Best of BNCMAP 2024

SUBSCRIBE TO THE BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com The Kelly Clarkson collection chairs have seen it all, from Voldemort's Megan knees to Brooke’s DOMs diagnosis and beyond. We even studied abroad in Philly with Aunt Suesue! We’ve had an incredible year thanks to you and we can’t wait for more adventures in 2025! Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/ Check out https://rocketrx.com and use code BANDC40 for 40% off your first order. Give the gift of Good Wipes this holiday season! Grab them at Target, Walmart, Kroger, and your local grocery store. Stay hydrated through the holidays and get 20% off your first order of Liquid I. V. at https://liquidiv.com with code BANDC at checkout. B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/ B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/ TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood. 0:00 Thanks you guys!!! 0:50 Intro 1:08 Sweaty pits (Ep 102) 2:15 Brookes scares Connor (Ep 104) 2:59 New AI scams (Ep 105) 4:57 Who farted? (Ep 106) 8:50 Puhh— (Ep 109) 10:38 rocketRx 11:38 FMK (Ep 110) 12:13 Underground railroad simulation (Ep 111) 13:33 Aunt Suesue! (Ep 112) 15:45 Connor leaving the Zoom (Ep 114) 1647 No? (Ep 116) 17:20 Dood (Ep 119) 18:00 But Officer… (Ep 120) 19:47 Brooke’s DOMs (Ep 123) 22:47 goodwipes 24:16 Fibula’s feminist takes (Ep 124) 26:36 Redownloading Hinge (Ep 124) 28:51 Kat and Connor get pulled over (Ep 125) 37:12 Brooke’s bottle smash (Ep 125) 39:12 Liquid IV 41:04 Just say his name (Ep 126) 41:39 Cuck queen (Ep 126) 44:39 Brooke’s DMs (Ep 128) 46:47 Connor’s spider propaganda (Ep 129) 52:21 Hi my love! (Ep 130) 53:45 Chinese ribs (Ep 132) 54:53 Tristan’s language (Ep 134) 57:36 Lying vs Laying in bars (Ep 137) 59:01 Brooke’s DOMs pt 2 (Ep 138) 1:02:25 George Pitt (Ep 142) 1:04:18 Brooke’s stress dream (Ep 143) 1:06:03 Connor’s mesh shorts (Ep 143) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Connor Wood?

  Hey, guys. Thanks so much for joining us.

• 1:03Brooke Averick?

  Thanks so much for watching BNC this year.

• 1:05Connor Wood?

  Thanks so much for joining us and watching BNC this year.

• 1:08Brooke Averick?

  I think this was my favorite year of podcasting.

• 1:10Connor Wood?

  Me, too. It kind of finally feels like we have grown into our...

• 1:15Brooke Averick?

  Into the Kelly Clarkson collection.

• 1:17Connor Wood?

  Yeah. We're kind of sitting here, and these are in our own right, you know?

• 1:22Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:23Connor Wood?

  I feel like I'm finally fit into my clothes.

• 1:26Brooke Averick?

  It feels like everybody's in them with us, too.

• 1:28Connor Wood?

  And it feels like no one's against us.

• 1:31Brooke Averick?

  Which is awesome.

• 1:31Connor Wood?

  There's a couple people that are actively against us.

• 1:34Brooke Averick?

  Well, maybe this episode will change their mind. Let's hit it, boys.

• 1:39Connor Wood?

  Welcome to the best of 2024. Buckle up.

• 1:43Brooke Averick?

  Really? Ho, ho, ho!

• 1:45Connor Wood?

  Ho! Ho, ho.

• 2:08Brooke Averick?

  Can you look at my pit stains in this shirt?

• 2:09Connor Wood?

  Oh, I can see them every time you stretch.

• 2:11Brooke Averick?

  I never get pit stains.

• 2:13Connor Wood?

  Um, your shirt, like, I like it, but I think February is my least favorite month.

• 2:18Brooke Averick?

  Can I ask what that has to do with the shirt?

• 2:19Connor Wood?

  It's like hearts in pink.

• 2:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay. This is my new favorite shirt, but...

• 2:27Brooke Averick?

  Some... There's something wrong with the manufacturing. That's not my... That's not... That's not my fault. This is a manufacturing error.

• 2:35Connor Wood?

  I think that... I think it's just low thread count.

• 2:38Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, it's low thread count. It's not my... Have I been lifting my arms the whole episode? Sorry.

• 2:43Connor Wood?

  It's fine. I've also got a full-

• 2:46Brooke Averick?

  Yay!

• 2:48Brooke Averick?

  Yay, yay, yay!

• 2:50Connor Wood?

  I've got a full jacket on. I'm drenched under that.

• 2:52Brooke Averick?

  Why didn't you tell me?

• 2:53Connor Wood?

  What am I gonna say?

• 2:54Brooke Averick?

  You have horrible pit stains?

• 2:57Connor Wood?

  It's fu... Everybody has pit stains.

• 2:59Brooke Averick?

  I know. I just don't usually get them.

• 3:01Connor Wood?

  Um, I feel like-

• 3:03Brooke Averick?

  I think it's my wet deodorant, because I got that wet Old Spice, like the-

• 3:06Connor Wood?

  Well, I'll never switch from the wet Old Spice.

• 3:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I'm doing wet Old Spice, like the clear. So, that's what it is. I don't sweat. So, it's Old Spice.

• 3:13Connor Wood?

  No, me neither. Hi, Connor Earl. Hi, Connor. That's okay.

• 3:21Connor Wood?

  We're going upstairs. She'll be down in a second.

• 3:26Connor Wood?

  Oh, I'm gonna be like, "Really?"

• 3:34Brooke Averick?

  Yay!

• 3:35Connor Wood?

  That's not funny at all.

• 3:36Brooke Averick?

  No. No, it's not.

• 3:41Connor Wood?

  Oh, my heart. Oh, you're wearing your Lingua Franca?

• 3:44Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. My... What is it?

• 3:45Connor Wood?

  Lingua Franca?

• 3:46Brooke Averick?

  Lingua Franca. Yeah, I am.

• 3:50Brooke Averick?

  Good, not great.

• 3:51Connor Wood?

  Oh, sorry.

• 3:55Brooke Averick?

  Nice of you to show up. What was happening? Tell us in detail.

• 3:57Connor Wood?

  Got my ass. I've noticed a new scam. And buyer beware, because you know how it used to be? Scams used to be like, oh my god, I have to show you this. You're gonna pee. Scams used to be like, "I am a prince. I need, I'm gonna send you a million dollars." My grandma called one time and it was like, "There's a Nigerian prince that wants to send me money, but I like, don't have wifi."

• 4:26Brooke Averick?

  How did he contact her?

• 4:27Connor Wood?

  How do you think, like, on the phone? Which was crazy. And I was like, Grandma, like, really, let's think about this. And she was able to come to terms with that. But now, I got this the other day.

• 4:42Connor Wood?

  How in the world is my grandma supposed to survive modern day, where Jennifer Aniston is leading the world's largest MacBook Pro giveaway?

• 4:52Speaker 04

  ...video, you're one of the 10,000 lucky people who'll get MacBook Pro for just $10. Jennifer Aniston here, and I'm doing the world's largest MacBook giveaway. Just go to my site below and claim yours now.

• 5:02Brooke Averick?

  So that's AI?

• 5:04Connor Wood?

  This video of Jennifer Aniston is gonna single-handedly tear down every baby boomer on the planet.

• 5:10Brooke Averick?

  That, like, that's AI, right?

• 5:12Connor Wood?

  Yeah, it's AI.

• 5:12Brooke Averick?

  Or did they like, mix together clips of Jennifer Aniston?

• 5:15Connor Wood?

  No, it's AI.

• 5:16Brooke Averick?

  So that has to be illegal?

• 5:18Connor Wood?

  It is, but like, it's, I think it's so hard to regulate.

• 5:20Brooke Averick?

  I guess scams are illegal, anyway.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  ...you're one of the 10,000 lucky people who'll get MacBook Pro for just $10.

• 5:25Brooke Averick?

  Let me see her.

• 5:26Connor Wood?

  You're one of the lucky 10,000 people that will be getting MacBook Pro for just $10.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  ...you're one of the 10,000 lucky people who'll get MacBook Pro for just $10. Jennifer Aniston here, and I'm doing the world's largest MacBook Pro giveaway.

• 5:39Connor Wood?

  For just $10? I'm Jennifer Aniston.

• 5:42Brooke Averick?

  She also like, looks adamant, like a cartoon.

• 5:45Connor Wood?

  I'm Jennifer Aniston, I'm running MacBook Pro giveaway for just $10. You may know me from Friends.

• 5:51Connor Wood?

  You Gunther? Smelly Cat? Friend?

• 5:55Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's really good Connor.

• 5:56Speaker 05

  Honestly, like, I am a very honest person. I'll fucking lie to get out of a fart in a certain situation.

• 6:03Brooke Averick?

  Like, in what way?

• 6:04Speaker 05

  Like, if people are like, "What is that?", I'll be like, "That's crazy. Whoa."

• 6:08Connor Wood?

  I don't even know what was that, you guys.

• 6:10Brooke Averick?

  Did I ever tell you what happened?

• 6:11Speaker 05

  I don't smell it. That's a good... It hasn't come to me yet.

• 6:13Connor Wood?

  Hasn't reached...

• 6:14Speaker 05

  It hasn't reached me, so it couldn't have been from me.

• 6:16Brooke Averick?

  Did I tell the story of what happened to me in 3rd grade computers class?

• 6:19Connor Wood?

  No.

• 6:20Speaker 05

  Oh, this sounds like a...

• 6:21Brooke Averick?

  It's actually... This is gonna be one of those things where it's like, "Why did I say that? It's a horrible story, but I'll tell you anyway."

• 6:25Speaker 05

  But if it affected you, it's important.

• 6:26Brooke Averick?

  It did affect me pretty deeply. Um, I was answering a question about... Something about the, um, computer game Zumbinis, if you guys ever... What? Did you fart? Did you fart?

• 6:38Connor Wood?

  My Kelly Clarkson Wavefront Collection chair was just kind of going ham in the mic just now, but... Like, I just needed to reship because my camo... My camo slacks were going up my asscrack like a G-string.

• 6:50Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, okay.

• 6:51Connor Wood?

  So I was trying to pull them out of my asscrack, and in doing so, I made this sound.

• 6:55Brooke Averick?

  Hey, man, no worries.

• 6:57Speaker 05

  It went off for like, 6 seconds too long.

• 6:58Brooke Averick?

  No worries, let me know when I can go on with my story.

• 7:01Connor Wood?

  Computer class.

• 7:02Speaker 05

  She's talking about her childhood trauma.

• 7:04Brooke Averick?

  Take your time.

• 7:05Connor Wood?

  Computer class.

• 7:06Brooke Averick?

  Moving and grieving.

• 7:07Speaker 05

  She was about to cry.

• 7:08Connor Wood?

  Let's make a mental note. Need some WD-40 for the leather? Please, computer class. How many words per minute are you?

• 7:17Brooke Averick?

  Um, I don't know, off the top of my head. Probably like... Yeah, I was gonna say 8.

• 7:21Connor Wood?

  Could not spell.

• 7:22Brooke Averick?

  On a good day.

• 7:23Speaker 05

  With one finger.

• 7:24Brooke Averick?

  But anyway, I was answering some sort of question in computers class, and in the middle of answering the question, I farted. Like, pretty loudly. And I could've just, like, kept talking, but I stopped what I was doing. I said, "Who did that?"

• 7:38Speaker 05

  You just gaslit the whole room.

• 7:40Brooke Averick?

  Everyone knew it was me. It was so clear. I was at the front of the class speaking. A loud, like, bubbly fart came out of me. No one said anything and my computer teacher was like, "It's okay, just go on." I said, "No." I cannot go on right now. Who did that? Who did that? This is disgusting, who did that?

• 7:58Connor Wood?

  The lights turn off, like, it's like a murder mystery party.

• 8:02Speaker 05

  You get a flashlight, why would you do that?

• 8:04Brooke Averick?

  And the computer teacher was like, "Brooke, like, it's okay."

• 8:06Connor Wood?

  You sick fuck.

• 8:08Brooke Averick?

  It happens, no worries, just keep going. I would not continue.

• 8:11Speaker 05

  You go, "My enemies are trying to sabotage my performance right now."

• 8:14Brooke Averick?

  I would not go on.

• 8:15Connor Wood?

  She's in a Nancy Drew, like, hat and magnifying glass.

• 8:17Speaker 05

  I love how a third of you is a third grader, who did that?

• 8:20Connor Wood?

  Who did that?

• 8:21Brooke Averick?

  I would not continue my train of thought, I sat back down. Could not have continued, not knowing who did that.

• 8:28Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh.

• 8:29Brooke Averick?

  Not one person didn't know it was me, by the way.

• 8:31Speaker 05

  Wait, this story's really killing me. This is really funny.

• 8:34Brooke Averick?

  And then a similar thing happened, actually, now that you mention it, thank you for asking. In geometry class, we were taking a test, and I was sitting next to my friend Jen, and she farted loudly. And then before the fart was even out, she goes, "Bro."

• 8:49Speaker 05

  No. Okay, that's, I'll end a friendship because of that, that is fucked up.

• 8:53Brooke Averick?

  Because we were sitting, it was me, her, and the boy she liked.

• 8:56Speaker 05

  Oh, so she wanted to sacrifice you.

• 8:57Brooke Averick?

  So I had to think in that moment, "Am I gonna fall, am I gonna fall on the sword?" For Jen at this time. I couldn't.

• 9:04Speaker 05

  Who's name is Janet in third grade?

• 9:06Brooke Averick?

  Jen.

• 9:06Connor Wood?

  Jen, you bitch.

• 9:07Brooke Averick?

  This is nice for geometry.

• 9:09Connor Wood?

  You know your lactose intolerant. Why'd you eat that cup of ice cream?

• 9:14Speaker 05

  I will never smell a fart and start playing the Investagator game. I think that's like fucked up. Like, if you smell it, it's good karma to just like, let that person live. That person is like, "Who did it?"

• 9:25Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 9:25Speaker 05

  Who did it? Like, why, are you gonna arrest someone?

• 9:27Connor Wood?

  The scariest thing in the world is the sentence, "You smelt it, you dealt it."

• 9:32Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, that fucked me up.

• 9:33Brooke Averick?

  That was the beginning of gaslighting.

• 9:36Connor Wood?

  You're right!

• 9:36Brooke Averick?

  That was the origin story of gaslighting.

• 9:38Speaker 05

  That's why I always go, "I can't smell anything, I have a sinus infection."

• 9:42Connor Wood?

  I have COVID.

• 9:43Brooke Averick?

  That's what, it's always the person that didn't smell it that smelled it, usually.

• 9:48Connor Wood?

  I just said this weekend and it reminded me that this weekend I was walked into the bathroom on twice.

• 9:53Brooke Averick?

  Would you rather walk in on someone in the bathroom or be walked in on?

• 9:56Connor Wood?

  When I walk in on someone in the bathroom, I leave the premises completely.

• 10:00Brooke Averick?

  That's the only thing that you can do to be a decent human being. The fact that somebody would walk in on you and then still continue to wait outside of the restroom is sadistic.

• 10:11Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I agree.

• 10:12Brooke Averick?

  It's sadistic. They are a psychopath. They're a sociopath. They are no better than Legion.

• 10:19Connor Wood?

  Okay, I, yeah.

• 10:21Brooke Averick?

  Of that part 59 series, the husband and the wife.

• 10:22Connor Wood?

  Legion, yeah. I was, I was gonna say, what I didn't say about that is I was walked in on twice, twice by the same person. The la-

• 10:30Brooke Averick?

  What were you doing?

• 10:31Connor Wood?

  The la-

• 10:48Connor Wood?

  Need I say more?

• 10:49Brooke Averick?

  Got it?

• 10:50Connor Wood?

  Yeah, the latch was broken and I shut it and he knocked the first time and I said, I said, "Hello."

• 10:59Brooke Averick?

  Dude, stop coming in.

• 11:11Connor Wood?

  I said, I said, "Hello."

• 11:12Brooke Averick?

  See ya.

• 11:16Connor Wood?

  Hey, man, can't you see, over here?

• 11:20Connor Wood?

  You stay down, try to-

• 11:22Brooke Averick?

  Come on, man.

• 11:30Brooke Averick?

  I know, I know.

• 11:37Connor Wood?

  Fuck, marry, kill, live, laugh, love.

• 11:41Brooke Averick?

  Kill, live.

• 11:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 11:46Brooke Averick?

  Marry, laugh. Uh, no.

• 11:48Connor Wood?

  You're fucking love.

• 11:49Brooke Averick?

  No, I'll fuck, laugh, marry, love.

• 11:53Brooke Averick?

  And yourself?

• 11:54Connor Wood?

  I'm marrying Liv.

• 11:57Connor Wood?

  Um.

• 11:57Brooke Averick?

  Why?

• 11:59Connor Wood?

  Because I'd like, I would like to continue living alongside Liv. Um, I'm fucking laugh and I'm killing love.

• 12:07Brooke Averick?

  Damn.

• 12:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah. That's my Valentine's Day mood.

• 12:11Brooke Averick?

  Happy V Day. Mine would probably be the Underground Railroad simulation that we had to do.

• 12:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah. What did you guys do?

• 12:19Brooke Averick?

  The Underground Railroad?

• 12:20Connor Wood?

  Rrrr.

• 12:20Brooke Averick?

  Underground Railroad simulation.

• 12:23Connor Wood?

  Rock us through that again?

• 12:24Brooke Averick?

  We always went on like an overnight trip and we were at some overnight camp and then all of a sudden the teachers just turned off all the lights and said, "Get down, get down." What, we had to completely move through the Underground Railroad.

• 12:38Connor Wood?

  That makes sense to do.

• 12:40Brooke Averick?

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, oh god, yeah. Also, this is absolutely like not okay nowadays. Like completely not PC. Um, but this was just like the reality of the situation when I was in 3rd grade. We were learning about Native Americans and we went, we had to go on a spirit quest.

• 13:00Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 13:00Brooke Averick?

  To find our spirit animal. They let 20 3rd graders loose in the forest.

• 13:08Connor Wood?

  There's also-

• 13:09Brooke Averick?

  For hours on end.

• 13:10Connor Wood?

  You have, you were in like the, one of probably the most progressive school in America. There is a way to be so progressive that you're actually pretty racist.

• 13:17Brooke Averick?

  Connor, that's exactly what it was.

• 13:19Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 13:19Brooke Averick?

  But they had, we had no idea at the time.

• 13:22Connor Wood?

  Yeah, that is crazy.

• 13:23Brooke Averick?

  Now, looking back, like some of the most racist offensive activities. Underground Railroad simulation, spirit quests.

• 13:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 13:31Brooke Averick?

  Oh my god.

• 13:32Connor Wood?

  Guys, we have someone so special here today. I'm gonna, I'm gonna hand it to Brooke to announce, just this is my new best friend that I met yesterday in person for the first time, but I've known him for my entire life, probably before I was born. We met crossing paths in the before life. Um, in some other realm and we felt that yesterday.

• 13:52Brooke Averick?

  There is a soul connection, but you guys know my Aunt Susu. We talk about her all the time.

• 13:56Connor Wood?

  Woo-hoo!

• 13:57Brooke Averick?

  She's the greatest. Come on over, Seuss.

• 14:00Connor Wood?

  Seuss.

• 14:01Brooke Averick?

  You can, here, wait, Izzy, should she take my microphone? Okay, we can. Susu, how do you, how are you feeling right now? I'm a wreck. Why? I'm just so nervous, but I'm so, I'm so like honored to be with these-

• 14:18Speaker 06

  Two very special people sitting beside me. I just love Connor. He is my new number one. Sorry. Um, what's his name? Robert Pattinson. Pattinson and Gosling, although I still love Ryan. But this one is my number one now.

• 14:40Connor Wood?

  I love you to death.

• 14:41Speaker 06

  There we go.

• 14:41Connor Wood?

  My favorite thing is that like Sushi yesterday said that I kinda look like Ryan Gosling, which I've never gotten ever.

• 14:47Speaker 06

  Said what?

• 14:48Connor Wood?

  That I kinda look like Ryan Gosling.

• 14:50Speaker 06

  Oh, my God. I don't even, I think he might be better looking.

• 14:54Connor Wood?

  I don't know if there's a gas leak or something. I don't look like it. I'm so flattered.

• 15:00Speaker 06

  Don't be flattered. It's true. It's just real.

• 15:02Connor Wood?

  That's the nicest thing genuinely anything is it. So that's why I like, I went into my set yesterday so, so freaking pumped to my shows because Sushi said I looked like Ryan Gosling and I, I carried that with me for six hours yesterday.

• 15:15Speaker 06

  Well, that's good. It was a little upbeat.

• 15:17Connor Wood?

  It was an oomph.

• 15:18Speaker 06

  A little, yeah, a boost. But, but it's, it's, um, I'm just so proud of my brookie, my first love and

• 15:29Speaker 06

  so amazing what they're doing and

• 15:34Speaker 06

  that's it.

• 15:36Connor Wood?

  Well, I'm sure.

• 15:36Speaker 06

  Great intro, Sushi. You really are a natural. A hundred percent, a hundred and fifty percent.

• 15:42Connor Wood?

  Right now, it's just us. Wow.

• 15:45Speaker 06

  Whoa.

• 15:45Connor Wood?

  Wow.

• 15:46Speaker 06

  Let's talk about it in the bonus.

• 15:49Connor Wood?

  I couldn't leave my house. Okay.

• 15:50Speaker 06

  I know, I know.

• 15:52Connor Wood?

  Um, okay. All right. Okay. All right.

• 15:55Speaker 06

  Okay. Oh, okay. There it is again.

• 15:57Connor Wood?

  Okay. All right. We'll see you in the bonus.

• 16:00Speaker 06

  Bye, everyone.

• 16:00Connor Wood?

  Bye, everybody.

• 16:28Speaker 07

  That was so funny.

• 16:32Speaker 07

  Did we, was it still recording? Yup, 100%.

• 16:38Speaker 07

  That's so funny. That was good.

• 16:44Connor Wood?

  I'm surprised there's not more tsunamis. There, I said it.

• 16:48Brooke Averick?

  Um, yeah, there should be as many tsunamis as there are earthquakes.

• 16:52Connor Wood?

  No?

• 16:54Brooke Averick?

  No, I'm not saying there should, like I want that. I'm saying...

• 16:58Connor Wood?

  I know your heart. I know, I meant like-

• 16:59Brooke Averick?

  I'm saying like, wouldn't any earthquake-

• 17:02Connor Wood?

  I'm-

• 17:02Brooke Averick?

  -start a tsunami off?

• 17:03Connor Wood?

  I, I meant, I meant, like, Europe, European, no, like, like-

• 17:09Brooke Averick?

  We-

• 17:09Connor Wood?

  This is a gorgeous day, no? Like, that's what I meant.

• 17:16Brooke Averick?

  What? Wait, what did you, what, what are we talking about?

• 17:19Connor Wood?

  You, you said, shouldn't there be as many tsunamis as earthquakes? And I said, no?

• 17:25Connor Wood?

  Like, I was agreeing with you.

• 17:27Brooke Averick?

  Oh, sorry. My bad for not knowing no means I'm agreeing with you. Oh my-

• 17:31Connor Wood?

  It's a gorgeous day, no?

• 17:34Brooke Averick?

  We've gotta move on from science today, cuz it's not a good look.

• 17:38Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 17:39Brooke Averick?

  Dude.

• 17:39Connor Wood?

  No, dude, I'm not doing it, dude.

• 17:40Brooke Averick?

  Dude, come on, dude.

• 17:42Connor Wood?

  No, dude, you come on, dude.

• 17:44Brooke Averick?

  Dude, please, dude.

• 17:47Connor Wood?

  Dude, hear me out, I'm-

• 17:48Brooke Averick?

  Dude, come on.

• 17:52Connor Wood?

  Dude, no!

• 17:52Brooke Averick?

  Come on, dude, I don't ask you for much, dude.

• 17:55Connor Wood?

  Come on, hear me out, dude.

• 17:57Brooke Averick?

  Just hear me out for one second, dude.

• 17:59Connor Wood?

  Now I'm back to being like, nobody can fucking drive. I've like, switched back to that team. Cuz there's a bunch of morons on the road.

• 18:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, but it's just a matter, I get what you're saying about how there should be more wrecks.

• 18:09Connor Wood?

  Yeah. It's just, like, sometimes I'm driving, when I was driving here, I'm like, I'm going 72 miles per hour?

• 18:17Brooke Averick?

  On a residential street?

• 18:18Connor Wood?

  I'm just flying, and I'm like- Like, fully just like, thinking about, um, french fries and like, oh my gosh, where is, like, I should, you know, just random stuff.

• 18:34Brooke Averick?

  Totally.

• 18:35Connor Wood?

  Like, when's the last time I've, I need to be able to touch my toes, you know, like, certain stuff like that, and I'm thinking about, well, I'm going seventy, in the seventy mile per hour range?

• 18:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 18:45Connor Wood?

  And I'm behind a thousands and thousands of pound piece of metal.

• 18:50Brooke Averick?

  Yes. I also, some people, myself, like, at the top of the list, should not have access to their music while they're driving.

• 18:58Connor Wood?

  Oh. I just know if I got pulled over, I'd be like, oh, but Officer, it was, it was the Four Peas.

• 19:03Brooke Averick?

  But Officer, it was the Glee version.

• 19:06Connor Wood?

  But Officer, it was, and the beat keep running, running, and running, running, and running, running.

• 19:14Brooke Averick?

  But Officer, the beat just dropped and boom, boom, pow.

• 19:17Connor Wood?

  But Officer, what's that one song that I say I could, I could fight a wild animal to, by the Four Peas? I can't stop calling them that after I've read that one tweet. It's like intellectual.

• 19:27Brooke Averick?

  It's not, let's get it started.

• 19:29Connor Wood?

  No, it's, uh-

• 19:30Brooke Averick?

  It's not, pow, I got a feeling.

• 19:32Connor Wood?

  Pump it, parentheses louder.

• 19:34Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 19:36Connor Wood?

  They were on to something when they put that extra part in parentheses. I know you're pumping it right now, I need you to pump it.

• 19:45Connor Wood?

  Come on.

• 19:46Brooke Averick?

  So, Connor.

• 19:47Connor Wood?

  Italy, Italy might be. It, Italy is, anyways, it doesn't matter.

• 19:51Brooke Averick?

  Thing is, they can't drop you with your suitcases-

• 19:55Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 19:56Brooke Averick?

  At your, at the Airbnb.

• 19:58Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 19:59Brooke Averick?

  You have to drag them, not only down the steps to your Airbnb, but back up.

• 20:04Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 20:05Brooke Averick?

  So, um, we were, like, at the bottom, like, on the beach, so that was definitely something that took a lot of time and energy on my part, especially because, you know, my suitcase is twenty-seven pounds, and for a little girl.

• 20:18Connor Wood?

  What, are you a CrossFit queen?

• 20:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, right? Connor, it was the next day, I was diagnosed with DOMS.

• 20:30Connor Wood?

  Why are you laughing? What does it mean?

• 20:33Brooke Averick?

  D O M S.

• 20:34Connor Wood?

  D O M S. Is it something, this is, okay.

• 20:39Connor Wood?

  Country of origin?

• 20:41Brooke Averick?

  English.

• 20:43Connor Wood?

  D O M S. Um, okay. Can you use it in a sentence?

• 20:47Brooke Averick?

  I was diagnosed with DOMS the second day in Positano.

• 20:51Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 20:53Connor Wood?

  Is it, is this is, um... This is how you say, um...

• 20:58Brooke Averick?

  I came down with a bad case of the DOMS.

• 21:01Connor Wood?

  You're shitting your pants, but like via Domino's? Is that what it is? DOMS. DOMS. D O M S. Do you know what it is?

• 21:09Brooke Averick?

  Delayed onset muscle soreness? Yes! Oh my god, have you been diagnosed before? No, but I've had it before. You've had DOMS?

• 21:16Connor Wood?

  Here I am, thinking you made up a new word for like...

• 21:19Brooke Averick?

  Because I've had like that kind of thing before, like with F45 when I couldn't move. This was a to- this was, it actually, this had me Googling, like, wh- wh- what's, what's wrong? And, and that's how I was diagnosed with DOMS.

• 21:33Connor Wood?

  Delayed onset muscle soreness, isn't that just like, I'm sore from yesterday?

• 21:35Brooke Averick?

  No, Connor, but, yes, but in a way that it's actually needing a term to be diagnosed because it was so, I was, literally had to go down the stairs on my butt the next day because I couldn't bend my legs straight. And I'm not being dramatic, DOMS should be taken very seriously.

• 21:53Connor Wood?

  Well, I mean, I like call in to work because I, I worked out yesterday and DOMS.

• 21:57Brooke Averick?

  Connor, I'm telling you, it was that bad? If I was someone's boss and they called me and said, "I have DOMS, I can't come in", I would say, "Oh my god, please take all the time that you need to, to get well and stay home and recovered." It was really...

• 22:09Connor Wood?

  You couldn't get a break out there.

• 22:10Brooke Averick?

  Connor couldn't get, couldn't get a damn break.

• 22:14Brooke Averick?

  Are you okay?

• 22:14Connor Wood?

  I don't know what that was.

• 22:17Speaker 00

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• 22:47Speaker 01

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• 23:17Connor Wood?

  I'm getting back into eggs.

• 23:19Brooke Averick?

  Oh. I dropped a whole carton of eggs on the floor this morning. Speaking of eggs.

• 23:25Connor Wood?

  So you're kind of getting back.

• 23:26Brooke Averick?

  I'm getting out of eggs right now.

• 23:28Connor Wood?

  You're getting out of eggs?

• 23:29Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 23:29Connor Wood?

  And the way the universe works is I'm getting into eggs.

• 23:32Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Let's get you slipped into something a little bit more comfortable.

• 23:36Connor Wood?

  Yeah. For every...

• 23:38Brooke Averick?

  Slip into your shell.

• 23:39Connor Wood?

  For every one egg closed, another egg opens.

• 23:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 23:43Connor Wood?

  Vice versa as well.

• 23:45Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 23:46Connor Wood?

  Why are you discontinuing watermelon icebreakers? Why don't you discontinue hate?

• 23:52Brooke Averick?

  Why don't you thought of that?

• 23:52Connor Wood?

  Why don't you discontinue misogyny? Why don't you discontinue...

• 23:58Brooke Averick?

  Exactly.

• 23:59Connor Wood?

  Homophobia.

• 23:59Brooke Averick?

  Exactly. I'm glad someone said it.

• 24:03Connor Wood?

  Someone had to, Brooke. I'm happy to...

• 24:05Brooke Averick?

  Some man had to take a stand.

• 24:08Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 24:08Brooke Averick?

  I'm glad it was you.

• 24:11Connor Wood?

  That's why they gave us our platform.

• 24:12Brooke Averick?

  They gotta put you on the quota.

• 24:14Connor Wood?

  Speak out. On the quota, on the quota.

• 24:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 24:17Connor Wood?

  That's good, Brooke.

• 24:17Brooke Averick?

  Put your face on the quota.

• 24:18Connor Wood?

  They gotta get my face on a quota if they know what's good for them. I have a lot of things like that that I could say.

• 24:24Brooke Averick?

  Like feminism?

• 24:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 24:25Brooke Averick?

  Okay, give me your top five feminist fakes. Right now.

• 24:31Connor Wood?

  Feminist fakes. Um, okay. One?

• 24:33Brooke Averick?

  Yep.

• 24:40Connor Wood?

  Tampons should be free.

• 24:42Brooke Averick?

  Very good.

• 24:43Connor Wood?

  That one, no one can say anything bad about that. Two, women.

• 24:53Connor Wood?

  Women can do it.

• 24:57Connor Wood?

  Three.

• 24:59Connor Wood?

  These boots were made for walking. Girls love boots.

• 25:03Brooke Averick?

  Maybe boots should be free too.

• 25:09Brooke Averick?

  Maybe boots should be free for women.

• 25:13Brooke Averick?

  That could be nice.

• 25:16Brooke Averick?

  You, your first act as president, free boots for all women.

• 25:22Connor Wood?

  Drop my.

• 25:24Brooke Averick?

  Walk off stage. I...

• 25:28Brooke Averick?

  No, I don't even wanna go open this can of words, words. I literally like have to.

• 25:34Connor Wood?

  Hey guys, I just.

• 25:34Brooke Averick?

  Have to take a brain fog pill.

• 25:36Connor Wood?

  Hey guys, I just finished.

• 25:36Brooke Averick?

  What do you guys do for your brain fog? Let us know.

• 25:39Connor Wood?

  Hey guys, I just finished my can grapefruit rosemary. I'm subleasing this empty can.

• 25:44Brooke Averick?

  I guess it could be the can. Um, but no, I had started, I had started with these words before the can. Anyway.

• 25:55Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 25:56Connor Wood?

  I didn't say anything, but let's, let's do some, um.

• 25:59Brooke Averick?

  But I was saying, I was about to say something.

• 26:00Connor Wood?

  The bachelorette trip to the Barnes and Noble.

• 26:04Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I re-downloaded Hinge last night.

• 26:06Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 26:07Brooke Averick?

  Just cuz I have like new pretty pictures of myself.

• 26:09Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 26:16Brooke Averick?

  Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

• 26:19Connor Wood?

  Be sweet.

• 26:20Brooke Averick?

  Ew.

• 26:21Connor Wood?

  Be sweet.

• 26:24Connor Wood?

  Be sweet.

• 26:29Brooke Averick?

  Ew.

• 26:30Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 26:30Brooke Averick?

  Damn, you got me.

• 26:31Connor Wood?

  I got you.

• 26:32Brooke Averick?

  It's like so fucking scary.

• 26:36Connor Wood?

  That's the real, that's the real horror, LA Horror Nights.

• 26:39Brooke Averick?

  Eddie Murphy.

• 26:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 26:41Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. It's not, it's like not, I just don't, I don't get it. And then I put myself, I went to New York. Last night I time traveled on Hinge, or I.

• 26:51Connor Wood?

  You've, you've, you've visited the portal.

• 26:53Brooke Averick?

  I visited, I went through the portal and it's so much better in New York. I really think it's, there's something wrong with LA. I think there are very few.

• 27:04Brooke Averick?

  Normal, I'm not, I'm actually not even looking for normal. Like, very few, um, how you say?

• 27:11Connor Wood?

  Je ne sais quoi.

• 27:12Brooke Averick?

  There's like, there's a little bit too much je ne sais quoi going on.

• 27:16Connor Wood?

  Yeah, let's just say these guys got a little bit too much je ne sais quoi.

• 27:21Brooke Averick?

  And like, I don't want to be mean, so I'm not using like, any words.

• 27:25Connor Wood?

  You said EU nine times.

• 27:28Brooke Averick?

  I really don't want to be mean, so I'm not gonna say anything, but...

• 27:30Connor Wood?

  Hi, bestie, you said EU nine times.

• 27:35Brooke Averick?

  It's disgusting, like, it's revolting, it's putrid, like, it's literally like a hell on earth.

• 27:40Connor Wood?

  Brooke, you know what you should do?

• 27:41Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 27:42Connor Wood?

  You should go onto the side of that one really busy intersection in WeHo, and you should have like, a little sign that says...

• 27:49Brooke Averick?

  You dropped your can.

• 27:50Connor Wood?

  Whoa, oh my god, oh, you scared me, I didn't know it was full. Damn, I cannot, I cannot get out of this studio without a wet ass, I'll tell you what, it's either, "I'm sweating," or...

• 28:03Brooke Averick?

  Oh, you dropped your paper towels.

• 28:10Connor Wood?

  Shut up, girl.

• 28:12Brooke Averick?

  Girl, please.

• 28:14Connor Wood?

  What, a guy can't have hobbies? Having a wet ass?

• 28:20Brooke Averick?

  Have you told the story about your almost arrest on the way to Mammoth?

• 28:24Connor Wood?

  Um, not in depth, I've told, obviously Brooke has heard it.

• 28:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:28Connor Wood?

  But basically, while we're talking about driving, I guess we could just, um, I, we were dr- me and Kat were driving to Mammoth,

• 28:38Connor Wood?

  and get all the way there, for some reason, like, it's a four hour drive and it took us eight.

• 28:43Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 28:44Connor Wood?

  Double down, we doubled down on our time, and we're almost there, like, we're like, sixteen minutes out.

• 28:50Brooke Averick?

  Six. Okay, the first, okay, go ahead.

• 28:54Connor Wood?

  We get pulled over, like, fourteen, yeah, Jesus.

• 28:57Brooke Averick?

  Sorry, I was shut up.

• 28:58Connor Wood?

  I know the story. We're, we're like, fifteen minutes out, whatever, and get pulled over, and this guy rolls up.

• 29:06Brooke Averick?

  By this guy, do you mean a police op- the police officer?

• 29:08Connor Wood?

  Yes. This man rolls up, walks up, I can't remember, I haven't been pulled over in, in ages, so I can't remember, dome lights on.

• 29:19Brooke Averick?

  What?

• 29:21Connor Wood?

  Dome lights on.

• 29:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that felt like a different language, sorry. I thought you were doing legume.

• 29:26Connor Wood?

  No. Dome les on. Dome les on. Legume et papa. C'est bête on.

• 29:32Brooke Averick?

  Dome les baxi.

• 29:36Connor Wood?

  You're dome les on today. Leg- wait. Legume et papa. Et dome les on.

• 29:46Connor Wood?

  Make a P.

• 29:49Connor Wood?

  So dome les on.

• 29:52Connor Wood?

  And then.

• 29:52Brooke Averick?

  I don't even know what you're trying to say still. Dome lights on?

• 29:55Connor Wood?

  Dome lights.

• 29:56Brooke Averick?

  What's a dome light?

• 29:57Connor Wood?

  This one's here. Dome lights are the ones that your parents always said, like, we can't, you can't have those on, it'll crash.

• 30:01Brooke Averick?

  It'll crash?

• 30:02Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 30:02Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I heard you would get pulled over if you have one.

• 30:04Connor Wood?

  Or pulled over.

• 30:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, okay.

• 30:05Connor Wood?

  What is so illegal about having a light on in a car at night?

• 30:08Brooke Averick?

  I think it's supposed to be distracting the other drivers, maybe?

• 30:11Connor Wood?

  But like, what are you, have you never seen a light before?

• 30:14Brooke Averick?

  But is that true? It's not illegal, right?

• 30:15Connor Wood?

  There's lights all over the road.

• 30:16Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. You should have your high beams on if you need to see, um, further, but your low beams if you're in fog. Yep.

• 30:27Connor Wood?

  Oh. Thank you.

• 30:30Brooke Averick?

  You're all good, keep going.

• 30:32Connor Wood?

  So I had my dome les on. And then I was like, do I have to ten and two? Do I hold my hands on the wheel?

• 30:38Brooke Averick?

  Ten and two is good.

• 30:39Connor Wood?

  He rolls up, I'm already, I'm doing this smile.

• 30:44Brooke Averick?

  And me too as well.

• 30:45Connor Wood?

  Hello, sir. He's like, hey, King. So your car is not even registered in any state? And your license plate does not, it's a fake license plate. And I was like, what? At that point, I was like, what are you talking about, man? And he's like, well, you have a, you have, my license plate used to say fibs.

• 31:06Brooke Averick?

  That one's gone?

• 31:07Connor Wood?

  Cause my dad got it for me for, for my birthday or something.

• 31:10Brooke Averick?

  It's illegal. It's not registered.

• 31:12Connor Wood?

  It was like not even a real plate.

• 31:13Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, just like.

• 31:14Connor Wood?

  It was like, I didn't know?

• 31:15Brooke Averick?

  Like you go to a gift shop and buy it.

• 31:16Connor Wood?

  I unscrewed my license plate and I put that on my car.

• 31:19Brooke Averick?

  Completely not registered.

• 31:20Connor Wood?

  It wasn't even real. Like, it wasn't even a real license plate.

• 31:23Brooke Averick?

  Oh, but you had a real one.

• 31:25Connor Wood?

  In my glove compartment.

• 31:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 31:27Connor Wood?

  And so, he's like-

• 31:28Brooke Averick?

  Oh, so it was doing hidden Mickey in the glove compartment?

• 31:32Connor Wood?

  It wasn't nu- So, the car was like, literally like, you may as well have been in, like, a Walmart buggy.

• 31:42Brooke Averick?

  I also could not find the insurance.

• 31:44Connor Wood?

  Could not, didn't have it. You couldn't find it because I didn't have it.

• 31:48Brooke Averick?

  In the same boat. He was also like, "Your headlight is out and you were speeding."

• 31:52Connor Wood?

  Brake light.

• 31:53Brooke Averick?

  Okay, yeah.

• 31:53Connor Wood?

  You were thinking a brake light.

• 31:54Brooke Averick?

  Yep.

• 31:54Connor Wood?

  One of my brake lights was out.

• 31:57Connor Wood?

  And I was speeding. And he rolls up, he's like, "You know what? Literally, don't even worry about it."

• 32:03Connor Wood?

  "I can tell you're stressed. I need you to stop stressing."

• 32:06Brooke Averick?

  And he said, "I want you, like, guys, to have fun."

• 32:07Connor Wood?

  "I want you to have a good weekend."

• 32:08Brooke Averick?

  He also thought Connor was sixteen.

• 32:10Connor Wood?

  Thought I was sixteen.

• 32:11Brooke Averick?

  Was worried about him having his license at all, like, due to age.

• 32:16Connor Wood?

  Let us go.

• 32:16Brooke Averick?

  Let us go?

• 32:17Connor Wood?

  So, the natural next step? Let this- Let them go.

• 32:21Brooke Averick?

  Obviously.

• 32:22Connor Wood?

  And so, he did let us roll away.

• 32:25Brooke Averick?

  We felt so good, too. We turned the music back on.

• 32:28Connor Wood?

  Music is up.

• 32:31Connor Wood?

  I am, "Ow, ow, cat, let's party. We are six minutes away now." We drove a total of one mile.

• 32:41Connor Wood?

  And pull right over.

• 32:44Connor Wood?

  I said, "There's no way that's the same guy." "Not at all. It's two guys. Two police officers."

• 32:49Brooke Averick?

  Mean guys.

• 32:50Connor Wood?

  One on both sides. "Brooke, I thought they were gonna drag our limp bodies into the woods and beat the shit out of us."

• 32:57Brooke Averick?

  Oh, my god, that's horrifying. Not charmed by him at really.

• 33:00Connor Wood?

  And I, I was charming my, my lower back off.

• 33:08Connor Wood?

  I was charming my hidden Mickey off. I was trying so hard and they were not buying what I was selling. And they were like, "First of all, fuck you." "All the same stuff. Your car's not registered at all. It hasn't been registered in any state since 2022." And I was like, "Okay, honest mistake."

• 33:26Brooke Averick?

  Denuinely.

• 33:27Connor Wood?

  Honest mistake. License is from Texas. My fake license plate is from Texas. My real license plate's in my glove compartment. Do not have insurance. Case of 30 beers in the backseat. They were like to us, they're like, "Which one of you's been drinking the 30 beers?" I go, "Sir, as you can see, it's an unopened box of beers. We are gonna drink them in six minutes if you let us be."

• 33:49Brooke Averick?

  Uh huh.

• 33:50Connor Wood?

  God forbid you live and let live.

• 33:52Brooke Averick?

  I mean, flashlights in the car. They're like, "Lot of beer back here." I'm like, "We're going skiing."

• 33:57Connor Wood?

  What do you think we're gonna go to skiing sober?

• 34:00Brooke Averick?

  So, he was able to say, tell them what they said, "Not a single thing legal about this vehicle."

• 34:07Connor Wood?

  Not a single thing legal about this vehicle.

• 34:10Brooke Averick?

  And then what do you respond to something like that? He said, "I feel horrible."

• 34:14Connor Wood?

  I literally think I said, "What did you say to him? What did you say to him?"

• 34:20Brooke Averick?

  I think I said, "I feel horrible."

• 34:21Connor Wood?

  No, you said like a joke. You said like a joke that you were like doing a saying that weekend and you said it.

• 34:27Brooke Averick?

  I don't.

• 34:28Connor Wood?

  Yay, oh.

• 34:29Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I said yay.

• 34:30Connor Wood?

  He said, "Not a single thing is legal about this car." And Kat goes, "Yay."

• 34:35Connor Wood?

  And the bathroom chair was like,

• 34:37Brooke Averick?

  Yay. What are you supposed to say to that?

• 34:40Connor Wood?

  Sorry. I said sorry and he's like, "Don't apologize to me." I was like, "Did I apologize to the other guy?"

• 34:45Brooke Averick?

  Right, who did you want you to apologize to?

• 34:46Connor Wood?

  Who should I apologize to? I don't give a shit personally. Like, this is obviously something that upset you.

• 34:52Brooke Averick?

  Right. Right.

• 34:53Connor Wood?

  So, who do I?

• 34:54Brooke Averick?

  I'm sorry that it hurt your feelings.

• 34:56Connor Wood?

  I'm sorry that me not having a legal car hurt your feelings.

• 35:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. I'm not sorry I did it. I'm sorry it hurt you. So? So then what did they instruct you to do and did you get a ticket?

• 35:10Connor Wood?

  I got, the first one was a warning. The second one was like, kind of like a soft launch of a ticket.

• 35:15Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 35:15Connor Wood?

  Because I did have a fine. It was a fix-it ticket.

• 35:20Connor Wood?

  Yep, everything's good now.

• 35:24Brooke Averick?

  They gave him like the least, the least amount of ticket possible. A fix-it ticket is basically like, you gotta pay a couple dollars.

• 35:30Speaker 05

  Dollars, but just fix it, which is still crazy for the situation.

• 35:33Brooke Averick?

  That is, that is truly remarkable.

• 35:35Speaker 05

  They also asked for our Airbnb address and said, if you don't change the plate, like the second that you park and change it, like at your Airbnb, we will come to your car and ticket it or tow it.

• 35:48Brooke Averick?

  Did you change it when you left the Airbnb?

• 35:49Speaker 05

  No, we had to go because our friends were at the bar.

• 35:51Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 35:52Connor Wood?

  We weren't gonna miss happy hour.

• 35:53Brooke Averick?

  Right, no. Did you change it when you got back from happy hour?

• 35:57Connor Wood?

  Cat made me change it.

• 35:58Speaker 05

  Before we left.

• 35:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 35:59Speaker 05

  We left it there for the weekend.

• 36:00Brooke Averick?

  That's smart. And if Cat wasn't there, you wouldn't have changed it.

• 36:02Connor Wood?

  The whole weekend, no, I wouldn't, I forgot.

• 36:04Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 36:05Connor Wood?

  When I, when we were safe in the Airbnb.

• 36:08Speaker 05

  Safe.

• 36:09Connor Wood?

  We were on base.

• 36:10Speaker 05

  We were driving, like, we were like shaking, trying to get there at the sixth minute.

• 36:14Connor Wood?

  It was so scary because it was snowing too, and it was like icy. And I was like, I know for a fact, like,

• 36:23Connor Wood?

  the wolf huff and puffed at the first house and blew that house down. The second house, that wolf huffed and puffed and blew that house down. Third house was me absolutely skid marking across this icy road and running into someone's body. Like, I was like, I know that I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do one more, and then we'll finish at this one. Okay, my cousin married a man whose wife died last summer. She got divorced this year, lots of kids. Let me step back because I don't really understand what I read.

• 36:54Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I'm gonna need one more run through.

• 36:56Connor Wood?

  My cousin married a man whose wife died last summer.

• 37:03Brooke Averick?

  Did that hurt?

• 37:03Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 37:04Brooke Averick?

  Did it really?

• 37:05Speaker 05

  Did it actually?

• 37:07Connor Wood?

  Kind of.

• 37:07Speaker 05

  You're fine, babe.

• 37:11Connor Wood?

  Shit, man.

• 37:12Brooke Averick?

  Oh my God, you said it wouldn't hurt. Did it hurt?

• 37:15Connor Wood?

  No, it's okay.

• 37:17Brooke Averick?

  Well, now I feel horrible.

• 37:19Connor Wood?

  Did she like?

• 37:19Brooke Averick?

  How did you tell me to do that?

• 37:20Connor Wood?

  Did she conk me over the head with that bottle?

• 37:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, you told me to.

• 37:26Connor Wood?

  Uh-uh, no, I didn't.

• 37:27Speaker 05

  No. Brooke, Brooke, you did it unprompted.

• 37:30Connor Wood?

  I never, I never said it.

• 37:31Brooke Averick?

  I said? I said I did not want to do that. They paused the podcast, they said, Brooke, you really need to do that. And I was like, I don't really want to. And now you're giving me shit. I thought it was great.

• 37:44Connor Wood?

  It hurt like a lot more, like if I didn't have this hat on.

• 37:48Brooke Averick?

  Can you genuinely, after I smack him over the head, insert the roll of tapes of me saying, "I don't really wanna do that." But you didn't say that. I said, "I'm like a little scared." Can I, like- And then, just get, just make sure you include Connor saying- Make sure you include Connor saying, "Do it, do it, do it." I keep getting scared.

• 38:05Connor Wood?

  No hit me over the head with that shit.

• 38:09Connor Wood?

  It's not sugar.

• 38:11Brooke Averick?

  No, it's not sugar. Don't eat it. Don't, Connor, don't eat it. Why would you put that in your mouth? Sugar!

• 38:15Connor Wood?

  Oh damn, hang on.

• 38:20Brooke Averick?

  Don't, don't swallow, don't-

• 38:22Connor Wood?

  I'm not swallowing.

• 38:24Brooke Averick?

  Ew.

• 38:24Connor Wood?

  Oh, be sweet.

• 38:31Brooke Averick?

  Okay, you guys. Connor, I'm so, I'm sorry I hit you over the head with a glass bottle.

• 38:36Connor Wood?

  Knock, knock.

• 38:37Brooke Averick?

  Who's there?

• 38:37Connor Wood?

  Glass bottle.

• 38:38Brooke Averick?

  Glass bottle who?

• 38:39Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna hit you over the head with a glass bottle! I'm gonna say something that, I'm, I'm not gonna take the person's name out of it.

• 38:45Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 38:46Connor Wood?

  Cause this happened to me yesterday.

• 38:48Brooke Averick?

  Let's bleep it. But I wanna know the name.

• 38:49Connor Wood?

  I got a phone call, it doesn't matter, like it's, it doesn't matter.

• 38:52Brooke Averick?

  It matters to me.

• 38:53Connor Wood?

  I got a phone call from someone yesterday, did not answer, cause I didn't have the number saved.

• 38:56Brooke Averick?

  Just tell me who.

• 38:57Connor Wood?

  Um, I gotta, I gotta, I-

• 38:59Brooke Averick?

  Just say the name.

• 39:00Connor Wood?

  No, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you, say his name. I'm gonna tell you his name, but-

• 39:05Brooke Averick?

  Say it now.

• 39:06Connor Wood?

  No, no, I, it's a part of the story, I'm gonna tell you. He tells me who he is.

• 39:09Brooke Averick?

  Well, who is he?

• 39:11Connor Wood?

  Fuck you, fuck you. Shut up.

• 39:16Brooke Averick?

  The chair would probably look better.

• 39:19Connor Wood?

  For what?

• 39:20Brooke Averick?

  To look better.

• 39:21Connor Wood?

  I'm just like, you have a living room cuck chair? It's crazy.

• 39:24Brooke Averick?

  Cuck chair?

• 39:25Connor Wood?

  Do you know what a cuck chair is?

• 39:26Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I know what a, I know what a cuck is.

• 39:28Connor Wood?

  What is a cuck?

• 39:29Brooke Averick?

  Like, someone who gets cheated on, a husband who gets cheated on.

• 39:32Connor Wood?

  No, someone who finds sexual pleasure in being, in someone else engaging with their significant other.

• 39:38Brooke Averick?

  No, I don't think they have to find pleasure in it.

• 39:40Connor Wood?

  That's the whole thing, it's a kink.

• 39:42Brooke Averick?

  Well, no, there can be a cuck kink, but saying cuck doesn't imply kink.

• 39:49Connor Wood?

  Yeah, I mean, I think the actual, like, originated there.

• 39:53Brooke Averick?

  I don't agree with you.

• 39:55Connor Wood?

  Okay, well, that's what Google's for.

• 39:57Brooke Averick?

  Yep. I have my, I have my fingers dangling, I have my fingers dangling above the butt.

• 40:01Connor Wood?

  Urban dictionary, a man who lets his wife or girlfriend have sex with other men.

• 40:05Brooke Averick?

  Okay, well, that's Urban Dictionary, that's Urban Dictionary.

• 40:09Connor Wood?

  John watches his wife get fucked by another man, what a cuck.

• 40:12Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I'm saying there is a cuck kink, but just the definition of cuck doesn't imply kink. Okay.

• 40:20Brooke Averick?

  Okay, we're both right.

• 40:26Connor Wood?

  Make a cuckold by having a sexual relationship with his wife or being sexually unfaithful.

• 40:31Brooke Averick?

  A man whose wife is sexually unfaithful.

• 40:34Brooke Averick?

  I think we're both right.

• 40:37Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 40:37Brooke Averick?

  But I think I'm more right.

• 40:38Connor Wood?

  What were you saying it is?

• 40:40Brooke Averick?

  It's just some, like, a man whose wife cheats on him.

• 40:45Connor Wood?

  But he knows, is what I'm saying.

• 40:48Brooke Averick?

  I don't thi- like, I could just go, oh, he's a cuck, but like, he doesn't have to know. It feels really derogatory coming out of my mouth.

• 40:54Connor Wood?

  It feels bad to say, but no-

• 40:55Brooke Averick?

  It feels really bad.

• 40:57Connor Wood?

  Yeah, look, we can go on the right, that's, that's, I mean, obviously, there's different meanings. A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife, the wife of an adulterous husband is a cuck queen.

• 41:07Brooke Averick?

  But that's what I'm saying, like, the definition is just, like, a man that's being cheated on, but to have a cuck kink would be if he liked it. Like, the definition itself doesn't imply that there's already a kink there.

• 41:21Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh, he's actually crazy. In biology, a cuckold is a, is a male who unwittingly invests parental effort in juveniles who are not genetically his offspring.

• 41:29Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 41:30Connor Wood?

  That's pathetic!

• 41:31Brooke Averick?

  It's sweet.

• 41:32Connor Wood?

  But it is sweet. He's the father that, a cuckold, bi- biologically, he could be the father that stepped up.

• 41:37Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 41:39Brooke Averick?

  Reclaim cuckolds.

• 41:40Connor Wood?

  What is wrong with, with, with a male pigeon who steps up to raise some little baby pigeons?

• 41:46Brooke Averick?

  Nothing.

• 41:47Connor Wood?

  Nothing, in fact, admirable. We're reclaiming cucks, cuck queen.

• 41:53Connor Wood?

  She's my cuck queen, let her hit the bando!

• 41:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 41:59Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 41:59Brooke Averick?

  Okay, now I'm, like, very, um-

• 42:03Brooke Averick?

  What's the word?

• 42:04Connor Wood?

  Confused?

• 42:05Brooke Averick?

  No. No, it's like a very simple word that's escaping me.

• 42:10Connor Wood?

  Hungry.

• 42:10Brooke Averick?

  It's not subconscious, self-conscious. I'm very self-conscious about not matching your freak right now. I want to hear a funny, funny comment that someone DM'd me.

• 42:20Connor Wood?

  I don't know.

• 42:21Brooke Averick?

  It was on my close friends, you probably saw it.

• 42:23Connor Wood?

  I didn't see it, I don't know. I wasn't really on my phone this weekend.

• 42:26Brooke Averick?

  Okay, I'm gonna in-feed it. Um, because I went to Catalina Island yesterday.

• 42:31Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 42:31Brooke Averick?

  And... You know, I was in a bathing suit, so all the pictures are of me in a bathing suit.

• 42:37Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 42:38Brooke Averick?

  And I have decided that I just don't care.

• 42:41Connor Wood?

  Good.

• 42:42Brooke Averick?

  About, uh, my, my body. But, someone in response to a story of, uh, my body.

• 42:49Connor Wood?

  Yay.

• 42:50Brooke Averick?

  Which, yay, of course. This is the DM I got. Give me one second while I load the DM, okay?

• 42:57Connor Wood?

  You hit me whenever you're ready.

• 43:00Connor Wood?

  I just got a, Matt King tagged you in a post and it scared me half to death, so...

• 43:03Brooke Averick?

  Oh, it's the post?

• 43:04Connor Wood?

  Oh, it's just a horrible drunk photo of me.

• 43:06Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Imagine... Being a woman and just being like, you know what, fuck it, like a body's a body, body neutrality. Okay? Here's a picture of me in my bathing suit, I'm not thinking anything of it, like, whatever, like...

• 43:20Brooke Averick?

  Insert this DM. "Hi, um, so I've never tried something like this before and I know it will sound weird, but you popped on my explore page and I finally felt good about myself. I've been on social media forever and like I've always been idolizing the perfect hourglass, flat stomach bodies, and like you have the same body as me and it finally made me feel pretty for once. I know this might be a very weird message for you to get. I know you're not a body influencer, but you've helped me to make me feel more confident in my own body and I thank you. I can't express how happy I am to have scrolled upon your content. Also, your podcast thingy is really cool."

• 43:56Brooke Averick?

  What do you think's the most offensive part of that? Podcast thingy?

• 43:59Connor Wood?

  No.

• 44:00Brooke Averick?

  Hourglass figure? Flat stomach? Finally, pretty for once?

• 44:05Connor Wood?

  I think that was the kicker for me.

• 44:07Brooke Averick?

  I like finally pretty for once. That's my Instagram caption, by the way.

• 44:09Connor Wood?

  Finally, feeling pretty for once?

• 44:11Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's what I'm gonna make the caption. I'm gonna dump all those bathing suit pictures in this at the end. Caption: Finally, pretty. Check. For once. Check.

• 44:20Brooke Averick?

  It's already drafted.

• 44:22Connor Wood?

  Finally, pretty for once. Check. Oh, my god.

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• 45:25Brooke Averick?

  Walk me through the spider propaganda that you wanted to talk about today.

• 45:32Connor Wood?

  I have been affected by big spider in a way that makes me full-blown emotional, Brooke.

• 45:39Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 45:43Connor Wood?

  Oh, my god, I'm gonna get choked up. I saw this TikTok of this spider. Oh, my god. Cute, little, bubbly, walking-up spider, like...

• 45:56Connor Wood?

  But not like a spider that I've ever known. Cute.

• 46:01Brooke Averick?

  Cute as a button, that one.

• 46:02Connor Wood?

  Personal, personal bull. Like, my best friend, my right-hand man. And the quote on the video of the spider walking up on the table.

• 46:18Connor Wood?

  "Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry. I didn't know being seen would cost me my life."

• 46:33Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna cry.

• 46:34Brooke Averick?

  That is like, really, really powerful when you put it that way.

• 46:38Connor Wood?

  Oh my god.

• 46:40Brooke Averick?

  And think like, how many times you've done that?

• 46:46Brooke Averick?

  You're part of the problem.

• 46:47Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, I'm gonna read some of the, I'm gonna read some of the comments on it.

• 46:51Brooke Averick?

  Please do. That is powerful, that's, that is powerful stuff.

• 46:55Connor Wood?

  Literally, there's tears in my, tears in my eyes.

• 46:58Brooke Averick?

  I do not blame you.

• 46:59Connor Wood?

  I mean, given the circumstances of today.

• 47:00Brooke Averick?

  I don't blame you.

• 47:01Connor Wood?

  And all that has come before me and given the fact that I did fall out of a coconut tree last night.

• 47:09Connor Wood?

  It's no surprise that I'm crying about this spider.

• 47:11Brooke Averick?

  I know, I know.

• 47:12Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, it's, it's making me.

• 47:16Brooke Averick?

  I can see you're emotional.

• 47:17Connor Wood?

  Oh my god, I found it.

• 47:19Brooke Averick?

  Uh, let's see. Oh, that's not a cute spider, by the way. At all, that is scary.

• 47:25Connor Wood?

  Let it get, let it get closer to you, it's coming to say hello.

• 47:29Brooke Averick?

  It's, it's the music that's making you think it's cute.

• 47:38Brooke Averick?

  Read us some of the comments.

• 47:40Connor Wood?

  "And I'm sorry for scaring you."

• 47:45Connor Wood?

  "And I'm sorry for scaring you, but I didn't know that being seen would cost me my life."

• 47:48Brooke Averick?

  I know, I heard you the first time, yeah.

• 47:53Connor Wood?

  Oh, you're killing me.

• 47:57Connor Wood?

  Okay, I'm gonna read some of this. And I'm gonna say paragraph after each one, so you know that one comment ends and the next one starts.

• 48:04Brooke Averick?

  I appreciate it, thank you.

• 48:05Connor Wood?

  "Did the spider tell you that? Paragraph? That's a cute spider." No, that's not even funny. "Not my problem, flip-flop emoji."

• 48:16Brooke Averick?

  Oh, do you know why they put the flip-flop emoji?

• 48:20Brooke Averick?

  I think that's the murder weapon.

• 48:21Connor Wood?

  I know.

• 48:26Connor Wood?

  Oh my God, there's so many flip-flop emojis. This is like-

• 48:28Brooke Averick?

  That people are not reading the room.

• 48:29Connor Wood?

  This is almost hate speech, like for me.

• 48:31Brooke Averick?

  That is heinous.

• 48:32Connor Wood?

  The spiders can live, but not in my house.

• 48:35Brooke Averick?

  You have always said that, which is scary to think of where you've come from.

• 48:39Connor Wood?

  Live life, but not in my bedroom, paragraph. Okay, but don't come in my room, paragraph. Girl, the spiders I see are not like that, paragraph. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Like, I don't, I don't see spiders like this, but it literally feels like I am a racist talking about spiders. Like, oh, that's not the spiders that I see. Do you know what I'm talking about?

• 49:01Brooke Averick?

  I do know what you're talking about.

• 49:02Connor Wood?

  My eyes are open. My eyes are agape.

• 49:05Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:05Connor Wood?

  After learning this new information.

• 49:08Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 49:09Connor Wood?

  I feel like, I feel like I went on an Eat, Pray, Love trip and I'm coming back with like a full new view because of this TikTok.

• 49:14Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. Can we find, like, I know that there has been a few moments in this podcast where Connor has spoken negatively about spiders. If we could find those and then, um, kind of juxtapose that with how far you've come. I think that would be a beautiful montage with that music set, set to it.

• 49:32Connor Wood?

  I just like, this broke my heart. Like, I feel like it's in a million pieces. Oh my God.

• 49:39Brooke Averick?

  Thank you for sharing that.

• 49:40Connor Wood?

  Of course. Like, this is the only space I would share my newfound, like, empathy, I guess, for arachnids, but- that is what it is. That is what it is. And I don't know how else to, I don't know how else to say it. And I'm embarrassed. I'm, like, I do want to set my, my apartment on fire.

• 49:58Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 50:00Connor Wood?

  When I move, when I move out, but like, now knowing this, it's like, how different is the scary, disgusting one that was in my bed? From this little jumping spider?

• 50:12Brooke Averick?

  But that's, that's a bad way of thinking. Like, one is scary and disgusting because of the way it looks.

• 50:19Connor Wood?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 50:20Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, so.

• 50:22Connor Wood?

  And if you are racist and you're listening to this-

• 50:27Connor Wood?

  Just kidding.

• 50:30Brooke Averick?

  Stop listening.

• 50:31Connor Wood?

  One.

• 50:34Brooke Averick?

  What's two?

• 50:36Connor Wood?

  One, I wasn't gonna go on.

• 50:38Brooke Averick?

  Oh, okay.

• 50:38Connor Wood?

  One, stop listening. Or just like, keep listening and be changed.

• 50:42Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, that's, that's even better.

• 50:43Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 50:44Brooke Averick?

  Oh, gosh.

• 50:44Connor Wood?

  You can change. If I can do it,

• 50:46Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 50:47Connor Wood?

  you can do it.

• 50:50Connor Wood?

  Okay.

• 50:50Brooke Averick?

  Wow, that was powerful.

• 50:51Connor Wood?

  I mean,

• 50:54Connor Wood?

  hate speech can be transformed into love speech. Hi, my love.

• 51:04Brooke Averick?

  Ew. You look disgusting.

• 51:07Connor Wood?

  That's rude. That is so rude.

• 51:12Brooke Averick?

  You look, you look, hey, you look great.

• 51:14Connor Wood?

  Thank you, and so do you. I love the glasses.

• 51:16Brooke Averick?

  How do you feel?

• 51:17Connor Wood?

  I feel great. Shayna? Killed as usual.

• 51:20Brooke Averick?

  As usual. Whoa, wait, so?

• 51:24Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 51:26Brooke Averick?

  What part of your face is still your skin? And, uh-uh, keep that tongue in your mouth. So I guess it's CGI.

• 51:36Connor Wood?

  I so badly need to stop you right now and do something that I, I've been wanting to do since I put on my cloak.

• 51:42Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 51:44Connor Wood?

  I think I kinda have to move the table, too.

• 51:48Brooke Averick?

  Okay. Is it, I, I, is it a movement?

• 51:58Connor Wood?

  That's it. I had to, I, I had to, what were you saying about CGI?

• 52:02Brooke Averick?

  It's not important at all after that.

• 52:06Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, thank you.

• 52:08Connor Wood?

  Did that look good?

• 52:09Brooke Averick?

  Like, very hot.

• 52:10Connor Wood?

  I got Megan knees.

• 52:12Brooke Averick?

  Megan knees?

• 52:13Connor Wood?

  Megan knees.

• 52:14Brooke Averick?

  Megan knees?

• 52:16Connor Wood?

  I can't enunciate any further than that. Oh my God, I'm having a str-. My, my heartbeat is a little bit delayed. Also, people aren't just like shooting them and then, then they were just riding the field like they eat the meat.

• 52:26Brooke Averick?

  No, I know.

• 52:27Connor Wood?

  Okay, anyways.

• 52:28Brooke Averick?

  Which is why I'm like, I can't even talk, cuz I literally had ribs last night.

• 52:33Connor Wood?

  How were they?

• 52:35Brooke Averick?

  Like, I don't even wanna say.

• 52:37Connor Wood?

  Pork or beef?

• 52:39Brooke Averick?

  Like, the Chinese kind, like barbecue spare ribs. Like pork.

• 52:44Connor Wood?

  Pork, okay.

• 52:44Brooke Averick?

  It's so good.

• 52:45Connor Wood?

  I was like, pork or beef, and she was like, Chinese. Okay.

• 52:54Brooke Averick?

  That should answer it.

• 52:56Connor Wood?

  They have cows in China.

• 52:58Brooke Averick?

  I'm sure they do, but I'm saying the kind of ribs that you get at a Chinese restaurant are a pork base.

• 53:04Connor Wood?

  You can get beef ribs.

• 53:06Brooke Averick?

  Do you know that my mom wanted me to keep kosher when I was in middle school? And so I used to get to school really, really early and get bacon and eat it behind a trash can.

• 53:19Connor Wood?

  We have been shaped by all that has come before us.

• 53:21Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:22Connor Wood?

  And now we have to unburden ourselves by what, what has been.

• 53:27Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. A hundred percent.

• 53:30Connor Wood?

  It was the last day of the fair last night, so that's why we went.

• 53:32Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 53:32Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 53:34Brooke Averick?

  Did you go on to the abduction zone?

• 53:36Connor Wood?

  I went on the abduction zone.

• 53:38Brooke Averick?

  Did you get sucked off?

• 53:40Connor Wood?

  It's, it doesn't have the same je ne sais quoi when you're not blackout drunk, I have to say.

• 53:45Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I didn't realize when you had been sucked off the last time you were blackout.

• 53:49Connor Wood?

  I got sucked off on the abduction.

• 53:50Brooke Averick?

  You had gotten sucked off by the abduction zone.

• 53:53Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 53:54Brooke Averick?

  Okay.

• 53:54Connor Wood?

  Last time. So there's a difference. Okay.

• 53:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 53:58Connor Wood?

  I went on and I was like, oh, my head hurts like that. It smelled like vomit in there.

• 54:01Brooke Averick?

  Really?

• 54:02Connor Wood?

  It was hot. It's random. It smelled like vomit. That's the one that sucks you to the. It was weird, like being sucked like this and being like, all right, I'm over it. I couldn't. Can't do anything. I couldn't move and my face is getting peeled back like this. I'm like, oh my God, what, how long do we have? But I did go on it, so. I didn't get to go on it. I know we had talked about it, but I didn't end up getting to go on the grav. I call it the gravitron. There is a gravitron and there's an abduction zone. The abduction zone is further away. It's over by the zipper.

• 54:31Brooke Averick?

  We were there. That's where the ship was.

• 54:33Connor Wood?

  Are they like sisters? Um, they're chosen family, I would say. They're not twins. You get sucked off on both? Hmm, I'd say it's sucking off is pretty exclusive to the abduction zone.

• 54:44Brooke Averick?

  Were you sucked off at all last night?

• 54:46Connor Wood?

  Not really. No, I was blueballed.

• 54:48Brooke Averick?

  Sorry to hear that.

• 54:49Connor Wood?

  I. You okay? Yeah. The craziest thing.

• 54:56Connor Wood?

  I, I played this one game.

• 55:07Brooke Averick?

  Billy.

• 55:14Connor Wood?

  Shut up.

• 55:19Connor Wood?

  Sorry, I sound like the aliens in the abduction zone.

• 55:22Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 55:23Connor Wood?

  Move forward.

• 55:26Brooke Averick?

  Go ahead.

• 55:27Connor Wood?

  Thank.

• 55:30Connor Wood?

  I have just spit. Go ahead. No, like what I'm gonna say next is like so stupid. It's stupid now that, now that all, all that, all that has gone down.

• 55:38Brooke Averick?

  What happened?

• 55:39Connor Wood?

  Go ahead. No, I, I'm just, just shocked that so many people.

• 55:46Brooke Averick?

  He giggles.

• 55:47Connor Wood?

  Like I'm out of can.

• 55:48Brooke Averick?

  Does. This is what you sound like off the can.

• 55:50Connor Wood?

  Okay, go ahead. No, I'm not even saying it.

• 55:52Brooke Averick?

  No, sorry Connor, seriously.

• 55:54Connor Wood?

  No, no, it is, it's so, it's so not important. I'm ready for it. Okay, what I was gonna say.

• 56:03Connor Wood?

  No, we're gonna get cancelled like this episode. We're gonna get cancelled. We're the alien abductions. They're gonna cut that part and they're gonna say, this is why we stopped giving white men microphones. I agree. Okay, so I ask people for like niche interests and hobbies.

• 56:20Connor Wood?

  Lying in bars.

• 56:23Brooke Averick?

  That's fun, yeah.

• 56:24Connor Wood?

  Yeah, because I think that they should invent a place that you can lay flat, like a flat lay.

• 56:29Brooke Averick?

  Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you meant telling lies.

• 56:33Brooke Averick?

  How is it spelled Connor?

• 56:38Connor Wood?

  It's totally making up

• 56:41Connor Wood?

  false truths in a pub. You're right.

• 56:46Connor Wood?

  Oh, I was thinking, like, I would love to lay down and, and have a cocktail.

• 56:50Brooke Averick?

  It's awesome to see where your brain went, because I'm aligned with that.

• 56:55Connor Wood?

  Look at me right now, I'm almost horizontal.

• 56:56Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, I think they should put beds everywhere. I think they should put pods on the street. That's just like can't make it home due to exhaustion. No worries. Swipe your card. Do you have a membership? Head on into the bed chamber.

• 57:09Connor Wood?

  I'm sure that nothing would go wrong in LA with the bed chambers on the street.

• 57:14Brooke Averick?

  It wouldn't, like just like an offshoot of a Starbucks, the bed chamber?

• 57:19Connor Wood?

  What the fuck are you talking?

• 57:21Brooke Averick?

  Like how people use the bathrooms in Starbucks?

• 57:24Connor Wood?

  Oh.

• 57:25Brooke Averick?

  Use the, use the bed chamber.

• 57:27Connor Wood?

  Oh my gosh. Yeah. Hop into my bed chamber.

• 57:31Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. There, and there also should just be more like public restrooms.

• 57:35Connor Wood?

  Yeah, we've, we have this conversation too much, like for two people.

• 57:39Brooke Averick?

  I have to tell you something.

• 57:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah, tell me something.

• 57:41Brooke Averick?

  I went to a workout class this morning.

• 57:43Connor Wood?

  Oh, good for you.

• 57:44Brooke Averick?

  Is that not the most shocking thing? At seven?

• 57:48Connor Wood?

  What?

• 57:48Brooke Averick?

  I know.

• 57:50Connor Wood?

  Huh?

• 57:50Brooke Averick?

  I know. It's very confusing.

• 57:53Connor Wood?

  What kind of workout class?

• 57:54Brooke Averick?

  Uh, core power.

• 57:55Connor Wood?

  Why did you start with that? That's like the big, that's the most breaking news that we've.

• 57:58Brooke Averick?

  I meant to.

• 58:00Connor Wood?

  Like I, that is so admirable of you to go.

• 58:03Brooke Averick?

  I'm never going again. And I know, I, I know I picked up a case of Doms.

• 58:09Brooke Averick?

  Like I feel it starting, I feel the beginning stages of just like.

• 58:14Connor Wood?

  Being sore after a workout?

• 58:15Brooke Averick?

  It's not even, it's just off. Like something's off. And I know that come tomorrow and you, cause you know, it's delayed onset. I know come tomorrow when I wake up, I'm doing, I'm working from home tomorrow. And Izzy, can we do obsessed? Are we doing obsessed from the cuck chair on Thursday? I'm gonna have to, just due to a pre-existing condition. Yep, interesting. Yeah. So I'll.

• 58:35Connor Wood?

  Well, at least you're able to get ahead of it because you've been.

• 58:37Brooke Averick?

  Totally ahead of it. I know what to do. I'm prepared. I'm not gonna think I have tumors on all of my bones. I'm excited, I'm, I'm honestly excited to brave the Doms, knowing what I know.

• 58:51Connor Wood?

  You should get in like a hot tub or something, or like a cold plunge. I don't know how you would access either of those at this time.

• 58:57Brooke Averick?

  Honestly, like having Doms, knowing you have Doms, it's almost like there's something about it that's good. It's scary when you don't know what it is, but then when you know like, oh, this is my body's muscles being sore because I worked so.

• 59:11Connor Wood?

  Yes, you should say that we got there. I'm gonna be sore after a workout. That's okay. That's like normal.

• 59:18Brooke Averick?

  No, Connor, no, no, no, I'm not. You're talking about workout soreness. I'm talking about Doms. You've never, this is coming from someone who's clearly never had Doms.

• 59:28Connor Wood?

  You're right.

• 59:29Brooke Averick?

  You don't, you can't speak about Doms unless you've been done.

• 59:31Connor Wood?

  I've been sore after a workout.

• 59:32Brooke Averick?

  I'm saying it just won't be scary.

• 59:33Connor Wood?

  Delayed onset muscle soreness.

• 59:35Brooke Averick?

  I'm trying to put it, I'm trying to put a positive spin on it, like I'm not scared.

• 59:38Connor Wood?

  Good for you, you're very brave.

• 59:40Brooke Averick?

  Facing a disease head on and I'm not scared.

• 59:42Connor Wood?

  Good for you.

• 59:43Brooke Averick?

  Like I was last time.

• 59:45Connor Wood?

  Oh, admirable.

• 59:46Brooke Averick?

  I'm embracing it because what else can you do?

• 59:50Brooke Averick?

  Going in head on to the Doms.

• 59:51Connor Wood?

  Yeah, you're right.

• 59:53Brooke Averick?

  It's not, it's not, I'm sore after a workout. That's what, that's, that's the problem with Doms is that's what people think and that's why people don't take it seriously.

• 1:00:02Connor Wood?

  Right. So when I work out today.

• 1:00:05Brooke Averick?

  You've never had Doms and you never will.

• 1:00:07Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna do chest and then, and then Thursday when I'm sore, that's not delayed onset muscle soreness, that's being sore from a workout a day later.

• 1:00:15Brooke Averick?

  You are literally cosplaying as one of those male doctors that tells women like, oh, like it's, it's normal to throw up and bleed out and faint every time you have a period.

• 1:00:27Connor Wood?

  What?

• 1:00:28Brooke Averick?

  That's you right now.

• 1:00:29Connor Wood?

  No, I'm not.

• 1:00:30Brooke Averick?

  Yes, that's you right now. You're literally delegitimizing my health issues.

• 1:00:36Connor Wood?

  No, I said, I'm saying, you said, I absolutely can experience Doms. You said that.

• 1:00:40Brooke Averick?

  You can.

• 1:00:41Connor Wood?

  You said that's unique to you.

• 1:00:42Brooke Averick?

  It's unique to the population of, of people who experience Doms, which you've clearly never had based off of the way that your, your lack of understanding is neon.

• 1:00:52Connor Wood?

  Oh, I have clearly never had it.

• 1:00:55Brooke Averick?

  No.

• 1:00:55Connor Wood?

  You kind of sound like one of those doctors, actually.

• 1:00:57Brooke Averick?

  No, I can't because I'm a woman.

• 1:01:00Connor Wood?

  Oh shit.

• 1:01:01Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:01Connor Wood?

  I always forget about that. Okay, he almost came out, came out and was like, he came out as bisexual and he was like, no, no he didn't.

• 1:01:08Brooke Averick?

  Oh. Wait, what?

• 1:01:11Connor Wood?

  I almost watched that on the airplane yesterday, but I watched Burn After Reading and said, which.

• 1:01:16Brooke Averick?

  What's that?

• 1:01:16Connor Wood?

  Okay, so that's one of those movies, it's called Burn After Reading. First of all, is there anything better in the world than sitting down and seeing a movie that like, you're like, oh, I've actually been wanting to watch this and you're on a plane? And you look and the timing is perfect because our wifi went out.

• 1:01:32Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 1:01:33Connor Wood?

  So it was like, yeah, I was kind of forced to be off my phone the whole time, which was nice, but I was just looking at another similar size screen.

• 1:01:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:40Connor Wood?

  Which was also nice because I was getting my, Papa was getting his blue light prescription. What you're getting into? No, I had no idea. I've, I've, I've heard Burn, Burn After Reading. I've heard that name. Listen to the people in this, in this movie. Brad Pitt, George Clooney.

• 1:01:54Brooke Averick?

  I thought you hated when there was a stacked cast.

• 1:01:57Connor Wood?

  But the thing about this particular stacked cast is that it was a different time. So I think that they weren't all competing to like, get a bigger page. I don't really understand what the deal was back then, but like, they didn't overpower each other. They weren't competing for screen time. George Pitt.

• 1:02:13Brooke Averick?

  I love George Pitt.

• 1:02:14Connor Wood?

  George Clooney.

• 1:02:15Brooke Averick?

  Oh my God, George Clooney is one of my favorites.

• 1:02:18Connor Wood?

  George Clooney, George Pitt. George, what is it? Blad Pitt?

• 1:02:24Connor Wood?

  What's their names?

• 1:02:28Connor Wood?

  What's?

• 1:02:28Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, as you were saying, Blad Pitt.

• 1:02:32Connor Wood?

  Brand Geldon, what is it?

• 1:02:34Brooke Averick?

  What are you?

• 1:02:34Connor Wood?

  Whoa, I'm having a stroke, actually. Brand Geldon? George?

• 1:02:40Brooke Averick?

  I don't know where you're going. Who's Brand Geldon? Who's Brand Geldon?

• 1:02:46Connor Wood?

  George?

• 1:02:49Connor Wood?

  Hang on. I'll just read it. Thank you. I'm sweating.

• 1:02:53Brooke Averick?

  You sound like you went down the drain.

• 1:02:54Connor Wood?

  Sorry.

• 1:02:55Brooke Averick?

  I, I don't know if this is a stress dream or just a dream, but had a dream that I got picked up from Chipotle in an Uber. And my Uber driver was pregnant and then started going the wrong way. It was, she was a woman. Started going the wrong way.

• 1:03:10Connor Wood?

  That explains it.

• 1:03:12Brooke Averick?

  Started going the wrong way and I was like, oh, that's the wrong way. And then she was like, you're my baby now.

• 1:03:20Brooke Averick?

  Oh.

• 1:03:23Connor Wood?

  Go on.

• 1:03:24Brooke Averick?

  You're my baby now. And turned out she went full Terry Schuster and the pregnancy bump was fake. And she took me home to my childhood home and started treating me like a baby.

• 1:03:36Brooke Averick?

  And then, thank God, I watched so much Criminal Minds, I knew to feed into the delusion.

• 1:03:40Connor Wood?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:40Brooke Averick?

  Yeah. So I was like, ooh.

• 1:03:48Brooke Averick?

  I let her treat me like a little baby. And then I said, I just have to go grab some stuff at my home and then I'll come right back. And she was like, oh, God, yeah. And then I got out.

• 1:03:59Connor Wood?

  It's so crazy.

• 1:04:00Brooke Averick?

  But then I had to crawl.

• 1:04:02Connor Wood?

  To your home. Oh, my gosh, that's like a good, that's like a great place. It's crazy how me and you immediately will go like, what's that syndrome? Stockholm syndrome. I'm like completely, I feel like me and you would be really good at faking it.

• 1:04:20Brooke Averick?

  No, I did not get Stockholm syndrome.

• 1:04:21Connor Wood?

  No, I know, but faking it.

• 1:04:22Brooke Averick?

  Yes.

• 1:04:23Connor Wood?

  Yes.

• 1:04:24Brooke Averick?

  You have to feed into the delusion 90% of the time. Sometimes the unsub will catch on to that and that will really aggravate them. So you just have to keep a finger on the pulse of the unsub.

• 1:04:38Connor Wood?

  OK, I'll try. You know, I probably have E. coli.

• 1:04:43Brooke Averick?

  No, I didn't.

• 1:04:44Connor Wood?

  Yeah. Because that's the only explanation.

• 1:04:47Brooke Averick?

  From the bidet? Was that a dream too?

• 1:04:48Connor Wood?

  No, that was a Twitter thing. I saw that yesterday. No, I don't. But I got food poisoning on last Thursday.

• 1:04:56Brooke Averick?

  What were your symptoms?

• 1:04:58Connor Wood?

  The most, I still have it right now. The most unimaginable, bloating constantly. And then visitation rides, visitation rides to any restroom space 60 times a day.

• 1:05:19Brooke Averick?

  Do you need to make right now?

• 1:05:20Connor Wood?

  No, but I just, like, I've never had food poisoning in my life and I know what it was.

• 1:05:24Brooke Averick?

  I feel like food poisoning is usually like puking, no?

• 1:05:28Connor Wood?

  I don't know. But it wasn't, it's never, no puking involved, not to talk about puking. But I've never experienced food poisoning before. I got into Austin late at night and so I did one of those like, I'm at the airport, I'm doordashing right now. So it's at my hotel when I get there.

• 1:05:43Brooke Averick?

  Wait, sorry, what was the food, did you say?

• 1:05:46Connor Wood?

  Why is like street shawarma always open at 12:30 a.m.? You know, and like I should know, you know, just, I should just drink water and pray and act like I'm fasting. Because it's 12:30, I could just go to sleep.

• 1:05:57Brooke Averick?

  Right.

• 1:05:58Connor Wood?

  Or I could get two chicken shawarmas.

• 1:05:59Brooke Averick?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:00Connor Wood?

  You know, and eat both of them.

• 1:06:01Brooke Averick?

  That's your right.

• 1:06:01Connor Wood?

  They were so delicious. I was like, I'm gonna get these again tomorrow. I wake up.

• 1:06:08Connor Wood?

  I'm not even gonna say it, because I would probably ask to cut what I was about to say.

• 1:06:11Brooke Averick?

  Just say it, and we could always cut it. Just say it.

• 1:06:14Connor Wood?

  No, I don't even want you guys to know.

• 1:06:18Connor Wood?

  I'm gonna tell you guys, but I want you guys not to look at me differently. I'm like, I'm gonna fart in my bed. I sharted in my bed.

• 1:06:24Brooke Averick?

  Oh, that's fine.

• 1:06:25Connor Wood?

  No, like I pooped in my bed. I pooped the bed.

• 1:06:27Brooke Averick?

  Obviously, that's the best place to do it, besides the toilet.

• 1:06:33Connor Wood?

  Aziz has to leave the studio, so she spilled everywhere from her mouth.

• 1:06:37Brooke Averick?

  Oh, she spilled from her mouth?

• 1:06:39Connor Wood?

  I, from then on, have not been okay. This morning, not okay. I'm about, like, I might have to go to urgent care and, like, have some, somebody, a professional look at my stomach. It's not okay. And I narrowed it down to either that or my smoothie I had on Friday morning.

• 1:07:00Brooke Averick?

  Something tells me it was the shawarma. I'm leaning towards shawarma.

• 1:07:03Connor Wood?

  The street shawarma, made probably with someone's bare hands. That's really, like, just really disappointing.

• 1:07:12Connor Wood?

  Anyways...

• 1:07:12Brooke Averick?

  Sorry to hear.

• 1:07:13Connor Wood?

  Anyways, I would've been right beside you in your "I'm a baby" dream, just shitting my little crib. Shitting in my crib.

• 1:07:22Connor Wood?

  I need a dipe change.

• 1:07:23Brooke Averick?

  Yeah, we all could use a good old-fashioned dipe change.

• 1:07:27Connor Wood?

  I had a blowout in my...

• 1:07:30Brooke Averick?

  In your dipe?

• 1:07:31Connor Wood?

  In my Fibs and Friends mesh shorts, which are available for sale now. You two could shart through your Fibs and Friends mesh shorts.

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