Episode 172: The 1997 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

i love a paradehttps://macysthanksgiving.fandom.com/wiki/Main_Page DONATE TO LUTHERAN SETTLEMENT HOUSE: https://www.lutheransettlement.org/get-involved/how-to-donate/ MEAL TRAIN FOR SEAN AND RAX:https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/yrddwe check out our TOUR (new dates added!):April 29: New York Cityhttps://sonyhall.com/events/well-theres-your-problem/?id=18162April 30: Somerville Mass (SOLD OUT!)https://artsatthearmory.org/events/bill-blumenreich-presents-well-theres-your-problem-podcast-2/May 1: Somerville Mass (SOLD OUT!)https://thewilbur.com/armory/artist/wtyp/May 2: New York City (SOLD OUT!)https://www.ticketweb.com/event/well-theres-your-problem-sony-hall-tickets/13918973May 3: Washington DChttps://www.unionstagepresents.com/shows/well-theres-your-problem-podcast/May 4: Philadelphia, PAhttps://concerts.livenation.com/well-theres-your-problem-podcast-philadelphia-pennsylvania-05-04-2025/event/0200615211C27E44 see gareth on RAILNATTER: https://www.youtube.com/@GarethDennisTVOur Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wtyppod/ Send us stuff! our address:Well There's Your Podcasting CompanyPO Box 26929 Philadelphia, PA 19134DO NOT SEND US LETTER BOMBS thanks in advance in the commercial: Local Forecast - Elevator Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Liam McAnderson?

  All right, we good?

• 0:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 0:01November Kelly?

  I'm good, I'm good.

• 0:02Liam McAnderson?

  All right, let's do it.

• 0:03November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 0:04Liam McAnderson?

  Local's going, oh, fuck me, dude. Have you been recording this whole time?

• 0:08Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 0:08November Kelly?

  We need to sync up.

• 0:10Justin Roczniak?

  We do need to sync up.

• 0:13Justin Roczniak?

  I'm sorry, all those racial slurs were recorded.

• 0:18Liam McAnderson?

  Someone once accused us of bleeping me because I said slurs, and I'm just like, no.

• 0:26November Kelly?

  We usually, what we're bleeping is like, you say something like, I think the CEO of United Healthcare should be, and then a long beep, and what you're saying in that situation is a series of racial slurs, I guess?

• 0:39Liam McAnderson?

  Right. I don't track that either.

• 0:41November Kelly?

  Grammatically, at least.

• 0:43Liam McAnderson?

  Right.

• 0:43November Kelly?

  Let alone politically.

• 0:44Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Again, I mean, we'll talk about Mama Mia.

• 0:49November Kelly?

  We'll talk about it.

• 0:50Liam McAnderson?

  Mama Mia 3.

• 0:52Justin Roczniak?

  Mama Mia.

• 0:53Liam McAnderson?

  Mama Mia 3, where the protagonist, Pierce Brosnan, of course, I've never seen Mama Mia, I've no fucking idea, I just don't present it.

• 1:00November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:01Justin Roczniak?

  I've seen Mama Mia once, but I wasn't paying much attention.

• 1:04Liam McAnderson?

  I think I've seen it. I, I, I think you should do that for Kill James Bond, that sounds like hell.

• 1:09November Kelly?

  I'm unholstering my NKVD commissar pistol to say, we do a sync point now.

• 1:16Justin Roczniak?

  All right, 3, 2, 1, mark. 3, 2, 1, mark.

• 1:23Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I was way early, fuck my ass.

• 1:25November Kelly?

  It's fine, it's in the ballpark, it's in the ballpark.

• 1:28Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:29Liam McAnderson?

  Well, when Devin comes to my house, and they're armed with two letter bombs, I'll get it, sorry, Dev.

• 1:36November Kelly?

  Two letter bombs, here's a letter bomb, here's my spare letter bomb in case the first letter bomb doesn't work.

• 1:42Justin Roczniak?

  Surely you would send the letter bomb in the mail as opposed to...

• 1:46November Kelly?

  That's being privatized, you know?

• 1:49Liam McAnderson?

  Devin's doing it.

• 1:50November Kelly?

  You can't, you can't even send letter bombs anymore because there's no postal service, you know?

• 1:55Liam McAnderson?

  Because of anti-woke.

• 1:57November Kelly?

  Another traditional craft gone in the face of capitalism.

• 2:01Liam McAnderson?

  What would Uncle Teddy, Teddy Kaczynski think of this? I'm not endorsing his methods.

• 2:07Justin Roczniak?

  I sent my letter bomb by certified mail.

• 2:13Justin Roczniak?

  Hello and welcome to Well, There's Your Problem. It's a podcast about engineering disasters with slides. I'm Justin Roczniak. I'm the person who's talking right now. My pronouns are he and him. Okay, go.

• 2:26November Kelly?

  I'm November Kelly. I'm the person who's talking now. My pronouns are she and her. Yeah, Liam.

• 2:30Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, Liam. Hi, I'm Liam McAnderson. My pronouns are he, him, and Death to Barney, which we'll get to. We had and and and with us is our, I don't know, I don't, I don't know what to call you, man.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  None of us know what I am.

• 2:42Justin Roczniak?

  Friend.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Fine. It's fine.

• 2:45Liam McAnderson?

  Situation ship.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:48November Kelly?

  Bringing our friend to Christmas like you're like you like like your aunt and her roommate for the past 25 years.

• 2:57Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, we're we're we're we're gonna do the cousin walk.

• 3:02November Kelly?

  Consider this. This is the official podcast of the cousin walk, I think. I believe that.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, I yeah, it's it's it's cousin Gareth. Cousin Gareth is here and his pronouns, my pronouns are he, him.

• 3:16Liam McAnderson?

  I do think that I my my aunt, who I don't believe listens to the show and who I wish a very timely

• 3:23Liam McAnderson?

  bleep that, please. My mom, my mom will get mad at me.

• 3:29Liam McAnderson?

  She she is is openly gay. She's the worst woman in the world. My aunt is. And she like I applaud her for for living her truth, but her truth is fucking miserable, dude.

• 3:39November Kelly?

  Suddenly fascinated about your beef with this woman. Because it really if you didn't know anything about you, that would really sound like it was a specifically homophobic thing.

• 3:51Liam McAnderson?

  No, no, no, it's just that she's mean to my mother.

• 3:54November Kelly?

  Oh, I see.

• 3:55Liam McAnderson?

  And I love my mother very much and and anyone who crosses my mama is gonna get the blade. Yeah, I think that's that's right to say.

• 4:03Justin Roczniak?

  That sounds about right.

• 4:05Liam McAnderson?

  So, yes, go on.

• 4:06Justin Roczniak?

  So what we see here was a cat in a hat.

• 4:10November Kelly?

  Cool.

• 4:11Justin Roczniak?

  But now he has been reduced to an ordinary cat without a hat.

• 4:16November Kelly?

  Reduced in status, shamed publicly.

• 4:19Justin Roczniak?

  Shamed publicly, turned into an ordinary cat on some sort of weird Dr. Seuss motorcycle type contraption.

• 4:28Speaker 03

  Critically horizontal and not vertical.

• 4:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Yes. He, he has spun out and lost his hat. And also you will notice here knocked over a streetlight.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, there's some destruction. There's a wake of destruction going on here as well.

• 4:43November Kelly?

  Just, just lasering in on that and being like, this is a New York City streetlight. It's not supposed to look like this.

• 4:51Justin Roczniak?

  This was, this was originally entitled that time the NYPD killed Barney, but we're gonna actually expand it out to several incidents, most specifically at the 1997 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but also the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in general.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Hell yeah.

• 5:11Justin Roczniak?

  I want to give many, many thanks to the people who maintain the impeccably detailed Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Wiki.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. It is a goldmine.

• 5:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff in there. Yeah. They apparently also do a podcast called Let's Pod a Parade where they do recaps of every year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

• 5:34November Kelly?

  Holy shit. I didn't know there was like a fandom for this stuff.

• 5:39Justin Roczniak?

  Once I started reading the articles, I was, oh, you can really foam this. You can, you can foam the balloons.

• 5:46November Kelly?

  This is a foamable topic.

• 5:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, this is a foamable topic. Yeah.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  And my neurodiversity says yes to that.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  I'm now looking up whether you can find out like technical details of the, of the, of the, of these things, whether they like, find out what the thickness of the canvas is and like what technology they used.

• 6:07November Kelly?

  Do you think that they're like sports boars where they're like, you're watching the Macy's Day Parade casually and they're like locked in? They're like thinking about like micron thicknesses of top ball.

• 6:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, has, has been, hasn't been good since the 1997 Pikachu.

• 6:23Liam McAnderson?

  Take it back, take it back. These, these new balloons don't know how to play hard-nosed parading.

• 6:28Justin Roczniak?

  That was a real, that was a real lunch fail Pikachu.

• 6:33Justin Roczniak?

  Nine to five.

• 6:39Justin Roczniak?

  But first, we have to do announcements, announcements.

• 6:47Justin Roczniak?

  Um, okay, so, uh, the tour, it's still happening, the Northeast Corridor. Um, the.

• 6:54Liam McAnderson?

  Or the six days of Sodom tour on ice sponsored by, uh, the hostage we have. Littman, I can't say that fucking either, can I?

• 7:02November Kelly?

  No, no, you can't say that we've taken Littman while Miranda hostage. Cause it's not true, crucially.

• 7:08Liam McAnderson?

  No, no, it's again, I don't, you know.

• 7:11Justin Roczniak?

  I can't fit him in my basement because someone else put a nuclear weapon down there.

• 7:17Liam McAnderson?

  Here, hold, hold this.

• 7:20November Kelly?

  Oh, you're gonna have to share, sorry.

• 7:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 7:23Liam McAnderson?

  Roz shooting at the New Jersey drones to protect someone else's reactor.

• 7:28November Kelly?

  Oh, we didn't even put that in the news. Next time, next time we'll talk about the drones.

• 7:31Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it's on like a three week delay anyway. Shut up.

• 7:33Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I was about to say, there's so much fucking news right now that, you know, we can't cover everything. I did see the Iranian mothership yesterday. It was big, it was white, it was round. There was like a little bite taken out of it. I was like, wow.

• 7:48November Kelly?

  It has been, like, it's been a decade of weeks where decades have happened.

• 7:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 7:54Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 7:56Justin Roczniak?

  Um, so, um, our tour, uh, next year, uh, late April, early May. Um, the April 29th show in New York, it's April 29th, right?

• 8:06Liam McAnderson?

  I think so, yeah.

• 8:07Justin Roczniak?

  That one still has seats available. Um, the Washington DC tour is selling out quickly. Um, the Fillmore even in Philly, that one's also getting close to sold out. So buy, buy, buy those tickets.

• 8:20Liam McAnderson?

  We are filling more quickly.

• 8:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 8:22Liam McAnderson?

  Like an over energetic top.

• 8:24November Kelly?

  Well, we, we, we are, we are like following the instructions written on the side of the building, Fillmore Theater.

• 8:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, Fillmore, Fillmore seats. Uh, so go buy the tickets, buy the tickets now. The link's in the description.

• 8:36November Kelly?

  Yeah, but as, as, as ever, when I say this, my presence physically is contingent on US Customs and Immigration Services. However, I am working on that and I hope to have a definitive answer soon.

• 8:49Liam McAnderson?

  I do want to say something that's very funny is that the Fillmore, when they have big touring acts, they close Richmond Street to traffic to put the tour buses there. Well, we don't have many tour buses or any tour buses, really. We just have my wife's Toyota RAV4.

• 9:07November Kelly?

  We got this tour bus on discount from the Dave Matthews Band.

• 9:10Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, don't worry about what's happening to that toilet.

• 9:15Justin Roczniak?

  We can get a private railroad car and put it down the trolley tracks there.

• 9:18Liam McAnderson?

  I do want to see if they'll close the road for just my wife's car.

• 9:23Liam McAnderson?

  I don't think they'll let me do that, but I think it would be incredibly funny.

• 9:26November Kelly?

  It's like, have you seen that little, that photo of the tiny little dog that got onto the Pope's parade route one time on a travel visit and he thought it was for him? Yeah, that's, that's gonna be like, like your wife's van, you know?

• 9:40Speaker 03

  The RAV4's internal persona will have, will be like skipping through, like thinking, like, like a cyclist way ahead of the peloton on the, when they cleared the road for the Tour de France. It's, yeah, exactly. I love that. I, I also think you should get like a little aftermarket siren to put on the roof.

• 9:56November Kelly?

  Yeah, that's probably legal.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. As long as you pick a funky color for it, you know, I don't know, go for like, like,

• 10:03November Kelly?

  flashing green lights or something. I mean, what is, what is more, well, there's your problem than a flashing yellow light on a RAV4?

• 10:14November Kelly?

  It implies vaguely engineering and urgency, which is two things that we are interested in.

• 10:19Justin Roczniak?

  True, yeah.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  It's that or an inflatable, we take the inflatable hat off, off, off the cat and pop that on the roof instead. It's like an ad hoc construction.

• 10:27Justin Roczniak?

  We bring Milkshake to the show, yeah.

• 10:30Liam McAnderson?

  I don't think Milkshake would like meeting that many people. I'm, I'm afraid of how many people I'm gonna meet.

• 10:36Justin Roczniak?

  No, no, no shake loves meeting people. That's his favorite thing.

• 10:41Liam McAnderson?

  He loves chewing on their beards. He loves sitting on their head.

• 10:44Justin Roczniak?

  Absolutely. No, he's gonna scratch everyone.

• 10:47Liam McAnderson?

  Just let a milkshake loose to terrorize the audience.

• 10:56Liam McAnderson?

  All right, what's our next announcement?

• 10:57Justin Roczniak?

  A toy drive?

• 10:58Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, yeah, that's me, right?

• 11:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 11:01Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, so I tweeted about it a couple of days ago. You Hogs have outdone yourselves. I don't have an exact number. I did tweet the photo. That is not all of the toys. You filled, you blew by last year and last year was pretty impressive. So I am very grateful. By the time this goes out, our Christmas, which is our busiest season will have concluded. Lutheran Settlement House can use your help all year long, though. We'll put a link to our Get Involved tab, where if you are local to Philadelphia, you can volunteer. If you live in any other place that's not the perfect and wonderful city of Philadelphia, Mayor Sheryl Parker not included,

• 11:43Liam McAnderson?

  you can donate to us. We are always open to donations. We are always grateful for them. I have tweeted this number before, but the Hogs have raised, I don't have the exact number in front of me, but since we started bullying them last year, something in the neighborhood of $28,000. Good. Be proud of yourselves, folks. It's incredible. And that is money that is non-restricted. Some of you have donated. I'm not going to call anyone out by name because I don't want to, for the sake of anonymity. I know at least one listener has donated $5,000. I know another has donated 10 to our shelter through becoming involved in, through this podcast. So, well done, Hogs.

• 12:28Justin Roczniak?

  That's incredible.

• 12:29Liam McAnderson?

  That's very good. Yeah, just very grateful for you. Unironically, thank you, Hogs.

• 12:34Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, thank you to the Hogs. For doing lots of charity. Speaking of charity, another, another announcement here. A friend and multiple time guest of the podcast, Sean from the Antifata, suffered a series of small strokes during an emergency operation. He's going to be out of work for a while. I've, I've at least texted with him. He seems like he's in good spirits. You know, podcast brain comes for us all, apparently. And, you know, there is a, I believe it's called a meal train, set up for him and his wife. We will put the link to that in the description. If you want

• 13:17Justin Roczniak?

  to, you know, donate either a meal or a gift card for DoorDash or Uber Eats through the discourse somewhere else. But that is, you know, that, that is something that I think they would very much appreciate. Because again, Sean's out of work for a while. So.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  And oh, one very small announcement, which I've been told in the Discord that I should be doing, and people have been shouting out, if you're not doing it, is, is upfront saying, go buy my book if you want to. It's a nice Christmas present.

• 13:48Justin Roczniak?

  Go buy the book.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  Heather, it's a fix the future. It's available in the US and Canada and the rest of the world. You can find it. On the third print run, because it's been sold. It's been selling like hotcakes. So thank you to all of you who have bought it already. That's all. I'll keep it short. That's it. Thanks to all of you. I love you.

• 14:03Justin Roczniak?

  I'm on, I bought the book. I'm on page 20. It's very good.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Thanks, Ross. Yeah, there you go. It's out there. I'll, I may have a chance to sign that in person at some point in the next not so distant future. Who knows? Maybe.

• 14:17Justin Roczniak?

  Let's hope so.

• 14:18Liam McAnderson?

  Let's hope so. I know, we'll, we'll, we'll solve that. I will, I will discuss that off camera.

• 14:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  Well, that's exciting. Anyway, yes, announcements, announcements.

• 14:29Justin Roczniak?

  Announcements.

• 14:30Liam McAnderson?

  Can we, can you do me a solid? For the next announcements, can we put a deafening train horn blast in there?

• 14:37November Kelly?

  I don't know if we should do that. I think we should do that. I think we should do that here to wake them back up again.

• 14:43Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 14:43Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, we do that.

• 14:45Liam McAnderson?

  Slipped off and drooling in your chair. Yeah.

• 14:47Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Well, you do the, the big K5 LA off the, off the Acela, obviously.

• 14:53Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I have one joke to make before we.

• 14:55November Kelly?

  Oh, that's probably good. It's a comedy podcast.

• 14:58Justin Roczniak?

  Comedy podcast.

• 15:01Justin Roczniak?

  Very serious podcast.

• 15:04Liam McAnderson?

  Dude, and I've been shelled. It's like work. So I was watching the Polar Express with my wife because it is Christmas time. And she said, you know, the, the annoying know it all kid who's like, you know, what kind of train this is? This is a blah, blah, blah, blah. It's a bulb, which it's not. It's a whatever.

• 15:21Justin Roczniak?

  It's, it's a Lima. It's not a Baldwin. He says it's a Baldwin, but it's a Lima.

• 15:26November Kelly?

  Kicking this kid out of foaming.

• 15:28Liam McAnderson?

  Wait, my, my wife goes, my sweet, wonderful wife, ready goes, you know, I used to hate that kid, you know, when I was watching this movie as a child. And then I grew up and I married that kid and, and now, and now I've, I've married to that kid and that kid's best friend is, is, is also like that. And I was like, yep, it's me and Roz, baby.

• 15:49Liam McAnderson?

  Do the news.

• 15:51Justin Roczniak?

  All right. It's time for the goddamn news.

• 15:53November Kelly?

  New mixer. It's kind of a lucky dip here.

• 16:01November Kelly?

  That is, that, that, that is a drop of a guy saying Fruit Loops from the film In Order of Disappearance. Because of Kill James Bond. Thank you.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  That's, that's your job Nova is to, is to have shit like that just on deck.

• 16:17Liam McAnderson?

  Chaos. Yeah.

• 16:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I like to think of myself as a kind of like confounding factor.

• 16:24Liam McAnderson?

  I, I also like to think of myself that way. And while Roz tries bravely to keep this narrative going, I just like derailing it, but.

• 16:31Justin Roczniak?

  So we have to talk, of course, about the man of the hour. Luigi Mangione.

• 16:41November Kelly?

  I, I think that.

• 16:43Liam McAnderson?

  There's a non-zero chance this guy listens. Well, there's your problem and saw my tweet about kneeling the United Healthcare CEO over ditch. And then some guy got mad at me two years later because I thought it was funny that he got.

• 16:52November Kelly?

  How, how, how careful do you want me to be about what I say about this? Because I've already said on, on Trash Future that I thought it was good that the guy he killed was killed. And that I don't think he, like this guy Luigi's mansion did anything wrong. And that he should be freed immediately and awarded the keys to the city. Like, I, I think that's clear.

• 17:13Justin Roczniak?

  I, I think Liam and I have discussed several times in the past, we both believe murder is basically morally neutral.

• 17:20Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Co-signed, baby. Yeah.

• 17:24November Kelly?

  Well, they're hitting him with terrorism charges off of this.

• 17:28Justin Roczniak?

  They are hitting him with terrorism charges, yeah.

• 17:30Liam McAnderson?

  You can go into an African-American church in Charleston, South Carolina, kill nine people and try to instigate a A race war. A race war. And yeah, I've seen the tweet about, well, actually, the feds got blah, blah, blah. I don't give a shit. Shut the fuck up.

• 17:41November Kelly?

  And that guy got like Burger King after, after he was like arrested, whereas this guy couldn't even get a McDonald's before he was arrested.

• 17:49Liam McAnderson?

  He had a paper, he had a paper as a McDonald's.

• 17:51November Kelly?

  Without being betrayed by Pennsylvania, the Judas state. Um, and, and like arrested, you know, because somebody tipped off the cops that he was in a McDonald's.

• 18:04Justin Roczniak?

  As the person in the leftist podcast sphere, who has most recently been to Altoona, Pennsylvania, to my knowledge.

• 18:14November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 18:15Justin Roczniak?

  Um, if you were going to get turned in by a minimum wage worker, Altoona is the place it would happen.

• 18:23November Kelly?

  And McDonald's is the chain that it would be at. It's like, had this man gone across the street to a Sheetz, I believe Yeah. they would still be looking for him today. He would be leaving more and more discarded jackets behind, and they'll be tracing him across the country.

• 18:37Justin Roczniak?

  More and more backpacks full of, uh, full of Monopoly money.

• 18:41November Kelly?

  Yeah. I mean, listen, I, I know not everybody.

• 18:44Liam McAnderson?

  Just like a trail of breadcrumbs.

• 18:45November Kelly?

  Not everybody has to be on board with this kind of thing, right? If you're squeamish about that, I'm not going to hold it against you, right? If you want to do the like, you know, the hold hands and be like, why don't we just be friends? Sure, right? But for me personally, knowing a little bit, not even from personal experience, just from like, from friends, from colleagues, from others, uh, who like knowing a little bit about the American health insurance industry, uh, and about American capitalism generally, right? Seeing the CCTV footage, immaculate. Seeing him evade the cops for like a week with like four pins in his fucking spine. Also, very impressive.

• 19:21Justin Roczniak?

  Never ditched the murder weapon.

• 19:23November Kelly?

  No, we're just walking around with a backpack with the manifesto in the backpack with the murder weapon? With the extremely cool murder weapon?

• 19:32Justin Roczniak?

  I think he was trying to get caught at that point. He was like, what the fuck is going on? Why haven't they caught me?

• 19:37Liam McAnderson?

  I, I sort of, that's kind of my thought too. I will say, as somebody who, who has dealt, who's, who, A, has dealt with United Healthcare numerous times. Yeah, I, I, I can't say I'm entirely sympathetic to Brian Thompson. He was a ghoul. And the other thing is my dad spent his, his legal career doing bankruptcies, bankruptcy law, social security and disability law, and spent a lot of, a lot of his time, especially in the pre ACA days, arguing, arguing with judges over whether or not medical debt was real. People go bankrupt over that.

• 20:18November Kelly?

  Yeah, routinely and in a way that like nowhere else in the world.

• 20:22Liam McAnderson?

  I think it's 64% of American bankruptcies are medical debt, but I could be wrong on that.

• 20:27Justin Roczniak?

  It, the, the industry at this point, you know, now that people are living longer, now that, you know, we have more effective treatments for cancer and heart disease and stuff like that, but those treatments are very expensive. You know, we have better treatments for chronic disease, but those are also very expensive. More people are using more healthcare and the health insurance industry is like, I think at this point inherently unsustainable, which is why the entire business model at this point is about denying care.

• 20:57November Kelly?

  I should look at, look at some more industries that are unsustainable and consider if there are ways to make executives not want to work in them anymore.

• 21:03Liam McAnderson?

  Are you talking about, say, the?

• 21:06November Kelly?

  Oh, you know, oil and gas.

• 21:08Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I, I, oh, yeah, okay.

• 21:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 21:10Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I just, yeah, I just.

• 21:11November Kelly?

  Chiefly, but like, there's not a shortage, right?

• 21:13Liam McAnderson?

  Who's to say?

• 21:14November Kelly?

  There's a lot of, there's a lot of stuff to go around. There's a lot of verbs that begin with D. Uh, you know, it's, it's, it's fine.

• 21:22November Kelly?

  The thing, the thing is, right? And the thing that's been troubling me about this, the only thing that's been troubling me about this is he wrote on the shell casings, like, deny, defund, uh, what, fuck, what was it?

• 21:35Liam McAnderson?

  Defend, depose.

• 21:36November Kelly?

  Yeah, right. Which is like the tactics that the insurance industry uses to avoid paying. Out claims. My question is, knowing that he had a magazine depth of like, you know, like seven rounds, did he write anything on the others? And they just were like, you know, was he trying to make that point specifically? What would have happened if he had like missed one and just hit him with the defend, you know?

• 22:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, actually, I would like to have known what was written on the other casings. Yeah.

• 22:06November Kelly?

  You're just like really down into the dregs. You've got a dictionary open to D E and you're just like, what the fuck else did they do?

• 22:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 22:16Liam McAnderson?

  You could do delay. That's another one.

• 22:17November Kelly?

  Destroy, I guess, that's pretty good.

• 22:22Liam McAnderson?

  Defenestrate.

• 22:26November Kelly?

  I feel like that doesn't hit unless you actively defenestrate the guy, right?

• 22:29Liam McAnderson?

  I do like the idea of some bumbling New York City cop with his thumb up his ass being like, yo, boss, this one says defend e strat. What's that mean? As as as Brian Thompson goes crashing through a window.

• 22:43November Kelly?

  What? Obviously, it's a dude's name. You're looking for an Italian dude. As this was, defenestrate.

• 22:49Justin Roczniak?

  Defenestrate, yes. This one says fragile. That must be Italian.

• 22:56November Kelly?

  But yeah, so no, I mean, the thing is, this guy's ideology, I was hoping for a while, while he was while he was ahead of the cops, that he was going to turn out to be the same kind of communist as I am, right? And obviously, that's never going to happen. What's interesting about this guy is, in terms of like radicalization, is that he seems like a completely normal, like, kind of, like, center-right bro type.

• 23:20Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 23:21November Kelly?

  Who has-

• 23:22Justin Roczniak?

  He's like a business success guy. Yeah.

• 23:24November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:24Justin Roczniak?

  Based on his social media. He was like-

• 23:26November Kelly?

  A little bit of like Jordan Peterson, maybe, but like, nothing, you know, nothing even really extreme by today's standards, depressing as that is.

• 23:34Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. You know, the first thing I saw, oh, he made this post about trad architecture. And it's like, you know, after he does, he put together the manifesto pretty good because it's basically an elevator pitch.

• 23:47Justin Roczniak?

  We need these business success guys to take on the mantle of radical politics, I suppose, you know?

• 23:55November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, I'll say this, they do a better job writing manifestos than than do your kind of like Nazi type cranks who always have like a kind of like 80 page PDF with like, you know, sources to all their favorite columnists and shit, whereas this guy is just like three bullet points, you know?

• 24:12Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it's like, well, three, three bullets.

• 24:15November Kelly?

  With that, yeah.

• 24:19Liam McAnderson?

  Guys like Steph fucking Curry out there, dude.

• 24:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 24:21November Kelly?

  Yeah, and and no collateral damage as well. I mean, what else can you say? Now, I feel I feel like this is, um, I mean, obviously the backlash to this is that like CEOs and are going to invest even more in bodyguards and like armored cars and shit like that.

• 24:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 24:40November Kelly?

  But there's nothing they weren't already doing.

• 24:42Liam McAnderson?

  Came to take away our sons.

• 24:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 24:44November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  They might start backing gun control.

• 24:48November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, possibly. I just, I really think that the like, um.

• 24:52Justin Roczniak?

  Now, he 3D printed this weapon, so that cat, that, that's, uh, that, that horse has left the barn.

• 24:58November Kelly?

  Um, I, I think, I think the thing that really struck me was the kind of, across the political spectrum from left to right, there was a pretty broad lack of sympathy with the CEO.

• 25:11Justin Roczniak?

  Um, yeah.

• 25:12November Kelly?

  Because like, almost everybody in in the US has some experience with health insurance companies and it was all like always a negative one.

• 25:21Liam McAnderson?

  Pure molten fucking evil.

• 25:22November Kelly?

  Yeah, because healthcare should be a right, it shouldn't be a like a, a, a commercial good, and it shouldn't be something you have to insure.

• 25:28Justin Roczniak?

  Well, you know, we tried reforming it through the market and we tried reforming it through the market and we tried reforming it through the market. Then there was this old Jewish guy who said, maybe we should nationalize it, and he was beaten to a pulp. And then that happened a second time. Um, and then, uh, and then we tried reforming it through the market. And that still didn't work. So here is a third route.

• 25:51November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, if, if you want to take the kind of live position that what happened was bad, right? Fine, but in that case, you still have to concede that it's something that happened because every other safety valve was shut off.

• 26:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is. This is this is the this is the boiler explosion in process.

• 26:09November Kelly?

  Hmm. I mean, one thing I will say is because this is still like subdued, okay? I know you don't have laws like that in the US because you don't care about trial processes. But like, we don't legally know that this is the guy, right? And I, for one, personally would like to say, I'm sure it's not. In fact, I'm pretty certain I saw this guy in the UK at the time of the killing, like thousands of miles away.

• 26:36November Kelly?

  And, you know, you know, obviously, known personally, close friends, he would never be involved in anything like this. And, you know, I, I, I just, you know, I, I, I think anything that we can do to just reinforce his innocence on a legal basis until the trial is concluded is to the good, you know?

• 26:54Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure.

• 26:55November Kelly?

  I've got a photo of this guy up here, you know, he's just some guy.

• 26:58Justin Roczniak?

  He's just a very handsome man.

• 27:00November Kelly?

  It's not even the same jacket, you know?

• 27:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 27:02November Kelly?

  Eyebrows completely different. Yeah, you know?

• 27:06Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure I saw him down at the, down at the Wawa on the day of. So, yeah, I don't know.

• 27:14Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, I think I saw him in 7-Eleven.

• 27:16Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 27:16November Kelly?

  Just kind of taking the principle.

• 27:18Justin Roczniak?

  Goes to a lot of convenience stores.

• 27:21November Kelly?

  He's, he's a fan, you know, I, I just taking the logic of shoplifting.

• 27:25Liam McAnderson?

  Just like me.

• 27:25November Kelly?

  A step further to say that if you see someone murder the CEO of a health insurance company, no, you didn't.

• 27:34Justin Roczniak?

  I was gonna guess, this is gonna go, this is gonna get us worse from the algorithm than the Aaron Bush.

• 27:42November Kelly?

  It's probably, listen, people, we've been waiting to hear about what we think about this. I think it's pretty obvious what we think about this, you know? I don't think anyone's gonna be surprised.

• 27:52Liam McAnderson?

  Right.

• 27:52November Kelly?

  Or scandalized, but like, I, I, I think we would be doing our listeners a disservice if we didn't lay cards on the table here about this being like, good.

• 28:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, this is, uh, this is, uh, this is the reality of when, you know, this industry has been so out of control for so long and so directly damaging to people's lives.

• 28:14November Kelly?

  Right. If you make peaceful change impossible.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  And I've been quiet through this one, but I, the thing that I see this is this is a bit of a canary in the coal mine. And we talked about, you know, we've talked extensively in various places and lots of discussion about CEOs kind of putting the barricades up even higher, but sorry, guys, it won't work. But this is just, this is a hint of what happens. Like, given that liberal democracy is essentially failing as a process by which people are represented. This is kind of the, like, the way to avoid this happening more is to make, is to actually start doing things as governments, you know, making people's lives actually better rather than just, yeah, this is the inevitable outcome, folks. So, hi there, all liberal politicians. If you want this to not happen, then maybe start doing some things that make individual people's lives better. Just a tip.

• 29:01Justin Roczniak?

  Healthcare, housing, education, transportation.

• 29:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:07Justin Roczniak?

  God, if only. In other news.

• 29:11November Kelly?

  Uh.

• 29:15November Kelly?

  Speaking of, speaking of bad things happening to bad people, um.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  It's Kirsten Palmer. Oh, no, no, it's not.

• 29:22November Kelly?

  It's, it's another authoritarian leader.

• 29:26Justin Roczniak?

  You're gonna have to get your eyes checked. And guess who can check them for you?

• 29:33November Kelly?

  Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's another authoritarian leader sort of widely despised by his population. Um, yeah. So, so it turns out that like, um, uh, invading Ukraine in a, you know, year plus three day special military operation really degrades your capacity to, to prop up your friends in the Middle East, uh, which is something that Russia has just found out. Uh, Iran also is like reeling from like strike from Hezbollah. Uh, and so consequently, this, this has led to the fall of Assad in Syria, which good fucking riddens.

• 30:10Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I'm glad I never.

• 30:12November Kelly?

  Side fuck off.

• 30:13Justin Roczniak?

  Glad I never volunteered an opinion on this before, because I probably would have gone with a stupid contrarian one.

• 30:19November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, I did back in back in the day, because I remember when a lot of the like online left and, you know, fucking Chapo Trap House on down. Was very much into the idea of like, oh, this is kind of like, okay, he's not great, but whatever you feel about him, you know, it's like an anti imperialist thing. And, you know, what are you a big fan of NATO? And it's like, no, if you look at the shit that this guy was doing, you know, it's, it's like the fact that he was doing it in a camp that is opposite to like, you know, the US or the UK is or whatever. Doesn't mean it's a good or acceptable thing to be doing when you're pulling people out of like torture prisons. You're like, well, fuck this guy, you know, like, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna spend any time burnishing his anti imperialist credentials because he doesn't fucking have any.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  Other people can be bad, too.

• 31:06November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah, I think there was, there was a lot of like, I remember a lot of jokes, I probably did a couple about like, you know, the white helmets or whatever the fuck else. Because I was listening to Radio Warnerd and convincing myself that Rania Kalik was like a worthwhile person to listen to on any of this shit. And I just, it's, it's like, I think as, you know, I'm deeply embarrassed by that now. And as time's gone on, I'm just kind of like in this situation where as kind of skeptical as I am, I think for good reasons about the new guys who are in charge.

• 31:40Justin Roczniak?

  The new guys seem a little bit sketchy. Yeah.

• 31:44November Kelly?

  Whack.

• 31:44Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, especially since in the South, the new guys are Israel, apparently.

• 31:48November Kelly?

  Yeah. Israel has like grabbed some more of Syria, Turkey is bombing the Kurds. It's like, it's a mess, but it's still all preferable to just Assadism forever, right? And that's something that's been sort of like an unresolved question for well over a decade at this point. Because Assad's always kind of like pitch to people was, I'm the guarantor of, you know, security and like après moi, le déluge. And I hope that that's not the case, you know, I hope that as chaotic as it is, as like bad as it is, that I hope it doesn't get worse. But also, you know, that's the same logic that every dictator's ever used and it's not, it's not enough, you know?

• 32:29Speaker 03

  It's a moment of change, a moment of potential. You know, potential escape trajectory, potential opportunity, potential hope. There were an awful lot of very happy people in Syria, you know, in Damascus. There was a lot of very happy people with this happening and that stands for something, right? That's, there's a moment that they can capture. I don't know. I, I, we wait and see. There was, there was an immediate coziness with the, with the West when it happened. But frankly, I can kind of understand why. I could kind of understand that you're kind of like, well, you know, let's not burn all our bridges now. Let's, so I, I don't know. I, I think this is one where, you know, what's a good idea for all of us here is to, to let Syria get on with it for a little bit and do our best not to fuck around with it. That feels from a geopolitics perspective, let's just keep, let's, yeah.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Or actually what might be more helpful is to tell Turkey and Israel to do one.

• 33:18Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice to be able to, you know, tell Israel to do anything, but you know.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  Well, quite.

• 33:25Liam McAnderson?

  It's more genocide.

• 33:26Justin Roczniak?

  Yep.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:28November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, it is, it is sort of like inadvertently or like, you know, a huge, another huge win for Israel, right? Which has been continually rewarded for everything that it's done, including the genocide.

• 33:42Justin Roczniak?

  Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. I look forward to them reaching the cliff edge, but it doesn't feel like it's coming anytime soon. And you know what? The way the world works, sometimes the bad guys never reach the cliff edge and they just, they're just fine.

• 33:54November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, even with Assad, right? Like he is, he's like, you know, out of Syria, but he's got asylum in, in Russia. So he's just going to be like, you know, chilling in Moscow, which is.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  Even his like kooky, kooky family members that he abandoned got out okay. So like everyone seems to have got out, like, what was it like some cousin or something that escaped that he doesn't like that escaped in a military helicopter was.

• 34:16November Kelly?

  Oh God, probably, yeah. Yeah, I think, I think his brother's in Iraq right now supposedly. It's, it's a mess.

• 34:22Justin Roczniak?

  Just walked out.

• 34:23November Kelly?

  Yeah, it reminds me a bit of the fall of Afghanistan where all the like sort of like ISAF aligned warlords were just like fleeing the country, leaving like convoys of trucks behind them packed full of like ill-gotten gains, you know? I mean, listen, like regardless of like camp, regardless of political bloc, I'm never going to be that sad to see people going through their former leaders like sort of gold plated study and like tearing shit off the walls, you know?

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Hell yeah.

• 34:54November Kelly?

  So yeah, we'll see.

• 34:55Justin Roczniak?

  We'll see what happens, yeah.

• 34:57November Kelly?

  Yeah, too early to say, I feel, you know, and as the line goes, condemned to hope, right?

• 35:05Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, let's, let's, let's hope this is a nicer Al Qaeda. But we, we saved the most important news for last.

• 35:18November Kelly?

  Of course.

• 35:19Justin Roczniak?

  All right, so it's 2024 Hess truck. What do we think?

• 35:25Liam McAnderson?

  Go off, King.

• 35:26November Kelly?

  Yeah, I like this, I like this.

• 35:27Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, it's, it's, it's much better than last year's, which if you remember was like a

• 35:33Liam McAnderson?

  Fascism mobile, yeah.

• 35:34Justin Roczniak?

  It was the fascism mobile. It had like a heavily armored police car and a heavily armored truck to bring it around in. This is, we have the fire truck.

• 35:41Liam McAnderson?

  Pursuit Mustang, this looks like.

• 35:43Justin Roczniak?

  The souped up fire chief car.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  It's like a DeLorean Mustang kind of had a little baby there. I like that, that's, that's very nice.

• 35:51Liam McAnderson?

  This just screams, I didn't have to license this from Ford, shut up.

• 35:54Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 35:55November Kelly?

  The truck in particular, I like is a kind of like, it really, they've been reading, someone at Hess has been reading all those Yimby guy Twitter threads that like American fire trucks are too big. We gotta have smaller ones like everyone else because they've kind of compacted it.

• 36:09Justin Roczniak?

  I think the car can fit in the back of the truck.

• 36:11Liam McAnderson?

  I mean, that's usually how they do it, right?

• 36:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 36:14November Kelly?

  Okay, I mean.

• 36:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I don't know about the motorcycle, but apparently it has wheelie action.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Wheelie action, so they can fully like, this is like a full Italian job sort of arrangement going on here.

• 36:24Liam McAnderson?

  So did you buy this, Raz, or?

• 36:25Justin Roczniak?

  No, no, I'm just, I'm just reviewing the Hess truck.

• 36:29Liam McAnderson?

  As we, as for some reason we do every year.

• 36:32November Kelly?

  That's tradition, you know?

• 36:33Liam McAnderson?

  Forty-five ninety-nine plus tax, suck my dick, bro.

• 36:39Justin Roczniak?

  Look, the Hess truck is expen- it's always been expensive.

• 36:42Liam McAnderson?

  I know. Okay, so the motorcycle does actually go in the truck on the side. You see that little?

• 36:47November Kelly?

  Does, does, does the rider come off with you just like attached to the side of the thing? Okay.

• 36:52Liam McAnderson?

  Yes, this is the door. I'm, I'm on the 60th anniversary page.

• 36:57Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah, I'm looking at it. This is apparently already sold out. Otherwise, I would have the, the various statistics about it.

• 37:04November Kelly?

  That's, uh, that's a handsome.

• 37:06Liam McAnderson?

  Forty-three lights.

• 37:07November Kelly?

  It's a handsome red color. I will say that, like the kind of red.

• 37:10Justin Roczniak?

  That's a lot of lights, yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  How many lights?

• 37:12Liam McAnderson?

  Forty-three.

• 37:13Justin Roczniak?

  Forty-three lights.

• 37:15November Kelly?

  See, I would have gone up to, I would have gone up to sixty for the 60th anniversary, but like, you know.

• 37:21Justin Roczniak?

  The add one light each year?

• 37:22November Kelly?

  Yeah, yeah. It's just, I mean, you start with like one like beacon light and you just go from there, you know?

• 37:28Justin Roczniak?

  Well, I think the first Hess truck didn't have any lights at all.

• 37:31Speaker 03

  Well, no, it didn't. Starting from zero.

• 37:33Liam McAnderson?

  The second one was a boat for some reason.

• 37:35Justin Roczniak?

  Wow.

• 37:36Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it was a Hess, it was a Hess, it was the Hess Voyager, yeah.

• 37:39November Kelly?

  A boat, the truck of the sea.

• 37:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 37:43November Kelly?

  This is nothing. This is absolutely nothing.

• 37:45Liam McAnderson?

  What I don't understand is why they, they went, they, they stopped making like, they just started making fire trucks.

• 37:52Justin Roczniak?

  Well, when my parents used to buy me the Hess truck every year, it was like a tow truck and then it was like, uh,

• 37:57Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 37:58Justin Roczniak?

  It was, I can't remember the rest. Yeah, it was an ambulance.

• 38:00November Kelly?

  It, it's like this is the most.

• 38:02Justin Roczniak?

  Mostly white and green as well.

• 38:04Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying, dude.

• 38:06November Kelly?

  It, it, it's kind of like this is the most respected genre of truck in America. Because everybody, everybody loves sci-fi, except for those Yenbi guys who are like, I want to put them in like a smaller truck. Uh, and like lay off half of them. So like, I, yeah, this, this is like the, this is like patriotic truck, you know?

• 38:24Liam McAnderson?

  They did do a dump truck in 2017.

• 38:27November Kelly?

  Oh, I, I feel like a dump truck is moderately patriotic, but like a fire truck is more patriotic than a dump truck.

• 38:33Speaker 03

  Um, I, I, I do like the original, like, like Steven Spielberg jewel era, like, uh, like truck. That is quite nice. I, I am.

• 38:44November Kelly?

  Oh, like a tractor trailer? Yeah, okay.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 38:47Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah, the big, the big Mack truck. Yeah.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:51Liam McAnderson?

  That's how maximum overdrive started.

• 38:53November Kelly?

  I mean, I do. I do have a problem with this in that with the livery, it is kind of normalizing a creeping kind of like fire privatization. This looks like the private fire brigade of Hess.

• 39:03Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:03November Kelly?

  Because of the branding, you know, there's no, there's no kind of like municipal link there, you know?

• 39:08Justin Roczniak?

  One of, one of those private fire brigades that like big chemical plants have. Yeah.

• 39:11November Kelly?

  Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. These, these guys are all wearing like six layers of hazmat suit in there.

• 39:16Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, these, these guys are about to go fight the nastiest fire you can imagine.

• 39:22November Kelly?

  Yeah, that's how they got the DeLorean Mustang for the chief, you know? Municipal fire departments. Shit, I mean, they can barely even pay people. Most of them are volunteers. So, you know?

• 39:32Justin Roczniak?

  I will walk directly into the hydrogen fluoride cloud.

• 39:37November Kelly?

  Doing, doing sick burnouts in my DeLorean Mustang in a cloud of HF. I just, they just melt. My skeleton falls out of the door of the car.

• 39:50November Kelly?

  When the smoke clears, I'm just a thin soup in the bottom of the fucking mats.

• 39:55Justin Roczniak?

  I should have said it to recirculate.

• 40:05November Kelly?

  You think that's bad? The bike guy's having a worse time.

• 40:08Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, my God. Oh, he's got, he, he's, he's got a air tank on his back.

• 40:13November Kelly?

  That's true. That is true.

• 40:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 40:16November Kelly?

  But no visible hoses. It's just a regular bike helmet. So like, I'm thinking he's gonna have a bad time.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  I don't think he's doing all right. I, I'm just tracing down through years. So year, year of our birth, Nova.

• 40:26November Kelly?

  1990 motherfucking one.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  1990 motherfucking one. It appears to be a Lotus Elan as the accompanying vehicle with the, uh, with the S-truck, which, which is, that's, by the way, for anyone who doesn't, Liam, without any words, Liam just very politely dropped in the, uh, the link to all of the historic Hess trucks. And all of us obviously opened it and have been tracing up and down.

• 40:48November Kelly?

  Of course.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  While it's recording a podcast. There's just a little, little peek behind the curtain, everyone there.

• 40:52Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, inside baseball, which is just, Roz, you didn't open the link, did you?

• 40:55Justin Roczniak?

  No, I did open the link.

• 40:56Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, good.

• 40:57Justin Roczniak?

  Just now.

• 40:58Liam McAnderson?

  Okay.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  Check on screen for everyone.

• 41:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, now I'm looking all the Hess trucks. Oh, it was a Hess monster truck?

• 41:07Liam McAnderson?

  We're never gonna get through this.

• 41:08Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, man.

• 41:08November Kelly?

  Actually, I think.

• 41:10Justin Roczniak?

  It was a Hess space shuttle truck.

• 41:11Liam McAnderson?

  I know, I know. I think I had, no, wait, I had, the one I can remember having is 95. No, I had 99. I had the space shuttle truck. I had 95 and I didn't have 97 or 98 and I had 2001. I remember the helicopter.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  I liked my plane in 2002.

• 41:27Liam McAnderson?

  I like the Hess Chinok.

• 41:29November Kelly?

  I, I, I like number nine. I like 1993, the, the like Crown Vic type.

• 41:34Justin Roczniak?

  There was a Hess Winnebago in 1980.

• 41:38November Kelly?

  The 93 one, just, it, it, it's like a cop car, but it still says Hess gasoline on the side. And it's like, that, that kind of like speaks to the like, you know, the Bush era liberalism thing of being like, it's all about oil, man. When you get pulled over for drunk driving, that, that fully like hits that is like, yeah, of course.

• 41:56Justin Roczniak?

  Oil. I'm trying to, I'm trying to figure out what Hess truck I had. It might've been the, the helicopter one in 95. I don't know.

• 42:02November Kelly?

  I was shit talking. I had an F-35.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  I was shit talking the boat, but you know what? As someone who spent a lot of my time as a kid playing with Lego and using the two by four blocks I had to create a, to create boats that famously aren't square. Um, I actually am a big fan of the 1990s, the 1966 tanker. I think that's actually very nice.

• 42:23November Kelly?

  Your, your, your modern Lego boat uses a one-piece molded plastic hull.

• 42:26Speaker 03

  That's bullshit. That is bullshit. That's absolute bullshit. You, you, how do you know how to make a nice hull when you kind of grid it out? You know, I've made some beautiful boats in my time.

• 42:35Justin Roczniak?

  They like floated in the bathtub though.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true.

• 42:38Justin Roczniak?

  And then you lost a bunch of pieces down the drain at the end of the day.

• 42:41Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. You guys know you can buy a Lego model of the endurance, right?

• 42:45Justin Roczniak?

  Huh.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  I know that you could buy a Lego model of a, of a Concord. Funny story. I was in a station, I was in the airport in Luton and I was going, you know what? When I get back on the flight back from Luton, I might, I might buy the, I might buy this Concord. Unfortunately, in that, I was in Serbia, seeing family. Unfortunately, that trip is when I was told I was suspended with pay. Um, and I decided that buying a Concord maybe wasn't a good use of my limited funds at that point.

• 43:09November Kelly?

  It's like coming back.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  One of the first things I would do when I get paid again.

• 43:12November Kelly?

  Two pieces of news.

• 43:15Justin Roczniak?

  Look at this Concord.

• 43:16November Kelly?

  First piece of news is really good. Uh, we, we own this now.

• 43:21Liam McAnderson?

  I am struggling through building 911. I know that that that sentence doesn't make sense, but I have a Lego 911. Not not the twin towers collapsing the car.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  Oh, I see. Okay, right.

• 43:33November Kelly?

  I was genuinely just.

• 43:35Justin Roczniak?

  I bought I bought the Lego 911.

• 43:37November Kelly?

  I I pictured I pictured you just kind of like.

• 43:40Justin Roczniak?

  Comes with the exclusive Mohammed Atta mini figure.

• 43:46November Kelly?

  Just turning around to put another piece on my south tower diorama is just like.

• 43:54Justin Roczniak?

  It comes with a George W. Bush one, too. And he sold him a little book upside down.

• 44:00November Kelly?

  It's like opening the booklets. And I'm like, why are there a bunch of C4s in here?

• 44:04Speaker 03

  Okay, Hogs, get on Lego Ideas. Make it happen.

• 44:09November Kelly?

  How to get banned from Lego Ideas in one easy step.

• 44:17Justin Roczniak?

  These are other great Christmas gift ideas here on Well, There's Your Problem Podcast.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  Ah, beautiful. Right, let's crack on.

• 44:27Justin Roczniak?

  Let's do let's let's do the show. That was the goddamn news.

• 44:31Liam McAnderson?

  Forty eight minutes in, baby.

• 44:33November Kelly?

  Oh, Christ, is it really? We'll cut most of it.

• 44:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, we won't.

• 44:38November Kelly?

  I will say that we'll cut most of it. And that way people aren't allowed to get mad at me for it being long.

• 44:43Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, there you go. All right, we have to ask a question. What is a parade?

• 44:46November Kelly?

  Marching hopping down the square.

• 44:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 44:50Liam McAnderson?

  You're in high school and you play the cymbals and.

• 44:53November Kelly?

  It's in high school and you've been invited to to like guest in an OK Go video.

• 44:58Liam McAnderson?

  New York, Pennsylvania, Halloween parade, and then you you want to kill yourself for the entire three and a half miles. It's fun.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  You make a whole bunch. Yeah, you make a whole bunch of nice uniforms and then you want to show them off.

• 45:11November Kelly?

  Hmm, you can other uses of parades. You can celebrate gay rights, for instance.

• 45:16Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Hells, yeah.

• 45:18November Kelly?

  You could you could do like a carnival, you know, if you're in a kind of a place that does those like Mardi Gras.

• 45:25Justin Roczniak?

  You can celebrate the immortal science of Marxism Leninism.

• 45:29November Kelly?

  Yeah, as I do at every Mardi Gras. You could get like, I'm on the like, what's the fucking bullshit like NASB? The American Communist Party, I'm on the American Communist Party Mardi Gras crew.

• 45:47November Kelly?

  We've got to float with the big like polygonal like Lincoln heads.

• 45:51Justin Roczniak?

  That would be so fucking grim.

• 45:56November Kelly?

  We're not throwing beads at anybody because that's bourgeois degeneracy.

• 46:00Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly.

• 46:02Speaker 03

  You can, you can, you can parade four trains in the same direction, southwards on the East Coast Main Line. That one really rare time that I think I've shown in a picture on the Grey Heck episode years ago.

• 46:14November Kelly?

  You can parade TGVs as SNC acted.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  Yes, yep.

• 46:19Justin Roczniak?

  You have a military parade, you bring a bunch of tanks out and destroy the pavement.

• 46:24November Kelly?

  You can have an aircraft parade, you can, you can do that. As I actually walked out into one of those ones, I was in central London. I don't remember what it was, like the, I don't know, Queen's Birthday or something.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  One of the Queen's birthdays that she used to have, because she had like three throughout the year. And I never got which one was the real one.

• 46:40November Kelly?

  Yeah, and I was walking down central London and got like a fly pass got like overflowed by a bunch of like typhoons and F-35s. So I was just like, oh shit. So yeah, you could, you could do that. You can do any number of things. You can have a marshal for a parade, which is when you give someone a sash and they like lead to the thing.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  So what is the essence? You make a bunch of shit all go in the same direction. And that shit can be anything.

• 47:06Justin Roczniak?

  It's there so you can show off your stuff and your guys.

• 47:09November Kelly?

  Yep. Yeah, you know, just a fun activity.

• 47:14Justin Roczniak?

  You have a victory parade, you can have a mummers parade, you can have all kinds of parades.

• 47:19November Kelly?

  What itself first attested 1650s as a show of bravado.

• 47:24Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, definitely got a lot of that.

• 47:28Justin Roczniak?

  But in terms of what we now know is the Thanksgiving parade or Thanksgiving Day Parade. It started as a Christmas parade and none other than Gimbel's Department Store.

• 47:36Liam McAnderson?

  We had the first dickheads.

• 47:38Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, Gimbel Brothers Department Store in Philadelphia.

• 47:41November Kelly?

  It's not the first department store. The first department store was Le Montmartre in Paris and like fucking.

• 47:47Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, but this was the first one with the parade.

• 47:50November Kelly?

  Okay, sure. Fine. Aristide Busico did not have a parade. He didn't invent shopping though.

• 47:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, they did invent shopping.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very nice street car there that we're obviously not going to talk about at all. I do however want to talk about, and I know we're about to, but it's on the screen and therefore appalling my eyes. What's this like carry on film motherfucker doing in the the old timey car on two wheels?

• 48:11Liam McAnderson?

  Cause oh, Top Gear shit.

• 48:13Justin Roczniak?

  I'll get to that in one second.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Okay, right. Everyone just hold, just get excited about that. Like edge of seat shit. What's going on?

• 48:20Justin Roczniak?

  In Philly, we had at first the Gimbel's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 1920. There were a bunch of marching bands. There were people doing stunts in the streets in little cars. There were horrible papier-mache grotesques. You can see down here.

• 48:33Speaker 03

  Horrible.

• 48:34Justin Roczniak?

  Amazing performance right, right on Market Street. One of the funny things about this, as far as I can tell from the photographs, they did not shut down the street for the parade.

• 48:45November Kelly?

  No barriers.

• 48:46Liam McAnderson?

  I have another question. Wasn't this right in the middle? Wasn't this right in the middle of Spanish Flu till 1920?

• 48:54Justin Roczniak?

  Probably, yeah.

• 48:55November Kelly?

  You can feel better about your like, you know, polio by sort of like having your iron lung wheeled to the no safety barriers. Like driving on two wheels bullshit papier-mache situation.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Can you imagine being the guy just like one, you're like in the Model T Ford behind that guy, just like, like a couple of car lengths just in traffic?

• 49:16November Kelly?

  You're trying to get to work. You're just like for fuck's sake.

• 49:19Justin Roczniak?

  Trying to, trying to dodge this guy and the street cars.

• 49:24Justin Roczniak?

  The finale of the parade involves Santa Claus climbing a fire department ladder truck directly to the eighth floor toy department of the department store.

• 49:35November Kelly?

  Okay, that's a pretty cool bit.

• 49:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  And therein began the tradition of people climbing up poles in the street in Philadelphia.

• 49:42Justin Roczniak?

  I think that started earlier.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. Yeah, maybe it did.

• 49:46Liam McAnderson?

  I don't know. I was trying to find the Wiki for for the Thanksgiving Day Parade and I stumbled upon a future episode. In addition to the future episode mentioned in the slide in which Cal and Stanford just killed each other and 23 people died.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Huh.

• 50:00Liam McAnderson?

  Yes, continue.

• 50:03Justin Roczniak?

  Now, this this department store is notable because it's the founder's son Frederick A. Gimbel personally lobbied Congress to move Thanksgiving back a week to make more time for Christmas shopping.

• 50:14November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, the thing about Gimbel is that he was really kind of a fixed point. A lot of other stuff kind of like wobbled around him.

• 50:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 50:24Justin Roczniak?

  You know, this, this, but the Thanksgiving Day Parade was one of the first attempts to do, you know, really, really encourage people come, come buy toys at the department store. This is at Ninth and Market, which is now the Disney Hole, which is a future episode.

• 50:37November Kelly?

  The what?

• 50:38Justin Roczniak?

  The Disney Hole.

• 50:40Liam McAnderson?

  The Disney Hall.

• 50:42Justin Roczniak?

  The Disney Hole.

• 50:43November Kelly?

  Is it?

• 50:44Liam McAnderson?

  Don't explain.

• 50:45November Kelly?

  I'm picturing like one half of the 9/11 memorial, but it's it's got like instead of the the fountain, it's just got like a pair of Mickey Mouse's ears.

• 50:54Liam McAnderson?

  You're pretty close, but we'll we'll get to that.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  I was visualizing something scribbled on the inside of a cubicle, the Disney Hole, and then I put an arrow to a hole.

• 51:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. The entire block of buildings here was demolished and later Disney came and were like, we're gonna do a new urban Disneyland experience. And then they dug out a foundation and then they abandoned the site.

• 51:15November Kelly?

  Disney Quest, yeah.

• 51:16Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, filled it up with dirt. I put a parking lot on it.

• 51:20Liam McAnderson?

  And it's sinking now.

• 51:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, the parking lot is just sinking now.

• 51:22November Kelly?

  So so less the 9/11 memorial, more ground zero.

• 51:26Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 51:27November Kelly?

  Incredible.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  Heading towards ground minus one at this point, by the way.

• 51:32November Kelly?

  Why do they call it ground zero? It is clearly at a basement level. Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 51:37Justin Roczniak?

  So this is picked up by a few other department stores, most notably Macy's in New York City.

• 51:44November Kelly?

  I've heard of them.

• 51:45Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, so.

• 51:46November Kelly?

  And no.

• 51:47Justin Roczniak?

  In Macy's first Marathon of Mirth, where floats based on nursery rhyme stories, the most elaborate of which featured Santa Claus riding his sleigh on a mountain of ice and snow. Filling the space between the floats were tumbling clowns, bareback riders, freaks, cowboys and girls, other merry makers. Live animals from the Central Park Zoo were brought in to create an impromptu circus featuring lions, monkeys and camels. Walter F. Donner, a ringmaster turned assistant superintendent of delivery at Macy's, organized the circus division of the parade that included thirty-five clowns refereeing a wrestling match between two grizzly bears in an open cage.

• 52:32November Kelly?

  You're just, you are John Macy or whoever the fuck and you just handed a telegram that just says grizzly bear has eaten cowgirl.

• 52:42Justin Roczniak?

  It's like, ah, acceptable loss.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  When you said cowboys and girls, I was like, cowboys and girls, as in they just had girls.

• 52:51November Kelly?

  Yeah, girls and cow. No, no, no one's got a girl before. Just like, check this shit out, women.

• 52:57Justin Roczniak?

  Women.

• 52:58November Kelly?

  Wow. I'm, I'm a little depressed by the inclusion of the freaks as well, like. Yeah.

• 53:05Justin Roczniak?

  You mean us?

• 53:06November Kelly?

  I guess the podcast float in the Macy's Day Parade. Which is what, it's just all three of us, like astronauts in the back of a limo getting a ticker tape parade, but just waving.

• 53:16Justin Roczniak?

  That was direct from the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

• 53:19November Kelly?

  I would hate to get a ticker tape parade, right? Cause you're never getting that shit out of your clothes or hair. Yes. Like, you, you know, I don't care if I've been to the moon, like, why would you want me to do that? Just dump a bunch of shit on me, like a bunch of shit paper. It's like, thanks, cheers, thank you. Hooray.

• 53:40Justin Roczniak?

  This started at 145th Street and

• 53:42November Kelly?

  Traditional New York celebration where we dump a bunch of office garbage on you.

• 53:48Liam McAnderson?

  And in their culture, it's a side of great art.

• 53:51November Kelly?

  It's like, that was a pack of staples, dude.

• 53:55Justin Roczniak?

  Just throwing staplers at you from, from the 60th floor.

• 54:00Liam McAnderson?

  Which New York copies us. We did it first.

• 54:04Justin Roczniak?

  Tossing a box of batteries out, whole reams of printer paper.

• 54:10November Kelly?

  Neil Armstrong in the side of the head with a AAA battery.

• 54:17Justin Roczniak?

  Throw an office chair, throw a desk.

• 54:21November Kelly?

  You'll see a fax machine go down and you're like, well, I guess there's not going to be an Apollo 14.

• 54:27Justin Roczniak?

  Big reel to reel computer bank.

• 54:32Liam McAnderson?

  Oh no. And like $3 million, three megabyte hard drive, the size of a fucking storage closet.

• 54:39Justin Roczniak?

  20, 20 pound mechanical adding machine.

• 54:48Justin Roczniak?

  One of, one of the girls who does the spreadsheets, you just throw her out.

• 54:54November Kelly?

  Back to defenestration again.

• 54:55Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 54:56Liam McAnderson?

  Oh yeah, well, yeah.

• 54:57Justin Roczniak?

  So this parade started at 145th Street and Convent Avenue in Harlem, and it ended six miles later at the Macy's Herald Square store. There were float spans and borrowed zoo animals, concluding with, as always, Santa Claus. A quarter of a million people turned out to watch the parade because it was 1924 and no one had social media yet.

• 55:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's fuck all to do, that's it.

• 55:21Liam McAnderson?

  A million thrills, a million laughs, a million thrills of fun.

• 55:25November Kelly?

  Was 1924 still prohibition times? Because like, that would explain a few things.

• 55:29Speaker 03

  Also, everyone was sober. Oh my god.

• 55:32Liam McAnderson?

  No, everyone was drunk, but they had to lie about it.

• 55:35November Kelly?

  And like drunk off of the most illicit, like sawdust filled grain alcohol.

• 55:41Justin Roczniak?

  There's definitely, definitely a

• 55:42Liam McAnderson?

  Riot juice.

• 55:43Justin Roczniak?

  Strong chance of blindness.

• 55:45November Kelly?

  Yeah, you're like coughing up like You'd like lemon peels and shit and you're just like.

• 55:51Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 55:53Justin Roczniak?

  This was, uh, this actually wound up replacing the previous festivities, which was the Ragamuffin Parade. Where kids trick or treated dressed as beggars. That became very unpopular during the depression. Some people, you know, went to watch.

• 56:08November Kelly?

  Still staging it during the depression and you're like, listen, listen, I know it's sensitive, right? But like it's an, it's an old tradition. It's fine. And you just have a bunch of kids dressed like Charlie Chaplin.

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Enough of your D E I, uh, bull crap parade.

• 56:24November Kelly?

  You can't, you can't even, these days you can't even dress as Charlie Chaplin's beloved tramp character. Merely because people are starving.

• 56:34Justin Roczniak?

  This route was later shortened to 110th and Amsterdam Avenue in the 30s for reasons we'll get into. After World War II and the parade was suspended for wartime material rationing. It was shortened to 77th and Central Park West.

• 56:47November Kelly?

  See the mahuhu? What the fuck is a mahuhu?

• 56:51Speaker 03

  I was asking that, yeah.

• 56:52November Kelly?

  Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just reading through.

• 56:55Justin Roczniak?

  You're gonna have to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade to see the mahuhu, cuz I don't know what it is.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  I know Wiki, I know Wiki that might answer that question.

• 57:04November Kelly?

  Parade FOMAs? No. Like, if, if you are a parade FOMA, like, first of all, thank you for your service. Second of all, what the fuck is a mahuhu?

• 57:12Justin Roczniak?

  All right, we gotta know what the mahuhu is.

• 57:14Speaker 03

  Answers in the comments, folks.

• 57:16November Kelly?

  Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look into this very strongly in my own time.

• 57:21Justin Roczniak?

  So here's a guy.

• 57:23November Kelly?

  A rhinoceros.

• 57:24Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 57:26November Kelly?

  That.

• 57:26Justin Roczniak?

  The mahuhu's a rhinoceros.

• 57:28Liam McAnderson?

  I, I gotta tell you, the, uh, the, the guy, the, the balloon top right feels like it's targeting.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 57:38Liam McAnderson?

  It does. I, I know it's, you know, it's not all about me, but that just feels like, you know, I don't know.

• 57:45November Kelly?

  Problematic.

• 57:46Liam McAnderson?

  Problematic.

• 57:47November Kelly?

  It's, yeah.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Things that that, that's representing at the time. Let's, yeah.

• 57:53November Kelly?

  Can we, can we, can I, can I say one thing, which is that this is reflective of a time before Mickey Mouse dominance? When the most recognizable cartoon character in America to like America. Was Felix the cat, someone no one has ever thought about since.

• 58:07Liam McAnderson?

  I do like that this guy.

• 58:09November Kelly?

  Some bomb disposal guys.

• 58:10Liam McAnderson?

  It's basically, uh, oh God, what's his, uh, who is the doctor that the Mossad kidnapped?

• 58:15November Kelly?

  Oh God, um, you're testing.

• 58:19Liam McAnderson?

  Ickman, Ickman, Ickman.

• 58:20November Kelly?

  This, yeah. I didn't, I didn't go to Adolf Ickman when you said doctor is the problem.

• 58:26Liam McAnderson?

  I got him, I got him confused with.

• 58:29November Kelly?

  Was a doctor, right? I think, but like chiefly known for other work.

• 58:33Liam McAnderson?

  Right, right. Of course. I, I just, I'm seeing born in Guatemala, family moved back to Germany. And I'm just thinking, ah, he reversed Ickman himself, which may explain the top rate balloon.

• 58:44Justin Roczniak?

  Tony Sarg was born in Guatemala in 1880. His family moved back to Germany in 1887. He went to a military academy, commissioned in as a lieutenant. And because he possessed charisma and a sense of humor.

• 58:59November Kelly?

  Makes a terrible lieutenant.

• 59:01Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, he was the center of attention at parties. He was a well-known practical joker, generally an all-around good guy. He was extremely unpopular in the German officer corps.

• 59:10Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 59:11November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm looking at him right now. He doesn't have a bunch of like fucking fencing scars.

• 59:15Liam McAnderson?

  I'm sorry, I said that he was a reverse Ickman. My bad.

• 59:19November Kelly?

  Well, wouldn't it be a better thing to be a reverse Ickman?

• 59:22Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 59:24November Kelly?

  If you had to, if you had to be an Ickman in either direction, presumably reverse would be.

• 59:28Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 59:28November Kelly?

  The less evil one.

• 59:30Justin Roczniak?

  So he resigned his commission and moved to the UK in 1905. He married Bertha Eleanor McGowan of Cincinnati in 1909. He moved to Cincinnati in 1914, presumably in anticipation of the subway. Uh, but then the war broke out, right? So he finally wound up in New York City in 1915. Sarg had inherited a whole bunch of puppets from his grandparents and thus developed the fascination with puppetry.

• 59:58November Kelly?

  Anti-Semitic puppets.

• 1:00:02Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it's just like, sorry, we're dead. Please take good care of our collection of racist puppets.

• 1:00:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:00:08Liam McAnderson?

  This feels like, I, I know that you, you get some, some, I hate to single out my mother here. Who can sometimes look like what a Nazi caricature of a Jewish person looks like. And I love my mother. This is, this balloon is pushing it.

• 1:00:23Justin Roczniak?

  He learned from the best in Britain, sort of studied their means of pop.

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  Anti-Semitism.

• 1:00:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, well, you know.

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  We rounded up the Jews and put them in a castle and burned the castle down. So we know, we know, we know what we're doing in this country. Yeah, this is, this is the worst, the worst of the worst, the learn it here. What a place.

• 1:00:43Justin Roczniak?

  The Germans hadn't perfected antisemitism yet.

• 1:00:47Liam McAnderson?

  That was still the domain of the French, I think.

• 1:00:49Justin Roczniak?

  I think so, yeah.

• 1:00:51November Kelly?

  It's like the presidency of the UN Security Council that rotates between countries, you know?

• 1:00:57Justin Roczniak?

  He was commissioned to make a storefront display in 1917 and continued to have a working relationship with Macy's after that fact. And Macy's started to have a problem with their parade. The zoo animals got really tired in ornery on their six mile death march. And that meant they started scaring the kids.

• 1:01:18November Kelly?

  Cowgirls for sustenance, but like you're, you're marching them from Harlem to like Lower Manhattan. And you know, the, the, the streets are terrible. They're constantly getting like staplers thrown at them. You're calling them shit like mahuhus. You can't work under these conditions. Yeah.

• 1:01:35Justin Roczniak?

  You've got like, uh, you got like, uh, paperweights, uh, papers, um, filing cabinets.

• 1:01:41November Kelly?

  Hitting a rhinoceros with a filing cabinet feels like an uneven fight against the filing cabinet. There's not many things you can say that for.

• 1:01:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:50Liam McAnderson?

  My favorite thing about hippopotami, hippopotami is they're, they're herbivores and they kill you basically for fun. Yeah.

• 1:01:58Justin Roczniak?

  For fun. Yeah.

• 1:01:59Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Just like, all right, that's enough of this human. I've no longer.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  Being the most dangerous animal in the continent of Africa is, is apparently true. It's not a fake thing. It is a thing.

• 1:02:11November Kelly?

  Oh yeah, they'll, they'll, they'll charge you. Um, uh, yeah.

• 1:02:14Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, they'll just murder you for no reason.

• 1:02:15Liam McAnderson?

  He slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch a face of God, but it's just an eight year old getting gored to death by a hippo.

• 1:02:20November Kelly?

  Dropping, dropping a filing cabinet vertically and it getting impaled on a rhinoceros horn. It's like.

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  These things have been walking for like hours. They're grouchy. They're angry. They're pissed off. At that point, if I'm already a murder, a murder herbivore, then I'm being a grouchy murderer. Or a mervivore. A mervivore. I was trying to go there and then realized I just didn't have the chops. Charge the fucking crowd, yeah.

• 1:02:45Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, fucking rules, yes. Yes. Oh, first you, first you get poked by the anti-Semitic Hitler balloon and then you get thorned by a riot.

• 1:02:56Justin Roczniak?

  Anti-Semitic balloon replaced the animals.

• 1:02:59November Kelly?

  It's called harm reduction. The anti-Semitic balloon is a historically progressive force.

• 1:03:10Justin Roczniak?

  So Sarg had just the idea in 1928, he and his protege, Bill with one L Baird, wanted to do something big for the parade.

• 1:03:21Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, he's Bill with one L.

• 1:03:24Justin Roczniak?

  We're gonna do big puppets. We're gonna do really big puppets. And that gave us the character balloon. Here's one of the first ones. It's Felix the Cat.

• 1:03:34November Kelly?

  I like Felix the Cat. I'm a fan and I feel like he's been unfairly marginalized by Disney, you know? Like, who even owns Felix the Cat? Nobody. I think it's public domain.

• 1:03:45Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, he was not a Disney property to start out with. I don't know if he was ever a Disney property.

• 1:03:50November Kelly?

  No, he's just like a cat.

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  Loving our mostly unproblematic fave.

• 1:03:56November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Shout out to Felix the Cat.

• 1:03:59Justin Roczniak?

  So he put together some massive balloons. Some of these, the original ones are very small because they were filled with oxygen. But once they figured out, oh, you could fill it with helium, they got really, really big.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  Everyone smokes. That feels interesting.

• 1:04:16November Kelly?

  Weirdly, Felix the Cat was sold to DreamWorks in 2014, but the early versions like this one here are public domain. So we can make this guy right here, the official mascot cartoon character of Well, There's Your Problem.

• 1:04:31Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  Nice. Let's go.

• 1:04:34Justin Roczniak?

  So. Uh, these were massive balloons. Uh, the original ones again is filled with oxygen. Later they were filled with helium. Some of them were 120 feet long. Some of them were 25 feet high, uh, so on and so forth. Uh, these were all built by the Goodyear Rubber Company.

• 1:04:50Speaker 03

  Of course they were.

• 1:04:51Justin Roczniak?

  And they were.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  Shout out to Mia Mulder.

• 1:04:53Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:53November Kelly?

  Hmm. The gummy.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Stop it. Stop it. I said, stop it.

• 1:04:59Justin Roczniak?

  This was an instant and great success. Um, you know, 1929, uh, 1928 parade was the first one where they used helium balloons. Um, we have some illustrations by the man himself.

• 1:05:11November Kelly?

  Helium balloon that just says the stock market's gonna go up forever.

• 1:05:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  Just the Stonks guy, but 1928.

• 1:05:19November Kelly?

  The Hubris Parade.

• 1:05:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:20November Kelly?

  You, you're in Woltersburg, you see the massive Stonks guy go past your window.

• 1:05:27November Kelly?

  And you're just like, yeah, feeling, feeling good about the American century.

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  Wait, why, why are 50% of the, um, animals that look sad that have got a star, a red star attached? What's, what?

• 1:05:41Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, good question.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  I am puzzled.

• 1:05:44Justin Roczniak?

  That's probably the Macy's star.

• 1:05:45Speaker 03

  Oh, okay. Okay. I, I was, I was looking at the baby on the third of the, of this kind of thing. And I was thinking.

• 1:05:51November Kelly?

  Yeah. It's like a little like target marker. It's unsettling. Yeah.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, also they've got the stretchy dog from Toy Story in the one before. So there's some Pixar foreshadow.

• 1:05:59November Kelly?

  No, that's, that's Valdi, the mascot of the 1972 Munich Olympics.

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  Oh golly. I mean, there's a lot going on there. There's a train, you know?

• 1:06:10Justin Roczniak?

  Well, yeah.

• 1:06:12Speaker 03

  I'm not liking the, the character. There's a lot of pointy nose characters that rightly, I believe Liam is, is looking at once again.

• 1:06:19November Kelly?

  And like clearly they have the technology to do other shapes of nose as you can, as you can see from.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  They will do every human they represent, other than Santi Claus with the, the strange, oh my God.

• 1:06:31November Kelly?

  Anti-Semitic Santa Claus is like a weirdly specific.

• 1:06:39Justin Roczniak?

  Here are some of the very early balloons in an airship hangar because they've made them out of the same stuff.

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  They just, they just be drawing, they just be illustrating everything like that then, right?

• 1:06:56November Kelly?

  I'm stuck on guy being anti-Semitic to Santa Claus to be like, oh, you know, he controls the supply of all the presents in the world.

• 1:07:06Speaker 03

  I, why, why, all, why, everything looks that they've all got those eyes that just everything be looking like that then?

• 1:07:13November Kelly?

  They, listen, if you were an animator or artist or whatever in, in like the 1920s and you drew an eye that didn't look like Pac-Man, they killed you.

• 1:07:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, yeah, pretty much, pretty much. It was the style of the time.

• 1:07:28November Kelly?

  The massive bags under the pig's eyes as well.

• 1:07:33Justin Roczniak?

  You know, he's, he's got a severe addiction.

• 1:07:35Speaker 03

  And all the animation at the time was like when they didn't have like elbows and knees. So they're just like flop around. I'm thinking of Olive from Popeye and just like how she moved, like just kind of flopped about the place.

• 1:07:46November Kelly?

  I depicted you as the scandalized Macy balloon and myself as the smug pig balloon.

• 1:07:56Speaker 03

  Oh my God.

• 1:07:57Justin Roczniak?

  Here, here's Sarg blowing up the elephant himself.

• 1:08:01Liam McAnderson?

  That's not where you blow mate.

• 1:08:04November Kelly?

  The like, quality of the rubber on these is so upsetting as well. Like, I don't know if it's just that I haven't seen a modern one up close, but like.

• 1:08:13Liam McAnderson?

  Look at Mickey Mouse's dead, soulless eyes.

• 1:08:17Justin Roczniak?

  This is the first, this is the first Mickey Mouse in the parade.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  Wow. I, what the fuck is the thing on the top?

• 1:08:25November Kelly?

  That's Godzilla.

• 1:08:27Justin Roczniak?

  No, Sarg did this as a practical joke, um, which is he inflated it on the beach in Nantucket and told everyone there was a horrible sea monster on the, on the beach.

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  I like this guy. Drunk on like pure alcohol. So they believed him presumably.

• 1:08:43November Kelly?

  Yeah. You're, you're in fucking like season three of Boardwalk Empire. You, you like leave your like speakeasy for the, seeing daylight for the first time in three weeks and you see this thing floating down the beach.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  The beach.

• 1:09:00Justin Roczniak?

  And then later it was in the parade.

• 1:09:03Speaker 03

  Just geez.

• 1:09:05November Kelly?

  Just like we owned the rubes of Nantucket floating on a banner underneath it.

• 1:09:10Speaker 03

  It's like eldritch horror stuff. Everyone immediately got like absolute, oh, I suppose everyone was just seeing people getting smeared across the road every couple of hours. So maybe they were just kind of an old stuff. But like, this is, this is like nightmare shit.

• 1:09:24November Kelly?

  Well, I mean, this is, this is prime Lovecraft times. So it's like, it's like, this isn't horror. Horror is when someone is like, you know, mixed race.

• 1:09:33Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:09:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:35Justin Roczniak?

  This, this makes, uh, this makes Lovecraft look like the Reverend Audrey.

• 1:09:44Justin Roczniak?

  And so in the early days, at the end of the parade, when they reached the Herald Square store here, um, they would simply release the balloons.

• 1:09:52November Kelly?

  Oh, hell yeah. That's, that's God's problem now.

• 1:09:54Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:56November Kelly?

  He's gonna meet Mickey Mouse and a fucking sea monster.

• 1:10:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:03November Kelly?

  1928, immediately after the Stonks guy goes up to heaven, they release the sea monster in a kind of like tribute to American hubris to find and kill God.

• 1:10:21Justin Roczniak?

  So yeah, when the parade reached the Herald Square store, the balloons were simply released with a $50 reward for anyone who subsequently found them and brought them back. This leads to all sorts of problems, right? First, people would try and bring back random pieces of rubber and say, this is part of the balloon. Give me a partial reward.

• 1:10:40Speaker 03

  Incredible.

• 1:10:41Justin Roczniak?

  The second problem was daredevils.

• 1:10:44Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:10:45Justin Roczniak?

  Clarence Chamberlain caught a balloon with his plane in 1931 in a stunt.

• 1:10:51November Kelly?

  Oh my God, that's so sick. You would never talk about anything else.

• 1:10:54Justin Roczniak?

  No, yeah.

• 1:10:54November Kelly?

  You wouldn't. Like, I flew up in a fucking biplane and like clothes lined the sea monster.

• 1:11:02Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I, I fucking, I fucking took out Pikachu.

• 1:11:07November Kelly?

  F-35 pilot painting a little Pikachu.

• 1:11:13November Kelly?

  I'm F-22 pilot because like.

• 1:11:17Speaker 03

  Pikachu.

• 1:11:19Justin Roczniak?

  Fuck, fucking smoked Garfield.

• 1:11:22November Kelly?

  There is, there is no reason the Chinese spy balloon couldn't have been in Garfield form. Other than copyright, I guess.

• 1:11:30Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, the Chinese don't, the Chinese don't recognize that. Maybe they do, I don't know.

• 1:11:34November Kelly?

  No air force base you look up is Garfield.

• 1:11:38Justin Roczniak?

  Is that Garfield up there?

• 1:11:42Justin Roczniak?

  By God, is that Garfield's music?

• 1:11:49November Kelly?

  In 19. Garfield trailed sensor array of cameras and shit.

• 1:11:59Justin Roczniak?

  In 1932, the next year, a more novice daredevil attempted the same to catch a balloon with her plane.

• 1:12:08Justin Roczniak?

  Stalled, plummeted out of the air, nearly crashed, managed to pull out of it at the last second.

• 1:12:14November Kelly?

  Another hell for women's equality in the early days, you know?

• 1:12:17Justin Roczniak?

  Well, you know, you needed, you know, they, we, we let women fly planes, but we don't let them vote.

• 1:12:23November Kelly?

  Make it make sense.

• 1:12:24Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. That ended the practice of releasing the balloons. They were simply deflated from then on.

• 1:12:31November Kelly?

  Just like we, we ritually kill Felix the cat at the entrance to Macy's to his, his blood sacrifice like renews the Macy's toy department success for another year.

• 1:12:41Speaker 03

  Yes. I, I, I am, I'm hoping that this black and white image is, is just misrepresenting the colors of the balloons. Because otherwise, an awful lot of them look a bit like gollywog caricatures.

• 1:12:55November Kelly?

  As far as racist balloons go, I will say, the United Kingdom, the only country I believe to have produced a gollywog hot air balloon, still exists.

• 1:13:08November Kelly?

  And I, I like, imagine seeing that come over the fucking horizon and realizing the nature of the country you're in.

• 1:13:17Justin Roczniak?

  These were mostly very, very colorful.

• 1:13:20Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, I bet they were.

• 1:13:21Justin Roczniak?

  So, yeah.

• 1:13:23Liam McAnderson?

  In ways they're unspeakably offensive.

• 1:13:26Liam McAnderson?

  I mean, listen, I don't mind the Jew balloon, the bajune. But I think they should do it in my image. Like, if we, if we have any friends or listeners in, uh, in charge of the balloons at Basie's, let us know what an estimate is. I'm getting myself into a balloon.

• 1:13:43November Kelly?

  We've got Pikachu, we've got like the, the house from Up, we've got Liam from Well, There's Your Problem.

• 1:13:50Justin Roczniak?

  No, it's at the, uh, it's at the Philadelphia Zoo, the six ABC Jew balloon.

• 1:13:55Liam McAnderson?

  Which is my face projected onto it.

• 1:14:05Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, get at me, Rick Williams.

• 1:14:08Justin Roczniak?

  Back when I worked at the zoo, I, I asked the, the director engineering there, um, what happens if they lost control of the zoo balloon? What if it got loose and he didn't have an answer?

• 1:14:20Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna test their, uh, their metal here.

• 1:14:23Justin Roczniak?

  Well, there's no zoo balloon anymore. They got rid of the zoo balloon.

• 1:14:26Liam McAnderson?

  No, it's, it's still there. It's just gone for the season, dude. Six ABC was on like, six, six, six ABC was on it like three weeks ago, not three weeks ago, but like a couple of months ago, they shot, uh, Adam Joseph there.

• 1:14:37Justin Roczniak?

  Did they?

• 1:14:37Liam McAnderson?

  Not, I should, I should clarify.

• 1:14:39November Kelly?

  I don't know what the fuck he's reviewing.

• 1:14:41Liam McAnderson?

  Shoot the weatherman with a gun. He was just, he, they were shooting a segment and he was on it in the hot air balloon.

• 1:14:47Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, so there's, there's a balloon at the Philadelphia Zoo. You can go up in, it's called the zoo balloon. And it was gone for a while, but apparently it's back. It's tethered to the ground. You go up like five, 600 feet and then come back down. I don't know what happens if they lose control of it.

• 1:15:04November Kelly?

  It's the like balloon boy problem, you know?

• 1:15:07Justin Roczniak?

  Well, yeah. Well, we just keep going up.

• 1:15:11Liam McAnderson?

  Forever. Uh, yeah. I wanna.

• 1:15:13November Kelly?

  You're gonna be the sea monster.

• 1:15:14Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:16Liam McAnderson?

  I wanna derail this podcast. To be on this podcast even further, because this is, this is already probably the best episode we've ever done, frankly. We're gonna have to pack it up after this, but we have a listener who emails us occasionally, who is as far as, as far as I know, yeah, fucking people. She is, from what she said in her emails, a retired lawyer in her late 50s, early 60s. So she's like a peer of my parents. And she, she, she sent us an email that was like, this is my feedback on the, the boat, the last Fort Pendleton and SS Mercer disaster. She was like, oh, it was like a little too like masculine for my taste. And it was a good, honest feedback.

• 1:15:56November Kelly?

  Wow. Okay. Sorry. I'm trying. Okay.

• 1:16:00Liam McAnderson?

  Hang on. Well, I think it's actually Tom. I think it's Tom's fault. But she, she, I responded to her email because it was good, honest feedback. And she's like, I didn't understand all the Philadelphia references. And to you, Mary Sue, I can only apologize. And also by doubling down on the Philadelphia references.

• 1:16:21November Kelly?

  Yeah. Next bonus episode after Catholicism is the cheesesteak.

• 1:16:25Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:26Liam McAnderson?

  Hell yeah.

• 1:16:27Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, so yeah, they stopped releasing the balloons is the point of this.

• 1:16:32November Kelly?

  And instead sort of sacrificing them to.

• 1:16:34Liam McAnderson?

  Ritualistically. Yeah. Have you played the Tomb Raider reboot? It's just like that.

• 1:16:38November Kelly?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:16:39Justin Roczniak?

  So for most of its history, the parade has gone from 77th and Central Park West. That's over here. By the way, uh, wait a second. No, that's wrong. Um, how do I do?

• 1:16:54November Kelly?

  By the historical society, right? Cause that's 79 by natural history. So.

• 1:17:01Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. 77th is like up here. Yeah.

• 1:17:03Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. North is that way.

• 1:17:05Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. North is, north is that way. Yeah.

• 1:17:07Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. So 77th and Central Park West over here by the Natural History Museum is where it starts. It goes south down Central Park West. It goes to Columbus Circle here, which is a nasty part of the parade because there's high winds. It used to go down Broadway over to God's own worst place in the world, Herald Square, where Macy's is down here.

• 1:17:31Liam McAnderson?

  Unspeakable evil. You'll never see, find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, dude.

• 1:17:35Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I would say the worst.

• 1:17:36November Kelly?

  Herald and dimes and times to that matter. I'm not hearing anything good about squares in New York City.

• 1:17:42Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, no, you know,

• 1:17:44Liam McAnderson?

  You're gonna feel foolish when we play New York a block off of Times Square.

• 1:17:49Liam McAnderson?

  And Mayor Giuliani has a secretly killed.

• 1:17:52Justin Roczniak?

  But yeah, this, this is about two and a quarter miles, right? Today, since times, since Broadway was pedestrianized, I believe they jog over two blocks and they go down sixth. I think they might go down seventh. I'm not sure. You know, but again, they, that over here, Columbus Circle, very high winds. Uh, over here, Times Square, also.

• 1:18:13November Kelly?

  I don't like stuff being named after Columbus, you know, I think they should be, it should be named after, you know, another great Italian American. Uh, it's a, you know, Man Joan Square. Man Joan.

• 1:18:28Justin Roczniak?

  Luigi Manione.

• 1:18:33Justin Roczniak?

  So because of these high winds, because of various things, these balloons, they have problems.

• 1:18:40November Kelly?

  Almost hitting a perfect Trump cadence, just on the, those balloons, they have some problems.

• 1:18:45Justin Roczniak?

  There's some problems.

• 1:18:46November Kelly?

  Okay, we're gonna look into it.

• 1:18:48Justin Roczniak?

  I, I.

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  We're gonna look into it.

• 1:18:50Liam McAnderson?

  I love this, this one, the, the terrible Turk hitting electric sign at 72nd Street and torn half. The terrible Turk lusts at his heart for a Chevrolet.

• 1:19:00Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. 1931, down here, the terrible Turk hit an electric sign at 72nd Street, he tore in half.

• 1:19:07November Kelly?

  Hold on, hold on, hold on a second. The, the terrible Turk with the feds?

• 1:19:11Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:17Liam McAnderson?

  I know, I know. We do races really good in America.

• 1:19:20November Kelly?

  You know, maybe, maybe Eric Adams was just doing like New York City municipal reparations in his own way, you know, like granting those contracts and stuff.

• 1:19:30Justin Roczniak?

  Same year, 1931, the cat that's here.

• 1:19:33Liam McAnderson?

  Just the cat?

• 1:19:34Justin Roczniak?

  The cat hit a telephone pole, caught fire and burned to the ground.

• 1:19:39Liam McAnderson?

  No.

• 1:19:41Speaker 03

  Looks like. Can you imagine being an eight year old and watching this happen before your eyes?

• 1:19:46Liam McAnderson?

  Flames like the fucking Hindenburg.

• 1:19:50November Kelly?

  Oh, the limity.

• 1:19:54Justin Roczniak?

  1932, the Tomcat here is released at Herald Square and that woman tries to catch it with her airplane and almost crashes.

• 1:20:05November Kelly?

  So it wasn't even like a planned thing. She was just, she was trying to like do like an emergency balloon rescue in midair with a plane.

• 1:20:14Justin Roczniak?

  Ah, I think it was planned. I mean, she knew when the parade was happening and there was a reward for doing it.

• 1:20:20Liam McAnderson?

  Again, try not to.

• 1:20:22Justin Roczniak?

  Taking out your light aircraft for a $50 reward.

• 1:20:25Liam McAnderson?

  Do not Zacharias Musawi the fucking Thanksgiving Day Parade.

• 1:20:31November Kelly?

  Like leaning over since President McKinley and being like they hit the fucking Flatiron Building. Neither of those things chronologically related at all.

• 1:20:43November Kelly?

  Like 100 years off.

• 1:20:46Justin Roczniak?

  1933, Andy the Alligator was torn in half at 70th Street.

• 1:20:53November Kelly?

  Again, the, the sort of blood sacrifices that renew the kind of like parapsychological thing of the city of New York. Also, why does it look like he's being walked by Klansmen?

• 1:21:05Liam McAnderson?

  He probably is.

• 1:21:06Justin Roczniak?

  I, it wasn't political back then.

• 1:21:10Liam McAnderson?

  Like, yeah, he's probably being walked by the Klan.

• 1:21:14November Kelly?

  Actually, I bet it's like linguistically close. I bet those are clowns because pointy hat, white suits. I'm thinking that's, that's like a, like a, what, what do you call that kind of clown? It's not a harlequin, the other kind.

• 1:21:26Justin Roczniak?

  It's the, the Italians still have it.

• 1:21:29November Kelly?

  Piero, the kind of, yeah, that, that kind of clown. Yeah.

• 1:21:33Speaker 03

  I, I'm noticing a brief, brief, brief pause before we talk about, uh, before the bad things happen to a mouse. I quite like that Chevrolet advert and Liam, I think it's aiming at you. Sweet, smooth, sassy.

• 1:21:45Liam McAnderson?

  That's me. That's me. With this, uh, whatever the hell has happened to this, to this.

• 1:21:52November Kelly?

  Oh, God.

• 1:21:54November Kelly?

  That's quite profound, actually. It's like the dying goal. It's like.

• 1:21:59Justin Roczniak?

  1956 Mighty Mouse deflates.

• 1:22:03Justin Roczniak?

  Along the circle.

• 1:22:05Liam McAnderson?

  Okay, with his one eye. Mike Wazowski eye. Slipped the, did not slip the surly bonds of earth actually, quite the opposite.

• 1:22:15November Kelly?

  This is a photo that conveys, how can a loving God know such agony? Like, it's, it's wild, you know?

• 1:22:22Speaker 03

  Looks like something out of the original film of Little Shop of Horrors. It's quite frightening, yeah.

• 1:22:27November Kelly?

  This is, this is one of the greatest photos I've ever seen. Like, no question.

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  The twentieth century represented in one image.

• 1:22:36November Kelly?

  This is the American condition, kind of.

• 1:22:39Justin Roczniak?

  1957, Popeye's hat fills with water during a downpour. The balloon tilts and spills it onto the crowd.

• 1:22:52Liam McAnderson?

  Really good, really, really good.

• 1:22:53Speaker 03

  Heavy, so I'm just imagining a load of people just being like crushed to the ground by tons of waterfall on them, that's.

• 1:23:00November Kelly?

  You get hit with like a riot cannon, but it's Popeye.

• 1:23:04Speaker 03

  It's Popeye.

• 1:23:08Speaker 03

  Oh, yes.

• 1:23:10November Kelly?

  At least it wasn't olive oil.

• 1:23:11Justin Roczniak?

  1961, the gorgeous gobbler.

• 1:23:15Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:23:16November Kelly?

  That's what they used to call me.

• 1:23:23Justin Roczniak?

  The gorgeous gobbler's beak was punctured at the start of the route and his whole head deflated.

• 1:23:29Liam McAnderson?

  The only thing worth eating it while.

• 1:23:38Justin Roczniak?

  Completed the parade route regardless and headless.

• 1:23:41Speaker 03

  Come on, man. That's where the term comes from.

• 1:23:44November Kelly?

  That's two on the nose. Literally like a headless turkey.

• 1:23:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's where the phrase comes from famously, of course.

• 1:23:52Justin Roczniak?

  1971, Snoopy was wrapped around the cab of a helium truck due to the high winds.

• 1:23:59November Kelly?

  Good grief.

• 1:24:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:01Justin Roczniak?

  1975, Snoopy was punctured by a lamppost at 73rd Street and was pulled from the lineup. Underdog ran into a lamppost near Times Square and was also removed from the lineup.

• 1:24:15November Kelly?

  Gotta play a race of attrition in the Vietnam War, Jesus Christ.

• 1:24:20Liam McAnderson?

  It's like we're done it here.

• 1:24:22Justin Roczniak?

  Smokey the Bear's right hand was punctured by a tree at Columbus Circle and swung a leak.

• 1:24:33November Kelly?

  Only you can.

• 1:24:39Speaker 03

  This is the best episode.

• 1:24:41November Kelly?

  The inherent humor of giant balloons.

• 1:24:48Justin Roczniak?

  1982, Bullwinkle suffers a helium leak and slowly deflates along the length of Central Park West, until being retired, four blocks short of Harold's Square.

• 1:25:01November Kelly?

  Almost made it.

• 1:25:03Justin Roczniak?

  Nope.

• 1:25:03Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:25:04Justin Roczniak?

  Finally got Moose and Squirrel.

• 1:25:10Justin Roczniak?

  1986, Betty Boop deflates and due to high winds, only yards from the finish line.

• 1:25:17November Kelly?

  Her husband's gonna be so upset.

• 1:25:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's it. Deflating due to high winds. Yeah, hard relate. That's fair.

• 1:25:24Justin Roczniak?

  91, Kermit collides with a tree, suffers a deflated head.

• 1:25:35November Kelly?

  Walking him off the field like a football player with a concussion.

• 1:25:39Speaker 03

  Well, I really hope that someone's got like a boombox walking underneath. It's 1991. Someone needs a boombox just to play. Play It's Not Easy Being Green, but at half speed.

• 1:25:49Liam McAnderson?

  They take Kermit into the blue concussion tent for like they have in the NFL.

• 1:25:55Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, they gotta take him out back like a horse, man. This is brutal.

• 1:26:03Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:26:04Justin Roczniak?

  1993, Sonic the Hedgehog. Okay.

• 1:26:07Speaker 03

  Oh god, oh poo, this.

• 1:26:09November Kelly?

  Why does he look so pregnant?

• 1:26:11Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Finally, my Sonic Tales M-Prank fanfic is getting the attention it deserves.

• 1:26:18November Kelly?

  They literally did inflate him, making him huge and round. Like, I don't.

• 1:26:24Justin Roczniak?

  Handlers lose control of Sonic the Hedgehog at Columbus Circle, a notorious high wind spot. Sonic flew into a lamppost and caught it right in his eye, causing rapid deflation.

• 1:26:36November Kelly?

  My, my, the inflation fetishes are gonna have a...

• 1:26:40Justin Roczniak?

  It's not...

• 1:26:41November Kelly?

  Deflation fetish? I don't know.

• 1:26:43Justin Roczniak?

  When he pulled away, he took the light fixture right off, which fell and hit a police officer and then a 10-year-old girl, both of whom sustained injuries.

• 1:26:52Speaker 03

  Ah, so we, we take and you give.

• 1:26:54November Kelly?

  Years later, how did you get your NYPD, like, injured in the line of duty citation?

• 1:27:00Justin Roczniak?

  Sonic the Hedgehog dropped a light fixture on me.

• 1:27:03November Kelly?

  This is 1993, so like, the list of NYPD injuries is gonna be like, you know, uh, all the 70s and 80s ones, like, crashed own car dealing coke out of the precinct, right? And then the 90s ones are all like comedy shit like this, and then it's like fourth pages of 9/11.

• 1:27:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:25Justin Roczniak?

  The balloon then fell onto the crowd where one person was overcome by helium fumes but soon recovered.

• 1:27:31November Kelly?

  You can do that? One of the funniest ways to get overcome by fumes, I will say.

• 1:27:36Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:39November Kelly?

  It's like, "Help!"

• 1:27:41Justin Roczniak?

  "No, I think I'm fine!"

• 1:27:50Justin Roczniak?

  Sonic was removed from the parade, repaired, and returned in 1994 with no further incidents, but in an age of increasing balloon sizes...

• 1:27:58November Kelly?

  Consequences for these people, they just move them onto another parade.

• 1:28:03Justin Roczniak?

  This was the worst accident the parade had seen so far. In 1995, Dudley the Dragon...

• 1:28:11November Kelly?

  I hate his stupid fucking high tops.

• 1:28:13Speaker 03

  Well, good news.

• 1:28:16Justin Roczniak?

  Dudley the Dragon was caught on another lamppost in Columbus Circle.

• 1:28:20Liam McAnderson?

  They love doing it, huh?

• 1:28:21Justin Roczniak?

  His fixture shattered and it showered the crowd with broken glass.

• 1:28:25Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 1:28:26Justin Roczniak?

  Dudley was caught fast to the lamppost and was removed from the parade.

• 1:28:31November Kelly?

  Just inseparable, just like wrapped around the fucking thing. Just like teams of people trying to get him off this lamppost.

• 1:28:41Justin Roczniak?

  The Pink Panther.

• 1:28:42November Kelly?

  I'm never going alive! I'm never going alive!

• 1:28:49Justin Roczniak?

  The Pink Panther collided with multiple objects, tearing open his stomach and puncturing his eye.

• 1:28:55Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 1:28:56Justin Roczniak?

  Completed the parade at low altitude.

• 1:28:58November Kelly?

  Can I, can I, can I say? Under Enemy Radar, can I say something about the, about the attachment point for two of these tethers specifically? They're really, really, along with a collar.

• 1:29:11Speaker 03

  Oh god, the nipples.

• 1:29:12November Kelly?

  Make it look like the Pink Panther is being pulled by nipple clamps.

• 1:29:17November Kelly?

  No, you're not wrong. Who's to say? Folsom gets weirder every year.

• 1:29:24Justin Roczniak?

  The balloons were getting bigger and the stakes were getting higher.

• 1:29:28Justin Roczniak?

  And, you know, these accidents actually will get worse, but first we have to talk about something important, which is what is Barney the Dinosaur?

• 1:29:35November Kelly?

  Okay, so, so you know what Cocoon Melon is now? They're kind of like, it, it, it's the thing you put on iPads if you want to destroy a child's brain in such a way that they don't bother you? Or so I understand anyway, like a bunch of my friends are having kids, so.

• 1:29:50Justin Roczniak?

  Is this, is this the one?

• 1:29:51Speaker 03

  I mean, mine's either the engine, so.

• 1:29:53Justin Roczniak?

  Is this the one where they're like gabba doo bick, biddy biddy, giddy giddy?

• 1:29:56November Kelly?

  Yeah, I think so. I haven't actually watched it, but as far as I understand, it's the thing that puts like toddlers into a kind of trance state. Uh, it's probably bad that that exists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that, like, it's, it's.

• 1:30:08Justin Roczniak?

  You do, uh, you do that, you do Elsa and Spider-Man, you do, um, what's it? There's a bunch of stuff with a bunch of needles for some reason that the kids like.

• 1:30:16November Kelly?

  Weird horrifying shit, but like, anyway.

• 1:30:18Justin Roczniak?

  Exactly.

• 1:30:18November Kelly?

  But Barney the Dinosaur was like.

• 1:30:20Justin Roczniak?

  The chickens turn into, um, the chickens turn into alligators.

• 1:30:23Liam McAnderson?

  What?

• 1:30:24Justin Roczniak?

  They're different colors.

• 1:30:25Liam McAnderson?

  What? Isn't that Barney reverse?

• 1:30:27November Kelly?

  Barney was like the 90s version of that.

• 1:30:29Liam McAnderson?

  Apparently it's pure brain rot, no educational value, dancing fruits, according to my wife.

• 1:30:34November Kelly?

  Yeah, that sounds about right.

• 1:30:35Liam McAnderson?

  All right.

• 1:30:35Speaker 03

  Noted. Thanks, Ren.

• 1:30:37Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah Barney the dinosaur, he's a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

• 1:30:39Liam McAnderson?

  No, he fucking isn't bud.

• 1:30:43November Kelly?

  He's also also a war criminal because they used to use the Barney song in uh in Guantanamo Bay amongst other places.

• 1:30:51Liam McAnderson?

  Yes.

• 1:30:52November Kelly?

  For uh on like on a loop. So yeah Barney is complicit with some of the like darkest crimes of the US imperial state.

• 1:31:00Justin Roczniak?

  But Barney was sort of a vaguely educational wholesome children's programming thing about a bunch of kids and the magic dinosaur.

• 1:31:09Liam McAnderson?

  What?

• 1:31:10Justin Roczniak?

  You know.

• 1:31:11Speaker 03

  Somewhere now you read that sentence out loud, it it it rings different.

• 1:31:14Liam McAnderson?

  I.

• 1:31:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:15Liam McAnderson?

  Wish I had.

• 1:31:17November Kelly?

  He's got he's got kind of a waste on him in a way that's obsessing to me like it's uh.

• 1:31:21Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, he's got kid Kardashian body. Yeah.

• 1:31:23November Kelly?

  I was I wasn't gonna say it, but yeah, it looks like that one paper magazine cover.

• 1:31:26Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:27Justin Roczniak?

  He's a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

• 1:31:29Liam McAnderson?

  He's not a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

• 1:31:30Justin Roczniak?

  Barney is a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

• 1:31:32Liam McAnderson?

  Canonically or what are we talking about?

• 1:31:33Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:31:34Liam McAnderson?

  I've got a I I okay.

• 1:31:36November Kelly?

  You know what? Just.

• 1:31:37Liam McAnderson?

  Carry on bud.

• 1:31:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Uh, you know, when I was about nine, it was very cool to hate Barney and imagine him being killed in various violent ways.

• 1:31:45Liam McAnderson?

  I remember those those rhymes.

• 1:31:47November Kelly?

  Yeah, exactly. Cause cause like Barney was always like very like saccharine and like there was no depth to it. And so of course kids were like, yeah, I want to see. You know, it would be epic to see Barney get like beheaded by like a combine harvester or whatever.

• 1:32:00Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, but you know, in real life Barney would kill you in various violent ways because he's a T-Rex.

• 1:32:06November Kelly?

  Hmm, sure.

• 1:32:07Justin Roczniak?

  But nothing personal, simply the nature of the T-Rex.

• 1:32:12November Kelly?

  Nothing personal kid.

• 1:32:13Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. As you're simply devoured by Barney the dinosaur for not putting your toys away in a timely fashion.

• 1:32:19November Kelly?

  Yeah, kind of like the, you know, um, the hippopotamus or the mahuhu, you know?

• 1:32:24Speaker 03

  He's got a jaw on it's all he's got a jaw that's almost as wide as David Coulthard's. It's quite quite something.

• 1:32:29Justin Roczniak?

  He's very, very nice teeth. He must have spent a lot on that.

• 1:32:33November Kelly?

  He went to Turkey, yeah.

• 1:32:35Justin Roczniak?

  So it's got a, I think this is the set for the new version of the show. Nice wooden bobber caboose back here.

• 1:32:42Speaker 03

  That's lovely. Yeah, very nice. Just parked up there.

• 1:32:45Justin Roczniak?

  A lot of, a lot of it's painted safety yellow.

• 1:32:47Liam McAnderson?

  Well.

• 1:32:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yes.

• 1:32:49Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway.

• 1:32:49Speaker 03

  Safety first.

• 1:32:50Justin Roczniak?

  Hmm. So, November 27th, 1997.

• 1:32:55Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 1:32:56Justin Roczniak?

  The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

• 1:32:59November Kelly?

  I, I, I, I, I see some, I see Hey Arthur there.

• 1:33:03Speaker 03

  That's a hell of a Michelodin going on there, yeah.

• 1:33:06November Kelly?

  Hated Rugrats. Always hated Rugrats.

• 1:33:08Speaker 03

  Really? I love Rugrats.

• 1:33:09November Kelly?

  Never liked the art style. Never liked it. Hate this clown. Hate these snowmen.

• 1:33:15Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, the clown is, is giving me John Wayne Gacy vibes. Um, right?

• 1:33:20Speaker 03

  Is that meant to be Miss Peggy?

• 1:33:21Liam McAnderson?

  Did we see the clown one?

• 1:33:22November Kelly?

  Uh, the, hmm.

• 1:33:23Justin Roczniak?

  Our balloon lineup. New balloon, Arthur. Right?

• 1:33:28November Kelly?

  Sick.

• 1:33:28Justin Roczniak?

  Returning for the 10th time, Big Bird.

• 1:33:32November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 1:33:32Justin Roczniak?

  Returning for the 12th time.

• 1:33:34November Kelly?

  Big Bird.

• 1:33:35Liam McAnderson?

  I have mixed feelings about Big Bird. He's a national hero, Nova.

• 1:33:39November Kelly?

  Big Bird, Big Bird has a complicated legacy, all right?

• 1:33:42Justin Roczniak?

  He kept us out of war.

• 1:33:47Justin Roczniak?

  Returning for the 12th time, Garfield.

• 1:33:49November Kelly?

  Uh huh.

• 1:33:51Speaker 03

  Of course.

• 1:33:51Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, for the second time, Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit.

• 1:33:56Speaker 03

  What the hell? With the Brits again in there?

• 1:33:57November Kelly?

  Weird Brit shit, yeah.

• 1:33:59Justin Roczniak?

  For the 10th time, the Pink Panther.

• 1:34:01November Kelly?

  Chiefly, chiefly notable in the form of balloon.

• 1:34:05Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. For the 10th time, the Nesquik Bunny. For the fourth time, Barney.

• 1:34:11November Kelly?

  Official balloon of diabetes.

• 1:34:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. For the fifth time, Sonic the Hedgehog.

• 1:34:17November Kelly?

  Who's a previous, like, war casualty.

• 1:34:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just like with a patch over one eye and then, yeah, that's it.

• 1:34:25Liam McAnderson?

  Derek Crenshaw, but.

• 1:34:26Justin Roczniak?

  I want to say Sonic the Hedgehog had like a visible patch somewhere on him.

• 1:34:30November Kelly?

  Venomous Sonic.

• 1:34:31Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:34:32November Kelly?

  Already a demon, Kaz.

• 1:34:34Justin Roczniak?

  Debuting, the Rugrats.

• 1:34:37November Kelly?

  Boo.

• 1:34:38Justin Roczniak?

  For the fourth time.

• 1:34:40November Kelly?

  I'm throwing filing cabinets down at them.

• 1:34:41Speaker 03

  Shit.

• 1:34:42Justin Roczniak?

  The cat in the hat.

• 1:34:44November Kelly?

  Okay.

• 1:34:44Justin Roczniak?

  For the 11th time. Spider-Man.

• 1:34:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:34:48November Kelly?

  And thi- thi- thi- this is like old school Spider-Man. The back when the like, you know, before any of the like alternate continuity shit with those one Spider-Man and he fucking sucked.

• 1:34:58Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:34:59Speaker 03

  Hey, wait, wait a second. Wait, wait a minute. I use, I loved Spider-Man as a kid. I had the, I had a plastic toy that was my, my beloved. God knows where it is now. I think my parents stole it from me at some point, but I, I loved that. Oh my God. The animated Spider-Man.

• 1:35:13November Kelly?

  I just, I just gotta, I gotta, I gotta single out Spider-Man as one of the rare few intellectual properties that has actually like gotten better in the 2020s. Like, not to say, you know, uncomplicated relationship with, with your kind of like mass media slop, but yeah.

• 1:35:29Speaker 03

  Yeah. I, I, I'll give you that. But also I will not have anyone take my eighties Spider-Man, Spider-Man cartoons away. The amazing Spider-Man where there's like, way, way, Spider-Man, Spider-Man, way, way.

• 1:35:39November Kelly?

  Spider-Man.

• 1:35:39Speaker 03

  Sort of thing. That was, I was a big fan of that.

• 1:35:42Justin Roczniak?

  Um, I'm a man spider.

• 1:35:45Liam McAnderson?

  Oh.

• 1:35:47Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah. Check out my dirt next.

• 1:35:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:50Justin Roczniak?

  For the first time.

• 1:35:51Liam McAnderson?

  What the fuck is?

• 1:35:52Justin Roczniak?

  Bumpay.

• 1:35:53Liam McAnderson?

  What the fuck is bumpay?

• 1:35:56Justin Roczniak?

  Bumpay, bumpay is right here. That's bumpay.

• 1:35:59Liam McAnderson?

  What?

• 1:35:59Justin Roczniak?

  He's a cow from Sweden.

• 1:36:02Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, he is.

• 1:36:02Justin Roczniak?

  Who changes into various things from the alphabet.

• 1:36:06Liam McAnderson?

  Roz, what the fuck are you talking about, babe?

• 1:36:08Justin Roczniak?

  What? It's bumpay. America's favorite bumpay.

• 1:36:12Liam McAnderson?

  I don't like that this rabbit has got full QAnon.

• 1:36:18Liam McAnderson?

  Oh my God, they've been RFK into a balloon.

• 1:36:23November Kelly?

  Well, because you can't vaccinate a balloon because you just puncture it.

• 1:36:25Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. You're about to score one. That's it.

• 1:36:27Justin Roczniak?

  For the third time, Eben Bear.

• 1:36:31Liam McAnderson?

  Eben Bear.

• 1:36:31Justin Roczniak?

  It's a Macy's.

• 1:36:33November Kelly?

  Skyrim ass name. This guy's wearing a big fur cloak. He's in Rift.

• 1:36:37Justin Roczniak?

  And for the first time, Petula Pig. Right here.

• 1:36:41November Kelly?

  Oh, the fucking, the, the, the non-union Miss Piggy. I see how it is.

• 1:36:45Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:36:47November Kelly?

  Miss Piggy will not, will not deem to be balloonified. And frankly, I don't blame her.

• 1:36:52Speaker 03

  She's so into Kermit the Year Before.

• 1:36:53November Kelly?

  Yeah, she's like Jojo Gabor. She's not gonna get out of bed for less than a million dollars, you know?

• 1:36:58Justin Roczniak?

  So it's the morning, it's New York City, it's cold, and there are 40 mile an hour gusts and 20 mile per hour sustained winds.

• 1:37:05November Kelly?

  Meanwhile, you're out there up early inflating Sonic.

• 1:37:09Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:10November Kelly?

  You're putting the nipple clamps on the Pink Panther. You're ready to go. You're like, this is a normal American cultural activity I'm about to engage in.

• 1:37:17Justin Roczniak?

  Everybody shut up. It's not weird, dude.

• 1:37:21Justin Roczniak?

  So nonetheless, the nation is watching. The show must go on because this is nationally broadcast parade.

• 1:37:27November Kelly?

  Who is watching this nationally?

• 1:37:30Speaker 03

  Everybody.

• 1:37:31Justin Roczniak?

  My grandmother.

• 1:37:33Speaker 03

  Also my mom, who loves the Thanksgiving Day parade.

• 1:37:36November Kelly?

  So this isn't, this isn't like, this is actually like beloved. This isn't like a thing like the Super Bowl where I watch it every year to see whether or not somebody banes the thing, you know, whether it gets 9/11.

• 1:37:47Justin Roczniak?

  Right. No, this is, this is a beloved cultural institution.

• 1:37:50November Kelly?

  Okay.

• 1:37:51Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, lots of people.

• 1:37:52Justin Roczniak?

  American cultural dominance, baby.

• 1:37:57Speaker 03

  Hey, don't get me, don't maybe get the Pennsylvania dominance drop out. Is this a bit to the US? Is this the same as like the former Austria Hungarian empire watching the Vienna Phil on New Year's Day morning? Is this kind of the same level of cultural sort of, sort of precedence?

• 1:38:11Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, good though.

• 1:38:12Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, it sounds about right.

• 1:38:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all do it. I did Belgrade. They put the TV on. It's, it's, it's, it's Eurovision because Eurovision is a thing outside of just Eurovision. And, and everyone just claps along to, well, not handle, everyone claps along to Mozart. It's, it's nice. Not a thing we do in the UK because we're all hungover on New Year's Day. So we do, are not going to put on clapping.

• 1:38:33Justin Roczniak?

  Wow. New Year's Day, you go out and watch the Mummer's Parade, but that's only in Philly.

• 1:38:38Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, and then you drink yourself sick.

• 1:38:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, you go get really drunk.

• 1:38:42Liam McAnderson?

  Trash can at 9:45 in the morning. Yeah, but I know.

• 1:38:46November Kelly?

  Or if you're Scottish, you give yourself heart failure by running into a freezer, into the freezing cold for the fourth for no reason.

• 1:38:51Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 1:38:52Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, polar plunge. You guys do that too?

• 1:38:54November Kelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:38:54Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:38:55November Kelly?

  Oh, you know me.

• 1:38:56Liam McAnderson?

  I thought any of us personally.

• 1:38:57Justin Roczniak?

  An official from Macy's is like, nah, fuck it. We'll do it. Send the balloons up, right?

• 1:39:02November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:03Justin Roczniak?

  It looked like the winds might be subsiding anyway, so.

• 1:39:07November Kelly?

  Yeah, you could just say that shit when you're the boss of Macy's. You could just sort of say shit. There's no like, there's no like international federation of balloonery. There's no one to boss. Like, you're just, you're, you're the guy. You are the guy. You're Gene Krantz in fucking Apollo 13. You're wearing the white vest.

• 1:39:22Justin Roczniak?

  Literally every call for this one. Yeah. Things start to go wrong almost immediately.

• 1:39:28Liam McAnderson?

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:39:29Justin Roczniak?

  The first to go was.

• 1:39:31November Kelly?

  First to go?

• 1:39:33Justin Roczniak?

  The flying fish right here.

• 1:39:35Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, dear.

• 1:39:35Justin Roczniak?

  One of the smaller and older balloons.

• 1:39:38November Kelly?

  I like this fish. I like this fish.

• 1:39:41Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. He was immediately shredded by high winds overnight.

• 1:39:45November Kelly?

  Jesus Christ. You, you make me pack bonds with this fish and then you kill him in the first scene like a red shirt? To establish the stakes?

• 1:39:59November Kelly?

  This is, this is so good. Shredded by highway. Shredded. There's tactical remains of this thing just blowing down and landing on people.

• 1:40:07Liam McAnderson?

  Totally decommissioned as a result.

• 1:40:11November Kelly?

  Like a nuclear reactor.

• 1:40:15Justin Roczniak?

  We gave flying fish a hero's funeral.

• 1:40:22November Kelly?

  He's with the angel fish now.

• 1:40:25Justin Roczniak?

  His amazing grace just blares out over the children.

• 1:40:31Justin Roczniak?

  That's just a bunch of balloon handlers with like solemnly bringing shreds of rubber.

• 1:40:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:45Justin Roczniak?

  One block into the route, Sonic the Hedgehog making his triumphant return after reconstructive surgery, had his head ripped open by the wind and was retired.

• 1:41:00November Kelly?

  They can't keep doing this to him. How, how much can one hedgehog take?

• 1:41:09Speaker 03

  This is like a tarte toot.

• 1:41:11November Kelly?

  Like fucking shadow.

• 1:41:12Speaker 03

  Things he's had it rough, eesh.

• 1:41:20November Kelly?

  Getting your head torn open on a New York City lamppost in consecutive years.

• 1:41:29Justin Roczniak?

  The Nesquik bunny proved exceptionally difficult to control and wound up being significantly delayed, taking the place of Barney in the parade lineup. Barney was slotted in behind a Westward Ho float.

• 1:41:43Liam McAnderson?

  What did you call him?

• 1:41:44Speaker 03

  Shout out to Westward Ho, second mention in a row in WCP.

• 1:41:47November Kelly?

  Why, why does Westward Ho have a float in the Macy's Parade?

• 1:41:51Justin Roczniak?

  I don't know why. Yeah.

• 1:41:53Liam McAnderson?

  Give us your money.

• 1:41:53Justin Roczniak?

  Why does anything have a float?

• 1:41:54Liam McAnderson?

  Why don't we have a float is the more important question.

• 1:41:57November Kelly?

  Hmm.

• 1:41:59Justin Roczniak?

  So, the Nesquik bunny struck a tree at 77th and Central Park West that ripped open his ear.

• 1:42:06Speaker 03

  Okay, flesh wound at this point, but okay, okay. Surviving.

• 1:42:11Justin Roczniak?

  Despite this, he continued the route until the deflated ear caught a stoplight at Times Square.

• 1:42:16Speaker 03

  Christ, oh.

• 1:42:18Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, handlers from the Pink Panther, which we'll talk about in a second.

• 1:42:21Speaker 03

  Oh god, no, Pink Panther.

• 1:42:23Justin Roczniak?

  Rushed to assist, but it was too late. The Nesquik bunny was ripped limb from limb by the stoplight.

• 1:42:33Justin Roczniak?

  And retired.

• 1:42:35Liam McAnderson?

  Can you imagine just being like a six-year-old kid? You got up early and just watching your favorite tuckers, limb from limb?

• 1:42:53November Kelly?

  Torn bodily apart like a medieval execution, like a regicide.

• 1:42:59Speaker 03

  Tanged, drawn and caught.

• 1:43:02Liam McAnderson?

  We scattered the desk with funny over Fort Greene.

• 1:43:10November Kelly?

  And you're gonna have to bring in the bounty for like partial pieces of rubber back, you know?

• 1:43:17Justin Roczniak?

  The Pink Panther this year was a truly monstrous balloon, one of the largest the parade had ever seen. It was seven stories high. It was several other dimensions as well. In these winds.

• 1:43:32November Kelly?

  Oh, God.

• 1:43:36November Kelly?

  I feel very strongly that if you look at the three photographers and one woman with a ponytail arrayed down the crosswalk here, this is us. This is actually us.

• 1:43:52Liam McAnderson?

  I like this guy just climbing, bottom right, red shirt, climbing on what I believe to be, is that the tail of the Pink Panther?

• 1:44:00Speaker 03

  It might be an arm. Slender, the lower part, yeah.

• 1:44:02November Kelly?

  I, I, the eyes, the bulging eyes.

• 1:44:07Liam McAnderson?

  The dead, lifeless eyes. Who's antisemitic now?

• 1:44:17November Kelly?

  The most childish and pessy Mossad operation.

• 1:44:21Justin Roczniak?

  In these winds, in these winds, the Pink Panther could only be flown horizontally. At 56th Street, at 52nd Street, the Pink Panther began to behave erratically. Catching a gust of wind and throwing many of its handlers to the ground.

• 1:44:38November Kelly?

  Oh, getting like, resisting arrest. Getting like body slammed onto asphalt by the Pink Panther.

• 1:44:47Justin Roczniak?

  The Pink Panther caught a lamppost but did not tear.

• 1:44:51November Kelly?

  Yes.

• 1:44:51Justin Roczniak?

  At Times Square, though, things took a turn for the worse.

• 1:44:54November Kelly?

  Oh, you have to have a like Patrick O'Brien, like, like, sort of like early 19th century Royal Navy rigging crew. Level of like rope handling and cohesion and like fighting against the elements and you're doing it all in a Pink Panther jumpsuit.

• 1:45:14Justin Roczniak?

  A much stronger gust of wind, which is amplified by tall buildings, caused the balloon to rear up, taking its pilot with it.

• 1:45:22Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 1:45:22November Kelly?

  This is a pilot?

• 1:45:24Justin Roczniak?

  There's a pilot who is like directing everyone else for the balloon.

• 1:45:28Liam McAnderson?

  With just hand signals or what?

• 1:45:30Justin Roczniak?

  Um, I assume he's also holding on to something.

• 1:45:32Liam McAnderson?

  Oh, Christ. All right.

• 1:45:34Speaker 03

  Getting tossed into the, getting yanked into the air like a toddler on a bell ringing rope.

• 1:45:40Justin Roczniak?

  Suffered like a nasty fall afterwards, but no injuries.

• 1:45:44Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:45:45Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:45:45Speaker 03

  Ah, cool. No problem.

• 1:45:47Justin Roczniak?

  So the balloon was still undamaged and the handlers pressed onward.

• 1:45:51Speaker 03

  This limping pilot, this limping pilot is like, well, I guess we crack on.

• 1:45:56November Kelly?

  Street furniture. This is so obstructed. Like if you think of all this stuff overhanging a street in Manhattan.

• 1:46:05Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we'll get to that later.

• 1:46:07November Kelly?

  Oh, God.

• 1:46:08Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 1:46:09Liam McAnderson?

  That might be my least favorite phrase on this show.

• 1:46:12Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, the balloon finally caught a traffic light and ripped open.

• 1:46:16Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 1:46:17November Kelly?

  Oh, no.

• 1:46:18Speaker 03

  Entrails cast to the wind.

• 1:46:20Justin Roczniak?

  Mostly deflated, but was still had enough helium in it to stay airborne until a police officer stabbed its tail.

• 1:46:31Justin Roczniak?

  This stabilized the balloon and brought it to the ground. Then some 30 New York Police Department officers took to the scene and stabbed the Pink Panther to death.

• 1:46:44November Kelly?

  Not even an officer involved shooting, an officer involved stabbing.

• 1:46:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Thirty of them climbing all over it. Their instincts, their, their eyes like flick back and come back forwards again. They just all can enter extreme violence mode.

• 1:47:00November Kelly?

  It's like Italian moment, right? In that moment, the kind of the epigenetics speak and they fall on him like Caesar.

• 1:47:11Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:47:12Justin Roczniak?

  E2 brutal.

• 1:47:19Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:47:21November Kelly?

  Getting, I think the funniest thing, right, is like, from an institution we know very well is like extremely violent in set ways, but a complete mismatch of method to be stabbed to death by the NYPD is like...

• 1:47:38Justin Roczniak?

  Testimonies from the scene indicate a mother and daughter were trapped under the balloon and some handlers were briefly overcome by helium gas.

• 1:47:46November Kelly?

  Well, it's a good shoot then. It's self-defense, you know? Internal affairs rolling up and taking statements. Every single one of these cops gets their, like, union rap.

• 1:48:00November Kelly?

  I was in fifth of my life.

• 1:48:02Speaker 03

  Planting a gun on the Pink Panther inflatable.

• 1:48:06November Kelly?

  Listen, the Pink Panther has a long criminal history, right? I think we can be clear about that.

• 1:48:11Liam McAnderson?

  There was no angel.

• 1:48:13Justin Roczniak?

  I repented this gun off of the suspect.

• 1:48:29Speaker 03

  This one's gonna kill me. This one is gonna kill me.

• 1:48:32Justin Roczniak?

  The handlers went to assist the Nesquik money and managed to get it six blocks further to 36th Street, where it too was ripped up and then was retired.

• 1:48:41Speaker 03

  This is a death march.

• 1:48:44November Kelly?

  You've run a baton. Now get ready for the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. Call it off. Why is it still going? This is like fucking...

• 1:48:53Speaker 03

  Slaughter of this scale.

• 1:48:54November Kelly?

  This is like Rocky Balboa's Fight Doctor organizing this. What the fuck?

• 1:49:00Speaker 03

  Slaughter of this scale in downtown New York would not be known for how many more years?

• 1:49:06Justin Roczniak?

  I could stab a guy on Fifth Avenue. Stab a balloon on Fifth Avenue. They'd still vote for me. Anyway. The most infamous scene from this particular Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was the murder of Barney the dinosaur.

• 1:49:24November Kelly?

  Oh my god, he's being tormented.

• 1:49:27Speaker 03

  Oh, it really is. Oh my god.

• 1:49:30Justin Roczniak?

  This was entirely, this was entirely cut on video and you can watch it on YouTube.

• 1:49:37Justin Roczniak?

  There's like, uh, there's like a family and their kid and the kid's just laughing the whole time.

• 1:49:45November Kelly?

  I mean, if you're a nine-year-old and you're like, "Yeah, I wanna see Barney get decapitated", you're about to have the best day of your fucking life.

• 1:49:52Liam McAnderson?

  On the other hand, where's the combine harvester I asked for?

• 1:49:58Speaker 03

  That's the inflatable one behind.

• 1:50:00Justin Roczniak?

  In an event that would go down in history as extremely funny, Barney became uncontrollable around 52nd Street.

• 1:50:09Justin Roczniak?

  To the point where handlers were lying down on the pavement to keep him under control. We're having sort of a Jurassic Park moment here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:50:22Justin Roczniak?

  Barney managed to wreck-

• 1:50:23November Kelly?

  Go to that video and like cut in some of the Godzilla roars, please.

• 1:50:29Speaker 03

  Godzilla roars, the guy, just like some guy going, "Clever girl."

• 1:50:34Speaker 03

  There's shit going on, all left, right and center, yeah.

• 1:50:36Justin Roczniak?

  Well Barney managed to wreck himself into a streetlight, which tore a massive gash in his side and exploded his tail.

• 1:50:47November Kelly?

  I, I told my wife what we were doing for the episode tonight and she sang in the cadence of the Barney theme song, "Off the dome, I love you, you love me, I was killed by NYPD."

• 1:51:04Justin Roczniak?

  Emboldened by their successful dispatch of the Pink Panther,

• 1:51:11Justin Roczniak?

  immediately swarmed Barney and stabbed him repeatedly in the face, stomach, tail, arms, legs, etc.

• 1:51:20November Kelly?

  This was a police riot, like.

• 1:51:24Liam McAnderson?

  A riot is the language of the unheard and it's just Barney the dinosaur on a loop.

• 1:51:28Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Barney was soon a flat sheet of rubber on the pavement and was retired.

• 1:51:34Speaker 03

  Well, I figured it at that point.

• 1:51:35Liam McAnderson?

  Oh my god, look how they massacred my boy.

• 1:51:42Liam McAnderson?

  And his dead soulless eyes.

• 1:51:45Justin Roczniak?

  Petula Pig did not start.

• 1:51:46November Kelly?

  Listen, I will say one thing. I will say one thing for policing, right? Irrespective of abolition or whatever. One thing its defenders do say is true, which is that just fucking any shit just lands on cops, it seems like. And that they're just left to be like, yeah, I have no balloon handling experience, but what I do have is many knives, I guess. And that combination of being the like, public service of last resort and also having like, a very specific set of training that does not account for Barney the dinosaur being uncontrollable leads to maybe the funniest thing I've ever fucking done.

• 1:52:30Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, Jesus.

• 1:52:32Speaker 03

  Absolutely incredible.

• 1:52:34Liam McAnderson?

  Well, there's more, Ross, there's more.

• 1:52:37Justin Roczniak?

  So, Petula Pig did not start the parade.

• 1:52:41Speaker 03

  Ah, disappointing.

• 1:52:42Justin Roczniak?

  Even Bear did not start.

• 1:52:45Speaker 03

  That is the most not that IP ass looking balloon I've ever seen, Ross. That's like-

• 1:52:49Liam McAnderson?

  Getting a DNS for-

• 1:52:52November Kelly?

  You're not her. You will never be her.

• 1:52:55Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:56Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit struck a streetlight hard at 72nd Street but did not deflate.

• 1:53:04November Kelly?

  Americans coming to your like little English like village and being like, hey, can we adapt your beloved children's character? Two weeks later, you are watching your tiny little British TV, seeing a gigantic balloon of him being slammed into a New York City streetlight.

• 1:53:23Speaker 03

  It's what she would have wanted.

• 1:53:25Justin Roczniak?

  But the worst incident was with the cat in the hat.

• 1:53:28November Kelly?

  This wasn't the worst.

• 1:53:32Speaker 03

  We've seen so much blood and gore at this point. Like, it's just, wow.

• 1:53:36Justin Roczniak?

  Well, here he is. He's on the Suits mobile.

• 1:53:39Liam McAnderson?

  I mean, I've seen the Michael Myers movie. That's, that's pretty, oh my god.

• 1:53:42Justin Roczniak?

  But he is, he is missing his hat, thus rendering him an ordinary cat, and he is sideways.

• 1:53:51Justin Roczniak?

  So at 72nd Street, the cat in the hat started to get angry.

• 1:53:57Speaker 03

  Spiritually a milkshake, yes. Yeah.

• 1:53:59November Kelly?

  He's a broad, he's like a tall balloon. It's very susceptible to wind, like.

• 1:54:05Justin Roczniak?

  He's tall, he's got very broad sides, yeah.

• 1:54:07November Kelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:54:08Justin Roczniak?

  Started bucking wildly from side to side. He hit a streetlight, in fact, the same streetlight that Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit struck. Then he hit it a second time, knocking an arm from the streetlight.

• 1:54:23Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:54:23Justin Roczniak?

  Onto the ground and into the crowd.

• 1:54:26November Kelly?

  Oh, God.

• 1:54:26Justin Roczniak?

  Injuring four people, including one Kathleen Corona, who was nearly fatally injured and went into a coma for a month.

• 1:54:35Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:54:36Justin Roczniak?

  Suffering permanent brain damage.

• 1:54:38Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.

• 1:54:42November Kelly?

  You're just, you're just almost murdered by, by a Dr. Seuss balloon.

• 1:54:48Speaker 03

  By just a regular giant cat.

• 1:54:50November Kelly?

  Do you remember fucking Six Feet Under? That's the way they used to start episodes. To like grab you for the rest of the, for the rest of the hour where it's like Dexter being gay and sad. It's like, oh, you know, a woman getting killed by the cat in the hat at the Macy's parade.

• 1:55:06Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. I mean, this, I don't think she suffered particularly debilitating brain damage, but a little brain damage is still too much brain damage.

• 1:55:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to damage her.

• 1:55:16Liam McAnderson?

  No, that's not, not your friend. It, it obviously fucks with you in ways that you can't even account for. It's fun.

• 1:55:22Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. The response to this was to deflate his hat, leaving him a mere cat on a strange machine.

• 1:55:29November Kelly?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. We've nearly killed a woman here.

• 1:55:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yes.

• 1:55:33November Kelly?

  And their response, and their response is, well, we'll take the hat off as a compromise, but the parade is still going.

• 1:55:40Justin Roczniak?

  We're still gonna do the parade, the show must go on.

• 1:55:43November Kelly?

  You're not gonna, you're not gonna call this off at any point.

• 1:55:46Liam McAnderson?

  The show must go on, Nova.

• 1:55:47Justin Roczniak?

  The handlers managed to get him as far as 36th Street, very close to Herald Square, where he became unwieldy. Once again, he was deflated and permanently retired from the parade.

• 1:56:00November Kelly?

  Okay, but, but why? What, what social good was served from dragging this, this hatless cat?

• 1:56:07Liam McAnderson?

  Balloon abolition.

• 1:56:09Justin Roczniak?

  The cat, the cat sans hat.

• 1:56:11November Kelly?

  Forty blocks, oft, oft, when it's got blood on its hands, quite possibly, literally. Why though? And why does the crosshatching make it look like it's got fucked up chest and arm hair?

• 1:56:29Speaker 03

  Robin Williams ass looking cat.

• 1:56:32Justin Roczniak?

  Ultimately, of the 14 balloons that year, only seven, Arthur, Big Bird, Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit, The Rugrats, Garfield, Spider-Man, and America's favorite, Bumpey. Made it to the finish line.

• 1:56:51November Kelly?

  Yeah, I, you hate to give Bumpey credit, but like, he is built different. He is, he's like, those, those Swedes, they know how to, they know how to make it.

• 1:57:03Speaker 03

  Favorite cow.

• 1:57:07November Kelly?

  I mean, you know, this is, is, it continues to be, uh, like unlimited Arthur supremacy.

• 1:57:12Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, Arthur is just, you know, there, work him unlike, he just walks to the finish line.

• 1:57:17November Kelly?

  It's just a nice guy.

• 1:57:18Justin Roczniak?

  He's got his book, he's got his backpack, you know, he says hello to everyone.

• 1:57:22Liam McAnderson?

  Real blue collar balloon.

• 1:57:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly. Lunch pail, nine to five, well, seven to three, cause he's at school.

• 1:57:31November Kelly?

  I find, I find Big Bird here lightly terrifying, to be honest, like the shadow.

• 1:57:35Liam McAnderson?

  After your slather.

• 1:57:37November Kelly?

  Encompassing embrace, the eyes.

• 1:57:39Speaker 03

  It does look a bit like, yeah, it's something, there's a, there's a dark energy going on there that, that troubles me.

• 1:57:45November Kelly?

  No.

• 1:57:46Justin Roczniak?

  So there's some sense after this incident, there needs to be some kind of reform at the parade after they lost half the balloons and put a woman in a coma. The good news is they have the great, the, the, the most capable man for the job, Rudy Giuliani.

• 1:58:01November Kelly?

  Friggin Giuliani. Check out, check out No Gods, No Mass.

• 1:58:07Justin Roczniak?

  So, yeah, Giuliani does what any good mayor does and convenes a task force to figure out what to do. They came up with a couple of recommendations.

• 1:58:16November Kelly?

  Recommendation number one, put the, put the New York City Emergency Response Center in, in the World Trade Center.

• 1:58:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. Yep. They're gonna limit the size of the balloons. The city's gonna make the call to call off the balloons if winds are high. They're going to require some kind of training for balloon handlers.

• 1:58:35November Kelly?

  Just, just like that's so funny to look at the, at the balloon handlers and be like, you go to school for that? And the answer being no, as well. It's like doubly funny.

• 1:58:46Justin Roczniak?

  They're gonna tether the balloons to vehicles as opposed to just people.

• 1:58:50November Kelly?

  Great. So now Sonic's picked up a pickup truck and it's gonna be swinging around like a tamari.

• 1:58:57Justin Roczniak?

  And they're gonna actually prepare the parade route for balloons by moving like streetlights and things like that.

• 1:59:03Speaker 03

  They didn't do that?

• 1:59:04Justin Roczniak?

  No, why would you do that?

• 1:59:09Justin Roczniak?

  Kathleen Corona made a partial recovery and after suing Macy's, the city, the street line manufacturer, and everyone within two miles, eventually settled out of court. Then in October 2006, Yankees pitcher Corey Lidle flew a Cirrus SR20 into her apartment.

• 1:59:27Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:59:28Liam McAnderson?

  Not intentionally.

• 1:59:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 1:59:30Speaker 03

  But, but yeah. I was gonna say, that's a strange series of events.

• 1:59:36Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:59:37November Kelly?

  I, I, I have to be honest, if this had happened to me, I would attribute that to the earlier brain damage. I would think I had to lose it.

• 1:59:43Justin Roczniak?

  Honestly, yeah. She was, she was, she was not in her, she was not in her apartment at the time.

• 1:59:49November Kelly?

  Yeah, okay, still, but like if you get like, yeah, a fucking Wesley Snipes in, in like baseball 9/11, they did like.

• 1:59:58November Kelly?

  Why did he, what?

• 2:00:00Justin Roczniak?

  Why did, why did all this happen to this woman?

• 2:00:05November Kelly?

  And then we got the coronavirus as well. Like, I, I think genuinely, we should, this woman should seek some kind of like spiritual investigation. That's the only thing I can think of.

• 2:00:14Justin Roczniak?

  Contact immediately. Gonna have to, gonna have to talk to a priest about this one. See if you can get some kind of financial settlement with God.

• 2:00:23November Kelly?

  Running up that hill to make a deal with God.

• 2:00:28November Kelly?

  God settling out of court with no finding of liability.

• 2:00:32Liam McAnderson?

  Don't worry, we will get to the Catholicism episode.

• 2:00:35November Kelly?

  God has to replace your apartment.

• 2:00:40Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, so this meant there were never any incidents at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade again, except for, oh, 2003, the new turkey exploded due to thermal expansion.

• 2:00:56Justin Roczniak?

  2004, Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown's football deflated.

• 2:01:02November Kelly?

  That, okay, that's the funniest possible arrangement. Charlie Brown deflates? Funny. Charlie Brown and the football deflate? Funny. Charlie Brown is fine, but the football deflates?

• 2:01:12Justin Roczniak?

  Hysterical.

• 2:01:16November Kelly?

  A Lucy balloon floating away from the scene.

• 2:01:27Justin Roczniak?

  2005, the red and yellow M and M's brighten up the holidays balloon. That's the name of it.

• 2:01:36Justin Roczniak?

  They have a handling line catch a light post, sending the fixture into the crowd.

• 2:01:40Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, the scattered glass shards into the crowd situation. Again, good stuff.

• 2:01:44November Kelly?

  Listen, I would be fine with that if it was the green M and M showering me with glass, but like, whatever. Who's to say?

• 2:01:50Speaker 03

  Hey, I'm not here to king shame.

• 2:01:51Justin Roczniak?

  2010, the wiggle worm.

• 2:01:54Liam McAnderson?

  The what?

• 2:01:55Speaker 03

  What?

• 2:01:55Justin Roczniak?

  The goddamn worm.

• 2:01:56Liam McAnderson?

  Oh my god. Excuse me. It's, uh, uh, first of all, don't talk about my penis like that. Second of all, my penis does not have these dead soulless eyes.

• 2:02:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, twenty times a pack, my eyes are actually there. Yeah, that's it.

• 2:02:12Justin Roczniak?

  The Wiggle Worm was punctured by a one-way sign.

• 2:02:16Speaker 03

  Oh, I guess there wasn't enough wiggle room.

• 2:02:19Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:02:21Justin Roczniak?

  2012.

• 2:02:23Speaker 03

  Thanks, Liam.

• 2:02:24Justin Roczniak?

  Pikachu's ears exploded due to thermal expansion.

• 2:02:32November Kelly?

  Can, can we actually attribute this to climate change? Because it only seems to be happening in the 2000s. Like 90s, nobody's exploding. They might be killing people or almost, but like, nobody's having their ears blown up.

• 2:02:47Justin Roczniak?

  2019, Goku.

• 2:02:51November Kelly?

  What did he do to New York City?

• 2:02:53Justin Roczniak?

  Goku, Goku knocks down three balloon handlers in a gust of wind, leaving one with an injured shoulder.

• 2:03:01November Kelly?

  Well, now he's defeated them, that means that they're friends.

• 2:03:04Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. And one of the art balloons, the new art balloons they have called Love Flies Up to the Sky.

• 2:03:12November Kelly?

  Oh, this sucks. I hate it.

• 2:03:13Justin Roczniak?

  Uh, wrecked into a portable restroom trailer and broke its face. Then had a tentacle ripped off by a subway map stand.

• 2:03:22Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. The city is fighting back. I'm just imagining this weird tentacle thing smashing into a truck full of porta potties and just sending porta potties.

• 2:03:37November Kelly?

  This is, this is a beautiful tradition. I hope they keep doing it forever.

• 2:03:42Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, this is, uh, I, I love to see a giant balloon, uh, of my favorite cartoon character be destroyed. Accidentally. Potentially causing danger to life and limb.

• 2:03:57November Kelly?

  I, I, I get it now. I was skeptical on the Macy's parade, but now, now I'm, I'm, I'm converted. I'm a believer.

• 2:04:05Speaker 03

  Oh, you will get me appearing like that guy in the GIF who has the like pop-out chair and he just smacks it open.

• 2:04:12Speaker 03

  That will be me at the next one of these. I just, this is incredible. This is a bit like F1, so the, the regulations get tighter, but the, the murder and slaughter gets more and more diverse. It's, it's joyous. It's really quite nice. I love this so much.

• 2:04:26November Kelly?

  I, I, this has been life-changing.

• 2:04:31Speaker 03

  It literally has. I'm a different human. The, the Gareth before is gone. The Gareth of new rises.

• 2:04:39November Kelly?

  And now I now I have a new model for whenever I'm feeling particularly shitty. I can just be like, damn, I feel like Sonic the Hedgehog being slammed into a light.

• 2:04:49Justin Roczniak?

  It's stabbed in the eye. There's there's video of that one, too. It's pretty gnarly.

• 2:04:55Speaker 03

  Oh, gosh.

• 2:04:56Justin Roczniak?

  Like, what a wince. It's like, he got it right, right in the eye.

• 2:05:02November Kelly?

  I don't remember the French word for hedgehog off the top of my head, but uncher ondulub hedgehog.

• 2:05:11Speaker 03

  Oh, and if anyone ever needs cheering up, the wiki art, the the entire wiki for this will provide endless joy.

• 2:05:18Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I'll put I'll put a link to it in the description.

• 2:05:20Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, literally, we have to do that. Yeah.

• 2:05:22November Kelly?

  This is one of the most like, like fucked up things Americans routinely like continue to do on a yearly basis. Like, this is baked in, like drunk driving deaths. It's just.

• 2:05:42November Kelly?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 2:05:43Justin Roczniak?

  We're gonna have to kill some cartoon characters each year.

• 2:05:49November Kelly?

  Listen, I I I, you know, obviously, I support murder in some cases, but I don't support taking away someone's ability to view the next year's Macy's Parade.

• 2:06:01Speaker 03

  Exploded due to their.

• 2:06:03November Kelly?

  I I I need I need badly to see Pikachu's ears exploding, I think. I I I'm gonna seek that out.

• 2:06:12Speaker 03

  Oh, absolutely sensational. What did we learn from this?

• 2:06:15November Kelly?

  Uh, the the NYPD are the thin blue line protecting order from balloon chaos. Were it not for them, every every New Yorker would have been killed by Sonic the Hedgehog, the Pink Panther, and Barney the Dinosaur.

• 2:06:32Justin Roczniak?

  You just see Pikachu looming outside your, like, 50th floor apartment, just staring at.

• 2:06:38November Kelly?

  Parade day, yeah.

• 2:06:39Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:06:41Speaker 03

  Batman Returns, but you just replace all the characters of the their all their own Bane's team with these balloons. And they have to fight the cops at the end. I I would pay good money for that.

• 2:06:52November Kelly?

  We learned that maybe it shouldn't be up to an employee of an apartment store whether or not to fly a bunch of huge balloons down a street in one of the most populated cities in the world.

• 2:07:04Liam McAnderson?

  Yes. No, we didn't learn that. I learned nothing from this, except I, I, I, by heart, I hunger for more balloons.

• 2:07:12November Kelly?

  Yeah, I need to see more of this happening.

• 2:07:14Justin Roczniak?

  We need the, we need the Will Airs your problem balloon.

• 2:07:16Liam McAnderson?

  Give us a balloon. Give us a balloon.

• 2:07:19November Kelly?

  It's just the big, the big do not eat subway token with the, with the hard hat on it.

• 2:07:24Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, I'm gonna have to do that in a Boscoff's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Or now, now it's the six ABC Dunkin' Donuts Thanksgiving Day Parade. That's the Philly one. I don't know if anything funny happened on that one.

• 2:07:35November Kelly?

  Looking forward to settling out of court when the subway token like kills somebody.

• 2:07:44November Kelly?

  Using, using some of Earth's finite reserve of helium on this as well is incredibly funny.

• 2:07:51Justin Roczniak?

  Oh, yeah. Yeah.

• 2:07:52November Kelly?

  It's like so many MRI machines. I mean, luckily you can't afford them anyway because of insurance companies, but like if you could, that, that helium is being diverted to Charlie Brown's football, which feels like an apt metaphor.

• 2:08:06Justin Roczniak?

  It's just that deflated before your eyes.

• 2:08:12Justin Roczniak?

  Well, there's a segment on this podcast called Safety Third.

• 2:08:20Justin Roczniak?

  Huh. Howdy loyal subjects of milkshakes and any potential guests. Milkshakes. Yeah, I only have one milkshake here.

• 2:08:29Liam McAnderson?

  We love it.

• 2:08:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah. Yes. I have a tale that shows how one can follow the correct, correctly safety protocols and still wind up in a situation where they're doing something that's really fucking stupid.

• 2:08:40November Kelly?

  Nice.

• 2:08:40Justin Roczniak?

  Near the turn of the century, I was a trade school student.

• 2:08:44November Kelly?

  I don't like that. That's a phrase you can use now.

• 2:08:48Justin Roczniak?

  Desperately trying to get a job in the field that I was studying for, namely machining. Despite the fact that I've been schooled for a couple of years, I couldn't get a job in my field as I didn't have enough experience. You know how there's that whole catch 22 thing? You can't get a job because you don't have any experience and you can't get any experience because no one will hire you.

• 2:09:10Justin Roczniak?

  Anyway, I eventually managed to find a job working in a small foundry as a grinder slash pouring crew for far less pay than I could get working at the local Walmart. But I took it since if I stayed at the job for a year, I'd have enough on my resume that I could claim experience and thus get hired at a machine shop that paid better than either Wally World or the Foundry.

• 2:09:34November Kelly?

  Fair plan. Okay, yeah.

• 2:09:36Justin Roczniak?

  This particular foundry had a main furnace that could melt just under 1,000 pounds of metal at a time. Roughly 100 pounds of molten metal would be poured into the ladle, held by a two-person crew.

• 2:09:49November Kelly?

  I see the simplified Minecraft illustration here.

• 2:09:52Justin Roczniak?

  Yes, exactly. It's the Tinkers Construct mod that you cast the tools. It's kind of fun. That two-person crew would then take over to take it over to the various molds that were in the pouring area. And after filling up a couple of the molds, they'd go back to the furnace for more metal to pour into the other molds.

• 2:10:12November Kelly?

  Yeah, the pickaxe, pickaxe, sword, etc.

• 2:10:14Justin Roczniak?

  Sword, hammer, hoe, etc. Yes. The ladle was in the middle of what we call the shank that looked like two letter Y's joined at the base. The forked part was where each person holding the shank was located. Both of us wore the correct kind of safety gear, this being leather coats covered in silver Mylar, leather gloves, and a welder's face shield. I want to step further and wore draped cloth draped around much of my head to help protect me from the heat.

• 2:10:46November Kelly?

  Looking very cyberpunk, I imagine.

• 2:10:48Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. One day, as I'm holding my end of the shank, as molten tool steel that was about 4,000 degrees Fahrenheit was being poured into the ladle, I saw a drop of metal splash out from the ladle and head my way. My thought as I saw the drop head towards me was, oh, that'll probably hurt if it hits me.

• 2:11:07November Kelly?

  Yeah, I bet.

• 2:11:11Justin Roczniak?

  I want to point out that as a member of the pouring crew, be it the person who was operating the furnace, someone holding the shank, the mold setter, the person putting the insulation on the mold after it was filled in order to control the rate at which it cooled, or the QA person observing everything to ensure all proper procedures are followed, you could expect to get the kind of burns someone frying bacon in a skillet might get every time we did a pour.

• 2:11:35Speaker 03

  Ugh.

• 2:11:36Justin Roczniak?

  They were annoying, but not particularly large or painful. This drop was large enough for me to know just by looking at it that if it hit me, it would be far, far worse.

• 2:11:45Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:11:47Justin Roczniak?

  A few seconds later, I suddenly became aware of a serious burning situation on my right ass cheek.

• 2:11:53Speaker 03

  Uh, nope.

• 2:11:54November Kelly?

  Hmm. I mean, there's worse places for it, but like, still.

• 2:11:59Justin Roczniak?

  Not that much, yeah.

• 2:12:00Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 2:12:00Justin Roczniak?

  And when I say serious, I mean serious. If you've ever broken a tooth and had to wait a long period of time before you get pain meds stronger than aspirin, you have an idea of what I was feeling. I also couldn't just scream and run around, because if I made any sudden moves, there was a strong chance that the metal would splash out of the ladle, which could put myself and the person at the other end of the shank at risk of life-threatening burns.

• 2:12:23November Kelly?

  Not to, not to be a capitalist here, but I now understand why some of the other jobs wanted you to have experience.

• 2:12:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, hmm, yeah.

• 2:12:32Justin Roczniak?

  I had to stand absolutely rock still while screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to take the goddamn shank out of my hands as I was clearly being burned. One of the other guys on the pouring crew came over, grabbed my end of the shank out of my hands, and I immediately raced off to an area not far from the pouring area, where I was shielded from the heat and could begin stripping off my gear. Once behind the shield, I began taking my stuff off as fast as I could, hoping that this would get rid of the molten metal that was burning me.

• 2:13:03Speaker 03

  I don't like the phrasing of that because this suggests that that does not succeed. I don't like this and I do not like what's coming.

• 2:13:11Justin Roczniak?

  I quickly discovered the metal was in my ass and not embedded in my safety gear. So I reached down, grabbed a hunk of seared flesh and tossed it away.

• 2:13:21November Kelly?

  Oh, Jesus Christ, dude. They, they, they were doing you like a Macy's Day balloon.

• 2:13:29Justin Roczniak?

  Yes. I had to do this a second time to get it all out of me. I then promptly collapsed on a pile of stuff. I was, I had no idea what it all was in front of me.

• 2:13:40November Kelly?

  Cause you were self excavating one ass cheek with, by hand.

• 2:13:46Justin Roczniak?

  I was gasping like someone who'd just been saved from drowning. A moment or so later, the guy who'd taken the shank from me walked back to where I was and asked me if I was going to be able to finish pouring the rest of the heat. Um, a heat being the amount of time it took to pour all the metal in the furnace. A smart person would have responded no, but because of the toxic masculinity culture of the job, we're admitting that suffering from anything other than a sign of life threatening injury meant you were a wimp.

• 2:14:14November Kelly?

  Man, you've got one ass cheek left.

• 2:14:17Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:20November Kelly?

  You're gonna need a, like a prosthetic to sit on a toilet.

• 2:14:23Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, you're gonna need.

• 2:14:24November Kelly?

  Go to hospital.

• 2:14:26Justin Roczniak?

  They're gonna put you in the iron butt.

• 2:14:30November Kelly?

  The man in the iron butt.

• 2:14:32Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:34Justin Roczniak?

  I nodded yes. I put my gear back on and I finished the heat, even though I was in severe pain.

• 2:14:39November Kelly?

  Just, just like, just like a set of ass cheeks that looked like the Phantom of the Opera.

• 2:14:47Liam McAnderson?

  The Joel Embiid mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you.

• 2:14:51Justin Roczniak?

  After we finished the heat, I inspected my gear to try and figure out what had happened. My assumption was the droplet of metal had hit the outside of my coat and burned its way through to my ass. I discovered that what actually had happened was that the droplet had managed to perfectly sail its way between the gap in my coat and my neck caused by the position I needed to be in when the metal was being poured into the ladle. And it was only when the droplet hit my belt that it stuck out. Due to how I had to be crouched over that the molten metal was directed into my ass.

• 2:15:25Speaker 03

  I don't like that. I don't like that. I like, I don't want bad things to happen to my glass. And the idea of it being shredded and then I have to rip out, you have to do the damage to yourself. It makes you rip off your own ass. I don't like this at all.

• 2:15:43Justin Roczniak?

  My solution-

• 2:15:44November Kelly?

  Autogluteectomy or something.

• 2:15:48Speaker 03

  That would be it, yeah.

• 2:15:50Justin Roczniak?

  My solution to ensure this never happened again was to wear a backwards baseball cap while we poured. So if any metal tried to follow the same path, it'd be stopped by the bill of my cap.

• 2:16:01Speaker 03

  I don't feel like my-

• 2:16:02November Kelly?

  That's more faith than I've ever put in the bill of a baseball cap in my life.

• 2:16:08Speaker 03

  Also, it just ripped, it just ripped and shredded an ass, you know, widened this person's intergluteal sulcus by several inches. And yet they're relying on a baseball cap? I-

• 2:16:18November Kelly?

  Just a doctor with a clipboard sitting you down and being like, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you'll never wear a thong again.

• 2:16:29Justin Roczniak?

  Sounds like butt plugs aren't for you. Actually, actually you might need one because the sphincter doesn't work anymore.

• 2:16:37November Kelly?

  Jesus Christ.

• 2:16:39Speaker 03

  You ripped off your own ass.

• 2:16:40Liam McAnderson?

  Blow that like your noble, yeah.

• 2:16:42November Kelly?

  That's, that's gonna be a vivid, a vivid like, mm, no, I, not, not thrilled with knowing that.

• 2:16:49Justin Roczniak?

  This is a, this is a medical butt plug. This is not a sex thing.

• 2:16:55Liam McAnderson?

  This is safety care, fuck off.

• 2:17:01Liam McAnderson?

  PPE for my ass.

• 2:17:02November Kelly?

  My Mylar butt plug.

• 2:17:06Speaker 03

  My asbestos butt plug.

• 2:17:10November Kelly?

  Should be fine, you know, breathing it, like, what's the problem?

• 2:17:13Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 2:17:18Justin Roczniak?

  There's a lot more I could say about that job, like how I came to be in possession of a good

• 2:17:24Justin Roczniak?

  I came in possession of a

• 2:17:25Speaker 03

  What's worse than ripping off half of your own ass? I can't think of many things.

• 2:17:29Justin Roczniak?

  Like how I came in possession of a good sized hunk of magnesium in case I needed to unalive a supervisor, but that probably wouldn't play on the show.

• 2:17:39Speaker 03

  Signed You've said it now and it's on record, so you know.

• 2:17:43November Kelly?

  Yeah, plus I will say this is, this is a pretty distinctive injury. If anybody like has ever met you, they're gonna know because they'll be like, oh, the guy with like, you know, one ass.

• 2:17:52Justin Roczniak?

  The man, the man with, the man with half an ass.

• 2:17:55Speaker 03

  Actually, do we know this? I'd say the person.

• 2:17:57November Kelly?

  We don't know gender, yeah, we don't.

• 2:18:00Liam McAnderson?

  The man who knew too much. Now get ready for the man who pooed too much.

• 2:18:05Justin Roczniak?

  Signed a guy who wouldn't be upset if a particular McDonald's in Pennsylvania burned down because a chunk of flaming magnesium hit it.

• 2:18:13November Kelly?

  It's, it's Throwing a chunk of magnesium into the deep fryer and leaving.

• 2:18:17Liam McAnderson?

  Isn't the camp, isn't the camp hell McDonald's? Cause I have beef with them. Not just because they're McDonald's.

• 2:18:23Justin Roczniak?

  It's the Altoona McDonald's.

• 2:18:25Liam McAnderson?

  That makes sense.

• 2:18:26November Kelly?

  Yeah. I, I, I, whoever, whoever was in charge of not providing you with the safety equipment for that should have one half of their ass burned off and a kind of like blood money.

• 2:18:36Justin Roczniak?

  Well, no, they, they have to donate their ass to you.

• 2:18:40November Kelly?

  Oh, who do you, who do you think donated the ass cheek?

• 2:18:45November Kelly?

  You turn around and look and it's, it's the safety officer who's lying on another bed at a 45 degree angle because they're missing one ass cheek.

• 2:18:56Speaker 03

  It's like a train going around a curve. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Nice.

• 2:19:03Speaker 03

  I applied cant on my ass.

• 2:19:05November Kelly?

  Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Fine.

• 2:19:08November Kelly?

  Oh, you gotta, you gotta put some pseudo cram on that, man. It's, uh, whoa.

• 2:19:13Speaker 03

  I, I, this might be my least favorite ever.

• 2:19:16November Kelly?

  Fistfuls of ass meat.

• 2:19:20Speaker 03

  Ripping out your own.

• 2:19:21November Kelly?

  At least it's got like a nice char on it, like a barbecue, you know, you're like.

• 2:19:25Justin Roczniak?

  Probably overcooked is the thing.

• 2:19:29Justin Roczniak?

  Also, I don't know. I don't know how much this guy is into auto cab, cannibalism anyway. I don't think it's a great idea. That's just my own opinion, though.

• 2:19:40November Kelly?

  This is, this is, this is upsetting. This has been upsetting.

• 2:19:45Speaker 03

  That's gonna, this is gonna haunt me. I am, this is gonna be in my dreams tonight and not, not.

• 2:19:50November Kelly?

  I can't catch, catch me wearing a, like a Mylar turtleneck.

• 2:19:54Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, like sort of a, sort of a tungsten kilt.

• 2:19:58Liam McAnderson?

  I'm gonna be in, I, I'm just.

• 2:19:59Speaker 03

  That actually, that, that sounds like a whip, actually.

• 2:20:01Liam McAnderson?

  Made of marble and lead, yeah.

• 2:20:05November Kelly?

  Oh, the sound of marble suit makes when it moves is upsetting.

• 2:20:10Speaker 03

  Just like grinding rock noises while you're walking around.

• 2:20:14November Kelly?

  Fucking Captain Creep, this is it.

• 2:20:17Justin Roczniak?

  You actually have to move like the fucking angels from Doctor Who. No one can be looking at you.

• 2:20:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, you move by them.

• 2:20:25Justin Roczniak?

  It's just annoying.

• 2:20:27November Kelly?

  British TV of like, oh, this is too cheap to animate. How do we do it? We turn that into like really affecting horror.

• 2:20:33Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:35November Kelly?

  Something this country is good at, something your country is good at, uh, balloon catastrophe.

• 2:20:40Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:40Liam McAnderson?

  You're welcome.

• 2:20:41November Kelly?

  Absolutely.

• 2:20:42Justin Roczniak?

  That was Safety Third.

• 2:20:47November Kelly?

  Cause of you guys that were having balloon catastrophe in English, you know?

• 2:20:50Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:51November Kelly?

  Otherwise it could be dust balloon and catastrophe.

• 2:20:54Justin Roczniak?

  That's Gumi catastrophe.

• 2:21:00Speaker 03

  Oh, best episode, worst Safety Third. What a, what a, what a night.

• 2:21:03Liam McAnderson?

  Yeah, the duality of man.

• 2:21:05Justin Roczniak?

  Our, our next episode will be on Chernobyl. Does anyone have any commercials before we go?

• 2:21:11November Kelly?

  Uh, subscribe to the Patreon. It's, it's, uh, we're funny. This is funny.

• 2:21:15Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, we'll, we'll have, we'll have a bonus episode out this month or so help us God.

• 2:21:19November Kelly?

  Yeah, I mean, I, this, so help us God is relevant to the, you know, topic, I think.

• 2:21:25Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah, otherwise, you know, we'll have an angry patron, um, come and shoot us three times.

• 2:21:32November Kelly?

  Delay, delay, delay.

• 2:21:34Justin Roczniak?

  Yeah.

• 2:21:38Speaker 03

  Ah, listen to all the 150 podcasts that we're all respectively on.

• 2:21:42November Kelly?

  Yeah, listen to No God, Snowmares. We're having a good time with it. We just put out an episode on Michael Applebaum, the former mayor of Montreal.

• 2:21:51Speaker 03

  I had so much fun because I, so I were a very brief cutaway. And yes, we will wrap this. It's like 30 seconds. So I, I work for Atkins, a company that, S and C Lavalin, there you go, Novi will now understand the connection, bought out to greenwash their own name. And it didn't work to the point where they've now jettisoned their old name and renamed themselves Atkins Realis. And it still hasn't worked. And the amount of corruption training they have to do internally is genuinely obstructive to them doing their day jobs. It's quite hilarious. So it's very funny.

• 2:22:23Speaker 03

  So yeah, listen to that episode because it's a lot of fun. I enjoyed listening to that episode quite substantially. It's good. Great. What a pod. What an idea for a pod.

• 2:22:30November Kelly?

  Thank you.

• 2:22:32Speaker 03

  My plug is also that Tom Payne of this parish occasionally is coming on Railnatter. We've, we've recorded a very funny Americana episode about stupid flights that shouldn't exist, but that should ought to be trains. And it, we ended up going extremely long because we both got, well, I got, well, we both got quite drunk.

• 2:22:50Justin Roczniak?

  I heard about that.

• 2:22:53Speaker 03

  It was fun. That'll be going out on literal Christmas day because the, the release schedule of Railnatter is insane. So enjoy that.

• 2:23:01Justin Roczniak?

  All right. And I was just on a podcast about The Simpsons called Mole Man in the Morning. We talked about Marge versus the monorail. And also the episode after that. It was very long, so you better listen to it. So my time was worthwhile.

• 2:23:17Speaker 03

  Exactly. And buy tickets to the remaining shows, see the start of the episode to understand which, which precise places you need to buy tickets.

• 2:23:24Liam McAnderson?

  If there's anybody left after the, I don't know, delirium psychoses we all entered when, again, part of the dinosaur.

• 2:23:32Speaker 03

  Suffering trails were scattered across.

• 2:23:36Liam McAnderson?

  Scattered off Long Island Sound. Yeah. What are you gonna do?

• 2:23:41Justin Roczniak?

  I think they actually repaired that balloon somehow.

• 2:23:45Speaker 03

  They scooped up its insides, popped them back in and got stitching.

• 2:23:49Justin Roczniak?

  Yep. Lot of stitching.

• 2:23:53Speaker 03

  Just imagining them all with like bandages and patches like the year after just like just all these like actual bandages. Anyway, it's beautiful. I am, we should do a big trip to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving parade and get everyone along.

• 2:24:05Justin Roczniak?

  That would be very funny.

• 2:24:07Speaker 03

  But also everyone should bring a pitchfork to just protect themselves if they get if the balloons get too close.

• 2:24:12Justin Roczniak?

  Spring sharp objects.

• 2:24:13Liam McAnderson?

  You'll never take me alive.

• 2:24:15Justin Roczniak?

  Broken bottles.

• 2:24:18Liam McAnderson?

  All right, let's wrap this shit up.

• 2:24:19Justin Roczniak?

  All right.

• 2:24:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:24:21Justin Roczniak?

  That was a podcast. All right. Good night, everyone.

• 2:24:23November Kelly?

  Bye, everyone.