Rascally Nincompoop

Conan chats with Nikhil in Bangalore about working as a video creator and talk show host, living in a big house with all his friends, and the portrait of Conan hanging in his favorite pub. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Now Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:05Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:08Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 0:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 0:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Aw man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 0:25Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:37Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  This is the story of the one. As a shipping manager, he's running the dock, stocking supplies, and making sure every order goes out on time. And Granger helps him stay prepared. From shipping supplies, to PPE, to hand tools, he counts on Granger to keep products moving and trucks rolling. So his operation runs smoothly, no matter the shift. Call 1-800-GRANGER, click Granger.com, or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  Hi Nikhil, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

• 1:45Speaker 04

  Hey guys, so nice to be here. You've been in my ears for so long. For yours, yours for yours. So happy to see you guys.

• 1:52Conan O'Brien?

  We've been in your ears for years. Very nice.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, I didn't want to start like that, but it's happened.

• 1:58Conan O'Brien?

  It's what happened. Uh, yeah, and your name is Nikhil, is that correct?

• 2:03Speaker 04

  Uh, it's pronounced Nikhil.

• 2:04Conan O'Brien?

  Nikhil. No, no, no, let's try Nikhil.

• 2:06Speaker 04

  But most people call me Kenny.

• 2:07Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, no, I love correcting people on the pronunciation of their name. It cracks me up. No, Nikhil, Nikhil, and you right now-

• 2:14Speaker 04

  Conan.

• 2:17Conan O'Brien?

  I deserve that. You are in Bangalore, India. Is that correct?

• 2:21Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, sir.

• 2:23Conan O'Brien?

  I have been to India. I was there briefly for work a number of years ago. Actually, Sona came with me on this assignment. And I was in Jaipur, but I've never, I would love, I didn't really get a chance to experience, experience India as much as I wanted to. It's a fascinating country. I love the people and I would love to go and, and visit. Tell me a little bit about yourself, Nikhil.

• 2:47Speaker 04

  Okay, so I live in Bangalore, India, which is in the south. Most people visit places in the north. I think you should come visit the south if you end up, if your ban ends.

• 3:00Conan O'Brien?

  I have to wait for my ban in a lot of countries to end, yeah.

• 3:04Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. It's actually so hard for us Indians to get a visa to come there. So it's nice to hear when you guys have some difficulty coming here.

• 3:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we had, uh, we had, years and years ago, we did a sketch and it's all a misunderstanding, but it was a perfectly fine sketch. But one of our writers went there, but didn't fill out the correct paperwork or something. So we ended up on some list. But I think it's all being taken care of. So, you know.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Awesome.

• 3:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we won't even probably mention that, you know, it probably won't even come up. It, cause it'll all get taken care of. Trust me. I don't think it's a big problem.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  Awesome. So I am a video creator and it sounds insane to say, but I'm also a talk show host.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  I can't believe I'm saying that to you, but yeah, I've done 40 episodes of a show called Menu Please, where I interviewed Netflix stars over a meal. So we went to different restaurants, talked about food and about their movie and it was a lot of fun.

• 4:01Conan O'Brien?

  Well, wait a minute, Nikhil, you see, Nikhil, you are a talk show host. It sounds like you're a very successful one. You've done this show with Netflix stars. It sounds like you're, you're.

• 4:11Speaker 04

  Now here's the catch.

• 4:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  It was a Netflix India YouTube show. So the show was on Netflix YouTube, Netflix's YouTube channel.

• 4:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Um, but I like to say Netflix because it sounds cool. It was awesome. It was one of the coolest experiences.

• 4:25Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I like to say I won an Oscar because it sounds cool, but I didn't. But Nikhil, I would say you are talking to people. Uh, you were, you seem to be having success at it. I, I wouldn't put yourself down. I think, and, and you seem like a very personable, uh, funny guy. I, I think you just, you don't have to qualify it. You are a talk show host. You're having success.

• 4:49Speaker 04

  Fair enough. I am talk show host. Um, it's just surreal to say to you. Um, but one cool thing is you and I have actually interviewed the same person.

• 4:59Conan O'Brien?

  Who's that?

• 5:01Speaker 04

  It's Virdas.

• 5:02Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, Virdas. Yes, of course.

• 5:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's like six degrees of separation, except two.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was, it was super cool. I actually asked him what it was like to, uh, be on the show. He performed stand-up, um, on, on your show way back. And yeah, he just said such great things about you. It was cool.

• 5:21Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, terrific, terrific comedian, very talented and, uh, well, see, no, this is us talking shop because we've interviewed the same person and, uh, it sounds like, is this, and this is something that you're interested in doing professionally for the rest of your life, do you think? Well, not the rest of your life. Uh, I'm not going to do it for my entire life. But, um, I have, still have dreams, dreams. Dreams.

• 5:46Speaker 04

  I hope your dreams come true.

• 5:48Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you.

• 5:50Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you. Well, thank you for that. I would like to be a balloonist.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 5:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'd like to go up in a hot air balloon and travel the world.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Oh, that kind of balloonist. I thought making animals.

• 6:02Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I tried that and it didn't work. The kids were like, that is not a dog. I was like, shut up. You can't hit kids with a balloon, you apparently. Still counts as hitting.

• 6:14Speaker 04

  You sound very qualified for this job.

• 6:18Conan O'Brien?

  So let's, let's keep the conversation on you and not on my crimes. You, you live in Bangalore, India, Nikhil, and you've had some success doing a talk show. And what's your living situation like? Do you live with your parents? Do you live, do you live alone?

• 6:35Speaker 04

  I currently actually live in a four bedroom house with three other guys. And it's very unique, a unique situation. So I'm currently on the top floor. And we live in lowering degrees of a relationship status. So I'm at the top.

• 6:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  And I'm a single guy. Below me, not literally, is a guy who is in a situationship. You know, one of those things. Next to him is a guy who's in a very nice, long-term relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. And below them is a guy who's currently engaged.

• 7:14Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 7:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's, it's quite unique, actually.

• 7:18Conan O'Brien?

  So as you get further down the apartment, you start at the top.

• 7:23Speaker 04

  The more respectable.

• 7:24Conan O'Brien?

  You were, you were single, yes. As you get down, this sort of, yes, the, the more serious the relationships become. And are your roommates, you all, you all get along?

• 7:33Speaker 04

  We do. It's very surprising. There's been no problems, except for one guy.

• 7:40Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, tell me about this one guy.

• 7:42Speaker 04

  Is it you?

• 7:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:43Speaker 04

  No. Oh, wait, he, they probably say that about me, but there's one guy, his name is Jeet. And he, all he does is, he's a serial rascal. Is that a thing I can say?

• 7:54Conan O'Brien?

  Serial rascal?

• 7:55Speaker 04

  He's, he's just a rascal, yeah.

• 7:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, wow, you, you really blew the doors off. You can't talk that way. You can't use the, you can't call someone a rascal. He may, his reputation may never recover if this was 200 years ago. No, you can call someone a rascal. That basically just means they're kind of fun.

• 8:16Speaker 04

  Amazing. Next I'm gonna call him a nincompoop.

• 8:19Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, your language, we're gonna have to put a, a warning on this podcast.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  It's gonna be all beeps.

• 8:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I mean, if you're a child and you're living in 1820, you might not want to listen to this podcast.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  Although it's still probably okay.

• 8:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. Nincompoop, rascal? So, um, okay, so your roommates, uh, it's a good group. Like, if I visited you, you, me and the roommates would get along, you think?

• 8:46Speaker 04

  Hundred percent. Um, there's one tall guy, so you'd have somebody to look in the eye with. Uh, there's one guy who's super responsible, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, so.

• 8:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  I guess you can not do those things with him.

• 8:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  And there's me at the top, just making videos, so I, I, I guess we could do that. I'm not very interesting, to be honest. Uh, and then there's, uh, the annoying guy, who we can call a nincompoop together. That'd be great.

• 9:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, rascally nincompoop, we'll call him.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:13Conan O'Brien?

  So, uh, okay, and will any of your roommates be familiar with me or my work if we, if I visit?

• 9:19Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, so one of them, the tall guy, actually, I put all of them in, I, I spread this podcast like the plague. I've been listening to every episode. Um, so anytime we're doing a long road trip, that, this is what I put on. Um, my favorite is the John Krasinski episode. It makes me laugh out loud. Uh, so one of my roommates, Enis, his name is, um, we, yeah, he, he's a big fan. He's asleep right now, but if he knew that I was talking to you right now, he'd lose it.

• 9:46Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, really? He's a, he's a Conan fan?

• 9:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  And you didn't tell him?

• 9:51Speaker 04

  I didn't tell him.

• 9:51Conan O'Brien?

  So he, he's asleep right now, he's a big fan of mine, and he doesn't, and you're in Bangalore, India, and you and I are having a conversation, and he sleeps not knowing that the greatest hero of his life is speaking to you on the top floor.

• 10:07Speaker 04

  That is exactly right.

• 10:09Conan O'Brien?

  How would he react if I walked into his room? Does he know, so he doesn't know that you and I are talking? If I, if I were to walk into his room, what, how do you think he would react?

• 10:18Speaker 04

  After his stroke, I think he just like, I don't know, hug you and he's a fun guy. He's like one of those extreme polar opposite personality guys where when he's in work mode, like he doesn't talk, he just walks through the room and he's just like a white walker from Game of Thrones and he's very focused. But when he's out and having fun, he's just the most fun guy, making everybody, you know, just have a great time. So I think he turned into that mode after this said stroke.

• 10:47Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, this guy, I like this guy. He's a, he's a big Conan fan, uh, and I would love to, it'd be fun to surprise him, I think. You know, I think, and then we could all, we could all go out, have a good time. What would we do for fun?

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Okay, so Bangalore, uh, used to be the garden capital of India. Um, then it became the Silicon Valley of India. Um, and so they removed all the gardens, but throughout this, it's always been the pub capital of India. So we have a insane pub culture here and I know all of you, Sona, Matt, I know you guys especially will have a great time over here. In fact, there's a pub called Toit over here, T O I T. It's like super famous.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  Toit!

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Toit, yeah. Toit!

• 11:31Speaker 04

  Yes, all of the above are alarmed.

• 11:34Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I love? You know what I, you know what I love? Nikhil just got as annoyed with you as we do.

• 11:42Conan O'Brien?

  He doesn't, he just met you. He's in Bangalore and he went, uh, yeah, right.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  I thought we were all doing the Toit. No, no, you didn't do it.

• 11:53Conan O'Brien?

  You maybe overdid it.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  I'll do it with you just to make you feel.

• 11:57Conan O'Brien?

  Um, wow, uh.

• 11:58Speaker 04

  But, but the, the cool thing about Toit is, um, so they brew their own beer. I'd love for you to review it considering you're an Irishman and you guys.

• 12:07Conan O'Brien?

  I like the beer, sure, yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:10Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, look at you and your.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  They also have restrooms.

• 12:12Conan O'Brien?

  Uh huh.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  And in front of the.

• 12:14Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, I love, I love a bar with a restroom.

• 12:19Conan O'Brien?

  That just went to the top of my Yelp review. They have a restroom! Eleven stars! Uh, okay, so, so if this bar, uh, please tell me more, this bar Toit has a restroom, yes?

• 12:33Speaker 04

  They have restrooms.

• 12:36Conan O'Brien?

  This is important, yes.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  I think it's pronounced "toi", by the way. I think it's some French word. No, it's... Oliver's Bangalorian. "Toi".

• 12:42Conan O'Brien?

  Please. Here it's... Sona has decreed that it is "toi". Anyway, "toi".

• 12:57Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 13:00Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:07Conan O'Brien?

  You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 13:14Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that. Earning the title of America's Best SUV Brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 13:23Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 13:27Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 13:31Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen. Whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 13:47Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid...

• 13:50Speaker 01

  It should.

• 13:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 14:22Conan O'Brien?

  Your name represents everything you've built, okay? Everything. Like, I feel that way about my name.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:27Conan O'Brien?

  It stands for all of the work, good and not so good in my life. But guess what? Your children's names represent their whole futures.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:36Conan O'Brien?

  Your children haven't even started building their futures, but their identities are already valuable. Your child's clean credit history can make them a target for identity thieves. Never thought about that. That way, but it's true. Identity thieves can open loans and credit cards using your child's social security number, racking up debt and ruining their credit. And you may not notice until they try and get their first credit card. So it could be a long time.

• 14:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:58Conan O'Brien?

  Well, guess what? With LifeLock, you can add family members to your plan, giving you the power to block identity threats targeting your children. Now, Sony, your kids are pretty young still.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  They are.

• 15:07Conan O'Brien?

  Five, but within a couple of years, you know, they're gonna be buying heavy machinery online.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  What?

• 15:13Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna be, become tractor fanatics. They're gonna be buying tractors online. So if you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. So join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 15:36Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sony? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 15:41Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 15:41Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  Or Oki. Or my dog.

• 15:43Conan O'Brien?

  And then your, your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:54Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. Little early to buy a turkey. Doesn't matter. Holidays, I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 16:30Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I wanna try something different.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  What?

• 16:32Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 16:36Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:38Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 16:45Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 16:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You wanna hear what they are?

• 16:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:50Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:52Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Oh, that's weird.

• 16:59Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider. And, uh, that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 17:08Speaker 01

  You travel a lot.

• 17:09Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 17:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:11Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 17:21Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 17:22Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  OK.

• 17:24Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 17:29Speaker 01

  My god.

• 17:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 17:34Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best based on analysis by Euclid of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com. Consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 18:05Speaker 04

  So in front of the restrooms, they have a portrait of you.

• 18:10Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 18:11Speaker 04

  And every time I go there and I get piss drunk and I have to go get pissed.

• 18:16Conan O'Brien?

  You have to.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  Because I'm drunk.

• 18:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, you have to.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  Am I drunk right now?

• 18:20Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I don't think so.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  Sorry, it's 1:30 in the night. I take a selfie with that portrait every time. I have a collection. I have a folder, actually, on my phone.

• 18:29Conan O'Brien?

  Let's see.

• 18:29Speaker 04

  With images.

• 18:30Conan O'Brien?

  Bring one up. Yeah, bring one up.

• 18:32Speaker 04

  With images of me with.

• 18:33Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my god! Oh, wow. That way, why is that? That is a.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  This is a restroom.

• 18:37Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute. Why does it say restrooms? And then a photo of me?

• 18:42Speaker 04

  With a barn owl for some reason.

• 18:44Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah, no, that was when we were launching the TBS show a number of years ago. I'm, I guess I'm flattered that if you go to Bangalore.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:54Conan O'Brien?

  And you go to Twight and you go to use the restroom. Is it for the men's room or the women's room? Or both.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  What would you prefer?

• 19:04Conan O'Brien?

  Um, you know, I'm gender fluid.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  Wait, you are flattered by this? Don't you want the picture to be more sort of out in the open?

• 19:12Conan O'Brien?

  No, I've learned, I've learned that everyone goes to the restroom, especially at a bar.

• 19:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, footfall is high. It's the perfect place.

• 19:19Conan O'Brien?

  It's, it's the most trafficked area. So I often, if a place has a photo of me, and sometimes they do, you know, sort of downscale, you know, burger joints where I've gone and I've made them put up a picture of me. They, I ask, I ask them to put me near the restroom.

• 19:36Speaker 03

  But it doesn't bother you that your picture is associated with people just going pee pee and poo poo?

• 19:41Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, those are beautiful. That's how we, those are, that's how we live. That's how, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry that Matt just used those offensive terms.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:52Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, you, you, of course, you started with, you started with rascal.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  I thought I was bad. He's a pirate.

• 19:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Pee pee poo poo guy.

• 19:59Conan O'Brien?

  Um, yeah.

• 20:01Speaker 04

  You'll be pleased to know the portrait is in between both rooms. So the doors are on either side, if you can imagine that. Everybody can see this image when they go to pee.

• 20:13Conan O'Brien?

  People associate me with, with great bladder discomfort.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:17Conan O'Brien?

  That's, uh, no, okay, well, um.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  You're a laxative.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 20:22Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe, maybe. Uh, I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued, A, that you have a roommate who's a big fan, B, that there's a portrait of me. I mean, there's a lot that recommends Bangalore. I have one fan and there's a picture of me, uh, in or near a restroom. Um, and what about, uh, your career? Are you enjoying your, your work as a talk show host? Are you enjoying it?

• 20:49Speaker 04

  So I'm currently between hosting jobs, which means I, those shows are ended. Um, so one of the shows was Menu Please, the other was Food Wars, another show where I reviewed fast food. Um, and both of those are over because we've run out of both celebrities and fast food joints here in India. Um, and I'm currently, I guess, in a, in a state of figuring. Out what I want to work on and I'm actually thinking of working on a talk show. Here in India and the premise of which is I take a small crew, go to a sort of enter a stranger's home with their permission. Set up over there and shoot every episode interviewing an ordinary person in their unique house, talking about their unique items and what makes them them. Um, that's the idea right now.

• 21:34Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's a cool idea. I kind of like that idea. I mean, the problem is every now and then you'll get, you know. People who aren't great, but murdered. No, you won't get murdered, but um, yeah, but it's like when you do a talk show, there are good nights. There are nights that aren't as good. It's, you know, it's luck of the draw if you're in a volume business, but I like that idea. Um, and uh, and who knows, maybe you and I would come up with some kind of show together, you know, we could do a show.

• 22:04Speaker 04

  I am gonna clip that and listen to it every day of my life until it happens.

• 22:11Conan O'Brien?

  But it's uh, it's, it's always possible. Maybe we could think of an idea, you know, something that, that works where we're co-hosts of some kind of show. You know, we shoot it, we shoot an episode and we get it on the air and we get it out there to the people of India. What do you think of that?

• 22:27Speaker 04

  I think that's a pretty bad idea. I'm just kidding. That's the best idea I've heard in my goddamn life.

• 22:33Conan O'Brien?

  You really had me convinced it was a bad idea there for a second. Um, well.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  No, that would be an honor.

• 22:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. So we can always think of what that is. We need that right, that spark of inspiration.

• 22:46Conan O'Brien?

  Good one.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Shoot it from toy.

• 22:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, you could shoot it from toy. Oh, we could shoot an episode of the show, I think. At you've, you've stumbled onto something here, Matt.

• 22:55Speaker 04

  I have.

• 22:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, by saying twight, you made it clear that we shoot the episode, uh, we set up. The in in front of the portrait of me that exists.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  The bathrooms.

• 23:08Conan O'Brien?

  Between the two, the the ladies' room, the men's room.

• 23:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:11Conan O'Brien?

  And uh.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  We can interview people going in and out.

• 23:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we can interview people. We could interview people going in and out, going to the bathroom.

• 23:19Speaker 04

  How was your bowel movement?

• 23:21Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, now you've.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  Well, it would have to be asked.

• 23:24Speaker 04

  I did. It was the obvious.

• 23:25Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's coming on, that's on the way out. What you you interview them on the way in.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 23:29Conan O'Brien?

  And that way, the interviews have to be short because they really can't hang out long.

• 23:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, cuz also if they come, if you get them on the way out, maybe they didn't wash their hands. And touch them.

• 23:38Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well.

• 23:39Speaker 04

  Are you touching them?

• 23:40Speaker 01

  No, are you touching them to shake their hands?

• 23:42Conan O'Brien?

  You have to in in it's talk show etiquette.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  I guess you have to.

• 23:45Conan O'Brien?

  You have to, yeah, you have to shake their hands. And often, I I just wanna say, in all the years that I did talk shows, which was almost thirty years, often I could tell they had just used the restroom and not wiped their hands.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 23:56Conan O'Brien?

  True story, true story. Al Roker, serial offender.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 24:00Conan O'Brien?

  Disgusting, disgusting man. You'd hear the flush and he'd come out just as he was introduced. And you could tell those hands haven't been washed. They're dry.

• 24:11Conan O'Brien?

  Roker, Al Roker.

• 24:12Speaker 04

  Um, like I said, great idea for for the show.

• 24:15Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I love it that I'm pitching myself to Nikhil in Bangalore, India, and he's uh not enthused.

• 24:25Conan O'Brien?

  This is this.

• 24:26Speaker 04

  This is my resting state of enthusiasm.

• 24:28Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, really? You know what? That could be blood sugar.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  So enthusiastic.

• 24:31Conan O'Brien?

  That could be blood sugar. You know, you should look into that. You should make sure you.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  Probably, it's also one thirty in the night right now, and I I feel zonked but excited at the same time. I feel it's just very confusing.

• 24:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  Um, and also surreal.

• 24:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's a little bit of a. It's a little bit of a fever dream, it feels like almost, yes.

• 24:49Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 24:50Conan O'Brien?

  I'm intrigued.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  Co-hosting.

• 24:52Conan O'Brien?

  I'm intrigued by uh, there's a lot of things that impressed me with Nikhil. I think that you're a uh, I I think he's, you just seem like a natural to me. You're very funny, and I think you'd be, uh, I think you are a terrific talk show host. I can tell just by by chatting with you.

• 25:08Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 25:09Conan O'Brien?

  I'm intrigued by this idea you have for a new talk show uh in in Bangalore. I'm a little intrigued by this roommate who's a fan. Um, you say a bit, you say a big fan?

• 25:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, we call him Anus. And we don't know why. It's like one of those names you-

• 25:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that sounds like someone who'd like my stuff.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  Create for your name.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Is that not his name? I thought when he first said it, I thought that was his actual name.

• 25:34Speaker 04

  Oh, that's my bad. No, his name is Aniruddh. His name is Aniruddh. But we call him Anus.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  And you don't know why?

• 25:41Conan O'Brien?

  You don't know why?

• 25:42Speaker 04

  No, it's like something that entered the zeitgeist of this house without us realizing it. It just sort of flowed in. And we call him Anus now.

• 25:52Speaker 01

  I thought it was his name and I was like, don't laugh, Sona. Everybody thought it. When we first heard Anus, we all stopped ourselves from laughing. We all thought it.

• 26:01Conan O'Brien?

  Nikhil, in a house, a house with all these guys, the one who's a big Conan fan is called Anus.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Uh huh, yeah.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, to be fair, he's not like, let the name stuck yet. Like when we, when we say Anus out loud, he turns and then he gives this face of like, oh, I can't believe I'm allowing this to happen. So when you come here, if you christen him officially, I think he'll be, uh, it'll stick from then on.

• 26:27Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I guess that's a good reason to fly all the way to India.

• 26:31Conan O'Brien?

  Is to make sure that the name Anus sticks.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  Just recap, your biggest fan is named Anus and your portrait is hanging between two bathrooms.

• 26:40Conan O'Brien?

  This is fantastic, Nikhil. I feel enlightened. I feel lifted. Uh, well, I like you. You're a fine fellow, I think, uh, and I, I do, I do think you've got what it takes. I really do. I think you're a, I think you're a natural. Do you think that I'd be able to help you? Get your concept for a talk show where you go to people's houses? Do you think I could help you get that off the ground if I, if I came to Bangalore?

• 27:04Speaker 04

  Absolutely. I mean, um, for, for starters, I'd love to do, uh, a full pilot with you. Um, perhaps in your hotel room or my bedroom right here, we could shoot one of these episodes. That sounded weird the way I said it, but the episode will be completely fine.

• 27:20Conan O'Brien?

  No, it's-

• 27:20Speaker 04

  And not strange at all.

• 27:21Conan O'Brien?

  It's totally normal in, in this business, uh, to invite people to, to do a, an interview in their bedroom.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 27:28Conan O'Brien?

  That's how I got started.

• 27:30Speaker 04

  It would be great. It would almost be like, uh, training for me. You could be a guest and a coach at the same time.

• 27:36Conan O'Brien?

  Terrific. Yeah, yeah.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  Either way.

• 27:38Conan O'Brien?

  And what, what are we, are we do- Yeah, go ahead.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Sorry, go ahead.

• 27:41Conan O'Brien?

  No, you go, you go ahead.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  You go ahead. This is my show. This is how I'd be on my show. I'd allow you to speak first.

• 27:48Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, well, yes, I could be a guest. I could also maybe give you some pointers from my almost thirty years of experience. And what about my fee? Do we talk about that now, or is that something that comes up later?

• 28:03Speaker 04

  Later, like a lot later. Lot, lot, lot.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Very late.

• 28:11Conan O'Brien?

  You're gonna do very well, Nikhil. You're gonna do very, very well in this business.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 28:16Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Nikhil, I really, I like talking to you, and I hope we get to cross paths, because that would be very cool.

• 28:23Speaker 04

  Me too. This has been a huge, huge honor, and so nice to meet you guys, Sonam and Matt as well.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 28:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. Awesome.

• 28:38Conan O'Brien?

  I really do think we're talking about, I think it's low blood sugar. I really do. You just seem to lose all energy at different points, Nikhil. You have to keep some almonds in your pocket, okay? Chocolate-covered almonds.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make sure.

• 28:51Conan O'Brien?

  That's my first tip as a talk show host.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Done.

• 28:53Conan O'Brien?

  Almonds in your pocket. That saved Colbert. I told him that. I could see him lose energy, and he's been a superstar ever since.

• 29:00Speaker 04

  Perfect.

• 29:00Conan O'Brien?

  Saved his career. Hey, thank you so much, Nikhil. Very cool to talk to you, and we'll see what happens.

• 29:06Speaker 04

  Thank you so much. Bye-bye.

• 29:09Conan O'Brien?

  Take care.

• 29:09Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 29:10Conan O'Brien?

  Bye-bye.

• 29:12Speaker 05

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 29:29Speaker 05

  Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Bern. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.

• 29:57Speaker 06

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