#667 - Duncan Trussell

Duncan Trussell is a stand up comedian and podcaster. Check out his shows “The Duncan Trussell Family Hour” and “Mystery Boys” w/ Kurt Metzger. Duncan joins Theo to talk about the perils of pioneer times, how we can escape the prison of algorithms, and what enlightenment really looks like. Duncan Trussell: https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell/ ------------------------------------------------- Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Acorns: Go to http://acorns.com/theo to get your $20 bonus investment today! Manscaped: Thanks to MANSCAPED for sponsoring today’s episode! Get 15% OFF + Free Shipping on The Lawn Mower® 5.0 Ultra in colorway Desert Sand with code “THEO” at http://Manscaped.com! Mountain Dew: Look for American Dew limited-time packaging or find it in stores near you at http://mountaindew.com Perplexity AI: Ask anything at https://pplx.ai/theo Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on our episodes. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Mail stuff to: ATTN: TPW PO BOX 40137 Nashville TN 37204 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend X: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Andrew https://www.instagram.com/bleachmediaofficial/ Producer: Halston https://www.instagram.com/halstonrays/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Theo Von?

  This episode is sponsored by Mountain Dew. Look for American Dew limited time packaging or find it in stores near you at mountain dew dot com. Today's guest is a standup comedian, podcaster, and just a downright cosmic adventurer, adventurer. He's got his own show, The Duncan Trussell Family Hour, and his new podcast, Mystery Boys with Kurt Metzger, always a blast, the one and only Mr. Duncan Trussell.

• 0:50Speaker 01

  Whoa. Look at that. What kind of cameras are you guys? Jesus Christ, he's so inspirational.

• 0:58Theo Von?

  These are flock cameras we're using.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, Palantir, baby. Palantir.

• 1:03Theo Von?

  We now work for Palantir. But these are, we're using flock cameras.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  It's incredible.

• 1:08Theo Von?

  This can see right all the way through my eyes, through my past, my history, all the way into my mother's body.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Past lives.

• 1:15Theo Von?

  Yes.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Gets into your past incarnations, too. It's pretty cool. Tech is amazing these days.

• 1:20Theo Von?

  We good, Zach?

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Look at the lighting. You guys are good. Look at this shit.

• 1:24Theo Von?

  What do you mean? You have a podcast.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  No, fuck, dude. This is next level. You're like, I love Josh in my studio. It's great, but I don't have this guy. Like, I, look at me. I look good in this light.

• 1:33Theo Von?

  Dude, you definitely, bro, you look, I will say this.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  It's the lighting.

• 1:37Theo Von?

  It's Conestoga wagon times, right? Like, it's the old days and it's like, you know?

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:42Theo Von?

  It's, there's a Conestoga wagon.

• 1:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:45Theo Von?

  And it stalled out on the side of the road, right?

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:47Theo Von?

  Because anything could have happened when you had a Conestoga wagon, because you had wooden wheels, remember?

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do.

• 1:52Theo Von?

  And dude, you could have gotten termites overnight.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Well, many things. Termites, I mean, just think of wooden wheels on some old fucked up, there's nobody's paving roads back then. You're going through forests, creeks.

• 2:05Theo Von?

  Your wife is guessing where a road could be?

• 2:07Speaker 01

  If she's still alive, she doesn't have an arrow through her throat, and she's not choking on her own blood spray. Your wagon's stained with blood.

• 2:16Theo Von?

  Yeah, you had 11 kids. Your wife has had kids this week.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  This week.

• 2:19Theo Von?

  Like, that's, it was like that. People don't realize what it was like.

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Oh, no. No, people don't.

• 2:24Theo Von?

  We know, because we've had past lives.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember.

• 2:27Theo Von?

  Oh dude, I remember sitting on like a um like a hillside or whatever, because everything back then was a hillside.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, all hills.

• 2:35Theo Von?

  Remember that?

• 2:36Speaker 01

  All hills.

• 2:37Theo Von?

  Remember, everything was hillside. It's like now there's like a lot of pavement, there's flattened areas.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Thank you, CERN. The fucking particle accelerator fucked everything up. Now there's flat places. It used to just be a series of hills.

• 2:49Theo Von?

  Everything was a hillside.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  I know.

• 2:51Theo Von?

  Everything, dude, even people's bodies, you'd have one, like you'd have the strong side of your father and the weaker side because of how he walked to work.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 2:58Theo Von?

  You know, because you'd have to walk at an angle and everybody was.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Diagonal.

• 3:01Theo Von?

  Yes.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Everybody walked diagonally.

• 3:04Theo Von?

  It was so different. But dude, in the, like, even your wagon could easily, you wake up in the night, some termites had showed up, or like a gang of termites, or Italians, some people called them, right?

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 3:14Theo Von?

  Showed up. And ate a spoke off your wagon wheel.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 3:19Theo Von?

  And you got a flat.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Well, Italians used to eat wood. So you would literally, you didn't even know what it was. Was it like a wild, ravaging group of Italians, or was it termites?

• 3:29Theo Von?

  Yeah, you'd have no idea.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, Conestoga wagonwood was like the precursor to pizza, apparently.

• 3:34Theo Von?

  Oh, it's called the first pasta in some cultures, dude. That's the craziest thing.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Doesn't Conestoga mean pasta? It means pasta wagon.

• 3:44Theo Von?

  Well, dude, it's just, of course, like, you could see like some strong-jawed Italians showing up, right? I mean, he's just.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Big jaw.

• 3:53Theo Von?

  Well, he's so strong-jawed, just because, you know, his neck and everything is strong from wearing all of his chains. They wore like all the chains.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 4:01Theo Von?

  And he's so jacked and he just sees a fucking warm wagon wheel. It's warm because it's been rolling all day.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Plus the stink of birth, of wagon birth.

• 4:11Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 4:12Speaker 01

  And then, yeah, you'd hear him come slithering out of the woods, down the hill. You're lucky if you were on top of a hill. Because if you're at the bottom, they just sled on down.

• 4:22Theo Von?

  Dude, you'd be standing at the bottom of the hill and an Italian would just roll right up against your leg.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 4:26Theo Von?

  They just, that's how it is. Gravity in Italians.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Dude, back then their stomachs were just like, like calloused underneath the hair. It was just from sliding down those hills, attacking the wagons. It's a thick, sheeny callus to help them slide.

• 4:40Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Terrifying times. People are ahistoric these days. And then, you know, if we don't remember history, we're fucked. Like, you've got to know what actually happened, what this country was founded on.

• 4:50Theo Von?

  And I want you to say that word again. People are ahistoric.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:52Theo Von?

  And what does that mean, Duncan?

• 4:53Speaker 01

  It means, and they, people don't give a fuck about history. They don't care. No one's looking back. Nobody, no, most people don't. And not just like with like US history, world history, but like musical lineages and stuff. People just don't really care.

• 5:12Theo Von?

  Reparations people are looking back.

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 5:14Theo Von?

  They've got a, that's the, that's the ultimate rear view mirror is people.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:19Theo Von?

  Like you, if you ride in a car with somebody who's like big on reparations, they're like seven rear view mirrors in their car. You notice that?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  That's a lot. Like, but you have to stop. Like with that kind of thinking, you do have to stop at a certain place. You can't, you have to like stop in a certain frame. You can't keep going back.

• 5:32Theo Von?

  Right.

• 5:33Speaker 01

  You have to stop there is where you, but come on, man. Wouldn't you like, if there was some way for you to get reparations, wouldn't that be amazing? Like people start, that's, that's an incredible income source, you know?

• 5:45Theo Von?

  If they can tap it, I think one of the biggest groups, um, or some of the biggest groups that probably have at least, uh, called out to the gods of reparations, probably in our time would probably be black or, I don't know if it's African Americans. I don't know if it's black people in general, but I think it would be some African Americans, people that came from Africa.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:05Theo Von?

  Into slavery or their ancestors did. And then Native Americans, like what about, that tab was never paid.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Listen, this is why we got to invent a time machine. Because once we get that fucking time machine, we could go back in time to the actual colonizers and slaveholders and take their fucking shit. That's true reparations because they're the ones who did it.

• 6:30Theo Von?

  Right.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? I mean, the idea of reparations is like we, I mean, I'm not trying to call you out.

• 6:36Theo Von?

  No.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Everybody knows you have slaves now. But, uh, I, I, I am not a slave owner. Come on. We all know what's going on in Nashville. Come on. I'm sorry. I don't mean to, you guys can cut this out. You guys can cut this out.

• 6:49Theo Von?

  No.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  But I, on the other hand, don't. I, I.

• 6:53Theo Von?

  Oh, you're the un-slave guy?

• 6:55Speaker 01

  It's not doing as good. I don't get the numbers you're getting. So, so you know, you do, you should pay reparations, but otherwise we gotta get a time machine, man.

• 7:05Theo Von?

  What will we do though? Here's the thing, I'm saying this and I'm gonna be honest with you. We get a time machine.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:09Theo Von?

  We go back, first of all, in time.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 7:12Theo Von?

  Right?

• 7:14Theo Von?

  And we get there, the colonizers, I just don't, how, what is our strategy gonna be when we get there?

• 7:21Speaker 01

  We've got guns. What do they have?

• 7:23Theo Von?

  They have guns. That's how they did it.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, but not, not like AR-15s. They've got like shitty muskets and stuff. It's gonna be very easy to colonize the colonizers.

• 7:31Theo Von?

  No, what if there is a metal detector when you get into the time machine?

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Disable it. Like, it's my time machine. You don't think you, what? You think that's just part of the build? Like-

• 7:40Theo Von?

  You think a time machine is gonna come without TSA, dude? You think that the government in Israel is gonna let us have a time machine without TSA?

• 7:48Speaker 01

  You're right. They ruin everything, man. They ruin everything. You're gonna have like off-market, underground time machines that are gonna spaghetti fire your ass when you travel through time. It's not gonna be safe.

• 8:01Theo Von?

  I will say this, bro. They will have like, there's no way you're getting a TSA-free time machine, dude. You're gonna have like some lady over there who's like, oh, you got a baby milk in there or something. They always like, they, the first, the thing I hate is the baby milk. Or if you're even a woman with full tits, they'll be like, yeah, what's in your tit? They'll be like, oh, what's in your tits? Is it baby milk?

• 8:22Speaker 01

  Dude, I feel so bad for old people, pregnant, and new parents going through TSA. Cause like, they get fucked up. They're aggressive with them.

• 8:33Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  They like make you disassemble the baby carriage.

• 8:36Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  They scan the baby. It's like, what the fuck?

• 8:39Theo Von?

  Yeah, they're like, you're gonna need to open his diaper up. And I'm like, open his diaper?

• 8:42Speaker 01

  What are you doing? What do you think's in there? It's crazy.

• 8:47Theo Von?

  Now I'm a fucking peeping time just because I'm second in line now? It's like, I'm getting drawn into crimes.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Oh, we're about to travel with the whole family, Theo, and like-

• 8:55Theo Von?

  Are you?

• 8:56Speaker 01

  And you, and we got a new baby. We got a five-month-old and you just, I just gotta prep because they do not treat you kindly. God help you if you're a breeder and trying to travel on the 4th of- Fucking July. You are my wife. I'm fine. You just have to stand on the other side and you just watch it happen. The pat down, the disassembly, the scrutinizing of the tits.

• 9:19Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the worst. The worst is if they look at your wife's tits like they wouldn't have any milk in them.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Right. Like, what do you think's in there? There's a baby right there. What do you think? She's got nitroglycerin in her tits?

• 9:31Theo Von?

  What do you think she's fucking?

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Why? Why are you doing this to us? The kids are screaming.

• 9:36Theo Von?

  What do you think? We're trying to get food in a gauze or something? Like, what do you think? What's happening?

• 9:40Speaker 01

  Bringing my dad's ashes too to scatter them. So it's like gonna be double. It's gonna be the most dramatic TSA of all time. Cause I just am so worried about like, what are they gonna do with my dad's ashes?

• 9:51Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Are they gonna search them? What's in there?

• 9:54Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  What's in my dad's ashes? I have no idea.

• 9:57Theo Von?

  Oh, sometimes it's a molar. I know. There has been a, look, what is that? What's the most common thing found in human remain in, uh, in dad's ashes?

• 10:08Theo Von?

  And Duncan.

• 10:11Theo Von?

  Good to see you, dude.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Good to see you, Theo.

• 10:14Theo Von?

  Thank you for just making.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  The most common thing found in your dad's ashes.

• 10:18Theo Von?

  This is actually interesting. Take it through this if you don't mind, Duncan.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Oh, I'd love to. Uh, calcium carbonate, of course, that's some bone stuff. Trace minerals such as sodium, potassium and magnesium. Trace metals, implants like surgical screws, pins or dental fillings after processing.

• 10:38Theo Von?

  Oh, that's pretty cool.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  Bourbon crystals. If you had a southern dad.

• 10:42Theo Von?

  Oh, I see. Yeah. Oh, just from like, uh, like salt buildup or something. He'd have bourbon crystals build up on his bones.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Crystallized bourbon whiskey.

• 10:49Theo Von?

  I could see that. A little bit of, uh, probably some racial jokes.

• 10:56Theo Von?

  A lot of dads would have like,

• 10:59Theo Von?

  you're just sifting through the sand of your father and like a,

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Just like.

• 11:03Theo Von?

  An N word flies out.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  It was thirty Polack jokes.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  You like, no one even understood why your dad was always making, you didn't, you didn't even know what a Polack was when you were a kid. But like, they were apparently really dumb based on your dad's shitty Polack jokes.

• 11:21Theo Von?

  Oh, man, dude. Duncan Trussell, thanks for being here today, dude.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  Happy to be here.

• 11:27Theo Von?

  And dude, I want to say also, congratulations, you and Kurt Metzger have a new podcast, The Mystery Boys.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  That's right, yeah.

• 11:33Theo Von?

  Dude, it feels like a producer Trevon, he was talking, was that a bug?

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Mosquitoes.

• 11:38Theo Von?

  Or a spy.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Could be a spy drone, could be a drone.

• 11:42Theo Von?

  Dude, if the drones get that small, we are.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  They are. They already are.

• 11:46Theo Von?

  Well, let's don't wait, if we start there, it's gonna, every podcast now starts there.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  By the way, whoever's surveying us with your mechanical mosquitoes, you're an idiot. It's a fucking podcast. You could just watch the podcast. You don't have to double film the podcast.

• 12:02Theo Von?

  Dude, we have, we've, we've had people on and then had their rooms searched afterwards to make sure that they didn't leave like a, a listening device or something like that.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you're getting that level of guests who are living in like, it's so crazy how like, the more powerful you get, the more you live in a surveillance state. Like, you know what I mean? Like the, the, Trump, he's the most surveilled person on the planet, right? Like, he lives in the most high security place of all time. He must got like, and it's not just like, Secret Service monitoring him.

• 12:33Theo Von?

  Right. It's people that he thinks are his friends that he, I bet he doesn't even know that. I bet he doesn't even care.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  I bet he does.

• 12:40Theo Von?

  You think he does?

• 12:40Speaker 01

  You gotta feel that. You've got remote viewers from like, various countries, trained psychic spies. You've got ghosts. You've got, you know, a variety.

• 12:51Theo Von?

  Eavesdropping ghosts.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Eavesdropping ghosts, malevolent entities, time travelers. You've got witches actively cursing you at every hour of the fucking day. Think of the way, that's why any president, look at them, look what happens to them. They melt down. They're crushed by just the sheer weight of occult energy being leveled at them by all variety of sorcerers, necromancers, garden variety witches, like hardcore mountain wizards. You just don't even know what's coming.

• 13:21Theo Von?

  Susays, REI counter employees.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Yes, evil eye on you. Just like, you've got the evil eye on you at all times. You just get all fucked up and you, like, look at Trump. He's got those splotches now. He's like, ugh, he's like falling asleep. Obama, look at Obama. He looked like a ring wraith when he came out.

• 13:40Theo Von?

  He was white by the time he got out.

• 13:42Speaker 01

  He's totally like just withered, all of them.

• 13:44Theo Von?

  Obama, look at this.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Look at 2009, hope, joy, 2016, you've blown up countless innocent families with drones. You know what I mean?

• 13:57Theo Von?

  Yeah, just doing Clinton's work, still doing Clinton's work.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Look at fucking Lincoln.

• 14:02Theo Von?

  I know.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  All of them, it does it to all of them. Look at that.

• 14:05Theo Von?

  Well, first of all, there were only two photos ever of Lincoln taken. So there's, all we have is a before and after of him, dude.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's true. That's true. And also people, like, he was probably 23 in both of those pictures.

• 14:19Theo Von?

  Dude, you know what's pretty wild? I was thinking about this the other day. There's not another famous person with the last name Lincoln.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Whoa. I don't know any Lincolns.

• 14:31Theo Von?

  Like, there's him, Abraham, was that his name? Or Abram?

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Abraham.

• 14:37Theo Von?

  Abraham Lincoln. And then Mary Todd Lincoln was his wife.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 14:42Theo Von?

  Who was kind of like, and then his son, Tad Lincoln, I think who died.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  No shit.

• 14:47Theo Von?

  At a young age. Um, what did Tad die of? But no other famous Lincolns, think of one.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  I don't know any.

• 14:53Theo Von?

  That's pretty unbelievable.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  I know, like, a lot of people whose first name is Lincoln. I don't know any famous. Oh, there you go. Edward Baker Lincoln, he died on February 1st at age three tuberculosis.

• 15:05Theo Von?

  These are the kids, these are his children.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  William Wallace Lincoln.

• 15:08Theo Von?

  Wow.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  Cool name, died at the age of 11, typhoid fever. Thomas Lincoln, known as Tad. His cause of death is tuberculosis, pneumonia, or heart failure.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 15:22Theo Von?

  But people, people do not understand, and we do not understand, that this was the president of the United States, and three of his kids.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:33Theo Von?

  Died by the age of 18 of tuberculosis.

• 15:39Theo Von?

  Whatever the other one was, I think, just, and one of them probably was gay and they killed him.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  That's always happened, that was one out of three kids.

• 15:46Theo Von?

  Yeah, and then they say, they say that they give it a bigger name.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:50Theo Von?

  Like pneumonia.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Heart failure.

• 15:52Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  Heart failure. Oh, we know what happened.

• 15:55Theo Von?

  But dude, isn't that the craziest way to describe gay? It's like, he should love a woman, but.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  He had heart failure, his heart was failing.

• 16:02Theo Von?

  But his heart failed and liked men.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  And he fell into the pigs. Fell into a pig pen and was devoured. Dude, I'll tell you.

• 16:10Theo Von?

  Really, it looks like he was like planning for a beautiful day. He had a picnic basket.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, yeah.

• 16:15Theo Von?

  He had a letter to, uh, Randall in it, you know?

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Dale Randall, I know that you're but a peasant. My father's president. But, you know, I'll tell you.

• 16:24Theo Von?

  That's why, think of how wild that is. You have three children.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Four.

• 16:28Theo Von?

  You have four fucking children, dude.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Four children.

• 16:30Theo Von?

  Yeah, you just had another child while we were finishing this sentence.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 16:33Theo Von?

  But just imagine that. Go on, anyway, what were you saying?

• 16:35Speaker 01

  No, you didn't finish your point. Imagine, like, when you have kids, you, you can no longer watch Dateline. I used to be able, when I was single, I could watch Dateline. Some murderer came in, killed a bunch of kids, exploded a house with kids in it, killed a mom, and the kids watched it. You know, it sucks. It's, it's sad, but whatever.

• 16:57Theo Von?

  Yeah, it's Dateline.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  When you have fucking kids, anything about a kid dying, any, it's like your DNA changes, for real, even dad's.

• 17:06Theo Von?

  Wow.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  So it hits so hard. Losing three of your children? I, I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine. You're not sleeping anymore. You're, you can't, you're just a walking corpse. You're, you're gone. Your heart is never gonna be better after that. So that might explain why Lincoln looked like shit before he got assassinated, no offense, but this is what it's like, you know? This is human existence. That's how, you know, having, becoming a breeder really teaches you.

• 17:36Theo Von?

  When you choose to have something, when you choose to create more. And then we're all, we're all, Vic, there's always been some form of,

• 17:45Theo Von?

  like, at that time, where everybody was a slave to the lack of knowledge, maybe.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:48Theo Von?

  Is that, is that a realistic thing?

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Oh, I think so. I think like back then, you get an infection, you're dead. They're sawing your arm off. I don't even think they had like, they had ether. They didn't have like the incredible anesthesia that we have right now, where they can dial in just the dose. They know the exact amount of time before you wake up. Back then, I think they were just like putting a rag on your face if you were lucky.

• 18:10Theo Von?

  Or somebody, sometimes would just whisper in your ear like this, you're not feeling anything, you're not feeling anything.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  You don't feel this, you don't feel this. You're dreaming, you're dreaming. They're just sawing your fucking arm. Arm off. That was what it was like back. Look.

• 18:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, you're dreaming, dude.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  This is actually great. You guys are good. 1850s average cause of death tuberculosis.

• 18:26Theo Von?

  And what was tuberculosis? Let me say real quick, the single biggest killer in many places, especially among adults and children, which is everyone. It's a weird thing to say. In one 1867 Kentucky sample, 18 of 100 deaths were from consumption. Similar patterns held in the 1850s. What is consumption? Can you give me some? Can you also be looking up what tuberculosis is?

• 18:44Speaker 01

  I think that's what they called it. Consumption, right? Like, that was the, that was the name for it. Consumption.

• 18:50Theo Von?

  But dude, imagine you get invited probably one weekend at school. You're a school kid, right? Consumption is an archaic historical term for tuberculosis, a highly contagious bacterial infection primarily attacking the lungs.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Oh, coughing up blood. Happened to Edgar Allan Poe's wife. She died of tuberculosis. Like, just everybody. You would have little. This is, I think, where the handkerchief in the pocket came from. It's like you wanted to politely cough up blood in front of people at dinner parties and stuff, so.

• 19:19Theo Von?

  Yeah, because if you were poor, you just coughed it into your hand or whatever. Got consumption.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  That was what it was like back then.

• 19:26Theo Von?

  But dude, imagine one weekend as a kid. This could be a real life of a child back in the day.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:32Theo Von?

  You go to a kid's party one weekend. Some kid is having his fifth birthday party, which at this point is probably one quarter of his life.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Right. He's about to go to work in the factories.

• 19:41Theo Von?

  Yeah, he'll be at war in two years.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Two years, he's gonna be fighting. Yeah, he's getting ready to go to work. So this is like almost working age.

• 19:49Theo Von?

  You go to his birthday, and the next weekend, you could conceivably go to a funeral of another, of another child or adult.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Every, I guarantee that like every Sunday you're going to a funeral back then. Like, a Sunday you're not going to a funeral is a good Sunday.

• 20:03Theo Von?

  Right.

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Just go to any, like, any old graveyard. Look at all those little graves. Dude, kids were dying left and right. It was a miracle for a kid to survive.

• 20:13Theo Von?

  Sometimes it'll be like Rick, and it was like he's 11 years or something.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Yellow fever. You know, where I come from in Georgia, the cemetery where my, my family's buried, it's just like filled with these.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Old graves and it's all yellow fever. It's all just weird old diseases.

• 20:35Theo Von?

  And some yellow fever, some people think it's because you people hate Asians so much that they died, that their heart snapped. That's not it.

• 20:42Speaker 01

  Well, you're right. Yeah.

• 20:43Theo Von?

  We're talking about the original one.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Actually, yellow fever is my favorite K-pop band. Like, they're, I'm just sorry. I'm so sorry. I do have.

• 20:50Theo Von?

  I'm sorry. It's hilarious, dude. They know what's going on, dude.

• 20:54Speaker 01

  Dude, have you ever heard of Peter Diamandis?

• 20:56Theo Von?

  No, I haven't.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  So he's like, it's interesting because there's like a group of people who are, who, who look at the world right now from a historic perspective.

• 21:07Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 21:08Speaker 01

  And they're like, shit is really good right now and it's gonna get better.

• 21:12Theo Von?

  That's what Rogan always says. That shit's the best it's ever been.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Well, and, and, and people hear that. If you, if you don't know this sort of thing, and some people don't, if you don't realize that like,

• 21:23Speaker 01

  if you have electricity, you're doing pretty good. Like if.

• 21:27Theo Von?

  You're a wizard, you're a modern day wizard.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Wizard. Yeah, exactly. Like you could just flip a switch and lights come on and you could take a shit and flush it and it goes bye-bye.

• 21:37Theo Von?

  And it goes to a poorer neighborhood?

• 21:39Speaker 01

  Well, that used to go out the window. You'd fucking, you'd shit in a chamber pot, throw it out the window where the land in, in, in puddles of like blood from people with consumption, horse shit and just.

• 21:54Theo Von?

  Or just some kids playing. And I bet he was honestly probably like, good luck. It's almost like, you know, like a butterfly lands on your shoulder or something now. It's like, good luck. Um, or if you see a clock, it says 11 11.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:04Theo Von?

  But like if you were taking a walk and you, and you just got hit by a bit of the king's shit, you know?

• 22:08Speaker 01

  Splattered by shit today. Things are looking up.

• 22:11Theo Von?

  Yeah. Oh, a bit of the king's shit on me.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. And.

• 22:15Theo Von?

  Oh, thick shit from the king.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Ah, nothing better than a king's thick shit.

• 22:20Theo Von?

  Cause no one else had thick shit back then?

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Only the kings.

• 22:24Theo Von?

  Who else would have a thick shit?

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Everyone's shit was watery, watery shit. But a king's shit.

• 22:30Theo Von?

  It was Memphis coffee, dude.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, Memphis coffee.

• 22:34Theo Von?

  But the king's shit, he was fucking serving plaster of Paris, brother.

• 22:38Speaker 01

  Powerful, charismatic, probably smelled good.

• 22:42Theo Von?

  Alluvial.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It was, you know, royal shit.

• 22:46Theo Von?

  Medieval kings ate a diet that was far more varied and depending on period and region, often less dominated by meat than the roasted turkey like stereotype. Roasted meats. Yeah, that seems like normal stuff. But um, but yeah, dude, if you, God. And I bet some people, and I bet there were some people who almost like they're down on their luck and they would just hang out. Outside of like a to- like a, cause the king's toilets were up like in the air. They were built like, you know, on the second floor, third floor of the castle. And just a hole would come out of the wall.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  That, well, back then you would, the, now. I happen to be an expert on sewage systems in castles.

• 23:25Theo Von?

  Oh, good. No, I want to know.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  I studied it all through school. The, you'll see here that, now that's nice, but some castles. You would shit down into a pit. And then the way that you would get lice. Off your clothes, cause everyone was covered in lice back then, is you would put your clothes out over an open. Toilet. And medieval toilet and all the ammonia from the shit would kill the lice. So you were wearing clothes that had been lice free.

• 23:59Theo Von?

  Right.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  But, you know, like.

• 24:01Theo Von?

  Shit scented.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  Smelled like a porta potty.

• 24:03Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  Smelled like a Coachella porta potty. And that was a clean shirt back then.

• 24:07Theo Von?

  Yeah, medieval toilets, commonly known as garter robes, were built over waste shafts or pits that discharged directly into moats. Uh, they featured a surprising dual purpose. Nobles used the ammonia heavy air from the toilet pits to store and delouse clothing.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  God.

• 24:20Theo Von?

  As the fumes were believed to kill clothes, lice and fleas. Dude, that's unbelievable. Like, God, you smell like shit, but God.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  No lice.

• 24:28Theo Von?

  No lice. Come on over.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  No lice. You get to pick.

• 24:31Theo Von?

  Yeah. Come on over and touch this puss.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  Come on over.

• 24:35Theo Von?

  Or touch this weener if you were gay.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Delouse my underwear.

• 24:39Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Lice free pussy back then.

• 24:43Theo Von?

  God.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  Can you imagine going, finally, you don't have lice crawling all over your face.

• 24:49Theo Von?

  Or your vagina, or your, or your, the end of your weener if you're a man. Dude, the end, the very end of your weener almost looks like a little bit of like a vagina. You notice that?

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Are you kidding? That's all I think about.

• 25:03Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  It does though.

• 25:06Theo Von?

  Oh, it does.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Mine is special.

• 25:08Theo Von?

  Well, yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  It's amazing. You could, you can, oh, it's another podcast.

• 25:12Theo Von?

  When I was a child, they had, I had a, I was born with a very small wiener hole. So I could pee like 15 feet.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Did it expand?

• 25:22Theo Von?

  I had to go get a surgery.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  You really did?

• 25:24Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  So you're, it was fused a little bit?

• 25:27Theo Von?

  Yeah, it was a little fused, dude. And I mean, I could piss, dude. I could wash a cat's eye from 15 feet away.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  So good. Did you ever wash a cat's eye?

• 25:35Theo Von?

  I mean, I could have.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Dude, you could have. That's, must have been painful, though.

• 25:39Theo Von?

  Oh, I'd surprise a fucking, and it's, nobody knew it was urine because it just came at such a, a rip.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  Fucking rip of fucking yellow piss.

• 25:49Theo Von?

  Oh, it was like, uh.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  Probably loud.

• 25:52Theo Von?

  Oh, and it had a Roger Clemens sort of, it was a.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  That's painful. It's like pissing on ecstasy.

• 25:57Theo Von?

  It hurt. Oh, oh, it started to burn me at a certain age. I didn't mind it. But once you get in that age where you want to piss fast, dude.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:04Theo Von?

  Cause we had this time in our town, everybody was pissing real fast.

• 26:10Theo Von?

  And I remember like, it's just when kids are like, how fucking fast can you piss? You little faggot or whatever.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:15Theo Von?

  And you're like, I'll piss fast.

• 26:16Speaker 01

  You gotta piss fast.

• 26:17Theo Von?

  And you're straining, but it hurts.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  It fucking hurts.

• 26:19Theo Von?

  But that's when I was, dude. Oh, I was wa, yeah. I would wash a bottle of whiskey that was sitting on a.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  It's a power washer.

• 26:25Theo Von?

  Yeah, it was.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  You could clean off graffiti with your piss.

• 26:28Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude, I could definitely, I could clean the rims on your car.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Fucking, that's, and there's money in that. There's money in that.

• 26:36Theo Von?

  Today's episode is in partnership with Manscaped, the men's grooming brand, trusted by over 13 million men worldwide. That's a lot of men, baby. We the most. Fellas, it's smooth sack summer. Yep, it is. It's officially in session. So if your grooming game's been a little wild lately, this is your sign to tighten it up downstairs and beyond, you know, everywhere, huh? That's why I've been using the Manscaped Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra in the new desert sand colorway. You know what I'm talking about.

• 27:17Theo Von?

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• 28:02Theo Von?

  know what was happening to it. And they'd be juggling it or something and just, I didn't know what to do. And I just, when it came to investing, I felt like I didn't know enough. You know, so many of us, we can only focus on where our money is today. Acorns is the financial wellness app that cares about where your money is going tomorrow. Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. It's easy. You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money in minutes, even if all you've got is spare change. Whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down, Acorns supports your big and small goals across every life stage. Sign up now and join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved

• 28:47Theo Von?

  and invested over $27 billion with Acorns. Plus Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment. Offer available at acorns.com/ Theo. That's A-C-O-R-N-S.com/ Theo to get your $20 bonus investment today. Terms and conditions apply. See acorns.com/terms for details. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier two compensation provided. Potential subject to various factors such as customers' accounts, age, investment settings. Does not include Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC, an SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com/ Theo.

• 29:26Theo Von?

  Um, but God, what are we talking about, dude?

• 29:29Speaker 01

  We're, you know, what we're talking about, I think.

• 29:31Theo Von?

  Oh, it's just how it's been bad.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  It's been bad for a long time.

• 29:35Theo Von?

  And in some ways, this may be the best that it's ever been. I do want to talk to that you guys do have, um, Mystery Boys podcast.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 29:41Theo Von?

  Because do you feel like, cause you and I have both had a series of podcasts over the years. Do you still have your own podcast?

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:47Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 29:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is the newest, this is my newest podcast with the brilliant Kurt Metzger, The Mystery Boys.

• 29:53Theo Von?

  Yeah, he's on my prayer list. I know that.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  He's awesome and he's just, man, his brain just absorbs esoteric information.

• 30:02Theo Von?

  Yes.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  He remembers like names of ancient grimoires that are hard to pronounce. His knowledge of occult history is amazing. It's like, it's just a brilliant dude.

• 30:14Theo Von?

  Oh, dude, his knowledge of Charzards from another realm is something we can't fathom. I also, one thing I love about Kurt is I love his voice. He has a great voice.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:26Theo Von?

  It's fun to listen to. It's this kind of futuristic, but, but ancient sort of hodgepodge of soundery, you know?

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Oh, and he's like connected to some of the most interesting people, the guests he's been getting. We've had somebody who was on, who, who claims to be in a secret space program. I think that's this week's episode. No, it's last, it's a two parter. But this dude claims that in the military, he was essentially inducted into this top secret program. Where, I mean, most people don't know this, but the United States has been engaged in a kind of galactic war. We're being run by reptilians, gray aliens are essentially like IT workers.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  People don't realize that this, one of the stories he told, and what's so interesting about his stories are the details. They take him into this office. They're about to introduce him to this program. He's passed an IQ test. Apparently you have to have a very high IQ to get into this program. Very high. And it's not a normal like written IQ test.

• 31:34Theo Von?

  Right.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  They have some futuristic thing that just can tell if you're a dumbass or not. And he passes this. They bring him into a office, a gray alien waddles out.

• 31:46Theo Von?

  No, from what, behind a curtain or a door?

• 31:48Speaker 01

  A door, like a little, I guess, a cat door or something. He just comes.

• 31:52Theo Von?

  An alien uses a door? That's a part I don't get.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  I wish I'd asked, cause he would have an answer. He would have a great answer for that. I, in my view, it's like a cat door, like maybe a mid-sized cat door.

• 32:03Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  He comes waddling out, long fingers, and he starts working on a Dell computer. He just, they use him as IT. They, he just starts unscrewing a Dell computer. I guess they put more memory in it or something.

• 32:17Theo Von?

  Huh.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  And they were looking to see how he would react to the fact that a gray alien was working on a fucking computer. And it's, the story is amazing. He gets in trouble.

• 32:29Theo Von?

  Bring it up. Can we show the episode? Just what it is?

• 32:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, he, uh, he, he got in trouble. So he got in trouble because the first time he met a reptilian, he poked the reptilian in the eye.

• 32:39Theo Von?

  No.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  And reptilians see humans as essentially just like below snails. Like we are look, we're just hideous foul animals.

• 32:48Theo Von?

  Really?

• 32:48Speaker 01

  One of these things in the eye means you are going to be tortured.

• 32:53Theo Von?

  When you poke it in the eye, did he say if it feels like an eye, like as if you poked one of us in the eye? Or is it almost just like putting your finger into like a gelatin or like a water, like a pool of water?

• 33:03Speaker 01

  You're gonna have to come, we're gonna have to have you on the show, cause that is the level of interviewing skills I don't have. Why didn't I ask? What does a reptilian's eyeball feel like? I didn't ask. It's a, I missed it.

• 33:16Theo Von?

  They obviously have, cause their eyes are just these fucking bird baths into another realm, man.

• 33:20Speaker 01

  Oh dude, they're evil. They're fucked up. The reptilians are really fucked up. They tortured, they took him.

• 33:25Theo Von?

  We have, did he, now, did he get tortured?

• 33:28Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 33:28Theo Von?

  Okay, hold on.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 33:30Theo Von?

  I, I do wanna hear, but I also have to laugh because it always makes me laugh, dude. Because here's the crazy thing. And I'm gonna get right back to you. We're going right back.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Please.

• 33:39Theo Von?

  Re- rept- aliens, they're fucking bullies.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so glad you're saying it out loud.

• 33:46Theo Von?

  And nobody ever says it, dude. All they do, they take somebody away.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:49Theo Von?

  They like, kind of, put their knuckle in their butt or something, or they're fucking like,

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:53Theo Von?

  you know, fuck them in the mouth, or they're just, they're dirty.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  Dude, I wouldn't be surprised if you were in the secret space program, based on what you're saying. It's almost a direct account

• 34:03Theo Von?

  Nah-uh.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  of how they torture you.

• 34:05Theo Von?

  What, did he say he knows what happened? Let me try to kill this fly, dude. Actually, maybe let's, let's let science have its way.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Let's see what goes for.

• 34:13Theo Von?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Let's see what ends up, let's see who it drains.

• 34:16Theo Von?

  At the end, it's gonna drain one of us. This is a new game show.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:19Theo Von?

  At the end, the fly, there's a fly that's flying around. Whoever it doesn't like, or whatever, or whoever it does like, really is the one whose blood it takes.

• 34:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Let's see, I think there's two that's a problem.

• 34:29Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah, there're probably a couple of guys. It's probably Ted Lincoln and his buddy.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  Come on. Take the blood. Yeah, they, they use your-

• 34:36Theo Von?

  Yeah, did, yeah, sorry. Did they say, so, did they say what happened? Did he say what happened? How did the

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 34:41Theo Von?

  the torture go?

• 34:42Speaker 01

  They, first of all, they didn't torture him on Earth. As it turns out, on the moon, there are these, like, government facilities where they are mining helium.

• 34:53Theo Von?

  Oh, we, so they did it at their place, or whatever?

• 34:55Speaker 01

  They took, no, the, the US military, because the US military's in control of the reptilians. They transported him to a moon prison, where-

• 35:03Theo Von?

  This guy you interviewed?

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. He was on a prison on the moon.

• 35:07Theo Von?

  And how'd he get to the, how'd he, how'd he get to the interview to send an Uber?

• 35:11Speaker 01

  What? I don't know how they get on to the moon. It's-

• 35:13Theo Von?

  No, how'd he get to the, your interview?

• 35:15Speaker 01

  Calling.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Called in from Florida.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  He called in from Florida, dude.

• 35:26Theo Von?

  Which is basically our version of, like, the, like, that's our version of, like, alienism these days.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  That's right.

• 35:34Theo Von?

  It's a call in from Florida.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  He called in from Florida. He's a, he's a very sweet guy, by the way, really good storyteller. And here's where it gets really weird. So, you know, they're torturing you up there on the moon. And, but also, as it turns out.

• 35:53Theo Von?

  Was he Mexican guy? Sorry to interrupt you. Was he Mexican guy?

• 35:56Speaker 01

  I don't know what his ethnicity. It was, it was a call in, so I didn't get to see him. Why do you ask?

• 36:00Theo Von?

  Because all, all, all Mexican dudes want to go to, want to go to space, you know? They don't act like it. None of them act like it. But I got like a couple of close, uh, Mexican friends. They all want to go to space.

• 36:10Speaker 01

  Well, don't you want to go to space?

• 36:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, kind of. Not that much anymore. Like, I don't know. Like, I, I, if I want to, like, if I'm going, I'm going to leave. I'm not going to go out there and come back. I'm not going to be some little bitch that is like, I'll be back or whatever.

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Bezos, you're not going to go up in a little fucking dick rocket and float around up there. I don't even think Bezos went up there, did he? I think, did he go up there?

• 36:29Theo Von?

  He just sent up like five or six people that I think that I heard that he wants to smash or whatever.

• 36:34Speaker 01

  Dude, of course.

• 36:34Theo Von?

  Brought him back down. It was like, it was like some one of his little flying smash buckets.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's been, he, he flew on a suborbital, suborbital. I don't know if that counts, man.

• 36:44Theo Von?

  Fuck no, dude.

• 36:45Speaker 01

  The New Shepard rocket. I want to go out of orbit. I want to go toward, like somewhere in between Earth and the moon.

• 36:51Theo Von?

  Dude, you can hit suborbital just taking the direct flight up to Calgary, dude.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  Oh, wait, he did do it. 10 minute flight across the car, the Karman line, the recognized boundary of space and reaching Apogee. But, you know, Bezos sending a bunch of hotties up in his rocket is the modern day equivalent of like driving ladies around in your Corvette. It's like what oligarchs do to get laid. It's just like, I'm going to send you up to space.

• 37:12Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  But yeah, I, you know.

• 37:14Theo Von?

  That's true. So the guy who's been to space and was molested in a moon prison, she gets Ubered over to you. Oh, he's a call in.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  He was molested in a moon, but you're right. This is, but how, see.

• 37:24Theo Von?

  And I'm sorry, it's not funny.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Let me know. Well, first of all, whether or not it's funny or not, I need to point out something, Theo. I did not say he got molested in the moon prison. You knew it. Why? Why do you know that? Were you in the gate program?

• 37:40Theo Von?

  Yes.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  Dude, guys, oh my God, you weren't gifted and talented.

• 37:48Theo Von?

  Yes.

• 37:48Speaker 01

  You know what that was?

• 37:49Theo Von?

  Yeah, it was easy to get into in our town.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Okay, but do you know what it was?

• 37:53Theo Von?

  Yes. Oh, I've, I've heard there's that there's possibilities that they were, uh, it was like a CIA, like a psyop.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Not a possibility, like that is, you can look that up, that like.

• 38:03Theo Von?

  No way, you serious?

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Dude, you can look it up. It was so like, the, the idea was, it kind of makes sense, like if you're running a country, who are the smart kids, right? You want to find out like this, the super smart kids, you create a program.

• 38:17Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  That separates those kids from the rabble and then via that, in that program, you can start assessing them to see whether or not they'd be good to work in intelligence, CIA, covert programs, or just like any like federal job. And then you start grooming those kids. You start, and, and where it gets like into the deep conspiracy stuff is you, they were looking for kids who had like, you know, telepathic ability.

• 38:46Theo Von?

  Oh, I thought nice legs or something you were gonna say.

• 38:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:48Theo Von?

  So it wasn't like that.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  That too.

• 38:49Theo Von?

  It wasn't like that. It wasn't like a pedophilic thing. So, so go ahead. They were looking for kids that had what?

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, the secret, look, uh, because Gate and Gateway, uh, public school operated by local school districts, blah, blah, blah, to provide military intelligence, a secret military unit focused on psychic espionage and remote viewing, often called the Stargate project.

• 39:09Theo Von?

  But what's that? That's not our thing.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 39:12Theo Von?

  We were in military intelligence, dude. We weren't doing shit. We were on my side of the mountain.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Well, right. That's, that's what you remember. But do you remember the, did you get the weird headphone test?

• 39:20Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  What the fuck was that? Do you remember the weird shit they made you drink?

• 39:24Theo Von?

  Kind of is true, dude. They had this fucking headphone test we would take like once every quarter. Yeah, what the fuck was that?

• 39:30Speaker 01

  What was that? What does that have to do with being gifted and talented? Testing your hearing? What is that? Why'd they put that on us? Why'd they make us drink that weird pink shit? What were they doing to us? Why do, most people don't remember it as well as you do. Most people, it's a foggy, weird memory. The whole thing was some kind of bizarre federal program.

• 39:51Theo Von?

  You think that that's true?

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Look, I, look, there's a, now, I mean, this is one of the many like conspiracy theories that is not so much a conspiracy theory anymore, that you could look it up, you could see, some of it is obviously speculation, some of it's real. So we don't know, but.

• 40:08Theo Von?

  Yeah, what were they doing?

• 40:09Speaker 01

  They wanted to find. Kids who would be great assassins.

• 40:13Theo Von?

  Fuck dude, and none of our kids made it then.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  I didn't make it. Did you make it through? Did they kick you out of the gate program?

• 40:18Theo Von?

  No, I stayed in and then it got a little too homeworky for me at one point.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot. It was a lot.

• 40:26Theo Von?

  I wasn't a company man. That's what it was. At a certain point, I think I wasn't a company man. So funny. I have never thought about this in years, dude. But yeah, we had to go off in this special building and learn out there or whatever.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, they separate you. They separate you and it was very strange. I think I made it like two weeks before they kicked me out. But yeah, I just think they were like, the test didn't work. He's a fucking idiot. Like, I don't, I don't think it had anything to do with like compliance or not.

• 40:51Theo Von?

  You seem like they would have been, you would have been their target.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  Well, I didn't make it. I didn't make it in. I didn't get to be in the secret space program. And maybe that's a good thing. But yeah, according to this guy, there's brothels on the moon. It'll change the way you look at the moon. There's brothels. The miners on the moon are geniuses. Like.

• 41:08Theo Von?

  Who brought the fucking miners up there? Fucking, it's like a, is it Lutnik in them or whatever?

• 41:13Speaker 01

  Dude, I don't know. I, you know, you don't want to get lost in the weeds when a dude is telling you about fucking on the moon.

• 41:19Theo Von?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  Cause he was banging on the moon.

• 41:21Theo Von?

  You're lying.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  Dude, they have.

• 41:23Theo Von?

  He said he was fucking on the moon?

• 41:24Speaker 01

  They was fucking on the moon. Like.

• 41:27Theo Von?

  Oh my gosh.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  They have brothels. They, for the like, for in between getting tortured, you get to go to the moon brothels.

• 41:35Theo Von?

  Okay, hold on.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  It's the best. It's the best.

• 41:40Theo Von?

  What? Well, hold on a second, dude.

• 41:43Speaker 01

  You guys just listen to the episode. Like, I'm not even doing it justice because there's so much more detail. There's kind of a love story. He kind of like fell in love with a nurse. Like, it's kind of romantic. And you know, he talks about all these densities, like the way they shift you to get to the moon is like, like, like the reptilians are on the fourth density. We're on the third density. Aliens function like at a different vibrational frequency. They have devices that shift your frequency and can reverse age you. So.

• 42:14Theo Von?

  I could see that being possible, some of it.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  I, you just, who knows?

• 42:18Theo Von?

  Well, cause you know what? You start to see that frequency stuff. You seen that frequency? When people put the sand on certain things in frequency.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Simmatics.

• 42:24Theo Von?

  It's called simmatics?

• 42:24Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 42:25Theo Von?

  Yes. Yeah. Bring up some simmatics if you can, just so we can see what we're talking about.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  I love simmatics.

• 42:29Theo Von?

  If you haven't seen this, it's basically they put sand and correct me if I'm wrong, Duncan, they put sand on a paint, on like a flat plane.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:35Theo Von?

  And then they play music through it.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 42:37Theo Von?

  And the sand forms certain like, kind of like snowflakes or text, like figures or textures or designs.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  That's right. Predictable geometries from various frequencies. They, it produces these like interesting

• 42:51Speaker 01

  patterns that sometimes kind of look like crop circles and that's ketamine on that plate.

• 42:57Theo Von?

  Is it really?

• 42:58Speaker 01

  It works way better with ket. I would always do this before I snorted ketamine and put it on a simmatic plate, set it to, yep, forty seven.

• 43:05Theo Von?

  Dude, what if you crunched up a bunch of Fritos on there?

• 43:08Speaker 01

  It would work.

• 43:09Theo Von?

  It'd probably be like, you're fat.

• 43:13Theo Von?

  You'll die young.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  Turns into a scale.

• 43:15Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, it.

• 43:16Theo Von?

  But this is real stuff. So this is forward to.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:19Theo Von?

  So these are the hertz, different hertz they put through. And if you've never seen this, it's unbelievable that. So this makes me think that we could, just like this, some way that if you put a different frequency through us, you could then transfer us from one place to another because you could shape us in a different way to be able to be transported.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Exactly. And you know, what is like, when I think of this shit, I just think of like, oh, right? Like when people get into conspiracy theories and stuff, inevitably there's like this hierarchy where there's someone controlling someone else who's controlling someone else. And it's like, it's, it's reptiles all the way down. Like where does it stop? Like who's like ultimately in control? But I think of simmatics where it's like, well, maybe, maybe like the way things keep repeating throughout history in sort of the same way, because there's these various frequencies that exist on planet earth. There's frequencies that create power dynamics, that create authoritarianism, tyranny, fascism, like cruelty,

• 44:23Speaker 01

  war, and you can tune into that frequency. And the more you tune into that frequency, the more you like, your, your, your shape change.

• 44:30Theo Von?

  Why would that not be, dude, that's such a, that's cymatics, the study of visible sound and vibration, demonstrating how acoustic frequencies organize physical matter in a geometric pattern. Because the human body is largely water, sound waves travel rapidly through us, making it possible to use frequency and vibration for various wellness, therapeutic and clinical applications.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:50Theo Von?

  Dude, this is one of the most unbelievable things that I've really, I think that I've thought about in a while because if you see that, do that to that sand, right?

• 44:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:58Theo Von?

  And if you know, yeah, what if you put a frequency on, it's like, I'm gonna feel this way, or this is the frequency that's tuned into this, almost like a new radio station for yourself. Like instead of tuning into like, no frequency, where I'm just at the whims of the fucking, at the byproduct and like, exhaust of corporate, the corporate universe we live in. I'm just wandering through that frequency all day. What if I spent time tapping into a frequency that actually brought me some peace, or frequency that brought like, it made me exude like love or possibility, or um, hope, or power, or protection?

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, that, well, I mean, this is a choice, you know, you're sitting on the toilet, taking a shit, looking at whatever the algorithm's feeding you, you'll notice the

• 45:44Theo Von?

  And I'll throw the shit out the window, hopefully it hits someone, so it

• 45:47Speaker 01

  I, well, you can aim.

• 45:48Theo Von?

  Right, but also so it hits someone and boosts their spirits.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  I know, but what I'm saying is you don't have to just randomly throw it, you can aim, you can slingshot it.

• 45:55Theo Von?

  Uh, but go on, so you're sitting on the toilet going?

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Well, I'm, but you're, ever, all of us are like staring into these hit no rectangles. The algorithm, at least my algorithm, oh my God, it's fucked up, it's just showing me like horrible things, or people in the midst of psychotic episodes, or people in the forest drinking their period blood, or, you know, just, it's wild chaos and

• 46:18Theo Von?

  It's witchcraft, new beverages.

• 46:21Theo Von?

  Yeah, but it's crazy, dude. You'll go from like, it is crazy, dude. They're definitely scrambling our brains and they're, we're starting to like, with the things you see, because you'll see like, uh, genocidal killings of children, right? Children looking, kid looking for his mother for 70 days.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 46:39Theo Von?

  Finally finds landmine in Palestine, you know? Like a landmine wearing his mother's dress and they killed the child or whatever.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Horrible.

• 46:46Theo Von?

  You'll see that, but then immediately it's like 40% off these ASICS, you know? And you're like,

• 46:51Speaker 01

  That's right. That's right.

• 46:53Theo Von?

  But it starts to confuse your brain because your brain, it takes the depth of one that's so deep and one that means nothing really at all.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  You got it.

• 47:01Theo Von?

  And then it puts them kind of all in the same plane.

• 47:03Speaker 01

  You're, you better watch out because you just articulated something that I've learned from Metzger, which is really like, it's, it's for me, like it's, believe it or not, I'm kind of skeptical about stuff. But this one, like it's hard for me to dispute. And so he, he says that assassinations, public assassinations create trauma, cultural trauma. Charlie Kirk, did you notice the Charlie Kirk assassination? Everyone saw it.

• 47:31Theo Von?

  Yes.

• 47:32Speaker 01

  Before they shut it down. All of us had to watch that shit happen, right? So this produces trauma. The trauma response opens you up to conditioning. It's the same shit kidnappers use. It's the same shit people who torture you use. They freak you the fuck out so that you kind of disassociate. You don't want to be there. You, you, you, you go into a kind of sad, foggy place. And then in that place, they show you the ASICS commercial. In that place, they give you some propaganda. In that place, they give you a solution. So this will never happen again. This is a known technique for mind controlling people. So anytime there's assassinations, it's not just like power dynamic shift.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  It's cultural dynamic shift because they inject that moment with however they want to shift the tide.

• 48:19Theo Von?

  Right.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  So,

• 48:22Speaker 01

  so Instagram is, or any social media is kind of doing this, but like low level.

• 48:28Theo Von?

  Right.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  So you look, you know, suddenly you're,

• 48:30Theo Von?

  Microdosing it.

• 48:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. Opening, like freaking you out. And then what do you know? And then where it gets really creepy is the commercial you're getting. Isn't just from the algorithm, it's because your phone heard you talking about wanting to like, what's the best fishing rod to catch catfish?

• 48:47Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  And then so right after you watch a furry eat a hot dog with a human turd in it.

• 48:54Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  And you're like, what, what's happened in the world? Like a, an ad for like fishing rods comes up. You're like, oh, cool. I should get that fishing rod.

• 49:02Theo Von?

  And dude, speaking of hot dogs, dude, foot long hot dogs, that should count as white people eating foot long hot dogs should count as reparations, dude.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, disaster.

• 49:13Theo Von?

  I'm just saying like.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Disaster.

• 49:14Theo Von?

  At a baseball game, whatever, having to eat them in public, dude, it's so fucking scary.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  It's crazy that that's, that's accepted, that that's not studied.

• 49:24Theo Von?

  Yeah. And that's the kind of thing that they're getting us to do. It's like these little, they're, and they're sitting in a fucking like globe, like they're sitting in a snow globe on the moon at a, you know, outside of a brothel on the moon that they own. You know, probably just like, uh, descaling their skin with their like reptilian brush.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  You got it.

• 49:42Theo Von?

  And then they're watching us eat, like, just like streaming, like countless hours of us eating foot long, uh, hot dogs, you know, and like.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 49:52Theo Von?

  And then they say, then they hit you with the reparations thing, you know? Like, will you sign for reparations? You know, it's like.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, whatever it is, it's like, you know, it's, but the, the reality of it is you're, you know, a vampire only goes where they're invited. That's a vampire rule for some reason, never understood it, but a vampire only goes. So if vampire comes to your door, they'll always ask like, can I come in? And if you say no, they won't come in. I don't get it, but that's vampire mythology. So your phone is the fucking vampire and you're inviting it in every time you stare at it. You're saying, please contaminate me with a, a combination state propaganda, propaganda from other countries, corporate propaganda and like just weird shit. Like you're invite, we're all inviting this in. You, all you gotta do is stop.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Which I can't.

• 50:44Theo Von?

  It's hard.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  It's hard. It's almost impossible.

• 50:46Theo Von?

  You can do, I think there's ways to do better. The ways that I've found that helped me are one, some meditation helps. I do meditation every day now. It's not a ton, 10 minutes, but it helps. Some days I'll get in two sessions. But it's not a ton, but it gives me a little bit more space sometimes. Like, ah, I don't need that. It'd be times like, let me look at my phone right now. I don't need that. And then the other thing I think is different types of plant medicine can help you, can help give a little bit that more to connect you back to nature. Those are the two that I know.

• 51:14Speaker 01

  Well.

• 51:14Theo Von?

  But yeah, it's too much, man.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  I think 10 minutes of meditation a day is actually pretty admirable, man. A lot of people can't do that. That's, you shouldn't beat yourself up about that. I mean, like, how long were you told to meditate?

• 51:26Theo Von?

  I don't know. I just feel like the good people do it for such a long time.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  20 minutes, maybe?

• 51:30Theo Von?

  Like, yeah, that like 20 minutes seems good. Um, but they did have those monks. Who were those? Don't monks meditate?

• 51:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, man.

• 51:37Theo Von?

  Yeah. Well, dude, but then they found those monks with meth or whatever. Can you look that up?

• 51:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 51:42Theo Von?

  Those meth monks?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Meth monks. Oh, yeah. There were, were they smuggling dope? No.

• 51:46Theo Von?

  What was it?

• 51:47Speaker 01

  A third of monks at a temple in Thailand.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  That's gotta be hard to meditate.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  A third of the Buddhist monks at a temple in northern Thailand have tested positive for meth. Six out of 18 monks at Wat Phra M in Phu Quan province were disrobed after failing surprise drug tests during a police raid on Monday. Officers also found meth pills, a homemade gun and bullets hidden in the temple.

• 52:11Theo Von?

  A gun?

• 52:11Speaker 02

  The six monks were kicked out of the monk hall.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 52:14Theo Von?

  A gun? Dude, a gun is the total opposite of being a monk.

• 52:17Speaker 01

  That is a crazy temple and that is, I just, do you think meth would help you meditate?

• 52:24Theo Von?

  A meth would help you meditate? No, you would be like, dude, you would be doing all, all the prayers like as fast as you could. It'd be like, Our Father, who art in heaven, hallelujah, amen.

• 52:38Speaker 01

  I don't think those monks are doing the Lord's Prayer.

• 52:40Theo Von?

  But that's what they're doing. I think they're probably in a crazy contest online to do the Lord's Prayer as fast as they can.

• 52:51Speaker 01

  That's.

• 52:51Theo Von?

  11 seconds.

• 52:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:54Theo Von?

  Bro, new record. Fuck you, dude. That's what they're doing. That's how, but dude, that's how distracted we've gotten. Monks are doing meth and they're having contests to read the Lord's Prayer as fast as they can.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Probably, I mean.

• 53:07Theo Von?

  And they had a gun. The guy had a gun.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  You're paranoid. You're fucking paranoid. You're on meth. It's the next step. You get a gun.

• 53:16Theo Von?

  Dude, maybe you have a copy of the chanteram under your pillow. Maybe. That's the most risque thing you're supposed to have as a monk.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude, that's wild. That's just, it just was, I guess that's what's happening right now, man. People are, people are fucking snorting meth in temples. They disrobed them.

• 53:33Theo Von?

  I know.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Which is wild.

• 53:35Theo Von?

  But I bet you're hot. If you're all methed out, I bet you want your robe off.

• 53:38Speaker 01

  You're done. You're not really a monk.

• 53:40Theo Von?

  Yeah, dude. My buddy was a monk for like almost, I think almost six months.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  What kind of monk?

• 53:45Theo Von?

  Um, I'm not sure. It was in Oregon.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  What color were his robes?

• 53:50Theo Von?

  I think his robes is just orange, kinda.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  Probably a Buddhist monk.

• 53:53Theo Von?

  Yeah. Yeah, Buddhist monk. And he said that they would sit around and, this is kinda crazy, but he said sometimes they would sit around and draw hair on each other. Cause they all had their head shaved. And they would sit around for fun and draw, and draw hair on each other. And it was kinda like the key, like kinda the low key can like, you know, or whatever, like kind of a sweet thing that I heard, you know?

• 54:12Speaker 01

  Weird. I don't know, man. I don't want it. That creeps me out.

• 54:16Theo Von?

  Bro, the other guys are doing methamphetamine.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  I don't know what is worse.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  They were probably drawing hair on each other, too.

• 54:31Theo Von?

  There should be a contest to see how fast can someone say the Lord's Prayer, dude.

• 54:35Speaker 01

  You wanna do a, you wanna do a race?

• 54:37Theo Von?

  You think you could do it? Do you know it?

• 54:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know it.

• 54:39Theo Von?

  Okay, then let's try. You go first, alright? Zach, will you time us?

• 54:48Speaker 01

  So, you gonna tell me when to start or should I just?

• 54:49Theo Von?

  Yeah, how does it work? Uh, I'm gonna count you down. Ready? Three, two, one.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  Our Father, art in heaven, and Hallowed be thy name. The kingdom come, and they will be done on earth as in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, and forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not in temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen.

• 55:06Theo Von?

  That was good.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  But I kinda slurred.

• 55:08Theo Von?

  Nine point eight seven. Under ten's great, dude, especially this time of year. Alright, um.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  You mean the summer heat?

• 55:15Theo Von?

  Let me think. Uh, alright. Do me. Three, two, one. Our Father, art in heaven, and Hallowed be thy name. The kingdom come, and they will be done on earth as in heaven. And give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, and forgive those who trespass against us.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  Another chance. Give him another chance. He stumbled. It's okay.

• 55:30Theo Von?

  I missed some words. Give us a, uh.

• 55:33Speaker 01

  Give us this day our daily bread.

• 55:34Theo Von?

  And forgive us our trespasses.

• 55:35Speaker 01

  As we forgive those who trespass against us.

• 55:37Theo Von?

  Let me try one more time.

• 55:40Theo Von?

  One. What did it start again? Sorry.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  Our Father.

• 55:44Theo Von?

  Okay, our Father, it's God.

• 55:48Theo Von?

  Okay, because we only had a step that go on. Three, two, one. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. When the kingdom come, then we'll be in heaven and give us the daily bread and forgive and give it forgive us this daily bread and forgive those who trespass against us. No.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  That's the devil getting in you there, making you stutter.

• 56:06Theo Von?

  Bro.

• 56:07Speaker 01

  That's the mosquitoes. That's the Texas devil flies got your tongue.

• 56:11Theo Von?

  That's a tongue tuberculosis.

• 56:13Speaker 01

  Yes, reggae consumption, spiritual consumption. You gotta let the Holy Spirit flow through you, Theo.

• 56:18Theo Von?

  Hey, pretty lady, won't you give her a sign? I'd give anything if it came out of my mouth.

• 56:21Speaker 01

  Praise God.

• 56:23Theo Von?

  Praise God.

• 56:25Theo Von?

  You know that Mountain Dew. You know it. It makes me think about summertime. That hot part of the calendar. You know how it works. You know when the calendar just gets hot. It gets so hot. Sometimes I'd, I'd call the government. I'll say to turn, can you turn it down? We can't handle it. It would get so hot. And then you'd have to open up the windows and but then the hot would come in, you know? And then when they get so hot inside, you have to open up the doors and and and the hot would go out and in and out. It was just a lot of hot. Thankfully, I had me some Mountain Dew. Just a refreshing, phew.

• 57:11Theo Von?

  It was like the heavens cut the faucet down and I could just enjoy myself. Just, just doing, just doing myself with that Mountain Dew. I liked it. If I had me a can or two of Mountain Dew, I'd go out, I'd pet every dog in town. That's how I, I just became like that neighborly American, you know? That's how I became. I'd be shaking the hands of local raccoons and politicians and all of them, you know? I'd watch this, I'd watch the wind go by, maybe whistle at it, let it know I had a way of making my own little breeze right there. Something about that summertime and.

• 57:58Theo Von?

  And just having a little bit of Mountain Dew in ya. Maybe you would just wanna get out there and just kiss a bald eagle. You know, and sometimes you'd settle for your grandmother or whatever, you know, a little kiss on the cheek, whatever, you know? Pop Pop didn't mind. What I'm saying is this. Mountain Dew is just. It's an alternative to the heat, but it's also part of.

• 58:25Theo Von?

  It's part of summer. But dude, you win, first of all, congratulations.

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 58:31Theo Von?

  Nine point eight seconds. That was really good.

• 58:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I actually, I can't believe, I haven't, you know, that's wild.

• 58:36Theo Von?

  For Our Father in under 10 seconds, that's, I think it's good. And I would love to see other people, if they want to, challenge Junkin on that.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  They will crush me. There's gonna be critiques, dude. There's different ways to say it, depending on what denomination you are. I think that was what I learned as an Episcopalian, but I think there's. My wife's Catholic. I think they say, eh, parts of it are different, but. I don't know if that's gonna add or subtract seconds.

• 58:57Theo Von?

  Dude, my girl Catholic, but that (BEEP) Baptist, you feel me? Let's go.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I hear ya.

• 59:04Theo Von?

  I'm just making up. I don't have a girl, but if I did.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  You don't have a girl?

• 59:07Theo Von?

  No, but she'd be cute if I did.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Wow, it must be tough to find a girlfriend for you, huh? Just a handsome dude with a super successful podcast.

• 59:14Theo Von?

  One day I'm gonna get one. I mean, it'll happen.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  Famous comedian?

• 59:17Theo Von?

  I think, you know what? There is like an age where I think it gets a little bit weird and then.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 59:23Theo Von?

  Maybe I'm just, you know what? I think some of the stories I tell in my head, I gotta change a little bit.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  Yes. Dude, there's this.

• 59:28Theo Von?

  And you know what's funny? I never said that. I've never said that before.

• 59:31Speaker 01

  You've never said that? Come on. There's a book.

• 59:34Theo Von?

  Not really. No, but the ones I'm telling myself, because I don't even realize they're being told. They've just been written on this wall, like these old, like. This is the way it is or whatever. It's like, dude, I'm gonna find somebody great. Of course it takes time. Everything in my life is taking time and.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:48Theo Von?

  Um, I don't wanna get somebody that's just like, um, you know, like I wanna have some fun, but at the same time, like, yeah, I want, I want somebody that's gonna be a, as perfect a fit as I can get.

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Dude, if, there's this book. And it sounds like bullshit. And I actually got the book because I was watching that documentary on NXIVM. You know NXIVM cult Keith Raniere? You know about that?

• 1:00:11Theo Von?

  Yeah, we had a guy on here from NXIVM, didn't we? Oh no, we had a guy who got bit by a dog at a NXIVM event.

• 1:00:17Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:00:18Theo Von?

  I'm not even joking. Who was that guy?

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  That sucks.

• 1:00:21Theo Von?

  He was fine.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  He was like at a cult event and a dog bit him.

• 1:00:24Theo Von?

  And he got bit by a dog, but that's how he got involved with the cult.

• 1:00:27Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 1:00:28Theo Von?

  Oh, that was at, oh no, Michael Rosenbaum, no, not him.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  That's, yeah.

• 1:00:30Theo Von?

  Oh, he was talking about Alison Max Sex Cult.

• 1:00:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:32Theo Von?

  There was another guy who'd been cured of, oh, he got cured by, of, um.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  OCD.

• 1:00:39Theo Von?

  Yeah, cured.

• 1:00:40Speaker 01

  Or not, um.

• 1:00:41Theo Von?

  Cured by Novixim, yeah, cured by Novixim.

• 1:00:45Theo Von?

  Mark Elliott.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:47Theo Von?

  Bro, look at me right there, I was young, it's AI.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  You look younger now.

• 1:00:54Theo Von?

  Well, I'm older now, but also, not if, if, I'm definitely older if I keep telling myself that, I'm a fucking boss, I'm a fucking nine-year-old, you little.

• 1:01:04Theo Von?

  Mark Elliott, I'm former motivational speaker and loyal follower of Keith Raniere and his organization of XM, a purported self-improvement company. I believe he got bit by a dog, I could be wrong, but I thought the dog, something happened, he got cured, he was diagnosed with Hirschsprung's disease.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  A rare intestinal disease at birth.

• 1:01:23Theo Von?

  Ali was returning home from a camp via Greyhound bus when he repeatedly shouted an anti-black racial slur at black passengers. That's called riding Greyhound, first of all. Uh, and I think some of that comes with the price of your ticket, I believe, also, okay? I rode G-Hound for a long time, shout out Hound. Uh, oh, cause he had Tourette's though, that's why. Did he ever cure it, did they say?

• 1:01:45Speaker 01

  He, he claims they cured it.

• 1:01:47Theo Von?

  They cured it.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  It's in the documentary, like, it shows people being, like, um.

• 1:01:52Theo Von?

  It did not cure my Tourette's in any way.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:01:55Theo Von?

  No, well, then why did we have him on the podcast? He said he did.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  In the documentary that I saw, it was, well, I mean, it was claiming that they cured it.

• 1:02:02Theo Von?

  Oh, well, so maybe it says it didn't, it didn't cure his Tourette's, but I thought, I can't remember exactly what happened in the episode, it was just like, it was like seven years ago.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  On, in the documentary I saw, it was, you know, some people, it seemed like it was helping, but. I heard about this book on this documentary. I was fascinated by this Rainier guy because it's like, you see him and he doesn't really seem like somebody who would successfully start a sex cult.

• 1:02:29Theo Von?

  Bringing him up.

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? No judgment or anything, but it wouldn't be like the first person I would guess. You look at like, put, put, pull up a picture of like young Charles Manson.

• 1:02:38Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  And Keith Rainier. Manson, you look at and you're like, okay, there he is.

• 1:02:43Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  This dude was getting ladies to brand his name into their fucking bodies.

• 1:02:50Theo Von?

  No way.

• 1:02:51Speaker 01

  Yes. Yes. Now, now you look at him and you wouldn't guess that, but pull up like a picture of Manson.

• 1:02:56Theo Von?

  That's the Montana show.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  Young Manson.

• 1:02:58Theo Von?

  Ring Young Manson.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Or not that young, but you know, that Manson. I could see, you look at him, you're like, yeah, I could, I could see you starting some kind of sex cult. I could see your members cutting swastikas into their foreheads, but this dude looks like, like somebody your mom dates before she marries your stepdad.

• 1:03:15Theo Von?

  But this dude does look like he has a dark side to him, dude.

• 1:03:18Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:18Theo Von?

  This is just all based off of one photo, but that guy looks like, yeah.

• 1:03:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:22Theo Von?

  He dates your mom. You think he's nice. He comes in the house and says cool stuff.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:25Theo Von?

  But he doesn't come through with kind of his promises. And then you see him yelling at your mom outside of the apartment window.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, man. Yeah.

• 1:03:32Theo Von?

  That's that fucking dude.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  That's what it is.

• 1:03:34Theo Von?

  Keith Rainier. Could we get him on here?

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  He's in jail.

• 1:03:37Theo Von?

  He is?

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Maybe you could call him from jail.

• 1:03:40Theo Von?

  Dude, jail, that's the most sex trafficking you could ever do. It's bumper to bumper in there, dude.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  I know. He, and this guy, he like, it's, it's, the documentary is incredible. And you know, I, obviously like it's horrible. Like doing this shit's horrible, but when you, when you just watch it in terms of like, whoa, like the ambition, like, oh my God, how'd you pull that off? And so they mentioned this book, Psycho-Cybernetics, which sounds like horseshit.

• 1:04:06Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:07Speaker 01

  The name sounds stupid, but I, I got this book and started listening to it. And it's this plastic surgeon wrote the book and he noticed that you would give plastic surgery to people and their personalities would change, fix their nose. And they would change, turn into these different people. And so his premise is that there's sort of an internal visual image of yourself inside of you. And so,

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  So basically, like, if you look at what you think about throughout the day, and a lot of people worry, ruminate, they're constantly bringing up things they're afraid of in the future, or shit they wish they didn't do in the past.

• 1:04:51Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  And this is what's creating the you. It's you're habitually running through a rolodex of bad memories and internal fears and stuff. And so he's saying that what's really cool about that is it shows you how disciplined you are. You think you have no control over that, but you do. It's just habit. And so what he says is, there's a lot of techniques in there, but one of them is, what happens if you, you start habituating yourself to remembering good moments in your life, instead of bad moments in your life. And it sounds so obvious, but when you, every time you find yourself getting freaked out over that fucking memory, the thing, what

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  you're worried about, the thing, you replace it. And he says, and he says, it doesn't have to be a big thing, like winning a marathon. He's like, he uses the example of when you learn to tie your shoes.

• 1:05:45Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  You know, some, just.

• 1:05:48Theo Von?

  When somebody smiled at you.

• 1:05:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:05:49Theo Von?

  When you smiled at someone.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that that's enough. And you start replacing this habitual rumination with good memories, even if they're from the distant past, it doesn't matter. All of a sudden, your life starts changing because your, your inner identity will begin to conform to.

• 1:06:12Theo Von?

  It'll begin to lead your outer identity.

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  That's right. Yeah. You start making different choices, all this stuff changes in your life. So he, his point is, you don't really need to get plastic surgery. He was, he was saying that some people get a scar on their face, and it makes them more powerful. Like he was, I think the Nazis, the fencing Nazis, if you got a scar on your face, it means you were like a, a great fencer. It so, but some people get a scar on their face ruins their life.

• 1:06:43Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  You know, so obviously what's going on there is not the external appearance.

• 1:06:48Theo Von?

  Wow, it's how your brain, it's how you're wearing it.

• 1:06:50Speaker 01

  You got it.

• 1:06:51Theo Von?

  Dang, and I wonder if, what if we all just don't even, I've long thought this. What if we all don't realize there's so much more capability that we have that we just don't know? I believe that that's such a truth. Like, what if you could think your way into looking somehow different? Like, that's almost, that's almost, it's interesting for a plastic surgeon to say that. Cause it's like.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:13Theo Von?

  What if people could think or believe themselves?

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:16Theo Von?

  Into actually that you're, that you would then visually somehow look different. Like, I know it probably would be tough to really unstructure your, like, it wouldn't, skeletonly, that would be probably impossible. But on a, but on a different type of level, or could your skeleton morph over time? It's interesting to think that, wow, if I had enough of belief, or if I, if I purvey this type of energy.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:07:40Theo Von?

  Or I just envisioned it enough that I would actually become the thing that I envisioned.

• 1:07:45Speaker 01

  Well, pull up, pull up like an early picture of Marilyn Monroe before she got famous.

• 1:07:51Theo Von?

  I go visit her grave sometimes.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  You really do? Is she in Nashville?

• 1:07:55Theo Von?

  She lives, or she's, she die, she dies, I guess. She lives in a coffin around the corner from where I live at.

• 1:08:03Speaker 01

  Lives in a coffin?

• 1:08:04Theo Von?

  In West, in Westwood, I mean.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  Craziest way to say dead.

• 1:08:07Theo Von?

  Yeah, she's deceased, sorry.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  She's living in a coffin now.

• 1:08:10Theo Von?

  Yeah, but she's, yeah.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  So.

• 1:08:11Theo Von?

  That's her?

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, so that's Marilyn Monroe.

• 1:08:14Theo Von?

  No, bro.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:16Theo Von?

  Now, I will say this, she's an attractive young lady. She's not the Marilyn Monroe that we envision.

• 1:08:22Speaker 01

  Still beautiful.

• 1:08:23Theo Von?

  That's, you sure that's her?

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, find some other, like, early pictures of Marilyn Monroe before she was famous. I don't know how you find that. Cause like, a lot of these are like modeling pictures, but when, when you look at them, it's like. There you go. And like, you know, obviously you could say I'd suck her feet still, but you could say that that this was, you know, lighting, makeup and stuff like that. But there's a story I heard. I don't know if it's true or not. Marilyn Monroe is at a diner. She's with one of her, like, I think, childhood friends. And like, you know, no one even knows it's Marilyn Monroe. And Marilyn Monroe says to her friend, "Do you want to see what happens when I become her?" And her friend's like, "Yeah." And so all of a sudden, she does something and turns, like, essentially shapeshifts.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  Like, she embodies Marilyn Monroe. And everyone in the cafe starts looking at her like, "Oh, my God, that's Marilyn Monroe." So this is what this dude is talking about. And, you know, how many times have you been with a person who maybe isn't like, classically beautiful, but their personality is so amazing that you start falling in love with it? You realize the physical appearance, it's nothing compared to this spirit inside of them. And the converse sadly happens, where you're around a beautiful person and you realize, "Oh, my God, this is a monster." And it's so fascinating. It's just the shell, it's like a lampshade or something. It's like, what kind of light is shining through?

• 1:09:53Theo Von?

  Dude, that's a great way to say that, man. It's like a lampshade.

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  There it is.

• 1:09:58Theo Von?

  The Marilyn Monroe shapeshifter story refers to a famous anecdote where she could alter her appearance simply by changing her posture and energy. When walking down a busy street unnoticed as Norma Jean, she would turn to a companion and ask, "Do you want to see her?" And instantly transform into the iconic Marilyn. People who were with Marilyn during these moments, such as her friend Eli Wallach, or the actress Susan Strasberg noted that she changed nothing about her clothes or makeup. Instead, the transformation was a masterclass in embodiment. Wow.

• 1:10:25Speaker 01

  It's wild. That stuff is wild that you could do that.

• 1:10:29Theo Von?

  But it is interesting, yeah, how I feel, what do I carry, what am I gonna take outside with me today? What am I gonna take inside with me today, you know? And I, I, I, you know, I applaud like parents, because I know their lives get so busy and the time that they have to even take for themselves.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:44Theo Von?

  And the time that one of them's like, hey, will you keep watch for a little bit while I just go meditate for 10 minutes? Or brush my teeth?

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:51Theo Von?

  Or pat myself on the back or cry in the bathroom.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:54Theo Von?

  You know?

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, it gets wild.

• 1:10:56Theo Von?

  Like, I think that's a real war. It's a real tandem, it's a real, if it's working well, I bet it's a real tandem thing. And sometimes it's painful and sometimes it's beautiful and sometimes it's probably a lot of things, but I applaud that. The amount of time parents has, has to be like.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. Well, you know, but the thing is, um, and you're right, and you're totally right. The amount of free time I have now compared to the free time I used to have, like, I could spend days, days alone in my house blasting Rails Academy, completely, happily alone, playing video games.

• 1:11:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Alone.

• 1:11:38Theo Von?

  Well, of course.

• 1:11:39Speaker 01

  And I would get bummed out if I had something to do like two days, two days away, I'd be stressed out, yeah.

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  But, but.

• 1:11:47Theo Von?

  Bro, that's when you know you're gonna be doing some drugs.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, man, and, and, and, but now, um, I have, I have no very, what, what people would call free time.

• 1:11:58Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:58Speaker 01

  But what is free time? The real question is like, the, the example that, that I've been taught in Buddhism is we all have a version, a, a place where this is where I'm gonna feel all right. And for like a lot of people, maybe not touring stand-up comics, but for a lot of people, that could be a hotel room. A nice hotel room, you can order room service, the TV, the soft bed, no disturbances, phone is off.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Now I will relax. So this creates a terrible tension between every other moment. Like everyone has their place, what the place or everything, this is where I'm gonna be. For some people, it's just coming home after a hard day's work, sit on the couch. Whatever it is, for some people, everyone has their little oasis in their mind. This is the place.

• 1:12:47Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:48Speaker 01

  But the idea is, this is an illusion. The oasis is an illusion. You go into that place, the place isn't giving you relaxation. The place isn't giving you peace. You're deciding, this is where I will be at peace. Theoretically, you could do that through the whole fucking day. Your whole day could theoretically become that place that you're hoping to get to. When you have enough money, when you finally get a vacation, when you finally get some a moment to yourself. And this is what I have read as one of the definitions of enlightenment. Enlightenment, this is a definition I heard. Cause it's even defining it is is difficult and who the fuck knows.

• 1:13:31Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  The idea is, what if every place you are at was free time? Even though it was filled up with all kinds of activity, even though there were things you had to do. What if you were maintaining this sense of like, yeah, this is where I belong. This is good. This is the vacation.

• 1:13:52Speaker 01

  And this is in in in the Third Patriarch of Zen.

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  He wrote this great book.

• 1:13:59Theo Von?

  In Buddhism, you learn this?

• 1:14:00Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah, the first line, and I wish I could, the name is like, I think Japanese. Can you look up the Third Patriarch of Zen? And yeah, that's it. And and he wrote, "The great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences." Your preferences are tormenting your act. You wanna be there. You don't wanna be here. You wanna be somewhere else. And when you're a parent, your preferences will destroy you. Cause you, obviously, there's moments that I just wanna play Diablo four, dude. I just wanna sit on the fucking couch and play Diablo four. I just wanna be alone. I don't wanna be around anybody for a second. That's a preference.

• 1:14:42Speaker 01

  And the more you cling to that, the more you'll suffer. The part of the soul that burns in hell is the part that clings to life.

• 1:14:52Theo Von?

  Wow.

• 1:14:52Speaker 01

  That might throw at heart, but dude.

• 1:14:54Theo Von?

  Dude, I think about that stuff a lot, dude, with like, uh, sometimes with like reliving old parts of my past or old stories or just like, yeah, old things that happened. It's like, how long do I want to think I have to figure this out? Before I just want to set up some barricades for myself now that's like, hey, we're not going to go try to figure that out anymore. We're just going to move on, right? And we're going to move on and we're going to put boundaries in place so that when this thing or the or certain types of people or this energy comes around, that this is how we're going to behave towards it.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:25Theo Von?

  And we're not going to be like mean to it, but this is how we're going to operate now. Instead of like, I get stuck in this place of like, well, I'll figure this out or a little more therapy and this and that. And the therapy and stuff, it's all good, right? It's all helpful. It's all like, put some magnifying glass on things that are cool. But, um, but to at some point be like, you know, this path, it's a lot, I don't know, I've been on this this path for a while. Let me try to do something else. Let me try to move forward. Let me try to not even let this be a like, let, let, let me really let this be part of the past.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:01Theo Von?

  Instead of going back to the past to solve something. Like, that's the thing. Sometimes I keep going back to the past to solve the present. Where it's like, let me try and do this maybe a little bit different. And, um, so I've just been thinking about that recently. Um, thanks so much for some of the chats, dude. I want to find out what's, what's a rabbit hole? Or like something that you guys have learned, um, on mystery, on mystery boys. But I just want to get this update. The guest Mark Elliott clarifies that he does not claim to have been cured of Tourette's syndrome. Instead, he describes his experience as a journey where he found a way to master the condition, noting that while the symptoms have drastically reduced, he still feels the urge occasionally and works to change his relationship with it. Interesting. Yeah. Write it down. That's what I do, dude. Write it down. Um.

• 1:16:47Theo Von?

  With Mystery Boys, what is a rabbit hole kind of that you or something new that you guys have like latched on to that's been like really interesting to go down that you and Metzger have uh have?

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  I gotta give full credit to Metzger for most of the rabbit holes. Like, I'm telling you, this guy, he like, it's

• 1:17:04Theo Von?

  Do you think he's good or evil when you think about him?

• 1:17:06Speaker 01

  He's good.

• 1:17:07Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:17:08Speaker 01

  Very good.

• 1:17:08Theo Von?

  This is a pop quiz, man.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  Do you, why? Do you think he's evil?

• 1:17:10Theo Von?

  No, I don't. I was asking you. He actually texted me and told me to ask you that.

• 1:17:14Speaker 01

  Are you kidding me?

• 1:17:15Theo Von?

  No, I'm not kidding you at all. So it's just a good

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  Oh, he's the sweetest

• 1:17:18Theo Von?

  I know him. I'm, I've, I've already decided how I feel about him.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  He's good. Really good. I wouldn't do a fucking podcast with an evil person. Why would you do that to yourself? That's horrible.

• 1:17:30Theo Von?

  Dude, do you ever think what if one day you got home years from now? And you started to notice like something like the, like your skin around your chin or something? And you started peeling it and then you took it off? And what if we were the aliens, dude?

• 1:17:43Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Oh my god.

• 1:17:44Theo Von?

  Like this whole time?

• 1:17:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:46Theo Von?

  We've been trying to hunt the aliens.

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 1:17:48Theo Von?

  And then you peel, you're like, what is that?

• 1:17:50Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 1:17:50Theo Von?

  You think it's acne and it's just fucking abracadabra. You're an alien.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  Oh my god. And then you peel the alien mask off and you're a human.

• 1:17:58Theo Von?

  Yeah, and you're a cool black guy.

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  So what the fuck are you, man?

• 1:18:01Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  What are you?

• 1:18:03Theo Von?

  To turn it up.

• 1:18:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know

• 1:18:10Theo Von?

  Spin that shit. Uh, how about this, dude?

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  I'll give you a quick one.

• 1:18:15Theo Von?

  Yeah, take me down, but I want to go down a rabbit hole.

• 1:18:16Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:18:17Theo Von?

  And that was, uh, and no, Kurt didn't ask that either. I was just joking around, dude.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  He's far from evil, but um, Metzger did uh, give me a little bit of trivia, which I'd never heard before, which is the most batshit thing ever. So, John Wayne Gacy, the famous serial killer.

• 1:18:37Theo Von?

  From Illinois, yeah.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  Horrible motherfucker, the clown.

• 1:18:41Theo Von?

  Yeah, pedophile.

• 1:18:42Speaker 01

  John Wayne Gacy, pedophile, fucking clown. Just horrible human being. He, you

• 1:18:48Theo Von?

  Lazy too, lazy. Killed people, put him under his house.

• 1:18:51Speaker 01

  Oh yeah. He said that if he was guilty of anything, it was running a funeral home without a license. Because he had rotting child corpses under his fucking house. Also, weirdly political. And um, so John Wayne Gacy was executed on

• 1:19:09Speaker 01

  A solar eclipse, which is already weird. Like, what, you know, you know, there was gonna be eclipse that day.

• 1:19:16Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Why are you executing one of the most notorious serial killers, like, on the day that, like, in a horror movie, that's how you get a zombie, a Freddy Krueger, that's how you get a demon or something, execute the person, it's a solar eclipse, they come back to life, or they haunt your dreams. So that's just weird by itself. But coincidentally, Jeffrey Dahmer was baptized, and I'm not sure into what denomination of Christianity, on the same day. Another fucking serial killer baptized while, during the execution of, like, so, so it's-

• 1:19:57Theo Von?

  So a spiritual realm is open?

• 1:19:59Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:19:59Theo Von?

  And a, uh, and a calendar, a seasonal, a, what realm would that be?

• 1:20:05Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:20:06Theo Von?

  Like, the, the, the, the spiritual realm is open with the baptism, like, there's a spiritual-

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:20:12Theo Von?

  Like, embodiment happening.

• 1:20:14Speaker 01

  And eclipses, just so, like, in the West, we think they're cool. Everyone goes out-

• 1:20:19Theo Von?

  An eclipse?

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  You get your eclipse glasses, everyone goes out to look, they are fucking cool. I've been there, they're amazing, it's amazing to witness the temperature drops, shadows get weird. But like, you know, one of my friends, who's like a Shivaite for real, like, who, like, you know, Hindu follower of Shiva, um, you know, he was explaining to me, like, in India, eclipses are not something you want to go out under, like, it's, it's, represents an opening where a lot of weird shit can come into this realm. So, you know, his advice was, don't, um, don't go outside during an eclipse, like, it's, you don't understand the energies that are out there, this is a, one of, this is in their cosmology. So,

• 1:21:05Speaker 01

  it's a very powerful, even if you're not into the woo stuff, it's a very- Crazy thing that happens and, and it, birds stop singing. You know, they think it's nighttime all of a sudden, like it's just a very deep spiritual moment. So why, why do you execute this monster during an eclipse? And why do you baptize another monster during the eclipse? And why, why on the same day? And how is that accidental? And, and maybe that's cymatics. I don't know. Maybe that's just part of what, of like the weird, secret gears in the universe we don't know about. But to me, it's very fascinating when moments like that emerge.

• 1:21:48Theo Von?

  Right. When it's, when, when, when the curtains are open a little bit into the ethereal, into the next realm. When somebody spiritually or kind of your, when there's an anointment and a, and a, an embodiment, putting the, you know, blessing somebody with the, the embodiment of God, like bringing God into their, into their heart. You know, like.

• 1:22:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:22:09Theo Von?

  That's, that's risky behavior, dude. I, I, yeah, I, I wonder if, um, do you know if? It's kind of weird that we get people to go outside and look up into the eclipse then.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:22Theo Von?

  Was that always a practice? Or did people used to not look staring at the eclipse?

• 1:22:27Speaker 01

  Oh, no, dude. People went blind for sure. I, there's a famous.

• 1:22:31Theo Von?

  People went blind just because they were eight years old back in the day.

• 1:22:33Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, you would just go blind from drinking water.

• 1:22:37Theo Von?

  I mean, dude, imagine how scary, dude, everything was a game show like 200 years ago, dude. A cup of water, you could get dehydrated or tuberculosis.

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  What do you want? Explosive diarrhea?

• 1:22:51Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:51Speaker 01

  You want to die of thirst or die of dysentery? Pick. One or the other. One or the other.

• 1:22:57Theo Von?

  No, people have not always looked at eclipses. Historically, witnessing an eclipse was often met with fear, awe, or strict avoidance rather than direct observation. Because ancient civilizations lacked scientific explanations. Many cultures considered the darkening of the sun to be a bad omen or a disruption of the natural order.

• 1:23:15Speaker 01

  That makes sense.

• 1:23:16Theo Von?

  For sure. Many cultures believed a celestial creature was attempting to devour the sun. The Norse blamed sky wolves. The Chinese told tales of a celestial dragon and Aztecs believed the jaguar was eating the sun. People would often bang pots, scream or shoot arrows into the air to frighten the monster away.

• 1:23:31Speaker 01

  And it worked.

• 1:23:32Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:34Theo Von?

  But it is, when did we start enjoying, when did we start seeing eclipses and going and watching?

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  I mean forever.

• 1:23:40Theo Von?

  But did, when did, did it become a practice? Like, was there something that happened? Like, it was a big thing on television? Like, go see the eclipse or whatever?

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  It was always significant. I mean, it's just like, no matter what period in human history, like, can you fucking imagine, like, not knowing what was going on, why that was happening?

• 1:23:57Theo Von?

  Fun would we have had back then? First of all, you get to make up what's going on, right? Or you just get to believe what's hap- like, you get to believe what's happening. But I just think the imagine, imagine everybody's imagination back then.

• 1:24:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:11Theo Von?

  And everybody's like storytelling, like, you had to have a piece of information even, you had to, like, life was probably scary. You had to seem viable. You had to fight for your existence, probably.

• 1:24:25Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, this is what I think is interesting.

• 1:24:27Theo Von?

  Like, you valued your life more because you fucking, your sibling was dying at home. It was like, let, let, let this day mean, let this day mean something to me. Let this information that I'm reading to, let it, let the fact that I can absorb information, let it mean something to me.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  You, you're saying that now, maybe we've lost that, that, that people have become sort of numb nihilistic husks who don't value their own existence like they did when you watched your friend get eaten by a wolf.

• 1:24:55Theo Von?

  Right. I think we're, it's a tough, I think we're, we are deeper in it than we know. I think we are up to our waist right now in it.

• 1:25:01Speaker 01

  In what?

• 1:25:02Theo Von?

  In, um, in the suction of, of, of the devil.

• 1:25:09Speaker 01

  Oh, right.

• 1:25:09Theo Von?

  In the suction of something deviant, in the suction of the dark arts, man. I believe that it is, we think we just have nice pants on, but we don't realize that we've invited these skins of like, you know, we've invited something, there's something very demonic going on. Do you think technology is inherently demonic?

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  Oh, my God. I mean, you, it, okay, so first, like, let's define demonic.

• 1:25:33Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  So what is your definition of demonic?

• 1:25:36Theo Von?

  Uh, with intent to harm, to,

• 1:25:43Theo Von?

  let me see, demonic. I would say of Satan's will.

• 1:25:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25:47Theo Von?

  With intent to.

• 1:25:51Theo Von?

  Be a succubus to the godliness that to the uh nature and morality and godliness that may that that exists inside of us as a group and as individuals.

• 1:26:06Speaker 01

  Okay, so.

• 1:26:07Theo Von?

  Does that make sense or not?

• 1:26:08Speaker 01

  Did you have Bishop Robert Baron on your show?

• 1:26:10Theo Von?

  No, cool guy.

• 1:26:11Speaker 01

  You've got to have him on.

• 1:26:12Theo Von?

  BRB?

• 1:26:13Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:26:14Theo Von?

  Damn dude.

• 1:26:14Speaker 01

  You guys will hit it up.

• 1:26:15Theo Von?

  Crazy though.

• 1:26:16Speaker 01

  You guys will hit it up.

• 1:26:16Theo Von?

  Crazy initials to have.

• 1:26:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's he's really cool. He was a.

• 1:26:20Theo Von?

  Sign him up, alright Zach?

• 1:26:21Speaker 01

  I I had him on my podcast and uh what's really interesting is actually having on my podcast got me more interested in Christianity than any other any other time in my life. And the reason was not necessarily what he told me though, you know, he's a really cool guy and like obviously he's like brilliant, he's bishop and he's obviously a theologian.

• 1:26:42Theo Von?

  He's Orthodox, Greek Orthodox?

• 1:26:44Speaker 01

  He's Catholic.

• 1:26:45Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  I don't, yeah, so, but what was really weird is, you know, I've had so many guests of all kinds of, I've had Satanists on the podcast, I've had witches on the podcast, I've had Hindus, Buddhists, New Age people, LSD chemists, I've had all kinds of, you know, generally.

• 1:27:06Theo Von?

  Wiggas? God's Dalmatians.

• 1:27:08Speaker 01

  Never, and.

• 1:27:09Theo Von?

  You haven't?

• 1:27:10Speaker 01

  Not yet.

• 1:27:10Theo Von?

  Bro, that's a road to go down. That's the eclipse, dude, that's the eclipse.

• 1:27:15Speaker 01

  No, I probably have. I have to go back and look at the catalog.

• 1:27:18Theo Von?

  That's that's a human eclipse.

• 1:27:20Speaker 01

  But dude, I get it, I have one Catholic bishop on and man, people got so mad at me and it was really interesting because it's like, wait a minute, what the fuck? Like you guys didn't care when I had like people who.

• 1:27:39Theo Von?

  Were you trying to demonize the guy? Why'd they get mad?

• 1:27:41Speaker 01

  Well, because like the basically what started bubbling up was that I moved to Texas. I'm having a bunch of fucking kids. I've become some kind of fundamentalist Christian. All this like, I love religion and I, I love Christianity. I love like, I, I, I'm fascinated by it. And, and the New Testament is so beautiful and so different from what most people think it is. Like when you sit down and actually read it yourself, if you have an idea of what Christianity is, you realize whatever that was is not what this is, which is to me, a really sort of thrilling moment in studying any religion. Like if you're, if you're going to critique a religion or a philosophy, you really, I think, need to study it deeply.

• 1:28:26Theo Von?

  Amen. That's a good point.

• 1:28:28Speaker 01

  And then you can then go for it, right?

• 1:28:29Theo Von?

  We gotta start doing that more, I think, on here is learning about some of the depths of different religions, because you see a lot of stuff online that can lead you in certain ways.

• 1:28:37Speaker 01

  But demons.

• 1:28:38Theo Von?

  Yep.

• 1:28:39Speaker 01

  Satan.

• 1:28:39Theo Von?

  Satan and demons. I believe that Satan is way more active than we think. I think we got into this lush period of like, of self believing that something was taking care of us. Not that something doesn't love us. I believe that.

• 1:28:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:54Theo Von?

  But we believe that something was taking care of us, that we didn't have to show up for our own like salvation, not just religiously, but for our own salvation as human beings as well. For our own day to day salvation. Do you think that, um, do you think that we are strong enough or care enough to save ourselves?

• 1:29:18Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, I, I, I hear what you're saying. And that's a really good question, because I think you're pointing towards a misconception or in Buddhism, what would be considered a distortion when it comes to what people think they are. And so in Buddhism, this shows up as something called. Interdependency or dependent co origination, which means that we're all connected. That the clothes that you're wearing, everything that you are, every, everything around you, everything is, is there because of causes and conditions that created the situation that

• 1:30:00Speaker 01

  we're in. So in other words, when you ask, are we enough to, to save ourselves? It points to a distortion, which is we think we are an individual self disconnected from the system.

• 1:30:12Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:30:13Speaker 01

  And of course, we're not enough to save ourselves. And, and I don't just mean in a spiritual sense. I mean, everything that we consider, that, that we need for survival around us right now is there because of the labor and work and energy of people you're never going to meet. The food was hauled in on trucks, the plastic in the Fiji bottle, your clothes, everything, your books, the, the trees that grew to make the wood for your son. All of these things are, point to a, a complete tapestry of existence, meaning there isn't such a self anyway. But if you think that you're a self, then you, if you're

• 1:30:56Speaker 01

  foolish enough to think you're all you need, it's like, look around you.

• 1:31:01Theo Von?

  Right. But no, but by, I mean, I, I agree. But do you think we as a, do you think we are strong enough to show up and save ourselves?

• 1:31:10Speaker 01

  You mean as, as a species?

• 1:31:11Theo Von?

  As a species. Cause I feel like we're kind of on the brink of this place where something could happen. Or like, we're this like, like they're, like, I don't know. It seems like darkness is trying to defeat us.

• 1:31:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:31:23Theo Von?

  And it feels like, are we strong enough to save ourselves? Cause some days it feels like maybe, and some days it feels like maybe not.

• 1:31:30Speaker 01

  Well, I don't think, I think that, I, I think that the.

• 1:31:39Speaker 01

  I think a lot of people's suffering is related to self cherishing. A lot of people's suffering is related to being misdirected. There is a misdirected force in the universe. Now Bishop Barron, he was telling me, well, what is the definition of Satan? Like, what is it, the actual definition of Satan? What is it, what is it described as? And he said, it is the accuser, the scatterer, that which scatters. So if we're going to come up with a definition of the demonic, and the question is, is like, this technology demonic? And let's just throw the word Satan out for a second, because that does create a knee jerk reaction in people. A lot of people do have like religious trauma for real.

• 1:32:24Speaker 01

  And I know that word gets thrown around a lot, but some people are born into highly abusive households where religion is used as an excuse to fuck with the irrational mind or people. It's not, when which-

• 1:32:37Theo Von?

  Right, I'm being a little bit flippant about it.

• 1:32:39Speaker 01

  No, I don't think you're being flippant. I think you're, I'm just, I'm-

• 1:32:42Theo Von?

  But you're just clarifying.

• 1:32:42Speaker 01

  I'm, yeah, but, but, so for some people, it's useful to throw out words like that and just, you don't have to use that word if you, I think it's a useful word, but-

• 1:32:52Theo Von?

  Well, it could mean the devil, the dark energy.

• 1:32:54Speaker 01

  Whatever you want to, you know, but Satan does have like some specific definitions. The scatterer and the accuser.

• 1:33:01Theo Von?

  That's exactly what's going on right now.

• 1:33:02Speaker 01

  What is technology doing? It's accusing one group or another group of being the source of all the suffering in the world. The accuser. I've seen you, Theo, accused of, you know, because of the people you have in your podcast. It's all your fucking fault, dude. Look what you've done, right? But it's not just you. It's not just you. It's what, what, what technology is doing, what the algorithm seems to be doing, is creating these very clear distorted distinctions between groups of people.

• 1:33:38Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:33:39Speaker 01

  Which is anytime you have direct one-on-one contact with most people.

• 1:33:45Speaker 01

  They're awesome. They might be annoying. They might disagree with you.

• 1:33:49Theo Von?

  Might be chatty or whatever.

• 1:33:50Speaker 01

  Chatty, but in general, they all.

• 1:33:53Theo Von?

  They're good.

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  People want to help.

• 1:33:55Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:55Speaker 01

  People actually really want to help. It's very sweet.

• 1:33:57Theo Von?

  But I agree. You get behind these phones and it's like, I mean, there's so much racial, like, I have like black friends that'll just be like, they act like they were slaves sometimes because of the fodder they get fed. They'll get stuff like, remember when you were a slave? And it's like,

• 1:34:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:11Theo Von?

  And I'm like, dude, Ronnie, what are you talking about? I'm like, your dad worked at Chase Bank.

• 1:34:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:16Theo Von?

  When were you a fucking slave? You were the best player on our team, dude. You got all the girls. You got all the white girls too.

• 1:34:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, look at all the stories. Look at all the stories.

• 1:34:26Theo Von?

  Remember when you were a slave? Chew some of this slave gum and it'll sell you slave. It'll be like, oh, remember this Richmond, Virginia gum, you know?

• 1:34:33Speaker 01

  Remember that?

• 1:34:33Theo Von?

  Tastes like the 1870s, you know?

• 1:34:35Speaker 01

  Dude, they're trying to replace you.

• 1:34:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:37Speaker 01

  If you're white, they're trying to replace you. Better watch out. You're going to be replaced or.

• 1:34:42Theo Von?

  But there's some groups that never get pointed at.

• 1:34:44Speaker 01

  Well, what I'm saying is, if you look at the emergent,

• 1:34:50Speaker 01

  like you could call the culture war stuff, I think you could actually identify this as a kind of a religion or a LARP even. It's, it's, people are LARPing because the first thing that's happening is you're being invited to take a side. You know, if you're, if you're a black person, okay, you, you need to be on the side of, whatever, like if you want to get.

• 1:35:14Theo Von?

  Slave gum or whatever.

• 1:35:15Speaker 01

  If you're gay, now you need to join the LGB. You're part of this movement.

• 1:35:19Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:35:19Speaker 01

  If you're white, you're being replaced. If you're Jewish, they're gonna, the concentration camps are about to start up again. You can look and see that every single person on the planet, if you want to attach to a terrifying, horrible story, you can find it. And the moment you subscribe to it. You invited in, your algorithm will be flooded with things to confirm your worst fears, giving you a sense that this is real, crystallizing the distortion. This, this is all happening in 2D space on your fucking phone.

• 1:35:53Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  Mostly. I'm not saying that there isn't obviously real evil happening in the world right now, but this moment right now, wherever you may be, this moment right now, it's pretty good.

• 1:36:06Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:36:07Speaker 01

  This is the kingdom of God. This is what I think Jesus was talking about. The kingdom of God is here right now. This is why the symbol of blindness appears again and again. Uh, Saul of Tarsus, Saul of Tarsus, stoning fucking Christians, which to this day is very popular. You know, they're one of the most persecuted, it's one of the most persecuted religions to this day. And people get mad at me for saying that, but you can look it up, dude.

• 1:36:32Theo Von?

  Oh, who, Christianity?

• 1:36:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:36:33Theo Von?

  Oh, for sure.

• 1:36:33Speaker 01

  They're killing.

• 1:36:34Theo Von?

  There's some, there's a lot of videos recently that you'll see, it's still happening in a lot of places.

• 1:36:38Speaker 01

  Very popular.

• 1:36:38Theo Von?

  Can you bring up the Saul of Tarsus story, please?

• 1:36:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, Saul of Tarsus. It's a great story. He became Paul.

• 1:36:44Theo Von?

  Saul of Tarsus, thank you. Saul of Tarsus was a key observer and approving bystander at the execution of Stephen, the first Christian martyr, rather than casting stones himself. Saul guarded the heavy cloaks of the witnesses while they carried out the stoning. Wow.

• 1:36:58Speaker 01

  And then who did he become?

• 1:37:01Speaker 01

  Saul of Tarsus, the road to Damascus. He's walking, has a vision of Christ. Jesus says, Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? Is that a, had a conversion experience?

• 1:37:13Theo Von?

  The story of Saul on the road to Damascus is a pivotal event in Christian history, describing Saul of Tarsus, of Tarsus, dramatic conversion in the apostle Paul. Traveling to Damascus to arrest and persecute Christians, he was blinded by a divine light and heard the voice of Jesus. Wow.

• 1:37:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. Now, now, there's a lot of interpretations of this, this event. Who knows? But this idea of, of blind, of blindness, Jesus curing the blind man, all this stuff, the blind, the blindness. This to me is the situation. We're kind of in a situation of

• 1:37:45Theo Von?

  Blindness.

• 1:37:46Speaker 01

  An interesting kind of blindness because the modern mind thinks that they're very clear. They think that they're seeing things very clearly. They know a sophisticated person. It should be worried about, you know, there's a list of things you should be worried about. This means you're on the right side and you're sophisticated if you're worried about the right things. Certain things, if you're worried about them, mean you're a fucking piece of shit, racist, bigoted piece of shit. You gotta be worried about the right things, but what do they all have in common? Worry. You need to be freaked out. You need to be worried, scared. That bumper sticker. If you're not angry, you're not listening. Now,

• 1:38:20Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:21Speaker 01

  That's one of the most satanic bumper stickers I've ever seen in my fucking life. I think the devil himself printed that shit out. It's basically like, i- if you aren't angry, something's wrong with you. You need to be angry, scared, pissed off, judgmental. Don't talk to those people. Don't look at those people. Don't think those thoughts. Everything about you is fucking wrong. Everything about them's wrong. You gotta be in a constant contorted state of deep anxiety, fear and worry, or you are not okay. You are not a good person unless you're scared.

• 1:38:55Theo Von?

  And we should, there should be a score now that you get to see when you meet someone. How much time have they spent on their phone?

• 1:39:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:01Theo Von?

  What, what, what apps have they been on?

• 1:39:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:03Theo Von?

  What's, you know what I'm saying? Like, because it's kind of not even fair that these algorithms, the recent, there was just an, the algorithm act. What was that? They've been trying to get it passed for years now, but, um, and they had some cases recently where Meta has been held liable. There was a girl that had a lot of suicidal thoughts and, um, was, I believe had an eating disorder. I could be wrong with that. But, or was dealing with, um, uh, Algorithm Accountability Act of 2025 focused on automated decision systems in critical areas. Jobs, credit, housing, health, education, and this is according to perplexity. But yeah, it's like these algorithms should be held accountable. We are letting these, that's where the devil, it's like we're letting these things control. Cause I'll watch stuff, I'll see some clips. And if you look at one, then it's something else comes up and now you're down a rabbit hole.

• 1:39:48Theo Von?

  Then you see somebody from that group, whatever that is in real life.

• 1:39:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:52Theo Von?

  And you could have an energy towards them.

• 1:39:54Speaker 01

  That's right. I mean, they got you thinking about reparations.

• 1:39:57Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:57Speaker 01

  You're thinking about reparations a lot. Why?

• 1:40:00Theo Von?

  It keeps coming up on my feed.

• 1:40:01Speaker 01

  Fucking algorithm is showing you this version of reality. Where there's people all over the place trying to get reparations, which there are probably people, there are people doing that.

• 1:40:10Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:10Speaker 01

  But probably not as many as you think there are because your algorithm is just like, look, look what they're doing. Look.

• 1:40:17Theo Von?

  So then I see like a homeless guy and he's like, hey, can I get a buck? I'm like, oh, okay.

• 1:40:21Speaker 01

  Oh, reparations. You want reparations. And that's just because of the, you're get, you're.

• 1:40:25Theo Von?

  You're right, bro.

• 1:40:26Speaker 01

  You're contaminating yourself. We all have it. I have it too. Everyone has it.

• 1:40:29Theo Von?

  Everyone has it, but that's the thing. Are we, is there enough space to rise up? Is there enough space to rise above it? I, I think here's the thing. We have to believe that there is and envision a possibility that where there is, otherwise there isn't. So that's one thing.

• 1:40:44Speaker 01

  There is. Definitely is.

• 1:40:46Theo Von?

  But dude, even just the fake AI stuff, just to make things a little softer, soften up the conversation.

• 1:40:50Speaker 01

  Soften it up.

• 1:40:50Theo Von?

  Um, what's a fake AI story? Oh, did you see, what was the one? Brain? I think I put it on the list of, it's in my, it's in my, um.

• 1:40:59Theo Von?

  Oh yeah. There was this girl Kay, oh yeah, Kaylee. This was the lawsuit. She had, she, uh, she argued that features like infinite scrolling, autoplay, algorithm recommendations and beauty filters were engineered to make users engage compulsively.

• 1:41:13Speaker 01

  Um, true.

• 1:41:14Theo Von?

  What breaks my heart sometimes though, or I don't know if it breaks my heart, but it kind of makes me, I don't know. It makes me mad that I got to sit with some of these guys and they act like there's no crime in their algorithms. They act like there's no like, like evil goals behind it.

• 1:41:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:41:30Theo Von?

  And I think it's obvious.

• 1:41:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:41:33Theo Von?

  That anybody can see where we're headed isn't a great place. So do you think some of these technocrats just don't have a moral compass? Because something must be wrong.

• 1:41:44Speaker 01

  Oh dude, I mean, that's a whole, that's a deep fucking rabbit hole. Like you're.

• 1:41:50Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 1:41:50Speaker 01

  Cause you're talking about like the Galapagos, okay, Galapagos silence, right? Weird creatures there because they're separated from everything else, right? So when we're talking about the Silicon Valley tech overlords, we're talking about a weird kind of Galapagos island where you've got this set group of people who've been there for a while, who have been engineering the technology that is now being used for mass surveillance, for blowing up Palestinians, for fucking exploding parts of the world and for hypnotizing children into like being glued to the fucking technology, right? And so you're looking at like essentially a warlock's guild. These are the wizards of the world.

• 1:42:34Speaker 01

  They are summoning spirits via AI. A lot of them were into the occult. You can look that shit up. And regardless, I think there's public records of some of them saying that they used BF Skinner, the behaviorists, work. And he was the guy who could make like pigeons tap dance and shit. They coded that into the algorithm, the same stuff they use for slot machines and stuff in Vegas.

• 1:42:56Theo Von?

  I've seen that.

• 1:42:57Speaker 01

  Right? So these are wizards, illusionists. So dude, it's like, do they know what they're doing? Yes, they were there. They're making addictive technologies. Can they say that's what they were doing? Hell no.

• 1:43:11Theo Von?

  Do you think it's a unified goal? Or do you think they all just happen to each have these things going on and that's where we are?

• 1:43:16Speaker 01

  Dude, I think that.

• 1:43:19Theo Von?

  And I'll come on, I want to come on y'all's show and we'll go down this rabbit hole.

• 1:43:21Speaker 01

  I love to. I listen, man, I think.

• 1:43:23Theo Von?

  Cause we're going to get into some softer stuff.

• 1:43:24Speaker 01

  This is what I do know. Before we get into the soft stuff, I do know this. Zuckerberg apparently doesn't let his kids on the fucking computer. Apparently a lot of these tech people keep their kids off social media.

• 1:43:37Theo Von?

  I think I asked him about that, didn't I?

• 1:43:40Speaker 01

  What did he say?

• 1:43:41Theo Von?

  I think I said, do you, do your kids use social media?

• 1:43:44Speaker 01

  Regardless, they have strict fucking guardrails for their kids using social fucking media. And that is, is interesting to me. It's like, if this shit's so okay.

• 1:43:53Theo Von?

  What's going on? Yeah, I think I, let's check and see. I'm going to, I'll find out in just a second. I think we asked him about that. But yeah, this was, this was one thing I was saying about this. Like I remember watching this, right? I think this was last year a little bit, but this is called Brain Bridge, right? Play this clip.

• 1:44:10Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 1:44:11Speaker 03

  This is going to blow your mind. A startup company called Brain Bridge announced today that they believe that they will be able to successfully perform a head transplant surgery in the next eight years. The way that this would work is you would take a person with a perfectly healthy and active brain, but their body has cancer or paralysis and transplant it to a brain dead donor body. What's crazy is that they said that by doing this, the person that's receiving the new body would still be able to maintain their memories, cognitive abilities and consciousness. They say that the brain could last several hundred years if it had a good working body and that that might be a potential in the future, but that this would also give people

• 1:44:54Speaker 03

  with different ailments a second chance.

• 1:44:57Theo Von?

  Wow. I mean, but this came out and I remember a guy sent it to me. I'm not going to say who it was, but like kind of like a certain type of person.

• 1:45:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:05Theo Von?

  Sent it to me.

• 1:45:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:06Theo Von?

  From Birmingham or whatever. And he's like, man, this is scary, you know? And I'm like.

• 1:45:13Speaker 01

  That ain't real.

• 1:45:14Theo Von?

  That's not real, man. You know what I'm saying? But it's stuff like this that we think like, you know, and then you probably have like, like spouses, like a woman, she's like, oh, you have six more, you know, six more birthday cakes and because it said like six years it'll be happening, right?

• 1:45:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45:27Theo Von?

  Six more birthday cakes in my, you know, I'm going to have Denzel Washington in my kitchen or whatever, or I'm going to have, you know, the baby, you know, my husband's going to look like the baby or whatever. You're going to have like a 75 year old guy with like a body that's like, looks like a fucking, like a California raisin and the baby's head. Like it's just going to, so, but that's, that's AI stuff, you know? That's the things that people believe.

• 1:45:50Speaker 01

  It's not real. I've been, you know what AI has been showing me? A lot of fake honey badger content, videos, like nature videos, looks real, like honey badgers, like fighting elephants and horses, a lot of AI videos of like.

• 1:46:08Speaker 01

  God, what are those creatures that defend themselves with shit?

• 1:46:11Theo Von?

  Are you talking about those David Attenborough Fight Night videos?

• 1:46:15Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, but people are now generating very good AI video of like honey badgers fighting shit. And I was watching them for a while before I realized that's not real like, cause I love honey badgers. It's a, it's a, it's a different subject altogether, but um, a lot of these are fake as fuck. Or the hippos spinning their tails and shitting off, you know, they

• 1:46:34Theo Von?

  Yeah, doing that.

• 1:46:35Speaker 01

  Blasting tigers away and stuff. That's, a lot of those are fake.

• 1:46:39Theo Von?

  Are they really?

• 1:46:39Speaker 01

  I mean, it's insidious. It's at that level too. It's not just head transplant.

• 1:46:43Theo Von?

  Like elephant shits on birthday party or whatever?

• 1:46:45Speaker 01

  Go on Instagram and look up like hippo defending itself. And I'm pretty sure a lot of these are AI. I don't want it to be AI. I want it to be real. But if you look up any hippo, it's a whole genre now of hippos shitting on various predators.

• 1:46:57Theo Von?

  Yeah. If you guys can bring some of those up, we'll get right back to them. Um, dude, oh yeah. I saw this thing the other day. Hot air balloons are being used for sex trafficking. And that was an AI thing.

• 1:47:07Speaker 01

  That's so

• 1:47:08Theo Von?

  And that was an AI thing, dude. It's so, so now it's like, well, you take one of the most beautiful, like people are watching a hot air balloon race. And there's some grandmother being like, you know, there's a nine year, you know, or something.

• 1:47:19Speaker 01

  Kid bound and gagged in the basket of that balloon, getting shipped off to some fucked up island. That's so cra- everything beautiful, you know, brothels on the moon. Kids being transported in hot air balloons. They're ruining everything.

• 1:47:35Theo Von?

  But then they'll start, but then also what'll happen then is this is then this, this piece starts to happen. They take a fake story like that, right? Like the kids being sex trafficked, you know, like in hot air balloons, which is crazy, dude. Like, like how many people could even fit in a hot air balloon? Probably six to eight.

• 1:47:51Speaker 01

  Lot of kids.

• 1:47:52Theo Von?

  That's true. Probably four to 10.

• 1:47:54Speaker 01

  I don't know, but I, I think I could get 20 in there.

• 1:47:57Theo Von?

  I don't want to know.

• 1:47:58Speaker 01

  We could talk after the show.

• 1:47:59Theo Von?

  Yeah, we'll talk after the show. It's a big business. We're joking, but dude.

• 1:48:03Speaker 01

  We are joking. Jesus Christ, we're joking.

• 1:48:06Theo Von?

  But then here's what happens is they put the story out, right?

• 1:48:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:09Theo Von?

  Then they, then there becomes this lobbying towards the government. Like now somebody's lobbying for, we need to train officers. We need specifically trained officers who know how Hot air balloons so that they can be lookouts for this thing. And it becomes one of those Somali welfare things where it's just a money laundering thing. But it's all based off of, well, let's put the story out first.

• 1:48:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:48:29Theo Von?

  Create the fear, create the worry. Then let's find this other big financial solution that we, and do all the training and all the bullshit.

• 1:48:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:48:37Theo Von?

  So we have something to invoice the American government or any government for. And then the people, our tax money just goes to another thing. Now we have 700, you know, trained like hot air balloon surveillance technology.

• 1:48:50Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, I don't think you realize what you just did. But you have come up with like an incredible series on like NBC. Hot air balloon, like cop chasing sex predators through the skies. Dude, that's an incredible show.

• 1:49:08Theo Von?

  Thank you.

• 1:49:09Speaker 01

  Like that would be really, like, really fun to watch.

• 1:49:13Theo Von?

  Dude, imagine you're ducking down in your basket.

• 1:49:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. You get a new partner.

• 1:49:18Theo Von?

  You do that heat thing, you turn it up.

• 1:49:22Speaker 01

  Dude, I, I would watch that all day long. That's an incredible idea, but yeah, you're right. It creates a chain reaction and essentially it's just shit tons of money gets wasted on something fabricated.

• 1:49:34Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:49:34Speaker 01

  By like a couple of like teenagers in Morocco.

• 1:49:37Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:37Speaker 01

  And you know, or wherever, I don't know why I said Morocco.

• 1:49:40Theo Von?

  You know, but then they honor him at a football game. It's like, and there's Harold Arthur the third. He did 17 years in the hot air balloon surveillance squad. Let's give him a round of applause.

• 1:49:51Speaker 01

  Please salute him.

• 1:49:52Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:49:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, man, it's, you're right.

• 1:49:54Theo Von?

  And dude, but they used to have, I remember they had this girl in our school and her dad and his friend, I guess they were kind of gay men or whatever. And they would, uh, they were hot air balloon guys, but they would go up and kind of kiss whatever, like they would like, whatever. Meet up in this, like not meet up, I guess meet up in the sky or whatever, you know?

• 1:50:12Speaker 01

  How?

• 1:50:13Theo Von?

  Or just like locked, you know, tie their balloons off to each other.

• 1:50:15Speaker 01

  How does that, that wouldn't the, like, it's like, wouldn't the balloons themselves bump into each other?

• 1:50:22Theo Von?

  I think there's ways you can do that.

• 1:50:23Speaker 01

  Cause that is like, if you're gonna like create sort of a spectrum of gay.

• 1:50:29Theo Von?

  What's to hide? They were scared to get seen around town. So you level up.

• 1:50:34Speaker 01

  Like making out with another dude in a separate hot air balloon is, that's, that's gay.

• 1:50:41Theo Von?

  It's brave gays though.

• 1:50:42Speaker 01

  It's brave.

• 1:50:43Theo Von?

  Dude, brave gays, how was that on a show?

• 1:50:46Speaker 01

  That's the name of the show. That's it. They're gay hot air balloon cops. This is the next Brokeback Mountain.

• 1:50:56Theo Von?

  Do we have a beat of it here? Did he say anything?

• 1:50:59Speaker 04

  I think that's a big part of it. I try to like, it's important to me that the kids get that too. And the kids are very active.

• 1:51:08Theo Von?

  Do your kids have a lot of like screen time? Like, how much screen time do you allow your kids?

• 1:51:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's different for the different ones. We don't just like let them do whatever. But I actually like want them to be fluent with this stuff and that kind of like we talked about earlier. You know, I want them to learn how to code, how to use technology. I think it's important.

• 1:51:32Theo Von?

  But he's not saying he wants them to use it. He's saying he wants them to know how to code and use technology.

• 1:51:36Speaker 01

  I want them to be able to create the mind traps that I've created. I want them to be able to build manipulative, seductive technologies so that they can lure other children into my trap that will inevitably control the entire planet. But I would never show them the fucking hypno rectangle. I mean, dude.

• 1:51:56Theo Von?

  It's giving that dude a lot. Is there any more to it or that's it?

• 1:51:59Speaker 01

  It's a long answer to a simple question.

• 1:52:01Theo Von?

  Right.

• 1:52:02Speaker 01

  He could just be like, yeah, I put them on it all the time.

• 1:52:04Speaker 04

  There's a lot of socialization.

• 1:52:05Speaker 01

  They have their own accounts.

• 1:52:06Speaker 04

  Like happens online at this point. Like people need to get used to the norms and stuff around that. So I mean, they're not on, they're still too young to be using like social media, but they have messenger kids. You know, we, we make it so that they can video chat and chat with their friends. You know, we'll, we'll obviously monitor to make sure that they're, that they're just connecting with the people who, who we think that they should. But like, I think it's actually good. I think people need to kind of grow up. I don't need to is strong, but I, I think is, I think it's good if you have an engaged parent and they, and as a child you learn up, you, you kind of grow up learning how to use a bunch of this stuff.

• 1:52:49Speaker 04

  So I think that's, and that's all good. I want the kids, to the extent that they're interested in it, to learn how to code, learn how to create stuff, whether it's in like Horizon or VR tools, or they play, you know, Roblox and Minecraft.

• 1:53:02Speaker 01

  Roblox? Didn't he just say fucking play Roblox? Look up, look up Roblox, like look up Roblox pedophilia.

• 1:53:12Theo Von?

  Oh, is that where they're doing it now?

• 1:53:13Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 1:53:15Theo Von?

  Dude, this is like the new rest areas. Remember rest areas?

• 1:53:17Speaker 01

  Look at Roblox. Yes. Roblox is currently the subject of heavy scrutiny, including investigations, lawsuits from US state attorneys, local governments, and reports highlighting that predators exploit its massive demographic of young users for grooming and sexual exploitation.

• 1:53:32Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:32Speaker 01

  Don't put your fucking kids on Roblox. Or like, man, I'm telling you, like, people need to understand that, dude, do you remember, like, did you ever like dig around for your dad's porn?

• 1:53:45Theo Von?

  I remember digging in a hole. Somebody said there was porn somewhere like not far from us and we dug, dude, we dug. As kids, we probably dug fucking 11 feet into the dirt.

• 1:53:55Speaker 01

  A pirate buried his porn out there. That's what a black beard is. Dude, you just remember the-

• 1:54:01Theo Von?

  We did find like a CPAP machine, though. But go on, dude.

• 1:54:05Speaker 01

  My point is, we all know that kids, when they know, like, just based on like the experience of anybody who grew up in the 80s at least, or the 90s.

• 1:54:15Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:15Speaker 01

  You would find your dad's porn.

• 1:54:17Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:17Speaker 01

  He could put that shit like in a sewer. He could put that stuff, he could like-

• 1:54:21Theo Von?

  He could keep it under his hat.

• 1:54:22Speaker 01

  You would get it.

• 1:54:23Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:23Speaker 01

  So, the, like, the idea that Zuckerberg's throwing out there, which is like, you can like monitor your kids, number one. Dude, are you fucking kidding? A lot of people don't have time to do that. They, and they don't understand this tech could be really dangerous for children. They don't have time to monitor. Number two, the fact that he's recommending Roblox, which as you just pulled up, is currently being investigated right now, because is, dude-

• 1:54:50Theo Von?

  That's crazy.

• 1:54:51Speaker 01

  He just told everyone watching your show, he's like, put your kids on Roblox. Like, you know how fucked up that is? I don't think he, I don't think he intended to do that.

• 1:55:00Theo Von?

  Well, it was a past episode. It was probably one years ago.

• 1:55:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:55:02Theo Von?

  But still, I think if, I don't know, do they know that pedophiles is going on on there? Like, they have to know what's going on, dude. And for years, there wasn't even a blockage, I don't think, between adults and kids messaging each other, which would be the first fucking thing. So, part of me starts to question, do some of these tech lords, do they want pedophilia to be a thing that exists in our universe?

• 1:55:26Speaker 01

  I mean, let me answer that question. I, this is the deal. If you're making-

• 1:55:31Theo Von?

  We need to ask a kid.

• 1:55:32Speaker 01

  If you're making a, a tech, a plat, like, how much- Is money worth? In other words, let's just say you Theo Von invented an app and you found out that somehow children were being abused through your app. You know what you do?

• 1:55:51Theo Von?

  Shut it down.

• 1:55:52Speaker 01

  Shut it the fuck down.

• 1:55:54Theo Von?

  And apologize.

• 1:55:55Speaker 01

  On that day and reparations. Give them that's what you do. You don't keep something going that allows children to be abused. The question is, how much? How, how much is your mansion worth to you?

• 1:56:13Theo Von?

  Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing Duncan, I agree with you. But people keep saying it's about money. It's not about money anymore. It couldn't be about money. If you have a lot of money, it's not about money anymore. It becomes about the next currency. So other currencies are power. And then some of the currencies, it's like you get to be the king and then the king turns into a, I think after king is a devil.

• 1:56:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:56:41Theo Von?

  I think it's right on the other side of being a king is being a devil. Because there's, there's, you know what I'm saying? Like it's like everything's just a circle. So if you're at the, if you're a king, then right after it is devil.

• 1:56:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you just have to deal with the fact that the technology you create is being used to distribute child pornography and is hurting children. And then whether you, the rest of your life should be spent stopping that from happening, not getting taken to court to make that happen. You should just stop it because.

• 1:57:09Theo Von?

  It makes me question these guys a lot, dude.

• 1:57:11Speaker 01

  Well, you know, human sacrifice, especially the sacrifice of children is an age old practice. And just because like the energy is being extracted from children using a, a brand new technology doesn't change the fact that the, this technology is harming children.

• 1:57:29Theo Von?

  And we're not saying that Facebook is doing that, but we're, he just saying that Roblox has accusations about that and that it's obvious that, uh.

• 1:57:36Speaker 01

  I mean, you can look, I mean, again, I don't.

• 1:57:39Theo Von?

  There have been probably instances of adults commandeering children sexually on Facebook.

• 1:57:44Speaker 01

  Obviously I can't say with the authority. Of some of the people doing the investigations, whether or what's happening. But I will say that if you don't think that social media and online games is being used by predators to fuck with your kids, you are a dipshit. You're out of your mind. What are you fucking doing? And also, might I just add, and I know we're supposed to lighten things up. When you're posting pictures of your fucking kids.

• 1:58:13Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:13Speaker 01

  In bathing suits.

• 1:58:15Theo Von?

  In bathing suits or no shirt.

• 1:58:17Speaker 01

  And you look and you can look at who's favoriting those pictures. If 60% of those are like dudes in their 40s.

• 1:58:25Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 1:58:25Speaker 01

  What are you doing? What are you doing?

• 1:58:28Theo Von?

  Well, that's when you start to realize that we like, there's this vortex that you start to get manipulated by. And that we're being manipulated. It's like watching a belly dancer dance. And next thing you know, you've given her all your money. And after you've given her all your money, you'll give her your kids. You'll give her your organs. You'll give her your offspring. You'll give her whatever it is. And you don't even notice you're giving anymore. You're not even getting anything out of it anymore. You were just tricked into giving everything all away.

• 1:58:54Speaker 01

  That's right, dude. You said it. Praise the Lord. Throw your fucking phones in a, oh yeah, this is great. Let's watch this. This will lighten things up. It's hippo shitting on animals.

• 1:59:03Theo Von?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:59:05Speaker 01

  I mean, we all, we all, like, if we didn't.

• 1:59:07Theo Von?

  Ooh.

• 1:59:09Speaker 01

  It's not, I don't think that's real.

• 1:59:11Theo Von?

  And look, dude, and they'll probably, they'll accuse the animal of doing blackface or whatever.

• 1:59:14Speaker 01

  It's AI though, right? That's not real.

• 1:59:16Theo Von?

  I don't know, but this is the kind of stuff that just breaks my heart.

• 1:59:19Speaker 01

  Cause he's poses, like he sits like he wanted to get shit on. Like, it's not real, right? It breaks your heart.

• 1:59:25Theo Von?

  It looks real. He's pissed. Bro, and that cheat is pregnant, bro. He's probably like, I know where to get some lunch and he's full of that old.

• 1:59:31Speaker 01

  It's gotta be fake. And this is a whole genre of hippo shitting on Jaguars and Tigers.

• 1:59:38Theo Von?

  Don't come on my back and tell me it's raining, brother.

• 1:59:40Speaker 01

  Why did he sit there? Like, why? It's like.

• 1:59:42Theo Von?

  Because it's the old, hey, let's go get some lunch. I'm gonna shit on your trick. Okay? That's the only thing, bro.

• 1:59:47Speaker 01

  That old classic.

• 1:59:49Theo Von?

  Um, what else do we have? What other AI things are out there? There's some other AI things that were fake? Or were there other AI things in the news?

• 1:59:57Theo Von?

  Or what else could we talk about? Is there something else on your mind you want to talk about?

• 1:59:59Speaker 01

  On my mind?

• 2:00:00Theo Von?

  Yeah.

• 2:00:00Speaker 01

  Right now? Um, yeah, man.

• 2:00:03Theo Von?

  Do you feel hope as a parent? That's a question. Is it okay if I ask you that? Do you feel hope as a parent, knowing, seeing a lot of these open vortexes of the devil that are operating around us? And how we are being like summoned to dance for them? Like the brooms in Fantasia like, but do you? And, and none of this is accusatory. Like I have the same stuff. I'm like, you know, I try to battle it and it's probably easier because I have less responsibilities than you do as a parent. But it's like, um, we're all fighting this thing, you know?

• 2:00:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I, I I will never stop loving existence. And I have, I know that people are good. In Buddhism, it's called fundamental goodness. That underneath the, the fear is goodness. And when you're around a baby, when you're around your kids, you get to see that. You get to see a brand new human before the, the windshield gets like covered in splattered fear bugs that begin to define their personality. And as a parent, you can't keep those bugs from splattering on the windshield. That's gonna, that's gonna happen.

• 2:01:11Speaker 01

  But you also can like, maybe you can at least help them understand that love is eternal. They, that love is eternal, that we're, we're embraced by the universe, that benevolence, kindness, all the things that are taught in Christianity and many of the world religions. These ways of being will, are not affected by technology, by AI, by all of the things that inevitably are coming down the line. This, this way, the actual term for Hinduism I've heard is called Sannatandarm. It means the eternal way or the eternal path. This path, it doesn't fucking matter if there's cyborgs walking down the path. It doesn't matter.

• 2:01:57Speaker 01

  It doesn't matter. And I think that's the most important thing to remember is that this, what, what we were today, we're calling the Satan. Satan is, depends on us building up that energy.

• 2:02:11Speaker 01

  In, in, making it big, scary. This is described as like, it's the monster under the bed. It's darkness. Darkness is all you have to do is flip on the light.

• 2:02:21Theo Von?

  Amen.

• 2:02:22Speaker 01

  Gone. Instantly gone. And, and so the more I think we focus on that darkness and all of its complexity, and all of its seeming sophistication, and all of its tricks, and deviousness, and deception, the more powerful it becomes. But the moment you just turn into the present moment.

• 2:02:40Theo Von?

  Right.

• 2:02:41Speaker 01

  And, and your own heart, and the people you love, it's like a light turns on.

• 2:02:46Theo Von?

  Well, I think we need astronauts too, sometimes to go into the darkness, man. We need astronauts to go in there and find the switches too. You know, I think sometimes we need that. I think sometimes as a, like, we, it does feel sometimes like we are too, like, there's like, in, you know, a lot of times in Christianity, they talk about acceptance a lot, and acceptance and acceptance and, you know, and, and a lot of religions, they talk about acceptance.

• 2:03:04Speaker 01

  Surrender.

• 2:03:05Theo Von?

  Yes. And it's like, you can do that in some ways, but also part of you is like,

• 2:03:13Theo Von?

  but when do you like, really stand, you know what I'm saying? When do we stand up? Cause we're creatures with legs.

• 2:03:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03:21Theo Von?

  You know, when do we stand up and, um,

• 2:03:26Theo Von?

  and not just accept everything? And maybe that's the phase that we're in now. And then part of me, like, I was talking to my friend Curtis the other day, and like, we talk about religion a lot and things like that, and it's, and, um, and he was saying that it doesn't really matter if you win here in the world, right? If the world wins, if we win as a society here, it matters in the, in the afterlife, in the next realm, in like, you know what I'm saying? Like, this is just a practice ground for your spirit, like to see how you operate a spirit. It's almost like, like, uh, when you did like school driving or whatever, you know? And there was some guy who was like, obviously a pedophile usually, who would get to teach how to drive, cause they wouldn't let him coach him, where they took away his whistle. And so he's fucking sitting there, just squeezing your thigh.

• 2:04:09Theo Von?

  But dude, he's in there squeezing your thigh. He's like, if I squeeze your left thigh, it means turn left. If I squeeze your right thigh. And I'm like, why?

• 2:04:17Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck dude.

• 2:04:18Theo Von?

  Why are you touching me, dude? So I was just going like in circles, dude. This motherfucker was just massaging me or whatever.

• 2:04:23Speaker 01

  You just fucked me up, man.

• 2:04:24Theo Von?

  But it's just like, yeah, but it's like, is, or do you think it ma-? Cause sometimes I care too much. I feel like if we win here as a people, as opposed to like, if ah, if my like, as a, as opposed to like, be- best curing the meat of my soul for the next, uh, like refrigerator or meal. Or charcuterie board of existence. Does that make sense?

• 2:04:48Speaker 01

  Charcuterie board of existence. It's very poetic. I know what you mean. I, I just think, you know, the, the, the move is, you look at this thing, and now you're worrying about literally all of humanity. How do I fix all of humanity? It's, that's a very anxious.

• 2:05:07Theo Von?

  Right. It's an anxious place.

• 2:05:09Speaker 01

  It's, but instead of-

• 2:05:10Theo Von?

  It's not fair to you. It's not fair to us.

• 2:05:11Speaker 01

  You can't. It's not your job. And, and I, I think that doesn't mean you should be some kind of impotent, uh, pseudo-spiritual person who isn't actively trying to make the world better. But since you're the first part of the world you encounter, how much time are you spending seeing if you can reduce your own fear and anxiety and increase your ability to have compassion and love for the people that you encounter throughout the day? And, you know, if enough of us do that, and that is not easy, by the way.

• 2:05:49Theo Von?

  Right. But it's incremental. You don't have to do it all in one day, but you get to do it small things.

• 2:05:52Speaker 01

  And you never know. I mean, it's, yeah, I think if we're going to use the Bible as a reference for the conversation, didn't, doesn't the story go when Jesus sent out the disciples? He said, "Don't worry about what you're going to say. I will speak through you. And if your message is not accepted, leave and knock the dust from your feet," which is really just saying, stay in the present moment. Trust, trust. Don't let this darkness trick you into getting all freaked out and angry. Cause when you're angry, you'll say angry words. But you know, the, this is a terrible way to ruin whatever the fuck I'm saying.

• 2:06:30Speaker 01

  Have you ever gotten in an argument on MDMA? Have you ever said a single shitty thing to someone when you're on ecstasy? Now, this is, I think, a way, there's, might be a way. I'm not saying be on ecstasy all the time, but imagine if somehow you could cultivate that part of yourself that shows up on a nice MDMA tab. If you could cultivate that. In Buddhism, that's called bodhicitta, and it's the awakened heart. If you could cultivate that, then whatever came out of your mouth, whatever you did, theoretically, would be much better than what you do when you're angry, freaked out, scared and pissed off.

• 2:07:10Speaker 01

  So maybe the first step is to take more ecstasy, which brings me to a plug for my new business, Trussell MDMA. Go to Trussell. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

• 2:07:23Theo Von?

  Trussell MDMA church wafers, too. That would be the best, dude.

• 2:07:26Speaker 01

  No, I just feel like, you know, the idea is like, as much as you can cultivate compassion in your own heart and see what happens.

• 2:07:34Theo Von?

  The best thing I noticed, too, I just go on a walk with a friend. When Saul was walking, dude, when Saul was walking, was he walking alone out there?

• 2:07:41Speaker 01

  That's a great question. I don't know.

• 2:07:43Theo Von?

  Can you look that up? When Saul was on the road to, where's it? Damascus?

• 2:07:46Speaker 01

  Damascus.

• 2:07:50Speaker 01

  I'm guessing alone.

• 2:07:52Theo Von?

  No, Saul was.

• 2:07:53Speaker 01

  No, what a girl. This is awesome.

• 2:07:54Theo Von?

  No, Saul was not alone when he was traveling to Damascus. According to the biblical account in Acts 9, he was accompanied by a group of traveling companions who were rendered speechless by the heavenly light and sound.

• 2:08:04Speaker 01

  He all saw.

• 2:08:07Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:08:08Theo Von?

  So, yeah, I think, I don't know, I just, there's nothing I enjoy more these days, bro, than honestly going on a walk with a friend or something like that.

• 2:08:15Speaker 01

  Theo, you seem great.

• 2:08:16Theo Von?

  I do.

• 2:08:17Speaker 01

  You do.

• 2:08:18Theo Von?

  Thanks, man.

• 2:08:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, you see, your energy's really like, you got like, you've got, what's the word? What are they calling it now? Your aura. I don't know what the, my kid the other day, it's so funny when they start saying like kid insults and it's a brutal insult. He was talking about somebody's like their aura is chopped.

• 2:08:34Theo Von?

  Damn.

• 2:08:34Speaker 01

  Have you heard that?

• 2:08:35Theo Von?

  Yeah, someone said that.

• 2:08:36Speaker 01

  Chopped aura. Your aura is not chopped right now, man.

• 2:08:38Theo Von?

  Someone called me chopped onk one time. Someone drove by and called me fat it one month ago.

• 2:08:42Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:08:43Theo Von?

  For no reason, dude.

• 2:08:43Speaker 01

  Where?

• 2:08:44Theo Von?

  Huh?

• 2:08:45Speaker 01

  Where?

• 2:08:45Theo Von?

  Cause I had two bags of fucking shopping clothes.

• 2:08:48Speaker 01

  Are you kidding me?

• 2:08:48Theo Von?

  Yeah, I know I bought a lot, but still I, yeah, yeah, dude, it was just cause I think.

• 2:08:53Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 2:08:53Theo Von?

  I think cause I was like tying my shoe, but I bent over like at the hip, like at the hip instead of like kinda squatted down.

• 2:09:00Speaker 01

  That's fucked up. That's crazy, dude.

• 2:09:03Theo Von?

  I know, that's crazy, dude.

• 2:09:04Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 2:09:05Theo Von?

  Cause I like bent like, like fully, just cause like, yeah, I get it, but it's like, God, just say it, roll the window up and just say it to yourself or whatever.

• 2:09:12Speaker 01

  That's a rare experience for, right? Like, I mean, how often does that happen to you?

• 2:09:18Theo Von?

  Uh, I don't know, dude, but I put, I put, I put stuff out in the world that didn't need to be out there, dude. Dude, when we were kids, we would write, this is horrible to say, and this crazy, crazy way to end this conversation. Thank you for the compliments, dude. I am in a space where I'm trying to ask myself a few more questions instead of just take how I feel. I'm like, what's this feeling trying to show me?

• 2:09:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:09:36Theo Von?

  You know, like, okay, if I'm angry, why, like, okay, what do, what do, what do I get by being angry right now? I'm just trying to question a little bit more about what's going on. But when I, yeah, dude, when I, we used to do this, it was kinda messed up. We would like write the, and we might take this out. We used to write the N word on a piece of paper, right? To, to get it out of our system. And we would put it into a bottle, like a message in a bottle. And then we'd throw them in this river, not far from our house, throw them off this bridge off into this, in, in, into this river. And then the craziest part was though, dude, like a couple of months later, we're over at the park, which is like a mile from where we're throwing them off, dude. We see a dad and his kid find, pick up a fucking, pick up one of these bottles and he, the kid opens it up.

• 2:10:18Speaker 01

  That's so sad.

• 2:10:19Theo Von?

  And the dad's like, what does it say? And we're just like, oh, bro, we gotta find a better way to dispose of these.

• 2:10:25Speaker 01

  There's a racist dude shipwrecked around here.

• 2:10:32Theo Von?

  So dude, we live and learn, man.

• 2:10:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:10:35Theo Von?

  That's what we do. Um, you can live and learn, uh, in one of the best possible ways. Dude, this is honestly the most fun conversation I've probably had in a year and a half.

• 2:10:42Speaker 01

  Oh, that means the world to me, Theo.

• 2:10:45Theo Von?

  That's the truth.

• 2:10:45Speaker 01

  I love talking with you, man. It's such a joy. Thanks for having me on the show.

• 2:10:49Theo Von?

  It's the truth. You bet, dude. I'm gonna come on Mystery Boys. I wanna go down a rabbit hole. So we gotta, we gotta procure a nice one.

• 2:10:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 2:10:55Theo Von?

  And, uh, you can check out Mystery Boys, um, with the good. We know he works for good, Kurt Metzger.

• 2:11:02Speaker 01

  I would argue saintly.

• 2:11:03Theo Von?

  Okay.

• 2:11:04Speaker 01

  Saintly.

• 2:11:05Theo Von?

  Saint Metzger, dude.

• 2:11:06Speaker 01

  Saint Metzger, yeah.

• 2:11:07Theo Von?

  I'll vote for it.

• 2:11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:11:08Theo Von?

  Um, Duncan Trussell, thanks so much, bro.

• 2:11:10Speaker 01

  Thanks for having me on. I really appreciate it, Theo.

• 2:11:12Theo Von?

  Yeah, man.

• 2:11:13Speaker 01

  Thanks for watching, you guys.