James Corden: How to Know When the Time is Right to Let Go

How can you let go of something you love to do? And when is the right time to let go? Today, Jay is joined by Emmy Award winning host, writer, producer, and actor, James Corden. James is also a Tony Award winning and Golden Globe nominated actor; and a multiple BAFTA Award winner. In April 2023, James wrapped up his eight-year run as host of THE LATE LATE SHOW, which premiered on CBS in March 2015. The show garnered Corden four Emmy Award wins and an additional twenty-three Emmy Award nominations. Corden is the co-creator and executive producer of CARPOOL KARAOKE: THE SERIES for Apple TV+ which won five consecutive Emmy Awards and is currently nominated for 2023. The series also won three Producers Guild Awards, a Critics’ Choice Real TV Award and was nominated for a Writers Guild Award. James takes you through the successive successes and inevitable misses that shape our lives, the impact of expectations on our experiences and unravel the true meaning of success. He touches on his love for performance, the driving force behind success, and the reality that not all efforts receive the recognition they deserve; as well as the reflective process during significant transitions and gain insights into the complexities of the narcissistic dream. As the conversation continues, James presents the powerful analogy of letting a balloon go, symbolizing the liberation that comes with releasing expectations. They also touch on the importance of mindful living, questioning how much of tomorrow you're willing to borrow. In this interview, you'll learn: How to effectively chase after success How to pick yourself up after failure The importance of surrounding yourself with good people How to balance family life and career How to make your marriage work How to slow down when things get tough This episode is a reminder to cultivate a life filled with purpose, the art of slowing down, embracing life's pace, and savoring each moment. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:52 The Successive Success and the Many Misses in Between 08:32 The Expectation OF is What Mostly Ruins Things 10:22 What is the True Meaning of Success? 12:56 Love for Performance and the Drive for Success 17:23 Not All Efforts Get Rewarded 20:36 Your Life Can Get Flipped Over Every Single Day 23:38 Reflection Process During Big Transitions 28:13 The Narcissist’s Dream 35:50 The Analogy of Letting a Balloon Go 41:02 Becoming More than the Man You Actually Are 46:44 Sleep is an Extraordinary Gift 49:42 How Much of Tomorrow Are You Willing to Borrow? 53:15 Why Do You Need to Stop Going on a Diet? 56:21 How Do You Keep Good Friends Around? 01:00:32 How to Calmly Talk to Your Child? 01:06:14 Where is the Best Place to Raise Your Family and Kids? 01:11:24 Effective Communication Between Married Couple 01:15:43 The Story of a Man Who Just Kept Going 01:21:08 The David Beckham Statue Prank 01:22:35 Learning to Slow Down and Not Rush Anything 01:32:27 James on Final Five Episode Resources: James Corden | Instagram James Corden | Twitter The Late Late Show with James Corden | YouTube The Late Late Show with James Corden | TikTok See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:41Jay Shetty?

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• 0:48Speaker 01

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• 1:17Jay Shetty?

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• 2:01Jay Shetty?

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• 2:46Jay Shetty?

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• 3:14Speaker 02

  Step out of a curtain and 400 people will go nuts. And you've got to remember, the other side of this camera is a sign that says applause.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  Tony and Emmy winning actor. He's on TV screens for eight years.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  The man himself, James Corden. I went upstairs and I sat in his room and I just went to him, I need you to know that I haven't changed. I love you more than you'll ever know. And he went.

• 3:44Jay Shetty?

  Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

• 4:07Speaker 04

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

• 4:15Jay Shetty?

  James, it is truly a honour and privilege to have you here today because I have to be honest with you. I have been a huge, huge, huge fan ever since Smithy and Comic Relief. And I was at The Grove just a couple of weeks ago and I was remembering how that skit started there.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  That's where we shot it.

• 4:37Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and you walk into one of the rooms and you're with them. And so I've been such a huge fan from day one and watching you and admiring your journey, seeing you go crushing it from the UK through to the US. And, you know, I moved to the US a few years after you did, but just getting to see the impact you had there. The amazing, amazing content that you've created. I'm a big fan of whether it's spill your guts or carpool karaoke, like every single segment you guys produce. Such a huge fan. And so to be able to sit with you and even the few moments we've just spent together off camera, I've already enjoyed your company, but I wanted to start off by just saying I'm a huge fan and thank you for doing this.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Well, I'm a huge fan of yours. I think what you've done is really quite extraordinary, actually. I really think, I think it's actually deeper than a successful podcast or show or book. I think what you've done really, I think, and I'm sure I'm certainly not the first person to say this to you, is you've created like a safe place for people to talk about, to talk about mental health, health, everything. You know what I mean? Feelings of depth that I think is, of course, we're more aware of today than we were a decade ago and certainly a decade before that. And I think you're a real big part of that and I'm a real fan of the show and it's given me a lot over the years.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  So it's a real thrill to be here and I hope I can be deep enough to fulfill the needs required, you know?

• 6:04Jay Shetty?

  Well, for everyone, everyone who doesn't know, everything that James was saying to me off camera just now, I was like, James, save it. I need you to say it again because it was, it was so, it was perfect. But James, I was thinking about this. I was looking at your journey and I was seeing like you went from writing, right? Gavin and Stacey, amazing success. Gone to the West End, amazing success. Broadway, Tony Award, amazing success.

• 6:27Jay Shetty?

  Then moving off into late night, amazing success. And there was something I was observing about you. And I felt that what I saw in you was someone who had the ability to continuously disrupt themselves, take risks and innovate when it seemed like there was a clear path. And I wonder whether what's the decision you've made right now is almost the same thing that you've said, I don't want the safe option. I'm willing to take the risk. Would you agree with that?

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Yes, I think so. I mean, it's really lovely of you to say that. There's, there's also misses in the middle of that. Do you know what I mean? I think it's very important to say that that curve could also be looked, you know what I mean? There's, there's as many misses as there is hits. You just want to keep that ratio as, as clean as you can, you know? In the sort of last sort of six months since finishing the show. And then the few months before that, after when we announced that we were ending the show, lots of people would say, you know, they would ask why you're doing this? And why would you leave such a thing and such a contract and offer and all that? Those things, which I completely understand. I've always been able to separate work and life.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  And the two, one shouldn't outweigh the other. Does that make sense? That, that actually you have to go, well, I know that for my career, Ruth and I could have, Ruth Jones, who I co-wrote Gavin and Stacey with, which was a, a show that became successful in, in the UK. We, we could of course have carried on writing that show and making more episodes of that show. But I don't know that that was at the time feeding our life. You know, I wasn't feeding mine. It wasn't feeding Ruth's. It was like, we've done that. It's time to stop. We have to do something else. And then, you know, I, I love being in plays. I love being in the theatre. And when I was in One Man, Two Governors or, or the History Boys,

• 8:24Speaker 02

  there was a path where you could say, well, I could carry on doing this. And there were moments or opportunities to perhaps go and do another play after that. But it was like, well, I don't know that that's going to feed my life. So I think the, the key from what, or what I'm trying to do is go, well, if my work is feeding my life and my family, then it's of benefit. And if it isn't, then it won't be. And I think some people perhaps often just look at their career as being the primary. Thing in their life, well, the work is the thing, and I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do that. Then I'm gonna do this, then I'm gonna do that. And you have to go, no, no, but but how is that feeding your life and your soul and who you are as a

• 9:08Speaker 02

  friend, son, brother, husband, father, you know. And that's, that's the thing I think I've always thought about. So the decision to end the show had nothing to do with not enjoying it anymore. It had nothing to do with it not being fun. Financially, of course, it was fantastic. But then it it got to a point where it was like, is it feeding me and us as a family? Is this environment what we want now? I don't think it is. Okay, well, then we're gonna, then we're just gonna turn it over and shake it and see what it is the other side of that. The thing I keep coming back to all the time in my in my life a lot recently is just to constantly say, well, we don't know yet.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  We don't know. I don't know yet. I can't tell you if it was a good thing or a bad thing to stop the show. I don't know. I will only know in a year or two years or maybe five years' time. Because you just don't know. You don't know at all. You know, in the same time that you might accept a role over here, and when you get that job, people are going, oh, my God, this is the greatest thing ever. And you say, well, we don't know. Me and my friend Louis, very dear friend of mine, Louis, who moved to the, moved to America to come and write on The Late Late Show. You know, uprooted his family, moved, oh, he didn't have a family at the time, had two kids in eight and a half years we were there.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  We wrote a TV show together, which got picked up at Hulu. Oh, I wasn't gonna be in it. We just created this show. And then a few months later, we wrote two scripts, and they really loved the first script, that we wrote the second script, and they said, look, we're just, we're not gonna make this show. Happens all the time. And we were, I was really bummed. And my friend Louis said the best thing. He was like, Look, if they'd have picked it up, it might have been the worst thing to ever happen to us. We might have fallen out, we might have, who knows what would have happened. It might have been a disaster. We just don't know.

• 11:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you have no idea.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  You just don't know anything.

• 11:11Jay Shetty?

  You've reminded me of this beautiful Zen story where a farmer finds a new horse. You know the story?

• 11:18Speaker 02

  It's amazing.

• 11:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, the farmer finds a new horse and everyone's excited and they're like, wow, this beautiful horse. You just came upon it. Like, how lucky are you? And he says, good thing, bad thing, who knows?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:31Jay Shetty?

  And then his son's riding the horse and he looks incredible. But then all of a sudden he gets tipped off the horse and his son falls off and breaks his leg. And everyone's like, oh no, this is the worst thing ever. Like, if only you didn't bring that horse in. And he says, good thing, bad thing, who knows? And the story continues. And hearing you say that, it's really honest of you to share that though. Because I think sometimes when we make a decision, we often feel like we have to convince ourself it's the best decision in order to make it through. But for you to actually have the vulnerability to say, I actually don't know, that takes a lot of courage.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Well, I do know that, that ending the show, I do, I do know that the reasons for it are absolutely right. No question. But, but you don't know, you don't know how those things will, you just don't know. You don't know any of it. So if you can accept all of it, if you can just say, well, this is, this is it. This is, this is life, what we're doing now, me and you sitting here. This is it. We're doing it. You're alive. And if, I think sometimes the expectation of stuff is the thing which really ruins stuff. Your expectation of what a holiday might be, your expectation of what Christmas Day was going to be like is the, is actually the problem.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  The thing that happened on holiday or the, the argument you had on Christmas Day, that's not really the issue. I didn't have an argument on Christmas Day. I'm just using it as an example. That's the thing, I think, is, is your expectation of, well, when I do this, my life will be like that. And I think my life, I think I've thought that a lot of my life. When I get my driver's licence, my life will be like this. When I get a girlfriend, my life, when I'm get my, when I move out of my parents' house, my life is gonna be like this. And it's not, it isn't, it can't be. It's, and what it is will be amazing. Cause you're gonna be alive, you know, and I think, I just feel very accepting

• 13:33Speaker 02

  of everything now at the moment.

• 13:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, there's something really beautiful that came out of what you said, this idea of reasons over results. Like you know your reasons, you don't know what the result will be, but you're sure about your reasons. And that's something we can all practise and take on. Like I think that's something everyone who's watching can apply that. You never know the result of your decision. You don't know how it's gonna pan out, but you can be sure about your reasons.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Without question.

• 13:59Jay Shetty?

  And if you feel clear about those.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  And to recalibrate perhaps what success is. And that's, I think, a big issue in a broader society. What is success? Success is not

• 14:15Speaker 02

  this amount of money. It's not this amount of gold statues and trophies. You, you know, you've got to look at it as a whole. It's really interesting if you, if there, there are, there are numerous people who talk about the night that they won an Academy Award as being the loneliest night of their life. And, and, and yet for us, looking in on that, you look and go, oh my God. That's, this is incredible. I would give anything.

• 14:50Jay Shetty?

  Why do you think that is?

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Because I think it's more, the climb is the thing. The top of a mountain, I, I think can be quite a isolating experience, actually. And the climb to the top of it is, and of course, when you get there, it's amazing. Cause you go, huh. Oh my god, you know what I mean, we did it. It's like someone that takes a helicopter to the top of Everest is not going to have the same experience as a person who's climbed it.

• 15:23Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  You're looking at the same view, but it's going to be, it's going to feel very, very different. I also think it's, it's an incredibly, you know, the anxiety of it, the fear of it, I can only ima, I don't know, I'm not, I don't know, I can only imagine. And so I think, because I think that what you realise is that the doing of the work and the climb of it is the thing that is the most satisfying. And how can there be such a thing as best?

• 15:49Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Ever, you can be the fastest runner over a hundred metres. That's, that's not up for debate. Usain Bolt, you are the fastest runner over a hundred metres. You can't be the best film. That's, that's impossible, you know, it's.

• 16:07Jay Shetty?

  It's more subjective.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Of course it is and should be.

• 16:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, where did, where did your drive for success come from? You just said that you've realised now that success is not, you know, the bank balance or this or that, these specific things. Where did your initial drive for success come from? Did you always define success in a particular way? Or was it just what you think everyone in our generation was almost chasing?

• 16:31Speaker 02

  I don't know. I, I think, for me really, from, I really don't remember a time that I didn't want to perform. I just don't remember a time that I didn't want to just perform.

• 16:48Jay Shetty?

  Did you perform at school and at home?

• 16:49Speaker 02

  I mean, everywhere, everywhere. I would call it performing. I'm sure some people would call it showing off. My mum would, you know, oscillate between the two, stop showing off, still, you know, like, I just, I just loved, I just loved, I loved performing in, in, in, in any shape or form, school play, church.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Playground. I just, I really, really loved it. Like, I can remember so vividly the first time I was ever sort of on what we'd call a stage. So we grew up in, I was a, we were a family that were in the Salvation Army, which is a church that's also a charity. And, and like any church you're born into, you think that this is completely normal. You know, when you're, any church you're born into. And then you'd like, whether we, you know, we would like put on a uniform. And my, we would, my dad would, you know, occasionally march down the road in a brass band and

• 18:00Speaker 02

  we would do Christmas caroling and I would play the trumpet. And you just thought, well, this is just completely normal life. And then you get to about 15 and you're like, guys, this is really weird. But it was essentially a church and that's what we'd go to. And a church from what I can really work out now retrospectively was perhaps full of the least Christian people I've ever met in my life. Like many churches, you know, at its core, good. Infect it with people becomes something very, very different. And

• 18:32Speaker 02

  and so we're in High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire and, and my sister was three, no, four. My sister Ruth was four and it was her christening. And we were on the, the platform, which was, you know, to all intensive purposes, looked and felt like a stage to me. And the Salvation Army officer, the vicar, the priest, I couldn't see because I was, you know, quite small. And he said, let's get James a chair. And I stood on this chair and I could just see. There was maybe, I don't know, 30 people in the congregation. It looked like a thousand. And I just started like pulling these faces and.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Turned around and looked back through my legs and people are chuckling. And I was like, well, this feels fantastic. And then what I really remember is sitting back down in the congregation. And my, I was sat between my mum and dad and Person's Back is in front of me. And I remember being like, well, this is boring. This isn't nearly as much fun as being up there. And I was, I was seven at the time and no, I was four. And my sister was obviously a newborn, so I was four. And I remember just thinking, well, this is, that's, that's it now. Life is a quest to, to be up there as much as possible.

• 19:59Jay Shetty?

  Oh, that's beautiful.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  So I think that's what I always thought success was like my, my, my absolute ambitions were to be in a West End musical.

• 20:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  That was it. That was like, that was the peak. And literally it was a road away from where we are now at the Prince Edward Theatre. And I was 17 and in a musical. And I was, I honestly genuinely was like, well, that's it for me. I will, it cannot be greater than this. That's how, that's where my absolute ambitions were to be just on a West End stage.

• 20:31Jay Shetty?

  That's spectacular. I mean, you said there were misses naturally in the journey that I laid out in the beginning. I wonder what were some of the most painful or tough misses? Whether when you were younger, as you got older, what were the ones that you look to and say, I'd love people to know about this or learn about this because when you look at it from the outside, it is easy to see here, here, here, here. But these are the couple that maybe would surprise us.

• 20:56Speaker 02

  Well, well, there's things that you, that you do that just naturally aren't very good. That's the first, you know what I mean? There's things that you, you do and they're not, they're not very good. Those things you, you understand why they didn't connect because they're not very good. You know? And I oddly, I don't feel a sort of sense of any.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Disappointment in that realm, do you know what I mean? Because, because someone asked me once, because I was in that film, I was in that film Cats, right, of the musical Cats. And, and you know, I haven't seen it, but like, by all accounts, not good. And didn't do very well. And someone said to me, oh God, you regret that. I was like, no, I'd do it again. I had a great time.

• 21:40Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 21:40Speaker 02

  You have to separate sometimes your own experience and the outcome of a project. Because you can do things that do really well, but at that time in your life, it was a disaster.

• 21:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean?

• 21:54Jay Shetty?

  Such a good point.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  And at the same time, at the same time, you can do stuff which isn't good, but actually you had a really great, you know what I mean?

• 22:02Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  You know, if I, when we were shooting Cats, we had an afternoon and I sat in this weird green suit with dots on your face.

• 22:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  With Ian McKellen and Judi Dench.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  And I wouldn't swap that for anything.

• 22:17Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  To literally sit and talk to Sirian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench about, I couldn't tell you what we talked about. I couldn't tell you if it, you know. And I was like, well, how lucky am I?

• 22:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  This is extraordinary. So I think.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  I did this, I did a TV show which came out, I, I think about maybe just two years ago now, maybe 18 months ago.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Which was on Amazon called Mammals, which I was really proud of. And I really, I really hoped that people would find that and they, and they didn't. That's the only, that's the only thing that I look at and I think, oh. Because it got reviewed well. It's written by, I think, the best living playwright at the moment, you know, or certainly young living playwright called Ches Butterworth, who wrote like Jerusalem and the Ferryman and Mojo, but then also wrote Skyfall and Spectre and Indiana Jones. And it was me and Sally Hawkins and Malia Crulligan. And that's, that's the only, that's what I would say, that's the only thing that I go,

• 23:31Speaker 02

  ah, I wonder what we could have done differently to make people find it. But then we don't know yet.

• 23:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, you don't know.

• 23:39Speaker 02

  We don't know.

• 23:40Jay Shetty?

  And you don't know when it's gonna take off again. Like, I love hearing about.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  But even if it doesn't.

• 23:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  We don't know. You know, you know what I mean? Like, you just, you just have to.

• 23:50Jay Shetty?

  I love what you just said, mate. I love that perspective of the idea that, and I can relate to that. I've had moments in my life where I'm having one of my biggest external career wins, but I didn't have the right people around me to celebrate it with. And therefore it's not as gratifying or as celebratory, or it's not as meaningful. Whereas you could have had something that externally, like, no one cared, but you had the people around you where you knew what you'd built and you knew what you'd created. And I love that. That resonated so strongly, honestly.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  Well, also the, the notion that, I don't know, the way I see it is every single day, your life can get turned over and flipped on its head in a phone call. Every single day. Like, I, I used to say that to, to my wife Julia all the time when we were in Los Angeles, where I would go, every day we live here and the phone doesn't ring in the middle of the night to tell us something's happened at home is an absolute win. It's an absolute win. And you just have to be so aware that those things are coming and those things are real.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  And all the stuff that we're talking about over here, work and all those things, it's, it's not, it isn't, it isn't those things that are just gonna.

• 25:11Speaker 02

  Just bang. And you're and then you're talking about life before and after. Before and after those moments. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, you know, and I'm forty five. And my friend said to me, and it's quite a dark thought, but actually it's good to be. He said, we've, he said, he's forty five also. And he, he said, we've, we've turned the corner into sniper's alley. And I said, what do you mean? I didn't know what he meant. And he said, you've, you're now in an alley and suddenly people are gonna just. And you're gonna go, oh, my God, like, it's just that, it's that, that, that shift in life of like, oh, this is where, like, I'm very fortunate. Both my parents are still alive.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  So that's inevitable. That's definite. And then you're in this world of just absolute unknowns. So I think the older I get.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  I just the less I sort of think about work in that way. I just don't. And maybe because I've had six months of, of real reflection. Six months of not really doing anything. You know, I'm doing, started this, this podcast that I'm really, really enjoying. Outside of that, I'm writing some stuff, some of it I hope people will see. Other stuff, I'm certain they never will. You know what I mean? And I, you know, and some of it, I hope they never will. That's a terrible idea, you know, and you just don't know. And so I just think less about work and I wanna think more about my health and all those, all those things, you know?

• 26:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, walk me through what like, like you've had all these transitions in your life. Walk me through what your reflection process looks like in your head. Like, just for you personally, like, it doesn't have to be systematic or perfect. Just what is it? What do, what do you go through? Is it looking at going, well, am I helping my family? Am I taking care of them? Is that the number one thing? Or are there other things that go through your head? Because I feel like you've had to make some big transitions.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  Well, that's, that is, that's, that's the number one thing. You're only as happy as your least happy child is a wonderful saying, which is without question true. There is, there is nothing that can happen in your professional life that will matter.

• 27:37Speaker 02

  If one of your children is unhealthy, unwell, either mentally or physically, this is irrelevant. So that's, let's park that as a given. Yes. Very clear. In terms of my reflection, I mainly, I just think, like, I'm so aware of time and the, and the, and the passage of time. And that this is, this is it. And you have to go, okay, well, now, how do you really, really want to use your time? Cause I think when I was hosting the show,

• 28:20Speaker 02

  I think I probably knew this at the time.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  But I recognize it more now that I think I said yes, a lot. Perhaps to too much because I, I just loved, I knew I wasn't going to host that show forever. I didn't want it to be the end of the book. I didn't want it to be the last thing I did. So I didn't want it to be a shock when I finished the show and said, oh, I'm going to go back to act again now. Because I was very aware that there was a lot of people watching that show who had no idea that I'd ever acted before that. So I really just said, yes, I'll do it. I'll be there. I'll do it. And I think I understand my reasons for it. But now I think mainly the thing I'm really thinking is, well,

• 29:10Speaker 02

  forget what you can do, forget what's possible, forget what's in front of you, forget what's offered to you or not offered to you. What do you actually want to do? What is worthy of your time? What is worth not taking your kids to school in the morning or picking them up at four o'clock? What are the things? That's really the question you're asking yourself, you know? And like, I don't have like so much money that I don't have to ever work again. I really, really don't. Whatever you might read on the internet, I cannot stress to you, untrue. And so, you know, it's, it's, it's that thing of just going, well, what, what do you, what do you want to do? Is there anything that you want to say? And if there isn't, then don't.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  And then, and it will come, it will, it will, it will come and, you know. It's interesting this since moving back to London and I feel in a different cultural space, I'm trying my absolute best to hit 10,000 steps a day. That's I'm really, really, really trying to do that. And so sometimes I'll just go and, once the kids are asleep, I'll go and I'll be, I'll look and I'm like at 8,000 steps and I'm like, babe, she's gonna go and I'll literally walk up and down the road and to come back in. And in that time of walking, I'm starting to feel the notion of like, oh, is maybe that's, is that an interesting

• 30:39Speaker 02

  idea? But don't leap on it.

• 30:41Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Don't go, that's it, let's go, let's book a flight, let's pitch it. It's to go, oh, well, let's, let it, let's see if it, almost to treat it like a plant, really, and go, we're gonna water it for a minute, see if there's something there. And already now, I'm like, well, thank God, I didn't go and tell someone about that.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Have you ever read that thing about doing the thing?

• 31:04Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  I mean, that's my, I just, I just look at that almost every day, doing the thing. Just do the thing. Don't talk about doing the thing. Don't tweet about doing the thing. Don't, just do the thing. The doing the thing is the thing. And that's all I'm really trying to do.

• 31:26Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's fascinating because I find like, you know, you've been performing, as you said, you love performing. When you were a kid, you've been performing for decades now. And it's almost like an identity shift when you stop yourself from performing. In an, in a, I'm talking about performing in a play or in a movie or on stage, like you're not allowing yourself to do something that feels so pure and true. And I can see in your eyes when you were talking about it, like brings you to life.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:53Jay Shetty?

  And, and almost removing yourself away from that requires you to.

• 31:58Jay Shetty?

  Rethink your identity a little, like, like, who, who are you today? Or how are you feeling about who you are when you're not performing? When you've been so used to entertaining crowds for... This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come. Orange Theory Fitness provides a one-hour workout to build strength, burn fat, and build muscle with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangetheory.com/onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage in studio for details.

• 32:42Jay Shetty?

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• 33:26Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. The best habits are the ones we hardly notice, the ones that quietly shape the way we move through life, giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with your drive, so you can stay present behind the wheel. That commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards.

• 34:08Jay Shetty?

  Than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Mazda, more of what matters to you. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. So long.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  But that's ego, I think. That's ego. That's what you're talking about is ego. I lived for eight and a half years, what could only be described as a narcissist's dream. Do you know what I mean? Like, and I, I cannot stress how much I think being the host of a late night TV show is one of the greatest jobs in the world. I think it's amazing. I think it is brilliant. Like, my God, how lucky am I to have done that? I think it's amazing. You know, but if you were another Wayne client, you, you know, drive into a studio lot.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  You drive past a massive picture of your face. That's, that's the first thing you see when you get to work is a huge picture of your face and your name. You then park in an amazing parking spot with your name on it. You go in, like, I tell you the thing I miss most about the show is my, like, I miss seeing, there's a great lady called T. Who was on the front desk of CBS and I would just, I, my interaction with her every day, I, I just grew to love it so much. Morning T, morning James, how's it going? All good. And as I walked through the door, she'd say, have a good one. And I'd go, have a good one. And it would be a race to who could say it first.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  You get in a lift, you come out the lift to be greeted by another picture of your face. Do you know what I mean? It's like another picture of your face, your name. You turn a corner and then you start walking up a corridor. And there is just, your name and face is everywhere, right?

• 36:10Jay Shetty?

  Pictures of you with everyone.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  Everywhere. Then you get to say, well, what are we going to do tonight? Backup. But then you get to like, shoot a sketch with Matt Damon or drive around in a car with Stevie Wonder.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Then you'll come back into work, get dressed. You work also in a gang of people who are the funniest people you've ever met in your life, ever. And they only want to try and make you seem funnier, and that's amazing. And you chat with them and you're hanging out with them. And then, good day, bad day, indifferent day, your day will end with a standing ovation.

• 36:44Jay Shetty?

  That's amazing, yeah.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  You'll step out of a curtain and 400 people will go nuts. And you've got to remember, and the thing that I would just remember all the time is the other side of this camera is a sign that says applause. Do you know what I mean? There is people going, you know what I mean? And the walk down from that office, green room to the studio is an amazing change in your psyche, because you're with all your, and very slowly. I remember the first show, because really you're in a gang, you're in a team where you make a late night show. It's just a gang, you're all making it together. And then at some point, people tap you on the shoulder and go,

• 37:29Speaker 02

  have a good one. And then you are surrounded by people, you walk in, microphone, makeup, touch of the, you enter a door and you hear, you know, the other side of this thing, you hear 400 people screaming, you hear a guy going, okay, that's everybody on your feet. Let's go, this is how we do it. Another look at the chair, all right, everybody, here we go, let's get ready to.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  Okay, and we're gonna have five, four, three. And you find yourself stood behind a curtain,

• 38:01Speaker 02

  completely on your own. And suddenly this team effort, you're just, you are on your own. And the spotlight's behind you, so this, this circle is on the curtain and a shadow of you.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  I used to stand there, I'd open my hands. Take a breath. I would look and I would say to my, I always have this feeling that my granddad is getting a real kick out of all this. I so he is not with me in any spiritual sense. He's just in for the ride of it.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  You know, like, I know that he just, you know, he's a jazz musician. He would be like, this is fun, Jase, you know, and and I would open my eyes and I would look up and say, be with me. Just be with me and be here now. And for the next hour, your only job is to enjoy yourself as much as you can. It doesn't matter what's happened all day. It doesn't matter what happens on tomorrow's show. Your only job is to enjoy this right now. And I and I did, and I, you know, we did one thousand one hundred and ninety eight shows, I think. And I I just loved it. I loved it. So it's a lot to leave behind. It's a lot to walk away from.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  But I also think this

• 39:27Speaker 02

  period of silence is so good for me. I'm getting as I'm getting as much or more from this period now.

• 39:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  Like, I, you know, it's so odd that I used to do that every day, that then even speaking to you now, I'm like, God, I haven't spoken to anybody in this sense.

• 39:47Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Since

• 39:51Speaker 02

  April. I haven't done anything.

• 39:54Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  And it so it feels odd, you're like, oh, man, this is. And the podcast I'm doing, I'm loving because I'm in your chair.

• 40:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  And I'm, but even now, this feels unnatural and there is a feeling of like, I don't know what I've got to say. But then you go, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna get to meet Jay, so that'll be lovely, you know?

• 40:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  So what is life without it?

• 40:20Speaker 02

  It's it's it's great. It's great, I think, because I really, really always knew that this wasn't gonna be forever. I always knew I wanted to leave before

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Ebb away. I just knew that I wanted to, to, to, to do it. And then stop doing it and see if there's something else. And if there isn't. Okay, great.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Who could wish for more? Do you know what I mean? I guess that's the thing. I look now and I think I don't want any more

• 41:03Speaker 02

  stuff or, or fame or all those things. Like what I'd really love to do is go, I wonder if I've got one more thing to write. I wonder if there's one more thing to say, like, I wonder if there's just something else and I don't know yet.

• 41:21Jay Shetty?

  What a brilliant way to live. I mean, when you just said that, the idea of I knew that it wasn't going to last forever and I didn't want it to. That's so the opposite of how we're conditioned to think. Most of us are conditioned to believe when you find something good, hold on to it forever. Make sure it lasts forever because you never know. And I love your perspective because I think not only is it healthier for the mind and the ego, it's actually the reality of life that everything is ephemeral and transient and it will move anyway.

• 41:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:54Jay Shetty?

  And so you wanting to hold on to something that isn't yours to control is almost a fool's game anyway.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  Well, then you're a kid with a balloon.

• 42:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Right? And you go and hold, I'm never, I'm never ever going to let this balloon go. Right? And ignoring for this for a second, the environmental impact of letting a balloon go. Let's talk about it just metaphorically, you know? That you go, I'm, this is my balloon. I'm hold this, but I'm never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to let go of this balloon. In fact, I'm going to go, I'm going to tie it to my wrist. So it can't disappear because that happened to me once before. And it, you know what I mean? I'm going to just, you know, that's it. And then slowly that balloon will just wilt and it will run out of the thing that made it great. And it will just then be, then it's tied to your wrist and you're dragging it behind you. Right? And actually, there's something quite beautiful.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  And again, environmentally, I'm not encouraging this. We didn't know about this when we were kids. When you let go of a balloon, it's magical. Magical.

• 43:00Speaker 02

  Look, and then you see it and you're like, oh my god, I used to have that. I used to hold on to that and look at it now, look, it's just flying, that's amazing. And then you go, well, now I haven't got a balloon. And then you go, well, maybe I'll get another one. Maybe there'll be another balloon and maybe it'll be a different shape or it'll be shinier or whatever it is like. You've got to be able to let go of stuff to make new things. Coming, you've got to have the space and the time to encounter something new. A friend of mine, a year ago, maybe less,

• 43:44Speaker 02

  had his heart broken in, in, in the most brutal circumstances.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  It was his first love, first girlfriend. And they broke up and he was just not in a good way.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  And this was his first real, proper, serious girlfriend, certainly the first time he'd been in love before. I just found myself saying to him, I was like,

• 44:16Speaker 02

  this is great.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  This is great because you really only understand what love is once your heart's been broken. You understand how tender it is. And I was like, and you understand it now and what's, you're looking at this all wrong. You, you get to do it again. You get to do this again. You're gonna meet someone else and feel all these feelings and perhaps you'll go into that relationship, learning what you've learned from this relationship. And that will then feed that relationship in a different way. And like, and he's just met someone, right? And he's like, oh my god, this is amazing.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  And I'm like, yeah. Got that balloon again. Yeah, like, that's it, that's it. And so, again, I think it's expectation is the thing that, that, that makes us hold on to stuff. If you can just ebb and flow with stuff, you're gonna find it so much easier to take. The good, the bad and the everything in between is just all being good for you, I think.

• 45:28Jay Shetty?

  James, you're a philosopher. Who knew? We're gonna have to add it to the list. We're gonna have to add it to the list of, uh, list of the titles. No, genuinely, I mean, that visual you just painted of the balloon, that's gonna stay with me for a long time. I've probably never heard it.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  I didn't, I don't, I don't, I don't know that it's a thing. I think we've just might have made it up.

• 45:48Jay Shetty?

  You made it up, but it is so.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  Banksy made it up.

• 45:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, there we go.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  You've taken Banksy's image.

• 45:54Jay Shetty?

  No, that's such, it's such a beautiful way of sharing that lesson. There's, you know, a Zen saying that says, what's holding you back is what you're holding on to.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:09Jay Shetty?

  And, and that's, you know, but that visual that you just painted is so powerful. And even the visual that you painted of saying that you come out to all this rupturous applause and, you know, the hoo-ha and the idea of you coming out onto the stage, but you're thinking about the fact that the screen says applause on the other side.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  Because I think if you don't, it's really dangerous. I think it's really dangerous.

• 46:33Jay Shetty?

  Were you conscious of that? And have you been conscious of that the whole time in your career?

• 46:38Speaker 02

  No, not the whole time, for sure.

• 46:40Jay Shetty?

  When did, when did that become like a real, because that's Marcus Aurelius meditations at its best. Marcus Aurelius famously had a.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  I don't know this.

• 46:49Jay Shetty?

  So Marcus Aurelius, when he would walk around the Roman town square, he had an assistant that would follow him around. And the role of the assistant was that whenever anyone in the town square would say, Marcus Aurelius, you are such an amazing emperor. You are phenomenal. You're incredible. The assistant's only job was to whisper in his ear, you're just a man. You're just a man.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 47:11Jay Shetty?

  And that sort of practice. And so when you said that, that's what I, that's the first thing I thought of when you said the applause. I was like, wow, you, you know, you're, you're living that.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  I think I've probably fallen into the pitfall of thinking I was more of a dude than I really was. Quite early-ish in my career, I think. I guess in a way, I think I'm, I think, I don't know. I think I'm sort of entering. Phase three, right? Yeah. If if phase one was History Boys writing Gavin and Stacey. Phase two was moving was one was going to Broadway to do One Man Two Governors. Everything that came with that and then ending up hosting a late night TV show. And phase three will be whatever this is, and I don't know.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Um, I I mean, look, I've fallen into all those pitfalls of thinking that you're more of a dude than you really are. Thinking any of this is it's like fame and it was success or whatever, you know, level of that I'm kind of have in a in a way like is on the whole a picnic, right? It's great. It's great. It's lovely. People come up, they talk about things and all you or to things that they that they've liked or enjoyed. And certainly being back here in London, you know, it's amazing hearing people talk about like Gavin and Stacey and stuff, which obviously I would never hear in America. It's and I'm so proud of that show. And I think I've started to think of like, don't confuse the selfie. Right?

• 48:46Speaker 02

  I don't think this I think for me, I think it's different if you're like

• 48:52Speaker 02

  Brad Pitt, Harry Styles, do you know what I mean? Adele, like, I think that's a different, that's that's a whole, that's an aura and an orb of of of fame, which I think is not what I'm talking about now. Whereas I think on the whole, when people are asking for a selfie with me, it isn't really of anything to do with me. I think it's just people go, well, this is going to be good on my story. Right? I do. No, I do. No, I but I'm not that is not any faux, I genuinely believe that. I think people are going, well, he's there.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  He's only over there. This is gonna, this is gonna be great.

• 49:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  In amongst the other four photos of my day, right? And so, and I love taking photos of people. I don't say no. So I used to say no when I was with my kids. More, but, but now they have a bit, a bit, a bit better understanding of it and I don't need to hold their hands all the time. So that was my, my wife was like, you cannot give your attention to someone else when they're that night. So Charlotte.

• 49:55Jay Shetty?

  Walking by the road.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Whatever. So Charlotte sees, so if I'm out with like, you know, my, my two eldest, it's always a lot easier now. And it's, people are, people are really great and cool and lovely. But I don't ever, ever in my, ever in my life go, I got all these people. They just want a photo. What can I say? I just go, no, no, no, this is, they didn't find me. They haven't been waiting for me. I just happen to be in the same Joe and the Juice as them. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, ah, might as well, you know?

• 50:28Jay Shetty?

  I love that. That's amazing. But no, I, I do love how, how conscious you were of that. And, and it's, uh, it's, it's, it's so, it's so fun because that mindset, that approach to success, that approach to fame makes everything just feel wonderful and beautiful. And it makes everything so, you know, in the sense of, when I don't, I don't mean perfection. I mean, in the sense of, it gives you a sense of joy in an interaction, removing the expectation and the weight that can come with it.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Yeah. I also just think you have to just take it all with a bag of salt.

• 51:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  All of it. Everything.

• 51:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  Everything, good, bad.

• 51:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  You know, it, if you just can take it with the same bag of salt.

• 51:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 02

  And, and distance yourself from it. You can just sort of go, well, that's over there.

• 51:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  That's happening over there. And, but, but I'm, but what's really, I'm here.

• 51:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  And here are my friends and my family, all those things. And just, and also just being so aware of like.

• 51:35Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  How lucky you are.

• 51:38Jay Shetty?

  Yep.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  How lucky you are. And if you lose sense of that, and I understand when people do, by the way. And I have, you know, other points in my career and in my life and I don't. I'm not walking around like this every day, like I have all those same things, right? So this, it's not like I'm sort of floating around like I'm really, really not. And a lot of this really is predicated on just how much sleep I get.

• 52:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 52:09Jay Shetty?

  Mate, that's true for all of us.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  Like, that is it.

• 52:12Jay Shetty?

  You know what? I've been on this supplement recently, I was talking to my, so I'm very into, you know, biohacking and health and all the rest of it. And so I was, I've been testing this supplement I've been having for the last 30 days. And it's, it's like boosted my mitochondria so much that I can't get to sleep. I have so much energy and I was telling, I was telling my doctor, I was like, mate, I really want to sleep. Like I enjoy sleep. I'm someone, I'm not someone who sacrificed to sleep. I enjoy sleep.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Sleep is.

• 52:39Jay Shetty?

  And I haven't been able, I haven't really been able to sleep because of this one supplement.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Do you think that's anything to do with that also jet lag and the time difference?

• 52:45Jay Shetty?

  I think there's a bit of that, but I've been here for like 30 days now. So I'm like, it should have gone in after a week or two, but I agree with you. Coming from LA to London is the harshest jet lag, right? Because I go from sleeping at nine.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Never really get used to it.

• 52:58Jay Shetty?

  Oh, it's really rough. And so it could be that, but I feel like, yeah.

• 53:03Speaker 02

  Sleep is so rarely, I mean, I think there, I'm saying rarely talk about, we probably talk about it more now than we ever have in the last 40 years. But like, sleep is this extraordinary gift. And I think I'm probably more aware of it now because I've got a 12 year old who is, who seems to think that sleep is some sort of punishment. Do you know what I mean? Like he views sleep as like, why would you do this to me? And like, dude, I don't want to be awake right now, you know? And, and it's only like in.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  In Alan DeBotton's new book.

• 53:43Jay Shetty?

  Yes, please.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  Which I just, I bought for you as a gift.

• 53:46Jay Shetty?

  Thank you.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Which I think is called A Therapeutic Journey. A therapeutic journey, which I bought for you. I don't know if you want to plug other people's books.

• 53:54Jay Shetty?

  No, please, no.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  It's not as good as How to Live Like a Man.

• 53:58Jay Shetty?

  Alan DeBotton and The School of Life, I'm a big fan.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Genius.

• 54:01Jay Shetty?

  Fantastic, yes, very big fan.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  And he's got a section in that book where he talks about sleep. And he says, when you've got a newborn baby, when you've got a newborn baby, you are very, your only intention is to put this child into a routine and make sure that they sleep at the right time, for the right amount of times, and therefore you feed it the right food to make sure it's the, you know, to the right, we have to, because if you don't get the right sleep, they are going to be awful tomorrow. And then at some point, we just decide, well, I don't need to do that. That's only for a baby.

• 54:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  I can sit with my phone at midnight, just looking at a stream of 30 second videos to then, to not sleep and imagine that I'm going to be okay tomorrow. And I, I find that, that sleep is just like this gift.

• 55:00Jay Shetty?

  Oh, tell me about it.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  And the better sleep I have, that without question, in every facet of my,

• 55:06Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  in every facet of my life, I'm, I'm better.

• 55:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Like, I'm really thinking about, you don't drink, right?

• 55:14Jay Shetty?

  No, no, no, I haven't.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  So I'm, how, when, how long have you not drunk?

• 55:18Jay Shetty?

  I would say, how old am I? Like, maybe 18 years or something?

• 55:25Speaker 02

  Right, but did you ever, were you, did, right, okay.

• 55:28Jay Shetty?

  Not in alcohol, I was never an alcoholic, but I drank socially, enjoyed it, had fun, loved drinking games. Like, used to hang out with the lads and like, yeah.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  So you're about where I am, so I, I, I really, really.

• 55:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  I, I don't, I very rarely drink at home. I never really get in and go, I'm going to have a glass of wine or a gin and tonic. But if I go out.

• 55:47Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  And if I'm out, I'm like, I love the feeling of being

• 55:53Speaker 02

  three and a half drinks in.

• 55:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 55:55Speaker 02

  Between three and six, I am, look at Raj's face, he knows what I'm talking about.

• 56:01Speaker 02

  I am, I can feel it in my knees and I love it, right?

• 56:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  And now as I've got older, I'm just really, I'm really, I'm going to really try to just stop doing that. Like with no great declaration, you know, you know, I just am really, really gonna try not to do that because my friend, a good friend of mine, my friend Jez, I spoke to him about it and I was like, how did you just manage to just, did you just stop doing this? And he said something to me and I think you'll really like this. He said, I, he said, I started asking myself, and I do think this changes post probably like thirty seven, thirty eight. It starts to change in your body.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  And he said, I started to ask myself, how, how much of tomorrow do I want to borrow? All I'm doing now by drinking is borrowing from tomorrow.

• 57:03Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 57:04Speaker 02

  Right? It's like, it's like you're going to a cash point.

• 57:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  You're going to a cash point and you're going, I'm gonna withdraw three hours from tomorrow that I will be useless. And then probably if I just borrow three hours around about noon or one, I'll start to feel okay.

• 57:23Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  So I'm borrowing from tomorrow.

• 57:25Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  And that, and how many hours do you wanna borrow? And sometimes you borrow a day.

• 57:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  And then the only way you think you can rescue that day is to go, let's have another one. You know?

• 57:36Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  And I thought that was a really amazing way of looking at it. And so my, my intention is, is to really try and, and not do that. I just want to try, try and just be healthier. I don't even sort of think about. Weight loss anymore. I've done that so many times in my life. Just made so many like decisions of just right, this is it. I'm not going to go, why don't you change that? Cause that isn't working. Why don't you just only try and do what is healthy? And see how that impacts your

• 58:13Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Frame.

• 58:14Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  You know?

• 58:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I like that approach. I mean, you know, I think it's natural when when we're recording this. It's like New Year's resolutions and start of the year and all that kind of stuff. And I think all of us know that about eighty percent of us drop off by the end of January. By February, we're not practicing this New Year's resolution, this massive commitment we made. And it's almost because we go from this huge extreme from being indulgent in December to trying to be hyper intentional in January.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:43Jay Shetty?

  And trying to go from one extreme to the other and none of us can hack that. It doesn't work.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Well, a friend of mine said a really good thing to me. My friend Simon said to me, he said, you need to stop going on a diet. Cause my weight has has gone up and down. You know, I can, I can see it in in too many videos on YouTube. Like where I was up, where I was down. I used to have like three sets of suits. Lauren Shapiro, who was our wardrobe designer on the show, who I am now saying, as I said it out loud, would have hated hearing her name on on your podcast. And I, my time with her, I used to just love so much because like I said, so much of the day would be a lot of people. And then it would just be me and her choosing suits and choosing what I'm going to wear.

• 59:29Speaker 02

  And we'd chat about the day and, you know, we've had moments where we cracking up laughing. We have other days where one of us is really down and it would just be this little precious moment in this very small walk in closet that was off my, off my office where all the suits were. And my time with the, those are the things I really miss.

• 59:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 59:50Speaker 02

  That's the stuff I really, really miss. And she very, very subtly, and we never talked about it. We never ever talked about it, but I knew what she did and I was grateful was she basically started organizing my suits into like. Really fat, fat and always looking good. You could see and she would just.

• 1:00:14Jay Shetty?

  You always look good, mate.

• 1:00:15Speaker 02

  She, no, but she would just very, very in the, in the just. And I would go and then we just became a thing where I'd be like, yeah. I think we're, you know, particularly if we came off a hiatus or a go away and just I'd go. I think we're gonna be and she'd be like, mm hmm. And we'd never really speak about it. But my friend, my friend said, my friend Simon said, you need to stop going on a diet. I said, what do you mean? He said, you've got to stop. You've got to stop going on a diet. He said, because going on a diet is like going on a holiday. You are going to return. You're gonna come back.

• 1:00:50Jay Shetty?

  Wow, that's good.

• 1:00:51Speaker 02

  If you go on a diet, what you're saying is this is short term. He said, you need to just go, this is how I live now.

• 1:01:02Jay Shetty?

  That's good.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  And this is it. That's not going, I don't eat any bread. No, no, in moderation, it's probably good for you to eat certain types of bread. But that's it. And you're gonna, don't just stop this thing of being like, oh, guys, I'm not, I'm on a diet. And he was like, and stop broadcasting it. Stop saying it. Just stop saying it. Just go, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna try and exercise like this. I'm gonna try and walk like I'm trying to do and just be like, no, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna eat this and don't. Don't be like, well, I wanna be down 20 pounds in 35 days, like, cause you've done that.

• 1:01:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  And you know how that plays out.

• 1:01:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Don't go on something.

• 1:01:47Jay Shetty?

  That's good.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  Change something.

• 1:01:48Jay Shetty?

  That's good. I like that. Yeah. On a diet, on a holiday. That's good. That's strong. You've got some wise friends, James.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  I do.

• 1:01:54Jay Shetty?

  There's a lot of good, there's a lot of great advice. Are these, are these friends for like life? Are these friends recently like?

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  But some of, some of my friends, Simon, I've known probably, yeah, probably about nine, nine years and then I have, yeah, I have like friends. I've known for 35 years, you know what I mean? Like.

• 1:02:09Jay Shetty?

  What's it taken to keep those? Because I find like, I've been talking to a lot of my male friends about this recently and this idea of, you know, do we have, do you have a friend that you could call in the middle of the night? And you know they would pick up, they would turn up, they would be there. Because if you have one of those friends, that's pretty rare.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:26Jay Shetty?

  And pretty incredible, especially as men, I find sometimes it's, it's almost harder to have those vulnerable relationships. But you seem to be having a lot of open, vulnerable, healthy conversations with.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Men in your life. But I think it's easier now. I think it's easier now than it used to be. I think, I hope, we're gonna move into a generation of men. And I think you and your show is responsible for that. I think lots of, I think just the ability to, to just be like, I'm struggling, is a thing which I think for a very long time, men were conditioned to, that that was weak. And actually, it's almost certainly the bravest thing you can do. It is, it is a tremendous act of bravery to say, I'm not doing too great at the minute.

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  And as soon as those words leave your mouth,

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  I reckon 20% of those things have gone. And, and I'm very, I'm very, very fortunate. I just have a lot of, I have a lot of friends that I've known for a very long time. And I, and I love them. And I tell them I love them. And I, I,

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  and I enjoy the company of people so much. You know, I, I just, you know, it's interesting you talk about who would call. Like, my friend Louis, that I was just telling you about, who we wrote that script together.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Louis had a previous life where he used to, he would go out sometimes for three days. I don't think he'd mind me saying this. He'd go out for days on end. And I always, always, I mean, I said to Jules when we met, I said, just so you know, I've got this friend Louis and he goes out for a long time. Like, you know what London was like in those times? In these very streets. Yes, yes. And I said, if he calls me, I always, I have to pick up. I always pick up. Because I always used to think he might be in trouble. This resulted in some of the funniest things I've ever heard.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  Him calling me at two, three, four, five in the morning, resulted in some of the funniest things I've ever heard. And so that's why I say to anybody who doesn't pick up the phone to a friend in the night, it might not always be bad. It might be, he called me once, I think it's okay to tell you this. He called me once and I was like, for half three in the morning. Say, hey man, are you okay? And he went, I'm, and he's drunk. And he went, I'm gonna tell you something now and it's a fact.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  I went, what? He went, it's a fact. I went, sorry? He went, what I am about to tell you is a fact. It is a fact of life and I would like to share it with you. I said, okay, this quarter four in the morning. He's like, it is a fact, James, that I have never and will never see the Jersey Boys.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  Goodbye and hung up the phone.

• 1:05:44Speaker 02

  Go on, you know, and you're like, oh, he's okay. That's brilliant. And so, yeah, I don't know. I think friendship is, I think it's sort of everything, isn't it? Yeah. Like, it's, I cherish it so much. I also think, you know, with kids, it's really important for them to see you with friends. Yes. To not separate those things, to be,

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  to involve your friends with your children and your children with your friends. Because I'm really aware that like, my son's 12 and, and like, he's, right now,

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  like, we just get on great. We get on so well. Yeah. So, we get on so well. It's, I love, it's beautiful. And I'm so aware that that is about to change. Because that is just nature, you know? I took, I took, about a year ago, before we moved, before we moved back,

• 1:06:57Speaker 02

  I took my son,

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  I can't even remember what happened. But he was kind of stroppy and, oh, really, you know, stomped upstairs. He's really not that kind of boy, but he, he did.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  And I, I went upstairs and I sat in his room.

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  And I just went to him, I said, can I ask you some questions? And he was quite taken aback. Cause, cause he thought I was gonna go, what was that about? And I went, can I ask you some questions? And he went, yeah.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  And I said, do you think I love you? And he went, yeah. I said, do you think I would ever do anything to intentionally hurt or upset you? He said, no. I said, and do you think in the 11 years that you've been on earth? Do you think I've changed dramatically? He went, no. I went, well done. You scored a hundred percent. They are all the right answers. I said, and I'm telling you this. Because over the next few years,

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  there are gonna be points you are gonna think I don't love you. You are gonna think I am intentionally trying to hurt or upset you. And you're gonna think that I've changed. And I need you to remember this, that I haven't changed. We haven't changed. You've changed and you need to. And you have to. And you are gonna go through immeasurable changes in your life and body. And all we are trying to do, me, your mum, your sisters, and it's gonna happen to them too.

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  Are just trying to help you navigate these bumps that are gonna come your way. And these changes, both mental and physical, that are happening for you. But I need you to know that I haven't changed. I'm never trying to intentionally hurt or upset you. And I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know.

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  And he went.

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  I think we should have some sort of code word so I remember this. And so we came up with, we came up with some silly code word that I would just say to him like, do you remember? And he'd be like, and he'd be like, ah, yeah, you haven't changed. I was like, my hair hasn't changed, dude. I got the same hairstyle that I had when I was 18 years old, you know?

• 1:09:28Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I got chills, that was, yeah.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  And I, I really feel that with friendship, that, that they, I'm so painfully, painfully aware that there's going to come a point where the influences that aren't me are going to become bigger on my children for a moment. And so if I can make sure that those other people that they look to are people who are aligned with how I feel, then it's going to be great, you know?

• 1:09:56Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the chance to step outside of our routine. Travel is a way of slowing us down and shifting our perspective. And with the Chase Sapphire Reserve card, every journey becomes even more rewarding. Earn four times the points on flights and hotels booked direct. Enjoy access to award winning airport lounges, three times the points on dining and reserve exclusive tables. Learn more at chase.com/sapphirereserve. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank, N A member FDIC. Subject to credit approval, terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market.

• 1:10:41Jay Shetty?

  If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in store or online. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. We talk a lot about intentional decision making, and that extends to the practical stuff too, like making sure your coverage actually works for your life. State Farm is there to meet you where you are,

• 1:11:24Jay Shetty?

  and they know how sweet it is to feel good about your decisions. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. And sometimes they're going to take advice from dad's friend more than they are from dad.

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  They are going to seek it.

• 1:11:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  They're going to absolutely seek those other role models.

• 1:11:55Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:11:55Speaker 02

  Particularly boys.

• 1:11:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  I think that's right. Is that right?

• 1:11:58Jay Shetty?

  I feel like that, yeah.

• 1:11:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know if that's completely right, but I do think that there is a, perhaps more of a thing between boys and dads and, you know, it's such a strange thing that it's so odd, you know.

• 1:12:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I remember, so you wouldn't know this because we didn't know each other then, but we became friendly with James Longman on your team years ago.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:19Jay Shetty?

  And so Long has invited me to come and watch the show. This is when I first moved to LA.

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:12:24Jay Shetty?

  When I first moved there.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Stop.

• 1:12:25Jay Shetty?

  This was like five years ago.

• 1:12:27Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:12:27Jay Shetty?

  And yeah, and I got to come and he was, he was, he's wonderful, obviously.

• 1:12:30Speaker 02

  He's the greatest.

• 1:12:31Jay Shetty?

  And so he showed me around. I got to see all the rooms and like, you know, the green rooms and every, like he was, he just gave me the best tour ever.

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  He's great.

• 1:12:37Jay Shetty?

  Took me to the photo wall. I got to put up a fake photo of myself on the wall as if I've been on the show, like, you know, all of it. It was really sweet. And we didn't know each other at all then, of course. And, um, and I didn't know anyone else apart from him. And I was just really excited to be there because I was such a fan of the show. And I remember you were, you were so wonderful, even in between the show where you're in between segments, like it's not live and you would come and chat to the audience, you'd shake people's hands. And then I remember you'd go and call your kids. And you'd literally sit at the desk before in between and just like get the because and you'd tell us you'd be like, guys, I'm just gonna call my family because I'm gonna say goodnight to my kids. And it was such a like, it was so amazing to see someone who's in the middle of everything you described so phenomenally earlier.

• 1:13:16Jay Shetty?

  But then be like, I just wanna say goodnight to my kids because it's that late, right? However late it was at that time. I think kids were going back to bed at seven.

• 1:13:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's about seven o'clock.

• 1:13:24Jay Shetty?

  Seven or whatever it may have been. And I remember you FaceTiming them and then we got to wave at wave at kids. And and I just remember how special that was. And I I just think, you know, I've heard you say before that, you know, for so many years, your your family was marching to the beat of your drum. Like they were, they were there for you. They were just holding it together for you so that you could build and create. And I just think about moments like that that you were having with them.

• 1:13:47Speaker 02

  Immediately, I'm so worried that the show you came to was terrible. It's all I can think about.

• 1:13:53Jay Shetty?

  It was Mark Ruffalo. It was great. It was great. It was great.

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  But like, that's, that's really what what really resulted in us moving back is the truth is is.

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  You know,

• 1:14:07Speaker 02

  like my, my wife just walks to the beat of my drum. My family, you know, we're going to New York. We're going to LA. I'm going here. I'm going there. Babe, I'm going to do this thing in Australia. You you're you good here with the kids? Do you know what I mean? Like, honestly, I genuinely feel I get the feeling that you might be like this. I feel like I could live anywhere.

• 1:14:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  Anywhere. I could live anywhere because we're very fortunate that you're here now in London. You're gonna go back. You're gonna go to India. You're gonna go to New York. You're gonna go to LA. Like, what a privilege. I'm so aware that that hasn't been my wife's life for the last 12 years, 13, 14 years, you know? And so really, our, our, our decision to move back was like, I was gonna stop the show. Regardless, you know, there was a, there was a moment where I was gonna stop it a bit earlier and then

• 1:15:06Speaker 02

  it was done so beautifully, my leaving of the show, like me and my boss, George, just sat in my office and literally talked it out like this. No agents, no lawyers, no nothing. Like, I said, I'd like to leave at this date. He said, Is there any way I can get you to stay to this date? It's like, I can't stay to that date because we've got to resettle. The kids have got, like, they have to start school in September, you know, and then at one point it was going to be May. And then there was, like, I think there's golf and masters and all these things. And we literally just were like, okay, we'll end it then. And that'll give us the right gap. And all of that came

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  from me just saying to Jules, like, I'll live anywhere. Where, like, where do you want to be? Where do you think it's best for us to be? Because I know she would never make a decision that isn't best for the kids. Forget me.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  And she was just like, I think it's time to go home.

• 1:16:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  I was like, okay, that's it. And I'm so, I'm so grateful that we did. Just in my family, before Christmas, we had a, my mum sings in a choir. It's not a church choir. It's just a choir with some of her friends. And we all went out to High Wycombe to watch her sing in this choir. I sat in this room in a, in John Hamden Sports Hall or their,

• 1:16:52Speaker 02

  you know, theatre or just a school hall that we were in. I cried my eyes out. I cried. I couldn't stop crying because I, my mum was in this choir with like, forty other people singing Christmas songs. And it was so pure. It was so pure. It was so the antithesis of what our life had been in Los Angeles. And I, my mum was in the corner of this, you know, like, and I just, she couldn't stop smiling. And I just thought, oh my God, this purity that's here. These are a group of women and men in there.

• 1:17:37Speaker 02

  I guess they range between thirty to sixty people. And I just was like, this is everything. I would, I don't wanna be anywhere else. This is, I only want to be here. And it was so weird. It's so weird, the effect it has on me even now saying it. I can't understand it. I can't tell you why. I think it just felt in that minute like,

• 1:18:01Speaker 02

  oh, this is the sacrifice. This is why we made what you would perceive to be a great sacrifice.

• 1:18:06Jay Shetty?

  Yes.

• 1:18:07Speaker 02

  This is the reason. Something here that I would never see. I would never come back for. I would never be part of. And then my dad joined them with a few numbers, playing the saxophone. And, uh, and I just, I just was like, oh my God. This is worth everything. This is, this is, this is everything I need to feed me. And my kids watching their grandma sing this song. I was like, how lucky are we to appreciate and have this experience?

• 1:18:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  To have come back and everyone be healthy, you know?

• 1:18:43Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, for sure. What does it take in that, in the marriage for that communication? For that, even the fact that, you know, you're both asking each other questions. You're both checking in with each other. Like, that's not easy. It's challenging. Yeah, like, what is that, what has that taken, like, from both of you? To, to really be able to make those big decisions together?

• 1:19:04Speaker 02

  It's taken me

• 1:19:09Speaker 02

  learning from my wife. That's it. That's it. Like, she, I think, has always known and always figured out how to communicate, how to do this. And I think I've been terrible at it. I think I've been rubbish at it. Cause I think I lived for a very long time, an existence of just, I, nothing will move me from this train I'm on. This is it. Oh, you're hopping on? Great. But this is, this is, it's, this is the thing. And actually, you then realise that, that, that isn't the case. I mean, we don't argue very much. We really, really try.

• 1:19:53Speaker 02

  To talk in the day.

• 1:19:55Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:19:57Speaker 02

  Right, to to not make it the last thing we do. Even if you are going to bed with like, what is that? Yeah, and and it's more her than me. She's like, well, I'm gonna talk to you about that tomorrow. You know what I mean? But it's so much better than than going to bed, going to sleep. Just don't go to sleep on an argument.

• 1:20:22Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:22Speaker 02

  That's the first thing. And I think I learnt quite. Probably halfway through our marriage. That. That actually. If all you're doing, and this is, this is an almost impossible thing to do. But if you, but if you're at least trying to, you're pretty much there. Is if you're going, well, if if all you're trying to do is meet your partner's needs, then all yours in turn will be met. They just will. Like, how many times do we hear? It's funny, we had a friend of ours, a friend of my wife's, they're friends of ours. You know, if we ever broke up, she'd get her.

• 1:21:06Jay Shetty?

  Oh, man, now you've got me thinking about all our friends, yeah.

• 1:21:08Speaker 02

  Oh, divide it up.

• 1:21:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  It's quite a fun game.

• 1:21:11Jay Shetty?

  I think my wife's gonna take.

• 1:21:12Speaker 02

  It's quite a fun game. But it and and she was saying, this is a few years ago now, she was like, oh, he just never does anything for me. I never, he never surprises me and takes me out for dinner. He never says, oh, like, oh, I'm good, you know, buys a theatre ticket. He never says, oh, Friday night, me and you, let's do this. And I just went, well, when do you do it? How often do you do that? She went, well, I don't. And I was like, right. Well. You have to see that that might be a.

• 1:21:44Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  That that might be a thing. I was like, for all we know, he's sat somewhere now going, she never takes me out. She never goes, let's go to the cinema. And she was like, oh, and I was, and I, and I really, and that's it in its most base level. I think that's probably the the thing I've learnt the most.

• 1:22:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love hearing about your relationships and the way you talk about your relationships. Obviously, this whole shift in your life is because of your relationships. And so. It's so wonderful to hear about it and you were you were giving me credit earlier for, you know, hopefully changing conversations around masculinity, but I think you did that very much so as well with your bromance comic relief videos with David Beckham. And I'd always appreciate those when they came out. I know you guys have a real bromance, but but seeing it on screen was always a real treat, whether you're doing the Calvin Klein ads together or whether, you know, or doing each other's nails or whatever it was. It was it was it was so funny. And you went to the premiere recently of his documentary, which I thought was just

• 1:22:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's brilliant.

• 1:22:43Jay Shetty?

  Phenomenal. I read Bex's biography, autobiography when I was like 15 or something, and it was life changing. I loved it. And getting to what's the doc was obviously reliving it again.

• 1:22:55Speaker 02

  Oh, I mean, what a story.

• 1:22:56Jay Shetty?

  What a story, right?

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  Just the whole thing. When I watched it, it really, really reminded me. Have you ever watched Aaron Sorkin's commencement speech at Syracuse University?

• 1:23:09Jay Shetty?

  I have not. No, I have not.

• 1:23:10Speaker 02

  Actually, me saying, you know, when I get my driver's license, my life will be like this. He actually says that in that speech. He he talks about that. And I think and that was the first time I realized that, like, oh, that's what I have always done. His commencement speech at Syracuse University is brilliant.

• 1:23:27Jay Shetty?

  Okay.

• 1:23:27Speaker 02

  As you can imagine, it's just so brilliantly written.

• 1:23:30Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:30Speaker 02

  And he delivers it. It's exceptional. It's my favorite thing to watch on on YouTube is people's commencement addresses. And his is particularly good. And I would urge anybody to go and to go and look at it. I use it. I quote it. It's fed into me, you know? And he says a brilliant line, and it really came to the forefront of my mind, watching the Beckham documentary, where he says, "The world doesn't care how many times you get knocked down, so long as it's one less than the amount of times you get back up again." And that's what I think the Beckham doc is.

• 1:24:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:09Speaker 02

  It is a story of a man who just doesn't stop. He just gets back up and he carries on. And that's what it's about. You could you could say it's about the first sportsman to become a global brand and icon. You could talk about it's the first family to have

• 1:24:35Speaker 02

  Become perhaps in Britain, outside of the royal family, a family of intrigue and interest. You could say it's a story about fame and sport. It's not. I think it's a story of someone who just kept going through adversity, through challenges, just got up and carried on. And that's why I think it's resonated so much with people.

• 1:25:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:00Speaker 02

  Because it's interesting. I don't know if you've found this, but like, it's interesting being British and watching.

• 1:25:05Jay Shetty?

  Yes, yes.

• 1:25:06Speaker 02

  So then it's because of, because people in America are like, I had no idea.

• 1:25:09Jay Shetty?

  No idea.

• 1:25:09Speaker 02

  Oh my God, those football, those soccer fans, the way they were with him. And you're like, yeah, no, I know.

• 1:25:18Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I remember the effigy, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:22Speaker 02

  You know, and then, and then Greece and that like, that's where sport though can transcend everything. It's like, it's, it's why I think sport and music, I think sport stars and musicians are, I think their fame is so different to actors and performers and hosts and writers. And I think their fame is something different because they give you moments. They give you moments in like, and I, and really what I put those moments down to is they made you feel less alone. That's actually what it is. It's why our

• 1:26:04Speaker 02

  relationship with singers and art and recording artists is so personal because I was in this play called The History Boys and it's written by Alan Bennett. And there was a, a speech that Richard Griffiths used to deliver every night. And he'd say, the best moments in poetry are when you think a thought or a feeling is particular to you. And then suddenly someone who is long dead, you may, will never meet. No, he said someone who you will never meet, perhaps even long dead. Has written down the very thing you're feeling and it's like a hand has reached out and taken yours and it says to you, you're not, you're not on your own.

• 1:26:48Speaker 02

  You're not on your own. That's a great bit in a John Lennon documentary where there's a guy saying to John Lennon, my, that song you wrote, but it's, you know, that, that was about me. It's about me. That says how I am. And then John Lennon's going, they're just songs. They're just songs. It isn't that. And he's going, no, but it is. You wrote that about me because you can't know how I felt. And so I think you've, you don't, suddenly you feel very alone. You hear something and you realise you're not. And then I think sport, when David Beckham curled that free kick in the top corner, which when we qualified for the World Cup, it did not matter. Tory, Conservative, Republican, Democrat, left,

• 1:27:31Speaker 02

  right, all the stuff, the divisions, everything, suddenly, yeah. And you're hugging people you don't know, you've never met, and you're, you're brought together and you're not alone anymore. And that's where I think sport and music is such a powerful thing in our lives, which you don't feel when you watch a film. You can watch a film or a TV show and go, oh yeah, that's good. That was amazing. Even if it moved you hugely, that connection isn't the same, I don't think.

• 1:28:02Jay Shetty?

  That's why you gave him an ugly statue of himself. For all of that, mate. That was the best.

• 1:28:08Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 1:28:09Jay Shetty?

  I, I've watched that a million times at that.

• 1:28:12Speaker 02

  That day, man. That was so much fun. That was just, I just, you know, because pranks, they're the worst thing to film. They're awful because they could just go wrong at any point. They could go wrong, one notice of a camera and hundreds of thousands of dollars gone.

• 1:28:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  And my God, that day just worked out in the best way. It was, oh.

• 1:28:36Jay Shetty?

  It's so good. If anyone's not seen it, it's so good. Like if, if you watch the doc and you love David Beckham and you love what James does, you have to go and see it. It's just, you made the ugliest statue.

• 1:28:47Speaker 02

  Well, I had the idea.

• 1:28:48Jay Shetty?

  One of the best looking men.

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  Well, I had the idea because do you remember the real Ronaldo one?

• 1:28:52Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:52Speaker 02

  Do you remember that? So then it was like, I remember going into, going into Ben's office and going. Because I think if they hadn't done that with Ronaldo in real life, I don't think David would have believed it.

• 1:29:04Jay Shetty?

  Right, right, yeah.

• 1:29:05Speaker 02

  But it was because it happened in real life with Cristiano Ronaldo that we were like, oh, hang on, we could do this. And I never thought it would work as well as it did.

• 1:29:15Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:29:15Speaker 02

  And credit, I have to say, to the actors in that sketch. I mean, just brilliant, pitch perfect.

• 1:29:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, Manchester City, that was brilliant. It was amazing. It's amazing. Walk me through that, what you just said now, that you're in that space, six months, you're reflecting, figuring it out. We're waiting for that next balloon. We've let the other balloon go. What does James Corden's creative process, stillness, waiting for the idea, building an idea, look like? What does that look like? Where does that, where does inspiration strike? Where does it come from? Where do you seek it when you've let go of something without knowing what's next?

• 1:29:58Speaker 02

  What I'm really trying to do now is not rush anything. I spent a long time squeezing so many things in that actually now I just sort of think, well, don't force an idea to be the whatever it is that you might, you know, write or do. But then at the same time, I think what I have to really be conscious of now is to not be too afraid, to not be too scared to do anything.

• 1:30:41Speaker 02

  Because I think I've been so enjoying this feeling of not being on TV every day and putting out content on, whether it's YouTube or, you know, social. I'm so aware of how much was just being pushed out all the time. And that can come with so much stuff.

• 1:31:04Jay Shetty?

  Totally.

• 1:31:05Speaker 02

  It's good to sit and work, but then don't be scared to do it. Don't be scared of. The failure of it, I've only took a screen grab. Sure. I think it's the guy who's the new CEO of Vans Shoes. Yes, yes, okay. I think. Okay. We used to work at Logitech and it says here, I've just got the screen grab, which ran for a decade, which he ran for a decade and he penned a Dr Seuss like poem titled The Secret of Success, oh sorry, The Secret to Success, Avoid It. It reads in part, "Success makes you fearful of losing your place, of gambling with stature, of losing your face." And it is, there is an element of that. Oh, absolutely.

• 1:31:50Speaker 02

  Of like, well, there's a very, very, very real chance that you do something. And it's shit.

• 1:31:59Speaker 02

  You know? And all the greats have had that, they've all done that. Oh my God. But I think that's why I was so keen to, even in this period, to make this podcast called This Life of Mine, to like go, well, no, I know, I know what this is like. This, this idea of this podcast is an idea I had when I was 16 and I wrote it out. Wow, oh, I love that. I wrote it out and it was called Planet Lovely. Better name now. It's called Planet Lovely, because do you remember there used to be a TV show on TV, on BBC Two, when we were growing up, called Room 101? Yeah, of course, yeah. So Room 101 was a show where people would take things they hated in life. Yep.

• 1:32:41Speaker 02

  And they would be, they would put them into Room 101 and they'd be gone forever. It was a really funny show, it was a brilliant show and premise. And I was like 16, I was like, well, this is great. Wouldn't it be brilliant to make a show which is just people talking about things that they love? Yeah. And things that are really significant in their life. Beautiful. And I wrote this like thing. Yeah. This Planet Lovely, it's not called Planet Lovely anymore. This Life of Mine. Just going to the decision that that's a not great title. But I was like, why don't we just have people talk about? Yeah. Things that are significant in their life, whether it's a film, a place, a person,

• 1:33:24Speaker 02

  a memory, a possession, a song. And, and, and the real, you know, I really, really wanted to do it. So I was like, can I create something in a completely different medium that feels?

• 1:33:38Speaker 02

  Almost the antithesis of what The Late Late Show was. It's it's completely different. It's calm and it's quiet and it's soft. And it's people talking about things that they love.

• 1:33:51Jay Shetty?

  I love that.

• 1:33:52Speaker 02

  Or that were moments in their life. And like, some of the stuff that we've heard has just been great. So I've really loved.

• 1:33:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:00Speaker 02

  Creativity. I love the creativity of just, I don't, you know, like, we're gonna put this on Sirius XM and hopefully people find it.

• 1:34:11Jay Shetty?

  Hundred percent.

• 1:34:11Speaker 02

  And hopefully it will be just a piece of joy. It'll be a warm hug on a Sunday afternoon. And that would be a lovely thing to put out into the world. But that's a sort of gestation period.

• 1:34:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:25Speaker 02

  Thirty years. I don't think I should do that again.

• 1:34:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:34:29Speaker 02

  But I do think what I'd really love to do is try and write one more thing.

• 1:34:33Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:34Speaker 02

  I'd love to try and write one more thing. I'd love to write again with Ruth Jones, who I wrote Gavin and Stacey with. I I I love her so much. She is and has been a a a constant in my life as a friend. And you wanna talk about a long friendship, you know. And so I'd I'd love to try and write something else with her. I don't know what that'll be. I don't even know if we'll ever, if we'll do it, I don't know. But, you know, we we do, we do have chats about.

• 1:35:07Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:07Speaker 02

  No, I think maybe this is the thing, you know.

• 1:35:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:10Speaker 02

  So that that's what I'd really love to do. It's just, have you listened to Bradley Cooper talk about making Maestro?

• 1:35:15Jay Shetty?

  Maestro, yeah, I did, yeah, recently.

• 1:35:17Speaker 02

  Well, he really just made a decision to give himself over entirely for three years to that project. To just go, well, what does it feel like, actually? To not move from one thing to the next, to be, to here, there, doing this, doing that. What is it, what does it feel like to just give myself over in every way? To the point where I imagine a lot of people around him on that set were earning more financially. But like, as a, as a, as a challenge to give himself over to it in the most beautiful way, I think his.

• 1:35:58Speaker 02

  It's so inspiring to watch and I don't know if I've ever done that. I don't, I know I haven't done that. I never liked that on that level. But like, I don't think I've ever

• 1:36:10Speaker 02

  completely just given myself over to something and seen it through from inception to pushing it on the water and letting other people decide whether it's good or not. And seeing who I am the other side of it. Like that's, I think that would be a really good thing to do. Like I might go to, I might go, there's this, I just found this like seven weekend course at the film school in Beckinsfield or seven, I don't know how many days, I can't, I don't, I might be wrong. But I like, I think, oh, maybe I'll, maybe I'll do that. I wouldn't mind doing some acting classes. I didn't, I just wouldn't mind just

• 1:36:54Speaker 02

  going, well, can I, I wonder if there's one more thing.

• 1:36:58Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:58Speaker 02

  And if there isn't,

• 1:37:01Speaker 02

  how lucky was I?

• 1:37:02Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:03Speaker 02

  You know, but I really feel like I, I might be getting to a spot where I might have something to say.

• 1:37:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:11Jay Shetty?

  James, you are, you're very unique and extremely, extremely thoughtful and conscious and so honest and genuine. It's, it's been such a treat talking to you, honestly, like genuinely just sitting with you. And I know that I'm listening to an actual stream of consciousness more than curated answers and you know, it's, it's really powerful. It's been really, really special and I want to thank you for giving me this space, holding this space and trusting with it.

• 1:37:42Speaker 02

  It's, I mean, what I said, I mean, it's a, it's a real thrill to, uh, to sit and chat with you. It's, it's, it's, it's great. It's, it's a lovely thing you've created here. It's brilliant. It's really brilliant what you're doing. I'm, I'm so, uh, it's strange. I don't know if you feel this, but I feel like.

• 1:38:02Speaker 02

  There's a strange thing with like Brits that go to America. Cause it's only like, there's only a handful of us who know how hard it is and how vast that is. So like, when I look at, when I look at your stuff and I see the things that you're putting out and like, I think I walked past like a huge billboard of you the other week and I was like, and I didn't know, and we'd never met, but we have friends in common. And I was like, yeah, I was like, I was like, go on, boy. Cause yeah.

• 1:38:33Jay Shetty?

  Not when I get to work yet.

• 1:38:34Speaker 02

  This is great. I was like, you're from, from Wood Green, is it Wood Green? Yeah, you're from Wood Green. Look at him. I'm very proud of you with no reason to be.

• 1:38:45Jay Shetty?

  No, mate, I, I appreciate it. And, uh, you know, offline today and online, you've given me a lot of mentorship and coaching that I'll take on and I'll practice in my life. Honestly, though, you've left me with some really thoughtful pieces of insight, but we end every show with a final five. And these are the fast five, which are answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

• 1:39:04Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:39:05Jay Shetty?

  And so, and I'll ruin that rule every time because you give such wonderful answers, but we'll try, we'll start there.

• 1:39:11Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:39:12Jay Shetty?

  We'll start there. So James, these are your fast five. First question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:39:19Speaker 02

  To ask yourself, is this of my concern? Right. I'm going to break it already, but I really think that phrase is one of the most important things you can hang on to is to just go.

• 1:39:34Speaker 02

  There's, there's a great power in being able to say, that's none of my concern. It's more polite than saying, I don't care. It's more truthful than saying it's nothing to do with me. Cause sometimes it will be to do with you, but is it of your concern? Do you need to engage with it? You just go, I'm sorry, what was that? Someone say something?

• 1:40:05Speaker 02

  Think about it. Oh, that's none of my concern.

• 1:40:09Speaker 02

  And carry on.

• 1:40:11Jay Shetty?

  I love that. Super powerful. Okay. Question number two. What is the worst piece of advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:40:19Speaker 02

  Oh jeez. Oh god. It's weird, you know. I think just do it, right?

• 1:40:25Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:25Speaker 02

  The Nike, if you're in America and the Nike if you're in England, Britain, the, I think just do it is a brilliant slogan, right? I think it's one of the most powerful slogans in the world. And what makes it so powerful is the, is the full stop, is the period. Just do it. Right? Just do it. Great. But that can really have other connotations. So I would say, I would say don't just do it. Ask whether you want to do it.

• 1:40:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:54Speaker 02

  And do you really want to do it?

• 1:40:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:57Speaker 02

  And then do it.

• 1:40:57Jay Shetty?

  Like, I love, I love how you just went up against the greatest slogan of all time.

• 1:41:02Speaker 02

  I do think it's a masterpiece.

• 1:41:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:41:04Speaker 02

  I just sometimes think, yeah, cause it's like, you know, I would say like, you know, crystal meth. Don't just do it. Don't just do it. Really don't just do it.

• 1:41:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I love it. Now the new one, when we go walk past the Nike store in England, it's gonna be, do you really want to do it?

• 1:41:21Speaker 02

  Ask yourself seriously, do you really want to do it? And if the answer's yes, just do it.

• 1:41:30Jay Shetty?

  I love it. I love it. I'm looking forward to seeing that billboard with you on it.

• 1:41:33Speaker 02

  It's not as snappy. I don't know if it'll really take off.

• 1:41:37Jay Shetty?

  Uh, question number three. How would you define your current purpose?

• 1:41:42Speaker 02

  I think my current purpose is to let it be. And accept whatever it is. And that's not work. That's life. Accept all of it. Don't get caught up in what you thought something should be. Just accept what it is and realise how incredibly amazing it is to just be alive.

• 1:42:12Jay Shetty?

  Brilliant. Question number four. What does it feel like when Tom Cruise says to you, your life is more valuable than his?

• 1:42:23Speaker 02

  Feels like a lie, Jay.

• 1:42:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, it feels like a lie and I think I knew that at the time.

• 1:42:34Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, but you believed it.

• 1:42:35Speaker 02

  He, I mean, man, he could say anything and I'll believe him. He could, you know, anything at all. He like, the guy is just exceptional. Oh my God, amazing.

• 1:42:46Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, special. Uh, fifth and final question, which we ask to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:42:57Speaker 02

  I think the law should be for every minute you spend on social media, that when you come off the app, you're not allowed back on for that many minutes. So if you go on for an hour, you're locked out for an hour. If you're on for two minutes, you're locked out for two minutes. And I believe that should be the absolute law. I don't prescribe to this notion that these things should be banned. I think it's insane to think that. I just think that actually we regulate the speed on the road. We regulate, uh, what age you are, when you can vote, what age you are, when you can get married,

• 1:43:40Speaker 02

  have a child, do a degree, drink alcohol, all these things. And actually, I think one regulation would be that, you know, you could, you could spend, if you need to, spend seven hours on it. The second it's dormant for a minute, you're locked out for seven hours. And I think people would be, I think it would be great. I think it would be brilliant.

• 1:44:07Jay Shetty?

  That is genius.

• 1:44:08Speaker 02

  That's my, that's my law.

• 1:44:09Jay Shetty?

  We've never had anything like that on the show. That is genius.

• 1:44:12Speaker 02

  I pitched it once to, to, I was at some conference thing, uh, interviewing quite a prominent sort of Silicon Valley.

• 1:44:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:20Speaker 02

  Type, you know, CEO. And I pitched this as an idea in the room and it did not go down well.

• 1:44:28Speaker 02

  They did not respond as well as you.

• 1:44:29Jay Shetty?

  I am in love with that.

• 1:44:30Speaker 02

  Or they were like, well, that's why would we ever do that? We are monetizing every, all of their time. We want all of their time, James. We don't want some of their time. We want to steal it all.

• 1:44:44Jay Shetty?

  I'm the opposite. I'm thinking, how do we make that happen? Like, what? That's brilliant.

• 1:44:48Speaker 02

  I think it's a really interesting thing to play with.

• 1:44:50Jay Shetty?

  Cause again, it's not, I'm on a diet. I'm on, I'm on a detox.

• 1:44:53Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Yeah.

• 1:44:54Jay Shetty?

  It's not, you know, going back to where you said, yeah.

• 1:44:57Speaker 02

  This is awful. This, you know, look.

• 1:44:58Jay Shetty?

  I'm not going to be on it for seven days and then.

• 1:44:59Speaker 02

  All of these things, all of these things, social media, the stuff like, you know, the way people, the way that, you know, the, the new thing where we talk about AI and it's like, of course it's terrifying. It's also going to be miraculous and brilliant. So nothing's, nothing is all bad. Nothing is all good. No one is all bad. No one is all good. It's impossible. But what you can do is regulate these things in a sense. And if that was just the, we would all accept it. We'd all accept it and I'm sure someone, somewhere will find a hack that means you can't. But on the whole, people would just go along with it and they'd be like, I can't open it. I'll open it in a minute.

• 1:45:36Speaker 02

  And then they would stop and look up and realize that actually maybe, maybe out here can nourish me more than it does in there. It's very hard to leave in there when it's always there.

• 1:45:49Jay Shetty?

  James, you're world class. This life of mine is available right now wherever you listen to podcasts, Sirius, right?

• 1:45:56Speaker 02

  Sirius XM.

• 1:45:56Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, Sirius XM. And so I hope you guys subscribe, follow and look out for an episode. I'm going to get to jump on the podcast too.

• 1:46:03Speaker 02

  I can't wait for you to be on.

• 1:46:04Jay Shetty?

  Really, really looking forward to that.

• 1:46:05Speaker 02

  It's gonna be great.

• 1:46:06Jay Shetty?

  And again, thank you so much, James. This is phenomenal.

• 1:46:09Speaker 02

  It's an absolute privilege. Cheers, man.

• 1:46:10Jay Shetty?

  If you loved this episode, you'll love my interview with Will Smith on owning your truth and unlocking the power of manifestation.

• 1:46:17Speaker 05

  Anybody who hasn't spoken to their parents or their brother, call them right now. Don't think you're going to have a chance to call them tomorrow or next week. That opportunity with my father changed every relationship in my life.

• 1:46:34Speaker 06

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• 1:47:03Speaker 04

  Mr. President, my company informed me of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:47:20Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped drilling? You're stalled, you freeze in there, that's what.

• 1:47:24Speaker 04

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:47:28Speaker 03

  I'm not the first daddy.

• 1:47:29Speaker 04

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a middle without parent.

• 1:47:34Speaker 07

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• 1:47:44Speaker 04

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