Mystery Boys vs. Homunculus Expert vs. Rothschild | FILE_11 | Mystery Boys

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: https://www.duncantrussell.com/tour🎤 Kurt Metzger Live Shows: https://seatgeek.com/kurt-metzger-tickets SPONSORS: If you’re over 21, head to http://Everything420.com and use code MYSTERY for 15% off your order at https://Everything420.com Save 20% on your first online Lucy order at https://lucy.co/MYSTERYBOYS with promo code MYSTERYBOYS! For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men at https://Mengotomars.com Duncan Trussell and Kurt Metzger welcome Donny Rothschild to investigate one of history's strangest legends: the homunculus. The boys explore Paracelsus, golems, occult rituals, brain organoids, cattle mutilations, and ask the important question: Is ChatGPT a homunculus? They also call Juan Ayala, the world's leading homunculologist, to separate myth from reality. Be sure to check out The Juan on Juan Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@juanonjuanpodcast. The show covers esoterica, the occult, conspiracy theories, and other unexplained mysteries. Leave your weirdest theory in the comments, like the video, and subscribe for new episodes of Mystery Boys every week. Mystery Boys File_011 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:59 - The Donny Rothschild 00:02:30 - Mike Rothschild's Jewish Space Lasers 00:05:18 - Rothschild Music Video 00:11:11 - Slam Frank 00:13:08 - Duncan Going To The Secret Rothschild Parties 00:18:50 - Learning About The Homunculus 00:22:25 - Dollar Tree Gooners 00:36:08 - Making A New Rothschild (Homunculus) 00:36:39 - Kurt Discovers Meat Clown 00:40:27 - Speaking With The Worlds Only Homuncu-ologist 00:42:13 - The Origins Of Alchemy 00:43:25 - Has Anyone Created A Homunculus Recently? 00:52:29 - Juan's Favorite Homunculus Recipe 01:03:14 - Brian Johnson's Family Photos 01:07:31 - Prophetic Homunculi 01:22:52 - Deities and Idols 01:30:41 - Cattles Being Mutilated And The Tall Whites 01:34:23 - The Cycle of Baal 01:36:51 - Heavy Animal Schlongs 01:45:47 - The Human Brain Computer Plays Doom 01:49:00 - Obama's Bad Drone Joke 02:04:18 - The Encrypted Seal Of Arch Angel Michael 02:06:02 - Occult Dream Recall Rituals 02:14:12 - Entering Donny's World Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:23Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, welcome to The Mystery Boys, with me Carpet Doug.

• 0:27Duncan Trussell?

  And the Milkman, and boy, do we have a special treat for you and for you Kurt. Uh, today with us, we have an incredible guest. With me is music producer, can I do that again?

• 0:45Kurt Metzger?

  Music producer?

• 0:46Duncan Trussell?

  With me is music producer, philanthropist, and somebody I like to call my best friend.

• 0:54Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa.

• 0:55Duncan Trussell?

  Donny Rothschild, heir to the Rothschild fortune.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  So good to be here, I'm so excited to be here. Nice to meet you Carpet Doug.

• 1:02Duncan Trussell?

  You know Carpet Doug, you've spent so much time thrashing and bashing the Rothschild family.

• 1:08Kurt Metzger?

  Not that much, I don't know.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  You talk a lot of shit and it's pissing me off, to be honest?

• 1:13Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  I'm just saying.

• 1:16Kurt Metzger?

  What did I say? Name one thing I said.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  You say our family controls the world, we're trying to destroy you.

• 1:23Duncan Trussell?

  You have said things like that. You don't remember saying that?

• 1:26Kurt Metzger?

  If you're not specific, it didn't count. Receipts or it didn't happen?

• 1:28Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it's not.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Oh, you think I have time to look at your little, your little video shows?

• 1:32Kurt Metzger?

  I'm just saying, don't trust the Milkman. So, I'll leave it at that.

• 1:37Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I'll find it. You guys, you've been talking 45 minutes of you bashing the Rothschild.

• 1:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, here's what I said. Can I tell you what I said?

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 1:45Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. I said that I thought Jewish space lasers, that's what I always called Star Wars this whole time. You know, like, like, you know, Return of the Jedi.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:55Kurt Metzger?

  Jewish space lasers, Return of the Jedi, like, that's what I thought the movie was. That's all. I didn't say you had Jewish space lasers.

• 2:03Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 2:03Speaker 02

  What?

• 2:04Kurt Metzger?

  What did you think I?

• 2:05Speaker 02

  We have, we have them, and if you keep it up, I might use it on you. Just kidding.

• 2:10Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, so I have this book?

• 2:11Speaker 02

  I like to joke, but watch it.

• 2:14Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, somebody sent me this book, um, Mazel tov. Go back, go back to the cover of that book. Right there, Jewish space lasers. Now that's by Mike Rothschild, who's not related to your family.

• 2:25Duncan Trussell?

  You know, Mike?

• 2:26Kurt Metzger?

  Is that weird to you?

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, so Mike, he was a part of the family, but, uh, he was talking a little bit too much, so he said, Mike, it's time to be your own family. Yeah, get, get out of here bubba.

• 2:37Duncan Trussell?

  That's hard.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  He's a Chatty Cathy.

• 2:38Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, put, put Mike Rothschild, are you sure he's not? Cause he says he's not related to you.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Look at, that's my, that's my.

• 2:46Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, he looks kinda red shielded to me.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's my, my second cousin.

• 2:51Duncan Trussell?

  Do you guys have barbecues?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  We, uh, yeah, but they're like different than like everyday barbecues.

• 3:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 3:01Kurt Metzger?

  Why? Cause you're rich? Oh my god.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Are you gonna like do this the whole episode?

• 3:05Kurt Metzger?

  Maybe, we'll see. You don't own this.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry you were fucking born into like a piece of shit normal family. I'm sorry that I.

• 3:14Kurt Metzger?

  We were normal, okay.

• 3:16Duncan Trussell?

  Hold on, hold on, before you guys squabble.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  Dude, it's just the whole time, is this gonna be the whole?

• 3:20Duncan Trussell?

  You know what, I have a feeling.

• 3:21Kurt Metzger?

  Legal Delta nine.

• 3:22Duncan Trussell?

  I have a feeling, I have a feeling that if you take a look, it's some of the incredible art that Donnie's produced. You're gonna have better feelings about him, aren't you guys?

• 3:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I just met the guy and all you, I'm being attacked.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  No Kurt, no, no Kurt, your energy's just fucking off. I'm here, Duncan knows this, I'm here to help the world. I am a good guy.

• 3:46Kurt Metzger?

  I wasn't even, I wasn't gonna ask you.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  Guys like me, Peter Thiel, Mark Andreessen, we are good guys.

• 3:53Duncan Trussell?

  You know what he's done from the Trussell family?

• 3:55Kurt Metzger?

  Who the fuck is Peter Thiel? I never heard of him.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  He's a good, you should check him out. He's a sweetheart of a man.

• 4:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Peter Thiel?

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Peter Thiel.

• 4:02Duncan Trussell?

  Thiel.

• 4:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  That's his traditional family name.

• 4:05Kurt Metzger?

  Peter Thiel is yours, huh?

• 4:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, great dude. Why don't we just play?

• 4:09Speaker 02

  My first, my first threesome was with Peter Thiel, it was great.

• 4:12Duncan Trussell?

  That's incredible, I didn't know that. You never told me that.

• 4:14Kurt Metzger?

  What was the third something?

• 4:16Duncan Trussell?

  Who was it, the third?

• 4:17Speaker 02

  The third something.

• 4:18Duncan Trussell?

  Sam Alman?

• 4:18Kurt Metzger?

  So it was you, Peter Thiel.

• 4:20Duncan Trussell?

  And Sam Alman.

• 4:21Kurt Metzger?

  And?

• 4:22Speaker 02

  And Melania Trump.

• 4:24Duncan Trussell?

  What? Now that's, that is a, what?

• 4:28Speaker 02

  It was, uh, it was, uh, during Trump's second time running for president when he lost. And he was all angry, and then Melania was like, what about me, what about me, and so we.

• 4:37Duncan Trussell?

  Needed attention.

• 4:37Kurt Metzger?

  But wait a minute, hold on. What, he's gay, Peter Thiel?

• 4:41Speaker 02

  He's not gay, he, he's gay, we're all gay. He wasn't gay in that pussy, let me tell you that.

• 4:47Duncan Trussell?

  We're all gay dude.

• 4:49Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I've never heard, okay.

• 4:50Duncan Trussell?

  Again, like, you know, and I'm not trying to get classes here, but that kind of, that, that gay straight thing, that's a poor person idea.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're all just, we're all just beings.

• 5:01Duncan Trussell?

  We're just beings dude. So look, go ahead and play, play this music video, I think this, you just need to see how talented this man is. This is a music video he made, put on your.

• 5:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's what that Duncan dude, Tim Duncan said to me.

• 5:16Kurt Metzger?

  It's good production.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  It's a hit song.

• 5:26Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking cool.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Just, just let it seep into your mind, please.

• 5:36Kurt Metzger?

  Is that you?

• 5:45Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I like the different races.

• 5:51Kurt Metzger?

  What is this?

• 6:06Kurt Metzger?

  Who sent us leaders that we nailed on a tree?

• 6:11Kurt Metzger?

  Did you just try to blame me for Christ? I mean, I hate to tell you who did that, that one. In fact, don't look it up, it's not cool.

• 6:19Speaker 02

  Have you ever been to a listening party? Just listen.

• 6:22Kurt Metzger?

  I am, it's offensive so far.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  This is a banger.

• 6:25Kurt Metzger?

  And that's really offensive.

• 6:54Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I do like the song, it is catchy.

• 6:56Duncan Trussell?

  Great song.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Dude, just imagine being at a nightclub 2am, just.

• 7:12Duncan Trussell?

  Robots.

• 7:15Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, I think dreaming that I have to go to either, to like England or France, like every other, I mean, like, most of the time.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  You've been dreaming about England and France?

• 7:26Kurt Metzger?

  No, like I have to go there on a trip and I don't have my, I'm trying to find my fucking passport.

• 7:30Duncan Trussell?

  What do you think that means? You do dream interpretation, you're dreaming that you're, uh, you're wanting to fly out to Europe and you can't get there because you don't have a passport. How would you interpret that, Donnie?

• 7:40Speaker 02

  I think it means your time in this country is done.

• 7:43Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean my time?

• 7:45Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Cause he, he's one of these like loudmouth guys. Oh, I wanna, I wanna fucking talk shit about people. You're just like a, you're a shit talker, and I think America, we've had it with people like you.

• 7:58Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what? Don't you guys live in fucking the UK? And where's your accent too, by the way?

• 8:04Speaker 02

  I'm American.

• 8:05Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, well, okay, so then you're not related. Will you, that, that author, Mark, what's his name, Mark Rothschild, can we just hear him talk? I wanna compare his accent.

• 8:12Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, Mark Rothschild.

• 8:14Kurt Metzger?

  Is Rothschild's gay? Is that a real question?

• 8:17Duncan Trussell?

  Mark Rothschild.

• 8:18Speaker 02

  Again, the gay straight thing, it's.

• 8:21Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, no, who wrote that book?

• 8:22Duncan Trussell?

  It's a tell, right?

• 8:23Speaker 02

  We're all just, we're all just beings.

• 8:25Kurt Metzger?

  Alright, put, um, yeah, Mike Rothschild, uh, yeah, there we go.

• 8:33Kurt Metzger?

  Is that him?

• 8:34Speaker 03

  And disruptive. That's how we're describing this year's gateway tour, which is coming soon to a city near you.

• 8:39Kurt Metzger?

  I don't think that's it.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  I invite you to go ahead.

• 8:42Kurt Metzger?

  It's, um, Jewish space lasers in his name.

• 8:50Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's see.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  What's your, can I ask you?

• 8:52Kurt Metzger?

  There we go, Jewish journalist, journalist, like, go down one, go down one, see right there?

• 8:56Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 8:58Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 8:58Speaker 02

  What's your obsession with Jewish space lasers? Cause they exist, but like, why do you care?

• 9:03Kurt Metzger?

  Well, do you remember how that became a thing?

• 9:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:07Kurt Metzger?

  How?

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Our family was like, we need a little bit more protection. So we decided to create some.

• 9:14Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I meant, um, I meant as a, you know, a cultural item that people know about because Marjorie Taylor Greene said something about the Rothschilds having laser something.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:26Kurt Metzger?

  And, and then a journalist, Jonathan Haidt, said, uh, oh, she said she thinks Jewish space lasers, but I mean, like, first of all, there's space lasers, we know that. There's some, uh, innuendoity went into making them, I'm sure.

• 9:45Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry you did there.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  What do you, I missed.

• 9:48Duncan Trussell?

  Innuity.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 9:52Kurt Metzger?

  But like, um, listen, uh, secret Jewish basically, I don't think now with the whole Gaza thing is a good time for this bit, you know?

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Why do you, why do you listen to Marjorie Taylor Greene? She's like a, she's like a stinky bitch. She smells. I've been in a room with her. She's not a good woman.

• 10:10Duncan Trussell?

  You were in a room with Marjorie Taylor Greene? What for?

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Just, we were, we're trying to get a lot of these, uh, we're trying to build a lot of data centers here in Texas, across the country. And she's like very against it because she's an idiot and she doesn't know what's good for her.

• 10:24Kurt Metzger?

  She's not in, in office.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Well, she works for a board to try to, to try to, uh, get them rejected right now. So.

• 10:32Duncan Trussell?

  She's against data centers, huh?

• 10:34Speaker 02

  She's.

• 10:35Duncan Trussell?

  You know what? Before you took me to New York.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:37Duncan Trussell?

  I was really against data centers too. And after that trip, man, I gotta tell you, you set me straight. Like I, they're.

• 10:44Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I can't see your eye. If you have glasses, I realize.

• 10:47Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, oh, that's kind of on purpose.

• 10:49Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, why?

• 10:51Duncan Trussell?

  Cause I'm not proud of my black eye. When we're, go to New York with a Rothschild, takes me to what's gotta be the best musical I've ever seen in my life. I've seen Les Miserables 15 times.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  We went to Anne Frank.

• 11:02Kurt Metzger?

  Cause that's a very good one.

• 11:03Duncan Trussell?

  But he took me to one of the most mind shattering transformative musicals I've ever seen.

• 11:12Kurt Metzger?

  Book of Mormon?

• 11:12Duncan Trussell?

  It's called, nope. That's funny. I've seen that six times. It's called Slam Frank.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 11:18Duncan Trussell?

  Have you heard of this?

• 11:19Kurt Metzger?

  I thought that was a porno.

• 11:21Duncan Trussell?

  No, it might be.

• 11:23Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look at that. You wouldn't sleep.

• 11:27Kurt Metzger?

  Who's, because you know, her original diary had a lot more sex scenes in it.

• 11:32Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I, you know, I don't know. I've never seen it. I mean.

• 11:34Kurt Metzger?

  If you like Goonin', which I know you do.

• 11:36Duncan Trussell?

  You know what? I do, I do love Goonin'. But after Slam Frank, I feel like I know this person better than maybe anyone, especially people who haven't seen the musical. I mean, just show some Slam Frank clips. Wait till you see this.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Slam Frank, it is poetry. It is beautiful. It knocks Les Mis out of the water. William Shakespeare needs to get back to work. He hasn't written anything good like Slam Frank.

• 11:57Kurt Metzger?

  I think that he's like a real guy.

• 12:01Duncan Trussell?

  You might want some Kleenex.

• 12:15Kurt Metzger?

  Well, play it again. Yeah, play it again.

• 12:17Duncan Trussell?

  Damn, it's good.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  It's a good line.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  I think three things we all can like relate to.

• 12:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 12:27Kurt Metzger?

  It's, uh, mostly it's a hygiene thing. It sounds like.

• 12:33Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like it's just extra steps in your hygiene.

• 12:35Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, the, the point is, uh, I think I must've embarrassed myself. I, we, we were on the private plane, having a hoot, maybe had a couple too many, get to Slam Frank. It's incredible. And then things got a little fuzzy for me. Come to, I'm wearing this, uh, I don't know, milkman outfit.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  He's wearing a milkman outfit. We took, I took him out and just showed him a night in New York, like with a Rothschild.

• 12:59Kurt Metzger?

  Slam Frank.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:00Kurt Metzger?

  And then he, he woke up with a milkman outfit.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, because.

• 13:03Duncan Trussell?

  And his shiner, his shiner. I, I don't, do you remember what happened?

• 13:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I remember. So any, the parties I took them to, anytime you bring someone new, they kind of have to like prove themselves.

• 13:13Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  And.

• 13:14Duncan Trussell?

  I remember none of this.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. So let's just say Duncan milked some people.

• 13:20Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 13:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:22Duncan Trussell?

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• 14:06Duncan Trussell?

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• 14:50Duncan Trussell?

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• 15:30Duncan Trussell?

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• 16:14Duncan Trussell?

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• 16:32Kurt Metzger?

  He what?

• 16:33Speaker 02

  No, he just meant like, I can't get too much into it. No, he like, there were guys that had milk in them and they needed.

• 16:39Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 16:40Kurt Metzger?

  What the fuck?

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:43Kurt Metzger?

  Now, listen, let me ask you this. I always thought this was like a weird ass looking.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  What's weird about that?

• 16:49Kurt Metzger?

  It's just the lighting for starters.

• 16:51Duncan Trussell?

  Probably the candles are like, seem to be like out of place.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  That's a, that's a normal Wednesday lunch for my family.

• 16:57Kurt Metzger?

  Where you're like, oh, I want to have extra antler shadow.

• 16:59Duncan Trussell?

  Why are you eating records?

• 17:02Kurt Metzger?

  And also you're eating records?

• 17:04Speaker 02

  We're, we're, it's, uh, so we use them as, uh, dishes.

• 17:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, did this chick?

• 17:09Speaker 02

  It's like, uh, it's like artists that like talk shit about like the elite. We use them as dishes. We want them to destroy their music.

• 17:15Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God. Well, you're very likeable. I'll tell you that.

• 17:18Duncan Trussell?

  No, you'll get.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm like, oh yeah, you're a peach to deal with.

• 17:21Kurt Metzger?

  I wasn't being sarcastic. I was saying.

• 17:22Duncan Trussell?

  Can we not fight the whole?

• 17:23Speaker 02

  It's, it's, his energy's off.

• 17:25Kurt Metzger?

  Kind of defensive.

• 17:26Duncan Trussell?

  This is the worst. Like when you introduce a friend to a friend and they don't get along right away.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  This is crazy. Cause like, I love you Duncan. I'm the godfather of your kids. I like three out of the, I, yeah, like three out of the four, I like a lot. One of them.

• 17:37Kurt Metzger?

  Backed up by a space laser.

• 17:40Kurt Metzger?

  Your kids got massive space backup.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  His kids are angels.

• 17:43Duncan Trussell?

  They are angels.

• 17:44Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I've never met them. I have never been.

• 17:47Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I would.

• 17:47Kurt Metzger?

  I haven't been to your house.

• 17:49Duncan Trussell?

  I would love for you to be at my house.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  And if something happens to Duncan, his beautiful wife, they'll finally get to see a real, the world that was meant for.

• 17:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That, this is gonna be the Papa. And that's such a sweet thing that you agree.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  They call me Papa. When he's not around, they, I tell Duncan's kids, I'm.

• 18:08Duncan Trussell?

  When I'm on the road, he'll come out and just like help my wife with the kids.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Papa's home.

• 18:13Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, a real tryhard, this Rothschild kid.

• 18:17Duncan Trussell?

  He's a friend.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  What are you?

• 18:19Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. I mean, I know you, you don't have to get.

• 18:22Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Well, let's not make this an awkward fucking episode. All right?

• 18:26Kurt Metzger?

  It's a little awkward. I mean, I, I don't, uh.

• 18:28Duncan Trussell?

  Let's do an actual.

• 18:29Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what time is it? Because we might have homunculus time.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  What's homunculus time?

• 18:38Kurt Metzger?

  Oh no, it's not homunculus time yet.

• 18:41Kurt Metzger?

  The foremost, uh, libra vake expert. There's only one in my NFL assistant.

• 18:46Duncan Trussell?

  You know what a homunculus is?

• 18:47Speaker 02

  I have no idea.

• 18:48Duncan Trussell?

  Can you tell him what a homunculus is?

• 18:49Kurt Metzger?

  I bet he doesn't.

• 18:51Kurt Metzger?

  It's a, you know, I'm, it's not really clearer now than when we started. I know the libra vake is how to make like Pokemon out of jizz and animals.

• 19:00Duncan Trussell?

  It's a little creature that you create. It's a, it's a, it's like, kind of like a mini Gollum. A homunculus is, is in, you know what I mean?

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Friday night arts and crafts.

• 19:08Duncan Trussell?

  Come on, you guys don't make little people?

• 19:10Speaker 02

  You're right, we don't.

• 19:12Duncan Trussell?

  Shut up. I mean, it's mythological, but basically this is the idea you mix the right shit together. You don't have to impregnate a woman. You can like brew up a little guy. You know?

• 19:23Kurt Metzger?

  You ever make a little guy?

• 19:25Duncan Trussell?

  You ever make a little guy?

• 19:26Speaker 02

  I've made a couple.

• 19:28Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, look at that. It's, hey, it's a little guy.

• 19:31Duncan Trussell?

  See?

• 19:31Speaker 02

  That's little Henry.

• 19:32Duncan Trussell?

  Little cutie.

• 19:33Kurt Metzger?

  Little size noodles.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  See, that's, that actually might be the one I made. He has the same body as me.

• 19:38Duncan Trussell?

  Come on, this is hilarious.

• 19:39Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, I think, I think that, that knows a little asymptotic frankly.

• 19:44Duncan Trussell?

  It's like a hot dog.

• 19:47Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, come on. You don't, you're not offended by that?

• 19:49Speaker 02

  No, that's a cute little guy.

• 19:50Duncan Trussell?

  Cute little guy.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  His name's like Stevie or Frankie.

• 19:53Duncan Trussell?

  I think that's a she.

• 19:54Kurt Metzger?

  Um, well, I'll tell you one method.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  Do the thing, what's the thing?

• 19:58Kurt Metzger?

  What do you think of this method?

• 19:59Speaker 02

  It doesn't matter.

• 19:59Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry, man, I keep forgetting that.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  It's a thing. We're all just things.

• 20:03Duncan Trussell?

  Habit, you know?

• 20:04Kurt Metzger?

  Are you guys aware of this new trend, speaking of homunculus? Uh, Dollar Tree gooning?

• 20:10Speaker 02

  What?

• 20:11Duncan Trussell?

  Oh yeah, I've heard of it.

• 20:12Kurt Metzger?

  Let's go to the story. You haven't heard of this because you live in a ivory tower, but.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, that place does not look nice.

• 20:19Kurt Metzger?

  Now, I don't know, and I, I say if the police call and want to bust his whereabouts and where he was at certain times, I feel a hundred percent we will be cooperating with them.

• 20:27Duncan Trussell?

  The disturbing rise of gooner assaults at Dollar Tree stores. They find it funny to degrade women.

• 20:32Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 20:35Kurt Metzger?

  In the dark corners of the internet, men are goading each other to masturbate in public and on female shoppers and post the footage.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  So, question, you wonder why my family and people at my elite class want to like surveillance you guys? Cause like shit like this.

• 20:52Kurt Metzger?

  You can be, you can jerk off without having to be there yourself?

• 20:55Duncan Trussell?

  Well, wait, let him finish because I think this is an important point.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Look at the shit.

• 20:58Kurt Metzger?

  You're listening to Donny Rothschild's lecture on just shit. Are you joking?

• 21:02Duncan Trussell?

  He's been explaining shit to me in a way that I've never heard it before.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Hey, guess what? Guess what we don't do in my family? We don't go to a, A, a store that sells shit for a dollar. Um, I, I've never bought anything less than a hundred and fifty dollars.

• 21:13Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I bet you guys buy kids for a dollar. Fucking scumbag.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  You, what the fuck is your deal, dude?

• 21:18Kurt Metzger?

  Fuck you, Jim.

• 21:27Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, um, the disturbing rise, let's check Reddit, don't know.

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Also, what's the ri, how many people are like, are doing this?

• 21:34Kurt Metzger?

  Apparently you have face tattoos, but you're too good to jerk off at a dollar store?

• 21:37Speaker 02

  I hung out with Jelly Roll in Nashville. I'm working on a country album. Oh, sorry.

• 21:42Kurt Metzger?

  I know Jelly ain't too good.

• 21:44Duncan Trussell?

  But yeah, why is it just at dollar stores?

• 21:46Kurt Metzger?

  He's got that new body from, uh, losing all that weight. He's down to J O and.

• 21:51Duncan Trussell?

  What, hey, why are they jerking off just at dollar stores?

• 21:53Speaker 02

  I just think if you.

• 21:54Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, because no one's, because no one's gonna, I mean, that call, that's like a, a pretty.

• 22:00Duncan Trussell?

  There's other cheap stores.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Duncan, have you ever been in a dollar store? What's it like? Can you explain this concept?

• 22:05Duncan Trussell?

  You know, it's good discounts.

• 22:06Kurt Metzger?

  Why don't we just calm the bit down and get to the thing real quick?

• 22:12Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's find out what it is. Okay, wait, can you, is this it? Wait, but I don't see the top part. Okay, so wait, are you gonna read this or am I gonna read this?

• 22:23Duncan Trussell?

  I'll read it.

• 22:24Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, go ahead.

• 22:26Duncan Trussell?

  The disturbing rise of gooner assaults at Dollar Tree stores. They find it funny to degrade women.

• 22:32Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's a really sultry way you read that.

• 22:36Kurt Metzger?

  That was pretty hot.

• 22:36Duncan Trussell?

  In dark corners of the internet, men are goading each other to masturbate in public and on female shoppers.

• 22:43Kurt Metzger?

  Your voice is really disturbing now.

• 22:45Duncan Trussell?

  And post the footage.

• 22:46Kurt Metzger?

  I don't like you not.

• 22:48Duncan Trussell?

  The woman, the women known in court papers as M R, never much liked going to dollar.

• 22:54Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I never much liked going to the dollar store.

• 22:56Duncan Trussell?

  She found them cluttered and chaotic with too few staff on duty and two minutes strange people roaming the aisles.

• 23:02Kurt Metzger?

  It sounds like a narration of Slam Frank.

• 23:05Duncan Trussell?

  I know, that's what I'm trying to do. That's what I'm trying to do. But in early December twenty twenty-three, she went away because she was planning a promotional photo shoot for a doggy daycare business.

• 23:15Kurt Metzger?

  If you know what I mean.

• 23:17Duncan Trussell?

  In Houston and wanted some cheap Christmas props, reindeer ears and Santa hats to put on her dogs. She and a friend picked, she and a friend picked one of the.

• 23:27Kurt Metzger?

  Can you blame a guy for gooning while he was having to observe this?

• 23:30Duncan Trussell?

  She and a friend picked one of the few Dollar Trees in an affluent neighborhood, robbed early.

• 23:36Kurt Metzger?

  Figuring there would be in and out quick. Dear penthouse, I can't believe this happened to me. I thought it'd be.

• 23:44Duncan Trussell?

  I was shopping at a dollar store.

• 23:46Kurt Metzger?

  I just wanted to get some reindeer ears.

• 23:48Duncan Trussell?

  For my dog care business. Next thing I know, I have jizz on my face.

• 23:53Kurt Metzger?

  Oh yeah, I thought it'd be in and out quickly enough.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  Also, would it be worse if you got, if you got gooned on?

• 23:59Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. As she walked the aisles, M R said in an interview.

• 24:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, I don't see where we are here.

• 24:05Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Mary, uh, M R, that's like Mary Rothschild or something, probably.

• 24:09Duncan Trussell?

  As she walked.

• 24:10Kurt Metzger?

  She sensed a man standing close behind her. She turned to confront him and noticed he was a good six inches taller than her. What, okay?

• 24:16Duncan Trussell?

  He was talking in graphic detail about sexual things.

• 24:20Kurt Metzger?

  What kind of things do they say?

• 24:21Duncan Trussell?

  We could make it up.

• 24:22Kurt Metzger?

  You're so disgusting, get away. What did he go? I want to jerk off on you at a Dollar Tree?

• 24:26Speaker 02

  To, to be at a Dollar Tree and get turned on, that's a bad guy.

• 24:29Kurt Metzger?

  You're so disgusting, get away from me, she told him and hurried off to her friend. Still, he stayed close. You know, yeah. That's called, uh, that's the, I went to Andrew Tate University. That's how you.

• 24:39Duncan Trussell?

  He teaches you that. He teaches you how to stay close at a dollar store.

• 24:41Kurt Metzger?

  Did you ever take that, the Tate brother course on how to pick up chicks at the dollar store?

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Also, I just realized the description of this guy is kind of you, Kurt.

• 24:47Kurt Metzger?

  Maybe. Oh, oh, a poor person.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  You don't like rumors about you?

• 24:51Kurt Metzger?

  You do know about the poor person's store. That's, that's interesting.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  I'm just reading. I'm just doing what you do. I read a little quote and now.

• 24:58Kurt Metzger?

  Six inches taller than a lot of chicks, dude. That doesn't prove nothing.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  I think you're the guy.

• 25:02Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, well, I.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  You, you're wearing a robe, easy access?

• 25:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, well, I've never been, uh, convicted of anything, nor have I ever been spotted doing anything like that.

• 25:12Duncan Trussell?

  When was the last time you?

• 25:12Kurt Metzger?

  In a, in a northern Dollar Tree.

• 25:14Duncan Trussell?

  When was the last time you went to?

• 25:14Kurt Metzger?

  In a New York Dollar Tree that's ever happened.

• 25:16Duncan Trussell?

  But when Texas.

• 25:17Kurt Metzger?

  And I can swear to it. In New York, you can check those records. I've never once done anything like that in the state of New York and that is on, that's on the books.

• 25:25Duncan Trussell?

  Good job, but what about Texas?

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Or Connecticut.

• 25:28Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's, uh, move on with this. So, uh, uh.

• 25:33Kurt Metzger?

  Where was I? Still, still, this is the best part.

• 25:39Duncan Trussell?

  But he stayed close and for a few tense minutes, the two of them locked eyes while she waited in line to pay. When at last he left, she thought that was the end of it until back outside in the chill, the winter morning, she felt some cold against the back of her leg. The man had ejaculated on her.

• 25:58Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, it came out cold?

• 26:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I, yeah, I mean.

• 26:02Kurt Metzger?

  Or it cools pretty quick.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  No, I think she was cold because she realized I'm about to get combed on.

• 26:06Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, no, no, no, no.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  It was like a flat, like a.

• 26:09Duncan Trussell?

  Body temperature drop?

• 26:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like shock. I think like, you know.

• 26:12Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, in the chill winter of the morning. No, I, I, look, you see, okay.

• 26:16Duncan Trussell?

  Semen at, at the time of ejaculation is close to normal internal body temperature, around ninety-eight degrees because it is a fluid and quickly loses.

• 26:24Kurt Metzger?

  She didn't know she got jizzed on until.

• 26:26Duncan Trussell?

  And it chilled the jizz.

• 26:27Kurt Metzger?

  She was at her car. So, she didn't notice it at first?

• 26:32Duncan Trussell?

  It got cold.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  It got cold, yeah.

• 26:33Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know how to react at M R, who was forty-seven? Those guys into MILFs, huh? Into Dollar Store MILFs? That's my old website.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Jerking off at Dollar, at the Dollar Tree.

• 26:43Kurt Metzger?

  Guys, don't search my internet history because it says Dollar Store MILFs on it.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  I just think if you're jerking off at the Dollar Tree, you don't really have a, a choice. You just, you just pick what you can get, you know?

• 26:52Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 26:53Kurt Metzger?

  It sounded like he recruited her to make a porno, like a webcam. Hey, do you remember this guy named Ugly George in New York that would, uh, Channel J when he would go around and ask chicks to strip? And they would?

• 27:04Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 27:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, there's a thing in New York called Channel J, which is like public access TV.

• 27:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 27:08Kurt Metzger?

  It just had like public access porno on it, like the whole nineties. And there's a guy, it's called Ugly George Satellite, and this guy named Ugly George would ask chicks to off the street if they want to strip for his show.

• 27:20Duncan Trussell?

  That was the show?

• 27:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 27:22Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 27:22Kurt Metzger?

  Robin Bird, remember the Robin Bird Show? Have you heard of that?

• 27:25Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, wait, this is kind of like prior around the time of Good Girls Gone Wild.

• 27:28Kurt Metzger?

  Wait a minute.

• 27:29Duncan Trussell?

  MILFs season of the Dollar Tree.

• 27:33Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait a minute. I think we're stumbling onto a mystery.

• 27:36Duncan Trussell?

  Here we go. Now, this is some good Suno, uh, good use of Suno. Hey now, let's take a minute to talk about a mystery you might be experiencing in your own body. A lot of us, especially men, are walking around with a handful of symptoms and no clue what's at play under the surface. From feeling tired all day, but unable to sleep at night. Feeling more irritable, but less motivated. Everyone treats these symptoms like separate issues, but they're not. They're all a consequence of cortisol. Modern life can keep cortisol levels spiked 24/7. And when that's the case, your body makes less testosterone. To put it plainly, you become a bitch.

• 28:21Duncan Trussell?

  That's why Mars Men is here to support testosterone while managing cortisol. Without the weird stimulants and synthetic hormones. It's time to level out your mood, steady your energy and have better sleep and recovery with Mars Men. If I wasn't steeped in testosterone, look at this beard, just got it checked. Broke the gauge, made the gauge grow hair. You better believe I'd be slurping back Mars Men every moment that I could without overdosing. And you should do that too. For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off for life, plus free shipping and three free gifts at mengotomars.com.

• 29:06Duncan Trussell?

  That's mengotomars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please, please, please, I beg of you, support our show and tell them Mystery Boys sent you.

• 29:25Speaker 04

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman, Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC.com, not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  This was made by DJ Diddles and the Skull Patrol.

• 29:58Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I know DJ Diddles, he's a good guy. Let's hear it.

• 30:01Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know a lot of Suno DJs?

• 30:04Speaker 02

  He was the DJ at Epstein's Island.

• 30:06Speaker 05

  You can keep your fancy malls. Real beauty walks slow in pajama pants, y'all. It's 10:43 on a Tuesday morning. The kids are screaming, she looks battle worn. Messy bun high with a can of Faygo, pushing that cart like she's ready to tango. Cheetah print leggings and a blessed tank top, neck tattoo peeking when she makes that stop. Grabbing knockoff Oreos and neon socks while her iPhone blasting TikTok bops. It's milk season at the Dollar Tree. Them hot mamas shopping wild and free. One kid crying, two in the cart, still rocking that sass with a Walmart heart. Milk season, don't blink or miss, she just bought flip flops and blowing a kiss.

• 30:51Speaker 05

  She's armed with coupons and attitude and she's looking like a snack in all brand food.

• 30:57Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, I gotta ask you a question, pause it. Do you know what a coupon is? I'm really curious about that.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Isn't, uh, I've heard of the concept. It's like-

• 31:06Kurt Metzger?

  Is that like a family you know from fancy school?

• 31:08Speaker 02

  It's like, so if like, if like, if like, poor people get hungry, they can like, buy food a little cheaper?

• 31:13Duncan Trussell?

  That's crazy. I mean, that is to me, something weird. I'm not trying to offend you. You've done a lot of things for my family and I really appreciate all that you've taught me. But don't you feel like maybe you're a little disconnected?

• 31:23Kurt Metzger?

  Dude.

• 31:24Duncan Trussell?

  What? Oh, fuck.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  That was the night, remember?

• 31:27Duncan Trussell?

  I don't remember that.

• 31:28Kurt Metzger?

  I noticed that before.

• 31:29Duncan Trussell?

  I don't, did I have a black eye there?

• 31:31Kurt Metzger?

  This is pretty so-

• 31:32Speaker 02

  Let's see if the black eye, can we zoom into the picture a little bit?

• 31:35Duncan Trussell?

  I don't remember this at all.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, that was how fucked up, you were getting there. Yeah, the black eye was about to, about to happen. You went up-

• 31:42Duncan Trussell?

  How did it happen?

• 31:43Speaker 02

  You were, you were milking, you-

• 31:45Kurt Metzger?

  So they were like, you could just swear?

• 31:47Speaker 02

  You got a little excited and then someone, yeah, got a little-

• 31:51Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 31:52Speaker 02

  You milked, yeah.

• 31:54Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, wow, we wow.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  Look how happy those guys are that you arrived.

• 31:58Duncan Trussell?

  I seem, I don't know, it doesn't, I don't seem like I'm like-

• 32:01Speaker 02

  That's my cousin Johnny and he goes, ooh, the milk-

• 32:04Kurt Metzger?

  Johnny Rothschild.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, Johnny Rothschild.

• 32:05Duncan Trussell?

  I don't, Johnny and Johnny?

• 32:07Kurt Metzger?

  Who's this broad? Who's the redhead?

• 32:09Speaker 02

  That's my niece and also my ex-girlfriend.

• 32:12Duncan Trussell?

  I don't remember any of these people, what?

• 32:15Kurt Metzger?

  Who's this?

• 32:16Duncan Trussell?

  You've dated-

• 32:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, who's this hard looking milkman in the back?

• 32:19Speaker 02

  You've, you've never dated a family member?

• 32:22Duncan Trussell?

  I-

• 32:23Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 32:24Speaker 02

  You never wanted to just keep your-

• 32:25Kurt Metzger?

  My family's not that hot, dude. You have to rub in that you got like-

• 32:28Speaker 02

  No, we just wanted like-

• 32:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, why are you bragging about pretty your family is?

• 32:31Kurt Metzger?

  Some of us don't have hot families.

• 32:33Duncan Trussell?

  Some people don't have fuckable cousins.

• 32:34Kurt Metzger?

  Someone's gotta go down to the dollar store and see what you can see.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  But you guys don't wanna keep your like, family blood clean?

• 32:38Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 32:39Kurt Metzger?

  What? I mean, you mean like a dialysis machine? We can't afford that.

• 32:43Duncan Trussell?

  I can't afford dialysis.

• 32:44Kurt Metzger?

  That's healthcare.

• 32:45Duncan Trussell?

  It's health insurance.

• 32:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, come on.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  What's healthcare?

• 32:48Kurt Metzger?

  It's like the med bed that you have that-

• 32:50Duncan Trussell?

  Honestly, it's like talking to an alien or something. You don't know what healthcare is?

• 32:54Speaker 02

  What, like-

• 32:54Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so you know when you and your family shed your skin and grow new skin automatically?

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:59Kurt Metzger?

  Well, okay. We-

• 33:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, you, yeah, I do.

• 33:03Kurt Metzger?

  We can't afford that.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 33:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 33:09Kurt Metzger?

  You know when you lay a new family member from every, like in the movie Enemy Mine with, uh, Louis Gossett Jr.?

• 33:16Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 33:17Kurt Metzger?

  Kurt Russell was it? Or Dennis Quaid? Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr.

• 33:21Duncan Trussell?

  You know, you know how it's like, sometimes when you don't feel good, you have to lay like on a hot rock?

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 33:27Duncan Trussell?

  Some people, they don't, could only have access to that kind of stuff for their family.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, that's sad. So healthcare is a thing that you need to go see a doctor?

• 33:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, cuz it's expensive to go to a doctor a lot of the times.

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Like how, like how expensive, like, what's expensive?

• 33:42Duncan Trussell?

  It could be hundreds of thousands of dollars. It just depends. The ambulance ride can be like 13, 30,000K. These, all this costs money and then people don't have that.

• 33:51Kurt Metzger?

  You're better off being like, I don't have any insurance and they're just paying the much smaller rates. It's actually like having insurance, not having insurance now.

• 33:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  So people don't have like 30-

• 34:01Kurt Metzger?

  You might have a $40,000 copay, but if you show up and you're like, I don't know, I don't have anything. They'll give you like a bill for 1,200 bucks.

• 34:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  1,200 bucks, that's not, what are you talking about?

• 34:11Duncan Trussell?

  And a lot of doctors just don't accept it anymore.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you said a lot of money, 1,200 bucks.

• 34:17Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, that's if you don't have insurance. It's cheaper than if you do.

• 34:20Duncan Trussell?

  1,200 bucks is a lot of money for some people.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Really?

• 34:22Duncan Trussell?

  Are you joking? You're joking. 1,200 bucks for some people is like very, it's like, that, that could be like-

• 34:28Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know how you wouldn't.

• 34:29Duncan Trussell?

  That's a weak wage.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  But are we talking, are we talking like a small percentage of the country? Or like most, like, cuz 1,200 bucks, that's like-

• 34:37Kurt Metzger?

  Where are you from?

• 34:38Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up the average median income of people in America? Just to, this is, this is gonna be a kind of a red pill for you, Donnie.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Like, that is sad if it's 1,200 is a lot of money for a lot of-

• 34:50Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look, I didn't believe you. You know what?

• 34:51Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, look, there you are, family photo.

• 34:53Kurt Metzger?

  I apologize, man, cuz I thought this was some cheap bit, but now I see that I was-

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Look how cool the, like, that was a fun day.

• 34:59Kurt Metzger?

  I thought you guys were pranking me. I'm sorry, dude.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  We were, um, we were, we were recreating the most dangerous game that day. We found-

• 35:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, they do that, these people, yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  And my, my Aunt Teresa, the girl in the front, she won that day.

• 35:10Kurt Metzger?

  Teresa Rothschild?

• 35:11Speaker 02

  She backed six people that day.

• 35:12Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 35:13Speaker 02

  Ninja Stars too, she's good.

• 35:15Duncan Trussell?

  What is this, like paintball?

• 35:16Speaker 02

  No, Ninja Stars.

• 35:18Duncan Trussell?

  But like foam?

• 35:19Speaker 02

  No, no, no, like real-

• 35:20Kurt Metzger?

  So you're a good deal taller than most of the family?

• 35:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're short.

• 35:25Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't realize the Rothschilds are that small.

• 35:27Kurt Metzger?

  They're like a little homunculi.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're small people.

• 35:30Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, they look sweet, your family looks great. I'd love to meet them one day.

• 35:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, when they bred me, when they bred me, they said, let's just, let's try to make a tall one.

• 35:38Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 35:39Kurt Metzger?

  Are you, so you weren't bred as just a vessel for one of their wandering souls to be, uh, necromanced into?

• 35:45Speaker 02

  So the thing is, in our lineage-

• 35:46Kurt Metzger?

  Is that the reason for that to make your blood more receptive to the, uh, discarnate, uh, consciousness of your lizard elders?

• 35:54Speaker 02

  And I'm, I'm not supposed to say this, but I, I'm starting to like this guy.

• 35:58Duncan Trussell?

  He's great, I told you, he's awesome.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  But, uh, so you know how I said, we like, how I hooked up with my cousin?

• 36:05Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  So we realized, um, the more and more you hook up with a family member, it's, some fucked up shit happens. So a lot of our, uh, babies were coming out deformed, just real, just dirt.

• 36:18Kurt Metzger?

  Like no, no tails?

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Real, they were coming out looking like her. It was like bad, like-

• 36:22Kurt Metzger?

  They had full white, beautiful dreadlocks?

• 36:24Speaker 02

  Missing scales, so they just started, we just started producing like, people, homunculi, as I guess you call it.

• 36:31Duncan Trussell?

  You just didn't know the term.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  I just didn't know, I just called it, we just called it making a new family. Making a new family member.

• 36:37Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, homunculi is a weird way to, is a weird name.

• 36:41Kurt Metzger?

  You remind me of, you ever go to an Italian butcher shop and then, it just seemed a little devious. They had a, a ground pork, but it was ground pork, but it was in a mold of a pig body in a plastic, so it was shaped like a-

• 36:54Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, that is so fucked up.

• 36:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I was like, this seems like a bit much, like-

• 36:59Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up-

• 37:00Kurt Metzger?

  It was, it was a pretty harsh show that it-

• 37:03Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever seen a meat clown? Look up a meat clown, check this out. It's in the spirit of that meat clown.

• 37:12Kurt Metzger?

  What the fuck is that?

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Oh, we used to-

• 37:14Duncan Trussell?

  It's like a way to like, you process meat so it's got a little clown face in it.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  They're crazy.

• 37:20Kurt Metzger?

  Is this real?

• 37:20Duncan Trussell?

  That's real, that's a meat clown.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  I'm gonna break-

• 37:23Kurt Metzger?

  Where do you get?

• 37:25Speaker 02

  My mom used to buy me that German, it was crazy.

• 37:28Duncan Trussell?

  Your mom used to buy you meat clowns?

• 37:30Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, hold on.

• 37:32Duncan Trussell?

  You cut the slot, you cut like strips and you get little clown faces in your sandwich.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  I think it gets, it gets you, it gets you used to, it gets you used to cannibalism. You're just, oh, look, let me just buy you this nice friendly face.

• 37:45Duncan Trussell?

  It's a happy clown.

• 37:45Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, we gotta go.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  You wouldn't, I, meat clown, no.

• 37:50Kurt Metzger?

  Am I in another universe right now?

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Can you pull up the picture of the meat clown again? Pull up the meat clown picture.

• 37:54Duncan Trussell?

  That's our album.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  That's nice.

• 37:57Duncan Trussell?

  Carpet Doug and the milkman, I'm on the stacks. I am blowing that one.

• 38:03Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, okay, we gotta- Meat clown?

• 38:09Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I, yeah. I'm shocked you've never seen a meat clown.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  No, pull up a picture of the meat clown again, I wanna-

• 38:15Duncan Trussell?

  This is a, this is a Yankee.

• 38:19Kurt Metzger?

  Where do you buy this?

• 38:21Speaker 02

  What?

• 38:22Kurt Metzger?

  I've never seen it.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  The butcher shop.

• 38:24Duncan Trussell?

  You can meet clowns anywhere.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  So that's what happens when-

• 38:27Kurt Metzger?

  You guys have all heard of meat, meat clown?

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:30Duncan Trussell?

  Everybody knows about meat clown.

• 38:31Kurt Metzger?

  Is that true? I feel like I'm being really-

• 38:32Duncan Trussell?

  You've never had a meat clown sandwich?

• 38:34Speaker 02

  You take a bite in it and then you start giggling, it's fun.

• 38:37Duncan Trussell?

  It is fun, it's just the face is cool.

• 38:39Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Billy, wait, it's called Billy Roll?

• 38:41Duncan Trussell?

  A real world European deli cold cut.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  There's something nice about when you eat a face to watch it disappear. It makes you feel strong.

• 38:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's a meat clown.

• 38:51Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God, I can't believe this is real. This is worse than a tango egg.

• 38:55Duncan Trussell?

  First time I've done this to you. You do this to me every episode, it feels good.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  You wanna know what we, my family calls meat clowns?

• 39:02Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Most of the human race.

• 39:06Duncan Trussell?

  I'm telling you, man, you gotta do standup.

• 39:08Speaker 02

  Oh, that joke kills in my, in my rooms.

• 39:10Duncan Trussell?

  I'm telling you, you gotta, gotta, gotta go to the mothership.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Why didn't Kurt laugh at that?

• 39:14Kurt Metzger?

  Because we gotta call the foremost homunculus expert right now.

• 39:18Duncan Trussell?

  That's great, let's do it.

• 39:19Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, you guys got the number?

• 39:24Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 39:25Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so, uh, wait.

• 39:28Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, look at that little heart in it.

• 39:30Kurt Metzger?

  This is Juan Ayala, Ayala, Juan Ayala, I believe is his name. Okay, called Juan Ayala. So do you know what the Libra Vacay is?

• 39:40Duncan Trussell?

  Nope.

• 39:41Kurt Metzger?

  It's like this.

• 39:44Kurt Metzger?

  It's like the best book.

• 39:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah?

• 39:47Kurt Metzger?

  It's about how you can make a homunculus from fucking a cow and you need a sunstone to make sure. My mother watches this show. I don't want to get too far into it.

• 39:55Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 39:57Kurt Metzger?

  She's gonna know I've been making meat clowns. Hey. Hello?

• 40:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, speaking.

• 40:03Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, hey, this is Kurt. Uh, Kurt and Duncan.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  How you doing?

• 40:07Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, how you doing?

• 40:08Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, and also Donnie. Uh, uh, okay, so Mark, my, my, uh, podcast, Nephilim assistant on my other podcast. We, because we talked about the Libra Vacay on this show.

• 40:18Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 40:19Kurt Metzger?

  And then Mark tells me he knows the world's foremost expert on homunculi, I guess. Or, or just this book or about homunculus making in general? One?

• 40:31Speaker 06

  Yeah, so I, I am the only homunculologist in existence in the world. It's not my proudest fat, but I mean, it's a little bit strange. I've written extensively about it. I researched it. I did, so.

• 40:45Kurt Metzger?

  That's really funny, dude. Yeah, I know you must know what you shit because that is exactly what I, I would say too. Fuck you, everything about, I go, look, it's not my proudest thing.

• 40:58Kurt Metzger?

  Um, so what have you?

• 40:59Speaker 06

  To give you a, a, a depth on how far this, this subject goes, I did, I don't know if you guys know the Mind Unveiled, uh, YouTube, uh, channel.

• 41:08Kurt Metzger?

  I do know that channel.

• 41:09Speaker 06

  Ten hour. We did a ten hour documentary on homunculus and I helped him with the research and everything and it took six months to complete. So again, this subject goes pretty deep down the rabbit hole.

• 41:20Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, it's nuts.

• 41:21Speaker 06

  How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?

• 41:22Duncan Trussell?

  Well, let's start. Here's something you could really clear up for me because I always wondered. Homunculus singular, right? But plural homunculus would be homunculi?

• 41:33Speaker 06

  Yes, correct.

• 41:34Duncan Trussell?

  So if there's a group of, um, homunculus, you'd say there, there's some homunculi.

• 41:40Duncan Trussell?

  You would say homunculuses.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  I, I think it's homunculus.

• 41:43Speaker 06

  No, no, homunculus.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:45Duncan Trussell?

  Got it.

• 41:46Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, okay, so, and I also am not clear on, is this, um, because I've heard it described as a mind control thing where there's, they map out a little man on your, you know, your body parts are mapped out and your brain not in order, kind of like out of order. And then if I'm mind controlling you, I would, I would compartmentalize you and have a little man on top of your head that I'd tell you is there.

• 42:08Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 42:08Kurt Metzger?

  So, but.

• 42:09Duncan Trussell?

  But not a literal physical thing.

• 42:10Kurt Metzger?

  I don't, I think this is not either or shit because I know people have tried to make things.

• 42:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what, what is, do you, is, is he right? Is that what this is about? I always thought it was sort of.

• 42:19Kurt Metzger?

  Or is it a physical thing where you got to jizz it up?

• 42:21Duncan Trussell?

  Guy.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Oh, that looks cool.

• 42:24Speaker 06

  So there, there's two ways you can look at it, right? And this involves alchemy. And you got to understand there's two sides to everything. There's the metaphysical and the physical.

• 42:33Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 42:33Speaker 06

  And the issue with alchemy is it, it was meant to be for the initiated. So it was meant, these texts were meant to be in all these pictures and everything you see. Was meant to be for practitioners who were in essentially the secret society. The issue with that is that there is a Florida man somewhere trying to jerk off into a jar and create this thing.

• 42:53Duncan Trussell?

  More than one.

• 42:54Speaker 06

  Reading it in these books.

• 42:55Kurt Metzger?

  At the Dollar Tree.

• 42:56Speaker 06

  Hundred percent.

• 42:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, at any given moment.

• 42:59Speaker 06

  Yeah. So, uh, it starts off with the homunculus. There is the cortical homunculus, which is essentially a neuro map of the brain and how, uh, how much of your body is used by certain parts of your brain. So homunculus is an actual medical term.

• 43:17Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, interesting.

• 43:18Speaker 06

  Sixteenth century, yeah, the sixteenth century homunculus, which was created by Felipus Ariolus, Theophrasus Bon Bassus von Hohenheim, or AKA Pericelsus. That's the one that people kind of know.

• 43:31Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 43:32Speaker 06

  Uh, which is the alchemical creation of a biological life form through the use of alchemy. So it's a bit of, uh, practicalness and then some sort of metaphysical stuff in there, which we can get into all of that. Wherever you guys want to go.

• 43:46Kurt Metzger?

  So, yeah, who, has somebody has actually made one of these things and the, I mean, the Libra Vacay was pretty gross. We only had those few. I got it from, uh, Greg from Higher Side Chats. Shout out to, uh, Higher Side Chats.

• 43:58Duncan Trussell?

  What's up, Higher Side Chats?

• 43:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, uh, but.

• 44:00Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 44:01Kurt Metzger?

  It was very, it was very gross, uh, what I read. I mean, I was just like, and I guess, uh, what, what school has, has the only copy? Um, not Oxford, Cambridge has the only copy of it. They don't let anybody see it with, for good reason. I'm going to be on their side.

• 44:15Duncan Trussell?

  They don't want people making little guys.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  So can I ask you a quick question?

• 44:18Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  So you're saying some guy comes in a, in a little tube or whatever, and then how does the little guy get made?

• 44:28Speaker 06

  So this is where it gets a little fuzzy. So according to Pericelsus, and mind you, this is the sixteenth century. So it's rooted in Aristotelian biology and pre-formationism, which they, they believe that essentially in a sperm, there was a little, a miniature version of us.

• 44:45Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 44:46Speaker 06

  And they believe that, again, according to Aristotelian biology, not what I believe. They believe that the man was the one that actually created all the physical parts of, of the baby, essentially.

• 44:57Kurt Metzger?

  So Aristotle, yeah.

• 44:58Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 44:59Kurt Metzger?

  Boy, he's so, they're so gay. Why? It's always so goddamn gay. They're like, if only we could get pussy out of the equation.

• 45:06Duncan Trussell?

  So gay.

• 45:07Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 45:08Duncan Trussell?

  That is what this is. You're right.

• 45:09Speaker 06

  They like that.

• 45:11Duncan Trussell?

  That's exactly what this is.

• 45:12Kurt Metzger?

  Weren't we talking on the first episode of this, Duncan, about, um, Aristotle was talking about drinking jizz was good for you because it's where all the logic is. Oh my God.

• 45:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. So, so basically like you, you hear about like modern times, you hear about the artificial womb. Everyone's talking about, you know, China figuring out how to make, you know, embryos without a woman. Like, is that a homunculus?

• 45:38Speaker 06

  They have.

• 45:39Duncan Trussell?

  So would that be?

• 45:39Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, they have.

• 45:40Duncan Trussell?

  So, so would that be considered a homunculus?

• 45:44Speaker 06

  So here's the thing, here's the thing. They have created artificial embryos for quote unquote research purposes. And, uh, if I recall correctly, there is a law that requires you to, if you're doing any sort of experimentation on embryos, to end, end it at a certain timeframe, but who's to say that somebody hasn't, A, extended a little, let's give it two more weeks. Let's give it two more weeks. And then on top of that, uh, there was another people in twenty twenty-two, I believe it was, uh, that created an artificial embryo. So it wasn't technically a human embryo. So where are the laws for that? Because if you think about it, human cloning is illegal.

• 46:26Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's the only reason we don't have it.

• 46:28Speaker 06

  Something fake.

• 46:29Duncan Trussell?

  That's right.

• 46:30Speaker 06

  If it's something fake, why would it be illegal, right? So there's a reasoning behind that.

• 46:34Duncan Trussell?

  Right. And China definitely isn't breaking that law. But with that, technically.

• 46:39Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, China, why are they always?

• 46:41Duncan Trussell?

  They're very ethical. They, I promise you, they're not cloning people or breaking ethical law.

• 46:45Kurt Metzger?

  If China has broken the law, we already have that technology thirty years ago. I said, if they have broken the law, you could beg your ass, America has that forty years before they had it.

• 46:56Duncan Trussell?

  Let him finish, Donnie.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 46:58Duncan Trussell?

  Jesus, you on that one.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 47:00Duncan Trussell?

  Jesus, you.

• 47:01Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 47:02Duncan Trussell?

  Um, so, so technically a homunculus, that would be a homunculus, right? Or is a homunculus like a whole different thing? I'm just, I'm just trying to draw a parallel, like.

• 47:12Kurt Metzger?

  Of course it is.

• 47:12Duncan Trussell?

  These people were already on to what we're doing now. Like they, they already knew this was possible.

• 47:20Speaker 06

  So according to my studies, I would consider that a homunculus. Absolutely. If, if we go based off of Pericelsian concepts, absolutely. Now, if they, if they've called it something else, sure. I mean, uh, you can call it whatever you want, but there are various versions. Because mind you, the word homunculus didn't come into existence until the sixteenth century. But there were versions, like the Libra Vacay, where it calls it something else. It calls it the boy or the substance or.

• 47:48Kurt Metzger?

  The boy?

• 47:49Duncan Trussell?

  Little guy.

• 47:50Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 47:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's, it's bad. It gets bad. I mean, um, because you also have the golem, which plays into this. Uh, Adam in the Talmud was the first golem. So that's kind of sort of like a homunculus. And I, and I did a, I did a, I was opening up for Sam Tripoli in Summerfield, Florida, once upon a time, and I did a whole joke set on homunculus. And I had a Jew joke in there because essentially they created the first sex dolls. So there was this.

• 48:18Kurt Metzger?

  Who, what?

• 48:19Speaker 06

  This rabbi, yeah, yeah. So this rabbi, so the, the rabbis created the homunculus, right?

• 48:24Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 48:24Speaker 06

  And.

• 48:25Kurt Metzger?

  It was the fuck.

• 48:25Speaker 06

  There was a particular rabbi that created a female homunculus. And she would clean the house, cook for him, et cetera, et cetera.

• 48:33Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God.

• 48:34Speaker 06

  Also have sex with it because it wasn't created by God. So it was kosher.

• 48:39Duncan Trussell?

  Ah.

• 48:40Speaker 06

  It was kosher worship.

• 48:40Duncan Trussell?

  That makes sense.

• 48:41Kurt Metzger?

  That explains Rabbi Shmuley selling dildos with his daughter online.

• 48:45Duncan Trussell?

  Can I ask you a que?

• 48:46Kurt Metzger?

  I was like, why is it kosher? Yeah. Oh.

• 48:49Speaker 06

  Pornhub. I mean, think about it.

• 48:51Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know, but I owe them a thank you letter.

• 48:53Kurt Metzger?

  Um, thank.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Can I ask, are there homunculi like roaming amongst us?

• 49:02Speaker 06

  Um, so if you wanna skip forward to like Crowley era, cause Crowley wrote about this as well.

• 49:09Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 49:09Speaker 06

  And Jack Parsons allegedly died, uh, uh, according to some people, trying to create a homunculus.

• 49:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:15Speaker 06

  But Crowley and Parsons, when they wrote to each other, Parsons had mentioned to Crowley that he was trying to create a homunculus. And Crowley got, kinda got mad at him for trying to do that, but Crowley, the way that he puts it, and we can, uh, we can relate this to, to, uh, Epstein and his Zoro Ranch, where he was trying to impregnate like thirty-three women. Well, again, according to Crowley, cause he wrote a whole, uh, I guess they call it an epistle, or like this, booklet, I guess, on homunculus, he gives you instructions on how to create, uh, uh, not so much an alchemical homunculus, but more of an astrological one, where they believe that you can infuse the embryo.

• 49:54Kurt Metzger?

  Is that a moonchild?

• 49:55Speaker 06

  Three month mark. Yes, exactly. So the moonchild, exactly. So it's about essentially impregnating an embryo with an elemental, or a demon, or a god of some sort.

• 50:06Duncan Trussell?

  That is so inception. So you're impregnating an embryo?

• 50:11Kurt Metzger?

  No, you, it's the thing I talked about before, dude, on an earlier episode. Okay, moonchild. I always think Hitler's a moonchild.

• 50:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, according to Crowley's instructions, you need to copulate, right, during certain astrological alignments, and within certain geometric formations. And if you look at Epstein's, uh, Zoro Ranch, which is, which is thirty-three thousand, three hundred and thirty-nine feet or something like that, some crazy number, he's got like this huge circle and square on the outside of it. And if you start to connect the dots of like, hey, what a weird coincidence, right? Uh, if you line up all the astrological and geometrical alignments, it kinda makes sense that he was trying to, in my opinion, create some sort of moonchild, which is.

• 50:56Kurt Metzger?

  That's pretty common.

• 50:57Speaker 06

  And another form of homunculus.

• 50:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it, well, yeah.

• 51:00Speaker 02

  Can I ask you this? Is there like a test where you could test to see if someone's a homunculus? Because I don't know if you know who I am. I'm a Donny Rothschild of the Rothschild era.

• 51:09Duncan Trussell?

  This is.

• 51:09Speaker 02

  And, um, I never had a, I never, I never had a mother. And anytime I would ask my father, hey, that, where's mom? He would just point at like, uh, a little beaker and go, you were created there. You were, and I, he was a funny.

• 51:23Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like you already answered your question. You had two gay dads and a hole in the wall, like the old joke. Now, please, we're trying to learn about homunculi.

• 51:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, Donnie, we'll, we'll cover this later.

• 51:31Kurt Metzger?

  We'll get to your shitbag family in a minute.

• 51:33Duncan Trussell?

  Two gay dads.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to find out why I don't have a fucking mom, asshole.

• 51:37Kurt Metzger?

  I could've told you that. Cause your dirty rabbi made you out of a dreidel. He got a, he got a clown loaf. What the fuck was that?

• 51:45Speaker 06

  Homunculi, homunculi tend to be a little autistic. So I mean, if you're on the spectrum, there is.

• 51:50Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, why are they autistic? Is that true? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

• 51:53Duncan Trussell?

  Are they really autistic?

• 51:55Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 51:55Speaker 06

  Because they're, they're beings created from magic. They're not perfect because they're not created by God. So they have superpowers. And that's another, that's another reason why these alchemists are creating these little, uh, chicha chia pets, where it's like, they want like these little alchemical, essentially gods, because they believe that they're, since it came from magic. Yeah, yeah, uh, kind of. Yeah, cause it's elemental. So, sure.

• 52:19Duncan Trussell?

  Let me ask you this.

• 52:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, the sunstone shit, when Tanner read the disgusting Libra vaca, he goes, oh, this is from Pokemon. I'm not gonna, what the fuck?

• 52:28Duncan Trussell?

  But, listen, I, I know it's probably more complex, but can you sort of summarize how you would make one of these things? Like, I know it's probably like very complex, or books are dedicated to it, but what, what are the basic ingredients? Like, and, and does the recipe line up throughout grimoires or texts? Like, how do you make, uh, little guy?

• 52:50Speaker 06

  So, so there's various ways to do it. And, and, and we'll talk about my favorite one.

• 52:58Duncan Trussell?

  My favorite homunculus recipe?

• 53:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, my favorite, uh, my favorite homunculus, the Taoist monks, which, uh, Taoist alchemy is a form of, of, of alchemy in China.

• 53:09Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:10Speaker 06

  They believed that, uh, cause they wanted to escape reincarnation. And they believed that through semen retention and through meditation, they could reverse what they called the way, or this light that would come out of, that emanates from everything, that they could reverse it in on itself. And within their solar plex, like their chest area, they would create this little crystallized man that would then project outward into the world and run off into reality, into the real world. And that's how they could escape, uh.

• 53:40Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, like a tulpa?

• 53:41Speaker 06

  Incarnation.

• 53:42Duncan Trussell?

  Like they trade their incarnation with this little guy?

• 53:46Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

• 53:48Speaker 06

  More like a physical, like, I, I imagine a physical little golden man just running away from, out of, you know.

• 53:53Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so.

• 53:54Speaker 06

  You know, you, you, you've heard Tracy Twine say, it's all about the anal birth of a homunculus. And she had, she was on it.

• 54:01Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah, right. Okay, wait.

• 54:04Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, it, right, wait, sorry, I'm sorry, sorry. The little golden guy runs out of your butt?

• 54:08Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 54:09Speaker 06

  Out of your solar, they, they said they would project it out of their solar.

• 54:12Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, I'm so sorry.

• 54:13Kurt Metzger?

  Your solar plex is not your butt.

• 54:15Duncan Trussell?

  Are you kidding? I know the difference between my butt and my belly button.

• 54:18Kurt Metzger?

  You don't know your elbow from your solar plex.

• 54:22Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, so.

• 54:22Speaker 06

  Hey, may, maybe, cause Crowley did talk about the, about homunculus as well. It's all about the, uh.

• 54:28Kurt Metzger?

  That guy, that lamb, you turn the picture upside down, it looks like, uh, he's being born out of a fucking hairy asshole. That's what it looks like if you turn lamb picture upside down.

• 54:38Duncan Trussell?

  Wouldn't you rather it come out of your butt?

• 54:39Kurt Metzger?

  Laugh my ass off.

• 54:40Duncan Trussell?

  I don't want the thing to climb out, alien style, pop out of my solar plex. Poop it out.

• 54:47Kurt Metzger?

  I'm gonna forget what I'm gonna say, because you're, you're inane questions that you're asking him. These are silly milkman questions.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  That was a good question. That was.

• 54:55Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, but just the process you said. So the Taoist monks' idea is that since jizz comes out of you and then propagates the species, if they hold it in, they're like reversing, like they're pushing it back up the life stream? And then it backs up and forms the guy? Is that the idea?

• 55:15Speaker 06

  Yeah, pretty much, cause they said, hey, if, if when I blow my load into a woman, it creates a baby, what happens if I keep it inside?

• 55:22Kurt Metzger?

  What happens if I blow a load inside myself?

• 55:24Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 55:25Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I waste my cum wishes every time.

• 55:28Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, yeah, me too.

• 55:29Speaker 06

  The oral boros, what if I just keep blowing loads inside myself? What happens then? So it's like, uh, they, that's, again, that's a form of it. If we go to the sixteenth century, which is a lot simpler, a lot simpler.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  How do you?

• 55:40Speaker 06

  Helsis talked about, uh.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  How do you blow a load into yourself?

• 55:44Duncan Trussell?

  I, I can answer that.

• 55:45Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, what's the sound of one hand clapping?

• 55:47Duncan Trussell?

  You, you, no, I read about the Taoist technique, and you probably know this. I read that what they would do is shove their thumb up into their taint right as they're coming.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:57Duncan Trussell?

  And it blocks it.

• 55:59Speaker 02

  Sounds like a good time.

• 56:00Kurt Metzger?

  It's just like kicking up a hose. You what?

• 56:04Speaker 06

  Or you pinch the tip.

• 56:05Duncan Trussell?

  I read thumb into the taint. I read, cause thumb into the taint, it blocks the seminal vesicles.

• 56:10Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 56:11Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, oh my gosh.

• 56:12Speaker 06

  Yeah. I had a friend of mine, I have a story, I'm not gonna reveal who, who it is, but I had a friend of mine who said he was messing around with this chick one time, and she was into, so I got some freaky deaky alchemical stuff. And when he was about to bust, she pinched the tip of his penis and, and, uh, made him, he said it was pretty painful. I don't know if she was trying to create a homunculus.

• 56:31Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like it's going the opposite way.

• 56:33Speaker 06

  Could've made a homunculus.

• 56:34Kurt Metzger?

  It just sounds like some kind of a, uh, uh, what do you call that where the cord gets, uh, infected? I had it one time. It's the worst.

• 56:41Duncan Trussell?

  You've had that?

• 56:41Kurt Metzger?

  You know what I'm talking about? You, it's, uh, epididymitis or something? Wow, that sucks. No.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 56:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 56:49Kurt Metzger?

  It's, uh, an infection of the sperm cord that goes to your balls. So like, if you.

• 56:54Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 56:55Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, you can get it, like, uh, I don't know if you got a blowjob from somebody that had a, a, a.

• 57:00Duncan Trussell?

  A rotten tooth.

• 57:02Kurt Metzger?

  Ew, really? Yeah, maybe. Uh, wait till the teeth fall out. That's my advice.

• 57:07Speaker 02

  That sounded like from, like, past experience.

• 57:09Kurt Metzger?

  But, um, dude, I thought, dude, I had a lump on my, I thought I had cancer. I go, I was like, that's like, what the fuck? But it wouldn't have happened overnight. It was just an infection.

• 57:17Duncan Trussell?

  You know, I thought that I had that, but it was cancer.

• 57:20Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Well, there's a Taoism to this. There's a Taoist yin and yang to this story, yeah. Okay, wait. So, that's such a gross thing. Again, the, the law says, when they're fucking around with this shit, that they're supposed to like destroy the embryo of certain months, but obviously, and I always point this out with cloning shit, because the only reason we don't clone humans, uh, is because it's not legal. So that means they definitely have done that for a long fucking time.

• 57:49Duncan Trussell?

  Sure, why wouldn't you? But, what?

• 57:50Speaker 06

  A hundred percent.

• 57:51Duncan Trussell?

  Donnie, did you have a question?

• 57:53Speaker 02

  No, I'm just, this is very interesting.

• 57:54Duncan Trussell?

  So do you, uh, do you believe that, I mean, aside of like from modern times, where I'm sure it's happened, do you think any of these alchemists or sorcerers actually figured out how to do this?

• 58:07Duncan Trussell?

  Do you believe this?

• 58:08Speaker 06

  That's the part that, that gets me, because I, in, in my opinion, I think anything is possible. And I think maybe perhaps if you're able to kind of succeed at least one time, who's to say that they didn't? And the reason that they write about it and so many, throughout all of history, I mean.

• 58:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 58:26Speaker 06

  Third century, all the way up into the twentieth century, I think that maybe, just maybe, they could have succeeded at least one time. And I think that it'll, I think it exists now. Uh, I think a lot of these influencers and things could be not so much alchemical homunculus, but more of like moon children, where they are brought, and they are brought into this world just for that one thing.

• 58:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Nick Fuentes, yes.

• 58:49Speaker 06

  El, you're gonna be the, look at the island boys. You can't tell me they're not homunculi. I mean, look at them.

• 58:54Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, pull up the island boys. I've never thought of that, but pull that up.

• 58:58Speaker 02

  They're good guys.

• 58:59Duncan Trussell?

  You know the island boys?

• 59:00Kurt Metzger?

  And they're like, their, their background's weird too. They have some like.

• 59:03Duncan Trussell?

  You think they got cooked up?

• 59:05Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, that looks like.

• 59:07Speaker 06

  Epstein picture with them, so I mean, I wouldn't doubt it.

• 59:09Kurt Metzger?

  They both look like jizz socks. They look like something my mom found behind my bed when I was fourteen.

• 59:17Speaker 06

  In that sock, yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. We were all making homunculi when we were growing up.

• 59:21Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, that's what I, that's some of my nightmares is my socks coming back. Not, okay, wait.

• 59:28Speaker 06

  So, in the, in the 16th century, uh, Pariselle says pretty much broke it down. He said, if you take your, your, and again, there are ingredients of the recipe that we don't know what it is, like the acronym of blah, blah, blah, or the golden stone. Like, we don't know what that is, right?

• 59:45Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 59:45Speaker 06

  So, he said, pretty much, you take this acronym and you put it in a vessel with your semen and you put it in horse or cow dung and let it sit there for X amount of time, forty, I think he says forty days. Uh, eventually you will have a, a, a transparent little man that grows in there. And again, this is Pariselle's, it's not

• 1:00:04Duncan Trussell?

  In cow shit?

• 1:00:05Speaker 06

  Joe Schmo, like, yeah, cow dung or horse manure, so for the, for the warmth.

• 1:00:10Duncan Trussell?

  That's, oh, okay, I see.

• 1:00:12Speaker 06

  The womb.

• 1:00:13Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my dear. Well, guess what? Uh, those stupid gray, uh, aliens, uh, seem like homunculi today. And that's that thing where they gotta take, like, cattle vaginas all, all the time to make it be born out of something?

• 1:00:27Duncan Trussell?

  Those are the vessels.

• 1:00:28Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and, and also, what is it? The Varginia incident in Brazil that they always portray as only an ET thing? No, there was some guy that was dicking around with that stuff for many years, some occultist, that was doing some weird shit. And, uh, they always cut, all this alien thing, they always wanna cut out that part, the part that where there's an occult ritual, 'cause it's very connected. Anyway.

• 1:00:50Speaker 06

  Really? I haven't heard that part of that, but.

• 1:00:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, uh, I'm gonna get, we're gonna get him on Steve Mara and Nathaniel Gil, so my buddy Nathaniel Gillis, AKA Smart Shane, is, uh, is my fans called. Uh, he's a demonologist and him and Steve Mara, Steve Mara's the guy from the Skull Experiment.

• 1:01:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Kurt Metzger?

  And he's, uh, anyway, their, their work is the most interesting because they really are nailing the necro, uh, what's his name? Nathaniel calls it Necronetics, that's his study he does?

• 1:01:18Duncan Trussell?

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:19Kurt Metzger?

  'Cause he says some race of necromancers is doing all these implants and all that, it's body hopping. And, uh, weirdly, Professor Zhang on the last Doper Cup episode, he thinks the same fucking thing, that's body hoppers. I think it is too, because everything you hear about is that. How do, even when we had, yeah.

• 1:01:38Speaker 06

  Part, part of the homunculus as well was for these alchemists essentially to have a sort of air that they could, you know, implant their, in my opinion, their consciousness into and live forever.

• 1:01:49Kurt Metzger?

  That's right.

• 1:01:50Speaker 06

  Way of, of achieving immortality. And if you look at that one guy now that takes his son's blood plasma or whatever, like, that's pretty weird.

• 1:01:59Kurt Metzger?

  It's all good for you.

• 1:02:01Duncan Trussell?

  Me and Donnie are actually friends with him. He's been on my podcast.

• 1:02:05Kurt Metzger?

  You had that guy on your podcast?

• 1:02:06Duncan Trussell?

  Brian Johnson.

• 1:02:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. No shit.

• 1:02:07Duncan Trussell?

  Very cool guy.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  That picture you just pulled, that picture you just pulled up, that is what, like, my babysitter used to dress in all black.

• 1:02:16Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:02:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:17Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what picture? Not that.

• 1:02:18Speaker 02

  No, no, no, at the, the one you just, no, no, no, no, that, like.

• 1:02:23Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:02:24Duncan Trussell?

  Are you kidding me? That's a necromancer. That's necromancer garb. That's like an occult.

• 1:02:30Kurt Metzger?

  Donnie, you're fucking gross and your family's gross. I want to tell you.

• 1:02:33Speaker 02

  Every family lives differently, Kurt. Fuck you. Like, shit, man. Like, that's just my reality.

• 1:02:39Duncan Trussell?

  I want my baby's kids' babysitter to look like that.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  He was a nice guy who'd read me stories.

• 1:02:44Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:02:45Duncan Trussell?

  How would you conceal what we're looking at?

• 1:02:47Speaker 06

  Hold on. To him to go to sleep?

• 1:02:49Speaker 02

  That was, that was the book.

• 1:02:50Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, can you get, can we get?

• 1:02:52Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking kidding me?

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  No, we would do, we would do bath time and then he's like, who's ready for the necro, necromonic, necromonic, I'll be me, me.

• 1:02:59Speaker 06

  Who wants to learn about solomonic magic?

• 1:03:01Speaker 02

  Yes, that was the guy.

• 1:03:03Kurt Metzger?

  Did you call him Shlomo?

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  His name wasn't Shlomo, his name was Shlamo.

• 1:03:07Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, shit. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Um, Brian Johnson and his son and dad, there is photos.

• 1:03:13Duncan Trussell?

  I asked him about this.

• 1:03:14Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, put a, there's a photo shoot of his dad and his son, and they're all together in the same photo, and I really would like to bring it up. And dad, yeah, go ahead. Uh, where is it? Yeah, right there. See the grandpa holding his belly? The tech bro, no, all the way to the right, all the way to the right. Yeah, hit that one. Wait, wait, what are you doing? Yeah. Well, look, look, look, look on the pictures. There it is.

• 1:03:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:37Kurt Metzger?

  So, dude, he's got his hands on his fucking.

• 1:03:40Speaker 02

  You have a, you have a problem with this picture, Kurt? I just see, I just see a family in love.

• 1:03:44Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, what's his name? Who's that comic that's kinda heavy said cowboy guy here? He made me laugh 'cause he goes, he says he's got bootcut jeans and he's barefoot. Look at the grandpa with bootcut jeans.

• 1:03:54Duncan Trussell?

  It does look like a band, like some kind of boy band.

• 1:03:57Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, the Fathers and Sons, it's called.

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  It's just, I, I just, I find this beautiful.

• 1:04:02Duncan Trussell?

  But you know, though, I asked him about the blood thing, 'cause that's like, you know, this, you know, I asked him about being a vampire and stuff.

• 1:04:08Kurt Metzger?

  And what'd he say?

• 1:04:09Duncan Trussell?

  What? Well, he said, what's wrong with being a vampire? And I said, that's what a vampire would say. But he was.

• 1:04:14Kurt Metzger?

  Well, he's got an.

• 1:04:15Speaker 06

  No, right?

• 1:04:16Duncan Trussell?

  Well, no, what he said, this is like, this is what he told me, and this is, he said the press didn't pick up that there was some kind of re, his dad had, I, I don't know what disease his dad had. But there was some research coming out that those kinds of blood transfusions could help. This is, this is what he told me. And so, um, before he gave it to his dad, he, his, his kid volunteered to, like, give his grandpa this blood. He wanted to try it to see if anything happened, to like, follow whatever the protocol was. Then they give it to his dad, and he said it didn't work and they don't do it anymore, but he tried it and it doesn't do anything, which seems to be the.

• 1:04:51Kurt Metzger?

  Right. Ambrosia, though, Peter Thiel started a whole company called Ambrosia.

• 1:04:55Duncan Trussell?

  Right, and I didn't know about that. I wish I had when I interviewed you.

• 1:04:57Kurt Metzger?

  And Clavicula, from what I understand, was one of them blood prostitutes that all these guys.

• 1:05:02Duncan Trussell?

  Blood bags.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  You have a problem with this guy too, Kurt?

• 1:05:05Kurt Metzger?

  Clav?

• 1:05:06Speaker 02

  Clav's a good guy.

• 1:05:08Kurt Metzger?

  Clav is a homo.

• 1:05:09Speaker 02

  He's just trying to make America look beautiful.

• 1:05:11Kurt Metzger?

  He's a homo onkyless.

• 1:05:12Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, have you ever been tempted to make one of these things? Like, if I knew all this stuff about it?

• 1:05:18Kurt Metzger?

  A twinkie into a different kind of twinkie, yeah.

• 1:05:21Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever been tempted to make your own little guy?

• 1:05:26Kurt Metzger?

  Are you asking Juan?

• 1:05:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, Juan.

• 1:05:29Speaker 06

  No, no, no, it's, I think it's blasphemous in the eyes of God, and even these guys that were practicing it back then, they, they understood it because there's, there's stories. And I actually wrote an 88-page, uh, zine, I guess you could call it, it's on my website, uh, all about.

• 1:05:45Duncan Trussell?

  What's your website?

• 1:05:46Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, what's your website?

• 1:05:47Speaker 06

  My website's, uh, my podcast is the Juan on Juan Podcast, which is TJ OJP dot com.

• 1:05:53Kurt Metzger?

  That name is the best for podcast name.

• 1:05:55Duncan Trussell?

  Say your, say your, uh, website again.

• 1:05:57Kurt Metzger?

  Juan on Juan.

• 1:05:58Speaker 06

  Uh, T, yeah, TJ OJP dot com or the.

• 1:06:02Duncan Trussell?

  TJ OJP dot com. Look below, you'll find a link to Juan's website and podcast. Thank you.

• 1:06:11Speaker 06

  These guys back then, they understood, and there's stories about these alchemists who were church fathers and Christians at the, at the time of creating these homunculi in these vessels and immediately destroying them because they believed that God, since God hadn't created it, that there was gonna be a demon that would, uh, get encapsulated within that, within that.

• 1:06:31Kurt Metzger?

  Do you think, wait, that must relate, yeah. Yeah, sorry, my bad. Go ahead.

• 1:06:35Speaker 06

  David Pingree, which was a researcher who was actually translating, uh, 'cause I translated the, uh, part of the Libervacade, like, two or three years ago.

• 1:06:44Kurt Metzger?

  God damn.

• 1:06:45Speaker 06

  And, I mean, the tech is, uh, the tech has gotten better, but he actually passed away in the middle of finishing the translation. And he believed that homunculi were actually artificial demons and that they could be used, and if you think about.

• 1:06:59Kurt Metzger?

  What does that mean? What do you mean, artificial demons? You mean the consciousness was artificial or the body, it was a, uh, oikotariat or something for the consciousness?

• 1:07:09Speaker 06

  Believe that, right? You have the archetype of like the mad scientist. We see that over and over again in like movies and stuff like that, like Frankenstein and all these guys. Um, they, he believed that you were possessed to do something so atrocious as created. Like, if you, if you read the Libervacade, it's disgusting. And he's like, only somebody possessed by demons would go to these lengths to do this.

• 1:07:32Kurt Metzger?

  Or Japanese video game designer.

• 1:07:35Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, don't you think?

• 1:07:36Speaker 06

  Yeah, like, if you think about it, it's pretty gross.

• 1:07:39Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, don't you think that if we went back in time, took one of these alchemists who realized it was blasphemous, brought them into the present moment, showed them ChatGPT, don't you think they'd be like, you've created a blasphemy here? Like, this is some kind of digital homunculus?

• 1:07:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, a hundred, no, a hundred percent. And if you, if you think about, so, part, again, how I mentioned earlier, I call the homunculus the utility knife of the occult, where they, they would, uh, some of these homunculi would divinate and they would tell prophecies and they would tell the future. So, part of, and in 1770, forgot, uh, there was this, uh, one, not 1776, but 1774, wow, wow. 1775, Count Johann Ferdinand von Kustein, he was a, a Freemason, allegedly had created 10 different homunculi. And he would put on these shows in these lodges, these Freemasonic lodges.

• 1:08:34Duncan Trussell?

  Cool.

• 1:08:35Speaker 06

  And the homunculi would prophesize and tell the future, and allegedly they were able to tell some, uh, upcoming future events that ended up happening. And so, there's stories like that over and over again to where if you look at ChatGPT and everyone using it now, it is some sort of, uh, kodo homunculus, if you will, where it is divinating for you every single day.

• 1:08:54Kurt Metzger?

  It does kinda suck, though. I mean, you know, have you talked to ChatGPT?

• 1:08:59Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, you gotta hear the new voice. We could do that later.

• 1:09:01Kurt Metzger?

  The voice doesn't mean shit. Dude, I use them all the time.

• 1:09:03Duncan Trussell?

  No, I don't, I'm not saying it's good. It's fucking weird. Donnie, what, what were you saying?

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Juan, can I ask you a question? You said that homunculi, you, you, you find it like atrocious? Uh, why, why? Based off the information you just said, that seems like pretty sick.

• 1:09:16Kurt Metzger?

  You not familiar with the Libervacade?

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:09:20Kurt Metzger?

  The Book of Cows?

• 1:09:21Speaker 02

  It sounds like a fun read, like, it sounds like a book I, I was.

• 1:09:24Duncan Trussell?

  Farmer book.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  Yes, it sounds like a nice bedtime story.

• 1:09:28Duncan Trussell?

  Book of, for farming.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  But like, why do you think it's such a horrific thing when you say, oh, these people are coming out prophesizing? That, that seems pretty cool to me.

• 1:09:36Duncan Trussell?

  Actually, true.

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  It seems.

• 1:09:37Speaker 06

  Why would you trust them?

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  We should trust these people telling us how to, like, live our lives. I think it's actually kinda sweet of them to do that.

• 1:09:45Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, I would like, like a prophesying little guy.

• 1:09:48Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on.

• 1:09:49Speaker 06

  It's demonic, it's demonic.

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  What is demonic? What is, what's bad about demonic? That's.

• 1:09:56Duncan Trussell?

  That's a good question.

• 1:09:57Kurt Metzger?

  Weird gay butt baby prophesying.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  I'm talking to Juan, Kurt, please.

• 1:10:01Duncan Trussell?

  Let him ask the question. Donny Rothschild.

• 1:10:03Kurt Metzger?

  Juan on Juan.

• 1:10:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, Donny Rothschild just made a great point, great question. What's wrong with demonic?

• 1:10:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's wrong with demonic? It seems like a good time. It's, it's team building, it's, uh, you come together, you worship one thing. What's the difference between demonic worship and like the Christian worship?

• 1:10:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my dear.

• 1:10:22Duncan Trussell?

  Great question.

• 1:10:23Kurt Metzger?

  It's not a great question.

• 1:10:24Speaker 06

  We worship the one true God.

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  Kurt, we're having a Juan and Donnie podcast right now.

• 1:10:28Duncan Trussell?

  You say that again, Juan, with you. Donnie cut you off.

• 1:10:33Speaker 06

  So, yeah, no, again, I'm a God fearing Christian, so I believe that, and I had a, you know, looking into these things will drive you insane. I mean, if you look at any occult

• 1:10:42Kurt Metzger?

  They're so gross.

• 1:10:43Speaker 06

  It never, it never goes good for them. It always, they have a shitty life. They always end up either drug addicted or they blow themselves up. So it's obviously not working out for them.

• 1:10:53Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:10:53Speaker 06

  Uh, so why would you want to try?

• 1:10:55Kurt Metzger?

  Well, wait, wait, wait. If you're born into it, if you're like a Rothschild, it's, I guess, working out for you. It doesn't work, you know, yeah. Yeah, well, it makes me laugh because he's like.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  I just, I just hate that you guys are attacking like my family's valley. This is just like our beliefs. You, Juan, you go to church, you drink the blood of Christ, you eat that bread.

• 1:11:13Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:11:13Speaker 02

  I fuck, you know, we sac, like, we sacrifice, we, like, what's the difference?

• 1:11:18Duncan Trussell?

  What's the difference?

• 1:11:19Speaker 02

  I thought this was a, this country.

• 1:11:20Speaker 06

  I respect you.

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  Thank you, Juan.

• 1:11:22Speaker 06

  I respect it.

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  Appreciate it.

• 1:11:24Speaker 06

  We're in the US, right? Freedom of religion. You can worship a Cthulhu for like, and and some people do worship Cthulhu. I mean, that's what the OTO is into.

• 1:11:31Speaker 02

  And Juan, I would love.

• 1:11:32Kurt Metzger?

  Is that a Nigerian god?

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  Juan, I would love to, like, maybe meet you. I could bring you to my church and, like, maybe we can, like, you can experience it. Cause I just, it pisses me off. You're spreading

• 1:11:42Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:11:42Speaker 02

  these hateful things about.

• 1:11:43Kurt Metzger?

  Now that this bit's gone really far, can I, yeah, can I get back to the asking the things I want to know?

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm sorry. Let me attack your belief system.

• 1:11:50Duncan Trussell?

  It's an interview. You don't need to fucking get all woke on us.

• 1:11:54Kurt Metzger?

  Tone it back a bit.

• 1:11:55Duncan Trussell?

  You worship the devil. Fine. No one cares. Go ahead.

• 1:11:58Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Pindar called. He said, I'm the dragon penis. You do have to do what I say.

• 1:12:03Speaker 06

  That's Mr. Homunculiologist to you, alright?

• 1:12:05Duncan Trussell?

  There you go, Juan.

• 1:12:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait. I'm like forgetting the questions I want to ask, cause this drivel come out of Donnie.

• 1:12:12Duncan Trussell?

  That was on purpose.

• 1:12:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. There was something important I wanted to ask him. I can't remember. The, the.

• 1:12:17Speaker 06

  It's a symptom of the alchemical process. You gotta bear with him, alright?

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:12:22Kurt Metzger?

  So, the, the alchemy thing, what exactly is alchemy? Cause I can't tell if it's like chemistry, or is it like chemistry mixed with jerking off? What the fuck is it? I know it means the mixture, right? It means alchemist.

• 1:12:35Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't it pre-chemistry? It's like the, it's like the god, god grandfather of chemistry. Like, before chemistry, it was alchemy.

• 1:12:42Speaker 06

  So.

• 1:12:43Kurt Metzger?

  Who's Al?

• 1:12:44Speaker 06

  At, at its core, alchemy is the precursor of chemistry. And a lot of these guys that were the fathers of, of modern day chemistry were doing all this stuff. And so essentially chemistry, I'm sorry, alchemy, if you look at it from like, if you go on Wikipedia, it's the transmutation of lead into gold, right? Through an alchemical process.

• 1:13:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:04Speaker 06

  But it's much deeper than that. It goes into against secret societies and, and there's various branches of, of alchemy. And the way I've come to understood it, and even after putting in so many hours of trying to understand alchemy, the way I've understood it is they believe there are two sides of it. There's the practical side of it. So you are in a, in a lab setting and you're trying to turn lead into gold. But they also believe that through the process and through the practicing of this, of this art, you could transmute yourself and essentially ascend to a higher level of consciousness or a higher level of reality.

• 1:13:39Duncan Trussell?

  You are the lead.

• 1:13:40Speaker 06

  And the thing, and the thing.

• 1:13:41Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 1:13:42Speaker 06

  The thing is, exactly. The thing is that all the guys that have ascended, right? Like Falconelli and all these great alchemists. Well, guess what? When they reach that ascension hood, they fizzle out of reality and they go into the bowels of reality. So they're not around for us to ask them as to how they achieve that. So again, it's very shattered a mystery, but it, it, it all revolves around that, about turning yourself into that gold and achieving that next level.

• 1:14:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, wait, what if I go to a good, a good electromagnetic spot and I channel them with a stupid, uh, uh, Ouija board and then I channel somebody who tells me how to make a better Ouija board? And then I ask him, I bet I could find out. I bet I could find out how to make all kinds of shit. Osiris's penis and shoot it to the moon, you know? All kinds of stuff.

• 1:14:27Duncan Trussell?

  Which would be great for the moon.

• 1:14:30Speaker 06

  How that worked out for Tracy. I mean.

• 1:14:33Kurt Metzger?

  Well, she, dude, you know what's funny is when, when she, uh, I, that last weird interview with that guy that obviously to me clearly has something to do with it. And it's because she was looking at some weird camp in Arizona that all these Turkish people were going to, which by the way is a terrible sign. You got a weird summer camp in Arizona that only Turks go to, I would say.

• 1:14:54Duncan Trussell?

  It's either hair transplants or the devil.

• 1:14:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's, uh, there's, that's the bottom line, dude. That's the fucking bottom line.

• 1:15:02Duncan Trussell?

  Guys, I, speaking of gold, I gotta go make a golden shower.

• 1:15:05Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah. So wait.

• 1:15:07Duncan Trussell?

  Do a little alchemy.

• 1:15:08Speaker 02

  It reminds me of our night in New York together. That was.

• 1:15:10Kurt Metzger?

  Juan, I want to ask you this. Um.

• 1:15:12Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 1:15:13Kurt Metzger?

  Were you, were you already, um, I guess I assume Christian, if you're saying God fearing, that's a Christian term, but were you that before you looked into this? Or did looking into this make you into that? Do you know what I mean? Cause I, I believe in God more because of how bad this shit. It's, it's really funny, dude, cause I'm pretty agnostic.

• 1:15:31Speaker 06

  Yeah. I was, I was always in the church and I was always in, into, uh, you know, worship. And I, I was born and raised Pentecostal Christian. I still go to church to this day. And it's, I'm a researcher.

• 1:15:43Kurt Metzger?

  Where you from?

• 1:15:43Speaker 06

  I find history super interesting. I'm from Puerto Rico.

• 1:15:46Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, no shit. Okay. So I grew up Jehovah Witness and I had a, I used to work at Funko Land for this guy Frank, I shouldn't say his whole name, but, uh, he was a good guy. But he's in my church. He was a Christian guy. He was from Puerto Rico. He used to call me white boy, but he was like.

• 1:15:58Speaker 06

  Yeah, I live in Florida, though.

• 1:16:00Kurt Metzger?

  Where you live?

• 1:16:01Speaker 06

  So a little Puerto Rico.

• 1:16:02Kurt Metzger?

  I, dude, in New York, oh my God, the pedophiles Vegas?

• 1:16:10Speaker 06

  Really? I've never heard it called that.

• 1:16:12Kurt Metzger?

  I just made it up, but I mean, come on. If I was gonna make a boy band, a band, that's how you order boys to the room, buy a band. I'll take a band of boys.

• 1:16:20Speaker 02

  I'll take it.

• 1:16:21Kurt Metzger?

  All those boy bands all came out of Orlando. Remember that?

• 1:16:25Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, that was some shady. So I do a lot of, uh, Florida history with Old World Florida. We stream every Thursday.

• 1:16:32Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I watch that sometimes. I want to talk to that guy. Cause I want you to do my other pod.

• 1:16:37Speaker 06

  Shout out to him.

• 1:16:39Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, dude, I, I was, my girl's from Florida and, and has a bunch of fucking crazy orb experiences.

• 1:16:47Speaker 06

  Yeah. So we, we get into all that Florida history with the, uh, with the managers and, and all that stuff. I mean, uh, we, we go deep on Old World Florida history.

• 1:16:56Kurt Metzger?

  So do you know anything about, uh, Governor Kirk and then his wife Erica Kirk from seventy five, who looks exactly like this Erica Kirk now? Do you have you, do you know anything about that?

• 1:17:07Speaker 06

  We brought that up on, on stream the other day. And it's funny because, right, we're talking about these reincarnations of these families or these alchemists. And if you look at that, if you look how, how Sam Tripoli looks like, uh, that one picture that they showed that one time.

• 1:17:21Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, I don't know this about Sam, but I'm interested to know about Sam's, uh.

• 1:17:25Speaker 06

  I think he looks like Albertus Magnus or something, or how Epstein looks like, uh, what's that one president?

• 1:17:30Kurt Metzger?

  Like Palm Beach beat, who looks like a melted clone. Yeah.

• 1:17:34Speaker 06

  Think about it.

• 1:17:35Kurt Metzger?

  That's just cause Armenians have those features.

• 1:17:39Speaker 06

  If the homunculus comes from the seed of the practitioner, it would only make sense that the homunculus that is born out of that has some sort of features of the original practitioner. So think about that. Think about that.

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  But Juan, why is it a bad thing if you're, okay?

• 1:17:54Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, before you do a bit, let me just ask a real, I'm gonna forget my question if you.

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  Okay, fair enough.

• 1:18:01Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so if I inbred enough, because I think these families do this inbreeding thing to make the DNA more receptive to that, you know, it's like a, a radio station you pick up. And if you've got the right blood, you pick up the right station. So all these inbreeding families like Donnie fucking Rothschild here, the whole goal of that is all your kids are moon children, aren't they? I mean, if you just think about naming your kid the third, you know, like how the people are the second or third, it sounds like very much like they're trying to make clones before they even knew what clones were by saying, by doing that.

• 1:18:36Speaker 06

  Oh, a hundred percent, because it's all about keeping that essence and inviting that essence or that elemental or that demon or that god into that.

• 1:18:43Kurt Metzger?

  That's a familiar, a family spirit. Yeah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, over and over and over again. And you're gonna, you're, you're bred for one, like, the homunculus was bred for one purpose, to do one thing. So when.

• 1:18:55Kurt Metzger?

  Why is Jack Black up?

• 1:18:58Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, cause he looks like Paul, okay, sorry. We're hitting stuff on the screen while we're talking to you.

• 1:19:02Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry about that, Juan.

• 1:19:03Kurt Metzger?

  Tanner put up, um, a picture of Jack Black and I was like, is he a homunculus? Cause you know, he's got a very strange, first of all, I'm pretty sure he's openly Satanist, not to discriminate against Satanists. But, um.

• 1:19:15Duncan Trussell?

  You're offending Donnie.

• 1:19:16Kurt Metzger?

  Donnie's a Jew. He's not a fucking Satanist, right?

• 1:19:20Speaker 02

  We're, it's a mix.

• 1:19:21Speaker 06

  Same thing.

• 1:19:22Kurt Metzger?

  I'm not against that. I'm saying what you are, Donny Rothschild.

• 1:19:25Speaker 02

  We dabble, Kurt. I'm not allowed to dabble?

• 1:19:28Duncan Trussell?

  Can we not get into this fucking woke shit?

• 1:19:30Speaker 02

  Dude, while you were gone, he attitude with this guy.

• 1:19:32Kurt Metzger?

  I know. I am gonna bring up Gaza to him, but we're not yet.

• 1:19:35Duncan Trussell?

  He's trying to do an interview.

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  Oh, what do you mean? A, a good time Gaza?

• 1:19:40Duncan Trussell?

  What? Can we please, wait.

• 1:19:43Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:19:43Duncan Trussell?

  Hold that thought.

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:19:45Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Hold it inside till he becomes a little man with superpowers. Then fly the fuck out of here, Donnie. Okay, wait, wait.

• 1:19:52Duncan Trussell?

  Love you, man, but just let us do this interview. Let, let the mystery boys work, you know? Kurt, he's, he's offended me sometimes too, but just.

• 1:20:01Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't, sorry.

• 1:20:03Duncan Trussell?

  You're a fucking demonic.

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  He's fucked up, dude.

• 1:20:05Duncan Trussell?

  Demonology, okay.

• 1:20:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so the inbre, so you know how in, you, you know those Dune, but you ever read Dune or see the movies?

• 1:20:11Duncan Trussell?

  Are you kidding?

• 1:20:12Kurt Metzger?

  Juan.

• 1:20:12Duncan Trussell?

  I loved it.

• 1:20:14Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:20:15Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so, cause it very, it makes me laugh, cause now that I looked into all this shit that I've looked into, Frank Herbert clearly must have studied all of this, especially stuff like Liber Vake, because it sounds very much like those Tellalaxu guys, that they make the women into, uh, just pods to.

• 1:20:32Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, no, it's Duncan Idaho. It's like the next movie is all about this shit. They, they cloned Duncan Idaho.

• 1:20:39Kurt Metzger?

  Is that your middle name, Idaho?

• 1:20:40Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:20:41Kurt Metzger?

  Duncan Idaho Trussell?

• 1:20:44Duncan Trussell?

  Honestly, yeah. But today I'm the milkman.

• 1:20:49Kurt Metzger?

  Duncan, yeah, good.

• 1:20:50Speaker 06

  I get, I get made fun of a lot because, you know, I always talk about homunculi encoded things throughout all of history and pop culture and, and all these things, but it does, there, I, I believe that there are different versions of it throughout all of history.

• 1:21:05Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, what are some other?

• 1:21:06Speaker 06

  It all goes back to the same concept.

• 1:21:07Duncan Trussell?

  What, what, what are some other homunculi encoded things? Like, what are some homunculi dog whistles?

• 1:21:15Speaker 06

  Um, so cloning a hundred percent. See what else? Uh, the one that we, we were all born and, and raised with was the voodoo doll, right? An effigy.

• 1:21:24Kurt Metzger?

  A puppet.

• 1:21:25Speaker 06

  A person, right?

• 1:21:27Kurt Metzger?

  It's actually not from voodoo.

• 1:21:29Speaker 06

  Again.

• 1:21:29Kurt Metzger?

  You know that? It's not from voodoo.

• 1:21:31Duncan Trussell?

  What is it from?

• 1:21:31Speaker 06

  It's not from, no, it's not from voodoo.

• 1:21:33Duncan Trussell?

  What's it from?

• 1:21:34Speaker 06

  Again, it's, it's fetishism.

• 1:21:36Kurt Metzger?

  It's European.

• 1:21:37Speaker 06

  It's fetishism. And what they believed was.

• 1:21:38Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:39Speaker 06

  Uh, and, and fetishism, what they believe was, cause it's interesting, cause a fetish is something that someone is into that's kinda kinky and weird.

• 1:21:45Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:46Speaker 06

  Fetishism is actually the invocation of deities or demons into inanimate objects. And the Egyptians and Mesopotamians, they were all doing this.

• 1:21:55Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 1:21:56Speaker 06

  Inviting their gods into these talismans and, and these statues.

• 1:22:01Kurt Metzger?

  And right.

• 1:22:01Speaker 06

  About it. If you look at all those, if you look at all those statues in Egypt that had their noses blown off and their mouth, mouth blown off.

• 1:22:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:08Speaker 06

  Cause they believed that the statue could actually breathe and was an actual physical living thing.

• 1:22:13Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, so you're saying the sphinx, they were like, let's fuck it up.

• 1:22:16Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, oh, that's very int- I never heard that dude. That's very interesting. So you're saying.

• 1:22:21Speaker 06

  Maybe.

• 1:22:21Kurt Metzger?

  Um, yeah, but the thing with that, the idol thing's real. You, do you ever read Joseph P. Farrell stuff, Juan?

• 1:22:29Speaker 06

  Uh, the, the Beanstalk, uh, story?

• 1:22:32Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, Joseph P. Farrell, like, uh, Giza Death Star.

• 1:22:36Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:22:38Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, with the Giza power plant thing, uh, pyramid.

• 1:22:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and he talks about a bunch of these like weird, uh, temples where they do that kinda divination. The, I can't remember the thing in Rome, the temple, but it, they had, uh, all copper fixtures. And then, you know, you like, look at the organs on the, you watch them wiggle, right, to divinate the future? But because it's on the copper, the, they had devised some way, the, the wobbling vibration, they devised a way to, to do like, uh, a telegram.

• 1:23:07Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:23:07Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know what I mean? So like, oh, and only we can read these. So imagine you're a telegram operator in ancient times?

• 1:23:14Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I mean, this is, by the way, this is, eh, this is Hinduism. Like, pull up a Shiva Lingam ritual on YouTube, Shiva Lingam ritual. I mean, this is like, they, they believe the deities.

• 1:23:24Kurt Metzger?

  That's like your balls, isn't it?

• 1:23:25Duncan Trussell?

  That's his penis. They believe the deities are alive. They don't think of them as statues or mannequins.

• 1:23:31Kurt Metzger?

  About this. I wonder.

• 1:23:32Duncan Trussell?

  This is what you're talking about. Like, can we pull it up on YouTube?

• 1:23:34Kurt Metzger?

  It's just dicks, yeah.

• 1:23:35Duncan Trussell?

  Look up, look up, uh, on YouTube or deity, look up deity puja, de- deity P U J A. And then you'll see, like, they dress them, they feed them, like, yeah, puja deity. They believe that they, they, they didn't, they don't think of them as statues. Like, this is a, a living embodiment or a vessel within which the divine is taking up residence.

• 1:24:00Duncan Trussell?

  Not dietitian.

• 1:24:01Speaker 06

  And again, that goes back to.

• 1:24:02Duncan Trussell?

  D E I T Y.

• 1:24:04Speaker 06

  What's it missing? It's missing, it's missing a.

• 1:24:06Duncan Trussell?

  A body.

• 1:24:07Speaker 06

  A body. And if you look at, if you look at Inokian magic with like John Dean or Kelly, where a lot of their tables look like circuit boards. And if you look at.

• 1:24:15Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I've seen that, yeah.

• 1:24:16Speaker 06

  There's a daemon in, in, uh, computer, uh, you know, technology. Uh, the, the father of the modern day computer, uh, he was also trying to summon the devil at one point.

• 1:24:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 1:24:26Speaker 06

  So a lot of these guys, they were into.

• 1:24:28Kurt Metzger?

  Who's the father of the?

• 1:24:29Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, a lot of them weren't.

• 1:24:30Speaker 06

  Uh, Charles, Charles Babbage.

• 1:24:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, they were into.

• 1:24:33Kurt Metzger?

  He was trying to summon the devil with a computer?

• 1:24:36Duncan Trussell?

  Look at computer code. Look, can you look up occult words?

• 1:24:39Kurt Metzger?

  Is that really what he was trying to do?

• 1:24:40Duncan Trussell?

  Look up occult words in computer code.

• 1:24:42Speaker 06

  Not. Not with a computer, but when he was a boy growing up, he tried to summon the devil with.

• 1:24:48Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, right.

• 1:24:49Duncan Trussell?

  But who didn't?

• 1:24:50Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I never did that.

• 1:24:51Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:24:52Kurt Metzger?

  Did you do that?

• 1:24:53Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you were sort of born into a cult.

• 1:24:55Speaker 06

  Everyone does as a little boy.

• 1:24:57Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I mean, uh, I certainly, I remember one year I did some crazy ass shit. I remember one year I fucking, uh, cause I was like, w- we were taught to be nonviolent, you know? Cause like your witness, but then you'd be like bullied or something. So instead of like confronting your rage in the moment, you would build it up into weird act outs later as a kid. That's what I did. And at one time, dude, I splashed fucking chemicals on this kid.

• 1:25:21Duncan Trussell?

  Are you kidding me?

• 1:25:22Kurt Metzger?

  That I mixed up in my garage, but, uh.

• 1:25:24Duncan Trussell?

  You did the acid attack?

• 1:25:26Kurt Metzger?

  I did a Pakistani acid attack.

• 1:25:28Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my God, you just, you came up with that on your own?

• 1:25:31Kurt Metzger?

  To this day, thank God, cause it didn't like blind this person and, but I remember this, like, cause the guy had pushed me earlier at school. And, but, and, and I don't even like, but.

• 1:25:42Speaker 06

  Allegedly, right? Allegedly.

• 1:25:43Duncan Trussell?

  But were you, were you as big then as you are now? You hadn't like.

• 1:25:47Kurt Metzger?

  No, but it's just crazy. It ended up being fine, but luckily, but, I mean, I don't even know what the hell possessed me to do that, but do you see the phrase? Like the phrase, like whatever possessed you to do that? There's some weird thing with, that you, you, you could tune into. I mean, it's really, I'm, I'm very lucky that all my, like, I don't have any, um,

• 1:26:10Kurt Metzger?

  the amount of like clumsy shit I've done in my life that no one's dead.

• 1:26:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:14Kurt Metzger?

  Or me dead.

• 1:26:14Duncan Trussell?

  You are luck. You know, wait.

• 1:26:15Kurt Metzger?

  Cause I, I go through life like I'm falling down the stairs. Like, that's how I walk through life. The same way I walk down the stairs, like I'm like, ugh.

• 1:26:23Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, the, I think to me, what's fascinating with AI, which I, which I'm in, obsessed with.

• 1:26:30Kurt Metzger?

  Asian Indians.

• 1:26:31Duncan Trussell?

  What's, exactly. Is there, there are more, it's like, no, what's fascinating with, to me, Juan, is that people don't seem to know, like, the history that you know, Metzger knows, Donny Rothschild knows, cause he was raised in it. Most people don't seem to understand that chat GPT and all of these things, they think it's a new thing, but they, they don't realize that they're giving their attention. They're, they're, they're infusing a, uh, some, some kind of idol like thing, a, a two dimensional thing with their own attention, but they don't realize that this thing has grown out of a technology that has its roots in occultism. They don't understand that. And when you say it, they think you're crazy.

• 1:27:15Duncan Trussell?

  It's a deity. It's an idol.

• 1:27:18Speaker 06

  That's the stuff that regular people every day, Joe Schmo's use. The, the stuff that they have behind closed doors, there's the underground of like AI. That's the scary part. And if you look at, of the occult as, uh, in general, it's all about, it's always been about knowledge. I mean, if you go to the Garden of Genesis, right, the, the tree of knowledge of good and evil, right? It is all about knowledge. And I think that a lot of these alchemists, they were trying to do just that. They were trying to create the OG cloud, like Moses received the download from the cloud.

• 1:27:47Kurt Metzger?

  Right.

• 1:27:48Speaker 06

  Right? And they were trying to tap into the source to get information out of it. And that's why they were doing all this freaky deaky stuff. Now, if it works or not, I don't know, because I'm not an occultist. I'm an armchair occultist, so I read about this stuff. I don't practice it. But I think there is some truth to all of it, uh, to a certain extent, even if it is a more metaphysical sort of interpersonal sort of experience, a hundred percent. Or could they have.

• 1:28:12Duncan Trussell?

  No, wait, hold on, hold on.

• 1:28:13Speaker 06

  Actually been creating little men that didn't.

• 1:28:15Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, I, I don't think you need to be careful about what you're saying. I mean, and I, I'm sorry, Donnie, I know you're into data centers, but you, like, if you, if, like, you wanna make the, you know, what is it? Mark Twain said, history doesn't repeat, sometimes it echoes.

• 1:28:28Kurt Metzger?

  Sometimes it sucks its own dick.

• 1:28:30Duncan Trussell?

  And it can and will, and I will one day too. But the, it echoes and, and so like, you know, in ancient times, we were building sphinxes, pyramids. These were imbued with metaphysical energy, deities, so, uh, uh, molocs and such. Now, what are we building? Data centers, right? Why? We're building these three dimensional structures that house within them the technology within which a artificial, quote, artificial intelligence is being summoned into the homes of millions and millions and millions of people. And, you know, everyone's, you know, thinks that, that we're so modern, but it just seems to be the same old story, right?

• 1:29:13Kurt Metzger?

  Well, those are for surveillance, almost exclusively.

• 1:29:16Duncan Trussell?

  Surveillance.

• 1:29:17Speaker 06

  One of my favorite, one of my favorite concepts is called Pythagorean palaces. And the concept is that if you're able to build a building to a certain geometric proportion, you could elevate the consciousness within that building of the people in it.

• 1:29:34Kurt Metzger?

  Really?

• 1:29:35Speaker 06

  To a different level. That's, that's why.

• 1:29:37Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, you know.

• 1:29:38Speaker 06

  Masonic lodges are built the way that they're built.

• 1:29:40Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, dude, you know, you just explained to me very well is, cause I have these, uh, Freemason documents. I got, I can't think of, I had them a long time ago. Someone gave me a bunch of their, like, their inner documents, some files of them.

• 1:29:53Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 1:29:53Kurt Metzger?

  And they were all, well.

• 1:29:54Speaker 06

  Someone, right?

• 1:29:55Kurt Metzger?

  I'm, I won't say, but they were all about, it wasn't like about lizard people. It was about, and I remember it's really stuck with me because it was about how to build things. It was like spiritual acoustics.

• 1:30:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:07Kurt Metzger?

  Like, you know how comedy clubs, you want a low ceiling? It was exactly what he just said. All these things were about how you can use architecture and angles to fucking affect somebody's, um.

• 1:30:19Duncan Trussell?

  For sure.

• 1:30:20Kurt Metzger?

  I was like, fascinating.

• 1:30:21Speaker 06

  And, and, and to go even further with that, uh, back then, they used to call these beautiful buildings homunculi.

• 1:30:29Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:30:29Speaker 06

  And the reason that they, that they talked about it, right, in a talismanic, uh, sort of way was because our architects back then were looked at as magicians, right? So the architect as magician.

• 1:30:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:30:40Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:30:41Speaker 06

  They, because they were able to take these concepts from their minds, so their minds would be impregnated. And then they would put it on paper and from that paper, they would build the little model, which was the homunculus. So they'd build the little model and then they'd create the actual building. And they, they call it, they call it homunculi. They're, they're, they're, I have texts where they're calling these buildings breathing, living things. So they, the, the buildings served a purpose. Now, they weren't just beautiful because they were built to certain geometrical proportions, in my opinion, to be used as talismans.

• 1:31:11Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, that's cra- that's like those UFOs.

• 1:31:16Kurt Metzger?

  That's like the fucking UFOs are alive. Dude, all those stupid UFOs are alive like that, like the buildings. They're all homunculi. All those like saucer things, yeah.

• 1:31:27Speaker 06

  And who lives in all these palaces? All the, all the royalty, all the, the biggest families.

• 1:31:32Duncan Trussell?

  We did, Juan, to be fair, we did, anytime we were on vacation, my dad would go, he was ready to go back home, AKA our homunculus home. So that makes sense.

• 1:31:42Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:31:43Duncan Trussell?

  He literally called your home. It's so fucking crazy.

• 1:31:47Kurt Metzger?

  Calling you a homo.

• 1:31:48Duncan Trussell?

  Come on.

• 1:31:49Kurt Metzger?

  I think he was calling you a goddamn homo.

• 1:31:51Speaker 06

  We always hear the.

• 1:31:51Duncan Trussell?

  Relax, relax.

• 1:31:54Speaker 06

  Right?

• 1:31:54Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 1:31:55Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, so that's what.

• 1:31:56Speaker 06

  You know, we.

• 1:31:57Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God, dude. I, how much, um, it's hard to tell. You, you ever see like that guy talk about the tall whites, Charles Hall?

• 1:32:06Kurt Metzger?

  You don't talk about one?

• 1:32:07Speaker 06

  I think I've heard that name before.

• 1:32:09Kurt Metzger?

  So his got the most interesting dealing with extraterrestrials. He's not saying that any of this shit in it. But, uh, you know, the tall whites, they're like, uh, albino and they're, uh,

• 1:32:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:32:20Kurt Metzger?

  Like as they age.

• 1:32:21Speaker 06

  The Nordics, yeah.

• 1:32:22Kurt Metzger?

  No, not the Nordics. People say that, but no, the Nordics are a different thing. The tall whites are paper white skinned. And they get old, their, their, their bones and shit grow and outpace their organs. And that's what they die from eventually. Acromegalia, really. And, um, the older, the older they get, the tall, anyway, these details he was giving were fascinating. Now, he, and he, he was like a Wis- a Wisconsin like farm boy, but he had a degree in nuclear physics. So this could be a guy sophisticated enough to make up a good story or keep that in mind. But he worked at Dreamland and he said, they told him nothing he did was classified. He was just a weather balloon operator. You could talk about whatever you want, but he wasn't allowed to write anything down.

• 1:33:03Kurt Metzger?

  Or if he had had any kind of evidence or anything, he would be killed. But he said, you could tell anybody anything you want. They gave him no briefing. He thought it was haunted, the shack that he worked in. And that's how he starts encountering these tall whites. Okay? And, uh, as he's talking about it, it made us sound like we're like Guam or like Indonesia or something. Like it, it made it sound like we're like a place they just on the way to something else and they trade us.

• 1:33:26Duncan Trussell?

  Rest area.

• 1:33:27Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. And, but he was talking about those Tic Tac ships first. Anyway, later I hear someone refer to them as working class Anunnaki, which I found interesting. But the main point is his story, it wasn't the usual new age bullshit you hear. His story was very like, like, um, uh, I've heard this one before and it's just like racist shit. Like they're taller and whiter than us. And they look, we're as strong as gorillas compared to them.

• 1:33:53Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:33:54Kurt Metzger?

  And we heal like Wolverine compared to them. And then you're like, this just sounds like a fucking, like a thing I've heard. Um, that's why I don't think they're like aliens. I think they're all kind of like, uh, some kind of necromancer people or some shit, you know?

• 1:34:09Duncan Trussell?

  I, you know,

• 1:34:10Speaker 06

  Let's take it a step further.

• 1:34:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:34:12Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. I went pretty far.

• 1:34:13Speaker 06

  Bring it full circle. Because if, if you look at the origins of alchemy, the origins of alchemy came from the Nephilim. Right? Came from the, the watchers. They passed down this information. And in my opinion, it was a failsafe for them in order to inhabit those bodies that the alchemists were creating. So it makes full sense of like, hey, the Nephilim knew that they were going to be destroyed.

• 1:34:37Kurt Metzger?

  They've been making bodies the whole time for them.

• 1:34:40Speaker 06

  Exactly. So if you, if you take the UFO phenomenon with the cows and why the cows, uh, have missing organs and all these different things. Well, they, they have grown and cloned animals using cow, uh, uterus is if I'm not mistaken, like, or not uterus is, uh, uh, uh, how's it called? The part that makes the baby, that holds the baby.

• 1:35:02Kurt Metzger?

  Wum, a womb, yeah, a womb, a womb.

• 1:35:05Speaker 06

  Yeah. And the cow is also used in a lot of these occult rituals. So.

• 1:35:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Well, in the bail cycle, you ever read that?

• 1:35:12Speaker 06

  Worship cows.

• 1:35:13Kurt Metzger?

  Have you ever read the Baal cycle, the bail cycle where he Baal decides to, um, go fight death, but before he goes, he impregnates a cow in case he doesn't come back. And I was like, I'll bet you a cow is a human woman. How much you want to bet that a cow is actually a human woman and not a cow? But that's just, you know, ba- bail means master.

• 1:35:36Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up cattle mutilation?

• 1:35:39Kurt Metzger?

  Did you ever?

• 1:35:40Speaker 06

  Look up like Rosemary's Baby and you know, that whole movie, what that's about?

• 1:35:44Duncan Trussell?

  Great film.

• 1:35:44Speaker 06

  Um, I mean, it's a hundred percent like, and that guy Plancky was into some weird stuff.

• 1:35:49Duncan Trussell?

  Look at this shit like.

• 1:35:50Kurt Metzger?

  Your Plancky's a sack of shit dude. It's, it's very, uh,

• 1:35:53Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck is this?

• 1:35:54Speaker 02

  He's a good guy.

• 1:35:55Duncan Trussell?

  Great director. What the fuck is this stuff? Like, look at this.

• 1:35:58Speaker 02

  Misunderstood.

• 1:35:58Duncan Trussell?

  Like, so that, like, you look at it. No one's ever explained what this is. Happens, fucks farmers up.

• 1:36:04Kurt Metzger?

  Is that Oregon? Do you say Oregon or Oregon? I go Oregon.

• 1:36:10Duncan Trussell?

  Oregon.

• 1:36:11Kurt Metzger?

  Like Tarragon.

• 1:36:12Duncan Trussell?

  Oregon.

• 1:36:12Speaker 02

  Oregon too.

• 1:36:13Kurt Metzger?

  Um, it's Oregon, the number one, uh, state for bestiality and bestiality tourism, therefore.

• 1:36:19Duncan Trussell?

  But that's not beastie. That's, that's not bestiality.

• 1:36:22Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, I'd like to go to a gentleman zoo while I'm here.

• 1:36:26Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, uh, how much for a reverse?

• 1:36:28Duncan Trussell?

  It's the Orlando for dog fuckers.

• 1:36:30Speaker 02

  Can I get an original cow?

• 1:36:33Kurt Metzger?

  Oregon, that should be on their license plate. Yeah.

• 1:36:37Speaker 06

  This bestiality is part of these occult rituals. And in the Libra of A, I don't know if you read, I don't know if you read my favorite part that is very specific and one of the rituals, you're supposed to, hear me out, hear me out here.

• 1:36:51Speaker 06

  And I'm quoting, I'm quoting here. Okay. You're supposed to quote, take a big dog penis and incessantly beat the cow with it until its flesh is discolored and its bone is broken. That's directly from the Libra.

• 1:37:03Kurt Metzger?

  What kind of dog?

• 1:37:04Speaker 06

  Source.

• 1:37:04Duncan Trussell?

  That's a big dog.

• 1:37:05Speaker 06

  The biggest dog dick you can in order to, to do this ritual.

• 1:37:09Kurt Metzger?

  Does that have to be a, can it be a sculpture of a dog?

• 1:37:12Duncan Trussell?

  There's no way you could find a dog dick that big that you could bash a cow's head in.

• 1:37:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, well, wait, wait, wait, wait. What about with a dried cow dick stack?

• 1:37:20Speaker 06

  Penis black market is one of the biggest black markets.

• 1:37:24Kurt Metzger?

  There's, yeah.

• 1:37:25Speaker 06

  Ever.

• 1:37:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:37:26Duncan Trussell?

  Let's be serious.

• 1:37:27Kurt Metzger?

  No, you're right. A hundred percent. That is true. Don't ask me how I know.

• 1:37:31Duncan Trussell?

  Can we look at the, uh, the biggest dog and see if we can find a picture of its dick?

• 1:37:35Kurt Metzger?

  No, wait.

• 1:37:36Duncan Trussell?

  And then try to imagine beating a cow to death with it. It's not gonna happen.

• 1:37:39Kurt Metzger?

  Do they have a bone in their dick or is that?

• 1:37:41Speaker 06

  You don't, you don't know that?

• 1:37:41Kurt Metzger?

  A raccoon does.

• 1:37:42Speaker 02

  I think a raccoon does.

• 1:37:43Duncan Trussell?

  I, I don't know it, Juan. You're right. It's, it's, but I'm, I'm.

• 1:37:45Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, Mastiff, the heaviest and most, this is a very suspicious search to have done.

• 1:37:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. What's the heaviest dog dick?

• 1:37:53Kurt Metzger?

  Ten to 12 inches.

• 1:37:55Duncan Trussell?

  What's the weight of a?

• 1:37:56Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, there is nothing where, dude.

• 1:37:59Duncan Trussell?

  What's the weight of a Great Dane's penis?

• 1:38:00Speaker 06

  That's a maton.

• 1:38:01Duncan Trussell?

  But what's it?

• 1:38:03Kurt Metzger?

  No, that's horrific.

• 1:38:05Duncan Trussell?

  Great Dane's cock.

• 1:38:06Speaker 06

  You can do some damage with 12 inches.

• 1:38:08Duncan Trussell?

  What's the weight?

• 1:38:08Speaker 06

  Give me 12 inches.

• 1:38:10Duncan Trussell?

  I don't think you could kill a cow with it, with, with your dick.

• 1:38:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Is that a bet? Because.

• 1:38:15Speaker 06

  I didn't write that in the description. That's just what it says.

• 1:38:18Duncan Trussell?

  That's a bet. That is a fucking bet.

• 1:38:21Kurt Metzger?

  Donny, you want to back this bet?

• 1:38:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's bring in the cow. I get, and let's.

• 1:38:25Kurt Metzger?

  Ah, Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Just show it a picture and it'll die.

• 1:38:30Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, okay. That is a giant dog dick, but I don't, just don't think you need to beat a cow to death.

• 1:38:35Kurt Metzger?

  I don't think you need to go to that.

• 1:38:36Speaker 02

  Let's not go there.

• 1:38:38Duncan Trussell?

  You know what?

• 1:38:38Kurt Metzger?

  If Donny Rothschild don't want to see it, you know it's bad.

• 1:38:42Duncan Trussell?

  They have to use those fucking cattle guns.

• 1:38:44Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:38:47Duncan Trussell?

  It's, it's impressive, but you can't kill a cow with it. You could. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put a hole in your.

• 1:38:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Oh no.

• 1:38:55Speaker 06

  In 2022, Nigeria seized donkey penises to be smuggled to Hong Kong. And that was in 2022.

• 1:39:01Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. We gotta bring that article up immediately. Hold on. Bring that up immediately to.

• 1:39:07Duncan Trussell?

  Midnight Express, baby.

• 1:39:09Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on. 2020, when? When was this one?

• 1:39:12Duncan Trussell?

  Put it in the cooler, boys. We're going to Hong Kong.

• 1:39:15Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait. 2022. Okay. What, say the, say the headline again?

• 1:39:21Speaker 06

  Nigeria seized donkey penises to be smuggled, smuggled to Hong Kong.

• 1:39:26Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Oh my God. Okay.

• 1:39:29Duncan Trussell?

  Somebody's gotta do a movie about this.

• 1:39:32Kurt Metzger?

  This was a Jackie Chan movie, if I'm not mistaken.

• 1:39:35Speaker 02

  Did they walk it through TSA? Hey guys, yeah, these are just our donkey dicks.

• 1:39:39Kurt Metzger?

  This is the great, the plot of a great Steven Seagal money laundering picture. Hey brother, you got them donkey penises? I'm gonna smuggle them to Hong Kong.

• 1:39:49Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, Nigerian officials have seized thousands of donkey penises.

• 1:39:53Kurt Metzger?

  Where's the table with all the donkey penises? Like it's drugs.

• 1:39:56Duncan Trussell?

  That were about to be.

• 1:39:57Speaker 06

  They're standing behind it.

• 1:39:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:40:00Kurt Metzger?

  Where's the bricks of donkey penis for us to see their score?

• 1:40:03Speaker 02

  Wrapped up.

• 1:40:03Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, scroll up a little bit. I want to read that first paragraph.

• 1:40:06Kurt Metzger?

  Is that one of the cops?

• 1:40:08Duncan Trussell?

  Nigerian officials have seized thousands of donkey penises that were about to be exported to Hong Kong.

• 1:40:15Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, go to that picture. Look at, wait, hold on. Do you see what it says? A man on a donkey moves past government science secondary school where children were kidnapped. What?

• 1:40:26Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:40:28Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, Nigerian officials say they seized, okay, read that sentence. Am I fucking high?

• 1:40:33Duncan Trussell?

  What is going on in Nigeria? Can you zoom in on that?

• 1:40:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, zoom in because we have old eyes. Okay. What does that say?

• 1:40:39Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 1:40:39Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, a man on a donkey moves past government science secondary school where school children were kidnapped in Kinara, Nigeria, Nigerian officials say they have seized thousands of donkey penises. What's the connection?

• 1:40:54Speaker 02

  The kidnapping is the story.

• 1:40:55Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. We don't have the kids, but we do have these donkey penises.

• 1:40:58Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, hold on. Sacks of, sacks of the donkey male genitals were seized at the international airport in Lagos, Nigeria's largest city.

• 1:41:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:41:07Duncan Trussell?

  But why did they mention the kidnapping?

• 1:41:09Speaker 02

  That's why the guy's probably looking that direction.

• 1:41:11Kurt Metzger?

  Well, well, look what that says. Sacks of the, okay, wait, sacks of the donkey male genitals were seized at the international airport Lagos. The consignment was falsely declared as cow male genitals.

• 1:41:23Duncan Trussell?

  See, that's where they went wrong. You gotta be honest.

• 1:41:25Kurt Metzger?

  These are cow dicks. Well, I would, you could tell the difference. I gotta taste it. I can't tell otherwise.

• 1:41:30Speaker 02

  Also a hundred and sixteen thousand dollars worth of donkey dicks is pretty impressive.

• 1:41:35Speaker 06

  That's a lot of dick.

• 1:41:35Duncan Trussell?

  But can't, why can't you ship?

• 1:41:37Kurt Metzger?

  That's like what Saul commanded David to bring him, a sack of donkey dicks.

• 1:41:41Duncan Trussell?

  Why can't you ship the donkeys and just cut their dicks off when you get to Hong Kong?

• 1:41:45Speaker 02

  Do you think it's like cocaine?

• 1:41:46Kurt Metzger?

  It's a logistical nightmare. That's why.

• 1:41:48Speaker 02

  Do you think it's like cocaine where they taste it? They go, yeah, that's a good shit.

• 1:41:52Kurt Metzger?

  You tell me, Donny Rothschild.

• 1:41:53Speaker 02

  I've never, we've never dealt with donkey dicks.

• 1:41:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, sorry, guys.

• 1:41:57Duncan Trussell?

  That's pure donkey dick.

• 1:41:58Speaker 02

  Pure donkey dick right there.

• 1:41:59Kurt Metzger?

  What is it want? Go ahead.

• 1:42:02Speaker 06

  There, there are other animal, uh, you know, black market, you know, with, for their penises. And my, my suspicion is that the recipe for creating the homunculus has changed, right? To a certain extent. So you can use not just the, uh, dog penis. You can use a donkey dick.

• 1:42:17Kurt Metzger?

  That's part of the fun is doing your own recipe.

• 1:42:19Speaker 06

  Whatever sort of dick.

• 1:42:20Speaker 02

  Is there a ranking of the animal dicks?

• 1:42:22Duncan Trussell?

  What's best for the little guy?

• 1:42:25Speaker 06

  I think the walrus is the biggest one. So if you look up walrus dick bone, they used to use it as swords back then. The Eskimos used to use it as like clubs to.

• 1:42:32Kurt Metzger?

  What? You are an ex, the world's foremost expert and I will declare right now, based on that.

• 1:42:37Duncan Trussell?

  A hundred percent.

• 1:42:38Kurt Metzger?

  Based on that alone.

• 1:42:39Duncan Trussell?

  You must never stop coming on our show.

• 1:42:42Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, that came out wrong, Juan.

• 1:42:44Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up walrus?

• 1:42:45Speaker 06

  I will never stop coming. Uh, I don't ever.

• 1:42:47Kurt Metzger?

  We're not the dog tree.

• 1:42:49Duncan Trussell?

  Never stop gooning, baby. Can we pull up, can we pull up?

• 1:42:52Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on a minute.

• 1:42:53Duncan Trussell?

  Walrus dick sword?

• 1:42:55Kurt Metzger?

  Walrus baculum penis bone.

• 1:42:58Duncan Trussell?

  Damn, you're right. Look at that.

• 1:42:59Speaker 06

  That's very cool.

• 1:43:00Duncan Trussell?

  God. Wow. That's a walrus dick sword.

• 1:43:03Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's just a handle is walrus dick. I'd like to see.

• 1:43:06Duncan Trussell?

  No, I think the whole thing is.

• 1:43:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's all walrus dick.

• 1:43:08Kurt Metzger?

  What the fuck? Wait, oh, a baculum of a dog's penis. You just stabbed the cow in the heart.

• 1:43:13Duncan Trussell?

  There you go. So the baculum.

• 1:43:15Kurt Metzger?

  No, we're good. We could use dog penis.

• 1:43:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. As it turns out, Juan, you're right. You could beat a cow to death with a baculum.

• 1:43:22Speaker 06

  Oh yeah. Yeah, you could tech, you a hundred percent. And maybe they encoded it, right? Maybe they meant this. And you know, they just put in the dog penis to throw people off because they don't want everybody having access to this. Dude, imagine. Anybody to be able to talk to demons and summon. Yeah.

• 1:43:38Duncan Trussell?

  There were some confused farmers back then.

• 1:43:40Speaker 06

  For it.

• 1:43:41Duncan Trussell?

  There were some farmers who were like, what are you doing to my cow? Why are you hitting it with that dog dick?

• 1:43:47Speaker 02

  Dude, imagine dying via walrus dick. How do you go walrus dick?

• 1:43:51Kurt Metzger?

  That's uh.

• 1:43:52Duncan Trussell?

  That is insane.

• 1:43:53Kurt Metzger?

  I can't think of a more honorable death on this world.

• 1:43:56Duncan Trussell?

  Right? Yep.

• 1:43:58Kurt Metzger?

  I was beaten to death with a walrus dick.

• 1:44:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yep.

• 1:44:01Kurt Metzger?

  Come right this way, sir, to Abraham's bosom.

• 1:44:04Speaker 02

  Welcome to the pearly gates.

• 1:44:06Kurt Metzger?

  Because that is we, you just, because Peter goes, you just won me fifty thousand dollars. I'd have bet it would. That somebody would be killed with a walrus dick. Come right in.

• 1:44:19Speaker 02

  Thank you very much, my son.

• 1:44:21Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, man.

• 1:44:22Speaker 06

  And you could see as to why I'm not proud of my research because I've gone down.

• 1:44:27Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I, I, I knew it was gonna be interesting when you said I'm not proud of it. Because I would say researching any occult unless you're fucking crazy is like, I'm not proud of knowing this.

• 1:44:37Duncan Trussell?

  I think you should be proud. I think you presented, you're, you're basically the Neil deGrasse Tyson of the.

• 1:44:43Kurt Metzger?

  No, there's no prouder position than that.

• 1:44:49Kurt Metzger?

  Oh my God. What an honor. From the milkman.

• 1:44:58Kurt Metzger?

  You serve the Neil deGrasse Tyson of this.

• 1:45:04Kurt Metzger?

  We should have a deGrasse Tyson award. I trust Mike deGrasse Tyson more.

• 1:45:10Speaker 02

  That's a.

• 1:45:11Speaker 06

  I believe till this day, it's more like the moon child. And I think that they're still doing this sort of thing behind closed doors or more.

• 1:45:17Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, Red Rock, go to Red Rocks.

• 1:45:19Duncan Trussell?

  They are for sure. They're doing this. I mean, look at the brains that, that they're using, the brain organelles to, to, to, for AI. Like they're definitely doing this. This is wow. That's a great man.

• 1:45:31Speaker 06

  They're tortured to death. You know that they're like tortured to those little brain computers that they use their actual brain cells? They're tortured to death. Like they die from being used for their computational power.

• 1:45:43Duncan Trussell?

  Sure, of course.

• 1:45:43Speaker 06

  And again, that was the purpose of.

• 1:45:45Kurt Metzger?

  This is Rick and Morty. Fucking, that's terrible.

• 1:45:47Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up a brain organelle so everyone can see there. Brain organelle computer.

• 1:45:51Speaker 06

  Because part of the Libra vacay, right? So the Libra vacay gets into specifics on how to uh. Create these beings. And then the issue with the Libra vacay is that they're like, hey, if this thing is magic. What happens if I take its blood and I anoint my feet with it? Will I be able to walk on water? Or if I take its blood and I anoint my eyes with it, will I be able to see demons? So they're using the homunculus. At for superpowers essentially is what they're doing.

• 1:46:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I mean.

• 1:46:20Speaker 06

  Because it came from magic.

• 1:46:21Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up human brain computer playing Doom. They made these poor motherfuckers play Doom. Did you know that?

• 1:46:27Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I used to like that game.

• 1:46:28Duncan Trussell?

  It, yeah, but like imagine you spring into existence and you just live in the Doom world.

• 1:46:34Speaker 02

  That's actually.

• 1:46:34Kurt Metzger?

  That's kind of what the game is. You like.

• 1:46:37Duncan Trussell?

  Look, uh.

• 1:46:38Speaker 06

  If one big question unanswered, can it run Doom? In twenty twenty one, the world has introduced Dishbraid, where eight hundred thousand neurons learned to play pong.

• 1:46:46Kurt Metzger?

  They're still not, they still can't make life. This is the thing with, with the AIs like. You could, when you talk to you could see it's fucking soul. I'll bet you Obama's kill list, which was an early form of AI, by the way.

• 1:47:00Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean?

• 1:47:00Kurt Metzger?

  Obama had a kill list of all the terrorists. He loved to drive. Remember how we ran out of bombs because we blew up so many people during the Obama years?

• 1:47:07Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't know you ran out of bombs.

• 1:47:09Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we ran out of them from using them.

• 1:47:10Duncan Trussell?

  That's gotta be weird to be named Obama and you run out of bombs.

• 1:47:14Kurt Metzger?

  It's a, oh.

• 1:47:19Duncan Trussell?

  Embarrassing.

• 1:47:20Kurt Metzger?

  You would think it would be, wouldn't you? You'd think more people would have found that strange, but no.

• 1:47:25Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:25Kurt Metzger?

  Um, yeah, we, he went through our twenty six thousand bombs.

• 1:47:31Duncan Trussell?

  God, that's gotta suck.

• 1:47:33Kurt Metzger?

  Um, anyway, he had.

• 1:47:33Duncan Trussell?

  Like running out of fireworks.

• 1:47:34Kurt Metzger?

  He had a threat matrix they give him every day. And that's, uh, that's absolutely one of these language models. Of course it is.

• 1:47:40Duncan Trussell?

  Threat matrix.

• 1:47:41Kurt Metzger?

  They're always forty to sixty years ahead. I mean, now they gotta be, look.

• 1:47:45Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, hold on.

• 1:47:46Kurt Metzger?

  Standard, the government shit that they have is generally, and this is not like disputed by anyone. Forty to sixty years ahead of what the public has. So for example, they had laptops in the seventies.

• 1:47:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:58Kurt Metzger?

  They cost a lot to make. So that's why they had cell phones in the thirties. We didn't have infrastructure.

• 1:48:04Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:48:04Kurt Metzger?

  To make cell phone calls, but people think it's like time travelers, the chicks with those cell phones.

• 1:48:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:48:09Kurt Metzger?

  They're not time traveling. They had that shit.

• 1:48:12Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:48:12Kurt Metzger?

  But if I have better tech than you, I live in the future, don't I? So they fucking uh, uh. I forget why I was even going with this.

• 1:48:21Duncan Trussell?

  I know what, what you're like, I.

• 1:48:23Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta pee really bad.

• 1:48:24Duncan Trussell?

  The, you're, where you're, where you're, you were trying to go with the, they were using some kind of fucking.

• 1:48:28Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, Obama had this stupid fucking AI. That's probably better than the one we have now. And I'll bet you it wasn't that good. I'll bet you the hallucination problem.

• 1:48:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:48:37Kurt Metzger?

  Happened then, just based on the fact that they killed. So he, they were killing any military age man. So that means any boy of fifteen and up. You're dead. That's all those weddings. Then Trump changed it so that the army doesn't have to report who they killed anymore. That's your choices in the.

• 1:48:53Duncan Trussell?

  Right. But come on, pull up that time Obama.

• 1:48:56Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:48:56Duncan Trussell?

  Like, go ahead, Donny.

• 1:48:57Speaker 02

  What kind of questions were, was Obama asking the AI?

• 1:49:00Kurt Metzger?

  Who's the dirtiest muzzy on?

• 1:49:03Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:49:04Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, tell me which one of these sand you know whats I should blow up today.

• 1:49:09Duncan Trussell?

  What's a great joke to make about killing people with drones?

• 1:49:12Kurt Metzger?

  Goon off like he's in a Dollar Tree. Like some MILF.

• 1:49:16Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up, pull up the, the joke Obama made, uh, joke, like go on YouTube. He makes a joke. He's already killed accidentally. He's, he's, forget like the, the, the quote fifteen year old terrorist. He's out, they've already accidentally blown up like a wedding. Pull up the joke he made.

• 1:49:34Kurt Metzger?

  He also reversed Abius corpus. You know what that is? You could be arrested for anything and held forever with no charges. Like you live in Israel.

• 1:49:42Duncan Trussell?

  There it is. The time Barack Obama, wait.

• 1:49:46Duncan Trussell?

  It's you, uh.

• 1:49:47Kurt Metzger?

  What? He said, I'll drone you. I know you think this is a big deal, but honestly.

• 1:49:50Speaker 02

  Boys, don't get any ideas.

• 1:49:52Duncan Trussell?

  It wouldn't be a big deal if he hadn't actually killed people with drones.

• 1:49:55Kurt Metzger?

  Ever say, hey, if you come near any of my daughters and you're not a blood relative, I'll Jewish space laser you.

• 1:50:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:50:01Speaker 02

  He said it a couple of times.

• 1:50:02Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. I mean, I believe him.

• 1:50:05Speaker 04

  Brothers are here.

• 1:50:07Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the Jonas Brothers.

• 1:50:08Speaker 04

  Brothers are here.

• 1:50:11Duncan Trussell?

  He's already killed people.

• 1:50:14Speaker 04

  Sasha and Malia are huge fans.

• 1:50:16Kurt Metzger?

  They're a couple of sacrifices.

• 1:50:18Speaker 04

  But uh, boys don't get any ideas. I have two words for you. Predator drones.

• 1:50:24Speaker 02

  Donny.

• 1:50:25Speaker 04

  You will never see.

• 1:50:26Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, it's a good joke.

• 1:50:28Speaker 02

  It's a good joke.

• 1:50:29Kurt Metzger?

  You can't fucking say you would do that. Why do you think it's so bad?

• 1:50:32Speaker 02

  Also, you should be able to drone your enemies.

• 1:50:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, maybe I'm being a pussy, you guys.

• 1:50:35Kurt Metzger?

  You got, you're kind of being a fucking pussy, dude.

• 1:50:38Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry.

• 1:50:38Kurt Metzger?

  Also, um, he's like, Malia, my two precious homunculi that came out of Michelle, Michelle's butt.

• 1:50:47Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, will you show Lamb the Aleister Crowley alien butt upside down?

• 1:50:52Kurt Metzger?

  If you can flip it, you know, I want, because no, not Lamb, not Lamb.

• 1:50:56Duncan Trussell?

  No B.

• 1:50:58Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, you see that? The image? Can you make it upside down, please?

• 1:51:02Duncan Trussell?

  You did this on an earlier show and I didn't, and I acted like I knew what you, what it meant.

• 1:51:06Kurt Metzger?

  Now, but now, because Juan read all the Tracy Twine thing that he, dude, isn't it crazy if you read Tracy Twine and shit or just hear it where you're like, well, you gotta stop doing this right now, lady? It's crazy what you're doing.

• 1:51:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, her stuff was on, on another level and she was on to it. And I mean, she understood all of the stuff. But again, I think she flew too close to the sun and that tends to happen with a lot of people who.

• 1:51:31Duncan Trussell?

  Do you worry about that?

• 1:51:32Speaker 06

  It does drive you insane.

• 1:51:33Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, don't you worry? And I worry about Kurt too.

• 1:51:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:51:36Duncan Trussell?

  You guys get so into this shit in a kind of like, uh, yeah, in an oppositional way. But I really worry, in the sense that like your relationship with it, you study it, you're opposed to it philosophically, but.

• 1:51:49Kurt Metzger?

  I want to make fun of it.

• 1:51:50Duncan Trussell?

  Nonetheless, but you're engaging with it.

• 1:51:53Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:51:54Duncan Trussell?

  Don't you worry? Like I worry about Kurt. Now I'm worried about you. The more you, even if you think that you are studying it. And, and you're opposed to what it's saying.

• 1:52:04Kurt Metzger?

  From the milkman is what I was saying.

• 1:52:05Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a threat.

• 1:52:07Kurt Metzger?

  It sounds like a goddamn threat.

• 1:52:08Duncan Trussell?

  Doesn't make threats.

• 1:52:09Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, the things you've told me, listen, listen.

• 1:52:12Duncan Trussell?

  Doesn't make threats.

• 1:52:15Speaker 02

  The milkman's nice. The milkman just wants to milk you.

• 1:52:19Kurt Metzger?

  The stories you've told me, dude, okay, you know, you should tell Juan this story of like, will you say it on here? The thing about, um, the red shift and finding out early about telescopes?

• 1:52:29Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:52:30Kurt Metzger?

  Or no, should we, can you not talk?

• 1:52:31Duncan Trussell?

  Hold on, wait.

• 1:52:34Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, I can be very.

• 1:52:38Duncan Trussell?

  I probably can't.

• 1:52:40Duncan Trussell?

  I would have to ask them. I don't think I, I don't think I can.

• 1:52:43Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. Oh, thank you. So here, look at this. Look at that. Now, do you see that? It looks like that's a, a deformed baby coming out of a butt and there's a hairy.

• 1:52:51Duncan Trussell?

  Shit.

• 1:52:52Speaker 02

  That's actually a picture of me getting.

• 1:52:54Duncan Trussell?

  Get it. That's a butt baby.

• 1:52:55Kurt Metzger?

  That's young Donny off child.

• 1:52:57Speaker 02

  That was me getting born.

• 1:52:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, this is Juan. What we're looking at is the picture of Lamb, that stupid Aleister Crowley thing.

• 1:53:03Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my God, it's a butt baby.

• 1:53:06Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, yeah. So I didn't, somebody, yeah. Go ahead.

• 1:53:10Speaker 06

  In the book of the law, he talks about the child that I die bowels. You know, which was going to be this new Messiah. So they believe that this, and there are some religions that. Uh, well, there was one particular group of people that formed their goddess from their excrement.

• 1:53:26Kurt Metzger?

  Borberites?

• 1:53:27Speaker 06

  Uh, a lot of your. Do what?

• 1:53:29Kurt Metzger?

  Is it Borberites?

• 1:53:32Kurt Metzger?

  Who is it?

• 1:53:33Speaker 06

  I don't recall the name. It's like some obscure Indian group that they.

• 1:53:36Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:53:39Duncan Trussell?

  Can you wait? Can you go back to that? You can't, please take, keep it on the screen. And now flip it to the side horizontally.

• 1:53:46Kurt Metzger?

  Why? You think it was something better?

• 1:53:47Duncan Trussell?

  Looks like a fish.

• 1:53:51Kurt Metzger?

  Also, it's supposed to become an owl in some way, if you look at it, but upside down. Somebody, somebody tweeted this at me one time.

• 1:53:57Duncan Trussell?

  Look, look.

• 1:53:58Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:53:58Duncan Trussell?

  Looks like a, a fish.

• 1:54:00Kurt Metzger?

  What, how?

• 1:54:00Duncan Trussell?

  A guy, the eye.

• 1:54:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:54:03Duncan Trussell?

  A fish.

• 1:54:03Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, oh, yeah. It's like, it's, yeah.

• 1:54:06Speaker 02

  Little cow rectum, just letting a guy out.

• 1:54:09Kurt Metzger?

  See, I don't get, everybody says that's a gray alien, that guy, but the eyes are not big, black, weird eyes.

• 1:54:14Duncan Trussell?

  The, you know, but it's close enough that people who don't know this.

• 1:54:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, wait, Juan, have you heard this, that this lamb drawing is also supposed to be a drawing of some kind of Tibetan llama?

• 1:54:25Speaker 06

  So, they, they say that it's meant to be a sort of mandala where you're supposed to, uh, meditate on it and you're supposed to be able to go in to Lamb's head and see some other dimension, from what I've understood.

• 1:54:38Duncan Trussell?

  Can we zoom in on Lamb's head?

• 1:54:39Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 1:54:40Duncan Trussell?

  Pull it up and zoom on in.

• 1:54:41Kurt Metzger?

  Look deeply into my poop, Donny Rothschild.

• 1:54:46Kurt Metzger?

  I want to take you to a time, another time in place.

• 1:54:49Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, flip it up, flip it, flip it upside down the right way.

• 1:54:52Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I'll be right back.

• 1:54:56Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, um, do you, uh, but again, let me, let me ask the question I asked earlier. Don't you wor, like, you clearly are like deeply engaged with this stuff.

• 1:55:09Duncan Trussell?

  Have you had any negative repercussions from it that you had to sort of purify yourself from? Or do you have a, a ritual that you do before you engage with this stuff at all? To keep yourself safe?

• 1:55:21Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, I pray to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and I, uh, I, I had to take a year, I took a year off, a year and a half off, because I did, a lot of the stuff was getting to me.

• 1:55:32Duncan Trussell?

  What happened?

• 1:55:33Speaker 06

  I took a year off for, for, this is my mental health. And my, my life was crumbling away and I just wanted to learn more and more about the homunculus. And it's like, uh, I need to, like, fix my life. I have to take care of my family. And, you know, I just, I, I'd stay in my gooner cave for hours upon hours and just, uh,

• 1:55:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:55:52Speaker 06

  Just research homunculus nonstop. But, no, I, I've had people reach out to me, uh, stating that they, that they are homunculus. Um, I've had people reach out to me saying that they've created homunculus.

• 1:56:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:56:04Speaker 06

  And the thing is, I think that the occult is a front for intelligence, uh, as far as, and by intelligence, I mean like three-letter agencies. And I think that the occult, um,

• 1:56:13Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, what's a front for which? What's a front for which? You know what I mean? You think the, uh,

• 1:56:18Speaker 06

  Uh, well, it's, that, that's up for debate, because I think that they, what a better way to infiltrate the higher classes than implementing yourself and say, oh, you know, Freemasonic laws. You know, they always say like the, the higher people in society are Freemasonic, or they're part of these secret societies. So I think that they use the occult as a sort of way for that, as a way to, to penetrate, no pun intended, uh, these groups of people to get in their ear. And I think that that's how, if you look at, you know, John D, the, the original 007.

• 1:56:49Duncan Trussell?

  Respute.

• 1:56:49Speaker 06

  It was all about intelligence.

• 1:56:51Duncan Trussell?

  Respute.

• 1:56:52Speaker 06

  And encoding that intelligence. And what a better way to encode it than like, hey, if you interact with this text, you're gonna summon demons. Any regular person would be like, I'm not touching that. But meanwhile, they were encoding their secrets within these texts. So I think part of the occult is that, because if you look at it, I think that the dangerous knowledge is not knowing about how to make a homunculus. I think the dangerous knowledge comes from, again, like Tracy Tarman, looking into things you're not supposed to be looking into, walking into the wrong room at the wrong time and seeing somebody doing some heinous thing to somebody at the wrong time. I think that's the true occult knowledge that gets you killed. Not how to summon a homunculus, or how to create the philosopher's stone, I don't care about that.

• 1:57:30Duncan Trussell?

  Well, but, okay, but you, you, you mentioned a, a degradation to your mental health. And, you know, the, like, to, uh, it, you guys, you and, you and Metzger, you remind me of like Marie Curie or something, you know? Like, she doesn't quite understand what she's working with. She's working with radioactive material.

• 1:57:50Kurt Metzger?

  I just read somebody else that already did that work.

• 1:57:53Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:57:53Kurt Metzger?

  I just looked at other people's work that already did get involved.

• 1:57:56Duncan Trussell?

  I just, I think that accidentally, and maybe I'm being like a, a weird fundamentalist bitch here.

• 1:58:01Kurt Metzger?

  Are you allowed to talk about the other thing with that witch?

• 1:58:04Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:58:05Kurt Metzger?

  Fuck!

• 1:58:06Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, there's things I tell you I can't, I mean, and these aren't things like it's a secret, it's like, I just, I, I don't wanna like,

• 1:58:11Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, we have another podcast called Tell You After, and, uh,

• 1:58:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, we'll do that. That'll be on the Patreon. But, you know, Juan, to, to summarize, I feel like people like you and Kurt have a sense of protection, just because you're not invoking these things, but just the very contact with it, the very, like, um,

• 1:58:32Kurt Metzger?

  I've never contacted it.

• 1:58:34Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you, you have.

• 1:58:35Kurt Metzger?

  How?

• 1:58:36Duncan Trussell?

  You think you have it, you have.

• 1:58:37Kurt Metzger?

  Cause Donnie, you brought him.

• 1:58:38Duncan Trussell?

  You are more steeped in the occult than anyone I've ever met. And you know, a lot of the people I've met, I've never, and, and you guys think,

• 1:58:44Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, have I ever?

• 1:58:45Duncan Trussell?

  I worry about you, Captain.

• 1:58:47Kurt Metzger?

  Have I ever talked to you with an upside?

• 1:58:48Duncan Trussell?

  Captain, I worry about you.

• 1:58:49Kurt Metzger?

  Have I ever talked to you in a dream with an upside down butthole?

• 1:58:54Duncan Trussell?

  Not yet.

• 1:58:54Speaker 06

  It's a law of correspondence, when you're, you know, try, try this out, and you're gonna have some trippy ass dreams. If you, before going to bed, when you're really, really tired, open up a book of alchemical plates. And just look at them.

• 1:59:06Duncan Trussell?

  Exactly.

• 1:59:07Speaker 06

  Just browse through them, look at them, and then go to bed. And tell me that you're not gonna have the weirdest dreams you've ever had in your life. And I think that does interact with you on a certain level.

• 1:59:16Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's right, subconscious, so all that subconscious programming is a big part of it.

• 1:59:21Duncan Trussell?

  It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter if you think you're just studying it, it doesn't matter if you want to invoke the powers, it doesn't care. Just from interacting with it, it shifts your consciousness. And, and it's a, it's, it's hubris to think,

• 1:59:35Kurt Metzger?

  You know what else shifted my con, uh, my, uh, consciousness?

• 1:59:37Duncan Trussell?

  Gram gas?

• 1:59:39Kurt Metzger?

  A, a big, a few hits of gram gas is also all I need.

• 1:59:44Kurt Metzger?

  No, when, um, when they said, don't do your own research during COVID, I have held a grudge about that this whole time.

• 1:59:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that was fucked up.

• 1:59:52Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know what the fuck, to me, the fact that that just happened, somebody said, you should never do your own research. I read that in Forbes.

• 2:00:02Kurt Metzger?

  Just that alone should have been the, and, and the idea that I would, so, you know, like, a lot of things that elevate your consciousness are just little traumas, you know? They're not really spooky stories and campfire tales I read, they're all traumas. And, you know, I say, if you don't have them traumas yet, don't worry, you will. It's coming.

• 2:00:22Speaker 02

  I, I liked that Forbes article, I thought it was good.

• 2:00:24Kurt Metzger?

  To, why? Cause you don't do your own research?

• 2:00:26Speaker 02

  No, I, I just don't think everybody should know stuff.

• 2:00:28Duncan Trussell?

  You think only scientists, you think you need a certificate?

• 2:00:30Kurt Metzger?

  No, why should I not do my own research?

• 2:00:32Duncan Trussell?

  Why?

• 2:00:32Kurt Metzger?

  Cause I feel like Duncan was trying to say in a fancier way than you.

• 2:00:35Duncan Trussell?

  No, I was not.

• 2:00:35Speaker 02

  Because guys like you don't need to know everything.

• 2:00:38Kurt Metzger?

  What do you mean, guys like me, a qualified astronaut and sitting judge? A lifestyle judge?

• 2:00:43Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 2:00:44Duncan Trussell?

  He's a judge.

• 2:00:45Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:00:46Duncan Trussell?

  No, I wasn't saying, I wasn't saying that at all.

• 2:00:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, good one.

• 2:00:51Speaker 06

  I think it's important to, to research these things, to bring awareness to people, right? Cause like I said, there are a group of people who are probably trying to make a homunculus somewhere, like, hey, maybe you shouldn't be doing that because of X, Y, Z.

• 2:01:02Kurt Metzger?

  Do we have a number?

• 2:01:03Speaker 06

  And that's why I like to do the research.

• 2:01:04Kurt Metzger?

  We should have a hotline if you want to report somebody.

• 2:01:06Duncan Trussell?

  Report a homunculus?

• 2:01:08Kurt Metzger?

  I want to report to somebody I think's making a homunculus.

• 2:01:10Duncan Trussell?

  Amazing if there was an ice for homunculus.

• 2:01:11Kurt Metzger?

  I've seen a lot of socks disappearing from the wash.

• 2:01:15Duncan Trussell?

  You guys, I, this is why I'm being a, I, I guess I'm being a bitch about this.

• 2:01:19Kurt Metzger?

  A bit of a labubu about it.

• 2:01:20Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, I'll tell you why. I, you know, when I stopped fucking with this stuff, Juan, like, really, you know, I still have occult books laying around or whatever, but when I really stopped fucking with it, I had this, I went to this old used bookstore and I found, um, a grimoire. I don't remember the name of it, but I remember reading it and I remember looking at the sigils and being interested in it and maybe like even uttering some of the spells in there, just out of curiosity, thinking, this is bullshit, right?

• 2:01:48Kurt Metzger?

  But you, you did an Evil Dead, is what you're talking about.

• 2:01:50Duncan Trussell?

  I'll tell you what happened to me, this is what happened to me. And I know it's gonna make me sound batshit, but this was pretty much the end. I'm in a garbage apartment next to the Comedy Store.

• 2:01:59Kurt Metzger?

  Hmm.

• 2:02:00Duncan Trussell?

  And tiny little fucking apartment, and I'm, I'm walking out and I hear this whoop. And I recognize the sound, it's the sound when change hits the carpet. You know what that sound is like, right? I was way away from where that happened.

• 2:02:12Kurt Metzger?

  You're telling me money apportaged into your fucking apartment?

• 2:02:15Duncan Trussell?

  I know it sounds batshit.

• 2:02:17Kurt Metzger?

  No, I know about apportation.

• 2:02:19Duncan Trussell?

  I, I, a penny had landed on the floor.

• 2:02:22Kurt Metzger?

  You gotta get it out of the place.

• 2:02:23Duncan Trussell?

  And, and that was it for me, I'm like, fuck that, I don't want that, I'm, you know, I, I don't wanna, I, I'm, I don't want that. I, I, it freaked me out. Like, to me, before that, it was always just kind of a silly, you know, mythological folklore shit. And then after that, I realized like, oh, I'm just an idiot, fucking around with stuff I don't understand at all. And it seemed dangerous, or like it could drive you crazy. I mean, just telling the story makes you sound insane, that's why I worry about you guys.

• 2:02:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, but I don't, first of all, I would never engage in any of that shit.

• 2:02:58Duncan Trussell?

  But you're engaging with it, I'm not, you have to keep engaging with it or we have no show.

• 2:03:02Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, but, okay, I'm not doing, first of all, I don't do no fucking rituals.

• 2:03:07Speaker 02

  I'm worried, but keep doing it.

• 2:03:08Duncan Trussell?

  You have to keep doing it, but I'm worried about it.

• 2:03:09Kurt Metzger?

  Like, if I see a spell thing, I'm not gonna read it out loud, I'd have Tanner do it. The Libra, I didn't read the Libra, V K, Tanner read it.

• 2:03:18Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, that's true.

• 2:03:19Kurt Metzger?

  You have a buffer at all times, I mean, that's, that's basic Donny Rothschild.

• 2:03:23Speaker 02

  Tanner, how did you feel after reading it?

• 2:03:25Speaker 06

  Uh, pretty lit.

• 2:03:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, he felt a rat. He felt a,

• 2:03:29Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, have you ever had anything like that happen? Like, any weird shit from engaging with the materials?

• 2:03:36Speaker 06

  Oh, a hundred percent. I had, uh, I wouldn't call it poltergeist activity, but, uh, for a while, I was seeing like, uh, shadows in my peripheral vision. Um, you know, for a long time, like, I would see, I would, nah, I wouldn't see people, uh, but I would feel like there was somebody like walking up on me, and then when you turn, there's nobody there. But I'm, I said that on a podcast one time, and people said that that's kind of normal for a lot of people, especially nowadays, but again, I don't, I don't know, but I, I,

• 2:04:04Kurt Metzger?

  Is it?

• 2:04:05Speaker 06

  Once I stopped, uh, engaging with the material, it kind of went away. And, uh, I used to have really bad sleep paralysis as well.

• 2:04:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:04:13Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you're saying you looked at those plates and shit before you went to bed?

• 2:04:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, dude, because again, you'd be in the research, you know, looking at stuff.

• 2:04:21Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I did have one thing now that you say that.

• 2:04:23Duncan Trussell?

  And they're they're entrancing. You've had a thing like that happen to you?

• 2:04:26Kurt Metzger?

  I forgot about this, but maybe I said, I don't remember if I said it in another episode.

• 2:04:29Speaker 06

  They were mandalas. They were meant for that. So the alchemist would go into his drawings and do works in the drawing. Like the Rosicrucians, when they, you know, talk about the first verses in the book of John and how they would meditate upon those verses to enter the biblical text and interact with the biblical people.

• 2:04:47Kurt Metzger?

  Like that cartoon.

• 2:04:49Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up the seal of Archangel Michael. Pull up the seal of Michael.

• 2:04:53Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 2:04:54Duncan Trussell?

  Cause this is like, you know, I don't know, it's the safest one I could think of. I'm not gonna say Lesser Key of Solomon, but the seal of Archangel Michael, yeah. You know, these things are, there you go, that one. That one is right there. These are entrancing.

• 2:05:06Kurt Metzger?

  I never, I never.

• 2:05:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but you know, at first it just seems like nothing, but you look at it, it grabs your mind and it it's hypnotic. Like I'm telling you.

• 2:05:15Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I'll tell you what I did.

• 2:05:16Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 2:05:16Kurt Metzger?

  Wasn't nothing with this. These just look like the squiggles of something. But I fell asleep listening to Michael Michael Aquino explaining physics to some interviewer before, okay? And by the way, I understood what he was saying. I didn't mean to, but he's very like, his voice is very like.

• 2:05:36Kurt Metzger?

  It's just like, put you right out. So I fell asleep, listened to that asshole talk, okay? And I told you.

• 2:05:42Speaker 02

  It's the rhetoric, yeah.

• 2:05:43Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and um, but I did understand um, time and space much better.

• 2:05:49Kurt Metzger?

  But it was like, I had fucking dreamed about being on some subway and I see him and he goes like, like this and he turns like part lizard. I'm like, oh, I knew it. And then I go in the, in my house and there's a little uh, like a shadow man that looks like the Bic pen, you know, like a little circle head guy.

• 2:06:06Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:06:07Kurt Metzger?

  Who runs up, but in the shadow up the stairs. We didn't have stairs in the house, but it's a dream house. And I go, Jenna, he's in the house. I'm screaming like he's in the house. I go, cause I wanted to see it, that I'm not making it up. Anyway, that was the story when she was like, why were you screaming in your sleep? And then she realized I wasn't. In her dream, she heard me screaming Jenna, he's in the house. And then when she woke up, I was going Jenna, he's in the house. Like I was just barely saying it.

• 2:06:31Speaker 06

  You guys.

• 2:06:32Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck that. That's so creepy.

• 2:06:34Speaker 06

  You guys wanna learn, you guys wanna learn uh, some occult ritual to recall your dreams?

• 2:06:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 2:06:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:06:42Speaker 06

  Alright, so I've talked about this before. It's called the skull fuck method, okay?

• 2:06:46Kurt Metzger?

  Go to the local Dollar Tree.

• 2:06:50Speaker 06

  It works. It it works. I don't know why it works, but you're gonna have about ninety to ninety-five percent dream recollection, okay?

• 2:06:58Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 2:06:59Speaker 06

  If you do this. You need to do this, okay? So and this is, I'm being serious right now. So the purpose is to be able to recall your dreams up to a ninety-five percent recollection. So you're supposed to lay down, or you relax, and you put your arms to your sides, you put your arms, you know, like dead man pose and have your hands crossed. And you're supposed to, you know, when you start to uh, fall asleep or you stop feeling your limbs, but then your body starts to itch or something like that? You're supposed to ignore all of that until you stop feeling your your extremities. So you, until you stop feeling your your limbs and your legs and everything. And when you've lost all that sensation, you're gonna focus on your spine, okay?

• 2:07:39Speaker 06

  And you're gonna look at your spine, every single vertebrae individually by itself, okay? And you're gonna visualize like a current of energy going up your spine, up and down, up and down. And then when it reaches to the top, okay, when it reaches the bottom of your skull. You're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna envision it as the current, almost like a penis, okay? Going into the bottom of your skull, okay? And you're gonna, you're supposed to focus on that and concentrate.

• 2:08:10Kurt Metzger?

  This is the Jim Carrey method.

• 2:08:11Speaker 06

  In that visual, okay? And you hold that until you fall asleep.

• 2:08:16Duncan Trussell?

  Does it have to, does it have to be, does it have to be a penis?

• 2:08:21Kurt Metzger?

  Could it be a wall or a sword?

• 2:08:23Speaker 06

  You have, it can be, it can be a dog penis, it can be a donkey. I, I envision a key going into a hole.

• 2:08:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:08:29Speaker 06

  It it's a little less gay.

• 2:08:31Duncan Trussell?

  It's just, I'll envision a cock.

• 2:08:34Kurt Metzger?

  I remember my dreams, they were all really gay.

• 2:08:40Speaker 06

  Uh, yeah, you're supposed to remember your dreams up to ninety-five percent.

• 2:08:44Kurt Metzger?

  I was eating a banana with a spoon.

• 2:08:47Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, do you do?

• 2:08:52Speaker 06

  Very deep, very deep bow, yeah.

• 2:08:56Kurt Metzger?

  That means.

• 2:08:57Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, do you do this when you like, when you, in the morning or is this gonna like? How close to the dream you can't remember? Do you need to do this exercise?

• 2:09:07Speaker 06

  Uh, so try it for at least a couple of weeks and then you you should be able to start recollecting your dreams a little bit.

• 2:09:14Kurt Metzger?

  Do I do this before I drink my pee or after?

• 2:09:18Speaker 06

  No, no, so before, as you're falling asleep, you're supposed to do it.

• 2:09:23Kurt Metzger?

  Before I drink my alchemical gold? Somebody told me you gotta drink, dude, somebody fucking implored me and I, look, I'm, I'm not gonna try it. I'm just gonna say right now, I, I might be missing out on a world of uh.

• 2:09:36Duncan Trussell?

  Healing.

• 2:09:37Kurt Metzger?

  Of healing, but I, fine. I just, I'm not gonna try it.

• 2:09:41Duncan Trussell?

  Self-care.

• 2:09:42Kurt Metzger?

  Unless I'm like, I don't know, gonna die and then you get so thirsty, you know?

• 2:09:47Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, you have been.

• 2:09:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 2:09:49Duncan Trussell?

  Amazing.

• 2:09:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:09:51Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you so much for coming on the show. Do you all have any more questions for Juan? We should let him go, right?

• 2:09:55Speaker 02

  No, this was eye-opening. You uh, taught me a lot about myself and a lot about my family, Juan, and I appreciate you a lot.

• 2:10:02Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, Juan.

• 2:10:03Kurt Metzger?

  You gotta put it in Kabbalah terms for yourself and your family, Donnie.

• 2:10:07Speaker 02

  I'm not, I'm not proud of, I'm not.

• 2:10:09Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, man, I'm, so I'll, I'll, I'll hit you up for Dirk with Curb too, but um, Mark just told me he, he, you were available today, so I was like, holy shit, we're doing Mystery Boys right now.

• 2:10:18Duncan Trussell?

  Juan, you're amazing. You should be proud of your expertise. It's cool as fuck.

• 2:10:24Kurt Metzger?

  It's a.

• 2:10:27Kurt Metzger?

  It's, I wanted to know it.

• 2:10:28Speaker 06

  It's been a long and hard uh, career, so yeah, I'm, I'm happy you guys enjoyed it. And like I said, you can check out my podcast, One on One Podcast, I'm on YouTube, Spotify, Apple.

• 2:10:39Speaker 02

  Can I just say, that is such a silly, like.

• 2:10:41Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, don't cut off his plug. Say that again, Juan.

• 2:10:45Duncan Trussell?

  That's a Rothschild move.

• 2:10:46Speaker 06

  The One on One Podcast, available on all podcast platforms. Um, I've been doing it for five years now, so you can check that on there. I talk about the occult, the esoteric. And I mix in some comedy in there, you know, pass on with it, cause it's all.

• 2:10:59Duncan Trussell?

  And your website?

• 2:11:00Speaker 06

  Doom and gloom, you know, you gotta.

• 2:11:01Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, well, we're a hard news show, so.

• 2:11:05Speaker 06

  It's T J O J P dot com. You can find all my uh, I do zines and like little magazines on there. You can get those. I do have a homunculus pamphlet. It's thirty-three pages. It's the only homunculus comic book that exists. So if you guys send me your uh, info, I can send you guys some uh, some merch and stickers and stuff like that.

• 2:11:21Duncan Trussell?

  Awesome, Juan, thank you.

• 2:11:22Kurt Metzger?

  It is something of a homunculus itself, the comic.

• 2:11:24Duncan Trussell?

  Links down below. Connect with Juan. Thank you for teaching us about the homunculus, Juan.

• 2:11:32Speaker 06

  Thank you, guys. I appreciate it.

• 2:11:34Speaker 02

  Such a silly name for a podcast for such a.

• 2:11:37Kurt Metzger?

  Not like Mystery Boys, a good, harsh.

• 2:11:39Speaker 02

  Juan on Juan? Sounds like Cheech and Chong, kinda like a podcast.

• 2:11:42Duncan Trussell?

  I feel like, and I don't wanna get like paranoid here, but I do feel like you like were trying to do, like handle him or derail him or you don't want people looking at it.

• 2:11:50Speaker 02

  A little bit, I think. I, I realized I need to look back at some of my family stuff. I don't like everything he said about, oh, like we're horrific, we're evil.

• 2:12:00Kurt Metzger?

  You said that. He didn't.

• 2:12:01Speaker 02

  No, he said it, homogenous being, they're like, not good.

• 2:12:05Kurt Metzger?

  He just described a thing and then it would trigger you emotionally each time.

• 2:12:09Duncan Trussell?

  You said, what's wrong with being demonic?

• 2:12:11Kurt Metzger?

  No one called you demonic.

• 2:12:13Duncan Trussell?

  You, you said, no offense.

• 2:12:15Kurt Metzger?

  I thought you were of the Jewish faith.

• 2:12:16Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, don't get mad at me. You've done a lot for my family. I'm very grateful. Just forget it.

• 2:12:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:12:21Duncan Trussell?

  We'll cut that part out. We'll edit it out of the show.

• 2:12:23Kurt Metzger?

  Hey.

• 2:12:24Speaker 02

  I just think it was, he was a little, he was interesting, but he was a little fucked up.

• 2:12:30Speaker 02

  Let's just hope a space laser doesn't hit his house.

• 2:12:35Duncan Trussell?

  I know a way to like wrap this fucker up.

• 2:12:38Kurt Metzger?

  Making a homunculus?

• 2:12:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:12:42Duncan Trussell?

  Like, I like just like.

• 2:12:43Speaker 02

  Time to start coming inside ourselves, boys.

• 2:12:48Speaker 06

  Ooh.

• 2:12:49Duncan Trussell?

  You know, Donnie, I do.

• 2:12:50Kurt Metzger?

  I don't think that would be good.

• 2:12:51Duncan Trussell?

  Donnie, I appreciate you coming on this.

• 2:12:57Duncan Trussell?

  Donnie, I appreciate you coming on the show.

• 2:12:59Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 2:13:00Duncan Trussell?

  I hope that you don't feel offended. I know that-

• 2:13:02Speaker 02

  He was a lot, but I like him.

• 2:13:03Duncan Trussell?

  He's a great guy.

• 2:13:03Kurt Metzger?

  Is there any more Slam Frank numbers we could, uh-

• 2:13:06Duncan Trussell?

  But, you know, I, I do think it's important, you know, to help you plug something that you've been working on, which I think people on YouTube might be interested in. Can you tell the audience a little bit about Donny's World?

• 2:13:20Speaker 02

  So, uh, Donny's World is this, uh, this world we're creating where if you're feeling broke, you're feeling poor, you're feeling useless.

• 2:13:29Duncan Trussell?

  You mean feeling. It's not a feeling. Like if you're-

• 2:13:30Speaker 02

  You are. You are all those things.

• 2:13:32Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 2:13:33Speaker 02

  We are going to melt you down, um, but we're gonna use your conscience.

• 2:13:37Kurt Metzger?

  Is that it?

• 2:13:38Speaker 02

  And we're going to, we're gonna send you into this beautiful world called Donny's World where everybody's equal, everybody's fun, everybody's the same. But the thing is, the later you sign up for Donny's World, the darker your skin gets and you don't want to be a dark yellow in Donny's World.

• 2:13:53Kurt Metzger?

  A dark yellow?

• 2:13:54Duncan Trussell?

  What do you mean? You're not people in there?

• 2:13:56Speaker 02

  You're people, but you get the shitty jobs.

• 2:13:58Duncan Trussell?

  You know what? Play the-

• 2:13:59Kurt Metzger?

  The guy be this dark is Kouti- Koutia Diop, the model, who looks frankly, if I'm being honest, like she's doing, uh, blackface.

• 2:14:07Duncan Trussell?

  She's beautiful.

• 2:14:08Speaker 02

  She's beautiful.

• 2:14:08Duncan Trussell?

  Can we play the Donny's World promo?

• 2:14:11Kurt Metzger?

  That, okay, I'm talking about the one right up all the way on the left there, people.com. You tell me that's not like that movie Richard Dreyfuss. So he's, she's pulling a Krippendorf's tribe on us?

• 2:14:22Duncan Trussell?

  Are you saying that's not her, that's like actual makeup?

• 2:14:25Kurt Metzger?

  What does it look like to you?

• 2:14:28Duncan Trussell?

  Very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark.

• 2:14:32Speaker 02

  It's like a chimney sweep.

• 2:14:33Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, like, uh, it looks like Schwartz, Peter?

• 2:14:36Duncan Trussell?

  It's dark. I mean, it's like that-

• 2:14:39Kurt Metzger?

  You, listen, people aren't grape, okay? Uh, uh, it looks like a bad costume.

• 2:14:45Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:14:48Speaker 02

  Huh, huh.

• 2:14:49Duncan Trussell?

  Well, let's play the-

• 2:14:50Kurt Metzger?

  No, everybody, look, all the other pictures, there's no question that those are real people. I'm just saying that one, no, I, that, that just looks like an extra from, um, uh, Empire. Okay. Uh, yeah, no, I'm, I don't have a question about anybody else.

• 2:15:06Duncan Trussell?

  Let's play Donnie, the Donny World promo.

• 2:15:09Kurt Metzger?

  Is this, is this Donny's World? Is this what I'm to look for?

• 2:15:11Duncan Trussell?

  No, play the Donnie, fucking play the promo!

• 2:15:13Speaker 02

  Ready?

• 2:15:15Speaker 03

  Let's go!

• 2:15:16Speaker 02

  I know.

• 2:15:19Duncan Trussell?

  So that's the chamber?

• 2:15:20Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:15:21Kurt Metzger?

  That's a good goon cave.

• 2:15:24Kurt Metzger?

  Look at that. And then it-

• 2:15:26Speaker 02

  So you're-

• 2:15:27Kurt Metzger?

  What is that?

• 2:15:28Speaker 02

  Everything's dripping out?

• 2:15:30Kurt Metzger?

  I don't think that's good.

• 2:15:36Duncan Trussell?

  That's what you turn people into?

• 2:15:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. Look how fun everybody's having.

• 2:15:40Kurt Metzger?

  In Minecraft?

• 2:15:43Duncan Trussell?

  Looks like Minecraft.

• 2:15:44Speaker 02

  That could be your house.

• 2:15:49Kurt Metzger?

  How's this different from just the New World Order in general?

• 2:15:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, but we can fully control this. This is-

• 2:15:55Kurt Metzger?

  You know, I mean, your family, um, I mean, I know you're not the top guy of your family, so it sounds like, I'm just saying, this kind of smacks of the runt of the litter trying to start his own thing on the side. I'm not opposed, obviously, to a virtual-

• 2:16:08Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pause it for a second?

• 2:16:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 2:16:09Duncan Trussell?

  I think that's a fair criticism and it's worth getting an answer from Donnie. Can you say that again?

• 2:16:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, now, of course, we all want to be in a Rothschild-based virtual reality that, that looks like Minecraft, obviously, but you're not the top Rothschild. And I think you're going off-road with your own side piece thing. I bet there's some family inter, uh, dispute, fucking Game of Thrones bullshit.

• 2:16:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, come on.

• 2:16:31Kurt Metzger?

  And, um, where, I want to talk some other Rothschilds before I commit to this. I'm just gonna say that upfront.

• 2:16:36Duncan Trussell?

  Why? Wait, are, wait, I never-

• 2:16:38Kurt Metzger?

  This Rothschild, the one, yeah. David Mayer, D Rothschild.

• 2:16:41Speaker 02

  He's in the line.

• 2:16:42Duncan Trussell?

  So you're, you're-

• 2:16:43Kurt Metzger?

  Really? He's so dreamy.

• 2:16:44Duncan Trussell?

  Your family isn't in the Donny World?

• 2:16:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 2:16:46Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, so, wait.

• 2:16:47Kurt Metzger?

  What about Rothschild World? I'd go there. I've heard of them.

• 2:16:50Duncan Trussell?

  Why didn't you do Rothschild World?

• 2:16:52Speaker 02

  It's me. I created it. This is my idea.

• 2:16:54Kurt Metzger?

  You're like the Chad Hayes-

• 2:16:55Speaker 02

  I've been, yeah, I'm the Chad Hanks of the Rothschilds.

• 2:16:58Kurt Metzger?

  Of the Rothschilds.

• 2:16:59Speaker 02

  And, yeah, I wanted to prove to them that I'm actually the smartest Rothschild and I'm actually gonna create Donny's World and they're not invited. They won't be in it. They're, yeah, they can stay away from it.

• 2:17:09Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that could be a selling point, honestly, on its own, if you want to try so, I mean, I could see a way of marketing this. Hey, do you not like the regular Rothschilds? You know, you don't know Donnie.

• 2:17:18Speaker 02

  I'm the cool hip Rothschild.

• 2:17:19Duncan Trussell?

  People love Chad Hanks.

• 2:17:20Speaker 02

  People love Chad Hanks. He's, he's signing up for Donny's World.

• 2:17:24Duncan Trussell?

  Really?

• 2:17:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's gonna be the musical entertainment at Donnie's-

• 2:17:27Kurt Metzger?

  Do you like Herschel?

• 2:17:28Duncan Trussell?

  Wow. Wow.

• 2:17:29Kurt Metzger?

  That's Herschel.

• 2:17:31Speaker 02

  Herschel, he's, he's a nice guy.

• 2:17:33Kurt Metzger?

  That's the name of the white man on the Cracker Barrel sign.

• 2:17:36Duncan Trussell?

  Is that true?

• 2:17:36Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Herschel. Herschel Rothschilds, that guy from the Cracker Barrel.

• 2:17:40Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, no shit.

• 2:17:41Kurt Metzger?

  Did you know that, buddy?

• 2:17:42Duncan Trussell?

  Was that your uncle, Donnie?

• 2:17:43Kurt Metzger?

  That's your Uncle Herschel's on the sign!

• 2:17:46Speaker 02

  I like Herschel.

• 2:17:47Duncan Trussell?

  He seems fun.

• 2:17:48Speaker 02

  He's a good cook.

• 2:17:49Kurt Metzger?

  Why don't you tell your Uncle Herschel about your virtual world you're making?

• 2:17:52Duncan Trussell?

  I guess finish the promo?

• 2:17:56Kurt Metzger?

  Why don't you tell him all about it?

• 2:18:01Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the video will tell us.

• 2:18:06Kurt Metzger?

  So there's gonna be-

• 2:18:10Speaker 02

  That's everybody.

• 2:18:11Kurt Metzger?

  What's the darker color they're gonna be?

• 2:18:13Duncan Trussell?

  Those are people.

• 2:18:15Speaker 02

  Those are humans.

• 2:18:16Kurt Metzger?

  Can I see what the darker version looks like? Cause I might like that version.

• 2:18:21Speaker 02

  No, you, but those people are gonna, so if you're darker yellow, you are not living in a castle, you're living in a, a slo- you're taking care of people.

• 2:18:30Kurt Metzger?

  It's like a spicy brown mustard is not gonna cut it here.

• 2:18:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:18:33Kurt Metzger?

  This is French's only.

• 2:18:35Speaker 02

  Look, you're flying with birds.

• 2:18:37Kurt Metzger?

  Now, oh, there we go. It's like, where's the bottom part? Where's the penis of that Star of Jeffrey?

• 2:18:45Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, Donnie, that, uh, I didn't even know we had the technology to do consciousness, consciousness uploads.

• 2:18:51Speaker 02

  Of cour- yeah, we do. We're, uh, we're figuring it out. Uh, we tried a couple of test runs. Those people, uh, unfortunately passed away, but we're, we're working on a couple of kinks and, yeah.

• 2:19:02Kurt Metzger?

  Look, we've all seen-

• 2:19:03Speaker 02

  We'll be up and running hopefully in the next six months.

• 2:19:05Kurt Metzger?

  We've all hopefully seen one of the Chucky movies.

• 2:19:08Duncan Trussell?

  Are you kidding? I love Chucky. He'll get you too.

• 2:19:10Speaker 02

  And honestly, I would like, uh, Mystery Boys-

• 2:19:12Duncan Trussell?

  He'll get you.

• 2:19:13Speaker 02

  I would love to offer Mystery Boys as the key sponsor of Donny's World.

• 2:19:16Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 2:19:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, the number one podcast of Donny World and-

• 2:19:19Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, we're sponsoring your thing?

• 2:19:21Speaker 02

  No, no, no, you're in it. We will, will, like, melt your mind into Donny's World, yeah.

• 2:19:25Duncan Trussell?

  I, I don't know about that, man. I got kids.

• 2:19:27Speaker 02

  We'll talk. We'll talk. We can talk. We can bring in the kids.

• 2:19:30Duncan Trussell?

  Well, shit. Thank you so much for coming on the show, Donnie.

• 2:19:33Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I just got word that Popcorn the Mystery Dog is growling at his own reflection in the car bumper, right?

• 2:19:38Duncan Trussell?

  That's what I told you. Don't fuck with that shit. Don't fuck with that shit. That's from your metal-

• 2:19:44Kurt Metzger?

  Hold on, there's word on, uh, fucking Popcorn. He's growling at his own reflection right now. It's a small head, small brain.

• 2:19:51Duncan Trussell?

  And what better symbol for this episode? Growling at your own reflection. I feel like we've learned a lot today.

• 2:19:57Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:19:57Duncan Trussell?

  We've taken a journey together. Any last words?

• 2:20:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the Milkman drops off a, Homunculus at your door. You remember the guy, Bono from U2, when they forced that album into your phone?

• 2:20:08Duncan Trussell?

  One of the best days of my life.

• 2:20:15Kurt Metzger?

  These album covers are amazing.

• 2:20:17Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:18Kurt Metzger?

  Carpet Doug and the Milkman.

• 2:20:20Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know about the price tag.

• 2:20:24Kurt Metzger?

  How did, and I do play stand-up bass. That is what Carpet Doug.

• 2:20:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 2:20:28Kurt Metzger?

  I get nasty on stand-up bass.

• 2:20:30Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck yeah, you do. Fuck yeah, you do. Nothing, uh, nothing like it.

• 2:20:37Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, we're gonna force this onto Android's phones across, uh-

• 2:20:41Duncan Trussell?

  I don't think you gotta force it.

• 2:20:42Kurt Metzger?

  Like, leave it a, a pint of milk at your door, as Bono said.

• 2:20:46Duncan Trussell?

  Now, people are gonna-

• 2:20:47Kurt Metzger?

  Like, leave it a homunculus at your door that we made with cow shit and human semen.

• 2:20:53Duncan Trussell?

  Well, friends, why don't you download Carpet Doug and the Milkman? It's available now on Spotify. If you're poor and you wanna, wanna go somewhere, great. Pretty soon you can go to Donny's World.

• 2:21:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:21:06Kurt Metzger?

  Look how good these, uh, albums are from-

• 2:21:08Duncan Trussell?

  Fucking incredible. I don't know how you guys do that. I know it's not AI.

• 2:21:14Speaker 02

  There's a guy back there working on-

• 2:21:15Kurt Metzger?

  Finding old albums that I made. I don't remember.

• 2:21:19Duncan Trussell?

  Amazing. Thanks for not using AI, guys. Thanks for hiring an artist to do that.

• 2:21:26Kurt Metzger?

  The fastest artist in the world.

• 2:21:33Duncan Trussell?

  Fathers and sons.

• 2:21:35Kurt Metzger?

  Oh.

• 2:21:36Duncan Trussell?

  So it's K-pop.

• 2:21:48Duncan Trussell?

  Well, shit. I guess we should wrap it up.

• 2:21:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, um, oh, yeah, we should wrap it up so I can promote my shows.

• 2:21:56Duncan Trussell?

  All the links you need to find, Donny Rothschild will be down below.

• 2:21:59Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 2:22:00Duncan Trussell?

  Donnie's, uh, stage name is Tony. You might see links and be confused. Just click on the fucking link.

• 2:22:06Kurt Metzger?

  It's not confusing. His name is Donnie, but he goes by Tony.

• 2:22:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:22:10Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh, I, I get it. Hey, you're talking to Carpet Doug.

• 2:22:16Kurt Metzger?

  Or Carpet Dan. What's my name?

• 2:22:18Duncan Trussell?

  Carpet Doug and the Milkman.

• 2:22:26Kurt Metzger?

  Will you please text me my album cover that you found?

• 2:22:35Kurt Metzger?

  I spelled my name D U G. That's a-

• 2:22:39Duncan Trussell?

  Carpet Doug.

• 2:22:41Kurt Metzger?

  You dig it? I dug.

• 2:22:43Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, Carpet Doug. That Carpet Doug.

• 2:22:47Kurt Metzger?

  Everybody knows I spelled my name very uniquely.

• 2:22:51Speaker 02

  I'm Carpet Doug.

• 2:22:55Speaker 02

  Man.

• 2:22:57Speaker 02

  My carpets may, may be dirty, but this bassline, oof, it's clean.

• 2:23:02Kurt Metzger?

  Does the comment match it, grapes?

• 2:23:05Duncan Trussell?

  Is that a homunculus or an ape?

• 2:23:13Kurt Metzger?

  I play a weird microtonal bass like that Montreal band.

• 2:23:19Duncan Trussell?

  You know, I love your riff on Butt Baby that we did. That is fucking insane.

• 2:23:24Kurt Metzger?

  Was it?

• 2:23:26Duncan Trussell?

  I can't do it. I don't do it.

• 2:23:28Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the song Butt Baby. I thought we were gonna go with a more classy, like in French. Mignon. It means cutie.

• 2:23:37Duncan Trussell?

  Butt mignon. Sounds worse.

• 2:23:41Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, we gotta wrap it up. God bless y'all. Thank you for tuning in. Subscribe to our Patreon. Go to Donny's World. Visit, uh, listen to Juan's podcast. Listen to Derp with Kerp. Listen to the DTFH and most importantly, listen to your wife. She loves you so much, but you're fucking up.

• 2:24:25Speaker 07

  You.