Wedding Planner to the Uber Rich (w/ Stef Cove)

Elite wedding planner Stef Cove joins Haley to discuss the wildest things she's seen as a wedding planner, what $10 million wedding budgets are actually spent on, her advice to brides planning smaller budget weddings, and more! Financial Tea with Mrs. Dow Jones is a Sony Music Entertainment production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts and follow us at @sonypodcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The other day I was going through my desk and I found a journal right from when I graduated and it had pen and paper, how much I spent each day. At this time, I think I was making around forty thousand dollars and access cash flow was pretty tight. So I had to watch every penny. I think about how far we've come with technology and advancements to help us with this stuff. We don't need a journal with pen and paper anymore. The answers are out there and Monarch is one of those answers. Monarch is literally, it's like having a financial advisor in your pocket. So you can use AI to help see what you're spending. Monarch will help you have full visibility in your accounts. It will help you see your trends. It will help you set goals, map out big purchases.

• 0:45Speaker 00

  See if you're actually on track to where you wanted to be. You can ask Monarch's AI assistant anything about your finances. Like, hey, how much should I spend on travel last summer? Can I afford this vacation without touching my savings? You can spot things you wouldn't think about before, like, oh, hey, has my spending gone up or just inflation? I was using pen and paper. Now you can use tools, like a full financial advisor in your pocket and that's called Monarch. So what you want to do is you want to go to monarch.com, use code trading. The first year of Monarch Core is half off at just fifty bucks. That's fifty percent off your first year. Just go to monarch.com with code trading.

• 1:29Haley Sacks?

  Okay, we all love to romanticize being your own boss, but even when you have a team, you still end up being the bookkeeper, the marketing department, and the person rearranging appointments at eleven PM. And that work isn't just annoying, it is expensive. And it's especially taxing for businesses that run on appointments. So if you own a business that takes bookings, this one's for you. Gloss Genius is the system that runs the operations for you behind the scenes. Scheduling, payments, admin handled automatically. Payment processing is a flat rate with zero hidden fees. And check out Rebook's clients on the spot. Clients can book in seconds too, so there's no login or separate app.

• 2:10Haley Sacks?

  Necessary. So you actually get more appointments. 125,000 businesses already trust Gloss Genius to earn them more and save them time. Want to try it out for yourself? Go to glossgenius.com and use code FINANCIAL for 50% off your first two months of a premium plan.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  But if you are going to bring in Elton John,

• 2:33Speaker 02

  I'm not

• 2:33Haley Sacks?

  Have you seen that?

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not going to, you know, take a commission on him, but I am going to take a commission on that little piano getting in because that's a lot of time and effort and, you know, not easy.

• 2:48Haley Sacks?

  This is Financial Tea.

• 2:52Haley Sacks?

  What's up sippers? Welcome back to Financial Tea, the podcast where I teach you how to build wealth with a side of a market drama, money scandals, and of course, financial pop culture. Today you are in for a treat. I have Steph Cove here. She is an elite wedding planner to the uber rich. She's a dear friend of mine and we are so lucky to have her on the Financial Tea Podcast right as we are starting wedding season to give us the tea on wedding finances of the super rich and also just of normal people. So Steph, welcome to the Financial Tea.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.

• 3:29Haley Sacks?

  We're gonna have the best time. But first, let's get into the MDJ Market Report. Okay, what's up sippers? Welcome back to the MDJ Market Report. This is a Taylor Swift wedding themed edition. I've got three spicy hot stories just for you. The first is about prediction markets because $2 million has been wagered so far just on Taylor Swift's wedding on Calci. People are putting so much money trying to predict what is going to happen this weekend. My prediction is that they are going to do a smaller ceremony, like a really intimate ceremony, maybe the night before. And then they're going to have a huge party with so many people and that's going to be like a full concert and crazy. There's also all these predictions about like,

• 4:13Haley Sacks?

  who's going to be her bridesmaids? There's like 92% on the redhead named Abigail being her bridesmaid, which is like, duh, that's the easiest wager I've ever made. And then there's all these bets about if Blake Lively will be there. Like 75% of people think that she won't be there. I think she definitely will be there. Because I don't think that Taylor would have written a song. Like with the lyrics being like, good things I like, my friends canceled. If she was very serious about actually never being friends with Blake Lively again. But as you can see from like me just having fun talking about this, like it is really fun to predict things. And now that we have these prediction markets, you can actually put money behind the bets, which is very dangerous and obviously not something as a financial expert that I condone.

• 4:57Haley Sacks?

  Like do not use prediction markets, but I will say like, I understand why the Taylor Swift wedding prediction market is popping off so much though, because she has basically trained us to be predictors as Swifties for her whole career. Like her whole career is based off of Easter eggs and what color is her nail polish? And did she change that lyric on purpose? And she's had us read into her career moves and her life this entire time. And so it's just crazy now that you can like actually put money behind it, but also you guys are too smart for that. And I will just say like, all of the data shows that you will lose money if you do the prediction apps.

• 5:39Haley Sacks?

  They're definitely evil and not something that you want to be using, but also it is fun to make predictions about the wedding and I hope the mind come true. Okay. Our next story is about Taylor Swift's prenup, which is obviously ironclad. From what I've read, nothing official has been released. Her dad orchestrated the whole thing and the terms and conditions are basically like she keeps everything. Everything is really separate. All of the assets are separate, her name, her business, everything she's built. What I like the most about this is that it sounds like Travis just signed it without really like no questions asked. And I just love the idea that like a prenup is normalized and also that we have so many women getting married right now who are richer than

• 6:20Haley Sacks?

  the man. We've got Taylor Swift walking down the aisle. We've got D'Luca. Like these are rich, self-made women. And I love that they are in these amazing relationships, but also are smart enough financially to know that you have to protect yourself and you have to protect what you built. And that goes for even people who don't have $2 billion. You should also get a prenup. And the reason that I say this is yes, you want to protect. 401k and anything that you're going in with, but also because it is a moment for you to be super transparent about your finances before you walk down the aisle, which you guys would be shocked at how few people do. So yeah, I just think with prenups, it's like what you've built is

• 7:01Haley Sacks?

  worth protecting at every level, which brings me to my third and most important story today. And it has a little bit of advice for Taylor, but also for you and for me, which is do not change your last name if you get married. And this really applies to like every woman listening to this podcast right now. This is very serious. There is this bill in Washington right now called the SAVE Act. And on paper, it sounds really simple, like it just requires proof of citizenship to register to vote, but the fine print around it is a bureaucratic nightmare that is basically designed to squeeze women. Because under this act, a standard driver's license or real ID will

• 7:43Haley Sacks?

  not cut it in most states if you want to vote. You would have to prove your citizenship in person using a passport or a birth certificate. An estimated 69 million American women have a birth certificate that doesn't match their current legal name because they took their husband's name. So like if your birth certificate says one name and your ID says another, a driver's license isn't going to cut it. You're going to have to track down your marriage licenses. You're going to have to pay legal fees. You're going to have to jump through all of these bureaucratic hoops just to keep your ability to vote, which is so scary. So this is a huge tax on getting married.

• 8:26Haley Sacks?

  And it is being paid almost entirely by women. And it is a really good reason to not change your last name. I feel like I'm in Handmaid's Tale as I talk about this, but I just like want you to know because it's scary. What's also crazy is that Trump just canceled a signing ceremony for this bipartisan Housing Affordability Act, which like would have been amazing because obviously as Gen Z and millennials, we can't afford houses. This would have helped with that, but he's Holding that bill hostage until Senate passes the SAVE Act. We're basically getting hit twice. Like this housing bill that would have made it way cheaper

• 9:05Haley Sacks?

  for us to own single family homes is staying blocked until the voter bill passes to unlock it. So our rights have never felt more perilous. And I know that having money won't fix this like very broken political system, but I will say that financial power does give you autonomy when the rules try to squeeze you out. So please protect your name, protect your assets. These are your ultimate leverage. Don't ever give them up. Love is amazing. It's so great to make a family with someone and build a life, but we also have to be smart about that and protect ourselves. Let's get into our amazing conversation with Steph Cove, the richest wedding planner of

• 9:49Haley Sacks?

  all time. Like this woman really is operating on another planet. She is so talented. She does the most incredible weddings and she gave us a lot of tea on the industry and how to just rocket this wedding season. So let's jump in.

• 10:06Haley Sacks?

  I like to always start the show with some rapid fire questions. So first of all, what gives you the financial ick? And these can be wedding flavored. So what gives you the wedding financial ick?

• 10:16Speaker 02

  When I walk into a wedding that just looks like overspent money.

• 10:22Haley Sacks?

  I saw one yesterday.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  On Instagram.

• 10:25Haley Sacks?

  Well, my parents were at it and it was like, there was no taste, but there was so much money.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Just stuff everywhere.

• 10:31Haley Sacks?

  Yeah, like so. And too many flowers. Like the limit does exist.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, that gives me the ick.

• 10:37Haley Sacks?

  What do you think are the best and worst purchase that people can make on a wedding?

• 10:41Speaker 02

  I think entertainment is one of the best.

• 10:45Haley Sacks?

  Oh, really? Like a great band?

• 10:46Speaker 02

  Yes. I think music is so important to a wedding and I think.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  You know, overdoing it with like the activities or too much like cheesy custom stuff is the worst.

• 11:00Haley Sacks?

  Yeah. When I was going to bat mitzvahs, there were so many activities.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  We don't need a shirt screening, like, yeah, station or hats, you know, being embroidered.

• 11:09Haley Sacks?

  We don't need hats being embroidered. No, we're adults.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:12Haley Sacks?

  So just to orient our listeners, can you tell us a little bit about your business? The kind of weddings that you do? Like, what's the range of budget for the kind of weddings that you plan?

• 11:22Speaker 02

  So we do high end, full planning, full design, full production. So we literally do every little thing that our clients need. In regards to range, you know, it really depends what they're wanting to do. I haven't seen a wedding under a million dollars in a long while. But we're also doing a lot of build outs and making tents in the middle of fields and flooring in, you know, next to the ocean and things like that. So we're not just talking ballrooms.

• 11:57Haley Sacks?

  What's the most that anyone's ever spent on a wedding with you?

• 12:01Speaker 02

  I'm not going to answer that, but I will say 10 plus.

• 12:04Haley Sacks?

  And how did you allocate that budget?

• 12:05Speaker 02

  You know, it's less about it feeling over the top. And when, you know, we do those kind of weddings, it's not that anyone would even notice that. It's more about the experience and making sure there's what those guests need. If the, you know, if you're not in a structure, you need bathrooms, you need florings, you need power, you need, you know, restrooms everywhere. So weddings can add up in different ways. I think, you know, what matters to me is less how much money they're spending, but more that what we're spending is on things like the experience and like making it tasteful and understated and not feeling like a production, even though obviously to do these things, it is a production.

• 12:48Haley Sacks?

  I've seen you on action, like you have a little headset, like you've got like boots on the ground, like you know what's happening, but it's like you make it feel very effortless.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Which is exactly what I want.

• 12:59Haley Sacks?

  Yeah. So your whole thing is like tasteful elegance. So you're planning all these weddings. They're a big budget. How much of that budget do you profit?

• 13:08Speaker 02

  So we charge a fee. It's 20% of the overall budget, which is pretty standard, I think, these days at this level.

• 13:17Haley Sacks?

  And like, is it increasing every year?

• 13:18Speaker 02

  It is not increasing every year because we only take on so much.

• 13:23Haley Sacks?

  How many weddings do you do per year?

• 13:25Speaker 02

  It depends on where they are because each wedding comes with about three trips to wherever we're going.

• 13:31Haley Sacks?

  Wow. Do you get to put them on your credit cards? Do you get the points?

• 13:35Speaker 02

  We do. You know, it depends on the clients. Sometimes they have a credit card for us. A lot of times we do it. It's just not as messy for them and saves them time.

• 13:45Haley Sacks?

  Do you get to fly first class?

• 13:47Speaker 02

  You know, in my contract, I do, but that's it currently.

• 13:53Haley Sacks?

  So what are like the most popular destinations to get married?

• 13:56Speaker 02

  I always think Italy is popular. France is popular. We sometimes have a lot of Caribbean.

• 14:04Haley Sacks?

  Ooh, I love the Caribbean.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  Yep, like Bahamas and Mexico. We've done a lot in,

• 14:13Speaker 02

  you know, hopefully we'll expand to some other countries, but we do work in Europe quite a bit.

• 14:18Haley Sacks?

  I love that. And so when you have a budget like, you know, $2 million, what's the breakdown? Like, what are the different costs we're looking at? You're talking about all these build outs and things. So like, can you break down the pie? Like, what are the biggest costs?

• 14:33Speaker 02

  So let's say you're having a 200-person wedding.

• 14:37Haley Sacks?

  Is that normal?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, our sweet spot, and like, I love when we get to do like a 50-person wedding, but most of the time we're doing like 200 to 350. So let's say we have a 200-person wedding, five-star hotel. You're going to spend at least 200K on food and beverage, say rental fees, okay? That's before doing anything.

• 15:03Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  Then, you know, you're probably going to spend about 100K on florals if you're going to do like the ceremony, the cocktails, the dinner for 200 people. And all the other miscellaneous things and flowers are expensive right now and they have been since covid. Then you're going to spend at least 50,000 on lighting, uh, power generators, e- even if you're at a venue, you sometimes have to add power. You're going to spend probably at least 40K on sound, at least 50K on your dinner van, 10K on, you know, strings and cocktail music.

• 15:41Haley Sacks?

  Strings, that'll getcha.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  The cello, the cello players max out. Paper items, this sounds crazy, but let's say you do save the dates, invitations, the day of paper, like the welcome notes, the maps, the esque, you know, printed for all the people you're inviting, which is more than 200 guests. I mean, that might be $50,000.

• 16:04Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Then you have photo, which great photographers can be anywhere between 35,000 and 100,000.

• 16:11Haley Sacks?

  Whoa.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Video.

• 16:14Haley Sacks?

  And no one ever watches their wedding video, by the way.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably like themselves, maybe once every few years. And there's some really great videos out there, um, with like real film and stuff, but it's expensive. So I'd say anywhere from 25 to 50,000, let's say, to be reasonable. Um, then you have rentals, because nobody wants the hotel plates, classware, flatware, et cetera. So let's just say $75,000 for rentals. Then let's say, uh, welcome gifts, because everyone wants to give welcome gifts. Even if you don't go crazy and you do something super simple, it's still $10,000. Then you have fabrication. So you don't have to have crazy fabrication if you're doing it at a

• 17:02Speaker 02

  venue, but I'm pretty sure you're going to want like, you know, a stage facade. Some bars that are kind of special. So let's say 60,000 there. And then you're gonna have a dance floor.

• 17:17Haley Sacks?

  Oh.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  6,000 to 9,000 depending. I know.

• 17:21Haley Sacks?

  Yeah, that's free, they're giving it away.

• 17:24Speaker 02

  And then add all that up, you're probably close to a million dollars. Then you have your planner.

• 17:29Haley Sacks?

  That's you.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Then you have labor, which for this, you know, if this was a local wedding, out of venue, maybe 40,000, but some of these destinations are way more, but that's, that makes the whole difference. And then you have to have some money aside for gratuities.

• 17:46Haley Sacks?

  Yeah. How much are you supposed to tip?

• 17:48Speaker 02

  I usually do it based on the wedding and like what, you know, the client's most comfortable with. But let's say on this one million dollar wedding, it's somewhere between 10 and 20 that you give out to people that really deserve it.

• 18:00Haley Sacks?

  Do you help your clients with the tips?

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:03Haley Sacks?

  Cause that's a lot of effort, like on the wedding day.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, our clients shouldn't have to do anything but worry about getting dressed and like family stuff that I can't fix.

• 18:12Haley Sacks?

  Which my sister's wedding was a whole thing.

• 18:16Haley Sacks?

  Which I think you did try and fix.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  Sometimes, you know, sometimes it's fixable. But yeah, that it goes so fast. And like, that's without even thinking about, okay, we need to put a floor and an uneven ground in a field, a tent, then we need to make the tent look nice and like, it's not a tent because that's what most people ask for. And then all the things that go into that, you have to build a stage, you have to build bars, et cetera. So you can see why these weddings can become super pricey. I mean, oh, I forgot to even put shuttles. Let's say one night of shuttles, $20,000, you know, if you have to get them to the venue. So it all adds up.

• 18:54Haley Sacks?

  And you are dealing with really rich people and they're taking their guests to destinations. Do you think that they should pay for the rooms?

• 19:01Speaker 02

  No, I think that everybody has a budget, no matter who they are.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  I think it's very generous on those occasions when they do that.

• 19:12Haley Sacks?

  What percent of people do you think do that? That's always a thing where people are like, if I'm going to the destination wedding, do I have to get them a gift? And like, it's crazy that they're not paying for the rooms. I think it's okay that you're paying for the room.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  I do too. I think that, you know, people put so much cost into these few days and give you a great experience and no one's really paying for anything, that getting there and paying for the rooms is okay.

• 19:36Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  If the rooms were $10,000 a night.

• 19:41Haley Sacks?

  Have you seen that?

• 19:41Speaker 02

  No, but I don't.

• 19:43Haley Sacks?

  What's like the night, like the most expensive hotel you've done?

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Well, I see a lot of hotel rooms in general. And I mean, it's crazy, right? Like in Europe, the nice hotels, they're all 3,000 plus a night. Everything's so expensive, even, you know, in California. But I think there's a certain point that you really have to think about your guests and like, is this okay to ask or not?

• 20:05Haley Sacks?

  What are like the most common financial questions that you've got? Because there's a whole decorum to throwing a party, throwing a wedding where you want to come up as generous, but it's all, you're also trying to figure out where the line is.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, and we talk about this stuff a lot. I'm really big on talking about it in the beginning, which some people don't like because it's an uncomfortable conversation. But one, you know, I'm a, I'm definitely a woman of her word and I don't want to go into something without giving you an idea of what it's going to cost because then you're going to get a big bill later and then we're not going to like each other. And I'm not down with that.

• 20:38Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 20:42Speaker 03

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• 21:36Haley Sacks?

  It's also crazy that like the bride's budget for clothing is not included in this because it's definitely always at least a million dollars.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 21:42Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  I mean, I can't have it in my budget because...

• 21:45Haley Sacks?

  It's so much. And like the bridal stylist and the hair and makeup, like that, I feel like doubles it to begin with because every dress, everything that you get for a wedding is like 3X the price. Like you're gonna buy a flower at the store. It's maybe the same flower they're gonna sell you for a wedding for like so much more. And even hair and makeup, it's the same hair and makeup. But because they're doing it on your wedding day, they're gonna make it, they're gonna mark it up. Like why, what is that about? Like the wedding industry is so crazy.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  It is really crazy. Yeah, and like the amount of clothing and purses and shoes and...

• 22:24Haley Sacks?

  And it's all one-time use, which kills me too, where it's like you are buying, and people are so obsessed with like, I gotta keep the dress for like my, you know, daughter, dah dah dah. And I'm like, is your daughter really, your daughter's gonna want her own dress? What's the most expensive wedding dress that you've ever like had a bride wear?

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Well, when you get into like custom couture, it's in the hundreds of thousands.

• 22:46Haley Sacks?

  What?

• 22:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:48Haley Sacks?

  Hundreds of thousands?

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:50Haley Sacks?

  That's... Do you really look that much better?

• 22:53Speaker 02

  I think it depends how much fashion means to you, you know?

• 22:58Haley Sacks?

  Yes.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  And like you have to fly over to Paris a few times. It's not easy.

• 23:03Haley Sacks?

  Nothing good is.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  I know, it's true. But yeah, the biggest thing with weddings is priorities. You have to get your priorities straight. And if your priority is fashion, like... Put your money there.

• 23:15Haley Sacks?

  So something I think about a lot, I had someone write into my Dear Sugar Mama, which is my like advice column, and it was a girl who was marrying into a wealthy family and the mother of the groom was paying for everything and was using money to control the wedding and like control the venue, control the choices, whatever. And she felt really stuck. And so I'm wondering, have you ever had a family try to use money to control the wedding? That must happen a lot. I'm paying for this. I can decide.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've definitely seen that in my career. And, you know, luckily now, being a little older, like, I feel like that's something that I would step in on.

• 23:57Haley Sacks?

  Oh, I love that.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  And help with. And I luckily, you know, my clients are great and I don't see that very much, but I have.

• 24:05Haley Sacks?

  Give us some examples.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  You know, I think that it's hard for someone who's marrying into a family and they're paying for everything to demand things. It's a really hard place to be in. I think what's really nice is if you're able to get everyone to agree to let the couple be kind of like the people talking to me. And then when there's like decisions and we really love this, we really love that, then they can go to the committee.

• 24:30Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  To get their answers. But it's all, you know, it represents them, not somebody else. And I feel like that's a really great way that I've worked with couples and their families to represent them.

• 24:42Haley Sacks?

  So you have to do like a lot of financial counseling?

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would call it probably therapy.

• 24:47Haley Sacks?

  Yeah, it sounds like it. Like you're in a really complicated place.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is an interesting place because you're constantly kind of trying to keep everyone really happy. This is supposed to be really fun and not stressful. And I really don't believe in stressful wedding planning. So I think just having a relationship with all parties and like getting everyone excited about the same things really helps.

• 25:11Haley Sacks?

  So give us a little bit about your background. Like, how did you build this business? And like, how did you build up to this high clientele? Because it makes a lot of sense for you from as a business perspective to just do more expensive weddings because you're getting a piece of something that's a bigger pie.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  But I started in, I grew up in Palm Beach, Florida, and I worked with breakers.

• 25:33Haley Sacks?

  Fabulous.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  In high school. I then went to hospitality school. But I minored in psychology, which was. Probably the most useful in what I do. And then, you know, after college, I went into restaurants. I did catering, I did events, I actually helped manage a restaurant at 23. Because it just had to happen. And I worked my butt off, but I also learned like a lot about respect from, everyone was older than me. And then from there, I decided I wanted to go back towards events and I worked at the Little Nell in Aspen.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  Did a lot of events. I eventually moved to LA. I worked with another, another event planner for about eight years. We did a lot of celebrity and bigger weddings. And then eventually I went out on my own. And I just sort of developed my own group of clients, many of which, you know, were on the East Coast. For whatever reason. And from there, it's just, you know, kind of everyone's known, knows each other. And it's just been great because I feel like all of our clients know each other. They can get references on us from each other. We've met at weddings. We obviously still have clients in LA.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  And then we have miscellaneous clients that call from all over the world.

• 27:06Haley Sacks?

  Who do you think are the hardest clients though? Like self-made people, old money people, celebrities, athletes, influencers?

• 27:17Speaker 02

  I'll have to say, I mean, I feel like you'll find this interesting. When I, you know, started my own business and a lot of the people calling me were Wall Street finance. And imagine having to explain to dads.

• 27:35Haley Sacks?

  There's a lot of Wall Street fathers in your, in your world.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Why me charging 20% was fair? And why it just didn't mean I would pick everything most expensive so I would make more money?

• 27:48Haley Sacks?

  Oh yeah, how do you respond to that?

• 27:49Speaker 02

  I used to be so nervous, but.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  The truth is, it's not about, like, that's why we have a budget we're working from, because I'm not gonna wanna go over it. I wanna like, maintain the budget. It's for the amount of time and hours we put into this, which if you divided, would be nothing, you know, with the amount of hours. And like, that's what I would have to tell them over and over again, because I'm not gonna pick the more expensive florist, because then I'm probably not gonna make the budget that I'm trying to keep you on. But if you are gonna bring in Elton John.

• 28:25Haley Sacks?

  Have you seen that?

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm not going to, you know, take a commission on him, but I am gonna take a commission on that little piano getting in, because that's a lot of time and effort, and, you know, not easy. So, that was a really difficult part, just of building this career, is I had to explain that over and over to people who were not down with the fee structure. And now I feel really proud that I can explain it without being nervous, but also I think it is fair. I think it is the most transparent. And, you know, I also don't wanna feel bad about the amount of work we're putting in. I want everyone to feel good. And I will say that to people now, when they question the percentage.

• 29:11Haley Sacks?

  Do you say no to a lot of people?

• 29:13Speaker 02

  Sometimes I know when it's the wrong client for me, and I will say that.

• 29:19Haley Sacks?

  Wow. Tea.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:21Haley Sacks?

  What makes someone the wrong client?

• 29:23Speaker 02

  Well, kinda like we talked about in the beginning, like, if you wanna have all that decor dripping or feeling like you spent a lot of money.

• 29:33Haley Sacks?

  There are wedding planners for that.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's just a different vibe. And that's just not interesting to me to create. Like, I want it to be something they're super proud of. And people are like, wow, this is just beautiful.

• 29:47Haley Sacks?

  You were talking a lot about how involved that you get in people's, like, personal and familial lives doing this work. So, how much of this job is being a therapist? And like, what are some of the common issues that you really see coming up?

• 29:59Speaker 02

  I would say 70% is.

• 30:01Haley Sacks?

  Wow.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  And I don't even know that it's just about problems. I mean, you're so close for a year or more sometimes with someone.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Who you're really trusting a lot with. So you know, I'm never going to talk about people's finances. I'm not going to talk about their personal issues, you know? They feel comfortable. You know, I've been asked, I've been asked to help with a prenup. I've been asked to, after a wedding, help with a surrogate. Obviously, I'm not qualified for that.

• 30:36Haley Sacks?

  That you knew how to get one?

• 30:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:39Haley Sacks?

  Basically, they look at you as like a life concierge. They're like, what can she plan the wedding? Let's like, she'll do the prenup, she'll do the surrogate. You got them into preschool?

• 30:48Speaker 02

  It's really funny. And I, once I had a client say-

• 30:50Haley Sacks?

  That's how you expand the business.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Right, I know. Once I had a client say, your, your job is very interesting. It's like, you have to know everything and every answer to every question about things that don't even have to do with your, like, with a wedding. And I'm like, I know, like, because people text and be like, where is the best place in, you know, Milan to have dinner tonight? You know? So it's an interesting thing because for a year, you really can-

• 31:19Haley Sacks?

  You're the go-to.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

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• 31:54Speaker 03

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• 32:18Haley Sacks?

  You're talking a lot about how close you are with these clients. And I told a few of your clients that you're coming here today. And, you know, it was just a resounding, oh, my God, I love Steph. I can't believe you had to sit down with her. They're so excited, but it is hard because you are like so close to the couple. And then it's done, the wedding's over. So how do you cut off or like lessen contact post wedding? Like, I feel like that must be a pretty intense cliff for some people. Like, have you had to set boundaries?

• 32:47Speaker 02

  I know that's the hardest part is it's like over all of a sudden. And, you know, I still have to talk to him about photos, video, some leftover things. But you go from speaking all the time to like, you know, once every couple of weeks on text. And for a long time, I tried really hard. Every time I went to New York, I had to see every client, you know? Drinks with so and so, breakfast with so and so, coffee.

• 33:14Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  And it's exhausting.

• 33:16Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  So I'm not as good at it anymore. And obviously, there's been more clients, but I still try really hard to see people when I go back. I've never had to make boundaries with a client, but many of that, many of them have said I should start a business about like post-wedding depression with your planner.

• 33:35Haley Sacks?

  Okay, so now let's talk about the wedding industry because it is worth 1.3 trillion dollars. It has obviously blown up, and I think social media has a lot to do with that. And so how do you think expectations have changed when people are seeing these multimillion dollar weddings sort of normalized online? Like, honestly, like the ones that you plan, Steph, like you are a part of the problem. So you're setting the bar high for the rest of us because we're seeing your gorgeous moments. And obviously, you're not doing it for social media, but it's like, it is crazy. People go into debt for weddings or going into debt for bachelorettes. It's like all this keeping up with the Joneses bullshit.

• 34:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I often wonder how. People are going on all these bachelorette trips, destination weddings, gifts. It's a lot for young people in their twenties. And I do think it's great when people think about it or try to combine weekends, like a shower and a bachelorette. I definitely think social media has changed everything in the wedding business, whether that's for the better or worse.

• 34:37Haley Sacks?

  Because you started sort of before social media. It's like, what are some of the differences that you can speak to now?

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Well,

• 34:44Haley Sacks?

  Do you think the brides want more outfits?

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, for sure.

• 34:47Haley Sacks?

  Yeah.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  The brides want more outfits.

• 34:52Speaker 02

  Just in the beginning of social media, I just remember we were so appalled because all these tables that were being shown, everything was fake. You know, people were setting up things to look like a wedding, but it was really just a table. And the things they were doing weren't possible in reality. But I do, I think it shows people all these things. And then they want to have that many dress changes and they want to have. I just remember that wedding in Paris, that over the top.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Can't remember, it was like all over the place because they had like a social media person.

• 35:24Haley Sacks?

  Oh, the woman, the girl from Texas.

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:27Haley Sacks?

  Who was like, it was a $59 million Paris wedding. And then the groom got a life in jail.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:35Haley Sacks?

  Because he assaulted police officers. That is so crazy. He was given probation, of course, but I mean, $59 million. I don't know what they spent on.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I never know what to think when people say that there was a 59 million wedding or so and so got married and it was 30 million. I mean, that's a lot of money to spend. It's like, what on? And so I think

• 35:58Haley Sacks?

  They must have paid for all the rooms, maybe all the flights, maybe even private planes.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  There would definitely have to be private planes.

• 36:05Haley Sacks?

  You're obviously, it's hard to get on your roster. You need a lot of money to get in. It's exclusive, you don't take everyone. And I'm sure I have a lot of people listening who are getting married though, and want to have a special wedding with, you know, Steph Cove like touches. So is there any silver bullet advice that you could give to our brides and groom? Rooms who might be getting married, like best practices day of how to, are there any good like budget hacks that you have for weddings?

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Use your miles, you know, use it for site visits, for flights, use it for hotels, like do that as much as you can. I would, I get so many calls where they're like, I want to be outside. I want to have a tent.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  That is going to cost you a lot more money. Look at other venues. You're going to have more of what you want if you look at the other venues because then you can do some of the other touches.

• 36:59Haley Sacks?

  Oh, cool. So yeah, like don't, tent is always expensive. So like, take a loss somewhere so that you can win other places. Yeah. You can have everything, but you can have some things.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly. Same thing is like, you know, a band is really great, but if you're not a huge band person, hire a really great DJ and use that money somewhere else. If you are a huge entertainment person, hire a really great band.

• 37:23Haley Sacks?

  Don't skip out in bed. There's nothing worse.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Don't skip. You know, I think again, sit down with your fiance and do priorities. What matters to you? Like to me, it's entertainment, guest experience and flow for my own wedding. And to someone else, it might be what everything looks like. And also food and beverage was one of mine. And food and beverage you don't care about, or paper items you don't care about. If you don't care about paper items, you know, do electronics, save the date and invitation and spend more on what you do care about.

• 37:54Haley Sacks?

  I don't understand the paper items. Like I got a wedding invite and immediately in the trash. Yeah, I'm enjoying it for one second, but I'm like, you're saying people are spending 50 grand on these invitations? Like, send me a party full. Like it'll go right in my iCal. I'll know I'm going. You can have a cute website, but it's like, to me, that should be the first to go.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. And a lot of people choose that. I mean, to me, it's being old school. I love the paper, the texture, the process.

• 38:21Haley Sacks?

  Of course, it's a thing, but I'm like, the actual, I don't, I'm supposed to save every invite?

• 38:27Speaker 02

  No, you can't.

• 38:28Haley Sacks?

  What are other budget hacks?

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Other budget hacks?

• 38:31Haley Sacks?

  Can we rent our outfits?

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:33Haley Sacks?

  Okay.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  Outfits is a huge one. Rent your outfits.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  You know, get things at like old vintage stores. People spend so much money on clothes.

• 38:46Haley Sacks?

  It's so stupid.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  It's it's just so much and and then, you know, do something with it afterwards. You probably aren't going to wear it again.

• 38:55Haley Sacks?

  Yeah, dye it and wear it to something else or like sell it or rent it or donate it.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Donate it to someone that really needs it.

• 39:02Haley Sacks?

  Yeah, that's cool. I love that.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 39:04Haley Sacks?

  What about with like hair and makeup and all that because it gets so expensive?

• 39:07Speaker 02

  It does get expensive. I think, you know,

• 39:13Speaker 02

  I have gone to clients that have gotten less expensive hair and makeup stylists. And I've noticed they really do care about how they're going to look that day. And I've said, I really think this is somewhere you should invest. Whereas there's other people that don't care or super like laid back. And that's where I feel like they should save there. I think it depends on the person because that is meltdown territory.

• 39:38Haley Sacks?

  Yeah, I would meltdown.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. If you don't look how you want to look on your wedding day, that is like a very hard thing to make right at that moment before you walk down the aisle. And the last thing you want is someone crying because they feel like they're not looking how they want to on their wedding.

• 39:52Haley Sacks?

  Oh, that would be shitty.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  So I think it's good to invest there.

• 39:57Haley Sacks?

  Okay, any other tips?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Um, let's see what else.

• 40:01Haley Sacks?

  Like what areas do you think it's fine for budget for couples to cut back on?

• 40:05Speaker 02

  I mean, I definitely think there's some great photographers out there that are not in the crazy range. And, you know, I think sometimes people get stuck on like, I have to have this or that. Like, check out some young people in this business and like, look for talent. That's something I always do across the board, is look for for young, new people because it keeps it fresh and like it exists.

• 40:34Haley Sacks?

  And can you share the craziest like story you've had planning a wedding? Does one come to mind?

• 40:41Speaker 02

  We we joke about this because I have to like literally go into my brain and pull it out because we must like store things. First of all, like at Max and Collins the night before, like the lighting guys like fucked up and I was like. Screaming at them at like two in the morning over at the villa. And like in like a huge fight with like 12 French men. And then like one of their girlfriends got involved. And I'm like, don't you get involved. It was crazy, but that's like normal. I've been told to fix the fucking lightning. That was in my younger years, I cried. I've covered a mountain with hay because the dirt wasn't the right color.

• 41:24Haley Sacks?

  Is it doing it?

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Neely has spent her evening under a wedding dress because it was so big. It had to be carried the whole time. So she like lived under it.

• 41:37Haley Sacks?

  How's how short is she?

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Not short. It was a big dress.

• 41:42Haley Sacks?

  That's so invasive.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  I know. I mean, we've, we've.

• 41:46Haley Sacks?

  What if she farted? It would be like hot box in.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  I mean, it probably.

• 41:50Haley Sacks?

  Fights don't fart. Fights don't fart. Can you talk to us about Taylor and Travis? Like, what would you do if you were planning their wedding? Where do you think they're getting married? You are your you're to the ground in the wedding industry. Have you heard whispers? Like, what's going on?

• 42:03Speaker 02

  I think that they're probably getting married soon.

• 42:06Haley Sacks?

  They're getting married July 4th.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what I've heard. And.

• 42:10Haley Sacks?

  Do you think it's at the Met? That's what I heard.

• 42:12Speaker 02

  I don't know. I think they probably are working with someone that they really know well and trust.

• 42:19Haley Sacks?

  Do you think it's a wedding planner or like someone that works for them?

• 42:21Speaker 02

  I think it could be a mix of both is what I think. And I hope, you know, one of my favorite things working with when I did more celebrity weddings is I wanted to be in the FBI originally. And I got to use some of that when we were keeping them on the DL. And I hope that whoever it is is able to, you know.

• 42:48Speaker 02

  To to pull it off and that afterwards it can all come out and Vogue or whatever. So that they all get their moment of privacy.

• 42:57Haley Sacks?

  How would you go about planning that wedding?

• 43:00Speaker 02

  I would not tell anyone like I wouldn't even tell like most of my team. And for similar ones in the past, um, that's how I did it. And

• 43:12Haley Sacks?

  You're like, do you tell your partner?

• 43:14Speaker 02

  Probably yes, that's probably the only person, but like you don't tell your friends. You don't tell your parents.

• 43:19Haley Sacks?

  No. For the rest of the team, you would just say, we're planning this A-list wedding.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  I'd kind of use different names and different details and not make a big deal out of it.

• 43:29Haley Sacks?

  Yeah, you can't be like, we're planning this wedding.

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Treat it as much as like any other wedding until you have to get into like all the security parts and

• 43:38Haley Sacks?

  Is that really what makes it different?

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, I think this one, there's just been such a ruckus about it. Like I just, I worry it's going to be just such a

• 43:47Haley Sacks?

  A mess.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  A mess, just like people are waiting like on July 4th, you know?

• 43:52Haley Sacks?

  I don't know how it could not be.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:54Haley Sacks?

  And they also need a huge venue that is closed. So it makes sense that it would be the Met or something. But it's just weird to me that they would do it in New York. I feel like it's maybe they're like, yeah, trying to they tell, make us think that they're doing it in New York. But really they're going to do it. If I were them, I would do it on an island. Like I would do it somewhere where I fly everyone in and then it's like completely closed off. Good security and I control everything.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  I have a feeling there's a lot of really brilliant people behind it and it will probably shock us all. And hopefully we'll all just miss it until the next day and then everyone will know.

• 44:29Haley Sacks?

  Okay, Steph Cove, thank you for being here. Queen of the wedding industry, giving us the best tea. Thank you for everything.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Me, Haley.

• 44:38Haley Sacks?

  I love you.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  Can't wait till you have a wedding one day.

• 44:40Haley Sacks?

  I know, it's gonna be scary.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Back with, back with your fam.

• 44:43Haley Sacks?

  Oh my God, you have to do a lot of therapy for us.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  I will say one thing about weddings is they sometimes do bring out different parts of people. Soon as the wedding's over, they come back.

• 44:55Haley Sacks?

  Okay, good. So if you are dealing with a monster, you're getting married, just know your person's gonna be back soon.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's just a lot, a lot of emotions.

• 45:03Haley Sacks?

  It is, it is. Okay, well, stay rich, queen.

• 45:14Speaker 04

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