#178 - Mark Normand

Mark Normand returns to the pod to discuss his new special NONE TOO PLEASED (Netflix), getting owned by a heckler who taunted him with the Seinfeld theme song at an early show, being happy when you’re broke and just starting out, James Gandolfini’s last meal, getting out of a DUI with a joke, Steve Harvey’s A-tier game show hosting, Louie Anderson getting blackmailed, and much more. Mark and Stav help callers including a middle school teacher who’s wondering if he should take up one of his student’s offers to hook him up with her adult sister, and a woman in a one-sided nonmonogamous marriage who has no interest in getting intimate with her husband, any of his partners, or anyone in general. Watch Mark Normand’s new special NONE TOO PLEASED out now on Netflix: ​​https://www.netflix.com/title/82155387 See Mark Normand live and follow him on social media: https://marknormandcomedy.com/ https://www.youtube.com/marknormand http://twitter.com/marknorm https://www.instagram.com/marknormand/ https://www.tiktok.com/@marknormandcomedy https://www.facebook.com/Mark-Normand-21895626989 Thank you to our sponsors! Aura Frames - https://auraframes.com/ use code STAVVY to get $25 off the Carver Mat Frame Twisted Tea - https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! Visible - https://www.visible.com/ switch now! ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:24Speaker 01

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• 1:29Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome, everybody, to Stop His World. 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. We've got our boy Mark Norman returning to the couch. Special on Netflix, it's been out for two months at this point.

• 1:50Stavros Halkias?

  As we all know, you gotta get that late April bump. When you're promoting a special, what you need is after it's out of the top 10 to just get it maybe 300 more views.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, thank you. Perfect, we're on YouTube soon.

• 2:08Speaker 04

  But yeah, thank you. Yeah.

• 2:09Stavros Halkias?

  Watch the special.

• 2:10Speaker 04

  It was cooking for a while.

• 2:10Stavros Halkias?

  None too pleased. Very funny stuff. Uh, yeah. Thanks for coming, buddy. Thanks for being back on the program.

• 2:15Speaker 04

  Thanks for having me. Great upgrade with the apartment.

• 2:18Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  This place is sick.

• 2:19Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you.

• 2:19Speaker 04

  You're in Manhattan.

• 2:20Stavros Halkias?

  I'm in Manhattan.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  Your, your doorman's a little annoying, but we had a great time.

• 2:24Stavros Halkias?

  He's the man.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  He's cool. He's cool.

• 2:25Stavros Halkias?

  He really is. I would ra- I like someone attentive.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, he's on it.

• 2:30Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he is, he, he fucking knows it. He'll chat with you.

• 2:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:34Stavros Halkias?

  And if he was bad at his job, it would, it's the most annoying thing of all time. If he's good at his job, you, you get warm when you talk to him. It's like, and it's like a family member that's good versus bad.

• 2:45Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 2:46Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, if you, my mom calls me all the time. It's like, it's my mother. She's done everything for me. It's like, do I re- do I have, do I want to pause what I'm doing and talk to her right now? No, but it's my mother, whatever. But then it's like, some uncle calls you.

• 2:59Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 3:00Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking, just some piece of shit from the motherland needing money.

• 3:03Speaker 04

  Please don't report me. Those were tough, tough times. It was the eighties. But yeah, your mom won't stop calling me. It's the whole thing. But no, I know what you mean. But he saw me dealing with the, uh, the box outside, looking for your name. And he was like, whoa, what are you doing? I was like, I'm going to see Stavros. And he's like, he's a celebrity. And I'm like, I know, I know. I know. I've known it before that. I was around in Kuptown, baby. So.

• 3:27Stavros Halkias?

  Pre Kuptown. You.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  Pre Kuptown.

• 3:29Stavros Halkias?

  I was, I remember that gig we did in, I opened for you. You were opening for Schumer.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 3:36Stavros Halkias?

  And it was a bar.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:38Stavros Halkias?

  In Fell's Point.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  I remember that.

• 3:40Stavros Halkias?

  It was a, I believe Delia Foley's, if I'm not mistaken. So you weren't headlining.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 3:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's how much we've actually known each other.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  Is that you were like featuring, transitioning to headlining.

• 3:52Speaker 04

  Right.

• 3:52Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like featuring solidly.

• 3:55Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 3:55Stavros Halkias?

  That's when we like, and then yes, that was a very funny, that was a hilarious gig too. Cause it was just like, you, you know.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  And we just got hammered.

• 4:02Stavros Halkias?

  We got so fucked up.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  Back then, cause we were all sad.

• 4:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 4:06Speaker 04

  But we had some good times and.

• 4:07Stavros Halkias?

  We had some great times.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:09Stavros Halkias?

  That was fun shit. A shitty Baltimore fucking bar, getting drunk as hell. And then I, was I living with my parents?

• 4:16Speaker 04

  Yeah. Nothing to lose back then. You were like, I, I talked to Bobby Kelly. I think I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna go on the road with him. This is good. I was like, whoa, wait a minute. Quit bragging. Holy shit. We had nothing going on.

• 4:29Stavros Halkias?

  What a beautiful fucking innocent time.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, Baltimore was cool, but I did a guy, a show in a guy's house. He had like a three story crazy house and then he had a house party.

• 4:39Stavros Halkias?

  We did that show too. That was, I took you to that show.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  That was, okay, yeah. That was amazing. That was fun.

• 4:44Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to a friend of the show, Peter Muth. He's been on the show. Yes, that house was awesome, dude. That was like, they had like, just some guy owned it. And it was like, just a, it was like the classic, it's like when a rich kid like puts his powers to use for good.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 5:02Stavros Halkias?

  When it's like, hey, I've got the resources, I'm buying a house and I'm not gonna be, cause there's nothing worse than when a fucking rich kid would remind you who's Nintendo 64 was. When they're like, when they're getting bullied because their personality's bad, you know? And like, oh, okay, I guess we won't play my Donkey Kong country.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  That was the worst.

• 5:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, no, it's okay, dude. We all, we, we were joking about wanting to fuck your mom.

• 5:28Speaker 04

  I had a friend with GoldenEye. If you started beating him, he would just unplug it. And I was like, you're a fucking school shooter, before school shooter, you're a terrorist. He was the worst.

• 5:38Stavros Halkias?

  That's the worst. But this guy had a little money, bought a fucking, and let the, let the boys hang out, had great parties.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  It was a fixer-upper, but it was fun. It was just beer everywhere.

• 5:48Stavros Halkias?

  I missed it, dude.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  Made out with a girl in the bathroom, I remember.

• 5:51Stavros Halkias?

  Love that.

• 5:51Speaker 04

  That was fun. Fun times.

• 5:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I, uh, yeah, I, I, that, how, that party, that house was maybe one of the first places I had like confidence separate from anything. You know, where it was like, that was, I remember like getting to fuck girls from parties at that house and being like, whoa, I'm not a fucking fat gay loser anymore. I can get a girl with big tits to come to my shitty apartment.

• 6:16Speaker 04

  That was the best.

• 6:17Stavros Halkias?

  To come to my shitty, to, or like the first time you're like, wanna get, the first time you say, wanna get out of here?

• 6:23Speaker 04

  Oh, it works. Yeah. You wanna go watch TV?

• 6:26Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like 22 and I'm like, wanna get out, I don't believe it. I'm like, oh, my voice is cracking. Wanna get out of here?

• 6:35Speaker 04

  That was great. The first time you start getting laid after parties, you're like, oh, getting drunk was fun, but this is, this is what I wanna do for the rest of the time.

• 6:44Stavros Halkias?

  I should stay sober and get them drunk. Maybe even get like, I don't know, some kind of medicine that gets them drunk faster.

• 6:52Speaker 04

  You put on a Cosby record?

• 6:57Stavros Halkias?

  Joke, satire, satire. We are not rapists of any sort.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Humor, humor, folks. It's good for you.

• 7:05Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yes. Oh, man. Now you're, now you're putting me down memory lane too.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:09Stavros Halkias?

  That, what would you say is the best year of your life?

• 7:12Speaker 04

  Woo!

• 7:13Stavros Halkias?

  If you had to pick one year.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  Wow, that's tough, man.

• 7:15Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it's a tough one, cause you know, you've obviously accomplished playing stuff and even in the special, great special about having a kid, there's so much good material there. You know, you're, you've accomplished professionally, personally, shit's going good. But when you have to boil down, and there's different metrics too, right? There's like pure happiness.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  Right.

• 7:32Stavros Halkias?

  There's being carefree, cause those years, mine might be the year we met when I was living in my friends. My friends were letting me live in a subsidized house.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 7:42Stavros Halkias?

  Where it was like, they literally just let me pay $300 worth of rent.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah.

• 7:46Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, guys, that's all I can afford. And, and, and basically my pitch was, you want $400 more a month, but the guy could be annoying?

• 7:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:53Stavros Halkias?

  Or do you want the, I'm the, I'm the best hang of all time, baby?

• 7:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:58Stavros Halkias?

  And they went for it.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  That's pretty good.

• 8:01Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Straight George, friend of the program, was one of the original patron and...

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Was there a gay George?

• 8:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, but if you met George, you'd know why he's called Straight George.

• 8:10Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 8:11Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you have to let people know he's straight.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  Got it, got it. A feminine man. Got it, got it. Okay.

• 8:19Stavros Halkias?

  Um, and I won't dox the other person, but may, we should come up with a nickname for him as well. Cause he, we gotta get him in the mix a little bit. My old, my old roommate from that year in Baltimore. Uh, very, I don't wanna give away his personal information until I know he's cool with it. But we had a very funny setup. And anyway, there's something about that to me that was like, um, I don't know, there's like the, uh, how intoxicating potential is.

• 8:43Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 8:44Stavros Halkias?

  You don't have to do anything. You just have to maybe do something.

• 8:46Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 8:47Stavros Halkias?

  So it's like, I'm like, dude, I'm, yeah, like you said, dude, Bobby Kelly might let me open.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:51Stavros Halkias?

  I get to share, I get to share a Best Western with Chris Scopo. You know what I mean? Like, I get to get the laugh, I get to do fucking Seven at Laugh Boston.

• 8:59Speaker 04

  Oh, that was, yeah, Hope is the best.

• 9:01Stavros Halkias?

  Hope.

• 9:02Speaker 04

  Cause, you know, we've all made it, but it's, you're still not as happy as you are. When you were about to make it.

• 9:07Stavros Halkias?

  No, exactly.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  The journey is what it's all about.

• 9:10Stavros Halkias?

  And not even, a lot of the journey actually sucks dick.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 9:14Stavros Halkias?

  There's four good parts of the journey. It's like, it's not even, it's the journey is the destination. It's like, no, they're both dog shit. But you're happy like for four days out of the 25 year journey.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's the little wins. You get laid here, you have a great night here. It's kinda like when you, uh, you're driving to get coke. It's almost more fun than the coke.

• 9:36Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, the second you're fucking, the, when you're in the car.

• 9:39Speaker 04

  Yes, you're like, whoa, baby.

• 9:41Stavros Halkias?

  And then you're fucking sad as fuck afterwards.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, then you hate yourself the next day, nothing but regret.

• 9:47Stavros Halkias?

  But on the way there. Spent 12 hours talking about Donkey Kong in a fucking, in a hotel room with four other guys. What, we all offered drugs to the one hot girl. She did a line and left.

• 9:59Speaker 04

  And left.

• 9:59Stavros Halkias?

  And then it was just us talking about GameCube. I don't fucking know. I don't know. I just like it. I like, well, I like GameCube better. It doesn't fucking matter. Mario Kart. Alright, fine. You're a fucking PlayStation guy. I'm a fucking Nintendo guy. Fucking fuck, you know.

• 10:10Speaker 04

  I love Mario. You get the three red shells. You're unbeatable. I play with Yoshi. Yeah, yeah.

• 10:15Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, being such a fucking loser that you're doing coke or Adderall, I remember doing these exact thing happening at a party. And then me being like, oh, nice. I feel like, you know, I tried Adderall. I snorted Adderall for the first time in, in college. And I'm feeling like, you know, you're buzzing. You're like, this is awesome. I'm gonna fucking party all night. And I just ended up truly playing GameCube upstairs. Upstairs, where you go to smoke weed.

• 10:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:40Stavros Halkias?

  Usually you go, you go in, you smoke weed in the one room at the college house.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 10:45Stavros Halkias?

  And you, and you leave and you try and get pussy, whatever. I got, I was on Adderall. I smoked weed. And I just truly played fucking Mario Kart.

• 10:52Speaker 04

  I bet you had a good time, though.

• 10:54Stavros Halkias?

  It was okay, but it was.

• 10:55Speaker 04

  Into it when you're all jacked up.

• 10:57Stavros Halkias?

  One of those where it's like, you're like, oh yeah, what did I play? Like two games of Mario Kart? And you're like, 4:30.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 11:04Stavros Halkias?

  Where's, where's the girl? I fucking don't, I don't even like these guys. I just got in the zone.

• 11:10Speaker 04

  Yeah. And what do you say when you go downstairs? Like where, they're like, where the fuck were you? You're like. I was uh, trying to get pussy. You can't say I was playing GameCube for four hours.

• 11:20Stavros Halkias?

  I was playing GameCube. Yeah, you just go downstairs. It's one fat guy playing an acoustic guitar. And you're like, just two guys making out in the kitchen. You're like, ah, fuck.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's, yeah, dude, that, there's something about the clock, truly, I think that, cause to me, I keep coming back to that one year in Baltimore.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:37Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, right before I move.

• 11:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:39Stavros Halkias?

  I'm making friends with other comics. Like, the fact that, cause when you're in a small town, you think you might be funny, but then when you like, comics that you like, think are good, actually tell you that.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's big.

• 11:53Speaker 04

  Oh, it's huge. That's huge. Anytime, cause you're just swimming in nothing. You're like, am I good? Am I bad? What is going on? Am I ever gonna make it? You have no, like, no lifeline. So when anybody said like, hey, you got something, or that's a great bit, you were like, oh, thank you.

• 12:08Stavros Halkias?

  And then that feeds into just your light, your, your like, uh, confidence as a guy.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:14Stavros Halkias?

  So then, and then you're like, oh, yeah, this is awesome. It's, it's second semester, senior year stuff, too. Where it's like, senioritis, especially when you're gonna go from a small city to a big city.

• 12:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:24Stavros Halkias?

  And then, you know, you move to New York, you wanna kill yourself for a decade.

• 12:27Speaker 04

  Sure, sure.

• 12:27Stavros Halkias?

  But man, that year in Baltimore, baby.

• 12:30Speaker 04

  Cause it's all up. Everything's up. And you, I don't know about you, my imagination is so gay. I'm like, picturing me killing there and like, Todd Barry high fiving me. And a guy with a cigar with his feet up going, you got it, kid, you know? Meanwhile, I bombed, I bombed in New York for like, two years.

• 12:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Cause I was doing rough rooms and uh, I remember one time I went on stage and I was just doing Seinfeld for the first year. And this guy went, I was walking to the mic and he goes, and it crushed me. I was crushed, cause he got me right to the core. He nailed it. And I was like, you're right. And I just went off on him on the mic and uh,

• 13:06Stavros Halkias?

  How dare you? I'm a totally different kinda comic.

• 13:11Speaker 04

  What's the deal with assholes? Yeah.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  I didn't break in New York like out of my bullshit like rolled up sleeves. What's the deal with till a guy heckled me and I called him out and that was working. So that's kind of how I broke free of that.

• 13:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fucking. Yeah, it is very funny how depressing the first couple of years are.

• 13:30Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:31Stavros Halkias?

  So what, what do you think? Me, I was a bedbugs guy.

• 13:34Speaker 04

  Really?

• 13:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  Oh, it's hell.

• 13:36Stavros Halkias?

  It sucks. I'm still like paranoid.

• 13:38Speaker 04

  You wake up like a nom vet.

• 13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I bought my first non-metal bed this year.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  Woo.

• 13:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's been 10 years and for like five years I would wake up and be like, I got him.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:48Stavros Halkias?

  I got him.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 13:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it will fuck with you forever, but.

• 13:51Speaker 04

  I thought I had an STD. I went to the hospital because I didn't know about bedbugs. And he was like, I don't know. I think you're fine because I had them all over here.

• 13:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  All the legs. And I was like, oh, this is bad. And he goes, I give you a biopsy, but you don't have healthcare. It's going to be like two grand.

• 14:04Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my God.

• 14:04Speaker 04

  Two grand. Jesus.

• 14:05Stavros Halkias?

  A biopsy?

• 14:06Speaker 04

  Meaning like they, they take a sample and examine it and all this. And I was like, fuck it, let's do it. And I like went into my savings or whatever.

• 14:15Stavros Halkias?

  God, to find out you have bedbugs.

• 14:16Speaker 04

  To find out. He's like, yeah, it's a bite. It's a mosquito bite. And I was like, fuck me. I wish I had an STD, you cunt.

• 14:22Stavros Halkias?

  Also, what kind of STD are you thinking is on your thigh? Like just you've got rotten pussy juice on your thighs?

• 14:27Speaker 04

  I didn't know. I didn't know because, you know, I was hooking up with some real trash back then.

• 14:31Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, of course. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot power by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobbies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible for us to help all our callers out. Oh, my God, they're the best. Switch today at visible.com. The Visible plan starts at $25 a month

• 15:11Stavros Halkias?

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• 15:18Speaker 05

  Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 15:43Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, so, okay, what, what now, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but do you have like an era or a year? That if you had to put?

• 15:50Speaker 04

  Ooh.

• 15:51Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have one? Cause I do think my answer probably would be the year I'm 24, right before I moved to New York.

• 15:57Speaker 04

  Is your best year?

• 15:58Stavros Halkias?

  I think just pure happiness.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  That's pretty good.

• 16:01Stavros Halkias?

  I was broke as fuck. I had no money. I'm eating fucking beans and I would cook beans and eggs in the oven.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 16:07Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it was quicker.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 16:09Stavros Halkias?

  Eat off the aluminum foil.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 16:13Stavros Halkias?

  It's like what I could fucking afford.

• 16:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:15Stavros Halkias?

  And chicken thighs. That was like when I wanted to splurge, I would, I would have chicken thighs.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  I still buy that rack of frozen ones and the wife cooks them up. It's amazing. But yeah. That's pretty, I might go 2011.

• 16:25Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  That was a good year. I like started opening for Schumer, quit my job. I got into the cellar in about 2013. And I was doing the road. She got up to arenas. So I was, you know, getting laid by, you know, arena gals and uh, that was pretty great.

• 16:41Stavros Halkias?

  While you were in like an eight year relationship too, or?

• 16:43Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 16:44Stavros Halkias?

  Were you, you, you broken it off?

• 16:46Speaker 04

  I dated a girl for like 10 years, high school sweetheart, college sweetheart, moved to New York together, did comedy. She hated it. That broke us up. Then I was single for like four years. I went ape shit and then

• 16:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:59Speaker 04

  You know, that's

• 16:59Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great time to be single is opening for Amy Schumer and arenas.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Cause yeah, she can't fuck them.

• 17:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  You know? So, uh, that was exciting. Yeah.

• 17:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:08Speaker 04

  Just private jet. Everything was crazy and new and she paid so well. I bought an apartment off the money.

• 17:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  She paid me. Yeah. Like so, that was good times. Then I met the, uh, eventually met the future Mrs. Norman.

• 17:19Stavros Halkias?

  Look at that.

• 17:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:20Stavros Halkias?

  That's beautiful.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  So I had a good, I had a good run. It was, it was a roller coaster.

• 17:23Stavros Halkias?

  2011, that's nice.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. If I had to pinpoint it. And I was at the cellar every night and just, you know, Sam's there and Liz is there. We're all hanging out. It was, it was a good, good core crew.

• 17:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elders, do you have a one year that stands out to you?

• 17:35Speaker 06

  Uh, honestly, the year when I was working at CBS Radio.

• 17:42Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that year. We were roommates.

• 17:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, that was like just such a nothing job. And I, and I had just a very productive, like three to six months where I was like legit exercising. Just went to like monk borderline incel mode.

• 17:56Stavros Halkias?

  And then you met your wife.

• 17:57Speaker 06

  Then, then I met my wife soon after that.

• 18:00Stavros Halkias?

  Be your, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:01Speaker 06

  So that was a pretty good time in my life. I fucked with that.

• 18:04Stavros Halkias?

  You, you were happy. That is true.

• 18:06Speaker 06

  I was happy.

• 18:07Stavros Halkias?

  You could dip into getting high and eating Ben and Jerry's whenever you wanted to, because I was there holding that down still, for sure. I was still depressed while you were coming out of it.

• 18:16Speaker 04

  And you just had the Ben and Jerry's already?

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, we had the Ben and Jerry's in that house was fucked up.

• 18:21Speaker 06

  There were little pints everywhere.

• 18:23Stavros Halkias?

  Spent, I mean.

• 18:25Speaker 04

  That's not cheap, those jugs.

• 18:26Stavros Halkias?

  It's not. At the time, the price, at the time, this is almost 10 years ago, six bucks probably for, for, for like the, for like the.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  The pint?

• 18:35Stavros Halkias?

  The pint.

• 18:36Speaker 04

  That's a lot.

• 18:36Stavros Halkias?

  And I'm probably averaging 20 a month.

• 18:40Speaker 04

  Woo!

• 18:42Stavros Halkias?

  And that's, that's, that's might be low end.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  20 a month is crazy.

• 18:46Stavros Halkias?

  If we're being honest, that might be on the low end.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  For someone that doesn't menstruate, that is a lot of ice cream.

• 18:50Stavros Halkias?

  So that's 100, that's 180, let's just, let's say 200, $200 a month when my rent was $500.

• 19:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my God, I've never done the numbers. My rent was 500 and my ice cream budget was 200 and I made no money.

• 19:07Speaker 04

  Oh my God. You're crushing like the way Shane is with Bud Lights. You're doing pints of Ben and Jerry's.

• 19:13Speaker 06

  It was a bloodbath in there, Mark. Your, your Ben and Jerry's pint was never safe in that freezer.

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  Never, never.

• 19:18Speaker 06

  I would never hesitate, especially when I was like high as fuck at night. I was like, hmm, I'll have a couple.

• 19:23Stavros Halkias?

  It was prison rules. It was truly prison rules.

• 19:26Speaker 06

  And I was like, well, what's the worst that could happen? I'll just go to the grocery store and get another one. If he gives up.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's great. You're like Norm at the bodega, you know, they're like, hey, stop! And they put one on the table.

• 19:40Stavros Halkias?

  No, you know, I never settled into my, the right ice cream spot. I always had to look at five different, I had like a, a, a network of bodegas I would go to.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:49Stavros Halkias?

  Cause some of them didn't have the good shit.

• 19:50Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 19:51Stavros Halkias?

  I like truly knew when like my bodega got ice cream shipments.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 19:55Stavros Halkias?

  I knew when.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  This is like Miami drug shit, you know, you know when the chopper's coming in.

• 20:01Stavros Halkias?

  I was like, oh, fuck, we're behind.

• 20:03Speaker 06

  It's like, don't, don't go to the corner. They don't have anything except strawberry cheesecake.

• 20:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  Give me the chunky monkey. There's a one called like late night something.

• 20:12Stavros Halkias?

  Tonight dough.

• 20:13Speaker 04

  Tonight dough.

• 20:14Stavros Halkias?

  Who are you talking to, pal? And later they would make a variant called Netflix and chilled. That was very similar to that.

• 20:22Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 20:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I loved, actually that was more chunky, that was more chubby hubby.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 20:27Stavros Halkias?

  I was a chubby hubby guy and Netflix and chilled had some similar core elements.

• 20:31Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 20:31Stavros Halkias?

  So you listen, you ever want to talk Ben and Jerry's, we're the guys to talk.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Uh, do you go cream based or do you, or like vanilla based or chocolate based?

• 20:39Stavros Halkias?

  It depends. I probably find myself gravitating chocolate.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Same.

• 20:43Stavros Halkias?

  Or, or something interesting.

• 20:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I liked about the chubby hubby. It was malt flavored ice cream. So it wasn't quite vanilla. It was vanilla with a little twist.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 20:52Stavros Halkias?

  They also had the cores at the time. In fact, now I walk by a freezer and I see the new stuff that I missed out on and it really makes me feel nostalgic.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  What, you gave up? It's not too late?

• 21:02Stavros Halkias?

  I can't be.

• 21:02Speaker 04

  You can have a taste.

• 21:03Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, I cannot, if I let that back into my life.

• 21:07Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 21:07Stavros Halkias?

  You have no, I, I really think ice cream is my will, when it all is said and done, is my greatest addiction.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 21:15Stavros Halkias?

  When it's all, when I really think about how many times in my life, what I can give up the easiest. It was weed for a long time, food, I guess in general, but if we really boil it down to the type, the, the food, that's the problem.

• 21:31Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 21:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's the fact that at night I can tack on anywhere from 300 to 3,000 calories.

• 21:38Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 21:38Stavros Halkias?

  And desserts only.

• 21:40Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 21:40Stavros Halkias?

  And so I think like, dude, there's a, I like. Even, there was like, there's like been years of my life where I still have ice cream almost every day, but it's Halo Top. Like, I've been on methadone.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  What's that?

• 21:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's like low cal.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 21:54Stavros Halkias?

  It's not good. It doesn't taste good. But it's about, it's about the ritual of eating an entire pint.

• 21:59Speaker 04

  You ever do the thing where you eat it with a fork and you kind of skim the top and you think you're eating less? But you're still just there for an hour and a half. It still goes down that much, but you're like, ugh.

• 22:08Stavros Halkias?

  Well, then you can, you can dislodge the, the brownie bits easier.

• 22:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true. God, you're talking like Charlie Sheen in the documentary.

• 22:16Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, it really is the, the way, yes, truly Charlie Sheen. That's, that's what's in my, like, I bought, hopefully what, what we'll say. I, I've given up on quitting ice cream and I bought one of the Ninja Creamy machines where you can make your own ice cream bases.

• 22:32Speaker 04

  Whoa, no, you're making it at home.

• 22:33Stavros Halkias?

  But you can make, you make it from like a protein shake.

• 22:36Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 22:37Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like 250 calories.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  All right.

• 22:39Stavros Halkias?

  But it's a whole, it's a whole pint.

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 22:42Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, we'll see. We'll, I'll keep you updated on how that goes.

• 22:45Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm just worried you're gonna pull like a Matthew Perry in a hot tub. You're gonna have one last night and it's gonna be all these canisters around you.

• 22:51Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not kidding, the, hearing about Gandolfini's last meal.

• 22:56Speaker 04

  They have the meal on, on record.

• 22:58Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes I just look at that and I'm like, like, I'm not joking, like, I'm calm thinking about that.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've looked at that so many times too.

• 23:07Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I, the thing that always stands out is the double fried shrimp.

• 23:11Speaker 04

  I know.

• 23:12Stavros Halkias?

  That he had a thing of fried shrimp and he said, fuck it, I'm on vacation, give me a whole other one.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Yes, and he was in Rome.

• 23:19Stavros Halkias?

  He was in Rome with his new wife.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:22Stavros Halkias?

  He's got the best room of all time, dies in like a hot tub probably. Like, I think, I think it was like, you, do you have the thing pulled up?

• 23:29Speaker 04

  I think there was a couple pina coladas in there.

• 23:31Speaker 06

  Two orders of fried king prawns, a large portion of foie gras.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  Oh, that's what did it. That's what did it.

• 23:37Speaker 06

  Four shots of rum, two pina coladas and two beers, which is like. That, you know, I'm gonna do that every day at the beach this summer. You know, I mean, that's nothing.

• 23:48Stavros Halkias?

  That's awesome.

• 23:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 23:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's the combination. It's the speedball, a foie gras and four shots of rum.

• 23:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's incredible. That's an incredible order, dude.

• 23:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, it really is. Yeah.

• 23:58Stavros Halkias?

  I want to experience that so, like, is it fucked up to take solace in one, in the way one of your heroes died? When you know you have the exact same problem?

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 24:08Stavros Halkias?

  Like, I hear that, and as morbid as it is, I'm like, that sounds aw- maybe it's because I'm depressed? Cause I'm like, I would love to have a great day in Italy.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:17Stavros Halkias?

  Have a great meal and die peacefully in my sleep.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  That sounds nice.

• 24:22Stavros Halkias?

  And I do think it's because I'm depressed. Honestly, I do think I'm sort of, it's like, even being fat is kind of coward suicide. Where you're like-

• 24:30Speaker 04

  Oh, it's slow.

• 24:31Stavros Halkias?

  It's slow.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Right, it's like a gas leak.

• 24:32Stavros Halkias?

  Eventually this will happen, but I don't have the guts to do it.

• 24:36Speaker 04

  And you're having a good time on the way there with all the food. But also, Bourdain should have gone that way, too. Let's be honest. Bourdain, I think, what, he hung himself or something?

• 24:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, who knows? You know, we really can't get into the end of Bourdain's life, you know? But I do hear there's a great film coming out, dealing with another, the earlier part of his life, that everyone should really enjoy.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  Oh, hey, alright.

• 24:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, something called Tony. And I may or may not play a fat line cook in it.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  Whoa, alright, okay. Wow, is it documentary?

• 25:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 25:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's a movie from the future. It's the first, it's the first ever time travel movie. I'm fucking 50 in just a Greek restaurant, cooking up fucking calamari.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 25:23Stavros Halkias?

  But, yeah, dude, it is, sometimes I'm like, is this morbid, how much like, I'm not getting comfort I get out of thinking about dying like James Gandolfini?

• 25:32Speaker 04

  That is pretty badass. He went out happy.

• 25:34Stavros Halkias?

  And we don't know that. It's obviously tragic, and I feel bad for his family, but- In that mo- like sometime, I guess again, who knows? Maybe it's purely depression and craving death on some level.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  It's also tough for the wife. She's like, my husband and also the bill. She's gotta get that bill in Rome. I'm sure that was a couple of grand.

• 25:55Stavros Halkias?

  We're sorry, can we, uh, before the ambulance get here, can we just settle up?

• 26:02Speaker 04

  Exactly. She's like, I'm with my husband here. You gotta leave with the gurney. That's how you get out of that one.

• 26:06Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, absolutely. What, yeah, do you, have you thought about your death at all? Are you a man who thinks about mortality?

• 26:13Speaker 04

  I should, cause I-

• 26:14Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you're anxious, but it doesn't feel like you're worried about the ultimate-

• 26:17Speaker 04

  I'm not worried about death. I'm worried about people and you know, whatever. But like I drive drunk, I don't wear a helmet when I ride a bike. I do, I do a lot of drugs. I, I, uh, yeah, I should worry about that. I, I, I live on the edge.

• 26:30Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 26:31Speaker 04

  Like list is worried, he's like, look at this lump on my leg. It's cancer, I'm going down. I have none of that. I could have like a big old egg shaped carbuncle in my ass. And I'm like, let it ride, you know, just go around it. But, uh, yeah, I don't worry about death too much, but I should. Cause I, I got doored once on a, on a bike.

• 26:50Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  Went over the door.

• 26:52Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit.

• 26:53Speaker 04

  I was on my moped and I hit a pothole.

• 26:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, so this is kinda recent?

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Well, the doored was about six months ago. The moped was about two years ago.

• 27:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 27:01Speaker 04

  Pothole fell off, no helmet, knocked out on Eighth Avenue.

• 27:05Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  In the street and construction workers carried me onto the sidewalk. And I woke up and I was like fucking so in pain. My head was ringing and they were like, you good? I was like, I'm good. They walked away and they pulled my bike off and I just rode home.

• 27:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my, you rode home in the bike?

• 27:20Speaker 04

  And I was so in pain, but you just faked it, you know? You ever like walk into a glass wall? And you're like, hey everybody, ah! And your, your nose is hurting like hell, but you just gotta go, oh! They're all laughing at you and you pretend to laugh and you wanna kill yourself. Yeah.

• 27:35Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting.

• 27:36Speaker 04

  So I should, I should take it easy and I got a kid now, so I should-

• 27:38Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I was gonna, does the kid have, add any like worrying about just you have to be around for it?

• 27:44Speaker 04

  Yes, it does give you that, which is kinda nice, cause I had no reason to live before, you know? I just wanna come up with a new bid, have a good, have a cocktail. But now I'm like, oh, I should, uh, eat right and whatever.

• 27:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Exercise, hang out. Yeah, and you gotta set an example for him.

• 28:01Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, that's, that's fucking hilarious to think about.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I got, I got pulled over drunk driving once. This is like a-

• 28:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  A month ago.

• 28:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 04

  And uh.

• 28:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:12Speaker 04

  How fucked up is this? The cop was like, wait, are you that comedian? And I'm like, oh, yeah. And he goes, make me laugh and I'll let you go. True story. I'm not gonna say the state, cuz it might fuck the guy.

• 28:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  But I told a black joke, he didn't laugh.

• 28:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what's gonna happen? Yeah, definitely, the police will be held accountable for their actions. You're right, Mark.

• 28:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:30Stavros Halkias?

  You could have a fucking video of a guy shooting a woman in the head and they'll be like, ah, we don't know. But God forbid you say Alabama on a podcast. Anyway, go ahead.

• 28:40Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, it was Rhode Island.

• 28:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  And uh, small state. But uh, yeah, he was a cool guy and he was a comedy fan. And I told a black joke, he didn't laugh. And I was like, uh-oh. And I told a gay joke, he didn't laugh. I told a trans joke and he died. And he's like, get the hell out of here. And I was like, brrrr.

• 28:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's so funny. We can track what's hack.

• 28:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:58Stavros Halkias?

  In real time. Like, oh, I guess, uh, I guess, yep, oh.

• 29:02Speaker 04

  I figured, you know.

• 29:02Stavros Halkias?

  This is what a cop will like.

• 29:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, blue collar guy. He'll love it.

• 29:06Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, they've really evolved. The black joke didn't work. He's like, he's like, oh, can you, he turns his body cam on.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:12Stavros Halkias?

  Give me the black joke again.

• 29:16Stavros Halkias?

  Turns it back on. I find that very tasteless, Mr. Norman, just winking at you the whole time. That's so fucking funny.

• 29:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, good times.

• 29:24Stavros Halkias?

  What's going on that like, cops think about trans peo- or like, just blue collar? It has become the go-to if you're fucking stupid. It's like Polish jokes, or like racist, or whatever. Now it is trans in a way where it's like, why do this many, it's like, you don't fucking live in, listen, you live on the Lower East Side, you live in Bushwick.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:48Stavros Halkias?

  You might come across trans, but it's like, I bet most of those people see a trans person in their life.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  I think that's what it is. I think they're not exposed to it. So they're like, ooh, that's kind of exotic. Like a joke about it. And they hear about it so much, you know?

• 30:03Stavros Halkias?

  It's like autistic and trans, the clock's ticking. On those jokes, you know what I mean? Cause it's like, cause it is the, cause they're both novelties. I think you're right.

• 30:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:13Stavros Halkias?

  It is like, it's more new and it's more nuanced than.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Right, right. And you get the pronouns. There's a lot of layers to trans, you know? There's the, and you get a dick joke.

• 30:23Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  It goes kind of back to the dick joke.

• 30:25Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure, sure. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 04

  There's a lot there.

• 30:28Stavros Halkias?

  It is so fascinating. Like, I don't know how the fuck it happened that culturally that's like a main signifier.

• 30:33Speaker 04

  Well, it's the newest thing too. It's like the newest thing to joke about, you know? Like Polish is so 50s.

• 30:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 30:39Speaker 04

  You know, then it was like blonde jokes.

• 30:40Stavros Halkias?

  I guess that's true. I guess it, it starts in pure, it starts in pure color. Starts pure black, white.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Yes, easy.

• 30:48Stavros Halkias?

  Or, you know, whatever, different color. And then it moves on. That's, that is fascinating. I wonder what the next.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  What's the next thing?

• 30:55Stavros Halkias?

  What's the next?

• 30:55Speaker 04

  Everyone like dick pics were a thing, you know, with the iPhone. Everybody, now everybody has a dick pic joke or dating apps and everybody's a dating app joke.

• 31:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:03Speaker 04

  So, yeah, what is the next thing?

• 31:04Stavros Halkias?

  What's the next demographic?

• 31:06Speaker 04

  I don't know, pedos? But yeah, pedos has been around.

• 31:09Stavros Halkias?

  Pedos is pretty fair.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  That's timeless.

• 31:10Speaker 06

  Albanians?

• 31:12Stavros Halkias?

  You wish.

• 31:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, no one cares enough about the Albanians.

• 31:15Stavros Halkias?

  You fucking wish, dude.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  You got Belushi's.

• 31:18Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  They're Albanian.

• 31:19Stavros Halkias?

  They do have, there is a little internet cachet to Albanians right now. That's true.

• 31:23Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 31:23Stavros Halkias?

  And now this unfortunately is, is positioned as one of the top online Albanians.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Another one of the, another thing, yeah, another one of the many things he doesn't deserve. Ah.

• 31:33Stavros Halkias?

  That he gets.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  And that hairline, god damn it, man.

• 31:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:37Speaker 04

  That is wild. That's a perfect hairline.

• 31:40Stavros Halkias?

  Do you covet the hairline? You're looking okay.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  I'm okay. I, I do the propiche. I grow it out long.

• 31:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 31:46Speaker 04

  But when it's wet, I look like a sweaty rabbi. It's bad. I, I worry about a pool. I don't get my hair wet.

• 31:52Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, ooh, okay. You'll get in the pool with the fuck it. Yeah, yeah.

• 31:56Speaker 04

  Sometimes like a joke, you'd like, you can just let it ride.

• 31:58Stavros Halkias?

  There's a certain level of freedom.

• 31:59Speaker 04

  That's a beautiful thing.

• 32:00Stavros Halkias?

  Not caring.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:01Stavros Halkias?

  Or, yeah, you're kind of in no man's land.

• 32:03Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 32:04Stavros Halkias?

  Cause you're not, you're not gonna go, it doesn't seem like you're gonna go to Turkey.

• 32:07Speaker 04

  Right now, no chance. But you're out, you're out of Nam. I'm still in the shit. I'm like in the bush.

• 32:12Stavros Halkias?

  No, I've, no, I went native.

• 32:15Stavros Halkias?

  I'm like, it's all bullshit, brother. Let it go.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  Yeah. You started an opioid farm with a, with a Vietnamese woman.

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  I've started a, I've started a fucking compound.

• 32:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:27Stavros Halkias?

  On the Laotian border. In a, not, in an NGO. Yeah, I, you know, I'm enjoying going fucking full native, uh, hair, hair wise.

• 32:37Speaker 04

  Well chicks, I think they dig it because they're like, this guy is cool and confident and doesn't give a fuck.

• 32:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's back to, it is back to, it is, it's definitely novel.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:47Stavros Halkias?

  Where no one, no one lets their hair everywhere. I mean, look, the, the advancements in fucking plugs.

• 32:54Speaker 04

  Unreal.

• 32:54Stavros Halkias?

  Are out of control.

• 32:55Speaker 04

  We have close friends who look flawless.

• 32:57Stavros Halkias?

  Out of control.

• 32:58Speaker 04

  The Mateos, the Soder, I mean, they're, they're open about it.

• 33:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they're open. Everyone, dude, you find out like everyone on TV has hair plugs.

• 33:04Speaker 04

  I know.

• 33:05Stavros Halkias?

  Everyone on TV basically has hair plugs.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  And what's crazy, we have footage of like Kimmel, Seth MacFarlane, Elon Musk, Joel McHale, the list goes on. And we have them in the, you know, 1998's when they're fucking crazy, uh, crazy back.

• 33:18Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally. I don't know. We'll see. You would never, you, you're good. You're, you're fine. You're not going to consider, you're, you're not going to go hit plugs.

• 33:26Speaker 04

  I don't know. I don't know.

• 33:28Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe later in life.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  I would only, I'm only debating it because it's, it ain't cheap.

• 33:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:32Speaker 04

  So I'm waiting for it to come down a little bit, like a, like a flat screen.

• 33:35Stavros Halkias?

  You're such a piece of shit.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  You remember these old, these old, old big screen TVs used to be $10,000, now you get them for like, you know, 500.

• 33:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're right. You're right. That is so funny that you're still, you're still worried about that amount of money. Cause I know it's not cheap, but like, you're fine.

• 33:51Speaker 04

  I, I could be fine, but you know, I got a poor man mentality.

• 33:54Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. That is true. You do, I guess that's important. It is important to stay, you'd rather stay cheap than be somebody who doesn't understand money at all. Which is kind of where I am, where I'm like, because my whole life I never cared about money.

• 34:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, same.

• 34:08Stavros Halkias?

  In either way, like I should have been cheap. I should have known what stuff costs.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:13Stavros Halkias?

  But I never did. And then I just kind of kept going until I didn't have to. I'm basically prime to get Bernie Madoffed. And I, don't try it. Nobody try it. All right. I got a couple of layers of protection.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 34:27Stavros Halkias?

  But I really don't, like I just.

• 34:30Speaker 04

  I'm the same way. I got a bunny guy and that, he saved me.

• 34:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  But like my wife, she was like, let me see your finances. And I was like, oh shit. Okay. What is she going to do? Steal it all? But, uh, I eventually showed her after hours of fighting and she was like.

• 34:44Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, OnlyFans, OnlyFans, OnlyFans, OnlyFans.

• 34:49Stavros Halkias?

  Venmo directly to a 22 year old barista?

• 34:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's the thing. You're too cheap to ever get finnedommed.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  No, no. No way. No way.

• 35:01Stavros Halkias?

  You will never get exploit, extorted. You would, you would go Letterman so fast, dude.

• 35:06Speaker 04

  I would, yeah.

• 35:08Stavros Halkias?

  You would have a public announcement. You'd be like, these whores are trying to get me for my money. I will never allow that to happen.

• 35:16Speaker 04

  Well, that happened to Louis Anderson. Remember that?

• 35:18Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  Oh, man. He was hosting Family Feud. Great gig. And he was gay.

• 35:22Stavros Halkias?

  My dream gig, by the way.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  Great gig.

• 35:24Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to be, to one day host Family Feud.

• 35:27Speaker 04

  My number one game show.

• 35:28Stavros Halkias?

  I'm putting, I'm putting that out there. Someone, look, Steve Harvey's gonna do this job for another 20 years.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  Easy.

• 35:34Stavros Halkias?

  He's built for it. He'll be doing that till he retires.

• 35:37Speaker 04

  He has one move, by the way. Somebody says something stupid and he goes, yeah.

• 35:40Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. I do not, the incred- incredulity is his number one move.

• 35:45Speaker 04

  That's his sister's name.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  But yeah, no, you're right. Okay, so Family Feud.

• 35:51Stavros Halkias?

  I would love, that is my, that is, I would love to be 60 and host Family Feud.

• 35:56Speaker 04

  And you do like, what do they call it? Bump, bulk shooting where you shoot like six in a day? You're done for a month.

• 36:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's my dream, dude. So I'm putting that out in the universe. That's my showbiz sort of like retirement gig.

• 36:07Speaker 04

  That is great. That's a sweet gig. Remember the old one? You could kiss every woman on it. That was big.

• 36:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, dude, the, the one guy just fingering every fucking, every grandma. You look beautiful. And then the guys just have to sit there.

• 36:20Speaker 04

  Right.

• 36:21Stavros Halkias?

  And so smiling as this guy, like that is, by the way, that is how, like, everything in society is degraded. You, you used to, a level of fame, like, being a game show host.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:35Stavros Halkias?

  Allowed you, you could, you had prima nocta over everyone in America.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  Bob Barker had all those whores.

• 36:42Stavros Halkias?

  Level of famous.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:43Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking crazy, dude.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  Crazy.

• 36:46Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Anyway, wait, wait, what, how'd we get here?

• 36:48Stavros Halkias?

  What were we talking about?

• 36:49Speaker 04

  Hold on.

• 36:49Stavros Halkias?

  Louis Anderson.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  Louis Anderson, okay, thank you.

• 36:51Stavros Halkias?

  Cause I'm a big, I love the show. I have the show Louis. Remember that show he did, the, the kid's show?

• 36:57Speaker 04

  The cartoon?

• 36:58Stavros Halkias?

  Cartoon. I fucking loved it.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:00Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, give us, give us, give us your recollection, then Eldis will fact check.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  I don't know everything, but I know he was a closeted gay guy back, it was the nineties.

• 37:07Stavros Halkias?

  Really hard to tell, really hard to tell.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  And eventually played a woman on TV, but yeah.

• 37:13Stavros Halkias?

  And was incredible at it.

• 37:14Speaker 04

  Great. He's so funny.

• 37:16Stavros Halkias?

  That is one of the best. He plays a, he plays Zach Galifianakis's mother in Baskets.

• 37:22Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 37:22Stavros Halkias?

  And he plays a middle aged, an elderly woman. And it fully works.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  It totally worked.

• 37:29Stavros Halkias?

  It doesn't even come off as like a gimmick.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 37:32Stavros Halkias?

  In, in like eight seconds. At first you're like, huh, that's hilarious. Louie Anderson praying for a woman. And then you're like, that's his mom.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Right.

• 37:39Stavros Halkias?

  And then 10 seconds and you're like, whoa, that's his mom.

• 37:41Speaker 04

  It's basically Robert Downey Jr. Black. He is as a woman. Like he just pulled it off perfectly. But yeah, so he was hooking up with this guy. He would like hook up with a guy in Vegas where they shot every, you know, couple of weeks.

• 37:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, they shot in Vegas back then.

• 37:55Speaker 04

  I think so. And they would just hook up in a van. He would blow the guy and then he would, he'd be like, don't tell anybody. Then one day the guy's like, I'm gonna tell the press unless you give me 20 grand or so. And then the guy and Louie's like, all right, all right, all right. And then, you know, a month later is like, you know what? I need like a hundred grand now. And he's like, all right, all right. And then millions of dollars go by and eventually the guy's still told.

• 38:15Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  Something like that.

• 38:16Speaker 06

  That was, that was mostly right. What I'm seeing here is Anderson made several payments to Gordon totaling around a hundred K before eventually going to the FBI where.

• 38:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, Louie went to the.

• 38:27Speaker 04

  Oh, Louie went to the FBI.

• 38:28Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:29Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa. But he was still at a hundred K.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Oh, I was way off.

• 38:32Stavros Halkias?

  It cost him a hundred K to just, to fucking.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  Cause it was just accumulating, I think. Cause they kept hooking up.

• 38:37Speaker 06

  Yeah. The guy was.

• 38:38Stavros Halkias?

  What a piece of shit.

• 38:39Speaker 06

  The guy was arrested in the sting operation and sentenced to 21 months in prison.

• 38:43Stavros Halkias?

  Good for Louie Anderson.

• 38:44Speaker 06

  restitution.

• 38:47Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 38:47Speaker 04

  Wait, wait. Why did the guy get arrested?

• 38:49Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's illegal to fucking bribe someone.

• 38:51Speaker 06

  Blackmailing him.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  But isn't it illegal to pay for sex? Well, I guess he was paying for silence.

• 38:55Speaker 06

  No, no, he wasn't paying. The guy threatened to tell tabloids that Anderson had solicited him for sex years earlier at a casino. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 39:04Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 39:05Speaker 06

  And Louis was afraid that would like damage his rep.

• 39:07Stavros Halkias?

  Poor guy. That sucks, dude.

• 39:09Speaker 04

  That sucks.

• 39:10Stavros Halkias?

  Tim, now look at Tim's life. Now you can be part, now you can openly be a gay villain. Who's, who's, who dresses up as members of the media. Tim, Tim dressed and mocked the woman who runs CBS News. You can now be, that's how gay you can be and not be scared of the media. Whereas Louis Anderson is like, just probably having gentle gay sex in a van and then doing a great job hosting. And now you could just, at least we've made some advancements.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  It's true. It's like Ellen couldn't be gay. She got canceled. And then she was like, okay to be gay. And then she got canceled for being a cunt.

• 39:47Speaker 06

  That's progress.

• 39:48Stavros Halkias?

  Just a piece of shit.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:50Speaker 06

  Here's a little fucked up tidbit about Louis. He also, his sister alleged that he suffered elder abuse on his deathbed. When his fucking agent and manager conspired to change his trust.

• 40:03Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus.

• 40:04Speaker 06

  In his dying moments and make themselves the primary beneficiaries.

• 40:08Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 40:09Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 40:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:10Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, Louis Anderson is the man.

• 40:12Speaker 04

  He's the man.

• 40:13Stavros Halkias?

  That pisses me the fuck off.

• 40:14Speaker 04

  I opened for him a few times.

• 40:15Stavros Halkias?

  Really?

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, cool guy. He was the first fat comic to do the, let me get the mic stand out of the way so you can see me. Which has been done today. He did it first in the eighties.

• 40:25Stavros Halkias?

  And that, yes, respect to him for that. That's a good one.

• 40:29Speaker 04

  Love you, Louis.

• 40:30Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck dude. Yeah, he would have been a dream, he truly would have been a dream guest. Cause I feel like right as I, I try, I, I think I like, there was like something up in the air where I could have opened for him very early and I was, that was the most pumped I was, but I was way too, it was like, would have been a real stretch.

• 40:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:47Stavros Halkias?

  At the time. Cause I feel like by the time I was even, you know, 10, 10 years ago, like when did Louis Anderson die?

• 40:54Speaker 04

  Ooh, I don't know.

• 40:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, really?

• 40:56Speaker 04

  That reason? Wow. Yeah, the coolest part about opening for him, where you're like in awe, he's killing, he's, you know, he's got jokes from decades and decades, but then we'd go to McDonald's after.

• 41:05Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  And then he would order like crazy shit and you're like, it was like, like opening for-

• 41:10Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, my god.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  It was like-

• 41:12Stavros Halkias?

  That was wasted on you.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  I know, I know. I was like, I'll have some nuggets and he's like, get out of the way, son. But it'd be like opening for Pryor and then he's just like, let's do blow all night, you know?

• 41:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if you're not a blow guy, you'll figure it out.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:25Stavros Halkias?

  You'll figure it out. Damn, dude. Yeah, he was the fucking man for sure. I did love Louie. Louis the cartoon was a fucking banger. A lot of fat representation.

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, back then, too.

• 41:37Stavros Halkias?

  He was kind of a cool little fat kid and I was like, yeah, hell yeah, that's me.

• 41:42Speaker 04

  You had Fat Albert and then Louis. There wasn't much for fat kids.

• 41:45Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. Let me think about, and then you had Heavyweight.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  Oh, that was great.

• 41:50Stavros Halkias?

  Great.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  Great movie.

• 41:51Stavros Halkias?

  Great movie.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  You had a couple, pretty like Mighty Ducks had the fat goal. Like you had a couple guys-

• 41:56Stavros Halkias?

  Who, by the way, that guy is not doing good.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  Rosenberg?

• 41:59Stavros Halkias?

  He is. And he was in Heavyweight as well.

• 42:01Speaker 04

  Yes. He was really talented.

• 42:03Stavros Halkias?

  He was great. He was, he honestly, I probably modeled a lot of my like personality as a little fat kid. Cause he was like the cool fat guy.

• 42:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was cool.

• 42:13Stavros Halkias?

  He always had wisecracks. He would do like the, he would raise his eyebrow like, really? And now the guy's, that guy's looking tough.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  I think meth got him.

• 42:21Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, dude, being a child star.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  It fucks everybody.

• 42:25Stavros Halkias?

  There is no way, like that should be illegal. If you try, if you take your child to, every audition should be a sting operation.

• 42:33Speaker 04

  Oh, that's good.

• 42:35Stavros Halkias?

  Every, every single time a parent-

• 42:38Speaker 04

  That's good.

• 42:38Stavros Halkias?

  Takes a child for anything.

• 42:40Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 42:40Stavros Halkias?

  They should go to jail.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 42:43Stavros Halkias?

  They should go to fucking jail.

• 42:44Speaker 04

  I love, it's weird. You're like, you, it's like a cattle call where you bring your kid like hoping that he gets discovered and you get rich.

• 42:51Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  It's so weird. You're using the kid.

• 42:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  It's same with pageant cunts. These pageant moms-

• 42:56Stavros Halkias?

  Pageant's even worse.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 42:58Stavros Halkias?

  Pageant's even fucking worse, dude.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I watch every one of them.

• 43:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta fucking feed, you gotta feed a security cam footage-

• 43:07Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 43:07Stavros Halkias?

  From every Hilton Garden Inn ballroom.

• 43:09Speaker 04

  Like, she's got potential. Yeah. I like her. I've got like a fantasy football league going with spreadsheets. I like the Virginia chick.

• 43:19Stavros Halkias?

  I think, I think what you're describing is just how you got to Epstein's Island. I mean, that's the other, other thing is like everyone, acting for sure, but pageants are straight up feeder systems for pedophiles.

• 43:31Speaker 04

  Easily.

• 43:32Stavros Halkias?

  There's no way that, the fact that that exists, I mean, that is despicable, dude.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  Pedophiles must love it because they can go to the audience. It's just like, it's like a show. It's like a, you know, you get a free strip tease.

• 43:44Stavros Halkias?

  It's like going to a fucking fashion show.

• 43:46Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 43:47Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, what's coming up this season?

• 43:48Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 43:49Stavros Halkias?

  Who are the children to groom this season?

• 43:51Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 43:53Stavros Halkias?

  So, I mean, the pedophilic shit that goes on around, like, they don't have that in other countries, do they, Aldous?

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Do they have like, are there European beauty pageants? Uh, this, this is where I'd love to blame America for something, but there probably is. Unfortunately, they probably exist other places.

• 44:07Speaker 04

  I'd say so, yeah, yeah.

• 44:09Stavros Halkias?

  But we have a very like, there's something about that like southern churchy.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 44:14Stavros Halkias?

  Type of, you know what I mean? There's just something so fucked about it.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:19Stavros Halkias?

  But, you know, whatever.

• 44:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, now it's just a bunch of Florida teachers is keep fucking students. Every, every time I open Twitter, it's just like a new teacher and they're all kind of like, kind of hot.

• 44:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 44:32Speaker 04

  It's so strange.

• 44:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, something's in the, something's in the air down there in Florida.

• 44:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh yeah.

• 44:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you'll know, yeah. Anyway, you're not, you're preparing your son for his first pageant soon, I'm guessing?

• 44:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, hell yeah. Well, what's the boy version of that? I got a little boy. I guess it's like altar boy.

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  Is the boy version. Yeah.

• 44:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh yeah, has, so what, it's because the other thing is that your, your kid was born like a couple of days with my nephew. So I always think about, when I track my nephew's development, I think about your son because I'm like, oh, what's this little fucker up to?

• 45:07Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 45:07Stavros Halkias?

  Because they're, they're basically the same age.

• 45:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, 17th.

• 45:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, yeah, uh, uh, MLK weekend.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  And Trump's inauguration. Yeah, so everybody's like the saddest day ever and I was like, this is a great day. I'm like fist pumping in the street. Hey, best day ever.

• 45:26Stavros Halkias?

  We always knew it about Mark. He finally comes forward and shows who he's been the whole time.

• 45:34Speaker 04

  Gugu Maga.

• 45:38Stavros Halkias?

  You named your son forty seven?

• 45:42Stavros Halkias?

  Forty seven Norman?

• 45:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, and that cuz you know.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  My wife's barren? Okay, okay.

• 45:55Stavros Halkias?

  Donald Trump Junior Norman.

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Speaking of coke, that guy loves the yam yam. Every time I see that guy on TV, he's like.

• 46:06Speaker 04

  He's.

• 46:07Stavros Halkias?

  I know dude, it's so fucking annoying that just objectively, some of the worst people of all time won the decade. Like DJT Junior just gets to be on cocaine on TV.

• 46:19Speaker 04

  All day long.

• 46:20Stavros Halkias?

  Listen to what that fucking idiot has to say. He's the most classic example of a fail son I can possibly imagine. He's accomplished almost nothing without, and then plus the like, how has gotta fuck you up psychologically for that to be your dad? Like that story about.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 46:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that story about, I don't know, look up if this is apocryphal or not, where he's gonna take him to a Yankee game and he's like in a, in a jersey and Trump slaps his son in front of his friends for not wearing a suit.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  No.

• 46:49Stavros Halkias?

  Look up, is that real, eldest? Or was that, did I get got by some MSNBC AI shit?

• 46:56Speaker 04

  That's crazy. But then you got Hunter Biden as well. He got the two sides of the coin there with the coke bud, coke folk.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Who do you really wanna do coke with?

• 47:03Speaker 04

  Oh, you gotta go Hunter.

• 47:04Stavros Halkias?

  Hunter in a, in a, in a, by a mile.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  I remember those videos of him with hookers and doing crack in a town. I'm like, why would he film this? And I realized, oh, he's on crack.

• 47:13Stavros Halkias?

  He's on crack.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  Why would you film this?

• 47:17Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, he's the, he really, I mean, now you're like, not like, now every fucking, like every, there's like a story where it's like, oh yeah, Baron Trump just made forty million dollars on crypto. Shh. It's like, give me the old fashioned corruption where it's like, the son is getting his dick sucked by sex workers.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:35Stavros Halkias?

  He's on crack. That's a fun presidential scandal.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  I know. And he just, he did an interview with Callahan. Did you watch that?

• 47:41Stavros Halkias?

  I wa, it was, he comes off so incredible and like a very smart guy. And it's like, and then I'm like, of course, like, why would I judge this guy? This is what I'm like. I would do, I would do drugs with fucking a couple prostitutes for a week. That sounds awesome.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Sure, probably some of our money.

• 48:03Speaker 04

  But you're like, this guy can talk. And then you realize, well, yeah, he's a cokehead. They can fucking talk about anything. Talk about fucking Donkey Kong.

• 48:09Stavros Halkias?

  He comes away and he comes interested.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  I watched the whole thing.

• 48:12Stavros Halkias?

  I was shocked at how, because I put him in the same kind of bracket as like, oh, just some political fail son. And he's, and then when you think about like, that family got so fucked up by the like, good son getting fucking brain cancer out of nowhere. And then you think about like, damn, these people fucking grow up under such a fucked up microscope.

• 48:32Speaker 04

  Totally, totally.

• 48:33Stavros Halkias?

  Being the kid of a politician.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  I mean, it's like child star times 10.

• 48:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Like, yeah, I mean, it can go, it can go that fucking, I mean, anyone, anyone who's parent is a politician. If you want to be president, you, another person should be in jail. Everyone that wants to be president is a sociopath.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 48:52Stavros Halkias?

  Thinking you deserve that much power. I can't even imagine being raised by that, even if he's like a good, the funny thing is, the only time Biden seemed like a reasonable human being and not completely senile is when you would see their leaked exchanges between him and Hunter.

• 49:07Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:08Stavros Halkias?

  And you'd be like, son, I love you so much.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:10Stavros Halkias?

  We're gonna get through this. And you're like, damn, he's capable of being fucking cogent. At least a good father.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:16Stavros Halkias?

  He shouldn't have been running the country.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Right.

• 49:18Stavros Halkias?

  But he could at least give his crack heads, yeah, former crack addicted son, some solace.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  Right. Well, that's why Barron is so, because he doesn't seem to have a vice. So he almost seems scarier. He's got like a Darth Vader thing where he's just like, duh, duh, duh. He's like eyes on the prize.

• 49:36Stavros Halkias?

  He's like nine feet tall.

• 49:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's dark, he's gloomy.

• 49:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there's, there's a, yeah, there, you know, like the weird, like the type of fucking guy who's throating Trump right now and pretending it's cool to be a pedophile. You know, they've got some like designs for Barron being president.

• 49:52Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Something's in the works.

• 49:54Stavros Halkias?

  You know, like when, like there was that AI, early AI of like Trump with a beard and a shaved head. See that all these guys that just make Trump seem like hot. They weirdly wanna fuck him. They they like he's like their daddy that they respect psycho sexually.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:09Stavros Halkias?

  You know, they want Trump. You know, they want Baron to be like our seven foot tall president.

• 50:15Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:15Stavros Halkias?

  Who like gets every every ethnic minority out of the country. Like they have visions of Baron Trump on like white armor. On like a fucking horse.

• 50:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:25Stavros Halkias?

  Galloping and shit like that.

• 50:27Speaker 04

  Isn't it weird that he goes to NYU? That is. Walking that camp like he's walking through Washington Square Park right now. It's crazy.

• 50:33Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, dude.

• 50:34Speaker 04

  I wonder if he's getting laid.

• 50:35Stavros Halkias?

  He's gotta be.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  He's gotta be.

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  He's six eleven.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 50:39Stavros Halkias?

  He's rich. He's getting pussy.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:41Stavros Halkias?

  There's no way you're not.

• 50:43Speaker 04

  But he doesn't seem like he wants it. You know, that's what I want in a young presidential son as the Hunter Biden. I want Hunter.

• 50:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh, dude, if you if if Baron gets busted doing fucking ketamine with fucking strippers.

• 50:56Speaker 04

  I like him more.

• 50:57Stavros Halkias?

  All right, I'm listening. You got you've caught my attention.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  Yes, it's like when Mulaney did blow. You're like, all right.

• 51:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 51:04Speaker 04

  I like you. I like you way more now.

• 51:07Stavros Halkias?

  We yeah, I became friends with Mulaney fully post. Fully post him on cocaine.

• 51:12Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 51:12Stavros Halkias?

  And it was a moment where you're like, yes.

• 51:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:15Stavros Halkias?

  He is one of us.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're fucked up too.

• 51:18Stavros Halkias?

  Clearly is one of it made it made Mulaney snap into picture into like.

• 51:22Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 51:23Stavros Halkias?

  You're like before you're like, is he just like a comedy robot? And you're like, no, he's a fucking ass. He's been fucking. He's yipped out of his mind.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  I know.

• 51:31Stavros Halkias?

  And he loves comedy so much. He fucking does. He writes like jokes on cocaine.

• 51:35Speaker 04

  Oh, that's what it's all about.

• 51:37Stavros Halkias?

  It's crazy, dude.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, cuz before he was so polished. He was always a great comic, but he was he just seemed like a like a relative that went to Yale that you're like, oh, you don't wanna talk to me.

• 51:48Stavros Halkias?

  It definitely humanized him as a just not cuz the one thing I do love about stand up is that it does. There are people that if you took us doing comedy out of the equation, we would have almost nothing in common.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 52:04Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Like I do. I do like that as as like kind of embarrassing as it sounds, it is an identity in a way.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 52:11Stavros Halkias?

  Where I'm like, I. Do get along with people that outside of this, I wouldn't have any, any and get along with them and form real connections.

• 52:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:19Stavros Halkias?

  In a way where it's like, what did I, what would I really have in common with somebody who like, you know, like he went to fucking Georgetown?

• 52:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly, exactly.

• 52:27Stavros Halkias?

  Like, like just, but because he was so good at comedy, I, it almost took me a while to realize like, oh, he's like a fucking, you know, like a rich kid from the

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:36Stavros Halkias?

  Chicago burbs who went to Georgetown, whatever. And then when you throw the drug use in there.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  Yes, one of us.

• 52:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, one of us, one of the Wolf of Wall Street, one of us, one of, with DeRosa's in the background.

• 52:51Stavros Halkias?

  I loved when DeRosa was just like his main credit.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:54Stavros Halkias?

  He's like, he, DeRosa's one of the most hilarious careers of all time.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  I know, I know.

• 52:59Stavros Halkias?

  He's like in, in Wolf of Wall Street for one second, but he gets to be there. Oh, he's literally is.

• 53:04Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 53:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he's one, he's in, he's a traitor.

• 53:06Speaker 04

  What?

• 53:07Stavros Halkias?

  In, um, whatever Strathmore, whatever the fuck.

• 53:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, that fits. I mean, he's, he lives like those guys.

• 53:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, no, it made sense. I mean, yeah, the, the, in the Breaking Bad universe.

• 53:17Speaker 04

  Oh, that's right, that's right. Now, do you feel, uh, on the movie sets, do you feel a little like, oh, these guys are like thesbians? And I'm a fucking, you know, nightclub comic.

• 53:27Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I mean, dude, on Begonia, it's Jesse, it's Jesse Plemons and Emma Stone.

• 53:32Speaker 04

  That's the, it's the top.

• 53:34Stavros Halkias?

  The best actors alive, maybe. I think the best actors of their generation. I'm obviously a little biased, but even before I worked with them, I re, like, I felt that Stone and Plemons, it's like, I really do think as pure actors.

• 53:47Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:48Stavros Halkias?

  Nobody is better than them. So that was like fucking insane.

• 53:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I would have been like Leo in the trailer of Once Upon a Time where you're like, come on, man. You gotta get your shit together. You gotta stop eating Ben and Jerry's every night. You gotta get your act together.

• 54:02Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, not even kidding. There was a day where I got so lucky that my big, one of my big scenes, the night before, for some reason, I just went to fu, I went, I took the train into London, friend of the show Caleb here, you know Caleb?

• 54:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:18Stavros Halkias?

  Very funny, very funny. We got fucked up on Indian food.

• 54:22Stavros Halkias?

  And then even without him, I'm eating little treats. I'm, you know, I'm in a, I'm in a foreign land. I gotta try all their treats and shit.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  That's their thing there too, is the Indian food.

• 54:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh dude, so good. And I get, I just overeat and I have a horrific headache. And they're like, hey, we had to change the, we had to change the schedule. Sorry. You're not shooting for like, you know, a couple of days.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Oh, great.

• 54:41Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like, I almost fucked up.

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 54:44Stavros Halkias?

  Like my big, like, it was nerves. It was nerves. Like, it was truly nervous eating in a way where.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  Stress eating.

• 54:50Stavros Halkias?

  But still, I was like, you're a fucking idiot.

• 54:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:54Stavros Halkias?

  You almost had so much fucking like biryani that you had a sodium headache and would have been bad on set.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:01Stavros Halkias?

  That, that whole thing was so surreal that I just, that, the whole thing felt like a dream.

• 55:06Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 55:07Stavros Halkias?

  Like it never felt real.

• 55:08Speaker 04

  I mean, this is Oscar, I think best picture nom here.

• 55:12Stavros Halkias?

  We got nominated and, you know, Stone has won two fucking Oscars. Plemons has been nominated. He should have, I think he should have won this year. He's the fucking man.

• 55:20Speaker 04

  He's great.

• 55:20Stavros Halkias?

  But on that, on that set for sure, it was fucking crazy. And then, you know, then you go to tires and it's like someone who Shane met at a gas station. Has the fu, has like a major B plot of the season. You're like, I'm okay here. I, I, I'm feeling pretty good on the tire set.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:41Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, but you know, it just, it just kind of, the other thing you kind of realize is that like, you know,

• 55:47Stavros Halkias?

  it was a crazy moment to just be like, these are just dudes.

• 55:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:51Stavros Halkias?

  They're just fucking, and I, I guess I got lucky because they're both just actually cool people. But also you see people who've been on TV and you see them or in films and you see them as like larger than life. And then you're like, these are also 36 year olds. We have all the same, like we grew up at the same time. Like,

• 56:09Speaker 04

  Right.

• 56:09Stavros Halkias?

  It's like, it kind of demystifies them. And I do think in a weird way, stand up is such bullshit. And so like tough in ways that it's like, you're embarrassed so much, you bomb so much. Even your friends will roast you to fucking smithereens.

• 56:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:24Stavros Halkias?

  That when you're just on a place where people have to be professional. You, it's easy. You're like, no, no one's gonna come after me.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:32Stavros Halkias?

  My co-stars are not gonna call me a big fat piece of shit.

• 56:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're not gonna get heckled by the crew.

• 56:36Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually fucking, I, I have a great time, uh, doing that shit. So we'll see. Until, until that fucking, until I have to open that Greek restaurant. We'll see, we'll see how it goes.

• 56:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:49Stavros Halkias?

  But, you know.

• 56:50Speaker 04

  Man, yeah, you're on a roll.

• 56:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's crazy. I don't fucking understand. I never, I, I was like, oh, hopefully I get to be in some stuff, but we'll see how it goes.

• 57:00Speaker 04

  You're cooking and work begets work. So then somebody sees you in something else. Do you think the cult movie was the, was, did that help?

• 57:06Stavros Halkias?

  I think it helped in that, uh, no, but like, the whole reason I made it, cause I was like, I was like, I think I can act and no one is ever gonna cast me in anything.

• 57:15Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 57:16Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, I think very quickly after that though, I got, I mean, tires and begonia. I got, like, I got tires. Right after the cult movie and they just, that was just cause I'm friends with Shane.

• 57:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:28Stavros Halkias?

  And I think those would have, I think what the cult movie has been helpful for is now I, it, it, I thought it was gonna be a launch. I don't think it really did much.

• 57:37Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 57:38Stavros Halkias?

  In terms of getting me more work, but now the fact that I made it, I think proves to people that like, oh, he's written something. He's written, executive produced and starred in something. So now it's like, now they've seen, hope, this is the hope anyway.

• 57:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:51Stavros Halkias?

  That they see me in this other shit and I do okay. And they're like, oh, we can trust him a little more than a random guy. He's already made his own movie. At a time when nobody makes movies.

• 58:02Speaker 04

  That's true.

• 58:02Stavros Halkias?

  So, you know, whatever. We'll see. I got some ideas, but I also just, dude, I'm craving not doing shit.

• 58:08Speaker 04

  I know.

• 58:08Stavros Halkias?

  I'm craving not doing shit.

• 58:10Speaker 04

  Again, with the poor mentality, I have that like relevance mentality. Like, oh God, like Ari just took eight months off. Nobody noticed. Now he's back. We're miserable. We hate to see him. He looks like an Ayatollah now. He's the gay one.

• 58:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 58:26Speaker 04

  But, uh, yeah, he's back and he's like coming out of the gate hot with his fucking, uh, TV show. What is it? The storytelling show. It's like, that's gonna be huge. Shane's in it. Nate's in it.

• 58:36Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 58:37Speaker 04

  All these, you know, Miss Pat and Ali Sadiq. It's gonna be big. So then, you know, you're like, oh, Ari's back. Okay, there you go. But I, I get worried. Like if I'm gone a week, my wife's like, let's go on a fucking vacation, you psycho. And I'm like, I don't want to. I gotta do this, uh, Upper West Side New York Comedy Club spot, or those cities gonna forget about me.

• 58:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Well, it goes with your class. I think your biggest issue. And it's mine too. It's a lot of people's, but you have the, you have like a class, like a bit that I'm jealous of because it was like, it's basically just your headphones. The headphones like you can't, you were the fir-, you, you got, you had a great take. I think that's a really great joke is that everyone, when you hear a great joke, you're like, I felt like that for the last six months and I've never been able to put that together. But it's like, yeah, just your, just, just saying like thought, your thoughts are not good. It's like, I, I feel like every, I think we all lived through, I think when AirPods first came out. Everyone was, just didn't have a thought in their head for five years.

• 59:38Speaker 04

  That's so true. Yes.

• 59:39Stavros Halkias?

  I really think that. And I do think what you're describing is staying in the anxiety of it ma- means you never have to reflect. You know, cause you're constantly in the rat race.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 59:51Stavros Halkias?

  So you're just like, it's survival, survival, survival. If you fucking took two weeks off, you'd have to think about yourself. It would have to be your thoughts on an even larger level.

• 1:00:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:01Stavros Halkias?

  And I think that's your.

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  Is that what it is?

• 1:00:03Stavros Halkias?

  I think that's your big thing to, I think that's your big thing to conquer.

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:00:07Stavros Halkias?

  It's a little, I think you're, you know, and I get it cause I, I'm the same way where it's scary to sit down and like honestly self-reflect.

• 1:00:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:16Stavros Halkias?

  As opposed to just keep doing it. Cause I'm, dude, I've been talking about taking a break for four years.

• 1:00:21Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:00:22Stavros Halkias?

  And every time we talk, it's like, oh, I gotta finish this first and then the break's coming.

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  I've never thought about the reflect. To me, it's more of like, you know, you're gonna be rusty. You're not gonna know how to do stand up anymore. You're, you're gonna lose your, your house, you know?

• 1:00:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's over, that ended, I think the pandemic ended all those thoughts, for me anyway. Cause I was the same way over on a technical standpoint.

• 1:00:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:40Stavros Halkias?

  And then you can't do stand up just cause it doesn't exist. And I felt like I wasn't that bad when I came back.

• 1:00:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. It took like two sets.

• 1:00:48Stavros Halkias?

  Two sets and you're fine.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:00:50Stavros Halkias?

  A week tops and you are better rested, whatever. But I don't know. Who's to tell you? That's my hunch. I feel like everyone could, uh, everyone who's in that mentality could just use a little time off and you'd have to just face. The stuff you've been running from.

• 1:01:06Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 1:01:07Stavros Halkias?

  Being real with yourself.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  That's funny, because every vacation I went to, we went to Miami for New Year's. That was like a little vacation and I drank from sun up to sundown for like nine days or seven days and threw some mushrooms in there and whatever.

• 1:01:23Stavros Halkias?

  Oh dude.

• 1:01:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was, it was wild. I was a kid.

• 1:01:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  I'm in the pool with a kid, drunk, you know, holding him, no floaties.

• 1:01:30Stavros Halkias?

  You're using him as a floatie.

• 1:01:32Speaker 04

  He's saving me.

• 1:01:36Stavros Halkias?

  I, I do think self-reflection is scary. And look, I'm just, it's a little projection here, but I think a lot of my friends that I see similar traits in, I think we all need to actually be like, what am I, what is my life like, what have I done? What's good about it? What would I like to change? And again, this is mostly projection because I'm in a state right now where I'm like, I need to actually think about what I want.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 1:01:58Stavros Halkias?

  Because the worst thing is you do the math and you're like, wait, is my career directly detrimental to my happiness? And unfortunately, I hate to admit, every time I'm, I've been running the, the equations a lot.

• 1:02:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:11Stavros Halkias?

  I've been running the numbers and the answer really is do not work as much.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

  Ah, I know.

• 1:02:17Stavros Halkias?

  And there's just, and I still am trying to be like, no, I can make it, I can figure, I can keep doing it, but I just, anyway, whatever.

• 1:02:23Speaker 04

  And every man on the street I see, it's like, here's a, me with 20, 85 year old guys, they all say, don't work as much. I wish it hadn't worked as much. I wish I saw my family more. I wish I slowed down. I wish, and you're like, oh God, maybe they're on to something. Every one of them says that.

• 1:02:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yes, then you have not, not one single one.

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  No, yeah.

• 1:02:40Stavros Halkias?

  There's not even the one guy who's like, I loved it. It was, I, you know what? I missed some stuff, but the, the energy of it was, nobody, nobody thinks that.

• 1:02:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. You know what, another great, you know, the joke you said about the headphones where you're like, oh, I've thought that.

• 1:02:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  Goldman has that great joke where about depression and he goes, you know, the thing about life is, is it's every day. That is such a great line that we've all had that like, ah, another day, here we go.

• 1:03:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:06Speaker 04

  So good.

• 1:03:07Stavros Halkias?

  Patrice, a similar idea where it's like you can't call out of being in love. It was like, it's like when you're, yeah, it's kind of a similar idea to the every day thing.

• 1:03:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:16Stavros Halkias?

  It's funny to like, to Patrice, love with a woman is depressing. Like, like actually loving a woman is like, can I get a break from loving my wi, you know, it wasn't even his wife, but.

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:28Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, dude, that whole, the Goldman. Depression stuff is unbelievable.

• 1:03:33Speaker 04

  Great, yeah, he's a beast.

• 1:03:34Stavros Halkias?

  Um, alright, well, listen, we've, uh, it's time for us to take some, you know, we can talk about ourselves, but really, we need to take, we need to help the people. We're, in some ways, me and you are beyond fixing.

• 1:03:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46Stavros Halkias?

  Let's fuck it, let's focus on this next generation.

• 1:03:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're like that car that gets in a wreck and the door never closes, right? That's us. You can do everything, but we're still gonna be fucking dented.

• 1:03:59Speaker 05

  In business, there's the easy way with Staples or the hard way. Hard means-

• 1:04:03Stavros Halkias?

  New office opening, Kevin? Find a cleaning supplies vendor. Frank? We need furniture. Susan? Get someone to deliver coffee. Move, move, move.

• 1:04:11Speaker 05

  Easy means one vendor for all your workplace needs. Hard means-

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  Okay, your break room delivery is confirmed- Great. For Sunday, 5 a.m. Great.

• 1:04:20Speaker 05

  Easy means next day delivery, when and where you need it. Don't choose hard, choose Staples. That was easy. Visit staples.com to learn more about our business solutions. Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 1:04:55Speaker 06

  Hello, Stavi, Elvis, esteemed guests or guests. Uh, long time, first time, you know the fucking deal.

• 1:05:03Stavros Halkias?

  Thanks, man.

• 1:05:04Speaker 06

  So basically, um, I'm a student teacher. Right now, I'm currently teaching in a middle school. And, uh, there's a student of mine who really wants me to get with her sister.

• 1:05:17Stavros Halkias?

  What?

• 1:05:18Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:05:19Speaker 06

  I'm not gonna lie, she's pretty hot. The sister, not the student. Uh, for reference-

• 1:05:25Stavros Halkias?

  Your student? Wants her to fuck her sister? And you're thinking about it, you fucking idiot? Finish up, but this is crazy.

• 1:05:33Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 1:05:34Speaker 06

  The sister's like 25. I'm gonna be 28 in a few months. Uh, the sister's already like-

• 1:05:42Stavros Halkias?

  Like a um, a nurse have their license and shit, have a house apparently. Why is this? And I'm gonna be graduating with both my masters and bachelors. And I was just curious to know, how could I let my student know that I'm down to date her sister? But how can I do it in a way that doesn't come off as like creepy or desperate? What?

• 1:06:10Speaker 04

  Wait a minute.

• 1:06:11Stavros Halkias?

  That thing. This guy's out of his fucking mind.

• 1:06:13Speaker 04

  I don't think this is so bad. Wait a minute, wait.

• 1:06:15Stavros Halkias?

  Hold on, hold on.

• 1:06:16Speaker 04

  The sister is 25.

• 1:06:18Stavros Halkias?

  Does the sister even know he fucking exists?

• 1:06:21Speaker 04

  That's a good question.

• 1:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  He's saying, a child who he's teaching.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:06:26Stavros Halkias?

  Wants to set him up with her sister.

• 1:06:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:06:28Stavros Halkias?

  And he's like, nice.

• 1:06:30Speaker 04

  Well, she's 25.

• 1:06:32Stavros Halkias?

  It's a fucking kid.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  Seven, seven year old, sixth grader.

• 1:06:35Speaker 06

  And he's 28.

• 1:06:36Stavros Halkias?

  Huh?

• 1:06:36Speaker 06

  And he's 28.

• 1:06:37Speaker 04

  He's 28, she's 25.

• 1:06:38Stavros Halkias?

  Look, look, I'm not saying that if this guy met this sister.

• 1:06:42Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:06:42Stavros Halkias?

  And they hit it off and he asked her respectfully to go out, that it's very, that that's weird. It's not weird for this guy to happen to be dating.

• 1:06:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:52Stavros Halkias?

  One of his students' older sis, uh, one of his students' family members, right?

• 1:06:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's not weird. Teacher in the community, fine. What's weird is having a child you teach set you up. That's to me, he doesn't even know, this is a fucking 12 year old.

• 1:07:09Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:07:10Stavros Halkias?

  Did she, how does, she said to her sister, I wanna, cause this other thing is like, it's a weird thing where maybe this kid is trying to process her crush.

• 1:07:18Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:07:19Stavros Halkias?

  On an adult, by setting her up, or just like by setting it.

• 1:07:22Speaker 04

  Oh, I see.

• 1:07:23Stavros Halkias?

  Look, we've been in middle school and we've all had a, a teacher we've loved, right?

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, sure.

• 1:07:27Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes that's just an innocent whatever, but sometimes, and look, it's innocent for kids to have crushes, whatever.

• 1:07:33Speaker 04

  I had that and I was homeschooled.

• 1:07:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:38Stavros Halkias?

  It's, whatever, but I just think having a child who you teach.

• 1:07:44Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:07:45Stavros Halkias?

  During your trial period of teaching.

• 1:07:48Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:07:48Stavros Halkias?

  Set you up, and it's not even like during a parent teacher conference or during a conference. He sees the, the sister, they have a cute little moment.

• 1:07:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:07:59Stavros Halkias?

  She's like, you're doing such a great job with my sis, you're doing such a great job with my sister.

• 1:08:03Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 1:08:04Stavros Halkias?

  And, you know, I hope to see you at the fucking spring fair or whatever.

• 1:08:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:08Stavros Halkias?

  Right? We don't, this woman might not even know this guy exists.

• 1:08:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Stavros Halkias?

  A child, a child wants two adults to fuck.

• 1:08:16Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:08:16Stavros Halkias?

  And, and he's think, that's, to me, this is the odd part.

• 1:08:20Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:08:21Stavros Halkias?

  Not, not that he might date, uh, students, you know, a student sibling, whatever. That's, I'm not saying that's weird. I'm just saying, cause yes, now let's figure this out. Let's say we try, we're trying to get him laid from this 25 year old, you know, sibling.

• 1:08:37Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:08:39Stavros Halkias?

  How does he go about it?

• 1:08:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think you gotta wait, cause he's a student teacher, so he'll never see this kid again.

• 1:08:45Stavros Halkias?

  Probably not.

• 1:08:45Speaker 04

  Once the year is over. I think you should wait till the year's over, or the semester's over, then I think it's a little more appropriate.

• 1:08:51Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, but then what? You fucking take this kid's fucking, you steal this kid's address from the school, uh, you're like,

• 1:08:59Speaker 06

  Have a great summer. What's your sister's Instagram?

• 1:09:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, there you go. I'm not, this could be a small town, you know, the people be,

• 1:09:07Speaker 06

  That's what I'm, that's what I'm thinking, like, just thinking of, if it's like a small town kinda thing, I can kinda see this vibe a little more.

• 1:09:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:14Stavros Halkias?

  You cannot be a teacher who gets their 12 year old student to set you up with someone.

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  I think if he was gunning for like, damn, this student's got a hot sister, let me work this out. But the student is coming to him, going, my sister's single, you guys would be perfect together. I don't know, I think this is kinda, kinda good.

• 1:09:33Stavros Halkias?

  But then what does he do? Say, okay, give me your sister's number? Does he say that to a student?

• 1:09:38Speaker 04

  I think the girl, the student has to go back to her sister and go, hey, he's interested. Where do you wanna go with this?

• 1:09:46Stavros Halkias?

  Isn't it a little odd that a child is your go-between here?

• 1:09:49Speaker 04

  It's a little odd.

• 1:09:50Stavros Halkias?

  All I'm saying, here's what I'm saying.

• 1:09:52Speaker 04

  He's not fucking the student.

• 1:09:53Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no.

• 1:09:54Speaker 04

  So we're okay there.

• 1:09:55Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, look, look, he is not a criminal.

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Stavros Halkias?

  This is a wholesome call, and I'm not accusing him of anything. I'm just saying, The only way this happens is if there's a legitimate, is there some school event? Is there a graduation? Is there something where? Cause we don't even know who this fucking, again, we don't know if this girl even knows that he exists. Or if this is just a fantasy that his 11 year old uh, student has, right? So the only, the only way this happens is if like, or if you're truly blessed and this is a small town, you're out at Chili's one day with the fellas. She's at Chili's with her family and you could be like, oh, this is Mr.

• 1:10:39Stavros Halkias?

  That, if you have a weird, one of those weird seeing this teacher in the supermarket moments?

• 1:10:44Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:10:44Stavros Halkias?

  And you happen to be with your sister? Okay, but to me, even though you're not, I'm not accusing you of anything untoward here. I'm just saying it's too weird to push the envelope in any way. This is something you have to see if it happens. And if it happens, great. And no one's saying you're weird, but to just be like, hey, can I get your address? Can I get your sister's number? Like, imagine if a fucking principal just overhears, hey, what's going on? Can I get your sister's number or what?

• 1:11:16Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, that's a good point. When you put it like that.

• 1:11:19Stavros Halkias?

  If so, if a different parent.

• 1:11:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:21Stavros Halkias?

  And by the way, he's student teaching, right?

• 1:11:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. What does that mean? I don't even know what that means.

• 1:11:26Stavros Halkias?

  He's not a, he's, he's, it's, he's ending his masters or whatever.

• 1:11:29Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 1:11:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's part of your training to become a teacher.

• 1:11:32Speaker 04

  Got it.

• 1:11:32Stavros Halkias?

  To student teach for six months or whatever.

• 1:11:34Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:11:36Stavros Halkias?

  So what if this ruins his fucking? What if this gets back that he was trying to fuck his student siblings? And again, that's not being a pedophile, but it is like a strange, that, we will all admit, that is a weird relationship to have with an 11 year old.

• 1:11:50Speaker 04

  It's the weirdest dating app of all time.

• 1:11:52Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you. Yes, yes. There's no dating app that's like, have our underage siblings set us up.

• 1:11:57Speaker 04

  Right, right.

• 1:11:58Stavros Halkias?

  So anyway, that's, that's my take on this. You cannot push the envelope. You have to sort of let the, it's kind of like when someone asks, can I get back together with my ex? It's like, look, if you fully break up, you fully lead different lives. You're no- You go no contact and then you happen to come into each other's lives again and hit it off as different, almost essentially different versions of yourselves.

• 1:12:19Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:12:20Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe, but when you try and keep getting back together with someone, it's never gonna work.

• 1:12:25Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 1:12:26Stavros Halkias?

  And to me, this is one of those like, you gotta set it free. There's just a girl that sounds cool that you might be able to fuck. Either it happens or it doesn't, but you cannot push the envelope as a student teacher, in my opinion. That's all I'm saying.

• 1:12:41Speaker 04

  Where do I say, let it ride, buddy. Get that number. I mean, like, I've watched enough incest porn where I'm like, this is wholesome.

• 1:12:48Speaker 04

  This is nothing.

• 1:12:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean, compared to student teacher impropriety, compared to what a 28 year old man and a 12 year old uh, girl could have as an inappropriate relationship. This is nothing.

• 1:13:00Speaker 04

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:13:01Stavros Halkias?

  But it still is technically an inappropriate.

• 1:13:04Speaker 04

  Well, you're right, but I think it's about how you play it. You go up and go, hey, you wanna, can I get your sister's number in the hallway? You know, the guidance council hears that, you're going to jail or whatever.

• 1:13:12Stavros Halkias?

  You corner her, you say, I have a gun. Something bad is gonna happen unless you give me your sister's number.

• 1:13:18Speaker 06

  I do, I do wonder if there's a small element here. It's like, is this, is this teenage girl just fucking with you too?

• 1:13:24Stavros Halkias?

  Very possible.

• 1:13:25Speaker 06

  Like, you know, the girls are giggling, ooh, you should date my sister and like, you know.

• 1:13:31Stavros Halkias?

  Here's her number and they're just fucking, fucking with you?

• 1:13:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:13:34Stavros Halkias?

  They're just, does she even have a sister?

• 1:13:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:13:37Stavros Halkias?

  Is she trying to get you to send her nudes so that she can accuse you of being, not that this child is, I'm not trying to make this child out to be a mastermind, but that's possible that, I mean, look.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  He said the sister was hot, so maybe she concocted a photo. She just took a picture out of a magazine or something.

• 1:13:53Stavros Halkias?

  Whatever. Look, this could, this could be a very wholesome thing that unfortunately our world has ruined.

• 1:14:00Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:14:00Stavros Halkias?

  Right? It's again, not to keep quoting different, uh, great bits, but Bill Burr's joke about how pedophiles have ruined like going up to a fat kid and rubbing him and giving him a nookie or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get out there, fat boy or whatever.

• 1:14:13Speaker 04

  Kids, I'm like, get that fucking thing away from me.

• 1:14:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, cause yes, uh, this is like almost some like 1950s. The school teacher, the school teacher, oh, I, I, I met your older sister at the sock hop and we hit it off, right?

• 1:14:27Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:14:28Stavros Halkias?

  But we don't live in that world anymore.

• 1:14:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess not.

• 1:14:30Stavros Halkias?

  That's gone, unfortunately. Thanks to Florida. Thanks, thanks to the teachers in Florida, that's gone.

• 1:14:35Speaker 04

  Thanks a lot, whores.

• 1:14:38Speaker 04

  You ruined everything.

• 1:14:39Stavros Halkias?

  So yeah, man, good luck energetically. Maybe put it out there that you want this, you know, vision boards is about as it's about as active as you can get. Manifestation is about as active as you can get, in my opinion.

• 1:14:52Speaker 04

  Wait till the semester ends.

• 1:14:53Stavros Halkias?

  Mark thinks you should fucking ask for the number.

• 1:14:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, I say fuck the sister and the mom. Have a good time.

• 1:14:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. And then set a timer on your watch for when she turns 18.

• 1:15:04Stavros Halkias?

  All right, LD, what else we got, little buddy?

• 1:15:07Speaker 07

  Yo, Dob, Elvis, esteemed guest, longtime listener, first time caller. I've got a bit of a doozy. It's a longer one, so hang with me. I've been in business with two childhood best friends for the last five years, roughly.

• 1:15:27Speaker 07

  We opened a company together after working our twenties in in normal corporate jobs and business has been relatively successful and so far so good on that front. However, six months ago, one of my business partners broke up with his at the time girlfriend because he took a bunch of molly and saw one of our employees in a wedding dress and decided to start dating her instead.

• 1:15:58Speaker 07

  That relationship has created a massive shift in the power dynamic and definitely some tension between me and my other business partner and him because this employee has been a problem at our company for the entirety of her tenure. She is miserable and depressed all the time. There is no dragging her out of it.

• 1:16:25Speaker 07

  She is just an awful miserable person. Unfortunately, my business partner who started dating her is starting to become an awful miserable person. So my real question, Stav, is what the hell do we do? Do we confront him and tell him that dating this girl is only creating more problems? Do we just let it ride out and start to cut him out of the business? I'm at a loss as to how to handle this.

• 1:16:55Speaker 04

  This is tough.

• 1:16:55Stavros Halkias?

  Poor guy.

• 1:16:56Speaker 07

  Intense and he is an autistic little cat, uh, struggles to express his emotions outwardly. And, uh, it's gotten to the point where we just don't want to be around him. So I don't know what you think we should do, but curious to hear your thoughts. Thanks, bud.

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  Can you explain though? So this is a, uh, he broke up with his girlfriend and started dating an employee.

• 1:17:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, basically, basically, yes, they, they, they basically started a small business that seems to be going well. And he broke up with his girlfriend and started dating an employee. So there's a couple of elements to this. First of all, your friend fucked you, right? That's important to note that he is your, he's your boy and he completely fucked you. And, and by the way, starting a business with your friends, uh, you know, I have done it. Obviously there is huge downsides.

• 1:17:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:47Stavros Halkias?

  Sometimes your best friends barely know how to do their fucking job.

• 1:17:50Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:17:50Stavros Halkias?

  I would actually love it if Eldis was competent and actually started fucking JP on the side. That would actually, that would help stop your baby enterprises a lot more.

• 1:17:59Speaker 04

  That'd be a tall baby.

• 1:18:02Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis is definitely the one carrying it. Eldis definitely has the birthing hips.

• 1:18:13Stavros Halkias?

  But so, okay. The first thing is there's a business perspective.

• 1:18:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:18Stavros Halkias?

  And there's a friendship perspective. And this is also classically why people tell you not to go in business with people very close to you.

• 1:18:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:18:28Stavros Halkias?

  So I think you have to start from the friendship perspective. You have to start from there because this is your boy, right? And he is, you know, he has trouble with his feet, whatever. You need to tell him like, you gotta figure this shit out.

• 1:18:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:45Stavros Halkias?

  You know, we can't, the other thing is, he's really complicated things because it's an employee.

• 1:18:49Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:18:50Stavros Halkias?

  If it was just, if he just had some dumb bitch girlfriend, you could figure that a little bit.

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 1:18:56Stavros Halkias?

  But now they can't fire her. That's a fucking, that's a crazy lawsuit, probably.

• 1:19:01Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:19:01Stavros Halkias?

  And you have to kind of be like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? You have, we have to figure out a way to fucking like, you know, this was a mis, I mean, taking Molly and dating an, first of all, did you ever punish him? Or did he ever get his comeuppance for dating an employee?

• 1:19:16Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:19:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's a very interesting, like, how small is this company?

• 1:19:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:20Stavros Halkias?

  Is there an HR? Did you guys say, what the fuck are you doing? You're her boss. You can't fucking do that.

• 1:19:25Speaker 04

  Doesn't sound like it.

• 1:19:26Stavros Halkias?

  Probably not, right?

• 1:19:29Stavros Halkias?

  So you have to have a conversation with him. I don't know how that goes, because I don't really even know what you can say to him.

• 1:19:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:35Stavros Halkias?

  To get, like, what do you need from him to break up with this person? That has its own whole thing.

• 1:19:42Speaker 04

  Well, I think the only thing I can think of is, because you can't fire her, she might sue. So that sucks. So you gotta go, anything that happens with her is on you.

• 1:19:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:52Speaker 04

  And like, it can't affect the whole company.

• 1:19:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:19:54Speaker 04

  So maybe you can get that in writing or something, because like, you brought this crazy bitch into this situation. So you're responsible for her. So if she tries to fuck us, sue us, you're gonna have to deal with that? I don't know. This is a tough one.

• 1:20:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:07Speaker 04

  Or just break up, try to break up with her.

• 1:20:09Stavros Halkias?

  I, I think, yes. I think like, this is really, this is a difficult.

• 1:20:15Speaker 04

  You could do an us or her kind of thing. You get the two friends, like, break up with her, stay with the job, or?

• 1:20:21Speaker 06

  I think, I think a good starting place might be like, do you even understand, like, what happened here with your friend? He's essentially describing this guy blowing his life up, like, he took Molly, he dated, he broke up with his long-term ex and I don't know what, what he meant, like.

• 1:20:39Speaker 04

  The wedding dress?

• 1:20:40Speaker 06

  Saw one of our employees in a wedding dress.

• 1:20:42Stavros Halkias?

  He had a vision of this, of a depressed woman in a wedding.

• 1:20:45Speaker 04

  I didn't get that either.

• 1:20:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's how it felt like to me, anyway.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  Oh, this guy sucks.

• 1:20:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:50Speaker 04

  A vision? Get out of here.

• 1:20:51Speaker 06

  What hap, it's, that sounds like, you know, I don't know how old they are, quarter life, mid, midlife crisis, something where you're just like.

• 1:20:57Stavros Halkias?

  Well, first of all, even. Leaving the corporate world and starting a business, that's a little fucking midlife, quarter life crisis right there. It's positive because you want to be like, fuck the corp, I don't want to be a corporate fucking slave, I want to start something with my friends. So yeah, maybe all of them are have a little bit of that going on, right? But I do think, so there's the friend portion and you do have to have a tough guy, and that's a good point, I'm sorry to cut you off, because I think you're right, we need to have the conversation that's like, what the fuck happened, man? Can we start, can we start there? How are you feeling? It don't even make it about her specifically, be like, dude, I'll be honest, you've been a little erratic, you've been a little all over the place, your mood, don't, don't link it to her, just be like, you seem to have gotten more depressed, like, let's talk about

• 1:21:39Stavros Halkias?

  how you're feeling, like, is everything, like, you know, we've had a couple crazy years, because that's the other thing, when you have a successful business popping off, i- it is like, you don't really have time to reflect, that's a classic, pour everything into the business, don't think.

• 1:21:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, right.

• 1:21:53Stavros Halkias?

  So maybe you could be like, hey, man, we've been doing this for a couple of years, shit's kind of stable, what the fuck's going on? We feel like shit's going a little, you feel like, you feel a little depressed, you feel a little erratic, you broke up with what's-her-face, you're with, you started dating an employee, you kind of fucked us there, let's talk about it, and really go to him as friends, first and foremost, but then you also have to have the business side of it, right? It's like, and look, like, if Eldis was ultimately doing something that was fucking things up so, so bad, I would just have to be like, like, if Eldis was fucking addicted to fucking drugs, cheating on his wife on the road, I'd be like, alright, man, well, you're suspended indefinitely.

• 1:22:32Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:22:33Stavros Halkias?

  You have to go to fucking rehab.

• 1:22:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:35Stavros Halkias?

  You have to figure your shit out, you're my boy, and right now you're fucking both our relationship and our business up.

• 1:22:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:22:41Stavros Halkias?

  So I'm not going to fire you, but I am going to say, you can't fucking be here until you finish, figure your shit out.

• 1:22:47Speaker 04

  But he's also sane, I mean, you know, the other guy, they talk about he's like a artistic weirdo.

• 1:22:53Stavros Halkias?

  But we're talking about a scenario where he's not, he's lost his mind, right? Like, and so that's, so you got to approach him as a friend first, but you have a fucking business here, and I hate to, and, and there are obviously things that are more important than business, you know, we're, we're an anti- Capitalist podcast here. Uh, we don't think just money for money's sake will make you happy. There's nothing wrong with having a successful business, but putting just success over everything's a mistake. But also, if you're running a business, you want to make sure it's fucking functioning.

• 1:23:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:22Stavros Halkias?

  And if one of your friends is fucking it up, you can be like, hey, after we've had the discussion about you as our boy, this has bled into the business.

• 1:23:29Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:23:30Stavros Halkias?

  And now you've kind of fucked a couple of things up where you're dating an employee. That's a fucking nightmare. We might have to demote you on paper.

• 1:23:38Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:23:38Stavros Halkias?

  Or we might have to do something. Cause like now, you know, the could, you don't want, you can't,

• 1:23:46Stavros Halkias?

  you don't want it to be behind his back because you don't want business to destroy your relationship. He's fucked you. You want to give him the opportunity to redeem himself.

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 1:23:55Stavros Halkias?

  But then if he just, if he's like, fuck you, it's love.

• 1:23:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:23:59Stavros Halkias?

  How dare you talk to him this way? Then he's decided, okay, fine. We're in a corporate fucking, now it's like us versus you.

• 1:24:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:24:08Stavros Halkias?

  And then you do maybe have to cut him out or just sort of like have him have less decision making or whatever.

• 1:24:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:13Stavros Halkias?

  Or buy him out even.

• 1:24:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause it's two against one now.

• 1:24:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:16Speaker 04

  And if you pick her over the company, it's not a good sign for the company.

• 1:24:20Stavros Halkias?

  So I think the, the way to do it is to give your boy, cause the cold hearted way is cut him out. And business wise, it's like, he fucked you behind his back.

• 1:24:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:31Stavros Halkias?

  Come up with a plan to cut him out of your business.

• 1:24:33Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:24:34Stavros Halkias?

  Right? Cause he's a headache, whatever.

• 1:24:37Stavros Halkias?

  That's the smart on paper move.

• 1:24:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:24:39Stavros Halkias?

  The human thing to do because, and by the way, if he wasn't one of your best friends, I would even say that might be the smart thing to do. Because he's clearly putting your business in jeopardy.

• 1:24:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:49Stavros Halkias?

  But the fact he's one of your best friends means you have to do a, what is not smart from a business standpoint.

• 1:24:55Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:24:56Stavros Halkias?

  And approach him with all your cards on the table and be like,

• 1:24:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:24:59Stavros Halkias?

  I care about you. Let's figure your shit out. Here's how you fuck the company. Here's how we need to fix it. And if he, if he takes that personally and he's like, fuck you, whatever. That was your attempt at being the bigger man.

• 1:25:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:25:11Stavros Halkias?

  And he kind of squandered it.

• 1:25:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:13Stavros Halkias?

  He did, by the way, he did fuck you. Again, if Eldis fucking got fucked up and posted his dick on my fucking YouTube and got it taken down.

• 1:25:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:21Stavros Halkias?

  I would kill him.

• 1:25:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:25:23Stavros Halkias?

  I would beat the fuck out of him, right? I would, I wouldn't cut him out of my life again because he is my best friend.

• 1:25:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:25:28Stavros Halkias?

  But there would be a, there would be retribution.

• 1:25:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, there you go.

• 1:25:32Stavros Halkias?

  Right? And this guy needs to understand he's kind of fucked you.

• 1:25:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:25:35Stavros Halkias?

  You can still be the bigger person and not be a cold hearted fucking businessman first and foremost. But if he pushes your hand, you can still just cut him out because he did fuck you. I think that's sort of, after thinking about it, I feel like that's right to me.

• 1:25:47Speaker 04

  There you go. I mean, I wish we knew what the company, it'd be great if it was like Truth Social or something. The guys that did OnlyFans or whatever.

• 1:25:54Stavros Halkias?

  Black Rifle Coffee. That would be awesome. If we have some troop coffee.

• 1:25:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:26:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's probably, yeah, it's gonna be such a bullshit. It's like, we do so, remember Chia Pets? We're doing.

• 1:26:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:26:07Stavros Halkias?

  We have, we have a licensing deal with like fucking Hasbro. Just some low level bullshit.

• 1:26:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:26:14Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, uh, that's an interesting one.

• 1:26:16Speaker 04

  That is tough.

• 1:26:17Stavros Halkias?

  And I bet you this guy is just, this is classic quarter life, midlife crisis shit.

• 1:26:21Speaker 04

  Sounds like it.

• 1:26:22Stavros Halkias?

  I started a business, he's dating the wrong, he's dating a depressed girl with bangs and piercings probably. He's never tasted depressed pussy in his life.

• 1:26:31Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:26:31Stavros Halkias?

  He thinks it's the elixir. He, he never was a open mic'er in his twenties.

• 1:26:36Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 1:26:37Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:26:37Speaker 04

  And he owns a company now and she's beneath him. I'm sure he's never had that before.

• 1:26:42Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, of course. Lot of problems here.

• 1:26:44Speaker 05

  In business, there's the easy way with staples or the hard way. Hard means.

• 1:26:49Speaker 07

  New office opening. Kevin, find a cleaning supplies vendor. Frank, we need furniture. Susan, get someone to deliver coffee. Move, move, move.

• 1:26:56Speaker 05

  Easy means one vendor for all. Your workplace needs hard means.

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  Okay, your break room delivery is confirmed. Great. For Sunday, 5 a.m. Great.

• 1:27:06Speaker 05

  Easy means next day delivery, when and where you need it. Don't choose hard, choose Staples. That was easy. Visit staples.com to learn more about our business solutions. Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper, 7-Up Inc.

• 1:27:40Stavros Halkias?

  Hit us with another one, a little Eldons.

• 1:27:43Speaker 00

  Hi, Stav. Uh, me and my husband are in a non-monogamous relationship.

• 1:27:49Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh.

• 1:27:50Speaker 00

  I don't really date that much, mostly because I hate people.

• 1:27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 1:27:55Speaker 00

  Um, but he's very outgoing, so he does have like a few girlfriends.

• 1:27:59Stavros Halkias?

  Respect.

• 1:28:00Speaker 00

  Unfortunately, every time he gets a girlfriend, um, they want to have sex with me. I don't, I mean, they want to have sex with him too. But I don't want to have sex with them. Like, I barely want to have sex with my husband.

• 1:28:22Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:28:23Speaker 00

  Non-monogamous relationship.

• 1:28:24Stavros Halkias?

  What's going on? This is interesting. I'd love to talk to her.

• 1:28:27Speaker 00

  So, how would you

• 1:28:33Speaker 00

  tell these girls that you don't want to have sex with them?

• 1:28:38Stavros Halkias?

  I would.

• 1:28:38Speaker 00

  In a way that makes them want to continue having sex with my husband.

• 1:28:45Stavros Halkias?

  Your husband?

• 1:28:46Speaker 04

  This is crazy. I can't believe my wife called in. Yeah.

• 1:28:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Oh dude, why, yeah, why the fuck did you patch in Mark's live voicemails?

• 1:28:59Speaker 04

  This is a wild one.

• 1:29:00Stavros Halkias?

  This is a good one. This is a real, I'd love to talk to this person on a live call because I think it's very interesting to think of a non-monogamous relationship working solely, because you know, we get questions about mismatched sex drives a lot.

• 1:29:14Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:29:15Stavros Halkias?

  And there's something kinda nice about someone who's not really like a weird poly sex nerd, but she just seems to be a kind of an open-minded person who's like, "Look, I don't like fucking that much. I love my husband. If he wants to go out and fuck girls and he wears a condom and it's safe, great."

• 1:29:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:29:32Stavros Halkias?

  I respect, that's kind of, you never hear about polyamorous relationships that are purely about like logistics.

• 1:29:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:40Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it's usually about

• 1:29:41Speaker 04

  It's just like feety, touchy-feely.

• 1:29:42Stavros Halkias?

  Weird kinda people trying to get over some kinda sexual trauma.

• 1:29:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:29:46Stavros Halkias?

  Just some kinda weird relationship to sex. This is a very pragmatic one that it's kinda fun and fun to talk about.

• 1:29:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, and also they're trying to bang her and she's not into it. That's also rare. Most of the girls like, "Let's all fuck and let's all be together."

• 1:30:00Stavros Halkias?

  Which is probably, my read is that these women want to sort of, because these are all clearly people who are very comfortable in being in a polyamorous, non-monogamous situation. To me, it's almost like when you're the girlfriend that gets to fuck the wife, that kinda cosigns you as like a, an upper tier girlfriend. They kinda, in the harem power rankings.

• 1:30:24Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 1:30:24Stavros Halkias?

  If you're the one who got to be in the threesome with the wife.

• 1:30:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:27Stavros Halkias?

  You sort of have her blessing almost as the top, as the top concubine.

• 1:30:32Speaker 04

  Very interesting.

• 1:30:33Stavros Halkias?

  That's my guess, is that there is some kind of psychology here to that.

• 1:30:37Speaker 04

  I conquered the husband and the wife.

• 1:30:38Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right. The wife gives me her tacit approval.

• 1:30:41Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:30:42Stavros Halkias?

  And you know, maybe they're just, also maybe they just, you know, they wanna fuck you, they think you're hot, whatever, that makes sense too.

• 1:30:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:50Stavros Halkias?

  But how do you tell them? How about, I don't think that's a big problem.

• 1:30:54Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 1:30:55Stavros Halkias?

  I think your boy, your, your husband and his girlfriends can fuck each other.

• 1:30:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:00Stavros Halkias?

  Like, if they really wanna threesome, you know, they, they'll, I don't think this is a big deal. You could just be like, "I'm not really into it." By the way... He's in a great setup.

• 1:31:11Speaker 04

  This guy has nothing to complain about.

• 1:31:13Stavros Halkias?

  This guy's not gonna be like, oh, come on.

• 1:31:15Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:31:15Stavros Halkias?

  Why would you have a threesome with me and my girlfriend?

• 1:31:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:19Stavros Halkias?

  He's pretty pumped.

• 1:31:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:20Stavros Halkias?

  You don't even really date. And I would ask, is this a, like, just, look, maybe I'm just being too, after praising it, now I gotta play the opposite.

• 1:31:30Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:31:31Stavros Halkias?

  Which is like, is, you know, it's in the news right now, are you in a Lindy West situation? You know, you sound kinda sad.

• 1:31:39Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:31:40Stavros Halkias?

  Are you just a depressed person?

• 1:31:41Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:31:42Stavros Halkias?

  That's okay. Listen, if you're a depressed person, or maybe you just have a flat affect, maybe you're very happy, and maybe you don't have a high sex drive, that's okay. But by the way, being depr- lack of sex drive is part of depression sometimes for certain people.

• 1:31:53Speaker 04

  That's true, that's true.

• 1:31:55Stavros Halkias?

  Did you used to have a high sex drive? Did you used to be more outgoing and, cause you know, you didn't even say like, he's less horny than me, you're like, he's a more outgoing guy.

• 1:32:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:02Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe you're just a homebody who does, she says she doesn't like people.

• 1:32:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:32:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's fine.

• 1:32:07Speaker 04

  Sounded like fucking her husband, she said even.

• 1:32:08Stavros Halkias?

  You don't even like, so, now, maybe this is, best case scenario, you're kind of like ace, almost asexual.

• 1:32:14Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:32:15Stavros Halkias?

  And you do have a true romantic, eh, and even platonic and life partner love with your husband, and you're like, yeah, it's not that important to me, I don't care if you fuck girls, great. But, I am curious, is that really the case? Cause you just sounded a little sad to me.

• 1:32:30Speaker 04

  Agreed.

• 1:32:31Stavros Halkias?

  And it's like, I'd love to ma- I wanna make sure you are actually okay with this.

• 1:32:36Speaker 04

  Mmm.

• 1:32:37Stavros Halkias?

  Is kinda my thought.

• 1:32:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, cause is anybody really okay with this? We do a lot of poly stuff, but a lot of it falls apart.

• 1:32:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:44Speaker 04

  A lot of it ends in drama.

• 1:32:45Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. I, I agree, and I think what unlocked me was when people are like, well, what about regular marriages?

• 1:32:52Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:32:52Stavros Halkias?

  When a poly person's like, okay, yeah, our relationships do end bad, what about your relationships?

• 1:32:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's a good point.

• 1:32:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's actually one of their best counters.

• 1:32:59Speaker 04

  That's pretty good.

• 1:32:59Stavros Halkias?

  Cause when I heard that, cause I used to love arguing with, eh, you know, my, like, eh, I've, I've like, friends back home who were like, really like, cause look, to me, I think they just reinvented cheating.

• 1:33:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly, they branded it.

• 1:33:12Stavros Halkias?

  When someone is like, when someone is like, I'm solo poly, it's like, you're just getting pussy, you're getting dick.

• 1:33:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:33:18Stavros Halkias?

  Solo poly means you're sing- People say they're solo but polyamorous.

• 1:33:23Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:33:23Stavros Halkias?

  Which means they're not in a relationship, but they're just letting everybody know, if we ever got in a relationship, I would also need to fuck other people.

• 1:33:29Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 1:33:30Stavros Halkias?

  Which to me, it just means like, no, you're just- You're really just dating.

• 1:33:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:33:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's it. Like, a lot of this is just rebranded.

• 1:33:37Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:33:37Stavros Halkias?

  And listen, to me, I think, I could see myself being in a fucking, you could argue I have been in open relationships with all the girls I've dated in the last couple of years, because I've never been in a committed relationship.

• 1:33:49Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 1:33:49Stavros Halkias?

  But I have, you know, I've seen, there's people in my life that I see on a regular basis, whatever. By accident, you kind of enter into one of those. But it's like, yes, the, I think the amount of people that this really works for is probably really small.

• 1:34:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:06Stavros Halkias?

  But, I do think, if it does work, it's, it is a situat-, it is the best case situation of this one, which is like, yeah, I'm just, it doesn't bother me, and I don't want to fuck that much, and this is just who I am. So, maybe that's just who you are, but to, my antenna are up.

• 1:34:21Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:34:21Stavros Halkias?

  Of like, let's, let's examine this.

• 1:34:23Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:34:24Stavros Halkias?

  Are you actually happy?

• 1:34:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:34:26Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:34:26Speaker 04

  Because if you're really into the poly world, you would be kind of like, oh, the husband and the new girl want to fuck me.

• 1:34:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:32Speaker 04

  Like, at least be flattered by it. She'd even seem flattered.

• 1:34:34Stavros Halkias?

  Even as someone who doesn't like dating very much, because you don't like seeing other people, it's like, well, ostensibly, you trust your husband's judgment.

• 1:34:40Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:34:41Stavros Halkias?

  And so this is actually an easy way for you, if you, if you weren't social but horny.

• 1:34:46Speaker 04

  Silver platter.

• 1:34:47Stavros Halkias?

  Well, my fucking husband's already, you know, vetted her.

• 1:34:49Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:34:50Stavros Halkias?

  If you're bi, which I assume, you know, I'm assuming.

• 1:34:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's gotta be fine.

• 1:34:54Stavros Halkias?

  But anyway.

• 1:34:54Speaker 06

  Even, even the way she's framing it, it makes her husband like, sound so passive or something, and it's like, how can I just keep these whores on his dick and keep the intimacy and sex completely outsourced, so I don't have to like, deal about like, worrying with that with him?

• 1:35:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:10Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:35:11Stavros Halkias?

  Right, that's interesting.

• 1:35:11Speaker 04

  He's living. He's busy, this guy.

• 1:35:14Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:35:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:35:15Speaker 06

  It's like, does he even notice that?

• 1:35:17Stavros Halkias?

  That she's kind of sad?

• 1:35:18Speaker 06

  That you're kind of sad?

• 1:35:19Speaker 04

  Doesn't sound like it.

• 1:35:20Speaker 06

  Or, all right.

• 1:35:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, the thing that, the thing that shocks me is the idea that you would be, you would have found someone you want to be with, and then you're still on Tinder?

• 1:35:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a lot of work.

• 1:35:32Stavros Halkias?

  I knew, I've known people who are in open relationships and it's like, and they really do like their partners. And I'm like, you guys got it.

• 1:35:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:35:40Stavros Halkias?

  You wanna go have a first date?

• 1:35:42Speaker 04

  I know, get to know somebody?

• 1:35:44Stavros Halkias?

  Cause some of them don't even just fuck. If they just fucked, I kind of, I understand that way more where it's like, look, we're adults. If you fucking fuck every once in a while, but it doesn't mean anything, who cares? But these are people who have multiple girlfriends and, you know, whatever. So anyway, I would examine it, but also your actual problem does not sound like a problem.

• 1:36:03Speaker 04

  No, you got it, you got it made. You don't wanna fuck your husband and somebody else is doing it? And you have to turn them down a few times? You're, you're, you're good, you're cruising.

• 1:36:11Stavros Halkias?

  But is that her problem overall? Is it a lack of communication? Cause if she can't, doesn't know how to say this, she definitely doesn't know how to say more complicated stuff than that.

• 1:36:19Speaker 04

  That's true, that's true.

• 1:36:20Stavros Halkias?

  If she has any nuanced issues with their arrangement, she has no way of, of, of voicing that.

• 1:36:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:26Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to see if you can contact her. I'd love to talk to her on a, on a live call.

• 1:36:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:32Stavros Halkias?

  I'd love to get to the bo- to get to the bottom of this.

• 1:36:34Speaker 04

  And to your point about the marriage also falling apart, cause poly shit falls apart. Poly shit, you break up, there's no legal.

• 1:36:41Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 1:36:42Speaker 04

  There's no money, there's no like prenup or lawsuit or lawyers or anything, so that's also better.

• 1:36:48Stavros Halkias?

  Or does it end up worse where now you have to pay four people?

• 1:36:52Stavros Halkias?

  Look, I'm not giving my wife's boyfriend Jonathan a cent.

• 1:36:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:36:58Speaker 04

  Give me a bit.

• 1:36:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, alright, I'll write it down. The fourth hour, we gotta get that going.

• 1:37:03Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:37:04Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, little LD, why don't you play us something fun to go out on, little buddy?

• 1:37:08Speaker 06

  Sure, let's try this one on for size.

• 1:37:11Stavros Halkias?

  Hey stop, eldest, yes. Uh, so my name is a family name that's been in my family for several generations now. And the name itself, like first and last name together are kinda hilarious. Um, it sounds like a, like a porn star's name. It's something along the lines of like, uh, Hugh Johnson or something like that.

• 1:37:32Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:37:32Stavros Halkias?

  Obviously not my real name, but it's an awesome name. Um, and Dick Striker. It's been nothing but like a great asset in my life, to be honest. The girls love it, the guys love it even more. Yeah. Now, when it comes to my wife. What do you think his name is? Dick Hard?

• 1:37:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's something like that.

• 1:37:49Stavros Halkias?

  Dick Rock?

• 1:37:50Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:37:50Stavros Halkias?

  Dick Rock would be an awesome.

• 1:37:51Speaker 04

  Dick Rock is a great name.

• 1:37:55Stavros Halkias?

  Dick Rock.

• 1:37:56Speaker 04

  lukewarm.

• 1:37:59Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, keep going, old. My wife and potentially keeping the name in our family, she's totally against it. She thinks it's a ridiculous name, uh, which I kind of agree with, but, um, like I said, it's done nothing but do great things in my life. So the question is, keep the name or not? Um, thanks. Appreciate you guys. Uh, love the show. Bye. I mean, I'd love to know your real name.

• 1:38:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:38:26Stavros Halkias?

  But you gotta keep the name.

• 1:38:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, come on.

• 1:38:29Stavros Halkias?

  If it's a generational thing, look, it's one thing if you have a generational name, like I've known people who are like, you know, whatever, Stanley, whatever the fuck, the ninth or the, like, I knew somebody who was like somebody the sixth. He, his son would have been the sixth or the seventh.

• 1:38:43Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:38:44Stavros Halkias?

  And he's like, that's cool, but also my experience with it, and they're not rich or anything. People expect you to be some like.

• 1:38:53Speaker 04

  Some heir.

• 1:38:53Stavros Halkias?

  Posh, some heir, some like, and he had a horrible time with it and he just decided we're stopping it.

• 1:38:59Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 1:39:00Stavros Halkias?

  Cause it wasn't, he doesn't really feel any connection or whatever. And it's like, okay, that's totally your decision. But if this has been around the family for generations.

• 1:39:08Speaker 04

  And it's funny.

• 1:39:09Stavros Halkias?

  And you like it. That's, that's the main thing. And, and here's the thing, you can change the kid's name.

• 1:39:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:39:15Stavros Halkias?

  If they don't like it, or they can go by fucking, you know, Junior.

• 1:39:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39:20Stavros Halkias?

  Or whatever the fuck. I think you got, personally, I think you gotta keep it. And I think where you fucked up was not having this conversation with your wife earlier.

• 1:39:29Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:39:29Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? Cause. And look, maybe it's not a deal breaker for him. Maybe he's like, to me, I'm just, I still can't get Dick Rock out of my head.

• 1:39:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:39:38Stavros Halkias?

  Or like Dick Pounder.

• 1:39:43Stavros Halkias?

  Who is that? What the fuck? The Seattle, the quarterbacks? His grandfather was named something hilarious.

• 1:39:49Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 1:39:50Stavros Halkias?

  Can you look it up? Uh, Sam Darnold grandfather? He was the original like Marlboro man and he was named like Dick. Honestly, not far off. It was Dick something.

• 1:39:58Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:39:59Stavros Halkias?

  Dick Stroker or some shit like that?

• 1:40:01Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 1:40:02Speaker 06

  Dick Hammer.

• 1:40:02Stavros Halkias?

  Dick Hammer!

• 1:40:04Speaker 04

  Dude! That sounds like one of the Trump's operations. Operation Dick Hammer.

• 1:40:09Stavros Halkias?

  Operation Dick Hammer. We're giving Israel all of Europe for Operation Righteous Dick Hammer.

• 1:40:16Speaker 04

  That dick is circumcised.

• 1:40:19Speaker 04

  Dick Hammer. I mean, come on. That's gold.

• 1:40:22Stavros Halkias?

  So let's just say it's Dick Hammer.

• 1:40:24Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 1:40:25Stavros Halkias?

  And your wife wants to make your son's name Gregory Hammer?

• 1:40:32Stavros Halkias?

  Frank, oh, the Frank Hammer sounds pretty good, too.

• 1:40:34Speaker 04

  Hammer's not bad.

• 1:40:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but it's not. We're getting bogged down in Hammer. But the idea that I had Dick Hammer in my family.

• 1:40:42Speaker 04

  Unreal.

• 1:40:42Stavros Halkias?

  And I willingly chose.

• 1:40:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:40:45Stavros Halkias?

  Not to bestow that on my son, that pisses me the fuck off.

• 1:40:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:40:50Stavros Halkias?

  The idea that you would not keep your hilarious name, and again, he loved it.

• 1:40:55Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:40:55Stavros Halkias?

  If you had an experience where you're like, this sucked, people treat, I got made fun of. And look, let's be honest, you, you might not have, your, your kid might have a, the kind of dispensation where they don't like it. And that's all right. Nicknames exist, name changes exist. Who cares? I think you at least have to give, when it comes to tradition, if it's something you like, I think you gotta give it a shot.

• 1:41:19Speaker 04

  Can you go, oh, so can you go legal name, but then have a nickname? You know, like give the kid the name, but just call him something else.

• 1:41:25Speaker 06

  Dick is so good because if they don't fuck with it when they grow up.

• 1:41:28Stavros Halkias?

  We don't know that it's Dick.

• 1:41:29Speaker 06

  Go Richard. I know, but as an example, it's like, is your name something that could go by those same rules? Is there a longer version?

• 1:41:36Stavros Halkias?

  I wish he told us his name so we could work, really work something.

• 1:41:39Speaker 04

  Cause Hammer, you could do Jack.

• 1:41:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:41Speaker 04

  I got Jack Hammer. I mean, there's a lot of fun things to do.

• 1:41:45Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, text, text Elvis your actual name and we'll think about it more.

• 1:41:49Speaker 04

  Yes, please. And text me later because I'm curious too.

• 1:41:52Stavros Halkias?

  But I, I am firmly in the camp, and look, obviously.

• 1:41:58Stavros Halkias?

  You're appealing to us. We're stupid, right?

• 1:42:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:01Stavros Halkias?

  We're the kind of people that if we met a guy named Dick Hammer at a bar, we were buying him drinks all night.

• 1:42:06Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:42:06Stavros Halkias?

  We were taking him out. We were trying to make him our best friend.

• 1:42:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:42:09Stavros Halkias?

  On the strength of his name being Dick Hammer, or you know, Dick Rock, or whatever.

• 1:42:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, Jack Offmate, something.

• 1:42:18Stavros Halkias?

  But, so whatever. But I do think there, even you take that out of the, the mix. I think in general, family and tradition, as long as it's not, it doesn't, you know, stop you from developing a sense of individualism. As long as there's nothing, you know, that you're embarrassed by, or they did anything fucked up. Cause that's another problem with like, tradition. It's like some of the most, like, you know, some of the most storied New York families. It's like, you go to all the streets in like, Brook, like, Stuyvesant, whatever.

• 1:42:48Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:42:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's basically a list of slave owners in New York.

• 1:42:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, antisemites, yeah.

• 1:42:52Stavros Halkias?

  So unfortunately, sometimes, tradition does interact with some

• 1:42:57Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 1:42:57Stavros Halkias?

  unchill things.

• 1:42:59Speaker 04

  All the time.

• 1:42:59Stavros Halkias?

  But if it's just a funny.

• 1:43:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's fun. Uh, what, what do you got? Like, um, Rusty Hog, you know?

• 1:43:07Stavros Halkias?

  Rusty Hogger.

• 1:43:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:43:09Stavros Halkias?

  I would love that, man. So anyway, you gotta keep it. Your fucking wife's a fucking bitch.

• 1:43:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, no sense of humor.

• 1:43:15Stavros Halkias?

  I get where she's coming from too, but.

• 1:43:17Speaker 04

  Her name's Harry Kooz. That's a guy. Wait, nevermind.

• 1:43:23Stavros Halkias?

  Harrietta, Harrietta Kooz.

• 1:43:25Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 1:43:27Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, yes, keep the name and let us know what it actually is. We wanna know.

• 1:43:31Speaker 04

  Diana know.

• 1:43:32Stavros Halkias?

  He didn't tell you secretly in any back channel, did he, Eldis?

• 1:43:36Speaker 06

  I just sent out the text. Let's see if we get it.

• 1:43:39Stavros Halkias?

  We will not get it in the 10 seconds.

• 1:43:43Stavros Halkias?

  A small one?

• 1:43:44Speaker 04

  Just a pooper.

• 1:43:46Stavros Halkias?

  That's gonna do it for us. Folks, go watch the special.

• 1:43:49Speaker 04

  Yes, None Too Pleased.

• 1:43:50Stavros Halkias?

  On Netflix right now. Uh, and, uh, yeah, thank you for, uh, I guess we're done touring, Eldis.

• 1:43:57Speaker 04

  Woo!

• 1:43:58Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, actually, I just filmed my, I just filmed my special.

• 1:44:00Speaker 04

  There you go. Alright, celebrate.

• 1:44:03Stavros Halkias?

  Just two days ago, I was filming my special.

• 1:44:06Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:44:06Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, anyway, that's. Going to do it for us, folks. Thank you. Uh, go see Mark on the road, listen to go, listen to Tuesdays, listen to We Might Be Drunk. You do, you do really, you do podcasts with two of my favorite guys in the world.

• 1:44:18Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:44:18Stavros Halkias?

  I didn't even think about that.

• 1:44:19Speaker 04

  Two of the funniest guys.

• 1:44:21Stavros Halkias?

  Sam and Joe really are like my boy. Maybe the two and Soder.

• 1:44:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:25Stavros Halkias?

  Like who, once I moved, were like so over the top nice to me.

• 1:44:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:44:31Stavros Halkias?

  That I was like, fuck, man.

• 1:44:33Speaker 04

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:44:34Stavros Halkias?

  What's going on here?

• 1:44:34Speaker 04

  We got a good crew out there.

• 1:44:36Stavros Halkias?

  Good crew, good crew. Uh, anyway, that's going to do it for us, folks. We will talk to you next week. Bye bye.

• 1:44:51Speaker 01

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• 1:45:17Speaker 05

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