Transform Your Identity w/ Bob Harper

He hosted The Biggest Loser on television, but BOB HARPER is a BIG WINNER when it comes to being one of the most recognizable fitness experts today. In this week’s episode, you’re going to get a big dose of TRUTH from Bob about battling obesity and LEADING A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE. We’re going to talk about how you can make changes in your life, both mentally and physically, so you can better PROTECT YOURSELF and find your peak state, especially when it comes to CARDIAC HEALTH. Bob is a successful author who has written three New York Times bestsellers. He has also educated countless people through his series of DVDs on working out and staying healthy and is a personal trainer to the stars, with clients such as ELLEN DEGENERES and JENNIFER JASON LEIGH. But one of the most fascinating and unexpected chapters in Bob’s life was his well-publicized heart attack in 2017 at age 52. Despite outwardly being the picture of perfect health, Bob goes into detail about how he almost succumbed to that near-fatal attack. In fact, HE FLATLINED FOR NINE MINUTES and spent two days in a coma before eventually recovering. As you might imagine, that traumatic event deeply affected his psyche and his CORE IDENTITY. That led to a lot of SOUL SEARCHING and some dramatic changes in Bob’s life. Bob talks about dealing with PTSD, EMOTIONAL TURMOIL, and PIVOTING to find a NEW SENSE OF SELF. Every one of us has faced life-changing moments like this or will soon enough. That’s what makes our conversation PERSONAL, ESSENTIAL, AND COMPELLING. I want you to listen and reflect on how something like this applies to you. We also talk about practical ways to think about and achieve meaningful weight loss. Hint…it all starts in your HEAD before you see results in your WAIST! Bob and I also get into building GOOD HABITS, the RIGHT ENVIRONMENT, and SUPPORT TEAM, which are critical elements to losing and keeping weight off. The bottom line is, BOB HARPER knows a lot about HEALING. Listen closely, because he can TEACH you a lot about it, too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ed Mylett?

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• 0:45Ed Mylett?

  Over 20 years in business, over $12 billion deployed to small business across America. Stop letting bank delays slow down your momentum. Head to cardiff.co/ed. That's cardiff.co/ed. Cardiff.co. Real growth, fast funding. Cardiff. Borrow better.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Mr. President, my company, for me, of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess. And Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:18Bob Harper?

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You stop, you freeze to death, that's what.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:25Ed Mylett?

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  This is the Ed Mileage Show.

• 1:39Ed Mylett?

  All right, welcome back to the program, everybody. I'm so excited to have this man here today. You all know who he is. You've seen him. He's one of the biggest health and fitness experts on the planet, New York Times bestselling author. Most of you probably know him from The Biggest Loser. But if you've not been paying attention, there's another little deal here. This guy was dead for nine minutes. How about that? That'll get your attention if you're driving. Yeah, gone for nine, gone for nine minutes. And so we're going to talk today about one of the most interesting stories you're ever going to hear in your life. And then we're going to transition and talk about transformation and change because he's maybe a handful of people on planet earth that are the experts at doing this with human beings and Bob is one of them. So Bob Harper, welcome to the program, brother.

• 2:22Bob Harper?

  I'm glad to be here. Thanks for having me.

• 2:24Ed Mylett?

  I'm thrilled to have you, man. So let's, let's get into the most recent events in your life. So you're one of the fittest dudes on earth, training, you know, five, six, seven days a week. You're known for helping other people get fit. You're at the gym, the workout's about to end and tell us what happens. This is shocking.

• 2:41Bob Harper?

  Well, I'll tell you, what I'm about to tell you are all the stories that were told to me because I don't remember that day. I don't remember getting up that morning, walking my dog. I don't remember going to the gym that day. I remember my friend said that, that I was working out with. He said that I was complaining about being really dizzy and he said that I just seemed kind of out of it. The next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital two days later, being told not only did I have a heart attack, but I had gone into cardiac arrest. And so I'll tell you, that was a really eye opening, jarring experience for me. But it was, I was in the middle of a workout, you know, I was doing CrossFit. I

• 3:22Bob Harper?

  did CrossFit for, for years. I mean, I, I love that style of working out and it was, it was in that CrossFit gym that I just dropped dead on the floor for about nine minutes.

• 3:35Ed Mylett?

  I think sometimes people are listening to like, well, I'm 26 years old. Why does this apply to me? You're going to know why in a minute because there's preventive things you can do. There's some genetic issues for a lot of you. You don't know you have, like I didn't know I had. But I'm curious about, did you have any symptoms prior? Were you having more fatigue than normal, chest pains, you know, anything like that prior to this incident taking place?

• 3:58Bob Harper?

  Looking at me at that time, I was not someone that you would think would be at risk of having a heart attack. You know, you think about, you think about that person that's being overweight, poor diet, smokes, drinks heavily. You know, I was not, I was not any of those. I didn't have any of those qualities. So. What I learned in this situation is that I really need to look at my health from the inside out. And that's what I really try to tell people because it doesn't matter how you look. I mean, I'm looking at you right now with your, you know, jacked arms and looking super fit. And I'm like, you know, what's going on with your, with your health? And you told me you had a heart attack.

• 4:35Ed Mylett?

  Yeah. Yeah. I had a heart issue since I was probably 30 years old. And it's one thing, just for the audience, is like, listen, you're all busy with different parts of your life. Okay. And, you know, if you're overweight, or you've got diabetes, or you smoke, obviously, you know that you're probably, you know, in line for some sort of cardiac issues. But if you're fit, like most of the people that listen to this show, you think, ah, this is an issue, or you're young. Listen, genetics plays a role in this. And you know this as well as I do. Maybe you could even speak to this. There are things people can do in terms of genetic testing right now to find out whether they may be a potential candidate to be at a gym at 50 something early years old and gone for nine minutes of their life. There's genetic testing now, right?

• 5:16Bob Harper?

  Absolutely. I think that it's, it could come down to just getting a simple blood test, right? Like, really knowing your healthcare provider, asking all the right questions, and asking questions that you don't even, you don't even know to ask. It's like, I tell people how important it is to have that kind of relationship with your healthcare provider, because they are the ones that are guiding you into your, into your longevity, right? So it's like, you, I don't claim to be a doctor. I don't have all the answers. But like, I need to be around the people that know all the, the ins and outs of my health.

• 5:51Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, it's obvious that you believe in God, or the universe, or whatever. You were sort of chosen for this. You're like the face of fitness in the country. And then it happens to you after your, and by the way, you were around people helping getting examinations from doctors that were losing all this weight. I just hope everybody hears this. By the way, he has this project he's working on called survivorsheart.com. It's basically these photographs of people that have had these issues. And if you've ever wondered that there's a face of heart issues or cardiac issues, you will quickly find out, there is not one face. There's men, there's women. That's one thing for the ladies listening to, more and more heart diseases affecting women. I think oftentimes, people think this is something that just happens to men because you hear about it. There's two guys talking about it today. You study the data, this number one cause of death

• 6:34Ed Mylett?

  in women now is their heart. And so please get tested. And the other thing on testing, and then I'll let you speak to this. But the testing's a lot better than it used to be. You know, you're gonna, it's not just HDL and LDL. There's big particle, little particle. There's lipoprotein little A. There's all these things that are markers now, guys, that you want to get looked at. Get your labs done. I talk about this all the time on the show. So.

• 6:55Bob Harper?

  Yeah, I had, that was my genetic issue, LP little A.

• 6:59Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 7:00Bob Harper?

  That you just brought up. And that was something that I was not even aware of, didn't know anything about it. And it, it's a simple blood test, but it's one of those things that you've got to ask your doctor about. It's like, you know, you're doing these blood tests on me, you're checking my cholesterol, check my LPA, because that's the issue that I had that still a lot of people don't even know about.

• 7:19Ed Mylett?

  But it's incredible you say that, because that was my issue. That's incredible, because, you know, your average general practitioner, guys, I think they're like, yeah, we'll test your HDL and LDL. There are other things now, and especially this lipoprotein A, that you, you need to know. So now let's see how it affects your life, because I'm just super curious. It's two days later, you wake up, you're like, my people are probably informing you of what happened. What, how did this affect you emotionally?

• 7:45Bob Harper?

  It was really, really difficult, I'll tell you, because imagine, think about whatever it is that really identifies who you are, what makes you just get up in the morning, and it's a reason to live, and it's your driving force in life. That's what health and diet and exercise has always been for me. It's like, you know, I love to go to the gym. I love, that's my community. It's like where I go, and it's my stress reliever. Now, put in the, the most horrific thing that has ever happened to me in that situation. So what happened for me is just dealing with PTSD. Like, am I going to have another heart attack? The fear that I, that I had as I'm walking around, I was afraid to be alone. Like,

• 8:30Bob Harper?

  I, I could not be alone, because if I would have been alone when I had this heart attack, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now. People say, oh, you were able to recover because you were so fit and so healthy. I'm like, no, I'm here today talking to you because there was someone in the gym that day that knew how to perform CPR, that was aware of an AED, that had the persistent. Because the AED wasn't working on me because I had already flatlined and like an AED won't work unless there's some sort of electric current going on with your heart. And so this man, this doctor, who was not even a member of the gym, he was at an event that day. He said that he saw me, I was blue on the ground and he thought, okay, you know what?

• 9:12Bob Harper?

  I am going to do everything that I can. Almost busted my rib cage open when I was, when I came out of the coma, I had pneumonia because they had to put me on ice because what they tried to do is like, okay, am I going to survive? Then they realized I was going to survive, but then they thought, am I going to be the same person? So they had to put me on ice to try to protect my brain with brain swelling. And so, you know, it was, it was really a challenging experience and what I, what I would gather during this time was all the people around me, they were very interested in my physical well being and my physical health, which was absolutely what they needed to do, but it was the emotional turmoil

• 9:57Bob Harper?

  that I was going through too. It was like, who am I if I am not the fitness guy, right? Who am I that, who is this new person that I had to find a completely new normal and it was super challenging.

• 10:10Ed Mylett?

  They used the AEDs on you multiple times, which is, I'm just picturing this, this beautiful soul watching, you know, picturing you, you're fit. For some reason, the visual for me really affects me, just picturing you there and them kind of get you back in the CPR and there's another part of me, Bob, I'm just thinking this is sort of destined to some way to be someone, you had the combination of your notoriety already, so you have a platform. You're already fit, so you're this face of a heart attack that's different for most people. There happens to be the doctor there. You know, this isn't by coincidence that all of these things happened, but I, and I just want to say that to you, just as a friend, as a brother, just like it's got as obvious, the writing's on the wall in hindsight, like everything in life, right?

• 10:52Ed Mylett?

  But at the time, I have to wonder for you, you know, you said it changed you a little bit emotionally. Has it, did it, because like identity, oftentimes a lot of us, Think our identity is tied to what we do.

• 11:03Bob Harper?

  Yes.

• 11:04Ed Mylett?

  Not who we are. And, and, and oftentimes, you know, an athlete of their career is over. They don't know who they are anymore because they can't do that thing anymore.

• 11:12Bob Harper?

  Uh huh.

• 11:13Ed Mylett?

  So I'm, what process did you go through to kind of figure out? Was this like the first time you're like, who am I? But I get the feeling you had done work like that before, but just, I'm curious, what was it like? You're discovering you for the first time?

• 11:25Bob Harper?

  Pretty much because I, I've been in the health and fitness business for what, over 30 years now. I mean, it's like, it is who I am. It is a part of my DNA. So me having this heart attack, I was also very embarrassed, like, uh, one doctor and, um, therapist that I was working with, he had asked me, he's like, give me one word to describe, uh, that, that whole experience. And the, the first word that came to my mind was embarrassed. Like, yeah, how did this happen to me? And I remember, wow, I remember my, my, my team, the people that I've been working with for such a long time. You know, everyone was like, oh my God, is he gonna even have a career anymore after this because of what had happened to me?

• 12:11Bob Harper?

  And I remember just like leaning into it, right? I was an open book during my whole recovery time because imagine this, I wasn't able to do any kind of work, uh, workouts. I was in the hospital for over a week. When I got back, my doctor was like, okay, here's what you can do. You can walk and I was only able to walk around a block without feeling super fatigued and tired. And like, I was coming from doing CrossFit when I was Olympic lifting. I was like a 210 pound guy that was like fit and I loved it. And now like I'm living in like, you know, the, the 170s and I'm having to, to pivot.

• 12:52Bob Harper?

  That's the word that kind of keeps coming to, um, in, into my vocabulary so much of like having to pivot. Because what I can't do anymore is be the person that I was when I was in my twenties, my thirties, or even my forties. It's like, I don't want to keep searching for that dangling carrot. Like it's that, wow, I was able to do all this. Why can't I do this? I'm like, you know what? I can't. And maybe I could if I put the, put the time and, and the effort. But like, it just, it's not interesting to me anymore. I'm like, okay, you know what? I do. I do hot yoga all every day now. I, you know, I ride my bike. I, you know, I do workouts like that and, you know, I feel really good with what I'm doing, but it was just, it was having

• 13:37Bob Harper?

  to kind of come to grips with what had happened to me and, and learning how to pivot and, and not just get stuck because I was pissed. I was pissed that this had happened to me. I, I didn't want to be experiencing this. I was like, you know, I, I always thought, you know, I'm a superhero. I'm in my, I'm in my 50s and I'm like doing these workouts with these, you know, 20 and 30 years old, 30 year old people. And I'm like, you know what? That was part of my identity and, you know, that had to change and it changed really quickly.

• 14:13Ed Mylett?

  Really quick, really dramatically. I wonder about that pivot thing because, man, consciousness, human beings right now, there's more people right now pivoting to some extent in their life than ever at any time on the earth, right? Like either their career ended because of the pandemic or they're shifting or even they're just, their whole outlook on things has changed now that they've had more time to reflect on what matters to them. And I, I get asked this a lot, you know, millions of people listen to this or go to my social media like I'm changing right now. I'm pivoting. Any advice on that? Like how, you know, you had to, it sounds like you had to accept, okay, this is no longer my life. I'm in a new normal. Is there anything beyond that you did? Was it creating a new outcome, a new vision for your life? Or, or was it, what was it that helped you pivot? What did you do?

• 14:59Bob Harper?

  I think that I just relinquished control. I'm a, and that was very hard for me. I am very type A. I am competitive. I, you know, I, I want to compete with not only you, but myself more than anyone and just kind of like relinquish that control and realize, you know what? I can't do everything. I don't have all the answers. I, I want to continue to learn as we move into this, uh, in, in, into this life. And I don't, I feel like if I feel like I've learned everything that I'm supposed to learn, then I need to move on to something else. And so like, my life is like, pushed me into a place where like, I'm learning things all over again. And, and that's exciting.

• 15:42Bob Harper?

  And, and not, not trying to, like I said earlier, not trying to compare myself to what I used to do. I don't want to live in the past. I have no control over the future. What I have control over is right here and right now. And like, and, and that helps me, that helps my, you know, that, that hamster that's in the wheel running around in my brain, you know, it, it, it helps that little hamster in my brain going like this. All right, just chill out. It's going to be okay. And so yoga helps me do that and meditation helps me do that.

• 16:18Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, because being present is so hard for achievers and competitive people. And I think they just grabbed you and went, all right, dude, this is it. We're gonna have to give you a heart attack, cardiac arrest. Yeah. Or you weren't gonna change. And it's interesting, I'm 50 now, and I'm a control nut as well. And I've just sort of started to surrender a little bit that, to the moment. And I've said everybody to this, I've started to just, just a little, I'm still a nut. And I've started to, I've started just to surrender that, you know what, the truth is, a lot of that control I thought I had was a little bit of an illusion. I was winning and being happy in spite of my control freakedness, not because of it. And here's the gift, and you just said it, I'm learning a lot more when I'm not trying to control everything. I'm open to more things. It's

• 17:02Ed Mylett?

  just, there's a more beautiful part of the moment in my life than there ever was before, because I was always just holding on to what I wanted to move and do. And do you feel the same way?

• 17:12Bob Harper?

  Yeah, absolutely. It's like, it's that white knuckle feeling, right? I'm just like, I'm sitting there going like this, I can do this, whatever this is, or whatever it is, I can do it and I'm gonna figure it out. And there's always been this like little phrase that my friends say, say about me, it's like Bob will actually cut his nose off to spite his face. So it's like, you know, having that just, that obsessive type.

• 17:35Bob Harper?

  Thinking and what I really try to do, and it's something that I practice all the time. It's not easy. It's not easy for me to not get twisted about the big things in life or the little things. And I have to make a make a conscious decision. I have to think about it every single day. And when challenges do come up for me and I I see myself kind of like white knuckling it again, I'm like, oh, there's that behavior and just like me acknowledging it. It helps me to release it. Does that make sense?

• 18:09Ed Mylett?

  A big time. That's the best anyone's ever said it. Acknowledging it helps you release it. Because I talk a lot about when you're aware of something, it loses its power and impact over you. But I like the way that you just said that a lot better. I totally agree with that. And by the way, by those of you that are obsessive, I think sometimes, you know, when you get to where Bob and I are at in life, a little bit older, you know, it's a different season, too. Some of you that are in your twenties and thirties and doing something to your life, maybe maybe that obsessiveness, that control thing, maybe at that stage and that season is appropriate for where you are now.

• 18:41Bob Harper?

  Absolutely. It's like I think about when I started working on loser. Well, that was 20 something years ago. I was I did it for I did it for almost 20 years out of my life, which was a really long time. I had no time for anything. I had no time for relationships. I had no time for friends. I had no time for anything other than work. And I embrace that. I just realized, okay, you know, I've been given this this opportunity. I'm going to take advantage of it. I am going to take it as seriously as possible. And I did that. And now I am kind of relaxing more and not feeling like I need to do it all right now.

• 19:22Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I think it's important. Everybody has stages of their life. And, you know, I'm curious, by the way, last question about this, and then let's talk about loser, Biggest Loser, and helping people transform and the keys to that. But I want one last thing, because it's a gift. I think the contemplation of death actually helps you appreciate life more. And I think that it's okay to think about your passing. I think it's okay to think about your mortality. I do it a lot. And a lot of the happy people and successful people I know do think about it. I thought about when I was young. When I was young, I was like, I want to do something great because I only have so much time here in life. Now I look at it differently. We're like, I want to enjoy myself and give and contribute and have memories and have experiences.

• 20:03Ed Mylett?

  But for you, because this is a gift you give everybody because most people haven't gone through what you went through. How has it changed what matters to you about life in general? What's important to you? Has that, that's, I would imagine that's a dramatic change.

• 20:19Bob Harper?

  Absolutely. I was always a person that was deathly, excuse the pun, deathly afraid of death. Like I, if I watched any kind of movie that involved dying, death, deathbeds, anything like this. I, it was very upsetting to me. It's like, and I really think about that now and it's almost narcissistic, right? Like, I'm just like, I can't die. I've got too many things to do. And it's just like, like, I'm like, you know what? I found myself really, like now that I've really analyzed it, it's like how exhausting on my part. Because we all, like you said, you know, it's all inevitable.

• 21:00Bob Harper?

  And so what, what I've shifted my thinking is to be able to be so appreciative of where I am. And I know that sounds like some Miss America answer, but it's, it's how I feel. It's like, I appreciate every single day. I love my dogs. I love my family. The fact that I am here talking with you right now, it's like, I'm thinking about nothing else other than you and I. Like, because nothing else matters right now. And it's like being able to, to live in that moment and realize, okay, you know what? Something that I was so, so afraid of being death. Well, I've already done that. Check that off the list. Let's move on.

• 21:39Ed Mylett?

  That's amazing.

• 21:41Bob Harper?

  So it's like, it just made me kind of a little bit more chill. I guess.

• 21:46Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, I know what you mean. That's interesting because I watched you on TV all these years. I would not have known. Because watching the other trainers, I I felt like you were the kind one, if that makes any sense. You were the one that was the most caring, the most connecting with people. And to know that behind that guy, that was you, but also there was this driven sort of psycho dude in there, too.

• 22:05Bob Harper?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:05Ed Mylett?

  I think for some reason I didn't really connect those two until meeting you now. And it's actually makes me feel better about myself that I I was a psycho.

• 22:14Bob Harper?

  And I will say, yeah, I've always been kind, and I appreciate you saying that. I I I will take that word because it's a it's a good word. I also, in my training technique, I've always been pragmatic. Like, I'm going to, if I'm going to be working with someone that is struggling with their weight, I'm going to lay out the plan. I'm going to give them all the information. I'm going to, I'm going to be their biggest cheerleader. But it's going to be up to them at the end of the day. I can't be there every single day for the rest of your life. You have to realize that this is the baton that I am handing over to you for you to run into your future. And and when when I talk to people in that in that kind of sensible, pragmatic way,

• 22:58Bob Harper?

  I I've been able to get really good results from that because you've got to, you you, people have got to accept the responsibility.

• 23:05Ed Mylett?

  Let's talk about the results. Let's talk about transfer. I'm glad we went there about transformation because everyone's trying to transform something about themselves that's listening to this, including me, probably including you, right? And you would take someone in the most extreme circumstance. So the measuring stick isn't really fair as a trainer. Because if you're taking someone who's eight, 10, 12 pounds overweight, they're trying to get fit, I would imagine the success rate is higher because the ratio, the distance they have to close is less dramatic than someone's got to lose hundreds of pounds and has developed patterns of behavior over years and decades. So the success, quote unquote, success ratio is going to be lower because the situations are more extreme.

• 23:43Bob Harper?

  Absolutely.

• 23:44Ed Mylett?

  Long term, you know, I'm assuming most of these people, when they get off the show, correct me if I'm wrong, by the way, because if I'm wrong, I want to have premises incorrect, but that most of them probably put some weight back on, if not a lot of it.

• 23:55Bob Harper?

  Absolutely.

• 23:56Ed Mylett?

  Okay, what what is the difference with those that stayed fit long term? And those that made a short term change, but not a long term one, if you could define it?

• 24:06Bob Harper?

  Well, I think that in the beginning, if we're talking about loser specifically, but in the beginning, it was like shooting fish in a barrel, right? I mean, you could just get weight off of people just by changing their diet and getting them to move around a little bit, especially if you've got, you know, a hundred plus pounds to lose. But then it becomes more of, you know, the technical side of it. But what I've always tried to, to look at when I've worked with the people on the show is to say, okay, you're on this show right now. This is exciting. This is great, but you have to realize that this show will end. You will go back home and it's going to be up to you to learn everything you can, to fill your toolbox up with all the tools that you will need for success.

• 24:50Bob Harper?

  And I think that for a lot of people, and I think that for a lot of people, when it comes to weight loss in general, so many people put their weight back on because it's hard. Losing the weight is the easiest part. It's keeping it off because what you have to realize is that you have to change everything about the way that you used to live. You have to divorce yourself from your whole past as far as like the way that you ate, if you never exercised before, all these kinds of things, because you've got to implement this into your life for the rest of your life. And that's another pragmatic thing that I would always say, it's like, you're never going to not have to think about this. Like this is going to be a part of you and you're thinking every single day for the rest of your life.

• 25:35Bob Harper?

  Because that's just how it is. And, you know, that's a really hard pill to swallow. But when a person can swallow that pill and realize, okay, this is, this is going to be me. I have one of my really good friends that actually was a contestant on the show. She won the show and she has two kids. She was able to keep her weight, manage it. She is now in the fitness industry. She's a SoulCycle teacher, like she has been doing it for years. And it's like, she had to change everything, but she also had to change the people around her and get her husband on board. Because no one can do it on their own. You think you can do it on your own? You can't.

• 26:20Ed Mylett?

  Yep. Okay, you're on to something that I wanted to talk about here. So for me, there's some elements of the show that work. There's elements with the trainer that work. To me, there's three things when you're making a change. One, that the show had was there's a competition element to it. And I think sometimes when you leave the show, or you at least you stop competing. Competing is a healthy thing, and any change you want to make in your life, you better have a competition element, everyone, long-term. Still, that's why CrossFit is so popular. It's a competition. You're not just going to work out, you're competing. So if you're going to change that you're not drinking, you're going to change that you're going to be, make more money, you're going to change that you're going to, you know, be happier. You're competing to do that. The second thing to me was you created an environment. This is what you just said. I'm going to have you talk to all three of these.

• 27:05Ed Mylett?

  Second thing is an environment. If you don't change, change is 50% mental, 50% environmental. So if you don't, if you don't change your environment to support the new person you want to become, you're toast, long-term. And then the third one is identity, which you spoke about before. If you still see yourself as a heavy person, even though you've lost weight, you'll eventually gravitate back towards your identity. If you see yourself as a broke person, even though you're making money now, you'll gravitate back towards that broke person, especially if you're not competing and you're in an environment that doesn't support it. So let's, if we could break those down really quickly.

• 27:41Bob Harper?

  Oh, I'm just thinking like competition, right? You do need that. It's a, it's a driving force, right? It's like, it's all the, the challenge that you can do with people that, coworkers. It's getting ready for a marathon, or a 5K, or whatever. Like, you're going to do a triathlon. Like, it's all these things that kind of keep your head in the game. That's what we're saying. We're saying that competition level that you would put yourself in is keeping your head in the game, and when it comes to weight loss. And people are always asking me about, what's the right diet? You know, is it keto? Is it IF? Is like, whatever, whatever other diets are out there. And my thing is, whatever diet works for you, whatever eating plan that you can sustain,

• 28:25Bob Harper?

  that I'm going to be your biggest cheerleader and say, yes, do that. And if your doctor says that, um, that's, that's okay for you, that's great. Because, again, It's a competition and where you're just like, okay, I'm doing this diet and maybe you change to do something else. It's like, again, keeping your head in the game. So I think people using competition in so many different ways helps you stay on this path.

• 28:49Ed Mylett?

  What about your environment, though? Like, I'm just curious about how you feel about it. So they go back, they're, I remember seeing some of the clips when they would go back and seeing this person who's lost all this weight, and I mean this respectfully, but like, and then I'm looking at their husband, let's say, and that guy was 140 pounds overweight also. And I'm like, wow, they're going back to the same environment long term.

• 29:13Bob Harper?

  Yeah.

• 29:14Ed Mylett?

  And, and so do you agree that that's part of the failure process? And then should someone, this is horrible thing, I'm not talking about a spouse, but like, do you have to eliminate certain people from your environment if they don't support the change you want to make?

• 29:26Bob Harper?

  Absolutely. I mean, I think that, or you get them on board, just like my friend Olivia did. She got her husband on board and they did it together because, you know, there's, there's more power in numbers, right? So it's like, you want to have a, a strong team. It's like, you know, Tom Brady can't do it on his own, even as great as he is, he needs a whole team with him. And so it's like, it's the exact same thing with your environment. That's why I tell people, it's like, find that friend that you can work out with, find, go to group fitness classes, be around like-minded people, do all these things that sound silly to a person that is like, super fit and just like, uh, can do that on their own. I'm talking about a major majority of people that have never done anything like this before. You

• 30:11Bob Harper?

  know, they have all of the best intentions, but if they are surrounding themselves around people like, we would get these, we would go home with some of our contestants and it would almost just be like, their friends were, would say, look how great you've done. Let's, you can have a, you can have some pizza right now. You can do this. It's like telling an alcoholic that just got his 30 day chip.

• 30:34Ed Mylett?

  Yeah.

• 30:35Bob Harper?

  Wait, let's have one glass of champagne. One glass of champagne and, and you'll be fine. I'm like, no, you've got to get everyone around you on board because. In those weakest times. So all of a sudden, you and I are a married couple, right? And I'm the one that's lost all the weight and you're the one that's saying, you know, I'm not doing that. Like, in my weakest time, as I'm sitting with you on the sofa and we're watching, whatever it is we're watching, and you're eating your pizza or your nachos or whatever, I'm like, I'm, I'm gonna crumble. I, it's like, I'm, I'm gonna crumble. And so, it's like, your environment is so important for long-term success.

• 31:17Ed Mylett?

  Gosh, that's so well said. I, now, I want to go deep on something. So, this is like a secret thing, but I know you know this. It is true, I think, I can't prove this with any real data, but I can prove it of 50 years of living on earth, that when one person in a relationship makes a bunch of changes, and they sustain those changes, and the other person doesn't, we all seen this, the, maybe, maybe it's a guy who never got a lot of attention in his life, because he was always really, really heavy, right? All of a sudden, now, he's pretty sexy and jacked and looking pretty good, and the person they're with hasn't changed. This is one of these sort of deep, secret things. Some of these changes really affect relationships where they break them up, don't they? I mean, there's, there's a relationship between these two things, a correlation.

• 32:02Bob Harper?

  Yeah, absolutely, because here's what's happening. We're going back to us in this relationship. If, if I'm the one that's doing it and you're not, what's happening to you is like, I'm basically putting a mirror up to you. I'm putting a mirror in your face just going like this. You need to look at yourself right now, because this is what I'm doing for my, for myself. And so, a lot of people don't want to do that. And a lot of people will unconsciously or consciously sabotage the other person. And that's, that really sucks, you know?

• 32:33Ed Mylett?

  It does suck, yeah.

• 32:34Bob Harper?

  Because we all do, we all realize how hard it is to change a lifestyle, right? Like, you're, you're, you're changing a habit, and the only way, in my opinion, that you can change a habit is to replace it with another habit. You know, it's like,

• 32:52Ed Mylett?

  Wow, good.

• 32:53Bob Harper?

  Whatever, whatever it is that you're doing, that is a bad habit. You can't just make this go away. You've got to replace it with something and you've got to replace it with another habit. And if you don't have the people, the environment around you to support you, you're going to go back to that, um, bad habit.

• 33:10Ed Mylett?

  It's so good. There's a deep thing there, guys. I would just share with all of you because this is the expert, not me on this, but when you have someone around you who's not supporting the change you're making, they've already run this forward and they feel like you're leaving them by changing. Their, their emotion is, they can't express it, but you're, you're, you started a business and you're all excited. You're getting in shape. You're working on yourself and growing yourself personally and they're not. What they're feeling inside is you're going to leave me and they're trying to reel you back in before you get too far away. And, and Bob's nodding. And so when you have a partner or a friend who's not supporting this transition, this change you're going through, oftentimes that's

• 33:52Ed Mylett?

  what's going on inside of them. And usually one of the two things is going to give either they're going to get on board, right? And you're going to be together or the one of the other two things happen. You eventually are going to leave or you're going to succumb to their pressure and go back to who you used to be. So being aware of this is true. You're, you're nodding, Bob.

• 34:07Bob Harper?

  Yeah, that's exactly, uh, what I think. It's like, i- i- it can happen one of, uh, one of those three ways, right? Like you're either going to like attempt to do it on your own. The person is going to, uh, get on board or they're going to not and completely sabotage you. And, and I think that the positive way to look at this, um, because I'm not out here saying leave your, uh, leave your spouse.

• 34:31Ed Mylett?

  Neither one of us are. Right.

• 34:33Bob Harper?

  Right. But what I am saying is that you have to have that come to Jesus conversation with them like this. I need your help. You are my life partner and this is what, this is what, um, I am needing to do. My doctor says that I am unhealthy. Uh, you know, I'm pre-diabetic. I, you know, high blood pressure, whatever the case may be. It's like, like, help me. You are there with me. I need your help. Now, if, if that person is still not, um, able to help you in that situation, then that's a whole other conversation.

• 35:04Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, agreed. I totally agree with you. I, I didn't know we were going to go there, but I'm really glad we went there today because it's one of those states, it's one of the secrets of change in your life. You know, they feel like you're leaving and you may be. Yeah. Actually, you actually really may be.

• 35:17Bob Harper?

  Yeah, they're very threatened. People, people are threatened by change like what we're, we're talking about, right? Because they, they're looking at the person that they've been married to or been with for a long time. And now all of a sudden, they're changing and you're not. So again, there's that mirror up in front of you and you're like, wait, I'm not ready to, to look at myself. I'm not ready to open up all the crap that's in, that's in my baggage.

• 35:44Ed Mylett?

  Exactly right. That's a hundred percent true. So you said to make the changes, they gotta have an environment, have that person they're training with, that person they make sales calls with, or that running mate person. They have to actually get that support from whoever's close to them. They gotta compete. Then this identity thing, did you do any work on that? Or even in your own case, reshaping your identity lately? This is the biggest thing for me. I always feel like we eventually get our identity. We eventually come back to what we believe we deserve in our life. Eventually, that's what happens. And so long, you know, short term, you can have spikes and surges in life, but eventually you come back to, this is what I'm worth. This is what I'm worthy of. This is what I believe I deserve. And this is kind of the thoughts, concepts and beliefs you really hold to be true about you.

• 36:29Ed Mylett?

  It's sort of just, it's the governor of human existence to some extent, right?

• 36:34Bob Harper?

  I think that when it comes to identity and you're going to attract, just like you said, what, what you think about yourself. And it's that AA phrase of fake it till you make it. Because if you do have low self-esteem, for instance, or you, you are able to beat yourself up more than anyone else could possibly do. It's like you've got to be able to take those small steps to, to respecting yourself, to taking care of yourself and realize that this is not something that you could just wake up one day and be like, I'm great and I deserve everything that, that life has to give. You know, how great would that be to be able to do that? You know, for a lot of people, that's just not the case.

• 37:16Bob Harper?

  And you've got to like, take those small steps daily. You've got to work on yourself. Like, you know, I'm, I'm a big therapy guy. I've been in therapy for a very long time and like, Having having someone to to talk to. And then there are times where it's like having those the support group of friends and relationships that you can be that you can listen to my my crap. And I'm going to listen to yours. And just like, once, once you get the voices out of your head and out in the open, I think that's when you can really start to make changes. It's the people that don't really say much that just constantly has have that that inner dialogue. It's just like just beating themselves up. It's like, you got to get it out. You got to just, you got to say it all

• 38:01Bob Harper?

  and throw it all out there because that's what's going to get you to heal.

• 38:09Ed Mylett?

  Wow, so good. So good. Oh, my gosh. I was thinking about you when I was prepping for this. Like, you've helped so many people in your life. I wonder if it dawns on you. You know, like, you've just, your life has been mainly about helping other people. And what do you do? You acknowledge that about yourself?

• 38:29Bob Harper?

  I'll tell you a conversation that I had with Dr. Oz, of all people, after my heart attack, because he had said to me, as I'm sitting in his, his office after, and he was wanting to go through all my, my, my paperwork and everything that that had happened to me. And one thing that he said to me was like, for the longest time, you have been helping a certain group of people. Now with what you what you've experienced, there's a whole other group of people that are out there needing your help. That's why working with survivors have heart that you had mentioned earlier has been like a driving force in my life. You know, being able to get together a group of people that have had heart attacks and speaking to people like if you've survived a heart attack, you know what?

• 39:13Bob Harper?

  Like, you can have a life that you not only live, but you thrive in. And like, you know, I'm getting to work with a whole other group of people. And what it does for me is it helps me. And I remember when we first started doing Survivors Have Heart, this was like right after my heart attack, maybe it was like not even a year. And I mean, I was messed up. And here I was sitting in this room with other heart attack survivors and I was gonna, I was the one that was supposed to have all the answers and, and, and learn everything. And what I realized was, you know what, we're all just in here together and we're all just trying to, to, to heal. And that's why this has been one of the most rewarding things I've

• 39:57Bob Harper?

  ever done in my career.

• 39:59Ed Mylett?

  Well, congratulations. Do you, do you, I'm just curious, do you know why you don't remember that day? Do you think it's, it was just so dramat- traumatic that you blocked it? Or is it, or is there actually a physical thing that happened because of the heart attack?

• 40:12Bob Harper?

  That's a really good question. I think that like some, um, some doctors have said, uh, that it's, it's the, uh, brain's way of protecting you. Like, you would think it's been four years now that like, something would be coming back.

• 40:26Ed Mylett?

  Right, like a flinch, just a.

• 40:27Bob Harper?

  Like, just something, right? No, no, it's like, and I just, you know, I, I play these, um, these fantasies in my head of like, okay, cause I know my routine. I'm a very routine oriented person. I know that I got up. I know that I, you know, made my coffee. I took my dog for a walk and then I got ready and I walked to that gym. And like, the one thing that was the most upsetting for me, uh, when I, when I try to conjure up some sort of memory is like, I'm very, like, I'm a dog person. I'm very close. At this time, I only had, I had one dog. Now I have two and they're both laying right beside

• 41:07Bob Harper?

  me right now. But, um, the one thing that was so upsetting for me is my dog, his name is Carl, who was with me that day. Like, he's very attached to me. And so when I was working, would it work out every single day in this gym? He would come with me and he would sit in the office. And like, as soon as that office door would open, he would run looking for me, right? And so.

• 41:30Bob Harper?

  I just thought, oh my God, that door opened, he and he saw me there and like it just, I had, I had nightmares about that because he's like, you know, he's, he's my best friend and like, it was, that was a very upsetting thing. I could start crying when I talk about that.

• 41:49Ed Mylett?

  But we have so much in common. It's a striking that you just said that because I have to share, I'll just share this with you. Everyone gets to listen in. But when I had my cardiac event, we'll call it whatever you want to call it, when I was going through it, the only thing I could think of is I had a little boy and my daughter at the time was I didn't want my daughter to walk in and find me and see it. Is that bizarre that you had the same exact thought with your dog that I had with my daughter? That's who I was thinking of was her. Like, I don't want her to see this. And that's amazing that you, that was your, that your thought posted. That's incredible to me.

• 42:24Bob Harper?

  Cause it's traumatic. Like your daughter seeing, seeing her dad, like that's something that she like will be with her. They'll be with her forever. So it's like, I, I get it. I mean, we're all like, I think about all of us as humans, right? We're all very similar. As much as people try to like categorize us, like we're all, we're all similar. We all just, we all want to be loved. We want to love. You know, it's like, we just want to be kinder to people and just like kind of take care and make sure that the people that we love are taken care of.

• 42:57Ed Mylett?

  So true.

• 42:58Bob Harper?

  So that's what I think about in my life and not getting, not getting twisted about the stupidest things anymore.

• 43:05Ed Mylett?

  Hmm. Which everyone's doing more than ever right now.

• 43:09Bob Harper?

  That's right.

• 43:10Ed Mylett?

  It's interesting. When you're on the other side of events like this, you do start to notice, I feel so much empathy for people that allow these small things or what they're telling us on the television, we should be mad about right now, or we should be concerned about like, like you think about the news is really interesting. Whatever you believe, it's like not, they have a lot of control. Not only they tell you, they don't, they don't just tell you what's happening. They tell you what you should think about, what does matter. Like in a given day, this is more important than that. And it's just amazing that once you have events like.

• 43:40Ed Mylett?

  This you're like, wow, this what matters to me is the people that I love. What matters to me is that we're a better world. That's why I do the show. It's why you're here. It's why like, and I'm, and we're in the middle of this. When you're talking, I'm like, I'm just so grateful to be doing this with Bob right now. This is exactly why I started this. This is helping people to get to listen to two guys talk about this stuff. I'm curious about happiness in general. This is all, I got two final questions. They're not easy ones either. I always get, the class gets harder towards the end with me.

• 44:06Bob Harper?

  Okay.

• 44:07Ed Mylett?

  This is a toughie. Do you know what makes you happy? And by the way, I think it's okay to say I'm still figuring it out. Like in some cases, sometimes I think I do and I don't, but because what we're all after ultimately, whether we want a better body, a bit more money, a better relationship, we want more happiness. We want more bliss. We want more peace in our life. I'm curious if you know what brings you that yet, or are you still, and by the way, it's, I think life is about discovering that long term and it changes. But right now, if I said, Bob Harper, are you happy? And do you know what makes you happy? And is it different than before the heart attack?

• 44:42Bob Harper?

  I think that when it comes to being happy, it's, it's on a, it could change on a daily basis.

• 44:49Ed Mylett?

  Honest answer, yeah.

• 44:50Bob Harper?

  I think that I, I know that the people that I love make me happy. My dogs make me super happy. Working out still, and I'm so glad I can say this, working out makes me happy.

• 45:04Ed Mylett?

  Me too.

• 45:05Bob Harper?

  Like, like I, I love it. And for the longest time after my heart attack, I didn't think that I was going to be able to say that anymore. Cause I was like, I was afraid. So it's like, you know, it's, it's those little things, those little day to day things that make me happy. I think that I've always said this about happiness. Happiness could be a construct if you really, uh, really think about it. And what I mean by that is like, Really intelligent people, people that are just more dialed in. I find that it's more difficult for them to either be happy or to say that they're happy. And I think that being happy is something that we all need to work on.

• 45:50Bob Harper?

  And we talked about like, you know, politics or whatever, like these, like these, these different sides, right? It's like, you know, think how I think or, you know, or the other people are saying, think what I think. When I woke up one day and realized I'm being manipulated. Like, like, how dare me like fall into this game of like, you know, you're like watching the news. It's like, you're trying to really piss me off. You're trying to fire me up and get me to, you know, hate or yell or just be angry. I'm like this, uh-uh, stop. And like being able to like do this, like when I think in those terms, like I get more relaxed. I get, I, I can get quote unquote happy.

• 46:32Ed Mylett?

  I love it. I interviewed this man named Sadhguru. He's sort of a mystic. And he said to me, it's just worth saying to you, cause I, he said, I've never forgotten. He's like, this pursuit of being happy is a fallacy. It's kind of like what you just said. And he said, I think happiness is a state of being, just be, just be. I know that sounds cheesy. It sounds very like nuanced, oh, new age mystical, but like it's actually so true. What you're really saying about smart people is that they build more conditions on their happiness. This has to be in place. I gotta know this, I gotta be around these people in this place, achieved this, feel this way, look this way. Then I'll be happy, except the finish line keeps moving. The bar keeps moving and you never get to that place.

• 47:13Ed Mylett?

  If it's, if you're always chasing these things that you think will bring you this happiness. And so.

• 47:18Bob Harper?

  Yeah. So it's like, you just want to be like, just slow down. Like actually use the phrase of stop and smell the roses, right? It's like, it, it's super important. And just because like, here's, here's what, one of the biggest takeaways I would give your audience right now. That is to just not only stop and smell the roses, but like, you know, realize that life. Can be over in an instant. Like I dropped dead on that floor. Don't have any recollection. Life, lights out, right? So I think about that every day as I'm going into my life and go, you know what? Tomorrow is not guaranteed. I am going to focus on today and I'm going to make

• 48:03Bob Harper?

  the best out of this day because tomorrow's not guaranteed.

• 48:07Ed Mylett?

  Yeah, that's the part, that's the part where we need to rewind everybody and listen to that for like 90 seconds again. Those are my favorite things. That's, that's beautiful, brother. I wish we were ending on that, but I promised my audience I would ask you this question. So, last question. By the way, you, you, thank you for today. I've enjoyed this tremendously and I think it'll be the first of many conversations you and I have. I just have a feeling about it. So, um, really great stuff. It's been great for me. So everyone's listening to this. They're trying to make a change. And so we've covered a lot of things today, but you've helped more people change parts of their life than about anybody living on the earth. There's, you know, you're in the, you're in the conversation, right? For sure. Over the last 20 years, you've helped so many people make changes in their life. Other than things we've covered in the interview,

• 48:50Ed Mylett?

  if someone ran into you in a Starbucks, I ask this question often, and they said, Bob, I want to change XYZ in my life. I, I, I want to make this change in my life. What would your advice be to that person to begin the change, begin the transformation?

• 49:05Bob Harper?

  I think to begin the transformation, you've got to be very careful at setting smaller, more realistic goals. You cannot change everything at once. If you all of a sudden woke up and decided, I am going to eat chicken and broccoli every single day and I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to like drink a gallon of water, like, you know, all these things. By the end of, I hope that you could get through two weeks by doing this because you're going to just give up. It's too much. You start off small. You make changes that you're able to succeed and then you build from there. Do one thing today. One thing, if it's, I'm not going to order the french fries at lunch or dinner, or I'm gonna, uh, you know, I'm going to get up 20 minutes earlier and

• 49:49Bob Harper?

  go on a walk, you know, uh, before I even step foot into the shower to go to the, uh, to go to These little things, they add up and you will be able to be more likely to succeed as opposed to just changing everything all at once. It just doesn't work.

• 50:09Ed Mylett?

  So good. You guys got to follow Bob on social media. That's where you'll get most of his stuff. You can find out all about this Survivors Heart organization. Can you, am I saying that right? Survivorsheart.com. Am I correct about that?

• 50:20Bob Harper?

  It's Survivors Have Heart.

• 50:22Ed Mylett?

  Have Heart. Okay. SurvivorsHaveHeart.com. It's incorrect on my sheet here. So SurvivorsHaveHeart.com. Follow him on social media, particularly his Instagram's awesome. I'm following him. And I just, like I said to you, brother, I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful that you're alive. I'm grateful that those nine minutes didn't end up being forever and that you're back with us and still changing people's lives. And it's great to see you healthy and happy right now. So thank you for today.

• 50:48Bob Harper?

  That means a lot to me. And I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation today.

• 50:51Ed Mylett?

  So did I. All right, guys. Thank you. So are you. And everybody, share this. This is one of those, you gotta share it. Anybody you love, anybody you care about. Spread the word. Fastest growing show on planet Earth. That's why you're listening to us. It's because of your support. So thank you, everybody. God bless you all. Max out.