I’ve Been Cheating on My Pregnant Fiancée for Years

On today’s episode, we hear about: A man wondering how to rebuild his relationship after cheating for years A wife struggling to get sober because of her alcoholic husband A woman grappling with the impact her husband’s business dream is having on their marriage Next Steps: ❤️⁠⁠ Get away with your spouse today!⁠⁠ 🔥⁠⁠ Reconnect every day. Download the Together app.⁠⁠ 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or⁠⁠ send us a message⁠⁠. 📚⁠⁠ Building a Non-Anxious Life⁠⁠ 📝⁠⁠ Anxiety Test⁠⁠ 📚⁠⁠ Own Your Past, Change Your Future⁠⁠ ❓⁠⁠ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards⁠⁠ 💭⁠⁠ John’s Free Guided Meditation⁠⁠ 🤘🏼⁠⁠ The Dr. John Delony Show Merch⁠⁠ Connect With Our Sponsors: Head to⁠⁠ Beam⁠⁠ and use code DELONY for an exclusive discount—because better sleep, energy and focus start tonight. Get 10% off your first month of⁠⁠ BetterHelp⁠⁠. Keep your home safe and under control. Go to⁠⁠ Cove Smart⁠⁠ and use code DELONY for up to 80% off your first order. Get an exclusive offer with code DELONY at⁠⁠ Cozy Earth⁠⁠. Get 20% off when you join⁠⁠ DeleteMe⁠⁠. Go to⁠⁠ Dutch Pet⁠⁠ and use code DELONY to get $50 off a year of vet care. Go love your pets! Visit⁠⁠ Hallow⁠⁠ for a 90-day free trial. Visit⁠⁠ Helix Sleep⁠⁠ for special offers! Working knives for working people—go to⁠⁠ Montana Knife Company⁠⁠ to see what’s available now! Explore⁠⁠ Poncho Outdoors⁠⁠! Get 25% off your order at⁠⁠ Thorne⁠⁠.  Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️⁠⁠ The Ramsey Show⁠⁠ 💸⁠⁠ The Ramsey Show Highlights⁠⁠ 🍸⁠⁠ Smart Money Happy Hour⁠⁠ 💡⁠⁠ The Rachel Cruze Show⁠⁠ 💰⁠⁠ George Kamel⁠⁠ 🪑⁠⁠ Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman⁠⁠ 📈⁠⁠ EntreLeadership⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Speaker 00

  I have been cheating on my fiancee for all of our relationship, which has been about three years.

• 0:14Dr. John Delony?

  Does she know?

• 0:16Speaker 00

  Does she?

• 0:17Dr. John Delony?

  Does she know about your affairs?

• 0:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 0:20Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. Does she know the full extent? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, talking about your marriage, your dating life, your kids, your mental and emotional health, whatever you've got going on in your life where you've found, "I'm struggling, and I don't know the next right move." That's what we're here for. Pull up a seat, and we're gonna figure it out together. Let's go out to Perry Hall, Maryland, and talk to Joe. What up, Joe?

• 0:52Speaker 00

  Hi, Dr. John.

• 0:54Dr. John Delony?

  How are you, brother?

• 0:55Speaker 00

  I am nervous. All the words.

• 1:00Dr. John Delony?

  All the words. Well, man, I'm glad that you're here, brother. Take a big, deep breath, dude.

• 1:05Speaker 00

  I have been cheating on my fiancee for all of our relationship, which has been about three years, and we are now expecting twins, and it has blown up, and we don't know how to move forward.

• 1:26Dr. John Delony?

  Well, I want to applaud you for coming out and just saying it. Taking ownership, man. That tells me that you're actually interested in what's the next right thing to do, right?

• 1:38Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 1:40Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. Does she know?

• 1:43Speaker 00

  Does she? I'm sorry.

• 1:46Dr. John Delony?

  Does she know about your affairs?

• 1:48Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:49Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. Does she know the full extent?

• 1:51Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:52Dr. John Delony?

  All of it?

• 1:53Speaker 00

  All of it.

• 1:55Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. How far along is she in her pregnancy?

• 2:00Speaker 00

  About a month.

• 2:02Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. So, y'all are four weeks in, eight weeks pregnant? Where are you?

• 2:08Speaker 00

  I would say four weeks pregnant.

• 2:12Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. Um...

• 2:19Dr. John Delony?

  So ask me a specific question, how I can help, man? We're all just sitting there in the ash of a burned down house saying, what do we do now?

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've been, uh, I've actually found your show about, um, four weeks ago when this all blew up. Um, and, uh, yeah, I've actually signed up for Better Health and, uh, I've been talking to a therapist for that amount of time, um, and found that I've been, uh, lying to myself and having dysfunctional pathological lying, habitual lying and trying to get out of that. Um, so I, I, I believe I've been, I'm taking the next right step.

• 3:02Dr. John Delony?

  Awesome.

• 3:03Speaker 00

  Um, it's, uh, just trying to, I want to give you a little bit of a timeline. This kind of all blew up in, uh, uh, September 19th and I had the, the, uh, the largest, like, the worst wake up call, um, ever.

• 3:21Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 3:22Speaker 00

  That this is wrong. So, um, um, that time, uh, was when I, um, I, shoot, um...

• 3:38Dr. John Delony?

  Just say it, man.

• 3:40Speaker 00

  It, I ended up, she works for a government agency that I can't name.

• 3:47Dr. John Delony?

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:48Speaker 00

  Um, and so she, uh, has, you know, she gets thoroughly background checked and, um, because I'm with her, um, I also get thoroughly, um, checked. So, um, that being said, I applied for the Secret Service and had done all the things and had gotten to the point of the polygraph, took the polygraph and admitted to a lot of things in that polygraph. Um, and on the 19th, I think it was either the 19th or before, I knew she was about to go into her meeting for her security clearance and I knew that they were going to discuss me.

• 4:24Dr. John Delony?

  Hmm.

• 4:25Speaker 00

  And so I called her two days before then and I told her what happened.

• 4:31Dr. John Delony?

  Why'd you call her instead of showing up in person?

• 4:41Speaker 00

  I

• 4:44Speaker 00

  I am not entirely sure, except that I knew that I needed to say it.

• 4:49Dr. John Delony?

  Um. Are you all in different parts of the country right now?

• 4:52Speaker 00

  No, sir. We live probably about thirty minutes away. Um.

• 4:56Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 4:56Speaker 00

  And we weren't, uh, her, her schedules a lot. Um, so.

• 5:01Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. Alright, so you, so you just, you disclose this two days out?

• 5:04Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 5:05Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  And obviously it, it all blew up, but when I disclosed what I disclosed, I, I only disclosed a, a fraction of it.

• 5:15Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 5:16Speaker 00

  And, um, so, um, about, you know, it, it blew up about four weeks later, uh, um, more, more came out because she got access to everything and was looking through everything and, um, yeah, and, uh, you know, she asked me the questions and I told, told her, um, the truth and then about, uh, the real, and then after that happened, um, she,

• 5:48Speaker 00

  she had a, uh, uh, she got really upset. Um, she had a, um, she has a brain condition and she had a massive seizure.

• 6:02Speaker 00

  Um, because of the stress on her body and, uh, she was technically dead for three hours.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  And

• 6:15Speaker 00

  her best, her best friend had texted me that that, that was what going on and that was my, that was my wake up call of this needs to stop.

• 6:24Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  So.

• 6:27Dr. John Delony?

  What is, um,

• 6:31Dr. John Delony?

  what does cheating get you? Cause it's, it's solving a problem in your life. What is it?

• 6:37Speaker 00

  It was, uh, now that I've been to therapy, I, I believe it was because I was coping with, uh, not being happy with myself and feeling appreciated and, you know, using porn and whatever else it was. Um, made me feel good for a little bit. And so that was my coping mechanism.

• 6:57Dr. John Delony?

  I don't know that it made you feel good as much as it distracted you or made you feel numb from not liking this guy in the mirror.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 7:11Dr. John Delony?

  And so the strange thing about not liking the guy in the mirror, or feeling dead in your own skin is the world we have, and bro, I'm trained as a therapist, like, I'm trained to train therapists, right? Like, I get that, that's my whole world. And the path to you becoming a man that you respect for the first time in your life is doing the next right thing. Action.

• 7:42Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 7:42Dr. John Delony?

  And it may cost you, your, I mean, your, your, your relationship with this woman may be over. You getting the dream job you want may not happen at this moment in your life. It will one day, but not today. I guess what I'll tell you is, becoming a man that you respect so that others can anchor into you, which is what our world desperately, desperately needs, is gonna come with a hellacious amount of accountability here.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 8:14Dr. John Delony?

  Right? Or as Paul Thomas Anderson once famously wrote, "You may be through with the past, but the past may not be through with you."

• 8:22Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 8:23Dr. John Delony?

  And I want you to, I'm telling you that to let you know, the relief you feel that you finally put everything out on the table, that, that, it will get hard again. It'll get really hard again, right? And that doesn't mean it's not the wrong path. In fact, that is 100% the path, is walking through it. Right?

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 8:45Dr. John Delony?

  So, the, I guess the elephant in the room is, does she still wanna be with you? Obviously, this is way more complicated now that you have twins coming.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, um, she's, we've talked about it, um, and I've expressed my, um, obviously, I want to still be with her and I want to take responsibility, you know, for everything I've done and also for the children coming, um.

• 9:12Dr. John Delony?

  Well, let's separate those real quick, okay?

• 9:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 9:16Dr. John Delony?

  Anytime somebody has that sense, and it has been there for a long, long, long time, of feeling dead inside, one of the things they don't ever wanna do is hurt somebody. Which makes their actions, cheating on somebody, hiding money, lying, it makes those things seem even more insane.

• 9:39Dr. John Delony?

  But my guess is you don't ever want to hurt this woman. Is that fair? Yes, sir. Okay, I want you to be super, super clear

• 9:49Dr. John Delony?

  that your pursuit of her, your re-pursuit of her is not in an effort to take away her pain.

• 9:59Dr. John Delony?

  Because you feel real bad, right? Yes, sir. Okay, I want to make sure that you have decided, I want to wake up every day for the rest of my life and choose to love this woman so recklessly

• 10:14Dr. John Delony?

  that I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that she knows on a minute by minute, hour by hour, year by year basis that she is safe and loved. And if you can't make that commitment right now, don't.

• 10:30Dr. John Delony?

  I can and I do. Okay, that's a big commitment because here's why. You've never done that before? Yes, sir. And so you're gonna have to give yourself a dump truck load full of grace moving forward. Because you're entering into a thing that you want to do and you don't know how to do it. You don't know what it feels like to do it and you have a, an allergy to discomfort, to boredom, to the mundane, right? Yes, sir. And that is life.

• 11:04Dr. John Delony?

  And so, cool, if you say you're all in, awesome. You're gonna show up for your kids, right? You're gonna do that.

• 11:13Dr. John Delony?

  But are you gonna show up for her?

• 11:18Dr. John Delony?

  Yes. Okay.

• 11:21Dr. John Delony?

  I don't want the weight of that statement, that commitment to go unnoticed. You should have felt a squat bar on your back, just go with a whole bunch more weight on it, okay?

• 11:33Dr. John Delony?

  Yes, sir. Because becoming somebody that another person can anchor into till death do you part takes responsibility.

• 11:44Speaker 00

  Yes, sir.

• 11:45Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. It's a responsibility that more and more and more men need to take, but it is a responsibility. Okay, so.

• 11:54Dr. John Delony?

  My guess is neither of y'all are in a place to make, here's what we do next.

• 12:01Dr. John Delony?

  Cause it's still too, everything's still too fresh. She almost died.

• 12:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:06Dr. John Delony?

  The guy she was gonna marry, she found out was a fraud. Oh, and you're having twins. On top of having a neurological condition, which is gonna be a whole different kind of pregnancy, right?

• 12:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:16Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, it's just a lot. So she's probably operating on a minute by, oh, by the way, the government shut down, which that's great. Like, so she's on a minute by minute, right?

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:28Dr. John Delony?

  So what has she told you about rebuilding this thing from the, from the bedrock up?

• 12:34Speaker 00

  Um, obviously, we established that, you know.

• 12:39Speaker 00

  All the, I, I took care of all the apps, all the things that I was doing, Instagram, Facebook, like, you know.

• 12:48Dr. John Delony?

  They're gone. You deleted them. They're off.

• 12:51Speaker 00

  Oh, not just that. I, I went and I took the account, I took, deleted the account, then I deleted them out of my phone.

• 12:57Dr. John Delony?

  Great.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  And, and I'm the whole nine yards, cause I was using, I was misusing all kinds of apps.

• 13:02Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. So, so here's the thing, I want you to continue to go back to her on a week by week basis for the first two or three months.

• 13:14Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 13:15Dr. John Delony?

  And say, you get to decide what rebuilding trust looks like, and I will walk the path you lay before me.

• 13:25Dr. John Delony?

  I want you to make that a weekly ritual.

• 13:30Dr. John Delony?

  And she will probably say, I don't wanna be your mother, I don't know even.

• 13:36Dr. John Delony?

  And then when she says that, I want you to say, that's totally cool. When you are ready, I'm here, and here's the things I've done in the meantime.

• 13:45Dr. John Delony?

  I'm on week four with everything off my phone.

• 13:50Dr. John Delony?

  Here is my phone unlocked, if you wanna see it. By the way, the passcode to my phone is X, Y, or Z.

• 13:57Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 13:58Dr. John Delony?

  By the way, I've pulled my credit report. Here is everything I owe. I want you to see that I'm a person of character.

• 14:08Dr. John Delony?

  Because I am going to rebuild this from the floor up.

• 14:12Dr. John Delony?

  And my hope is over time, she begins to say, and here is, I've been to counseling this many times, I am in the gym. I, here's the things affirmatively I am doing, not to win her back,

• 14:26Dr. John Delony?

  but to become somebody that is trustworthy, that she can anchor into.

• 14:31Dr. John Delony?

  And every time you fudge something, you kind of bend the truth a little bit, you're going to stop, you're going to call her and say, you asked if I was headed straight home and I said, yes, I actually am stopping to get coffee and then I'm going to come straight home. I'm going to be 100% honest with you.

• 14:47Dr. John Delony?

  And you're going to have to practice when you do veer left or right, you've been doing it for so long, you're gonna have, you're gonna slip and fall, you're gonna go through the shame, go through the guilt, you're gonna go boom, I'm gonna call you right back. And this is how I'm gonna practice being a person of integrity.

• 15:03Dr. John Delony?

  Yes, sir. And at the end of this path, she still may say, I don't want to be with you.

• 15:14Dr. John Delony?

  There still may be lingering consequences.

• 15:20Dr. John Delony?

  And part of being a person of integrity is if you do this for a year and you come to the realization that I don't want to be with you romantically, long-term, you have to be a person of character that puts that on the table. I'm gonna hurt you again. My hope is that doesn't happen, but this is integrity. It's whole. The root word is integer, whole.

• 15:45Dr. John Delony?

  But she gets to decide the path moving forward.

• 15:49Dr. John Delony?

  And if she chooses to take you back, then she has a responsibility to practice being less emotionally reactive, to give you a path back and to not beat you up 24/7, 365/44, like as part of y'all coming back together, but right now you own the cleanup.

• 16:07Dr. John Delony?

  You blew the house to smithereens, you own the cleanup.

• 16:12Dr. John Delony?

  And she gets to tell you which part of the yard you're gonna start cleaning up first.

• 16:17Dr. John Delony?

  Slow, steady, step by step by step. And by the way, go to every single appointment, every single OB-GYN appointment, every single doctor's appointment, because you also are going to be a dad who freaking shows up.

• 16:36Dr. John Delony?

  I'm gonna take off work. You're gonna, well, if you leave again, you're fired. Fine. I quit because these kids that aren't even born yet are more important. I will be a dad who shows up. And in so doing, you're going to show her that you're a guy who shows up. And in so doing, you're going to prove to yourself, the person you absolutely

• 16:57Dr. John Delony?

  burned from the inside out on this deal, you're going to prove to yourself, I am a man who shows up. I'm a man who can weather the truth. I am a man who is going to do things in my life. I'm going to play music. I'm going to exercise. I'm going to get a hobby. I'm going to get a side hustle. I'm going to be a guy who doubles and triples and quadruples down on the woman in my life. Because I'm a guy who doesn't let myself get dead in my own skin. And that is a choice that we make. And so you've been using apps as a numbing device, as a drug. You're going to have to backfill that with positive activities, positive action. I'm going to start serving in my local community. I'm going to become involved. I'm going to become a man that I respect when I look at him in the mirror. Not who's perfect, but who is working, grinding to do the next right thing.

• 17:39Dr. John Delony?

  And then maybe she'll consider reanchoring into you. You got a long road to hoe, but listen, I'm proud of you for saying, I take ownership.

• 17:54Dr. John Delony?

  And ownership comes at a cost, but it is the next right move. Call me anytime, brother. I'll walk with you. And if she wants to call, I'm happy to talk to her, too.

• 18:05Dr. John Delony?

  You got a long path ahead of you, man, but you're taking the right step.

• 18:10Dr. John Delony?

  Keep going. When we come back, a woman asks how to get sober when her husband has no interest in getting sober himself.

• 18:20Dr. John Delony?

  This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, as we head into the new year, I want you to take an inventory of all the stuff you're carrying. All the things you think you have to do, all the past hurts and pains, along with all of the past guilt and shames. All of it. When the world feels heavy, it's important to look in the mirror and consider setting down all of that old weight and even consider not carrying it into 2026. Therapy can help you identify the heavy stuff, help you set it down and move forward with clarity so you can focus on the new year. And if you're thinking about therapy, I recommend BetterHelp. BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists and they're one of the leading online therapy

• 19:05Dr. John Delony?

  providers on the planet and they're trusted by millions of people around the world with an average rating of 4.9 stars out of 5. It's all online, so it's easy to fit in your schedule. To get started, you just answer a few simple questions and they'll connect you with a licensed therapist that fits your needs. And if it's not the right fit, you can change therapists at any time for no extra cost. You can't feel lighter without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Visit betterhelp.com/deloney for 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash deloney.

• 19:41Dr. John Delony?

  All right, Huntsville, Alabama, right down the street from me. Let's go to Destiny. What's up Destiny?

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Hey, Dr. John, how are you?

• 19:50Dr. John Delony?

  I'm good. How are you, lady?

• 19:52Speaker 02

  I'm making it, day by day.

• 19:53Dr. John Delony?

  There we go. There we go. What's up?

• 19:57Speaker 02

  So, I'm struggling with staying sober when there's alcohol around me constantly because my husband has no interest in getting sober or being sober.

• 20:11Dr. John Delony?

  Tell me about your sobriety journey. How'd you get here?

• 20:14Speaker 02

  Um, it started, we started, well, when we met, we bonded over drinking and then as the years gone on, it's just gotten heavier and heavier. And I've been trying to quit for the past, uh, probably two to three years and I always find myself going back to it, falling, like I have, feel like I have no willpower when it comes down to the end of the day.

• 20:44Dr. John Delony?

  Well, I mean, that's step, that's, that's right at the top of AA, right? I'm powerless.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I haven't actually attended any AA or anything like that.

• 20:55Dr. John Delony?

  So, how are you trying to get sober? Just white knuckling the crap out of it?

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Basically, yeah.

• 21:00Dr. John Delony?

  All right, I'm gonna tell you, you're gonna, you're gonna fall over every time trying to do that.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:08Dr. John Delony?

  Are you really ready to get sober? Or are you just tired of being drunk?

• 21:13Speaker 02

  I'm ready to be sober.

• 21:14Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 21:17Dr. John Delony?

  And I'm asking you that question because then when it comes to a spouse

• 21:23Dr. John Delony?

  who has no interest in in helping his wife get healthy and whole,

• 21:30Dr. John Delony?

  you're gonna have some real hard choices to make.

• 21:36Dr. John Delony?

  But the first choice is, I really want to get sober. Because I'm worth

• 21:43Dr. John Delony?

  feeling loved and alive in my own body.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's taken some time to get to that point where now I just gotta figure out how.

• 21:54Dr. John Delony?

  Okay, tonight you go to your first meeting.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 22:01Dr. John Delony?

  And tomorrow morning you get up and go to your meeting again.

• 22:06Dr. John Delony?

  And here's what you're gonna prove to yourself. A, you are indeed powerless.

• 22:13Dr. John Delony?

  B, alcohol's been serving a role in your life. It's actually been helping you.

• 22:20Dr. John Delony?

  And we gotta get to the true thing your body's trying to to navigate.

• 22:26Dr. John Delony?

  And it might be an unsafe husband.

• 22:33Dr. John Delony?

  And three, you're gonna prove to yourself, I'm serious about this this time.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I always tell myself I'm serious and then.

• 22:42Dr. John Delony?

  I know, I know, I know. I think you really want to want to do this.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:48Dr. John Delony?

  I've never in my life, that's that's not true. Maybe a couple of times, but almost never have I met somebody who really struggles with alcohol, who likes the struggle.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:03Dr. John Delony?

  So you say, I want to quit. I want to go get sober.

• 23:10Dr. John Delony?

  They'll tell you at AA, well, don't underestimate the cost.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  I wonder, I think sometimes I wonder what, you know, the relationship's going to be like.

• 23:24Dr. John Delony?

  A hundred percent different.

• 23:29Dr. John Delony?

  And so if you're trying to preserve the relationship as it is and do this other thing,

• 23:38Dr. John Delony?

  the homeostasis of the relationship, I said that in a dorky way, the gravitational pull of the way things just are, is going to win the day every time.

• 23:50Dr. John Delony?

  Because you're going to have four weeks of sobriety and then your husband's going to yell at you. You're going to have four weeks of sobriety and he's going to come home drunk again pawing at you. Or you're going to have four weeks of just white knuckling it and then you're going to get in trouble at work and your body is going to reach for the only thing it knows to take the pain away. And it's surrounding you in your own house.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I mean, I've heard you say like, if you're trying to get sober from alcohol, you pour it all out of your house or take it all out of your house.

• 24:20Dr. John Delony?

  That's just step one. That's just, that is, that's not even step one. That is step zero.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then it's brought back in daily, even though like I can ask, I can say, hey, can we do this together? Or can you only get the amount that you will drink? So I'm not tempted because I'm probably not going to go out and get it. But if there's not any extra, I'm less tempted to do it.

• 24:47Dr. John Delony?

  And that's, that's your story on this side of sobriety. And I, that story makes sense to you and I applaud it because you're trying to hang on to something, you're trying to hang on to a ghost, which is, that we have a good marriage.

• 25:06Dr. John Delony?

  And I think, deep down, you know that you don't.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:12Dr. John Delony?

  Is that fair?

• 25:13Speaker 02

  I definitely think things could be better. Yeah, that's fair.

• 25:16Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. Is your husband safe?

• 25:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's safe.

• 25:20Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 25:23Dr. John Delony?

  The only other conversation I would challenge you to have with him is not about drinking.

• 25:32Dr. John Delony?

  But it's about a wife sitting down,

• 25:35Dr. John Delony?

  courageously vulnerable in front of her husband and saying, "I'm feeling myself die, and I've got to make some changes in my life. Will you do this with me? Will you help me feel safe in our house?"

• 25:52Dr. John Delony?

  And he might say, "No."

• 25:57Dr. John Delony?

  And that's different than, "Will you stop drinking?"

• 26:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:03Dr. John Delony?

  But you can't even say, "I miss the old us. I miss you," because you don't even know the guy. You know, 17 beers in guy.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:13Dr. John Delony?

  Or maybe you do know guy who's, it's 11 o'clock on a Saturday morning, he hasn't started drinking yet, and that guy's not great.

• 26:24Dr. John Delony?

  Maybe he is. Maybe he's wonderful.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, he has his days, like, when, you know, like, if he hadn't started drinking yet, and we get along, and we're great, and we have a good day. Um, and then sometimes, he's just, when he's not drinking, he's quiet and walled up, and we don't talk.

• 26:46Dr. John Delony?

  Right.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  And we're just, you know, and then he'll get a few drinks in, and his mood changes, he's happier.

• 26:53Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, of course. It's a social lubricant.

• 26:56Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 26:59Dr. John Delony?

  Like, you said it perfectly. It helps bring the walls down, so that we can be the person that we imagine ourselves wanting to be, instead of dealing with, "Why are we having to build walls around ourself, anyway?"

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:13Dr. John Delony?

  And that's a hard, scary path to take. Plus sobriety's hard.

• 27:24Dr. John Delony?

  But how do you get sober when your husband has no interest in getting sober? You A, fully commit, "This is a path I'm gonna take."

• 27:37Dr. John Delony?

  And B, you've gotta get some support around you, which is why I'm a fan of AA, why I'm a fan of recovery groups, why I'm a fan of other people getting involved, because you can't just cut off the thing that's propping you up, which is alcohol, and you especially can't just disconnect yourself from your husband overnight and expect everything to go smooth.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:58Dr. John Delony?

  Every demon you have will come screaming and howling at you in the middle of the night and the middle of the day.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  That makes sense.

• 28:11Dr. John Delony?

  So the question number one is, do you actually wanna get sober this time?

• 28:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:17Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  I deserve it.

• 28:18Dr. John Delony?

  There you go.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  My son deserves it.

• 28:20Dr. John Delony?

  There we go.

• 28:23Dr. John Delony?

  And so, I'm gonna go to a meeting tonight. "You gonna go to those stupid meetings every day?" Yes, I am. At least for the first 90 days, I am.

• 28:34Dr. John Delony?

  "You don't need a sponsor. We're not even alcoholics. We don't drink too much. I need some help."

• 28:45Dr. John Delony?

  And they're gonna tell ya, "Step one," oh, not step one, there's 12 steps, but they're gonna tell ya, "You gotta get rid of all the alcohol, and you're gonna have to change environments. You can't be around people who are doing that."

• 28:55Dr. John Delony?

  Especially, not forever, but especially right now.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, we really only drink at home.

• 29:04Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah, but is that financial?

• 29:05Speaker 02

  We don't actually, like, we don't go out and party or anything.

• 29:10Dr. John Delony?

  In some ways, that makes it worse. Because if you only drink at parties, you only drink at bars, you still have the safety and security of your home. If you only drink at home, that means those rattlesnakes live there.

• 29:27Dr. John Delony?

  Do you hear what I'm saying?

• 29:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 29:30Dr. John Delony?

  If you told me, "I only do drugs at parties," I would be like, "Sweet, just don't go to parties."

• 29:37Dr. John Delony?

  But when you're like, "No, I only get myself in trouble. I only become somebody I don't, I don't, that I need to protect myself from. I only do that at home." Phew, that's tough. It's tough to change that environment, right?

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:52Dr. John Delony?

  Especially when you're all by yourself.

• 29:55Dr. John Delony?

  It is possible. It's gonna be infinitely harder.

• 30:00Dr. John Delony?

  But you're on the right track with, "I deserve this. My son needs a fully present mom, even if she has two or three or four years of stumbling and grinding through. Why was alcohol the only way I could get through my life?" Your son desperately needs a plugged in dad who doesn't need three or four drinks to be able to exhale and smile and hug his son.

• 30:31Dr. John Delony?

  But you can't do that for him. You can only do it for you.

• 30:37Dr. John Delony?

  So step one, go to a meeting tonight. Step two, go to a meeting in the morning and they're gonna give you a roadmap.

• 30:43Dr. John Delony?

  Sign up for a sponsor as soon as you possibly can.

• 30:50Dr. John Delony?

  And tell your husband, "I want my home to be a safe place. I'm not gonna tell you to stop drinking because I can't. I can't make you do that. But I am telling you, I want this to not be a part of my life anymore. And my prayer is, it's not a part of our life. I deserve it. He deserves it. And God help you, your son deserves it." Today's day one, Destiny. Day one for real. I'm proud of you.

• 31:14Dr. John Delony?

  You get that 30-day chip and you call me back. And maybe we'll talk to your husband at the same time. I'll walk with you. Day one. Proud of you, sister.

• 31:25Dr. John Delony?

  When we come back, a woman asks, "How can she repair her marriage and her finances when her husband keeps having all of these business dreams that are setting everybody back?"

• 31:37Dr. John Delony?

  All right, let me tell you about Hallow, the number one prayer and meditation app in the world. All right, y'all know this, my life is chaotic. I'm a speaker, I'm a writer, I do this show, and most importantly, I'm a husband and I'm a dad. And I listen to the daily gospel on Hallow almost every morning in the car on the way to work. It helps me pause, breathe, and settle in to timeless truth and wisdom. It's become the non-negotiable start to my day. It's a reset button for my head and my heart. And sometimes at night, I'll put on one of Hallow's sleep meditations or a nighttime devotional. Hallow has daily devotionals and thoughtful meditations about prayer and leading a spiritual life, all

• 32:19Dr. John Delony?

  in one place. It's become my go-to app. And here's the bottom line, Hallow helps me make space for peace. So if you want to anchor your day into spiritual truth and wisdom and get ultimate peace, check out Hallow. Right now, when you sign up at hallow.com/deloney, they'll give you three months of the app for free. Go check it out. That's Hallow, H-A-L-L-O-W.com/deloney, for three months for free.

• 32:50Dr. John Delony?

  All right, let's go to Chicago, Illinois, and talk to Nicole. What's up, Nicole?

• 32:54Speaker 03

  Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

• 32:57Dr. John Delony?

  Of course. Thanks for hopping on this morning. What's up? How can I help?

• 33:01Speaker 03

  So I wrote down my question so that I don't kind of phrase it the wrong way. So how do I move forward when my husband's business dream keeps setting us back?

• 33:11Dr. John Delony?

  Tell me about that.

• 33:13Speaker 03

  Well, it's not only relational between us, it's financial, it's emotional, it's physical.

• 33:20Dr. John Delony?

  It's all intertwined. Yeah.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:23Dr. John Delony?

  Yes, it's all intertwined.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  So I, my husband and I have been together for 15 years. We're high school sweethearts. We've been married for eight.

• 33:31Dr. John Delony?

  Gross and awesome.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  And we have two kids under five. And since I've known my husband, he has this, he's always had this very entrepreneurial spirit, um, where like self-employment, working for himself was always the goal. Um, and he kind of did like a side gig when we were in college and it was great for extra money, but we decided it wasn't going forward as a full-time thing. There was just not a lot of longevity there.

• 34:02Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Um, so he decided to, you know, get the degree, take on a full-time job. He was doing really well there and actually had hopes of, um, being a partner in the company someday or being part of that ownership.

• 34:14Dr. John Delony?

  Mm-hmm.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Um, and that leadership role. And unfortunately, things took a turn, um, and they were bought out by somebody different and yada, yada. It goes downhill from there.

• 34:24Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Um, so then my husband faces some emotional setbacks.

• 34:28Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 34:29Speaker 03

  Um, and kind of has this quarter life crisis.

• 34:32Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 34:32Speaker 03

  For better, lack of better words.

• 34:33Dr. John Delony?

  Did he get fired or just, there was just a stop sign? Like you're not going any further?

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Right. There was a stop sign of like, you're not going any further. It was bought out by a different corporation.

• 34:43Dr. John Delony?

  Sure.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  And, and the ladder that he thought was there had been ripped out from under him.

• 34:47Dr. John Delony?

  Perfect. Okay.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  Um, so he was putting all of his time and energy into building something with them for it to be taken away.

• 34:53Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 34:54Speaker 03

  So he stayed with them for a while to see how it would go. And they, on several occasions, told him, you're so great. You're so wonderful, but this is gonna be it.

• 35:01Dr. John Delony?

  Perfect. Okay.

• 35:03Speaker 03

  Um, this is where you're at. You can be here for as long as you want to be here, but you're not climbing anymore.

• 35:07Dr. John Delony?

  Perfect.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  Um, and so that did not fit well with him, obviously. And I, I understood that. So he kind of went back to, well, why don't I revisit the self-employment thing? Um, and so now we're at about nine months of him, um, being completely self-employed. Um, if we were working the baby steps, we had been working them for a long time in the heart of baby step two and.

• 35:31Dr. John Delony?

  So for the people listening, y'all made a commitment to.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Right.

• 35:34Dr. John Delony?

  To not owe anybody any more money, to get out of debts.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:38Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  To get out of debt and to not owe anybody money. Um, and we had never had credit cards. We had never, we'd always paid for everything in cash.

• 35:45Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Um, since we had graduated college, um, and moved in together and got married. And so now we're at the point where we're nine months into a new business that he is doing wonderful work and the clients and the customers are so pleased with him, but the finances just aren't there yet. And he had a large job, he's in construction.

• 36:08Dr. John Delony?

  Mm hmm.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  And he had a large job that he was still learning how to bid out things and how to charge, and it left us almost $10,000 in store credit card debt for materials.

• 36:21Dr. John Delony?

  Hmm.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  And so now we have business debt.

• 36:25Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  And I haven't been able to, I, I manage a lot of the personal finances so that he can help manage the business thing and we're, we're kind of splitting things, which is not how we want to do it, but it's just what is manageable right now.

• 36:40Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Um, and so now I have personal credit card debt because we're going on eight weeks of not getting a paycheck from the business.

• 36:48Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  Um, and I have.

• 36:49Dr. John Delony?

  Hold on, hold on, I can, I can hear your voice quivering.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm sorry.

• 36:53Dr. John Delony?

  Have you, no, no, no, don't be sorry at all. Good grief. This is, this is scary. Have you said all of this out loud to anybody before?

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:01Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 37:04Dr. John Delony?

  It sounds like you're saying it all at once for the first time and it's just, it's, it's heavy.

• 37:10Dr. John Delony?

  Here's my biggest concern of everything that's happening. Okay. Everything you've laid out is, I get it and I'd even go as far to say noble.

• 37:26Dr. John Delony?

  Both of you, I can see, I can feel both of you trying to do the right thing for each other and for yourselves. Okay. You're trying to be a supportive wife. He's trying to be a guy that's just scratching, clawing and making it happen. He's actually good at the work he does. Right? Everybody's trying, but here's the, the big red flag for me. This quote unquote dream, this quote unquote, you looking in the mirror and saying, I'm gonna be a supportive wife. I'm gonna be a supportive wife and him looking in the mirror saying, I'm gonna be a guy that works hard for my family. All of that is pulling you away from the values y'all committed to build your marriage on.

• 38:06Dr. John Delony?

  We are not people who borrow money.

• 38:09Dr. John Delony?

  We are family. We are a couple who always works together and makes decisions together.

• 38:19Dr. John Delony?

  I'll go one step further. I am a man who takes care of my family.

• 38:24Dr. John Delony?

  Right now, he is doing amazing work at a hobby.

• 38:31Dr. John Delony?

  Right?

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:34Dr. John Delony?

  You are a, "I will be a wife who ride or die with this man I've been with since high school. I will be a supportive wife." And that support is causing you to become somebody that goes against who you say you're gonna be also, right? You see where your values are starting to crash into each other?

• 38:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 38:56Dr. John Delony?

  Okay. This is a beautiful moment to turn all the lights on in the house and call something for a second.

• 39:04Dr. John Delony?

  When's the last time you held his face and said, "I can't tell you how proud of you I am for how you're scratching and clawing for me and this family"?

• 39:14Speaker 03

  Not to that extent ever.

• 39:16Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  But I have told him multiple times, especially when he gets down, I'm a fixer. So my initial thought is to come up to him and to say like, "I love how you're working so hard. I'm very proud of all the work that you're doing." You know, but then he'll be like, "But there's a but. There's a but to that."

• 39:33Dr. John Delony?

  That's right.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  And he can hear it in my voice and it is true. And it's hard for me to not be supportive of something that makes him so happy.

• 39:43Dr. John Delony?

  But he's not happy. He's freaking miserable.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Right.

• 39:47Dr. John Delony?

  He's miserable.

• 39:52Dr. John Delony?

  And if he gets a steady dose of, "I love you." And I'm, "I cannot tell you how lucky I feel with all of the men in the country leaving their families, all of the men who won't work hard." I got one that does.

• 40:13Dr. John Delony?

  And you can be an amazing hard worker. You can be an extraordinary gifted craftsman and a terrible business owner. I do corporate events for companies. All they do is they go in and coach and help dentists and doctors and lawyers actually run their business because they are amazing dentists and they're heart surgeons. They can go cut out a heart and put another one in, but they don't know how to run payroll.

• 40:47Dr. John Delony?

  They don't know how to keep supply chain stocked.

• 40:51Dr. John Delony?

  They're different skill sets.

• 40:55Dr. John Delony?

  You get what I'm saying?

• 40:57Speaker 03

  Oh, absolutely. Because that's been a conversation too. And he, he's under the belief that, oh, I'll never make as much money if I go do this for somebody else.

• 41:05Dr. John Delony?

  Mm-hmm. And in the short term, he's actually right, but he's not ever gonna lose as much either. There's two sides to the risk equation.

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Yeah. I agree.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  I mean, there's, there's positives to being his own boss, you know, especially with the young kids. And I work full-time too. So, you know, we are not home with the kids. There's daycare runs and after-school activities and, and things like that. Um, where it's nice for him to not have somebody telling him, oh, no, you can't go pick up your kids. Or you can't, you know, so that there are a lot of positives to being self-employed and to having his own business. And of course, I love those positives.

• 41:48Dr. John Delony?

  But he doesn't, but they're not real right now. They're not realized.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 41:52Dr. John Delony?

  It's a hobby.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 03

  We just keep thinking, well, the next job, we'll, we're gonna get another job. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be better. And he is learning, you know, it's baby steps for him.

• 42:05Dr. John Delony?

  Of course he is. That's why, that's why I'm, I'm so, like, if he was here, I would hug him. And tell you, thank you for being an honorable man.

• 42:17Dr. John Delony?

  And you can be an incredibly honorable man. And the most honest, graceful thing you can give yourself is the words, "Not right now." Or "Not just yet."

• 42:31Dr. John Delony?

  Those two things aren't incompatible. It's not either I go all in on my own business and I just crash and burn. Or maybe we get the one, I mean, it's, it's like golf. You get, you hit one shot and you're like, oh, I can do this, right?

• 42:50Dr. John Delony?

  The next job, it'll be the next job, it'll be the next job. And you, as the person who's keeping the books at home, are just watching this thing slowly slip and slide. More importantly, you're watching your values slip and slide. You're watching your marriage slip and slide. And you're watching the man that you love and you dedicated your life to

• 43:06Dr. John Delony?

  come unwound.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:10Dr. John Delony?

  Fair? Because this impacts, you said it, this impacts your sex life.

• 43:16Dr. John Delony?

  It impacts your, um, just the general laughter and peace in a house, which already is chaotic because you've got two kids under five, right?

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:25Dr. John Delony?

  It impacts everything.

• 43:30Dr. John Delony?

  And so it's circling back to, I need you to hear me say, I'm so proud of you, with a period.

• 43:38Dr. John Delony?

  When so many men bail on their families, I got a guy that's scratching a claw.

• 43:44Dr. John Delony?

  Period.

• 43:46Dr. John Delony?

  And you don't have to fix the next thing.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  So I guess, do we just keep going?

• 43:59Dr. John Delony?

  No.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 44:00Dr. John Delony?

  I always default to a couple of just principles, frameworks for how I live my life and how I coach other people to do it. Human beings are unfathomably resilient, especially the nerd words are in a bounded context. When there's a time limit.

• 44:20Dr. John Delony?

  So anybody, if he had called me before and said, hey, I just realized I'm capped. I can't go any further. I would have said, cool, you have a 12-month exit.

• 44:31Dr. John Delony?

  And that 12-month exit's going to cost you every weekend for the next calendar year. I want you and your wife to sit down and count that cost. Because on the weekends, you're going to miss every soccer game, you're going to miss hunting season, you're going to miss everything. Because you're going to be building your own practice, your own construction deal on the side.

• 44:53Dr. John Delony?

  One customer at a time, learning how to bid jobs, learning how to deal with subs, learning how to tell somebody, a customer, one thing, and then four of your guys don't show up the next morning because somebody else paid them a quarter more an hour. All that stuff. And at the same time, he's got a paycheck coming in, he's got health insurance coming in for his wife and his babies.

• 45:20Dr. John Delony?

  Right?

• 45:21Speaker 03

  And we did have that plan. I mean, and it it worked for about six weeks. We started it in January and he was doing weekends. He'd be gone out of state doing jobs.

• 45:29Dr. John Delony?

  Okay.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  From Thursday through Sunday night and sometimes Thursday through Monday. And it was getting to the point where it looked positive. And we said, well, wow, we've got all these jobs lined up and you don't even have enough time to do them. Um, and I, there was this nagging part of me and it's, it's partially my fault of when he took his exit because I had this nagging of, well, I, I'd really like to have a good savings account first, or I'd really like to pay off all our debt first. We could do it in 18 months. And I didn't speak up.

• 45:58Dr. John Delony?

  There we go.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  And

• 46:00Dr. John Delony?

  Hey, listen.

• 46:01Speaker 03

  And I did say it at some points, but then he would, he would just be so miserable.

• 46:05Dr. John Delony?

  I know.

• 46:06Speaker 03

  And so I gave in. And I said, fine, just go ahead. You know, so it wasn't that we didn't have those conversations first.

• 46:13Dr. John Delony?

  I, I know, I know. But those conversations were always with, like he, like you said it perfectly with the dot, dot, dot and the but after it.

• 46:22Dr. John Delony?

  Meaning,

• 46:25Dr. John Delony?

  I didn't speak up in real time.

• 46:28Dr. John Delony?

  I hoped that he just knew. He kept saying he was going to be miserable.

• 46:35Dr. John Delony?

  You knew that actually he was going to be super miserable if one of these jobs didn't work out, or he's gonna be winning at work, but he's gonna be connected to the most important person in his world, his wife, and she's gonna be scared and unsafe. And when I get scared and unsafe, you get scared and unsafe, you nitpick, you point out, you try to fix, you close down emotionally or centrally, like all those things that all of us do naturally. And it just creates this weird figure eight dance, right?

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Yes, absolutely.

• 47:08Dr. John Delony?

  And so there's something powerful about you over owning, right?

• 47:15Dr. John Delony?

  And you saying, "I want to have a hard conversation and I need you to stay present."

• 47:21Dr. John Delony?

  No leaving the table, no saying, "Oh, I'm gonna..." I just, I want to put everything on the table.

• 47:28Dr. John Delony?

  Number one, I'm so proud of you, I can't even see straight. Number two, there's multiple moments over the last year that I didn't speak up, and that's on me.

• 47:38Dr. John Delony?

  And because I didn't speak up, you got a scared shell of a wife, and I'm sorry.

• 47:47Dr. John Delony?

  Number three, we gotta be honest about the finances of this job. It speaks in nothing about your skillset, nothing about your dream, none of that. We just have to be honest about the math problem we have right now.

• 48:03Dr. John Delony?

  And if he can't sit present in that, then you all have bigger issues in your marriage I need to go deal with.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  Oh, no, he could.

• 48:10Dr. John Delony?

  I know he can. I know he can. I said that for the audience listening, because there's gonna be somebody listening who's like, "Well, he would never..." I know. Your guy sounds amazing. You sound amazing. And I think that's the hard part, is you can have two awesome people that are struggling at being married, or two awesome people that are struggling in being parents, or two awesome, amazing people, who are both hard workers, both all-in, and yet, the business isn't working out. You get what I'm saying?

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:35Dr. John Delony?

  And when you make being an entrepreneur your identity, instead of, "I'll be a guy who shows up for my family",

• 48:44Dr. John Delony?

  that needs to reemerge as the identity.

• 48:54Dr. John Delony?

  You get what I'm saying?

• 48:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:55Dr. John Delony?

  And you reemerge as a wife who, "I will never not speak my mind again, even in the short term, if it's gonna make my husband feel uncomfortable."

• 49:10Dr. John Delony?

  Because now he feels your discomfort, you feel his discomfort, and he's trying to do everything he can, so you're not uncomfortable, and you're trying to do everything you can for his, so he's not uncomfortable. And now you're borrowing money, he's bidding jobs under so he can get the job, and he loses money, and now we have a mess. You get what I'm saying?

• 49:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 49:26Dr. John Delony?

  Yeah. And I guess I want you to hear me say, on this side of it, this is the best kind of call I can take. Because I have two people that are all in on each other. It's just gotten cloudy, and the sun's gonna come back out. Thank you for the call, sister. I see a really bright future for y'all's marriage, and for his business, and for everything. Because for the first time, not for the first time, but forever, you're gonna start never leaving the table without having said what you believe and what you want, even if it

• 50:06Dr. John Delony?

  causes short-term discomfort. Thanks for the call, sister. We'll be right back. I'm always talking about sleep. Why? Because sleep matters. I've struggled with sleep for years. And when I don't sleep, I'm impatient, I'm distracted, and I'm not the dad, husband, friend, or coworker that I want to be. And that's why I'm pumped to tell you about something that's truly helped me sleep better: Beam's Nighttime Dream Powder. Y'all, this stuff is amazing. A few months ago, my neighbors, who are professional athletes, they told me about this stuff. I tried it, and I'm telling you, it has changed how I sleep. Dream

• 50:47Dr. John Delony?

  is a blend of science-backed ingredients, including reishi, magnesium, L-theanine, epigenin, melatonin, and more. And it helps you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. I track my sleep, and this stuff works. And it's delicious. Beam has no weird chemicals, and here's the best part: I wake up sharp and not groggy. Right now, Beam is offering up to 50% off their best-selling Dream Powder with my code DELONY at shopbeam.com/delony. That's the lowest price they've ever offered, and it's only for my audience. Go to shopbeam.com/delony and use code DELONY to start sleeping better tonight.

• 51:31Dr. John Delony?

  All right, Kelly, something awesome happened.

• 51:33Speaker 04

  So this is from Jonathan in McKinney, Texas, and he writes, "I've always avoided conversations about a loved one passing away because I never knew what to say to someone who was grieving. You taught me to ask the bereaved what their loved one's name was and the favorite memory that they have of the deceased. What a game changer that advice has been. I love seeing the smile come across the face as they think of their favorite memory. It feels like asking those questions is honoring both the dead and the grieving family member. Thank you for giving me that tool and to make a connection with a hurting person. DTID, which is Dallas till I die, and go Rangers."

• 52:10Dr. John Delony?

  Could have done without that last part, Jonathan.

• 52:15Speaker 04

  Jonathan's a very smart human being.

• 52:17Dr. John Delony?

  That feels like that was a huge bait and switch to say, "Go Rangers." So I will say, dude, thank you so much for listening to the show and for putting these things into practice and honoring hurting people. It's amazing. I'm proud of you. And

• 52:30Dr. John Delony?

  H-Town, get your hachays up and go Strohs. For life. Peace out.