You Aren't Alone Enough.

My new book, “Own Or Be Owned”, is all about building a business so good it doesn't need you. More profit, less pain. It's out NOW. Grab it here! https://contrarianthinking.biz/oobo_bigdeal - cs If you feel mentally crowded, over-influenced, or disconnected from your own powers, today’s episode is for you. It’s about how stepping back — intentionally — can restore clarity, confidence, and direction. We explore why solitude isn’t loneliness, but a practical tool for better decisions and stronger self-trust. Drawing from Carl Jung’s idea of individuation, Nietzsche’s writing on original thought, and examples like Sarah Blakely building Spanx against outside advice, the episode looks at how people develop an internal compass instead of borrowing one from the world. I also introduce the “Inner Board Meeting” framework: a way to separate the voices of vision, execution, and self-protection so choices come from your core, not reactivity. Along the way, we examine burnout as identity suppression, midlife crises as unmet meaning, and the hidden cost of being too available to others. The goal isn’t withdrawal—it’s learning how to hear yourself again. Ready to turn your newsletter into your career? Head to https://beehiiv.com/codie and use code CODIE30 for 30% off your first three months. ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:00:42 The Crisis of Solitude: Why You Need to Be Alone 00:02:21 Carl Jung's Individuation: Becoming Who You Truly Are 00:02:44 The Psyche Map: Ego, Persona, Shadow, and Self 00:03:54 Energy Vampires: Why Being Too Available Drains You 00:09:03 The Inner Board Meeting: Dialogue With Your Inner Voices 00:12:09 Nietzsche on Solitude: Flee Into Your Solitude 00:14:19 Sarah Blakely and the Path of Solitude 00:19:12 Strategic Non-Reactivity: The Bare Hibernating Method 00:21:05 Midlife Crisis as Opportunity: When Your Persona Cracks 00:22:02 Burnout is Shadow Suppression 00:26:23 The Self-Contract: Choosing Your Identity 00:28:20 Potential Is Worthless: Reality Over Possibility 00:29:57 Main Street Millionaire Live: Your Path to Business Ownership ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID 📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp 📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN 🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/ 💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk 🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  What's on their wish list? It probably smells incredible. Gift them Sol de Genetos Shea Rosa Perfume Mist. Light, playful, and delicious scents for every mood and moment. Shea Rosa 62? Pistachio and Salted Caramel. 68? Pink Dragon Fruit and Brazilian Jasmine. 40? Black Amber Plum and Vanilla Woods. Give the gift of Sol de Genetos Shea Rosa Perfume Mist. Loved by everyone, perfect for anyone. Shop now on soldegenetos.com.

• 0:30Codie Sanchez?

  Have you ever noticed how some people control every room without saying anything? And other people have to be loud and seen to be heard? But the powerful ones just withdraw, they're silent, and then you watch as people chase after them? That is the point. How do you become the chased as opposed to the chaser? When you stop becoming available, the world reacts. It wants to latch and grab on and pull you in, and that is when you attract. It's when you realize that you're inherently more powerful than you think, and you do not need everyone around you in order to get attention. In fact, you realize something really powerful that we're going to break in from the greatest philosophers of all time and learn in order to control the room and not be controlled around it. There are a couple of things that are gonna be hard to hear here,

• 1:14Codie Sanchez?

  but I think that is the entire point. And the first one is,

• 1:20Codie Sanchez?

  you are not alone enough with your thoughts and creations to build the life you say you want. You'll realize eventually, you do not have enough solitude in your life, and your work is struggling for it. You need to sit alone in the darkness and watch as the world comes to you. I go back to that clip of Bane from Batman.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Oh, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it.

• 1:48Codie Sanchez?

  Literally, all of history's greatest minds embraced solitude. Long walks, isolated studios, late nights, early mornings, strict routines. You have to deliberately strip away the noise of the external world to examine the internal one. This is famous all the way from Nietzsche to Bukowski. You create space to process the chaos. So we're gonna talk about something we've never talked about On this podcast before, but I consider the cornerstone of my success and the greatest builders of all time success, learning to master being alone. I mean, the great philosophers and psychologists of our time have realized this, like Carl Jung, who talks about what happens when you withdraw from others. You then see who is irritated, who comes after you, who doesn't allow it. Priceless information. This isn't about turning your back on the world. It's not about turning

• 2:33Codie Sanchez?

  away from your loved ones. This is about choosing yourself. 2026 first lesson is this is not the year of explanation. It is the year of execution, less talking, less chasing, more building. Let others wonder what you are doing. Let silence be your announcement. Jung would call this individuation, which is the movement from living as a role. So what society, family, culture expects you to living as self, what is authentically you. It's not self-improvement nonsense. It's self-integration. So Jung would say the privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. So good, because you can't manipulate someone who likes being alone. The psyche, according

• 3:14Codie Sanchez?

  Jung, works like this. Quick map ego, your conscious identity, what you say when asked, who are you? Persona, the mask you wear to function socially. Think titles, reputations, identities. Shadow, the parts you disown or repress anger, ambition, vulnerability, when we shove it down deep inside. Anima, which is the inner opposite. So feminine in men, masculine in women, Jung's original framing, symbolizing traits you haven't integrated. And then self, the totality of the psyche, which is conscious plus unconscious, the true center. So individuation is the ego's gradual alignment to self, to becoming you. Jung would argue that

• 3:55Codie Sanchez?

  what we deny in ourselves doesn't disappear. It ruins us from the dark. This is that like suppressed ambition, suppressed aggression. What do those turn into passive resentment, burnout, suppressed vulnerability is emotional numbness. Like until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. These days, a lot of psychologists call this shadow work, and it isn't about indulging in dark. Darkness, it's about owning it so it stops owning you. The thing is, you only have so much energy in your lives and in every day. And in each interaction that you have, you're allowing others to take it from you. Which is why you end up at the end of the day feeling tired, frustrated, lonely. You've allowed yourself to become a shell reacting to other people's emotions.

• 4:40Codie Sanchez?

  You know, have you ever been around someone who by the end of the conversation, you felt like you had been sucked dry, like you had run a marathon but got no benefit from it? That is what happens when you are too available. And so Jung noticed that people undergoing this process of individuation, they often produce mandalas, what he would call circular symbols of wholeness in dreams or art. And he believed that that's the unconscious, so a part of our brain that speaks in symbols, not logic. And so he actually worked a lot on dreams and myth. And why individuation is hard and rare is, do you think about it like this? Society rewards you doing what other people want you to do. You know, personas or titles, et cetera, that's how we get all the applause. You know, that's why you see people on here going, I'm worth a billion dollars, right?

• 5:25Codie Sanchez?

  That gets attention. And individuation often requires letting go of that old part of you that has to die. Disappointing people, standing alone in a crowd. And I'm obsessed with this lately because in a world of AI where we can make our little phone our constant companion, the winners will be those who learn to be by themselves. And so Jung would say individuation does not just shut out one from the world, but gathers the world to oneself, which, you know, often begins for most of us in midlife, like during crisis or burnout, when the persona story no longer works. And I've certainly had this, I was a journalist back in the day and I thought that was my mission. I mean, I really wanted to give you bad news from a teleprompter

• 6:10Codie Sanchez?

  every single day in a tight sheath dress. And when I look back on that and think that that was the highest level, because I thought that meant that I was getting a ton of attention. I realized that that was a persona I never wanted. And so individuation, choosing yourself and necessary isolation. Well, that is the highest and most decisive experience. So if you were doing analysis of Jung's work, you would note that because only when we are alone, can we discover our inner supports and the indestructible foundation of our being. I remember one time talking to Eckhart Tolle about this and he talked in circles around me. I could barely understand the man, actually.

• 6:51Codie Sanchez?

  And I got so combobulated, discombobulated, talking to him because he would use words like, "our indestructible foundation." What the fuck does that mean? But actually, all he was really saying is that in order to figure out who you are, you have to be self-sufficient and you have to stand apart from the crowd and go your own way. And the more you like enmesh yourself with your wife, your husband, your partner, that best friend, the more we go by ourselves, the more we serve the greater purpose. And that is, I think, something that most people don't realize. They think about loneliness as a bad word these days. Loneliness versus being unable to be by yourself. There's a sharp line between solitude and alienation.

• 7:34Codie Sanchez?

  Loneliness does not come from having no people about yourself, is what Jung would say, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. So for him, basically, choosing yourself means you choose loneliness and you're okay when your old friends don't want to hear what you have to say. That's not a bug. This is what the cost of authenticity is. And so I think choosing yourself means I am what I choose to become. I am not what happened to me, a set of circumstances, but a choice. And so I've been obsessing about this because I think your past is like raw material, but the self is what you actively become.

• 8:16Codie Sanchez?

  And this dovetails with the modern Jungian theme that when you finally choose yourself, your entire life changes. And I've felt this before. Like, I'm sure you've felt it too. A moment where you've stopped living for external validation and start acting From an inner center and I don't think he's studied enough. You know, these days it's like we follow whoever has the most followers online and listen to them. But I like to go back to the greats because he would emphasize that when you turn inward and you dialogue with your inner parts, then you actually activate and meet this cast of inner characters, that your inner work is only possible with real alone time. And so like individuation is not self-help. It's, you know, modern culture often makes mistakes like thinking that you have to have status, productivity, optimization.

• 9:00Codie Sanchez?

  And, and Jung would say, if you're only stacking achievement, achievements without integrating your inner contradictions, the part of you you hate, you actually are just inflating the ego. And a simple way to recognize this is you stop needing approval for decisions that matter. You can hold paradox. So I can be strong and I can be kind. I can have a ton of ambition and I could pull back and have restraint. There's a quote I love that's you cannot be peaceful unless you're capable of great violence. That's because it is restraint. You have the capability. Imagine if every time you had a big decision, you could call an emergency board meeting, but the board was entirely in your own head. Not psychosis, we're not crazy people talking like psychopaths. But Jung, he thought when you look inward, honestly, you don't have like one self.

• 9:46Codie Sanchez?

  You have a cast of characters. They have different drives and different fears. And I know you guys know what I'm talking about. And when you talk with them, it's part of becoming who you really are. And that's why silence is so important and why you have to learn to speak to yourself if you want to be truly heard. So most people make decisions by listening to whichever voice is the loudest that day, usually fear. But here's a better way and how to run a board meeting with your own mind, Jung's style. So step one, you name the voices. So when you're stuck on a decision, relationship, move, business, or whatever, you grab a notebook and you write down three inner voices you can actually feel arguing. For instance, you might have the visionary, which is like obsessed with upside, adventure, impact, maybe arrogance. The operator cares about risk, logistics, downside.

• 10:30Codie Sanchez?

  The protector worried about your reputation, safety, don't embarrass me. Then I don't want you to overthink it. Just name the three that are clearly present for you. And then step two, let each one speak uncensored. So give each voice its own page. I always think at the top of the page, I like to write when I'm making a big decision and I'm really scared, the visionary, then I let it talk. What does it want? What is excited by? Why this decision is a once in a lifetime opportunity for it. Second page, the operator. I list all the constraints, everything that could break, everything that would have to be true. Then the third, the protector, let it confess exactly what it's afraid of and language a bit like a scared parent. The only rules, no judgment. Don't try to sound clever. You're just letting the cast speak. And then step three, become the chair of the board.

• 11:15Codie Sanchez?

  Now you switch roles. You're no longer any one of these selves inside of you. You're not the visionary, you're not the operator, you're not the protector, you're the self, the chair of the board. Jung was pointing out when he talked about individuation, that the part of you that can hold all of these perspectives without collapsing, that's the whole of you. And read the three pages, write a little synthesis that starts with, here's what we're actually going to do and why. And like, I always find I need parts of all those little parts of me, the scared little girl inside, the big bad boss, you know, the wife. And so you might honor the visionary's upside. You might honor the operator's constraints and give the protector, and give the protector a contingency plan. Or you might realize the

• 11:56Codie Sanchez?

  protector's running the show and consciously decide not to let fear make the call. So what you've just done is stop one inner voice from hijacking your life. And so, you know, whichever mood is the loudest is typically the one that drives what you do. And with this little five minute exercise, you've changed your life. This is not just a quote on Instagram. So next time you're paralyzed on a decision and you're not sure if you're going to be heard, I often wonder if it's actually that I am not going to listen to myself on this. So do me a favor. Don't send another panicked text to five friends. Call a board meeting. Be quiet. Let them speak. And this isn't just Jung, by the way,

• 12:37Codie Sanchez?

  who realized the power of dark solitude. One of my favorite philosophers of all time, Nietzsche, talked about solitude as power, not lack. And so he says on the long lines of, "My solitude doesn't depend on the presence or absence of people. On the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude. Without it, in exchange, offering me true company." Which basically means if I am going to spend time with you, you better be better than spending time with myself. And he talks about a thing I'm sure you feel in your life, which is, are you bored? Because you're trying to entertain yourself? Or can you also guard yourself against the most refreshing drought from your own innermost fountain, he would say, meaning like, what if you spent time alone and that actually felt

• 13:22Codie Sanchez?

  like the elixir? He has this book where he has one of the main characters say this line that I love. He's like, flee, my friend, into your solitude. I see you dazed by the noise of great men and stung by the stings of the little. So good. And why I love this is because how often are we all that? How often do we put something in our ear just to entertain us, not to listen to our own voice? And there is a solitude inside of great men he talks about that is inaccessible to praise or blame. You know, when I had to start over and change my career entirely, the world was really loud. Everybody was telling me, how could you leave this job? How could you go do a new thing?

• 14:06Codie Sanchez?

  You work at the highest levels of finance. And I had to find a part of me, that like inner part inside of yourself that listens to no one. And I guess I want to ask you kind of a tough question, which is when was the last time you did that? When did you sit truly alone, as the kids say these days, raw dog in life, without any entertainment? Because the danger and test of being alone, he often talks about, is that everything that you carry within you grows, including that inner beast inside of you. So I know solitude isn't automatically good because it magnifies whatever the fuck is in there, you know? And so oftentimes we think about loneliness poorly because we haven't actually integrated who we are. No founder exemplifies the path of solitude like Sarah Blakely, you know, shapewear brand

• 14:51Codie Sanchez?

  Spanx, billionaire, huge business. But her path was lonely. Investors told her Spanx was dumb. The fashion insiders were completely dismissive and manufacturers couldn't meet her small early quotas. She literally got told no continuously throughout her entire career. But she didn't workshop the idea. She didn't pull friends. She didn't go listen to people on the internet or any of the people that told her no. She literally cut the feet out of pantyhose in her apartment alone and scaled it into a unicorn company. And like, it's a perfect example of this solitude inaccessible to praise or blame. The ability to think and build without constantly responding to other people's reactions.

• 15:32Codie Sanchez?

  That kind of solitude is rare now. Most creators are exposed to feedback constantly. The result is work shaped by reaction rather than conviction. And this is why newsletters still matter. A newsletter lets you develop ideas over time in your own voice without immediate judgment. And Beehive is built around the principles that your voice deserves direct distribution, audience ownership, monetization. I've been using Beehive for years and Beehive has taught me one thing. As a great creator, I want complete control, a place to build deliberately, grow steadily, and eventually turn this into my own billion dollar business. Whether you are looking for the million dollar business that you have,

• 16:13Codie Sanchez?

  or you just want your voice to be heard to the many and to stand out from this world where other people allow you to speak or not, that is why I'm obsessed with Beehive and why I invested in this company. So if you don't already have a newsletter, go to beehiiv.com and start one. If you do already have a newsletter, you should probably switch to beehiiv.com and use the code CODI30 for 30% off for three months. I can safely say to you that this business is one of my favorite in the world. If I could own more of it, I would. It's also spelled funny because, you know, we're weird here, which is B E E H I I V dot com. So Beehive, two I's, no E at the end, dot com.

• 16:54Codie Sanchez?

  Because the truth is, being alone and writing is probably one of the most powerful things you can do. And so Nietzsche talks about this at length. For him, being constantly immersed in the crowd means you're not actually thinking. You're running shared scripts. Solitude is how you reclaim original thought and as he would say, "Drink from your own cistern," which is, which is basically a mechanism for holding water or drink. But I think about this a lot because right now I bet you can imagine, like I know, for instance, I love my mom dearly. If she's listening, I'm sorry, mom, but she like, she doesn't. Understand why I want to be alone so much. In fact, like the other weekend, you know, they're like, we want to come with you next when we go to our, our beach house. And I'm so busy right now that the thought of another human talking to me during the weekend, when I am on

• 17:38Codie Sanchez?

  my own time, is actually physically painful to me. Like, have you ever been in that moment where you're like, I just need to be alone more. And so I've gotten used to this. And it is going to piss off people around you. It pisses off my family often. They're like, you have time, we can come. I'm like, I know. The, the, the problem is that I really love to be myself. Because as he would say, in loneliness, the lonely one eats himself. In a crowd, the many eat him. Now choose. So either you face yourself, or you're consumed by the herd. There is no neutral. And most writers, or Jungian followers, or philosophers phrase it this way. What isolates us is not literal distance from others, but distance from expressing who we really are. So when you

• 18:21Codie Sanchez?

  close that gap by choosing yourself and speaking from the self, you naturally become less reactive to surface lights. You're just harder to mess with. You know, this is how you become that unreactive leader. We've talked about in other videos. You do what Yang, one of my favorite mentors, taught me, which is pulling yourself on the balcony. That is a Jungian thought, which is, how do I, in the midst of chaos, if I am on a battlefield right now, I imagine anytime my emotions crazy, I'm fighting with people, I don't like what's happening, I imagine a battlefield around me, and I imagine myself going and standing up on a balcony and looking within it. This is how you pull yourself out. And the only way you can do this, not become a reactive human, who has no ability to control your emotions, who acts unreasonably, who gets triggered and fired

• 19:03Codie Sanchez?

  up, is to go into solitude. That's where you access that which is incomparable in you. And I think it is hard because it's dangerous, and it intensifies whatever is inside you. But, you know, if we know that this is the most important thing that we can do, that it's really just what Jung says, I am what I choose to become. And I become that when I am by myself. You know, Nietzsche also talks about the higher type goes alone. And so this person is, is indifferent to praise or blame, because he answers to his own measure, not the herd. This is even Robert Greene talks about non-reactivity and resentment, and how resentment is physiologically ruinous.

• 19:49Codie Sanchez?

  You know, the really strong see resentment as beneath them. The weak are consumed by it, right? And so you'll find weak minded individuals, they hold resentment and you can change. If you're weak minded now, you can change that. But strategic non reaction, which I kind of think of like a bear hibernating. Like I might be having some feels while you're talking to me for a second. I might really have some emotion, but I kind of think about it like I'm going to talk to that bear in a second, but I'm going to be here unemotionally in the meantime. And it's sort of funny because like the team the other day I was doing a photo shoot and there were snakes crawling all over me and tarantulas and scorpions and hissing cockroaches, my least favorite for the record.

• 20:29Codie Sanchez?

  And, and I don't like snakes and I don't like tarantulas and I don't like scorpions and I don't like cockroaches. I don't like any of these and I especially don't like them. At the one point where the woman goes, sorry, the snakes are smelly because they peed all over themselves in the box while we put these huge pythons on top of you. I was not thrilled, nor was I thrilled when one of the pythons literally slithered up and hit my face with its face. That's not thrilling for me. But I was like, the team was like, you're so calm. It didn't even bother you. I go, no, I mean, I have all the feelings about it. I just let it hibernate because I know I can come back and deal with that. And so I think you can just, you become more of who you want to be. That strong leader in a sea of waves of emotion.

• 21:14Codie Sanchez?

  When you go to isolation, because that comes with consciousness instead of lashing out at the world for not mirroring you. I think loneliness actually comes from not being able to express what matters. Okay, so I want to talk about something that, you know, maybe I'm getting close to. I guess I'm midlife now, but during midlife, the psyche asks a brutal question, which is, is this all you are? Oof. When the answer is no, the persona begins to crack, meaning when you know that you're capable of more. And the crack shows up as you're unhappy. You're unhappy at life, you're impulsive, you're longing for meaning, not status. And this is why midlife crises often look irrational. They aren't about logic, at least according to Jung. They're about identity starvation.

• 21:58Codie Sanchez?

  So the crisis happens because the old identity worked super well. And now all of a sudden there's some fissure that's happened and it's obsolete. So what I try to think about is what if this is your opportunity, not your disaster? If somewhere right now, you're struggling in some aspect of your life, you're having a midlife crisis. I had a quarter life crisis in my career. I'm sure I'll have another midlife crisis. I'll have to change something out. And every single time I've had one of those, it's the opportunity of a lifetime. What if it's yours? I want to talk about burnout, which he would describe as chronic shadow suppression, which basically means burnout is not you're overworked. Plenty of people work hard without burning out. So what's the difference? Why can this person work forever and that person hates their life at the same job? Well, what happens when you live too long against your nature?

• 22:43Codie Sanchez?

  You suppress parts of yourself to maintain this identity and your shadow does all the labor while the persona takes the credit. So like common shadow suppressions that lead to burnout, suppressed anger, you're exhausted. Suppressed ambition, you're resentful. Suppressed vulnerability, you feel nothing inside. Suppressed creativity, depression disguised as fatigue. You know, Jung warned that ignored parts of the psyche, they don't disappear, they turn into symptoms. So burnout is actually your psyche saying, I cannot keep carrying what you refuse to acknowledge. An identity collapse is like your ego losing control. And so I think that feels terrifying for all of us because it removes the story you use to explain yourself. A lot of times in like the literature I've seen on Jung, people describe it as, I don't know who I am anymore.

• 23:28Codie Sanchez?

  Nothing I built feels real. And this happens when we've really confused our ego with the persona. And your unconscious is saying, these two things cannot live inside me at the same time. It's like oil and water, you just cannot make them come together. And so this old median kind of dissolves. And this isn't madness, it's sort of disorientation maybe before reorientation. And I think not enough people today, because we can be so distracted, like you might not even realize the phase that you're in. And I'm not a psychologist, I'm not saying you're not depressed if you're depressed and you should go and talk to doctors and I'm not giving medical advice. All I'm saying is what I think some of the best philosophers of our time, the best psychologists

• 24:10Codie Sanchez?

  of our time have thought about this and how we can reorganize around the self instead of the ego. And that's been one of, I think, the main crises that often hit high performers. Like if you are a high performer, Like I consider myself to be, you actually have a higher likelihood of this happening to you because society over rewards competence. So we're really good at ignoring internal signs. Your persona is highly reinforced, AKA I am this because I got money and praise and authority and likes on the internet. But the unconscious doesn't give a fuck. And so, you know, Jung observed the more one-sided a personality becomes. So if I just get too into YouTube likes or talking to people on a podcast and I stop listening to the other

• 24:55Codie Sanchez?

  person and I make it all about myself, well, then the more violent the correction is going to be. And that explains why I've seen executives burn out after making it. In fact, I just saw one flame out live. And I remember watching and thinking, this is an adult. This is a grown man flaming out. And I could tell why. Because a lot of times, if you mess with your persona, they didn't fail. They just, he outgrew the identity that got him there. And individuation doesn't ask you to destroy your life. It asks you to stop living only as a rule. And if you won't do it, the universe will kick you in the ass another way. That's what I've found. So it basically is up to you or the universe. Because if you don't build a life that reflects your internal truth, and I don't mean that in a touchy feely sort of way, I mean, like,

• 25:40Codie Sanchez?

  you know. And if you don't do it, then you're not going to have external rewards anymore. They will take it away. And so at some point, you are going to have to be the one to say no to the applause, to disappoint people, to let old versions of your life die. Then Jung was explicit, this is so good. He says, "There is no coming to consciousness without pain." Buddha might say, "There's no life without suffering." So what can we do to become one with the darkness, as Bain says. So I stole some ideas from Jungian philosophers. And there's a couple of things that I do. You'll see it on my calendar. I have a weekly solitude block. So schedule one to two hour block per week with no phone, no meetings, no input. You can journal, you can walk, you can read original sources, not on your phone. You can

• 26:24Codie Sanchez?

  think about one hard problem. Like, what am I pretending not to know right now? If I were not afraid of others' opinions, what would I do differently? What's the one decision I'm avoiding because it will isolate me? And your goal is to train what Nietzsche talks about with your ability to drink out of your own cistern, instead of drinking from everybody else's. You know, the principle is basically, as Jung would say, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I chose to become." And so, this is going to demand your segment from the crowd. And how you do this is something called the self-contract. So, once per year, I like to do it in the new year, you could do it right now, this is a good time of year, I write a one-page contract. And you'll see it on my phone, I keep it in my notes. I choose, and the contract typically for me goes something like this.

• 27:09Codie Sanchez?

  "I choose to become the kind of person who," and I list three to five identity statements, not goals, no, no, no. "These are non-negotiables I will hold up even if it costs me status, approval, or belonging." So, that might be like, you know, "I am the type of person that gets up every day at 6:00 in the morning. I am the type of person that always puts my husband first. I am the type of person that does the things I say I will do." And when you sign it, and date it, and review it consistently, it'll help you shift from reactive identity to a chosen identity. You are choosing to be this type of person. And this is based on decades and decades and decades of theory and study.

• 27:52Codie Sanchez?

  Then you go to your inner advisory board, and anytime you're struggling, you talk to that inner cast of characters and voices, dialogue in with them. That's that part of becoming whole again. And if you do this, then your whole life will change. And so, I think about it like, I have something called the chair exercise. So, when I'm stuck on a decision, I write down my three inner voices, you know, I call mine, I call mine the visionary, the operator, and the protector. And I give each a page, like we talked about, I let it write uncentered. And then that short synthesis comes up about what I'll actually do as the head of the Board of Directors, and I execute on it. That's it. It's what you'll actually do and why.

• 28:38Codie Sanchez?

  And the goal, instead of being unconsciously driven by one voice, is that you listen to all of them after you really say what type of person you want to become. Because the sad part is, nobody cares about your potential. Potential is worthless. Everyone has potential. And what separates the greats from the wannabes is reality. Finished work, shipped products, written pages, solved problems. Stop talking about what you could do and go create proof of what you did. Even if all you do is just spend time alone with yourself, you might actually end up liking the person that you find. Thank you guys for letting me yell at you today. I have been reading a lot of these philosophers and I keep coming back to this idea that all

• 29:21Codie Sanchez?

  the great philosophies have been written, all the truths have been said before. And we go to this world where everything is just milquetoast and oatmeal type advice. And when you go back to somebody like Nietzsche or Jung, like their words hit you in the gut because they were from a non-PC era where it didn't matter how you felt, you just had to listen and there weren't that many voices that were loud. There weren't that many voices that were loud because there weren't that many platforms. And so only a few got to really stand out and those few tended to be incredible and deep and sophisticated. And so you'll have to tell me if you like this episode because if you do, I'll do more like this.

• 30:03Codie Sanchez?

  We'll call them Cody yells at you, Cody bullies you, Cody rants at you. I don't know. Put it in the comments what you guys want. But my hope for this podcast is you not only build a better business, a better bank account, a better community, but a better brain and a better life. Because what's the point of it all if we don't have that? We are sitting on a generational wealth creation event. If you're here, this means you're a builder. As we're going through these next three days, I want you to know that the American dream starts with you guys by our little Main Street revolution.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  And then I just want to give you guys permission to take a leap of faith.

• 30:46Speaker 04

  If I knew then what I know now, I would probably do bigger deals.

• 30:51Speaker 05

  It's given us an extra layer of security that we never would have had.

• 30:55Codie Sanchez?

  I am so excited to introduce you to some ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

• 31:02Speaker 06

  We have to really take the time to make a meaningful connection. It's the fact that there is a lack of connection and the person just wants to be seen, heard, and understood.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Thanks for taking the question.

• 31:13Speaker 07

  Are there extra things that need to be done when trying to pay off bad debt? Great question.

• 31:20Codie Sanchez?

  I buy businesses so simple, even your grandmother understands them. That's the game.

• 31:25Speaker 06

  It's you and me versus the problem. We're going to try to solve this together.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  I know how to build trust in a very advanced way. How does buying a business fit into the vision for your life?

• 31:36Speaker 07

  Today, my goal is to teach you some fundamental skills that you can use to accelerate your business. If you make a promise in the mirror, know that your word is freaking iron to you.

• 31:46Speaker 06

  These people on Wall Street, they want to keep the normal people out of the game.

• 31:54Codie Sanchez?

  Main Street millionaires are all around this world, and it starts with each and every one of you. What are you waiting for? Your path to ownership starts now. Get your ticket to join us on Main Street. Join us today.

• 32:10Speaker 05

  What's the secret to being a great host this season? Keeping things deliciously simple, like mixing Simply Cranberry into a festive drink as guests arrive, or serving up a warm mug of Simply Apple on a chilly night. That means less time behind the scenes and more time in the moment with everyone. Crafted with real fruit, Simply juices and fruit drinks make any holiday drink effortless, inviting, and completely delicious. Simply, say yes to simple.

• 32:40Speaker 06

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.