isn't true, but it doesn't feel like European cigarettes can kill you.

• 25:53Speaker 03

  Like, they know they have the scary shit on it, but I'm like, this is such a bluff. Like,

• 25:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Look how long these people are living.

• 25:59Stavros Halkias?

  It is really true. I wonder what the science behind their cancer rates are. It's probably like smoking's bad for you, but it's like compared to everything else we do here.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:08Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, come on.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  It's gotta be the food.

• 26:10Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  I, I remember going there for like, Like a month while I was pregnant and not gaining any weight and all I did was eat like I was in Italy eating cheese.

• 26:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  For a month and I didn't gain any weight. It was the only time on pregnancy I I hadn't.

• 26:25Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  And I was like, what the fuck?

• 26:27Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking crazy. I mean, literally the same thing happened where the first, the week I got back, I had kind of maintained. And I was like not going fully crazy. I was like, alright, let's not overdo it. And I was walking a lot, whatever. I got back here, dude, and I just gained like five pounds. Cause I was just like, I still had vacation mindset.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:46Stavros Halkias?

  But it was with American snack foods and shit. And it was like, I still had the like, you know, a little pastry with breakfast.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 26:54Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, pastry with breakfast is one of the best vacation moves there is.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:57Stavros Halkias?

  Just a fucking coffee that's mostly milk.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  It doesn't feel complete.

• 27:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I wanted a cigarette so fucking. And then also part of me is like, probably what helped me not eat sometimes was smoke a couple of cigs. And then, you know, and then, and then, and so, I don't know, but I got very. I don't know why, again, I got back from Europe and I got like addicted to mac and cheese for like five days.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  I bet, dude, I bet you that all the fucking. I bet all the fucking, uh, whatever, the chemicals and shit that's in our food. I bet you'd like detox and you got like one bite of it.

• 27:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, probably.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  We gotta, we gotta re-up here.

• 27:34Stavros Halkias?

  You know what's funny? That's a hundred percent what happened. Cause I got back really late.

• 27:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:38Stavros Halkias?

  And there was nothing in my apartment to eat except like an emergency box of mac and cheese.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:44Stavros Halkias?

  And after I had one of those bites, bro, I had mac and cheese legit. All I had in my thing was like freezer full of like, you know, real good chicken tenders.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 27:54Stavros Halkias?

  And, and, uh, and you know, I'm, I'm like, oh, the calories aren't so bad, whatever.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:59Stavros Halkias?

  I have, the, literally that was my first meal was air fried chicken tenders and mac and cheese and I couldn't kick. That meal fucked me up so much more than like lamb chops and grease.

• 28:12Speaker 03

  It's the kind of, it's like a classic example of like the American food that's designed to like not, to like turn off your hunger.

• 28:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, true, true.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  You know?

• 28:21Stavros Halkias?

  And without any fiber, without any, no vegetables, no nothing. Like at least there I was throwing a little salad in the mix. I was getting something going, but. Yeah, it's hard. I'm having a very hard time kicking mac and cheese right now. I had a really hard time dude. Ice cream and mac and cheese are just.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Just try smoking crack.

• 28:41Stavros Halkias?

  If you told me I could smoke a little crack and like, uh, and I would.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  Like microdose?

• 28:47Stavros Halkias?

  I honestly, I would smoke crack. I'm not like, I'm not even like, I can't, in fact, I'm sort of curious what crack is like. Cause I'm not gonna snort cocaine ever again. I feel like that's bad for your heart.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:01Stavros Halkias?

  But I think one puff of crack.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:03Stavros Halkias?

  Wouldn't be that bad.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  Right.

• 29:05Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not gonna do it probably.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  I feel like you could like.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna do it probably. I mean, listen, if you came up and you offered it to me, am I gonna say no? No!

• 29:13Stavros Halkias?

  But that's the thing, it's like, I don't really, I'm not really running in.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Seeking it out.

• 29:16Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not running in crack circles. You know, I'm running in cocaine circles.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:20Stavros Halkias?

  But I'm not running in crack circles.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, you sort of have to come, come upon it. You have to.

• 29:25Stavros Halkias?

  Now, could there, I could see, especially off the heels of the Hunter Biden interview, which, you know, was a month, months ago at this point, but I will say, he did come off pretty cool. Like, he, I always was like, Hunter's cool, cause I thought he was just a guy who, you know, did drugs and fucked like sex workers, which to me is like, pretty, if you're gonna be a nepo baby.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. Do that with it.

• 29:47Stavros Halkias?

  Do it that way.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Do it that way.

• 29:49Stavros Halkias?

  You're not taking jobs from anyone. You're using your, your family's wealth to have a good time.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're putting money back in certain people's pockets. That's great. But then I was like, oh, this guy's like, kind of a, he's a smart, cool guy. Like, I would chill with Hunter Biden.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:05Stavros Halkias?

  With, I didn't, he was like, much cooler than I thought he would, you know, whatever, cause, you know, you.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  Well, you can't be a crackhead and be successful at it for years. You know, without, I think, a good amount of money and a shitload of charisma.

• 30:18Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, yeah, yeah.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  Cause you can't, you gotta be able to lie to people.

• 30:21Stavros Halkias?

  For sure, for sure. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. It does train you, being an addict does train you to have like, if you stop lying and you just put that into just being a likable, nice person.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's a lot of, that's a lot of like, energy you're not using for nefarious purposes.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:37Stavros Halkias?

  You can just be like a good guy.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:38Stavros Halkias?

  But I could see a sort of artisanal rebrand of crack.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:43Stavros Halkias?

  I really could see that.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:45Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like. You know, just like a cocaine, sort of like a way to do cocaine in a more, just like a cocaine rebrand in a way.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, just change the pipe.

• 30:55Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it used to be, I mean, yeah, the pipe's tough.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  The pipe is rough.

• 30:58Stavros Halkias?

  The metal little pipe is tough. You make it acrylic, although I guess, is that, does it have to be metal to hit those?

• 31:03Speaker 03

  I don't fucking know.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  Aren't they glass?

• 31:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're glass, they're glass, but yeah, cause you can, that's like, that's part of the thing is that you have to take your lips off it.

• 31:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  So you don't burn your lips.

• 31:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, that's tough.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  That's like the only time they have to like stop and go like, oh shit, I'm gonna burn my lips.

• 31:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if you figured that out, if you figured that out.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  You figured that out.

• 31:22Stavros Halkias?

  We've got to have some kind of space age polymer material that can, that can smoke, and it looks cool.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:28Stavros Halkias?

  And you just kind of have it in like a uniform cube.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  We need to get apple on this.

• 31:31Stavros Halkias?

  Like a sugar cube, yeah, no, I'm serious. And if you put, it's baking soda, if you put like, a little bit of like, I don't know. Cinnamon, no, no, not cinnamon, but like aromatics, like if you did like, essential oils in your crack or something like that.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  So it doesn't smell like burnt tires?

• 31:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 04

  They were basically talking like crack or cocaine vapes, which you know, you see about people doing shit like that, like.

• 31:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can do it with this.

• 31:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, totally.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Just get plastic.

• 31:57Speaker 04

  Melt it into the whatever fucking vitamin E or whatever, we're sucking on in those and.

• 32:03Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, I could see it.

• 32:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:05Stavros Halkias?

  Originally, freebasing cocaine before they really formulated crack and like, you know, made it cheaper, that was a rich person thing to do, it probably feels awesome, again.

• 32:14Speaker 03

  But I thought, no, freebasing, oh yeah, freebasing is smoking cocaine, right? Yeah, yeah.

• 32:19Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  I remember one time, so we like freebased perks in a bowl of weed.

• 32:24Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that.

• 32:25Speaker 04

  We just crushed some perks on, on some weed in a bowl.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  And we watched a Tonya Harding documentary.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Wait, this had to have been, how long ago was this?

• 32:33Speaker 04

  This was two thousand fourteen, maybe, so.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, alright, this is some shit I would have done in high school.

• 32:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, no, we, I had just moved, or maybe I was even visiting you.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  You were visiting.

• 32:43Stavros Halkias?

  I was visiting, so I hadn't even, I wasn't even living in New York yet, eldest was in this sad basement in Bed-Stuy.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:49Stavros Halkias?

  Where, where it was like, he was living with his friend, and, but it was his, his friend's parents.

• 32:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:55Stavros Halkias?

  And like, they were only char- charging eldest rent?

• 32:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:58Stavros Halkias?

  And it was like, his friend got to pretend he didn't live at home, but they were like, well, eldest has to pay. We don't need the money, but it's kind of a principal thing. Your poor friend who's, who's trying to figure it out right now.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 33:09Stavros Halkias?

  We're gonna gouge him.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 33:11Stavros Halkias?

  So you, a rich kid can just kind of live and pretend you have autonomy.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  But we're not gonna give you the basement. We're gonna teach you how to cohabitate with the underclass.

• 33:22Stavros Halkias?

  eldest was sort of like a lesson.

• 33:29Speaker 04

  At one point, I had to put my mattress in the living room for five weeks. Because my like closet was water damaged, so they had to.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  And there, and I was like, oh, this is great. Maybe I'll save on rent. And they were like, oh yeah, we'll charge you half rent.

• 33:46Stavros Halkias?

  Incredible.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  What the fuck?

• 33:48Stavros Halkias?

  To sleep in the fucking living room.

• 33:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:51Stavros Halkias?

  But it was.

• 33:51Speaker 04

  But shout out him.

• 33:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably a listener. Uh, shout out to him. Hey, eldest is doing fine now, but if he wasn't, you know.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  It would be your fault.

• 34:02Speaker 04

  But yeah, I think about, I think about that freebasing perks and it's like, you know, crack sounds really bad, but I think about that. I'm like, that seems maybe even worse.

• 34:11Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's worse. I think it's worse. It did feel cool.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 34:15Stavros Halkias?

  It was fucking awesome.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  There's no way.

• 34:18Stavros Halkias?

  Pain pills on weed was awesome.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  No way that, no way was it worse than crack.

• 34:23Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. Well, I guess that's true.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 34:26Stavros Halkias?

  I guess, you know what? I'm gonna call it a push. I think it's about the same.

• 34:29Speaker 04

  I guess it was probably more pure than crack. We knew what was actually in it more than actual crack, so.

• 34:35Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure, sure.

• 34:37Speaker 03

  What is it called? Oh, it's a speedball, right? When you're like smoking crack and heroin at the same time.

• 34:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, the classic thing that kills every fat entertainer.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Right, yeah, yeah.

• 34:46Stavros Halkias?

  The thing that scared me, even from, from the jump, I was like, I cannot be fucking with this stuff.

• 34:50Speaker 03

  Not an option for me.

• 34:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I am too fat to be doing shit like this. Even though when I've sort of done it by accident, when you're like, the very, very low rent version, which is like, you know, Adderall and weed, if you, or pills and like, you know, any, I mean, honestly, just more Adderall. It was really the only upper.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:08Stavros Halkias?

  I guess occasionally I would, or even cocaine and weed, whatever, it, you get why people do it.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:14Stavros Halkias?

  Feels fucking awesome.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 35:17Stavros Halkias?

  So that you were you were on that pills and what that was that was.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  It'd be so funny if you're like the one guy that just can't understand the appeal and you like finally do it like. Oh, this does feel good.

• 35:28Stavros Halkias?

  Doing drugs.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  My goodness.

• 35:31Stavros Halkias?

  This is why people died doing it because they tried to push it to the absolute limits and failed.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  I could see giving up my life for this.

• 35:38Stavros Halkias?

  Certain you you climb up Mount Everest, there's a fucking guy who fall who's dead on every fucking peak. All right, but to get to the top, you gotta do it.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  You gotta try. Yes.

• 35:48Stavros Halkias?

  I I'm almost dishonoring the fat comedians that died by stopping their work now. I stand on the shoulders of giants.

• 35:56Speaker 03

  Yes. We have to reach. We have to reach for the top.

• 36:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I mean, I guess I guess the that sounds more that sounds like because you were probably going to like a rich school where there were you had pills, you know what I mean like we had to get in high school, it was way more just we whatever we could find.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:17Stavros Halkias?

  You were a you were a little ahead of the curve, I would I would imagine.

• 36:20Speaker 03

  Every one of my friends' parents was on something.

• 36:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  You you go you know, you go to your friend's house, this is the first thing I learned.

• 36:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  As like a a rich kid in the suburbs, you go to somebody's house, you look in their medicine cabinet. I still fucking do it to this day. To this day, I go and I go like.

• 36:37Stavros Halkias?

  What do we got a little now you can Google it.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:40Stavros Halkias?

  Back in the day, you had to like try and remember it and then look it up later. There was no phones. I remember doing that in high school.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 36:47Speaker 03

  I you would just sort of be like, mm, OK, what's that? All right.

• 36:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I love the idea that like you would go to your your friend's parents' house and they were people that were like, we should get the poor hooked on these.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:58Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? They were they were like you guys had him before the opioid epidemic.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:02Stavros Halkias?

  It was like the very beginning of it. Like lobbyists were doing it like we could destroy West Virginia.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  No, because it definitely it like spread in West Virginia and then it came to the suburbs.

• 37:12Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  And then, you know, like all of these kids were like, what does my mom have in here? And then they'd take one, they'd be like, whoa, and then we'd all fucking do it.

• 37:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  And then all of a sudden, they're like, oh, now it's an epidemic.

• 37:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  Now we're calling it an epidemic.

• 37:27Stavros Halkias?

  When a couple like the kids at your prep school died.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:30Stavros Halkias?

  Then it's like.

• 37:31Speaker 03

  Then it's like, well, this is serious.

• 37:32Stavros Halkias?

  This is a big problem.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 37:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Quit fooling around.

• 37:37Stavros Halkias?

  It must have been chock full of like white wine and pill moms.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 37:42Stavros Halkias?

  Where you grew up around.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. Lot of, lot of pain pills, lot of fucking anti-anxiety, biking it, whatever, you know what I mean?

• 37:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  So you take that, and then you smoke weed, or you like crush it up, you put it on top of a pipe. You don't know what the fuck you're doing, you're just like trying shit out. And then the next thing you know, you're like, I can't drive.

• 38:03Stavros Halkias?

  Did you have like a, was there like a, cause a really sketchy moment? Do you remember like from your youth, the one where you're like, fuck, I've taken it too far? Was there ever a moment like that?

• 38:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, um, I mean, it wasn't like drug wise or anything, but I was like on mushrooms and I was, I had taken my dad and my sister to a fish show. In like New Jersey or something.

• 38:27Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, interesting.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  And we drove back.

• 38:29Stavros Halkias?

  I love the idea of your father.

• 38:31Speaker 03

  My father.

• 38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Who's maybe like, you know, I'm guessing the squarest.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  He's like a partner at a law firm that like, he, when, like when I was a kid, he was like a granola motherfucker, but then he like,

• 38:41Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  He like moved to like corporate law.

• 38:44Stavros Halkias?

  He did the George W. Bush kinda like prob, black sheep of a Republican family to, I've, I'm born again, I've put it all behind me.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 38:52Stavros Halkias?

  Kinda thing.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:53Stavros Halkias?

  Classic move.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  It was just like, too many kids. Like he didn't have an option, he had to be Republican.

• 38:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 38:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I gotta get, I gotta make money and I gotta leave my money.

• 39:02Stavros Halkias?

  Where you, he could have, he could have maybe gone to a, you know, the, a shittier suburb than where you were.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  For sure, yeah, but he was like, I'm not doing that.

• 39:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. No, I do love that even when.

• 39:14Speaker 03

  If you had brought that up to him, he'd be like, why?

• 39:16Stavros Halkias?

  Why? I don't wanna be, I grew up rich, I'm not gonna be fucking, you know, I'm just gonna like, like completely go against the morals I pretended to have in my twenties and just fucking stay rich, the fuck?

• 39:28Stavros Halkias?

  I was cosplaying, I was trying to make my dad mad.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, listen, my mom was dead, I had to hitch like.

• 39:35Stavros Halkias?

  My dad waited me out, he was right.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:38Stavros Halkias?

  I'm coming grovelling back.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I gotta do what I gotta do.

• 39:43Stavros Halkias?

  I do love that when you meet, like, when you do meet somebody who's just like, the, the percentage of someone who grew up around power that actually, when you're like, they're cool in their twenties, no one ever sticks to it.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  No.

• 39:57Stavros Halkias?

  No, they all go back, they all, it's always like, they always, yeah, it's, they're, they will never, it's so hard to get somebody who grew up with like that kind of access to power and privilege, whatever, to actually be a class traitor, really hard to do.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  I do think, actually, that it's gonna happen more, we're gonna see it happen more and more, because of just like, wealth inequality.

• 40:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Because people, like, even in our generation, where it's like, if you grew up with money, like, I grew up with money, but that's gonna end with me.

• 40:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, right, right, right, right.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  It's not getting passed down to my daughter.

• 40:29Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you're at least a couple generations removed, you know what I mean? I'm talking about like, the, the like, kids of the like.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 40:35Stavros Halkias?

  But, but you're right, though, even at the absolute top, the middle is contracting so much.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  So much.

• 40:41Stavros Halkias?

  That even the people that are pretty like, really rich adjacent, they're not gonna have, they're, it's.

• 40:47Speaker 03

  It's like, say bye-bye.

• 40:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's crumbling in a way, yeah, yeah.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Cause it's, they're coming for you.

• 40:52Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 40:52Speaker 03

  The millionaires even are like, you know, it's like, you got the billionaire class, and then you've got fucking the middle class, but they're just squeezing the shit out of them.

• 41:00Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  And the millionaires, they're like, they're not gonna come for us.

• 41:03Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  It's like, oh, honey.

• 41:05Stavros Halkias?

  Better start podcasting.

• 41:08Stavros Halkias?

  That's the only industry that's safe.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  They're coming for you.

• 41:12Stavros Halkias?

  Pick up a ZenCaster, baby.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  You're fucking dead, you're next.

• 41:21Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:22Stavros Halkias?

  It's so fucking hilarious that just podcasting is the only growth industry in America. How the fuck did this happen? I love just coming from the fucking, just the mud and then going this way, then just fucking four generation lawyers.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  I know.

• 41:41Stavros Halkias?

  Meeting them here. I'm right here right now. I'm seeing motherfuckers coming down. It's so fucking funny.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like, and it's, I mean, I don't think it's gonna, I think we're fucked right now, just generally speaking, because, sorry to be serious.

• 41:54Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, please.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  But like, you see all these people going like, oh, the left and the right, they're both fucking crazy. It's like, this is all such a fucking distraction from the fact that we're all gonna be fucking homeless.

• 42:06Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  We are all gonna be fucking homeless.

• 42:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's, it's so clear, I mean, this is the Republican playbook of like socially, starting from segregation. Literally, I mean, that's what turned the Republican Party is when they were like, lo, let's go all in on like segregation and take some of these Southern Democrats and that's how the, everything realigned. To then it became, okay, segregation to just generally like racism.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:30Stavros Halkias?

  To then they, they flipped that to, um, I mean, I guess Reagan sort of like, that was just like more of an economic thing where they were just like anti labor, but Karl Rove, I mean, George Bush's thing was always like, gay people are coming, like, we, we, there was like, we gotta make-

• 42:47Speaker 03

  The gays are coming.

• 42:48Stavros Halkias?

  The gays are trying to get married. We have to put, we have to put gay marriage initiatives on the ballot so that these people that don't like, cause to them, George Bush was like too moderate hilariously. They were like, they weren't happy to vote for him, but they're like, if we put gay marriage on the thing, they'll come to vote against that. And then since they're, they're there, they'll vote for the Republican.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 43:09Stavros Halkias?

  And they, we're seeing it now with all this fucking trans shit. I mean, we said it on, on another episode recently, but like, the Republican Party has become like hack comedians where it's like, if you don't have a punchline, you go for trans or autism.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  Right.

• 43:22Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that's the two big ones. And the trans shit is like, it's crazy how obsessed they are with it, but it's their, it is, it has become like this. The, they're just vilifying these people in a way that doesn't make any fucking sense.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  I don't think anyone is that fucking concerned with it. I don't think anyone is like

• 43:39Stavros Halkias?

  They are.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  That, I don't think, and I was talking about it in Texas like last week. And one person, there was like one couple that came up to me afterwards. And I was like, yeah, I don't think anybody's like thinking about everyone's genitals that much.

• 43:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  And they, both of them were like Republicans, they were like, well, we are.

• 43:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, well, we're fucking weird.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  We're thinking about it.

• 43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  I was like, oh, okay.

• 44:00Stavros Halkias?

  And it's also like, dude, who fu- I mean, anyway, whatever, but you're right. The, ultimately, the culture war stuff is the oldest, simplest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life. And even now, they're so desperate that they're like martyring a guy who, whatever, the guy shouldn't have been killed, but it's like, you weren't fucking watching Charlie Kirk like that.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  And, yeah.

• 44:21Stavros Halkias?

  You weren't fucking coming home from a hard day's work.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:24Stavros Halkias?

  Of microwaving some fuck, you weren't eating leftovers and firing on fucking Turning Point USA. You weren't watching that shit. You just weren't. You didn't care that much.

• 44:33Speaker 03

  I'm like, you just found out who he is, and now he's getting a fucking WrestleMania funeral.

• 44:38Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, the pyrotechnics at the funeral.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  Was crazy.

• 44:40Stavros Halkias?

  He's nuts. His wife coming out like Batista. Coming out, coming out like Triple H. It's like, what the fuck?

• 44:48Speaker 03

  I know, just groping Trump.

• 44:51Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, Eldis, you know, uh, it's come to my attention that one of my employees has been posting, has been pu- has been dis- you, uh, you're, get ready for a disciplinary hearing here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. Why don't you pu- pull up the disgusting tweet that you, that you posted? Because I've seen, a lot of people are calling for you to be, for you to face Jimmy Kimmel style, uh, Jimmy Kimmel style, uh, justice.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  When I put this up, I knew I'd run into some shit with my employer, but I was scared of the ramifications.

• 45:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, let's show it up.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Free speech must live on.

• 45:31Stavros Halkias?

  Let's show it to our guest, Eldis posted.

• 45:35Stavros Halkias?

  And he said, I got your bitch with me.

• 45:43Stavros Halkias?

  And you know what, Eldis?

• 45:44Speaker 03

  Oh, that's good.

• 45:45Stavros Halkias?

  I will not stand for my employee being so crass and disgusting.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  These maga fucks fucking up my career.

• 45:55Stavros Halkias?

  You're suspended, Eldis.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  This, the first, second amendment? No, first amendment.

• 46:06Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking idiot.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Hey, this is a seventeen, twenty.

• 46:11Stavros Halkias?

  But anyway, yes, the, the culture war stuff is so pathetic and so transparent.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 46:15Stavros Halkias?

  And, and, and it's, it's gotten crazier because of how like blatantly they have just been robbing people.

• 46:23Speaker 03

  Can I be honest with you? It's kind of fucking annoying me on a comedic, like on a comedy level.

• 46:27Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  In a way that like is making me feel like, like it feels like my fucking husband got fat or something.

• 46:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. How dare you?

• 46:35Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm just, you know what I'm saying?

• 46:36Stavros Halkias?

  You're also, you're also suspended.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  I'm just like, I just feel like comedy itself is like, I'm like, how do we let ourselves go like this? This is fucking gross.

• 46:45Stavros Halkias?

  No, believe me, you think I want to talk publicly about politics?

• 46:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:50Stavros Halkias?

  I hate it. I hate having to say, like, obviously I have my own politics and I feel very strongly.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Because you're sane about it.

• 46:56Stavros Halkias?

  But that's what I mean is like, it's gotten so annoying that like,

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  you sort of have to say something because especially, especially if we're talking about free speech, right? The one thing comedians should kind of weigh in on is freedom of speech. And for anyone that was supporting Trump on a free speech thing, right? Let's throw everything else out, right? Let's, let's find, like, let's agree to disagree on the tear, on ruining the economy. Even on, I mean, I mean, I won't say like ice falls under freedom of speech because we're talking about uh masked masked masked agents like who we're talking about a secret police

• 47:35Speaker 03

  rounding people up

• 47:36Stavros Halkias?

  it's fucking

• 47:37Speaker 03

  no due process

• 47:38Stavros Halkias?

  truly yeah no due process

• 47:39Speaker 03

  ripping their children out of their fucking hands

• 47:41Stavros Halkias?

  due process is such an important part of like having the freedom of speech

• 47:44Speaker 03

  yeah

• 47:44Stavros Halkias?

  be able to to defend yourself and like look the Jimmy Kimmel stuff was obviously bullshit but scarier than that is the fact that they have stopped you're not allowed to to

• 47:54Speaker 03

  wait what do you mean the Jimmy Kimmel stuff was bullshit though?

• 47:57Stavros Halkias?

  I mean the FCC like like

• 47:58Speaker 03

  oh yeah yeah

• 47:59Stavros Halkias?

  threatening a private company and leaning on them to be like

• 48:03Speaker 03

  yes

• 48:04Stavros Halkias?

  this will fuck up your business we the government can fuck up your pockets

• 48:07Speaker 03

  yeah

• 48:08Stavros Halkias?

  if you don't do what we like that's crazy

• 48:10Speaker 03

  right

• 48:11Stavros Halkias?

  but crazier than that is the fact that like what's happening with like campus uh like when we're talking about the ability to uh protest anything but specifically Gaza and Israel and it's like the fact that they are completely silencing students they're calling them anti Semites they're they're getting these kids like arrested uh Mahmoud Khalil deporting the fucking guy because he because he is expressing his freedom of speech in a country where that's the whole fucking point

• 48:43Speaker 03

  right

• 48:44Stavros Halkias?

  that's the scare that's way more important than fucking Jimmy Kimmel no disrespect

• 48:48Speaker 03

  and that also comes down to the fact that like if you if you really look at it even down to the FCC shit

• 48:54Stavros Halkias?

  yeah

• 48:55Speaker 03

  if you're a billionaire right and there's two ways that this could go it's like further right or fucking tax the rich

• 49:02Stavros Halkias?

  yeah

• 49:03Speaker 03

  who the fuck are you gonna fund?

• 49:04Stavros Halkias?

  I know

• 49:05Speaker 03

  you know what I mean?

• 49:06Stavros Halkias?

  this idea that like they do a great job of messaging because a lot of people in the last like I remember going on Theo's podcast and saying that the far right is always backed by big business and moneyed interest and they have they people think like that's not true the Democrats are the p- party of big business and it's like To a certain extent, th- th- this is the Democrats fault because they have become a centrist corporate party.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:32Stavros Halkias?

  That does not care about the working class.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:34Stavros Halkias?

  And so they're not that indistinguishable from Republicans.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  They're not.

• 49:38Stavros Halkias?

  Even though historically, obviously the far, I mean, it's like, read a fucking history book. The far right is always connected to mon- to industry.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  If you look at how bad it's gotten since the beginning of Citizens United.

• 49:50Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, that's the craziest thing that's ever fucking happened.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  It's like, it's just spiraled completely out of fucking control.

• 49:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, and any, and, and the, i- if like, corporations and businesses have the, they have freedom of speech, but a college kid who's saying like, "I don't think all my fucking tax dollars should go towards a genocide." They don't have freedom of speech. We're so, so fucked.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  We're so non-fucked.

• 50:14Stavros Halkias?

  Slurs are not worth it. This is the saddest part. They have proven the dork, the dorks, the tattletale dorks right.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:23Stavros Halkias?

  I hate to admit it, but it's like, everyone that was mad at Calm Town. I'd rather live in their world than our world.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 50:30Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I would rather live librarian-ass bitches saying, telling me I can't say a joke, even, even if it's a joke.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 50:38Stavros Halkias?

  I would so much rather have that, because by the way, we were fine. We were like, ultimately, it was a little annoying, maybe it was a little hard to get on TV, but that led us to the internet, which is the place where you actually build a fucking career. But it's like, I'd rather take an annoying fucking, you know, she-they telling me I can't say fuck, you can't say retard. That's, we need to sacri- retard needs to die on the cross like Christ. To bring, to bring woke back.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Just put the word up there.

• 51:08Stavros Halkias?

  Put it up there, let it get crucified. We need to bring woke back after three days. And we need to stop having masked agents. Like, it's not that good of a, it's like.

• 51:18Speaker 03

  It's a fucking, it's no, you can't live like this.

• 51:21Stavros Halkias?

  You idiots don't get that the only reason something's fun to say is just because it's not allowed?

• 51:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like, that's the whole point, dude. That's why it's fun, you fucking dumbasses. You can't just, anyway, whatever.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  You do, they basically ruined things for themselves and everyone else, and it's like. Like, I, I mean, I just watch it and I go, it's fucking embarrassing. Like,

• 51:41Stavros Halkias?

  I know.

• 51:42Speaker 03

  When I watch like comics doing it, I'm like, are you that fucking scared to be funny in a different way? To like have to reach a little further?

• 51:50Stavros Halkias?

  Just try and be funny.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  Something funny, you know what I mean? Like, are you leaning that fucking hard on the word retard?

• 51:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, get creative.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  And listen, that's somebody I, listen, whenever I'm bombing, I tell a fucking retard joke.

• 52:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure, absolutely.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  But I'm just like, let me get these people back real quick.

• 52:06Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course. Listen, what happens in those rooms when you're bombing? What happens on a fuck, the Saturday Late Show in a, in a 400-seat improv for some reason?

• 52:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's half sold?

• 52:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's between you and God.

• 52:19Stavros Halkias?

  Then that's the beauty of live performance, by the way.

• 52:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's also why, that's why, like, you can't ultimately touch stand-up because it's like, it actually happens in the fucking room.

• 52:29Speaker 03

  Right.

• 52:29Stavros Halkias?

  Don't worry about the internet, don't worry about getting famous, try and be a funny fucking person, but... Anyway, we're, it's, it is really fucking pathetic, but, you know, unfortunately, they've made, they've made me a crusader for woke. Bring woke back.

• 52:45Stavros Halkias?

  Bring it back, tattle on me, let me lose, you know what I mean?

• 52:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:49Stavros Halkias?

  Like, fucking, if I, if I get to, if my career goes well enough that I get to be in a fucking cartoon, let an annoying mom who doesn't, hasn't had sex in 20 years say, "Have you seen what he said 30, you know, 15 years ago?" He can't be a fat squirrel in a Pixar movie. Fine, fine. If that's what it takes, if that's what it takes to like demolish Alligator Alcatraz, great.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:14Stavros Halkias?

  I don't need to be,

• 53:15Speaker 03

  I'll take the L.

• 53:15Stavros Halkias?

  I don't need to be a woodchuck, a fat woodchuck in a DreamWorks movie. Because I was on Come Town when I was 20, when I was 26. I don't know. I think my cheeks, I think I would do really well at that.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Actually, yeah, you'd be a cutie little, a little cutie pie.

• 53:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, thank you, you see it.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:30Stavros Halkias?

  Um, we should, let's, let's plug here at the midway point, we're gonna do some calls, obviously.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:35Stavros Halkias?

  What do you have to plug here, Rosie?

• 53:37Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm on tour.

• 53:38Stavros Halkias?

  On tour.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  I am on tour right now. All the tickets are at rosebudbaker.com and, uh, and also, check out my Netflix special, uh, The Motherload.

• 53:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yes. Great special, watch it on Netflix. Um, and go see, go see Rosebud on tour. She's got a, she's got a beautiful baby girl who's indistinguishable, who right now is non-binary until, until her curls come in.

• 53:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, all babies are.

• 54:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that is true. If you want to understand what being non-binary is, look at a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the people that don't grow out of that, that's who they are.

• 54:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 54:09Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good, that's a good way to look at it. You're like, oh, you, you should just be wearing overalls.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  Like a little minion.

• 54:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. All right, Aldous, what do we got here, buddy?

• 54:21Speaker 00

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends, everything else in life can wait. Your friends shouldn't. Let's go. White Claw. Grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavors. White Claw's also works, Chicago, Illinois.

• 54:36Speaker 07

  Hey, what's up, guys? It's Haley Bailey. Okay, I need to tell you about something. I just got YouTube Premium. It's got tons of awesome features like offline downloads, so I can download my favorite videos before I travel and watch them whenever I don't have Wi-Fi. Because we all know airplane Wi-Fi is the worst. I get ad-free, I get backroom play, and there's like a ton more in there. You should try it. If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. Try it now for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. That's a mouthful.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Hi, Savi. Hi, Aldous. Hi, assumed guests. Um, so my situation is interesting. It's more of a, how do I go about changing someone's behavior sort of thing?

• 55:19Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. Can you give some more volume?

• 55:20Speaker 03

  So I've been dating this guy for about a year, and, you know, great relationship, awesome sex, uh, especially, you know, eats pussy real good.

• 55:29Stavros Halkias?

  Good news.

• 55:31Speaker 03

  But, uh, so the question I have, so my partner is neuroinferior, um, not so much in a socially awkward way, but more in the way that they have a lot of, um, physical

• 55:45Stavros Halkias?

  So you know, sort of like licking the lips or uh biting on pens or um things like that. But one of the things he does is that he often will put his hand like down his pants like underneath the underwear and like you know, kind of uh feel around and then big the hand back up and then give that a big old whiff. Oh no.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 56:10Stavros Halkias?

  Just a deep whiff, like not even really subtle, like um. And this happens a lot mostly when we're hanging out, like either, you know, on the couch or in bed or whatever, just hang like, you know, um taking it easy, but um it's happened a few times when we've been in public and

• 56:28Speaker 03

  Dating Mary Catherine Gallagher.

• 56:30Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for real. What the fuck? Arm pit a sniff or something like that. Um but you know, I don't want people to get the wrong idea and also it's a little gross to be honest.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:42Stavros Halkias?

  What do you mean a little gross? You know, I'm used to being suggesting themselves in public or whatever, but in this instance, it's just so blatant and I've called him out on it like with the house before and been like, oh, hey, do you need a washcloth or like, you know? A washcloth? What the fuck? You're gonna give him a sponge bath on the couch?

• 57:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:00Stavros Halkias?

  What the fuck are you talking about? Anyway, finish it. Sorry. Um but you know, he's been like, oh, I'm sorry. Like, you know, uh. But I think he's, it's just so unconscious. I don't think it's anything that he's doing like purposefully. Um but do you have any advice for kind of shifting someone's behavior when they're kind of doing something that, you know, doesn't look too good in public? Um like, I don't know, with like dog treating or like, you know, clicker treating or whatever, but um what ideas do you have for someone like me who has a great partner, but they do some sort of annoying or uh odd behavior that could be?

• 57:38Speaker 07

  You know, perceived as being sort of inappropriate.

• 57:44Stavros Halkias?

  Fucking insane.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. This is, can I just say, this is what, this is what women do when someone eats pussy so good.

• 57:53Stavros Halkias?

  True, true. I guess that's true. I mean, if I'm thinking about-

• 57:57Speaker 03

  She's just going, she's just going, like, I can change that if it's fine, he'll still eat my pussy. You know what I mean?

• 58:03Stavros Halkias?

  He sniffs his nuts, and that is true, and by the way, that is the power of like, getting great head, for sure.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:09Stavros Halkias?

  Some of, the most, the most I've put up with is somebody who's awesome at fucking.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:13Stavros Halkias?

  And that is an important lesson ultimately.

• 58:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 58:16Stavros Halkias?

  But also, what the fuck is this lady talking about? She's also saying he's neurodivergent, it's like, there's no way this is his fucking like, specific tic.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:26Stavros Halkias?

  Like, maybe if he had some kind of physical Tourette's, like, I guess I have, if he has some kind of Tourette's thing where it's like, you have to do something fucked up.

• 58:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:34Stavros Halkias?

  But this is not, what are you talking about? Your boyfriend smells his dick in public.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  If he had Tourette's, you would know, right?

• 58:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:43Speaker 03

  Like, she wouldn't just say neurodivergent.

• 58:45Stavros Halkias?

  Also, she's, her, her, her examples of stims are like-

• 58:48Speaker 03

  She would say Tourette's.

• 58:49Stavros Halkias?

  Chewing on a fucking pen cap or fit, like, you're talking about a fidgety guy.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 58:53Stavros Halkias?

  Which like, look-

• 58:54Speaker 03

  She's like, but then there's this one tic.

• 58:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. You have completely over-intellectualized this. Your boyfriend smell, your boyfriend goes Al Bundy mode plus smell.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:06Stavros Halkias?

  Smelling your nuts is crazy.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  What you need to do is-

• 59:09Stavros Halkias?

  Taking a whiff of your nuts in front of another person.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  You've got to embarrass him.

• 59:14Stavros Halkias?

  Shamelessly?

• 59:14Speaker 03

  You've got to embarrass him.

• 59:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  You gotta just be like, next time he does it at dinner, no matter who's with you, you gotta be like, did you just put your hand down your pants and smell your own nuts at the table? You need to say it out loud.

• 59:27Stavros Halkias?

  Even you saying that, in like, a quoting her to a different guy, just hearing you say that to me, I was embarrassed, didn't, I didn't do it.

• 59:38Speaker 03

  You've got to just-

• 59:38Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Just, just hearing that accusatory tone about that.

• 59:43Speaker 03

  Yeah. You gotta hold up a mirror and be like, that's fucking disgusting.

• 59:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and I think you're so right, Rosebud, where it's like, yeah, he's just good at fucking and he got an insane pass.

• 59:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:53Stavros Halkias?

  Like, probably the first time he did this, he had just made her bust four times.

• 59:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:57Stavros Halkias?

  And she's like, who cares?

• 59:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's like, I can't even see.

• 1:00:00Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, who gives a fuck? And like, it probably happened a few times where that, and now you feel weird bringing it up? But this is just one of the most classic version calls we get where it's like you just have to have a conversation here. This is fucking insane.

• 1:00:17Speaker 03

  And I watch what happens. He'll he'll eat your pussy better that night.

• 1:00:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 1:00:21Speaker 03

  Really will.

• 1:00:22Stavros Halkias?

  It's true.

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  You embarrass him, he's gonna have to, you know.

• 1:00:25Stavros Halkias?

  He could be.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  Double down.

• 1:00:27Stavros Halkias?

  He could go, he could get off on that. You never know.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, this is just crazy. You have completely convinced yourself it's deeper than it is. Bringing in his neurodivergence. Like, by the way, do you mean he's fucking A D D? Cause it's like, this is not an explanation. Unless there's some kind of like, you don't need to dog chase, you need to be like, like, this is literally what, like, how you teach a baby stuff.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, you need to put his face in it.

• 1:00:52Stavros Halkias?

  No, yeah. He might like it. He's smelling his own balls.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  You gotta be like, this is fucking.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:02Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, you just have to be like, this is gross. Stop doing this.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:01:06Stavros Halkias?

  Like, what would you do if he like, I don't even like, like, what's another girl? I don't even know, like, if he like fucking trimmed his toenails. If he, if he like took his feet out.

• 1:01:17Speaker 03

  His own toenails.

• 1:01:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and just like, what if he like, took his shoes off, rubbed the inside of his toes and was like, you know what I mean? Like, you'd be like, what the fuck? He's doing something that's like, it's a level under that, but it's fucking weird. The smell. And it's not even like, you caught him once where he thought he was alone, like, he just does this in front of you? That's fucking crazy. So, yeah. Stand up, have a little, show a little backbone and be like, please stop smelling your balls at the dinner table.

• 1:01:45Speaker 03

  You fucking goon.

• 1:01:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's crazy. Insane.

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  Rosebud, can you put your can on the floor?

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  My what?

• 1:01:54Speaker 04

  Put your can on the floor.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  Oh, why?

• 1:01:59Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa, what the hell's going on? Huh?

• 1:02:05Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit, it's time to, it's time to keep it twisted, folks, that's right. It's the motherfucking twisted ass fucked up question of the week.

• 1:02:17Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit, I love keeping it twisted, Rose, but I know you're sober, but I'm sure at a different time in your life-

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  I was so scared I was gonna have to break the news to you. With the music on, I was like, oh no!

• 1:02:29Stavros Halkias?

  I know, at a time in your life, you also kept it very, very twisted.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  Yes, I did.

• 1:02:35Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis, what's the motherfucking ass fucked up twisted question of the week?

• 1:02:41Speaker 07

  Hey, Stavi, uh, Eldis, esteemed guests. I was just calling because, um, well, about a year ago, I had a pretty, uh, big problem. And, uh, I wanted to, you know, get your guys' opinion if I did the right thing.

• 1:02:56Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, okay.

• 1:02:59Speaker 07

  Me and my father-in-law were really close with one another. He never had a son, I never really had a dad.

• 1:03:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's cute.

• 1:03:05Speaker 07

  And we were at, we were bros also, like, we'd drink, play pool, uh, fish together.

• 1:03:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's nice.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:03:13Speaker 07

  But, threw out a party about a year ago, and...

• 1:03:19Speaker 07

  He told me that he was having an emotional affair-

• 1:03:24Stavros Halkias?

  Uh-oh.

• 1:03:25Speaker 07

  Something physical-

• 1:03:27Stavros Halkias?

  Daddy's keeping it twisted.

• 1:03:28Speaker 07

  With one of the girls that was at that party.

• 1:03:30Speaker 03

  Uh-oh.

• 1:03:30Speaker 07

  And, uh-

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  Yikes.

• 1:03:34Stavros Halkias?

  This is-

• 1:03:34Speaker 07

  He made me promise not to tell anybody.

• 1:03:36Stavros Halkias?

  This is when you're too close to your father-in-law.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Stavros Halkias?

  When your father-in-law-

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  He may cross the line.

• 1:03:42Stavros Halkias?

  When your father-in-law thinks he can confide about cheating? You're married to his daughter?

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  Keep it twisted, yeah.

• 1:03:51Stavros Halkias?

  I will say, your father-in-law is keeping it very fucking twisted. Alright, keep going, Eldis, let's see what else is going on here.

• 1:03:59Speaker 07

  With one of the girls that was at that party, and, uh...

• 1:04:06Speaker 07

  He made me promise not to tell anybody, keep it between us, you know?

• 1:04:11Speaker 04

  But uh, I haven't told my wife, I haven't told her mother, of course. But uh, just kinda wanna get your read on that, see if uh, get your opinion, see if I did the right thing, or if not, if I could fix that, maybe come clean about something, or if I should just hold on to it. But uh, yeah, I love the podcast, man.

• 1:04:32Stavros Halkias?

  This is twisted as hell.

• 1:04:33Speaker 04

  Appreciate everything you do, make my work days go by quicker. So, thank you.

• 1:04:38Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. I mean, this is fucking insane.

• 1:04:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is fucking great.

• 1:04:42Stavros Halkias?

  This is a twisted question.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  This is like a whole reality TV season, right here.

• 1:04:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I mean, you really could get a lot of, there's a lot of meat on this bone.

• 1:04:50Speaker 03

  Oh, absolutely. I want more details, you know what I mean?

• 1:04:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I mean, I guess my limiting factor is I cannot fathom being this close to a father-in-law.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:05:03Stavros Halkias?

  Like, and again, I haven't been in many relationships, I've barely met dads, and even if I did, it's like, you know, there've been like regularly, you know? I also don't really respect father figures. This would never happen to me, right? Like, I would never.

• 1:05:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:19Stavros Halkias?

  This would just ne- I would, he would know that I love my wife more than him.

• 1:05:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:24Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I obviously would, like, like, I just, having said that, you know, he's in, I mean.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  This had to have happened after a moment where this guy had to have been like, "I love you, man," you know, like, "you're like a father to me," and he's like, "now's when I tell him, or else..."

• 1:05:43Stavros Halkias?

  I've been thinking about getting pussy from the lady at the country club.

• 1:05:47Speaker 03

  That's the other thing is, it's gotta be more than an emotional affair. No man is looking at another man and being like, "I have, I have something to confess."

• 1:05:56Stavros Halkias?

  That could have been him, sort of like, that could have been the, like, canary in the coal mine of like, if he holds this down. No, no, it could be like, if he doesn't snitch on this, that I can, I can trust him with the reality, I've been fucking her for four months.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:06:10Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like, he leaked something that he could come back from.

• 1:06:14Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:06:15Stavros Halkias?

  To see if he would snitch, and now that he doesn't, he's kind of earned his, now- He'll confine him for whatever.

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  Alternatively, I think like, he says this happened, he confessed this a year ago. I think he could have told him, and then this guy hasn't heard about it ever since, ever again. Maybe the dad just started like fucking this woman and he was like, you know, he was like, oh, I'm into deep. Why did I even tell him that shit in the first place? I need to like, keep this to myself and.

• 1:06:45Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, listen, yes.

• 1:06:46Speaker 04

  Under wraps.

• 1:06:47Stavros Halkias?

  I, I guess another reading of that is like, he just slipped up and said it on the, on the point of a precipice, on the precipice of it.

• 1:06:56Stavros Halkias?

  It, it also could just be. Yeah, I mean, I guess those are the two options, but. In my opinion, he's ruined your relationship here.

• 1:07:07Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:07:07Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he put you in an, an impossible, if he actually was your dog.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:12Stavros Halkias?

  He would eat this, but he is kind of like, he's kind of like coming to you for support in cheating on your mother-in-law and like. And potentially ruining your wife's family.

• 1:07:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if he was a true bro, he would understand this putting you in an impossible position. He would, if he was gonna cheat, he was gonna cheat, and then he would sort of let the fallout happen, let his family deal with it.

• 1:07:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:39Stavros Halkias?

  And you would have to take your cues from his wa- from your wife, his daughter, and when the, when the dust settled, and it could be years from now. Maybe you guys could pick up that relate, like, if anything, he should have seen you as collateral to cheating even. Like, if you guys are that close and you're like a, a son to him.

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  He definitely should have seen that as like a, maybe I don't.

• 1:08:00Stavros Halkias?

  I don't blow this up, or I don't even cheat, cause it's like, this could fuck up not only my, you know.

• 1:08:06Speaker 03

  Not go crazy.

• 1:08:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm, I'm just saying if he's really.

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  Man's been married for a long time.

• 1:08:11Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, alright. I'm just saying, if this is really a Disney movie, where it's like you meet your, your dad, the dad you never had.

• 1:08:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like, not only. Does he not tell you, but maybe he's like, fuck, I would really, if I did this and I got found out, I could fuck up. That's another member of my family, I lose whatever.

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  But do you think, I mean.

• 1:08:31Stavros Halkias?

  Now, how do you handle it then?

• 1:08:33Speaker 03

  I would, I still would not, this is the thing that threw me off, is that you suggesting that he's giving him this so that he can tell him more.

• 1:08:40Stavros Halkias?

  It's possible, I'm just saying.

• 1:08:42Speaker 03

  I hadn't considered that, that's crazy, cuz I was gonna be like, just don't say anything, die with it, you know what I mean?

• 1:08:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:08:49Speaker 03

  But if this is gonna be something where he then tells you more, and like, oh, you know that lady? That I said I was having an emotional affair with, well, she's pregnant.

• 1:09:00Speaker 03

  It's like, then you're like, oh, fuck.

• 1:09:01Stavros Halkias?

  But we're naming it after you.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. Cool.

• 1:09:05Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but I will say, yes, but I, but at the same time, he, that could have been the way to read him, and by not doing anything, but just kinda freezing. He might have just been like, okay, he's not gonna snitch on me, but he wasn't like, nice dude, tell me about it, right?

• 1:09:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you're kind of in the middle there, how do you handle it? The problem is, he has now forced a secret between you and your wife, which is really fucked up.

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:31Stavros Halkias?

  And.

• 1:09:34Stavros Halkias?

  Ultimately, dude, I mean, yeah, your options here are, your options here are, he is forced, he is basically, you guys are both standing on a landmine.

• 1:09:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:46Stavros Halkias?

  And if anybody moves, it blows up, right?

• 1:09:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:49Stavros Halkias?

  So your options are, stand on the landmine till you die, or call in the tactical bomb squad, which is telling your wife.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  I don't know if that's.

• 1:09:57Stavros Halkias?

  And you try and defuse it together, but by the way.

• 1:09:59Speaker 03

  I don't know if that's the move, though.

• 1:10:01Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just saying, those are your two options, your two options are like, take it to the grave, but if he does anything else. You fucking tell your wi- like, like what I'm saying is, if there's any movement, you call in the bomb squad, and even though there's a very hard bomb to defuse. It's probably a ten percent, you have to call it in, if anything changes.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, if anything changes, then you tell your wife, but I would say that, right as it is now, I wouldn't tell her.

• 1:10:26Stavros Halkias?

  This is really tough.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  I really think that you're like, you're making her go, okay, just in my experience with like, my girlfriends, when I find out that somebody's cheating on one of my girlfriends. And I tell them. They ditch me. They don't ditch their boyfriend.

• 1:10:42Stavros Halkias?

  I think this is different though.

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  Even if you're her husband, I think if you're going like your dad is cheating, I think she's gonna pick her dad. I think she's probably gonna defend her dad.

• 1:10:52Stavros Halkias?

  I don't, I don't know that's true. And I think like,

• 1:10:55Speaker 03

  Well, I guess he would know. It's like if you know what the relationship is between them.

• 1:10:59Stavros Halkias?

  I also think it's not even about snitching. It's about being like, I don't want to lie to you ever. You know what I mean? Which is like, ideally, that is what you want out of a marriage from important, like, look, white lies, whatever. But we're talking about like, this guy is forcing you of no ill, like, you didn't do anything to have to hold this level of secret.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  But that's why I think you're unloading your fucking guilt onto her. But in this way, because right now, there's, nothing has happened supposedly.

• 1:11:31Stavros Halkias?

  You're protecting her, but basically you're saying, yeah, his guilt, but also like, her dad's comfort is more important. Than keeping honesty between your spouse?

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  I'm saying that the wife's comfort is more important.

• 1:11:46Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm, that in a way, keeping the secret is just easier for the wife.

• 1:11:50Speaker 03

  Keeping her comfortable.

• 1:11:50Stavros Halkias?

  Now, what if it comes out? And then it's like, he's known about this for?

• 1:11:55Speaker 03

  No, he hasn't.

• 1:11:57Stavros Halkias?

  Right. Cause who tells him?

• 1:11:59Speaker 04

  I think he has coverage. I'm kinda with you, Rosebud, especially because like, it's only emotional cheating. For all intents and purposes, like, the, the caller is still in the dark. He doesn't know what else has happened. He hasn't learned any new information.

• 1:12:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:12:15Speaker 04

  Maybe if his father-in-law tries to leak something a little more tangible to him, it's time to go nuclear.

• 1:12:22Speaker 03

  I would also say like, maybe stop hanging out with him so much.

• 1:12:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, totally. No, this is over. This, he's fucked everything up. But that's a good point. If he tries to keep it any more twisted. Then he has to completely fucking be like, your dad was saying some weird shit, I thought he was drunk. And now he's bringing it up again, like, do you think your dad would ever cheat, like, you could even say it that way. Where it was like, your dad was being kinda fucking weird, I don't even know what the fuck he was saying, like, he was looking at that bitch Martha with, you know, whatever, like,

• 1:12:50Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:12:51Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know, was something going on between them, he was being weird at a party a couple, like a, like a last year, but I just chalked it up to him being kinda strange and being a horny old guy.

• 1:12:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:00Stavros Halkias?

  Do you think, like, you could maybe handle it that way, I guess that's,

• 1:13:03Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:13:04Stavros Halkias?

  I guess that's true, you could minimize this and lie to yourself even, and,

• 1:13:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:08Stavros Halkias?

  And keep it just twisted enough.

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:10Stavros Halkias?

  And I would say, this man has lost his twisted tea privileges with you. He doesn't get to enjoy an ice cold twisted tea at a family reunion with you, no. He has to drink lukewarm, other malt beverages that aren't brewed with real iced tea. He has kept it too twisted, and that'll do it, that'll do it for this, this week's twisted ass motherfucking question of the week.

• 1:13:38Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:13:41Speaker 03

  When you started playing that music, and you brought out the fucking twisted tea, I was like,

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  Ah, I have a disease.

• 1:13:49Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, I, you know, we got it, we got, yeah, yeah, oh, your flashback, you're like, am I riding a bull in Northern Virginia? Am I on a fucking mechanical bull, fucking, in daisy dukes, seventeen years old with a fake ID?

• 1:14:05Speaker 03

  Trying to fuck a forty-five year old?

• 1:14:09Stavros Halkias?

  Trying to fuck this guy's father-in-law?

• 1:14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, that's wild.

• 1:14:18Speaker 03

  That is twisted.

• 1:14:19Stavros Halkias?

  That is, he kept it too twisted, what else do we have, Eldis?

• 1:14:21Speaker 03

  I loved that.

• 1:14:22Stavros Halkias?

  That was good, that was a, that was a philosophical quandary.

• 1:14:26Speaker 03

  I got a, I finally got a question, uh, to shoot your way. So, I've been dating my fiance, we are engaged, uh, we've been together around six years. And, you know, everything's been good, and everything's been very cool, very copacetic.

• 1:14:42Speaker 06

  But um, you know, the other day she uh was telling me that she's been having a uh a lot of dreams about her past. She still works at her old fucked up job. She's still living with her fucked up dad. All this sort of stuff is coming back in her dreams and shit. And today, uh, we were talking on the phone and she calls me by her ex's name. Uh, I mentioned to her, I mentioned, mentioned it to her, you know, like, what the fuck did you just? What did you call me? And she's, you know, tried to brush it off. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know where that came from. Uh, and you know, as far as, I never met the guy, but as far as

• 1:15:25Speaker 06

  she tells me, she doesn't fucking like this guy and you know, we've been dating for a long fucking time. I don't think she's talked to him. Um, but I don't know. Am I being insecure here? That was kind of fucked up to me. That was weird. Uh, I didn't make too much of a deal of it when it happened, but you know, it, I mean, it's not fucking normal. That's for goddamn sure. Um. Yeah, love you.

• 1:15:48Stavros Halkias?

  He's like an early Adam Sandler character.

• 1:15:51Speaker 03

  What the hell's going on?

• 1:15:55Speaker 03

  Are you fucking your ass?

• 1:16:03Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, this is interesting, but if it's one, okay. What I'm confused about is the dreams element. Why are you talking about the dreams about her past?

• 1:16:16Speaker 03

  It seems like something that she would have brought up to, to say.

• 1:16:20Stavros Halkias?

  To be like, oh, I'm having the

• 1:16:21Speaker 03

  I'm having these dreams about my past.

• 1:16:23Stavros Halkias?

  Like, cause okay, isolated incident. Let's take the dream shit out. Let's take whatever. If the question is, I'm talking to my fiance and she has a weird Freudian slip and calls me an an ex's name, should I be worried about this? I would say that's kind of annoying and I wouldn't be pumped. But I wouldn't be like, what the fuck bitch? Are you cheating on me?

• 1:16:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:16:51Stavros Halkias?

  And now the dream element is like, are you worried that there's some kind of like, she's having some kind of flashback epis- like, what even, what is that as an explanation? Like, I like what you're saying where it's like, maybe she said it's like, oh, I don't know. I've been having these weird dreams. I'm fixating on this period of my life.

• 1:17:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:17:10Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe, but like. As an isolated incident, you can't get worked up about it. It is insecure. It is kinda weird.

• 1:17:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:18Stavros Halkias?

  Now, if it becomes a weird pattern, like if this happens again, or she's, she's like, that's something, but you can't. We're talking about six years versus one weird slip up? Who's like, this guy's name's Brian, maybe she fucking saw the name Brian somewhere else. I don't know.

• 1:17:34Speaker 03

  The timing of it is so weird because it's been six years. Like if,

• 1:17:40Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:17:41Speaker 03

  If I.

• 1:17:42Stavros Halkias?

  True, that's a good point.

• 1:17:43Speaker 03

  I've been with Andy for five years. I can't imagine calling him my ex's name.

• 1:17:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point.

• 1:17:50Speaker 03

  Five years later.

• 1:17:52Stavros Halkias?

  That is a good point.

• 1:17:52Speaker 03

  Like for this to have happened for the first time, five years later to me is a little bit. And then, I don't know if this is the case, but if she, like, used this dream thing, if this is something that she sort of told him.

• 1:18:07Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:18:08Speaker 03

  Um, that feels like grasping for

• 1:18:13Stavros Halkias?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:18:13Speaker 03

  An explanation in a way that feels a little shady to me. I don't know. And I get why he's like, am I being? Cause if they're engaged, he might not wanna like give it some time to.

• 1:18:25Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure.

• 1:18:26Speaker 03

  You know, so I think.

• 1:18:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, when's the wedding in two months?

• 1:18:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:29Stavros Halkias?

  And she's been thinking about what her life was like before him a lot and dreaming about it. Like, that's not a great sign.

• 1:18:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:36Stavros Halkias?

  And that's a good point. That's a, yeah, six years.

• 1:18:40Speaker 03

  Not call him your ex and then start calling him your ex.

• 1:18:44Stavros Halkias?

  Because, yeah, if it's never happened before. Like, is she a forgetful, is she like a weird, like, flighty person who's just like, who, like, I don't know, like, I guess.

• 1:18:59Stavros Halkias?

  That is, your point is an interesting one where it's like. If that happened, either it's a completely weird like she saw the guy, she saw the guy's name written somewhere. Like she saw like a realtor with his name on a bus stop. Right as she's talking to you on the phone, she looks at it's like, oh yeah, whatever Brian, you know what I mean?

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:21Stavros Halkias?

  Or the flip side and the sinister side is like, for some reason, she's been thinking about this person.

• 1:19:27Speaker 03

  I feel like I'm giving a lot of sinister advice today. I don't know where my answer is.

• 1:19:32Speaker 04

  No, that is, that is interesting.

• 1:19:33Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, that's a good point.

• 1:19:34Speaker 04

  My initial reaction, I was with you stuff, but that is true. Like if you're six years in.

• 1:19:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like would you, would you ever say, uh, like, I would have to think about who the ex was.

• 1:19:47Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:19:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like I have to be like, who, what name would I even fucking, you know what I mean? Like how, you know, I guess the, the last ex, but even that is like.

• 1:19:55Speaker 03

  I get it if it's been three months, you know what I mean? She just went through a breakup, started dating you right away. And all of a sudden she calls you by her ex's name. Like that's, I get that. Cause it's like, you're still like, you know, kind of in that headspace a little bit. You didn't get, you didn't get a second to breathe. But six years together, I don't, I'm like, does she work with her ex? Cause he said that she's at the same fucked up job. I'm like.

• 1:20:21Stavros Halkias?

  But no, no, that's in her dreams.

• 1:20:23Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 1:20:24Stavros Halkias?

  Those are the, she's describing the dream.

• 1:20:25Speaker 03

  Oh, right.

• 1:20:26Stavros Halkias?

  So none of that, she ostensibly lives with him and has a better job. But she's been dreaming about. Yeah. The dreams are kind of throwing me off, but what were you gonna say, Aldous?

• 1:20:35Speaker 04

  I mean, I do think ultimately the intent does not really matter here. Because if it is one time, it is a slip up. And yeah, you kind of look like a bitch if you're like harping on this and.

• 1:20:48Stavros Halkias?

  Can I see your phone? Did you talk to him?

• 1:20:50Speaker 03

  Right. Yeah, that's.

• 1:20:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's so weird.

• 1:20:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:20:52Speaker 04

  Just legally in court, this isn't grounds to even, I mean, you have to let it go from your own mind.

• 1:20:58Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:20:59Speaker 04

  You can't like think about this.

• 1:21:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21:01Speaker 04

  Well, even, even if like it was on a day where like, who knows? She was thinking about her ex or something like.

• 1:21:07Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:21:07Speaker 04

  There's no way to prove that.

• 1:21:08Stavros Halkias?

  It also could have been, you can think about a person from your past in a completely innocent way too. You know what I mean? Like you just be like, oh, that was especially if you're, let's say the dream thing is true. And she's like, why the fuck was I thinking about that job when I was dating that fucking idiot? Like she could have been, it could have been like that too, right? And I guess, I guess the analogy I would use like, you know, it's like.

• 1:21:29Speaker 03

  I will say, oh, sorry.

• 1:21:31Stavros Halkias?

  No, go ahead.

• 1:21:31Speaker 03

  If you're, if you're gonna marry this woman, it's like, a good way to go into marriage is giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

• 1:21:38Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 1:21:39Speaker 03

  I, I think otherwise you're a little fucked.

• 1:21:42Stavros Halkias?

  You, you, you have to, and I, I guess this would be like, you know, uh, it's like, if you see a s- a little spot of water on your flo- on the floor, are you like, fuck, the roof is caved in?

• 1:21:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:56Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, no, somebody, a fucking little water could have, like, a little condensation could have fell.

• 1:22:00Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:22:01Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't mean you need a whole new fucking roof, it doesn't mean there's like a, a, a, a, you know, a fucking tornado's coming.

• 1:22:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Stavros Halkias?

  Just a li- that's, that's the, that's what we're talking about here.

• 1:22:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:11Stavros Halkias?

  You're worried about a flood, and you just saw a speck of water on the floor that could have gotten there, a thousand much more reasonable ways.

• 1:22:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:22:19Stavros Halkias?

  So, okay, if you see the water there next week, if you see a pool get a little bit, if it gets even a little bigger, you're like, huh. I'm gonna keep an eye on that, but if that's all it is-

• 1:22:31Speaker 03

  But for now, you just clock it and move on.

• 1:22:33Stavros Halkias?

  For now, you just fucking put a little paper, yeah, you get a paper towel, you keep moving, who gives a fuck?

• 1:22:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:38Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, don't, don't worry about it too much.

• 1:22:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:42Stavros Halkias?

  Even though she's clearly cheating.

• 1:22:43Speaker 03

  Absolutely getting riled. She's getting fucking riled.

• 1:22:48Stavros Halkias?

  It's weird, but you're fine, dude.

• 1:22:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:52Speaker 00

  What kind of day is it? It's a White Claw day. Grab a pack, grab your friends, everything else in life can wait. Your friends should. Let's go. White Claw. Grab life by the claw. Please drink responsibly. Heart's also with flavors. White Claw's also works Chicago, Illinois.

• 1:23:07Speaker 07

  Hey, what's up, guys? It's Haley Bailey. Okay, I need to tell you about something. I just got YouTube Premium. It's got tons of awesome features, like offline downloads, so I can download my favorite videos before I travel and watch them whenever I don't have Wi-Fi. Because we all know airplane Wi-Fi is the worst. I get ad-free, I get background play, and there's like a ton more in there. You should try it. If you like YouTube, you'll love YouTube Premium. Try it now for two months free at youtube.com/premium. Trial eligibility varies. Terms apply. Cancel anytime. That's a mouthful.

• 1:23:38Stavros Halkias?

  Little Eldish. Hey, Stopros, big fan, uh, big fan of the-

• 1:23:43Speaker 06

  Since all the way back in the Jamal Lewis days.

• 1:23:46Stavros Halkias?

  Nice dude, hell yeah.

• 1:23:47Speaker 06

  Uh, hope everyone's doing well. Uh, looking for just some relationship and just kind of general advice. Um, to, to boil it down. Uh, I kind of consider myself a, a bit of a loser.

• 1:24:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no.

• 1:24:01Speaker 06

  Between a social aspect. Um, and haven't really been in a, a long-term relationship. Well, hell, now that I think of it, ever.

• 1:24:11Stavros Halkias?

  Hmm.

• 1:24:11Speaker 06

  Um, spit of background, um, well groomed, uh, hygienic.

• 1:24:16Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:24:17Speaker 06

  Uh, dress well for, for someone who's, you know, from the hills of Georgia, white guy.

• 1:24:23Stavros Halkias?

  From the hills of Georgia.

• 1:24:24Speaker 06

  Since I graduated college, nice car, um, athletic build. Um, you know, I swam in college and played soccer.

• 1:24:34Speaker 03

  How big is this?

• 1:24:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe he's a little bit thick, that's true.

• 1:24:38Speaker 06

  You know, relatively tall.

• 1:24:39Stavros Halkias?

  Um.

• 1:24:40Speaker 06

  I consider myself reasonably attractive, ironic enough, uh, I get hit on by gay guys a good bit.

• 1:24:46Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, outcomes raiser.

• 1:24:48Speaker 06

  Super helpful for me, but whenever it happens, I take it as a bit of a confidence boost.

• 1:24:52Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:24:53Speaker 06

  Um, keep my house clean, uh, I've got two cats who absolutely love.

• 1:24:57Speaker 03

  Anyway, so do you want to come over?

• 1:24:59Speaker 06

  And I've got two sisters and, and I'm a bit of a mama's boy, so, um, very big on, on women's rights and.

• 1:25:07Stavros Halkias?

  Women's rights?

• 1:25:08Speaker 06

  A bit of a feminist. So, I mean, all that said, um, you know, I, I haven't fucked in two years. So, you know, there's something there, uh, can't really pin it down. Uh, but any advice, you know, y'all could give, um, you know, I greatly appreciate it.

• 1:25:25Stavros Halkias?

  This guy's fucking up, just a genteel southerner listing off why he's a good guy. He's like, I haven't gotten but a stitch of pussy.

• 1:25:38Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't nared dove in any muff for over, you know, eight four knots.

• 1:25:48Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:25:49Stavros Halkias?

  Good god dude. Um, okay. I mean, look, so he's giving us his bone of feeds as to why he should be able to get pussy.

• 1:25:59Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:26:00Stavros Halkias?

  But, okay.

• 1:26:02Speaker 03

  But he's not saying what he's not doing.

• 1:26:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, okay, you're reasonably, you're an eligible bachelor here, but like, what does your day to day life look like? Are you making it an effort? Are you on dating apps? Are you going out? Are you like, are you being social? Are you do, are you know, are you going, are you going to bars, whatever? Like, do you have a group of friends you guys go out with and you talk to people and? Cause you're in a great spot, right? Like, usually these sort of incel calls that we get, we try and build them up to where you are, right? To be, to be at a reasonable base where you believe in yourself. Clearly, I would say there is a confidence issue. There must be something.

• 1:26:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:26:46Stavros Halkias?

  Because like, why? Yeah, why didn't you tell, like, he said he hasn't been in a relationship ever. What's that about, number one?

• 1:26:54Speaker 03

  Right. Did he say, did he say how old he is?

• 1:26:58Stavros Halkias?

  No, but if he's a Jamal, I mean Jamal Lewis, I was in, he's probably our, our age, I mean, or a little older, I mean, like, Jamal Lewis, shout out, 2000 yard rusher, Super Bowl champion Jamal Lewis. Free him. He's not, he's not guilty of the allegations. No, I don't, I don't think he did anything that bad, but you know, he did serve some time in prison, but, actually, look up what he did. I don't remember. I'll stop my head. But he's a great running back.

• 1:27:28Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:27:28Stavros Halkias?

  So, yeah, um, he's probably.

• 1:27:30Speaker 03

  Free him, he didn't do it. Can you look up what he did?

• 1:27:32Stavros Halkias?

  Let's look up what he did. I think he just like robbed somebody. I don't think.

• 1:27:37Stavros Halkias?

  No, this is not him. That's a different, oh wait, is this him?

• 1:27:46Speaker 04

  Cocaine?

• 1:27:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, who cares, man?

• 1:27:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:27:49Stavros Halkias?

  Sold a little coke, we were just talking about it.

• 1:27:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, attempting to set up a cocaine deal.

• 1:27:53Stavros Halkias?

  Come on.

• 1:27:54Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:27:55Stavros Halkias?

  The guy's trying to make a little money. You know how mu- NFL running backs are underpaid and they, they deal with a lot of physical, they're, they get, they have some of the lowest paid for how much, uh, you know, what kind of a toll they take. And this is, this man is a legend. We should take care of him. Anyway, uh, Jamal did nothing wrong. So, back to this guy.

• 1:28:14Speaker 03

  Maybe this guy won't stop talking about that on dates.

• 1:28:20Stavros Halkias?

  I wanted Jamal Lewis jersey, actually.

• 1:28:22Speaker 03

  Maybe every date that he takes a woman on, it's just that. And she's just going, uh-huh.

• 1:28:28Speaker 04

  I mean, just a little cocaine.

• 1:28:30Stavros Halkias?

  It ain't that big a deal. So, yeah dude, I mean, are you doing any of the other stuff? You, you know, your resume is good, you're in a good zone, but like, if you're not putting yourself out there, if you're not, and honestly-

• 1:28:46Speaker 03

  And do you eat pussy?

• 1:28:47Stavros Halkias?

  And do you eat pussy? That's a good point. You know?

• 1:28:51Speaker 03

  Cause he does seem very genteel.

• 1:28:53Stavros Halkias?

  Too mu- yeah, well, that's undignified.

• 1:28:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:57Stavros Halkias?

  But he's from the hills. We're kinda giving him a bit of a, you know, southern gentleman quality, but this man, this man gets down and dirty.

• 1:29:03Speaker 03

  Crouches. He'll get in the crouch.

• 1:29:05Stavros Halkias?

  I think he will.

• 1:29:06Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:29:07Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah dude, what, you, you haven't given us a lot. You're basically, all you said, all you want is, from your question, all you want us to be like is, wow, you should get pussy. You're right.

• 1:29:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:17Stavros Halkias?

  But like, you're clearly doing something off.

• 1:29:19Speaker 03

  That's the thing that feels off to me is that the whole thing is kind of set up for us to be like, why isn't anybody fucking this guy?

• 1:29:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe that, maybe your outlook, your, your general outlook of like, a sort of victim mentality. I have all this stuff. Why aren't I getting pussy? Not to, maybe you're not that guy, you know, you seem like a, a, a polite gentleman, but it's like, what, because you're starting in such a good spot, what is going wrong, I think is what we need to figure out here? And my hunch is, is it like, are, is this a, is this a-

• 1:29:58Stavros Halkias?

  Priority for you, are you putting a lot of your efforts into this? Are you, you know, spending too much time lobbying for abortion access?

• 1:30:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:07Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe dial back the feminism, maybe dial back how well you're dressed, you know? Like, maybe, maybe spend a little more time going on dates.

• 1:30:16Speaker 03

  I'm gonna say, don't dial back how well you're dressed.

• 1:30:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 1:30:19Speaker 03

  Or the feminism, but, but go on, go on these dates and like, like, just based off of the way that this is, I mean, it's a voicemail, so you're, and you're talking about yourself and that's the way that it's supposed to be, but like, I would make sure that on the dates that you're on, like, ask these women about themselves, like, anytime there's a lull in conversation, ask them something.

• 1:30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, don't bring up what's going on with mama.

• 1:30:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30:41Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you know?

• 1:30:42Speaker 03

  Or your sisters, or, you know what I mean?

• 1:30:44Speaker 04

  That's what I was gonna say, I, I do like that, I don't sense like bitterness in his voice per se, but I will say like, the shit you're, the shit that you're like listing, it's like, do women even care, like, you know, some mama's boy and khakis and quaff tear, that doesn't seem like, you know, a guy that women wanna throw pussy at all the time, so it's like.

• 1:31:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's not a negative, but it's not a po, you're not necessarily.

• 1:31:06Speaker 03

  I think it might be a positive in the South.

• 1:31:08Stavros Halkias?

  And for cer, I mean, for certain people, just being well put together, like, it's not, he is starting from a positive.

• 1:31:14Speaker 03

  Place.

• 1:31:14Stavros Halkias?

  Place, it's just, why, why is this happening? You know, are you a little too, you know, we don't hear bitterness, we don't hear general incel seething, but is that because he's so polite, he's hiding it? Like, do you have that? Like?

• 1:31:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:30Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, it's okay to be, to feel a little desperation, to feel, to get your back against the wall and be like, I gotta fuck.

• 1:31:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:31:36Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, it's okay to have a little, you don't want too much of that, but a little bit of that to just like, spur you on to actually, you know, put together a good dating profile, swipe, set up some dates.

• 1:31:48Speaker 03

  Is I would pay for it before you go on the date, I would, I would pay for sex before you.

• 1:31:54Stavros Halkias?

  Knock the cobwebs out a little bit.

• 1:31:56Speaker 03

  Do that.

• 1:31:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:31:57Speaker 03

  And then get out there and be somebody.

• 1:31:58Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. Is there, are you a little too palette? Are you a little too reserved? Are you too much, are you Kenneth from 30 Rock?

• 1:32:05Speaker 03

  You know, if you're sitting across the table with like white knuckles.

• 1:32:10Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? And it's like, she's gonna feel that.

• 1:32:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting. He's too, I see, I see.

• 1:32:16Speaker 03

  Get your fucking rocks off and then go on the date. Cause it's gonna feel like, she'll feel it if you're.

• 1:32:21Stavros Halkias?

  True.

• 1:32:21Speaker 03

  If you're over there just.

• 1:32:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. You don't wanna be, you don't wanna be in the red. You don't wanna be ma, you know, like, you wanna be in a nice horny. You wanna be in a nice cruising horny. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You're redlining right now.

• 1:32:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'm, I'm, yeah. Hopefully we hit on some of this, buddy, but you know, let us know. And maybe even call, maybe call in a live show, actually. I would like to talk to them and get to the bottom of this.

• 1:32:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:45Stavros Halkias?

  Um, which we will be doing more of. Uh, we are, there's not that much travel going on. And actually I say that, but we're gonna be gone half of November. We're gonna be gone in December. We got Boston, we got Austin. I'm probably gonna go to Baltimore. I'm lying. There's gonna be a ton of travel. There always is.

• 1:33:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:02Stavros Halkias?

  There's no, there's no rest.

• 1:33:04Speaker 03

  You're trapped.

• 1:33:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:07Stavros Halkias?

  It sucks. I was like, man, I can't wait to relax this fall. And every day, there's another thing I have to do. Like every, the, the calendar just keeps.

• 1:33:15Speaker 03

  Tour is right around the corner. Yesterday, I, yesterday was the first day in, I think, four years that I haven't done anything. Like I went to the fucking.

• 1:33:21Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean, yeah.

• 1:33:23Speaker 03

  I went to the fucking, uh, the botanical gardens and I like walked around.

• 1:33:27Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's awesome.

• 1:33:27Speaker 03

  And I was like, this is fucking, I haven't done this in so long.

• 1:33:30Stavros Halkias?

  I know. A day with no responsibilities is such a beautiful treat.

• 1:33:34Speaker 03

  Fucking crazy, yeah.

• 1:33:37Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, what do we got, Ellis? Maybe a couple more here and then we'll send our guest on her way. Hi, Stavi and esteemed guests.

• 1:33:45Speaker 07

  And eldest and all of that great beautiful stuff.

• 1:33:49Stavros Halkias?

  Hello.

• 1:33:49Speaker 07

  Um, I have a question. I quite literally just found out a lot of this information like last night.

• 1:33:57Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 1:33:58Speaker 07

  Um, but it turns out that my brother has cheated on his girlfriend. Who he has been with for three years.

• 1:34:07Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:34:07Stavros Halkias?

  Uh.

• 1:34:08Speaker 07

  Um, his girlfriend is amazing. Truly one of the most kindest, most beautiful, amazing, well-rounded people I've ever met. And he cheated on her. Um, and my whole family pissed off at him for it, obviously.

• 1:34:23Stavros Halkias?

  Choose your family.

• 1:34:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:25Speaker 07

  Is.

• 1:34:27Speaker 07

  How much of a relationship am I allowed to still have with his ex-girlfriend? I care about my brother. He's my older brother, you know, he's important to me. However, I hate what he did. And the girl that he cheated on is an amazing person and I'd love to still be her friend. So I'm wondering if that's allowed or if it's not. Anyway, thank you, Stavi. Um, I have big old, huge old, uh, double D, triple D knocker.

• 1:35:00Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, let me lock in here.

• 1:35:03Speaker 07

  Bye.

• 1:35:06Stavros Halkias?

  Really huge tits, you say?

• 1:35:08Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 1:35:09Stavros Halkias?

  Well, your problem matters.

• 1:35:13Speaker 03

  I mean, lean in.

• 1:35:15Stavros Halkias?

  Um, okay, so first of all, this is very fresh. That's a big, that's a big thing to think about here. But also, my, my number one piece of advice here is that you don't get to choose this, right? The girlfriend got cheated on by your brother.

• 1:35:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's up to her how much.

• 1:35:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:35:35Stavros Halkias?

  She likes you.

• 1:35:36Speaker 03

  That's what I was thinking the whole time.

• 1:35:37Stavros Halkias?

  Like, you might, and I get the frustration, right? Because this is classic, like, like, I mean, there's definitely times where I've broken up with someone and I could tell my, like, my mom's like, ah, come on, man.

• 1:35:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:35:50Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Like, I like that girl. You know what I mean? Like, and like, family members are like, or the, I mean, sometimes the opposite happens where you break up with somebody and they're like pumped, whatever, but it's like. You, your, this, your brother is your family unfortunately. And this girl is just a girl in terms of like what your, what your, uh, relationship is here. And yeah, was he a piece of shit? Sure. But it's like, is it the kind of thing that? It's not, you know, it's human, it sucks, but it's not like the thing that you like, you know, get. You don't talk to your fucking family about. It's like, you fucking asshole. Why did you run the relationship with a girl we all loved, right?

• 1:36:30Stavros Halkias?

  Clearly this is a person you like, like in a vacuum, if you had, and you weren't related to them. You would rather hang out with this woman than your brother, right? And that happens all the time. But that's not your choice and you don't live in a vacuum. You live in.

• 1:36:45Speaker 03

  And she might not want to fucking see you or anyone in your family.

• 1:36:48Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally, totally. And that's really up, again, it's up to her. Just because your, your brother fucked something up with a person you wish was in your life forever.

• 1:36:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:58Stavros Halkias?

  I got news for you. The odds are not good. You're allowed to have the relationship she wants you to have. And you can be as close, I mean, ultimately it's also like fuck your brother.

• 1:37:08Speaker 03

  You don't have to ask your brother.

• 1:37:10Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. He doesn't, like, he doesn't matter in this. If you, and is there a scenario where this person's like, you know what? Whatever. I dodged a bullet. I don't want to be with somebody who cheated on me, but I really liked this. Like, you do hear those stories too. Where it's like people who either are related or even like very close friends.

• 1:37:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:28Stavros Halkias?

  Like they'll be like, oh, you know what? I actually don't like. I like this person more than my friend who was dating her. I've seen women become friends in situations like this. I've seen, you know, like this, this happens, but it's not up to you. This could also happen where it's like, she loved your brother. She wanted to fucking marry him. And you're a reminder of the life he ruined.

• 1:37:53Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:37:53Stavros Halkias?

  Right? You're a constant reminder. Your best bet.

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  She may not be able to even look at you.

• 1:37:58Stavros Halkias?

  Exactly. Your best hope is that your brother's a fucking idiot piece of shit.

• 1:38:02Speaker 03

  And that you don't look like him.

• 1:38:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you don't look like him. That's true. If you look totally different, that could help.

• 1:38:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:07Stavros Halkias?

  But if she doesn't care about him that much, if she comes out of this, is like, he was a fucking asshole. And she likes you and you don't look like him, you, it could happen. I'm not saying it's, it's impossible, but. I mean, you even hear about weirdly people who have like relations with people's parents they broke up with.

• 1:38:24Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:38:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's like, that to me is fucking insane, but kinda cute and wholesome.

• 1:38:28Speaker 03

  I have a couple of exes whose parents still check in on me.

• 1:38:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's fucking, that's, that's honestly kinda cute, but yeah, you can't, it's not up to you is basically what it comes down to.

• 1:38:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. But you got big knockers.

• 1:38:45Stavros Halkias?

  But you do have huge tits and that is important.

• 1:38:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:50Speaker 03

  Either way, you're a winner.

• 1:38:51Stavros Halkias?

  The important thing is that you keep those things and you know what, maybe put them, dump them out every once in a while.

• 1:38:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:38:57Stavros Halkias?

  So maybe it'll help you.

• 1:38:59Speaker 03

  Throw them on the table.

• 1:39:00Stavros Halkias?

  To show, put them on the glass.

• 1:39:07Stavros Halkias?

  I would love like one of those boats, like the bottom boats where it's the water, but I would like to be underneath it and be a fish. And ladies just put their tits on it.

• 1:39:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:39:18Stavros Halkias?

  I'd like to be doing a backstroke with scuba gear and just seeing ladies push their tits on the glass.

• 1:39:24Speaker 04

  That's your definition of snorkeling?

• 1:39:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm ignoring the Great Barrier Reef.

• 1:39:29Speaker 03

  Wait.

• 1:39:29Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just looking at Australian tits.

• 1:39:31Speaker 03

  You got a great fucking business idea. For real, you wanna get on the podcasting, this is what you do.

• 1:39:37Stavros Halkias?

  We gotta diversify. Nothing lasts forever.

• 1:39:40Speaker 03

  Bring theme parks back.

• 1:39:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's my version of Nate Land.

• 1:39:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:45Stavros Halkias?

  Stav Land. Just one glass bottom boat where we get strippers to put their tits on it. That would be fucking awesome. I'm like, all joking aside.

• 1:39:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:56Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to experience that.

• 1:40:00Speaker 03

  I mean, I wouldn't be a friend if I wasn't like, make money from that.

• 1:40:05Stavros Halkias?

  All right, Eldis, play us this one. What do we got?

• 1:40:08Speaker 07

  Hi, Stavi and esteemed guest.

• 1:40:11Speaker 03

  I love that.

• 1:40:12Speaker 07

  Thank you for taking this call.

• 1:40:14Stavros Halkias?

  You're held in high esteem here.

• 1:40:15Speaker 07

  Um, I'm in a bit of a predicament. I have been living with my partner's family for the past year. We live in a really high cost of living city, so it's been a huge blessing and I've saved so much money and um, I kind of am not in any rush to leave per se.

• 1:40:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, you're not.

• 1:40:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:40:39Speaker 07

  However, I am starting to sort of pick up on little bits and bobs from.

• 1:40:46Speaker 07

  Uh, his parents that they're kind of ready for us to go.

• 1:40:50Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:40:51Speaker 07

  We have been there a year, so.

• 1:40:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:53Speaker 07

  Um, I totally understand. I mean, they live in a large house in this said city. Um, but I am curious to see how many advice on like navigating, asking to stay a little bit longer.

• 1:41:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh damn.

• 1:41:09Speaker 07

  Um, they've just sort of been like, you know, oh, we're like saving this. They're also like hoarders. They're major hoarders.

• 1:41:17Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 1:41:17Speaker 07

  So we're saving this.

• 1:41:19Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus, that's how bad society has gotten.

• 1:41:21Speaker 07

  Saving this furniture for you and whenever you guys are ready to go, like.

• 1:41:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny.

• 1:41:26Speaker 07

  We have all this stuff here.

• 1:41:27Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, we have these, um, stacks of People magazine from nineteen eighty-four.

• 1:41:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:32Stavros Halkias?

  We've been saving these for me. We've been saving weird baby dolls. I'm just thinking, I'm thinking about my grandmother.

• 1:41:37Speaker 03

  Weird baby dolls.

• 1:41:39Stavros Halkias?

  My grandmother.

• 1:41:39Speaker 03

  They always have a weird baby doll.

• 1:41:41Stavros Halkias?

  I went to Greece in the middle of the Euro tour. I had a couple of days off and I just said, fuck it. I'm in Europe. I'm going to Greece. Even I was only there for like three and a half days and I, my grandparents have been dead both at this point. Ten years at least, maybe a little longer in Greece. My one, my dad's parents. Their apartment is unt, is there's so much shit that they're just like, my, my aunt, uncle, my cousin, they're like, this is just like a full. It would take us so long. It was just like so much shit is still there. It's fucking crazy. The whole.

• 1:42:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:12Stavros Halkias?

  We have hoarding runs deep in, in the genes, but.

• 1:42:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:42:16Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, this, this is very funny. Is there more to it, Elders?

• 1:42:19Speaker 03

  The good news is if they moved, she's got like a couch made of file cabinets.

• 1:42:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you can figure it out.

• 1:42:25Speaker 07

  Where you guys are ready to go, like we have all this stuff here for you to leave when you're, you know.

• 1:42:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's pretty funny.

• 1:42:32Speaker 07

  Take with you when you leave. Um, and I keep on saying to my partner, I'm like, I, I think they're like. Trying to subtly hit it up, moving out relatively soon. Um, am I crazy for wanting to stay in their house? Is it wrong for me to stay in their house? And, um, how do we navigate the conversation of maybe staying another year?

• 1:42:56Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, this is-

• 1:42:57Speaker 07

  Because I'm poor. Alright, thanks, bye.

• 1:42:59Stavros Halkias?

  This is what we were talking about earlier. It's like, things have gotten so bad that this woman is clinging on to staying with her, not even in-law.

• 1:43:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:11Stavros Halkias?

  Just boyfriend's hoarder parents.

• 1:43:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:14Stavros Halkias?

  And she's like, you hear it in her voice, it's like, she's like, I wanna, I've been living in a resort rent-free. Like, she's talking like she's in fucking Cabo.

• 1:43:24Speaker 03

  She thinks it's good.

• 1:43:25Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, that's how sad things have gotten, dude.

• 1:43:28Speaker 03

  Things are really, really bad.

• 1:43:29Stavros Halkias?

  This is fucking pathetic. Um, now, from a general etiquette standpoint, is it wrong? No, it's not wrong. Um, but are you rude? Like, look, it's good that you're picking up on these hints, whatever.

• 1:43:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:43:45Stavros Halkias?

  Your partner probably doesn't, like, now, you know, the person you're dating, either they don't give a fuck because it's their parents, right? Like, they kind of move, they've moved into like, fuck you mom and dad mode, which is really sad when you see an adult regress that way.

• 1:44:02Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:44:02Stavros Halkias?

  And it's one thing when that happens over like a long weekend, but like, if that's their life, they're just behaving like that for a year, that's really weird and pathetic.

• 1:44:10Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:44:11Stavros Halkias?

  Or they're just like, kind of like, they're not in that mode, but they're just kind of not that emotionally intelligent. And because it's their parents, they're like, I don't fucking care. So, you know, you're probably more sensitive to what's going on than they are.

• 1:44:25Speaker 03

  They also could be, if they're like genuinely hoarders, I don't know if hoarders ever- Do they get like self-conscious about how much crap is in their house like could they be saying like oh we're just holding on to this because so that you guys can take it?

• 1:44:39Stavros Halkias?

  I think I think once you cross I think there's a moment that once you cross the hoarder Rubicon once you're a part of their day to day and you they see they've accepted it.

• 1:44:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:44:49Stavros Halkias?

  I think they might be embarrassed at first but once they know you've accepted their terms of how they live they go right to

• 1:44:57Speaker 03

  Okay, right, okay, yeah.

• 1:44:58Stavros Halkias?

  Like to them they're like, you just touched my glass figurines? You know, like it turns into that fast. That's how my aunt is anyway, um, so, look, you're not crazy. But at the same time, it's a fucking year. You saved up a lot of money.

• 1:45:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:45:16Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I, talk to, first of all, talk to your partner and make a plan. And if you think they're subtly kicking you out, then be like, we need to get out of here by this date. Let them know, hey, we're we're looking at apartments and by the way, that can be a drag out the pro if you really want to sort of be like diplomatic about it. You can drag, you can go to a couple of open houses, you can say, you can, you can apply to something.

• 1:45:41Speaker 03

  Be like, we're really busy today. We got a whole list, a whole bunch of listings we gotta look at.

• 1:45:46Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. Or come back and be like, oh, it was horrible or be like, fuck, we had this place and somebody got it right.

• 1:45:53Speaker 03

  Somebody got it too.

• 1:45:53Stavros Halkias?

  And that, which does happen, by the way, I lost the place I really wanted, um, and and so, you know.

• 1:45:59Speaker 03

  Especially in high cost of living cities.

• 1:46:01Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. It takes a while, um, but yeah, look. You can't live like this forever. It's nice that it's, you know, it's nice to have a place where you don't pay rent, obviously, but this also should be a bit of a wake up call to you to be like, do you want to live like this? It's also like, come on, man, you got, you want your own place.

• 1:46:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:20Stavros Halkias?

  Like, this is clearly, this is clearly pretty serious if you're willing to live with this person's parents.

• 1:46:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:46:25Stavros Halkias?

  Don't you guys want to take the next step in your relationship?

• 1:46:28Speaker 03

  Like, is it wrong for you to stay in their house? No. Are you crazy for wanting to stay? A little. A little bit.

• 1:46:35Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit, I mean.

• 1:46:36Speaker 03

  Not crazy, but it's

• 1:46:38Stavros Halkias?

  Like, would would she just live here forever? Like, if she could, would she live there for free forever?

• 1:46:43Speaker 03

  How much longer, really?

• 1:46:45Stavros Halkias?

  Cause this would drive me, even when I was broke.

• 1:46:46Speaker 03

  Another year, she says, maybe, maybe staying another year.

• 1:46:50Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing years. I don't know.

• 1:46:53Speaker 03

  Fucking year.

• 1:46:54Stavros Halkias?

  Years, I mean, look.

• 1:46:55Speaker 03

  And are you guys fucking in their parents' house?

• 1:46:57Stavros Halkias?

  Probably.

• 1:46:58Speaker 03

  Like, is it?

• 1:46:59Stavros Halkias?

  Probably. Either they are, or they've already catapulted to sexless marriage.

• 1:47:04Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:47:05Stavros Halkias?

  By living with these old people, you know, like, they've, maybe you've started becoming a hoarder that, you know, sits down and watches, you know, whatever, Jeopardy together every night or whatever. No disrespect to Dan and Katie who do do that.

• 1:47:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:47:18Stavros Halkias?

  Soder and Katie know a little, love watching Jeopardy together.

• 1:47:21Speaker 04

  I've done that with my in-laws many times, there's nothing wrong with that.

• 1:47:25Speaker 03

  Andy, anytime I watch it with Andy, I'm like, why the fuck haven't you been on this show? It's just insane how good you are at this.

• 1:47:32Stavros Halkias?

  Um, so, yeah, dude, talk to your, talk to your partner, figure out a plan, and also, by the way, you could, again, it's not the craziest thing in the world, to have an open conversation.

• 1:47:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:47:47Stavros Halkias?

  You just sit down with your in-laws and be like, uh, hey, I really just want to say, really appreciate it, like, you know, uh, is this too mu- do you need us to get out of your hair? You know, I'm, I want to save a little bit more money, but I'm happy to start, we're happy to start looking for apartments.

• 1:48:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:04Stavros Halkias?

  You can just have the fucking conversation.

• 1:48:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:06Stavros Halkias?

  Like, really, so much of this show ends up like that, and, and by the way, cynically, if these are sort of like nice, kind of pushover-y people, there's a chance to be like, no, no.

• 1:48:20Speaker 03

  Absolutely not.

• 1:48:20Stavros Halkias?

  Take your time.

• 1:48:21Speaker 03

  Why would you think that?

• 1:48:23Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you could potentially reset the clock another six months.

• 1:48:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:27Stavros Halkias?

  Without even trying, or...

• 1:48:29Speaker 03

  Just by being direct.

• 1:48:30Stavros Halkias?

  Or you, they might take you up on it, and fuck it, that's fine, too, like, they already gave you a year.

• 1:48:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:48:37Stavros Halkias?

  You, you shouldn't inconvenience these people, like, whatever, and then you get to live your life, you have to start living your life a little faster than you wanted to, but...

• 1:48:45Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:48:46Stavros Halkias?

  You know, good luck, it sucks that that's how unaffordable houses are.

• 1:48:50Speaker 03

  I know, but get out there and be somebody.

• 1:48:52Stavros Halkias?

  You have something fast here, Eldis?

• 1:48:54Speaker 03

  And it sounds like she's saved a lot of money.

• 1:48:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's something.

• 1:48:58Speaker 03

  That's gotta be enough to, you know?

• 1:49:01Stavros Halkias?

  Totally. You got something here to end, end on, Eldis? Hey, stop, hey, Eldis, I'm calling in for some advice, uh, for that girl that was... On the Jordan Jensen podcast, whose boyfriend had fifteen friends that she couldn't break through to. Oh, yeah, the f- yes.

• 1:49:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, basically, there's this caller, she was like, "My boyfriend has like a fuck-ton of friends. Every time there's a big bar hang, I feel like I like can't connect with any of them. Except like maybe one or two weirdos, but..."

• 1:49:30Speaker 03

  Every comedian's girlfriend.

• 1:49:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but they're good to not connect with every other comedian. I also have an obnoxiously large friend group that stayed together from high school. And I've seen this happen multiple times. And there's a very specific formula that I'd recommend she follows. Okay, this is good. There's always at least these two types of guys in groups that big. There's a guy that everyone typically makes fun of. And so you're gonna wanna immediately make fun of him. But then, when other people start to pile on, defend him. Because he's also kinda the sweetheart of the group. This is good.

• 1:50:07Speaker 03

  Oh, wow, this man could write a book.

• 1:50:08Stavros Halkias?

  This is really good ad-

• 1:50:09Speaker 03

  This man could write a book.

• 1:50:10Stavros Halkias?

  He's saying this and I'm envisioning it working.

• 1:50:13Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:50:13Stavros Halkias?

  This is really good advice, yeah. So kinda the sweetheart of the group. And start making fun of the guy, or the guys that, uh, are kinda like the top or the big dogs and don't get made fun of that often. That way, you're immediately gonna win over, uh, pretty much everyone except those, uh, major assholes. And no one really likes them anyway.

• 1:50:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:34Stavros Halkias?

  So then, uh- That's really good advice. She's golden after that. That is, that is really good advice.

• 1:50:40Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:50:41Stavros Halkias?

  Come in, call Eldis a bumbling Albanian. Then when I'm overdoing it, say, "Relax, you fat piece of shit."

• 1:50:48Speaker 03

  Hey, just calm down, he's a sweetheart.

• 1:50:49Stavros Halkias?

  I like, and then, I would love that legitimately, that would warm my heart.

• 1:50:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:50:54Stavros Halkias?

  Um, but that's really good advice. Understand the sort of like-

• 1:50:57Speaker 04

  And I'm trying to get my wife to defend me more.

• 1:50:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I know. I do love when, when I win over your wife and she's laughing at me mocking you.

• 1:51:07Speaker 04

  I'm saying the beaches in Greece are better than Albania.

• 1:51:10Stavros Halkias?

  We had Eldis so cooked. His wife loved Greece so much. We took like a big friendship. My cousin was getting married. Our buddy George was in Greece. They were gonna be in Albania. So we just kinda like met.

• 1:51:24Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 1:51:24Stavros Halkias?

  At, in an island and we had such a good time. And it was like bef- right before, they kinda did like a little pre honeymoon because they knew they weren't gonna be able to take a proper one for a while.

• 1:51:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:51:33Stavros Halkias?

  So they took like a nice pre wedding and literally like at Eldis' wedding, his wife's talking about how awesome Greece is. She's like asking for Greek songs to be played at the wedding. And Eldis, literally on his wedding night was like, "I'm Albanian."

• 1:51:53Stavros Halkias?

  It was for real. One of my favorite memories was Eldis getting trolled on his own wedding day by his wife because of the beauty of Greece.

• 1:52:05Speaker 03

  Oh my gosh.

• 1:52:07Stavros Halkias?

  Oh man, what a-

• 1:52:09Speaker 03

  Stomping your feet at the scene.

• 1:52:12Speaker 04

  Now what do you want on your wedding night?

• 1:52:15Speaker 03

  God damn.

• 1:52:18Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, that was good. But yeah, that's great advice. That is great advice to that girl.

• 1:52:22Speaker 03

  I love it.

• 1:52:23Stavros Halkias?

  Understand the social dynamics because a friend group that big is essentially a fraternity with that level of like, you know, social striation, honestly, so.

• 1:52:33Speaker 03

  I love making fun of Andy, but whenever anybody else makes fun of Andy.

• 1:52:36Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:52:37Speaker 03

  I will, I wanna kill them.

• 1:52:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:40Speaker 03

  I'm like, "Don't you dare fucking speak to him. That's my sweetie pie."

• 1:52:45Stavros Halkias?

  And that's beautiful. That's what it should be.

• 1:52:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:52:48Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, well there we go. Rosebud, thank you so much for coming. That was a great episode, of course. Go see Rosebud on the road. Go lis- go watch the special on Netflix. We're coming on the road as well. We should start plugging those dates. We probably did it in the beginning, fuck it.

• 1:53:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:53:05Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, where, where can they find you, all that kinda stuff, Rosebud Baker?

• 1:53:09Speaker 03

  Go to rosebudbaker.com for my tour dates. Um, Rosebud Baker on TikTok, Instagram, all that jazz.

• 1:53:16Stavros Halkias?

  Cool.

• 1:53:16Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, and Netflix, the motherload.

• 1:53:19Stavros Halkias?

  Netflix, the motherload. Alright. Thank you guys. We will talk to you next week. Bye.

• 1:53:24Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 1:53:36Speaker 07

  Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections for what teens see and who can contact them, plus time management tools.

• 1:53:45Speaker 07

  And Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences.

• 1:53:53Speaker 07

  Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

• 1:54:05Stavros Halkias?

  Mr. Monopoly here. Miss me? Monopoly is back at McDonald's with millions of prizes. A 2027 Jeep Cherokee, a Carnival Cruise vacation, gift cards from DoorDash, and Best Buy. Puff and play in the McDonald's app. Get your bag.

• 1:54:23Speaker 07

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