Gabrielle Union ON: Vulnerability & Turning Your Weakness Into Your Superpower

Gabrielle Union chats with Jay Shetty to talk about a woman’s inner strength. From her arduous journey to have children and competing against her partner on career growth, to realizing what makes a marriage work and thriving in communities where your resources benefit the majority. Gabrielle is an actress who starred in several romantic films such as The Brothers, Deliver Us from Eva, Think Like a Man, and Think Like a Man Too. She portrayed the lead character in the BET drama series Being Mary Jane, of which she received an NAACP Image Award. Married to Dwyane Wade, she continues to advocate for survivors of assault. Head over to samatea.com/onpurpose to find out your Tea Personality! What We Discuss with Gabrielle: 00:00 Intro 02:54 Struggling to have children 11:21 Every child is unique 15:45 Support looks different for men and women 20:19 Figuring out how to walk side by side with your partner 24:30 You can’t compete with your partner 28:37 Most children aren't going to be shady for no reason 32:06 Rising through a terrible experience 38:20 Don’t try to hide when you feel vulnerable 46:07 Raise girls to have a world perspective, not with a town perspective 48:18 Accepting your child for who they identify as 53:55 It’s about building communities to share resources 55:53 Gabrielle on Fast Five Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! Episode Resources: Gabrielle Union | Instagram Gabrielle Union | Twitter Gabrielle Union | Facebook Gabrielle Union | Amazon Flawless Achieve success in every area of your life with Jay Shetty’s Genius Community. Join over 10,000 members taking their holistic well-being to the next level today, at https://shetty.cc/OnPurposeGenius See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Amtrak. You know that feeling when you're already tired and you haven't even gotten there yet? That's where Amtrak comes in. Leave the driving behind and settle into a comfortable seat with plenty of room to stretch out. Catch up on work with wifi, grab a snack at the cafe car, or just sit back and enjoy your favourite podcast. Choose a cellar or North East Regional and get there without the stress of getting there. Visit amtrak.com to plan your next trip. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up? It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating.

• 0:45Jay Shetty?

  And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and it's clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1

• 1:28Jay Shetty?

  Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up? It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on.

• 1:59Jay Shetty?

  AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:41Jay Shetty?

  That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  What if what you think is weakness? What if those are actually your strengths? What if being vulnerable and open to looking at the world in a different way, moving through the world in a different way, approaching problem solving in a different way was actually your superpower?

• 3:18Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now you know that I absolutely love autobiographies and biographies. I love learning about how real people have dealt with real challenges and real situations in their life. And today's guest is someone's book that I've been reading. I'm about halfway through it, in all honesty, and I can't put it down because of just how honest, raw, open, and vulnerable today's author is about some seriously life-changing moments. And I know for a fact that this is going to help you if you read the book and it's

• 4:00Jay Shetty?

  going to help the people around you because of what you learn from it. And I'm sure you'll be passing this one on. I'm speaking about none other than Gabriel. Gabrielle Union, and for those of you that don't know, she's an actress, executive producer, activist and bestselling author. And she'll next be seen in Disney's remake of Cheaper by the Dozen, developed by Kenya Barris for Disney Plus. In May of 2021, Gabrielle released, in partnership with her husband, Dwyane Wade, her second children's book, Shady Baby, which became a New York Times bestseller the first week of release. Her first book, We're Going to Need More Wine: Stories That Are Funny, Complicated and True, was released in 2017 and instantly became a New York Times bestseller.

• 4:45Jay Shetty?

  And the book we're talking about today, that I just told you I was reading, is called You Got Anything Stronger? And it will be released on September 14th of this year. I'm grateful to have an early copy and have this conversation. Gabrielle, thank you so much for making the time. I know you have a busy schedule, but I'm glad we're getting to do this.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I'm excited. I'm so excited to be on your show. So thank you for having me.

• 5:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I meant what I said when I was just sharing that as I've been reading your book. I was learning things about you that I did not know. And I couldn't put it down because the way you deeply describe some truly life-changing moments, I think is going to impact so many people in the world. So I thanked you offline, but I want to say online as well that thank you for writing this book as a service. Because I think it's going to move and make a difference in the lives of so many people. I want to start off by something you talk about in the first chapter. We're going to dive straight in. You start off by talking about how the question changed from when are you going to have kids? To why don't you get a surrogate, right? Like this question changes in your life.

• 5:51Jay Shetty?

  Tell us about the transition of experiencing what it felt like when you were struggling to have children and then having the question change. And it still doesn't make you feel better instantly and it doesn't improve. Tell us about that experience from your perspective.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, first, I think when it comes to women's reproductive health.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  It you don't, most people don't, um, they knock at the door and they don't wait for anyone to answer. They just come on in your house, they're looking through your cabinets, they're under your, you know, you're on, they're under your bed. They feel completely entitled to your truth, whatever that may be. Um, so I never really had the luxury of not sharing certain things. Um, because if I didn't share it, you know, uh, they would turn an IVF cycle into a pregnancy. And they would report on me being pregnant. Um, and it was just, it was like, you know, me chasing my tail. So I just got to the point where I'm just gonna be as transparent about, you know, as much of this as I can.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Um, but people feel very comfortable, you know, asking you, it's like whether you're married, not married. If you're with a guy, um, that people or if you're coupled, people feel like the next and only step. You better give us a baby and that baby better be awesome and have the cure for cancer. Like it, there is no, might you do anything else? Um, the world is very suspicious of women who don't have children. They don't even care what the reason is. You don't have kids, they assume the worst about you. You are the scum of the earth. What woman wouldn't wanna have kids?

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Um, so, so much of this process for so many people is just fraught with a lot of pain and a lot of, um, entitled behavior on the part of those around us. So immediately, as soon as, you know, I had been with Dee, before we were even married, it was, so when are you guys gonna have a kid? When are you guys gonna have a kid? And for me, um, as someone, you know, we'd both already been married before. I, I wanted to, you know, wait until we were in a better place in our relationship. Um, but no one wanted to, to, to be patient. It was a, a constant barrage, win, win, win, you better give us this freaking baby.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  And then I started feeling not only the pressure I was putting on myself and my body, and starting to feel very defective and feeling like I was unworthy of motherhood, unworthy of a baby. Babies were rejecting me. Um, you know, all of those feelings that take us right back to childhood of, you know, of, um, you know, wild insecurities, um, being very concerned about what everyone is thinking. Um, and, and making decisions based on outside noise, right? Um, so by the time I had gone through years of, of IVF cycles and constant miscarriages that I, that I talk about in the first book,

• 9:00Speaker 02

  um, I was just ready to keep going. Let's try another cycle, whatever, whatever it takes. So by the time I met Dr. Kelly Beck, um, who's based in Los Angeles, and she is a fertility specialist, but she's not a one size fits all fertility doctor like some. Um, a lot of doctors are very concerned about their success rates and live births and they don't, they're not really that concerned about finding the why of your infertility. It's just, I'm gonna get you a baby and I don't care how it happens.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Right.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Um, and with Kelly, with Dr. Kelly Beck, she was like, well, let's figure out what's wrong first and then we can make a, an educated plan that's based and tailored to you. And I was like, what is this you speak of? Cause I had been to literally every leading fertility doctor in the country. And so first examination, she was like, oh, you have adenomyosis. And everyone pronounces that differently. So if you pronounce adenomyosis differently, all good. We're saying the same thing. It's endometriosis of the muscle. So as an embryo is trying to implant, the, um, the adenomyosis grows around it and it will snuff it out like, like a blob. So.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Dr. Beck was like, okay, these are your options. You can either go with a gestational carrier, AKA a surrogate, or we can start you on Lupron. But with Lupron, it puts your body into early menopause, which would quiet the adenomyosis. We would implant an embryo and hope, hope that it would grow faster than the adenomyosis returned.

• 10:44Jay Shetty?

  And that was the first time you'd heard that?

• 10:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, thirty is a whole lot more than zero, which is what I was battling. But the idea of a surrogate just felt like failure. And it felt, for me, a fate worse than death is public failure, public humiliation. And my body betraying me, where I needed to bring in some other person to get the job done, felt so public. And it just felt like such a public failure, public humiliation, public loss. And I was willing to do anything to avoid that. So I went through like another year of IVF treatments. Didn't do the Lupron, but just continued, you know, on another year.

• 11:29Speaker 02

  But then I was like, you know what? Give me the Lupron. I'm doing it. I'm going in. I'm going in. And my husband was like, you've done enough.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  And I was like, you're not calling it. I'm calling it. You know, you have a gang of kids. I don't have any. I have awesome stepkids, but I don't have any of my own. So it's really easy for you to say.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  And he said, as much as we want this baby, as much as I want this baby, I want you more.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  And about that point, I was like, I begrudgingly agreed to surrogacy.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  And then that is its own fun journey that led us to our daughter, Kavia James.

• 12:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that because I think the pressure you speak about is is so true and it feels like everyone's going through it, but not everyone shares that. And then you think you're the only one. I know. So me and my wife, we've been together for eight years now and married for five. And we constantly get this question of when are you going to give us a child? And that's everyone. You're right. It's not just your family. It's not just people that are in your life. It's it's anyone and everyone you meet. And often it can be, sometimes it can be well intentioned. Sometimes it's just pastime talk, like don't have anything else to talk about. But, you know, for us, when we'd made a very conscious decision that we were trying

• 13:02Jay Shetty?

  to build our lives, we moved country, we moved state, like we moved from London to New York, and then New York to LA, and now we're in LA, and we finally found our feet. You know, for us, the the biggest thing has been just trying to go at our own pace and our own time. And I've also heard of so many friends who've been told when their marriage is rough, they've been given the advice, well, just have another kid and it will work out. And it's almost like using children as an excuse, using children as a mending mechanism, using children as a hope, like this whole process seems to put so much stress and pressure on everyone, what to speak of what you've had to go through on the receiving end of that. And and I appreciate that you're sharing that I really do, because I'm hoping that it's going to make people more mindful

• 13:47Jay Shetty?

  with what we say, especially to women, and it's going to make people more conscious about approaching that conversation. Tell us about, I mean, recently, you did a thing, you cut your hair, and you said on Instagram that most women do big changes like this when things aren't working out, or when things are lost. But you've done it for you when life is going awesome. What have been the biggest changes from that moment we just talked about, which is where the book starts, to today, when you're cutting your hair, you're saying, life's going awesome, like things are moving in the right direction. What have been the biggest changes or shifts that have happened?

• 14:21Speaker 02

  I mean, the biggest shift was the birth of, you know, Kavia James. When they say, no one can be prepared for, you know, motherhood, or the birth of a child, you really can't. You really, you really, really can't. You can read all the books, you can watch all the podcasts, listen to all the podcasts. But every baby is different, every child is different, and they come in like, you know, pretty much who they are. So you're, you feel helpless in a different kind of way, but you're tasked with, you know, guiding and shaping and nourishing and nurturing these lives, but we don't know, because every kid is different. So the handbook that you thought, you know, was, oh, I got the book.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Okay, parenting for dummies, whatever. There is no chapter on your kid, because every kid is different, and you have to get very comfortable with being uncomfortable and not having the answer. So that has been a big shift, because I liken myself a learned person. I love, I love education, I love learning, I love, you know, traveling and learning new ways of doing things, new ideas, but yet there's nothing that can prepare you for how vulnerable and clueless you feel. I have never asked for more help than I ever have since she's been born.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  I've never relied on this many people, probably since I was an infant. And I feel it's not normal for me, I'm out of sorts, but I had to get used to the new normal and being okay with embracing my vulnerability as my superpower. And I had a lot, a lot of therapy, you know, a lot of therapy to, to just work through so many of these new changes. And then, you know, Cobb's a year, you know, year and a half, she's talking, she's moving, she's, you know, got her little crew of little toddler friends, and oh, wait, it's a global pandemic, and now we are all in the house together.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  And, you know, sometimes when each person sort of works outside of the home, you, you have an idea of people's parenting styles, you know, and work styles. Um, but when you have to work, you know, study, uh, parent, um, socialize all at the same place at the same time, um, you learn a lot about each other. Um, and I had to get to know Dwayne's parenting style and he had to get to know mine. Um, turns out as much as I am like kind of a by the book, super anal person, I'm more of a, I mean, what's really the huh? Okay. Okay. She's gonna be in her pajamas all day. Who cares?

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Who cares? And he's like, I care. I care a lot. I care a lot. So, you know, just getting,

• 17:24Speaker 02

  sharing space all together, you know, that's never been our life. I've had a very sort of transient life since, uh, my last couple semesters of college. I have been an actor, you know, going where the work has taken me. So I've never had to really be home like that or like this. Um, you know, dealing with my parents, uh, siblings, our children. You know, it was more in and out, you know, I had like spot treatments of parenting, not like, ooh, 24 seven. Okay. Oh no, you're still here. All right. Um, that has been a big transition.

• 18:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  And how to extend grace and receive it has been a huge transition.

• 18:10Jay Shetty?

  That's, that's beautiful. I, I love how you talk about, you know, it's almost like inviting and receiving kaviya. James is such a beautiful spiritual, you know, incredible experience in the way you talk about in the book. And I hope that everyone who's listening will, will go and read that section because it's. It's so amazing to hear just how with grace, grace is the right word, you just said it about how you felt. What would you say has been the biggest thing you've learned about Dwayne at this time? And what do you think is the biggest thing you've learned about yourself during this time because of Kaviya James? What have been the big learnings about him and about yourself?

• 18:45Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, there's, there's, we talk about this also in the book. Um, you know, cause Dwayne, obviously, you know, he, he played in the NBA for 16 years and, you know, he moved. Um, though we don't like to talk about those Chicago, that Chicago year and the, you know, the Cleveland few months. Um, you know, he was in the NBA for 16 years and our whole schedules revolved around his schedule and making sure that he had everything he needed to be comfortable and successful and for him to thrive. Um, and when he retired, he was like, babe, now it's your turn. And I discovered, um, because most of my work that I do has been away from home.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  They have no idea what it takes for me to be successful, what it takes for me to be comfortable, what it takes for me to thrive. So I've had to be, I've had to learn how to communicate my needs and manage expectations. Um, because our world as a family, um, revolved around Dwayne's NBA schedule and his, you know, his games, his practices, the countless, you know, therapists and specialists and trainers and this, that and the other, we all had to revolve around him. And so when he said, it's your turn, I took that pretty literally because I definitely thought, oh, awesome. Oh, this is gonna be amazing. And, and it really wasn't.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  They never saw what it took, you know, they didn't come to my sets and like, we all go to his games, you know, we know, we know what his greatness looks like. Um, we can see him on TV, but, you know, my, my projects, they don't come out for a year later or whatever. So, and they've never been on set. So they just had no idea. And it, you know, it kind of culminated in this day where I had Zooms back to back. You know, I'm struggling, I'm struggling. I see him walk by and I'm like, oh, yo, can you, can you get me a glass of water, please? And he goes, I don't work for you.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Come again.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  And I'm thinking, I didn't work for you either, but like, I did what was necessary. I did what was on my heart. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't realize we were keeping track. I didn't. And you had, I had to realize like, oh, support looks different. Real different. And when it's, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to speak in generalities. But a lot of times I've, I've heard a lot of women relate to this. That when it's, when it's, you know, the man's turn to return the favor.

• 21:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  It just looks a lot different. And where they feel like put out, or y'all, you know, a lot of men feel put out and like they're losing or they're being weak by helping, by being an active participant in their household and in child rearing and in, you know, um, you know, marital support, um, or relationship support. It, they're, they receive it amazing, but when it's time to give, it, it somehow feels differently.

• 21:53Jay Shetty?

  Right.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  And getting through those challenges without me, um, you know, smothering him with the pillow, uh, has been a challenge.

• 22:05Jay Shetty?

  Thank you for being so honest because it's, again, I, I think you're speaking about something that every single person experiences in, in one way or another. And you know, what, what's remarkable is obviously that even though that may have been the transition point of now it's your turn. You were still having an incredibly successful career during that time and you were still doing amazing things. And you know, it's almost like one wouldn't know that everything was revolving around his, his basketball career because it's not like you weren't winning too. Uh, but it's amazing to see how much that would have taken for you to balance. And then finally, when it comes back, how do you have that conversation? What you just shared with me is so beautiful and you know, as, uh, as a married man who I'm, I'm trying to be,

• 22:50Jay Shetty?

  uh, what I would hope my, my mom would be proud of me being because she raised me and she was an amazing mom and I've seen. My mom like run a household and work way harder than anyone around. And so I've always felt the need to want to support. So I'm always trying my best. How do you have that conversation with your partner? And how do our listeners have that conversation with their partner? Where it doesn't become this give and take demand, but it actually starts to, you know, we know there's no ideal, but how does it start to become a healthier space of collaboration if that even exists? How do you get there? And what, what do you do to try shifting that direction?

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Well, listen, I'm not even gonna front like it was easy because my instinct was be like, are you kidding me? You know, and then, and then it's an argument, but I'm still thirsty. I still don't have the water. You know what I mean? So I had to be like, I love you and that hurt me. And I want to figure out how to talk to you about this so we can figure out how to navigate this. Which I totally read somewhere, not even gonna pretend like I came up with that, but this idea of when you're like, you want to do that? I love you. What that was, was not ideal and it, and it hurt me.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  But is there a way that we can come up with something together that we're both okay with? Uh, totally works. Um, but I can't take credit for it. Uh, but it's super effective. But if you lead with love, and it's like, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not trying to squash you. I'm not, as my husband says, cut your balls off. I'm, I'm trying to figure out how we, how we can move through this world together. Not one walking in front of the other, dragging them behind, or you know, um, one person sort of dictating to the other, but how do we walk side by side? Each of us getting enough of what we need. Um, and a lot of that just boils down to

• 24:56Speaker 02

  use your words, like we tell the talker, use your words. That tantrum is cute. I think I know what you're talking about. You gotta use your words. Calm down. Take a time out if needed. Use your words.

• 25:09Speaker 02

  And let's come back to this. And it's been night and day. And but a lot of it is, as women, we are conditioned to be nurturers. We are conditioned to be trauma and emotional and physical labor mules. That is just what our lot in light it like lot in life is. And that's how we're deemed a good woman, good woman. You know, based on like how much we can take, basically, none of it. None of there's not a lot of upside on that. But men are judged by, do you provide? That's it. Do you provide? But in our household, we both provide. We both bought this house. So Mama is going to work and Mama needs some things too.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  So this is what I need.

• 25:56Jay Shetty?

  I want you to know, Gabrielle, that everything you're saying is resonating. We have a bunch of my team who are some of them, which are men producing this show right now. And they're all nodding, laughing, agreeing. You are you're connecting. So everything you're saying is is resonating with not just me, but but a lot of the guys who are listening right now as well. And I I think that's so true. One of the things that I've always tried to think of it as is, do I really see myself spending the rest of my life with this person? And if I do, is what I'm about to say in this moment, how I want them to feel potentially for the rest of our life? Because they could, they could take this moment and they could never let go of it. If it really hurts them, if if I really say something insensitive,

• 26:39Jay Shetty?

  my wife could think about this for the next 10, 20, 30 years because it hurts her so deeply. And that's going to ruin the next 10, 20, 30 years of my own life. So even if it's selfish, it's it's a great reflection of being honest and just being like, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this person, if I'm going to wake up in bed next to them next week and next year, do I want them to feel that this is how I feel about them? And and you know, that's been something that's really helped me where I'm always trying to like, fast forward into the future and go, how does how does me saying this right now? Because it's comfortable, make my right life really uncomfortable in the future?

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Oh, listen, my my, the first, my first marriage, because there's been more than one.

• 27:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  You know, we were at our our marriage, you know, therapist, um, putting in that last ditch effort. And she said to me, You know, you seem to be very focused on, you know, winning and losing and who's a winner, who's a loser. Um, you do realize in order for a marriage to be successful, you need to both win. So, you know, some days you're gonna win, some days he's gonna win, some days you're gonna lose, you know, vice versa. But you really seem to be very focused on making your husband a loser. And I'm like, yeah.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  Oh, the problem is not working. Um, I think I would have gotten that lesson, but it's like, you know, I come from sports, just like he comes from sports. And it's like, we don't play that. You get a freaking trophy just for showing up. Like, that's no like, like, you know, I don't know if you guys saw the, the two Olympians who, you know, went out with like a, like a shared gold medal. No, not in this house. We're gonna play till the bitter end. You know, I want Megan Rapinoe taking my PK. Like, listen, that's just what it is, right? Um, I want a winner, I want a loser, and you're gonna take this L. Um, but I have to always remember, if I want a successful marriage, I can't want you to be a loser in this. So you have to reprioritize if you want

• 28:43Speaker 02

  success. Do you want to win? Or do you want to be successful? Because those two things don't always go together.

• 28:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I think that's really well said. How does that translate, that energy and that spirit translate to the kids? Because I, I, how, how are they taking that on? How are they taking on both of your competitive spirits, uh, but also understanding the difference between success and winning? How are you, how are you working that through?

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Oh, they look at us like we're nuts. Um, they're, they're in that younger generation where it's not about winning, it's the experience, it's the journey. Like, that's cute. Um, what? You know, like, it's a whole different generation where it's not about the outcome, it's about, you know, your path. It's about, you know, are you a good person? Are you compassionate? Are you a good global citizen? And I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, but who won? And they're like, that's not, not what's important. So, you know, we have to catch up to them, you know? Um, it's definitely our generation and, you know, the older generation that is like, no, you pansies, like, no, you, somebody's gotta win, you know? And they just don't subscribe to that, you know? At all.

• 29:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I wonder, I wonder whether we're gonna find somewhere in the middle where it's like, we've realized that people can win compassionately, or succeed empathetically, or be number one, but do it to serve. Like, I wonder whether we're gonna meet in the middle somewhere, which, which almost feels like the right blend of those two worlds of like, well, maybe we can have winners that are the most compassionate, and they're doing it for others, and they're the most humble, and it's like the paradox of embracing both of the polarities that seem like opposites, but actually, what, what if people could be both of them, right? Like, how amazing would that be? And I think those are the kind of winners we love, and those are the kind of humans we love.

• 30:31Jay Shetty?

  So, uh, yeah, let's, let's, let's try and bring them closer together. Let's see if we can, uh, we can pull them closer.

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Child shall lead you, and ours are leading us, and we are, you know, begrudgingly following behind, um, you know, but yeah, it's, but that's what it's about, you know? When I saw those two Olympians sharing the gold and sharing the podium, that's what sport is supposed to be about, building community, working together, you know, for the greater good of learning how to, you know, have teamwork, learning, you know, everyone working together for a greater goal. It's, it shouldn't always be about me, me, me. Um, but, you know, I came from the Bobby Knight school of, you know, you know, like, I'm like, why are we out here? It's hot. Like, I wanna win. Like, what, otherwise, go read a book.

• 31:19Jay Shetty?

  I love it.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  It's okay to evolve.

• 31:22Jay Shetty?

  Yes, absolutely. I love that. Talking, talking about books, I spoke about earlier that you and Dwayne wrote a children's book called Shady Baby. And I was fascinated because the baby's superpower is shade. And, and I wanted to understand that. I wanted you to explain that to us. Uh, for anyone who's, who's not read the book yet, uh, Shady Baby is the, the children's book that you put together. Yeah, tell us about why the superpower is shade.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, so for many children, the way they're able to communicate is through body language, right? Um, when you lack the language, and you lack the vocabulary to fully articulate whatever, whatever it is that you like, don't like, um, are uncomfortable with, something is hurting, whatever. Um, when you lack the language, you gotta rely on body language. So Kavya James came out, the, you know, arrived, like...

• 32:14Speaker 02

  You know, very clear. She didn't like certain things, you know. You know, they tell you, you gotta put your, you know, your, you know, support the baby's head and their neck. And Cobb was like, my neck is good. Like, I don't know what you guys are used to. But like, from jump, she was just very, you know. And as she got older, you know, we, and we started calling her Shady Baby because she would have the, the, these looks that were just like, you know, um, so we just kind of called her Shady Baby. But as she got a little older, we realized that so many girls of color, starting from a very young age, are adultified. They are not given agency over their ways of communicate, of communicating. So, most children aren't just gonna be shady for no reason. They're trying to communicate to you.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  I don't like that. I don't want that. Um, that is harmful to me in some kind of way. Um, and so instead of looking at shade as a negative, just listen and watch for your children communicating with you. So we wanted to show shade as a superpower. We're giving these kids, um, agency back to communicate in whatever way they, they are able to, to let us know what they like and don't like and, and, um, and that we can use shade as, as just another, uh, way of communicating.

• 33:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's such a great message for children because they're just trying to find the simplest, easiest way of telling you how they feel. Uh, because for so many people, we just look at shade negatively, like you said, we, we think of it how an adult would use shade. But for a child, they're just trying to find the simplest, easiest way to express and communicate to you what they're going through and what they're experiencing. And so, I, I really like that line of messaging. Going back to your book, uh, You Got Anything Stronger. When I was reading in the second chapter, I believe it was, and you talk about, you know, religiously watching The Last Dance, which by the way, I loved as well. Me and my wife watched it together. My wife isn't even a sports fan. She's not a

• 34:14Jay Shetty?

  basketball, uh, she likes basketball, but she's not a massive sports fan. And we loved it and she would watch every episode with me because of how incredible it was, uh, to watch. But you talk about how that reminded you of a, you know, s- I mean, I, I don't even have the words to really describe what you experienced and I don't even want to try. But your rape experience at nineteen years old.

• 34:37Jay Shetty?

  And you've said, you talk about in the book, you're like, I've talked about this, but people are still like, wait, what? They don't recognize because you, you're someone who's gone on to achieve incredible things and make a difference in the world and you're going off to change legislation and policy and you're, you're working so hard for it. Can you share with us how you look back on that experience now as the years have passed? And, and how you've been able to reconcile or contextualize it for yourself in, in, or in, in whatever you have or haven't. I just wanna hear about your thoughts as you look back on it now. And the way you describe in the book, again, everyone, I highly recommend you need to go and read it in the book, but I'd love to ask Gabrielle now.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, so just to give a little brief backstory, just to catch folks up who, who hadn't heard the story before. At 19 years old, I was working, you know, a summer job at, at Payless Shoe Source in my community that I grew up in, up in the Bay Area of, you know, California. And around closing time, a man came in and, you know, robbed the store. And during the commission of the robbery, he forced me and my coworker into the back area and then raped me at gunpoint. And at some point, put down the gun during the rape. And I grabbed it, turned around, tried to shoot him. I missed. And then we

• 36:01Speaker 02

  had a battle for the, for the gun. And then he just proceeded to just pummel me, pummel me, pummel me. And then he ultimately, you know, escaped. So the time I'm talking about in our, in our book is one of the only saving graces that I had that summer of 1992 was watching the Olympics and the Dream Team. You know, we've had a number of incarnations of, you know, Dream Team, Redeem Team, this, that and the other, but the original Dream Team, where we were coming back to claim our dominance in international basketball. And you had, you know, we were fresh off of Magic Johnson, you know, revealing to

• 36:46Speaker 02

  the world that he was HIV positive, you know, had, you know, we were at the height of Michael Jordan's, you know, fame. And those guys, you know, moving through the Olympic Village and through the Olympics, just, you know, pummeling, you know, folks, but just full display, full peacock of black excellence. When I felt like nothing and I, I needed some kind of lifeline. I needed, I felt like I was drowning in plain sight and everyone was walking by me with life preservers, but nobody wanted to throw me one.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  And those Olympians, um, Magic, MJ, Gail Devers, I mean, they threw me a lifeline. In watching their stories and watching their excellence, knowing all the things that they were battling and still persevering. It gave me that lifeline because as often I've told the story about being raped. And then I kind of move into, but now I'm a survivor and these are the things that I did. But I had never addressed that in-between stage where I was just beaten and in shock, numb.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  I couldn't look at myself in the mirror because I didn't, I mean, I was, you know, beaten beyond recognition.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  I had just started therapy, like I started therapy, thank God, like a few days after my rape. But that in-between stage of how do you get from or get on the path from victim to survivor? That in-between stage, I call it my ghost stage. Where I was a ghost of myself, um, kind of haunting my house that everyone just kind of

• 38:38Speaker 02

  let slide around and no one really addressed me or dealt with me. It was just kind of like, ah, I got nothing. I don't even know what to say. No one knew what to say. I didn't know what to say. But something about watching the, these Olympics and watching these Olympians be so unapologetically black and so unapologetically excellent and being open about their struggles.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Helped me get on the path to being a survivor. And it was, I didn't, I never really realized or recognized the importance of that time. Because it's important in the story, if I'm gonna tell it, that people know it wasn't fast. There were, there were many moments where I was a ghost of myself.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  But it's okay to acknowledge that part of the journey.

• 39:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  People, you can't, you can't skip over steps when we talk about, you know, being survivors. There's a lot of steps and I traditionally had skipped over some of the more painful ones.

• 39:47Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that again, Gabrielle. I really appreciate that. And for, for our, you know, for our community and our audience today who's listening and watching to, to hear it from you is, is, is so profound. It truly is. And, and you talk about how you like, you were looking for heroes on the TV screen. Like that's what you were looking for. And, and I love that statement because I feel like that's often where we look, when we can't find it inside of ourselves, when we can't find it around us, we, we look outside, we look around, we look, you know, beyond our initial community. And I wonder how many people now look to you and, and Dwayne, there's their, you know, heroes on a screen and, and, and people in their world, and especially as you write books like you do and share the stories that you're sharing with people, like,

• 40:32Jay Shetty?

  people are gonna need, you know, you're, you're doing that, you're passing that, you're paying that forward. And, and I love, I love witnessing that and seeing how what you were looking for is what you're able to be. And you're not even trying to be that. It's just happening because you're sharing these stories. And you talk about how you had to embrace your vulnerability, embrace your kryptonite. Tell us, because the way you share in the book, on even in this interview, and this is the first time we've met, just for anyone who knows, you know, we've never met before, we've never spoken before. Tell us about your experience with the shaman and, and that journey towards embracing your kryptonite. Because I think that vulnerability today, as many words have, have become a buzzword.

• 41:15Jay Shetty?

  And often vulnerability is still curated and, and we're not, but you seem to have this very, I'm not going to say effortless, because I think there's effort there, but it's. It's a very raw form of vulnerability. Can you, can you explain to us maybe the different levels and layers of vulnerability that you've experienced in getting to where you are?

• 41:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I had always looked at the word, let's not even get into the meaning, but the word as like, ooh, not me. But because to be vulnerable is to open yourself up for pain and harm. And it's to be openly weak is how I thought about it. And so there was nothing about any part of that I wanted on me. I wanted to be seen as strong and independent and resilient and, and, and just a, just, you know, my work ethic can override anything. I can achieve my way, you know, to wherever. I can price my way out of things. I can educate

• 42:20Speaker 02

  myself out of things. I don't ever have to be weak. I don't, I never have to be vulnerable because I don't want anything else to happen to me. And that's just how I've moved through the world. Cut to, you know, when life keeps throwing you challenges, at some point I ran into a brick wall and I was like, perhaps I should stop trying to run into this brick wall and look for other ways around. Whether that be therapists, shamans, you know, Brené Brown, Brené Brown, you know, Glennon Doyle, you know, people who, who speak on these things

• 43:02Speaker 02

  in a way that I had never heard spoken. And it, and it was easy to apply. They didn't make it sound like, as my mother says, woo woo. No, are they doing the woo woo? And I'm like, okay, well, it's new age, do you mean? So it didn't feel like that. It just felt clear. And I was like, oh, so, you know, in talking to the shaman, he was like, you seem to run away from your femininity. And he's like, I'm not talking about a gender expression. I'm talking about what makes women amazing and unique. You seem to look

• 43:46Speaker 02

  at all of that as inherent weakness. What if what you think is weakness?

• 43:57Speaker 02

  What if those are actually your strengths? What if being vulnerable and open to looking at the world in a different way, moving through the world in a different way, approaching problem solving in a different way, was actually, you know, your superpower? What if? I was like, that sounds like, you know. He's like, just start practicing. Anytime you feel the urge to do something that women would typically do, don't fight it.

• 44:34Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 44:37Speaker 02

  I'm like, whatever. And I started noticing that I'm definitely not on the, um, the girly girl, you know, uh, side of things.

• 44:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  Kind of, you know, on a cool continuum that's kind of has a cool balance of male female energy. But what he meant was when you feel vulnerable, when you feel, um, like your emotions are going to be readily available on your face. Don't try to hide. Don't try to cover it. Just be. And so a situation came up, you know, where I can, you start to feel it in your throat and in your eyes and you're like, don't you, don't you drop? I was like, let's just see what happens.

• 45:32Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Nothing happened. And better than nothing, nothing negative happened. The world didn't end. No one used that against me. I was understood, finally.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  And I allowed people to see me, which then allowed them to understand me and then they can better communicate with me. Um, but I had to use um, my words and I had to be okay with not being okay.

• 46:03Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  And um, putting my heart out there.

• 46:06Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  And when I tell you I've never looked back, um, there are still of course times where I'm like, okay, they're gonna use this against me. They're gonna absolutely use this against me. Kind of like how I feel about like releasing my book into the world. Um. I don't know if there's enough therapy, you know, on the planet to really prepare you for basically handing your truth off to millions of people and hope they, you know,

• 46:32Speaker 02

  rock your baby to sleep. Um, it feels like tossing your baby into a crowd of, you know, wild hyenas. But I'm, all I can do is be me and tell the truth and lead with vulnerability and transparency and hope that I'm building community where there had been none or very little.

• 46:54Jay Shetty?

  Where people needed the most, you know, where, where the people that need it the most are going to gravitate towards it and going to be attracted towards it and, and find it to be useful and purposeful. No, that's, that, that makes a lot of sense and it's uh, yeah, I, I agree with you. I mean, you know, there's, there's parts of your life that you always want to be private, of course, and, and privacy is also important and security is important as well and but there are parts of your life that you'll only ever fully uncover if you're vulnerable about them. And I think that, that balance and figuring it out individually, again, like you said earlier, like you said, hey, when you have a child, no child's the same. It's like, well, all of our inner childs are not the same and the, the work that we need to do with vulnerability and privacy are not the same either. And so,

• 47:37Jay Shetty?

  I, I think taking that more tailored curated approach uh, to seeing what we need and how we could slowly peel away and open up is, is so important and you know, helping Zaya do that must have been extremely, you know, uh, an, an amazing journey to be on with her. And, and I love how you talk about how in the book, how you're not rewriting your, your history together, but you're respecting um, her wishes and, and, and who she is. I, I want you to share that journey with us as a parent and also Dwayne's perspective too, because the way, the way you describe in the book, Is gonna help so many people who have that very limited viewpoint of I don't know if I could do anything to accept.

• 48:22Jay Shetty?

  And by the way, I have many, we have many friends, family friends, even in the South Asian community. It's, it's, uh, you know, it's off, these things are just often not spoken about. And, and often kids live with shame for many years. And, you know, to the extent of obviously kids taking their own lives and it going really too far. And so I want to hear as a parent, how you both processed and understood and have, and have turned into a beautiful opportunity for all of you to thrive.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, well, our responses certainly initially were, you know, pretty different, just based on our, our life experience. And me being older than him by, you know, uh, almost 10 years, um, I've just been on the planet a little bit longer. And, uh, you know, I, I work in a different kind of industry, but I was lucky enough to be born into a family where, you know, when we moved from Omaha, Nebraska, uh, to the Bay Area, my mom was like, yes, I've always raised you girls to have a world perspective and not a town perspective. But now I can show you more of, of the world and all the different, you know, communities.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  And, uh, at eight years old, she took us to our first, uh, gay pride parade in San Francisco.

• 49:40Speaker 02

  She bought us little buttons that said, straight, but not narrow minded.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  So it just was never really, um, she never presented it as a negative thing. It's just, uh, just like we, you know, in the black community, you know, this is the black community. These are just other communities and they're all awesome. And we should learn as much as we can about them so we can know how best to respect, respect them. And, um, you know, do more than just, um, uh, you know, what's the word, um, when people tolerate. Folks, you can celebrate people and you can, let's, let's get all, let's all invite everybody to this party. It's a good freaking time. And so I was very lucky to be raised by parents who, who moved that way. Um, and Dwayne, you know, coming from, you know, the South Side of Chicago and, you know, having a mother who's now a pastor.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  Um, you know, it was, it was a different experience, um, in terms of the LGBTQ plus community. And those things were A, never spoken about. And if they were, it was in to condemn. Um, you know, hateful, you know, jokes, um, but just, just scorn, a lot of scorn. So, you know, when I came into the picture, uh, and Zaya was still a toddler, I was like, oh, okay. I figured she, and I, I will refer to her as Zaya, even though she went by another name at that time. I recognize she might be part of the community, but you know, see how this plays out.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  And Dwayne was like, no, no, no, uh-uh, no, no, no, no, no. And then Zaya came out in third grade in Chicago. And, you know, but by that time, Zaya's been Zaya. She's been very consistent. You know, in who she is and how she moves through the world. She's been very consistent. Whether you want to see it or not, she's been very consistent. And she's basically been like, are you guys, have you guys caught up yet? And so by the time she came out, you know, not that Dee had all the answers or I had all the answers. We, we, you know, we were aware enough that, okay, this is her truth. Um, and then we wanted to make sure that our home, um, and anywhere that we were, that we had control over anyway,

• 51:59Speaker 02

  was a sanctuary and stayed a sanctuary. And so we gave her the agency of, of saying, telling us, who do you want to know? Who do you, who do you not want to know? And she made up this list called the never ever list of all the people she did not want to, to us to tell or her to tell. Um, and then by the end of the night, everyone had flown off the never ever list because she got such great responses. And it was kind of like, okay, cool. Yeah. All right. Um, so by the time, you know, seventh grade rolled around and she was like, and I asked her, you know, I go speak to all of her schools as, you know, we enroll the kids. I speak to all of their teachers and administrators. And I'm like, here's the thing, want to make sure that we have a strong

• 52:39Speaker 02

  LGBTQ plus community that she's welcome into. Um, you know, want to make sure just everyone's, you know, on point with everything and there's, I don't have to come up here with, you know, letting people have it because I will. And, um, you know, not say I'm proud of this, but there might've been a priest that was fired, um, for, you know, not being on the right side of history.

• 53:01Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  So I'm not afraid to, you know, confront things, but, um, so I asked Zaya, hey, going up to the school, you know, how do you want me to, you know, identify you? And she was like, you know, after back and forth, well, I'm a straight trans girl. I was like, okay.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Yep. Perfect. Okay. Start to leave. Then I'm like, oh, um, what name do you want to go by? And she was like, Zaya. Hey, pronouns? She was like, I was like, there are options. Pronouns, like which pronouns? She was like, she and her. Thank you. And I was like, okay, well, just want you to know that I know that there are other options.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  And, but she just, you know, I go up to the school and I'm like, I don't even know what their reaction's going to be. And they're like, okay, great. Yeah, no problem. Change the name here. No problem. Ba, ba, ba. You know, we've, we've, you know, you're not our first family. You won't be our last. And we just want to make sure that Zaya feels comfortable and she's prepared and, and set up to, and to succeed in school. And I'm like, okay. Has it been that easy for every single space or person? Hell no.

• 54:16Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 54:17Speaker 02

  But if you can't come into our home and love and accept and embrace and, you know, um, you know, celebrate everyone in here, then you're not welcome in here.

• 54:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 54:29Speaker 02

  And, um,

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Everyone has been, you know, wonderful. There's been some learning curves, but Zaya takes everything in stride. Like she gave us a year to make sure that we got her pronouns right.

• 54:42Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  Which, she was like, I recognize that, you know, it's a hard thing to switch. So you guys have a year.

• 54:49Jay Shetty?

  Wow. That's incre- that's incredibly like, that's, that's so mature and so kind and so like, that's amazing. That, what a, what a phenomenal, Zaya's amazing. That's, that, that requires so much patience. That's really special. And grace, and grace, yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  She receives it from us and everyone else and she extends it as well. But, you know, it, there have been, you know, challenges, you know, to that. And, and we've had parents who said, I just don't now know how to love them.

• 55:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  How do I love them? You know, and when you're looking at the statistics of the suicide rates in the LGBTV plus community, but specifically for trans kids and trans people of color, those rates, you know, quadruple. And her life is not up for debate. Your child's life is not up for debate. Their identity is not up for debate. They are who they are. And it is our job to love them and nurture them and respect them and guide them. Um, and love them so fiercely to offer as much, you know, insulation as we can, because the world has not been as kind. And that is our job.

• 56:07Jay Shetty?

  So, so beautifully said Gabrielle. And it's, uh, yeah, it's amazing to hear how much love and grace has come out in this conversation, just from your spirit and your energy. And we've been laughing and, you know, we've, we've been, we've been having a good time too, but I feel like there's just so many deep underlying messages. I know that we've taken up so much of your time today, but I, I want to end with a few final questions. Uh, I wanted to ask you what you see as your, your current focus, purpose, uh, and, and drive right now. Like what is it at this stage in your life? I mean, you know, in your book, there are so many, I mean, just for anyone who's listening or watching, we have talked about like a tiny amount of what's, what's inside this incredible book. We've just scratched the surface, but

• 56:51Jay Shetty?

  all of these life experiences, where have they got you to right now? Like what is your current purpose, drive, ambition, focus, uh, that gets you up in the morning right now?

• 56:59Speaker 02

  To put other people on, like I, I used to love, you know, getting the call, you got the job. And I'm like, yes. But nothing to me, you know, compares to professionally hearing that I've been a part of getting someone else on, you know, getting someone else a job, getting someone else an opportunity, helping someone else create their dreams, being able to do that through our production company. Um, even, even through, through, through shows like this, it's, it's about building community so we can share resources, we can share opportunities, you know, um, there is something about hoard, you know, hoarding all the food on your plate, where your plate is just stacked and overflowing and you look around and other people have nothing.

• 57:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:43Speaker 02

  That, none of that feels good to me.

• 57:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  Um, so any, any, anything I'm doing at this point is about creating more for everyone.

• 57:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  I want us all to win. I want us all to eat. I want us all to be healed and healthy and, and not feel alone. Um, so when I get information, I share it.

• 58:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  And, um, you know, and, and also when I'm, when I hit roadblocks, I'll share it. Cause just as I share, you know, some of my solutions and the way I've, and my paths, um, I'm so open to hearing other ways of getting from A to B.

• 58:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  But you gotta be open to do that.

• 58:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Gabrielle, that's beautiful. Thank you so much for your time today. Uh, we end every On Purpose episode with a fast five, so each question has to be answered in one word or one sentence maximum. Uh, so Gabrielle Union, these are your five, fast five. Uh, first question, what is the best advice you've ever received?

• 58:41Speaker 02

  It's okay to say, I don't know.

• 58:43Jay Shetty?

  Great. Uh, question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever received?

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Snuggles is dead, now what?

• 58:50Jay Shetty?

  Okay. Question number three, how would you, how do you tell whether you're feeling like a good parent or not?

• 58:57Speaker 02

  I guess by how big the wine glass is. You know how big the wine glass is at the end of the day.

• 59:05Jay Shetty?

  That's a great answer. All right. Question number four. What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months?

• 59:11Speaker 02

  That I don't have all the answers.

• 59:13Jay Shetty?

  Great. And question number five. If you can make one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 59:20Speaker 02

  At the moment, to get vaccinated.

• 59:22Jay Shetty?

  Amazing. Gabrielle Union, everyone. Gabrielle, thank you so much for your time. Thank you to your team. And for anyone who's been listening or watching, make sure you go and grab a copy of the book. We'll have the link in the comments and the caption. And for anyone else who's been listening or watching, make sure you tag both me and Gabrielle on Instagram. And let us know what were the parts that stood out, the parts that resonated. I hope that you're going to share this with a family member, a friend who's experienced some of the things that Gabrielle's been talking about. Or some of the things that would move them and improve their life. Gabrielle, thank you for joining us on On Purpose, and I look forward to meeting you in person.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  No, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

• 59:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Thanks so much for sharing your soul. I really appreciate it.

• 1:00:06Speaker 04

  Oh my goodness, I have been waiting for this day. Jay and I are so excited to announce that this fall, we will be launching our very own hot tea brand called, drumroll please, Sama. Herbal tea has been part of my daily rituals for such a long time now. I choose different teas throughout the day, depending on how my body feels, my mood, my intention. It's really the first thing that I drink in the morning and the last thing that I drink at night. Luckily, Jay is exactly the same, so we have a moment together every morning, every night, sipping on tea. Over the last year, having a ritual that brings a little moment of peace, comfort, and presence has been so important.

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  It reminds me of being at home with my family in London, sitting by the fire, laughing, sipping on tea, which is a feeling I have been missing a lot. It's been hard to find that feeling of comfort and of acceptance in the chaos lately. But honestly, a cup of tea has most definitely helped. There's so much more I want to share with you, but for now, go ahead and sign up today at sama tea.com. And enter to win a signed, limited edition sampler box full of vibrant, delicious, fantastic teas that will inspire moments of mindfulness.

• 1:01:23Speaker 03

  Ally here with cash when you need it. Like when your stylist just did the most. Fresh cut and zero cash. Don't be in... Ally has 75,000 fee-free ATMs nationwide. So you're never without cash. Ally Bank Member FDIC.

• 1:01:38Speaker 05

  Mr. President, my company foreme of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:01:47Speaker 06

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess and Digger's gonna dig us out. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:01:55Speaker 07

  What would happen if I stopped going? You stall, you freeze in there, that's what.

• 1:01:59Speaker 06

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:02:02Speaker 07

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:02:03Speaker 06

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.

• 1:02:08Speaker 08

  Espolone Tequila. Balanced, delicious. 100% acave, 0% ego. Just add ice, lime, and your mouth. For real margarita, ride the rooster.

• 1:02:18Speaker 06

  Espolone Tequila, 40% alcohol by volume, 80 proof. Copyright 2026, Compaq America, New York, New York. Drink responsibly.