Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support the P*nty Boyz @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Yo0o0o. Whats gudd!? Hope you're all having a good start to your day. Another fambly ep this week with Nasty Nathan. We had ourselves some hot castin' this week tbqh. We talk blobz and some other things. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The shoes are.

• 0:02Speaker 01

  They're my most comfortable pair of shoes.

• 0:04Speaker 00

  Well, these shoes are sick.

• 0:06Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  The me's prance around those underarm shoes.

• 0:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man, modelo sings.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Show these people your underarm skills.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  He did get the best choice.

• 0:13Matt McCusker?

  Ooh. Flexible, bro. I've never seen you kick that.

• 0:16Speaker 00

  Little Jack Black. Little Jack actually black.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  I'll be honest, I would have bet a million dollars you couldn't have done that many kicks in a row.

• 0:25Speaker 00

  That was a lot.

• 0:25Matt McCusker?

  Kung fu, that was a kung fu panda.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  There he is.

• 0:29Matt McCusker?

  Jack Black.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  I wish I wasn't so goddamn sleepy.

• 0:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  I'm gonna fucking workout this morning.

• 0:37Matt McCusker?

  I was yesterday, man. I woke up.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  Oh, yesterday I did. Yesterday I played video games.

• 0:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  It was pathetic, that.

• 0:44Matt McCusker?

  Did that thing where I opened my eyes and tried to gauge the hangover before I woke up. And I felt all right. I was just hot. I like woke up as a thousand degrees. I thought it was 7 a.m. I reached over to like, like, see what time it is. I always see if Brittany's in bed. I'm like, all right, it's probably like 7. Didn't feel her and I patted and it was just a pillow on. I'm like, there she is. And I laid there and I checked my phone like 10 minutes later. It was fucking 10:30. I was like, holy.

• 1:04Speaker 00

  Damn. Oh, yeah, we were up late, though.

• 1:07Matt McCusker?

  We were up super late.

• 1:07Speaker 00

  We got home late, yeah.

• 1:09Matt McCusker?

  We were up super late. Yeah, I was, I was dragging.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  That's an early day. 10:30?

• 1:13Matt McCusker?

  That was crazy. That was decadent, dude. Usually it's 6:30, 7:00.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Oh, for me.

• 1:19Matt McCusker?

  I try to get up before my kids.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  It's 11. It's 11 is like I'm, I did it. I got up at a decent hour.

• 1:24Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  I feel like the older I'm getting, the, I'm just waking up early, even if.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Even if you're early?

• 1:30Speaker 00

  Even if it's a late night, yeah.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  You think it's about time? Like you're like, I'm running out of time?

• 1:34Speaker 00

  I'm not sure. No, no. It's not like it's a conscious decision.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  It's just your body.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  I just keep waking up early, yeah.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  That's the opposite for me. I'm waking up later.

• 1:41Speaker 00

  Really?

• 1:41Speaker 01

  I have to set, no, I have to set 11 a.m. alarms.

• 1:44Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 1:45Speaker 01

  To be up. Like, if not, I'll just sleep.

• 1:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's nice. Fuck it. Fuck it. Sleep.

• 1:51Matt McCusker?

  That is nice. No, I'm, I just get, my kids wake up at like 7 a.m. So it's either I get up before them or I get woken up to just like a kid through a monitor like, nah. It's like, for real, the worst fucking way to wake up. Because you have to get, you have to get out of bed and like.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  And go to action.

• 2:06Matt McCusker?

  Right away. So if you get up before them, you like chill, relax.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:12Matt McCusker?

  Drink my coffee and then it's like you'll hear them wake up. You're like, sweet.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Is dad energy a thing? Like dad energy, like you hear it and you're like, alright, it kind of kicks you in the gear or is it just?

• 2:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you pop, yeah, you pop up because the only alternative is like, they're fine. And then you wait and wait and wait and that could turn into just like, rest of your life really, if you want to.

• 2:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can just leave. You go, you know what? They're fucking fine. A lot of people don't have dads. They'll be alright.

• 2:39Matt McCusker?

  Anything that'll help them.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  A boy named Sue.

• 2:45Speaker 00

  Made you stronger.

• 2:50Matt McCusker?

  I've been looking at schools. We finally found one. Dude, it's such a fucking insane process now to find like schools for kids.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:59Matt McCusker?

  Since we went, we like looked at it.

• 3:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:01Matt McCusker?

  It's insane. We looked at a bunch of schools. And then what a lot of them do, I noticed, they like card out their eighth graders as like.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  Give you a look, say, this is what we do.

• 3:09Matt McCusker?

  Check these kids out. But then they come out and they're like fucking robots, dude. These kids come out and they're like, uh, my passion is, and it's like, what the, who's back there hitting you with fucking bamboo sticks?

• 3:19Matt McCusker?

  When I was in eighth grade, if they pull me out in front of parents, like, what do you like about school? I'd been like, I don't know. No, zero eye contact. Yeah.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  Like recess.

• 3:26Matt McCusker?

  Recess, I don't know if I was math socks.

• 3:29Matt McCusker?

  These kids are coming out like they're running for fucking president. They're like, well, I'm actually going to a very, blah, blah, blah. It's like, what the fuck?

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Now, this is speaking as not a dad at all, but I kind of like that. Because that's what I felt like, wasn't that always that kind of the thing is like America was falling off because we were, our kids weren't as disciplined as other countries?

• 3:47Matt McCusker?

  These kids are so smart. They come out and they're like little mini adults. They're like mature. It's really weird.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  I kind of would like to have had that for myself. I feel like a dumbass a lot and. To just not have that as part of my life will be beautiful.

• 4:00Matt McCusker?

  Just to come out and be like, I'm very deeply, I'm actually working with my community right now.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  I never really thought if you were dumb or not. You don't seem very dumb.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  I'm not completely dumb, but I'm not.

• 4:09Matt McCusker?

  C student energy for sure.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  You said C student.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  I think the whole, I think the whole crew holds that down.

• 4:14Matt McCusker?

  C D. Yeah, true.

• 4:15Speaker 01

  I was the smartest of my, my childhood crew. Everybody got left back senior year except me.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  You're, all your boys got left back?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  My boys were super seniors and I.

• 4:23Matt McCusker?

  You got held back senior year?

• 4:25Speaker 01

  I came back from prom too though.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  You came back from prom after?

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Back for a second prom. I was like, I'm back, fellas.

• 4:31Speaker 00

  Hell, yeah.

• 4:32Matt McCusker?

  That's swag.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Damn. That is nice.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, they all.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  The whole squad got held back, huh?

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Whole squad.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  Was this Redding Central Catholic or where'd you go?

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Uh, Redding, Redding High School and uh, it was, well, it was like three.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  That's pretty fucking standard at Redding High School.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  That, or you just give up and just don't even graduate. A lot of people get that senior year left back and just go, ah. I did my four years.

• 4:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. I'm done. I don't give a fuck what they said. I'm done.

• 4:57Speaker 00

  Everybody did. I feel like the same grade again must be nice.

• 5:00Matt McCusker?

  Getting held back senior year is insane.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  Fuck. Changes your whole life.

• 5:05Matt McCusker?

  I mean, that's super senioritis. Yeah, it does. Although it would be senior year, no one I know now, I would be a super senior. Senior year is fucking sick.

• 5:14Speaker 00

  I was just gonna be racist.

• 5:18Speaker 00

  I just want you guys to know.

• 5:19Matt McCusker?

  Good on you. Good on you.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  I'm just kinda, I caught myself.

• 5:21Matt McCusker?

  Good on you. Yeah, for real.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  That's important. You acknowledge it. You go, it'd be funny to just say black people have senioritis. I'm not gonna do that.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Or just excuse me.

• 5:31Speaker 00

  Pardon me. I was just being racist in my head.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  They, they made that second year look like the most fun. I for real felt.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  They were having fun.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  They were having so much.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  Way better than fucking real life.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was, I was, I went to community college after that. I went to Redding area community college and it was just boring and.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  You went to Rack?

• 5:46Speaker 01

  I went to Rack. I went to Rack and they were just having the most fun.

• 5:50Speaker 00

  I paid my dues at Hack.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  At Hack?

• 5:52Speaker 00

  I was a hack hawk.

• 5:54Speaker 00

  Paid my dues. I did my semester at Hack.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  I'm still doing it.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  That was, that was actually kinda where I'd turn my life around as a, a student.

• 6:03Matt McCusker?

  Community college?

• 6:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, after I had failed out at Elon.

• 6:06Matt McCusker?

  You also, you'll feel like a superstar going to community college. If you go to college and go back, you're just like.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  Everybody here's dumb as fuck. And then it was like, alright, it's time to stop getting. Failing.

• 6:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I, I was at Drexel.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  I gotta go to Westchester. I gotta get my grades up to get into Westchester.

• 6:22Matt McCusker?

  True. Dude, I was at Drexel, like, dude, school's so dumb. What's the point of this? And I worked, I was with like the labor union with my, like, working for my dad. So I had to sign up to the labor's union to work for him. So like the union didn't say anything. And I was like, college is so pointless. And I was like chilling with like laborers and I would talk to them and I'm like, I think college worked on me a little bit.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:44Matt McCusker?

  Stay with, read the paper. And I'd be like, yeah, but like, who, you gotta think like who wrote that paper? They all have an agenda. They just look at me and be like, dude, it's in the paper. Like, alright, man, fucking, this is before Donald Trump busted the fake news. People would read the paper and be like, well, that's what happened.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's that.

• 7:02Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 7:02Speaker 00

  I worked in that factory and I realized.

• 7:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  It was time.

• 7:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, did that, yeah, definitely.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  College helps. There's a bunch of guys that were illiterate.

• 7:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  Like, fully illiterate. They'd be like, I can't read that.

• 7:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it turns out grade school kinda helped me a little bit too. Dude, the, dude, some of the schools though are still fucking wilding out. We went to this one school. We really wanted, I really wanted my daughter to go there. And dude, we had a meeting, like a parent interview, whatever. And they were like, well, we do a reenactment in the, I think, third or fourth grade, where we reenact the taking of the land from Mexico. We use the third graders to reenact this. And it was just like, and I'm sitting there the whole time. I told Brittany going in, I'm like, they're gonna probably say a bunch of dumb bullshit, just, just go along with it. I just like this. Thank God we, we didn't get in. But we were, we were in the thing. It was like, the lady was talking about people of color and Brittany's like, like, I didn't see any. And she's like, she mentioned Asians and Brittany goes, son of people of color.

• 7:58Matt McCusker?

  Like, held her leg under the table and showed up.

• 8:00Speaker 00

  Oh, yes, dude, it's so nice.

• 8:02Matt McCusker?

  It was kind of a beast. It was beast.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  So nice.

• 8:04Matt McCusker?

  It was beast. The lady claimed it too.

• 8:05Speaker 00

  Black wife card is so nice.

• 8:07Matt McCusker?

  It was so funny. Dude, I was dying. And the lady tried to claim it herself, bro. I mean, same as me, bro. And I'm like, sitting there like, my God.

• 8:17Speaker 00

  It's crazy. They're gonna do the reenactment of America taking Mexico?

• 8:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude. With, with fucking fourth graders, dude.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:23Matt McCusker?

  That's fucking nuts. It's also like, if you're gonna read it, like, why that one? Why not like? That's kind of weird.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  Aren't they celebrating it?

• 8:32Matt McCusker?

  No, no.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  Cause then I could see, yeah? Fuck yeah, the Alamo ruled, dude.

• 8:39Speaker 00

  What a bunch of fucking pussies.

• 8:41Matt McCusker?

  Well, then it's like, why not go even further back in time? Why stop there?

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's see how Mexico got that land.

• 8:45Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, how did they? How did they?

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Uh, Spanish came and cut everyone's fucking heads off.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  That's cause they were cutting everybody's heads off already. Yeah, they weren't like-

• 8:56Matt McCusker?

  It was distasteful, it's like, don't do that with fucking French.

• 8:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, Mexico, they were not very chill.

• 9:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. So, yeah, it was just like-

• 9:03Speaker 00

  You should do a play of the Comanche.

• 9:05Matt McCusker?

  The what?

• 9:05Speaker 00

  You should do a play where the kids of the Comanche.

• 9:07Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  And they abduct white settlers and gang rape them and disembowel them in front of their families.

• 9:13Matt McCusker?

  That'd be pretty fun. Fake scalpings?

• 9:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:16Matt McCusker?

  That'd be nice.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Holding up fake little kids.

• 9:18Matt McCusker?

  Get like real Hollywood blood packets? That might be, yeah. I can see that, stepping up like kids productions. We're doing Reservoir Dogs. Yeah, we dodged a bullet, I was, I was happy that, uh, Brittany was yapping, cause that was, looking back on it, I was like, that was such a sick move.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Did y'all ever do any of those things when you were kids, like, kids plays?

• 9:39Matt McCusker?

  Nah, I, I held it down, I was like, plays are-

• 9:41Speaker 00

  I was part of the tableau in the Christmas play.

• 9:44Matt McCusker?

  What's a tableau?

• 9:45Speaker 00

  Tableau was for all the kids who sucked. That weren't part of the real play, that just went up and did a nativity scene.

• 9:51Matt McCusker?

  Oh, that's sick.

• 9:51Speaker 00

  My job was to hold a banner behind them and go.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Just shook a banner, dude.

• 9:57Matt McCusker?

  I did stage crew.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  I had to do, uh, I went to campus school for a little bit and I had, we did sister act and-

• 10:04Speaker 00

  You guys did sister act?

• 10:05Speaker 01

  Sister act. And I had to do the rapping part, he come in like joyful, joyful and stuff.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  Oh, man.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  I still kinda remember it, but I-

• 10:13Speaker 00

  Let me hear it.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  I just remember the, it's joyful, joyful, Lord I adore thee, and in my life I put number forty, and I don't remember the rest.

• 10:21Speaker 00

  Oh, that's pretty good.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  It's kinda, yeah, kinda where art.

• 10:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  I kinda, I kinda felt good doing it.

• 10:25Speaker 00

  Did you ever think about being a rapper?

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Obviously.

• 10:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Obviously, obviously.

• 10:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, I had a feeling. I had a feeling, at such a young age.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  You never thought about it?

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Did I ever think about it? Uh-

• 10:37Matt McCusker?

  Not one day.

• 10:38Speaker 00

  I thought about it earlier today.

• 10:42Matt McCusker?

  I was like, what if I could spit?

• 10:46Matt McCusker?

  True, it's like you never know, it's like what if I-

• 10:48Speaker 00

  You never know, I've never even tried, I could, maybe I could spit.

• 10:52Matt McCusker?

  At least in high school, you'd all get high and people would freestyle and stuff, it was sick.

• 10:55Speaker 01

  It's the best.

• 10:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's pretty fun, actually.

• 10:58Speaker 00

  It is.

• 10:59Matt McCusker?

  I knew, I knew it didn't have it in me.

• 11:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:01Matt McCusker?

  My one friend, my one friend would just do Eminem, he'd be like, "That's an Eminem song." And you'd be like, "No."

• 11:07Matt McCusker?

  It's just an Eminem song.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  I just came up with that right now. Two trailer park girls go around the outside, I don't know.

• 11:14Matt McCusker?

  Is that a song? I didn't know that, that's crazy.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  My boy did, he had, he played a smart-

• 11:19Speaker 00

  You guys must have all been rapping the whole time?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Always, but my one boy-

• 11:24Speaker 00

  The guys who got held back in senior year? I got a feeling they thought they had rap careers lined up.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  My homie Dante did, uh, he used to, there was this rapper, Joey Jahad, a Philly dude, he was like underground, he was big, like-

• 11:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  He was about to actually blow and like 50 was about to sign him and then somebody just sucker punched him on the street. There's like a video of him just getting knocked out, just in the middle of the street, ruined his whole-

• 11:45Matt McCusker?

  Really?

• 11:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, Joey Jahad was nice too, but not a lot of people knew him and we were in Rent, so, but he knew him, so he would just battle rap people for money, but he would just use Joey Jahad raps for like a good year, it was, it was nice.

• 11:58Speaker 00

  It was good.

• 11:58Matt McCusker?

  I remember, I'll never forget, I was, I remember I was with this one dude, I was like, just going to my house to like sell weed or whatever, it was a black guy, and my neighbors in West Philly, I actually like knew them, I like worked with the one guy, and they were out in their car, blasting like someone they knew, it was like their family member's demo tape, they're like, "Come listen to this," so like the black guy I was with, and he leaned in the car and he was like, "Yeah, that shit's fucking trash," and then just walked into my house and I was like, "What the fuck? I didn't know you could do that."

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:23Matt McCusker?

  He's like, "Yo, that shit's fucking trash," and then just came in, I was like, "Dude, it's my fucking neighbors, man, why you doing that?" It was a funny thing, and he just like, didn't even, like we came in and he's like, "I would have liked, if I had done that to someone, I'm like, 'Did you see me do that?'" He just was like, "Anyway, so what are we, what is going on here?" And I was like, "Did you just fucking do that to my neighbors? Yo, that shit's fucking trash."

• 12:45Speaker 00

  That's very nice.

• 12:46Matt McCusker?

  It was such a beast move.

• 12:49Speaker 00

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• 12:55Matt McCusker?

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• 13:16Matt McCusker?

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• 13:47Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:47Matt McCusker?

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• 14:27Speaker 00

  Incredible. Did you ever get to do that to somebody with a demo tape? You go, shit's trash?

• 14:32Matt McCusker?

  No, I never, I never had the heart. I always feel bad, like, because sometimes.

• 14:36Speaker 00

  Somebody's trying their best.

• 14:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, somebody's doing it. Even when they're not trying their best, like that, that thing where they used to do in Times Square, just handing you CDs. I used to hate that shit, but it would be like, I can't be, I can't be rude to you.

• 14:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. I would take the CDs.

• 14:51Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I would take them, throw them away as soon as I.

• 14:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:56Matt McCusker?

  Pay like two bucks for it and you're like, I'm pissed I did that.

• 14:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's when they get you. You go, oh, thanks.

• 15:01Matt McCusker?

  They give it to you and you're like, thanks. You're like, you're not gonna give me any money? It's like, I didn't ask for this. I don't want this. I'm helping you.

• 15:06Speaker 00

  You ever see this? I could get this to the right people.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  You ever see the video of 50? He's like just walking with some lady and some dude just like just starts harassing him. Just like, "Listen to my Instagram." And he's just like, "You're never gonna make it." That's like what he says to him. He was like, "If this is how you're going about it, you're done."

• 15:25Speaker 00

  Oh, man.

• 15:27Matt McCusker?

  50's beefing with like Big Meach right now, isn't he?

• 15:31Speaker 00

  He always be...

• 15:31Matt McCusker?

  Someone just like, is it who? One of those guys got out of jail and he's like calling the dude a rat. He's like, "He's a fucking rat."

• 15:38Speaker 01

  He's like beefing with, I can't think of the network. It's like, I wanna say Showtime or something, but it's, he's like suing somebody over a documentary.

• 15:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  He's just like, "I want my money by Monday." He's probably my favorite Instagram.

• 15:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's the man.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  You turn it on, yeah?

• 15:52Speaker 01

  Did I turn on? Nah. I mean, yeah, I mean, I've been kinda like, I don't know, man. It's hard to say anything about, yeah, cuz I love him so much, but he's going so crazy.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  But then you see like, I was watching an academic interview, just like at the beginning of it. He seemed locked in till he was like, "Alright, we're gonna do this, it's gonna look like this."

• 16:13Matt McCusker?

  And he got even more locked in.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  And then as soon, yeah, then he put the outfit on and was like, just fucking went...

• 16:18Speaker 00

  It's so funny. At least he's not really doing anything bad. He's just saying crazy shit.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  Has he done anything bad other than?

• 16:26Matt McCusker?

  I mean, he's like, no, I don't think so right now, but he's also come out and he's like, "I've beat women before, I've done this." The one, the beefing that I will give him, I suck my cousin's dick, obviously.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Suck my cousin's wiener.

• 16:42Matt McCusker?

  But the one thing that was, I will give him is when Iggy Azalea came out being like, "Kanye used to say, tell me, he would take me aside and tell me he like jerks off my pictures." And he retweeted it and just said, "True."

• 16:55Speaker 01

  Like, alright, that's kinda sick.

• 16:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 16:58Matt McCusker?

  I wonder, I wonder if he'll like, I feel like he's got another era of like a different thing in him. I think he's gonna drop this stuff.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  I kinda think so. I don't think this is gonna be the last thing we know.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  We're definitely not gonna, this is, there's no way he's going away.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  He's just never gonna go away. He's gonna be part of our life. We're gonna be, I don't think he's gonna slow down on the tweets. We're gonna get these daily updates. Every day for the next thirty years.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  You think it's gonna get darker than I sucked my cousin when I was young?

• 17:22Matt McCusker?

  I don't think it can.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  That's as dark as it can.

• 17:24Matt McCusker?

  I don't think it can.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's as low as it goes.

• 17:26Matt McCusker?

  I wonder, I was like, is this some, I've said this before, is this like, is he on just another level of like, performance art where it's like, he's expanding just the boundaries of all this weird stuff of like, KKK, sucking your cousin's dick?

• 17:38Speaker 00

  Gay incest, he hit a little black lotus.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  He did it.

• 17:46Speaker 00

  He hit the true black lotus.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  You think he was just loved so much, he was like, he just wants to feel hated? Well, nah, after the Taylor, I guess Taylor Swift stuff, he was hated a little bit.

• 17:58Matt McCusker?

  He's been an Nazi for a while. Yeah, dude, I don't know, I don't, I can't even wrap my head around, like, why you would do that or what, but again, it could just be he's fucking nuts, man, like.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, he could be having a fucking type of mental break, but, or he could just be the man, who knows?

• 18:16Matt McCusker?

  We'll never know, time will tell, dude. You gotta talk, you gotta give him a hundred years, see what's up. He could go into like a Luke Skywalker phase, if he goes on a misty mountain and goes dark for a while. I mean, it's kind of what he should have done like, five years ago, you know? He should just go misty mountain, but just tweet every day about how he's on the misty mountain.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  He never, when he tweeted that he wasn't a Nazi no more, that did, that lasted for a day, right?

• 18:44Speaker 00

  And then he was like, nah, I'm back.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Oh, no, wait, did he do that? Nah, he just went back, yeah.

• 18:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, it is interesting, like, what the fuck?

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Jonah Hill was just like, the fuck, bro? We talked about this.

• 18:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to coulda, woulda, shoulda, but he could have just fell back and just been the greatest producer, loved around the world.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:06Matt McCusker?

  But he's a billionaire, isn't he, is he, is he a billionaire? That's the one thing I can't wrap my head around, I'm like, you're a billionaire?

• 19:12Speaker 01

  They said he was, then he somehow lost.

• 19:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but then he said he is again now.

• 19:17Matt McCusker?

  He's like, I'm back, he's like, I'm a billionaire again.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Kind of awesome.

• 19:22Matt McCusker?

  So he's a billionaire?

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 19:26Matt McCusker?

  Sick.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  This is crazy. One and a half now.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  I hear you saying Zuckerberg Kanye seems normal for a billionaire. God damn, what was that?

• 19:37Speaker 00

  Why is he dressing like that?

• 19:38Speaker 01

  You know I like the outfit, clean white tee, gold chain.

• 19:42Speaker 00

  If you're a billionaire, you shouldn't be wearing a gold chain.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. But it wasn't a guardy gold chain, it was little.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  He used to be such a humble artist.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Eh, he's doing jujitsu and shit now?

• 19:53Matt McCusker?

  I'm telling you, I do, I think that's like, brand, you, you get guys to like, manage your brand for you.

• 19:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:59Matt McCusker?

  So that's like a full stylist, PR, brand management, like your total self reinvention.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  He should let Kanye be his stylist.

• 20:08Speaker 00

  He should have, he should have worn the fucking black KKK uniform. That would have been awesome.

• 20:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, it is, it is, it, it does suck to have, Zuckerberg's gotta be what, like a couple hundred billion or a hundred billion maybe? One eighty-five billion.

• 20:26Speaker 00

  Hundred eighty-five billion dollars?

• 20:27Matt McCusker?

  Have one eighty-five billion and then be like, I have to be able to figure out cool.

• 20:33Matt McCusker?

  It's like I've cracked.

• 20:33Speaker 00

  There's gotta be an algorithm.

• 20:34Matt McCusker?

  There's gotta be, it's an algo, bro.

• 20:36Speaker 00

  It's gotta be a cool algorithm.

• 20:37Matt McCusker?

  It's an algo, and he's kind of hitting, he is, he's like.

• 20:39Speaker 00

  I'll dress like a black guy.

• 20:42Matt McCusker?

  Like, bro, I figured that out in seventh grade, yeah, I figured that out in seventh grade.

• 20:45Speaker 00

  And then in eighth, and then in eighth grade, you go, it's not cool when I do it.

• 20:52Matt McCusker?

  True. Yeah, you kind of do figure it out.

• 20:55Speaker 00

  Then an older brother goes, you look like a fucking idiot.

• 20:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 20:59Matt McCusker?

  Me, me and my cousin and my bro Phil would just get crushed. We'd go show up at family parties and everyone would be like, what the fuck? My cousin Pat had a Wu-Tang charm. So tight, dude.

• 21:10Speaker 00

  Goes hard.

• 21:10Matt McCusker?

  So icy. I just had the Jesus piece.

• 21:14Speaker 00

  You had Jesus piece in seventh grade?

• 21:16Matt McCusker?

  It was, it was a little smaller. Maybe I just did a, uh, did I have the J? I, I, we all had charms at one point, I'm pretty.

• 21:22Speaker 00

  Charms?

• 21:23Matt McCusker?

  Char, that was a big one. You would go to, yeah, you would go to fucking Sterling Silver or wherever in the mall and you would cop, we would cop our silver chain. I was three small loops, one long loop. My cousin was Cuban links.

• 21:34Speaker 00

  Cuban links is sick.

• 21:36Matt McCusker?

  Cuban links with the Wu-Tang charm was nasty. I gotta remember what my charm was. I'm pretty sure it was just a cross if I know myself.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 21:43Matt McCusker?

  Had the JP and my bro got.

• 21:45Speaker 00

  She got like SpongeBob holding a pistol.

• 21:46Matt McCusker?

  I should have.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  I had, I had a gay one.

• 21:49Matt McCusker?

  What'd you have?

• 21:50Speaker 01

  I've just remembered it now, it was a little dragon. Little dragon.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  You were Cisco?

• 21:57Speaker 01

  In like sixth grade.

• 21:58Speaker 00

  You went with Cisco?

• 21:59Speaker 01

  I didn't know it was Cisco. I just thought it was a cool old dragon. And then I got to school and they were like, you got the Cisco.

• 22:05Speaker 00

  Cisco chain?

• 22:06Speaker 01

  And I couldn't stop wearing it.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  Damn, the Cisco chain sucked.

• 22:10Matt McCusker?

  And that was, that was Thong Song. That was like right.

• 22:13Speaker 00

  That was, yeah.

• 22:14Matt McCusker?

  You went under the dragon.

• 22:15Speaker 00

  You drew hill. That blows, dude.

• 22:18Speaker 01

  I forgot. I forgot.

• 22:20Speaker 00

  I never got a chain.

• 22:21Matt McCusker?

  Never had the chain?

• 22:22Speaker 00

  I couldn't, I never did it.

• 22:23Matt McCusker?

  Oh dude, I was, my friend got caught stealing one from the mall. It was the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. He switched his, took a bigger one. It was like, it was in like seventh grade. There was those silver chains that were like a hundred and thirty-two dollars. Might as well have been a ru, like a six inch ruby.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's crazy.

• 22:38Matt McCusker?

  I was like, dude, you're fucking going for it. And he put it on, walked out. As soon as we stepped out, a guy came out and went, on his shoulder. Me and my cousin were just like, later.

• 22:49Speaker 00

  I would have cried immediately.

• 22:50Matt McCusker?

  Oh dude, he was, he had to sit in the mall security booth until his dad came into the mall to pick him up.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Did he have to do sexual favors to get out?

• 22:56Matt McCusker?

  He probably tried.

• 22:57Speaker 00

  Porn? I've seen that.

• 23:00Matt McCusker?

  I would have done anything to get out of there.

• 23:02Speaker 00

  Done anything to get out of there.

• 23:03Matt McCusker?

  I would have been full casting couch.

• 23:04Speaker 00

  I would have casted out.

• 23:05Matt McCusker?

  I would have got onto the mall security, I would have been in dog.

• 23:09Speaker 00

  I would have initiated it. Yeah, I would have gone to the table and just get it over with, dude.

• 23:12Matt McCusker?

  True, I would have, nasty little power bottom.

• 23:18Matt McCusker?

  Getting caught stealing at the mall would have been the apocalypse.

• 23:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:21Matt McCusker?

  I would have gotten so much fucking trouble.

• 23:22Speaker 00

  Lemmy, you never had a chain?

• 23:25Speaker 04

  No, I never really had chains. Let a chain.

• 23:27Speaker 00

  You could have. God dog, you get that like Italian horn or whatever that thing is?

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Nah, I was a crucifix guy for a little while, but as a youth, I was like a shark tooth, puka shell kid.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  I had an alligator tooth too. I had an alligator tooth.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  Man, maybe Lemar was right. Maybe you are an outdoor white.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  True.

• 23:48Speaker 00

  You were in a tough area for white kids to act black, like North Jersey?

• 23:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I still managed to do it. I managed to do it, but I was like, I went more Rasta when I was coming into my formative years.

• 24:03Speaker 00

  I can see you hitting the Rasta phase.

• 24:04Matt McCusker?

  I had the pooch shells at the beach. I'd hit the boardwalk, try to get numbers.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  This is so sick though.

• 24:08Matt McCusker?

  Pooch shells, sunburnt, beyond recognition. Yeah, the pooch shells were sick.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  I never got the pooch, cause I was jealous.

• 24:17Speaker 00

  I never got the pooch, but I was dark, I was purple. I was sick every night. Every night at the beach, I was so sunburned.

• 24:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you would just, we would get the, we would try to go get numbers from the babes at the beach. That would fall apart, then we would just do horrendous, horrible pranks. The poop dollar was the worst.

• 24:37Speaker 00

  Poop dollar wasn't diabolical.

• 24:38Matt McCusker?

  I will say, sticking the dollar up between the boardwalk cracks, people to grab it and pulling it down, nothing better.

• 24:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's great.

• 24:45Matt McCusker?

  So funny.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  Way to be a poop dollar?

• 24:47Matt McCusker?

  No, you leave the poop dollar, you want them to pick that up, and they go, sweet, and they go, that's fun. But you can also put, you can also put a dollar between the cracks of the boardwalk, technically the promenade, I guess. You can stick it through, and people are like, fuck yeah, and they go to, they put their foot down on it, and then they lift it up and it's gone.

• 25:06Matt McCusker?

  It's so funny. There's a bunch of 12 year olds laughing at you. Well, you have every, you have, you take turns, you wanna watch. Cause boardwalk, you couldn't see underneath, so you get to watch your boy do it, and it was the funniest shit. So funny.

• 25:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's nice. My favorite memories of the beach was just, once we started drinking.

• 25:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 00

  Just getting some fucking bum to buy you and your boys 30 case of fucking Natty Light.

• 25:32Matt McCusker?

  It's the best.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  It was the best. It was the best night of my life.

• 25:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, for real. I, I literally, I'll second that. That's like my, that's why I love the beach so much.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 25:41Matt McCusker?

  My aunts and uncles would just go get after it all day. They'd be done by nine o'clock, they were just destroyed. They'd be in a room, and we would just have a cooler that had beer sitting in it from noon at like 8pm, and we would just devastate. And they'd all wake up and be like. You guys drinking beer last night? Nah.

• 26:01Speaker 00

  Oh, you guys were, you fucking drunk?

• 26:03Matt McCusker?

  They would try to do like the math and there was like, there's no way. The one time we got caught, we were like hiding the beer cans under our bed for some reason. And they, uh, my aunt just like set them out and just wrote a note that said, who drank me? We just saw her.

• 26:17Speaker 00

  My sister did not take the fall for me and my bro one time.

• 26:20Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 26:21Speaker 00

  I tried. Me and my bro drank like a lot of beers.

• 26:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 26:25Speaker 00

  And then my parents were like, what the fuck is this? And we were like, yeah, Sarah came down here, got fucking shitfaced. It's like, yeah, Sarah just sat here and drank like 25 beers. My mom was like, what the fuck, Sarah? And she was like, it was them.

• 26:38Matt McCusker?

  What'd you tell me? He's just there running to the bus.

• 26:42Speaker 00

  Scream, cry, run away.

• 26:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we, I used to get so fucked up at the beer. It was so fun. That was like honestly, one of my fondest memories of like, when you're drinking beer and you're like, you're, you've been inside the house and you step out and it's like, you smell that salt air and you're like kind of hammered.

• 26:57Speaker 00

  It get me going.

• 26:58Matt McCusker?

  Bro's the best.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  Still is.

• 27:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 27:01Speaker 00

  Nothing beats it.

• 27:02Matt McCusker?

  But as dude, as like a fucking 14, 15 year old, it is truly.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  Getting drunk was so sick.

• 27:07Matt McCusker?

  Zero hangover. And you just go out and it'd be two in the morning, the bars were let out and we would just walk past like drunk adults and be like, pussy. Fuck you.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  That is the worst thing that could happen to you walking out of a bar. Just kids going pussy.

• 27:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  Ah, and I can't do nothing.

• 27:24Matt McCusker?

  I just, I was like blazing weed out of a corn cob pipe. Just be like, fucking bitch.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Did you guys get any nice Redding Beach trips?

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 27:32Matt McCusker?

  Nah. I was, you guys were talking about.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  The Redding squad never got to the beach, huh?

• 27:36Speaker 01

  We just would drink hurricanes at the park at 3 a.m. It was.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  That's probably fun.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  It was actually the best.

• 27:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:41Matt McCusker?

  I had a hurricane phase, dude. Three for five hurricanes was an unbeatable deal.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Couldn't beat it.

• 27:47Matt McCusker?

  I would go, I would, I had a guitar case I would keep outside. I'd walk from the bar back to my dorms. They would just sell, in West Philly, they would sell hurricanes to anybody.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:55Matt McCusker?

  And I mean, whatever else probably too. And then like, I would come back, load up a guitar case with as many hurricanes as I could fit and just walk into my dorm like.

• 28:05Matt McCusker?

  So tight. I can never drink the third hurricane. I had people, I knew people that could drink all three and I was like, dude, I got two and I got that half of that third one done. I was just like, I'm at capacity.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  We were kinda doing pu- we were pussy shit. It was just, everybody had one. Everybody had one. One in a blunt.

• 28:23Matt McCusker?

  Not bad.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Four Locos were a bad time.

• 28:27Speaker 00

  Four Locos.

• 28:27Matt McCusker?

  I kinda miss Four Lo- I didn't, I didn't really get hit by the Four Locos.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  I got hit.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, that took, that, that was, that was a bad time for the bros.

• 28:35Matt McCusker?

  I got Sparks.

• 28:36Speaker 00

  Four Loco run was crazy. I had Sparks.

• 28:38Matt McCusker?

  Sparks were sick.

• 28:39Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:40Matt McCusker?

  Sparks were nice, but I never got the Four Locos. I had Nelly, I had, was it Juice? Nelly threw his hat. Yeah, Nelly threw his hat in the ring of energy drink, uh, alcohol and I think it was J O O S E. Drank some juice one night, blacked out. I was down in like, North Carolina somewhere, completely blacked out. It was bad.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  I have a, this is, I hope this isn't a, what does it give you? I just have a Four Loco mem- like, it's not even a memory. I blacked out, but it was on my phone. I, uh, my girl was staying with me, my parents are away. And I went out drinking with my boys and had Four Locos and came home, I guess trying to get some pussy, but also trying to film it. And I just have a, I just had, she was telling me, I was being annoying, trying to fuck her ass, like, and I had this, I just had a video.

• 29:21Matt McCusker?

  Oh no.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  On my phone, of me be, of me being like, come on, let's film it. She's like, no, we're not doing anything. And it's just the phone going down like, alright.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  Is it, is your sex tape?

• 29:34Speaker 01

  You gotta leave the tape.

• 29:35Speaker 00

  Some bright light in her face and then just, oh no. Just a sleepy girl probably going, no, we're not doing anything. Alright.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 29:44Matt McCusker?

  Dang, bro. You were unk before you even knew it. I really, I've been a old soul.

• 29:51Speaker 00

  Jay Jay's gone, you might be the new unk.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  I would look.

• 29:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Hundred million's yours.

• 29:57Matt McCusker?

  Dude, the root turned on Unc big time.

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:00Matt McCusker?

  They wrote a vicious article about, and it was like mean. It was like, not even about his case. They were like, let's all talk about what everyone's thinking. He's just dumb. It was like, damn, he was mean. Like, let's all face it. He's just a fucking dumb ass. It was like, fuck.

• 30:15Speaker 00

  I know that wasn't a honky that wrote that one.

• 30:17Matt McCusker?

  I don't think so.

• 30:18Speaker 00

  It better not be.

• 30:19Matt McCusker?

  Better not be, man. I don't think the root would have allowed a honky to fucking rip it like that.

• 30:23Speaker 00

  No.

• 30:23Matt McCusker?

  I mean, it was, it was funny. They're like, yeah, dude, he's a fucking.

• 30:27Speaker 00

  Let a honky rip it like that. I'm just gonna say it.

• 30:33Speaker 00

  This guy's dumb as hell. Fucking tired of it.

• 30:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they were like, they were just saying like he should have signed NDAs. Like, why does he not have control of his sex tape?

• 30:44Matt McCusker?

  They're bringing up fair points, honestly. They're like, dude, he just got busted for this. What the fu- but also, he's probably got crazy sex, a ton of them.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:51Matt McCusker?

  There are dudes, there's a strain of dude that has to film.

• 30:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:54Matt McCusker?

  Every encounter.

• 30:55Speaker 01

  That was me when I was a kid, I'm not gonna lie.

• 30:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 30:58Speaker 00

  Oh, we ordered coffee.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Which is kinda crazy when you think about it as an adult. I got like a camera from MySpace days and, uh, yeah, I was a big, I mean, they always knew. It was never like.

• 31:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, but you're a, you're a.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've been.

• 31:11Matt McCusker?

  Thank you, sir.

• 31:12Speaker 00

  You're a devil, dude.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was a.

• 31:14Matt McCusker?

  I got you, bro. I got you.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  Come on, Amaze, you can get in there. What happened to your leg, bud?

• 31:17Matt McCusker?

  I think that was just a smash.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  What was wrong with his leg? What was that?

• 31:22Speaker 00

  Amaze, why were you lifting your leg like that?

• 31:28Speaker 00

  Your shoe's untied.

• 31:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. These days, you have to be smart with your money. If you're gonna make a big purchase, you gotta make it count. What's something, what's something you bought?

• 31:45Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I just invested in two bug tanks. I got two bug tanks from National Geographic. So, they got a little magnifying glass on them. I got not one, but two.

• 31:56Speaker 00

  What type of bugs are you gonna put in there?

• 31:57Matt McCusker?

  Uh, right now, we've only gotten some roly-polies. So, you can throw them in there, create their natural habitat, and you can kinda like.

• 32:03Speaker 00

  I'd like to see what roly-polies are up to.

• 32:05Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I got, I catch, I catch like, me and my daughters catch like four roly-polies a day and put them in my garden.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  It's really nice.

• 32:12Matt McCusker?

  It's awesome. I have so many roly-polies. So, yeah, I gotta, the bug tank's nice, man, because otherwise, you gotta carry them in your, you ever try to carry a roly-poly in your hand for like? They fucking, they get, they're, they're escape artists. So, yeah, I got some bug tanks.

• 32:23Speaker 00

  It's been, you know, thirty years.

• 32:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:26Speaker 00

  Since I've tried.

• 32:27Matt McCusker?

  It's just as hard. They scared, so.

• 32:30Speaker 00

  I bought a bug light.

• 32:31Matt McCusker?

  You got a bug light?

• 32:32Speaker 00

  I got a bug zapper out there. That's, you know, kind of the opposite of what you're doing, but hey, just as fun.

• 32:37Matt McCusker?

  You're battling.

• 32:38Speaker 00

  You sit by the, you sit in the hot tub and all of a sudden,

• 32:42Speaker 00

  you go, god damn, that guy, you get some of these big, the bugs out here are so big.

• 32:45Matt McCusker?

  My dad's big home bug.

• 32:46Speaker 00

  They die, they go,

• 32:49Speaker 00

  you hear him hit the fucking bug light and they go, Jesus.

• 32:53Matt McCusker?

  God damn.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  Another great investment, taking care of yourself, you know, you're talking about these bugs.

• 33:00Matt McCusker?

  I didn't even think about that.

• 33:01Speaker 00

  Matt, why don't you think about yourself? Traditional therapy can get crazy expensive though, like between a hundred or two hundred fifty dollars a month or more or something like that. Therapy is worth it though, and you do have options like BetterHelp, the help with the bet on it. It could help you save up to fifty percent per session while getting you the help you need. I've had a lot of sessions where I think about myself.

• 33:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  Take care of myself. I like therapy because I've benefited from therapy.

• 33:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think it's nice. I think it's a nice thing to do.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Everyone could learn something from therapy.

• 33:33Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you could just learn how.

• 33:34Speaker 00

  Because it teaches you positive coping skills.

• 33:35Matt McCusker?

  Like how dumb your family is.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  And set boundaries.

• 33:38Matt McCusker?

  How you're doomed.

• 33:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, basically you get on a Zoom call and you talk about how dumb your family is.

• 33:43Matt McCusker?

  Hey, to break it to you, your family are idiots and you're doomed.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  With BetterHelp, you can work toward being the best version of yourself while saving money. And because everything is online, it's easier to get into a session with your schedule. I love getting online sessions.

• 33:55Matt McCusker?

  Love that.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  With just a few clicks, you can be talking to one of their therapists. You can even switch therapists at any time for any reason. Your well-being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com slash MSSP to get ten percent off your first month. That's betterhelp, H E L P, dot com slash MSSP.

• 34:13Matt McCusker?

  And also you can't use the tokens for those either.

• 34:15Speaker 00

  No tokens.

• 34:16Matt McCusker?

  I tried. You cannot use tokens for the.

• 34:18Speaker 00

  You're stuck with those. You made a mistake. You bought some tokens. But you can talk to BetterHelp, the help with the bet on it.

• 34:24Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  About that. The better help, the help with the bet on it. Get in front of the camera. You know the rules.

• 34:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, getting in from the camera.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  Hey everybody, it's Lemire. May 9th, or May 10th, I'm gonna be at Coastal Creative in Florida. You guys gotta come to that, please. And then also-

• 34:40Speaker 00

  Where's Coastal Creative in Florida?

• 34:42Speaker 04

  Uh, St. Pete, Florida. St. Petersburg, Florida, I think.

• 34:46Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 34:47Speaker 04

  Yeah. I'll be a hoot. And then Optimum Noxious at the Creek in the Cave, May 6th. We have a great lineup.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  Oh, who's on it?

• 34:53Speaker 04

  Nate Marshall.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  And if you're in Philadelphia on May 6th, instead of Austin, Texas, please come to my show at Helium Philadelphia on May 6th, please. Thank you.

• 35:08Speaker 00

  Um- May 31st, go to Fargo- Des Moines, Iowa. May 31st, I'll be at Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa. Go to that. May 31st, Iowa.

• 35:20Matt McCusker?

  This weekend, this very weekend, Cobb's Comedy Club, San Francisco, California. Uh, 5-1 to 5-3. Crest Theater, Sacramento, California. Neptune Theater, Seattle, Washington, and the Hollywood Improv.

• 35:33Speaker 00

  Neptune's awesome.

• 35:34Matt McCusker?

  Neptune should be sick.

• 35:35Speaker 00

  They got some really good shows.

• 35:36Matt McCusker?

  I know, this is the final leg for the taping.

• 35:38Speaker 00

  Those are all great venues.

• 35:40Matt McCusker?

  I'm pumped, man. And also, I'll be doing a live taping at the Ontario, California Improv, coming up. I didn't list it yet, but I'll be-

• 35:48Speaker 00

  It's gonna be great. Nate, I'm excited to see your new hour on tape.

• 35:52Matt McCusker?

  Thank you, I can't wait.

• 35:52Speaker 00

  It's a really good hour.

• 35:53Matt McCusker?

  Thank you, bro.

• 35:54Speaker 00

  And I like it.

• 35:54Matt McCusker?

  Appreciate you, bro.

• 35:55Speaker 00

  Goodbye, everybody.

• 35:56Matt McCusker?

  Bye.

• 35:57Speaker 01

  Oh, bro.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  We're flying.

• 35:59Speaker 01

  Macchiato's hitting.

• 36:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 01

  Dang.

• 36:02Matt McCusker?

  I'm a big espresso guy now.

• 36:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a brina.

• 36:05Matt McCusker?

  Shots of it.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  It's a brina carpenter.

• 36:08Matt McCusker?

  Who's a brina carpenter?

• 36:08Speaker 01

  It's just me, espresso.

• 36:12Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I, uh, you know what I've been thinking about? Did you see the whole thing now about, I think it's kind of already out of the news cycle, but white rappers getting crushed for going country?

• 36:21Speaker 00

  Getting what?

• 36:22Matt McCusker?

  Getting crushed for like, people who were white rappers that now are doing country.

• 36:25Speaker 00

  Oh, like Post?

• 36:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, well, there's a couple others, not just him. Well, it's like, there's Machine Gun Kelly, not country specifically, but him going to punk music. Blah, blah, blah.

• 36:34Speaker 00

  They tried to get, uh-

• 36:35Matt McCusker?

  Post, they were saying something about Post Malone.

• 36:36Speaker 00

  They always try to trash Post.

• 36:37Matt McCusker?

  But it's also like, Beyonce's doing country.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  Pose is the man.

• 36:41Matt McCusker?

  He's a fucking beast. Beyonce is doing country. Which is fine, I don't care, but it's like, why you attacking my fucking?

• 36:48Speaker 00

  But people invented country.

• 36:49Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 36:50Speaker 00

  She can do that.

• 36:51Matt McCusker?

  Fair enough.

• 36:51Speaker 00

  Facts, facts, facts. They definitely invented country.

• 36:54Matt McCusker?

  She coming?

• 36:55Speaker 00

  She's coming. They invented the cowboy hat too. And being a cowboy. And they invented all of it.

• 37:00Speaker 01

  I think, I think nobody should care about any of it.

• 37:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  Hey, agreed.

• 37:04Matt McCusker?

  That's what I'm saying, man.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Wait, is that the point everybody's been trying to make?

• 37:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's definitely what we're trying to make.

• 37:08Matt McCusker?

  It's goddamn music. And it's also like, dude, I'm all about the bag, dude.

• 37:11Speaker 00

  They tried to get Harlow for that.

• 37:13Matt McCusker?

  For what? What'd he do?

• 37:14Speaker 00

  Harlow sang a song at the, in, in a, like, with an orchestra or something like that.

• 37:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 00

  And he's still rapping.

• 37:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but it's like, what the fuck?

• 37:22Speaker 00

  He's not even changing genres. He's still rapping. He just did it at an event. Somebody filmed it and they were like, hate to see white people use our culture to advance themselves and then abandon us. It's like...

• 37:32Matt McCusker?

  My thing is like, okay, what about the bag, dude? It's the bag.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  You gotta respect somebody getting the bag.

• 37:38Matt McCusker?

  Get the bag. That's what I'm saying. I'm all the bag. That was, dude, Jim Jones had the best take on the whole, um, what you wanna call it? Drake suing UMG? They're like, the only thing that's bad for hip-hop, and Jim Jones was on someone's podcast and he was like, bro, he's getting the bag. I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm kinda with that.

• 37:56Speaker 00

  Kevin Izzo hit me with that, cuz I, I've always complained about tweets and opinions. He's like, you're on black Twitter. He's like, he, he also loves that I'm on black Twitter. I'm on black Twitter. And it works.

• 38:08Matt McCusker?

  You might have wrote that article on the root.

• 38:12Speaker 00

  Maybe I did.

• 38:15Matt McCusker?

  What, it works? Get you fired up?

• 38:16Speaker 00

  No, it works. And then I realized, you know, it's not, it's not a unique thought. We've talked about it before, but everybody's algorithm, like, it's like, if I was a black person and saw white Twitter, I'd be like, god damn, these honkies are fucking racist.

• 38:29Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I'm on, I'm on white Twitter, bro.

• 38:33Speaker 01

  I think I got white Twitter cuz of like, everybody I know. And that's what it'll do to you. It'll be like,

• 38:39Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  This, it'll just show you the worst things. I think my algorithm doesn't know though. It shows me black, like, the shit that it will show. White people to get y'all fired up, but it also shows me the shit that gets us fired up, so I can kinda exist in a nice middle ground.

• 38:52Speaker 00

  I got both. I get both.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  It's, that kinda keeps you sane, I think.

• 38:56Matt McCusker?

  I get...

• 38:56Speaker 00

  It helps.

• 38:57Matt McCusker?

  My ex is for real. Like, I open it and it's like, holy fuck.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 39:02Matt McCusker?

  It's like, can we all agree that they're just not good? And I'm like, no. I'm like, yeah, yo!

• 39:07Speaker 00

  Fine, I'll say it.

• 39:09Matt McCusker?

  They do it. It's all those guys like, I'm just gonna say this.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  Nobody said it in the last five seconds. I'll say it.

• 39:16Matt McCusker?

  It's gotta be a business model thing. It's just a business model thing though.

• 39:19Speaker 00

  It is.

• 39:19Matt McCusker?

  It's like, yeah, you get.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  It's the algorithm.

• 39:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:21Speaker 00

  It's designed to make you angry.

• 39:23Matt McCusker?

  It's fucking wild, man.

• 39:24Speaker 00

  Adam Curtis hit that. Fucked me up.

• 39:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:27Speaker 00

  He's gotta get, we gotta get a new Adam Curtis doc.

• 39:29Matt McCusker?

  We do, man.

• 39:30Speaker 00

  It's been a while. I keep looking for him.

• 39:31Matt McCusker?

  Well, that shit about how they, they claim that they can literally watch your like micro expressions as you read stuff and they'll go, yep. And they'll keep feeding you shit like that.

• 39:40Speaker 00

  You watch me go.

• 39:44Matt McCusker?

  Just.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  But is that what they say though? The things watching your, like your camera is watching.

• 39:48Matt McCusker?

  I, I read a thing years ago and they said they were watching your face through your camera and gauging like your, how long you're staying on a thing. All that stuff.

• 39:56Speaker 01

  God.

• 39:56Matt McCusker?

  And if you got the wearables, they can literally track your biometrics and like it's working on it.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:00Matt McCusker?

  It's not working on me, dude. Why do they keep sending it to me?

• 40:03Speaker 00

  Fuck do they keep sending me these?

• 40:04Matt McCusker?

  I'm just clutching my pearls and going, oh, yeah.

• 40:06Speaker 00

  Every time I see the hot ladies, I go, get the fuck off my page.

• 40:09Matt McCusker?

  And they know, yeah, they notice too, cause they go, it's like.

• 40:12Speaker 00

  Scroll.

• 40:12Matt McCusker?

  Yep. Stack up for a second, down, oh, down. Back up.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  I hate how well it knows exactly the kinda lady you wanna see too. It's not just, it's like generic hot lady. It's like, he likes hot ladies.

• 40:24Speaker 00

  I could've got your algorithm without ever even knowing you.

• 40:28Speaker 01

  It's just ladies about to be fat.

• 40:30Speaker 00

  I could've seen you and go, thick talk.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  It's my pole.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  And I can't stop it.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  I wonder if I could've gotten Mezies.

• 40:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Mezies is just like a lady going.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  Yeah. Hot, hot agent?

• 40:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:45Speaker 04

  Oh, wait, like for babe of the week or?

• 40:48Speaker 01

  Your algo.

• 40:48Speaker 00

  No, I mean, just guessing guys what his.

• 40:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, lady, this lady's a cosplay.

• 40:54Speaker 00

  Yours is cosplay.

• 40:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's white ladies pretending to be Japanese.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, so a black lady dressed as a anime character kinda did it for me.

• 41:02Speaker 00

  I wouldn't have guessed yours.

• 41:05Speaker 00

  Just so you know, I'd never, I would've not got yours.

• 41:09Matt McCusker?

  I wrote, I cast a wide net.

• 41:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I have a rule of thumb. I feel like if you're with, I feel like if you're with a babe and she gets, she can gain weight, but the freak has to increase with the weight. So the bigger they get, the bigger of a freak they have to become. That's my rule of thumb.

• 41:30Speaker 00

  That's totally fair.

• 41:31Matt McCusker?

  You can get as big as you want, but like.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  You're talking about, you're talking about pig wife.

• 41:35Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah. The bigger you get.

• 41:37Speaker 00

  A true pig wife.

• 41:38Matt McCusker?

  Exactly.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 41:39Matt McCusker?

  For every pound, for every 10, let's say every 10 pounds gotta be a new thing you unlock that you do.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Pig wife sounds kinda nice.

• 41:46Matt McCusker?

  Who would deny it?

• 41:48Speaker 01

  A pretty pig wife, like a BBW?

• 41:51Speaker 00

  It doesn't matter.

• 41:52Matt McCusker?

  Whatever you get, bro. Whatever you get.

• 41:54Speaker 00

  There were guys, yeah, there were some pig moms that you would see growing up and you'd go, god damn, that guy's got a pig mom. I bet she's a.

• 42:01Matt McCusker?

  Gotta dial up the freak. I'm not saying, look, I'm not trying to be a dick. That is just my rule of thumb. People can do whatever they want. You are free to gain as much as you please, every 10, 20 pounds. It'd be like an RPG. You gotta unlock a new thing. Every, it's like, well.

• 42:17Speaker 00

  You better get to the gym, otherwise something real bad happens.

• 42:23Speaker 00

  Something I don't even wanna do happens.

• 42:26Matt McCusker?

  I'm doing it for us.

• 42:29Matt McCusker?

  But that would be, I mean, imagine that for every 20 LBs, it's just like a new act where you're like, whoa.

• 42:35Speaker 00

  Damn, I'd be a freak bitch.

• 42:40Speaker 00

  I gotta get to the gym right now. I'm a freak boy.

• 42:46Matt McCusker?

  True, man. You just be at the, at one point, you'd be like, I just gotta hit a Diddy party, bro. I have not been going to the gym. I just gotta go deep now. I'd be willing to see what my, there's gotta be like a, like, you know, like the X and Y axis.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:00Matt McCusker?

  I wonder what like, where my, where you would tap out at.

• 43:03Speaker 00

  As far as the size, the size of the pig wife?

• 43:06Matt McCusker?

  Weight goes up, the X, you go further out, the X axis.

• 43:10Speaker 00

  I mean, you might get to the point where you got like a lady, you gotta, you know, put in a flat b-.

• 43:18Speaker 00

  I mean, it might. Get to the point where you gotta take out a wall to get her out of the house. If you have a giant blob pig wife.

• 43:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 00

  And you can just, anything you want, go in there.

• 43:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that's.

• 43:30Speaker 00

  You are mine.

• 43:31Matt McCusker?

  The crane, the crane comes in, you're just like, no. They rip your ceiling off, you go, no. You can't take my blob. Hold on, let me get her back in his rabbit hutch.

• 43:43Speaker 00

  Blob wife?

• 43:44Matt McCusker?

  Pure blob. Pure job of the hu- job of the, semi-job of the slut, dude.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  He's job of the slut. You'd be in a metal bikini, standing next to her going, she just kept eating, now I'm a fucking freak.

• 43:59Matt McCusker?

  You'd be, you'd be like Hot Solo on the edge of that fucking ring. You'd get sucked into the ring, like, no.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  You could get a blob wife. There are dudes, obviously, with blob wives.

• 44:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, oh, for sure.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  I love the, the Thousand Pound Sisters, or whatever that shit is.

• 44:12Matt McCusker?

  So tight.

• 44:12Speaker 00

  TLC keeps trotting out blobs. So sick.

• 44:17Matt McCusker?

  It would be, I mean, again, it's like, you just have to use your imagination, but you could probably go pretty, it'd be pretty wild.

• 44:21Speaker 00

  You could fuck every part of her.

• 44:23Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 44:23Speaker 00

  Like, you could fuck her arm.

• 44:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, and then you would start with, you, I've talked about feeders and gainers. You know what feeders and gainers are, Nate?

• 44:29Speaker 00

  No.

• 44:30Matt McCusker?

  A feeder and a gainer, it's a, it's a. Feeders and gainers, it's a fetish. I, I like talked about this to someone recently, like, assuming he knew what I was talking about, and he's like, what the fuck? What? Like, a bit of a feeder, aren't you? So a feeder is when you, so they, take, so if you're a gainer, you're just someone who's, you're.

• 44:46Speaker 00

  You're blob, you're chilling.

• 44:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you're just gonna feed them, so your fetish is getting people fat.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 44:51Matt McCusker?

  And their fetish is becoming your little fat blob. And you can just get into that whole thing where it's like, you wanna be like, yeah, eat up, babe.

• 44:58Speaker 00

  I was like a dabble in different types of. I see the wheels turning over there. Lemmy, is he sleepy?

• 45:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm a little sleepy.

• 45:05Matt McCusker?

  He's groggy, bro.

• 45:05Speaker 00

  Why are you so groggy?

• 45:07Speaker 04

  I was, yeah, I was having a whoo last night.

• 45:09Matt McCusker?

  Oh, the live show was last night?

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:11Matt McCusker?

  So you were with the babes?

• 45:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was with every, I was with the bros and the babes.

• 45:14Matt McCusker?

  P I, P I T M, babe crew.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  Yeah. Had a long one, you know?

• 45:20Matt McCusker?

  Yo.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Tied it on.

• 45:22Matt McCusker?

  You got, what do you think about getting a, um? Something of a mascot for PITM, maybe a blob. You guys could get a blob.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  I would love to have a fat lady just hang around the pod, chime in with her opinions.

• 45:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, man.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  I think it has to be fair, Abraham, honestly.

• 45:37Matt McCusker?

  But you got a blob, is she willing to gain for you guys?

• 45:40Speaker 00

  For the right price, I bet she would gain.

• 45:43Speaker 01

  I think. Kara said the funniest thing on the pod, not actually. She said, she said I was playing Bitcoin and I think about it like every day.

• 45:53Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 45:53Speaker 01

  She was talking about buying and selling Bitcoin. She said I was playing Bitcoin.

• 46:04Matt McCusker?

  What's, I don't understand, like she's saying like it was just that's how she.

• 46:07Speaker 00

  I think what the joke is that she has such a lack of understanding of Bitcoin is that she thinks it's an online game.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  She was like, I was playing Bitcoin.

• 46:14Matt McCusker?

  Minecraft or something. That's what I thought, but I wanted to make sure.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  It's maybe like every day since.

• 46:21Speaker 00

  Did you guys confront her on the poop video?

• 46:24Speaker 01

  Nah, people are pretty upset about it.

• 46:26Speaker 00

  I didn't, yeah, I didn't get to that part.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  Can't bring up the poop vid.

• 46:28Matt McCusker?

  Not even a confrontation, it's like an exploration.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  We were, we were beating around the.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  I heard you beating around the bush a little.

• 46:35Matt McCusker?

  How did you beat around the bush?

• 46:36Speaker 00

  Get brought up.

• 46:39Speaker 00

  They were bringing up like, have you ever done cake farts?

• 46:43Matt McCusker?

  That's so, it is funny when you get someone on, you're like, I'm bringing it up and the whole time you're like.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  We, we only stood, stood ten toes, I think, one time. It was.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  The non porn porn thing?

• 46:53Speaker 01

  Nah, she was, cause she was trying to say she doesn't, we're big on if you charge for your OnlyFans but don't show tits.

• 46:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:59Speaker 01

  Not okay. And she was, you know, talking about she doesn't show tits on her main thing. And we didn't, we didn't let it slide. I was pretty proud of that.

• 47:06Matt McCusker?

  What's, what's the, beyond the main thing?

• 47:08Speaker 01

  Uh, like your main, your main feat.

• 47:10Speaker 00

  For three men in a room to confront.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  You don't know how hard it was.

• 47:14Speaker 00

  That's pretty awesome, you guys did that.

• 47:16Speaker 01

  It wasn't as mean as. She laughed.

• 47:21Matt McCusker?

  So it's like, and there's another level you can unlock for that.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  Uh, for what?

• 47:26Matt McCusker?

  For tits. You said the main thing.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, she was saying hers was, like, giving all this free plugs. She was saying hers was free and she charges for extra stuff, which is fine, I think.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  That's fine.

• 47:35Speaker 01

  But if you charge at all.

• 47:37Speaker 00

  As like gatekeepers.

• 47:41Matt McCusker?

  I like it.

• 47:42Speaker 00

  Somebody's gotta keep the law around there.

• 47:45Matt McCusker?

  You gotta pay to see some titties.

• 47:47Speaker 01

  Wouldn't this be a great gift? We were saying this on the pod. Wouldn't this be a great gift if your lady just was like, I put a hundred dollars on your OnlyFans account. Have a blast.

• 47:54Speaker 00

  No.

• 47:55Speaker 01

  No?

• 47:56Speaker 00

  No, I'm not in a poly relationship.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  That's not poly. You think porn is poly?

• 48:00Speaker 00

  Circling the drain.

• 48:02Matt McCusker?

  That's, well, hold on.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  I think it's keeping you locked in the non, to not stepping out. You think it is?

• 48:08Speaker 00

  I think it's slightly freak shit.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  I think I'd be very happy if my lady was like.

• 48:11Matt McCusker?

  Now it's my blob word of approach.

• 48:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, how much does my wife weigh at this point?

• 48:19Speaker 00

  If she's a blob, then by all means, yes.

• 48:22Speaker 01

  I would love to dabble in multiple types of like love, like blob love, uh, what Kanye's got going on love.

• 48:30Matt McCusker?

  Or just like pure exhibitionism?

• 48:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, pure exhibitionism, like super like.

• 48:35Matt McCusker?

  What about if you, what about if you exhibit the blob?

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Wait, what if what?

• 48:38Matt McCusker?

  Exhibit the blob.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  Like I would be the blob.

• 48:40Speaker 00

  Charge, charge people to come in.

• 48:42Matt McCusker?

  I'm saying, no, I'm saying just.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Be rich.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  View the blob.

• 48:44Matt McCusker?

  Just get a PR, get a PR company just to take pictures of your scaly clad blob and publish.

• 48:50Speaker 01

  You would probably make a hundred thousand dollars a year. Just have the fattest lady on OnlyFans. People are gonna.

• 48:56Matt McCusker?

  For sure.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  You're gonna get, yeah.

• 48:58Matt McCusker?

  You go.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  A hundred thousand shooting love.

• 49:00Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Now we're talking, now we're talking pampering.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:04Matt McCusker?

  Now we're talking we're pampering the blob.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  You're gonna get that fucking, pimping the blob, you're gonna get that dragon chain back out. You're gonna be back. The dragon chain, you're gonna be pimping a blob.

• 49:17Matt McCusker?

  We once we started pimping the blob, we all hit Piercing Pagoda, get like the hundred thirty-two dollar silver chain.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  We could get our hands on a blob around here. They're out there.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  You can get one.

• 49:28Speaker 00

  You can find a blob.

• 49:29Matt McCusker?

  We gotta get a Dumbo drop though, bro. I don't feel like growing my blob.

• 49:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, you don't, yeah.

• 49:33Matt McCusker?

  I don't have the patience to grow my blob.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  I don't think we have the patience or, I mean, that, yeah. We should, we could airdrop a blob in here.

• 49:42Speaker 01

  Have a blob dropped off by a grow.

• 49:43Speaker 00

  We get the blob out in the Lemare room.

• 49:45Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 49:49Speaker 00

  And that's got a good glass. We could charge people to go look at it.

• 49:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but then you need the ranch hand back. You need the ranch hand.

• 49:56Speaker 00

  The ranch hand would be tending to the blob.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  But I know what you would do, you little devil. You would take it, I'd catch you snacking on the blob.

• 50:06Matt McCusker?

  This whole operation would fall apart. It'd be nothing but infighting. They're like, dude, I saw you with the blob. What the fuck, dude?

• 50:11Speaker 00

  A lot of infighting. People would be sneaking out to the blob room. Lot of trips to the blob room.

• 50:16Matt McCusker?

  I think a guy hit me up recently. He was like, you can buy apparently gorilla food and it's like the same macros for people, but it's like $2 a day. So.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  Oh, you'd be for the blob?

• 50:27Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm saying, I would never, I would feed the blob. The blob is fucking queen, dude.

• 50:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:31Matt McCusker?

  That'd be Uber Eats. Feeding the blob gorilla food would be fucked. If you're in hard times, you'd have no other choice than to feed her. You'd have to feed.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  God keepersatiating.

• 50:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you can buy apparently like primate food and it's like the same macros and it's like human grade. It's like $3. Some guy was like, you think I should do this? I was like, I don't know, dude.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:49Matt McCusker?

  I was like, if you want. He's like, it's so cheap. This is true. It'd be pretty fucking sick just crushing gorilla feed.

• 50:57Speaker 00

  It's probably terrible.

• 50:58Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it's gotta be so bad.

• 50:59Speaker 00

  And they're, yeah.

• 51:00Matt McCusker?

  But if you're talking.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  There's not even any good tasty trees in there. They're vegetarian.

• 51:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you might as well just do the McDonald's.

• 51:05Speaker 00

  It's a little omnivore.

• 51:06Matt McCusker?

  Did you ever see those guys who are like? Yeah, true. Omnivore. No, they're, aren't they omnivore? No, they're, they're.

• 51:11Speaker 00

  No, I think gorillas are herbivores.

• 51:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, what the fuck? Those macros must be fucked.

• 51:18Speaker 00

  I think with animals though, you toss fucking anything in there.

• 51:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Beef them up.

• 51:21Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 51:22Matt McCusker?

  That'd be nice. Yeah, you could really.

• 51:23Speaker 00

  I think they feed chimps.

• 51:24Matt McCusker?

  Has anyone, has anyone put a gorilla on steroids before?

• 51:27Speaker 01

  Shit.

• 51:28Matt McCusker?

  That would be sick. That's, we need another pool house for our juiced up gorilla.

• 51:33Speaker 00

  Juiced up fucking silverback gorilla.

• 51:36Matt McCusker?

  That would give them the darker corners of the internet.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  Horse comes to show. Now we take it only fans by storm.

• 51:45Matt McCusker?

  Brother, I'm, I'm right there with you.

• 51:47Speaker 00

  Somebody forgets to lock the.

• 51:51Matt McCusker?

  You teach it sign language, it's just going, "Take me to the blob."

• 51:57Speaker 00

  It would need the blob, it'd be like Pete the Dolphin. The blob would fly away, he would kill himself.

• 52:04Matt McCusker?

  One day, they would come take your blob. Once a lady's 600 pounds-

• 52:07Speaker 00

  The government would find out.

• 52:08Matt McCusker?

  Once a lady's 600 pounds, the government comes and she just goes, "The claw." Did you ever see Toy Story? "The claw."

• 52:16Speaker 00

  It would be, if the government got wind that we were collecting blobs, it would be, it'd be like Waco.

• 52:23Speaker 00

  Tank through the fucking wall. They'd come for our blobs.

• 52:27Matt McCusker?

  They'd be in a big machine, like a Pizza Planet.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  "The claw."

• 52:34Speaker 00

  We would have to start arming ourselves, we'd have to defend the blob at all costs.

• 52:37Matt McCusker?

  You would have, for sure have to.

• 52:39Speaker 00

  Cause you know the government can't stand.

• 52:41Matt McCusker?

  No, we need some grazing land, too. Just get like little, big, ash turf. Just lay little Debbie's out.

• 52:49Speaker 00

  I mean, yeah, once we start, once, once we make money off the first blob. I think we'd get a couple blobs.

• 52:55Matt McCusker?

  That'd be our bottom blob.

• 52:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. It's our bottom blob.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Bottom blob.

• 52:59Matt McCusker?

  Get a bottom blob, get all the other blobs and shit.

• 53:02Speaker 00

  We gotta just take the first blob, flip that into

• 53:06Speaker 00

  three, four blobs.

• 53:10Matt McCusker?

  Some fixer-uppers.

• 53:13Matt McCusker?

  This blob's a little old, but she's-

• 53:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, blobs do, they don't last long.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 53:18Speaker 00

  Unfortunately, our sweet blobs would depart this realm. Quickly.

• 53:24Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  You truck them out, you get them.

• 53:27Matt McCusker?

  Is what it is, it's a rough-

• 53:28Speaker 00

  Take them away, do surgery, fix the blobs.

• 53:32Matt McCusker?

  Clone them.

• 53:34Speaker 00

  Clone the blobs.

• 53:35Matt McCusker?

  You gotta be careful, do you get black YouTubers, like, "That blob's a clone."

• 53:40Speaker 00

  The last thing we would want, though, is black YouTubers finding out that we have a blob, too. It'd be swarm in the house.

• 53:49Speaker 00

  It'd be the bug light. That'd be the bug light for black YouTubers.

• 53:57Matt McCusker?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Dude, real quick, gotta tell you guys about this.

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Oh, I like this.

• 54:02Matt McCusker?

  I like that too. AG1, the healthy stuff I've been drinking recently. Still just one scoop once a day. Vitamins, minerals, probiotics. All this stuff my actual diet doesn't provide. Mixes great, doesn't taste like a fistfight. Package travel easily if you're on the road doing shows or just too lazy to measure anything out, which dude, come on. They also recently came out with AG1 Pro, the same foundation, but with creatine in one simple delicious drink. So if you're someone who trains a lot or wants to get more impact out of your stack, this one might be worth checking out. So hurry up and go to drinkag1.com/secretpod

• 54:43Matt McCusker?

  and for a limited time only, get a free immune support bundle, including omega-3 fish oil and vitamin D3 plus K2 with your first subscription to AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. That's drinkag1.com/secretpod.

• 54:57Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Quince.

• 54:59Matt McCusker?

  Nice.

• 55:00Speaker 00

  What do you know about Quince?

• 55:01Matt McCusker?

  I love Quince. I'll be, I'll be honest. They sent me the stuff and I, their boxers, they use like cotton, like regular materials, not a lot of polyesters, natural fibers. I'm a, I'm a big fan.

• 55:12Speaker 00

  Well, not everyone wants to spend forever on the perfect look. Quince gets that. It's why they make staple pieces for your wardrobe that go with pretty much anything, Matt. They're, uh, they're really easy to style and they feel great to wear because they're also made with premium materials, including, like you said, organic cotton, merino wool. There's even 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at just $60. That's, I mean, talk about a deal.

• 55:37Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 55:38Speaker 00

  That's a bargain.

• 55:39Matt McCusker?

  Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com, get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know it was Matt and Shane's secret podcast. It's the best way to support the show.

• 56:05Matt McCusker?

  It turns out your pool house is just like an ancient fucking pyramid thing that we need to investigate. The secrets of the pyramid. Just a energy vortex.

• 56:15Speaker 00

  You'd hear them coming too. You'd hear Fetty Wap.

• 56:20Speaker 04

  You gotta try to get our blob again.

• 56:22Matt McCusker?

  Lock down, lock down.

• 56:26Matt McCusker?

  You just hear that shit like.

• 56:29Matt McCusker?

  It's not a drill.

• 56:32Speaker 00

  You see the episode two of Last of Us when they get through the fence, they're going to breach this is one big guy.

• 56:39Matt McCusker?

  We'd have to definitely secure that fence.

• 56:44Speaker 00

  Get some dogs.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  Some spotlights.

• 56:48Matt McCusker?

  They just all have miniature fucking pictures.

• 56:51Speaker 00

  Would you help defend the blob or would you side with your black YouTube cohort?

• 56:56Speaker 00

  Would you be in cahoots with the black YouTubers just for a taste of the blob yourself?

• 57:00Speaker 04

  No.

• 57:01Matt McCusker?

  You don't want to run a train on the blob with the fellas?

• 57:03Speaker 04

  I'd defend the blob, no.

• 57:04Speaker 00

  You would defend the blob? I know you would.

• 57:06Speaker 04

  Trains are gross.

• 57:08Speaker 00

  Trains are gross, you're exactly right. Unless it's a blob.

• 57:14Matt McCusker?

  He'd be a railroad bull.

• 57:15Speaker 00

  You'd be real far apart.

• 57:16Matt McCusker?

  He'd be a hard-headed railroad bull, dude. He'd be down there like, what the hell?

• 57:23Speaker 00

  Alright.

• 57:24Matt McCusker?

  Breaking up the stone. Alright, yeah, we can stop talking blob talk.

• 57:27Speaker 00

  No, blob talk's good.

• 57:29Matt McCusker?

  I think it's a good rule of thumb, that's all I'm saying. And then if you could take it anywhere you want, if you're business minded, obviously, like we are.

• 57:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:36Matt McCusker?

  Take it anywhere you want. Remember the video I sent you? This lady just, she just had giant, like.

• 57:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:42Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I found this video online and it's a lady with, I mean dude, beyond Fs, the most giant boobs.

• 57:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 57:51Matt McCusker?

  And she, it's just her husband tapes her going down a waterslide in one of those little things, like the raft. And like, it's just every turn, they're just. And it has like a million views. And he wrote a disclaimer being like, guys, this is a family video. My wife, please don't poke fun at the way she's built. It's like, dude, you knew what you were doing.

• 58:10Speaker 00

  You knew what you were doing.

• 58:11Matt McCusker?

  You knew what you were doing.

• 58:12Speaker 00

  Statues of her in India.

• 58:15Speaker 00

  Those guys got a hold of fucking those videos. Holy shit, that is the Bob.

• 58:19Matt McCusker?

  That is.

• 58:20Speaker 00

  It's the Shiva.

• 58:20Matt McCusker?

  That is Shiva.

• 58:24Matt McCusker?

  This is a village that's like their exclusive deity. They build the water park like she will come.

• 58:31Matt McCusker?

  She will ride the slide. Yeah, that'd be, that's, that'd be pretty tough. I always, I always forget about, it's a nice thing about how horny you guys are in India.

• 58:40Matt McCusker?

  Anywhere where there's a billion, again, the census could be wrong, by the way. I was on war mode recently. Turns out the census is, they've totally botched it.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  They're saying they overestimated it.

• 58:48Matt McCusker?

  Over, yeah.

• 58:49Speaker 00

  And there's a lot less people.

• 58:50Matt McCusker?

  I think so. But I, the, the, the black conspiracy is that there's way more black people than they say.

• 58:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 58:56Matt McCusker?

  That one I kind of believe.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  I did until I got to fucking Austin.

• 59:00Speaker 00

  True. Yeah, that's, that's just coming from black people that live around black people.

• 59:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 59:04Speaker 00

  What the fuck? Everyone's black. Why are they saying this?

• 59:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I guess you're right.

• 59:08Speaker 00

  And you fly across the country and you go, it's been white the entire time.

• 59:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. That's true. America is a giant double stuffed Oreo.

• 59:17Speaker 00

  It is.

• 59:22Speaker 00

  But what the, what the, what the coast don't understand is the blobs are in the middle.

• 59:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. You got to set up the new Oregon Trail.

• 59:32Speaker 00

  You gotta find the blobs.

• 59:33Matt McCusker?

  The Minnesota Trail.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  They're in there. They're in Minnesota. They're everywhere.

• 59:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true, man. Yeah, if you think.

• 59:39Speaker 00

  You get down to Missouri, Iowa, then you head down to the deep south, there's blobs. There's blobs chilling.

• 59:44Matt McCusker?

  The best. Honey boo-boos.

• 59:48Speaker 00

  Talking Arkansas way.

• 59:52Matt McCusker?

  I mean, here's the thing, it's all fun and games until the blob turns on you.

• 59:55Speaker 00

  Then you gotta go.

• 59:56Matt McCusker?

  She could turn on you, man, and that would be ugly.

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  The no country for old men.

• 1:00:09Matt McCusker?

  This is all fictitious, obviously.

• 1:00:11Speaker 00

  This is all fictitious. We would never, we would never fatten a woman up.

• 1:00:14Matt McCusker?

  We would never fatten her up for our own pleasure. Women will fatten you up, though. They're trying to get the male blob, dude. That's all they do.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  They love trying to fatten you up.

• 1:00:23Matt McCusker?

  Just so they can shame you.

• 1:00:24Speaker 00

  I think it's so they.

• 1:00:25Matt McCusker?

  Women are the biggest fat shamers on the planet. They will fatten you and then shame you.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  My theory was so that you wouldn't cheat on them. They want you fat. So no one else wants you, they think.

• 1:00:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 00

  That's what I always thought.

• 1:00:37Matt McCusker?

  But I, dude, for every five I gain though, I get freaked out.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  Why you making that face?

• 1:00:41Speaker 00

  My fucking blobs walking around. My blob just walked behind the camera and we're all sitting here going, fucking women, nasty bitches.

• 1:00:49Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm saying they will feed you. They will blob you up.

• 1:00:52Speaker 00

  But you're right though, of course it's to show you later.

• 1:00:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:56Speaker 03

  You need to worry. It's like you gave me all these fucking treats. You gave me the creamy.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  I would have never bought, I'd never buy creamy. All of a sudden there's creamy in the house. Yes, I'm gonna take a fucking scoop.

• 1:01:10Speaker 00

  Oh shit, this is better than I thought it was gonna be. I forgot how fucking good creamy is. I stand by the fucking refrigerator and eat a lot more creamy than I thought.

• 1:01:18Matt McCusker?

  Peanut butter ripple, bro.

• 1:01:20Speaker 00

  Don't even talk about that, man.

• 1:01:21Matt McCusker?

  Give me some peanut butter ripple.

• 1:01:22Speaker 00

  You could blob me out, dude. I might be a gainer. You could be a feeder. This might be Gainer and feeder's secret podcast.

• 1:01:33Matt McCusker?

  You gotta dial up the freak for me. Or I will walk, bro. I will fucking walk. I will walk.

• 1:01:40Speaker 00

  What do you want? What more do you want, dude?

• 1:01:43Matt McCusker?

  You know about my dream I had, bro?

• 1:01:47Matt McCusker?

  It's a Patreon.

• 1:01:49Speaker 00

  We'll get podiums, dude. We'll get podiums, but I'm gonna bring in an expert and you debate them.

• 1:01:57Speaker 00

  And you have to genuinely debate them.

• 1:02:01Speaker 04

  What is it about?

• 1:02:03Speaker 00

  What do you think you're an expert on other than wrestling?

• 1:02:06Speaker 04

  Quantum entanglement.

• 1:02:07Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:02:07Matt McCusker?

  Here we go.

• 1:02:09Speaker 00

  I'll find a professor from Texas.

• 1:02:13Speaker 03

  It's a close second, WWE and the quantum entanglement.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  Uh, once I've mastered the SummerSlam, I've headed straight into quantum.

• 1:02:24Speaker 00

  We can find a professor from Texas to come debate you.

• 1:02:27Matt McCusker?

  That would be nice, dude.

• 1:02:28Speaker 00

  Ooh, we should get a fucking women's studies.

• 1:02:31Matt McCusker?

  Lee LaMaire?

• 1:02:33Speaker 00

  Women's studies verse, pain is in the mouth, debate.

• 1:02:35Matt McCusker?

  That would be nice, but they're not ready for blob theory.

• 1:02:38Speaker 00

  They're not ready for blob theory.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  Quantum blob.

• 1:02:44Matt McCusker?

  Have you studied blob theory? I mean, if you hit a gender studies major with for every 20, you gotta get freakier, they would leave.

• 1:02:53Matt McCusker?

  They would fucking leave.

• 1:02:56Matt McCusker?

  They'd be out, dude. They do not like that kind of stuff.

• 1:02:59Speaker 00

  I would like to find a white race professor.

• 1:03:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that'd be nice. Oh, that'd be good.

• 1:03:04Speaker 00

  A white African studies, come in here and teach you guys some things.

• 1:03:09Matt McCusker?

  Get Dolezal.

• 1:03:14Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, is there, is there any white African studies? There's gotta be a couple.

• 1:03:17Speaker 00

  Gotta be, it's gotta be so many white ladies.

• 1:03:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:03:20Speaker 00

  With hyphenated last names.

• 1:03:23Speaker 04

  I got one, Rachel Dolezal.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  Dolezal.

• 1:03:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:26Speaker 00

  Well, Dolezal, we can't have her debate.

• 1:03:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:29Speaker 00

  Also, you guys would be.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  I'd be pretty excited.

• 1:03:31Speaker 00

  You would get.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  I'm a big fan.

• 1:03:33Matt McCusker?

  You guys wouldn't ask the hard-hitting questions? You guys would be like, oh, I thought you did pretty good at the NAACP.

• 1:03:40Speaker 00

  You have an OnlyFans, I know that.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  That was just icing on the cake. I was a supporter of hers before, before that. She was just a white lady that loved black people too much.

• 1:03:49Speaker 00

  Texas racial studies.

• 1:03:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:53Speaker 04

  She was getting nasty on the OnlyFans for a while there.

• 1:03:55Matt McCusker?

  Was she getting nasty?

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Matt McCusker?

  For real?

• 1:03:57Speaker 01

  I mean, in like, in the nicest way possible. Like, she was getting nasty, but it was like, beautiful.

• 1:04:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. She had been a, she had been a bad, she had been a bad girl.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:07Matt McCusker?

  Damn, it's so nice to just doggy your way out of a like racial snafu.

• 1:04:12Speaker 00

  The Department of Race, Ethnicity, Gender and Sexual Sexuality Studies. I like that.

• 1:04:17Matt McCusker?

  It's all one thing?

• 1:04:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, oh yeah. Being gay and being black is the same thing.

• 1:04:22Matt McCusker?

  It is weird. Why do you guys get looped in with that all the time?

• 1:04:24Speaker 01

  You guys, I need them to stop. It's not that it's a problem, it's just.

• 1:04:28Matt McCusker?

  Which is weird. If it was like Irish studies and gay people, I'd be like, why are you doing that? What the fuck?

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  It feels like somebody's doing it and going, got them. Like afterwards, like, I don't, I don't call them gay. Yeah, yeah, they're gonna hate this. It's gonna make them so mad.

• 1:04:44Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:04:46Matt McCusker?

  It's kind of BS, man.

• 1:04:48Speaker 00

  Yo, come on now. Gimme the.

• 1:04:52Matt McCusker?

  Fine, there's no honks.

• 1:04:54Speaker 00

  I can't, I can't find the directory for the, uh. Oh, we could bring in Italian studies.

• 1:04:59Matt McCusker?

  That would be nice.

• 1:05:00Speaker 00

  Oh, it's definitely just language, god damn it.

• 1:05:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. Yeah, I was thinking there was.

• 1:05:04Speaker 00

  I got tricked, because it's right above Jewish studies. In the listing here.

• 1:05:09Matt McCusker?

  Is Jewish studies, is that the same thing, is Jewish studies, Italian studies, gay guys?

• 1:05:15Speaker 00

  Probably, it's just, yeah.

• 1:05:17Matt McCusker?

  Black studies.

• 1:05:19Matt McCusker?

  That's kind of, did do, uh, remember when like universities started doing Ebonics, they don't do that anymore, do they?

• 1:05:24Speaker 00

  Was that a thing for real?

• 1:05:25Matt McCusker?

  I swear to god, I think that was like, maybe one or two places did that.

• 1:05:29Speaker 00

  Ah, I like it.

• 1:05:30Matt McCusker?

  I might go back and major in it.

• 1:05:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, I like, that's fat. That class would be so funny to sit in.

• 1:05:39Matt McCusker?

  Cap. Yeah, call him Cap would be so nice.

• 1:05:45Speaker 00

  Yo, teach.

• 1:05:47Matt McCusker?

  Just trying to figure out when to say type shit, like I don't exactly know how to put it into a conversation.

• 1:05:56Speaker 00

  They should study Ebonics, that'd be sick.

• 1:05:58Matt McCusker?

  That would be tight, man. I, I think that was like a thing. It's still a thing. I guess if you do linguistics, maybe it's just like a. Cause I remember just back in the day, you'd hear about it. I didn't know anything about, like, I didn't know the specifics. But I remember they like busted that out on colleges, where like, we gotta, it could have just been like just linguistics, like, let's dive into this.

• 1:06:18Matt McCusker?

  But, I don't know. I don't know a motherfucking thing.

• 1:06:21Speaker 00

  Faculty is the word I was looking for.

• 1:06:23Matt McCusker?

  There you go.

• 1:06:24Speaker 00

  I'm an idiot. It's like, where the fuck is professors?

• 1:06:27Matt McCusker?

  Guys. Nerds.

• 1:06:32Matt McCusker?

  Directory to your talking nerds.

• 1:06:34Speaker 00

  Damn, everybody here is a made up name.

• 1:06:36Matt McCusker?

  For real?

• 1:06:37Speaker 00

  The faculty directory.

• 1:06:39Matt McCusker?

  What kind, what are we working with?

• 1:06:42Speaker 00

  I don't feel like naming.

• 1:06:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, don't name names.

• 1:06:45Matt McCusker?

  Oh, who's that guy?

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  Are they Caucasoids?

• 1:06:49Matt McCusker?

  Some are. Oh, Gardini, there you are.

• 1:06:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's one for you.

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  Said Caucasoids?

• 1:06:55Speaker 03

  That's what I call them.

• 1:06:56Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 1:06:58Matt McCusker?

  What is this for? What thing is this?

• 1:07:01Speaker 00

  This...

• 1:07:02Matt McCusker?

  What's the department?

• 1:07:03Speaker 00

  I hate to be a jerk, but it looks like engineering.

• 1:07:05Matt McCusker?

  Ow.

• 1:07:07Matt McCusker?

  That's why everyone has made up names.

• 1:07:10Speaker 00

  There's not one... There we go. There he is.

• 1:07:14Matt McCusker?

  There he is.

• 1:07:15Speaker 00

  There's one guy.

• 1:07:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, but engineering's gonna be... Dude, I didn't do engineering school.

• 1:07:21Speaker 00

  Every name is fucking gibberish.

• 1:07:24Matt McCusker?

  That guy's last name's kinda funny, though.

• 1:07:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is. What the fuck?

• 1:07:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, engineering, dude. Drexel was in engineering school and like, I had teachers I like couldn't understand, just for like math classes.

• 1:07:34Speaker 00

  That's who's coming over here to battle us?

• 1:07:36Matt McCusker?

  Yo.

• 1:07:37Speaker 00

  That's a final boss.

• 1:07:38Matt McCusker?

  Lemay's, can you handle?

• 1:07:40Speaker 00

  Lemay's, you're done for.

• 1:07:42Matt McCusker?

  Get an engineering professor to come debate like critical race theory.

• 1:07:47Matt McCusker?

  It's like, um, uh... I don't, this isn't my area of expertise. Like, shut up, nerd. Talk. Do big words. I know about making bridges. Hmm?

• 1:08:02Matt McCusker?

  What you looking up, Sean?

• 1:08:04Speaker 00

  We can get our hands on one of these.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  I looked up the African-American Studies faculty and it's, uh, it's, there's not really any Caucasoids on it.

• 1:08:12Speaker 00

  There's no Caucasoids?

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  No, there's one, uh, looks like an Asian man.

• 1:08:16Matt McCusker?

  I have a feeling on that.

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  You think they knocked that off? Like, they were like, "Sorry, guys, we'll get you a new job, but you can't do this anymore."

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  Oh, never mind, I got one.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  Who we got?

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  He looks like Mark Zuckerberg.

• 1:08:26Speaker 00

  Oh, bring him in.

• 1:08:28Matt McCusker?

  Let me see that feller.

• 1:08:29Speaker 00

  Let me take a good look at that feller.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  He would probably make me so angry.

• 1:08:32Speaker 00

  Wow, wow.

• 1:08:33Matt McCusker?

  Excuse me.

• 1:08:35Speaker 00

  I swear to God, I thought it was Gardini. That's why I was like... God, dog, yeah, you fucking mind?

• 1:08:42Speaker 00

  Uh, no, it's, yeah, we can't.

• 1:08:43Matt McCusker?

  Whatever, we can't do that.

• 1:08:44Speaker 00

  We can't release this man's...

• 1:08:46Matt McCusker?

  No, no, hide, hide, shelter that man from the storm.

• 1:08:48Speaker 00

  Hide whatever we have to out of that.

• 1:08:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:08:50Speaker 00

  Shield the man's identity.

• 1:08:51Matt McCusker?

  Or we could have Lemay moderate a debate between two professors and then have him summarize everything in between. That'd be kinda nice. It'd be like, gender studies versus astrophysicists and be like, "Go."

• 1:09:03Speaker 00

  Go. Yeah, that's a good debate, though.

• 1:09:06Matt McCusker?

  That'd be kinda sick.

• 1:09:07Speaker 00

  Astrophysics versus, yeah, it'd be like made up bullshit versus made up bullshit. Totally unprovable gibberish versus totally unprovable gibberish. Go ahead. Stuff that, stuff that doesn't fucking matter. Go ahead.

• 1:09:25Matt McCusker?

  Going back to school for gender studies would be nasty. I did social work. I might as well go all the way back.

• 1:09:31Matt McCusker?

  It's dude, it's being in a hostile classroom. I kind of genuinely miss it. It's so fun.

• 1:09:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's good that you were old enough to be able to handle that.

• 1:09:37Matt McCusker?

  I was ba-, dude, before 25 versus Charlie Kirk, I lived it for two years.

• 1:09:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:42Matt McCusker?

  I just didn't know it was like a cool thing on the internet. Should've livestreamed the class.

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  What's 25, what is that?

• 1:09:47Matt McCusker?

  When like those like conservative YouTubers will like debate 25 college students at a time.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:09:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:52Speaker 01

  Sit at the table.

• 1:09:53Matt McCusker?

  25 woke students versus Charlie Kirk.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:56Matt McCusker?

  I'd be like, I don't like being gay. And they're like, what?

• 1:10:02Matt McCusker?

  No! Yeah, right. You just talk fast as fuck.

• 1:10:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, just talk fast as fuck. Be real calm and condescending the entire time.

• 1:10:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:11Speaker 00

  You'll destroy the libs, dude.

• 1:10:16Matt McCusker?

  You're getting a bunch of nervous college students on camera.

• 1:10:18Speaker 00

  Destroy libs.

• 1:10:20Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:10:21Speaker 00

  I'm just gonna go on there. You guys triggered yet?

• 1:10:24Matt McCusker?

  I'd have, I'd have tape over my mouth the whole time. Like, alright, I guess I'll take this off.

• 1:10:28Speaker 00

  I, uh, I think Trump Jr. has a podcast called Triggered.

• 1:10:33Matt McCusker?

  Does he?

• 1:10:34Speaker 00

  Oof. Yeah.

• 1:10:35Matt McCusker?

  Are you, are you able to listen to it or did you ever get like?

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  I didn't listen to it yet, but I saw the image for it and, yeah.

• 1:10:42Matt McCusker?

  Damn, that's gay.

• 1:10:43Speaker 01

  I'm gonna say that stinks.

• 1:10:46Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it does. That's a, it's a huge moneymaker. Huge moneymaker to deal in.

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  Again, respect the bag. You always gotta respect somebody getting the bag, but.

• 1:10:58Matt McCusker?

  Oof, it's tough.

• 1:11:00Speaker 00

  Somebody should have helped him.

• 1:11:01Matt McCusker?

  Is the font fire?

• 1:11:02Speaker 00

  Whoa.

• 1:11:06Matt McCusker?

  Breaking the blob.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  Trump, there's an episode of Triggered called Breaking the Blob, dude.

• 1:11:16Matt McCusker?

  I thought we were...

• 1:11:17Speaker 00

  Trump Jr. on Triggered already sat down with Mike Benz and discussed what we need to do to shatter the blob. They're trying to take our blob.

• 1:11:25Matt McCusker?

  What the fuck?

• 1:11:26Speaker 00

  They're trying to break the blob. They know it's too powerful.

• 1:11:29Matt McCusker?

  I'm voting dem this next election.

• 1:11:30Speaker 00

  I'm dem.

• 1:11:31Matt McCusker?

  If they're gonna take away my right to blob...

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

  It's a blue wave.

• 1:11:34Matt McCusker?

  The bare blob is a total blue wave.

• 1:11:35Speaker 00

  It's a total blue wave. If the Republicans are trying to get your hands off my fucking blob, dude.

• 1:11:40Matt McCusker?

  Bro, the government's coming for your blobs over my dead body.

• 1:11:44Speaker 00

  I feel like the blobs have been staunch Republicans for a while. That's another thing that happens. You blob out so hard, you do become a fascist.

• 1:11:53Matt McCusker?

  Well, I think the soda ban got them pretty hard.

• 1:11:57Speaker 00

  True, but also RFK's gotta be a real, he's a menace to the blobs.

• 1:12:01Matt McCusker?

  Blobuster.

• 1:12:05Matt McCusker?

  I'm secretly rooting for him so hard, dude. I can't wait till he bans all that bullshit in our food.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, didn't he ban like dyes? Didn't he ban like, yeah?

• 1:12:14Matt McCusker?

  There's just like 70 things illegal to put in foods in Europe that we eat.

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, I'm all for getting rid of that shit. That shit confuses me sometimes that we're not spazzing about it. You know?

• 1:12:26Speaker 00

  Yes, but it's very funny when a guy in Trump's cabinet does it. So then everyone's like, no.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:32Speaker 00

  We need those dyes.

• 1:12:33Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was like...

• 1:12:34Speaker 00

  Do you want your gummy worms to be gray?

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  Kinda, yeah.

• 1:12:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, who cares?

• 1:12:40Matt McCusker?

  Root beer barrels, those things are good. The root beer bottle gummies?

• 1:12:42Speaker 00

  Those fucking rule. They better not be fucking dyes.

• 1:12:46Matt McCusker?

  It's all dyes, but you can do it. You can, you could easily remove those things. It'd be a little more expensive. You can remove that shit pretty easily.

• 1:12:54Speaker 01

  Still keep the color and remove it?

• 1:12:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, you can use like beet juice powder and all that bullshit and. I mean, you, you would, you might not be able to have like certain, you could probably honestly get certain hues. I used to make gummies and I would use, I used natural dyes in my gummies.

• 1:13:07Speaker 00

  I had some of those gummies.

• 1:13:08Matt McCusker?

  They were good.

• 1:13:09Speaker 00

  They were good gummies. A little too good. RFK would have told you to fucking regulate those things.

• 1:13:13Matt McCusker?

  RFK would have definitely taken away my, uh, my keefy crawlers.

• 1:13:16Speaker 00

  Keefy crawlers.

• 1:13:18Matt McCusker?

  Keefy crawlers were a million dollar idea. Keefy crawlers are so nice. I had these bug gummy molds and I would, I would toast keef with sugar. So I decarb the keef and then once I got the gummies, when they're still sticky, I'd roll them in keef. That was, you could actually eat because it was activated. Those used to fucking crush me, dude.

• 1:13:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13:36Matt McCusker?

  Keefy crawlers. I would drive around.

• 1:13:38Speaker 00

  Bro, I got destroyed off those fucking things.

• 1:13:42Matt McCusker?

  That, I couldn't.

• 1:13:43Speaker 00

  The skizzlers. Those, don't even bring those up. That was, I think that was just heroin.

• 1:13:48Matt McCusker?

  Skizzlers.

• 1:13:49Speaker 00

  I think that was just fentanyl.

• 1:13:51Matt McCusker?

  They might've had fentanyl.

• 1:13:52Speaker 00

  That was pure fentanyl, dude.

• 1:13:54Matt McCusker?

  I was getting bland. Those, they were an alcohol tincture. So you're also eating like Everclear.

• 1:13:57Speaker 00

  I was just trying to play FIFA and then I'd be.

• 1:14:02Speaker 00

  What'd you give me, dude? I'm blind.

• 1:14:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, those things were sick.

• 1:14:08Speaker 00

  Matt, yeah, I was a fucking feeder. You were a feeder back then, dude.

• 1:14:11Matt McCusker?

  I was a feeder.

• 1:14:12Speaker 00

  I was just sitting in the living room trying to gain and you'd come in and go, here, eat this.

• 1:14:16Matt McCusker?

  I was MK, I was MK.

• 1:14:17Speaker 00

  You were MK the fuck out of there.

• 1:14:21Speaker 00

  You were MK'd be bad there.

• 1:14:24Speaker 00

  Just in the kitchen making shit. I was like.

• 1:14:28Matt McCusker?

  I remember I boiled off. I like took grain alcohol, made an extraction, put it in a rice cooker in their backyard and it was just the smell of just like burning alcohol. It's a really harsh smell. And then I thought it was done. So I was like, all right, I guess all the alcohol is out. And I put my face in it to like, and I just, I don't know why I took a big whiff and it like, I just inhaled a bunch of alcohol fumes and it fucking felt weird.

• 1:14:49Speaker 00

  I bet.

• 1:14:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was not a good feeling. I kinda panicked for a while. Definitely took me aback.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  I had like this, that shit had to fuck up. I had this device that, I forget the name of it, but it was like a weed.

• 1:14:58Matt McCusker?

  The Nova decarb oxilator?

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  Uh, I can't.

• 1:15:02Matt McCusker?

  That thing was sick.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  I can't remember. I still got it.

• 1:15:05Matt McCusker?

  Or the magic butter machine?

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  It's like a magic butter machine, but it was called something else. But I tried to make like tinctures with it. And it broke, like it broke, just making it, I think the fume just broke a hinge on it. And then the paint under it was all.

• 1:15:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, man. What are you doing making tinctures?

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  Uh, it was during, this is like 2020, everything was done and.

• 1:15:24Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I'm lucky, I'm lucky I know about that. I would've had a slide on you, dude.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  I was all the way in Jersey. I wasn't even that one.

• 1:15:30Speaker 00

  Nah, you were in our territory, bro.

• 1:15:31Speaker 01

  I wasn't in your territory. I wasn't bringing it down there.

• 1:15:34Speaker 00

  You trying to fuck with Mount Vernon's, Mount Vernon mafia, bro.

• 1:15:38Matt McCusker?

  I would've had to snatch the dragon chain, bro.

• 1:15:42Speaker 00

  We would've snatched your chain, no problem.

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  Nah, the dragon chain version of me, man.

• 1:15:49Speaker 00

  We would've sent our.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  That was, that was an actual nigga.

• 1:15:52Speaker 00

  We would've sent our top hitters, dude. We would've sent Wood and Bees.

• 1:15:54Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 1:15:55Speaker 00

  You would've been dead, dude. Our top hitters, our fucking, our capos.

• 1:16:00Matt McCusker?

  I would've, we would've sexually blackmail you with Bar Dog.

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  The Bar Dog.

• 1:16:09Matt McCusker?

  Bar Dog's legend, dude. He's so nice.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  Nah, Bar Dog would've never got me. Never the one hitter I took out for sure.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  Definitely.

• 1:16:19Speaker 00

  You could've got the Bar Dog.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  I got the Bar Dog. I'd have saw three of them.

• 1:16:22Speaker 00

  You would've never got to the Bees.

• 1:16:24Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 1:16:25Speaker 00

  You could compromise the Bees, though.

• 1:16:27Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:16:29Speaker 00

  You could join your side pretty easily.

• 1:16:31Matt McCusker?

  Like Bees.

• 1:16:34Speaker 00

  Bees is down.

• 1:16:36Matt McCusker?

  Woodman's wild card.

• 1:16:37Speaker 00

  Woodman's a wild card. He could've got it, yeah. We just sent him to your house, he would've killed you.

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  Nah. He wouldn't have made it.

• 1:16:45Matt McCusker?

  That'd been Game of Thrones. He would've killed the wrong guy. He would've like smashed the baby.

• 1:16:51Matt McCusker?

  What did you do?

• 1:16:54Matt McCusker?

  That was House of Dragons, I think.

• 1:16:56Speaker 00

  Oh, dude, I'm walking.

• 1:17:03Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I used to eat the, it was like, I had the bug mold, the butterfly was like the smallest, then there was the spiders. Then I had these centipedes that I, I did the math, they had to have been at least like a hundred and twenty milligrams.

• 1:17:14Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:17:14Matt McCusker?

  And like dude, I, I could only, I did a spider once and was rocked. And I remember I would eat those like a butterfly and spider in the morning and just forget, be driving around. And just, they would hit me and I would be blasting LS Dream. The music I used for the intro for the first special was like

• 1:17:30Matt McCusker?

  Trying to cross Lancaster Ave like, I'm never getting across the street.

• 1:17:36Matt McCusker?

  I was like, I'll never get across the street.

• 1:17:39Speaker 00

  Lancaster Ave is a tough place to be high as shit driving. That sucks.

• 1:17:44Matt McCusker?

  Man, I clocked a lot of hours driving up that, just like.

• 1:17:49Matt McCusker?

  Lancaster Ave is fucking chaos, dude. It is absolute fucking chaos. That street is nuts, dude. So it's also, have you ever like walk up and down there?

• 1:18:00Speaker 00

  What?

• 1:18:01Matt McCusker?

  Open air, it's open air sex. Hoes are on Lancaster Ave.

• 1:18:06Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 1:18:07Matt McCusker?

  Lots of hoes.

• 1:18:09Speaker 00

  That's nice stuff now, now we're talking.

• 1:18:11Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, we are talking.

• 1:18:16Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you could, you could go get the blob, bro.

• 1:18:19Speaker 00

  You can secure the blob on Lancaster Ave.

• 1:18:20Matt McCusker?

  For sure. For sure. God damn, my shorts are so fucking short.

• 1:18:27Speaker 00

  We should end the podcast anyway.

• 1:18:28Matt McCusker?

  What, are we at an hour?

• 1:18:30Speaker 00

  I'm about to, I'm about to whiz.

• 1:18:32Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I gotta pee big time. That fucking fluid, dude, that was.

• 1:18:34Speaker 00

  That's good stuff.

• 1:18:35Matt McCusker?

  The juice flying.

• 1:18:36Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:19:17Speaker 05

  Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change, your receipt did. The sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5. Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

• 1:19:29Speaker 06

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